The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-09-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Tess-I never saw anyone so slow
Mr.


Mr. Timrus-
Jessie is slow, isn't he?
Tess-Awfully. We were sitting in the
| parlor last night and he suddenly said !:
IF you could only see how much
| love you I'm sure you'd let me kiss you. =
| 1 told him I couldn't see it in that
light" and he just sat there like stick.
Philadelphia Press.
Amateur sportsman-Is this a good
place to hunt for reedies?
Native-YOu beti You could hunt here
straight ahead for week
Amateur sportsman-You don't mean
it, really?
Native-Yes, cause you'd never find
| any.-Philadelphia Press.
Are you old enough to vote?' asked
| the tourist in North Carolina.
Il dunno erzackly what my age is,
boss" replied the colored man. but 1
kin tell you dis: I allus was old enough
to know better dan to try to vote
Washington Star.
"Oh. DEAR exclaimed the weary house
keeper, arranging for her days market
ner'' - - -
Really" remarked her bachelor
brother. who had just returned from
the Paris exposition, you should try an
ocean voyage "-Philadelphia Record.
ferdinand sold his great grandfathers
family Bible for SIS
How oddi''
mot at all, he said he was bound his
ancestors should help him out sShat much,
anyway. Indianapolis Journsel.
Mrs. Van Blumer-Dear, dear, drop
ped my diamond ring off my finger this
morning and L can not find it anywhere.
Won Blumer-It's all right, I came
across it in one of my trousers pockets.
-Harper's Bazaar.
The stocky nan-Lemme see, you be-
fn a
you?
Nope answered the man with the
wild eye. Il think the number of our
party is eight. '-Indianapoli Press
Il want you to make correction
said the imperious lady sweeping into
our meeting yesterday you speak of the
delegates elected as Mrs. General Skip
back and Mrs. Brown You gave Mrs.
Skipback her title why not miner"
.'Oh you are Mrs Brown?''
Yes; am Mrs. President -the-Im-
perial- nd-Trust-company Brown"
ST tell you, golf is going to be the
salvation of the nation. 1t is going to
make athletic men and women out of
our puny offspring and lengthen our
days by decades.
But our ancestors didn't go in for
golf.'
And where are they now? Deadl
All dead!"-Boston Journal
Kindergarten Ceiling the Christmas
story)-And the shepherds saw in the
heavens a glorious light, growing
brighter and brighter every minute.
What was this dazzling light. children?
Il know" piped little Barbara; 1.-The
dome of the Boston state e!''-Bos-
ton Christian Register.
The Orator-My friends. the trusts are
engaged in a dastardly attempt TO de-
stroy our institutions!
Weary Watkins-Well, I hope they'll
stop at tearin' down the penitentiaries
an leave the porehouses alone.
Aunt Malinda laid down her rolling
pin, set her hands on her hips and de-
iivered herself of this proud bit Of
wisdom:
.iGreat trouble in dis world is. dey is
too many people who don't know
much to be second = Indianapolis
Press.
Standardization like his father the
Mother-He's certainly like him in
some ways He generally keeps me up |
half the night--Punch-
Mrs Dfnks-Isn't Colonel De Fife a. |
very broad-minded man2
Mrs Links-I suppose he must be; the |
jokes he gets off are always so ex-
tremely broad.-Detroit Free Press.
All, yes, it was for money
Alone he married her.
And yet that's not so funny
He was the minister.
Philadelphia Record.
fever''
why, what of it?"
why, when he was here I thought
he made too much fuss about it; now /
have it myself, want to tell him that /