The Negro world., 1900-05-12

MIS- JAoSoH kpt INTO the SieTu hHGNtS
with many #misgiyings and with the
look of one who is breathing silent
prayers. but Mr.. Jobson stepped heav-
lily in with the air of "A deep water,
heavy weather cox un of pirate cap
tain's
Just pass me those oars he COM
manded the boatman. and then the
boat was showed Mr.. Jobson dug
the right oar into the water as If il
was an oyster tong, and famed the
air with the left. The boat careened
to the right. and Mrs. Jobson emitted
little scream of alarm. Mr.. ,Iobson
glared at her.Then he dug the left
oar into the water. as if 1t was trying
to make sounding ut that partieu-
lar spot.. while he welded the right
oar as if 1t were a cricket bal. The
boat was listed to the left, and again
Mrs. Jobson emitted n little scream
of fear, holding on tight .Johson
glared at her some more. pulled out
his handkerchief and mopped his face,
and said deep things in his throat.
This darned machine is out of or
der" said he. "or else YOU have put
job on me with the boatman. Mrs.
Jobson. l suppose you came over here
late last night ana fixed il all up
with him-arranged il so that we
srould both be dumped near the dock,
and the boatman is to rescue you and
let me go TO the bottom. Then you
collect my insurance money, pay your
! accessory in the crime, and"
Hey. there!" yelled the boatman;
"catch this line, will you?"
Mr.. Jobson caught the line the boat
man threw him, and the outrigger
was pulled back to the float,
They're a bit hard to manage. as
l told you" said the boatman. Don't
you think a plain skiff is what you
want ?"
Mr.. Jobson regarded the boatman
and Mrs. Jobson savagely.
What | want" he said. els some
kind of a boat that will go through
the water-not machine that is
| purposely cranked up and fixed for
the purpose of sending people who try
to row il to a watery grave. If you've
got that kind of boat haul ii out;
that's all"
The boatman deposited Mr.. and Mrs,
Jobson in safe-lolsing skiff of the
fat bottomed kind. handed Mr.. job
son the oars. and this time Mr., job
son contrived TO get the boat away
from the float without catching more
| than half dozen crabs. The tide
was running out, and by the time Mr.
Jobson had pulled the skiff halfway
across the stream he began to pan;
and snort and puff like n small stearr
tug pulling an ocean steamship. The
boat meanwhile was rapidly going
down stream with the tide. Mr.. Job
son mopped his perspiring face and
gazed coldly at Mrs. Jobson. who was
hanging on to the gun'ls with pale
countenance.
"You just did this to humiliatt
me, didn't YOU, madam" said Mr.
Iobson. picking up the oars and pull
ing hard for the opposite shore. Its
just pie for you to have your husband
made 10 look cheap in the eyes Of
the riff-raff, isn't il? 90
I'm sure don't know what you
"Oh. no; you don't know anything
| about it," snorted Mr.. Jobson. "YoJ
didn't rock that outrigger with you
two hands so it wouldn't work as soor
as began to row in 1t, did you? Ant
you didn't wink to that boatman Il
pick out the heaviest tub of IA galleoT
that ever crawled through the water
to make II appear that ! was shy IL
rowing ability, did youP"
mfr. Jobson, wen go down 10 tht
Long bridge soon II you don't TAXI
the boat further up the stream" sale
Mrs Jobson, noticing the rapid drift
of the skiff downstream, land then
let 'er drift out to sea. madam,
said Mr. Jobson. i'm tone of deadly
GOODNESS; lit would serve you righ'
for forming an alliance with a muir
derous boatman to-"
Then Mr.. Jobson went at the oars
and by dint of tremendous effort HI
managed TO fetch up on the Nirginif
side. on the edge of a grass marsh
about half a mile below the point
whence they started. There he threw
out his line, and Mrs. Jobson threw
out her line. and at the end of ar
hours fishing Mrs. Jobson had caught
four nice little perch. and Mr.. Job
son hadn't got bite. Then Mr.
Jobson called boy who was rowing
near by to come over and tow thu
skif back to the place where 1t hat
been hired. The boy hitehed his owl
boat TO a stake. and in eight minutes
he had pulled the skiff containing Mr.
and Mrs. Jobson TO the float withou'
SO much as breathing hard.
Madam said MIR. Jobson, wher
they got home. about noon. lugginf
the basketful of untouched lunch
"the next time you begin to poetiz'
and pipe-dream about the beauteoui
spring LEAKAGE, and bomboozle mt
into embarking with you on an cxpe
dition i'm which you have conspiret
to take my life. I'll be elsewhither
Mrs. Jobson; I'll be elsewhither--
that's Washington Star.
wagner as n HumorIst.