davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
PhOnics!

A Brookline (Mass.) family was sim
ply Mortified recently when small
daughter of the house broke forth into
song with the words, ''To hell with the
birth of Christ" The amazement was
intense, and they very naturally put
a stop at once to such irreverence.
Upon questioning the child, they
learned that she had been taught the
song in school. and an Investigation
quickly followed to determine what
manner of teacher had the oversight
of their. own little darling and Of other
children. as well. It was soon learned
that the teacher, a most competent
and careful one. had been instructing
her pupils in the words of a Christmas
carol. which were: ITO Herald the
Birth Of Christ" r This was different!
The innocent young one, not under
standing the meaning Of the correct
words, had sung them as they sounded
to her. Did this happen, or is it: sim
:ply5a bit Of jollying at the expense OF
superintendent button? Probably
the latter. Journal of Education.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
POINTERS FOR kENTUCklANS.

: Man born in the mountains of Ken
lucky is Of feud days and full Of virus.
He tisheth, dddleth, cusseth and fight
eth all the days of his miserable life.
He shunneth water as mad dog
and drinketh much mean whisky. =
When he desireth to raise b he
planteth at neighbor and 10! he
reapeth twenty fold. He riseth even
from the cradle to seek the scalp OF,
his grandsire's enemy, and bringeth
home In his carcass the ammunition
of his wife's neighbours wife's cousins
father-in-law, who avengeth the deed.
Yes, verify his life is uncertain, and
he knows not the hour when he may
be jerked hence.
He goeth forth on journey half shot
and cometh back on q shutter, shot.
He riseth in the night to let the cat
out and it taketh nine doctors three
days to pick the buckshot out him.
He goes forth in Joy and gladness
and cometh back in scraps and frag-
ments.
A cyclone bloweth him into the boz
som of his neighbours wife, and his
neighbours wife's husband bloweth
him into Abraham's bosom before he
hath time to explain.
He emptieth a demijohn into him
self and shotgun into his enemy,
and enemy's son Heth in wait for him
on election day, and 10! the coroner
plougheth up1a forty acre field to bury
the remains Of that man 49, +
Woe, woe is Kentucky, for her eyes
are red with bad whisky, and her soul
is stained with the blood of innocent
Observation-Disclosures (Tex) Demo
crat.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
Won by q Poem.

Yesterday afternoon sweet-looking
old lady, with hair as white as the
snow and countenance smiling and
cheerful, stepped into Attorney Henry
N. Spans office in the Trust building
and said she wanted to have the law
yer make. a few changes in her will,
which she had written about 10 years
ago. The lawyer made note of the
alterations desired and then for the
first time picked up the faded instru-
ment fer an examination. Down in
the corner Of the first page, written
in very fine, delicate feminine hand,
ae saw this verse from Tennyson:
twilight and evening star,
And ONE clear call for me; !
AID may there be no nnoaning OF the
bar s "a \ 5 a % I N 3l#5.
When put out to sea. .s2 d z
when / read that prohetfc verse, =
said Mr.. Spaan to a Sentinel reporter.
Il took one steady lock at the lovely
old woman, bowed my head with rev
Ference, and ELL I cut Eny Zee right
In two In the mid dle.' II dianapolis
Sentinel.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
About the Veil

Wells with velvet spots have been
the reigning fashion for some time.
but the novel feature which distin-
guishes them now is, that you can Sc
lect your plain net, choose the size and
number Of spots most becoming and
have them put on to- order as far apart
or as near together as you like Fancy
q pretty woman standing before the
mirror arranging the becoming posi-
ton Of the spots on her veil while
the girl behind the counter sews In
little threads to mark the places, and
you will have a new edition Of the
vanity Of vanities, but the result fully
justifies the means New FORK Sun.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

1 Antiquity OF Fa1miliar Terma. sS
The antiquity OF familiar terms Is
surprising when It is known. Many
people are not aware that What the
dickens!'' occurs in Shakespe but
fewer still will be prepared to hear
j that the phrase, "a regular shindy IS,
found in an, authors note to q poem
called "sThe Popish Kingd oms = pub
Slished in 1870. A writer In the 5Athe-
naeum quotes this note, which refers
to the celebration OF Maundy Thurs
day: Midnight services are held In
church, the lights are put out, and 4
regular shindy follows, men being
beaten and wounded, London Globe.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
Behind the Barber's Screen.


There was a lull in the days bust
ness. Two of the downtown barbers'
assistants were watching the street
from their basement window, the two
pairs Of eyes gazing fervently up from
the actual asphalt level Another as
sistant read a forlorn looking news
paper. Only the boss barber was oc-
cupied with customer, and this in
dividual, gazing oeilingward through
luxurious lather, became aware of con-
versation in the room which was not
accounted for by the four persons in
sight. There was now and again a
distinct treble quality to the muir
when shaved and returned to an up
right posture, the visitor made fur
Their discoveries. A green screen par
tltioned one corner of the shop. Be-
side it appeared the square shoulder
of a man. He was facing table, and
just beyond could. be seen the mods
and smiles of a smartly dressed young
woman. THAT" echoed the boss bar
Der, in reply to the customers ques-
ton. ooh, that's only our manicure.
Does quite a thriving trade here on
Saturday afternoon Surprising how
many business men will stop to have
their hands polished of. q But they
will, though, and we had to have q
manicure here. That girl is niece
of mine, and she's usually kept busy
the afternoons she stays here. + She
was handy at learning things, and
she's making a little money OF her
own New York Sun. ~, 5.if#ss,s.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
SOMETHING WAS NRo ONO.
Why the Customer objected to the
5 4. Taste or tho Coffee. n s55 I'M

Why the Customer objected ~ the
RI Tasts Or ths Coffee.
It was plain that the man at the
corner table IN the restaurant had In
dulged in several appetizers. He han
died his utensils nnsteadi lily and made.
a lavish use Of the condiments, tipped
over the catsup and spattered soup
freely on his pie. Yet he bothered no
one, SO no audible objection was made.
Suddenly, after taking couple OF sips
OF his coffee. he made q grotesquely
Wry face that was in accord with his
rye breath. and blatted out: Il" Plat tn
divvle is TIL matter wild this coffee?".
A waitress quickly reached his elbow
and inquired soHcitously as to the
cause OF his criticism Of the coffee.
'.'Whoy," he said. se'thot shtufr tastes
loike it wor mixed wild vinegar ur meb-
be sprayed wild paris green : Did you
sweeten it?" coyly asked the waitress.
"Phwere did OF git it? Whoy, out "
thot TEASPOONS iv shugar in ot,. and,
WOW, phwat taste it. howl Where
did you get the sugar?"' inquired the
fair young waitress, trying hard to re-
press smile, as her suspicious began
to take form. "P'hwere did; OF git it?
Whoy, out iv thot shugar bowl, iv
course. Phwere wud OF take shugar
frum-out iv salt ,cellar?" She re-
treated safe distance before she ex-
planned matters. "That BOWL" said
she, contains horseradish!" 1T luks
more loik dice crane" said the VIC
tim, as he meekly paid his bill and
went out for bracer. -r<
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
An Indian Child,s PRAYER 3,

Isl Miss Mary 2. Lord, a teacher among
the Sioux Indians. tells us this beau
tiful little story: An Indian baby
was dying. It lay in its fathers arms,
while nearby stood another little
daughter q few years older, who was
q Christian. r pa, s said the little
daughter, little sister: is going to
heaven tonight. Let me pray. AS
she said this she kneeled at her faith
ser's knee, and this was the sweet lit
tie prayer which fell from her lips.
Father God. little sister is coming
to see you to-night Please open the
door softly and let her in. Amen, -.
Rams Horn.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
4 4, car : DISPLAYS sTRArEuY.@


IS Expert H Il. fs5
d It was not his size or his beauty
which made him remarkable, though
his possession Of these attributes Of
feline superiority easily made him
prominent among the cats Of the;
=neighbo rhood, with whom he waged
unrelentless warfare. but the fact is
that he possessed q controlling mind
and a strategetic ability that would
had he been born in a more exalted
sphere Of life. 3 For this cat. with true
diplomacy. made friends with the dogs
of his particular domain and went
forth to battle attended by a body.
guard whose appearance inspired re-.
spect and assisted him, in his COM
bats. An English mastiff, a bird dog,
and a small cocker spaniel shared his
meals, and later enabled him to gain
victories over his hated rival, the gray
cat across the street This cat had
had many a contest with that gray
cat, but the combat always resulted
in a draw, because of the guerilla
tactics of his wary opponent, who pre-
ferred short fight and a rapid dash
to safety to a prolonged conflict where
the superior weight and fighting abil-
ity Of the cat with the controlling
mind would have a decided advantage.
The thought that victory, undisputed,
had never yet perched upon his ban
ners, vexed the soul of the diplomatic
feline and embittered his milk and
beefsteak with the wormwood Of ven
geance long delayed. But at last di-
plomacy triumphed and retribution
overlook the gray 2rowler and dis
turber of midnight slumber. One day
in fatal hour the gray cat invaded
the precincts of the feline Bismarck
when the allies of the latter were at
hand. When he struck a sudden
blow and ran, smile of joy parted
the whiskers of the cat with the con-
trolling mind, and with him the three
dogs Joined the chase.
Because of their superior numbers
the dogs easily caught and brought
to bay the gray cat and then formed
ring about him while the avenger
entered the arena and began the bat
tie. Continually driven back into the
ring by the three dogs, the gray cat
was unable to pursue his favorite tao
tics, and the result. after one of the
prettiest "cat scraps" that that ward
had ever seen, was complete victory
for the cat with the diplomatic incli-
nations. Only when the gray cat, by
a flying leap over the heads of the
dogs, escaped did he let up in the work
of righteous retribution. Then in the
consciousness of victory, the conquer
or returned, accompanied by his al
lies, to his repast of milk and beef
steak. lord of his own domain. And
the surrounding neighborhood as far
as three blocks owned his undisput-
ed sway.-Grand Rapids Herald.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
MUST NOT INITIATE CURE.

. " MUST NOT INITIATE CO RE.
Joseph W. Burgess of the firm Of
Burgess & Van Horn, chemists, and
Harry Lay and w. T. ,Fuge, BARRIERS,
were arraigned lin the criminal court
at Kansas City, May 2, 'on the charge
of refilling bottles which originally
contained Coke's dandruff cure with
spurious article and passing it off
Tor the genuine. They pleaded not
guilty and were released on bonds of
$500 each to appear for trial May "a.
s. It is understood that other arrests
q will follow and that the cases now
spending will be vigorously prosecuted.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
AfBOnnet To Fit 1t

g. AfBonnet To Fit 1t.
ply lesson asked a child:
"What is the axis Of the earth ~
An Imaginary line passed from one
pole to the other. on which the earth
revclves,' answered he, proudly.
@.E Eyes, said the examiner, well
pleased "and could you hang a bonnet
on it?'t
4. "Yes. sir.'
4 Indeed! And what kind of a4bon.
net?"
'1tAn Imaginary bonnet, sir.''
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
TT--I.L-- y 81
PATIENTS.
LINT Of Patents Iss0ea Last Week to
N0Fthvvestern Inventors. #a5$.

esxsS Ox Patents Iss0e0 Last Week %
NoFthwestern Inventors. tYs3$
Theodore Burgett, winthrop, MIMI,
scraper; George W. Hardda, Chokio,
Mimi, hitching device; Eugene JAG
Quemin. Minmea polls, Minn., grain
door; Henry Lenling, Gem, S. d., Eve
horse draft equalizer; Janfes b. Mar
tin. Braddnck, n. D., vending ma
chine: Randolph J.. Moulton, Minneap-
oils, Mimi. grain distributor; John
Pearson, Minneapolis, Mimi, safety
synchronizing device; Waldemar H.
SDanier, Devils Lake. N. o., heater or
mixer. 1@. .s5x +: I'LL =.
Merwin. Isothrop e johnson, Patent Attor-
Aeys, e11 ~ 'o12 Pioneer Press Bldg. St Paul
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
:R.ddfcal Cure.

Since taking the drug treatment for
oholism she had lost his fondness for
books. p, -.
HYour mind is doubtless affected"
we suggested kindly.
$40, it's because reading maketh the
full man!'' he exclaimed, shuddering
.abhorringly. - ~
From this I'VE perceived. that the cure
was extremely radieal.-Detroit Jour-
nal. ss&-E ~. ~, .
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
Lay By the Shovel and

"Pshaw" exclaimed papa, throwing
aside his paper, 1.-The poetry they, print
nowadays is distressing"
, Eyes. isn't itr' mamma agreed.
II read a new poem yesterday by
what s-hds-name. Don't you know?
Who was the man-with- the-hoe-"
IT know cried little Tommy"
gold Uncle Ned!'-Philadelph Press.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

Ladies' and Men to Canvas for a
. quick selling patented household. article:
!, large profits; exclusive territory free; Is
cents will start you. Address VIM Emert
37s Smith Ave, or The Ovenette Co., 905
PIP. Bldg ST Paul. 49,, -,
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
Getting Points.

The Great MAXWELL, what are you
going to have me say in to-morrow's
paper? <+'*
Yellow journal Reporter-Oh, don't
know. What would you rather not
have said ?-Harper's Bazaar.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
One Why.

.tss4 ~ -. One WAY. - T." j,
+ McJigger-He'H never succeed in
Nfe-never make living, in fact.
y Thingumbob-Why do you think
fhat?s ,<->--s --'f> '~"---
. McJigger-Oh, every tine he opens
his mouth he puts his foot In it.
i- Thingumbob-Well, that's one way
I at least of making both ends meet
Philadelphia Press.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

Piso's Cure for Consumption lis IAN infallfb1e
medicine for coughs and colds-N.:W. SAMUEL,
Ocean Grove. NJ. aFeb. II, 1900
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

In .hot weather the butcher may lose
lots Of flesh without getting any thin
,ner.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

IN II you must tafae to drink don't think
1t necessary to take any one else with
you. " I@ al 5 IT i
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

MT ssisnit always because the play
strikes you fopcibly that you see stars
at the theater. .4 IL
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
Read the Alverffsemor

Read the ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
You will enjoy this publication much
better if you will get into the habit Of
reading the advertisements; they will
help you in the way of getting some
excellent bargains. Our advertisers are
reliable; they send what they adver-
tise.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

A stage murder is not always effect
tive when an actor, simply murders his
part. il 4,fs< III
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

Ss Even the Hall bird who knows ,h0w "a
sing caEnot break forth ia song. .sa
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

Many courtships find smooth sailing
until they are launched upon the sea
3,of ma trimony. XII ~ ~
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

!.a-, IfsYou Have 'Dandru6
please try Coke Dandruf Cure. Mopay 70
funded if it fails. At Druggists, $1.M
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

Mrs. Misunderstanding Syrup. re
orchildren teething softens the gums, reduces In
3Anmafton, allays pain, wind collie. 25c bottle
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

I,n1aRfant hEtr with fts youthful coisr assured i
Msing PAKRER's HAIR BALsAM. 4 ES g9!1
q HNpKRcoRNs.s the best c1Ee for coFns. 15cts.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
he | !. .! +.
- .-i'5 8. -. '@tIE
P'il'1;Ikl1al||lI,1ir1
Hen1edieS

For disorders Of tho
feminine organs have
gained their great s,an0Nn
and enormous sale be-
cause Of the permanent
good they have done and
are doing for the women
of this country.
If all ailii1g or suffer-
kng women could be made
to understand how alb
S0IufeIy true arc tho
statements about L ydh E.
Pinkhas,,'s Vegetable
Compound, their sxffar'-
kngs would end
Mrs. Pii,lllhas11 oolznseLS
wos,,ez, free Of charger
Her address is lynn
Mass Tho advice she
gives IL practical and
honest. You can write
freely to her; she Is a wo-
man.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

8.ss 38S E Revenge.
s. Editor cannot publish your poem.
81 Poet You would better reconsider.
sIf you don't accept It 4 viii dedicato
"a book to you, or will hereafter use
your name as q pseudonym New
y York World. Vi : s%9 555:s. 81 Il .5s.
4 Arc You Using Ales,s 1ssA- Innss1 s2z
I'll 1T Is the only cure Tor Swollen
smarting. Burning, RI Sweating Fee<
Corns and Bunions. Ask for Aliens
Foot Ease, powder to be shaken into
I the shoes. At all Druggists and Shoe
Stores, 25c. Sample sent FREE. Adj
dress Allen S. OImsted, Leroy. n. i.
Theatrical managers announce strong
attractions for the week. z ztsss g
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07
:Yous WIN n, Nnve,ri.. K K

WhAt good Ink Is unless you use Carriers, 4
scostS no more than Door ink ALI dealers.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

The overworked florist rays hs feels
bloomin' tired. q =
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

y ~ - Halls Catarrh Cure
IL taken internally. Price, 75c.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-07-07

a 1t isn't spring laziness that makes
the average clock have a white face. !.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-12-27
Charmed the Beast.

Look at this handkerchief" said q
young society man to his professional
friend who has an office in the Porter
building That bit of lace and ruffie
Is worth its weight In gold to me-"
"Some connection with old assoc IA
tions-a mere sentiment. | suppose,
suggested the professional man.
Nothing of the kind. From a prac
teal standpoint i Is Just as valuable
as describe 1t to be. A sentiment en-
tiers into the case, however"
We'll. tell lis about It,"
"The handkerchief, then, is the token
by which | am permitted to enter the
house where my sweetheart lives
Without 1t | should be torn to pieces by
huge bulldog there. The beast Is as
feroclous as tiger. During the day
he is kept In chains. but after O'Clock
In the evening his mistress releases
him In the yard. No stranger after
that hour can enter the gate. The ter
rIble animal was menace to my suit
until the lady hit upon the plan of CIV
Ing me her handkerchief for use ms a
pass. Now when the dog rushes to
ward me I have only to toss the dainty
token to him. He smells 1t and walks
peacefully back to his kennel. Do you
blame me for valuing 1t so highly "-
Memphis Scimltar.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-12-27

Blanched almonds are the highest
kind of nerve or brain or muscle food
having no heat or waste, says writer
in Good Housekeeping. Walnuts give
brain or nerve food. muscle. heat and
waste. Green water grapes are blood
purifying. but OF little food value. Blue
grapes are feeding and blood purifying.
hut too rich for those who suffer from
the liver. Tomatoes have higher nerve
or brain food qualities; they are thin
ming and stimulating. Juicy fruits give
more or less nerve or brain nutriment
and some few muscle food and waste.
Apples supply the higher nerve and
muscle food. but do not give staying
qualities. Prunes afford the highest
nerve or brain food, supply heat and
waste. but are not muscle feeding. Or
anges are refreshing and feeding.
Green figs contain nerve and muscle
food, heat and waste. The great ma
jority of small fresh seed fruits are
laxative. Lemons and tomatoes should
not be used daily In cold weather: they
have a thinning and cooling effect
Raisins are stimulating according to
their quality.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-12-27
Among the ADVANTAGES.

A pretty. highborn girl engaged her
self to n young tradesman and never
wavered in her determination to marry
him despite the gloomy forecasts of her
friends. who predicted lifelong misery
for her.
MY child, 80 be advised" urged one
Of these we'll meaning ladies, calling tt
see the radiant bride on the very eve
of the wedding. II am an older WON
an than you and have seen more Of the
world. and 1t always makes me sad to
hear Of a nice girl marrying beneath
her station. 1t is social suicide"
"Then from social standpoint con
slider me dead" smiled the light heart
ed girl. FOR | shall certainly marry
Tom tomorrow. We reckoned up the
situation long ago and found n whole
host of advantages. but not a solitary
thing could we discover to place on the
disadvantage side"
"Then yon couldn't have searched
very far. my dear" said her counselor
Jelly. Take my own case Much as
love you. shall be unable to visit you
when you arc married. Have you bar
gained for thatW
IT, bride FLUSHED.
"Oh, yes. indeed" she answered has
tily I'VE put that down first Of ALL
London Telegraph.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-12-27
East SkOWhegan.

The shedding the past week has been
very good and farmers and lumbermen are
hauling all they can get cut. Geo. Wash
burn has team hauling from the Stafford
Eaton farm, hard wood and bass wood
The prospect is that Frank Penney will
have all the lumber he can saw. this
winter.
Henry Richardson is hauling pine from
his pond lot.
E 3. Richardson has had a bad hand
for the last two weeks He hurt the back
of his hand and the first two weeks
thought but little of it. then blood poison
set in and has had quite serious time
ever since He is very little better
now.
s. Richardson has been confined to the
house most of the time for three weeks.
Saturday, two trees were put into posi-
ton to receive Christmas presents in the
Grange hall at Canaan. A big time
is expected by all interested. AR