Evening journal., 1900-11-02
SandtOWnStateSmaD Resumes
Political Functions
WARNED AGAINST DRINKING
Jones Advises Mary Ann 10 Max
Money by Starting a Rum
mage Sale

ntiln lHt DIOletlluB wing Ol lut re
publican eagle, and, his mind illumined
by the rays from the Union Republi-
can star, plucked q piniOn feather from
the bird of freedom, and wrote the
following letter to his devoted wife
Mary Ann, who pines for him in the
seclusion of their Shoestring district
home. The manner in which It came
into the possession of the Evening
Journal is a state secret
Wilmington, Dellywer,
Oktober 29, 19 hunderd
Mrs. Mary Ann Jones,
Sandtown, Shewstring Deestrict,
Kent kounty. Dellywer.
Mi dere Mary Ann: Well, I'm out
agin. Wen / WIZ arraned in the Mu-
nisipple Kort, Jedge KolIran lookt at
me an sed: bill I'm mitey sorry to
SEQ yu yere." He said hit jest that
A away. l sez, med, yu hain't a bit
sorrier to see me yere than / am to be
yere." He drawed hisself up. hit the
desk with his wudden MALT. an sed
"Bill, yu'll have to stop calm me Ned
an call me jedge. | demand hit, not
fer miself, but fer the dignity of the
& offs ! now hold Wen we're together.
an nobody else is around, yu kin call
me bimi furst name, but in publick hits
mi desire to be called jedge. Hit
sounds better, an makes me feel bet
ter Wen I'm DRAWN mi sallery. Mister
Adams, jes make hitOne Ofthe standin'
rules of the kort, an see as how hits
lived up 10. I've nOtist as how you've
fergot yerself several times yere lately
Then he lOokt at me agin' an / sed
"Yu aughter git hi hat an black
clothes like Jedge Sprooens an Jedge
Bradford dun wen they wuz appinted
jedge. fer this yere things glttin
sollem."
He didn't pay no more attenshun to-
me, but termed to an offiser and sed:
"WOt's this yere feller accused OF
doin'." "Gittin drunk. yer honor" sez.
the oifiser. That's terribul," sez the
jedge. "Wuz there emmy extenuatin'
serkemstanses? Il didn't see nun,
SEE the offiser. There miteabin, but
hit wuz dark wen l found him layin
in the alley, an l mite have overlook
ed EN- wen / picked him up. Ac-
cordin' to mi way of thinkin' hit wuz
nuthin' but a plane case Of drunk.
The jedge seemed to be terribly broke
up. He lOokt at me with teres in his
eyes an sed: "Bill, have yu got emmy
thing to say in yore behalf-wot made
yu git drunk?" "Wisky," / sez. Don't
yu no hits rong to drink wisky?" he
asst. That's one thing a feller never
shud drink. How cum yu to do hit?"
l SEE, sum of our fellers cum up from
the Shoostring deestrict to here Mis-
tor Brian, an wen they saw me, nuth-
in wud do but l must git drunk, an
I dun hit" "Terribell terribel!" sez
the jedge. HAS ennybody yere got
a block book?" Mister Adams spoke
up an sod: Il have, yer homer" Then
On
IL a Dimmokrat or a Republican" sez
the ledge. Mister Adams termed to the
jays, and lookt up kinder sollem like
an sed: Hes down yere as a Repub-
lilSin.' Hit gifts more an more terri
bel" sez the jedge. BILL Jones, stand
up. I have made dillygent an pains
takin' inquiry, an find there hain't no
mittigatin' serkemstanses in yore case.
No Republican hain't got no rite to
take advantage OF Mister Brian's pres
ence in the sitty of Wilmington to git
drunk Hits apt to make the Prohi-
bishunists more acktiye an git the
temprens Dimmokrats down on Mister
Brian. The sentence of the kort is
that you pay a fine of ten dOllers an'the
cost Of prosseRushun, an you are com
mitted to the kustody of the cheef of
polees until this yere sentence is kar-
ried into effeekt. But take mi advice
an leve wisky alone, fer eff yu KUN
yere agin' I'll make an objeck lesson
of yu." Charley Kittinger pade mi
fine, an / resoomed mi politikal funk
shens.
see bi the papers as how Hermin
Goodin beet John Dill fer the Dimmo-
kratic nommynashun fer representa-
tive frum the Shewstring deestrict.
wunder ef John will stay beet2 The
Dimmokratic County Committee has
Civ him a crooked dele. an no mis-
talk, an there hain't no tellin were
hitll end, fer them Dills is mitey set II
thare ways.
Mary Ann, 1 here sum talk of how
William Mil1el Bern is goin' to leave
Dellywer an throw out his shingle il
Moo York l do wunder eff hits so
We'll sertenly miss his lite latter an
meloadyus voice eff he duz that; but
CESS he won't make no sech move unit
after his term as Yoonited Stait
Deestrict attorney is out.
Jedge Sprooens is up to his eyes II
wurk. He's hearin' hole lot Of reg
istrashun appele cases, an the en-
hain't yit. He's got severil days c
hard werk ahed Of him an mayb
he'll hav to sit up sum of mites t
recktify the mistakes OF them ther
Dimmokratic registers. Us fellers ha
got the DimmOkrats on the run, al
hits serprisin' how well they XII
sprint wen they have to.
We haint gOin' to send out enn
serkler letters this kampane becav
we've herd as how the Dimmokrats
goin' to do hit fer us. There hain't n
end to the magnanimitee of them fe
lers. Ef emmy Of the boys in II
Shewstring deestrict gifts letters pc
portin' to cum frum the Republiki
committee tell EN- not to pay no a
tenshun to them, fer they're bogus
IF we have ennything private to sa
to our fellers well print hit in the r.
publlkin noospapers.
W0t duz Bob Rennelds think Of