The Saint Paul globe., 1900-04-22
E19r. ADOOleg ON E2e. Sheldon S DeOsDaveg
BY P. p. DUNE.
Copyright, 1900 by Robert Howard Russell.

Il see.'' said Mr.. Dooley. "that tn la-ad
out in Kansas that thried to r-run a pa
per like what tn Lord wud r-run If He
had to live in Topeka. has thrun up tn
job"
Sure, I niver heerd iv him" said Mr..
Hannessy
well. 'twus this way with him." Mr..
Dooley explained. '.Ye see. he didn't
like tn looks iv tn newspapers. He got
tired iv r-readin' how many rows iv
plaits Mrs. Potter Palmer had on tn las
dhress she bought. an whether Mccoy
ern oughtn't TO go into tn heavyweight
class an fight Jeffereys. an he says, says
tn la-ad, This is no right readin' f'r tn
pure an passionless youth iy Kansas he
says. Give me- he says, "a chanst. an
III projooce tn kind iv organ that'd be-
got out in hiven, he says. Price cinta
COPY he says. 'fr sale be all news
dealers; FIR advertfsin' rates consult tn
cashier, he says. So a man in Topeka
that had newspaper. he says: I will not
be behlndhand,' he says, in histin' Kan
sa5 up fr IN its prisint low an irreiigious
position he says. I don't know how tn
inhabitants i've tn place We refer to is
fixed, he says, fr newspapers he SAYS
an nlver beerd iv anybody firm Kansas
home-stakn there he says. but if ye'n
attind to tn circulation iv thin parts.
he says, I'll see that tn paper is properly
placed in tn hands iv tn vile an wicked
iv this earth, where, he says, 'th' returns
ar-re more quick he says.
We'll, tn la-ad wint at it, an twas a
fine paper he made. Hogan was in here
tn other day with copy iv it an ]
r-read it. 1 haven't had such q Hthry
threat since 1 was a watchman on tn
canal FIR a week with nawthin' to r-read
but tn delinquent tax list an til upper
half iv a weather map Twas gran.
TIL editor. it seems, Hinnissy, wint into
tn editoryal rooms iv tn pa-aper an he
gathered tn force around him fr m theil
reg lar jobs III tn dhrug stores an says
he, Gentlemen, he says, tell me ye'el
plans FIR to enoble this here Christyan
publication f'r today!' he says.
'Well,'~ says tn horse reporther
they's a couple iv rabbits goin to sprint
around tn thrack at tn fair grouns,' he
says. I think 'twud be a good thing f'r
religion if ye'd lind me tin that I might
br-reak tn sin-thralled bookys that come
down here firm Kansas City FIR to skin
tn righteous, he says. No. says tn
editor he says, no horse racin' in this
paper he says. ''T1s tn roonation iv
tn young, an ye can't beat it,, he says
An you, fair-haired youth he says
what dye do that makes ye'er color so
good an ye'er eye so bright?' l., says
tn la-ad. am tn boy that writes tn
fightin' dope he says They Sc couple
iv good vans on at tn op'ra house to-
night. an if his splklets don't tin-can It's
like f1ndin' money in an OF coat that
'Fightin,' says tn editor, is crool an
onchristyan spoort, he says. Instead
iv chronic1tn' tn ruffyanism iv these mis-
guided wretches that weigh in at tn
ringside at lbs poun's, an see in
pa-aper 1 r-read in a barber shop tn
other day that Spikes gone away back
what's that I'm sayin? Niver mind.
Dye go down to tn home iv tn Rivrind
Aloysius Augustus Morninbnch an in
terview him on tn question iv mans CO.
operation with grace in conversion. Make
a nice chatty article about it an I'll give
ye copy iv wan iv me books will,
says tn la'ad, if he don't swing on me.
he says The editor thin addressed tn
staff: 'G;ntlemen.' he says, find that
tn wurruk ye'Ve been accustomed to