Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1900-04-05
THIS MAN SAW RED RATS.
The Awkward Position in Which
Such "a Sight Is Apt to
Place a Man.

Place a Man.
at was a most peculiar dilemma"
said the young man who told the story
to Times-Democrat reporter, "one
of those situations in which q fellow
can't explain himself for fear of being
misunderstood.
"a couple of weeks ago l rented
suite of rooms in an old building not
far from the Hotel Royal, one of those
ramshackle barracks that were once
handsome mansions, and precisely
adapted to the picturesque semibo-
hemian snuggery 1 had been longing
for several years to establish on that
side of town. Well, l moved in, and
everything went all right until the
afternoon Of the second day, when l
was smoking a corncob pipe in the rear
room, which overlooks very quaint
bricked courtyard, and happened to
notice a rcd rat on top of the cistern-"
"a red rat!" exclaimed his listeners,
IN astonished chorus. did you say red
rat or dead rat?"
81 said red rat and meant red rat,
replied the narrator. "The rat l saw
was abnormally large in size and
bright vermillion in color. Naturally
was somewhat startled. In fact, l
got such q move on me that l fell over
backward, and when l picked myself
up the rat was gone. ] tried to argue
that the thing was an optical Illusion,
probably some scrap Of red paper
which the wind had carried to the els
tern top and blown off again, but 1t
was no go. 1 remember the beast too
distinctly. Three or four days had
elapsed. I was beginning to think 1t
was all a dream, when I again saw the
red rat-this time with a companion
equally large and equally red. The
two creatures were summing themselves
at the end of my own back gallery, and
1 saw them through q window not 20
feet away. There was no earthly
chance for mistake, they were large,
live rats, the exact shade OF old-fash-
toned red flannel. l glared at them per-
u
slammed somewhere and they both sud
denly vanished down a drain pipe.
That visitation determined me to solve
the mystery or perish in the attempt,
and l rushed bareheaded down to
little store on the same block. Excuse
me- said to the proprietor, but did
you ever see any red rats around here"
must have looked pretty wild; any
how he burst out laughing. Only once,'
he said. They wore little tin caps and
carried blue parasols.' oh, but seri'
ously! 1 insisted. You'll find it seri-
ous, said he, unless you quit. drink
ing
THAT discouraged me. Do what l
would those internal red rats galloped
through my brain morning, noon and
Tight. l went into store to get a
cigar and paralyzed the clerk by asking
him for an imported red rat not too
dry, and a CORES pendent wired to know
what the dickens 1 meant by writing
him that red rats were certain to drop
five points before the close of Mondays
trading.
Finally l couldn't stand it any long
err, and although 1 had seen nothing
moro of the rats, l decided to quit the
rooms. That was last Thursday, and
when l told the landlord l wanted TO
90 he was astonished, and pressed me
hard for reason. Well, to tell you the
truth l said at last, L don't like the
color of the rats in that house. They
don't match the furniture oh, the
red ratsy he said, laughing. Are there
still some of them left?' Yes, /
fairly yelled, and for goodness sake
tell me quick what you know about
'em.' why, there were two German
| feather dyers on the third floor last
spring. he said, and just for fun they
caught lot of rats and dyed them red.
1t killed most of the lot, but three Oh
four seemed to get fat on it, and I've
seen 'em running around lots of timeS.
Surely, they haven't scared you out,
have they?' Then lied abjectly, and
told him no; that it was something
else, and let him talk me into staying.
"The red rats don't bother me now,
In fact, find them rather decorative.
Come down and take look at them
some time."-N. o. Times-Democrat.
The Hospital Orderly.
The position of hospital orderly
though not such an easy one as thai
of the patient, is also not to be despised
The hours off duty are many, and the
work by no means hard. The orderly
is supposed to undergo a course OF
training; one of his duties is to write
accurate reports. These begin in
crude and elementary form. A night
report on a serious case which demand
ed hourly attention ran thus: "Patien'
were of no trubbel." (As an amend
ment to this report, "Nurse and patien
slept well" was suggested) Anothel
on an unpopular sergeant was brief
jackson is a COMPOUNDED newsance.
More advanced specimens are these
saunders 'ad is nurrishment reglar, h
also ad bleeding from the nose.
"O'Flannagan were very restless ant
would not sleep without l sot besid
i'm and took milk reglar." But VIII,
wonder at these efforts of ignorant or
derlies. when medical students hav
been known to write notes thus: 9TH
louse surgeon dressed the wound look
ing red and angry" or, Patient com
plains of severe headache, but has n
cbildren."- Cornhill Magazine.
How Wars Begin.
!, Tommy was reading the war news
l.