The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1900-03-28

and the D--l should be in litigation
with each other, which would VIM" re-
piled, THE D., 10 doubt, for he
would have all the lawyers on his sidel"
-.
The Dean was returning home dur
ing a violent thunderstorm, when he
saw a young couple under a tree by
the roadside, the girl crying over her
spoilt fnery. Stopping to say word
of consolation, he learned that they
were on their way to the parish church
to be married. He informed them that
he was a clergyman, and offered to
marry them then and there, TO which
they gladly consented. Joining their
hands, he performed the ceremony
with these words:
"Under this tree, in stormy weather,
/ Join this man and this woman together.
Let none but He who rules the thunder 49,.
Sever this man and this woman asunderP
-.
Connecticut used To be noted for the
facility with which divorces were grant
ed by the Legislature. Doctor-After-
wards Bishop-Axe, while rector at
Hartford, wro this jeu d esprit:
"For cutting all connections famed,
Connect-I cut is rightly named.
Each Legislature seems to say
"What you Connecticut awayV'
.'*
1t used to be the custom in some
parish churches to separate the men
from the women. A clergyman being
interrupted by audible talking, stopped
short in his sermon, when woman,
eager for the honor of her sex, arose
aud said, "Indeed, sir, the talk is not
among u.s." 80 much the better
answered the parson; sit will be over
the sOonerV
An eccentric English equire was 10
the habit of uttering his thoughts aloud
60 himselD, during the service. AT
the words "Let us prav," one Sunday,
he would answer Certainly very
properl let us, by all meant" When
the minister read the offertoTy sen
tence, "Behold, Lord, the half of my
goods l give to the poor" he muttered.
"Oh no! oh mol half's too much.
Can't afford it. / wouldn't mind a
tenth!" And when the parson gave out
as his text, "We brought nothing into
this world, and it is certain that we can
carry nothing out" he said, "No won
derl no wonderl we are called upon TO
give so oftenl"
Lorenzo Dow, the eccentric itinerant
evangelist, was reading the Scrip
ture lesson from the fourth chapter of
Philippians. Coming to the - h verse,
81 can do all things" ETC., he stopped
at the word "things," and said, "Ah!
Paul-Paul-that's 100 stroDgl It's
more than any man can do!'; and TAX
ing out five dollar bill, he laid it on
the page, saying, "I'll bet So you can't
do it! or any other mani" Then turning
over the leaf, he read on-"thro' Christ
which strengthened me-" And then,
taking up the bill, he said, as he re-
turned it to his pocket, 81 withdraw the
betl"
DR.. Paley, when he received his first
promotion in the church, was in very
high spirits. Attending a dinner just
after this event, and finding the
draught of window to annoy him, he
called out, "Waiter, shut dow that win.
dow at the back Of my chair, and open
another behind some curate."
-.
Some of the Scottish Presbyterian
ministers psed TO be facetious in their
choice of texts. The Rev. Hamilt IN
Paul Was one. Near his parish was q
celebrated sea bathing place called Jop.
pa. and his congregation was once
thinned by the number OF his female
hearers who went thither On the Sun.
day after, he preached from the text,
"Send men to Joppa." One of his
Practitioners, Moses Marshall, having
mysteriously disappeared, he selected
his text from Exodus xxi: GAS for
this Moses we know not what has be.
come Of him." He once proposed mar.
riage to young lady whose christian
name was Lydia. On this occasion he
took for his text, Sand a certain
woman, named Lydia, heard us, whose
heart the Lord opened, that she attend
| nd mt Nha -. l.