The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1900-05-12

mayonnnise painted in one corner
this room would be ideal for a dining
room"
sTThese Is the parlors," said the janl-
tor "and them Is Toses-not tomatoes.
The lady who lived here had green bro
cade satin furniture with gold legs and
SHE had the room done up in this way"
LET US see the kitchen, please said
Mrs. Dobley: after all the kitchen Is
the most important room In n house.
Show me the kitchen end can tell you
what sort Of people 1--we In place
The ianitor proceeded through dim
and dingy room to a dark cave-like
apartment In the rear.
This must be one Of those new and
fashionable beefsteak dungeons" said
Mr.. Dobley. II declare, there is moth
ing missing in these modern tiats!
Suddenly the jOnltOr flooded the room
with electric light and disclosed the
fact that the room was u kitchen one
sink and two tubs long by dumb wal
ter door and gas range wide.
"This rangeiis n Baby Grand said
Dobley, reading from the oven door.
"Thay have much tone than the up
rights"
81 thought the rooms were all light"
said Mrs. Dobley. disnppolntedly.
IAN you have to do Is to press but
ton and they are light as day" said the
janltur. Its clouded over bit since
we came In"
At this moment from under the sink
u strange Insect procession emerged,
taking a winding course over the floor,
while Mrs. Dobley's eyes protruded in
horror.
Look" she said. pointing at the pa
geant. It was row OF water bugs in
perfect Indian file, headed by a sedate,
fully grown specimen.
The ianitor stepped forward to cut
of their advance, but Mr.. Dobley held
him back.
mo crossing the lines without n
badge while the march is in progress"
he said. "ThIs, ladies and gentlemen,
is the celebrated tribe of Ogallalas,
headed by Chief Rain-in-thc-Face."
They move Just like n funeral said
Mrs Dobley. shuddering.
you wouldn't have the coaches go
ahead Of the heayse, would your asked
Mr.. Dobley. II can fancy hear a dead
march. Which way lies the cemetery"
They'll never hurt you" said the
jRnitor. "They are tame"
"Tame?" said DObley. They're train
cd. It's the most marvellous exhibition
they say insects have no brains.
Some people try TO kill the poor lit
tie things" sald the janitor; for my
part I'd sooner have 'em than dogs OF
children. They're less bother"
Dobley was reading a set Of rules on
the wall. "Projectiles received from
ten to eleven?" He looked lnqulringly
at the janltor
I'VE had q new system mere, SAID
the janltor. eve have no more hauling
up and down of walters, Each fiat has
u chute and set OF projectiles. Ashes,
garbage and trash of all sorts Is sent
down in the projectiles at the hour set
and rolls. milk and groceries are dellv-
cred in the same way"
Firing at sunrise and sunset, I pre-
sume?" said Dobley, with interest.
Its q great system" went on the
janitor; from 10 to II you'd imagine u
battle was in progress. The cook in
nat A--fourth rear west-has become a
sharpshooter She Is so expert that all
the other servants in the house are
Jealous OF her."
Mrs. Dobley shrieked and tried to
climb on the gas range at this juncture,
gathering her skirts about her ankles.
A large dove-colored mouse was stand
ing on its hind legs looking through the
glass door in the cupboard.
THAT'S only Admiral Dewey" said
the janItor, with laugh. You see the
lady who lived here was very fond OF
animals She had q cage of white
mice. but one day she grew sorry for
them and gave them all their freedom
Tho result is that this apartment house
has collection of these rare pearl gray
mIce-just like Dewey. He does all
sorts of tricks-climbs up In the ca
nary's cage and eats seed and takes a
bath. Why, he'll eat sugar out OF your
hand. Then there's Sampson, Schley,
Hobson and lot more. They answer
to their names"
The janltor opened the cupboard door
and threw in some crumbled cheese to
Dewey, who turned two somersaults
and stood on his hind legs In acknowl-
edgement.
isn't he n bird?" said the jnnItor. ''If
you take this fiat you must let me come
In and see him once In n while. I've
grown to like the little fellow"
Eve certainly will make arrange
ments to have the live stock properly
cared for" said Dobley. 81 think we
could charge admission to this place as
permanent circus and give special
matinees for children"
I'VE only take strictly private famti-
les" said the janitor. we want no ac-
tors in this outfit. The rule is 10 let In
no families with dogs or children. But
what are you to do? They smuggle
them in In crates and barrels after the
lease is signed. You can't do thing!
There's a family moved in downstairs
third fiat d, front, east. They swore
they had no encumbrances Of any kind
and two days after they were settled
along comes golf case and n cham
payne basket by express. Next day a
two-year-o boy and a fox terrier We're
in the fiat Visitors, they said. You
see they will get around It! I'm think
lng OF having a fumlgating furnace in
the cellar and making It II rule to put
all packages over three pounds in
weight in the oven before they're sent
upstairs"
"a capital plan" said DobIey.
"'rhls is the buffers pantry, said the
janitor, showing an aperture in the
wall. you must pick out tall thin
one. And it's n mistnRe TO put any
heavyweight cooks In that kitchen. 1t
wears the paint Off the walls"
What is the rent?" asked Mrs. Dob
ley
"0nly thirty-fvc hundred n year"
said the janitor. Summer rate
Does tina; include the rets?" asked
Dobley, aRxiously.
"JuSt az II stands" said the janitor.
Wen think about It," said Dobley.
"Wcll. you'll have to decide quick"
said the Janltor. There's two parties
Just crazy to get II. They went down
to the city hall this morning to try and
got n copy OF their marriage certli-
cate"
"Marriag certificate" exclaimed Mrs.
Dobiey, why, what Is that ior''
mo ono gets in hero without u ccrti-
ilcatc." said the jnnlior. and refer
ences from the last janltor they lived
with. I've had to make 1t rule"