The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-12-19


view of Reviews this morning.
-:o:-
"Boss," said an old negro. looking in
through the postoffice stamp window yes
terday, 'how much does hit tex ter SEN
fo' letters?'
Eight CENTS" said the man within
Hush
"Factr'
The old man studied awhile got out his
ried eight cOpperS OUT of the lining Lay,
ing these on the counter he drew long
breath and said:
''Well, you en- let 'em go long,
"But where are the letters?'
"Whar is day? Why, 1 done drapt
'em in de hole 'roun' younder!'
The letters were fshed out. stamped
and allowed to 'go long"'-Macon Tele-
graph.
The Ladder of Preferment.-FirstL Law
yer-''Young Blackstone has political as
pirations, hasn't hep Second Lawyer
''Why do you think sop First LAWYER
II notice he calls all the barkeepers by
their first names. New York Weekly.
The Manly Thing.-Eleanor-'N
can't bear college theatricals I don't
like to see man take a woman's part
Rosalie-"My goodness! l think it would
be cowardly of him if he didn't. ''-Phila-
delphia Evening Bulletin.
In a Mississippi town where Charles
=. Hartford was playing he was intro
duced to one of the prominent local poll
tlcians, candidate for Congress at this
time, says the New York Telegram.
so you are Private John Allen
he said. genially.
Mr.. Allen owned to the soft impeach-
ment.
well, have something to drink"
Il thank YOU" was the answer. '.Rut
| never drink anything stronger than COT
fee"
Then take a cigar"
Il am sorry, but 1 don't use tobacco"
Don't drink and don't use tobacco.
Well, sir, it's no wonder you remained
a private. You'd never do for a colonel
or major in this part of the country"
She (coldly)-"Our engagement, sir is
at an end. | shall return everything you
have ever given me-
He, Observation-Disclosures, dear, you
may begin at once with the ses.'-Col-
lier's Weekly.
An Eye for the Present.-Miss
Smoothe-"No, [ cannot give you my an
swer until the first of next year" Mr.
Softeigh-"But, why? You say you love
me, and" Miss Smoothe-"Why,y you
silly thing! If our engagement were an
nounced now, none of the other men
would send me single Christmas gift"
Baltimore American.
Harriet. that pesky dog of yours has
given me feaS"
Dear me, Harry, how you do grum-
BILE! You ought to be glad they are on
YOU instead Of on poor little Binkie.''-
Life.
British Museum Newton, the archaeo-
logist, was capital story-teller. and j.
Y. Hare has preserved two or three Of
his tales in his book. STORY of MY Life
One is c spiritualistic seance, where an
old cockney was informed that the spir-
it manifested was his deceased wife,
whereupon the following dialogue took
place:
rs that you, 'Arriet?''
Yes, it is me-"
Are you 'appy, 'Arriet?'
Yes, very 'appy."
riet?''
Yes, much 'appier.''
Where are you, Arriet?"
"In 'ell."
Pirate Captain-"By the beard Of Capt
Kidd, this will be a hot fight!' Cab
in-boy-"' Particularly, sir, if we put a
stove in the side of that essel."-Har-
ward Lampoon.
Tess-"May Winsum is quite i'll, / be-
lieye
Jess-"Yes, she's developing chronic
hysteria."
Tess-"What's the cause of it; do you
know?"
Jess" Somebody foolishly told her that
she looked beautiful when she laughed"
Philadelphia Press.
Caller-"I should like to see your
mother, if she isn't engaged
Flossie (aged 5)-"Engaged! Why
mamma has been married ever since I
knew illustrated Bits.
The name of Billy Bowlegs survives
among the Florida Seminoles. The pres