davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1900-01-27

WANTED-sEvERAI. BRIGHT AND HONEST
persons to represent us as managers in this
and close by counties. Salary 5000 year
and expenses. Straight, bona hte NO more
less salary. Position permanent. Our
references, any bank in any town. Il is main-
-ly Office work conducted at home. Reference.
Enclose self addressed stamped envelops.
Chicago. Sept. 13--96s>
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1900-01-27

Jno Weber, 4 white farmer, living
in the western part Of the parish,
was brought to town this W, elk and
placed in Jail on account of insan-
ity. Weber has wife and several
children.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1900-01-27

Mr.. Jno. E. Fletcher, Of Hum
bert, Tenn and Miss Isaure
Mcdaniel, of this town, were mar
ried last Sunday by Rev. G. G.
Weir, Of the Methodist church.
Mr.. and Mrs. Fletcher left on the
afternoon for their future home in
Tennessee.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1900-01-27

Mr.. E. F. Willard, of the 1be-
rian, was in Lafayette yesterday
afternoon and called at this Office.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1900-01-27

Avmar Chlasson, a higly res
pec,ed and industrious young farmer
Of the first ward, died last Saturday
of typhoid fever. He leaves wife
and three children.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1900-01-27

Assessor A. M. Martin and Sheriff
Broussard went to New Orleans to
attend the meeting of the State
Central Committee.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1900-01-27

B. H. Shannon who will open the
rivoli Saloon near the depot invites
everybody to call to-day and SAM
pie his goods.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1900-01-27

There will be services at the
Presbyterian church tomorrow
(Sunday) at II o'clock a. m.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1900-01-27

Mrs T. d. Weir left this week
for Houston to visit relatives.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1900-01-27

Hot chocolate with whipped
cream at the Moss Pharmacy.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1900-01-27

Curtains poles, window shades
wall payer, at Mess 81 Cos.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1900-01-27

Hot chocolate soda, rich and
creamy. Moss Pharmacy.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1900-01-27

AS is we'll known the site for the
school was given bv Mrs NJ. \.
Girard and Mr.. Crow Girard.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20
THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.
Political Sanction of What All
Agreed to Be IA Good Thing

Political Sanction of What All
Agreed to Be Good Thing.
One of the latest writings of the late
Charles Dudley Warner was an essay
for The Century, entitled The Pursuit
of Happiness"
Perhaps the most curious and inter
esting phrase ever put into a public
document is the pursuit of happiness
1t is declared to be an inalienable
right. 1t cannot be sold. 1t cannot be
given away 1t is doubtful if it could
be left by will
The right of every man to be 6 feet
high and of every woman to be feet
was regarded as self evident until wo-
men asserted their undOubted right to
be 6 feet high also. when some confu-
sion was introduced into this interpre-
taton Of this rhetorical fragment Of
the eighteenth century.
But the inalienable right to the pur-
suit of happiness has never been ques-
toned since it was proclaimed as a
new gospel for the new world. The
American people accepted it with en-.
thusiasm. as if it had been the diScov-
cry of a gold prospector. and started
out in the pursuit as if the devil were
after them.
Ii the proclamation had been that
happiness is a common right of the
race, alienable or otherwise; that all
men are or may be happy, history and
tradition might have interfered to raise
n doubt whether even the new form of
government could so change the ethical
condition. But the right to make
pursuit of happiness given in a funda-
mental bill of rights had quite differ
cnt aspect. Men had been engaged in
many pursuits, most of them disas-
trous, some of them highly commenda-
bic. a sect in Gallee had set up the
pursuit Of righteousness as the only or
the highest object of mans immortal
powers The rewards of it. however.
We're not always immediate Here was
a political sanction Of a pursuit that
everybody acknowledged to be of
good thing.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20

made speeches and pledged them
selves. AMI Deacon Spooner tapped en-
the floor with his cane and said he
thanked heaven he had lived to see
that night. The enthusiasm was still
bilin whom Lish Billings strolled III
and looked around in an inqulrin way.
The deacon explained what was pp
and asked him If he hadn't sunthin to
say.
WAL, not great DEAL raplf d
Iish. I'D like to ask who's to git up
this revival"
Wen send for some great preach
err" answers .Abijah Holden.
who's to pay him? Preachers amt
reviyalin around for nuthin, though
they like to DO good
Everybody looked at everybody. but
no one had any more to say.
"And when we got the revival start
ed" continued Lish, .'there'd have to
be a lot of ownin up to things and ask
in forgiveness. Who's goin to own up
to gittin drunk on hard cider, to iawin
his wife. to lickin his children. 10 pi-
zenin dogs. to cripplin hogs. to stealth
fence rails to hundred other mean
things? Take yer time about it and
don't all speak at once, but femme
have the information
Deacon Spooner opened his mouth
as if to say that Lish had made
strong pint. but closed 1t again and
heaved sigh and went out. Other
signs was heaved and other folks went
out, and in three minits Lish Billings
had all the cracker and sugar bar'ls
to hisself and was wonderin what had
busted up the meetin. VI. QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20
sneeze without winking.

Bobby came home one day covered
with dirt and bruises and trundling a
broken bicycle.
What on earth have you been doing,
my child" exclaimed his terrified
mother
Il ran over 4 big dog and took a
fail" explained Bobby
Couldn't you see him and give him
the road:"
Yes; saw him and was turning out,
hut when | got within about ten feet
of him | shut my eyes. and before l got
en- open again I'd run into him"
For the lands sake, what did you
shft your eyes for
couldn't help il Had to sneeze. If
You think YOU can hold your eyes open
when the sneeze comes. you just try it
some day"
II the reader thinks Bobby's excuse
was not a valid one. let him try it some
day when the sneeze comes. Youth 5
Companion.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20

paused to gaze. II have Travelled over
half the known world, and yet never
before have | set my eyes on such
beauty and pride I wonder if her
owner will part with her for 500 in
gold?"
The Peacock. strutting back and
forth and proud OF the impression
she had made wanted to make a still
greater hit, and therefore she opened
her mouth and attempted a song. At
the first Shrek the Traveller took to
his heels and ran for his life, and, look
ing back after placing himself in safe
ty, he exclaimed:
"A hundred dollars for such
squawker as that. Why, I'd kill her
with a crowbar and stick her tail
feathers in the huclileberry bushes If
she was my property
Moral Few of us lose anything by
modest silence.
THE PEASANT AND TIE SAGE.
One afternoon the Peasant went up
into the mountains to the cave of the
Sage and said:
30 worthy man. want to be taught
wisdom. | do not live happily with
my wife"
And it's her fault. of course" OBJ
served the Sage.
Entirely 50. For instance. she al
ways beats me in argument"
"Then why not beat her with
stickT'
Because she can also beat me ut
that game. She insists on ruling the
house"
''IIave you threatened to leave?"
81 have. but she would be glad to
have me 90"
''Ycu have tried argumentY'
"A thousand times over. but she can
talk five words to my one"
"IIow about silenceY asked the
Sage after thinking awhile"
IF | am silent, then she does all the
talking. Tell me- 0 Sage. what must
do
There are wives and wives, O Peas
ant. Some are full of humility and
some are determined 60 boss the roost.
The man who hath humble wife is
in luck and may rejoice. The man
who hath the other kind must make up
his mind that he isn't II and find hap
pness in being boSscd."
Moral. An evil endured becomes half
a blessing. NJ QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20
4 lost Lessen.

The teacher waS trying to communi-
cate 10 the Juvenile class an idea az
faith, and. to better Illustrate it, She
held UP I'M apple and said
If | Mere to tell you there were no
seeds in this apple. you would believe
me without further proof would you
not"
Yes. ma'am," answered the class in
chorus.
We'll, that is faith" said the teach
err
The next day. in order to test their
recollection Of the lesson. she asked:
'Who can tell me what faith iS:''
Il can promptly answered a small
urchiu. Its an apple what amt got
no seeds int Chicago News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20
4 Splrndi,, TtIc

I've got i splendid utic for my lat
est story of crime aud mystery
What IS ii
Lost In a New York Department;
StorP. Cleveland HLtn Dealer
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20
TOO Much Statistics.

My friend. he began a~ hc sat down
beside a tramp on bench in the
park II want Is collect some statistics
about the labor movement Tor in
stance
Good day. sir" interrupted the
tramp rs he rose W 10 make OFF.
"IIut what's the natter
You've cot a ton of coal to he car
ried up four flights Of stairs. ana YOU
Want me to do il for 10 cents ana wait
80 days for my pay. Not on your life"
Washington Post
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20
Startling Expose.

Sister Snowball-'Deed Sistah Dahk-
leigh. did yo' all notice how Pahson
Pinfeatheh's bal haid shine dis mawn-
in: Honey. tell yo' dat saint sho'ly
shine wifi invalid grace.
Sister Darkleigh Invalid grace. nuff-
in. PahSou Pinfeatheh done been
boa'dn at nah house. on nah boy
Wash'm'ton Jeff'Son done see him pol
iSh dat bal haid wifi diShyer tan shoe
dressin-Ba American
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20
A Careful sneaker

What did you expect 70 prove by
that exceedingly long winded argument
of yours :" asked the friend
= didn't expect 70 prove anything"
answered The orator An | hoped 70
do was to confuse the other fellow 50
that he couldn't prove that didn't
prove anything Answers
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20
IDcopteStaBle.

Mary positive Fred loves me
and intends Il make me his wife.
Helen Why: Has he proposed vet
Mary No. bUt he di>i.ke> mother
more every time he sees Acr.-.IuSend.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20

\ man Is a fool TO be jealous Of n
good woman. and he is a t,el Il be
jealous II worthless one. Now Ira y
yeUr own conclusions Chicago News
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20
copyright, 1900, BY c. B. Lewis

ltopyTght, IJJJ ~ - D. LeNls.l
It was Abijah Holden who first got
the idea, and he sprung it on the post
office crowd one Saturday night in the
most unexpected manner. He'd bin
kcepin powerful quiet fur a week or
two. like man who's left his jack
knife stickin in the barn door and is
tryin TO remember the fact, and this
made the surprise all the greater. The
crowd was most ready to 90 home
when he got up and said:
"Fcllcr Citizens of Jericho-I want
to see this town doomed as much as
any Of you. want to see her git up
and hump herself till Boston or Chica-
20 won't be in 1t. but when it comes to
choosin between size and goodness I'm
fur goodness. 1 think it's better fur
ones soul and body to live in ii small,
good town than in a big. bad town.
I'm willin to go in and help push Ieri-
clio along, as | said, but lets do it on
right lines. Let's start her off on
high moral plane and keep her So
There's pint and mebbe mighty
strong one, In what Bijah says" re-
marked Deacon Spooner as the speak
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20
A SPASM 6FoREFORM.
THE REVIVAL THAT WAS SUGGESTED
FoRsTHE.ToWN OF JERICHO.

About the Enthusiasm with which
Abiiah H0Iden's Idea Was Greeted
and How Lish Billings Doused 1t
with u Wet Blanket.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-12-20

Standing around the streets is noS
the one Sar 81 losing -Atchison
Globe
The Portland daily press., 1900-08-01

The readers of this paper will be pleased to
learn that there is at east one dreaded disease
that science has been ablo to cure in all its
stages and that is Catafrh. HalPs Catalrh
Cure is the only positive cure now known o the
medical fraternity. Catarrh being a constitu-
ronal disease. requires a constitutional treat.
ment Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken intern NV
aciing directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces OF the system. thereby destroying the
foundation OF tho disease, and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitution and
assisting nature in doing its work. The pro-
pretors nave so much faith in its curative pow
ers, that they offer one Hundred Dollars for
any case that It falls to cure. Send for list of
testimonials.
Address, +: j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, 0.
Sold by druggists 75c.
HalPs Family Piils are the best.
The Portland daily press., 1900-08-01

cally certain, if elected, not to give that
enforcement. There never was a clearer
demonstration of a partys insincerity
than this was. OF course they sought to
cover it up, but the disguise was too thin
to deceive the wayfaring man, though
a fool. The idea, they said, of taking
candidate who was the candidate OF some
other party was quite shocking to them,
and they could not think Of it. And yet
every five minutes they were shouting
themselves hoarse for that glorious leader
William j. Bryan, who was born of
Populism, reared by Populists and
came to them with Populist recon-
mendation. The party shat not many
years ago abandoned doctrines it had
existence to fuse with Greenbackers,
could not bear the thought for amoment,
of fusing with Pr0hibitionists to advance
a policy that it laid down only two weeks
ago as close to it's heart. And so they
rejected Mr.. Pearson whose nomination
would not only have attested their SINGER
ity, but given them some chance of vic
tory, and nominated Llewellyn Barton,
who demonstrated in this city year ago
that he could not even command the full
vote of the Democratic party. Has any
body any doubt of the reason why Barton
was preferred to Pearson? Can anybody
doubt that it was because of the fact that
Pearson might be elected and might do as
ne said he Would-enforce the law strictly
and impartially, just as three weeks ago
the Democrats declared they wanted it
enfoyced. The only reason why
Pearson was defeated was because the
Democratic party of Portland were afraid
that he might be elected and believed, if
elected, he would keep his promises.
The Portland daily press., 1900-08-01
THE DEMOCRATS
SHERIFF..
AND

Two weeks ago the Maine Democrats in
State convention assem- mbled, resolved as
follows:
When resubmissiOn is accomplished
we advocate a high license and local Op-
tion law, but until this is accomplished
we demand the impartial enforcement
OF the present prohibitory law, and we
pledge our candidates il elected, to such
an enforcement.
Yesterday the Democrats of Cumberland
county had an opportunity to show the
people just how much sincerity there was
in this resolution. They had before them
three candidates for sherifT-one of them
a firm believer in enforcement, man
who has denounced the shortcomings Of
the officers in relation to the
enforcement of the prohibitory law for
years past, man who is committed by
hundreds of public utterances and private
utterances, and by the whole tenor of his
career, to strict and impartial enforce
ment Of the law-so thoroughly commit
ted to this course that he could not adopt
any other without forever DESTROYING
his reputation in this community and
making his name synonym for hypoc =
risy and deceit They had also two very
respectable gentlemen, neither of whom
has ever manifested any special interest
in the enforcement of law, who have
never committed themselves to it in any
public way, and who have little
to lose by allowing the sheriff office to
be administered in the Same old way.
The case was argued at length, pro and
con, and the convention rejected the
man who was certain, it elected, to give
them the kind of enforcement that was
demanded in their State platform, and
selected one of the men who We're practi-
The Portland daily press., 1900-08-01

Bressi the assassin of King Humbert,
is alleged to have told the correspondent
of the London Daily Mail, that he came
from America on purpose to kill Hum
bert, and that his only motive was to
live up to his anarchistic principles.
There is considerable evidence to show
that he belonged to a society of anarch-
lists whose headquarters have been in the
vicinity of New York, that the So
ciety resolved to put Humbert to death,
and that Bresst was selected as the in
strument. If this should turn out to
be the fact the authorities in this country
would have a duty to perform. If Ithere
was conspiracy then every member of it
was equally guilty with Bressi, and if
the conspiracy was formed in this coun-
try and any of the conspirators are still
here, then it is the duty OF the author1-
ties here to hunt them out and bring
them to justice. The assassination Of a
monarch, under the circumstances which
surrounded the case of Humbert, is not
a political offence, but case OF murder
pure and simple.
The Portland daily press., 1900-08-01
THE MAGIC BUTTON.
Which Deserved and Secured "A Very
Remarkable Sale.

Which Deserved and Secured "A Very
Remarkable Sale.
The street fakir had the largest and
most attentive audience of the season at
a prominent down town corner. He had
a voice like an overworked campaign
orator and was equally as yoluble and
self assertive. From his shoulder dan
gled a belt of tin buttons that in its en-
tirety resembled a bicycle chain. Accord
ing to his statements, which were for the
most part borne out by practical illustra-
tions, the buttons were wonders of in
yentive skill and could be successfully ap-
piled to a PERSONS apparel in a variety of
ways.
'Now, this little hinvention, loidies
hand gents" said he, sis no 'umbug. no
catchp'ny devoice. Hits th' work hof
moind really CROFT. For five Vars after
hit was hinvented hit 10y upon the poor
Inventors cupboard shelf until hat
laWst, ye knaW, some one took hit hup
hand put hit on th' markit Should a dis
aster 'appen to your suspenders, hit'll take
their ploice in this woy-so. If ye go to
a party hand there is no at rack, hand
you feel Uncomfortable with yer at in
yer and, just fasten it to yer coat this
woy. Same woy at a theayter, where
theres notnlnk hunder th' seat fer yer
at. This prevents, don't ye see, some
feller carryin hof yer at hand gettin tn
best Of th' bawgan.
Hit halso serves the poipose of a boy
cycle guard hand necktoy holder, garter
hand sleeve holder, hand, here, just look
ere, gentlemen, should ye foind yerself in
a crowd where there is danger of pick
pockets, just fasten th' little thing to th'
top Of your vest-so. He might break
tn choin, but he'd never git tn watch,
ye see. Ye can lock up yer pocketbook
in th' soime woy-in fact, ye can hold
down high water pants, keep yer cuffs
noicely hadjusted, take tn creases out
of shirt waists, do most hanythink, hand,
loidies hand gentlemen, they're honly foive
cents hapiece or six fer a quarter Has
Mr.. Dooley says, 1Hif ye haven't foiye
cents, buy quarters worth F."
10 all this eloQuence there was no re-
sponse until the clever fellow remarked
in a confidential tone:
"Whoy, gentlemen, they're heven guar
anteed to keep yer woife's lips buttoned
when ye tell her a secret, hand''-
For the next few minutes the street
fakir was very busy selling buttons
Detroit Free Press.
The Portland daily press., 1900-08-01
COMP ANY INSPECTORS MATCH.

OOMR AN 1NSHECIOR' > MAICd.
Wednesd day, hour to be fixed by colonel
commanding,
Conditions same as in company team
match, as to distance, rifles, etc,
Prize, gold medal.
Fifth Event, Wednesday, 90 a. m.-
Reg1mental championship match. Dis
tance 200, 800 and 500 yards; target A, at
2J0 and 300, and target B, at 500 yards.
Rifle and ammunition same as in COM
pany team matches. ANY member Of the
regiment with record of hrst-class marks
man, in the preliminary practice of 1900,
allowed to enter Position, at 200 yards,
standing, at other distances, prone.
RO 1nds seven, two sighting shots at each
distance; no cleaning between ranges.
Prize, Governors gold championship
medal.
The teams will be selected by the COM
mander of the company and their names
furnished the Inspector General of Rifle
Practice the day prior to match. Cards
Will be furnished for this purpose.
Those desiring to enter the commits
stoned officers revolver or championship
competitions Will make entry with the
Inspector General of Rifle Practice the
day prior to competition.
Should circumstances require, changes
may be made in the hours of composition
by the commander of the regiment,
The same matches, and conditions
which are made for the First Regiment
will govern the competitions of the Sec
Ond Regiment.
The range viii be open for qualiflca-
tion after the close of the matches, and
captains OF companies win apply to the
Colonel commanding for such privileges,
furnishing him with the names, and des-
ignating the class each is to attempt
qualification.
The color mel commanding viii make
n rrn1 ma In
General of Rifle Practice as will permit
such qualification practice, under the
rules governing the same,
Blunt Manual will govern in all mat
ters not provided herein.
Very respectfully,
E. G. HARRINGTON,
Colonel and Inspector General of Rifle
Practice.
BY order of the Commander-in-C Chief,
JOHN Il RICHARDS,
Adjutant General.
The Portland daily press., 1900-08-01

The candidates nominated by the
Democratic convention in this city. are
all men of the most scrupulous honesty,
of the4nost incorruptible integrity, OF the
most unblemished personal character, OF
the most extraordinary abilities, they
are all Democrats of Democrats, and
every one of them in his particular walk
in life is without peer, and with no
superior. We learn these things from the
speeches of the gentlemen who put them
in nominal. on.
The Portland daily press., 1900-08-01

1t didn t take the Democratic conven-
tton at Alfred but very few minutes to
nominate a candidate for Congress Gen,
eral John j Lynch wanted the nomina-
tion, or at least was willing to take it,
and it was rendered to him with rush
that betrayed some fear that he might
change his mind General Lynch will
lead the Democrats to defeat as success
fully as anybody that could be named.
The Portland daily press., 1900-08-01

Whatever threats the Chinese may make
in regard to the ministers will not delay
the advance to Pekin. The powers have
decided that the capital must be occupied,
and reparation compelled for the outrages
committed by the Chinese mob or the
Chinese government. In this ve1w the
United States is in full accord. OF course
it is possible that an advance may put
the ministers in jeopardy if the mob
is in complete possession of Pekin. But
it is unlikely if the government has any
power.left that it viii allow to be put into
execution, even if it makes them, threats
to treat the ministers as hostages. Such
a course would bring down upon the
heads of the Chinese officials the direst
punishment when the allies arrived at
Pekin, as they surely win sometime. An
irresponsible mob might not be affected
by such considerations, but a government
surely would be.