The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1900-04-18
HIS WEIRD ILLUSION.
Torments OF a Man WHO Lost an
Arm in Battle.


Attached to His Body.
My old fricnd Simon, who fastens his
left sleeve. 70 his shoulder with what he
calls bis "eha.nltss safety" nursery pin
well worn down to the brass, sat down
the other day and discoursed concerning
the grim side of the war question, or
perhaps l should say the grimmcr side,
for there Is little that is cheerful In the
topic.
"a wound Is curious thing" said he.
"It's still more singular when II takes
or your arm or your leg. And that a man
can be pestercd by the liant Of a part OF
his body buried away In the ground
know for a fact. When David Barker
said, What n queer, weird thing Is an
empty sleeve.' I'll bet he didn't half re-
alize what he wrote.
Il wouldn't know where to 20 to look
for my arm at Appomattox. l was hus-
tied up TO the hospital into the operating
room and away to a cot, and my arm
that had lived and slept with me for %
years went out on the heap and then
away into n trench somewhere. But
wish could have had the burying Of II.
Now, you want to know why, don't you?
And when tell you you will think / am
a notional old duffer. But let me tell
you this-there amt no way OF going be-
hind what a Teller knows Tor himself, no
matter what other people may think they
know. say that, notwithstanding all the
poppycock talk abont the influence OF the
dead flesh on the living and yearning
blood and all that. there are the truly
strange things that old soldiers know for
themselves.
\ 10 fba of ho
operation, the nurse was keeping off the
flies and we:ting my head. First l got
my bearings. l went right back in my
mind to that pasture where 1t all hap
pened.
'There was the start from where we
had been lying since early morning, won
dering what was going to be our part in
the picnic that was on all around us. We
were hugging the ground down in hol-
low, and all that we were getting of the
fight was sound There was lots of that.
There were hangings and bellowings and
shudderings and beltings from all about.
"Then came our turn when we went on
the jog trot up the incline toward-we
didn't know what. All that we had seen
of tie outside world on ahead was the
grid of five barred fence nt the top of
the hill We had counted all the knot
hbles in that fence as we had set there
and waited.
when we got to the fence, l grabbed
the top rail and started to vault over.
The next moment something snapped,
and when I got my eyes open / was on
my back down the hill under the feet Of
men who were hopping over me.
"'Look out! ! yelled as l scrambled
up the hill again. 1 just took hold Of
the top rail there, and it's so rotten 1t
broke
Then | reached out to grab the fence
again. Bless me, something was the
matter! ! could get hold with only one
hand. / looked down. There was my
left arm swinging and dangling around
as though 1t belonged to n straw scare
crow. had TO feel of il, lift it, jerk at
it. before ! could fairly realize that / had
been wounded.
"And that was all knew about get
ting hit.
But when I came around to my senses
on that cot in the hospital had a more
realizing sense Of things. now l can tell
you. But still wondered. For Gown in
the tips and along all the fingers OF that
left hand / could feel all sorts of aches.
pains, yanks and thrills.
81 never had any idea they would try
Poor man. said she, you are like all
the rest! That arm was off two hours
ago. and you've been growing and grit
ting your teeth and coming out from I'M
der the influence ever since. Your arm
is of, and the stump Is nicely bandaged.
Now take this and be quiet as you can
"And so ! lay there and cooked my
eye down and looked at the place where
the arm ought TO be and wondered what
in time it all meant; for, just as plain as
! ever felt anything. there were twinges
in the fingers OF that left hand and awful
aches in the wrist and pains in the mus
cles that made me scream.
"And yet where all that terrible aching
was ! could see nothing but empty air.
And with my other hand | would grope
around in that space, trying to find and
rub-well, what?
"But worse than the pain even was
tickling that used to take me right in the
palm of that missing hand, and would
have given 500 any day to have been
able to dig down into that itching place
with my thumb nail.
"A ha'nt? Why, there was no ghost
that ever fitted that could be so bad a
spook as the ghost OF piece Of me.
"And then because that dead arm of
mine wouldn't let me forget it l COM
menced to get notions into my head. /
would lie there and fancy so wildly just
what was happening to that hand and
arm that at last, out of nervousness, i
would scream like a woman. Why, you
know, | could see teeth gnawing into il
and feel the pangs for all the world just
as though it was really happening. i
could see worm writing around the
fingers and would try to clutch and grasp
with the hand that had been laid away
from me for so many days.
IAN that sort of torture wore away in
time. of course, but still I'm never al
lowed to forget that lost arm.
81 used to have rheumatic twinges in
that arm. have them there to this day.
l had felon on my left thumb few
months ago. At least had all the symp-
toms and all the pains. could only
grunt and bear it. The hand is cold
sometimes. or rather, perhaps, to be un-
derstood, | should say that it seems as
though ! had a hand there that is cold.
The hand becomes numb and goes to
sleen.' IL il warm md fhrobs. In fact