The Somerset reporter., 1900-05-17
BY M. QUAD.


Zone Sunday mawnin seven or eight
years ago l got up feelin sorter can
tankerous," said the old possum hunt
er as l asked for a story. 1.-THE old
woman seed that l wasn't peart, and
she let me alone till after breakfast.
Then, as l started out for a walk
around, she says
'Zeb, thar amt no preachin at the
skulehouse today, but it would look
mighty decent fur you to sot down and
read chapter in the Bible
"'What furY says |.
Fur to show the world that you
respect the day says she.
81 reckon the world don't keer
whether l read the Bible or take a
walk
but the Lawd does. Can't nobody
keep on Dustin up the Sabbath as you
do without somethn happenin to 'em.
My eyes are leetle weak this mawnin,
and if you'd sit down and read me that
chapter bout the children of Israel
crossin the Red sea I'd be powerful
glad
THAT'S what l orter hev done, of
cose." explained the old man. "but
when q critter is feelin cantankerous
he amt hsself. He's mad at his wife,
his dawg. his gun and everything else,
and he won't git decent ag'in till some
thin has happened. | whistled to my
dawg and went off up the hillside, and
the old woman didn't call AFTER me.
Mebbe I'd got half mile from the
house when the dawg took arter a
varmint and run it up a tree. | jest
got a glimpse of the thing and took 1t
fur coon, but orter hev known bet
ter. Every ha'r on that dawgs back
was standin up and his eyes as big as
sassers, and If | hadn't bin cantanker-
Gus I'd hev figgered 1t out that no coon
could excite him in that way. The
thing to do was to tie the dawg to the
tree and go home fur an AK. The dawg
didn't want to be tied, but | managed
1t and went back.
"'Hev you cum back to read to me
bout them children of Israel? asks
the old woman as | arrove.
mo; I've cum fur the ak to cut
down coon tree
Are you gwine to risk your soul fur
the sake of coonT
Don't be silly. Coonskins is with
60 cents apiece, and we are out of
'lasses, and the Lawd amt gwlne TO
punish folks fur gittn somethin to eat,
even on Sunday
"'Zeb,' says she as was turnin
away, If you've got coon up tree,
mebbe it wouldn't be so awfully wick
ed to chop him down, but If was you
I'd kinder smooth it over with Provi-
dence first. Bein as you left the dawg
on watch you kin read me that chapter
befo' you go. I've sorter forgotten how
clus Phario was to 'em when the wa
tiers rolled back and kivered him up
81 don't believe it ever happened
says |, feelin a new streak of cantan-
nervousness comm over me.
What! Do you deny thatY
Reckon | do, and heaps Of other
things BESIDES
"'Then, Zeb White. you jest git ready
fur calamltous calamity! It's denyln
the Lawd, and the Lawd amt gwine to
stand it. Go on arter your coon, but I'm
sayin goodby to you. | shall be a wild
der befo' the clock strikes -
II wasn't troubled bit In my mind"
said Zeb, but | was sorter astonished
when got back to the coon tree. Bits
of ha'r was lyin around on the ground,
and the old dog was gone. Feared to
me that thar had bin a fout around
thar. but | didn't flgger fur long. 1t
was a tree which stood alone. and
away up in the top could see the coon
hidin away in a crotch of a limb. 1t
took me but half an hour to cut the
tree down, and all the time | was chop
pin was sayin to myself that the chill
dren of Israel never passed through
the Red sea dry shod. Jest befo' the
tree fell heard a yeowln and a snarl-
in from the varmint in the top, but
took it that the coon had got shaky.
The tree went down with a crash, and
I run up with club to give the coon
knock on the head. | hadn't reached
the fust limbs when he cum out 10
meet me, and all the hairs on my head
riz up to once. 1t wasn't no coon tall,
but one of the biggest wildcats l ever
laid eyes on. He hadn't bin hurt by
the fall, but he was mad 'nuff to eat
nails. had skeercely made out what
the varmint was when he lit on me and
got to work. | don't reckon you ever
met up with 20 pound wildcat with
teeth and claws in good trim, but IL
you ever do you'll find that buzzsaws
amt In 1t with him. The varmint
knocked me down at the fust jump,
and he had torn off half my clothes be-
TO could git up. Then we went at it
hammer and tongs. l had denied the
children of Israel and so had to de-
pend upon the club. 1t wasn't much