The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-12-13

DECEMBER Is, 1900
and was trying to earn a living with
his pen and through the Laramie post
nastership, which he had just re-
ceived.''
But finally he did go on the lecture
platform.
Once in Bridgeport. Conn, where he
had been engaged to lecture for $50,
the committee haggled with him after
the lecture and tried 10 beat him down.
He was perfectly patient, but insisted
on his terms until he got the cash.
Then he said:
Gentlemen suppose you delayed
making this payment and decoyed me
IN here for the purpose OF making me
angry, thinking that when you gave
me this money ! would fling it into your
faces in q mad lit. You are mistaken
I'm q good-tempered man.
Nye and Riley, when they lectured
toy ther, were advertised as the "LWlhs
OF Genius" Riley and Nye played jokes
on each other continually. In smok-
ing car between Columbus and Cincin-
natl an Old farmer came to Nye and
said
Are you Mr.. Riley? heard you was
on the train
mo. I am not AIr. Riley He is over
there"
4 knew his father, and 1 would like
to speak with him
oh speak with him, yes. But he is
deaf, and YOU want to speak loud
So the farmer went over to Riley ana
yelled:
rs this Mr.. Riley?"
'E-. what?"
rs this Mr.. Riiey?"
What did you say2'
us this Mr.. Riley?"
Riley: oh, yes.
81 knew your father
| mo bother"
Il knew your father"
| ''Nhat2
! "I knew YOUR father."
! "Oh, so d:d l."
Here are some extracts from Bill
/ Nye's letters to Major Pond:
Here I am slowly freezing to death
| as / write these lines. The stove IS a
/ boys size. holding pint of soft coal.
| The bed has no sheets or pillow slips,
| bug the chamber maid, who comes IN
| every snring-intO the room, 1 mean
says they expect some sheets some time
! today, and tells me that no expense
| will be spared to make the hotel 4 sue
/ cess.
TT is a great. pleasure to get your
J letters when 1 land at a lonesome no
/ tel which smells like the Dead Past
and cabbage
: From Buffalo he writes:
+ Coo bless you as the Teller says,
/ for your kind. but wabbly heart We
are al the - hotel. because it is abso-
IuteIy freuroof. We noticed that in
( Lynn and Boston the absolutely fire.
proof buildings were a little hotter
Will. burning, and so we have chosen
I one for winter use whenever We could"
Another Letter.
Il an writing this at an imitation
/ hotel where the road forks. 1 viii call
Z il tho Fifth Avenue, because the motel
! az railroad junction is generally call
( ed the Fifth Avenue or the Gem city
/ House or the Palace hotel, just as me
{ fond parent Of a white-eyed. two
/ legged freak of nature loves to name
/ his mentally diluted son Napoleon, and
for the sa-,e reason that a prominent
: HORSEPOWER in Illinois last year s9cked
ns name on a tall buckskin cOlorei
/ colt that cid not resemble me-iDtel-
+ lectually or physlcaliy-a colt that did
not know enough to go around a Dar0-
/ wire fence. but sought 10 sift himself
I through il into an untimely grave-sO
+ this man has named his sWaybacked
( wiswam the Fifth Avenue hotel
! 1T is different from your Fifth Ave
/ nue. in many ways. In the first place
/ there is not so much travel and bust
! ness in its neighborhOOd. As 1 said
! before, this is where two railroads fork.
, IN fact, II is the leading industry here.
j The growth Of the town IS naturally
slow, but il is a healthy growth. There
J Is GOLAt1ilS III Ailt Ia I'll . VI udLECA OUl
or wildcat speculation in this place,
and while there has been no noticeable
I or rapid advance IN the principal bust
! ness here. there has been no falling off
at all. and the roads are fOrking as
much today as they did before the war,
while the same three men who were
present at the first glad moment are
still here to witness the operation.
/ Sometimes a train is derailed, as the
papers call II, and two OF LhTee people
have to remain over as we did, all
night. 1t is at such Il time the Fifth
Avenue hotel is a scene OF great excite
ment. A large codhsh with broad
and sunny smile, and his bosom full OF
rock salt, is tied in the creek to fresher
and fit himself for the responsible posi-
ton Of floor manager Of the Goldfish
ball. A pale chambermaid, wearing a
black jersey with large pores in it
through which she is gently percolat-
q ing. now goes jOyously up the stairs
to make the little postofTfce Iock-boX
rooms look worse than they ever did
! before. She MARBLES a low refrain as
/ she nimbly knocks loose the venerable
! dust of centuries and sets it afloat
throughout the house. All is hustle
about the house. Especially the cham
bermaid. We are put up in the guests
! chamber here. 1t has two atTophied
beds, made I'D Of pains and counter
panes. The light, Joyous feeling which
this remark may convey is wholly as
/ sumed on my part.
/ The door Of our room is full of holes
/ where locks have been wrenched off In
order TO let the coroner in. Last night
/ I could imagine that I was in the act
/ of meeting, personally, the famous peo-
pie who have tried to sleep here, and
I who moaned through the night and
died while waiting Tor the dawn.
This afternoon we pay our bills, as
( is our usual custom. and tear ourselves
/ away from the Fifth Avenue hotel
/ Hoping the roads may continue to fOrh
! just the same as though we had re-
manned and that this viii find you en-
/ joying yourself, I am, yours truly,
EDGAR WILSON NYE."