The Washington weekly post., 1900-12-18
nsa GERMAN c0BBLER.
He Makes Combine with an Undertaket
TO Push Rusiness.

OHe uay Vhen 1 don't haf something's
to do a man con es in My place und SAYS:
Look here. cobbler. we shall go into
some combinations. You help me. und
help you. / vhas dot undertaken who
starts in peesness on der next block. und
| can send you twenty customers week.
When peoples cum to my place, l says
to dem:
DO you know dot German cobbler?
Vhell, he vhas a rusher, und he yhas
sheap prices, You so to him. und he
vhas all right?'
=" 'Und When some peoples cum to your
shop you should say:
DO you know dot undertaken down
der street? Vhell. he yhas boss, und IL
you patronize him once you vhill be sure
to come again.
After dot undertaken goes avhay l
talk nit my wife, und she says maype II
vhas all right. j like II better If Il vhas
some tailor or butcher, but poOty soon
When an old man nit lame back comes
in 10 get cement patch on his shoe |
says:
'Vhell. maype You vhas going 10 die
dis winter, und it yhas good for you to
git der lowest price und der best treat
ment. / like 20 recommend my fr'endt
Jones TO you.
" 'Cobbler, vhas you talking TO me?
asks dot old man ash he looks at me aw-
ful sharp.
"'of course. I like to see you get some
bargains II you die. 1t yhas no use to
pay some undertakers one hoondred doll
lars to bury you When you can get her
done for seexty. Go down und see my
fTendt before der rush takes place.
Il II
calls me names und wants 10 hit me nit
his cane, und he says he shall drive all
my customers avhay und send me py der
poorhouse. He makes sooch a big row dot
feefty peoples come around und belief
somepody vhas killed by der street cars. 1
can't see why he gets his back oop. but
when he goes avhay anodder man comes
in and cries oudt:
Hello, cobbler. but dot combination
yhas all X O. / vhas down TO see Jones
und look oafer some bargains und he
recommended me to you. He says your
work vhas good und your prices sheap.
How mooch 10 put some soles on my
shoes?
"Feefty cents / says.
'Nonsensei Dot vhas der old figure be-
fore der combination. If / can buy so
coffin for SOS do you belief shall pay you
feefty cents fur new soles? You make
der price 25 cents und go 10 work
81 couldn't do dot. und do you belief dot
man shouts und yells und kicks around
und says he can lick me in one minute by
two clocks? He calls me robber. t'ief und
liar. und some more peoples come running
und ask where der fire vhas. / like 10
give OOp dot combination right avhay. but
don't haf time to see DER undertaken
before fat woman comes in nit an old
pair of shoes 10 be fixed. Dot womans
yhas so big und fat dot she can hardly
come In der door. und she haf some ssth-
ma Ger worst kind.
"'Nhas you in some combination nit an
undertaken she asks as she sits down.
II vhas. IL you Ike TO BUY a coffin
und haf a pair OF shoes fixed al der some
time, can do bully by you
" Dot vhas peesness. cobblar, yhas
expecting 20 die eafery day, und OF course
/ like 10 be buried as sheaply ash uossi.
bic. While ] lif ! must wear shoes, und
so you can gif me figures on shoes und
burial Don't try 90 swindle me because /
yhas fat
lean or fat Our goods vhas DER best
und our prices der lowest. 4 vhm saw
seexty dollars for al. II you die Ia der
night, IL vhas no deeference.
'Seexty dollarP she says. Why, dot
vhas robbery. IL somebody don't bury
me for forty dollar. den ! lay on top der
groundl Cotbler. ] Was Fat womans
und dying womans. but YOU can't swim
de me. Make dot price forty dollar. und
We shall talk IL vhas forty dollar. und
shall haf seexteen hacks al der funeral
" 'seexty dollar vhas der lowest figure.
said Dot vhas an awful discount. but
We likeio do peesness und satisfy der peo-
pies. We yhas here 10 stay. IL you come
once. you vhlli come again
Forty dollar. or | III on.
- 'Seexty dollar. or no trader
dot womans vhas some deeeiver. She
looks like leetie lamb. but when ! don't