Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-03-18
money" protested Mrs. Bowser.

No preparations had been made for
removal. Mr. Bowser entered the bed
! room to find the bed undisturbed, but
with one wide sweep of his arm he
gathered up blankets, sheets and pill
lows and carried them down the hall.
Then he returned and gave the mat
tress twist and a whirl which flop
ped off the bed and out of the door,
and the springs came next Mr.. Bow
ser was working on ragtime. No man
can pick up set of bed springs to the
tune of Yankee Doodle" The cat saw
the impending calamity and leaped to
the top of the bureau. AS Mr.. Bowser
heaved up the springs and gave them
bounce he lost his balance and went
down with a crash and, having no
where else to go, the springs followed
him. He was fighting them off with
hands and feet when Mrs. Bowser
looked in at the door and exclaimed
THANK heaven that the life has not
uSCA VI uoIlSQ OuL VI yOu.
Crushed be hanged" he yelled, as
he got rid of the springs and stood up.
IF you imagine I'm the sort of man
to be crushed under a blamed old set
of bed springs you don't know me-"
81 knew you'd have trouble, and that
was the reason l wanted YOU
There's no trouble about it. The
burned cat tripped me up. I'm big
enough and old enough to boss this
job, and you get right back down
stairs and attend to your knitting"
There are two ways of taking down
a mahogany bedstead weighing a ton
liarly his own. His first move was to
grab the footboard and wrench and
twist and draw the whole bed across
the room and push it back again.
Then he stood off and kicked at the
rails until the heels flew off his slip
pers. 1t was a sudden inspiration
which caused him to lift up on the
ends of the rails, and to his great sur
prise they were loosened from the head
and footboards. The footboard he
managed to move down the hall with
out accident, but when he came to the
headboard, which had been brought
over in the Mayhower to ballast the
ship, he realized that desperate
struggle was at hand. So did the cat
and in her wisdom she retreated to the
hall to await events.
"Why in thunder my great grand
father didn't use this lumber to build
d horse barn is more than can make
outl" growled Mr.. Bowser, as he sur
veyed the massive structure, and wait
ed for his second wind.
1t had to be moved, however, and
there was no time to call up the
Coast Wrecking Company, or figure
on the hydraulic power. Mrs. Bow
ser crept up and sat on the stairs,
and the cat walked to and fro in the
hall, and had nervous tremors, while
Mr.. Bowser moisteneC mis- hands and
looked furtively about for a point of
advantatge Suddenly he jumped
forward and made an attack. His OBJ
ject was to take the bedstead by sur
prise, and run it down in the hall
IN, e.a1f
defense. He succeeded to a degree
that is, he got the cumbersome mass
clear of the wall and on the move for
the door, and Mrs Bowser was be-
ginning to breathe easier and the cat
more hopeful, when there was yell
of terror and a crash which shook
things clear down to the cellar bot
tom. The headboard had bucked. Mr.
Bowser thought the whole east side of
New York was leaning over him for a
moment, and the jump he made as he
yelled out ought to be preserved in the
history of athletics. He struck his
head against the wall with bump
which made him see stars, but he had
saved his life.
Il knew it," said Mrs. Bowser, as
she looked into the room and saw the
headboarG fat on the floor and Mr..
Bowser wiping the dampness of his
bald head.
HAS anybody asked for your opin-
ion?" he replied as he tried to assume
a careless air.
4 thought you were surely killed.
l hope you will not let the rest of it
go and send up man. You see, you
don't know how
"Oh, l don't, Ell? But III show you
that | do. I'll clear this furniture out
If / break both legs and drive my head
through the wall"
!, ~. Bowser went back to her seat
on the stairs. and after lifting her eyes
in appeal the cat got as far down the
hall as she could. It was Mr.. Bowser' 5
plan to lull the headboard into feel
ing of security by giving 1t brief rest
while he tackled the bureau. To get
the bureau out he must move 1t over
the headboard. He had no statistics
at hand to consult. but he had great
confidence in his lifting powers. Mrs.