davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
CHRISTOPHER.

during the year. But why give them2
Why tell you that 100000 of our pop
ulation go to bed drunk every night in
the year and that the money spent for
drink every day would provide all the
widows with sealskin sacks and French
heeled shoes? We all know those
things. Let us begin with Christopher
Columbus, who had rather more to do
with America than any man who has
come after him. | give you his picture
on the canvas. You look puzzled and
surprised. You can't make it out. You
behold Christopher lying drunk on the
highway, with jug on one side and a
hog on the other. 1t is q fanciful pic
ture. / want you to look at it closely
and keep it in your minds and every
day for years to come want you to
ask yourself what would have happen
ed If Columbus had been that sort Of
man. When Ferdinand and Isabella had
fitted him out for his voyage. suppose
he had gone and got three days jag
on and had rolled around in the mud
and had had three or four scraps with
other old buns. Can you for an instant
believe that he would have been left in
com mmand of the expedition or that this
country would have been discovered
for the next so years? But there was
no boozing. He may have taken q
farewell drink of root beer or lemon
ade, as was eminently proper, but it
ended right there. and he became world
famous as result. whole hem
isphere and millions of people owe him
a debt of gratitude and will remember
his name forever because of his ab-
stinence. The lesson taught by the pic
ture Is plain to ALL Get drunk. and you
will be sent to the island for 80 days;
remain sober. and you will become fa-
nous.
Ny friends. let me give you the pic
ture of George Washington as he was
about to cross the Delaware and gain. a
great victory over the British. You
observe that George is lying drunk
with his feet on a chair while the pa
triot army waits for him to take the
lead. You murmur and are aghast.
You never heard that the Father Of
His Country got jag on No more
did he. l give you this picture as
an object lesson. and ask you where
this country would have been today
had George gone off on a hoopla at a
critical moment? In those old colonial
days there was corn Juice around by
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
Remembered Too Late.

Speaking of the queer doings of alb.
sentminded people, the following anec
dote is related by the London Globe
"a very irritable man left his house
one morning to attend race meeting
some distance off In order that he
might have enough money to pay his
hotel bill he tied sovereign in the
corner of his handkerchief. In the
train he drew his handkerchief from
his pocket. and noticed the knot in the
corner. Now he said to himself, what
was it wished to fememberY Much
thought failed to enlighten him upon
the point. and at last, in fit of passion
he hurled the handkerchief out Of the
window. Then he remembered"
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
whnt Promntea Him.

capital story of Rolf Boldre-
wood. the distinguished Australian
novelist. is told. After T. A. Browne
had suddenly leaped into fame as Rolf
Boldrewood. author of Robbery Under
Arms" he continued for some years
IS stipendiary magistrate of Albany.
One morning there was brought before
aim rough bushboy Of IA. charged
with having held Up several other boys
N a country road. 1t was proved that
he had presented pistol at them and
compelled them to empty all their
pockets for his benefit.
Dear me-" said the surprised magis-
trate to the juvenile culprit, what
could have prompted you to do such a
ihing?'
Reading Robbery Under Arms 3"
eplied the unabashed boy bushranger.
Chicago News.
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
When You Buy po1lie..

A father was commissioned by his
small daughter to buy dozen little
bisque dolls. Her instructions were SO
many and SO detailed that the father
found himself hesitating to perform
the commission.
''See here, Ethel" he said at last,
Pm afraid I'll make some awful mis-
take. Don't you think you'd better
wait until your cold is better, and then
you can go into town some day with
mamma and pick out the doll babies
for yourselfY
"Oh, no, papa" cried Ethel. 81 do so
want them right off. And, papa, I'll
tell you how to choose them. Just pick
each one up and look straight into its
eyes, and if it looks at you as if it
really and truly loved you, why. you
buy it."-New York Sun.
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
THE BOSS DREW THE LINE.
Trading With n Corpse Was Not Al
lowed In His Camp.

Trading With Corpse Wns Not Al
lowed In His Camp.
The boss of the lumber camp reflled
lis pipe and lighted it.
Yes" said he. Il drew the line on
that.
I'VE had man die in camp this win
ter. He lived just over the boundary.
Nice feller he was, too-thrifty and all
that Every one liked him. Sorry to
haze him go. I;ut after he was gone
we did the best we knew how. Fixed
the body up and sent two of the men
out with it.
He had bought a new pair Of boots
ri the wongan camp two weeks before
he died. and we thought it would be
only right to put those boots on. So we
did. The men started away and came
Lack in three days. One of the men
was wearln them new boots. The other
teller gave it away Said that just be-
fCre they got to the house with the de-
ce-sed the eritter pulled them boots off
the corpse and swapped. Other feller
didn't like it. and said so But the
critter allowed that he had had some
taii with the corpse about swappin a
Few days before he died. Corpse had
allowed that the new boots hurt his
corns and said that pair that had
been broken in would do better. Crit
fer said that he couldn't bear to think
of deceased bein buried in a pair of
boots that hurt his feet. He said that
he should wake up in the night, suttin.
and think about the thing.
"Waal. course there was somethin in
what he said. but as there warn't no
way of gettin at the deceased's side of
the matter, concluded that l wouldn't
let that trade stand There's a good
many things that go in this camp all
right, but dickerin with dead men amt
one of 'em. | draw the line right there.
and draw it sharp | made that feIler
send them boots back. The deceased
has still got the critters old ones. The
feller had to go to the wongan and get
some new ones. And that's so much
more for the company and a commits
sion for me. 'Twarn't bad all round.
When the feller got to jawin about the
thing told him he could still have the
comfort of KNOWN that deceased
wasn't wearin tight boots. ."-Lewiston
Journal
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
No Ellie. In skx.craper..

"If was baldheaded man would
get me an Office on one of the upper
floors of the tallest skyscraper in
town." remarked an attorney. 'Why?
Because I'd never have to brush a fly
from my hairless pate. Flies stay near
the ground, seldom getting more than
30 or 40 feet above it. The only flies
you get in skyscraper are the ones
that stray up through the interior Of
the building, and they are mighty few
You will find them on the lower floors
but just keep your eyes open when you
are in high buildings. you'll see mighty
few of the little pests above the third
or fourth floors, s,"-Cleveland Plain
Dealer
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
what They Said.

Did the girls say anything when
they heard of my engagement" she
asked with a little curiosity.
Every little" was the reply of her
1earest friend.
But they said something?"
''Oh, yes; they said something"
"Well. what was it?"
"Well, most of them merely exclaim-
ed, AT lastv"
There was a pause, and then she
asked:
"well. what did some of the others
sayT'
zone of them said. Who'd have
.hought itY Another, VIII wonders
never ceaseT And third"-
"Oh. never mind the rest" interrupt
ID the fiancee; Il never did have much
,uriosity "-Pittsbarg Chronicle -Tele-
yraph.
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26

the barrel, and 1t was easier to get
drunk than to roll out of bed, but
washington was a man to withstand
temptation. On IL different occasions,
as l figure it, had he gone off on a
tear, instead of attending to business,
this country would not now be the
United States. never hail him as the
great and noble without also blessing
him for not filling up with corn juice.
The analogy is plain to the dullest
mind. Get drunk and fall over your
self and roll around in the catnip. and
you'll die unknown and unwept Let
whisky and beer alone, except when or
Gered for cramps, and a nation will
sorrow at your death and raise monu-
ments to you for a thousand years
after.
The name of John Hancock must al
ways be associated with the DecIara-
tion of Independence. His name was
the first to go down. His was the first
neck to be put into the halter. 1 give
you his picture. He is limpsy drunk
and hanging to a lamppost in the city
of Boston. The convention waits for
him to sign his name to a document
which will change the map Of the
world and bring forth a new nation,
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
Applying the Rule.

After Sunday school little Ned and
his younger cousin, Horton. were per-
mitted to play in the yard on condi-
ton that they would be very good and
quiet. They had not been out long
when Ned's mother heard loud
screams. Upon investigating the
cause she found her small son sitting
on his cousin. pounding him vigorously
in spite of Horizons pitiful walls.
"Well. mamma" Ned exclaimed, 81
wanted to teach him the golden rule,
and he said he wouldn't learn it,
Detroit Free Press.
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
Hired by the Hour.

When Remenyi, the famous violinist,
was young man, he was engaged by
parvenu to play at dinner, the
agreement stating that he was to fur
nish music from o'clock to II. He
began with an andante movement from
Mozart, composition which opens
very low and soft.
The host turned to his guests, "That's
Just like those musicians" he said. 81
hired him by the hour, and see how
slow he plays."-Kansas City Inde-
pendent
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
Not BuII Run.

On an excursion given by Secretary
Langley to the members of the Ma
tional Academy Of Science down the
Potomac, Bernard Green, of the library
Of congress, told the best story of the
day. Mr.. Green happened to be cross
Ing the ocean some years ago on the
Fourth of July, which national holiday
was celebrated with great enthusiasm
by the Americans on board.
II say" asked one of the English
men, what is this the anniversary Of,
anyhow? Isn't it to celebrate the
battle Of Bull Run or something of that
kindT
mo" promptly spoke up an Amer
lean. "Not Bull Run--John Bull Rum"
New York Tribune. l
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
) is A MANS METHOD.
..is Way of Making q Carpet Bar
gain While His Wife Was Away.

,.is Way of Making q Carpet Bar
gain While His Wife Was Away.
81 want both my upper and lower
halls recarpeted." was the remark
Charles ]. Jones of East Walnut Hills
made to well known carpet man.
And I'm going to move out Of the
house until you finish the work! I'll
leave the choice and color to you'll
My wife is out of town, you see, and I
want to surprise her upon her return.
There is only one condition to this bar
ga,l-I must ask you, as we are old
friends. to give me small figure in the
carpet"
All right" said the carpet man.
And Charles Jones staid away from
home for two days, while the carpet
mans ,,irelings banged away with their
hammers, and he hugged himself as he
thought of the surprise that was in
store for his wife when she returned.
Last Thursday the carpet man called
Jones up by telephone and announced
that the carpet was laid.
Its a dark green!" said the carpe..
man.
I'm glad of thatY' answered Jones.
And as small figure as is consist
ent with the carpet! roared the carpet
man.
I'm gladder than everr' said Jones.
That evening he visited his home and
was satisfied that the carpet was a
peach. The next morning he met the
carpet man.
How much do owe you" inquired
Jones.
at is $685." said the carpet dealer.
"Whatp yelled Jones. where's
the small figure you and agreed onT'
"Why. on the border Of the carpetr'
said the amazed dealer. 'It's,a morning
glory vine with pink and white flowers!
You've got bargain at that figureW-
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
a SCOTCH CustOm.

In many parts of Scotland it used to
be the custom to place on a mans
tombstone the symbols of his trade.
Thus a sugar cane would decorate the
grave Of grocer; an ak and saw, with
hammer and nails, would be found on
that of carpenter, an awl and a ham,
mer on shoemakers grave, and so on
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
ProtectedInR Red

In Santiago In the better class of
houses the bedsteads are surrounded
with close kind Of netting, beginning
at the floor and gathered at the top
This is intended as protection against
tarantulas. the bites Of which are poi
sonOus.
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
Went All the wov.

1t is said that the reason why there
are no snakes in New Zealand is that It
is at the direct antipodes of Ireland,
md that when st. Patrick banished the
snakes from Ireland his blessing went
right through the earth and banished
the snakes from New Zealand also.
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
Dian,t work WeIl.

1--WE couldn't get along with two
office boys"
Not enough work?'
"'That wasn't it; each was afraid he'd
get here in the morning before the,
other."-Chicago Record.
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
Copyright. 1900, by c. B. Lewis. ]

of This Proposition.
copyright, 1900, by C. B. Lewis.l
My Dear Fellow Citizens-It is !my
custom before proceeding to the bust
ness of the evening to take up collec-
tion among the audience for the benefit
Of some charity. On this occasion the
subject is the individual who stands
before you. l have managed to get
along for the last three days on 81
cents, but | can go no further. While
there is no doubt that am worthy of
all you can do kYr me. yet no one need
feel under obligations to give. | will
now pass around the hat, and as 1
move among you l am glad to observe
that the audience assembled here to-
night is one of the most cultivated I
have seen for months. will not be
base enough to think that free admis-
sion had anything to do with it. You
came to hear one of the great ques-
tons of the day discussed by one of
the great orators of the century. and
had the price of tickets been 10 cents
each | believe that one and all would
have cheerfully co@ghed up. do not
use that exp:tssion in a slang sense,
but as Latin phrase | find that the
collection amounts to 20 cents, and,
thanking you from the bottom of my
heart and trusting that you may go
out of here better men and women,
will now begin: h
My friends, | have in my pocket the
figures showing just how many distil-
leries and breweries there are in the
United States and Just how much whis-
Ky and beer are made every "a hours
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
To Refrench

Home is the dearest place on earth," j"
remarked Bilkens to wilkins.
Yes" replied wilkins, that's why
we quit housekeeping and went to
Iboard'"-Columhus co. State Journal,
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
WIN, Indech.

Waitress RoastE@efmuttonroa
Dorkmashedorbrownpotatoesbeetspudd
hgorpie?
Customer-H HIM. Are not these things
still In separate dishes?
"Yessir."
"Then why do you announce them
as If they had already been made into
hash Y'-Indianapolls Press.
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26

The sorrow of yesterday is as moth
ing; that of today is bearable; but that
of tomorrow is gigantic, because in
Observation-Disclosures.
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26

The Chinese study phrenology, judg-
ing man by the development of his
forehead and woman by the form
and size Of the back of her cranium
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
Old Friends.

Snarley-Old friends are the best.
Yow-They are if they don't get rich
before you do,-Syracuse Herald,
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
SHORTHAND WRITING.
Accuracy IL of Much More Impor-
tance Than Speed.

Speed is by no means the most
necessary thing in shorthand writing"
explained an experienced stenogra-
pher, but with some teachers it is
made the great consideration. often
at the expense of everything else. The
big thing in shorthand is legibility,
for there are many who can write
fast enough hut who are unable to
tell what it means after it has grown
cold. ! have beer a stenographer, de-
pending entirely on it for my living,
for 25 years. During that time | have,
of course. picked un some knowledge
on the subject has, been the
stenographer for two cabinet officers,
four assistant secretaries and three
Or four senators. incidentally have
worked for year rs the private sec
retary of one of the big hank presi-
dents in New York city
"All of this rypcrieBcr has proven
one thing very conciusively and that
is that there is DO necessity for any
stenographer who does amanuensiS
work to write over 120 w0rfs min
ute and in 90 cases nut or 100 no ne
'cess,ty to write over lsi0 words a min
ute. Indeed. ! know of a, least 25
stenographers who are drawing the
largest kind of salaries as private sec
retarieS who have assured me that
they have never been required to aver
age as much as 80 words Under these
circumstances it seems strange that
some teachers of stenography will ex,.
cite pupils to write 100 to 200 words
per minute and endeavcr to make them
believe that such a railroad speed Is
necessity. Such practice does
actual injury. for it discourages many
from even learning a moderate speed.
"There have been instances where
it may have been necessary for stenog-
raphers to be able to write over 200
and more words minute. and there Is
legend hanging about the senate
chamber that General Hawley. for
10 or 12 minutes in speech. once
spoke 225 words a minute. The aver
age speed of senators in speeches does
not reach ITO words and in debating
letters rarely reaches 100 Words
Washington Star
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
BLIND. OH, so BLIND


Isn't it strange how people
Gaze with enraptured face
On the cunning work of the painter
Limning sweet natures grace,
And yet with eyes that see not
Nor souls that beauty find,
Live in the world the painter paintA
Blind, oh, so blind?
Isn't it strange how people
Thrill in the keenest way
To the stories of lie and its living
Told in book or in play,
And yet, with darkened vision,
To naught of their charm Inclined
Live in the world where the stories live,
Blind, oh, so blindY
Ripley d. Saunders i'll St. Louis Republic.
The Dogskin wouldn't Go Round.
Hungary swarms with barristers. It
is the greatest ambition Of the Hun
garian peasant to make one Of his sons
an advocate.
The son of small farmer in the
neighborhood Of Budapest was sent
by his father to the law school Of that
town, but, either from lack Of parts
or the necessary. application, he was
plucked in the qualifying examina-
ton.
Not daring to return to the paternal
abode empty handed after all the
money that had been spent on his. edu-
cation, he conceived and executed the
plan of forging legal diploma. The
father was not, however, SO ignorant
as not to be aware that such diplomas
are always written on parchment
kutya-ber (dogskin)-in Hungary.
"Why is your certificate not made out
on kutya-berT asked the old man.
"The fact is, father" cooily replied
the youth, there are more barristers
than dogs in Hungary, and SO there Is
not enough kutya-ber to make diplo-
mas for US all."-London Answers.
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
rhe Original seven wonders.

None of the original seven wonders
of the world remains. except the great
pyramid of Egypt The tomb of Mau-
solus. king of Caria. built about $50
B. c.. was destroyed before 400 A. D.
The third wonder. the temple of Diana
at Ephesus. was built 552 B. G. and
was destroyed 356 r. c. The fourth
wonder. the walls and terraces of
Babylon. were erected about $40 B.
c. They decayed gradually after Baby
Ion had ceased to be the capital of the
Assyrian empire. The Colossus of
Rhodes. erected in 2SS r. c.. stood GA
years. was destroyed by an earthquake
and lay in ruins for nearly 900 years,
until Jew bought it and took it on
900 camcls to Alexandria The statue
of Zeus ut Olympus was made 437-
433 B. G.. was removed to CONSTANT
nople and was destroyed by fire Ats
A. D. The Pharos at Alexandria was
built about 2S3 B. G. and was destroy
ed by an earthquake about 1300-1400
A. D.
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26

Philosophy is an extremely agreeable
companion to people in easy circum-
stances.-Brooklyn Life.
Amador ledger., 1900-10-26
DRINK COLD WATER.
QUIT eoozlNe AND KEEP SOBER AND
YOU WILL BECOME FAMOUS.

q. Hope Jones, the Famous Temper
ance Lecturer, Cites a Few His
toric Examples to Prove the Truth
of This Proposition.
Gilpin observer., 1900-03-29
Record of Tract Society.

Washington, March 26.-The meeting
of the American Tract Society was
HI d this afternoon. Rev. Judson
Swift, field secretary at New York,
presented report of the society's
work and Rev. Theodore L. Cuyler,
ID. D., of New York, delivered an elo-
quent address.
The secretary's report stated that the
society has issued at home and in the
foreign field 1890 distinct publica-
tions. 1t has printed in the Spanish
language, Christian literature to the
amount of 3,117, 400 pages. 1t has cir
culated also during the past year $500
copies of. the Spanish hymn book. the
demand for Spanish literature being
always in advance of the means to sup
ply. During the past two years over
S.OOO,OOO pages have been circulated
in the army and navy. The distribu-
tion of Christian literature In the
Mormon homes of Utah through the
ColpOrteur wagon and missionaries is
of great Importance.
Gilpin observer., 1900-03-29
TWO MEN LYNCHED,
A Virginia Town Disgraced by the Action
of n Mob

Richmond, Va, March 25.--The
series of exciting events in Greenville
county the past week eliminated to-
day in double lynching at Emporia.
Both Cotton, the negro who. according
to his confession, killed Sanders, and
O'Grady, the white man who was with
him in the cabin when the murder oc-
CURED. were hanged by mob. vari-
ously estimated at from 1.5OO to 1000
strong.
This morning the sheriff of the coun-
ty discharged from duty the military
that had been sent from this city at
his request, and Major Cutchings. in
command of the troops. notified Gov
ernOr Tyler, stating at the same time
that he thought if the prisoners were
left unprotected by the military they
would be lynched. The governor re-
piled as follows:
The responsibility is on the sheriff.
If he orders you to withdraw, you can
do nothing but obey. We have done
everything possible to uphold law and
prevent mob violence, and are still pre-
pared to render every aid necessary"
Accordingly to Major Cutchings en-
trained his men and started for Rich
mond. This was about II o'clock.
Aiois was 'he 'Iaih out VI sight WHen
mob entered the Jail, took Cotton.
hanged him to the limb of tree and
fired forty bullets into his body.
Later. despite the protests of cooler
heads, who claimed that the guilt of
the white man had not been estab-
lished. another crowd. composed large
ly of negroes, entered the Jail. over
came the resistance of the few that
tried to protect O'Grady, took him out
and hanged him also.
Gilpin observer., 1900-03-29
Carnegie's New Company.

Trenton, n. j., March 26.-The Car
negie company, the formation of
which has resulted from the confer
ence of Andrew Carnegie and ii. G.
Frick to settle the business differences
between them. was Incorporated here
to-day. The capital is 100000, 600,
and the stock is all subscribed
The principal subscribers and the
number of shares of each are: Andrew
Carnegie. S6,370; Henry Phipps, H.
226: III. G. Frick. 15.4S4: Charles NJ.
Schwab. 1899; Francis Il. +. Lovejoy,
Pittsburg. 1924.
The remaining stock Is subscribed
by thirty persons, most OF whom hold
less than 500 shares. The par val,ie
OF each share of capital stock is $1,000.
The state receives So, 600 for filing
the incorporation and the annual fran
chise tax will be Sl1.750.