davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
not bit put out at the looks of surprise

not bit put out at the looks of surprise
around him.
"Mebbc We might dodge around that,
too says Enos, "but we've sartaiuly
got to know whar you stand on the silver
question. It's what they terms of vital
intcrest-that is the vitals or the United
States are Mt stake-and you cant do no
fooln when that's the case. Jericho rises
up on her hind legs. Abncr, and asks
whar you stand. 1t may be that the fate
Of nation depends upon your answer"
81 amt standin," replies Abncr as cool
as can be.
but hain't you got no gudin princi-
plcs. no party platform? llaint you fur
sunthin or ag'in sunthn|
Eyes, I'm fur sunthin. I'm standin pat
on my great grandfather
"But that's no pint shouts the dca.
con- "Why. by lingo, if George Wash
ington had stood pat on his great grand
father he'd never hev bin heard Of
And what about your great GRANDPA
ther?" asks Enos in kcerful way.
Gle died at Bunker Hill" says Abncr.
eyes sir. he poured ont his blood right
then and thar that we might be free and
America might be what she is, and I'm
standn pat on his record"
"Thcn it's pint" yells the deacon
rs he turks on the floor with his c,nc.
at surely is pint, BY jingo. Ahncr,
you kin 90 before the patriots Of Jericho
on that record and win every time"
Thar was a good deal of enthusiasm
around. and it looked as if the case was
settled fur good and all when Enos mo-
TONS fur silence and says:
We've got TO hear from Lish Billings
yet. He's bin chawin dried apples and
savin nuthin, but we'd like to hear from
him. VIII he tell this asscmbagc whar
he stands?"
"I'm also staudin pat" says Iish after
awhile
"Standin pat on what?"
"On my great grandfather"
"And what did he do
Git and poured ont his lifcblood same
ms Abner's."
"Was 1t at Bunker HIM.
"Noap; it was AT Lexington. and. as
Lexington was fit on the 18th Of April
and Bunker Hill on the 18th Of June.
am iist two months ahead on the life
blood bizness and asks this crowd Of pa
triots to stand by me-
IFS n pint" yclls the deacon as he
waves his cane around and knocks off
three or four hats. ITS pint and a
strong pint. and, 10y lingo, if Lish Bill
ings amt our next constablc,'
| felt sorry fur Abncr-I know he lays
it MP ag'in me. But how could tell that
Li~h Billings would also stand pat and
beat him by two months?
NJ. QUAD.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
A DeliCnte Girl

a young man spent Sunday with his
best girl over on Pipe creek somewhere
and noticed she did not eat much for
dinner or supper. He asked her with a
kind smile if she was SICK and she re-
piled by saying she seldom ate much at
any time.
On Monday morning he met the girls
little brother going TO school and asked
him how his sister was. The little boy
told him that she was just awful sick,
that mamma told her that she had eaten
too much pumpkin pie, cold cabbage and
fat bacon last night after you went
home"
The young man asked if doctor had
been called
The boy said mo. Sis is afraid to
send for DR., Aplin for fear he would find
out what made her 50 sick and tell it to
her friends. "-Minneapolis (Kan.) Mes
scngpr
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
PAYING CAR FARE.
Times when the Conductor Does II
For the Passenger.

DO we ever pay car fare for people 2"
said street car conductor in reply to the
question of a reporter who had sCrapcd
acquaintance through frequent trips over
the line. "Wrll. | should say we do.
have lot Of steady customers on this
run who ride with me as regularly as the
clock, and it's no uncommon thing for
one OF them to get on without any mon
ey In such case ! put up the nickel
myself as matter of course and collect
it next day. But there are plenty of
others where have to take chances or
else seem brutal, and sometimes it's pref
ty hard to know what to do.
at seems queer, but most of the folks
who suddenly discover they haven't the
price appear to be people of means, and
a good many Of them tell me they make
1t rule never to carry any money except
n little small change, which they are apt
to spend without being aware of it. Cen
orally they give me their cards, take my
number and send around a servant with
the fare as soon as they got home. IN
sorry to say, however, that some of them
are far from being that considerate.
Last fall a very elegantly dressed lady
got on the car and found she had nothing
in her purse oh, wcll,' she said, III
just give you check and in spite Of
my protests she pulled out Il book Of
blanks and a gold fountain pen and wrote
me Il check for > cents. Just for the fun
OF the thing ! presented it for collection,
but the teller insisted on my being prop
erly identified, and the result was that
missed my afternoon detail and lost half
days pay.
Another lady. who is very wealthy,
gave me her address and made me prom
Use to call next day Her house is away
out in the suburbs, and after allowing
me TO wait for half an hour in the hall
she sent down servant with four cop
pers and postage stamp. All in all,
though, | have actually lost very little
money paying passengers fares. 1t
wouldn't amount to half a dollar in the
last two years. and during that time I've
certainly made good for several hundred
people. New Orleans Times-Democrat.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
Ihe knfhachIId MiIlinns

The fortune of the late Baron Adophe
de Rothschild, estimated at about 2O0,-
100000 francs, has probably been left
to his wife. The collection Of choice pic
lures, the planting Of his Swiss and Aus
trian estates and the lovely gardens and
immense greenhouses (which rival those
OF Kew at Prcgny, his domain near Ge-
neva, were the occupations and amuse-
ments of the late baron's life. He cared
nothing for general society, to which the
baroness is also Indifferent, and the only
great personages they troubled them
selves to entertain were the late empress
OF Austria and her sister, the ex-queen
of Naples, to whom they were most kind
and faithful friends.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
MoNoToNY INDUCES INSANITY.
1t Leads to Depression. which Final,
Iy Develops Into Madness

One would be pnrdoned for thinking
that man who earned his livelihood by
working in the fresh air Of the country,
surrounded by sights delightful To the eve
and refreshing to the mind, would be far
less liable TO brain diseases than the man
sitting on a stool over a ledger In the
stnffy atmosphere Of a smoke dyed city.
But if statistics prove anything they
prove tho worthlessness of that possible
supposiion. More agricultural laborers
go mad per cent for per cent than any
other workers. 1t is monotony which
excites disinterestedness, which leads T.
depression, which develops into melan-
cholia which ends perhaps in a cure. pos
sibly in n suicidal act, probably in an
asylum. 1t may safely be said that Sun
day saves thousands upon thousands
from the madhouse. 1t is the one break
from week to week which thousands OF
natures demand.
The agricultural laborer, the artisan
and other similar classes Of workers live
in monotony broken here and there by
small incident which in time becomes it
self monUtonous. \ man perhaps drives
rivets. He drives them every day of the
week except Sunday Every motion of
his work becomes mechanical. He has
no interest in his work beyond what il
finds for him on Saturday. lie has one
thing TO do, and the more he does that
the less he does everything else. Conse-
quently the brain becomes weak for want
Of more general use and weakeus until it
snaps.
A tine thing is healthy hobby, but a
finer, especially for indoor workers. is
sport. Healthy recreation keeps more
people out of the madhouse than any
thing the doctors could do. Nature de-
mands a certain amount of balance, and
she will have it or be revenged. Tx
change.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
A Singing FrOu,

traveller recently returned from ia
pan tells thar in that quaint country
trained insects are kept in cages as sing
ing birds"
Firetles and crckets are often found,
but an especial fayorite is the singing
frog, \ rare one belongs to n lady of the
japanese court. 1t is highly accomplish
ed, as it has been in training for seven
years 1t sings beautifully and will do SO
even in the presence of strangers. In the
winter it hibernates. During its long
sleep its bed is jar full of tiny stones.
Over the jar is fitted n covering of straw
rope as protection against cold. These
frogs are delicate creatures and are very
sensitive, They show great affection to
those who treat them kindly.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
The First Duke Cremated.

The late Duke of Westminster was
known to be strongly in favor of crema-
ton. but it nevertheless came as a sur
rrse to the public to find that his body
had been committed to the furnace At
Woking instead OF being buried after the
fashion of his ancestors. He is the first
duke who has been cremated in England
and it is no secret that the queen was a
little gricvcd, not to say shocked, when
she heard that the late duke had desired
to be crematcd. as she entertained a pref
udice against this manner of disposing Of
the ead.-Loudon Letter.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
Daudcts Ideas of Death.

Alphonse Daudet constantly suffered
severe physical pain and was unable 10
sleep without the aid of choral. He WAS
always speaking about death and espe-
cially rejoictii in the theory prJpounded
by an English doctor that death was in
itself delightful sensation, vouptuous,
resembling The action of anestheticS.
Daudet oil one occasion dreamed Of
dying surrounded 10y his friends and con-
versing Of the hereafter.
He once tod Goncourt, who relates the
incident, that whenever he entered new
apartment for the first time his eye in
stinctively searched for the spot where
his coffin would be placed.-Lippincott ;
Magazine.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
A SONNET TO WORK.

whercto our labor and our bitter sweat7
The seed we we tramplc in the dark.
The flame we strike-our own tears quench the
spark
Tho white that we would purify we set
Our grmy print upon, and forget
Thy ways and thoughts are not as ours and bark
Toward what we take to be some heavenly mark
And find serve the devil TO abet
Then do thou blind us that we may not soc
The measure OF our own futility
Lest seeing. should cease to work and die.
Or give us sight, that VIC may know thereby
How through our labor, whatso end it meet
We reach toward thee who knowcst no defeat.
Katharine Warren in Atlantic,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
Two Musical Performers.

The late DR.. Spark, the Leeds corpora
ton organist, was often engaged for re-
citals and openings" of organs in the
east riding, and his blower followed him
about with n devotion which would have
been pathetic if it had not been so anus
ing The blower would generally be first
at the church, 50 that he might be sure
Of displacing the ordinary man, and
when Spark arrived he would remark
with the greatest sangfroid: It's all
right, doctor, I'm here; and there's sure
to be a good performance between U.S.
IOnEmanls.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24

81 see that collar and cuff trust has
been formed" remarked the ofliceholdcr
who was noted for doing the boss 3"
bidding.
But that won't affect you" returned
his constituent promptly.
GLOW so?"
1T doesn't include political party col
lars. "-Chicago Post.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24

Strangcr--IIc was teacher OF the
violin? And you hung him for stealing
a horse?
Leader of Regulators-That's right,
boss
violin?
that up too.-Chicago Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
Growth al INV.

No one formerly loonod On with any
pity or even horror at punishments which
are now found too dreadful for descrip-
ton. Men were broken on the wheel,
were burned at the stake, We're rackcd,
were cut up alive. No one seems to have
felt any pity for their agonies. Men were
put into noisome prisons, where, with
bad air and insufficient food, they died I'M
noticed and unpitied. 1t is very different
now, Human hearts are more tender
Chicago News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
Too Farseeinu.

How did you know, Harry, dear, that
l would say yes when you asked me?"
Because, my sweet, | am the seventh
son of seventh son. The future holds
no secrets from me-"
Indeed. Then you know, of course.
that l have no intention of ever marrying
you. "-Cticago Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24

"Oh, why moaned the hapless victim,
edo you kill me-"
Because | am Of unsound mind, Of
course" retorted the assassin brusquely.
For this was no time to be asking ques-
tons which in the light Of even casual
knowledge OF contemporary jurispru-
dence answered themselves. - Detroit
Journal
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
An Arti.t With Horse sen.e.

Fricnd-What on earth are you doing
to that picture?
Great Artist am rubbing a piece Of
raw meat over this rabbit in the fore
ground. Mrs. De Shoddie will be here
this afternoon, and when she sees her pet
dog smell OF that rabbit she'll buy it
New York Weekly
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
Too Much of II,

Grecne-liow does it happen that you
don't trade at Cleaver's any more? You
used TO brag about the nice cuts of meat
he always sent you. l. it because he
wouldn't give you credit?
Gray-On the contrary, it is because he
did.-l}oston Transcript
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
STRENGTH.

mo | don't think much of that COL
lego" asserted the man in the Prince AL
bert
Don't think much of it, exclaimed the
one with the figured vest. why, great
Scott, II turned out the best baseball
pitcher in the country last year. and It has
a man who broke the record putting The
shot. Chicago Post
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24

CHATS PM, rNoS.'
the Monroe doctrine. the gold standard,
free silver free trade and all that, but
can't mix in. I've got TO mix i'm to git
Office. | want to give MP hogs and 20
into politics. Pap you must help me
out"
But I'm postmaster of Jericho" SAYS
j, "and its furbiddcn fur postmastcrs to
talk politics. If Ia lose this job of
mine Mt S2G.50 year l don't know what
Mould become Of me"
But I'm ashin it as a personal favor,
pap he goes on. IN swear on the Bi-
bic never to tell. I've bin n friend Of
your'n, and now you've got to help me-
WHAT'S the Monroe doctrncT
Il wouldn't dast start in to tell YOU as
| never studied up on it. What don't
concem the postotiice don't concern me,
you know"
4 see; but l thought you might at
least know who Monroe was. When |
hear Lish Billings, Zach Scott, Enos
Johnson and the rest Of EN- talkiu about
Monroe and his burned old doctrine as
Tlp as YOU please it makes me b'ilin
mad. D'you know anything about free
trade, pap?"
"Skas,ly. Bein busy in the grocery
and poStoilice, don't 20 into outside
things very much.'
And what about protocton?"
Same thing. | reckon We arc pro-
tecicd, but jist how | can't say"
But I've got to find ont all about
These things, and how am | goin to do
it, asks Abucr, fcclm sort Of desperate
"Why don't Nou 20 to Lish BillingS:"
says 1. "L~h is purity well posted and
VIII help you out"
But how. kin |? Ii-h wants to RIM
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
A Victim of the Elements

Seeing young negro limping along,
supported by a crutch. traveller at a
railroad station said to the aged hotel
porter
That fellow seems to be in n bad way
rheumatism. ! prcsumeY
NO. sub" was the reply. Hit WIZ
ligktnin, suh-he wuz struck by lehtnin
en- his lcf' leg wuz unlimited FUN de knee
down" -Atanta Constitutions.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24

II want to get one o. them things" said
the Old lady, pointing at an assortment
of thermometers.
"Ges, ma'am." replied the dealer; how
high do you care TO go?"
"Why not too high and not too low. |
want one thatll keep my house just right
this summer. "-Philadelphia Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
BAD BARGAIN.

Mr. Slummer-Y story is not very
plausible one,
Street Beggar (anxiously-D'ye t'ink I'm
stuck. Mister ! payed Pete de Poet 81
fer writin me dat string of talk'-Brook-
Ign Lila
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
The Condition of Affairs.

How do you lind your neighbors?" in
quired one man Of another who had NOV
month before
Il don't have to-" was the reply. 1T
takes all my talents to keep them from
finding me.'-Detroit Free Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24

"The Beers have caught one of those
young English lords who go on the
stage
THAT would appear to call for firing
squad and a violent death. "-Cleyeland
Plain Dealer.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
INJURY IL A FRENCH DUEL

while l was abroad | Witnessed duel
I'm France
anybody hurt"
"Ncs; one OF the principals had a RIB
broken embracing the other after the
combat was over '-Philadephla North
American
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
Dom estic Repartee.

She-I always speak ont when | have
anything to say.
He-Yes, but the trouble is that you
do not limit yourself to speaking ont
when you have anything to say.-Chicago
Times Herald.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24

In Sydney the street car lines are own
ed by the municipality and no fares are
charged. Homeless folk, it is said, use
them at night instead Of going TO cheap
lodging houses.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
Natural,

"Mr. Shrickcno says he is always
nervous when he gets up to sing"
81 don't blame him." answered Miss
Cayenne. "He has heard himself be-
fore. "-Washington Star.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
THEY BOTH STOODPAT
AND BOTH FELT THEY HAD THE BET.
TER OF THE ARGUMENT.
But Unfortunately For Abncr the
crowd Voted That Lish Had Made
the stronger Point mud Deserved to
he Made Jerlcho's Constable.
copyright, 1900. by G. l.. Lewis.

TCopyflght IJ0O. BY Q. r. DeWIs.I
When the postoilicc crowd went home
t'othcr night, Abner Jones staid behind,
and as soon as we war alone and the door
locked he says to me.
Look here, pap. I've got sunthin on
my mind and l want TO talk with you"
Measles or mumps among the chill
drcu" | asks.
40; nuthin of that sort. It's about
politics. I'm thinlin about ruunin fur
constable or sunthin or other next lee
fion, but | don't see my way clear"
What pears to he the troubcl"
Argument, pap-argymc I've bin
buyiu and shippiu hogs fur the last 20
years and hcvnt paid no tcnShun to pol
itics. Mcbbc you hcv noticed that | sit
here every night and don't skaSsly open
my head. The rest Of 'cm go on about
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
POLISHED.

THAT trip to Europe did much TO broad
en- your son Henry's Views and polish his
manners, didn't it?'
81 should say so. Instead OF saying IN
bet YOU as he used to, he now says IN
lay you wager Chicago Tlmes-Her-
aid.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24

He-Whats the matter, dear? You
look as if there was something troubling
yLuI
She-There is I've joined Don't
Worry club" and / don't know how in
the world ! am going to pay my Dues
Yonkers Statesman.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
NICrIM OLE HOME ROUTINE

You don't need any medicine so home
and put your heavy clothes on again"
Il can't do il, doctor; my wife's packed
them all away in moth balls -Indiana-
polls Journal.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
For Emergencies,

"Dobey has just bought the latest die
tionary for his wife"
eyes; he said something might come
up she'd want to know about some time
when he didn't happen to be at home."-
Life.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
PREMATURE SUGGESTION.

Jones, whore are you going TO escape
the summer heat?"
Escape the summer heat? Why, I'm
busy Just now escaping the collector FOR
the man who furnished my winter heat "
Chicago Record
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24

Mceks-Now, like TO listen to n minis,
ter who sticks to his text when he
breaches.
Weeks-Then you ought to attend our
church. The minister sticks TO his text
about two hours and a half as a rule
Chicago News
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
MARRIAGE MAKES NO CHANGE

Marriage makes no change in men"
The wife observes with Clouded brow
Johns up to his old tricks again;
When he came counting me, | vow,
couldn't make him go home then
And can't make HIM come home now >
Chicago News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24

"Dekantcrs a funny fellow He says
even the smallest drink OF whisky al
ways goes TO his head
We'll. that's the truth"
What? An old topper like he is?
Certainly. He couldn't drink it through
his fset."- Philadelphia Press,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24

Clarence caught cold nearly a year
ago that he hasn't got rid of yet"
"You don't say"
Eyes, He married a Boston GIRL
philadelphia Bulletin.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
MOST UNUSUAL.

"FIer singing lessons accomplished the
most wonderful results"
What Did they really enable her to
SING"
mo; they convinced her that she
couldn't"-Philadelph Bulletin.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24

Onc-ffteenth Of the inhabitants of
Spain are mobiles.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
Judicial Persistency.

"This is the seventh time you've been
before me-" said the magistrate.
YES" replied the culprit. It's strange
how some men hold on to Office. Phil
adelphia North American.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
Not Surprising.

Nj. Shrickeno says he is always
nervous when he gets up to sing"
81 don't blame him." answered Miss
Cayenne, "He has heard himself be-
fore. Washington Star.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
TOO LITERAL.

The camel remarked to the apes
81 think it's a mighty poor jape
TO light with a jump
On the top of my hump
When | said Just get ON to my shape "
Chicago Record.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24

81 see that golf sticks will be worn
shorter this season"
Shorter? Say, it's good thing it isn't
longer"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
MEDIUM DESIRED.

1t is believed that in China there is 20
times MS much coal as in all Europe.