davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1900-09-27

at the moment prefer. To grant self
government to Luzon under Aguinaldo
would be like granting self-governmenr
to an Apache reservation under some
local chief; and this is nc more altered
by the fact that the Filipinos fought
the Spaniards than 1t would be by the
fact that Apaches have long been
trained and employed in the United
States army, and have rendered signal
service therein just as the Pawnees did
under the administration OF President
Grant; just as the Stockbridge Indians
did in the days of General Washing
ton. and the friendly tribes of tine Six
Nations in the days of President Madi-
son.
There are now in the United States
communities of Indians which have
advanced so far that 1t has been posi-
Bile to embody them as a whole in our
political system. all the members of
the tribe becoming United States citi-
zens. There are other communities
where the bulk of the tribe are still too
wild for it to be possible to take such
step. There are individuals among
the Apaches. Pawnees. Iroquois. Sioux
and other tribes. who are now United
States citizens. and who are entitled 10
stand. and do stand. on an absolute
rluahtg Win CitiLtue VI
white blood. Men of Indian blood are
now serving in the army and navy and
in Congress. and occupy high position
both In the business and the political
world. There is every reason why as
rapidly as an Indian. or any body of
Indians. becomes fit for self-govern-
ment- he or IL should be granted the
fullest equality with the whites: but
there would be no justification what
ever in treating this fact as n reason
for abandoning the wild tribes to work
out their OWL, destruction. Exactly the
same reasoning applies in the case of
the Philippines. To turn over the
Islands to Aguinaldo and his followers
would not be 10 give self-government
TO the islanders: under no circum-
stances would the majority thus gain
self-government. They would simply
be put at the mercy of a syndicate of
Chinese half-breeds. under whom cor
ruption would flourish far more freely
than ever IL fiourished under Tweed,
while tyrannical oppression would OBJ
tain TO degree only possible under
such an oligarchy- Yours truly.
THEODORE ROOSEVELT.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1900-09-27
ALL ALONEY.

Following is the present political
status of the six delegates from Idaho
who walked out of the Republican Ma
tional Convention at ST. Louis in 1896:
Lyttleton Price-For Mckinley.
Alex Robertson-For Mckinley.
Ben +. Rich-For Mckinley.
A. b. Campbell-For Mckinley.
Willis Sweet-For Mckinley.
Fred T. nubois-For Bryan.
Fred is fiocking all by himself
Idaho Daily Statesman.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1900-09-27

ITO grant self-government TO Luzon
under Aguinaldo would be like grant
ing self government to an Apache res
ervation under some local chief" says
Governor Roosevelt in his acceptance.
This opinion is universally held among
the 65.ooo American troops In the Phil
ippiueS
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1900-09-27

Ex-senator Edmupds has drawn at
tention TO the fact that IL Mr.. Bryan
We're elected President he could and
undoubtedly would change the whole
complexion OF the supreme Court as
soon as possible. II Is now shown that
the Populist candidate, with his Alt
gelds, around him, could easily do this.
for seven OF the justices might go dur
ing the next four years, all except two
members of the court being eligible to
retire during that time, II is further
shown that four vacancies upon the
supreme bench are entirely probable
within the next four years, and that,
according to all the precedents and the
law of averages in reference to admin
istrations, as many Judges as that
would be appointed by the next Presi-
dent. or course this state OF things
Is extremely alarming. not merely to
lawyers hu, 10 all property interests of
whatever kind. and 10 all advocates OF
law and order generally.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1900-09-27

II the Democrats were forty years
too late in appreciating the character
OF Abraham Lincoln, there is little
hope that the party will ever manage
to get abreast of what Is best and
greatest in current American history.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26
Gtrinr Him n Rest.

The energy of one of the oldest in
habitants of a Massachusetts town is a
byword among his neighbors and a
trial to his grandchildren, who have
not inherited their full share of his ac-
tive temper.
His grandson John in particular suf-
fers from the old mans untiring indus
try, for John is his assistant in the lit
tie grocery shop, where everything.
from Goldfish to broOms. may be found.
A purchaser of gingersnaps fingered
one day to hear the nOOntime address
delivered to poor John by his grand
father.
"NOw, Johnny. I'm a-gOing home for
my dinner" said the old man briskly,
''and on the way I'll carry up these
pals to Miss Manson and fetch back
her kerosene can. shall be gone up
'ards of half an hour. You'll have
plenty of time to eat your luncheon,
and while you're resting after that
wish you'd saw up that little mess OF
wood that lays out by the back door
and split it up for stove kindling, fol
the weather's turning sharp Already.
"Most likely I'll be back fore you gel
out O. work, and anyways don't wan
to keep you at it all the time, so il
there's a few extry minutes jest Sc
down and make out bill or two. Th'
fust of the month'll be upon us fore w
know it."-YOuths Companion.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26
ODD INSURANCE SCHEMES.
Novel Risks Granted by Up to Date
English Companies.

1t was stated recently as a fact of
novel and material interest that it was
now possible to insure for the contin-
gency of being the father of twins.
And so it is. You can also insure pro-
spective triplets. But that is a small
matter compared to the queer risks in
Surance companies are taking every
day. Anything, from the vicissitudes
of playing a fast bowler on a kicking
wicket to the chance of an heir chang
ing his religious tenets, is now a sub
ject for an insurance policy.
1--WE insure people against the pOssi-
bility of any calamity, whatever it may
be-" said Mr.. Armstrong of the Ocean
Accident Insurance company to a Mail
representative.
"Frequently we are asked to insure
against a man changing his name. Say
somebody leaves a property to John
Smith on condition that he takes the
name and style of Howard MOntmO-
rency Vandeleur. He wants to borrow
money on his property. The lender de-
clines to advance the money on the
ground that he has no guarantee that
Vandeleur went return to being call
ed Smith. We insure the lender
against that contingency, and Nande
leur mee Smith gets his money.
"Another type of case is an insurance
against the discovery of a missing man
A prodigal son leaves home for his
country's good, and nobody knows
where he is. His father, years later
leaves his property to be divided equal
ly among his children. The trustee O
the will finds himself in difficulty
The prodigal may return from hi
husks. and then the other heirs vii
have had more than their share. W.
insure the trustee against the prodi
gals return.
Not long ago we insured a mort
gagee against the mOrtgageOr's marry
ing outside the faith, because such
marriage would have cost the mort
gageor his property. Mail.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26
The Lark's Song.

A writer on "The Wonders Of the
SPRING says that the volume of sound
produced by the skylark is most won
derful. THE lark ascends until it
appears no larger than a midge and
can with difficulty be seen by the un-
aided eye, and yet every note of its
song will be clearly audible to persons
who are fully half a mile from the
nest over which the bird utters its
song.
"Moreover, it never ceases to sing
for a moment, feat which seems won
derful to us human beings, who fine
that a song of six or seven minutes IL
length, though interspersed with rests
and pauses, is more than trying. Ye
this bird will pour out a continuous
song of nearly 20 minutes in lengtl
and all the time has to support itsel
in the air by the constant use of it
WINGS"
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26
THE SUNDAY SCHOOL.
Many Things of Which Its Gradu-
ates Are Ignorant.

Many Things of Which Its Gradu-
ates Are Ignorant.
The failure of the Sunday school as
means of giving a systematic and
thorough knowledge of the Bible is
great. A teacher in a city high school
asked an advanced class of 40 or 80 pu-
pills. who had been drilled for years in
the International Sunday School Les
sons, how to proceed in order to reach
Palestine, and not one could give the
desired information. Then she asked
the class in what part of the world
Palestine is located, and no one knew.
That is a very good specimen of Sun
day school teaching and can be paral-
leled anywhere by those who will take
the trouble to ask few questions. The
ignorance of the Bible on the part of
most persons of average intelligence is
something amazing. The simplest
questions will elicit no answer on the
part of most such persons.
That educated persons know some
thing about the Bible may be assumed
but not unless the training goes much
beyond the standard of the common
school. Again and again it has trans
pired that those who were generally
well informed. who were fairly vel
educated and regarded as bright anC
clever were almost totally ignorant OF
the Bible. Their Sunday school train
ing had given them no knowledge OF
the book that was of any value, and
however much they might have read i
since, it was to them a sealed volume
Boston Transcript.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26
EAIning the Enemy.

A coal HEAVIER was getting in load
Of coal in the suburbs of London. He
was shoveling in the Goals at a good
rate when he was startled by a terrific
yell from the house adjoining.
"Wot the dickens is the matterr'
queried the coalman. starting up.
a disbeveled looking individual made
his appearance at the door.
Matter. you thickheadw shouted the
man. frantically endeavOring 10 pull
his hair up in clots by the roots, you
are putting the coal down the wrong
hole. My wife's people live there!'-
London Tit-Bits.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26
A BITE IN The DARK.
The Young Man Liked Jelly. and He
FILLED His Mouth.

A Young man whose work keeps him
down town until the early morning
hours usually reaches home with a
sharp appetite. His mother, an in
dulgent mother, too, puts little lunch
out where he can get it, but this fire.
Quently fails to satisfy him. His wise
parent knows this. and she saves the
larder from a wholesale onslaught by
locking things up.
Now. if there is one thing in particu-
lar that this youth dOteS upon it is
Jelly. But jelly is an article of food
that takes time and skill in its prep
aration, and if the lady left her jelly
lars at his disposal-well. there would
be none to dispose of after few
mornings So the jelly is locked up
the tightest of all.
The other morning the youth let him
self into the house just as the gray
streaks of dawn were crossbarring
the eastern sky. There was milk and
bread awaiting him. but his soul
craved for jelly. He determined to
hunt for some. Taking a slice Of bread
and a knife, he stole down cellar and
searched the fruit shelves. What hap
piness! He dimly made out the out
lines of a jelly jar. Was there any
Jelly in it? He dipped in his knife and
felt the soft and quivering mass. What
a joke on his usually careful mother
She had actually forgotten to turn the
key on this treasure.
He drew out a generous quantity anC
carefully spread it on the bread. H'
had to do il largely by guesswork, be
cause the cellar was almost total!
dark. When the spreading was done
he smacked his lips lightly and took
generous bite.
No, it wasn't jelly; it was soft soap
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26

and what I was going to telegraph you
about rs Sou came in was the purchas-
ing agency. We shall want a man to
buy the milk and soothing sirup and
see that they are pure. The salary
will be at least $4,000 per year, with
perquisites thrown in. My dear man,
you trusted me. This is your reward.
Now, will you shaker"
mot by a burned sightr' shouted
Mr.. Shine as he bobbed around. None
of this sort of rot will stand me off on
my $40. Do you want me TO take it
out of your hideY'
"And you can buy stock at par, my
dear fellow-stock that will be worth
$50 inside of four weeks. have ar
ranged for that. That stock will pay
you at least 100 per cent. Invest $1O,-
600, and you have an income of $4,000
per year. That's what comes of trust
ing to the integrity of Major CrofoOt
Is it enough? If not. just say so. and
I'll add $1,000 from my salary as pres-
dent"
Mr.. Shine deliberately removed his
coat and vest and flung them on a
| chair.
''Or if you want to borrow $40 for a
day or two you can have it and vel
come. I'll just step out and get it for
you"
The major stepped, and Mr.. Shine re-
moved his collar. tie and cuffs. Then
he spat on his hands and limbered VI
his arms and waited. He waited fol
half an hour-two hours. Then he got
up and redressed himself and kicked
over the chairs and desk and went out
The major had stood him off once
more. NJ. QUAD.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26
A RnaInesA PrOpOaltlOn.

Now. here Is a poet who is practical
enough. He halls from Dooly county,
and il will be seen from his letter that
he means business. He writes:
81 have wrote a poem about 100
Yards long, as nigh as | kin guess. 1t
took me six months an two hours to
write it. | amt no judge of these
things, an what | want to know is
where | kin hire a good man to read
II for me an tell me what it is. Tc
sich a man | will pay 81 day till he
gifts through. only he mustn't take too
longr'-Atlanta Constitution.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26
His Limit.

I'm getting along" said Mr.. Cum
rox. "Pm progressing slowly, but
surely"
"In what?"
Culture. I've been travelling around
with Mrs. G. and the girls until Tm
getting right refined. But there's one
thing don't think I'll achieve. ] don'
believe Ill ever be able to go into an
antique store and tell the difference
between bric-a-brac and junk. - Wash
ington Star.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26

There are sixteen morocco factories
in Wilmington in which over 800 fe-
males are employed in operating the
machines. Only few years ago be-
fore the introduction of machines in
the morocco business there were few
women employed.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26
Ir 40 mate "specIaIIst." !"

Doctor put mirrors in my waiting
rooms instead of magazines.
Friend-How does 1t work?
Doctor-Fine. People are so fond Of
looking at themselves that they come
early so as to have chance to walt
Town Topics.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26
THE GRAND SCHEMER,
HE UNFOLDS A PLAN WITH MILLIONS IN
1T TO A CREDITOR.
Major CrOfOOt Doesn't Succeed in COnvinc-
ing His Wealthy and SkeptiCaI Visitor,
But Docs Stand Him Off.
copyright, 1900, by c. D. Lev-is.1

copyright, 1900. by c. D. Lewisl
AS the man turned into the doorway
leading up to Major Crofoot's office he
had look of determination on his face.
AS he ascended the well worn stairs
his tread showed aggressiveness. AS
he banged the majors door open and
entered he had the air of creditor
who'd get his money or carry away his
pound of flesh. The major was in. He
sat at his desk smoking a very short
stub of cigar. but as the door opened
he whirled with a bland smile on his
face, and, rising, with both hands held
out. he exclaimed:
'Well, now. but this is truly a coin
'cidence-a coincidence! Come right in.
my dear fellOw-cOme right inr'
"Oh, I'll come in fast enough" an
swered the caller as he suited the ac-
tion to the words and came to halt
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26

diseases which al
feet the womanly
organs that they
write plainly the
sad record of suf-
fering on the face
and form. The skin
becomes sallow, the
cheeks are sunken,
the eyes look dull,
the body falls away.
No woman who
values her health or
good looks should
neglect to use DIR.
Pierce's Favorite e
Prescription for dis
eases of the wom-
anly organs. 1t
cures irregularity,
Inflammation, ulcer
alton and female
weakness. 1t lights
up the eye, bright
ems the complexion,
and rounds out the
sunken curves of the
body.
UI take great pleasure
in recommending DR.
Pierce's Favorite Pre-
scription for fem al {
/ ...,f-.,,,-s. - ,,r,-.fae. Me-
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26

Susannah Permenter, of Pauls Store. Shelby Co.,
Texas. II was troubled with bearing down
pains in my back and hips six years, and wrote
to Dr. Pierce for advice. tried his Favoute
Prescription and six bottles cured me. feel
like a new person, and thank Dr. Pierce for
my health Life is a burden to any one without
health. have told great many of my friends
about the great medicines took"
DIR. Pierce's Common Sense Medical
Adviser, 1908 pages, sent free on receipt
of stamps to pay cost of mailing only.
Send Fl one-cent stamps for paper COW
cred book, or 81 cents for cloth. Ad-
dress DIR. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26
A Keen Clear Brain.

Your best feelings, your social posi-
tion or business success depend largely
upon the perfect action of your Stom-
ach and Liver. DIR. Kings New Life
Pills give increased strength, a keen,
clear brain, high ambition. A 25c box
will make you feel like new being.
Sold by Benton N. Weldon, druggist,
Successor to Jas. P. Hoffecker, Smyr-
ma, and 7. L. Mason, druggist Clay
ton.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26

The Anti-Saloon League is making
an active canvass of Wilmington, and
it is expected efforts will be made at
the coming session of the Legislature
to secure the passage of local option
law.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26
WPI1kIeS Come

To many face which should still be
smooth and fair. Worry doesn't bring
them. There are no cares and anxieties
to f1rrow the face. They are the signs
of physical suffering, craven by the hand
of Pain. 1t is the saddest result of the
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26

The wedding of Stephen ?. Jump,
of Queen Anne's county and Miss Ida
S. Bergman, of Baltimore, took place
yesterday at the home of the bride.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26
rh. nov npd the Professor.

81 was mimicking Professor Bore
yesterday. and he caught me-"
'What did he say?
"rold me to stop making fool OF
myself."-Chicago Chronicle.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26

"Opportune" once signifled nothing
more than ito be at the harbor" An
opportune ship was a ship which had
come to port.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26

There would be considerably less
good fellowship in the world if it had
to be drunk in castor oil.
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26

Russia in Europe has a forest area OF
about 5O0.000.00O acres. One-third OF
the country indeed Is forest
Smyrna times., 1900-12-26

Some men spend the last half of their
lives discovering mistakes they made
n the first half.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1900-03-30
BORN IN HAVANA.

h Wife of Governor General
Wood Becomes the Mother of n
Ten-Pound Girl.
HAVANA, March 29.-Mrs. Wood,
wife of the Governor General, gave
birth to a t%en-pound girl at the palace
at noon to-day. Mother and child are
doing well. The records of Havana
do not show the birth here of any
other Governor Generals child. I'm
der the Spanish regime the wife of a
Governor General invariably left for
Spain that the child might be borne
there.
The afternoon papers had gone to
press before the palace event was an
nouncd, although the Discussion learn
ed of it indirectly and was thus able
to say:
I'VE wish all happiness to the Gov
ernor General, to his wife and to the
Cuban little girl, whom we hope, will
be a fervent partisan of the independ-
ence of her native country.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1900-03-30
MARTINS FERRY.
Budget of News From the City OF
Mills and Factories.

Budget of News From the City of
Mills and Factories.
e. E. McCombs vas in st. Clairsville
yesterday on business.
Marshal Lindemuth was in st. Glars
vile yesterday on business.
t. S. SHELTON, Superintendent of the
Shovel WORKS, had his foot seriously
mashed Tuesday.
w. H. Helfenbine, who has been
sick for several days, is able to be out
on the streets again.
John Noble, who has been the guest
of his brother, w. l.. Noble, returned
yesterday to his home in Chicago.
Charles, a young son of John Hen
| derson, died last evening after a lin
gering sickness of several weeks.
The election board will meet Satur-
day and get the tickets ready for the
distribution to the different precincts.
The loss in the house of James
Green, which was destroyed by fire,
has been adjusted by the insurance
company, paying Mr.. Greene 5000.
Rev. A. E. Brownbee, formerly pas
tor of the U. P. Church of this city,
was in the city yesterday, on his way
to Toledo, where he has accepted a
call.
The land appraisers will commence
work next Monday. Auditor Aldridge
| has called them to meet at his Office
| Friday, to receive instructions and
books.
The firemen's festival is being large
ly attended, and is certainly the most
| popular affair of this kind that has
been held in this city for many years.
| All of the people SEINE to take an in
terest and work for the success of the
| festival, which is the right way for
the citizens 10 show their appreciation
| of the firemen in the past. Friday
evening will be one of the largest
events of the festival, when there will
| be a contest for the most handsome
baby. for which there has been a large
number of entries made; also on this
evening there will be a cake walk by
| professionals.
The political situation of this city
is reaching the phase where personal
tiles and some charges may be made
that will awaken the citizens. So far
| all has been quiet. but generally, when
a candidate who starts out in his cam
paign and with his own words, hands
himself without fault or blemish in
the past, and states that he Is 80 con-
| structed that he cannot commit q
/, wrong. IN the future = likely to run
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1900-03-30
LOU SWABACKER.
Dbrelin9 Re9ister
Marsden L. Colvig's Millinery Opening
Wednesday and Thursday, April 4 and B.
All are cordially invited.
A False Report Corrected.

The following is sufficient answer to
reports which, for purposes of their
own, parties doubtless jealous of the
success of the Mail Pouch Tobacco
Works, have circulated.
We shall, at any time, accept all
Mail Pouch Vouchers which you may
send us in exchange for articles listed
on same, no matter what the date of
the series may be.
We shall also continue to furnish, on
similar terms as heretofore, all articles
listed on Vouchers packed in packages
of Mail Pouch Tobacco. You may de-
pend upon this regardless of false re-
ports which may be circulated to the
contrary in newspapers or otherwise.
THE BLOCH BROTHERS
TOBACCO COMPANY.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1900-03-30
w. A. WILSON & soy

Have removed to their double store
building, 1909 and 1411 Main street
and running through to South street,
a distance of 1873 feet, with twenty
three thousand square feet of floor
space all filled. We have the largest
stock of painters and builders supplies
in West Virginia at lowest prices.
Come and see us in u new quarters.
w. A. WILSON & SON.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1900-03-30

up against a snag before he is through
with his campaign. But the citizens
are making up their own minds, and
charges made that are false have no
effect on the voter this time.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1900-03-30
CONGRESSMAN KNOCKED DOWN
And Badly Bruised in "a Street Fight
Mt Terre Hnute. Indiana.

TERRE HAUTE, Ind. March ga
fight on the street occurred to-day be-
tween Congressman George w. Faris
and II. G. Pugh, ex-United States con-
sui to Palermo, growing out of the
manner of the withdrawal of the Con-
gresham from the race for renomi-
nation. The Congressman was knock
ed down and badly bruised but was
not seriously injured.