davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06
MAN WHO CALLS YOU Uu...

He has a most annoying way; SO quiet, yet
so grim
He listens all serenely to the things you're
telling him;
He seems so interested and so thoroughly
impressed
That before you know what's happened
you are swelling out your chest
And piling up small fictions with more
tlIency than art,
Because you think he's easy and imagine
you are smart.
And he bends his head to hear YOU and mis-
forehead shows no frown;
He lets you tell your story out-and then
he calls you down.
It makes him happy when you undertake
to fix date;
lie quotes the books verbatim as he bland
ly sets you straight.
And when YOU say: ''I'n bet you fifty dol
lars" he will let
His eyelids droop little md remark 81
take the bet
And when you tell the story which in in
fancy you knew,
He smiles and gives its origin and author
when you're through.
He politely brings cold water all your ar
rogance to drown.
He's a diabolic terror is this man who
calls you down.
so, friends, If you should meet him. have
care and pass him by,
Nor suffer him to fool you with his soft
and kindly eye;
Nor heed the sweet expression OF his guile
less, open face.
Nor listen to the cadence of his voice S
soulful grace.
He is lurking to ensnare you, for his only
joy in life
is to Clt thread of vanity with satire.
like a knife
oh, come, my fellow bluffers-lot us drive
him from the town,
For he makes our lives a burden, does this
man who calls you down.
Washington Star
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06

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The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06
Jumped for the Highest Wager

In the "HiStory of the West Branch
Valley" Mr.. Meginness tells the story
of Marcus Huling's famous jump.
"Huling was walking along the
river bank when he suddenly became
aware that he was pursued by lndi-
ans. Realizing that his only hope
of safety lay in flight, he ran with
all speed toward the precipce at
Blue hill, but the Indians rapidly
gained on him. Driven to the edge
of the frightful prccfpice, with the
savages yelling in his rear, he de-
termined to jump, preferring to die
in this manner rather than to fall
beneath the tomahawk. Selling a
large overhanging branch of tree,
he leaped over the brink and landed
some 30 feet below on shelf OF rock.
unhurt! From this point he jumped
40 feet farther into the river, and
escaped with only diSlocation of his
shoulder The savages were obliged
to run round for mile, and Huling
had time to make his escape, 1t is
supposed that the branch broke his
fall. and saved his life. iluling. on
being asked about it, replied: Il
Jumped for a great wager. jumped
Tor my hfe!'-Iouth's Companion.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06

ing Intercepted by the angular,
somewhat red-nosed Nora as to the
kind of plant the Jobson household in
Washington was; how much washing
there was to be done: the arrange
ments as to the servants day off; the
hours at which the meals were ex-
pected to be ready; the rules and reg
ulations with respect to the serv-
ants reception of company, and SO
on. Mrs. Jobson stood the ordeal of
Interrogation with her customary
fortitude, and when Nora demanded
monthly wages about one-half in eX-
cess of the usual Washington scnle for
coded to the terms.
Twenty-four hours later Nora was
in command of the Jobson house
hold. Upon her arrival she had
rather elevated her already some
what retrousse nose at the size of
few remarks of deprecatoin, adj
dressed to neither of the JobsOns in
particular, she went TO work to see
what could be made of the outfit.
The first meal she prepared was
breakfast, and she fried the steak
instead of broiIng it--a fact which
Mr.. Jobson'S teeth instantly made
him aware Of although he waved it
aside lightly.
shell be all right as a cook when
she gets her hand in n bit" said he,
masticating the leathery steak, Mrs.
Johson said nothing.
Dinner was about half an hour late
when Mr.. Jobson got home from the
office that evening, and the dough
of the chicken potpie prepared by the
jewel Nora was of about the consist
ency of bowling ball.
A couple of days later Mr.. Johson
happened to overhCar Nora give Mrs.
Jobson "A somewhat sharp reply when
the mistress of the household in
structed her with reference to the
proper way to beat the rugs, and he
told Mrs. Jobson that, in his opinion,
the servant perhaps had an unsuh-
dued nature that might require hand
ling, and that he trusted Mrs. job
son would employ mild methods with
her, instead Of austority of manner.
On Tuesday evening last the job
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06
CHAPTER III.

The general election was on. | had
to make four speeches every night, be
sides canvassing during the day.
should have preferred not to- But |
had an agent. He said he was my
agent, otherwise | should have
thought our positions were reversed.
Among other things he made me go
to church on Sundays. 1t was nee
essary. he said, to conciliate the
church people. We also went to the
Methodist chapel to conciliate the
dissenters. The result was we an
noyed both.
At the church I recognized a lady
with Alice's back hair. She also had
Alice's profile. In fact, it turned out
to be Alice herself. She was visiting
her uncle, Col. Western, with whom
she had lived in her younger days.
| told my agent that our great de-
feet was a want Of LADY canvassers,
He proffered his wife. | accepted her,
but said ! would call on Col. Western
and see if couldn't pick out few
more.
But Col Western is opposed to
us"
SHe is most good natured," ! re-
piled. 81 am sure he will lend us a
few"
My agent sighed. He was a consci-
entious man, and had scurples as TO
whether ! was fit person for the
house OF commons. IF he were only
as sensible as some of his speeches."
he said TO my mother once.
Nevertheless ! sent my mother over
TO CoI. Western 5. and she returned in
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06

sons tool, ride down the river after
dinner. Tnry oot back about i'm the
..u.yHborbonl of fru o'rIocI, The
.anr H. rhr ba~rDrut ltnino-r.nm mi.
fr.rr.r them. and tnuy catered the
nn..,. rbaf way.
Nora. under the Nariug light of the
rH.., ua- let's. wa. seated M the
..Ima.rnom tanI. n. FRONT off hrr
,.. L,lrGIrrl IIarl I.rrlr
....u rI. ahr. of rhr Job.Du'. GROCERY
FIN m. -r,Irrlog Iannr- \ ,tr.nrr al
... water a laIrrou~nm,G cam OF
.n.r,.fr,- ana loaf of Nrruna bread
rr.u which most Of rhc crust had
been torn. Nora'- hair was down..
and lr. ewes were unl.G.
\ora'~ terms of rrpro3rh wore not
visited anon the head of Mrs. .Iobson.
Ill. ,,,l y. h.. nuirr com, tu,.d of
H.. r..,. t.aa Mrs .ioI.,un WA. a nrr-
r,., Iirln. ady. and II whole lot too
rood for Mr.. Job,ou. with reference
to whom Nora exhausted the whole
yo.,ahularv of ENUMERATION and scorn.
size ad,rrtcd critically TO Mr.. Job
son from every possibIc point of view
-phy,ical mental financial: and
when She finally seized a rollinp-Din
and Irfrd Mr. Jobson and the whole
universe combined 10 Law finger on
nor Mr. .Iobson felt that he'd rot il
coming and roinp. both ends from
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06

\ young man home from college,
wishing 10 inspire his little sister
with awe for his learning. pointed to
a star and said
isis, do you see that bright little
luminary? It's bigger than this
whole world"
NO faint" said Sis.
yes, il is" declared the young col
legian.
Then why don't it keep off the
rain?" was the triumphant rejoinder.
st. Louis Globe Democrat.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06
How NicrfeIio Got Even.

Iratc Father found my best coat
hanging on the fence, with the tail torn
all 10 pieces.
Daughter (quietly)-You shouldn't
have left il in the hall
"Why shouldn't T."
"Most likely Mr.. Nicefello put il ON
over his other last night, II was lit
tie COO, and cr-I presume YOU for
got 10 lie UP The dog Y. Y. N-pcklY.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06

triumph with Alice, who, as it hap
pens. was a radical of the most un-
bending principles.
We used to canvass together. The
agents wife came too. Alice thought
this best. The agent eXpostulated at
the absurdity and waste of time in
volyed in three people doing the
work of one. We pointed out how
much more thoroughly the work was
done. When we had all had a turn
at the fortunate elector he was not
in a condition to refuse his vote. But
the agent would not be silenced till
Alice got his wife to stop him with
a glance.
The polling day came. Alice and my
mother, the agent and | drove from
polling booth to polling booth. To-
ward eight o'clock the agent came
to me dolefully, and said he feared
my return was improbable. | was
very sorry for the poor man. He
had worked so hard. When l told
my mother she burst into tears. She
must also have been sorry for him.
Alice comforted her like the dear,
kind girl she is.
1T is his own fault" said my moth
er, when she was comforted; ''he is
so fippant."
| assured her he was most serious
minded.
"Who?"
"'The agent"
She became sorrowful. Again Alice
had to comfort her. TO do so she said
kind things about me. but my mother
would not agree with her
"He has disappointed me. He will
not obey me. | have begged and begged
him to pay attention TO Miss Western,
Of the castle. We should have had
their influence" She wept again. Alice
comforted her.
My mother went on: "He will not be
serious If he would only marry some
solid, strong-minded girl! But, no. he
insists on going his own way. Yet I'm
his mother"
Alice turned her reproachful gaze
on me.
81 think it is very unkind Of you not
to marry when your mother tells YOU
to-"
"But the ladies won't have me-"
81 don't believe YOU everaskgd them"
"To do so would be preposterous.'
"Why would it be prepostcrous?'
Take your case. for instance
"My case?" She blushcd violently.
~ Y
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06
A%%%*@<t+<$%%%<%%<4+++4*@+
/ JObSOn'S Seaside PrOteSe !
hNGRS. JOBSON." said Mr.. Jobsou

lVl to Mrs. Jobson on the hotel
porch down at the seaside ON the
evening before they returned to
Washington. two weeks ago, 81 wish
you would be good enough to let me
have your views on the subject Of
colorcd servants. based upon the
tumultuous experiences you have had
with the several scores of Them that
have been in our employ during mar
ried life in Washington"
Alarm, of course, was instantly de-
picted in Mrs. Jobson's countouanrr.
"Why," said she, you know that
we have never had any trouble with
Josephine during the two years that
She has been with us. and aw sure
no one could ask for better girl
than she"
"CouIdn't they?" cut in Mr. Job
son. as he began to file h- nails
and to lool, ominously amiab.o. And
the sugar trust couldn't ash .or amy
better consumer than that same jo-
>ephinc, could it? And the ten .ua po-
tatoes and coffee and Dire '.meat
combinations haven't had pretty
swell snap of it through the PATRON
age of the Jobson family, due to the
operations of that same Josephine.
since she's been with MS, have they?
And / haven't been feeding more than
2l0 residents OF BIoodticlds and other
sections of the capital city given over
10 the occupation Of"
"JOs"DhinC is a good. honest girl
interrupted Mrs. Jobeon, Stancb.N
"and il have occasionally given her
a few little left-ovcr-'
"This is all completely beside the
mark" said Mr. ,Ioh~on, eraudIIo.
quantIy. "Thc real point is that !
am going to experiment with whit.
servant, and the white servant IS
going to be no less person than the
amiahle, il homcly, middlc-aged III
'.'f woman Nora, who is the
chief hustler around this hotel
~ asked Nora this morning if She
could cook and she told me that She
could. did not suggest the idea
that | intended to offer her employ
mcnt with ~ in Washington, but !
shall expect YOU to put the PROPOSE
tion before her during the evening.
If She accepts, as ! have no doubt
She will. She will go back with us
in the morning, 1t may be that we
shall have to give her wages a trhe
higher than we pay to Josephine, but
she has all the carmarks of a high
grade woman-of-al-work, and I'm go
ing to see il | can't get hold of a
servant who will occasionally pay a
little attention TO me when ! make
humble requests around the house, in
stead of treating me as If were Il
horsehair sofa Of the period of 1884
stored in the attic. as your beloved
Josephine does"
Mrs. Jcbson looked the picture of
CONSERVATION during this speech.
But have been watching Nora"
she finally contrivcd to say. "and
have noticed that when She sucrps
she hestowS all Of the swpepngs un-
der the bureau Of our room. and"
Pure imagination. broke in Mr.
Jnbson. in his iudicial tone "Noro
is a level of tidincss.o
But, worse of an" pursued Nrs
Jcbsou. LOOKING more and ,o,.,
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06

They are going 10 take a census Of
the Philippines, and we shall not he
surprised, says the Chicago Times-Her-
aid, after the work is finished to see
a card from Aguinaldo complaining
that the enumerators didn't cal %
him.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06
Bobby retired, uttering inarticulate
sounds and red in the face.
CHAPTER II.

lie gfIHneu lNhicilNelN
shes in there" he said, jerking his
thumb over his shoulder. 800 and kiss
her"
l took no notice Of his foolish re-
marks, or of the laugh from the group
of men around him. IT is better to ig-
more yu,garity when you have no rep
artee.
/ crossed the room 10 speak o Lady
Marten The room was crowded. As |
was speaking to her Lady lexington
arose from her seat and came to her.
She was followed by a girl, whom rec
ognized Though how she had changed
and how beautiful she had grownD as
Alice.
While Lady lexington was saying
her adieus turned to Alice. | saw she
recognized me.
"Alice, my dear!" said. felt rather
than saw Lady lexington wheel about.
Alice put out her hand and smiled.
| took her hand.
'What AN immense girl you have
big to kss!"
She looked surprised but bent for
ward and kissed her lightly on the
cheek.
"Mr. Merivale," she said, but /
thought she did not look offended.
"Oh. you must still call me Jerry"
l said. hastily. 81 suppose you will be
leaving school soon?"
Lady lexington. who had been re-
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06
+ His Two Constituencies
{%+<<<+t+<<<<<<<<+<%<<<<<1
CHAPTER |.
TT WAS years since we had met, w

4 q wa h ~ a q
W 40 s"IS s'"0' W. W. ','o ,,." cto
4 par '5' ~ "'lS' 80 - .t 5,"'5' la 80,
sli''sNeu ny ''"o s'' Is. ,aa1,
~ ~. W. -, ,,'+ har,id crnaI howl"
-, 90 49,, IT,
' nv" , ta,ns Lrai7o,b communication lint
o.li,,ti,.o. ,,,,,,,.o,,+od ,vo,,,l
mAa,@,,.,,. ,,l,ro onI,. a airrisb oil, :"
"I,,, notr che rasnonIa5 stamn-
~, soat g. ,,.a ,,ar+,5
WLor came down from Oxford
MANY vaors after II was deemed rfces-
sorr tbot I sboprd enoaoe in some use-
fr1 confinement Nv dear mother was
me-, a,,nbotio ~, Tho ,ottar ala
40, a4taT,nt 70 +en,norizo
Mater" I said. II leave the matter
entirely in your hands. I have the
creates+ confidence in yopr discre-
flor
sbo 1.igyol mo +ordor1v ran,orI,fng
MAJ had arwnvs been n oood SON.
yy,horo ~. oyt,+a IN }rarl..bire and
arc !, onr rfft,e .,ya,. count r,. N, gnotes.
Nv ,,,tb.r who i. - woman of sur-
,,ri.;,r n.r,r, i,,,,.df,tal, co,,-
mencad osl,inn many crrfou, ueOnIp 20
orr dinner rorfice In q short tfma
was he occantad conservative cam
didate with Il was iuformed) fair
prospscts of oustfnr the radical menu
Der at the next general election
Politics were. therefore, my profess
sion. OF course. have to make
speeches. but am very intelligent. and
people have published bandbooks
In the intervals. which were not
short. ] lived i'm London happily Lon
don is a pleasant place. and enjoy it,
I wen, out a great deal, knew many
nice girls. and irritatcd many mothers.
| once overheard motarr.ta,l scri-
ously 10 herdaughfer IN conservatory.
l was behind ana adjacent pa IN. and
could not easily get away. she alluded
TO me uufatteringly. and wound mp:
ole I'M. only lbou>agd wear
and win never have much more So
Won mus+ not encourage Gerald Meri-
vals Nnvv mind Gertrude"
Ca,.+,,,la won't ri,t,o IT an, s,,ro Of
a.. 1000, ,,,,r No., ,,.,s li.4ro.,,I
,rh NM ~ n,e+ la+er, ond s+onrad en-
az 49,, 49,. -.
ca 49,. 7,,ito r;abt rooofassI,;I.o -
,inI ,,,;.}, r naI,,,s+ sa,,sa
=. 49,. -,
nul ~ = ''o' '"o". ''Vllu'"T ! ""'
"llLHS' ~ - 81 NllN' h"HN'I'' 'it
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06

Mice What leads you to think
Ethcl's second husband is an improve
mcnt on her frst2
Grace She told ne herself he might
have JAe oTse.-Towu Topics,
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-12-06

rived in Comanche with warrant for
/ one of Hardin's gang who was accused
Of stealing cattle. He soon learned
that the desperate and his fellows
were embatt'cd in the saloon, but,
nothing daunted. tied his horse anden-
tered the back door. which was open.
Hardin knew him and the moment he
put his face in the doorway shouted:
Hello Webb! What do you want
here?"
I've a warrant for Sal Shelby" the
deputy was saying as he pulled the
/ document half out of his pocket. But
Hardin shot him through the heart,
adding: 81 guess you won't serve it'll"
In the party with Yves Hardin when
Webb was Shot was Joe Hardin, a
/ younger brother of IVES then posing as
a lawyer, but following closely in the
/ footsteps of his lawleSs brother, and
| with a growing reputation in Co
manche as a desperate and a crook,
. News Of the shooting Of Webb spread
/ quickly over the town, and before dark
! the saloon WAS surrounded by a posse
! Of volunteers. The enraged citizens
| StOrmcd the locked barroom about
4 dusk. and captured four Of the inmates,
| including Joe Hardin. Yves escaped in
! the confusion and rode to temporary
/ liberty on the horse of the man he
/ had killed The posse, determined to
! make an example of somebody,
/ hanged Joe 10 the nearest tree and
! gave his companions hours to leave
| the county. When the coroner exam
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1900-05-26
AFTER SEASON PRICES IN THE HEIGHT OF THE
SEASON AT THE
One Price Cash Store,
Stouffer &c Ensor,
The Corner Store NEW WINDSOR, Md

SUITS fasand whybeause the
sandth andp than
all TO So the regular phis what told
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1900-05-26

fishing of the place are not lost on the
plainsman, he likes the Palo Duro chiefly
because it is the finest place in the country
for the cattle when the northers sweep down
across the plains, for down there it is always
warm and being well watered, there is
enough moisture in the soil, so that the
grass is always green. Every year thou
sands of cattle winter there, never coming
out until spring, when they are fat and in
fine condition On this account these
ranchmen whose ranges are traversed by a
section of it do not need to make any pro-
vision for wintering their stock, and natur-
ally look upon it as the most valuable real
estate in the country.
Despite the advantages of it in the way
of protection for the cattle it has greatly
hindered the settlement Of two or three
counties, which lie to the south of it, acting
as great barrier to all who seek to cross
it with supplies from the Fort Worth and
Denver, which is the great railway Of the
plains, and which swings up along the
canyon not far from it in the whole $50
tuAcs DCtMtCu NhCiC ~ tbSh1
into the Red River Valley, and Amarillo,
south Of which it is first impossible Peo-
pie living on the plains south of it may not
be over twenty miles from the railroad,
yet in order to get to it they may have to
drive FIVE times that distance. There have
been few efforts made to put roads down
the walls, great cuts have been begun in
several places with view of incling straight
down into the canyon, but as these have
only been undertaken by settlers who are
without the means necessary to finish such
enterprises, they have always been aban-
doned As matter of fact, it would cost
ten times as much as it would be worth.
In any part of the country the Palo Duro
would be considered wonderful canyon;
were there mountains and broken country
along its course it would still be pictur-
esque wonder, but yawning right up in the
middle of the unbroken plains which are
level as floor to the brink of its mighty
walls, it is without doubt one of the most
remarkable in the entire country.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1900-05-26
Rivers in South Africa.
From the Fortnightly Review.


South Africa is curious country, full
of climatic and typographical surprises.
The writer's first experience of South
Africa river in flood occurred on the banks
of the Fish river, when, suddenly, trick
ling stream of water, meandering like
thread between tall krantzes or cliffs,
was changed and replaced by rushing swirl
of water leaping up foot by foot to the
height of thirty feet, To stranger the
banks Of torrential South African river
appear abnormally high, especially if he
has only obtained his ideas of river god,
who, like old Father Thames, is carefully
curbed and restrained in fiat, alluvial
country, and flows gently among pastures
and meadows. These African river banks
are like huge trenched burrows intersecting
the veldt, and marked by a thicker growth
of mimosas and willows, the haunt, it may
be, of bushbuck and guinea fowl. Used
as defence in warfare, these banks and
krantzes are ideal places. The very un-
certainty, too, as to when such river as
the Tugela may be in flood is embarrassing
to the attacking party. Far up in the
Drakensberg thunderstorm may have
taken place, and what these South Afri-
can thunderstorms are is realized only by
those who have been caught in them.
They are like great cloudbursts, when the
pent up brooding heat of the veldt seems
to eliminate in supreme convulsion OF
nature Sometimes there is hailstorm,
and the whirl of the tempest is increased
by the rush through the air of sharp ice
laden messengers, which strip the leaves
of the mimosa trees bare, penetrate the
Aeshy leaves of the prickly pear, and
pierce through the corrugated iron roofs
like bullets. If caught in the open veldt,
the rider had best take off his saddle and
protect his head and face by holding it
over them for protection.
But the after effect of the storm is soon
manifest along the countless runnels and
''sulits' of the hills.and sloping ground.
They are filled at once with water on every
side, and, in million ways, system of
swift surface drainage comes into opera
ton. Tributary upon tributary hastens to
the main channel, and presently a yellow
food-a perfect ''Tauriformis Aufdus' =
is going seaward. The Tugela is in flood,
but you may not have known or seen a
single thunder cloud down where you are,
and the sole premonitory sign Of the ava
lanche is the echoing rush heard far up
the kloofs 1t is maxim in South Afri-
can travelling that if you come to a river
you cross it at once if you can, and ''out-
span the further side. For in the very
interval of meal the sweep of the waters
may come and the channel be impossible
The water subsidies quickly, as it is gath
cred not from the slow and regular action
of springs or fountains, or even from the
gradual melting of Alpine SHOWS, but al
most entirely from sudden rains.