The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-11-18
Fun Of the Word.


plaster.
DO you want white or black flesh
coiored?"
zgg
Sir. Thaddeus is one Of the few artists /
VINO have enrced Pope Leo into posing {
for his portrait While he was az work +
on his canvas. ne says. the aged pontin. (
how old you make me-" Are you NOT (
old?'' asked the artist IN dismay. ~Ah. /
that may be-" said the Pope. but the {
Papacy-the idea I represents always /
x ZEE
This" said the drug clerk, is q most /
wonderful hair renexer It's our own
preparation.
well, give me a bottle" said the bald
headed man. But, say. come to think
of it, why don't YOU use it, You are
pretty bald yourself"
81 can't use It. You see, I'm the be
fore using clerk The after using clerk
is out at lunch. You should see him"
K x x
When Nasr-ed-Din, the father OF the
present shah, made his memorable tour
Of the principal European capitals some
years ago, he visited King Leopold et
Belgium, at the Chateau &c Lacken.
When he saw the queen surrounded BY
her Iadies-in- waiting. the old Shah said
to the king: Your harem, siree' The
question took the king so much by sur
prise that he did not fer a moment re-
ply. and the Shah. taking his silence for
consent, looked critically along the line
and added, mildly but decidedly: you
viii have TO renew it,
x < x
An old Trishman occupied barber
chair recently and he was drowsv. His
ewes could not be kept open, and his
head rolled about and dropped over up
on his shoulder and down upon his chest
in a way that made shaving difficult
oDerafion for the knight Of the lather,
and dangerous one for the patient
At last the barber said, gently but
firmly
shave you unless you hold up your
head.
To which the response was made, with
drowsy Indifference:
well, thin. coot my hair"
A gentleman dating from the Univer-
sitv of Pennsylvania writes TO the Ma
ton to expostulate with the publishers
Of a recent translation of Iolstol
Resurrection" for allowing certain ig-
ures to appear in the text. She was
already 27' and "He moved his arm 3D.
Of good literature. He concludes his let
ter by wondering whether the next ed
ton OF Tennyson may not contain eel
ebrated poem printed after this fashion:
y lea. = lea,
= lea onward,
Into the valley Of death
Rode the coo
4 z < z
It is rather odd that the death Of Sims
Reeves should follow so closely on that
of Madame Sainton Dolby's brother. for
all three were friends Of Chares Dick
ems. saws the Westminster Gazette. The
latter was once presiding at dinner
where Sims Reeves had been engaged to
sing. Dickens made the too familiar
announcement that, owing to indisposi-
+ion the great tenor could not appear
There was a ripple OF laughter. to Dick
ems disgust ut is within my knowl-
edge" he said, in his severest tones,
chat my friend Mr.. Sims Reeves is SUI
fering from an unfortunately amusing
and highly facetiOus cold. which pre-
vents his coming here tonight" There
was no more laughter after that
& X X u
Mrs. Nutsu. whose death has recently
been announced was one Of the most
attractive women who ever presided az
the Japanese legation at WASHINGTON D
C. Her end it is said, was fastened by
her sorrow for the death q her nus
band. which occurred three years age
Mr. and Mrs. Mutsu were a most devoted
couple, and when Mr.. Mutsu was sta
toned at the national capital they were
constantly seen together. Asked at an
afternoon tea what was Minister Mutsu
favorite sport, his gentle little wife 10 X
ed mo archlv and said. con, madam,
nv husband he liked TO hirt best Of
ali things in the world. He think this
American sport most adorable. We firL
and hirt all Gay long. I flirt with him.
he hirt with me"
* Z
'Thev do things their own way no IN
New England" said the tramp on the
park bench. rs he gazed ut big toe
peeping through his shoe. 'For instance
up I'm New Hampshire I was crossing
field when a bull took after me. As
ne was about to pick me UP on his horns
lodged and he went fun tilt against
tree and broke mis- neck
s'We1. what vss done?' was asked
'eWhy. they arrested me for tresDass.
On TOP of that they charged me with i'm
cit,,v buu to mischief Then 7 was
held for the worth Of the bull ard be-
fore they got through with me I was
in Jail for eleven months. I'd nave got
auofber month IF there hadn been a
slim. When the bull broke his neck me
farmer's wife tainted away. and they
meant to tack on thirty days more 10
nav the farmer for her lost time while
! unconscious
x
when Nine Eames was making
western tour recently she consented 10
sing at a church festival in aid Of the
cathedral Of q certain prominent city
/ The church authorities decided 10 cnarRe
an admission fee to the catnedr3I ~ al
Who wished T. hear the great singer.
Most people paid willingly. but one crank
/ demanded admission en- the ground ilaL
he should not be charged for going INTO
public place Of worship Do y0a
mean ~ ten me-" he argued with the
! do0rkea per chat shau require ticket
/ to enter the kingdom ~ heaven
ssWeH. no." explained tha ticket seller
( suavely. "bgt then YOU won't hear Nine.
I 7gau1es Yn heaven" Then when the en- p
n,itv az sis remark dawusi upon him
that ticket seller turned and fed.
/ Hiram had returned home from o9l-
f iere where he had won higa aouors ~
+ q student of The ancient lang1as e7 odt
~ 'felI down" orc DAY when be SISTER
demnre young girl in her teens sSel
him 20 translate sign she had seen IN
front o. an eptici7n's 1ffce. vhicn read
TINS.
+ cox sT-T.TU SAB0 T-TT0 T-FT1y Es-
Hiram struggled nanfglv with e ter
& Faveras minutes and gave if ~
1T isn't GOOD Tatin 30 sf3 There
arr some words t thH IRE Latin ut
tns others srs either wrong 81 tarm me-
ten ~ ere Eaar frm otrer a7
e7iaes ard taken vhale. e ese
+ make senee
rh 7f ssf8" rsffa8 rs
SISTER 1u Ker1ran 1ut i1 t-a Etehe~
translates p witncu- anv t~rR See
saws a rrsans Consist Us ahUt sour