The daily sentinel., 1900-05-03

ASoa'As
These dandellions I'd take to Jane,
But dare not, for you see
Her minds SO practical in vein,
She'd stew them into tea.-Gazoot.
This air beats patent medicine for a
spring tonic .-Gazoot,
There are kinks in the Populistic
political wire this year.
The dress makers union should boy
colt Mrs. Howard Gould.
II there is any thing in a name tho
people who live in Hawaii must have two
eyes behind
The Beers hold all the passes and the
British will have to pay if they expect
to get there.
II you must wear them again you had
better have the coil taken out Of those
last years springs pants.
That Chicago girl who killed herself
before mirror showed the inborn fe-
male instinct to the last.
Mckinley "Doled" out another piece
Of political pie yesterday. he is to be
the first governor OF Hawaii.
Only few days will be necessary to
convince the most skeptacle that the
new landlord is every bit as unreasona-
BILE as the old one.
Two hundred core makers at Columbus,
O., have struck for higher wages and a
rise in the price of apples may be expect
ed in the near future.
A little benevolent assimilation"
from a battleship might induce the
"Unspeakable Turk" to cough up some
thing besides his voice.
Under the guise Of news" the Denver
Post comes out with red-headed article
to the effect that the Standard Oil Co.
owns the administration.
A bottle of ketchup exploded down in
Durango the other day, severely injur-
ing lady OF that town Maybe it was
the liable that "blue" up.
Those little cream pitchers in Will
Marshes have a spout on each side SO if
a man wants to catch train in hurry
he can get the cream out quick
The fact that we'll known Fruita
girl has scars on her lips Just like those
on the necks OF several men down there
looks suspicious. She must be passion
ately fond of goosefesh.
AT the Autopsy OF Missouri man
who recently died under suspicious cir
cumstances the attending surgeon blush
ingly admitted that he removed over a
pint of prune seeds from the victim.
A Carlisle, Ill. woman died Of heart
disease on being told that she had
fallen heir to 100000. This should
be a warning to people who have heart
trouble to be careful and always ready
The Cook county democracy passed
resolutions Of sympathy for Gov. Tan
nsr on account Of those troublesome
gallstones of his. In case he lives to see
his own political death no doubt his
friends can utalize the same resolutions
over again.
Spring poets may now be unclaimed.
The ladies OF the Kopjville Society
for tho Prevention Of Cruelty to Ami
mails have agreed that no member shall
wear but just the wings in their hats, a
heavy fine being imposed for wearing
the whole bird.
Table etiquette was invented SO people
couldn't be comfortable enough to eat
too much.-Gazoot. Judging from the
number OF law suits for unpaid grocery
bills now pending against the Gazoot
editor he will never die from the ef
fects OF ultra-etiquette or contrac-
tion OF the stomach.
wealthy New York society man re-
Gently confiden tally told Denver friend
OF his who informed a prominent Grand
junction man the other day who told
friend OF his who told our wife who told
us that the latest fad with exclusive New
York society ladies is to have secret
pocket in their hose-away up near the