Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-09-19

and each faithful dog obeyed his mas,
ter. The people at last craDed their
necks over the pews. and when the dogs
actually fought not a few of the congre-
CATION were outstanding. The minister :
pa fence was ultimately exhausted, and
SO he called to his hearers and said,
".Ah, weel. my brtherin, see ye are
more interested in the dog fight than in
my sermon, and SO III close she buike---
and III be. half q crown on the coilie.
\ short time ago, at a school in the
North of England, during lesson on the
animal kingdom, the teacher put the fol
lowing question:
Can any boy name me an animal of
the order indentata; that is, a too;hless
animal?"
A boy whose face heamed with pleas
nye at the prospect OF Il goos! mark ~
piled:
Il can
Well what is the anmal?''
MY grandmother. replied The boy. in
great gee.-Tit-Bits.
heard good story the o her day. and
ma be you have heard il, too; but, any
Way, it is worthy Of repetition:
"Dan Grogan was prosperous con
tractor, and he had four boys. great, big.
s;rappn' fellys, wild HANGS on EN- like
canvas hams IAN wan DAY whin Dan
doi3 these same, buc"os had Il Hora! plly
made fer i'm wild Papa in purphcl i'm
martels ophon e.. Phwat do yees tink
av thin. Papa, and thin wild hans as
big AS hams!
wv ell. they tuck Dan, pace DC to his
soul. out IA the cimetery. and phwin they
got i'm thayre the palbrarers al! walked
along and dhropped clod av dirt upoa
I'm. and thayre whoit gloves as we'll, and
ty, ~ L ,.n avid n
pilly. He bumped up against Mick Nc
Carly and knocked off The FIRST on
Papa and e, left only "A. +. A. Thin
they reilyphoned fher the carAner. -
beaver Times.
Four-year-old Dorothy OF Philadelphia
is used 20 silent grace a table. When
IN Episcopal minister dined with the
family the other day ne was invited to
thy reprovingly, as the minister began.
I'VE always say grace before We talk. -
New York Evening Sun.
The newly elected mayor Of Il country
town was about 10 make his first jour
ney in that capacity through the place.
The townspeople had arranged that from
an arch Of flowers under which he was
TO pass floral crown should hang. sur
serves it, But the wind blew away the
crown. and when the pompous mayor
passed under the arch. TO the grea. Joy
of those who had voted against him. on
~ a rope with a moose at the end Of il
dangled there with He well deserves it,
standing out in bold relief above it,
New York Evening Post.
Ono OF the Summer Sights in Boston
l.,Ix lD1x
belt, on a large plate exactly at the back
of which was engraved in conspicuous
letters the name Emma. As she
moved along the street, grand, gloomy
aud peculiar. the small boys set up be-
hind her Il shout of Whoa, Emma
Mrs. DeKanter-"Yo said you were
going TO be detained at your office all
evening, but you weren't there. Now,
where were your
Mr.. DeKanter-"My dear. there's no
sense in your getting excited. 1t really
Mrs. DeKanter-.'Why don't You an
swer my question:
Mr.. DeKanter-"Ay dear. / would an
swer your question if I was sure you
wouldn't question my answer'-Phila-
delphia Press.
Judy show going):
Tom discovered by his hostess papa in
tears.
Hostess Papa-.Afraid, Tom? Cheer
up, old man, they're only dolls
Poor Frightened Tommy-"They won't
be dolls when I dream about them to-
night
A somewhat cantankerous old farmer.
who lived in a small village in Shrop-
shire, took to himself 4 young wife At
ter the union, however, the parties did
not seem to agree as well as might have
been expected.
One day after an alteration, in which
the wife had the worst Of it, the vicar of
the parish. happening to meet the old
man. rebuked him for his harshness, re-
minding him that the wife was 1.-THE
weaker vessel
We'll, sir was the logged rejoinder.
'if she be the weaker vessel she didn't
ought ter carry as much sail."-London
Spare Moments.
"Constable!".
Policeman Yes, ma am. What's
wrong, ma'am?'
Mrs. D'Avnoo-s'Nothing wrong; but
] wish you'd step INTO the kitchen and
tel 1.-The cook not to burn the meat. as
she did last night. I'm afraid to-
London Tit-Bits.
Towne-''So you called on the Smiths.
There's a young girl next door to them
that pounds, the piano all the time. The
night /"
Browne-'Yes, she was playing all the
time | was there"
Towne-"Was she? Can you imagine
anything worse than thatE'
Browne-"Yes, it would have been
worse ii I had been there all the time
she was playing. "-Philadelphia Press.
There is a quaint little story in Ad-
miral Kennedy's book Of recollectons
about a lady of Calcutta who told the
admirars flag captain that ''she loved
to see the dear sailors lying drunk about
the street, it reminded her so OF home :"
..yJHba cwanI r,otato sings q mont ,,aro1 "