The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-06-01
Make Mach Work. "
KANSAS CLIPS AND COMMENTS


The final test with Neodesha mash
ers IL 70 stand in the hotel alley and
try to flrt with the dining room girls
One old boy recently was making the
test and Il jealous rival bombarded
him with bricks.
Anderson county is now ont of the
Far business, the association having
sold its property to w. b. Gowdy for
81 $50 VINO will use il for stock lots.
Beio five years the county will re-
gret this step greatly.
The desire to hear local orators aud
fire crackers squirt and tizzle Is second
in most Kansas towns this year to the
desire to watch the Democratic con.
veution at Kansas City perform those
feats.
\ Kansas soldier in the Philippines
writes to hi9 friends at Hutchir son
that he "would rather 90 to Kansas
than to heaven 1t IL all the same
only reached from his place by differ.
ent routes.
a travelling f,kir with trick adj
vertising scheme skinned the Con
cOTdia merchants out of 5000 and set
them by their ears 20 they are think
ing of changing the towns name to
DiscOrdia.
The Parsons Sun advises its read.
ers to hold on to their pecans as there
is shortage reported. Most Kan
sans can carry their pecan
output in their vest pocket go the
request will be cbeeTfully complied
with.
The Abilene Chronicle in scare head
lines says that "Here's chance. A
junction City man wants a wife and
wants her bad" The gentleman is
wasting his money in advertising in
Kansas papers for that kind-there
are none.
The average Kansas editor is a good
friend OF the girls of his town and
urges the boys to marry home girls,
roasts them when they fail and in his
anxiety to see them married would
wed them all hims self were he not tied
by the law.
The Parsons News darkly hints
that ifthe asylum goes elsewhere there
will be several shooting stare in the
political heaven. When shooting
sGrapes bee ame so common in heaven
it is time all sane men took to the
asylum.
Cherryvale has always received her
water from corporation pond and
now that it Is dry and tie company
has served notice of quitting the city
VIII substitute bonds for ponds and
build plant. Here is one case
where watered stock will be &C.
ceptable.
The Abilene Chronicle thinks that
before the campaign il over the Demo-
Gratis will be sympathizing with the
Sultan of Turkey. They ought to.
The sultan seems to be financially
situated about like the Democrats
usually fix this country.
1t lie poems like this from the Cha
mute Times which are making the
small towns anxious to get water
works:
She's fairer than lilly,
And she's sweeter than rose,
And she knocks the neigh ors silly
When she Yields the garden hose.
She lifts her skirts from danger
with her left hand, While her right
Grasps the nozzle, and the stranger
Gets very pleasing sight
The neighbors' eyes all twinkle
And their interest daily grows,
For they like to see her sprinkla
And they like to see her hose.
The calamity papers are of the same
sickening hue on the editorial page
as of ysre, but the local page daily
eXplodes The editorials For Instance
the Pittsburg Tribune has left no
stone unturned to convince it's readers
that the present system of the United
States government makes the poor
poorer and Civ es only the rich man
show, and yet, on the local page this
week it notes the departure of an old
French farmer for France and says:
"While he came to this country poor
he goes to his old home man worth
a good deal of cash and property
1t is probably true that writers of
calamity editorials keep cotton i'm