The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-07-14

Stick up that arm-so. txere.
There We are. Gee. what d back,
You're a vest-pocket Sandow. that's what you
You're all right, Stubby. You keep that shape
For 20 years and the world IS yours.
Now sit w here,
Quit your doublin' up. How do you S'poSe
l can get anything on you that way?
Here's somethin' that looks like 4 shirt;
Les get into this on a venture.
That's the way. Good boy, Stubby.
Other arm. nOw-no. not your foot-your hand.
Hold on, now:
Wait a minute till pop gets these buttons
Into the buttonholes-
What the donnerwetter
Do they make these holes SO blamed small for?
How can a full-siZed man get a hold of a
Button like that?
These women folks don't use sense, do they?
Well, there's one in:
1 guess that's buttons enough for a small boy.
It'll have to do. anyway. What's all this?
Here seems to be three skirts and a hitchinS
All in one bunch. Yes. sit there and GOO
What do you know about trouble, anyway?
What l want to know is does this prize puzzle
Go over your head or your feet.
What do you care? You don't need to worry;
You get your breakfast whether
School keeps or not.
But where do l come in. hey?
Don't You s'poSe l want to eat. too?
Here We go now. all together-oEe. two, three.
Hind side '~fore-well, what's the diff?
Stand up now while l give EN- a twist.
All hands round. promenade TO seats;
There your are, my son.
Ten dollars reward for any old mamma
That can beat that job of skirt hanging.
Now will you kindly cease wigglin'
While l match these buttons to buttonholes?
Big button in a broad buttonhole.
Little button in a little buttonhole.
And here's a button left over with no button
hole.
Now where does that button go?
Open your mouth and stick out your tongue;
Lem see if You swallowed that buttonhole.
There. there. Stubby: Lop's only iokin'.
We got buttonholes 20 burn.
Now what do We do with that strap. do you
know?
If you do. YOU can't tell. can you?
III tell you what l think. Stu5by:
/ think that straps i sCperfiuIty:
Its too short to go round your stomach
And it's too long 10 go round Your neck;
l guess We pass up the strap.
What's the sense havin' useless things
In a helpless infants wardrobe?
Now your dress. All. this is dead easy.
There's only one way this can go on
Over the babyS head. Peek-a-b"o.
All. seven more buttons. This is a good thing.
I'm glad this dress covers up all the other
things
Mamma can't see what We didn't do.
Two stockings and two shoes next, Ell?
Stick out yo:r foot.
Aw. quit bendin' your knee that way,
Stick II out straight: hold her there now;
Never mind little pig went to market
That's all right when you're goin' to bed,
But this is Il matter Of business.
VIII You hold out that foot. or won't you?
Don't put II in your mouth-Stick it out,
Now hold still.
Hood still, now-one. two. three.
Heel on top. but | guess thatl! do;
l amt goin' through all that again.
Not for all the boys in the Thi.ty-second ward.
Hark, Hear that bell, Stub?
What does bell say?
Bells says breakfast ready. Here you are,
Only one StOckin on Sit still Row, quick.
Here goes little red shoe.
Right on little red stocking.
Is there any right an left to these shoes?
1rT hfs nnp anVvpa lr-r-N IN pAu-
I'm gettin' hungry. You got to sit still now
An let me finish this job right now
Or III begin to get huffy at you.
l can stand a good deal without kickin',
But you ought to have a little bit o sense,
Grinnin' like an ape there quit it now.
Stick them red toes into that shoe. quick!
You think this is a good Joke, don't YOU?
Well, il amt.
l want it understood
1 amt no nurse girl. not on your life.
One shoe off and one shoe on.
Diddle. diddle, dumping. my son john
That's shoes enough for 4 boz your size.
Let the other GO till after breakfast.
Come on, now les go downstairs:
Grab hold tight: that's the way: hug ole Dol
Tight. Here We go downstairs now
Down. down. down.
Hello, mamma, here we are again.
All ready to eat.
your old breakfast ready?
What are you laughing at? Baby's bare foot?
course, that's the way to come downstairs.
Always come with one foot bare. don't We?
Here, madam. take your child.
| want to tell you right here and now,
I've done this nursesirl act
the very last time-see?
You tend your own yOungones,
get someone else to do il:
[ m not in the market any longer.
What have YOU done with the paper?
Great snakes. Is there any good reason
Why we can't have some hot coffee
Once in two or three years.
Anyway? Chicago Dail- Record.