Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1900-09-08

ha
quit reading novels.
She-Don't you think short .s..
make woman look shortar3 Hav
but they make the men look LONGS.
Judy.
You can't keep q secret. MARI.
Yes. can, but always happen to TAN
things to other girls who can't"-rM
cago Record.
"Kill that mosquito, why don't vorr
i would, you know. but hate to .v
violent hands on my own flesh and
blood. Life.
Myer-Was Smyth's marriage a fan
ure? Gyer-Failure isn't a name far y
Why. 1t proved to be a regular Ds,s.
ware peach crop.
"The Filipinos haven't any idea what
humane people we are" mo: thev
are being taught, however, that appear.
ances are deceitful.
Bnl-Did you ever know an amateu,
fisherman to tell the truth? Jill-Oh
yes; heard one tell another that he
was liar.-Yonkers Statesman.
Charlie Bingle Is looking for a Goa.
Of arms" ANY successY yep. he.
found his great-grandfather was a
tailor. Plain Dealer.
Goodness, John! How queer tia
baby looks. l believe he Is going to
have fitv' by George! believe
you are right. Where is my camerar
-Tid-Bits.
Nexdoor-I haven't heard your dog
barking at night for some time. Homer
No, guess the poor fellow got discour.
aged. We have twins at our house
now, you know.
Mrs. Van Swamp-William, dear, as
you have another chill coming on, will
you kindly hold the baby's rattle In
your hand? 1t amuses the sweet pre-
cious so much!-Bazar.
First Country Sport-Where do You
put up when you go to New York;
Second Country Sport-Oh, I'm not a
bit particular; all pawnbrokers look
alike to me" -Exchange.
He-Do you know, darling, that |
think 1t makes me a better man every
time kiss you. She-Well, at the pace
you are going now there will soon be
no more room for improvement.
mo sensible girl would elope with
the coachman to-day" "Why, mol
Coachmen are back numbers. She'd
fly with the man who runs the auto
mobile. "-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Little Willie-Say, pa, what's a re-
dundancy of expression7 Pa-Using
more words than are necessary to e1-
press ones meaning, such as wealthy
iceman," wealthy plumber" etc.
Mr.. Slayer (time. 11:3O p. m.)-Are
you interested In baseball, Miss De
Jones? Miss De Jones (suppressing q
yawn)-Yes, to q certain extent dear
ly love to see a man make a home run
occasionally.
A strong recommendation: But sir,
what has your candidate ever done to
deserve the support Of the people"
well, for one thing, this Is the first
time he has ever run for office."-Chi-
cago Journal.
Teacher-For what else was Julius
Caesar noted2 Tommy Tucker (whe
had studied the lesson somewhat hast
ny)-His great strength, ma'am. He
threw a bridge across the Rhine.-Ch-
cag0 Tribune.
'The goldfish" said the professor,
'1ays considerably more than a million
eggs" at Is exceedingly lucky for the
Goldfish that she doesn't have to cackls
over every egg," said the student who
came from the counTy.-Tt-Bits.
Softleigh-I-aw-am WEAKLY getting
to be-aw-quite poet, doncher know.
Miss Cutting-Indeed! Softleigh-
Yaws; have little book in which L
aw-write down me thoughts In whyms
evahwy night before wetiring. Miss
Cutting-It will be q volume Of blank
verse when finished, suppose.
II hope you are one Of the people
who can keep cool in the presence OF
danger" Il am" answered the man
who wanted place as a private watch
man. Have you ever demonstrates
it," 81 have; once came near being
drowned in skating pond. Wash
tngton Star.
What is the woman's offenseT "She
threw brick at neighbor woman
your Honor, and hit q man standing
behind her." 1.-THE man IL guilty of con-
tributory negligence. II he hadn't been
an idiot he would have stood In front OF
her. Case Ia dismissed. "-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.