The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1900-05-23
CHATS AND SKETCHES
About Town and Elsewhere.

Sentence to be used in closing the
sessions OF the city council, "with
slow curtain" and soft music: "Har-
mony is the strength and support of
all societies, more especially this Of
owSP
A learned professor was in railway
car whose only other occupants were
couple of giddy girls who seemed to
find much fun in quizzing their learned
companion. Determined to punish
them for their impertinence, he waited
till the train was passing into long
tunnel, when taking advantage of the
darkness, he gave two rounding kisses
on the back of his own hand. The re-
turning light Of the open air revealed
the mutual suspicious of the two ladies
between whom there was an obvious
GOODNESS for the rest of the journey.
Arrived at his destination the profess
sor slighted, bat before doing 80, told
his fair companions that he did not
not know to whom he was indebted for
the kisses in the tunnel, but he could
assure them that he should always re.
gard it as the one bright incident in a
long dull journey.
-.
"Oh would were bird7" she sang,
Aud each disguised one
Thought to himself q wicked thought:
"Oh would / were gunl"
-.
Show me all the dresses a lady has
worn during her life, and l will write
you her biography.
An illiterate preacher at a dinner
table boosted that the Lord had opened
his mouth to preach without sending
him to college first. "Indeed," replied
curate who was present, show very
Interestingly A similar event hap
pened in Balaam's timel"
Said Cockney tourist to a Scotch
lassie whom he met walking barefoot
to Glasgow, "Do people in these parts
all 60 barefoot" "Pairtley they do"
said the girl, sam the rest o. them
min their own business"
1t was not one of the young men
who hold revival services at the Jail
who began his remarks thus: 81 am
much pleased at seeing such goodly
number present"
At dinner at the table of Rev. Mr..
Pease, (afterward Dean of Ely the
subject of conversation happened to be
that of an extraordinary mortality
among lawyers, "We have lost" said
gentleman, "no less than six emil
nent lawyers in as many months"
The Dean, who was quite deaf, rose
just then and said grace, For this
and every other mercy, the Lords
name be praisedl"
~.
The Rev. DIR. g. had never
taken vacation. At last he determine
ed to follow the prevailing custom, and
engaged the Rev. Mr.. B. of Haddam
to take b is place during his absence. Be-
ing full of anticipation of an unaccus-
toned pleasure, he announced the Cos
pei: "The holy gospel is written in
the twelfth chapter according to St.
John beginning at the 4th verse;"
And then instead of reading it, he gave
notice: my dear brethren; purpose
to take vacation during the month of
August, and the Rev. Mr.. b
will supply my place" Upon which
the congregation rose and "said or
sung, "Glory be to Thee, o Lord"
-"
What beautiful Park we have in
Haymarket Squared Why not make it
dumping-ground and have done with
it? 1t is 80 central and handy!
-.
Artemus Ward was once travelling on
slow-going Southern road soon after
the war. When the conductor was
punching his ticket Artemus remarked,
''Does this company allow passengers
to give it advice, If they do 80 in re-
spectful manner?" 81 guess So" said
the conductor, in his gruffest tone.
"Well," said Artemus, sit occurred to
me it would be we'll to detach the cow
catcher from the front of the engine,
and hitch it to the rear of the train.
For, you see, we are not liable to over