davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

Hotels entertain good many people
who can't write, said the clerk OF a
large hotel, land the bad pen comedy
is enacted quite frequently. or course
the clerk has to be very careful not to
let the guest suspect that he is on to
the dodge, for such folks are very SEN
sitiye about their educational infirmi-
ties
Il once knew man who paid 81 200
year solely to keep hotel clerks from
knowing that he couldn't write his own
name. He began life rs day laborer,
drifted out west and made a fortune
through leasing supposed worthless
mine in Montana. When he accumu-
lated about S150,000, he sold out and
started In to travel and have good
time. He was naturally shrewd, but
he had never had a particle OF school
ing, and lodging registers at new ho-
tells became the chief worry of his life.
Eat first he used to tie up his hand in
a handkerchief and pretend it was
hurt, but he realized that the trick was
pretty transparent, and at last he en-
plOyed young newspaper man at 500
a month To travel with him as his sec
retary.' The examiner never sent or re-
ceived any letters, he didn't care for
reading, and the secretary's one and
only duty was to sign hotel registers.
They would walk in together and the
young chap would say deferentially,
Shall do the registering for us both,
colonelT If you please his boss
would reply. and he would thereupon
write. Col. and secretary, Mon
tana.' = New Orleans Times-Demo-
crat
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
what Russia liz Like.

In Russia everything il large and
everything Is loud Moscow Is like an
immense village. and everything In Ii
is built broad not high. because there
Is SO much space To cover. The public
squares, unpaved and surrounded by a
little rim of cobbles, are as big as
meadows. The arcades and passages,
with their cellars below, their shops
above, their glass roofs, are so enor-
nous that t,.ey could hold the Passage
des PanorGmas and the Burlington
Arcade and the galleries at Milan with
out filling more than corner of them.
Colors shrek and flame; the Mus
covite eyes sees only by emphasis and
by contrast; red Is completed either by
another red or by bright blue. There
are no shades, no reticences, no mod
ulations. The restaurants are filed
with the din OF vast mechanical or
gans, with drums and cymbals; great
bell clashes against chain on all the
trans to clear the road the music
which one hears is ferocity of brass.
The masons who build the houses
build I'm top boots, red shirts and pink
trousers; the houses are painted red
or green or blue: the churches are like
the temples Of savage idols, tortured
into every unnatural shape and colored
with glaring color Bare feet, osier
sandals and legs swathed in rags pass
to and fro among the top boots of the
middle classes, the patent leather boots
OF the upper classes, like the inner
savagery of II race still so near barbar-
ism, made evident in that survival OF
the footgear Of primitive races.-Satur-
daY Review
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

NJ. Monnier The well known French
Asiatlc traveller, youches fcr the truth
OF tie following story u how his
friend. Hop Sing. Il Travelled oriental
and man OF mpaus aud refinement, was
on one occasion soreiy ,ietmized. Hop
Sing lived in the street oil the roasted
corn, ms unsayUry aLl as III paved n
street as any ia MI Picking. The local
mandarin was an Intimate friend of
his, and Hop Sing aNaleu himself Of
this friendship 10 press the mandarin
to have the street repayed. Certainly.
At once The men would be ut work
on 1t before Hop Sing had returned
home. A week passed, then another
visit, and SO on, until, In despair, Hop
Sing determined TO have the street re-
paired at his own expense. The work
was satisfactorily completed.
The surprise of Hop Sing was only
equaled by his Indignation when, on
awaking one morning, lie found a gang
of coolies upheaving the newly tagged
street. His surprise grew when he
heard from the mandarln's own lips
that the men were there at his orders.
You see, my dear friend" said the
mandarin, II am expecting the head
inspector round here in a few days.
Now, If he were to see the beautiful
pavement you have laid down i'm your
street he would come to the conclusion
that there was money about, and he
would assuredly bleed every vein in
my body. This would mean my ruin.
Don't you see why your pavement
really must come up? II cost me one
fortune to secure my post. | don't
want to spend another in keeping it."
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

In picking up your gun from lying
tat, standing against anything, from a
companion or boat, do not take hold
OF the muzzle and drag 1t toward you.
Take hold of II by the forestock and
barrel If you are only using one hand;
II two, in the regular way you grasp II
when you go 10 shoot. In carrying
your gun do not keep the muzzle di-
rectly behind you. Throw the butt to
the right or left. whichever shoulder
you are carrying 1t on. This will bring
the muzzle toward the opposite shout
der, thus rendering 1t easy to carry, as
1t will be resting on your neck and
shoulder instead of OH the small part
OF your shoulder and with the muzzle
upward will also tighten it little.
think there are more men shot with
their own guns by taking them from Il
boat than in any other way. When
you run your boat or canoe to the bank,
your gun Is likely to be in the bow,
which | think is the best place for it..
Take hold Of 1t by the forestock and
step out Put Ii In safe place where
you are sure 1t will not fall down. Then
draw up your boat or do anything else
you have to do, but do not let your gun
stay In the boat until you have shout
dered your pack and then catch hold OF
the muzzle, drag it up over the gun
vale, hook the hammers and have it
explode 1t is likely to blow out your
brains.-Forest and Stream.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
Knocked Ont the Poetry.

James Russell Lowell was dreamily
strolling along toward his home in
Cambridge one unusually beautiful
night. Slowly. with serene, queenly
majesty. a full moon was ascending
her "azure throne" pouring her lavish
light over all things and softening into
semblances of beauty even the ugly
outlines Of the conventional domestic
architecture round about. Duly illumi-
mated by the lovelness Of the specta-
Gle. the poet as he passed by the house
of the estmable brother man who sup
piled meat to him regularly for a slight
consideration Of profit noticed that val
liable citizen leaning on his fence and
gazing up in kind of rapt way.
1t pleased Lowell to think that the
butchers immortal soul was bathing
itself in the food OF semispiritual
moonlight and. pausing, he remarked,
what a beautiful night 1t Is, neigh
borm
Yes, Mr.. Lowell. was just a-think-
In what bully night for a slaughterin
this would bep'
"Of course, of course" gasped the
poet, beating a hasty retreat.-Argo-
naut
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
He Obeyed.

Murat Halstead, the great Journalist
Of wartimes, went to General William
Il. Sherman's headquarters once fol-
the --latest news from the front" Hal
stead was armed with many fine in.
troductory letters, but decided to rely
mainly on one given him by Thomas
Ewing. Sherman's brother-in-law. He
found the general and presented
Ewing's letter. The general opened
it somewhat impatiently, read few
lines. folded il and said:
"Ah, you come from Ewing and you
desire to have all the latest news,
the next probable move of our army
Ell? Well, there's train leaving this
town for Cincinnati at , O'clock
Here. take this ticket, and step over
there and get your dinner. and then
get on that train"
"Well. but. General Sherman be.
gan the newspaper man. But Sherman
waved him off.
go over and get a good dinner: we
have plenty and always strive to treat
our friends well. But be sure you
don't miss that 2 o'clock train And
Halstead wisely obeyed.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

Mile. Yvette Guilbert in the heyday
of her American success was in splen-
dido spirits. In crossing a certain dis
trict on Sunday she was unable to get
a bottle of claret
If | give it to you, madame" said
the waiter, II shall have TO go to jail"
Then 90, said Mile. Guilbert cheer
fully, but first get me my claret."
One afternoon in Chicago two blank
cards were sent up to her by callers de-
string her autograph. On the one she
wrote, "Yvettc Guilbert is a very good
singer" and on the other, "Yvette Gull
bert is a very naughty singer"
Now" she said airily as she dropped
them on the tray, "let them choose
whcech is wheech."
Her wisdom was OF worldly de-
scription. For who will give me bread
when | no longer please by my songs,
the dear publeec? No. Therefore | come
TO America. and | come high Satur-
day Evening Post.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

A number of good sized mines are
have been for years. The Vulcan mine
on the Green river. opposite Newcastle,
i'm Colorado, has been on fire since the
great explosion several years ago, when
about 50 persons lost their lives. All
efforts to quench it have proved fruit
less. In Butte there is mine which
has been afire since 1884. 1t has been
treated with carbonic acid gas gener-
atcd on Il large scale. quicklime and
acids and all the sitting devices that
genius and experience could devise. but
so far without effect.
In Pennsylvania there are several
steadily burning mines, and in one
place where the outlet of natural gas is
very great the spectacle it affords is of
surprising interest. For miles around
a great tower Of fire may be seen day
and night, and the dense black smoke
which ii gives off settles upon the sur
rounding country. How a mine gets
afre is easily explained, even though
the greatest precautions are taken to
prevent ii. Coal seams eXude a gas
varying in quantity according to the
pressure and the quality of the deposit,
which gas when mixed with air in GER
tain proportions is about as explosive.
as gunpowder New York Post
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

Besides Thoreau and his mother. the
house (at Concord has had for its oc-
cupants A. Bronson Alcott and family,
including his distinguished daughter
Louisa NJ, the author" writes Samuel
s. Kingdom in The Ladies' Home Jour
nal ITO them sometimes came the
ghost Of Nine Thoreau Those who
know Nine. Thoreau and her habits
confirm the description given by a
servant, who left the house because OF
the visitation. in every detail; her tall
gaunt figure. her big, white cap, her
stealthy step. her quiet comings. her
noiseless goings.
"When seen. she invariably stood in
the doorway her great cap well adj
justed. her neat handkerchief, half un,
folded. tucked securely into the waist
band Of her full dress skirt pausing a
moment on the threshold looking anx.
iously about, then STOPPING and run.
ing her finger along the edge of the
mopboard. to see if perchance n speck
of dust had found Judgment there
Proceeding 10 the workr0om, she glanc.
ed in, then glided to the fireplace
STOPPING over it and motioning with
her hands as If in the act of covering
the Goals with ashes.
I'm life, It should be said. the two
prominent characteristics Of Nine
Thoreau were an adherence Of dust
and dread of fire. Satisfied on these
points, the spirit would disappear. Tn.
like other ghosts, this one always ap-
peared in the daytime"
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
WOMEN IN TROUBLE.
The Approach of Motherhood il the
Occasion of Much Anxiety to All.

Every woman breads the ordeal
through which she must pass in becom-
ing mother. The pain and suffering
which is in store for her is source OF
constant anxiety, fear and dread, to
say nothing of the danger which the
coming incident entails. The joyous
anticpations with which she looks for.
ward to baby's coming gives way to an
indescribable dread Of the ordeal when
she fully realizes the critical and trying
event which will soon approach and
have to be endured.
\ Women should hail with delight q
remedy which insures to them inn
munity from the pain, suffering and
danger incidental to collaborating.
Such a remedy is now offered, and
women need not fear longer the hour of
childbirth. "Mother's Friend"-is q
scientific liniment-and il used before
confinement, gently and surely prepares
the body for the great requirements
and changes it is undergoing, insures
safety to both mother and child, and
takes her through the event with COM
parative ease and comfort. This Won
derful remedy is praised by every
woman who has used it.
| What woman is not interested in
"Mother's Friend?" This wonderful
remedy has been tested and its price,
less value proven by the experience of
thousands of happy mothers who
have used it during the most critical
period of woman's life-the approach
and elimination of motherhood.
1t has won their everlasting praise,
for it gave them help and hope in
their most trying hour and when
most needed. Every woman may some
day need "Mother's Friend" The
little book, "Before Baby is Born"
telling all about it, and when it should
be used, will prove Of great interest and
benefit to all expectant mothers, and
will be sent free to any address upon
application to the Bradiield Regulators
Company, Atlanta, Ga.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
As Good as Teeth.

Less than an hours ride from New
York is a community in which a GER
tain meat and vegetable grinding ma
chine has attained such popularity that
it threatens to affect the dentists work
and income. Not content with using 1t
for the preparation of hash and similar
made over dishes, it is screwed to the
table in many houses and made to do
the work of knife and fork i'm cutting
up food.
Father and was talkin about get
tin some false teeth" said one elderly
woman, but since we bought this ma
chine, | declare, we don't need 'em, aud
we can save the money. ! guess ii
would cost as much as So apiece for us
to get new teeth. and bought this ma
chine for S1.l5. If I'd only know'd It.
they had bargain sale one day when
| could got it for 50 cents."-New
York Press
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

1t was "A mean trick. but, then, that
is the kind that's usually successful.
That dog" said the owner, will
bring me anything | send him for and
j am willing 10 bot ON It,"
Straightway a bet was arranged and
then the manager Of Tie billiard hall
suggested that ne would like to have
the pool table brought TO him.
Certainly" answered the owner of
the dog, and he pointed TO the table
and said, Fetch it,
The dog raced around it once or twice
and then grabbed a pocket and tore ii
Off
Hold on cried the billiard man.
Hell ruin the table"
"Of course" answered the owner of
the dog, but if you give him time he'll
get it all over here You didn't sup
pose he could bring it in one trip. did
your
But the billiard man paid the bet
Chicago Post.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
The source of Wisdom.

IL wonder how Solomon became the
wisest man on earthY
That's easily explained" replied the
man with the intellectual but worried
face. You see Solomon had large
number Of families. and of course his
children asked questions. just as all
children do. have no doubt Solomon
was like anybody else and had GER
tain dislike to exposing his ignorance.
When one of the children would ask
him something he didn't know, he'd
make believe he wanted n drink of wa
ter and then go out and look I'm the
back Of the dictionary. | shouldn't be
surprised If he were compelled to do
this 80 or GO times a day. Under such
conditions man couldn't help getting
wise. Washington Star.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
She Was Sensitive.

Your face is like an open book. "
sighed Mr. Softleigh to Miss Gooph, ac-
companying the remark with what he
thought was his most winning smile
IF | had as big a mouth as yours
would not talk about other peoples. -
shifted the young lady as she fiounced
out of the room. thus teaching the
young man to cling to the good old. I'M
mistakable taffy talk when he de-
sires to be complimentary Baltimore
American
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

He had studied all the rules of cour-
tesy laid down for conductors and had
profited by them. He did not intend
to be caught mapping.
What car Is thisf" asked the sweet
young thing.
He DOTTED his cap and gave her "A
Chesterfieldian bow.
Madam" he said, "this Is car No.
$40"
IL mean," she explained, "what is its
destination"
Madam" he answered with the
same courtesy, sit affords me pleasure
to be able to inform you that its des-
Post.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
Town Gossip.

1t is generally agreed that the small
town is a pleasant place to live in, ex-
cept that there is always a great
amount Of gossip in such places. Why
do not worthy people control in this
matter of gossip as they do in other
respects? Are the small towns OF the
country to be made undesirable as
places Of residences to please lot of
cheap people who ought to be con-
trolled anu regulated ?-Atchison Globe.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
An A~fuI Inxs

At fire i'm Cambridge. Mass, an &C.
cupant Of the damaged house was be-
wailing the loss of her purse. Several
firemen ioipcd in a search for the miss
ing pocketbook. but after spending
some time In their quest were still uh-
successful. Finally the chief said to
the woman:
How much was in the pocketbook p"
AS she answered. Fifty cents" the
look Of disgust on the chiefs face was
too evident TO be mistaken.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
The Seuafe's Hole In the Wall.

When the nineteenth century was as
yet only half grown. senator's applied
customarily for their toddies ut the so
called Hole In the Wall. a small circu-
lar room just off the postofiice of the up
per house. The latter body. as will he
remembered. then occupied what is
now the chamber of the supreme court,
and the postottice was across the main
corridor of the building on the same
floor When n wearer of the toga
found himself in need of "shifter," he
had only to cross over to the mails
department and pass through 1t to
the little circular room aforesaid,
which was about the size of pantry.
The Hole In the Wall was the first
senate restaurant. and the bill of fare
for edibles was short. though to the
point. There were ham, guaranteed to
have been smoked for six months, a
veritable sublimation of the pork prod
uct; likewise corned beef and bread
and cheese but very little else. They
served, however. as an accompaniment
for the fluids, and when the Hole was
crowded, as was often the case, SEN
ators ate their sandwiches outside, in
the postotfice.-W Washington Post.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
Business Tomorrow.

When the Spartans' seized upon
Thebes. they placed Archlas over the
garrison. Pelopidas. with II others.
banded together to put Archias to the
sword \ letter containing full details
Of the plot was given to the Spartan
polemarrh Mt the banquet table, but
Archias thrust the letter under his
cushion. saying. Business tomorrow"
But long ere that sun arose he was
numbered with the dead.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
A Frienh In Need.

About half an hour had been ex-
pended by the hashful young man in a
series of advances and retreats. and lit
tie Johnny's cramped position behind
the sofa was becoming somewhat pain
sul
II wish | dared the young man
commenced on n new attack. when the
couple were electrified by an impatient
exclamation behind them: Jaw, make
break. She's dead yw-Brooklyn
Life.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

Gentleman-My wife has lost her wa
tcrproof, and she wished me to stop I'm
here and order another sent up at once.
as ii looks like rain.
Dealer-Yes. sir What sort sir?
Gentleman Um-I've forgotten the
name. but it's one Of those that make n
woman look better dressed In wet
weather than she Is in dry weather.
New York Weekly.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
tn philIp sol,er

When woman who asked Philip OF
Macedon to do her Justice was sEubbed
by the petulant monarch, she exclaIm-
ed. philip, ! shall appeal against this
judgment"
Appeal Numbered the enrared
king. And TO whom will you appeal ?.
ITO Philip sober. was her reply.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

A Yorkshire vicar tells how he once
received the following note from one
of bis parishioners This is to give no
tice that | and Miss Jcmima .Brearley
are coming to your church on Saturday
afternoon next to undergo the opera
tion of matrimony at your hands.
Please be prompt. as the cab is hired
by the hour. Farewarned Is forearm
ed."-London Tit-Bits.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

beg pardon" said the long haired
visitor but is there a literary club
around here anywhere"
Yes. there is" said the editor signif-
icantly. reaching under his desk. Are
you a literary Y'-Catholic Stand
ard and News.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
~. simnIc srrtcm.

How were you able" said the poor
man. ITO acquire such an immeuse for
tuneP''
"By very simple method" replied
the wealthy citizen. when | was
poor. | made out was rich. and when
got rich made out | was poor
Columbus (OJ state Journal
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

Ten million dollars annually Is ex-
pended in London for umbrellas. The
people there are accustomed to carry
them whether II Is raining or not and
In all sorts of weather.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
The TaYernier Pearl.

The largest price ever asked and paid
for single pearl was $550,0O0, which
was the value of the great Tavernier
pearl. 1t is the largest and most per-
feet gem Of its kind known 1t is
exactly two inches in length and oval
shaped
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

Perhaps you have noticed that the
man with 1--WE grown UP daughters new
er brings home d fashion magazine Of
his own voliton SomervilIe Journal
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

A good intention never did harm; 1t
was only called good intention.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

Ancestors OF Presidents Tyler. Lin
coin, Hayes and Cleveland were among
Major John Mason's band Of 80 pio-
neers who founded Norwich. Conn.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

Many scions Of European royalty
hold military commissions before they
are old enough to walk.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

The ignorance Of good man is wiser
than the enlightenment Of a bad one.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

Trust no profession OF love that can
not be honorably made and openly.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

The pure attracts purity-the low
find their level In dust and dirt.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

The i'll doing Of good thing is a very
great evil.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18
The Usual RepIy.

A year ago a tailor mustered courage
enough to send his bill to an editor
He received ii yesterday with a polite
note, saying, Your manuscript is re-
spectfully declined"
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

Thpp W0DM We guarantee 10 remove
mi II WUnM tape worm or refund your
money. Medicine entirely harmless and no i'll
effects from the use Testimonials furnished.
Enclose So and ADDRESS the Curtis Medicine
Co., Chicago, TU. Remember your money
refunded IL the medicine fails. References,
any bank in the city.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-10-18

f. r. Spencer, Pres F. X. Chase, v. Pres
NJ. A. Reed, Cashier.