The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1900-12-22

Oid CAhdhoticuy III Willie l. lay tueTe
helpless and unconscious some de-
graded creature q think it was Anna,
the maid came in and wound him up.
AT 2:30 o'clock started broad
awake and that bird stepped out and
went 1t thirteen times. / had been
dreading that all along. He'd seen
those Neutrality-suspicious. clocks, and now
he was going to ring all those changes
on me. You see, of course, what it would
DO. 1t would double all those ratios; 1t
would make every number almost twice
as hard to multiply and divide, and
would mix everything up just twice as
much as 1t was before.
At 3 o'clock the doctor came. He
felt my pulse and inquired If l didn't
feel feverish. told him what l want
ed to know was how many crows
would a clock cook at 7:30 next Tues
day morning II 1t started In the first
day either half an hour slow or eleven
and a half hours fast, or fast or slow,
as the case might be, in that ratio; and
the second and third days, either an
hour n a half slow or ten and a half
hours fast, or fast or slow in that ratio.
and the fourth day stopped five hours
and then cooed thirteen cooks at 2:3O.
He asked what sort of liquid nourish-
ment | had been having. l said could
MT. he answer a simple question and
not strike off on tangents that had
nothing to do with the matter? Was
| to use algebra or mensuration? He
stroked my hair and gently said he
wouldn't worry; that was all right.
He gave me some decOction when he
went. 1t was to make me sleep, |
judged, but it did not work very we'll.
1t went off duty whenever the cuckoo
went on, and he came out every six or
eight minutes all night. Up to 3 o'clock
he was at the multiplication table,
backwards and forwards, and after 3
it was division.
When the doctor came next day he
said my condition was critical. / told
him, If he would help me, we could
work it out in no time. Simply put
the whole clock into a geometrical pro-
~gression-the first term the sum Of the
ratios, under the radical sign D., 80
degrees Fahrenheit plus the difference
In longitude; the quotient of the least
common multiple of the opponents of
the factors as the square of the hypo-
thenuse and X as the cuckoo.
He took out his lancet and bled me.
Then he mixed another draught and
mat did the business. For sound Sleep
Ing Juliet wasn't a circumstance.
awoke at length refreshed. 1t was
just $50 and the cuckoo gave the half
hour right. All ineffable calm stole
owe me, 1t seemed as If the rest might
all have been a troubled dream. Alas.
| should have known by this time that
1t was only a strategem to throw me
off my guard. He never came again
until II O'Clock that night.
No need to tell me this time what that
bird was up to. l knew it. He was
going into fractions. l lay there with
the cold sweat beading my brow, and
saw him balance oil his perch and clap
first n wing and then the other, and
go from halves to fourths, fourths to
eighths, eighths to ~sixteenths, six
teenths to thirty-seconds ad innnitum.
and then, with redoubled fury, plunge
into complex fractions and decimals.
When came to l was in a long room.
with two rows of white beds. They
told me 1t was the City Hospital. 1
had become so violent 1t had been
found necessary to remove me, and for
a fortnight they had watched me night
and day. My landlady called that after
noon, and, by way of being entertain
ing, told me the clock had beer stolen.
1t seems the former occupant of my
room, now confined in the Berliner
Lunatick Anstaltgesellschaft, wrench
ed the bars from his window. one night
and escaped. Next morning they
found him back in his padded cell with
the clock, hugging 1t to his breast in
transports of joy. She said she hadn't
the heart to take it from him.
In three days l returned to my lodg-
ings, and by the end of the week was
able to take up my studies,-San Fran
cisco Chronicle.
HOW HE PASSED HIS SUMNER.