The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1900-01-31


name ana take new start, ike the,
DO in Mexico When u couple mate il
Mexico the first thing they do befor,
they marry Is 30 agree upon famil,
name. II the girl is mum BILE ana sui
misslYe, she takes bis name if she i,
wealthy or aristocratic and he is not
he takes her name. II they are O
equal rang, they make up new nam,
ia kind OF mixture Of both tamil,
names. For instance, Mr.. Brown auG
NJ isS Jones would be welded IS MIR. anC
Mrs. Bru!Oa. My wife aud would have
been Nj. aud Mrs. uutcharp. for she
was huIchlns, anu tncn our Aescul.
nppC0n son would have been Dr.. Hutch
arp or naybe DR.. Keciy, after his W lie
and have saved that long ride and
forty dollars. But all's wei that ends
well, and we are still calm and serene
Ooe OF our little randchildrcn. u
Ihree'year-otd, thinks 1T rniGhty mar,
ana great fun 10 call me as pass and
say, Hello, major Hello, Bill Arp
Hello, grandpa :"
There is II good deal in name. |
| Ike big stroog names like Webster,
Calhoun, Washington, Macon, Lamar,
Mclntosh, Bayard, Buchanan, Gould.
| ing, etc, but IL must DC u serious CON
sldefatlon for pretty girl with q pref
W euDhonlous name 10 swap IL OF for q
disagreeable or peculiar one. | knew
MlsS Gouidtng to marry - Mr.. Tur-
| nlpseCd, and always thought she
must have loved him mighty hard.
Charles Lamb tells story about an
Eng!kh gtcl VINO was courted by u
wealthy gentleman who WAS good and
handsome and bad every virtue, bat
his DatuG was Rugs ilash. Sho loved
him, but she couldcnt bear 10 think OF
being called Mrs. Hovs flesh and she
refused him Tor three years and would
nave kept on refusing, ont he went be.
fore parliament and had his name
changed to Bacon. That is how the
name Bacon originated, and reckon
our Senator came from that stock
and 1T is good stock.
SO have come pretty near reading
my epltaph again for there was news
paper man around when our doctor
left Jacksonville and they are given to
anticipating bad news- and II he heard
| WAS dying, OF course he could out it
in that | Wac dead next morning. Rs-
porters are death on bad news. When
the origi Bill Arp died in Texas it
went all over the country that it was
mo and had to retire from the field
for time AID wait until the people
learned better-for wherever | went |
was suspect and pronounced a fraud
but read my epitaphs and was salts
fed. Mr.. Ward, of Birmingham, in.
troduced me to an audienced not
long ago and said lecturer or
n writer OF humorous sketches was +,
ol no consequence until he took |
another name-that Charles e. Brown
was unknown until he took the rame |
OF Artemus Ward that Henry Shaw |
ha
signature OF Josh Billings; that Sam
uel Clemens was never heard OF until |
he became Mark Twain; aud so Fran.
els b. Harte became Bret Harte and |
Dickens became Boz; and Melville |
Landon became Eli Perkins and Al
lred Townsend became Gath; aud |
ohiIabor WAS Mre Partiugtun and
Goodrich was Peter Farley: and Locke
was Petroleum V. Nasby; and John
Proctor was Puck: and Maurice Thomp-
s0n was Doestlcks; and George Harris |
was Sui L2vcngOOd !; and Ben Franklin
was Poor Richard; and go forth and
so on, and lnst OF 2l' here is our friend,
Bill Arp, who had to discard & GOOD
DID honest name and assume one that
@aS never heard Of ia the heavens
above nor The earth beneath, nor in the
waters under the earth. Shakespeare
"gS 'H&" " '''S W any OShSE
would smell &s sweet, but these auth
,re, whether wise or witty, are afraid
70 risk their thoughts without new
ing.
Now, | was Illuminating about what
Christian Sciouca would DO with such
\ case as our son coming up here 400
miles with belief that was dead or
dying could tho science have told
him better | am not disposed TO make
5pOrt OF the science as Mark Twain
did, bat | cannot understand how, we
can manufacture faith TO order, and |
sometimes 1t has to be manufactured
so quickly that it must strain the ma
chinerv powerfully. | WAS mending a
little tablo yesterday for our grand.
child and the nail slipped and the ham
mer came down on my thum b and made
D blood blister before | had time to
think IL dident hurt me according TO
Christian Science, but WAS only i'm
aginary. J. tell you it did hurt bad
and don't believe the science would |
have prevented it.
Maybe blood bliSters are excepted, |
they ought to be, and so ought stumped |
toes and burns and all other ;ery sud |
den things that don't give faith time |
/. work. BILL ARP.