davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11
JOKES ron INDIGESTION.

sorosls has made discovery. To say
who. what or where sorosis is would be
as sacrilegIous as to put the prefix Mrs"
before the name OF one Of its constit-
uents. Every well-lnformed person Is sup
posed to know that sorosis Is the mother
Of women's clubs" that u has It's habitat
In New York. and that for thirty years
Il has been eating breakfasts anywhere
from noon to 3 y. m in the SWEETEST hotels
ana restaurants. and az those breakfasts
discussing with becoming dignity and
gravity The Wilderness OF the What and
other abstF1sa r9oblems OF modern lifo
as applied particularly to advanced wO-
men.
Thirty years OF breakfasts Astounding In
such rich mental pabulum as sorosis al
ways serves has had its effect. The die
tlonary says that "sorosis'' IS a fieshy
fruit: and there Ia no going back on the
dictionary. freshness Is supposed to be
indicative OF the antithesls OF high or
der Of mentality or spirituality. How
could the aeshy fruits OF thirty years OF
Sorosis abolish or avoid embonpolnt ana
Indigestion Laughter" said Or Katha-
rine G. Townsend. is a specific. Laughter
brings into play the necessary set of mus
oles to hasten salivary secretions and as
sist the process OF assimilation" Dr.
Townsend prescribed jokes with future
sorosls breakfasts. aud threw In a few to
assist in the better assimilation OF the
breakfast then on. The assemblage caught
the idea quickly. and the whole gamut OF
laughs. from the demure giggls to the
hearty ha hal was run around the board.
This be assured at once. was not In
spirit OF levity but in all seriousness. So
rosis does not believe In or encourage
levity. nor does she ever treat any subject
lightly Several Jokes were administered
and received as after-dinner pills are ad-
minlstercd and received. and laughter was
INDUCED in for precisely the same reason
that pepsin Is INDUCED m-fOr the diges-
ton.
Thus II occurs that sorosis. always q
leader. has given new precept to wo-
mems clubs. There must be laughter At
their reflections, for the more perfect as
sanitation OF the viands served. Club
women. therefore. will be under the neees-
sity OF supplying themselves with Joe
Miller Jokers and religiousiy memorizing
the so-called funny columns OF the cur
rent periodicals. The bright auip and the
merry hA hal are TO have the call In the
women's clubs. Not for tho fun OF the
thing. but for the health.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11
INDEPENDENT ELECTORS IN THE
SOUTH.

SOUTH.
The Macon Telegraph does not think
that the South has much 10 hope for
from either the Democrats or the Repub-
leans Of the North. Therefore II suggests
that the South should 90 into the cleo
toral college independent OF any party OF
the North. at least until they repeal the
fifteenth amendment. and there make
terms
The plan might be made effective. but
Il - not exactly clear how. The electors
have no AUTHORITY TO do anything except
to cast their votes. They cannot make
terms. II they should vote contrary TO
the wishes Of those who elected them
they would provoke a revolution.
With whom. therefore. could the
Southern electors make terms7 Certainly
not with the party leaders. The leaders
could not 20 outside OF the platforms OF
their respective parties. They would have
no power to do so That being the case
the South would be just as we'll on by
making a choice Of platform before the
election
conventions on new questions they
sometimes originate in Congress. AZ far
a. We can see. the south's only chance to
make her influence felt for her special
beneAt in national affairs. Is to send her
ablest men 20 the national conventions OF
the party OF her choice. and TO Congress.
Since the War OF Secession she has been
altogether 600 willing to follow the lead
Of the Northern Democracy. Her public
men should be more independent. There
were ADLER statesmen In the South prior
TO tho War Of Secession than In any other
part of the country. and there are men
In the South now who are better fitted
to lead the Democratic party than those
who have been directing Hs fortunes m
recent years.
We may not see the entire scope OF the
Telcgraph's plan. but what we do see
Of Il does NOT appear to be practical.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11

That a woman may be de facto the
head OF the household Is very well under
stood: THAI she may de jure occupy that
position has just been affirmed by the
United States Circuit Court OF Appeals
at Richmond. Va. In rendering his de-
cision Judge Parneli said: when an In
teiligent. active. Industrial, frugal wo-
man flnds she has married a man who,
instead Of coming UP TO the standard Of a
husband. Is a mere dependent. who ao-
knowledges that he Is only a helpmaie
10 his wife. obeys her instructions. pours
his little earnings into her lap. &C
knowledges her to be and always to have
been the head Of the family and leaves
TO her its support. II would be eontrN-
dlctory Of fact and an absurd construc-
ton Of law 20 say he. and not she. Is the
head OF the family"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11
THE MORNING NEWS: SUNDAY. NOVEMBER IL. 1900

For several years TIE supply Of rubber
has been short. and prices have ruled
hiEh. The advent Of ne bicycle a. pop
uiar vehicle ana later me use % rubber
tires on automobiles an3 carriages OF all
sorts. doomed the cost % The material 20
an unprecedented point. Some anxiety
has been felt with rosrec, TO the supply.
and many efforts have been made TO dis
cover satisfactory rubber substitute.
However. Apprehension of the failure Of
the supply has been aiayed by the dis
covery Of a great forest % rubber trees
In Bolivia Bot this discovery should
not discourage the experiment. IN rubber
tree cultivation which Is being made in
Florida
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11

From the midst OF che stygian gloom
there comes the hollow. bi-mesailic voice
OF one crying out IN despair. Civilization
10 threatened" ~ says. and nothing short
OF q phenomenal movement can save g."
II II the voice Of "Coln" Harvey. made
thin by long confinement. Com" IS 90
ARMY convinced that the country IL going
to che demni,ion bow-wows that. IN or
der 20 escape The cataelysm. he has d..
serted Chicago and win hereafter live in
ArkansAA-
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11

II seems that fate is determined TO
make an oil msgnate Of Col. James NJ
Guney. Democratic National Committee
man from Pennsylvania. A "spouteT' oil.
well has been struck on Col. Guney's
property In West Virginia. and Il is pour
ins out wealth az the rate OF about $500
per day. AT this rate it will not take
long to put Col. Guney into the list OF
petroleum barons.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11

The unlundest cut OF all was the action
Of Nebraska Mr.. Bryan certainly had
right 20 expect 10 carry his own state.
I'VE went for IL for oil we were worth
said Senator Hanna. 10 speaking OF Ne
braska. adding. but We did not expect
10 carry a." Were extraordinary efforts
put forth in that state by the Republi-
cans for the purpose Of humiliating the
Democratic candidate7
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11

when the will OF the late George NJ.
Pullman was fled, four years or SO ago
the properly was listed AZ about $780,
ooo. 4 mai accounting was submitted TO
the Probate Court In Chicago yesterday
by the trustees. According 70 the cal
euiations the estate has increased IN
value 70 over 100000.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Baltimore sun Dem) says: mfr.
Andrew Carnegie on his return from his
castle IN Scotland declared that President
McKinley's reelection means four years
more OF prosperity Yes. but prosperity
for whom The past four years have un-
doubtedly been a period OF great prosper
iiy for Mr.. Carnegie and the monopoais-
tic combination over which he presides,
but users Of iron and steel who have been
compelled 70 buy his product at an iniiat-
ed price do not feel that they have had
their due share Of the prosperity. Railway
companies and builders OF modern struc-
lures have had dead weight Of excessive
cost OF material loaded upon their enter
prlses and are SIN complaining OF tie
extra profit the Carnegie trust Is exact
inE under cover % the lariff. II the Re
publican party wishes TO make a proper
return 10 the country for the confidence
just EXPIRE ssed "a the polls Il will az the
first opportunity try 70 correct tho obvious
bad results OF the Dingley tariff by lower
ing duties on al merchandise produced
by extortionate trusts
The Chicago Chronicle CDemD slys:
"Populism has failed in It's Democratic
masquerade because Democrats them
selves would have none OF a. Socialism
has failed IN SIS fantastic parade ia hor-
rowed hnery because Democrats shrank
from d ia loathiug as natural az a was
crediiable The nondeacript radicals Of
every stripe who struck the shrii chord
Of class hatred and attempted 20 array
men against men By occupations or by
considerations OF fortune failed because
che heaven Of democracy Is stil active
among the people. irrespective OF party
and in spite OF unfayorabie conditions has
once more prevailed"
Tho New York Evening Post Ond) says
Massachusetts Is the only Eastern state
where the returns Indicate that any con-
sidcra BILE number OF men made the issue
OF imperia ism the test In casting their
ballots. The increase In Bryans vote
there. as in Connecticut and New York.
was due IN part to the fact that more e.
forts We're made 70 get Democrats 20 the
polls this year than IN 1885. but the fall
ing-on IN the Rcpub lean vote undoubtedly
represents the loss 20 Mckinley OF thous-
ands Of men who followed the lead OF ex-
Gov. Boutwell, on the question OF impe-
rialism"
The Boston Globe dnd.) says; I'VE are
proud OF ouI navy and zea'ous OF our
dignity or the high seas. But why we
should suddenly need forty new wnrshlps.
Including various types not hitherto built
for naval purpose as contemplated hy
the national board OF construction az
Warrington. Is not clear 10 many peo-
ple-s
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11

The cold wave seems to have been gen.
eral throughout the cotton bolt. II was
A. cold in Mississippi. Alabama and
louisiana on Friday night as IL was In
Georgia. This being true no more top
crop cotton need be expected. The bear.
ing Is done for this year.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11

The indications for Georgia to-day are
for fair weather. with variable winds. and
for Eastern Florida partly cloudy weather.
probably showers, except in extreme
southern portion. winds northeriy light
northeasterly.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11

His millions OF admiring friends are be-
coming Just bit uneasy about Senator
James X. Jones OF Arkansas. Last adj
vices from him through tho public prints
were 20 the effect that he had gone to
bed on the aiEht Of the election. stnl
kepefuL
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11
'NEIMSNf' Is yS

In three explosions b.
Geo. AIDE. author OF the
books Artle. Fables tn
Slang. etc. Mathews and
nulgcr. Walter Jones. Jo-
sic Dewitt. Norma Whal-
ley. Philip ". Rv.ey Daisy
Gehrue. Tony Hart. Helen
Merrill. Adlyn Estee. and
Wiseman's Seronaders.
Seats on sale. prIces-g,
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11

seats 0n 70. PrIoes-sl. Tse. 50o and p.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-11-11
Skin-TOrtured Babies
and Tired MOTHERS
Find Comfort in CutiCura

INSTANT RELIEF and refreshing sleep for Skin
tortured Babies and rest for Tired Mothers in
warm bath with CUTIcURA SOAP and single anont-
ing with CUrIcURA the great skin cure and purest
of emollients. This is the purest, sweetest, most
speedy, permanent, and economical treatment for
torturing disfguring, itching burning bleeding,
scaly crusted and pimply skin and scalp humors,
with loss of hair, of infants and children.
Millions of Mothers Use Cuticura Soap
Lucrative weaknesses which readily
osrefh
No
q he world.
B. How
Ever unoT free.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1900-01-23

Dome: mas piirDsa Sic t6un,
SEER 4fehor, tpenn mid Der Sturm
lebt in bic See fegteoo"
Qiiefor: n@et benz bis6en Dinb
mid rieiig barber punbern."
X 4
8ater (eraG6lt BON einem beriibmten
Selfmabemann): sNls Singing pers
btente er iiG nit &ub6iiten Iein 8elb."
aino: rSrugen oenn bic aiibe baS
mails Siite?"
Gr (pd6renb bes Gfens gu Ieinsr
iungen 5rau): n2iebes WeibGen, i6
permutbe, baB in Seinem &o9bu9e
Srudfebler iinb."
S06terden: Dem Ssufel mub es
aber iebt gut Seben, papa."
Batter: pWarum benin, mein &inb2"
SD9ter6en: yWeil er gar feline
Slisgen fribt. Sisb' nur, pie piele Oa
itnb."
Ilte Sunsfer: nMir itnb bret 9erz
ebrer untreu geporoen-i9 babe bod
ihmd6li6es pe6!"
Sausarst: .Wenn sic bas pirtli6
bdtten, lpdre bod giner tleben seblies
ben."
X \
SGnsden: rSntel, Did m04t' i9
als Spiel5eug baben."
Snfel: rWarum benin, Sdns9en?"
5dns6en: npapa iust INNER, an
Dir mar ni6ts mehr au p~erber6en!"
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1900-01-23
Sn eiueln aliiRlid)ru beim 1T INNER .ll,lil,.

SSOO-Finnos UNI S25O-Orgeln hrer ss gtHhsr nfbrmstr ned rmhsr tuu
emh SHtg Gsb aer thlte Home NusicB Box ue as tnhss rail r annfsm tma
ln .9r@ns 2emansta fam bic ibptmsam sta correct sarautE ideh DE ahht 1T INF gPage
ut St1huaeand rIuMr-ku paer lot eHf I'D aumBt Cute cueu uni .e6d 70 am me elm.
ptr1In h,{ Bs,nGbcnm mn rem tr g%JrSsrr Se grYSrrEmr S 10 ~ aSN
um 0eanes en- rrdhhsSS esnngen lux Sher. Wan tam u o. hf duNnapibnt ShdI
anmt tasn 9INmt, M rmeTtaes SnfrumTti 5lmenee Pen Uenfm ~um htsensn Ran.
gmt 10 ph, mh SupGduns Mr. SO 90 in ibeuemG Ind ndh llnft gDss uu gm.
ffu3 REM 81 90 reg Grub unfbiht amhn mann @h Sediun flo tbnea 9mes & Ncn
MARIE trS akps n. Standard Mfg. Co. IS SNn Ctr, 9p Drt J. p Beg 2g3 Gsrr
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1900-01-23

Sdriftitsller: nWas fasit Su gu
meinen bumpriitii9en S9riften9 sou
i'd ristiren, lie bruden gu lafen9"
Sreuno: rWarum ni9t9! 9teIei4t
fommen einise Iuitise Srudfebler bin>
ein!"
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1900-01-23
r8eaner, Sablen!"
,8itte febr!"

HoSNehNt 0ST'N"'
,8itte iebr!"
,gl1o, meme Srar fat cine 8Gniez
leber, mel Mabel cine 9'fiiate Sruit,
mein Sunee elm &albsbirn uno i6
finf S9uppen unb elm Sapeinspbr."
n
Run, limb beine 9sbidte i9on
ale ~perfauft9"
ySas serdbe ni6t, uber berSleiI6s
bauer pidelt iebt nur nod Die feineren
Wuritpaaren barin ein."
v
.@ls Milberungssrunb fir bic Qns
9etlagte mD6te i6 nod ibre 6eutsus
tase sspib b%sIonbsrs acknowledgements
Susenp anfiibren, bab lie ni6t raoeIt."
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1900-01-23

81: vWarum ftebft Du benin itunz
benlans Dor Der sroBen Sampfmas
i9ine2 &omm' bod nit in bic anoern
4btbetlunsen!"
g.: rRein, i9 bleibs bier! Sas
1T bas Ginsise, mas meine 5rau ni4t
g~etauft baben pta!"
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1900-01-23

2ebriunse: rSie, Meeiterin, felt mir
4benbs Suppe efen, i4lafe i'd INNER
ilei6 nadber elm, pie Jon RaB!"
Meiiterin: rHa, tpie tommt bsnn
pas?"
2ebriunse: .Seb'n sc, bic Suppe
mudt INNER 10 tleene Sosen; bas
itedt mir on, unb slei9 na4ber bin i'd
op6 tpsa!"
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1900-01-20
BOULEVARD TOWN SITE.

a. soon as the S2Oo. coo are ra -ed anI
suo>, rihcd for. the Boulevard stock.
holders will he notified that the stock
has been raised and for them to or-a-
nIZe. appoint their officers AMI dir,r-
tors. When fully organized. the money
on hand with general warranty
decd of an the remaining property un-
sold. viii he turned over to the Boule.
vard Company.
The Peninsula Land A. Immi grafton
co. hSs laid out 4.OoO town lots and
l.5ou 10 2uoo acres Ina smzu tracts
from 4-acre up to 2u-acre tracts. by
which the S-OoOto can be ~ sd
The Peaiusuls Land a Immigration
Company has lald sut avenues and
streets. All avenues run north and
south. the streets east and vest Bach
avenue IL named after state of the
Union. The following States are rep
resented. Idaho. Washington. Alaska.
Oregon. Nebraska. Kansas. Missouri.
Wisconsin, Pennsylvania. Kentucky.
Louisiana. Georgia. Florida. New
York, New Jersey. New Hampshire.
Iowa. Maryland. Mississippi Connect
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1900-01-20
THE NFW TOWN STTE

Below is a plat of the 5000 acres Of
land. part OF which has been laid out
in town lots. part I'm small tracts of
four to twenty acres. and balance not
laid out Watch The Gazette FOR price
list and either notes OF interest concern
ing Boulevard
Whereas. IL 10 the intention % the
Peninsula Land X immigration Go. to
settle the entire Peninsula. and not 20
build town. this company has adopt
ed the following plan To make Boule-
ward their centre of attraction. being
located as 10 is with - many natural
advantages They have selected this
beautiful. fertile tract or 5000 acres or
land and formed a plan by which
S2uo.oOo can be raised. and encourage
manufacturers and Industries 10 locate
there. So that those coming with small
means can fnd employment AT least
part OF the time, at the same time be-
able 60 improve their homes. IL L.
therefore. the intention OF this COM
pany 20 lay the foundation fer a town.
raise the capital stock OF 500, 900. and
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1900-01-20

oyster farms and fisheries along these
rivers.
We have 10000 acres around old WI
hamsos-g which we viii cut up 90 suit
you Williamsburg - waking up fr0m
ner long sleep. many new buildings
have been erected in the past four or
i've years. The future or Williams
burg Il very bright We have some
choice city property for sale here at a
great bargain, where you can give
your children a college education az A
small expense. We have over 1900
acres for sale around WILLIAMSBURG
from one 20 four miles OF the city
These tracts win De cut up 20 suit you
lf you want 20 locate at williamsburg
There are great opportunities here
We have farm property for sale near
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1900-01-20

This map shess our field OF opera
tion from Richr>@nd 20 Newport News
The Peninsula Land * Immigrati0n
Co. has land and real estate property
FOR sale. IL you have decided 20 locate
at Newport News and in a hustling
city. lee ns know what you want: W.
have II for you We have bargains IN
Newport News. IL you want To locate
at Morrison. six miles from Newport
News. Iet US know how large a tract
and how expensive a place you wish To
near Morrison from $40 20 500 per
acre. aIso az Lee Hall we have some
Near Grove. along both rfvers-the
James and York-from SIS 20 $50 per
acre, with beautiful river views. Great
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1900-01-20

something nice inquire about this farm.
Remember. sll trsnsa ctions and trans
fers are conducted under State charter.
A perfect abstract 0f title h furnished
those who buy from us
Watch for the description and pT1c
list OF property for sale in this paper
from time % time g. We have space.
We shall s0on issue An illustrated
catalogue which viii give our entire
list up-to-dats.
Address. The Peninsuls Land 4 I'm
migration Co., Providence Forge. Va.
PLEASE STUDY PIE MAP.
We publish this map Just To show
komeseekers at n glance the beauty of
our location. Look at this narrow
strip OF land from Richmond 20 New
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1900-01-20

Eweii and Lightfoos from So per acre
up. Some az Toano and Diascund. but
our greatest bargains can be Asd
around and neSr Boulevard. Here ne
have choice farms Of al sExes. with
buildings. OF without buildings. frorn
- per acre and up. We have 1000
acres for sale AZ Providence Forxe
Ia body or IN tracts TO suit, alsc
AZ Roxocry- IL you are after the
best. buildings convenient. beauty
Of location. SC. buy az Eiko. Here we
have 500 acres. 800 cleared. 800 IA
heavy timber that has never beea
touched that you can get for a great
deal less thar the buildings cost. The
owner. On account OF the death OF bis
wife. wishes 70 sell cut and stay vita
bis friends. So. n you aTe looking for
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1900-01-20

cut. Virginia. Ohio. Ilnnshs. Dakota.
Ainnev-ots. Colorado. q tah Texaz
The streets are numherrd ths third
street from the river is Lid cut lOa
feet wide, and ~ asmesi Main street.
Virginia avenue y ais0 l0O feet wide.
The rect ~ The avenues ars al - feet
wide. All blscks Aave alleys with
crus- ~trs-etr - feed wide. We have
reserve-i manufacturing sis~s az the
river, alss 80 tbs raliruad Anvoae
admiring Bature eahAst haip loesting
at sueA ssa stlrul piace- Aay p~r-oR
wantlag a hsae Ia tse south cannot
10 better than take stSck m this pro-
paced tewR ate. A peTssR writing 20
make an Investment viii nBd thls the
chance 90 bis lRe. The company m
tend te make Ia -. Rsmem hcr. II the
stock l. not raised ysur money is re
turned In full.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1900-01-20
Price List Of Acre Property .

Anyone wishing acre property IN pisce
of city lots can have II At the following
prices. All 4-acre tracts, 3 shares. Oi
equal 20 SIS; 6-acre tracts. shares. ot
equal 20 500. 1O-acrc tracts. 8 shares
or equal 20 $50; 2O-acre tracts, To
shares. or equal 20 $3.50. Bach stock
holder has an interest in all the balance
Of the unsold property IN the same man
uer as those taking city lots. and are
stnckhnldcrs of the Boulevard ompanv.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1900-01-20

port News. See our shipping facili-
ties. See our markets how 70 reach
them. the distance. etc. Then you Will
notice that these rivers temper the air
in summer and winter, prevent long
drou.hts. furnish fish. oysters and
Wild fowl for the table. and AFFORD
pleasure 10 young and old What
could be more delightful than n home
Ia this Sunny Southland. where the
farmer csn enjoy 20 the fullest meas
ur- prosperity and contentmentf ON
the Peninsuls. where there are NO
billiards. cyclones. or pests; no crop
failures. 40 freezing la winter OF sun
strokes in summer home may be Sc
cured for n little money. The South Is
going TO lead in the new era now
dawning. Come and get the pick.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1900-01-20

Write TO John Dahn Sec. ard Gen'l
Mgr p. L. & / CO., Providence Forge, Va.