davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
Odd Things in Spirit Work.

"T don't believe in fortuue telling
and don't believe in ghosts said a
little woman on the South Side, "but
the other day went with some friends
TO fortune teller's."
''Of course remarked her husband,
dryly, ''the people who patrcnize for
tune-telIers are always skeptieal."
al suppose you mean something by
that, but don't make out what it is"
answered his wife serenely. "Any
way, the fartuDe-telier went into a
trance. why, what queer family you
belong to- she said. You're all mix
ed up and / think there must be four
sets Of children in your fathers fam
iIy' Now, that is exactly true. My
mother was widow and she had
some children when she married my
father, who had been married twice
before and had two sets Of children. /
belong to the fourth set. Then the for
tune-telIer told me the street and the
street number of my house, the exact
date of my birth and the date Of my
marriage. Now, what do you think Of
that? ~
Il think il's case for the Psyehical
Research Society,"" said her husband
promptly. 81 can't explain it any
more than can explain a queer hap
pening at a spiritual meeting went to
once over on Forest avenue. There
was a lot of long-haired members of
the cult gathered in hall and alleged
spirits were knocking on the walls
and giving more or less suspicious
communications Il ;he medium. So
far as knew none of the crowd had
heard my name, had never seen any
of them, and they certainly knew
nothing of my family. Well, present
ly the medium remarked, There is
spirit here by the name Of Janet War
ren. She has relative in the hail.
Speak out, please Nobody answered.
Janet Warren, who has been in
the spirit world many years, has r, /
ative in the back part of the room, in
the left-hand corner. Please speak
out, whoever it is, called the the me-
dunn again.
'As before, no one responded. /
kept as quiet as the rest. The fact is,
though, that had an aunt whose
name was Janet Warren, who died
many years ago when / was a mere
child. 1 call that queer, now, but /
don't believe in ghosts" - Chicago
Inter-Ocean.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
What's S in a Name.

We telephoned to the intelligence
office for a cook. As Annie was the
only name given on her card from the
Office, We inquired her surname.
annie" L said, "what is the rest OF
your name"
THAT is it," was the reply.
"Yes," continued, al know your
name is Annie, but Annie what?"
THAT is it, ] tell you, missus," she
said with broad smile.
"You have two names SURELY" 1 in
sisted, "a first name and a second
name. Now, what is your second
name ?p
''Oh, missus," she exclaimed with
some impatienee, 81 tell you that is it. &"
With rising displeasure, thinking
she was trifiing, said very decidedly,
"Your name is Annie what?
''Oh," she cried enthusiastically, 81
am so glad you knowl L think you
will never know. Yes, that is il ~
For while l sat in silent despair,
the girl eyeing me with rueful eoun-
tenance. Finally a happy thought
struck me.
"Annie," asked very mildly, "what
is your fathers name ?"
Michael" was the doleful reply.
"Michael what? ?" I almost gasped,
feeling that was suddenly becoming
parrot.
But, like the eternal "Nevermore'
of POe's Raven came the echo,
"Thst is II p
A sudden Intimidation Perhaps
mine is the dull brain.
"Whst do you put on your fathers
letters ?'' next interrogated.
"That is what 1 must put on or be
would not get them," was the sobbing
response.
Unwilling TO give up after such 6
trial of patience on both sides, 1 asked
gently, "How do you spell it?"
Slowly came the solution of the enig-
ml-"W-a-c-h-t''-Lippincott's.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
An Exeuse That Failed.

The making of an apology when one
has been in the wrong is not an agree
able thing. A gentleman was to make
ore to woman friend, and in order
To render the job as light as possible
she directed the very, very Irish ser
want as follows:
Now, if anyone comes, Kate, say l
am not at home, and then ask the
name if it is Blank you must invite
him in, for am expecting him, but if
it is anyone else excuse me-"
That night the bell rang and the
hostess leaned over the bannisters to
hear the cOnfab. It was not Mr..
Blank, for she recognized the voice.
as Miss B. in ?'' asked the caller.
"Yes, sOrr; she's in" said the Irish
lady, and the gentleman started TO
take off his hat. Excuse me, sOrT,n y
said the girl, "but you must'gO away"
He wasn't Mr.. Blank and he went
away in a gale, and the lady has never
been able 10 set the matter straight
since. As for the Irish lady, she has
departed. She was too much of q
comedy of errors to have for keeps
Louisville Times.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

But Luther did not notice. He was
standing at the window staring out.
"'That is best which lieth nearest y
ha said, soiemnly. "What a fool I've
been"
He found his hat and left the house,
almost running across the road, aud
took the iron rake away from Letitla,
very gently.
That's too hard work for a little
thing like you," he said.
Letitia's blue eyes were full of won
der, but she yielded the rake meekly.
"You'd better go into the house, too, I"
said Luther. "Itis cold out here"
No one had been thoughtful of her
before for a long time, and LAtitia
couldn't understand it.
When Luther returned the rake she
asked him to let her do something for
him.
He carried her his best pair of socks
She was Mortified at their condition,
and mended them in a very artistic
manner.
Luther looked at them in wonder
and reverence.
"rll never wear 'em," he said, when
he was at home again. II wouldn't
have let her doit, only knew it would
make her feel better, and it gave me a
chance to see her, too"
He found that it was an easy matter
to invent excuses for seeing her, and
finally, some time in the winter, he
asked her with fear and trembling, if
she would be Mrs. Luther Wilkins.
At first she thought it would not be
right to abandon her brothers. chill
dren, btu her scruples melted away be-
fore the warmth of his eloquenee. Then
she confessed that she was tired.
at is so long that have had to take
care of other folks, and it will seem
like heaven to have some one to take
care Of me-" she said.
So it happened that in little less
than year the letter to Mrs. l. uther
Wilkins was given to its rightful own
er. circumstances over which 1 had
no control have prevented you from
getting it before" Luther said.
"Why, it's nothing but an advertise
ment of some new preparation of cere-
ais" she said, when she opened it.
Luther looked blank.
81 see how it is" she said, after mo-
ment's thought. ''They sent to the
grocer for lists of their customers, and
then sent these circulars to their wives"
Let us keep it, said Lother, softly.
Gift hadn't been for that
"Yes; we'll keep it," said Letitia,
blushing.-Boston Globe.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
Was a Competent Witness.

United States District Judge VIII
liams, now holding court in Topeka,
tells funny story.
Years ago he was district judge i'm
Arkansas. At certain term of coGrr
murder trial came before him, and
the most important witness for the
prosecution was colored boy only ten
years old.
The lawyers for the defense set out
to show that the boy was too young to
understand the nature Of an oath, ana
therefore was not competent as wit
ness.
"Boy," said one of them severely,
"do You know what would happen il
you swCre to lie?'
ayes, sab. Nanny would lick me. +"
"Wouid anything else happen ?''
"Deed dey would, case the debil
would git me-"
At this point Judge Williams leaned
over his desk and said with pretended
sternness:
Don't you know, boy, that would
get you, too ?'
ayes, sab; dat's what JUS said. -
Kansas City Journal.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
sETTIE' HEN.

When a hen Is bound TO set,
Seems as though 'tain't etiket
Dowsin' her In water till
She's connected with chill.
Seems as though twas skursely right
Givin' her dreadful fright.
Tyin' rags around her tail,
Poundin' on an old tin pail,
Chasin' her around the yard,
Seems as though twas kind Of hard
Bein' kicked and slammed and shooed
|'Csuse she wants to raise a brood.
l sh'd say it's gettin' gay
Jest cause natur' wants its way.
While ago my neighbor, Penn,
Started burstin' up hen.
Went TO yank her of the nest,
Hen. though, made peck, and Jest
Grabbed his thumbnsil good and stout,
Like to yank the darn thing out.
Penn he twitched away and then
Tried again TO grab that hen.
But, by ginger, she had spunk.
Cause she took and nipped junk
Big's bean right out his palm,
Swallersd il. and cool and calm
Hfsted up and yelled ''Cah-dah -
Sounded like she said "Hoo-rahr'
Wal, sir, when that hen does that,
Penn he bowed, took of his hat,
Spunk jest suits him, you can bet.
''Set," says be. ''gol darn ye, SET"
-Lewistown Journal
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
Paid the Bet with His Life.

GRERxsBURs. April "a foolish De'
broueht awful death, injury and des'rue-
ton to gathering Of Austrian miners At
Iarimer station late last night. "eofs7
Stonecowich made wager OF . cents
with John Mickoliek, boarding house
kseper with whom he was stopping tnN'
blasting powder could not be ignited oy
a match.
The host, believing that ii was good
het accepted the wager, and when the
experiment was made moment iaeer
TWO kegs of blasting powder were expio'
ded. Stonecowich poured large qusn
titv of the powder from keg on the noor
of the room where the party Of hall
dozen Austrians sat.
The match was applied. A terrific ex-
nIosion occurred and the six occupants
Of the room, and three persons IN a room room
above. we're hurled iuto the street. Inc
house was completely shattered ana
Stonecowieh was killed.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
Hard-wOrkins Hen.

If the story which Mrs. Bernard Nc
Nally, Of East Greenwich, told in
Batehelder & Heydon's grocery at
Crornpton yesterday be true, and no
one in that vicinity where she is known
as a truthful, Christian woman has
ever had occasion to doubt her veraci-
ty, she has hen which was never out
done Gs an egg-lsyer, save by the fa-
nous goose that laid the golden ones:
Mrs. McNaily drove down to Cromp-
ton from the farm yesterday and told
the extraordinary story which is
vouched for by her husband, her
daughter and neighbOr who had been
called in to look at the wonderful hen.
II had been suspected that the latter
was laying away from her nest. She
was accordingly shut up in special
coop into which a mouse couldn't
crawl.
The first day she was thus imprisOu-
ed she laid two eggs, the next four, on
each of the succeeding three days six,
then five, and on the seventh day four,
and on the eighth day an extremely
small one. 1t was supposed that she
had ceased her OverexertiOns for time,
but on Saturday she continued by lay
ing an ordinary egg and followed with
three more on Sunday. Before Mrs.
MeNally left home Monday there were
two eggs in the coop, but the full rec
ord of the day was incomplete.
The work of this American, this
Pawtueket Valley hen, a mixture Of
the Leghorn and Plymouth Rock, 80
eggs in II days, and all, with one ex-
eeplion, Of full size and perfect in
every way, beats all known records.
Skeptics at Clyde, where hens are
alleged to have laid rd-boiled eggs /;
Riverside, Attleboro and other places,
where extraordinary hen exploits have
been chronicled, will perhaps sneer at
this story Of an East Greenwich bird,
but il was related by an unsophisticat-
ed farmers wife to a state senator, Col.
Henry d. Heydon, of Warwick, and
by the latter to a Bulletin man, and if
anyone doubts the story the hen may
be found, still at work, adding rapidly
to the nations most valuable product,
in her isolated coop, about four miles
southeast of CromptOn village.-Provi-
dence Journal.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
Somewhat Mixed.

A gentleman from neighboring
town in Mississippi told the following,
recently:
al walked into small store the
other day and found the proprietor ly-
ing on the counter just dOzing of into
a sleep. He reused himself on my ap-
proach, and, jumping to the floor,
quoted the familiar line:
"'A horseI A horse, Ny kingdom for
q horsep
"Where did you get that?" asked.
"'Oh, don't you know? That's what
Absalom said when his horse ran under
the tree and left him hanging by the
hair to "a limb. thought everybody
knew where that eatne from D-Mem-
phis Seimitar.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
An Epidemic of whoOping Cough

Last winter during an epidemic Of
whooping cough my ch ildren contract
ed the disease, having severe coughing
spells. We had used Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy very successfully for
Group and naturally turned to it at
that time and found it relieved the
cough and effected a complete cure
JOHN f. CLIFFORD, Proprietor Nor
wood House, Norwood, n. Y. This
remedy is for sale by all druggists
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

The compensation to be paiS to census
a,,u,ar.tors is fixed by section Il OF the
ACT Of March 3, 1899. and minimum rate
~ two cents for each living inhaeitant'
two cents for each death, fifteen cents ior
a..h farm. and twenty cents for eacn
sstablishment OF productive industry i
nroSided for all subdivisions wnere sue"
aliovance shall be deemed sufficient IA
other sub divisions where higher per
caDita rates are to he paid, secordihg %
the dificulty OF enumeration. the MINT
,,,,,r, rate will not exceed three cents lor
- living iuhabitant. three cents ior
oa,h dsatb twenty cents for each iarn'
.,,5 ,bir,v cents for .eh establishments
~ productive industry, while III SUI
5ivislons where per diem rates afs e.
tab,isbed. having reference 10 the nsture
,s,,;o,, 10 be canvassed and the
da,sitv or spsrseness of settlement or
cher considerations pertinent thereto
re eonoensasiou allowed to enumera-
tors will not be less than - nor n'oie
than SIS per day of ten hours ac'nSi Heiu
MI Zach Except in extreme cases. no
claim for mileage or travelling expense
will be allowed to any enumerator' az"
then only when authority has been pre-
viously granted by the director "' 'ne
census. ...s
Anv enumerator who, without JUSTIN
able cause. neglects or refuses TO perform
the duties Of his position, after seee p'iis
an appointrnent and qualifying for the
,vorl. or who communicates TO any per
-, not authorized to receive the same
any information gained by hun IN 'as
narformance of his duties, will be snVJ'e'
10 a fine Of $500.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

Iconsider it not only pleasure but
duty owe to my neighbors to tell
about the wonderful cure effected in
my case by the timely use Of Chamber
lain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy. was taken very badly with
1ux and procured q bottle of this
remedy. A few doses of il effected a
permanent cure. 1 take pleasure in
recommending it to Others suffering
from that dreadful disease. w.
LYNCH, DOrr, w. Va This remedy
is sold by all druggists.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
Explained.

Hicks-How did you ever come to
marry her?
Wieks-Ou account of her name, I
presume. He's proof reader, you
know.
Hicks-well, what's that got TO do
with it?
Wicks-Why, her name was Miss
Prince.7S0merville Journal.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
A Smooth Citizen.

"What kind Of man is he?''
"Oh, he's the kind that arouses your
sympathy"
sympathy? ?"
ayes; you have to feel sorry for other
men who go into business with him."
indianapolis Journal
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

AT an auction sale Ia Boston the
other day a 5O-foOt tug boat vas dis
posed Of for the comparatively insigni-
ficant sum Of $40. The vesselwas the
John G. Cottidgham, and was built
in In 1s72- The former owner
had spent nearly $1,000 in repairing
the tug within the past year, and ths
purchaser undoubtedly had the best Of
the transaction.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
Experience is the Best Teacher

We must be willing to learn from the
experience Of other people. Every
testimonial in favor Of Hoods Sarss-
parills is the voice ofexperience to you,
and it is your duty, if your blood is inn
pure and your health falling, to take
this medicine. You have every reason
to expect that it will do for you what
it has done for others. 1t is the best
medicine money can buy.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

Viennese telephone girls are requir-
ed to change their clothing and were q
uniform when on duty in order that
the dust which they bring in with
them from the streets may not injme
the instruments.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

There is one church for every SS7
people in the United States. Boston
has one for every 1900 Of her popula-
ton and Minneapolis one for every
1854. Twenty-four million people at=
tend church in the United States every
Sunday,
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

Representative Allen declares that
Mississippi has made greater progress
in the last ten years than any other
State, and that, though the people are
not rich, they are better OFF than at any
time since the war.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

At Queen Vietoria's table an odd
custom, which originated in the time Of
George III, is preserved. As each dish
is placed upon the table, the name Of
the cook who prepared it is announced.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

"I do not believe that 1 would be
alive to-day if had not used Wheeler's
Nerve Vitalizer." said Wm- r. Alt
house, Thomas. Mich His trouble
was nervous prostration of the most
severe type. For sale at darnan's
Drug Store, Berlin, Pa, and Noun
tain & Sons Drug Store, Confluence,
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
The Weight of Precedent.

There is story reported as having
been told by Col. Fred n. Dow, OF
Portland, Me-, which shows well how
customary usage ''broadens down from
precedent to precedent" And no less
plainly does it show the weight of the
exceptional precedent.
Colonel Dow once visited friends at
Queeec, and while seeing the sights Of
the city aud its Surroundings he took a
public carriage to visit the falls OF
MontmOreney. At halfway house
on the road the driver pulled up his
horse aud remarked: "The carriage
always stops here"
"For what purpOse?" asked the
colonel.
"For the passengers to treat" was
the reply.
"But none of US drink, and we do
not intend to treat"
The driver had dismounted and was
waiting by the roadside. Drawing
himself up to his full height be said,
jimpressively:
"I have driven this carriage now
more than thirty years, and this has
happened but once before. Some years
ago I had for fare crank from Port
land, Me-, by the name of Neal Dow,
who said he wouldn't drink; and, what
was more to tire point, he said be
wouldn't pay for anybody else to
drink
The son found himself occupying the
same ground as that on which his
father had stood. Youths Companion.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

An orange hit in the exact centre
by rifle ball will vanish at once from
sight, scattered into infinitesimal pieces.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

Two million Americans suffer the
torturing pangs Of dyspepsia. No need
to. Burdock Blood Bitters cures. At
any drug store.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

Impossible to foresee an accident
Not impossible to be prepared for il.
DIR. Thomas Eclectric Oil-MOnareh
over pain.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
A. 70 nnti.. Of cans,.hls.-

The average constable in Pennsylvania
has an idea that his responsibility ends
when he serves warrants or subpoenss
and draws the regulation fee as compen-
satiOn. Many OF The Common Pleas
Judges have striven 70 impress upon the
minds OF the constabulary that reporting
the illegal sale OF liquor was also part
OF their duty. but rarely Is constable
found who has been able 70 discern any
such violations Of law Ja 'ge Stewart.
OF Franklin county, has Oeen arging
those minor officials 70 fnlhll other obli-
CATIONS that the legislature imposed upon
them in their functions as fire, gkme and
fsh wardens. The Judge laid particular
stress upon that clause Of the legislative
act that imposes penalties upon the con-
stables for failure TO guard the fish. game
aud forest interests. The court referred
To the fish law especially as wise one'
The finuv tribes have come TO be very
;rnportant part Of our food product, and
IL WAS therefore wise for tho legislature
10 throw all safeguards about proper
treatment Of them. There is not cheap
or article Of food anywhere than nsn-
They feed themselves. The Common
wealth has gone TO great expense IN Stock
ing the streams OF the State. and the aet
p,otectlug them was one not IN accord
with a common notion that the iegisia-
ton was solely for the interest OF nsner-
men and sportsmen, but for the gooo OF
the whole people Of the State. Consea-
bles are fairly compensated for arresting
persons caught violating the provisions
Of the act, and he officers have power 70
make such arrests without warrant
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

Some Of the mountains in the Orange
Free State rise to an altitude of over
10 600 feet.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
Horse Needed Shoes Got En-.

A Clinton, Ia, drayman tried to
drive an unshod horse across the Miss
issippi river to Fulton. The ice was 81
smooth that the horse could scarcely
walk, and finally gave up in disgust
the attempt to drag the heavy load to
the Illinoisstere. 1t stood still for a
moment, as though lost in deep
thought, then, in spite of the driver,
turned and started for terra firma.
The drayman tugged at the lines and
shouted "Whoa % to no avail. That
horse had "hOrse sense" and was will
ing to prove it. Straight down Second
street il went; then turned off at a
side street, and after going a few
blocks, walked through two wide-open
doors into blacksmith shop and
placed one of its feet upon the foot
stool ana looked knowingly at the
bIaeks1ith. He took the hint, drop
ped his corncob pipe, and went to
work with will and soOp had four
brand new shoes on the animal.
After the hoofs had all been smooth
ed off, the blacksmith had said: IDOL
lar'n twenty cents, please" the horse
willingly drew its load to the Fulton
side cf the riyer.-Chicago Inter-Ocean.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
w. h. S. KIMMELL,

-saasrs his professional services 10 the citi
- u Somerset ana vicinity. Unless pro
o1s.iy eugSEeu he can De IOund ~ lis OF
j W Main 81. East Of Diamond.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

L. COFFROTH. W. d. RUPPEL-
\ 4 llOFFROTH 4 RUPPEL,
H. ArTOKNEYs-AT-LAN
Somerset, Pa
4 Al business entrusted 10 their care viii be
,ssdily and punctually attended 10. once
Z asin Gross street. opposite Aanmoth
lock
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

|llR. Z. F. BIrTNER,
~ PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
.asphons No. Is. Somerset, Penn'z.
1oe over Fishers Book store.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09
iOHN d. UHL,

,UHN d. UHL,
AIrOllAEY-AT-LAWs
sOInsrset, Pa
al prompuy attend W all b n. -ess en-
5i a uinI. Oncy ADVANCE On coAioo-
AZ, Al. OIncs ia Mammoth BLOCK
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-09

The ancients believed that rheuma-
tism was the work of demon within
a man. Any one who mas had an
attack of sciatic or infiammatory rheu-
matism will agree that the infliction is
demoniae enough to warrant the belief.
1t has never been claimed that Cham
berlain's Pain Balm would cast out
demons, but it will cure rheumatism,
aud hundreds bear testimony to the
truth of this statement. One applica-
ton relieves the pain, and this quick
relief which 1t affords is alone worth
mauy times its cost For sale by all
druggists.