The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-07-06
SOME CHINESE ANECDOTES.
stories Illustrating and Explaining
Chinese Character and Habits,
From The London Globe.


The average Briton can n=ver under
stand why the Col n al and American fear
tie Chinese. Yet it is intslligibe enougn
even at this distance from the Pacific
The Jew is not exactly popular on the
continent, neither is the Aberdonian any
where. Chinese as a trader is a Jew
Plus an Armenian plus a Greek plus a
Down-East Yankee" or 10 put it short
~. he mas the commercial instinct more
hIghly developed than any other race
Inc main cause of the dislike with which
ne is regarded is therefore patent. His
shieNdness is as remarkable as his row
ers OF observation. \ good story in this
connection is told by Dr. Morrison. the
FeNln correspondent Of the Times. whose
telesfams on The Chinese crisis a wear
or Two aSo used to send cold shivers
down the backs of her majestv's minis
ters, because they were always at least
day abs ad of onlc al communications
lie was traVe ing as a Chinese uo the
fanStse on river beat. The smart ch eff
otlcer came for my fare, and as thought.
charged me too little. l expressed my
SUR rise, and said hat I beliav=d The
rare was 81. SO ii is he replied, but we
only charge missionaries S. and knew
you were missionary even before you
told me-. This was British acutone=s A
little while before DR. Morrison. who is
as little like missionary as may be, ira
Neled from Shanghai to Tien Tsin. also
In Chinese dress. THE conversation was
snort, sharp, and emphatic. The Chine e
compradore on the boat looked at ne
ssarchinsly. What pidgin belong you?' he
asked. meaning. What is your business
hun. HI
long Jesus Chrisl pidgin'-th is L am
a missionary to which he instantly and
with some scorn replied No dam fearr -
This was Chinese acuteness. So consc Gus
Is the Celestial of his own commercial
alb lity that thirty years ago a Pekin Of
fetal said to an American traVe,er: Eng
Lshman and Mclean man come here
makee big pidgin, bimeby long come Ger
man man; some time YOU makee sse Chi
nese eatee everything up'-a prediction
which is being fulfilled everywhere in the
Far East and the Archipelago.
The Chinese are not so much law-abid-
ing as law-evading. They never know
anything they do not wish to know, and
none can be denser than they when they
choose. Not so long ago a Chinese was
summoned 20 a Melbourne Police Court for
being in possession of tenement unfit
clearly proved, and he was fined H. But
in no way could he be made to under
stand that a fine had been inflicted. He
sat in his place as imperturbable and eX-
pressionless as only the almond-eyed can
sit, and all that the court could get out
of him was, My no savvy, no savVy. "
After saying this in a tone of hopeless
resignation, he relapsed into stolidity.
Hereupon rose a well known lawyer.
with your worshp's permission" he
said, II think ] can make the Chinaman
understand" He was permitted to uy.
Stridiug up to the poor Celestial he
shouted 90 him. John, you are fined two
pounds" mo dam fear" cried the Asian
mystery with an INDISPENSABLE expression.
only onen The word dam" so fire.
euently used by the Chinese is a legacy
of the days when hard swearing was a
more fashionable Western accomplishment
than it is now. They use i, without the
slightest idea what it means. For in
stances, a Chinese cook in Sydney, when
applying for a situation, concluded long
list of qualifications by the startling an
Eouncement: My Clistan man, mum
my eat beef; my say goddam." DR.. Nor
rison says his "Laoban could say in Eng
fish, or p!dgin. chow, sit down, all right,
one piece, and goddam.' This last exotic
ne mao Deen leo 20 CONSIDER as SYnOnN-
nous with very good "
The passive resistance of the Chinese is
a remarkable in the government as in
the Individual During the reign of one
of the greatest of their rulers, who died
in 1923. the patriotic pirate Koxinga raw
aged the coasts of Kwang-tung and Flu
kien, and proved so strong that the i'm
perial junks were unable to cope with
him. In these circumstances the Emperor
hit upon the happy eXpedient of ordering
all the people nhabiting the southern sea-
board to retire inland nine miles. This
extraordinary command was not only
obeyed, but it answered it's purpose.
Koxinsa. baffied in his plans, contented
himself with driving the Dutch OUT of
Formosa. and was eventually ennobled
under the title of the ''Seaquelling Duke, -
by which means he was transformed in
to peaceable and law-abiding subject.
The author of the middle Kingdom, -"
commenting on this incident, says that
a power strong enough to compel an
enormous population to leave their vii
lagos and towns ought TO have been
strong enough to equip a fleet and
crush the pirates. Only that the results
of just such topsy-turvy methods of gov
eminent are the latest news from the
East, the whole story might be regarded
as a myth.
Most of the policemen In Australia are
Irishmen whose genius for humorous
blundering loses nothing Of its quality un-
der the Southern Cross. Here is an in
stance. Many Chinese names are remin-
iscent of a burlesqu and are, probably,
merely barbarian caricatures of the oriSi-
mails. OF these Foug Fat All Su, and Al
Foo are the most common. A nowly-ap-
pointed crier in a county court was or