The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-01-26

up the source Of the Columbia river
with q corncob, or prohibitionists stop
the flow of human liberty by stufing in
few drunkards shirts. Watch the
slow moving hand Of eternity as it slow
ly moves through the cycles Of ages and
marks the progress Of the race under the
laws OF evolution up to date, and then
tell me if you can how long it will take
TO carry the race to enlightenments start.
| Ing with the first pair, that dwelt in
a cave, eating raw meat killed with g
bludgeon or stone hammer, down to q
MT dern pr0hibitionist. The tall struct-
ure that has reared it's lofty top to the
heavens and extorted the praises Of the
gods is graded school for Gods child
reE-Chrst said it consists Of "many
mansions" or stories. In tbs basement
are savages, where Adam and Eve re-
side d in the second story are semi-say.
ages; il the third story are the civilized ;
IN he fourth story are the Christiani2od /;
Ill The fifth story are the enlightened,
where Contucius, Christ, Tom Jefferson,
Franklin, Lincoln, Howard, Humboldt,
Darwin, Spencer, Huxley, Henry Ward
Beecher and host Of earth's brightest
Jewels have climbed up on fire escape
iadGers" placed outside the walls of the
fourth story mansion" No prohibi-
tloiist ever reached there or ever will.
The heavenly atmosphere hasn't enough
d ne oxygen in it to keep him alive
slli ihuritted hydrogen is best suited to
hls lungs. Whom all the race reach the
upper story, then the milIennium-no
before. The man who lies to you, the
man who will not pay his honest debts;
VINO fails to pay the printer for his pa.
per; who cheats his neighbor in horse
trade; who puts little potatoes in the
bottom OF the sack and big ones on top;
who mlsrepresents his goods; who starts
a saw mill Or store to break up with
money III his pocket, defrauding his
creditors; and every man who doesn't
look out for his neighbours interest as
clearly as he does his own, is down in
the fourth story, which is literally crawl
ing with them. We are glad they are
not u the fifth story. We dislike their
society. They are only tolerated in such
places as are accustomed to "pass the
hat "
Gcu complain that l impose a grieyous
burden on woman BY asking her to
give a whisky seller notice TO sell no more
tqucr to drunken husband. | ALWAYS
beileNed that when that "ribi was taken
from Adam side there was q small slice
OF backbone Clipped off with it, for
some women seem to be all back bone, !
and Others all rib To meet lust such
cases as yours, | stated in my article
that any OF her friends could serve the
notice Ii she is unfortunate enough 70
have no friend, just consider me as such
and see If don't plaster his saloon out
slde and III II necessary, not neglecting i
TO hlre at my own expense g. bill poster |
70 plaster them all over his back. Nc |
klnley's wife had backbone enough to
head the W. G. T. U. ladies in rajding
the saloons in Canton, Ohio while her
nuSpand and Mark Hanna were at home
laying plans for getting to Washington
eitd ,ii,gurlng out just how many thou
SAND barrels Of whisky it would take to
1ood the country and raise revenue
enough to carry on the government
oryan was doing the same thing. while
.ne Ioor old, lonesome prohibition can
i.date was sobbing at home because his
friends were mostly going over
o the camp OF the enemy. !:
" hen you located me in the back room I
j drug store, prescribing wine for nv
'auents and rubbing in the remedy" |
.ou thought you had got off something
onny' Wit, my dear girl, isn't YOUR
hold; you would shine more
onsPicuously in domestic affairs-such 5
S singing dish cloths or ironing didies '
Now, my dear sister, l am done with |
on, and done forever. I gently Law nv
ana on year badly disheveled hair and I c
l.d YOU go IN peace and sin no more !
70 with my blessing. I will trouble 4
our no more World without end
menl Next W. L. ApAvs \