The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-11-28

"Then you have gone crazy! You are
out of Your mind. You know not what
You say"
Il am all right from head to heel, my
dear sir, and | can't understand your
agitation What's the matter with my
scheme for improving Napoleon's
nOSe?"
The minister rang his. bell With merry
GUS hand, and 4 minute later Birncy
was cut on the sidewalk with u flea in
his ear that is, he was told to take
himself of or he would be locked up as
an insane person. 1t was rather set
back for him. and II took him day or
two to get over it. but lie finally came
up smiling. II the minister would not
help him out. there We're other officials
who would He tried two or three of
them, with the result that he was
eventually hailed before the chief of
police That official probably sized him
up correctly. for he said 10 him;
You do not toalize what You are
doing. Don't you understand that you
can be sent 10 prison for this: You dc
not appear to hnNe lost your mind. and
you are no fool. and the best thing you
can do is to get out of Paris at once"
hut what is the crime" argued
Birney AN | have done Is To say
that can improve on the emperor $
nose. Can man be sent 10 prison In
France FOR that;'
He can sir, rs ! wish to make you
understand You must not talk this
way You have made trouble for your
self. and You had best get away rs
soon rs possible Should the emperor
himself hear of Nauf insulting words
YOU would be sent To sumc fortress for
live or ten Years
"Shoo, You don't say, Eut you
Frcnchmtn are queer people, Well.
don't want to leave Paris for few
days yet but I'll Keep still about Ma.
polcou's nose had no idea he was SO
teehy about it. Not another word from
me II that's the way things are"
The chief added another warning.
though lac saw the humor of the thing
and smiled behind his mash Birncy
might stay ca fer few days. but he
must keep that nose attachment Of his
in the background md his tongue be.
tween his teeth lie went out of the
police office meaning to To IT, but
scarcely u hours hHd pissed away
when he accidentally met u French
doctor who could speak English fairly
we'll rirucy was naturally asl.ed why
he had visited Paris. and Of course h,
told Of the bullet proof vest Having
got started. le couldn't stop there
Say, do You hHaH eaed rs the
emperor's nose In less Tim month";
ie remarked In hurst ei condolences
Yes. sill could Improve that smell
er of his at least 80 per cent in three OF
-four weeks and | wouldn't charge a
cent either
The clp.rur's nose aaspcd the
doctor hut what ails the empcror's
nose
out Of plumb sir aud no excuse for
IT. All want IS three weeks time.
Cant you get me an audience with
HIM"
The 3r>H! Why. man you are in.
sultihg th, emperor 4oH ought to lac
larted rp'
"oh, come now laughed itirncy in a
protesting way = never saw such
people before emit the enpcrors
nose lie out Of plumb rs well MS amy
Other laansT
The doctor left him without even n
cold bow and probably went to the
police rs lirney vas arrested an hour
later. According TO his story. he was
sent to prison without n trial and de-
tanned for II full year. Then he was
taken out one day and conveyed to the
war office and into the presence of Ma
polcon
"SIr" said the emperor after plarlng
at him for awhile, "is my nose out Of
plumb
1T is as plumb as a plumbct," was
the ready reply.
docs II need any HXIng OVER"
Not Il fix
And how is 1t with yoursf"
ITS out of joint your majesty but |
think | could follow It out Of France"
Then you may try"
And try he did and his nose led him
back 10 the land of the free without
any lingering on the road