The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-04-18
SPINNING WHEEL.
MELLIFLUoUs. BUT FROSTY.


In town known TO fame by its musical
name,
Which the same it is Kalamazoo.
o, amazoyZle-mazZzle-
MaZaZzle-mazeeZle-m
That liquid, harmonious, easy. euphonlous
Name known as Kalamazoo.
Where it got such a name l can't tell you.
But I've heard, and l doubt not It's true,
There's mixture of Greek and of Choctaw
and Greek
In the makeup of Kalamazoo.
Yet. although the name is so soothing,
The winters don't take the same cue.
They're rasping and rigid, they're frosty
and frigid.
Those winters in Kalamazoo.
1t stood twenty eight below zero,
And lasted whole month or two;
My whiskers L frozc, and my nose and my
toes,
In fact. twas so cold for a season
The very air seemed to turn blue;
Though people who knew said that this
To the swearing round Kalamazoo.
Those same people also informed me,
And swOre that the statement was true,
When it thawed out in spring that these
swear words, i jing, IL.
Would explode over Kalamazoo.
There were days that l wished most de-
vOutly,
When ..northers" from Canada blew,
For skin made of leather to stand the
cold weather
They had around Kalamazoo.
O. Observation-Disclosures
Maza VILE Embellishments!
With your name i was Smltten, but got
When / tackled you, Kalamazoo.
Denver News.
1t was plain that the man at the cor
ner table in a Congress street restau-
rant had INDUCED in several appetizers.
He handled his utensils unsteadily and
made lavish use of the condiments,
tipped over the catsup and spattered
soup freely on his pie. Yet he bothered
no one. so no audible objection was made.
Suddenly, after taking a couple of sips
of his coffee, he made a grotesquely wry
face that was in accord with his rye
breath, and blatted out:
''Phwat tn divvle is tn matther wild
this coffee"'
a waitress quickly reached his elbow
and inquired solicitously as to the cause
Of his criticism of the coffee.
'Whoy," he said, that shtuff tastes
loike it wor mixed wild vinegar ur mebbe
sprayed wild paris green"
did you sweeten it?' coyly asked the
waitress.
Ibid Oh sweeten it? Whoy, put tree
teaspoons iv shugar III it, and, wow
phwat taste it how"
"Where did you get the SUGAR. in
Quired the fair young waitress, trying
hard to repress smile, as her suspicious
began to take form.
''Phwere did Oh git it? Whoy. out iv
thot shugar bowl, iv course Phwere
wud OF take sLugar frum-out iv salt
cellar?"
She retreated a safe distance before
she explained matters.
THAT bowl" said she, contains horse
radish"'
at luks more loike dice crane" said
the victim, as he meekly paid his bill and
went out for a bracer.-Detroit Free
Press.
The tall, dark Kentuckian advances
and shoots the other kentuckian twice
through the lung. At this the other Ken
tuckian regards the tall, dark Kentuck-
ian perpleXedly.
He seems to know me-" says the
other kentuckian to himself, 'but / de-
clare l can't place him! And his face
seems familiar, too!'
However, he will not be outdone in the
and accordingly he draws and sends a
bullet or two into the tall, dark Kentuck-
Journal.
Foster st. John had heard his coun-
try's call. He had made all arrange
ments looking to springing to arms upon
the morrow.
Maude Smiths heart was heavy at
parting. Would Foster die upon the field
I.Ak IL h. 4 IL
commissary department and come back
to her rich and respected?
These were the thoughts that tortured
her, yet wrung from her no sign of pain.
Foster ST. John suffers also.
You will soon forget me"' he says
sadly.
Not on your tintype," replies the
brave girl. LAS if it were not enough
that | love you, | am going to lend YOU
All, how practical she is! And yet
how beautiful tonight, in her gown Of
soft, clinging-
But that will do for another story
Detroit Journal.
A wealthy man was once exhibiting
proudly to a younger acquaintance ia
BILE which he had bought. He said it
was was zoo years S; old; That is nothing
lcuIdlh yOuAS NISltOL. l. nave III
my possession a table which is more than
1000 years Old" ''Three thousand years
oldr' said the host THAT is impossi-
ble Where was it made?" Probably
in India" ''In India? What kind of a
table is it," 1.-The multiplication table!m
.Tit-Bits.
'"The worst mishap in my experience"
said a lawyer of Norristown, occurred
during my district attorneyship says the
Philadelphia Record. II had prosecuted
and convicted a counterfeiter of 5-cent
pieces, and on the evening of this triumph
took pocketful of the bogus coins
home with me.
THE next morning, it being a market
lay, my wife got UP early, and filled
1er purse with the counrerfeiters nick
lis, which she distributed with free
hand among the marketmen in return
'or their wares.
when l discovered what she had done
nearly tainted. What dreadful thing
t would have been to say that /, dis
riot attorney, after convictng a coun-
-erfeiter, had then stolen his false coin
and passed it among my fellow citizens!
On the other hand. what shameful
hing to say that my wife had the habit
If rlt1ing my pockets while / slept.
If the thing should have leaked out