The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-04-08

collie, with his hair all matted and his
muddy feet leaving nasty-iooking tracks on
the library rugs. l spoke to them rather
sharply. and ordered Jawkius to kick the
dog out
But he's lost. papa" said my eldest.
We'll. let him stay lost | responded.
rather gruffly.
Il 'speck somebody nawfub sorry to
+. lose him. said Jack, my FIVE year-old.
was busy with my essay on The Milk
OF Human Kindness so when Jawkins
! tJawkins IS our general factotum-my
wife calls him the butler) dragged the
dog out of my sight forgot him. II seems
the children considered the dog as treas,
IRE troye, and they took him out and lock-
ed him in the stable. feeding him expensive
steaks, which they found in the larder lie
disturbed my rest that night with his
mournful bowling, and early in the morn
ing | went down, opened the stable door,
and turned him loose.
Unfortunately, the treatment accorded
that dog by my children had been so gem
erous that the dog had sense enough not to
stay lost For days he continued to hang
around my place, making life miserable To-
me. and my wife watched my cheeks grow
SaiiOW ana my appetite diminishing WIN
unconcealed alarm.
1t was rather a relief therefore. when
on the fourth day she brought me copy
Of the News" and pointed triumphantly TO
the following advertisement:
FoUND-A Scotch collie dog: evidently of fine
breeding. The dog has been at our house
for four days. Owner can regain possession OF
the animal by applying in person. and proving
property. No questions asked. Apply after
a. IN. a 6qs y, Delaware
Thanks, my dear I said gratefully;
do rou think that will get rid of him.
'sSot doubt of it," said my wife.
Next morning. having finished a good
breakfast and being just settled down TO
reading chapter twelve in Tupper's Moral
Philosophy, there was a ring at the front
doorbell. and Jawkins said:
"A gent TO see you, sir.
Show him up l replied, laying my
book down with sign.
The individual who presented himself
and calmly took seat in my new Morris
chair. smirked and said:
Il am the Rev. Theophilus JubeS. of the
Third Theosophical Church. ! called in re-
gard to the following"
From his greasy garments he drew a
dirty copy of the News" and pointed with
chubby forefinger to the advertisement
inserted BY my wife.
l.
He is now tied up in the stable. Jawkins,
show this gentleman his dog.
Yes, SIR said Jawkins, leading the
Theosophist out.
In a moment he returned. Beg pardon, |
sir. but there's three gents and a lady !
waiting to see you. sir"
Indeed said L; show them up-one at |
a time, Jawkins
The first visitor. clad in blue oyeralls |
and carrying an odor of stale fish about |
his person. came besitatingiy in. looked |
with senile smile at the books on the |
shelves, blushed a little as his eyes |
lighted on full-length statuette OF Psyche. |
and said;
81 called about that dawg."
. "oh, yes l replied. Very sorry. but |
the dog turns out to be the property of a /
minister. He is out in my stable getting |
him now"
We'll, Neutrality-suspicious. reck- |
on, slowly drawfed my acquaintance. Il |
that-ad-last-night. I-live-out- |
at Broad-Ribple ost-him-last-week !
Taint-no-minister's dawg."
What color was your dog?" l asked |
him.
e-grey-Ireckon," was the re-
ply.
Well, I'm sorry. but this can't be your |
dog. for he's black and TAM"
Wall" he replied. I-guess-then-
faint mine. Good-day-sir.'
Good day" l rejoined. shortly.
But still he fingered,
Pardon me- l said, There are others |
waiting to see me-
"Yes-I-know. -only-you- |
-'tcost-me-10-cents- in |
here - from = Broad : Ripple m 1
''Jawkins," I shouted, show the next |
man in
The next man was a colored man, who |
was evidently employed in the whitewash- |
ing business. He was white everywhere !
except on his skin, and he powdered lime !
all over my apartment.
"Jes' called t see bout that dorg. mis-
ter he explained. with a grin.
Dogs gone" l grunted.
NO stree; no he amt l seed that air
a-wrestling with the dorg.
and done tole i'm he'd better drap him,
case he's mine. n the dorg's out there
awaiting fer me now"
We'll, hang it all, go out and get him.
then, don't care who gets him. SO long
as some of you take him away"
"Al right, sir; that dorg cert'nly am
mine, n Ise gwine to have i'm.
Then 4 young lady with an abbreviated
skirt and an affected manner sidled into
my room.
Thank you so much, she giggled, "for
my Fido. You know | lost
him while l was shopping in the BaIti-
mere store last Friday. Dear little fell
low. l do hope you've fed him. l know
he won't eat meat We always give HIM
hot bread and milk. I'd like to pay You
for your trouble. and how much did the
cost. l suppose I'll have
10 pay that
Miss" I said. there's some mistake.
the dog I've advertised is not named
Fido. | don't know what his name is.
but it's not Fido As for feeding him
bread and milk, this dog has eaten 50
worth of porterhouse steak
We'll, do think the police ought to get
after these people who put misleading ad
in the papers. | suppose
they're too busy arresting gamblers TO
pay any attention 10 these confidence men;
il my brother were here he'd show you
how to
"Jawkins." 1 shouted. 'show the lady
out"
Beg pardon, sir" said Jawkins, with
suspicion of a smile. There's seven boys
Of varying ages. shout thirty-six men.
nine women. and a policeman waiting in
the front yard to see you. sir. l believe
it's in regard to an advertisement"
20. Lord I CALCULATED. Show up the
most respectable. Jawkns." .
1t was a middle-aged woman OF hard
ysage that came in, and took the most
chair in the place.
Would you mind throwing that nasty
cigar down. she said looking at me from {
,ver her spectacles. Il can't abide smoke l
Certainly madam" l said throwing !