Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-11-22


Humorist So and, to His Astonish-
ment, Had a Joke on the Editor.
81 see that Mark Twain has returned
after his long absence abroad" remarked
an old newspaper reporter, but l am
sorry to note that he has changed his
mind about coming south TO lecture.
hoped to have a chance to interview him
and incidentally TO thank him again for
big favor he did me a good many years
ago.
1T was rather an odd experience" the
old reporter went on. Il was young and
green at the time and had just secured
trial job on 4 newspaper in Detroit,
when Mr.. Clemens camS to the city to
deliver lecture. 1t so happeEed that all
our best reporters were off that night on
local murder sensation, and the city ed
itor called me up, very reluctantly, as l
thought, and assigned me to have talk
with the great humorist. | had stepped
out of the office but was still within ear
shot when the night editor came in.
"'Who have you got on the Clemens
interview? | heard him ask.
THAT new fellow the city editor re-
piled.
40 Lordr said the night editor.
. "That brief remark filled me with min
gled emotions, in which wrath, mortihca-
tion and apprehension were present in
about equal quantities. But it also put
me on my mettle and | determined to get
that interview or perish in the attempt.
The city editor had said that he wanted
something about a column long and very
bright and snappy,' and while | was
waiting at the hotel for Mr. Clemens to
return from the opera house where he
was speaking tried to frame In my mind
a series Of suggestive questions.
81 can't say / was particularly success
full, and many a time in after years l
have thought of the folly, not to say cru
city, of sending inexperienced boys on
such errands and expecting anything like
results. However, that's neither here nor
there. The fact is writhed and sweat
blood, and by the time the night clerk
told me that Mr. Clemens had just gone
up on the elevator | was in a condition
bordering on nervous prostration.
'T found the humorist standing before
the fireplace" continued the old reporter,
smoking a brier pipe and attired in
suit of pyjamas. His appearance startled
me, for / didn't dream that he had had
time to undress, and l promptly lost my
few remaining shreds of self possession.
All my questions flew out Of my brain
like scattering covey of quail, and abso-
lutely the only thing could think of ask
ing him was how he liked the town. lie
looked at me quizzically.
Considering that | arrived after
dark he drawled, and was driven direct
to the theater and then direct to the ho-
tel, my impressions are favorable.
think you have very good quality of
nights in Detroit he added, after a
pause; fully equal to the nights | have
encountered anywhere That was cap
ital lead, but was too badly ratified to
take 1t. l stumbled through few idiotic
commonplaces, and realizing evidently
that there was no use wasting any more
fun on such a chump, he answered in
weary monosylables. In few moments
gave up In despair.
"'Now, don't make too much of this
he remarked as | started for the door,
and while the caution was no doubt
prompted by fear that | would write
something phenomenally stupid it had
the effect of putting me suddenly at my
ease. Don't worry about that, Mr..
Clemens | replied; Pm not going to
write anything at all except my resigna-
the story of my assignment. AS | had
by that time fully determined to throw
up my job and was no longer appre-
hensive l suppose l told it easily and
naturally. At any rate, his eyes twin
killed., and when l came to the part about
the night editor he threw back his head
and roared with laughter.
"'Hold onp he exclaimed when he
caught his breath. Well have to turn
ihe tables on that fellow sure! Just sit
iown there with your paper, and III see
whether | can't dictate something.
'I obeyed in sort of daZe, and he be-
gan striding up and down the room,
putting his pipe and running his fingers
through his bushy hair. In half an hour
he had given me column monologuc
lbout his experiences on the train COM
ng In. The road was a notoriously ram
5hackle affair, and he roasted it in his
1appiest vein.
"fNow, you must cut that up into para
yraphs,' he said when he got through,
and sling In q few questions here and
here to make it look dialogy. Then |
hink you'll have about what you want.
ell those other fellows as you go out
at I have gone to bed Those other
.llows' were two reporters from rival
Ieets who had sent up their cards and
ere then cooling their heels in the cor
idor. | tried to thank him, but he cut
ne short, and | went away, walking on
mbient air When | turned in my copy,
he city editor nearly fell out of his chair.
lis astonishment pleased me more than
raise in salary, but | was little dis
ppointed in the demeanor Of the night
1tor. l expected he would look sham
and remorseful, but he didn't. He
lerely remarked that appearances were
eosptive,' which ! took as unkind."
"Did you ever tell them how you got
he storyW asked one Of the younger
len who had been listening.
NO" replied the old reporter. Il
ever told. | let concealment, like the
vorm in the bud, prey on my damsss
heck. had a good deal of cheek in
nose days." he added thoughtfully as he
tarted down stairs.-New Orleans Times