The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-09-07


talk with their fingers Eek.
The proprietor of the quick lunch cafe:
Here, Stubby, sit ready to tackle dat
Teller dat's just comm in
Thr waiter: DE one in tn shirt
waiSt?'
The proprietor: "Dat's dc ONE
IN" WAITER: Say, he's bigger dan
me-
The proprietor: 600 long. Don't YOU
kctch on: I've hired dat TELLER by dc
hour to come in here in his ShirtwaiSt
an ct thrown out and come back and
get thrown out again, an den sue me
fer ten thousand, see? ] amt il goin' to
have desc high-clasS grub joints moncIo-
HIN all de free advertiser. FIX.
, In" following is pretty story cf the
PRINCESS of Wales and one of the wound
says "a London correspondent. The prince
and PRINCESS not long ago visited Netley
hospital, in which some Of the earlier VIC
TINS or the war are now under treat
mrnt. The princess, in the course OF her
tour. kept cXclaiming: oh. this terrible.
had been shot through the right Cheek
the bullet carrying away with it the
teeth and the greater portion of the jaw
The tellder-hcartetl princess WAS much
moved at the mans Suffrriny and she
said t. him: "Poor iell>v: Cam YOU
manage t" smoke at all?'
The man said: Yes. your royal high
hess.
The PRINCESS Immediately turned to- the
rn his Shoulder, said: XVIII XVIII: YOU "'' let tam" r
have your cigarette caSe:''
IN" prince smilin@ly gave it 20 the
Princess. who: taking cut all 1hv cigar
':tr~, handed them to the delighted
wounded man. saying: "Smok. these,
1ny fine fcllcw: l think they are good
ones: at least / know the prince enjoys
them. May You do the same"
A Young woman recently answered an
advertisement for q dining room girl. and
III" lady OF the house seemed pleased
with her. says the Seattle roSt-ln1elli-
Genccr. But before engaging her there
were some questions to ask.
suppose. said the lady-"now. only
suppose. yo'? Understandings, YOU were,
carrying piece OF steak from the kitvh-
en- and by accident should let it slip
vow do in such a casc?'
The girl looked the lady square in the
eyes for 4 moment before asking: lis
1t z private family, or are there board
rrS?''
"R"arder>. answered the lady.
flck 1t up and put it back on the
r]ate firmly replied the girl
She was engaged.
She isn't very expert :>tcnoSrarher.'
SAid one Young woman, land yet the
political ura!or for whom she takes die
taioll has raised her salary three times
Ibis year.
EYES," answered the other. "shr isn't
expert, but sine is clever. She told me-:
;hont it. Sd" always gigglc> ont loud
when SHE tnnleS to any portion Of Il
speech that he obviously intends +, h,.
funny Washington Star
At Eamsbury manor there once .csid-
Cd a poulterer's family Of the name Of
Duck. The third son was to be christ
encd and the mother wanted the name to
be William. Just before starting TO
church the nurse ran uls<tairS to the ia
cali I'M, nurse?' Missus saws VS. # H y tx b b"
William.' was the reply. "William be
bloWcd, said the invalid. 'call IN plain
Rlll.' In accordance with these laconic
Instructions the nurse gave the name Of
P1ainbill to- tho clergyman. and the in
FAINT was christcned accordingly Ono
lltchner of Peckham was named under
the following circumstances: On arriv-
ing at the church his name Was not set
tied upon, and when the clergyman said
"Nalne this child,' one IF the friends
said "John,' and another said. "Oh. no"
meaning not John; and as no one else
spoke the clergyman thought that was to
br his name, and baptized him Ono.
Fuddy-''.A fellow cant think much Of
q girl to eat onions Just previous to call
ing upon her.
Duddy-"Oh, I don't know. It may
be he is 80 sure OF her ht doesn't care:
or, perhaps, there could be- 10 stronger
proof of his devotion than The fact that
ne could not keep away even after cat
ing onions. "--RostHn Transcript.
-:u:-
The following Whistler story is tv], by
Justin Mccarthy:
wv hiStlcr-'thr MASTER a. his follow
crS delight to cali hin--Wa> once paint
ing a Portrait Of Il distinguished novelist.
who was extremely clever but also vx-
trcmrly. ill-favure,: When the portrait
ish,d with it. You don't seem I. like
it, Whistler said. The sitter confessed
that he did not, and said in self juStitica-
ticn: You must admit thar it is Il bad
work of art Yes Whistler replied:
bat ! think you must admit that YOU
are {; bad work OF nature.
Observing the manager Of the drug de-
partment. the woman accosted him. in /;
spirit of badinage.
Il have klcptomania,' she said. what
would you advie me to takc?'
THE elevator, by all means" said the
manager wittily.
And not something just as good?" ex-
claimed the woman, affecting great sur
prisc.-Detroit Journal.
Alfred (whose sportive opportunities
have been limited by parental decree):
Papa, what does it mean by base On
bal]s?''
Papa (who is reading an account Of
the latest heavyweight fight: ALFRED,
you could better employ yourself with
your Sunday school lession. I'm too
busy now to EXPLAIN
Alfred (stll thirsting for knovledge):
did it mean the same as base on balls
when you telcphoncd last night that as
mamma was away you were to go out
on a bat?"
Mamma (who is always listenins):
'Benjamin Ridgely, you will take time
right now to make two explanations
with the most important one coming to
me. '-Denver News.
All, me!