The Washington weekly post., 1900-03-20
Mr.. B0wseR's TRIBuIaTIoss.
~ Was Bed-teaa aud Bsress Which
Spoiled a Uappy Evening.

the things moved out Of the spare bed
room and the carpet taken Up"
That's fair specimen OF your eco
nomieal way of doing things" answers
Mr.. BowHer. There's about ten minutes
work 20 be done and yet you'd pay
man SO or 81 instead Of asking me-
You ought 10 get a man for 81, and To-
last time you took down a bedstea,
you--"
The idea of paying out enough money
! 20 buy two tons OF coal for ten min
Utes. work. be interrupted. When
sit down and think over your reckIea.
/ extravaganza. I Wonder that we have 2
I collar i1 the bank What Is IL 10 tax.
down bedsJead. 10 yank a bureau out
into the hail. TO rip up a carpet ~
hsve The room empty in fve minutes"
But | thought I'D have the bureau
brought down stairs
Wei. that may take two minute,
longer"
And you know the bedstead is big and
sold and once when you started to take
: IL down you"
! know nothing about Il II ever
/ started in 10 take il down. then down i,
: came. don't propose 20 pay on. my
I fard earned money for somebody TO come
/ up here and loaf around. II is now ax.
/ actly { O'Clock. IT. five minutes the room,
/ VII b. empty. and one minute later I
/ VIII b back here again.
il pay man out Of nv own pln
I money, protested Mrs. Bowsp-.
NouH pay nothing" he replied. As he
started upstairs, followed by the family
ca.
NO preparations had been made for re-
noVal. Mr.. BOwser entered the bedroom
10 mo the bed undisturbed. but with on.
vide sweep Of his arm ne gathered ur.
Diahke's, sheets and pillows. and carried
| tnem down the hall. Then he returned and
gave the mattress a twist and a vghirl
"Alch Hoped 1t off the bed and out Of
me door and the springs came next. Mr..
boWser Was working on ragtime. No
man can PICK up set OF bed springs 70
the ume Of Yankee Doodle" The cat
saw the impending calamity, and leaned
10 the top Of the bureau. As ..ir. Rowszr
ledNed up the springs and gave them a
Douhce ne lost MS balance and went down
Win crash, and. having nowhere else 10
go, the springs followed him He u,se
hghting them off with hands ard feet
when Mrs. Bowser looked in Al the door
and exclaimed:
Thank heaven, that the life has not
been crusne- out Of yOn,'
Crushed be hangedrr he YELLED az ba
got rid Of tne springs, and stood m "If
You Imagine I'm the sort Of man 10 be
crushed under blamed old set of bed
springs YOU dOast 1Ow me"'
! knew you'd have trouble. and thai
was the reason ! wanted you-"
There's no trouble about it. The durn-
ed car trlpped me up. I'm big enough and
0id enough 10 boss this Job. and Won get
rig"t back downstairs and attend TO vour
knit-ng."
mere are two ways of taking down A
mahogany bedstead weighing a ton or
Two. Mr.. Bowser's way was peculiarly
ms own. His first move was TO grab the
foOtbcard and wrench and twist and draw
the whole bed across the room and pusb
It back again. Then he stood off and
kicked at the rails until the heels few off
his slippers. II was sudden inspiration
which caused him 10 lift up on the ends Of
the rails. and to his great surprise they
were lOosened from the head and foot
boards. The foOtboard he MANAGED 10
move down the hall without accident. but
when he came 10 the headboard. which
had been brought over in the Mayfiower
10 ballast thee ship. he realized that a
desperate struggle was at hand. So did
the cat, and in her wisdom she retreated
TO the hall to await events.
why in thunder my eat-grandfather
didn't use this lumber to build a horse
barn is more'n l can make Outr' growled
Mr.. Bowser as he surveyed the massive
structure and waited for his second wind.
Ii had to be moved, however, and there
was no time to call up the Coast Wreck
lNgV,
power. Mrs. Bowser crept up and sat on
the stairs and shivered. and the cat
walked to and fro in the hall and had nerv-
Gus tremOrs, while Mr.. Bowser moistened
his hands and looked furtively about for a
point of advantage. Suddenly he jumped
forward and made an attack His object
was to take the bedstead by surprise and
run it down the hall before it could make !
a move in defense. He succeeded to a
degree-that is. he got the cumbersome
mass clear of the wall and on the move
for the door. and Mrs. Bowser was be |
10 breathe easier, and the cat |
feeling more hopeful when there was a |
yell of terror and a crash which shook
things clear down TO the cellar bottom. !
The headbOard had bucked. Mr.. Bowser !
thought the whole east side of New York !
was leaning over him for a moment, and |
the jump he made as he yelled out ought |
to be preserved in the history Of ath.et- |
les. He struck his head against the wall |
with bump which made him see stars, |
but he had saved his life.
Il knew it," said Mrs. Bowser. as she /
looked into the room and saw the head 1
board fiat on the floor and Mr.. Bowser 1
Wiping the dampness off his bald head
Has anybody asked for your opinion?"
he replied, as he tried TO assume a care
less air.
II thought you were surely killed. l |
hope you will now let the rest of it go
and send up a man. You see. you don't /
know how"
"Oh. | don't. eh? But I'll show you
hat / do. I'll clear this furniture out if
| break both legs and drive my head
through the wall
Mrs. Bowser went back TO her seat on
he stairs, and after lifting her eyes in
appeal the cat got as far down the hall
IS she could. II was Mr.. BOwser's plan
o lull the headboard into d feeling Of Sc
,urity by giving il 4 brief rest while he
aCkled the bureau. To get the bureau
,ut he must move ii over the headboard |
He had no statistics at hand 10 consult
luI he had great confidence i'm his lift
ng powers. Mrs. Bowser heard him sud
ienly rush upon that bureau and haul it |
way from the wall. Then she heard him
;dsping and grunting as he lifted al the !
.Orners. She followed him with her ears
Is he walked around behind il and put |
lis shoulder TO the wheel and got a brace |
or his feet There was a louder grunt.
nuttered. Cit up there. durn your and
hen the house was shaken again Mr.
3OWseT had heaved UP. and the bureau
lad heaved down, and the loss of his toe
iold at a critical moment had given the
bureau the victory. He lay there under
|, and he seemed TO be dead. The cook
vas summoned through the speaking
ube. and by their united eXertions the
wo women lifted the bureau and rolled
he unconscious form of Mr.. RoWsar
side. IL wasn't case of death. He aad
imply been squeezed as fiat as a nan
axe and had mis- bones twisted ato,It
Irs. Bowser had scarcely taken his head
n her lap ana moistened his nose win
amphor when he opened his eyes and
at up.
..NNhn 40 vfr1H.I -. I