Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-09-25
rs! PERKINS" ON POLITICS.

femme see,'' remarked old Isl" Per-
kins retiectively, resting his elbow
against a counter in the lobby of the
Butte hotel and aiming a squirt of to-
bacco juice at a vagrant fly on the edge
of a cuspidore, bringing his game to
earth with accuracy Indicative Of long
practice. did I ever tell you fellers
how ledge Morse sold a box of worn1y
thinks hisself plenty smart. no matter
how little he knows about politics or
anything else elevatin to the human
race? No? Well, 1t bears a little bit ON
things as they is runnin' at present
roundabout here. and 1 guess I'll just una
load fur the fun Nv 1t.
"You see, ledge Morse lives way up In
the redwoods in Mendocino county.
down in Californy, and the Old gent Is
Jest ~huck-fu NV a sort of native wit
darn few people can appreciate. one
day he gifts him a box or two of apples
and goes peddlin' them around in an old
spring wagon with dished wheels, which
was yanked along by a big, raw-boned
mare and a little fat pony. The ledge
ginrally explained tibet he had to starye
the big animal and fatten the little fel-
Ter to git 'em nearer a size. -
"Well, this day he drives up In 'front.'
Of the house of a man named Fish and
| seq he would like to sell him some apples
the finest fruit the market affords
CTS them good apples. jedge?' inquiries
Fish.
"Trhe very best the market Affords
Mr.. Fish, answers the jedge.
""They hain't got no worms, has
they?' asked Fish again..
"'No, sir; them apples hev no 'Wormss
Mr.. Fish, sed the jedge.
'"Then this smart Fish takes an apple
and. after surveyin' it critically passes
it back and seq again, seq he: We'll, Mr.
Morse here is the hole where a worm
went in ...
"He thought this was a stumper; but
he got pretty much fooled. Takin' the
apple from Fish he turns 1t arouno a.
time or two and gravely handin' II pack
resents the insinooation on his veraclty
in this wise: AS I said before, Mr.. Flsn.
there is no worms in them apples. II you
will hev the kindness, Mr.. Fish. to turn
tibet apple over, your win ihnd Where the
worm came out on t. other side.'
'Now then. fellers. tibet story. Jest
about gives the condition NV affairs IN
the two local wings of old Andy Jaxons
party and the %poppylist n labor par~
ties. Them bank democrats up at Hell
ena tried all kinds Nv hard graft to coax
the labor delights to buy their wormy
apples and stand in after foolin' the
noppylists, but you bet these here labor
fellers is no Jays. They knows a tnlng
or two themselves and amt a goin' to
barter their principles away for apples
with rotten cores even If the worms new
s~keedadled. as
'When the old man used to work the
outside wards things WASH q : run ind aI q
as that. I tell you with these lndepehos
emit democrats all a ioinin' the order Nv
Mites NV the sledgehammer and knock
in them bank democrats, and the laooE
men agoin' It without n fusion. an9
some nv the %poppylists huffy over thi
turn in affairs. durn my hide if it den't
look a heap as If them cussid repunh.
cans is agoin' to win everything IN the
state, hands down" ,or
old esp cleaned his chin with a cleve-
land and Thurman b%andanna, n wan.
dered away, 'grumbling to himself at the
draw way these youngsters mas ano1m
1oIitics." His auditors looked solemn
and dispersed one by one, saying never
a word.