The Leon reporter., 1900-03-08
sTORYETTEs.

One day Tim Murphy's Irish servant
maid asked her masters permission to
attend the wake of her favorite cousin
Leave was granted to her and Norah
graced the melancholy feast clad IN
her Sunday best. Soon after that
wake size announced to Mr.. Murphy
that she would have to leave at the
end of the month.
What's the matter" asked Tim
who did not like changes in his house.
hold, and had rather taken a fancy to
his buxOm Irish servant, who was al
ways good natured and faithful about
her work. do you want more wages
or a day more to YOURSELF"
"Oh, no, SIR" said Norah quickly,
"but I'm going to be married to my
cousins widower."
'.Isn't it rather sudden, Norah, {"
qucth Murphy.
Its suddint to me, SIR" answered
Norah, 'sbut it amt to him. He says l
was the life of the wake, sir, and he
marked me while he was mourning"
A young lady Of the city, who is
somewhat noted for her coquetry, was
talking few days ago to one of her
numerous beaux, relates the Memphis
Scimitar.
toh," she said, in most pitiful tone
of voice, nobody loves me-"
As she paused for reply the young
man said with that tenderness which
always appeals to the feminine heart:
II am quite sure that somebody does
love you.''
Her face frightened very perceptibly
as she said with a great deal of
interest:
I wonder who on earth it can be.
Do you know"
"oh, yes" he replied. "God and
your mother" &
A former commodore-captain of a
famous transatlantic line, while polite
and friendly to his passengers when
below, was very much the reverse if
approached when on duty. AS he hap
pened to be on deck one fine after
noon, a lady, quite unaware of this pc
culiarity, accosted him with some
tr'fing query as to the probable dura-
tion of the favorable condition of the
weather, and was both surprised and in
dignant to get curtly answered:
Don't know, madam-don't know.
Better go ask the cook"
The lady, though taken somewhat
aback, was quite equal to the occasion
and rejoined:
''oh, beg thousand pardons. Ex-
cuse me, pray, thought was address
sing the cook"
An old farmer who was in the habit
of eating what was set before him,
asking no questions, dropped into a
cafe for dinner. The waiter gave him
the dinner card and explained that ii
was the listof dishes served for dinner
that day. The old gentleman began
at the top of the bill of fare and order.
ed each thing in turn until he had GOV.
cred about one-third of it. The pros
pect of what was still before him was
overpowering, yet there were some
things at the end that he wanted tc
try. Finally he called the waiter and
identially marking off the space.
on the card with his index finger, said
Look here, I've ct from thar to thar
Can skip from thar to thar and eat
on to the bottom?"
Cabs are run in Antwerp, Belgium
by the city. A yearly commutation
ticket costs $40, and the possessor OF
one can use it as often as he chooses,
every day in the year.
An odd way of removing his glasses
is practiced by Henry Clews, the New
York banker. Instead Of displacine
them with his fingers, he gives twist
to his nose, and down the glasses drop
to the limit of the string to which
they are attached.
Frank Gurley, of Stamford, Conn,
has a pet dog that possesses an appe-
tite for money. Gurley was teaching
the animal to fetch him little wads Of
paper which he tossed about the room,
Then Gurley rolled up a fve-dollar bill
and threw it into a corner. The dog
dashed for it, seized it with hismouth,
thought it tasted good, and swallowed
| it.
| WOn,an,s