The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-05-30
SPINNING WHEEL.
COME TO MAINE.

Dent think you'll be the only ones
That're bound to come along;
There's Il big and mighty army,
And they sing mighty song:
They sing of weghty strings of fish
loud surely think EN- vain
But the chorus of the song is:
Come to Maine"
There are plenty fish for everyone
f many more should come:
There are trout just waiting for. you,
And your reel Will fairly mum.
Its pretty song it huns you,
But the best is the refrain;
It's enough to stir your very heart,
Come to Maine!''
Do you wonder that we people
Who live here all the year,
Think there isn't such another place
On this terrestrial sphere? .
DO you blame us when we point with PRIDE
TO ponds just full Of fish,
And proudly think ourselves
lhe only dent that's in the dish!
If you DO think we're conceited
And really, hardly sane,
just get your traps together
And hustle down to Maine.
You'll find fact as strange as fiction
And health that's sure to gain,
And you'll wish, by all your lucky stars,
You lived down here in Maine.
Frank Lakewood Rowe in Maine Sporls-
man.
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Judge Broyles' clerk called aloud.
Clarence Mason and Sally Simpkins.
Clarence stepped up, pretty we'll
dressed, intclligent-looking darkey. Then
came Sally, soot-skinned. side-stepplng
Sally, switching her skirts and with q
large, loud hat tilted down in her face.
Clarence" said the judge, you are
charged with cursing this girl. What
about it%'
Sally broke in: HE did. judge; dat
he did. He used talk TO me dat no gen
tlelnan would say to a colored LADY,
no, sir, | never, judge"
HE did. Dat he did! l heered him,
judgew
Well" said the judge, what Ian
guage?'
Judge, hit would make me blush ter
tell it."
Well out with it; what did he say?'
Judge, it would make you blush.
Clarence, what did you say to herr"
the Judge impatiently asked.
Il don't remember saying nothing that
would make her blush. | don't reckon |
could do it,
Sally fired up, turning a glare on Clar-
ence, and shouted: Judge, he's story,
sab, I'll tell you what he said; he called
me er hot baby. OATS what he called
me, too, nOw!'
Judge, | never. | just called her a
tepid infant. Atlanta Journal.
Hicks-'It is always gratifying to
see people who have been at enmity
come together again. Gardner says that
his neighbor, Bedwick, has not spoken
to him all winter; but this morning he
greeted him with all the fervor of near
and dear friend.
Wicks-"Gardner had said or done
something to please Bedwick, l sup
pose?'
Hicks-"Not at all. The growing grass
in Bedwick's front yard reminded him
that the time had come around again for
borrowing Gardeners lawn-mower. =
Boston Transcript.
Mollie-"What is the difference
between the sins of omission and the
sins of commission
Bessie-'The letter CO
Stella-"No. the sins of commission are
those we ought not to commit and do,
and the sins of omission those we ought
to commit and do mott
Growing tired of his chair, enc after
noon, Speaker Reed surrendered it to an
other member and sat down beside a
Western Democrat, relates Success.
My, what a large hand you haye." re-
marked Mr.. Reed, looking intently at the
enormous paw of his Democratic friend.
who was writing letter
Yes, sir, said the member, 'and
am proud CT it. / worked on a farm for
SO many years that my hands grew large,
as you see them"
The speaker held up his small and
shapely right hand, smooth and white as
a wOman's. and said:
well, | thank the Lord I never
worked on farm
The member replied: ''You are prob
ably going to run for the presidency,
sometime. Mr.. Reed. and if you do, I'll
placard that statement ali over the cOun-
try-and what could you do about it?"
The big fellow unused awhile, and said:
Nothing to brand you as an
internal liarr'
"Now," said the medical college pro-
! fessor to the class, 1--WE will proceed to
the dissectinig room, where the body lies,
just ahead"
Il beg your pardon, SIR remarked the
if it's just a head?"
1T can't be- replied the professor.
beaming benignly over his glasses.
that's the reason | said it lies.'-In-
dianapolis Sun.
There is an interesting story which
shows the disposition of Oxford toward
mathematics. A venerable don who had
bought half dozen books at three and
siXpence each requested the bookseller to
give him a piece of paper for the purpose
of arriving at the amount. He then
wrote down 3s6d six times, one under the
other, and was slowly adding them up,
when the shopman ventured to point out
the shorter method of multiplying one
3s6d by 6. Dear me-" exclaimed the
don, really that is most ingenious, most
ingenious. London Globe.
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Somebody has said that women are
rarely witty, says an exchange. Of
course it is a libel on the fair sex. They
are not only witty and wise, but they
have the gift of satire that cuts quite
as neatly and Clearly as the best hits Of
the Glover club or of any other aggre-
cation of mere males. That they can
''do up" their masculine friends in cpl
grammatic fashion is proved by the fol-
lowing toast proposed at a woman's ban
quet in Washington not long ago:
Women, they have many faults;
Men have only two;
Everything they say
And everything they do.
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