The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-05-18
KANSAS CLIPS AND COMMENTS

The Chanute Sun cites q crap game
authority who says that "the best
throw man can make with dice is
to throw them away
Sterling Bulletin: The woman who
msrries u blockhead doesn't care to
celebrate her wooden wedding.
A Cswker City school boy defined
an octopus as ian eight sided cat"
and the Record says the two phe.
nomena are about as fr, quently seen.
The man who runs Emporia's fish
market has closed for the summer,
the wicked folk of that town refusing
to eat fish save when crught contrary
to law.
Esther, the Queen" and "Quo
Vadis" are bookeu for Arkansas Guy
at the same time, and "Saphon has
just left town. The stage makes
strange bed fellows
A stock man at LaCygne has a
prize he hog which he calls Fitzhugh
Lee. "Ed Atkinson would be
much better name, fir he Is generally
admitted TO be an awful bore.
Arkansas CITY Traveller: some of
the Kansas Populists will work for
Bryan with the same Zsst and CO.
thusiasm that a boy digs potatoes
when he knows his companions have
gone fishing.
DR.. Anderson, of A bilene, has been
apoDogiziDg to his friends ana pray
ing in behalf of brother who made
an early rush to the Klondike Last
"a hrnt no al a
and the doctor IL now going north to
apologize to the brother.
The Wichita Beacon lows that
many of ElDorado's railroad people
are selling out in preparation to move
to Wichita, having had a tip tnat
the division was to be moved. The
ElDoradO papers are fuming at a rate
that indicates a desire to "douse the
Beacon's glimm."
Joe Bristow, Of Kansas. has been
selected by the government to 90 to
Cuba and strsighien out the postal
muddie. 1t IL beautiful to behold
the increasing frequency with which
the Goddess of Liberty lay her
treu bled head upon the broad hosoms
of the some of Kansas.
The Kansas kicker works both
ways. Recently he was roaring
about all the grasshoppers being
dalled "Kansas" grasshoppers, and
now it is learned that the British
lived on them at Mateking, he kicks
that as soon as the grasshopper
learned his usefulness he quit the
state.
An English doctor has advanced
the theory that the cause of malaria
near Rome Is the mosquito and it is
believed that by annihilating the
bird the disease will disappear. 1t
is q well known fact that the itch fol-
lows the chigger In Kansas and
Uncle Sam should take steps.
1t Is now being told that the way
Prof. Weltmer, the Nevada magnetic
healer, got into trouble with the
postal authorities, was by continuing
to send "absent treatmentn toa Kan
sas patient two weeks after the
latters death, and the Kansas post
master Immediately began kicking
because he knew not where to for.
ward the letters.
Little boy joke from Kansas: At q
gathering near Axtell a sleiRht Of
hand performer was performing the
old trick of producing eggs from hat
when he remarked to little boy:
"Your mother can't get eggs without
hens, can sheW "Of course she can"
replied the lad. "Why, how is
thAi?" asked the conjurer. "She
keeps ducks" replied The boy, amid
roars OF laug hter.
ElDorado Republican: Ewing Her
bert, who was q typo on the Republi-
can, in an early day and who In COM
pany of w. A. White, used to throw
watermelon rinds from the office
windows down OIL the "leadInR citi-
zane," and who used to 90 to the
other print shops for italic spaces
and left-handed shooting sticks, has
purchased aud will operate the Atch-
ison Champion. Mr.. Herbert worked
on the Champion In early days and
Is now editor Of the Hiawatha World.
one of the best all round country
newspapers In the west.
Mrs. VIM. Rogers was killed by
tornado the other day in Hodgeman
county. She and her daughter had
gone to cyclone cave on seeing the
storm approach, but she returned 10
the house to close door and was
caught in the storm. A young lady,
the granddaughter of Mrs. Rogers,
also failed to reach the cellar. She
was caught up into the air to q |
height OF forty feet and was then car.
ried for a long distance, alighting
without any injury and her hair
scarcely out Of curl. The house was
lifted In the air and deposited some
distance from the cellar. All the
furniture was sucked and wrested in
to fragments. sewing machine, made
of iron. was found a long way from
the house literally torn to pieces.
Leaning against the fragments, how
ever, was large mirror that hadn't
received scratch.