Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-10-29
Ny Would Be Assassin.
BY NJ. QUAD.
COPYRIGHT, 1900, BIZ 6. D. LEWIS.

was to go up into the mountains OF
Wyoming on a hunting trip with old
Bill Potts, a dozen men called to bid
me a last goodby. They looked their
pity and sorrow, and their hands lin
gered lovingly in mine. I was rather
skeptica1. I didn't see why I should be
pulled down by a mountain lion, claw
ed into mince meat by a grizzly bear
or buried under a landslide, but they
smiled feebly and shook their heads
in a solemn way. Only one telegram
received out of eight or ten threw any
light on the matter, and the light came
too late. 1t read:
eff you are going hunting with old
Bill Potts, you'd better make your will
and leave things easy for the widowed
and fatherleSs."
The other kilograms simply read
that the senders would see that my
grave was kept green, if it could ever
be found, and that it was to be hoped
/ wouldn't suffer over a week in dying.
I liked old Bill. He was hale and
hearty and good natured, and he could
pack mule, cook a good meal and
shoot fairly straight. He was a smok-
er and a chewer, played a good game
of euchre, and 1 had every confidence
that the pair of us would get along
like brothers. We got away in good
style, and it was two full days before
anything happened to shake my con-
fidence in him. Then, as I sat cleaning
my rife, he picked up the ak to cut
some wood. He hadn't made six
strokes before the ak flew off the ham
die and almost shaved my hair as it
passed.
Excuse me, colonel" said old Bill
as he held up the handle. "That Ak
has bin loose for the last six months
and orter have bin fixed. I'll tend to
it the first rainy day we have"
"But, man, that was a close call for
me-" said as I felt my anger rising.
eyes, colonel, but as long as no dam
age was done it's all right. I kinder
thought it was goin to cut yer head
off, but it riz 1eetle and missed ye."
I figured that it was pure accident
and overlooked it. Next morning old
Bill found the trail of a lion near our
camp, and after breakfast we took 1t
up and started out. 1 had Winches-
ter, and he had a double barreled shot
gun loaded with buckshot. He took the
lead, and we had trailed for half
mile when I stumbled over a stone
and pitched forward. Potts was about
20 feet ahead of me, gun on his
shoulder and passing perfectly open
ground. AS I went down both barrels
of his gun were discharged, and my
hair curled as the handful of shot
shrieked over me and cut away half
~,
what is it? What were you shoot
ing atP' 1 shouted as I scrambled up,
half expecting the lion had got in our
rear and was stalking US.
eye see, colonel" replied old Potts,
with a sheepish look on his face, 81 al
lus carry my gun on the full cock, SOS
to save time, and I guess I must have
bin fingerin them hammers"
"You dolt! You idiot! You jackassr'
I yelled at him as 1 looked for a club.
eff 1 hadn't stumbled over that stone,
you'd have blown hole through me as
big as barrel"
Eyes, but We stumbled, and, bein as
no harm was done, 1 hope We won't get
mad about it. Why, SIGH things are
liable to happen every day."
/ told Potts that If ever caught him
carrying his gun in that shape again
I'd pump lead into his legs and leave
him to the wolves, and for the rest of
the day the relations between US were
strained. Under the influence of a
good supper and pipe we got closer
together, however, and by and by he |
went into the tent for the cards. He |
was fussing around for several min |
utes, and had just opened my mouth |
to ask him the cause of his delay when |
a bullet lifted the hat off my head and |
sent it ten feet behind me. l made
two jumps for a bowlder and yelled |
to Potts, thinking l had been fired on
by a renegade Indian, but when the
man came out with my self cooking re-
volver in his hand I knew what had !
happened.
"You blunderheadI You fool of a |
jackassp' 1 shouted as I made up to
him, but he backed off and protesting
ly explained:
Don't git narvous, colonel l had
never seen one of these self cookers
and was jest tryin it. I might have
p'inted it the other way, but I didn't
"No, you didn't, and the ball went
through my hat. Potts, you are a
fool. You don't know enough to chew
BEANS"
What a fuss to raise over a leetle
accident, and nobody hurt at that!
sighed Potts, and we spoke no more
together that evening. I made up my
mind before going to sleep that the
firm of Soft & Potts would dissolve
after breakfast by mutual consent or
otherwise, but he prepared such
good meal and seemed so downcast
and repentant that I found myself
melting. We had with us a humping