The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-10-14
FAME VS.. MARRIAGE.
The Stase-Struck Maiden Makes a
Poor Wife.

Poor wife.
Here is a letter received lately by Ell
la Wheeler Wilcox:
will you kindly tell me whether or no
a young girl should give up the pros
poets of brilliant future to become
wife?
Il know of a young lady who, though
she will have 10 work hard for several
years to come, will finally be n singer.
She has met with man who cares for
her, and the feeling is reciprocated. He
is well able to support her and is old
enough to know his own mind. She hcsi-
tates to give up her freedom and. more
than that. her ambition Extract from
letter signed An Interested Friend"
And here is how the poetess answered
her in the New York Journal: The
woman who hesitates should not marry.
Ii she is thinking already what a sacri
flee she must make in giving up her Ca
reer, how much stronger will be her re-
greet as time wears on and romance be-
comes reality!
She will make poor wife. For the
mans sake, rather than for her own, 1
would urge her to give up any idea of mar
riage.
One of the most pathetic objects on
earth TO me is good, home-lovins hus-
band with stage-struck wife.
OF course, the life of a great singer Is
a brilliant one while it lasts. 1t requires
more than a fine voice. however, TO bring
success in this profession.
1t requires temperament, feeling. mag
netism, and constant self-control and self
denial The prima donna must deny her.
self at every turn of the hourglass. She
must avoid the temptations Of the table.
She must keep regular hours. She must
eXpend fortune upon the cultivation OF
her voice. before it will bring her compe-
tence. She must work increasingly to keep
her voice after she has developed it.
We have few great singers-not because
few people have great voices, but because
few have the character and self-denial nee.
essary to reach the goal. No other talent
is so arbitrary in its demands A great
| voice demands the whole life before it will
yield the whole worlds applause.
Few men could be happy as the husband
of a great singer, for her voice. not her
husband, would of necessity be her first
consideration.
This young woman needs to be very sure
that she has all the qualities for a bril-
liant future as a singer before she gives
up her lover. But of course she is. AL
! most every woman believes she has the
possibilities of great actress in her. 1
think have heard thousand women III
private life say that they missed their call
ing by not going on the stage.
1t is very foolish lover who will over
persuade a stage-struck girl-one who has
! made any advance toward a career-to give
up her ambitions and marry him. Better
| let her become Gisillusioned with herself
| and the career first or else achieve the suc-
cess she longs for.
If she does neither and becomes his wife
she is rarely happy. Always there rankles
| the thought in her mind that she could
| have been a great actress. The hard
| ships, the work, the waiting, the many
sacrifices. and small rewards, compare
lively speaking. of the most successful
| actress life she rarely stops to con-
slider. The might have been is bright,
Elusive dream, always before her vision
and through which her husband and chill
dren are shapes seen dimly.
No woman has right to marry unless
she is willing to give the fullness of her
heart and love and devotion to the pro-
fession of wife and mother. II she loves
some other vocation better than she loves
the domestic role she had better leave the
latter to some woman who is fitted for it.
1t is easier for man to get over the
| grief of losing a sweetheart than to en-
dure the martyrdom Of living with wife
who is always longing for theatrical ca
| reer.
Every day our divorce courts are called
upon to annul such marriages.
| The wise man will think twice before he
asks girl with the career bee in her
bonnet to become his wife.
| The wise woman will know that she can
not be a good wife to home loving man
and travel with company in any kind of
profession. If she longs for the footlights
| let her resign the hearthfire for the mans
sake.