The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-03-07

led the way to the luncheon room. But
he was promptly stopped and warned
aside by an attendant, who said:
Pardon me, sir, let his excellency III
first
This man thought that the brilliantly
attiled earl must be the governor.
President Mckinley received a call
from a troupe of acrobats recently, and
While the oder members of the troupe
were being introduced youngster of {
hid behind the manager until the others
nere retiring, when the President noticed
him and asked his name. The lad, not
moving it was the President answered
prom pity. He then proceeded to inter
View his excelency thus: Il want to see
George Washington, the father of this
country" The President escorted the
lltt,p chap TO the picture of Washington
and explained that the original was dead.
well, what is your name"' asked the
boy. my name is William Mckinley, 2
Yves the smiling answer. What do you
do here?'' Il am the successor of George
Washington and the President of the
United States" replied the President,
looking kindly at the little chap, who col
iapstd.
"Wheres the old man?'' asked the
stranger of the darkey who answered
his knock at the cabin door.
''Dey tuck i'm up fer 'mooDshinin,' sub
he in Jail. suh."
And his son-where's hep
He's a-runnin' er de still sub: 'twell
de OF mans time is free!' -Atlanta Con-
stitution.
"Children make the most startling re-
Marks said one.
"They do" assented the other
Il know a little fellow who is ill-not
very Ill, however-with typhoid fever. He
has two twin brothers, 4 years of age.
One of these twins, named John, is an
observant child beyond his years. The
other day he, noticed one of his aunts
approa ching the house with a bouquet IN
her hands whereupon he exclaimed:
Here comes Aunt Jess with flowers to
bury Gene. -Pittsburg ChronicleTele'
graph.
The new leader of the united Irisl, par
ty in the British House of Commons is
not without certain Celtic readiness,
if one may judge by an incident in a re-
to house evidently weary of hearing
him. He said: Il must ask honorable
members to contain their Indignation un
til have DONE" W. Redmond-''Try to
talk sense" (Cries of Withdraw" y
The Speaker must ask the honorable
member to withdraw that expression
In Difference to your request, sir, l will
withdraw. / may say l withdraw that
expression; i will not ask him to speak
sense cob. oh.'o
The Boston Herald Chatterer "auto-
mobiles" small word already In" Il
observe somebody wants the automobile
contracted to mobe,' after the ong-ago
fashion of cab for cabriolet. But why
not 'bile?' Mobe is an ugly-sounding
new word to fasten on the language,
while bile is already in it,"
care you a son of the American Revo-
lution?'
mo; I'm a son-in-law."
'How's that?"
'Oh. one of the Daughters of the
American Revolution swooped down on
me and married me. '-Indianpolis Jour
nal
full to be dining together without q chap
eron!' Il should say so. Marriage is
certainly great economy. Puck.
''.At least said the Sweet Young
Thing, women live longer than men.
That shows they lead better lives
Il dunno whether they live longer or
not" said the Savage Bachelor. Il
know they stay old longer" -Indianapo-
lis Press.
Grinder-"What. alseep at your desk,
sir; and work so pressing Meekly-
all night Then you should have
brought it with you to the Office
Brooklyn Life.
Little Girl (crying)--"Oh, I've lost 10
cents that mamma sent me to the butch
er's with. Boo-hoo-hoo.' Kindly Strang-
er-"Come! Take heart, little girl" Il
can't sir; boo-hoo. It's liver she wants"
WilIe-"Pa, what's p-h-i-l-a-n-t-h-r-o-
Pa-"My son, he is a man who spends
his time inducing other people to spend
their money for charity. Philadelphia
Press. +
"Quo Vadis?" he asked The Telephone
Girl.
'Incog with Twins Burlesquers to see
the Rays in a Hot Time" was the reply
"Wot makes her tink she's bettern us ~
''She says it's cause OF her forefath-
ers'
-Four fathers? Huh. OATS nothing.
I've had siX."'-New York Journal
-:O:--
Fooled by a Physician: Hewitt
have been threatened with appendicitis
Jewett-'Who threatened you-the doe
torw--Bazar.
Five Dollars went a Long Way.
A Wilmington clergyman tells, in the
Philadelphia Record, Of a Philadelphia
couple who came to him to be married
ON do h.. LIZ II. L =