Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-01-11
sroRYETrEs.

In sentencing prisoner to be hanged
Tor the murder OF soldier, Lord Esk-.
grove dilated upon the crime as fol-
lows. And not only did you murder
him. whereby he Yves beravei Of his 70,
but you did thrust, or push, or pierce.
or project. or propel the lethsl weapon
though the bellyband OF his regimenral
breeches. which were his majestys!'
Buckle attributes the great success of
Scottish men OF science to their prefer
ence for priori or deductive argu-
ment. The following story of similar
trend was attributed to Sir Henry
Campbell Bannerman. A Scotsman was
asserting that oil the great poets were
OF his nation. well, but" said one.
'how about Shakespeare? You can't
say he was Scotsman" To which the
other replied, His talents would JUS
tify the superstition"
The humors of examination papers
were illustrated by DIR. Haig Brown.
who, speaking ut the CITY of London
College upon the responsibility which
rested upon examiners in weighing
fragments OF knowledge. said that tho
question. What are the Chiltren Hun
dreds?" once received the reply.
Small animals which abound in such
great numbers In cheese" The in
Quiry what Is n cherub?" elected, In
It's turn. the answer, "An immoI al be-
ing OF uncertain shape"
A solicitor In Georgia court relates
| that he once overheard conversation
| between his cook and a nurse, who were
| discussing recent funeral OF member
| of their race, ut which there had been
great profuslon OF flowers. The nurse
said: When die, donr plant no flow
ers on my grave but plant a good old
watermelon vine, and when II gets ripe
| you come dar, and don't You eat It, but
| jes' bus 1t on de grave and let dat good
old Juice dribble down through de
| ground"
The Boston Transcript tells a story
| or mon who has a class OF boys In
| natural history. One of the subjects
| which he took up was butterflies and
| moths, and he told the children a good
| deal about the chrysalides and cocoons.
| Aftcr he had got the boys well instruct
| ed. he showed one Of the smallest of
| them one of the cocoons, and asked:
| "What butterfly Is this the cocoon Off"
| Then the little boy looked up and said.
| slowly and respectfully: my papa
| says that all cocoons look alike to him."
When Henry Clay was stumpIns
| Kentucky for reelection, at one OF his
m'ss- meetings an old hunter of wide
| political influence said: We'll. Har-
ny. I've always been for you, but be-
cause OF that vote" (Which he named,)
I'm Eoin' agln YOU" Let me seq
your rife" said Clay. It was handed
up ITO him. rs she good rie?"
YES" did she ever MISS flre?"
"Well. yes, once" "Why didn't you
| throw her away?' "The old hunter
thought n moment and then said, "Har-
ry, I'll try you agin." And Harry waA
elected. !,
Sir John Adye, who was governor OF
| Gibraltar fortress, always made him
self closely acquainted with the work
OF whatever happened to be In his de-
| paraient. Meeting person once COM
Ing into the office late. the general
hsked him what time he WIS supposed
TO be on duty. "Qh!' was tho reply.
81 usually stroll In about eleven or
twelve o'clock" stroll in?" said Sir
John, In rising tone: then presume
you do not leave till late?" well,
usually slip off about two o'clock"
"Slip off at two?" exclaimed the veter-
IN. In his topmost note; pray, may I
ask what department you belong to-"
"Oh." said the stranger. II come every
Saturday to ATTEND to the clocks"