The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-08-24
BEFORE HIS SPEECH.
Preparing for lnpromtu After Din
ncr iicnarl1s Mas !, Iryin. Ordeal

lkC1DatIS " ~ XIV. oI1ASaa'
Gle takes his place at the table ana
steals glance at the toast Ist.)
Third from the last speaker, and
recourse dinner 10 be lived through hrst.
Great Caesar! Well-maybe III die before
we get to it, Hope SO, I'm sure.
Elegant oysters, but no taste TO en-.
Perhaps it's my tongue; it teets sort OIL
blurred.
Soup looks all right, but l don't seem
to notice it as it gees down
Ladies and Gentlemen'-no, mol mean
Mr.. Toastmaster and Gentlemen. "oh-
der if | look pale Feel pale, I'm sure.
Glad 1 got a Iishbone in my throat just
then. 1t changed the current OF my
thoughts for tune and eased UP some ol
the pressure on my brain. beSldeS, IL
headed off the man on my left from ASH
ing me questions which | haven't unno
enough TO spare 10 answer. lhefe d IL
tie story which comes 70 my mind as
rise TO address YOU BY the Lord Harry.
how did that story begin! suppose II
shouldn't come to my mind!
us this game? Shouldn't know It from
chicken feed, Am eating like ciViiiZed
being or am [ ramming it down the way L
used 20 do when l knew tarasAinS was
faitfue for me after dinner? WISH that
idiot across the table wouldn look az the
narting OF my hair so often. Wonder II L
got it crooked after all!
.,rsed the wrong fork for my oysters,
II becomes evident. Got to Use oyster
fork now for the roast. Glad my wife
isn't here; glad I've got one thing left to
ia glad for There can De no question
thar the issues which are involved in TINS
matter of That's not right. There can
be no issue involved in this question Whch
is not BY jove, but this room is in
fernaIly hot. There can be no question
involved in this issue %. winch way does
this confounded thing go2
while | eat this salad I'm going to
think this thing out calmly 1 Certainly
know this speech by heart; I've gone 10
bed and got up with it too long TO forget
il now. there's no use III my getting
ratified There can be no question that
This n stter involves issues Confound
it, why can't that man let me alone? he
NAV have nothing to do b..t EFT his dinner
and ask fool questions of msn who have
something on their minds.
..Py- iCve. were getting pretty we'll
through. NY mouth is as dry as saw
dust, nothing seems to Eloister it u2-
Never knew I had palptation OF th'
heart-but I got it now. sure. I'll see the
doctor in the morning If I'm alive-wh;ca
I doubt.
..C;uess I wont's smoke; don't think I
could hold my hand steady to light up
TN have to take out more insurance if
I'VE cot heart disease-if I can get any
company to take that risk
..Greut heavens! we've got to the
toasts. First man looks as calm as mud.
Wish I could Just look that way, whether
/ said much of anything or not. But
don't I look all coiors-bIue, just now,
I think
Second man up! Three more before me.
Wish I could go home. Afraid I forgot
to applaud No. /. Must remember this
time.
Two more! If my knees shnke like
this can't stand on my legs. that's all
l see my finish: shall fall over and be
carried out, and that'il be the hest thing
that could happen-so long as nobody gets
on to IT, One more! George Thompson.
when that man sits down you've got TO get
up. 0, why can't go home? I've had
enough of this. believe fifth run
away-NCW
He's getting through. The questions
involved in this issue The issues In
volved in this question-Ladiesl and-Mr.
Toastmaster and Gentlemen. AS rise
TO address, you-as I rise to address you.
little story comes to my mind'-Mv
fnind' It's 9 perfect black-absolpte. Hes
sitting down. O p't,i, were being
canged-I do. I do Mr. Toasmaster and
Ladies'-or being shot for deserte-. or
being wrecked on a barren island. Now.
It's COME! He's calling on Me! They're
looking at me! know my necktie's un-
der one earl know it-but I can't help
IT NOW: IT'S too late-eyerytnlnS' too late.