davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
A LITTLE NONSENSE.

"A man who doesn't tie his own ties
h no gentleman" "And the man who
does, doesn't always produce an effect
that makes him look like one."-In.
dianapolis News.
How He Did It.-Friend--I don't
see how you manage to assume that
expression of agony in the last act"
Actor--"I have the prompter say rail.
road ties Harlem Life.
Calculated to Please.-"Dolly, is
your new young man intelligent?"
swell, pa, he's just about right; he
doesn't understand politics any bet
ter chan I do."-Indianapolis Journal.
"Mr. Han dcase," said the minister,
II saw your son in saloon yester-
day." "Did your" replied Mr.. Hard.
case; 81 hope he had the politeness
to ask you to have something."-Phil.
adelphia Record.
Elsie-"Yes, dear, my husband is a
doctor, and lovely fellow. hut awful.
ly absent-minded." rlia-"lndeed!"
Elsie-"Only fancy! Daring the mar.
riage ceremony, when he gave me
the ring, he felt my pulse and asked
me to put out my tongue" Ada
swell, he won't do the latter again."
Spare Moments.
"This is great story" said the
new reporter, "but can't think Of a
good head for 1t. It's about trusted
employee, whose accounts were found
to be crooked, and when he was ac-
cused Of it dropped dead" "That'a
easy" said the snake editor, help
fully; ''head it: Died from Expo
sure "-Philadelphia Press.
Noble Little Georgie.-Proud Mann
ma-"Wasn't George a noble little
gentleman to insist upon Nellie's help
ing herself to peach before he took
one himself?" Uncle Henry-"Oh,
yes, very noble. George, what made
you let Nellie help herself frst?'
Georgie-"Becaus there wasn't but
two peaches, great big one and a
little bit of one. / knew Nellie would
be too polite to take the big one
Boston Transcript.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
PERSONAL AND IMpERSONAr..

A pious Liverpool lady has devoted
her odd moments to writing out all
the books Of the Bible.
The bootblacks of Boston have been
forbidden by the police authorities to
do any shining" on Sundays in the
public streets of the city.
Alvarez Calderon, the new Peruvian
minister at Washington, has placed
two of his sons and two nephews as
students at the Maryland agricultural
college at Hyattsville. They are to
take the regular course in agriculture
and mechanics.
The bishop of Liverpool has issued a
new code of rules for confirmation.
He desires that girls should refrain
from the use of long pins in the hair,
as the presence of such pins frequent
ly results in the bishops fingers being
lacerated during the "laying on of
hands"
One member of the British parlia-
ment, recently dissolved, Capt. Seeley,
though alive and well, never took his
seat. He was elected to vacancy
while he was in the service in South
Africa and was unable to leave the
field to take up his peaceful duties.
He is still in South Africa.
The memory of Harry N. Pillsbury,
the chess player, is simply marvellous.
At South Bethlehem, Pa, the other
evening, when blindfolded, he stimuli
taneously played game of whist,
won nine out of ten games of chess
and memorized 30 words selected by
guests, the first three words being
antiphlogistine, periosteum and TAXA
diastase.
Ex-Speaker Reed, being himself a
most methodical man likes those
about him to be as punctual in bust
ness matters as he is. The other day
he reprimanded an Office boy for the
hardness of his arrival at the office.
"Well," said the boy, "you saio there
was nothing like regularity, and as
I'd been an hour late for the past
two weeks l didn't like to change my
method and come in on time to-day"
Two years ago Nine. Alva, singer
famous in Australia, volunteered to
sing one evening at Benoigo before
some nuns who were about to go into
retreat. She is now informed that
a wealthy Australian, in recognition
of her kindness, "as well as of her
magnificent endowment as vocalist"
has left her $175,cO0, which is at the
rate of $4,000 for each of the seven
songs she rendered. Nine. Alva Is q
Protestant
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
THE WEIGHING MACHINE.
n Has Become Almost as Essential
Piece of bathroom FIX
ture as the Bathtub.

In every household to-day there are
babies or banting women or dyspeptic
members, and the modern, scientific
physician. draws his sage conclusions
as much from his patients pounds as
from their temperature. In conse-
auence the most wonderful machines
have been developed to meet this need
of determining human weight to the
smallest fraction of an ounce.
Among the wedding presents OF a
summer bride was remarkable-look-
ing object that puzzled considerably
those who were asked in to view the
gifts, until the bride herself explained
that it was a new and improved family
weighing machine.
The frame Of the affair was made OF
highly polished mahogany, and the top
of the platform, supported by four
graceful legs, was cushioned and COW
cred with royal red leather. To one
side of the cushion, were notched and
numbered bars.of silver, and with this
went leather-bound book and series
of little numbered weights, made also
of silver
The whole thing was a puzzle TIE
some intelligent person recognized the
apparatus as an elegant family weigh
ing machine, so exquisite in its ADJUST
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
MISSING OF GREAT THINGS.
People who Have Stubbed Their Toes
Against Big Fortunes I'M
awnres.

~ dare say every great invention, be-
fore it is finally hit upon," remarked
New Orleans lawyer to Times-Demo-
crat man, "has been within hands
reach of dozens of men who were un-
aware how near they stood to fortune.
There is nothing more singular in fact
than the way people can skate around
some huge idea without seeing it.
81 had an experience OF that kind
once myself. 1t occurred to me that
revolving bookcase would be. handy
thing for Office use, and had one built
to order. 1t proved success, and on
several occasions | thought vaguely of
having the device patented, but / dis
missed the scheme as not worth WHILE
Nearly two years afterward more in
telligent gentleman up in New Eng
land did what wouldn't do, and TO-
day he is rolling in riches. / have been
obliged to buy one of his eases SINE,
and l never hated to give up money so
badly in my life. Several other IN
stances in the same line have come
under my personal observation.
81 have a friend, for instance, Who
stumbled upon the principle of the Bsll
telephone long before the war. He was
at college at the time, and he and a
fellow student actually went so far as
to construct an experimental line, over
half a mile long. They had it in sue
cessful operation for several weeks,
when it was discovered and destroyed
by cantankerous professor, and thus
vanished what might have been one of
the biggest fortunes in the world. The
incident had almost faded from my
friends mind when Prof. Bell launched
his invention on the public.
smother gentleman, who was for
merly client of mine, anticipated the
pneumatic tire years before somebody
else patented IL. He is fond of horses,
and away back in the '7Os he had a
light road cart made that was almost
the exact counterpart of the modern
pneumatic sulky. The big, clumsy
looking tires excited great merriment
among his friends. They dubbed them
sausage Wheels and he has told me
more than once that that foolish joke
was the thing that caused him to aban-
don the experiment. Pneumatic tires
have since made half dozen big
syndicates rich.
"Still another acquaintance figured
out the exact mechanism of the self
binding reaper nearly ten years before
the machine was covered by patents.
Not being farmer, he failed to appre-
ciate the Importance of the thing. 1t
impressed him as being chimerical, and
he pigeonholed his drawings to gather
dust until he awakened to the fact that
he had fortune by the throat, only to
let go again. His comments on the in
cident wouldn't sound well at prayer
meeting"
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
Making Him whole.

ut takes the glorious old west to
do business" said the man with the
alligator grip as he boarded the train
at ST. Paul. 1--WE of the east are not
in it little Bit"
Anything to relate?" queried one
Of the passengers as he woke up.
"Just few words. Travelled from
New York to Chicago with a staving.
looking girl. At Buffalo l was gone
on her. As we reached Chicago she
had set the date / returned home,
wrote her 800 love letters and came
out here to get married"
"And what?"
"She decided that she would mar
ry another. She estimated the value
of my time at $500, the worth Of my
letters at $500 and my broken heart
at 5000, and drew me a check for
1000, and here 1t Is. Gave
her receipt in full to date, kissed
her gooo-by, and there you are and
here / am. There's but one way to
do business, and the west knows all
about it. Yes, check tor a thousand,
and how many of you gentlemen will
smoke Henry Clay at my expense ?"
buffalo Courier.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
A Curious Russian Trade.

The Rostov police have just succeed.
ed in arresting a woman who has
been wanted for the past two years
for having driven a lucrative trade in
artificial mutilations. After her hus-
bands death the widow continued the
business, and by some want of caution
aroused the attention of the police,
but she has long managed to evade
them, while continuing to perform her
operations. BY injecting under the
skin at the joints some preparation Of
petroleum, she produces a very nat
ural-looking contraction of the joint
operated on. Her clients were those
among the common people who de-
sired, at as small an expense as pos
sible, to escape being taken for SOL
diers, and among less deserving and
richer people, a certain number of
clever swindlers, who defrauded ac-
cident insurance companies by affect
ing the same kind of disfgurements.
The last attempt, which led to the
capture, was on young man who had
arranged to fall out of train, and so
account for his injuries to the insur-
ance company, besides the POSSIBLE
ity of getting sum of money from
the railway company.-London Stand
ard.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14

strips of leather. These are neces-
sary precautiop, as the babies are
often hung up, cradles and all, on the
branches OF the fir trees when their
parents want to be rid of them. At
II o'clock we all went into the church,
an ugly, whitewashed, wooden lit
tie building, adorned inside with
grotesque plaster figures and big
eye, painted in vivid blue, with a
hideous black eyelash. 1t appeared
out of sea of white paint, and
looked down on us with an uncanny
and fixed stare from behind the altar.
The service was Lutheran, and read
in Swedish by a priest sent all the
way from Undersaker. After the
christening Of the babies we all went
into the churchyard, where the burial
service was chanted over the graves
of those who had died in the last six
months. 1t was all rather impressive,
somehow, and the little Lapps looked
very much in earnest and joined
heartily in all the prayers. After an
hour OF the service my father and |
left, as before returning home we
wanted to visit one of their kotas, or
camps, the only one lying at the foot
of the field. A quarter of an hours
walk brought us to it. In shape
rather resembling an Indian wigwam,
this kota, unlike the usual ones made
of reindeer skin, was built Of turf
overlaid with branches, with the
smoke coming out of a hole in the
roof. Crawling through the narrow
opening We found ourselves in cir
cular room about ~ feet in diameter.
Fir boughs, bundles and sacks strewed
the earthen floor. and our escort, a
Lapp woman, told us that no less than
20 men, women and children from the
higher encampment had slept in this
limited space the night before to be
ready for the next days service. They
generally sleep in their clothes with
out undressing, these strange little
people. OF furniture Of any sort, bed,
table or chair, there was not trace.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
M5165 fsRE|N||'R43I:i5i;7H
AAfzik|l]iljS!lS$5. 4
VISIT TO THE Laps.
Young American Traveller Tells of
Her Experience During n Trip
In Scandinavia.

Miss Margaret Kennedy. who made
recent trip through an unfre-
quented part of Sweden, thus de-
scribes some of her experiences in the
New York Tribune:
During our stay at Otschon we
made long and interesting excur-
sion to the Laps, and had the rare
opportunity of assisting at one of
their services, which are only held
two or three times year, An hours
row and two hours ride through the
forest along broad and rushing
river brought us to their little wood
en- church, which, with farm or two,
nestled in small but fertile valley;
behind this lowered the wild and
rocky field, on which this tribe of
Lapps had their encampment. We put
up our ponies in the stables of the
"Lapp king" rich farmer, so called
because of his kindness and hospital
ity to the Lapps, who, in their turn,
treated him as their father and gen.
eral counsellor.
We amused ourselves till The service
began watching the congregation. as
they appeared over the fields, looking
very bright and picturesque in their
church going attire, which was richer
and much more adorned than is usual
ly the case; but these people belonged
to very prosperous tribe, possessing
many hundred reindeer. The curious
ly shaped hats of the men are scarlet,
as n rule; their waistcoats are thick
~ braided in vivid colors, and they
have skin tight breeches made Of
reindeer skin. The women's caps are
of crimson satin, their hair IS loose
and plated in with strings of beads,
and they wear long embroidered tun-
les stretching to their knees. Red
seems to be their favorite color; even
the babies wear tight-fitting red caps,
and very sweet they looked as they
lay in their little reindeer skin
cradles and were rocked by their
mothers, who were waiting to take
them to be christened when the serv-
ice began.
These cradles are made in the shape
of French sabots. laced across with
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
COLLINS, oNoMEs AND ELVES.

You have read of the fays and fairies, the
COLLINS, gnomes and elves?
They dwell here right among you. Why,
we are those folks ourselves;
The round-faced pudgy babies here in your
laps and homes,
We are the frollcsome fairies. the COLLINS
gay and gnomes.
Ills strange how people wonder and seek
both fast and far
For mysteries by the million which live
right where they are.
Good fairies watch DER mortals, their in
nocent ways and wiles,
Sow crops Of good Intentions you harvest
In sheaves OF smiles;
They gladden. the poorest houses bring
hope to the poorest hearts,
And lend men inspiration to triumph In
fields and marts.
Don't We these things accomplish, when
baby's magic touch
VIII brighten the poorest howell and bless
Its mortals much?
or course we are full of mischief, tbs
trait of the gleesome elves.
Hut grown folks lean little to trouble
some ways themselves;
We keep them alert and watchful, restrain
them from over-sleep,
And sometimes even ZIP matters by making
them scold and weep;
But we later give full measure OF blessing
disguised In noise,
transmitting their brighter moments to
jubilees packed with joys
Their work would flag and falter but for
babes enshrined at home;
We sometimes act as magnets, permitting
them not to roam.
We hold their hearts at the fireside when
their bodies are far away,
And we even make hard sinners remem-
Der their God and pray;
or course we are mites but mighty, wee
folk but wondrous strong.
For we turn to psalms the signing, and
we turn the sobs to song.
Yes, We are the fays and fairies, the COB
Inns, gnomes and elves.
Combining all their witchcraft and willy
ways ourselves:
We work grand Transformations, some
times by the midnight moon.
When papas waltz In "nighties" and trot
to homemade tune.
Don't strain your eyes far-seeking for
hidden elves and charms,
Here are the wee folk nesting right In
your laps and arms.
/. EDGAR JONES
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
Rolled Fowl Par Excellence.

After the fowl is trussed for boiling
wrap it in a clean white Toured cloth
and put it into a stewpan. Cover it
well with hot water, bring it gradually
to boil and skim it as the scum rises;
then let it simmer as slowly az pos
sible; when done put it on hot dish.
remove the skewers and pour OVER 1t
little parsley and butter saucs. A
large fowl will take an hour TO cock,
Chicago Daily News.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
Annual Production Of Rubber,

IT has been estimated that the ap-
proximate total production of rubber
annually is $1,000 tons. Of this amount
21,0O0 tons are taken by the United
States and Canada, 81 900 by the United
Kingdom and 1880 by the rest of Eu-
rope. The Amazon district produces
$4,000 tons, and East and West Africa
$4,000 tons; parts of South America
other than the Amazon district, $500
tons.--Scientific American.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
She HitIt.

"Ms'ala,' said the tramp, hoping TO
strike sympathetic chord in the
woman's breast, 81 was bred in old
Kentucky"
"Breadl' snapped the busy house
wife. Sand loafed, I presume, in a
good many other states. "--Philadsl
phia Bulletin.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
How to Broil n Fish.

Fish should never be turned while
broiling. Put the inside next to the
Goals and allow il to cook until thor
sughly done. Then turn and just
brown the skin side, taking care that
IL does not scorch.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14

Yorkrode-Old Hen Peck is the hap.
piest man in town.
Towson has his wife left him?
"No. But her shirt waists are toe
small for him, and he doesn't have to
wear the old nes."-Baltimore Amer.
lean
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14

Blinks-What's the matter, old chap?
i haven't seen you at the club sinct
your wife got divorce.
Jinks--Oh, you'll see me back again
before long. I'm engaged to be mar
ried again.-Chicago Daily News.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
Stated Peanut. Are All Right.

salteo peanuts are frequently used
In place of the almonds, and are even
less expensive. Shell, put in the oven
and bake until the ska cracks; brush
of thoroughly and then proceed as
with the almonds.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
His Latest Book.

Towne-Wright's first book was very
successful. He's very proud of it,
hear
Browne--Ah, but he's prouder Of his
latest book.
"Oh, has he written another?"
mo; but his first book has enabled
him to acquire another, which is quite
new to him. It's bank book. "--Phils
delphia Press
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-14
The Settee's Story
BY Katherine Birdsall.

&++++<<++++++++++++++++<+{
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-09-29
Illegal sale OF oleomar-
inc
215

OleomaIgarine confiscated, 655% lbs.
Note particularly The difference Ill the
amount Of fines collected for violation OF
the oleomargaTine and vinegar laws
Under the old regime vinegar rnanufac-
turers were permitted to convert white
wine vinegar costing three or four cents
per gallon, into imitation cider vinegar
by coloring it with burnt sugar and add
ing a little boiled down apple juice This
imitation was sold at cider vinegar prices
and palmed off onto customers as genuine
cider vinegar. 1t has been admitted by
some Of the old officials of the depart
ment and also some Of the vinegar manu-
facturers that this was done pursuant TO
an understanding between one Of the de-
partment officials and some Of the manu-,
facturers.
Very soon after it was shown that John
Lind was elected governor the official
referred to notified manufacturers that
the arrangement was at an end
Under Gov. Ldnds administration the
law has been strictly enforced and imita-
ton cider vinegar in our markets is a
very rare exception instead of the rule
as formerly.
The battle against oleomargaIdne col
ored in semblance Of genuine butter and
against renovated or process butter not
properly branded, has been waged I'M
ceasingly. not only as a duty. but as
matter OF protection to the genuine dairy
interests of the state.
Note the very large increase in the
amount of fines collected for violation of
the oleomargarine law-$215 under the old,
against 5000 under the present adnlinis-
tration. The law requiring adulterated
lard and lard substitute to be properly
branded does not appear to have been
enforced at all until taken up by the
present commissioner, and twenty con-
victiens secured and $500 collected in fines.
The same thing is true as to adulterated
honey, >iellies and spfces.s[
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-09-29
I nc Hne-up Was
ST Thomas
Manchester.
brooklyn Jockey Club wfnner..

NEW YORK, Sept, 28.-scratches all
but ruined 1,i the card at Gravesend today
and the extra days racing offered BY
the Brooklyn Jockey club did not furnish
a very high quality of sport. Three IA
Yorttes were successful, but Elizabeth
M. who romped in in the second race
only the big spectators profted. At i'i a
meeting of the Jockey club today Jockey
Results: . .
- d4rs y, race, hurdle handicap, one and a
SECOND. Eineer third. Time, $50 2-5
second race, about. six furlongs-Eliza-
beth M won. Scurry second The Puritan
third. Time, ITO 10
Third race, mile and seventy yards
selling-Dolando won. King Barleycorn
SECOND, Trillo third. Time, i:46
Fourth race, about six flriongs-Tar-
Time, lip 2-5.
Fifth race, one and one-siA teenth miles
third. Time, 1:47 as ---'
Sixth race, five and a half furlongs,
sefllng-Snark won.y Millionaire second
Quite Right third. Time. 1909,
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-09-29
MAY PLAY SECOND GAME.
WRsecans May Get a Run From the
Local ClOthiers.

Arrangements were made yesterday to
have, the Waseca ball club remain over
Monday and play a second game with
the Lennon & Gibbons team at Licking
ton park. Denzer will pitch the game
tomorrow afternoon and 1t is proba ble
that Patterson will be secured to do the
tWirling on Monday
Ned Egan, who has played against
the Wasecas in other towns over the
of the fastest amateur teams in the busi-
ness, HOLLAND, one of the five colored
and in addition is good with the stick.
J;oyner, who is at short, ADDS to his abiI-
lty as sharp fielder by his coaching.
of the fog horn variety
IT The ,s, locals antiieeipate a hard struggle
attention has been paid to the infieM.
Cameron will be at short. He is playing
In fine form this season and has always
given a good account Of himself in an
1nfield position. Hanson, who played
with the Minneapolis Brewers, will prob
ably be at third, and if he cannot be
secured Delaney will be sent to that
sack. The game tomorrow will be called
at $3.50 o'clock.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-09-29
TURNOUT OF FINE RIGS.
1t Is Looked for in This Afternoons
Parade.


Parade.
A splendid display Of fine rigs is prom
ised for this afternoon. when the parade
of the Capital City Driving club begins,
a 1 o'clock
The assembling point will be Rice Park,
and the route is from st. Peter to- Sixth,
down Sixth to Smith Park, countermarch-
ing on Sixth to Summit, and out the
speedway.
The invita- ton to participate in the
parade has been general The speeding
and five other divisions will follow.
The formation Of the parade will be as
follows: First division, squad of mount
ed police; Minnesota State band, Mayor
Smith, President Schiffmann, of the coun-
Gil; President H. NJ Stocking, of the
council; NJ N. Goss, marshall; form on
Franklin street south of Fifth, right rest
ing on Fifth.
Second Divlsion-single and double bike
speed wagons; DR.. E. H. Whitcomb, mar
shall; form on Franklin north of Fifth.
high speed wagons; Gen. George G. Lam
bert marshal; form on Washington street
south of Fifth.
Fourth Division-Stanhopes and tan
dems, Brooks Henderson marshal; form
on Washington street north of Fifth
Fifth Division-Single and double traps
Col. Hawthorne marshal; form on Mar
ket street south of Fifth.
Sixth Division-TWo-wheele Victorias
unicorns, single and double Victorias
drags and tallyhos, Rukard Hurd mar
shall; form on Market street north of
Fifth
The plan of countermarching on Sixth
way ct the street cars Chief Marshal