The evening times., 1900-06-27
TBB WRONG ASSIGNMENT
A Funny Mans Views of the Re-
publican Convention.
BY Accident He Receives INSTRUCTION.
But Obeys Orders and Sends in His
Impressions of Happenings at the
Recent Gathering In Philadelphia.

A slight mistake was made in the Office
of this paper last Tuesday Two notes
went wrong. One note was written TO a
him 70 90 to Philadelphia on "Wednesday
and attend the Republican National Con-
vention- An envelope, intended for this
note, was directed 10 the Fifth Avenue
Hotel. Another note was written 10 a
man who sometimes contributes articles
supposed 70 be humorous, asking him 10
attend a cake walk, tickets for which had
been sent to the Office. An envelope was
directed to the sanatorium uptown where
this man has lodgings. There is reason
10 believe that each OF these notes vas
put into the wrong envelope. One reason
for believing this is that the political man
the next morning sent his resignation TO
the Office. without any explanation. and
another reason is the remarkable letter
which vas received from the humorist,
explaining why he couS not write the
article which was requested of him. II is
not necessary to reproduce the whole of
this letter which was rather long, but IL
contained the expressions which follow.
Your request that l should attend the
Republican National Convention was some
what Of surprise 10 me. as / had not
heard, IN the quiet life which I lead, that
anything Of the kind was gong on felt
your request 70 be a compliment how
ever, as it showed that you recognized
that my knowledge Of things was Of that
vide and general sort which every good
newspaper man should have, and was not
confined to any one department. Though
l DO not make a speciality of politics, am
nevertheless well informed on that as
on most subjects and II there had been
anything about the Convention which was
worth recording l should hav, covered the
assignment promptly and should have sent
you full report The fact wss. however,
that the Convention proved 70 be failure,
with scarcely anything in the least degree
amusing connected with IT, AS an eX
change OF sentiments among the delegates
IL may have been a pleasing and com
mendabie sffaIr, but I Was not long n
discovering that II was OF 70 public in
terest. and FOR you 20 print any account
Of il would be only a waste Of space.
An Accommodating Gai;e.
When I got Of the train in Philadelphia
I asked a policeman IL be knew anything
about any Convention in town or whether
he thought tbst-I could find out by enquir-
ing at the City Hail or at any Of The ns,es
He said yfat there WIS one. and asked what
it was that I wanted 20 know about IL.
told him hat wanted 10 know how 10 get
20 IL, whereupOn he walked q whole b.Olk
20 show ne What car 10 take may as well
say righF here that 7 found all the Fhi,a-
delphia lrr .ie. from policemen down, 70 I
obNgiLg about telling me anything that
wanted 10 know. I like Philad lpa.a md
l don't mind saying 50. Il makes you fl
rested Just 10 be there.
I found THE Cuuyarrin~ NJ horr a~v from
bic. for the conductor On the car k1ey
about il too. The PhIaE=I9L-l pe1p-s. as
a community. are very intelligent Tie
Convention was really an impressive >igEt,
and 50 is the Brooklyn Bridge; but yOu
don't take sudden fits OF publishing ar ices
about IL I am bound 10 ssy that ! never
saw so many people gathered T. see %
little
When I went IN due locking man was
making 4 speech. IN which Il seemed 20
me that he talked very se1sib by. \ Phjla-
delphia reporter who sat next 10 me Tod
me that il vas senator Lodge. and ! thiak
he said taat be wcs from Massachusetts,
bat I an not sure about that II may
have been Michigan. but I am pretty sure
II began with an NJ II you really want 70
print anything about this affair. perhaps
some one Of your reporters can get enough
out of this letter 20 make up a short az
ticle In that csse II YOU want 70 know
where this man vas from you can grOba-
bly, fEd out from The Tribune Almanac"
as he is a United States Senator. That is,
/ suppose he IS. because he couldn't be a
Pennsylvania St,lte Senator if he anne
from Massachuse5 Is or Michigan His name
may have been Dodge. I liked his speech
veyy much. but -there was nothing funny
about it, and so il is not worth report
ing