Mesa free press., 1900-02-16
SUM-
81
Wilt a@a.-SSSEa
s<afhH~-a

wanted it bad d?-Judge.
Fred-How do you like the table at
your new boarding house? Is there
anything to object to? Arthur-Pre-
cious little.-Brooklyn Life.
Tommy-Papa, what is a designing
villain? Mr.. Figg-Oh, the description
would apply to one Of these poster art
lists about as well as anything.
The Enthusiastic autiful! Exquisite!
Tier voice has matchless timbre. The
Realist-Timbre? 1t sounds to me like
whole OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Record
Henderson tells me he means to
name his new boy George" "Old or
new style?" what do you meanW
Washington orDewey ?'-Indianapoli
Journal.
He-So Miss Prettyface really mar
ried old Moneybags! Whatever induced
her to do it? She-She found out from
his doctor that he positively has incur
able heart disease.-New York World.
wake up!' shouted the mans wife,
"and stop snoring" "I'm not snoring"
he shouted. You are," she insisted. 81
hear you" "Well, don't believe all you
hear" he grunted.-Phladelphia North
American.
New Clerk notice some Of these
barrels Of apples are marked x, and
some Z. Are they different kinds?
Dealer-No; same kind, but differently
packed. Some customers want a bar
rel opened at the bottom and some at
the top.-New York Weekly.
GAS I understand it, said Cumso,
"oleomargarine is made of beef fat"
"You are undoubtedly right" replied
Cawker. II should think that the man.
ufacturers would make it of goat fat"
"WhyW Because the goat is nat.
ural butter. detroit Free Press.
you ought to be ashamed of such q
job of whitewashing!' said the irate
patron. "You ought to get into sack
cloth and ashes!' Deed, boss," was
the penitent answer, "I'd be puffickly
willin' to ef l could afford de coal to
make de ashes wild" ."-Washingt Star.
"How much better Benton dresses
nowadays than he used to-" said Daw-
kins. HE must be making money"
II think you're mistaken" said Haw-
ley. II heard. on very good authority,
that he was losing money. He proba-
bly, can't afford to dress badly."-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Three different walters at a Southern
hotel asked little prim, precise Har-
ward professor at dinner, in quick sue
cession, if he would have soup. A lit
tie annoyed, he said to the last waiter
who asked, "Is it compulsory?" "No,
sah," answered our friend and brother
mo, sab. 1 think it am mock turtle"
Progressive Age.
81 understand" said Mrs. Kostique,
"that you have been seen promenading
with my husband; is that trueY The
governess drew herself up deiantly.
'Yes. it is," she replied. "Well, Miss
Primer" the other continued. calmly,
''if you wish to remain here you'll have
to keep better company. catholic
Standard and Times.
Teacher-Johnny may stand up to re-
cite. Now, Johnny, suppose borrow
$50 from your father and agree to pay
S. week, how long will it be before
he gets his money? Johnny-Just one
week. Teacher-Oh, think again; that's
not right. Johnny-Yes, 1t is. l know
my father. He'd have you up in the
courts by that time.-New York World.
Hinson-It makes me tired to hear
the bad grammar they make use Of in
some Of the stores. For instance, one
of the shopmen at Ketchum's said that
he sold three customers this morning,
stead Of saying that he sold them
ds. Murdock-That's right. It may
,und little ungrammatical, but the
man knew what he was talking about
81 understand you are an athlete"
remarked the landlady to the new
boarder. "Yes, ma'am," proudly an
swered the n. b.; II am the champion
high jumper from Jumpersville. THAT
being the case," said the landlady, II
will have to ask you to pay your board
in advance. I've had all the expert
ence with jumpers l care for."-Chicago
News.
"Now, Norton" said one of the party
who had gone deep into the Maine
woods in search of adventure, I'VE
know you've been famous hunter,
and we want to hear about some Of the
narrow csc lpes you've had from bears,
and so on" young man." said the
old guide, with dignity, 'if there's been
any narrer escapes, the bears and other
fierce critters had 'em, not me!-Bos-
ton Christian Register.
"Who is the head Of your houseW
The benedict gave few minutes to tho
consideration of the question before an
swering. mo one," he said finally.
.'My wife and l started our married
life on perfect equality. AS you might
say. we trot in double harness and"
"WellY' "Well, l guess, perhaps, the
baby drives the am."-Chicago Even
ing Post.