The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-23
In HOTEL CORRIDORS.

Every man has an Idea that he can
cook if he only want to- said an OBJ
servant man. Il do not mean that they
think they can concocr the dishes Of the
famous chefs, the ingredients Of which
no man has knowledge. but they do
think that they can cook steaks and
chops and fish or such ordinary every
day food A man who has occasionally
fried an egg or piece Of steak and
some potato while his wife or hired
girl was absent is ever afterward thor
oughly convinced that he is a cook and
that he could make a housekeeper
ashamed of her cooking II he only chose
to do so. I have also noticed that men
who go hunting or fishing a great deal
and do their own cooking while in camp
are imbued with the idea that there is
not another sportsman on earth who can
cook game or fish as well as he can. As
a matter of fact the regulation camp
grub would make the ordinary man very
sick. and is only relished by the sports
men because they have worked up an
appetite by outdoor exercise. I used to
do a good deal Of talking about my abil-
ity to cook fish when in camp. and last
summer while was up on the lakes in
Minnesota with an outing party I had
a chance to prove my assertions. / had
been telling some of the party how a
noted fisherman had taught me to pre-
pare a bass in a way that was most
tempting, and after we had been in camp
a few days and had got q little tired of
fried fish the fellows insisted that 1 cook
6. bass in the way L had been Tell1Dg
them about. AS matter Of fact had
never cooked a bass, except to fry one.
in all my life. The instructions 1 had
received were not very explicit, but
had talked about it so much that there
was nothing I could do but try They
were all very skeptical and cast many
whitening gIances at me, so determined
to go about It All there was to do was
to clean the fish, put on a thick slice of
bacon IN 1t and plaster the whole fish
with clay about one inch in thickness.
The instructions, as near as I could re-
ms
fish in bed of live Goals, cover
It with more live Goals and take it out
when the clay had cracked 1 never took
as much interest in anything IN my life
as l did in cooking that fish and the way
I watched for the clay to crack would
have convinced & cat watching a mouse
hole that she was very fnattentive- It
took about half an hour longer than
expected and the fellows stood around
and made humorous remarks while 1
singed my hands patting the Goals It
was a great success though, and never
saw a prettier dish than that fish made
The skin and scales came OFF with the
clay and there lay the meat steaming
hot with just enough bacon grease in II
to give it a fine flavor. I did a lot Of
boasting over my success and the rest
of them were liberal with their praise.
but in spite of all their requests for more
OF the same dish 1 refused to again try
my hand. for I was fearful Of the out
come and l didn't want to spoil the rep
utation I had established as a bass
cook"
7 met a very cheerful and graceful
offhand liar on the train a few days
ago. said q travelling man who also
claims membership in the Ananias club.
This fellow was 3 very intelligent look
ing man, and l at first thought he was
a lawyer, but during our conversation
he told me that he was a farmer and
that he dealt in live stock We had
exhausted the subject of politics because
we both agreed and could not get up an
argument on that much abused topic.
We finally drifted into the subject OF
railroad wrecks and then / saw where
my acquaintance was at home He told
stories Of slaughter in wrecks that were
bloodcurdling and dwelt with evident
relish on his descriptions OF imaginary
nangied human remains Where he
was long, though. was on his causes Tor
the wrecks. He related some very pecu-
liar instances that displayed the deft
hand of the practiced and accomplished
liar and capped them all by telling how
he was crossing the desert in Utah on
the Central Pacific when suddenly the
cars began to sway just as they do when
running on q track that has many re-
verse curves in 1t. The train came to
stop with several trucks of, but no Sc
rious damage was done. The passengers
all got out TO see what was the trouble
and 1t was found that for some distance
the track was warped by the heat OF the
sun and was twisted much as iron grid
ers are that have been IN ire Inc
crew were at a loss to know what to do
but as there were some tools on the
train it was finally decided to take out
a rail and see if that would not help
matters. Accordingly a rail was re-
moved from each side of the track, and
it was found that was just the remedy.
The track Strengthened out and the va
cancy caused by the removal Of the
rails was filed by the expansion of the
remainder. The train proceeded, but at
the first section house they stopped and
sent back the section gang 50 that they
could be on hand at night when the rails
cooled and contracted. and replace the
rails the train crew had removed"
1.-THE lay from the west certainly cuts
no more absurd figure in the east than
the eastern jay cuts when he comes TO
the west and attempts to display his su-
perior knowledge" said gentleman who
owns several wheat farms in the western
part of the state. There was a fellow
who came to our country who formerly
lived in that highly enlightened state
Massachusetts,. and he thought that all
the knowledge he had overlooked was
not worth going back to pick up. He
had not been a farmer in his own coun-
try, but seemed to think that anyone
could farm in this state even If they
did not know when to husk alfalfa or
when to water stock The man whom
am speaking Of was one OF the very
brightest Of the bright; he had grad
tation and thought that all that he had
not learned there he could acquire by
observation. Observation is all right
as far as it goes, but, as my friend
found. it does not go very far. He had
not lived in the state two weeks before
the boys had him out hunting snipe.
They also had him watching the old
Il