Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1900-02-01
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Ii il reported that Il few evenings
ago a dapper young man called on his
best girl, living i'm the LIST ward,t to spend
the evening. When about to return
home the conversation chanced to turn
to art, aud the young lady said that he
reminded her of the Venus de Mi 10,
~whereupon the young nan was delight
ed, thinking il was his symmetrical
form to which she alluded. When he
arrived home he consulted an encyclo-
pedia and learned that the Venus de
Milo had no arms. He went down
cellar and butted his head against u
bar of soft soap.
Here is what an editor says who has
been through the mill:
"A child il born the doctor in attend
ance gets so, the editor notes it and
gets o: il il christened, the minister gets
"a, the editor writes it up and gets 90:
il il marries the minister gets another
fee, the editor gets n piece Of cake or 600
i'm the course of time il dies, the doctor
gets $5 or $40, the minister gets another
"a. the undertaken gets $25 to 800,
the editor publishes il and receives O00O
and the privilege of running a free card
OF thanks.
On Friday afternoon the residence OF
Marshall NJ. Parkhill in Morton town
ship was totally destroyed by fire. No
one was ut home ut the time, Mr. Park
hill having come to Webster on business
while his wife was visiting her sister
who resides nearby. The supposition
il that the straw burning stove was re-
sl,unsihle in soma manner for the fire.
An the household furniture aud 80
bushels OF corn were totally destroyed.
No insurance. Ii is quite u hardship to
be- rendered homele,s at this season,
but Marshall takes rhe matter philos-
ophically aud declares he will rebuild
at ones
Mrs, Aasp Bake, who resides with
her daughter Mrs. Ole Hanse. met with
a severe and probably fatal accident
| Monday night. The old lady-she Ia 81
years OF agp-had been out doors aud
in re-pntpring the house made n mistake
i'm the doors aud fell down the cellar
| stairs breaking her lett arm aud infiict-
| ing other painful injuries. On account
| of her age il was thought she could not
recover but she is reported somewhat
improved with the chances III her iavor-
Mrs. Bake IL the mother OF Mrs. aanse
Mrs. John 4. Ray OF this city, Mrs.
| Nelson and Jas. Bake of Liberty Twp.
and John Bake oil Elbow Lake, MINI.
| The latter gentleman arrived Wednes-
| day morning IN response to a telegram
| informing him OF his m others condition
A Herman Prieb OF Morton town
| ship was leaving the city Tor home
Monday evening he met with a serious
| accident at the east railroad crossing.
| The approach of an incoming freight
| train caused him to hasten his horses
across the track, but in some manner
| the "rpach" Of his wagon broke or be.
| come disconnected allowing ~the'hounds'
| To fall, which. catching under the rail,
| tilted tn. wagon violently mp. throwing
| Mr.. Prirb forward as lar ~ his horses,
heads. H.. staggered Ia hts feet, secured
his hor - and made his way 10 a
nearby house Tor assistance. Hr. Pea
| body was summoned aud FOUND his ribs
we're broken aud his body badly bruised
Herman ia heavy mai aud " ~ a
wonder with such "a toss ami ihll ~ ne
vot that his injuries were nol lar worse.
He IL resting easy and will r-covrr
The drunkard Furnishes his children
for his W crimes. Insanity idtocy
moral ~depravi:y, hysteria, and epilepsy
are only too frequently the lot OF the
| offspring Of a drunken father.