The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-09-29
Wives a nd incomes 5.

My dear fellow" began Philip Mon
tercy. reprovingly. sit depends upon
"Oh, 1 can't give you the eircum-
stances. Figure 10 yourself man, the
possessor OF a wife he adores, a d-mil-
ishing income, and expensive tastes. In
agn ne also a woman
THE possessor of an ideal husband
and expensive tastes-who is probably
the cause of the diminishing aforesaid.
Right. o. intelligent anticipator Of
events!'
"Well?"
"She has gone"
How gone? Not dead?"
"Oh, dear, no. Not dead, but gone be-
| fore-that is, before the income dimin-
| ished in vanishing point"
Monterey Joined his finger tips.
That was very considerable OF her
She has probably saved an impasse."
Which is the French for the work
| house?'
sWeIl, yes. I suppose we both sympa-
| thise with the woman, because the man
! will laugh last. But l wander from the
subject Wives and incomes, my dear
( fellow, are both perishable commoditie s.
incomes especially so. The former are
/ comparatively easy to replace. With the
latter it is different. One can live with
/ an income, yet without a wife. One can
live with both, but-well, you see what
I mean when 1 say that the woman has
in all probability saved the situation. In
such a menage as you have pictured the
onus of maintaining mutual happine s
would rest. heavily upon the man-poor
! chapi'
Poor chap, indeed! You don't under
stand.'
More circumstances"
/ Vineyard leaned forward
"The man was desperately in love with
his wife, worshiped the ground she walk
ed on and all that sort of thing They
never quarreled."
Her demands were made exclusively
upon his purse and his affections"
Yes, and they were invariably hon
ored In other matters, she allowed HIN
! a superior knowledge and bowed reli-
giously before him. Told poor devil he
was a man, and knew best while she
was only a poor, weak little woman who
had thought that such and such thing
might possibly be correct. but was evil
IDENTIFY mistaken, since he, her wise hus-
| band knew otherwise"
(Which means that she always got
what she wanted"
"She played upon him as swell plan
! ist plays upon a second rate instrument;
got every ounce of music out of him
/ Now she's playing the 'Danse Micabre-'
| You know-Pom! Pom. Oh, those
thumgsT'
There was pause and Vineyard sank
back in his chair.
eyes. it's all over now" he went on.
! while it lasted it was good to see
| Only one cloud-the diminishing income.
/ which he didn't worry about then-of
/ which she knew nothing"
"No-nothing," echoed Monterey.
"There was not a family jar among
! 5o-oactic croplary Had thew
entered for the Dunmow Fitch, they
would have started the hottest favorites
known for years and won comfortably.
/ That marriage, my boy, was made in
/ heaven
But, like all things celestial. 1t has
/ oeen spoiled by terrestrial contact. And
/ the end"
about a month ago the man had a
! long and unpleasant interview with the
! keeper of his money bags, who resides
/ in a dusty office near Iincoln's Inn. He
was informed that if he didn't pull up
sharp he would drive his old cart over
/ the precipice-that old, familiar preci-
pice So he went home and shaped
/ speech embodying his reasons for pol
/ icy of peace. retrenchment and reform.
He delivered 1t at what he deemed a
! favorable moment. This programme
! (navine turned radical he mentally spell
4
opposition He carried the retrenchment
part of it. for he meant business, and
/ held the purse strings The reform he
shelved for a time But the peace mo-
/ ton despite his readiness to accept any
reasonable amendment. was carried to
| a division and lost. Here, however, this
/ parliamentary smile gets a little mixed.
He didn't resign. so the opposition has
allied itself to a third party. soughtsthe
l. -,
pose, the ContinenD, and the victory
rests with the government. Now. Phil,
which is It, his money on his wife?''
The light had entered Montercy's brain
and his hand few to the others shout
der Good heavens. Jack! You cannot
mean Agnes has
Eyes. old man. she has
Jack what have been saying? Are
you sure?"
"Oh, yes; It's the regulation roman a
trois, with all It's hackneyed accompani-
ments l have her few last words on
/ paper. I don't know who he is. I've
made out list. but I can't decide a
single starter. Even after the event I
can't prophesy. I only knew Of Il an
hour ago, and I came around here TO see
If you were missing. In such n case.
does not one always fly TO ones best
friend?"
"And after this"
Nothing. Am 7 bound to tour the
earth for them? Have they not put .
to inconvenience enough al-eady7 If 7
chance upon them ! suppose I ulu {
shoot him. or. better skill, horsewhp him
/ A man looks a bigger fool after thrash
; ing than he does upon a marble SLAB.
1 At present I suppose look Ike 2 fool
! The companion picture IN this matrimo-
NAL farce TO the rampant mother-i1-law
IS the deceived husband And sae-shc
has two lords; one spells his name with
capital; I'm the other. Oh, Agnes,
/ Agnes! wonder what your patron saint.
I the Virgin and Marty. thinks II you
now! Yet, Phil III % something Fl
mine own club. For, behold. I an once
more a bachelor-or, the next thing 70
#. Drink with me. Pail. and confes7
that for newly-dsserted husband m
the deuce q q cool hand
'Oh. stop that, Jack"
Don't. Pail. please: dor't say I'm sor-
rier than / look. It's a - common
place remark. ami it will deprive NE q
! The consolation derive from ina rfu n 2
that I'm taking it phflosoph.caily-"
And are you ruined?"
sOh dear. not From ore po,ra ~
view that's the u1ost calling part % q
7 only ask for moderator. The quss-
ton Sc, vii my income continue TO d.
rn.nish2 Upon my word, PIN. I'm afraid
il w5lI''
There was a Iong pause Presently
Jack Vineyard spoke through q s'ckiy
snEils.
There are two things, Phi. n this
unssvory business that positively give
ne oiea sure"
/ Zone Is
THAT she didn't bolt with you"
And the other
THAT she leaves ne 10 souvenir %
our cou1psnlonship which should -