The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1900-05-12
THE FUNNY MAN
BY Kennett F. Harris.

if you had told me that you had
previous engagement" said the man
who dealt in grain through the medi-
unn, of tapes and yellow bulletins to
the~ehronic dyspcptic with the sad
expression of countenance. II
wouldn't have been the only one dis
appointed, either; the madam would
have gone into mourning. She thinks
you are about the whole thing when
it comes to entertaining q miscel-
laneous crowd that never heard you
before"
That's good" said the dyspeptic,
gratefully, as he seated himself at
the lunch counter. II like to hear
that. 1t makes me think that / have
not lived entirely in vain"
Don't mention it," said the grain
man. II thought it would please you,
so as it happened to be truth 1 said
it. 1t wasn't any particular exertion
to cay it, and L don't really deserve
much credit. She told me once that
she thought you were awfully funny.
but she don't know how funny you
really are"
AT the same time" continued the
dyspeptic, II would rather have been
invited for my more sterling and solid
qualities. l thought that your wife
knew and appreciated them. 1t gals
when | am as good as told that it is
the mere brilliancy-the meretricious
brilliancy. / might say-of my con-
versational and anecdotal powers that
has got me the bid"
81 wouldn't eat any more of those
doughnuts if / were YOU" suggested
the grain man. You'll suffer for it
later on and your family will suffer
more or less, too. Honest, though,
and not with any intention of string
ing you, I'd like to know how you
got IT,"
I'm the legitimate way Of 'business,"
replied the dyspeptie.
I'm referring to that coruscating
CAB of yours"
I'm glad to notice that you don't
fall into the popular error of think
ing it comes naturally. l got it as all
genfuses get their requirements, by
hard work. As kid 1 was diffident
and reserved"
you have got bravely over it,"
Certainly have; but that was the
way started out. was that kind of
kid that when 1 was on a visit to
my Uncle Georges 1 only opened my
mouth once, except to put food into
it, in the three weeks that 1 was
there. OF course you understand that
said Yes and NO and Thank you, l
believe 1 will take another piece but
I didn't attempt anything in the con-
versational way"
Except the once?"
Except the once. The way that
happened was that there was, a mar
ried cousin at dinner that day and
she had brought her baby along.
1--WE were about half way through
the dinner and they were all talking
about the baby. After awhile there
was let-up and I raised my eyes
from the tablecloth and saw my mar
ried cousin was looking at me. 1
looked at her, too. She was not at all
a bad-looking woman, but that wasn't
why, exactly. 1 guess 1 just looked
at her because / happened to and !
hadn't the grit to break away. felt
that my face was getting hot. She
smiled at me sort of encouragingly,
but it didn't have a cooling effect. l
realized that it was up to me to say
something, SO said it. Even then 1
was not the boy to shirk response
bility, ! asked her: is it a boy or a
girlT
"The effect was something ire
mendous. My Uncle George let the
carving knife drop on the floor, and
my Cousin Caroline, who was rather
an idiotic kind of girl, sputtered on
glass of water she was drinking.
The rest of them didn't say anything
they just laughed. Sayl
"And my Uncle George wiped his
eyes with his napkin and he remarked
in choky kind of a voice: why, VIII
liam, you're getting quite conversa-
tional.' Wouldn't that frost your"
~ think" said the grain man, with
an air of thoughtful consideration, IL
think that 1t would have nipped me
about the edges, 30 that think I'd