Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-02-06
SPINNING WHEEL.

Just to stand and smile and shine;
Not blessed thing to do
In the waF Of greeting you
Not handshake to bestow
Just feature of the show.
When the President receives
Not single soul believes
tie is glad to see you here
or he were, 1t would be queer;
1t Is just an awful bore,
Standing by the Blue Room door,
Hearing Bingham bawl the names
OF fnconseQuential DANES
SQuirtS bedecked with shoulder straps,
Politicians-crooks,p perhaps.
When the President receives.
Arms that should be clothed with sleeves,
Necks that need the highest yoke.
Tempt the looker-on to joke;
Men wear ties in reds and blues,
Men appear in russell shoes
Everything that's wrong In dress;
It's sorry, mixed-up mess;
l have even seen, by chance,
Mary Walker in her pants
When the President receives.
In crowd that shoves and heaves,
He is stared at by u mob
That knows how to do the job:
And his lady and her gown
Are the targets of the clown.
No one ever Inanifests
That he knows the other guests,
But he doesn't seem to care,
So he has q chance to stare.
w
You might think his guests were thieves,
For the cops" are there to see
No one carves the tapestry,
Lifts the chairs or SWipeS the flowers;
So it goes for hours and hours,
And the President shakes hands,
And there's music by the bands,
And the mob is put to rout
Only when the lights go out!
Town Topics.
A certain lawyer was a candidate for
municipal honors recently, says the Car
diff Western Mail. While out canyassing
he knocked at cottage door. The door
was opened by a woman.
Is your husband in, Mrs. -?' in
CURED the lawyer
No, sir" was the reply; "but l know
what you want My husband is sure to
vote for you, because you got him off for
stealing that ham last week"
''No, no; alleged stealing of the ham,
corrected the lawyer.
Alleged, he blowed.'' was the woman S
smiling reply. We've got bit of it left
still. Lemme give you sandwich out
Of it, sir
Dorothea- Did Penelope tell you
about her new evening dress. She says
it's embroidered all over with sced-pearis
and cost ever so much money
DOlly-"H m. ye-eS.
wore it in Paris it created quite ii sensa-
ton. Isn't she lucky girl to have such
q generous father?
Dolly-"M'm, yes
Dorothea-'I haven't seen it yet.
wonder why she don't show it to me-
Dolly-"Oh, l expect it's a fancy
dress. Pick-Me-Up.
-:O:-
\ good many husbands are entirely
spoiled by miSmanagement i'll cooking.
and so are not tender and good, says u
very knowing writer in the Philadelphia
Telegraph. Some women keep them too
constantly in hot water; others freeze
them, others roast them, others put them
III Il stew, and others keep them con-
Stantly in a pickle. 1t cannot be sup
posed that any husband will be good and
tender managed in this way, but, as a
class, husbands are really delicious when
properly treated. When selecting your
husband you should not be guided by tho
SllVery appearance, as in buying mack
erel; nor by the golden tint, as If YOU
wanted salmon. Be sure and select linn
yourself. as tastes differ. Do not go to
the market for him, as those brought to
the door are always best. 1t is far bet
ter to have none than not to know how
to cook him properly. 1t does not make
SO much difference what you cook HIM III
rs now to cook him. See that the linen
in which he is wrapped is white and nice
~ mended, with the required number cf
strings and buttons. Don't keep him i'll
kettle by force: he will stay there himself
If proper care is taken. If he sputters or
tizzes do not be anxious. Some husbands
do this; add little sugar in the form of
what confectioners call kisses. but nc
vinegar or pepper on any account 4 lit
tie spice improves them. but it must be
used with Judgment Do not try him
with anything sharp to see if he is be-
coming tender. Stir him gently the
while, lest he stay too long in the kettle
and become fat and tasteess. If thus
treated you will find him very digestibe
agreeing nicely with YOU and he vii!
keep as long as you want
'EZ ODo 'nOSSum.N said Rrn.r N-illia1n,S