Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-05-20
ng showing it to visitors. He is 4

guide.
acquired his widespread reputation for
'.lyin' by making earnest, even though
futile efforts to get down to common
earth. The rare atmosphere and the
dilated view have penetrated his moral
fiber. Could you look for common
place from a man whose every hour is
passed in the face of primeval majes-
ty? To whom nature in her mood of
largest glory has herself become COM
monplace?
Mr.. Hance was in a comparatively
subdued frame of mind last Sunday
evening. Down to Flag" away from
his accustomed environment and in
contact with the ordinary world, he
subsidies and takes on the flavor of
the day. 1t was in the billiard room
of the New Bank hotel and we had
been watching a game of cinch until it
palled. Mr.. Tolfree has leased us with
his not unusual appeal:
Come up against the bar. Have a
touch of S paint Make your heare
beat faster. Make the world look
brighter"
And had passed out disconsolate, be-
cause of EXCUSES based on recent Sup
per-"
There was a time" said Mr.. Hance,
when I would shore not decline any
invitation for any drink-times after
breakfast or dinner or supper, but l
don't drink now n I got a dose o. al
kali comm in. / feel like John Har-
rington, down to Prescott. Jeverno
Harrington? No? / s'posed not, be-
cause you're recent from back east.
Wal, John, he's a cattleman, n he had
a wife like two quarts O. hornets.
She was n onery little shorthorn of
a m to look at, not much big
germ a mint, with a waist like a wasp
and vinigar blooded, n she had a tenn
per like a tarantula. John had to
take it, an he took it like a man. TIL
only way he could even out was to
ride down to Prescott about four times
a year an get his teeth full up n
keep 'em full for a week or so, N for
git. The was always a good deal
done around Prescott when John was
gittin' his teeth fixed. 1t took him a
day or two before he hit his reel gait,
but when he did he'd raise more COM
luOLlO1 b1oI a 0NdACQ WILL. Lively
body was glad to see him and glad to
hand him a shove along. He re-
fused, and he was a lib'ral buyer.
Zone time, after he'd bin away
from the ranch about a day that wife
G. his up an done the best thing she
ever done in her life. She jes' mach.
ly dropped dead o. heart disease or
something, an o. course they had t.
send word to John. One o. the boys
galloped off to Prescott, and the first
thing he sees when he rolls off his boss
is John, comm out of a doorway,
drawin' the lack of is hand across his
mouth.
Hello says John. 'Whach you do
in down thIsaway, Bill?
bill, he was coy about how to break
the news, an he says: 'The's some
thing ~calanitous happened since you
left home, John. l hardly know how
to tell you.
What says John. Injuns?'
""Wors'n that, John" says Bill.
HAS toe bin a stampede?'
"fNo,' saws Bill.
"Nor-say! Don't tell me there's
bin a fire.
"tS worse'n a fire, john says Bill.
"'Well, then, whatever it is touch
it off, says John. Don't keep me
hangin' on the aiAge thisaway.'
"'Well,' says Bill, i hope o got
your nerve with you, John says he.
L don't know jest how to break it to
ye,' he says, but your wife's dropped
dead says he.
John he looked at i'm a minute
like he wasn't quite sure what he'd
heard. Then he give a grunt and says,
says he:
"'Oh, h, Bill says he, don't
make me laugh. My lips is chap
ped"
House Takes a Plunge.
John was out to the canyon to see
me last summer" continued Mr..
Hance. "He wanted to catch a sill
yer salmon down in the river. That
was the time he got M into trouble.
How'd it happen? Why, he was
nshin' n afternoon down near the
end of the Hance trail. Our lines were
in the river quite a while without any
response from the fish, N l got sleepy
n / juts hitched the shore end Of
mine round my ankle n stretched out
for a nap. l mighta been asleep a
minute or an hour, do know which,