Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1900-01-25
gABE WON THE BELLE
YET HIS FACE WAS HOmELY ENOUGH
TO SCARE CHILDREN.

lie Had Given Up All Hope of Ever
Getting Wife Until He Accidcn-
tally Learned His Power, and Then
lie Got Mighty Particular.
Il reckon Jabe Hawkins was about
the ugliest man the Lord ever let live
said Uncle Ben as he meditauvely
! whetted his knife upon his boot leg.
| I've knOwed strangers 10 foller that
man around for n half hour jest 10 git
| another look at his face an then go
right off an take 4 drink o licker.
Seemed to kind o. give 'em a relish for
| it. I've knowed fool women to scare
| their children into spasms by threaten
in to give 'em 10 Jabe an they do say
he's been the cause o. more than one
! runaway. He was jest piZen ugly, an
that's all they was to it. 1t was durn
pity, too. because he was a mighty nice
man If you happened to meet HIM in
! the dark. an he had money in the
| bank at Maple Run an 50 acres O as
fse bottom land as ever felt plow.
We'll, in spite o him bein so blame
| hOmely that he GusSeaC look n woman
In the face this yeTe cuss was always
wantin to git married, but, o course
they want no way to get at it. He
| advertised some in the city paper an
writ letters to lots O. women that way
but he was honest to the core. an when
the thing got along fur enough SOS
! they might anything come O ii he al
| ways sent his photograph, an that end
ed it.
| "Oncet they was a mighty likely
| widow from way back east that got TO
| likin Jabe purity we'll through his let
| ter writin, an | must say he was
| good hand at that, before he sent his
| pickshur. After studyin over his line
| ments for Il couple o months she made
| up her mind TO come on anyhow, but
| when she ackshully saw Jabe in the
| flesh she backed out an married 81 Pc
| ter, an she made him n mighty fine
| wife, barrin the fact that she had
| 20-year-oId son that bopbed up after
| the ceremony an turned out to be as
| shiftlesS as it's possible fur man to
| git an live.
Then ,Eabe gifts desperit, an he up an
| offers a hundred dollars reward to any
! body as viii git him a pardner. But
| that didn't amount to much. Ole Dud
Harris lowed he'd make his oldest
| girl. Mirandy. the one that had the
| harelip, jne him, an Jabe, KNOWN
| his own Shortcomings, was satisfied to
| git anybody most but Mirandy took
| epileptic fits an died before the weddin
| come off, an folks all aroun said it was
| a judgment on Dud
"Then jim Damn brung aroun his
half witted girl. an Jabe studied
long while over it, thinllin mebby that
| if they was goin to be children come
| with his ugliness they'd better be fools,
| too, SOS they wouldn't realize it. The
| girl seemed to take fancy to Jabe
| right away an wanted to kiss him, but
| he changed his mind right off, properly
decidin that he couldn't stand anybody
| that was as big fool as that.
Things was this-a-way when there
was hypnotiZer come through Maple
Run an give n show, an he asked for
people to come up on the platform an
| be hypnotized. Everybody most was
| afraid to go till Jabe made the, break,
sayin it didn't matter much what be-
come O him nOhow, an then five more
went up like they alluZ do
well, the mint this here hypnotist
took hold o Jabe's head an tilted it
| back to git good look in his eyes he
| give funny little jump an says:
"I can't do nothin with you. Why,
man. you may not know it, but you
got more power than ! have. If you
fix them fine blue eyes o yourn on
anybody. they just nachelly have to do
what you say
Then he let Iabe 20 an made Wash
Diflins fight bumblcbees an protein he
| was n dog an do the most outlandish
| things you ever heard of. | gosh, it
was funny. an he made some O the
others act up, too, but none so much as
| ole Wash, an the next day he went
away.
But he made a mighty big change in
Jabe's life Y'sce up to this time Jabe
allus dropped his eyes every time he
| see a woman comm, an the woman allus
| looked the other way. But now Jabe
made up his mind to try it, an so he
looked an all the women knowed
about it, so they looked, an they found
out that them eyes was mighty fine If
| you looked at 'em so keen you couldn't
see the rest O his face. They was
mostly scared. too, since they heard
as how Jabe was a hypnotizer if he
only wanted to be hathaway; but, O
| course, that only made 'em look all the
more.
First off. Jabe didn't have the sand
| TO look at the best lookin girls, but only
the homely ones, an it wasn't two
weeks till he could o had his choice o
| a dozen girls You see, they got to
| talkin to him an Studyin them eyes o
hss'n, an fuSt thing they knowed they
was hankcrin after 'em. But Jabe got
partic'lar They was a time when he'd
| been tickled to death TO have any girl
| that wore dresses keep comp'ny with
| him, but he KEEP rnisin his idees every
| day till fin'ly he sot his mind on winnin
Hetty Allen, that was the blamcdest
purticst girl in the whole country an
had a dozen fine lookin fellers with
| good horses an buggies an some land
| tryin to court her. an blame if he didn't
| git her. An the funniest part of il all
| is that there ain't no purifier young
uns anywhere than them seven chill
dren o. Jabes An they all got blue
! eyes, every one of 'em, an the rest is