The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-03-10
+ HOMEMADE PHILOSOPHY.

: E,.
Deep ard rugged lines make lastin'
landmarks. ~ .
The path ov pleasure too often winds
around to a world ov woe.
Wotever you boiler into the valley
will cum back in the eckho. Don't ex-
pect oppreshun to bring back love.
No odds how hard a man strains at
prayer, he can't lift hisself to heaven
with the profits ov under-paid labor in
his pocket.
Conscience has a CRATE time pre-
ventin' our self-esteem frum fatterin'
us inter thinhin' we are awl wool and
yard WIDE
God made the country grow from the
seed. The town and city il a graft,
added by man hoo liked bad fruit
better than the good.
When you see a patent medicin' ad-
verified in the newspapers, you kin
bet on it that it hazent coored enuff
people to live without ink.
The bullfrog never sings a song ov
sorrer, becaws his sole IL full ov the
singin' wen the frosts appear.
1t il almost az hard to took about
the meanness ov the wife man, without
gettin' mad, as it il to took about the
meanness of the devil without gettin'
skeert.
Thare izen't mulch difference be-
tween slave hoo il fed and housed,
and the free man hoo gifts jist anuff
wages to buy, the same thing, after
great deal of skimpin'.
Sum men never kwit tryin' to sling
a bull up hill by the tail. They vote
their enemeeze inter orfice and their
brothers inter Jail, and then wonder
where liberty has gone to.
If publishers would print the stuff
that goze inter the waste baskit for one
month, hull lct'of naborhood skandal
wud git aired; and sum of the air-holes
wud be found in the editor.
History il only record of the tearin'
down and the bildin' up eternally goin'
on in natyoore's carpenter shop. Sum-
TIME men are gittin' tore down and
sumtimze gittin' blowed up in the
story
The charms of solitood weary and
grow melank0lly to the man hoo still
loves humanity Only the man hoo
kin find pleasure nowhare else, turns
to the silence of solitcod and tries to
amuze himself with his own dreams.
Hope IL alters tellin' SIGH tale ov
fattery that when she leaves us for a
moment, and we see the world throo
our hopeless ize in awl her rugged
and rigid ugliness, we want to lay
down and die without any more strug-
gle.
After man liz abull to look throo
the vail ov f1xshun that surrounds him,
he kin look away millyuns ov miles
inter the universe, until natyure me1ts
itself inter eternity, and the billyuns
ov words still coltinyoo to bob up Sc
renely.
Men are outgrowing creeds and steer
youtypt artickles ov faith, and want to
study God in the CRATE big book ov
natyoore. Men hoo hunger and suffer
together, and struggle together fur
ouAIuAu USLLc1, are S1LILA uedIGE W
God aWl the time
When the people of a naborhood git
together and condem' a public man hoo
crowd up among them, thay hope to
check his growth. Thay forgit that
the outside world continyuze to nour-
ish him, even tho his nabors cut off all
the home roots with thare grub-hoe ov
envy.
If a man beats his mule, he il ar
rested and fined twenty-five big, round
dollars. If he beats his wife, she keeps
her mouth shut and the world never
finds it out. That's one difference be-
tween a wife and mule, which
makes it cheeper to keep wife than it
duz a mule.