Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-11-17
TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE


space at column, rates, yawned dismally.
my string for this week. he muttered
gloonily, looks aiKe q boned SQUAD" and
then his head fell IN his breast and he be-
gan to figure on how he could get that
suit of evening clothes away from the man
who lived at the Sign of the Doges. He
was still figuring on this when distin-
guished-looking man. instantly recognized
by the emergency reporter as one of the
most exalted of theJnited States senators,
walked into thG office and made for the
emergency reporter with a pleasant If Sc
cretive smile on. his dignifed countenance.
"Ah, my boy, delighted to have found you
in amiably chirrrped the famous United
States senator, taking a seat beside the
emergency reporter. 1--WE brought along
big piece of news for you that will scoop
the whole country. It's confidential let
ter to me from MIR. Mckinley. outlining In
great detail his future policy with refer
ence to the Philippine Islands. Let's see.
think it ought to make about four col
umns of your paper" and he passed over
to the emergency reporter a large pundie
known handwriting "You can just have
that typewriter. you know. and hand the
original back to me. Tut! tut! No thanks
II you please, my boy. Pleasures mine TO
be able to hand you a big thing IKE TINS.
Don't mention my name under any circum-
stances l know that I'm doing q great
wrong to the correspondents here OF news
papers published In my own state IN not
1 like you, boy, and 1 want to help you
along when 1 can. Good afternoon
In a state Of tremendous emulation the
emergency reporter was about to rush with
the manuscript into the office OF the man
aging editor, when he was interrupted by
the entrance Of q handsome matron,
dressed to the mines, whose countenance'
however. plainly showed that she had been
Thn
MIXING the Observation-Disclosures matron at
once as one of the chief fgurantes in the
social life Of the capital, quickly placed a
chair for her and courteously inquired OF
her if he could be of any assistance to her
in her evident distress.
mo" replied the swagger matron, IN
a tone OF sadness. as she Wlped the oD-
viously reluctant tears from her eyes with
an old point lace handkerchief. Except
that / wish you would state the matter IN
the most delicate manner possible for both
of US. My husband has really some good
traits impossible as 1 find 1t to longer live
with him. and l would not have you put
him in a wrong light I came down to tell
you. for publication, II you wish. that 1 am
about to bring suit for legal separation
from my husband"
The emergency reporter had great diff
Guilty in holding himself down, but he did
SO by the exercise Of great self-control
Then he delicately led up to the detils
which the well-known society woman gave
to him with great clearness and impair
tialty. The emergency reporter took the
words down from her own lips In short
hand. and when his lovely visitor. sank
back in her chair, with little sigh of
WEAKNESS. ne had enough facts. together
with her own story. to fill up six columns
of closely printed matter at least. He
started to give expression to the sense of
gratitude he felt to her for looking him up
and giving the tremendous sensation to
MIN exclusively. but she replied that she
felt that she owed 1t to him, considering the
pains he had taken to report her dinners
and receptions in preceding years.
'Oh, no, won't get enough out OF this
paper to keep it from paying dividends for
couple O. years. will r. murmured the
emergency reporter to himself as he
stuffed his two gigantic beats into an empty
waste basket and started again for the Of
flee Of the managing editor. Il won't have
mortgage on about two floors OF this
building. will I? And / WON'T
The sudden entrance OF the beaming.
stout cashier Of the newspaper broke off
this line Of reflection.
''Ha! old man. I always like to be the
first bearer of good news said the stout
cashier, heartily. clapping the emergency
reporter on the back. 'I've just come from
a conference of the powers, and 1t has been
unanimously decided that henceforth, be-
ginning with today, you are to receive
double-column rates for your matter. But,
look here" went on the stout cashier. low
ering his voice, you don't want to say any
thing about this to the other members Of
the staff, for they're liable to get Jealous,
y'see. and we don't"
Just then. however. the emergency re-
porter heard a sound as of the rushing of
many waters. which gradually resolved
itself into the voice Of the city editor. who
was shaking the emergency reporter awake.
Say. Pete" cold-bloodedly remarked the
city editor. as the emergency reporter be-
whereby rubbed his eyes, 1.-THE ladies' of
the Trailing Arbutus Literary and Higher
and Nobler Club are going to have bit of
a musicale tonight. Run up there and get
us few names Of those who take part in
the blowout. Just want about half stick
of Though to make a bluff at covering
the thing. You know what wall they set
up the last time when we left their high
jinks out"
Then the emergency reporter wandered
out into the chill. gray afternoon, and
thought, and thought. and thought, and
thought.