The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1900-08-27
NAMES ON THE REGISTER.
A Hotel Clerk Makes Them the Subject

l
| of a Philosophical Talk.
| Funny how few men take the trou-
bic to write their names legibly on a
register" remarked the man behind the
counter at one of the big hotels. Look
at this page, and this, and this! How
| many signatures do you see that you
| can read off-hand, and be certain you're
right? Not one In four, I'll bet! Now
| look again and note the number Of mere
scrawls that nobody could possibly de-
| cipher.
"A good many guests make that Kind
of chicken tracks on page merely to
| be thought important. They have all
absurd IDEA that bad signature indi-
Gates a person Of consequence, which Is
| due to the fact, I suppose, that men Of
wealth often use fantastic hieroglyph-
ic In signing checks and drafts. There
| is some conlmon-sense in that practice,
because the scrawl generally includes
some peculiar turn or twist. known only
protection against forgery. But to de-
liberately place an illegible signature
on hotel register is not only a silly af-
fectation but serious mistake assum-
ing, of course, that the writer has no
reason for wanting to conceal his iden-
tity. The chief object of Il register Is
to furnish infor1na ton to the public,
ror, as far as the house Is concerned,
the guest is at once entered on the prl-
vate ledger behind the counter. But
the probabilities are that he has friends
who would like to learn Of hts presence,
and If they are expecting him they win
drop In and look over the arrivals to
see whether he has reached the city.
The mail carriers and expressmen, the
district messenger boys and q good
many others often consult the book In
regard to matters Of Importance, and
you may rest assured they waste pre-
cols little time untangling knotty au-
tographs. A chronic scrawer Is apt to
subject himself to some very serious
annoyances through the failure of peo-
pie to find him.
But how about fellows who can't
writer" asked a guest who had listened
to the clerks little homily; don't they
sometimes make a serawl for a bluff"
Yes, rye known that to be DONE"
replied the clerk smi1ingly, but not Of
ten. A man who can't write finds IL
very difficult to make even scrawl,
and he generally gets out Of registering
by throwing the blame on the pen. T
can't use a thing like this he viii say;
haven't you got broad stub?' Moth
ing in the rack will answer, and, know
Ing by that time how the land lays, I
volunteer to register for him. Hotels
entertain good many people who can't
write. and the bad pen comedy is enact
ed quite frequently. Of course, the
clerk has to be very,careful not to let
the guest suspect that he is on the
dodge, for such folks are very sensitive
about their educational infirmities.
II once knew man who paid twelve
hundred dollars year solely to keep
hotel clerks from knowing that he
couldn't write his own name. He began
life as a day laborer. drifted out west
and made fortune through leasing a
supposed worthless mine in Montana
When he accumulated about one hun
dred and fifty thousand dollars he sold
out and started in to travel and have
good time. He was naturally shrewd
but he had never had particle of
schooling, and lodging registers at new
hotels became the chief worry Of his
life. At first he used to tie up his hand
in handkerchief and pretend 1t was
hurt, but he realized that the trick was
pretty transparent, and at last he en-
ployed a young newspaper man at one
hundred dollars a month to travel with
him as his secretary The examiner
never sent or received any letters; he
didn't care for reading, and the secre-
tary's one and only duty was to sign |
hotel registers. They would walk In to- |
sether and the young chap would say, |
deferentially: Shall do the register |
ing for us both, Colonel?' IF you |
please, his boss would reply and he !
would thereupon write: Col. --and |
secretary, Montana Then he could so |
)ff and play until they got ready to |
cave town. II was, the softest Job in |
he universe. He held it for several |
,ears; in fact, until his patron succeed
I'd in drinking himself to death New
Orleans Times-Democrat