davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05
Keen.witted Editor.

Editors of newspapers are often in
jeopardy of their lives, and only by
GOODNESS and discretion do they es-
cape from the harm which might
otherwise come to them from cranks.
The editor of a certain newspaper in
a New Jersey town was approached
by well known general whose death
had been published in the paper sew
eral days before.
IT want that statement taken back,
sir" cried the general, cor I'll have
your life"
The editor looked heightened, but
retaining his presence of mind,
answered.: 81 am very sorry, my
dear sir, but we do not take back any
thing we have published, nor can we
contradict mistakes, but" with a
broad smile, tomorrow We'll pub
Ksh your name in the column OF
births" The humor of the remark
struck the general and his anger was
Observation-Disclosures Call.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05
milwaukee Excursions.
MANNING, IOWA .

Biennial Conclave Knights of Ply,
thias at Detroit, Michigan, Aug. q tc
Sept. l. One fare, plus 50, for round
trip.
One fare plus $500, for round trir
National Convention of the Christian
church to be held at Kansas City, Mo-,
October 10.
Inter-Nat1 Con. Baptist Young PEG.
pies Union of America, Cincinnati, O..
July Is to l6, one regular frst-class
fare plus 50 for round trip.
Biennial Con. Natl Rep. Leagues O.
U. s. st. Paul, Mimi, July II and 10
one fare plus 50 for round trip.
Annual Conv. Young Peoples Chris
tian Union, Denver Col, one fare plus
81 for round trip. These rates apply
to Col. Springs, Pueblo and Manton
Colorado.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05

General Sir Herbert Chermside was
formerly a consul In Asia Minor. Once,
In a weak moment, he sent couple Of
beautiful Angora cats as a present to
a lady In Constantinople. The lady
was so pleased that she asked him to
send some more. Sir Herbert gave his
native servant some money and told
him to go and buy two or three. Then
came a demand for more cats from the
consuls friends, and he gave his serv.
ant more money with which to buy
cats.
This went on for two or three
months, and the native servant waxed
exceeding fat. One morning, however.
the general, on coming out Of the con.
sulate, was surrounded by a host Of
Infatuated yelled women, who besought
Mohammed to curse him because he
had stolen all their cats. 1t appears
that the native servant had pocketed
the money for himself and gone round
with a sack and confiscated every cat
in the place.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05
Managed 10 Hit the Mark.

A well known divinity professor, q
grave and learned man, says Golfers
Weekly, has five daughters, whom his
students irreyerently named Scene
sis" Exodus" Numbers" Levitt
GUS" and deuteronomy"
Beginning his lecture one day, the
professor said: Gentlemen, I wish
TO speak to you about the age Of
Genesis"
Roars of laughter came from the
students.
Genesis is not so old as you sup
pose," continued the professor.
More roars-so long continued, In.
deed, that the worthy man had time
to think before he made the next re-
mark. He said timidly-and he man
aged to hit the mark this time:
II may not be thinking of the
same Genesis as you are"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05
Our Clubbing Rates.

The REPUBLICAN will not charge it's
subscribers who are not in arrears on
our subscription books for commission
in sending for other papers and periodi-
Gals. Ifyou are behind with us, pay up
and then we can save you considerable
on your other papers. We will only
charge you their cost and the cost of ex-
change. Those who are already paid up
may come in and subscribe for any pa
pers or periodicals, and get advantage
of this offer. If you are paid up on the
REPUBLICAN you can get the other pa
pers of us for the combination price be-
low. less $1,00, the price of the REPUB-
LICAN. Although we can get any lead
ing paper i'll the United States. these
are some of the best combinations: add
five cents to each for exchange.)
The REPUBLICAN and Iowa State Regis
Ter .............. ........ Sl.S5
The REPUBLICAN and Iowa Capital. E.
................... Sl.35.
The REPUBLICAN and Toledo Blade. 49,.
.... Sl.Zo.
The REPUBLICAN and Inter Ocean.
................. LIB
The REPUBLICAN and Des Moines Daily
news. $3.50. ............ ........ 81 ~
The REPUBLICAN and weekly Counci
Bluffs Nonpariel. so
The REP BLICAN and Kansas City Jour
nal ...... ....... ......'. .Sl ~
The REPUBLICAN and Iowa Homestead
with Farmers Institute. Poultry
Farmer, and Farmers Mutual In
surance journal 81 40
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05

VERY Low RATES TO CINCINNATI, ONO,
Via the North Western Line. Excur
sion tickets will be sold July 10 to IL,
inclusive, final return limit to August 10
on account Of annual meeting B. Y. P.
U. Apply to agents Chicago & North
Western R'y. 26-2
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05
Even Ro.ton CouIdn,I ,Iness II.

"Here," said a Cleveland man who
had just returned from Boston, here
is neat little four barreled conun-
drum that is entertaining the Hub
bites. Listen to it: What character
is there in the Bible who possesses no
name, who suffered death in different
form from any inflicted before or
since that time, a portion of whose
shroud is in every household, and the
cause of whose death has been made
famous by modern author?"
"Eh? is it too hard? as Dan Daley
used to say. Give it up? An easy lit
tile thing like that? Pshaw. Well, It's
Lots wife. She possesses no name;
no one else met death through being
turned into a pillar of salt; salt is in
every household, and Edward Bellamy
wrote Looking Backward "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05
VERX Low EXCURSION RATES TO DE,

VERX Low EXCURSION RATES TO DEN
YER, COLORADO SPRINGS AND PUEBLO
Via Chicago, Union Pacific and North
Western Line, on June 10, 20, July 3,
9, II amp August l, 7 and 81, good re-
turning until October 81, also very
low rates on same dates to Glenwood
Springs, Salt Lake City, Ogden, Dead
wood and Hot Springs. Quickest time
Best service. Apply to agents Chicago
& North Western R'y. 1913
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05
A FRIGHTFuL BLUNDER

Will often cause horrible burn,
scald, cut or bruise. Bucklen's Anrica
Salve, the best in the world will kill the
pain and promptly heal it. Cures old
sores, fever sores, ulcers, boils, felons,
corns, all skin eruptiOns. Best Pile
cure OH earth: Only 25 cts. box.
Cure guaranteed. Sold by A. Ii. Rob-
ertS, druggist.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05
Relief i'm Six Hours.

Distressing kidney and bladder dis
ease relieved in six hours by New
Great American Kidney Cure" 1t is 6
great surprise on account of it's exceed
ing promptness in relieving pain il
bladder, kidneys and back, in male Oh
female. Relieves retention of water
almost Immediately. If you want quick
relief and cure this is the remedy. Solo
by A. II. Roberts, druggist, Audubon. La
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05

Fer brood sows Ravens Stock Food
has no equal. The pigs will be strong
and have plenty Of milk. II cures secures
in pigs and lambs. 1t removes worms
from hogs, cures colds and fevers; pre-
vents pneumonia and disease, and makes
them do we'll. 1t aids digestion, gives
good appetite, saves feed and promotes
rapid growth. When freely fedto hogs
and pigs it will surely prevent hog
cholera. For sale by Riddlesbarger &
Fay, Poultry, Audubon. Iowa.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05
A NIGHT OF TERROR.

"Awful anxiety was felt for the wild
Ow of the brave General Burnham, of
Machias, Me-, when the doctors said
she could not live till morning" writes
Mrs s, III. Lincoln, who attended her
that night. GAN thought she must
soon die from pneumonia, but she
begged for Dr.. Kings New Discovery,
saying that it had more than once
saved her life, and had cured her of
consumption, After three small doses
she slept well all night, and its further
use completely cured her." This mar
velOus medicine is guaranteed to cure
all throat, chest and lung diseases,
Only SOC and $l.00 Trial bottles free
at A. III. Roberts drug store.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05

English SPAWN Liniment removes all
hard, soft or calloused Jumps and blem-
ishes from horses, blood spavins, curbs
splints, sweeney, ringbone, stiles, all
swollen Threats, coughs, etc. Save $50
by the use of one bottle. Warranted the
most wonderful blemish cure ever
known. Sold by A. III. Roberts, druggist
Audubon, Iowa.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05

VERY Low RATES TO CHARLESTON, s.
G. Via the North Western Line. Ex-
cursion tickets will be sold, on account
of annual meeting N. e. A., to be held
at Charleston, July lib. For dates of
sale limits of tickets, etc., apply to agent
Chicago a. North Western R,y. 26.2
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05

BEAUTIFUL LAKE VIEWS an ideal
summer resort, the peculiar pleasures
of hunting and fishing being found
here at their best. The North Western
Line to afford an opportunity to reach
this favored spot, will sell excursion
tickets to Lake View at $40 for the
round trip from Audubon applying
Fridays and Saturdays, tickets limited
to return on or before the following
Monday. Apply to agent Chicago &
North Western R'y. DAT
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05
.We.haye sold many differe,

"We.haye sold many different cough
remedies, but none has given better
satisfaction than Chamberlain's," says
Mr.. Charles Holzhaur, druggist, New
ark, n. j. 1T is perfectly safe and
can be relied upon in all cases of
coughs, colds or hoarsness. Sold by
A. IL. Roberts, druggist
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05

Excluding $500 Indians in New
York and $4,000 Indians embraced in
the five civilized tribes in Indian ter
Titory, the Indians numbered approx
imately 1S1,5S6, as against 1S0,132 re-
ported for the previous year.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05

An eminent naturalist tells how .
blackbird will stand at the side of q
hanging wasps' nest and deliberately
tear it in pieces in order to get at
the larvae, apparently undisturbed BY
the swarm of angry insects.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05

The American city which during
the first six months of 1899 showed
the largest gain in the number and
estimated cost of projected buildings
was Cleveland, o.; New York came
second and Kansas City third.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05

After a long experience in the
world, l affirm, before God, l never
knew rogue who was not unhappy.
--Junius.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05

For milk cows on dry feed, Ravens
Stock Food increases milk flow and
makes better quality. 1t makes COWS
healthy and prevents abortion. Itcures
scours in calves. For cattle not doing
we'll, it aids digestion, cures all blood and
kidney disease, saves feed and they fatten
we'll. When fed often to COWS and calves
they will keep in good order and thrive
we'll. For sale by Riddlesbarger & Fay,
Audubon Iowa
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05

For information about North Dakota
lands enquire Of j. O. F. Wicker, Audi
bon, Iowa. IL
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05
Twice Each Month.

The Northern Pacific railway runs
Home Seekers Excursions. These ex-
cursiOns are run OF the first and third
Tuesdays in each month. Tickets are
sold from eastern terminals to points
on main line and branches west of Ait
kin and Little Falls, Mimi, in nearly
all cases at one fare plus SO for the
round trip.
Time is given for intending settlers
and hOmeseekers to stop at various
places and examine the conditions pre-.
vailing, prices of land, ETC., with view
of purchasing homes at most desirable
points.
The northwest is the coming coun-
try. Good land is becoming scarce,
and these excursions offer opportuni-
ties for young people especially, to pro-
cure homes in the finest portions of the
Northwest, in most cases reached only
by the Northern Pacific.
For more detailed information re
garding the scope and conditions sur
rounding these excursions, valuable
literature about the country, ETC., cal!
or write to q. d. Rogers, Dist. Pass.
Agent, SOB Locust ST., Des Moines, Ia,
or Chas. S. Fee, Gen. Pass. Agent, St.
Paul, MINI. For six cents Mr.. Fee will
send Wonderland 1900, the finest illus.
trated descriptive tourist book publish
ed.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-07-05
G. w GLEASON, M. d.

PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Office i'm the
1 Commercial Bank Building, DOWN
STAIRS. Residence LIST house south of Park
Hotel. Telephones, residence, No. 10, office.
No. ID two rings. Audubon, Iowa.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

Seattle. Feb p. i-a
To the Editor. I am n subscriber 70 the
Daily ppSt-inteliEsncer aud Republic
an. bat IN justice 20 deceuey and. common
honesty must enter protest against
the manifest inanecrity ~ ynur paper Ia
ia efforts to forward the interests ~ she
present mayor Of Seattle. The P0at-fn-
telligencer ought 10 he enough OF paper
TO stand always for the welfare Ok this
city and faf too honerable paper 20
stop Ia the advancement ~ personnel
ends sf the great expense ~ civia right
sousnesS and the enforcement 81 law
IN this mornings paper the arsf editorial
and the article on the last mage Ce7ms-
body's dreamy are about on A par Roth
are a shame. and would do harm II their
purpose ware NOT ah evident
Personally boiieve yon 30 Ne FAR above
this sort Of thing Taen why IN the
world should sou aiiew Nogr fap~r. for
which the people hold yop responsible
TO print ageh nonsense az seeming 70
come from your uea7
IN the name ~ Christian clfizenship
THOMAS C.. wfswEI.r,
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

Nothing more ridiculous could he
imagined than the cutlery raised by
Continental newspapers. and joined by
few Washington correspondents, over
the supposed indignity placed upon Gen.
cronie by requiring him to proceed to
the camp of Lord Roberts to arrange
terms OF surrender. When has 1t been
the custom for the victor to make a
ceremonious cali upon the vanquished
in order to receive his capitulation? At
Appomattox, Gen. Lee went TO meet
Gen. Grant at the place agreed upon.
yet no one ever heard this mentioned
as humiliating. AT Sedan the terms
were arranged between Napoleon and
Bismarck. and William even declined to
grant an interview requested by the
fallen emperor Of France.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02
FROM THE PEOPLE.
A COMPLAINT FROM JUNEAU.

Juneau Alaska, Feb 30 1900.
To the Editor: As a fye-year resident
of juneau, interested In several mining
properties. and having the welfare Of Ju-
neau at heart address the following
communication TO each of the three news
papers published here for the purpose of at
tempting to correct some OF the evils
mentioned All three papers. for reasons
unexplained, refused to publish the COM
munication. hence | take the liberty of
forwarding 1t for publication in a METRO
politan paper whose columns. take &C.,
are not closed by mercenary or other Inn
proper motives to an article simply re-
citing the law, ana TO the end that the
communication may be productive OF
some good The article follows:
ITO the Editor; Section 465 OF the new
criminal code of Alaska provides as fol-
lows. That under the license issued IN ac-
eordance with this act. no Intoxicating H.
quors shall be sold, given or In any way
disposed OF to any minor Indian or intos-
icated person or to hahituai drunkart'
Section i73 OF the same act provides:
That any person having obtained H.
cense under this act who shall violate any
OF Its provisions shall. upon conviction of
such violation. be fined not less than
$50 nor more than 5000. and upon every
subsequent conviction of such violation
during the year for which such license
I'm addition to such fine shall pay sum
equal 90 q per centnm OF the amount ot
the fine imposed for the offense immeil-
ately preceding, and have his license re-
voked, etc II Is further provided that
after the second offense no license shall
thereafter he granted 20 said party
ut Is not the purpose OF the writer to
wage war upon any particular saloon
keeper. but II Is q crying shame that The
miners and wofkingmen. after becoming
intoxicated. should stili be enabled TO OBJ
tain liquor from saioonkeepers. notwith-
standing their condition, until they have
'hlowed I'M every dollar II Is also a
disgrace 10 this lia0or law. the officers
who are supposed 10 enforce II and 20 the
community at large, that certain persons
in the community who are well known TO
be habtual drunkards' can. simply he-
cause they have the price obtain any
amount OF drinks from certain saloon
keepers. whether they be intoxicated or
not wish to give n friendly word Of
warning to saloonkeepcrs In general that
unless they keep reasonably Within the
pale of the LAW. that actions will be COM
mehced to enforce the above quoted saiu.
tary provisions OF the law. Yours truly.
JOHN WAGNER
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02
ace and erratic warhorses. Before Mr.

fee and erratic warehouses;. Before Mr..
Cotterill talks about representatives as
Stunning to rule instead Of to serve. he
ought to make thorough examination
OF the shameless swindle in which there
was an unauthorized juggling Of
parties professions. platforms and men
such as has never before been recorded
in municipal politics. The people were
absolutely ignored and the ticket put
up after long hours of dickering; a
striking embodiment Of the principle
that the representative should rule in
stead OF serve.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

Mr.. Cotterin intimates that he would
like to inaugurate several of his curious
ideas of government. but ne is in doubt
as to whether he viii be able to do it.
He should not be in doubt. He will
have no opportunity to try his new
schemes, for the reason that he win
fail OF election by at least one thousand
votes.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02
A question.

Quilcenc Wash. Feb e.
To the Editor As q sympashixer WITH
a long-sufferlug msu with q fad ! AK,
ID the name Of patience how long would
sou have Edwin Markham wahs You
say. II he would abtgrr prophecy and
think twice before be wrote once there :
the making ~ a very good post IN htm"
He has toia us that ne pc-AeFed on THE
Man Win the Hoe" IS many years as Il
took the patriarch Jacob TO earn hts true
lave Now. I submit that ne has a right
10 GO TO New York and be rushed. hop
ing always that he VIII have the same
firmness that Joaquin Miller bad. to keep
out OF the dime museums
J. MARION GALE.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

Mr.. Stead says the Beers now intend
to put women in their trenches. in order
to make Tommy Atkins choose between
the disgrace OF being shot by woman
or the infamy OF shooting one. This
brilliant idea 50 obviously bears Mr..
Stead's own hallmark that it ap-
proaches Islander to attribute it to the
Beers
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

tention to the need of erecting street
signs. Something may be done now
that the want of them is not merely
provision of adequate postal facilities.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

II the chambers of commerce of the
coast cities keep insisting upon repre-
sentation on important national bodies.
ard especially II they lay aside their
own rfvalries and jealousies while do
ing it, this section win ultimately re-
ceive the recognition to which IL is en-
titled.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

Who says the man in the rear has
an easy time OF it? Isn't 1t asking
good deal of Briton to make him cele-
brate over the relief OF Ladysmith so
soon after the surrender of Cronje?
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

when everything for which Jefferson
stood is Knocked at by the Democratic
party. The gentlemen who are TO speak
on that occasion have the assurance OF
our distinguished consideration.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

]. NJ Carson Is as much at home at
presiding over composite convention
as he is at letter writing.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

Mr.. Way tells the Anti-Saloon League
to be sure it is right. then go ahead
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

' There are only FIVE DAYS before cleo
ton. but that is ample time for the
people Of Seattle to decide that they
are unwilling to issue license for a
four-ring circus to perform during the
next two years.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02
4 GUARANTEE.

The Post IntelIigeBcer hereby
guarantees Its advertisers . hons
Ade paid circulation. Daily, Weekly
aad Sunday, double that of any
ether newspaper pubIished I'm the
state Of Washfngton. AdvertisinE
eontraets will be made subject to
this guarantee.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02
II In. the Right Ring.

Spokane Chronicle
The platform adopted by the Repub-
lean city convention at Seattle has the
right ring to It.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

The Democrats Of Everett are a bold
lot They are preparing to celebrate
the birthday OF jefferson. at a time
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02
zmusEmExrs TO-DAY.

SEATTLE THEATER--.Thc Nominee
THIRD AVENUE THEATER-"rhe
Fatal Card"
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

Perhaps the postal department may
help 20 stir our local authorities 70
ilselser interest In the placarding q
streets and the numbering Of houses ia
Seattle. a postal Inspector has de-
cared that he cannot recommend an
Increase In carriers until this neglect.
which embarrssses the carriers in de-
nvering mail matter. has been
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

Turn out for the Republican meeting
tonight and let it be made manifest
that this city Is to be governed accord
ing to Repuhlicanisn and not according
to Composition
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-03-02

Judge Mcdonald, who made such a
virulent attack on Mayor Humes
Wednesday night. is the man who last
year was talking so loudly about 1t
being time for the Democracy to ge.
together shake off alliances and make
a square fight for the old principles
under the old banner. Evidently the
judge has weakened, as is often the
case with men who have held Office and
want more of it. II one has the itch
he must scratch. as Democrat If
possible: IL not, then as fusionist. bat
scratch he must.