The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-09-23
A DESERT SEA SERPENT.
The Hobo's Treat for western Landlubbsrs In
the Year Of the Biz Panic.

the nNaE W DE- So
Say, do you remember the Last big panic
We had In this country" asked the hobo Of
better days Of the kith on the bench In the city
Hall Park.
DE only panic I knowed was like one Of
dem continuous shows you hear about. replied
the xiii.
The one I have stored away was n calamity
There wasn't a summer resort that kept open
half the season. People stayed AZ home, To
paraphrase one Of her Majesty Parliamentary
speeches. II was n year when our foreign rela-
tons were strained. Which IL TO say we DIDN'T
put up any dust In European countries. There
were no tips. and many Of the Rarcons slit their
windpipos and inhaled gas. and ended their
lives. 1t was the year when the Coroner made
all the money.
What's a ~garcon?" asked the kith
In scrub English u gaTcon Is a walter. In
some respects. old man. you are n garcon.
But never mind. The year I have in mind
| went to a Western State. There are some
parts Of this country where a panicis OF no
more consequence than a dog would be II his
claws we're cut. They have just 40 much and
no more all the year round. All the crops are
alike: so many muir pixies In the hill and no more,
30 much to eat and no more; the natives Just
wait day after day to be gtlled. they remind
me OF the gators on the banks Of the bayous
down South that lie all day In the sun with
their mouths open until they can get enough
flies for a square meal.
Il spent the season with these natives and
by degrees | got into their confidence Then
] give EN- the sea serpent story. You know
how that game is worked AT the resorts The
year | speak Of there hadn't been a sea serpent
at any of the resorts. The sea serpent yarn
il the only one | know OF that hasn't worked
over time never knew ne year when you
so ! told the natives In the settlements where
I summered about the sea serpent until finally
] got 'em excited, and one Of the natives who
was a sort Of class leader In his %bailiwick said
II was very funny 10 him that sea serpents never
got any further ,hsn q ~ SEm Ibat m rg59 ar do ana ana
/ said to him In the same way that n lodge man
tells another lodge man a thing on ne Level, that
there was a sea serpent N business IN the sands
of the desert not far away
In a few days ! was holding court. That is,
was being called on by all the natives and their
| families, who pleaded with me TO be their leader
so To speak, and take EN- to the place whore the
| sea serpent lurked in the sand and. like the wild
fox, dug his hole unsecured Then ! discovered
I was In for II. or as the sports have It, i was up
TO me to furnish a sea serpent explained To
my new followers that he sea serpent wac a
stances would he ever show NJ unless there was
a big frame hotel near by, with q veranda all
around IL, and a SPA or two near by ] reckon
you don know what a spa is, causeit is made Of
water that Is sold by a corporation
Il s'pose when a mans mouth waters for bug
| Juice It's a spa, said the kith.
Yours is an old one, old man But never
mind | worked my scheme on the natives all
right, until they quit their own business, which
| they could do about as easy A. you could go up
against a bar. They began by buildtng me n
hotel. They would steal ANYTHING that was
necessary to make II according 10 my plans II
I was the only time In my life | ever played boss
4 Meanwhile ] lived like a maharaiah AT a worlds
fair They would hold up stage fS and
things that conn under the head OF Injuries.
II the tarif thinkers had struck me then they
would have got enough Ia pay the national debt
"Prett, soon the hotel was about finished
and everything was nearly ready Tor the open
Ing The building stood on the edge Of a SANDY
waste which was so wide that n took the sun
all dav 10 get from one side Of " To the other.
, Somewhere in the mids, Of this sandy waste
The orenipg night finally came and there
were waGonloads Of barrels Of everything
tives and their wives we're present, and as tho
ter and hotter / finally ordered hat the barrels
Then l had the upper ends knocked out and the
dance was resumed. had the reyclers sashav
the proner time | called on the shindig. and
assuming an attitude like Ajax when he dared
the Lightning, TO strike him pointed OUT he
the noon was rlavins a III and ddeffe Said: there
i Is. You can see II griggling in the sand and
western wind from the mountain Is playing a
two-step in the serpeni's whiske,s
Il had my horse ready AZ the back Of the tav-
srI and mounting him ] rode. l met the dar;
light on the mountain top and passed II, ard
come on East There was 10 panic IN the cCun-
were just as sure they had seen q sea serpent
as some other folks have been, With. plenty
Of imagination and a summer hotel, and n man
who knows how to run a dance, the sea serpent
will show W every time, And when a man
savs he has seen one Won never can nerslade
him to admit he was mistaken. I'll bet ] could
go back TO that. country and get any Office
"Sav." said the kith. as he arose 10 shamhle.
dat would be a good country to go TO wild 2
snake show. You wouldn't have 70 hsye bul
one snake wild a press agent like YOU In de front"