The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-08-19
Fun of the World.

During the rebellion Mcmillan was a sol
der in the Confederate army which OPP
posed Sherman's march 70 the sea At
one place in Georgia a brigade OF Con-
federates made a most determined stand.
I'VE occupied a hill well adapted %
defense said Mr. Mcmillan. The sdes
were steep and nearly bare. AT the TOP
were plenty of rocks 70 shelter our guns
and men Half way down the slope we
cut young trees and constructed an
abattis Here we awaited attack, and
did not wait in vain The vanguard Of
Sherman's army approached. and with
out delay rushed TO the assault. They
came brayely up the hills. and We now
ed them down. With splendid couras q
the fedeTals came again and again, and
our artillery and rife fire played havoc
among them. Night put a temporary
stop to the onslaught, but next day II
was renewed. More troops had come up
by this time and the number OF our as
sailants was increased. but the result
was the same. We beat them back aga n
and again with great slaughter. Finally
the attack ceased. altogether. To our
surprise we saw the federal armies
marching southwark through the valleys
TO the left and TO the right Of Us. BY
next day all had disappeared. Left alone
with no foe TO storm cur position, there
was nothing for US 10 do but 10 aban-
don our stronghold and move On in the
rear of the northern armies. 1t was Te-
cumseh sherman himself who had-ar-
rived at the base of our fortified hill and
ordered a cessa ton Of the attack. Years
afterward General Sherman and
CHANGED 10 be dining side by side at the
Fifth Avenue Hotel. I asked If ii was
trile he had ordered abandonment of the
assault upon our hill. He said 1t was.
Why did you do it?' I asked.
"'For the simple reason. replied Cen
eral Sherman. that by that time I had
seen enough fighting TO know the value
of the way around"
Z x Z
Paul Deroulede. the French politician.
is mass of apparent contradictions. He
is an agnostic who contributes generously
TO the church charities. a Republican
who desires to overthrow the republic,
a peace advocate who favors riot and
instruction, free trader who upholds
prohibitory tariff. and a Democrat who
even aids the royalist party Of France.
His contrariety is well illustrated by q
recent story He was discussing the
Boer war with a number of friends, and
after fierce diatribe against England,
said very earnestly:
II pray that the British will be I'M
mercifully beaten"
"Why, I thought you disliked the
Dutch" interrupted a friend.
Dislike them? I pray that they will
be exterminat6d," he declared with gen.
uine fervor.
x q x 4
A weary congressman, who could
"snore upon the flint" occupied a room
adjoining a German musicians.
have 10 give mo annt hpr
room. I guess" said the congressman to
the hotel clerk.
What's the matter? Aren't you COM
Portable where you are?"
''Well, not exactly. That German mu-
sician in the next room and I don't get
along well Last night he footed away
on his clarinet so that I thought ! never
would go to sleep. After I had caught
a few winks I was awakened by a
pounding at my door. What's the mat
ter?' I asked. If you please said the
German, dot you would schnore of der
same key. You vas go from B fiat to
G. and 1t spells der moosic.'
< < q z
One Sunday the minister Of a small
northern country parish church had the
misfortune to forget his sermon, and did
not discover his loss till he reached the
church. says a Glasgow correspondent.
Suddenly an idea struck him. He sent
for John. the beadle. and instructed him
to give out she one hundred and nine
teenth Psalm containing 176 versesl,
while he hurried home for his sermon.
On his journey back to church he saw
the faithful beadle standing at the
church door waving his arms and urging
him to hurry On reaching the door he
exclaimed:
Are they all singing, yet, John?"
aye. sir" replied John: They're at
it yet, but they're cheepin' like sparries.' -
x u q z
One summer when William NJ Evarts
was at his country home in Windsor,
Vt. a farmer who had followed his po-
Htical career in the newspaper for ma
ny years was extremely anxious TO see
him in the flesh, and drove eighteen
miles into town in order to catch a
glimpse of his idol
Senator Evarts at that time was being
entertained constantly. dining out almost
every night, and as ne drove out Of his
grounds to an appointment one evening
the farmer was lying in wait for him In
the road. The latter. seeing the pale,
ascetic face and meagre form of the IA
nous statesman, was disappointed.
well I declare" he exclaimed looks
d. IL III u dAN a. . BDeA t4rNs
x x x x
>dOltke's reticence was 50 pr0verbiaI
says The Argonaut, that, as the King s
birthdays approached there used to be
bets among the officers and the general
STAFF as to how many words Moltke
would use in proposing the toast Of the
day. Some hacked a nine-word speech.
others put their money On eight words
Moltke's habit was to say: ITO the
health Of his Majesty, Emperor and
King" or ITO his Imperial Majesty's
health" In 1884 an oyster breakfast was
staked on the MarshaTs not using more
than nine words. But, because he began
with the word gentlemen" the bet was
lost. The loser comforted himself By
saying: He's aging, Is Moltke; h ?
getting loqua cious!"
* z8
The New York Telegram relates story
OF little girl. The daughter II a clergy
man. who was ailine and in consequence
had been put IN BID early.
Mamma" SAID she. 4 want 20 see
my dear papa
No dear" said her mother. Papa r.
not to Be disturbed just now"
Presently came the pleading voice:
Il want 10 see my para
NO was the answer. 4 cannot dis
;ur5 him"
Then the f9ur-year-0ls parishicnsr
rose ~ a question n priyii &c.
Mamma" said she. Il an sick wo-
man. and I want % see my Minister
An amusing instance q Newspaper mis-
was that which report :
the Txung-ii-Y au1eu rs declaring thaf
they could not revc assess mated The e.
voys. because Csnfucius t1Uzht that am
bass doris must nor he murdered in the
spring or autumn j. should have rad
nat Confurias IN his Spring ard Az
.urun' taueHt that a-nbaFss5 ars mus n0-
b. murdered ArotEar - rs aDSo~lsrrs
worth recalling ~ TIE memory Z the
TssIrE -3t-Taul@u IS that not more s1fe.y