davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1900-07-29
NOT LIKELY.

From The ST. Louis Republic
y little tale was told the Honorable DAVE
Ban during that memorable gathering OF American
patriots at Kansas City which might well b worn
repeating. II was perpetrated between drinks bv "A
brother politician. and served mainly 70 eu1pr Size
the Pike COuntyau'S crOWning glory. his unbluSh-
ms homeiineSS. Colonel Ball, most everybody
knows, is in appearance one OF the most unprr-
possessing men in Missouri In fact he Claims In
be the uSliest man in the State y few weeks bl k
he went up into Northwest Missouri to make a
speech While en- route the big picnic lsrovg
where he was billed to talk he was handed !
marked copy of The Daily HOwler-" The paper
was edited by a wild eyed Pop. who vas accused
of being in the employ of Mark Hannas Subsidized
Press Bureau. The article referred 10 was man "
denunctatOry of Ball. and written preslrr. IN
TO counIeracJ the usual effect of one of the Co'e-
neIS little talks. Among other dreadful p0Iiri...r
accusations II said he Two faced
When he mounted the stump BAN started z
something ike this, Ladies' and gentlemen b.--
fore entering into discussion of the sslss nj 1s
day wish 10 correct a statement made in v1ttr
daily paper that was two faced II is a srlsU
accusation from a small man. and deserves b,lt
little reply Here his gestures increased ana ~
collar began to wilt "a sure sign he was gettins.
mad). S
My fellow citizens" he blurted out do y1u
thlnk that n had two faces Ia wear the one ~
got now -
New-York tribune., 1900-07-29
SUPERIOR IN TOWELS.

THE sCoTCHMAN's DEFENCE OF his LANG-.G-2
From The Mexican Herald
a few days ago I was dining in OF the yes
taurants of the city At d table next 20 sa-
Italian a couple Of Mexicans and a Scotchr121-
The conversation turned upon the comparative
beauty of language Each one OF the party con-
tended that his own language was the superior OF
all others. The German based his cOnteutiOn upon
German language and the virie Character OF is
claimed that the French language not only had
superior. but no equal in its ability TO express al
the italian and one of the Aexicans each claimed
claim, the beauty OF sOnOrous sound. The bartls
waxed hot between these two. the Mexican main
sounds than any other living language
eIldE pG1n T7 "PpTrsG tlto tIIle5 % ne
his race, not taken any part in the discussion.
Saundy Scratched his head for moment as
though rejecting deeply; then he said: All weeL
ocht TO ken yer aine langwidge weeI But when Il
comes 20 taLkln o vowel soonds A dln1a ken cny
jist give ye a wee story that Illustrates WIN \
a mon ance went into store in Dunkirk an
c2tched piece o, cloth atween his fingers an bis
thumb !6og an he said 20 the stOrekeeper;
And the storekeeper said: .Ay. OO.'
q 'Aw OO2 said the mon.
&" .Ay. aw oo,' answered the storekeeper.
Jaw a oo? asked the mon.
." 'Ay. a OO?' said the stOrekeeper.
- s LheGes q complete business transaction carried
dnna ken if either italian or spanish or any ithr
lanSwidSe can equal thot
The above story. told by the SCOtchnan. is
here given with the representation of the sounds t
the words. in preference to the Scotch spelling.
which might not be familiar to some of the rel.i-
ers; The translation of the conversation which
is as follows:
Wool (OO)?''
Yes, wool (ay oO)'
''All wool taW OO)"'
Yes. all wool cay. aw oo>"
All one wool (aW OOl@''
Yes, all one wool tay, aw OO)."
New-York tribune., 1900-07-29
"ZE FL4VEUR DEE'CAT."
From What to Ea..

from What TO Eat-
At one of his famous little dinners a prominent
professional man of Washington was greatly
pieiSed with the salad also his guests
evidently it was partly meat and partly vegetable
put the naVor was new. distinct and undet etermin-
able This was so faint that guest declared
II 5 not taste at all; only a smell"
Al length some one suggested that the chef be
marked:
My man greatly dislikes being asked for recipes
on TINS occasion. however his vanity may
come hlm II we tell how greatly have enjoyed
the dinner, and the salad in particular. Al any
rate, We'll see"
The Frenchman soon appeared. and was vsibly
AFFECTED, not to say elated by the compliments.
"Eet gif me gret plaisir." he said. ITO tell how
| max ze sal-lad. Eet YER seemple. | hat Ze latue
,rr2nge ready; an haf re meat chop YER fine
an dry; ze celeri haf chop YER fine; an haf
ze pomme de terre, ze patate an stan leete
an dry; zen mix zem up. Zen max ze dresseeng
mayonnaise; madame, she know. | half all YER
col cor ready as re feesh ees serf Zen as re sa-lad
one lectle clOaf of garleek an needle him in Zs
mouth, so. an breathe gentle. YER gentle, on re
salad. Eat gif eet haveur del cat
New-York tribune., 1900-07-29
GUESSED RIGHr THE VERY FIRsr rLuE. |

From The Salt Lake Tribune.
A dear old woman with soft blue eyes white ring
let's around her ears and quaint purple gown got
on a Thtrd-st. car during the late torrid wave.
She looked rosy, but cool and comfortable. while
the others on the crowded moppinS their
broWS, tanning themselves and curSinS inwardly.
As Miss 'i9 got the she said to th, con
ductor, Hi want to get hOff at Hem-St."
"All right said the conductor. and the ear went
on Nothing happened until LIST was reached
when suddenly the old woman looked up and
asked, His this Help
c4 You 5 bet it is" said big. perspirng man. and
laughter that ripped through the car
New-York tribune., 1900-07-29

that the work could be done for much less. He
very soon found an enterprising contractor who
undertook the task for 5000. No. had, however,
views similar TO those of No. l, and equally
successful in finding 4 No. 8, who, in his turn
sdered $500 an extravagant sum for so insig-
nihcant undertaking. The street was event
ually paved at the cost of SIS And yet some say
that the Chinese not in advanced cOndi-
ton of civilization.
New-York tribune., 1900-07-29

preaching I ever heard" said the Bishop was
that of a good colored brother in Virginia. He had
just heard Jones preach, and was describing it to
some of his fellows.
" 'Jist as long as Bre'r Jones sticks to de Scrip
ters,' said the cOlored man, he amt no better
preacher than eny de rst of But when he
cuts loose from de Scriptcrs and jst let's er sail
den he's de doggondest preacher dat ever pounded
a pulDit
New-York tribune., 1900-07-29
1T STAGGERED HIN

From The Detroit Journal
defiant -''-- --'A'l
What evidence have you" he demanded "tbot
am the superintendent of Sabbath schoOI?'
Inc shortage IN your accounts - said l. quietly
think the fellow staggered by this for he
trembled as snapped the bracelets ON his wrists
New-York tribune., 1900-07-29
STREET P4TING IN PEKING.

From The Boston Journal.
MIR. Monnier tells this story abOdt official life i'm
China: "A short time ago the Emperor of China
made up his mind that the street of the legations
in Peking should at last be paved. To insure the
work being done, he himself provided the money
some $4,000 This sum handed to a high Off
cial of the Public Roads and Highways Depart
ment. 1t entered into the mind Of this dignitary
New-York tribune., 1900-07-29
SAN JONES'S STRONG POINTS.
From The Plttsburg Post.

from Ihe Pittsburg Post.
The Rev: Dr. Frank Bristol. pastor of the Met
Fop3ltan Church. in Washington which is attended
Dy PRESIDENT Mckinley, tells story which he heard
one evening while dining the White House
with the President and Bishop Chandler of the
methodist Cnurcb South. The party was talking
about S reyyalists and TeyyaIs and the case of the
THE best characterization of sam Iones's
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-03-23
Death of Samuel Kelley.

After lingering illness OF several
months Samuel Kelly, father of T.. f.
Kelly, died yesterday afternoon about
4 o'clock at his home on 7l6 north
Washington avenue, in the 10th year
of his age. He was one of the early
settlers of the county, having located
near Geneva on "a farm and he was
widely known over the county. For
several years he has made his home
in lola, but has suffered some time
with dropsy, which together with his
advancing years was the cause of his
death. The funeral services were con-
Quoted yesterday at o'clock from
the residence, Rev. William Hankins
officiating, and the remains were laid
to rest in lola cemetery.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-03-23
Afternoon ReceptiOn.

Wednesday afternoon the handsome
home of Mrs. ID. p. Northrup was the
scene of one Of the SWEETEST receptions
lola ever witnessed, when Mrs Nor
thrup, Mrs. G. b. Spencer, Mrs. f. E.
smith aud Mrs John Foust received
their lady friends. Fashionable lola,
to the number of nearly two hundred
ladies' were entertained, some from
from to 6. 1t was n pink and white
reception, the house being darkened
and lamps with pink shades used,
the decorations which were extensive
were in pink and the young ladies
who assisted we're all gowned in pink.
Miss Clara Foust served coffee, Miss
Nellie COlborn acted as usher, Clara
Bowlus, Florence Mitchell and May
Horvilie served the refreshments and
Miss Jennie Mcneil presided at the
punch bowl. The coffee table was
tinted by pink shaded lamp, and
pink and white ribbons extended to
he ceiling from each corner Of the
table. Ornamental and Towering
plants were profusely scattered all
through the rooms aud during the
afternoon the mandolin club played.
The guests were met in the hall and
assisted to remove their coats, but re-
tanned their hats and gloves, and
everybody had such a delightful time
there was constant reference to the
flight of time lest the pleasantly pass.
ing hours should lead into breach of
etiquette. The refreshments were
lrreproschable and the afternoon was
one of unalloyed enjoyment. A new
ideal of afternoon receptions was
created in lola.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-03-23
GRAND MILLINERY OPENING
Miss PrlbOth Announces her Annual
Opening Next Thursday ana Friday
March 20 and 30

TO the Ladies' of lola and Allen
County:
| wish to announce that my Annual
Spring Opening of Millinery will be
given at my store in lola next Thurs.
day and Friday, March 20 and 30, and
| extend a very cordial invitation to
all the ladies 10 attend. My spring
stock is larger than ever before, and |
am sure that the display OF hats, bon
nets, and spring fancies of all kinds
will well repay visit. The spring
styles are novel and very pretty, and
| have taken special paine to bring on
only the very latest and most approx.
ed patterns. Everyone will be equal
ly welcome, whether coming to buy
or merely to see the display. Remem
Der the dates.
MISS CARRIE PRIBOTH.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-03-23

AT o'clock Monday the district
court began the work OF the session
and waded through "a lot of business.
The liquor case against VIM
Frampton was dismissed on payment
OF the costs by defendant.
Charles Groth pleaded guilty to the
fifth count in the information and the
others were dismissed. Judgment
was reserved.
In the case of state VS. Fred He'll
man permanent Injunction was is
sued against him and against Mr..
Thorpe, owner of the building on
West street, against the sale OF in
toxicating liquor on the premises.
Heilman to pay costs which Include
$50 attorneys Zee.
The Injunction against Ed Rushton
will be dismissed on payment OF the
cost in the case.
The case of State va Robert Sailer
was dismissed on motion of the county
attorney. Sailer was accused of the
theft OF barber's tools.
Judgment was rendered against M
V. Green In favor of the Aetna Loan
Assn. in the sum of 1907 04, defend
ant also to pay costs.
In the replevin suit of the American
Type Founders Co, against }. b. los
horn 80 days were given in which tc
file an answer.
II. o. Dieuis withdrew his cult fol
divorce against Stella A, Dieuis with
out prejudice, and on motion OF the
defendant the case was continued on
the docket on her cross petition.
The suit of j. II. Giants against the
Fisher sisters was continued.
Chas. Howard pleaded guilty t.
plain assault and was sentenced tC
twenty days in the county Jail and tt
pay costs.
Surelda Sorden was given divorce
from her husband William T., di
vorce not to become operative fol
sixty days and plaintiff to pay costs
The case of i. b. Pearson, adminis
traitor, vs s. M. Knox was called
Melton of the defendant for new trla
was overrued and excepted to. Re
port of referee was confirmed anC
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-03-23
Anniversary Surprise Party.

Last night after the sun went down
and before the moon came up, a large
crowd of supposedly law-abiding peo-
pie made rendezvous at the house
of IL. M. Miller and from that point
sailed forth and took the home of w.
l.. Bartels unawares. Mrs. Bartels
was AT home but w. l.. had dropped
down town for game OF seven.up so
his son went after him. There were
about ninety.five present and they
had enough good things to eat to feed
five hundred. 1t seems that Wednes-
day was the thirty-seventh anniver-
sary of the wedding of Mr.. and Mrs,
Bare and the Dorothy Rebeckahs
knew this and planned the surprise.
They left as a permanent reminder OF
their visit and of their good will q
handsome chair for each of theil
"hosts" aud beautiful jardiniere
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-03-23

Monday evening when the first fire
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-03-23

judgment entered thereon that de.
tepdant recover from administrator
the sum of $. Defendant excepted
and was given 80 days to make .
case.
The district court Wednesday
found Mr.. Montgomery guilty on one
count of selling intoxicating liquors
The count WAS for maintaining q
nuisance. This finished the jury
cases and 1t was dismissed. Stenog-
rapher Shinn also left for his home nj
Chanuie, IA one of his boys is quite i'll.
The principal feature of this term
of court, as OF others IN recent years,
has been the liquor cases. There are
eight or ten jOintists in the county
Jail now serving out sentences, and
these same men were INDICTED by the
second grand jury. 1t was these
later indictments ON which they were
tried and tn save expense the county
attorney permitted them to plead
guilty under the club house clause.
They did this and if they ever get out
of Jail they can, by paying 500, 90
free Of this second prosecution, Those
who awaited themselves of this privi-
lege were A. b. Ferguson, Jim Mills,
Frank limerick, Joe Nagele, Jos.
Often, John Often and John Witch.
Chas. GroIh pleaded guilty to the
sixteenth count, and the Isaac Ford
and A. b Ferguson cases were dis
IN ssed.
James Allen, the colered man
charged with running gambling
hou.e on the north side, pleaded
guilty to shooting craps and is liable
to a fine and a Jail sentence, but es.
capes the penitentiary to which he
was liable for maintaining gam
bling house.
The CAGE of state vs. J. +. Ben
jamin, statutory rape, was dismissed.
Henry Feinberg, the old man who
tried to bride Purcell not to prosecute
his son, Isaac Feinberg, who robbed
Purcell's pocket at the depot at the
time of Funstou's home coming. was
allowed to go his way in peace, he
having been moved to break the law
through love for his son.
Harry johnson, one of The pick
pockets, who was allowed to go ON
giving bond for 5000 at the time of
his arrest, tailed to appear for trial
and his bond was forfeited.
Jack O'Meara, one of the jointists.
also failed to show up and his bond
Tor $500 in the court of appeals, was
declared forfeited and an alias war
rant Issued.
Mr.. Valentine Blatz, bet ter known
as old Val, has brought suit against
! Sheriff Hobart to recover he bar fix
lures and mirror which the latter took
from one of the Humboldt joints.
G. II. Pratt was given judgment
against the NJ. X. IL T. Ry., but time
was given for the defendant to dig up
new reason why the decree should
not be sutained.
The Taber lumber company was
gwen Judgment against the lola
Manufacturing company for the sum
OF 1891 90 and four other suits which
have been filed were passed over as
there was nothing to be done.
I'm the suit Of GrebGin Afford
against VIM. A. Squires the sale was
confirmed and a deed ordered given
The court finished up some minor
matters and then adjourned at II
o'clock yesterday until next week
Judge Slilwell going to his home il
Erie on the afternoon train.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-03-23
Gillespie Construction Com
pany gets it for $4,000
Done Next August
R. B. STEVENSON BUILDING
He has Quietly set to Work
Increasing the Size Of
Bedell Building

Mr. Gillespie and MIR. Kibbe, of the
Gillespie Construction Company,
which has offices in Kansas City and
st. sLouis, were I'm lola this week
day and closed up the contract with
the Northrups for the construction of
tho new bank building. This COM
pany was the lowest bidder for the
work, their bid being $4,000. Other
bids were $4,000 and then the rest
jumped up to $4,000. There was u
difference of $1,000 almost lbet ween
the lowest and highest bids. The
only lola firm which submitted esti-
mates for the entire contract was
Cecil a. Edwards who bid about
$40. 0C0. Nichols d Ihrig made Il bid
of 81, 600 even for the plastering but
the Gillezpi company was about
eight dollars lower.
Mr.. Gillespie said that il it was
possible Lola workmen would be en-.
ployed on the building, the only
question being whether they Were
willing to hit the pace which the con
tractors will require. They have
built some Of the biggest buildings IN
this country, among them the
Planters Hotel in st. Louis, and q
1000 room Office building in Buffalo
They believe they will be able tC
finish the work and turn the build.
ing over to the Northrups in five
months.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-03-23
hteyenson Gets FnshionahIe.

MIR. II. b. stevenson, who owns the
building on east Madison avenue, oc-
cupied by Bedell Bros. dry goods
store, has decided to build an addi-
ton to that building, and thus retain
his position as a fashionable business
man i'm lola. The addition is already
begun, will be of brick and will be
twenty by forty feet in dimensions.
This will materially increase the size
of the store room and Bedell Bros
will lose no time in spreading over
the new floor space. They will then
have one of the largest store rooms in
the city and one of the largest stocks
and thus the fashion goes.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-03-23

At recent social junction lady
assured her friends that she was
wearing five plasters, not to mention
corn plasters, and she was Immediate
~ dubbed 1.-THE plaster cast of Mrs,
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-03-23

alarm was turned in for the pest house
Whiskers Canatsey had man down
in the chair and had just lathered his
face preparatory to shaving him. The
bell rang. "Excuse me stranger, " said
Nhiskers, Jpn be back in minute"
After about fifteen minutes Jimmy
Hersh berger said to The waiting man:
"Don't worry about him, I've yet to
learn the name Of the thing that
Whiskers wouldn't leave if the fire
bell rang"
Two men were passing along the
street. &C., it all, had full
hand and not cuss stayed" and
then they were out OF hearing. Now
what do you suppose he meant?
Rex Dyspepsia Tablets are guaran
| iaed 10 cure Indigestion ana Heart
burn o5 cents C. r. Enencer u Co
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-03-23
KANSAS CLIPS AND COMMENTS

Salina Is eating fresh trawberries,
In the country around Newton the
social fad Is "rag bees" at which q
rag time" is probably had.
FIT. Scott's mean man wears the belt
by virtue of having poisoned neigh
bore flock OF fine blooded chickens
Hutchinson must make quite fJss
over the death of town ours, at least
the city marshal gets 81 for burying
one.
Every newspaper in the State here
after which has n good scoop per-
petrated on II will claim that it il
following Sheldon and "suppIessing
certain news Items"
A dipping tank has been added to
the facilities of the stock yards at Gar.
den City, and the Hutchinson Nous
says that politicians low pass through
that town only ON night trains
II all the plans made by the numer.
Gus town improvement societies" be-
ing organized over the State are car
ried out, it would not be surprising If
n delegate from heaven should come
to Kansas Tor pointers.
Rev. Sheldon's latest IDEA is to
raise 600. 600 bushels OF corn during
| he next month for the starving in
| India. He really docs not intend TO
| perform the miracle OF such Il quick
crop, hut hopes to raise 1t from the
farmers cribs.
A Topeka man burglarized house
and secured two watches, several
rings and n pocket book. He was
afterwards adjudged insane, which
was probably correct, else he would
never have wasted his thieving energy
on such small fry as city people, when
| there are hundreds of farmers in the
State untouched.
A barn storming company in the
short grass country brings out the
people with this in its announcements:
IA flash, and crash, "A whirl and a
swish, an electric magnetic, sympa-
thetic combine of grotesque, eccentric
and pretty figures, eXtolling verit-
able cyclone of fresh, breezy acts and
tuneful melodies loaded with the dis
titled essence of parody and fun "
AT a recent oratorial contest in
Lawrence one OF the Haskell Indians
spoke on "Luck and Labor.n And
this tutOred savage concluded, ac-
cording to the Journals report, "that
hard, thoughtful labor is the only
way to success and that those who
never grow weary of humble toll, nor
discouraged because the mountain of
difficulty hides from their view the
city of fame, are the ones who reap
the harvest" Now wouldn't that
make your scalp wobblel
The Davis addition west of the
Santa Fe railroad is thriving little
town by iteelf. Last fall there was
but one house in the addition and
now there are dozen and new one
continually under construction. A
side walk has been petitioned for east
of the track and the railroad will
probably soon be asked to put in 9
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-03-23
Heard on the Street.


81 tell you what" said the first
loafer to the second, "this amt goin'
to be good town to live In this sum
mea. With all the buildin' of houses
and stores and water works and
things they won't be no quiet places
where a man can sit and whttle
without havin' his vision affronted
by sights o. labor"
~
When the water works is i'm opera.
ton there will have to be a readiust-
ment of the fire fighting arrange
ments.
~
"Can you tell me where | can find q
house." asked woman Of every body
she met on the street. Il have been
on the lookout for two weeks
and the only empty house | can find
is four room house out i'm Breakdown
and the owner wants to move into il
next month but will rent it unit
then. l know lots of people who
would come here if they could get q
place to live"
Nv
Monday evening when the first fire