The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-04-01
Fun Of the World.

Colonel Hay, vito in writing Lincoln 5
life declared that his time was largely
occupied in destroying mots falsely at
tributed TO the president. repeated ore
recently told to him which he believes
to be genuine. A man from Buffalo went
to the White House and said, as he
shook hands, I'VE in Buffalo put our
trust in God and in Abraham Lincoln .
We'll, my friend" said the second in
the partnership. as he passed his visitor
on, you are more than half right"
&c
Young Willie Jefferson, son of the ia
nous Joe" is a typical Jefferson, in
habits. manners. looks, and wit. Some
weeks ago, Willie was given a nice, fat
sum out of the savings of his distin-
guished father. and allowed to so to
Europe for the summer Willie went
One day Joseph Jefferson received a ca
blegram from Willie. then in Paris: "Send
five hundred dollars-NiIie" The elder
Jefferson answered.: What for?'' The
reply seemed to arrive almost before
Mr.. Jefferson's message was sent II
read: For Willie" Willie received the
money.
There is a boy scholar in one of the
grammar schools of Philadelphia who
44clS set lis ICdNA4Gl NO4QttlllS NltNAGT he
is one of the unsophisticated students of
the age or a real humorist. AT a recent
monthly examination one OF the ques-
tons in physiology the pupils were call
ed upon to answer was What is the
patella or knee pan?'' The answer of
Young Innocent or joker was as follows:
The pateliaS or knee pants is trousers
which extend from the waste to the knee
and were worn by grown UP men during
george Washington's administration.
They are not worn by men In the pres
ent Time except bicycle riders and men
who play golf. but are only worn by
small Boys. Evry Boy is glad when be
is old enough TO take off his patellas
which extend from the waste to the
ankei."
z ags
One of the good stories Is going
around among the lawyers about Con-
gresham LittlefieId. Twas when the
congressman was stumping in his cam
paign. 1t was up in Franklin county
town. The chairman of the committee
wanted 10 give Charles a good send-off,
and so he said:
Ladies and Gentlemen: This is Hon.
Charles E. Littlefield, who Is known
from Eastport to York as the one great
orator of Maine. This, fellow citizens,
is Hon. Charles E. Littlefeld. who will
talk to you from the setting of the sun
until the rising up thereof"
Applause.
Then up rises Charles and darts a fall
con glance at the chairman and another
as piercing at the audience.
Gentlemen" said he, you and the
chairman can stay here in this hail if
you want to until the rising Of the sun,
but as for myself I'll tell you right now
I'm going to be out of this hall in just
fifty minutes
And the applause that he got then was
in earnest.
x e R
Sir Augustus Harris once settled the
pitch question in his own off-hand fash
Ion. A famous prima donna of his opera
came TO him complaining that
the piano used for vocal rehearsaIs was
too high, and saying that ii might be
lowered. Certainly" replied Drurio-
lanus. with a bow, Here, Forsyth. have
a couple of inches sawn off the legs of
this piano."
q aa Il
Some time ago a Chicago man decided
to name his infant daugh Eulalia, in
honor of the Spanish InfaH a. And hav-
ing done So he thought IT would be the
proper thing to inform the Princess Of
the honor he had paid TO her. He there
fore wrote to her on a sheet OF his Of
dee paper, and addressed II. "Infanta
Eulalia, Spain, Europe" adding the word
Europe to prevent the letter from going
by mistake TO Spain. S. D. In course Of
time he received a reply from the In
fanta, in which she graciously thanked
him for the honor. 1t was the direction
n t11o h,.r~
cited the admiration of all who beheld
It. The address ran: