Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1900-01-24
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Casey-See here! that dollar ye lent
me Yesterday was counterfeit. Cas-
sldy--Well, Casey, didn't ye say We
wanted 1t bad?-Judge.
Fred-How do you like the table at
your new boarding house? Is there
anything to object to? Arthur-Pre-
cious little.-Brooklyn Life.
Tommy-Papa, what is designing
villain? Mr.. Figg-Oh, the description
would apply to one of these poster art
lists about as well as anything.
The Enthusast--Bs autiful! ExQuisiteE
Her voice has matchless timbre. The
Realist-Timbre? 1t sounds to me like
whole sawmill.-Philadelph Record.
Henderson tells me he means to
name his new boy George" "Old or
new style?' "What do You meant"
Washington orDewey ?'-Indianapolls
Journal.
He-So Miss Prettyface really mar
ried old Moneybags! Whatever induced
her to do 1t? She-She found out from
his doctor that he positively has incur
able heart disease.-New York World.
Wake up!' shouted the mans wife,
"and stop snoring" Pm not snoring"
he shouted. You are,' she insisted. Il
hear YOU" "Well don't believe all you
hear" he grunted.-P Philadelphia North
American.
New Clerk notice some of these
barrels of apples are marked X, and
some Y. Are they different kinds?
Dealer-No; same kind. but differently
packed. Some customers want bar
rel opened at the bottom and some ut
the top.-New York Weekly.
las understand IT," said Cumso,
"oleomargarlne is made Of beef fat"
You are undoubtedly right" replied
Cawker. II should think that the man
ufacturers would make it Of goat fat"
"Why?" Because the goat is nat
ural butter."-Detroit Free Press.
you ought to be ashamed of such
job of whitewashing!" said the irate
patron. you ought to get into sack
cloth and ashes!" Deed. boss" was
the penltent answer. I'D be puffickly
willin' to eff could afford de coal to
make de ashes Washington Star.
"How much better Benton dresses
nowadays than lie used to" said Daw-
kins. HE must be making money"
II think you're mistaken" said Haw-
ley. ~ heard. on very good authority,
that he was losing money. He proba-
bly-can't afford to dress badly.
per's Bazaar.
Three different walters at Southern
hotel asked little prim, precise Har-
ward professor at dinner, in quick sue
cesslon, If he would have soup. A lit
tie annoyed, he said to the last waiter
who asked, as 1t compulsory?" mo,
sah." answered our friend and brother
mo. sab. ! think 1t am mock turtle"
Progressive Age.
81 understand" said Mrs. Kostique,
that you have been seen promenading
with my husband: is that true" The
governess drew herself up defantly.
Eyes. 1t Isl" she replied well. Miss
Primer" the other continued. calmly,
at you wish to remain here you'll have
to keep better company."-Catholic
Standard and Times.
Teacher-Jo Johnny may stand up to re-
cite. Now, Johnny. suppose borrow
$50 from your father and agree TO pay
So week, how long will 1t be before
he gets his money? Johhny--Just one
week. Teacher-Oh, think again; that's
not right. Johnny-Yes, 1t is. know
my father. He'd have you up in the
courts by that time.-New York World.
Hinson-lt makes me tired to hear
the bad grammar they make use Of In
of the shopmen at Ketchum's said that
he sold three customers this morning,
instead of saying that he sold them
goods. Murdock-That's right. 1t may
sound little ungrammatical but the
man knew what he was talking about.
II understand you are an athlete"
remarked the landlady to the new
boarder. Yes, ma'am." proudly mn
swered the n. b.; 81 am the champion
high-jumper from Jumpersville." 'That
being the case" said the landlady. II
will have to ask you to pay your board
In advance. I've had all the eXperi-
ence with Jumpers care for."-Chlcago
News.
"Now. Norton" said one of the party
who had gone deep into the Maine
woods in search OF adventure. 1--WE
know you've been famous hunter,
and we want to hear about some of the
narrow escapes you've had from bears.
and so on" young man." said the
old guide, with dignity. "if there's been
any narrer escapes, the bears aud other
fierce critters had 'em. not me"-Bos-
ton Christian Register.
WHO is the head of your house y
The benedict gave few minutes to the
consideration of the question before an
swering. mo one" he said finally.
"My wife and ] started our married
| life on perfect equality. AS you might
| say, we trot in double harness and"
"Well?" swell, guess, perhaps, the
baby drives the team."--Chicago Even
ing Post.
| did you get the money for that
horse and buggy before you let 1t go
out?" asked the proprietor of the livery
stable. NO" answered the employe.
Its mistake" said the proprietor.
HE didn't look like man who had
much money, and | don't like to take
chances" "True." admitted the EN-
ploye, "he didn't look like man who
had much money, but he looked like
man who might have good deal when
he comes bnck. Chicago Evening
Post.
Increased Strength of China.
A German engineer has brought for.