The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-09-30
Fun Of tbe Word


stone An, there Is an inscription on the
vail Latin. Funny place to put Il
Post Nobis. Let's see. I've forgotten
most OF my Latin; what do you make
out Of it?''
The o.her adjusted MS eyeglasses. crit
icai.y surveyed the inscription. and re-
TUNED.
Hum, Post means after of course,
but 'nooils' gets away with me. Nobils.
nools, no-Ill have 10 give it up. Let's
inquire next door,"
Thereupon they sought out the intelii-
sent custodian Of the building. and put
their question.
What does that there inscript.oa
mean?" the man repeated after them. Ia
a plying tone. 1T means just exactly
What It says. and forty sh.lings fine into
TIE bargain if you so posting any bills
about this place.
ggg
One day Lord Marrls was sitting al hfe
Four Courts as Lord Chief justice OF
Ireland, when a young barristec from he
north rose nerv0usly 10 -nake his first
motion. The Judge had declared that 70
one listening 10 himself would ever take
him for anything but en- Ir.ssman, wh.ca
was perfectly correct But Galway cou d
not understand Antrim, The Lord CEief
Justice leaned over 10 ask the associate
where the barrister hailed from.
County Antrim" was the response.
Then asked MS loTdshiD of the OH. ial:
Did We liver come across SIGH a fright
ful ACCENT in the course of yer loife?'
AT another time 1t fell to his lot 10
hear case at Coleraine. in which dam
ages were claimed from a veterinary
surgeon for having Doisonsd a valuable
horse. The issue depended upon whether
certain number OF grains of partlc-
uIar drug could be safely administered to
the animal The dlspensary doctor
proved that he had often given eighe
grains 10 a man. from which is was u
be inferred that twelve fer a horse VS.
not excessive.
Never mind yer eight grains. doctor
said the Judge we all know that some
poisons are cumulative in effect, and y
may go 10 the edge of ruin with inpu-
nifty. But tell me this: The twelve
grains-wouIdn't they XIII the divil him
self II he swallowed thsm2"
The doctor was annoyed and pompous-
~ replied: I don't know, my lord;
never had him for patient"
From the bench came he answer: An
no. docther. We niver had. more's the
pity! The old bhoys aloive."
Possibly the most novel response ever
made TO a request 10 return a vote o.
thanks TO a chairman was that made by
Mr. Moody during his first visit TO En-
gland.
The duty of proposing a vote OF thanks
was assigned TO him, and the announce
ment made:
Our american cousin, the Rev Mr.
Moody OF Chicago. viii now move Vote
Of thanks to the noble Earl whohhas pre-
sided on this occasion
MI
Moody's line. English formaliiies n GIT
or might not have come gracefully rom
his lips had he attempted them, but he
did not With an utter disregard of n
vendonality he burst upon the audience
with the bold announccm Mt:
THE speaker has made two mistakes.
/ To begin with. I'm not the Rev Mr.
Moody at all I'm plain Dwight l..
| Moody a Sunday school worker. And
then, I'm not your American cousin; b.
the grace Of God. I'm your brother. in
teres ted with you in our Fathers work
for his children.
And now about this. vote OF thanks
to the noble Earl for being our chair
man this evening l don't see why W.
should thank him any more than he
should thank US. When at one time they
offered to thank our Mr.. lincoln for PIE
siding over a meeting In Illinois. he stop
ped it, He said he'd tried 10 do his
duty and they'd tried to do theirs. He
thought it was about an even thing all
round"
z gg E
THE evils Of drinking was the sub
ject upon which two prominent cIubmen
communed the other day. WAY not ask
ones friends 10 take something more
useful than a drink" Acting upon he
idea. they went into the nearest shop
a haberdash sand number one asked.
What will you have?" a pair Of socks
! think" said number two. and with a
Here's luck! he put them IN his
pocket Have one with me?" Thanks.
I'll have tie" They chatSed while the
tie was being papered. and hen came q
the inevitable: Have another "No,
/ thanks, really" was the answer; have
/ To keep my head clear for business, don
/ you know"
81 EE
A friend at the front. going the round
/ Of a conyalescent hospital. ore day lounl
/ three wounded soldiers very busIv err
/ gagged In pulling down he iron wate--
I pipes which carried the rain from n
roof and l'gently brea king them % fl
small pieces. The earnestness with y hich
the work Of destruction was being ar
ried out forbade the idea i1at the men
We're doing Erstutitous mischief and my
friend was cOnsiders bly, puzzled y III
spectacle. They we're 50 buy that theg
did not see him approach. bur 70 ked up
when he said: 1T seems 70 e rather =
pity % destroy those good pipes DO sn't
~ What are you doing 81 for2T Wei
sir replied one 81 the men. ] okur Us
from his task you see. We gets Ealf a
crown apiece for these tfts ~ Boer shells
what was fired into Kimberley"
zss
An Irishman who. after honorable Ger
vice in India, returned 20 England and
found q place az 2 butler 81 a ceuatry
family. vas telling his experience r. a
battle-the advance. tbe < Hop fhe
charge. and bow, rs che rider IN deal
from his saddle. The death vrla az hfr
fingers on his pistol DISCHARGED q ard
killed his own horse.
VIVA; struck you most forcg5Iv When
al was over ard you looked osck 20 fg'
asked a friend
An SAID The Old servant. resec.ivsiy.
= think. sir. that what struck me MT
forcioi SIR. vas me bullets that m ,sseI
ne"
zzR
a party o. young men we're sakfaz
dinner few nights aE9 20 a fasalona 3, =
cafe. when orH ~ them. wb1 ~ some
what % = Jester. calfe, the waiter ans
said.
John. 20 ard call Main -- y 70
ran answers. it ViH - NJ vie. Ter
her thai I Instructed yeu 20 ssy 'ha- &
an n ;he p9iice Station for feu seurs.
an5 vii uot - ~ home fo- 4 mar r y
- her shat the poarfolg.-ss a-s IA. 7
shall Ho- ~ az eoms tonight. f-nser-
stand ne sir7"
Jazz wiuked couple ~ tiu1es la a
- a-Fr IA
suzEesfss.
ga -s1slr' -
ger X no.h.1z ST. r shs aaks
Hnn n -aLE-r- - ~ !. q - II