New-York tribune., 1900-04-01
THE CHRISTIAN 'WHOOPER."
THE TRUE TALE OF A WESTERN NEWSPAPER
EXPERIMENT.

THE TRUE TALE OF A WESTERN NEWSPAPERS
EXPERIMENT.
From The Denver Post.
"The Daily Whooper'' of Tba Dam
Was truly progressive paper;
SS fesreS5 n6c fTrosSr opnidn of eyfry .hspe4 sham
That never economzed in ink
In telling the people @ what to think
In his own in Impressive 4! and P9mp0ls Shn "ayd ad
Ana 9eSRS fdGw "2pS up where HS a. The " whoopeP led
And And kep its wnsh se h Wei adcr fodk 5nn
He'd give the camp enduring, fame. 49, 1900.
on the roster of progress would grave It's name;
From weak and fickering taper
He'd make of it an electric light - .
That. would shine so long and would shine so
That f woEd wSqS 5Sa in bsus M wild
There want scheme or startling EI 's. fad
To make it the proper caper!
He said one day that the time was ripe
For Christian ID daily and in twant va br5iHv the pipe bssa
But he'd formed the opinion-on the dead
The nip paTSo9 TSo9' who 6atl.d the hoSts Of sin
With the Gospel WsaPob bo1 ne maa ;aG the plan
WhO had 5"G ne3eT that
Sny TGfPom papeT Ge which !hhi 10 he no Could Weld
In driving the devil from the field,
Aq As the ne hungry bird grabs the early worm
The preacher-editor sat in. his chair.
Aha ls PALE pa hll lips eye1 mGHi1g avn gnasua as al ii gb
That in worldly optics presages hght!
But S G0HlGn fstnrnng g'f he'd ind tack in seat
sH4 aSmed {9e saSg i9Sh On We w 'S Won't do ming
There wasn't lamb in his blOomln mock
But had happened in just TO have a talK
And to tell him how the religious press
Should be handled TO make it a grand success
A score of poets. both hes and shes,
Had hoped around him like pesky meas
And had read productions of every KIND
That could spring weeds from uncuItured MIND
Communica tions of monster size
Enough to paper the arching skies
Were piled before him. and Sister Grubb
Had waltZed around with jack-oak club
because the printer had said that she
Had a mammoth OF OLD, Wnen ne
Had written it plain and in letters bold 49,,
The printers swearing and chewing plug.
And the foreman oft to hidden jug
Retired to brace himself for the change
In handling copy to him so strange
Yet ali moved on in a tangled way
Till the hour of on the second day,
When a tough from Bitter Creek hit the hoor
And proceeded to make an unchristian roar
"Is Sanctifled edltOrI hey!
Is YOU de guy dat's a-makn' de play
To run dis shop like a meeting house?
Is you de prayin'. psalm singin mouse
Dat dareS squeak o morality
TO a gang o gentlemen such as me?
Git ready 10 die fur I'm var to help
You de river, you plous Wnelp!
Then the preacher rose and peeled his coat.
And shook his beard like a William goat,
And grabbed a chair in his righteous hand
And sent tough to the sulphur land
And kicked the devil bout ten feet high,
fOreman'S face knocked into pl,
And licked the printers smashed the press
And pied the forms in awful mess,
Then few for home i'll excited mood
And sought for his closets solitude.
Where his soul in prayer he upward poured
And squared himself hope. with the Lord.
And Editor Hustler lit his pipe
And resumed his chair with troubled phiZ,
And sadly mUTmured: The time is ripe,
But the man for the 'casion hasn't riZ'