The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1900-11-22

CRIED OUT FOR THE MOON TO TAKE 4 DROP.
boss OF the earth and owner Of all the
planets above? Your humble slave as
sures you that the sun, moon and every
star VIII hustle to do your bidding"
Thanks, Remshen. l must be
daisy for sure. Not being clear on the
subject, l haven't given much atten-
ton to celestial matters, but now ]
think I'll give them a whirl. II fell
Ter Is going to be boss at ALL he might
as well be a boss on wheels"
"rhat is true. 0 akound, and when
you get ready to command the moon to
come of her perch l will issue procla-
nation and gather the people"
Old Remshen was a fawning sycO-
plant on skates. He had good thing
and wanted to keep 1t. He had said
the same fulsome word his master
a hundred times over, / nothing had
come Of 1t except TO NJ e his position
more solid. a day or two after the
above conversation and while he was
going around the palace with molas-
ses grin on his face the bell jlngled,
and he was called into the presence OF
his master
"By the way, Remshen, do you re-
member our little conversation the 9th
err day!" queried the akound.
"Can a slave forget his masters
wordsT asked Rcmshen as he lifted
his hands in protest
1--WE been thinking I'm a heap Of a
Teller and you know It, and | know It,
but there may be a man or two on the
outside who differs with US. want to
do something big to knock 'em all out"
"Wll it please thee to behead a thou
sand menY
"Well, yes, 1t would, but as 1t Is just
about tax time we'd better leave their
heads on their shoulders until they
have paid In the sugar. think I'll go
for the moon, Remshen. She'll be full
tonight, and I'll order her to come
down to earth"
"But, o ruler, she might be damaged
/ In the fall" protested Remshen, begin
ming to quake with fear.
"Ill look out for that Wen spread
q feather bed for her to light on. Just
issue a proclamation for the people to
gather on the east side Of my palace at
10 o'clock tonight"
"The moon, 0 ruler, is sometimes OBJ
stinate," suggested Remshen as he felt
a pain. "She has even been known to
disobey mighty potentates."
"But she'll tumble for me, or I'll
know the reason whyl Is It not in my
title that l am owner Of all the planets
above2 Get along, old boy. and issue
that proclamation. When my subjects
discover that can wallop old Luna
around at will, there'n be no more
kicking about high taxes"
Old Remshen was boxed up and
couldn't say another word. He went
away and issued his proclamation and
then beseeched the grave Of his father,
the bones of his mother and his lucky
stars to send a dark night to knock the
experiment on the head. He was look
ing bilious when night came and the
old York state cheese arose In all her
glory. Everybody in town was out
and the odds were five to one that the
akound would win. At the hour named
he appeared Oh the steps Of his palace
and lifted his hands and cried out for
the moon to take a drop. 1t was a
dead failure. He cried out again and
again, but the moon continued her gait
"Remshen," said the boss Of earth
when he realized that he was Knocked
out, dismiss the populace and come
with me-"
The populace went away with their
tongues In their cheeks, and when the
akound had reached his library be
said:
'How is this, Remshen7 Why didn't
the moon come DOWN.
90 ruler" replied the old sycophant
as his heart tunked his ribs, there is a
difference between theory and fact"
81 see. Theoretically am owner Of
the planets. Practically am an ass. 1
ought to have got on to this, but being
30 busy 1t never occurred to me. Rem
shen, old boy, come out In the back
yard with me-"
20 mighty ruler, but what would
your
"Tm going to give another illustra-
ton Of theory versus fact. Theoretically
you are my GRAND secretary and one Of
the most eminent men In the kingdom.
AS matter Of fact you are a head
shorter, and your bones win so to en-
rich my goosebeYry busiest"
III. QUAD.