The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1900-09-13

your sterling manhood, she steps forth
in longer skirts to greet you. For some
time she has had good many nice fell.
lows coming to see her, and Seattle has
been looking on her with winning smiles
and now that she has become more
peachy than ever !. is entirely natural
that you should come over on Sunday
afternoon to call or her and that she
should receive you with open arms; and
also that you should ride out together 70
some Of the various trysiing places
round about and together talk over the
Old, old story of love.
And inasmuch as your acquaintance
has been Of reasonable duration and yonr
affection has grown sufficiently ardent,
there is no reason to delay the wedding
Besides, Won will both ''nlarry rich. !"
And being fully Satisfied that your com
partnership will prove a pleasant aud
happy one and that together your riches
will augment to greater fortunes, there
fore as one Of her (city) fathers am here
to give the bride away to you and bestow
upon you my blessing and benedicfion.
But, MIR. Bridegroom elect, | haye to
warn you, mark well; tnis consort you
are taking will require m any things from
you. Her demands will be many. She
will expect you not only to furnish all
her Christmas goods but all kinds of
goods at any and all times, both from
your stores and factories She knows
you have them and she'll demand her
share of them. At times she may become
a little extravagant; but in return, |
promise you, she will provide and set
before YOU both dainty and substantial
foods three times day, three hundred
and sixty five days in the year.
And III tell yon something more about
her: she'll always be fruitful. She'll
bring forth great li,ters every season
She believes in increase. She knows
the multiplication table and wants to
verify it she's of family OF that kind !;
she believes in expansion and so do you.
You, of the Bryan persuasion, don't
misunderstood me; Pm not talking poll
tics-I'm talking business.
I'll tell you something more-some-
thing of gossip I've heard about you
which believe to be true: understand
it is your purpose to court and wed other
towns-many of them round about you.
But we don't object to that kind of polyga
mists. Go ahead, there's no law against
that kind of polygamy. North Yakima
won't be jealous; she may strive to be
lIsl III your dutCtlOuS, Uut suo WOu Ue
enyious. She'll take her chance among
others of being next TO you. AS you
have already observed she has many
good husbandmen round about her that
she thinks good deal OF.
But | want to tell you secret; want
to caution you; You will need to treat
her well, as no doubt you will, for ii yon
don't these other fellows who have
been counting her will slip in and at
tempt to steal her away from you; she's
going to do business with somebody.
Business men of Seattle: North Yak
ina greatly and profoundly appreciates
this your kindly visit to her precincts
We are proud of you as our guests and
more than pleased to entertain you.
May this suspicious event mark the be-
ginning of still better days and rebound to
the continuing and amending building up
of our mutual welfare. We thank you
for your presence among us and trust
you will come again and again.