The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1900-08-23

When Senator Hoar OF Massachu-
sets was recently asked what he had
been reading Of late he replied: For
serious work, David Harum;' for light
reading and amusement I've been 60
ing through Gibbon again"
Charles Haddon Sturgeon, the nom
conformist preacher, was q great pun
ster. One day, while an invalid at
Mentone, he was walking by the sea
shore at a time when the Mediterran-
can was raging furiously. Suddenly
he interrupted the conversation and
asked: What are the wild waves say
ingf" and then he gave his own witty
answer to the question: LET us
(s)prayr
A guide, who was showing a party
through the Senate corridors Of the ma
tional capital few days ago halted
them before the statue of John Han
cock. and, after they had admired 1t
and its unique inscription, led them
away with this final bit of information:
Hancock was a great man; you know,
he wrote the Declaration Of Independ-
eneep And not one of the party raised
his voice In protest.
1t is said that certain Colorado mill
ionalre, who is getting up an art gal
lery, recently went to Whistler's Paris
studio and, glanclng casually at the
masterpieces on the walls, asked with
hn Of hA enalA
mines: How much for the lott" -Four
millions" said Whistler without Q mo-
ment's hesitation. "Whatw calculated
the astonished millionaire. my postum
nous prices" replied the painter, as he
added, "Good-morning."
Sir Robert Finlay, the new English
attorney general, was engaged on
case for breach of warranty of horse,
the age Of the animal being the chief
matter In dispute, and had to cross-ex-
anime hostler. yokel with every ap-
pearance of rustic simplicity. upon
what authority do you swear to the
age of the mareT he asked. I'm sure
OF It," was the reply. Half q dozen
more questions failed to elicit from the
witness any more specific answer. But
how do you known" Numbered Sir Rob-
ert at last. 81 had It from the mares
own MOUTH replied the hostlsr.
During Hans Won Bulow's leadership
OF the orchestra at Hanover, while one
OF his grand intermezzos was being
played with great feeling by his musi-
clans, a peculiar noise annoyed the
leader for some little time. At nrst he
thought 1t resembled the huttsr of
wings, but soon he discovered an sle-
CANT lady tanning herself In one Of the
boxes close by. Bulow kept on with
his gestures, fixing his eyes on the Of
fender in a manner which meant re-
proof. The lady, not needing this, was
suddenly surprised by the leader drop
ping his stick and turning toward her.
Madam he cried, "if fan you must
please. at least, keep time with your In
fernal nuisance"
The tutor in one Of the smaller
schools near Chauncey Depew's native,
town of Peekskill had drilled q NUMBER
of his brightest scholars In the history
of contemporary politics. and to test
both their faith and their knowledge
he called upon three Of them one day
and demanded declaration Of person.
al political principles: you are q Re-
publican, Tom. are you not?" Eyes,
SIR" "And. Bill, you are q Prohibi-
ZIONIST, l believer" Yes, SIR" And.
Jim, you are DemocratT Yes, SIR"
"Well, now, the one of you that can
give me the best reason why he BE-,
longs to his party can have this wood
chuck, which l caught ON my way to,
school this morning" 81 am q Repub-
lican," said the first boy. because the
Republican party saved the country in
the war and abolished slavery" "And,
Bill, why are you q Prohibitionistr
"I am q Prohibitionist," ratified of the
youth, because rum Is the country's
greatest enemy and the cause Of our
overcrowded prisons and poorhousss."
Excellent reasons. BILL" remarked the
tutor, encouragingly; now. why are
YOU a Democrat, JimT well, SIR"
was the slow reply. II am q Democrat
because I want that woodchuck."