davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
Relieve Hogs Are Possessed by Devils.

Relieve Hogs Are Possessed by Devils.
 All about Ottawa, in the farming community of the province of Ontario, Canada, peculiar sect called Zionists is still fourishing, in spite of the efforts of the authorities to break it up. The cardinal doctrine of their creed is that hogs are possessed by devils and should therefore be killed. It has been found necessary therefore to restrain other wise reasonable farmers from destroy ing what in many cases was chief means of their support. The Zionist farmers, in some instances, have joined together, driven all their hogs into one place, and there Killed them, in no in- stance allowing any of the meat to be used as food.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
A Cnnn SnecinIIsf

Maj. Hennery-Want a job, eh? What are you capable of doing?
 Applicant-WeE, suh, kin white wash chicken-coops.
 Anything else?"
 "Oh, yes; kin disinfect chicken coops."
 Anything else?"
 "Yes, suh; I kin repair chicken coops."
 Anything else?"
 "Wen, yes but dat's about all I kin do to chiclSen-coops in de daytime. ."- Judge.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
Effects of Antarctic Night.

Dr. F. A. Cook. describing the effects of the long antarctic night on the hu- man body and mind. says that on the exploring ship Belgiac. as the cold night heightened, all became pale with kind of greenish Lue." The heart grew feeble in its action. The men were incapable of concentrated thought. One sailor was driven to the verge of insanity, but when the re- turning sun began to reappear above the horizon he recovered.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
His Line of Criticism.

'tI understand" said the neighbor, "that your husband is a dramatic crit ic."
 ''No,' replied the little woman, bit terly; "he is even worse than that. He is household critic. Chicago Post.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
Uncle BiII,s Ideas.

The best laid schemes of mice or men generally catch woman.
 Some fellows aim high enough, but they haven't the energy to pull the trigger.
 A sensible fellow isn't afraid another will win his best girl because he's used to holding his own.
 It is always dangerous to leave your front door unlocked all night; you may find the cook gone in the morning. Cleveland Leader.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
Distinction.

'I don't blame you for discharging your maid," said the friend. ''She wasn't worth her salt"
 "All that I objected to-" said Miss Cayenne, twas her fiery temper. She was worth her salt, but she wasn't worth her pepper. Washington Star.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
The Real Thing.

Ferdinald-And do you really love me?
 Penelope - Love you, Ferdinald! Why, only yesterday papa asked me if I wouldn't sooner have a. cocker span iel, and l refused!-Puck. ---
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21

TO THE DEAF.-A rich lady. cured of her Deafness and Noises in the Head by Dr. NicholsOn's Artificial Ear Drums, gave $l0.OO0 to this Institute so that deaf people unable to procure the ear Drums may have them free. Address No lS3 The Instituis. Long colt" Gunnersbury, London w., Eng Iand.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21

iggs-Stubbs says he has been working so hard at his business that he hasn't seen his wife for weeks.
 Griggs-I should say that that was combining business with pleasure.- Town Topics.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
EeEetableB,

"Did you buy those cigars of mine al a cigar store?" he asked.
 Certainly" she replied. ''Where did you think bought them?"
 "I wasn't certain that you didn't get them at your green grocer's. ."-Phila- delphia North American.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
HIS Amendment. 4

She-Do you agree with the sentiment that a woman is as old as she looks?
 The Crusty Baehelor-I should insert "at least" before ''as Id."-Puck.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
uhwT.,. Turuodno-u

Mabel-Why is the lamp superfuous in 'ove-making2
 Alice-I suppose it's because love is bLnd.-Judge.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
Truthful Bav.

"What is the reason a chicken cannot swim? You may answer, Tommy"
 'I don't know, ma am. 1 never saw one try to swim.'-Chicago Tribune.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
She Knew,

At recent examination in chemistry in high school not far from Boston, the teacher asked young lady to give an example of a vegetable fat. "Leaf lard," was the prompt reply.-Boston Tran Scrinf
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
Smoke.

The chimneys that loom up so high Are like the men we know; Ofttimes there's lots of smoke above. And little fire below Chicago Times-Herald.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
ST. JOHNS HERALD

IT P. FISHER. NEWSPAPER ADvER
 Lstising Agent. 2IkIerchants' Exchange Bailding, San Francisco, is our authorized aRSnt. This paper is kept on file in his Ofilce'
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
Autftheais.

"How did you come out with your little flyer in the stock market?"
 That wasn't flyer" answered the morose friend. "That was sinker." -Waashington Star.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
A DednffiOn.

Miss Askin-What is plunger, MT. Ticker?
 MT. Ticker-A plunger is a man who, sooner or later, takes dive and doesn't come up!-Puck.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
IT WILL PAY YOU TO TAKE "THE HERALD"

IfyOu don't take the HERALD, you won't owe us for it. If you take the HERALD and pay for it, you won't owe us.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
Borrow. Everythinr Else.

'Shortieigh is always cheerful-never borrows trouble"
 ''He has to draw the line somewhere" IN. Y. Journal.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
Even the LandJady Smiled,

"What is a sausage?" inquired the sweet singer.
 "A sausage" grinned the comedian boarder, 'is ground hog."-Chicago Daily News-
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
Topheavy Outlines.

''Ix my new hat all right?"
 ''Yes, dear; you look like 8 laundress carrying home her days work on her head, ,"-Chicaeo Rseord-
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
Unite EmnhaAln.

Employer-What did Blinks say when you presented the bill?
 Collector-Er-would you mind ask ing the lady typewriter to leave the room while I tell you?-Tit-Bits.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
An ImpOaaikflity.

Photographer-Look pleasant, please. Sitter-Car't. I live in a boarding '. World
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21
Dublin an Unhealthy City.
A Sor, of Combinatfon,

DuDlln mas the unhappy preemlnence
 of being at present the most unhealthy
 city in the United Kingdom.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-04-21

bad sss s
 ss s 9 @ raco6
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-02-22
TROUBLE AGAIN.

"Now the byes thinkin' as how I
would have since enough to pick
somethin' strikin' they lift it to me.
So off goes an has the undertaken git
a foine piece of roses with the wurd
Papa all nicely ixd.
"The Finnigan's thot it wuz foine, an
when me an the byes wint down to
the house as soon as we were in the
door, it was p pa p pa-a' from livery
wan of thin, until yez had ter put up
yer umbrella or git drowend. Every
ting wint lovely until we got to the
grave; an as l was standin' there as
meek as yez PLACE, felt noice rap in
the nose, an then siveral more raps,
an then quite bunch of raps by way
of a change.
"Weii after whole, er may be it was
before, [ disremember which now, I
managed to look around an foind out
what the trouble was. An ther the
dom fool undertaken had dropped the
'P' off the sP-A-P-A A. an the byes were
soakin' me fer invitin' them to A. P.
A. funeral" Doc.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-02-22
Could Not Miss His Picture.

One of the high school teachers of
Brooklyn is an enthusiastic amateur
photographer. While he was spending
the summer on Maine lake, year or
80 ago, his heart was cruelty divided
between paternal solicitude and devo-
tion to his art. He was out swapping
picturesque shore views from his
canoe, with his little son, when he
heard splash behind him, and turn
ing, saw stream of bubbles on the
water His son was nowhere in sight.
The frenzied parent gazed around him.
Suddenly there was a ghgling sound,
and little Willie bobbed in view, with
a purple face and protruding eyes.
"HeIp, papa" he spluttered. The de-
voted father reached for boat hook,
when his eye fell on his camera, and
he became at once the stern devotee of
the lens, to whom no sacrifice was i'm
possible. "One moment, Willie," he
shouted, seizing the camera. Just as
the youngster went down the second
time his father snapped the shutter.
He got an excellent likeness of a
scared boy with saucer eyes and wisp
of wet hair cawing the liquid element
with despairing fingers.
When his son came up the third time
the father promptly retrieved him with
boat hook. The snap shot is now
priced family possession, but it is al
ready family conviction that when
little Willie gets big enough he will
either punch his papa's head or smash
his camera-New York Mail and Ex-.
press.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-02-22
Written for The Prison Ml7TOr.
TIM
GETS
IN

Written for The Prison Mirror
"Hello, Tim! an it's foine pair of
lamps yez be after havin'. Phere did
yez git emp
"Shure an it's bad luck to the Fin
nigans," says Tim.
"lt's divil thing I'd be after doin'
fer them agin."
"lt's very ividint yez were not pris-
int at Pat Finnigan's funeral, er yez
wouldn't be around here akin foolish
QUESTIONS of gintilman with a face
loike mine."
Come into Casey's now an tell me
all about it."
SWELL" says Tim, "ye know Pat Fin
nigan fill off the roof of the buildin'
over beyant where he was workin', an
his heart stopped batin' kind a sudden
loike. Now Pat not bein' in the best of
colour wild the byes, they all stayed
away from the wake.
"But out of simpathey fer Mrs. Fin
nigan, who was a Dolan before she
fill into Pats net, 1 tould the byes ter
git up foine floral dicaration an we'd
all go to the funeral.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-02-22
Written for The Prison mirror.
ORuriCk's Valentine.

"How are ye Mr.. Dunahue? An did
ye recave valentine OF din nap"
"Faith an OF did, Jan, an bi the
same token, if OF had the divil who
stint it, old give him what Dom Paul
gave the British. But, Jan, where in
the divil have ye been this long tonne !?
Twas rapoorted ye has jined the
Doors, along wild Spike Hennesy and
O'Donavan Rossa"
swell, Dan, oi don't mOind tillin' ye,
if yell promise not to give it away.
Olive been down to Frankfort, KY,
houldin' a council wild the Dimicrat
aldermen, an bechune us, we will have
a Dimicrat Governor or close the dis
tillery."
'"Arrah Jan the Dimicrats are the
p'aple, an if it wasent FOR the way
they kape their oye on Mckinley an
Hanna, the country would be ruined.
More power to them. But not
changin' the subject, Jan, did ye get a
valentine lasht Thursday?"
'Arrah! an of course OF did, an
faith oi was surprised whin OF first seen
it, Ye see Missis GihooIeys, where
oi'm bourdin' is ginteel place, an the
lady herself hands me the box when OF
came in, an saiz she:
"'Mr. O'Rurick, here's box for ye,
lift by nagar, with arders to handle
carefully An Dan, as she saiz that,
it flashed acrost me memory that
aither the English sint it or else the
Republican party heard OF was goin' to
help thin down Taylor of Frankfort,
KY But oi'm war man aven if OF do
say so, Dan, an so OF lifts the box off
the silver card recaver, which Mrs.
Gilhooleys had placed it on, an bys O
bys it was loite as feather. <Faith,'
saiz OF, if ye are dinimite boom an
weigh that loite OF can stand it if We
do go off, SO as Mrs. Gilhooley slipped
back OF opened the box. Musha! ye
may spake of Pandoras trunk an
cupid's roight and left bower, but of
all the illigint things, ye niver saw the
loikes. There was puffs an there was
cuffs, there was pansies an there was
daisies, there was gould an there was
silver, there was hOuls an there was
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-02-22

ent, there was sints from Arabia an
scolops without ind. An the pourtry
but that's sacred, Dan. Mrs. Gill
hooley troyed to rade it, but OF stopped
her; an she shipped an saiz she:
"'Ye may kape yer sacrets an valen-
tines to yerself if ye loike, Mr.. O'Ru-
rick; but old be obliged to ye if ye
would pay up the lasht six months
bOurd ye owe me-
"Well Dan Oi behave the auld Baushe
wanted to be me valentine herself, an
so she was jious of me swate Colleen
May. But OF won't take no valentine
from Mrs. Gilhooley if she brakes me
to pay that board bill"
JAN O'RURICK.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-02-22

If we could but believe, as McDolley
stated, that England would give equal
rights to all, it would be different. We
car only judge her action in. South
Africa by the light of her past deal
ings with defendants; and so judging
her, who is there that can say that
England is prompted by motives other
than those which have prompted her
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-02-22
A SCATHING DENUNCIA-
TON OF ENGLAND'S
PAST AND PRES
ENT METHODS.
Her Civilization Has Been
a Curse Wherever Her
Rule IS Paramount.

Paper Read Before the ChautduqAa Circle.
In opening my remarks it may not
be out of place for me to state that if
any of the members of this Circle On
tertains the idea that they are about to
be treated to another intellectual cock
tail, such as they enjoyed two weeks
ago today from the brilliant pen of our
friend Lord McDolley, they will be
disappointed. 1 am no word painter
rs my vocabulary is very limited and
there is not sweet word in it, es-
pecially when I tackle subject of
this nature. My object is to just sim
ply pour few Irish American knock
cut drops into John Bulls favorite
HOggin of half-and- half.
Now when L say John Bull, refer
to the English government, not its
people; for I cherish no ill will or
malice towards the English people as a
whOe-or for that matter, any other
people. never find fault with or abuse
q man because he did not happen to be
born in the same country that 1 Was;
and | consider it absolutely none of
my business whether the single indi-
vidual of a nation, or it's whole people,
worship at the shrine of a Chinese
Joss or bow down and do homage to
stuffed bullfrog, providing they don't
jump over the religious breastworks of
their own reservation and interfere
with the individual rights of others.
But John Bull would corner the
religious market to crafty his own
selfish and mercenary ends. He boldly
tells the world that he rules by divine
right; that in all his wars of conquest,
rapine and plunder, he is guided in his
every act by the hand of Providence.
Now John is generous enough to
always give the glory to God, but he
takes particular pains to always stuff
the swag down in his own capacious
''kick." If we are to believe John
which [ most emphatically do not-he
is in daily communication with the
Almighty and receives his instructions
from heaven, through the medium of
a divine messenger. Now if there is
any truth in history, and judging from
Johns present life it is altogether more
likely that he gets his orders from his
satanical majesty, through the agency
of wingless angel, with cloven hoofs,
whose standard of morals is on a par
with that of Oscar Wilde, the erstwhile
leader of London's most fashionable
society.
England also poses as the advance
agent of civilization. Let the news
reach Johns ear of gold being dis
covered in some far off land, and he
comes to the conclusion that a people
who discover gold must necessarily
be in need of English civilization.
Accordingly John proceeds thither
with his battleships and cannon, red
cross nurses and bunch of missionar-
les, to give them practical lesson in
English civilization.
When John throws the cloak of re-
iigion over his hypocritical shoulders
and starts out on what he designates as
an elevating expedition, he is actuated
by the same motive and has the same
object in view that the professional
shoplifter has. But the shoplifter is
not altogether devoid Of conscience.
In plundering clothing store he will
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-02-22
81 90 per year, in advance
Six Months 80 cents.

in the past in China, Ireland and
India? l sincerely hope that the be-
ginning of the end of England's wars
of conquest against weaker and small
er nations is at hand. May the Beers
win and may England learn by the
action of all foreign nations that the
civilized world is not in accord with
her principle of "might over right" il
my earnest prayer. F. M.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-01-06
TIE SYMPTOMS ARE:

1. BILIOUS HEADACHE-This Is more pronounced in the morning, though usual ly occurring at frequent intervals through the day. HUDYAN will relieve the head ache.
 2-S RED AND wATERY EYES-HUD- VAN will cause the redness to disappear and make the eyes assume their normal healthy appearance.
 4. COATED TONGUE AND FOETID BREATH AND BAD TASTE IN THE MOUTH-EUDYANv will clear the tongue. make the breath pure and sweet and cause the bad taste to disappear.
 ,. PAIN AND TENDERNESS IN THE STOMACH-This is due to indigestion. HUDYAN will cause the food to become perfectly digested and the pain and ten derness will disappear.
 6. ENLARGEMENT OF THE LIVER AND A FEELING OF HEAVINESS AND WEIGHT-HUDYAN will lessen the congestion, establish a free and perfect flow of bile and reduce the enlarged liver to its normal size.
 HUDYAN will relieve you of the above symptoms and make you we'll. Do not delay.
 You will find full and explicit directions wrapped with each package of HUDYAN. Go to your druggist at once and procure a package of HUDYAN for soc. or for s 5e. If your druggist does not keep 1t. send direct to the HUDYAN REMEDY COMPANY, San Francisco or Los An geles, Cal, and they will send 1t to you, You can consult the great HUDYAN DOCTORS FREE. Do not forget that. Call and see them if you wish. You may call and see them or write, as you desire. Address
The St. Johns herald., 1900-01-06

E. Schuster Esq, our esteemed fel-
 low citizen, and family. received some fine presents Friday from relatives in Germany. The brother of our towns man, 4. Schuster Esq. of Holbrook,
 recently returned from "das Vater- land, :" and the folks at the old nome
 sent each of the family fine presents. The Mid-winter Member ofthe Los Angeles Times IS simply immense and
 superb. 4 large variety of the most
 exacting readers could not fail to praise the thorough make up of this excellent
 edition.
 IL has been demonstrated repeatedly
 in every state in the Union and in ma
 ny foreign countries that Chamberlain
 Cough Remedy is a certain preventive
 and cure for croup. It has become the
 universal remedy for that disease. N.
 Y. Fisher of Liberty, ". Va. only re-
 peats what has been said around the globe when he writes: II have nsed
 Chamberlain's Cough Remedy in my
 family for several years and always
 with perfect success. We believe that
 it is not only the best cough remedy,
 but that it is q sure cure for croup.
 It has saved the lives of our children a number of times. This remedy is for
 sale by the St. Jehns Drug Co.
 Capt. John T. Hogue, our worthy Probate Judge, was welcome caller at
 the Herald sanctum, Tuesday evening. Knowing the Judge to be an ex-editor, and popular man in the public eye, and this being election year, We tried to show OUT esteem by handing him a biz batch of citizens" Thinking it too small token of regard, though of great excellence, we presented the "re- public" which we had at our disposal. We supplied him with "presses." reporters, ''gazettes." and "bulle- tIns" to corral in graphic" descrip- tion the "news" of the "times." We turned over to him our "miners, ""pros- pectOrs" and "our mineral wealth." Argus" we gave to watch his enemies and the mails" to carry him Informa- tion of their slightest movements. We presented him "belt," glittering with gems" and long enough to reach around the globe. We gave him the thriving "oases" for pleasure grounds, assuring him that the ''stars" and the G sum-" the great "orb' of day, would add much to bis comfort. The Capt. seemed pleased with our "enterprise" and assured us that he would put us on "record" as genuine "hustlers" in this prosperous ''era" of the frontier" IS too good to give the Capt. God bless him!- so we just gave him full control ofthe world" and threw l i'll a plenty of republicans" "tri- bunes, "heralds," 1" "couriers." ''guar- d,ar s" ''watchmen," "sentinels" and | "Arizonians" to look after bis inter- ests. The people will give him any, thing he asks for, should he consent to be candidate; this in 8 measure secures him paradise" And judg- ing from tactics employed formerly in Arizona campaigns, tne oppositiCn, if any, will give him "hades" before the | election IS over.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-01-06
OUR TERRITORY.

The Argus last week forgot to give tho Herald credit for a Washington let ter which we published in the interests of the stockmen the week previous. Of course it doesn't h urt "Ben, Bert" or the stockmen to nave the letter Tn the Argus,- all the Herald asks is to tote fair.
 Ex-Governor L, c. Hughes delivered an eloquent address before the Territo- rial Teachers Association at Tucson. And gave a brief outline of the growth of the present public school system. He sad that Arizona now has two hun dred and fifty school districts. three hundred and seventy-fve teachers, 20, GOO school children and $500, 900 worth of school property.
 The Citizen says that enc ofthe hand somest punches of school ma 'ams that ever invaded city were entertained in Tucson during the Association.
 Nearly POO teachers attended the As soeiatiOn.
 The next session will be Tn Tempe The following officers were elected: President, |. Yale Adams, Territorial University; Secretary, J. c. Cole, Phe nix; Treasurer, Geo. NJ. FIzzell, Tempe
The St. Johns herald., 1900-01-06
COALVILLE, UTAH,
 DEC. 24, 1898. Editor, St. Johns Herald,
 St. Johns, Ariz.

EdltOr, St. toms Herald,
 St. Johns, Ariz.
 Dear Sir:
 wish you Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
 Soon after my arrival here Nofear Davis wrote me stating that he would send me the Herald. Since that time I have been looking anxiousy for the paper until yesterday, when it came. It was perused with the utmost care. It was equal to letter from home. l thought 1 would inform you that am in possessin oft, and am very glad to have it.
 Thinking that you would like to know what I am dong here, shall tell you that am trying to show mankind the gospel as contained in the Holy Bible. 1 shall let the people, with whom am iabofing. judge how successful my en- deavors have been There is one thing I would like said of me when am gone from here, as the great Napoleon said of himself: he might have lost battles but he never lost time.
 Iours Respectfully. J. s. Gibbons.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-01-06
A Life And Death Fight.

Mr. w. A. Hines of Manchester. Ia. writing of his almost miraculous es- cape from death, says: Exposure after measles induced serions lung trouble, which ended in Consumption. 1 lad frequent hemorrh ages and coughed night and day. All my doctors said 1 must soon die. Then began 10 use Dr. Kings New Discovery for Consump- tion. which completely cured me. I would not bS without II even If it cost $5 co bottle. Hundreds have used it on my recommendation and all say It never fails to cure Throat, Chest and Lung troubles" Regular size soc and S1OO Trial bottles free at St. Johns Drug Co
The St. Johns herald., 1900-01-06
NUTRIOSO ITEMS.
January 8, 1900.

January 8, 1900. The dry weather is a fair sample of the way Holidays have passed The school gave Christmas Tree entertainment on the evening of the 24th.
 The young people of the village en- joyed themselvs very mnch in the ball room Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday evenings. Some of the Springerville young people honored us with their presence Friday.
 George Walker, John and Rain Lee. and Dave Love, of the Blue, spent the Holidays here.
 Pollard Pearson and wife spent their Christmas in Springervile. Frank Alger and wife are going to the Gila on a visit to their son.
 KATE
The St. Johns herald., 1900-01-06

Francis Bacon Pianos, established in New York 17S9, made by the oldest firm in the United States strictly high grade in every respect, equal to any piano made and at very moderate prices, taking into consideration the quality of these mag nifcent instruments. General western office, Howard w. Foote 6. Co., 307-309 Wabash Ave, Chicago. Agents for Ari- zona, St Johns Drug Co.,, St. Johns, AIil
 Write for prices catalogue etc.