Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-01-07
served Mrs. Bowser.

ludI . Wudl IL uOcS. udL NY ulOUt
lacks is phosphates. You must f~ertilize
the blood the same as you would the
soil. By George, but I can feel it clear
up to my ears! / honestly believe thai
one single treatment will carry me
back fifteen or twenty years. You
know that when Pliny was eighty years
old he used electricity and Joined a
foot ball club"
Il never heard Of it, but / hope II
will affect you favorably. have no
ticed lately that you drag your legs in
going up stairs"
well, there will be no more drag
after tonight. On the contrary, I'll be
bounding up four stairs at a time
When l get through you'd better take
a treatment. There's nothing like TAX
ing time by the forelock. The subtle
fluid has not been permeating my sys-
TEN above five minutes, and yet I fee
as if I could jump yer a six-rail
fence"
For the next three minutes Mr.. Bow
ser leaned back and closed his eyes
and had a lamb-like look on his face.
Then the monotonous whirr of the bat
terry suddenly changed to a series OF
gasps as if for breath, and he straight
ened up with a yell and began to beat
his heels on the floor.
"What on earth's the matter?" ex-
claimed Mrs. Bowser, as she reached
over and turned the spring to shut the
current off.
"The blamed thing got away some
howl" he gasped, as he let the handles
fall. "The doctor said something about
induction, and I guess that was it.
Perhaps I've got enough in my arms.
For a few seconds I thought it would
pull every tooth out of my head. Say,
now, but before 1 try it on my legs I'll
experiment a little on the cat"
But you may scare her to DEATH"
"She won't scare for a cent. Say, it
will be a good thing for her. Shed
been growing lean and scrawny for
the last month, and electricity may be
just what she needs. Her blood may
need phosphates as well as mine. Is
the cook homer"
eyes, but don't you go experimenting
on her. If she got a shock she'd bring
a lawsuit for damages!"
"And why won't you try it?"
Because I don't need it. If that
thing runs away again it may tie you
up in knots. 1t was lucky l happened
to be here to turn the spring"
"Well, we'll see how it will work on
the cat. Even if her blood is not i'm
poverished she needs toning UP. Come
here, pussy"
The family cat came over to him with
out hesitation, and as she reached his feet
he started the battery and clapped a
sponge to each of her sides. For about
thirty seconds the cat bumped her back,
rolled her eyes and wondered about the
new sensation. Then she seemed to get
the idea that she was being attacked by
other cats, n tina it was to be a fight
for her life. Her first spring carried her
on to Mr.. Bowser's knees, and the next to
the top of his head, and the sudden at
tack rolled him out of the chair upon the
floor, He yelled and the cat squealed.
He pounded at her and she clawed. The
fght was over in a minute with the cat
shooting up stairs to hide under a bed,
but in those sixty seconds Mr.. Bowser had
received a dozen bites and a score OF
scratches. He scrambled up with blood
flowing from his wounds, and his dignity
all torn up the back, and his first act was
to dash the battery to the floor and jump
on 1t with both feet His next was to yell
at Mrs. Bowser:
woman, I'll wreck this house from eel
lar to garnet! You knew all the time
But Mrs. Bowser wasn't there. She mac
followed the cat up stairs. His first thought
was to rush after her, but as he reached
the stairs he paused with a new idea
Murder would not satisfy his thirst.
woman. hear mel" he called. TO-
morrow morning my lawyer-your lawyer
-divorce-no alimony, and you and your
blamed old cat may starve in the streets
and die in the ~poorhouse!'
Copyright, 1900, by C. B. Lewis.)