The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-10-14
BY F.P. DUNE.

The troubled Mr. Hennessy had been
telling AIr. Bobley about the difficulty OF
making choice of school fer ParciSy
Hennessy, who at the age of six was at
the point where the family must decide
his career.
g It's big question:, said Mr. DooiaS'
san wan that seems to be worryin IN
people more thin it used to whin iyry
boy was designed FIR tn priesthood, with
a full undhrerstandin' be his parents
that tn chances was in favor iv a brick
yard. Nowadays they talk about th
education iv tn child befure they choose
TIL name. IT'S: TIL kid talks in his
sleep. It's TIL fine lawyer he'll make
Or, Did ye notice him admirin that pho
tygraph? He'll be a great journalist Or,
Look at him fishin in Uncle Tins
watch pocket. We must thrain him FIR
q banker Or, I'm afraid he'll niver
be sthrong enough to wurruk. He must
go into tn church. Befure he's baptized
too, d We mind. twill not be long befuce
tn time comes whin tn soggarth Il
christen tn infant; Judge Pathriciz
Aloysius Hinnissy, iv tn Northern Dis
trict iv 1linye,' or Professor p. Aloysius
HinniSsy, L. L. D., S. 7. D., P. c.. N, iv
TIL faculty iv Nothre Dame. TIL inno-
cent child in his cradle. wondherin' wbat
ais tn mist iv him an where he got
such funny loOlzn' parents firm, mas
thin to blame that brought him into III
Wurruid if he dayVilops into a sicond
shtory man befure hes twinty-wan an
is took up be tn polls. Why don't you
lade Parcky down to tn occylist an have
him fitted with a pair iv eyeglasses?
Why don't We put goloshes on him, give
him blue umbrelly an call him doctor
at wanst an be done with it. To my
mind, Hinnissy, were wastin too much
time thinlzin,z iv tn future iv our young,
an thryin' to larn thin in school what
they oughtn't to know till they've grow
ed up. We sind tn childher to school as
If twas a summer garden where they
go to be amused instead iv a pinitinchry
where they're stint FIR tn original SIM
Whin 1 was a la-ad 1 was put at me
ah-bee, abs, tn first day set fut in tn
school behind tn hedge an me head was
sore inside an out befure l whit home
Now thu first thing we larn TIL future
Mark Hannas an Jawn D. Gateses iv our
naytion is waltzin', singin' an cuttin'
pitchers out iv a book. We'd be much
betther teachin' thin tn sthrangle hold.
f'r that's what they need in life"
L know what'H happen. Yell sind
ParclIy to what tn Germans calls a
kindygartin an lis a good thing FIR Ger
what some wan tells him, an his graja-
ton papers is a certy-ficate that he
don't need TO think amy more But
we've inthrajooced it into this country,
an whin I was down seem if cud in
jooee Rafferty,, tn janitor, iv tn Isaac
Mugs Grammar school f'r to vote FIR
RIordan-and' he's gofn' to- dhropped
in on Cassidy's daughter, Mary Ellen,
an see her kindygartin TIL childher
was Settin' ar-round on tn fure, an
some was moldin' dachshunds out iv
mud, an rwipin' their hands on their
hair, an some was carvin' figures iv a
goat out, iH paste-beard, an some was
slngln an some was sleepin', an a few
was dancln, an wan la-ad was pullin'
another la-ad's hair, Why don't We take
tn coal shovel to that little barbarian,
Mary Ellen?' says L. We don't believe
In corporal punishment says she.
School shud be made pleasant FIR tn
childher, She says. TIL child who's hair
is bein' pulled is larnin' patience she
says, an tn child that's pullin tn hair
is discovrin' tn footility iv human in
deavor, says she. Well, oh, WELL says
1, times has changed since was a bov.'
1 says. Put thin through their exercis-
es, says I. Tommy says I, spell cat
says I. Go to tn divvle,' says th'
cheerful. Very smartly answered says
Mary Ellen. 'Ye shud not ask thin to
SPELL she says.
They don't larn that till they go to
colledge,' she says, an she says, some
times not even thin she says AN what
do they learn? says I
'Rompin,' she says, an dancin' she
says an independence iv speech, an
beauty songs, an sweet thoughts an
how to make home homelike,' she says.
Well says I, 4 didn't take amy iv thin
things at coHedge so We needn't unblanket
thin, I says. i won't put thin through
amy exercise, today I says. But whis-
per, Mary Ellen says I. Don't We niver
fell like bastin' tn seeraphims? TIL
teachin's iV Freebull an Pitzotly is con-
thrary to that, she says. But I'm goin'
to be marTid an lave tn school on Choos-
dab, tn tWinty-sicond iv Janooary, she
says, an on Mondah, tn twinty-frst,
I'm goin' tC ask a few iv tn little dar-
Inns to tn house an she says, stew thin
over a slow f1rse,' she says. Mary Ellen
is not German, Hinnissy.
well. afther they have larned in school
what they ARE licked FIR larnin' in tn
back yard-that is, squashin mud with
their hands-theyre conducted up
through a channel of free and bea utiful
thought till they're r-ready FIR coiiedge
Mamma packs a few doyIes an tides
into sons bag, an some silver to be
used III case " throuble with tn land
lord, an tn la-ad throts off to tn SIM
FIR high honors as a middleweight pugil-
tst he goes into tn thought department
Tn prisidint takes him into a Turkish
room, gives him cigareet an says: Me
dear boy what special branch iv Iarnin'
wud We like TO have studied FIR We be our
Compitin5 professors? We have a chair
iv Beauty an wan iv Puns an wan iv
Pothry on tn Changin' Hues iv TIL Settin'
Sun. an wan on Platonic Love an wan
on Nonsense RHYMES an wan on Sweet
thoughts, an wan on How Green Grows
tn Grass, an wan on tn Relations iv Ice
TO tn Greek Idee iv Cod he says This
is all yell need TO equip We FIR tn perfect
life, oEless, he says we intind bein' a
dintist, in which case he says, we won't
think much iv We, but we have a good
school where We can larn that disgracefi,I
Fhrade. he says An tn la-ad makes
his choice, an ivry mornin' whin he's I'D
in time he takes a Whit of hasheesh an
goes off to hear Professor Mafyanna tell
him that If tn dates iv human knoWi-
edge must be rejected as subj ictive, how
much more must they be subjected as re-
jictive If, as I think We keep our thoughts
fixed upon tn inaninity iv tn finite in
comparison with tn onthinkable truth
with tn Undivided an onimaginable real
ity. Boys, ARE we with me-?
That's at wan colledge-th' Colledga
" Speeches. Thought. Thin there's tn
Colledge iv Thoughtless Speech, where
tn la-ad is larned that tn best thing
that can happen to annywan Is to be
president ix railroad consultations TIL
head iv this colledge believes in thrainin'
young men fir tn civic ideel, Father. KEEL
ly tells me- TIL only thra,nin' 1 know
FIR tn civic ideeI is to have an alarm
clock in ye'er room on ilictlon day. He
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