The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-03-21

daggers at her husband.-Judge.
May / offer you tract9'
The speaker was mild, benevolent
looking l4an, considerably past the mid
die age.
Il suppose you may" replied the elderly
citizen, whom he had addressed, but
don't believe can use it in my business
II can think Of no occupation, my
friend, that should be beyond reach of
those influences that tend to lead men to
a better life. II you are following an
unrigLteous calling there is all the more
need of such influences. May l ask what
your business is?'
My business, sir, is as respectable as
time, SIT" responded the other. with evil
dent pride, Il have taught eighty-tlree
mandolin orchestras.'
And you boast of it, exclaimed the
man with the tracts. passing his hand
tremblingly across his forehead. MY
friend. IL have nothing in my valise
fear, that can reach YOU
And he walked away, dazed.- Boston
Globe.
Are your sure she is as gentle and
patient and amiable as she seems? p
asked the friend. *Not quite sure" an
Swered the young man. who is in love,
hut I'm going to find out" How"
I'm going to get her to call somebody
up over a long-distance telephone and
then watch her. ashington Star.
Il say. mammal said Charlie, who
was watching his mamma battle the new
girl baby, what would happen if you
would put her in the bathtub and go
away off and leave her to wash her own
self, like me?"
I'm afraid said mamma. that little
sister would get water in her mouth and
drown" @
@''Would it fill her all up full of water
so she couldn't howl no more!' inquired
Charlie.
Yes, I'm afraid it would said mann
ma, pleased with the interest Charlie was
taking i'll his sisters welfare.
Il say. num-, exclaimed Charlie en-
Enthusiastically. ''let's put her in right
away. Providence Telegram.
Reception Music: ''Shall I sing or
play, Mr. Boredhost?'' "Oh, il doesn't
matter, Miss Blimnl-w whichever you
think you can do without interrupting
the flow of conversation. Detroit Free
Press.
There is a man who fancies he is the
head of his house. This particular man
has several small children, and it pleases
him to discourse a great deal on the
training of children. A few days ago
he had friends visiting him. His two
little boys began to play about noisily
1t is one OF his theories that children
should obey implicitly. He wanted to
let his friends see how he carried it out
in the training of his own children
johnny" he said sternly, "stop that
noise instantly" Johnny looked up in
surprise, then .grinned a little. 'Oh,
Freddie he said to his brother as they
went on with the noise, lust hear papa
trying to talk like mamma
AT the Jacksons' last evening / upset
a glass of champagne all over Tom
Blinks' dress suit Ruined it, | sup
pose?' WHY, of course. Dress suits
don't help champagne little bit'-Har-
lem Life.
Years Not Miles Keller weren't
you surprised to learn that old Mrs.
Centuary had survived a century, or had
you heard Of it?'s Wheeler. That's
news. to me. | didn't even know she
rode"
What s,. Mamie crying for?" ''She
wants to vote when she grows up.,
Wei. what's she crying about? Maybe
she can vote. all right Yes. but little
Tommie Stickelbat says he won'- marry
a ,strangminded girl. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
5.-.'T should not think such a prominent
man would care to have cheap cigar
named after him. why not? He likes
to have his name in everybody's mouth"
Life