The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-11-07
MR.. B0wSeR's TRlsULATI0ss.
He KEEPS n Little Political secret frsH
Mrs. Bswser.


Mr. Bowser had been as good as pie IN
the evening. but that ne was also nervous
ard restless had not escaped Mrs. Bow
ser's attention. There were several things
he could have picked up a row about, but
didn't. The cook burned the steak. but
he never noticed It: the gas Tin had come
IN and lay in plain sight, but he did not
pick IL up: castor had worked out OF the
leg of chair. but he put IL hack without
word of comment on carelessness and
destruction. Mrs BOwser couldn't help
but know that something was wrong. and
she finally querfed:
Have you got one OF your headaches
to-night?'
Not the slightest headache" he replied.
But you don't feel exactly wellg'
Never felt better in my life"
His goodness continued till bedtime, and
then he announced that he would sit up
an hour later to overhaul certain ac-
counts. He assumed very innocent look
over II. but Mrs Bowser was not 10 be de-
ceiVed. When she reached the head of
the stairs she sat down 10 see what would
happen For few minutes after her dis
appearance Mr.. Bowser sat and contem-
plated the cat I'm an absent-minded way.
and then he got up. peeled of his coat and
Now, then, TO tackle that speech. I'm
bound to make one or bust The idea
that I've lived to my age without making
a political speech is all blamed nonsensel
Here goes. l am brought out and intro
duced as the Hon. Bowser; 1 bow; / am
applauded to the echo; / draw a long
breath and begin:
Fellow-citizens: As men of intellI-
gence and as patriots anxious for the vel
fare OF our country, we have assembled
here this evening TO take counsel to-
gether Nong pause) The question be-
fore US IS vital one. pause and cough
ing, with meow from the cat) I do
not say that the life Of this republic hangs
IN the balance pause), but do say that
that"
Mr.. BOwser had got stuck. He walked
10 and fro and gestured and muttered b,,t
the words would not come. The cat Ie-
gan to howl, either in sympathy or fear.
ana Mrs Bowser heard him throwing a
magazine at her and threatening her nfe
IL was five minutes before he picked I'D
the thread agaia, and his tones showed
that he felt doubtful of his ability to CIR
ry out the job ia hand.
But / do say that If the majority of
the electors of this country make a mis-
take at the polls in November bloodshed.
bankruptcy, and anarchy may follow.
" bile we differ in particulars. we are
agreed upon whole. and that whole is
is pause) that whole fellow patriots,
is-that is-that is-er-'
II was another breakdown. A dog i'm a
neighbours back yard howled dismalIy
he. - IL
and dug her claws into the carpet and
wondered why she had not noted these
signs Of insanity before. Mrs. Bowser
could hear all the cuss words and the
heavy breathing. and she wondered IL Nc
Bowser would knock the face off the new
seven-day clock before he got through
with it. He walked about for awhile, and
then HIS mind seemed to suddenly grasp
the missing link.
with a determination mistaken by
prophecies Of evil. with a heart undaunt-
ed by danger. with his trust In a being
higher than man. Columbus finally SET
out on his memorable voyage. We give
him credit as a dscoyerer. but we fail
to give him credit-to give him credit
say We fail to giye-you will agree with
me that We fail to give him credit for
for"
Mrs. Bowser laughed till the tears
came. He mad wandered of on an old
speech he had once delivered before a
gang Of forty Italians, not one OF whom
could speak five words Of English. He
suddenly discovered that things didn't
match and stood staring at the wall and
wondering II the bottom OF the river had
fallen out. Even the cat. who was not
born until three years after that Italian
speech, recognized the fact that he was
working old stock of on her, and she
clawed ard spat and sent forth a wall
OF displeasure.
''By John. but I'll git that speech or
break my neckw muttered Mr. B0wser
as he went tramping around, and after
couple OF minutes his voice was heard
again:
Let us see what Mr.. Mckinley has
done; let US ses what Mr.. Bryan has
done. We must Judge men by their ac-
lions. There are, no doubt. citizens be-
fore me who argue to themseIves-wbo
argue io-who argue to themselves tstuck)
that-that the country will 90 on and
pTOspeT-and prosper, no matter who Is
elected President But let us-iet US
The belt had slipped OF the drive wheel
again, and Ar. Bowser jumped up and
down ;n his madness. and the cat rolled
over and over. The time and opportunity
for making the speech OF his life were
at hasd. but Mr.. BOWser couldn't make
the ole thing go along without wsbbie.
He finally got happy inspiration. He
had been too anxious. too nervous. He
would Eslmply open his mouth and let the
al skear,a ~
into shape " hile shaking with suppress
ed atghter and clinging 10 the banisief
To preSent falling down stairs airs Bow
ser he rd him saying.
"BuI did the SHOWS ana cold and hun
ger oil Valley Forge discourage the great
and nbhle heart OF our beloved Washing
ton? ENol Surrounded even by traitors.
rnenaded by enemies in Congress. having
TO ee4 with the British In front and In
s.borIlnatlon in his own camps that
grand hero never faltered. 0lOng pause)
WhenE spring cane-when-when spring
came / say that when spring came-and
when spring came he-he-he---"
II whs a portion OF an old essay he had
writseh and delivered as a sehoolboy The
cat gdt on % II and howlsd, a boy IN
back tard got on 10 IL and threw a potato
agalnJt the Bowger mansion with heart
thrilNtg smash. Ar. BOwEer himself got
on 70 H. and threw vase al the cat. and
made a mighty kick al chair and went
down with all his weight on the floor.
Th.ngt were stu rafting and yarrihg
when Mrs. BowssT started down stairs.
She whg Just in time 10 answer the ring
Of a pbiiceman. Who took Oh his hat and
said.
EXCUSE me- ma am. but / heard q
great noise and thought the hot water
boiler Tor the gas meter had blown up.
see Il Was only Ar. Bogser pr2cticing
with indian clubs or sonnet hing. Good
night. ma am. III Dc Ia front II you
should ind any bones broken and want
doct0r{'