The Virginia enterprise., 1900-08-03

j el:' Yes; I've got a lovely golf ham,
! mock. ."-lndanapolis Journal.
! "HavA you lived very long in the sub
urbs:' Not so very long; only about
/ fourteen cooks" ."-Brooklyn Life.
Doctor-.\ftcr this you ought to sleep
like Il baby. Patient (anxiously)-I
: hope you don't mean like my baby, doc
! tor.
Some men, it is said carry their sense
OF honor SO far as to spend all their
time in idleness because they object to
take advantage of time:
Yes, sir; l put in months of hard
work forming that girls mind"
"Nell:' Then she said she wouldn't
lave me. e."-Ncw York World.
''noW much money have you, Sam
my: "Well. If l didn't owe grandma
Il dime and sister nickel ia have fif-
teen ntS.'-ChicaS Record
Our bOokkeeper seems to be STEP
ping high this morning." Yes; some
girl has either accepted him or gone
back on him.'-Chicago Record
i thought YOU and Rcbecca were
the same agc.' Eve we're: but she
seems to have recoded Whilo I've been
going on. '-lElian2poIiS Journal
Ma-"Tommy. You seem to love pa
better than YOU do me- Tomny-"Oh,
ma. | don't mean to; but v sce pa
a]iuS has his pockets full O. nickcls."
The little girl slipped something be-
meath the edge Of her plate. Il wish,"
! she said. under her breath, "there was
an anti-cruSt law! That's what Wish."'
"nau%hter. l notice that Harry ISM
q bit gallant to other women" mo. in
deed, ma; l broke him of that right
after we were married. '-Indana polls
Journal.
lle-"l asked your fathers consent
by tclcphont.' She-"What was his
anSWer:' Hc-"IIe said. L don't know
who You are. but it's al right -
Harvard Lampoon.
ClerkIIow did the alarm clock
work: l suppose you got up the mo-
! mcnt it went off? Blakc-I had to.
! Didn't have anything in bed to throw
ut it.-Boston Transcript.
Can YOU depend on what Rondworl
says:' You bet your life! Why. man.
I've known him to quit a poker game
loser just be cause he'd promised his
wife he'd be home early" y!"-Puck.
Jones. you'll never get rich like 9th
or men if you take so many afternoons
I.,ff lo,-r
know: I'll outlive them and catch up in
the long run. n."-Indianapolis Journal
Shc-You told me you love me, but
I suppose YOU have told the same thing
to fifty other girls at least. He-What
| Of that? You wouldn't want to marry
a freak, would :-Boston Tran
script.
Mrs. IIatterson-*'What! You have
breakfast 1T half-Dast seven? Isn't
that very carly:' Mrs. Cattcrson-
Eyes. But it is necessary now since
my husband has given up business 70
play golf. f."-Lifc
"David. dear. won't so 4 step to the
Paris exposition without YOU" 'Now.
Eliza. do You really want my loved
presence. or do you want somebody to
push YOU around in wheel-chair o.
Indianapolis Journal.
Il cannot sing the old SONGS" she
sang at Il high pitch in the torture
chamber. which is the music room. II
dent think you can sing the new ones.
| oither,' groWled the man on the porch.
Detroit Free Press.
An EXpl3nation.-Und ito bv-
| stander ut 4 funeraD-"A you one
Of the mourners:' BystanGer-"I am.
SIR Indcrtakcr-"Nhat relation to
j the ddceased?' Bystander-"N None at
! all-Eut he owed me $J.'-Chicaco
News.
j The PalmiSt--"This line in your hand
! indicates that YOU have 4 very brilliant
| future ahead OF yOu-" Simkins-'.Is
| that so:' The Palmist-"Yes; but the
! other line indicates that you are too
slow to ever catch up with it.'-Chica-
go News
Cleyerton-NoW that you have sue
ceeded in getting on such intimate terms
with New York's most exclusive liter
ary set and meeting so many distin-
guished men, don't see what you want
to quit for. Dashaway-The fact is, |
haven't a cent left.-The Smart Set.
Wiggles Some persons hold that
there Is no such thing as perfect happi-
ness in this world" Waggles-"Guess
those persons never watched a young
woman in oblivious contemplation OF
that brand-new ring on the third finger
Of her left hand" ."-Boston Transcript.
Mrs. Hoon-"They say that Mrs.
Swiftsmith is greatly troubled with
insomnia" Mr.. Hoon-"Yes, l under
:tand that she discovered the fact
week ago, that her husband talks in
his sleep, and she hasn't slept wink
since for fear OF missing something"
| -Harper's Bazar.
What a fine complexion Miss Home
wood has, said Mr.. Beechwood to Miss
Northside. "lm so glad you like it,"
chirruped Miss Northside. Its new
{ complexion just brought out by a de-
serving druggist of my acquaintance,