The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-25

OveriS1ght-W nat are you LOOKING ~
glum about, Borus The reviewers all
praised your last book, didn't they?"
Yes, but not one of them said 1t was
story of intense human interest. Chi
cago Tribune.
A Masterpiece ''Confidentially,' said
the statesman,.I wrote that plank in the
platform i congratulate you,' said his
times, and I'm blest if it commits the
party to anything!"-Puck.
A Double Blow.-'sYes, we had quite e
blowout at our house early this morn
| ing" Peculiar time for it, Yes The
new hired girl blew out the gas in the
| gas-stove, and the gas blew out the side
of the kitchen. cleveland Plain Dea-
Ter.
Some women defy. while others defy
fashion, the former having an r Tor
that sort of thing.-Detroit Journal.
ssThey say Miss Singleton is q transmit
grationist.'s .sYesl She thinks she must
| once have been the wicked flea whom no
man pursueth!"-Life-
MY mother-in-law has gone to the
mountains" You look pleased Yes;
she'll have to admit she has found
something that she can't walk over.
Indianapolis Journal
Fair Painter-sI hope you don't mind
my sketching in your field?" Farmer
Lord, no, missiel You keep the birds off
the peas better'n a ordinary scarecroW-"
Tit-Bits.
Crater must have turned over a new
leaf. Hetells me he's working night and
day. Yes. that's the firm he's with
now ''What?" Knight & Day
Philadelphia Press
Rank nfdelity-Divorce Lawyer
You say you want to sue your husband
for divorce on the ground of infidel1ty!
Wolnan-s'Yais, sab. De misabul infidul
say he doan' believe de whale evan swal-
Tered Jonah, or de animals went into de
ark, or muffin. Judge
At dvantage.-'David was a
fighter said the professional pugil-
list. but he had some hard luck. on on
mean the David who slew Goliath?'
Yes. He could have made mint O.
money out O. that fight if moving pic
lures had only been invented then. >
Washington Star.
Preparatory.-Eth don't
you think women should know how to
cock SO that they may be able to look
they rnarry?'' Misunderstanding,
DEAR Ethel-"Mayn't I go to the litch-
en- then and practice making butter
scotch ?''-Broollyn Life
Higgins I've come to you for advice.
What ought a man of my capabilities
ana OPPORTUNITIES TO 90 IN OrQer TO
achieve the greatest success in life?''
Quincy, 1 wish you had come to me
with that question about five years ago.
1 could have told you all about it then.
/ was just out of college. ''-Chicago Tri-
bune-
First Attendant at the Restaurant
That's a funny looking duffer that Just
came in" Second Ditto-"Y es ;all things
come to those who wait. Boston
Transcript.
Indisputable.-"I tell you the Weekly
Banner is dead right on the Chinese sit
we ought to send?'' Says we need an
adequate force. Puck
More Information.-TOmm Say,
paw" Mr.. Figg-''Well?" What is a
Hopper" "A topper, my son, is man
that leaves his party because he cannot
take it with him. ''-Indianapolis Press.
Most children" said the old school
stamps. .fndeed? u said ii1 his p frieng
Yes; they have to be licked to make
them stick to their letters Philadel-
phia Record.
ST speak for the Solid South cried
the Democratic orator. "On election day
Bryan viii have all the whites with me-
And the next day." cried voice in the
crowd, The will have the blues.'-Phila- |
delphia Press.
Surprising fnformation-Old Lady |
epolntlng to elevated railroad)-'Where |
do them cars go top City Man (hur- |
riedly)- Almost anywhere you want, |
ma'am." Old Lady-sLand sakesI / |
thought they had to stay on the rails |
New York Weekly.
The Golf Fever.-s-So you can't play |
with me on the 2Oth?'' said one young |
golfing man to another over the tele- |
nl0nR 7 q
old man. But, I say, leave it open for |
a couple of days. Between you and me,
1 have an appointment to be married
on that date, but she may be willing to /
round with you ''-Tit-Bits-
period?'' oh, no; she never punctu-
ates with anything but dashes Phil
Bulletin.
Charitable Old Lady-..Porr woman!
And are you widow?" Beggar-
Worse than a widow, ma'am. Me
husbands living, an 1 have to support
him. Glasgow Evening Times
Much Needed.-First Crit thought
that young man was going to he here
two weeks Second Girl-~Ohs he's
over Sunday to get a little st''-Har-
per's Bazaar.
80 10y <1@d1L- Edpds Sd1Q uIlle |
Willie Askitt- well, my son?H In
the days of kings, and knights, and
MOBILES did they have to put postage
stamps on their shirts of mail ?"ABaiti-
more American.
Too Much.-Poetic Son.-aAhl father.
poets are born, not made Father
here. youi Write all
thet dern rot We want. but don't 90
olamin' mother m me fer it. We won't
stand Stl''-Puck
The Unusual-'C1ose the doors of tn
alright bulkheadsi'' shouted the can
ain, for the ship was sinking. A mol
nent later a sailor, ashen pale, with