The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-09-02

the other day one OF TIE StOlentSs VINO
was by no means a dullard, was asked
by the professor, How much is dose
Of" giving the technical name Of a
strong poison.
"A tsaspoonful." was the ready reply.
The professor made no comment but
the student. a quarter of an hour later.
realized that he had made a mistake.
and straightway said:
Professor, / want 10 change my n
swer to that question"
It's TOO late, sir" responded the pro-
fessor. CURLY, looking at his watch,
your patient has been dead fourteen
minutes"
Mg a8
The unmusical member Of a musical
family will appreciate the following con-
versation:
DO you play any instrument, Mr..
Jimp?"
Yes: I'm a cornetist."
And your sister,
She's a pianist"
Does you mother playT'
She's a ztherist'
And your father?"
Hes a pessiTnist.'
x x z
A. T. Packard. now OF Chicago, was
editor of the Bad Lands Cowboy when
Roosevelt was ranching up on the Little
Missouri, and has many pleasant recol-
lections of those days. Said he:
NOTHING amused the cowbo more
than RooseveIt's choice Of words ana
manner OF speech. He was the purist
in language and at first was unable to
tackle the cow-punch-er's slang. While
driving the first bunch of cattle TO his
Chimney Butte ranch. a number OF
them started up a eoulee. An expert
enced foreman would have shouted
Get a git on you here, and head them
steers or Hit the high places and turn
EN- Roosevelts order, while equally
sharp nearly paralyzed the flying cow
puncher II mas been treasured and told
and retold wherever two or more COW
punchers have gathered together. Stand
ing in his stirrups. he opened his steel
tran mouth. and yelled: Hasten quickly
forward yonder' The wonder was IT
didn't stampede the herd"
x Y z x
Here is a good story. which I would
have said was a clever invention hal
the Bishop Of London not given MS word
for its genuineness. a little kast-bnd
girl was being examined upon the cues
ton of the ProdigaI Son. he said. The
teacher had got as far as the repent
ance of the prodigal and his eating Of
the swine husks. when she INQUIRED.
what else could he have doneT' The
child replied: He could have pawn
MS little girls boots"
4 u x
A golf enthusiast buttonholed Governor
Roosevelt recently and insisted upon MS
listening 10 q long explosion OF the VII
tines OF the game. There is one good
point about the game which you have
forgotten to mention said the cover
nor, finally. Whats THAR asked ms
parsecutor. zone doesn't have - play 70
if one doesn't want to was the re-
tort. And the bore was sQuelched-
Rsz s
Charles Hemstreet, whose hooks ard
Corners Of Old New York has lately =
tracted attention "a an historical wcrK
written on new lines, met with some odd
experiences while he was collecting ma
terial for his book one day during MS
rambles through the byways he came %
the head Of Coenties Slip where once
stood the Stadt Hugs, the first city "a
Of the New Netherlands. 4 memorial
tablet hid been placed on The building
which occupied the site, but AZ this TN
the house was being remodeled. and the
tablet. a brass slab two feet square hal
been removed. Mr.. Hemstreet who re-
CARDS such things a. memorial tablets
this one was being properly cared for.
after half an hour OF search he found
the precious tablet IN the gutter under
A mass II brick Then hs s0ggat the
foreman Of the workers.
see here" he sad. pointing 70 the
tablet. what IL that doing taers7
The foreman answered quietly: WAY.
its holding ~ them bricks. - tht water
can run through the gutter
err
sezrcher exclaimed.
vandalism. vandalism DO you knox
what ancien; building once zt0ad Il fhis
sure" replied the foreman. "a "a
loon"
a saloon7 why. mar. two nunhfes
years ago the staSt ffgyF ffooi sis
T-aat BRASS tablet e. IA Ok watch alr'ss
the present Win fAe past Thsi fHs'st ?
preserved taat must - treaties 80 ifa-
say interrupted iae fsrmsn ta .
yoa own this ere 1osRs ae're ~ ilA
No. exclaimed fns historian. est
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