Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-27

/ HEAhO Or
| want to keep it to hit the crowd with
| tonight l want the biggest, bUstincst
| crowd to gather here tonight that the
| town of Jericho has ever. seen. Give
| every man notice as he drops II today,
and along about = o'clock I'll hev the
| fire bells rung and the horns footed
Tell 'em it's big thing. pap; tell 'em
! it's Sunthin that's bound to jump this
| town over 4 ten rail fence and make
city lots with a thousand dollars
apiece
There was good deal of excitement
around town that afternoon, and when
night came the crowd at the pcstotIice
was as big as the time when war WAS
declared ne'in Spain. Most of EN-
thought Bill Lapham was goin to de-
Clar war aG'in Mexico or Canada, and
everybody was lookin pale when Doa-
con Spooner called the meetin to order
and said:
''Sons of freedom, we hcv gathered
here tonight to hear some remarks
from our esteemed Teller townsman,
William Lapham. and we kin take il
that them remarks Will go beyand
geese and Goslin's. Make your pint,
Bill"
My pint is this" says Bill as he
draws Il long breath and steps out TO
git room. We ar now in the midst
of the turmoil of a political cam
paigu. Somebody is goin to be elected.
l amt sayin who it'll be, but rhe gold
en- opportunity fur which Jericho has
sighed is at hand. When the newly
elected official takes the oath of of.
10 To fro
That's k'rcct," says Deacon Spooner
as Bill puuses fur breath. The speak
cr amt through Wit, but he's made Il
pint already: When he refers to the
turmoil OF campaign, it's not only high
flown language, but a strong pint. Go
ahead. Bill"
That escort will not only do the pres
ident proud continued Bill. but
every man in It viii be mentioned by
all the papers in the United States.
They'll speak of his wife and children
and town and home and he'll be big
man fur the rest of his life. He kin be
elected sheriff without opposition, and
If any one runs ag'in him fur the legis-
lature they'll be showed under. What
I'm here tonight fur Is to ask the Ques-
tons: Why not organize the Jericho
Guards? And why shouldn't the
Jericho Guards be that escort?"
There was yellin and whoopin fur
the next five minits. but when the dea-
con could make himself heard he said:
Its pint, gentlemen-six or seven
p'ints. I've read all the speeches ever
delivered by Henry Clay or Daniel
Webster. and both of 'cm put together
never made the p'ints our Bill Lapham
has. Bein l hey the floor. I'll say l
favor the idea. Yes, sir, I'm with 1t
heart and soul. l want my name to
go down fust fur the Jericho Guards,
and I'm even willin TO sacrifice myself
and be captain of the company. S'posin
we hear from Abner Jones on the sub
ject"
Il s'pose it's known in this town that
my great grandfather was killed at the
battle OF Monmouth" says Abner as
he gets off the counter. though l amt
braggin about it. I'll jest say that
I'm willin To die fur my country any
time I'm called upon. and if I'm elected
captain of the Jericho Guards I'll
promise that no invader shall set foot
on these shores and live for FIVE min
its"
''Thar's pint in that" says the dea-
con as he looks bit put out. when
a mans willin 10 die fur his country,
that's pint in his favor. but Of course |
we want To hear from other patriots. |
How is II with you, Moses Plumber
Does any man here doubt that In t!
willin to die fur America g asks Moses j
As he draws himself up. My great
grandfather didn't die at Monmouth, '
but the blood of them seven uncles Of |
mine that fell durin the civil war flCws
In my veins, and my watchwOrd Is