The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-04-19
Tiny Tim and the Boss.

Once upon a time it used to be said that
this was a great country, because Its in
situations were founded upon the town
meeting. The town meeting idea rests
upon the power and ability of each in
dividual citizen to speak his little piece,
to exercise his little influence as a con-
stituent molecule of the political mass,
and to be counted with his neighbors.
But that was in the nebulous days be-
fore political power passed from the COM
monalty and its nominal representatives
in Office into the hands of bosses like
Hanna and Plat. The sociologist of this
decade would say rather that American
institutions are based upon the ability
of half a dozen men of the type of Cosimo
de Medici; capable Of organizing and domi-
mating political machines and using them
to further the purposes of a plutocratic oil
garchy which, in the last analysis. dictates
the policies and legislation of the nation,
and rules its rulers and itself with auto
cratic absolutism. But this is serious
thought, and the text of our sermon is
far from being serious.
Be it known that Mr.. Timothy L. Wood
run. Of Kings County, New York, one of
Mr.. Platt's most cherished and cherubic
political offspring. is an aspirant Ger the
Republican Vice Presidential nomination.
Nobody in particular wants Tiny Tim"
as far as we have been able to learn. But
the shelf in view looks gaudy to him, and
he screams for it If it were the moon,
the principle would be the same. His
indulgent party parent does not think
that the blood OF Tiny Tim could stand
such richness. There is another boy. named
Theodore, who rides bronchos and climbs
hills. whom it would be well to send to
the Vice Presidency as to a house OF
refuge But the Republican playmates Of
Tiny Tim in Brooklyn want him to have
the toy he longs for. if only TO stop his
screeching for it. So they muster up cour-
age and go to Papa Platt. Little Billy"
Elliott-perhaps it is "Johnny''-is the
spokesman. He stammers, and bushes,
and rattles the marbles in his pocket as
he says:
I'VE feel we have the right. Senator Plltt. and
we wish TO exercise the right, 10 come here In
behalf OF our fellow tOwnsulan and leader, Lieu
tenant Governor Woodruff We believe that he
will uruve a typical man for the great place
ior which We advocate him. We do not wish to
disarrlnse any existing plan. In speaking for
OF delegates, would say We would like
the convention to endorse lam. The majority oi
Us, however, feel that ii i too late to ask FOR
this. We ask You, sir, 10 do that which you
think best and wise, but We wish most sincerely
and emphatically 20 endorse Timothy Lester
Woodruff for Vice President"
Papa Plat is panied but not angry He
says: Il have said several times that
it would be unwise TO endorse Tim at
this convention. I think it would ruin
him" This, We take it, was meant to
convey the idea that too much cabbages
is not good for guinea pigs" But the
brave young spokesman was not to be
crushed, and straightway. with boyish
guile. he resorted to ''tofy' as follows:
.Nir. Plstt, we do not desire to laud or pile
on complimentary terms unnecessarily, but wc
recognize you as The maker OF Presidents Vice
Presidents, and Governors. and Your personal
frionds-some Of Us for twenty-five years-ue ash
you 10 do what YOU can TO make him Vice PresI-
dent Tbs il the most distinguished delegation
that ever came from Kings County, containing
merchants. business men, lawyers. doctors, etc"
Papa Plat was not properly placated.
Everybody knows that he makes Govern
OFFS. insurance commissioners, harbor mas
good things otherwise; but the juvenile
assertion that he makes Presidents ard
Vice Presidents. while he would wish IL
to be true. rather rasped him, because it
is not There are others Hanna for ex-
ample, So Papa Plat looked severe and
snorted as he remarked:
81 have shown my confidence aud faith in Gov
ernor Woodruff many times by doing very many
things ! suppose 1 shall continue 10 do this,
but gentlemen, / am going to take my own way
OF doing it. 1 think you will fad in the end
that am the best friend 'Timmie' has got"
There was not much encouragement in
this, but the boys knew on which side
their bread was buttered. and howled with
delight Then Papa Plat tried to look
pleased, although he was not, and was
thinking how a trunk strap would fit the
stern opportunities OF the occasion. Any
way, he rejoined:
81 will be highly honored, gentlemen, by your
personal friendship. and thank YOU. As ! have
said in the past, think will show you before
we get through that will be the bes. friend
Tim has l must exercise my own judgment