The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-04-05
THE COOKS FIRST CRABS
she Had Never Tried to Cook the
"Beasts" Before and Never
Would Again.

your mistress say that she was fond
of them. Will you cook them for
herr"
) ''Sure and l will, responded Bridget.
taking the strong paper bag, contain
ing the collection from the hand Of
the boarder.
''And it's much obliged the mistress'n
be to you, SIR. and Bridget started
upstairs to show the prize to her
mistress, who was ill in bed, while the
boarder went to his room on the top
floor.
Now it happened that Bridget, in
the course of her varied cooking ex-
periences, had never before come in
direct contact with crabs. She sup
posed, very naturally, that the little
beasts were dead. the same as the
other animals had been which she had
prepared for the tables of her various
mistresses; and. consequently, she
had not the slightest idea of the hid
eous crawling life contained in the
bag, which she held SO carelessly in
her arms as she entered the room of
her mistress. The crabs, however,
were only abiding their time.
"Mum." she said, "here's prisent
the gincrous Top-Floor-Front gave me,
with the direction that / be after cook
ing thin for the MISTRESS and she
held the bag close to her bosom by
way of calling attention to their con-
tents.
''What are they, Bridget?" inquired
the mistress.
Grabs" replied Bridget, with a
broad grin. ''Oh, it's foin warm
heart the Top-Floor-F Front has, mum" /"
''Why, Bridget" said the mistress,
anxiously watching her careless hand
ling of the bag, 'don't you know that
crabs are alive and can pinch?'
"Surc, mum, and you'll be after
making jolly, even if you are sick"
and Bridget's smile broadened.
why, I've baked bushels of the dar-
lint little beasties," and by way of
showing her familiarity with the ami
mails she opened the bag and thrust
her nose into it to have good look
at them.
Now it happened that an exceeding
" large, long-armed and strong-clawed
revengeful old crab had pushed him
self to the top of the pile with.
in the bag. His black beady eyes
caught sight of Bridget's plump nose
He did not know what it was, but il
certainly looked as though it was made
to pinch.
The nose came closer and closer
Suddenly, the long arm shot upward
and the strong pinchers closed with
a snap around the red end.
"Hoiy mither!!!' and with a yell
that made the window panes rattle in
the house across the street, Bridget
leaped up into the air, hurling the bag
of crustaceans violently from her;
but not until another Of the ''darlin1
little beasties" had fastened hold or
| the little finger of her right hand an6
two more had gripped the neat white
collar she always wore around he1
neck.
The bag fell on the bed, in front o1
the sick woman, burst open and about
a dozen Of the hideous crawlers start
ed for shelter underneath the friendly
bed clothes, while couple made {
scurry for the sick woman's long rec
hair, which was unfastened and la,
on the pillow around her head, doubt
less installing it for seaweed.
Never, in all history, sacred or pro
fame, did woman get out of bed a
quickly as did the screaming mis-
tress, and when she jumped sh
knocked the crabs sprawling in ever,
direction all over the room.
The Top-Floor-Front and the Frencl
dancing master in the back hall room
came downstairs, two steps at time
and gallantly rushed to the ladies' res
cue.
| The instant they opened the doc
Bridget, with yell that would hav
made the hair of Comanche Indial
stand on end, bounded out, knockin
the little dancing master fiat on hi
back, and made dive for her bed
room in the basement. Fortunatel
the shock of the collision broke tn
hold Of the crabs and they fell to tn
floor.
The mistress stood screaming o
the top of the comfortable, fringe c
crabs hanging to her nightgown an
. couple dangling from her long re
hair. The moment she caught sigh
of. the kind-hearted boarder she fe
fainting into his arms.
The two men secured the crabs an
placed them in a large tin pail. The
the kind-hearted boarder started OF
to hunt up Bridget.
He found her in her bedroom. wit
her head under the bed clothes, mum
, bling prayers and counting hi
beads as fast as she could make hs
fingers fly. When she saw the kin,
hearted boarder she leaped to her fe,
and shouted:
Il "a foin man you are, you dir,
/ blackguard. to be after frightenin
| the siven wits out Of poor goirl wit
|, your nasty spidery crabs. with Il
: deevil's own grip in their toes. G.
outi" and she hurled an old shoe