Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-10-29
A College Joke.
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we went down. A half hour of vigorous
exercises, and we We're ready for the re-
freshing shower. This taken and follow
ed by good rub down, we ascended to
the main floor of the building. Natural
ly, both of us were in the best of spirits
A full length mirror ON the wall near
the doorway allowed us to see the main
entrance to the dormitory before any one
who might be coming in could catch a
glimpse Of us. No sooner had we closed
the door leading down to the basement
than the front door banged loudly. OF
course, we both looked toward the mir
ror, in which we saw the reflection of our
chum Ebert, immaculate, as usual, in
his dress suit and tile hat
Lets put up game on Ebert" sug-
gested Jim.
IAN right; what shall we do?" l re-
piled. Gle is out in that rig altogether
too often" by way of apology for any
thing my mischievous pal might propose
81 have it," exclaimed jim. We'll
pretend he's full and that we happened
along just in time to carry him up stairs.
Come on. It'll be a bully good stunt"
Elbert, by the way, although by no
means total abstainer, prided himself
on his moderation and ON the fact that
he had never been known to indulge too
heavily. On this particular night he had
been to some church affair early in the
evening and had dropped into the club
on his way home to play few games of
billiards.
Quickening our steps, we met our chum
just as he was beginning the ascent of
the first flight. "IIello, Ebert: out late
again" This will never do old man."
Have to tell Maud if you don't keep bet
ter hours, you old scamp" "What! Been
drinking And after church festival
in the bargain! Oh, Ebert you're going
to the devil fastr by the bones of Me-
thuselah, but he's full" This last ex-
clamation from jim, who promptly grab
bed the bewildered Elbert by the coat
sleeve and motioned me to do the same.
What in Jericho is the matter with
you fellows" snapped Elbert. "Come
up to bed without waking the proctor.
It's late, and I've got 8 o'clock recita-
ton i'll the morning. For heavens sake,
don't make so much noise!" This last
remark addressed to Jim, who was sing
ing and hiccoughing at the top of his
lungs.
Lean on me-" said the irrepressible
James. ''We'll get up all right with you,
old man, and we won't give it away.
Cad, but it's peach you've got! Where
did you find it? Careful, now, careful;
we're going by Professor Howard's
door"
Suddenly the door of Professor How
ards room flew open, and the venerable
dispenser of Latin poetry gazcd out at
the trio on the landing. For a moment
look of surprise fitted over his handsome
face. He knew of Elbert's much vaunt-
ed propriety. This look was succeeded
by broad grin Get him up as quietly
as you can, boys, and give him plenty of
bromo seltzer. Man is but mortal. Good
night"
During the moment that the professors
door had been ajar we had pushed Elbert
violently from one side of the landing to
the other and had drowned all his at
tempts to explain. He now became fu-
rious, and his loud expostulations only
added to the din and brought more people
to the doors.
"Whatll you take for it?" "Drunk
and dressed up" Take him down and
drown him." These and a hundred more
like remarks were showered upon the
poor unfortunate as we lugged him along.
The uncertain light and the persistence
with which Jim crowded Elbert's hat
down over his eyes from time to time left
IL.
Staid old graduates appeared at their
doorways in pyjamas and bathrobes and
stood there snickering as we bundled the
supposed jag through the halls
These same fellows would have slam
med the door in disgust if any of the rest
of the top floor gang had awakened them
by coming home half seas over. They
looked upon Elbert, however, as almost
too good for his associates, and his fright
full fall from grace made him an object of
derision. AT last the top floor was reach
ed, and we let him CO.
"Well, you buffers, you've ruined my
reputation all right" said our suddenly
revived friend, "but l must confess it
was a good joke. l was pretty mad
about the third floor, but Pve cooled
down now. Come in and have a drink.
l shan't try to square myself with How
ard and those stiffs down stairs, but do
call in our own gang and put them on
It's too good to lose"
The gang was called in and enjoyed the
joke hugely. Elbcrt was voted the best
fellow on earth, if he did come home
from church festivals jagged, and we all
settled down to game of cards. Things
were too much stirred up to think of
sleep that night.
The effects of that joke were fearfully
farreaching, and | wonder that Ebert
did not cut our acquaintance. Maud
heard of it and would not be paciiied un-
til the whole floor went around and
swore that Elbert never touched drop
except for medicine. For the whole of
the rest Of that year our poor chum was
always getting unpleasant reminders of
the jag he didn't have. Not till Elbert
left college could the sedate crowd on
the lower floors be persuaded to believe
that he wasn't as bad as the worst of
the top Fighters. However, the fact re
mains that | was never party to a prac-
teal joke that worked with better sue
cess.-Brooklyn Eagle.
No Bathing Suits Big Enough.