davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17
Reasonable Deduction.

I'm satisfied" said the young man
just home from college. "that the
science of electricity was understood
before the food"
Don't be foo" snorted the old gen.
tleman.
beg pardon, but Noah must have GER
tainly used some kind of an ark light.
Detroit Free Press.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17
The Greater Wisdom,

Watts--Don't you think that the mar
who knows when TO stop talking is
about as wise as they get?
Potts-About, but not quite. The
greatest brains is in the possession of
the man who knows when not to begin.
indianapolis Journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17
Worse.

II once thought there was nothing
worse than wheeling baby carriage"
The Brooklynite sighed.
"But when it comes to wheeling an
empty carriage and carrying baby
who won't stay in it,"
He sighed again.-N. Y. World.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17

The evils of talking about ones neipbbor,
furnished Sunday topic for one Of Omar J.
ciergymen. Never talk about your peichbor
tax about some one further away. Your
nelghbor might hear it and make trouble. =
Oma ha Bee.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17

Home Ties No Drawback.-He-"M
san you tear yourself away from your loving
father sroof and 30 with me?" She-"Mercy
yes; this isn't his roof; we're just renters. b
Detroit Free Press.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17
No Execution.

Wife-It does seem hard when q
woman marries she has to take her hus.
bands name.
Husband-Well, she takes everything
else he's got; why leave that out?--
judy
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17
Python and Boa,

The python in the old wor,lreplaces
the boa in the new. The python differs
from the boa in having four teeth In
the intermediary bone.-Philadelphia
Press.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17

The five, primary arithmetic and meta
physical rules are gloomeration, ambition.
distraction, publication and derision. Ii we
knew the author of that arithmetic we would
give him credit. hut we don tx Chicago In.
terror.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17

Hungry Harry Don't have nnthin' to do
wid dat swell in the golf toys" Tired limo.
t thy not! Hungry Harry He ack-
reation. "-Philadelphia North American.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17

Biil-''This paper says never to Law .
watch down." Gill-"WeIl, | should consid-
er that excellent advice, when you re
around. "-Yonkers Statesman.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17

When book agent calls on you, and you
manage to escape, he will ask you for ma mes
to call on. Don't give him names of friends
or NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17

I'm after you!" cried the hunter. I"
don't give a wrap retorted the SEAL There
upon be skinned Philadelphia Press.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17

a man who habitually gets into brown
study is liable TO grow b.ue.-Goldeu Days.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17

1t wouldn't te so bad if people told ali
they heard if they didn't tell SO much that
they did not hear.-Washington (Ia.) Demo
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17

A man could often do thing while look.
ing tor some other man to do It for him.
Chicago Daily News
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17

Nobody il as much afraid of a deadbea
as another Observation-Disclosures ia,
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-02-17

pear flowers, and that .'the common
honey bee is the most regular and inl-
portant abundant visitor, and proba-
bly, does more good than any other
species. Rural New Yorker.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1900-02-22
GOODIES.

French Dressing-Mash the
juice of a Glove or garlic into Il
bowl, put into it one half tea
spoonful salt and one-Quarter
teaspoonful pepper, six table
spoons oil and one tablespoon
vinegar. Beat well together.
Potato Salad Dressing-Take
half teaspoonful salt, one
quarter teaspoonful pepper, six
tablespoons oil and two of vim
egar. To this add,a tablespoon
finely chopped onion and mix
well together. Pour over the
potatoes while both are hot and
allow to stand until cold.
Cabbage SaIad-Soak ltnely
shredded cabbage in cold water
for one hour. Roll in a fowl
until dry. Season with salt
and pepper. Pour mayonnaise
over them, mix and turn into Il
dish fringed with lettuce. Gar
nish with a hard boiled egg,
sliced.
Tripe Salad, Cut picked
tripe into small dice, sprinkle
salt and pepper over it, then
spread it over a good, thick lay
er of water cress or chicory.
For the dressing take one-half
teaspoon salt, one.quarter tea
spoon pepper, one tablespoon
onion juice, four tablespoons
oil and one tablespoon vinegar.
Beat we'll together, pour over
the salad garnish with
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1900-02-22
SAGE OF SAWHAW SAYS.

A wife to be dear must uot
be too expensive.
Won der If the milkman ever
chalkS down his sins.
The maj who gets rich is the
one who makes his business go
while he works.
No curious persons ever yet
found out all they desired.
Men who get to the top on
the failures of others always
shoot down through one of
their own.
Aut hors don't always find
their royalties princely sums.
No card player minds a full
house falling on him.
One big fault will distinguish
a person much quicker than a
thousand virtues.
You can't always file away
the flaws in an Indictment.
Marriageable women often 60
to the seashore in anticipation
of a title wave.
Be just backward enough not
to appear forward and vice ver-
Sa.
The habitual borrower c an
seldom get people to leave him
him loan.
Seasoned conversationalists
are careful not to put too much
spice in their remarks.
Proba bly, it was sisyphus who
first observed that a rolling
stone gathers no moss.
1t is as hard not to like a
hatterer as it is to love a friend
who always tells the truth.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1900-02-22

was but a simple Virginia gen.
tleman.
He did not complain. Here
at Mount Vernon, as at Valley
Forge and at New York and
Philadelphia. one might see the
greatness of his spirit and love
him all the more for it.
Most pathetic of all was his
death. He. the strong man, ro-
bust in health. bled to death for
a slight cold that needed no
bleeding. First his Overseer
drew a way a quart of life fluid.
Then DIR. Cratic, the family
doctor, drew away quart more
and Drs. Dick and Brown, ar
irving later, ar additional
quart. There being no more
blood left, he could but die.
victim to the medical stupidity
of his age.
WILLIAM RoSSER COBBE.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1900-02-22
WANTS TO BE GOVERNOR.

David Ball of Pike county
wants to be Governor of Mis-
souri,, has for d long time, and
wants to be very badly. The
masses of the people prefer ev-
identity another man Of larger
proportions every way. And
Ball doesn't like that and calls
them hard names etc. 1t is
time now for David's friends,
for he has some, TO take him in,
he has dwindled and dwindled
to a disorganizer generally, and
would if he had influence
enough, divide the party and
give us taste of KY. politics.
No David if the majority is for
another man, it is manly to sur
render your claim and fall into
live like the good democrat you
claim to lie, and not undertake
to prove that you are the only
democrat and ali else are igno-
ramuseS or worse. II You will
not fit, in the estimation Of the
people, the gubernatorial chair,
possibly there is some other
place you will fit. But don't
start ont with the theory that
you are the only man for the
place and for another to seek
the same place is to make him
self target for nnkind and
uousensical allegations. -Shel-
bina Torchlight.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1900-02-22
J. D. ROHR,
WASHINGTON.

He lives in the hearts Of his country
men ever
Who planted among MS fair liber-
tvs tree;
He peacefully sleeps by the beautiful
river
That kisses his grave as it flows to
the sea:
And millions unborn will give ear to
the story
or Washington's deeds round the
universe told,
And over his sword is a halo Of
glory.
And tLc names of his battles will
never grow old.
The land that he loved will not Lick IL
defender
While shines in the heavens our
deotiny's star,
Or floats in the Sunlight our flag in
its splendor,
In peace ever glorious, triumphant
in war:
Mount Vernon, our mecca. We'll turn
to the ever,
Thy tomb is the shrine Of the noble
and free,
And brighter and dearer will grow
the great river
That carols of him as it glides to
tine sea.
II. G. HARBAUGH.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1900-02-22
olives

Oyster Salad-Put twentys
Eve large oysters into boiling
water. Take out as soon as
boiled, dust lightly with peps
per. Line a dish with chlcory
or lettuce. Cool the oysters
and turn OFT. Cover with one
half cup finely chopped celery.
Pour over the dressing and gar
nish with mangoes and, rad
iShes.
Lobster Salad-Put Holsters
into warm water, add a table
spoonful salt and boil three
quarters of an hour Use only
the tail and claws for the salad
Remove the meat. dust with
salt and pepper. Chop up, not
too fine, and cover with lemon
juice. Mix with mayonuaise
made from uncooked yolks of
eggs Put tie lobster in the
center of the dish, and put a
layer of dressing over the top.
Crate the lobster coral in q
sieve, and dust over the top.
Cover with the cleaned shell of
the lobster.
Remove skins from six ba-
nanas: cut them in halves
lengthwise; put them in an agate
pan. Mix two tablespoonfuls
of melted butter, oLe-third CT
cuptul of sugar and two table
spoonfuls of lemon juice. Basic
the bananas with half the mix
ture; put them in the oven; bake
in 4 slow oven, basting with
the remaining mixture. Remove
to a platter; garnish with a thin
whipped cream sweetened.
Cream two tablespoonful of
butter. Then cream one table
spoonful of peanut paste with
the butter. Add one fourth of
a cupful of sugar and one egg
well beaten. Sift together one
half cupful of -four, one-fou1th
teaspoonful salt, one teaspoon
full of baking powder and two
tablespoonful of milk. Mix
all ingredients together. Drop
from a teaspoon on unbuttered
sheet, one inch apart. Put one
half peanut on top Of each.
Bake fifteen minutes in a slow
oven.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1900-02-22
WASHINGTON IN OLD AGE
At MOUNT VERNON.

One will find Il pathetic side
in the life Of Washington at
Mount Vernon after his retire
ment from public Office. True, he
had conquered victories which
challenged the applause of the
whole world. His had been the
proud distinction to be chosen
twice to rule the nation he bad
established through his valor,
and the people had urged him
to continue indefinitely at the
head of the government. His
name was household throughout
TIE land and had become al
ready synonym for sublime pa
triulIaM. he WAS the richest
man in America and had an
adorable wife, who idolized
him.
1t might seem that the graf
titulr IF free people, che mem
orr ot the great works he had
done and the promise OF an old
age Of serenity, unbrokeu Of
strife or storm. would have
been sufficient to guarantee him
againS' any evil and 20 assure
him the sum of all human hap.
pines.
But, il the good and great
man bore with hun to his bean
tiful home on the Potomac
memories Of BATTLES fought and
battles won against self, against
an alien foe and against politi-
cal adVersalies, there remained
as well, the recollection of
calunuies thar would not die.
of ingratitnie sharper than
teeth Of Serpents and Of in jus.
tees that would not find repair,
alton.
Grant, possibly, excepted, no
president of the United States
was Slandered as was the Fath.
er of his Country. His enc.
mics declared him to be immor-
al, a gambler, a drunkard, with
profiting pecuniarily by meas,
ures winch had been passed by
at his suggestion; with
being now too friendly towards
the English and then towards
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1900-02-22

All trouble has one peculiari-
ty-it is easier to talk it over
than t. drive it over.
Times have gotten to that
pass where it is often impossi.
bic to distinguish the law-mak-
err from the lawbreal1er.
First come first served isn't
saying how well.-Chicago Dis.
patch.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1900-02-22

/ the French. They charged
against him that he sought at
| the foundation of the republic
to make Of it a monarchy. with
himself as its king; failing in
which. he then. after his Undue.
ton into Office, bad usurped
powers and prerogativeS with Il
view to ultimately overthrow
the republic.
Washington was a keenly
sensitive and a very proud man,
and these calumnies were as so
many vultures gnawing at the
vitals Of his heart. While ST.
lent to the world. he made
known to intimate friends the
pain he suffered from the
wounds inflicted by his SANDER
ers
The great man was not aV"rse
to a third term as president. On
the contrary, it was expected
by him and his friends that he
would continue indefinitely at
the head Of the government He
was a man born to rule; his i'd
ministration was founded upon
Justice and tempered with mer-
CIV. A man of his aristOCratiC
opinions and tastes could not
fail to like power and authori-
ty. When the time came, how
ever, for third campaign the
great mans soul siCkened. His
spirit revolted against attacks
from pamphlets and gazettes
and from the leaders of the par
ty in opposition to that which
followed his leadership. HIS
soul was sick, literally, of
abuse, and be longed for the
asylum of Mount Vernon where
he felt he should be secure
against any attack, and his
heart would be at rest.
In those days dueling was
universal. and the clergy even
regarded it without disfavOr. !
But Washington believed it !
would be undignitied. aud there /
fore improper, for the president
of the United States to fight a !
duel. He waited, although his |
proud and insulted spirit chat |
ed, until his second term of
Office had expired. Soon after
reaching Mount Vernon he seut
a close personal friend to Jetfer
son, with instructions to de-
mand a written retrdctiOn of |
charges with an apology, or a
meeting with deadly intent.
Jefferson was d very discreet |
person, as are most wise men, |
and Washington's friend re. |
turned with the retractiOn and |
the apology, If Jefferson ever
thereafter assailed the charac.
ter of Washington, no evidence |
exists to show it.
When he reached Mount Yer |
non in the spring of 1897, Wash
ington could look back upon Il
long term of public service.
Then s. years of age, he could |
clll up IT years, one after an |
other, before reaching the be
ginning of the eVentful course.
This service. while not continu.
OuS, made mp IN It's sum many |
years, and was never lacking in !
interest or usefulness, while. at !
times, it was brilliant and glo-
rious, Warning first against the
Indians and then the French;
serving in the house of bur.
gesses Of his native state; com.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1900-02-22


narS conditions, such the retir-
ingness of nature, he would
have lived his life out. dIgni-
i ed and houored Virginia plan.
ter, yet practically unknown
beyond the narraw limit of his
aristocratic acquaintance.
Doubtless, too. his had been a
happier life in this way; tor his
nature while great, was too
gentle to withstand with
equanimity the rude storms
which assail those who climb to
the top of the mountains of
glory.
Recalling this life of busy &C
tivity, as be frequently did,
there came to his quickened
spirit the memory of the bitter
with the sweet. While pre-
emnently great man, he was,
withal, essentially human and
it is the weakness Tor strength)
of humanity that it does not
forget wrongs. Forgiveness of
injury is a Divine attribute and
Washington was not Divine. 1t
was asking too much chat he
love those who had used him,
guiltless, so deSpitefully. Yet
in his retirement, he had done
50 much for the people saw his
enemies with a firm told on
power, while he was seemingly
forgotten. 1t was his to know
how easily one may pass out of
the great public notice, and
become as one that is dead, al
though yet alive and full of the
fire and the love of a mighty ex-
iStenCe.
Yet, scarcely more than four
months after his retirement lin
July, 1870, when there was
danger from a foreign foe, all
eyes were turned towards Wash
ington, and he p: omptly ac.
cepted position as head of the
army. The menace passed, but
he continued to be general of
the army until the time Of his
death.
Washington was, ever, 4 busy
man, in private as we'll as in |
public life. At Mount Vernon
he made daily tour of his es-
tate and gave personal direc |
ton to it's management, even to
small details 1t was he who
bought and he who sold. His
the mind that directed where
this kind of grain should be
sOwed, and what kind Of fertil
izer should be used. He was a
and therefore a very
successful farmer. 1t was in
the line of duty, making round
Of his plantation during a driv
ing rainstorm on the 10Th day
OF December, that he contract
ed cold, which eliminated two
days later in his death.
He was royal entertainer
Guests were at the old mansion
day in and day out all the year
rOund-friends the old world, !
statesmen OF his own country, |
and his old comrades in arms, |
Then there were the neighbor-
ing gentry, friends of a lifetime.
Washington joined in dancing
the stately minuet or in re-
counting of stories Of field and |
food. Dignified ever. lie yet |
before his guests, being
most genial and lovdble of
hosts. Here with his wife were
her children and theirs. all
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1900-01-19
A Great Investment.

When Spain wanted a railroad be-
tween Manila and Dagupan she did
not, of course, have money enough to
build it, So she told a lot of English
capitalists that if they would build it
she would guarantee them S per cent
interest on the investment. The En-
glish capitalists built the road. That
was before Mr.. Mckinley had his be-
nevolent assimilation fit. The rail-
road is not now paying the guaranteed
interest and of course Spain has been
released from the obligation because
we have assumed all her right, title,
etc., in the Philippines. So the En-
glish capitalists ask Uncle Sam to pay
the guarantee. The request has been
denied, but the denial is only tempo
rary. 1t would not do for the western
half of the alliance to throw down the
loyal subjects of the eastern half of
the alliance. We must loose no op-
portunity to show our love for our
great and good friend John Bull, and
golden opportunity is afforded in the
matter of paying this Spanish guaran
tee to the English capitalists who
built the acknowledgement railroad.
Every day we discover that we pur-
chased something new from Spain. 1t
is rapidly dawning upon the American
mind that we got an immense lot of
truck from Spain for that s2O,OOO,OO0
We got an expensive war, we got the
hatred of former friends, we got a
market for American cot1ins for Ameri-
can soldiers, and it may be that we
have secured the privilege of paying a
lot of Englishmen s per cent on the
$5,0O0,O00 they invested in a Luzon
railroad Omaha World Herald.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1900-01-19
PLANS SWEEPING REFORM.
The Judicial System in Cuba Is
to Undergo a Radical Ad-
justment.
PRISON ABUSES TO BE CORRECTED.
Secretary Will Act at Once-A Com
mission Composed of Three Amer
leans and Three Cubans Will BE
Appointed-To Meet as Soon as
Possible ut Havana.

Washington, Jan. 15.-Secretary Root
has taken steps to institute at once
sweeping reforms in the judicial sys-
tenn in Cuba, the animating purpose
being to correct as soon as possible the
Cuban prisons abuses which have al
ready been the subject of representa-
lions to the war department Gen.
Wood has been giving this matter his
attention and his Investigations into
the conditions of the prisons and the
faults of the Cuban judicial system gen
orally have confirmed Secretary Root
in his purpose to apply corrective
measures at the earliest possible mo-
ment. To accomplish this purpose, the
secretary has decided to appoint a
commission comprised of three Ameri-
cans and an equal number of Cubans.
This committee will probably consist
of Horatio Rubens, E. L. Conant and
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1900-01-19
SERVED CLARK FOR NOTHING.
More Evidence in the Bribery Case
Is Heard by the Senate Com
mittee.

Washington, Jan. 15.-When the SEN
ate committee on privileges and cleo
tons began its session Saturday in the
case of Senator Clark of Montana, the
defense stated that they had been I'M
able to find the letters written to Sem
ator Clark and Mr.. Bickford by the
dentist, Ector, who Friday produced
ed to have C. w. Clark, son of the SEN
ator, make a statement as to the dis
position of the documents, but Mr..
Clark being absent Mr.. Carr was re-
called to afford Senator Turley an OPP
portunity to question him concerning
his visits to Helena prior to the meet
ing of the legislature last winter. Carr
said the principal object of his visit
was to see about his resignation as
United States commissioner.
The first regular witness of the day
was M. L. Hewett, miner, who was in
Helena during the session of the legis-
lature in 80. He asid that Charley
Clark had asked him to see Senator
Myers and offer him $4,000 for his vote
for Mr.. Clark for senator. He had ac-
cordingly talked with Mr.. Myers and
testified that that gentleman had told
him, after first declining the PROPOSE
ton, to say to Clark that if he was dis
posed to do SO he could put $4,000 in
the hands of Mr.. Whiteside to be paid
to him (Myers) in case he should vote
for Mr.. Clark. Hewett said that the
senator's son stated that this arrange
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1900-01-19
A BROKEN HEART.
A Gearing Man, Whose wife's Anec-
lions Have Become Alienated,
Asks for Heavy Damages.

Affections come high in Gearing. At
least so it would appear from a suit filed
in the district court of Story county.
In this suit Lafayette Covertson, a
painter, of Gearing, as plaintiff, asks
$4,000 damages for alienation of the
affections of his wife, Elizabeth Covert
son. Some months ago the plaintiff
married an attractive and we'll to do
widow, Mrs. Elizabeth Shaw. It is said
that this union of heart and hand was
much to the distaste of the BRIDES fam
lily of married daughters, and as the
plaintiffs petition makes two of these
daughters and their respective hus-
bands defendants in this case, each to
the extent of $1,000, it is reasonable to
suppose that they have given him evil
dence of their distaste. After a very
short season of matrimonial bliss the
love of the plaintiff failed to longer be
reciprocated, and as result the bride is
now languishing under the sunny cline
of California during the winter months,
while the husband is left disconsolate
and alone by his own fireside, there to
nurse broken heart and mourn lost
affections. In this matter he has been
damaged to the amount of four times
$1,000 and has secured the services of
Attorneys Martin and Funson, of Ne
vada, to collect this sum for him.