The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-10-24


ent, MIR. Moody asked:
What do you think about that?''
81 think it most excellent idea, Mr..
Moody, and | may say that we have been
aiming to do that very. thing for two
years." replied the superintendent.
us that SOP said Mr.. Moody. "Then
don't you think it is about time you
"'-Advance.
Siddons-"The other day | went out
walking with my best girl, and after we
got block or so from the house dis
covered that l had come off without my
hat" Spiggins-"Wnat, did YOU do?'
oh, lost my head, and then | did not
need it, you know.'-Judge.
At a dinner party a young man was
once talking rather foolishly about Oar
win and his books, speaking very con
temptuously of them. and he said to the
Bishop of Winchester OVilberforce}:
My lord, have you read DarwnS last
book on the Descent of Man'?' "les, |
have" said the bishop; whereupon the
is, talking of our being descended from
apes! Besides, | can't see the use of such
stuff. | can't see what difference il
would make to me if my grandfather
was an ape" NO" the bishop replied
II don't see that it would; but it must
grandmother The young man had no
more to say.
Friend-''I wonder, Ethel, that you al
lowed that Frenchman to kiss you in
the conservatory" Ethel-'I couldn't
help it." "Why couldn't you?" BE
cause l can't speak French. weekly
Telegraph.
to-
II III. 4 IL I.
strolling on the beach at Atlantic City
looking for shells for his little girl. AS
he tells the story in the Record, ''alons
came one of those old idiots who ask
questions with their mouths which their
eyes could answer. He smiled upon me
and said, Fine day. isn't it? Are you
gathering shells?' No. l snapped back,
my mind; I'm looking for set of false
teeth | lost while in bathing He ex-
pressed his sympathy, and then his face
lit up as his eye caught sight of pink
and white object on the sand. Well, |
declare! Here they are now! he ex
claimed, and, sure enough, he picked up
a set of false teeth lying right at his feet.
grab them and put them in my pocket.
The funny part of it is that never had
a tooth pulled in my life l wonder
whom that false set belongs to-
An English sentry once stopped a car
riage which was out of order on the
night of Il court ball. A lady put her
head out of the window and remarked
that she had the right to go on, because
she was the wife. of a cabinet minister.
beg pardon, ma am was the firm re-
ply; but [ couldn't let you pass even if
you were the wife of a Presbyterian min.
iSter."
A party of Americans were sitting on
the upper deck of a Rhine river boat, en-
joying the charming scenery One was
reading aloud from guidebook about the
various castles as they came into view.
Just as the boat was passing one of the
finest old buildings, woman in the par
ty exclaimed to her companions: why.
that old castle is inhabited. See, there
are blinds at the windows mo" said
a man standing by her side, ''those are
the shades Of their ancestors"
-:o:-
Ministerial Friend Ton vist)-"I won
der what makes your mamma so happy
today? She is singing around all over
the house,
Little Nell-'I dess she's thought of
sometn to scold papa about when he
comes home "-Tit-Bits.
~
''Our landlady,' remarked the man
boarder. sis the most stingy woman
ever met; always looking out for number
one"
"Oh, well'' replied the man who makes
excuses for people, Il suppose she's q
widow who was thrown upon her own re-
sources, and"
''Not at ALL If she was widow she'd
be looking out for number two''-Phila-
delphia Press.
Manifestations office seems badly
mussed up. Have you no janitor?''
Barkleigh-"We have one, but since
he became a faith curist he has been Civ
ing the office absent treatment Bal
timOre American.
Miss Margaret Fish, who studied at
Bryn Mawr college last year. and has
returned to her home in Brookline,
Mass, stepped into a Chestnut street
store few days ago to make some ar
rangements regarding her furniture
Good afternoon, Miss Fish," said the
salesman, bowling deeply, II just dropped
you a line
He. was. not conscious of any humor in
the situation until the college girls laugh
accepted it.-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Teacher-"Now, children, suppose this
classroom were suddenly enveloped in
flames, and escape cut off, what would
be the best thing to do to prevent loss of
life?' Tommy Tatters-"Keep COOL
Judge.
The workhorse and the carriage horse
stood side by side on the street
Il see you take your meals la cart
shifted the latter, looking disdainfully at
the others canvas feedbag
Yes replied the equine toiler. Don't
your
Neigh, neigh, Pauline and the proud
aristocratic mare ratified the silver chains
upon her harness. Il prefer mine stable
d'oat."-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Conductor stumbling in the aislc)--
care those your feet, sir?''
Passenger SIR
Conductor (sarcastically)-"You should
have had them checked. Harlem Life
-:O:-
A boarder at Kennebunkport, Me-,
went to the circulating library and asked
if they had the Letters of Jane Welsh
Carlyle. and received the rep,y: You
will get 'em at the nOStoffico 5,