davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The age-herald., 1900-08-04
SHORT STORIES OF I'll
Ready to Laugh at Anything

Mark Twain was once advertised to lec- ture in the town of Colchester. but for some reason failed to arrive. In the emergency the lecture committee decided to employ Hon. Demsham Hornet to de- liver his celebrated lecture on temperance but so late in the day was this arrange ment made that no bills announcing 1t could be circulated, and the audience as- sembled, expecting to hear Mark Twain, relates Ainslee's Magazine. No one in the town knew MT. Clemens or had ever heard him lecture, and they entertained the idea that he was funny and went to the prepared to laugh. Even those upon the platform, excepting the chairman did not know MT Hornet from Mark Twain, and so, when he was introduced, thought nothing of the name, as they knew Mark Twain was a pen-name, and supposed his real name was Hornet.
 MT. Hornet bowed politely, looked about him, and remarked: "Intemperance is the curse of the country" The audience burst into d merry laugh. He knew it could not be at his remark and thought his clothes must be awry and he asked the chairman in whisper if he was all right, and re- ceived Yes for an answer. Then he said: Rum stays more than diseaser' Another but louder laugh followed. He could not un- derstand it, but proceeded "It breaks up happy homes! Still louder mirth. 'It is carrying young men down to death and he'll" Then came a perfect roar of ap- plause. MT. Hornet began to get excited. He thought they were poking fun at him, but went on: We must crush the serpent!' tremendous howl of laughter. The men on the platform, except the chairman, squirmed as they laughed.
 Then Hornet got mad. What say Is gospel truth he cried. The audience fair ly believed with mirth. Hornet turned to man on the stage and said: Do you see anything very ridiculous in my remarks or behaviour" "Yes. Ha! ha! It's intensely funny-ha! ha, hal Go onr replied the roaring man. This is an insult" cried Hornet, wildly dancing about More laugh ter, and cries of Go on, Twain"
 Then the chairman began to see through merriment and explained the situation, and the men on the stage suddenly ceased laughing and the folks in the audience looked sheepish, and they quit laughing, too, and then the excited MT. Harnet, be- ing thoroughly mad, told them he had never before got into town so entirely populated with idiots. and having said that, he left the hall in disgust, followed by the audience in deep gloom.
The age-herald., 1900-08-04
THE SHIRT WAIST MAN

W. J. l.. in the New York Sun. Behold me, Coatless and cool: I am the shirt waist man, And if I don't Take the rag off the bush I take the coat Off my back And fling 1t In the face of conventionality What do I care If Fashion Piles the precipitation Up Knee deep On the backs Of coated men? It doesn't monkey with mo, For I yank off my coat And Fashion Glasses itself out of my Neighborhood, And leaves me Cool
 As a cucumber. Of course, My shirt waist Isn't cut according To the pattern Of the lady shirt waist, And 1t lacks Fluff and puff And furbefow, And has a Superfiuity of narrative Perhaps, But 1t gets there Just the same. And I am comfortable, While those, Coated with conventionality, Sweat and swear And kick holes In the Weather Bureau And lose their tempers In an overflow of temperature. The shirt waist man Isn't recognized institution Just yet, But he's the coming man, And the hot weather Brings him out As it does the tassels On field of corn, And soon the streets Will blossom with him, Not altogether A thing of beauty, But verify a joy During the heated term. That's me. The shirt waist man, And as long As I keep cool, Conventfonahty May go to thunder. 1T
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

The administrations attempt to uncover the anarchists in New York and Paterson is like locking the stable door after the horse has been stolen
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

The strenuousness will soon depart from the Boxers, now that the Americans, the British and the Japanese have taken up the cry "On to Pekin"
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

The new King of Italy does not need to be a statesman for cabinet ministers do the governing act in a constitutional monarchy.
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

queen Victoria may outlive all her chil- dren. Three are dead and one in in pre- carious health
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

Rathbone's lawyers have no trouble in declaring their client innocent Thus far no one else agrees with them.
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

Ii Hung Chang may be the richest man on earth, but he certainly is not the happi- est.
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

Spare nobody is the German motto in the Chinese war. The savagery is not on one side.
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

Rathbone's confidence in Medley was only equaled by Neeleys confidence in Rathbone.
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

Long Branch is again the political capi- tai, for it Is the home of Warwick Hanna.
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

The new King of Italy is not giant, but he may be as full of fight as a six-footer.
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

The administration raid against anarch- ists is theatric and campaignal.
The age-herald., 1900-08-04
THE MONTEvALLO LANDS

MT wu is entitled to say, 1T told you
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

The new King of Italy does not need to be statesman, for cabinet ministers do the governing act in a constitutional monarchy Rathoone's lawyers have trouble in declaring their client innocent. Thus far no one else agrees with them. Queen Victoria may outlive all her ehi1
 dren. Three are dead and one in in pre-
 carious health Ii Hung Chang may be the richest man on earth, but he certainly is not the happi- est. ------- Spare nobody is the German motto in
 the Chinese war. The savagery is not on one side. hathbone's confidence in Medley was only | equaled by Neeley's confidence in Rathbone  Long Branch is again the political capi- tai, for it Is the home of Warwick Hanna - The new King of Italy is not giant but
 he may be as full of fight as a six-footer. hS duhllliStfdtlOH $ FalQ against auarcl- ists is theatric and campaignal.  If the gold Democrats take to the woods they will find Tom Reed there. Chinese statements should always be ac- companied by supporting proof. The Chinese government has copied the | seapegoat act from America I The Chinaman has inseparably connected yellow with depravity  Books upon China have suppIanted books l upon South Africa. Emperor William is entitled to the high est Boxer degree. Minister Wu is fully vindicated, and so is his auto The Chinese secret service is the best In the world MT Wu Is entitled to say ssI told yop so ,,
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

If the gold Democrats take to the wood. they will find Tom Reed there.
The age-herald., 1900-08-04

Chinese statements should always be ac companed by supporting proof.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-27
LEARNED MEN AND WOMEN
Hold Congress at the University of
Pennsylvania.

Philadelphia, Dec. 27.-Learned men
and women from every educational CEN
ter of the United States gathered at the
University Of Pennsylvania. today to at
tend the morning session of the congress
of archaeological and pathological socie-
ties of America Seven distinct socie-
ties were represented and close upon 300
delegates were at the university when
Among the organizations which were
represented, whose combined member
ship amounts to 5000 men and women
interested in the advancement of all
branches OF. original research, are the
American Oriental society, which met
at the university last year; the archae-
illogical institute, the American philo-
logical association, the Modern Lang
uage association, the Dialect society, the
Society of Biblical Research and the
Spelling Reform association.
All the societies held separate meet
ings this forenoon and completed ar
rangements for the work mapped out
for the congress which held its first ses-
sion this afternoon. Among the officers
of the society President Gilman Of Johns
Hopkins. who will probably preside over
the sessions of the Oriental society;
Prof. James w White, of Harvard,
president of the Archaeologic institute;
President Plattner, of Albert college,
president of the pathological association;
Prof. Thomas r. Price, of Adelbert col
Iege, secretary of the Dialect society;
Prof f. A. March, of Lafayette, OF the
Spelling Reform association.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-27

use their influence to secure favorable
action by the association upon Super
intendent Nelson's plan to destroy state
uniformity.
The book companies are unanimously
in favor of this proposed amendment to
the state law, which would confer upon
the textbook commission the power to
make changes or substitutions in the
place of books now in use in the schools
of Kansas.
Mr.. Nelson. the state superintendent,
has not geen charged directly with
working in the interests of the book
companies, but he is doing just what
the book companies want done. An
amendment to the present law, such as
proposed by Mr.. Nelson, will absolutely
destroy the present state uniformity
law.
The destruction of the force of this
law will place the book companies in a
position to urge changes in the lists of
books now in use. Thus the way Will
be open for the discarding of some of
the books now in use and the intro
dlction of others, which the companies
must sell in order to make money.
It is not denied by some of the wiser
ones among the school teachers that
some of the books now in use might
be improved upon, but they do not favor
the abrogation of the present law to ac-
cornplish the changes. It is urged that
the present law, while it may be de-
fective in some particulars, IS FAR bet
ter than it would be if amended as pro-
posed by Mr.. Nelson, placing the peo-
pie again at the mercy of the book COM
panies.
An effort will be made to secure
pledges from a number Of teachers suffi-
cient to endorse superintendent Mel
sons scheme. If the pledges are Sc
cured them the endorsement is likely to
be recorded in the resolutions. Otherwise
it might be attempted in an open meet
ing where discussion would be per-
mitted-
The issue might develop the party
lines in the association. The Populists
are opposed to changes in the present
law because that party gave the uni
formity law tc the patrons of Kansas
schools. The Republicans want the
law changed for one reason that it is
a. Populfst measure. The indications now
seem to be also that some of the Repub-
licalls want to see the law changed so
their friends, the corporations publish
ing books. will be benefited
If the teachers endorse the Nelson
amendment and the legislature passes
it. the book companies will begin to
dominate the teachers and the patrons
at once and unload books which are
printed to sell without reference to
their value as an educational force.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-27
PLOTTED MURDER.
Young Wife Accused of Seeking
Her Husbands Life.

Concord, N. H., Dec. PA sensa-
tional episode came to a climax last
night in the arrest of Mrs Carrie Sin
Clair Huntoon, 26 years of age. well
known in society, and at the time of
her marriage one of the bellies of the
city, on the charge Of conspiracy with
intent to kill her divorced husband,
Walter c. Huntoon, of whom, it is as
serted. she has been extremely Jealous.
At the September term of the superior
court Mrs. 6untoon. was granted a di-
vorce from her husband on statutory
grounds.
The story of the murder conspiracy as
given out by the police is as follows:
On Monday Mrs. Huntoon went to Bos-
ton, and in the union station there ac-
costed a young man, William Fl. Dut-
ton. of Dorchester. a total stranger
asking him if he was looking for work,
and would like to earn a dollar. He
said no, but she outlined a plan to him
to kill her husband. promising a re-
ward
Dutton gave her no definite answer.
and he went home and told his father
of the conversation. His father sent
him to the police authorities in Boston,
and they in turn notified City Marshal
Locke, giving the latter a description Of
the woman as Dutton remembered her.
On Tuesday the police say Mrs Hun
tOOn came back to this city and wrote
letter to young Dutton, telling him to
come here at once and giving directions
as to how he was to do the job when
he got here.
button showed the letter to the po-
lice and by their directions met Mrs.
Huntoon here at the rear of The state
house Marshal Locke and Assistant
Marshal Rand watched the proceedings.
Young Dutton claims that Mrs. Hun
toon handed him a loaded revolver and
an envelope which she said contained a
IS bill as part payment for the job, and
another envelope as a decoy letter which
was to be given to Huntoon, her former
husband, in order to get him out of the
house and into a favorable place for
the carrying out of the crime. Mrs.
Huntoon pointed in the direction of the
house. and as she did so the city mar
shall slipped up and caught her by the
arm. She recognized the marshal and
went into Mysteries. When she came to
her senses she was allowed to say good
bye to her aged mother and her little
child and was then arrested. Mrs.
Huntoons only excuse is that Huntoon
sneered at her when they met on the
street.
Many of her friends say that her
troubles with her husband have caused
her extreme mental anguish, and that
she is not responsible for her acts
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-27

from Madeira and Gibaltar and upon
the hOnOrs which will await him when
he arrives in England. The rumors are
revived that his name VIII head the New
Years list Of hOnDrs, but a dukedoFn
seems out of the question, and an earl
dom is more probable, with possibly the
blue ribbon of the Order of the Garter.
The queen has ribbon to spare, since
no successor has been appointed to the
late Duke Of Argyll. Buffers friends
will be soreIy disappointed if his name
does not appear in the New Years list,
and White, Hunter. French Ian Ham
ilton and Pole-Carew are regarded as
probable winners in the lottery of deco
rations. Needless confusion has been
caused by the exchange OF formaIities
between Lord Hopetoun and the pre-
Barton, by virtue of his leadership, was
the only candidate for prime minister
OF the new commonwealth, and Sir w
Line was the proper master of ceremo-
MES for nominating him for the post of
honor Barton IS an eminent colonial
statesman of the same class as Sir Will
frid Laurier. The federation has been
the dream of his political career. AS an
idealist and enthusiast he has not been
interested in anything else. and he has
lived to see his dream carried out as a
new principle OF the empire. His name
can hardly be omitted from the New
Years list of honors.
BOERS ATTACK IN MANY PLACES
London, Dec. 27-The following dis
patch from General Kitchener was re-
ceived from Pretoria under today's
CFhursday) date:
Yesterday 200 Beers attacked a small
police post near Boksburg. The police
gallantly drove them off before rein
forcements from johannesburg arrived.
The Beers damaged the mining ma
chinery in the neighborhood.
THE Beers attacked Utrecht at 2
o'clock this morning and were driven
Off
The Beers held up a train three miles
west of Pan, and were driven off.
1.-The eastern force of Beers in Cape
Colony was headed yesterday and driven
in the direction of Venterstadt.
ssThe western force is still being driven
north through Strydenburg."
BOERS TURNED THEM LOOSE
London, Dec. 27.-The Evening Stan
dard today says it understands that the
squadron of yeomanry, which, as an
nounced in a. dispatch from Cape Town
yesterday was e.ntrapped and captured
by the Beers whom they were following
from Britstown was released after the
men had been relieved of their horses
and other equipment. Ten of the yeo-
manry, the paper adds. were wounded
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-27

eral meetings was opened with music by
the MOdoe club.
The lower floor of the Auditorium was
crowded last night when Superintendent
Frank Dyer of Wichita raped for order.
TIE Modocs sang a medley of songs and
responded to an encore with "A Ragtime
Life and GOO Goo Eyes"
Because of the fact that Governor
Stanley was unable to attend the meet
ing and make the address of welcome,
his private secretary, Henry Allen, de-
Hvered the address instead He said ir
part:
globe where the school teacher is not
welcome and the AnglO-SaxOn is fast
thianing them out. / believe we made a
mistake when we accepted the seal Of
the state. Something is missing. Along
with the stars. the farmer and the home
on -he hi1l should be the school teacher
ITO the school marTnS I want to say
thai / welcome you with open arms.
These are my sentiments and am sure
the governor feels the same. Who could
do anything else when he looks into
such a sea of happy, beautiful faces.
seriously the whole state of Kansas
is glad to see you here We know you
are consecrated and that you love your
work. II there is anything the state
should not be proud of it is the salaries
she pays her teachers"
u. f. Clark of Cottonwood Falls re-
sponded to the address of welcome He
said:
I'VE are proud of Topeka. We are
proud cE Topeka because it is a clean
city and its citizens are attempting to
do away with liquor traffic We trust
she viii continue in her endeavor to give
Kansas an exposition to celebrate her
fiftieth anniversary. We thank you for
the hearty welcome and hospitality you
have extended TO u.s."
MI. Fdirchild, president of the asso-
citation, made his annual address. He
said in part:
"One of the pleasing anxieties of our
day is found in the look forward to the
society of the future. With Froebel
every teacher has learned to see in the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-27
AWARDED $4,000,
Mrs. Jenkins Secures judgment
For Lynching of Husband.

Chicago, Dec 27.-NIrs Lulu c. Jen-
kins, now of Chicago, has Just been
awarded $4,000 for the lynching of her
husband in Ripley county, Ind, three
years ago. The money will be paid over
by the eight bondsmen of former Sheriff
Henry Bushing and is the result of a
private settlement of the Indemnity suit
instituted by the widow three months
after the murder. This puts an end to 4
case that has aroused attention all over
the United States.
William jenkins was one of five men
lynched in September, 1897, for alleged
completely in the stealing of a horse
from LisIe Levi of Osgood, Ind Levi
also was victim of the mob The men
killed were Robert Andrews, ,Heine Schu-
ter. William jenkins, Clifford Gordon, a
II year old boy; and Lisle Levi, an aged
soldier.
There was a fight in which shots were
fired at a deputy sheriff. jenkins. with
the others, was arrested and taken tC
jail at Versailles, Ind. Mrs. Jenkins, sus
pecring that mob violence was brewing
walked from Osgood to Versailles that
night and paced the streets till day
light, armed with a revolver For several
hours she waited under the window OF
her husbands cell. ready to challenge
anv who came to do him harm
Her fears being finally allayed, Mrs.
Jenkins started home. No sooner was
she out of sight than a mob gathered.
ragging out the five men, the members
of the mob killed them in succession by
beating them over the head with mus
ker stock.
Mrs. Jenkins was compelled to flee to
save her own life, coming to Chicago.
Here she brought suit for $4,000 damages
against Sheriff Bushing's bondsmen be-
fore Judge Baker in the United States
circuit court The suit dragged along
for three years, and finally the bonds
men decided to settle outside the court.
Mrs jenkins, when compelled, several
months since to go to Ripley county to
attend the trial of the case, was pro-
tected by a body guard of government
detectives. She will go to Versailles next
week to get the $4,000
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-27
SHOT BY A WOMAN
w. H. Smythe, Grand Secretary
OF the Indiana Masons,
Receives Three Bullets From a
Blondes Revolver.
HE DIDN'T KNOW HER.
Made Her Escape Before the
Police Arrived.
Shooting Appears to Have Been
Wholly UnprOVOked.
E DIDN'T KNOW HER.

indianapolis, Ind. Dec. 27.-Wniiam
H. Smythe. grand secretary Of the Ma
sonic order Of Indiana, was shot ana
probably fatally wounded at noon to-
day, while he was IN his Office I'm the
Masonic temple in this city. The shoot
ing is a mystery. Mr.. Smythe retained
consciousness for several minutes after
the shooting. He said blonde woman
had entered his Office and asked peimia-
sion to use the telephone. He was busy
and told her he could not be bothered
at the time. without further words, he
says the woman leveled a revolver at
him and fired. He felt the sting OF this
bullet and after that did not know what
happened until the woman had made
her escape.
The police reached the scene only n
few moments after the tragedy but no
trace of the woman was found Mr..
Smythe was discovered by Lewis A.
Coleman, an attorney Of this city, who
had gone to the Maconic temple TO
transact business. Smythe. he says, was
lying on the floor, half between his desk
and the door of his Office in pool Of
blood. Coleman called the police.
Smythe's son says he can not imagine
who the woman was who fired the
shots. An examination revealed that
three shots had been fired. each OF
which had taken effect Three bullets
were removed from the wounded mans
head
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-27
FELL UNDER WHEELS.
Fifteen Year Old Thomas Park
er Meets Terrible Death.

Thomas L. Parker. a colored boy AGED
Is years. was killed by santa Fe troi1
Noe yesterday afternoon near Fiftecnit
street.
The inquest over the remains was held
this morning and IL developed that the
boy had gone down the track 20 where
the train stops before crossing the Mis-
souri, Pacific track He got on the steps
and rode to Fifteenth street where he at-
tempted to get of but In some way fall
ed to clear the step and was thrown un-
der the wheels. His body was horribly
mangled.
II. s. Parker. who lives at 613 East
Euclid avenue. is the father OF the Roy.
Tho funeral VIII be held tomorrow at tire
home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-27
DIAMONDS FOUND,
Kimberley Expert Locates a
Nine in New Mexico.
Declares Gems Are Valuable and
the Genuine Article.
STAND EVERY TEST.

Alamaogerdo. N. NJ. Dec. ga prom
inent railway official here today received
a box of fifty gems closely resembling
and alleged to be diamonds, found near
Captain, the coal camp on the line of the
FL Paso & Northeastern Railway com
pany, so miles north of, this place. The
stones were found by ]. J. Blow, former
" associated with the DeBeers consoli-
dated company at Kimberley. South
Africa. who has been secretly fnvesti-
eating the field for the past month, and
a letter from him accompanying the
shipment states that they are either dia-
rnonds or something so closely resem-
They successfully stand every crude test
bling the gem that they deceive him.
known.
The gems will be sent away for final
analysis.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-27
SMASHES THINGS
President of Barber County w.
c. L. U. Grows RiOtOus.
Enters Wichita Saloon and
Ruins Valuable Painting.

Wichita, Kan, Dec. 27.-Mrs. Carrie
Nation, president of Barber county w.
G. T. u. entered the Carey hotel bar
room and with a stone smahed a $500
painting of Cleopatra at her bath and
a mirror valued at 800.
She is under arrest but no charge has
yet been entered. She appealed to Gov
ernOr Stanley who is in the city and he
refused to act in any way.
She broke mirrors at Kiowa, Kan,
in two saloons some months ago. She
declares there is no law under which
she can be prosecuted and she threatens
to continue her violent opposition to sa-
lions