The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1900-01-06
A sYMpATHET1c VIEW
Of the Ostrich Race That It Was Re
ported Col. Bryan Would Run.

New York Tribune: We knew It.
There was no truth in the report that
Mr.. Bryan and Ex-Governor Hogg, Of
Texas, had decided to race each other
mounted on two able-bodied ostriches
which the ex-governor owns, The story
seemed to us to be incredible on Its face.
Not that there is anything improper per
&c in ostrich riding. The ostrich II a
useful and interesting, II not particu-
larly noble bird. Its tail feathers are
most graceful, Its power OF digestion Is
enormous, and as a sprinter we believe
It has an enviable record In regard to
its habit Of hiding its head In the sand
under the superstition that It's whole
body Is hid, to which invidious reference
IS often made, we would ask the cock
sure critics why they assume an ex-
PLANTATION Of the transaction that is dis
credita'ble to the ostrich2 As the poet
remarks:
Who can tell what an ostrich thinks
AS he sits on the sands and bllnks and
blinls?
At any rate. the ostrich is a good,
honest bird, and not even Mr.. Bryan
need feel aahamed to be associated with
! It. Indeed, we are sure that he HIM
| self entertains that view OF the ostrich.
Tho question. however, is not what
Mr.. Bryan thlnkso Of the ostrich, but what
the ostrich thinks Of Mr. Bryan. AS
we ell know, the Democratic candidate
for thepresIdencysays things in mag
netlc way, but we doubt IL he could per-
suade even the most amiable ostrich to
| allow itself to be ridden. OF course, MT.
Bryan would be cautious and concllla-
tory, and would exclain, Whoa, now,
birdie!" in his most dulcet tones; but
we don't believe that "birdle" would
whoa" even for a minute. And al
though Mr.. Bryan has shown great skill
in riding hobby for several years past,
we don't think he would be able to ride
an ostrich, even II, by any piece Of good
luck, he did succeed in mounting It.
The chances are sixteen to ono that he
would be thrown.
But the chief reason for disbelievlng
the story remains to be stated. To,ride
on the back Of an ostrich would be. in
effect, to govern It. Such government
OF the ostrich, as we have shown, would
be without its consent. And 1t is i'm
possible to suppose that Mr.. Bryan
would ever accept the principle OF gov
eminent without the consent Of the gov
erned. We are aware that, according
to the press dispatches, Mr.. Bryan has
recently been violating this principle by
going hunting in Texas, for presumably
the hunted animals didn't consent to be
shot. But, unfortunately, we can't be-
lIeve everything we read nowadays,
and, besides, we think the Kicking posi-
-bihtles OF the ostrich would have re-
minded him Of Its non-consent, even II
he had been inclined to ignore II. So
the ostrich story has to be given up.
But not the interest in Mr.. Bryan as a
sportsman. In few days he is to be-
GIN an active pursuit Of the money
devil, universally known as the octo-
pus. Clad In the panoply OF supreme
confidence in himself, he Will track this
Octopus to Its lalr-it is funny, by the
way. how Octopuses live in lairs-and
/ in the hearing OF the whole world hurl
at Il some Of his choicest epigramA