The Savannah morning news., 1900-06-17
BUMBIA PLAYS BARNARD.
Trained CocEoaehes Have a Game
of Football.

From the New York Tines
1t was in that kind OF restaurant. che
specimen Of which at least Is known 70
every New Yorker. where the economical
Of all classes seek indifferent food at mod
crate prices.
The thtrd-rate star opened biscuit much
as ore would open an oyster. pryiag the
edges apart with knife A solitary COX
roach lssped from the centre, crossed he
table area. and vanished into the wall.
Damned bug OF impudent assertion
detained the actor.
TIE man who had been snoring through
Z red rose at the next table aToke with
z quick demand:
WHO'S seeing any bugs?"
The actor looked az him compassion
ately.
one Of those beastly cockroaches tss
Just fed his lair, which was my Biscuit"
Re exclaimed
Why Go you say bes silly cockroacbes2
the other returned. warmly; don't you
know. MY dear sir, that the cockroach IS
by far the most intelligent bug known 10
tanciers?'
NO, I don't" the actor replied with
emphasis.
wen, It's so" continued the ether.
they have been trained to 60 most vo1-
derful things. myself have trained them
to play football. The last time was in
Bellevue I was laid up with a sp-aIned
knee. you know
The actor smiled peculiarly.
The last time I was in Bellevue l used
to amuse myself picking all sorts Of bugs
of the walls. These dropped into bot
tie. I had 10 stay there long while, an
the idea came 10 me Of training up two
football teams OF cockroaches. A, first I
had TO be content with a varsity ma a
scrub eleven. but finally, after hours end
DAYS OF patient effort, I succeeded IN
bringing out Two full teams with an am
bulauce corps, and promising substitutes.
Il all rad TO be done on the quiet, Tor
every time one OF those young doctors Up
there saw me at work with the teams
he'd say: An, he's still got bugs
"Weu. as / has said. everything went
smoothly for time. OF course I had TO
keep nv scrub team in another bottle
from my Varsity. The first time I put
EN- together I found all the members Of
each team dead in the morning. You see
the spirit of rivalry between the two or
ganizations was very strong, and suppose
a few Of the scrub started In 70 make va
dancies on the Varsity. Anyway, all OF
EN- were dead.
Then I had to start all over again. At
the close OF one of my big Varsity
matches that ended in a mass play, the
two teams. the ambulance corps. the sub
stitute and some likely reaches l had let
watch the game, got into a general dis
pute over the ruling of the referee, an
ex-member of one of the teams. who had
lost a leg in the sport, and they nearly
annihilated each other. The referee. OF
course. was killed
Il have my two teams with me, and If
you gentlemen want to see a game III
play them.
All eagerly assented. When a walter
had cleared the red-nosed ones table
everybody in the place crowded about It.
Here. waiter. bring me a whisky"
shouted the proprietor Of the cockroach
teams. Il always like to take something
before a game" he added apologetically TO
the crowd, they're so exciting. Here's TO
the success of the best eleven. Prosperity.
gentlemen
Now. then" said the exhibitor. his eyes
Frightening, wen play ball. Here Is my
first eleven. I call It Bumoe.'
The cockroach advocate took from an
inside pocket a glass bottle in whose screw
top were perforations. Holding II up to
the light he observed:
"A likely lot Of youngsters"
The others looked and saw nothing. He
ernptied nothing into his hand Then he
made motions as though setting a number
Of objects down upon the smooth table
surface.
There. they're lined up Did you hear
that scraping noise? That's their yell"
Next the narrator Tished out another
bottle from different pocket and repeat
ed the same motions.
Barwood's lined up now. There. hear
that yell. There'll be no preliminary prac-
lice to-day. The game'll begin as soon as
the toss Is decided. Now, you gentlemen
may not understand the game"
No, We don't" was the actors ener-
getic assent.
I'm glad you told me. So I'll Just ex-
plain It to you as IL goes on. Then.
after a pause;
What's that cheering? Oh, Bumbla's