Holbrook argus., 1900-10-06
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I'm accommodating too many books"
rs that so? Well, quit writing your
name in them, and you'll lose them fast
enough" -Indianapolis Journal
''They say Miss Singleton is a trans
migrationist." Eyes! She thinks she
must once have been the wicked flea
whom no man pursuethp'-Life.
Fair Painter-I hope you don't mind
my sketching in your field? Farmer
Lord, no, missile! You keep the birds
off the peas bettern a. ordinary scare
CRATER must have turned over O
new leaf. He tells me he's working
night and day." Eyes, that's the firm
he's with now" "WhatT "Knight &
Day. Press.
Hoax-I understand the doctor said
yesterday that there was very little
hope in your rich uncle's case. Joax-
It's even worse to-day. He's very much
Observation-Disclosures Record.
Shocking: '"They say the young man
Melissa Perkins is goin' to marry Is q
regular paragon" Land sakes! Do
tell! thought he was clerk in gro
cery."-Chicago Times Herald.
What do you suppose makes your
baby sister cry sop asked visitor Of
small Johnny. 81 guess it must be
cause she is hatchin' her teeth" re-
piled the youthful observer.-Chicago
Nsws.
School Teacher-What little boy can
tell me where is the home of the swal-
low? Bobby-I kin, please. School
iTeacher-Well, Bobby? Bobby-The
home of the swallow is the stummick.
-Tit-Bits.
Doctor-What you need is change
and rest. Patient-I can't afford it.
My incomes pretty well requisitioned
already. My children get all the change,
and my wife gets the rest-Philadel-
phia Press.
Georgy ION the warpath)- Eddy,
did Harry hit you? Eddy-No. Georgy
Did Jimmy hit you? Eddy-Nope.
Georgy-Well, if nobody hasn't hit you
I will. I've got to lick some one.-Chi-
All that He Asked: Miss Lulu Elan
nigan-I will give yez my answer in q
month, Pat. He-That's right, me dar-
lint; TEX plinty av time to think it over.
But tell me wan thing now-will it be
yes or no?-Judge.
! Old Lady pointing to elevated rail-
iroad)-Where do them cars go to? City
Man (hurriedly)-Almost anywhere you
want, ma'am. Old Lady-Land sakes!
1 thought they had to stay .'u she rails.
New York Weekly.
Fuddy-They have a deal to say
about the brotherhood of man." and
yet wars and rumors Of wars continue.
Duddy-That's all right. There always
has been. more or less fighting in fam
ilies.-Boston Transcript
Tess-So she's to marry the son of the
wealthy Mr.. Millyuns. How on earth
did she manage to land him, wonder?
Jess-She's musical, you know, AID SO
it's no trouble at all for her to catch an
heir.-Philadelph Press.
A Matter of Necessity: Wife-John,
you don't mean to tell me that you shot
this poor little bird with that great big
gun? Husband-Yes, dear; I'm sorry
to say 1 had to. 1 couldn't get near
enough to put salt on its tail.--Philadel-
Iphia Press.
Proud Parent-If you call in the even
ing you probably will hear my daugh-
ter singing. Artless Friend-Oh, I
sha'n't mind that. You ought to hear
the fellow down our way practicing on
the cornet. 1t is simply awful.-Boston
Transcript.
MY boy" said the first proud papa,
"has a bad habit of interrupting me
when Pm talking. Your boy isn't old
enough for that yet" NO." replied
the other, my boy contents himself
with interrupting me when I'm sleep
ng"-Philadelphia Press.
1--WE got up another crowd and ran
away from those people We camped
out with last year." "Did they dis
cover it," Huh! When we arrived
at the ground we found they had made
up another crowd and had run away
from us. "-Indianapolis Journal.
Ratios of Travel: Mike" said Plod-
ding Pete, do you believe in dis six
teen to one?" Sometimes / do" an
swered Meandering Mike, ian some
times 1 don't. 1t depends on whether
it's sixteen meals to one mile or six
teen miles to one meal. "-WashiEg
Star.
Mrs. Moveabout-Yes, I like that
house you sent me to see. 1t will be
much cooler for the summer, but the
dining-room is only half as large as this
one. Mr.. Moveabout-So much the bet
ter. 1t will only be possible for half az
many flies to get into it.-Philadeiphia
Press.
"eAfter all your talk about sensational
journalism exclaimed the fly on the
edge Of the sugar bowl, "I'm surprised
at youw "What about?" gasped the
captured fly, vainly endeavoring to ex.
tricate himself from the sticky trap
"Well, 1 notice that paper you're stuck
on now is decidedly rllow."-Philadel
phia Press.
At Garden Party: Miss Vera Clas
sic-How many languages do you
speak? Mr.. Orr D. Nary-Six-English
hahv talk. bill-of-fare French, society