New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1900-04-25

"REMINISCENCES OF CLERGYMEN AND
PENSIONERS
From The London Morning Post.

From The London Morning Post.
The late Bishop of Wakefield was remarka-
deep earnest piety. unfailing cheerfulness and
strong sense of humor. and possessing to a
marked degree the rare gift of gaining the love
and esteem of his flock. He loved to hear a
good story and throughout his life made it
practice to enter the most amusing incidents
and anecdotes of his experience in a notebook.
Inc bulk Of the anecdotes relate to persons con-
nected with the Church. whether bishops, Wears.
curates or humble vergers, but they are none
the less amusing on that account. Many of
them centre round Wilmington the Shropshire
PARISH of which the Bishop rector from
1901 to 1879, and of his parishioners he has
several quaint stories. For instance:
The following words given verbatim as
spoken by an old woman in the parish the
occasion of my first visit soon after l became
rector: The old man and me never go to bed.
sir, without singing the evening hymn. Not
that I've got any voice left, for 1 haven't; and
as for him he's like a bee in bottle; and
then he don't humor the tune. for he don't
rightly know one tune from another, and he
cant cant remember the words neither; so when he
leaves out word puts it in. and when 1 can't
sing dances. and so get through it some
Here is another good story:
a woman in a small Welsh farmhouse
Wilmington is on the border of Wales-being
taken very i'll. a nefghbor went for the clergy
man. who said he would come directly. The
neighbor going back to the farmhouse said
they had better get out Bible, the parson
might ask for one The farmer thereupon told
the woman she would find one, he thought. at
the bottom of an old chest, for, thank good
ness, he added, we have had no occasion for
them sort Of books for many a long year
never since the old COW so bad"
But his curates and clerical friends are re-
sponsible for even more droll stories than the
laity provided during his rectorship one of
which deserves quoting:
The first time that Archdeacon Wickham Wis
TIED this deanery as archdeacon I drove him to
a parsonage, where the incumbent insisted upon
his inspecting everything. In the garden is a
little pool. and over this pond we beheld
strange erection of posts and panks with a
sort of saddlelike seat on the top On the Arch
deacon asking the incumbent what il was he
explained with great delight that il was cant
tai continuance by which you could take exer-
else and make yourself useful by pumping water
10 the church. where he had just been building
transept. So, saying that he would show us
he cIambered up, sat down on a saddle smiling
and began to work the treadles eagerly I'm
fortunately, however, the work at the church
having been just finished. the pipe which had
conveyed the water TO the Workmen had been
cut off just above the surface of the water
the consequence was that he Immediately pro-
duced jet OF water which shot straight up
ward and almost lifted him off his seat entire
~ upsetting the archdiaconal gravity AS we
returned to the house the incumbent begged
the Archdeacon to go into the back yard and
smell the pump, which, he said, stunk horribly
The Archdeacon protested that he had no au-
thorfty over pumps, but he would take no de-
NAL, and when he got into the back ward he
said: Now, Mr. Archdeacon, if you will put
your nose to the spout, I will pump The
occasion, and said: No, l depute the Rural
Dean to put his nose to the spout and l will re-
CeINe MS report ana, II needed pronounce an
ecclesiastical censure.'"
A Yorkshire clergyman, are told had to
pay dearly for his good nature in taking an
incumbents place short notice and preach
ing a borrowed sermon:
"A shy nervous clergyman near Bradford was
about to help a friend by reading the prayers
when message came to say that a neighbor-
ing incumbent was taken i'll and to ask for help
The rector could not go so the friend had to be
sent, but having sermon with him. he Dor
roWed one from the rector, who wrote a clear
good hand. He selected one well written of
which the subject was The Value of Time
and meant to read ii over on the way but
eventually did not like to do So as he sat beside
servant who drove him over. So it happened
that he had to read il for the first time in the
pulpit. He got on very we'll till he came to
sentence saying that, the parish possessed
no church clock, it was his intention to present
one. He was too nervous to omit the sentence
and l was assured at Bradford did actually
present the promised clock, which cost 80"
Here are other Yorkshire stories in which the
comic is mixed with the pathetic:
"A Yorkshire clergyman the other day visiting
poor man who had just lost his little bow en-
deavored to console him. The poor man burst
into tears, and in the midst Of his sobs ex-
claimed: If 'twarna ag'in t'law A should ha
liked to have tlittle beggar stoOfed'
A clergyman visiting dying man observed
him putting his hand out of the bed and eat
ing something from time to time, so he said he
glad to see he could eat a little when the
man, with funny look. said: They're nv
funeral biscuits. The missis went TO the town
and bought them, and she's out to-day, and I'm
eating them