The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1900-11-08

q OIL OF an impression Oh ludt 5ouhB
Marsh. May-I know 1t. It's strange,
too. for he's so soft.-Philadelphia
Bulletin
First Mosquito-You look cold. Why
your teeth are actually chattering.
What's the matter7 Second Mosquito
just lit on a girl from Boston.-Pfila-
delphia Record
Father-Who prepared this puddinsf
Mother docking at her daughters In
succession)-I mustn't tell-the author
desires to remain anonymous.-Meg-
gendorfer Batter.
In the Lunatic Asylum: Keeper
This poor fellow used to be a famous
musician. Visitor-Ah and now he's
wandering minstrel.-Philadelph
Evening Bulletin.
"a man and his wife should be part
ners like business firm" "Yes," an
swered the meekeyed, silent partner,
land | find my wife is firm enough
Kansas City Star.
''Norah, these are as heavy as cad
Didn't you tell me you knew how to
bake biscuitY ''Yis'm, an SO do. but
I'm a little shy on the mixin' av 'em,
mem."-Chlcago Tribune.
But, mamma, If | buy clothes nrst
I may not have money left to buy q
trunk" Ethel, you haven't any busI-
ness sense at all; you can borrow .
trunk."-Chicago Record.
Hoax-What's the matter, old mani
You look all cramped up. Joax-Ive
just been calling on one of those artistic
girls, and spent two hours in a cozy
cornef.-Phlladelphia Record
Unearthum-My wife talks, taIkA
talks al 1.-The time. Henpeck-Impos
sible. She must listen part of the time,
otherwise she wouldn't be so popular
with my wtfe.-Philadelphia Press.
First Traveller (cheerlly)-Fine day,
isn't it? Second ditto (haughtily)-Slr
You have the advantage of me. don't
know youl First Traveler-Humphi
fail to see the advantage
The Grip on Emergencies: whats
the difference between knowledge and
wisdomr We'll. 1t takes knowledge
to build an automobile, but 1t takes
wisdom to run it."-Chicago Record
The Prevailing Passion: Young Lady
Mercy mel When fast in the jungle.
you came face TO face with a tiger. 0ool
What did you do? Modern Traveller
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES lt.-New York
Weekly.
why, ask you" vociferated the ca
lamity -shrieking orator, "are they hav-
ing bread riots in HondurasY Maybe
they've got tired of bananas" hazarded
an earnest-looking auditor.-Chicago
Tribune.
McGarigle-'Tis said thin doods has
q pair o. soospenders fer every pair o.
pants. Schwartz-Vell so haf L Nc
Garigle-How many pair of pants do
yez own? Schwartz-Vun.-Manches-
ter Union.
Good Suggestion: 81 wonder why
they don't name one of the new ships
the Mayfiower? 2" "What fort" why, 80
that future generations can say their
ancestors came over on it."-Philadel-
phia Bulletin.
81 suppose" said Miss Snaps fiance.
you'll be sorry when l marry your
sister and take her away to live with
me-" NO" replied her little brother.
II never did like you much anyhow"
philadelphia Press
impressed: He-I have just returned
from little railroad trip, and the seem
In Not
grand, was she2 He-Yes; and have
never seen the advertisements in more
gorgeous colors.-Bazar
He looked at the picture and laughed
loudly. That's good" he said. But
what does 1t meant" she asked.
"Mean? Why, 1t doesn't mean any
thing" he replied. ITS just a poliu-
cal cartoon. "-Chicago Evening Post
Brushe-Who is that solemn-looking
individual? Penn-Thats Graves. He
writes patent medicine ads. clever
chap he is, too. He can describe dis
ease so that the healthiest man alive
will think he has got t.-Tit-Bits
"Pa, why do they formally notify .
man that he is nominated for Presi-
dent?" well, mainly. think, so that
ne can't get up after he fails to be
elected in November and vow he wasn't
an notifies at all. "-Indianapolis Jour.
nal.
"Aren't you ashamed to be an object
of charityY exclaimed the pedestrian
sI Amt no object of charity" replied
Meandering Mike. Indignantly; I'm
great moral an civilian influence
am a promoter of philanthropy. -
washington Star.
A Rude Shock: He-I know yom
family does not like me, but-win you
10 NV wife? She-Well. should say
mott He-Whew! That's rather a
she-I repeat should say not but al
a Girl In love doesn't generally do a
sbe should, I'll say "Yes?-Ex.
c,idden-Your lawn always looks u
sne shape. How do you manage It
Intermediary enough. have tws
Growing boys, and | tell them ever
Az that they mustn't NEEDLE with th'
10 wn mower or the garden hose Ih'
result is that my lawn Is Wen snori
and well watered all the time. dos
ton Transcript
In proportion to population NortI
Berwick is said to be the weaitnies,
town In Scotland. 1t has an ahnua,
value of real property per inhapitan' o'