Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1900-10-10

cruel, unfceling man, Baltimore Amer
ican.
At a large exhibition of pictures an
Irishman was standing, catalogue in
hand, before a vivid representation of the
Deluge when an old lady, seeing he had
a catalogue. asked him to tell her the
sdbject of the painting. "A summers
day in the west of Ireland. madam" re-
piled the Ir.shman promptly.-Comhill
Magazine.
A Scotch divine took one of his parish
toner's 10 task for his nonattcndancc at
kirk; the man said: Il dinna like lang
sermons The parson, with some wrath,
replied: John, yen dee. and so to a
place where yen not have the privilege
Of hearing long or short sermons. "
That may be-" said John, but it Wilma
81 Tor lack of parsons.
Its very discouraging," said the
young man. Il confess that Mt times
considered myself a genius
But perhaps you are suggested his
friend, sOothingly.
'Impossible. | explained my plans to
half a dozen hard-headed practical men.
and not one of them seemed to think
was blamed fool, Life.
The Hat was Removed Madam. =
complained the man-bchind- thr-hat, Il
can't see the stage; if you'd kindly re
move OH snapped the lady, Il
guess you're seeing your moneys
worth" You're right" he replied Il
only paid $50, but here | can see the
| price tag of your hat. and it's marked
| S3.9S. philadelphia Press.
A fully-equipped fashion plate hunts
man met Il young farmer i'll the roadway
and inquired;
Beg pawdon. young man. but can you
| tell me whCthew there are any Wabbits
| awound hCahT'
PLENTY of them was the ready reply;
but don't let that worry You. they re
harmless. Richmond Dispatch.
Flatte--"I thought I'd practise on my
| cornet last evening. but to save me
| couldn't get the right pitch on it,"
Bratte-'Couldn't you get the window
Whats the window got to do with
well, the right pitch would have been
through that.'-PhiIadelphia Record.
A recent joke in Punch Miss Ethel
| And how much are the guinea pigs,
p.ease?' Naturalist -- II Wu-Hud-S.N a.
/ piece, Miss" Miss Ethcl-"Oh, but W.
want a whole one" Isn't this a yaria-
/ ton of the oldtimer abou; the grocer and
/ his eggs? Customer-"iloW much are
/ your eggs apiece Grocer-"We don't
/ sell EN- by the piece, we sell en- 10y The
4, dozen"
/ Biggs ito cabmanl-"What viii YOU
charge to take me and my wife To
/ Blanks hotel:'
( Biggs-"-And how much for taking me
+ aione?''
+ Cabman-"Thc same. half crown"
I Biggs ito his WifcI-"Thprc. my dear
YOU see how much you are valued at
Tit-Bits.
Parson johnson after the ceremony
! May 20 bofe be very happy, 1o', Jim
7 have got 4 good wife, an yo' ma am, have
got fine, upright, exemplary Christian
husband-mah fee am two doiIahs.'
Jim P-pleaSe trust me till
next week Friday. pahson,"
Parscn JOhnson--"Trust yoN Why. yr
coarse, lOw-down, light-6ngercd chicken
thief, | wouldn't trust yo' VIII an Old cat
| wanted to get rid of'-Judgc.
Dialogue in Weber & Fields Music
hall, New York city;
Enter Dave Wartcld as the Hebrew.
Warheld-"I want to know if | lost
when | bctted something's
Fields-'Mehhe; tell MS
Warfield-"D You know about mil
tary codesE'
Sure
WarfeId- must q man ho becrr,
ne can buried he nit miltarys hoHprs :
+ weber, captain
Fields-"No; a generals
Narield-"Den ! guess ! lose, cause
bet he must be dead"
She was n new servant, TO whom the
tea coy was an unknown tea requisite
One day her mistress drew her attcn
ton to l., remarking;
Always put that on when You bring in
the tea"
Mary thought IL the funniest servant
cap she had over seen, and used every
la pin she c, aid find 80 adjust it,
They had company shat afternoon, and
when Mary sail III ia with the tra ,hey
fairly shouted with laughter
Il meant or the teap1t, NOT on you.
head. you silly girl" ~ai2 her mistress.
Ard Mary realized that She vas th.
cause of all the fun.--Ti, Bits.