Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1900-10-23


ley has" Yes. He used 10 be the
iron-jawed man in a circus. Wash
ington Star.
They're going to run the new hotel
on the European PLAN Heavens!
/ hope the plan doesn't include tipss'-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Ell want some sort of present
for young lady" Sweetheart or sis
teri" "Er--why- she hasn't said which
she will be yet. Pittsburg Dispatch.
Resort Hotelkeeper-Any guests in
this evenings train? Bus Driver--No-
body to speak Of. Only single trunk
woman and grip gent. Boston Tran
script
Snarlsy-Whats self-esteem? Vow
Its something we all hate TO see in
some one else. but which is virtue if
we possess it ourselves Syracuse
Herald.
What is an optimist?' asked the lad.
An optimist" answered Mr., Bryl1ins.
as he took dyspepsia tablet lis in
most cases a confounded preyaricator."
Washington STAR
Edith (coyly)- What is it the poet
says about young mans fancies" in
the spring? Backward Lover Why
-really-I--er-leav all that to me
tailor, We know!-Puck.
"You seem to be very much interest
ed in that couple in the middle or the
floor" YES; you look al them and see
If You can figure out which it is that
can't dance."-Chicago Record
Hicks-The easy writer's have deal
to say about 1.-THE dead of night" When
is that, i wonder? Wicks The dead OF
night, l suppose. is when everybody is
buried in Standardization Transcript.
Even the general that never wins a
battle can beat sometimes remarked
Beechwood. what are you driving
att" asked Homewood, "He can beat
retreat Pittsburg Chroncle-Tele-
graph.
What did Aunt Minerva say about
the shlrt-waist manY' "She said now
he had to keep his belt in the right
place all the time he'd find out he
wasn't any smarter than woman."-ln-
dianapolis Journal.
amelia, whena letter came from you
while you were away did not read 1t
for a day at least" 'What was that
for, EDGAR" Don't you see? | saved
one days interest on the money you
asked for" Chicago Record.
Language" quoted Willie Wishing
ton, was given for the concealment Of
thought" Indeed rejoined Miss
| Cayenne languidly. Permit me to con-
graduate you on being so perfect a
master of English. Washington Star.
did you have any words with your
mistress which caused you to leave
your last placer" "Niver a word.
+, Shure an Oh locked her in the bath
room and TUX me things and slipped
out as quiet as yez phase. '-Harper's
| Bazaar.
civilian, a poor man came along
and asked for a hat" What did you
dog' 81 gave him your Sunday hat"
What on earth did you do that forg'
'sWen. knew you would need your
old one to wear when you so fishing. -
Chicago Record.
pa asked little Willie, how long
| is a 'decadeT" "That depends, my
son. In the census department dec
ade means ten years, but to the women
who hand their ages in to the census
man it means anything from 0 to TO-
Philadelphia Press.
Mr. Henpeck-The doctor says / alb
solutely must go away next week for
rest. Mrs Henpeck- Goodness! / can't
possibly manage to get away to go
with you then. Mr.. Henpeck- Um-ml
l guess the doctor must have known
Philadelphia Press.
Mr.. Gump Ito teacher- No, | don't
want you to teach my son any gram
mar. Not bit of 1t. Teacher-But-
but-this is unsual, sir. May inquire
your reasons? Mr.. Gump-I intend
that he shall be a writer of popular
songs. Baltimore American.
A Good Scheme.-Tourist-D those
scarecrows save your crops? Farmer
They work first rate. You see, every
tramp that comes along crosses the
fields TO see If tn clothes Is wu'th steal
in, web they amt, an that scares the
crows away.-New York Weekly.
The Seaman Have you ever been on
a battleship when she clears for ac-
tion? The Landsman-No. well, IL
Is the most thrilling and impressive
moment you can conceive ION,
don't know. Have you ever seen golf
club champion get ready to driver
Life.
Blanche-Was Mrs. Gewgaw's gar
den party a "wipe-off affair? Lillian
| No: it seemed TO me more OF tag
end" party. Blanche-A "tag-end par
y? Lillan-Yes; lot of people who
were invited only because lot Of other
people wouldn't come. Indianapolis
| Journal.
Strategy. THAT fellow Bumbleton Is
a deep one" What has he been do
ingY" .Why, be got the new boarder
! into brisk controversy with the land
/ iady over the reasons for woman's men
| tai inferiority, and under cover OF 1t he
sneaked a second piece Of huckleberry
pie Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A Frenchwoman Of great personal
| charm was visiting New York family
and was being entertained at roof
garden. In an interlude by the orches-
ira she turned TO her host and asked
what the musicians were playing. I'D
Leave My Happy Home for You" an
swered the host Eyes. / know an
swered the lady. with glance OF
coquetry, "but re tune zat zey play.
M,sieu, vat ees eet?"-Exchange.