, 1900-02-05

fishes! What would the govern
or of South Carolina do when he was
by his brother Of North Caro-
lima? Despite the fact hat the Out
look is the authority for the statement,
l think we may well believe that the
governor of South Carolina vetoed it
when it came into his august presence.
But | would call his honor's attention
to the action of the Ohio lawmakers in
1898 as wortny of imitation, even II he
had to issue a special message recon-
mending it. They defeated the Adams
bill legalizing the weakening Of whis-
ky with water.
An illustration of one of the TRACE
dies of our lawmaking is the effort of
the Pennsylvania miners, extending
over years, to get a law prohibiting the
payment of wages in store orders. They
got such a law through a year or so
ago. But in some committee, or in en-
crossing, the words ION demand" were
inserted, so that the law reads: "All
wages shall be paid IN cash on de-
mand." If a miner demands his wages
in cash he is laid off the next week.
The insertion of those two little words
has rendered the law utterly useless.
l. is a real tragedy.
A courageous Indiana legislator pro-
poses to fine a baggageman every time
he throws a piece of baggage from the
car down to the platform instead of
gently transferring it to a truck only
the car.
The lawmakers of Texas have made
a bid for Il foreign travel by brave
ly passing a resolution that the skies
Of Texas are bluer than those of Italy.
1t made no difference that perhaps
none of them had visited Italy; OF
course, everything about Texas is bet
ter than anything anywhere else, even
unto the skies.
A righteous Tennessee senator would
forbid any person to linger or loiter
VII an oliSVl, allCs Iouu, vi idIC III luC
vicinity of any young ladies' boarding
school. Neither shall any one try to
communicate secretly with the inmates
of such institution. nor loaf. lurk, and
loiter where the inmates of such in
stitution are likely to be found" The
last clause is delicious.
Deponent sayeth not whether this
loaf, Turk and loiter' bill was passed,
but the wicked Virginia senate of 1898
defeated Senator McCrane's anti-firt-
ing bill by "a to 9.
Rhode Island has recently gotten In
to a peck of trouble on social uestions.
One of the courts has just passed on
an ambiguous law of some fifty years
ago, according to which there has not
been a legal marriage in that state in
half a century.
Down in Louisville in the winter OF
1898 there was a terrible hubbub which
threatened to change the whole course
Of politics. Some good people got at
ter the grand jury about the open sa-
looms and gambling houses. One OF
their members fortunately recollected q
law introduced by a country member,
and enacted ome time previously
which prohibited the keeping, of red
birds, martins, or other void sons
birds in cages, and fined the offenders
OF course, this had never been enforc-
ed, but there it was on the statute
books. So they called the chief Of pc.
lice. Jacob Haeger, and sternly de.
handed to know why he had not enforc.
ed the red-bird law. Chief Haeger was
new, and he thought this meant bust.
ness. By noon the next day 400 citi.
zens had been ordered to let their red
birds 90 OIL pay the fine. The clamoI
became so great that it threatened tC
disrupt the political party who had
control Of the town. Its enforcement
was suspended, and of course those who
were willing to condone the lack oil
enforcement of one law could not Wig.
orously remand the enforcement OF
the law against faro banks, crap games
p%oolrooms, and brothels.
Minnesota's legislators presumably
duly considered the phrenology bills
submitted to them by one Of the honor
ables. One provided for a state phre-
nologist, with an assistant, who should
examine not less than 1000 heads in
year.
Missouri would prevent It's people
from eating green watermelons by ap-
pointing a watermelon inspector, and
the bill was only defeated when a ven
erable member moved that the inspec-
tors title should be The Oficial Plug
ger, Muncher, and faster OF the State
OF Missouri" And also the same leg
i~slature sent to engrossment a bill pre-
venting card playing on the first day oil
the week.
An honorable at Albany wanted to
have an inspector Of horse shoeing,
and another to make chiropody a pro-
fession with a license, and a third
would revoke the license of teachers
who used tobacco. In Massachusetts
Representative Teamoh would prohib-
it hens and roosters from wearing
trousers.
George Barbe, Mendoza, Va, says:
Nothing did me go much good A. KO-