Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-04
The REFoRMsR
How He Secured a Half a Page Fol
His Book.

H"W re secured Hair Rage HOh
His Book.
Among the passengers scattered about
the bow Of the lake steamer leaving the
dock for its regular trip to the North
ern resorts was a tall, angular person
In loose-6tting suit of crash, who
turned TO the young man standing
nearest TO him and said:
Il hope you won't mind my mention.
ing it. but you squlnt."
DO ~ responded the other passen.
ger with a leisurely sort of drawl.
Thanks"
Using the word In its colloquial and
unscienuhc sense. l don't mean that
the Axes Of your eyes are not coin
cident-"
You don't? So good Of you.o
Or that you glance at things in an
oDllque or sidelong way, but you twist
up your race and look through half
close9 eyehds. To be technically cor
rect, should say you blink"
There's nothing Ike being technical
ly correct" drawled the other "except.
perhaps, attending strictly to ones
own business"
Il used to blink like that but. but I
caught myself at it once and quit.
1here's no use in ones forming an I'M
slightly habit when"
Now, do you know it's infinitely
kind of you To-"
You don't suppose, do you, young
man, l am so thick-headed as TO fail
TO grasp the Idea that you are trying
10 be sarcasticg 1t isn't my affair, OF
course, If you deliberately choose To
make faces at things when you look
at them, but when l see a fellow-being
unconsciously making himself ridicu-
lous | never can resist the impulse
| TO-"
That's great pity"
WHAT'S a great pityw
That you can't resist the impulse.
| 1t argues, you know"
Among the sins reckoned as deadly,
Young man, ingratitude. is one of the
most conspicuous. When / saw you
standing there blinking like sore eyed
dog, assured myself that nobody was
Ia hearing distance before spoke to
you. was careful, moreover to speak
in low tone, so as not to be heard
by anybody who might be passing. If.
after having your inirmity pointed out
to you In perfectly respectful man
ner--"
Pardon me for interruptlng you, but
you look like man who could AFFORD
TO wear clothes that fit him."
"And ! don't? Well, this is n habit
that will wear itself out, and yours
won't. The longer you squint the,
worse you'll squint. IL you had taken
a little more kindly the admoniton L
gave you, my young friend, I should
not feel impelled to tell you that the
watch chain you wear deceives no one.
The department store clerk from whom
you bought 1t a year or two ago for
S4.3S assured you ii was a 'gold-hlled'
chain, and would wear for fifteen years
and look exactly like gold. Wen, IL
won't. The thin wash has worn on
the links already, and it has cheap
look about it."
Like that necktie you are wearing,
perhaps?"
'No. Hardly. This tie of mine does
not pretend to be anything but cheap
cotton affair, but it is neat and clean.
1t isn't trying to masquerade as a silk
, tie. 1t isn't washed with silk and II
wasn't bought as a silll-filled tie. Fix.
cuse me for mentioning it, but you are
blinking again."
"rn blink. or squirt, or wink, OF
/ glare, or stare or look cross-eyed, OIL
any other way l darn please You
, needn't waste any more Of your yalua'
e BILE time on me-"
"Going to keep on blinking and max
l ing faces just the same, are your
r Il viii If | want TO-"
e do it for spite now, will your
r "If I feel like il, sir"
'Well, unused the tall, angular pas
e senger, 81 don't seem to have done
q you any good, that's fact. But dom
+ allow yourself to think, young man
I've been wasting my time. ! haven'i
wasted a minute. am gathering ma
terlal for a book expect to write, en-
titled, Blamed Fools have Met anC
can use you to the extent Of MALT Z
page, at the very least"
Whereupon, with q genial smile III
turned and walked slowly 70 the sterI
Of the boat to take q last look at thu
i Masonic Temple looming up diml,
through the smoke.-Chicago Tribune