The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1900-09-01
FOR SOBR|ETY.
MephistopheIes Makes
Plea.
The Sarcastic Opinions Of a Writer
Who Quotes Strong
Authority.


who was surgeon extraordinary to the
King of the Belgians. consulting surgeon
to the University College Hospital, emer
titus professor of clinical surgery to Uni
versity College. London, ETC., had the te-
merity to assert, 1T is rare now to find
any one, well acquainted with human
physiology, and capable of observing and
approaching the ordinary wants AMI
usages of life around him, VINO does not
and women are healthier and stronger,
physically, mentally and morally. with
out Intoxicating drinks than with them
This cursed, canting charlatan further
says, But the important truth has still
to be preached, repeated, and freshly IL
Illustrated, when possible, in every quarter
jof society, because a natural bias to self
/ indulgence is always present to obscure
mems views of those things which graft
| fly it," The ass. If he ever gets to my
princely regions, I'll sun-spot him!!
| 1 have stul another man to complain
about, but only mildly, because he says
he sells the pure stuff-alcohol-to others
than doctors. That / approve of, and eX-
| tel him for his good, sound common
seLse But when the gentleman speaks
of selling methylated spirits he makes
|
Ipoison one of my seductive, delicious bey-
erages that my friends the parsons have
been wont to call good creatures of
God'-Hai Hall Hail! Following are his
uncalled-for remarks, not founded, it may
appear, upon fact or understanding. He
says, or is reported to have said, touch.
! ing the selling of methylated spirits:
There are moral reasons well as bus
mess (sic) why l do not want to do this.
1 consider methylated alcohol far worse
than pure spirits, and regard the sale of
| it as selling poison"
| i, too, have business reasons and pro-
test against the PRONUNCIATION of any such
crude views as the above. The idea of al
hol in any form being poison! Why,
that is just as absurd as the views put
forward by the Lancet some two years
age when setting forth the mischief done
by grocers' licences for selling light
wines, so-called temperance promoters.
That absurd medical journal actually told
its readers 1--WE are therefore of opinion
that the time has come for careful recon-
federation of the whole question respect
ing the issue or abolition of the licenses.
!. That the sale of liquor be regis
| tered in every instance. as Is that of poi
sons by druggists" Bah! what does this
Ipestiferous suggestion mean? 1t further
said, about the same time: Lead, alco-
hol and other poisons may produce" etc.
Ard yet again, with its insolent interfer-
ence with each ones right to do as he
pleases, this canting journal of a straight
laced purtanical profession Ola! Hal!
lHaMD actually said, at is in middle and
later life that alconol finds man out.
Such persons innocently expect a bottle
or two of medicine to set them right, for
getting the number of larger bottles emp
tied in the past"
| Well /, Mephistopheles, semper iden,
feel on pretty safe ground with men of
n I'll rz1I LIT f. l..N fzx.
willy young chaps-especially those of the
alphabetical societies." j must put forth
special attractions, and make everything
fright royalty respectable. 1t is true-grin
as you may-tbat 1 have no prejudices
against espectability-none whatever
and /, of course, agree with the Governor
OF these fair Isles that THE traffic +.
liz properly conducted Is far from being
Idisreputable; in fact, Is on the same basis
as any other enterprise in the commune
| ty." True, true, true. 1 am a stickler for
| law, and it is good to find the Governor
with me. Brilliant the colors in which
| / love to dress is this plea for respecta-
bility; and almost as striking is your
Wow but recently expressed, that Most
good men cherish small faith In methods
which seek to regulate appetite by law.
Now, it is my special business to look
after good men, so called. but, to tell
the truth--and l very often do SOL never
years ago, and was crucifled on Calvary
because He was good; and adown all
| through the long centuries, when the
shadow of a cross falls on me, / writhe
with pain at the recollection of that dark
Iday.
| But 1 digress. You say, Most good men
cherish small faith in methods which seek
to regulate appetite by law" For good
men," say wise men, and am with you.
The latter know appetite grows by what
| it feeds upon. The "buttermilk- drinking,
ill-bred pietists are also aware that as
you increase the opportunities for indulg-
ing appetite, SO VIII appetite be develop
| ed. The law, of course, never did and
never Will directly regulate appetite, but
lawmakers can and do help to facilitate
! its growth in a striking and marked de-
gree.
There appears to be a little cloudiness
OF view as to the qualities of different
kinds of alcohol. From my point of view,
they are all very useful. 1t has recently
| been said to be immoral to sell methylic
alcohol, it being poisonous, while it IL
1ustifiable to sell pure or ethylic alcohol.
New. they can both be pure, and If prop
| erly made, are so; and, moreover on the
Authority of learned scientist, at once
great physician and an accomplished
ere mist, have to inform those I am in
terested in, and where breathes the man
am not, that of the two alcohols, If
urere Is anything to choose between in
their poisonous natures, methylic is the
least injurious. In the second of the six
lCantor Lectures on Alcohol, the learned
author says: I'VE may put down meth
lylic alcohol as the safest of the Sc
ries of bodies to which 1t belongs. But it
Is not without potency of effect and the
phenomena it produces are sufficiently de-
,monstrative. Its effects are developed in
TOUR distinct stages" N B-Taken in
moderation. 1t Is admirable!i In the sixth
jlecture, however, the learned writer says
! III this agent does really for the moment
IcEeer the weary and impart a flush of
transient pleasure to the unwearied who
crave for mirth, its influence IS an infin-
lttesimal advantage. by the size an in
inity of evil for which there is no COM
pensation and no human cure" This is
really surprisingly correct; and thus 1t Is
my head and hands are kept busy.
am, sir, of yourself and mankind. de-
lyctedly and obedently.
MEPHISTOPHELES
-e
| Promise me one thing dearest" he
49, III IA. I'm.