davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06

She SAT in ? car with little smile OF
satisfaction ON her face. for she was
well and tastcfully dressed. and that
means a great deal to a woman As
she moved up 10 make room for new
conier man entered. and as he sat
down lle said to the comfortable one:
why. Jane. this isn't your afternoon
on, Eow did they come TO let you out
todayf-
The young woman grew very red in
the face, for all the occupants OF the
ear were looking and listening, and
stammered out as she half rose and
then fell back in her seat:
Now look here
How well you're dressed. tOo.' con-
tInued her torlnentor They must
give you 500 month. Eb2 Is your
mistress about your size?"
~Now. do be quiet" cried the uncom-
Portable one. ~If you think
Diamonds. too" went on the miser-
able man as he caught fash from her
waving fingers. ~0r are they artih-
cialg'
The torme1ted one spranS UP, stop
ped the car and made a rapid exit.
followed by the cause OF the trouble.
whose farewell remark to the inmates
OF the car was:
well wei. but some people sre too
sensitive,"
They were husband and wife. and
this was his weifl idea of taking his
revenge for a curtain lecture.-Phila-
deiphia Times.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
A Truthful Nomenclature.

In certain household the true and
only Vermont maple sirup has never
lost its sweetness, and several times a
week from the head of the table pater-
familias pours out judieiously meas
ured quantities of n on the plates Of
his children. To give piquancy TO the
ceremony he always explains that this
time he is going TO give Bob an ostrich
and Maize an antelope, with something
else from the nursery books for Teddy.
One day the latter small philosopher
was seen TO regard the various plates
for a considerable space OF time in ST.
lence. What is ii. EdwardT his
mother asked.
Muffin" replied the hopeful Il was
Just finkin that me an Bob an Maize
aIlus seems TO get birds an snakes an
fngs wiv skinny legs. but pop. general
ly gets a erphant or hipperpotamus." "
New York Commercial Advertiser.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
TIVE of Nast's Faces.

William NJ. Tweed was a portIy man
Of medium size. with long. pendu'ous
nose. little pOrcine eyes. fat. dropping
checks and a straight. firm mouth that
was decidedly his best feature. The
outlines Of his face were those OF
Bartlett pear. little end upward. and !
never saw craft so palpably written
upon a human cOuntenance. Mast
used TO be fond of drawing Tweed's
face. by the way, as a sack of money.
The general contour of his head lent
itself to the outlines OF the sack. and
he used $ marks for the nose and eyes.
Strange TO say. it was a capital por-
trait.
Another Of Nast's trick pictures was
one of Roscoe COnkling. He would
draw a large letter V. with a smaller Y
inside 1t and surmOunt the pair with
an interrogation mark upside down
The big V-represented Conkling's point
ed beard. the smaller one his sharp
nose and the Interrogation point the
Hyperion curl which he always allowed
to fall negligently upon his forehead.
That caricature made the naughty SEN
ator wild and exasperated him more
than any Bit of fun that was ever pOked
in his direction.-New Orleans Times
Democrat
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06

A correspondent OF the Hartford Cou-
rant tells OF a news clipping bureau
which sent a letter 10 John Bunyan.
au,hor Of a work entitled The Life Of
A-r. Badman." in c1.e of a publisher.
urging Mr.. Bunyan to subscribe to the
bureau.
After the deoease Of the late F. T.
Barnum," continues the correspond
ent. The Greatest Show on Earth
continued for awhile TO use the magic
Of his name. IL was coming TO Hart
ford. aud il sent free tickets to clergy
men here. Among Tie letters contain
ng said tickets WAS one addressed TO
the Rev. Or. Joel Hawes. who had
died some years before. The letter
was sent 10 Or. George l. Walker. then
he active pastor Of the First church.
"0n reading and pOndering it DIR.
Walker is credibly reported TO have
said: \ letter from Z. T. Balnum TO
Or. Hawes, Mr.. Bsrnum is dead and
Dr.. Hawes is dead. 1t is evident that
they have not met yoader.'
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
A rar,ona 1zentuctr notel.

The Pkcnix hotel is in one sense the
oldest llUicl in the whole western coun-
Try. for 1t las. with varying changes.
continued to exist ever since the year
1871. II was here that Aaron Burr
lodged IN lS06 while engaged in bis
daring conspiracy TO make himself the
head OF a new empire and was here
nei and welcomed 10y Herman Blen-
neli;asSest. the cultured hat unfortu-
n&te lrislnnan he had so completely
fascinated Here. as far back as def
fesson's administration. Democrats ard
FtSiefalists. in knee buckled breeciies.
rufird shirts and dangling cues. talked
redlsi politics. II was the scene Of n
srmPtE0us dinner To Lafayette. and
later was the stopping place Of the
WY Mexican chicftain General Santa
Anna During the civil war. wE.le
Lexington was held by the Confeder-
ates. i was the headquarters OF Gener-
als Bragg and Kirby Smith and before
the struggle ended sheltered General
Grant. President Arthur has also been
its guest-Lexington (KyJ Observer.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
sim,Iicitr OF Frn.

''The funniest thing | ever saw or
heard" says Chauncey II. Depew IN
Success. "was the lecture Of Artemus
Ward. then quite unknown. on Nor
mons. delivered at Albany. The audi
ence was fashionable. conservative
and proper to a degree. Ward. diseour-
aged, finally stopped and said. after
one Of his hest things. which had met
with no response, There's a joke
Suddenly. the fun Of the whole enter
tainment came like an avalanche The
audience began to litter. then to laugh,
then TO rear and at tie end OF - min
utes was positively in hystericaI con
dition. 1t was an illustratior Of the
psychology Of association AID scnti-
ment. precisely the same as tlat which
produces nanics. when there are no
commercial troubles and no financial
difticUlties."
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
A wopaerfuI GeoIogIcaI Freak.

Among the many wonderful freaks
in nature there can be none in the geo
logical line that can possibly exec
that known as The Giants Head
1t stands. or, rather, reclines. aEainst
the face of the cliff at Point Pinos, in
Monterey county. Cal. and all who
have viewed the wonder declare IL 10
be the most colossal as well as the
most marvellous freak in natural sculp-
ture in existence.
All portions Of the head" except the
back. which appears to be blocked
into the metamorphic rocks against
which il seems to be so naturally re-
elining, are as perfect as though fresh
from the hands of some giant sculptor.
The chin. mouth. nose. eyes and brow
are all perfect, rs is also the hair
which appears TO be gracefully drawn
back from the forshead.
The ears are not so true TO life as
the other features are. but even in this
respect no stretch Of the Imagination
Is required in order TO see tolerably
perfect auricular appendages. The
bold features. backward wave OF the
hair. massive forehead. musiache. fine
ly chiseled nostrils and deep set eyes
are all reproduced on a natural yet gi-
gantic scale and with wonderful exact
ness.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06

The history Of grip or innuenzs,
Ii only be traced back. with any GER
.nfv. for 800 years. Perhaps It's home
in Russia II retains certain broad
aracieristics which make il recog-
Eable even usler sucs odd names as
4 gentle correction" and the new
jljrht.. A curious description OK II
lder the name OF scOqueluche' Is
3und in the diary OF Pierre de LES
( be in the time OF Henry III OF
lance. as follows:
The coqueluche at Paris. year ls'so.
rom the ID day 10 the sth day OF
ne there fell sick at Paris l0.OOO
rsors Of an illness having the form
rseum or catarrh. which they cali
; .,,aaueIuche. This illness seizes
In with a pain in the head. stomach
i loins and a lassitude throughout
: body. and Il prosecuted the whole
rsdom Of France while the year last
30 that once having come hardly
,vbodv in town or village or house
capped.
The best remedy the doctors found
10 make the sick abstain from
ne. To some they ordered bleeding
Il rhIlbarb. for Others cassia, and
-aIlv they found il best 10 keep the
L in bed and allow them iitte to eat
N drink. They say at Paris that Of
is .coquelucbe' there were cead at
,me in less than three months, more
an 10000 persons.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
ALL ATE THEIR HUSBANDS.
Utter Failure Of n Costly Experiment
TO Make Spiders Weave SIX.

Utter Failure of n Costly Experiment
TO Make Spiders Weave SIX.
As long ago as the beginning of the
eighteenth century the idea of using
the thread that the spider spins from
its body as q substitute for the thread
uBwTapped from tie cocoon of the silk
worm was brosched. but with little
practical result. An Englishman. Mr.
Holt. secured 20.OO0 feet of silk thread
from - spiders in two hours.
OF late some experiments have been
conducted by curiOusfersOns TO ascer
tain which spider produced the best
and largest qusntity of silk, for it has
been demonstrated that il is an excel
lent substitute for that Of the silk
worm Spiders from Paraguay and
Argentina. from India. China and Aus
tralia. were tried. but the best results
were secured from the spiders Of Mad
agascar.
1t was found that after laying her
eggs the female spider spins most free
ly. Six OF these were selected and con-
fined for the test From one 1000
yards Of thread were secured In ten
days: from the second, 1870 yards in
seven days; from the third and fourth.
450 yards in four days; from the fifth,
1.400 yards In ii days. and from the
sixth, 4.200 yards in % days
4 German manufacturer was so de
lighted with this test that he made
elaborate arrangements for having a
spider silk mill, importing large num-
Der Of the spiders from Madagascar
to Germany. All went well until the
females had laid their eggs and be
gun to spin, when oil at once the males
were found TO have disappeared. Their
larger feminine companions had grown
so fond OF them that each female spi-
der had eaten her mate. This catas-
trophe ended the costly experiment.
Washington Post.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06

A richly dressed woman entered the
Imce OF a trust company in Philadel-
liza the other day 20 rent q box.
Have yOu any one TO identify yOu!'
sled the attendant.
Certainly not" said the woman In
-nandy. Everybody enows who
"a
That may be-" was the reply, but
don't know that you are the woman
that name"
been transacting some business. raised
her head. and a frigid nod passed be-
In-een them.
do you know this woman" asked
BE bank official
I don't want to know her" snapped
.ne woman. '-She lives next door to
ne. and instructed her footman TO
zick my dog. Just because it Glanced
b be on her step. You needn't ask me
ID Identify her. for l won't"
Il wouldg't let you identify me- re
orted the applicant for a box. Il think
you have acted horribly about your
,d dog. and you left the Dorcas so
-iety. telling everybody you wouldn't
Iclong rs long as was member. A
lice Christian spirit"
In the meantime the bank ofiiC ial. en-
irely satisfied that the identif cation
Eas complete. handed over the KEY to
he box, TO the III concealed chagrin
II The other woman. who had identified
icr against her will.-Ncw York Trib-
lfa
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
UNFINISHED TALEs.
Stories That Authors ErEia end Find
It Impossible to Finish.

IL Impossible to fI1iish.
The inability Of an author to flush 4
piece of work that he has engaged 20
10 and has already actually begun is
not 50 very uncommon thing. 1t is
said that Dickens began The Mystery
Of Edwin Drood7 withcnt any clear
conception in his mind Of l,ow the story
was going to turn out ana that had he
not died, leaving il unfinished. he
would have found almost any ending
difficult to reconcile with certain hints
contained in the earlier chapters. We
remember a rather curious instance of
the same sort as having happened 4
good many years ago, when the elder
Bonner was editing the New York
Ledger.
A very impecuniOus literary man sent
to Bonner the first chapters of NEST
exciting story which gave promise of
being just the sort of thing which
readers OF The Ledger used TO like
The story was accepted and ran on un-
interruptedly and very successfully for
about four weeks. when all of a sudden
the authors invention gave out. For
the life Of him he could not 20 Su with
the tale. and ne had 10 go 20 ". Bon
ner and say so frankly.
The next number of The Ledger ap-
peared without the expected install-
ment Of the story, but with brief
note 10 the effect that, owing to the
sudden Illness of its author, its further
publication was temporarily suspend
ed. This was TO give that em3arrass-
ed person n chance to recover his in
spiratiOn. Mr. Bonner asked him to
dinner, took him driving and in vari
Gus ways tried to brace him up for
further work. but 1t was of no use.
He simply could rot 90 on. ana so the
rest Of the story never saw the light
New York Commercial Advertiser.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
Thought They Were Dog.

summer in Dawson City is delightful.
aad even the winters, say those who
have staid there In that season, are
|gioriOus. Many are the stories told
j. bout the wOndrous beauties of the
trail over the ice and the White pass,
where even women have gone, han
|dling their dogs from day to day as
The men handled theirs Every man
and woman there las a story. all in
ieresting and some thrilling.
4 used TO like to start out first in the
morning. said Detroit woman. '-Onee,
as | hurried my dogs down the trail in
tie gray dawn | saw three stray ami
Inals romping on the way. Now. If
You catch up with stray dog on the
tran, he is yours; so, my heart fiutter-
Ing Win joy, began whistling to the
Aalf wild creatures.
At first they paid no attention to
iae. but kept rOmping and leap frog
eng up and down the train. slowed
up my team and put myself In front.
ile better 10 make my peace with the
rancgados.
When we had come within 100 yards
of ,hem. they stopped playing. sat
down and stared at us. l whistled
asain. and they an ran. How foolish
! felt when il suddenly dawned on me
that had been trying to harness three
1.ld wolvesr'-New York Independent
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06

The following story is told in THE
RecOllections Of Sir Algernou West"
One pouring wet night Lowe missed
his umbrella from the eloakroOm in the
house OF commons. where he had care
fully put it away under the letter
Il" He interrosated tile custodian.
Mr.. Coe, who told him Sir Z. 5.ytton
had taken it. Il told h..n it was
yours" he said. .and Sir Edward said
that if he found that it was when he
got home he would send ii back in the
morning"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
The Typewritcr and the Eye.

There is the general opinion among
oculists that the eye is much relieved
by the general Introduction Of type
written matter. 4 recent medical work
upon diseases of the eye gives great
many proofs in substantiatiOn OF this
opinion
The characters are so large on the
keys that there is no appreciable strain
on the vision and when dexterity is at
tanned the eyes can scarcely be said tc
be used at all. \ vast strain is taken
off the eye by writing with the type
writer instead of the pen. but the ad-
yaEtagcs of reading the typewriter
matter are even more important from
medical point Of view. and the strain
upoa the hands is also slight.
II is said that a person can work for
eight consecutive hours, with slight in
terruptions. without the hands being
conscious of fatigue. In using the
typewriter the additional labor of To-
cusing the eyes calls the muscles into
undue use. and the result is that many
defects of vision which would not
probably be discovered under normal
conditions are brought TO the front
Scientific American.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06

whats the difference between q bet
and wa-erg- asked the man who
tAiaks there are too u-=Iy words in the
English language.
a bet" said the friend who always
wears a dress coat after G O'Clock. is
something you make with a man.
which has 10 be paid. no matter who
leseS- 4 wager is something more re-
fned. Its made with a woman and Is
not considered collectable unless she
s-ins. s."-WashiEgton Star.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06

I didn't see him until the remains OF
his Office furniture had been sent away.
Then he rang for me 10 take him down.
He had not resumed his side whiskers.
There were scratches all over his face
and neck. a lump on his jaw. and the
wildness yer fingered in his eyes ex-
oeeted he wonId threaten or reproach
me, but be didn't feel at all that way.
on the contrary. there was sadness In
his voice and gentleness In his h1nd as
be reached out for & farewell shake
and said:
.Sammis. I cannot blame you ] be
gan right. but l did not carry out the
programme. / started in TO be father
TO you and to help lift that gigantic
mortgage. but later on / decided that
bluff would be the game 10 work. You
saw my bluff and went one better 1t
was you who brought her uPE"
Yes. sir"
And you gave my side whiskers
away
..Yes. sir"
well. il was my own fault Office
gone, whiskers gone. typewriter gone
and the redheaded woman camped on
my trail / am financially ruined, Sam
mis-. and can't say that / have even
saved my honor. However. hse's my
hand, and I bear you no III Wiz IL
die. shall forgive you; If / live on. it
will be a great moral lessen TO NE"
That afternoon Mr.. Rasher, the agent,
called me into his Office and said:
'-Sammis. has your wounded dignity
been healed?"
''Yes. sir"
Then don't take any more redhead-
ed women UP in the elevator. Such lit
tie AFFAIRS as that in room 6s cause gos-
sip and hurt our business"
Just at present our building Is as
quiet as a graveyard. and I hope it may
long remain so. Something may bob
up at any moment. however. but If ii
does it win not be the fault of
SAMAiiS, the Elevator Boy.
NJ Quad
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
Jack was Glad Too.

a Salt Lake City paper reports that
4 tail. Saunt woman, with ginger hair
and a somewhat fierce expression OF
couatcnance. lately came TO the county
clerk cf BoSelder county. Utah.
You're the man that keeps the mar
ria.se books. amt your she asked.
Yes. sa'am." he answered. what
book do you wish TO see:'
Kin you full out if Jack Peters was
marrisdT'
Search developed the name Of John
Peters. fer whose marriage a license
had bcen issued two years before.
Il tlion=id So" said the woman.
"AiaTried Lie Waters. didn't hep
THE i:c-ase Is Issued FOR a marriage
With Eliza Tstrs-
Yep Wen. I'm Lie thought
IL o-gli 10 cone in AMI tel you thst
JACK l'etsrs las escaped"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
Not TncffnI.

Lord John Russell was not tactfuI
On one occasion he took the Duchess
Of Inverness down to dinner. and after
he had sat down for a minute he jump
ed UP and went to the opposite side of
the table and sat by the Duchess Of ST.
Adams
His wife asked him afterward why
he had done it. lie said. 81 should
have been i'll II had sat with my back
to that great fire"
II hope" said Lady John. you gave
your reason to the Duchess Of Inver-
ness"
NO" he said. Il didn't. but / told
the Duchess of St. Albansr'
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
The First Umbrella.

To prove at what date the first um-
brella was made is a seemingly hope
less task. but we finG records Of their
use among the GreeEs and Romans
not alone as n protection from sun or
rain, but as a distinguishing mark Of
royalty. BY the time of Queen Anne's
reign they had become quite common
simply as a protection. but they were
all Imported until about 1902. when
the manufacture of them was begun in
England.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
Knerr HIS Pom

"a little fellow" says the Kennebec
journal, the Oldest in a family of little
ones, whose father worked away from
home winters, had occasion to visit his
grandparents for few days. On his
return he found another little member.
His remarks will show that he was
both surprised and indignant: We'll. If
yon haven't gone and got another gosh
darEed kid! Won't my father be mad
when DC hears OF itr
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
Wanted n stone.

"Have l not always been generous
with you in the matter of household
expenses:" be demanded.
Yes" she replied bitterly. Il ask
ed for stone and ye gave me bread"
Then he realized that he would have
10 get her the diamond she desired be
fore there would be peace in the fami-
ly.-Chicago Post.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06

Professor Simon J. Brown. the astro-
nomical director OF the naval observa-
tory at Washington. occasionally H.
dulses IN bit Of humor. On cae oc-
ession a colleague came into his Office
and. finding the professor standing.
said. ~Is il possible you work that
way? cannot stand standing"
THAT'S peculiar" replied Professor
Brown quickly ''Now. do you know.
] cannot stand sitting"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
AnproprIate.

At Chalfont. St. Giles, England.
stands a remarkable monument. erect
ed by Sir Hugh Palliser TO his
friend. Captain Cook. the celebrated
navigator. One of the most singular
visits 10 this monument occurred
in 1865 when Queen Emma of the
Sndwich Islands went in company
with Bishop Wilberforce. People in
the district still recall, with amuse-
ment, how the village band. wishing to
greet her majesty with an appropriate
tune and not knowing the Sandwich
Islands national anthem, toOtled forth
''The King Of the Cannibal Islands"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
Domestic InfeIicity.

Observation-Disclosures worrying you now?
Wife-Oh. was thinking about the
lace curtains you said | might buy for
the parlor. II ! don't get them. the
neighbors win think can't afford
them. and If do. they'll hide the view
of our handsome new furniture which
the neighbors might have through the
windows.-Philadelph Press.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06

Military engineers are practically
agreed that no material for forti6ca-
tons is superior 70 earth When clay
is not ob;ainable. as on TIE eeashore.
sand is collected into bags. and these
are laid in regular heaps along the line
OF the proposed fortincat.oa. In such
a fnrtifc3tion the balls from tie enc
my's guns link without doing damage,
and shells explode ka-mlessly.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06

Beware Of using the personal pro
noun 80 too freely in your talk when
you are talking in room fun of peo-
pie. EsOtists are often amusing and
entertaining. but as often they are very
much out Of order. - Ladies' Home
Journal
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06

Bathing with alcohol viii prevent in
furious effects from poison ivy. or. if
the poison has taken effect. wettlng
the affected part with akcobol. to which
sugar OF lead has beer added. until a
milky appearance IS obtained win give
relief. The wash is poison and for ex-
fernal use only.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06
Commemorative.

On 4 tombstone in an old New Eng
land churclyard there is an eb:taph
which never fails to bring smile tc
the f:,cc Of the reader:
ITO The memory Of Ann Sophia ard
Jul Hattie. his two wives. this stone
is erected by their grateful Fidower.
Iaus Il. Rollins. They ma, @ homa
rleasS-t "-WOmln's Journal
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-06-06

In baking cake or mufiins in gem
pans, it should be remembered that if
there is not quite enough batter to fill
all the set, litile water should be put
in each one OF the empty ones before
they are put into the oven.