The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-09-26

Thlckly clad;
But If you
Have Il tigure-Why,
Words fail to tell
What meets the eye.
Dear woman.
Whatsoever it be
That makes the visions
Which we see,
Correct it.
Please, this very day,
And hold your skirts
Some other way.
-WiIi:m ]. hampton in Philadelphia North
American.
When THE Rogers Brothers in Central
Park" opened in Philadelphia Della FOX,
it is said received quite as much of an
ovation as the twin stars themselves.
The gags" perpetrated by the brothers,
however seemed to quite stir up the Qui-
ct Pennsylvania city.
Il bunco steerer is supposed to have
sold Central park to the brothers. two
guIlibe Germans The Rogers brothers
feel some considerable responsibility over
their property, and post the following
rules:
Nurse girls must report all babies who
step to talk to policemen. Don't throw
stones at the pairs under the trees. Don't
talk in the presence of the horses; they
carry tails. The wild animals will be
Saturday. Couples making love must
beware of the rubber plants" And so
on indefinitely.
''All the banners on Broad street are
for Mckinley and Roosevelt" remarks
Gus Rogers.
But banners don't VOTE replies the
aStute Max.
No: but they show which way the
wind blows" responds the first.
Here is another bit of philosophy: Il
don't need no friend says Max to his
brother; L can spend my money on my
SELF
but if you don't have 10 friends
says Gus. who's going to tell you all
the bad things about yourself?'
And another There's q storm brew
ing" says Augustus.
L wish it was beer" replies the thirsty
one.
Once" says Gus. II was with ship
After drifting about for ten hours we
saw a lighthouse. Oh, but we We're
glad. all but two men,"
Didn't they be glad of the light
house?' asks the babelike Max
No replies little brother. '',They
were Nixon & Zimmerman, and they
don't like light houses"
II YOU owe q man money, you have
10 pay him. yes?' says Max.
Yes" says ingenious Gus
We'll. you amt corporation
Gus" says the other one. your sis
ter Maggie is crazy about kissing"
How do You know?''
Il got it from her own lips
Il am afraid said the poet to the
editor, that you don't exactly grasp The.
depth of the ideas expressed in my blank
verse.
Perhaps not said the editor ''They
may be beyond my mental reach"
L think you wrong yourself said the
poet kindly. Let me test the point.
Here is line at random: She swiftly
passed him down the silent way. and i'll
her path subtle perfume fingered
There that doesn't seem confused to you,
does it?'
Not at all" replied the editor brisk
ly. that's easy. You are simply trying
down the pike. Plain Deal
er.
Coin the whole way, mister?'' in
Quired the passenger with the green
paratory to settling himself for cross
examination.
The party Intercepted eyed him atten-
lively, then replied:
NO: | get out at the third station. I
am going to collect some money due to
me for groceries supplied. You see. l am
Il wholesale grocer. The business was
left me by my father l am married and
have five children. The eldest is II years
old. | am exactly twelve years and nine
months married. | live in a semi-de-
tached house, rented at ZIG. My wife is
fair, and weighs twelve stone. She was
a dairymaid before | married her. and
has been vaccinated twice. My bank
book is worth $780, l was educated at
a public school,"
The man in the green necktie had
dissatisfied look as he inquired:
What did your greatgrandfather do
for living "-London Answers.
Hilton-"We hear a great deal about
the corrupt French stage; but | should
think it ought to be especially pure"
Tolman-"And what brings you to that
thinking%"
Hilton "There have been so many
vile plays taken from the French that It
does not seem possible the French cali
have many naughty plays left. Boston
Transcript
In an examination Of divinity students
for ordination, in England one candidate
was so poorly equipped for his mental
struggle that the bishop ordained him on
~ OH his promise to study Buffers
Analogy after ordination
The student was the guest of the bsh-
OPP; SO the next morning, when he depart
ed, the reverend gentleman shook his
hand cordially and said. as he did so:
"Goodby. Mr.. Greedy; don't forget the
Butler"
Il haven't, my lord" was the surpris-
ing answer. II just gave him five shil-
lings. Exchange.
Harriet when | said Speaking
about husbands what made you stop
cro;ll