The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1900-03-17
BOB WRITES FROM HELL.
HAS Met Old Stagers in His Warm
Abode and Having a Good Time.

New York. Sam Jones inadver
tently told the truth, for just a
he predicted and / secretly ex
pected. / am in Hades, cam'
straight through on a flyer with
out stop. lam sitting on ciAder
writing this letter on u piece Of
slate gorged from the ceiling with
my trident. A trident, you know
is one of those funny looking lit
tie pitch forks, like Neptune used
to carry about at the seaside.
Everybody has one and 1t makes
a fellow feel like he's at a Popu-
list convention.
When | was on earth | didn't
belive in hell, for l had travelled
IN Kansas and didn't think there
could be two places SO much alike.
But hadn't been here halt day
before l believed in a whole lot.
1t is a much more genuine and
realistic place than / had antlci-
pated, but | think I'll like 1T when
| get acclimated. Just now my
feet are blistered from walking on
the hot pavements, and | am dab
bling them in the river to cool
them off. | was talking to Moses
a while ago, he says they will
soon get calloused and then I'll be
all hunkadory. He has read my
of Moses and laughingly |
admit ed that he made a good
many when he was new in the bust
less. He is a joval old cuss, and
'ather like him. He told me on
he housekeeping is on the
lead here--that he did not write
he Pentateuch, but he knows
Who did.
There are lots of people here
nd strangers arrive daily. But |
fouid advise you not to come
own until fall or winter and even
zen you needn't bring anything
ut a light summer suit. You 8
ont need an overcoat, umbrella :
r skates, but you might bring
palm leaf fan or two. For an
imaginary, " mythical, "fgur- .
i've" Categorical" and ''unor- y
ordox" hell, this is about the A
'ttest one ever got into. But II
y! / got here just in time to ii
'ide a snap. Henry Ward 60
'echer had just been retired on ri
count of age and Mephistopheles A,
pointed me to succeed him as o., on
SIS of the New York colony, the Tie
gest one here. | have lovely L.
" trident with cute little speal cor
nts. and the devil has promised for for
get me long red tail and -
r OF horns like his when he
IS to the city next week. He =
ms to have taken fancy tome F
here are ministers here of all ne
o limitations, ard several camp He,
'tings are in progress down - -
river. Horace Greedy intro
ed me to Sturgeon and old imp
er Cartright, and we had a ~
y pleasant little lark together {.
y expect Talmage to join them k Kser
re long. | have also shaken wha
is with Thomas Payne and
Ealre and they seem to be very
SAINT gentleman, said thew ?
watched my career for some Y
and were expecting me daiiy
Franklin called on me this Sc
hing. He is wearing his hair T,
and has stopped inventing -
IS He is forming a stock
AMY for the manufacture of
vi course the trust is down -
Old Solomon and Bingham
e have all the women CON Feed n
d, The politicians are Or
ing to defeat the present adj -
'tration and elect new devil.
want me to make the nom
@ speech. You know Inom- Station
1 Blame for president once iOu"u
Id 1t up in shape. Don't -
who will be the nominee
ould is running well on ac-
~ ~: az Palante
VI his money, and ,JudaS Miss2ssi
a al DeSoto
II, l wish you could send
papers, l would like to
vbo+ T. w HAWK
Al -, '(' VI ilio' l. Cotton
g Lney III print q lot Of NV consignr
5ers and publish enough let H lRI
me to start roo.,o, Cot
AoSue gal on consil