davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
Farmers Discovery.

Ever since last September Eugene
DoOlittIe. n farmer living at Rock wells
Mills, in this county, has been driving
about in a wagon with $1,000 under tIe
seat cushions, says correspondent AZ
Norwich, y. Y.
The wagon il a twO-seated one, and
Mr.. DOOlittle was giving it thorough
cleaning, preparatory to taking his
family for drive. As be took up the
cushions on the back seat he saw =
long wallet under them Il contained
a ten-doIlar gold piece and $1,000 in
securities
The name of the owner was on =
card in the pocketbOOk, and the honest
farmer returned the property immedi-
ately. 1t had probably been stolen by
a piekpoeket at the county fair in
Norwich in September, and hidden
under the cushions
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
Boy Railroad Naguats.

The election Of q boy y years Of age
as vice president Of railroad at sal
AIRY OF 5000 is the somewhat curious
commercial development reported from
Atlanta, Ga, says the New York Com
mereial. The youthful railroad mag
nate is Cornelius J. Simmons, Jr-,
whose father is president Of the Collins
Park and Belt Line Railroad, trolley
line The boy was nominated for the
place by his fond father, and his cleo
ton followed by a unanimous vote.
The inference is that the elder Sim
mons owns the railroad, and, being the
whole thing, could elect an infant at
the breast as vice president, secretary
or treasurer, II he 50 desired. But in
asmueh rs almost any old kind Of =
railroad has certain responsibilities to
the public, il would seem that this
family business might very well stop
somewhere near the cradle. We have
the theory of ''divihe right applied to
beings, but that doesn't exactly mean
trOily kings.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
Thought he Was at Home.

II want a marriage license be said
to she clerk, boldly.
His name and her name and both
their ages were asked He gave them
to the clerk in a loud, winter-weather
voice and lOOkei around the room to
see how much attention he had attract
ed.
How much - be asked.
The price Of the BIT Of paper was
given 10 him
He took il in his hand He looked
it over Thea he asked, Where's the
eoup0n? ?f
What coupon - queried the clerk,
wonderingiy.
'Fhe divorce coupon, answered the
m4n-
The clerk gasped. "The idear' ne
exclaimed ~Who ever heard ofsueh
a thing Say, Mister, where are you
from?n
Dakota
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
wOman's Century.

In 1900 women were not permitted
in any country to control their property
nor will it away at death ; 10 all in
tents and purposes they did not own
it, says the Pittsburg Post. The legal
existence of the wife was 50 merged in
that Of her husband that she was said
to be 'sdesss in law Not only did he
control her property, collect and use
her wages, select the food and clothing
for herself aud children, but to a very
large extent he controlled her freedom
Of thought, speech and action" II
she disagreed with him, or in any way
offended him, be possessed the legal
right, upheld by public opinion, to
punish her, the courts interfering only
when the ehastisement exceeded the
popular idea OF severity. All posses
sioEs passed into the hands Of the hus-
band at marriage. If II married wom-
an worked for wages she could not
legally collect them, as they belonged
to her husband. She could not make
a will, sue or be sued
Few occupations beyond domestic
service were open to women No col
lege In the world admitted women,
and the belief WAS universal that she
was not capable Of the highest
branches Of learning. Public schools
were in many places closed to women.
Elementary branches Of education
the three R's-were deemed aIl-suffi-
eisnt for her. They were forbidden to
speak or pray in the churches. The
general trend of masculine thought
was that it was unwomanly she should
hold or advance opinions on serious
questions, or seek independence
through natural or acquired gifts.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
The English Gruntins Habit.

An observant philosopher, who has
lately been devoting considerable at
tention to the study Of modern man
ners, has been much struck with the
habit Of grunting and pseudO-coughing
which is growing among both sexes
and threatens to become a public nni-
sanee wherever two or three men or
women are gathered together When
nobody has anything TO say some one
begins an aft, eted cough, which is
merely the indication Of a mind with
nothing in it, or makes a guttersl
grunt, 10 prove that its author is still
alive.
The correspondent continues "If
people do not exercise q little self
restraint and check this pernicious
habit We shall soon be called nstion
Of snorters and grunters. On Sunday
last was at church, and Immediately
behind me sat q woman with her
young children, and during the ser
mon, TO which / was listening intentiy,
my thoughts were distracted by the
woman behind me constantly grunting
possibly the doctrine hit her too
hard Her children followed suit
When asked On the way home why
they grunted, the elder Of the young
sters replied, Mummy grunts, 50 do /. ,
Recently 1 was travelling in a first
class railway carriage with five other
men, The one in the far corner back
seat set up his peculiar grunt, the man
opposite followed, then the man next
to me in the centre, aud then the man
opposite him, and then the man op-
pOsite me, and they al seemed 10 take
il up again in their turn, and to think,
much more to read, was out Of the
question, and I felt inclined to jump
out Of the carriage, bat as We were in
a Southwestern, which is famous for
the pace it travels, this was quite out
Of the question, and 1 had TO endure
the persecution until the first stoppage,
when 1 left the occupants to grunt at
each other to their hearts content -
London Telegraph.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
A Lawyer on Great Fortunes.

From the Philade'phia North American.
President Logan, Of the State Bar
Association Of New York, advocates
the placing Of Limitation upon inner
itaDee. "a great deal, y he says, "cauld
be done for the ameliOration Of social
conditions, the betterment of the masses
Of the people, and the enhancement Of
civilization with the money which
would come into the treasury if the
State were the heir Of the surplus of
every mans fortune above SO, ,O0O, COO"
There are several objections to this
scheme. One is that the learned and
communistie Mr.. Logan begins at the
wrong end. If large fortunes are hurt
ful TO the community, prevention is to
be preferred to eonfiseation, both on the
ground Of morality and Of practicable
ity. Perhaps Mr.. Logan regards Mr..
Roekefeller's colossal pile with special
disfavOr. Would it not be better to de-
prive the Standard Oil company Of the
monopoly which it maintains, largely
through criminal collision with rail-
roads that grant special privileges, than
To take for the State all above $1,000
0O0 OF Mr.. ROckefeller's pile when he
dies? Wherever a great fortune is the
result OF monopoly the cure for it is to
strike al the root, not at the fruit.
Mr.. Logan may be an able lawyer,
but he surely is not gentleman en-
dO~sd with capacity for thinking. The
law which he iInagines would ill the
treasury and abate great fortunes would
merely induce the pOssessOrs Of the for
tunes to evade the confiscating tax by
disposing Of their wealth to their heirs,
or otherwise, before death The Astors
and Nanderbilts would not be stopped
by such statute, any more than they
are by the constitutional inhibition Of
primogeniture and entail, from eonsti-
tuting the eldest son the representative
of the family and the custodian Of the
bulk Of the family wealth from genera
ton to generation
50 long as social conditions remain as
they are we shall have gigantic for
tunes. And since the people have the
power at the ballot-bOx to alter these
conditions at will, it Is to be presumed
that the people prefer them TO continue
rather than TO try the plans Of the so
cialists, the singIe-taxers, and other re-
formers who aim at making excessive
accumulation by the few impossible.
Mr.. Logan's plan eontempIates rob
berry, sim ply.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
The Old Man Had Changed.

A Lancaster county man once came
to Philadelphia portrait painter with
a request that he pAiat picture Of his
father.
avery we'll" said the artist; shave
the old gentleman come in the next
time he comes to town, and viii give
him a sitting"
The man replied: "Hs CANT DO dot
be is dait.D
"Oh. well, then, you have a photo
graph Of him."
''NO; 1 dou't got no f5ttograf of him
elder
"WeIl, how do you expect me to
paint the portrait Of your father when
1 cannot see him and have nothing to
give me an idea OF his appearance? ~
"VeIl," be replied, II dinked maybe
Of dOlE you about him you can baint
him from dot.H
"AIl right" said the artist, describe
him.
'sveII, my fadder was not 50 daIl
und not 50 short; he vas not fat und
not so din" And 50 the honest fellow
proceeded to describe his father as he
recalled him.
The artist undertook to paint the
picture, and ia due course il was COM
pleted and the Lancaster county man
comes in to view the results of the
artists efforts.
As the canvas is disclosed he gazes
long and reverently upon the picture
OF bis departed parent Then ne feel
ingiy remarks:
Yah, d)s is mine fadderl Mine fad
der vat lOaGed 80 much But ach
himmzl fadder, how you haf changed"
-PniladeIphia Times.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
Constitutional.

nice lot Of citizens we are getting
in these new islands," hOwled the
anti-expansionist.
What's the matter now?'' asked
the optimist-
Here / see the Sultan Of SulU has
been on a drunk and fiogged three Of
his wives almost to DEATH
THAT just shows he is taking kindly
to American institutions"
why, how do you make that cut ~
asked the anti-expsnsiouist-
Don't you know that it is one Of
the fundamental principles Of this
country that king full always beats
three queens."-IndianapOlis Journal
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
LIGHTS FOR BIRDS NESTS.
some Curious Habits Pracsfeed In
the World OF son<dona-

some Curious Habits Prscsieed In
the World OF on<dora-
Many birds suspend their nests from
the branches Of trees. one % the most
curious nests % that Sind being thar
OF the baya bird Of India IL IS hung
from the branch. with its opening at
the bottom. and hangs Ike an diverted
bottle. secure from the approach Oc
tree snakes and other reptiles. The
most curio-s thing about the bayt
bird IS ihs il Is said to light Up its
nest b. sticking freales 0n It's sides
with clay or soft mud There seems 70
be little doubt 0f the fact
Or. Buchanan says ~At night each
OF the habitatious IS Iightel uD by
fredy stuck in the top with piece Of
clay The nest consists Of rwo ruOEls-
Sometimes there are three or fJur Gg''-
f,es. and their blaze in the little cells
GazZIes tie eyes Of the bats. which or
ten destroy the young o. these birds
Perhaps other animals are scared OF
~ the baya birds electric light since
a writer 70 Nature records this curl
Gus O., ol,seryation. Il have been Informed
Ca safe authority that the Indian bot
tie bird protects k.s Eest st night BY
stickiaG several of these glow beetles
around the enuaEce By means Of clay.
and only a few dIys b1c.z an intimate
friend Of my own vas watching three
rats on 2 roof rafrer OF h.s bungalow
When a glow Is lodged very close 10
them the rats Immediately scGmpered
OfT-~-Cur Dumb Animals.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
Pointed Paragraphs.

The art of making work pay is .
work Of art.
The seIfmade man always venerates
his creator.
Perfect men belong to an order Of
things not yet in effect
Oil and water will not mix Neither
will love and philosophy.
When the landlord raises the rent
the tenant must raise it also or get out.
photographers think favorabIy of
changing the word politician to pulliti-
elan.
The unexpected happens occasional
ly, bat not 50 often as the expected fails
70 happen.
Tue man who is the architect Of his
own character often puts up job no
other man will take off his hands.
Even the engagement ring is the out
come of trust, and the wedding ring
is the natural result Of q combination.
Time may be money, but the aver
age man would rather give you lot OF
his time than lead you little Of his
money.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
UP HEAD ON A RLuNnER.
Err~@eoas Answer vtas CoE7enza-
tier Frosn a I...aIn Teaeher.

Erruaeous Answer Wtns Conr nenda-
tIeH FROM latin Teacher.
The class IN Latin wiz now recife.-
said the Latin teacher AZ one of the
city high schools thu other day
The members a the class IN Latin.
consisting OF 50 OF more bright looking
girls. with three or four boys. came
forward and took their places Al
InOTed along smoothly until the dec
iinati1n Of the noun -d0num" was II
order. and there was trouble. Il was
the abIatiye that caused the trouble
For the benefit Of those not acquainted
with the mysteries Of Latin Il may b
mentioned right here that the ablacive
Is ''dono." and the pronunciation IS the
same as II one should say don't
know sIurring the two words. as Is 50
frequently done. TO ~SOn' know"
Miss Jones" said the teacher TO
the head OF the class. what Is the
ablative OF .donum?"
Miss Jones gave her version and
was told to sit down The question IN
turn went down the entire length OF
the class. all falling. until It reached
t-Ae A1st- q Joy " 10 Aaa t@A-e@eloA
for Baseball and football. but ncne Tor
scholarship.
Well Percy. the ahlative OF do
numg f." asked the teacher.
Percy scratched his head and despair
lngiy looked At his grinuias class
mates
Don know" he finally blurred out
Right" said the teacher; ~gc up
head"
And then the class broke out into a
laugh thar cost each member ten
marks. bur none peached on Percy.
and the teacher To this day cannot IN
derssand what there Is so comical in
the ablative OF ''douum- m-"-Chicagc In
ter Ocean
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31

warmth Of his eIoquenee. Then she
confessed that she was tired
1T IS 80 long that I have had to take
care Of other folks, and il viii seem
ike heaven to have some one to take
care Of me-"
So it happened that in a little less
than a year the letter to Mrs. Luther
Wilkins IVES given to its rightful owner.
Circumstances over which I bad no
control have prevented you from get
ting il before, Luther said.
"Why, it's nothing but an advertise
ment Of some new preparation OF eere-
ais" she said. when she opened it.
Lsther looked blank.
Il see how it is" she said, after
moments thought. They sent to the
grocers for lists of their customers, and
then sent these circulars TO their wives. .
Let's keep it, said Luther, softly.
"If it hadn't been for that
Yes, we'll keep it, said Letitia,
bIushing.-Sgsan Brown Robbins in
Boston Globe.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
Golf Dialect

In the woman's golf championship
games in Philadelphia this week We
are told that "Mrs. Fox sclaffed her
brassey second, the bali rolling down
the hill to a bad lie.n And then we
are informed that her opponent 'aP-
preached dead on the like, hut misers-
bic putting oy Miss Hoyt resulted 10 a
haIved hole 70 :. They drove well
from the fifteenth tee and were on the
edge Of the green on their thirds Miss
HOyt was stymied on her putt and
Mrs Fox won the hole, making the
latter dormie g." And yet there are
persons in this country who strenuous
Iy object to the dialect story, but who
eOunIenanee the evsr-grOwing popI-
larity Of gOlE-Lewiston JournaI.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
Hugging a Stove

The young man h-d taken off bis
at and hung b. nat carefully on the
hall rack Coming into the parlOr, he
went 10 the fire aud held his hands out
to warm them The girl waited for
him 70 speak, but it was evident that
he was bashful young man, and
knew not how TO begin the converse
ton, Finally he said:
1T was very, very cold last night. /
stayed at home and hugged the stove
all the evening"
The girl turned her great, brown eyes
toward him, and said, with just tinge
Of ait in Der voice:
'.I dOn't see any Use in hugging 3
stove "
Il didn't require house 10 fall on
the young man, even If he was BASH
full, and ne promptly resolved not to
hug any more estoves--Bsltimore News.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
st the Far.

A hush falls upon the court
DO you know the prisoner at the
barr asks the counsel.
when I've got the price I know ev-
erybody At the bar" protests the Colo
nei, from the witness stand, with dig
nifty.
The Colonel. understand, employs
the Kentucky dialect OF fiction, which
be has learned to speak with consider
able fiueuey.-Detroit Journal.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
ACandid Child

1 went to see a woman the day before
yesterday who has small daughter.
My soul loves that child. She WAS in
the room when I came in, and her
mother endeavOred by coax and bribe
and covert threat 10 induce her %
speak TO me. Tae child paid not the
slightest attention, bat went on hap
PLY looking at the pictures in her
picture book The mother gave Up in
despair.
Pm 50 sorry she wOn'tspsak 70 peO-
pie" she said with a sigh, "but, you
know, she's 50 shy"
The child looked up with candid
sweetness that went straight to my
heart.
II amt shy" said she, eheerfully,
I'm rude. .D-WashingtOn Post
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
Having a Great Run on Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy.

Manager Martin, Of the Pierson drug
store, Informs Us that he is having =
geat run on ChamberIain's Cough
Remedy. He sells iive bottles of that
medicine to one Of any other kind, and
it gives grea: satisfaction. In these
days OF IA grippe there is nothing like
Chamberiain's Cough Remedy to stop
the cough, heal up the sore throat and
lungs and give relief within a very
short time The sales are growing,
and all who try it are pleased with its
prompt aetion--South Chicago Daily
Calumet For sale By all druggists
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31

The brilliant young preacher. when
he makes bis parochial calls. endeav-
ors to cultivate an acquaintance with
the development OF the younger minds.
thus after 9 fashion keeping tab upon
his Sunday school teachers.
TIE other afternoon. while he was
waiting IN the drawing room OF q beau
tiful Cass avenue residence for the de-
layed appearance OF Elsie's mamme-
Ee WAS entertained by the little dau-N
ter herself Taking her upon his laJ.
he began a review Of the church les
sons that had been given 10 the little
maid Of ).
.Can you tell me. Elsie. how many
commandments there areE
Yes. sir. seven or eight"
~Oh. no. dear there are ten
Yes. / know there used 70 be. but
heard papa tell mamma yesterday that
you bad 6roseu two or three Of the-a
at least. and that would leave Oc-y
seven or eight. you n0w-"-DetrUir
Free Press
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31

Il had nervOus prostratioU: don't be-
lieve any one ever had it worse and
lived. WhseIer's Nerve Vi;aIizer lifted
lie out Ct bed and PIT me ca my feet.
I never saw or besrj of Is EQUAL. p -
writss Thomas C4shore, Nspolsor,
Mich.
A L TerryI, Deversaux, Mich,
writes: '.Branrs Baisam cured my vie
Of chronic Asthma" Warranted 70
cure everybody-25 cents f.sr sals ~
Garman's Drug Store, Berlin, Pa, and
Mountain & sons Drug Store, Con-
faenee, Pa
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31

Says the Portland OFegonie-=s... II 5
the belief Of ssEzss historians that tie
name Oregon Is Arag0n in disguise.
that II was given to this country BY
tie early Spanish voyasers AID that
American explorers - Interpreted the
word given them by the Indians The
theory is 1T leasJ plausible and indi-
Gates a strange freak Of fate The
nar.e Spain proudly brought 10 this
distant coast returned 70 the West In
dies SEQ years later 10 destroy tie
power OF spain on the seas. Little
thought De F'uca when he sighted this
coast in 1872 tlat some day il would
build warship which Under the name
OF A-a@ou. or Oregon. would be fore
most in the battle that marked the end
Of S2alH's dominion IN the new world
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31

To accommodate those who are par
tiAl to the use Of atouizers in applying
liquids into the nasal passages for ca
tarrhsl troubles, the proprietors pre-
pare Ely's Liquid Cream Balm. Price
including the spraying tube is . cents
Druggists or By mail The liquid en-
bodies the medicinal properties Of the
solid preparation. Cream Balm is
quickly absorbed by the membrane
and does not dry up the seeretions but
changes them 70 natural and healthy
character. Ely Bvoshers, So Warren
-, y. Y
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
Pacnlinritr ID -.

A snake tanner who had tained
serpent To follow bin around the house
aad even out Of doovs happened enc
day TO take il with him TO 4 strange
place. The snake. unused 70 the local
ity. suddenly seemed 20 forget al his
training and escaping into the bushes,
resisted capture with bites and every
Indication Cf wildness. When caught
Il q once resumed its tame habits
This tendency to become wild im1le-
6l..eIy upon obtaining their freedom
R-1 % again become tame when caught
Is said 10 be a pecuIlarity OF s-akes.-
New York Tribune
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31

Constable Shinkel was uioeiy bluffed
by South Chester politician, whom
he proposed to eviet from q house to
make room for another tenant. Shink-
eI met the msa at the door. aud was
about to enter, when the tenant told
him that on account of case Of scarlet
fever in the house he could not be al
lowed in.
Shinkel backed of. but later met the
doctor supposed 70 have charge Of the
case and asked him about it. Then he
learned that the tenant had put up
bold bluff He returned to the house
~ mad a. hornet and carried out the
eviction proceedings
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31

1 want to Ie; the people who suffer
from rheamatisn aud seistios know
that Chamberiain's Pain Balm relieved
me after number Of other medicines
and doctor had failed Ii is the best
liuiment have ever known Old. A.
Doggen, Alpharetta. Ga Thousands
have been cured Of rheumatism BY this
remedy. One application relieves the
pain. For sale by all druggists.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
IN the Smart Set

Mrs JOues-If the clergyman hesi-
tatsd, why didn't yoa get civE mag
issrate 70 marry yoa?
Mrs. BroER-Oh, I eould't think OF
it. rs bad enough for person Of
deeply religious nature 10 have to be
divorced by a magistrate. to say moth
ingof being married by Que
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31
He Mistakes the Efses for the
Cause

That is what the person does who
tries to cure rheumatism or any other
disease by relieving the symptoms
Hoods Sarsaparilla attacks the cause
of these diseases. II neutralizes the
acid in the blood and thus permanent
" cures rheumatism. II tones and
strengthens the stomach, restores its
natural digesting fluids and permanent
ly cures dyspepsia
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31

The Clergyman (prOuIlyl-PeO9le are
Ioath 10 leave my church Why. seter
services. It is fcEy l. minutes before
the edIace IS eEpLied,
The Sinner don't uo-s'er at c-ct-
so-e Paople are vc-y S=-,l 70 Cs..-. .----l
-3-coElyu LIE.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31

Boston IS noted for her crooked
streets" said the Chicago man.
Great Scott p retOrted his Hub
eaasin, who had been held up three
times, ''thsre are more crooked streets
in Chicago than Boston ever dreamed
Off
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31

Have you a fine Law practice, Crib
leyT'
II should say 50. Ifit were much
finer there wouIdn'I be anything left Of
ir.n
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-31

FTisn't safe to Be a day without DR..
Thomas Eeleetrie Oh in the haus-.
Never can tell what moment an aeei-
dent IS going to happen.