The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1900-04-28
LIKED TO BE ON TIME.
SO Mr.. JoBSON TOLD MRS. JoBSOh
REGARDING THE THEATER.

ate Enough to Take Him at His
Word, Much to His Disgust and I'm
qualified Amusement.
when be got home at 4:30 the other
afternoon, "just let me take this early
| opportunity to remind you again that
we're scheduled to go to the theater
this evening. 1t is my desire and pur-
pose to reach the theater in time to
see the rise of the curtain on the first
act, for once in the whole course of
my married life, this evening. l want
to see the beginning of the show. l
was unable to get aisle seats, and |
feel unwilling on this particular occa-
sion to trample seven or eight unof-
Tending men and women underfoot In
order to reach my seat just IA minutes
after the performance has begun,
when the orchestra is rendering shiv-
cry music and the abused and starving
oma with the diamonds Is narrat-
ing the history of her life. Nor do l
| feel resigned this evening to the spec
tacle of your completing your toilet
on the street after we start. Just see
if you can't tog out in time for us to
make the break for the cars some
where in the neighborhood of 1880,
and you'll do me a favor"
Mrs. Jobson smiled and superintend-
ed the setting of the table. The dinner
passed off quietly. After dinner Mr..
Jobson settled himself in his easy chair
and buried himself in The Star. Dark
ness began to creep on apace, as the
lady novelists put it, and he illumi-
mated the house. When he finished
The Star, he picked up the copy of
David Harum" that Mrs. Jobson had
been reading and plunged into it.
"This is the stuff they've been max
ing such a row about" muttered Mr..
Jobson to himself when he sat down
with the book, and in less than eight
minutes he had read II pages of 1t and
had forgotten his name and number.
Mrs. Jobson had disappeared up stairs
some time previously, but he didn't
even hear her moving about in her
dressing room. After awhile, howev-
er, she called him.
"It's getting late" she said. aren't
you going to begin to dress?"
"Uh huh," replied Mr.. Jobson, turn
ing over a page. He had only an indis-
tinct idea Of what she was saying.
Ten minutes later she called to him
again.
81 am pretty nearly ready" she said,
land it's 7:30. Aren't you going to
change your clothes"
"Um-m, uh huh," answered Mr.. job
son, unconsciously digging into his
pocket and pulling out another cigar,
which he didn't light, but chewed on.
He was too much engrossed with the
book.
At 1925 Mrs. Jobson tripped down
stairs all ready. Even her gloves were
buttoned.
"Well?" said she, smiling at Mr..
Jobson.
"Huh?" he inquired, looking up at
her. "Where are you going?"
at seems to me that we had intend
ed attending some theatrical perform
ance this evening, had we not?"
Mr.. Jobson surveyed her in a mysti-
fed way and then pulled out his watch.
"By jing, l believe there was some
thing said about the theater this even
ing" he exclaimed. Flows it happen
that you're all ready? And why didn't
you just tip me off, by the way, that it
was time for me to be getting arrayed
in purple and fine linen?"
81 called you several times,' said
Mrs. Jobson.
He laid the book down and regarded
her severely.
"Called me several times, hey" said
he skeptically. Mrs. Jobson, l don't
claim to be getting any younger, like
some people l know, but it's simply out
Of the question for you to attempt to
make me believe that Pm as deaf as a
post. Don't you suppose l could have
heard you if you had leaned over the
banisters, and talked above a whisper!
But l see through your little game,
Just because l happened to remind you
this afternoon that it would be a good
scheme for you to be ready on time you
figured that it would be funny to sneak
up stairs at about $50, walk around Oh
tiptoe while you fixed up and permit
me to doze off in my chair here, just
SOS you could have it on me about not
being ready myself. S'pose you thought
that was a really subtle scheme anG
hard to see through, hey?"
And he went muttering up stairs tC
get ready. He found the buttons al
placed in his shirt and everything laiG
out on the chairs, but still he muttered
Mrs. Jobson didn't stand in the hal
and shout up to him, Hey, there, are
you going to be all night getting those
buds on?" as Mr.. Jobson would havt
done under reversed circumstances.
At 500 he clomped down stairs will
his tie very much mussed and at o n
side, his hair parted in several differen
places and with the sanguinary marks
of several cuts he had inflicted upoI
himself in shaving still showing quit'
prominently. They reached the theatel
at $40, and sever persons had to stant
to let them pass to their seats. MI
of the play in gloomy silence. He didn'
say a word on the way home. AS b
got a bee line On the bed, with his han
on the gas key, preparatory to putting
out the lights, however, he addresses
her thus:
Mrs. Jobson, a jokes a joke, but
put up job is a, different sort of PROPOSE
ton. You weren't cut out for a ligh
coincidence. The neXt time you fee
inclined to be funny just count up t
1874 and take seven steps to the real