Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1900-11-09
A MATTER OF ETHNOL0GY.
BY Henry L. Mencken.

For three years Takisha Yama wrest-
led in a preparatory academy with the
intricacies of geography and English
grammar. His father, who was the as
sistant sub-secretary of the Japanese
legation at Washington, then sent him
to college, and there he fioundered
about in the quagmires of logarithms
and metaphysics and the more recon-
dite branches of political economy His
knowledge of syntax and the conjuga-
ton of irregular verbs was assumed TO
be complete. But as a matter OF fsct,
he really never knew the exact differ
ence between Il love" and you love"
until his sophomore year, when he met
a certain Miss Ellerbe and began, in
consequence, to be mildly troubled with
insomnia
1t must not be supposed that he be-
came her slave at once Far from IT,
For Takisha, be it we'll understood, was
not an impulsive young man and Miss
Ellerbe was not. by any means, ali ex-
traordinarily attractive young wo-
man. Their acquaintance was founded
on the fact that her father, as the as
sistant chief of the Bureau of Oriental
Languages in the State Department had
official dealings with Takisha PEREZ AS
the latter was a Monaghan with adj
vanced American characteristics, his
family took a place in the semi-diplo-
matte as we'll as in the formal diplo-
matte set, and by this means came to
see much Of the Ellerbes. Young Ia
kIsha used to spend an hour or two
every other day talking to Miss Eller-
be about the Mission of Civilization
and the Antiquity of the Japanese.
She listened because he was pictures
que and ne talked because she was
good listener. Often they met at other
peoples houses and together suffered
in the martyrdom of those who are bor-
ed by two-steps and made i'll by elab-
crate dinners.
But'he often saw dozens of other girls
under exactly similar circumstances,
and as he was not a very observant
young particularly when he
himself was the object of observation,
he and Miss Ellerbe were acquainted
long enough to have become common
place to each other before he discov-
cred that it was particularly more
pleasant to dance with her than to
dance with Miss Hendly or Miss Fon-
less, for instance, and pleasanter by far
to talk to her than to listen to the
clatter of the other girls. The knowl-
edge of these facts came over him
slowly and imperceptibly He could not
have named the day when he recogniz-'
ed them for the first time. 1t seemed
to be immeasurably distant, when he
thought of it later, and still ridiculous
ly recent.
But the day upon which they took
full possession of him and made him a
helpless bondman, he never forgot at
all-or not, al least until the beginning
OF his affair with Miss Kee, his coun-
trywoman, which had nothing to 10
with this tale.
IL was the last week of vacation.
Takisha felt the stimulus OF the half
chill half-balmy Indian summer air.
and he rode out Pennsylvania avenue
from his hotel toward the White House
and the home Of Miss Ellerbe. and ne
had the confidence that wins battles
and builds empires.
1t had come to him suddenly, after
a week of doubt and unrest. Why" ne
had often wondered during the I'M
happy period, does the image Of Miss
Ellerbe blot out the images of the
other girls ! know, Why do / look on
her as part OF the fixed arrangements
of things? Is it physical affinity or
Identity of tastes and souk?" Takisha,
it viii be observed. had been dabDling
in several Of the newer and more neb-
ulous isms.
AS he tied and retied his cravat that
morning the answer came. Il have the
knowledge" he soliloquized exuItantIy,.
in his naivete English. Il am inform
ed Why do / seek her? Because |
love her. Why do / listen when she
speaks and go where she goes and sit
at her feet? Because love her, love
her, love her; l am informd. / love
her"
So Takisha sailed out to see Miss
Ellerbe and TO tell her OF the great dis
covery. That she would be as sur
prised and delighted as he was seemed
to him certainty. No doubt OF II
even suggested itself to his mind. For,
besides being a very young man. he
was a native Of a land where love IS
4 right due from any woman 70 any
man who may offer II IN retuTn-al-
ways supposing. OF course, that the
deal is satisfactorily fnaneiered.
TINS is much astounding state OF
affairs" he mentally soliliquized as he
jostled his way 10 a seat IN a crowded
street car. this is Of establishment pro-
ductive and also Of joyousness. But the
idea l. Takisha Yana, with FIVE thou
sand years Of ancestors. love this fair
American girl? But she is not an
American. The typical American is
different. far different. She is a god
dess after the model OF my country
women. II is the reTersion Of the type.
Her grace, her daintlness OF foot. her
serene and glorious femininity-here
lies the afiinity.'"
II Takisha's thoughts had been CO.
herent and he had possessed sufficient
command Of language to express
them, be would have said-as he doubt
less meaut-thak Mrs Ellerhe's Iovahle