davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11

pint" says the deacon us he hits q
cracker har1 with his cane. Yes, sir,
thar's "A good deal in your theory about
dodgin When all the cows around
here was hevin the lump jaw, Teller
offered To protect mine ag'in II fur So.
| said I'd let her take her chances, and
she come through all right. l obsarye
Moses Forbush among the audience.
and, as Moses built the fence around
the schoelheuse, mehbe he's got sun
thin TO say
Il aln't ag'in Hghtnln rods" says
Moses In his slow way-"I'm not agin
'em fur what they are 1t pears to
me, however, that we'd better begin at
the bottom instead of the roof. rhar's
about 20 hogs nestin under the school
house, and thar's about 20 holes In the
floor, | sorter like the Idea of Il light
min rod, and sorter like the idea of
new floor and drlvin the hogs out. One
Idea sorter balances the t'other, and |
don't want To east my vote either way"
You hewitt made pint" says the
deacon, but nobody expected you to.
an emporium of education, bein you
got the job of buildin the fence and
hey seven children geln to school"
YES. | think | do, replies Moses
"lSe allus felt that 1t was my duty
TO uphold the Magma Charta of liberty,
and when II comes to hoostln the
wheels of progress and civilization I'm
good TO lift a ton"
1t was then suggested that the light
Mn rod man might want to say sunthin
more, and he went mt it and made n
reg lar Fourth OF July Grafton lie pie
tured George Washington, John Han.
cock, Thomas Jefferson and half doz.
en more geln 10 school to learn how to
spell such words as ''liberty," free
dom" and "hulwarks." He pictured
them schoolhouses helm struck by light
niu fur the want Of rods, and he had
tears in Joab Warmers eyes In less'n
five mlnits. Then he pictured the hap
Ply children of Jericho crowded Into the
sehoolhouse on n summers day.
Among them was future lawyers doe
tors, editors, statesmen and poets
They WAS drinbin in deep drafts of
education when black cloud appeared
over Jim Taylor's barn, Il rumble of
thunder was heard, and IL mint litter
II thunderbolt shot out and struck the
schoolhouse, aud thar was II tragedy to
eanVulSe the world. The town had
saved S3S ON lightnin rod, but whar
WAS the schoolhouse. the schoolma'am
and Al scholars? Some was shoutin
and some WIS wlpn their eyes when
the man sot down, and after Deacon
Spooner Ind declared 1t the strongest
pint lie ever heard he made ready to
put the question To "A vote. Jest then
In comes Lsh Billings, aud the deacon
turns 10 him and says;
"Lish we are hevin n meetin about
that llghtnin rod on the schoolhouse.
As you painted the buIldin mebbe
you'd like to say sunthin, Are you fur
1t or agin IT."
Neither one" answers Llsh after
awhile.
Are you standIn neutfalf"
Not exactly"
"Then, how do you make 1t outT
"Why the burned old buildin fell
down about an hour ago Of Its own
self, and l don't reckon thar's any call
TO waste amy breath about the mat
ter" NJ. QUAD
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
A WARM DISCUSSION.
JERICHO AGiTATED AeOUTA SCHOOL
HOUSE LIGHTNING ROD.

1OOoE Ai6fI MIMI hOD.
Pap Perkins, the Postmaster. Tells
About the Pints That Were Made
On both Sides and How the Build
ing Itself settled the Question.
Copyright 1900, by {. b. Lewisl
1t was a lightnin rod man who start
ed the schoolhouse discussion. He
came along the other day and saw that
the sehoolhouse was without rod,
and he went TO the town board and Of
fered to put one up for so much. The
town board wrastled over II all day
without comm 10 conclusion, and
when 1t got to be known all over Jericho
a big crowd assembled at the postoffice
lin the evenin to talk the matter over.
1t was Deacon Spooner who called the
crowd to order and said
AS II appears to me and to Il major
ity of the citizens of this town that an
rived, l call upon the lightnin rod man
to state his case"
There amt much To state" replies
the man. I've offered to put up two
rods on the schoolhouse and warrant II
good job for $40. Beln as Il school
house Is an emporium of knowledge
and bein rs the cause of education may
be said to be the bulwarks OF liberty
I've knocked SIS Off the regular price
Il take 1t that he's made a pint,
says the deacon as he turks on the
floor with his cane Emporium of ed.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
Dead Latter Nrlps.

In postofilce transactions the lack of
ingenuity and even of ordinary com
mon sense Is astonishing. The curios
Of the dead letter office include enyel-
opes leglbly cross marked "Heturn If
not delivered" or III not called for In
five days, return to sender" without II
word of further specifications. Others
bear names without Typographical
data: Hermann Kempef, painter and
decorator, successor to Richie Bros. IL
Co" Workingmen, foreigners especial
ly often seem to credit mall clerks
with the gift OF geographical clalryoy-
anee: Jan Jansen, Mt the miners
boarding house, or, perhaps, stops mt
Mrs Baumgnrten's plaee"-no town to
hint about the state or county OF the
mining camp. "Please deliver 0s soon
as possible" some such letters nre
marked and seem often to have been
plastered with an extra stamp Ia the
hope of inducing the carrier to give the
matter his earliest attention Cincln-
natl Enquirer.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
SHOOTING IN SCOTLAND.
An Immense Sum Expended Annual
Iy In This Form of sport.

An Immense Sum Expended Annual
1y In This Form of sport.
As to the sums spent on shooting
In Scotland, SO large ~ the total that
It IL difficult matter TO arrive even
Mt an approximate estimate. In Perth
shire alone there are I05 shootings, of
which about four flfths are let TO ten
ants and bring In about El5o00O n
yeaf. or an average of E4oe year,
which seems about fur estimate II
1t be borne In mind TINT this Ii an eX-
penslye country and that 30 of Its best
shootings bring $4,000 or an average
of FOO Il year. In the whole of Scot
land there are about 1000 shootlngs,
and as each Of them must at least EN-
ploy one keeper aud one gilie during
the shooting senson some estimate
may be formed Of the money expended
I'm wages and the number of people
employed.
In the deer forests and OH the lurger
shootings there will often be from four
TO six men permanently engaged and
from six TO eight others working for
the shooting season only. In II well
known forest where | once spent many
pleasant days there We're three for
esters, three gilies and three pony men
out eaeh day. ON the grouse ground
there were three keepers, with three
underkeepers. Il kennel man and two
carriers going to and from the nearest
railway station, a total Of IL men and
five horses, not TO mention the ponies
kept for riding into the forest aud
On this property three rifles could stalk
each day, while three other parties of
two ench could shoot grouse, or the
six could combine for driYIng.-Chnm-
bers' journal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
awhile.


The belief in the potency of charms,
etc, Is very widespread among the low
or class Chinese and the Shans In parts
of Yunnan. The latter In particular
have all kinds of amulets to ward off
evil, the gem of their collection being
one which coDferS mVulnerability on
the wearer. This useful quality may
also be obtained, ! was Informed, by
undergoing n very painful process OF
tattooing During my trip was shown
dragons nest" which looked like II
bit of the horschair stuiiing from for
elgn saddle, guaranteed to render the
purchasers house safe from fire, and II
"female deer's horn" which would emu
BILE the fortunate owner to walk great
distance without fatigue.
Not being a landed proprietor or II
professional sprinter, | Ind no use for
these things, and though entered into
negotiations with several people for
the talisman which would render me
invulnerable none of them WIS willing
to stand the test of western skepti-
clsm-a revolver ut 80 PAGES even
though | offered them an enormous
sum and handsome funeral In ease OF
accident Geographical journal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
PERFUME AND DISEASE.
Nature Practical. Not Poetical, In
Scattering Sweet Blossoms.

Nature Practical Not PoetIcal, In
Scattering Sweet Blossoms.
A French physician has decided that
perfumes prevent people from taking
certain diseases. During an epidemic
his attention was attracted to the fact
that persons who constantly used per
fumes escaped taking the disease. But
he found that the more delicate per
fumes, like violet, lavender, altar of
rose, were more etiicaclous than musk
aud strong, rank essences
Beccaria, the famous Italian botan-
st. long ago advised city officials 10
plaut trees and shrubs with odorifer
Gus blossoms or fragrant leaves along
the highways, courts and parks of
cities, because these strong odors pro
duee ozone. and thereby purify the air
and make the city more healthful to
human beings confined TO city streets
or narrow, sunless courts and alleys.
Indeed nature teaches us some Of het
delicate mysteries and farreachinH
processes when she plants tuberoses
orange trees, the night blooming &C
reus aud other shrubs and blossoms
with such rich and oft we'll nigh over
puWerihg odors In tropie lands to neu
trali4e the danger of fevefs and mala
ria arising from dense vegetation OF
damp. unwholesome marshes and rlv-
ers.
Who of us can resist the charm to
the senses of great masses OF white
and purple lilaes with countless bees
murmuring round the fragrant spikes
of blossoms the pure, delightful per-
fume not too strong In the open air
under the radiant sun of May? And
lilacs are so vigorous, are easily grown
on any soil and very long lived. Only
an expert could tell how old some lilacs
on a great grandfather's old place are,
with the gnarled trunks and vigorous
masses of green and blossoms In May
Boston Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11

Conclusive Proof.

People talk about this being an age
Of inNentions Why, there's nothing
new Lately in some ancient Egyptian
temples they have found wires which
prove that the priests had certain
sort of telephones"
yes, but in Assyria they had made
still more progress. III excavations
there they found no wires Mt all, prov
Ing that the anelents understood the
principles Of Mareenl's wireless teleg-
raphy."- Fllegende Blatter.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
A greof Snowfall.

"rhe most prodlgious fall of snow In
the mountains recorded of late occur
red Mt Ruby, n eoal camp In Gunnison
county. Colo, during the winter OF
three years ago. In one months time
239 inches fell, and during the winter
1905 inches. or 50 feet, were preclpl-
tated. This latter amount means 1921
inches Of water"-Ainslee's Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
REUNITED

Let us begin. dear love, where We left of;
Tie up the broken threads Of that old dream
And go on happy as before and seem
Lovers again. though all the world may scott
Let us forget the cold. malicious fate
Who made our loving hearts her idle toys
And once more revel in the sweet old Joys
on happy love. Nay, it is not too late!
Forget the deep plowed burrows in my brow
Forget the silver cleaning in my hair,
Look only in my eyes! Oh darling, there
The old love shone no longer then than nowl
Tie up the broken threads and let us 20.
Like reunited lovers. hand in hand
Back and yet onward to the sunny land
OF our To BE, which was our Long Ago
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
Seemed Itnir

I'D like TO know, of course" said the
new man, with some concern, "wheth-
er my job Is to be permanent or not"
We'll" returned the employer, you
can stay here rs long as you please.
That's fair, isn't IT."
Certainly. I'm much oh
con the other hand, reserve the
right to discharge you whenever
please. That's equally fair, isn't III"
@Ye-es; suppose Chicago Trib-
une.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11

ITS gittln fashionable now, II seems,
among the high tone clubs to buy the
most expensive ehInyware they kin
lind" said the good old soul looking up
from her paper
You don't say" exclaimed her hus.
band
Yes indeedy. II says here, The
Boston club has Just paid $1,000 for
new pitcher. Philadelphia Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
IRONCLAO FEVER.
A Peculiar Disease That Was Killed
by Ventilation.

by Ventilation,
In the fight between the Monitor aud
Merrimac II was found that there was
not sufficient air In the turreted steam
er for the crew and that the sulfocating
gases generated by the explosion of
rendered 1t practically impossible for
the men TO work. Necessity therefore
compelled the introduction of some ap-
paratus for artificial ventilation.
The old methods In vogue for hun
dreds of years had been retained even
under the new conditions and but for
the striking exhibition of direct inter
ference with lighting capacity would
have remained for many years longer.
In the Monitor WAS placed rotary
blower. worked by steam Air WAS
thus drawn from one half of the steam
er through a system of pipes and
forced into the other. Various changes
were made In later ironclads of this
period. In some the air was drawn
down the turrets and forced through
out the vessel, thus rendering them
more than ever liable to suffocnte tho
men below In battle, while In others the
supply WAS obtained through armored
cylinders and forced out through the
turrets.
1t was In the early ironelads that Il
peculiar disease developed which, be-
Ing confined to those vessels. was soon
designated ironclad fever In this af-
fection the initial symptoms We're
much like those Of typhus, but In II
short time severe oecipltal pain was
followed by complete aphonia and this
by coma and death. The Introduction
OF yentIlating appliances caused the
disappearance of this singular disease
and IN time these metal boxes, almost
entirely submerged, came TO be regard
ed rs probably the most salubrions yes
caia n Haat EaSaInr'a Ainuugtna
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
ArtIes. gouI

"of course" the young wife said, Il
am only an amateur. never expect to
paint for living or TO try to sell any
OF my work"
"Then you study art for arts sake"
they suggested.
you've guessed 1t exactly. He want
ed me TO study II, and I'll do anything
to please AIthut."- Chicago Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11

First citizen What have you done to
offend the wnr department?
Second Citizen Why, nothing that
know of. What do you mean?
First citizen Then how does II hap
pen that soc by the dispatches that
the American troops ARE on the way to
Taku2 Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
I.nIInI,tcr,,..I.

Professor I'm grateful for my sense
Of hnmur Think heaven. | can al-
ways see II joke.
Miss FH1lIla oh, professor, the
sense of hGnor II not ability to see
Joke. The sense OF hnmor Is ability to
Take II joke indianapolis Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
A Truthful Man.

Miss Plainface earnestly But If l
had not all this money do you think
you could still be happy with me?
Mr.. Seekrox Startled, but equal to
the emergency)-A-a-a happy is not
the word for it!-Brooklyn Life.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11

How can you tell bad egg. dear"
asked new wife OF her new husband
after they had gone TO housekeeping.
II don't think | would try to Impart
any information to u bad egg" replied
he. Il would ignore "-Plttsburg
Chronicle. Telegraph.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11

The oldest German coal mines were
first worked In 1895. They are near
Worms. England did not begin to
mine its coal until the fourteenth CEN
fury.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11

lie I.lnIlia Theni.

81 am told that you write poetry"
said the snake editor to the proofread-
or.
Yes, Sir" WAS the reply. Il right
poetry aud right prose too."-Pltts-
burg Chronicle Telegraph.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
Not All There.

What kind of man Is Rodney Nc
NIbbs Z"
"Oh. he's the kind that would present
you with the second volume of a book
and not know lt."-Chicago Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11

1t cannot be too often repeated that
IT is not helps, but obstacles, not facil-
tiles, but difficulties, that make men
and bring final success.-success.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
The Same OLD WAY

Curious Old Lady - How did you
come to this poor man?
Convict ! was drove to 1t, lady.
Curious Old Lady Were you really !
Convict Yes; they brung me In the
Black Maria, as usual!-Colliers Week.
ly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11

pleases all the family. Four havors:-Lemon,
Orange, Raspberry and Strawberry At your
grocers 10 cts. Try it to-day.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
iNe,,hady uunt. Them,

There Is. ~. understand u very gen.
eral desire II obtain the upW - silver
certificate ~. Tor that Hntttr. any 9TH
or So bin | tea Herald Dispatch
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
The Lambertyille Record +:
PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY.
tB- TERMS, $3.50 PER YEA II.
CLARK PERSON.
EDITOR AND PUBLISHER.

ADVERTISING RATES.
l Square (about / inehes), time, 10
F." /" times, LEO
A diminished ratio for large advertisements
and for those running for long periods.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-07-11
Rouse the Liver

Cure Sick Headache, Bill
iousness, Sour Stomach,
and Constipation. Sold
everywhere, 25c. per box.
Prepared By c.Laood & Co. Lowell. Mass.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-06-09
GAVE SOME POKER ADVICE.
How Comedian DAILY "Laid Down" TO
His Tailor BY Tele-
phops.

There probably have been times when
Dan DAILY was q few cents ahead IN quiet
game Of draw, but nobody in the alley
seems to be able 10 locate them. His hands
never yet have become calloused dragging
celluloid buttons across. green cloth. de
has got 30. used to quietly laying down
afraid. would bring about heart failure.
The other day his tailor called him up by
telephone, says the Chicago Chronicle.
"Heiio," says the telephone girl, soft and
"Umpteeu hundred and 'steen," says the
"Well, hello" says DAILY.
Eyes. This Is he?"
"oh, is that yoa, Mr.. Daly' didn't rec.
ognize your voice"
"Yes, Yes"
keep away there, central! Hello therel
Hello, there! Hello, Mr.. Daly!"
"Well, well, what is II "says DAILY.
"This Is Mr.. Taylor" says the tailor.
"Well, what do you want?"
"Hello! Is that Mr.. DAILY" shrieks the
tailor.
Eyes, yes, yes. What are you trying to
1--WE got two pairs of trousers here-"be'
gins the tailor.
Speak louder" says DAILY.
eve got" begins the tailor again.
you're too near the phone" says DAILY
Then the tailor roars:
1--WE got two pairs"
They're good" says DAILY, and he rings
! of.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-06-09
a.oo 0evara afOO.

The readers Of this paper will be pleased
10 learn that there Is at least one dreaded
disease that science has been able to cure 10
all its stages, and that Is Catarrh. Halle
Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure
known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being q constitutional disease, requires Q
constitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure is taken internally, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces Of the
system, thereby destroying the foundation
e ss d liz AND aD nv sssu, sas an
assisting nature in doing its work. The
proprietors have SO much faith in Its cura.
tive powers that they offer One Hundred
Dollars for any case that. 1t fails TO cure.
Send for list OF testimonials.
Address F. j. Cheney & Co., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-06-09

The Scottish American tells story OF
minister who, after the service, greeted q
stranger and asked him what denomination
he belonged to. II suppose" responded
the other, "Im really what you might call q
submerged Presbyterian" "a submerged
Presbyterian' exclaimed the minister. :, Il
should be glad II you'd explain" "Well, !
was brought up Presbyterian, my wifc.is a
Methodist, my eldest daughter is Baptist,
my son is the oryanist at a. Unitarian
church, my second daughter sings in a
Church Of England choir, and my youngest:
goes to n Congregational Sunday school,.
'But," said the minister aghast, you con.
tribute, doubtless, to some church, Yes;
! contribute to all OF them," was the an
swer. That's what submerges me-"
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-06-09
Too Frank.

A clothing merchant in lower Broadway
had big lot Of clothes that he had bought
at q bargain, and by putting o price Of Sl5
on each he thought they would sell rapidly,
for they were Of exceptionally good value
for that money. He put one Of the suits ~, on a
,ien about its neck which one Of his smart
clerks had painted on a piece Of cardboard.
This announced the price. Then he and his
clerks prepared to do rushing business.
The hours passed and no one came in to buy
the suits. This caused the merchant to won.
der, and at length he determined to 60 out
and take look at the sample suit and sign.
This is what he found on the sign: these
suits SIS. They won't last long" Pedestri-
frankness. The merchant tore down the
sign from the suit, and the clerk who had de-
signed It started out to look for another job.
IN, Y. Herald.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-06-09
wife No 3 Appeared

William Whitlock, a printer from
Kansas City, was arrested ut Parsons
on complaint of his wife, charging
adultery and desertion. Whitlock
went to Parsons six weeks ago.
Shortly afterward woman, whom he
claimed to be his wife. arrived. Mrs.
Whitlock arrived later and caused the
arrest.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-06-09
Hald n. In q Wise.

Samuel Heep, coach cleaner for
Ahe Santa Fe at Argentine, was
crushed to death between two passcn-
ger coaches in the yards there. He
attempted to pass between the cars
while o switch engine was making
up a train. The engine suddenly
"shunted" the ears together and
Heep was caught between the vesti-
bules of two parlor cars and held us
in a wise.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-06-09
n..,rn BIZ aIrn and Mnme,.

S. L. Cheney, of Galena, was badly
beaten by three men and two women
at his farm. His nssailants used clubs
and his head is covered with gashes.
Mr.. Cheney was ut one time very
active in Kansas politics and is known
oil over the state.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-06-09
To Rcs,or, n Kansnn,s R,nlt.

Representative Curtis introduced a
bill for the relief Of William Grebe, n
German who enlisted in the United
States army during the civil war.
Grebe became u major and fought q
duel in St. Louis over an insult. He
was court-martialed and dismissed
from the army. The bill of Mr.. Cur
tbs provides for his reinstatement in
the army, and retirement with rank
of major. Grebe lives in Leavenworth
county.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-06-09
nlectrlcitx An CapsuIcs.

This new compound, which Is made from
cheap chemicals, Is put up In capsule form
and when added to certain quantity OF wa
ter will furnish electricity enough to Light {,
drive tS q SSsO Or even semnaasd 10
the strengthening power contained in bot.
tie Of Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. II cures
indigestion, dyspepsia, biliousness, liver and
kidney troubles and fills the system with the
vigor Of health.