The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-11-23
KANSAS CLIPS AND COMMENTS.

ADDRESS OF the man who ever saw a
white colt.
Topeka smells q SAC, 900 creamery
that is, she will smell it If it really
locates there.
1t surely can't be far from Abilene
to heaven. In the Chronicle appears
the ad; Take it to Cooley, he'll fix
it"
The Seneca Tribune says the new
song, Hug me to Death, Darling"
is meant for a duet without an audi
ence.
The Abilene Reflector suggests that
peace might be wooed by letting Dom
Paul have the job of running the Phil
ippines.
j. d. Bowersock laid aside his
congressional mantle long enough the
other night to ride the Masonic goat
at Lawrence.
Vic Murdoch says that if the sole
penalty of being monarch is to have
women throw hatchets at you, to bring
him throne toonct.
The fact that the five Smiths who
were in Congress were returned proves
to the Lawrence Journal that the
Smiths are standing together.
The ordinance against profanity is
so strictly enforced at Ottawa that a
harmless and quiet German was ar
rested because his name was Kerse.
The Chanute Tribune says it is as
1t is because that $l2 dinner in New
York sat alright on Bryan's stomach
but griped the average voters diges-
ter.
Coffeyville will open it's new hotel
on Thanksgiving day with a ball.
This il the first notice that the hostel
ry is equipped with a ball bearing
floor.
Wichita Eagle; 81 think" said
man yesterday, ''that Uncle Sam
ought to arise in the Philippines and
yell with all his might; Alps outs
in free. "
The average age of Kansas school
marms is 22.5 years, which is the sole
point in which the individuals do
not object to being classed as mot up
to the average.
The State bankers who met in Tope-
NJ iNNNhble dBlttd Nlldl lllt ueDOStlS
in Kansas banks in thelast six months
has increased - millions. 10 is such
an unlucky number!
A query from the Fort Dodge Mes
senger: Why is newspaper like a
wife Because every man should
have one of his own, and not be run
ming after his neighbours.
For years the old folks have told
the children at Longton about babies
growing in trees, but when dead in
tant was recently found in a tree there
the old folks got terribly excited.
Abilene is wrestling with series of
Dowie meetings, but the black indif-
ference shown by the heather of that
town stopped the meetings more efIec-
tually than did rotten eggs in Illinois.
The divorce suit of Peter Sells is be-
ing tried now in Ohio and a lot of
superannuated and tender love letters
are in evidence. AT the first glance
it looks as if the Snowman has no
show.
1t is noted as characteristic of Kan
sas nature that Captain Boltwood who
helped lead the fierce Twentieth Kan
sas in the fights in the Jungle of Ma
Mia is now cultivatiug material for
the pipe of peace at Ottawa.
Down in the southern Kansas gas
belt the men who have Just lost Jobs
as chalmers ON Democratic papers
have been hired by rival commercial
clubs to letout to the public how many
factories are soon to locate in town.
Governor Stanley has been peti-
toned to sign the death warrant for
the escaped convict Estell should Ee
be retaken as many people fear the
cold blooded multi-murderer. The
only probable contest will come from
Estell and from Hades.
The Santa Fe is distributing its cir
cular 1.-The Oklahoma Opportunity
broadcast in Kansas. This should be
stopped, Kansas furnished most OF
the present population of the territory
am another drain will keep the state
thin.
Barney Sheridanmovethat the Dem
ocratic party rise and sing, "There'l
be no more fusion there, " substituting
fusion for SORROW" He also
notes that the difference in meaning
between 'fusion" and sorrow" cam
not be seen with the naked eye.
The center of the country's popula-
tion is now in Indiana and it is com
ing west at the rate of Is miles every
ten years. So the center of the coun-
try, Kansas, will be reached about the
time Bryan is elected president, so
far as this generation is concerned.
A bunch of Topeka Democrats are
moving to maintain the grand old
party withou. fusion which has all
but ruined it. A bunch of Topeka
Populists is moving in the same terms
against the Democrats. And the Re-
publicans will not modest or interfere
while the fight lasts.
Vic Murdoch is among the first to
knock on the latest feminine fad, the
kangaroo shape. This is the new
harness that puts the front suspender
buttons down near the knees and those |
behind up to the shoulder blades, |
4. L | . j =.