Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-09-06
STORNETTG S.

One day in presiding at table at
ms country home i'm Windsor. VI,
with n swarm of grandchildren about
him, Senator William W. Eyarts is
said to have asked: what is the diff
ference between this goose before din
ner and me after?" After much flu
tile guessing, he answered, in quiet
glee: Now the goose is stuffed with
sage, and soon the sage'--pointing
to himself--"will be stuffed with the
goose"
Beaumarchais was censured because
ne made his personages utter too few
fine thoughts, and put too few poe
teal phrases into their mouths. He
answered that this was not his fault.
He must confess that during the whole
time he was writing he was engaged
in the most lively conversation with
his dramatis personae; that while
seated at his writing table he was
exclaiming: Figaro. prends garde,
le Compte'sait tout; ''Ah. Comtesse,
quelle imprudence. vite! sauve tot, pc
tit page!"' And then he wrote down
the answers-nothing more.
A plumber who was sent to the
house of stock broker to execute
some repairs, was taken by the but
Ter into the dining room, and was be-
ginning his work when the lady of
the house entered. John" said she,
with a suspicious glance toward the
plumber, remove the silver frtsn
the sideboard and lock it up
at once" But the man of
lead was in no wise dis
concerned. ''rom," said he to his
apprentice, who accompanied him.
take my watch and chain and these
coppers home to my missus at once.
There seems to be dishonest people
about this house"
Anthony Hope Hawkins believes
very much IN men of letters standing
by each other, and he has worked
tremendously hard to help on the
fund which the Authors society of
London is trying to accumulate, from
which pensions are TO be paid to au-
thors whose literary merit has not
brought them corresponding income
and who view increasing years with
fear. Recently an unfortunate wri-
ter, who visited Mr.. Hawkins at his
rooms in Buckingham street, by the
Embankment Gardens. exclaimed on
leaving with something in his pocket:
"Oh, sir, l feel that Providence must
have sent me to you!~ And the reply
came with twinkle in his benefac-
tors eye: Let us hope, however, that
Providence will not acquire the habit
of doing So"
Secretary of State Hay is one of the
most patient of men. He likes to be
helpful to newspaper correspondents,
and receives them freely in his otiica
and gives them such information and
hints as the proprieties will permit.
Even the representatives of the sem
sational or yellow papers are treated
with courtesy, though naturally with
due caution. Imagine the secretary's
surprise one Afternoon during the heat
of the Chinese crisis, says Walter
Wellman, when he was up to his ears
in work and anxiety, to hear from the
lips of William, his faithful messen-
ger, these words: mfr Secretary, the
New York ----- wants you to step
TO the telephone" Mr.. Hay gasped.
caught his tongue in the nick of
time, recovered his diplomatic urban
ity. and replied: Say that the sec
rotary expresses deep regret that just
at this moment he is very much en-
crossed in important work" Unfor-
tunately what he said under his
breath could not. under the rules of
the telephone exchange, be sent over
the wires.