The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-09-19

and each faithful dog obeyed his mas
ter. The people at last craned their
necks over the pews. and when the dogs
actually fought not a few of the cOngre-
gat.on were outstanding. The minister's
patience was ultimately exhausted, and
so he called to his hearers and said.
"Ah. weel, my britherin, | see We are
more interested in the dog fight than III
my sermon, and so I'll close the buikc-
and III be. half Il crown on the collie.
y short time ago, at school in the
North of England during Il lesson on tho
animal kingdom, the teacher put the fol
lowing question::
Can any boy name me an animal Of
the order indentata; that is, Il roo;hless
animal?"
A boy whose face heamed with pleas
ure 1T the prospect OF good mark re-
piled:
Il can.
We'll. what is the anmal:"
My grandmother replied the boy, in
great giee.-Tit-B Bits.
/ heard Il good story the her day, and
maybe YOU have heard it, too; but, any
way, il is worthy of repetition:
Dan Grogan was Il prosperous con
tractor. and he had four boys, great, Big,
strappin' fellys, wild hanos on en- like
canvas hams AN wan day whin Dan
doid these same buc ros had floral pilly
made fer i'm wild Papa in purphel i'm
martcls ophon e.: Phwat do yees tnk
nv thin. Papa and thin wild hans as
big as hams!
We'll. they tuck Dan, pace be to his
soul. out Ia the cimetery, and phwin they
got i'm thayre the pailbearers all walked
along and dhropped Il clod az dirt upon
I'm, and thayre whoit gloves, as vel, and
thin the undertaken kim along wild the
pilly. He bumped up against Mick Nc
Carty and Knocked off the first i on
Papa, and ct left only a. p. A. Thin
they tellyphoned fher the caraner. =
Denver Times.
Four-year-old Dorothy Of Philadelphia
is used to IS lent grace a table. When
IN Episcopal minister dined with the
family the other day he was invited to
ask Il blessing. ''Sh. interrupted Doro-
thy rcprovingy. as the minister began,
I'VE always say grace before we talk. =
New York Evening Sun.
The newly-elected mayor of 4 country
town was about to make his first jour
ney III that capacity through the place.
The townspeople had arranged that from
an arch OF flowers under which he wa,
to pass Il floral crown should hang. sur
mounted by the words: He well de
serves it, But the wind blew away the
crown, and when the pompous mayor
passed under the arch. to the great JOY
Of those who had voted against him, on
~ Il rope with a moose at the end Of it
dangied there with He we'll deserves it
standing out in bold relief above it
New York Evening Post.
-:O:--
One of the Summer Sights in Boston
A stout lady, belted with superb
belt. on a large plate exactly ut the back
Of which was engraved i'll conspicuous
letters the name Emma As she
moved along the street, grand, gloomy
and peculiar, the small boys set up be-
hind her 4 shout of Whoa, Emma!'
Mrs. DeKanter-"Y said you were
going to be detained at your office all
evening, but YOU weren't there Now,
where were yOu?f
Mr.. DeKanter-"My dear, there's no
sense i'll your getting excited. 1t really
Mrs. DeKanter-"Why don't you an
Swer my question:
Mr.. DeKanter-"Iy dear. | would an
swer your question if | was sure You
wouldn't question my answer. "-Phila-
delphia Press.
Scene-Children' party punch and
Judy show go;ng):
Tom discovered by his hostess papa in
tears
Hostess Papa Afraid, Tom? Cheer
up, old man. they're only dolls"
Poor Frightened TOmmy-"They won't
be dolls when l dream about them to-
night"
\ somewhat cantankerous old farmer.
who lived in Il small village in Shrop-
shire, took TO himself Il young wife At
ter the union. however the parties did
not seem TO agree as we'll as might have
been expected.
One day after an alteration, in which
the wife had the worst Of ii, the vicar Of
the parish, happening to meet the old
man. rebuked him for his harshness, re-
minding him that the wife was the
weaker vessel
well, sir" was the logged rcjoinder.
IF she be the weaker vessel she didn't
ought ter carry as much sail.'-London
Spare Moments.
Mrs. D'Avnoo Cat front window
Policeman YES, ma'am. What's
wrong, ma'am?'
Mrs. D'Avnoo-"Nothin wrong: but
I wish you'd step into the kitchen and
tel 1.-The cook not to burn the meat. as
she did last night. I'm afraid to-
London Tit-Bits
Towne-''So you called on the Smiths
There's young girl next door to them
that pounds the piano all the time The
night /"
Browne-"Yes, she was playing all the
time [ was there"
Towne-"Was she? Can you imagine
anything worse than that?''
Browne-"Yes, it would have been
worse if l had been there all the time
she was playing. "-Philadelphia Press
There is quaint little story in Adj
miral Kennedy's book of recollections
about a lady of Calcutta who told the
admiralSs flag captain that ''she loved
to see the dear sailors lying drunk about
the street, it reminded her so of home"