The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-05-19
A HAPPY BANKRUPT.
Strange Plight Of D~TugEist's Clerk
Who OblIEinEiy signed some
Papers.

Ordinarily men see no occasion for
rejoicing in bankruptcy proceedings.
Not so Arnot X. HOusekeeper. Until
recently H~ousekeeper was 4 drug
clerk, and had it not been for the
bankruptcy proceedings he might
have continued to be a clerk for the
remainder Of his days. With his
hands thrust deep in his pockets and
little wreaths OF smiles sprinkled over
his face, he told the story TO a report
er the ether day, i~nterrupting the
narrative occasionally TO attend to
the wants Of customers.
about 10 years ago" he began, "a
friend Of mine, who is a conveyancer,
came to me and asked me to sign nv
name to some mortgage bonds. He
said II was a mere matter Of formRi-
~. and as l did o think my sigma
ture could create such a rumpus as
followed l complied with his request.
How many OF the bonds ] signed 1
don't know, but they kept coming in
with great frequency. l have since
learned that they made me what is
known as a straw man'-a sort Of
cat's-paw to pull other peoples chest
nuts out of the fire. At that time
/ was only 22 years old, and hadn't
a cent in the world except the salary
/ made in the drug store.
well, IL wasn't long before the
trouble began. The creditors started
to call upon the straw nan to make
good, and l suddenly discovered that
! owned hah the houses in West Phil.
adelphia, TO say nothing OF 400 or 500
properties in small towns up the
state. When | learned what a bloat-
ed b~ondholder and legal scamp | had
become, unbeknown to myself, | was
frightened. My name began to ap-
pear In the sherif's advertisements,
and l was billed to be sold out al.
most every week. For some reason
the sale never took place, probably
because they found out beforehand
that there was nothing TO sell.
u figured up my assets one day and
made them $25.37, counting a pair of
old trousers and a four-bladed pocket.
knife with one blade broken. which
1 valued at 10 cents. Then | added
up my liabilities and they amounted
TO S2,s9l ,O93.43. Even IL the trousers
had beep new and the point hadn't
been broken OF the knife, / could
not have begifH TO satisfy such a
thirsty lot OF creditors as these.
81 was afraid to buy a suit OF
clothes, because / didn't know what
minute II would he attached | WAS
so nervous that my fears were mag
nihed beyond reason. imagined that
II | were 10 walk downtown dressed
In fine clothes | would be set upon i'm
mediately by creditors and sent back
home in a garb that would make
Adam blush.
You know it's a fearful response.
bility to owe g, 1000, 600. II isn't every
man who a W so much. Things
got worse and worse, and ! was in a
state bordering on nervous prostra-
ion. Finally | couldn't stand IT any
longer, and consulted a LAWYER who
lived across the street from noe. He
asked II | knew who my creditors
were, and | said he must think / was
a human directory. for l owed a thou.
or two to pretty nearly every
man in Philadelphia. Mr.. Culbert
said that, under the circumstances,
It was no use trying to get releases
from all of them. He suggested the
bankruptcy proceedings, and now.
thank heaven, I'm a free mar once
more. | have this little store and
wear a silk hat and a frock coat
II ! want to. Oh, l tell you it's a
bully thing to be a bankrupt."-Phil.
Adelphia Times.