The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-05-02
TRAVELLERS HOTEL,
JACKSONVILLE, FLA.

incidents and anecdotes of his experience
in a note book. The bulk of the anec-
dotee relate to persons connected with the
Church, whether bishops, Wears, curates
or humble vergers, but they are none the
less amusing on that account Many of
them center round Wilmington, the
Shropshire parish of which the Bishop
was rector from 1851 to 1879 and of his
parlshioners he has several quaint stories.
For instance:
1.-THE following words are given YER
batirn as spoken by an old woman in the
parish on the occasion of my first visit
soon after 1 became rector: "ine old man
and me never go to bed sir. without sing
ing the evening hymn. Not tlat I've got
any voice left, for haven't; and as for
him, he's like bee in bottle; and then
he don't humor the tune, for he don't
rightly know one tune from another, so
when he leaves out a word puts 1t in,
and when 1 can't sing l Dances and so
we get through 1t somehow"
Here is another good, story:
"A woman in q small Welsh farm house
-Whittington is on the border of Wales
being taken very i'll, a neighbor went for
the clergyman, who said he would come
directly. The neighbor, going back to the
farm house, said they had better get out
Bible, as the parson might ask for one.
The farmer thereupon told the woman
she would find one, he thought, at the
bottom of an old chest, for thank good
ness he added, we have had no occasion
for them sort of books for many a long
year-never since the old COW was so
bad"
But his curates and clerical friends are
responsible for even more droll stories
than the laity provided during his rector
ship, one of which deserves quoting:
THE first time that Archdeacon Wick
ham visited this deanery as Archdeacon I
.lfrNr h f~a fhea
cumbent insisted upon his inspecting ev-
erything. II the garden is a little pool,
and over this pond we beheld a strange
erection of posts and planks. with a sort
of saddlelilSe seat on the top. On the
Arehdeaoon asking the incumbent what il
was, he explained with great delight that
II was a capital continuance by which you
could take exercise and make yourselw
useful by pumping water to the church,
where he had just been building a tram
spet. So, saying that he would show us,
he clambered up, sat down on a saddle
smiling and began to work the treades
eagerly. Unfortunately. however the
work at the church having been just fin
ished. the pipe which had conveyed the
water to the workmen had been cut off
just above the surface of the water The
consequence was that he Immediately
produced Jet of water which shot straight
upward and almost lifted him off his seat.
entirely upsettiug the archidiaconal grav-
ity. AS We returned to the house the in
cumbent begged the Arcbdeacon to go in
to the back yard and smell the pump,
which he said stunk horribly. The Arch
deacon protested that he had no authority
over pumps but he would take no denial.
and when he got into the back yard said:
Now, Mr.. Archdeacon, If you will put
your nose 10 the spout Will pump The
Archdeacon was, however. quite equal TO
the occasion, and said: No, L depute the
~. IL.
and / will receive his report. and If need
ed, pronounce an ecclesiastical censure.' "
A Yorkshire clergyman, we are told,
had to pay dearly for his good nature in
taking an incumbents place at short no
tice and preaching a borrowed sermon:
"A shy, nervous clergyman near Brad
ford was about to help friend by read
ing the prayers when a message came to
say that a neighboring incumbent was
taken i'll and to ask for help. The rector
could not GO, so the friend had to be sent,
but having no sermon with him, he bor-
rowed one from the rector, who wrote
a clear good hard He selected one well
written. of which the subject was The
Value of Time and meant to read 1t over
on the way, but eventually did not like
TO do so, as he sat beside servant who
drove him over. So II happened that he
had to read It for the first time in the
pulpit. He got on very well till he came
pcss assed no church clock II Vas his in
teation to present one. He was too nerv-
Gus to omit the sentence, and l was as
sured at Bradford did actually present
the promised clock, which cost f70"
Here are other Yorkshire stories in
which the comic is mixed with the pa
thetic:
"A Yorkshire clergyman the other day,
visiting a poor man who had just lost his
little boy. endeavored 10 console him. The
poor man burst into tears, and In the
midst of his sobs exclaimed If 'twarna
ag'in flaw A should ha' liked to have
tlhtle beggar stoofed.
"A clergyman visiting a dying man OBJ
served him putting his hand out of the
bcd and eating something from time to
time, so he said he was glad to see he
could eat a little, when the man. with a
funny look said. They're my funeral bis
cults. The missis went 10 The town and
bought them. and she's out to-day, and
I'm eating them
Not many people are aware that the
Prince Of Wales IS a member OF the le-
gal profession, having been chosen