The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-01-10
vlcToRIA's TROUBLES.
pa Knows All About Them And Tells
His Son.

That's WHARF Bein quean Has its
Disadvantage, paw sed yisterdy mite
after He kicked the pupp out the Back
Door fer chewin up the parler curtens.
"Whare?" nav asst.
Look at VIII He'll Meeny," paw
says If she wasen't no quean she
mite Have a Bow TO come around
Every mite and Stay fer Dinner on
Sundys like other gurls, and they
could Set in the parler with the lites
out after the Rest of the Folks Had
went to Bed and Talk about the War
in Africky and the Alasky boundary
and expanshun and all them kind OF
Things and Thay wouldn't be nobuddy
But her muther lisenen at the key
Hole But bein quean she can't
Have none of them Kind of pleasures.
She Has to Do all Her Luv maxim Out
in the Open whares the Ministers OF
State kin keep watch. It's Good
Deal Like If | was goin'to BY Horse.
| would go Down to the Horse market
and thay would bring out the Horses
thay Had in Stock and | would Look
Them over and axamun thare Teath
to See if emmy of Them would Do.
That's the way the Quean Hast to find
a Husbend. | spose you red about
Her Coin to Germunny to Hunt one,
Diden't your
NO" nav says. q Bin too Bizzy
putin up peaches TO keep track of all
Them affares. What's Happened so
fur?''
Well Pa told Her. She amt had
mulch Luck yit. When she Got thare
they were a Lot CT princes on Hand.
But they was Sumthing the matter
with neerly all OF Them. One was
Loosen his Hare and One had fits. and
anuther Didn't Have no Grammer, and
the next one Didn't Have a manly
chest what She oculd lean on in Times
of truhble, and So when She Looked
Them over she Shook her he'd aad
sed: No, nav, none of these Boys
Can sine with me. Beeoz thare Batten
averidges amt emmy good
The hole trubble" paw says, is
That the Quean has a Teller picked
out what she wants. and her Folks is
agin Him."
who is that?" nav asst.
Its the Prince of Weeds, paw told
/ Her His fawther is a Justice OF the
piece in Sum Township Over thare,
But thay can't afford to keep only one
Curl so thay amt in Hi society"
Well the Quean has plenty of
! mummy, and could give Him sum kind
of Q political Job WHARF He could
Have a Good Sallery and Go Huntin
and Fishen whenever He wanted to,
couldn't she?' nav asst
oh, yes paw says, But you see
Thay always Haft to Keep Thinkin
about Future generasshuns over in
Them Countries. The Quean, poor
Curl, knows she Hast TO Be a muther
sum Day, and it Would Be turrable
Hewmillyaten for Her to Haft to tell
Her oldest Boy when she was Bringin
Him up to be King that his fayther
was Some cheap skait without the
Rite Brand of blud in His vains, that
she married jist Becoz he was gen
telmun and a skoller What anser
could she Give the poor i. when he
Burst into teers and asst Why she rong.
ed Him that way BY not Takin
Prince of the Bud to Be his fawther
even If He did were a number five Hat
and calld all the addresses around
the eort Theater hi thare front
| Nance"
My | don't no. NAV says
NO You Bet you don't" paw told
Her. You Don't no nawthin that
you always OF to keep posted about
Wimmin would Be Fine people to Go
out and vote, Woulden't thay Chit
cago Times-Iierald.