Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-08-29
SPINNING WHEEL.
NOT THE REAL THING.

NOT THE REAL THING.
It's the imitation people who are always in
the way,
The people who are aping what the others
do say.
Shall all be made to swelter when the sum
mer days are hot
Because some person, ill-infOrmed. behaVeS
as he should not,
And simply lays his coat off, with suspend
And says he is a shirtwaist man and really
thinks it, too!
He wonders why the public should not WI
come and admire
His costume it does his ncighbofs sen
Sible attire.
The imitation people-how they haunt MS
The imitation singer, with Il note that
brings despair
The imitation wag, who ScOrnS all Wit OK
cept his own;
The imitation monarch on his imitation
throne;
The imitation statesman with his strut and
The world is moved to sadness by all these
and many more.
But when one longs for comfort $ SarD III
days fercely hot,
The imitation Shirtwaist mans the torSh-
est of the lot. Washington Star.
Every student Of nouns, pronouns and
verbs knows the necessity of transpos-
| ing language for the sake of ascertaining
its grammatical construction. The fol-
| lowing shows twenty-sX different read
ings of enc of Gray's well-known lines
yet the sense is not affected:
The weary plowman plods his home
/ ward way.
The plowman, weary, plods his home
| ward way.
| His homeward way the weary plow-
I man plOdS
His homeward way the plowman,
weary, plods.
The weary plowman homeward plods
/ his way.
The plowman, weary, homeward plods
His way the plowman, weary, home
ward plOds.
The plowman, homeward, plods his
weary way.
His way the plowman, homeward,
His homeward, weary way the plow-
man plods.
Weary, the plowman hcmeward plods
| his way.
Weary, the plowman plods his home
/ ward way.
Homeward, his way the weary plOw-
man plOds.
Homeward, his way, the plowman
weary plOdS.
| Homewam, his weary way, the plow-
man plods.
The plowman, hemeward, weary plods
! his way.
His weary way, the plowman home
ward plods.
HIS weary way, the hemeward plow-
man plods
Homeward the plowman plods his
| weary way.
! Homeward the weary plowman plods
his way.
The plowman, weary, his way home
ward plOds..
The plowman plods his hemeward
| weary way.
The plowman plods his weary home
Weary the plowman his way home
ward plodS.
Weary his homeward way the plow-
man plOds.
Remember. DEAR" said the venerable
! father, as he sent his youngest and most
| petted daughter to Girton, that all MY
hopes are now centered on you. Remem-
Der in all your struggles for intellectual
| supremacy, your triumphs, that a good
name is rather to be chosen than great
riches
L will father replied the weeping
girl, and the train bore her away.
Three years later the girl married a
man who bore the name of Gander-
shdnks.-London Answers.
did Mr. Sloman really propose to you
last night asked the first summer girl
Yes replied the other. lie told me
was the only girl he had ever loved"
The idea! What did you say to him :!
Told him to go get a reputation, OF
course "-Philadelphia Press.
He came in breathlessly: hurrying like
enc who bore important news.
"A butcher in the marked dropped six
| ty feet,'' he exclaimed
is he dead? How did it happen? Tel
US about it,
No, he isn't hurt bit"
That's remarkable
They were pigs feet ''-Pittsburs
Chronicle-Telegraph.
IT GENERALLY DOES COME TO PASS
We ask dear friend, when find hin
For his private opinion ma. hap,
Aud if it should chance to agree with oul
own,
He's a mighty intelligent chan.
But if his advice isn't what we expect.
Or say, if it should e,er come 20 pass
Our own cherished notions he'll calmly re
We declare him an adjective ass.
Pick Me-Up.
Mamma-"Now go and say goodnight
to your governess, like a good little girl
and give her kiss"
Little Puss-'I'I say goodnight, but
won't give her kiss
Mamma-'.That's naughty. Why
won't you give her kiss?'
Little Puss-"Because she slaps PEG
pies faces when they try to kiss her."
Mamma-"Now, don't talk nonsense
but do as you're told"
Little Puss--"Well, mummy. if yot
don't believe me-ask pa.'-Punch.
: 1T seems funny to hear you ADM
you ever had stage fright" said the frs
nighter. 1T was at the beginning o.
your career. of course"
No" replied the great actor. sit wa.
during my last Western tour. The MAJ
appeared at the stage door so suddenly
and flashed his revolver so eXpertly tina
the shock nearly killed us passengers
Catholic Standard and Times.
There was little doing in society yes
terday.
Mrs. Van der Bilk-Smith ordered yea
outlets for dinner. She was exQuisitel,
|