The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1900-08-15
EVANGELIST
ON CR|MPS
Joyful News Is Not For
ShIppingm asters.
J. |. McComb Still Fighting Lewis
and Turk-Grand Affair On
Saturday Evening.

"Our beloved friends are at ii again"
said Evangelist McComb at the Joyful
News Mission last evening. Il don't
need to tell you that 1 am referring to
those innocent babes, those smooth
and unsophisticated heavenly twins,
Lewis and Turk" ]. Mccarthy, who
had a little misunderstanding with
Messrs. Turk and Lewis the other day.
was sitting in the front row with
hymn book in his hand and an o-be-
joyful look upon his countenance.
While McComb used up all the adjec-
tives in the dictionary excoriating Nc
Carthy's fellow shipping masters, that
worthy sat unmoved in all his six feet
three inches of innocence and purity.
| Upon his face he bears the touching
marks of Lewis sympathy and Turks
fellow feeling; in his heart he carries
the hope that this time the heavenly
twins will be "cinched." If Turk and
Lewis could have heard all the pretty,
complimentary things McComb said
about them they would be surprised at
their own wickedness as word-painted
by the evangelist.
They must get out OF town or so on
the reef" cried the preacher, stamping
both feet and shifting his left hand on
his right.
THE reef it isl" shouted a sailor who
only arrived in town yesterday, and
doesn't know the reef from Kakaako.
You ought to have seen Lewis run
when the big Irishman got after him,
went on McComb. Lewis hasn't any
sand. Turk has grit. l admire Turk S
grit. Hear what the prophet Micah
had to say about bad men-Micah was
on to his job. What is this beautiful
city coming to? We can't pick up the
paper any morning without reading OF
bloody murders, fights. rows, ARRAYS
and all manner of crime. Is Honolulu
going to the eternal bow -wows?" Here
McCarthy's mascot pug dog started tC
chase the Joyful News cat around the
hall. The evangelist, ignoring the in
terruption, resumed-"The seraphiC
Turk and honey tongued Lewis mus
soon be compelled to sing, I'll Leave
My Happy Home for You They mus
go. We will make them go. And wher
finally we succeed in Kidding the tow
of them We will get the band TO pla.
them off, and there'il be a hot time il
the old town, and we'll all sing Coz
be With Us Till We Meet Again. onl.
we hope never to meet Lewis and Turl
again."
Mccarthy. nursing his face In tn
front pew. smiled deep satisfaction a
hearing his enemies roasted" from tn
pulpit. The many strong remark
passed on Lewis and Turk by McComt
fell upon his ears as welcome as coo
water to the parched tongue. He dram
lin McComb's eloquence even as the hui
of the Dunreggan takes in the sal
water of the sea.
McCOmb wanted to know where Lew
is and Turk got their pull and VIII
lit was that the authorities didn't "ge
after them" He went through a dunn
Exhibition with his hands and then eS
planned the meaning of the term "ac
lceptng hand intimating that pull
was sometimes based on the Quietin
influence Of cold cash. I'm not sayin
a word against the courts. or anybod
in Honolulu in authority" he explaine,
Tn just illustrating what is some
times done"
Were McCombs words reported at
distance just outside the reach of a
ordinary tone of voice, so that only ii
words shouted could be heard, the n
port would read somewhat, in brief, 6
follows: Infamous scoundrels-a pu
mysterious pull-echo answers
where. Trading in the blood of the
fellow men-can't bully neon the re-
!. desperate cutthroats. Outraged pul
= lie sentiment-unsophist sailor
y, down with the crimps. I'm not afraid
depend upon me. Keep clear of Il
grog shops-be better men-help me
2 this righteous cause-read your Bible
. blood money-believe and be saw.
from your sins-down with the crim1
" let us pray"
On Saturday at o'clock in the evel
ing grand social and musical ente
tainment Is 10 be given at the Joyf
=, News Mission. The Hawaiian Quintet
II Club will be there and TIE Symphol
Glee Club will be on hand. Vocal al
!. instrumental music will delight
comers; the hall will be TANNED: the
Z viii be various interesting and enjoy
:. bic forms OF social entertainment b
sides the music. and a surprise avail
"a everybody al the end of the prograt
This surprise is kept close secret by
y concerned. but IL is whispered that VI
n Comb himself viii execute a Scot
? sword dance in Highland costume. T
y next joyful News meeting takes pla
tomorrow night.