davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
Haa a Past maj cline.

Bob" Palmer, the comedian, had
been originally a biilsticler, a fact
pretty generally known among his col
leagues Of the stage. One evening. when
dressed for the character OF Sir Bril-
liant Fashion, he strutted into the
greenroom with the buckles sparkling
on his shoes and fine diamond en- his
fingers. A brother actor inquired II his
gems were real. ITO be sure they are;
/ wear nothing but diamonds" was
the reply. whereupon Bannister re-
marked: Il congratulate you, Bob, for
7 remember when you wore nothing but
PASTE Palmer did not take the joke
with becoming good humor, and an an
cry alteration ensued, which was on
ly broken when Mrs. Jordan cried out:
"Why don't you stick him against the
wall, Bob? Stick him against the WALTZ
-Argonaut
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
Many Tone"
PIANOS

When you buy a piano why not get
one from which you can obtain the
tones Of many other instruments? The
GROWN" is the "Multum in Parvo''
among pianos. GROWN" costs no
more than any good single tone" pl-
ano does. GROWN" lasts twice as
long as "one tone" pianos
can. GROWN" has hundreds of
tones and effects which no
single tone" piano. OF dreary
monotony, can have. They try to make
you believe that the CROWN is COM
plicated and apt TO get out Of order
while the fact is, and is plain to any
ore who looks at It, that the GROWN
piano is perfectly simple and simply
perfect. They try to fool the people
into thinking that the devices for max.
ing many tones" injure the piano. OF
In time will injure Its piano tone. while
the very opposite Is the exact truth and
fact. The GROWN" simply because
Of It's devices for making many tones
10 warranted to. and It will. wear twice
las long as any single tone" plano can
We will show and prove this to you /.
you will only call and give us and tho
GROWN" q hearing.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

The man chosen for vice-president
OF the United States should be ON \
plane OF equality, in request to abii-
ity, reputation and character. with the
candidate for the presidency. The
original conception of the vice-presi-
dency should be restored No ~ ei' /.
Bee. '''''''
L Is evident that the jimmy of Hon
sill Goebel is in good working order
BIZ has managed to have the Consti-
tuition Of Kentucky twice declared nm
constitutional; and he is we'll aware
that II he succeeds in stealing the GOV
ernorship he can as governor pardon
himself for committing grand larceny
Memphis Appeal.
The attempt Of the anti-expansi,,n
pull-back democracy to persuade Au.eri
can people that an edict to ext.rnat,
eannibalism should be preceded bv Oh,
consent OF the governed" that is n,
the assent of the eaters rather fbar
by the protest Of those doomed ~ n,
eaten, is calculated to amuse sane ant
intelligent folk.-Portland Oregonian
Senator Beverage may be Young am
ne may be vain, but these charactaris.
tles do not Of themselves disoualif,
MIN Tor discussing the Philippine,
question. The anti-imperialist bretS
rem should bear this fact In mind II
considering the young mans spgech
ne isn't to be pooh.hooed ovf n
signt.-Boston Herald
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
A GOOD LESSON IN ADVERTISING.

A GOOD LESSON IN ADVERTISING.
A wholesaler in this city had one OF
the brightest and most impressive lee
lures on advertising read to him by n
country merchant last week that he
has ever heard In his life. This coun-
try merchant Is not one OF the ordi-
nary merchants. He is a character 81,
his way, a Hibernian, and with his fall
share OF the proverbial wit. This mer-
chant lives In a small city of the STATE
and buys the better part OF his goods
in this city He was on a buying trim.
and, passing a wholesale house. he
observed paper napkins in the win
dows. He went in to look at them. for
he had sale for such things in his
store.
An, do We have paper napkins TO
sell = he asked OF the wholesaler. He
ala have them, he said AN how the
divil do be KNOWN that ye have pa
per napkins to sell, II l don't come
down here and happen to see them in
the windy? Why don't We till a man
ye have paper napkins? Why don't We
advertise in the Commercial Bulletin ?
Thin we'd know what We had to SELF"
The merchant told him that he did ad-
ertise in the Bulletin, which was true
All, yis,' said the merchant en-
how do ye advertise? Ye put a. nut n,
yer buildin' in the paper. Now what
the divil do I be wantin' to see the
cut o. yer buildin for? | don't care for
yer old buildin'. It's what's In ver
buildin' that interests me. III We have
paper napkins, say We have paper nan
flns' and don't be a shown us "a ple-
ture OF your big store. That's the way
I'm a-goin' 70 sell these paper napl,ina
am huyin OF ye- put an advert se.
ment In me paper &C home 10 ten Inc
people OF me town tibet / have paper
napkins TO sell and the price they hav,
to pay for them, and be the powers they
come and buy thim." This Wholesaler
told me that he had more good adver-
Using sense rubbed into him in ton
minutes by this merchant than he had
found in books in the past ten wears -
Hardware Trade.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

After a long debate the Senate OF
South Carolina on Wednesday. by q
vote of more than two to one, passed
what is known as the Broad Tire"
bill Under this bill the sale Of mar
row-tired wagons is prohibited after
January. 1901, but the use Of the latter
may continue until January. 1904, when
broad tires must be used. In the mean.
time, persons who use the broad tire
are to be exempted from road duty and
communication tax. A penalty OF s. OF
SIS or thirty days Imprisonment Is
provided for violation. The argument
was effectively used. supported by the
testimony OF experts, that the public
roads sustain much less damage from
the use Of broad-tired wagons than
from those with narrow tires. 1t IS
thought the bin will pass the House and
be signed by the governor.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
An Extlnauisher.

Thump. thumpl Rattle. rattle. crash
Young Percey Stonebroke rolled
down the steps of the palatial resi-
dence Of Mr.. Goldbonds.>
Mr.. Goldbonds returned to the house.
rolling down his sleeves.
been doing?
This question came in anguished
tones from the ruby lips of Arabella
Coldbonds.
Putting out the light Of your life. %
answered papa, who had done a little
caves dropping in the hall the night
before. Baltimore American.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
Joined a Trust.

I'll never worry any more.
The clouds have cleared away;
The prospect stretches fair before,
And | am glad to-day
I'll never need to work again.
And how III sling the dust
For am in it, gentlemen.
Since fathers joined a trust.
l used to dread the "rainy day"
used to labor, too,
And father used to gruiily say
There's work for you to do"
But now Ill cast my books aside,
My idle pen may rust.
And the one / want will be my bride
For fathers Joined a trust
I'll have a yacht, I'll have a stud,
And n mansion by the sea;
The swifest SWEETEST kind OF blood
Is what I'm going TO bel
Let others dig and toll away
And worry If they must,
But l throw care away to-day,
For fathers joined a trust.
Cleveland Leader
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

There is no occasion to fear an cpl
demic Of smallpox in this city. II is
unwise to develop alarm or foster dis
turbing apprehensions among the ner-
vous and timid The authorities and
the physicians of Wilmington are al
together efficient and quite competent
&c control the malady If those who find
themselves III will promptly submit
themselves to a physician so that there
may be no risk OF the disease getting
an uncomfortable start Those in quar-
antine should carefully avoid conduct
that may contribute to the spread OF
a contagious disease. Too many are
impatient Of restraint, and through
their impotence communicate sucf
diseases to others who have no knowl.
edge OF their danger Wilmington is
not in danger, and there should be nc
smallpox scare"
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
steadfast Nature.

q have seen Brother Druggetts
grow FROM q poor man to n middle
aged millionaire" said the aged min
lister "and it has not changed him one
BIT When he first entered my church
he established the habit OF putting n
quarter in the plato every Sunday,
and, though he has since grown rich.
he puts in his 25 cents. indianapolis
Journal
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

A recent dispatch from Washington
said: William ]. Bryan arrived today,
and is comforting with the Democratic
leaders in Congress about the Demo
cratic National Convention, but insists
to newspaper men that he does not
care where 1t is to be held, nor when,
He says ne has no choice for the vice
presidential nomination and onl,
wants to see the Chicago platform re-
affirmed with the addition Of declara-
lions against trusts and imperialism,
but not against proper expansion.
OF counsel He does not take any in
terest in minor questionsl All that he
cares for is that he may dictate the
platform and name William J. Bryan
as the nominee. And who shall OBJ
iect? Who may blame him for such
reasonable moderation?
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

Every state is clearly entitled to full
representation in the United States
senate at all times. The governors
should be empowered to I'll vacancies
however created, except while the Leg
islatures are in session. II a Logisla.
ture fails to elect, the governor should
be authorized to appoint; but he should
not be permitted to appoint one who
had been a willing candidate before
the Legislature.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

Every citizen who believes in up-
holding the law and who desires the
triumph Of justice will heartily COM
mend the prompt and decisive action
Of the street and Sewer Department
in dealing with the attempted usurpa-
ton Of Sixth street by the Wilmington
City Railway Company It was impos.
sible for the Street and Sewer Direc-
tors to Ignore such fragrant violation
OF the city ordinances, and we have nc
doubt that they would have been equal
ly prompt in support Of the law had
the violators been any other corpora
ton or person. The fear that the city
will become involved in costly litiga
ton because its duly authorized agent.
are merely enforcing the plain pur'
pose Of TIE law is rather shadgwy. hul
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
A Mereiless Judue.

"HoTiblei Horriblci" he exclaimed.
What's hOrrible?' she asked.
Here's a story Of a man with five
wives" he explained.
Il should say it was horrible she
asserted.
And when he was arraigned in
court all five were there" he went on.
And what did The Judge do to
him?" she asked.
Abandoned him TO his fate" he an.
swered. He discharged him. Oh
isn't IL horribleg=Chicago Evening
Post
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
SAYS THE MIDDLETOWN TRAN
SCRIpT.

Certainly it IS desirable that repub-
leans who, through political bondage
Of forty years, finally gave Delaware a
new Constitution. and q degree OF po-
litlcal freedom should rule. Republi-
cans should elect all the state and
county officers If Kent is republican
without money, and a majority Of all
local officers. but must Mr. Addicks
sad his hired politicians be accepted as
political masters TO accomplish IL? Mr..
Addicks with his Farlows, Kings and
Clarks would be political dictators. Re
publicans, can we afford it?
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
Death Of Romance.

'"These sky-scraping flats have
knocked the stuhing out of romance"
said the young man.
Yes said the other young man,
they have. Fancy serenading a girl
who lived in the fifth story with a
brass band and megaphonel"-In-
dianapolis Journal.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
Then He Quit.

Or. Emily Blackwell, one OF the plo-
neers OF her sex in medicine, heard a
young physician deliver a fierce dia-
tribe against opening the doors OF the
profession to women. When he ceased
she asked: "Wil you please tell me
one reason why they should not prac-
tice medicine?" Certainly, madam
they haven't the muscle. the Drawn
the physical strength" II see. sir your
conception Of a sick-room is a slaugh-
ter-hOuse: mine is not."-Argonaut.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
rhen she called the Doc.

Miss Sourface Ito tramp Did you
ever have a romance in your life?
rramp-Yes, mum; / had q sweet
heart oncet dat looked like you.
Miss Sourface (setting out another
piece of pie)--And did she die?
Tramp-No, mum. Me ladder want.
me to marry her, so / ran away from
home.-Baltimore American.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
ExnerIenoe va. ArIthmetle.

Teacher-Johnny may stand up 70 re-
cite. Now, Johnny, suppose I borrow
s. n week, how long win ii be before
he gets his money?
Johnny-Just one week.
Teacher-Oh. think again; that's not
right.
Johnny-Yes, it IS. I know my IA
Their He'd have you up in the Courts
by that time.-New York World.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

Dads been runnin' fer Office ten
years steady" he said, "but the other
day he lost his way an run against
home, breakin' his head in a sorter
head-on collision, an the family hauled
him in an shook hans with him, and
nanny put ON her specs an hollered:
Goodness graciousl how you has
changed ATLANTA Constitution.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

Scorcher-IIow would you punctu-
ate Look at that pretty girl in her
automobile come spinning down the
avenue?"
Pltter-That's easy; comma after
pretty cir" and after automobile.
Scorcher-I would rather make a
dash after that pretty girl. Auto
mobile Magazine.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

The Wilmington Democrat prints a
letter from Senator Kenney in which
he states that his vote upon the Quay
matter in the Senate will be based
upon his construction of the Constitu
ton. The Democrat is authority fol
the conclusion that that means vot'
adverse to Mr.. Quay.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

Familiarity doesn't always breed
contempt. There is a familiarity be
tween merchants and their customers
which breeds confidence and brings
profits to the former The recriproca
feeling is engendered and promoted b,
careful and continuous advertising
When a merchants name has become
household word his success in business
is assured.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
Stretched Hemp.

Tenderfook-Ard you say the man
they are burying yonder was not sick
long?
Lariat Luke--None.
Tenderfoot-What cased his death
Larlat I.uke-Waal, y see. stranger
before he wuz a corpse he borry'd
anuther mans boss 'ithout astin fer
It. We fellers overtuk i'm an
Tenderfoot---Was he frightened?
Lariat Luke-Skeerdes man ! uver
seen-th' suspense killed 'im.-Ohio
State Journal.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
oUTfoF SEASON. ~
Yet II rs Rather Funny and From De-
trc,it

Tine coIored domestic sat on tho
back step peeling peaches the other
day, says the Detroit Free Press.
The colored coachman approached,
sat down on the bottom step and
watched her. She had only recently
arrived from the south and the peach
was 4 new sort Of fruit to her.
How you laks peacheses?" asked
her companion.
"Ah flnks dem bees fine" she an
swered, but dem seeds does scratch
in pusson's trout pow'ful bad"
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

We expect 70 see Every Evening
come out THIS afternoon with every
column set in double-leaded longprImei
and Tagal flags in phalanx across
every page, The Filipinos ambushet
small American detachment. defeat
ed It, killed two, wounded Ave, scat
tered the others and dispersed the sup
ply train it escorted All Of this vii
be very gratifying to Every Eveninl
and the other American Tagals.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
CONDITION 1MpRov1NG

The condition OF Mrs. Addle F., wife
of DR.. ID. l. McColley who is suffering
from a mild attack Of smallpox, is re-
ported by the physicians to be slightly
better today. The other sufferers are
improving and no new cases have been
recorded at the Board OF Health Office
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
After.Dinner Chat.

"Well, said Hungry Higgins. here
is the first good thing l ever read
about them college dudes"
''Wot is IT." asked Weary Watkins,
with little interest.
rush--no. It amt. either. It's cane
rush. There was bit of gravy cover
ing up the e."
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

Overheard in the Garden Of Eden
Adam--Where's your mother? I'm get
ting tired of waiting for my supper
Little Cain-She went out about four
hours ago. and said there was a bar
gain sale az the fig-leaf counter
Philadelphia Record.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

sYen II, the, municipality should be re-
ouired to spend some money to main
tain the rights OF the people and up
hold its own dignity, no man Of sense
and spirit would begrudge the price,
though It were a thousand times more
than It is likely to be."-Sunday Star.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

How mushl II you sharge [ kite Us
uptown to our happy, happy homesh?'
the man who was being leaned on by
his two weary friends asked the night
liner.
Fifty centsa load" replied the night
liner. sizing up the three jays. and the
bargain was made.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
Price Of Affection.

The Mother-"I am sure you would
learn to love my children
Nurse-"What wages do you pay?"
The Eighteen pounds n
year"
NURSE am afraid, ma'am, could
only be affectionate with them at that
price. "-Glasgow Evening Citizen.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

The ostrich is said to be equipped
with remarkable digestive apparatuz
Possibly Mr.. Bryan contemplates using
the bird in connection with the Chicago
tiatfefrn. ~Awashinzton Post.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

Winter Visitor lin Florida) -"I should
love dearly TO go sailing, but 1t looks
dangerous. Do not people often get
drowned In this bay?"
Waterman-"No, indeed. mum. The
sharks never let's anybody drown
New York Weekly
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

II understand that many Ct the
volunteers In the Philippine Islands are
getting married." said Cawller.
TT would not be strange If some
marriages followed so many engage
ments.' added Cumso.--Detroit Free
prp1o
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

The rest Of the peope Of Massachu-
sets are just as much in love with lib
erty as Senator Hoar, but they do not
approve OF the Atldnsonian brand Of
the article. --sptIne1eid vnioh
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
An Enjoyable Tramp.

Mildred (from Phladelphia) You
don't seem to like Evelyn.
Penelope (fro.u Boston, She
shows such a lack of proper culture.
This morning she says she was going
to take tramp up the mountain.
Mildred-Wel?
Penelope-Do you not think she
might choose as her escort one whose
social status is more In keeping with
her own?-Ne'g York Press.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

"Have you noticed nearly every va
riety show nowadays has a female
baritone? They didn't have 'em when
you and l We're boys"
Yes have noticed it. and, between
YOU and me. think it is a sign that
woman suffrage is coming apace with
gigantic strides. Indianapolis Jour
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

THE Mohssnmedan religion" said
the Sweet Young Thing, with pur-
pose OF starting something, says
every man shall have four wives
We'll, retorted the Savage Bache-
lor, what Of It Did you ever know
OF a religion from which the idea OF
repentance was absent'-lndianapolis
Journal.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

II there is another state in the Union
paying off it's bonded debt as rapidly
as Indiana the Journal would be
pleased to give the proper credit.-In-
dianApoiis Journal
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
Automobile Talk.

''TIe has a great faculty for putting
the cart before the horse"
ooh, I wouldn't say that. Say he
has habit of trying to make the
wheels run the motor."-Automobile
Magazlne
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
RETuRNEp To pELAWARE.

John o. Mahan returned TO Delaware
yesterday after an absence of fourteen
years In Wyoming, where he mas
charge OF a cattle ranch Mr. Mahan
was born near Collins Beach, and Is
on his way TO visit his father at Sud
lersville. Md
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

"Oh. don't despairl If your wife
has run away with your friend, can't
you forget hcr2'
Yes, ! can do that. but my poor
friend--to think what he's got to en-
dure!" -Heiterc Welt.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
Wei Recommended.

He So Miss Prettyface really mar
ried old Moneybagsl Whatever in
duced her to do Il?
She-She found out from his doctor
that he positively has incurable heart
disense-NeW York World.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

Tommy Paw. who was it said the
voice Of the people is the voice OF
Cod?"
Mr. Figg-'Ive forgotten now, but
IN bet he didn't say it just after get
ting defeated at the polls. "-1ndian-
apolis Journal
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
Couldn't BE Disputed.

Hoax-There goes a woman whose
husband has had one foot in the grave
for many years.
Joax-Why. 1 thought he was dead.
Eoax-so he is, but he was one
legged man.-PhiIadelphia Record.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
A LeIsure cIass ornament.

what petted afr your cat has.
Mrs. Simmer"
Yes; she used 30 catch mice-think
OF 81 y 1t we've fed her so well that
she quit. Indianapolis Journal.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22

II have an invention which will rev.
.olutionize tho world" said the boaster.
There ought to be a great demand for
something like that in Central and
South America" replied the matter
of-faci n-Plttsburg Chronicle-Tel-
ccraph
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
Lloht on the Subject.

Have you any nice light bread
asked a prospective customer in 4
bake shop.
"Yes'm," replied the new boy; we
have some nice pound loave9 that
weigh only ten ounces. Chicago
News.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
MARRIED. An sTANToN.

George Herdman, of Norrlstown, and
Miss Clara Smith, of Stanton, were
married on Wednesday last at Stan
ton by Rev. Mr. Hardy. Mr. and Mrs
Herdman will live at Norristown.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
A Sure cure.

Doctor-rm afraid your wife isn't
going to pull through.
Husband-Oh, yes, she will. told
her / alreadyhad her successor picked
out in case she didn't get well.-Chi-
cagO News
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
CAPTAIN CLEAvrR sFRTOUs-

Captain George A. Cleaver. one of
the victims of the Delaware City steam
yacht explosion. Is again in a serious
condition. He passed a restless night
The other patients are recovering
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
Didn't suit Her.

Mrs Neighbors-I understand your
cook has given you notice. What's
the trouble?
Mrs. Suburban. don't know; but
l think she doesn't like my cooking.
Chicago News.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1900-01-22
n. Canned phIIosopher

TOO often" said the Corn-fed Phil
osopher. "the joyous flush OF youth
runs up against four Of kind before
1t has time TO appreciate itself. IN
dianapOlis Journal