The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-08-12

We'll. if she treats him like that 1
won't answer for the consequences,
replied Mrs. J. Matrimonial Bliss, lay
ing down her lace work and shaking
her head solemn1y at the Atlantic
ocean, rolling its blue summer waves
before the veran6a on which she and
Miss Emily Lonely sat gossiping.
For my part, l think she is very
tender, devoted wife, and he's a surly
brute, retorted Miss Emily The par
titions in these summer hotels are SO
thin / couldn't help hearing when he
said something about a devilish bore,
and she replied in the gentlest way:
Dear, you aren't WE'LL and then his
language became perfectly awful
simply put my finger in my ears. 1
can't help thinking how in the past
few days all her ideals must have be-
come shattered by his behavior, and
they have only been married two
months Men are such treacherous
creatures. Sometimes one does aDDTe-
ciate ones dignifed independence" and
Miss Emily gave her water color YER
sion of his majesty the Atlantic moon
that looked like a white celluloid poker
chip gone astray.
Mrs. Bliss laughed cheerily He
isn't a brute, Miss Emily. He's just a
little run down, poor young man, and
his eonfiding, adoring. pretty little wife
evidently hasn't got far enough along
IN her knowledge of the sex to realize
that there is a mighty big difference
in the best methods OF taking care of
sick woman and a sick man. Now,
we all know that woman wants to
De coddled and cu1dled, Detted and
fused over when sic is i'll. She grows
quite fond of her medicines, loves to
tuck UP among pillows and discuss her
symptoms, and speak in a still, small
voice and make large, pathetic eyes of
suffering gaZelle at her relations and
the doctor
Must be Handled With Gloves.
''If there is oae insult that a man
more acutely reSentS than another, "
Mrs. Bliss continued, ''it is Illness, and
he deeply objects to being reminded of
it. He knows that he is then I'M
manned and more or less an object of
amused pity to his own sex, so a sick
| husband must be handled with gloves.
1t is wifely tact that tides him over.
and that is what our little fNend
should learn. She is really painfully OBJ
fuse. Last night she tried to put her
white worsted shawl about his big,
| broad shoulders, made him change his
| seat, because she suspected he was in
d uIduSnl, anu ISlIlluQGu MIN Ol nlS
| pills right before all the other men,
| Do you wonder he used winged words,
| that is to say, directed coIloquial lam
| guage; though being newly married he
| spoke in tone only she could hear
| and complied with all her requests. ex-
| cept the use of the shawl In conse-
| quence she was hurt and huffy, and
| her eyes grew pink, and then he got
! madden and went out, by way of re-
venge, and stamped up and down the
wet beach, reveling, no doubt, in tht
| knowledge that she was wringing hel
| hands on the piazza and longing tc
rush out and on her knees offer him his
| cverShOeS, but her pride and fear of his
| manly wrath held her at bay"
And you think that's kind and ten
| der and noble and"-began Miss Emily
| Lonely IN wrathful amaze.
| No, Miss Emily chuckled Mrs
Bliss, "but it's masculine and natural
| and I've been all through Ii with my
John. Did 1 ever tell you about the
! time that John Matrimonial Bliss, esq.
banker, broker. aftec-dinner speaker
and retired warrior, came down witt
| the German measles?
Miss Emily shook her head.
'He doesn't dream to this day tha'
he ever was the victim of so pesky {
| little ailment, but sometimes when HI
chooses to reminiSs about his wonderful
| escapes and daring adventures, he nod.
across the table at me and refers t,
| the summer of his return from Cuba
| when he had a very close call, and
say, with sort of break in my voice
| oh, Jack, don't talk of it, and h
leaves the impression with his appre
ciative male listeners that he has faceC
worse things than San Juan hill
When the Crisis Came.
"That summer ! knew Jack wa
droopy when he began running down
the cook, but 1 didn't suggest Their
was any loss Of appetite. From beins
an entirely sociable creature he seeme'
to find pleasure in sitting alone ant
glOwering a good deal, and when / as
sumed a more cheerful air than usua
he tried to explain himself by saying
in the weird veracular of down town
that the street had cold feet.
1.-THE last familiar phase that Away