The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1900-09-14
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Are you gOlfing this summer, Eth !
elY' Yes; I've got a lovely golf ham.
mock. indianapolis Journal.
Have you lived very long in the sub
urbs?" Not so very long; only about
fourteen cooks" Brooklyn Life.
Doctor-After this you ought to sleep
like baby Patient (anxiousIy)-I
hope you don't mean like my baby. doe
tor.
Some men, it is said, carry their sense
of honor so far as to spend all their
time in idleness because they object to
take advantage of time.
Yes, sir; put in months Of hard
work forming that girls mind"
"Well?' Then she said she wouldn't
have me."-New York World.
How much money have you, Sam
myf" well. if l didn't owe grandma
q dime and sister nickel I'd have if
teen cents."-Chicago Record.
"Our bookkeeper seems to be step
ping high this morning" yes; some
girl has either accepted him or gone
back on him" Chicago Record.
81 thought you and Rebecca were
the same age" 1--WE were: but she
seems to have receded. while I've been
going indianapolis Journal.
Ma-"Tommy. you seem to love pa
better than you do me-" Tommy-"Oh.
ma, don't mean to; but v see pa
Allus has his pockets full O. nickels"
The little girl slipped something be-
meath the edge of her plate 81 wish"
she said. under her breath. there was
an ant-crust law. That's what wish"
Daughter, notice that Harry isn't
a bit gallant to other women" NO in
deed. ma: broke him of that right
after we were married. "-Indianap
Journal
He-"l asked your fathers consent
by telephone" She-"What was his
answer| He-"He said. 4 don't know
who you are. but it's all right -
Harvard Lampoon.
Clerk-How did the alarm clock
work? | suppose you got up the mo-
ment it went off? Blake had to.
Didn't have anything in bed to throw
at h.-BOston Transcript.
"Can You depend on what Bondword
saysy" you bet your life! Why. man,
I've known him to quit poker game
loser Just be cause he'd promised his
wife he'd be home early"-Puck.
"Tonoe ro,,,il ,,,,..,,,, 90. .iob lilo 9TH
er men If you take so many afternoons
on to baseball games" "Oh, | don't
know: I'll Outlive them and catch up in
the long run" indianapolis Journal.
She-YOu told me you love me. but
suppose you have told the same thing
to fifty other girls at least He-What
Of that? You wouldn't want to marry
freak, would you?-Boston Tran
script.
Mrs. What! You have
breakfast at half-past seven? Isn't
that very early?" Mrs. Catterson-
Yes. But it is necessary now since
my husband has given up business to
play gOlf."-Life.
David. dear won't 90 step to the
Faris exposition without you NOW
Eliza. do you really want my loved
presence, or do you want somebody 10
push you around in wheel-chairE'-
indianapolis Journal.
Il cannot sing the old songs she
sang at high pitch in the torture
chamher. which is the music room. Il
don't think you can sing the new ones,
either growled the man on the porch.
Detroit Free Press.
An Explanation.-Un TO by
SANDER at a funeraD-"Are you one
d the mourners?" Bystander-"I am,
SIR Undertaker-"What relation to
the deceased?" observation-disclosures Mt
all-but he owed me S5."-Chicago
News.
Inc Palmist-"This line in your mana
indicates that you have a very brilliant
'uture ahead of you" Simkins-"ls
mat sOE' The Palmist-"Yes; but the
other line indicates that you are TOO
slow to ever catch up with it.'-Chica-
go News.
Cleverton-Now that you have sue
reeded in getting on such intimate terms
with New York's most exclusive liter
AIRY set aud meeting so many distlh
gulshed men. don't see what you want
TO quit for Dasha way-The fact IS
haven't cent left.-The Smart Set
What fine complexion Miss Home
wood has said Mr.. BeechwOod to Miss
NOrthside. I'm so glad you like H.
chlrruped Miss Northside ITS new
complexion just brought out by de
serving druggist of my acquaintance
ana | hope it will become popular. -
Pittsburg Chronicle.
It's gittin fashionable now. II seems
'AmOnp III, It'll 1T a. b,,v the