Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1900-03-30


ne Announces .'Diskuyery w.
Moo Issoo Fer the Next Campane.s
NO More wives For the Sultan OF
sulu. .ss
BURo Nv INFERMAsHUN,
81 WASHINGTON. DC.
Tu the Editur:
These helquarters hez got sum star-
thing infermashun tn let loose fer the
benefit NV the Dimicratic party. and It
IL nothin less than the precipitatin nv
q moo issoo fntu the cumin campane
witch ert tn sfdetrack sum Nv the old
ones we hev bin Ons~uccessfully nor
keyin with. The November e%lecshuns
showed thet we hev bin. barkin up
eral wrong trees 4doorin the past yeer-
and ennything tibet will distract publik
attenshun frum SIGH performances is
wuth enknrrijen and adoptin. 1t wuz
with this idee in view thet / hev In
dooced our Dimfcratic manijerss tn ex-
ploar all the plans tibet hev bin sub
mitted tn en-. ana tn ransack their
craniums tn fnd sum real. live and ex-
citin assoc tn put befoar the kountry
In place Nv those witch an obtroosiTe
and on%scroopulus Republican majority.
slaughtered at the November hog KILN.
Our STATESMEN hev he'd noomerous
consnltashuns ontu the subjeck. and
the most ny us hev cum tn the con-
clooshun tibet It wood be best to spring
uv,un non nnrM<ff-nl rooho< <hnAt wnnA 4
not hey tu mulch pedigree behind It
Ter the Republicans tn pick at. Here
tufore we hev bin bothered with hevin
= record upon most publik questyuns
witch wuz tn rank, and scared ava the !
raw recroots wen the; begun tn over
haul It. l am afrade We hev made
the same mistaik in hitchin up with
Aguinaldoo. In bubble harness. and re-
joicin over the defects and delays nv
the Fillipeeno campane. In order tn
avoid SIGH snags In the future we hev'
agreed tn introdoOce an intireIy moo
and redhot issoo tibet hain't bin hauled
thru previust campanes and becum wa
s.tefiosyed bi tn mulch discusshans We
hev decided tn overhaul the sultan nv
sulu Ter heyfn to menny wives. and
to put the Crate Republikin party Nv
this kountry ontu the defensiv fer ne
soshiatin q freely thet wood pertniti
SIGH m onholy and immoral. stait nv
affairs. We kin stand poligamy In
Utah all rite. and kin Civ Mr.. Roberts
all the boostin we dare tn. on the sly.
fer he Il q troo bloc Dimicrat, and
wood du the saim fer emmy Nv the rest
Nv as II we wuz In the saim fix. but tu',
hev sum far ava niger ontu an island
in the Pacific ocean, tibet no Dimicrat
knu wuz abuv water ontil this onprin-.
sipied and corrupt Republican admin
istrashun captured It, live in q stait NV
| poligamy, with no clo4e on but q plug
hat, IL an outrage agin konst1tooshunal
liberty that no good Dimicrat kin up
hold or tolerate.
az a netis nv our intenshuns tn on
doc this CRATE act Nv injustice. we hev
'hed Mr.. Williams NV Mississippi In
trodooce an opium joint resplooshun
intu the house Nv representatives call
in fer an investigashun nv the subjeck
In order tn find out WHARF VIZ air TAT =
and git q bill Nv particulars. If we,
find, upon inquirin around, tibet the
sultan hez got moar wives than he kin,
handle, or moar than he IL entitled tn.
We MUST find sum wa tn redoece hiz
basis dv representative without dom
tn mulch tn injure hiz feelins. We kim
not afford tn be tn hedstrong In deeljn,
with SIGH matters on account nv to-
ture possibilities. I heer the Repub-
likins air likely tn faver sum compre-
hensiv plans Nv annexashun fer the
furrin territory witch we hev laitly ac-
quired, and tina mite conclood to hitch
on Sulu. In SIGH a case e. tibet the sui
tan mite cut sumthin. NV q fgger ez an
onclothed Mormon in an Amerikin
stait or territory. II the Republicans
hev not corrupted him most likely he
wood REMAND a Mormon, and wood
naturally drift tn support Nv the Dimi-
cratic party. In view Nv SIGH a possi-
bility it wood be onwise tn harrer up
hiz feelins tn mulch at the present
tibet the harrerin is only intended fer
effeckt in this kountry and tn be used
ez capital agin the Republican party.
He must be made tn understand how
necessary it IL fer the Dimicrats tn. on
load sum Nv the dead issoos tina hev
bin chained tn, and how reddy tina air
tn snap at ennything tibet affords EN-
an oppertoonity tn du 1t. Wen he on
derstands the %sitooashun l feel conf
dent he will approve of it with all hiz
hart and sole. and enter enthoosias-
tically intu the plans we air perfectfn
tn give him a roast in our next cam
pane. sss
In the meantime our ~noozepapers and
stump speakers will jine hands with
our congressman in denouncin polig-
amy. and particularly tibet part nv ii
tibet IL bein engineered by the sultan
nv .Sulu. Tha will pitch intu the pres
ident fer alsowin hiz Representatives tn
conclood a freely with .sich a disrepoo.
table scoundrsl e. the sultan, and will
insist upon KNOWN how menny wives
he hez, and whut tina ware IL tina ware
e%nnything at all. We must insist, too,
upon the abrogashun nv thet part IN
the freely witch allows the sultan to
hev q dozen wives wen d DinHcratic