The Worthington advance., 1900-07-13
MR.. LIMKlNS' TOAST
(From the Wausau. Wis.,, Philosopher. Re-
printed by Special Permission.)
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C LAS" said Mrs. Limkins, as she
y gave her chair hitch to bring
herself face to face with Mr.. Limkins;
IL have something to say to you. Put
down that paper; want your whole at
tention."
Mr.. Limkins reversed the cross of his
legs, and shifting his paper slightly so
as to cover his face, continued to read.
II want you to wake up a little" con-
tinued Mrs. Limkins. "You are the
most stupid man in this town. You
come home from the office at night, eat
your supper, smoke, read your paper
and go to bed; eat your breakfast in
the morning and go to the office. You
come home again at night, eat your
supper, smoke, read your paper, go to
bed; and so it goes day after day. I
don't get dozen words out of you, day
in and day out, and you do not even
want to listen to me, when talk. If
I want to go out anywhere in the even
ing. I have to go alone. You have al
ways some excuse for staying at home.
If 1 invite my friends here, you have
out. My friends never see you with
me, and hardly know have husband.
''This sort of life may suit you, but
It does not suit me. You have your
business and other things to interest
you during the day, suppose, while I
am shut up here in the house; and
when you come home in the evening I
want something else besides supper,
smoke and Tribune. Now I intend to
make change" Here Mrs. Limkins
deftly took the paper from Mr.. Linn
kins, and rolling it up in her hands,
proceeded to use it to point off her 10.
marks.
Mr.. Limkins yawned submissively,
dumped the ashes from his cigar into
the silver card tray, and settled himself
as comfortably as possible to wait for
the end. Mr.. Limkins had heard these
remarks many times before; he knew
the story from beginning to end, and
also knew it was useless to try to es-
cape any part or defend himself in any
way. Experience had taught him that
it was best to sit quietly and take it
remaining silent to the end.
"Silas," continued Mrs. Limkins,
shaking the crumpled Tribune at him
viciously. II have made up my mind
not to stand this sort of thing any long
er; all my friends take their husbands
around with them and have decided
to bring you out"
Mr.. Limkins said: "Oh," and grew
nervous. Mrs. Limkins was evidently
more determined than usual, and he
began to fear that she had some sort
of a scheme up her sleeve that would
disturb his comfort.
"The Daughters of the Revolution
and their husbands are going to have
a banquet next week." said Mrs. Linn
kins. "There will be several toasts and
/ have arranged to have you respond to
the toast Our Sons.''
"Great Scott exclaimed Mr.. Linz
kins, waking up and staring helplessly
at her.
II will write out your speech" said
Mrs. Limkins, paying no attention to
his Interruption; "all you will have to
do will be to commit it to memory and
repeat it at the banquet"
mo, by thunder" said Mr.. Limkins,
with considerable heat. IF make q
speech to your Daughters of the Revo-
luton it will not be any woman's make
up, I can tell you. To begin with,
haven't time to monkey with any such
nonsense; but if did would make my
cwn speech-and I wouldn't have to
write it out first, either. Do you think
I can't make speech? Why, 1 could
make speech that would knock out
anything any of your Revolution
Daughters husbands could do-just
off-hand-Jim Perkins,, Lem Stubbins
or any of the rest of them. Mebby, you
think because there are lot of stuck
up lawyers and professors in your set,
that can't trot in their class. Some
day I'll fool you, Mrs. Limkins." And
putting on his hat, Mr.. Limkins blus-
tered out of the house leaving Mrs.
Limkins in doubt as to whether he
would, or would not, carry out her
plans. %% s d
This was just the sort of impression
Mr.. Limkins wanted to make on Mrs.
,Limkins, for from the very first mem
tion of it, ne was rather taken with
the idea of making that speech but, did
not want to appear too willing. Mr..
|Limkins belonged to a class Of men
who 20 through life with an idea that
they are born for better things. Ever