The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1900-09-13
STORIETTS.

James McNGill Whistler was once
painting a portrait of a distinguish.
ed novelist, who was extremely clever
but also extremely ill-favored. When
the portrait was finished, the sitter
did not seem satisfied with it. .'You
don't seem to like it, Whistler said.
lfhe sitter confessed that he did not,
and said in self-justifcation: "You
must admit that it is bad work of
( art" Yes" Whistler replied; "but
think you must admit that you are
: q bad work of nature"
Among all the horrors of war, hui
morous situations often occur. An
English army surgeon in South Afri-
ca tell an amusing story of an Eng
hshwoman of high rank who was en-
crossed by the charms of amateur
nursing. One morning, on approach
ing the cot of a soldier to whom she
7 mad given especial attention, she
round him with his eyes tightly clos
led and a piece of paper pinned on
Inc sheet, on which was written: .Too
u to be nursed today. Respectfully,
The late John j. Ingalls, was en-
pioyed by certain flash newspapers to
write accounts of all sorts of events
and sign his name to them: In the
course of his contact with the SPORT
ing fraternity the ex-senator made
tne acquaintance of john T.. Sullivan,
md one day, after examining the pu-
g1l1sts muscles and beating tattoo
on his chest, he asked: Sullivan,
why don't you enter the ring again
and try to win the championship
from Corbett?" For the same rea-
son.. answered Sullivan, 6 that you
dlunt enter the race for senators. /
consider one Knockout enough
! heard good story the other day,
says the Denver Times, and maybe
you have heard it, too; but, anyway,
It is worthy of repetition:
Dan Grogan was prosperous
contractor, and he had four boys,
great, big, strappin' fellys, wild hands
on EN- like canvas hams, an wan day
Whin Dan doid these same buccos
mad floral pilly made fer i'm, wild
Papa in purple ilnmartels ophon
ct. Phwat do yees tink av thin,
Papa and thin wild hans as big as
hams?
well, they tuck Dan, pace be to
his soul, out ia the cimetehy, and
2hwn they got i'm thayre the pail
bearers all walked along aud dhrop-
ped clod ay dirt upon i'm, and
shayre whoit gloves as well, and thin
the undertaken kim along wild the
pilly. He bumped up against Mick
mccarthy. and knocked off the first
on Papa and ct left only "A. p.
a. Thin they tellyphoned fher the
caraner''
When certain old Dominican
father, after forty years of honest
service in the Philippines, had ar
rived at such an advanced age that
he knew his time for this world was
snort, his brother padres asked him
20 write book detailing his expert
ences. He consented, but added: enc
one shall see it while live, but wher
am gone you will open my private
chest and there you will find the man
nscript.' Recently the old man died.
Ind, after he was buried, the Domini.
tan fathers opened the chest and
. round therein vast bundle of manu-.
script sewed together in the form of
book. On the cover We're these
words: The Characteristics, Habits
and Customs of the Filipino People.
BY Father d. o. NJ. Prepared
rs z Result of Forty Years Careful
>St1 and Observation of the Race
\ they opened it to the third page and
found it blank. There were three
hundred blank pages. On the very
last sheet was written these words:
This is all know, after forty years.
study, Of the Filipino people,