Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-09-08
BARGAINS IN TABLE COVERS


rent doings In the Jobson household 1t u
frequently necessary for the vsracious his
torian Of said doings to do some barking
back. For example. one evening about SIX
months ago, after Mr.. Jobson had placed
himself on the outside Of q particularly
good dinner and had finished his evening
paper and cigar, Mrs. Jobson perceived q
favorable opportunity. She slipped upstairs,
and when she came down again, a moment
later, she had two beautifully wrought ia
BILE covers held out to view in front Of her.
Il can't wait any longer to show you the
bargain found today" she began. They
are genuine Syrian table covers, you know,
and got them at such a simply ridiculous
figure that couldn't resist the temptation
to fetch them home. Don't you think they
are lovely. the blue one particularly. with
| those bullion threads running through"
Mr.. Jobson eyed the table covers severely,
and then he permitted his reproachful
gaze to rest heavily upon Mrs. Jobson.
| Bullion threads running through EN-
hey?' said he. crabbedly. That's more
appropriate figure of speech than you
dream of, Mrs. Jobson. Dye ever stop to
thnk now y much ns bullion you run through
such idiotic truck and rubbish as that?''
But" said Mrs. Jobson. II got them for
actually one-tenth Of their real value and
| 1t isn't likely that I'd get another chance
to pick up such really beautiful examples
And supposing you were to live trillon
years and never In all that period get
chance to pick up such Internal gaudy tin
selfish. no-account stuff. how much worse
on would you be?" demanded Mr.. Jobson
| w mats the good of those things, anyhow?
what are you "oing to do with 'em? Fold
EN- away In a clean Turkish towel, that
might be employed to better purpose. and
| stow 'em alongside of the thousands and
tens of thousands of dollars worth of utter
ly useless and tawdry gear OF similar
sort tnat you've been throwing away good
hard-earned money on during the past fif-
teen years? tell you one thing Mrs job
son, and that is"
But there's really no use in storming so
over the three dollars that paid for these
two table covers" interrupted Mrs Jobson
especially when everybody knows that
they're worth"
There's all the use in the world in my
using whatever means see fit to check
this shameful extravaganza on your part,
Mrs. Jobson." shouted Mr.. Jobson, rising
from his chair and trying to tower majesti-
cally over her. This bargain business has
got to be mania with you. If it goes on
it'll land me in the poor house the Sol
diers' Home. and I'm not ready for either
such finish, with your kind permission,
Standard OIL king? steel and wire
magnate? sugar mogul? bookmaker?
Well" put in Mrs Jobson, ct paid the
three dollars for these things out Of the
fifty dollar check that Uncle Simeon sent
me for my birthday, and
| oh, you ola, did you! demanded Mr..
Jobson. sarcastically. That's a mighty
ng-enduring fifty dollars that your Uncle
Simeon sent you. isn't 1t? AS nearly as 1
can figure 1t out, you have paid for just
about S24o67 worth of bargains that, all
told are not worth two dollars out or that
fifty dollar check your Uncle Simeon sent
you more than two months ago, and I
don't suppose that more than half the re-
turns are in yet If you have been able to
buy the whole town up out of that check.
what's become of all the money I've been
giving you? What"
You know very WELL interrupted Mrs.
Jobson. that for the past couple of months
you have given me very little money for
my own use, as you said you wanted to
economic in order to save up for a good
summer vacation, and"
$50 you're calling me stingy now, too.
are you?" demanded Mr.. Jobson. You're
standing right up before my face and tell
ing me. in precise words that I'm a miser
and a skinf1int, and that you never have
enough money in your purse to pay car
fare You're telling me in exact terms
that"
Il haven't said anything Of the sort, or
anything like it. said Mrs. Jobson. with
| some spirit .'If you are going to make
such an awful fuss over two table covers
that only cost three dollars, why, l can
take them back and have my money re-
You'll do nothing of the Sort" exclaimed
Mr.. Jobson. when you make an idiotic
bargain. just have the nerve to stand by
1t, that's all Don't weaken. Don't craw-
fish. Don't hedge. Don't back water. I
know that it's natural for women to do
those things. but just try to rise superior
to some Of the infrmities of your weird
| sex, anyhow"
This, as stated above happened about six
months ago
On Thursday evening last Mr.. Jobson
| brought a bundle home with him from his
office. He opened the bundle before Mrs.
Iobson with a good deal of flourish.
ITS not often that l do any shopping
for this family said Mr.. Jobson good
| INT wi
opportunity like the one had today comes
along, why, 1 give 1t hug as the boy
| says
Why" said Mrs. Jobson. they're table
covers just like those
Hal right the very first time" interrupt
ed Mr.. Jobson, bestowing glances of ap-
prevail upon his purchases. That's just
| what they are-table covers. But they're
not ordinary table covers.
They're just about as fine an article in
| the way of table covers as can be had for
money on this side of the world. and it
| positively makes me laugh right out loud
to think of the paltry sum of money paid
looking chap drifted into my office today with
| these things. He was from Turkestan, he
told me in broken English and these two
table covers had been wrought by one Of
| the most famous artists In that line in his
country. He had had about forty Of them,
all of which he had succeeded in SNUG
Cling In. when he struck this country. he
| said. and he had disposed Of all but these
two in New York and Philadelphia, at fig
ures running into the hundreds, most Of
| the purchasers having been millionaires.
He was anxious to dispose Of these last re-
| naming two however. and he asked me
| $15 for the pair of them. I that 1
| could probably get them at much smaller
| igure-and you may readily imagine, by
| looking at them. that wanted 'em pretty
| badly-and l began to haggle with him.
| Now, what dye suppose I finally got him
| to let me have the pair Of 'em for?"
| II haven't the least idea," replied Mrs.
| JObSon, but
''Thirty-seven dollars!" almost shouted
Mr.. Jobson. II got 'em for thirty-seven
miserable, puny little dollars, when they're
worth at least
| Mr. Jobson suddenly found that he was
! alone. Mrs. Jobson was at his side q mo-
| ment later. however. and she had in her
| hand the exact duplicate Of Mr.. Jobson's
| $37 covers, for which she had paid S. Mr.
Jobson looked at them just once. and then
| he remembered. and grew red.
so those are the ones that you told me
you paid So fol? ''yhe inquired, sarcastically.
| "Um. Now | know where that hundred
dollar bill that you said you lost six
| months ago VENT
/