The sea coast echo. [volume] (Bay Saint Louis, Miss.) 1892-current, 1900-05-12
THE HAPPY MARRIAGE.
Elle Wheeler Wilcox.

! We hear much Of unhapp.
marriages, but little of the hap
| pv ones. The latter bear thel
/ fruits as does the apple tree, whit
the former are attended by al
! the noise of tree crashing to tn
ground. It's because happlnes
in marriage IS quiet and self-eon
tanned, and matrimonial intellect.
is too often loud-spoken, that IN
experienced or superficial person
are apt to acquire distorted lde;
of the whole institution of mar
riage. A little horn-blowing from
the army of husbands and wlye:
who are happy in their married
lives would be useful III keeping
false impressions of matrlmony
from the minds of an opportunl'
ty to sound little blast myself.
Ny own happy marriage and
close observation of the lives OF
others have made me feel we'll
/ qualified to speak on this subject.
. I am convinced that there IS q
much greater volume of happi-
ness in marriage than those whose
N atrimonial knowledge is obtain
ed chiefly from the newspapers
and gossips would suppose. As a
matter of fact, there are more
successes than failures in this Vi
I tai relationship of life. The num-
Der of failures is small compared
/ to the immense number of mar
riages. But it would be very
much smaller than it is, if men
and women were less selfish. The
married condition in its essence
is one of mutual advantage and
mutual surrender, and is thrown
completely out of balance by at
tempts on either side to enjoy
the the benefits without yielding
equal ones to the other.
To the young couple beginning
married life, | cannot say more,
! in a general way, than this: Be
unse1fish in your relations with
one another. Consider not mere
Iy the physical comfort and we'll
being, but also the feelings Of the
otherhalf of the family. Give in
dividual prejudices or even pecu-
liarities little room, remember
ing that you have them yourself,
although yours do not, of course,
seem like peculiarites to you.
Your husband has his own sphere,
that of business. Do not entire
" surrender your own sphere to
| him, except where the common
good Of both demands it. Retain
| your individuality of thought and
action; he will respect and admire
YOU the more for it. There is
such a thing as a husbane and wife
seeing too much of one another.
| think there is more danger of
disaster in early marriages than
IN those contracted at full matu-
rity. The youthful choice is apt
| to be unwise. The man whom q
girl thinks she loves at seventeen
would rarely appeal to her SO
strongly if she were twenty-five,
and the girl whom a young man
of twenty-one believes he would
like to marry would probably not
be his selection if he were thirty
| A knowledge of the world before
marriage is conducive to content
ment afterwards. The most un
fortunate unions | have knowl
were formed while the husband
and wsfe were still in early youth
1.-The man, when he assumes th'
responsibility of matrimony be
fore he has reached maturity, ha
| had little or no experience IN th'
typical bachelor life, and its at
fractions are likely to seem mucl
greater to him than if he has al
ready tested them. The wife
who was married very early als'
feels the temptation to taste o
life beyond the prosaic domestic
circle, although unusually in les
degree than the man. She ha
not experienced enough of ball
room and summer-resOrt fattcr
to have wearied of it and to hav
become cognizant of its emptines
There seems to her to be gayet
/ lin life which she whose youth ha
| been devoted to home duties ha
never known, with the result tia
Ishe, as we'll as her husband, be
comes restless. Unless there ar
Istrong ties and will power to keeI
| 4 husband and wife r1o are i
| this mental condition. u the roa
which leads away from this ten
porary unrest. they may stay int
| bypaths which lead to dissatisfa(
| ton and ultimate misery.