Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1900-03-23
DlSLIKED THE TOPIC.
SO He PROMPTLY TRIED TO TURN
THE CONVERSATION.

u
Discussion Over the Beginning of
the Twentieth Century, but Didn't
stick to the Subject Very Long.
The stecky individual in the waiting
room at the railway station folded up the
paper he had been reading and yawned in
large open faced sort Of way.
Il wish the papers would let up on this
twentieth century business" he said, adj
dressing a preoccupied, lonesome look
ing man who happened to be sitting near
him. I'm getting tired Of it,
''The papers take the wrong view of
it, perhaps?" suggested the other.
GAN of them but one or two. The way
look at it, there's only one side to the
question:"
"Yes?"
Ives. sir. It's as plain as the nose on
youv face. When we got to the year
190O.~we got into the twentieth century.
You can see that easy enough when you
look at it in the case of a man that's tax.
ing a century run on his bicycle
"You are right about it's being tire
some business" interposed the other man,
stretching his long legs out before him
and leaning back YEARLY in his seat.
"You don't see it as do. maybe?"
"No."
"You think we're still in the nineteenth
century,"
"Certainly."
"Now, just one moment. Can't you
see''-
my friend, what's the use Of our argu-
ing on perfectly self evident PROPOSE
ton? It's waste of time on your part
to try to prove an absurdity, and it would
be waste of time for me to argue with
you or any other man who has kicked
himself into the next century a year
ahead of time.''
Il think l can convince you in about
one minute
Begging your pardon, I've heard a
dozen times over all you can possibly say
about it. The case is as plain as that
imitation diamond on your shirt 'front.'"
"Gettfhg personal, are you?"
'Not any more so than you were when
you said it was as plain as the nose on
my face. What had the plainness of my
nose to do with it ?"
II didn't mean
II wasn't sticking it into the discus
sion, was ~
mo, sir, and wasn't sticking my dia-
mOnd into it either, was l?'
Begging your pardon again, sir. you
were. When a man combs his necktie
to one side to show the diamond in his
shirt 'front.' he sticks that diamond into
any discussion he puts his facial mug
into. He challenges the public judgment
on the genuineness of that diamond. !
am merely taking up that challenge as
part of the public when l tell you it isn't
genuine. 1t won't wash. 1t hasn't the
@h@1 ho1 @o1<
about it. If so''-
"No, sir. and it isn't anybody's bust
ness. It's my diamond, think"
''But that, as l have been trying to
break to you gently, is where you mis-
take. 1t isn't anybody's diamond It's
glaring fraud"
"You1l excuse me for saying l think
you've got whole lot Of cheek! 1t
doesn't concern you, sir, but l paid
doesn't matter how much you paid
for it. You were swindled, tell you, if
you bought that for real diamond"
POSSIBLY, sir, l may know as much
about diamonds as you dol"
"And, again, you may not. Do you
know, sir, that a diamond is simply
crystallized carbon, absolutely pure-pur
er than any baking POWDER
II think l know a diamond when see
it, anyhow
IF you don't know it's chemical COM
position, how can you be said to know
anything at all about it? Do you know
that glass can be cut to look like dia-
mond? Do you know glass is nothing
but melted sand or, to put it more scien-
tifically, that it is merely silica, mixed
with an alkali and fluxed by means or
"Say, what has all that got to do with
the question Of the TWENTIETH
''Wasn't it Phillips Brooks who said
there are two great regions in which ev-
cry true man lives-the region Of thought
and that of action-and that it is impos-
sible to separate the two? He must of
necessity live in both. If he does not, he
shows he is not true man. He is a
cheap skate
"Who's cheap skate?''
"Don't undertake to tell me, either,
that a stream can never rise higher than
it's source. I know better. Look at a
steam fire engine, standing on the ground
and shooting four inch stream from the
datum line into sixth story window
"Once again, sir, what has all that to
! do with the twen"-
'Neither is the man who makes two
blades of grass grow where only one
| grew before a benefactOr worth men
tioning, don't care who says he is. Any
| fellow with cents worth Of lawn grass
! seed and a place to plant it in can make
| a thousand grow where nothing but boys
! grew before. But he's got to have a
shotgun besides. The true benefactor,
sir, is the man who can cause wart to
disappear from the spot where it orig
inally grew
Eyes, butt
"Again, l knew man once who never
had clean hands, but he had lovely
soul. He was Swiss baker,
MAY ask you what you are talking
about?"
Eyes, SIR" said the long legged man,
rising and s1noving toward the gate where
a man in uniform was guarding the train
shed from everybody but confidence men,
'.now that l can get into the car dom
mind telling you that have been trying
to side track q ninety-nine year twentieth
century crank Your diamond is all right,
sir Good afternoon"
| Five minutes afterward the long legged
man, leaning comfortably back In his
seat and absentmindedly watching the
flying landscape through the car win
| dow. was speeding on his way to Lake