The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-04-12

In SELECTING this serious subject
@'S eo'" conscious of the fact that
vocabulary contains a vacuum
of cutlery with which to hew to the backbone and
let the microbes fall where they may We are also
conscious Of the fact that there large quantities
of these qubbing quacks buzzng beneath broadcloth
and fat salaries. and liable to pounce down upon
degenerate soul and jerk out of bondage worse
than the people pulled Cleveland out of politics.
We are also aware of the fact that some of these
sweet-scented scaawags should occasionally be dis
turbed like flies around molasses spigot if not for
the purpose of watching their wabbling antics then
for the purpose of seeing how quickly they can ot
down another page of resolutions.
Hypocrisy is something not purchasable by the
yard sold in kegs like packed herring, but is &C
quired by scientific and studious It's scintilat
ing rays flashes from the budding butes of society
as distinctly as it does from the bald pate of a
colored deacon at an annual prayer meeting. The
rankest growth of Hypocrisy however, is to be found
in those who willingly whisper words of holy
nature into your moment and the next skin
a clothesline of it's WORKOUT socks. They imagine
that they lot of wingless angels who were an
chored on this mundane sphere of ours for the ex-
press purpose of condemning those who were unable
to worship the Almighty in the glorious but
golden standard which they have erected as their
ideal. In business hypocrisy and humbuggery are
practiced to an unlimited degree Your grocer may
be found occupying front seat in church on Sun
day and week days selling oleo for rst-class
creamery butter That yonder politician with the
silk hat gloves and gold headed cane who is walking
down the sidewalk though he owned the town,
will talk to you patriotism by the hour, until you
imagine that this land is regular garden of Eden,
instead of creeping creatures trust promoters, legs
lative corruptors saving bank wreckers and Doodle
aldermen
This class of hypocrites hold midnight meetings
wherein mutual admiration taffy is doled out with
machine-ike regularity at SO much per hour. After
they elected their economical hullabaloo captrap
oozes out of them quicker than grease floats out of
fat rooster in oven They are our most success
full marauders and while proclaimng from the house
tops their honesty public official, on the one
hand, on the other they allow themselves to be in
duced to vote for dishonest franchises clamourfor
increase of salary and install their family and favorite
friends into comfortable positions wherever the
public pap flows the thickest.
There some brands of hypocrisy practiced
continually by our Christian members of society
that would even cause the heather Chinese to run
up signal of distress if it should happen to get it's
hydra head through that door which the powers are
holding open. They deliberately sprinkle few
pages of filthy matter in their book for the express
purpose of getting few wide-a- wake ministers to
circulate petition Of condemnation This medium
of advertising fake books is universally considered
as the cheapest and surest way of reaping rich
harvest from book that even love-sick, spike
toed dude wouldn't read if paid prncey sum.
There is also another class of hypocrites VIII oh
we wish to mention, and that is those persons who
are everastingy Haunting in your teeth their deeds
of philanthropy; just how many coppers they have
given toward civilizing heathen how tenderly they
placed their well groomed hand around so-and.so
and lifted him from the gutter of debauchery and
crime, to the back pew in some church Although
the recital of these bold adventures sounds like
music to their ears to others the pain is worse than
showing subscription paper under their nose for
money to purchase organ containing the late.t
ornaments.
There are several more brands which we would
like to label with lambent ease, but will give them
the "glad hand" at present. There is no mistaken
these gentry, their actions proclaim their hypoc
risy as certainly church spire designates that
place a house Of worship.