The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-01-28

WELL niver mind" Mr.. Dooley contin-
ued. "hes a citizen Nv England an he has
a castle that's as big as a hotel. on'y no
body goes there EXCEPT thin that's asst. an
not all of those. an he owns a newspaper.
an tn editor Nv it's III Prince iv Wales,
an tn rayporthers is all jocks an tn
Archbishop iv Canterbury runs tn ilivator.
an Slug wan ia tn printin Office is tn
Impror iv Germany in disgeese lis pa-a-
per I'd like to see. Ia like TO know how
tn Jock of Marlbro'd do tn McGovern
fight. An some day willum Waldorf AS
torn be able to wor-ruk TT his Own
pa-aper. fr he's going to be a earl or a
markess or jock or somethin' gran. Ye
can't be amy Nv these things without
money, Hinnissy. an he has slathers Nv it,"
Where does he git it?" demanded Mr..
Hennessy.
Firm this counthry," said Mr.. Dooley.
81 shud think" Mr.. Hennessy protested
stoutly. eff he's ashamed iv this country
he wudden't want to take money firm IL.
That's where ye're wrong" Mr.. Dooley
replied. 'sTake money anywhere we find
it. I'd take money firm England, much as
despise that formerly naughty. BIT now
detected. land If cud get amy from there.
An whin we come down to it, dinnaw as I
blame Willum Waldorf Astor fr shiftin' his
allegiance. Ivry wan to his taste, as tn
man said whin he dhrank out iv tn fire ex-
tinguisher. 1t depinds on how we feel. IL
We ARE tired la-ad an wan without much
fight in We, Twin in this country is like
thryin' to read tn Lives iv tn Saints at a
meetin' Nv tn Clan-na-Gael. They's no
quite FIR anybody. Theys a fight on ivry
minyit Nv tn time. We may say to ye'ersilf:
I'll lave these la-ads roll each other as
much as they PLACE. BIT I'll set here in tn
shade an drink me milk punch. bit ys
can't do it, Some wan'n say. Look at that
gazabo settin' out there alone. He's too
proud FIR to jine in our simple dimmycratic
festivities Lave us go over an bat him on
tn eye An they do il. Now, II We have
fightin' blood in ye'er veins we hastily gulp
down ye'er dhrink an hand ye'er assailant
wan that does him no kind Nv good, an tn
first thing we know ye're in tn thick Nv IL.
an it's scrap, scrap, scrap. till tn undher-
taker calls FIR to measure We. An tbs tin
to wan they'se somethin' dom at tn
fun-ral that yere sorry we missed. That's
life in America. IT'S gloryous big tight,
a rough an tumble fight, Donnybrook
fair three thousan' miles wide an a rue
ton in ivry block. Head an hans an feet
an tn pitchers on tn wall. No holds
barred. Fight fair, BIT don't frget tn other
la-ad may not know where tn belt line is.
No polisman in sight. mans down with
twinty on top Nv him wan minyit Tn next
he's sittin' on tn pile. usin' baseball bat
on tn neighbor next below him. Come on,
boys, FIR tbs CROWN late. an no vans
been kilt yet. Glory be. BIT this is tn life.'
Now, If I'm tired / don't want to fight.
A man bats me in tn eye an i call FIR tn
polls They isn't polsman in sight. j say
to tn man that polked me: Sir. 1 fain wud
sleep Get up he says. an be doin'.' he
says. Life is rale, life Is earnest he says.
AN man was made to fight, he says.
fetchin me a kick. An II I'm tired / say:
What's tn use? I've got piinty iv money
in me inside pocket. I'll go to a place
where they don't know how TO fight I'll
go where 1 can git somethin' bit an argy-
mint FIR me money an where | won't have
to rassle with tn man tn bates me carpets.
ayether' / says, FIR fifty cints overcharge
or good governmint.' L says. An poke of
to what Hogan calls tn effete monarchies
Nv Europe an no wan walks on me toes.
an ivry man i give dollar to becomes
an acrobat, an I live comfortably an die a
markess. TIL divvle do!''
That's what / was goin' TO say" Mr..
Hennessy remarked "Ye wudden't live
anywhere but here"
mo" said Mr.. Dooley, II wudden't. I'd
rather be Dooley Nv Chicago than tn Earl
of PeltVille. 1t must be that IN Nv tn
fghtin' kind"