The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-04-29
Fun of the World,

llO1l, dlOs not kf0W1uS uoN lof1S SAS
should talk to him. naivefy requested
him to tell her when she should leave
| him. ''On the contrary said the Prince,
| sit is for you TO tell me when YOU are
! bored" Later His Royal Highness ask
ed where the young lady was born AT
X 1 have lived there ali my life"
How many years did you say you lived
| there?' inquired the Prince. II am
bored, sir" said the lady quietly.
< EE
/ whitman's grandmother was Quaker.
and the bard had been all his life used.
| Quaker fashion, TO sitting In the house
with his sombrero on, II 1t suited him so
! 10 do. One day, with a friend. ne enter
| ed the gloomy and half empty Trec'lcts
Of Trinity Church, New Yo.k, AMI took
/ a back seat in the obscurity, and for
moment forgot 10 remove his hat. or was
probably just about to do so when an
/ officious verger stepped up and request
| ed him to take IL on. Walt, man of
immense pride. not seeing fit to do so
| instantaneously, or being very slow in
| his mental processes, was taking the
! matter into consideration for q second
when the verger knocked the offending
| hat of his head. Wait picked up the
| huge felt, and doubling it together.
smote the fellow vigorously twice or
thrice with ii on the head, and slowly
!
lowing and threatening him with the
law.
| x z ga
| Major Hayford Thoroid. second In com
mand Of the First Battalion, Duke OF
| weliingtons regiment. tells story of
| his experiences in Matabeland in 1886,
when sent to restore order in little
| township called "Gwelo." On arrival
/ there he found the acting commandment
! 10 r.Irr r., -rn hdr n .
| on delirium tremens; so he had him lock-
ed up. The commandant, however, man
aged to break out and make his way
| to the telegraph office, whence he de-
| spatched the following by wire: Cham
beTlain, London: Man here named Tho
rold questions my sobriety. Who 10
| Thorold? Wire at once to avert blood
| shed"
& z x q
| An East Indian Prince. on his first visit
| toS this country. suffered so continuously
from cold that he contracted pneumonia
| and died. He was cremated, and, after
| being some ten minutes in the crematory
| an attendant opened small slide in the
| side Of the furnace to note the result.
The Prince was sitting bolt upright on
the slab and shouting: Shut that
| door!'
g &c
| Uncle Enoch Johnson, a colored man,
who finds it hard work to pay his bills
| promptly on account of his large family,
| was waited upon by his butcher, who
reminded him of an unpaid bill
Use mighty sorry, Mr.. Cleaver," said
| Uncle Enoch, but / can't pay We dis
mont
| The butcher went away and returned
| in exactly a month.
use sorry. sah,' said Mr.. Johnson.
| when the butcher presented his bill, but
1 can't pay We muffin dis mont.
Not this month? Why, that's just ex-
actIy when you told me last month"
"Sartin, suah'' said Uncle Enoch,
drawing himself up with injured dignity,
IAN amt 1 done KEEP my word, sah?"
u x u z
Surgeon General Sternberg Of the
army says that when he was going into
the battle Of Bull Run, the Irish sergeant
major Of his regiment came to him with
a big bag of gold coin weighing three or
four pounds and said:
Doctor know that I'm TO be kilt
entirely, an I want you TO take care Of
this money an see that ii gets 10 the
ould folks al home"
There was no time to demonstrate or
to make any other arrangements. and
dropping the bag into the surgeons lap,
the ,Irishman hurried away to his place
at the head of the column. All through
two bloody days DIR. Sternberg carried the
bag of gold with his surgical instruments
and it was a burden and embarrassment
to him. He tried to get rid Of II, put
couldn't find anyone willing 10 accept or
even to share the responsibility, aud ne
couldn't throw il away for the sake Of
the "oud folks at home"
Toward the close OF the second day the
surgeon was taken prisoner. He lost his
surgical instruments and his medicine
case, but chung TO the gold, and making
a belt Of his necktie and handkerchief,
tied ii around his waist next TO his skin
to prevent its confiscation by his captors.
During the long. hot, weary march that
followed, the gold pieces chafed his flesh.
and his waist became so sore and blister
ed as to cause him intense suffering, but
he was bound that the "ouid folks at
home" should have the benefit Of that
money. and by the exercise Of great eau
ton and patience managed TO keep IL I'M
til ne was exchanged with other priS-
oners and got back TO Washington There
he found his regiment In camp and one
OF the first men 10 welcome him was the
Irish sergeant-major, who was so de-
lighted TO learn that the doctor had saved
his money that ne got drunk and gam
bled ii all away the first night.
q < y z
A clergyman walking on the outskirts
Of his parish one day. says The Phono-
graphic Record. found one Of his par
ishioners embarrassing his cottage.
Pleased al this novel manifestation of the
virtue that is next to godliness, he com
plimented the man on HIS desire for neat
ness With a mysterious air the worker
descended from the ladder, and. approach
ing the fence said: That's not exactly
nh 1gfr ~
Job. your Worship. The last two couples
as lived here had twins. so l ses 10 my
n1issls: I'll take and whitewash the
place SOS there mayn't be no Infection.
You see. sir. as how we've got ten Of
'em already"
gsg
General Hazen. the first head OF the
weather bureau IN Washington, found
il almost impossible 10 persuade the
members of congress TO vote for him
the necessary funds with which 20 carry
cut his plans. One spring. when the ap-
propriatiou had been shamefully cut
down BIZ the economy loving chairman
Of the committee. Mrs. Hazen was the
guest OF an after-6fnner reception az the
house Of one OF the cabinet members.
where the most detestabie and Unendura-
BE weather, untimely and UNLOCKED for.
vas tho topic OF the moment As Mrs
Hazen crossed the room to make her
aaIelis she vas wayIaId by tne chairman
Of the offending committee, who sccost-
a. her thus: well. Mrs Hazen. Is this
the BEST Your husband can do for us "a
the way Of weather." Mrs Hazsu look
eA at him with a sg66el fash n nsr
eyes. then answered. clearly and sSseily.
Yes. AR Blank ne very best-fof TIE
snproortattou.' TIE discounted nan
ed IN the midst ot TIE hardly concealed
smiles Of tie surrounding guests
Car. Hertz. tie con5ureF. has rather a