Arizona silver belt., 1900-12-27
MODERN FABLE.
Wives Who Talked About Tbe;r
 Husbands

Husbands.
 Once there were two married counles who had organized quartet, 80 as to have some one else to look at now and then.
 Mrs A. had way of reading the riot act to the other half of the domes- i tie sketch. She was constantly rehuk- ing him for making bad breaks in com. pany. When he bought striped shirts of the Georgia minstrel pattern she told him that he had the sartorisl in- stincts of a craps shooter. She asked him why he wore his hat on one side of his head, just like common rough. How she would get after him if he for. got to speak to the ice cream man when she had invited some one to din. ner!
 It seemed to him that he had made more errors and fewer hits than any player in the matrimonial league His percentage was about 023.
 But this same Ms. A., when she talked to her friends, said that al. though Win might be thoughtless now and then, the same as all men, he had a heart too big for his body and one of the sweetest natures that ever came down the pike. She said that if other men were as reliable as her Will there would be no demand for private de- Uectlve agencies. She said that Will had disposition that it was comfort to tie to, and it was great blessing for any woman with nerves to bs an chored to steady man who never flew of the handle. She sald that she was glad of the chance to play cling ing vine to his sturdy oak, and she didn't care who knew 1t. When Mrs. A. fell to cracking up her husband she talked like press agent
 Mrs. E. was different. when she ans the wage earner were by them- selves she would fondle hi m and make him declare that he still loved her, whether it came natural or not. She would hold him by the hand and call him her handsome boy, and lead him Co think that William Faversham and Henry Muller were not entitled to quite all of those mash notes scented with heliutrope.
 An hour later, while talking conf ! dentially with roomful of women, with the understanding that it would not go any further, she would say that she had secret sorrow. She said her husband lacked soul and feeling and imagination and few other items not essential on the stock exchange.
 Her wings and his wings were not mates. When she wanted to soar in the raretied realm of sentiment and cut didoes among the clouds, he would haul her back to the plowed ground by some alluslon to liver and bacon.
 Although she had tried to grow pinions on him and encourage him to do her kind of swoops he preferred to be of the earth earthy. Consequently her life was as empty as bass drum In attempting to get an affinity she had made miscue and was up agdnst it.
 Under the circumstances, she would have to make the best of d bad bar
  gain, and hide her grief from the world, unless some one should ask her about it.
 It came about that one evening MT. and Mrs. A. went to call oR Mir. and Mrs. E. The two men were in B. s room, silently inspecting some old bindings, when Mrs A. and Mrs. B. came into the room adjoining and l began to compare husbands, liLtle i reckoning that the men could caves drop.
 When A. heard Mrs. A. catalogue his virtues and say that he was one in | d thousand, he was surprised but | pleased. When E. heard Mrs. E. say | that she was condemned to mere eX- | istencc with a sordid money -gruober, who had no more delicacy of feeling than domestic animal, he also was but not pleased.
 The two men walked softly out of the room and went for their hats.
 My wife is stuck on me after all," said A. In a case of this kind there is only one thing to be done. Come with me to the club and 1 will open a keg of nails"
 ''l am with you" said B., very glOomily. ''I must drown my sorrow.n So they went on a toot of the high lonesome variety.
 Moral: Anything for an excuse. Washington Post.
 No one can reasonably hope for good health unless hls bowels move opcs