The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1900-12-27

TO come IN Jest right and hit the school
house on all sides at once. | fur one
am standin neutral in this bizness, and
I'd like to hear both sides of the ques-
tion. Mebbe Silas Lapham, who lives
next door to the schoolhouse, would
like to make few remarks"
"As fur me-" says Silas as he rises
up, I'm agin the idea Of a lightnin
rod. That there schoolhouse was built
13 years ago, and durln them 13 years
we've had 70 thunderstorms. If she's
lodged 72, WHY can't she dodge 200?
Why can't she keep right on dodgin till
she tumbles down of old age? Forty
dollars fur lightnin rod means more
taxation. Thar's sich thing as an
emporium of education, but thar's also
sich thing as an emporium of taxa
ton. Jericho Is out of debt and no
one kicllin. but LET the hand of ex-
cessive taxation clutch her throat, and
how long would it take to strangle the
life out of her? Pm askin you to
pause and ponder afore it is too late"
''Silas. you've made q pint and a
strong one" says the deacon when the
applause has subsidized. "If the school
house has lodged - thunderstorms,
thar's no reason to think she won't
keep up the record. Yes, it's a pint
and mebbe the lightnin rod man would
like to answer it,"
81 don't think much of the pint"
says the man as he gifts up ag'in
"Thar's S0000,000 people in these Unit
ed States, and because none of 'em fell
down stairs last year 1t don't foller
that heap of 'em won't tumble down
this year I've known man to go on
dodgin mules heels fur 16 years and
then git 'em both in the stomach at
once. Mebbe your schoolhouse will
dodge a hundred more thunderstorms,
and mebbe we will skassly hev sought
our virtuous couches this night before
a thunderbolt as big as bar'l will go
drivin through her and leave nuthln
but a heap of splinters to mark the
spot where your emporium of educa-
tion once reared its proud roof to the
blue vaults of heaven. | said $40 to
the town board today, but in order to
show my interest in the cause of edu-
cation and to prove to you that my
hand is ever stretched forth to uphold
the prestige Of a nation of freemen
I'll make the price $3S."
"Hes made n pint gentlemen-he's
made n pint" says the deacon as he
whacks on the stove and looks around.
"Yes, sir, when he talks about our
schoolhouse rearin it's proud roof to
the blue vaults of heaven he's made a
pint, and I'm more favorable to the
lightnin rod than 1 was. l think this
crowd would like to hear from Enos
Williams"
"I'm with Silas Lapham," says Enos
as he shets up his jacliknlfe and gifts
his feet under him. "I'm fur lettin
sartin things dodge or bust. They
wanted to insure the meetin house "a
years ago but my advice was to let
her dodge. She's thar yit. I've got
barn 80 years old, and she's never had
n lghtnin rod or been insured-Jest
had to dodge or bust all these years
and she's thar yit. Seventeen years
ago, when | built my house, | put a
bell on the front door. Nobody has
rung that bell to this day. 1t would
be the same If we put lghnin rod
Bn the schoolhouse-you wouldn't see
thunderstorm around here fur the next
10 years. I'm all right on the empo-
rum Of education bizness, and | can
see that thar schoolhouse rearn It's
proud roof to the blue vaults o. heaven
as plain as If it wasn't o'clock at
night, but ! don't see no call to pay
out S3S. Let her dodge or bustw
"Thar's a pint thar, Enos-thars a
pint" says the deacon as he hits
cracker bar'l with his cane. Eyes, sir,
thars a good deal in your theory about
dodgin. When all the cows around
here was heyin the lump jaw, a Teller
offered to protect mine agin 1t fur SO.
said I'd let her take her chances, and
she come through all right l obsarve
Moses Forbush among the audience,
and, as Moses built the fence around
the schoolhouse, mebbe he's got sun-'
thin to say" ia
IL amt ag'in lightnin rods" says
Moses In his slow way-'I'm not agin
'em fur what they are. 1t pears to
me, however, that we'd better begin at
the bottom instead of the roof. Thar's