davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17
JUST FOR FUN.

It's an i'll wind that can't find any
thing to blow about.
Any woman has a perfect right to
look in a miIliner's window and wish
she had wealthy husband.
Shelf I were your wife, sir, I'd
put poison in your coffee. He-If I
were your husband, madam, I'd drink
that coffee.
Bess-What a lovely dress! And
such a perfect fit, too! Nell-Yes;
but it's nothing to the fit papa had
when he saw the bill.
Did you ever reflect on the i'm
mensity of the solar system? No.
I've got my mind full rejecting on
the size of the note I have to pay
next week.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17
DEAFNESS CANNOT BE CURED

by local applications they cannot reach
the diseased portion of the There is only
one way to cure deafness and that is by con-
stitutIona1 emedies. Deafness is caused by
OF the Eustachian Tube. When this tube is
nfamed you hav rumbling sound or imper-
feet hearing. and when it is entirely closed,
deafness is the result and unless the inf1amma-
ton can be taken out and this tube restored
to it's normal condition, hearing will be
destroyed forever; nine cases out of ten are
caused by Catarrh, which is nothing but an
infamed condition OF the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of deafness Caused by catarrh) that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send
for circulars, free.
F. j. CHENEY CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, price 75c per bottle.
Halls Family Pills the best
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17
INVOLUNTARY.

jbrrow and pity had clutched my heart, 4
Lashed its chords to their infinite chain; lF
They watched, dull eyed, as 1 sat apart, IA
A pallid fate at the gates Of pain q
Torturing thoughts from an empty past "a
Surged within, like a hurrying pack III
OF hungry wolves which before the blast 81
Fretted the SHOWS in the beaten track 4
Colder than where they gibber and glide
My future beckoned across life's way;
i turned and shivered and crept to hide
Where ruined hope on my hearthstone lay.
When, 10, presence! / saw him stand
Rosy and smiling, dimpled child,
Draw and eye me, with outstretched hand
Catch me who Will / am free and wildi"
he took my fingers the damp had chilled
To his little red mouths wooing breath;
He touched my hair that the nights had filled
With wan, wet dews of despair and death.
Round my heart he threw warm red roses,
Bound and pulled with artful grace;
Subtly sweet with imperious poses
He clasped me close in his soft embrace.
Trembling, frightened, with feet that stumbled,
''Tell me thy name, oh, thou pretty boyF'
He laughed at my voice that fear had hurnbled,
'Ho, foolish coward, my name is Joy!
Julien Gordon in Golfers Weekly.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17
A Country of Clear Water.

About one-half of southern ALASKA Is
water. The inlets and bays are SO
numerous as to be enc of the wonders
Of the world. Both the salt water and
fresh water are remarkably clear. Fish
and other marine animals Hay be seen
to the depth of 20 and 80 feet beneath
the surface of the water. There are
no sandy beaches and no tide fats.
The timber comes down the waters
edge. The waters are so cold that
fish as well as shellfsh are good
throughout the year. = Kansas City
Journal.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17

Chicago had no schools seventy
years ago. The first school in the
city's limits was built in 1881, one
woman bearing all the expense. Ten
years later there were four district
schools, each teacher receiving $500 a
year. The school appropriation for
last year in that city was So 1000, 600.
There are $50 public schoolhouses,
5000 teachers, eight high schools,
three universities, several theological
seminaries, as we'll as technical and
special schOols-EI.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17

Still, said the old friend who had
called to converse with the venerable
sage, in your advancing age it must
be a great comfort TO know your fame
is secure. Yes, replied the aged sci
enlist. am told there is a new dis
ease and a five cent cigar named for
me.
The guest at the expensive hotel had
been overcome by the ,heat and the
sight of the bill combined, and was
lying on the marble floor of the office.
Stand back, exclaimed some one, and
give him air! No! gasped the guest,
temporarily reviving Put it in the
bill. Pm willing to pay for it!
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17
Anna Somers's Will.

STATE OF VERMONT, ORLEANS DISTRICT,
- ss. In Probate Court held at Newport,
in said district, on the 5th day of Sept
A. D., 1900.
An instrument purporting to re the last will
and testament of Anna Somers, late OF
Irasburgh, in said district, deceased, being
presented to the Court by Grant G. Skinner
the Executor therein named for Probate:
It is ordered by said Court, that all persons
concerned therein be notified to appear at
session of said Court, to be held at the
Probate Office at said Newport, in said
District, on the 26th day of September, A. D..
1soo and show cause, if any they may have,
against the Probate of said Will.
For which purpose, it is further ordered,
that copy of this record of this order
be published three weeks successfully in the
Orleans County Monitor, printed at Bar
ton, Vt, previous to said time appointed for
hearing.
By the Court-Attest,
1898 FEE ALFRED, Judge.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17

The progressive natio of the world are
the great food consuming nations. Good
food well digested gives strength If YOU
cannot digest all you eat, you need Kodol
Dyspepsia Cure. 1t digests what you eat.
You need not diet yourself. 1t will even di-
gest all classes of food in abottle. No other
preparation will do this 1t instantly re-
lieves and quickly cures all stomach troub-
les.
h. Q. Pierce, Barton; r. E. French, Glover;
81. Webster, Barton Landing; @ w Russell,
Irasbnrgh.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17
CURED OF CHRONIC DIARRHOEA AFTER
THIRTY YEARS OF SUFFERING,

I suffered for thirty years with diarrhoea
and thought I was past being cured" says
John S. Holloway, of French Camp, Miss. II
had spent SO much time and money and suf-
fered SO much that had given up all hopes
of recovery. I was SO feeble from the effects
of the diaIrheea that L could do no kind of
labor, could not even travel but by accident
I was permitted to find bottle of Chamber
lain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy,
and after taking several bottles am so pleas
ed with the result that I am anxious that it
be in reach of all who suffer have For
sale by w Barron, Druggist.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17
I amt goin' to answer another

I amt goin' to answer another ad-
vertisement as long as | live, said
Uncle Ezra. just sent fifty cents to
a teller down in Connecticut that put
a piece in the paper sayi ng he had a
receipt to prevent drowning. And
didn't he have it? No! The rascal
wrote back to keep away from the
wateri
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17

Have you forgotten that x that you
borrowed of me some time ago? Oh,
no, I still have it on my mind. Well,
don't you think this would ue d good
time to relieve your mid Of il?
[ see, she said, that a couple who
were married al Philadelphia, the
other evening, received So clocks as
wedding presents. And yet, he bit
terly replied, pl bet she'll never be
on time when they expect to 20 out
anywhere.
When, shouted the orator, when
will come. that blessed day men every
man shall get all he earns? IJ'll come
about the time, fiercely back answer
ed the man in the crowd, who was
there for that purpose, it will come
when every man earns all he gets!
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17
A SHOCKING CALAMITY

"Lately befell railroad laborer,' writes
DR. Kellett of Wi11iford. Ark. His foot
was badly crushed, but Buck1en's Arnica
Salve quickly cured him. It's simply wonder
full for Burns, Boils, Piles and all skin erup-
tions. It's the worlds champion healer.
Cure guaranteed. Csc. Sold by III Pierce.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17
Farm for Sale.

Situated the river road about half way
between Barton Village and Barton La nding,
containing los acres all in a good state of
cultivation, pastures well watered, running
water at house and barn from never failing
spring, sugar place consisting of 100. trees,
buildings all in first class repair. said farm
will keep twenty cows and team. For further
particulars enquire or address the su bscriber
at Barton, VT,
If NELSON III. LYMAN
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17
LHAMBERLAIN'S COUGH REMEDY A
GREAT FAVORITE

The soothing and healing properties of this
remedy. its pleasant taste and prompt and
permanent cures have made it a great favorite
with people everywhere. 1t is especially
priced by mothers of small children for colds,
Group and whooping cough, it always
affords a quick relief, and as it contains no
opium or other harm full drug, it may be given
confidently to a baby as to an adult. For
sale by e w Barron, Druggist.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17
Merchants and Manufacturers
10th Century
Exposition,
OCT. LIST to 9th, 1900
Mechanics Building, Boston.

The exposition is open to all products
and manufactured articles known
to civilization and there is every rea-
son to expect the attendance of moro
than a half million visitors to this
magnificent exhibition during it's four
weeks run in October.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17

Don't you dare kiss me, she cried
warningly. Why, WASH thinking of
such thing, he said. Well, was, she
replied firmly.
You say he is an able speaker? Oh,
yes. He talked for three hours and
was able to walk out of the hall I'M
assisted in spite of the thing that
were thrown at him.
Mrs. Chatter-Do you believe all
the disagreeable things you read in
the papers about people? Mrs. Tat
tle-Oh, dear, no-only when they
are about people know.
Husbano-Didn't you tell that cook
I wanted my breakfast right on the
minute? Wife, did. And what did
she say? She said we all have our
disappointments.
Lady-Didn't I tell you never to
come here again! Tramp hope
you will pardon me, madam, but this
is the only place | can get pie like
mother used to make.
Do you think, professor, said a
unsteady ambitious youth, that l can
do anything with my voice? Well,
was the cautious reply, it may come
in handy to boiler in case Of fire.
Miss A-When I am asked to sing, [
don't say, No, I can't sing, nor wait
to be coaxed, but sit right down at
the piano and-Miss B-Leave the
company to find it out for themselves.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17

Large spots, astronomers say, caused
the extreme heat this summer, and doctors
declare nearly all the prostrations were in
duced by disorders of the stomach. Good
health follows good digestion. Kodol Dys-
pepsia Cure digests what :. GU eat. If you
have Indigestion or dyspepsia it will quickly
relieve and permanently cure you.
H. C. Pierce, Barton; R. E. French, Glover;
H. S. Webster, Barton Landing; CIV. Russell,
Irasburgh
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17
For Sale.

One two horse thrashing and saving ma
chine. This machine is of the ST. Adams
make and all in good repair. Will sell the
separator by itself if purchaser desires. Will
be sold cheap to Close estate.
Fl. F. BLACK, Administrator,
If East Coventry, VT.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1900-09-17

Joe Bartlett had just left the office
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05

who built up the Basuto kingdom out
of the fugitive clans that were driven
southwark in the first decade Of the
present century,
The English had a clash with the
Basutos in 1s4s aftera victory over the
Beers. The Basutos were severely de-
feated in the opening campaign, and
before a larger reinforcement Of Eng-
fish could be dispatched to the scene
Moshesh prudently sued for terms of
peace. This willy move saved the Basu-
tos from an discriminating war with
the English and made the two nations
live p~eaceably together for upward of
half a century. The English, in fact,
became their protectors and advisers.
When the war between theBasutos and
the Beers of the Orange Free State
broke out, ten years later; the para.
mount chief, Moshesh, appealed to the
governor of Cape Colony, who inter
fered and settled the disputed boun-
dairy question. This was repeated again
in 1865, when the Beers made a SUI
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05
an 1nE RlRLLe LLaEAnE-



In the public library of : large city
there Is much amusement and rs fotfas
ton to be gleaned that Is not coufaed
STRICTLY % the muIGstadinous Volume
on the shelves. The paiient ana csdr
teous Librarians ana attendants are
supposed to be walking encyclopaedia
Of knowledge, and the questions askea
them range Overt apparently every sab-
1ect OF Information Of any possible ina
terest TO the hUgaan race. The oue
uons are often amusing and sometimes
have a touch Of pathos as they give q
glimpse Of some little heazt history.
~ n of the city lihraries char
acter became wei known to- theattenda
ants by his faithful appearance every
Saturday evening and his diHdent re-
quest for How He Won Her. When
told IL was not ia he would decline any
thing else and disappear, only ia return
the next saturday night with the same
patient query. He finally got the book,
and after reading and returning t left
to return no more, with The mystery
unsolved as 20 the extent OF fta aid fo
him in his supposed uncertain wooinr.
Sometimes the tables ere Turned and
the joke is upon the attendant. especial
~ when the latter is a novice. Onesuah
vas handed a slip upon which q gen-
tleman had written his request for a
book called What's Your Nameq" The
young Lady glanced at the slip, drew
herself up haughtily and withered the
unfortunate man with a stare as she
remarked: II do not e how that
possibly can be Of any interest to you,
sir!"
Another gentleman leaned over q
young woman busy at a large slip case
and said; Il beg your pardon. but
have you ElboW RoomG'"
PLENTY, thank you'll" replied the
young lady, and went smilingly on with
her work, while the anxious inquirer
for "EIbow Room" gazed in -speechIess
bewilderment at the back Of her fluffy
head.
Postal cards are often received with
elaborate requests to "kindly renew my
book" the sender betraying touching
confidence in the ability Of the library
people, as book title and signature are
in many cases conspicuous by their alb
sence.
The advent Of Young America is often
the signal for something interesting.
He came in one day and modestly nm
nounced: 'Please, ma'am, I want the
Pablic library He went of quite hap
py, however, with something less than
the entire library. Two bright eyes
over the edge of the desk belonged to
a small boy whose father wanted two
yowels." He was given two volumes
and went off quite satisfied that he
had done the proper caper. Abig, hon
~estlooking specimen asked slyly for
something by You-da." He got
"Bebee; or, Two Little Wooden Shoes,
and tiptoed carefully out. A lady who
liked to show her superior culture
asked softly for adam Be-day," and
sailed out with a frou-frou of sink and
adam Bede" on her arm, while the
attendant looked thoughtful.
One lady had hunted the catalogue
for a book she wanted and couldn't
find it, and she had forgotten the name
and could not remember the author,
but o the other began withC."
And she sweetly gazed at the attend
ant for nspiration-Chicago Chronicle.
#
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05
OF THE STONE AGE
Pataeoniana Who Are Living Repre-
sentntives OF q Race Of Ans
Client Date.

The GuayaIis of Patagonia are ex-
tremely shy, taking to fight on being
seen, while the thickness of the forests
in which they dwell, and their extraor-
binary physical activity, eHectually
prevent their being followed. Herr
Schultz was only once fortunate
enough to obtain sight of an individ-
ual of the tribe-dark in color and
completely naked-who gKded down
from a tree and vanished in the depths
of the forest in an instant. He learned.
however, from an old inhabitant OF
Carayao that a Guayaki man was once
captured by means OF the boleaderas
and brought to Asuncion, but of his
subsequent fate no information could
be obtained. The tribe is greatly hated
by the settlers on account Of the dep
redatiOnscommitted by ib on the young
cattle and horses, and for this reason
a merciless war is waged upon them
whenever possible. In 1888 a settler
came upon a Guayah woman and two
children III the forest and captured
one of the latter, after wOunding the
mother. Photographs of the child were
obtained by DR.. Endlich, Of Leipsic.
The body is well nourighed and in good
proportion, the head large and tho
forehead,weH developed. A few Quay
ah words were noted by DR.. Endlich.
but, while confirming to some extent
previous information on the subject,
are not sufficient to allow definite con-
illusions to be based upon them. The
Guayakis are of special interest as
living representative Of the stone age,
making use Of a stone ak for obtaining
honey from trees. They live solely on
this and the produce Of the chase
Geographical Journal.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05
USE OF THE BAYoNET.
when the Charge Comes 1t brings
Terror to the Hearts OF the
Beaten Foe.

The fire of the defense becomes more
destructive every moment, while that
of the a~ssailants is shaken by their
losses, but at last a sufficiently thick
firing line of the latter get within
point-blank of the defenders, and the
latter see many more soldiers crowd
ing up behind. The defenders do not
feel themselves beaten, but they know
that their assailants' fire is againgrow-
ing equal, and more than equal, to their
own Suddenly the enemy fixes bay
onets and his bugles sound the charge;
the defenders have stood still beneath
his fire all day, they have seen their
comrades scattered on all sides by the
deadly but invisible tap Of the rife bull
let, they have been strengthened by
the merry riot Of their W guns
aginst the appalling blast Of the shrap-
mel, but now the enemy has ceased his
noise. he is a great bully; they were
not afraid of his muskets and guns,
they have not so far shrunk from
him, but now he is coming to knife
them where they stand. They are but
stricken game awaiting the coup de
grace, a few among the defenders
viii not finch even now; they, too. fix
sheir bayonets prepared with the bite
ter heroism Of the lost to fight it out.
But most men fear certain death worse
than questionable dishonor, their
nerves crack, and they fly. The fight
Is over, and the bayonet, if it has not
drunk a drop 81 blood, has not the
less directly ended it.-"How Soldiers
Fight"
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05

Swallows migrate to Central Amer.
lea and the southern part of Mexico.
They like it pretty warm. Early in
March they begin to appear in the
southern states, but they seldom get
far north until the latter part Oh
April The robins don't care for such
a a climate. and very few Of them
get as far south as Mexico.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05
49, TREE Ia rHE woRLD
Called the HuFricane Tree in the
Capital OF the anhamn
InIanda.

In Nassau. the capital city Of the
Bahama islands. they say 'the tree III
the public square-not the trees.
Now, the public square Of Nassau Is
quite as large as that of most cities OF
the size, but there is only one tree in
it, and that tree literally fills the
square and spreads its shade over all
the public buildings in the neighbor-
hood. For it is the largest tree in the
world at its base, although it is hardly
taller than a ~three-stoFy house. 1t is
yariously known as a ceiba, or a silk
cotton tree, but the people Of the low
islands of the West Indies call it the
hurricane tree. For no matter how
hard the wind blows il cannot disturb
the mighty b~uttressed trunk of the
ceiba. In the hurricane Of last spring
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05

south African nnautOs Have Adopted
Civilised Customs and
Manners,

The South African Basutos would be
s difficult nation to suppress and
bring under control again if once
armed, says Golfers Weekly. They
are a warlike and superior Kahr tribe,
numbering over 100000, and have
adopted more of the civilized manners
and ways of the white settlers than
any other of the South African natives.
Fully $4,000 of them are said to be adj
herents of the different Christian mis-
sionaries who have Iabored among
them. They have never been disarmed,
and in an emergency they would prove
a formidable foe in the field. The par
amount chief to-day is Lerthodi a man
Of great force and emergency, and
highly civilized. He is the direct sue
cessor of Moshesh, the famous chief
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05

all the palms and many of the other
trees of Nassau were overturned, but
the great hurricane tree, although it
lost all its leaves, did not lose so much
aS a branch. It's trunk throws out
great curving, wing-like branches.
some of them 20 feet wide and nearly
as high. These extend into the ground
on all sides and brace the tree against
all attack, while the great branches
spread a thick shade overhead. In the
tropic sunshine of midsummer, hun.
dreds, even thousands, of people may
gather in the cool of it's shadow. Ne
n knows how old the great tree is,
but it must have been growing hun
dreds, if not thousands, of years. A
very old picture in the library at Mas.
sau shows the tree as big as it is at
present, and even the oldest negro in
the island cannot remember when it
was a bit smaller.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05

go round, and every girl usually Is
lucky enough to come off with more.
than n proposal. Women school
teachers especially are fortunate.
They teach One term-rarely more.
Before the end of it some rich young
bachelor among the Beers has pro-
posed and been accepted, for their
admiration for the woman gifted Ia
arn money with her brains is un
bounded.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05

"You + my ideal" he said earnest
ay; ''the only girl ever loved, the only
girl 1 ever could love. No other could
possibly fill the void in my heart"
Sand if you never had met me,
George" she asked, anxiously, would
you eve have cared for any girl at
an?"-Chicago Post.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05

The Boer youth WEEDS extremely
young. His education is over and he
is considered a man OF business when
he is 16. His bride does mot come to.
him ~portionless, but usually with a
dowry consisting Of COWS, goats and
sheep, a span Of oxen and a quiet riding
horse. To each child that Is born a
well-to-do Boer likes to assign certain.
farm stock as a NEST egg for a future
dowry Or as a start in hfe.-N. Y. Her
aid
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05
Of Not

Pearl-So your friend is from Key
West?
Ruby-Yes, and he must be wealthy.
Pearl-Why, dear?
Ruby-Because he told me when
home he was not accustomed to bathe
in anything but Florida water.-N. Y.
World.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05

preme effort to a~nnihiIate the Basutos,
whom they accused of stealing their
cattle. This time the English declared
the Basutos English subjects, and the
Free State had to settle the matter
NTH the British high commissioner.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05

Fear of certain things in boys in
creases from the seventh to the
fifteenth year, and then declines, while
in girls it increases more steadily from
the fourth to the eighteenth year be-
fore diminishing. The fear of thunder
and lightning, reptiles, robbers and
machinery were found to increase
with age.-Cleveland Ledger,
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05
PRrudOxiCaI.

Our language is funny at times, you must
own,
For the girl who will never say yea
When a fellow proposes can never be
known
AS Mrs. Yermillion, nay Gray"
Philadelphia Press.