The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-07-27
KANSAS CLIPS AND COMMENTS

To be happy chew your food more
and the rag less, is the terse rul of
the Newton Republican.
A folding bed factory is about to
close in on Ottawa, that town
having offered $4,000 for the ex-
perience.
Among the assets which the Kansans
turned in more than usual this year
were 1000 piano stools, with pianos be-
side them.
The drug store habit is so fixed in
Lawrence that when horse went on a
jamboree it made straight dash for
the front door of the leading drug
shop.
L. A. Allen, live stock man of
Kansas City, has theory that the
hot winds are due to wheat cutting,
the wind missing its usual moist fields
and getting hot.
Vic Murdoch suggests that since
Minister WI has been 50 successful
in finding Conger, he should begin at
once an attempt to open communica-
ton with Aguinaldo.
A Wichita man has had a call to
to join Beach q Bowers min
strel show. All Kansas products are
so high now that this man developed a
high tenor with ease.
Severy hired the Fall River band
for the 4th and the contract was settled
but when the Severance committee
sent temperance pledge for the baud
to sign they threw up the job.
Lawrence, which silently stood in
bottomless mud for years without a
ner was slow about his electric line
building and will begin paving.
Ewing Herbert. who is trying to
make Ed Howe divide the Atchison
newspaper field with him, has the
motto who's Afraid, scattered
promiscuously through his paper.
1t is reported that tramp with a
thirst inquired of Chanute's mayor
where he could get drink of whisky.
The tramp thinks today that he
simply happened to run across dumb
man.
Lawrence is so full of Belgian Hare
clubs, and the rivalry is so intense,
that one has been started which is
hoped will be the real thing. Only
people with hare lips are allowed to
belong.
The Topeka Capital notes that at a
recent meeting of the Lawrence Belgian
Hare Club members were present from
| 10 to SO years old. From hairless youth
to hairless old age the Belgian hare
catches them.
A. +. Stilwell allows three years
for thecompletion of the Topolobampo
road which is to connect Kansas with
the Orient Wonder If all the men
who are shouting for that road are in
favor of expansion
The fasteners who swore at Kansas
City during convention week as the
hottest place this side of ''yonder, "
are dying by the score since returning
home. The sudden change TO hotter
climate has proven fatal.
Abilene Reflector: Salinas street
fair will be a hummer. The local
papers report that there is a prospect
of getting midway company that
travels in II cars and carries all its
wardrobe in one valise.
The Council Grove Republican is
puzzled. II has BEEN found that the
Esquimaux ware tight belt around
their stomach to keep the cold out,
while Kansas dudes wear one in sum-
mer to keep the heat out.
Few ills which white flesh is heir to
seem to effect the red men, but the an
nouncement that the Pottawatomie
Indians will give green corn dance
at Mayetta, Kansas, indicates that the
red brother occasionally has collie.
An old negro, in his 9Sth year, liv-
ing at the Emporia poor farm, blind
and infrm, was baptized last Sunday
and Joined the church. In spite of his
aflliction he has seen, and the Bibl5
says he shall outrank Jay Gould lover
there"
Kansas City Star: Little Nellie
was learning to read, and part of her
lesson ran thus; "Thecat has a rat. >
"Huhn she exclaimed. 1.-The mar
who wrote this book didn't know
much. Cats don't have rats: they
have kittens"
a Montgomery county woman who
applied for a divorce got what she
wanted. She also got the custody o
two minor children, all the persona
property, possession of the farm fo
the present and 81 a month alimony
1t looks as though she had skunkeC
the old man.
An Oswego man stole Il sack o.
meal from neighbour and the next is
sue of the local paper contained
gentle hint that "the man who tool
that sack of meal from my house anC
owing to the sitting of the mea
through hole was easily tracked t,
his house, had better return it,"
DR.. Pearsons, of Chicago, ha
offered Bethany College, Salina, $25,
600 if the college will raise $500
more, and Prof. Swensson has starte
/ out for the money. Donations t.
| Kansas colleges seem to be all base
on the theory that the Lord helps thos
who help themselves.
A mover in a brokendown Wagon
,ritb a ctua VI IN ply hnpca t,.a fnnr Ia q