Griggs courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., Dak. [N.D.]) 1885-1902, 1900-10-25
A Lazy Pike County Man
Hiram l.ampson's Attempt to Geta
Living rns!!y.
asrTH HE intelligence of Pike coun-

over the country, said Deacon
Todgers. mo one was surprised
when the agent for a big curcus
came up here early this spring try
ing to collect five animals in general,
but with Il special vearning for Wild
cats and bears. He offered good prices.
but the boys. knowing the difficulties
Of the case. didn't take much interest
In his scheme. So everyone was sur
prised when Hiram Lampson, who has
the reputation of being the LATEST man
in the whole county. spoke up and al
lowed he would furnish the agent with
bears and wildcats enough to meet
the demands of any ten circuses.
81 amt so foolish as | look said
Hiram. when demonstrated with him.
who is the best ventri.oquist in this
county""'
".You are responded.
"'And who is the best mimic" he
asked.
"'Aou are. Hiram I.ampson. ] an
swered him. impa tient like. And you
are the biggest fool. too. DO you pro
pose TO give, an entertainment for the
bene1i, OF Pike county bears, and
charm them so that they Will be will
ing to let YOU sell them TO any circus
agent Who happens to be in the vlcln-
i,v? Your ondoubted ta.ents may
amuse a Sunday school class, but they
won't carry YOU far alon" the Pike
county bear and Wildcat theat rical cir
cult which seems to be your intention
10 OrnauiZe'
Hiram looked hurt at my flow of
sarcasm.
Its no wild animal vaudeville en-
tertninment I'm going to ct up, Gea-
con-. he said. earnestly. MY plan is
based on The understanding Of Wild
animal nature | acquired sittin" around
in the woods on warm summer days
when }rejudiced observers Thought |
oMeh, TO be p.owing. My muscles
weren't very busy then. to be sure, but
my intellect was working overtime.
Il was clean puzzled 10 see now Hi
ram was going to catch either bears
or wildcats by means of ventriloquism
or mimicry After making me- prom
Use not 20 give his PLAN away, he un-
folded his scheme.
occurring these spring months what
arc Pike county animals busiest about
he asked.
"'Most of them are devo;ag their
energies to looking after promising
families said ].
ITO he sure deacon. to be sure. an
swered Hiram. with the air Of mar
who has gained an important poln'
in an argument Now take the cas-;
with bears Will an old bear, an eN
pcrienceG, bear. wander into any tral
devised for the catching alive Of un
suSp4ctiny br,linso But il a bear hinh:
its cub is in the trap il vii! blunde1
right ahead and so be trapped and eN
changed for good money for he bene
fit OF an intelligent but oNer,noGss
hunter
Even then | didn'; see through Iii
rams plan. i don't see | argued
how you are going TO get Your cubs
Even the Youngest and least suspicion
of bear wives or mothers will lool
with Gouht on YOUR pan of starting
bear crerhe With her cubs. And it
certain no wildcat is going to com
mi; her kittens 10 the tender mercie
of Hiram Lampson. Day schools an
nurseries are al. right in their way
but don't believe YOU can ever max
them popular with Pike county wild
cats.
"'Nonsense. deacon said Hiram. i'm
patiently. It's not a training schoc
for teaching the bear cub or witca
kitten idea to shoot that I'm after
I mean to bring my active intellect IN
justly famed powers of mimicry int
play. Down at the end OF the bi
gulch l will build Il pen With a littl
door to it. Then l will get up tire
and initiate the CRYING OF q bear Gu
in distress. The call will seem to com
from the pen. Any mother bear tina
hears it will hike for that pen. an
won't rest until she has explored tn
INSIDE. Once inside. that bear wi
stay until she 10 exchanged for shell
els for the beneH, Of Hiram l.ampsol
And the same scheme will work a
right with Wildcats. Once let me Q,
my plan in working" order and an
famine in he wild animal supply ca
promptly be averted by applying
your Uncle Hiram.
Il was more than shocked at II
moral callouSnrsS Of the man and /
way he sloated over the prospect,
breaking UP of happy it beiligeren
families. Hiram Lampson.' said
him. so,emnly. its playing on the tie
dereSt emotions OF mother bears tn;
you are proposing. Its using II
mother love Of unwary Wildcats
draw them into captivity. You m;
prosper in your unycGly scheme f.
awhile. but in the end fate will yea,
out ana grab you Ey the neck al
twist It,
but did my solemn and wel!chos,
words Of warning turn Hiram from h
evil ways? Not a bit. Within lhr
days he had his trap fixed. Then
climbed a nearby tree, sort Of hid
the branches. and sent cut Il cry Ii
baby bear that has been caught
trap. There's no denying Hiram h
talent in his unsanctifeu way. for tn