The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-12-14
A Country WeddInr.

| A Country Wedding.
There is a certain country squire who
has just recently been elected to fill
this very important Office in one of the
| East Tennessee mountain districts He
has very limited knowledge of even
the rudiments of law, yet this fact does
not deter him from the satisfactory per
formance of his duty, for what he lacks
in knowledge he makes up in buster
and nerve" Whenever he strikes a
knot in law he uses the Gordian method
of cutting it according to his own ideas
of justice, and some of the interpreta-
| tions which he delivers with much
pomp and bombast would knock the
supreme court of the United States into
a cooked hat and send the chief justice
to the shade for week.
On the performance of the marriage
| ceremony the squire had made elabor-
ate preparation, but as yet had never
had the opportunity to give himself a
trial. He had set up for three consecu-
tive nights Immediately after his cleo
ton, and had burned up nine yards Of
wick and tub of tallow getting this
sacred legal document in proper shape
to pass the criticism of Hoyle. When
it was duly signed and framed he put it
away.
On this particular day the squire was
busting around in his office with
Waterbury move on himself, prepare
tory to taking few hours leave up the
river, when in came a rustic couple
wanting to get married.
"Squar, we wants We to jine us to-
gether, an, by guml be quick bout it,"
said the young man as he scraped the
mud off of his cowhides on the rung of
a chair.
Good Lor', man, amt got time to
jine We. I'm goin' up the river fer
spell" replied the squire.
Darn the riverr' said the rustic
youth, his eyes flashing, ''Mebbe We
dOan know who is. Use Lige Plum
mer, son NV ole ST Plummer, an him
an my ten brothers 1ected We. This s
Mckinney 'Awkins, datter Nv ole man
'Awkins, Twin over yander cross the
crick. Her dad an his five boys all
voted fer ye, an, darn my hide, eff l
doan kill ever one Nv them votes gin We
eff ye run agin. Now doan monkey no
longer, fer her dad is comm after US
TIL is gun"
Fifteen votes shaved off of the
'squire's majority would mean a differ
ence of thirty votes, and he knew this
would never do, so he began a search
for the precious document which he
had taken so much pains to prepare,
but nowhere could it be found, and the
squire was getting red in the face,
while the couple were getting more
restless at the delay. She kept nudging
her gallant lover and whispering to
him, while he kept his eyes turned
toward the little window, looking
anxiously up the road in the direction
of her home.
Finally he could stand it no longer,
and turning, said, ''Squar, whut the
thunder ye' doing? Weuns is in a
hurry"
''Om huntin' my cer'mony an Bible
replied the troubled squire.
'Oh, durn them things! Weuns jist |
want a plain marriage. Cum on an |
quit that err foolin'."
The squire was at his wits end, and |
the Perspiration stood out on his fore. |
head and fell to the floor in pools, while |
the fire light from an open log fire made |
rainbows in the falling drops. At last |
in desperation he decided to try off |
hand.
"Git to yer places" said his majesty. |
Take off tibet hat"
y
and hid it behind him. His red hair /
stood on end all over his head like the |
quilts on porcupine's back. He shut
fed uneasily from one foot to the other,
and stared out of the window. His
bride to-be looked admiringly up into
his freckled face and blushed as red as
the calico dress which she wore.
why didn't yer como that harp"
asked the squire.
Al IL |
hyar weddin'," replied the bridegroom.
The squire remembered that he was
also in a hurry, so he led off with
swing and plunged zen
medals res, without parrying for an
opening. For shortness, sweetness and
it took the cake.
do We want 'er?" asked the squire,
the bridegroom.
"Yep!" replied the rustic.
Then take 'er, en- may God hev
mercy on We both" reverently said the
ward like dying calf he pronounced a
fervent "amenI"
"'Squar, I'll pay We fer this little job
wen / git tn rest, Nv my corn shucked.
Startin' up housekeepin' s been purity
hard on me an haint got much change
bout; fac is I'm Stropped, but I'll
shore pay ye, squar,'' said the young
bus band, seconded by his newly-wedded
wife.
"Thet's all right, Lige. Jist sport
me in mex lection en- We'll call it
squar."
by gum! III do 'er," he answered,
an much 'bliged fer yer doin' this job
up quick. Now, Mckinney, we're ready
Ter yer dad"
He took her hand and they trudged
OFF down the hill as happy as pair of
arks on a bright June morning. Old
Sol was bathing the face of nature in 1
hood of golden sunshine and all the
birds were singing on this glad Novem.
Der day as if they were vieing with
Zach other to see who could sing the
Iweetest wedding march. Mid such
bright scenes these simple children of
nature began new journey of life to-
-ether. Although the ceremony was
lot according to Hoyle, as the good old
squire had intended, yet who will deny
hat they were truly married. "As a
pan thinketh in his heart 20 is he,H
sTs thS coed book.