The Saint Paul globe., 1900-04-22

doin,' he says, is calc'lated FIR to dis
throy tn morality an debase tn home
life iv Topeka, not to mintien tn sur
roundin' methrolopuses iv Valencia,
Wanamaker, Sugar Works, Paxico an
Snokomo, he says.
The newspaper, instead iv bein' a
pow rful agent FIR tn salvation iV man
kind. has become something that they
want to r-read,' he says. 'Ye can all go
nome he says; III stay here an write
IN paper mesilf he says, I'm tn best
writer ar-round here, anyhow, an I'll
give thin something thatll prepare thin
fr DEATH he says
An he did. Hinnissy, he did Twas a
gran paper They was an article on
sewerage an wan on prayin FIR rain. an
another on municipal ownership iv gas
tanks, an wan to show that they rfver
was good mixer owned by a pro-fane
man. Ihey was PONIES, too, NANNY iV
thin. an fine vans; TIL Man With tn
Shovel Th Man With tn Cash Regis
ter The Man With tn Snow Plow,' 'Th'
Man With tn Bell Punch tn Man With
tn Skate, 'Th' Man With No Kick Com
in. Fine poethry, tn editor askin who
pushed this here mans forehead back an
planed down his chin, who made him wear
clothes that didn't fit him and got him
JOB ralsin' egg plant fr tn monno-polists
in Topeka at a dollar a day A man in
tn editors position ought to know, but
he didn't, so he asst IN tn PONIES An tn
advertiser, Hinnissy! I'd be scandalized
f'r to go back reading tn common adver-
tisin' in tn vile daily press about mems
paintings, an Observation-Disclosures
getabiscuit, an in tn spring a young
mans fancy lightly turns to Pocahontas
plug, not made be tn thrusts. TIL ed
itor left thin sacrilegious advertisements
f'r his venal contimp' raries. His was
piouS an nice: DO yeer smokin' in this
wurruld. TIL Christyan Unity Five-Cint
See-gar is made out iv the finest grades
iV excelsior iyer projooced in KansasI
'Nebuchednezzar grass seed, fr man an
beast! a handful iv meal in barrel an
little lie in a curse Swedenborgian
bran fried in kerosene makes tn best
breakfast dish in tn wurrud.' Twas
nice to r-read. 1t made a man feel as If
he was in church-asleep.
How did tn pa-aper sthrike tn peo-
pie? says ye. Oh, it sthruck thin good.
Says tn Topeka man skinnin' over tn
gossip about Christyan citizenship, an
tn toolchest iv pothry: Eliza, here's a
good paper, a fine wan, FIR We an tn
childher Sind Tommy down to tn corner
an get me a copy iv tn Polls Gazette
''Ye see, Hinnissy, tn editor wint to tn
wrong shop FIR what Hogan calls his in
spiration. Father Kelly was talkin' it
ONSl with 1ASs dH says lie. 4HGy ain
amy news In bein' good. Ye might write
tn doins iv all tn converts iv tn Wur-
ruld an tn back iv a postage stamp, an
have room to spare. Supposin ye took
out fv newspaper all tn murdhers, an
suicides, an divorces, an elopenfents. an
fires, an disease, an war, an famine,
he says. we wudden't have enough left
to keep a man busy r-readIn' while he
rode ar-roun' tn block on tn lightnln'
fc Gin m
sin is news, an I'm worth on'y a line be
ginnin': kelly, at tn parish-house. April
twfnty-sicond. in tn fifieth year Nv his
age an pay FIR that. while Scanlan's
bad boy is good FIR a column amy time
he gets dhrunk an thries to XIII a polls
man. religious newspaper? None iv
thin FIR me- L want to know what's go
in on among tn murdher an burglary
set. Did ye r-read it?' he says. Il did,
says 1. What a. ye think tv it?' says
he. I know says 1, why more people
don't go to church, says L.