The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1900-10-12

| u'a' ne was battle. a frightfuI strux-
| gre IN which one receives terrible blow
| palntul and mortal wounds Instead ~
sneilsnlhs as others do a happy hone for
sne morrow. felt only vague fear OF
| ~, a wish TO hide myself Ia avoid t,ts
combat. in which should be vano,,ish~J
| and killed
| NY studies being finished, was given
| SIX months or vacation in which 10
| choose career. \ very simple event
caused me suddenly 10 see clearly in my
| SELF, showed the diseased state of NV
| mind, made me understand the danger
! and decided me to flee IT,
| Nerdiers Us little town surrounded
! with plains and woods. In the main street
| lay my parents house. | now passed my
| uays lar IRON this dwelling which / had
| so much regretted for which had
| Nearned so deeply. Dreams had awaken
"a Ia me, and tramped through fields
| al alone 10 allow them to escape and ny
away My father and my mother en-
| Vrely occupied with their business, and
preoccupled with my future only talked
| % me OF their sales OF of my possible
ns.They loved me as people with.
"acucal minds may love. They loved me
| Win their reason much more than with
sheir heart l lived within the hermitage
OF my own thoughts, shuddering at my
| continuous disquietude.
Now, one evening. after a long walk.
as i vas returning hastily so as not to
De TOO late. ! saw dog running toward
| me- II was a sort of red spaniel very
thin with long. haiHr ears
! AT ten PAGES from me he stopped
| did the same Then he began TO wag his
| tail, and approached me With short stems
with tinid. crouching movements OF his
| whole body trembling upon his feet and
! gently shaking his head. / called him.
lie approached wih manner so hum
ble SO sad so suppliant that felt the
tears rise In my eyes. ] went toward
hin. lie ran away, then returned. I
knelt on the ground calling To him sooth-
ingly. AT last he came within reach of
my hand, and very gently, and with inf
mite precaution, | caressed his head. He
became bolder came closer placed his
paws upon my shoulders and licked my
face. lie followed me all the way home
This was the first being whom | loved
passionately, because he returned my
tenderness My affection for this animal
was certainly exaggerated and ridiculous.
In confused fashion IL seemed TO me
that we were two brothers, who had lost
our way on earth, one as Isolated and de-
fenceless as the other. IIe never left me
afterward; he slept at the foot OF my
bed; ate az the table, Notwithstanding
the murmurs of my PARENTS. and followed
me in all my solitary walks.
often | would stop on the sides Of a
ditch and seat myself in the grass. Sara
would run at once. lie down at my side or
on my knees, and raise my hand with the
end OF his nose that / might caress
him.
"One day toward the end OF June as we
were on the road 10 Saint-Pierre de
Chavrol, i saw the diligence approach.
Its four horses were running at a gallop.
The driver was cracking his whip. A
cloud of dust rose from under the wheels
of the heavy vehicle, then fioated behind
after the fashion Of cloud.
And suddenly as il came toward us,
Sam, frightened perhaps by the noise anc
wishing to join me, threw himself in
front of II. horses hoof knocGed him
over. | saw him roll turn, raise himself.
fall again upon all his feet. Then the en-
tire carriage shook twice with two fierce
shocks. and saw behind II in the dust
something which quivered upon the high
way He was almost cut In two; all the
interior OF his torn stomach hung oat-
side, the blood spouting over IL. He en-
deavored to rise, to walk, but his two
front feet could only move and scratch
the earth as IL making n hole The two
others were already dead, and he howled
piteoCsly. crazy with pain
He died In few minutes. / cannot ex-
plain what ] felt or how | suffered I
kept to my room for a month.
Now. one evening my father furious
at seeing me I'm this state for so small a
matter, allowed his passion to explode.
he cried, when you have real griefs; II
you ever lose a wife,a child? You mustn't
be such fool
'These words remained with me. They
haunted me. What will happen when
You have real griefs; IL you ever lose a
wife. child?' And I began to see clearly
into myself. understood why all little
daily griefs assumed IN my eyes the i'm
portsrce OF catastrophes. perceived
that | was so organized as 10 suffer
fr,ghtfully from everything, to multiply
and magnify through my diseased SEN
sibility all sorrowful impressions.
"An awful fear Of life fell upon me.
was without passions, without ambitions
I decided TO sacrifice possible joys In or
der 10 avoid certain sorrows Life is
short. 7 will pass it I'm serving others. in
I tightening their burdens and in sharing
their happiness SO said 20 myself. Not
: experiencing directly either the one or
the other, I would only receive weakened
impressions.
"Ah If you knew how. notwithstanding.
sorrow tortures and tears me. But that
: which would have been for me an intol-
erahle suffering is turned into commits
ration. into pity.
Those sorrows which l meet at every
moment | could not have supported had
they fallen on my heart could not
have seen one of my children die without
|, diving myself. And in spite OF everything
have retained fear of fate so obscure
| and penetra ting that the sight Of nv man
servant entering my house awakens a
shiver i'm my veins every day. And still
have nothing now to fear"
The Able Mauduit ceased. He gazed at
the fire in the great chimney as IL 70 see
there mysterious thngs-all the unknown
I'm the life which he might have led had
he been more hardened against suffering.
He resumed i'm low voice:--
81 was right. l was not made for this
world"
The Countess said nothing. AZ last af-
ter long silence she n1urmured:-'As
TO me. 4 had not my grandcafidrer I
think that ] would no longer have the
courage To live"
And the cure rose without other
word