davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
TRIAL BY FARCE
In Dreyfus Case Found Parallel in
"Alice in Wonderland"

In Dreyfus Case Found a Parallel in,
"Alice in Wonderland"
There is a delicious bit of court nom
sense in Alice in Wonderland" that
bears a striking similarity to the seri-
GUS but almost as peculiar trial Of
Dreyfus. A recent writer has made the
clever parallel:
There's more evidence to come yet
please your majesty" said the White
Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry.
This paper has just been picked up
What is ity' said the Queen.
81 haven't opened it yet" said the
White Rabbit, but it seems to be a
letter written by the prisoner TOTO
somebody"
who is it directed top said one OF
the jurymen
1T isn't directed at ALL" said the
White Rabbit In fact, there's moth
ing written on the outside" He I'M
folded the paper as he spoke, and add
ed; 1t isn't letter, after all; it's a.
set of verses"
Are they in the prisoners handwrit-
lngY asked another of the jurymen.
mo, they're not" said the White Rab-
bit land that's the Queerest thing
about it."
CThe jury all looked puzzled)
He must have initiated somebody
elses hand" said the King.
CThe jury all frightened up again0
please. your majesty" said the
Knave, Il didn't write 1t, and they
can't prove l did; there's no name
signed at the end"
IF you didn't sign it," said the King,
that only makes the matter worse
You must have meant some mischief,
or else you'd have signed your name
like an honest man."
Let the jury consider their verdict"
the King said for about the twentieth
time that day.
mo, no." said the Queen; sentence
frst-verdict afterward."
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
RECENT INVENTIONS.

A New Jersey man has designed a
pocketbook which has the lining coy
ering nearly the entire inner surface
of the two end portions. forming con
tinuous pocket. with circular opening
In one end through which the coins can
be lifted.
BY the use of an improved support
lncandescent nantes are rendered less
liable to break, fibrous non-combusti
Bile, flexible string being secured to one
side of the frame. with an adjustable
grip set on the opposite side. to sus
pend the mantle at the required height
To prevent tampering with fire-alarn
boxes n New Jersey man would make
use of metal cage. VIII CHI is secu. ed
to the post supporting the box. with a
mechanism operated by the door of the
fire box to close the door Of the cage
and lock the man in until released by
the tiremen.
BrOoms with spring handles are to be
manufactured by Tennessee com
pany, the wooden handle being severed
close to the head and provided with
spindles at the severed ends. which are
Inserted in opposite ends Of a spira
spring. TO give fexibl,ty to the broom
when in use.
Coiled spring is used in place OF
weights to act as Il sash balance in a
New York mans invention. a series OF
pulleys ropes being arranged on the
edge Of the sash in such a manner that
the ropes lengthen as the window is
moved, relieving a portion of the strain
on the spring.
a support for the splnes Of person.
picking cotton and other materia,
where 1t is necessary to carry baskets
Is made Of piece of fiat steel fitted
with a T-head, with straps to support
the shoulder blades, a second cross
piece fitting the small Of the back and
carrying a strap for the waist.
Cloth can he rapidly cut by a newly
patented implement, which has ar
electric motor suspended from the cell
Ing by balanced cords. with gear
wheel at the lower end Of the vertical
shaft to connect with a horizontal
shaft, which carries the cutting dish
In proximity to a shoe, sliding under
the cloth as 1t is cut.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
HoMssPuN PHILOSOPHY.

Observations on Connie nplace Things
by the Atchison Globe Man.
A woman can't find her pocket, and
man can't find articles in his pocket
Some people say it is wicked to buy
anything useful as Il Christina pres
ent.
Man is too hungry half the time to be
ambitious, and too stuffed the other
half.
A man who has both feet in the
grave is as apt to get his leg pulled as
anybody.
The average girl starts out at IS to
make a name for herself, but decides
at 20 that some mans will do.
When a coldly good woman is caught
reading an immoral novel, she says
she reads 1t for its literary style"
There is an age when burying
stories are started on a man with
greater frequency than marrying
stories, and lie should behave accord
lngly.
What has become Of the oldfashion-
ed sentiment that charged woman
with extravaganza unless she bought
clothes for the children that were too
large?
1t Is funny, but n father is so afraid
Of his daughter lie never sits in the
parlor, but any young man around
town Is welcome there seven nights in
the week.
A young man may stand well in the
community in which he lives. and the
people may speak well of him, but IN
less he amounts to something the
people will soon quit speaking well Of
him.
People In Northwest Atchlson are
very indignant because a woman is
compelled to support a grown son, her
sisters husband, without any assist
ance. The world never needed any
thing worse than commission to reg.
ulate kin.
There never was n saying tending
more to encourage idleuess than "All
things come to him who waits" They
never come. 1t would be as wise to 90
out and sit on the prairie and wait for
the railroads to build line to you be-
fore you move on. Things don't
come" you have to go after them
md you must take a fast train.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

About ten years ago n young widow
with three children went TO New York
seeking employment. The eldest child.
a boy Of fifteen. had been before the
mast. and his boyish boast OF the diff
ferent knots he could tie inspired an in.
yentive woman to order of him a screen
OF tied rope The effect was so odd
and beautiful that n paying industry
in rOpework resulted. By the com
blned efforts of the family. one daugh-
ter has been enabled to study art In
Paris, the other has lately graduated
from Cornell, and the boy is civil en-
gineeT Of much promise in the govern
ment service. My resources are what
we ourselves can do" said Frederick
the Great to his discouraged generals.
The dictum is no less applicable to each
inquirer to-day.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
". c--.Ion,n would Take It.

A member of one of the great politi-
cal clubs Of London recently lost his
umbrella and put up a notice in the
hall requesting the nObleman' who
had taken it to return it when he bad
done with it. The committee, in due
course. desired to be informed why hs
had ascribed it's possession to a peer
The member blandly referred them to
the rule which said that the club was
composed of "noblemen and gentle
men," and added that no gentleman
would have taken his umbrella.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

Jay Gould died leaving his sons and
daughters "A fortune of S7O,OOOOOO. One
daughter married a titled foreigner,
Count BoRl de Castellane, of France
and there was IA grand wedding. But
the titled foreigner was disappolnt-
ment Before the honeymoon was over
ne began TO furnish sensations for the
yellow newspapers OF Paris aud New
York The other daughter took diff
ferent view OF life. She would not be
a butterfly, but "A bee. Following out
her Ideal she has made the name Of
Helen Gould the sweetest name In
America. Every working girl In New
York idollzes her and there is scarce
an Ai1erican soldier or sailor who
would not die for her. Which Of these
two. think you, chose wisely?
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

least It seems that any one ought TO
consider it evident that the nineteenth
century will end after 1900 years have
been completed, or at midnight Of Dec.
81, 1900. This being the case, the new
century viii be ushered in at the first
moment Of time Of Jan. l, 1901. 1t Is
curious that such simple problem
should have proved so vexatlous. but ii
illustrates how easily a bubble may be
made to appear logical. Those who are
convinced that this is the first year of
the twentieth century will doubtless
continue to hold that notion until pub
lie opinion has become so settled that
to go opposite to it will result in ridt
cule. That will end the debate.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
Mrs. Dewev.s Renartoo

Father Macklin. who married Nv
hazen to Admiral Dewey at his rec
tory In Washington. some time ago
wrote to Mrs. Hazen when her quar-
.erly pew rent was due. In his note
he said that her pew, No. 81 in his
Cnurch was getting moldy, and he
reared she might be going to some 9th
ct church than his. On the wedding
morning she reminded him Of it. and
Salu; Now Father Macklin. could Won
not say my pew is NIlldewey,' instead
OF that very ugly word?D
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
AN OLD. OLD CHURCH.

Built by the Russians in Alaska In
1909, and still Standing.
The old Russian church at Juneau,
Alaska, built in 1909. Is still standing
fOursquare to all the winds that blow
The larger and more modern building,
part of whose gable and weather
boarded end juts up close to the church
In the background Of the picture. is an
up-tO-date brewery, lately erected to
supply amber fluid to quench the thirst
Of the people as they grow in civilized
tastes.
This church has long served its pur-
pose as house of worship and an &C.
clesiastical school. In 1t many Indians
have been taught the rites of the Greek
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
Atmospheric Waves

The atmospheric ocean surrounding
the earth is frequently disturbed by 81
gantic waves, which are invisible ex.
cept when they carry parts Of the all
charged with moisture up into a colder
atmospheric stratum, where sudden
condensation occurs. In this manner
long. parallel lines OF clouds sometimes
make their appearance at a great
height, marking the crests Of a ripple OF
air waves running miles above oul
heads.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

~ Ne niOF r n Il NaohiRA " +AAs HANA
fats Denver bank, the First National,
and Thomas Kelly. assistant cashier,
are the lucky men. Mr.. Lewln's gift
was a check for 100000 and Mr.. Kel-
ly's was one for $4,000 The only mes
sage with the checks was: Accept as
tokens Of Mr. Moffats regards" It's
needless TO say that Messrs. Levin and
Kelly appreciate their employers ap-
probation.
Mr.. Moffat gave away another for
tune some years ago, but under much
different circumstances. An excited
man broke into his office at the bank
one day and. brandishing n big bottle
filed with liquid. demanded that Mr..
Moffat give him all the money he had
handy.
1--WE explosive enough here to blow
this place to atoms If | drop it," the
visitor cried, "and 1t drops unless get
the money!
He got 1t, nearly $4,000 The visitor
got away safely, leaving the bottle. II
had nothing in It more dangerous than
castor OIL
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
ELEVATORS IN THE cApITo,
ohs to Whom Is Due the c-.,,.
Their Introduc,.a-' ~'euit OF

PERSONS TO Whom Il ~,
49, neir Introduction,
i came here" said tho
member OF Congress, when el ,Tn ~,
,h 49, unhnown. Not long afterward
lney made their appearance in sa" " a. =
u the large cities. They wera 800 49, -
sieu an expensive luxury. ana 49,.
dreamed Of placing them IN +ho oouS
,'o'. singular as 1t may seem the ers.
nan 10 propose and advocate their In
,rouuetion was member from ne,
ne was the heaviest man in tho H.
anu represented the San Antonio AZ
'rlet' His name was Gustavo So,
So 80 anu ne was born in Germany A.
.ne Time Of his Introduction OF a reso-
'u'ion providing for an elevator in the
sou.n wing Watchdog Holman was
e"'''i man OF the committee on apDro-
priations. He fought the resolution
looth and nail, on the score Of scono,nv
ne regarded it as the acme of extravs-
sance. Schleiger, however. was ner-
sistent lie fought Holman to n stand
sun and was finally beaten nv the
strategy so characteristic of tho Hoo
sNr statesman. Even the civ mann
pers voted against the resolution. The
Dig German, however, had attracted
the attention of the whole country
ms pleased his constituents. and he
was reelected. He came back 70 the
rorty-nfth Congress and continued the
agitation for an elevator. He died near
the close of the third session, much re-
GREETED.
In the Forty-sixth Congress Robert
hlotz OF Mauch Chunk, PENNSYLVANIA
Dutchman, championed Schleieer's
hobby. He was so persistent In adyo.
eating 1t that one of his colleagues said
TO MIN one day: You want to be hoist
cd TO your seat. do you? Well, the peo-
pie Will hoist you next fall. You wilb
get all the hosting you want them
Inc prediction failed. Mr.. Klotz was
returned to Congress, after he had sue
ceeded in securing an appropriation for
an elevator. 1t was made In the Forty
sixth Congress in the sundry civil bill.
Holman was no longer chairman of the.
committee on appropriations. His sue
cessor was the Hon. John De Witt Clin-
ton Atkins Of Tennessee. The fact re-
mains. however. that the introduction
OF the elevators in the capitol was due
to the efforts of two statesmen Of Ger
man extraction. Washington CORE
spondent Philadelphia Record.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

When Lady Blessington sent d Orsa
to complain Of some delay on the part
Of her publishers, Otley < Saunders. he
used very strong language. \ dignitied
man In a high. white neckcloth. who
was listening to him, said: Count
D'Orsay, l would sooner lose LADY
Blessington's patronage than submit ia
such personal abuse" There was
nothing personal" said the Count; iii
you are Otley, then damn Saunders; II
you are Saunders, then damn Otley."
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
Lnrne,s Courteons Aotion.

1t Is stated by Canadian historian
that the Marquis of Lorne, while Gov
ernor General OF Canada, bought the
sword Of General Montgomery then
held by a Canadian as a relic Of the
battle before Quebec. and sent 1t to
relatives Of Montgomery in the United
States. This courteous action may
have been reported at the time; If so.
II has been Observation-Disclosures Dem
ocrat and Chronicle.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

" - - IdIks duu AhC VIM
ing season 1t is the intention to give
1000 mothers and children such an out
ing as they have never had before.
Probably no settlement In the coun-
try has accomplished such pretentious
things in behalf of the summer outing
scheme as has the Forward Movement.
Two or three years ago this settlement
was working hard getting its children
out Of the crowded quarters Of the city
to country homes, where, they could
have breathing spell of week or
two during the not months; the year
before last it took the children to an
Island down in the Kankakee River;
this year 1t is the proprietor of beau
tiful 2O0-acre park Of its Own-2O0
acres Of wooden hills and valleys ex-
tending from the Kalamazoo River to
Lake Michigan. The park extends
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

along the shore Of
the lake for almost
half a mile and for
about half that dis
lance along the
river. Immediate
ly to the north Is
Bald Head Noun
tain, and just at
the south are the
towns of Sauga-
tuck and Douglas.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

Thousands Of readers felt a personal
sense OF loss on reading OF the death
Of r.. ID. Blackmore. the author OF
the exquisite romance. Lorna Doone."
one OF the books which have held
people OF all ages and degrees by its
powerful charm and which is reasona-
bly, sure OF retaining lts fame into the
next generation.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

There are few people still convinced
that the twentieth century has begun
and there are others who are hating
between two opinions concerning the
matter. Most Of the accepted authori-
ties Of the world agree that the TWEEN
fieth century will not begin until Jan.
i, 1901, and this viii be the accepted
decision the world over Of this much
discussed question. 1t is evident. or a.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
A Social Dip. omat

can you trace the resemblance of
baby to anything under the sun but
another babyY'
oh yes, indeed replied the social
diplomat
"rO whatg
TO whichever parent asks me about
it,"
All the masters Of diplomacy are not
In public life.-Detroit Journal.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
Was Careless

" nah IS Mistah ChalkeyeY incurred
Miss Miami Brown. VII GU
"Whah is hep repeated Mr.. Erasmus
Pinkley. - III Us
es, lie said he wah gwlneter call i"
" ell you sees, de troof Is dat he's
iaid up. He wah kyahless bout HE
health" Oou' MS
"Hab he aacoldY'
NO, l had razor out an injured
II anybody wanted to fight and ba sald
yes. Washington Star. '-'U
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

A Chicago man shot aud Killed him
self the other day because he feared
hydrOphobia ns IA result of dog bite.
SO-called cases of rabies among human
Beings are largely the result Of lmagl-
nation. Tens of thousands OF people
are bitten by dogs every year without
serious effects.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
A win and a Way.

George" she cooed, why can't we
get married next Sundayr
We'll" hesltatlngly replied the re-
calcitrant but manly youth at her side,
we could, l s'pose; but 1t may rain
Sunday"
George, If it rains Sunday couldn't
we get married Saturday T-Judge.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

preacher has resigned because he
wants the privilege Of dancing when he
feels like 1t, and. TO use his own words,
-'Of occasionally slapping friend on
the back aud saying, Hello, there,
BillF That poor fellows parents
ought to have known from the begin
ming that nature never intended him
for the ministry. lie was born to drive
q coal wagon.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

Strengthening the lungs, especially
the apexes. may be done by Blowing
through a small pipestem or tube that
will allow the breath to pass out slow
ly. First ill the lungs with good air,
then blow with steady force vigorously
but not violently. A few times daily
will be sufficient.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
The FEMININE Concen1inn.

Lawyer-Write that wholesale firm
in New York which sent us a claim
against the jeweler that he's attached
by his wife's sister.
observation-disclosures me, sir, but
but shouldn't the proposition be 10 in
stead Of by?-Jewelers' Weekly.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

II the Nebraska school-teRcher who
whipped the entire class Of boys sin
gie-handed does not become famous
later In life so that this story may be
told about him he will so against all
precedent.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

In spite OF the prevalence OF newspa
pers and coroners' lnquests people are
stin turning on the gas and trying to
blow out electric lights.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

A Gun of hot or cold water taken on
rising in the morning is of much value
with some people, for the mucous coat
IF the stomach is washed away, and its
Juices are more quickly brought into
contact with the food.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

attention by taking
Thomas Gay, head
waiter at a fashion,
able New York ho-
tel, on a protract ID
European trip, has
again shown his
unique eccentricity
by giving away for
tunes to two Of his
employees.
Geo. Ross Levin,
cashier Of Mr.. NOf-
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

A valued exchange refers edltorlally
10 n man who had TO rise at 3 a. m. In
the morning" Stll, his case wasn't
80 bad. II he had been called upon to
get mp at Il. m. In the evening he
might well have grumbled.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

AS a rule Of life il Is well not to de
pend too much on simply being square
or upright to escape being played upon.
Look even at the pianos.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

Ultimately the truth gets out about
men. Some are not 80 bad as they are
painted. while others are infinitely bet
ter than amateur photographers make
them
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

Andrew Carnegie says poverty is
blessing 1t is quite while since An
drew tried 1t. however. and he may
have forgotten.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

The Gear believes that universal dis
armament will come but he Is willing
90 admit that present complications
may delay II little.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

After oil, why should there not be
combines among place-holders for their
particular benefit? Is not public office
a public trust7
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

OFTEN n man who has eight or nine
sons thinks he has done all that Is nee
essary to hand his name down to future
generations.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

The cat that is said TO have fallen
sixty feet unhurt may have only eight
lives left
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

When the doctors fall out the bacilli
give themselves over to exclamation.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

The muscles of the human jaw exert
a force Of 534 pounds. and those of
mastiffs, wolves. etc. far more.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

a bachelor says wife is undoubted-
ly a good thing to have around the
house-to blame things on when they
90 wrong.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

In view Of burglars entering all sorts
of buildings. isn't It odd none Of them
get into the jails?
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
women Not whipped in Delawar.

Women Not Whipped in Delaware.
Delaware publicly whips some of its
male malefactors. but no woman has
been thus punished in the State for
yearly fifty years. the law exemptine
them from its infiction having been
enacted in 1855.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

The newly formed starch trust ex-
poets to polish Off all its rivals prompt
".
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

Many people have wretched taste:
the world is full Of people who like
sousa's marches.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

Many a man would have a better
wife II be wasn't such a poor husband.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

summer vacation in
the settlements mag
niiicent new park
across the lake, near
Saugatuck, Mic h.
Since last summer
the settlement, by
the purchase of more
land, has more than
trebled the size of
Forward Movement
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

That piano trust will make music.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
AN EccENTRIc MILLIONAIRE.

Banker Daniel II. MoHat and Some of
His Peculiar Gifts.
Daniel II. MOffat, the millionaire
mine ownerand banker of Denver, Col.
who last year attracted considerable
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06
OUTINGS FOR POOR CHILDREN.

Chicago Clergyman's Noble Work for
the Unfortunates.
The Forward Movement settlement
of Chicago is making extensive prepar-
atoms for the children's and mothers
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

HARVEY A. PUGH. Publisher.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-04-06

EMMETT. .D IDAHO