Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1900-03-22
WHY GEORGE LEFT HOME
ed Question Beyond Question
or Doubt.

"Maude,'' inquired the young hus-
band, as he entered her room after
hard days work downtown in the
bank, 'Maude, where are my ragged
slippers, which you made for me be-
fore we were married, and have been
too busy since shopping and function
ing to replace?"
''Under the sofa, where Fido was
chewing them to-day"
"Maude, my clothes are all awry in
the closet. Could you not spare time
to arrange them? Maude, while I do
not expect you to ply the needle with
your deft, be-diamonded, ily-white,
taper fingers, my white raiment and
socks might at least be sent to- the
woman who mournfully sings the song
of the Shirt -av.r ...,.aau.
"My dear, try and earn enough to
employ valet
"Maude, your maid has given notice
the third maid in one month. I
allow you a lady's maid. You are SO
delicate. You weigh only 145 now and
see the doctor but three times week."
Darling! could not bear her i'm
hair 4
"Maude, you struck me for $40 yes
| terday, the second Xxx have coughed
up this week-to-day is Wednesday,.
You will certainly develop into a real
Tottie Coughdrop.' . s=-.
"Only the price of two hats, sweet"
"Maude, you have dragnetted me to
the theater eight times in two weeks;
total cost, $2S.75. On all of the re-
naming nights we have gone some
| where, where the dollars and I sang
a sad refrain as we parted"
Darling, would have more use for
$4,000 a year than your poor little
$4,000 salary
"Maude, has your new woman, rea-
soning brain been impressed that on at
least one night in the week I'd like to
stay home, smoke, read, lounge around
and kick the dog? Social functions
are tiresome bores as a steady racket"
"Stay home night in the height Of
the season? Never!"
''Maude, your extravaganza is not
only running me, but will drive me to
drink and to chess and checkers.
Maude, I"
''Oh, George, please have them raise
your salary! Then you will not make
such tiresome remarks.''
'Maude, you are not giving me a
fair shake of the glad hand. I try to
do all can for vOl1-''
"What's that? Do you, indeed! Did
you stop at the florists and order my
violets? Did you pay the dressmaker's
bill and buy Fido's new blanket?
| Where is my daily fve-pound box of
| bons bons? And that box of evening
! gloves I expressly requested you to
bring tonight? Even my magazines
are forgotten!
''Of course, George, you did not pay
the carriage bill, and we must go in
a cab to Mrs. Whitecat's reception
hand me my curling iron! You are
| forever complaining of my extrava-
gance, yet confessed last night to
| spending so cents at one time for CT
CARS! You know that I have only
five evening gowns, seven street gowns,
eighteen hats and three-give me the
buttonhook-dozen pairs of gloves.
You objected to a new pair of shoes.
saying that had eleven pairs by actual
count. ..
George, when I told you I wanted
another street gown you swore-yes,
you did! And your dress suit but three
seasons old and wanting a new one!
That's right, step on Fido in your
brutal rage! Come here, poor, dear,
little Fido. What do you think mar
ried you for? You don't know and
don't give a-what? Why do you kick
the sofa pillows? Oh, because your
legs don't hinge backward and you
can't kick yourself? Yes! strike me-
stand back! Oh, yes, you were,
George! You were going to strike me!
You are gentleman, are you, and you
would not lambast your wife even if
she did need the spirited application
of stuffed club! Oh! George. Just
wanted your hat? Here it is, and
This is why George left home
Washington Star. .