New-York tribune., 1900-08-10
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

.orbs rondon Telegraph tells some baptismal
stories. A minister was baptizing boy or SIX
years The names given were Benjamin Joseph
After the ceremony he said 10 the boy: You have
two very good names and you ought to be a good
boy: how did you come by them? Please sir.
said the boy. we twins. and the other died
Another correspondent says: at Ramsbury Manor
there once resided a poulterer's family of the name
OF Duck The third was TO be christened ana
the mother wanted the name 70 be William. Just
before starting to church the nurse ran upstairs
tc the father. who laid up with gout. to tel
him they were OF. What be going to call un.
nurse? 'Missus says it's 10 be William was the
reply. William be bowed said the invalid. call
un plain Bill In accordance with these laconic
Instructions the gave the name of Piainoiil
to the clergyman. and the infant was christened
accordingly" ono Titchiner, Of Peckham. was
named under the following circumstances; On ar
riving at the church his name was not settled
upon. and when the clergyman said Name this
child" one Of the friends said John, and another
said oh no." meaning not John; and as no
one else spoke the clergyman thought that was
to he his name and baptized him Ono
Fuddy-They say that the joys of anticipation
are superior 10 those of realiza tion.
Duddy-very likely. I notice that persons who
are safely booked through for heaven are generally
in no hurry to enter upon the journey thither-
Boston Transcript
The Grow Indians OF Montana, who raise great
deal of wheat, have entered into a contract with
the United States Government to supply the Chey-
system of irrigation for their farms. and have
good -four mill at the agency. while they are
building another at distant part OF the reserva-
ton. They have sold much farm produce annually
for several years to buyers in the country round,
and many cattle and horses They rich in
farms and focks and herds. but this is the first
time Government contract a railway contract
was ever let 1ndiau-at least TO blanket
Indian" of the mountains
First Bookkeeper-That Jinks is the wfttiest man
Second Bookkeeper-I heard him say
bright thing!
to amgb every 3hT tune the g "" tens that
stale old chestnutty joke of his,-(Puck
An American who had occasion to consult
prominent business In Rio Janero tells Of
his experience in letter to The New-Orleans
Times Democrat ." Senior Jose has not yet
rived the head clerk would say bIandIy when
inquired for his principal How soon will he be
in? 1 would ask, innocently. God know, senior
the clerk would reply, still unruffied. Then, per-
haps. after calling five six times. would get
desperate, and conversation something like this
would ensue: Will Senior Jose be here to-dayT
All senior 1 know not Well, tomorrow, then?
Perhaps: who knowsg But I want to make an
appointment Do you expect him any time next
week.? 1t is possible. senior oh! confound it,
will he be here this year" He may. senior "
An Experienced NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. what
size house would you like?
Gottrich-It need not be large We have few
friends.
Archtect-Ah. but you will have plenty of friends
when your new house is done.-(New-YOrk Weekly
A Maori chief who lost f4O through white store
keeper going through the bankruptcy court has
given following lucid exposition Of this particu
lar branch of British Jurisprudence: The pakeha
(whte mani who wants 20 become pakarapu Gn-
soIvent goes into business and gets lots of goods
and does not pay for them. He then gets all the
money he together say 1900 and puts all of
1t, except f5. away where no one can find it, With
ne wants to become pakarapu. The Judge then calls
all the lawyers together, likewise all the to
whom the pakeha owes money. and he says: This
is pakarapu. but he wishes to give you all
that he has got, and so he has asked me to divide
this Is among you all The Judge thereupon gives
the lawyers "a and the remaining fl to the other
men. Then the pakeha goes home
ma always trumps up something good to say
We'll, she can't say anything good about the
Yes she says. she can't help liking them be-
cause they don't wear whiskers. - Indiana polls
Journal
This story is told by the Berlin correspondent Of
The London Daily News as the origin of the
anti-foreign movement in Manchuria; Lately about
twenty thousand Chinese engaged on the Nanchu-
rtan Railway struck work owing to a report that
the Russians had killed Chinese in the hospital and
boiled the bodies to get fat to lubricate the en-
gnes- This spread abroad by some ragpickers
who found in ash pit couple of bears paws
These were mistaken for human hands and they
were hung on tree. and caused tremendous
crowds to gather. The Russian inhabitants Of
Charbin were very anxious. and Or. Stevenzizx
who had shot the first bear shot second to
show the excited Chinese their mistake. The ex-
element was somewhat alayed by this but many
of the laborers left. fearing to become victims
Of the great cauldron' Of the Europeans These
laborers afterward Joined the Boxers"
The Rev DR.. Fourthly paused in his sermon.
I speak of the matter with some reluctance"
ne said. but will the little boy who is tickling the
crown of the baldheaded gentleman sitting in
front Of him in one of the middle seats near the
centre aisle please let him alone? His snoring d.