Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1900-10-03
HI MOROUS ITEMS

All" said the farmers hoy as he an
preached a nice. fat young turkey. ''c,tn
you give me an idea of what woulG he
good for Thanksgiving diuner?
really can't tell YOU" replied the
turkey; who saw something in the farm
e. boys hand; perhaps you'd better axe
my brother. Denver Times.
Mistress-"What, Going away? Whv:'
Servant" Please. when | came vestar-
day YOU gave me the keys to your trunks
and drawers and chests and jewel boxes
to keep for YOU
M:stresS-"Yes: did that to show that
| trusted You. What is the matter:''
Servant-"There isn't one of them fits
Der F!oh.
Gi!ded Youth-"Oh. doctor. have sent
have not the slightest faith in modern
medical science"
Doctor-"Oh! that doesn't matter in
the least. You see, mule has no faith
IN the veterinary surgeon. and vet he
cures him all the same ''-Tagliehe
Itnndschau.
Rowland Rantt-"Ah. me lord. me
h h. iii, Is dripping with The eggs from the
,Roxey-"Things are coming your way,
illustri0us chief
Rowland Rantt-"Without a doubt. me
lord. No need of paying for ne accuS-
TONED egg shampoo this evening Phil
adrlphia Record.
Perker-"Doubt the Genesis story Of
ST " '''' H'''''n i"''' " ~
Haply-"Bu men Of science"
Men Of science. Listen to any CON
velsation in any language. anywhere,
and you will find the men talking about
their digestion and the women about
their cooks."-Life.
Lady Of the House Undressing Young
.l-year-oid. who, with his parents. had
been invited to dinnerJ-"Well. my lit
ner:"
Youngster-"Prctty well. Sometimes
We don't have any better dinners at
home; but | always get bigger helps :
Berliner Tageblatt.
An old lady who is very much of a
bore paid visit to Il family Of her &C
quamtance. She prolonged her stay.
and finally said to one of the children
IN going away directly Tommy. ana /
want you to go part OF the way With
ne. Cant do it, We arc going TO
have dinner as soon as You leave. re
piled T0mmy.-Tit-Bits.
Askit-"Whatever became Of that ma
Eent of yours you were telling me about
last spring.
DIR. SoLum-"Oh. he's got a complain.
now, that's giving me u grea, deal Of
Askit-" Indeed, What is it="
Dr. Sokqm--"ltS about the amount Of
my bill. "-Philadelphia Press.
The chairman of a certain Scottish
school board is said to have addressed
the following remonstrance to the
chairman of another: Why did you
give that teacher you sent us 50 good n
character Why. the fellow is perfectly
useless. His friend replied; Eth. man.
ven haze to gle him a far better charac-
ter before ye get rid o him.
Mr.. Fits with Unprecedented
have come. sir to afford myself the felic-
lty OF wipng UP the floor of this office
with the person who wrote up the reccp-
ton given 1T my house yesterday"
Edltor-"lcs, sir; step over to next
desk. sir Miss Johnson
Mr.. -"Er-ah-Shc-I think Ia
better send my Wife round to attend t.
this. ILLUSTRATED Bits.
Jcames-"Did you ring. menu"
Madame-'Ies. If Mrs. de Smy,hp
calls ask her to wait"
JeamCs-"l thought YOU wasn't com
ing back till late, mem"
Madame-"Of course I'm no5. But
Mrs. de Smytne can wait till she gets
tired. It'll do her good. She wasn't ut
home to me last week and Iii get even
MEN, -
.,,,l[" - :, Iul9"i!Le 10 button "Ae
t,ho,n i1a,, Met tne lar DUNG E-ri
,,l,,,11eJ - i'i'ii' i"0 ieeeH''> hVeA an
Ho ..I I'd
!. a,W"{S lei my husband de 1t for
u l', ~. I",u ie' harIle" I!iehd' de bHt-
TONS lnenl III JiHE. why don you lei
your young man button yours
d.d. the 9thef evening ana i took
nm III nearly nan an hour Philadelphia
IresS'
Skribbler's. He wrote novel ana in
ordcr 20 make il 20 he wrote after his