The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-05-25
TEN THOUSAND WEDDINGS.
iniscences of an Old English
Parish Clerk.

ti1dli0ct ohC 10 SuO,lCCb " MAIL t1lANA
often fantastic, variations, but per-
haps the newest is to be found in the
recollection of a parish clerk, who has
assisted at no less than 10,400 mar
riages." The chronicler has wisely pre-
ferred to remain anonymous, for, look
you, mesdames and mademoiselles, what
ought fate to have in store for man
who not only confesses to have given
away 1,13O brides, but proceeds to re-
peat the process, with, it must be adj
mitted, the bridegrooms as well, IN
"Cupid's Pupils?"
Truly, do not think that the author
would find women altogether as Shake
speare describes them, soft, mild,
pitiful and flexible" If some of the
brides in question knew that he had
thus ruthlessly torn away the veil and
laid bare their tender secrets to the
gaze of an amused public. Ones belief
in the shrinking maidenly modesty in
separable from the ideal bride is some
what shaken to find that in some cases
the banns were put up by the lady I'M
known to the happy man, and that out
of 100 consecutive entries in the banns
book % couples attended together, ID
were given by the men, and no less than
So by the expectant brides!
The ladies were evidently seIf-pos-
sessed and businesslike, for the ''Par-
ish Clerk" makes no mention of their
introduction of themselves, but the
men-clumsy and awkward as ever
seemed one and all to indulge in at
tempts at humor to conceal their nerv-
BUSINESS. For example:
Come to commit suicide-I mean put
up the banns.
Want to enter our names for a hang
ing match, and we want to be prayed
for.
There also seems to be considerable
amount of trouble in getting accurate
information from both brides and
bridegrooms regarding names and
ages. In one amusing instance a young
lady was unable to spell her lovers
name, and the family grayestone had
to supply the information. That the
gentler sex is always in a hurry to
change names is an accepted tenet of
the male creed, but possibly few meet
with so blunt a rebuff as the young
lady who, on being asked her name
when the couple called about the
banns, gave the surname she was ex-
pecting to bear. The young gentleman
instantly turned toward her and said,
correctively: "You ain't-yet,' COW
ering the girl with bushes and con-
fusion.
Many eccentric characters, OF course,
figure among "Cupid's Pupils" one of
the oldest perhaps being widow who
had only buried her husband four
months previously, and upon giving
notice for her second marriage wished
that her poor husband" could know
of her intention to take another, che
would be SO pleased" Another indi-
vidual, perhaps not altogether singu-
lar in this respect, suggested that SIX"
should be substituted for ''v'' in GER
tain portion of the marriage service,
which would then have read that the
couple should live together as long as
they both should like.
bridesmaids, too, do not seem to be
always the quiet, unobtrusive assistants
one would expect; and instances are
here recorded of some who have taken
upon themselves to rearrange the we'd
ding group at the communion rails, or
keep the ring out of sight, while others
have thought it their duty to give the
bride away, or even dress exactly like
her, with veil and orange blossoms, so
that the embarrassed bridegroom
scarcely knew which to marry.
Among some of the more curious
weddings at which the author gave the
bride away were those contained in
the following extract:
Two spinsters, one aged 20, to two
men in dying condition.
A spinster pauper from workhouse
to wandering tramp.
A widow to gypsy.
a spinster OF rs to jet-black negro
and within the space of 10 months
one young lady to two husbands.
Men seem to come out very badly at
weddings, their courage oozing out at
their finger ends, when it comes to
taking the bride officially by her hand.
some indeed so that they have scarcely
been able to articulate!
"A few of Them" says the clerk,
have been as ridiculously ready to do
the brides part as nervously as they
performed their own, calling them
selves Sarah Jane, or any name men,
toned by the clergyman. In another
case the bridegroom allowed an ON
inous pause to follow the introduction,
i. Thomas but the bride was in no
mood to tolerate unnecessary pauses,
and instantly instructed him to pro-
coed. Her spirited command was Take
thee, Elizabeth-go on!' And Thomas
took her"
Joseph's intellectual capacity was
limited, and he spoke thus: 81. JOS
eph, take thee, Jane, to my wedding
wife, to have and to go" while another
had special intentions respecting his
brides future: "I, William, take thee,
Susannah, to my wedding wife to re-
serve and to behold"
Other recollections, all of them Gu
rious or interesting, many of them
amusing, are to be found within these
green covers, and the chapters are
short and bright. THERE'S no necessity
to go below the surface of that book,
or regard the author in any other light
but that of one who desires, as he says,
to be a recorder of realities. There is
no attempt at solving matrimonial
problems-for the fact that most of
them are beyond the reach of conjec-
ture does not nlwavs alasi deter the