davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
The Mennest Man.

"The meanest man I ever saw" said
the shore passenger to q Tit-Bits
man, was a fellow who got a foot
ball and painted IL to look like a
watermelon. Then during the summer
months he kept IL conspicuously dis
played in his back yard, and amused
himself setting q savage bulldog on
hungry people who happened to take
a fancy to the bogus melon"
"He certainly had his mean points,"
said the tall passenger, "but / know
q fellow who could give him a dis
count and then beat him at his own
game. j was I'm n restaurant once
where this fellow was getting his din
ner. After he had finished he called
the waiter who had served him and
asked.
allow much do you get for a tip,
as a rule?'
'The walters eyes sparkled; he
rubbed his hands together and re.
piled.
"'Well. sir, we generally get at
least s~iXpence. but sometimes nice,
genteel, prosperous-lookin' gents like
you gives us a bob
Then what did this fellow do but
put on his hat and say:
Thanks. i merely wanted to
know how much i was going to save
by not giving you anything"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
A Small

Chicago News: The ascension to the
throne of Italy of the new king
brings into prominence his consort,
who will be known as Queen Helene.
In II n she is mated to the king
and in another she is not. Like most
of his countrymen he is small of stat
ure, while she, like her people, the
Montenegrians, is very large. The in
c~ongruity appears when they stand
together, which is not often. Most
of their pictures are taken with her
sitting and him standing. When they
ride together he sits upon cushions,
which make him look equal to her in
height. She is the daughter of Prince
Nicholas, of Montenegro, the little
mountain principality on the other
side of the Adriatic sea. She can shoot
and ride as well as any of her athletic
c~ountrymen.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
WOES OF A CROESUS.
Demon OF Dyspepsia Makes Life
Miserable for Rock q Teller.

Demon or Dyspepsia Makes Life
Miserable for Rockefeller,
New York World: John ID. Rockefel-
Ter works as q laborer in the fields
four months out of every year-works
In overalls from dawn till dusk.
And at dusk homeward the Croesus
plods his weary way-to supper of
stale bread and SKINNED milk.
No cream, no butter, no meat, no
pastry, no fresh bread, no white
bread, no champagne, no burgundy,
no caulifiower III gratin. no nice
sauces or gravies.
And 1t Is oil because he has dys-
pepsia.
He returned from Europe a few
days ago. The doctors held q consul
tation Over him and decided he was In
n very bad way. They packed him off
to the Adirondacks, and he must stay
there for many months.
He mustn't bother his head about
the Standard Oil company, which is
paying $4s, ZOO, 900 in dividends this
year, to say nothing Of the profits
from it's ten great banks and trust
companies. He mustn't sit up late
and mustn't smoke, he mustn't drink
anything but SKINNED milk and min
eral waters, he mustn't eat anything
but graham crackers. He must take
n long walk every day, whether he
feels like 1t or not, he must watch his
temperature to zee that he does not
get overheated, but no matter how
thirsty he may be must not drink
water or milk that Is cooler than his
own blood.
Mr.. Rockefeller has been a sufferer
from acute chronic dyspepsia for IF
teen years.
He "a not seriously alarmed about
lis condition until the spring of 1891.
The disease reached SO acute IA stage
at that tina that the multi-million-
aire was obliged to give up all his
business activities.
He retired to his palace at larry
town, overlooking the Hudson river,
dressed in a suit Of overalls and Joined
his men in the fields. He arose at 5
every morning and worked till sun
set.
Gradually the color came back to his
face, the pains and di-
minished and he gained in weight.
After nearly four months of this he
roic treatment Mr.. Rockefeller was
again able to return to his Office and
assume his many responsibilities.
This program is repeated every
summer. The life of n laborer for four
months a year enables him to barely
put through the winter. Every sum
mer he is obliged to become a laborer
again for his health's sake.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
Trouble for the Vicious,

Cleveland Leader: An exchange of
angry words between an attorney and
his client, a gambler, in the corridor
of the central police station yesterday
is well worth recording.
"Why in the name of common sense
did you let my case go over to that
man Riley?" asked the gambler.
Really, old man, / couldn't help
where the cases are assigned" said
the attorney.
"The deuce you couldn't! What'd
| hire you for and why did I dig up
the dough? Don't you know" ex-
claimed the mar of the green cloth in
rising tones, that Riley sends the
gamblers to hades and the women to
Siberia? Wish / had my money back.
Then he walked away.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
OF INGALLS,.
Some OF the winged Words"

Some OF the "Wfnged Words" @
tho Kansas Senator.
The publication of politics is an ir-
descent dream.
Nothing is SO fatal to eminence as
the testers cap and bells.
The government is always the worst
served of all employers. !.
The desire for money is the most
constant and universal passion among
men.
The golden rule and the Decalogue
have no place in an American political
campaign.
Government is force. Politics is a
battle for supremacy. Parties are the
army. The object is success.
A trust is a thing that knows no
politics but plumber and no principles
except spoliation of the human race.
1t is an error to suppose that to be-
come a politician The citizen must
cease to be a scholar or a gentleman.
The prescription for greatness has
not been written. The laboratory In
which genius is compounded has not
been disclosed.
In every community there are more
intelligent, Industrious, upright and
patriotic men than rogues and scoun-
drels. If there were not, society
would disintegrate.
The man who cannot take care of
his own affairs has no right to take
care of the affairs of others. The pau
per ought not to decide the rate Of
taxation upon incomes and property.
Manhood suffrage Is the thing.
There are plenty of men who are IL
hterate, yet good citizens, and lots
OF fellows who have money and can
speak seven or eight languages who
are scoundrels.
What Jesus would do were He in
Kansas today can best be determined
by considering what he did when He
was ia Nazareth and Capernaum 1900
years ago. He attended strictly to his
own business.
The man who is unhappy when he is
poor would be unhappy If he were
rich. A beggar may be happier in his
rags than a king in his purple. Hap
piness is an endowment and not an
acquisition.
1t would be far easier for n camel
TO go through the eye of n needle than
for the richest man in the country to
become president today. He may oc-
~casionally buy a Legislature or pur-
chase a convention, but he never es-
capes detection, although he may
avoid punishment.
No n is compelled to dedicate
himself to the public service. 1t Is
voluntary, and if the conditions are
unsatisfactory there is no obstacle to
retirement. While it would be agree
able to receive more, my. impression is
that If salaries were doubled expenses
would be doubled.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
CALLED THE PRISON BIRD.
How IL Got Its Name From a Very
Peculiar Habit.

Peculiar Habit.
The prison bird is found In Africa,
and gets its name from the fact that,
from the time the nest is made until
the little birds are old enough to fly
the mother bird is really a prisoner.
AT nesting time the parent birds,
with their beaks, make a hole In the
bark of a hollow tree, and then enter
the tree md build their nest. When
the nest Is ready for occupancy the
mother bird settles herself in II, and
her mate at once makes her a prison
er by "walling up" the entrance to
the nest, leaving an opening just large
enough for air and food to pass
through.
The great African explorer, David
Livingstone, watched the actions of
these birds and In writing of them re-
ferred to the nest as a prison." and
the female bird as a slave" She GER
tainly is at the mercy of her mate for
q time, but he treats her with unvary-
ing Kindness and attention. AS soon
as she is imprisoned he stations him
self near. lie brings her food at reg
ular intervals, and does not allow her
to van for anything. Thus she gets
on all right, and really seems 10 thrive
In her secluded life. Should, however,
any accident befall the male bird, SO
that he would be kept from looking
after the needs of the mother bird,
she and her little ones would die for
want of food. When nesting time is
over the male bird destroys the bar
rier with his beak and sets his family
free. Says Mr.. Livingstone: 1T is in
teresting to witness the Joy with
which the little prisoners greet the
light and the unknown world"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
Halls Catarrh Cure
Is taken Internally. Price IS cents.
BERETrA FOR IRELAND.
American Prclate Looked Upon a.
Certain to &c u CtriinaI.

American Prclate Looked Upon as
Certain 10 lic n @ irdinaI.
Rome cable letter: At the pope's
reception Sunday last the holy father
beckoned Archbishop Ireland toward
him from among twenty-one cardinals
present and asked him what he would
tell the Americans on returning. Ire
land ~improvised a speech in French,
which held the attention of the prel-
ates spelibound for nearly ten min
utes. He spoke of Catholic Americas
devotion to the holy see and the de-
sire for a united church. The pop'
put the question to cinvince the prel-
ates resent of the orthodox nature
of Ireland's ideas and to prove he is
worthy the cardinals hat. In certain
vatican circles it is considered almost
a certainty the purple will be con
ferred on Ireland at the next con-
sistorv.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
A Theo,.,


Washington Star: II wonder how
Solomon became the wisest man on
earth"
That's easily explained" replied
the man with the intellectual but wor-
ried face. "You sec, Solomon had a
large number of families and of
course his children. asked questions
lust as children do. l have no doubt
Solomon was like anybody else and
had n certain dislike to exposing his
ignorance. When one of the children
would ask him something he didn't
know he'd make believe he wanted a
drink of water and then go out and
look in the back of the dictionary. |
shouldn't be surprised If he were com
PEELED to do this fifty or sixty times u
day. Under such conditions u man
couldn't help getting wise"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
The Rhythm OF Life.

The rhythm of life is love, dear:
The rhythm of life Is love:
You may look where you choose for the
rhyme, dear,
But the rhythm is fashioned above.
II may be as soft as the lulling wind,
Where 1t sways with the meadow
grass,
In a far away nook, near a babbling
brook,
Where only the blue jays pass.
1t may beat with the waves on a jagged
rock,
1t may dance on the ocean spray;
1t may Turk unawar In a lock of your
hair,
When you're combing the gold to gray.
1t may come to you crowned with a halo
OF light,
1t may co ne to you dim with tears:
God pity the one that is hid from the sun:
But may God bless the heart that IL
cheers!
For the rhythm Of life Is love, dear.
The rhythm OF life is love:
You may look where you choose for the
rhyme, dear,
But the rhythm - fashioned above.
boston Transcript.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
SHE WASN'T CONVINCED.
Two Women Make a Small Wage
in a Theater.

in q Theater.
Two women created a little excitement
for those around them at the Dearborn
theater Tuesday evening during the per-
Torrance of THE Burgomaster," says
the Chicago Chronicle. One of the lead
ing chorus girls, neatly attired in a gown
OF white, sang a selection that pleased
the audience, including the two ladies
mentioned. A few minute later the girl
appeared In the same costume and sang
again, but she evidently had a frog In
her throat or had taken cold benin the
scenes, for Ter voice did not seem to
be the same.
"Why, how strange her voics sounds"
remarked one OF the women.
That isn't the same girl" said the
other.
o course, It's the same GIRL
well, | know II isn't the same girl.
Even II she has got or that dress she Is
a different girl. and III bet you IS IL you
are so sure
"well, III risk IT, and In the middle
OF the act they put the money in the
hands of a friend. Their conversation
had been heard by a crowd around them,
and after the curtain fell many were in
terested In learning the outcome of the
| wager. The usher was called and asked
to And out IL the girls were one and the
same. He returned with the verdict that
they were one. and the money changed
hands. We'll, / don't care; | don't be-
lieve IT, anyway" was the remark OF the
loser as she bade farewell TO her money.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
TIL b Is Not True.

Boston Transcript: Stubb-Have
you ever noticed how long it takes
servants 10 answer the doorbells?
Pennies, and | heard a good story
about the same the other day.
Stubb-Nhat was that?
Penn-Well, it seems that some
heartless mother wrapped her baby in
n newspaper and placed it on a door
step. Then she touched the bell and
disappeared. When the servant did
come, she found the baby sitting
cross-legged reading the sporting
news.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
CHAPTER XIII.

When the inspector came back and
turned up the gas before SewalI's
cell, he uttered an exclamation of
alarmed surprise. His prisoner had
escaped him.
He feared it in the instant when his
quick eye caught the little dark red
stream that had ~sluggishly crept out
under the grated door and half across
the corridor floor. He knew it when
he reached the form upon the bench
and found it inanimate clay.
Such had been the desperation in
spring the young man to east off his
burden of life hat he had torn, with
the sharp edged bits of glass, great
ragged openings in his arteries, both
at the ankles and at the wrists, and
death seemed to have come TO him
while he was still digging in his neck
another vent for life. All the space
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
RuRsln'a NeW CnlenLnr.

1t is said that Russia Is about to
adopt a new calendar. Each year
contains thirteen months of twenty
eight days each. The main feature Is
its apparent stability, and in this it
resembles the sovereign remedy, Hos
letters Stomach Bitters. Try 1t for
dyspepsia, constipation, nervousness
CT insomnia. BE sure you get the gen
nine.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
BEST FOR THE BOWELS.

No matter what ails you, headache to q
cancer, you will never get we'll until your
bowels are put right. CASCARETS help
nature, cure you without a grippe or pain,
produce easy natural movements, cost
you Just 10 cents to start getting your
health back. CASCARETS Candy Ca.
thartic. the genuine, put up in metal
boxes, every tablet has G. G. G. stamped
on it. Beware OF limitations.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
To tie Irade:

TO ne 7100e:
After fifteen years as manager of the tea and cigar departments
of the {. Shenkberg Co., of this city, 1 have opened at 51s Fifth
street under the lame of Chas. Donovan Cigar Co., an exclusive
wholesale cigar house.
We own and control the Ell Tnaddo Seed and Havana line
Henry the Fourth, clear Havana. Sole agents for the following
5 cent brands: Bill Dugan, Diamond D, Bonnie Thornton, Club
House, Piper Heidsieck, Lilac, Hurrah.
We solicit a portion of your business. Samples submitted.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
Above the Necessity.

Chicago Tribune: you've sent your
boy to college, | hear" remarked the
neighbor. well, hope he will ac-
quit himself with credit"
HE won't need to begoshl" said Mr.
Gaswell, somewhat irritated. "I'm
able to supply him with the cash
right along"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
A CYnInno CnYn pnrfv

Blunt, S. d., Advocate: The Advo-
cate editor was at Harold Monday
night during the storm and In re-
Spouse to an informal but urgent in
vitation from the occupants Of the
Sheldon house attended n select cy-
clone cave party, only those being
present who picked up their clothes
and ran at the first invitation. The
ladies present were attired in evening
gowns over the shoulders, hair n la
dishabille, while the gentlemen were
dressed In that free-and-easy, uncon-
ventional style characteristic Of west
ern life. The apartment was illuml-
mated by electric lights which inter-
mittently shone down through the
ventilator while the music consisted
Of familiar thunder-clap fugues with
tinkling hailstone variations. After
spending IN hour discussing the rela-
tive merits and pleasures of death by
cyclone, hail and lightning the party
assembled to the surface OF the enrth,
declaring 1t was the best time they
had experienced since the three days
blizzard of 'ss. 1t Is said Doc Setee-
ner gave n cave party for bachelors
the same evening, MS did also Boss
Barton. In fact, this sort Of enter
tainment Is q common pastime down
there. One 10 always sure of n pleas
ant visit with the Harold cave dwell
lers.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
Tho pcculiarjty,

Philadelphia Record: "The Chinese
language is very peculiar"
Yes" answered the worried-look-
ing man with the newspaper. "When
you hear a word pronounced you can't
spell it, and when you see a word
spelled you can't pronounce it,"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
Nothing There 80 Laugh In.

Chicago Post: "You're very unob-
servant commented his sister. "She's
been laughing in her sleeve all the
time you've been talking 10 her."
"What!" he cried. SIN that ball
costume? Preposterous."
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
Entirely True.

Boston Transcript: Hicks-What a
a you are. You say you slept
like a baby last night, and we heard
you half the night believing like all
possessed.
Wicks-Yes, that's the way my baby
sleeps, you know.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
His Greut Chance.

The Smart Set: Harry-It was kind
of you, old fellow, to look after my
girl while l was away. How can /
ever repay you?
Fred-Well, | still owe the livery
stable man.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08

indianapolis Journal: "You don't
need any medicines; go home and put
your heavy clothes on again."
II can't do it, doctor; my wife's
packed them away in moth balls"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08

Syracuse Herald: Copyreader-Here's
a four column story ON germs in
drinking water. What shall / do
with il?
Editor-Kill the germs.
Copyreader-Kill the germs2
Editor-Yes; boil it down.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
M ~ Test Their Personal Rjnhts.

Cleveland Plain Dealer: A Syracuse
judge ruled a shirt waist man out OF
the curt room the other day. If this
sort of thing keeps up 1t will be Wal
for the fraternity TO get together IA
see if their personal rights do not out
weigh mere prejudices.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
Cheering Him I'm.

Judge: Mr.. Newlywed-I saw your
old lover on the street today, looking
awfully blue.
Mrs. Newlywed-I hope you tried to
cheer him up.
"oh, yes. | showed him my button
less shirt and that new tie you bought
me.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
The Amateur skipper.

Jaggles-It looked to me as II he
might have avoided wrecking his
yacht. Why didn't he keep his tiller
down?
Waggles-I fancy he was too sea-
sick even to do that.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
On. i'm His GnrL.

Chicago News: notwithstanding the
shirt waist, one may humbly hope
that man will never, never copy the
feminine costume to the extent Of
wearing his pocket in an underskirt.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08

Amid Excusabie surroundings.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: do you say
vodeville or vawdeville?"
81 never say yodeville unless l sit in
q box"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08

We refund 10c for every package Of
PUTNAM FADELESS DYE that fails
10 give satisfaction. Monroe Drug Co.,
U~n!onvllle, Mo. Sold by druggists.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08

The advocates Of cremation in Ger.
many have a periodical devoted ex.
clusively TO their interests. 1t is called
Flamme (fame(
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08

/ an sure Piso's Cure for Consump-
ton saved my life three years ago
Mrs. Thomas Robbins, Maple street,
Norwich. n. y, February II, 1900.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08

OF the 10000 Chinese in San Fran.
cisco $4,000 are employed as domes.
tics.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08

Cnrter's Ink Is Scientifically
compounded Of the best materials. IL your
dealer does not keep II he can get Ii for you.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08

Mrs. winsiow's eooruINa srHur for Children
~tsethinE. softens the gums. reduces Inflammation.
allays pain, cures wind collie. sbc q bottle.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
Backache Cured

"DEAR Mrs. PrNKHAM I'll write to
thank you for the good Lydia e. Pink
ham'sVegetable Compoundh has done me.
1t is the only medicine / have found
that helped me. ! doctored with one
Of the best physicians in the city Of
New York, but received no benefit. I
had been ailing for about sixteen years,
was SO weak and nervous that / could
hardly walk had continued pain in my
back and was troubled with leucorrhna-
Menses were irregular and painful.
Words cannot express the benefit / have
derived from the use of your medicine.
l heartily recommend it to all suffering
women Mrs, MARY B~ARsHIsaER,
Windsor, Pa.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund the money If it fails TO cure.
r. w. Groves signature is on each box. 25c.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08

viz UaMA' i Siye sm Tl5nli5g, VIM IN T TodfS
health, hitting for success, happiness IA business
professional, social, married life. 81 OF 3 for as
mail on receipt of price. IL. S. Baker, Sioux CIV
Wholesale, HuTlbut q Macarthur, Des MolneS ~
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1900-09-08
KIDNEY TROUBLES OF WOMEN
Miss Fredericlts Letters Show How She
Relied ON Mrs. Pinkham and Was

Cured.
"DEAR MRS. PINKHAM:--I have Q
yellow, muddy complexion, feel tired
and have bearing down pains. Menses
have not appeared for three months;
sometimes am troubled with q white
discharge. Also have kidney and blad-
der trouble.
/ have been this way for a long time,
and feel so miserable / thought / would
write to you and see If you could do mo
any good MISS EDNA FREDERICK,
Troy, Ohio, Aug. 8, 1899.
"DEAR Mrs. PNKnAM IT have used
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound according to directions, and can
say l have not felt so well for years rs
l do at present. Before taking your
medicine a more miserable person you
never saw. / could not eat or sleep,
and did not care to talk with any one.
Now l feel SO well / cannot be grateful
enough to you for what you have done
for me."-MIss EDNA FnEpERIcx, Troy,
Ohio, Sept. 10, 1890.