The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-09-02

&c at night: that makes thin wurruk. some
mems domestic throubles dhrives thin 10
shrink. others to labor. We Tread about a
man becomin a millyonaire an ye think
he done IL be his own exertions whin lis
much again little twas tn fear Nv comm
home Imply handed an dislike ~ stayin'
ar-round tn house all day that made him
rich. Misther Standard lie takes In millyons
in a year but he might be piayin' dominoes
in an milne house If il wasn't fr Mrs.
Standard lie. IT'S tn thought Nv that dear
quite lady at home, in her white cap with
her ca m motherly face. waitin patiently
rr him with a beii-punch that injooces him
TO put a shtick Nv dinnymite in somebody
else's lie well an bury his securities whn
III ASSESSOR comes ar-round. Near livery
mans property ought to. be in wife's name
an most Nv IL is.
But with a bachelor It's different. Ys
an I ARE settin' here together, an Clancy
dhrops in. Clancy's wife's away. an he's
out FIR good time, an he comes TO me fr
II. A bachelors fr tn enjyment Nv his
marrid frinds' vacations. When Clancys
wife's at home an go 10 see him he r-runs
tn pail out in a valise, an we take our
criminal dhrink in tn woodshed. Wei, tn
three Nv US sits here an pass tn dhrink an
sing our songs iv glee till about iliven
o'clock. then We begin to look over ye'er
shoulder ivry time we hears a womans
voice. an finally yet get up an yawn an
dhrink ivrything on tn table an gallop
home. Clancy an 1 raysume our argument
on tn Chinese siryation, an afterwards
we carol together. me singin' tn chune an
him doin' razor-edge tenor Thin he tells
me how much he cares FIR me. an proposes
to rassle me an weeps 10 think how bad ne
threats his wife an begs me niver TO mar
~, FIR a bachelors life's tn ony wan. an
it's past o'clock whin 1 hook him on a
frindly polisman an sind him thrippin'-
tn polisman-down tn sthreet. All fright
so far But in tn mornin' another story
II Clancy gets home an finds his wife's
rayturned firm tn seaside or tn stock
yards. or WHEREVER it's she's spint her va
cation. they'se no r-rest FIR him in tn
mornin'. His head may sound I'm his ears
like AUTOMOBILE, an tn look iv an egg
may make his knees thremble but he's got
to be off to tn blacksmith shop. an hivin
help his helper that mornin'. So Clancy's
gettin' r-rich an putin a coopoly on his
house.
but with me It's diff'rent. When Phib-
bius Apollo, as Hogan calls tn sun. raises
his head above tn gashouse. I'm cuddled
up In me couch. an Morpheus, Gawd iv
sleep, has sthrangle holt on me. TIL
alarm clock begins 10 go off. an I've just
strength enough TO raise up an fire IL
through tn window. Two hours afther-
ward have CLEAN Nv human intillygince
an hook me watch out firm under the pill
low. It's o'clock says /. But is IL in
tn mornin' or in tn evenin'? says l.
Faith, I dinnaw, an divvle a bit care 1.
Fights on'y a number says l. 1t ripri-
sints nawthin',' says 1. 'They'se hours
enough in tn day FIR free man. I'll turn
over an sleep till eight-wan, an thin I'll
| wake up refreshed. / says. IT'S iliven
o'clock whin me tired lids part FIR good.
an Casey has been here to pay me s., an
findin' me not up has gone away fr an
other year.
"A marrid man gets tn money, Hinnissy.
but bachelor man gets tn sleep whin
all me marrid frinds is off to wurruk
poundin' tn ongrateful sand an wheelin'
tn rebellyous Stag in tn heat iv tn afther-
noon. We can see yeer onfortchnit bachelor
frind perambulatin' up an down tn shady
side iv tn sthreet, with an umbrelly over
his head an wurrid iv cheer firm young
an old to enliven his lonliness"
But the childher?" asked Mr. Hennessy.
slyly
"Childer" said Mr.. Dooley. Sure have
tn finest family in tn city. without scan
dial I'm tn father iv ivry child in Ar-rchey
r-road. firm end to end"
An none Nv ye'er own" said Mr. Hen
messy.
L wish. Hinnissy,' said Mr.. Dooley, saw.
ageiy' "ye'd not lean against that mirror
don't want to have to tell ye again"