The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-05-18

From Household Words.

An open confession IS good for the
SOUL" is familiar adsge. and 1 admit l
experience a sense of relief In making a
clean breast of a mild species of deceit
IN which l have been Internationally en-
gagged for three or four years, namely,
sending to the newspapers perfectly men
dacious paragraphs concerning alleged
hobbies of the Emperor of Germany. l
am responsible for two dozen Of such, all
told Each went its rounds of the press
home, colonial American and foreign.
Most Of these yarns were treated In
satirical fashion by the comic papers of
all lands, and many formed the subject
for irreverent cartoons, with appropriate
verses attached. Not one paragraph con-
tanned a particle of truth. to the best
of my knowledge; should the Kaiser have
been actually interested in any specific
pursuit for which gave him credit, then
II was only a coincidence.
I do not claim TO be a pioneer in re-
gard TO this sort of fraud; 1 am GER
tain that scribes were in the field describ-
ing bogus hobbies of the German En-
peror long before l entered 1t. Some are
apparently ION the job" stll. l some
times see in the papers a par about the
Kaser's crazes which is not mine, but
which is doubtless Of an equally credible
character.
A year or two ago my maiden attempt
on the line Caught on and l was thus
impelled to perpetuate repeated Ananias-
isms of the kind. l sent the following
par. to the London papers and it APP
peared in most:
THE Kaiser as a Bee-keeper. lat
est hobby of the German Emperor is bee
keeping. He has large apiary, to which
he personally attends, and he daily spends
an hour or two In watching the operations
of the Industrious insects His Majesty
has been heard to remark that he has
methodical habits that enable him to get
through colossal amount of work with a
minimum of hurry and fatigue"
But the fun came in when the report
reached Paris where It was received with
chorus of derision by the press jour
nalist in the gay city treated the news as
follows: lone could laugh at such frivolity
on the part of the ruler of the German en-
pire, were it not for the better memories of
Alsace and Lorraine" Another scribe PEN
ned the following caustic note: eve wish
his Majesty would give his exclusive at
tention TO the pursuit of bookkeeping, and
leave off muddlng the affairs of the state.
close and constant supervision of his
apiary would prevent his impetuous and
tic personality from constituting a
standing menace to the peace Of Eprope!
The bee fiction, / may mention, was also
the subject of an article In the monthly
magazine published by a certain provin-
cial church congregation. 1t gave as an
instructive object lesson the supposed ie-
votion of a regal parsonage laden with the
duties OF head of the Fatherland for the
| humble insect. and finished with parody
of Dir. Watts well-known hymn which
treated of the little busy bee and the busy,
mighty Kaiser.
Space will not permit of my describing In
detail several other of my Kaiser hobby
| spool" although | should like to. If not
particularly interesting, thy were at least
varied in character I may say that one
which described His Majestys having in
vented process that could extract 99A
per cent. of gold from the talings or re-
fuse of a gold mine, which 1 gave, at the
period of the great Kaffir boom 20 the edi-
tor of a city financial paper as a joke, and
which was printed as such, was graveiy
quoted In the prospectus of a Rand MIN
| ing company that was issued a few weeks
| later, and which concern ultimately turn
| ed out TO be of the wildcat, bucket-shop
| order.
But the game is now played QUO, or
| could not, as a matter of business. afford
| to make public this confession. Fancied
! hobbies of the German Emperor are at
| present stale fiat and improbable copy"
| For instance, when His Majesty was last
! in England l sent plausible item TO the
papers concerning an imaginative new
| craze and not a single editor would
| touch II.
remember with gratitude that Kaiser
| Wilhelm was once Of signal service TO me.
In financial way. By virtue of the money
obtained from sending TT the press a flc-
titous account of that mbnarch being en-
| ga ed on the project of comforting a boon
on humanity, by inventing an unbreak-
able shoe lace. I was luckily enabled to
pay the brokers out of my humble abode.
am, hone, professionally, by no means
done with the Emperor, although fabri-
Gated hobbies of his, as I have said, are
| to-day of no account.
Long may he reign-and long, long may
he inspire interesting, IL somewhat I'M
| veracious, "copyl"