davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07
Ii Heals the Lungs.

When suffering from a racking cough,
take dose of Foley's Honey and Tar
The soreness will be relieved and a
warm, grateful feeling and healing of
the parts affected will be experienced.
Sharrar * Mulhouand
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07
uank Robbed.

Emden, H., Nov. 30.-The Farmers
bank here was blown open and robbed
of $4,000 by four masked men, who
also killed Policeman Sanford.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

The man who wears fake diamonds
usually INDUCES in glittering general
tiles.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07
Plenty Of Gold.

Washington, Dec. 1.-The gold in the
United States treasury amounts TO
S474.10s. 1886. breaking all records.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

When the spider catches fly he
considers it net gan.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

All men are born ignorant and
some never Outgrow il.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

~ A. R.-William Meyer Post. No 152 Depart
VI. ment OF Michigan, G.. a. r., meet on I'd Sat
urday OF each month at 90 p m. and on the 4th
Saturday OF each month at 200 p. IL.
J. w. HOLMES, Commander
l.. n. CHADWICK. Adiutant
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

.NM. MoYER RELIEF CORPS, No 1873, meet
w every second and fourth Wednesday in the
month.
MARTHA WALKER President
MRS. MARY THOMAS, Secretary.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

ALMA LODGE, F. Il A. VI .-Regulsr meetings
"A on Saturday on or before full moou.
W. KELLY. ". NJ.
SETH TUBES. Sec'y.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07
various Recommendations.

He indorsos Secretary Roots plan provd-
ing for the increase of the army to a max
imum strength of 10000 men.
He recommends the adoption Of ship sub
sides to facilitate the growth Of the Amer
lean merchant marine.
lie recommends that congress at the
present session reapportion the repre-
sentation among the several states.
He approves the proposal of the secre-
tary of the navy for an increase in ships,
officers and in men.
He recommends a reduction OF $4,000
o01 in the war internal revenue taxes, urg-
ing that the reduction be made first on
taxes on legacies and public requests.
lie reports the progress made toward
establishing governments In Porto Rico
and Cuba and leaves the ultimate DISPOSE
ton of Cuba 10 be determined by congress.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

Alimony Something that makes a
man figure in a divorce suit,
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

EPISCOPAL CHURCH-Seryices are held
II every sunday AT 80 a. m. aud 1000 a. M,
SUNDAY school at II 80 a m. Evening service AT
90 o. clock standard time Services other days
as announced REV II. %. JEFFERSON, Rector.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

ALMA CHAPTER. O. +. :. No. 43-Regular
"A meetings on the first Friday Of each month.
MRS. OLIVE Ii. CAPLE. W. Matron.
MRS. EVA GILL, Sec y.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

SUGGESTIVE art Of knowing how I,
get others TO supply your wants.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

DOYAL ARCANUM-Arcads Council No l03s
II meets every other Wednesday night at / o.
o. r. Hall /. y. BRAINERD, Regent.
A. w. BECKNER, Sec'y.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07
SOCIETIES.

DRESBYTERIAN CHURCH-Morning service
j 1890: sunday school 1900. Evening service
80 D. IN. REV. W. X. SPENCER, Pastor
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07
LODGES.

LIMA Chapter, No. l23. X. A. NJ. Regular meet.
"A ings on Monday night on or after full moon
II. POLLASKY, IL. +.
6. :. You've, Sec'y
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

KNIGHTS OF PYTHIAS-Fitz james Lodge
~ No rs, X OF +. hold its regular meetings
every alternate Friday night.
j. G. BRIGHT, G. &.
JoHN kSoERTZER, *. of Il. & =
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

Washington, Dee. 4.-Pres,dent Nc
Kmley iu his message 10 congress re-
cites the leading events of inc recent
Chinese crisis and says:
This nation has followed am UNMARRIED
policy looking 10 the ontolc Went OF meas
mos of redress and reform The prcserVa-
ton of trc integrity OF the chinese en-
pire and the maintenance OF tho open door
H, asserts that instead of excessive I'M
IDENTITIES which china might bo unable
tu...... part of the indemnity mirht with
urourIDi. take The form OF increased guar
antics OF security for torciEn'rs ana their
property and Increased assurances oi pro-
lection tor m -iouarics and their converts.
Hr approx the Russian proposal that
I'm cas-, of divergence among the powers
as 90 the question of indCmuiues the mat
ter bee submitted 20 tie court OF arbl-
tration az The Hague.
Government i'm PHILIPPINES.
Tie reviews briefly the progress made
toward establishing stable government IN
the Philippines, rcafiirms his opinion that
the islands should remain under Amer
lean soVerclguty and outlines "A plan OF
procedure looking TO the establishment OF
local -elf-govornmCnt lie declares that
effective opposition to tho authority or
the United States was virtually ended last
spring.
The president Incorporates In his mes
sage the instructions 10 the Taft commits
sion. recommending that i'm giving the
Philippines "a stable government the first
steps should bc directed TO establishing To-
cal municipal government, native Eli
pinos being encouraged 10 participate
wherever eligible. and this step 10 be
followed by the organization OF govern
meut IN the larger administrative divi-
sions. In the presidents view, the high
est central government finally evolved by
this process should deal with matters Of
general concern only.
lie urges that the officials Of the civil
government and Of the military govern
ment. until II can be dispersed with keep
in mind that the administration should be
conducted generously with a view 10 the
best interests of the Filipinos whose per-
sonal and social rights are 10 be regarded
US sacred.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

GONE Of the worst diseases
~ scarcely give a sign until
they strike their victim down.
The terrible Bright's Disease
may be growing for years and
only show now and then by a
backache or change of urine, by
sallow face and failing appetite.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

NJ Z. CHURCH-Morning services 1890; sun
MI. day school 1900. Evening service 30
Young Peoples meeting Sunday evening at 6:3s
Prayer meeting Thursday evening at 1870
REV w / WooTEN. Pastor
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-12-07

DATHBONE SISTERS, ROYAL Temple No.
III t. meets every alternate Wedne sday
night i'm Is. OF T. Han. ANNA HAYT NJ. +. {.
MINNIE SMITH, NJ. of {.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08

he packed up his traps and took his
departure. He let himself in with
his latch key one purple and starlit
evening.
your bad sixpence is back again,
Mrs. Muncie," he cried, entering the
parlor.
But it wa not stout little Mrs. Mum
Gle who rose from the rocker. but a
fair and stately young lady, gowned in
pale blue null, with a bunch Of YER
benas tucked into her wide sash.
Il am Mrs. Muncie's guest" she
said, with a smile. my name is Mar
garet Jardine. You are Mr.. Keith, /
am sure"
"Jardine! The name is a familiar
and honored one here. You had left
Melton a short time before our firm
located here. I am happy to meet
you."
And when Mrs. Muncie came in
she found them chatting like old
friends.
And why, Mr.. Keith" she demand
ed, when he stood up to say good
night, Ibid you not send for that box
of magazines? It's down cellar yet"
He laughed out like a boy.
Il did send, Mrs. Muncie. And l got
a box of jelly-the most>delicious jelly.
What good fairy converted literature
into jelly?"
Mrs. Muncie threw up her fat
hands.
and that" she cried, lis the reason
amt heard a word from Sister Su-
san!" And then there were e~xpIana-
tons all around, and a good deal of
laughter. Three days later Miss Jar
dine went back to the city. And it
was not long until Mr.. Keith decided
he had business there which required
his personal attention. Of course, he
called on Miss Jardine. He found her
calm, capable, trim of attire, busily di-
recting a score of employees in the
large establishment where she worked.
Excuse me if l appear rude she
said, "but we are not permitted to talk
long to visitors-unless on business"
But l." he assured her with a quiz
zical smile, "have come on tremen-
dously important business"
He went back to Melton that night
with a smile On his lips and a song in
his heart.
And when, in November, they drove
together up the main street of the
town she drew a queer, quick breath.
There are lights in my old home"
she said. SIS it occupied at last?"
ut will be soon. dearest"
The driver turned in at the high iron
gates and drove up the avenue.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
what does this mean?a Margare.


What does this mean?" Margaret
murmured.
That I have bought. Rosemount,
dear-and that your old home is your
new one. All, here is Mrs. Muncie to
welcome you"
The door had been flung wide. A
billow of light streamed out. 1t re-
vealed the lovely, amazed face of the
bride.
"Oh," cried Mrs. Muncie, running
down the steps. I'm so happy
though I've lost my lodger! And to
think, Miss Margaret, that he should
have eaten all your fine jelly"
He'll eat more before he dies
laughed Gilbert Keith. welcome
home, darling"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
Too Serious For q Joke.

"You Americans" said the London
young man, Is he stopped sucking his
cane, "are always in~sinuating that we
Englishmen don't know what a real
joke is. Now, just hold your sides
while l go over this one which l read
in a home paper a week ago:
"'The Countess-M'Lord, you were
at the grand dinner last night, were
you not? Just a while ago I heard n
of those vulgar Americans make the
remark that this morning you had a
big head.
"'The Duke-But, m'lady, there's
nothing in IT."
The American looked as sober as a
criminal court judge.
"Well?" he asked.
Don't you see,' explained the dis
gusted Britisher, poking the other in
the ribs with his cane "the Countess
says some n accused her companion
(ha!) of having a big head Cha! ha!)
and he declares (p-ha! ha!) there's
nothing in it,"
eyes. but"
"Blarsted idiocy, but what?"
Her companion was a Duke?"
eyes"
"And not any different from the
rest Of the English nobility?"
mo. But the joke, the joke! 1t is
so adroitly put. In apparent inadvert-
neutrality-suspicious. Duke admits
there is nothing in his head! Now, do
you see?"
well, it is a little strange that the
Duke could make such a frank and
candid admission, but-where does the
joke come in?"-Brooklyn Life.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
The Octopus of the uelle.

Antwerp Cor. Chicago Record: Ac-
cording to a Belgian officer who has
just returned from the Congo Free
State, the River Uelle there is full of a
species of octopus, called by the ma
tives 'miga." The creature is in the
habit, it is said, of attacking native
canoes, capsizing them, dragging its
victims to it's cave and making a meal
of them. The Belgian tells some
strange stories of the performances of
these creatures which he processes to
have witnessed. These stories strain
ones credulity and read like a page
from one of Rider Haggard's novels.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
F~IRE-FLAsH.
Weird Flame scares People of an italian
Village. .

Weird Flame scares People of an italian
Village. >
A wonderful thing has been frighten-
ing the inhabitants of Berbonno in
Italy for several years. 1t is weird
enough to excuse their belief in its SUI
pernatural origin, and to make explic-
able the state of nervous dread in
which they have been living. Now a
prominent scientist has studied it and
fails to understand it. He cannot even
formulate a theory, but he has at,
least enriched the world with a mar
velous story. Professor Fabani is the
man. He heard the tale of the strange
happenings in the little village and a
few months ago he visited the place
and witnessed them. On the night of
his arrival a trembling guide took him
a short distance outside of the village,
where the country was perfectly open.
Suddenly there appeared before them
a thin, long tongue of flame. At first
it was only a few inches high. Then
it rose in curious windings till it
reached a height of twenty-five feet.
AIo Jill CuduSSu lIOn WuIlG W I6u,
and then to yellow. For a few mo-
ments the flame appeared to be sta
tionary. Then, at once, it began to fit
along the road, now touching the
ground, then skimming along a few
inches above the surface, then spring
ing high into the air. Sometimes it
would lie along the ground and crawl
like a snake. Again it would dance
and whirl swiftly. But always it main
tanned it's general onward direction,
which was toward the churchyard,
where it disappeared. Professor Fa-
bani watched it night after night. He
reports that the fame appeared almost
every night as soon as darkness came,
and that the fame appeared to have
a different shape almost each time
that he saw it. The wind, he says,
has no effect on it. Often it moves d.
rectly into the teeth of a gale, and
snow and rain fail to extinguish it.
He declares that he failed absolutely
to find anything that could account for
it. He was unable to touch the strange
thing, for the fame avoids approach
ing bodies, and human beings who
pursue it have their labor for their
pains.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
A Novel letter.

The following unique epistle was
found on a suburban street car re-
Gently:
Dear John-This is wrote you to
let you know how all the family is.
John, we're doin' purity we'll now, if I
do say it myself. Your Uncle Jim had
the good fortune to lose his left leg on
a railroad and got damages and is now
Twin with us and payin' board, which
is a great help to us. Your brother
Bill fell in a cellar in Atlanta an
broke his collar bone, for which he got
$50 and invested it in a gray mule,
which was cheap at the price. Your
grandmother has been cured of the
rheumatism an is now able to do the
family washin', and altogether, John,
we are well off and mighty thankful to
Providence, which always provides
Atlanta Constitution.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
AN I'D E VEHICLE.
Great Advantages of the EIectromo-

Great Advantages of the EIectromo-
bile.
One great advantage of the electro
mobile owe automobiles propelled by
gasOlene or steam power is it's SIM
plicity of operation. Except for the
matter of steering, running an electro
mobile is exactly as simple as running
a trolley car. The driver usually sits
on the left side of the seat. the con-
troller handle in his left hand and
the steering bar in his right hand. The
brake is operated by one foot press
ing a pin with either foot. Either a
steam or gasolene automobile requires
the driver to be a pretty good steam
engineer, as water gauges, steam indi-
Gators and fuel tanks must be watched
while running the machine. A recent
lecturer on the subject, referring to
the above statements, observed that in
the operation of an electromobile only
10 per cent of the skill required to
run it was needed on the road. while
80 per cent of the work, such as charg-
ing batteries, cleaning, etc., was x
pended on the vehicle while standing
in the stable. He further stated that
where the steam or gasolene automo-
bile is concerned these figures are re-
versed. Considering its short radius
of operation, usually from twenty-five
to forty miles, the e~lectromobile has
come to be regarded as the ideal We
hicle for city use. It will be but a few
years, it is believed, before electric
charging stations will be numerous all
over the country, and then the electro
mobile will take its place with the
steam and gasolene vehicles as a tour
ing automobile.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08


Jerry had been sent to get a box out
of Mrs. Muncie's cellar. Margaret,
supposing him to be the expressman
sent by her hostess, went down the
cellar with him, and pointed out the
box containing the jelly.
There is no address on it," she
said. do you know where it is to
go?"
Eyes, miss. That's all right. I've
got the card for it in my pocket"
When Mrs. Muncie. appeared with a
man and wagon, Margaret explained
that the box had been called for.
Il declare, that provoking Tom
Grimes must have changed his mind, "
said Mrs. Muncie. when l spoke to
him he told me he had an all day job,
and couldn't come. l must pay him the
first time I see him. I shan't need you,
Peter Green"
And she supposed, of course, Marga-
ret had seen to the address.
To Gilbert Keith, camping out with
some kindred spirits in the heart of
superb scenery, was duly delivered the
box containing Miss Jardine's jelly.
Great Scotlandi" he exclaimed,
''how were ever magazines turned into
jelly-and such jelly! But-seeing
how under-lavored the meat and over
favored the butter to be had here,
I'm rather glad of the Transformation.
And I'll take the goods the gods pro-
vide-no questions asked"
Which declaration was enthusiastic
cally seconded by his companions.
Just a week later it dawned upon
him that there was a good deal of lone
illness and monotony up in the noun
tains, and that it was beginning to feel
a bit chilly at night under a canvas
tent. So as suddenly as he had come
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08

Three attractive women were going
up town on a Madison avenue car last
evening, when one noticed the head
line "16 to 1" in a newspaper she car
ried.
"What does '16 to l. mean. any
how?" she chartered.
why. it means" said the woman
next to her, chat sixteen silver dol
lars would be equal to one gold-that
is, / mean. that it will take sixteen
ounces of silver to make a silver dol
lar"
Then she blushed and looked con-
fused, and a demure woman in blue
dress who sat beside her endeavored
to help her out of the tangle in this
wise:
What they want is to make a dol
lar out of both metals, part silver and
part gold. 1t is sixten parts of silver
to n of gold. I've forgotten which.
They call it bimetallism."
This solution was more satisfactory
and the conversation turned into
other channels.-New York Mail and
Express.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
Sic Was snsnicious.

"You viii find me very little trou-
ble," remarked the prospective tenant
to the woman who had furnished
apartments to let. "In fact, l never
leave a place but what my landlady
sheds tears"
I'm glad you mentioned it," rejoin-
ed the knowing female. otherwise I
might possibly have neglected to men
ton that my terms are strictly cash
in advance"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
RaAga9adGEac6gn@5
SR1BzE $3.50 9f5SIQ8ESN1SNH,Nlp
Society Notes.

Society Notes.
Ida-"It is a wonder they do not
leave the doings of high society out
of the papers occasionally. I am SO
weary reading them"
May-"Ditto, dear"
Ida-"Then you have been reading
about Aston in London?"
May-"No, I have been reading the
automobile news from Newport"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08

De dawg he seem a-longin' dess to
heah dat huntin' holm,
De mule he seem a-longtn' fob a day
OBJ res en- cohn;
De darby seem a-longinN for a chicken
twixt his jaw.
De kernel seem arlongin' fob a julep en-
q straw.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
Great Discovery.

"They say Necessity is the mother
of invention Halton."
Indeed it is. Our fat was so small
that we we're forced to have a combina-
ton folding bed and ice box. It's the
greatest thing out. Why, when I went
to bed those sultry nights I thought
| was sleeping on an ice berg"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
.Tust like a Man.

Mrs. Growells--"Oh, dear, I feel mis-
cradle again this morning"
Mr.. Growells-"I'm glad to hear 1t,
DEAR"
Mrs. Growells-tWhat! Glad to hear
that / feel m~iserabIe?"
Mr.. Growells-"Yes, for a woman is
never happy unless she is miserable"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
Good Nautical Training.

The Commodore-HoW do you &C
count for your friend being such a
2 pod sailor, Miss Price?
Miss Price-Oh, she has been stay
ing at a summer resort where there
were two hammocks and four eligible
men.-Brooklyn Life.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
rauinr or in Attentlons.

Harry, you must try to pay some
thing on DR.. Pitzer's bill"
"FWhy, has he said anything about
it?"
mo; but when I go there now he
doesn't sympathize with me at ALL
Indianapolis Journal.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
A one-sided Arrangement.

"In this country we give up more in
tips to various persons than we lose by
burglars"
Eyes, and we can't have the con-
ISOLATION of firing pistols off at them
as they get away."-Chicago News,
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
The Point of View.

Viewed through an inverted glass,
Sometimes makes one see double;
Thus, four Quarts Of beer is apt
To make a full peck of trouble.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
Would Do the Right Thing.

Vicar (reproving the inebriated par
lshioner), What would you say if you
were. to see me Keeling down the road
In a state of hopeless intoxication?
SCI wouldn't tell a soul. sir"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
Mother-in-LawIess

He-"Darling, will you be my wife?"
She Gan heiress)-"Are you quite
sure you love me for myself alone?"
He-"Certainly. Didn't you tell me
you were an orphan?"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
Benefit Of Missing-word Contests.

Benefit of Missing-W Word Contests.
Dimyel-The banks are very helpful
to children, in my opinion.
Tharpe-First steps to composition,
SO to speak.
Dimley-Exactly; they leave out
important words for the children to
supply, thus: Father says it is
hot today."-Brooklyn Life.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08
inst Two.

Brighton-"Hello. Burch. do you
hear Parker singing Just One Girl'?"
Burch-'The deuce yod say! Why.
he told me this morning 1t was twins"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08

Nervous Spinster-Little boy, did
you ever kill ~any~snakes here?
Nice Little Boy-No, mum. We
saves EN- for the boarders. You can
find EN- most anywhere. The grass is
full of 'em.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1900-11-08

Customer-Are there any worms in
these cherries?
Truthful Boy-Yes'm, but yer can't
tell 'em. They taste just like the cher
ries.