The age-herald., 1900-10-27
SKETCHES FROM
 EVERYDAY LIFE

 a monument to the dear departed They are not satisfied with plain prose, they want blank verse at least.
 The following inscription can be read by anyone who finds the monument.
 My husband ever true and dear,
 We near thy grave to weep.
 Yet find no consolation here
 To know that we again will meet
 What for us to shed tear
 Upon thy head, or heart or feet?'
 The most appropriate and popular in- scripdon for a philosophic or resigned widow or widower is. Thy will be done
 In large cemetery you find many a Little Tommy and Little Billie" and the following is what a wanderer in a cem- etery in a country graveyard will read: Joined the church in early life. lived and died a consistant Christian, his work is ended and reunited with his wife of almost fifty years, but not quite he lives again. peace to his memory"
 The following inscription on a monument due to a careless proof reader, is not ex- actly what the writer meant to say:
 Sleep on. father thy work is done,
 JESUS hdS come ana borne the nome.
 And this one if not in rhyme. was evil dently intended as a poetic thought:
 "It was an angel that visited the green house and took the flower away"
 story is told of a monument which bore the following inscription: John Smith died January fl and left for heaven" Someone wrote underneath it the following: Heaven, January 15, John Smith not yet arrived-great excitement
 Then there is the story of the Irishman who, standing before a monument on which was inscribed Not dead but seepeth,' ex- claimed, Faith, if Oi was dead Oi'd have the manhood to admit it"
 Another observant cemetery rounder sec ing an inscription which read, Here lies lawyer and an honest man." remarked that it was the first time he had ever seen two men buried in one grave.
 Yet with all the monuments in the world there is none to mark the grave of Annie Laurie Annie Lourie was not the figment of a poets imagination but a beautiful girl. According to the St. James Gazette she was the daughter of Sir Robert Laurie, and was born in 1882. She did not marry her lover, Douglas of England who wrote the immortal song.
 Monument or no monument, she will not be forgotten, and men will sing Annie Laurie as long as there is any sentiment left in the world.
 A young lady who is a teacher in one of the public schools and who has the na- tural pride and joy in her youth, that all young people should have. also possesses graphic descriptive powers
 She was recently telling her class of young hopefuls the story of Columbus dis covering America. The account of his perseverance and determination; how the Queen sold her jewels that he might ob- tain ships; the long voyage, the mutiny of the crew, and at last the joyous cry of land. were all graphically told-so much so that one of the small boys who had listen ed with rapt attention exclaimed, You know all about that-you must a bin there."
 The young idea, like woman, when it begins to shoot, does not always hit the mark. Teachers get some surprising an- swers to questions In a geometry class one boy described a circle as round straight line with hole in the middle. An other said that a straight line was any distance between two points. Their ideas on theology are equally vague.
 Ore of the citys charming young ladies who is great church member undertook to instruck young colored girl whom she had employed, in the catecism. She was faon h lar a1aa Gnd plained how God was an essence and a great spirit. Then she asked the girl if she understood what God
 'Yessum, He's a ha'nt.''
 
 "Yes, Judge" said the prosecutor "I was arrested recently and did not want to lose my watch 1 was afraid I would never hear it's friendly tick again So handed it to the defendant here whom I thought was my friend, to take care of it. He first took care that I was safely locked up, then not liking the way the watch ticked, and wishing to soak himself, he proceeded to Uncle Lewis where he soaked the watch. and where it ticked and was ticketed. It was a tieklish proceeding but the defend ant was highly tickled. My watch. how ever, was watched by policeman who made case of it. The defendant says the whole case is purely policeman's brass, but I can prove the case was gold"
 Tt is useless'' said the judge, q will discharge the defendant as a punishment for your puns."
 The place of all others to see the beauty show, and the world the flesh and the devil, is at the entrance to theatre None but an actor has the magic power to order out society dress parade at a given hour But for the quarter of an hour pre- ceeding the rising of the curtain, all the world in frills and feathers passes the door keeper. There is hardly anybody in town he hasn't seen, and seen to good advantage. He ought to have good opinion of peo- pie, as far as personal appearance goes, but the chances are he is soured on life from long contest with dead beats in one form or another. If he sees the world and