davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Hoods
$a1:Sapa1.Zxa

81 had that tired feeling ali the time.
Was as tired in the morning when I
rose as I was when went to bed, I
took four bottles Of Hoods Sarsa-
parilla and it made me feel like new
man. could work hard and not feel
tired. I recommend Hoods to all
who need good medicine" A.P.
CHARTER, Creston, Iowa.
Hoods sarsaparllla is sold by all drug.
gists. Get Hoods and only Hoods.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11

flalaS Enou1h. ssSs H, gssss 81 ~
IS Eminent Handwriting Expert ton
witness stand Thu. writer u. II thlt
note rs q bunco steerer BY instinct" 3
Eminent attorney Explaia TO the
jury, how you arrive at that conclu-
sion" VI 4. IN. ss e 5S NJ
Eminent Handwriting Expert Be,
cause he makes q dash after every
y. Baltimore American.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Why.

Ragged Robbins-Dis tramp joke
writer is our best friend. =
Weary Walker-How's dat?
Ragged Robbins-W'y he'scontineral.
~ givin' us new gags ter work.
Weary Walker-Dat's SO. wonder
WV sech a gifted Teller ever left de per.
flesh ter work. s,ss
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
True to Life.

Playwright-"In the third act the
wife comes in late and finds her hus-
band sound asleep. Then she creeps
over to the lamp and goes through the
last chapter of novel,"
Manager-"It would be more real
istic If you have her creeping over to
his vest and going through the peck.
ets.' Chicago News.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
on . different ELAN.

On . Different clan.
you've cheated Inc out Of my
watch, sir!" he cried.
''No Christian, old man, would ever
have done it,"
'Ah, my friend" the honest pawn
broker replied,
"1'm running this shop as Moses
would run it,
Chicago Tribune.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Up,ett,ux Ar,thmet,cal rrsd,tion.

Jack-How did you come out on
that bulldog pup you bought?
Dick--Lost over 100 per cent on the
transaction.
Jack-Oh, I guess not. A hundred
per cent is all you can possibly lose.
Dick-Think so, do you? Well, l
paid $40 for the pup, and then I had
to give boy dollar to take him out
and drown him. If that isn't hun
dred and ten per cent loss, I'd like to
know what you call it.-New York
Sun.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
What's in q Name.

Mr.. Adams-"My wife and I were
particularly gratified over letter re-
ceived from our boy the osser day
announcing that he leads his class"
College Professor-"Ah! yes. The
boys march into class in alphabetical
order. '-Philadelphia Press. ,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11

Just as surely indicates that the
blood is lacking in vitality and the
elements of health as does the
most obstinate humor that tho
vital fluid is full Of impurities.
Hoods Sarsaparilla cures that
tired feeling by enriching and Vi
talizing the blood, creating .
good appetite and invigoratins
every organ Of the body.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Caution Necessary.

Mrs. Bingo-"You must be careful
what you say to the cook, dear. or she
will leave" -
Bingo-Why, was hard on her?"
Mrs. Bingo-"Were you? Why, any
one would have thought you were
talking to me. Life.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Mistaken Identity.

What did that woman in the next
block say when you called to get her
order this morning." asked the gro
Ger of his new delivery wagon driver.
II didn't see her; the hired girl
came to the door,"
well, what did she say?"
"She said, Mrs. Brown, here's a
tramp indianapolis Sun. -.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Au'>Ear,v a.. ~

An Early Start.
"That Blinkersdorf girl is the
promptest young woman I ever had
the pleasure of escorting." 81
"She comes by it naturally. Her
father was a car starter."-Detroit
Free Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
'Fortiasa,

'What're you dom wild de new
alarm clock?" asked Flooding Pete. Z,
Il had to git IT, answered Meander-
ing Mike. Last night / dreamed !
was workin' an, I'm goin' to set dis
every two or three hours so as not to
take any chances. Washington Star.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Looking for . aaap.

"1s this fire insurance once?" he
asked as he entered.
Eyes, sir" replied the spruce young
clerk.
What will you charge me for a pol
icy that will insure me $50 q week In
case am fired from my present situa-
ton ?" Pittsburg Chronicle Tele-
graph.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Il Mere social (5r.;aoa.

81 Dobbs This would Be pleasanter
world IL people put more Il warm "a
genuine txarmthin their letters. z
y Robbs-"O oh, y don't know; don't
like warmth In business letter.. A. Chi.
fcago News
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11

squire-"You say he's a good re.
triever, Jorkins?"
Jorkins-"Yes, SIR
Squire-"Well, wish he would fetch
the money I paid for him. then!"-
Ally Sloper.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
4 Good Ms

A Good MAR
"They say the cheap magazines may
have to be discontinued, because the
price of paper has gone up"
Indeed? Who is responsible for
the rise?" a.
"oh. suppose some philanthropist. 2
Life. 4 .7l.,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
More. Information,

More Information ~
Ton'my-Say, paw s BIZ q n.
/ Mr.. FiggWell? Il. ssa HI IsSs
what is a millinery opening -
1T is hole. 1t occurs in my ban.
account every spring. indianapolis
Press:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
"John- Hangs mack.

John" Hangs BACK
Christian Lady Why don't, you
come to our Sunday school, John?"
"John" wah Lee" Me flaidee CHS
tian hoodlums smashee head. New.
York Weekly.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11

Az dressing and color restorsr, -PAskx.'s HA,>.
BALsAN never fails to satisfy.
HISDxRooRxs. the BEST euro for corns. lscts
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Improved In Heath

Improved In Hsalth.
Black cribbles seems to have lost
his grip"
White-"Yes, he is getting over his
cold and will soon be at work again"
Cleveland Leader.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
substanti. Correct,

Substantially Correct.
Johnny-"Pa!"
Pa-"Yes."
Johnny-"Is an Indian reservation
place where the Indians are allowed
to live until the white men want it,"
Puck.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Proud OF His Dad.

The clergyman's little boy was
spending the afternoon with the bisa.
ops children. cat the rectory,"- he
said, we've got hen that lays an egg
every day."
"Pooh!" said Master Bishop, "my
father lays a foundation stone once
week."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
An Advanced Season.

The season in South Africa is very
far advanced" observed MIR. Gaswell.
His family awaited his explanation
in encouraging silence.
'Bloemfontein has had an early
fall" he .added.-Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
OUR BUDGET or FUN I'll
ssoME GOOD JOKES ORIGINAL
AND SELECTED.

a Good Retrievsr-why the sronosls
Is Used BY the Average Young Man
Lottery for the lIinistsr- . Dir
feront Plan.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11

There is a strong resemblance be.
tween the onion and the leek.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
The Power Of Numbsra

NJ EUWOr OF NQW00x1s n
Virgins (reading)-"T There are 10.-
600 men locked out In Chicago - E: A
Mrs. Virgins Gracious. why don't
they. break the doors III Or carry latch;
keys ?"-C Cleveland Leader.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Boosted Numbers.

Der when we had 200 people on the
STAGE
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Amel,ora.tl;adL I'm.

Amsliorated AthIstios. AZ
Your basketball club hasn't report.
ed any broken bones lately. n s;;F1
5s NO; we voted out all the girls Who
waited to play for exercise Chicago
News. ! s7'.,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11

The living skeleton in the museum
finds that his loss is his gain.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Not Yet Due.

q she"Dearest. l gave you your
birthday present three weeks ahead
of time, and you haven't even thanked
me-" 555S sc
q He well, Til thank you when my
birthday comes. :" Chicago Record.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11

1t Must Have lseen Open Toward Him.
Snarley-"How did lingo get run
over?" s4s
Yow-"He was STOPPING to pick up a
horseshoe. Syracuse Herald. Z
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
Frat Meoesslty,

"How would you define a crying
need?'" asked the teacher Of the rhe-
toric class,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11

sambo Who IS this Jobson; s3yon
work tor anyhow q & Oh, wen. III
hs.s his wife's husb al 3. s.s' Il
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11

Send for "Choice Recipes.
BY Walter Baker d Co. Ltd, Dorchester, Nase.
mailed free. Mention this paper.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11

"A handkerchief" replied the SOL
emn young man with the wicked eye.
Chicago Tribune.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
DritI.h Ari.tEocrrAI " d y = ala VI

M nlrfttsh AristocrAcy Blamed ]. Il
Many people, attribute sthelr recent
I IS 10 iegenerA The life of
iMA s..l does not produce vigDr. Indiss
gestlnle supp rs, constant nerve strain
The. blood Tint mikes heroes must
come from healthy ST o1mlachs. Hostet-
iter's Stomach, bitters puri1es the blood
and strengthens the stomach IL cures
constipat ton, Sindig ton and dyspepsia
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
aoxey-"That is nothing! W

RoXey-"That Is nothing! Why,
down in Texas we had 500 people on
the stage and we would have had
1000 if some of the mob hadn't rushed
outside to head US off."-Chicago
News.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11

she-"I wonder why young Sap
hedde wears a monocle?''
He-"To prevent him seeing more
than he can comprehend. suppose"
Philadelphia Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-05-11
A Romance...By Hannah B. Mckenzie.


bitterest enemy For moment Day
was silent; then she turned to Mon
teith and laid her trembling little hand
in his.
And Magnus is perhaps dying be-
cause he tried to save her! Can l
have been hard and unkind? l al
most hated her. And now she is dead /!
God forgive me and grant her peace!
Evan, take me to my brother. I seem
to have no one now but YOU"
He drew her to him for one second,
and kissed her trembling lips. And so,
in the midst OF tragedy and sorrow
bitter like blood and dark as deed
Of death" deep trust and sweet hope
came back to two human hearts.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-05-13

Patent appliances don't appeal to these
great men and they viii even go 50 far
IS not 10 teach in couis where such con-
veniences as meat grinders and improved
coffee roasie rs axe used. In one hotel in
Paris, she erection of which was due to
American capital. all the kitchen fittings
were brought from the United States in
the hope of expediting and easing the
work for the employees. One chef and his
corps Of assistants after another, was duly
install ed and as duly and promptly re-
signed the Big and paying job. assuring
the management that no coed work could
be done with the American machinery.
Eventually the old fashioned and clumsy
French apparatus was restored and the
cooking went on TO perfection. OF course,
the rehabilitation of the old regime re-
quired the employment CT double as many
domesiics, but the result was confessedly
too good to be ignored. That happened five
years ago and Paris kitchens are growing
more up to date at pace no faster than
che kings of the kitchen will allow, though
the exposition is doing wonders not only
TO convince the pcwcrs behind the ranges
of the worth of mechanical devices but
to produce, eventually what has never
been known in Paris, truly great woman
cook. Emily Holt.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-05-13

fire weakens there is no reckless waste by
dumping and rebuilding or restoring with
a quantity of kndliug wood. Briquettes
or cellumettes. laudaisies or fagots are
thrust here and there among the enbers
and rekinde the whole in the shortest
space. Briquettes and fagots cost 3 cents
a bundle and are made Of wood chips,
sawdust, the odds and ends of scraps OF
the wood yard all nodded into little cakes
that look amazingly like dog biscuit and
that are stuck together with preparation
far more inhammabie and certainly far
safer than the libation of coal oil that the
careless American cook pours on her dis
pensing fire. AHumettes landalsies are
really a triumph of the French interpreta-
ton Of the motto waste not want not.
They are corn cobs, big and little, put
through a rosin bath, and a half dozen OF
these cheap devices thrust into apparently
lifeless coal viii bring il up TO a flourish
ing FIRE in the short space Of jiffy.
Now with coal selling in France during
the winter ut a little short Of thirteen
dollars q con, The French cook, in pri-
vate house or restaurant, actually ex-
pends less on the fuel than will ON Amer
iOan cEisuiere who can have her coat sup
ply at half the above mentioned price.
That Is one reason why the Partisan cook
looks with dismay at the costly electricity,
Go into the newest hotels where the ranges
from the old cafe Vachette to the grand
new Palace Hotel on the Champs Elysees,
and It win be found that old King Coal
is still very powerful OLD soul and that
one of the causes of exquisltely dainty
French cookery is The great number of
simple little stoves and furnaces they use
for preparing various meats, pastry,
gateauS, etc.
Waste Not, want Not.
It is well worth examining a French
oven or stove to see how artfully waste
is headed off at every point and yet The
efficacy of the heat not in the least les
sened. When a French cook is prepar-
ing a lttle dinner he does not pretend
to heat his whole iron range for the
purpose. The big metal machine is SO
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-05-13
COOLEST SPOT IN PARIS
NEXT SUMMER.
1T WILL BE THE SECTION DEVOTED
TO VISIBLE AIR.

Practical Uses to which the Sub
stance May be Put-Hefrlgeratio ion
the Most ObyiOus-Its Economy as
Compared with Ice--Its Employ
ment in Hospitals and for the AIIe-
Walton of Pain.
New York, May 1.-THE coolest spot in
Par.s this year will be on the Champs de
Mars, in the main exposition building near
the center. Officially, The place is located
group four, class twenty-one," but Amer
lean visitors in search of this little area
CT frigidity, which, by the way, will be
created by an American, will probably fol-
low the unofficial direction.
In few cubic yards of this space
it will be really more than mere spot
the temperature will be S12 degrees below
zero, altogether too low for comfort but
for the most part it will be about 65 or 70
degrees above, just cool enough to be
pleasant. The region of extreme low tenn
pera ture will be filed with visible air,
liquid air as ii is called. and there will
be 80 to 40 gallons of it made on the spot
every hour. At least 80 gallons of air at
S12 degrees below zero will be used, to run
machinery, to show it's refrigerative pow
er and for surgical use after which it will
return 10 its normal gaseous state, cool
ing the surrounding atmosphere in the
pr ocess. And, of course, the presiding gen
Jus of the place will be Charles E. Trip
Ter.
In a week from now, at most the lique-
flying apparatus win be completely INSTALL
ed For the past TWO months or more,
work en- engines and compressers and
liquefers has been going ahead in three
different localities in New York state Two
sets of double compound engines of rs
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-05-13

dishes. He compases and sells exclusive
ece!pts. he goes 40 cafes st certain hours
during the day or night and in the kitchen
over his own table or stove prepares just
so many portions of his special dish and
the patron of the restaurant pays him
well for such services Added to these
sources OF income he edits cookery books,
occas isnaily contributes an essay 10 a
culinary magazine. and If one is a clever
cock and composes a salad he will for a
confederation. taste, c.itic- Sc and give i'm
prov ng sugges ions
Gustav.
There Is one famous specialist in Paris,
Gustav by name, who earns fifteen thous-
and dollars year by merely going the
rounds of a few restaurants every even
ing and preparing a certain number OF
game dishes at each. Days in advance 4
lover OF good food must leave his order
with the patron Of the restaurant for one
Of Gustav's famously good ducks. A date
is then fixed when the gourmand can hope
to enjoy the services Of the gifted cook
and when the opportunity 10 profit by the
great chefs art comes round an e.abo-
rate supper is the fitting environment for
the faultless duck
Down in the restaurant kitchen Gustav
himself touches nothing. He merely di-
reefs. standing like Napoleon at Auster-
litz impassively rega riding the progress of
the great triumph of mind over matter,
and controlling the forces that transform
crude fowl flesh into dish of most ex-
qu!site SAVIOR. Often enough the evening
rounds of man of Gustavs importance
include cali at a private house for the
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-05-13

fitted with electricity so that by the
touch of button the light is turned oA
in the ovens and displays the meat or
bread as IL roasts or Dakes. Sheets OF
prepared mica in the doors OF the ovens
permit the food to be seen. Undoubtedly
the only kitchen invention comparable TO
this is an English oven for bread making.
This last is fitted with q system of bells
that ring to announce the increase OF
heat in the great baking chamber, while
a chime goes off TO announce so almost
unfailingly the perfection OF the baking
that the whole performance looks like
prestidigNators' magic.
The InimitabIe French Chef.
The wonders, economies and automatic
performances of the cooking stove and
the respective merits of the French over
the American or vice versa fern a very
small part OF the true story why Partisan
cookery is still paramount. Among the
men that crowd the fair none are de-
serving of more attention and interest
than the chefs, those ariiettc mixers OF
delicious foods. They make French cook
cry great by Keeping up its traditions
and guarding It's honor and observing it's
etiquette and handing all this down from
generation 10 generation as carefully as
crown Jewels are passed on IN a royal
family. Al the Paris Exposition in the
fine arts and scientific departments,
one can see and hear all about
the art of French cookery to-day,
and observe the chefs magnifi-
cent medals and their exhibits. Since
the day Of Napoleon the First, the Acad-
annie de Cuisine has regulated the art
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-05-13

acditional earning capacity of nearly 80 oon
because cargo woEld be carried in place
OF the large amount Of csal now required
just how liquid air is to be applied to
this use mas not been explained as vet
nor mas the method of its manufacture or
storage. The substance is so volatile tha1
1t seems scarcely possible that il cou1S
De Kept for seven days, and ifiit is to be
MADE on board ship il would seem neces.
sary 20 cave coal and engines for it's
manufacture by cam power.
strangely enough, most persons fail 10
reallze that liquid air cannot be kept ike
water They seem to see no reason whv a
substance 312 degrees below zero eho,ld
pass away quicker than one 60 degrees
above zero. Letters come to the New
York laboratory of Mr. Tripler almost ov-
cry day asking for sample bottles of lio1id
air and many of these applications ar,
from Europe. 1t is because of this non
ular error that many of the extravaeap
claims for liquid air arise For example
one enthusiast would pe(lde air at a tenn
perature of S12 degrees below zero from
house to house in pais,as milk is now dis.
tributed.
Visible Air as an Explosive.
But the mistakes are not all on one side
Perhaps no phase of liquid air possibilities
! is commanding more attention than lis *
plosive power. A recent test in GERMANY
tti1o ~ NC VI a mgr Of1Sf, out IL
was also shown practically that the value
OF liquid air cartridge deteriorates very
rapidly. To be most efficient, it should ba
used as soon as made. The woeful ignor-
ance of many supposed scientists regard
ing the substance is shown by a recent "a
port of some earlier experiments in South
Germany.
The men in charge poured some LIQUID air
into a pestle and mixed in a little earth.
as they mix earth and ntro-glycerine in
making dynamite, adding liquid air AMI
earth now and then. When they thought
the mixture was about ready for use (rnost
of the liquid air having evaporated in the
mixing meanwhile) 1t was placed in a gun.
There was no report, of course, whereupon
it was given out that liquid air was of no
value as an explosive.
But every one who attends the exposition
this year will have ample opportunity to
see and judge of visible air for himself To
see liquid air running a motor engine will
at least prove that such a thing is possible.
To see liquid air successfully used in sur
gical operations, in the removal of ulcers