The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1900-12-18

It~Ht~N--f+r
Pittsburg Post.
THE yalley-dictorian generally
strives for the heights Of eloquence.
-Yonkers Gazette
SOME men never cut much Of a fig-
ure until they have been made an
example Of. Troy Press.
TIE balance of trade in the skirt
dancing business has again turn ed in
our favor. Washington Post
APPROPRIATED enough In many
cases the husbands Of grass widows
are straw men. Philadelphia Times
ROMEO was 50 madly in love thatit
was no wonder he gave the core Of
his heart TO the apple Of his eye. II
Buffalo Courier.
THE Chicago papers are trying to
give Thomas lessons in music, but he
appears To take no note OF them
indianapolis News
'I'M not in it, murmured the
crinoline girl as she gazed at the
hoopskirt in a prominent store
Philadelphia Record.
II is a long lane that has no turn
ing, but the broker who is on the
outside often finds 1t hard to geJ
around the corner Buffalo Courier.
SUIroR-l have come, sir to ask
you to give me your daughters hand.
Paterfamilias-Why, sir, when ! last
saw it, it was in your possession. ~
Chips.
THE West viii blow. II now tries
to offset the big horsedy Of the East
by referring to the househy common
there in the cyclone season. -Phila-
delphia Times
BEATRIcE-I hear that Mr.. Sapley
is suffering from brain-feyer. Jones
II guess not He hasn't the raw
material necessary for brain-fever-
Brooklyn Life
WHILE division fence isn't the
most sensational OF exciting thing in
the world it frequently furnishes the
neighbors something to talk over
Buffalo Courier.
MoTHER-C Children, have you said
your prayers? Tilly-Yes, mamma.
-You were very quick about It. 4" Il
prayed one half and Daisy the other
Texas siftings
THE Debutante (aside)-How many
verses shall / sings The Professor
Do you want an encore? The Debu
tant-Of course. The Professor
One. Boston Budget
DUDELErGH - @You don't know
what you are talking about when you
call me a donkey" Miss Kitty
Fresh-~Yes ! do. used to own a
donkey. Brooklyn Life.
BRIGGs-What did you tell your
wife when you got home so late Tues
day night? Brags-I told her she
was the sweetest woman in the
world. indianapolis Journal.
HoUsENLoT-"T "This scare is non
sense. The country is ali right.
Don't doubt ii; but
what's troubling me is how to get
money enough 70 enjoy it. Vogue
MRS TnnIINs to her caller)-Yes,
/ was connected with the Board Of
Lady Managers. Mr.. Timmins (whO
has entered unperceived) ~ Hsb,
Maria. Let the dead past be for
gotten.
CONGREssMAN BOATNER is the fast
est talker ia the House. so much So
that the stenographers ind many an
impedimcnt In his speech after they
have taken it down. Philadelphia
Ledger
JERsEYafAN Il Monmouth county
has several voters over a hundred
years old Stranger--Welii Well.
Not many railroad crossings at grade
there presume New York
Weekly.
AN eminent physician says it is
often dangerous to lie on the right
side. 1T is also unnecessary Any
political speaker or writer knows the
wrong side needs the lying, II amy
Buffalo Courier
~Tms check is wrong. Ny beef is
down for ffty cents. when the bill Of
fare say forty" aY0u ordered il
rare. sir Well, what II I dids"
You've got TO pay for raIetles, sir
-Harper's Bazar.
CARLro1 GATEs-@Are you SO hard
up?' TIamp-"Hard ups Why,
boss, II suits Of clothes wuz sellin at
cent a piece I wouldn't have
enough TO buy the afmhole Of a vest.
Smith, Gray & Co s Monthly.
ToNNY's Mother-P=haw. Tommy.
You oughtn't to have been frightened
because the yacht rocked a little.
Look az Little Cousin Nellie: she
wasn't scared a bit Tommy-No
wonder; she had me there to look
after her.
LAwYER-What change did YOU
lrst notice ia the patient as a result
OF his acquiring the cigarette and
morphine habit9 Well. at
drst be began talking incoherently.
and then he took to wearing pink
shirts -Chicago Record
MoLLIE had teen to church fer the
first time, and on her return home
her grandmother asked her what she
thought OF il Il lihsd it very
much. she replied, -but there was
one thing I difff fhfnr was fafr