The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-10-05
SPINNING WHEEL.
VEST POCKET FODDER.

~~~>>>>~>>Q
VEST POCKET FODDER.
Some tinkeriny army surgeons
Were at banquet seated,
"h 'pn,. tw nS rhampa .:;1 and sherry
1t WAS choice suggestion.
tondense the army ration
On little pills and tabules
Feed the soldiers Of the nation!
NO h"ef, no pork. no Coffee
\ tablets much the thinner:
just swallow number one and fonr--
And that's the brave boys dinner!
Then for the prancin$ army Steed.
y" nay. no corn, so WaStefEl
IhtNlI lind condensed excelsior
is n"at"r and more tasteful!
Indianapolis News.
In til" larger ]apanrS" cities many
Sh"lkttprrs have applied to sign paint.
or who has acquired that dangerous
thing, L little knowledge Of English,
without drinking deep at tn" l';,ri:i.
spring. Tor ''$hinylt" tina, shall express
to the world in Western characters 1!l>
nature Of thr:r business. Th> aSs::~an>,>
Ct these sigh painters is not mat cl.h u:
their familiarity with l2iiS, ,n :>.n'l!inv,
rrnsi,u< 1irn. moods and lenses and 1h-
I, ~u't j. often amuSin" IN the extreme
20" instance. one Is anAZt'' ~ So" III
=, :ln \ ii IN that boldly Announces
\ TAILOR CUT TO ORDER.
-\ru,hrr one Informs US
PHOTOGRAPHER E\ECIVEl, ,!',LE
\ hattie: in Kobe announces: TIA, lie >,i1>
GENERAL SORT STRAW HAT,
"litl another informs the public that he is >;
DEALER Observation-Disclosures KAN'ilA'r
WILL MAKE TO ORDER.
Snmr OF the signs really Seem 10 suggest
n' ed"d English words. like
RtN'HERY AND PROVISIONS.
Why not "butchery:" Another tells us that
he deals III
SOFT GOODS.
Hc does not mean 'Sott drinks" either, hut
soft WOODEN goods. baker tells us that
he keeps
BAKETRY.
Another sign which l daily passed for near
~ week told the world that within dwell
THE INVENTOR OF KOBE.
though what he invented. or when, or whv
deponent saith not. a merchant in Osak;
has hung out his shngle with SlDertluouS
articles, as follows
PATENT THE CHARCOAL PATENT
THE POCKET STOVE.
The cOnjunctionS are almost as difficult
for the average sign painter to MASTER
consequently he sometimes tells the world
Of Il
HOUSE SHIP AND PAINTER.
OK lua( Wltnln there is Tor sale
SHOTTINGAN POWDER AND
A glance ut the rifles, shotguns and pow
der horns within makes the sign plain
The Century.
1t was in Edinburgh, and she was
pretty and sweet and poetic, and he was
young and mSchievous. They were sit
ting out on the vcranda in the moon
light. and she grew ethereal "Oh. how
n,
she cooed; Ito be famed by the languor-
NllS perfumes OF the roses and to be
kissed by the soft airs from the South"
Then he kissed her and she grew ndig-
nant. 'How dare you?' She almost
Sobbe1l. "Why. I'm soft heir from the
South he replied, contritely She didn't
say anything when he kissed her again
London Tit-RitS
The peril of the moment is the "Smah
IIOnOrS" men. When Artcmus Ward
was in London he had the following con-
vrrsation with the landlord Of the mn 1T
which he was staying:
is the strange being III -\merican?'
He iS.'
a Etncral:''
~, : ::
"A maior?'
- not major.
"A captain?''
lie is not.
"\ot even that! Thcn---'lcciSivey-he
is not an American
On the continent they now employ q
similar process to discover whether Il
visitor is an Engli>hman.
lis the stranger Il IL. e.. Il. :?
"\O.'
lis he X. G. S. ~"
is he X; G. I. E?"
He is not
is he X. c. V. or"
NO."
is he a X: G. NJ. c."
He is not
met even a. X. e. u. G.: Then h, is
certainly no; an 1nyiiShman. ~ london
Truth.
Here is a Georgia boys composition
ON the trouble in China: "Chinna is q
land Of heathenS that would ruther wor-
ship Il wooden god that grins at you than
20 to church am pay pew rent. My pa
was a missionary in China When the
Boxers commenced to box they Knocked
him out in the first round, an he lost
three fingers an brand new hymn book
with bookmark in it. Then he coined
home. He has still got = legs an arms
left, though the Mission board told him
that he lost his head. lie says home
missions take the cake. '--Atlanta Con-
stitution.
Augustus Thomas iss,one of the very
few American ulaywrightS who can do
himself credit when called upon for an
impromptu speech. Mr.. Thomas rep,l-
taticn for speeches Is. however, greater
among his circle OF intimate friends than
elsewhere. An old newspaper man who
knew Mr.. Thomas in Kansas City tells
the following tale illustrative Of this
point:
"When the Warder Grand Opera
house in Kansas City was first built
Booth and Barrett were billed as the
opening attraction. The contract re-
quired that the theater be opened ON q
certain day and heavy cash penalty
was provided for each days delay. In
spite of this the building was far from
ready for the first night, but to avoid
the penalty IL was decided. to open at ali
events.
"Fircs were built in the basement to
warm the house, and tarDauIin was
stretched above to serve as roof. One
set OF scenery was all that could no
found. and at the last moment it was
remembered that speech of aDo]ogv
was due to the audience.