Little Falls herald., 1900-11-16

What's the good of those things, anyhow!
What are you going to do with EN-? Fold
'em away in clean Turkish towel, that
might be employed to better purpose and
stow EN- alongside of the thousands and
tens of thousands Of dollars worth Of utter
" useless and tawdry gear Of a similar sort
that you've been throwing away good, hard
earned money on during the past Is years ?
i tell you one thing, Mrs. Jobson, and that
is Es zs5 + + .s% # s4 & T @ O..
"But there's really no use in storming
90 over the three dollars that I paid for
these two table covers" interrupted Mrs.
Jobson, especially when everybody knows
that they're worth .s@ s
There's all the use in the world in my
using whatever means I see fit to check this
\ shameful extravagance on your part, Mrs.
J NJobson," shouted Mr.. Jobson, rising from
his chair and trying to tower majestically
over her. This bargain business has got to
be mania with you. If it goes on it'll land
me in the poor house or the soldiers home,
and TIM not ready for either such finish,
with your kind permission, madam. What
do you think I am, anyhow? A Standard
Oil king? A steel and wire magnate? A
sugar mogul? "A bookmaker? Dye think =
'"'Well," put in Mrs. Jobson, Il paid the
three dollars for these things out of the $50.
check that Uncle Simeon sent me for my
birthday, and s~.s@>>. - u r.,
90, you did, did your demanded Mr..
Jobson, earcasticaay. sThat's mighty
long-enduring $50 that your Uncle Simeon
sent you, isn't it. As nearly as I can figure
it out, you have paid for just about $24567
worth Of bargains that, all told, are not
worth two dollars, out Of that $50-check
your Uncle Simeon sent you more than two
months ago, and I don't suppose that more
than half the returns are in yet. If you
have been. able to buy the whole town up
out Of that check, what's become of all the
money I've been giving you? What y
ST You know very well, !" Interrupted Mrs.
Jobson, that for. the past couple Of months
you have given me very little money for my
own use, as you said you wanted to econo-
mize in order to saveup for a good summer
vacation, and .:sz .;.: s @>
Il $50 you're calling me etiugy, now, too,
are your demanded: Mr.. Jobson. You're
standing right up before my face and telling
me, in precise words, that I'm a miser and a
skinf1int, and that you never have enough
money in your purse to pay car fare You're
telling me in exact terms that = .st.. Is
-s.9' I haven't said any thing Of the sort, or
anything like it. said Mrs. Jobson, with
some spirit. IF you are going to make such
an awful fuss over two table covers that only
cost three dollars, why can take them back
and have my money Refunded
+ You'll do nothing Of the sort, ,. exclaimed
Mr.. Jobson. When you make an .idiotic
bargain, just have The nerve to stand by it,
that's all. Don't weaken. Don t. craw-
fish. Don't hedge. Don't back-water. I
know that it's natural for women to do
those things, but just try to rise superior
to some Of. the infrmities of your weird sex,
anyhow, l., / III ssE
This, as stated above, happened about six
months ago. .g <
!. On Thursday evening last Mr., Il Jobson
brsnght a bundle home with him from his
oAice. He opened the bundle before Mrs.
Jobson with a good dealof flourish:
It's not often that. L do any shopping
for this family z said Mr.. Jobson, good.
ma turediy and banteringly, but when an
opportunity ike tie one had to-day comes
along, why, give it hug, as the boy
says" ,% sS%. !.
Why, says Mrs. Jobson, They're table
covers just like those" !" # S. q.
..Ha! right the very time," interrupted
Mr.. OLSON, abestowing glances. of approval
upon his purchases. That's just what they
3are-table covers. But they're not ordinary
table covers. 81 s..s<
G They're just about as fine an article in
the way Of table covers as can be had for
money on this side Of the world and it posi-
lively makes me laugh right out loud to
think Of the paltry sum Of money paid for
them. There was a sWarth hy,. orien tai look
ing chap drifted into my office to-day with
these things. II e was from Turkestan, he
told me in broken English, and these two.
table covers had been wrought by one of The
most famous artists IN that line in his coun-s
try He had had about 40 Of them, all Of
which he had succeeded in smuggling in,
when he Struck this country he said and
he had disposed Of all but these tWosin New
9 ork and Philadelphia, at figures running
into the hundreds most Of the pure haserss
having been millionaires. He was anxious
to dispose Of these last remaining two, how
ever, and he asked me $$75s for the pair Of
them IsaW hat could probably get hem
at a much srnal llers6 gure-a and you may read
ily imagine, by looking at them, hat s I
wanted e EN- pretty badl ly-zand began to-
haggle witt him. Tow, what d We suppose
4 finally got him let me ave the Of
EN- Tor .ssSss
~ haven't the least ID "a, ep1ied Mrs,
.Jobson,
Ihirty seven d1o1la r! Z, IS almost shouted
Mr. OLSON got EN- for 81 miserab be,
spuny little II hen
least
sss ebson sud q en- found that he as
alone. MI rs. j Jobson W IS q lis side "a mo-,
ment later, how al a. si1 IS had sin her
hand the exact e Of obson's s337
covers, for she had paid three d oilars
Mr. Josbon, looked hem Just and
then hs s.. 5renlem bered % grew
Iyon paid three ory,, duired,1
tieally Now / know
Bill That oll said lost six|
mont nths agQ went ~ ashing ton