New-York tribune., 1900-08-15
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

At recent fire in Cambridge Mass, an occupant
of the damaged house was bewailing the loss of
her purse Several hremen Joined in a search
for the missing pocketbook. but after spending
some time in their quest still unsuccessful
Finally the Chief said to the woman, How much
in the pocketbook?' AS she answered Fifty
eight cents" the look of disgust on the Chiefs
face was too evident to he mistaken.
Tess-so your friend May Gidde is going upon
the stage: 1 suppose she expects to make name
did hn d5 shed have found
sweet for anything-Philadelphia Press.
"A stock company is forming" SAYS a promoter
quoted by THE Philadelphia Record" "for the man
ufacture and distribution OF artificial milk on
vast scale. Our chemists tell us that the article
is just nutritious as the best cows milk and
we experimenting with it on babies and sickly
persons with most gratifying results in the wav OF
increase of weight and on. and we shall enbodv
the details OF these experiments with before 9nd
pictures, in the prospectuses that we are al
ready getting out The little factory where we are
making our milk is in a wooded hollow back
of Valley Forge. 1t is most cleanly plant The
water fat, albumen, casein and sugar which we
use for bases all Of the finest quality Our
gases-carbonic acid, oxygen nitrogen and sui
phuretted hydrogen-are filtered three times in our
patent gas filter before them Our kreotin
pepton and tyrosln soaked for twenty-four
hours in pure spring water tanks. There are other
constituents besldes-I can't give their names
away-and, they, too, are washed with the utmost
Artificial milk is. altogether, much cleaner
thing than the natural product"
with a little care, Senator" said his physician
you good for many years yet Having an nm
impaired consttution'--
Constitution exclaimed Senator Vest momen-
tary forgetting where he was and resturinR
vehemently. The Constitution. sir, thanks TO the
onslaughts OF the party in power is a hopeless
ing at every porei''
Then he took a fresh chew OF Missouri long
green and said he believed he felt better.-(Chicago
Tribune.
A sack of oatmeal was recently stolen from the
home of the editor of Owego (<an) paper and
next week the following item appeared in his
journal: THE man who stole the sack of oatmeal
from our house-owing TO the sitting from a hole
In the sack it was easily traced TO his own home
had better return what is left of the provender or
there will be anon"
The tempest broke. The ship reeed and quvered
mentary expectation of being swept into eternity,
man clambered into the shrouds and waved bis
fTanticay.
Ladies and gentlemen! he shrieked through
the storm, "a straw vote VIII be taken!"
Some were for throwing him into the sea others
more cruel, were for Ignoring him altogether only
this was the year of the Presidential elections
that, after all, the man but the innocent Great
Of the occasion.-(DetToit Journal
The Rev Cyrus Townsend Brady tells this story
in The Ladies' Home Journal IT remember once
driving across the country with Bishop ---. while
discussing the nature Of the soul That u.s. the
Bishop was discussing; I only prompting by a
question now and then. We were on the rear