Mexico Missouri message., 1900-05-10
THE DEVIL 81
" AS AN EDITOR.

several prominent men over the
state what they thought of the
idea. Governor John p. st.
John wrote:
have received yours of the 20th
ult., asking me to give my opinion
as to "IIow the devil would run n
paper" and in reply hereto de-
sire to congratulate You on your
excellent Judgment in selecting me
to answer that question, for my
familiarity with his Satanic Maj
esty enables me to impart to You Il
lot of information that the ordi-
nary pious man knows but little
about.
The first thing the devil would
do would be to write salutatory.
He would give it an intensely re-
ligious tone. He would shout for
"Old Glory" aud scream for liber-
ty, and pitch into the MormonS,
but would not say word about
the thousands of slaves, and our
government salaricd Sultan and
his seventeen wives under the pro-
lection of the American flag ON
the Island of Sulu. He would o.
pcnly favor bimetallism, and Sc
cretly work to put the government
on II single gold standard, He
would talk long and loud about
the peoples money" hut place
them at the mercy of the Rational
banks to get it.. He would declare
that the Cubans "were and of right
ought to be free" and then refuse
them their freedom. He would
denounce fraud and then send word
to the Gamers of rotten beef to
clean up and get ready to be white
washed He would stand quietly
by, aud, without even protest ,
see the organized trusts rob the
people of hundreds of millions am
nually and call it prosperity. He
would advocate the levying of Il
high tariff tax on the poor man 5
food and clothing and tell him il
was protection. He would be aS
quiet as Il graveyard while we were
burning negroes at the stake, and
punching their eyes out with red
hot irons, here in our own country,
but would make his columns speak
in thunder tones in favor of send
ing our soldiers eight thousand
miles from home to shoot our civ
ilization and Milwaukee beer into
the Filipinos. In II desperate fren.
zied effort of Il powerful monarchy
which has been robber and op.
pressor of weak nations. to crush
by brute force II weak people III
South Africa who are struggling
as our forefathers struggled foul
generations ago for the right OF
Selg government, the devil would
be on the side of monarchy, and
gloat over the downfall of the re-.
public. He would take his posi-.
ton i'll his newspaper that by the
Providence of God, Porto Rice
was the property of the United
States, and that her people wcrC
oar people, and by tie same Di
vine Providence, ANA by cry O.
'hcHcVuirut aSS,uut'aD,on' ANA t,
/ impress Upna lGr Porto RirAnN III,
+. lessen. lhat "whom the Lord iov
eth lie rhaNtiSrih," he woWld put I
fifteen per cen. tariff on the prod
uctS of t,njl' I,har. He would in
duigc in long prayers for temper
aimee and cI!Iotiatiy wink nj Tin
( Nl"udIkr juiuiists to cIo>" MP dju
,ng the duh season, hut thr,y
Their Grors VIDE Crcn again jus
before the veterans next pay day
lie woHld stand for Mckinley an,
bitterly drnounrc B;ynn, and fin
ally his Satanic Majesty woult
make II VIII, IN which he woulr
provide, that in ease of his dealt
or removal from the United States
his newspaper should be hrnct
over to Mark Hanna.
= BOER ENJOYS.