The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-10-21
Fun Of the AYo d.

run OF the We d.
In a Kew Bridge tram last week. says |
the London Mail. small Boy was CD |
served 10 be suddenly agstated, but Ie- |
gained his self-control after a few mo-
ments- Soon after the conductor a2- |
peared and asked for fares When ne /
stood before the small boy there was a |
slight pause and the pas sengers were sur I
pr.sed to hear the following:
"Pleathe charge ii to my papa: I've
thwallowed the money
Es e
friend OF Mr. GiFhert's. an actor. was
playing for the first time ffieu,t role. |
and his success or failure in il was a |
matter of vital importance TO his future |
reputation. After the sesond act G Inert !
went behind the scenes. fully reah ing
that in a kindly word OF syEnpathetic
criticism he brought hope or despair 10
the actor. He could not resist his own
cleverness, and seeing that his friend
was in a profuse perspiratien. merely
remarked. How well your skin acts"
and passed on, without further COM
ment. BY morning the whole Of Lon
don had heard the jest and smiled so
broadly over II that il was some time
before sufficient gravity could te found
10 recognize the artists masterpiece.
ss ss
On one occasion. while addressing a
meeting, Mr.. Gladstone was repeatedly
interrupted-sy an individual who alter
mated loud outlaws with the imitati n
of a dogs howls. The speaker inquired
the name of this fellow, and was told
that he was a certain John Larf
'fMr. Larf." he said, raising his voice.
Our friend Goldsmith clearly had you
in view when he said:
1.-The watch-dog's voice that bay'd ths
whispering wind,
And the loud Larf that spoke the va
cant mind"
HE said that. did he?" cried Larf as
he turned around and struck a little
man who was in the crowd a severe
blow over the head. q nd i was only at
ter a violent rough-and-tum0le, ard much
vituperative language. that Mr.. Larf
was convinced that the man he had as
sauited, and whose name was Goldsmith,
was not the gentleman referred 10 BY
Mr.. Gladstone.
Here is an amusing story apropos OF
the German autumn maneuvers: A little
old woman, living in an out-of-the-way
hamlet in the Harz Mountains and know
ing nothing of soldering and militar.sm
happened to pass an outpost early one
number of his company-7. At dusk
she passed the place again. and again
the number on the soldiers shoulder was
II. Imagining that soldiers, like con-
victs go individually by numbers, she
hobbled to her cottage at her best speed
and presently came back with a wooden
chair, which she placed beside the yoUng
warrior saying: There, now. you can
sit down a bit. you poor creature. It Is
bFrra 20 Let efa nd hn al
same spot all day long. Your busine
can be done sitting just as well as
standing IN come for my chair later
on" Before the sentry could explain
she had slipped away.
&c sg
One of the stories that the late Sena-
tor Palmer was fondest of telling had
to do with an aged gentlewoman bearing
the same name as himself who lived
somewhere down on the eastern shore
of Virginia, in the county where Ser atcr
Palmer's grandfather was born. one of
the senator's Washington friends hap
peued TO meet the old lady down there
and asked her IL she were not a kins-
woman of his. She did not know, but
thought perhaps she might be- The gen
tleman was Of Virginian descent was he
not, and in the United States senate?
Yes she was quite sure he was kins-
man.
WAS he in the army?" she asked
Yes" answered the senator's friend.
"he was in the army and general"
The old lady was positive that he was
a relative.
But" went on the friend. "he was
general in the Union army.
The old lady's face fell. but she rallied
Well she said. you know there's
black sheen in every family"
&c sg
At the time of Colonel Cody's advent
into the capital OF Germany the old En-
peror William was entertaining there
three kings of smaller Germanic powers
The royal gentlemen were very much in
terested in the Bun&o Bill exhibitions.
and Colonel Cody was the recipient OF
many favors from the emperor himself.
One feature Of the performance is the
exhibition of the antiqusted Deadwood
coach containing passengers who are at
tackled by Indians and finally rescued
by cowboys.
The Kaiser asked TO be allowed. TO
ride in this vehicle with mis- royal guests
and to participate in this interesting ex-
perience. The request was Of course
granted, and when the coach was furi-
ously assailed by howling Indians It's
inmates were as usual saved by gal ant
cowboys.
After 1t was over. and as the royal
party was descending from the coach,
the emperor remarked:
Colonel Cody. / do not suppose this 10
the first time that you have ever held
four kings"
NO. your majesty" returned the
quick-witted scout; blu. this Is the first
time / ever held four kings and a royal
joker at the same time"
gg Rg
Great men often have not only the
quality Of observation-disclosures. but sort
OF simplicity OF intelligence which might
be called foOlishness in people known 10
be less gifted than they SIR VIII an
Vernon HarcCurt. who was cha ucellor
OF the Exchequer in the late Liberal
ministry in England. and who Is beyond
question highly gifted man and able
statesman, tells 2 story Of this kind Of
simplicity al his owr expense
He had suspected for some time that
a man servant in his employ had been
stealing money from him. A. last he
resolved TO sat a trap for the man TAX
ing a handful OF gold coins. he laid
them down on ais writing desk and went
out. Presently he sent thls servant %
the room 20 fetch some ar icie. When
John had returned. be went prompts
10 his room - see Il the coins rad ussn
touched
On the table. in the place where he
had left them. were gold coins. But
were there az many a. h. had lsfi7 He
id not know for he had neElecte3 %
count them before n Laid them towns
BY this incident. yol see. saia Sir
william, IN telling the story. Thar 7
was born 20 be Chancellor o. the tx
cEsGuer!"
x
General Hsnry Rys Douglas. solder.
s..rsst a+afseuaan ard social len aEdsf