The Penn's Grove record., 1900-02-23

about q Wld0Wer forty years OLD, II
good health, marrying again. while ht
has a large family. Should he or should
he not?
/ have been trying TODD a little think
ing for the widower since this request
reached me. The marriage ceremony
was not intended to stand after the pail
are separated by death, and / can see nc
reason why a man who has been SO I'm.
fortunate as to loose his wife, has moi
all the liberty to marry again, that ht
had to marry the first time.
But the children must be considered.
The first wife has this much right In
the home, even after death, that hel
children shall be well cared for. Sht
probably lost her life in bringing a large
family into the world. though uncreas'
ing motherly duties. The sleeplesl
nights and restless days which are hers,
has weakened and undermined the con
stitution Of many a wife and sent bel
to a premature grave. The children
belong to the father as well as to tht
mother, and when she has gone beyond
the reach of ministeriDg to them
double duty sets upon him. He needs
a wife, and If he can find a woman who
is willing to be a good mother to hi
children, and help him train and in
struct them into honorable usefulness
he would be certainly ~justi6able in do
ing SO. But there is the rub.
Not many woman in these days want
to help a mar work. 1t is too mucl
growing to be looked upon as the duty
of the husband and the hired girl to
bear the burdens Of the family. II a
man has money. he will find no trouble
in getting a wife, but he may find trou'
BILE with her after the knot is tied. II
there is any man in the world who needs
higher than mortal wisdom, to di
rect his steps, it is the wid3wer, with q
large family of young children, in the
pursuit of a wife.
He dare not marry for love alone.
for, strange to record, men are so con-
stituted they fall in love just as readily
if not more so, with trifing giddy,
young creatures as with substantial,
helpful elevating women. He needs
about all the sterling virtues in the
woman who is to restore his broken fire.
side to some thing Of its oldtime cbmfor,
and c~heerfulness. This has befn done
and may be- ain.
Abraham Lincoln attributed mucl
of his success, if not all, to the good
principles and lessons of usefulness in.
stilled BY his stepmother, and his first
earnings were devoted to lifting bel
above want as a reward for her devo.
ton to him in his young hayward days.
Stepmothers and second wives generally
are standing on a higher plain than
formerly, and better understand the
duties than dev0lye upon them. VIZ
do not hear SO many tales of their cruel
ty to children and evident dislike Of the
memory of the departed whose place
they are filling.
l have seen in a number of house;
where the second wife reigns, the pic.
ture of the first wife upenJ the wall,
works fhef skill about the rooms, and
heard them speak of their predecessors
in the most natural and friendly spirit
possible.
This is as it should be. There is nc
faint OF disgrace in a second marriage,
then why should the name be Stunned.
A man should not fear to speak of the
mother CT bis children in the presence
of his new wife, and if she is the woman
she should be he will not.
1t takes nothing from a woman's
position or happiness to know she was
not the first wife. Indeed, second
wives have the reputation of getting
the kindest and most love.like atten-
ton, aud one is almost tempted to
think if men could have their second
wives first, a great many women
would be having a better time of ii
than they are.
They take their first wives as a mat,
ter of course. She often has to work
and drudge increasingly with little ap.
pearent appreciation OF her services,
but after she has gone to her long rest,
and the cherries house tells a tale of
comfort and restful joy her presence
and industry had created, the husband
is SO forlorn and tossed about among
hired housekeepers and boarding
houses, like "a ship at sea when the
winds are contrary, that he is glad to
welcome most warmly a second guar
dian of happiness and home. He even
doesn't mind telling her once in a
while what a choice morsel she is. He
has lived wretched and alone long
enough to know how to act the fool
gracefully. He does not mean his soft
attentions as any disrespect to his first
wife, nor is it, he has simply learned
the value of a good wife by having lost
one, and is overjoyed at the paradise
regianed that he can not conceal his
bliss.
A widower of forty is most too young
to finish his journey alone, but let him
all the time remember the best interest
nf hfo nhillrnv - H.