The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-02-18
Just 5 aSsSf

The writer of "Funnyland," in the La
dies Home Journal, reaches the acme of
extravaganza in his stories. In one OF
his recent efforts he told how babies
grew on trees in "Funnyland,' totally fg-
noring the fable into which the inoffen-
sive stork is, SO frequently dragged WI
visiting in. the family of a friend the
other day. I was greatly amused at the
tale told me by the little five-year-old
daughter of the household. who crept
confidingly into q position of comfort on
my lap and, with little or no Introductory
remarks, foored me with this:
.'Thay, does 90 know how I tum to
mama and papa?"
In weak, uncertain tone. pleaded ig-
norance. and the toddler continued:
81 tummed in tandy Candy box.
Papa told me when he opened e box l
was in he tot (thought) it was all tandy,
tause 1t looked so thweet and at he was
dist bitfn' a piece off when he found out
1t was my toe he was bitin' and l tum-
menced to cry and den he found out 1t
was me and-ain't at funny?"
I was obliged to admit it was very
funny and reflected to myself what
genius OF pFSNdTtCctiOh pcPo "oo'
She was angular and ascetic. likewise
argumentative, and she amused most OF
the women who were crowded about the
stand where she was demonstrating the
beauties and advantages Of the use OF q
certain article In one Of the big stores
Il see you have a teakettle of hot wa
ter ventured a slender, delfcate-featured
woman who had been looking on, do
YOU make your coffee with hot waterE
I'VE do not was the more than en-
phatic reply of the demonstrator. mat
kettle Is cold as stone
The little woman melted suddenly
away in the crowd without a word or
protest, while a big, strengthening wom-
an who stood near elevated he nose
and remarked as she moved away: That
woman would rather argue than sell
goods. She's got the wrong job. She
ought to be the presiding officer OF a
womans rights society.
A moment later the demonstrators was
overheard quoting Shakespeare In behalf
Of her wares and a Weazen-taced httie
man. who had stopped moment to see
what was in progress. looked at ner
sharply and as he walked away was
heard to remark:
-Four dollars q week or even fiye IS
not enough pay for singing Shakespeare
around to the common herd.
Little Robbie, aged six, had been play
ing with the pet pug dog While his ma
ma was cleaning UP the dining room Ia
BILE after lunch. A troubled look came
over his features, and, after abandoning
the dog for moment, he approached MS
mother and in serious earnestness asked:
Mama. what makes the twist In Rug-
gy's tail?"
papa will tell you when he comes
home, dearest: I'm just too busy to think
now
Answers to Robbies questions from
correspondents will be printed on the
twelfth page of tomorrows issue.
It was considerably past o'clock on a
Saturday night coming in on a Fort Shell
ing car The car was crowded. and
among those hanging to straps was
typical dude. An Irish laborer, with SHOW
ell in hand, dinner pail slung to his waist
hy a strap, and literally stained with the
clay Of toll got on the car 1t was ew-
IDENTIFY pay day, and Patrick had accumu-
lated something Of package. But he
was in splendid humor, and his eye
twinkled as he sized up the dude and
resolved to have some fun at the dude IS
expense. Siding up to the well dressed
young man. and trying to assume serio-
comic air, Patrick looked him full in the
face and said bluntly:
Gimme q sfligaroot (cfgarette}.S
The three OF four passengers who saw
and heard snickered audibiy. The dude
stared at Patrick, who promptly clapped
his grirny hand over his own mouth and
shook with laughter. But Patriek's good
hunaor faded and he looked tired ana III
r COR ,nd