The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-07-14
In HOTEL CORRIDORS.

porous another mans business seems"
remarked a fat man who occupied one
of the chairs in front of the Throop last
night, tbut it doesn't always. turn out
as well when man goes into it. I have
q friend living near st. Louis and he
imagined he could become wealthy run
ming a truck farm Truck farming
seems to be about the easiest thing in
the world and theoretically it is all
right My friend could take a piece of
paper and figure out just how he could
make all kinds of money on ten acre
patch. He knew all about the rotation
of crops and had studied the fancy veg
etable market so as to catch it at the
flood tide
He understood chemical fertilizers
and knew how to utilize every inch of
the land. He knew these things theo-
retically you understand, practically he
knew nothing. Well, he bought patch
and worked it for few years and now
he has not a cent and the patch is
gone.
His nefghbors who planted according
to the moon and frogs and other omens
made money, although they were ig-
norant and were truck farmers because
their fathers were truck farmers before
them. The cattle and sheep business
out in this country used to attract ten
derfeet for the same reason. 1t looked
SO easy and I will venture that more
men have thrown up good businesses to
get their heads bumped in the cattle
business than any other one thing. l
one of the fellows who imagined it
was easy
General Funston was a very bashful
man in his younger days" said one of
a group who were chatting in the
Copeland slast night, land it was due
to his bashfulness that one of his love
affairs came to a sudden end. After his
return from Alaska Funston was stop
ping at a boarding house in Lawrence
and was very much taken with the
daughter of the landlady. He paid her
every attention and it had all the ap-
pearance of a match, but the affair
came to a sudden close. 1t was this
way: Funston had purchased a pair of
white duck pants which We're all the
rage at that time among swells, and
one morning he put them on and went
down to breakfast. He was so wrapped
UP in his pretty white trousers that he
did not see the young lady who pos
sessed his affections standing at a win
dow; he saw only the negro waiter.
Jim, who began to grin at the sight of
the trousers. Don't get scared, Jin,'
said Funston, i have got my clothes
on. These are not drawers, they are
pants Just then he caught sight of
the young lady and he turned and
rushed from the room. That day he
packed up and left. The white duck
trousers spoiled the chances for a good
match"
''I know pretty good story on that
eral other politicians, were discussing
men and matters in general and in par
ticular a lawyer who recently received
the nomination for judge in one of the
districts. You know that the judge was
not always a temperate man. In fact
in the days gone by the judge would
frequently take several drops too much
but / don't believe he was ever so
drunk that he was unable to carry on
an excellent conversation or deliver a
splendid extemporaneous speech The
only apparent effect that liquor had on
the judge was to make his gait un-
steady He would walk in semi-circles
and before leaving one semicircle for
the reverse he would lurch like a ship
and pause before taking the next roll
His gait when he had been drinking
reminded me more of a skater cut
ting the dutch roll than anything else
One night down in his home town the
judge had been imbibing little too
freely. / was standing in the doorway
of a store waiting for my friend, the
store keeper, who was almost ready to
close up. I glanced down the street and
saw the Judge coming travelling the
form of a continuous letter s. He took
a tack as he neared the store and came
in. He talked all right and after few
remarks said he would go on home. A
horse had been hitched to a post in
front of the store all evening and as
the Judge swung out of the store the
horse 'nickered' or whinnied. The judge
stopped instantly and looking at the
laugh. you hyena, laugh 1t was the
plainest case of horse laugh 1 ever saw
and I guess the judge thought so too" >"
ST don't believe that this country or
any of the powers is prepared to as
sumo the responsibility of governing
China and for that reason 1 do not be-
lieve in it's dismemberment," said one
of the politicians at the Copeland 1T
is a many-sided question, but when we
think of that vast horde of semi bar
barous mongols and their ability to live
on almost nothing, I tremble for the
fate of any country that attempts to
carry the burden of governing them. A
properly trained Chinaman makes as
is by nature obedient. brave, temper
full initiative ability can be drilled and
put in fighting trim in less time than
the men of any civilized nation. Chi
nese Gordon gave us evidence of what
a Chinaman could do as a soldier when
commanded by intelligent officers and
today they are in much better condi-
In the reports we have had lately they
seem to be putting up a strong fight
with modern guns Imagine all
the populate in arms and think how
long time it would require to subdue
in lives The nations will be better off
either by dividing it or as whole"
New York Uptown Gossip.