The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1900-01-31

of the Law, Medical and Divinity Col.
leges of certain University. The
Law school was next door to the jail
the Medical school was next to tie
burying-ground - and the Divinity
school was on the road to the poor house
".
Another illustration Of the "fitness
of things" - About midway between
two New England cities, you pass
low, dingy hovel, whose whole outward
appearance 8 suggestive of the vice
and degradation within. 1t is a grog,
| shop, where concentrated death in de.
coctions of benzine is dispensed to
! thirsty travellers at five cents glass.
Directly opposite is the burying-
ground. The weary traveller, as he
halts to rest and refresh himself,
smiles grimly as he reads over the sa-
loon door this cheerful inscription:
"Key to the cemetery. Inquire NTH
ini,
Irish wit is proverbial Patrick
can't open his mouth that joke or u
'bull' doesn't come out. Pat had d
case in court against a church descon,
who was trying to cheat him out Of his
wages. Alter the Deacon had given
his testimony, Pat claimed the right TO
cross-examine him himself, as he had
no lawyer. 81 SUPPOSE" he said to
the Deacon, eye think yersef an hon
list man." 81 do" said the Deacon.
"Let me tell ye," said Pat, eye think
turrible lie!' After court, the Dea.
con encountered Pat, and asked him a
question. "Don't you think | shall.
get to Heaven, tho 1 did testify
against your" "Ye may" says Pat,
"but begob! yell be the last man lu!'
".
The feuds between r ,mansts and
Protestants in Ireland are known to all
readers of history. For more than
three hundred years the "Crappy" and
the "Orapgeman" have hated eech
other with a hate which is perfectly in
comprehensive to an outsider. Act
ing upon this feeling, the Protestant
"council'' of a Protestant city in the
"North of Ireland" had this couplet in
scribed over the city gate:
| slew, Turk and Atheist
| May 81 ter here, but never Papist!
One fine morning the Protestant,
were Mortified at beholding this add
ton to their uncharitable inscription
"who'er writ this has writ it well,
For the same is writ Ger the gates of HIP
-.
An Irish member of Parliament was
speaking of certain statesman's love
of money. "Let not" he said, ''et no
the honorable member express con
tempt for mcney-for if there is any
one office that gltters in the eyes o.
the honorable member, il is that o
Purse Bearer! A pension, to him, i,
the compendium of all the virtues
All his state manship is comprised il
the art of taxing; and for good, better
BEST in the scale of human nature, b,
invariably reads, pence, shillings, anC
poundsl' l verify believe" he con
tlnued, rising to the height of his con
ception, "that if the honorable sentle
man were an undertaken, it would b,
the delight of his heart to see sll man
kind seized with common morality
that he might bury them ALL and fur
nsh scarfs and hatbands for the sur
vivors"
-
So, too, Patrick il the most gallant O
all nations. He ad0res the sex. He i
an artist in his admiration of a prett
face. To illustrate: An English duch
ess, noted for her beauty, said sh
never felt really fiatiered but twice il
her life. Crossing crowded street on
day, she was saved from being ru
over by passing vehicle, by an Iri.t
man, who was shoveling the mud fror
the cross-walk "What can Civ
your said the Duchess. "for the sci
vice you have done me?' Offering hiu
her purse. Pat refused to take i,
"But Patrick" said she, 81 must d
sometbing-you have saved my life
What shall it be?" To which he re
Piled, "just let me light me pipe by ye
eyes, yer ladyship" said Pat, with tru
poetic chivalry. At another time tn
Duchess was asked by an old Irist
woman who was selling flowers. "Plazt