davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-06-16
Antnurous Department.
NOT MEANT THAT WAY.

Perhaps humor which is utterly un-
conscious is the richest and appeals
most directly to ones appreciation of
the absurd and laughable, says the
New York Times. English is won
derful language for expressiveness, af-
fording the greatest facility for saying
something quite different from what is
intended. A young lady was relating
how a certain family goat in the old
country was ipjuring the foliage of the
trees in the garden: "He reached up
as far as he could with his hind legs
and picked off the leaves" whereupon
her unfeeling brother made sketch
showing the goat performing the oper.
alton. The same young lady, soon af-
ter arrival, was looking for pair of
shoes. The shopkeeper told her some
thing about Goodyear welts," and
when she got home she referred to
them as "Happy Christmas Shoes"
There can be no doubt of the serious
intent of the selections which follow,
from the advertising columns of news
papers, published abroad; but their
irresistible humor is only equalled by
some of the original verses which fire.
quently appear in the newspapers, ex-
tolling the virtues and lamenting the
death of relative or friend
"a lady wants to sell her piano as
she is going abroad in strong iron
Frame"
FURNISHED apartments, suitable for
a gentlemen with folding DOORS"
Wanted, room by two gentlemen
about 80 feet long and 20 feet broad.
"Lost, a collie dog, by man on Sat-
urday answering to Jim with a BRASS
collar around his neck and muzzle."
"Bull dog for sale. Will eat any
thing. Very fond of children"
"a clerk wanted who can open oys-
ters and references.
"Wanted, an organist and boy to
blow the same"
"Wanted, clerk to be partly out.
side and partly behind the counter"
"Lost, near High Gate Archway, an
umbrella belonging to gentleman with
a bent rib and bone handle"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-06-16

ii MAY OUTL1vE ALBERT EDWARD
A dispatch to the New York Sun OF
the 4th instant says of Queen Victoria,
who celebrated her 81st birthday the
last day of May:
"In spite of her great age it is a
commonplace in medical circles that
her life is even now better one from
an insurance point of view than that
of the Prince of Wales. 1t is true
that she looks old, very old, very
white and very bent. No one who
has seen her lately could think for a
moment that she was younger than
her actual age. Yet her health is
good, her vitality is wonderful and
her mind as keen and vigorous as
ever"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-06-16
GILMORE'S SPANISH FRIEND.
Kind Deed of an Enemy, Which Net With
Quick Recognition.

Kind Deed of an Enemy, Which Net with
Quick Recognition.
Havana Post.
During the period of Imprisonment
by the Fllipinos, Lieut.. Gilmore and
his men were at one time thrown into
an old barrack with party of Span
ish prisoners, including a major gener.
al. The latter, in some way, obtained
money, which he divided among his
men, and with great generosity sent
fifty Mexican dollars to Lieut.. Gil
more asking him to accept them with
his compliments. Gilmore made the
condition that it should be considered
loan, to which the Spanish general
graciously assented, and he used the
money to buy clothing for his men,
something they sadly needed, for they
we're almost naked.
After his rescue Gilmore learned
that the Spanish general, who had also
escaped from the Filipinos was in the
city of Manila, and he offered him
fifty silver dollars as repayment for the
loan. The general was quite indig.
nant and refused to accept it. When
Gilmore reminded him of the agree.
ment he smiled and said that he had
consented to it only because he feared
the Americans would not accept the
money otherwise.
Lieutenant Gilmore told the story
among the other naval officers at
Manila, who passed around a paper
and collected q handsome sum, which
was expended in the purchase of the
most appropriate and expensive piece
of silver that could be found in Ma
nila. It was engraved with brief
statement of facts and presented to
the Spanish general with appropriate
ceremonies as a token of gratitude
and admiration from the navy of the
United States. Then he was invited
to reception upon the flagship, where
every officer in the feet who could be
spared welcomed him and thanked
him in person for his kindness to Gill
more and his men.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-06-16

than be bears some severe bruises.
CHEROKEE-The Gaffney Ledger,
June 12: Among the ante-bellum
alumuae of Limestone college who
were present at the meeting of the as
sociation last week, were Mrs. A. V.
Montgomery, Mrs. Wm. G. Austell
and Mrs. Sallie Smith, all of Gafney.
Each of these ladies are worthy rep
resentatives of the institution they
love so we'll. .'.'.'''While it rained some
nearly every day last week in Gaffney
and in some portions of the county,
the rains were by no means general.
The ground in most places was in fine
condition for work and the Cherokee
ans worked. The farmers report the
crops as in good condition and grow
ing finely under the influence of the
present warm weather and good work.
:....'...Limestone college is now closed
for the vacation. The students are
all gone and most of the faculty are
at their homes. Those still at the col.
lege will probably take few weeks
at the seashore or in the mountains.
All will be in their places and ready
when the next session begins in Sep
tember, when it is expected one of the
most prosperous sessions in the exist
ence of the college will be inaugurated. d.
........'Mr. and Mis-. John Gaffney gave
a birthday dinner last Sunday, Mr..
Gaffney's birthday, to few of their
friends, among them Mr.. Moses Wood
and his little son, Jimmie. After din
der Jimmie drove over to Blacksburg
and must have met some of her fair
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-06-16
TIE UBIQUITOUS REPORTER.
Henrik Ibsen's Experience With Literary
Waiter.

Henrik Ibsen's Experience With Literary
Waiter.
Baltimore Sun.
Henrik Ibsen, the Norwegian author,
once made his headquarters at the
Grand Hotel in Christiana and insisted
that he should be waited upon at table
by some one who had read all of his
works, says writer in the June Sue
cess. The proposition was astonishing
and yet so amusing to the proprietor
of the hotel that the latter at once ad-
vertised for "a waiter familiar with
the writings of DR.. Henrik Ibsen." I"
The few applicants for the position
who presented themselves were
promptly proven incompetent as stu
dents of Ibsen, the fussy, vain, be-
whiskered author being himself the
examiner. Finally there appeared q
wan youth who spoke Norwegian and
said he had come from Paris. Dr..
Ibsen was delighted, after arigid cross
examination, to find that the young
man could quote whole pages from
"Ghosts,n n"A Dolls House" and "John
Gabriel Bookman." The author agreed
to pay half the wages of the literary
waiter. At every meal Ibsen listened
with rapt attention to the recitation of
his own lines from the lips of the ap-
proved table attendant. Between the
service of every two courses the litera-
ry guest and the literary waiter in
dulged in long conversations about
Ibsen's mode of life, his future plans,
his ambitions, the sums of money he
earned, and so forth. Nothing 10th,
the Norwegian unburdened his inner
most-thoughts to his fattering servi-
tor. One day, less than a week after
the Partisan had accepted his position
in the Christiana hotel, he was missing.
Ibsen was in despair.
Later on the vain author received a
letter from the French capital in which
the writer thanked "the master" for d.
vulging the most interesting facts about
himself and also conveying the "distin-
guished consideration" of the editor of
the best known paper in Paris, in whose
service the erstwhile waiter had gone
to Norway. A postscript noted the
mailing of a marked copy of the pa
per mentioned, containing four page
interview with Ibsen that will be the
matrix of every future biography of
that author.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-06-16

Betas tried to pet him. He was locked
in a room at his home that night and
veterinary surgeon sent for; but
when the door was opened yesterday
morning Chute escaped, but not until
the surgeon had chance to see him
and pronounce him mad.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-06-16

MAKING A CROP WITH A MILK Cow.
Something over a year ago there
moved into Burnsville township, this
county, two men of the name of An
derson. The men seemed very pecu-
liar and resented any effort on the part
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-06-16
The I1orkpille Gmqairer.
Published Wednesday and Saturday
PUBLISEIBR
T.. M. GRIST, W. D. GRIST, 0. E. GRlST.
TERMS sUBSCRIPTION:


Single copy for one year, ,."...."......$ w
One copy for two years, @ @SO
For six months, s,.............-... W
For three months, hs,..".."........"."..... oO
Two copies for one year, 90
Ten copies one year, IL oo
And an extra copy for aclub OF ten.
ADVERTISEMENTS
Inserted at One Dollar per square for the
first insertion, and Fifty Cents per square
for each subsequent insertion: A square
consists of the space occupied by ten lines
of this size type.
@ Contracts for advertising space I9r
three. six. or twelve months will be made
on reasonable terms. The contracts must
in all cases be confined to the regular
business of the firm or individual con-
tracing, and the manuscript must De IN
the office by Monday at noon when IN
tended for Wednesdays issue, and on
wednesday when intended for Saturdays
issue.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-06-16

y~ A Man-I'd rather be live
jackass than dead lion.
His Wife-You couldn't be dead
lion if you wanted to.-Indianapolis
Press.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1900-05-09
REFLECT JUDGE WEBER.

A judge of the district court for
the Ninth judicial district of Mime
sofa, comprising the counties of
Nicollet, Brown, Redwood, Lyon
and Lincoln is to be elected
at the November election. to
succeed the Hon. B. F. Weber.
term expired.
AS yet there is no. opposition to
Judge Weber. We do not believe
that there will be. Judge
Weber has been on the bench for
IL years and during all of that time
has been a credit to the bench. and
has probably fewer reversals
charged to him than any other
judge in the State, length of
service considered. Judge Weber
is popular with both bar and the
people and from both he receives
enconiums.
He should be nominated by petit
ton as non-partisan candidate.
thus retaining partisan bench
for this district. When his friends
start the petitions in the various
counties they will find plenty of
signers, and at the polls Judge
Weber will receive practically
unanimous vote.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1900-05-09
A MOVE FORWARD.

Our heartiest fluctuations to the
business men Of Redwood Falls on
the largely attended meeting last
Friday evening, which marks the
foundation OF making a charming
lake in the heart of the city, and
making the city itself one of the
best summer resorts in the State.
It was the first manifest appearance
OF a general getting together that
has occurred for some time.
1t means whole lot to the city
future. Aside from making a park
in our midst the proposed dam will
furnish an abundance of power for
the operation of number of small
factories which can be established
at any time, with profit to the men
who engage in the enterprise.
The general pulling together and
the disposition on the part of citi-
zens to assist in the enterprises by
donating small tracts of land, or
financial assistance, is what will
make good sized city.
1t will make Redwood Falls a city
of 8. 900 people in five years if every
body continues to pull together and
help towards the advancement of
every material interest.
Cast thy bread upon the waters
and it shall return after many
days.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1900-05-09
The bicycle racing that IS going
on daily on the principal streets
should be stopped. An accident
will result sure fit is continued.

The reducing Of the rate for car
rying fax from Redwood Falls to
Minneapolis from 143 to IL cents,
and on other grains in proportion
and similar reduction from Lam
berton, Walnut Grove, Sanborn,
Tracy and Vesta to the terminal
points, is something that the farm
ers Of Redwood county have a right
to feel decidedly thankful for. Rep
resentative Larson and Senator
Somerville, and particularly the
former, who lead the fight for re-
ddced rates, have this to add to
their many other creditable acts as
servants of the people.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1900-05-09

Average weekly circulation, IA OOcopies.
For convenience, a full year of 50 weeks
will be allowed at so insertions time.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1900-05-09
REPUBLICANS TODAY.

The convention of Republicans Of
Redwood county will be held at the
court house, commencing at one
o'clock to-day.
There will be no contests. Repub-
licans of the county are unanimous
in endorsing the administration of
VIM. Mckinley, and of the united
actions of our Senators and repre-
sentatives in Congress, and delega-
tons will be sent to the State and
Congressional conventions favoring
the denomination of President
Mckinley.
The delegation to the State con-
vention will probably favor the
sending Of Senators Davis and
Nelson as delegates at large to the
National convention, while the
delegates to the Congressional con-
vention, will probably favor the
sending of Representative McCleary
as district delegate to the National
convention, providing the latter
desires to represent the Republic
cans of the district in that CAPACITY.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1900-05-09
OVERFLOW LOCALS,

.
Ice cream soda, the best in town,
at the Central Pharmacy.
Girl wanted in small family. Will
pay $3.50 per week. Apply to Mrs. G.
Fred. Thompson. 39-tf.
James S. Beecher came up from
New Ulm last Saturday and spent
Sunday with relatives in this city.
Best ice cream in Redwood Falls at
Gordon's and for % cents quart. Sun
day business hours from 1:l5 to and
to 10 p. m.
There will be an illustrated chill
dren S sermon in the Presbyterian
church'next Sabbath morning. The
evening subject is Solitary Power. -
The Paxton delegation to the con-
vention to-day will consist of J. L..
Byram, Alex. Dennistoun, Russell
Hills, VIM. Knapp and VIM. Dascom.
A. c. Burmeister is putting a
face rock foundation under his
residence on Bridge street, the rock
coming from the North Redwood
quarry.
Miss Mary Athey of St. Paul, a
friend of the Woods family, came up
from that city last week to be pres
ent at the Cull-WOOdS wedding at
St. Catharine's church yesterday.
Cabbage andITomato plants for sale
by the dozen or by the 100 by G. E.
Waldron, or at Holmes store 37-tf.
Charlestown Republicans have
elected George GOWN, John Yaeger.
G. E. Bartholomew, H. K. Schroeder
and F. W. Stevens as delegates to
the county convention to be held
to-day.
j. W. Shanks, registered
pharmacist of ST. Paul, arrived here
Monday to accept a position in
Hitchcock S drug store, to succeed
Mr.. Orth, who has gone to Mime
apolis. Mr.. Shanks was formerly
of Jackson, this State.
For SALE-House and lots. Inquire
of w. S. Clayson.
The well-known lecturers and
mediums, G. w. Hates and wife,
willappear at the opera house on May
Goth and 21st, under the auspices OF
the State Spiritualists Association
of Minnesota, for the purpose OF
explaining spiritualism and giving
spirit tests.
The Misses Mary and Isabelle
Hemphill gave party at their home
Saturday evening. Quite a number
of their friends were present and
spent the evening in a social way.
Light refreshments were served be-
fore the company broke up, which
was about II clock.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1900-05-09
unanimous vote.

Capt VanSant is still having
things his own way for the Republi-
can gubernatorial nomination. He
will be elected by 10000 majority at
the polls next November.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1900-05-09

Larger contracts at minimum rate of 10
cents per inch each insertion Rates for
preferred position, metal base electros or
alternate insertions furnished at Office
Reading notices in local paragraphs, 1Oc
per line Other reading notices over lines,
cents per line.
Legal notices at legal rates. IS and IS cts
per folio.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1900-05-09
THE REDWOOD GAZETTE.
~ AIKEN 1 scnmAnL.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 9, 1900.
GAZETTE BUILDING DIRECTORY.
ADVERTISING RATES

Commencing July l, 1898, the following
rates will be strictly enforced on all new
contracts made for advertising in THE RED
WOOD GAZETTE:
Less than 20 inches Il col) per inch =. 2Oc
Twenty incnes or more, per inch ...... 15c
Discounts will be allowed on contracts for
advertising running continuously:
$500 to $500, discount. 30 per cent
1900 to 1000, - ..........25
1000 to 1900, :" 3O
1900 or over, ..........33h" :.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-10

TO BE CONTINUED
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-10
INDIANS CAPTURE A SAFE.
Disgust of Some Apnches with $4,000
In Their POssessiOn.

"Thc Apache Indians had n hard nut
to crack when they got hold OF our pay
masters safe said the eX-sergeant of
cavalry who was asked about his expert
pnccs in Arizona. ION this particular
trip | was detailed with six men to es-
cort him. He and his clerk rode in an
ambulance drawn by mules, and of
course the escort were mounted. We
were in camp one night between two
forts when we We're jumped by at least
100 Indians. They killed two men be
fore we got out, and OF course the am
bulance was left in their hands.
The paymastcr's safe contained about
81 900 in greenbacks. 1t weighed some
thing like 400 pounds and worked with
q combination. None of the redskins
had ever examined one at close quar-
ters before, but they all knew what it
was hauled about from post to post for,
and Of course they were anxious to get
hold Of the money. They first pounded
off the knob with stones, thinking the
door could then be pried open. 1t was
failure, of course, and then they tried
their tomahawks on the chilled Steel
hoping to cut a hole in it. They had
seen iron softened by fire, and the third
move was to give that safe n three
hours roasting. Luckily for Uncle Sam
ii was fireproof. They threw big rocks
upon it while it was still hot. and it was
dented here and there, but they were as
far from the money az ever. After work
ing away for Il night and a day the safe
was dragged up the side Of a mountain
and tumbled over precipice 200 feet
high. They expected to see it burst open,
but the only damage done was 10 break
one of the wheels off. 1t was left lying
where ii fell for three or four DAYS. and
the gang then returned and carried it TO
the river and let It soak for whole
week. 1t was thought that this would
soften 1t up, and great was their chagrin
when bafiled again. Then they tried
gunpowder, but knowing nothing Of
blasting they brought about an explosion
which burned half a dozen warriors and
left the safe as good as ever.
The indians were foolinc with TINT
strong box for month or more. They
roasted it again, and they gave it another
fall, and no burglars ever worked harder
to get at the long green. They failed to
get at the inside, however and in disgust
they tumhled it into a deep ravine and
ieit 1t. 1t was II months later that peace
came, and we accidentally got track Of
the safe. An ambulance and guard
were sent for il, and we found it living
IN the bed of creek with n great pile
CT driftwood piled around it, 1t was n
lonesome looking old safe. as you NAV
suppose. and nobody had the slightest
nope that the money had escaped fire and
water. When we got it to the fort and
blew off the door, we found the 81 900
as snug as you please. Some Of the bills
were little tender from the heat and
some had grown moldy from the water.
but Uncle Sam redeemed every dollar.
and the paymaster was made happy
again.-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-10
In .gauaD

recent meeting at the house OF
Prince Konoye, where plans were said to
have been made to check the progress Of
Christianity in Japan, has already been
reported. The anti-Christian attitude OF
the department of education also has
been mentioned.
Prince Konoye, however, on his return
from a trip abroad, has expressed some
sentiments which show that he is at least
appreciative of some OF the products OF
Christianity. The prince afirms that be
discovered that when persons in Europe
spoke of gentlemen" they referred to
mans moral qualifications rather than to
his material condition. A gentleman"
was n man OF honor who scrupulously
fulfilled all his engagements and who
would forfeit all his rights to the title
at once IL he committed any Of the acts
which in Japan are condoned or over.
looked.
The prince thinks that an immense re-
form is needed in this country and, while
he disclaims any desire to introduce
Christianity into Japan, does not hesitate
to say that the conference.-the man OF
honor-is a product of Christianity. The
Japan Mail wonders why. If this is the
impression created by occidental civiliza-
ton upon the japanese mind the prince
shrinkS from advocating the planting
OF Christianity on this country's SOIL
Tokyo Cor. Chicago Record.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-10
THE AlGHBORN ROVER.

! bought him Of fellow that had Dragged about
his breed;
lie wrote the genealogy in full for me to read
/ was nightly astonishcd TO find much was
known
OF pup whose line Of ancestry was longer than
my own.
The thoughts Of all that lineage embarrassed me,
sir for
wbpnecr the canine looked at me my soul was
allied with awe!
| studied a cognomen to suit his high estate.
But while that | was bordering my yeungster
cuchred fate.
The youngstcr called him Rover
I tried to shift it over,
But Rover did that dog remsin-iust plain
pebcan Rover.
But, oh, that ancient lineage went back to
No other way could explain that pups destroy.
ing ways.
He chawcd and gnawed the drspcries and made a
pirates lair
BY digging out the entrails Of best upholster.
ed chair,
And anything too hard TO bite ne'er phased the
pup bit,
He'd somehow knock IL down-and then bust
thunder out Of II.
But still, you see, ! couldn't raise my basoborn
ii, TO touch
That royal pup.le canine 6cnd-his birth was too,
too much,
SO hirhborn, naughty Rover,
lie losled around in clover.
Played boss with all our household gods did su.
percilious Rover.
Then he took another notion for to show his lord.
Went out to do the city and would stay out most
all night;
Would ssuntcr home bout three o'clock the gay
and dashing spark,