The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1900-03-23
FAT AND ELOQUENCE.
4 coMBiNATtCN THAT STARTLED A
BRITISH VISITOR. .-'

Ths nnklishAaA'a story of the Ora.
torical Surprise That Was Sprung
Upon Him ~ an American Banque,
at Which He Was = Quest.
ut had been pointed out to me moro
than once" said the visiting Englishman
that one difference between Englishmer
and Americans was that Englishmen, as
a rule, are good conversationalists and
Americans good speakers, but the fact
was only fully impressed upon me at ,
dinner attended some time ago. 1t was
large public dinner Of the SIS u plate
variety. There were all sorts Of big men
and famous after dinner speakers pres
ent. My seat was between small man,
who was entirely occupied with his
friends on his right, and large fat man
on my left. Az neighbor at dinner the
latter did not appeal to NE. He kept a
tribe too much Of his face submerged in
his plate for strictly good form.
But you know the expansive feeling
that noble dinner with good music gen.
crates in one. We'd scarcely finished soup
when some trifing thing occurred that
suggested what seemed to me such Il
very clever bit Of comment that was
obliged to share it with some one. turn
ed to my right hand neighbor, but his
neishbor was claiming all Of his atten-
ton. Then l turned to my left The
large fat man was finishing his bread
stick and gazing anxiously at the walters
who. were beginning to bring in the fish,
He didn't strike one as a promising sub
ject, but it was he or nothing, 50 leaned
over and let him have my clever bit Of
comment. He withdrew his eyes from the
incoming walters long enough to give me
vacant stare and mutter 'Aw-yes,' and
plunged Immediately into the turbot
which was set before him.
81 don't scatter any more pearls be-
fore that said to myself But little
later, just as the entrees were coming in,
had another happy idea. This one was
gem-as superior to my first as rubies
to rhinestones. looked about me In de-
spair. My right hand neighbor was try
ing to talk to man four seats above
him. He was out Of the question. I
tried to 60 on with my dinner, hut 1t
wouldn't do. I felt like the poets dark,
unfathomed cave of ocean. glanced to-
ward my left. The fat man was oblivious
and moist with labor.
"'No NATTER said, this would awak-
en- the soul of a chimpanzee.' And watch
ing my opportunity gave him my de-
lightful idea straight between the eyes.
He looked at me this time as though 1
had awakened him from sound sleep.
'Aw--og-g-- - dessay' he mum
bled uneasily and went back to his plate
like an arrow to its mark.
II tried to pay strict attention to my
dinner from then on, but I've never been
able to understand what was the matter
with me that night. 1t was just as they
were bringing in the nesselrode pudding.
1t wasn't an idea, ii was an Inspiration
one of those things that come to Il man
once in lifetime and make him famous
IL he happens to have parliament or Il
mass meeting handy. There was no
struggling with it. 1t was case of find
chair and shouting it to the crowd. I
turned and addressed my right hand
neighbor, but he was laughing so hard at
something that had been said that he
didn't even hear. Then turned to my
left. He had opened his waistcoat.
Nevertheless said, he is human
being And the next moment had lean
ed over and graspcd his arm, and my in
spiration was flashing out before him like
the seven Pleiades. You'd have thought
the beggar feared personal violence. All
he said was, 'Mm-m-yes. no doubt in
a worried tone and returned to his second
plate Of pudding.
"'Where else on earth outside of this
blasted country said to myself MS soon
as had stopped shuddering. would any
one run the risk of being put alongside
that kind of an animal at respectable
public dinner? 1t was perfectly plain to
me now. He had two stomachs instead
of soul wondered how he had got in
and whether he'd snore loud enough to
disturb the speakers when the cigars
were lighted.
II wasn't myself again until after the
after dinner speaking was well under
way. But those speeches were not to be
resisted. They were the kind of after din
ner speeches that aren't heard anywhere
else in the world-eloquent, poetic, witty,
graceful.
FINALLY. after half a dozen, the toast
master rose with the bubbing demennor
Of man who has something extra felc-
tOus up his sleeve. lie was going to call
upon a gentleman who needed no intro
ducton before such an audience and on
such an occasion, one under the spell of
whose voice most Of us had allowed our
cigars to go out on numerous occasions
before. 1t gave him profound pleasure to
introduce
just then the beast at my left moved
his chair. and | missed the name. but
there was a roar from the bes. | turn
ed in my scat. Great Jupiter. The fat
man was wiping his mouth and getting
up on his feet. They will throw the fool
out said. But they didn't. There was
another roar from the tables; then a
great stiffness.
Gentlemen. said my revolving friend,
buttoning up his waistc0at askpw. With
his first sentence he gathered the 300 of
us together and for ten minutes held us in
the hollow of his hand. For ten minutes
we swung between laughter and the
verge Of tears. between holding our
breaths at visions and vowing to live and
die better citizens. 1t was the most won
lerful after dinner speech ever heard,
Or ever hope or want to hear. And in
that speech. only embellishcd and trans
formed out. of all scmbance to their orig
nal selves, were the three clever things
had fred ut him during the course Of
he dinner."-New York Sun.
Della htful Metaphors.