davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
IIt Sic FTTFUs-
5''Hella," came back over the phone, who
"A MINNESOTA FARMER
WRITES OF WESTERN CANADA.
Is Now Located There, Farms In His
NeIGhborhood BeIng Taken by
Former U. .. ResIdenfs

Former U. y. Residents.
The following extracts from letter
written to Mr.. BENZ. Davis, Canadian
Government Agent at ST. Paul, Minn.,
give an excellent idea of what is said
of Western Canada by those who have
gone there during the past two or three
years.
when we first arrived here ard took
up our homes on the prairie near Dales-
boro, ASA, for short time we had a
fit of the blues but now all hands
are settled TO business, hale, hearty
and contented, enjoy ing the finest win
ter we have ever seen. We have got
very comfortably situated, with con-
siderable preparation for crop, and
all hopeful. l think this is very fine
country, and If the past seasons crop
Is not an exception, which they claim
not, / believe this is going TO be the
Wheat Field of the West. 1t is fill
ing up fast. In this township last
spring there were 25 quarter-sections of
land vacant and to-day there is not one;
l can stand at my house and count 10
houses where there was not one last
spring, with six more to go up this
spring. This is only a sample of what
is going on all round. We intend to
build a church next summer, right
close TO my place. so we will be strict
ly in line. 1t would have amused you
to have been here last spring. There
were crowds of land-seekers, and some
times in the spring the prairie is not
very inviting, and Of course lots were
disconteuted. There was one in the
crowd who jumped on me for putting
letter In the paper. only for which he
never would have come here, and he
was very hostile. but eventually he got
a place, and to-day claims he would not
take Thousand Dollars and move out,
so | am glad he is satisfied.
well, my dear Sir, as Arthur Finney
is about to move ont in March. with
his family, and also one of my sons. any
thingyou can do for them to assist them
along and TO make things smooth as
possible, will be greatly appreciated by
me. I will close for this time. and will
write from time to time TO let you know
we are living. Drop us a few lines 10
let us know how things are moving In
st. Paul, Yours Respectfully.
"ALEx CAMERON"
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

He looked an II he felt mighty com
Portable under the warm bedding.
bath. hey ~ mumbled Mr.. Gibson,
when Mrs. Jobson had left the room.
Well, / A'poHe I've got to--''#
He got up, looked out Of the window
at The cold, drear prospect. shiyered
yisibly. put on his bathrobe, and went :
| out OF the bathroom. He looked at
the water In the tub with no apparent
enthusiasm, and then he put his hand
In ii.
3"Jiminii" he exclaimed, withdraw
ing his hand with considerable sudden
ness. Then he put one OF bis feet in the
tub.
3''Br-r-r-r-r-but that's frigidi" Mrs.
Jobson. who wasn't far away, heard
him calculate. Then he put the other
foot In.
''Well.,it's heroic treatment, all
right" Mr.. Jobson vas heard by Mrs.
.Iobson 10 humble 10 himseif. Then
she heard a terrific splash, that remind
ed her of the tank fun Of captured
walrus she had once seen, followed by
snorts and gurRles and eholings and
gaspings. and then three minutes OF.
steriorons breathing. with some In
distinct mumbIing at intervals. a
couple of minutes later Mr.. Jobson APP
peared In his bathrobe.
'.JInglebeiIA. eh?p said he 20 Mrs.
Jobson with the look Of conquering
hero. Thought he had me topped,
didn't you? Well, II there's anything
else that you think Jlnglebells can do
that ! can't do, just jot II down, will
you, please, Mrs. Jobson, and Ill at
tend 10 it,"
did you enjoy your bath?" In.
quired Mrs. Jobson, with the straight
est face in the world.
ENJOY IL? IreveIed In It'll It's what
I've been needing for 20 years. It's just
imagination. this fear people have of
jumping into n tubful Of cold water in
the winter time-pure imbecile imag.
nation. Once the plunge's made. and
you're ell right. love 1t. and II yon
ever catch me taking warm bath tgain
you'll know I'm not In my right mind"
II was bitter cold the next morning,
too, and when Mrs. Jobson shook Mr..
J0bson awake and told him his cold
bath was waiting for him be looked as
II he might, under other circumstances,
say some things 20 her. But he got up
again and went out 10 the bathroom,
where he repeated the performance Of
the morning before. His gurgiings and
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
LITERARY REWARDS.
wrestling Match Between Writers,
in Which the Truth Is uad-
Iy Strained.

Well, il a man goes into literature he must
expect his pay in something besides dollars
and cents" remarked Chicago novelist as
he stFoked his blond imperial.
Yes, that's SO, said a second, big man
who writes western stories and delights to
have himself photographed in picturesque
felt hat and an overeoat with cape to 1t.
Now, for my Prairie Yarns the best
could do was 81, 600, and they haggled over
that as if il had been an amateurish per-
formance.
"They treat me the same way" said the
little blond man, who has a trick of holding
his head on one side. Now for my SKY
seraper-magniiicen piece of Chicago color,
with Mrs. Seymour-Seymour IN It, and the
Snobs murder case, and all that, West side
and North side and all that-what do you
suppose | got for thatg A beggarly s35, 900,
and | was silly enough to take it down and
let the royalty 60
They looked at each other narrowly. The
man who writes Prairie Yarns said he
must be going As the elevator descended
with him swiftly he muttered:
gu never can tell one so big that that
prig won't go You one better.
The little blond man laid his throbbing
forehead in his hand and mused: at takes
something more than the author Of Prairie
Yarns to feaze me. Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
ANEpIsoDE IN BoERDoM.
For Those Readers who Are Keep
ing Up with the War Lit~
erature.

An Afrikander, trekking from Schuin's
Hoogte TO PaIapsie with load of biltong
halted by a fontein at the foot Of kloof
A Noortrekker suddenly appeared from be-
C aoorlog shouted the Voortrekker.
'Dop!' replied the Afrikander, who was
a man of ready wit.
produce IT," said the Voortrekker,
Though ] am no dopper."
The Afrikandar's voorlooper, who was
standing on the disselboom munching
meaies, jumped off and started on a run to-
ward krantz In jumping slut. foot
slipped on kip and he fell into a donga.
The Others, after much dop, got into heat
ed argument in Taal over the quickest way
to the nearest dorp. One said he should
take the drift over the spruit, and the other
that he should pont over the pan. A carp
came along and took them both around the
viel and through the poort to the lager,
where they should be safe from rooineks.-
n Y sun
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

snorts were more prodigious than on
the morning before, and when he
emerged from the bathroom his lips
were blue and his teeth chattered.
"You are chilled through" said Mrs.
Jobson.
"Ne-we-well. wha.wha-what II I
amp" chattered MIR. Jobson. II f.f-feel
l-like-br-T-r-roughl" and Mr.. JobSon
rolled under the bed clothes and GOV.
cred himself up 10 the head. II took
him Is minutes to get over shaking,
and then he got up and put ON his
clothes.
On the following morning, when Mrs.
Jobson woke him up for his plunge,
Mr.. Jobsou came TO with q start. gath
cred himself together. regarded Mrs.
Jobson with grave austerity. and said
my bath is ready, is it. Mrs. Job
song Well. II can stay ready. It's
pretty near time for you TO begin to
do little thinking with regard To some
Of your methods. Mrs. Jobson. You
saw 10 what condition that cold bath
scheme Of yours reduced me yester-
day morning, and yet II seems TO have
aroused no sympathy within YOU. You
calmly COME TO me TINS morning. wake
mc out Of a sound, health-giving slum.
ber, aud tell me that you have aaother
one OF those deadly cold baths Of yours
ready. Mrs, Jnbsnn, l revolt. I'm
pretty easy to get along with, but when
you try 10 foist fads upon me that are
obviously designed with view 60
getting me under the ground before the
crocuseS begin TO pop and the collec.
ton OF my life insurance by the time
the spring styles are on exhibition In
the shop windows, you overstep the
mark, Mrs. Johson--you overstcp the
Observation-Disclosures Star.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
Tse STORY. : .TkllsS
MY VICE.

Come sit down here beside me. little wife.
That work can wait. There-this Is com
fort. home.
Has duty been so pressing down below
That you must leave your husband here
aions7
But I'VE been working. too. See what Nv.
dons2
See all that manuscript upon the floor
And desk and table2 / was dreaming,
though.
OF yon. sweet. when heard you at the
door,
Five years Of welded life Your little hand.
How white and soft II H. I'll hold II here
ciose. lest II get away. Five welded years.
And they've been full of comfort for us,
dear.
] used 10 sit ard dream Of married life.
And try to fancy what home would be
With me, and just one person there beside
Who'd call mo husband and aii upon my
knee.
And always love me- That was years ago.
Before | knew you, sweetheart, ere you
To weave your witchlns wllea about my
And lead me helpless by captive chain
But now / dream no longer, for know
That when God planned to bless odr hu-
man lot,
lie made home--just such home as
ours
Lest Edsn'a paradise should be forgot.
You say you muat go Wei. then. one more
kiss
Don't stay so long away another time.
There. say again you love me. Now, good
BY.
And may God bless this little wife Of
minel
--Morda stevsna. In N w. Christian Ad-
vocate.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
STATE OF ONO, CRY OF TOLEDO, l..
nrAa [ ,lnIrNrN AN.

Frank j. Cheney makes oath that he is the
senior partner OF the trm of +. j. Cheney
q Co., doing business in the city of Toledo
County aud State aforesaid and that said
firm will pay the sum OF One Hundred Dol.
cannot be cured by the use of Halls Catarrh
Cure. FRANK j. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
presence, this 9th day OF December, A. y.
1856. A. W. GLEASON,
seal Notary Public
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally and
nets directly on the blood and mucous sur,
faces of the system, Send for testimonials,
free. +. j. CHENEY 4 co, Toledo o.
sold by druggists. 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

Five years OF welded life. Your little hand,
How white and soft II IL. I'll hold It here
Close. lest II get away. Five weddeG years.
And they've been full of comfort for ua
dear
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

See all thar manuscript upon the floor
And desk and tabie9 / was dreaming.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

Has duty been so pressing down below
That you must leave your Husband here
al
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

Boys are odd eonglomerations, and few
there are who understand the emotions that
prompt their actions.
A certain little fellow had his picture
taken. and when the family got the negative
of it they were Mortified to see the face of
the boy all pulled out and the eyes bulging,
and exclaimed in body; "Why. what on
earth did you do to make your face look like
thatf"
Didn't do a thing" said the innocent lit-
tie fellow. "but just see if I could hold my
breath until the man got through takin' my
picture. Memphis Scimitar.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

The pastor of = church in Washing
ton. ON ieaving his study. which is in
the rear of the church, sau little girl.
a friend Of his. talking TO n stranger.
What was that man saying to you.
Madge' 81 asked the minister. as be "a ms .
up Ia the little girl.
..tlh, he Just wanted TO knew Il pn
G. was che preacher OF this church"
and What did you tell him r
u told him." she s8id. WITH slwnitp
that yeu were the present xnSnm
hfanee. - Youths Companlon
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
An ChnruIna

Man sweeps the strings to fatter;
When girl fs thin and long
He Iisps Of "wiiiowy gFacss'
Through the measures OF his songi
But when girl is buxom.
Or, rather. when sht's fat.
He sings Of "witehihg plumpness,"
Ard claims TO worship that.
-Chieago Tlmes-Herald.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

Write tosiuy 10 Allen =. Olmste,l, Leroy,
N. Y, for FREE sample OF Aliens Foot
Ease, powder u shake into your shoes. IL
cures ehilhlains, sweating, damp, swollen,
aching feet. IL makes New or tight shoes
easy. A certain cure for Corns and Bun
ions. AL druggists and shoe stores sell IL. &c.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

In every sewing circle there
Is always one among
The number whom the others spare
From Gosslp's nlmble tongue
'Tis not her Eodllness nor grace
They all respect-nay. nay;
She's first to reach the meeting place
And last 10 60 away.
-Elliott's Magazine.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

been working. too. See what I've
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
Easily nemrmhered.

SIS It the grip that ails me, doetor?'
"It's the grip. Take this powder
!hree times q day. As soon as you go
aome have your wife mix you some hot
whisky and lemon juice-wait mo-
mel. I'll write it down. n.FZ
THAT won't be necessary. doctor. l
san remember the hot whisky and
lemon juice."-Chieago Tribune.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
MhnlIke.

Mrs. Bowers-I don't like the way
Fannie acts. She is extremely man.
nish in her ways.
Mr.. Bowers lin surprise) e)-Mannish :?
Mrs. Bowers-fes; every time she
goes shopping she comes home COM
pletely worn out!---Puck.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
parnaeie. ON ocean Cables.

Therecent investigation for cable laying in
tbs Pacific Ocean have revealed the interest
ing fact, that il not upon rock bottom, they
gradually become enerusted with barnaeies
ard seaweed, heavy enough TO break them.
This Is like dyspepsia, which, ii il is not
checked, grows until it breaks down the
health. HostetterSs Stomach Bitters will pre-
vent as well as cure indigestion, dyspepsia,
biliouspess, liver and kidney troubles. 1t
makes weak stomachs strong. All druggists
Ill
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

A professor of English literature in the
Kansas university once posted this notice
In communicating with themselves the
ktudents will whisper as often as possible -
He was Mortified next morning 10 find this
written under his notice: That il to saw.
talk TO yourself in whispers as much as YOU
can. Chicago Chronicle.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
Tirrnnn,n Lnknn

Low Comedian - These newspaper
jokes about theatrical companies burst.
Ing up aud the actors walking home are
getting rather tiresome.
Heavy Man (retieetivelyl-Yes. but
not half 80 tirekome as the--the walk.
inE.-~N. Y. Weekly.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
MD xot Knnu.

Recently rosy-eheeked German girl ap-
np l9a rr n earne5 to - seaF Ws
English language in remarkably short
time, but many of the expressions did not
appeal to her in the proper sense.
The telephone had a peculiar charm for
the girl, and at times she would loiter about
near the instrument in order to answer a
call One dag there came ring and she
hastened TO the phone and put the receiver
TO her ear.
Hello" she cried
He'll" came back over the phone, who
is this?"
How do / know" irnocently inquired
the German maid, and to this day she won.
ders why the man az the other end laughed
until he rang off.-Chieago Chronicle.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
Florida md Cuba.

Write to j. C. Tucker, G. N. Agent, Big
-Four Route, 234 Clark St, Chicago, Ills, for
full information as TO Low Rate Excursion
east, via Cincinnati, Louisville, Asheville,
Atlanta, Jacksonville and East and West
coasts of Florida, as may be desired.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
A solid Foundation.

Mrs. Paryenu-But, I'm sorry we
don't belong TO one of them old fam
lilies.
Mr.. Parvenu-Never mind, Maria.
Wen found family. and we'll found it
on rocks. Brooklyn Life.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
Too ListIe by Efnety-Five.

I'm going TO have 1t cut V-shaped,"
announced the petted daughter, looking
over the patterns for her new dress.
"If you want 10 show what IL cost, :"
growled the father OF the family,
you'd better have II cut C-shaped." -
Chicago Tribnne.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

Gay Bachelor-Do you think there
is anything in the theory that mar
ried Tnen live longer than unmarried
ones?
Henpecked Friend (wearily)-Oh. ]
don't know-seemS longer.-Harlem
Life.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
No TIme Wantea.

Betty-You say you never turn down
the light when Jack comes7
.Letty-Neyer.
.Betty-Wby. how unsociabie.Z
.Letty-Jack doesn't think So.
Betty-How do you account for II {?
Letty-Well, you see, 1 never turn 1t
up.-JudY
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

Darn progress, anyway" growled
Father Time; "l'm doing my level best,
same as usual, TO leave my traces on
the faces of humanity, but between
complexion experts and dermatologists
| haven't ghost of show!"-Town
Tnpics
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

Standing up together~-That's ceremony.
You are mas and wife-That' ; matrlmony.
Living for each other-Thats harmony.
Money that you spend-That's patrim0ny.
Things written dowE-That' testimony.
Money you paid out-ThAt's aimony.-
Detroit Free Press.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

"Ioa are not the man who fixed our
pipes last winter. are you?"
Certainly not, ma'am; you don't sup
pose man has TO work two years at
theplumbing business, do you 9s-Town
Toplca.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

Birgs- Is your friend Speaks suc
cess ON the lecture platform7
Diggs Sure. He has the faculty OF
making his audience believe he knows
as much as they do.--Chicago Daily
News.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
why No s,sar@ or.

soks-Wrll. I've stopped drinking.
6oosl!eigh--I am giad TO hear ia
IL Il much to your eredst.
sokc Ne-ttss because my erelll has
run out BalsimeEs American.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
uadeF CrrtaIa ctr~um.tmner.

"tio You think a young man shouls
marry on a small income 90
"oh. can see no objection to ID. II
he has reached an understanding with
herfather. Philadelphia North Amer
lean
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

MiiAgan-pid yea convince Casey
thot be we're In thewrnngS
Mulligan-ui dinnaw IL oi convinced
him. but Oh med him own up TO it
n. Y. Journal.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
just the Naked Truth.

Mrs. Jones-Men never know how
much they owe 10 their wives. Now
there's Mr.. Bank, who is praised by
everyone as a successful man, but what
would he have been II he had never mar
ried?
Mr.. JoneS-A bachelor, dear.-Tit-
Bits.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
U.aally.

What does IL mean when they sa,
an army is deeimateds''
"oh' that's when ten per cent. ars
Killed or wounded and ~ per cent
run.~-p puea.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

what do you sell that ribbon for?'
asked young lady in High street dry
goods store.
Eight dollars a week-oh beg par
don, IS cents yard, madam. - Colum-
bus (0.l State Journal.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
Her Dilemma.

She viewed the result OF her baking,
And remarked with tears In her eyes
III IT'S angel cake I've been making
wonder why II doesn't riseTt
Chicago Daily News.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

He seeks some big, old fashioned stove,
And snuggles down behind It,
For IL he goes out hunting work
He's pretty sure to find It,
Chicago Tribune
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
Isaraslnn the ntnn.

You say that the Clergyman is re.
sponsihie for all yosr trouble--how is
taatg''
well. he narrIesl ne."--Tit-rsit..
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
Life.

Man builds tatl easiest storms swssp by
And blot their towers from the sky;
lie aigs deep esllars. boana 10 win,
Hut, "a he nmpha. they cave iai
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
A Mere ImItator.

"Yaas," he said, II weally am begin
ming 10 believe she is twying to make a
fool of me-
SWELL, that's just like her." she
unused. "she never tried to do anything
In her life until somebody else had gone
and done it."-Chicago Times Herald.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
contuxaI Tnunt..

CharIie-You never cared for me.
enny-Why did 1 marry you. then7
Charlie-From motives of gratitude.
Jenny Gratitude! Gratitude for
what?
Gratitude for having made You your
only proposal of marriage.-Harlem
Life.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
The smile cur~

Oft when a man Ia feeling blue
girls sweet smile can pull him through
But then the girl. we may assume,
Must be the one that caused his gloom.
Chicago Record
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
A sIlMha MInnnarr.tnn.ainu

she-l snlposs yoa were prv&enttsi
at court whSie in LoEdon9
he~Nss. twice. bur | was acquitted
hath I'm Chicago Daily News
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

Mrs. Greene-Who is that pretty-girl
over there? Why, she Is really be-
witching.
Uncle George-Why, that is the
woman your husband used to rave
about SO.
Mrs. Greene--I wonder what he could
have seen In her?-Roston Transcript.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

The ecrensricity Of genius Is one thing;
the fualishness Of mediacr1ty quite another
Ii "a one thing 70 have your farm muddy now
snd then: another to have il all swamp
Hudor GenoEe
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
The Dehtor'. soItIouux

'Twere sweet to be a merry bird
And carol. day by day.
He sings his notes, as you have heard,
But hasn't one to pay.
--Washington Star.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
Merely q ConIrrtwrr.

No doubt 'tls from the wondroua command
or speech the fair sex among.
That the Language OF eur native land
Is known as the mother tongue.
IN. Y World
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

No word is aftsner on the lips Of men than
"fFiendship," aud. indeed. no thought IS
more familiar to their aspirations. All mea
are dreaming oi il. 1t Is the secret Of the
universe -ThoreAn
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
NJ 70, R |
G1f(TJTIT5 221k7Y sla


Gentlemen OF the jury" said blum
dering counsel, in an action about some
pigs. there were just 36 hogs in that
drove; please to remember that fact
30 hogs-just exactly three times as
many as there are in that jury box.
gentlemen.
That counsel did not gain his case
Tif-Rits.-
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
HI. hlttIr nxrr.iuht.

How l hate pugs." he said.
"Slrt" she replied, eoidiy.
Il refer TO dogs, not noses" he mad e
haste 10 assert. after quick glance Il
hcr.-Chieago Post.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
Hit Hla Pncixethnnk-

Hixon tat the reception That's stun.
ming gown your wife has on.
Dixon--Yes: il almost knocked me cents.
leSs.--Ehicago Evening News.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
Grewmome.

They scared me with hobgoblIns
When | Was a little lad.
They scare me now with microbes,
And they're pretty near as bad.
~~NaAhtnKEau star
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

Tea never mest saiae ussn that tA&v do
ret ask wa to take : chance IN a rasts.-
AtcAisou G5nhe
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

helseve Pise's Cure fer Ccasusaptisa
sarsn ms aeS itse last SUE TasF Mrs. Ale
DesxlAss lsEey. M.eA.. oes. %. ID.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

A Dose In Time Saves Nine of HaIe's
Honey OF Horehannd ard Tar for Colds
Ptke's roctaaohe Drops Carr. in one mia ute
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

Ignorance Is hlank sheet on which We
may writes bat sFror IL = scrihhled one on
which we must first erase Cotton.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24

Sweat and fruit aeids viii NOT disro'or
gaasis dysd With ~ fNAM FADELESS
DYES. Sod by all druggists.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-02-24
ONE or Tmn OTHER soar.

$50 your son has not gone to fight
the Beers. Mrs. Todd?"
"Nn, sir; It's name I've heard your
reverence called by, and my Joe hasn't
come down to fighting parsons yeti
Ally Sloper.