The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1900-10-25

They say Miss Singleton is trans
nlgrationist." "Yesl She thinks she
must once have been the wicked flea
whom no man pursuethw-Lire.
Fair Painter--I hope you don't mind
my sketching in your tieldf Farmer
Lord. no. missile! You keep the birds
off the peas better'n a ordinary scare
erow.-Tt-B
"Grafter must have turned over
new leaf He tells me he's working
night and day" yes, that's the frm
he's with now" "WhatY' knight
Day."-Philadelphla Press.
Hoax understand the doctor said
yesterday that there was very little
hope in your rich unele's case. Joax-
It's even worse to-day. He's very much
better-Philadelph Record.
Shocking. "They say the young man
Melissa Perkins is goin' to marry Is
reg'lar paragon. Land sakes. DO
tell! thought he was Il clerk in a gro
cery.o-Chicago Times Herald.
What do you suppose makes your
baby sister cry so?'' asked visitor OF
small Johnny. Il guess il must be
cause she is hatchin' her teeth, re-
piled the youthful obseryer.-Chicago
News.
School Teacher-What little boy can
tell me where is the home of the swal-
low? Bobby kin. please. School
Teacher-Wel Bobby: Bobby-The
home of the swallow is the stummick
-Tit-Bits.
Doctor-What you need Is change
and rest. PATIENT cant afford It.
My Incomes pretty well requisltioned
already My children get all the change,
and my wife gets the rest.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Georgy ION the warpath)-Say, Eddy,
did Harry hit you? Eddy-No. Georgy
Did Jimmy hit you? Eddy-Nope.
Georgy-Well, If nobody hasn't hit you
will I've got to lick some one.-Chi-
cago News
All that He Asked: Miss Lulu Elan
nigan-I will give yez my answer In
month, Pat. He-That's right, me dar.
lint; TEX plinty av time to think 1t over.
But tell me wan thing now-will 1t be
yes or noT-Judge.
Old Lady pointing to elevated rail.
road)-Where do them cars go to? City
Man (hurriedly)-Almost anywhere you
want. ma'am. Old Lady-Land sakes!
thought they had to stay on the rails.
New York Weekly.
Fuddy-They have a deal to say
about the brotherhood of man." and
yet wars and rumors of wars continue.
Duddy-That's all right. There always
has been more or less lighting in fam
llies.-Boston Transcript
Tess-So she's to marry the son of the
wealthy Mr.. Millyuns. How on earth
did she manage to land him, wonder1
Jess-She's musical, you know, and 20
it's no trouble at all for her to catch an
heir.-Philadelphia Press.
A Matter Of Necessity: wife-John,
you don't mean to tell me that you shot
this poor little bird with that great big
gun? Husband-Yes, dear; I'm sorry
to say had to. couldn't get near
enough to put salt on Its tail.-Philadsl.
phla Press.
Proud Parent-If you call in the even
ing you probably will hear my daugh-
ter singing. Artless Friend-Oh, I
sha'n't mind that. You ought to hear
the fellow down our way practicing on
the cornet. 1t is simply awful.-Boston
Transcript.
my boy" said the first proud papa,
"has q bad habit of interrupting me
when I'm talking. Your boy Isn't old
enough for that yet" NO" replied
the other. my boy contents himself
with interrupting me when I'm sleep
ing"-Philadelphia Press.
1--WE got up another crowd and ran
away from those people We camped
out with last year" did they dis
cover itT Huh! When we arrived
ut the ground we found they had made
ND another crowd and had run away
from s."-Indianapolis Journal.
Ratios of Travel: Nike" said Plod-
ding Pete, do you believe in dis six
teen to oneg" Sometimes do" an
swered Meandering Mike, ian some
times | don't 1t depends on whether
It's sixteen meals to one mile or six
teen miles TO one meal. "-Washington
Star.
Mrs. Moveabout-Yes, like that
house you sent me to see. 1t will be
much cooler for the summer, but the
dining-room is only half as large as this
one. Mr.. Moveabout-So much the bet
ter. 1t will only be possible for half a
many flies to get into it.-Phiiadelphis
Press.
after all your talk about sensations
tourualism!' exclaimed the fly on thu
edoe of the sugar bowl, I'm surprised
a, vour, what aboutT gasped tn,
captured ny, vainly endeayoring to ex
tr,cate himself from the sticky trap
swell. 1 notice that paper you're stucl
ON now is decidedly yellow. "-Philadel
phia Press.
At a Garden Party: Miss Vera Clas
sic-How many languages do yo'
.neak? Mr.. Orr d. Nary-Slx-E English
nsby talk. bill-of-fare French. societ,
.gaI,ble. baseball dialect, and boarding
house-table talk.-New York Herald.
The Difference: "When Mrs. Paz
venu was poor they used to say Oh
was a great talker. but since she On
came rich 1t is different Indeed
Whst 40 they say nowY' They %;