The Saint Paul globe., 1900-06-17
SMART SHORT STORIES.

nessee is not the emily man who hddlad
himself into office, says the Washington
Star. Losing relates that in 1S43 he met,
at Oswego, n. Y, Maj. Cochran. then
nearly eighty years Old a son-in-law Of
Gen. Philip Schuyler, who told the story
of his election to congress during the ad-
mtnistration of the elder Adams A YES
sci was to be launched on one of tho
lakes in interior New York, and people
came from afar to see it. The young
folks gatncred there, determined to have
a dance ut night. There was a fiddle but
no fiddler Young Cochran was an ANA
teur performer and his services wero de-
manded. He gratified the Joyous conf
pany, and at the supper table Cne Of the
gentlemen remarked, in commerdation of
his talents, that he was ''Gt for con-
gress." The matter was talked UP, and
he was nominated and elected a repre-
sentative in congress for the district then
comprising the whole Of New York west
of Schenectady. He always claimed 10
have 'Gddled himself into congress" 1t
seems that history repeats itself, accord
ing to the proverb.
Il picked UP a newspaper the other
day" said the iceman, that had a poem
of cid Joaquin Miller, and, reading the
doggerel, l got fearful jar, for l
thought he was jumping onto us fellows,
TOO You will see that my mistake was
natural, for his stuff started off like this:
Ice built, ice bound, and ice bounded.
Such cold seas of silence, such room!
such snow-light, such sea-lght, con-
founded
With thunders that smite like a doom!
Il said to myself, Gee whiz! has the
poets got after us?' was dead certain Of
it when I read little further and ran
up against this:
Hear that boom! Hear the grinding the
grOan
Of the ice-gods in pain! Hear the moan
OF yon ice mountain hurled
Down this unfinished world
felt relieved, 1 can tell you, when
l looked at the heading of tne thing and
found that the old dub was writing about
Alaska It's bad enough to have these
tellers after us who write prose, to saw
nothing of the chatterlng idiots who
write poetry" and the iceman lighted
50-cent cigar with a $40 note and ordered
up refreshments for all hands.
An English clergyman who thought his
parlShioners were getting so wicked that
he must tell them what would become
OF them If they did not mend their ways.
preached a sermon on the eternal fate
Oh the wicked, says Success, which ho
sought to bring home to some of the
noted transgressors by personal admOni-
woman
VINO was well known in the parish for her
sosslpplng propensities he said to her;
nope my sermon has borne frui+
LOU heard what [ said about that place
ing of teeth?'' ii''7i'-
CO.. We'll as to that" answered the dame.
II as anything to say, it be tbis-Iet
them gnash their teeth as as 'en,NT -e
ain t." VII
AL IIpperary, brave Tipperary! they
wanted to take the horses from O'Con-
nell carriage and draw him themselves
upon his way. This will never do he
sald TO his daughter-in-law. their in
tehtlons are excellent. but they'll get So
eAclteo that We'll find ourselves in the
dltch presently" Bursting open tbe car
riage door. in a moment he was ont
among these gigantic Tipperary men. lust
as big as any one of them. Now bovs
be reasonable he said; 'leave the horses
uIluer the carriage But shure we'd
rather pull you along ourselves. sir" was
the reply as the preparations for so do
ing went gallantly forward Cali right
on your own heads be it" cried O'Cor,
nell good humoredly and throwing off
MS coat he set to with pugillstic intent
boxing them right and left until he got
them to desist. Their amusement and
delight knew no bounds, and when on re-
gaining the carriage he doubled up his
hand and shook 1t at them, with a beam
ing smile and twinkling eye, the air
was rent with enthusiastic shouting, and
ne drove off even a greater hero than
when he had come
To understand the above Scene and +o
thoroughly appreciate it one must have
Irish blood in ones veins. 1t was not so
much the daring of the act that stirred
the people up, for, of course, he knew
they would not lay hand upon him. but
it was the originality of it. the fun of it.
in point of fact what they would them
selves have called the "divilment" of it,
that won their hearts and made him more
popular than ever before.