davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
sau Nutonio 9onnerfag ben 10. Sul 1900.

gen nnb nebrnen bte Nt9tung auf bte
8isgarsberst apif9en @leneoe unb
2abpimitb bier ettpa, ipo ber Ort
glanbslaaste auf ber &arte beraet4z
net 1T. limb nun quite Mube, meine
6erren! 9luf morsen friib"
Die Na9t mar gefommen. Mm
llfer bes Waal batten bic beutf9en
Greif9drler beG lobernbe 2aserfeuer
entaiinbet; 3elte iparen aufgef4lagen,
unb, pdbrenb bic @ofie IN langen
2inien angebalftert iparen, rubten' bic
Manni9aften am barten 8oben. @raf
Zeppelin unb Mlbre9t faben auf einem
Jelsporiprunee UNI l1fer unter bi1<
tenn @ebiif4 unb fpra9en BON ber
fernen 9eimatb. Mlbre9t mar 9an>
feat unb ber @raf Elm Miirttembers
ger-aber bic beutf9e @tammesgenofs
ienf9aft f4ldgt i'm Nuslanbe ense
8dnbe Inn Gorb= ltnb @iibbeuti9e-
unb 10 faben 1ie unb plauberten balbs
laut, tpdbrenb bon Weitem bic melans
9olif9en SDne elmer 3tebbarmOntta
beriiberflangen unb oben am 9immel
bas berrli9e &reua bes Siibens In
boiler pradt itrablte.
.9Dren @te bic 6armonifa, Rame>
rab9" fragte @raf Zeppelin pl0blid
nad elmer tleinen paufe i'm GefprG9e.
rgs 1T fonberbar, mid fttmmen bieie
SDne jebesmal tpebntiitbig unb ipei9.
llnb aud beute-"
Mlbre9t la9te. ,@entimental i'm
erften 6elblaser9 Warten Sic bamtt,
Biz mir ndber am 5einbe iinb-ober
nod befer, berf9eu9en Sic bic @rtl=
len gang, 9err @raf! Wenn mir ben
Seinb bor uns baben, tperben lie
Sbnem foipieio perseben, mein' i9,"
Ser iunge Offaier nit benz blonz
ben 0ollbart, Der Elm feines, blai1es
Gefi4t umrabmte, lGdelte fin Dor ii9
bin.
rSie baben gut reben, 9err Oofz
tor! Menn i9 cine Natur bdtte, tpie
mein Onfel, Der alte Zeppelin -@ie
tpifen, Der 1870 ben beriibmten paz
trouiaenritt ndd 5rantreth binein
madte, ebe nod bic beutfden Srups
pen ben Mbein iiberf9rittsn batter
ia, bann ipdr's anbers. Ser mar Elm
forf9erer Rerl als i9-eine berbe Rei=
ternatur. Mber i'd"
rMi6 beu9t', sic iinb be19eibener,
als nDtbis, ipenn sic Sbr 2i9t 70
unter ben @9eTel ftellen tpolIen,"
iparf 9llbre9t Elm. Mber ber @raf
5udte bic M4feln.
.Sn ber S4la9t tpirb man iiber mid
ni@t au flagen baben-baau BIN i1
gu febr Solbat, unb bic ulanennatur
ftedt mir aus meiner Militdraeit nod
gu febr in ben Rnohen. Qber i9
CLAUDE an Nbnungen, unb sic foIIen
feben, unter ben erften, bic iie begraben,
iperbe id fein. Wollen @te meine
Mutter sriiBen, tpenn @te se1unb aus
benn Gelb5uge fommen91
ct ftredte benz Rameraben bic 6anb
Bin, bic biefer NIT berali9em Drude
ergriff.
rSie periprehen mir's9" fragte
Zeppelin. sd bante Sbnen! llnb
nun CUTE Nadt!"
(Jprtiebyng folgt).
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
Ser Mppetit einer 9ieae

tpiro BON alien, oeren Wtaeen unb
2eber franfbaft iinb, Benedict, OBJ
tpubl iie piiien ioaten, baB "Dr.
Kings New Life Pills" ben Mp=
petit tpieberberltellen unb cine quite
8eroauung iibern, lptpie bas ganse
Spitem itdrfen. Sour Is Gents. 8u
baben bel s. &alteper & Sobn,
DrDguiiten.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
MQerlei.

- Sn ibrer WDbnung @de pDn
Gan 6ernanbu= uno gDn6D@StraBe
tpuroe Siabella Gru5 Ga1nus toot
oufgefunben. Sic par NIT elmer
art eri6laeen tporoen. Der Ser
ba9t, Die 9bat begangen gu babet1,
ricbtet iib eegen ibren Mann, Der
flubtia getpproen 1T, aber brei
8riefe 5urudlieB, aus tpelben berz
pDrgebt, bab i'm Die @iferlubt
plaete unb baB er an Der Treue iei=
ner Jrau stpeifelte. Das Baar bat
flint &tnber, tpopon oas jiingIte ant
bertbalb Wpnat aft lift.
= Ser Zimmerman S. W. SEC
&asfill fiel bel benz 9antpmann'z
lben 9eeubau in Der Commerce
StraBe bonn @eriift oreiBie SUB tief
ltnb brah elm 8ein. 49, 8. Wartin,
Der BEL Mideliobn aneeiteQt lit unb
WesquitblDde ibneibet, eerietb nit
Der 6ano in Die Sdee unb bas
@lieb tpurbe ibm am 6anbaelenf
abeetrennt.
: SIN Suffrage nDrbliber aapi=
tali1ten bat Der Staatslbabneilter
@. 8. @prtban $4,000 8erar
County 8riidenz8onos gefauft. Die
49% 3inlen bringen.
= 9as DAILY Light" bat li6
in bem eleeanten 9auie, gfe BON
2olopa= unb grDdettz StraBe nieoer=
eelalien uno nit 6em umsu9 cine
Menee 8erbeiierungen norgenom=
men, Die ben 8etpeiB liefern BON
Der 8rDsperitat unleres lebenbigen
Nbenbblattes. Inter ben Werbeffez
rungen lit cine neue 8reiie an5uflb=
rem, Die einen &oitenaufmano BON
$4,000 perltr1ahte.-
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
GS rettete ieim 8eim.

s.. u. Danfortb BON Ga @ranee,
@a., ertrue fiirdterlide Shmeraen,
bic BON elmer freiienoen @unoe an,
8eine berriibrten, unb er ibreibt,
oaB ,8udlen Grnica Salbe" bic
ielbe in 5 Taeen beilte. Sir Saut-
ausihlae, pffene Wunoen, Shnitte
&C., lit n8udleu's Irnica Salbe"
Die bette in Der Welt. Sour 25 gts.
8u baben bel s. 8alteper & Spbn.
Qroauiiten,
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
Gin QDeiser tpiro aelb.

@roBe BeitiirSung rief es bel ben
Sreunben bon 80. q. 6Ogartp, 2ez
rineton, &p., berpor, ais ite iaben,
baB feline 0autfarbe iid nad) uno
nab in @elb pertpanoelte. gr litt
firbterli1 unter Der @elbludt. Ct
tpurbe BON ben beiten Ner5ten be-
ban6elt. ieoob obne ieeliben Gr=
folg. @s tpuroe ibm oann an=
eeratben, Electric Bitters", Die
befannte Maeen= uno Qeber Mebis
Gin, gu nebmen, unb er i6reibt:
rNa9oem id] 2 Jlaiben gebrauht
batte, mar ib pollfpmmen gebeilt.
Cine 8robe tpirb Seben BON leinen
ipDbltbdtigen Iirfuneen auf ben
Wagen unb Die 9eber iiber5eugen.
Sour so Gents. .3u baben bel S.
&alteper & Spbn, Droauiften.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
0os 8eid1s ; Mearine : Imt il

= Das 8eihs Marine Mmt in
Berlin bat neben benz 8eierbabnbuf
in Bremen bier Sbuppen eemietbet,
bic als Sammel<Wagaaine fir Die
na1 Oltaiien beitimnten Sitter bic
men iollen. Nuf &dbnen iollen bann
bic Glitter Die 8eler abtpdrts nah
Bremerbapen befDroert tueroen.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
Mus gierifo.

@ir entnebnen Der in Der 6aupt
itaot Merifo eri6einenoen vDeut
3tg. T. Werifo" sSplgenoes:
= Serum gegen @elbes sSieber
/ Der Nmerifaner &ilpatrid, tpelde
BON @eracrus nit @elbem sSiebe
bier anfam un0 i'm amerifaniib ibet
/ 6oipital eepfleet tparo, 1T eerettet
8ier ginlpribunaen NIT bem bon
italienil6en gr5te Bellin5aebi ent=
oedten Serum tpurben ge11abt uni
spar in lbon iebr porgeriidtem
Stadium Der &ranfbeit, ndmli1 an
4. Sage. DaB Der &ranfe tpirflif
am @elben 5ieber litt, miro BON
peribie6enen Neraten, bic friiber
@elbfieberz&ranfe beban6elt baben,
beitdtigt, g.. g. BON Or. Bearipn,
6er friiber i'm ielben 6plpital ie9s
&ranfe bebanbelt fat, Die nit Jieber
BON Der &iiite bier anfamen uno
benIelben erlagen, iDtpie BON Or.
i yeDrton, Der in 5lurioa ipdbreno bes
&rieges BON Cuba einoetroffene
@elbfieberfranfe in 8ebanolung
! bate. 6uffen mir, baB bas in &io
be Saneiro entoedte !0eilmittel lt1
au6 in 8eracru5 betpdbrt, tppbin
Or. Bellin5agbi geben lpDllte. Oie
Ginlpribung 6es Serums in ge=
lunoe Wenl6en nerbiitet aub, oaB
oieielben bur6 @elbe8 Sieber anee<
lteft tperoen; nur muB Die ginIpri=
bung ieoe 5 bis 6 @oben erneuert
tperoen.
= BUR 8eleubtung Der Staot
oienen jebt ieben Ibenb 499 8Dgen=
lampen a 1000 &ersen, 377 a 1900
&eroen, SO @lubli6tlanpen a 40
&erSen uno % a 16 &ersen. Diele
Beleubtung fpitet Der StabtbebDroe
monatli6 $25, 1888.
= Die amerifaniibe Gplonie bat
auf ibrem Balle am uGierten Suli"
etne ginnabme BON ca. $2,97l ee-
babt; na9 Nb5ug Der unfoIten ner=
bleiben ca. 81 500, tpel9e Gulnlne
0aS srauen &on1ite fir bic Grim
bung zines Nipls fir 1rauen unb
pertpaiite &inber pertpenben mill.
= Horfirio 9ia3' @iebertuabl.
Mm lebten Mpntaa 8prmittae 10
llbr batten iih i'm @tabtbaule Die
8rdfibentenmdbler perlam1l,elt unb
fubren BON fort init electrilben Mae=
gons nod benz Sbfofie BON gbapul=
tepec; um benz 8rdlibenten Der STE
publif ansu5eieen, baB er in ben
feds Wabl Diitricten Der 6auptz
itabt einitimmig fir Die nd9Ite Brd=
iioenten= Heriooe tpieber ertpGblt lei.
Nus ben Staten Iinb feline 9ea6z
ribten iiber ben Nusfall Der @abl
per0ffentlibt oen-tpabri9einli9
bdlt man bas fiir gang uberfliiiiie,
benn Seoermann tpeiB ia. baB @ie=
manb anbers als Don 8orfirio fir
bieles Nnt getpdblt tperben fann.
Nm Sonntag fanoen AUDI Die n@ab=
len" fit ben 9eational= 9ongreB Itatt.
Die neiften Gbgeoroneten iino bte=
ielben, Die ibon frIber i'm &onereB
tparen.
= Die StabtbebDroe bat NIT Der
n@eudafel NspbaH gompaenie" lno
NIT Der r8arber Mspbalt gptnpag=
ME gontracte CUR 8flaiterung Der
StraBen abgelbloi1en. Die lebtere
miro 65 StraBen na1 amerifani=
ibem uno Die eritere so StraBen
na6 eurDpdii6em Spltem pflaitern.
Cine gompagnie felt brei perlbie=
oene Glaiien 8Haiter ber unb erbdlt
oafiir $11, $40 uno SO per Quabrat=
Meter; bic anbere gonpagnie bat
nur stuei @laiien aneeboten uno be-
tommt oafiir $10.95 reip. 1925.
Die erite gonpa9nie garantirt ibr
8flaiter fir 5ebn, Die stpeite fir Is
Sabre.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
q n tunft.
". 8. & =. Sabm.
81 B ia hrt

VI Drf.
Nab Haco, Sort @ortb, 9allas, &aniaa
9th, ct. 4ouis unb Chicago td9lif
(S. u. & q. .. 0epot) .7:45 Mor9ens.
Nab @aeo, Sort Wortb, Dallas &c. (pom
Suniet 0epot) 800 Mbenos
Mnfunft.
Bon Chicago, ct. 2onis, 8anias gitp.
OaDas, Sort @ortb uno g8aco, tI9lif
(Suniet Depot $3.50 Sorn
Bon Waco, Sort @Drtb, 9allas &c. (S.
u. & u. g. 0epot) ..... 1920 @benos
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
Wtabmfe 9ptel Sar,
Slt 9puitDn StraBe.
70 m. Mutb, go. Gigentbiimer

Wfan iinoet bier Elm pDrsiialibes
@las 8ier unlerer beimilben 8rauez
reien. 8eionoere Inerfeunllne per=
bienen Die @eine. Giearren, Wbisfies,
2iqu0re &c. Oiele Wirtblbaft erfreut
lib bes ausgeaeibneten 8ufes, gu
ben aneenebmiten slufentbaltsDrten
Der Staot su 5dblen,
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
= Wir batten bas gereuueen,
6errn 8rof. .. M u n D BON guero
in unierer Office gu beeriiBen.

= Manbe iasen, oaB fie nibt
ellen fDnnen; man nebme Or. Mu=
guit &0nig's 6amburger Tropfen,
brinee ben Maeen in Srbnung unb
Der Nppetit tpiro in furser Belt tpie=
Der bergeitellt lein.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19

8ie itebt's NIT Sbrer 2eber :?
Wenn ie biliDs lit, 10 periuhen Sic
r@roB Bmntters 9bee". (Jiir 25
gts. bel allen bieiisen apptbefern.)
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
3m bermiethem !!

SIM pberen Stpdtperf bes @ebdu=
bes Der n5reie Hreiie iiir 9eras"
iinb 4 WDbnaimmer gu permietbeu.
Nah5ufragen i'm 8arterre.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19

- Cine 9aiie BON g @rpBmut=
ters 9bee jeben Gag miro Sbr
Spltem BON allen nnreinigfeiten be-
freien. 8ei glpotbefern Is Gents
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
0mlf gbpre 8abm .
hfn hrt

Mbfabrt.
Nah Stodbale, taglid, aussenommen
Sonnta9S. ............ o:OO SDrn.
Mntunft.
Bon Stofbale, tdsli6. aussenommen
Sonnta9s. 9s................3 800 Nahm.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19

Die Sueeno ipribt pDm Nlter
tpie pDn einem nngliif, 6as fie ME
treffen fann.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19

i'm @arten=Diltrift bes Staates. @e=
lunbbeit unb &lima uniibertroffen.
8iliee 2dnoereien fir ben 5arner,
Warftedrtner, Oblt= unb 8ieb5iibter.
@eeen @inselbeiten penoetgub an
6. S: M a rtin, q. g. g.,
San glntonip, 9eras.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
0etrath8= EMetue.

6ermann Seffel unb @milpSimpn
Solepb &neib unb Warp gbaffin
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19

- Manber ipiiroe in 1ib geben,
menn er aus iib beraus fDnnte.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
q. u. & q. q. @abn.
w r r

stah @alpeiton, Souiton unb guero tdg<
Tia. .8:45 8ornt.
gsa8 Corpus gbriiti, aranias gab uno
Beenille tdslib. .2:2O ytabm.
Wab Borne nnb 8errpine, td9lib, aus
genpmmen Spnntags. =. .2:45 Hacbm.
Nab 86rne unb &errpille, SDnntogs -.
$3.50 Born.
Mnfunft.
Bon @alpefton, Souiton, uno guero tag
lich. 200 NbenbS.
Bon Corpus gbriiti, Mranlas BaB unb
Beepile tdglib b........... 100 9ta1m.
Bon B1rne nnb &errpille. tdglib, aus
genpmmen Spnntags -. 1855 TDrnt.
Bon 85rne unb 8erroille, Sonntags, -.
800 Mben6s.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
Gilenba1u Ta6r=@lan,
=. & 6. q. 8abn.

D q TT.
Nah ct. 2onis pia Sron WDuntain ober
so. 6. & 1880 >9tacbm.
Nab ct. Souls pia Sron Mountain
9Oute. e.................. $40 MbenDs.
Nah ct. 2ouis pia Sron Mpuntain
fah Searne tdalieb. 700 Morsens,
9eab 2arebo. o.,.,........,.. 9:45 Tnrn.
Mnfunft.
Bon ct. 9ouis, SrDn MDuntain 6 sc.
&. & 1880 &nrm.
BON Nprben. en.............9: 1925 Born.
Son Norben .......... 4:20 Nacbm.
Bon 6earne tdglicb ... 1l:20 Mbenbs.
8on 9arebo. 1920 Naebm,
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
ME beriibmte sxriiblimos. v} ebicin

Or. eieaert's ausotura gittsrs. Gin EbeeIoiiel
Dor osm Giien. yan bats I'D Dor 'ddoltden Tahs
abmuneen.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
gpmtberm Nacific 8abm.
WbfQhrt,

gsad 9aeiu Orleans, Spuiton unb @al~
beitpn tdelicb. -. 1900 Wttttags.
Nah 81 8aio, galifornien nno MeIifo
800 8efHl.
Racb Norb~1eras, ct. 9puis nnb gbica<
aD (Katy Flyer 800 9ben1s.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
Mntunft.

Son Norb<9eras, ct. 2Duis uno Chicago
(Katy Flyer $3.50 MDr9ens.
@on ySetp Orleans, Soufton unb @al~
neiton tdelieb. ........... .4:45 yeohin.
Bon 81 Ialo, galifornien unb Melifo
7:3O Nbenb8.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19
SiiomeitteraS luiinitt Gnd

8enn gbr gub irgenopo nieberz
lalien tpollt, tbut es entlang Der 2i<
ME Der
Sam Qlmtpaip & Qlramias
BAT Sabn,
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1900-07-19

8ir entnebnten Der in Ser 6auptz
itabt Merifo eri6einenoen vDeut.
3tg. T. Werifp" 5uleenbes:
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
MINNESOTA STATE NEWS
Flour Statistics.

From the standpoint Of statistics,
the flour mill year, which closed at
midnight, August 81, was the biggest
in the worlds history for any one
community. More than 14,500, 900 bar.
rels of flour were manufactured in
Minneapolis during the year, which is
an increase over the worlds record,
held by the Minneapolis mills last
year, when they produced 1929, ,2so
barrels. The general increase is taken
by some millers to mean that because
OF prosperous times people have been
eating more meat and less grain, as in
spite of the increased output, prices
and other conditions have not been
satisfactory, and the millers claim
that none of them has made any
money to speak Of during the year
just closed.
During this year the mills required
from $4,000, 900 to $4,000, 900 bushels o1
wheat, and even if the three great
states of the northwest should raise
120. 100000 bushels this. year, at least
half of it would be needed by Mime.
apolis mills, as all are making plans to
increase the output. OF the total,
also, fully 15,000,0o0 bushels will be
required for seed.
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Where Wit IL wild.

The Rocky mountain jester delights
you with violent, boisterous, unpredict-
able whimsicalities. He is manner
lessly frolicsome. There sat next me
at table married man who so rev.
erently adore6 his wife that in our
presence he uniformly addressed her IS
"Old Sweet Apples" Looking up from
his plate one morning at breakfast, he
soliloquized in this fashion: Folks, -
said he, II don't know where I'd be
if it wasn't for my wife," The lady
beamed affectionate appreciation.
Nope continued the proud husband
II don't know where I'd be if it wasn't
for my wife-she's great drawback -
Boston Transcript, D..
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Foreisners in New Enrl.nd.

An unusually large number of for.
eign immigrants appear to be settling
at present in some parts of the New
England states, where they obtain
work in the cotton mills and in con
nection with other industries. Late.
~, 1t IL said, in Connecticut and
Rhode Island the preference has been
given to Greeks, while in the Fall
River mills large number Of Portu.
guese and Poles have found employ.
.ment.- Chicago Times-Herald, -@
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Their First Quarrel.

"Well," said Mrs. CORVALLIS West
after they were fairly started on their
honeymoon, 1--WE are partners for life
now, aren't we, dear?''
Yves, darling" he replied, "and you
are the senior partner, too, aren't
why, lovey, what's the matter? There,
there, little girl, don't Chicago
Times-Herald.
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14

"Speaking of the races, wasn't it the
two-mile dash free-for-all that Binks
lost all his money on?"
eyes. Why?"
Nothing, only remember he used
about two-mile dash in expressing
himself after it was over."- Chicago
Tribune.
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Partlv ouslined.

"What is his occupation?" asked the
warden Of the penitentiary, referring
to the latest arrival.
He hasn't any regular occupation p
said the subordinate. HE is nothing
but ward heller"
"All' right" rejoined the warden.
Put him in the shoemaking depart
ment. Tribune.
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
AbdOminQl1

Miss Brown-What's the matter
with your husband? Some stomach
trouble, isn't it?
Mrs. Malaprop-Oh, worse'n that!
The doctor didn't specificate. He just
said it was some "severe abominable
complaint" t."-Philadelp Press.
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Will Perish Of Thirst.

On account of its weight water
tends to descend into deep holes;
while the center of the globe remains
in fiery condition this absorption is
slow but rs thesooolinggof the interior
goes on the surface water will pene-
ntrate more and more and will enter
into; combination with the recently
"solidifed rocks in the heart of the
earth which are specially absorptive
by reason Of their metallic compost
tion. The oceans will grow, smaller
and smaller; the rains which nourish
the continents will become rarer and
rarer, while the de4efts will enlarge
their boundaries and gradually absorb
the fertile plains Chicago Chronicle.
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
A Spartan Father.

A Spartan Father.
Miss Jackson (tragically)-H yo'
don't let me marry Jim Loafley, I'll
drowned mahse'f!
Papa Jackson-Wall, honey, rs
often heard dat dat wuz an easier
death den starvation.-Puck.
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Not a Fault Finder.

"You are not one of these men who
find fault with the cooking at home?'
NO." answered Mr.. Meekton; II
don't exactly find fault, but occasional
ly do feel called on to apologize for
the way things taste when Henrietta
gets home from the club. You see, I
never could learn to make good coffee"
|-Washington Star. i,
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
For Instance.

Aunt Sally-These summer boarders
puts all sorts Of nonsense into the
young peoples heads.
Aunt Hannah-That's sol All the
young gals in this village is worryin'
about their freckles.-
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
An Experienced Architect.

Administrations what size house
would you like?
Gottrich-It need not be large. We
have few friends.
Architect-Ah, but you will have
plenty of friends when your new
house is done.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Pa u
Most Decidedly.

"Pardon me for asking you, madam"
said Rev. DR.. Good man, making q
friendly call upon the family who had
lately moved into the neighborhood.
''but have you any church. connec'
tions?''
my, yes!" answered the smiling
matron. "Two of my cousins are Bap.
tist preachers, and my aunt married q
Methodist class leader" - Chicago
Tribune.
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Touched.

Tho Parson-Don't you think I
touched them rather deeply this
morning?
The Deacon-I don't know.
haven't counted up yet.-1ndianapols
Pre21
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14

Jones-A few years ago boys read
Indian stories, got false ideas of life,
and then ran away from home to
fight redsdns. This is all changed
now.
Smith-Yes; now they read the
monthly magazines, and when they,
run away from home, they go to the
city to marry the girl in tho corset
advert
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Had H1a nonhfa.

"They say" said the landlady, ''that
q piece Of steak dropped into liquid
air can be broken with hammer"
"Steak like this?" asked the sandy
whiskered boarder, in a tone of mild
Observation-Disclosures Press,
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Got Even.

He cuty uncle out. The maid
:, - Was willing. =
But the 4 h old fellow laughed to scoff,
And subsequently cut him on
b.. With shilling.
-ChicaRo Tribune. - L.. =
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Envi0uR Admiration

When Mandy gifts little riled listen by
the hour,
In steady admiration Of her oratoric power.
Ef I'd her gift of language, lofty heights
I'd surely reach,
Cause wouldn't git tstage-frightened every
time made speech.
-Washington Star.
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
May Have Picked Them o.t.

May Have Picked Them Oat. ::
"Queen Victoria keeps always On
hand box of cigars for her guests,
but the latter are never permitted to
smoke in the presence of her majesty"
"Perhaps her majesty knows how
much the cigars cost hundred. Chi
caRo Times-Herald.
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Wherein They Diner.

"Aefed1 V6ey U10eF.
"Papa, what's the difference be.
tween q defaulter and = bank rob-
ber?"
Zone is . respectable gentleman and
the other : disreputable. scoundrel,
my child."-Yonkers Herald. -
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
The Old Man, Secret.

They tell me I am handsome yet,
And the ladies, bless them. say:
''Do look at him; the dear old boy
Really grows younger every day."
And when asked: How at your age,
Are you 50 free from ills?''
Ny answer always Is the same
Because promptly pay my bills."
Chicago Daily News,
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Ffon His Point OF View.

Hicks-Do you and your wife ever
get into an argument?
Wicks-No. I.try to argue with her
sometimes, but all she ever does IL to
make lot Of unfounded assertions IN
/ 1eply.-Somerville Journal.
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Why Miss lie Grande decided not &c
bathe.-Harlem Life.
Poor Economy.

find I'm losing flesh, but not because
I'm overworked or breaking natures laws;
It Is that may save little pelf-
I've just begun to try to shave myself.
-Jud9e
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
WE Crusty nachelo,

Friend-Where are you going?
Crusty Bachelor-To . tea. r..
Friend-Iuformal? -
Crusty Bachelor-No; internal.
Syracuse Herald. rs 5$
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
Al tn thu BIRD.

''You call your parrot Money see.
Money talks" <s~- s>: ~. Ill.
''Not at all. Don't tell anyone, but
I call him that because nobody about
the house can make him fly as well a
my wife can" Chicago Tribune. !,
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14

Guest-Hi, there! proprietor! there's
chicken in this egg!
y Proprietor-Sorry if you're disap.
pointed, but times are hard, and We
can't afford canvas-back ducks in the
eggs, sir.-Chicago Chronicle.
The Worthington advance., 1900-09-14
'witchinr Hour

II find I can cultivate the muse bet
ter at night, j" said the poet.
eyes," replied the blind man, '.that's.
the favorite time for the commission Of
me.'-Philadelphia NORTH Ameri.
can. .*SfS Is. Ss5.5 : I5. S s5.