Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-05-29
SPINNING WHEEL.
COME TO MAINE.


lake your rubber coat-for rain
Bring another chap along, and
Come to Maine.
Don't think you'll be the only ones
Thit're bound to come along;
There's Il big and mighty army,
And they sing mighty song.
They sing OF weighty strings of fish
You'd surely think 'em vain
But the chorus Of the song is:
Come 10 Maine"
There are plenty fish for everyone
If many more should come;
There are trout just waiting for you,
And your reel will fairly bum.
It's a pretty song it huns you,
Bug the best is the refrain;
It's enough to stir your very heart,
For it runs, 20
Come to Mane.''
Do you wonder that we people
VINO live here all the year,
Think there isn't such another place
On this terrestrial sphere!
DO you blame us when we point with pilde
TO ponds just full of fish,
And proudly think ourselves
The emily dent that's in the dish:
If you do think we're conccited
And really, hardly sane,
just get your traps together
And hustle down to Maine
You'll find fact as strange as fiction
And health that's sure TO gain,
And you'll wish, by all your lucky stars
Iou lived down here in Name
Frank Lakewood Rowe in Maine Sports
man.
Judge Broyles' clerk called aloud
Clarence Mason and Sally Simpklns!
Clarence stepped up, Il pretty Well
dressed. intelligent,looking darkey. Then
came Sally. soot-skinned. side-stepping
Sally. switching her skirts and with
large loud hat tilted down in her face.
Clarence said the judge, you are
charged with cursing this girl. What
about it,"
Sally broke in: He did. Judge; dat
he did. He used talk 10 me dat no gen
tlenan would say to colored lady"
No, sir, | never, Judge
He did, Dat he did. | heered him,
judge
Well" said the judge, what lam
guago?'
Judge, hit would make me blush ter
tell it,"
We'll. out with it; what did he sayT
Judge, it would make you blush.
Clarence, what did you say TO herr"
the Judge impatently asked.
Il don't remember saying nothing that
would make her blush. l don't reckon |
could do IT."
Sally fired up, turning a glare on Clar
ence and shouted: Judge, he's Il story,
sab. I'll tell you what he said; he called
me er hot baby. OATS what he called
me, too. now"
What about it. Clarence"
Judge, | never. | just called her
tepid infant. Atlanta Journal.
-:0:
Hicks-'It is always gratifying to
see people who have been at enmity
come together again. Gardner says that
his neighbor, Bedwick, has not spoken
TO him all winter; but this morning he
greeted him with all the fervor of a near
and dear friend
Wicks-~G Gardner had said or done
something to please Bedwick, l sup
pose?'
Hicks-''Not at all. The growing grass
in Bedwicks front yard reminded him
that the time had come around again for
borrowing GaIdner's lawn-mower. >
Boston Transcript
Mollie-"What is the difference
between the sins OF omission and the
sins of commission
BeSsie-"The letter c.
Stella-''No, the sins of commission are
those we ought not to commit and do.
and the sins of omission those we ought
to commit and do not
--o:
Growing tired of his chair. enc after
noon, Speaker Reed surrendered it to an
ether member and sat down beside Il
Western Democrat, relates Success.
My. what large hand you have" re
marked Mr. Reed, looking iEtently at the
enormous paw of his Democratic friend,
who was writing letter.
Yes, sir. said the member. land /
am proud Of it. | worked on a farm for
SO many years that my hands grew large,
as you see them.
The speaker held up his small and
shapely right hand, smooth and white as
woman's. and said:
Well, | thank the Lord l never
worked on a farm
The member replied: You are prob
ably going to run for the presidency,
sometime, Mr.. Reed, and if you do, I'll
placard that statement ali over the coun-
try-and what could YOU do about it?''
The big fellow unused awhile, and said:
Nothing except to brand you as an
internal liart'
''Now,' said the medical college pro
fessor to the class, I'VE will proceed to
the dissecting room, where the body lies.
just ahead.
Il beg your pardon, SIR remarked the
fresh student. but how can it be body
if it's just a head?'
1T can't be-" replied the professor,
beaming benignly over his glasses.
that's the reason | said it lies.''-In-
dianapolis Sun.
shows the disposition of Oxford toward
mathematics. A venerable don who had
bought half a dozen books at three and
sixpence each requested the bookseller to
give him piece of paper for the purpose
of arriving at the amount. He then
wrote down 3s6d six times, one under the
other, and was slowly adding them up,
when the shopman ventured to point out
the shorter method of multiplying one
3s6d by 6. Dear me- exclaimed the
don. really that is most ingenious, most
ingenious" Globe.
Somebody has said that women are
rarely witty, says an exchange. OF
course it is a libel on the fair sex. They
are not only witty and wise, but they
have the gift of satire that cuts quite
as neatly and cleanly as the best hits of
the Glover club or Of any other aggre-
CATION of mere males. That they can
do up their masculine friends in cpl
grammatic fashion is proved by the fol-
lowing toast proposed at a woman's ban
quet in Washington not long ago: