West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1900-11-15
Mr.. BOWSER'S
POPULATIONS.
lie Tries to Keep Little Political
Secret From Mrs. Bowser.


and restless had not escaped
Mrs. Bowser's attention. There
were several things he could have
picked up row about, but didn't.
The cook burned the steak, but he
never noticed it; the gas bill had
come in and lay in plain sight, but
he did not pick 1t up; a caster had
worked out of the leg of chair !;
but he put it back without a word
of comment on carelessness and
destruction. Mrs. Bowser couldn't
help but know that something was
wrong, and she finally queried:
"Have you got one of your head
aches tonight"
"Not the slightest headache" he
replied.
''But you don't feel exactly well ?"
"Never felt better in my life"
His goodness continued till bed
time, and then he announced that
he would sit up an hour later to
overhaul certain accounts. He
assumed very innocent look over
it, but Mrs. Bowser was not to be
deceived. When she reached the
head of the stairs, she sat down to
see what would happen. For few
minutes after her disappearance Mr..
Bowser sat and contemplated the
cat in an absentminded way, and
then he got up, peeled off his coat
and vest, and she heard him say:
"Now, then, to tackle that speech.
I'm bound TO make one or bust.
The idea that I've lived to my age
without making political speech
is all blamed nonsense Here goes.
! am brought out and introduced as
the Hon. Bowser; / bow; / am
applauded to the echo; / draw a
iOhb OlCdbil, OCBiH.
"'Fellow Citizens-As men of
intelligence and as patriots anxious
for the welfare of our country we
have assembled here this evening to
take counsel together. { Long pause.
The question before us is a vital
one. Pause and coughing, with a
new from the cat.) / do not say
that the life of this republic hangs
in the balance pause) but do say
that-that-'"
Mr.. Bowser had got stuck. He
walked to and fro and gestured and
muttered, but the words would not
come. The cat began to howl,
either in sympathy or fear, and Mrs.
Bowser heard him throwing a mag
azine at her and threatening her life.
1t was five minutes before he picked
up the thread again, and his tones
showed that he felt doubtful of his
ability to carry out the job in hand.
"'But do say that the majority
of the electors of this country make
a mistake at the polls in November,
bloodshed, bankruptcy and anarchy
may follow. While we differ in
particulars, we are agreed upon a
whole, and that whole isis
(pause) that whole, fellow patriots,
is-er-'"
II was another breakdown. A
dog in a neighbours yard howled
dismally. The cat under the piano
arched her back and dug her claws
into the carpet and wondered why
she had not noted these signs of in
sanity before. Mrs. Bowser could
hear al the cuss words and the
heavy breathing, and she wondered
II Mr.. Bowser would knock the face
Of the new 7.day clock before he
got through with il. He walked
about for awhile, and then his mind
seemed suddenly to grasp the mis-
sing link.
+" With determination mistaken
by prophecies Of evil, and with a
heart undaunted by danger, with
bis trust in Being higher than man,
Columbus finally set out on his
memorable voyage. We give him
credit as a discoverer, but we fail
to give him credit-to give him
credit say we fail TO give-you
will agree with me that we fail 70
give him credit for-for-y"
Mrs. Bowser laughed tll the tears
came. lie bad wandered of on an
old speech he bad once delivered
before a gang Of 80 Italians, not
one Of whom could speak five
words Of English. lie suddenly
discovered that things didn't match,