The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-09-28

rlr'--"Never mind, dear. Dom, make a
Sc" ~. Of it.
Husband --'What! DO You think III
let him 20 without SAYING what think:"
1lu<han,l--"That doesn't matter. \
little more and he might have ru:! into
ne 49, Tit Bits.
Thu. Scottish American Says that Il
minister in Scotland asked an nrrhin
who was standing looking in at enc OF
the Sunday school W:ndcwS now h.
would like to join the Sunday Srn"'i AM!
grew up 4 good man.
"What sort o Sunday srhu'r i>'t?
'StahliShedT'
EYES," said the clergyman 1T is rou-
nrrtca with the Established church.. Are
you not cuminy in?'
"\a. replied the boy. II tried th,
Established kirk Sunday srhul' last year,
an only cot twa farlin' oranges an a
peck o Sweetirs at tho Christmas 1rr'.
sac I'm gaun tae gle the Free kirk
trial this year..
\ good story is that Of the clergyman
who. while preaching eNteinpor'nenus!y
touched on the subject Of miracles Some
ing the miraculous stories of the Bible.
rs. fo: example. the story of the speech
that Ralaam's ass made to his master.
Lacking Soemnly 1T the congregation
the p:eachcr hammered in his contention
with the II mark: "Nhy should not Cod
max" an ass to sprak-IIc made m" to
speak.
.\rropoS Of the trouble the Shah is
causing at O>tend, q story is being told
by the Ht;san Times OF the first visit IT
EaSredD Din, the father of the prtsen;
monarch. to the King Of the BclgianS at
the Chateau de Lackcn. When he saw
the Queen surrounded by her ladies in
waiting, tho Shah sac TO the King,
''Nour harcm, Sire!'
The question took the King SO much
by surprise that he did not for Il nome 1T
reply and the Shah, taking his silence
for consent, looked critically along the
line and added, mildly but decidedly:
"You will have to renew it.'-The Lon
den Express.
Not long ago an Arizona rarchcr post
ell the Following notice on cottonwood
tree. not tar from his place OF abode.
My wife Sarah has left my ranch when
| didn't DO a Thing loo ner. and want
it distinkly understood that any Man as
takes her in an Keers for her on my &C.
count will get himself Pumped so Full of
Led that some tenderfoot will locate him
for mineral claim. \ word to the wise
is sufficient and orter work on fools.'
The other day an amateur nurse in
South Africa went up to a doctor and
asked him what she must do
'You should have learned that before
you came here the doctor replied. "Do
ANYTHING that wants doing"
The nurse went up to 4 handsome but
wounded Highlander and said:
wv Ill Won LET mo- wa Sh VOur fHr,I'
Yes. but hurry up. Eve had my face
washed six times since breakfast. and
tn res two more ladies I've promised to
wash me. But I hope to get ii snoozc he
fore tea."-london Spare Moments.
"Rur-rd< is intelligent" Mrs. Rranni-
gan observed as she encountered her
friend. Mrs. O'F'lahe,ty. ''Yr can. tarhc
EN- annytng. Me sister has wan that
lives in a clock. an whin it's time to tell
tn time it comes out an says cuckoo as
NANNY times as tn time is
"'TiS wondherful,' said Mrs. OFla-
herty.
1T is indeed" said Mrs. Braanigan
AM the wonderful par-rt of it al is
it's only Il wooden bur~rd at thar
Philadelphia Times.
TcSS-'She doesn't look very athletic."
she DOESN'T
TrSs-"But YOU said she was always
engaged in some college sport
JeSs-"Stupid! l said engaged to-
Philadelphia Press.
In one of Chaunccy NJ. Dcpo;y's stories
he tells Of meeting a man as funny as
himself.
Zone day" said Mr.. Depcv. II met a
~ Il
face. He was Union man, and | asked
! in which battle he had been injured
I'm the last battle of Bull Run, sir,
he replied.
but how could you get hit in the
face at Bull Rum | asked.
"'Wcll, sir, said the man, half apollo
getically. after I had run a mile or two
| got careless and looked back -
Youths Companion.
Wrinklcs.-Miss Passny eyes. and
when he proposed. tried to pretend thar
| didn't care for him at ALL / tried hard
not to let him read any encoura cement
in my face, but he did, Miss Pcpprcy
"Ah! l suppose he could read between
the lines. ''-Philadelphia Press.
The story Of the cyclist who found over
! the door of a Cheshire church the cheer
full text, This is the gate of heaven.'
with the modifying postscript. "This
door is closed in the winter months,'' re-
calls to the Tablet another incongruity
of rather similar kind. Cardinal Man
ming went one day to his publishers for
a copy of book of his own-"Confidenc
in God" The order was shouted down
to the stockroom. whence came the re-
ply, "Manning's Confidence in Cod all
gone" The cardinal heard and smiled.
London Chronicle.
"Alice. your conduct is most rcmarka-
bic. l distinctly heard Mr.. HARRISON kiss
you twice out in the vestibule."
1T isn't true; there's horrid echo in
that old vcstibule. '-Sondag Nisse.
A Problem.-Bobbie with sigh, after
struggling for a quarter of an hour with
his fathers hair brushes)-'I say, father.
| how do you manage to get your parting
so naked W-punch.
What is an agnostic, grandpa?'
! why, it is man who doesn't believe
! in doctors until he is sick. - oonshine.