The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-03-10
Mr.. Jobson Gets Dinner
WHEN Mr.. Jobson got home from
wv his Office at five o'clock the othel

afternoon he found the front dool
locked. Concluding that the catch hat
accidentally dropped, he got out hi.
latch key and opened the door. He
was surprised to find the vestibule
door locked, too. Mumbling something
about the inefiicacy and imbecility OF
modern patent locks, he used his latch
key on the vestibuIe door also, and en-.
tered his abode. He had hung his coat
and hat on the rack before he noticed
the queer, lonesome silence that broods
over house the occupants of which
are all out. Mr.. Jobson was visibly rat
Aed.
"Jane!" he called to his wife, some
what commandingly from the bottom
of the stairs, at the same time mutter-
ing something about women who stay
upstairs primping all the afternoon.
But there. was no reply. Mr.. Jobson
went to the head of the basement stairs.
"Lily!" he called to the black serv-
ant. Lily replied not.
swell, here's deuced pretty motel"
CALCULATED Mr.. Jobson, spreading his
legs out in the hall and looking savage.
whats the meaning of it, I'd like to
know? Man comes home from toll
and drudgery at his regular daily hour
and finds his home as deserted as a
northwestern boom town church. Wife
gadding the streets, servant off attend
ing some five o'clock tea and parlor So
cial, and no more sign of dinner than
of elephant tracks! And I'm so hum
cry that i could eat burro stuffed
with firecrackers! Now, this is the
worst yet. I'm willing to do as much
and to stand as much as the next man
for the sake of peace and quiet life,
and to keep my home together, but I'll
be eternally fibbertgibbeted If this
isn't too"
The situation bore SO heavily upon
Mr.. Jobson's spirits that he couldn't
finish the sentence. He set to work
thinking out schemes whereby he
could exhibit his displeasure. He was
in two minds as to whether he would
receive Mrs. Jobson upon her return
with fiery and sarcastic illusions, or
greet her with solemn, martyr-like dig
nifty, displaying evidences of grief and
disappointment too profound for ade-
quate expression. Mr.. Jobson felt very
much abused. He looked around to
see ii there was any note of explana-
ton tackled to the top of the bureau,
or resting on the mantel, or stuck in an
easel on the piano. There was no note.
"Nope," unused Mr.. Jobson, when he
had finished his search, there's not
even line of explanation. just plain
case OF heartless, callous indifference.
And after the way have toiled and
moiled-"
The thought was almost too much
for Mr.. Jobson's composure. He col
lected himself, however, with great ef-
fort, and decided upon a course to pur-
sue. At first he reflected that il would
be a good scheme for him to write a
short. jerky note addressed to Mrs.
Jobson, stick it up in some prominent
place, and then depart for a wild, tu-
time of it downtown, return
ing at three o'clock in the morning in
a night-liner and an aggressive frame
Of mind. But he remembered that the
last time he had chosen this method
OF exhibiting his displeasure over a
fancied grievance he had hardly been
able to drag himself around for week |
TOO much of a boomerang that way
thought Mr.. Jobson, deciding not to
have recourse to the tumultuous plan.
Il know just what I'll dol" he sud-
denly thought, and he proceeded inn
mediafely to put his scheme into oper-
alton. He took OF his coat and elab-
,rately rolled up his sleeves. Then he
descended to the basement kitchen.
He lighted all the burners in the ras
'ange, coming perilously close to blow
ng himself to eternity in the opera
Ion, and started in to cook dinner for
himself. First he dumped about half
pound of coffee into the pot, and. ELL
ng 1t up to the top with water, put il |
"a to boil. Then he dug around for ma
erials wherewith to make himself
ONE corn bread. He ranged all the
materials about him ON the kitchen
able, and within five minutes he was
corn meal, mo.asses and other things
p to bis elbows. He put great many