Mesa free press., 1900-01-12
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us your new play a comedy or trag
edy?" L can't tell until see how thu
1 audience takes it."-Chicago Record.
i "She goes in for realism, doesn't she 2
Yes, indeed! Even the clocks on hel
stockings are strikiDg."- philadelphia
Record.
/; Dewey believes In short engage
ments," remarked Mrs. Snaggs. "Yes
the Spaniards who were at Manila las
year can testify toe that."-Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph.
Hattie-So Jack is engaged to Fannie
Ella-Yes, poor fellow. He'll probably
never know what he missed. Hattie
Why, what do you mean? Ella-Thai
he could have had you for the asking
What" asked the sentimental young
woman, twas the most touching Incl.
dent you ever Witnessed" And, after
some thought, Senator Sorghum an.
sWered with emphasis, can election
Washington Star.
+: Physician-You should repose on the
right side only in order to enjoy a good
nights rest. 1t Is positively injurious
to lie on both sides. patient-But how
can help it, doctor? You seem to have
overlooked the fact that am a lawyer.
Chicago News.
Couldn't Decide.-"Hark! do you hear
that man on the front seat? What un-
der heaven is that gibberish he's talk
ingT He's reading list of Boer
words and their definitions" "Well. I
Thought it must be that or golf" -Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
+, Jack-You won't let me havela W
Why, you loaned an X to Jones, and
he's almost a perfect stranger to you.
'Tom-Well? Jack-Well, I'm an old
friend of yours. Tom-Exactly, Jack,
and l don't want to lose you.-Catholic
Standard and Times.
"These sky-scraping fats have
Knocked the stuffing out of romance"
said the young man. "Yes," said the
other young man, "they have. Fancy
.serenading girl who lived in the fifth
story, with u brass band and a mega
.phonew-Indianapolis Journal.
Teacher-Now, little girl, have told
the class about the wicked place being
paved with good intentions. Now,
what do you suppose heaven is paved
with? Little Girl with delightful rec
objection of fresh-air picnic)-Ham
sandwiches, bananas an pie.-Harlem
Life.
Mrs. Stubb-John, what in the world
are you doing with those boxing gloves
in one hand and the remnants of dinner
in the other? Mr.. Stubbs-Maria, there
is tramp down-stai who says he Is
looking for scraps. l want to be GER
tain which kind he means.-Chicago
News.
Don't you wish you had minded
me? said the stern mother, as she piled
the paddle to her erring son with mon
otonous frequency and vigor. 81 wish,"
said Johnny, as he tried to twist around
so that the paddle would strike him
81 wish l wuZ orfing."-
Ohio State Journal.
st wish now" shrieked the angry
young wife. 81 wish now, Frederick
Harrison, you had married Edith Mac
mahon instead Of me! That's what l
wishw 81 would have married her."
yelled the Infatuated husband, "only she
wouldn't have me and you would
Cincinnati Enquirer.
They babe each other an affectionate
farewell at the door. "Where is he
goingY asked a neighbor. "For little
jaunt on the boulevards with his auto
replied the wife, "but one Of
the crank pins seems to be little loose
and there is no telling when he will get
back. Chicago Post.
81 dunno how Bills a-goin' to vote
In this election" said the campaign
worker; "I've heard tell he's on the
fence" "He wuz thar" replied his
"but one o. the canderdates
let fall dollar on the ohf-side o. the
fence, an Bill got dizzy, an fell overt"
Atlanta Constitution.
'When my wife gets to jawing," said
the man with the frayed cuffs, 81 pre-
serve d ShCACcs 4CS, uCdAN
about it." said the man with the blue
overalls. 81 heard your hired girl tell
ing our hired girl that you was the best
hand at settin' round an sulking she
ever seen."-Indianapolis Journal.
"Now, General Aguinaldo," inquired
the interviewer, "do you think that the
Filipinos can possibly get the better OF
the Americansw "'In the long rum
yes,." And the Generals eyes danced
as he watched his army preparing for
a ten-mile dash into the deeper recesses
Of the forest.-Detroit Free Press.
She-Harry, Kate Snowfall has dia-
mond ring that her lover, Fred Stilton,
gave her. Funny that you never gave
me any diamond ring. He-Nelhe, it II
only girls who are not precious in them
selves who require the establishment
of precious stones. She-Oh, Harry,
what a dear fellow you areLBoston
Transcript.
A manly boy Of Is entered the Office Of