Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1900-03-01
HorRa Trading.

Horse Trading.
''Thet thar hoss es the bes' boss in
this county. He's done more work 'en
emmy two hossss on the country, an he
kin do twice es much emmy Nv 'sm yet.
Thet thar hoss is reg'lar pet. When
he lays back his years that away es
becase he likes yer looks an wants ter
make friends with yer. Hit taint ev'ry
boss thet Will do that Look year, mis-
tur. see! wy he won't even bulge wen
yer shake yer hat in front Nv his eyes.
Hits guide sign he won't shy at things
an see huggooS. An the reason why
be lifts his feet so high is not becase
he's gut tho string halt, but becasr he is
tonsy and ahigh-stepper. All he wants
is leetlo side-boardinR an hO'd make
the finest hoss in de kintry, safe for n
lady ter drive ennywhere, kim an gem
tie. Wy he amt had no corn fur two
months an burned little hay, or else
yer couldn't buy him from mo fur loss
en- one Numbered dollars, but seein' es
it is you, you may have him fer eighty
! dollars an dead loss ter me- NV TWEEN
ty dollars. It's the Gods truth I'm a.
/ tellin' yer. Yer know wouldn't lie
ter yer, fur yer the bes' friend l have
on earth. Sec thet hoss. Ain't he a
| pictur. It's Gods truth I'm = tellin'
yer"
AL this was said to 4 prospective
buyer.
Two minutes later the horseswapper
on being interviewed by \ comradr as
to the success of his trade, said dejAct-
edly, Nav, tha sucker would mt bite
! He wanted boss thet won Id Mt Iun
away an offered him the deadest un
on my string. Wen man gifts offered
a boss thet is es blind os bat, has the
string halt so bad thet be can't walk,
is spawned, CALLED, knock-kneed an
broken-winded, all fur eighty dollars,
wy be don't know wot doggoned good
trade he's missed"
Say, Bill, wot did yer give fur the
hosp"
Ten dollars"
"Sho! Yer got de price leetle too
high. Yer orter hev axcd fifty dollars
an yer would hev mado trade. See?"
/ ttt
4 Glad De Wood Wuz Cut.
i ID" colo win blows
j An n.ps yer nose,
Is Fotch in de wood, you brack man.
Fill de stove full es you can,
An when de heat
4 SO mighty sweet
/ Thaws out yer fingers an yer toes,
You'll thank gracious while it blows
| Dat yer chopped do wood
When do weather Wuz good.
+tt
So LAEy.
BllyThompson was the LATEST man in
Arbutusville. There was no doubt on
that psfpt. 1t was he who went out in
to = pelting rain carrying his hat in hi.
hand because he was too lazy to put ii
on, went to bed with his socks on be
cause after he had undresscd that fal
he was too lazy to finish the job. Fin
ally the citizens grew so tirod of his
chronic ailment that they resolved tt
to take the lmatter in hand and bury
him alive. Accordingly they nabbet
Bill, put him into a coffin and started
with him to the cemetery. On the roat
they met friend of the pseudo corpse
who inquired who it was they wer'
about to bury. On being told it wa
Bill Thompson and that they were 60
ing to bury him because they were tir
ed of supporting him, be offered, IL thel
would set him free, to give = bushel o
corn to help him until be secured WOrl
at something. This was agreed TO and
they were about to open ths coffin wher
a voice from with n said: us it shelled
jedge?" And everyone SwOre softly.
ttt
, Hs looked like = scary muls
When he 1ryt appeared at skuls