Evening star., 1900-08-18
VIEWS ON MANS COMFORT

Some rainy afternoon, said the CHEEKY
matron, with the shrewd eyss-whose hus-
band. by the way. plainly indicates by his
manner toward her that he really believes
her to be the one and only woman on the
globe-'Fm going to sit down and write
little treatise How to Make q Man
Comfortable at Home for private circu-
lation. You comprehend the meaning of
that admirably expressive word knock that
the men use. do you not? Well, this little
treatise OF mine will be a knock 1t will
purposely. and with malice aforethought,
knock the large number Of married wo-
men. young and elderly, of my acquaintance
who, by demanding strict adherence to
household rules and regulations Of their
own deyising as we'll as strict compliance
with the vast number of traditional house
hold rules and regulations, succeed in
making their husbands miserable at home.
l have been led into this channel Of thought
by reading and hearing of the protests
which so many wrong and nsrrowminded
women are making against the coatless
man. The woman who protests against the
coatless man is the woman who hgurative-
ly speaking. compels her unfortunate hus-
band to go through the perpetual gyrations
and convoluuons of an egg-dance at home
who causes her husbands mind to revert re-
gretfully to the days Of his bachelorhood,
and who. in the long run. is pretty liable to
receive a declaration of independence at his
hands that will make her head spin.
I'm dealing with a male creature Of the
human species you have got to take care
full note of this fact: A male creature of
the human species never grows up, so to
speak. He's always more or less of a boy.
1t doesn't make any difference how brainy
men are. or how dignified. or how naughty,
most men remain. 50 far as their household
conduct Is concerned, boys as long as they
live; the right kind of men do, anyhow
You can't require a leopard to change his
spots, and you can't train a male person
into absolutely correct household deport-
ment, according to your idea Of it-that
Is. II hes any sort Of a male person at all.
My idea Of 1t is that a husband ought to
be allowed to do as he pleases in and
around his own home. If he wants to
| smoke g. cigar-or a Guilty pipe. for that
matter-in the parlor. let him. Don't ding
at him and harp on him for doing it, The
smoke will get into the curtains, Of course,
but what OF that? Let the smoke get into
the curtains. II you have on your list of
friends any persons who object to the
aroma Of tobacco in the curtains, permit
| them to eliminate themselves from your list
OF friends. II they elect to: your husband
Is, or ought to be, No. i. l know any num-
| Der Of women who drive their husbands
| way UP to the attics Of their homes to
smoke, or make them enjoy their tobacco
! in the back yard or on the front steps.
| have as little respect for man who per-
mits woman to treat him in this way as
l have for the woman who 30 treats him.
I'm glad to have my husband smoking
around the house not that 1 particularly
like the smell Of tobacco smoke, but he
looks comfortable and contended when he's
| smoking around the house, and 1t keeps
him with me and I like to have him with
| me: he's the best pal in the world.
III your husband Is built that way and
likes to have something to drink kept
around the house. let him have it. II you
don't, he'll get 1t anyway. He'll go out
after it, and he'll probably drink a great
deal more when he goes out than he would
| think of drinking a home
| III he forgets to wipe his feet on the mat
when he comes in on a wet day. don't fly
| in his face over it. He'll notice the tracks
| he has left himself, and may say he's sorry
| his forgetfulness, he's pretty liable to get
| a bit ugly and to ask you whose carpets
| they are that he's Uttered up, or he'll say
| nothing, but nourish an abused feeling in
side of him.
IT he wants to jam all Of the incest
| couch pillows up under his head while he
reads the paper-and there never yet was
a man mat didn't do that-let him. That's
what couch pillows are for. when you come
| to think about it. II he crumples 'em and
muses. EN- up 80 that they look unsightly
after awhile. then get more couch pillows
| to replace them.
IF on Tuesday morning your husband ex-
| presses desire for roast beef for dinner
tuesday being your regular roast lamb
day-let him have the beef. Don't force
him to stick to your food schedule il he
doesn't want to. Otherwise he Is liable to
| doesn't want to.
"If. once in a while. your husband comes
home at midnight. just a trife enthusiastic,
and narrates to you, with a bland counte-
nance the old story Of having been com
| PEELED to remain late at the office to go
over his books. make believe that you be-
lieve him. You won't gain anything by
| telling him that you don't believe him, for,
next to being ridiculed. man hates to be
caught In fb. If you pretend to believe
| him. he's more than liable to tell you the
| next morning that he really out with
| the fellows and to feel ashamed Of him.
self for having tried to give you a cock
and-bull story.
III your husband, in wandering and
| fdgeting around the house. happens to sit
| down on all of the best chairs in the parlor
| let him. In nine cases out of ten the chairs
are really his you know. and he's entitled
| to the use OF his own property. I know
| some women who emit veritable screams Of
annoyance when their husbands happen to
| forget the rules and regulations with re-
| gard to the front room fUrn't.re. and in
| advertently sit down on the best chairs, and
| the poor men-jelly fish personcges that
they are-hop up as If they had sat down on
| pins
IF. in hot weather. he fails to under
stand why you close all OF the blinds Of q
room in order to render the room cool
| and there never was a man in this world
that could understand why this is. done
and throws the blinds open. thus admitting
| the hot air from the street, let him do 1t.
| you employing the best means to cool
| off the room, what's the use in trying !?
| Moreover. who pays the rent or the taxes?
| 'If he prefers the light of the bed room
to the bath room for shaving, let him shave
! in the bed ROOM Let him shave before the
| mantel glass in the parlor. If he wants to.
Let him shave with his glass braced up
against the music-holder on the piano If
he wants to- It's his piano. and his glass,
and his beard. and his razor.
"If your husband gets hungry before go
| ing to bed, and wants to hack at the cold
| roast and go through the refrigerator in
general in the usual refrigerator-devastating
| way of men, just let him do it. You've
no right to let him go to bed hungry, If
the man wants to eat. In fact, 1t wouldn't
| hurt you any to relieve him Of the neces.
sity of saving the cold roast into frag-
ments by preparing him a nocturnal lunch
con yourself.
"If he keeps his paper currency and his
silver change scattered all over his pockets
mixed in with his matches, don't try to
force him to carry q wallet, and a change
purse, and a match box. II he has never
packed those things around with him be-
fore you got him he never win and it'll
only sour him to try to teach him new
tricks.
IF, with the usual ciumsiness of the