davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1900-09-28
DEMOCRATIC COUNTY TICKET.

DEMOCRATIC COUNTY TICKET
For District Judge
d. F. SMITH.
THOMAS C. HAND.
For Treasurer
SAMUEL HILBURN.
For Clerk and Recorder
AUGUST LAGONI.
For County Assessed
ANDREW DUNSIRE.
For County Attorney
r. L. OLIVER.
For Clerk of the District Court
JAMES X. LANG.
For Superintendent of Schools
FANNIE l.. SPURCk.
For County Surveyor
ERNEST RAkOWITZ.
For Public Administrator
JOHN j. KENNEDY.
For Coroner
P. T. NEITHER.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1900-09-28

The Bee acknowledges with thanks
gifts of all kinds of fruit and vegetables
from numerous friends.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1900-09-28

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER %, 1900.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1900-09-28

NorE-Give old and new address when order
ing paper changed to new address.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05
A ~GrOyylerY.o

"Please don't go il there. That's the
growlery, and it's occupied" 1t was
q young West Philadelphia matron who
made the remark as she was showing
a friend through her new home.
1.-The growlery" repeated the other.
whats that? Not where you rush the
growler, 1 hope:"
This wasFaid in jocular spirit. and
the visitor was rather staggered by the
reply.
That's 1t exactly; where we rush the
growler, although perhaps not in the
way you fancy. You see, my husband
is an occasional sufferer from indiges-
ton, which doesn't improve his temper,
and there are also times when my own
temper-I tell you this In confidence
is not of the best. Well, when we
moved out here and had more rooms i'll
the house than we actually needed I
hit upon the plan of setting aside one
as place of solitary retirement. where
we could go and be alone when either
of us felt our temper getting the best
of us. l have called 1t the growlery
because we can lock ourselves In there
and growl to our hearts content until
we have quite recovered. We both
avail ourselves Of it. and think it's Il
very good idea. George Is in there
now, and | wouldn't disturb him for
the world" Record.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05
First Rows In Paradise.

A Russian correspondent sends US
details of a very interesting and anus
ing tale told by Russian veterinary
surgeon who was sent into the Ural
district to buy horses and hay for the
peasants Of the famine stricken prov
inces. He had to do mostly with the
natives (kirghizD. who are half say
age. but who. nevertheless. were found
to be extremely honest and absolutely
trustworthy in oil buying and selling,
some of them even Offering to give
horses for the starving peasants.
Quite a different story has the sur
geon to tell of the Ural Cossacks. who
did their level best to cheat him in
the most barefaced manner and on
whom no reliance was to be placed.
And yet these Cossacks are very re-
ligious and so simple in certain re-
spects that a swindler succeeded in
selling them quite number of tickets
for-paradise! The veterinary surgeon
saw several Of these tickets, which
were marked First rows" and sold at
25 rubles, back seats bringing consid-
erably less.-Commercial Intelligence.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05
Took Iiirn mt His Word.

The faculty of terse and focefuf
speech is ordinarily an advantage, but
occasionally Il man gets hoisted by his
own epigram. A hustling young New
Yorker who was recently established
In branch of the oil business had set
out to get the patronage Of n certaiu
firm. The head OF the concern was re-
luctant to make 4 change.
1.-The OIL we have been getting has
not been unsatisfactory" said he, land
l fail to see why we sh Juld make Il
change. Are there any extra induce
ments you can offer? How do you pro-
pose to improve on the old quality"
Gin this way" was the prompt an
swer. 81 propose to give the business
my personal attention. L intend to put
some Of my brains into every barrel Of
oil we send out"
The rejoinder pleased the old gentle
man, and he became Il customer.
A few months later the hustling
young man was obliged to- make jour-
ney, and in his absence. through some
oversight, the quality Of oil was allow
ed to deteriorate. 1t was quickly noted,
and letter on file In the Office records
one of the protests. 1t reads: Gentle
men-When we were induced to use
your product, we were ensured that
Mr.. Blank put some of his brains into
every barrel of oil. We deeply regret
to observe that Mr.. Blank is threatened
with Observation-Disclosures Star.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05
CARVING the Yo.emite valley.

In a recent article on the origin Of
the Yosemite valley, Professor W. P.
Blake-a most adequate authority on
the subject-remarks that the gorge, so
grand and impressive, is, In fact, only
a minor feature of the glacial workings
above 1t through hundreds of square
miles of the Sierra. Professor Blake
thinks that the Ice must have filled the
gorge, and much above 1t, to thick
ness Of 5000 feet, and with a pressure
upon the floor Of the valley of 10000
pounds to the square foot; the ire
mendous force of such weight, on the
under surface of which was a broken
mass of rock. like diamonds In drill,
grinding. planning and cutting. can
scarcely be imagined; for untold ages,
too. this mighty force was at work.
polishing the face Of the country
through which it passed.
The character of the Yosemite rock
being granite, close grained and verti-
cal in structure, with points of easy
fracture, it would appear that, as the
great mass Of ice bore down upon this
vertical rock, 1t was broken and knock
ed over by the moving Ice, Aaking off
at the places Of easy cleavage. Thus,
according to Professor Blake. the prec-
ipice was formed, and thus is explain
ed the dome shaped SUBMITS of the
mountains there.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05
sIBERlA'S BIG GOLD CROP.
Large Quantities of 1t Struggled Out

Large Quantities of 1t Struggled Out
of the Country.
In spite of the most stringent Rus
sian laws on the subject-the taking
away of gold without government con-
sent-there is an enormous business
done all over Siberia in gold, both dust
and, especially, nuggets stolen from
the workings. 1t Is a criminal offense
to be found In possession Of gold; but
as so large a proportion Of the popula-
ton Of Siberia consists Of those sent
there for punishment, and the only
further punishment they have to fear
is deportation to some yet more distant
region of the same barren and joyless
land, the deterrent is by no means SO
formidable as n mere perusal of the
awful menaces Of the statutes at first
sight seems to convey. Moreover. the
successful dealer in stolen gold rarely
fails to escape the penalties Of his of.
Tense, even when caught redhanded.
The Russian official. even In Russia
proper, is seldom altogether unreason-
able; and in Siberia, where the preg-
nant saying Of the dishonest 'chinov-
Mix" Its long way to Peter'-that
is, st. Petersburg-is especially slgnii-
cant, the official Is good natured' In
the extreme. and a substitute can al
ways be bought to accept unpleasant
responsibilities.
A great part Of the gold is conveyed
over the Chinese frontier-that Is.
across the river Amur. which Is the
sole defense Of the frontier against
smuggling from both sides-and finds
a ready sale ut ruinous sacrifices in ex-
change for certain fiery Chinese
vodka. The valuable properties of this
spirit. much esteemed by Russian and
native alike. are that 1t gives the GUS
toner the beatitude Of intoxlcation one
day. and. on the next he can attain the
same exalted state by the cheap expe-
dent of drinking water.-Chambers'
Journal.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05

One day president of the United
States sent f3r me. He had been elect
ed to that nigh office, but had not yet
been installed.
Il hsur," he said, that you have just
coms back from Washington"
"Yes"
"Did you go to the White House?
You did? Well. please sit down and
tell me all about it. What sort of n
house is 1t? How is it managed? How
many rooms are in it? Whereabouts
does the president do his work? And
how did you get in there-how do WIS.,
itors manage to see the house while
president and his family are living in
it?"
"Why," exclaimed, you have often
been to Washington! Have you never
visited the White House?"
NO." said he, Il have only seen the
outside of it. have never even seen
a president or, in fact, any great man.
am SO peculiarly constituted that If
knew the greatest man in the world
could be seen by walking to the corner
I would not walk there. But now
that 1 am about to make the White
House my home, l should very much
like to hear all that you can tell me
about it."-Julian Ralph in Saturday
Evening Post.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05
Ernnce. NYfIlnrd.s Emntx Purse.

1t was characteristic Of the late
Frances Willard that she never had
any money. Miss Gordon attended to
her finances. and it was found on the
whole best to leave Miss Wizards
purse empty. because If she started
out in the morning with full pocket
book she came back perniless in the
evening. One night she told in Eer ill.,
imitable way of having gone to Chi
cago and reached Rest Cottage again
on the capital Of postage stamp. At
the station she timed her pockets out,
but not Bit ~ change was to be
found. She had forgotten all about it.
what am to do about itT' she asked
the agent perpleXedly. anna Is out, ]
think. and haven't cent Of money"
"I'll give you ticket, Miss Willard"
said the clerk.
when / got into the bus I reDiem-
bered again." she said, land told the
driver, II think I'll have to walk. for
haven't any money" "Oh, that's all
right. Miss Willard" said the driver.
And so all day. greatly to her amuse-
ment, she went on getting In debt to
the railroads. cabmen and restaurants.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05
AN EFFECTIVE SERMON.
A Trumpet Blast That Drove the PEG
n Renenfonce

A Trumpet Blast That Drove the Peo-
pie to Repentance.
A prominent Methodist churchman
recently told the following story of cd
Peter Cartwright, the famous preacher
and circuit rider of many years ago:
The exhorter was holding a camp
meeting in Ohio. There was Il great
number of campers ON the field, and
the eccentric speaker addressed vast
concourses at every service, but he
thought too few were being converted.
He felt that something should be done
to stir the sinners to repentance, so
he prepared a strong sermon on the
second coming of Christ. He told how
the world would go on in its sin and
wickedness, and at last Gabriel would
sound his trumpet and time would
come to an end. He described the
horrors of tie lost and the joys Of
those who were saved. The sermon
grew in intensity, and lie brought his
people up to 4 grand climax when sud
denly the sound of 4 trumpet snote
the ears Of the anxious throng.
There was 4 great sensation. and
many fell upon their knees IN terror
and began to repent and pray. Women
screamed and strong men groaned:
pandemonium was let loose for few
minutes. After the terror had some
what ceased the preacher called to a
man up n tree and he descended with
long tin horn in his hand. The
speaker then turned in fierce wrath
and upbralded the people. He cried
out in stentorian tones that If man
with a tin horn up tree could
brighten them SO, how would it be in
the last great end when Gabriers
trumpet sounded the knell Of the
world. The sermon had n great effect
upon the vast audience. and many
hundreds f1ocked to the front and were
conyerted.-New York Tribune.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05

In an address before the Virginia
State Bar association James P. Harri-
Son of the Danville bar told this story
of an emiBent judge in Virginia. who
sat on the bench with his feet up be-
fore him, showing his soles to coun-
sci and audience: 1.-THE defense had
offered little negro as a witness for
their client, and the commemorative
attorney challenged the witness as too
young to testify. When the pickanin-
ny had been sworn on the Holy Evan
gelists. he was asked by the common
wealth's attorney what he had done.
Il swared,' said he.
"'And what will happen to you now
II you tell lie? the lawyer roared.
"'My nanny, she'll whip me-
els that all? insinuated the defend
ants attorney.
"'No. sab. De debble, he'll get me-
"And then the judge took his feet
down, and leaning over the bench with
menacing finger said, Yes, and I'll get
you, too, sir"
"When quick as flash came the
boys ready reply, Boss, OATS jess
what done said New York Sun.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05
FROM THE SHADOW,

Under the roses and under the dew,
Dead-but the dreaming. dear heart, Of youi
For the day you knelt near the death yelled place
/ felt your tears fall over my face.
And the rose that you left where my dreams must
be
Thrilled the thought Of you down to mel
And said, from my couch in the white walled
dust,
'she Is true to her love, she is true to her trust
"And her tenderest tears will fall for mo
Till we meet in Gods eternity
Under the rose and under the dew,
Dead-but dream no more Of yosl
The stormy winds DER my dwelling rave;
Dead ere the roses that blessed my grave.
For you never kneel by my couch to say
The loving words that you said that day.
Crumbles my name on the marbles crust,
Nv dreams are dead, and my heart Is dust!
Atlanta Constitution.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05


Who does not know him, with his
goatlike beard, his wispy hair, his "gal-
luses" Of homely cut, his trousers
evolved by the seeming aid Of buzJ-
saw, his voice Of an impossible nasal
ity, his speech uncouth, his gestures
ungainly, his greatness amazing? Who
has not seen him on the stage of the
vaudeville farce or outlined by the
overworked carlcaturist? No one.
We are familiar with him from alb
surd hat to ludicrous footwear, and
have been for years. Who sees him on
the streets of northwestern cities to-
day? No one.
In a modified form he exists in that
part of the nation which Bostonese are
wont to call way down east" He
also exists to some extent in the New
England that Is nearer Boston than
Maine, while from New York and New
Jersey he is not altogether absent.
West of a line drawn north and south
through Chicago he is rare-at least as
an indigenous variety.
The passing of the "hayseed" Is de-
sirable. AS the farmer becomes. more
like him Of the city he and his childhen
will care less for the so called s1ats
Of metropolitan life, will rec III
innate and indestructible indAb l{ca
and will be better satisfied with MS lAt
Minneapolis Times. s&
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05
BOY Bnbien and City Life.

Cities are more favorable to women.
for statistics show that more boy
babies die under months In cities
than girl babies. Families. according
to the statistics. are larger in cities
than In the country. There are more
marriages In proportion to the popula-
tion In cities than in the country. and
also more divorces. The foreign popu-
lation in cities Is being eliminated. and
In 20 years from now we shall
practically have nothing but American
cities.-St. Paul Globe.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05

In n rural community In one of the
middle states dwelt n man who made
n VOW in 1856 that he would wear his
hair and beard untrimmed until John
c. Fremont should be elected president
OF the United States.
He kept that VOW for 40 years. at the
end of which time he had nearly half
bushel of hair on his head and face.
Then. coming to the conclusion, to-
ward which his mind had been gradu-
ally working for long time. that ecu
eral Fremont's death in the interval
had practically absolved him from his
VOW, he decided to have his hai- cut
and his beard shaved off clean. On
his next visit to the county seat he
went to barber shop and was soon
relieved of the hirsute burden he had
carried for four decades.
"How much?" he asked.
Have to charge you half dollar
for that job" said the barber. looking
at the mass that lay on the floor.
Half dollar" he gaspe,1. Don't
get anything for the "--Youth's
Companion.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05
ONE OF soTHERN,S JOKES.
The Irrcpressiblc Actors Prank In
an IrcnmonEcr's Shop.

the 1rrcpFesslblc Actors Prank In
I'm Ironmonger's Shop.
Mrs. John Wood, one of the veterans
of the English stage. appeared with the
elder Sothcrn in the same troupe for sew
eral seasons in the old days. She enjoyed
his companionship highly. she says, and
loves to tell of the many humorous tricks
he played in private life. On one occa-
sion, while the company was playing in
Birmingham, Mrs. Wood met Sothern in
the street. They were near an ironmon
gers shop, when he shook hands with
her and babe her good morning.
Would you mind going i'll here with
me? | want to make small purchase"
he said.
She accompanied him.
He went up To the counter and said, 81
want 'Macaulay's History of England"
The assistant said: I'VE do not sell
books. sir. This is an ironmonger's shop"
We'll, I'm not particular" said Soth
ern. pretending to be deaf. 81 don't care
whether it is bound in calf or Russia"
But this is not booksellers" shouted
the assistant.
''All right" said Sothern. Wrap it up
neatly. l want to have it sent down to
the hotel. It's for n present wish to
make to relative. Put it up nicely"
I'VE don't keep it," shouted the assist
ant, getting red in the face, while Mrs.
Wood stepped aside and took a chair in
another part Of the shop, almost over
come with suppressed laughter at the
cheerful, frank expression of Sothern's
face and the mad. puzzled look Of the
shopkeeper's assistant.
do it up as if it were for your own
mother. l don't want anything better
than that" said Sothern. Il would like
TO write my name on the fly leaf"
"Sir," bawled the assistant at the top
of his voice. 1--WE do not keep books"'
Very WELL" said the actor. quite IN
disturbed at the emotion he was creating.
Il will wait for it."
Under the impression that his customer
was either stone deaf or lunatic, the as
sistant bounced off to the lower end of
the shop and asked his master to come.
saying: Il can do nothing with the man.
think he must be off his head" Where
upon the principal marched up to the
spot where Sothern was standing and
asked very loudly: what is it, sir? What
do you desire?"
81 want to buy a file," returned Soth-
ern quictly-"a plain file, about four or
five inches in length"
Certainly" said the principal. with a
whitening look at his assistant and pro-
ducing at once the article which had been
usss.i co.:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05
The Blood Red banner.

Royal and national colors vary with
nations and times: but since Cain slew
Abel blood red has been the sign of re-
volt. In the earliest revolt known to
history. when the Persians rose against
their king 1000 years ago. they were
led by blood red banner. and during
the riots which took place In Paris the
men in the blood red caps were follow
ed by the mob.
A blood red flag waved over Bunker
Hill when the Americans fought us for
liberty. and 1t was the emblem of the
German peasants in their great upris-
ings in 1924. 1492 and 1875. Blood red
was the color OF the trade union flags
during the middle ages. and 1t formed
the background Of the emblem of the
Swiss confederacy In 1915.
Through the whole of French and
every other national history those
striking In their own ways for liberty
have worn the blood her cap and hail
ed the blood red banner as their leader
1t is curious fact that never has
monarch chosen 1t us his color. 1t has
been left sacred to revolutionists.-
don Answers.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05
A STICK WITH A STORY.
The Odd Office Which 1t Performed
In Gambling Den,

The Odd Office Which 1t Performed
In n Gambling Den.
"There's an odd little story connect
ed with this old cane" said a New
Orleans sporting man the other day.
"You will observe how heavy it is and
how the ferrule comes down to 4 sharp
point. 1t used to be carried by an old
chap who was q well known character
here back in the seventies. He had an
interest In q very crooked gambling
house. won't hurt anybody's feel
ings by mentioning the exact location,
but it was saying that you might as
well slide your money under the door
and walk off. 1t saved time.
This old fellow I'm speaking Of
never operated any Of the games, but
was apparently mere spectator. His
business was to dispose of what were
known technically as Knockers A
knocker was anybody who attempted
to put a victim on his guard. usually q
we'll meaning but officious friend. For
example, a visitor would be playing at
one of the games and his friend, look
ing on, would smell rat. AS 4 rule
he would feel it his duty to say some
thing, and such suggestions were mt.
urally resented by the house.
when the old man would see q
knocker about to knock he would
hobble up, leaning heavily on his cane,
and plant the ferrule, as If by acci-
dent. squarely on the Offenders foot.
Such a prod would cause the victim
excruciating agony. and he would i'm
medlately lose all interest in exposing
fraud. While he was writhing and
groaning the old fellow would over
whelm him with apologies and insist
upon his coming into the back room
to get q drink. Meantime the other
chap would be losing his money as fast
as he could get 1t out.
There's no telling how much
plumber this stick has been the means
of securing. Its original owner has
been dead these many years. and
keep it as a curlosity."-New Orleans
Times Democrat.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05
Didn't Object to His Creed.

The English language reminds me OF
some Of these typewriters and the
game of-whist. 1t looks mighty sim
pie, but the further you go along the
more complicated and swear provok
ing 1t is. We have oil heard Of the man
who told his sweetheart that before
marrying her he must confess that he
was somnambulist.
"Oh. ] don't mind that" said the
dear, sweet girl. I'VE are Presbyterian
ourselves. but we are not . bit nar-
EQN,"~LoulsYille Tlmear :. -
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-01-05

A fire In Japan is exciting. The Jap
anese seem to lose their beads COM
pletely in the presence Of the fire de-
mon. The people move from the houses
where the fire breaks out into the next,
then to another, and so on, until the
fire Is over. the united families moving
from house to house with great non
chalance. A man dancing on his roof
with n paper fire god is supposed to
avert the danger, and no man is more
surprised than he when. In spite of the
fire god. the house ignites, and in o
moment roof and man fall together
In three days the houses are rebuilt
and all traces of fire removed.