davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Trxina to Please EmnIovers.

Mistress-I am surprised. You say
you were married six months ago, d.
vorced three months ago and remar-
ried your husband last night.
Domestic-Yes' m. You see, at the
first place he had they wanted a mar
ried man, so we got married; but the
next place they wanted a single man,
so we got divorced, and / came here.
Now he's found a place where they
want a man for gardening and wife to
cook, so we got married again and I'm
going there with him.-New York
Weekly.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
our FIan

Wave on. o banner beautiful.
Wave on with power and might.
Pr0claiming freedom, liberty:
Wave on, o banner bright
America, our honOred land
BE not cast down this day.
Thy sons have gone TO fight for thee
Thy daughters watch and pray.
Dear flag, so beautiful and free.
In dust you shall not drag.
o sailor boys, o soldiers, brave,
Protect our country's flag.
Wen trust in God and pray to him
To guide our steps Alright,
And We Will punish all who dare
Insult our banner bright
Our country's flag, long may IL wave
All DER this glorious land.
aud may it never be removed
Except by Gods own hand.
Dora f. Jones.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
eeoRcIE's FATHER.
He Kills Chickens and Makes a Mess
Of II


It's Turrabie Thing to have paw
what likes the site of blud. Sumtimes
il makes me trimble fer Fear he mita
go rcng and Do offel Deeds before he
thot.
We was Taken about the war one
mite, and nav sed she Didn't see How
soljers could ever Bare to Look at
people gittin shot to peaces and the
Blud Runnen Down the Battle Shared
plane IN Rivers.
"It's amt nawthin," paw sed ter
men with nurv. l amt never effect
ed by the Site OF Blud. People often
say they wooden't Look at a prize fite
Becoz it's so buddy. But thay are
chicken-hearted. like to see people
with strong stummicks."
So Uncle Henry Sent us too young
chickens up from the Country in a
Box and NAV Told Paw he must Chop
thare Heds of SO she could cook them
for Sunday dinner Paw Dident say
nothin. But purity soon l snuck out
the Back way and he was Talken to
the Grocery boy tryin to Hire him to
kill them. but the Boy Sed he wasn't
Looken fer q job except It was ia a
Bank with hours from ten to Three.
Then paw come back and sed If I
would Do the Rest, and him and me
and the pupp and Little albert Went
Down to the Basement WHARF the too
Chickens was and Got Reddy fer the
Slotter. Paw took off his Cote and
Rolled up his sleeves and Hollered
Shoe at one OF the Chickens what was
Pokin its head up Between the Stats
of It's Box.
After we got a Bord fxt 60 Lay the
Chickens He'd on paw says to me.
Now you Take the chicken out and
put its He'd on the bord and Shut your
Iyes.'
Done mi part all Rite, But list
about the time paw Got reddy to Come
Down with the Ratchet the pupp
jumped at the chicken and it gerked
and the Hatchet Spit open one Side
Of its He'd and it Give a turrable
Skowk and paws Ease got Dethly
pail and he Set Down on a Box and
ssd purity Feable:
cit that Dawg out of Here"
So l let go OF the chicken and the
pupp made a grab fer Il, and it Flew
at Paw and He Struck at il. But the
Bud went all over Him. and little
albert Was Bollen like if It was Him
and not the chicken what Got Hurt.
and Nav was upstares screemin Like
o cat with its Tale cot I'm the DOre
Crack and the other chicken Cot
cut aud thay was cackel Lun like II
thap had jist Lade about a Duzzen
aigs apiece and was Glad of il.
Then paw Braist up and Hit the
pupp with the Furness poker and the
Pup Got Discouraged and Went up to
WHARF nav was and me and paw
went chaser the chickens around thru
the Basement over the cole and I'M
der Boxes and in der corners WHARF II
was So Dark you couldn't git your
Breth without striker a match, and
purity soon paw seen one Of Them
Scroogen Down Behind sum Barls
aud he went to make a kwick grab fer
IT,, But dident notus q Bord what was
nailed up to hold one end of a shelf
and hit his he'd again It.
! dunno whether the sound I Herd
frum the other End of the Baismunt
was when his he'd hit the Bord OF
when he set Down on the hard fore
Mebby it mite Of Bin both. He Done
them so near together.
When they was put on the Table
q Sunday paw purtended he Haden't
never herd Of them Before Georgie
In Chicago Times-Herald.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
The Whirlinn of lime.

Don't you like the dear old songs
our mothers used to sing us to sleep
with?" asked the sentimental person.
NO, sir" answered the man who
has snow-hakes for blood corpuscles.
Il endeavor to be consistent, and
realize that people used to keep the
neighbors awake with those songs.
just the same as they are doing now
with obnoxious ballads, which ia
twenty or thirty years will be referred
to by people with tears in their eyes
as the dear old songs Washington
Star.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
A narrowing Test.

John said the returned Admiral
seating himself in the bay window.
the people seem to be fond OF me
Eh?"
They do. sir" answered his priyati
secretary "rhey do indeed"
And yet sometimes. John. pursued
the hero, Sometimes I distrust the
pormanency Of even such popularity
John-do-do you suppose they will
shovel the snow of my pavement 70;
me?"
The secretary paled. He had no.
thought OF that-New York Press.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Diplomatic Relations.

To-day the American Ambassador
was dining with the Queen of England.
Can anything" her majesty was
exclaiming most feelingly ever
again close the doors between these
two great rival nations?"
We'll, You Maybrick it up, yon
know" replied the ambassador hui
morously.
Here the queen playfully smashed
his excellency over the head with the
coffee urn.
Amt you terriblel" she protested,
and changed the subiect.-Detroit
Journal.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
rhat aov Analn-

Pop" said the boy who had been
taken to see the pantomime. do all
ladies' look like them IN the show
when they amt got dresses on?"
"Of course replied the father IN.
advertently.
go 20 bed, Johnniel" criod tina
mother. "And now, sir" turning 10
the father. u should like 10 know
what special advantage you have for
informing yourself so generally on
such matters. Philadelphia North
American.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05

Political Rivals.

my left leg" said the candidate for
sheriff, was shot off in the civil war,
and to-day, my friends, the bones Of
that leg are bleaching in the valleys
OF Virginia. What can my opponent
say to that? l pause for q reply!"
Il can say lots to that, fellow-citi-
zens," said the rival candidate, as he
mounted the stump: 81 had the rheu-
matism when the war broke out, but
1 hired three men to 60 and fight for
me. Zach man of them had his right
leg shot off. and to-day-yes, to-day
the bones Of those three right legs
and not one of them was as bow.
legged as my friend is-are bleaching
on the plains of Tennessee. Atlanta
Constitution.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Wooed and Won.

The rich Old man woes the mef.
cenary young girl.
Il am" he protests. finally, "a con.
sistent Christian"
Here tho girl laughs derisively. for
religion cuts no ice with her.
Scientist" adds the old man. I'm.
ishing his sentence.
IL Is at this point that the moroen.
airy young girl throws herself with %
glad cry upon the rich old mana
neck; deeming It likely that he will
de about the FIRST time he gets sick
Detroit Journal.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Uncle HlII's Ideas.

Haste makes waste, and too much
waist makes people slow.
Sometimes a man finds out that his
better half is a counterfeit.
The reluctance Of servants to work
in the suburbs is considered one of
their shortcomings.
Some men will do ten dollars worth
OF hard work thinking of schemes to
avoid earning an honest ffty-cent
piece.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Queen Of the Arkansaw.

Maid Mary of the Arkansaw OF beauty
cannot boast.
No gallant knight ia sparkling wine
her eyes would care to toast,
Her figure not a connoisseur would
call Of perfect mould.
And In her hair there's many q silver
thread among the gold
And yet admirers by the score are
seeking for her hand
From cowboys, rough in speech and
dress, to nahobs of the land:
They see In her without q doubt a
most enticing prize
She owns thousand head of steers,
and beef is on the risel
Denver Evening Post.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
JINeLEs
A Great Dream eook.

lie wrote book and sent q copy
TO one whom he adored:
lie put these words upon the fiy-leaf.
4 pray 1t may afford
You such sweet pleasure In the read
ing
As Is has given me
Tie while | wrote II. dreaming
dreaming
Shall I confess?--of theel"
In time he got the maidens answer:
Thanks for your book" she said;
1T has AFFORDED me much pleasure
And still Il is unread.
Each-day when I loll IN my hammock
have your book with me-
You wrote Il dreaming, and In reading
/, too, have dreams" she said.
Chicago Timos-Herald.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
The Anvil AeeompanIss.

The heroine in. the light opera waI
reluctant.
II do not like to marry n mere blaels
smith" she faltered, shudderingly.
But ! shall not always be a black
smith, whispered the brave hero.
Now her gray eyes we're full OF won
der.
Then you don't expect to remain Z
bassog she exclaimed. incredulously
To be sure, stranger things thar
this have happened. even In light
opera.-Detroit Journal.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Missed Chances.

Some men get on in life because
They like to do their best,
And many a toiler rises just
To keep up with the rest.
There's many a man who wins because
Good luck falls in his way,
But never a one by grieving DER
a chance missed yesterday.
Chicago Times Herald.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Emphatic Enough.

The angry father strobe into the
parlor.
Girls" he said. who are these
young men?"
Papa" replied one OF the daugh.
ters, this is Mr.. Young and this is Mr.,
Yates"
Whereupon the old gentleman invit
ingly opened the door
Git" he Numbered.
And they got. A word to the VS.
was ufIicient-Chicago Tribune.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
An Amended Statement.

JaclS-You are the only girl
Mabel-Come, nowl You know
can't believe that.
Jacll-Wait till / am through You
are the only girl who ever refused to
believe that she was the only girl
ever loved.-New York Journal.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Me- eIven to complalnInn.

Buggins-Wigwag is the most sub.
lime optimist I ever knew.
Muggins-In what way?
Buggins-He laid up with a sore
throat and when | sympathized with
him he said it wasn't as bad as it
might. be if he were a giraffe.-Phila-
delphia Record.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Like DAYS Of Yore.

Grandma-What time did Mr.. Lip
pnicott leave last night, Oracle?
Gracefully, grandma, he started
for home at
Grandma (mildly)-Never mind
when he started; | asked you when he
left.-Brooklyn Life.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Eollowlna the scent.

First Explorer-Great Scott. man,
what's that strapped on that last
sledge?
Second Explorer-Dots Limburger
cheese. We drop Off a pound each
mile. Now We can't get loosded, amt
it?"-Truth.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Not His Voice.

Mrs. Crimsonbeak--Ha Mr.. Grim
sonbeak got home for dinner yet,
Bridget?
Brldget-No, mum.
Il thought l heard him downstairs"
Sure that was the dog you heard
growlin' mum" -Yonkers Statesman.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Times Have Changed.

People do not indulge IN transports
Of innocent Joy as they did when the
world was younger" said the Pessi
mist BOarder.
You should bear in mind that there
were no other transportation facilities
In those days" said the Cheerful idiot
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Taetless.

Il do wish | was the two-headed
man, said the young man who is al
ways making social blunders.
You would only make twice as many
blunders." said his friend.
Not |. / would keep one head busy
All the time apologizing. -Indianap-
oils Journal
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Why He wept.

Death is a sad thing, said the
stranger to the man who stood weep.
ing beside a grave.
1T Is, indeed" sobbed the other.
And you are sOrrOwing over the
loss OF q very dear friond?" asked the
stranger
I am sorrowing over the grave Of q
man l never knew" replied the mourn.
en- "He was my wife's first husband"
Chicago News.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Measurement.

Gertrude, I've brought you hons
two bushels of artificial violets."
Two bushels! Have you lost your
mind?'
No; but hard you say you wishei
you had as many on your hat as tina.
girl next door. Boston Traveller
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Ready for ANYTHING.

HE knows how to adapt himself to
circumstances"
80 he does. Although he seldom
gets to one, he takes even a swell din
ner as a matter of course.-Philadel
phia Bulletin.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Not a Violent Case.

Mrs. Peck-Henry, what would you
do If were to die suddenly?
Henry-Pray, don't talk of such a
thing. | think it would almost drive
me crazy.
Mrs. Peck-Do you think you would
marry again?
Henry-Oh, no; l don't think I
would be as crazy as that-Chicago
News
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
The cornfed PhlIosopher.

This is the time of year." said the
Cornfed Philosopher. when a man can
send his wife out in the country to
save expenses and can then loaf
around downtown and get lots Of SYM
PATTY and have a good time
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Prefers Snakes.

Stick to beer" said the brewer,
and you won't see snakes"
Perhaps not" replied the inebriate,
but beer is full OF hops, and between
frogs and snakes / prefer snakes -
Philadelphia Record.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
The Newest Thino.

she-Papa was asking me if you
we're not a goldbug.
He-You just tell papa I am a kiss.
ing bug.
And he proceeded to demonstrate
indianapolis Journal.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
The unattaInahIe.

ooh, that had the wings OF a dove.
she exclaimed, and sighed and sighed
The Fates exchanged meanins
glances.
Shes a blame sight more likely Ia
get crows feet" observed the Fates
speaking among themselves.
The fable teaches the unwisdom o.
laundering too hard for the unattaina.
ble.-Detroit Journal.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Drastic Measures.

Hoax-HOw did you finally get rid
of those undesirable neignoors?
Joax-Well, first / hung a scarlet
fever sign on the door, and when that
gets invited to one, he takes even a
swell dinner as a matter of course
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Aroused Her Suspicion.

Nell-Pm sure George had been
drinking before he called
Belle-Why?
Nellie looked at the clock and
wanted to know If It kept rag time
PHILADELPHIA Record
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05

The Patterberrys are awfully care
less about that old horse of theirs.
They let him run all over the lawn %
II suppose they know hes reached
the careless horse age"
THE what?'
THE antithesis OF horseless car
rage"
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
The Proud Father.

Father-James, you know I disap-
prove very much of your fighting, but
l cannot help feeling proud Of you for
whipping such a big boy as that. What
did You whip him for?'
Son (indignantly)-Why, he said
looked like you.-Harlem Life.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
What Susie Says.

Susie says she wouldn't marry a
bald widower il he was worth mil.
lion"
why not?"
she says if she has to have a bald
husband she wants to make him bald
herself. Indianapolis Journal
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Evervthlnn q disease.

Doctor, If microbes in food are
hurtful, what makes me get so stout?"
oh, my dear madam, there is a
hesh-produeing microbe, you know. -
Indianapolis Journal.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Confederate.

What lovely waste basket the edi.
tor has
Yes, he is so dnd-hearted he means
the poets lines shall fall in pleasant
places. philadelphia Bulletin.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05

Civil war is brewing in Kentucky,
declares the Chattanooga Times The
Times is mistaken. They don't brew
things down in Kentucky. Their spA.
cialty is d1srllins -Washington Post
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
rhe EaIr MAID AGAIN.

Where are you going my pretty
maidf"
Il am going a golfing. sir," she said.
May | 90 with you, my pretty
maidT'
Il have sticks in plenty, sir" she
said
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
A Correction.

James" said his mother. "Ive told
you four times to stop making tina,
racket"
Five, mamma" replied the youth,
who has a great future before him "
the exact sciences.-Phil. North Amer
lean.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05

Can Mr.. Bryan accumulate set OF
views acceptable to the New Workers.
and at the same time please the ad-
mirers Of the money Of the people?-.
Washington Post.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05

The rest Of the people OF Massachu-
s-tts are just as much in love with lib.
erty as Senator Hoar. but they do not
spprove Of the Atsinsonian brand Of
the article -~springfeld Union.
.~ : ~
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
purInn the ouarrel.

Hubby Cangrily)-Whatever 1 say
goes.
Wife (sweetly) OF course it does.
dear. You say II so loud that it goes
all over the neighbOrhood.-New York
World.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Unwarranted Pride.

81 belong to a swell family" boosted
the sponge.
Yes" responded the towel. and.
like SO many swells, you're an old
soak. "--Philadelphia Bulletin.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
In the BARNARD.

Dolly Duck-What is Mr.. CoclSa-
doodler Growing about now.
Gussie Goose-Oh, that's just an
echo Of his wifes lay.-Philadelphia
Bulletin.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Judaina From Its Rrevltv

Look at Miss Bunk in her rainy day
skirt"
Great Scott She must be expecting
a flood.-Chicago Record
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
The Genuine Thinq.

Hewltt-What do you consider real
rony?
Jewett-Having your foot fall asleep
when you want to run for q train
New York World.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
press Ind Hose.

Mrs. Green is awfully mad at he.
next door neighbor for sprinkling her
lawn"
rs she? How silly"
"Oh, / don't know. You see. she
had il on. "-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
A Eavorite.

Greene-what is your favorite ami.
NAL?
De Witt-The one that wins when |
have money on it.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
WHAT % You WANr7

Advertise your wants In the E1enins
Journal. Employment wan1ed. neip
wanted. to let. for rent. for sale. boards
ing. and lost and found ads. viii be pub
lished, three lines. one time, sur otrhs
thrsu times ror ouareW
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05

Advertise your wants n the Bvenane
Journal Employment wanted, hep
vented. 10 let. Tor rent for sale. board.
ns and lost and found ads viii be pub
ushed three lines. one time. fur G DINE:
shr-a tssnss Tor uuarceN
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
What chrIstIans can HIm.

Teacher-What is your Christian
name, little boy?
Little Isaac Einstein-Sheeny Ike
ExchanVa
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
The Loqle Of II.

Old Lady--Why do you have such
dirty, grimy face?
Hobo-I s'pose, lady, it comes from
travelin' on me cheek.-Philadelph
Record.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Mlaht Get His Share.

Sociologist-What are your views
on the division of labor?
Weary Watllins-If you mean divid.
in it all up again, amt in for it.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
How He Avoided It.

Hoax never can hear to see a
woman stand IN the street car.
Joax-sane here. I always buy a
paper
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Not s,rewn With Roses.

My path in life is not strewn with
roses remarked the beggar.
Then here's a cent" said the kind.
hearted old lady.-Philadelphia Rec.
ord
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Horrows EverYthIna EIse.

"Shortleigh is always cheerful
never borrows trouble
He has to draw the line some.
where"
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05

what is forced merriment?"
1T is the kind timid man gets OF
when his wife gives a dinner"-Chi-
cago Record.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Not 70 Blame.

The Elderly Lady They say hiI
Wife has money.
We'll, that isn't his fault They've
only been married a short time. -
Life.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
He Found II.

Ro1nder-How did you come to
cet that black oye
91anaer-oh, lclking for trouble.--
pacE.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05

"How's the dentist next to you max.
ing out2"
well, I should judge his business
We bowling success - Philadelphia
Bu.,etln,
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
An Important Distinction.

Il lost my purse this afternoon"
Gracious, Julia, were you going
shopping or coming back
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
AS He Found II.

Il asked "A scissors sharpener tho
other day what he thought Of life"
What did he reply?"
THAT It was one continual grind"
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
Aboard the Yacht.

The Skipper-You look terribly
gloomy. What's got into you?
The other-Nothing that hasn't got
out again.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
A Missouri Mule.

There was an old Mule from Missouri
Who shot his hind limb out like fury;
A Zulu said. "Therel"
AS he went through the air,
Dat muels a lalapaluly."
Minneapolis Journal.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
strIetIY AZ az.

Now this trouble at Womansmith
has"
Meaning Ladysmith?"
'Yes, II you prefer, but the word
lady has become so horribly vulgar.
lied. indianapolis Journal.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05
PLANNING a Ten Strike.

Eyes. he's an architect"
HAS he made any plans?'
''Not yet but 7 thiuk he's making
plans row 20 marry the rich widow
COZ. nc. &C levcisrd Plain Dealer.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05

Mrs. Vavasour de Paynk-Captain
Ridley l didn'a expect to see you
here. l thought you we're gone 10 fight
those horrid Beers.
Captain Ridley-Hawl Little pessi-
misti-Punch.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05

Visitor-"And you are the eldest?"
Daughter of the House-"No, I'm
the eldest but two"
Visitor-"Who are the other two7"
Daughter of the House-"Father and
mother'-Fun.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-02-05

Lawyer-Now Miss Katherine. you
are entitled 70 a blanket mortgage on
that property.
Miss Katherine-A blanket mort.
gagei How Interestingly BE sure TO
get a Navajo blanket.-Chieago Rec.
ord.