The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-12-29
DEATH IN A srIL OF FARE
Ths Dyspspsia-bSssdiAs Banquet
That Was Given to = Ban
Tsansises Dsstss.


Recently there took place In San
Francisco . most regrettabls AFFAIR.
This was Q dinner TO DR.. n Beverly
Cola. By the term "regrsttable." says
the San Francisco Argonaut I'VE do
not mean that there was any scandal
u happening at this feast. The re-
gret il because the leading medicos Of
California should Get suoh q dreadful
example 70 their patients, The menu
Of this dinner 10 calculated TO stagger
GarEantuA, This dreadful bill Of fare
began with "canapes d'Anchois ct Dc
eaviars," anaksd BY olives and sailed
almonds. This combination 10 art
fully designed 10 create . dreadful
thirst, which IL always succeeds in do
ing. Next comes 'graps fruit 81
e~srise, au M~aurasquin." Many wise
doctors assure us that the grape fruit
10 unAt for human consumption by
reason OF Its sxosss OF free acid; com
plieatsd with cherry Juice and Mara
schino II must act something like
pickles aud milk. Next on the bill r
"bius points sur coquille," washed
down with "Guntsrsblumsr"-which
we take to be some sort Of California
Rhine wine, little brother to the Rhine
wins Of the Rhine. This soup Ia clear
green turtle" which Ia followed By
"crsbs q PUnlverss club" Crabi-A
this reads like q grim jest. We're these
doctors bent upon sslf-dsstruction,
that they should thus run up against
crAb?-crab which Aprists up the lilo
coeeal ~valve-crab which causes intus-
SUBSCRIPTION Of the jejunum-erab
which makes kinks in ones insidesf
To give the crab lite most potent effect
IL yves washed down with Mira Vale"
grand vim. Doubles the fannie acid
in this wine was intended to intensity
the nrulence OF the crab. "For this
be sure tonight thou shalt have
cramps"
Following these potent viands come
severallessdeadly such az IRIS de Veau
piques aux Champignons frais," "petits
pois ~nouveaux." "~noissttes d'agneau
de Printempts, q Ia Moslle," "fond
d'artichaut, Macedoin"-dsinty little
k~ickshaws, but convertible into pep.
tones with great difficulty. These were
succeeded by punch a la Beverly
Cole" Again, for the u~ninitiated, W,
may explain that this so-called punch
is not like a whisky or rum punch
but Is an icy and deceptive compound
%eleverly coneocttd for the purpose Of
clarifying the palate; sometimes II il
q water ice. sometimes a sherbet with
various havorings, but In every cas-,
the end is the same-to clear away, q
Il were. the numerous ilayors of tn,
earlier part of the renast and to Civ
the slightly tagging diner a new
start in the last lap. In this cas-
the lap began with "Perrisr-Joue
magnums." Again, for the uniniti
atsd, we may explain that 'magnumsl
two-quart bottles and are 70
gentlemen who find quarts made
quats.
After their slight collation. had pro
ceeded thus far the dietetlc doctor
fell to on ~"canvas back duck wit
hominy eroquetteS" and celery may
onnsise." after which they had "glac
d'abhcotine," "petits fours ~Assortis,
"fromage de Brie ct stilton," "cafe,
"cigars" and "~liqueurs." How ca
these gormandlzine doctors ever fac
their patients? These hippocrati
~hypocritss are continually telling pc,
pie mot TO eat too much," ITO "a
plain food mot to take too niue
liquid with their meals" 10 take bt
one kind Of wine az q time" ito avoi
liquors and punches" ito esche'
sweets and made dishes." With n
foregoing bill OF fare on record CO
they ever look their patients In u
face again?