The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-11-28
LEAN WORLD WRITES
Lank and Scrawny Humanity
at Shuts Feet,
ALL CLAMOR FOR ALFALFA
Puzzle of Nebuchadnezzar
With the Cows Solved.
Ill CLAMOR FOR ALFALFA

at the feet Of DR.. Shuts. at least they
are in correspondence with him. Al
falfa and It's extract is the theme OF all
his oorrespondenc-from $50 to $50 let
ters per day. Men write and say their
wives are lean: women write and say
their husbands are lean Most Of them
are deceivers-they are lean themselves.
A great number Of his correspondents
ere doctors, many more are preachers.
Some girls write and eagerly inquire
about that which makes the joyous 70
tund form. In many letters the cramp-
ed hand of the ancient spinister is pala-
BILE She timidly and cautiously says,
she is shy in adepose tissue. Every
body writes but the babies in the cradle.
The doctor has another class Of cor
respondents-they are the promoters
They see millions in his discovery and
want it capitalized. They say they have
the brains, that the doctor has the medi-
cine and are willing TO find the fellow
who has the money. The doctor has
but one answer to all Of them-Wichi-
Ia must be the manufacturing and dis
tributng point. Il am not in this for
money" the doctor says, "and if there
are millions in it, 1 want my home town
town ana my neighbors to get the bene-
tit While L am making the world fat,
propose to make Wichita fat, too"
one thing can be clearly stated and that
is that the doctor wiz insist on the ex-
tract being q Wichita medicine.
~, ~
doctor, newspaper people. Special
scientific experts on all the big papers
have been writing to him. Many of
tHem are enthusiastfcs One says:
Reduce your medicine TO a solid ex-
tract That IS just what he is about
to do. Bottles of fluid cannot go through
the mails and pills can. Now all his
shipments are being made by express.
1t was Dr. Shuts idea not to make
any profit out Of his medicine and it is
his idea yet, but local promoters are
after him and it is possible that the
medicine may be made on large scale
From Plattsmouth, Neb., a letter came
yesterday with $500 1t said: If it
fattens me III multiply it by ten"
a citizen of Havana, H., wrote: my
normal weight is 173, but 1 am now down
to 149 If you can get me back viii
give you $500" The next train carried
three bottles OF medicine to the man
and Dr. Shuts is absolutely sure of the
500, as the patient is banker eff
the man is healthy" said the doctor,
Il viii have him back to his normal
weight inside of forty days"
His mail yesterday contained letters
from bankers at Havana, H.. Chicago,
ILL.,. Brooklyn, Iowa, and Cameron, Mo,
from preachers at Chicago, st. Paul, No
line Clinton, Missouri Valley, Iowa,
Prescott, Arizona. Sedalia, Mo-, and
Iowa; from doctors at Hill
eap0lis ILL.,, Hiawatha, Kansas, Racine,
Wis, Cedar Rapids Iowa, Joliet, H.,
Lafayette Ind, St James, Minnesota,
and Fort Atkinson. Wis; from women
Of Freeport, Decature, Rock Island and
Moline, Ill. Bolton, Mo, Grand Rapids,
Michigan, and Morse Kansas.
Nearly every lean man in town is TAX
ing the extract and if its fat making
potency is not exaggerated Finlay Ross
win have to insist on wider sidewalks.
1T is possible that Farmer Doolittle viii
have to step off the present sidewalks
some day to allow Professor SIckner
to pass by.
The revolution that Is possible with the
new discovery may become a positive
menace to society as it is at present
The street car doors may
have TO he widened; buggies may have
to be remOdeIed with more spacious
seats; bigger churches may have to b
built; steel beds VIII have to be intro
duced; bath tubs may have to be en-
larged: t3ilors tape lines may have 60
be Enlightened out; all the small sized
collars may have to be retired; opera
seats may he rendered absolutely useless,
underwriters may have to set new hears
es and new collins of double the present
size. 1t may possibly play havoc with
dealers i'm socks gloves, c0rsetss neckties,
garters, belts and underwear. 1t may
possibly work a radical change on all
established customs Men may be put
ting On their collars a-la-Croyer Cleve-
lau8 women viii nave to adopt some
new scheme Of pretending to love their
husbands than kissing them; the abom-
Unable handshake VIII Zoe entirely done
away with: women viii have to have
short line telephone if they want to
whisper; some smart fellow viii make
fortune by inveutng laceless shoes; self
put-ona5Ie hosiery VIII become a neees-
sity and all persons must have spectaeles
with soma sort of mirror attachment to
see where they are walking.
If the alfalfa extract habit continues.
as it has started in Wichita, it is hard
to ten where it win end. Even the So
,fafs-t- -,r.-.- 1,fr- fsrr- r.o.--