Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-04-21

very wroth indeed over the way the world
is going round.
With three tovial companions, screened
off by some palms. is the famous restau-
ratetIr who never eats at his own restau-
rant. The reason why he never eats at his
own restaurant, which is just as famous here
as the Bunker Hill monument is in Boston, is
that he can never get seat at table IN
his own restaurant. The seats are always
filled. At least, SO he says. He says that
he has tried to induce the head waiter of
his restaurant to permit him to sit down
there and eat on many occasions, and has
even offered to bride hinl-but the head
waiter only shakes his head and says that
ali the chairs are spoken for.
A Few other Types.
Enter the son of Memphis brewer, who
owns and trains a stable of thoroughbred
race horses. The young man is fat and
puffy, and overdressed. and you recall the
story to the effect that he never spends
less than $1,000 a day while he is in New
York
Then enter a very much embarrassed
young man, plainly from the country, who
seems very uncertain just what to do with
his hands and feet, followed by his bride.
Oh. anybody can tell that she is his bride.
They both blush furiously when the head
waiter approaches and addresses them, and
they are too much fiabbergasted to indi-
cate to the head waiter where they want
to be seated. So he takes them any old
place.
An extremely thin Frenchman comes in,
with his extremely fat wife and their four
children. all boys. The little chaps are
decked out In Russian moujik fashion,
which is a fad in France since the begin
ming of the entente between France and
Russia. and, while their stout mother re-
CARDS their reaching after things and
other minor table breaks with complaisant
good nature, their thin father chides them
hissingly and with remarkable torrent of
Gallo words.
When the Bottles Pop.
There is slight alteration at the door.
blear-eyed young man. in an extrava-
gantly long frock coat, Is endeavoring to
convince the guardian of the door that he
is entirely in possession of his senses, and
therefore perfectly eligible to seat at the
table he has reserved. The guardian of the
door persists in thinking to the contrary
and he is soon backed up in his opinion by
the house detective. who applies soothing
words to the young man and disappears
with him.
The bottles begin to pop the orchestra
plays sensuously. the talk and the laughter
become more animated-and II Is all very
nice indeed. But where is the quality. and
the sweetness and light: and the SO forth?
The provincial, calculating upon just how
his waiter will regard him If he tips him
only dollar. sums 1t all up this way:
An Illusion Smashed.
Here IS another Illusion smashed I
came here because 1t has been hammered
into me that this is the real thing Per-
haps it is. I am Undetermined, and when
New Yorker tells me thing. why, I've
got to believe it. But 1 don't know. If you
can't find the real thing IN little old Wash
ington. for all the alleged quietude and
somno'ence that these New Workers claim
are its chief characteristics then I don't
know the real thing when I perceive it
with the aid of Lick telescope
II all illusions are not made to he shat
tered, then the New York ones are manu-
featured for that purpose anyhow.
C. L. c.