The Republican., 1900-08-23
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/ Wanted No More Science !
They Would Rather Turn Honest Than Go
Through SUCH an Experience Again.
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my REsPEcTABLE friend. N

cradle sense of humor.
Il can tell you a story about me
and Andy and Patsy Darlington that
isn't bad fun" he said TO me one day.
1T was like this. Andy and me
often met at the Angel, in. Brixton,
and one day we were together and
pretty hard up. Well, in comes Patsy
a fellow l never cared much for, al
though he and Andy chummed to-
gether. We saw he'd something on his
mind, and | thought he wanted me
gone, but Andy would make me stop
for it. Patsy had been, down near
Leatherhead to see some friends. and
he thought he'd spotted a good thing.
Ever heard of Sir Miles Harold,
sir? o, you have. Well, then, YOU
know that he was nearly a millionaire,
If not quite. His father was big con-
tractor, but Miles was one of them
scientific gents, always bothering
with chemicals and things of that's
PATSY came down with the news
that it was a pace worth cracking
Sir Miles had got some splendid gold
and silver plate, and, as the house
wasn't well guarded, it was an easy
job.
"'You crack it. then, Patsy ses I.
I'm bit superstitious about scientific
gents
"'lt's as easy as winllin'' he ses.
The old fool thinks nothing but about
his playthings.'
''Andy looked at me and winked,
and then told Patsy to dry up while
him and, me talked it over. At last we
decided that Andy should 90 down and
have look at the job hisself, and if it
was all right we should go in partner
ship over it.
He went the next day He was
there a day or two and came back
quite enthusiastic, and we set to work
,at once.
"We hired a greengrocer's cart, with
fast pony. to do the job with. Patsy
drove down to Leatherhead. and Andy
and me went by train. Patsy was to
look after the cart while Andy and me
got the swag, but the programme had
to be altered The morning we set out
! slipped ON the wet pavement, and
came down on my arm. 1t wasn't
broken, but it was badly bruised and
my wrist was sprained, and | had 10
be odd man out stead of Patsy.
Il drew up outside the house as near
to the grounds as could get. and my
chums went on. 1t was capital night.
no moon, but starlight
'patSV had rnnrlyaT q Cu.;po ~; ,J,o,,.
to the larder, and, being a slim chap.
he wriggled through and went round
to the dining-room window and let
Andy in.
The best of the plate was kept in a,
cabinet in the dining-room. it only
took Patsy "a minute or two to pick
the lock, and Andy sucked, in his
breath at the sight inside. They were
busy storing it in the bag, when sud
denly the room blazed with light
electric light, of course-and a quiet
voice said: Please put your hands
above your heads. or 1 must shoot
1T was such knockdown surprise
that their hands went up almost by
themselves, and they screwed round
their heads to see Sir Miles-a pale,
dreamy-loolling gent, with a big fore
Understanding in a doorway with a
revolver covering them.
"'Don't give me the trouble to shoot.
gentlemen; it would make such a
nasty mess on the carpet ses he. Car
ruthers. bring me some cord
"A big young fellow stepped for
ward with a laugh and began fasten-
ing their hands and elbows together,
after which ne hobbled their feet.
"When they were trussed up Sir
Miles commanded them to follow him,
and they shuffled along. with the
young chap behind. He led them into
the workshop and made them sit
down.
"'Very interesting capture. Caruth-
ers,' said Sir Miles. 'Burglars?'
eyes, SIR ses Carruthers.,
"'You are not very intelligent mem
bers of your profession he ses to
ANDY and Pat. or you would not have
come here. Carruthers. oblige me by
going outside and coming in by the
window as these gentlemen did. 1
want to show them how stupid they
were
"'Yes, sir he ses. and he went out,
and presently bell close to them be-
gan ringing softly. He is getting
through the window now ses Sir
Miles. And this bell'-pointng to an
other-'rang when you opened the
cabinet. You were exceedingly fool
ish.'
""If you'll let US go. sir ses Andy,
speaking his politest. well never be
foolish no more. You're too clever
gent for us. sir
'Carruthers,' he ses when his man
came in again. this foolish person sug-
gests that | should let them go. He
does not know how well timed this
visit is. A capital opportunity for
trying my new battery. Carruthers.'
"Carruthers screwed up his face.
81 don't think should, sir ses he.
"'Why not?'
"'It might kill them, sir
"'O,' ses Sir Miles, as careless as you
please. they're lusty fellows; and, be-
sides, they broke into my house.
"poOr ndV and Patsy cir. xyara IN a