The daily sentinel., 1900-07-24
Seqti7eI S1orteakes..

-IHZO0t.
Mr.. Smith spent Sunday in Antlers.-
I Glenwood Avalanche. The real truth OF
the matter is that Mr.. Smith spent Sun
| dsy right here in Grand junction.
A Maine Judge recently united in mar
riage one Jovanka Vukosavljovick and
Stoyan Pycz. Contrary to the old ad-
age, some things are easier done than
said.
Scientists have discovered that light
ming strikes more women than it does
men every year and still fool man con-
tinues to monkey around and get into
dangerous places.
| Late census returns show that ninety
eight wooden legged men live in the city
of Chicago. This should be a juicy field
to draw from for stump speakers for ap-
preaching campaign purposes.
Through an oversight in drawing up
the papers it is stated that controversy
has arisen between the old and new town
companies as to who is the real owner Of
tbs ownerless dogs to be found on the
streets.
A Chicago baker is suing a woman for
$1,000 damages, who maliciously circu-
lated the report that she discovered foot
prints in his bread. Her statement will
at least exonerate the baker from any
charges about his loaves being under
Sized
While manipulating one Of those 81
cameras OF Ballard's one Bud Shores got
the thing pointed the wrong wsy and
they say that the negative, while not SO
positive, is one that would put to shame
the wisdom OF even Fruita ex-ray ex-
pert.
These high strung society ladies who
support genuine" orioles, bluebirds,
canaries, etc, in their hats will please
take notice OF the statement from Eu
rope that last year alone. over 10000
artificial birds OF all varieties were man
ufactured in Vienna out of the feathers
OF domestic hens.
THE DISCOURAGED LOVER.
Daphne is summer beauty, but her grace
my poor heart mocks.
For know could not buy her such lot of
fluffy frocks
-Gazoot.
1t is now announced from Denver that
a census of prairie dogs OF the state is
about to be taken. II the party in
charge will communicate with the Col
umbine band he will be saved the ardu-
GUS task Of enumerating those on the
road to Meeker, as one of the girls
counted them all while coming over the
other day.
A Newcastle barber named Tubbs ad-
vertises to furnish music to order with
baths, haircuts and shaves but it is
doubtful il his more sensitive customers
will care to experience the delights Of
having their whiskers reduced to the
tune OF a lively wostep or cake walk.
The proverbial time tried variety Of chin
music will no doubt continue to satisfy
even his most fastidious customers.
A Hoboken scientist states that twelve
women were struck by lightning last
year in the United States while remov
ing clothes from wire clotheslines, but
no mention ls made of the 467 faithful
husbands whom statistics show 60 to
make up a bloody category OF untimely
deaths while chasing 467 cats across
back yards where wire clotheslines
playfully dangled in the moonlit hori-
zon.
The improved business conditions were
noted this morning when, at an hour be-
fore the real crowds began to assemble,
coal wagon attempted to take hub off
the starboard horse attached to an auto
at Fifth and Main streets. After the
sewer and water questions are settled, as
they no doubt will be some day, an ap-
preparation to widen the streets in the
business section OF the city might not be
out OF order
A citizen Of Reading, Pa. buried one
wife Tuesday and married another
Thursday, justly claiming the honor
and proud distinction of being the first
to celebrate both funeral and mar
riage in the new church edifice. An in
quisitive public will marvel at his nerve
in fooling away all day Wednesday, al
lowing others golden opportunity Of
slipping in and frustrating his we'll laid