The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1900-06-08
STYLUS AT THE CONFERENCE

"Stylus" is a regular correspondent
of the New York Christian Advocate,
of which DR.. Buckley, of this city, is
editor. He is clergyman of prac-
tical turn of mind, an author and
writer who always uses ink Of his own
composition whose component parts
are common sense, sarcasm and wit.
He was special correspondent for the
Advocate during the session of the
General Conference, held in Chicago,
and just concluded. "Stylus" viewed
the proceedings from every point of
view and became somewhat disguised
with the brethren who were deter
mined to have their names appear i'll
the "Daily" and with this in view
were constantly con deck with
"points of order and other parlia-
mentary foolishness, but never had an
idea or suggestion of practical value
to the Conference
Stylus affirms that one third of the
working time of the conference was
frittered away by these parliamentar-
ians which when you consider that
the expense of the conference was $15
a minute was serious matter.
In his letter to the Advocate" of
May 81, he begins with the following
burlesque on the proceedings which
will be appreciated by all who have
suffered at the hands or rather by the
mouth of these parliamentary cranks:
Proceed with the call of the con-
ference, +" said Noah. settling down
comfortably on bale of hay.
II rise to a question of privilege,
said Ham, as he slowly assumed a
vertical position.
At this the elephant tapped his ears
the horse gravely smiled, the owl
winked, aud the monkey openly grin
ned.
estate it, " said Noah, with patri-
archal benignity, as he regarded the
troubled countenance of his son.
Ham was stating his question of
privilege as clearly as he could but
with indifferent success as the animals
had been noisy during the night and
interfered with his sleep.
This gave Shem his opportunity so
he interrupted Ham by saying, II rise
to point of order.
"Hear me laugh, said the giraffe.
"And me, too, :" said the cockatoo.
"I'm smiling now,n put in the COW.
Don't be fool, - said an angry
mule.
Estate your point of ORDER" said
Noah, who was beginning to find the
hay bale less comfortable than it
seemed at first.
Shem proceeded as best he could,
but his room ON the third story was
near Bashan bull who had cried all
night with the toothache Shem
therefore labored somewhat, and was
not quite clear in his statement of
the case.
ga parliamentary inquiry" said
Japheth, rising from grain sack, and
looking at Noah.
Estate it, y said Noah, pulling out
a twig from the hay bale, neverthe-
less giving earnest attention to Japh-
eth.
The lion gave roar which cracked
the pitch in three placs The drome-
Diary moved his hump up and down
his back in nervous way. The dom
key brayed so loudly that he was sent
out of the room. When quiet was re-
stored Japheth endeavored to straight
en out matters, occupying consider
able time in so doing. Then fol-
lowed both wrangle and tangle.
Presidents were referred to. Instances
were cited. Rules were read. Noah
did his best, finally rising from his
hay bale and pounding with mallet
on a barrel head which did duty as
desk
Il call for the order of the day"
said Mrs. Shem, coming to the relief
of her husband in true wifely fashion.
1.-THE rules must be suspended; we
are under the call of the conferences,
Mrs. Ham retorted. in the tone quite
among sisters-in-law
81 have report which bears ON
the election of General Conference
Mrs. Japheth quietly re-
conscious that everything
would give way to this.
And so it did.