Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1900-08-11
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

BET the judge called him doSgn
With terrible frown.
And the y0Ungster stalked out in Il TO-
New Teacher-"Next boy. what's your
name?'
Boy-"William, ms am
What is your other Manner
'Scrappy Bill philadelphia Rec
ord
Mrs. Heuser-"W What a strong express
sion of annoyance is on Mr.. Daintley' )
faee..''
Mr.. Housewives. He looks rs if he
were smelling moth balls "-Harper's
Bazaar.
Hodge-'I've got sui. of clothes for
every day in the week" Podge (suspi-
ciously)-"I never see you wear any but
the one you have on now" Hodge
tcheerfuly) That's the suit. Town
Topics.
At Garden Party.-Miss Vera Classic
How many languages do you speak? %
Mr. Orr ID. "Six-English, baby
talk. bill-of-fare French, society gable,
baseball dialect and clearinghouse
talk New York Herald.
My mother-in-law has gone to the
mountains"
You look pleased
YES: she'll have to admit she has
found something that she can't walk
over. "-lndianapolis Journal.
THE LADY AND THE LODGER.
There was an old woman Of Ga,
Who took q young man for n Ii,
When she asked for her pay
The man ran away,
And Is trying his best now to da.
FIX.
Didn't OF see yez takin' two
roun' o tn ladder Wi one step?"
Casey-"Yis, sor.'
Boss-"Ye're discharged for incompe-
tency. Didn't We know this jobs being
done be tn r?"-Colorado Springs
Gazette.
A Matter of Necessity-Wi fe-"John.
you don't mean to tell me that you shot
this poor little bird with that great big
gun| Husband-"Ies. dear, I'm sorry
to say | had to- | couldn't get near
enough to put salt on its tail "-Phila-
delphia Press.
Prof. Wise-'I understand that it is .
fascinating. game. l am almost afraid
TO learn it,"
Prof. Brayne-"So am |. A friend Of
mino learned it and he spends lot Of
time at it which he really ought TO de-
vote to bugs Puck.
New Reporter tired out)-"Today is
Saturday, and you know this state has
Saturday half-holiday law which,"
City Editor-"By links! | nearly for
umn article on how the day is being OBJ
served. New York Weekly.
Look here, sirr' exclaimed the maid
en- lady. Il want you to take back that
parrot you sold me. | find that it
SwearSS very badly" We'll, madam"
bird; it'll learn to swear more perfect
when it's bit older. PHILADELPHIA
Press.
With the Same Regularity. Jacob
Montelheimtr-"Ain dot Isador Prop
stein peach, Ikey?'
lhs'rUc Bernsc1iITiled't- vH peach &.
Chakey,. he's de whole peach CROP
Wy! Wy, cause every year don'd yon
hear how he has failed?'
Say, ma, the gentleman who is sitting
opposite us danced with me several times
do you think that would justify me in
thinking that he may have serious intcn-
tons toward me?'
NO, my child. You see that he's care
fully folding up his napkin-the monster
is marred!'-Fliegende Blaetter.
Mr.. Flyhigh-"Of course, you're well
acquainted with the country round about
here Do you know Glen Accron ?"
Native-"Aye,. weel." Mr.. Flyhigh (who
has just bought the estate)- "What sort
Of place is it, in your Opinion?" well,
if We saw the dell tethered on t, ye'd
Just say, Puir brute. GLASGOW Even
ing Times
a paper in Missouri town tells of a
girl who played the piano at a social
gathering recently. and gave some Sc
lectionS from Beethoven. When she
got through there was strange silence.
and she turned around to find everyone
in faint. 1t was the first music they
had heard that was not ragtime in sew
cnreen months.
Mrs. A. (before the full-length portrait
of girll-"Oh, if | only knew the painter
OF this Artist stepping forward joy
fullyl-"Permit me, madam, to introduce
myself as the painter what extraor-
binary good luck. Now you will tell me
wont yOu-the address of the dress
maker who made this girls frock p
Philadelphia Press.
The CHASTITY rider on the white horse
stopped at the gate. Il am Death" he
said to the sick man who was watching
from the window. You are welcome"
replied the latter. and added. in a whis-
per: IF you value your life, don't let
my wife see you tying your horse to that
tree. Shed never let anybody do that"
Philadelphia Press.
Not so Sudden. Harry |
asked her if she would be mine. she fell
on my breast and sobbed like a child,
but finally she put her arms around my
ACNh anu whispered tflui she was so nab
Ply" Harriet-"Ycs, that is what she
told me she was going to do: she has
been practicing it with Cousin Tom for
ever and ever so long. Boston Evening
Transcript.
The Widower-'T wish to speak to the
spirit of my dear, departed wife"
The Spiritualist-"What do you wish
to know
The Widower-"I want to ask her if
she has any objections to me getting
married again"
The Spiritualist (hotly)-"Then, sir
YOU can so somewhere else to do III m
have no Scrapping. Puck.
When | went to arrest the cashier I
found him defiant
What evidence have YOU" he demand.
ed. that am the superintendent of a
Sabbath schoOlg'
The shortage in your accounts" said
l. quietly.
think the fellow was staggered bv
this, for he trembled as | snapped the
bracelets on his wrists.-Detroit Journal
"Th' las time | wuz in New York
wuz thirty-threc years ago. OF Bill
Tweed wuz alive then
Did We git to see him."
Mop. But there wuz a young Teller
there that said he wuz Bills nephew. an