Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-01-13
MR. JOBSON'S LATEST FAD

Dye know" said Mr. Jobson, awhile be-
| fore bedtime the other night II believe
these cold water sharps have got the thing
down about pat? People that believe in
cold water baths the year round, you
| know"
"Yes?" said Mrs. Jobson. in a non-com-
initial tone
Yes" said Mr., Jobson. positively; Il
think they've got the right end of the stu
alton, and. what's more, I'm going to join
their ranks. Met that Jinglebells fellow i'll
the lunch room today. and we got to talk
ing about how it was that 1 felt SO nfcrnal-
ly sleepy every day after luncheon. He
asked me if l took my baths hot and told
him yes. Then he told me that that's what
ais me. Said that hot baths make man
dopey and no-account, kind o.. Told mo
that he took his cold plunge every morning
as soon as he got up. and that ii made him
feel like a fighting cock all the time. Cured
him of dyspepsia too. Jinglebells said, and
he's a picture of health. I'm just going to
adopt that little scheme of his. and I'll bet
that inside of ten days I'll have to be in
troduced to myself I'll feel so tip-top.'
when are you going to begin?' inquired
Mrs. Jobson.
Tomorrow morning as soon as get my
eyes OPEN said Mr. Jobson.
Aren't you going to use any hot water
| at ADJUST enough to take the chill OFF,
Not pint-not a gill" said Mr.. Jobson
Il
matter of that sort? Jinglebels takes his
plunges just the water comes from the
cold water spigot, and that's what keeps
him on edge and keyed up
But don't you think the-er-shock Of
jumping into real icy, cold water would be
injurious? Would is not
NO. Mrs. Jobson: it wouldn't. 1t would
not. That's the way with you women. You
believe in half measures. You're always
trying to fool yourselves. Shock? Shock
nothing! What's the use of people coddling
themselves if they a chance to do them
selves good" l know what you've got in
your mind. You think | haven't got the
nerve to hop into tubful Of cold water
right after getting up in the morning. We'll.
there's nothing in this prosaic life l lead
that gives me half as much fun as footing
you up a whole lot when | get the chance.
Mrs. Jobson, and here's where I've got Il
chance. I'm going to take a cold bath every
morning for the rest of my life, rain or
shine, winter and summer, and if you ever
again catch me letting SO much as a spoon
full of hot water dribble into my bath. I'll
buy you the incest hat that can be pinned
together for money.
well, l only thought that the shock
might be injurious. Mr.. Jinglebells. you
know. is an athlete. and he's always at the
gymnasium, and he's a big man. anyhow
and I thought he might be better able 10
stand
Mrs. Jobson. if you think you're married
to a little, puny. understood, soft-muscled
man, all you've got to do is to say so, with
tut beating ABOUT the DuSi lou lillllh
Jirglehells is grand and all that. do you?
Well. if L couldn't take Jinglebclls and
stand him on his head with one hand tied
behind my back, I'd take in plain sewing
for a living. If you wake up before l do
tomorrow morning, you'll oblige me by
turning on the cold water in the bath tub
and then Waking me up Then III just
show You how a man doesn't coddle HIM
self when he has sensible end in VIEW!
Mrs. Jobson did wake up before Mr.. job
son the next morning. 1t was bitter wealth
er and the sun was trying to break through
bank of cold cooking clouds. Mrs Job
son Immediately let the cold water fill the
bath tub, and it made her teeth chatter
even to look at the spigot. When the tub
was filed she shook Mr.. Jobson
My dear, your bath is ready" she said
as soon as he opened his eyes and looked
around the room sleepily.
Bath? What bath? What kind of an
hour is this to-oh, yes bath-remember
now said Mr.. Jobson, trying to squelch
the expression of dismay that rose to his
features. pa th-uh-hUh--all right. and in
eight seconds Mr.. Jobson was sound asleep
again. Mrs JObSon shook him again, and
this time he had to come to.
breakfast will be ready by the time you
are dressed and have your bath" said Mrs
JobSon, CoOlly, but determinediy.
Mr.. Johson surveyed her out of the
slants of his eyes, but said nothing He
looked as if he felt mighty comfortable un-
der the warm bedding.
Bath, hey" mumh!ed Mr.. JohSon. when
Mrs. Jobson had left the room. We'll, L
S'pose I've got to
He got up, looked out of the window at
the cold. drear prospect. shivered visibly,
put on his bathrobe, and went out to the
bath room. He looked at the water in the
tub with no apparent enthusiasm, and then
he put his hand in it.
.Jiminir' he exclaimed, withdrawing his
hand with considerable siddenness. Then
he put one of his feet in the tub
"Br-r-r-r-r-but that's frigid!' Mrs. Job
son, who wasn't far away. heard him ejac-
,Ia Nor he the her foot in
well, it's heroic treatment, all right
Mr.. Jobson was heard by Mrs Jobson to
humble to himself Then she heard a ter
rife splash. that reminded her Of the tank
fun of a captured walrus she had once
seen, followed by sncrts and gursles and
chokingS and gdSpings, and then three min
utes of stertorous breathing, with some in
distinct mumbling at intervals couple
of minutes later Mr.. JobSon appeared in
his bathrobe.
"Jinglebells, eh?' said he to Mrs. Jobson
Thought he had me topped, didn't you?
Well if there's anything else that you
think Jinglebels can do that 1 can't do,
Just jot ii down, will you, please, Mrs. job
son. and I'll attend to it.
did you enjoy your bath?'' inquired Mrs
Jobson, with the straightest face in the
world.
ENJOY it? reveled in it! It's what I've
been needing for twenty years. It's just
ina gination. this fear people have of jump
ing into a tubful of cold water in the winter
tme-pure, imbeC lie imagination. Once the
plunges made. and you're all right l love
it, and if you ever catch me taking a warm
hath again you'll know I'm not in my right
mind
1t WAS bitter cold the next morning. too.
and when Mrs. Iohson shook Mr.. JobsOn
awake and told him his cold bath was wait
ing for him he looked as if he might. under
other circumstances, say some things to
her. But he got up again and went out to
the bath room, where he repeat ed the per-
formance of the morning before. His CUR
glingS and snortS were more prodigious than
on the morning before and when he
emerged from the bath room his lips were
blue and his teeth We're chattering.
you are chilled through" said Mrs. job
SON
'We-we-wen, wha-wha-what If I ann"
chartered Mr.. Jobson Il f-f-feel 1-like-br
r-r-rough!" and Mr. Jobson rolled under
the bed clothes and covered himself up to
the head. 1t took him fifteen minutes to
get over shaking, and then he got up and
put his clothes.
On the following morning. When Mrs. job
son woke him up for his plunge. Mr.. Jobson
came to with a start gathered himself to-
gether. regarded Mrs. Jobson with grave
austerity. and said:
My bath is ready, is it. Mrs. Jobson?
Well, ii can stay ready rs pretty near