The times., 1900-12-23

There's no hypocrisy about mel" said
rather agressive-looking matron the
other day, after a series of tea meetings,
where her exit was better appreciated
think. and If people don't like it-weii.
1 can't help it."
Evidently this lady had not studied
even the rudiments OF the art OF charm
ing, or she would know that perfect hon.
esty in ones outspoken thoughts Is the
deathbiow to popularity. 1t is good to
be natural when ones impulse is to be
Thoughtful. charitable, and. kindly dis
posed; not when it is to iniict others
with our unpleasantIy truthful and sar-
castle remarks.
Many people will tell you that per-
sonal charm Is natural to some, and that
is why SO many girls who are not SO
richly endowed are doomed to walk
through life without arcusing the slight
est interest in the =s...ds OF others. This,
to certain extent, is quite true; but
the art of charming does not consist
solely in a pink and white complexion.
gazelle-like eyes, and Grecian features.
An ordinary woman with an expressive
face and cultivated charm of manner
has great ascendancy over the lovely
woman with a dull mind
The first thing to consider is tact, and
tact requires study and a great control
over impulse. SO advises the "Pittsburg
Despatch" 1t Is 50 easy to speak ones
mind on a subject OF some Importance
to US; but the tactful woman must al
ways think before sine speaks, and, in
Of rap inc tn viy
way while really bringing people round
to her way of thinking.
A great deal depends on conversation,
but woman. to be clever talker. must
have good memory She must keep In
mind as much as she knows Of the tastes
and prejudices of those present II So
and-So has done some act Of galiantry; II
someone has literary tendencies, or an
aunt on the stage; ii such another is SEN
timentally inclined, and dabbler in pc
etry or art. and SO on-of each and all she
must remember
"As you said the other day" Is a good
way, of introducing pungent remark; or,
AS your favorite author has It." which
shows an interested regard In others
preferences.
If it is a man the amateur is dealing
with. she must not talk about herself. or
try to make him think how clever she is.
She must brighten him UP. lead him on to
say witty things, and make him think how
clever he Is reminding him Of funny things
he said the other day, until before long he
will begin to feel especially IL he is really
dull fellow. that he Is a lot smarter than
he thought he was, and viii correspond
ingiy adore her.
4 young husband recently complained to
bis wife of her change OF manRers-
you seem to be quite different to the
girl / married." ne grumbled. Then you
were so sweet and charming and so easily
pleased
Il dare say" said the wife calmly. 81
listened then: now / talk"
II member of her own SEX the charm
er's task Is far easier. Women, although
quite as susceptible to nattery as men,
do not require such an effort OF mind or
perfectness Of memory. The average wo-
man has no wish to be thought clever or
we'll informed. She Is quite content to
hear you praise her cooking or admire her
new bonnet; for you find out a dimple
in her rounded cheek, or to ask her how
she manages to keep her home SO snug
and comfortable. II there is baby, there
is more scope; but care must be taken not
to oyerdo it, for the fond mother. al
though she may gush over her infant her.
SELF does not care for strangers to take
the same liberties She likes her darling
to be treated reverently-the veil to be
llfted cautiously, ana just an aumlrln8
peep at the little face beneath One may
then remark, with enthusiasm. on Its
beauty. the tiny c1inging fingers, and the
unusual quantity of hair, until this happy
young mother quite succumbs to the fas-
cination of one whose tastes and ideas are
SO like her own.
With elders, the charmer needs to use
far more discretion. Men and women, as
they grow older, and see more OF the
world become more and more suspicious.
CT it's dealings. Flattery must be very
carefully and discreetiy administered.
Ii the charmer's subject is man in
whom she feels more than ordinarily in :
terested her situation is precarious, for
she has her own feelings TO study in the
matter. Provided his attentions are not
already engaged, and she is not above
little designing. she may succeed above
her expectations. A shy glance or quick
smile when he happens to turn her way
may have some effect She must not seek
his society, but she could easily place
herself in q position for him to seek hers
II she has q chance nf conversation wssshh
him. she might ask Tor advice. for opin-
ions on various subjects. and tell him
artlessly how very ignorant she is. There
is nothing like being confding and femi-
nine.