The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-08-11


her cap for Daniel afore she'd been
here week /; but Daniel didn't seem
to see it, and he laughed like crazy
loon when l told him of it.
Bless my soul, ma" sez he, "the
critters old enough to be my mother,
and she amt got tooth in her head
You must be kinder beside yerself." I"
"Well, you'll see." sez 1, "and if
you amt keerful, she'll get some holt
onto you and sue for breaches Of
promise.
There's never is any telling what
these widder wimmen may do. am
one on them myself, and I ought to
know.
Mr.. Rasher, he jest filled that house
from one end to tother with bugs and
varmints of all kinds. Specimens, he
called them. / was so skairt with
them that l was afeared to go to sleep
nights, for fear boa-constructor or
hippypottermer or some kind of an
onheard-of creeter would creep out of
that attic and devour me.
Rasher ginelally stuck pins thro'
their inards, but land sakes the
most of them wriggled off from the
pins and come to life again. I found
frogs in my shoes, and one night
there was lizard and three swapping
bugs in my bed, and l got rite in onto
them-and come out again quicker
than you could say scat What time
Rasher warn't a-buggings, he was en-
gagged in billing and stewing strong
smelling things that he called chemi-
Gals, and the whole house smelt like
a fourth-class rumshop that had pat
ent fertilizers to sell.
Mrs. Rasher, she practiced her
faith-cure onto grandfather. He is
nigh about doubled up with rhuma-
tics in his j'ints, and, when there is a
northeaster coming on, the way he'll
grown is enuff to set you crazy, if
your narves is at all skittish.
He had one of them spells come on
about two week after the boarders
come; and Mrs. Rasher told him she
could cure him. She made him set
down and she looked straight at him,
and for fifteen minutes they kept it
up, and then she told him to get up
and walk. She sed nothing allied
him but his imagination, and he told
her that she was mistook. And she
argyed and he argyed, and they both
got mad, and she fired hem-book at
him and he hit her whack over the
eyeglasses, and between them they
knocked over the kerysene lamp onto
the dog that was a-layin under the
fahlest tnAYeeeeaha eess, haffcrH gran farher nfofgee
that he was lame and kicked at the
dog, and hit Daniels aquarius where
he keeps fishes and turkles, and bust
ed it, and all the water run out onto
my best carpet. And Mrs. Rasher
sed that if gran fathers kicking up
that way didn't show the power of
faith, then she should like to know
what did.
Miss Smith was delicate and she
used to lay in the hammock and read
novels and sit on a dead tree acrost
the river and look at the moon. She
expected to die early, she sed, and be
buried by the murmuring sea. And
Daniel sed if she died early she'd
have to hurry up, for if she ever
seen thirty-five again then he missed
his guess.
One day Mr.. Rasher he was stew
in an bilin' more than ever, and at
dinner-time he was so absent minded
that he eat ten pertaters, and salted
his tea, and put some sugar on his
steak, and blowed his nose on his
napkin. His wife sed that when he
was specially absent-minded he alters
eat great deal. judge he was
specially absent-minded most of the
time if that's any sign.
He sed he was about making a
great discovery in science. Sez he
"Wait with patience, and if every
thing goes we'll, you will hear some
thing drop before night"
And he went off up into the attic.
1t was in haying-time, and Daniel
had drawed up a load of hay and left
it in the yard to dry a little more
afore he put it into the barn. The
house sol on the side of steep hill,
and Daniel he trigged the wheels
with stake before he left the cart
SOS it wouldn't take sudden start
down hill.
Mrs. Rasher and the Widder Whit
ney, they sed that there was nothing
like the smell of new-mown hay, ant
they clim up on that load Of hay ane
was pelting each other with the hay
az tricky ns kittens. The two boy:
was playin' in the dooryard, and
was out back of the shed feedin &
new brood of chickens.
Suddenly I heard an awful siz-z-z-z
and a rumble; and looking UP into
the air where it seemed to come from
1 seed the ruff of my ell part and the
top of the chimney hist rite up in the
air, and at the same time Gran father
Jones histed too, and his cane flew il
one direction and his broad -brimmec
hat in another and 1 screeched muir
der at the top of my voice, and rur
to pick up his mangled remainders
and, land sake he flew right ovel
onto that load of hay, and SO die
about four bushels of bricks from the
chimney after him, and the shock i
gave the cart set it a going, and ther
1 see that them awful boys had pull
ed the stake out from under the
wheels to play boss with, and th'
cart was at the mercy of the worlt
and that steep hill Something hac
dropped, as Rasher sed it would.
Watch and pray ' 1 yelled t.
Mrs. Rasher. "Now's the time yol
need help, if ever !" and by the time
the words was out of my mouth, th'
load of hay was a-whirlin' down tha
hill like all mater, and them winner
was yellin' for help the awfullest.