Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1900-10-19

9 -::R:=s@&

ley EaS. Yes. Tie uSeu 10 ne INC
iron-jawed man in Il circus.'-Wash-
ington Star.
They're going to u the new hotel
on the European plan" "Heavcns!
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Fri want some sort of IL present
for Il young lady" Sweetheart or Sis
ter:' "Er-why-sle hasn't said which
she will he yet.'-pittsburg Dispatch.
Resort liotclkceper-Any guests in
this evenings train! BUS Driver-No-.
body to speak OF. Only Il single trunk
woman and IL grip gent.-Boston Trane
script.
Snarley-Wlat's self-cstcem? Vow
some one else. hut which is a virtue IL
we possess it NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Herald.
What is an optimistic asked the lad.
A o%ptiMist," answered Mr.. Brylsins,
as he tool. IL dyspepsia tablet, lis in
most cases IL c%oifounacd pyevaricator."
Washington Star.
Edith (coyly)--Nliat is it the poet
says aloGt IL young mans fancies" in
the spring: backward I.ovel-Why--
er-leally-I-er-lcave all that to ME
tailor. sc lnow.-puck.
You seem 10 be very much interest,"
ed i'll tl.at couple i'll the middle of the
floor Yes. YOU look ut them and see
III you can figure out which it is that
can't daMce.'-Chicago Record.
Hicks-The easy writer's have a deal
to say about the dead of night" When
is that. l wonder? Wicks-The dead Of
night. l suppose. is when everybody is
buried in Standardization Transcript.
'Even the general that never wins a
battle can beat sometimes," remarked
Beechwood. What are you driving
att" asked IIomewood. "Ie can beat
a retreat" -pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
what did Aunt Minerva say about
the shirt-waist many' .She said now
he had to keep his belt in the right
place all the time he'd find out he
wasn't any smarter than woman."-In-
lianapo!is Journal.
amelia, whena letter came from you
while you We've away / did not read it
for a day at least" What was that
for, Edgar. Don't you see? saved
one days interest on the money you
asked for."-Chicago Record.
Language" quoted Willie Wishing
ton. was given for the concealment Of
thought" Indeed" rcjoined Miss
Cayenne languidly. Permit me to con-
graduate you ON being so perfect a
master OF English. w Star.
Did you nav any words with your
mistress which caused you to leave
your last place. ",,liver a wor-rd.
Shure am Oi locked her in the bath
room and TUX me things and slipped
out as quiet as yez plase.'-Harper's
Bazaar.
civilian. Il poor man came along
and as.:ed for Il hat" What did you
dog" II gave him your Sunday hat"
isWhat ol earth did you do that for?"
'Well. I slcw yon would need your
sd y aa VS.. when you so aShing."-
Chicago @ec--!. =.
Spa ss1el little Willie, show long
Is u '%GecadcY'" THAT depends, my
son. In the census department a dec
.ade means tea years, but to the women
who hand their ages in to the census
man it means aaytilii.g .srom o to 10."-
Philadelphia Press.
Mr.. Hcnpcck-Ylie doctor says l alb
solutely must go away mex week for q
rest. Mrs. Henpeck-Goodness! 1 can't
possibly manage to get away to go
with you then. Mr.. Henpeck-Um-m!
1 guess the doctor must have known
tllat.-Iliiladelph;a Press.
Mr.. Gump 30 teacEer)-No. l don't
want you to teach my son any gram
mar. Not q bit of it. Teacher-But-
but-t!is is unsual. sir. May l inquire
your reasons? Mr.. Gump-I intend
that lie shall be a writer of popular
songs.-Ealtimore American.
A Good Scheme.-Tourist-Do those
scarecrows save your crops? Farmer
They work first rate. You see. every
tramp that along crosses the
fields to see if til clothes is with steal
in. w'ch they amt. an that scarcs the
crows away.-New York Weekly.
The Seaman-Have you yer been on
a battlesliip VIXEN she clears for ac-
ton: The Landsman-No. well. it
is the most thrilling and impressive
III you can conceive." ooh. I
don't know. Have You ever seen a golf
club champion get ready to driver
Life.
Elanclc-Was Mrs. Gewgaw's gar
den party Il 'wipe-off affair? Lillian
No; it seemed TO me more of n tag
end party. Hanclle-A "tag-cnd" par
ts. l.ilian-Yes; n lot of people who
were invited only because a lot of other
people wouldn't come."-Indianapolis
Journal.
stratcgs.-"That fellow Bumblcton 10
a deep one." What has he been do
ing!" why, lie got the new boaider