The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-21
IN HOTEL CORRIDORS.


ct make it a rule not to tell funny
things my boy says" said gentleman
at the National THAT is, I avoid it
as Tar as possible for I believe the
smart sayings of a mans children gem
orally strike other people as not being
so awfully funny. I dislike to tell
story that I think is amusing and then
nave my EFFORT result in a forceo ma
ma, and that is the usual result or an
attempt to tell the smart sayings OF
children. The biggest fight ever saw
was the outcome of a man foonshly
telling a bright remark his boy made.
1t was out in Arizona several years ago
and 1 was seated at a table in hotel
bar room trying to read a paper that
was several days old. A man came IN
and Joined a crowd of three or four VINO
We're loafing and telling yarns The
man was all smiles and gladness ana IL
was not long till he opened up with his
boys bright remarks One OF his au-
ditors didn't laugh-not bit: ne walt
ed until the forced ha, has of his COM
panions had died down, took his feet
off the table, and, emphasizing his re-
marks with his left hand in which he
typed question with which all bright
child remarks are closed, L think that
was real bright, don't your said NO,
| don't think that was bright at all.
/ don't think it displayed any more
than the ordinary intelligence anyone
would expect to find in a child the age
of your boy, and I don't see now you
could expect a descendant OF yours TO
make an exceptionally bright remark.
I suppose you think because that child
made an ordinary commonplace remark
that 1t is bright; every happy, proud
parent thinks the same, but the long
suffering public doesn't think so. The
long suffering public has had bright
kids of its own and has the list of bright
child remarks down fine and doesn't
care to have any alleged chlldhood
f1{e Aa1 % hot fcf
when it comes from the progeny of a
man whose actions lead people to be-
HeVe that there is mighty good evidence
of the Darwinian theory. L say this TO
you because you have already brought
up a child and should know better than
to go running about the land gibbering
and driveling like an idiot over the &C
cidental remark of child who Will
probably later in life be cause of
worry and q source of expense to the
country. 1 notice that man who has
those childish gems to dispense to I'M
suspecting people generally CONSIDERS
himself an all-round sunbeam, one
whose absence would cause sadness and
gloom, but he is mistaken. Society at
large can worry through this vale OF
tears without any funny remarks from
Bright Baby Boy and it will feel better
and more charitable towards mankind
by SO doing. l expect to hear those re-
marks from the mothers and consider
it is their blessed privilege to tell them
repeats salvation's story, but when a
man attempts it outside of the sacred
precincts of home he should be called
down hard. There is only one occasion
when a father is at liberty to dilate on
the mental movements of his offspring
and that is when he has invited you to
his house and you are there accepting
his hospitality. Then, urged on by a
fond mother. a little weakness can be
excused but under no other c1rcum-
stances When a man is guilty of tell
ing bright boy remarks at any other
time you can put 1t down that he IS
developing the first symptoms Of mental
decay He is then on a par with the
man who talks politics after election
Charitable friends should watch MS
movements closely until the child mas
made at least two more bright remarks
when their vigilance may be relaxed,
because he will by that time be over
the worst of it. In your case, however,
there is no hope. You have told that
story to me, or in my presence, at least
twenty times and / have decided that
I won't listen to 1t again. l think you
have it bad and should consult doc
tor or take something for it The men
had been friends for years, both having
gone to that country from the same
town in the east and both were shy one
lung They had other points in COM
mon, but the bright boy remark. oft re-
peated, had done it's work
ct had a rather amusing experience
said a railroad man who was swapping
hunting experiences with group of
friends at the Fifth Avenue, land as l
find | am not the only one who has had
the experience L don't mind telling 1t
even if it is a good joke on myself l
was out near EllinwOod visiting friend
who had told me of the splendid hunt
ing that section of the country afforded
we had been to town and were going
home when we passed pond on which
were several ducks. My friend called my
attention to them, but as we did not |
have gun with US it was useless to
stop / kept thinking of the ducks and
when we got home l put saddle on a |
horse, took my gun and started back to |
the pond. 1t was several miles to the |
pond and / soon covered the distance. L |
found that to get up to the ducks l |
would be obliged to crawl through I,
wheat field which was very muddy. | |
was not dressed for that kind OF work |
but l was determined to nave rev OF |
those mallardS and / craWled through |
the mud for what seemed to me to be a |
great distance. Finally | came to barb |
wire fence and got through that by tear
ing my coat. 1 got within killing dis |
lance of the ducks, raised up and as |
quickly as 1 could fired into them Not |
a duck flew and instantly emptied my |
other barrel. The ducks remained where |
they were. Just then a man arose from
a blind in the rushes and asked me If l |
had killed any of them. They We're de- |
coys and never felt so completely sold |
in my life. The man had a good laugh |
at my expense and, after a good deal of |
begging on my part, promised not to tell |
about it until 1 had gone. He didn't |
keep his word, however, and in few |
days believe every man in the country /
knew about it. l won't go out there to |
hunt again for I dislike to be continual |
ly reminded of the occurrence
MY first experience with a hell diver
was just about as bad" he continued. |
9 You know a hell diver is a duck that |
can dive before you can shoot it with an |
shotgun. l went out one day /
when I first eama To this country and |