The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-10-12

HEARD Of"
want to keep it to hit the crowd with
tonight. I want the biggest, bustinest
crowd to gather here tonight that the
town Of Jericho has ever seen. Give
every man notice as he drops in today,
and along about o'clock I'll hev the
fire bells rung and the horns footed.
Tell em it's big thing, pap; tell 'em
it's sunthin that's bound to jump this
town over ten rail fence and make
city lots wuth thousand dollars
apiece"
There was good deal Of excitement
night came the crowd at the postoftice
was as big as the time when war was
declared ag'in Spain. Most of 'em
thought Bill Lapham was goin to de-
clar war ag'in Mexico or Canada, and
everybody was lookin pale when Dea-
con Spooner called the meetin to order
and said:
here tonight to hear some remarks
from our esteemed Teller townsman,
William Lapham. and we kin take it
that them remarks will go beyand
geese and goslin's. Make your pint.
Diii.s
aMv piint is this" says Bill as he
draws long breath and steps out to
Git room. I'VE ar now in the midst
of the turmoil of a political cam
.,.dgn. Somebody is goin to be elected.
! amt sayin who it'll be, but the gold
en- opportunity fur which Jericho has
sighed is at hand. When the newly
elected official takes the oath Of Of
fee, he will be escorted to and fro"
THAT'S k'rect," says Deacon Spooner
as Bill pauses fur breath. "The speak
er amt through yit. but he's made a
pint already. When he refers to the
turmoil of campaign, it's not only high
flown language, but strong pint. Go
ahead. Bill"
'That escort will not only do the pres
ident proud" continued Bill, "but
every man in it will be mentioned by
all the papers in the United States.
They'll speak of his wife and children
and town and home, and he'll be big
man fur the rest of his life. He kin be
elected sheriff without opposition, and
II any one runs ag'in him fur the legis-
lature they'll be showed under. What
I'm here tonight fur is to ask the ques-
tons: Why not organize the Jericho
Guards? And why shouldn't the
Jericho Guards be that escort?"
There was yellin and whoopin fur
the next five minits, but when the dea-
con could make himself heard he said:
Its pint, gentlemen-six or seven
p'ints. I've read all the speeches ever
delivered by Henry Clay or Daniel
Webster, and both Of 'em put together
never made the p'ints our Bill Lapham
has. Bein l hev the floor, I'll say l
favor the idea. Yes, sir, I'm with 1t
heart and soul want my name to
3 60 down fust fur the Jericho Guards,
and Pm even willin to sacrifice myself
and be captain of the company. S'posin
we hear from Abner Jones on the sub
ject."
II s'pose it's known in this town that
my great-grandfather was killed at the
battle of Monmouth" says Abner as
he gets off the counter, Though amt
braggin about 1t. I'll jest say that
I'm willin to die fur my country any
time Pm called upon. and if Pm elected
captain of the Jericho Guards I'll
promise that no invader shall set foot
on these shores and live for five min
it's"
"Thar's pint in that" says the den.
con as he looks bit put out. when
mans willin to die fur his country
that's pint in his favor, but of course
we want to hear from other patriots
How is it with you, Moses Plumber?"
"Does any man here doubt that I'm
willin to die fur American" asks Moses
as he draws himself up. my great
grandfather didn't die at Monmouth
but the blood of them seven uncles Of
mine that fell durin the civil war flows
In my veins, and my watchword II