The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-11-25
QUEER DREAMS or INVENTORS.
Yet the Dreamers Arc Afraid Someone VIII
Steal Their Motions.
From the Washington Post

Yet the Dreamers Arc Afraid Someone VIII
Steal Their Notions.
From he Washington Posi-.
y More extraordinary members Of society
turn UP at the Patent Once In one hour than
In all the other public buildings Of the city
In a month. They hail from all parts OF the
globe. and they are richer than the trusts.
Except In comparatively few instances. these
gifted members OF society do not loudly pro-
claim the genius that is In them. They do
not have to. II Is placarded In their whiskers.
in the horizontal creases Of their trousers,
In their ~secretivs and confidential manner.
their superb condescension. and. above all.
In their mysterious inventions The Patent
once becomes either their bosom confdant
and inspiration or their deadly enemy. 40
cording to the verdict ON their new ideas.
Although Morse himself stated that there
Il no instance on record OF a great Invention
comp!eted by one man, inc genbn,rs telu,e
and cite countless numbers, o. remarkable
cases Of rapid inventions. chiefly in the line
they utter Be their Invention a new and
useful manner Of shooting flies on, q new and
universe, and the unspsakebls glory OF =!
a mn. the g %Sn who N ID, fid Patent Ia srlse "sies sUsh tHs
as the geniuses promenade through.
Last week was a rather gala week for ths
tSoee,hsr and took the ONCE by storm. They
we're what the irrepressible clerks designate
The i,fst honey looked something like
Uncle sam. lie wore q stovepipe broad;
! briinmed hat. and a Ions; rusty. black clerical
and wore a Father Time beard and snectaclas.
tie stood ur in the ONCE Of the draushtsmen's
division, and raising his right arm. addressed
ny am imst as old as railroadins in the Tinted
States" he began and stopped for applause.
~ am lust a. Old he began once more,
and the assembled company, or rather 2 part
OF i. acting through necessity as audience.
And for every year that. in ny n. ,hers,
Say. come here" and he lowered his voice
then I will tell ye oil ] know. ] have made tho
most remarkable discovery that has ever been
made in the United States, ST.. ! have IN,
splitting. sir. and by which the anid may be
morals" whereupon he produced q large clam
like box made of rinr wood We desired draw
But, he va. nothinS to the party from Green
had perhaps been a middle-class experiment..
ing farmer. He tiptoed In very quietly and
con,ndentially took q chair by the centre
dfsk, lnN1nR ns sutl-''OWIV WIZ w
roller-coaster brim on top Of the ink bottles,
He then clasped lis hand as in meeting -.
,, r, am made IRON q. nay most ismarkable discoveries
that have ever been made In the history OF the
world" whereupon he began q iist OF them.
The first was actually a COW tail holder OF the
most phenomenal device, consisting OF a reEl-
lar derrick TO be constructed on the animals
hindGu,rters at great expense and trouble.
an, ,5s a see 1S ir9n o'' had i SSa 1P so, .om SS'' bitt aPps eHp.rf.
ence while milking resultant, from switching
tails Of III" bovine e.nns, 1s,I. r ne ha1 rb coun ns.t
discovery on the list was equally gigantic in
frame. and consisted Of sclocf alarm fashioned
mill mans. 1t consisted ~ a heavy iron weight
attached to a rone made TO fan into q tin pen
placed on a tool h.neath the clock. the whole
lH, 81 Inventions with the invarl1bie per
petual motion " the hobby, the craze. the fa.-
CITATION on, q ,bs all , inysn,GTs ii. s' Sistor 11v sna N, s Fl.
personal affairs He had bccn something Of
a. ~evplo-er in hi youth, and had crossed the
plains with the P,,hfndrr, Of the West, Ere.
mont. Then he had taken 10 inventins'
after n pastoral existence on a Wisconsin farm.
clerical ind'v,dG'l was the, ,ss next P,cS In linz
He commenced with an .Ahem: " and pro-
ceedei bv gentle degrees To unfold his plan
for the .hencfaction Of humanity. II was a
SUI am surprised. sir remarked the s.r-
tle,nan AT tho desk. that Won NJ all mon should
have invented this The minister was per-
welt saId he. arolocetically. -one very
o'ter fluids, on returning home late In the
evening. that tho kevhole Ia 7h, extremely"
we unde-stand rc-Neo'lv,- returned the
Office force. md tho gentleman retired. hlushino.
wide -h-iwIned SLOUGH hat rert s1untered IN.
! He haiIa1 from tho Woos'o- state, And apparently
was one of the gods ~ thc town hill, and nc
cus'nmcd - ra"id-Hriro. arrrmants, With
. owe b,,d 4, Ma nocke' and tho Other to hrandish,
while nj whiska-s SWEET tho deci. he demanded
the. drawing ~ m slTc' .,"N on y two
him. and he dena-'ed in 'hunderous d-cist.
Nv" ~ tho rorul'- visitors is , ministerial
ee-,lcnan With mlttrr cho-s md n black 20
and y cns' that hos -ncr hc''er days. He hes
n newer nrd wilde i~nreTiion on eHch Wait.
aud lrv,rinhl" sr-oHdS 'he 'lans on We dock.
e,onuartlv caliuc the attention ~ tho n"'ce.
md announcing rrr"o'v ard with considerable
dramn,'o ro-cc. - ni''a chi'd car wo-k IL
Tho office force. feeling ~ dnlress rcrCect-
n'iug n look for thorn tes tho cd inventor re
he rrorounces again with. vc'. mo-" hoo's
whom they fai', tc. comprehend; why, n little
One Of the most Unwilling inventions. how
ever. Is ~" now and lrrrovcd Ere es"ar"s
The inventor was n WORTHY individual who 'rod
as though the ''ocr we're rNiten errs. End rn<ad
slsririouslv on MI tho c~l'r'ts. He d"s're1 n
be assured ,ha' the PH'.,i ONioe woul' not
steal his invoniion. and whom 80 assured. ac-
crsni tho gentlemen Of heinC ltarS ih'eres
md hlnckGuards Then 10 'rHc""Aed in melt
ing tores e. rotate tho tale ~ his vow and im-
proved fire. oscaue. II was m umbrella which
one n,'s, ad'us' henen''i his chin ard around
his neck by n leather d"NlcH NOR" nNNlS''hlo
than n han- rope. Th"n. atiiring his feet IN
soft-s, lrd shoes, while tho farNas were mount
ine nrwa,d and III" sm",,," "nvclorsS Iim he
iumrs' II wa very dramatic TIE ONCE
hea med its comrrehension ~. approval foi
tho usr II the inventor in question.
One ~ tho funniest irCif""'s concerns an.
other minister. who was addicted to n ford-
nos fr whiSfnv and .v'l'ed = remarkable
and oririral ,rears 81 gratifying be inst" srr.
rentitiorslv. u was n rc'" sort ~ liniirr faSf
very now. and was actually ra'er'ed, u con.
sisted ~ making the outer covering ~ N,
flask In the 'orm Of n book marked y crnl De
cisions." The book was lnrre enough en-.
tirely 10 cover the bottle. Including The neck md
etopre~. The shell had a hole in the coveirc
beneath the bottom 81 tho fasl', 30 thnt Il could
he pushed inward and the neck would projec,
through the top.