The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-16
DER GERMAN cossLeR.
Tat Lille Tailor Genes 70 the Resene win
Nare Adyier.

-Shust so easy ash tar You know
| about dot troubles In China. Of course
/ Esferbody vhas interested in China shus
! nOw. II you say you vhas cobbler fol
/ nfe years in Picking. more ash two t'Ou-
! sand peoples Will come In to see you un,
/ bring some shoes. ] Will put you ooI
some signs Of Dot Cobbler from Picking.
ind YOU shall see how her Will be-
But / vhss neffer in China nor Pc
king" ] says.
Dot makes no deeference You ghusi
20 right ahead und tell all about II, urt
/ you yhas all right. / ynas neffer In SoutE
Africa. but don't l tell my customers
all about dot Boer war; Why. / talk foi
| an hour sometimes. und you should sc,
| how der peoples rush in Ger coats unJ
pants 10 be pressed Man alife. don'i
you miss some good things"
| vhas leetle scared. und my wife says
] shall set my head knocked of. but dot
tailor he puts me oop sign und says
yhas rich man in Two weeks. Ii goes
| in her newspapers dot / vhas a Sherman
Chinese-Americsn cobbler. ind ash queeb
ash i open my shop in der morning a
man comes in ind say:
by golly, but so you hat lived in Pc
king, eh?''
Il haf," says.
''Det vhas nice. Let me hear you talk
some Chinese language"
Il can't did it"
But how do you get along in Peking
If you can't speak some Chinese?'
4 shust keep quiet ind don't speak to
ropody"
Can you make some Chinese shoes?"
NO"
Look here. cobbler," says dot man ash
his smile goes AWAY. don't you try 10
play some roots on me. / yhas no kid
You say you vhas in China for fife years
What vhas der name of dot river by Pek-
| ing?"
He vhas called der Mississippi river.
You vhas a liar by some clocks, You
vhas no more in China dan / vhas in
Russia, und If you Will step outdoors
shall haf some pleasure IN knocking your
he ad by der middle of next week.
| don't go out, of course i says | vhas
very busy und he must excuse me, und
he swears ind blows around ind goes
AWAY. i belief / shall take dot sign
down, but along comes a man who says:
Belly well, belly WELL Choppy stickec
allie samee eatee rice. SO you vhas in
China? You vhas shust der clothespin
vhas looking for. How high vhas dot
stone wall In China?"
zone t'ousand feet" I says.
What? How you make dot oudt? Vino
can build a wall so high? Maybe you
mean % feet?"
Il mean one tousand When you vhas
on top of dot wall und look down, a dol
lar bill don't look so big ash postage
stamp
ION What ocean vhas Peking?" he says
after awhile.
"On dot Lake Erie Ocean, of course"
"Oh, she vhas, Ell? Cobbler. your head
vhas either filled nit sawdust. or you
vhas an inferral Hart / vhas going down
town now, und don't like to sweat my
collar, but if dot sign vhas still oop when
l comes back ! vbill step in und knock
your head Offer your heels ind put in two
kicks for nottings!'
Ny wife cries oudt dot we vhas busted
to bankruptcy ind some poorhouses, und
1 belief 1 shall go oudt und brace oOp on
some beer, when dot preacher who lifts
around der corner comes in. He smiles
und shakes hands und says:
"Cobbler. dis vhas sad peesness in China
More ash ten t'ousand missionaries vhas
'em. If you lived in China for fife years,
you must know about missionary work
Did you see some good influences from
herr"
Il did," says I. more ash LOCO, 900
Cinnamon don't bet On der races no more
after one prayer meeting"
Album! My name vhas Ricketts,.
Maybe you meet my brudder in Peking%'
Il know him like some books. He looks
shust like you. After some Cinnamon hear
him preach once nopody gets drunk or
whips his wife. belief your brudoer safes
more ash 100000 souls in China
'Ah-um! Den you belief my brudder
does some good?'
Il belief he makes angels of all China
men,"
Dot preacher looks at me in some curl
Gus WAYS, und den he says:
''If you lived in Picking, MAYBE you can
tell me der names of some streets?'
Il can. Dere vhas Fulton street, Green
street, Washington avenue. State street,
First place, Rag alley. und lots more. /
hat my shop in Main street"
'Cohbler. did you hat some sunstrokes
dis summer" he asks.
"Of course not"
Den it yhas natural for you to be some
liars, guess, but I don't belief you Will
make her pay. Good day, sir.''
He vhas only gone AWAY when I take
dot signs down, but it vhas too late. De
fat policemans on der beat comes in und
says:
"Vhell now. cobbler, MAYBE I vhas
bounced off der force und like to 60 TO
China. How vhas der weather oafer dere ?'
II dunno"
How vhas house rent in Peking?"
Il can't say"
"Vhat! You lif for five years in Picking
und can't say? Don't monkey nit me. old
mans How much you hat TO pay for liver
ind bacon in Peking?"
Il neffer bought some"
''Vhell, how vhas beefsteak und cod
fish,"
81 can't say"
"But you must know about potatoes und
cabbages?'
II don't know nottings. vhas neffer in
China in my life"
IF you vhas neffer in China, Why do
you put oop dot sign?''
TO draw some customers"
"Oh, no. 1 see! You neffer vhas in
China. but you lie und deceive und swim
die. Cobbler. ! hat my eye on you for
some time. You yhas a bad. bad mans
You vhas a liar, cheat, und a swindler.
und you ought TO go by some shaills.
What you mean, eh?''
Il mean peesness," / says.
so do l." he says, und he jams me by
der wall, jabs me in der ribs, und whirls
me around by der neck till / falls down
und can't speak TO my wife for ten min
utes. i goes TO find dot leetle Sherman
tailor. but he sees me coming und runs
n Ill Dor r..-r-