Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-03-09
THE TRUTHFUL MAN,
And What Happened to Him in n
Walk Up Street.


A man who, in following the usaees of
good society and of diplomacy, had always
lied pleasantly and sweetly when the
conversation or the occasion demanded that
the exact truth should not be told was one
day stricken with remorse at his failure to
live up to biblical and parental teachings
He resolved, at any cost, to reverse him
self for one short half hour call a spade a
spade" and not "a useful oblong instru-
ment of husbandry,'' to every person he
knew in a walk on the north side of F
street from 18th to 18th
This required nerve, so, after swallow
ing lot of liquid nervine. he linked arms
with a useful friend known to us all as
Some Temerity, and let her go.
At the starting post he met Miss Inane
We all know Miss Inane. She blooms all
seasons of the year as luxuriantly and as
ubiquitously as Mr. Fresh.
My dear Miss Inane." cried this bold
man. how thoroughly tired l am of meet
eng you on F street. Do you prance here
all day? Can't the dry shavings in your
empty head for once direct your big, fiat
Chicago feet on some other street? You
think the men admire you because they
look at you? Little fool! They are looks
OF ridicule and not of admiration. Go home
On your way thither search the roadside
Tor grains of common sense, which other
people with surplus have thrown away.
You are fright.
w LS, MIS- SelllIlS Via, now bored L
to shake your chubby, clammy, No. II rs
hand, to be sure! OF course, you are rich
but don't 1 know how your husband got
his wealth. digging over the refuse on the
scows of the street cleaning department
in New York? Your wits are about as
clear and pellucid as New Orleans mo-
lasseS. in spite of your carriage and big
mansion. And fat, oh! SO very, very fat
You are growing! That really pleases you?
OF course, I'm pleasant young man. L
will always cross the street when 1 see
you coming hereafter. Goodbye, so charm
ed, I'm sure, good-byer'
CThe stout lady scratched his name off
her invitation list when she reached home)
MY lord. you're sight" said the truth
telling man to the chop suey young man
at the corner of 18th street Your face
looks like raw beef sprinkled with Spanish
fly extract You have been on a no-mis-
take-drunk this time. Bum is too small
a word for your face. And your hands are
shaking like an old mans. Go to the liquor
cure sanitarum by lightning express, or
you'll go to - well, you know where"
(The chop suey young mans return re-
marks are unprintable)
You old skinflint, you old grasping Shy
lock, owning lots of houses, yet all the
time whining poverty and shouting calam-
ity. You can't build houses up above, and
way!'
CThe landlord raised his rent the next
monthly
And here is little Mr.. Bad Pun, Why.
little duffer? Don't you know you are a
bore of the rankest sort? Stop! No, you
can't wiggle out Of my grasp. yet. I will
hold you tight, as 1 get off some of your
own bad puns on yourself. How do you
like that, and that, and that? Makes you
sick? Good! That's right. throw up. other
people are equally nauseated by you, Now
goi
And you, you drunken workman, who |
is always 'a-losin' me job for nothin'.' as
you say. but because you're always drink |
ing. OF course. the boss, or the foreman. |
or the bad weather, or anybody, or any,
thing else, is to blame, but your own worth |
less. rascally self! How do you like that |
kick? Hurts? Here's another and a good |
one-up you go and down you come. bangr'
On the 18th street block he met the Com /
ceited Ass, the Shallow Society Youth and /
Equally Superine Girl. the Wifebeater and /
Mrs. Gadabout. to all of whom he was /
equally pleasant and truthful.
AS he turned the corner he ran into the |
arms (hguratively, of course), of the sweet /
girl. his sweet girl and the only sweet girl |
In Washington to him. His half hour was 4
up by five minutes.
OF course, she looked up and then down /
and then around, pulled her skirt tighter /