Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-06-03
MR.. DO0LEY ON THE
B0ER MISSION.
Copyrighted 1900, by Robert Howard Rus
.caIl
BX H. =.

~
Copyrighted 1900, by Robert Howard Rus
sell.
We'll, sir" said Mr.. Dooley, :" tbs a
fine rayciption tn Boer dillygates is
havin' in this country"
They'll be out here mex week" said
Mr.. Hennessy.
They will that, Mr.. Dooley replied,
AN We'll show thin that our inthrest
in small republics fightin' FIR their
liberty amt disappeared since we be-
| came an impeeryal nation. No. sir.
We have as much inthrest as liver, but
we have more INTERESTS elsewhere.
Com Paul, he says to tn la-ads:
Go, he says, to me good an great
trlnd Mack, tn Wanst, an lay tn case
befure him, he says. Tell him he
says, that tn situation is jus tn same
as 1t was durin' Wash'nton's time he
says, 'ony Wash'nton won an we're
rapidly losin' kopjies till we soon won't
have wan to sthrike a match on he
says. An off goes tn good men. Whin
they started tn Beers was dom pretty
we'll, Hinnissy. They were fghtin'
E~ngllshmen, an that's lawn tinnis to
a raie fightin' man. But afther awhile
tn m%urdherin' English government put
in a few recreent but gallant la-ads
firm tn Oh dart-we ought to be proud
" thin, curse thim-Pat O'Roberts,
an Mike McKltchner, an Terrence
OFr-rinch-an' they give tn view
halloo an whit through tn Dutch like
a party Nv la-ads comm home firm a
fifteenth iv August picnic might go
through a singerbund. So be tn time
Tn ~dillygates got to Europe it was:
James, If thin br-raye but misguided
Dutch appears, squirt tn garden hose
on thin. I'll see tn British embassa-
dure this afternoon Ye see Hinnis-
sy, twas OF Kruger's play to keep on
winni' battles till tn ~dillygates had
their say. TIL amount iv sympathy
that goes out fr a sthrugglin' people
is regulated, Hinnissy, be tn amount Nv
sthruglin' tn people can do. III wur-
ruld, me la-ad, is with tn undher dog
ony as long as he has a good hold an
a chanst to TURN over. $
We'll, sir, whin tn diilygates see
they cudden's do business in Europe,
says they to thimsiIves: Wen pike
acrost tn ragin' sea- they says, an in
tn home iv Wash'nton, Lincoln an
Willum j. Bryan, We bet we'll have a
hearin', an they got wan. Ivrybody's
l~istenin' to thin. But no wan replies.
If they'd come here three months ago,
befure Crownjoy was suffocated out iy
his hole in tn groun', they'd be smok-
in their pipes in roekin' chairs on Ia
veranda iv tn white house an passin'
tn bucket between thin an Mack.
But It's dif'rent now. It's diff'rent
now. Says Willum ]. Bryan: I can
see thin mesilf fr it may. not be long
before III have to dale with these in
tnricate problems, | hope and pray, but
Congressman Squirtwather, do We dis
gulse yeersilf as a private citizen an
go down to tn hotel an tell these
la-ads that I'm with thin quietly if
public opinyon j~ustifes 1T n Mack
takes tn other side. Tell thin l fire.
quently say to mesilf that there all
Fright, but | wudden't want 1t to go
further. Perhaps they cud be injooced
to speak at a dimmyeratic meetin' I'M
beknown to me, he says.
"Sicrety Hay meets thin in a coal
cellar, wearin' a mask. Gentlemen
says he, / can assure We tn prisidint
an mesilf feels mos deeply fr We. 1
needn't tell We about mesilf,' he says.
Haven't l STINT me own son into ye'er
aecursed but ~liberty-loyin' country
he says. AS fr Mack, l assure We he's
hear-rt broken over tn turin affairs
have taken, he says. Early in tn
war he wrote TO Lord Sa~lisberry, sayin'
he hoped 'twud not be continyued to
iliction day, an Salisbury give him a
gruf response. TURNED him down,
though both ar-re AnglO-Saxons,' he
says. Las night his sobs fairly shook
tn white house as he thought iv you
an ye'er struggle. He want TO tell
ye how much he thinks IL re an he'll
meet We in tn carredge house if yen
shave on ye'er whiskers an go as clam
peddlers. YeH reco'nize him In .
| green livery. He'll wear a pink car