The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-01-31

among the submerged tenth are even
more interesting than those he has told
in print
Once while talking with grizzled old
woman, who lived in the same tenement,
he referred to the Queen.
On, 'ow l would like to be the Queen"
said the ancient beldame.
Why?' asked Mr.. Whiteing.
;. IT isn't because of her 'orses, because
II were Queen / would ave donkey
cart with red wheels; and it isn't because
OF her band of musicians on horseback
which goes ahead of the 'orse guards, for
la much rather ave a Hitalian with 4
ana organ; but just think, if she wakes
up at o'clock in the morning and wants
oite to eat she can touch a bell and ave
peer and boiled cabbage right away
=. factory girl visited a collection Of
antique sculptures, and on her return Mr..
Nhlteing asked her:
how did you like the statues?''
None too much at first, sir, because
nearly all of them We're shamelessly
dressed. That made me made, until |
thought that they wuZ awfully poor in
them days and didn't ave money TO buy
clothes with Then do you know / felt
real bad because there wasn't single
hdy in the whole bloomin lot of them
what al bonnet to her name"
The late Rev. DR.. James Martineau
was wise before his time. 1t is related
that when his mother, returning from
cnurch one evening, having left her chill
dren at home to read the Bible, asked
James what he had read, he replied:
isaiah" 'Why you could not have read
the whole of Isaiah?" Yes, mother. /
have, skipping the nonsense"
The hero and the dragon in the Wag-
ner trllogy fell into a discussion while
they, stood waiting for the heroine to
hnlSh singing her aria.
One would imagine observed the
hero, from the way you scowl and emit
hre from your nostrils that you are not
altogether happy"
No" replied the dragon. ''To be per-
fectly candid, | do not find the strenuous
Ire by any means what it is sometimes
cracked uD to be-
At this point further conversation, ex-
cept by the society people in the boxes,
was rendered impracticable by the OBJ
truslve tloridity of the orchestra ton >
Detroit Journal.
Scene-Platform on North British rail-
way station. Farmer, pipe in mouth APP
proaches train which has just arrived,
and enters compartment in which a
rather pompous-looking individual is
seated. AS soon as the train started the
swell orders the farmer to put out his
pipe, which order he CURLY refused. do
you know who | amp asked the swell
Ma" We'll, am Mr.. -. factor to
tne ., Duke OF =. And ken We wha |
well, I'm Sandy McTavish, farmer, and
servant ia nae man.
One of the old high-backed sleighs
marked 1899. drawn by a shaggy white
horse, came down from Greene this week
and was going down Lisbon street pretty
fast, followed by a rough and-ready
shepherd dog from the farm, when the
dog suddenly stopped square and bolted
right in front of the Blue store. and
began to smell Of the nard, frozen snow.
He stopped so suddenly that many of the
people watched him and wondered what
it was all about. Then he began to dig
down toward the paving, and as the snow
flew back between his feet, and he con-
tinually stopped to smell of the snow,
every one wondered what the fellow had
found. and what he thought he could
rake up in the middle of the street. In
the meantime the 1899 sleigh had gone
down the street, and the farmer, motto
ing that the dog was not following him,
had returned, and tried to call him off,
but he wouldn't give up. but kept on
digging in the hard ice and SNOW. At last
he struck a paper bundle, and fifty peo-
pie gathered round to see what it was,
while the dog eXcavated the snow around
with q great deal of care. Finally he
took up bundle of sausage that some
che had dropped from team and trotted
off after the ancient sleigh. He was
cheered as he disappeared.-Lewiston
(Me.) Journal.
One bitterly cold day a gentleman met
an old woman going to market i'll her
and noticed she was CRYING.
What are you crying for, my good
womenY' said the kind-hearted gentle
man.
Il be so cauld' she replied.
why not get out and walk, then, and
get warm
Nav. thank'ee, sir. Aid sooner raid
and crahr ANSWERS.
When a young man, the late John
Lewis, Il. A., went to India and Egypt,
and was away about eighteen years
When he returned to his mothers house
in Portland place he almost Immediately
pulled off his boots and commenced to
hunt about at one end OF the parlor
fender, and seemed terribly put about
His mother, of course, asked him anx-
iouslv what he wanted.
My slippers" said he when / went
away / left them just down there. Now,
where are they ?'-Tit-B
---:O:---
Nirvana "a little girl. who was trying
to tell friend how absent minded her
grandpa was), said: He walks about
thinking about nothing, and when he re-
members it he then forgets that what he
thought of was something entirely diff
ferent from what he wanted to remem
Der. Golfers Weekly.
-:O:--
A country parson was called to London
on business few days before Christmas.
Previous to his departure some ladies of
his congregation requested him to pur-
chase an illuminated text for the decora-
ton of the church at Christmastide;
which he promised to do. When the rev.
erend gentleman's business in town was
concluded. he bethought him of his com
mission, and likewise that he had for
gotten the words and measurements re-
CURED. He wired at once to his wife for
these particulars, and received in answer
the following message by telegram:
Unto us q child is born; six feet long;
two feet wide
Critic-"I must congratulate you on
the villain of your play. He leaves the
impression of having been drawn from
the life" Author-"He was | may say