The people's journal. (Pickens, S.C.) 1891-1903, 1900-02-01
TOO MANY SMITHS.
A GOOD DEAL IS IN a NAME.
Bill Arp Tells OF Perplexi'y Growing
Out of Same Names-His Son Trav-
eled Long Distance and Found
He Had Another Mans Ttlepram,

eled Long Distance and Found
He Had Another Mans Tt legram
Pleasure, surprise and bcwil, crm ent
com bined gives q curious expression to
d mans features. One OF our boys is ~
doctor in Jacksonville, Fla. Tue other
day while visiting u patient be recciv,
ed telephone message from his wife,
Come home at once q telegram from
your sister Hattie Gays your father is
dying and to come at once" Imagine
his feelings OF distress. Hurryipg home
ne found his wife in tears, his valisc
packed and he had only half an hour 10
mako the train. All the long night he
grieved and sig he'd, as he tried to slecn,
hut could not. Nsxt morning AZ ~
o'clock he reached Cartersvl!le aud
met ME and Ha,tie's husband driving
mcrrily to the po5tu t1ice. He coulJeni
speak. He couldent understand. Plea
ure, surprise and be wilderment flied
his eyes and every feature Of his face
de had travelled 400 miles in haste cx.
pcctiDg to tind me dead or dying, and
here l was capering around rs lively
as young colt in q tartcy patch. Hr
cOuident stand nor understand, but snl
down and said "Thcre ha. ben .
mistake, but thank the Lord you are
we'll. l never noticed wheru the tcir.
gram came frOm nor to what Dr.. Smith
1t WAS addressed but supposed that
Sarah knew and l came at once. Lei
me 90 down to tho Office and wire hor.
coDr girl she will b, SO anxious" In
due time he received an answer, Mes.
sage not for you nor from CartcravillN."
Well, well! How much mental distre.s
and tiresOme travel would have been
saved had he carefully read The telu.
gram. He was dreadfuily mortiti I'd at
his own bluuder, but we were all graft.
lied at his unexpected visit, and as we
happened to have turkey for d inner, all
went happily and the day was GLAD
one. The trouble is in tho name. Doc
tors should be named Galen or Hippo
crates or Alternately or Valentine Mott
or Westmorcland. Bat Smith Is 80 COM
mon and besides there Is a co orcd son
OF Aesculapius in Jacksonville aud not
long ago our boy received q telegram
that was Intended for the cOlOred bro
ther, and IL said Its boy and Mi
rauny is doing vel" Tnerc is d good
deal IN name. There was nearly forty
dollars to my son in this instance, for
iN his name had been Vanderbilt or
IL )ck kcleller or even SqucIzelfanter, the
telegram would not nave miscHrrleu
The Smiths, Jones, Browns and John.
sons ought to stop multiplying the
name and take new start, like they
do in Mexico. When couple mate 10
Mexico the first tHing they do before
they marry Is to agree upon \ family
name. If the girl is humble and sub.
missive, she takes bi, name If she is
wealthy or arlstocrntic and he is not,
he takes her name. II they are OF
equal rank, they make up a new name
~ kind Of mixture of both family
nance. For Instance, Mr.. Brown and
Miss Jones would be welded as Mr.. and
Mrs Brojon. My wife and would have
been Mr. and Mrs. Hutcharp, for she
WAS Hutchins, aud then our Aescul-
appcOn son would have been DR.. Hutch
arp or maybe DR.. Keely, after his wife,
and have saved that long ride and
forty dollars. But ull's well thai ends
well, and we are still calm and serene.
Ooe OF our little grandchildren, u
three-y ear old, thinks it mighty snnr,
and great fun to call me ~ pass and
say, Hello, major! Hello, Bill Arp
Hello, grandpa ~
There Is a good deal in name. |
| like big strong names like Webster,
Calhoun, Washington, Macon, Lamar
! Mcintosh, Bayacd, Buchanan, Could
ing, etc, but 1t must oc a serious con
|
ty euphonlOus name to swap it off for 6
disagreeable or peculiar one. | knew
q Miss Goulding to marry MIR. Tur
nlpseed, and always thought sht
must have loved him mighty hard
Charles Lamb tells q story about ar
Englteh girl who was courted by .
wealthy gentleman who was good anc
I handsome and had every virtue, bu,
| his name was Hogs flesh. Sho loved
him, but she cOuldent bear to tb ink oi
| being called Mrs. Hogs aesh and she
refused him for three years and would
have kept on refusing, but he went be
| fore parliament and had his name
changed to Bacon. That is how the
name Bacon originated, and reckon
our Senator came from that stock -
and it is good stock.
So have come pretty near reading
my cpitaph again for there was news,
pnper man around when our doctor
left jacksonville and they arc given to
anticipating bad nows- and II he heard
| Was dying, Of course be could out il
| in that | was dead next morning. r
p0rtere are death on bhd news. When
the original Bull Arp died in Texas ii
Went all over the country that it was
me and l had to retire frCm The field
Tor q time and wait until the people
| learned bctter-fOr wherever | went
WAS n suspect and pronouuc, d Ii fraud
but read my cpitnpbs anG was sats
fed. Mr.. Ward, Df Birmingham, in
| trOdnced mo 10 an audienccd no,
long ago and said u lecturer OF
q writer Of humorous sketches was
or no consequences uOtil he took
another name-that Charles &. Brown
was unknown until he took the name
Of Artemus Ward that Henry Show
%as Dobouy until no wrote over th.
signature Of Josh Ii lline>; that Sam
uel Ciencna was never heard OF until
he became Mark Twnn; and 80 Fran
els Is. Harie became Bret Harto ard
| Dickens became Boz; ana Melville
Landon became ELI Perkins {; and Al.
fred Townsend became Gath nd
Shillaber wus Mrs. Partingtou and
Goodrich @as Peter Parlcy and Lockc
was Petroleum V. Nasby and Jobn
Proctor was Puck: and Maurice rhomp.
son wa5 Doesticks; and George HArris
was Sut LDvengOou and Ben Franklir
was Poor Richard; and 20 form and
SO on, and last OF ul. mere is our friend
Bill Arp, who had to discard g0oG
old honest name and eEsume ono tho,