The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-06-17
BOYCOTTING A RAILROAD.
COYTEsvILLE COMMUTERS WALK THA
LONGEST NILE IN THE WORLD.

FROM ImeIE
Trip Ticket Shall he Had for Twenty Cents
Without the highest fume or russ
II moves upon It's secret way
And ere suspicion touches US
We ind our sclves beneath It's sway:
The deadly Trollioctopus
That wringsfrom man hisdahy pay.
The deadly TrollioctopuS
That melancholy octopus,
Hash mono polly octopus
That grips US tighter day by day
lays ~ a Committing Laureate)
Far hack in the billy Businesses Of New Jersey.
| miles from the busy Hudson with It's fotnlas oil
| ferrvboats. nestles amid Its shade trees and
| climbing roses the peaceful village OF Coytes-
| willie. To the wearied traveller arriving there
| with his brow caked with dust and the mark OF
| the industrious mosquito upon his countenance
II seems n yeritable haven Of rest. Here surely
ons thinks. the wicked cease from troubling
and the weary are at rest. And II was once
thus. but is no more. The curse OF civilization
Is upon Coytesville. II has fallen into the coils
of the Lethal trollioctopus.
In the brave days of old the Coytesville man
who wanted TO get anywhere hitched up his nag
and drove there If IL was too far to Walk Then
came a little ten-mile steam railroad which con-
nected the hamlet with the rest of the universe.
"reminiscences of that happy period OF innocence
are sadly recalled to the villagers by the fire.
auent look acknowledgements sign still
blooming by the roadside, but now. alas! bloom
ing unheeded. The locomotive pufed Its way
into the limbo of outgrown usefulnesses and a
long wire extended It's length through the air
until IL had reached Coytesville. The far-reach-
ing trollioctopus had flung a tentacle into the
community and slowly but surely made fast its
insidious hold on the place. Now 1t is firmly
established and the 800 Coytesvillaeers. no
less than ninety-four Of whom are commuters.
are fighting what they term its vicious en-
croachments upon their rights. All Of which.
reduced to its lowest terms, amounts TO this:
that the trollioctopus charges 30 cents a round
trip TO New York and Coytesville considers
that anything more than 20 cents Is robbery.
sibly murder. Therefore Coytesville goes!its
way, not exactly rejoicing but at least I'M
yielding, upon Shanks.s. his Tor her mare.
BUSINESS Of this until he has been to Coytesville
and learned how cut of Vt Is from the world
except for the aforesaid Trollioctopus. The
nearest railroad station is n mule ana a hali
away over q sun-beaten road. The nearest
trolley line that is not a Trollioctoprs Is at Fort
Lee village. n milo away; the longest mile
by the way, in the world The reporter who
WIhtr lll- WbIhVf " , 't'' W.
ing Fort Lee village one takes the non octo-
podic line to, Fort Zee ferry and thence comes
TO this city, landing at i25th street, at consid-
Is the route adopted by the determined inhab-
itants Of Coytesville, So potent has been their
self-sacrifcing example that II has stirred up
Hudson Heights, and other centres of poph,
lation along the trail Of the Trollioctopus and
II is not ut all unlikely that the whole country
side will unite in hunting the monster and re-
lRlnD ~ ~ EnhDllSGlnn
or course the commuters began. the fght.
Skilful statisticians have estimated that II II
wasn't for commutersi in general the mllliennlnm
IL would be some millions Of years nearer, at hand.
These Coytesville commuters declare, however,
| that they are fighting for the. brotherhood
Of man. just when the monster-destroying
idea took root nobody seems TO know, but IL
became active about TIVE weeks age, when the
ninety-four commuters swore by all the gods
Of New Jersey that the Trollioctopus had drunk
its last drink Of their likelihood. and that there
after they were free men and would fight 1t to
the death. or until II came down TO a twenty
cent round trip basis; Some OF the younger
confscating the monsters wires for lighthouse
| netting and transferring the tracks into the way.
side ditch, but cooler counsels prevailed and II
S SsS m ae1sTm sassio TO 0I All we're 't to ioGs1"ssTp IT,
wi!es and withhold any financial support from II,
Last week they held a council Of war at
passioned orators from Coytesyiile. pointed
out the dangers that lurked ahead and prophe-
eied a forty-cent fare II the monster was per.
%''I noble Ss &c sen III nnSne't give t hssS ' tWent rsessa
fares. or give them death; commuters never
shall be slaves; the old guard walks, but 1t never
sgrrss n and ths like, Fair young ysuInSs ladies c;1Sis
to make badges depicting an intrepid commuter
choking the Trollioctopus to death with a com-
] mutation ticket seven feet long. and get on foot
a movement for a church sociable- TO raise
| capital for an omnibus line TO Fort Lee. I'm
dying fealty 10 the cause was sworn and the
militant Coytesville contingent went forth
into the night, bursting with %valorous determin-
alton and walked home In a thunder shower.
which was regarded by the pious az the work
OF the Evil One upholding his own.
ins ff Sss seem .sT' lo "%e lines fS se Of %%oyteavt lager " s'ur.
Oily tranlpins to Fort Lee village and stopping
TO boot the speeding cars OF the Trollioctopus
slonal 'sanderer from other parts of the earth,
aScursionist, or broken-down wheelman. Not
alone does the male population eechew tho cars,
every girl commuter In tho hamlet does that
long mile with pride and at an ver-lncreasinR
pace. Moreover these young won en- have de-
clarcd q social anathema against all those who
break their VOWS in the matter and have al.
false youth Of the town Having been ont late
one evening he arose In the. morning with that
tired feeling and made a devious course to q
spot down the track where he thought he would
NOT, be seen, but a party Of girls had started
earlier than usual that morning and they, de-
serted him In q car at a point where the roadway
l uBIho h'Il ~ uushs Nv iu " IdN- u ~
With an airy bow but the entire aggregation Of
fair femininity concentrated such n zero glare
upen, him that he turned up, his coat collar and
| crawled under the seat. Since then he has
been left out of two strawberry festivals and
n candy pull and II Is said that he Il thinking of
moving to HobOken. Hoboker Is regarded as
the lair Of the T-ollioctopus, for there the Of
fees are situated
To Hoboken. accordingly, went on Monday
a committee Of Coytesville's brayest and bes,
apparelled for war. They were after Supt,
Young Of the company. But Supt. Young saw
them first: at any rate, he found ont they were
on the way. When they got there he was not
TO be seen. A ger tlemanly attendant met
them outside the offices and informed them that
the superintendent had gone TO Coney. Island
Inside the door an official said that he was
10 the inner office they learned that he had lust
started for MADAGASCAR: From inside came
a voice which said that he was on his way to
PaOtinR Fu To fight the Boxers. The commit
tee promptly sprung the "We-the-people-o Of
CQytesville" opening upon the office force,
which fed shriekinR, Then the committee de-
parted. saying that they would zone back later.
and that the 1rollioctopns was cowed already.
Afterward. the" got a message saving that Mr..
Young had decided 10 put on his Trip and would
meet thcm for Il conference; so they will prob
ably go down agal, within a day or two
Meantime, there Il no doubt that Coytesville
is stirred to its depths over the warfare. A re-
porter on his way there Yesterday counted
TO be normally patrons OF TRANSPORTATION lines,
ploddinR through the dust. and that was In the
middle OF the afternoon, when travel Is light.
AS he came In sight Of the village an cid man
passed Rim In a democrat wagon and pulled up
Walk over, from Fort lee village2" said he.