The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-02-02
.Irr.e,,. ruaa,nhcnd wiI.on.

When Mark Twain created an UMPIRE
tcntfous man Of brains. called him Pud-
d.nheld Wilson and placed him in a neigh
horhood presided over by number o.
bucolic wiseacres, who sNlemnly regarded
him as q sEITieton. because he was TO
Them ucomprehensibIe, the au hor proha-
bly drew largely upon his imagination fer
The development Of his characters and his
situations. There are many rustic corners
On this great land where Mr.. Clemens de-
IghtfulIy satiricaI work either in book or
dramatized form. has undoubtedly fallen
Hat. There are no statistics at hand to
show whether the town of Crawford in
New Jersey. has or has not seen the play
nr read the book. But il so nearly re-
sembles at present the scene OF Pudd'n-
head Wilson's activity. in its community
Characteristic. that The famous American
humorist woIld almost have sufficient
grounds to sre the provincial corporation
for unconscious infringement Of copyright
The town OF Crawford has an agitation
which is so .jsorbing that the residents
have ignored the reyerberating battle
thunder from South Africa. the events in
the Philippines. and exciting affairs in
other parts oil the earth. The Gran
ford Township Committee has tied it.
self into a hard political knot over
the prodigious problem that is troubling
the people. The inhabitants Of the Jersey
burgh lose sleep and forget 10 appear at
The dinner table, so ardu0us has become
the discussion.
The trouble began when the authorities
CG Crawford decided to and did install a
reB sewer system. But their drainage
pipes were made so tight that gas accum-
ulated therein and an explosion followed
That brought on the interneeinc war,
which has divided the residents into two
bitter factions One coterie consists OF
those who believe in the germ theory OF
disease aud are determined to keep up
With the progressive procession. Tee
other faction SCOTS at modern science and
its reputed discoveries. and declares that
the good old way Of doing things in gener-
III is ample for the well-being Of the
community.
The strife has grown more bitter with
each rising and descending sun. The moss
back element has gone 50 far as to declare
that sewers and clean streets are mnec-
essary Injuries. They proclaim that the
bacteria theory is all nonsense. and theii
leader. who is a powerful iy strong talker
has demolished the pretended discoveries
or scientists like Koch. Pasteur. and 9TH
ers by his earnest. IL illogical oratory
After declaring that it is useless to eorl
mp the sewers, he says.
There amt any germs 10 get out. and
if there were. Il wouldn't matter anyhow
germ is such "a little fellow. In
told, that YOU cant see him
II he is SO small as that, don't bcIiev,
Ec could bite TO hurt. Ne stand mosqui.
toes all right. and millions OF them.
never seen a germ anyhow. and don
believe there is any in these parts. +
they deliberately went 10 live in the sew
crs I believe they'd stay there"
This genueman's expose Of the germ
fallscy has been received with signs o
satisfaction by his supporters, but tn,
people who are on Che other side of III
question and who believe in soap and sew
RS. clean streets and an occasiona
'hange OF raiment. insist that they vii
stick to the progressive management o
bc community and win the fight II /
axes all winter and little longer. Tn
;quabbIe gains vigor almost hourly an,
he town IS in as great q state Of uProa
a. il can produce with It's present humble