The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1900-02-10
THE HOT TINES IN KENTUCKY.
Nat Prune Has a Few Words to Say About
the Campaign.

politics or the StAte Wntre tney rhlse
race horses on blue grass and make
moonshine whiskey out of corn and
rye
Mr.. Punkin aud the postmaster
were enjoying together a glass Of the
new fall cider. II was early in the
evening, and the boys had not begun
to arrive. "This is tip top artikle,"
remarked Tobe, smackIng his lips in
an experienced way.
"Oh, yes" said the postmaster,
IT'S tn best thet's ben ground out in
tn county this fall, r any other fall
fub thet matter"
"Ill just show yuh my appreshias
hun oyit by takin' another mug; with
th' excepshun ov cider, I'm teeto
taller
les a hot time they air hayil' ont
in X Ktin,ucky," said the postmaster,
gzng throught glass Of the spark
Iog haid at his Visa Wis.
Well. rayther eff | was younger
man | d go out thar jest fuh tn sd-
venture. was out thar once't some
ten year ago, bout 'leckshun time,
but let tn country, didn't vote; It
got so hot didn't know which way
{ east my balut, an | cussed an
quit. Tn privilege Ov votin' IN
Kaintucky is a risky one. One man
comes up and SCI he's fuh Bryan an
ne's shot; anuther one lows he's fuh
McKlrlsy and he's hung an so 1t
goes Now at present thar is some
foItY-two tickets ruunin' fuh Gov
nor, tn Demycrats, tn R'publicans,
ia Rigylars, tn Free S'llers, tn
KnowNothin's, the Greenbackers,
th' Womsn's Temperance Union, tn
Darters ov rh' Riverlushun, sn' tn
Changers. Don't tLOne Ov 'em cut
much ice but th' frs three aforesaid
menshuned above. Thar's Mister
Gobble, he's q gop man with q sIly or
inln,' who writ an 'lecksbun law; he
stan's fuh Gobble, Kaintucky an
Bryan, respectively. Mr.. Gobble
Tuz born in tn great State ov Penn
sylvanis, le'rned a few Dutch tricks,
an emigrated t Ksintucky when
thar warn't Dothin' thar exceptin'
bars an' Daniel Boone an befJ' them
people got their eyes open, be had
'em lasod.
"Ef he's a gol man." said Euky
Mears, who had by this time settled
down by the fire and vQtten up with
the thread of the Discourse, whats
Bryan doin rootin' fuh him out
thar
"Yo' queslshun's a perfectly prop
er one. Euky, an doubtless Z you
mind il seems rsyther strange but
It's this way: Yah see Ksintucky IS
very close; durin' tn last 'lecksun eff
five men in Ksintucky had shifted
chaws ov terbacker iu their mouths
Ksiutucky would ov gone fun B,yaD;
but to thing was I git 'em t shift.
Now Mister Gobble is tn inventor ov
a m Machine thet will make 'em Shift
them chaws. An Mister Bryan
think it's all right IL shift 'em ez
long q it counts him in but not when
1t counts him out. Ez tn pot Shake
speere has sed, 'Polyticks makes
STANCE bedfellows.'
Il never see uothin' bout joint de-
bates out IN Kaintucky," broke in
the postmaster.
81 bould ejackylate not" returned
Mr.. gPunkin quickly, two men
don't speak in Ksintucky fun tn
same hatform tn same day. Ef
they did, thar wouldn't nothin' be
lef' on th' groun's but westcut buck
les an broken jugs; an 'twould be
good place Z take lessons in carvin.'
They had but one j'int debate in thet
State, an thet was some severeal
year ago. Th' opposite sides come
t'gether, an when tn band had play
cd / love yuh in the same oil way
an tn aujience had sung tn long
meter doxology, tn cheerman ruz up
an sed: 'Deerly beloved, we hev
met t'gether T. day 4 discuss tn is
hubs ov tn campaign thet is now up
on u, an l would sugges thet no
brass knuckles be used, an ef thsr's
any carvin' necessary it be done with
ackewracy an dispatch. So mote it
be. they air off, all in a bunch Then
th' fus' candydate said few com
plmentary remarks bout tn other
one, an thar was show'r ov cab
bapes sech q would bring three cents
a head. an tn win was all knocked
out of th' bassdrum. Mex thing
sixteen men underneath th' hstform
got T disputin' bout bull dogs in GIN
raj, an th' underpinnin' give way.
Tn cheerman hollewed fuh order an
a carpenter an timer, an purity
soon order was restored. In ten
minits both ov tn csndydates was
speakin' at oncet' an tn cheerman
was head fust in cider bar'l; an
darkness foun' both tn candydates
some two miles off FUN tn ishuhs ov
th' campaign. Jint debates is on
th' decline out thar. A man is lrble
Z become uujlned in one ov 'em."
"Who's ruunin' agin this feller
Gobble," asked Euky.
young John Brown an Re
publikin by th' name ov Tay ylor'"
whats Young John Brown"
queried the postmaster.
"He's fuh honest 'leckshuns an
mo- ov 'em he's also sgin' waterin'
tn milk an taxin' the moonshiners.
It's kind ov game ov puss in tn
corner, an Taylor's got tn bes' cor
ner. It's true, be amt got no help
f'um his nabor, Mark Hannah, 'cuz
Marks got trouble ov his own, an
he amt huntin' fuh no mo-. GObble
sez Young John Browns rascal;
Young John Brown sez Gobble's Oh O.
only mo- so Mister Gobble sez
Young John Browns got T. prove
some ov th' mean things he's sed
bout him; an Young John Brown
sez he'll be pleased T. do SO. Mister
Gobble sez he'll win er bust; Young
John Brown sez he'd better git ready
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