New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1900-11-16
THE TALK OF THE DAT.

"Apropos Of funerals" writes a London CORE
spondent of The Boston Transcript II noticed
Holborn showcase full OF strange looking pict-
Upon inspection they proved he photo
graphs of cadavers, laid out in full mortuary
splendor. Underneath ran the legend. Economy in
funerals. Try three guinea respectable inter-
ment One trial only asked Scarcely less grew
some the display of Mr.. Smith surgeon dentist
a few doors beyond, small showcase incIosed a
complacent skull. grinniug perhaps TO think his
dental trials were set with imposing ar
ray of pink gummed artificial teeth 10 shillings
the set. over the top of the case were painted
these alluring words: 'DsColored decayed tee
made white and stopped. -"
This letter" said the counsel for Mrs. De Worse
lis a forgery II not written by my client
and in fact, II is evident it was not written by a
What proof have you of that asked opposing
simply this: There is no postscript and the sew
eral pages run right along in the regular order
Philadelphia Press
DR.. Stubs, the Bishop OF Oxford was once inn
portuned by woman who. knowing his experience
of the Holy Land kept asking him what places
she ought to visit she starting on a trip to
Palestine. After answering typographical questions
without number. he was again asked But. really,
what place would you advise me 10 go TOP TO
Jericho madam said the Bishop sweety.
Americans are so drolIr' the visiting Tordoror
wrote In his notebook Il heard one Of them saw
this morning that he had a corking good time last
dered appearance that he had had an uncorking
good time. "-(Chicaso Tribune.
\ talesman who called in a murder trial in
Kansas asked whether he had any prejudice
against alib plea on the part of a man accused
OF crime. The talesman replied that he had not
do you fully understand what is meant by the
term alibt?'' he asked. Il think do; YES sir :,
What do you understand by it?'' The taIesman
reelected for a moment and then. with a hes-
indicative of graveness, replied: AN albi-
is when the fellow who did 1t wasn't there"
\ five-year-od boy went with his mother to make
children, tcld him she meant TO ask his mother to
would let me buy you?'' she asked ' ''''''ef
NO, ma'am,' answered the little fellow you
haven't got money enough"
How much would IT take?" she continued.
as if that would settle the matter at once }nr an
"Oh. we'll, then. said the woman, II think can
manage it. II can, will you come and stay with
NO. maam." he said. with decision Mamma
and mamma wouldn't like to break the set"-(Buf-
falo Enquirer.
This is literal copy of what the PLAINTIFFS attor-
ney indorsed Potion against the Illinois
centeral Raai Road Companeny': II the plaintiff
W S who under p years of age and her
Son and his father is dead 2nd says that said
defendany by its agents and servents or i'm
poyees to w.t. one mr. Taylor did on or about
January 1900 have arrested and fouIceIey
imprisoned for him said W S SevereI DAYS and
Knights in the Princeton Jail County of CalweT Ky
says said Companey by its agent or servents or
imployee of said Companey defendant illinois
centeral RAIL Road Companey did gave Whiskey
to Said Boy W S and made him Drunk and
unconscious and helpless and While in this condi-
sion put Said Boy in Said Jail depriveng him of
mis- free right of liberty. and thereby in the dam
age to the Plaintiff in the Some of Nineteen hun
dered dollars
Il tell you sir" said the silver Democrat 1.-The
tendency of this Administration toward imperial
ism is proved by the favor i'll which il is held by
all foreign imperialsts'
You hold then, that the real imperialIst cotIn-
tries are anxious for competition, do you?' de-
manded the man of sense.
What's that?"
why. II we go after empire We will come
an eennict with them. won't We? And they'll like
~ VI course II Just tickles them to death to think
IhaI we re developing a policy and strength that
may .aSx,t hltertere with their pet plans"
why don't you talk sense % demanded the sill
We. democrat. angrily.
L.. anu why don't you give these alleged IMPERIAL
ISL countries credit for having little sense in
10 encourage rivals?' F" w SeeNi"s
r,b 6u, OF course nothing came of the discussion
Viction.-(Chicago Post A oPe" " eon-