West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1900-12-13
ZEB WHITE.
lie Tells How lie Joked With a Bear.

cone September day." said the
old possum hunter of Tennessee as
| asked him for story, al was sit
tin on these yere steps smokin my
pipe when bar suddenly appear
ed out thar by the corner of the pig
pen. | didn't git illustrated. | seen
the bar was pore in flesh, and
knowed his fur wasn't prime. 1t
amt no use to kill bar Jest fur
the sake of KILN. Besides, thar
was somethin' sort of cute lookin in
his face. As we looked at each
othor he cooked his ears and seem
ed to say:
Hello, Zeb White I've call
cd around to see yo'. WON'T be
wuth KILN fur two months yit, and
meanwhile, if yo' don't mind, wen
hev some fun
81 took it that he said that, and
the old woman took it that way,
too, and so | didn't skeer him off
He sauntered around fur a spell and
then disappeared, but l knowed
what he was up to. l had two hives
of bees, and he had marked 'em
down and would be back some
night after honey. 1t wasn't an
hour befo' | moved them hives out
of his reach and replaced 'em with
two hives filled with straw. shut
the old dog up in the house that
night, and long bout midnight he
begun to whine and growl. Jest
got to the windcr when the bar
showed up. He was arter that honey,
and he hadn't no time to waste
One hive wasn't huff fur him, and
he knocked both over as soon as he
got within reach and then made
ready fur feast. When he found
them hives hard packed with straw,
he knowed it was joke, and he sot
up and looked so shepish and mean
over it that laughed fur half an
hour. That bar went away feelin
hurt in his feelin's, but | was suah
he'd come back ag'n some other
night and try to pay me off.
81 had jest penned up a likely
pig, and that bar was bound to hev
pig meat if he couldn't hev honey.
He was suah to be back the next
night, and so | spent two hours
greasin the roof of the pen with soft
soap. When l was through, it was
so slippery that even claws wouldn't
take hold. On the second night,
bout II O'Clock, the bar showed
up ag'in. He had bin thinkin of
fresh pork all the afternoon and
had got hungry over it, and arter
one look around he climbed upon
the roof of the pen. 1t had steep
pitch to it, and it dropped off into
a gully, and that bar had skassly
got up before he was sldin down
like log Of wood. He shot off the
roof into the gully like a big ball,
and me and the old woman laughed
till the tears came. Three times
the bar tried it, and three times he
was dumped. yelled at him and
called him names, and his feelins
was hurt ag'n. He was so 'shamed
bout things that he wouldn't even
fight the dog.
81 knowed the varmint wouldn't
gin up that way, but would keep
comm back till he got sunthin. 1t
struck me that he'd go fur the chick
ehs next and so l had trap all
ready fur him. He was too cute to
step into it, and arter roamin around
fur awhile he went off. | laughed
at him and called him mighty
pore bar, and he appeared so lone
some over it that almost pitied
him. He didn't come back the
next night or the next, but on the
next night he showed up ag'in and
/ had another joke ready fur him.
1 had headed the old dawg up in a
stout bar' and then wrapped the
bar'l around with barbed wire. |
used up 200 feet of wire around
that bari and the barbs stuck out
like quilts of a porcupine. As soon
as the bar appeared the dawg began
to bark and raise fuss. don't
reckon that varmint had ever heard
of a dawg in a BARI befo' and Fam
suah he hadn't never met with no
barbed wire. lie jest walked around
to make sartin Of things and then
jumped in.
"Lemme tell yo' that thar was mo
fun in the next ten minits than
most bars and dawgs and folks hev
In a hull var. Bruin started in 10
bust that bari by huggin, but he
soon gin it up. Then he rolled j.,
bout but every time he struck 1.-THE
got a prick. Sometimes he'd chase