The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-05-27

"A Klnd-hearted clergyman was IataI,y
compelled to dismiss a gardener who
uSeG TO purloin his fruit and vegetables
For the sake of his wife and family. he
gave them a letter of recommends ion
ana this is how he worded it: 81 hereby
certify that A. B. has been my gardener
lot over two years and that during that
tlIne ne got more out of my garden than
any man L ever employed"
John Lancaster, the comedian. was
sightseeing with a Tommy Atkins in
Queoec one day and they had as COM
pahion and guide an old soldier. When
they reached the Wolfe monument
which is located on a historic spot. Tom
my said; 'Wots this?" The guide re-
piled: . Ere's Were a great 'ero fell "
Did hit 'urt 'im?" asked Tommy
Crt I'M replied the guide; ivy hit
During a recent visit to Chicago DIR
Robert Collyer told how his mother had
heard him preach for the first time in
her life at Leeds th.rty-five years ago
and walked proudly away from the
church on his arm. Looking fondIv I'm
at him, SIZE said: I'm not sure. lad thar
/ unde. stood thy sermon this morning
and I'm not sure ! would have believed
1t If | had but make sure, lad. I be-
An autograph-hunter who was very
anxious to obtain the signature of the
poet Campbell. adopted the familiar STRAIT
agem. Having come across a line in one
OF his poems, the meaning of which an
peared to be obscure. he wrote a short
note to the author, asking MIN to inter
pref the words in question. He received
the following lacOnic reply: "Sir: In re-
/
graph.-Thomas Campbell"
Richard Brinsey Sheridan was one dav
dining with Lord Thurlow, when his
lOrdship produced some fine Constantia
which had been sent him from the Cane
of Good Hope Sheridan, who saw the
bottle emptied with uncommon regret. set
his wits to work to get another Failing
in mis- attempt however, he turned TO-
ward a gentleman seated further down
and said, Sir, pass me up that .decanter;
for | must return to Madeira. since I
can not double the Cape"
During his last term as governor, Bob"
Taylor. of Tennessee, in the great kind
ness of his heart, had pardoned so many
persons who had been imprisoned for
larcenles that had been brought about
by the poverty of the cuIprits that the
making his life miserable Says w H
Visscher). One day an old negro nanny,
who had known the governor from his
childhood, came into his office and be-
gan al once to plead for the pardon of
her husband, who was then in prison.
Laws Dress yo' life. Marse Bob she
began. 81 wisht you'd pahdon dat po'
ole nggah Jim. He amt no good muffin
nowhar: he jest dat useless an trifiin',
even at home. dat he earn DO no mo-
den corter scrape arOun' an git little
sompen for VEAL to eat, an he sholy
amt no good down dar in dat pen" II
can't do it, Aunt Easter" the governor
began; 81 am being abused every day.
What's Jim In there for?" he suddenly
asked seeing the little light that was
left dying out of the old woman's dappled
eyes. IVY, Marse Bob, dey tes' put
him dar for muffin pom earth 'cept' ia
kin one po' little ole ham outen Mr..
Smifs smoke-house. We was outen meat.
an de pc ole niggah didn" do muffin
'cep' TEX de ham fur ter keep we1all FUN
starvin'" well. now. suppose l should
pardon jim. what good would that do
you? He Is so emery and trifiing." the
governor was saying. when the old wo-
man broke in with this reply: wy
Dress you. Marse Bob. we IS outen meat
ag'in. an Yves jes' got 20 have anothah
ham.