The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-11-23

az IN" pIMr, ana, hcavlng deep sigh,
">Iissus, I'll hey to pay (. the penny
after all. for | find that l can't eat the
plate. -Pearson Weekly.
\ friend was once speaking to the late
1;iSEop Brooks OF Il clergyman whose
congregation had begun to feel that it ;
would be advisable for them to have a
Younger man in the pulpit. Its only |
renlonStrance from the bishop. for YOU
see he's on the shady side Of CO. 1.-THE
shady side'.' 1etorted the bishop, with a !
smile; "why. YOU mean the sunny side. I
Surely, it's tho side nearest glory'''
Mr.. Suhurb-'What on earth are you
trying t. do. neighbor!'
little Of the paling, SO that l can move
my chicken Coup over into your yard'
"Eh! My yard?'
Yes. I like to be neighborly and con-
siderate OF other peoples feelings, you
know
eyes, you shan't have any more cause
to complain about my chickens scratching
up your yard.'
But YOU are moving your whole coop
over on to my property
'"That's the idea. Quick Us the chickens
find their coop in your yard, they'll fancy
that YOU own them. and will spend the
rest Of their natural lives scratching in
my yard, you know. Tit Bits.
Tess-"Nr. Pcppery is just hateful"
JeSs~''What has he been doing to
your
Tess-''He gave me his seat in the car
today, and then, leaning over, sail L
beg your pardon. must be getting hard
-lIc
Philadelphia Press.
You have daughter, nave YOU not,
sir:' Sd id a minister to an old gentleman
with whom he had formed Il casual ac-
quaintance as fellow passenger.
The old gentleman essayed to answer,
but the question had strangely affected
him.
Il beg your PARDON" said the minister,
If | have thoughtlessly awakened in
your mind recollectionS OF a painful nat
ure. The world is full of sorrow, sir.
and perhaps my, question recalls to your
memory fair, beautiful girl whose bios
,bleom: Am I right, STRIP
mo- not exactly replied the old gem
tlcman sadly. Il have five unmarried dar-
tersE mister. an the Youngest of the lot
is % years old. Tit Bits.
Dolly was out for walk and met an
old friend of her grandfather. And how
old are you, little one?" asked the old
gentleman. But Dolly was indignant.
I'm hardly cd at all: I'm nearly new"
she answered, tossing her head.-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
The lady reporter had been detailed to
procure the names of prominent persons
III attendance at performance of grand
opera.
Il beg yonr pardon. madam" she said,
approaching one of the occupants of
private box, but will you oblge me by
giving me your name?'
Mrs. Archibald 10 Neez"," replied the
pardon me- said the reporter. Il
did not quite catch the last name."
"May ask you how to spell it?'' -.
'Certalnly JONES, 10 NeeZe,'
haughtily answered the occupant of the
box, and the reporter retired to fan her.
SELF
"Clara," said a mother to her little 8
year-old daughter, who had been spend
ing the day with a neighboring playmate,
"Wcre you good girl during your WIS.,
it," Il don't know, mamma; had just
so much fun that forgot to pay any at
tention to myself. "-Boston Post.
During the great Chesterfeld's wan
behring's abroad he once rested at an inn
which was kept in any but a neat conGi-
but even the dishes from which the
guests were expected to eat were dirty.
This was too much for Lord Chester
| field. and he soundly rated the waiter.
"Everyone must eat his peck of Dirt
TIE latter coolly observed.
no one is obliged to eat it all ut once"
Mrs. Sothing-''Tm afraid you're go
ing to buy a drink with that twoDence
| gave yOu.'
Bill Bumpers-''Ye didn't size me
gauge, lady. Twopence don't buy me no
| drink. 1t jist gifts me taste '-AIodcrn
| Society.
"Yes>r,'' said the returned Klondikcr,
lone Of my dog :; s. common mon
And you were not heartless enough to
sell him, were you?" they asked.
Nav. l ate him" --IndianaDolis
Press.
An Irishman was wheeling a heavy
barrel up a street the other day when
some one asked him; mike. what have
| NUu SOl Ill lIlII UtlTIcl ron me word.
! | hardly know meself. for it has whisky
Oh one side and Pat Duffy on the other'
-:O:-
| Bobbs-"N hobbs joined the great major
ity last Tuesday morning.
| Dobbs-"Poor fellow, l am shocked to
learn Of his DEATH
| Bobbs-"Oh, he didn't die. He voted
for Mckinley" -Baltimcre American.
| The late John NJ. Palmer was one of
the wits Of public life. When he retired
! from the Senate he showed no signs Of.
encouragement but said to some friends:
| Patience is all need. come into fash
ion about every ten years in Illinois,
Husband arrives from lodge at a. n.
second meeting in one week.
| Wife-"rm jist past speakin' tae yev'
| Husband-"Od! Jean, I'm g-g-glad tae
hear that. I'll ken whan tae come hame
! after this.'-Glasgow Evening Times: