The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-11-04
2e. Doole9 Closes fbe Campaign
Copyright 1900 by Robert Howard Russell.

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not; put aside all other considerat tons an
vote FIR me-.
F'r you?" Mr.. Hennessy asked. aghast
at the suggestion.
mats Fright" said Mr. DooIey. com
PIdcently' t'r me. Amy other way
room lies. If we vote FIR BRYAN va vote
tr an empty dinner pail. If We vote f'r
MACK We vote FIR an empty coal scuttIe
an lndygisthfon. If We vote FIR WooIIev
ye vote FIR an empty can II We vote
l T Debs ye vote FIR an empty head
fere sure to cast ye'er empty vote fr
something empty anyhow If We wud
keep TN milestone iv tn Philippians
ar-round tn neck iv fair Columbia. vote
MACK. II ye'd take it off an give tn
poor OF thing sOmethin else in tn neck
vote FIR Bryan. Wud We be a slave TO hi
tnrusts at dollar an half a day, vote
IT Mack Wud we be a free workin'
man at dollar day, vote f'r BRYAN
ARE We In favor iv a debased cienage
thin vote FIR Bryan, who believed In If
four years ago. Are We again debased
c1enage thin vote FIR Mack, who sthopped
oehevin' in it five years ago"
There We ARE. Vote FIR me mo fol
low citizens. What have l to say about
tn question iv tn day. says We? NANNY
Things. On tn PhIippeen question I'm
IN favor iv lettin' go Nv tn Philippians.
but holdin' tn Philippines Tn throuble
up to this time is we've got tn islands
but tn inhabitants is elusive. On tn
gr-reat question iV finance I'm in favor
Nv money. L think Everybody ought to
have as much money as tn most prudent
note teller in all. this fair land. What
Kind iv money? TIL kind tha's nearest
ye'er hand whin no vans lookin' AS
FIR thrusts, I'd desthrOy thin. I'd take
IN strongest measures. I'd TURN tn
directors over to tn people that bought
their stock year ago"
But thin questions is thrivyaI. Hin
Missy. If ilicted by ye'er proud suffrage.
III not bother ye'er poor head with
Ph Hppeens an finance an thrusts All.
thin things I'll run mesilf without as
sistance firm tn highply- which Is we.
promise We if be amy chaDst / rise to
this lofty an v ell-paid positions, III see
to 1t that We Wurruk whin they'se wurruk
TO do an We want to do it; that ven have
ye'er house free EXCEPT f'r tn trent; that
ven sleep whin ye haven't insomnia:
that yeSl eat-whin We have food an ape
tite; that yen live to a comfortable old
age, if nawthin' happens to prevint, an
that yell die. 1 promise We tn last with
out resarve. If 1t don't happen I'll paw
tn drinks. Afther that 1 have nawthin'
to do with We. e can go to tn divvle
/ in favor iv NANNY things l haven't
m1ntoned. I'm in favor iv ivrybody be-
in r-rich an prcsp'rOus tn fright man
gettin' tn fright girl, tn childher grow
in up firm angels TO saints. dhrinkin
without drunkenness. life without sick
ness, tn glories " war without tn list
iv casualties, tn abatement Nv fun'rals.
gas bills an discontinue. But what I
favor an what promise is two different
things. Not bein' a pollytician much,
though wanst L was without akel, an
havin' to live here where We can throw
brick through me window whether I'm
iucted or not, I'll not offer to give ye
tn things Id like to see We have, but
tn things ye're sure to get Now ARE
ye with me-
Sure / am not said Mr.. Hennessy.
"Ongrateful man." said Mr. Dooley
1e have missed tn chanst TO give
ye'er country prisiGint such as it has
niver had Gawd help America. 1t will
not be no betther Oft WensGah thin it
YVES Choosdah