Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1900-12-13
H. y
A!Nt1DENT !

Once, after exposing the ridiculous
blunders Of the editor OF certain old
Iplays, James Russell Lowell concluded
with the remark, "In point of fact, we
must apply to this gentleman the name
Iof the first King Of Sparta" No one
remembered, of course, what this was,
but when they looked it up they found
1t was Eudamidas.
AS Horace Mann sat in his study one
evening, an insane man rushed into the
room. and. after abusing him for all
kinds of fancled grievances, challenged
him to fight. Mr.. Mann replied: MY
dear fellow, 1t would give me great
pleasure to accommodate, but cant do
1t, the odds are so unfair. am Mann
by name and a man by natare-two
against one! II would never do to fight"
The insane man answered: Come
ahead; am man, and a man beside
myself; let us four have a fight"
Prince Bismarck and Bancroft, the
historian, at one time minister to the
court OF Berlin, were one day dining
with Herr Won der Heydt, who prided
himself on the quantity and quality OF
the food which he furnished to his
guests. In those days (1S6S) Bismarck
was still In possession of his wonderful
appetite. Bancroft. at first amazed. be-
came at last anxious on seeing his
friend twice partake largely Of the first
courses. Dear Count" he remarked
with a world OF anxiety in his voice,
II believe there is more to come" Il
should hope So" replied Bismarck, Joy
fully; and renewed his terrifying prac-
tiee at the next course.
1t was once usual for Highland shep-
herds to take their dogs into church and
leave them outside the pews. Two
shepherds at enmity sat on opposite
sides of the aisle one Sunday, and,
soon after the sermon began. the dogs
one a collie and the other not seemed
to enter into their masters quarrel. The
shepherds egged on their dogs in un-
fertones, and soon there was real
light in progress. Most of those In the
immediate neighborhood craned their
lecks over the rews to see how the en-
COUNTER was coming out, and not few
we're standing up. The minister's pa
ience was ultimately exhausted, and so
le called to his hearers" and said:
All. weel, my britherin, l see we are
more interested in the dog-fight than In
ny sermon, and so I'll close the buike-
md I'll bet half crown on the collier
Capt. Hans Miron, who lost his life at
lis post Of duty on the burning SaaIe
{ Hoboken, a few months ago, was
ond Of telling of his early introduction
o the stern realities OF his chosen ca
eer. He had but just come on board
he schooner where, as cabin-boy, he
Fas to serve his apprenticeship to the
ca, and was still staring about him
nth boyish interest and inquisitiye-
ess, when the skipper approached and
rdered him to assist In washing down
le deck. He put down his bundle and
larted awkwardly to do SO, when a
scond order, accompanied by emphatic
xpletiyes, was given him to take OF |
Is shoes and stockings. He was per-
city willing to oblige. but at home he
I'd not been permitted to wet his feet.
So.' he answered innocently, with an
lgaging smile, Il should not mind. but
y mother does not allow It" The
Upper was rough old sea-dog, who
d not appreciate obedience unless It :
as rendered to himself, and his reply
rs stunning blow that flung the boy {
ross the deck. But after that !
lpt. Miron would say. with great :
ugh and not shadow OF resentment J
knew who was captain Of that &
hooner, and it was not my MOTHER /