Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-05-01


Ministers Of the Gospel Are Usually
Among the Purchasers.
Funny stories have always been mar
ketable to certain extent. After-din-
ner speakers and post-prandial orators,
with regulations greater than their ca
pabilities for retaining such, have al
ways been more than willing to pay a
fair price for the amusing stories and
anecdotes wherewith the aforemention-
ed regulations have been bolstered. Po-
Iitical speakers and certain legal lights
have never disdained the story which
was bought with good, honest dollars,
even though it was the product Of some
other fellows brain and only became
theirs by right Of purchase.
But the field has grown wider Of late.
cred to the masculine humorist, and
many women know what 1t Is to- buy
funny stories nowadays. The price Of
a story varies all the way from bunch
Of violets to $5, with an average Of
about $3.50.
A bright paper had been read at one
Of the larger clubs recently and the
reader was standing in the clubroom
receiving the congratulations of her
friends, when she became aware of a
strange woman who was making des-
perate efforts to attract her attention.
THAT was a fine paper" said the
stranger.
THANK you," said the woman who
had written it.
II have to write paper for another
club before long," then said the other
woman, "and I'm not nearly so clever
as you are"
MOP" said the woman with the bright
paper to her credit
"And I'm quite sure it's easy for you
to think up clever stories" pursued the
stranger.
YES" responded the woman, who be-
gan to see what was coming.
And, in short, will you write me
three or four funny stories, such as you
used to-day?" blurted out the stranger,
yielding to her embarrassment. -I'm
willing to pay for them well, indeed" ;"
what would you charge for allow
ing me to use one of the stories you told
just now at dinner which am to at
tend this evening?" still another woman
asked Of the essayist of the afternoon, a
little later.
Talking the matter over with some
friends this woman learned that funny
stories are frequently bought and sold
In this manner, loaned-for a financial
consideration now and then, and
even openly rented occasionally7-s SO
much for the privilege Of telling a
funny story not more than a certain
number of lines, and strictly within the
limits Of certain social set. By~this
means both the puryeyor and the user
Of the story, are protected, the one from
the danger of her wares being handled
too cheaply or rendered too common,
the other from all fear of being sus-
pected Of employing twice-told tales.
Among club women the funny story
barter reaches its highest proportions.
1t Is distressing to be called upon to
make an impromptu speech and to have
nothing clever or amusing to say. The
society woman, whose reputation for
luncheon-time cleverness or afternoon
tea brilliancy has outrun her natural in
yentiveness, makes by no means a bad
second to the ambitious member of half
a dozen clubs. The fashionable physi-
clan, man or woman, who likes to be
credited with always having something
bright or amusing to say to the patient
who needs enlivening, has also been
known to purchase good stories occa-
Bionally, and there are several ministers
In Chicago who are at least supposed to
do the same thing once In a while.
And, after all, be the story purchaser
club woman, after-dinner speaker, min
lister Of the gospel, or tired-out society
woman, is 1t not better, on the whole, to
buy good stories than to beg, borrow or
steal them? The men and women who
DO buy them, secretly or otherwise, are
lrm in their adherence to this view Of
the case, and there would appear to be
q good deal of common sense and JUS
tice in their position.-Chicago Tribune.