The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-02-11
RETURN OF The COUNTkRFEIT
R%etribution After an Effort to Get Rid Of a
spurious Dollar.


Speaking about passing counterfeit money
said the man with the red muStache.. reminds
me Of n little experience ! had not long ago In
that line My wife got hold Of a counterfeit
dollar. She was afraid To try to pass il her
self. but she INSISTED that il was my duty " 1ke
the dollar and get nd Of II.
wow, | believe that I am an honest man as
hon, sty goes in these days, and IL iq my opinion
| that IN ninety nine cases out o, a hundred, a
man would not hesitate to palm of counterfeit
money which he had unwitingly received from
somr one else equally short in morals In that re-
| spect Reasoning thus, I took the dollar as my
wife requested, and began a series OF attempts
To pass il of on some other unsuspecting mortal
But in spite o! my persistent efforts that counter
| felt dollar proved u be a friend that stuck closer
| than q brother All endeavors TO relieve myself
| Of the burden only resulted in failure Try where
| would. in saloon, cigar store, lunch room or
street car, the coin would invariably be returned
10 me with the polite remark that /. didn'. seem
| 10 be lust right By and by I grew tired OF that
cut-and dried routine and determined to throw
the dollar away and thus preclude all possibility
OF, further humiliation on its account Before
put this laudable resolution into effect, however
! was trapped into profIering the dollar again as
legaltender.
zone rainy Thursday evening l boarded a
north bound Columbus avenue car on my way
nom, and when | began TO search IN my pockets
for car fare ! found 10 my dismay that with the
| exception Of the counterfeit dollar ! was abso-
\ lutely penniless This reduced me TO a painful
| choice Either | would have 10 play upon the
| credul!ty Of the conductor and shift upon him
| the weight Of my counterfeit dollar. or ] would
| have 10 walk four miles through the driving rain
| II took but a moment 10 decide which / would
do was not at all fond Of over slushy.
slippery ~pavements. and | thanked my stars for
the III starred dollar and secretly prayed that
| the conductor might be short Of sight and I'M
skilled Of touch and easily led into the snare.
1T was a night when nobody seemed DESTROYS
OF walking and passengers were packed In the
car. In spite Of the disagreeableness OF the
weather | concluded that | preferred inclemency
| on the outside Of the car To sutfocation on the
inside. So in company with several other men
| who shared my opinion ! took up my station on
the rear platform 1t was some time before the
conductor could worm himself through the crowd.
to the place where ! was standing When he did
appear ! held out my dollar with as much IN
| difference es | could muster AS the conductor
took the money from my hend | looked at him
| furtively One gle nce was sufficient 10 assure
me that at last ] had found an. Opportunity TO
dispose Of my green goods sample He barely
Il INTO his pocket and counted out 95 cents in
change. must confess that felt rather mean
when ! reflected that the poor fellow would, in
all probability, have 10 max, good the difference
| when his Error wa, discovered at the treasurers
office, but had striyen so long 10 accomplish
my ncfarious design that those faint twinges
of conscience were p%owerless W deter me from
Ia little farther on three or four more passen.
| gers crowded into the car at the front door and
presently the conductor started through on another
collecting tour, lie was quite a long while and
| al last | could make ont above the murmur OF the
| voices If the peacefully inclined passengers that
| an alteration Of some kind MAS going on up at
the front end o. the car When the conductor
| came back To the rear platform he was pale with
ang.r Somehow the very sight OF his disturbed
coun,enance made me tremble with apprehen'
What was the matter in there l asked,
anxiously. -.
he said. My, what a tricky lot they .a:e' That
one was a tartar She tried TO palm OIL a counter
felt dollar on me but ! caught her in the trick
and got back at her I'll right
What did you do asked.
"DoT he echoed. Why | made her take II
back, Of soutSe had quite a ,ussle 70 get her
and sworr by all tha, was good ifa, she didn't
give me the dollar But, pshaH! she couldn't
fool me ! amt been a street car conductor for
had cheat written in capital letters ali over her,
II takes q pretty clever sharper 10 work of any Of
his tricks on me, | can tell you
AS the conductor ramNled on | felt the cold
perspiration oozing out 81 every pore in my body.
! never felt quite so well equipped for the role II
heavy VILLAIN as did at that moment, but | put on
an air Of brayado and said, That's right. You
can never tell when 10 trust a woman. Now,
a man would never think Of STOPPING to such
deSpiCable tTickery'
This outburHt Of sentiment relieved me some
what, and as all the men within eArshot acqui-
esced in my tribute 10 masculine virtue, | began
tolook atthe affair from n philOsOphlcals tandpDlnt
and by the time we reached my own street | was
heartily cCngratulaung myself upon the success
OF the financial transaction by means Of which
the counterfeit dollar had in all probability been
forced upon some well 10 do woman who could
easily afford ~ lose a Little sum ike that
1T was dark and the rain was p%atterng down
at q pretty lively rate when ] stepped of the car
at Ninety ninth street Standing in the shadow
Of a little building on the corner wasa woman who
had evidently got Of the front end u the car
had just come up on. She carried several pack
ages and was struggling 10 manage them and
her umbrella and hold up her skirts at the same
time implied by o senre Of g~allantry FASTENED
forward and offered my assistance. The woman
looked up when ! spoke and | saw that for a change
was trying Ia BE- polite to my own wife Her
eyes were red and her Ups were all a CULVER and
Il was plain that she Was on the verge Of a pro.
tracted At Of crying
"Graat Scott, Jennie | said. What on earth
il the matter what do you mean by making
such n show Il yourself here in the street.
She began 10 sob aloud at that 'Dddid