The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-11-25
NEW CANTERBURY TALES.
Some Products of a Cruisers Ward
room.

| From the Pail Mall Gazette.)
| Chaucer being now some little tim,
dead, his mantle may be looked upon a
at the disposal OF anyone who believes
himself possessed Of a great gift for tell
ing a good tale in strong and humorou!
verse. 1t may be that one worthy to veal
the mantle is alive today and vainly cast
ing about him for fitting theme upor
which, like a golden thread, to string hi:
pearls of rhyme. II that be the case
would venture to suggest that instead o.
| celebrating the doings and sayings OF i'm.
aginary frequenters OF problematica
inn, the modern Chaucer seize upon the
wardr Dom of a cruiser and the denizens
thereof He will find the den inhabited
by quaint and curious collection Of &C.
nial prevaricators, who will tell him tales
until he realizes that the fair Schehera-
zade of Arabian Nights fame was stutter-
ing and tongue tied. The poet will need
to do little in the-way of invention; he
will require no imagination. The ward
room officers will furnish all but the
rhyme. From Sub" to mo. T. they are
all truthful men (the marine. or as he
is called aboard ship soldier" will sub
stantiate every world in fact. am con-
WINGED that truth does not lie at the bot
tom of a we'll, but under the table OF
wardroom, realize that young poet is
peculiarly averse to advise, but IL he Will
accept a hint. here it is. As titles to his
various tales use the wardroom nomencla-
ture. For instance:
THE JUNIOR AssASSlN's TALE.
OF course every one knows that the
doctor is called The Assassin, and his as
sistant the Junior Assassin aboard Her
Majesty's navy. In the particular case Of
which l write the Junior Assassin was
sometimes miscalled 1.-The Publican" Tor
he kept the wine bill of the wardroom
Well, here's the Junior Assassin's tale:
This morning one of the bluejackets
called on me, and, holding out his up
turned PALM said: Would you look at
this ere, sir?' looked and saw number
of small glittering particles in his horny
fist.
Well, what are they and what of
them l asked.
WAT are they, sir? They's the gold
filings out @ my bloomin' teeth, sir.
Ships biscuits. sir. 'Arder than the PAWN
stones O. Piccadiily. sir
The Junior Assassin paused.
well, what did you do for him."
asked.
Couldn't do anything at the moment.
Could only advise hin to make the best
of it until the weevils got into the bis
cults, when the eating would be much
easier"
Certified to by the marine officer who
was there and saw everything.
The chief engineer (known only as the
Chief was patient. long suffering man.
who had spent many nights sitting by the
bedside of an expiring Belleville boiler.
which kept on bursting bloodvessels and
getting the death rattle in its thousand
threats. He had reconciled sort Of
spirit, knowing well that he would be
called to stop leak at thirty-seven and
a half minutes past any hour of the bless
ed night or day for the rest OF his natural
life His only envy was the man who
could sleep undsturbed through the whole
night So he told tale.
TIE CHIEFS TALE.
"Did you ever happen to meet Bulstrode,
chief engineer of the Bombastic? NO?
Well, he had the placid, even, Unconditional
that would to the Lord we
had all inherited. When / was assisting
him in the Provocation, l remember well
one night sending man up to him to re-
port the gradual disappearance OF the vacu-
um in our air pumps. Knocking at Bul.
strode's door, the man sang out:
PLEASE, sir the vacuum Is decreasing"
The answer came back IN a drowsy
voice:
"'All riglN. Report TO me il it gets
lower
Half an hour later the man again rap
ped at the door.
The vacuum " much lower, sir
Very good. Tell me If 1t gets still
lower
"After another half an hour:
Mr. Bulstrode, the vacuum's gone, sir
An right. Report to me If comes
back"