davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-04-15
Exception.

Detroit Free Press.
Jaxon-Everybody seems to have the grip
these days
Paxon (dejectedly)-I seem to have lost
mine.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-04-15
Mammals Good Little Boy.
jewelers. Weekly.

jewelers. Weekly.
Tommy-Papa, my new watch has
stopped.
His Father-Have you wound it?
Tommy-No, papa. Mamma says it's
wrong to wound even the tiniest creature.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-04-15

Brookly Life.
why should we worry. Jack? Surely
the world owes us a living"
I'm afraid. though. that we are not on
the list Of preferred creditors"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-04-15
Unbelief.
Brooklyn Life.

bTUUKIyE IIIt.
Byles-Did you ever come across a more
conceited fellow than Bulger? They say
he is an atheist, and / believe he is.
Bonter-I wouldn't like to go so far as
that, but / do know that he doesn't recog-
nize the existence of a superior being.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-04-15
Philadelphia

Philadelphia Record.
New Consumer-How do you measure
gas?
Gas Clerk-B the foot, sir.
New Consumer-Bu our gas is never
turned up over three inches.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-04-15
A Smile J~ustfhable.
Springfield Republican.

II am convinced that the Office of Presi-
dent is not such a very difficult one to FILL"
Admiral Dewey.
William Mckinley, Grover Cleveland and
BENJAMIN Harrison may be pardoned a
SMILE
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-04-15
MIR. DooLEY DEFINES A POET.
He's q Man with Something to Say He
Hasn't Thought Out.

Ladies' Home Journal
The Archey Road Literary Club was
holding a meeting at Molly Donahue's, and
Mr.. Donahue and Mr.. Dooley engaged In
an analytical discussion of poets and
poetry:
why shud men, grown men, write
pothry?" Mr.. Donahue demanded, with a
great show of spirit.
Well said Mr.. Dooley, tits this way
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-04-15
CouIdn't Understand 1t.

I fell in love with your charming daugh-
ter"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-04-15
When the Sun Danced
CAN EASTER TALE,
BY JOHN HABBERToN.
copyright, 1900. by John Habbertonl


Copyright. 1900. by John Habberton.I
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-04-15

"Ob, I'm doin' it, with all my might"
Constructively Lie told the truth. He was
so tall that Connie, despite the box of earth
on which she stood. scarcely reached his
chin, so he could look over her raven hair
and down on her face. The point of view
was entirely new. and the view itself was
charming for its newness. Even the back
of the hand that shaded Comics eyes was
so slightly tina Lie hoped the solar obser-
walton might continue for hours.
"Do We see it?" Connie asked.
mot yet"
mo more do /, but you're that much
taller than /, So
"Ah. but you ought TO see it first. for
your eyes are the brightest an clearest in
all the world"
AN there's yer nonsense again."
Truths never nonsense. Besides. Of
course. you can see surer than I, for I'm
not standin' on Irish soil"
"An' 1 half wish I wasn't. for I'm that
sure that I'm crushing the life out of the
roots"
Then why don't you put less of your
weight on. themr"
IAN how would I do that?"
Easy enough" replied Lie. hypocritic-
ally. Sand on tiptoe. Don't you under
stand?"
THAT I do" said Connie innocently, AN
again it's the wonderful quick mind We
have. But"-here she balanced with some
uncertainty" tbs not as aisy standin' that
way"
Then rest harder against nee; let me
steady you, an you shan't know but you're
standing on afr. Then you give your whole
mind to the sun. IN have = heart-break
! e Q don't see him dance this mornin,.''
The St. Johns herald., 1900-11-03
MUST GIVE MOTHER WOOD.
se aaaam Bsslan Ia Bssueaahsa

Upon the condition that William Berlin, ss yearA old shall take good cars of his mother during her life time. and shall furnish her with all the Grewood made. ready for the stove" and coal that she may require. he is to receive farm of i25 acres at Palatine, Ill.,. from the estate of his Ihceased father. John c. Berlin. whose will was filed in the probate court at Chicago the other day.
 MT. Berlin died month ago. leay- ing real estate worth $6,100, the whole of which he devised to his widow. four sons and three daughters. But Will liam was n favorite son of the father. and he received the largest portion of the property upon the abave-named condition. The widow gets the home stead
 This clause of the instrument reads as follows: Provided my son. Will liam Berlin, shah be kindsto his moth CT. and, shall furnish her all the fire wood, made ready for the stove. or coai that she may require during her lifetime, or where she may require 1t. and he shall prepare and conduct the farm agreeable to the wishes of his mother, and shall deliver to her annu- ally one-fourth of all the proceeds from said farm in money after thresh- ing shall be dOne." t{;
 The will was drawn in I8o6. when William was 2S years old.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-11-03
PRAISES PARIS FAIR.
siAsR Over the Great Rz- p0sitI0A.-

n. R. De Young, of San Francisco, president of the board of United States commissioners to the Paris exposition, arrived at New York the other day oa the steamer New York. MT. De Young was most enthusiastic over the expoG1- tion, saying; 2-zF .E
 ''The Paris exposition Is the grestess the world has ever seen 1 say this un- qualiiedly, notwithstanding the many adverse criticisms which have been in- dutged in by many American visitors- In its display of manufactures. ia science, and in art the exhibition Is sim ply complete. There Is not line of anything used by man for transports tion, comfort. or luxury, in any branch of manufactures, which is lacking. Its educational value is practically ilimit- able. I fail to understand upon what are based the adverse criticisms in dulged in not only by visitors ignorant of expositions but by Intelligent and prominent citizens I am afraid many of these. have not observed carefully or st length.
 "1 am proud to say" he continued. "that Americans took 5000 awards. or one-third of the entire number award ed The Americans at the exposition were the most lavish entertainers Of any nation, and of the Americans the most enthusiastic hosts were the Cali fornians. The people from my state spent $i5o.OO0 in taking care of guests and friends TfaU the State had 6c1n as we'll as California there could be no criticism of the American showing ss the exposition"
The St. Johns herald., 1900-11-03
BREAKS, ALL RECORDS.
CiGar-shaDSa TSaRn I@vOntSd by . ChfcsgOan Makes S3 MAles
 an HouY.

The cigAr-khapsd train. invented by Fred U. Adams, of Chicago, smashed all records on the Philadelphia & Balti- more road ths other eyeKing when the run was made from Chestnut street station to Balt;mose in oRs haSr and co minutes. Daring part of the trip the train attaiRsd 8 speed et 8 miles an hour. It was exactly 5:3s o'clock when Mir. AdamS' sESetioE s&arted. The royal blae ksa COnA cut 23 sinutes earlier aud tbis skart wsS beAsve6 to be sufficient 70 e&AblS tk3 rssx1&E train 10 reach Baltimore akead of the cigar shaped flyer. The latter however, mad such remarkable tiRe that it caught the regular ana had ts slew down, los ing some minutes. The best time made heretofore between tAS tive cities r ss one boar aRe @ minutes. The en- zine which drew the Adams train weighed enly 55 tons, or 2S tons less than the fasS locomotives
The St. Johns herald., 1900-11-03
THB LATEST AnMRNT.
U ks misetes-Baaitss, sf . snsssfnG ooiA, Cessed by sAs Flee.
 eRSs TaM.

4 brand-new hot weather siiment has whirled into existence, says the Philadelphia North American.
 It is electro-fanitis. Perhaps you have got it, as no class is immune.
 It's a sneezing, coughing cold in the head caused by the gersa-laden oreezes of the electric fan
 1t Is almost epidemic in Philadel- phia. If you are a victim hurry to physician or drug store and ask for powerful anti-phlogistic remedy. That is, something to relieve inflammation of the mucous membrane of the head, which Is what electro-fanitis Is.
 This name, by the way, has been agreed upon by eminent medico-phil- ologists. The affix .'itis," meaning "in- hammation," was selected because it is the term which of late years has been applied to all new infammatory ailments. It may be pronouced either e-tis, like in each. or i-tis, like in idol.
 Uniess promptly cured e,ectro-fanitis may develop into the two other dis eases of the same famiiy-tonsiiitis and bronchitis.
 The victims of the new ailment in- clude bankers. merchants. clerks. steneSraphers, barbsrs, and in fact every class of people who perform in-' door work, where electric 1Ans are in operation. Patrons of restaurants, upon whose heads the artificial breeze generators are played while they eat. also form ( large proportion of the sufferers. r5s
 Physicians report that the majority of complaints come from barbers, who stand for hours at time under the whirring fans. Many of theIr custom CTS are also affected. Among the city officers dozens of cases exist: za The most. distressing and annoying characteristic of electre-fanitis is thats it is never. contracted except in hot weather and. there is nothing more distressing than summer cold Be- ing caused by artificial atmospheric conditions. it is much more ditncult to cure than an ordinary cold. j. F
 Dr. P. F. Cleaver, of this city, de- scrihes the causes end peculiarities of the complaint as follows: E
 'The principal reason why the air currents produced hy electric fans so readily cause inflammation of the rnu- cous membrane of the head is that the drafts are sudden and easily in- press the system of the patient, whose vitality has already been lowered by the heat.
 'Tben these currents of air are not the fresh waves of ozone which are in circulation outdoors. The artificial breezes are nothing but impure air forced into motion. A steady blowing wind at the seashore would not affect the membrane. whereas the whir'@sG. electric breezes cause inflammation. The patient who is suffering from tho latter cause ought to secure prompt treatment. Teh coal tar preparations are about the best remedy"
The St. Johns herald., 1900-11-03
BURNS ARMIES OR wARsH1ps.
Prof. rAas~ovs. . Seattle BEAa. wants 0ovsr1meAt to Use His IdsS
 ia ChiRA.

J c. Sharn sak Lake City busi- nsss man, is financial packer of an Invention which it is claimed will bsrn up armies or melt FarshipsI af xaas Mfiss by means of conoentrsted kext of the sun's rays. Prof Julius 1autrcve. of Seattle. is the invehtoP sf t4ks deSiee. which wifi be offered to ths wes department for use in China.
 ''This seems unreasonable at frst,| said Mr. Sharp, ''but when you con slder that q small hand sun glass will coneertTate enough heat to set fire to pspeT CT cloth the possibility of an flnmease device can be morc easily reslizsA T1Ee plsA is to use not an Ordinary leGs. but plate glass ar szARed fn s1cA a way that it con eentrGtss 9r insrnense number Of rays srd Shrcws them a great distance. Ths Saethe4 cf arrangement consti- flutes the sesret of the discovery. For eonHersssi use hsat exn be concen- fraHea Qn6 se0Te4 rn experiments ir seattss FeoA TEMeFuwe was able with pleses sf sia1S ten inches square to soil water iH foar nifrutes in . tea bsesae sct sA . cake Of ice -Se feet dis tsnt. At tse same time board was ignitea sfncse issstaneSy. RyAiucreas- ing tAe ase cf the plstes there is no' Rrnit SS th9 voEsiofiitieO>"
The St. Johns herald., 1900-11-03
MINISTER HAS A QUEER CAT.
4 Kew YOsk Pet That Can Tell aH ~as Ho@s" Day aAa kAows
 His AatL


 Net the least importans dwellef in the home of the pastor of popular and fashionable uptown New York church is a maltese cat, beautifully marked and of rare breed, which shall be called Jim. That is not the real name of this household pet, who wo'iid probably scorn so common a one as Jim, but there are reasons why he should not be too closely identified. Jim Is no common cat. He knows his friends among the callers at the home of the minister, and those to whom he does not take fancy are pretty apt to find 1t out. He knows the "at home" day as well as any member of the fam- fly, and on that day takes prominent place on the divan, ready to receive the attentions of those of the callers whom he numbers among his friends and purr his satisfaction when they fondle him. says New York paper.
 This minister had occasion to move his residence short time ago, and of course Jim moved with the family. He did not seem to like the new place. He went from room to room, looked care fpuly at the wall papers, seemed 10 sniff at them as though they did not meet hts approval, and then he aiEap- peared. An hour later he appeared again, sotnewhA Battered and bruised, took another look at the wall decora- tiops and seemed to decide that, unsat- iefactory though they were, it was bet ter to end ufe them than the perils to be encountered abroad + 5 E Next door to the old home of the minister lived woman who was very fond of Jim ahd-who regretted the cir. cumstances, that brought about a change ofresidencs. She wrote letter the other day and addressed 1t. to Jim" This letter was placed by a maid on hatrack in the hall. along with the other letters delivered at the same time. Jim seemed to know this letter was intended for him. because when a member. of the family came downstairs that morning he was found trying to tear open the envelope. Strangely enough. he had never taken such liberty with a letter before that time and has not disturbed any letter since. 3t @
 Although Jim has lived all his life in the home of a minister. he does not always show that humility which would naturally be expected. He likes to make visits, but DO other cat is al- lowed on his premises. Next door to Jim's home is house he loves to visit. He will roam all through it and play with the cat which comes there. but the other day when. the neighbours cat came, as if to return call, Jim met him at the door, hit him on the side of the head with paw and marched proudly up the stairs, as though he had done something worthy the pet of . minister's household.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-11-03
CAN you AFFoR } to be without your County PapeF7
INDIANS WILL BE ENROLLED.
1tst ef Freedmen in the CAero&es Hatteu Co De Made bY the
 C0nmfelf0m.

The United States commission to the Five Civilized Tribes has arrived ct 6aIiisaw l. T., and will begin making a roll of freedmen citizens of the Cherokee nation. At Bunch, I. T., where fhe commission was at work last. the full-blood Cherokee Indians showed a disposition not to Dc enrolled, and as a consequence not many names were registered at that place from the ranks of the full bioods.
 It has been easy to determine who were the blood citizens and intermar- rfed and adopted citizensT because their names were either upon the duly authenticated rolls of 1880 or they had certificates duly attested showing Shefr admission, but with the freed men citizens the matter is entirely dif- ferent. s
 All freedmen who returned to and resided in the Cherokee nation within six months after the ratification of the treaty of 1866 were allowed to share equally with the Cherokees in the final distribution of the lands and rnoneys cf the tribe. Several rolls of freedmen have been made, but none has been satisfactory.
 The last roll, known as the Clifton roll, eontains the names of about 4,6oo negroes and not more than 2,oO0 arc entitled to enrolment. The work of making the freedmen roll ct Sallisaw will be watched with great interest by the Cherokees. The burden of proof is on the freedman to prove that he had returned to the Cherokee nation with in the required time in 1868. A wit ness to be competent to testify in these eases will have to be well up in age.
 This work will require the attend &nce of nearly an of the oldest citizens in the nation at the various sittings Of the commission.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-11-03
RIVAL TO vAHDERBnr.
Resurns ts UnNsd states wxfA MscAaEes wtfA Which Hs
 n Aazsoxa te Rase. a

Ansng the first passengers to land S-vm tAs Whfes Star liner Teutonicr wAleA rsesAs& its pier few nin- Utss sfssR i've s'eso6ss in tho afuer- nsn. wus ABss4 C. BostwiSis, sn aH- tsmshlHs$ weH kaowEr in New York anA psriA Bes. Bss<Wfek wac rersrt~ ea to ksve SrssgsS win AiSs 6 n.a, Shiws with which ks tnten<e4 ts chaE~ Ienes WilneM n. ves6srNih, Jr.. the swnss se the =1sssxs astcGnosile in
 Nr. Bsstwlsk brsusks back with Esn 10 lees thsa Ave autos. One of them is . Wizten machine, which he recently teek ssresa with him to fesA sesfnst the best p.oducss of rrezeA aesgnsFs. Is t-lfifIed an his expectations. He als8 brought back fhrcs yoitursttca 0f different designs. The machine, however, v.itA which he kspss se break all AHnsrieaa records, ;o c racing wrzder which ko pur- chssrd from tks Chsvsier do Kuyf company for e1s,eoo.
 ss1t is net true," said MT. Bostw1ck. "fh9t have sent s challenge to MrF Vanderbilt e that kaye determined to ds se. I will say. however, that if Mr. Vanderbilt or asy other anna teur desires to try speed conclusions with me shell be glad to accommo-- date kimr <
The St. Johns herald., 1900-11-03
CHASED BY A CINNAMON BEAR
ThstiIGAg Experience of HuafSn9 Party 0a e Colorado
 RailwaY.

Robert Martin. wsll-known hunt. CT and cattleman of Archuleta county, Col. arrived at Denver the other day and related an experience that he had just passed through with a big cin- namon bear. Martin was with 6 Rio Grand section gang in Cumbres pass repairing ties and travelling by means of . handcar. Work had hardly com
 mencsd before 6 little cinnamon bear appeared in search of its mother. The men captured the cub after strategic moves and tied him to the handcar, which was put on the track. He immediately commenced to howl for the dam, and in e few minutes e big, lean, lsnk mother made her app pearance and started for her cnb with blood In her eye. The men imn,edi7 ately rushed the car toward the down gra6a and started to work. with the bear ten feet behind. The harder the mon worked the faster the bear ran. and Martin, who YVES sitting with his feet hanging over the rear Of the car had one shoe torn off by her claYvs in a ssndden .Epnrt. Another jump and the dam almost made the car, but fell, but was on her feet in 6 moment. For three miles the bear chased the car on down grade and was only stopped by a gulch trestle. The cub remained the section mems trophy.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-11-03
TO COUNT FILIPINOS.
Census of the Islands of the Group
 Go Be Taken.
Effort So DstoTmans the Exact Pepus lation of ths AFchiDelagO' tss wealth and Social Conditions
 Co De Made.

Within 6 short time . censuR of the Philippine islands will be taken to de- termine the exact population Of the archipelago, to ascertain the wealth of the islands, and for the purpose of throwing light upon the social con6i- tions existing in Uncle Sam's newly ac- quired eastern possessions. Prof. Carl C. Plehm, of the University of Califor- nia, supervisor of the census of San Francisco, has been appointed by the Philippine commission to take the cen sus.
 This work will be done subject to the requirements of the military situation Its cost will be defrayed from the lnsu- lar revenues, and it's territorial limits, as well as all details of the work, will be determined by the military govern Inent. IL is posSi bie. Owever, that the census of the whole archipelago cannot be obtained owing to the unsettled state Of affairs.
 The diE1cuity which will be encoan- tered in taking the census of the Philip 2 nes will Ds S-en at glance. when it is known that there are S4 tribes in the archipelago, nearly all of whom speak a different tongue. It ia anticipated that the enumerators. many of whom will be natives of the islands, will meet with many obstacles owing to the ig. norance of the people. and it is feared that the first census taken ct the Phil ippine islands by the United States will not be of much value, although care will be taken to secure the most accu- rate information possible.
 It is estimated that the population of the Philippines numbers from 6.c<I3 GOO to 9.O9o, ,O00 persona. but reliable csn- Sus of the Philippines has never been taken. as Spanish official statistics are notoriously unreliable.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-11-03
GERMANY'S pREDIcAMENr.
UnaAIs to Get EnOaKh Canned Meat- Situation WilI Be Worse When
 Exclusion Act Is in Force.

Packing interests of Chicago and the west will be interested in nowing.t that Germany is experiencing great difficult " in securing an ample supply of canned meats before the proposed ex- ciGsion goes into effect, and the indi- ca,ons are that there will be much greater difficulty in supplying this de- mand when that obnoxious law be- comes operative. 1t is we'll known that
 he German government is opp @d 10 the exclusion of meats of th;S ] 1 well as those of other descT.p.!onS. but it was compelled to enact res lrict- i've measures to satisfy the demands Of the ara riaDS.
 Acco.cing to Consul Pitcairn. the America consul at Hamburg, the naval su aoli,jes at Kiel are compelled to buy canned meats whose import is to hs excluded on account of alleged inn purities dangerous to the lives of con- sumers at high price from foreign countries because of the inability of Germany to supply home demands. In consequence of this exclusion the pro- vlsloDing Of troops for Cnlna haS been greatly interfered with.
 The comhlissary department at Kiel has been trying in vain to buy boiled and corned beef for supplying the nay. because all the stock that remained of canned meats has already been subj jxct to the levy of duty, and it will there fore be necessary for it to turn to Eng fish and other foreign markets in or der to obtain necessary quantitiea.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-11-03
TESLA ON wnLor's THEORY.
Says That the Idea of tAs Preach man Is Not New-8artA Aets
 Like Wire.

Nikola Tesla was seen the oener morning in reference to the statements of the French electrician, M HilIot- who said that electrical messages are transmitted through the earth. not through the air. M Willot holds that the ether wave theory has been dis proved, and that eonduetion throrgh the earth is the real means or trans mission In his practice M- Wllos means apparently to use deep sh3fts as starting stations, transmitting hls currents through different geological strata, suited by their deDsity to eur rents of different intensity.
 'TThe idea of the French engineer is- not novel," said MT. Tesla He pro poAes to transmit through the ground, connecting the transmitter at two points at different depths. The amount of energy so transmitted to a distance Is limited. and much more can be con veyed by simply connecting the trans- hitter to two distant points of the earth's surface. The latter scheme is much nearer perfect than that pre- posed by the French engineer. But far more energy can be transmitted to distance by merely connecting one pole of the transmitter to the ground and the other to a metallic plate o< wire elevated above ground. That the earth acts entirely like an ordinary wire 1 have demonstrated recently by producing stationary electrical waves These waves virtually mean that tAs waves produced by my apparatus hsve spread all over the globe, result which in my earlier writings predicted"
The St. Johns herald., 1900-11-03
NEW PLAN IN FRANCE.
eSament for the Ssttlement of [iaausfrSaH Dtsputes.

A dispatch to the New York Times from Paris says: A ministerial order of interest to Americans now, in, view of the strikes in PennsylYania, has just been issued by the French minister of commerce. This decree creates bodies to be known as labor councils. whose purpose it win be to settle disputes be- tween labor and capital.
 The councils are to consist of an equal number of workmen and em- ployers. but the workmen must belong to the recognized labor unions.
 This last elauseis likely to create diff faculties. as the majority of French la- borers do not belong to unions. If this defect can be overcome 1t is believed that these councils provide ready means of settlement of labor disputes, thus avoiding strikes.