davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

Few of Them Mean Anything-He
looked at the picture and laughed loud
ly. That's good,' he said. But what
does it mean?" she asked. Mean?
Why, it doesn't mean anything he
replied It's just a political cartoon
Chicago Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

Mr.. Gump Ito teacher)-''No, don't
want you to teach my son any gram
mar. Not a bit of it." Teacher-"But-
but-this is unusual, sir. May 1 in
quire your reasons?" Mr. Gump-"I
intend that he shall be writer of pop
ular songs Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

This letter of the emperor of China
to President Mckinley" began the OBJ
servant Boarder. Il have read it" re-
piled the Cross Eyed Boarder. Wasn't
it written by the monarch who had
been killed several times?" Yes"
How do you account for it2'' There
is quite a demand for post humous
literary work nowadays. "-Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

Cyril (aged five)-"I shall never get
married, mammal" Mamma-"But
thought you were SO fond of Ethel?"
Cyril-"Yes; but she believes in fairies,
and 1 don't!"-Punch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

''When it comes to hunting for souls, -
remarked the first heather, most of
these missionaries are Birds so they
birds of pray '-Philadelphia. Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

The Only One Who Knows.-''HOw
does he happen to know so much about
China? He never was there" 'Of
course, not; but he's a professional pol
itician. '-Chicago Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04
She sighed dismallv

She sighed dismally.
DO you know the real meaning of
loneliness in this thickly populated
world?" she asked
do -" returned the commercial
traveller, with feeling. well, L should
say 1 did. Why, it's no uncommon
thing at all for me to reach the only
hotel in a small town at an hour when
it's too late to go to bed and too early
to get up."-Chicago Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

In the Lunatic Asylum-Keeper-
''This poor fellow used to be a famous
musician" Visitor-tAhl and now he's
a wandering minstrel. "-Philadelphia
Evening Bulletin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

1.-THE great trouble with the people Of
this country" he said, endeavoring to
interest Miss Willington's mother. while
the beautiful girl was upstairs making
herself as lovely s possible before per-
hitting him to see her, sis that they
are in too much of a hurry. 1t has be-
come a national trait, this being in a
hurry. We are all"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

Explained@''TheBr British nation seems
to be taking the Pelxin horror in rather
stoical fashion Yes. They are afraid
of stirring up Alfred Austin "-Cleve-
land Plain-Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

How She Looked at Him-F'irst Ar
tist-''Why do you call that study in
still life?' Second Artist-"Why, that's
the horse I bet on at the last Suburban.
Puck
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

The Gold One.-Huskinby- tell We
I don't believe Hiram GrabaT wuz evel
in New York in his hull life Hayrakt
But he wuZ; he showed me the
bricki'-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

His Definition.-"You never studied
oratory?" NO." answered Senator
Sorghum. Il never cared to be a speak
err" What is your idea of a true ora
tor?'' AN orator, sir, is a man who is
out trying to get votes without paying
for them. washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

The Missing Word.-Dimley-"T
books are very helpful to children, in
my opinion" Tharpe-"First steps to
composition, SO to speak?" Dimley-
Exactly; they leave out important
words for the children to supply, thus.
Father says it is - hot today -
Brooklyn Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

Diner Ito restaurant waiter)-''What
have you got for dinner?" Waiter
Roast eeffricasse edcrickenstewedlamb
dingmilkteaandcoffee." Diner-"Give me
the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, eighteenth.
and nineteenth syllables. ''-Tit-Bits.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

cashier, found him defiant. What evil
dence have you" he demanded, that 1
am the superintendent of a Sabbath
SCHOOL," THE shortage in your ac-
counts said quietly. 1 think the fell
low was staggered by this, for he trem-
bled as I snapped the bracelets on his
wrists.-Detroit Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

An English tourist, who had left
waterproof on a train, went back to look
for it. On asking the occupants of a
third-class compartment whether they
had seen anything of a Macintosh"
ma, na,' one of them replied, we're
a. Macphersons here'-GlasgoW Even
ing Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

Lacking Credence-"Can you believe
what he says?" asked the journalist of
the newspaper man. q am sorry to be
compelled to answer that question in
the negative" replied the latter. He
is as untrustworthy as a copyrighted
cablegram. ''-Harper'S Bazaar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

Mr.. Hauskeep-My wife broke a fairy
lamp, two vases and a cut-glass flower
stand in our parlor last evening, but she
accomplished her purpose.
Mr.. AScum-FOr goodness sake, what
was her purpose?
Mr.. Hauskeep-To capture a clothes
moth she saw flying around.-Phila
delphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

you don't do anything at all, do you,
Digby?'
Don't do anything? Do you know
that the work performed by the mere
vital processes of the human body every
twenty-four hours amounts to lifting
3,400 tons ?''-Indianapol Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-04

Railway Agent-Our railway, madam,
is strictly up to date in every respect.
Madam-NonSense. Look at this wo-
man on your excursion folder; her
sleeves have been out of style for three
years.-Chicago Record.
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18
SENATOR CLARK NOT i SENATOR.

Washington, April 11.--The com mittee report recommending declar ing vacant the seat of Senator Clark of Montana was a great sur prise to nearly every one in the capital today. Not because the report was adverse, however, but because it was unanimous.
 Clark was not atthe capital when the news of the decision was given out, but his heutenants promptly telephoned him the result at the Arlington hotel. Some friends of Daily, the bitter political and busi- ness enemy of Clark, were on hand They hurrledly sent the news by wire to Montana. Clark has pri- vately stated that if the verdict of the committee went against him he would immediately resign. If that is true his resignation may be forth coming at any hour, and the com- mitteo would then probably be spared the labor of drafting an elaborate report. The procedure will then be to declare the seat vacant and a majority of the seEate only is required in such case Actual expulsion would require a two-thirds vote.
 Up to noon today the senator had not resigned, however, and to ali lnterrogatories on the subject he merely replied: T cannot give out any information on the subject at this time"
 T. ere were many expression in the committee favorable to Senator Clark from a personal point of view and more than one senator gave utterance to doubts as to whether he had actual personal knowledge of the expenditure. Others ex- pressed the opinion that the senator was in a certain sense tbe victim of resentment. The outlay of money in past elections in Montana was dwelt upon a, one of the txylan- atious of tue liberal expenditures iu this ease. Senator Hurley was
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18
GLOBE SIGHTS.

It gives a person 6 creepy sensa- ton to be asked 10 admire coffin.
 Try 10 take advice about shutting out worry at night, and you will find it a good deal like shutting out a cat tha. is trying to get in.
 When q woman Is too sick to go to funeral, she finds satisfaction in sitting at the window and watch ing for the procession, but man can't.
 A wise man said many years ago that there was nothing new under the sun. There have been thou sands of new things since Lhat say ing was written
 There are 50 many idlepeople late lythat. they have started story that hard work is an evidence of sordid seifishnes, and that man who works cannot possibly have any of the "fner feelings" which disting- uish idle people. Still, don't adopt ldleness: the new theory that an industrious man cannot be worthy man, Is baseless, like so many other of the new theories,
 When a man wears a hat that is not becoming, boys whistle Q tune known as "Where did you get that hat?" and he is pestered aud criti- cized until he takes it of. But woman may wear an unbecomlng hat year without hearing any thing but compliments for It: It Is considered @ sin to tell woman the truth. Many dissgreeable wo men do not know they are disagree able no one dares tell them the truth. It is very hard for women to learn, and easy for men, because men are openly criticized, while women are only criticized when they are out of hearing. Half the people in Atchison are talking about certain girls ridiculous costume, but she does not know it: indeed, people tell her how sweet she looks in a costume they afterwards abuse in the yilest manner.-Atchison Globe.
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18
A WILDCAT.

Here Is how Industry and Mining defines a Wildcat"
 First-Three stakes claiming 8 portion of the earth.
 Second-A hole in the ground containing chlorides ot expectations and blasted hopes.
 Third-Capitalizion at sl5,000,- 000 and an elegant prospectus.
 Fourth-Managing directors who do not know ore from country rock, Or tunnel from a shaft, but are experts ID assaying MUmm's Pom mery, Greno and several other. things. including Blackjack, which is sometimes found i'll the hole ii tke ground.
 Fifth-Development-a column or two pald writeup of the progress ofthe company, including banquets, jags, etc.
 Sixth-In order to tap the pay streak, before tue ledge is crosscu', $5O,000 must be expended for min ing machinery. and $5,0O0 more to sink the hoie in the ground deeper.
 Seventh-More writeup, jags. in creased assessments, which call for an investigation assaying as fol- lows:
 30 per cent suckers.
 10 per cent boozereno.
 20 per cent assessments.
 20 per cent chloride of troubles, lawyers fees etc.
 The hole in the ground has caved in, and the Wilcat is dead.
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18
THEPRESENT CABINET.

In answer to question we print below the names of President Me Kinley's cabinet as it is at present:
 Secretary of State, John Hay. of Ohio.
 Secretary of the Treasury, Ly- man J. Gage, of Illinois. Secretary of War, Elihu Root, of New York.
 Attorney General, JohnW. GrigEs of New Jersey.
 Postmaster General, Charles E.. Smith, of Pennsylvania. Secretary of the Navy, John D. Long, of Massachusetts Secretary of the Interior, Ethan Allen Hitchcock, of Missouri. Secretary of Agriculture, James Wilson, of Iowa. Of these only three were in Pres ident Mckinlex's original cabinet Secretary of the Treasury, Gage. Secretary of the N>vy, Long. and Secretary of Agriculture, Wilson.
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18
HUNTINGTON'S HEART.

Colhs P. Huntington, tLe South ern Pacific president, is accounted shrewd business man, but the widow of one of his employees has proved to her satisfaction that he has q heart. The San Bernardino Sun" is authority for tue story:
 One of those instantly killed in the Christmas. wreck at Pomona was brakeman whose wife and two sma.l children are left to struggle alone with the world, and carry cn unassisted the battle of life which should have been fought by the man whose life had been sacrificed by the railroad The widow was urged to place her case in the hands of attorneys and commence suit for damages in large figure, but she declined all such advice Instead of this she wrote to Collis P. Hunt ington, stating her loss and her cir cumstances and that she should not go to law to compel the com pany to pay her any stated sum for the heavy loss she and her children had endured in the sudden and terrible death of husband and father, but would leave the case entirely in his hands.
 She has recently received the answer and certainly it seems to prove that after all there is heart somewhere in the anatomy of the shrewd, hard headed president of of the railroad corporation. Mir. Huntington gives orders to those in authority in the proper depart ment to purchase and make q free gift 10 the bereaYcd mother, in any
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18

U. s. LAND OFFICE Tucson, Arizona.
 February 1900.
 Notice is hereby given that Thomas o. Toland. whose post office address is Ven tura, Ventura county, California, has made application to select under the Act of June 1, 1897, t30 stats, 36) the following tract of unsurveved land in Cibola valley, Yuma county, Arizona:
 The NEA of the SWH and the SWH of the SWH of Subdivision Is, and the E1z of the SE14 of Subdivision r ot the Cibola valley, Yuma county, Arizona, containing I60 acres, as said lands and subdivisions are shown, designated, and delineated upon the map of said valley entitled "Subdivi- sion and Irrigation map of Cibola valley, Yuma county, Arizona, made by John A. Barry, surveyor, November, 1899" filed in this office November 25 1899, by Stephen B. SeaIy and others, Desert Land claimants, and according to the map marked Exhibit A attached to the application for this selection.
 Within the next thirty days from the date of the first publication of this notice protests or contests against the selection on the ground that the land described, or any portion thereof, is more valuable for it's minerals than for agricultural purposes, will be received and noted for report to the ! Commissioner of the General Land Office. MILTON R. MooRE Register.
 First publication February Il, 1900.
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18
THE TOLTECS.

Senor Edwardo Noriega an emI- nent Mexican scientist in a recently published work, gives the following summary of the results ofresearches expecting the origin of the ancient civilization of Mexico:
 "Respecting the ancient civiliza- tion of Mexico there are two opi nions; one afirms that it originated south of Mexico and tEat it spread from south to north; tke other, that the people came from the north; this latter is the now crediabIe, and accords with the consensus Of opi- nion of the aborig;nes themselves and of the Spaniards who read the ancient paintings and enbibed the national traditions.
 The Toltecs were of the Nahua race; they were originally establish ed to the north the river Gila in what is now Arizona. Their prin- cipal city was Huchuctlapallan, whence they emigrated on account of civil disturbances. They were tall, robust, and of better appearance than the other races. X
 The primitive cult of this people consisted in the adoration of the sun, moon stars. The fecund powers of the sun were personifcd Tn Tonacateculutli, lord or susten- ance, to whom were offered flowers, fruits and animals. This cult was transformed into polytheism by contact with the neighhoring races in the valley of Mexico.
 They cultivated the soil diligent- ly; sowed corn, chili, beans, vege- tables, and other seeds known in the country; for clothing, they used several textile fabrics, preferring cotton; as architects they had no rivals on the continent, and were excellent pottery makers, carpenters and leather workers They used pearls and precious ston $ as orna- me1ts ald currency, and were we'll acquainted with the virtues and uses of herbs.
 They had considerable knowledge of astronomy and arranged their time according to the movements of the heavenly bodies. There is no question but that they possessed the art Of writing by means ofwhat were called "thought symbols" although this art probably fell in dlSuSe Qu1rg thelr CIVIL dlslu!D- ances and subsequent perigrina- tons.
 Their morals were good and they were averse to war. They delight ed in song, musical and drawing the common music Instruments being drums and pipes. They were devout, of cleanly habits, well ad- vanced in courtesy and good man. ners, and good orators. D
 These are the people described in "The SkYstone" with so much realism that they seem to live again.
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18
YUMA, ARIZONA, WEDNESDAY. APRII.TI' I9OO

city where she chooses to reside, of a house and grounds and also pay each of the two boys $50 per morth from the time of their loss until they are of legal age. Thus does the widow fare much better than she could have expected in even the most favorable issu6 of law suit, and does not have to divide with the lawyers.
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18
THE New York World Thrice ] 8 Meek ECIititiOn
Practically Dailg ct tsc price Qfa H-ceHy

The striking and important events of the last year have established the overw helming value of the THRICE-A- WEEK WORLD to every reader. For an almost nominal sum 1t has kept it's subscribers informed of the pro- gress of all our wars and, moreover, has reported them as promptly and fully as if 1t were a daily. With our interests still extending throughout the world, with our troops operating in the Philippines, and the great pres ident'al campaign, toe, at hand, its value IS further increased.
 The motto of the THRICE-A-WEEK WORLD is improvement. It strives each year to be better than it was the year before, and public confidence in it is shown by the fact that 1t now circulates more than twice as many papers every week as any other news paper, not q daily, published in America.
 To all new subscribers we offer this unequaled newspaper and THE ARI- IONA SENTINEL together one year for $2.65.
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18

The Gazette congraluIqtes Colo nel Randolph upon the termination of the suit of the King of Arizona mine. Col Randolph has invested ;t fortune in that great mine aud the peop are glad that he will be permitted to enjoy the fruits of his inve stments.
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18
NOLAN K AL
NOrtOn's Hotel, Stage and TeIehpone Lines
FROM MOHAWK TO TEXAS HILL

E The Stage leaves Mohawk for Texas Hill daily except Sunday nd con- meets with the westbound passen ger train. Stage leaves Texas Hill for Mohawk at 9:30 a. m daily or on arrival of westbound passenger train.
 Telephone service from Texas Hill 10 King of Arizona mine. Parties wanting teams to meet thom on arrival Of any train can tele- phone for them. Their orders will be promptly attended to. Rigs fitted out 10 take parties 10 the different mining camps on the north sIde of the Gila River, King of ArIzona Mines, the Oregonian Mines, Buena Vista and La Mexicana Mines, Mohawk Copper Mines, Etc, Etc.
 Good Hotel accommodations at Mo- hawk. Ferry across the Gila river.
 GEO. vy. NORTON,
 88GE.ssH k1a AFtzOEa. |.
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18
Land Script

The cheapest and most convenient way of securing title to public land
 Any non-mlneral government land in the United States which is open to en- try, surveyed or unsUrycyed, can be ocated, immediately without any re- quirement of residence or improve mant. For particulars address Eere- ford X Hazard, attorncys-at-Iaw, Iucs0u. Arizona. lt
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18
l,iInsl PiLesE ifahinr Piles.

sYurroNs- Moisture: ense itching sndstinging most at night; worse by scratching. If allowed to continue tumors form, which often bleed and ul- cerate, becoming very sore. SwAYNEs OINTMENT stops the itching and bleeding, heels uiceration and in most eases removes the tumors. At drug si.ts, or bs mail, for 50 cents. 0r, swaync Son, Phlladd
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18

among the senators who dissented from the view that Mir. Clark could have been uninformed that money was being used in his election, and he made one of the most vigorous talks Of the series Tn favor of an adverse report.
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18
DESERT LAND, FINAL PROOF
 NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
UNITED STATES LAND OFFIcE,l

Tucson, Amz., FeDTuaFy }, I8UJ. Notice is hereby given that EPes Ran dolph of Tucson, Arizona, has fled notice ofintention to make proof on his desert land claim N5 2761, for lots 1, ?, 3, & 1, l.. E \. W.4&E. 1& 5. ". 14 Sec. IS, T. 9 S. R. g w., C. X $. R. B. 65 NJ, before the Clerk oftha District Court at Yuma, Ariz- ona, on Wednesday, the 2lst day of March, 1909.
 He names the following witnesses to prove the complete irrigation and reclama- ton Of said land: Eugene $. Ives, Thomas A. Jordan, Frank Jordan and William C. Pruet, all of Yuma, Arizona.
 MILTON E. MOORE,
 Register
The Arizona sentinel., 1900-04-18
FOREST LIEU SELECTION.

|. s. LAND OFFICE, Tncson, Arizona.
 T7ol~,1or,- < 1Q0O
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1900-07-09

tanager's or the grosbeaks, suggests no
passion or emotion, but seems to be the
voice OF that calm, sweet solemnity
one attains in best moments It reali-
yes a peace and a deep solemn joy that
only the finest souls may know. A few
nights ago I assembled a mountain to
see the world by moonlight, and when
near the summit the hermit COM
menced his evening hymn. Listening
to this strain on the lone mountain,
with the full moon just rounded from
the horizon, the pomp of your cities
and the pride of your civilization
seemed trivial and cheap. l have sell
dom known two of these birds to be
singing at the same time in the same
locality
The desire of the hermit thrush to
be alone is as strong in Louisiana as in
it's northern home, but when the mock
ing-bird is engaged in mastering it's
song it is not permitted to be alone.
1t must either sing while another
singer is outpouring it's soul or it must
OF this is that the listener is often
furnished by double hermit song, one
by the hermit and one by the imitator,
but there is no ear so fine that it can
detect the difference if it happen that
the mocker has progressed to the last
stage of his memorization. In fact,
the wood thrush, the cat bird, the
wood veery and the wood sparrow
often find themselves merrily answer
ing supposed brother hidden, where
as they are affording material to the
mocke:.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1900-07-09
APPLE HABIT IN CONGRESS.

The apple habit is growing in con-
gress. The number of senators and
representatives who retire to the
cloakrooms and eat the great Ameri-
can fruit instead of seeking more
elaborate lunch in the senate and
house restaurants has increased, un-
til the apple eaters no longer feel
lonesome.
"Old Pete" Hepburn of Iowa is one
of the latest converts to the merits of
the apple as a hunger satisfier and a
liver regulator When some one
asked Mr.. Bowersock, the Kansas mil
Ter and capitalist, if he was going to
lunch, he said he was, and started for
the cloakroom, where he extracted a
big apple from his overcoat pocket,
with the remark, Mrs. Bowersock has
provided me with lunch.'
A few days ago sudden crisis on
the floor brought "Uncle Joe" Cannon