davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
"A LITTLE HUMOR NOW AND
THEN.r

Anent the recent growing troubles OF
the Faith Curists. without aspiring to
the distinguished honor of being the
father of n sect: denying the wish to
establish club, society or religious
order, 1t is not out of place to sug-
gest that laughter is good for dyspep-
sia. 1t might be prescribed for the dis
position but for the fact that diseases
of that portion of ones makeup are
generally chronic.
Due regard Is had for victims OF
Obesity, who should not overlook the
moss-covered and iron bound adage,
Laugh and grow fat" Since such
persons are already fat. there can be
no danger of harming them.
But seriously, and one should be Sc
rious when he laughs, good object
should be selected at which to laugh.
Tradition points out great riots aris-
ing from simply Laughing at the
other fellow" Who the fellow was
and what the joke was amounted to
little at the Coroner's inquest that fol-
lowed. But these are but incidents and
an exceptional case of abuse of q good
thing.
One should judiciously follow the
manner of the poet who Smiled and the
world smiled with him; who "weeped
and he wceped alone" That was right
and as it should be. That fellow evil
IDENTIFY smiled out of the right side OF
his mouth. We often hear of people
laughing on the wrong side of their
mouths. This trouble is. however.
chiefly confined to boys.
So. the world wags along. better for
laugh. Amongst men, almost daily,
and with the utmost seriousness, some
one will ask another to take n Smile
with him. 1t shows a proper appre-
citation of the Goddess of NIirth, be-
sides a disposition to absorb every
thing in sight-a most amusing and
laughable spectacle.
One never hears anything but good
of laughter. while in almost every
able-bodied, well-developed novel one
reads Of a "smile stealing across the
heroines lovely face" No such accu-
sation is ever brought against laugh
'Si. 10 Oiic opJcClioiliDle tTttlt is &c
peel" Anybody will do this in the
sunshine, and it is necessary to have
present the bright sunshine of n dis
position to create "peels of laughter"
Let us have 1t whether 1t "peels."
rolls" becomes "boisterous," "rol-
licking" Jolly" or hilarious: 1t is a
good thing to have around the house
to keep the disposition from Wrapping.
And so "a little humor now and then
is relished by the wisest men,"
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
-. JUST a -.
Days MORE .

To accommodate n considerable num-
Der of. people who have asked for a few
of treatment ut reduced rates have de-
of treatment at reduced rates have de-
tcrmincd to extend the time to SEPT.
%. 1900 POSITIVELY NO ONE AC-
CEPTED AT THESE REDUCED RATES
AFTER THAT DATE. The coming
two or three months are probably
tho best IN the year for treatment, being
free from the extreme heat of summer
and the cold and SHOWS OF winter. For
this reason l want as many Catarrh
sufferers as possible to begin my treat
ment now. and as an induccmcnt / AM
OFFERING TREATMENT AT VERY
LITTLE OVER HALE MY USUAL
PRICES. PROVIDED YOU BEGIN Be
FORE SEPTEMBER 18th. Can You az
ford to neglect this opportunity? WILL
YOU LET CATARRH DESTROY YOUR
HEALTH WHEN YOU CAN BE CUR
ED ON SUCH FAVORABLE TERMS?
VIII you wait until the cold of winter
has aggravated Your case and then be
treated at double the cost? ONE
MONTHS TREATMENT NOW VIII.
DO AS MUCH GOOD AS TWO MONTHS
IN WINTER. Even if you do not want
TO begin treatment now call and have
talk with me. Consultation free.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16

cannot be called a heroic climax, how
ever stronglyithe spectacle of this stern
old man. fleeing from his country,
where for more than three score years
and ten he has lived life of toll. haz-
ard triumph and defeat, may appeal
to the sympathies.
Kruger, however, knew that England
would show him no mercy. He might
help his countrymen to fight; he could
not help them to surrender. Any other
man could get better terms from Eng
land than he. Had he been captured
it would have meant st. Helena for
the rest of his natural life. That he
should have shrunk from such q fate,
or that he should have deprived his
enemies OF the satisfaction of inlict-
ing it upon him, was natural. Kruger
free will always be a thorn in the side
of the nation that has robbed him of
his country and his country of its
freedom. Surely he is entitled to the
melancholy satisfaction of it.
His resignation of the Presidency and
his flight from the country are more
important for their moral effect than
was the capture of Pretoria. His own
people and the world will understand
from 1t that he considers the cause of
the Beers hopeless. at least for the
present. The war; as war between
governments. has practically ended.
But Kruger kept his word; the cost of
England's triumph has shocked the
civilized world.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
CONSUMPTION OF COTTON BY
SOUTHERN MILLS.

The South is going to take the lead
III cotton manufactures. and that with
in very few years 1t has more than
trebled it's consumption of cotton since
1890, While the North has not doubled
Its consumption within the same
period. Ten years ago the mills of the
North consumed three and a half times
as much cotton as the mills of the
South; during the year ending August
31st last the mills of the North con-
sumed only about one and quarter
times as much cotton as the mills of
the South. at the present relative
ratio of increase the mills of the South
will consume as much cotton as their
Northern rivals during the year ending
August 31st, 1904. The detailed con-
sumption of cotton by Northern and
Southern mills for the decade just end
ed is interesting:
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16

The valued Petersburg Index-Appeal
is still unhappy over Mr.. Bryan's OK
PLANTATION of his advocacy of the ratin-
cation by the Senate of the Paris
treaty. It does not remember that
there was uneasiness at the prospect
that The treaty would be rejected, and
ii thinks "Mr. Bryan was buncoed just
as Senator Wellington was" The In
deX-Appeai passes from the realm Of
serious discussion to that of the fes-
live Joker Had Mr.. Bryan favored
the ratification of the treaty by reason
of. pledge that was subsequently dis
regarded he would not have been so
poor a politician or 50 poor citizen
as to have remained silent touching 1t.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16

1t is to be borne in mind that these
figures for Northern mills represent
not the cotton actually consumed. but
the cotton purchased; the figures for
Southern mills represent actual con-
sumption. How this increase in con-
sumption was brought about Is evil
denced by the erection of new mills
In 1890 there were in the South only
1886 cotton mills. The number of new
mills erected for the succeeding years
was as follows: 1891, a 1892, 16: 1893
13; 1894. II; 1895. AZ; 1896, 40; 1897. Z;
1898, 8: 1899. So; 1900. 113 This gives
327 new mills built in the last ten
years. and total OF 663 mills new and
old. The number of spindles last year
was for the South 1852, O92; this year
it is 6627,163. a gain OF 1,315.O71. The
consumption OF cotton per spindle was
greater for the past year than for any
year since 1S94-95.
If no disaster shall overtake South
ern cotton mills there is every indica-
tion that by the end of the first decade
of the new century they will dominate
the worlds markets in cottons.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
Nm Bf5F0fee II tfvH E SARCASM.

AS Mark Twain would say, Mr. Nc
Kinley. in his letter of acceptance, at
tempted TO do some sarcasms."
FIR. Mckinley is not as happy in his
sarcasms as Tom Reid; the knack of it
seldom goes with an irresistible ten
dency to proliXity and prosiness. Here
is one of Mr.. McKinleys unfortunate
sarcasms in his letter of acceptance:
The Republican party doesn't have
to assert its devotion TO the Declara-
ton OF Independence"
Doesn't 1t. indeed? Mr. Mckinley, of
course. meant that its past record es-
tablishes its devotion to that document.
Might 1t not come to pass, however,
Gin the course of human events" that
the Republican party would need to
assert it's devotion TO the Declare ton
OF Independence" as Il warning to men
calling themselves Republicans?
Elsewhere on this page is given a
symposium of utterances of prominent
Republican orators and newspapers
touching the Declaration OF Indepen-
dence. We believe that any impartial
reader of these opinions will conclude
that it is high time the Republican
party was asserting its devotion TO the
Declaration of Independence, that Re-
publican leaders may be estoppcd from
preaching its Republication among the
American people
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
CONFINEMENT.

One OF the most astonishing things in
life is the strenuous resistance people
make against being pleased. Turn
where one will and it is the rarest
thing that real open-hearted avowal
OF entire satisfaction can be heard.
A man will accept. receive or own a
thing, even admit to himself its use
fulness or necessity to him, and yet
will manfully condemn 1t. TO say that
such is human would be to profane
what is made in the image of God. To
what every merchant. professional man
and other people In public life will tell
you is true. And yet, the man would
not do without the thing of which he
complains, is really attached to it and
in his inner soul knows he is a bear
and an migrate.
This is true as to newspapers. clothes,
houses. friends, hats, employees. trains,
carriages and most anything. Instead
of spontaneously speaking from his
heart that the object of condemnation
is far better than he deserves, one will
always hear him say: "Oh, we'll, it
does fairly we'll"
1t is not conceit; 1t is not a too ex-
allied opinion of ones deserts; it is not
pessimism; it is not billiousness alto
gether; but it is just a habit-that is
all. And bad habit 1t is.
How much brighter would be the
world IL more commentator OF our
humble efforts were given. A kind
word now and then cheers more per-
sons. and is n sweeter music than a
harp. It is said of the great Robert T..
Lee. and also of the quaint. iron framed
that a word of cheer and ap-
pause. sent them along happy and
buoyed up many a sad disappointment.
So. we are selfish depravers Of others
pleasure and happiness. when the pro-
per need of encouragement is withheld.
Let us be natural and not begrudge
another of what he should have. Let
us be open and manly and the world
will be the better to us. 'Smile and
the world smiles with you: weep and
you weep alone!" Agreeableness and
Dieasantness are their own reward. It
is bread cast upon the waters that
will surely return many fold. The
world is like n mirror. Almost all the
worry we obtain from 1t is reflected
from our own lives. Since we are not
entitled to the earth. let us be satisfied
with what we have, as n just desert.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16

oned labor leaders to the leaders of
organized labor in New York city.
Is this foretaste OF what is in store
for organized labor when "the consent
of the governed" has been eliminated
from our national creed: when 1.-The
doctrines of Hamilton are the text
words of the hour" when n big stand
ing army will be ready to back up the
trust employers of labor. under the
pretext OF maintaining law and order?
The full jail should be substituted for
the full dinner pail' as the slogan of
the Republican appeal to labor.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
WHEN SHALL WE GET OUT OF
CHINA1

Three days ago it was announced
with blare of trumpets that General
Chaffee had been ordered, in pxrsu-
ance of the understanding reached
with Russia. to hold himself In readi-
ness to withdraw the American troops
from Pekin at once. Yesterday the
dispatches told that he was preparing
winter quarters for his troops, having
been allowed to Choose his own tima"
for withdrawing.
Chaffee and the American troops
may be withdrawn from China In a
short time; the chances are ten to one
that they will not be. It has been
three months now since the trouble in
China began. 1t has been more than
two months since Mr.. Mckinley COM
mitted an act of war by the invasion
of Chinese soil. Yet. within that time
there has been no definition of the
American attitude that could be con-
sidered in any sense final. Nobody
could say what we were up to or what
we were after. There have been notes
and announcements in plenty, but
what was settled to-day was unsettled
tn=morroM. there has been neither sta
bility nor continuity in our policy. 1t
has apparently been the product of ac-
cident, the sport of chance.
1t is probable. however. that this
Kaleidoscope shift and change has not
been entirely without purpose. It's
first object doubtless was to apply a
practical test to the American people;
to determine what course would be
popular with them. on the eve of Il
Presidential election. There could be
no serious mistake of policy where
there was no serious policy. In the
next place this continuous change of
front would enable the Administration
to frittcr away the remaining weeks
until the election, which would de-
termine whether it would be worth
while to attempt what was contem-
plated, and when. If the country en-
dorsed him, Mr.. Mckinley would be in
position to play strong hand in
China without hazarding anything at
home. Hence the reports that the
troops will be withdrawn and that they
will not be withdrawn, or that the
whole matter will be Invested of dip
lomatic features and left to General
Chaffcc who is on the ground, as a
practical problem in supplying gov
eminent I'D interim.
AS we have taken occasion 10 point
out repeatedly. there is no indication
of a purpose to get out of China; ii
Mr.. Mckinley is reelected there will
doubtless be a decided indication of Il
purpose to stay. At present the game
is II waiting one.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
THE STATE PRESS.

The Blackstone Courier says the
Democrats will have no trouble in the
Fourth District this year:
"As to the conditions In this. the
Fourth district, none better could be
wished for. The outlook is all that
could be desired. For some time 1t
was not thought the Republicans
would go to the trouble to make
nomination. as their chances for sue
cess were known to be nothing. How
ever. with the desire to control the
patronage of the district in the event
of the election OF Mckinley they
thought it best to go through the form
of making nomination, and this they
will do in few days now
Speaking OF the Eastern Shore De-
velopmcnt Association of Maryland,
the Cape Charles Light advocates
similar organization for Virginia. 1t
says:
1--WE have thousands of acres on the
Eastern Shore that could be made
blossom as the rose. but we have not
the people or the wealth to properly
cultivate it. Don't let 1t be said that
the Eastern Shore of Virginia don't
want any outsiders. Let us initiate
our neighbors in Maryland and form
al association OF our own, or
send representatives to the Maryland
branch. and give them to understand
that our doors stand open. and not
only in hospitality. but in everything
else. Maryland or any other State are
not our peers
The political path OF General Ros-
ser is not being strewn with roses. He
made speech at Wytheville recently
and the Dispatch is unkind enough TO
say:
"Rosser's speech failed to do much
for his party-we mean the party he
belonged to on Monday we could
hardly guess what fold he is in by the
time this paper is printed"
The Salem Times Register quotes
Congressman otey as saying of the
fight in the Ninth district:
"Oh, Rhea will come out all right!
If Bryan comes to Virginia at all he
will probably speak at Wythevillc. to
help stir the good people of that dis
trict UP in behalf Of Judge Rhea, as
the Republicans will make n more des-
peratc effort TO defeat him than any
Democrat in the state for the reason
that Gen. Walker was Chairman of an
Election Committee. which gave him
a sort of national position in his party,
but" added the Major, "Rhea will lay
him on the self for good this time"
The trade of the Philippines Is all
that we want and all that we shall
ever get from them. 1t is in order to
inquire whether that trade could not
have been secured by less costly
means. "-Lynchburg News.
Undoubtedly it's all we want. but
by no means all we are lilily to get
Trouble and the bubonic plague are
prime articles OF Philippine export
The Richmond News INDUCES this
bit of neighborly kindness:
1.-THE Richmond Times says:
The poor expatriated trust has no
friends at all. Here comes Bryan and
kicks the poor thing from pillar to
post. and now Mckinley follows and
kicks 1t back from post to pillar. so
that in total bewilderment the wretch
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
NORFOLK ACADEMY.

FOUNDED IN 1901
HIGH GRADE SCHOOL for boys be-
tween the ages of . and 20.-In all its
work this school meets the requirements
of the most advanced colleges and gives
a thorough preparation for business. Its
certificate admits TO leading colleges.
for in the lower school they are trained
by the same teachers and under the same
system as in the upper
Catalogues at MI the leading book
stores. For personal interview the Prin-
cipal will be found in the School Build
ing on Bank street, after September 18th.
from 10 o. m. TO 1890 p. m. daily.
JOHN +. BLACKWELL, y. NJ,
au11-ll2m Principal.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
REPUBLICAN, LOVE FOR LABOR.

Another instance of the love and soil
citude of the Republican party for the
laborer. as well as n sample of the sort
of government we are giving Porto
Rico. has recently come TO light. AT
San Juan. Porto Rico, over 100 labor
leaders have been thrown into jail. and
every labor organization of the island
has been suppressed by military
authority. The facts came to the pubs
lie through the appeal OF the lmpris-
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
ed trust may wen ask: .where ann /

ed trust may well ask: Where am 1
THE poor trust, has a friend how
ever. and will always have one as long
as the Times continues to be pub
The next time Charleston will see to
1t that there Is an excursion in town
when the census is taken.'-Staunton
News.
Richmond is doubtless already ar
ranging to make census taking time
In 1910 a big Carnival week."-Newport
News Herald.
Oh, let Richmond be; she is hufry
anyway.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
THE REPUBLICAN, PARTY AND THE
DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.

(McKinley's Letter of Acceptance.)
The Republican party doesn't have
TO assert It's devotion to the DeclaTa-
ton of independence.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16

.nens at the rate Of 4 eents
Square. first insertion, each subsequent
insertion 40 cents, or so cents when in
serted Every Other Day. Contractors
are not allowed to exceed their space
or advertise other than their legitimate
business, except by paying especially for
! the same.
4. Reading Notices. Invariably 20 cents per
limo first insertion. Each subsequent in
serticn Is cents.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16

CThe Republican Platform.)
The largest measure of self govern
lnent consistent with their welfare
ana our duties shall be secured to then
(the Filipinos) by law.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
GU. S. Investor, Rep.)

Considerably more than n century
ago certain notable declaration was
made in this country to the effect that
all men are, and ought to be, free and
independent. This is merely a gener-
aliZation of the French school of Vol
taire and the encyclopedias. 1t is a
dictum absolutely lacking foundation
in history, and incapable of syllogstic
Justification. 1t was. however handy
phrase for us to employ when assert
ing our right to break away from the
mother country. 1t suited the eXigen-
ces of our situation in 1875 admirably,
though in itself but Il bit of sublimated
demagogiSm.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
SUMMER lAW LECTURES

UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA.
slet Summer. July to Sept. 1900 Especially holp
ful to begnnors to Candidates for admission to tho
bar; and to young practitioners who have lacked
systemntic instruction. For Catalogue address
IL. y. MINOR, Secretary Charlie teovillc,V va.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16

No employee OF the virginian- Pilot Pub
fishing Company is authorized to contract
any obligations in the name of the com
pany or to make purchases In the name
OF the same. except upon orders signed
by the PRESIDENT OF THE COM
PANY.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
(chicago Times-Herald, Rep)

The Declaration of Independence was
the greatest campaign document that
was ever written but when the colo
NAL representatives. argued the as
sertioN that all men were created
equal. what they meant was that they
were just as good as Englshmen.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
dion. Franklin Move,

UIon. Franklin Mcveagh. Rep)
The constitution or national policy
adopted by thirteen half consolidated.
weak, rescued colonies. glad TO be able
10 call their lives their own. cannot be
expected to hamper the greatest nation
in the world.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
The Phillips Z WeSI School For Gj1S

4i2 FREEMAsoN ST. NoRFoLK. VA.
The fifteenth annual session begins
MONDAY. OCTOBER !. 1900. Thorough
department.. Young children received in
III ma Department; Diplomas awarded
10 graduates, After September LIST appii-
9:3O A. NJ. to u NJ -
CIRCULARS AT BOOK STORES.
Sei5-2w
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16

In order to avoid delays. on account of
personal absence. letters and all commu-
nications for THE V1RG1NIAN-PIDOT
should not be addressed to any individ-
ual connected with the Office. but simply
to THE VIRGIN1AN AND PILOT PUB
FISHING COMPANY.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
abraham Llncoln.)

Now. my countrymen. IL you have
been taught doctrines conflicting with
the great landmarks of the Declara
ton of Independence; if you have list
ened to suggestions which would take
away from it's grandeur and mutilate
the fair symmetry of its proportions:
IL you have been inclined to believe
that all men are not created equal in
those EaIienable rights enumerated by
our chart of liberty. let me entreat
you to come back. Return to the foun-
tain whose waters spring close by the
blood OF the Revolution. Think moth
ing OF me- take no thought for the po-
litical fate of any man whomsoever,
but come back to the truths that are
in the Declaration of independence.
You may do anything with me you
choose. If you will but heed these sa-
cred principles. You may not only de-
feat me for the Senate, but you may
take me and put me to death. While
pretending no indifference TO earthly
honors, I do claim to be actuated in
this contest by something higher than
an anxiety for office. I charge you to
drop every paltry and insignificant
thought for any mans success. 1t is
nothing: am nothing: Judge Douglas
is nothing. But do not destroy that
immortal emblem of humanity-the De-
claration of American independence!
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
OWN. Dudley Foullle, Rep)

The statement found in the Declara-
ton of Independence that all men are
created equal is not true. The state
ment that all governments derive their
just powers from the consent of the
governed is not true. and never has
been. If 1t were true it would result
in anarchy. The Declaration of In
dependence was never intended to be
followed to the letter.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16

HPresident Northup. Rep)
This nation has become a giant who
is no longer content with the nursery
rhymes that were sung around his
cradle.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-09-16
suBScRIPTIoN RATES.:

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