davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-03-05
VASHyRGTON LE9 TER.
pE,,.L cosH,.sp,,> nxuoz OF rHn roslros.l
Washington, Fec. 26th, 1900.

Washington, Fec. 26th, 1900.
The finance bill agre ed upon by the
house and senate conference commit
tee, which win probably become law
without further change, is considered
a stronger measure than was either
the house or senate bill. There was
at no time during the conference any
difference between the republican
conferees as to the object sought-to
give the u. S. the best financial sYs-
tenn and the highest credit; the weeks
discussion was on how best to accom-
plish that. and the result is success,
and an Improvement upon the bills as
passed by the two branches Of con-
gress. Senator Aldrich will, on
Wednesday, Of this week, make
detailed statement of the work of the
conferees, explaining why changes
were MADE, and on Thursday the SEN
ate will vote on the report, which will
be adopted by the same vote that
passed the finance bill ten days ago.
The republican members Of the
House have held two conferences on
the Porto Rican tariff bill, and as
consequence, the bill will b eamended
slightly before being passed.
The most significant feature Of the
meeting of the democratic national
committee, in Washington, was the
power exercised by ex-senator Cor
man. 1t was his influence that knock
ed ont the plan, fathered by MIR. Bryan,
of holding tho democratic convention
in advance of the republican conven-
ion, and it was also his influence, that
caused Kansas City to be chosen after
Milwaukee seemed to have a cinch.
Mr.. Germans powerful and unexpect-
ed influence in the committee is not
re lished by the Bryan worshippers
He has publicly said that he would
support Mr.. Bryan il he was nominal
ed, but he has not said that he will
help get him nominated. Mr.. German
is one of the slickest and most slip
perry politicians in the country, and
there is very little doubt that he will
keep Mr.. Bryan out of the nomination,
If he can f1Dd a way 10 do it.
When the centennial committee,
of states and prominent citizens of
Washing ton, which is charged with
arranging for the celebration of the
one hundredth anniversary of the |
esta blishment Of the seat of govern |
ment at Washington, endorsed the |
re fc
hue from the capitol to the proposed |
Memorial Bridge to Arlington, across
the Mall, upon which all future gov
eminent buildings shall be erected, it !
a knock down blow to |
the scheme for unloading the south /
side of Pe npsylvaDia Avenue on the
as sites for public build
ings. The Mall already belongs to
the government
Elk Senator Edmunda put 2 quick
stop 10 the report that he would join
The SO called anti impe1ialists in sup
porting Bryan, by saying, :'I5 is absurd
10 think 1 wouid vote for Bryan under
any circumstances. ] agree with Sen
atOr Hoar that however much we may
1iffer with w bat seems to be the re-
publican Philippine policy, it will be
impossible to support Bryan. He
stands for 50 many things that are
antagonistir to republican principles
that would trust my own party be-
fore I~would join him. We must take
he average Of things and not be in
finer pe r hv 3 single fact },
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-03-05
General News Items

The greatest fire Newark, NJ, ever
experienced swept through the retail
dry goods district last Tuesday night,
destroying a score or more buildings.
The loss is estimated at over $1,000,-
000 Several lives were lost and sew
er&I persons were badly burned.
The rapidly growing casualty lists
in the British army are being CLASH
fed as quickly as possible. They
show the total number of casualties as
IL, 834. Of which 2,319 were added dur
ing the last fortnight. Ten Of the eleven
Scotch regiments lost about 2050 men
and eight Of the Irish regiments 1000.
Then come the GlOucesters and North
umbe rlands, while of nearly 200 colo
malls the royal Canadians lost 121 and
the Victoria mounted contingent 26.
Th=5 casualties are classified thus:
Killed, 1898; wounded, 6838; missing,
3173; disease, $50.
Ignoring Berlin, London, Paris and
other European banking centers, the
Russian Imperial government has
come to New York fer loan. a syn
dictate Of financial institutions of this
city-banks, trust companies and in
surance mpanies-have just ar
ranged for the purchase of an issue of
$25 COO, 600 Of per cent bonds, repre-
sentiDg first mortgage on the Wlad-
ikaWizas railway system. The princi-
pal and interest Of these bonds is
guaranteed by the Russian govern
ment and is payable in American gold
dollars. The nature and size of this
loan and the disclosure which it makes
of this country's present position as a
financial power Of the world is its
most interesting feature.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-03-05
PROBATE BUSINESS.

The following business was transacte d
Oscar E.Collins' estate, Newport. Frank
E. Miles appointed administrator; A. @.
Sleeper and Frank Wheelock, appraisers
and commissioners.
Geo. FL. Wilson minors, Troy. Guardian
applies for license to sell certain real estate.
Referred to March 10, 1900.
Charles Ell. Buck estate, Troy. Commits
sioners report returned and accepted.
n. G. Hoyt estate, Westfeld. License
granted to sell real estate. Administrator
settles his account. Assignment of home
stead to widow.
Betsey Elizabeth Blake estate, Derby.
z. q. Blake appointed administrator with
will annexed. S. M. Davis and M. A.
Adams, appraisers and Commissioners.
George Breer, Newport. Adopted by
William G. and Effie A. Lockhart.
Andrew Gray estate, Bloomington. APP
praisers' inventory returned and accepted.
Margaret Nichols estate, Bloomington.
Appraisers inventory returned and ac-
cepted.
Thomas II. Hoskins and M. Agatha Hos
kins, Derby. Petition for appointment of
guardian filed. Referred to March II, next.
Jane Brigham, non compos, Lowell.
Guardians inventory returned and ac-
cepted.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-03-05

My pudding hasn't turned out we'll
today, madam! Never mind, Katie,
I'll tell my husband that I made it.
Very well, madam; he'll think you
are improving in cooking.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-03-05
State News Items.

Percival ", Clement has bought the
Bennington and Rutland railroad for
the purpose, it is understood, Of con-
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-03-05

Our guarantee is like a Bank
J Check-if your purchase does
} not suit you, bring back the
lgoods and draw your money.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-10-11
BUD ON THE ROAD.

stranger. I didn't leave a cent
behind, kos I'm goin' to see some
of the world afore [ get back to
these parts again"
"Now, Bud, I will tell you what
you had better do. You wait till
we get to the next watering place
and when they stop for water you
jump off and get bit of cheese
and crackers and then we will be
all right until we reach Chicago"
''Say, mister, that's all right, but
sposin [ can't find my way back
to this car and we will be in a
dickens of mess, kos it's darned
hard walkin' on one of these car
tracks"
"Never mind about that, old
boy. [ will see that [ do not lose
you for while, I want to take
you around tomorrow and show
you around the city,
"Say, mister, have you been on
the road long?"
"Well Bud [ will tell you the
truth. L have been in every city
in the country, and if you stay
with me and do the square thing
with that coin, [ will show you
the world. Now is that a bar
gain?"
"Well, stranger, I hain't got
much, but when that is gone
mabee we kin go out and doctor
some COWS and make some money
that way"
'That's what's the matter, old
boy: You will be all right in
short time
"Say what in the dickens is
your name any way?"
"Any old thing suits me. Come
we must hurry up and plant be-
fore the shack gets next to u.s.
"Say, what's that you said about
plantin'? Say [ jist dug all the
turnips afore I left docs place.
"Come, hurry old boy, get in
here, shut the door,
"Gee whizz we was jist in time"
Eyes we are off for Chicago"
Roxy.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-10-11
-:AGENTS WANTED:-

Every agent realizes the import
ance of handsomely bound, finely
illustrated. and extremely popular
book at the price of one dollar.
Forty thousand copies of ''The
Conquest of Poverty sold in the
paper binding within three months
of coming out. Then there came
a constant demand for the volume
bound in cloth, so we bound it and
illustrated it with scenes from our
beautiful home surroundings.
Send 60 cents for a sample copy of
the book, cloth bound, and instruc-
tons Glow to Work A County
Successfully
Mrs. Helen Wilmans.
Sea Breeze, Florida.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-10-11
A&EE7EE30 90
81
STORYETTES.

Captain Gable included among
his cargo couple of gallon jars of
fine brandy. Incidently he also
included a remarkable smart and
intelligent cabin boy.
The worthy captain had deep
rooted aversion to the convenient
curiosity Of the revenue officers -
in short, he desired to land his
brandy without their aid
Upon berthing his ship along
side the key plank was pushed
on the jetty and as soon as the
patrol came within a few yards
the cabin boy, carrying the jars,
stepped on shore and was i'm
mediately accosted by the customs
officer, the following dialogue en-
suing:
"Well, my lad, what have you
there?'
Cant tell you, sir
But you must
"Cap'n said I wasn't to, SIR
ooh! I'm a customs house Off
Ger, boy; and if you don't tell me
what you have there l shall call
that patrol over yonder and have
you arrested"
"Well, sir, cap'n III kill me if he
knows; but he said I was to take
the jars to Mr." mentioning
the officers name. mo. IL B
street, with his compliments"
ooh, yes; I see, my lad, it's all
right. I am Mr.. B and here's
half a crown for you; and, see, go
out this way" showing the boy a
private exit to the public road.
Strangely enough, the customs
officer is still awaiting the advent
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-10-11
: Written for The Prison Mirror.

Written for The PRISON Mirror.
"Well, we'll, it does beat the
dickens what Teller will do these
days. Here l am way out here
bout forty miles from home and l
don't know darn cuss in the
whole town. But say it's picnic
ridin' on the cars. Gee whizz!
but teller does go flynn when
the cars gets to goin' once, but it's
so darn lonesome ridin' all alone.
cSorter reckon I kin find a good
sort of Teller to go along with
me. Cess I'll tackle this Teller
over here he looks like he is goin'
some place"
"Say, mister, how far be you
goin' any way?"
"Well, my friend, that all de-
ponds on circumstances. Ii the
shack don't get next to me 1 will
be rambling about the streets Of
Chicago in the morning. See?
Say, Gully, which way are you
goin'?''
"Well [ sorter reckon I am 60
in to Chicago, too. Say what's
the matter of us fellers goin' to-
gether? It's gol darn lonesome
ridin' on the cars all alone"
"Say you just blowed in from
the country, didn't your
yep, I was workin' over on
Doc Browns place. I'm a COW
doctor, [ am
"Well say how are you fixed for
coin? Have you got two bits
about you?"
Nope; I used to have one when
] owned thot old boss of mine, but
I let the whole darn bisness go
together when [ traded him off. "
well, Rhuben old boy, guess
you do not understand.
''Say my name is Bud
well, old boy, that is pretty
good name; but you thought [
wanted bit for a bride. You
see when you are on the road
twenty-five cents is called two bits.
Now have you got twenty -fve?'''
''Your gol darn right [ have,
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-10-11

The crOss-examiner was smart
man, whose object was to discon-
cert the witness and discredit his
testimony.
"What did you say your name
was?' was the first question.
"Michael Doherty.'
"Michael Doherty, Ell? Now,
Doherty, answer me this question
carefully: Are you married man,"
"Oi think so; Oh was married"
$50 you think because you got
married that you are married
man, do you? Now tell me whom
you married?"
"Who Oh married? Oh married
a woman"
"Now don't you know better
than to trife with the court? Of
course you married woman; did
you ever hear of any one marrying
a man."
"Yis. Me sisther did. It'd
Bits.
Two Of a bulldogs teeth were
crowned with gold in Chicago re-
Gently. There were times in the
olden sparkling days when some
of us would have preferred to have
seen the teeth of such animals
crowned with soft rubber rather
than with precious metal. Den
yer Post.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-10-11
FUN, FICTION AND
A FEW
FARCICAL FACTS.

OF the boy and the brandy.-Lon-
don Tid-Bits.
A certain lawyer who was a
candidate for a municipal Office
went out canvassing one day, and
knocked at cottage door. The
door was opened by woman.
els your husband in. Mrs.-?'
inquired the lawyer.
'No, sir" was the reply; "but [
know what you want. My husband
is sure to vote for you because you
got him off for stealing that ham
last week.
"No, no; alleged stealing of the
ham, corrected the lawyer.
Alleged be blowed!' was the
woman's smiling reply. ''We've
got bit of it left still. Lemme
give you sandwich out of it sir
-Waverly Magazine.
''It's all right, Mary he said,
pleasantly. "Go into politics if
you want to. But remember one
thing-that cartoonist IL be after
you as soon as you're candidate. .
II don't care"
"And they'll put your picture in
the paper with your hair out of
curl and your hat on crooked"
EDO you think they would do
that?'' she inquired apprehensively
"Of course. And they'll make
your Paris gowns look like calico
and say that your sealskin coat is
imitation
William" she said, after q
thoughtful pause, Il think I'll stay
here and make our home happy"
Tid-Bits.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-10-11
Do You Want Real Enjoyment

Then send five cents for sample
copy of the ''Humorist," in St.
Louis, Mo. You will become
subscriber if you read one. Adj
dress: s'Humorist," st. Louis, Mo-,
enclosing five cents.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-10-11
LORD RUSSELpS HATRED|
OF THE BOER WAR.


darkened by the shadow of ma
tional crime which has fallen
athwart our unhappy land. He
was not merely lord chief justice
in name; there was in him, from
his boyhood, an ineradicable love
of justice especially of national
Justice. And it was to him mat
ter of grief and illrepressed indig-
nation that the country in which
he was the foremost representa-
tive Of justice should have become,
in the eyes of all men, the most
conspicuous representative of in
justice. His high Office sealed his
lips. He could not publicly de-
nounce the infamy of the pretexts
by which sophistical press had
glozed over the essential villainy
of the war now being waged in
South Africa. But to those
to whom he could speak
without the reserve imposed by
high station, he expressed himself
with a passion of noble wrath
against shameless crime in terms
which bore eloquent testimony at
once to his generous enthusiasm
and his unerring judgment.-From
"a Great Lawyer and His Career:
A Character Sketch of the Late
Lord Chief Justice of England,
by w. T. Stead, in the American
Monthly Review of Reviews for
October.
Beerbohm Tree is accredited
with the following rather smart
take-down of vain brother actor
who must be nameless:
81 see you are getting on fairly
WE'LL" Tree remarked.
"Fairly? [ am getting on very
we'll. I played Hamlet for the
first time last night. You can see
by the papers glowing criticisms
how we'll [ got on
Il have not read them yet"
replied Tree quietly, "but was
there
ooh, you were? WE'LL you
noticed how swimmingly every
thing went off. OF course, [ made
a bungle of one part by falling
into Ophelia's grave, but I think
the audience even appreciated
that
Il know they did," said Tree,
with a slight smile. But they
were frightfully sorry when you
got out again london Tid-Bits.
A little girl wishing to get her
cap from a dark room asked the
nurse for it. The nurse told her
that she should not be afraid in
the dark, as God was in the dark
as we'll as in the light The little
girl looked doubtfully into the
dark room, then, walking bravely
to the door, said: "God, please,
sir, hand me my cap"
A little child in Sunday school
class, being questioned how Eve
came to be made, hesitated some
time, and then Frightening up,
said: "God looked at Adam and
said, guess I can do better than
that, and he then made Eve.''-
Harper's Monthly.
Two ministers, Baptist and a
Methodist, met at the Kansas
City convention and fell to joking.
Said the Baptist preacher to the
Methodist: Il suppose you know
that Bryan has turned Baptist?'
"No," gasped the Methodist
preacher, chat can't be-
Nevertheless, that's true" said
the Baptist.
ooh, no." said the Methodist
preacher, recovering himself, "no,
that can't be trne WHY. TO be a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-09-11
KANSAS FAIRS IN 1900.

Following is a list of fairs to. be held
in Kansas in 1900. their dates. locations
board of agriculture and compiled by Sec
rotary F. D. Coburn:
Wheaton. secretary. lola: September 1913.
Butler County Fair association..A
Siafiden' secretary "a D0raa0' september
Clay County Fair association--E. e.
Hopes, secretary. Clay Center; Septem-
Corey County Fair associations. E.
Woodford. secretary, Burlington; septem-
Cowley county-Eastern Cowiey Fair
Burden: September 1874. -
Douglas county-Kaw Valley Fair as
sociation: a c. Griesas secretary. Law
Finney County Agricultural society-D-
Franklin County Agricultural society
3. G McQuesten. secretary. Ottawa; Sep
Greeley County Fair association. B.
Newman, secretary. Tribune; October -
ass aeksan ssnn' McGreW s acr
Holton September lila
Jefferson County Agricultural and Me-
rotary. oskaloosa- Septem per fl -
Jewell County, FAIR 1ssociatior-Cnas. Z.
Horne. secretary. Mankato; September
Linn County Fair AsEosiatiOn-Ed- r.
Marshall county, Frankfort Fair asso-
f fra tiTnG sente 6FardsnSrs secretary
Miami county Agricultural. Mechanical
Fair association--Jos. e Trickett, secre-
tary, Paola: September 1928.
Morris County Exposition company: z
]. Dill, secretary. Council Grove. SeDtem-
Der 25-2S.
Neosho county, Chanute Agricultural.
Fair. Park and Driving association-A. e.
Timpane. secretary. Chanute: September
Usage County Fair association-C- II.
Curtis. secretary. Burlingame; September
Al.
Riley County Agricultural society: R. T.
Worboys, secretary. Riley; September
1921.
SedgwIck county, Wichita State Fair
association-H. @. To1er. secretary, Wich-
Harvey County Agricultural society;
John c. Nicholson. secretary, Newton;
October 2-5.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-09-11
THE COMMODORE'S CUE.

IFrom the Denver Times
In the early days of steamboating on
the Ohio river they had only stern
wheel boats, and old Commodore Nc
Cullough, of Cincinnati, conceived a
scheme to build and launch a palace side
wheeler" which would by grace of her
beauty and size run the sternwheelers
out of the trade"
He carried his ideas to a successful
and beautiful finish, and sent her on her
initial trip, and she came back $500 loser.
The natives along the river would not
ship on her, nor would they ride on her
nor trust their live stock on her. They
couldn't see the wheel go round"
So the Flora Belle made trip after trip,
burning from $500 to 81 900 worth of coal.
and taking in perhaps $500. The news
papers took it up. and it was street talk
was. Everybody from banker to boot
black knew the tale. At this time the
old National theater on Sycamore street
was the bonton theater of Cincinnati.
and its gallant men and lovely women
thronged the performances. One night
the Commodore attended, and as he en-
tered there was series of nudgings and
whisperings.
There's the Commodore. There's the
owner of the Flora Belle"
The play was one Of those Bertha,
the Sewing Machine Girl" dramas, with
scene in which the lover proposed mar
riage-
mo" said the heroine. IT can never
be your wife, Harold. You are wealthy,
you are millionaire, while am only a
poor sewing girl. If 1 marry you all
my friends will say it was for your
money, and love you. darling, for your
self. Get rid of your money. my darling,
and will be your wife" And she made
her exit in tears
The lover walked up and down the
stage wringing his hands.
How he cried. "how can I win her7
How can get rid Of my money!"
That was the old Commodore's cue. He
rose up in the center of the parquette
and shouted:
Buy the Flora BELIEF
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-09-11
is NOW A WRECK.
Arrest of Woman Who Married the
Son of II. B. Courtney of the Dia-
r1ond Match Co.

Wilmington, Del. Sept. IA physi-
cal and financial wreck, Mrs. Sarah p
Courtney, widow of Charles H Court
ney and a daughter-in-law of the late
Henry B. Courtney of the Diamond
Match company, has been found by the
police of this city and sent to the New
castle county hospital
She was arrested on the charge of
neglecting her son, Charles H. Courtney,
ir., II years old, after the boy himself
had been arrested for being homeless.
The boy was sent to the Home for
F,riendless and Destitute Children
Mrs Courtney is IS years old, and
was the daughter of poor parents. Her
marriage to the wealthy matchmaker's
son took place Is years ago.
The elder Courtney, on his death bed.
impaired to his son the secret for the
manufacture of the parlor match.
Charles received $4,000 as his share of
his fathers estate. This legacy was
souandered in time and eventually
charles sold the formula for the match
preparation Poverty overlook him,
and he died a few years ago without
leaving anything for his wife and SON.
Shortly afterwards Mrs Courtney OBJ
tained employment as cook
There are well-to-do members of the
Courtney family living in this city, but
they will have nothing to do with the
unfortunate woman and her son.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-09-11

fully recovered. I have heard old print
ers who knew Kelley say that II any
one would come upon him unexpectedly
and give an Indian yell Kelley would
fail In mt. The story was known 70
all the western tramp printers and tpey
used to alnuse themselves by getting
Kelley in public places like dance halls
and bar rooms and. when he had ao-
sorbed a few drinks, they would let out
a wild yell just to see Kelley nave a
fit and entertain the bystanders-
kansas has lost it's reputation as a
cyclone state said a gentleman at the
National THE medal for the home OF
the cyclone win have to be handed over
to Texas. That state seems to be the
storm center of the world. for this year
at least. Early in the spring WIND ana
rain storms began to visit that state,
and they have been continuous all sum-
mer. The terrible storm in Galveston
and the other coast towns seems to be
the climax Kansas has never had a
storm that resulted in losses equa1ling
the one hundredth part of the loss, both
to lives and property, caused by tne
Dallas cyclone, and all the storms IN
Kansas have not resulted In loss equal
to the Galveston storm. Texas has been
the unfortunate state this year, and II
the reputation of a cyclone state hurts
Texas as it did Kansas it will be years
before the full damage is realized, Tor,
in spite of all that can be said, many
people will not live in a country that IS
supposed to be the home of the cyclone"