West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1900-02-01


evening and fight during your sleep. am
glad 20 hear that you can reform for If we
! should fall out NJ the same time, | am afraid
there would be war on hand greater than
our late war was
II was very thoughtful in you to rent
house, for it would be very unpleasant to
have TO hunt shelter this winter out in the
cold and snow. am glad the house is out
Of town, for have always had mania to
live in the country. l appreciate your kind
ness in selecting house that has only two
rooms and no glass in the windows, as
won't have rs much work TO do as thought
l would As you are not able to hire ser.
want and my income is something less than
500 day, l might afford to hire n negro
10 clean the house. AS to your not inter
fering with a woman's work, that suits me
exactly, for II there is anything do despise,
It is for man to be hanging around the
house and debating how the house work
should be done.
As 10 the location of the spring il will do,
Tor can have the water carried through
pipes 10 the house for the sum of few
paltry dollars. As to the snuff cans, Iwon't
have To clean them for | have something
like thousand of my own. AS to the cigars
and diamond rings, they don't correspond
To- you.
jeremiah Coonskin is the one who wears
the diamond ring and smokes cigar mot
every ten minutes every two or three min
utes As TO the clothes, l can wear out as
many rs you can, but can replenish for both.
My sister tells me that l am the best cook in
the family. You must have told the truth
when yoi said that you always find a great
deal of fault with the cooking, for your for
mer boarding house proprietress said that if
she went away, you would not eat anything
until she returned because you thought her
daughters were poor cooks.
have home for my youngest daughter
now, so we can increase the number that we
adopt. will buy machine for scrubbng
the youngsters, SO that | won't have to ex-
ercise myself so much. As to paying the
preacher, might givehim my check-whch
IS worth nothing-and n abushel of onions.
There is only one thing that / ask of you,
and that is the engagement ring. If your
credit is not too bad, you may get the ring
and will foot the bill after get you.
must close. Hoping to hear from you
rs soon as possible, / remain,
Your prospective bride,
BETSY IRsRIN
i. $. As Miss S., who copied my
first letter is not here, send this in my own
handwriting. "HoRATIo, thou reasonest
we'll"
ANSWER.
Kingwood, w. Va, Jan. FL, 1000.
My Dearest Betsy:-
owe you oo9 apologies for this long neg
lect. But you will be patient won't you
dearest, till explain. In the first place, l
borrowed an overcoat that did not belong TO
me, and as the owner of it was getting after
me, | thought il best to 90 away awhile for
my health. never had good opinion of
county boarding house. Then in jumping
oil railroad train when the conductor was
coming for the ticket did not have, broke
nay neck, but as il was quite long, had the
ends tied together and in few days | was
all right again. / am few inches shorter
than used TO be. Then got my mustache
burned off at another time, and take IL all
round, am SO much better looking than
when went away, that the owner of the
overcoat did not know me, and / can keep
IL. And this was not all. As soon as /
came back, took the measles, and was put
IN dark coal she'd where | could only scold
the one who took care of me and think Of
you. was as cross as grizzly bear and
turned over once every two seconds Would
you think il, but the unfeeling wretch al
whose house am had a wheel fitted TO the
bunk was roosting on, and by means of a
belt they utilized the motion to grind all
the coffee and churn The butter. And then
they had the gall TO charge me IS cents day.
! would not pay it, would you But then
they may charge what they please. If they
make too much fuss, / will get you to pay
1.-THE bill--out of your hard earned money,
and will pay you in smiles and promises.
am not well enough yet, TO leave the
house, but am coming to see what you look
like as soon as am able to get out of this
prison
Are you good at frying buckwhea, griddle
cakes eat IS at every breakfast, and
can't bear to have them cold. / shall want
you to tend the frying so will neither have
to wait for the cakes nor have cold ones
am always very thoughtful in all housekeep-
ing matters and always manage to keep a
housckeeper busy from morning till night
So bye bye until my measly face fades out.
Your devoted,
ADoNDOg HAYRfCK.