The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1900-05-16
CHATS AND SKETCH ES
About Town and Elsewhere.

Rev. DR.. Watson, better known as
"Ian Maclaren," thinks the church in
America is becoming social club, and
as evidence prints this appeal issued
by branch of the Young Mems Chris
tian Association.
"The next Social,
The next Candy-Pull.
The next Song-service.
The next Gospel meeting.
The next meeting of the Debating
club.
The next Chicken.pie Dinner.
The next date when you ought TO
make TIE Secretary happy with your
cash"
This is all very strange to DIR. Watson,
and he predicts that the time is not far
distant when the American church will
have in addition to parlors, theatre,
variety-show, a saloon, tourist
agency and other attractions to invite
the young.
But Dr. Watson has not seen the
worst. Had he investigated some of
our churches he would have found a
swimming-tank, boxing, fencing and
dancing school, and in some he would
have found billiards, cards and a gym
uasium. And had the good doctor at
tended church fair-not one of the
staid old style, where embroidery, tat
ting, silk pin cushions, eweetmeats and
other home made articles were ex-
posed for sale, and where the limit of
dissipation was reached in finding truth
and red lemonade at the bottom of
"Rebecca's Well;" but the modern
fin de steele fair, where you "take
chance" on almost everything; where
oysters are served in every style; where
you vote yourself into mendicancy for
the most popular young lady, while the
counters tell you your choice "only
lacks 100 of being even;" or had the
good doctor witnessed "kissing-bee,"
or sale of kisses at so much a kiss; or
an ankle-show at 30 much a peep, he
would have gone back to "bonnie Scot
land" a sadder and wiser man.
~.
But seriously,is not a religion which is
mixed up with athletics and ball-match-
es just little "secular?" And will at
fractions such as these bring young men
to the foot of the Cross?
Apropos of holding court on Good
Friday-(which l regret to say has
sometimes been done in VermonO-
an English chief justice once designat-
ed the next Friday as the day when
he would try certain case. But"
said the attorney, "Next Friday
will be Good Friday" ~ don't
care for that" said the Judge, 81 shall
Sit all the same" "Well, your Honor"
said the attorney, "you will do as you
please, but if you do, you'll be the first
judge who has held court on Good Fri
day since Pontius PLATED"
What is better in great disaster
than presence of mind?-Absence of
body.
A Scotch clergyman was once engag
ed to preach in country parish some
several miles away, and set out on
horseback for that purpose. Wishing
to take pinch of snuff at place where
the wind blew right ahead, he turned
his horse around, that he might do so
with his back instead of his face to-
wards the wind. Then he pocketed his
snuff-box, whipped up his horse, and
soon arrived at the place from which he
had started. Consequently the coun-
try parish had no sermon that Sun
day.
The same clergyman is credited with
another instance of absence of mind
Coming out suddenly from the gateway
at Kings College, he stumbled against
cow which CHANGED to be passing.
Raising his hat he exclaimed, 81 beg
your pardon, ma'am" A few days
afterward in Union street he stumbled
against a lady who waa walking in the
opposite direction. In sudden recol-
lection OF his former adventure, he
called out, SIS that you again you old
brute2"
-
Perhaps the most curious instance of
absence of mind is that recorded of a