The Portland daily press., 1900-06-20
QUEER CALLINGS.
Some singular Occupations Found by
Census Men I'm New York CITY.

There can be no better illustration of
the truth Of the moss-grown expression
that ''one-half the world does not know
how the other half lives" than is found
in the discoveries made by q number of
census agents, says the New York Mail
and Express. Occupations that were
never known TO exist have been unearthed
by these questIoners, and hav given the
students of odd jobs and unique liveli-
hoods food for much thought.
For instance, who ever heard OF man
in GreaterlNew York.: whose sole bust
ness, Improbable as it may seem, is 1.-THE
making of monstrositiesY This distin-
guished individual lives ON Seventh ave-
N ne, and turns out sea serpents and mer-
maids as readily as the tailor cuts a pair
of trousers.
One of the census takers dropped into
East Forty firth street, and found on a
door that confronted him ut the third
landing the name '.Prof. Abunson.
The professor had long whiskers and oon-
siderable volubility, and said, In reply to
the query as to his occupation, that he
was professional spanker. He showed n
business card, and an advertisement in
German papsr which said: 'Uuruly
and hayward Buys disciplined at parents
residences.
Usually census taker does not ask any
unnecessary questions, but this one was
so interested in the strange vocation of
the long hafred professor that he spoke
quite feelingly Of what "a pleasant occu-
patton 1t must be. The census taker has
seven boys, who are said to be experts in
the art of deyilish anoyances. II always
see the culprit before L decide upon the
amount of punishment said the PROBES
sor. Sometimes they see me first, and
then lose a job.
las rule, inflict the punishment In
a room in which there Is u clock. al
ways insist that the parents tell me how
long | am to spank the refractory boy.
Girlss Oh, no, never spank girls. l
had call once from man who said he
had very maynard son. / called, and
found Yale graduate, 5 feet 10 inches
in his hose, and as he tAreatened to throw
me out OF the window unless hmme,
diately left by the door, l did not stand
upon the order of my going. Some par
ents find IL hard to chastise their boys
They call me in, and / do the job.
One of the census takers discovered
close to Fort Greene Park in Brooklyn
man named Brenner, with q sign residing
I"CocSroach Killer to United states
| Navy" Bootmakers to Her Majesty the
| Queen and candlestick makers to his
| Royal Highness the Prince of Wales are
| eclipsed by this novel occupation. The
cockroach killer made his reputation"
% years ago, when he removed u barrels
| of reaches from the old wallsided Pensa-
cola He does it with sort of paste,
and il an expert, so much 30 that he was
examined by the navy department when
years ago Capt. McCalla, then on trial
| for cruelty to the sailors of the Enter
prise, said that the reason he could not
read the ARTICLES OF war;" as required,
was that the cockroachess had eaten this
great document.
Another queer occupation discovered Is
conducted by n man who calls people.
His chief customers are those who have
| to get up Mt unusually early hour, such as
| bartenders, policemen, motormen and the
Like. ats not very profitable, though,
| he said, land somstimes it's dangerous.
| I've been arrested several times for going
| into Railways before daylight, and once
got "a black eye from a man who threw
AN alarm clock at me when l called
him."
| Up on broadway near Fifty-seventh
| street Is a man whose business it is to bite
OFF dogs tails. He says the animals must
| be OF an age at which their tails will be
tender. lie doesn't believe In knife,
because every dogs tail has worm in 1t,
and the only way TO remove 1t Is TO bite
the tail Off. The cause of all the disease
of dogs In this worm, he adds. The man
had dusty, dingy place and a funeral
look THAT inspires confidence In those
seeking his aid in his remarkable occupa-
| ton.
One Bob Watt gives as his business the
composing of speeches, plays, monologues
poems and even comedies. He shows any
number of orders for dramas to contain
ten persons and five acts"
4 man named Kelley charges $3.50 for
destroying bad trees; "a woman in Harlem
trains college men for plays; three firms
furnish clean jackets for bartenders and
charge from 50 cents to 81 per week. Even
the women on the East side who make IA
business of lighting ii ne on holidays are
vap,a,,, harad n, the list