Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1900-04-13
SOME AUTOcRATic DINERS.
A Union Of Consruous and lnconsruous Ele'
ments,

A Union Of Consruous and lnconsruous EIe
| ments.
Copy.wrtten from the Argus for the Standard
"Believe me, Colonel, ] am more
than delighted to have this opportun
ity," remarked Colonel Lewis, as II.
took comb from his pocket, and
raked the crumbs from his luxurious
whiskers.
"The pleasure, my dear Colonel, is
all mine," replied Colonel Bryan, al
he tipped up his soup plate, in order
to get another spoonful.
! "What's that-what's thatw ex.
claimed Colonel Blethen, as he picked
up his soup bowl, and drank the de-
| lightful concoction.
"You were not addressed, sir" re.
piled Colonel Lewis, severely, as he
deftly caught a cracker, which some.
body had tossed him from across the
table.
"I trust" remarked Colonel Cotter-
i'll, who seemed to feel the reponsibil.
ity that rested on him, a. that you gen.
tlemen will remember where you are"
And the Colonel speared pickle with
toothpick, and started in to enjoy
that palatable delicacy.
"Well." remarked His Accidency,
" for my part, I didn't come here
looking for trouble, but if that ID
niger don't bring me another plate of
soup I'll kick his blamed slins."
"My dear Governor" remarked Sem
ator Turner, as he reached across the
table and helped himself to the butter,
"don't you know that it isn't polite to
ask for two plates of soup?"
"Well," replied the Governor, who
appeared to be hurt, may not be as
polite as some people, but know bet
ter than to unbotton my collar when
Pm eating"
The Senator made no reply, but
reached up and buttoned the offend
ing collar.
"Say," remarked Colonel Bridges.
i can't 60 these here paper napkins.
l guess I'll use my handkerchief. 1t
was clean Monday"
"Don't do that" whispered Colonel
Lewis, confidentially, "you'll lose us a
hundred votes if the boys see that you
carry handkerchief. It's nearly as
bad as. wearing a nightshirt." And
the Colonel deftly picked his teeth
with his fork, like one to the manor
born.
"Governor," remarked Colonel Bry-
an, twill you kindly turn plate up
side down over the cheese? l will
want some bye and bye, and / don't
want it to get away"
Then everybody laughed. 2
"Say," sputtered Colonel Blethen,
"what blankety blank blank fosl Or
dered this meat9 It's tougher than a
boiled OWL" And he took it up in his
fingers and tried to tear out a piece
with his teeth.
"Put you re foot ON it, and use Il
jackknife," suggested Colonel Ma
loney, as he shoveled some mashed
potato into his mouth with his knife.
Il wouldn't do that again." whis.
pered Colonel Lewis.
"Much obliged to you, Colonel" re-
piled Colonel Maloney. "I'd forgot
ten that a knife cuts friendship"
And he shoveled the potato on
cracker, from which he transferred it
to his mouth.
"Out of Difference to Colonel Cotter-
ill.," remarked Colonel Lewis, 1--WE
have nothing to drink but water and
coffee"
"That's all right" replied Colonel
Bryan, az seldom drink-water."
"Say," remarked Colonel Blethen.
awe had better quit talking, and get
down to speeches. But I want to say
right now that If find the son-of.a-
sea-biscuit who put the kerosene oil
in this hash it'll 60 hard with him."