The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-11-24
THE TURKEY THAT WOULDN'T
BE BOILED.

Now at is Gums t. Thanksgivin' an I see
all tn fatted fowls,
It brings my mind a winter L spent
whar tn norther bowls.
Twas tn winter 'S3, sir, was herdin
A tryin' t earn a Twin in traps an spurs
whewi That war tn fercest winter ever
I dared. pull through.
An I swore if wasn't frozen, in tn
spring [ begin anew
We was hitched along in November alone
on Mulberry bend,
We hadn't been thar fortnight till III
swear t you, my friend,
TIL mercury went t forty, or fifty or
Below tn line called freezin'; gee, it was
cold to us chaps.
Why. III cattle friz up solid, stood on thar
In groups aroun on TIL prairie like perta-
tiers stuck on pegs.
An tn snow commenced a fallin' an fell
fer week, / guess
couple Nv feet or less
We wasn't afraid q starvin', we'd bacon
An We ate o thet blasted bacon till we
couldn't eat it no more.
An all this time we was savin' turkey
we'd had fer a spell
A fat min up fer Thanksgivin' our menoo
A part Nv meal we fed him an all
o tn scraps Nv rind.
we cooped him up by tn oven, tn warm
est place We could find.
banked on tn turk;
When he see US eatin' our bacon he'd
cock his head with jerk.
Airy Thanksgivin' morning, before tn
we'd sentenced turk t tn biler. tn price
We'd picked him. plucked him, an dress
ed him, tn Chinee cook took tn job.
T. bile him till he was tender. tender as
TIL bilin' commenced at sun up, we stood
aroun. in ring
Watohin' tn steam frum tn biler, ready
/ sit an begin.
Then when III sun got above us we
An sat right down t tn table ready t
work on tn beast.
TIL Chinee brought him on steamin', put
him in front Nv Hank Wade,
Who once a butcher. T. m thinlxin'
knew how t handle blade.
Hank looked at tn turk fer mint, his
bowie poised in tn air.
Nv steel through III s air. -'-''7--
Tn turk was tough as a burro, tn blade
we took him BACK back UT "a s bier an held
down tn lid right tight,
Billed him again in arrest an brought him
again t. Wade.
Who whet his knife on his bootleg.
knife NV very best grade.
Again he stabbed at tn turkey, twas
We took him back t tn biler t steam an
bile him more.
We got an axe from tn packer an sharp
ened it up right keen,
But 1t wouldn't scratch that turkeV-had
tn toughest hide I've seen.
We took that turk [ tn biler fer dozen
An billed him enough 1 reckon L tender
our razor straps.
Along when TIL sun was sinkin' we took
up belts a notch
An fired tn cook through tn Winder-
he'd made such terrible botch
We all went back L our bacon a-cussin'
our measly luck
We dOwned meal an bacon glad L
eat any ole truck.
We threw tn turk through tn winder. out
there along with tn cook
Then Murphy back by tn oven yelled fer
US all L cum look.
What Eyer think he dislxivered innocent
like in tn coop2
half empty box NV pellets the size o. TIN
shot We shoot.
tn turkey'd ate half tn pellets long with
tn rest his food.
An that's TIL reason tn bilin' wouldn't
make him tender an good.
Yer say yer don't see tn rea son, why it, s
plain plain can be:
Those pills was 50 pink an temptin' an
that's TIL reason Yer see
TIL bilin simply useless, tn turk
as tough as sim
He'd taken those liver. pellets till thar
want no bile in him.
PHIL EASTMAN