davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

dom. AS a considerable portion Of the
community regards him as a Sir Oracle
the Chicago Tribune says it is glad to
note that in recent Sunday address he,
devoted himself to the folly OF early
rising. The old adage,
Early to bed and early to rise
Makes man healthy, wealthy and wise,
is not only illogical and unwise, but has
been the source of many of the Ills to
which flesh is heir to. A man should
go to bed when he is sleepy and not
before. He should get up when he ls
obliged to and not before. No specified
time can be set for any one. Circum-
stances must govern cases. When
person wakes up for good and can no
longer sleep is the natural time to get
up. If he wakes up and finds himself
irresistibly inclined to turn over and
take another nap he is doing violence to
nature If he does not yield to the desire,
provided all other things are equal. The
early rising habit is an old superstition
beginning of the new century, at mid
night Dec. 81, 1900, If not sooner. It
has never made a man healthier, wealth
Ter or wiser. There is another senseless
adage that the early bird catches the
worm. But If the worm had not been
out early he would not have been
caught.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08
a Darky's DeIusIOh'

A story is told about an olu ''r 20,
colored man who came 10 d il
maker with the two HANDS VI n
81 want yer to fix up desc ianu, U.s.
amt kept no correct time l0f
six munfs." .,oopi
"Well, where is the clock '''r
the matchmaker.
"Out at my house. -,
"But | must have the clocA' !, ii
"Didn' I tell yer dar's nufnn ~ =,
ter wild de clock 'ceptlng ue iia !. ia
here dey be. You jest Wans ss ",
so you kin tinker wild 1t anu e bspa
a big price. Gimme back a It u apjI
And so saying he started OIL
honest matchmaker.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08
FUNNY OLD RAN ~
Cars Drawn by Locomo.,

Cars Drawn by Locou.
Could Not Turn Roun s'
According to Or. W W u
Williston, S. c., the first rsil, sah
United States was the Sont ,Va y
Railroad, afterward called th IN o y
ton and Augusta Railroad NJ s 70
from Charleston to Augusta !, a n.y.
Of 14O miles. The road w., ~ u's
1926 and completed in 1Sss S w
Augusta Herald. @A
Some Of the queer things n,,,
tinguished it from the roads au
were:
The first motive power ussa
road was wind, utilized in sails ",
cloth on the cars.
The locomotives had two
stacks, one at each end, IN ~, III
Charleston one of the stacks v Y,4 !
and in coming back the other
There were no spark arrasto,
everybody along the route had IA :
his property to prevent its beln,h w.
up.
One hundred miles day va, 1
travelling in those days.
When night came on all hands s..
camp and waited for daylight ia 4
in order to proceed.
The track was composed of fin |
thirty-foot stringers, on which b,,I
iron like a common tire was aia \
nailed down to the wood
A track walker went ahead n
engine every day to knock dow,
"snake-heads" or nail heads TO nn,,
accidents. The dread of the eps.
was the ''snake-heads" or nails Unr
Ing ABOVE the IRON rail-, Tor they Nj
prolific sources Of accidents. THAI
ductors collected the fares from
outside, walking on boards abOut
the open street cars are now araD,
There were no convenience on
cars as in this day and time Thc
stopped at stated intervals for Thea
venience of the passengers.
The mail facilities We're measg
very primitive. A split stick served
a mail bag, as letters were put in sl
and handed up to the conductor
were thrown out the same way.
The coupling links were made
wood, so that when car ran oi
would break and save the Others fl
running off.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

It has been said that much Of the
mortal coil is due not so much to tangi-
BILE woes as to that intangible state
called ennui. There is no apt English
equivalent for this French word, and
that state Of mind called the blues is
much too active a condition to express
the apathetic torpor whose tone Is a
prevailing gray. John Stuart Mill, in
his remarkable Autobiography" con-
fesses to having been subject to such
attacks when the fountains Of vanity
and ambition were dried up and when
neither selfish nor unselfsh pleasures
were pleasures" Coleridge, says Mill,
best expressed this condition in the
lines in the lode to Detection"
A grief without pang, void, dark and
dear,
A drowsy, stifed, unimpassioned grief,
Which finds no natural outlet or relief
In word, or sigh, or tear.
The philosopher believed that with
him such a mental state was due to
premature habit of self-analysis, and
no doubt analysis does tend to destroy
feeling and capacity for enjoyment. A
modern poet, Stephen Phillips, utters
the same cry and protest:
My senses all like weapons rustS
And lie disused in endless dust.
may not love, 1 may not hate;
Slowly I feel my life abate.
Many people have confessed to hay
ing endured these visitations of the en-
nui microbes on Sunday afternoon
when, either because of unwonted
feasting or lack of mental stimulus,
they become mere clods. After all,
both the blue and the gray states are
but mother natures way Of getting
even with the nerve-exhausted individ-
ual who has taxed her too heavily. The
best remedy lies in physical activity
and effort, though effort at such times
is difficult to command. Yet, as Mat
thew Arnold says:
Tasks in hours Of insight WILD
Can be through hours of gloom fulfill d.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08
The Military SALUTE

The war has brought Tue D nooay
tary salutation into still nloi .b = n
ity. Even ladies conslael an1sr b
much more reverent ana pop an liftt
the old custom of the gen'iel mani
their hats to the women a." .,,rniusS y
the "sex divine" are now ,,u',.otiop
giving the half military sa u, bows
stead of the old-time lorna start,
is a little awkward at 'n' e the ~
the half military salutatlon u.ns friDq
graceful manner of gree.n' dIgpb8
and besides it is much more n 0sss,s "'sp
than old-time blowing anu
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

child's play beside it. In the Santiago
campaign there were 1900 American
soldiers engaged. During the three
days fighting the American loss in
killed was only 22S, or less than 2 per
cent of the total, while the total Of
killed, wounded and missing is not more
than 10 per cent. in all. In all the re-
cent English wars the experience has
been that 10 per cent will cover the
killed and wounded in action, as we'll
as those who are taken to the hospital
on account Of sickness. Even at Gettys-
burg, in which tremendous battle about
100000 troops were engaged, the total
percentage Of loss on both sides, includ-
ing killed, wounded and missing, was
not greater than that at Bucaramanga,
while the number Of killed on the Fed
eral side was less than per cent. Of
the forces commanded by Gen. Meade.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

Fantastic Formations that Resemble
Frozen Oyster Patties.
The ice foes of the Missouri River are
probably the prettiest and most extraor-
binary that float upon an American
river.
Over upon the Mississippi, above its
confluence with the Missouri, the ice
floats in great foes that are ice fields,
some of them with an area of ten, TWEEN
ty, thirty and forty acres. frequently
they become so large that there is no
room for them to pass between the bars
and bikes, and the river becomes block
ed until warmer weather rots and dis
lodges the gorge. An ice foe in the Mis-
sissippi, so long as it floats and the
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08
4 eLooDY BATTLE.
niict at Bucaramanga MOST Dee
nerate i'm Recent Years.

Conflict at Bucaramanga MOST De
perate in Recent Years.
It has been the custom to laugh at g. the
froouent revolutions in Central America
az comic opera controversies. with ut
tie danger of loss or serious casualtles
nm either side. II the reports OF the re-
cent battle between rival factions IN
colombia are to be depended upon, now
over the popular opinion must be re-
yised, and the battle fought at bucara-
manga will go down into history as one
Of the bloodiest and most desperate
battles of recent years. Out OF lo,OoO
men engaged on both sides 1000, or IL
per cent. of the total, were killed out
right. while 5000 or 80 per cent, were
either killed or wounded. The battles
of the Spanish-American war were
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08
CLEANLINESS WITHOUT SOAP.
That the Beers Don't Use 1t Doesn't
Prove They're Dirty.


Prove They're Dirty.
Surely too much Importance is at
tached to the scarcity of soap in the
Beers farmhouses, says the London
Truth. People may be very clean and
use very little soap. The Russians and
Japanese cleanse themselves with vapor
baths, rarely using soap when they do
so. A healthy skin cleanses itself
Rough inside clothing, which, 1 pre-
sumo, the Beers wear, is a great skin
cleanser. have known of doctors cur
ing skin diseases by insisting on lin
gerie de luxe being cast aside and
coarse undergarments worn instead.
The late emperor Of the French hard
~ ever soaped his hands until he went
to England. | have come across paper
found in his desk at the Tuileries. 1t
contained the instructions Of the King
Of Holland to the governor Of his two
elder boys. Among the things forbid
den was for the young princes hands to
be washed with soap. They were to
use bran and a slice Of lemon. The
lemon was to remove ink stains, and in
summer to keep off gnats and mosqui-
toes. Napoleon, whose hands were good
to model and beautifully white, also
used bran and no soap, unless to shave.
| never use soap Of any kind without
sense of skin discomfort which not
even deluge of quite pure water will
wholly remove.
In England, on account of coal smoke
and smut, soap is more needed than in
countries with clear air. The Beers
enjoy, perhaps, the purest atmosphere
in the world, except when there are
dust storms. know French ladies who
have discarded soap for vaseline. They
smear themselves with the latter and
then rub it off well with soft cotton
towel. A doctor tells me that nothing
is more cleansing, but that he prefers.
as more tonic, plain cold water, fol-
lowed by the same sort Of rubbing.
DR.. Leyds really should not take to
heart what Sir Henry Stanley said
about the Beers being badly off for
soap.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

No one doubts the courage Of Gen
eral Braddock, and no one questions his
singular indisposition to profit by the
common sense of the Provincials in
fighting Indians. His name has been
more on human lips in the past few
weeks than in years before, and for a
reason not complimentary to the Brit
ish officers In the Boer war. Bravery
and brute force are not enough to de-
feat sagacious foe full of resources.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

The United States Treasury has a
curious account upon it's books. This
Is known as the Conscience Fund"
The sums entered to it's credit are re-
pentance-money received from persons
who at some time or other have de-
frauded the government, and whose
consciences have compelled them to re-
store their dishonest gains. No ques-
tons are asked when a penitent de-
clares his sin in this practical way
Some penitents return the amounts I'M
lawfully taken, and leave them to tell
their own story; but oftener letters Of
confession accompany the money.
These are kept on file. A letter from
clergyman, who signed his name and
inclosed four dollars and a fraction,
stated that the money was owed the
government as duty and accrued inter
est on several cheap watches smuggled
into this country number of years
ago by a man who confessed his wrong
to him. "The man who pays this
money" writes the clergyman in sub
stance, entered upon a religious life
few weeks ago. This act attests the
commences Of his purpose to live in
obedience to both human and Divine.
law" Another letter from an old vet
eran reads: "Sir: Please find my thir-
ty dollars, to be placed to the credit Of
the Conscience Fund, from the awaken
ed conscience Of an old veteran, who
has been laying aside a little at time
for some time, and who has not been
able to figure yet just what it is, but
who hopes to light on the data yet, and
restore it before he is called to meet his
God" The simplest fact in an upright
character is it's acute sense Of right and
wrong, and the honesty that pays Sc
cret as well as open debts.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

Casuistry worthy OF the schoolmen
develops at Washington in a recent in
vestigation. ga lie," declares one wit
ness, lis when you state falsehood
to a man who has a right to know the
truth; if he has no right to the truth it
is not lie." A distinction indeed, and
one not unworthy of Kaunitz, who, be-
ing asked to defend lying in diplomacy,
replied: "There is no such thing as
lying in diplom macy. A lie Undecided
is not lie. The man caught in false
hood is not a diplomat" 1t will be OBJ
served that there is some resemblance
between the two ideas Of diplomacy.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

mixer That was a bola Nv, ~ right :
terday. Fellow took d p,a ',ilr vas =
Of the house while the fanny
ing dinner. -, That's W,
Photographer-~Huinpa ourthorse \ !,
ing. I took the ne" .no nose Of Vi
other day right under the 1e, lea
Observation-Disclosures AiD
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08
Possible Extension or Ara,.+;on

Old Gotrocks (savagely)-W What's
that! You mean to tell me that you
really love my daughter for herself
alone?
Young Hardup TREMENDOUSLY -es,
sir; but think 1 could learn to l-loye
you t-too, sir-in t-t-time, sir-vanity
Fair.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08
Transferring Disease

Zootheraphy consists in transferring
disease from man to some animal, and
as the converse of the medical theory
that animals convey disease to man.
Ihls system of curing Ills was devised
py Ferapi, Florentine. He mentions
the case Of man suffering from rheu
matism who made his dog lie across his
Ded The man recovered and the dog
died
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

The latest thing in healers announces
that he can raise the dead if they have
not been dead too long," And once
more a skeptical public will inquire at
what point the line must be drawn that
refuses the spiritual power over the
material.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

Baled hay for the Philippine Islands
and for South Africa is now being put
up in the United States in new way.
Extra pressure is applied and 100 cubic
feet Of hay are compressed into fifty
cubic feet. An army mule that takes
an overdose Of this hay will be more
dangerous than a lyddite shell, and
runs great risks Of blowing out his cyl
inder head
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08
A standard Measurement.

There's no doubt about it, said the
man with large diamond in his neck
tie; shat man is genuine patriot"
How do you know"
"Why, he can get up as much enthu-
siasm over n election as he does over
a prize fight. Washington Star.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

A French court has declared man to
be mad because he wrote poetry. Pos-
sibly the judge has himself tired to
make living that way.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

It is fortunate that in the dispute
about when the twentieth century be-
gins there can be only two opinions.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

Some philosophers claim character is
shown by taste in color. This is no
doubt true of the dark-brown taste IN
the mouth the following morning.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

Prison statistics show that thirteen
out of every thousand people in the
United States are in Jail; which certain
~ shows that thirteen is an unlucky
number
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

Russell Sage says young men should
not hesitate to marry rich girls. They
don't. It is the maidens with money
who are coy.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08
no CoRKEsroNDENTs.

An eemwunicasaons fer this paper should b asesaA
psaisd by the name e9 The szthor: mot necessarily foa
prbcation but a. IN evidence Of good faith the DaE
Of tho writer Write saly On side Of the papsr. d
,sxticulaxly sarsfs IN giving and datss 70 have
tina lsttsrv and figures plain and distinct
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

It would have been indeed the sar-
casm of destiny if Gen. Greedy, after
surviving all the perils of his Arctic
explorations, had died as the result of
the brutal assault ON him by an express
man on a spree.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08
The Point of View.

He-Hasn't Miss Hauton a Roman
nose?
sne-l think retrousse is a better
term for it-she turns it up on the
silghtest proyocation. New York Even
Ing World.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

1t is well to keep out Of business
when there are millions in it-too much
competition, don't you see?
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

The new light weight champion pugil-
list doesn't drink, chew nor swear. Now
If he would quit fighting he might turn
out to be quite a man.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

A Michigan doctor has fallen heir to
title and $5,0OO,OOO. It will probably
be useless now to try to get him out on
q night CALL
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

In only one particular are all women
the world over, alike; they all like
chocolates.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08
Market for Dogs.

IN Manchuria dogs are raised for
lner skins, which fetch very sigh
price in the market
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

Why not make every microbe wear a
fender and carry headlight?
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

IT'S hard to follow the bent Of a mans
mind when he 10 in financial straits
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

The Rev. 7. Dewitt Talmage now
and then in his discourses hits upon
practical topic and utters sound wis
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08
QUAINT vi" +hp

At Christmas parties III reprsssp' X
tury Twelfth Night ca ,,or and otDe n
ministers, maids OIL Hull .o dealt oae N
tendants of a court were sustained n
the characters had u ~
midnight. ID
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

Germans Commercial Drumma
Germany has about 10000 CONNER.
cial travellers on the road 300 DAYS o.
the year.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

The man who says, II don't pretend
cannot be"-as lawyer was recently
reported as saying-does injustice both
to himself and his fellows. He is doubt
less himself honest in his declaration
concerning himself, if in nothing else
But to say that no lawyer can be hon
est is to malign noble profession
whose surest basis of success is hon
esty, and to say no man is honest Is
libel upon the human race. If men
the majority of men-were not honest,
the world would not and could not be
growing better, as it is to-day. There
Is much hypocrisy, pretending to be
better than it is. There is probably
more cynicism, pretending that the
world is worse than it is. There is,
most Of all, simple truth and honesty.
Americans are fond of authorizations.
tersely, and that desire often results in
uncouth or inaccurate forms. It is per-
haps allowable to write 'buss for omni-
bus, but it is absurd and meaningless
to write 100 for 1900. One zero means
nothing and two zeros fail to mean
more than nothing. If merchant
should advertise that he had changed
the price of a special make of over
coats. for example, from $3.50 to 90,
would he be greatly gratified at the re-
suits? Doubtless the two zeros would
in this case convey some sort of an
idea, but it assuredly would not be the
idea the merchant had in mind. Per-
haps young lady who had just passed
out of her 10Th year might glow over
the notion that she could say she had
entered her % year, but mature reflec-
ton would finally convince her that
she had proved too much. On the
whole, it would seem to be good sense
for people to write the 1900 in full, and
for college graduates Of this year not
to put themselves down as nonentities
of the class Of 90.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1900-02-08

One of the unfort''lla', men 10 X X
is that it is so cas-! tors Of pr,
love with the dargh'ei'
men.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-08-10
PRACTICED WITH REVOLVER.
How Bresci Prepared TOT inc
nation Of the king-o'"e'
Arrests Made,

Rome. Aug. THE brother and
brotber-in-law of Bresci, the assassin
OF King Humbert of Italy, have been
detained by the police on the charge
that they had foreknowledge OF the
murderer's intention. The former
saws Brcsci frequently practiced with
a revolver.
New York. Aug. 7.-Anent the arrest
in Rome of Marie Cazze in connection
with the plot to kill King Humpert
and an alleged confession from her'
il is now stated that she is propaOiy
the same girl who was known IN
Paterson. y. j., as Emma Quazzi, ana
who lived for a long time in Paterson
Her father still lives there, and says
that undoubtedly the girl mentioned
in the cablegram is his pretty daugh'
ter. Emma. The father denies tha'
she is socialist. and says that the only
manor she read was II Marimento, moi
an anarchistic paper =.
She planned for months her trip t'
Europe. but her father insists her ohi1
purpose in going was 10 see her no'h
or and brothers in Italy QuazN say
he i sure il was mere coincidence
that brought the girl and Bresci 10
gether on the steamer on the wa
across the Atlantic.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-08-10
BOERS DERAIL TRAIN.
United states Consul was o" """
and American Flag F1oated ir""
Cars-No Prisoners Takeh'

Bloemfontein, Aug. Ga train on
hoard of which was United states
Consul Stowe, and over which was NY
ing the stars and stripes, has been
derailed and burned at Honigsprult,
south of Kroonstad, by flying patrol
Of Beers. No prisoners were taken
London, Aug Ga special from
Pretoria. dated Saturday, says;
"Gen. Christian De Wet Is completely
surrounded near Reitzberg. and II Is I'M
possible for his forces TO escape throus' Il
the strong British Gordon.
..The Boers say they will make a stana
,ear Machadodorp They are snort OIL am
munition and food. Gen. Hamilton, ny tno
rapidity OF his movements, prevents 80
Placements reaching Commandant botn '
at appears that after the tram carr , ~ :
United States Consul Stowe. ana nyins 'ne
stars and stripes, was derailed at lions
.pruit. south OF kroonstad' Co'Oe''e0
Boers fired, killing four
London. Aug. IA dispatch say
that the circle around Gems. De we
and Steyn is being narrowed grad
ually by the British under Lord Kitten
! suer.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-08-10
Dispute settled.

Springfield, III, Aug. The Baltl-
more a Ohio Southwestern Railroad
company has accepted the proposition
of the township trustees of Pana town
ship. by which the long controversy
caused by the removal of the railroad
sbops from Pana TO Flora is settled
rho township claimed that under the
grant by which the railroad has righ,
Of way through Pana township it had
forfeited its right of way by removing
shops to Flora. The matter has been
compromised by the railroad company
turning over all the shops and round-
house buildings 10 Pana, which IN turn
Grants right of way through the town
/ shin