The Washington weekly post., 1900-11-27
Fnm ths Roash Rider

4
ygcsers v-as distinguished for hts
co~pylenee and his 5ovisl nature
10 had twice been hOnored with
- ,ba rrsrIssrcy of the jolly Fat
Mems Club. While h!s popularity with the
scntIar seY vas such a. 20 arouse the i've
Ues, envy a che slender and less pros
rerous bachelors: f0r u must be Temem-
80 tss, fate had dealt generously With
Sfeyleksrs and had stuffed his wallet a.
well a. hls girth.
p,., vevickers' chief charm was his
,sugb There were other fat men and
there were other rich men. but there was
no one with a laugh Ike McVickers'. IL
vas a deep. rneIodlous heaving chuckle:
80 spontaneous and 70 hearty and accom-
panled with such a 'grinkllng OF the face
that none could .sist its cOniagion.
Whenever Mcyickers laughed everybody
else laughed.
No joke was TOO triilng or TOO dense for
ne rislbitles. lie chuckled al every
th.ng, and was pointed out 10 consume
tlyes As a convincing example Of the
wholesome effects Of laughter: though =
must be admitted that two or three wrin-
klcd VI gins hinted at Neer as the true
cause of his ruddy face and double chin.
But be that as It may. McV.ckers was
beyond doubt one Of the fattest and jol-
Hest OF mortals-that Is, until the night
of his fortleth birthday anniversary. What
happened during the night nobody knows
20 this dav MCVickeTs himself never
knew. the doctors. could not explain and
The scientists were all at sea: but the fact
nevertheless remains that something re-
uarkable did happen, and McVickers
awokc the next morning a changed man.
He was not Immediately aware Of his
altered condition, and did not discover it
until he picked up the morning paper
while eating his breakfast Glancing lei
surely over its columns his eyes soon
rested upon a small paragraph on the edl
torial page. He read IL with much eager
ness; and then. with serious expression
upon HIS chubby countenance. he looked
up curlously at the waiter.
The waiter, feeling called upon to do
something, said Yes. sir. and shuffied his
feet
BE quiet" commanded McVickers
sternly; and turning again to his paper,
De remained gravely absorbed in the par
agraph for the space OF several minutes.
Then laying the paper carefully upon the
table, he addressed the waiter in calm
voice
Peter" said he. 81 want to ask you a
question"
Yes, sir" replied the waiter softly;
''but my name is Cornelius"
81 am going 10 ask you a plain ques-
ton" went on McVickers. "and I want a
plain answer. What ] want to know is,
am / awaken
We'll, sir" responded the man, strok-
Ing his greasy chin with judicial thought
fulness, "seein' as how you have ate five
eggs and drank two cups o. coffee, not TO
mention beef steak with trimmin's, /
should say you was, SIR
II suppose you're right" said Mcvick-
ers. Then, after a pause, he continued:
do ] seem changed in any way? Do I
look sicki Would you say anything was
wrong with me?
why, no. sir. ! can't say as anything
is dinren about you" replied the waiter
after grave and critical survey of Nc
Vickers' appearance. You looks the same
20 me as ever, sir"
Then read this" said Mcvickers sud-
denly. thrusting the newspaper into the
walters hands and pointing TO the para
graph that had claimed his attention
Read that, and tell me what you think
of it."
The man took the paper and McVickers
eyed him intently as he read II. Impressed
with the responsibility thus suddenly
placed upon him, the waiter scanned the
item with becoming seriousness and de-
liberation; but he had scarcely finished it
when his gravity forsook him and he
broke forth into mild III OF laughter.
What are you laughing at?" demanded
McVickers.
why. sir, at this joke you gave me to
read l beg pardon, sir, but upon my
word. sir | couldn't help 1t. That's an
uncommon good joke, SIR
McVickers sank back in his chair
There's something wrong; there's some
thing wrong" he muttered impressively
glaring at the aston.shed Cornelius Il
must consult a doctor. There's no doubt
about it. I'll go to see Claymore at once
Give me my hat and umbrella" and with
out further talk he hastened of.
Half an hour later he walked into the
Doctors office, mopping his forehead and
looking generally uncomfortable
Hello, my fat friendI' exclaimed the
genial Claymore, slapping him on the
back. whats the good word?"
Doc" answered McVickers, in a sep
ulchral tone. as he took a seat by the
electric fan. Something very serious has
happened. I've lost my sense of humOr!
just made the discovery this morning
when l read joke in the paper. I saw
the point all right, and | realized ii was
rafting good joke, but il didn't tickle
me. First time in all my born days any
thing Ike that has happend 10 me. | feel
II In my bones that l am going TO have
nj or softening Of the brain"
"Nonsenser interrupted the doctor.
Your liver's out of order; that's all that
ais you III give you a prescription
thatll fix you up all right by tomorrow"
MoNickeTs took the prescription and
the medicine, but without avail His
Bense OF humOr had departed beyond the
recall OF drugs. Funny stories. humorous
incidents, puns, all his old-time sources
OF amusement failed utterly 10 produce
even smile.
As the days and weeks wore on his no.
culiar case attracted the attention of the
medical world. Physicians and Specialists
held consultations. and delivered them
selves OF learned diagnoses. with the re-
suit that McVickers was subjected 10 a
varied assortment OF treatments, includ-
ing electric shocks, cold water plunges
medicated underwear. and pole vaultlns
Hut the months passed by and McVickers
continued TO view the ridiculous with
pathetic eeuntenance,
From the first day OF his strange af-
hietioa he began 10 lose flesh, and SO ran
The END OF year the rude boys OF the
town were calling him "Beanpole." His
cheeks were sunken, his eyes were hol-
low and his appetite was fast ebbing
away. The doctors agreed that he was
G}ng for want Of laugh. They told
him in confidence that II he did rot laugh
within the next two or three months he
would be a dead man.
McNickers had a sucpicion OF this on
his own account, and as he daily beheld
DIS shadow growing more angular he de-
iormiusd TO resort 10 heroic methods 10
''.p htms II 0ut OF the graveyard
Accordingly, he took frequent and pro-
l1Hsed liberties with the wine bottle and
hI'alAed the hilarious atmosphere OF the
music halls and vaudeville. He assoelat-
al with minstrels and low comedians
lie Joined with the boys In the comic
ftFga 4 The gIuh ard sgays bsr,a.Ie 49,.