The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-11-30


rick answered his master. 4 came up
here, for something, but what in the
world that something was l cant recall
Was it to go to bed, Sir:' the servant
cheerfully inquired. THE very thing,
Patrick, the very thing; What an inva-
| liable person you are.'
Passengers Oh an outward-bOunu sub
urban train recently were the amused
auditors OF Il neat retOrt courteous.
Just before the train pulled out of the
! station Il well-dressed young man hur
ried into the car and flung himself down
III Il seat, carefully deposlting large
box, bearing the name Of Il Wcl-knOWn
tailor, in the >unoccupied seat beside him.
| when the One Hundred and Twenty
NTH street station was reached two
young men entered. Their manners bore
the stamp of de Ate.''
| There were other seats in the car, but
| the sight OF the box evidently troubled
the foremost of the two newcomers.
Turning around abruptly, he exclaimed
to the owner:
'Say> young Teller, dis amt no cattle
carr
The young man surveyed him in mute
SURPRISE for moment. and then replied:
"Sinre YOU realize this, why do YOU
insist upon intruding your presence on
the human cargo?'-EX.
The lecturer on health had finished his
| DISCOURSE and invited his auditors to ask
amy question they chose concerning
points that might seem t" need clearing
up. when lean, skinny man asked:
"rrofeSsor, what do you DO when yo;,
can t sleep at night:'
Il usually say awake. although OF
course everybody should feel ut liberty
to do otherwise Are there any other
Due<tons:" -The King.
In Il dull Scottish village on dull
morning one neighhor called upon an
other. Tie was met at the door 10y his
friends wife, ana the conversation went
thus:
"Cauld?' "Ay."
"Gaen to be weety. l think" "Ay.'
~" Is: John in; ',;,,, ~ &? ~, he's in''
But wanted to see him." ".Ay, but
you Gamma see him. Johns deiA.'
':Sudden?' "Ay'
Every sudden?" Every sudden"
Did he say onything about a pot of
green paint before he tcid ?'--Aneciote
by Ian MacLaren at a London Dinner.
! \ little girl Was looking out Of Il win
| dow when an autumn gale was blowing
After watching the wind and it's effects
for some time the child turned to her
mother and said:
Eyes. my dear" was the reply, "oc
course He did
"Humph:> responded the little one
''they are soon coming I" pieces again.
IVY dear Murphy" said. an Irishm,o
to his friend, ''Why did YOU bctray the
secret l told you?'
lis it bethrayin' YOU call it: Shure,
| Whin | found | wasn't able 10 keep it
myself, didn't, I do we'll 10 tell it to some
body who could?'
+ Secrets are poor property. If YOU CIR
! culate. them you lose them. and if you
| keep them you lose the interest on the in
! veStment.
What are you sealing up in that en-
velope so carefully Jones:"
"lmportant Instructions that forgot 70
give my wife before | came TO town this
morning. I'm going to send it up hOme'
xviii your wife open it ut once?''
..Katheer: I've made sure of that"
/ II have addressed it to myself and put
a big Private on the corner of the en-
| velOpe.'
accommodating friend Gin anger)-~-
nHa, you. married an heircss and still
have received no money.
A'to'ol- 1iul!. oul. ulllOrlnna1elE.
have spent all her dowry. You'll have to
wait now until | marry another" File
gendc Blaettcr
Il am here. gentlemen" explained the
| pickpocket to his fellow prisoners. AS
result Of a moment Of abstraction
And L. said the incenliary. be
cause: Of an nnfortunatc habit Of max
And l." chi med in the forgpr. ION
account Of a simple desire to make Il
name for myself.
And H. added the burglar. Through
| nothing but taking advantage of an
opening which was offered in Il large
mercantile establishment in town.
prctrnxe to a mu<fache.' said Mabel. '''''
Eyes," replied Bessie, the barber
shaved him by mistake. and so he lost
| his touchdown on account of Interfere
| enrc. -Harlem Life.
Soon after arrived in this country
on my present VISIT says Bishop Part
ridge (EpiscopaD Of kioto. Japan, who
is 4 graduate Of Yale, II was invited to
that | was to speak to the toast Of Yale
University When l arose in my turn
my fellow banqueters cried vociferously,
Meyer mind Yale. old man-talk to us
in Chinese I entered into their spirit,
| and for twenty minutes Grated in
Chinese. What did l say? Suffice it to
say that | spoke only the court dialect
The strangest part about it is that all
present seemed TO enjoy it even more
'Know anything about go}f?"
mot much. Why:'
'Whats bunker. do YOU know?'
Il suppose it's one OF those cranks that
simply live and sleep on the links.'- Uphill
adelphia Press.
When Rudyard Kipling was lad he