New-York tribune., 1900-12-11
THE PASSING THRONG.

L A. Swanson. of Chicago. ex-Aruy ofrcer. IN
speaking yesterday at the Grand Hotel Of some
amusing incidents that had come
ARMY JOKES under his notice IN his army career.
WITH said; During the Civil War for
MORAL some reason they anxious
to move troops up the Tombisbee
River. Word was sent TO the engineer in that dis
trict asking what il would TO run up the Tom
higbee. That Official got gay and reported that the
5om4gSee aa ran dSEn S ana not up joke that
"At the bom6ardment OF Charleston II was ex-
a S Go ead RSdnf 70 s 9san mem en- the ths & Swamp nP
Angel; The gun sock It's name from the swamp
bogsy morass was an engineering feat o. extreme
determined to rave the gun 5ronshfs within range
Of Charleston and issued orders to that effect At
ing the matter IN chsTse Of TeqGisiion without re-
gare % tr99pie or expense tor snysning necessary
sition called for men Is feet inches in height
from which it can readily Be deduced that ii is not
a paying investment 10 make jokes in the army
at the expense OF your superiors."
F. A Rawlins Of Philadelphia. in speaking yes
terday at the Fifth Avenue Hotel OF the Society
for the Prevention Of Cruelty TO
RESCUE OF A Animals. said: The society has
STRANGLING done wonders and has accom-
CALF. plshed much in ameliorating the
hardships Of domestic beasts OF
burden and other animals. The most enthusiastic
and conscientious workers are the women but their
enthusiasm in the cause Of the dumb beasts leads
occasionally 10 funny contretemps such one
has since been family legend, Ny aunt then a
young girl had driven down to the old-fashioned
time the farmers were accustomed to bring their
rSssL Sroeh h IA Iqr sale 2ne VINE =, a%as & PT @
rounding vacant lot that lay across the street
Rd gss %hsrs it drsw S u up Sa act active yoang S IN
Cling he IN s bSSer 9GTs 15d IN seS manner m S he
was slowly stranglng TO death My aunt's eye
was touched. Some small boys were standing near
and she aDpealed TO them 70 release the calf but
b2g 20 IeISrIeTe M9ere appeals 70 gene6osy failed
ise Of receixing 80 cents essSyed to release the
gasPln9s ehoking calf But the knot was hard and
the release consequently long In coming
The boy worked hard but the knot remained
oodurate," continued Mr. RawIiEs. and mean
while the struggles OF the calf
BROKE Up grew feeblCr and feebler. Finally
BICYCLE my relative could stand it no
PARADE longer. Have you a knife?'' she
demanded The boy produced one
and swift stroke detached the halter from the
fence and a twist or two cleared the head OF the
calf Both my aunt and the boy had hold OF the
halter as they watched the calf get his breath
6 as hs The hey howeys5 had seen calves h before
isfI @ S laS one Tse9Hsred nG Ioosenea MS hoid and
a klndlins eye, ne stepped back and awaited de-
as his calfship could draw long breath he Ieaped
70 his feet and endeavored TO pull free from the
OBTAINING grasp My aunt wanted 70 let CO. but as
she didn't own the calf she felt she must detain
hlm The calf twisted his head again, and discov-
cred that he was the stronger part OF the COM
htnation- That settled IL. and he started OF TO
view the sights. my aunt accompanying him as
chaperou The calf gathered speed as he pro-
eeeded, and my aunt, TOO frightened BY this time
70 let go. did the same. Around the corner into a
broad avenue swept the pair. Down the avenue al
this time was coming bicycle parade The riders
were mounted on the old fashioned high. tip-over
easy variety Of wneels, and were riding close to-
gether The flying combination struck fair In the
centre OF the front rank and penetrated as far as
the fourth before falling men and wheels brought
them TO a pause. The ruin awful; the Ian
guage was worse Those coming up behind fell
over those that my and the calf had dis
mounted in front and the tangled heap OF steel and
men and the bad language grew each moment
greater Just then friendly voice broke IN on nv
aunt's ear. Fob Gawd Miss Alice, come get in dc
carridge and let uncle dribe you honefS There
was her carriage at the curb with the agonized
negro driver signalling her. For my aunt for
got that she :. p G. A. and reckIesSFv
a6ando1ing the calf to its fate. she made her es-
cape. II was perhaps. as WELL for what the
sue the club for heavy damages'