Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-09-12
4uraurons department.
THEY CAME TO LAUGH.

Mark Twain is a good talker anC
invariably prepares himself, though he
skillfully hides his preparation by his
method Of delivery, which denotes
that he is getting his ideas and phrases
as he proceeds. ."-Will M. Clemmens
in Ainslee's. "He is an accomplished
artist in his way. His peculiar mode Of
expression always seems contagious
with an audience, and laugh would
follow the most sober remark. It is g
singular fact that an audience viii
be in laughing mood when they
first enter the lecture room; they are
ready to burst out at anything anG
everything.
I'm the town Of Colchester, Conn.
there was good Illustration of this
the Hon. Demsham Hornet having a
most unpleasant experience at the ex-
pense Of Mark Twain. Mr.. Clemens
was advertised to lecture in the town
Of Colchester; but for some reason fail
ed to arrive. In the emergency the
lecture committee decided to employ
Mr.. Hornet to deliver his celebrated
lecture on temperance; but so late In
the day was this arrangement made
that no bills announcing it could be
circulated, ard the audience assembled,
expecting to hear Mr.. Twain. No
one in the town knew Mr.. Clemmens or
had ever heard his lecture, and they
entertained the idea that he was funny
and went to the lecture prepared to
laugh. Even those seated upon the
lecture platform, excepting the chair
man, did not know Mr.. Hornet
from Mark Twain, and so when
he was introduced, thought nothing of
the name, as they knew Mark Twain
was a pen name and supposed his
real name was Hornet.
"Mr. Hornet bowed politely, looked
about him and remarked, 'Intemper-
ance Is the curse Of the country. The
audience burst into a merry laugh. He
knew it could not be his remark, and
thought his clothes must be awry, and
he asked the chairman, in whisper,
If he was all right, and received yes
for an answer.
Then he said, Rum slays more than
followed. He could not understand it,
but proceeded, 1t breaks up happy
homesI Still louder mirth. 1t is
carrying young men down to death
and to hell!' Then came perfect roar
Of applause.
"Mr. Hornet began to get excited.
He thought they were poking fun at
I, "a h
the serpent!' A tremendous howl Of
laughter. The men on the platform,
except the chairman, squirmed as
they laughed. Then Hornet got mad.
What say Is gospel truth he cried.
The audience fairly beloved with
mirth.
Hornet turned to the man on the
stage and said, DO you see anything
very ridiculous in my behavior? Yes.
Ha. ha! It's intensely funny! Ha, ha,
ha! Go on! replied the roaring man.
This is an INSULT cried Hornet wild
ly dancing about. More laughter
and cries of Go on, Twain'
"Then the chairman began to see
through a glass darkly and arose and
quelled the merriment and explained
the situation, and the men on the
stage suddenly ceased laughing, and
the folks in the audience looked
sheepish, and they quit laughing, too,
and then the excited Mr.. Hornet, be-
ing thoroughly mad, told them he had
never before got into Town so en-
tirely populated with asses and i'd
lots and, having said that, he left
the hall in disgust, followed by the au-
dience in deep gloom"