Mesa free press., 1900-12-28
y EASAEi!!1!EFl10
@s
-~~~o~~

Shells your knee tired, dear? He
Oh, no. l can't feel it at all now
Life.
"Dats a queer hoss-shoe over your
door, Mr.. Johnsing." "Hoss-shoes Is
out of style; dat's automobeel tire. y
Chicago News.
Mrs. Dugan-Shure, it's gra-a-te
day fer us; me man Dinnis Is wur-r-kin'
agin. Mrs. Hogan-Who?-Colo
Springs Gazette.
But she got there: $50 he has at last
led her to the altarw II don't know
whether he led her or she pushed him."
indianapolis Press.
II tell you what, there's dark out
look for that young man." "WhyY
"He has night job in signal tower."s
Chicago Times-Herald.
Zenas-The wallpaper in my room
has design with streaks Of lightning.
How do you like it? Ephraim-It looks
like thunder.-Harvard Lampoon.
A Red-letter Day: The Stranger
How long have you been civilized? The
Native-Ever since my home was burn
ed to the ground, and my wife and
children shot.-Life.
Time for Considerations: Miss Lulu
Finnigan-I will give yez me answer in
month, Pat. Pat-That's right, me
darlint; tex plinty av time to think it
over. But tell me wan thing now-wil
it be yes or no?-Judge.
'My son, before you study history,
you must understand the philosophy Of
it." How is that attained?' "By
practice. You must learn to discrimi-
and those which everybody has agreed
to accept."-Life.
First Theatrical Manager thought
you were going to put on '"The Winters
Tale" and now you are billing "Mid-
summer Nights Dream" Second Man
ager-Yes; 1 didn't like the name Of the
other piece. 1t sounded too much like
Philadelphia Record.
The professors granddaughter was
looking at half-tone portrait Of Prince
II
Marie Gabrielle Of Bavaria. "Who are
these people, grandfather" she asked.
''Those are the Belgian heirs" replied
the professor.-Chicago Tribune.
A Sweeter Parting: $50 you wish to
take my daughter away from me-" re-
marked her doting father. "Well-ah
that wasn't just exactly my thought"
stammered the nervous young suitor;
my folks could perhaps spare me with
fewer s."-Philadelphia Record.
House-owner-You didn't pay the
rent last month. Tenant-No? Well,
l suppose you'll hold me to your agree
ment. Owner-Agreement-what agree
ment? Tenant-Why, when 1 rented,
you said l must pay in advance or not
at all.-Columbus (Ohio) State Journal.
"D'ye notice onny change since ye
was here before, sorY asked the native
guide at the lakes of Killarney. "How
do you know was ever here beforeW
asked the American tourist. Faith,
sor, no man ever comes here thot hasn't
been here before" e."-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Teacher-Jimmy, if you found eigh-
teen pennies and another boy should
take two-thirds Of them away, what
would each Of you have? Jimmy-I'd
have six pennies an he'd have a good
thumpin' less he handed back the rest
of 'em mighty quick.-Glasgow Even
ing News.
A Literary Career: Friend-"What is
your son doing now?" Lady-"He's
writing for the papers," Friend-"Oh,
he is doing literary work, is he?" Lady
81 suppose so; he solicits subscribers,
and when they pay him the money he
writes for the papers they want
Detroit Free Press.
He Knew: Sabbath School Teacher
(striving to inculcate love Of TRUTH
"Now, Willy, suppose you were to
promise your mother that you would
come right straight home from Sunday
school, and then did not do so, what
would you be doingY Willy Waters
"Goin' a-swimmin', ma'am."-Puck.
"Well," exclaimed the persistent poet,
upon opening his mail, II call that en-
couraging." 'Have they accepted
something?" asked his wife. "No; but
instead Of the printed rejection slip,
the editor returns my quatrain with a
criticism in his own hand" what
does he say?" "He says: Herewith
we return your quatrain; it is too
long.'"-Ex.
A short time ago, at school in the
North Of England, during lesson on
the animal kingdom, the teacher put the