The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-06-07
WIT MINGLED WITH WISDOM.
Stories Related OF an Irish Judge of
High Repute

(FrOm the London Telegraph-l
Lord Morris. who has served his country
IN judicial capacity for the long period
OF thirty-thTce years. is a representative
OF one of the old families known as the
tribes OF Galway" Lord Morris has new
CT lost that meiiIluous brcgue which dis
J tnguisnes west Of Ireland folk. This char
acteristic provides the groundwork for at
least TWO stories told Of him. On one &C
casion the noble lord. twice an occupant
CT the Irish bench. was present az a we'd
ding in company with Judge Keogh. Nor
ris was lament-ag that he had forgotten 10
throw an old shoe after the bride and
I bridegroom. when Keogh remarked
Throw your brogue after them; it viii do
just as we'll" At another time Lord Nor
rs was sitting Il the four courts as Lord
Chief Justice Of Ireland. when q young bar
rister from the north rose nervoUsly TO
make his first motion The judge had de-
ciared that no che listening TO himself
would ever take him for anything but an
ITishman. which WIS perfectly correct But
Galway could rot understand Antrim. The
Lord Chief Justice leaned over the bench
to ask The associate where the barriste-
hailed from. County Antrim" was the
response. Then asked his lordsAip Of the
Official: Did ye liver come ,-cToss sich
a friShtful acciut in the course OF yer
loife?"
When Lord Morris first went 10 the Con-
naught Circuit. where he had practiced be-
fore has elevation 10 the bench at the early
age o. thirty-nine. he gave many speci-
mems Of his native wit III one assize
town the judges arrived late. and the
grand jury. after being sworn in. sent
down a true bill in 4 very simple case.
Intended to i'll Up the spare time Of the
court for the heel" OF the evening Il
was the case OF the abduction OF a small
farmers daughter BY a shopkeeper. who
could not arrange the matter OF a dowry
to the satisfaction CT the sweetheart's re
lations. The accused had met the maid
near his shop and had kept her, half
resisting. half-consenting, on his prem
ises in company with an elderly female
relative The offence was. therefore only
OF a technical character. Charles O'Mal-
ley made wonderful speech for the pris-
orer. in the course Of which he told the
trieZs-coated jurors that they were the
most intelligent. high-minded. and natu-
rally gifted men he had ever addressed
Justice Norris when the proper time
came. said TO the jury; You have seen
my friend Mr. O'Mailey's amusing per
form2nce- Dismiss IL from your minds
and don't go home TO your honest wives
with peacock feathers in your hats TO pro
claim the distinction he piles upon YOU. I
am compelled TO direct you TO ind a YER
dict Of guilty in this case hut YOU will
easily see that I think it1fs trifine
thing. which I regard as cutie unfit 10 oc
cupy my tine II is more valuable than
yours At least II is much better paid for
Find therefore. the prisoner guilty Of alb
auction which rests. mind We, on four
points-the father was not averse. the
fncther was not opposed, the girl was
willing. and the boy was convavienf ..
After the verdict the judge sentenced the
prisoner to remain in the dock till the
rising OF the court. Then. turning 10 the
sheTln. he said Lets 20 Before tha
boy" WAS clear Of the dock the Judges
head appeared again Marry tAe girl al
once. he said. and God bless you both
one day IL fell 10 the lot OF Lord Morris
10 hear case at COIeraine. in which dam
ages were claimed from veterinary SIR
geOn Tor having pCisOced 4 valuable horse
The issue depended upon whether a certain
number OF grains OF a particular drug could
BE safely administered TO the animal. a
dispensary Doctor proved that he had often
given eight grains 10 a man from which
II was 10 be inferred thar twelve for a
hcrSE was not excessive. Never mind va-
eight grains, dOcther." said the Judge. We
all know that some pOisons are cu-uulatfve
in effect. and ye may go to the edge OF
ruin with impunity. But tell me this The
twelve grains-wOaldn't they kill TIRE divil
himself il he swallowed them2' The doe
tor was annoyed. and pompously replied.
4 don't know. my lord: never had him
te- patient" From the bench came the
answer: "Ah! no, docther, We uiyer had
mOre's the pity. The cid bhoy's sin
alive"
These, OF course. are stories OF the early
days Of a brilliant career. in which politics
az one time played a considerable part. In
later years Lord Norris has always fol-
lowed with keen concern the fortunes Of
his country and he is credited with sr.n 7-v
caustic observations concerning home rule.
An ardent separatist once observed to him
that, in his opinion. Mr.. Gladstone was a
Aeaven-born genius. Then" said Lord
Morris. may il be a long time before
heaven is again in an Interesting eOndi-
ton" Some day. possibly, the noble and
learned lord may be induced 20 write his
"reminiscences They should be rich in in
cident. and from the autobiographer's
standpoint would possess the advantage CT
distinguishing the actual from the apoc-
ryphai.