West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1900-02-01
B0wsER's TRIBULATlONs.
He Attempts 20 Post Mrs. Bowser and as
Usual Gets Left.


sers had settled down for quiet evening,
when Mr.. Bowser suddenly remembered
something and remarked:
"Nou know, was over TO sec Dawson
the other evening l had TO wait about
half an hour for him. and during the inter
val talked with Mrs. DAWSON. I was more
than surprised TO find how we'll informed she
was. DAWSON ought to feel proud of her.
al suppose he does" replied Mrs. Bow
ser.
''lt's wonder to me that all women don't
so at it and inform themselves" continued
Mr. Bowser as he laid aside his newspaper.
.'MoSt of the women know arc about as
well posted on general affairs as the men"
"What an assertion--ha ha ha : Most
women know the title of the last love.sick
novel, the latest style of hats and who is
going to get married next, but az for know
ledge of current events they haven't got as
much as cat. However, as the Lord made
'em tha, way, it's all right"
"Why don't you give me a few pointers
on current events p' observed Ms. Bowser
after minute of silence.
"lIey DO you mean that p asked MIR.
Bowser as he looked at her over the top Of
his spec,acles.
"of course. shall be gald to receive
knowledge"
"Well, " he said, little puzzled over her
attitude, 'the Philippine question is one
which concerns everybody. Perhaps you
have heard of il %
~ have. Anything you'd like to ask me
about il ?"
~ question or two. Where are the is
lands 1'
"Norh of Bornso, in the China sea-"
81 thought you'd trip up on the very first
question, and you have. Mrs. Bowser, il
gives me pleasure to inform you that the
Philippine islands are situated between the
Cape of Good Hope and--and--and let's
see Between the Cape of Good Hope and
Australia. See if you can remember that
for FIVE minutes"
~ don't want TO remember that" she
replied. "rhe Philippines are where To-
Gated them. You are thinking of Madagas-
car"
''What You dispute me - exclaimed
Mr. Bowser as he removed his spcc,acles and
rose up.
'I'll show you a map"
"Aiap be hanged What know know
The idea of your dispuung me on a point
like this !"
"liere's an atlas and here's map" said
Mrs. Bowscr as she took the book from
shelf. "IIere is the China sea--hcre arc
the Philippines. Up here you see Japan
down here is Bomeo. Who is right 2'
woman, don't try TO bluff me with any
old map because it won't work. I'm going
by what know-not by any Tomfool busi-
ness That's always the way with you
when try to teach you anything"
"Wcll, never mind, :" she replied as she
put the book away. "You know the name
of the principal island, of course ?"
Certainly do, and for your personal
benefit | will state that it is Manila. You'd
better write it down before it escapes your
memory"
'fou mean that Manila is the principal
city"
"No, don't. When say island don't
mean city"
'But Manila is a city, Mr. Bowser and the
principal island IS Luzon."
"What What shouted Mr.. Bowser as
he jumped clear Of the floor. "You dispute
me You try TO correct my geography (!
Woman, don't you go too fart If you are
honest in your ignorance ! can bear with
you, but don'ttry TO bluff your way through"
"Geography says that the chief island is
Luzon, and that Manila is the capital city,"
quietly replied Mrs. Bowser
'Aud what is geography to me ?" almost
howled Mr. Bowser as he kicked the cat
across the room. because geography
states that Ohio is in Russia does it make
itso2 say that Manila is the principal IS.
land, and I'll bet million dollars to a cent
on it,
Mrs. Bowser let him walk around and
scuG and snuff and cool off bit, and then
quietly asked
GLOW do you spell Philippines 2"
"The same as anybody else with sense in
I his head, sulkily replied Mr.. Bowser.
THAT is, you put two p's in the word ?"
THAT is. don't do any such thing Any
school boy will tell you that it is spelled
with two Us and one p. You'd better get
ou, your spelling book before you 20 into
war or politics"
'Tbe geography and the newspapers give
one I add two p's"
WHAT DspuGng me again Mrs.
/ Bowscr this is too much--to much II you
arc trying 20 make out that I'm fool why
don't you say SO and done with it2"
"But look for yourself
"Ncycri Never What do care how
they spell the name ] say that there arc
two 3 10 it, and that settles IT, When YOU
asked mc 20 post you up on current events !
kuew you simply wanted TO pick fuss and
spoil my evening. Mrs. Bowscr-"
"Aud how do you spell Manila ?" she in.
iesmp;ed.
''How do ! spell Manila" he repeated, o..
hc tried 20 freeze the blood in her veins by
au icy glare. ~ might ask you how to
spsll cat or dog, bnl 7 don't want 90 embar.