The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-10-07
SMART SHORT STORIES.

Scottish peasant, boastfng Of his re-
lationship to the Duke of Argyll, ex-
planned his connection in this way: THE
dukes piper's sisters wee laddie has a
wee doggie that's ain brither to my
aunt's wee laddie's doggie.'
In the course of the terrible march Of
the Irish Fusiliers from Dundee to Lady
smith the men were much fatigued, ow-
ing to the rough Journey. One man in
particular stumbled along as If walking
In his sleep. An officer passed. Sir, .
said Michael, what country is this We re
marching over?" THE Natal lakeland,
said Michael, Il think the tables turned
upside down, and we're walking over the
legs of ttn'
The night clerk of a leading hotel of
Washington, D. c., says that last winter
a Southern congressman came to him and
demanded that his room be changed.
When asked what displeased him, he re-
piled, angrilY: well, that German mu-
stefan In the next room and 1 don't get
along well. Last night he footed away
on his clarionet so that / thought
never would go to sleep. After 1 had
caught few Winks I was awakened by
q pounding at my door. What's the
natter L asked. If you please said
the German. dot you would schnore of
der same key. You vas go from B-hat
to G. and it spoiIs der moesfc.
The following excerpt from Margaret
Macaulay's little volume on her brother,
which was printed in 1864 for private
circulation, shows Macaulay's catlike
ability always to fall on his feet: "One
day Tom said jekingiy that there are
some things which always Inclined him
10 falf in. Of
in the world. Such. he said, as bread al
ways falling on the buttered side, and
the thing you want always being the
last you come to- Now, 1 Will take up
volume after volume of this Shakespeare
to look for Hamlet" You will see that
shall come to 1T the last of ALL The
first volume he took UP opened on Ham
let Every one laughed. What can be.
a stronger proof Of what 1 said? cried
he; for the first time in my life 1 wished
that what I was looking for would come
up last, and for the first time in NV life
Is has come up first
Henry W. O'Me1veny, of Los Angeles.
had unique experience last week at
MADEIRA, where he arrived at midnight,
dirty, unkempt and unshaYen after a
ten days fishing trip in the interior Aft
er settling down IN the deserted station
to await the arrival of the Los Angeles
train, O'AIelveny decided to purchase his
railway ticket before the ticket window
opened. Only a week before the railroad
agent of a netghboring station had beeIr
robbed, when the traveller opened re-
side door of the ticket room and walked
In the MADEIRA agent instantly sized him
UP as a road agent and, drawing his gur,
held it In his right hand, while, with his
left, he drew his money from the drawer
and thrusting 1T into the open safe,
slammed the door. Then, keeping O'Mel-
veny covered with his revolver, he reach
ed over and raped out on the telegraph
key for the benefit OF the assistant oper-
ator In the next room the single word
tough, while the assistant answered
in the same fashion, Yes; very tough
In the meantime O'Melveny had extract
ed $2o-bil1 from his pocket and request
ed a ticket to Los Angeles The tender
Of so much wealth by such a disreputab.e
fellow was positive proof in the agents
mind that it was a scheme to have him