The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-02-07
.GREAT DISPENSER
WAS VERY PROUD.
strutted Like a Peacock Over a Law
That Was Passed.
WILL PROTECT RIGHTS OF MEN,
Woman Shall Not Take Away Their
Privilc.cs-A Small Boy Z sclared
Ihcorrisible and Sent to the
Rc1ormatory-Bursl
WILL PROTECT RIGHTS OF MEN.

Inc GREAT dispenser was as proud as
a peacock yesterday over the passage of
the bill by the Legislature, which he adj
vocated, charging the powers of magis-
trates in Richmond so that they can all
offences.
He strutted into the Big White Chamber
looking as puffed up as a newly elected
constable and walked with such heavy
tread that he crumbled the thing on the
platform that raises his mighty body
above the sans culotte on 'the general
floor.
ENTERTAINING.
The Great Dispers er was highly enter
taining yesterday, and under The inspi-
ration OF an aDurcc ative and intelligent
audience emitted flashes OF wit and hum
or like an aurora borealis.
Every good point made would ccuSe
nudge by some elated auditor In the
side of his nearest neignbor as stiInulant
70 full appreciation OF the good things
that flew from the Great Dispensers lips
like water from a Erlndstone every time
you gave him a sudden turn, and there
were erratic calculations made by apop-
lectic-looking men about being peach.
other admlr1ng terms.
MARY AND MARIA.
Mary Nelson came before the Terror of
Evil Doors, charged with interfering with
and cursins and abusing Maria Fitzger-
aid.
Mary Nelson is black and young and
washes for a living
Mary Fitzgerald is not so black and not
SO Joung and is married, and therefore
the supposition that she don't have to
work prevails.
Now Maria met Mary when she was
carrying home the weeks washing, and
Maria remarked in a very aggravating
manner that ..Isham Mathews don't seem
to he toting your clothes this time.
Now right here the Great Dispenser
grew inquisitivc, and couldn't understand
how Mary Nelson, being unmarried,
should have her washing toted by a mar
ried man, or why Maria Fitzgerald. hay
ing husband. should concern herself
about the action of Isham Mathews or
any other man, or what she had to do
with Isham carrying Mary's clothes.
WILL PROTECT THE MEN.
He declared that men should not be
robbed of all their privileges by women,
and he proposed to protect the men in
their rights to carry just as many clothes
as they felt inclined.
He fined Maria Fitzgerald $3.50 for put
ting her mouth in where it didn't belong,
and fined Mary Nelson a like amount for
cursins and abusing Maria.
Nfary's industry counted for much and
she had the full amount of the fine and
costs. $50, and paid it with will. while
Maria, who made the charge, had only
s3.25, and had to go to the pen.
In a few minutes she had raised the
pile by friendly contributions to $3.50. and
E I, Frnn hut n
Napoleon of Finance ut the money-drawer
knows his business we'll, and how to wait
and ere the prisoners van came for its
daily load Maria, too, liquidated the whole
of the fine and once more proudly STROBE
across the granolithic floor.
HE CARRIED A PISTOL.
Pat Canary, a small blonde boy of the
mild-mannered type. when your eye Is on
him. was presented as a common vaSrant
His aunt Mrs Mahoney. said he was an
orphan and so bad she could do nothing
with him. and that which was worse, he
was stealing anything he could get his
hands on.
It may be mentioned as a sample of
Pats secretiveness that after having
spent the night in the station-house,
loaded pistol and a handful of cartridges
were found on his person in the Police
Court pen.
He is about eleven years old. He was
sent to the reformatory for eighteen
months
Charles Hntzler was charged with keep
ing his bar-room open on Sunday a very
rare occurrence in Richmond as every
body knows. and he was reported by
citizen.
The said citizen was afflicted with a
most defective memory when the case
was called.
The verdict was guilty, but not proven
CONFUSED HER MIND.
Mary Lewis (colored) was picked up
while prone upon the ground in an area.
She said she took some whisky ana II
had a confusing effect on her mind. She
had never done so before and was dis
charged
drunk before for three years and snc,
too. was given another show.
Ralph Williams Ccolored) was charged
with breaking the front window OF n;
II. Towards store on west broa.
street and entering the same. a smaH
colored boy slept in the store ana was
awakened by the noise and clalned 10
have recognized Ralph IN the semi-dark-
ness. Ralph claimed that he could
nroye an abb and the case was continued
one day to summon his witnesses.
THE SECOND CHAPTER.
-
James Burrell;E (colored) who was ar
rested several days ago by officer Kraft
while trying to sell gold-filled watch
for IS cents. returned to-day with the
vel, of law well woven; around him. Alvin
TalIey (coloredy identified the watch as
his. Il t. was stolen from a trunk In his
house the night of January 31st, the same
night James Burrell was trying to sell 1T
Talley's door was prlZeu open tandSh ms
trunk broken into.
James Burrell went to the grand jury.
Rurrell Green (colored) was charged
with disturbance. assaultins and striking
Martha e. .Townes. Burwell had no
recollection of the occurrence. never saw
Martha and never drank, but Martha's
mind was clear and Burrell had to pay
ten dollars.
DEAD EASY FOR HARVEY.
Harvey Thomas was charged with
striking Hattie Gates It was Hattie's 81
mind that was a blank in this CASE She
only recollected that Harvey pushed her
100 49, "a