The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-03-25
HoMEsPUN YARNS.

Over in California. which state Is fast
becoming to spirituahsm what Utah is TO
Mormonism. party of Mormon elders be-
came greatly impressed with the spirit
ualist meetings. some wonderful demon
STATIONS having overtaken one of their
number al a recent meeting. So the eid-
erS decided TO have a seance- After some
scurrying around, a cowboy from down
toward the ''greaser'' line was secured
and prevailed upon 10 act as part Of the
subject. The elders surrounded a table
and. laid their hands fat upon 1t. as The
medium had done and, setting the cow
boy n q chair near at hand, told him TO
VIII the presence Of Ga6lanton. who was
a r0bber. mentioned in the Book or MOI
mon.
An anxious moment passed, when. Ike
one electrined, the subject leapee 20 his
feet turned a back Somersault. banged his
head against the wall, ana falling on mis-
back, drew both pistols and began TO
shoot
when both cylinders were empty, and
the ceiling looked IKE a pepperbox, the
coW-puncher arose, rolled his eyes, and,
in hay voice inquired: Who the he'll
And. concluded Henry Tanner. in re-
lating the story, that was the last Sc
ance the elders ever promoted"
Say" asked a young man of a police
nan, yesterday, have you got that night
burglar that only takes cash yet?''
No" sighed the blue-coat, mot yet"
Then guess III touch the old man for
SO tonight and leave the back window
OPEN"
Anent the popular fad Of the hour there
is no foundation in the rumor which was
started BY 3 certain young attorney in
the county clerks ONCE TO the effect that
Albert I. Schroeder will be rendered the
editorial chair Of a Salt Lake evening pa
per for the space of one week along the
INES OF In his Steps, or What Would
Lucifer Do2''
There are some damsels in this burg
who assert that W. G. Coleman, the lead
er OF the Grand orchestra, is eccentric
II happened during the interlude OF the
second act Coleman had been bringing
norSenaar ana caIgut into close and telling
proximity, in romp under the wire
for first place, with Cal Darlington a hot
second on the piano. 1t was on the home
stretch OF selection from "Cavallaria
RuSucana- As Coleman coilared the pole
! ana won out by neck the audience ap-
plauded with due decorum. Accordingiy
Coleman faced the sea of faces and bow
ed his dtgnihed acknowledgment. 'Caval-
lerfa RUsticana" is not considered a COM
lc opera, nevertheless the audience litter
Cd and apparently demanded an encore.
simultaneously Olsen nearly swallowed
the mouthpiece Of his cornet, while Del
Beesley 1eH limp across the bass drum,
and all was chaos.
In the haste Of dressing, the leader of
the orchestra had omitted to remove his
recltative tie and had buckled on his
oress bow over the glaring neckwear-
simply the act of an absent-minded ge-
MUS.
Speaking Of Observation-Disclosures what
did that bloodthirsty Anti-Boer Heygho
IN the Oregon Short Line freight Office in
Lend 10 convey last week when he mean
dered up Second South street with his
headgear adorned with the legend Metro
polltan Police?'
A quartette of returned missionaries
We're standing on the Smith drug store
corner last Friday talking over old times.
Wnen up spake one of them as follows:
You know, over in London we bows
used to DO our own cooking, for the sake
or economy, and take turn and turn about
SURFING that inevitable pot Of mush for
! breakfast. We also had a custom that
every member around the festive board
mad TO rectte verse of Scripture-on the
principle OF no text, no mush.
1t was Ray McCune's week to cook
ana We boys suffered accordingly: like
the famous young stole with the fox I'M
| Ger MS g1rdles however, we bore our cross
Win CHRISTIAN tortitude and murmured
/ not a word.
'Ol this particular morning II was
| cold, wet and dreary. To add TO our
/ trialSY the nuSh was, If ANYTHING more
l Iumpy than heretofore. Thep resident of
| the conference, George Shorten OF Ogden,
| opened the ball with a recitation from
/ JOB, while the others followed suit with
/ assorted texts. At last it came to En-
/ nett HoWelPs turn-he is now a county
| treasurer up in Idaho. With a sign OF
/ resignation as he thoughtfuliy tOved with
ms spoon and looked reproachfulIy at the
pow OF porrldge before him, he plaint-
IuIIy murmured: Hebrews, xiii, S: The
same yesterday, today and forever and
/ then a piece OF plaster fell from the caiI-
/ ing Ray income said the remark was
/ totally uncaIled for p" -