The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-09-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUM0R OF THE DAY.
"say. did you hear about that acct
mo. What was it?"
A policeman got hurt by the acci-
dental discharge of his duties. ''-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
This August weather brings dismay
And apprehension deep
Too warm to stay awake by days:
At night too hot to sleep
Washington Star.
do you like pink teas?" asked the
Brooklyn girl.
IT never tasted them,'' replied her Wis
1tor from Cook county, but I just dote
on pink lemonades. Brooklyn Life.
See here!" exclaimed the disguised
guest, this meats simply awful.
Where's the proprietor of this joint?''
He's gone out to lunch, SIR replied
the Observation-Disclosures Press.
woman" said the lecturer at the in
formal meeting, lin the east is only do
mesticated ANIMAL
WELL said the foolish man that want
Let sd o o9 b maRe o9mpmenf she lacks
The ladies present in large numbers
glared at him amazedly.-Indianapoli
Where did you Sunday old man?''
Il didn't Sunday; I Sabbathed."
Went to church morning and even
ing. "-Detroit Journal
When the shirt waist man is tidy he's
refreshing, like as not;
When the shirt waist man is rumpled he
makes everybody hot
indianapolis Journal
"A woman who will not forgive a man
for forgetting her will almost love him
for striving to forget her, for she knows
that in this is the essence of remem-
brance.-Life.
No man proposes to remain single.
When he proposes he expects to get
Observation-Disclosures Record.
Did Mary have a pleasant week in
''oh, yes But 1T was a little exciting
How was that? Was she bunkoed?''
oh dear, no. But a squad of Eighth
avenue policeman chased her seven
blocks and only dubbed her over the
head once-and then her hair saved
her.''-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
1.-THE compliments thar" said the
chairman of the new committee of
SAFETY, SAY that they come to your
shack with a sheet on a pole what they
was. usin' fer a flag Of truce an you
fired on EN-
I'VE did," admitted the defendant.
dianapolis Press
Teacher-How much is twice four?
Tommy (the huckster's son)-M-m;
Teacher-well, try it this way. How
much are four peaches and four
peaches?
Tommy-Oh! that's about a half peck
Pa said little Willie, chow long is
a decade ?''
THAT depends, my son. In the census
department a decade means ten years,
but to the women who hand their ages
in to the census man it means anything
from to 0.''-Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Henpeck-So your husband tells
you fairy tales when he comes in late
of nights?
say not. He's too smart to waste his
time on fairy tales He tells me Chi
reese stories because they're half true.
Syracuse Herald.
She-T think your friend Hickey is so
very entertaining; he is always making
such dry remarks.
EicIey's Rival-Yes; one can't come
anywhere near him but it's Let go take
hing.''-Richmond Dispatch.
Browne-We were talking of contrib
uting to the campaign fund, and Phoxy
OecldTeO ne SidOly put MS uanQ IN MS
pocket.
Towne-Yes, as a measure of precau-
tion, so none of the committee gets
theirs in.-Philadelphia Press
Farmer-Come now, honor bright, do
you believe in the faith cure?
Granger-Be1ieve in 1t? I should say
I do. 1 have an aunt who gets SIS a
visit and is making loads of money
Boston Transcript
He (returned from a tour around the
world)-Awfully ugly little beggars, the
Japs. Why, I was considered quite a
good looking chap out there
She (absent1y)-Really?- London Tit
Bits
Most of the men we find at the sea-
Shore" says the summer girl, ARE
afflicted with ingrowing mustaches.'' p
Philadelphia Record.
All. this is my favorfte book, me
thinks; this menu chart of nice iced
drinks.-Indianapolis Journal.
WITH A LOWER CASE ssB."
TF'rom the Los Angeles Tirnes.1
He was printer and he was taking a
might off, AS he approached Second and
PROC 1ruou about 10 O'clock n m uavipat-