davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28
THE COLONEL WAS EASY.
But He Had Some Ideas of Logic
Just the,

just the same.
speaking of chronic touchers," sale
man about town, Il suppose there
never was q easier victim for the
tribe than IN! old boss. The colonel,
as we all called him. had an impcdi
ment in his speech. and he usel to
claim it was easier to go down in his
pocket than to try to put up an excuse.
As a matter of fact. he had Il heart as
big as n hogshcad and simply couldn't
resist an appeal.
zone of the numerous touchers who
marked him down as prey was chap
by the name Of-well, call him Smiley.
which isn't far from the right thing.
smiley was brisk. plausible cuss
and always did his touching on the
strength of n circumstantial story, but
the trouble was he did so much of it he
used to sometimes got his cues mixed.
"The first time he tapped the colonel
he rushed in. all excitement. and told
him his wife had just fallen down
stairs and broken her leg. He needed
a ten for unforeseen expenses. and of
course he got it. Some time elapsed.
"'Coloncl.' he said in frank, bust
ncsslke fashion. can you lend me So:
l owe you little money now, but
have some sickness out at my house
and really need this amount
Whats the t-t-troublc. my b-b-bOyT
suffered the old man kindly as he
handed over the five.
"'My wife has just fractured her an
klc.' replied Smiley.
ct requires a good deal of nerve to
make third touch at the same place,
and Smiley staid away for fully six
months. When he came in, it was on
the run
Colonel he exclaimed breathless-
ly, 4 feel like a dog when | see you,
but I've got to have n couple of dollars
quick and haven't time to 20 anywhere
else. Can you accommodate me and
just make mem. OF the whole
amount? I'll send it to you next week.
"Why. what's the m-m-matterT
asked the colonel startled by his man.
ner.
"'My wife has broken her leg he
replied. and want to send cab for a
DOCTOR
B-b-broken another l-llcg" echoed
the colonel. amazed. Here's the
m-m-mOncy. Smiley. B-b-but some.
times think he added grimly, that
you m-m-must have married a
c-c-ccntiprd" New Orleans Times.
Democrat.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28

A curious souvenir is preserved in the
Bank Of England in the shape of n note
for f1.000 with which Admiral Lord
Cochraue paid his fine when he was
falsely accused of spreading, with an in
tercsted object. a rumor that BOnaparte
was dead in 1914 so as to cause rise in
the price of stocks.
The sum mentioned was raised in sub
scriptionS of a penny by his Westminster
constituents. The note is Endorsed with
the name Of the intrepid but i'll used
salt and has inscribed on it a sentence in
which he expresses the hope that one
day he will prove his innocence and tri.
umph over his accusers. That consum-
nation was not effected until IS years
later. when he was reinstated by William
IV.-London Telegraph.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28
Not n IInrIShiD,

"Do Mr.. and Mrs WickclSOn the PEG.
pie who live across the hall from you
ever disturb you at night by their quar-.
reling? | am told that they fight like
cats and dogs"
'Thcy do fight, but we are not dis.
turbcd in the least. My husband al.
ways permits me to let the transom
down and listen without a protest.
Chicago Times Herald.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28
Out of IEiS line.

"Jijiy." said the answers to CORE
spondcnts man, who had occasion to
refresh his memory, "whcn was it the
Haryard-Yalr debating contest came
Off? Do you rcmcmber?"
you'll have to ask de Sportin cdi-
tor, responded the office boy. "IIc
keeps track Of dem college games."-
Chicago Tribune.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28
Yankee Thrift.

A guest with an irascible temper at {
hotel in a New England town forn(
that the dinner was not to his liking
and he had no hestancy in telling the
waiter so. Finally he threw down his
knife and fork.
WELL" he exclaimed, there's no ust
in talking. | can't eat this stuff"
I'm sorry, sir" responded the wait
er, but you might as well, for you'll
have to pay for it anyhow."-Detroi
Free Press.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28

lie mad" ne eat by WOrdS.'
The villain strobe stflly to the center
of the stage. His gait making it easy
for the calcium light man to keep him
''covcrcd."
"Ile made me eat my words! 'Tis
true, but 10 matter. They were writ
ten OH Soda cracker, with my usual
foresight"
And he laughed cruel. crafty laugh
Baltimore American.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28

'What is the difference between a
sharp man and smooth raScal?"
''Frcqucntly there is no difference.
The term depends upon whether you
profit or lose by the operations Of the
man in question: Post.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28
Chance to Get Even,

Young accommodating, | think
l should like to take your little brother
with us to Niagara falls.
Bridc-IIow kind that would be OF
you. Harry.
Young BridcGroom-YcS. should
Hike to push him over thcm.-Chicag 80
Tribune
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28

"Looks as though our day was done"
said the detected horse
"Oh. | don't know" replied Opt.
mistic Dobbin. They'll need leather
for certain parts of these automobiles,
and they'll probably use our hides for
that. "-Philadclphia Press.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28
Reliable Medicine.

ado you believe in mind cure?'
yes" answered Mr.. Meektons wife.
ut sometimes works with matters of
habit. Every time give Mr.. Meckton
piece Of my mind about smoking /:
cures him for several days" Washing
ton Star
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28
Conditions Changed.

"Thcir married life isn't happy, ch?"
"Shc says such sharp and sarcastic
things to him it's becoming unbeara-
BILE
"Why, he told me before he married
her that that was what he admired
most about her.
Eyes, He considered it wit them
Philadelphia Press.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28
Not TrPntpI Well.

Prison NisitOr-You are well treated
here are YOU not?
COnVict-No, amt.
81 am surprised. fell me what you
wish the prison authorities to do for
your comfort"
"Lemme out."-New York Weekly.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28
His Old Habits Abandoned.

"lt was too bad about Nell Richman's
husband dying so suddenly, wasn't it?''
"Did he die suddenlyT'
eyes. Hadn't you heard about it?"
"NO. | thought he was from Phila.
delphia. Times Herald.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28
The UnpnrdOnRbIe Sin

Girls are getting awfully finicky."
"What's the matter now?"
"That girl refused me-"
"Did she give any reason?"
"She says | made pun while | was
proposing to hcr."-Detroit Free Press
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28

"Thc man I'm going to marry will
never throw it up to me that my maid
en- name was Smith"
"Why won't hct'
Ills name is Jones" -Iniianapoiis
journal
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28

what branch of art does your fricnG
prefer" asked the young woman.
81 don't know" answered Miss Cay
ennc. but should say he is an i'm
prcsSioniSt."
"IIas he produced anything remark
able in that line?'
Eyes; the impression that he is an
artist" Star.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28

Bella-Whrn you showed him my
picture last night, he said | was very
good looking, didn't he? Now, honest!
Stclla-No, indeed. dear. Quite the
reverse. He said it was Il very good
likeness. Press.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28

RorrOwell-J can't imagine what you
see in Smithl,ins. He's so very duh
WigWaG He's sharp enough 10 cut
you.-Phila lrlphia Record
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28
Miscellaneous Advertisements.
Have You a House

That is Not Insured ,
If So, You Should Place a Policy
On 1t To-Day,
Or Tomorrow Before You Dine.
Won should place the risk, too, with Il
i standard company, such as are repre-
scented by ID. p. MILLER, of Cumberland.
ANY policy is good until a fire occurs, but
then it is you want pledge of indemnity for
loss worth its face in gold. Apply at once to
J. B. ODER,
March Is MINING JOURNAL Office
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-04-28

The Little Onc-I'm back.
The Tai Gnc-Im Il half back.
I'll" Little CA" Vim, 1hr half seems
TO i'c greater than the whole. Judy.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13
THE WOODLAND CAMP.

''There is spot where the plumy pines
"O'erhang the sylvan banks of Otters
Where pigeons feed among the vines
That hang above the limpid water.
There wood ducks build in hollow trees,
And herons among the matted sedges,
While drifting on the summer breeze
Float satin clouds with silver edges.
otis there the bluejay hides her nest,
In thickest shade of dropping bushes,
The fsh-hawk, statue-like in rest,
Stands guard DER CLASSY pools and
The trout beneath the grassy brink,
Looks out for shipwrecked flies and
midges,
The red deer comes in search Of drink
From laurel brake and woodland ridges.
"Beneath hemlock grim and dark
Where shrub and vine are INTERVENING,
Our shanty stands well rooted with bark,
In which cheerful fire ia shining.
The smoke ascends in spiral wreaths,
With upward curves the sparks are
trending,
The coffee kettle sings beneath,
Where smoke and sparks and leaves are
blending"
Forest and Stream.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13
How iO Destrov NosuuitOes

1.-TWO and One-half hours are re-
quired for a mosquito to develop from
IFS first stage, a speck resembling
cholera bacteria, to it's active and ven
Omous maturity.
The insect in all its phases may
be instantly killed by contact with
minute quantities of permanganate Of
potash. 1t is claimed that one part
of this substance in 1900 of solution
distributed i'll mosquito marshes will
render the development of larvae i'm
possible; that a handful OF permanga-
nate will OXidize ten-acre SWamp,kill
the mbryo insects and keep it free from
organic matter for thirty days at n
cost of twenty-five cents. that with
care. Il whole State may be kept free
of insect pests at small cost. An
efficiOus method is to scatter Il few
crystals widely apart. A single pinch
of permanganate has killed all the
germs in Il thousand gallon tank
1t is generally believed that the fill
ing in CT marshes with ashes from
cities. etc. prevents the development
of these pests. 1t is doubtless because
the potash teaches from the ashes and
like 4 solution OF perman&anate of pot
ash renders the development of insect
life mp0ssible.-Public Health jour
nal
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13

end, touching Cathcarr upon the shout
der, she said. with sudden surprise:
"NNho is that beautiful lady? The
face is not strange to me-
That he said, lis the portrait OF
my wife, ANNA
Your wife! She was my best friend
when I was ill in Rome. She tended
me in the hospital; she supported me
during the weary months of GONZALES
cence. She was more than a mother
to me. You must not suffer, for her
sake alone. | came to ell you that
the Government troops bave been
securing the hills. Tomorrow, should
they approach. you might be. made
away with. You must fly tonight"
Fly said Cathcart. I'VE are
watched and guarded.
Fortune favors you. escape to-
night she said. This is my birth
day. anu before an hour passes there
will be high carnival mere. You will
be asked to drink. Do not refuse: but
the cups Of all the others shall be
drucged When they sleep we shall
set off Will you put yourself in my
hands,
Certainly" said Cathcart. You are
as noble as you are beautiful
Amid the wild revel of the birth.
night celebration Cathcart's heart
trembled within him. What was Ter
esa doing? Did she repent of her
promise While these thoughts occu-
pied Cathcart Teresa reprOached Con
RADIO with not having toasted her
health that evening. Understandable en-
thusiasm followed as Conrado filed
out a tiagon.
ITO Teresa. our beauty they said,
as they drank the insidiOus draught.
The deed was done.
One by one the noisy briganGs
dropped to sleep, and Teresa beckOned
to the prisoners to follow her.
They journeyed through the small
hours Of the morning over many rug
ged. treeless sleeps and through many
windings of the mountains.
The beautiful face of Teresa. her
jublant spirits. captivated the heart
of the valet. When they reached &C.
nOa. Mr.. Cathcart begged Teresa never
again to return to her mountain life.
New York News.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13
a Silver BedYcon


One OF Newports richest women has
a house which is q dream Of beauty
and good taste, and her bedroom is thu
loveliest thing l ever saw. The who,I
room has the effect Of white ami sill,
yer. The wood work IS white the
wall paper white and silver. Her bed
stead Is white enamel, with bars anG
posts and knobs Of silver Her dress.
Ing table Is white, with q beautiful Old
fashioned standing oval mirror on it.
In carved silver frame. Instead 81
a small pin cushion in the middle az
trays for pins and stick pins, she ha
two good sized sensible triangular PHI
cushions, covered with white satin err.
broidered in silver, and fitted into thu
two upper corners OF her dressing ia
Bile; OF course, her complete toilet SO
is silver. Then on her writing desk
she has solid silver blotting book. q
pad OF blOtting paper. with a silver
back, as II were. Such an improve
ment on the pads with silver corners,
which are always coming off. And
she has small silver bowl filled with
sand, where her pens are stuck 10
keep them from rusting Her silver
inkstand has small tank attached.
which her maid fills every day. and
mucilage pot, sponge holder and paper
cutter, all In silver. In her dressing
room, off from her bedroom, she has
the loveliest toilet outfit imaginable,
silver tooth powder bottle and a
most attractive silver rack, with a
place for tooth brush for every day
IN the week. The tooth brushes are
OF ivory and numbered with tiny -il-
yer figures There are silver pegs over
the washstand, as well, to hang
sponges, etc, on, and silver stands for
toilet waters. The articles were all
made to order for the lady in Vienna.
but probably they can be duplicated
here with slight variation in form and
ornament. II one can afford the lux
ury.--Ed'th Lawrence, in the Ledger
Monthly.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13
Garlic Eaters in the United States.

There are between 100000 and 300
600 pounds of garlic annually con-
sumed by Italian. French and other
foreign residents of the United States"
said a wholesale dealer in the vegeta-
bic in New York City recently. about
tmCc-Quartcrs of the garlic eaten in
the country is imported from Italy and
the rest is raised on farms in COnnecti
cut, in Louisiana, in Texas and in
New Mexico. All garlic, both import
ed and American, is put up in strings
or punches. The vegetable is put up
in that form because it keeps better
and can be easier handled. The work
is done entirely by hand, and an eX
pert buncher can put up from 400 to
800 lunches a day.
"GarIic comes in hampers containing
about ITO pounds. 1t is sold by the
pound or by the bulb, which is worth
one cent. In its commercial form dry
garlic does not yield the strong smell
TO" which it is famous. When stacked
up in large quantities or packed in a
hamper, there is no motto BILE odOr
from the vegetable. But = one of the
several bulbs of which each set is com
posed, and which are called cloves of
garlic are broken off and cut i'll two
the powerful and characteristic odor
at once becomes perceptible. Wash
ingtOn Star.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13
An AntediIuyian Fish I'm n Glacier

State Fish and Game Commissioner
Johnson is one of the oldest cowboys
in the State. He is an exceptionally
entertaining talker and man who in
past years has been considered mod
est. truthful and kind to those easily
induced to believe stories concerning
the beasts of the field and the fishes of
the sea.
But he has apparently changed. This
morning he claims to have seen man
who saw a fish frozen in the ice in the
perpetual glacier of Longs Peak.
The story is a true one said Mr.
Johnson. for the man who told it to
me is scientist and zone of the most
prominent men in the country His
discovery will be announced at Wash
ington and a scientific investigation
may follow. He tells lie the fish ap-
pears to be about eighteen feet in
length. as nearly as one could estimate
looking through field glass;
But there are no fresh water fish
of such proportions was yentured.
"'TiSn't Il fresh water fish. It's a
salt water fish,
But how did it get there:'
Easily enough to a fish man. That
fish has been frozen in the ice gia-
cier there ever since the time of the
Flood, when all the land was inun-
dated. That is the reason the find is
an important one.'-Denver Coli
Times
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13
High Prices For Chinese Pottery.

In London recently very high prices
We're given for some pieces Of Nankin
pottery. the purchasers being probably
moved to unusual prodigality by a
suspicion that after the present Chi
ueSe troubles shall have been settled
such pottery will be more than ever
difficult of procurement. Three vases,
each ten inches high. brought $l153.
and Il pair of long necked bottles sold
for $1,000.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13

Tommy-"Pop, what is muscular
Christianity" Tommy's Pop-"Mus-
eular Christianity, my son, is the kind
that prompts a man to walk to church
and put the dime in the collection pate
Then he feels that he is ten CENTS
ahead Of the game"
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13
Deafness Cannot BE Cured

BY local applications, as they cannot reach the
diseased portion of the ear. There is only one
WaG TO cure DEAFNESS. and that is by constitu-
canned condition of the mucous lining of tile
Eustachian Tube. When this tube ia IN
feet hearing, and whom it is entirely closed
pesfness Is the result, and unless the imam
maIion can be taken out and this tube re.
stored to its normal condition hearing viii he
destroyed forever. Nine cases out Of ten ara
samed by eatarrh which nothing in
We vii nl Nv n OF re mucous surfaces.
case OF Deafness caused by catarrh] that can.
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure SenS
for circulars. free Seho
7: ]: CHzNEy & Co., Toledo. O.
nall Fsuily Pulls are the best
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13
puupeut parapfaDIS.

When a man tells you that honesty
is the best policy you may take it for
granted that he has tried both.
Some men are so perverse as tC die
just the day after bargain sale in
mourning goods.
Wigg-''You used to detest that girl,
and now you are in love with her. [
remember you once said that she didn't
know enough to come in out CT tn
rain" Wagg-"And | still insist that
she is little duck
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13

De Tanque-"Guzzler is pretty
strong drinker, isn't he?" O'Sosque-
"Strong? Pooh! Why, sometimes he
can't even raise the price of drink
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13
AN
Women
Nz10w

That ordinary treatment
fails 10 relieve painful
PerS0ass
"eykacwk yaSSa 4. Pink
ham Is Vegetable Conn.,
sSoxna viii assG s5oes anS
has, more fkas ANY ofkser
s1seaIcksse-
Every woman knows
akouf Mrs. P5nkhan,,s
1,seaioine-
Every woman knows
some woman Mrs. Pink
ham haS ous'eA1
Rsf nine wes.sen out of
ten put off getting iris Fe~
liable remedy until their
health Is nearly ws'eckad
by experiments or see~
EecfE
Then fhSy write 70 Mrs.
PkEk7aass sRses size csss.es
fhasssy kNf Of course i.
takes longer to do SO.
Dofs'f dsEay getting issip If
you arc skoks
Size has helveg "a sesEyyfoz
women Why ssef yoss p
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13
columbia Business College. coksuns'a'

" Best business and Shorthand Courses
better Inducements. and more Graduates
placed IN positions than all other Business Colleges
in S. G.. mbined. Terms low. CatalOg FREE.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13

girl may have diamonds Sc in her
teeth and still not be a brilliant con-
versationalist.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13

FITS perma nently cured No fits or nervous
ness fter first day of DR.. kltne's Grcpt
Nerve Restorer. So trial bottle and treatisefree
Dr. X. II. KLINE, Ltd. 93l Arch ST. Phla, Pa
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13

The successful borrower always
keeps in touch with the public
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13

Have you ever experienced the joyful
sensation OF good appetite? You will if
you chew Adams Pepsin Tutti Fruit.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13

Chief Of Detectives -"Haye you
found that missing 12-year-old girl?''
detective Sleuthpup-"No, I'm com
3letely baftled. I've been to every ics
,ream saloon and and soda fountain in
the city"
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
5 Held For Ransom, 5
-
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
L was evening among

L was evening q among
the olive sandaled
Apennines." An En-
glisbman and his
valet had climbed
the steep Via Cru
els, and, seated upon
o projecting rock,
were entranced by
t II G bewildering
blue of the Medi-
terranean. L Ii e
breeze from the
hills was ruft1lng
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13

,Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infalli,
hle medicine for coughs aud colds.-N. w.
SAMUEL. Ocean Grove. n. J., Feb. II, 1900.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13
An Extensive Mileage Book Service,

Mrs. Wfnslow's Soothing Syrup FOR children
teething, softens the gums, red uces in fnmnn-
ion. alays pain. cures wind collie, CSC. a bottle
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13

1t is not until they get into tight squeez
that some men become sponges.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13

II III K4AtsHsIFt -IfIeVSe BOOK ServIce.
Arrangements have been effected by
which 1000 mile books, the price OF
which Is s25 co each issued by the
SEABoARD AIR LINE RAILWAY, are hon
0red through to Washington over the
Pennsylvania Railroad; from Portsmouth 10
Baltimore over the Baltimore Steam Packet
Company, and between Clinton and Column
bia over the Columbia. Newserry & Laursns
railroad. This arrangement includes the
books Issued by the Florida Central & PENN
sular and Georgia d Alabama Railroad.
Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1900-09-13

Hoax-"They say She is a dnishel
musician" Joax-"Fiujshed? Is -
dead?"