The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-12-07
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the brain or goose. Sne- Lave
uY'-Indianapolls Press.
Irish cook TO lnilkman) What
makes you come so early Of late2 You
used to be behind before. Life.
May-"Algy and Pamela had fall
ing out last night" Clarence What
was the causer' Maya hammock
Harlem Life.
Pretty big: "Blowhard has big
opinion of himself" 'How big?'
"Wel, he's beginning to Imagine he's
annoyed by camera nends. Puck.
Mother (at the door)-If you children
are not quiet in Ave minutes you will
have to go to bed. Small Voice after
pause)-What time is it now?--Judge.
"Did he gain anything by his visit to
the Paris Exposition yes; he says
he gained better appreciation Of the
Chicago Worlds Fair."-Chicago Post
slster-ln-law-"Ho like his father
the baby lsl' Mother-"He's certainly
like him in some ways. lie generally
keeps me up half the nightw-Punch.
Nlmrod- pat. did you ever catch
frogsg" Pat--"Falth. an OF did. SIR
Nlmrod did you bait wlth?"
Pat-"Begorry, Oi bate 'en with
shtick "-Chicago News.
or His Mind: Didn't you feel dread
fully when you lost your gold-headed
umbrellaT "No;rd expected to lose It
for SO long that was glad when it was
gone "-Chicago Record
'Your Uncle Toms Cabin seems like
brand-new play" "Of course; we've
fixed 1t up so Eliza crosses the Ice on
an automobile. chased by lot Of Box
ers." -Detrolt Free Press.
Provision for the future: Mrs. Bon
ney-"Six motheress children, you say?
And can't you find worl<Y Tramp
"Oh, they're not old enough for that
yet maam brooklyn Life.
Did It with a slam: Il am willing to
do anything" said the applicant for
work. "All right" said thehard-heart-
ed merchant; please close the door be-
hind you when you go out. "-Somer-
vile Journal.
Might Have Been Worse: TOO bad,
old man, about your wife running
away. "Oh, it might have been worse.
/ wonder that she did not take me
along to look after her trunks" in
dlanapolis Press.
He helped him out: "And your step
father told you to get out into the
world and earn your own living? lie
should have given you helping hand"
HE gave me a helping foot Clcve-
land Plain Dealer.
In Memoriam; 81 presume you carry
a memento Of some kind in that locket
OF yoursg Precisely; it is a lock OF
my husbands hair" But your hus-
band is still alive" Eyes; but his hair
Is all gOne."-Tit- Bits.
Safe: Mrs. Won Blumer-"Dear dear,
dropped my diamond ring off my fin
ger this morning and l cannot lind it
anywhere" Won Blumer-"It's all
right; l came across It in one Of my
trousers pockets. "-Bazar,
Vocal Possibilities; "Do you think,
professor" said unsteady ambitious
youth. that can ever do anything
with my voiceT We'll" was the eau
tlous reply. ''lt may come in handy to
boiler with In case Of fire. Answers.
"Are you old enough to voter" asked
The tourist in North Carolina. 81 dunno
erzackly what my age is, boss" replied
The colored man: "but kin tell you dis
I allus was old enough to know better
dan to try to vote. "-Washlngton Star
A Peaceful Exit: ibid you have any
words with your mistress which CAUSED
you to leave your last placer" "Nlvei
wor-rd. Sure. an OF locked her In the
bathroom. and TUX all me things. and
shipped out as quiet as yez blase.'-
Bazaar.
Its shape: "what is the shape OF 1
ship going to pieces on stern and rock
bound coastT' asked Gaswell Of Du
kane. "Yery bad shape. should say
what shape would you call III" -
wrecktangle" = Plttsburg Chrsilcle
Telegraph
"You told me to come and begin worl
to-day" said the new boy. "Oh. yes.
replied the druggist. "you may begil
by catching dies and putting them oil
those sheets OF Sure Catch Fly-Papet
we're displaying in the window
Philadelphia Press
Artless Thing: Charming Maiden
Then they went to Woozey's. did they
An, that's a delightful place. When
friend asks me to go to WOozey's
know he must think an awful lot of m,
for they serve the most elaborate an
expensive luncheons In the city. Hell
less Youth-LOts go to Woozey's. Mis-
Quickstep.-C Chicago Tribune.