Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1900-10-12
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times she is talking to another wom-
an. Life.
Teacher-Johnny, aell me the name
of the tropical belt north of the equa-
tor? Johnny-Can't sir. Teacher-Cor-
rect. That will do.-Yale Record.
do you mean to insinuate that
can't tell the truth?" by no means.
1t is impossible to say what a man can
do until he tries. Chicago Post.
Always There: Quericus-I suppose
you had plenty of fresh things at the
summer hotel? Eyes; paint and col.
lege-bred waiters."-Town Topics.
Great Actor-I propose making a
farewell tour Of the provinces. What
play would you advise? Critic-"Much
Adieu About Nothing" Jour
nal.
The Philadelphian-Isn't the mud on
this street a tritle deep? Chicagoan
proudly)-Deep? 1t is the deepest mud
on any paved street in the world!--In-
dianapolis Press.
His Bait: Nimrod-Pat, did you ever
catch frogs? Pat-Faith, an OF did.
sir Nimrod-What did you bait with2
Pat-Begorry, Oh bate 'em with q
shtick.-Chlcago News.
| Jones-I have been trying to wade
/ through Browns book. 1t Is a vile
thing, but presume there Is a moral
TO it. Smth-Certanly The moral is.
Don't read it."-Boston Transcript.
Ethel-That detestable Mrs. Bloom
said that | looked thirty. Maud-How
perfectly absurd! Ethel (elated)-
Frankly, now, how old do you really
think look? Maud-About forty.-Tit-
Bits.
A country paper has this personal
item: "rhose who know old Mr. Will
sou, of this place, personally will re-
gret to hear that he was assaulted in
a brutal manner last week. but was not
killed"-Tit-Rits.
Greatun-Well, have my new novel
almost done. Amicus-Why you
haven't written line of it yet. "True,
but know just where l must go to
, steal each different thing l am going to
8 use in it."-Chicago Tribune.
''Yes, baby looks like his papa" said
the proud young mamma. I'm sure
he'll have nose like him" EYES," re-
, piled the temperance lady next door,
you give the little one gin for the collie,
4 | understand Philadelphia Press.
a Jones-Great Scott! has that man
o been in an explosion or railroad
wreck? Brown-Neither; he's CEN
, sus enumerator who showed up Il
smaller population in his town than it
had ten years ago.-Detroit Free Press.
, His Redeeming Quality: Judge-You
were begging on the public streets, and
yet you had twenty dollars in your
, pocket. Prisoner-Yes, jedge, l may
|. not be as industrious as some, y'r
n honor, but I'm no spendthrift.-New
York Weekly.
: A danger to be escaped: "The whole
= civilized world ought to be inter-
: ested in putting down this Chinese up
: rising" II should say so. Why, an his
\ torical novel written in Chinese dia-
ect would be simply awful."-Indian-
JOuTudl.
acking Credence: Can you believe
~ what he says" asked the journalist of
20 the newspaper man. "I'm sorry to be
= compelled to answer that question in
/ the negative" replied the latter; "he is
" as untrustworthy as a copyrighted
~ cablegram. Bazaar.
70 Poor woman! She works hard all
v day, and then she's up nearly all night
st with the babies" "Whats the matter
T. with her husband? Why doesn't ht
er help herr" "Oh! he puts in all his thn'
agitating for an eight-hour day for tn,
worklngman."- ."-Philadelphia Cattoli,
y Standard and Times.
or Ordering by the Card: Diner Ito res
H. for dinner? r-Roastbeeffricas
N seedchickensteweda dambhashbaked an,
70 fried potatoes college pudding millitea
It. andcoffee. Diner-Give me the third
eS fourth, fifth, sixth, eighteenth and nine
10 teenth yllables.-Tit-Bts.
lie AS Advertised: Don't you hire an
servants at all to keep this hotel clean
ly My room Is in an awful dirty cond
es tlon," complained the victim Of til
summer hotel "ad." "That is the fau
of the windv' declared the proprietC
blandly. you know we advertis,
he Swept by ocean breeZes!"
ne
.u- Advice for Papa: Henrietta, of Cl
he louisville, says: "My papa objects
In my admirers sitting on the steps an
ed talking with me until late hour
la- night. He claims that he cannot slet
ed on account of our noise. What wou
by you adviser Advise papa to sleep