The daily sentinel., 1900-08-11

SeQti7el S1ortoakes.


There was young man named Sig,
His moustache WAS not 80 big,
He gave it .twirl
And now his best girl
Tells him to GO wear a wig,
Telluride boasts Of a horseless carriage
propelled by mules.
Aspen has a new up-tod date broad
gauge editorial journal, just like those in
cities.
1t is wise man who has got sence
enough to stay down town when his wife
is engaged in housecleaning.
When a man wants coffee for dinner
and his wife wants tea they generally
compromise by having tea.
Judging from the number Of kids in
town melon raising would never pay
around this part of the country.
Things have come to a pretty pass
when person can neither be born or
die in peace without q special permit.
STUDIED SWEETNESS.
When man woes a girl, let him not base
his choice
On opinions inspired by her telephone
voice -Gazoot.
1t would be interesting to know just
how much that travelling spectacle fakir
did the Montrose Press man up for any.
way.
Mrs. Rorer says "pies have no virtues"
but we have encountered pies that re-
quired the aid Of vice to be success
fully manipulated,
Candidate Wolley, they say, is looking
for crew of prohibitionists to manage
that special, and also il possible, an en-
gine that does net smoke.
Grand Junction expects to be so hos
pitable during Peach Day, that the only
offense people will BIZ arrested for is
that Of not walking on the grass.
The day will no doubt come when the
bust of the first shirt-waist martyr will
adorn our public parks along with those
of other heroes OF great conflicts.
They say bolt of Tightening recent
ly cured a Caapan, Maine, man OF rheu-
matism, but no particulars are mention
ed asregards the funeral arrangements.
RECEPTION La MODE.
The poet in fine frenzy strobe,
Composing beautiful ode;
| He climbed the long stair
To the EDITORS lair,
And few moments later it snode.
-Gazoot.
Fifty-thrse people, heretofore bear
ing untarnished regulations, claim to
have "seen" sea serpent of the coast
of Whitestone, L. l., the other day all at
once. Where is the w. G, T. U. any
way?
A Chicago man got tired Of whiting
for shave and stabbed q man who was
in the chair; local BARRIERS should take
steps that nothing Of this kind shall
occur here on account OF a rush of
business.
Through the operation Of the divorce
courts a Chicago lady named Mrs. Peter
Weber had her maiden name, Weroni
NO IN AoOAy DoWiSAhb iOoeoAoNS "hN nv"
she is sorry she did it. Some people
are never satisfied.
LOVE, THE BEsIEGER.
His heart was a ID Dated castle,
But that did not work at all,
For she was girl athlete,
And she neatly scaled the wall,
-Gazoot.
Over in Salt Lake some miscreant ia
making speciality of stealing chickens
and ducks with Regularity that makes
it monotinous." A chicken thief is bad
enough but man who will steal ducks
is something fierce.
1t is reported that the Princess Of
Wales is allowed $4,000 a year "pin"
money. Using pins as basis, to figure
from there is girl here in Grand
Junction who could get along on 100000
year for chewing gum.
The man ~ who edits the Glenwood
Avalanche calls for free Contributions on
"how to run newspaper" and il may
be assumed that the foxy subscriber
will not furnish him the much needed
= l. ,ta ha