Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-03-07
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- say, sdiu tne leacner, " the
pupil loves his teacher what sort of
sentence is thatY Sarcastic" said
the boy.-Tit-Bits
Wife-I wish l could get something
to keep the rats from coming INTO the
house. Husband-Why don't you do
your own cooking ?-Harlem Life.
II see that Mrs. Kruger always cuts
Dom Paups hair" Say, you can't ex-
pect such a man to be afraid of any
thing on earth, can youT-Cleyeland
Plain Dealer.
Tailor-Look here! have worried
myself sick over that bill of yours. Cas-
ket (the undertaker)-Thats all right
old man. If worst comes to worst, you
can take 1t out In trade.-Tit-Bits.
Tired Tompkins-There's one Job I
wouldn't mind havin', Horace. Hun
CRY Horace Qn amazemenD-What's
that? Tired Tompklns-Lineman fer
er wireless telegraph comp'ny.--Life.
Curious old lady-How did you come
to this, poor man? Convict was drove
to 1t, lady. Curious old lady-Were you,
really? Convict-Yes, they brung me
In the van, as usual.-Philadelpha
Press.
He-To prove the sincerity of my in
tentions, have brought this solitaire
adornment for your engagement finger.
She-1 must say, my friend, that your
speech has the true ring.-Boston
Courier.
His sensations: Mrs. McGorry-How
did yez fale phwin dhe dintist was
pullin' yure lathe? McGorry-How did
l fale, is ut? Bedadl Oi regretted wild
ahl me hear-rt thot OF wasn't born a
hen!-Puck.
She-What relief this conservatory
Is after that crowded ballroom. l felt
as If were being crushed to death.
He-Yes, 1t was rather close. She-But
feel perfectly safe here with you.-
Town Topics.
Tit for tat: First Little Girl-Tm
never going to speak to you again;
your father keeps saloon. Second
Little Girl-And Pm not going to speak
to you any more; I saw your. father
go into it.-Puck.
Wife-What's the white stuff on your
shoulder? Husband-Chalk, from
billiard cue, you know. Wife (sniffing
Hereafter wish you to use chalk
that doesn't smell like toilet POWDER
New York Weekly.
Wickwire-Look here! This Is the
fourth time this morning you have
been In here asking for the price of a
meal. Dismal Dawson-Yep, am the
absent-minded beggar, don't ye know.
indianapolis Press.
A misapprehension: "Was that your
dog that was bowling all night ~. II
guess 1t was" "Why in thunder don't
you feed himT Heavens, man, it's
indigestion that makes him how'll
Cleveland Plain Dealer. as
Mrs. Careful-ThIs is the watch my
husband gave me. Her friend-Why.
It isn't going. Is 1t broken2' Mrs.
Careful-O, no! You see, don't wind
1t at all. That keeps the works from
wearing ut.-Philadelphia Press.
Carrie-Tell me- Kate, how was 1t
you did not marry Mr.. Tyler? Kate
He told me was the only woman he
ever loved. If a man will lie to you
before marriage, what stories won't he
tell afterward? ?-Boston Transcript.
Bobbs-I see that man has invented
q typewriter that you sit down and
talk to and 1t writes out everything you
say. Dobbs-I guess I'll keep mine.
She doesn't write everything say, and
I'm glad of it.-Baltimore American.
"My proudest boast" declared the lee
turer, who expected his statement to
be greeted with cheers, sis that l was
one Of the men behind the gunsv'
How many miles behind" plped a
voice from the gallery.-Philadelphia
Press.
'Don't you ever lose your temperT
asked Mr.. Meekton's friend, admiring-
ly. "Oh, yes" was the answer. Some
times Henrietta reads something aloud
which she says is unjust and wrong,
and then get as indignant as can be-"
Washington Star.
See mere, uellduueu TIE lIuic GUS
toner, as by the aid Of the mirror he
detected pucker across his back.
what does this meanT THAT, sir"
explained the quick-witted tailor, lis
the latest wrinkle Rec
ord.
"Do you know" said the man in the
gray ulster, that police statistics show
a total of nearly 10000 persors who
Gre reported missing every year?''
'f'll bet more than half Of them aren't
i, missed at all. They only think they
are" responded the pessimistic man.
Chicago Tribune. 'sss. ,s.4Ss
A success: "Was the wedding sue
cessY' 81 guess so. The BRIDES motner
was in tears, the groom's mother went
her one better and had Mysteries, you
couldn't hear word of the ceremony,
and the church was SO crowded th3s
three women tainted. Yes, 1t was =,
success all right"-Llfe.