The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-09-03

San Francisco Argonaut.
Down with the Gutierrez Dios Lib
ertad: Down with the Gutierrez rascals!
Viva Fulane TalP'
Thus >roared the mob-at least the
larger half of it-from one side the Plaza
mayor. From the other came the an
swering yell:
Down with Fulano Tai! For God
and Liberty! Vivian los Gutierrez
Then they fell upon one another. They
fired leaden pellets into each others
hides-for the love of liberty. They jab-
bed bayonets into each others bodies
for the love of God. And with musket-
butts they dashed out each others fool
ish brains-for the love of Gutierrez,
Fulano v Tai. And presently there were
more of the Fulano Y Tai men than there
were of the faction of Gutierrez, and
these, being of a sudden convinced that
God was on the side of the larger, deter
mined to look out for their own liberty.
So they incontinently took to their heels.
Then there was great shout. The re-
manning moiety of the mob hurled their
greasy caps into the air. The Gen
eralissimo Of the Patriotic Forces" as he
called himself Don Fulano Y Tai, tossed
into the air his plumed shake. The mob
roared APPROVAL. The Generalissimo Flu
y
vate, fell upon his neck, called him
Observation-Disclosures" and kissed him. The
mob melted into tears. Each man seized
his neighbor and imprinted malodorous
kisses upon his lips. When they had re-
covered breath-some little time after
they roared again:
'Dios y Libertad Long live Fulano y
Tai, the savior of his country!'
The generalissimo raised his glittering
HrO caiH hn
there is still work to do. We must
storm the governmental palace"
"Aye!"
eve must hang Gutierrez
"Aye!'
''And we must seize the mint!'
Like a mighty wave the mob swept out
of the Plaza Mayor, carrying their lead
er before them like cork.
In little while the public buildings
were in their hands. In a little while
longer Gutierrez was killed, his body care
fully mangled, and then drawn by rope
to the top of the highest steeple of the
grand cathedral. Then the bells rang
forth a paean, the priests chanted
TIE Deum. For was not the country free?
and was not Fulano y Tai proclaimed
president? OF a surety, yes.
And then the shopkeepers took their
shutters down.
On the Plaza Mayor the next morning
there were many bodies. They had been
patriots, doubtless, but they had got on
the wrong side Therefore they were car
rion, and to be cordially despised of all
good F'ulano men.
But they looked unpleasant. Their
glazed eyes stared at you with disagree
able f1xity. The lips of their gaping
wounds had a dumb eloquence which
worked upon the feelings. The mob had
gathered to despoil them; it ended by
plying them.
''Ah, Dios!" said a woman, ''why not
bury them, too, as well as our own OF
last night?'
''True, true" said the mob. 'an excel
lent idea. We will bury them"
Herr Won Grelk uttered his first word
since the revolution began: AYE, aye.
nefghbers," said he, tbs the Christian
thing to do Per ell amor de Dios, let US
bury them!
Herr Won Grelk was coffinmaker.
1t is needless to say that he was Ger
man. He was an undertaken, and
thriving one. And he had many collins
always ready. For in the pleasant Span
ish-American countries to the south of US
there is often need of collins And of
many collins. And of collins about the
fit of which there is little heed. For, look
you. there are many things which cause
sudden death. Earthquakes, sun-strokes,
bighwaymen. And once in while pa
trIot liberates the country. And then
there is need Of many collins.
So Herr Won Gre1k advocated the bury
ing of the unpleasant corpses.
The mob approved Of Herr Won Grelk,
and called him brother" And Herr Won
Grelk WINGED, but said nothing. For they
were good customers. So the mob carried
out ccfins. And 1t carried out more
cotfins And when a patriot could not
be squeezed into his coffin, they would
short t.me Herr Won GreIk had no more
collins.
Then he spoke my brothers." said
he. 1--WE have done Christian thing
True" assented the mob.
Eve have 5ecently inferred our enemy
Now, who is to pay?"
"Poy!" The mob was amused-mobs
have keen sense Of honor. PAY Quo
hombre! Is net Herr Won Grelk a pa
triot?"
Herr ven Grelk admitted that he was.
did Herr Won Grelk wish = occupy
one OF his own coffins?''
Herr ven CreHk could think OF nothing
more unnecessary to his happiness.
The mob was grimly humorous: If the
SenCr Won Grelk should change his mind
at any time, they would ne happy
The SeaSr Won Grelk never changed His
mind. He had hut jestei when he sp: Ike
CT pay.
In that caso thsy would kiss the Aands