davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16
Uncle Jabss and The I, Despoiler Of
oMN;ASe'A1A1A1'A0AOAOA

hN PEAKING of bees" said Deacon
y Todgers, reminiscently, to the
crowd at the corner grocery store,
did any of you ever hear of Uncle
Jabez and his adventure with the
bear. or rather with the drunken bees
and the old bear?"
None of the boys had, SO the dea-
con began: "Uncle Jabez came over
to my house spell ago, and blamed If
he wasn't more kinds of a bunged-up
man than any / had ever seen before.
His neck was scratched, his arm was
in a sling, and all over his face and
hands were marks like bee or hornet
stings. What particular form of at
tempted suicide have you taken up for
your latest fad?' inquired.
"'I've been trying to catch bear,'
growls Uncle Jabez, like man out OF
humor with the world.
"'And did you trap a nest of hor-
nets instead? Or have you been in a
wrestling match with buzz saw?'
at amt any laughing matter
sneered Uncle Jabez. Wildcats, bears
and drunken bees are 'sponsible for
this wreck
''Well, 1 was mighty curious to
know how one little old man could
get mixed up with that combination,
and after awhile he opened up his
heart.
Don't tell me that q bear, espe-
cially an old Pike county bear, can't
reason out things and plan how to get
out of a scrape,' says Uncle Jabez,
sorrowfully. You know that old bear
which has been troubling people here
abouts for months? Well, that par
ticular animal is cut out for bank
burglar, and good one at that. It's
my belief that mistake was made
when he was born a bear. This fall,
after had lost three valued pigs and
some honey, started out to make a
business of hunting that bear.
caught his trail one morning and
started in all the innocence of my
heart, thinking would come back at
night with the skin of the knowingest
old bear that ever lifted pig. My
dog followed the trail all right until
we came to one of those little oil
runs. and there we lost it. The dog
nosed about for a long time, but il
was no good. was clean puzzled
The ground. was hard, and there
wasn't a hole and scarcely bush
near, and how an old bear dog like
mine could lose plain trail was
more than 1 could understand. Al
last we gave up and came home, 9
saddened and wiser dog and man
That evening while was pondering
over the problem, all of a sudden al
idea came to me.
1T amt the dogs fault says t.
myself. That dogs been trained te
chase bears, not oil barrels. That old
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

Az American water hyacinth which
il not infrequently an obstruction to
navigation in southern rivers has been
successfully killed on the Melpomene
canal, New Orleans, by a chemical
spray.
Treatment of soil with lime hae
been suggested to the Paris academy
of science as a possible remedy for
malaria, as it has been noticed that
countries having a surface rich in lime
are free from this malady.
A drill which will bore through
solid rock at the rate of 3H inches per
minute, and through a mixture of rock
and schist at the rate of AZ inches
per minute, has been at work in the
Olpa Arsberg mine district, Austria.
DIR. Michaelis, an Austrian authori.
ty on cements, considers that mix.
ture of Portland cement, volcanic tufa
and granulated blast furnace Stag is
better than Portland cement alone
where structures are to be exposed to
salt water.
Some old quarries of oriental ala
baster have recently been discovered
in the neighborhood of Monte Amiata
near Siena. 1t now seems very prob
able that the beautiful columns oi
that material in the interior of the
Cathedral of Siena came from those
quarries. The quarries are about tc
be worked.
The Rhodesia telegraph system, in
cluding transcontinental line, con.
sists of 2,635 miles of lines, with 3,16;
miles of wires, says the Western Elec
trician. The police telephone system
consists of 251 miles of telephone; ex
changes have been opened at Sails
bury and Bulawayo. There are 62 tel
egraph Offices in Rhodesia.
A Cleveland engineer has invented {
machine for the automatic manufac
ture of steel balls. The machine auto
matically forms and polishes stee
balls, which are entirely spherical, a
the rate of 65,vOO day. Cubical piece.
of hot steel, each of which is to b,
made into a ball, are fed into the toI
of the machine, one at time.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16

SNSAGS SAbEL AT EN-
bear just trailed along the oil run,
and after n few yards of that he
would smell like refinery, not like
the sly, marauding, old pig-stealing
bear he really is. He may be mighty
cunning bear, but after he has exper-
imented a couple of times with your
Uncle Jabez' intellect he'll repent of
stealing them pigs.
So the next day started out with
two of my well-trained dogs instead
of one. The first dog 1 let take up
the trail to the oil run. Then started
dog number two on the trail after il
left the run. After the dog got on to
the fact that it was a willy old bear.
and not an oil barrel, he was expected
to run down, he went along at fast
clip. ! was actually sorry for the
bear.
Petroleum bears may fool the or
dinary run of hunters says to my.
self, but this benighted bear will
soon realize Uncle Jabez is on his
track. An easy death In the best that
poor old bear can hope for.
"'But 1 didn't need to be wasting
sympathy on that bear. / needed it
all for myself. That bear understood
wildcat nature as well as he did the
use of oil runs. The minute Mr.. Bear
realized those dogs had caught his
trail again he made tracks right for
= hole where a mother wildcat and q
couple of her kittens lived. The bear
ran right up to the mouth of the hole
and then swerved to one side. This
routed out the mother wildcat, and
when my dogs reached the hole she
was right on hand and looking for
trouble in big punches. A wildcat
with litter of young ones amt the
sweetest-tempered pet in the world,
My dogs were after bear, but Mrs,
Wildcat thought it was her precious
kittens the dogs were looking for, and
the second the dogs got near out she
pushed 4 mother wildcat i tia
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16
MARCH AND APRIL

Are the Most Disagrseahls Months -
the Year in the North.
In the South. they are the pleasantest and
most agreeable The trees and shrubs put
forth their buds and flowers; early veg
etables and fruits are ready for eating, and
In fact all nature seems to have awakened
from its winter sleep The Louisville & NASH
vile Railroad Company reaches the Garden
round-trip tickets to all principal towns In
Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia and West Flor
ida at almost half rates. Write for particu-
lars of excursions to p. Sid. Jones, d. p A.,
incharge Of immigration, Birmingham, Ala.
or Geo. p. Horner, d. p. A., st. Louis, Mo.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16

turns of the past are being super
seded by the results of profound study
and practical experimentation. Here
tofore we have had educated farmers
who knew no more of the fundamental
principles of agriculture than q jew
ish haberdasher. Many of them could
read Caesars De Bello Calico, or the
Iliad, in the original tongues, did not
know that nitrogen was chiefly re-
sponsible for the dark green color in
growing wheat which so delighted
their eyes. They could demonstrate
the problem of the lights" but
could not calculate a balanced ration
for old Brindle. They might know
the political history of the country
from Alexander Hamilton to william
Mckinley without knowing the differ
ence between a Flanderian escutcheon
and Mexican brand on broncho.
They were educated in all the modern
sciences, hut didn't know that chem
istry had anything to do with feeding
cattle, or nourishing corn or cotton.
But the agricultural colleges are
changing all that, and are turning cut
farmers who can give a reason for ag-
r.cultural processes, who can tell what
kind of food is needed by COW or a
stalk of corn; how to fatten beef
or field at the least possible cost.
These colleges are not turning loose
enough such farmers, but it is not the
fault of. the colleges; but the num-
Der who leave their alma mater
for the farm is increasing every year,
and every such farmer becomes a
teacher, with all his neighbors for pu-
pills. There has been a wonderful inn
provement in recent years, and there
is room for more. The world must
have farm products; consumers are in.
creasing faster than producers, and
the natural law of supply and demand
will enhance the value of agricultural
products and the importance of the
man who produces them. The south
is now building factories, and this will
remove from the farms those who can
best be spared, for good farmers will
not drive spinning mules, nor tie their
teams with weavers' knots nor hitch
them to weavers' sleighstvith weavers'
harness. Those who leave the farms
for the factories will become consunl-
ers of farm products and will increase
the demand more than they decrease
the supply. So long as people must
have farm products or starve, and Sd
long as consumers increase more rap.
idly than producers, SO long and .ie
continually must farming increase ~
Importance. Men educated in agricut
tural science will find their chief de
light in putting their Knowledge III
practice and finding such work inter.
est.ng, pleasant and profitable, and
endowed with degree of personal
liberty and independence unknown in
any other business, they will continue
to farm and attract to the farm Others
who are likc-minded-Texas Farm ant
kanch.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16
Hoods
Sarsaparilla

81 had that tired feeling all the time.
Was as tired in the morning when l
rose as l was when went to bed.
took four bottles of Hoods Sarsa-
parilla and it made me feel like q new
man. could work hard and not feel
tired. I recommend Hoods to all
who need a good medicine" A. r.
CHARTER, Creston, Iowa.
Noodle sarsaparIlIa is sold By all drug
Rista Get Hoods and ouly Hoods.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16
That
Tired Feeling

just AS surely indicates thas
the blood is lacking in vitality
and the elements of health a.
does the most obstinate humor
that the vital fluid is full OF
impurities. Hoods Sarsaparilla
cures that tired feeling by en-
riching and vitalizing the blood.
creating a good appetite and in
vigorating every organ OF the
body.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16
Victory Assured,

he was a candidate for aldermanic hon.
ors.
"a speech! A speech!" yelled the
crowd.
In response to the popular clamor he
mounted an empty beer keg and said:
Boys, l thank you. All hands step in
side and have something"
1t was brief specimen of oratory, but it
touched the spot.--Chicago Evening News.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16
THE FUTURE OF FARMING.
wha: the Agricultural Colleges are
Doing for the Advance
ment of Farmlng.

Farming, as profession, under
present and prospective conditions,
must inevitably become more and
more attractive to right-minded men.
The crude methods and mea9er re-
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16
The Proper Response.

Mamma-Why did you let him kiss you!
Daughter-Well, he was so nice; he asked
me-
"But haven't / told you you mrst learn
to say Mop"
That's what did say. He asked me II
I'd be very angry if he kissed me."-Philar
delphia Press.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16

He-"H were poor would you still Iowa
me?" She-"Why ask? Do II not love you
noww He-"Yes, but riches have wings.
To-day / am wealthy, to,morrow ! may be
with love, dear. To-day love, tomorrow
who can tellr-Pick- -Me-Up.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16

The Makers Of Carter's Ink Says
1--WE can't make any better ink than we do:
we don't know how to. We can make poorer
ink, but we won't" Carters Ink is the best.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16

40
Pounds

S10EARAlRS. PANyklxAAe-
y was very thin and my
frSends Ab0W0ibf ! was II
consumption
0SHad 0onfxnssaI kboad.
0Okbes, haoAtaokbe and fall
AnO 0f u6osus, ana my eyos
were affected
"EVes.y one soGkood AboSv
p00sfy I looked and ! was
advised 6o take lydia &.
PInkhans's Vegetable
Compound
zone bof11e relieved
llaok and after faNkAn0 oAukbf
bodice asss now q ASoalkIby
sNonsanI have gained ID
weight from 90 p0sxBdS q
1907 everyone asike what
makes mo 90 shoesf, p
MRS. A. 10LLE. 1915 Alx-
ton Sf.s PkbAiadalpkbka Rhs
Mrs.. RfsNnbans has hlffv
thousand euoh letters
from grateful women
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-06-16


awake, and the livelier they got the
madder they were. Finally most of
those who had been lying on the floor
were fully awake and began to buzz
around the shed. All of a sudden one
bee that was evidently feeling espc-
cially ugly few at me. Then all the
bees seemed to think | was the author
of their misery, and the whole swarm
settled down. to the job of making me
unhappy. They succeeded right up to
the limit, too, for by the time es-
capped from that shed was stung in
so places. The bees, although they
had been reused up by the water l
had thrown on them, were feeling too
languid to chase me. ] hunted for
the water bucket. When / finally
lifted my face out of it and had
opened my bunged-up eyes with con-
siderable difficulty, 1 saw a sight
which added pang to my misery.
There on the edge of the clearing was
that old bear. He was sitting on his
launches, fairly hugging himself with
his front paws and chuckling to him.
self at the fix was in. My gun was
over by the shed. BY the time l could
get it the bear was gone, and all that
was left for me was my mournful
thoughts. !
That blamed old bear,' said Uncle
Jabez, concluding his sad story, has
| fooled me three times, but / am 60
| ing to have my revenge Il it takes all
winter. No big black bear can DAM
age and insult me and hope to live to
good old age
II tried to console Uncle Jabez," !"
concluded Deacon Todgers. Them
bees blamed you for getting them
drunk told him, but il didn't COM
fort him.
That's the worst of it, he replied,
| ip sort of saddened way. MY
character is gone, even with my
bees. IN. X. Sun.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-03-07
The Patent Record

CFrom Baltimore News. Feb. eth, 1909
The current issue Of the Patent Rec
ord. a journal devoted 10 the interests
OF American inventors and published in
this city, is a publication OF attractive
ness and interest. Among the articles is
one on The Hottest Heat and Electric
Furnaces" by Sturgis B. Rand. and "A
Month Among the Advertisers" by
Charles Austin Bates. There is z large
amount Of news and information reiat-
ing to Inventions: also a number of
valuable departments. such as one Civ
ing points about the sale Of inventions,
legal information for inventors, and the
like. The Patent Record has instituted
an amateur Photographic prize contest,
and also a contest of ideas. In the lat
ter instance the person who furnishes
the best idea will receive a free trip to
the Paris Exposition.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-03-07
The WORLD OF SPORT

Salt Lake. Physical Director Augustus
left nothing undone to make it in every
way interesting and entertaining. There
were several new and original wrinkles
sprung, and the work was from first to
last well deserving of the generous ap-
plause bestowed upon it by the 800
spectators present.
While all of the athletes who attend
the gym" participated in the pro-
gramme, there was some especially
good work done by a few individual
members. Johnson and Emery were
the stars on the parallel bars, Clark
on the horizontal bar, and Z. Z. Smith
on the rings. Some good work in
tumbling was done by Augustus. Par
sons and Emery, and by some of the
younger attendants Of the gym who
are members Of the intermediate
classes, Will Pike. Earl Richards n and
Harold Young. The younger boys ols-
played skill and agility that was high
ly creditable both to them and 10 their
instructor, Mr.. Augustus.
One of the most interesting features
on the programme was the competitive
high diving by the classes. Most Of
the gymnssts stayed with the contest
until it reached five feet, and then they
all dropped out except Johnson, Par
sons, Emery and Cheshire. Five feet
was the record heretofore. and it WASH t
expected that anyone would go far
above it. But they did. All Of the
quartette but Emery went over the bar
at five feet two inches. at which the
crowd cbeered and yelled.
The greatest volume of applause
came, however when Johnson and Cne-
shire went over five feet four inches
They couldn't make it when it was
raised two inches higher, but they had
already done all kinds OF funny things
with the record that was previously es-
tablished. The feat was particularly
creditable to Cheshire. who could walk
under the bar and have two inches Of
atmosphere between it and his head.
Several good interludes were intro
duced in the regular programme by way
of advertisement.
"Stork" Kenyon, than whom there
are none funnier, was there, dressed IN
a clowns costume. That tells the whole
story of the amusement that was pro
vided. At scarcely any time during the
exercises was there a straight face
among the spectators. "Stork" had
them laughing all the time, and when
they quit long enough to get real ser
iOus he started them going again. Au-
gUstus also introduced some club
swinging that was the real thing in the
poetry of motion. The bar drill at the
opening Of the programme was pretty
exhibition of the training that the mem-
bers of the classes have received. The
carnival was, in every way. huge
success, and everyone connected with
it has reason TO feel proud.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-03-07
RIO GRANDEs MEET.
Held an Enthusiastic Conclave and
Fix Lineup.

- AA4AAE-uB y.
The Rio Graude nine held an enthu-
Siastlc meeting last evening in the
rooms Of the stock exchange. The
plans for the coming season were dis
DD.-el ami The lineup of the team WAS
inquired out Several Of the men are to
n' imported and the whole aggrega-
li"N IS @" bee one Of craCkeriacks. Jack
AelN'Nt was elected temporary can
tam. ana was instructed 20 get the
men 01i JH active practice as soon as
possible
The men figured on at the meet
..N l.- MS follows Walter Scare
ytch Nr.uigke. !. T.. Rankin tButtel. w
e.. G-.tS.H tChlcdE1l. Sandy NcFar-
ana. Nike Donovan DetroiD Jim
eiaham. 81. Naryau Pocateno). Earl
garulH.-r. Jack Alien. Brig smith
l..he Osborn and Ed Plume santa
Jiizl- 9Th. pitchers Will probably be
n. 9. S1elarl. Cls TAYLOR of Denver.
ana N.'1-f.. ut last years Pocatello
The o-Eau.z--0n az the state league
vas u'~ lS-t with yigor. and the
aillii.ls opinion was that il should
.'IIl,i Dan Hickey, Walter Scare.
s"lN Me.u'eN' and James T. Fulton
"li'i-''j Ill committee to attend
-.. ..N- .13t is 60 be held in this
n '.-.l.-as NIGHT 90 organize the
-Ne. TIN. r"ur-s. natives from the
l'ali.S nave already been chosen.
hEppiuEar and El5da~ arc 10 -
s'at the short Line II. Rurnes e.. ,
MT. down from Park CITY. and t-o
sentative from Ogden are To- no
l-'ll, Nnun... Naighgr and 1u1ver
manager Lake Uf Walkers fsI5 ,,.;ii
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-03-07
CHARLEY HOY COMES HOME
SAYS HE DIDN'T INTEND TO
RUN AWAY.
While He Was In Wells, New, His
Partners Asked For a Receiver
ship.

Charley Hoy. the most popular Chi
naman in Salt Lake, has returned after
a several weeks absence, and is hot
on the trail of those business associ-
ates who have made grave accusations
against him while he has been away.
Hoy has trouble every time he leaves
town. Il will be remembered that he
came back from san Francisco last
fall 10 find that his wife. the far famed
All Goo. had been stolen and put in
the Rescue Home.
The affair caused a great sensation in
this city at the time, and the petite
Guck Ying-that was her school girl
name-was finally sent away to Cali
fOrnia-
Now, Charley Hoy, merchant Of
Plum alley. and employment agent Of
the Rio Grande Western, comes back
from Wells, New, where railroad bust
ness had called him, to find that his
partners in the mercantile business
Wing Dun and others, are petitioning
the district court for a receiver on the
ground that Hoy has run off in search
Of his wife's seducer with several hun
dred dOllSrs of the cOmpany's money.
Hoy desires il distinctly understood
that he mas not run away, and had no
intention Of running away with any
funds. He was in Nevada employing
section hands for the Western.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-03-07
Railroad Notes.

J. G. DoOlittle. travelling agent for
the Frisco" line, returned from his
Denver jaunt yesterday
P. P Shelby. general manager or
the Pacific & Idaho Northern, returned
to Weiser, Ida, yesterday.
Ed Test, representing the Ontario
Forwarding company, was in town yes
terday drumming up business.
J. o. GoOdselI. travelling passenger
agent for the Union Pacific, left for
Montana points yesterday in order to
look into H. NJ. Clay's new territory.
Contracting Agent ". c. Evans OF
the Northwestern turned his smiling
face ChicagOward yesterday. and Zion
viii know him no more for the space
Of two weeks.
General Superintendent A z WeIby
and Chief Engineer E. J. Yard Of the
Rio Grande Western took a trip up 10
Park City yesterday. TO view the grad
ing operations Ell route
James R Christian, for the last eight
years commercial agent Of the South
ern Pacific, has been appointed assist
ant general freight agent. with head
quarters at Galveston
HOyt Sherman, general agent OF the
Colorado Southern, leaves for an ex-
tended trip to Oregon points today. In
look into the proposed Cape Nome ex-
OGES
J. J. Devereux, travelling freight and
passenger agent for the Santa Fe. yes
terday followed IN the wake OF the
railroad mems contingent TO attend the
sheepmen's convention at Boise. He
viii journey even INTO Spokane ere he
returns
According TO the Railway Age, the
Rio Grande Western has placed an or
der with the Pullman company for one
cafe passenger car. two combination
passenger and baggage cars, one bag
gage car, two excursion cars, two first
class passenger coaches and one bag
gage and mail car.
The Rock Island has raised the
wages OF the brakemen employed on
its entire system 81 per month. the
new schedule to go into effect April l.
Recently the wages Of the section
hands were boosted. and it is the in
tention of the company to raise the
salaries from A to Z.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-03-07
Two INFANT TRAVELLERS
THREE AND FoUR-YEAR-oLD
TOTS COMING TO ZION.
Infant Children of John Fuller En-
bark on Journey From Nova
Scotia 10 Salt Lake City.

Probably two Of the youngest travel
ers journeying together that have en-
barked on a transeontinental trip are
scheduled TO leave Boston for Salt
Lake City March Il On that date two
little tots. aged and years, re-
Spectively, are scheduled TO arrive in
the Hub from Nova Scotia unaccOm-
panied by a friend or relative. The in
fant progidies are the children Of John
Fuller. who recently came TO this city
from the extreme northeastern British
colony in search of a healthful eli
mate Mr. Fuller liked Utah so well
that he and his wife concluded to stay
here and send for their children, who
were left behind in charge Of a rela-
tive
General Passenger Agent T. J. Clark
yesterday booked the two little mites
through 10 Salt Lake as indicated. with
the assurance that the YOUNGSTERS
would be well cared for en- route. and
landed safe and sound in Zion on
schedule time, lunch baskets and all.