Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-06-23
Mr.. JOBSON'S VACATION

When Mr. Jobson returned with Mrs.
Jobson from the seaside last summer he
stood forth and declared himself on the
subject Of summer trips.
'eThis is the last" he announced, mo
| more OF these idiotic hot-weather jaunts
| for me- I haven't been comfortable
minute since I left home. Washington's
pretty good place to live in. 1t suits me
winter and summer, and the next time I
let anybody drag me away from my own
home for month or six weeks during the
sizzling weather. the one that does the
draggins-he or she-is going to be told
few things. I didn't want to go in the
first"
Why" put in Mrs. Jobson, you know
that you were talking about going to the
beacn with anticipation for weeks before
We
~, No, .i wasn't; Mrs. Jobson," Interrupted
Ar. 1onson; didn't any more want to
go to the beach than wanted to go to
jail. and you're evidently suffering from
an atrophied memory when you say other
wise. wanted to stay home and be COM
Portable, but was wheedled and BAN
| boozled and coddled into kiting off with
you to swarming, teemine summer re-
sort, where had to sit on a red-hot hotel
porch and talk pretty to a lot of people
that l had nothing in common with and
that probably despised me in their inmost
souls. and where 1 had to founder around
IN ice-cold sea water every day because
all the rest of the gang did it. and where
l nao 10 go along on cruises In sailboats
and get sick every time you nodded to me
tnat you wanted to go. and where 1 didn't
get proper meal Of victuals during INV
entire stay. and where I had to push you
ar1 1.I m perambulator and look as If
l nKed 1t. just because all the other i'm
beetles down there with strong healthy
l"-pound wives perambulate their wives
and where | felt In general like sat
CI{hra1 N he hot
taken me a good many years to get this
home together. and
Well. l am sure 1 would be perfectly
content to remain at home all the year
around. said Mrs. Jobson. Don't you
remember that 1 suggested last spring
that we remain at home this year and get
a new porcelain bathtub instead Of SPEND
ing the money for trip, and have the
house painted al over, and get a new chif-
| ionler and modern refrigerator
on have a gifted Imagination, Mrs
Jobson." said Mr.. Jobson ITS wonder
to me that you didn't take to the writing
OF fiction in early life. I'd like to accom-.
modate you by remembering all that but
my memory isn't as elastic as 1t might be
convenient for you to have 1t. I do remem-
Der however, that you began to tinker with
material for new bathing suit as early as
the month of March. and that you began to
read the seaside advertisements In The
Star paper before the lilacs began to show
up on the market stands and that Won he
gan to get letters from hotel keepers down
at the beach. in response to your secret
INQUIRIES as to terms. long before the month
OF OF May dragged to Its close. and that when
the first hot day in June happened along
you began to pant and to look wistful and
to remark that you'd never suffered so
much from the heat before. and to tell me
that you thought 1 needed a change and
the salt air pretty badly and so on
Didn't you say two weeks before we
started that you pitfed folks that had to
remain in the boiling city all summer,
boiling city; Mrs. Jobson?" exclaimed
MI Jobson. You never heard me make
use OF such term In your life with refer
ence to Washington. All this talk about
Washington being a hot city in the sum
mer Is moonshine. It's cool enough for
me, anyhow, and the next time you com
nence to look wistful before the summers
haif begun. I'll send you to the seaside, all
right. but I'll stay at home myself I've
mad all the summer-resorting 1 want in
NINE
This was the way Mr.. Jobson declared
himseif upon his return from the seaside
last year. 1t may he remarked that in at
tributing to Mrs. Jobson wild unrestrain-
able desire to go to the beach, Mr. Jobson
was as usual. just 4 tri1e beside the mark
however 1t was a settled thing from the
time Mr.. Jobson issued his pronunciamento
on tne subject of summer trips that there
would be no summer trip for the Jobsons
this year. Mrs. Jobson was content with
that understanding. She had never been
particularly fond of the hotel existence and
ne incessant dressing and plunging about
OF seaside resort.
Frequently during the winter uba,
friends of the JObsons would ask them
"nere they were going when the summer
came again. Mr.. Jobson would expatiate
at great length and with much fervor unon
the complete lunacy Of modern folks Who
think they're abused and imposed upon il
they can't manage to leave their COMFORT
able homes for month two every sum
mer and rush to a crazy summer resort
where they had to spend all their time
tanning themselves and fighting mosque
toes and trying to convince themselves that
tney We're having a swell time
Not any more for the Jobsons,' Mr. Job
son would wind up. decidedly. Folks who
can make themselves happy and comfort
abe and contented in Washington from jan
uary the 1st until December the 31st sim
ply don't know when they're well off and
they're welcome to do ali the summer-re
sort gadding they want to. But know one
Washihgtohfan who will henceforth find
round" i' ''e Seai
Mrs. Jobson did not begin. as usual, In
April to get her clothes ready for a sum
mer trip. She was in fact rather g,eJ "
be rid of that bother Nothing wss s,i1
ABOUT summer plans. and she took # for
granted that they would have a quiet com
lorlapse season OF 1t beneath the shade of
their own vine and fig tree
There We're some humid sultry davs late
IN May. On the second humid. s,,ltry day
late IN May Mr. Jobson came home from
Ait' oiii'c AipppiiS MS IOrenead good deal
ana complaining that he hadn't felt so
run down in years. 1t was obvious to
MRS. Jobson that he wanted her to suggest
that they take spin to some cool nIsca
but Mrs. Jobson didn't have any such snr
gest1on to make. She said she wasn't fae1
ing the heat at all. Mr. Jobson Looked
sidewtse at her. and then he went on 10 saw
That he thought Washington would have a
pretty warm summer of 1t this year
MI Jobson saw a lot of pictures of y,,,,ne
women in bathing suits in the fashion do
partment or ono of the papers early in
June, and he commented upon how much
more styllshly women are beginning to rio,
themselves up for salt water bathing tbon
they did In former years Mrs JGbson
however didn't take the hint and again
Mr. JobSon gazed at her out of the sIanfs
of his eyes as If waiting for her To saw
something. say
On Friday afternoon last Mr. Jobson
came home with some bundles under his
arm He calmly opened the bundles and
showed them to Mrs. Jobson as soon as h..
got in. One of the bundles contained a
neat white flannel suit. another a Yachting
cap. and still another a pair of white can
vas shoes. ~
Like emp" asked Mr. Jobson iaunttlv
Why. yes: they're nice" replied Mrs
Jobson. but men don't wear such things In
the city. do they?" -
These, Mrs. Jobson.' said Mr.. .Jobson
are not to be worn in the city THEY'RE
n tla