The Afro-American advance. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1899-19??, 1900-01-06
THE RETIRED BURGLAR.
A Night Adventure That Was Prost-
able Enough nut stiII Not Al
together satisfactory.

One night in the dining-room of
house where / was making short call
said the retired burglar, AZ found the
gas left burning, but turned down low.
and when I'd turned that up little |
found on the table under il the beauti-
fullest little cold lunch yo'l ever saw.
There was about half a turkey, pretty
near all one side of him. including the
second joint. which is my especial fancy
and do like cold turkey!-and bread
and pickles and things, and off on the
edge of this spread there was plate
of some sort of cakes and candies; and
what silver there was on the table was
of the kind worth carrying away.
"Well, now, You know, my motto has
always been business before pleasure,
but l couldn't resist that turkey, and
just simply pulled out the chair from
the end of the table, the one that was
closest to it. and went at il. and it was
as good as IL looked, the only disturb
ing thing about it all being that it was
contrary to good sense and good iudg-
ment TO SET there and eat it. plugged
away on the turk until had eaten
about all there was to it. and then /
reached over for that plate of cakes
and things and drawed it toward me
| wasn't going 10 eat any of them, but
| wanted to look at 'em-and as pulled
the plate along there rose up back of
1t on the table the top fold of little
folded paper that had been placed un-
der it; and picked it up and opened it.
1t read something like this:
"'Dear George: When you get
through eating don't fail to put away
the silver
I'D already put away most of ii,
dropping II into my bag as / got
through with it, as | went along. and
I'd just reached over for last pickle
and got that, and dropped the fork in
my bag and was reaching for the pickle
stand to get the bottles out and take
that, when / heard the rattle of key
in the front door: and knew what that
meant well enough; it was George.
'T am obliged TO state that for about
a sixteenth part of second | was more
or less paralyzed. because I'd come in
on but the night latch, and that was
my way out; and in that time George
was looking n the dining-room door;
he was a quick, spriHgy chap, and he'd
come in the front door. swung that TO
and turned the key in the lock and
swung round toward me all in practical
" one movement. He was no sardine,
n ! uH ole hal To i'm
and he lit out for me without Il mo-
ment's hesitation. | was handicapped
myself, of course, by that foolish,
hearty lunch I'd Just eaten, but | held
my end up as well as | could. and we
went ut it there in the dining-room.
1.-THE carpet was thick and we hustled
around there on it in sort of rough
and-tumble-hammer-and-tongs kind of
way for half minute or so without
making any noise, and then one or the
other of us iounced up against the un-
der side of the edge of the table, in some
way, hard. so ii made the dishes on it
fairly jump. Then we slugged away at
each other for half minute or so more.
getting pretty well warmed up to it,
but not making any particular noise,
either, till he run in on me and we both
fetched up agiu the table again with
n jolt this time that made things Just
rattle; and then the first thing that I
knew somebody upstairs was hollering:
Murder! Murder
THAT, you understand, meant that
something had got TO be done, and
soon; because that sort of hollerin', IL
it's kept mp long, always attracts at
tention; and / lit into George now as
well as ! knew how, and managed TO
get in finally one grand North Ameri-
can bulger on him that doubled him up
and sent him humpin' over to the other
side of the room. AS he went down he
upset some sort of stand there was
over there with big image on it, solid,
and that went down on the floor with n
jam that Jared the house, alongside of
him.
Naturally. that was the time for me
TO go, and | went. without the least
trouble in the world; front door easy as
pie, and long before he was up and
around I'd got away. But, do you
know. / always kind o. reproached my
self for that whole business. 1t was
bad enough TO take the silver; but to
double up George. too. must have been
annoying to the lady."-N. Y. Sun.