The Portland daily press., 1900-07-31
EVER BEEN TO A HOUSE
PARTY.
Here's an Article That Tells Just What
One Is Lixe-The sO-CalIcd Fun.
(New York SUM-

NEW York Sun.
GIVE been to one of those things they
call a house party said the man
from Brooklyn, land I think I have
every reason to congratulate myself
on escaping from it alive.- left rather
suddenly and unless I am towed by
pair of canal mules have no notion that
| will ever attend another. Tt was my
first house party and I had sort of
feeling insilS of me that 1 oughtn;t to
60, but that idiot Smelling who lives
next door to me told me it was more fun
than anything else in the world and that
a lot of pretty girls would be there. In
a weak moment I relented. 1t was be-
cause of the pretty girls, 1t is also be-
cause of them that L will never go to
another one of those things.
'You see they were two house parties,
The Smokes had house full of people
and the Killems who live next door had
another bunch was with the Smokes.
I'm a modest man and as it was my first
experience among young and giddy
things I guess 1 was quite joke. After
a while I sort of got in the game but I
always was afraid that something would
happen Ever been to a house party
No? Well, if you ever go to one don't
be indignant if a bucket of water is
thrown into your face some evening just
as you turn around corner in a dark
hall because there's a girl behind that
bucket and she really believes that that's
a whole lot of fun. Don t cuss either If
what seems to be seven million tin pans
crash outside of your door some night
just as you are doing off, waking you
up with a start and almost turning your
hair gray. That's a girl too. They do
that kind of things at a house party and
everybody seems to like it. pretended
to like it myself, but say, there was one
little plump girl there whose neck I
would like to wiring. She was the darnd-
est-but then what's the use of telling
you about her. She wasn't the means
of driving me away, although she would
have been If this other thing hadn't hap
pened.
when the gang at the Smokes and
the gang at K1Ileln' s worked off all their
gags at home they began to use them
over again on one another. 1t was moth
ing for the K1llems to come around under
our windows at midnight, with a chape-
ron, OF course, and wall like lot OF sick
cats all night long, In retaliation our
crowd would 90 over to the KiIlemS the
next night and bang bed Stats against
the side of the house for hours at time.
Oh, it was lovely Before I'd been there
week [ felt as though I'd give ten years
OF my life for a good nights sleep, But
there was no such thing. The staying
powers of those young women were won
ar no and of
the first week the Killeln gang came over
with flag OF truce, and it was agreed
that there should be peace for q few days,
believe the idea was to get together
and have dance or something like that.
Anyway our crowd fell in with the prop
osition and everything was lovely. Our
young men began to get mixed up with
the girls of the other party and the young
of the other party discovered that we had
some pretty nice girls with us. Anyway,
everything was lovely and the hooks and
corners along the river bank and the
crows nests in the trees were over
worked.
'Weu now. there were two humners in
the Killem crowd and two of our young
men were rushing them to death. 1t
was a great filtration and everybody was
amused. One afternoon about five O'Clock
these two young men came back from
long walk with the hummers, and
they were very mysterious. One of them
cOnhded in me that the hummers had
promised to send them something nice
to eat for dinner. Well, the something
nice to eat came over after awhile. A
Hunky from the Kittens brought it over.
1t was on silver platter and there was a
napkin over it.. When the young men
uncovered it there was revealed Two slices
of toast just covered with fresh mush
rooms, cooked in butter. 1t was a sight
to make a mans mouth water. All
hands hung around and looked hungry,
but those two sat down at the table and
ate the entire outfit without so much as
Offering to share with anybody. When
they finished they explained their failure
to share the luxury by saying that it was
gift from the mum ners and was sa-
cred.
g The rest of us finished dinner and
Went outside to sit down on the veranda.
We had been out there about fifteen min
utes when the Killem hunky came along
and handed one of the young men note.
lie read it with an expression on his
face that L never seen on a mans before