The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-04-24
THE GRAY PARROT
By W. W. JACOBS.
copyright, 1900, by W. w. Jacobs.l


The chief engineer and the third sat
at tea on the S. S. Curlew in the East
India docks. The small and not over
clean steward, having placed every
thing he could think of upon the table
and then aG.ed everything the chief
could think oil, had assiduously poured
out two cups of tea and withdrawn by
request. The two men ate steadily,
conversing between bites and inter-
rupted occasionally by a hoarse and
sepulchral voice, the owner of which,
being much exercised by the sight of
the food, asked for it, prettily at first
and afterward in way which at least
compelled attention.
That's pretty good for a parrot"
said the third critically. Seems to
know what he's saying too. No, don't
give it anything. It'll stop if you do"
There's no pleasure to me in listen
ing to coarse language" said the chief
with dignity.
He absently dipped piece Of bread
and butter in the thirds tea and, losing
it, chased it round and round the bot
tom of the cup with his finger, the
third regarding the operation with an
interest and emotion which he was at
first unable to understand
"You'd better pour yourself out an
other cup" he said thoughtfully as he
caught the thirds eye.
"I'm going to-" said the other dryly.
''The man l bought it Of" said the
chief, giving the bird the sop, "said
that it was a perfectly respectable par
rot and wouldn't know bad word if
1t heard it. l hardly like to give it to
my wife now"
TITS no good being too particular"
said the third, regarding, the other with
an ill concealed grin. THAT'S the
worst of all you married fellows. Seem
to think your wife has got to be
wrapped up in brown paper. Ten
chances to one she'll be amused"
The chief shrugged his shoulders dis
painfully. II bought the bird to be
company for her." he said slowly.
"She'll be very lonesome without me,
Rogers
"How do you know?" inquired the
other.
"She said so" was the reply.
"When you've been married as long
as have" said the third, who, hav-
ing been married some Is years, felt
that their usual positions We're some
what reversed, you'll know that, gen.
orally speaking, they're glad to get rid
of you"
"What for?" demanded the chief in a
voice that Othello might have envied.
well, you get in the way bit"
said Rogers, with secret enjoyment
"You see, you upset the arrangements.
Housecleaning and all that sort of
thing gets interrupted. They're glad
to see you back at first and then GLAD
to see the back of you.''
There's wives and wives" said the
bridegroom tenderly.
"And mines good one" said the
third, registered Al at Lloyd's, but
she don't worry about me going away.
Your wife's 80 years younger than
you, isn't she?"
Twenty-Five" corrected the other
shortly. "You see, what I'm afraid Of
is that she'll get too much attention"
"Well, women like that" remarked
the third"
"But don't, dash itY' cried the
chief hotly. when l think Of it, go
hot all Overlooking hot"
"That won't last" said the other re-
assuredly. "You won't care twopence
this time next year"
"We're not all alike" growled the
chief. Some of us have got finer feel
ings than others have. saw the chap
next door looking at her as we passed
him this morning"
"Good heavensv' said the third
wildly.
II don't want any Of your blanked
impudence," said the chief sharply.
"He put his hat on straighter when he
passed us. What do you think of
that?'
Cant say" replied the other, with
commendable gravity. "It might mean
anything"
IF he has any of his nonsense while
I'm away, I'll break his neck" said
the chief passionately. II shall know
OF it,"
The other raised his eyebrows.
''I've asked the landlady to keep her
eyes open bit" said the chief. "My
wife is very young and simple, SO
that 1t is quite right and proper for her
to have motherly old body to look
after her"
"Told your wifeY queried Rogers.
"No," said the other. "Fact is, Rog-
ers, I've got an idea about that parrot.
I'm going to tell her it's magic bird
and will tell me everything she does
while Pm away. Anything the land
lady tells me shall tell her got from
the parrot. For one thing, don't want
her to go out after I of an evening, and
she's promised me she won't. If she
does, shall know and pretend that l
know through the parrot. What do
you think of it?''
"Thinls of it," SAID the third, staring
at him. think Of it? Fancy a man tell
ing a grown up woman yarn like
that!"