The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-04-24
NlENSP APER MEN
IN POLICE COURT
The Great Dispenser Leaves Off Part
ofDaily Programme.
A FAMILY REGULATE R.
of Daily Programme.
Settles a Financial Proposition and
Lays Down Some Isuies Which
He Practices at Home-Hot
Pot Not Summer Drink.

The Great Dispenser was particular
yesterday how he exercised his usual
pastime of abusing the newspapers. lie
weather prophet. but he knew that was
too general to give offence to the visit
ing newspaper men from New Jersey,
who were present to see the man about
whom they had read so much.
Justice John was very careful and delio-
crate this morning in dealing with the
foihies Of his weak and unfortunate TEL
low-cit1zens. He carefully stilied the
throbbing of MS mammoth brain by deity
running mis- iily-wtite fingers through his
iron docks, and came upon the bench
smiling upon a goodly company. the pic
ture Of a self-contained, up-to-date law
giver of the people.
EARLY BIRD.
lie arose before the opening buds on
the saplings along Hanover Street had
shaken the dew Of the morning from
to inspect his FENCES before the serious
work Of the day began.
He keeps his fences in good order all
the time, and a new post here, little
ornamentation there, with the occasional
Tightening Of a nut, or the driving Of a
nail. fixing them COR the hardest winds
that blow.
And so, with steady pulse and confident
smile, he overlooked the multitude.
The first to face the battery of the
law WAS Poor Dan Shelly who goes
in a never-ending circle. like toy cleo
trio train. with the Police Court and Jail
and aimshouse for stopping-places. and
the gin-miils for flag stations.
Dan was discharged Friday from the
elmshouse after two months illness. and
was back again, both meek and sodden.
mis- back hair matted with the bruised
blood Of his grizzied head. Everybody
feels sorry for the man. who has no plea
sure IN life except to fever his throat
with fiery liquid, a serf to the liquor
habit.
SCHLEY'S BARRIER.
Oncs more returned to the almshouse
the ships barber Of Admiral Schley-
Poor Dan Shelly"
Money talks. but whisky has a, vio-
lent volubility of its own. and is the tap
root of all the evil in the Police Court.
but, unless money has the last word, the
question is indeed a serious one.
Easter Taiiaferro (colored) marched
to the front with a clean handkerchief
tied around her head, and her hands
under a white apron. and showed her
anxiety to face the Great Dispenser that
had to be curhed with a stern demand:
stand aside until you are Called
Easter was charged with being drunk,
and creating q disturbance on the street.
Saturday night and. Easter having no
money 10 meet expenses, tried the clean
apron to impress the Great Dispenser.
Two and a half" said the Great Dis
penser, while Easter was yet taking q
long breath to tell a, winning tale.
II haven't got it, gasped the dramat-
lie Easter, and then recovering from the
shock danced the cake-walk 10 the pen
while the Sergeant was CRYING in stem
torian tones for Michael Mahoney ana
p j. McDonough.
Eiectioneering whisky? interrogatorily
remarked the Great Dispenser. p j. de-
clared he never drank. and Michael said
he. was only little drinky-
Mike declared that p J. had been
talking about his brother who was clear
cd of the charge against him Of stealing
money, which was dismissed in itfle Police
Court a few days ago. P. j. denied that
he had mentioned the subgic. Mike
said he had only called him '.durtee
white man. the rolling of the RS giving
dynamite force to the expression.
With no witness 10 corroborate either
side, the case was dismissed.
TO STOP Is FATAL.
Joe Jenkins and Joe Paul, colored
tramps from Pennsylvania, said they
were only passing through, but they made
the fatal mistake of stopping and will
spend fifteen days cracking rock to fill
street sprinkler.
Robert 4Shoke came up the left aisle es-
rorted by his best man. the officer in
charge of the pen. while Mrs. Mary Shoke
walked up the right aisle and met the pro
cession at the railing. while the choir
sang "There'll be a Hot Time
Robert was charged with cursing and
abusing his wife. The madam said She
had stood it as long as she could and then
swore out a warrant seven weeks ago.
She said when Robert got n cent Of money
ne looked like he'd break his neck to
get TO a bar-room.
The Great Dispenser inquired particular
" after the manner in which Robert divi-
ded his money with his wife, and laid
down as a principle that every man ought
to turn his money over to his wife and
let her divide it. except ct the time for
buying spring hats, and then the man
had better look out for himself.
On the faithful promise that he would
go to work and allow the old lady to
draw his pay at the end of the week,
Robert was given his freedom, The old
lady, was called back and adjured TO be
liberal with 1.-The old man" when she d.