The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-05-27
HOBO'S TRICK TO noon 4 CEMETERY.

this time and H. rapidly rolling np a lot more.
HOBO'S TRICK To noon 4 CEMETERY.
Everything Was Coming His wsy Until q Rail-
roads Energy Made Him a Bankrupt.
What was dc woi.t you ever done. on do
level?" asked the kith Of the hobo Of better
days, ~ they monopolized n bench IN 'Hy
Hail Park. al the close Of n day.
"Of course. YOU don't mean II. old man, but
your question is an inference that there Is "A
lit of things ! shouldn't have done. Bu, | over
look your faulty dic'ion, as they say in literary
circles when a man falls down. But what
makes YOU ask"
"Of course. youse sparrin' for time " replied
the ki,h, and that's all right. wasn't tinkin'
bout iryin' ter beat any record, but III put m
de foi>t dust comm dat you done sometin' in
your time yon wouldn't like ter be wrote up. -
Il wouldn't care To megaphonr nv career.
old man. from the roof of the skyScrcpcr down
the row any more than some Others | know
but J don't mind telling YOU how | played IL
low down on n new town in the Far West"
Il mean de lowest you done. insisted the
kith.
That's what | am going to give You I
reached one OF the boom town, where every
thing was So new that il looked like a fresh
paint sign that the Smart Alccs put on fences
to keep a weary man from leaning M acainst
ON. still ] couldn't find anything to do. All
IN" places were taken. and when you asked
n man the time Of day he pulled out one of them
cards that had printed on il, No more help
wanted one evening overheard a cit tell
another one they were talking about the
future Of the town. and what sort Of n place II
would have on the ma, when the next geography
was got NJ that the town could never be in it
unless somebody died so they could start a
cemetery.
And You offered yourself for n stin?"
IL YOU know the story, old man. III listen.
How could a man make anything for himself
playing The role Of n >tin, unless he was insured
! Ill bet If yolI were on the west side of Broadway
oh q hot day and there was a cellar door open
on the other side whore sunstroke> we're having
a run, YOU go over there and drop in the hole.
You've got about a. much foresight a one Of
those h"g~ that carries his red light aft"
urn IasS' >"n might !9nS to make up your mind
ting YOU ever done, said the kith. changing
m" position of hi' legs.
j va, coming 70 il You mustn't interrupt
the speaker. A. my friend Allen of Nebra ,ka
says ! refuse to Weld any more, cause a man
who yield tn" much i Ike n woman who thinks.
nr trie, e. maze r"ople think she's thinki1g L.
When heard the conversation between the
cts about the needs of a cemetery | asked
one Of EN- If II made any difference how the
first sin conn Ia it They said no. They
preferred that he be shot "a that would make
more in the paper, than If he ju,t quit breathing.
and anything about the town IN the paper va1
what they we're looking for. That pu, me 10
t%hinhirr One day I was picked M on. tine
street Il a overcoming tit reckon YOU don't
know what thai H."
Der ailt but one kind o ~ | was ever picked
ny in, ard you know You didn't hoy do pleasure
% my oi~ie'y fer toity days. answered the kith.
Now YOU, mention It | recall IT, Well when
was picked NJ they took no - the first hotel
handy and put me on "A bed '
the kin, "'"'
Then they wondered who | was. had taken
precautoi 10 remove ever Thing so at 10 des-
troy my identity, and I" deepen the my slerl,
n, the reporters say put a piece OF court
tlaSter over IN" strawberry mark on my left
shoulder. They worked over me six days and
nights, expecting the crisis every DAY. that's
where Eon &C., we'll or You don't In all lha,
tmp ] heard various remarks made n TO what
pee" ~ ground would make the most slightly
cemetery, and some OF the milllOnaires OF The
town jumped up The prices on the additions 10
the town, 10 figures per foot that would make a
New York real cstal" brokers' face look like the
GrSl cash IN a Georgia watermelon, 1t was a
pleasant sort Of a lob. cid man. and me having
brand, ladlcd ont 10y n Young chap who was
hired 10 watch me, On he dead, ! would n liked
20 a changed places with him, for the way he'd
lie 10 the doctor about knocking over that bottle
Of brandy or breaking It. made me long To yet
back into civilization, where lying fctchcs n pre-
mum;
Thai. what you'd "A done, and lost yonr job.
,Whea 4 man has had an overcoming III in u
boom tow he's go, 10 nt out his bump of cute
ness and Fan IT. tell you. OF cours" YOU never
read any French history about how ,ard'nl
R'Chellen plal"d sick 70 get back his place"
u never took much stock in that Frenchv
trash said the kllh.
II know sou drdn't. you can't eat it. Fin
ally there was n consultation"
"Daf- HlllIS serious, SAID the KIM.
III como mighty nigh being serious for mo.
Among those present. A. they say in the upU,r
dough, w.r" N" doctor, the man who owned
me -lEnTlltN-f lTutI fuT IA fpn1nfArt md The I,.
oner. Tor that was one Of the funny things about
that town, although nobody bad ever died they |
and the Mayor was the doctors brol Their. You
can SEQ how much chance a sick man had Of got |
ing on n, p'n,, beard the doctor aay, Wen
case hang, on rlIch longer, for the town was |
buN ing the brandy which the nurse was spill ne |
every gay, ind In" coroner Nald t III bond-
'ouldn b" sold, he reckOned no could do his |
part OF the work, although he reminded The
doctor that he had never sOt on a sun, a, hn
eHpress@d T. Say, old man, are You going to
Il was jest tryin' ter dream o YOUR snrIou,
perdirymegi, replied rhs kith.
Wen. TINS j. where YOU want 10 be- vide
awake. Nfter the consultation they all went
out except the cit who owned the tract of
land he was trying to sell for a cemetery. SO
come 10 ror n minute md ] called him to come
close, and ] told him al NY money wa, on him
! nav caught nun SO We struck u bargain.
was 70 b" cead. II was agreed that the Coro.
nrr Grng a soft mark, was 10 he fixed by the
49, $3.50 - ~ F''T Nv INV lNtIA \ 1
ercls'" we're 10 be on a rJ with the s~wiftness OF
he town. III" cemetery man vas to donate
IN" first SIX feet NJ ground. got II. He took
charge of all tn" Obsequies. from start to finish
ana when vas beng lowered | raised No tn.
I'D and 'nyS. This * not On the dead saVs
And he snyS. Cheese il. or IN have to take back
IN" ground We didn't cat u chance to throw
n much dirt. FOR MAS kird Of leery Of lin. lie
don't thro" on more than four >pade-fnl INIT!
! was ont. He give M" handup and then told
me- 70 >coot - he had Va al M tho hole and
round I over 50 while IL" titled, | -cooted
And You didn't get no stun far oil dat funny
bi2neSss a~kad the k!th. quito awake.
Y our question rHreCt- up'n my hu.in..-
was a stakeholder IN the cemetery
Gee, but dat was u cinch. said the KIM
~
Was u. \ few dav> later the railroad pushed
llselt -tHl further west. 2 new town was started
"Jus, a. ,,G;t "",iJ Nv i SsuI"' W
most I!nlncky man ! ebbar had for y side part
ner Ff you wa handed out a whole pie you'd
drop II and lose II Oh the ground before you'd
know What was in It. Wake me w when de cop