The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-05-30
RICHMOND IS
GROWING BETTER
Remarkably Few Sinners in the Police
Court.
JUSTICE JOHN LECTURES ON LOVE.
&c is Called Upon TO Settle Love
scrape aud Tells About the Old
Days = Robert Edwards, Alias
Billy the Kid, Sent On.

The small amount of common drunken
hess in Richmond Is very remarkable say
k5e police. The Police Court docket yes
keTday contained not a single case, and
ahe record for a week will not cover as
many cases as were contained dn Mon
day docket in 1.-THE old days"
The Great Dispenser says he does not
know about the world getting better. but
declares that there is a marvellous i'm
E,rovcrnent in Richmond.
The Glcat Dispenser came into court
yesterday looking as clean and
unruffied as little Lord Fauntlerov, just
from the hands of his nurse. and the
pompadour roach swept back from ms
noble brow with The evepnsss of a comets
tail
CUPID GONE MAD.
The piece &c resistance was q cross
between a love-Scrape and a love-scrap.
The Great Dispenser declared that IL was
bad enough TO have 10 regulate the
affairs of the family after folks were
married, but TO have his time taken up
and be worried to death settling love
ScrapeS was more than he could stand.
Tho way of it was this: Thomas
johnson was charged with being dfsor-
derly and assaulting w. A. Trainham on
the street The young men live IN that
populous and highIy-respected district
between Monroe Park and the river, and,
In order that there may be amp'e room
to guess who the girl is, more exact
description of the locality is not given.
Mr.. Trainham testified that Mr.. Johnson
called him off when he was walking with
two young ladies. and informed him that
nc had to go down in the bottom and
settle this thing by fighting
Mr.. Trainham declared his distaste to
fighting, and also limited at the cost Of
y, pnty her 90 p
observation Of the Great Dispenser
Johnson then threatened to whip Train
ham the first time he met him with
certain young lady, and Trainham, having
depicted in his mind the discontinue of
such an affair, swore out a warrant
against Johnson, and that's how Justice
John got in the game.
CALLED IT JEALOUSY.
The Great Lawgiver with his tendency
to sift, down to the bottom facts. grew
very inquisit!ve as to the cause Of John
son wanting 10 whip Trainham. All that
Johnson would say was that Tra:nham
made It hard for him. Then it was jealousy
thundered the Great Dispenser. and John
son agreed that it might be SO called for
want of better name
A1r. Trainham declared ne introduced
johnson to the girl and had never done
or said anything that would reflect on
gentleman.
Then the Great Dispenser grew reteC
tive and q softly sentimental wave swept
slowly over his pink-tinted cheeks like
the moon passing across the face of the
sun and proceeded to give Il short dis
sertation on loves-scrapes and how such
things were settled when he was in the
arena. He declared that Mr.. Johnsonis
way was entirely unpariiamcntary IN his
methods. and Sergeant Thomas, who was
deeply interested III the case, spoke up and
said they didn't do ii that way when he
was boy.
The Great Dispenser declared that
fellow should run his own merits, ana
if he was beat by the other fellow in the
race, he must leave it to the lady's judS
1nent and take it as his share. and then
try and run some other fellow off some
where else.
AFTER exactins q promise from Mr.. John
son that the difficulty should so no further
and that he would not speak to Mr.. Train
nam except in Kindness. the Great Dispen-
ser dismissed the case and shook his
head in a thoughtful manner the prin-
CipalS and witnesses filed through the
Swinging gate.
RAISING CAIN
al. Butler was charged with a disturb
ance in the bar-room OF John Griffin and
Thomas Farley was charged with assault
ing Butler. When called on to testify.
Butler plead lapse of memory. The
other witnesses. however, Were unanimous
ns to tie disorder
Butler drank copiously and then want
ed TO whip everything in Hle bar-room.
Nobody was in the same frame OF mind
as himself and he was put out.
He returned, however, ard commenced
breaking UP the bottles and glasses il
the bar and throwing them at the people
inside He threw beer bottle cat Mr..
Farley, and with better IN Mir. Farley
responded with a heavy-hottomed tumbIer
that caught Butler over the eye and ne
cessitated the calling of the ambulance.
Buffers wound was sewed up and the
ambulance started with i'm to the Sec
ond Station. he having in the meantime
been put under arrest. but Butler SpranS
from the vehicle and ran
Then was seen the rare spectacle of an
ambulance chasing a prisoner, and after
going at toTpedo-boat speed for four
blocks, Butler was run down and later
landed at the Second Station. where he
awole IN the morning with a head as big
as the passa ge-way under the Carnival
Arch and a brown chocolate taste in his
mouth
The Great Dispenser thought Mr. Farley
was justified in throwing the glass and
declared that Butler had reaped his own
punishment and dismissed the case.
charged with beating Mary Adams "All
hands cussed.n' was the testimony of the
only eyewitness except the principals,
and all hands were fined SIS each and went
&c the pen, while friends scuttled around
to raise the funds 10 redeem them from
durance vile.
HEAVILY FINED.
Willie alias Henry Simmons. colored.
was charged with riding reckelssly thro'
the streets and knocking down Eddie
Schardt, In Fulton. Eddie was in court
with his head bound up. The witnesses
testified that the negro was going through
the street in sweeping gallon, and tina.
instead of stopping when the boy was
hurt, he put spurs 10 the horse and ran
him at top-speed until out OF sight, He
was fined $40 and. In default. went TO jail.
George Parker. colored. was charged
with oursing and abusing Lucinda Tay-
lor The latter belongs TO the old issue
and courtesied TO the Great Dispenser.
and informed him that. though she was
nearly blind. she was still standing on
the rock.
George when stern;y commanded to
tell why he cursed this old lady" de-
clared he was little drinky. and didn't
know what he had done. Till he had did