The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-11-03
THE HICKORY ELM CLUB.
Trouble with Grover Cleveland
Croker's Advice to Democrats.

way of Endorsement for want of time, but
1 say to you tonight that unless we can
establish to the satisfaction of a majority
OF the people the great Democratic principle
that the end justifes the means, We are
going to lose out in this contest and go
down in history as a party of the most
unsuccessful liars the world has ever SEEM
1 am reliably informed that the latest
campaign lie set afoat by our bureau OF
misinformation, now under the personal
control of Taggart and Croker, has been
mailed. 1 refer TO the statement sent OUT
said to come from Grover Cleveland, that
there would &c landslide 20 Bryan next
Tuesday. AS soon as Cleveland heard OF
ii, / am told, he seized a foBr-pound hand
hammer and with a double twenty-penny
barbed-wire-trust railroad spike nailed it
so hard that 1T Jared the knobs off Of the
bureau and upset thirteen Croker ice wag-
ons in the Tenderloin district. Listen TO
the language of Grover He says: The
whole thing, from beginning 10 end, is an
absolute lie, without the least foundation
or shadow of truth. L have never uttered
word to any human being that affords
the least pretext Tor such mendacious
Philadelphia Times TO this effect
Gentlemen, this is q deporable situa-
ton, to say nothing worse. Some of you
preston any human being, and say that
he may have said IL to lis bulldog OF some
unknown wretch from North Carolina, but
that won't go. The language must be taken
IN Its usual sense, and no pettifogging con-
struction will take away Its terrific force
and UNREASONABLE meaning. i have looked
ever the plowed ground of this campaign
with an eye single to the discovery of an
opportunity TO make a point that would
make vote for Organized Democracy this
fall, and L have utterly failed TO find one.
A therefore, N ha
that unless Mr.. Bryan will consent 10 re-
verse relation which he says ought to
exist by putting the dollar before the man.
instead OF having the man in front of the
dollar, our name will be mud"
Major Biff said he had understood that
when Tom Taggart got that $4,000 for In
diana that he had also got the consent of
Mr.. Bryan to place it before the man in
small sums wherever the man could be
1ound that NEEDED a patriotic or peclniary
stimulus. Peter j. Lummix said that was
his understanding also, and remarked that
In he found any of 1t in his front on cleo
ton day he would not feel that he was
bound to let it remain there If there was
no way of going around 1t without injustice
TO his family.
Philip Fungus took the floor at this point
and said: MIR. President a flood of light
has broken in on my intellect this evening
have learned what / never knew before
have followed the earnest and apparently
high patriotic course of William Jennings
| Bryan in this campaign, and have enjoyed
all the speeches he has made in the full
| faith that he was a noble examine of the
sincere and honest man. have listened
with satisfaction to his sermons from Bible
| texts and TO his eloquent tributes to great
moral principles. / was enthusiastic in the
support of the doctrine OF the consent of
| the governed, as expounded by him, and I
was delighted when he arraigned the Re
publican party before the bar of public ius-
tice, charged with the great moral offense
| of putting the dollar before the man. L be-
lieved' with him that cOmmercialism was a
4 second N re
| to the crime of imperialism. L believed
/ that Aguinaldo was greater patriot than
Washington and that al American
citizen could sympathize with and give
! aid and comfort TO rebels i'm the Phil
| ippines without being subjected to the
| charge of treason, as some of our people
| were when Lee was in the field with Grant
| on his trail red hot. But alasi my friends
fear that the political idol of my heart
has been thrown down and broken into fine
pieces"
| whats the matter with you, Mr.. Fun
gus?' inquired the president
| ''Oh. only this: 1 have become convinced
| from what / have heard here that BRYAN
is but the tool of the corruptest political
scoundrels on the face of Gods green earth.
and that while he is going about the coun-
| try preaching morality and talking about
| justice, liberty and freedom, these scoun-
| drels are preparing to thwart the will of
the people by buying up the riff-raff to vote
/ for him, and that when he becomes Presi-
| dent the government, for all practical pur-
poses. will be under their control. Gentle
men. 1 am as good Jeffersonian Democrat
| as there is in this club, but can't swallow
| everything that wears the Democratic
| label. L believe that Bryan knows the VIII
1 famous character of his chief manager as
| well as Mark Hanna knows 1t. | believe
| he knows that the $4,000 now being dis
| tributed in Indiana will be used for corrupt
| and unlawful purposes ct the polls, and
| therefore believe that Bryan is colossal
| hypocrite, unworthy of the support of the
ms N he vI.,t,
You are allowing your temper to get
| away with you, Mr.. Fungus. and it will
| be the duty of the chair to call you down.
| You may be right in your estimate of Mr.
| Bryan on general principles, but you are
| not called on to say how any member OF
this club ought to vote. 1t will be suffi-
| cient for you to give vent to your spleen
| and let ii go at that.
! II was not advising any one how to
| vote" replied Mr.. Fungus. II merely said
that internal political hypocrite did not
| deserve the support of the meanest mar
| in this club.
81 know what you said" responded the
| chair, land we will let the subject droI
for the time being. Before we adjourn
| want to call attention TO the following in.
structions issued by the leading Democrat
| of the United States, to wit: My advice &c
Democratic voters the country over is tC
congregate about the polling places on tbs
evening of election day, count noses, and
them if the election returns for Bryan DOM
tally with their count, to go into the poll
charge Of the returns into the street.-Rich-
ard Croker.
Colonel Snort will take notice of these
instructions and be ready to carry then
out next Tuesday evening"
Colonel Snort-lt occurs TO me, Mr.
President that this is a game that two car
| play at, and il the Republicans find ou
that we intend to mob the election board:
| they will be there in full force TO take Z
hand in the proceedings, and some of u:
| may get hurt And when we come out o.
the scrap we may not have as many noses
| as the count showed when went in.
have never been much in favor of tryin,
| to force things in this way since the battl,
| of Pogues run at indianapolis during tn,
| civil war, when we undertook to releas,
| tionally restrained of their liberty as rebe
| prisoners of war at Camp Morton. 1 an
willing to organize our forces and make
bluff but do not think ii advisable to en-
ter the polling places without an invita-
ton from the other side.
II remember Pogue's run very we'll.
said Captain Skidmonk. Il was electe'
captain of the company commanded by
| pusillanimous vote, but before L got m.
| men formed when we got TO the Cniol
depot / was surreptitiously rushed into tn
| mud at the bottom of the run, where los
a single-barreled pistol that cost me tw
dollars. and | never seed hide nor hair o
II for twenty years. Ii was dug UP on
day about twelve years ago, and have go
| ii at home now among my collection o
| recollections of the Democratic campaigl
against Oliver =. Morton. You fellers ca
foler MIR. Croker's advice If you want to
| hut you can't count on me-
.xasr.