The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-09-03
THE HICKORY ELM CLUB
SESSION WILL BE CONTINUOUS AND
PROCEEDINGS INFORMAL.
IL n Party Dies, Shall 1t Live Agnins
Captain Skidmonk's Powerful
speech on the Resurrection.

"No one will be called to order" said he,
unless his conduct shall become danger
Gus to the peace and dignity of the club.
There are several hundred important mat
tiers yet to be disposed of before we can
hope to land Colonel Bryan in the White
House. 1t is conceded by the best minds in
the country that the Democratic party.
once the pride of the common people. Is
dead. That is to say the two vital sparks
that once animated its being, to w.t. tariff
reform and is to /. are totally extinct. 1t
follows. then, that what concerns the MEM
bers of this club more than anything else
in the world is the question, shall we live
again? Is there any resurrection for the
dead?
1.-The wisest men in all ages have investi-
gated this question in the light of science,
philosophy and logic. but up to the present
writing no satisfactory conclusion has been
reached. There are still great many peo-
pie in doubt as to whether death ends all.
The subject is wrapped in mystery, and 1t
will be the business of this club to attempt
to solve it in the next hour and a half. In
the course of the debate mention will be
made of ghosts, sprites, spooks and spirits,
and the chair trusts that Captain Skidmonk
and Peter j. Lummix will not become
alarmed. AS Colonel Snort is fast becom-
ing the ghost of his former self, he, Of
course. will be strictly at home should the
spirit of the departed appear while the dis
cussion is going on
Mr.. President" said General Pitcher,
'if this club is going. to be turned into a
L. H. ia
is no place to talk of future life. We are
organized for the purpose of making our
selves solid in the present tense. and the
future must take care of itself
VERDICT OF DEATH.
THAT is all very true replied the pres
ident. but, admitting that the life of the
organization was knocked out of 1t by
Charley Towne when he funked on the sill
yer question the other day in his with
drawal speech by ignoring the great prin-
ciple of bimetallism when he forgot. to
mention that other famous theory of his
the price of wheat is controlled by the
price of silver-and when he admitted that
tariff reform was a dead issue, what is
there left to encourage the party in the be-
lief that it is alive and capable of making
itself solid in the present tense. as you say?
If there is nothing. then the Democratic
party is dead, and all that remains to be
done is the shoveling of the dirt on it's
coffin by Mckinley and Roosevelt's Rough
Riders this fall. So the question recurs,
shall we live again?'
General Pitcher said the presidents ex-
PLANTATION was satisfactory, and he decided
to remain i'm the club
Major Biff said the New Testament taught
the doctrine of resurrection, but how far
it could be utilized to help a defunct po-
litical party he was not prepared to say
Il don't believe there is anything in this
resurrection business, or would o heerd
more about it," said Captain Skidmonk.
1.-The idee of the sperit of a lot % dead
Democrats comm, back to this airth is
calkalated to make a fellers hair stand on
end"
AS the captains hair was at that moment
mostly on end, both on his head and his
| face, the remark caused no little merri-
| ment among the members The captain
| went on to say that he couldn't understand
| why a spirit that had once shuffled off a
mortal coil should want to return to this
| vale of tears and trouble. Said he: eff I
was sperit l would put in the rest of
eternity in the fur off distant abode of the
| everlastin' moon and stars, high up in the
| heavings, away from the dust and noise of
| the great multitude of disappointed Demo-
| Gratis on airth who keep the government in
hot water all the time by howlin' tariff re-
| form, 16-to-1, Imperialism, or some other
| fool thing tibet we don't know ennything
| about. l believe in the fatality of the soul.
| or sumthin of the kind. l look around me
| and behold the different parts of nv body
| / look in the loolxin' glass an see my face,
| and ii says to me: 'Skidmonk, you are an
| identity, an there amt no doubt about it,
| Where you came from and what for is a
| mystery in the minds of all your neighbors
but you are here. jest the same Where /
| shall go when / am gone 1 don't know.
| Ever since I've been old enough to vote
| have voted the Dimocrat ticket, and if
/ can't tell why what's the use of tryin' to
| find out anything about the sperit world
| We are here to-day and tomorrow we are
! in Joliet or Sing Sing. and no man can tell
| where we'll be next day. Nature is full of
| mystery, but at the same time everything
! seems TO be made for purpose. When the
| fierce rays of the sun beat down in sum-
| mer. when it's too hot for fire. we have
! watermelon and cantalope for they need
no cookin. When the live Goals glow on
| the hearth in winter we have broiled bacon
and parched corn, because we've got to
| have fire anyway"
A CALL FOR LIGHT
THAT is all very WE'LL, said the presi-
| dent. but it isn't throwing any light on
the question under discussion"
I'll come to the light in minute" re-
piled the captain. LAS / said, don't know
anything about these sperits. and 1 don't
want TO know. 1t wouldn't work in nv
family to have SIGH doctrine to abdomi-
nate. If my wife thought she had a sure
thing on hereafter, and all she'd have tc
| do when she died was to pass into another
shape and go to sailin aimless around
| through the atmosphere, a huntin' mejims
10 talk oack TO me- she would get so all.
nred independent | couldn't live with her .
| Captain, interposed the president .you
are on the wrong tack. We are not talk
| ing ABOUT the disembodied spirits of i'm.
| dividuals; the question is, does a dead de-
Iunct and rotten political party ever return
| TO earth 10 poster the people and succeed
in fooling them into the belief that it ism,
| corpse, but Is fully alive and competen,
! to run government? The doctrine of the
resurrection dates from the first funeral or
| record says some one. and when the frs,
| mortal lay stin and stark before the ewes
| OF mourning friends, the question arose in
| the mind or every one of the little grour
that gathered there to perform the last sac
ONCE OF the living for the dead-shall we
live again? Hundreds of millions of beings
have passed from the earth since then ant
the same vexed question has been asked
| concerning each and all. 1 am not here IL
| answer, for do not know. All that car
| say is that ii is a subject full of interest n
the Democratic party at this time
Colonel Garlic said he thought IL would b,
saving OF time and expense IL the oues
ton under discussion could be settled with
| In the next few days. and before the cam
paign was on In full blast. He suggested
that the club take up the subject again a.
the next meeting, and 1T was agreed to.
w. s. H.