The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-14

sheet of paper. Then it was turned
over to one of the phonograph opera
tors, who sang it into receiver.
They tried the record on the phono-
graph amid renewed demonstrations
Of unholy mirth. / Finally it was care
fully wrapped up in the paper which
had been taken from the original rec
ord deposited by Hilton in the clerks
desk. z. ~ -zzEzzs zzzzzEszzs3s3aa. IA. Z*.6
Now, photographic records are fat,
thin disks Of black rubber, and one
looks. exactly like every other. There
fore, when the job was completed not
even an expert could have told that a
change had been made without test
ing the record on a phonograph. =
Gaddis, Atkinson and Stroply car
ried the new record back to the club,
and, while the clerk was in another
part of the house, put the little pack
age into the drawer from which they
had taken it. Then they sat down in
uneasy attitudes about the library to
await Developments r. r., ,s
Hilton came in a few minutes later
on his way home. He got his pack
age from the clerk and stopped for a
minute in the doorway of the library
to speak to the boys. ~. +. - Z
When we get settled, boys" he said,
II want to have you all out to dinner.
I wish ] could ask you out tonight, SO
that you could hear the new song that
worried you so much.''
! YES" said Gaddis. eve wish you
could" . --.>
Then the unconscious Hilton went
| blithely home to his destruction.
Here it is, my DEAR said Hilton
as he handed the fatal record to his
! wife. II had a. terrible time getting
it. went to every place in town be-
| fore found it. It took me almost two
| hours u
| Hilton was properly rewarded for his
devotion, and then dinner was an
nounced
TIL put it on the machine right
after dinner said Mrs. Hilton; "I'm
just dying to hear it,
! At the table Hilton happened tc
1 mention that he had called at the club
that afternoon and he described how
his ord chuns had tried to guy him
about the bundle he carried.
II told them it was a photographic
record" he said. when they wanted
| to know what the song was told them
it was none of their business - !
| This simple and entirely casual ref
/ erence was, as Hilton afterwards aG-
; mitted. all that saved his life: ,,.
\ When the dessert was finished Mrs
Hilton could wait no longer ~
1 Come on, George" she said. *'We17
\ have our. coffee in the sitting room.
/ must hear the new song"
Hilton will remember to his dying
day every incident which followed. He
i moved a small table to the center OF
\ the room, took the cover off the infer
nal phonograph, unwrapped the rec
ord, put it in place, and started to
1 turn the crank l..
/ He still remembers the look o1
pleased expectancy on his wifes face
1 as he began. He remembers even more
| clearly how it changed, first to sur
| prise and then to horror and incredul.
| ity. 20" =, - - -:
| This is the song which the phono-
! graph rendered to the tune. of "Wher
Clarence Takes My Hand:
! When George takes a drink Or two
And starts to paint the town,
He isn't satisfied with red, -.~
But does the thing up brown. Do,
1 He shoots the windows full of holes,
The Holsters all turn pink.
| Policemen die Of heart disease
| When George takes a drink
| i There were other verses in the same
general tenor, giving further details
1 about Georges alleged misconduct
| For the sheer horror Of it Hilton heari
| the thing out to the end
How innocent and sweet he is,
Some people doubtless think s
1 We hope and pray they'll be away
When Hilton takes a drink! ~
That was the grand climax and close
of the song. It would be sacrilege snot
/ to draw the curtain over what follow
ed.-Chicago Tribune.