davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
MEXICO AND CALIFORNIA.
Forty six Days Tour via Pennsylvania
Paslvoad

The Pennsylvsnia Rsilrosd personally con-
Quoted tour to Mexico and California which
leaves New York, Philadelphia and Washing.
ton on February 12 by special Pullman
train, covers large and intensely interesting
portion Of North Am rics. Mexico, Califor-
mia and dorado sre a mighty trio in eli that
q, peals to sn6 iascinstes the touri't Stops
will DO made AZ Gan Antonio, Tampico, Guam
ajuats, Guadslsjsrs, Que'etsro, City of Mexi-
co five Gays, Cuernavscs, Hgus,cslertes,
Los Angeles, San Diego r ve,side, Pasadena.
santa Barbara, San Jose (Mt. Hsmilton). Del
Monte, San Francisco five days., sslt Lake
Cit, Colorado Springs. Denver, Chicago and
other points of interest. Fourteen days will
be spent in Mexico and nineteen in Califor-
mia The Mexico and Calfornis Specisl."
sn exclusively Pullman train of parlor.smok-
irg dining. drawing room sleeping and o.
s.rvation cars, will be used over the entire
route For itinerary and full information
apply to Colin studds, Passenger Agent South
eastern District. Washington.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
CALIFORNIA EXCURSIONS.

leaving Washington every Monday, We'd
nesday and Friday at 1915 p. M, via South
ern hallway, new tourist sleepers, personally
conducted 70 through to San Francisco with.
out change of cars. The route Is through At
lsnia, Montgomery, New Orleans, Houston,
San Antonio New Mexico, Arizona and South
ern California. The cars are very latest pat
tern of Pullman tourist sleepers. Three and
one-half days to Mexico and Arizona, four
days to Los Angeles and five days to San
Francisco The tourist Car fare is less than
via any other route, saving from $25 t, $50
for the trip. For information spply to any
agent of the Southern Railway.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
DRUGGISTS.

For the past few weeks we have been receiv-
inc from the importers a splendid ne OF
Brushes. Tooth Brushes of many styles and
sizes prices from sc to 76c each. Shaving
Brushes badger and white bristles. Hair
Brushes large assortment, from lbc u
80 so each, all of excellant quality for the
price. Military Hair Brushes with ru'sei
issther cases. or without, a larger line than
ever before and beautifully finished, long
stiff bristles, olive or rosewood backs prices
from 81 to SIS per pair. We are always glad
I, show these goods which we know in many
instances to be of lower price than they are
sold for in Washington.
F.. g. LEADBEATER & SONS,
Eat.hli.hed 1892. Sontn Fairfax treet.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
FLORIDA.
Two Weeks Tour via Pennsylvania
Railroad.

The first Pennsylvania Railroad tour of the
season to Jacksonville, allowing two weeks in
Florida, will leave New York, Philadelphia
and Washington February 6.
Excursion tickets, including rail DAD trans-
po-tation, Pullman accommodations lone
berth) and meals en- route in 10th directions
while travelling on the special train will be
sold at the rate of $48 from Washington, and
st proportionate rates from other points. For
tickets, itineraries and other information sp-
ply to Colin Studds, Passenger. gent South
eastern District, Washington.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
CALIFORNIA.
Thirty-one Days Tour via Pennsylvania
Railroad.

The Pennsylvania Rail,oad Company has
arranged for a specisl PERSONAL y conducted
tour through California. to leave New York,
Philade phis aud Washington on February
81, by special Pullman drswing.room sleep.
ing car ana connecting at FL Paso with the
Mexico and California Specisl" composed
exclusive ly of Pu Imam psrlor-smok ng, din.
ing, dIawing-room sleeping. compartment
and observation cars, for tour through Cal.
fmnia, returning by March 20 Bound.trp
tickets covering all necessary expenses, So IS
from sll points on Pennsylvania Railroad.
For further information apply TO Tourist
Agent, 1896 Broadway, New York, or Colin
studds Passenger Agent Southeastern Dis
tr;ct, Washington.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
WILL BUN TO SAVANNAH.

Commencing December 10 the Southern
Railway Company will operate through train
service over its own line via Columbia, Perry,
Blackv lie and llendsle, s. c., into and out
of Savannah. Ga.
Commencing that date its through car SER
vice will be operated south of Savannah with
direct connections to and from Key West,
Fla, Havana, Cuba, and Nassau, N. p, via
Miami, Fla, and to and from other points in
Florida.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
His Nose For News.

Henry" whispered the maiden in
some embarrassment as they stood in
the hallway, where the young and
handsome reporter was preparing to
say good night, Its dreadful Of me. |
know, but I've been eating onions"
, Great Scott. Fannie" he exclaimed.
"You don't hink that's a scoop on me,
do you? l knew that as soon as /
came in."-Chicago Tribune.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
OLD MEXICO.
Twenty.tbree Days Tour via Pennsylvania
Railroad.

The Pennsylvania Railroad Company has
arranged for a special personally conducted
tour through Old Mexico by special Pull man
train of parlOr-s smoking. dining, sleeping, com
psrtmept, and observation cars, to leave New
York, Philadelphia and Washington February
~, visiting all the principal points of inter
est in the Land of Monte yuma" and spend
ing five days in the City of Mexico. Bound
trip tickets, covering all necessary expenses,
$500 from all points on the Pennsylvania
Rs, lroad. For further information apply to
Tourist Agent 1896 Broadway, New York,
or Colin Studio Passenger Agent, Southeast.
ern District, Washington.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
Altxamaris @as<ttf.
MONDAY EVENING, JAN. %, 1900
Tom Corwin's Mouth.

Tom Corwin had an enormous
mouth. He once said he had been in
suited by Deacon Smith. The good
brother asked for further explana-
ton.
"Well," said Corwin. when | stood
up In the lecture room to relate my
experience and i opened my mouth,
Deacon Smith rose up in front ana
said, Will some brother please close
that window and keep 1t closed? -
San Francisco Argonaut.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
Reyiyipg Appreciation.

whats an 'octogenarian, Cousin
Martha?"
well. an octogenarian is a man who
hates life when he is 10, but gets proud
of himself again at 0."-lndianapOls
journal.
Having a Great run on Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy.
Manager Martin, OF the Pierson drug
store, informs us that he is having a
great run on Chamberlain Cough
Remedy. He sells five bottles of that
medicine to one OF any other kind, and
it gives great satisfaction. In these
days of la grippe there is nothing like
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy to stop
the cough. heal up the sore throat and
lungs and give relief within q very
short time. The sales are growing,
and all who try it are pleased with its
prompt actiop.-lSouth Chicago Daily
Calumet.l For sale by all druggists.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
Having a Great run on Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy.
Don't Tobacco spit and Smoke Your Life Away.

Don't Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Life Away.
To quit tobacco easily and forever, be mag.
netic. full Uf life, nerve and vigor, take No-To-
BAG, the wonder worker, that makes weak men
strong All druggists, SOC or 81. Cure guaran-
teed Booklet and sample free Address
Sterling Remedy Co Chicago or New Yor,-.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
A Specimen of Cockney HumOr.

1t consists merely in ignoring the hor'
rible or tragic side Of funny situa'
ton. Everybody knows the old story
Of the cockney laughing after a fire.
".Jump, yer silly fool" says. Me an
my mites got a blanket! An e did
lump. an there warn't no blanket, an
e broke is bloomin neck! Laugh? l
'aven't laughed so much" - Black
wood
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22

L. T. Thirkfeld, Health Inspector OF Chi.
cago, says "Kodol Dyspepsia cure cannot be
recommended too highly. 1t cured me of se.
we're dyspepsis." 1t digests what you eat and
cures Indigestion, heartburn and sl forms Of
dyepepsia.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22

A girl should never throw away her
old slippers. They will come in handy
at her wedding-an much handler in
after years.-ChicagO News.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22

The secret of success in life Is for a
man to be ready for his opportunity
when il comes.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
GOAL AND WOOD.

by ELEvATING THE QUALITY
Of our coal we lower the price in economy Of
consumption. Consumers will find that it is
cheaper to use our high grade Lee Coal, chat
has been screened and freed from slate and
stone, than that of an inferior grade. 1t gives
more heat, less ashes and burns longer than
any other coal, and our prices are as low as
any. Coal and Wood under cover.
J. r. ZIMMERMAN,
Foot OF Queen street Alexandria, Va.
Telephone II.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
Leave Washington Leave Alexandria.

N b. same schedule Sundays, commencing
at 9 30 q. m.
POTOMAC RIVER LANDIN GS--STEAM.
ER WAKEFIELD leaves Washington Mon.
days at 7 90 q. m, and Alexandria At 8 90
a. M, for landings as far a. Nomini and on
Wednesdays and Saturdays at same hours for
st. Clements Bay and Leonardtown.
G. w. RIDLEY, General Manager.
JOHN B. PADGETr, agent.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
Baltimore Weekly Sun

The BEST FAMILY NEWSPAPER.
All the news OF the world in attractive
form An agricultural department second 10
none in the country; market reports which
are recognized authority; sbor, stories COM
plete in each number; an interesting wo-
mans column, and varied and attractive
dersrtment OF household interest.
One DOll,r a year. Payment invariably
in advance. Address
A. 8. ABELL COMPANY,
Publishers and Propfietors
Baltimore. Md.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
VXTARFIELD 4 HALL

WAKEFIELD HALL
DRUGGISTS
CORNER PRINCE AND FAIRFAX eJs.
Prescriptions rpscialty.
English, French, German and Domestic
Toilet Soaps; Genuine Farina Cologne; Mag
nolia Hedyosimis, Geranium and tlorids
Water; Genuine Lubin's Extracts Sponge9,
Hair Brushes and Combs best English Tooth
Brushes: a full assortment Of Patent Medi.
,ss: Coxe's Gelatine, Corn Starch, Sea Mos
lsrine Spices Of all kinds, and select stock
Of all articles sold by druggists at prices az 10"
a the same quality can be obtained elsewhere
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
ss7 THE SUN 1900
Baltimore, Md.

Baltimore, Md.
THE PAPER OF THE PEOPLE, FOR THE
PEOPLE AND WITH THE
PEOPLE.
HONEST IN MOTIVE, FEARLESS IN EX
PRESTON, SOUND IN PRINCIPLE.
THE SUN is the highest type OF news-
paper.
THE SUNS reports from all parts of the
United States are unsurpassed.
THE SUNS Cable Service is the finest
known. When you get THE SUN you get
news and intelligent presentation Of facts
with it. as we'll as ca, efuly prepared articles
OF editor al writers os highest standing.
BY mail Fifty Cents month"; SIX months,
So; one year, SO.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
SPECIALTIES
The George r. Hill Bakery,

National Biscuit Company. Alexandria, Va.
Travellers Luch, the great quart cup goods.
Animals, Lemon Nuts, Zoos, Excelsior Butter
Crackers, Family soda kiscuit N. B. c., Pull.
man Oyster Crackers, Fsrina Oyster Crackers,
Hills Lream Biscuit, very fine.
Our line of staples is unexcelled-Snsps.
Lemons, Oysters, Sodss, Waters, Penny Cakes.
Do you know Uneeds Biscuiti Uneeda
finger Wayfer and the American Beauty
Ginger Snaps In pony barrels.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22

TyEAS.--Fine new crop English Breakfast
l. and Japan Teas just received by
]. G. MILBURN.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
STEAMERS.

-
VIYASHINGTON STEAMBOAT COM.
w PAEY UJmITED.l
Bound Trip, is Cents.
In effect on and after MONDAY, September
10, 1898.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22

QUALITY TELLS.-A carefully selected
W stock of Nuts, Candies, Figs, Oranges
Grapes, &C.. for sale by
J q MILRURN
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22

20 Beach, Jos S
1874 Burroughs, T
q ROB Co
20 Balm & Paxon
176 Brill, Louis
46 Baggett Oscar F. City Market
1O4 Baggett, Oscar F, Residence
, 40 Beck ham, J T & ] q
SO Barley, l. c, residence.
/ ~ Barley, L c, office.
80 Carlin, J F Sons & Co
$50 Carlin, Mrs NJ
80 Chilly, J
80 Chatham's Stables, & L Myers 6 &c
1875 City Engineer
10S City Treasurer
, 10Y Columbia Engine House
144 Carter Bros
III Cogan, J A & W W. Plumbers
1877 Csrlin, G, residence.
81 Chalmers, A c
% DeDielt, J A, Residence
81 Drcfus. J s. Co
las EmmaIt & Co, wv
40 Entwisle, + l.
123 Episcopal High School
,, 127 Entwsle, w, Druggist
l. 81 Economy Grocery.
Exchange and Ballard, II P Helwig, prop
81 Fisher Bros
as Fendall, WE
AZ FannOn, TT
SO Fleischmann House.
11S Flanigen Jos r
lab Francis, Peter
, lO2 Grilbortzer, A F
So Garrett & Monroe
So Graves, WP
1863 Green, Andrew
90 Hinken & Son
rs Hellmuth Bros
81 Harlow Eros
20 HILL Geo r Co
81 Howard, T Clifton.
Al Hamilton & Co
LOG Hydraulion Engine House
17S Harden, L L
155 Ii p Helwig, Exchange Hotel.
LAC Janney, J Il Il Stabler & Coz
"a jail
rs Janney, DIR Chas
1874 Jackson, Wash
% King, Chas & Son
13 Kirk, II, jr
4S Lindsey, n & Co
81 Lindsey, N, Residence
y Leadbeater & Sons
1913 Matthew, !
90 Marshall, A
rs May, w II {. Son
1871 Miiburn. &c
90 May, w, Residence
ia Mushbaeh, Capt G A, Residence
"a Mushbach, Capt A, Office
80 Matter. E P, electrician.
% Marbury, F f, Mgr
116 Norfolk & Washington Steamboat 60
1877 Neale, J Stanley
81 O'Brien, pr NV
16o OSullivan q Greene,
loo Pullman, S M
53 Pollard, FL
"a Pollard, z j. Residence
SO Pullman, p q Co
49 Portner, Robert
"a PostOfice
IA Police Headquarters
lob Postal Telegraph Co
33 Pennsylvania Co
liz PeltOn, &C
1919 Pelton, &C
81 c=;--l Ed
. Ramsay, G VIM
so Reardon, VIM NJ
lO5 Relic, Truck House
93 Robertson, H +
80 Roberts, Walter Office
80 Roberts. Walter, Residence
lao Roberts, wv
1853 RammePs Hotel.
II Smoot, G Sons & Co, Tsnnery
30 smoot, c Sons & Co, Warehonss
92 Smith, BIB
80 SUMMERS, & j W
81 Smoot, w A & Co
9S Smith, Francis L
122 Slaughter, DR. RM
151 Smoot, J C, Residence
152 Smoot. Jas Z & Co
81 Strider ] II, Residence
2 Southern Railway COMPANY (W&O
l2S SOutharn Raiiwa ~ Connn.o. w
AZ Simpson, II A
Standard Oil Co
161 Schiller Beef Co.
l37 Stevens Moses (Hacks)
1872 Simpson, Geo L, Mayor
113 Soper, ED
1853 Virginia Glass Works
60 Vanaelstyn, Lunch Room
164 Warfeld, E, jr
1875 Wsrfeld & Hall
39 Washington Steamboat Co
1873 Wood, Mrs MA
1856 We'll Bros
1856 Weadon Bros
30 Wise, Geo & Co
81 WISE Geo, Residence
142 Wallace, J s, harness.
100 Wood, G b,
100 Woolls, w P, Wolfe and Royal
l63 Woolls w z, Queen and Henry
109 Woods & Son, W ?, Queen and Fairisi
147 Weiderman & Kelly
11SZimmerman, JR
Observation-Disclosures, J II. Fairfax c J.
Adams, Chss Cennevile-Utterbach B.
e. Manassas-Cannon House. Wellington
-Leechman, c. h. Hay msrket-HulA-h,
Geo. A. Waverley-Janney, Ell
TOLL RATES OUT OF CITY 10 CENTS
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
TELEPHONE EXCHANGE.
FOB Wood, Mrs M A
InADA UYo~llss W -

FOB Wood, Mrs M A
lO43s Woolls. VIZ
10 Zimmerman, J B, residence
77* Zimmerman, 3. Office
Bnandae Va W. j Malone
Fainax Court House, Va, James Adams,
G n'rev lie, Va. B q Utt' rba'h
Manassas, Va, Hotel Va n, A Davis.
weiung'on, C. G. Leacbman.
Haymsrket Va Chas. b Wilson
Wav rly, Va. Il Ii Janney
Maple Or,ve, Va, DR. Gas IL. Jannsy.
For rates apply TO Central Office.
PAY STATIONS
90% Contra Office
1859 Fleiscbmann Hotel
1899 Market House
sIndicates Metallic Circuit and Long d 5.
tance Trans mtter.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1900-01-22
TELEPHONE EXCHANGES

COUTHERN BELL TELEPHONE AND
y TELEGRAPH COMPANY.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1900-11-07
ker's man, bake a cake as quick a.

ker's man, bake cake as quick as
you can" etc.
The bet was made before yours on
the level" the ponderous John L., went
to the hospital to have an operation
performed, but 1t is to hold good until
the mighty man from Boston gets back
to his saloon, in case the man who
took that end of 1t loses. Mr.. Sullivan
does not permit even his intimate
friends to toy with him, nor his imme-
diate attitude toward strangers who
approach him even in properly rever
entail spirit invariably cordial. So it
ought to be easy to imagine the sort
of reception freak election better
would be likely to get at his hands,
particularly one who could presume
to tap him playfully on the cheek, and,
more particularly still, one who would
take such grevious chance, Just after
John l.. had been turned loose after
months restless confinement in n
hospital. The black middleweight is
also person of dignity, and would
not be apt supinely to submit to hay
Ing his ribs pOked and to having any
body bawl doggerel at him ut short
range. II looks as thought the loser of
this rash bet had his work cut out for
him.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1900-11-07
To Investors

Place few dollars in the oil fields of Lewis
county W. Va Here opportunity for investment that
lis seldom equalled Buy while the stock is low. New
wells drilling and the developments may advance the
stock any day is confidently expected that the stock
of The Sand Fork Oil and Gas Go. will be dividend
paying stock in from four to six months. You will
be able to buy it for less than offered today You
can buy it for cents the dollar Don't let this
opportunity pass. The stock will go above par.
The Great Copey Gusher that drilled six weeks
ago still flowing 500 barrels per day We have 900
of good oil land in this oil field We going
to commence drilling can get material
1.-THE ground We may get gusher large the Copley
gusher Our chances good; yes, they are better
than they for the Copley when they commenced
drilling. We know it is oil country, then the
did not know it, This is of the opportunities you
seldom have offered to you Take hold and make
money. Remember there is connected with this
company in any capacity that will make dollar except
by the dividends the stock, or by the advancement
the same The property is paid for in full The stock is
full paid and worcestershire All stock is the same.
There is preferred stock. All stock must advance
alike and dividends must be declared and paid all
stock alike
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1900-11-07
A Tricky Dor.

Not long ago n very fat spaniel was
introduced into the house where fox
terrier had always been the master.
The latter was told. however, to be-
have well to the newcomer ana not to
bully him. So the two seemed fairly
friendly and in the end got In The habit
of taking short rambles together.
However, the fox terrier was evident,
ly of a thoughtful disposition and on
one occasion came across bank, or
wall, which was easy enough to leap
off, but there was greater difficulty In
returning, The fox terrier sprang
down the bank and cntced his heavy
companion to follow, with the result
that the latter could not get back, while
the former, by reason OF his greater ac-
tivity, was easily able 10 do.
Now the terrier saw his opportunity,
returned home and cruelty left his COM
panion lamenting. Never did the for
mer seem happier or gayer than OF
that day whey be had once more the
sole run of the house and he sulked
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1900-11-07
A Beggar's Plea.

"Could you spare few cents for a
sick child. ma'am?" said woman to a
young lady who was about to get on a
street car in Bellefield.
Being of sympathetic nature. the
young lady looked In her purse and
found she could spare cent piece.
The coin was handed to the beggar,
who took 1t and said:
"Thank you, lady! It'll be blessing
to the child. It'll buy him pint--a
pint of milk" she added as an after
thought.
The car came just then, and as the
young lady mounted the steps she said:
"Oh. don't get milk for the child!
Get him the pint" r' -
The woman scowled. and the chr
rolled on. = Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph. a
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1900-11-07
DIAMOND BAND.
Was Ready to Head Delegation to
Canton.

The Diamond band was held in
readiness for triumphal march. Dur
ing the entire evening and until after
midnight "open house" was kept.
Supt. Marks, of the Diamond COM
pany, bought the boys cigars and 9th
or things which 60 to make life beara.
BILE, and when 1t became known to a
reasonable certainty that things looked
favorable for Mckinley an impromptu
parade was started. the band leading.
For short time 1t looked as though
there would be a repetition Of the
scenes of 90 when n general exodus
took place In the direction of Canton.
The rain. however, together with the
lack OF available cars, killed the pro-
ject almost as soon as 1t was suggest
ed, and the parade gradually dwindled
away, as the marchers grew damper
outside and drier inside, until the band
was left almost alone in its glory.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1900-11-07
EngIand's Old House.

A great curiosity is house LOO
years Of age and yet fit for habitation.
This old dwelling. the oldest inhabited
house in England, was built in the
time Of King Offa Of Mercia. 1t is oc-
tagonal In shape, the walls of its lower
story being of great thickness. The
upper part is of oak. at one time the
house was fortified and known by the
name Of st. Germans gate. 1t stands
close to the river Yer and only few
yards from st. Adams abbey.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1900-11-07
SHE HAD INFLUENCE,
And the Policeman Realised II onI
Too Soon.

And the Policeman Realised IL Only
Too Soon.
"The cop has been down on mig a
year or so because found fault With
the color of his hair" said the Four
teenth street fakir as there was a lull
in business the other day. "and yester-
day he comes along as l was sellin an
old lady two pairs of shoestrings for
cents.
I'll run We In if We don't hev a
keer! says the copper as he halts pt
my elbow.
"But what am doinT says I.
"'Obstructin the sidewalk says he.
"'But I'm up agin the bulldin.'
"'Don't make no difference. When
I say yer obstructin, then knows yer
obstructin, and obstructin the sidewalk
Is agin the law
But amt agin the buildin? says /.
"'Yer body is says he, but where's
yer breath? Amt ye breathin over the
sidewalk, and amt that obstructinT
"'Then I'll stop breathin.'
"'And ye'd better shet yer eyes too
Obstructin Is obstructin whether it's
with the body, the breath or the eyes,
"'Can't l use my voice to tell this
lady that she kin hev two long or two
short pairs for cents2 says 1.
AFT ye do, Ill collar ye! says the
cop. Didn't l say yer breath was an
obstruction, and kin ye talk without
usin yer breath? And what's the old
woman a-doin here blockin the wayT
Take off yer hat when yer address
ladyp says she as she braces up tc
him like brick.
"'But amt addressin of one! ht
says.
"'Mebbe not says she, but yer are
addressln the mother-in-law of Police
Captain -, and we'll leave 1t to hin
to decided
"Say, Gully, yer orter see that copper
kerfunk He went red and pale, an(
his knees knocked together, and hi
tongue hung out. Clipped in ant
called him liar and loafer, and h'
never even tried to hit me. Blmeby ht
sorter groaned and wabbled off, ant
today he Is shufiln his brogans among
the darkies on Thompson street. Ye
can't allus tell whose mother-in-law al
old lady may be, and it's good rule t
go slow and not let yer freshness worl
out through the top Of yer Lat"
M. QUAD.