The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-05-15

Susquehanna, May 12.-Queer people
in this weary and wicked world! A
Starrucca woman, wife of a well-to-do
| farmer, got mad at her husband ten
years ago, because he lost some money
| she brought him, went to Led, saying
she would never get up or DO a stroke
of work, and has been there ever since.
! She felt tired, three years ago, started
to go to the breakfast table, fell and
broke her ankle, and has not left the
| sheets since. She is s Gloss as bear,
| scolds everything an inch high, keeps
a broom handle to pound the patient
daughter who waits on her, and knows
every bit of gossip and scandal going
on within thirty miles. .-. -..,
WHOLLY UNPRE,MEDITATED
Ever notice that hen is always sue
| cessful in the end?
Did you ever notice the poor chap
who has taken his position in the first
picture in the almanac, with the fish
and sheep, and scorpions and bulls and
twins all around him? Did you notice
| that he was naked and that his stom-
ach appeared empty? Well, his wife is
| housekeeping!
Young men having experience in
paying attention to young ladies assert
that 1t is easier to drive with one hand
than it is to row with one hand.
Talk about despair! You ought to see
the face of the boy when the circus tent
blows down just as he has paid for his
ticket.
There are too many lawyers in this
country.-EXchange. oh, no, my boy;
there aren't too many lawyers. There
aren't half enough clients, that is all
IN OLD SUSQUEHANNA COUNTY.
Hon. James r. Du Bois, of Hallstead,
United States Consul General to
Switzerland, has recently been ap-
pointed by the president delegate to
the international congress, which
meets in Paris.
The foundation for the new chair
factory in Hallstead is completed, and
the building will soon be in the process
of erection. William Knoeller of Hall
stead, is the contractor.
S. w. Gordon, of Great Bend, has
issued ukase announcing that his
wife, Mary, has left his bed and
board" etc.
Recent forest fires have raised high
! 1inks with the rattle snake crop.
| Mr.. Wellman, an aged resident of
New Milford, died on Sunday night.
On Saturday morning a number of
men, said to belong to a gyspsy band,
broke into Tingley's mills, at Ting
| ley, stole a load of oats, sold ten
| bushels of the oats to the Hartford
mills, and levanted with the remain
| der.
The Great Bend high school closes
today. There Is no graduating class
| this year.
| Hallstead and Great Bend have but
one colored resident. Susquehanna
has but four.
The elastic corset invented and
patented by Philip Weibler, of Great
Bend, will soon be manufactured in
! that borough and placed upon the
market.
RARE FORESIGHT"
Census Enumerator Whitney, of Sus-
| quehanna's Second ward, proposes to
make things as easy as possible for
! himself. In his correspondence to nu-
merOus papers hereabouts, he inserts
the fOllOwng:" When ladies give their
age to the census man, they will have
! the satisfaction of knowing that they
are not under oath, and the enumera-
tor will not care whether they are
20 or 92."-Susquehanna Journal
TWAS BUT A DREAM.
Last week l dreamt the grass was
And that the flowers were out in
bloom,
And that my window high was raised
To let the zephyrs fill the room.
l dreamt I smelt the lilac buds.
/ dreamt / heard the blue birds sing;
1 thought / heard the thrushes note,
And robins chirp like everything.
] woke to find my nose was cold,
That frost was on my window pane,
And that the world l thought was
| green,
Was covered over with snow again
Instead Of going forth tn pluck
A blossom from the garden green,
/ took my festive shovel out
| And made my little sidewalk clean.
But I felt as mad as mad could be,
My heart was full Of guile, l fear;
|
The early milkman on the ear!
SOME LITTLE LOCALETTES.
Christ Episcopal church will hold
another hop about May 81.
Martin McMahon and Miss Jennie
Liverpool on Saturday next Mr..
Lewson will sail from New York for
Lewis has been in England for sew
eral weeks.
George T. Rymer and family, for
years esteemed residents of Broad
street, have removed To Cleveland, o.
Erie Master Mechanic Fuller has
taken UP his residence in Susque-
hanna. occupying the Rymer reside nee.
| Broad street.
Congressman Amos j. Cummings, Of
New York, will spend portion of the
summer at Columbian Grove, six miles
north of Susquehanna.. fishing and
writing syndicate stories. Amos has
fished in about every stream between
the st. Lawrence and the Indian river.
in Florida. When in Susquehanna he
fishes twelve hours per day and sew
six days in the week.
IN A LINE OR so.
Rev. Daniel l. Sutherland. pastor Of
the Presbyterian church, will deliver
the Memorial Day address in Susque-
| hanna.
Memorial Day will, as usual, be very
generally observed throughout Sus-
quehanna county.
The Sacrament of the Lords Supper
will be administered in the Presbyter-