The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-01-07

Once upon a time not so very long
ago there stood a wonderful structure
made of salt IN the vicinity of Ninth
South and Main streets; now it shows
unmistakable evidences of being wear
led Of standing, and would fain lie down
to rest in the vast financial grave that
cruel fate has dug for it. But before
| 1t dons its halo of Immortality it is
! making a frantic effort to follow the
! tide of Improvement, to substitute the
less for the more and become a Salt
/ less Palace.
The main admission gates are still
/ open and 25 cents is exacted by the
management for the privilege of gaz-
ing on a sOrr0wful scene of departed
grandeur surrounded by powerful pas
sivity and seas Of mud. TIE individual
IN charge Of this picture Of concen-
/ trated loneliness explained yesterday
| that the tribute was regulated by Gus
tom in foreign countries; that it cost
money to see the ruins of the palace
of the Caesars and the Coliseum in
Rome, and what went there, went here
in Salt Lake.
A List TO Starboard.
/ The structure has a suspicious list to
! starboard, caused by the buffeting of
| the winter storms, and the pillows Of
! financial adversely that have been surg
/ ing against its exterior since it was
launched on the turbulent ocean of
sure-thing propositions last August
( The seantily clad goddess of liberty is
stiil perched upon the apex of the por-
/ tico and looks defiance at the elements
/ While a streak Of SCOT decOrates her
/ scornful nose, and briny tears roll
down her weather beaten cheeks
! The columns of salt that support the
/ pOrticO are Smelling their summer
/ coats, and the tuppenny nails that erst-
while buttOned the coats 10 the skele-
/ ton frames are weeping generous
| streams Of iron rust that blend arts
tlcally with the products Of soft coal
! combustion deposited in the crevices
/ wherein there was once a gOOdly sup
/ ply Of mortar.
Stalactites Take Tumble.
/ The iridescent staIactites that former
/ iy transformed the interior of the por-
/ ticO into an enchanting grottO have
/ parted company with the ceiling, and
/ are now reveling in the joyousnesS that
/ accrues to stalagmites disintegrated
/ ana shattered by the Unsuitable tooth
/ OF time and piled in heaps Of uninvit-
! ing rubbish on the steps and floor of
/ the main entrance
The ferce-lo0king eagles over the
! columns are mOulting their salty fe2th-
era and gorgeous plumage, and their
/ eyriea Of sodium chloride are looking
1 lOngingly AT the remnants of mortar
| ana stalactiteS that have become wOr-
/ shipers at the shrine presided over by
/ the force Of gravity. the tatteTed ban
ners and flags that were wont to ffut-
/ ter in the steam heated breezes of
/ summer have slid half way down the
| Poles and turned soInersaults, are now
! signals Of dire distress. and OCCUPY
/ themselves in the pastime of invoking
assistance from the street cars that
pass the entrance about once every two
| hours.
Interior Is Uninviting.
The interior is cold and uninviting.
and in numerous places the theory Of
/ the affinity Of salt for wood has been
/ exploded. The dome is still intact, and
| thus far has resisted the opportunities
! Of rain and melting snow to gain an
Z entrance. The grand aggregation Of
4 western states is still separated by di-
vision lines, but by and by the water
will come along, the lines viii be ef-
/ faced as effectively as MasOn's and
/ Dixon's, and there VIII be q sure enough
/ union forever. one and indissOluble.
/ There is a blackboard On which is in
ecribed the legend: ''Vote for the most
/ beautiful woman in Utah; 10 cents"
/ Echoes of the dim past fit like ghostly
/ apparitions through vast space, and tell
! the tale Of woe, fisticUffs and temper
! that followed in the wake of the most
{ beautiful decision ever rendered in
/ Utah.
Outdoors the Midway is Respondent
/ in colors that have proved to be fast:
the entrance to the Streets of Cairo
has a tinge of local color that makes
the fellow in charge think that life may
/ be worth living after all. A sea OF
empty seats is a cheerful adjunct to the
! bicycle coliseum, and some of the
boards that once did duty as part of
the track have concluded that it is
about time to turn up their toes; it
| looks like the models in a college de-
scriptive geometry museum.