Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-07-03

| appeared with the duly-accredlted OIL
GERS of the court and with the subject of
| debate shut IN a box, in the road before
| the houses of the claimants. Just at
roOsting time he turned Biddy loose; she
shook her feathers and made straight for
her own perch. You get the hen,
said "Josey'' to the successful claimant,
and l assess you SO costs, judgment
suspended until you come into court
| again"
There is a story of Mark Twain by
a gentleman who lived near his residence
at Hartford. One day the humcrist an
swcred the telephone, and after hello
ing for some time without an answer,
| he used some language not generally
seen IN print, but which was certainly
picturesque. While thus engaged he
heard an answer III astonished tones, and
vine whom he knew very well. rs that
you. doctOr?' questioned Mr.. Clemens
L didn't hear what you said. My butler
has been at the telephone, and said he
couldn't understand YOU
Clergymen Of the past often had traits
| of individuality which are perhaps not so
common at the present day, says Youths
| Companion. Archbishop Sumner was
| once holding a confirmation in an English
| parish church, when he observed that a
number of people were standing in the
aisle although several peWs were empty.
He stopped the service, and asked the
| reason.
The pews are private property" an
| swered a man, "and they're shut up
There can be no such thing" said the
bishop, au1horltative.y. Let the pews be
| opened.
I'VE can't open 'em!' shouted someone.
| They're locked"
is there locksmith here?"
Yes, my lord"
Very well; let him remove the locks.
A hymn viii. be sung MEANWHILE
So the locks were removed, the audi
ence seated itself, and the confirmation
went on.
But don't you know it isn't right to
ride your wheel on Sunday, Robbie?
You ought to be in Sunday school,
We'll, I'm going to ride my wheel on
Sunday, see? There amt no harm in it.
| Moses rode wheel and [ bet he rode Oh
Sunday. too
WHY, Robbie, what are YOU talking
about? How do you know Moses rode
wheel?"
The Bible says So
THE Bible says so? Where?
''Why, Moses says somewhere, so my
uncle told me, % Lord, watch over my
safety while l sleep"
Robert probably will ride next Sunday
if it's pleasant.-Albany Journal.
-:O:-
1t is the dead of night, says the Detroit
Journal. That is not another story, I'M
derStand.
With straining ears the woman listens.
She hears her husband enter the house
and walk swiftly through the parlor
All mer' she signs. He has knocked
nothing over. The room is not yet ar
tiStically furnishedr'
She cries softly to herself awhile, and
then resolves upon the morrow to buy 4
few additional loads of bric-a-brac and
try anew.
We found the savage king wearing
nothing but a silk hat.
"A very unconventional garb"' we pro-
tested.
His majesty laughed heartily, and said:
IF you think this is unconventional
you ought to see king up in the jungle
way. He actually wears russell shoes
conventionality. He's the boy for you"
We were much shocked.-Detroit Jour
nal
A Troy family has recently imported
from the South a lady in attendance,
tropical night, says the Times. But,
though she comes from Virginia, she is
not in favor of victualS being too warm
Horseradish had been brought On the
table one day. The next day Diana was
invited to bring the dish on again Her
reply was: "Fo' de lan's sake, missus,
frew 1t away. 1t got so hot | jess sposed
it was good fo' muffin
-:O:-
DO you mean to tell me that that
man-eating lion of yours got loose and
wandered out into the streets?' Yes
answered the proprietor of the show;
land lot of trouble he made u.s. did
you have difficulty in catching him?'' Il
should say So 1t was hours before we
could get near enough to lead him back
to his cage. You see, some of the bad
boys Of this town had tied tin can to
his tail. arlington Star.
A Kansas paper, finding it impossible
to secure enough subscriptions to guar
antee weekly wages, issued the follow
ing valedictory: LAS we said a few DAYS
ago in our initial number, the daily would
only continue till we could get over the
town and see if il was wanted We
find, after a thorough canvass of the
town, that we could count on about SD
a month advertising for it. Ia! Tar'
-)o(-
II am taking a religious census for our
church, said the young woman at the
door.
L don't expect to live here any longer
than this week." said the man who had
answered the door.
"Oh. well, that makes no difference.
I'll take your name. The one who brings
in the biggest list gets a prize. Illus
trated Bits.
Tommy-"Hallo, Jimmy, what KEEP
you?'
Jimmy-"Me and the old man had an
argument He wanted me to haul some
coal into the backyard
Tommy-'How did it end?''
Jimmy-''In a draw; [ drawed it,
Answers.
Beeman-"Funny about my wife. She
has suddenly developed into quite sing
er. All the time | knew her before we
were married l never heard her sing
once"
Bowman-"Yes, she is a woman Of
good common sense. | heard her sing
last night. Boston Transcript.
School Teacher-"What little boy can
tell us where is the home of the swal-
low?'
Bobby-"I kin, please"
School Teacher-''Well. Bobby %
H.