davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
Old Sea Dog.

There are SO many barks On the
sea, remarked the girl who was lean.
Ing over the rail.
Perhaps they come from the ocean
Kreyhounds," ventured her tall com.
Ranion.-Philadelphi Record.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
A Variable.

Teasher-How many pouads to the
long ton?
Preoocisus Pupi1-Two thousand
two hundred and forty.
Teaoher--ARd how many to the
short ton?
Precocious Pupa-Deponds on the
coal dealer.-Puck.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
A slim Diet

Guest-I haven't any appetite at all
to-day.
Waiter-Not feelin' well, sab?
Guest-Fm about half sick Can't
touch more than a mouthfuL Bring
me COUPE of spring chickens.-N.
Y. Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
Might Rite the ANGELS

A four-year-old girl. whose dog hal
died, said to her Sunday school teach.
or; II guess the angels were afraid
when they saw him coming up ths
walk. He's cross to strangers. Gin.
Einnati Enquirer.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
Bee. That ventIlats the H,x

In each beehive are q number Of
nursing bees, who do not go out to
gather honey, but look after the eggs
and young, and a certain number are
always told off to ventilate a hive.
These stand close to the entrance and
fan strongly with their wings.-Chi.
cago Chronicle.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17

Reckless xeuth-Father. dear. would
1t Be asking tss much for yea to sd-
vance me . small loaa--say shout $50
The Governor-Eot ~ all, my son.
Yea might ask me for double the
amount with equal hkehheod Of get
ting IL Yex cant afford to be modest
in those little requests biz more than
1 can afford 10 grant thsm.-Ohie State
Journal
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17

Freddie-What do you mean by the
embarrassment of riches, dad7
His Powell, my boy, once heard
Of woman who had fine set Of dishea,
and she was so afraid of the servants
breaking them that she washed them
herself.-N. Y. World.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
The SEQUEL.

"Ah. but you have towing husband
Mrs Simms. 1 remember before youl
marriage he said he would move heav
On and earth fer you"
81 remember; but now that we arr
married he went even oondsscsnd Il
move the dresser 30 that mar swsey
Aeneath it."-Chicage Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
sl1lIli1 lCN IT, 1900
Soe pp to HI. Promise.

John, she said, soTrowfuny, "yo,
promised me when 1 said 1 would b,
your wife that you would embrace re
hgion for my sake-thst you would b,
O pillar of the church"
We'll" he asked, haven't I beer
going regularlyP''
"Yes," she sighed, "but couldn'
help thinking as I watched you Sun
day while the preacher was deliver
tng his sermon that instead of bein,
pillar in the church you would hav,
been more comfortable if you couls
have had a pillow in it," - Chicag,
Tmes-Herald.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
Condensed TraxedIe..

What do you think is the saddesa
work Of fiction yos ever read ?"
'The cock book. /" answered she young
woman who had not been married very
long. mot moro than one In ten oi
those pieces come out right."-Wash.
Nngton Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
ResuninE Hs.til.tien

"Rev. DR.. UPtodats breaches on SUM-
day"
He has just returned from a three
months vacation, haA he not?"
Yes. On Sunday he will notify
satan that the armistics is OVER
Puck.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17

Aae-Inex seems 10 unhappy sine,
her marriage.
Ethei-Eo wsadsri Fer husband
In such a poor spirited creature that h
agrees with her ia everything. She's
tust dying for some one to quarre
WSth.-N. Y. Journal.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17

Shall I order dinner fog you 2" asked
$he oficial OF the jury, while the twelfth
manwas holding out against the eleven
Xes," replied one Of the eleven, =
make it eleven dinners and a bale q,
hay."-N. Y. Times.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
Help wanted.

Mistress Ito new esok)-I shall 60 tc
market with you on Wednesdays anC
Saturdays.
New Cook-All roight, mum. But
who'll be afther carryin' the marketin
ON other days, mumf-Chicago DAILY
News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
Perfect.

wish were nearer perfection" said
As sat en- the sofa with her:
Ehs lamp threw a halo OF gold Ger heI
head,
Her breath was like orris and myrrh.
what's easy" shs said with a smile In hel
eye.
A trick she had gathered from Venus;
And then. with q laugh and a futterins
sigh,
She cast out the pillow between us.
PUCK
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
The COhenCO.,
IL TO II e. BROA DST.
An Explain alton.

Mrs. Youngparent-I wonder why
the baby always wakes up crying?
Mr.. Youngparent (wearily)-Oh,
suppose that il suddenly occurs to him
that he hasn't made any trouble fol
some time, and it makes him mad
Chicago Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17

Constance H.-De you think YOU esa
get nay husband aoQsittSd7
Lauyer-Pn afraid not, madam.
Constance R.-Why, everybody knows
my husband!
Lawyer-That II just the troubls.-
Chicago Chronicle.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
Miss eothsxa's Idea

ds-so you waited FOmpsii7
She-Oh, yes.
He-How did ysu Ike it7
she-Well. must say 1 was awful
ly disappointed in the place. OF
course, it was beautifully located and
all that, but it was drssdfully cut Of
repair.-Tit-Bits.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
An Explanation.

Hs-A womsn's face shows her tai
ent
She-How so7
Howell, there's Miss Antiquate, FOL
example. Her face tells me that al,
La great artist.-Chieago Daily News
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
Just tha wmy shs Has.

The flrst Of vemAn's want Is man.
In that there's nothing strange;
But after gsttfnE him she wants
From his pocket all the change.
-Chicago Daily News
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17

Bashful Admirer-I dreamt las,
aight that 1 proposed to you, Miss
Dora. 1 wonder what the meaning o.
that dream ise
Dora--It simply means that you hav.
more courage asleep than awake
Ehegende Blaetter.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
Rest.

;. when ysu SEQ the folks are restless,
OF course you stop" said /,
oh no. when see they're restful"
y Said the preacher. with a sigh.
-Detroit JournAl
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17

His Think.
He thought he thought great Thoughts snd
thought
Ne other thought q thought:
III ethers ever thougkt he thought
They thought he thought he thought
Chicago Ttmss-Hsrald
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-11-17
Madam Alviah.

OFFICE HOURS:
From 10 A. M. to 10 P. M.
DAILY.
Wonderfully Gifted Clair
voyant and Business Medium
can be consulted upon all af-
fairs Of life.
II marriage, siekne So, death. changes
travels, divorce, 8, psrations, lawsuits,
business transactions, wills, deeds,
morris ages. lost or absent friends in.
terest YOU: il you desire to be more
successful il you desire to have your
domestic trou BILE removed; your lost
love returned your enemies convert
ed into stauDch friends in q word,
whatever may be your trouble. suspi-
ciops or desires, call on tits wonder
fully gifted Lady.
IL secret enemies have hurt you,
the Madam can remove their evil in
huences and cure you.
Readings by mail, send
soiled pocket handkerchief
and $I.oo, and receive com
plete life reading. All bust.
ness strictly confidential.
MADAM ALVIAH,
32I Brook Ave,
North Park union., 1900-05-11
FRIDAY. MAJ II. 1900.
DOWN THE PLATTE.

SARATOGA, our neighbor down the
Platte river over in Wyoming, is
hopefully bouyant this spring as to
its coming prosperity. 1t claims to
have very rich gold mines almost IN
its door yatd, excellent copper mines
only short distance away, and is
also almost sure TO have railroad,
perhaps the Burlington, within d year.
1t also has new management in
its Hot Springs Hotel which means a
good deal for the town. Good luck
to your enterprise and surroundings;
but while you are feeling the impulse
of good times and much hope for
your immediate future, just remem-
ber that the great North Park coun-
try only few miles up the valley
will feel the effects Of the commercial
artery and can also throw out some
very alluring inducements to build up
our way and tap this wonderfully un-
developed empire.
North Park has untold wealth con-
cealed In her mountain sides in the
shape of undeveloped mineral, and
consisting of lead, copper, gold, coal
and silver, besides its resources of
timber, stone lumber, hay, cattle,
horses, etc. Saratoga, when you get
a railroad Just send 1t right on up the
valley and it will never regret coming
into North Park; We will assure you,
and il too, OF that fact.
North Park union., 1900-05-11
kind. Why not have a marshal to
look out for such?

look out lot SUCH!
AT the school election held last
Monday, Mr.. Z. A. Barber was elected
President of the Board aud Mr.. John
Riggen Treasurer. A very light vote
was polled. 4 special tax of s mills
on the dollar was voted FOR incidental
and other expenses. 1t certainly is
the desire OF many patrons of the
school that provision be made for the
education of all pupils entitled to en-
ter the high school grade, for their in
'struction at Walden. Hope the new
board will arrange accordingly.
Chas. Snyder is erecting a woven
wire fence between his hotel and the
old Union office near the town pump
He proposes also as member OF the
town board to have water for irrigat-
ing all lots and lawns, and in every
way to beentify the town and make
it more attractive and home like. In
this we hope the Mayor and other
members will unite and also that all
citizens will aid in. every possible way
with view to make Walden what it
ought to be, an attractive place to
live.
North Park union., 1900-05-11
THE srATEsMAN

THE srATEsMAN
ABOVE THE POLITICIAN.
In HIS speech in the Senate on the
Porto Rican tariff bill Senator Proc.
tor of Vermont, who is staunch re-
publican, opposes the tariff measure
and rises above party in this perora-
ton of true craftsmanship. Here
are his words:
"The plea Of harmony IN the party
appeals to me strongly. But this is
a question higher than party or poll
cy; it is question of principle, and
it is better that even small minority
of the party should be right than that
we all should be wrong. 1t is vital
consequence that this, our first i'm
portant step in legislation for our
new possessions, should be such as to
commend itself to the judgment and
conscience of the American people"
How does such language compare
with the demagogery Of n representa-
tive from Ohio by the name of Gros-
yenor.
North Park union., 1900-05-11

THE republican national convention
will meet at Philadelphia five weeks
from next Tuesday Dune 19). So
far as the delegates are concerned 1t
will be the most perfanctory political
gathering ever assembled on this
earth. And SO far as results go il
maght as well be composed of only
two men-Mark Hanna and John D.
Rockefeller. The nominees and plat
form are already named and made,
and the only thing to do will be tc
read them off, and the slaves of I'm
periallsm will shout their hurrah, just
as. the patrot says Pou. Is that
Americanism? Well, hardly.
North Park union., 1900-05-11
About People
Mome Events

Jack Greene came into town We'd
nesday ON two wheels Of lumber
wagon.
Nick Cox is removing his house
from down near the old creamery to
a lot back of the Union office.
Tim Greene has gone TO superin-
tend the engine ut Dow & Eafeeer's
saw mill.
Mrs. Mark. Baldwin and children
came in on Wednesdays stage from
an extended visit at Laramie.
Tuesday, May 8, was the first day
we could comfortably sit in our office
without fire. Wednesday was like
wise
Mr.. II. P. Butler will soon have his
garden oil planted. He put in a
small patch Of barley, oats and tim
othy.
Mrs. Sid Lawrence will be in Wal
den about May Is with full line of
ladies trimmed hats; also silk waists,
which she will sell at Borrow PRICES.
At the school election held in Dis
trick No. ID, MIR. John B. Riach was
elected president for three years and
Mr. James Taylor secretary for two
years.
Isaac Lebow started to move to
the Encampment country in Wyom-
ing Thursday morning. He took his
family and stock just as though he
intends to stay.
Mr.. Frank Staples returned Sunday
from a visit to the state of Maine.
He spent all winter in that far-ofi
Yankee land but comes back much
improved in health.
Three Steamboat Springs tourists
camped mt the Michigan Tuesday
night. They are little too previous
for trip over the range unless they
are prepared with snow shoes.
Mr. John Price was doing business
in town Wednesday. He lives in the
neck of the park towards Mountain
Home and has road ranch for the
accommodation Of weary travellers.
The glorious weather we haze had
this week will make feed in abund-
ance and bring forward all crops that
have been planted 10 the full salts
faction of the optimistic ranchman.
Pueblo boasts of u population OF
10000 people, and also that its
monthly pay roll to employees of its
several manufacturing industries is
half million dollars. Indeed that
is something in which city can take
just pride.
Monte Bleyins, our enterprising
stockman, is preparing to build a
comfortable and commodius frame
house on his ranch on the Michigan
east of town. Will Brennon is haul
ing sand for the purpose from Mr..
Riggen's place.
In addition to the bounties ON
wolves and coyotes oHered by the
North Park Stock Growers Associa-
ton, notice of which see this week,
We. are authorized to state that other
parties have guaranteed enough
money to make the bounties come up
as follows: $40 on gray wolves, 81
on. cub gray wolves, II on coyotes
and 25 cents..on coyote pups
The would-bc bad man with & re-
yolver was brought up before his
honor Justice Beckw,th Saturday and
fined a9e.oe And costs fors making q
gun play in scwn the dshet day. Just
keep this law and order work going
on t,ptil it yiH not only be unsafe,
But an &C, nurc to meet certain pun
ishment for any man to swagger up
and down our streets, threatening to
TO great things With weapons Of any
North Park union., 1900-05-11

legislation," states that "the more
nearly the government is controlled
by the people directly, the better it
will be for oil classes" That must
be bitter pill for rank republican
paper like the Gazette. That's pop
ulism, pure and simple, under another
name.
North Park union., 1900-05-11

" IT is true, as some papers allege
that Admiral Dewey twill be amply
repaid, if not elected, if Bryan is
defeated then his candidacy de-
scends to that of the pcttifogging
politician, and deserves the contempt
of all honorable men.
North Park union., 1900-05-11

GEORGE CuRRIE, who was recently
shot and killed in Utah, was fully
identified as one of the train robbers
at Wilcox, Wyoming about a year
ago.
North Park union., 1900-05-11

THE CLEANING given to the main
streets of Walden during the week is
a much-needed improvement and
adds much to the neat appearance of
our little town.
North Park union., 1900-05-11

Mrs. ANNA d. HOLIDAY of Lata-
mie, Wyoming, made an eloquent
appeal to the city council few days
ago to SECURE an appropriation in be-
half of the Memorial Day services, in
honor Of the nations lead. She was
met by. the proposition that such aP-
preparations were unconstitutional,
but so persisten. ard SO eloquent
were her st atements that the council
voted the financial aid she desired
five tp one. q, y.
Hurrah for Mrs. Holiday. Heres
the hand Of . living old soldier who
can appreciate such noble deed in
honor Of his dead comrades.
North Park union., 1900-05-11

Saloons, Newsstand, General Stores and Barbers
Shops They bsnish pain induce sleep. and prolons ie
One gives rslisf No matter what's the matter. Will
do you good. Ten samples and thousand test-
nooas sent BY mail TO address receipt Of price,
North Park union., 1900-05-11
North Park Circuit.

Walden, Sunday May ID. Sun
day School 2 o'clock p. m. Sermon
by Pastor 7:3O O'Clock p. m.
North Park union., 1900-05-11

:. II IA stated that an American owns
In apron made. by tue. npfertunate
Mary Queen Of scoss during her long
nineteen years Of imprisonment The
owner refuses s5o,eec fpr this relic
and even declines to alle~ the method
81 il intricate construction to be
examined into. 8. It il said to- be q
inastersiece of needle work, and was
found secreted upier fhe lining OF
one Of the-unhhppy qusen's robes.
North Park union., 1900-05-11

iii CoLokxbs spa,xas GAzErTE,
6em4ensips on the opinion q
George's Weekly toncatnlns "direct
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-09-29
An Enlargement.


We must take one of two positions:
If the islanders are not part of us, then
we are making war upon poor, weak people
for no Just cause, and who have done us nc
wrong
If they are part of us, then we are guilty
of warning upon our own people because
they object to being made part of us against
their own will.-ChdricS 4. Little.
If anybody has put the republican in
siStcnce in terms more concise the jour
MAI. has not seen 1t.
The voter may accept either horn OF
the dilemma presented and he will be
endorsing Il policy radically I'M
American.
The country's crusade of commercial
ism i'll the Phillippines-if there is tc
be or can be no turning back" as Gen.
FitZhugh Lee contends, has, therefore,
furnished the first occasion i'll
American history when the immortal
principle upon which our system is
founded -"government by CONSENT
must be repudiated "h"thrr m" Fhpi"oS
are of MS or UDf
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-09-29
TOWN AND VICINITY.
Accounted For.

Sometimes passers-by cannot help see
ing things that should be hid from
mortal sight.
One last week saw what looked like Il
fraternal lovc-feast between David and
Jonathan.
He was on the street, or in the alley
the JOURNAL fOrgets which.
Anyway, he saw David and Jonathan
from an outlook in or near the grave
stone end of the Forum studying some.
thing and apparently comparing notes,
or they were enjoying the smell of a
burial-vault, probably secondhand af-
fair from Vermont.
They were so near each other that the
passer-by, stopping for only moment,
couldn't tell which wore the bob-tail
muley cow-speckled and mule dimpled
whiskers.
1t is now thought they We're wrestling
with the job of composing" those three
hog-headed and nake-hearted para
mount paragraphs which appeared in
their disreputable sheet last week.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-09-29
call them names, and charge them with

call them names, and charge them with
being Eat heart" for the opposition.
According to Johnnie and 1.-the organi-
cation, it is always the wrong time to
object to their doings, no matter
when the objection is made. This has
been the cry in this county for many
long years, and if the people listen to it,
it will be the cry for many long years to
come. 1t Is just as good time now to
organize to break it up as We'll ever
have. The Democratic League is not
going to NEEDLE i'll anything the ''Or-
ganiZation" does in furtheranCe of the
success of the democratic national or
congressional ticket. On the contrary,
We'll do all we can to help along the
good cause. We have been doing it all
summer, and We'll fight it ont on this
line until November. If we did not do
what we have been doing we would be
deprived of the privilege of helping the
cause at all III this county, for "the or
ganiZatiOn' would compel us to take
''back seats as they did at the great
Bryan meeting here recently. We We're
not invited by "the organization to
help in that business, because we protest
against bossism. We would not be per
mitted to help i'll the canvass for the
same reason; hence we are compelled
''to paddle our own canoe" and we are
doing it i'll tirstclass shape, too, The
Democratic League OF Allegany county
wants every loyal democrat and every
patriotic republican i'll the county to
vote for Bryan and Stevenson and Major
Little, and thereby take their stand on
the side of the Republic and against the
Empire and the trusts. Johnnie Avrirett
and his so-called organization" may do
their level best, and call us all the ugly
names they see fit, but we want them to
understand, once and for all time, that
they can drive us out of the democrat
ic party or prevent us from voting and
working for the election of Bryan and
Stevenson and Major Little. We know
our rights in the democratic party and
we intend to maintain those rights re-
gardless of the Times or "thc organiza-
ton" We want democratic organi-
cation wherein every democrat, no
matter how humble he may be, shall
have an equal opportunity for promo
ton and encouragement. We want an
organization wherein the young men of
the party shall be recognized and re-
warded for faithful party services, and
not sat upon as soon as they begin to
think for themselves. We want no
bosses, rings or cliques in the party, but
we do want Il united, harmonious, Ell
thusiastic party, and this we can not
have until we get rid Of the present
barnacleS.
A MEMBER OF TIE Democratic LEAGUE.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-09-29
Social.

One of the most delightful occasions
of the year We're reception and dance
given by the Misses Houck Thursday
evening of last week at the family resi-
dence, Mt. Savage, in honor of their
guest, Miss Fora Jewell, of Pittsburg,
Pa. The residence and lawn were beau
tifully adorned with ferns, flowers and
hundreds of colored lanterns. The Mt.
Savage orchestra furnished the music,
but among the many delightful "side
issues We're piano solos by Misses Nellie
V. Betz and Fanny Lee Adams. The
refreshments We're all the most fastidious
taste and vigorous relish could ask, and
those who fortunately enjoyed the even
ing hail as indicated below:
C"mderlamd- Stump, Misses Fanny
Lee Adams and Teresa Mccall, and Messrs.
Charles Holzshu and Lloyd Shaffer
Piedmomt-Misses Daisy Boyle and Norma
Smoot and DIR. T. A. Cross
Lonacoming-Misses Fanny and Mary
Dixon, and Messrs. John, David and William
Dixon and John Hamilton.
frostbmy-Msses Emma Hohing and
Nellie V. Betz, DR.. l. l.. Ritter, Messrs Ger
shon Anthony, Charles Jetfries, James Taylor
and Charles Gross
Terre Haute, Md.-D. X. Scott, Robert
A. Scott
Mt. Sacoge-Misses Uhl, Ewald, Mrs. Tur-
ner, Mrs Charles Evans, Mr. and Mrs Charles
Goetz, Mr.. Ewald and Otis Jewett
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-09-29
Characteristic Remark.

"Lce Fairchild, republican spellbind-
en- says the New York IIorid, found his
voice giving out the other day when he
was trying to make monday speech.
Owing to the noise of passing trucks he
was compelled to give up, as theaudience
grew impatient and yelled for him to
talk louder. Waiting for lull in the
noise, he said
am not going to talk any more, because
the trucks passing make too much noise, but
| want to say that if you elect Bryan there
will not be enough trucks passing to drown
babys voice.
Ever since Lees sad experience with
the ForHm company he makes use of
every opportunity, happy or unhappy, to
exhibit his prejudice against babies.