Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-07-17


This story relates to Secretary of the
Navy Longs idea of social formality,
says the Saturday Evening Post Just
before the first cabinet dinner was given
last sea son, MIR. Hay had a private talk
with his colleagues in the cabinet, in
which the proposition was agreed to that
the irritating precedent question at cabi-
net dinners should be abolished Each
hostess must simply be careful not to put
the same people together through the sea-
son. The secretary of state was TO inau-
gurate the plan. No one expressed him
self as more rejoiced over the change
than the secretary of the navy. He
talked about it constantly between the
agreement and the dinner.
When he arrived at the mems dressing
room the evening of the dinner, the man
servant handed him the usual small en-
velope with the name of the lady whom
he was to take in to dinner. Mr.. Long
read it aloud to the other members of the
cabinet in the room. He looked puzzled
and distressed The other members
showed that they also had cards.
Mr.. Long sat heavily down in a chair
aud looked around them as one who had
lost his last friend. I thought he said,
mournfully, that Hay told us this was
going to be an informal affair"
What did you expect?'' asked a
cabinet minister
w ny, L every IelIOW NOuIO
come in, and just go to the lady he liked
best. take her out to dinner and sit down
IN the chair nearest him. That's my idea
Of informality."
He knocked at the back door Of sub
urban house and the cook opened it. He
was a sinister-looking fellow, and the
cook held on to the door.
Lady of the house at home?' he in
CURED, grufdy.
Mo- trembled the cook.
Master Of the house at home?'
No
None of the people IMP
None but me-, and she tried to shut
All. never mind he growled, setting
his foot against it; I'll come in and have
a good feed. Let go the door,"
She let go the door and the tramp went
in and fell into the arms of burly po-
liceman who was counting the cook con-
trary to orders.-London Iit-Bits
An eccentric fiat man. who was on
exhibition became SO tired of answering
questions that he had the following re-
plies printed and pasted on board at
his side:
/ weigh $40 pounds.
| am fat.
/ know [ am fat.
/ am growing fatter every day.
| am growing larger every day.
| cannot tell you how much larger
am going to get.
| expect to grow until | either die or
collapse.
Yes, | have a good appetite
No, | do not eat all the time.
Yes, | am going to stop eating.
No, | was not always as large as [ am
now.
| do not remember when [ was as thin
as you.
Yes, my father was large man.
Yes my mother was a large woman.
| cannot tell you how long it will take
YOU to get as fat as | am.
| do not know If you will ever be as
fat as | am.
| like to be told that | am fat.
| like to be stared at
] like to have people stop in the street
and laugh at me-
| like people who give me advice about
reducing my weight.
Yes, | have tried dieting.
1t did not do me any good.
II there is any other question you can
think of that I've not answered, don't be
bashful. Just ask it, and I'll try and an
swer it. Are you going? Well, goodby.
London Tit-Bits.
Wife Counting over her change after
making a purchase)-''I fear he has CIV
en- me the wrong change
Husband (savagelyl-"I thought so,
thought so; that's the way my hard
earned money goes. Trust Il woman to
get fooled. Go back to the counter and
get it made right at once"
Wife returns TO the counter and hands
the assistant half sovereign.
Husband-"Why what have you been
doing?'
Wife-"Making the change right. He
gave me half a sovereign TOO much"
Husband more savage than ever)-
well, by jingo, you are an idiot.-
Tid-Bits.
An incident which occurred in Phila
delphia during the recent national con-
yention might be taken to indicate that
there are moments in the lives of poll
ticians when their attention isn't deyot-
ed to celebrities, relates the New York
Commercial. Many will recall to mind
the falling e an elevator at one of the
hotels and the serious injury resulting
10 several delegates. Few. however
ever heard that the same elevator fell
seven stories the previous day and ca
tastrophe was only avoided by the work
ing Of the pneumatic attachment which
subsequently failed. As it was, the oc
cupants experienced thrilling episode,
dropping seven flights and rebounding