The Republican., 1900-12-13
MAN is A MINUS QUANTITY.
Our Own solomon MOralizes Over the
Plight of Man During the Gladstone
Time of Giving and Receiving.


called Xmas that he should vaunt
himself; that he should say unto him
self: "Lo, am good many ?"
Verify, he is about three -for-a-cent,
and no sales.
Behold, if he has a wife, she sayeth
unto him: This is Xmas and tax
eth from him all the KS he hath.
That she may buy presents there
with.
She attireth herself in fine raiment
and goeth unto the market places,
where everything is sold for half the
price thereof, yet none loseth any
money.
She meeteth other women that
have husbands,and sayeth unto them:
Truly, John is a good husband.
Behold, has he not given me all his
wealth, that may buy gifts -
And the other women with one
voice say: Surely, my husband is
the same kind of man"
And they smile one upon the other
with smiles that hold more language
than the dictionary.
She goeth about from merchant
to merchant, saying to one: Il am
just looking today" and to another,
Send that up.''
And she buyeth gifts for her folks
and her friends, and her friends
folks.
Toys and doilies and pictures she
purchaseth,
Also slippers for the minister,
And bookmark for the minister's
wife.
She getteth statue of Apollo for
her aunt and a copy of "Quo Vadis''
for her uncle;
A pipe, that needeth a mustard
draft, she chooseth for her brother;
And a necktie that would put an
alarm clock out of commission she get
teth for her nephew.
For her husband she buyeth pow
der box and fur boa and a parlor
lamp and a cameo brooch and piano
cover,
Likewise motto, which readeth:
1T is Better to Give than to Receive
Whereupon he refecteth that un-
der the circumstances there are argu-
ments for the one side as well as for
the other.
Yet again, consider the man who
hath no wife-doth he not come to
the same end?
He spendeth all that he hath for a
gift for the maiden that he consider
eth his Sunday regular.
And he sendeth also the American
Beauty roses and the large box of
bonbons.
And the result is that he eateth the
bonbons which is called the baked
bean, and smoketh the Hackman's
Pride cigar for six months in his eff
fort to make himself even financially.
But his sweetheart forgetteth him
not nay, she doth not overlook him.
She sendeth him something that is
tied with blue ribbons and hath
shape like ten cents worth of hay.
And he knoweth not if it be a to-
bacco holder or glove box.
So he hangeth it upon the wall and
putteth matches in it.
And when he seeth the maiden she
asketh him how he liketh the pen
wiper she hath worked for him with
her own fair hand.
Yea, verify, man is not much.
Not with any exceeding muchness,
at any rate.
Peradventure he getteth next to
himself, and communeth with him
self, saying:
"Of truth l will hang up my hose,
ALSO my watch and my overcoat
and my jewelry,
For it is better to give than to re-
ceive, but it is more wearing on the
treasury department"
Surely, man is busted community
dIUeT CLFlbUludb, anu llc lS AOG OlUcll
upon the map at other times and sea-
sons.
Is it not so, even as it is typewrit-
ten?
Yea, truly, very much so. Yes, in
deed. JOSH WINK.
Orphans Court.
Present Judges Wilson, Merrill and
McRobie.
First and final account of w. Nc
Culloh Brown, administrator of VIM.
|. Brown, ratified.
Second accond account of Joseph
H. Smithman, guardian of Albert
Gibson ct al. atified.
q. G. Gibson appointed guardian of
Henry Gibson.
Adjourned to meet on Thursday,
the 27th day of December, 1900.
A Keen Clear Brain.
Your best feelings, your social posi-