The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1900-09-27

hcr soils and waited for a roplg. hGt
none cgnn Ntr H iigt WUs ral
how The lifc OF nan who had fallen
on pitchfork had been saved by
Persian stomach bltters and his ears
were closed.
"As to buryin me in the back yard,
OF course you kin do as you think
best In one way II viii save you So,
and in another it'll take up ground
fur cabbages. You'll marry ag'in. OF
course, and your second wife will want
n hammock out under the trees. Meb-
be she'll object to my grave. If was
your second wife, / wouldn't object TO
your first wife's grave, but I'm differ
ent from most women. You'd better
think the thing over purity seriously.
And there's another thing, Samuel a
long time ago l told you that If you
ever got married ng'ln I'd haunt you.
was mad and said more'n ] ought
to. OF course could come back as
ghost and roost on the footboard of
the bed and keep you awake nights,
and | could hide down cellar and skecr
you most to death when you come
down after cider, but I'm not that kind
of woman. Right here and now l
want to tell you that I'll never haunt
you nor your second wife. Don't you
think I'm purity good, Samuel?'
Mr.. Gallup had finished the pitch
fork testimonial and struck one where
man had been blown up with n
stump, and he was so interested that
he didn't hear her question. She
wept for three or four minutes and
then said
"No, don't go to any unnecessary eX-
pense to lay away my mortal remains,
Samuel. AS my speert will be hyln
around in heaven it won't make no
great difference about my body. When
Mrs. Thompson died, she wanted
funeral to cost $3.50, but I'm not Mrs.
Thompson. You'll marry again, of
course, and you'll need all your money
to fam out with. Second wives allus
fam. Yours will want new dishpan,
new curtains, new knives and forks
and as many as three new tablecloths
the very fust thing. Speakin of table
cloths, Samuel I've made the last new
one last seven years. l don't expect
any praise fur it, but when your second
wife shakes one all to pieces in six
months you'll see u difference. What
kind OF a second wife are you goin to
marry, Samuel? You needn't be afraid
to tell me, fur there isn't jealous hair
in my head. VIII she be old or
youngr
M DoIIvp ,.o, ,,,poJ oDI gtvntoboI oud
thrust out his legs, but he had nothing
to say
Mrs Roedecker says you'll probably
marry a young chit of II, and Mrs.
Jackson says you'll probably look fur
n wilder with as many as five COWS,
but ! amt goin to find no fault in
either case. On the contrary, | kinder
pity you. Second wives allus smash
and break and bust things, and if you
say anything they'll sass back and pull
hair. You'll be rid of me and my trub-
bles, Samuel but there'n be times when
you'll sit down on the wash bench out
doors and wish | was back. Yes, you'll
acknowledge TO yourself that l was
hardworkin ana sayin and that / was
no hand to gad about, but I'll be an
angel, and you'll hev to plug along the
best you kin without me. That's all,
Samuel, and | will now die and bev it
over with"
She stretched out on the lounge and
folded her hands and closed her eyes,
and for ten minutes there was silence.
Then Mr.. Gallup yawned again, look
| ed around and saw her there, and as
he rose up to wind the clock and go to
! bed he Observed
you'd better turn the cat outdoors
and see If the kitchen window is fas-
tened up" NJ. QUAD.