Mesa free press., 1900-10-19
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ilize another Countrywide
An Anomaly: Eve-You can't make
bit Of an impression on that young
Marsh. May know it. It's strange,
| too, for he's so soft.-Philadelphi
Bulletin.
First Mosquito look cold. Why
your teeth are actually chattering.
What's the matter? Second Mosquito
just lit on girl from Boston.-Phila-
delphia Record.
Father-Who prepared this pudding
Mother Cooking at her daughters in
succession)-I mustn't tell-the author
desires to remain anonymous.-Meg-
gendorfer Blatter.
In the Lunatic Asylum: Keeper
This poor fellow used to be a famous
musician. Visitor-Ah! and now he's
"a wandering minstrel Philadelphia
Evening Bulletin.
"A man and his wife should be part
ners like business firm" eyes," an
swered the meek-eyed, silent partner,
"and I find my wife is firm enough
Kansas City Star.
"Norah, these are as heavy as Lead.
Didn't you tell me you knew how to
bake biscuit?' "Yis'm, an so do, but
I'm little shy on the mixin' av 'em,
mem" Chicago Tribune.
''But, mamma, If buy clothes first
l may not have money left to buy a
trunk" "Ethel, you haven't any busi-
ness sense at all; you can borrow a
trunk. k."-Chicago Record
Hoax--What's the matter, old man?
You look all cramped up. Joax-Tve
just been calling,on one Of those artistic
girls, and spent two hours in cozy
corner.--Philadelphia Record.
Unearthum-My wife talks, talks,
talks al 1.-The time. Henpeck- -Impos-
sible. She must listen part Of the time,
otherwise she wouldn't be so popular
with my Philadelphia Press.
First Traveller (cheerily)-F day,
isn't it? Secondtditto haughtily) Sir!
You have the advantage of me. don't
know you! First Traveler-Humph!
fail to see the advantage.-Exchange.
The Grip on Emergencies: 'What's
the difference between knowledge and
wisdom? swell, it takes knowledge
to build an automobile, but it takes
wisdom to run it."-Chicago Record.
The Prevailing Passion: Young Lady
MERCY me! When fast in the jungle,
you came face to face with tiger. GOO!
What did you do? Modern Traveller
(proudly)- Photographed it.-New York
Weekly.
"Why, L ask you," vociferated the ca
lamity- -shrieking orator, "are they hav-
| ing bread riots in Honduras?" Maybe
they've got tired Of bananas" hazarded
an earnest-looking auditor Chicago
Tribune.
a pair O. soospenders fer every pair O.
pants. Schwartz-Vell so hat I. Nc
Garigle-How many pair Of pants do
yez own? Observation-Disclosures
ter Union.
j Good Suggestion: ST wonder why
they don't name one of the new ships
the Mayfower? "What for?" "Why, so
that future generations can say their
ancestors came over on ."-Philadel-
phia Bulletin.
st suppose" said Miss Snaps fiance,
you'll be sorry when I marry your
sister and take her away to live with
me-" "No," replied her little brother.
81 never did like you much anyhow"
Philadelphia Press.
Impressed: HeI have just returned
from little railroad trip, and the seem
cry did me good. She-Nature was
grand, was she? He-Yes; and have
never seen the advertisements in more
gorgeous colors.-Bazar.
He looked at the picture and laughed
loudly. '"That's good" he said. "But
what does it mean?' she asked.
"Mean? Why, 1t doesn't mean any
thing" he replied. "Its just politi-
cal cartoon. Chicago Evening Post.
Brushe-Who is that solenn-looking
Individual? Penn-Thats Graves. He
writes patent medicine ads. A clever
chap he is, too. He can describe dis
ease SO that the healthiest man alive
will think he has got it.-Iat-Bits.
spa, why do they formally notify a
man that he is nominated for Presi-
dentY swell, mainly, think, SO that
he can't get up after he fails to be
elected in November and VOW he wasn't
lin politics at ll."-Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
"Aren't you ashamed to be an object
Of charity?" exclaimed the pedestrian.
'T amt no object Of charity" replied
iMeandering Mike, indignantly; "I'm a
| great moral an clvilizin' influence.
am a promoter OF philanthropy. "-<
Washington Star.
A Rude Shock: He-I know youz
family does not like me, but-wlll you
| be nv wife? She--Well, l should say