The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-07-29
Fun Of the AyroId.

VII VI tttS f'fNa
As lecturer on his experience, says
the Golden Penny, Archibald Forbes wa
very popular. and ne was fond O r.
counting an experience Of his deout III
THAI capacity in Leven, Fifsshirs- With
a humping heart the new lecturer al'-
pearsd AT the hall door shortly before
the starting time OF O'Clock, and. not
wishing - erusa through a great audi
ence on his way % the plal form, -se
asked the haIl-keeper TO conduct h-m 70
a side door.
'Ae medina m.nd. replied THAI func-
tionary, not unkindiy. he ( 5 no
crooG.
When Forbes entered the nal ne had
70 admit that rae keeper was quite Coz
rect. There was not a single soul p es-
emf After q biz. h0wevel. q man stroll
cd in, and calmly proceeded 70 clsoose a
seat. II seems he Was Il cemucrc al
traveller. putting up AZ the place fer h
night. who had found time hanging heav-
lily on his hands. Nobody else c mIns,
Forbes sa to the audience"
win you have the lecture OF wiz you
have drink
a drink. said the traveller.
z4
The native who had returned after
long absence was inquiring how the fam
lily of boys next door has turned Ut
Well, they are all al Work one way ana
another. Dicks teaching school, Tom
in real estate, Henry's musician, joe
has some n for literature, and RUDE
running for congress And the old
man takes 1t easy now. I supp S, and
enjoys his well-earned rest?' 'Oa, he's
peggiug away harder than ever, he's
supporting Dick and Joe and Tom and
Henry and Rube
When Wagner conducted a series Of
philharmonic concerts in Lon ion in $50,
so many critics and Manifestations oo-
jected 10 his conducting wiyhou, the score
that at last, waen the 'Efoica was on
rehearsal. the directors requested aim 10
give up a practice so debaSins 10 the
art" They crowded around aim after
the concert 20 congratulate him upon
his success and his splendid iaterpreta-
ton Of the symphony-due. Of course. 20
his having complied with their wish ),
and having conducted from the score;
one of them CHANGED to glance az the
conductors desk and found there Ros-
infs Barber of Seville upside down.
x
James Payn says, in The Backwater
OF Life. that as soon as he became
deaf his friends tried 10 hearten him b.
collecting anecdotes Of those who have
made humorous mistakes through sut-
fering a like infirmity. The efficacy OF
this method may be doubted, but sucA
as it is many have mad 10 endure +.
One story is indeed TO b tolerated. b.
cause it refers to a gentleman who, al
though deaf, was not SO much 50 as n
pretended to b.. A friend came 10 him
one day and shouted:
win you lend me half a sovereign"
What"
"Will you lend me half a sovereign
was the still louder petition.
What was that?'
"W-lIl you lend me a sove-eigu2'
you said half a sovereign b fore"
u x
An Irishnan Of the full blood cannot
resist an opportunity for repartee. tnO
matter now solemn the occasion or what
his surroundings" said an English cier-
gyman, a visitor In Washington. the 9TH
er day when the conversation turned o.
the funny experiences of clergyman aud
the humor that creeps into matters con-
nected with the church.
81 was assisting an cd friend of mine.
tna rector Of CHURCH IN ireland, IN
Sunday. and before The service We were
in the vestry-rCOm putting on orr be-
with the old sexton, shTvele dup Irish
man of the perfect type ASSISTING. nv
friend. who was somewhat Old, was "a
little testy that morning, and somehow
the slesve Of his surpLce got mixed dp.
Notwithstanding the ass.duOus efforts Of
the old sexton to direct his arm - the
right hoie, the two would not come T.
Finally losing patience. my friend said
sharply: Ach, he devils in the hing
The old sexton frightened up d,
looking over at me with a twinkle ia ais
eye, said. as quick as lightning: Not
yit, your riyerince
1T restored the good humOr OF the
situation. and the vestment was prop
erly adjusted
u x < x
The two old friends. as has been mar
rated met again after many years o.
separation.
by the way. Brown" said Jon s. do
you remember that snub-uosed, cfOss-
eyed little 1ilbury girl with a face ora
her that would deraii an express train,
She used TO live SOM where In ur
neighborhoGd, 1 think.
''Oh. yes. I remember her perfectly
replied Brown.
Whatever became Of her?'
Il am sorry to dsappoint sou Jones"
here Is where the variation comes In
but / have not the slightest idea.
didn't marry her"
we are not much Of q sport" says
COL Wsidy in his Galsua Republican.
but when we meet a csush in h. rsa1
We recognize II. We mace the follow
ing bargain with a ri lend ycste.day
we were TO stand az civ p0iat for
half an hour and watch the ladies VINO
raised. For every lady who reac 81
her hand back - feel 81 her skirt was
gaping, or to tuck II under her bel "
we're 10 receive nlckle. and for every
one VINO failed 10 DO go Ia walking =
block We were 10 give him . dime w
got sixty-two nickles from Him and save
nim Two a lady with beth hands On
came along.
gEz
4 new mot3rman ~ Lewiston. Maine.
was strong and willing bat Ae aad
been in z city muca. He htd G3n farm
wark up IN northern Aroostook
The other mOt0rmau was ia.truc, NJ
hin.
IF FIRE alarm rings 81 SAID sh fold
hand remember that the deyar-men
the IRE engine. and tha rest have 30
flzat Of way Hold riga, up and III 'ea
nast. II you don't taeyA run sou
down
The second day an alarm OF Ere as
rang IN. Tire car was uear . cr0Fs
street where tee q partment Hass sass
'fIo.6 1p." shouted tse !ustrs ter
over tie electric track sa-e t7e aoss f.
teams. faen the fr engine Fpo1flrs
a. me ana smoke. TIE nsz hsnf rast q
look - t1e street and t1sn SUB rs
controller lever. IRE cay started
You internal fol. ahsf ar rea o.