West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1900-06-07

''"'" sohS'hihB whilc travelling. IL you
travel any more would advise you TO awake
out of your doze. Hold up your head.
elevate the the only faculy you have, which
is self esteem, and then you will see some
thing. know | am sinful but I sincerely
hope ! am no worse than yourself. II |
could realize that was would not dwell
on this side of the asylum
Grudge- You stated in your last letter
that had not been at church or Sunday
school, and It is a lie
Salamander--l said the small boys said
so and they say yet that you went three
times TO church Immediately after wrote,
because you heard that you were censured,
and as far as know that was the first.
Grndge-When you get me done up you
will be far better specimen than now.
Misunderstanding SO; but feel
ashamed now because my mother always
told me that 1t was bad policy to fool with
an ignoramus or cripple and you 6ll the
bill.
GIudge-When you struck me YOU struck
the wrong passenger and am not as easily
done mp as you think
Saamander-No not quite so easy. be.
cause the smaller the package the more EN-.
barrassing it is to handle. Jewellers are
compelled to have very fine eyeglasses TO
see some of the parts of some watches but
II would take very fine instrument to detect
any traces Of logic IN your productions.
would he glad If you would write something
OF some intelligence If you do not soon
| produce something worth commenting M on
| will hire the Rev Syberts TO answer your
letters. You vince like an old jade, and
would like to let go, but you arc so vexed
over your utter failures, and you are con.
vnced that You are wrong, and as the mat.
ter stands you seem to be trying to make
complete donkey of yourself But beware.
the half has never been told, and your
attempts to mislcad are as false as your un-
profitable life. You are a dead match for
old Mr.. Bowser Of THg ARGUS II you do
not soon cease we will send you TO the mad
house. You seem TO abhor anyone that has
any brains Give us prayer some day for
those who despitefully use you. II you are
as good as you say you are, you might pray
for rain as we need rain very badly.
Now arise. sleepy shepherd,
Tell your henchmen TO fee,
And make straight for the mountain
That IS near the Dead Sea.
Take your "boomarang'' with you
u is no use 10 halt,
II your wife does look backward
And is turned into salt.
Let cold Harry of Hayden"
Go along with your band,
lie can talk in s-meetings.
lie can grasp with. the hand.
lie Is full Of vain fsneies
Yet his works are in doalt,
But he thinks all religion
Is eXhumcd from the snour.
Like old lot you imagine
That Gomouah must fall
But where Others have brains
You only have gall.
You can then pick companions,
For u's certain and true
You must do al the picking.
For no ono will pick you.
You'll be free from all reptiles.
From those Gargc Jumps Of SIM"
And the christian % horse traders
Can again take you in.
When you get Mister Harry
To The top of the hill
Tie can issue provisions
To the poor, u hc will.
Harry too, was n preacher.
Whom wc viii no; expose.
Since the people an know him
Everywhere that he goes.
When you dwell in The mountain
That o'cr shadows thc plains.
You can start new racc
tIikc yomsclfJ without brains.
You may say ! am sinful
And OF course &c is true.
May the Lord look m pity
When im half as false as yor.
bot why cast pearls 90 pigmcs.
Ict them have milk OF sFIl.
For Che fool that's convinced
IIas the same fancy sdll
SAIAWANuER
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. ~ - ~ @ ETA.
Bears tbs II ihe knd Y,l lae lNaE Bcggh