The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-11-09
SPINNING WHEEL.

TIL -,-\S!TlVE KETTLE

Il Gor't fee! wc,I,' ,h., Kettle sighed.
The POT responded. "Eh:
Then do%h'ie>S that's the reason, MARIN,
YOU do hot sing today.
"Ert what's amiSS:" The Kettle Sc,:.
"WhH. SIR. you're surely bind,
or You Il have noticed that the COOS
Is shockin%ly unkinG.
Il watched her make cake just Eow-
II | Il pair of legs
Ia run away: Oh dear; on dear
How she did beat the eggs.
Nor was that a'-lemember, please,
"tn ! ten to
nor With my own two eyes / saw
1-er s>one The l.ilSln>, 80!
g w. ""''Ar IA dre"1fv' sight,
felt inclined to scream!-
A. ''t, r't ,u'- 'o,k cork
And Soundly whipped the cream:
! 40" can you Wolte: that my nerves
Have rather civ en- way:
All ''"' :h I'm s, the 1.oiljng pojn..
| cannot sing tcday.' Felix Leigh
ZONE OF the funniest things ina. ever
! happened 10 me-" sad the Old magician,
VIII" was IN reminiscent l.iuo!. 'n>:-
! cUiitd Il nlmfr- o. years a%J V;::.> |
Was making 4 tc:l" OF t!le cn:!l..'". At
that time my favorte card Was N hex
trek, where | allowed myself 10 he r,:
! in Il sack. ate" which wa< ln:kt.! in 4
! box. which was tie, -. ::nl pat III ;ilr
cabinet. from wil:> :: emerged Il No.
ment later. howing and SMii ng. l. al
| ways drought down the house. AJAX! was il
subject for discussion long after I lad
le:s
"Ntll, I gave NY rc:for,naH: n:le
! night a. 4 S!ll;iN tuwn. ami aftr: TIE show
was o:rr ! went 70 the httlr hn:r, and
retired for tn" night. the Cd ma:i who
kcr: the hotel showing me Z my :rrln
! to 4 king. The led ii: ne Room Il
folding one. and no sooner Was | IL :han
Il closed UP like jat k-knife. Forum
atcly for me, | realized what was hap
PENN" in time to roll 10 che side, 50
that when the bed closed it left my head
out. But otherwise was rowerles<. and
there Was nothing 10 do but yell for hep
which | did t. the best of my ability.
Finally | succeeded in making the land
lord hear me. and ne came to the door
and wanted to know what the matter
| was.
.'This cuSsed bed has shut up and
caught me in it" ! shouted.
"'Wul, why don't you git out:' he
drawled.
IL can't" bawled
'Humph, a Teller what kin git out Of a
sack after he has been put in a box and
a he'd he answered.
1T took fifteen minutes steady argu-
ment on my part to convince the old man
that my skill in getting out Of difficult
places did not include folding beds, and
even then he seemed to think |. had
caused him lot Of unnecessary trouble;
'All he said whe nat last he relea sed
me was:
thought t ye w Hn ED S f Free rre*s.
-:O:-
One of the spellbinders Of the Fifth
Avenue hotel coined new political Joke
last week and lamentcd the fact that he
could make no use of it himself. Here 1t
What do they call John G. Woolley,
the Prohibition candidate for Presi-
dent?' asks Smith.
Il don't KNOW says Jones.
They call him cash register says
Smith.
cash register?" asks Jones, and Smith
promptly replies:
because John G. Woolley is the bar.
tenders worst enemy
The Spellbinder said that so far in the
campaign he had met no Woolley men
and therefore his little Joke had been Of
no use to hm.-New York Sun.
-:O-
There is pretty little story being tod
of how Private Brooking travelled home
in the luxury Of Pullman pillows, albeit
the powers who should have provided tor
the invalided soldiers proved themselves
very remisS in looking after his comfort
When he started westward from Que;
pee. Brooklng was nlagnanimOuSly pre-.
scented with $3 in money wherewith tc
buy his meals Oh the four or five days
overland trip-meals being Is cents each
and ;second-class ticket to the coast
to use which he was forced into the com,
pany of little party Ct Cinnamon in thu
cOlOniSt coast.
Rrooking had got out Of the unsavory
coloniSt car to stretch himself at Mon.
treal, and just about the same time big
bluff, jolly Harry Heln1cken had steppe,
to the platform from the handsome par
lor car EASTERN" The bronzed young
fellow III khaki at once claimed his atten
ton. and he shouted out:
Heb, there! on BOY in khaki! What
are YOU doing IN the second class with q
lot Of Chinamen"'
"That's the way the ticket reads" sale
Rrooking, when Harry pressed for an an
swer.
1T does. sh ?'1,Harry was becoming
reads. there's no boy from the West that
fought at Iaardeberg going to trave
second class if we know anything about
it. Here you, porter, move the military
!
The porter promptly obeyed anl
Brooking came homeward with nothin@
too good for him.--Montreal Star
The teacher was trying to communi
cate to the Juvenile class al idea of faith
and to better illustrate it she held up ar
apple and said:
If l were to tell you there were II
seeds in this apple you would believe M
without further proof would you not?'
"Ies, ma am,' answered the class il
chorus
We'll. that is faith,' said the tea cher
The next day in order to test their rec
objection of the lesson, she asked:
''Who can tell me what faith is?''
%! cam" promptly answered a small
urchin. Its an apple what amt got NJ
seeds in.:-Chicago News.
The Duke Of Leeds has just been cele
brating his thir,y-ninth birthday a
Horribly castle, near Bedale, where h
generally lives with the duchess and hi
four little daughters when he is not OF
board the Corisande enjoying his favor
lite receation of yaching, relates a Londo1
correspondent. The present duke is
nephew of Lord Sydney Godolphin Os
borne, the famous cOrreSnOndpnt (undp