Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1900-09-21
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Not if they know it?'
Are you golting this summer, Eth
el?' Yes; I've got lovely golf ham
mock."-lndianapolis Journal
Have you lived very long in the sub
urbs"' Not so very long; only about
fourteen cooks. Brooklyn Life.
Doctor-After this you ought to sleep
like a baby. Patient (anxiously)-I
hope you don't mean like my baby, doc
tor.
Some men, it is said, carry their sense
of honor so far as to spend all their
time in idleness because they object to
take advantage of time!
Eyes, sir; l put in months of hard
work forming that girls mind"
"Well?" Then she said she wouldn't
have me. New York World.
How much money have you, Sam
my? well, If didn't owe grandma
dime and sister nickel I'd have fif-
teen cents. ts."-Chicago Record.
"Our bookkeeper seems to be step
ping high this morning" "Yes; some
girl has either accepted him or gone
back on him. Chicago Record.
II thought you and Rebecca were
the same age" 1--WE were: but she
seems to have receded. while I've been
going on."-Indianapolis Journal.
Ma-"Tommy, you seem to love pa
better than you do me-" Tommy-"Oh.
ma, don't mean to; but v see, pa
hllus has his pockets full O. nickels."
The little girl slipped something be-
meath the edge of her plate. 81 WISH"
she said, under her breath. "there was
an anti-crust law! That's what wish!"
Daughter, notice that Harry isn't
a bit gallant to other women" mo, in
deed, ma; | broke him of that right
after we were married" d."-Indianapolis
Journal.
He-'I asked your fathers consent
by telephone" She-"What was his
answers" He-"He said, 4 don't know
who you are, but it's all right -
Harvard Lampoon.
Clerk-How did the alarm clock
work? | suppose you got up the mo-
ment it went off? Blake-I had to-.
Didn't have anything in bed to throw
at it.-Boston Transcript.
Can you depend on what Bondword
says?' you bet your life! Why, man,
I've known him to quit poker game
loser just be cause he'd promised his
wife he'd be home early"-Puck.
Jones, you'll never get rich like 9TH
er men IL you take so many afternoons
off to baseball games" "Oh, l don't
know: I'll outlive them and catch up in
the leng un."-IndianapOlis Journal.
She-You told me you love me. but
l suppose you have told the same thing
to fifty other girls at least. He-What
Of that? You wouldn't want to marry
freak, would you?-Boston Tran.
script.
Mrs. Hatterson-"What! You have
breakfast at half-past seven? Isn't
that very earlyT Mrs. Catterson-
"Yes. But it Is necessary now since
my husband has given up business to
play golf."-Life.
"David. dear, won't 60 a step to the
Paris exposition without you" "Now.
Eliza, do you really want my loved
presence. n do you want somebody to
push you around in a wheel-char?"-
indianapolis Journal.
81 cannot sing the old songs" she
sang at a high pitch in the torture
chamber, which is the music room. II
don't think you can sing the new ones,
either" growled the man on the porch.
Detroit Free Press.
An EXplanation.-Unde Ito by
stander at funeraD-"Are you one
Of the mournersY Bystander-T am.
SIR" Undertaker-"What relation to
the deceased" Bystander-"None mt
all-but he owed me $5."-Chcago
News.
The Palmist-"This line in your hand
indicates that you have a very brilliant
future ahead of you" Simkins-"Is
that SOP" The Palmist-"Yes; bu; the
other line indicates that you are too
slow to ever catch up with it"-Chica-
go News.
Cleverton-Now that you have sue
ceeded in getting on such intimate terms
with New York's most exclusive liter
airy set and meeting so many distin-
guished men. don't see what you want
to quit for. Dashaway-The fact is,
haven't cent left-The Smart Set.
what fine complexion Miss Home
wood has" said Mr.. Beechwood to Miss
Northsde. I'm so glad you like it. u
chirruped Miss Northside. ITS a new
complexion just brought out by a de
serving druggist of my acquaintance
and hope it will become POPULAR
Pittsburg Chronicle.
"It's gittin fashionable now. II seems