The daily sentinel., 1900-06-26
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AN OLD-TIhfER.

One has to walk so far each day.
And use such occult clubs to play;
Nor any frock nor any hat
Won't suit a swagger game like that;
So maintain and boldly say,
like a game of old croquet.-Gazoot.
After July the 1st. the census man
won't count.
Salida, Grand junction like, will be
good this 4th
Along about or o'clock in the morn
ing this weather fellow begins to feel
around for the bed sheet.
The Kansas Echo tells of daredevil
farmer, one Abe Simpkins, who stopped
off between trains Monday"
There are those who still immagine
the only Chinese problem worth worry
ing about is the laundry bill.
For night sweats and insomania come
to Aspen-Aspen Tribune. We can get
those without going clear up to Aspen
after them.
This city has bug house scorcher
from Missouri who rides wheel so fast
his mustache came off and made noise
like buzzsaw
A Fruita girl went to sleep while
walking. Her feat was outdone by
girl here who recently went to walk
while sleeping.
A train passed over a Kansas editor
and he has not been in his right min d
since-Bugville Gazoot. Maybe it was a
train OF thought.
After risking his own life to save a
drowning man ST. Louis citizens only
reward was the humiliating discovery
that he came from Chicago.
A Milwaukee girl refused to marry
her lover because she detected beer on
his breath. Maybe she was bred in old
Kentucky and found the Milwaukee
breath Objectionable.
They tell of West Jefferson, o. man
who "fooled the surgeons" Evidently
he surprised his attendants by recover
ing and then quietly and cruelty gave
them the horse josh.
NEVER SUITED.
All folk who growl about the cold
Are cast in natures queerest mold
For these same folk-as well you wot-
Keep right on growing when It's hot
Gazoot
Our weather man is not able to train
his machinery to record over 100 in the
shade. Several merchants have ther-
mometers that will readily run up to
ia with no apparent effort.
newly welded Denver couple found
full grown baby on the door steps the
other morning and are now no doubt
stronger believers than ever in the old
foggy theory about storks, etc.
A dispatch tells of an absent minded
Chicago citizen who mysteriously cleft
his residence in his shirt sleeves" He
is no worse than that local millionaire
who may be seen any day including Sun
days with several stoves in his hat.
The pied d-face skeptic who edits the
Kopjville Excuse is authority for the
statement that "selfshness s the guild
ing spirit OF mankind" Judging from a
limited acquaintance the Excuse man
will be safely enough piloted thro lifes'
stormy seas.
Twins we're born to both Mr.. and Mrs.
Herman Bye OF Peru, Ind, on June IA.
Now Papa Bye may, with clear COD
science, take little Bye in each arm
and walk the floor singing "bye bye-ba-
by" without the aid or consent Of any
othes nation.
An emminent scientist has recently
announced that prunes are good brain
food. This encouraging news, when the
tsize OF this years cr> p is considered will
be to many Of US as silver cloud on the
dark horizon that has 80 persistantly
surrounded our fuzzled intellects.
Congressman Bell talked to the men,
bers of the Columbine band Satu rday
at Glenwood. The judge thought the
musical kindergartners the only things
on ice, and told them so in his affi ores
cent style, which made the girls think
they were grown up.-Carbondale Item, |
That prominent young society girl
who spends most OF her time around