The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-03-11
be QEldrm Corner
). For Men Only

The citizens of this city have been feel
ing a little relief concerning police mat
ters until the other day when they learn
ed that the new chief OF detectives in
formed the men under him that he did
not know any more than they. Why
did he tell? No one would have guessed
it was as bad as that
Why not put the Chamber of Commerce
UP in the top of the court house and the
city prisoners over IN the Chamber of
Commerce. Hot air raises any way. and
IL the prisoners were on third street they
would be secluded and have pleasant
view of the river
The man who gets the largest number
of votes in the next election will be
mayor, the second largest number will
get the position Of garbage collector, the
third will be street Inspector, the fourth
will have trip to Paris, paid one way,
the fifth will get bicycle and the sixth
a round trip to Saltwater; so there are
prizes for all, and everybody should run.
Haven't you friend who is not work.
Ing that you would like to send to Paris?
Some one wrote to the Monday man,
who knows everything and tells it in q
morning paper. and propounded a query
like this: IF a party. marries a widow
with one son and the latter takes his
name, ETC.. The query man answered
1T, but still the wonder grows how he
could do so unless he knew how many
there were in the party.
A French doctor thinks he can make
a serum that will prolong human life
for $50 years. Younger members Of the
Republican party are trying to keep old
ofi1ceholders from any experiments with
it.
Orders have been given for all city
employees but the police TO be vaccinated
There is no fear of their catching any
thing.
Paris Is about to adopt telephone
invention which does away with the CEN
trail office and the feminine person COM
monty known as central" How will
she like it when she seeks another job
to be met everywhere with: They're
busy now! They don't answerr"
The men in Brunswick county, Vir-
sfnia have troubles of their own. When
a bill was introduced there recently
to establish whipping post for Wife
heaters, weary looking man arose and
made few remarks. He said 1t was
SANDER on the men of that county to
agitate that question, as 1t was we'll
known In his section that one of the
most highly priced privileges of the wom-
en- of Brunswick county was to beat
their husbands, and they did it every
time the aforementioned husbands got a
Ia Trrrax A 1.,o
was evidently Offering expert testimony
he was listened to with attention and
the bill was not passed. Civilization has
been making rapid strides in the South
Of late years, but this Is case of prog
ress that makes our hair stand up.
There is something comfortable and
old fashioned-like father used to do
when man beats his wife but when
mother takes the initiative all our child
hoods dreams are reversed. and we feel
like returning to the farm.
Judge-What is the prisoner charged
with.
Attorney-With stealing red hot stove
from an election booth, your honor.
Judge-Before it cooled off?
Attorney-Yes. your honor.
Judge-Has the prisoner ever been in
society or had any money?
Attorney-Both, your honor.
Judge-Well, as there are no witnesses
and the stove can be proved to have been
only a drum, he cannot legally be held.
Case is dismissed.
During the week that Mr.. Sheldon is
running the Topeka Capital an editor
in Atchison declares he will run his pa
per as the devil would run It, This
will involve, according to Mr.. Sheldon.
little change and no trouble.
The automobile girl sauntered chirpily
down the street leading a dog by
chain and humming an aria from a rag
time opera. AS she passed Harold Bar
gain Counter she raised her derby hat
to him.
Across the square in the capitol build
ing an imprisoned orator was beseech-
ing congress to pass a certain measure
which he said was designed for the pro-
lection of the gentler sex, for the COM
fort and well being of our wives, our
mothers our sweethearts, for the greater
safety Of woman, gentle, timid, thinking
woman
There was political wedding In Ph1ia-
delphia the other day, when the daugh>
ter of the mayor was married. Every
man In the Quaker City who had, or
was supposed to have, political aspira-
tfons was hidden. and among the returns
were the following:
SO clocks.
202- salt and pepper boxes.
13 diamond brooches.
II pie knives.
IL writing desks.
Is sets of china.
pianos.
$40 spoons.
II mirrors.
And several districts still to hear from.
Reggie.