The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1900-11-27
WHAT CONSTITUTES A LADY?

When the summer lies behind US
and we begin to think of indoor life
and pleasures, we are than apt
to consider social relations and
the giving and accepting of invita-
ton to other peoples houses. Every
social event brings into use the much
abused titles of ladies and ''gen-
tlemen," and l thought it might be
helpful if we used our meeting to
Discuss
WHAT CONSTITUTES LADY.
1t is a beautiful old name of re-
spect, that we are misusing and mis-
applying all the time, and we ought
to care enough about it to acquire a
right to claim it as our own, for
nothing outside of ourselves can en-
title Us to its distinction. Fifty thou
sand ii year in her own right does
not make a girl a lady-nOr a splen-
did home, nor superb jewels and
gowns. 1t ought to be in a certain
way a heritage-that is, the daugh-
ter of a good, refined mother should,
by all natural laws, be also refined
and good but the younger of you,
my dear readers, know that this is
far from being the s
1t has become a notable fact in
foreign countries, where great names
and splendid positions hold the mem
bers of noble families before the
worlds eyes from generation to gen
GRAFTON, that many and many an
hOnOred title to-day has no fitting
representatives. 1t has been down
hill work with some historic names
for many years. This is what | mean
by saying that nothing outside of
yourself can make you a true lady.
Good as it is to feel a glow come
to our hearts when we say: My
father died for his country ;" or,
My mother was u blessing to the
poor ;" or, "My grandfather's word
was as good as his bond )" all these
together cannot make the children
and grandchildren ladies and gentle
men, much less the mere possession
of immense wealth and power, or
the living in magnificence and lux
ury, even though the world rings
with the story.
TRUE LADY MUST BE UNsELFIsH.
To be a lady, a girl, in the first
place, must be truly unselfsh. No
one who is greedy for her own ad-
vantage, self-seeking in all her
contact with others, can attain the
gentleness, the courtesy, the love
illness of manner which are the very
essence of ladyhood. One of the
prettiest ways of speaking OF "a lady
is to call her a genIeWOmdn, and
that means, in our day, some one in
sympathy with every pure and good
and delicate thought, whose voice is
gentle, who is thoughtful of others.
In old English days and in the
early use of the English language, a
lady was the wife or daughter of Il
man of title and aristOcratic birth :;
to-day, in our country, the highest
meaning of the title is that such a
young woman is in sympathy with
all that is elevated and improving ;
is sternly determined not to have
any connection with what is cloud"
or vulgar, keeps alOof from coarse
and unworthy companions, and
guards herself and her home from
every low and doubtful pleasure or
amusement, ever though these may
have the sanction of both fashion
and popularity.
SHE MUST BE TRUE.
The word of a gentleman was
in the old days a sacred thing; to
go behind it and find that a man who
so called himself had spoken an I'M
truth or broken a promise, was to
put him outside of the respect or
regard of his fellows. He ceased to
be a gentleman! And it is just as
distinctive a quality of a real lady
now. A woman who is untruthful
or breaks her word even to the low
Hest person in the world has forfeited
her title. She may have all the &C.
complishments the schools can give.