The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-08-08

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assured of victory. Gentlemen of the con
or Clarissa, | mean-I present for your
consideration the name Of Augustus &.
Blank
He was nominated by suffocation,
while the permanent chairman upstairs
raped in vain for order.-Indianapo polls
Sun.
\ Mysterious Achievement.-"D you
believe there is such thing as clairvoy
ance?' inquired the matter-of-fac
fl. end.
We'll" answered the man who hes
tates, L won't say there is any such
a man go to pile Of cantaOupes and
pick out s.x. and everyone of them was
good to eat."-Wash ngton Star.
A Jesuit priest now in South Africa
writes to the boys in the New York col
leee, where he was formerly a professor:
Nine in the blessed language IS dihera
manwnamgwaheia, but this is nothing
to 900. which is mashum4 anna gduamah-
IA manwanamangwahela -anamaShu-
mihamahera ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS go
wakadiheranamanwanamgWhahela.'
-:O:-
Senator Thomas H. Carer of Montana
and senator. Beveridge Of Indiana are
probably the two most illustrOus book
agents in the world. says the Saturday
Evening Post. Each man at one stage
in his early life sold books for a living
Senator Carter managed the National
Repubiican committee in 1892, and was
prominent figure at the recent Phila
dclphia convention.
Slnce his election as senator, Mr.. Car
ter has acquired and maintained the rep
utaton of being one OF the best story
telers in Congress. His anecdotes are
incident that has come within his own
obse rvation. In appearance the senator
looks more and more. like Uncle Sam,
brought up to date. His alwart frame.
rudy face, smooth lips and pointed
beard would do for an artists model
Not long ago Il stranger in Washing
ton who had heard much about Senator
Garter said to an employee of the Sen
ate: Il heard Carter tel his famous
'hOld-up' story at my hotel lat night. l
didn't think much of it.
Are you sure it was Car,cr?' asked
the employe somewhat obviously.
Certain He looked as if he had
stepped out Of political cartoon. You
couldn't mistake him, and l know the
Story by heart"
What did the crowd do?'
Nothing. There wasn't even smile.
My friend" said the Senate man pity
ingly. you've been deceived by some
vulgar impostor. When Tom Carter tells
his 'told-up' story the crowd has got to
laugh"
Callcr--"Where did you say, madam,
your husband had gone to spend the
evening"" Madam Ga little hard of hear
ingi-"I didn't understand him exactly,
but | think he said he was going to at
tend soaker." Richmond Dispatch.
THAT old man goin by said the
landlord of the tavern at Iaphank to the
summer man, indicating with a jerk OF
his thumb a bent and timewOrn figure
that was doddering down the village
street. lis Uncle Zimri Tarpy. He's lived
here all his life-'most eighty-six years"
Him. commented the city man. with
mild righteousness. He must like it
, here pretty well by this time
'Oh, yes; he says he guesses he'll
make this village his permanent resi-
dence. The Smart Set.
An amusing anecdote is told in a book
Just published relating to events near.
Paris in 1870.
The Prussian King and crown prince
were at Versailles and one day the latter,
returning, wished to know if the King
also had come back to his temporary
abode so he inquired Of the sentinel who
was posted in the antechamber The sen
tinel. a raw Saxon, replied cheerfully
Yes. your royal highness, little daddy
(Papachen) has just gone in
The crown prince, seeing that the man
ing to have him punished, stopped and
said half aloud to his adjutant, Il wor-
der If he is drunk
The Saxon. overhearing. Immediately
presented arms and observed:
AS to that. your royal hghness, l did
not notice anything.
What could be done but to send the
man for instruction in department:
TO-:
His Rowing Experiencc.-A Pittsburg
physician who thought of taking his col
Ored servant with him III projected fish
ing trip Intercepted him as to his ac-
Quaintance with aQuatics. After a few
preliminary questions he asked: Have
YOU ever rowed. James," Only on the
cyahs, sah.'-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
He-'I know your family does not like
me, but-will you be my wife,
She-"Well, l should s>y not"
He He (taken aback)-"Whew. That's
She-'.I repeat I should say not but
she should I'll say yes."-Catholic
Standard and Times
Mr.. Wallabout-''I suffer fearfully from
insomnia
DR.. Barstein-"Do you?''
Mr.. Wallabout-"Yes. / can't even
sleep in church. '-Somervile Journal
DO you see that bald-headed old fell
low there by the Window" inquired the
Daddy Skeeter of the bluebOttle fly.
Yes, l see him." buzzed the bluebot-
tie.
We'll, that's the man I'm just aching
to get even with. He hit me a nasty
swipe yesterday when l was playing
shoot -the-chutes on his high forehead.
He ought to know that there isn't any
harm III male MOSQUITO"
of course there isn't" buzzed the
bluebottle. But what are you going to
do about it?''
I'm going to keep an eye on him until
my wife gets home She's been down
here Oh the lake shore with a lot of camp
'ers, and she's picked up seven different
kinds Of malaria. Just wait until she
bites the, old brute once.'-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
-:O:--
Auntie-'Whom do you love best?''
DOl1V-"MHmma - ssIho ,ox-4 I.Vo,,