The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1900-11-08
MAYOR M'ELFRrsH's CLOTHES.
Hardsntown's Chief Ex- Executive Becomos
Dude and Catches Fire.


Dude and Catches Fire.
"By gum, y ought ter seen tn may.
or" said Bill Harding, in the village
blacksmith shop at Hardontown, near
Lawrenceburg, Ind "He came back
from tn city yesterday a loolSin' like n
dod-gasted dude b gosh"
"Ye don't tellw exclaimed the black
smith, leaning on his bellows and let
ting the shoe for Bill'D mule fade from
rose color to black "Ye don't mean tor
say that Mayor McElfresh has been an
got another new suit O. olothes2"
That's, what, an she's a corker!" re-
marked Bill, splitting tobacco juice at
knothole close to the anvil.
"My jeeminyW quavered old Jed
Brown, who was sitting on a soap box
near tho forge EFF that ant three
new suits inside n year I'm switched.
The mayors q livin' putty fast boys;
reckon we'd better hev committee fer
TO look over his accounts"
"What kind Of suit is it, Bill2"
asked Sam Unkifer. "You said twas O
corker"
Kinder gray an yaller, with tails to
It," replied Bill ''lm dod-binged ef it
ant tn -. Why, here he comes
nowp
The twenty-four-inch wrought-iron
latch on the door was thrown noisily
up, and in stepped little man with
snappy black eyes and thin yellow
whiskers. He was clad in q light-col-
ored plaid suit OF wondrous figure and
workmanship There were creases in
the pants, and also in the eOat-creases
that came there naturally and not by
intention. The tails of the frock coat
stuck out in manner ut once stiff and
suggestive of newness.
"Mornin', boys" said tho little man,
moving toward the forge with an ex-
haustlve indifference to the glances
centcred upon his attire. mighty
frosty weather fur this time o year
pze out lookin' at my northern spys
Every dog-goned one of 'em fruz solid.
Blamed If ant kind o. chilly myself
The mayor warmed his fingers over
the forge, and his studied unconscious
ness of the examination no was under
going grew deeper.
Don't look like ye'd been abut in an
orehord, mayor" said Jed Brown, re-
moving his pipe from his mouth and
tapping 1t on his boot. Looks more
like ye'd ben abut a-mashin' tn gals"
This sally brought out very gen.
erous response from the admirers OF
the village humorlst- When the laugh
ter died away the mayor said, rather
stiffly; "Huhl Some people amt got
much TO think about Reckon l got
enough to tend to lookiu' after my
family"
This rather spoiled the effect of Jeds
sally. for 1t is notorious fact that
Jcd's family gets little looking after
from its paternal head.
The blacksmith relieved the awl1-
wardness of the situation Having
pumped away briskly to warm the
mayors fingers he discovered that he
had heated the shoe for Bills mule.
He pulled 1t, splitting and glowing,
from the fire, and hammered away
briskly. The major shrugged his
shoulders, backed up closer to the
forge, and said: ''Never noticed nothin
like tn way politics is stirred up in tn
city. Seen o few people there, an
what they told me jest knocked me
silly. Why, they say they're gona take
In all tn towns around Cincinnatty.'
aye don't sayl" responded Bill Hard
ing. well, that's an idea"
yep" responded the mayor, ''ar
-o
What he intended to say further can
not be stated. just as he got ready IL
pronounce another great truth San
Uncifer shouted: mayor, yer afrep
The blacksmith seized tho mayor by
the arm and turned him round. TIL,
:. whole rear Of his checkered person wa
J In flames
Gosh almighty, he'll burn up!" shril
ly shouted Jed Brown. The mayo
seemed utterly paralyzed by the mis-
hap. A dozen hands dragged him in
dozen different ways Bill Harding
mule even joined In the excitement.
'"Throw him down and smother |
J outw yelled some one. The unfortunate
l mayor was promptly dumped into al
t ash pile and rolled vigorously over an
! over While dust filled the low-ceil
: inged shop, but q tongue Of flame coul
, occasionally be distinguished about Oh
i mayors person. An occasional inartic
ulate sound also arose from the mayor
. but no one paid any attention to It
. "Get the tub" yelled some one. Fou
| muscular arms promptly seized th
: blacksmith's dip tub, and deluge c
A black freezing water was poured upo
the mayor. A yell followed.
3 "Dod CAST it all, you dod-gasted son
8 O guns" shouted the mayor, what d
8 you want to do, assassinate me2' Th
:, mayor got to his feet and looked q
:. dignifed as man could look in
t ready-made suit with tho tail burne
r off and the front elevation soaked wit
4 inky water.
n Say" said he, Us he strobe from tn
: shop, ''Th' next time you boys see m
k afire you let me burn to death"
8 Jed Brown broke the silence whic
{ followed the mayors departure
t II seen thet there coat tail ketc
t fire." said he, but didn't feel calle
y on to say nothin' when the mayor wa
:, SO blame peart about thet little joke
8 mine. Cincinnati Enquirer.
"a Lyman Gage, after firing NEE
r ing, had just gone off to bed, and We
IL 10 his first sleep when he heard lou
knocking at his door, and voic
called out; Il am gathering the opil