Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-08-08

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; SPINNING WHEEL.
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WHO?
Who taught me to come home at eight,
And told me that to stay out late
Would bring Gown vengeance on my pate!
My wife
Who taught me that twas only greed
That made ARE smoke the soothing weed
A thing she knew did not need:
Ny wife
Who tied INV finger with string
Till scores of messages I'd bring,
And not forget single thing:
My wife.
Who taught my clumsy hands to sew
The buttons on my various clio
"a Feat that once did not know?
My wife. Answers.
Mai. Hughes admiration for the once
mighty John L. Sullivan Is 50 well
known in sporting circles that il no long
Ell eXcites curiosity or comment, says me
Louisville ,Courier-J ournal. The major
does not regard the presentday cham
picns as being in the same class as the
great fighter, and his contempt
sometimes leads him assray- He AMI
Jeffries recently met in the same cl{y;
and. of course. the conversation drlfted
around to the prize ring and the pugn SITS.
Why" exclaimed the major. YOU fell
lows We're not fa ii with sullivan You
should have seen hum in bis prime. He
had the toughest arm that | ever saw.
The muscles were like iron. and 1t was
iD1p0SSible to in9ent the flesh.
Why, Sullivan in his pafniest days
never had an arm such as mine, replied
the champion
WHY, that's Ridiculous" retoi'ted the
major
fries held out his left arm.
The major felt -he arm and found it
as hard as steel. Then he thumped ON it.
but with no better result He might as
we'll have struck a brick wall for all the
impression that he made. He tried hard
and long: then. turning 10 the champion.
he said: well I never expected to see
an arm ike that | must admit that
you have Sullivan beat Il block. and l
take off my hat TO YOU
The crowd laughed and the major felt
uncomfortable.
well. it's on YOU. major" said one Of
the sports. You were feeling JeffrieS'
game arm. 1t is done up in Il plaster o.
paris cast.
The. major treated
Jasper-''I have hit on a new style
OF proposal. and am in doubt what to
do
Jumpuppe->'Wha is your truub,e:"
Jasper-'I can't decide whether to
write a short story around it or try TO
capture an heiress with it.'-TOwn Top
les.
GEORGES LATEST VICTORY.
Telegraph the tidings
From Frisco to New York:
Dewey is expecting
A visit from the StOrk,
Hu1y gee.
No wonder Dewey wanted
Our President to be.
John Hay in st. Louis Post Dispatch.
TwO rival -colored religions bodies met
on Sunday on the banks of the Delaware
near Camden to hold an immersion.
There was considerable badinage on the
part of both congregations before the
ceremony, their only common sanima ting
impulse apparently being tendency to
scatter like sheep without a shepherd
when collection was announced. AS
Bishop Cawley conducted a white man
to the river one of his Hadherents called
out: You people amt the only ones that
will have an attraction. Our minister is
goin to 'merse white gemmaR." To
which member of the other body re-
piled: -Shucksl Our cGlored lady minister
is gOin' to 'merse 300-pound black man.
You isn't in it." The river is muddy and
shallow at this point, and the lady min
lister had some trouble in getting into
deep water. Finally" says the Press
when all was ready she took a firm grip
en- the shirt front of the man with one
hand and grasped his hands with the
other. Backward he went into the muddy
Of loo II II
down was easy, but to raise him was
somewhat different. She tu"ged. but he
would not come up. One of her escorts.
who wore an office coat that had MANY
rents in it. went to her assistance, fol-
lowed by her husband. who in the
tWlnkHng Of an eye had the man en- his
feet and suffering out the river water.
The walk back was difficult, as the con
vert was hard to manage. wanting tt
show his happiness by shouting Finally
he was led to the grove. where he
startled the women and children. who
lujah. and jumped fully four feet in the
air. He was led to a house, where he re-
moved his wet clOthes.'
We were spending the winter in old
Fortress Monroe and the small boy of
the family had been cautioned repeated
~ not to drink any water that had not
DVeu tUO1leu. dS II WAS not Sa1e. one day
when something had gone wrong .and he
was crying bitterly, his mother called
dheerily to him. Kenneth. do you know
that yOur tears are salt? Catch the next
one and taste itr' Stopping his sobs for
a moment he walled forth in the most
dismal tones: "Oh. no: I'm afraid to-
it HASN'T been boiled New England
Magazine.
You cruel, wicked boy, to kill that
harmless, little bird
Il was Jus going ter offer it to yer,
lady, fer ter put de wings in yer collec-
ton on yer headgear."
"Oh, You generous little fellow And
they,r just the right ~shadev'-Life.
There was one story about Gov. Roose-
yelts recent visit to Chicago that was
told BIZ the governor himself as being the
star incident of his Western trip, re-
lates an exchange.
The day l arrived. on my way West .
said the governor, lone of my callers
was a citizen of Joliet, who was slightly
the worse for imbibing, but his manner