Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-04-07
Mr.. JOBSOhgAT THE RACES

Traces begin today, eh?' said Mr.. Job
son, as he glanced ever the morning paper
al the breakfast table on Monday morning
| last. Dye know" he went on. RETROSPECT
lively. that it's been about fifteen years
since saw horse race? Used to be crazy
about EN- too. Great sport, ut that. I've
jolly good mindtS go out to Benning to-
day to see the raSing. Want to go::'
Mrs. Jobson hesjtated with her finger on
| her lips. # %
i've got 50 much to do today she re-
piled, "and really, am not interested in
horse racing. And then, If you go. you're
bound to bet, and you'll lose your money,
and :"
Great sport you are, aren't your" said
Mr.. Jobson, mockingly. Regular out-and-
out dead game, as they say, I'd call you.
Like to fall in with your husbands little
plans and enjoy things with him, don't you?
Appreciate the compliment 1 pay you when
l ask you to go along with me every
where, don't you? YOU
But I've always heard horse racing is
such an expensive amusement, and that
there's no fun unless You bet, and
BET? Course I'll bet said Mr.. Jobson.
But don't you let the idea seize you and
take complete possession of you that III
lose. There are two sides to this betting
business. you know: One is. you win; the
you've got no chance to win. How dye
know but what I'll VIM"
But you're so unucky, and
That's r1Sht-go ahead and call me
Jonah and hoodoo and all the rest OF the
hard-luck names you can think of-don't
mind me- I'll go to the races alone, Mrs.
Jcbson, and if don't come back here about
O'Clock and dump about 900 winnings
in your lap, you can MAKE all the faces
you want at me, that's all. I'll just bet
and win now for no ether purpose than to
show you I'm not such a dead-and gone,
shelved proposition rs you think l am, and
if"
"oh. I'll co. said Mrs. .Jobson. But I'd
hate to have you lose and thea feel blue
over it, and"
Mrs. Jobson,' said Mr. Jobson. severely,
be good enough to apply any all of the
phrases IN your large vocabulary of Vitu-
peratlon and scorn to me except that of
hard loser. Hard loser l am not. If win
l won't turn any handsprings in the grand
stand and erince such gibbering JOY that
l IL be poked out of the grounds; and il |
lose, all right. tn be my lose, and all the
complaints you'll lear out % rue wouldn't
make an etch on the registering cylinder of
monograph. Just you meet at
o'clock, and we'll go out 10 the track. and
Eli show you how a man of cool temporal
ment can accept victory or defeat with
equal grace and equanimty.'
SO, at 40, Mr.. Jobson had installed Mrs.
Jobson IN front seat in the grandstand,
and he Joined the throng Of real things who
We're vending their way to the paddock to
look the racers over. Mr.. Jobson looked
real perky and wise as he stood III the pad
uock, chewing a straw and sizing up the
tboroughbreds that We're being walked
around.
"Bo,' said voice right in his ear you
neednt go no further if you're nuntfn f'r
cooked to a turn
That 500" said, Mr.. Jobson his face
lighting up when he turned and saw a
siabeman with a crafty countenance at
Then they fell to ,buzzing over in a cor
her or the paddock, and when Mr. .Iobson
rushed through the gate into the betting
ring ne mad a 1ook of profound secrecy on
MS lace. He swung around the ring get
tlhs MS toes trampedt on a good deal and
hnally put down $50 Jon a horse that was
chalked up on the states at 40 10 l. IT was
the horse that the crafty looking staIlcman
had told him about Then Mr.. ,Jobson
walked up to where his wife sat in the
stand wearing a superior mysterious
Did you bet?" asked Mrs. Jobson
'1ep-and wun.' replied Mr. Johson an
pearing to be just bursting with the JOY of
Won" said Mrs. Jobson. But the
horses haven't raced yet"
ihats all right said Mr.. Jobson; i've
Won My horse can't lose, even if he falls
Gown you mark my words and 1 didn't
get thing but 40 to 1 for my $40 Inst
you wait till the race is over. that,s ali
Mrs Jobson. and you won't still be of he
opinion that your husband is such a naueht
with me rim torn off, BY the way, you can
just drop by the jewelers. and get that
sapphire and diamond ring you've been
hankering for so long-get 1t in the morn
ing There's no way in life that 1 can be
S SoRe from ON winning couple Of thousand
nat an awful nice-lookng horse
ism 1t?' said Mrs. Jobson, as the horses
We're brought out to the track for their
warming-up gallops, pointing to a nervous
looking, long striding Thoroughbred
Mr. Jobson smiled at her ndulgently
Looks don't win horse races Mrs Job
son, said he. sagely. That animal won't
be one. two, three. It's a case of nv horse
hrst and the rest nowhere"
Ten minutes later the horses were off.
MI Jobson's sure thing trailed all the way
In the rear of the bunch and finished fifteen
lengths behind the field. The nag that Mrs
Jobson liked the looks of and marked on
her program as the one that she'd have
bet on If she was horrld betting woman,
won all the way, easily, without an effort
Huh! said Mr.. Jobson, with a crest
fallen look, ANY baby in arms could see
that that horse was pulled by the jockey,
and I've a great mind to go right I'm into
the judges stand and tell 'em so. and have
life" 1oA
Then Mr.. Jobson went out into the pad
dock again. The stableman who had put
him onto the good thing" told Mr. Jobson
that the brute had suddenly gone lame
which accounted for his bad showing. and
whispered HOdTSely IN Mf. JObSOn'S ear the
name of the two-year-od that was going to
win the next race in a walk. 1t was a field
of maiden two-year-olds that had never
gone to the post before, the stableman said,
and this particular one couldn't lose: had
worked a quarter in % seconds, with 40
pounds up. and would win buck Jumping
Mr.. Jobson placed $40 on that baby two
year-old at odds of Is to 1, and went into
the grand stand and regarded Mrs Jobson
from a great height again.
"Oh, look at that pretty horse!" Mrs
Jobson said. pointing out young thor
oughbred that was prancing around in
front Of the judges stand. II do believe
that one will win, don't your
Yes. when there's tunnel clear through
to China" said Mr.. Jobson, amiably The
horse that I selected in the last race. Mrs.
Jobson. only lost through an accident but
I'll buy you the incest taHor-made gown
that can be built for money if the one I've
picked this time does not win 5000 for me
I've played $40 on him at Is to l. and the
moneys already in my clothing"
Mr.. Jobson's 15-to-1 shot was turned the
wrong way Of the course when the flag
fell. and when he at length got under way
he ran like a draught horse out to grass in
a vacant lot. The baby two-year-old that
had caught Mrs. Jobson's eye made the rest