davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10

There Is at least one woman in Ken
wood who believes thoroughly in the
efficiency of prayer. About a year ago
her husband engaged In a business
venture that looked rather uncertain.
But his wife had strong faith that 1t
would turn out well.
go ahead, john" she said, "and let
us put our trust in the Lord. l pray
every night that we may have no rea-
son to regret the risk we are taking"
The affair seemed to turn out pretty
well right from the start. Handsome
dividends were paid all through the
summer and during the winter, and
great Joy was In the home of this man
and the sharer of his fortunes.
But there came turn about month
ago. The business ceased to pay, and
since then the losses have been increas-
ing every day. Nothing was said about
ii at the fireside around which so much
happiness had centered during the last
suggested by the worried husband that
1t would be well to cut down expenses.
Questions followed, as a matter of
course, and then it had to be confessed
that the business was not going well.
Dear mep' exclaimed the distressed
woman when all the truth had been re-
vealed to her. 81 must begin praying
Rgain tonightT = Chicago Times-Her-
aid
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10

Gould 1 have few minutes private
conversation with your" he asked as
he stood at the open door of lawyers
office in the Loan and Trust building
the other afternoon.
Cant you speak right out from
where you are?" asked the lawyer in
reply after looking the man over.
I'D rather make a private matter
of it"
"What is the nature of your busi-
ness?
Confidential strictly private and
confidential, sir"
'WeIl, have no time to grant you a
private interview. If you have any
thing to say, you can let her go right
here. Now, what is it?'
I'll wanted the loan Of a quarter,
SIR" stammered the man.
"Oh, you did! And you wanted a
private interview to ask me that?"
eyes, sir. j knew that it would hurt
both our feelings if 1 were refused in
public-yours because you couldn't af-
ford to loan me the money and mine
because couldn't get 1t. Can you
grant my request, sir2"
mo, SIR"
"And does it hurt your feelings"
mot bit. You are mistaken on that
point"
"And my feelings are the only ones
hurtT
"Yours alone"
"Just So" said the man as he bowed
and backed out. 81 beg your pardon.
was mistaken. You have the money
and no feelings, and 1 have the feelings
and no money. Impossible chasm; no
use in trying to bridge. Good dayv'-
Washington Post.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
A Dinner of Mule and Axle Grease

Dinner of Mule and Axle Grease.
The following is an incident of the
siege of Ladysmith narrated by Sir
William MacCOrmac: can officer re-
lated an incident which will serve to
illustrate the lengths to which things
had gone as regards food. A she'll fell
into the mule lines one afternoon, kill
ing one mule. In spite of other shells
following the first one in rapid success
sion, SO as to make occupation of the
spot very dangerous, the men in the
vicinity made rush at the mule like
so many ravenous creatures, cutting off
the flesh with their clasp knives in
great chunks. They then in safer quar-
tiers built fires, toasted the meat and
swallowed it at once. To make them
more palatable the men fried their bis
cults in the axle grease provided for
the carts. The want of fatty foods
and vegetables was greatly felt. In
spite of all their hardships nobody ever
thought of giving in. The general in
quired as to how many horses in the
camp could carry their riders six miles,
in view Of sortie being made, and the
answer came back that only II horses
in the whole camp could do it."-Lon-
don Lancet.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10

"There's good deal of human nature
in turkey" said a farmer. 'The 9TH
er day while l was settin in the barn
door one of my turkeys come yerkin
along and peekin right and left and
finally spied rag on the ground that
every turkey had been travelin over for
a week. Turkey picked 1t up and Slated
It out That minute every turkey in
the yard started for him. He run. 1t
evidently struck him all of q sudden
that he had got hold of suthin that was
mighty valuable. He run, and he
lodged, and he ducked, and he run
some more Every few minutes some
one of them turkeys would get him by
the wattles or else by the rag, and
there would be a tug of war. And at
last another turkey got the rag away,
and then there was another chase.
Guess them darn fool turkeys would
have been runnin the fat off them
selves the next day if hadn't set the
dog on 'em.
"That's just the way with turkey.
Let any other one in the flock get hold
of suthin, and every one of the blamed
fools will start for him or her and run
till they fairly drop.
''And, as 1 have said, there is a good
deal of human nature right there
Lewiston Journal.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
Kate Masterson,s First Poem.

mare MHSNeFBOmfS FIRST Poem
/ Kate Masterson, the poet and humor-
list, thus describes the beginning of her
literary career:
81 was at school in Brooklyn when
first sent a poem to Judge, signing
1t Kittie K. 1t was accepted and pub
lished with an illustration, and my cup
of joy was Drumming. When l got
check for 50, L effervesced. then sent
some verses to Puck. which was then
edited by FL. G. Bunner. They were
also signed Kittie X, but were writ
ten from a masculine point of view,
and, as wrote a very gentlemanly
hand, Bunner evidently came to the
conclusion that was boy. He sent
me some very funny letters, and re-
piled, keeping up the idea that / was
very fresh, slangy boy. He accept
ed the verses, She Stood on the
STAIR and they were published In a
Christmas number with picture. AS
this was only the second poem 1 had
sold in my life, you can imagine how
wildly anxious l was to have 1t ap-
pear. l bothered Bunner with in
quiries, for of course that was the
only poem on earth to me just then.
l recollect finally writing him, DO you
think my poem will be published dur
Ing my lifetimeY
HE wrote me, My dear boy, can
not say If your poem will be published
during your lifetime, as l do not know
when you are going to de- "-Satur-
day Evening Post.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
Adjourned by reporters.

well, that bumps mer said the colo
mel. 81 know that the cheek of those
newspaper reporters is always in full
flower, but 1 didn't know that they as
sumed to legislate for the state"
"All know is" asserted the judge
again, that two newspaper reporters
once adjourned session of the Illinois
senate"
How'd they do it-choke the speak
er with copy paper?
''No; they were very civilized about
it. 1t was one day when everybody ex-
pected dull session, and only two of
us senators put in an appearance,
counting Dave LittIer, who was in the
chair
"T want to get an interview with
Littler when this things over said one
newspaper man.
so do L. said the other T move
that we adjourn! he shouted at Littler
I second the notion said the first
reporter.
"'It is moved and seconded that we
now adjourn said Littler solemnly
Those in favor will signify it in the
usual manner
layer shouted both of the report
ers.
"'Carriedr said Littler."- Chicago In
ter Ocean.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
NOT REVERSIBLE.
One Dectsion That the Supreme
Court Couldn't Alter.

One Decision That the Supreme
Court Couldn't Alter.
In the good old days when Judge
Gaslin sat upon the bench in a district
that comprised the western half OF
Nebraska, the rustler, the horse thief
and the killer abounded. Judge Gaslin
was aware that there was but one way
to rid the country of these pests, and
that way was to make it too hot for
them. Accordingly Judge Gaslin, when
one of them was put on trial, admitted
evidence that was sometimes "incom-
petent, irrelevant and immaterial," but
as 1t was generally true that If the
prisoner was not guilty he had been
guilty of something equally bad Judge
Gaslin let it go at that and clinched
the prisoner on general principles. The
result was that the supreme court re-
versed a good many of the judges
cases.
During these perilous times an afro
cious murder was committed In Adams
county and the perpetrators were soon
captured. The evidences of guilt were
plain, and the two prisoners were soon
pronounced guilty and sentenced to be
hanged. But as several notorious char
acters had recently been allowed to es-
cape by the supreme court, the people
of Adams determined to forestall any
thing Of that kind by quietly lynching
the prisoners. The two men were tax
en- from the iail and hanged to a rail
road bridge east Of town.
The bodies were left hanging to the
bridge, and next morning Judge Gas
lin sauntered out that way to take
look. He gazed on the swaying bodies
for a few moments without saying
word. Then he turned to friend and
remarked:
Il sentenced those two fellows to be
hanged. That's one decision that in
fernal supreme court won't reverse
Omaha World-Herald.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
An American Dinner Party.

Here is element SCOTS picture Of an
American dinner party: You are no
sooner ushered into the reception room
than you feel at home in half a second.
Conversation is general and animated.
Your hostess is genial, gracious and an
artist in the difficult ceremony of in
production. The room and the atmos-
phere beam with friendliness. Intro
duced to your dinner companion, she is
determined that you and your partner
shall be friends at once. You have not
to make conversation. She makes it
for you. If you know anything, she
will drag it out of you in double quick
time, and you have some difficulty in
holding your own against her readi-
ness, wit and sly cynicism. She can
discuss everything and knows some
thing about all she discusses, but with
out pedantry or affectation. She has
the art of appearing to like you and be
interested in you whether she is or not.
This may be humbug, but it is delight
full humbug all the same.
1.-THE elements of Irritation are never
to be despised by man or woman of
any age. This social art is generally
ignored in England, and that is why
American women are SO supremely
popular. And what is the consequence?
You go home from dinner party in
England tired and bored to death or
wander off to your club to try to for
get it all. You go home from an Amer
lean dinner party exhilarated, a little
proud of yourself and saying sincerely,
1t has been jolly and delightful even
ing At least that is what have felt
whenever have been honored with an
invitation in New York. San Francis
co Argonaut.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
The Poodle and the Lions.

"T notice that Automobile Mont
gomery says that horses often make a
dive for the corn he paints" remarked
one art league student to another.
"Well, there might be some truth In
It." said the second. II saw little In
cident at the art institute the other day
that made me think of Mr.. Montgom-
ery's proud boast. You know those big
lions on the sides of the steps, the
work of Kemeys, are pretty lifelike'
was standing looking at them when a
little white poodle came down the steps
In the wake of a woman with stylish
clothes on. The poodle had gold col
lar around his neck and was alto
gether one of the tiniest, dandified
specimens of a dog that you could find.
He walked up to one of the lions, set
tied back on his hind legs, and looked
at the big stone beast. Then he snifred
and glanced around inquiringly. All
at once he made up his mind. he
made fierce rush for the lion, barking
as viciously and as loud as a dog six
inches long could bark. He positively
swelled up and appeared about to ex
plode with wrath.
'"There you are. If Kenneys' lions SO
excited a poodle dog, it may be that
horses will eat Montgomery corn pic
lures" Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
The Poisonous Pineapple.

at is a notorious fact" says The Ma
tional Druggist, shat the pineapple is
considered the least healthy of all the
edible fruits of the tropics by those
who know anything of the matter. The
Juice of the green and growing plant
is credited in Java, the Philippines and
throughout the far east generally with
being blood poison of most deadly
nature. 1t is said to be the substance
with which the Malays poison their
krishes and daggers and is also credit
ed with being the finger nail poison
formerly in use among aboriginal Jaw
anese women almost universally.
These women formerly Tor some thir-
ty odd years ago., and possibly do yet,
cultivated a nail, sometimes more, on
each hand, to a long, sharp point, and
the least scratch from one OF these
was certain DEATH
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10

The crying demand of the times is a
dish that will not fall out Of a girls
hands and break. Women who keep
help in their kitchens do not make the
complaint of broken dishes more often
than the woman whose daughters do
the Dishes" AS soon as a man gets a
half dollar saved it has to go for a
meat platter or a pitcher which his
daughter dropped, and there probably
isn't family engaged in housekeeping
that doesn't have to make weekly visits
to a queensware store. In some homes
the daughters are fined for every plate
they break, but the father has to give
them the money to pay back to him in
fines, so that he Is always the loser. II
a man is put in good humor by his din
ner, the crash Of china heard from the
kitchen ten minutes later drives bis
good nature away.-Atchison Globe.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10

Say, Thompson, did you ever notice
that | was brutally Indifferent to my
chiIdren?"
Certainly not. You're quite the con-
trary, Holiness"
swell, do look like a miscreant who
would be only too glad to abandon
them to the mercy of strangersT
''Of course not. Whatever put such
an idea into your head"
"Or have the reputation of being
so selfish that l would not disturb OF
exert myself in the slightest to secure
their safety from the most desperate
dangerT
mo, indeed. Who's been accusing
you of such things2"
my wife"
''Your wife? WhyY'
"Why, little Johnny got himself lost
for couple of hours the other day,
and ALL did was to notify the police.
hire every private detective In town
and rouse all the neighbors to help
hunt for him."
Wasn't that enough?
mo. She insists that am a brutal,
selfish miscreant and several other
things because I refused to do all she
wanted me to-
''Why, what more was possibleT'
make the governor order out the
militia to help hunt. "-Harper's Bazaar.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
rraenaships1 Trials.

~Am / going to the wedding7 Ger.
tainly not" snapped the pretty girl in
blue. I'D Ike to see myself therel
You thought we were friends? Oh,
yes, we're friends. I'd like to scratch
her eyes out, the deceitful thingl How
did it start? How did what Htart
If her young man wished to call on
me, there was no law against it, was
there? If he got in the habit Of call
ing here every day In the week and
twice on Sundays, it wasn't my bust
ness to turn him over to the police,
was it? / wish / had, though, as he
was an awful bore and so persistent
that l never got chance to go any
where or see any one.
"And all the while that deceitful
thing pretended to be crying her eyes
out at the desertion of her young man
into my camp. If I had not thought
that that young mans presence here
was making her awfully mad, he
would have got his walking papers
long ago. But l endured him because
l thought that she cared everything
for him and could not live without
him.
"And to think that she simply turned
him over to me to get rid Of him as
well as me while she landed the eligi-
BILE young man with the bank account
who recently arrived in the city! And
/ never knew that he was here until it
was too late! And we were such dear
friends toop'-Detroit Free Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
rhe Truthfu1 hammer.

Business manager Of great London
newspaper to clerk:
George, take down an advertisement
as l dictate it, and then send 1t up.
Ready? All Wanted, man for
a pleasant indoor position. Short
hours, light work, no experience neces-
sary, place permanent; salary, f1,OOO a
year. Answer in own handwriting.
millionaire, Great Daily Office
Clerk have it down, sir, and Will
send 1t to the printers at once.
Business Manager "a week later)--
George, how many answers were re-
ceived in reply to that advertisements
Clerk-Eighteen thousand,
Business Manager ian hour later)-
Good morning, sir. What can we do
for you. sir?
Seedy Individual = What do you
charge for an advertisement for situa-
ton wanted?
Business Manager-Our charges are
high, shillings line, but you must
remember the vast number of people
we reach. Why, sir, In reply to one
single advertisement inserted last week
there were received $4,000 answers
London Tit-Bits.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10

It is well known that Joseph MediIl
of the Chicago Tribune was somewhat
deaf, although his ability at times to
hear what was said in an ordinary tone
of voice was frequently remarked.
1t is related of him that he dropped
into the business department of the Of
fee one day to make an inquiry about
something that had occurred to him,
and a young man who had been in his
employ only few months undertook
In loud tone of voice to enlighten him.
''What did you say?" asked Mr.. Me-
dill, putting his hand to his ear.
The young man repeated the question
in a still louder voice.
81 can't hear you" said the editor.
''Oh, chase yourself around the block,
you old granny" murtere5 the impa-
tient employee just above his breath.
81 am not an old granny" said Mr..
Medill, turning away, sand 1 shall not
chase myself around the block"
The fresh young man made imme-
date arrangements to say goodby to
his job, but the great editor probably
thought that the lesson he had received
was sufficient and did not disturb him.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10

The Mermaid was the name of ia
nous London tavern frequented by
noted literary men and actors during
the reign of Queen Elizabeth. All the
wit and talent of the time assembled
there for conyiyial enjoyment. Au-
thors have made it the scene of great
mind combats between such men as
Shakespeare, Ben Jonson, Beaumont,
Fletcher Selden, Carew, Dome and
others of reverential memory. 1t was
the gathering place of the celebrated
Mermaid club, the origin of which is
ascribed to Sir Walter Raleigh. The
Mermaid tavern was located in Bread
street and was handily reached from
three thoroughfares, so that it has been
often referred to in various ways. The
Mermaid in Bread street, the Mermaid
In Friday street and the Mermaid in
Cheap street were, however, all one
and the same. 1t was the nearest to
Bread street. The Mermaid was de-
stroyed in the great London fire. There
were other Mermaid taverns, one in
Cheapside and another In Cornhill but
they had no such associations as chung
to that of Bread street.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
yhe Highest Court.

mo" said the judge firmly, 81 will
not consent to your marriage with my
daughter"
"Sir," returned the young lawyer
haughtily, 81 shall not take this de-
cision as final"
"You won't?''
mo, sir, will not. shall appeal
to the court of last resort"
"Oh, very well" replied the judge.
Submit your case to her mother If
you want to."-Chicago Post.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
would Draw a Crowd.

A singer named Gordon once COM
planned to Handel of the style of his
Accomplishments, which attracted the
attention from the singer, saying that
If he did not accompany him better he
would jump upon the harpsichord and
destroy 1t.
Every WE'LL" said Handel. Tell me
ven you will do dat, and will advertise
1t. More people will come to see you
lump dan to hear you sing"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
why the judge Paid the BIZ.

For this story of the relation of poll
ties and medicine the Philadelphia
Medical Journal vouches: A physician
was summoned in haste to attend the
child of family that lived in two
rooms in the heart of a large Ameri-
can city-not New York. The child had
been seized suddenly and seriously
and just at election time. The mother
was in despair, and when the doubtful
prognosis was given she broke into
wailing and violent self condemnation
for some horrible sin Of the family to
which she said the child's illness was
due-a direct punishment for their
crime She would go and curse the mag
istrate for it all, her husband should
resign from ''the force" and such evil
ways should be renowned forever.
Curious to know how the magistrate
could be held responsible for the child S
Illness, the doctor finally secured the
confession that the crime of the poor,
conscience stricken woman consisted
in allowing the names of many fraudu-
lent voters to be registered as residing
in her house, in swearing to the lie,
etc. The magistrate also had demand
ed this of all the neighbors in return
for indescribable political favors.
The child recovered, and the magis-
trate paid the physicians bill.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
A Frank Confession.

An old Ulster woman who had made
money by selling whisky in a village
on fair and market days was visited
when she lay dying by a minister, to
whom she spoke about her temporal as
well as her spiritual affairs
"And so, Molly" said the minister
''you tell me you are worth all that
money!
Indeed, minister, am" replied Mol
ly.
"And you tell me-" continued the
minister seriously, that you made II
by filling the noggln?'
INA, ma minister" exclaimed the dy-
ing woman; 81 made maist of it by not
film the noggin!"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1900-07-10
Pennsylvania RAILROAD
Tie Standard Railroad Of Ameyica. Pro-
tected Myoughont by Block Signals
and Iuteylocking SzOitcfes.
IN EFFECT JUNE 80. 1900

Trains leaue Mount Holly:
FOR Philadelphia, $50. 500, 653 ZIG, ~. 7-5l,
s.34, $50. 9l6 liz A. M, 1892, Lio' zoo 4-oo'
n 70; s SiS avs 9Ss Iao5 els, z84 $50
For Pemberton, 7.04 9.26, 1853 A. M, l.41. z.us'
AIS, 5.43, 6l5. 7.29. Pm
FOR Borden town. Trenton and New York, SIS,
740, 9l9, 1000 llO5 A. M, 1890, 800, 400, 445.
On On Sundays ai1S s25 A. M, 2.O5. 62or.M
For East Burlington, 6.2s, I25 74o. %. o;os,
sl9, 1900 llo5 A. NJ l2so iS sat ~ ~ N op'y3
sl5 s s4 aio, 800 5s5 $40, 7o0 7s5. $50, $40
For Iewistown, Columbus. Kinkora. etc..
7O4A NJ, LAT, Alb p. NJ.
on Sundays, ZOO P. NJ. uao
For LumDertOn, MeQfOrO, maritoH aiio ho>&-
donfield. 9.35 A. N.
For Vincentown, 1926, 6 06 P. M.
For Toms River. Island Heights ana Sea oiue
Park, g. 26, ISL A NJ, 200, Az Pm
For Toms River, Sea Side PARK anu roih1
Pleasant, 5.4S P. M. 49,,
For Asbury PARK and Long Branch, $751; A. NJ.
200, 4.27P M.
1rains seave for Mount Holly as JoItos0s:
From Philadelphia, 500 6S5, $50, si0, l9.0 oO
Il2OA M, 1910, 30, $40, 800, 4lO, 4.5V, o-oo'
800 10. 6. 80, 500, 1880. II 40 P. M.
ON Sundays, 730, 9.20A. M, LOO 6oO, ioSo !; m.
500. $50 A, M 100. $50. 100, 800, 500. P. M
On Sundays, 1000 A: M, 1.oO P; M ok
From Trenton, 6.45 LAO. $3.50, ll.2o A. M z'oo'
On SUNDAYS. 20. Ii 80, A. NJ. 405s9.0s, P. M.
From East burlington, TOO lbs, Sz6, S4o, " 70,
1872 ~ lS4S u.s. so ia 9So 49, 49, ssS
on Sundays, 7.55, 900, 1880. A. M, l2.SO, S.so'
sos, s15, 40, lS5 $40. $40, 100, $780, $780, $780,
From Toms River; 6.5s, sos A. M, 1925. 3.ts, 6.A
On sundays. 6.2s P. NJ. 90. x,s
From AsDury Park. e.52. lib A. M. 2SS' OLD
p. M.