davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1900-12-23
THEY WERE ALL SCARED.
A Case OF Highway Robbery with .
Peculiar Ending.

What tbe hero % this story kicks
about Is the fact that his wife forgot
her sacred vord never 10 say anything
regarding IL His business keeps him
out late and ae frequently carries con-
siderable uogcy. When footpads are
reported M evidence be gets rs near
home as be can by street car and then
takes the best lighted route TO bis
house
one night he had reached the front %
bis own place and had just drawn a
long Sigh o. relief when the order
Hands up startled him into compli.
nnce One nan held a gun In the i'm
mediate Ueighhorhood % his ear and
another systematically robbed him Of
everything worth carrying on. The or.
der then was that he walk around the
block 80 NJ % defer the use Of his tele-
phone and Il was clearly stated that
amy attempt 10 turn back. run or call
for help would result IN bis being
assasslnated
Before be- reached the corner Il
struck him that the voice ~ one of the
men sounded familiar and then that It's
owner was near neighbour greatly
given 10 practical Joking Back he
went on tlptocs. his revolver IN his
right hand. and surprised the footpads
a. they were dividing the spoIls. lie
made them lay everything on the walk.
and when they Strengthened up await.
Ing the next order he discovered that
both were total strangers. His hand
dropped from sheer terror, and then
the robbers ran one way, while he
sprlnted the other. Half an hour later
he, his wife and a lantern, a revolver
and the hired girl went out and found
his money. watch. papers and diamond
pin. His wife simply ruined the story
BY telling II first Detroit Free Press.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1900-12-23
The Telegram Came.

Blngo-IIas telegram come for mel
Mrs. Blngo-liave you been expect.
Ing oncl
Bingo-Oh. no; Of course not. (Sar.
cnstically) You don't suppose | would
ask you that question II expected one.
do your
Mrs. Blneo (swcetly)-You might
dear What wouh you say now II
should say that telegram has come
for your
BIngo-Ahal knew H. I've been
expecting that telegram all the after
noon. dmpatientlyl Where is ~
Mrs. Blngo-I'n get IL. But. dear. l
thought Il best TO open IL. You didn't
mind, did you dearestl
Bingo-C Certainly not. It's only a
matter Of business. From Jack Enslow.
lsn'tit7
Mrs Blngo Yes. dear.
Bngo-lmportant meeting tonight
Says | must be there, doesn't hel
Mrs Blngo-Ycs. dear.
Bingo rubbing bis handg-l knew II
Well. IN have TO rush or after dinner.
Sorry Tor you. my dear, but, you know,
business must boz attended 20.
/ Mrs. Blngo-Oh. that's all right, dar.
ling. But don't you want to see the
messenger
/ Blngo-Why should II You opened Il
like a good wife that you are. and OF
course can trust you. Jack wants me
Cdellghtedly). That's all. and must go.
Mrs. Blngo-But there was one thing
more he said, my pet
Blngo (susplclouslyl-Oh, there was.
Well. what was ~
] Mrs. Blngo (all smiles)-He says he's
front row seats.-Pearsop'A.G.. !. =
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1900-12-23
A Bu.lne.. Proposition.

Now. here Is a poet who Is practical
enough. He halls from Dooly county,
and IL viii be seen from bis letter that
he means business lie writes:
Il have wrote a poem about 100
yards long. as nigh as kin guess. II
took me six months an two hours 10
write It. Amt no Judge Of these
things. an what want TO know Is
where kin hire a good man TO read
IL Tor me an tell me what IL is. To
SIGH n man will pay 81 a day till be
gifts through. only be mustn't take too
longF-Atlanta Constitution.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1900-12-23
Tn 60 Date specialist"

Doctor-I put mirrors In my waiting
rooms Instead Of magazines.
Friend-How does IL work.
Doctor-Fine. People are so fond OF
looking az themselves that they come
early so as 10 have a chance 10 walt
Town Topics.
20 scotland aa ucrusru premises. ex'
rept hotels, are closed sundays aud
one must be nj least technically "A
traveller" before be can obtain liquor.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
An Old salt,s Stories.

The captain Of the brig was much
disliked by his officers, and, being i'll
with yellow fever and likely to die, the
first lieutenant used to drill the ma
rines in the burial service on the deck
over the captains cabin by way Of
cheering him up, the corporal giving
his orders in loud voice thus: 1.-The
corpse is now a-coming up the 'atch-
way! Reverse harms!" The skipper
ultimately recovered.
The commander of certain gunboat
used to say that, having no doctor on
board, he mixed the medicines proyid-
ed in chest into two bottles, and
whenever any of his crew happened
to be sick he drew an imaginary line
across the mans stomach, and accord.
ing as the pain was above OF below
that line he gave him dose out of No
/ or No. 2. He claimed that no man
ever came to him twice, which was
very likely.-"Hurrah For the Life OF
Sailor" by Vice Admiral Kennedy.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21

There are few departments of hui
man life where man has been so en-
tirely anticipated and at the same time
surpassed by the lower animals as in
the invention of armor.
His cunningest devices of the mailed
fist order We're none of them original.
If you examine a fine and fully devel-
oped suit of plate armor in the form
which it assumed at it's highest zenith
in the fifteenth century, you will find
that the trunk and limbs were COM
pletely inclosed in splendid fitting,
joipted case Of iron plates, all exqui-
sitely polished. The suit as whole
was a triumphant product Of the ar
morer's art.
Yet if you look at q Holsters tail you
will see at glance that all these clev-
er devices of mans imagining had
been invented and patented long be-
fore by nature and that the elaborate
workmanship of the Plantagenet
craftsmen who cased knight and horse
for the battlefield or the tournament in
! glistening metal was but poor imita-
ton of the ineffable skill with which
| the unheeded crustaceans of the time
| protected every vulnerable portion Of
1 their bodies from the assaults and at
tacks of their submarine enemies
Strand Magazine.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
A Doctors Letter.

A well known M. p. tells an amusing
story Of an old aunt of his. Being on
one occasion very nervous, she told
her physician she thought Bath would
do her good.
IT'S very odd" said DIR. W., "but
that's the very thing that was going
to recommend to you. will write the
particulars Of your case to very clev-
er man there. in whose hands you will
be well taken care Of
The lady, furnished with the letter,
set off. On arriving at Bath, feeling. as
usual. very nervous. she said to con-
tidant:
Long as DR.. Walter has attended
me he has never explained to me what
ais me. have a great mind to open
his letter and see what he has stated
Of my case to the Bath physician"
In vain her friend represented to her
the breach of confidence this would be,
She opened the letter and read:
Dear Davis-Keep the old lady three weeks ant
send her back again.
London Tit-Bits.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
Unnatural History.

The Bottle of Hair Tonic was in
self congratulatory mood. WELL" it
boasted, 81 think can tell hair rails
ing ghost stories if any one can"
The coy Peach was very angry as
well as stirred up when the house.
keeper ladled her into the preserve jar.
Now, wouldn't that jar your she ex-
claimed. rather slangy.
The False Tooth spoke with icy
hauteur: II belong to the upper set !"
Possibly" retorted the bobtailed Kite
incisively, but let it be distinctly I'M
derstood that myself move in the
highest circles"
The cracked piece of psuedo antique
China spoke frankly: "Of course I'm
not what I'm cracked up to be-
Then her feminihity asserted itself,
and she finished coyly, But I'm not
nearly as old as look
The angry Stick Of Giant Powder
stormed at the proud patrician Tack.
You have big head because you
have laid few carpets low" The
Tack was silent. I'm supreme" boast
ed the Powder, waxing bold. mo one
can hold a candle to me, and every
one Is afraid to blow me up" Well
retorted the Tack pointedly. at the
same time striking match, nobody
can wa1 over a member of the Tack
family with IMMUNITY" Philadelphia
Innufrer
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
Els Own Trap.

There is a young man in the pension
Office who is buying a house on the
installmen. plan at a town somewhere
Between this city and Baltimore, and
his dear little wife lives out there. 1t
is his wont to come in early of morn
ing and to go out again on the $50
train when his days work is done. \
few days ago he met an old friend from
Chicago, and yielding to the entreaties
of that old friend he decided to spend
the evening in town. He was so afraid
wife would feel hurt if she knew that
he had deliberately planned an even
ing's good time without counting her
In that he manfully resolved to deceive
her. Accordingly as he came away
from the office he went to telegraph
office and sept this message to her:
"Unavoidably detained. Missed $3.50
train. Will be out later"
1t was great deal later when he
reached his happy home. Wife met
Aim at the door, and there was look
in her eye that every married man
learns to know and instinctively to
dread.
did you get my message precious?"
he asked as he kissed her tenderly,
holding his breath meanwhile as a pre-
cautionary measure.
Yes, dear" she made answer, and
when woman calls her husband
"dear" that way you can cut loose from
the weather bureau and prognosticate
few things on your own hook. yes,
dear, 1 received your message. Here
it is"
There it was, sure enough. 1t was
marked as plain as plain could be,
Received at a %" He hadn't thought
of hat.-Washington Post.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21

There is no game eNtant which so
admirably combines educational and
recreative features or which is in every
way SO well adapted for popular and
profitable amusement among refined
and appreciative classes as draughts.
Its Influences are of an elevating char
acter. 1t not only teaches, but prac-
tically enforees, the necessity of pa.
tience and perseverance, courage and
courtesy. self reliance and self control
The game is also peculiarly and self
evidently worthy of paternal encour-
agement, as a knowledge of its incom-
parable beauties will destroy the taste
for demoralizing games Of chance. :
Scottish American.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
Trouble In the Church.

The Kennebec (Me9 Journal says:
"They made strenuous matter of re-
ligion-in the good old days, as is shown
by this extract from the diary of
Charles Dreamer of Waldoboro. under
date of June, 1928:
Sunday there was knockdown in
the Congregational meeting house be-
tween the Congregationalists and Uni
versalists. The universalists came off
victorious. I was there. Saturday
night the pulpit was guarded all night
by men with clubs. Sunday was the
great day. Both parties occupied the
church, and there We're great music
and singing. Afterward the Congrega-
tionalists bought out the Universaists
and there was no more trouble
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
FEB WHITE In A CAVE
THE POSTUM HUNTER OF TENNESSEE
TELLS OF A VISION.
1t WINS About Coons and Possuns by
the Hundreds In His Dream, Which.
as Events Proved, Was All /, Mon.
strous, Tarnashaa Lie.
Copyright, 1900, by c. B. Lemis.l

copyright, 1900, by c. B. Lewis.l
"The roof of our cabin had bin lealsin
fur half var, reckon" began old
Zeb White as asked him fur story,
"but as it didn't rain more'n once a
week and as the leak didn't do any
great hurt wasn't breakin my back to
fix it, The old woman didn't say nuth-
in till one mawnin she got up With a
headache and was techy. Seem how it
was, didn't say nuthin to provoke
her, but she burned her hand ag'in the
stove. studied her toe and finally bust
ed out on me with:
"tZeb White. of all the shackelty
critters on this yere Cumberland noun
ting nobody kin hold candle to yo'n
What's wrong " til me?' says l.
Heaps and heapg of things. This
old cabin is, reg'larly fallin to pieces
fur the want of days work. but yo'
amt man huff to take hold and fix
things
"sI'H fix that leak tomorrer.'
"'That's the old song. Yo'll go right
at it this mint or thar'll be row.
"'Look here, now, says l, speakin as
!. softly as could, 'I'll work all day to-
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
London Tit
A Profitable Deposit.


remember the case of an old lady at
3. who usually had from f13,000 to
$4,000 standing to her credit. and,
needless to say, as she did not ask for
any interest thereupon. none was al
lowed her. The manager whenever
she entered the office was always most
particular to step forward and inquire
most tenderly concerning the state of
her health, and if she replied that she
was suffering from u Slight cold the
expression upon the mans face grew
quite sad. No wonder, when he re-
membered that even a slight cold might
carry off an old lady who was handing
his company at least $500 year
"How to Deal With Your Banker" by
Henry Warren.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
cros. word. Xiii a Rird.

A bird which receives a scolding Is
made as miserable and unhappy there
by as child would be. To illustrate
this Our Dumb Animals tells the fol-
lowing story:
A Massachusetts woman had a few
years ago a beautiful canary bird
which she dearly loved and to which
she had never spoken an unkind word
in her life.
One day the church organist was
away, and she stopped after church to
play the organ for the Sunday school.
In consequence of this the dinner had
to be put off an hour, and when she got
home her good husband was very an
CRY, and he spoke to her unllindly.
The things were put on, and they sat
down in silence at the table, and pres
emily the bird began to chirp at her as
it always had to attract her attention.
To shame her husband for having spo-
ken so she turned to the bird and ivr
the first time in her life spoke to it in a
most violent and angry tone. In less
than five minutes there was futter-
| ing in the cage. She sprang to the
cage. The bird was dead
Mrs. Hendricks, the wife of the late
! vice president of the United States
said that she once killed a hooking
bird in the same way. 1t annoyed her
by loud singing, To stop it she spoke
! in violent tone and pretended to
throw something at it, and within five
minutes it was dead.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
side, and he s

He Just acrapped the baby up and qcent
out with it in his arms.
tie brat and he looks at it awhile, and
then he says What do you call him?
1T amt him. she says, kind Of
mournful cause it hurt her to see the
father didn't even know about his own
child. It's u girl she Went on. I
think I'll call her Lily Why LilyT
he says, with u laugh. Cause she's
so pure and sweet, says the mother.
Pure and sweet, eh? says the man.
Well, she'll lose all that as she grows
big enough to understand what love
is, just us her mother did Now, /
leave it to you, sir, did you ever hear
of anything worse than that said to a
woman? For man to ruin girl and
throw her shame in her face like that
when she was lyin sick--I calls it an
outrage
And l agree with you most hearth
j ly," said Mr.. Mitchell "Such a man
should be made to suffer"
ooh, he viii. Never you fear for
that. And, look you, wouldn't he suffer
now, maybe, if he could know what
you've told me? Didn't he lay a curse
on that child, prophesying it would lose
its purity? And now she's grown up
amt his miserable words come true?
How would he like to know that?
He'd be beast if he didn't vince
when he heard it. But, after all, so
many men are beasts there's no know
in"
go on with your story, Mrs. Cooper.
| What happened neXt?"
i ooh, it got worse after that. My
friend began to cry, and he told her to
/ shut her whilnperin. Nice language,
/ wasn't it? She tried to stop cryin and
/ was chokin back her sobs that would
/ get out some way when he went at her
/ again. Look here. says he. I've
! come here tonight to tell you somethin,
! and you may as we'll hear it now as
1 later. You said you wouldn't mind the
world so long as you had my love.
We'll, you've lost my love. so that ends
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
lNFANTDlEs NEGLECT
Woman at Fort Dodge May BE Held ON II

Serious Charge.
Fort Dodge. Ia, Aug. 21.-A revolt
ing case of possible infanticide has
just been discovered here. Sunday
evening while some men We're walking
through some thickets along the Des
Moines river bank they discovered a
woman lying in the thicket with a
new born child by her side. She had
been there since Thursday night and
had been exposed to the heavy rains,
The child was born Saturday night,
1t was dead when found and no effort
had been made on the part of the
mother to save it's life. The woman's
name is Mcintyre and she formerly
lived in Sioux City. She has been ar.
rested and may be held to the grand
jury for infanticide.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
Exnlained

NAV, what's de difference between
er politician and er statesman?"
well, honey, mushrooms good,
amt it?"
Yes, 'um."
"And toadstool is pizen, amt it?'
Eyes, 'um."
"And dey bof look aliker
Eyes, 'um."
.Des same difference from a states
man to politician Brooklyn Life.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
An obligins Trndesmnn.

Mrs. Youngwife--I want five pounds
of sugar, please.
Dealer-Yes, ma'am. Shall we send
it for you?
Mrs. Youngwife-No III take it with
me if it isn't too hesvy.
Dealer-Tll make it as light as pos
sible for you. ma'am. Philadelphia
Press.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
A Hustler.
This is the letterhead of an Iowa law
-, LAWYER.

Practices in every court on the western hemi
sphere. Perfects titles and buys and sells mort
cages. Makes loans and collections. Am the red
headed, scar faced, freclde begrimed legal Ma
poleon of the slope and always in the saddle. Ac-
tive as the wild, untatned feline. Fierce as lion
and gentle as dove.
"AND WITH GOOD ADVICE MAKE WAR"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21

The record for Ceylon snipe shooting
still remains that of the muzzle loader,
100 couples in one day. This record
was made by Ceylon civil servant
called Tranchell early in the nineteenth
century. Average gunners get 30 to 40
couples aday.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-21
Why He Read 1t.

"Have you read Borus' latest book,
Boiled Brains?''
"Yes."
81 thought YOU didn't like Borus'
style"
Il don't"
What did you read his book for?'
Because | knew some Blamed feel
would be sure to ask me if had read
Chicago Tribune.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1900-08-28

scented the wealth, culture and refinement
OF the entire civilized world. They were
guarded by 400 marines representing the
United States, Great Britain, France.
Germany, Russia, Italy and Japan. These
400 men deted and held at bay the mill
iops Of the Chinese capital for weeks.
Night and day, almost without ceasing,
they were under the rife and artillery fire
OF the Chinese imperial troops, but they
prevented the massacre of every foreign
or in Pekin. As an act OF bravery the
conduct OF this handful of marines stands
cut almost without parallel in history.
The siege of the foreigners in the Brit
Ssh legation at Pekin practically began
on June 10. For months before that date
the Boxers had been persistent in their
attacks on foreign missionaries in Pc
Chilli and Shan-runs provinces. In Pc
Kin the anti-foreign element was daily
growing holder.
The diplomatic corps met in Pekln on
May Is and unanimously decided that the
failure Of the TSung-l-Yamen to reply TO
che joint note OF May 20 made the pres
sESe of guards for the legations impera-
tive, and they were summoned ten days
later
The International guards were landed
ut Taku on May 20. and on May 81 they
left Tien-tSin by special train for Pekin.
The combined force was made up as fol-
lows:
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1900-08-28
Te1enranhIc Rrevit1cs.

Seattle. Wash, viii have worlds fair
ID 1901.
There has been a terrible food in New
south Wales
Frank J.ayman. Tannersville, n. Y,
was burned 70 death in forest fire.
Company Of soldiers is being organized
Id Honolulu for service under Uncle Sam
To China.
Edmond Rostand. the distinguished
young dramatist, has been decorated
with the officers cross OF the Legion Of
Honor at Paris.
A Chicago firm has set up line 81 az,
tomobiles to transport passengers be
tween its store and one Of the railroad
stations for &c.
The free rural mail delivery service
now established in the vicinity OF Den
yer is increasing the value Of land along
the way s. an are.
Antiquariaas nave nHearthed between
Eland and EspanOla. y. NJ, a building
containing 1890 rooms and much rich
pottery and several smelters. II is one
OF the remains Of the cliff dwellers.
Navy Department rejected all bids for
aruor plate. Terms unsatisfactory.
New bids will be received.
According TO Australian advices, the
F.ing OF Tonga has proclaimed d British
urofectorate over those islands.
+. G. Southland. ST. Louis. was given q
k.adcd cigar By friend in New York.
He's laid up 10 a hospital for repairs.
Eyre-CraGin syndicate's canal commits
sion has been forfeited 70 Nicaragua on
account az the non-paymeut Of money
due.
Autos are row competing with the troll
ley lines In Washington Tor business. The
cars hold six passensyrs. The fare
eEe cents.