The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-11-11
How TO BUY POISON
One Accommodating Woman Thus
Cheerfully Explains.
Act as II You Don't Want II and You
VIII BE Sure to Get IL, but Be-
ware of Exciting the SuspiciOns of
the Druggist With Red Eyes
and Disheveled Hair-Experiences.

Have you ever tried to buy poison!"
asked the cheerful woman who seems to
take a strange delight in asking narrowing
questions. You haven't? Well. it's quite
an interesting experience. II you don't want
poison, it's easy enough to get it; you
simply go into a shop. look spruce, smiling.
and happy, and say. Give me some carbol-
ic acid'-or prusic acid, or paris green, or
corrosive sublimate, or any horrible thing
you can think of-and the clerk will say,
For cockroaches. madam and you smile
sweetiy and murmur, Yes, cuckroaches,'
or mice or feas, as the case I.ay be. He
pastes skull and crossbones on the bot
tie and hands it to you with smile. Then
you smile again and futter out. Why so
many smiles. 10 show you are not sad or
mad or ready to die, Of course IL you
looked wild-eyed and desperate you
wouldn't get the poison. It's only when
you look as il you didn't want Ii that you
can get it. Understand"
''Oh. yes; it begins to- dawn upon me.
why, one day not long ago my cat ate
some arsenic and promptly had fit.
knew that choral was the antidote for
arsenic or strychnine. / wasn't sure
which. SO sent for some. The result was
that that poor creature nearly died before
the maid returned from her quest. She
brought back two notes. One was from q
druggist near by, which read: Give Kim
raw egg. The other was from drug
gist ten blocks away. which advised mus
tard and warm water Poor Kitty, She
got well without any drugs-thanks to her
nine lives, suppose.
Then last year, when poor Toutou was
run over and decided to chloroform him
to put him out Of his agony. l had such a
time getting the chloroform. I was in a
terrible state of mind from seeing that ami
NAL suffer. and when two druggists refus-
ed to sell the stuff to Bridget, who was as
distraught as I was. I went to the shop
myself ! had been crying and my hair
was rumpled, and l suppose looked as II
had lived in this wicked world about as
long as / cared to. / asked for the chlor0-
form. and the druggist looked suspicious
at once. simply must have it at once,
said, 4 would get prescription. but every
intsant is precious. My dog has been hor-
ribly injured in an accident and / want to
put him out of his misery He went be-
hind the counter and returned, keeping his
eye on me suspiciously the while. I beg
ged him to hurry II it Is for toothache,
he began. l was already on the verge Of
Mysteries and that was the finishing touch.
/ flew out of that shop. determined to get
policeman IL could get no more mercI-
full means Of putting Toutou out of the
world.
las hurried along the street. foot
steps came pattering after me and the
painting voice of the drug clerk said, I'll
go with you and administer the chioro-
form IL you'll let me- He thought he
was heading off a suicide. We hustled
along breathlessly, and the moment the
door OF the house was opened We were
greeted by Toutou's bowls. That drug
clerk looked amazed. He had brought the
chloroform with him when he ran hatless
out Of the shop, and poor Toutou was des-
patched to the happy hunting grounds OF
little spaniels VINO love to chase cats and
eat mutton bones.
Then once upon time wanted some
ether to clean silk hat"
The cheerful chatterbox's companion
wore an expression of placidity and de-
tachment that resembled coma. says the
Commercial Advertiser" Il don't think
you are interested in buying poisons.'
said the cheerful woman in an aggrieved
tone. But if you ever need any you'll
be glad have YOU these hints"