West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1900-03-22
COUnTSHIp OF
JEREMIAH C0OHSKIN,
The Correspondence Published for
the Benefit OF His Creditors.
IReported by Worthless Old bachelor. J
,xU<yxyxyxYD<YxYND~N
cooNsKIN's RRrLY--nE rRorosEs.

=
of his lady aequaintanees, presumably a
member of the same club of sockdarners, in
formed Cocnskin with a very knowing look
that his Jane was still at Rodamers.
why don't you 90 over there and sec
her. instead of moping around here with a
face as long as the moral law ?" she de
manded ''You haven't been eating an,
thing for week, aud your landlady is
making almost clear money off you. JUS,
show yourself as brave as your letters"
''Why. Betsy, | hadn't thought of such a
thing Will you tell me who she is staying
with over there, If help you GU, on your
algebra lesson aud throw in stick of
candy -
''Stick Of candy" was the scornful re-
sPonse. "Yes, I'll take the candy, but you
must also throw in ticket TO hear Byron
King when he is here next month. I'd ex-
pect you to take me, but know you are too
mortal stingy to buy two tickets. But Jane
will switch the s,inginess out of you, Jerry"
''But look here, Betsy, you won't want a
reserved seat will you Why il might cost
half dollar"
"Yes, want reserved seat. aud il will
be deserved seat, won't il. il you and Jane
come to terms"
"Ye-es, its go. But oh. my, girls are
so extravagant."
Coonskin then looked over the neckwear
at every store in town, and finally bought a
cent tie and 10 cent celluloid collar,
which broke in putting it on, and il had 10
be mended with a needle and string. He
borrowed 7Se. of Charley Wolf and Frank
Murdock, and went down TO the hotel where
he shaved himself, but owing to the state OF
his nerves he slashed his face in a dozen
places, and had to patch up the hicks with
court plaster. When this performance was
over with, he looked worse than il he had
broke out with measles and came very near
being quaran,ined for smallpox. He then
went into the kitchen and had the girls put
him up lunch which he stuffed into an
overcoat pocket, this making the pocket look
as though il had the dropsy. Next, he took
an umbrella from nail, without asking
whose the umbrella was, and slipped it un-
der the aforesaid overcoat.
AT the door he encountered the landady.
\ happy thought now found its way into his
muddled Uranium.
"Mrs. j." he splu,tered, "you don't
want to be partial, and if I go and get
er-er-m-m- married, will you do as well
by me as you did by Am. Eyerly."
''You get married Why don't you tell
me something 1 can believe
You must be moonstruck, man.
Your face is the color of picked beet
Yes, I'll do still better. I'll keep you and
your better half month and a week"
The next seen of Coonskin, he was going
down the street, making half rod at every
step.
THE PROPOSAL.
After wading through ten miles of mud,
more or less, jeremiah Coonskin stood at
the door Of uncle Joe's. From the time he
came in sight of the house, his knees began
to quake like Bclshazzars, and his pulse
crawled up until il reached IA, when he
knocked on the door Fortunately fol
him, it was not Jane but uncle Joe who
opened il, or the shock might have been
too great
( Just here there is missing link in the
narrative, which your reporter has not been
able to supply. But perhaps it does not
/ greatly matter. What follows, however.
came very straight" as the saying goes.
Ii happened 10 be one Of the very mildest
March days, and to get Miss Jane
away from the aunt and cousins who did not
just then particularly interest him, he pro
posed that they walk up the hill near tn,
house. C9onskin proposed to be hero fol
once in his life, and end the frightful sus
pense one way or the other. But he wa,
taken with severe relapse Of his nervous
spasms. and his heart was making time Iik,
the works Of clock with the pendulum
removed.
"say, Miss Jane. you remember what W,
were writing about -
"Perfectly"
"And you didn't think was only fool
ing ?"
But Jane Tim6nigan gave heathenisl
laugh.
"why, Of course did There's lots o.
fun m writing for amusement"
"Yes that's 50. Say. Miss Jane, do 20,
imagine Hayrick and Betsy lrskin will ge
married p"
shouldn't wonder. Hayrick is nic,
fellow. like him right we'll myself
"iIe isn't the only one, though"
BY this time, Coonskin thought the ten
I pera,ure Of the air had fallen considerably
lie was trying to decide whether Miss Tim
6nigan was not making game Of him. Bui
he summoned enough resolution to ATTACK
the subject again.
'1'd thought would"
/ Right here, Coonskin paused to clear hii
throat Tm6nigan looked on and smiled.
81 thought Id"
Another hem and haw
GERRY, you've got cold IN the head
have mt you +"
'Ycs, guess so, something, may be, but
it doesn't amount to anything"
'T.c,s 60 down and have aunt tx ul
something for it"
ono, blame the cold, its nothing"
'I)ont you think you had better tax,
some catnip tea AID then wrap up well with
a hot bottle Of cold water to your feet q
'Don4 make fun Of me Bennie. have mi
any more cold than you have"