The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-10-14
SMART SHORT STORIES.


Once, after exposing the ridiculous
blunders of the editor Of certain old
plays, James Russell Lowell conc uded
with the remark, I'm point of fact, we
must apply to this gentleman the name
of the first king of Sparta" No one re-
membered, of course, what this was, but
when they looked 1t up they found it
was Eudamidas.
A lady of literary fame once requested
DIR. Reid, the celebrated medical writer,
to call at her house. BE sure you rec
ollect the address, she said as she
quilted the room, mo. Chesterfield
street, Madam said the doctor, II
| am too great an admirer of politeness not
to remember Chesterfield, and, fear, too
selfish ever to forget Number One"
At a luncheon given him by some stran--
gers in an English town, where he was
lecturing the other day, Israel Zangwill
was treated as a famous celebrity, and
his most Indifferent remark was received
with great interest. After luncheon his
hostess asked him to write something
in her little boys diary, 50 tthat the
little man might always remember the
day he saw the great writer. Mr.. Gang
will turned over the leaves of the diary,
reading here and there: Got a reward
of merit HAD a birthday party
L
Notwithstanding
FRINGE Bismarck and Bancroft, the
historian, at one-tiIne minister to the
court of Berlin, were one day dining
with Herr Won der Heydt, who prided
himself on the quantity and quality of
the food which he furnished to his
guests. In those days QS6S) Bismarck
was still in possession of his wonderful
10 Pan q first al b.
came at last anxious on seeing his friend
twice partake largely of the first two
courses. Dear count" he remarked
with world of anxiety in his voice, Il
believe there is more to come. Il
should hope So" remarked Bismarck,
joyfully; and renewed his terrifying
practice at the next course.
De Wet, the elusive Boer commander,
has got to the penny-puzzle stage of
popularity in England. Says an Ameri-
can, who purchased one of these puZ-
z.e'' cards from an itinerant vendor: 'On
it was an outline of the territory lately
ruled by Mr. Kruger, with the wording:
This is the Transvaal; find De Wet 1
turned the card about, but could discov-
er no outline suggestive of the eel-like
Boer general. Then 1 applied to the
vendor for inforna ton. With grin he
answered: Yer can't find De Wet,
guv'Ror? No more can anybody else
find i'm. E amt there; 'e's sloped, as
per usual. Now, amt the sell worth
bloomin penny?''
AT dinner party a young man was
once talking rather foolishly about Ear
win and his books, speaking very con-
temptuoEsly of them, and he said to the
bishop CT Winchester CNilberforce1:
My lord, have you read Darwin's last
book on the Descent of Man?' Yes, l
have, said the bishop; wi1ereupon the
young man continued: What nonsense
it is, talking of our being descended from
apes. Besides, I can't see the use of
such stuff. I can't see. what difference 1t
would make to me if my grandfather
was an ape No the bishop replied !
81 don't see that it would; but it must |
have made an amazing difference to your
grandmother The young man had no
more to say.
During Lincoln's second presidential
campaign. John J. Janney, of Columbus |
O., went TO see the president at Washing |
ton. In the course of their conversation |
Lincoln said: You are going to defeat |
Sammy out in your district this time.
aren't your referring to Democratic
candidate for congress in Ohio. IT
understand that Sammy is a great friend
OF mlhe-JuSt as warm a friend as / have |
He reminds me of hog that old Sam !
Brown had. 1t got out and was gone for
some time Sam could see where it had
been roofing along the creek, and, he said
one morning to one of his sons that the
boy was to go along one side of the creek
and Brown himself would go along the |
other, for ] think said he, that the
hog is on both sides of the creek
Three Stockton girls were taking srip
on their wheels the other evening, and, !