West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1900-11-08
POSSUM POLITICS.
Uncle Jerry Trotter Genes Up from
Kentucky to Nix in,
And Meets With Such Applause that
Elder Toots has 10 be Carried Ont Be-
fore He Recovered His Breath.

/ II
M the wishbone of gray gander
TX would fore,ell the weather by
Changing color. For the last 10 years he
has supplied the Iimekiln club with barrel
OF ehilblain cure per year, and his instrue.
tons as to how to roast possum have made
him famous among all cooks. When il was
announced that he had walked 600 miles to
deliver a speech at Possum party meeting.
such crowd turned ost to greet him that
Paradise hall could not hold the half of il.
When Brother Gardner brought the old
man forward to introduce him, the en-.
thusiasm broke loose, and such a cloud of
dus, was kicked up rhat il was next to im.
possible TO see the stage for the next FIVE
minutes. When he could be heard and
seen, the venerable old man carefully de-
posted his hat and umbrella at his feet and
| began;
"My dear fr'en's, de SHOWS of sebenty-
two winters hev blowed frew dis wool of
mine, an dc stiffness of ole aige, has come
to my j'ints, but rze gwine to foller de
Possumites along the road to glory as long
as kin put one foot befo' dc other Great
| eheering.l know no other party, no other
kentry. an I'm believin de fires of patriotism
| will warm me up from head to heel an
take 20 Vars off my aige. Tremendous
applause.l Way down dar in Kaintueky,
when read in dc papers dat dc black man
had iiz up at last an was gwine to have a
party of his own an do bizness on his own
account de news 'peared to be too good to
he true. (Cheers.) went round akin dis
man an dat, an when dey said we'd got a
Possum party at last | packed up my
bundle an creased my buteS an took to de
middle of de road. daughter and cheers }
dun wanted 10 meet up wild yo' aud shake
hands an tell yo' dat Uncle Jerry could he
depended on to help TO do de yellin' an de
votin'. t''HIurrah for Uncle JerryO
"As trabbled long dc highway met,up
wild white men who laughed at dc ideah OF a
possum party, but dey won't feel so iickIed
man am gwine to sot on de fence an take
no part in dis campaign, he doan' know de
race. Gigantic applause.l We's bin like
lost chillen wanderin, about in de woods.
but we's got ober wanderin'. We's been
feelin about in de darkness an afsared tu
move but, 10, de light has come (Cheers. J
In de maxim of lie future history of America
we shall demand to be counted in. (Cries
of ''Yo' betr) America has fur 10 vars
looked upon he laii q populashun as chlen,
but all de time we has bin CROWN up to be
men and women, am now de time has come
20 prove dat we ann full grown an seasoned
wild ginger. tIurrah, hurrah vO Repre-
sentin' de aims, ambishuns' hope an fears
of de Guild populashun as it alus has an
does, dis Limekiln club was right TO take
dis step an fling TO de breeze de banner of
de possum party. All honah to II, au' may
ebery black man remember il wild gratitude
trhunders of applause.)
"Ize gwIne back hom. to.morrcr kase
I'ze got my truck patch to see to, an de ole
woman hahn feelin' we'll, an as walk
along de road de white man will say to me
'Waal, Uncle Jerry. how bout de possums ?
What 20 trillin darkies gwine to do in
politics Why doan' yo stick to cake
walks ? tHisses and groans) An Tze
gwine to stop an talk back To him Ize
gwine to draw myself up an answer him dat
fur dc last eight weeks dc black men of
America hev bin engaged in de maxim Of
history fur de world to cad durn' de next
1000 y'ars. (Cheersl From ocean to
ocean an from sea to sea de drums hev bin
beatin' an de buges BLOWN to call 'em
together De campaign has opened so hot
an dar has bin so much noise dat de white
man has overlooked sartin things. Among
these sariin things am dc fact dat a millyun
or mo- black men hey got votes dat weighs
70 ounces to de pound. CNad yells aud
cheers
''Bu,, my cbilen, it amt gwinc to be no
coon hunt. Yo's gwinc to buck ag'in dc
white man al ebery turn, and he's gwine to
try to play roots on yo' cherry day in de
week. (Groans.) He's bin runnin' dis
kentry eber since it was diskivered He's
been bossin around til il will come mighty
hard fur him to let go. Doan' 20 make de
mistake of tryin' 10 grab a whole smoke
house to once. Laughter.) Yo' jess lay
low like de possum. Yo' doan' want TO
put out no candydate fur president. Yo'
doan want to try no game Of bluff. Yo'
just want to count noses and hnd out yor
strength, and den yo kin send a man down
to Washington or elsewhere to say, DE black
man Of America loves ms kentry an
reverenccs de constuiushun, but how many
Offices 20 gwine to glib him fur a millyun
votes ?" tVociferous applause.)
''Yo' can't wash de black off yo'r faces
nor straighten de kinks out Of yo'r hair bu,
20 kin rarn the white mans ways. Long
ago he diskivcred dat he could lub his
kentry an hold a fat Office at de same time
tYells.) lie am ready to die fur de star
spangled banner, but he am also ready TO
draw from $1,000 to $40, 900 a year salary
Oaughter) Yo kin be patriots az Office.
holders al the same time. An yo' want to
watch de white mans actions an be guild d
by 'em. When hes running campaign. he
tends right to bizncss. lie amt walking
sebcn miles to see circus, an he ain't
lookin' fur no rabbit tracks in dc back
ya'd. daughter Hes jest got his eye
on de White House all dc time, an he ain't
gwine TO take any chioces by gwine of to
baseball or hoss race Doap' yo' git
giddy an LEI him frow yo off de rack Dis
won't be no yar for cake walks nor picnics
Dis won't be no summer fur settin' ON dc
fence an waitin' fur de band wagon 10
come along. lSighs.) tell yo', my chillca.
dar's work to be done, heaps an heaps of