davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
Humanity In TURKEYS,

"There's good deal Of human nature
in a turkey" said a farmer. ''The 9TH
er day while was settin IN the barn
door one Of my turkeys come yerkin
along and peekin right and left and
finally spicd rag on the ground that
every turkey had been travelin over for
a week. Turkey picked 1t up and Slated
1t out. That minute every turkey In
the yard started for him. lie run. II
evidently struck him all OF a sudden
that he had got hold Of suthin that was
mighty valuable. He run. and he
lodged, and he ducked, and he run
some more. Every few minutes some
one Of them turkeys would get him by
the wattles or else by the rag, and
there would be tug OF war. And at
last another turkey got the rag away.
and then there was another chase.
Guess them darn fool turkeys would
have been runnin the fat off them-
selves the next day II hadn't set tho
dog on 'em.
That's just the way with a turkey.
Let any other one In the flock get hold
Of suthin. and every one oe the blamed
fools will start for him or her and run
till they fairly drop.
And, as have said, there Is a good
deal OF human nature right thcre."-
Lewiston Journal.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
The ClaQueurs.

The work Of the "claqueurs" Is not,
rs will be readily seen. intellectually
of n very high order. The chief Is sup
posed to have taken voluminous notes
at the rehearsals Of the play they are
seeing performed, to have consulted
with the manager, to have chatted
with the authOr--in short. to have
made a close study Of the entire work
on which his brigade" Is to be en-
gagged. He Is the spring Of the claque.
The men under his orders, scattered
here and there under the chandelier
are merely parts of the machinery, and
they would no more think Of applaud.
Ing on their own account than they
would think Of flying.
Once upon time there was n daring
claQueur who did not wait for the sig
nal, but his short connection with the
profession--he was Immediately reliev.
ed Of his fauteul for breach Of dlSci.
pllne,-hardly entities him to the honor
of mention In the same company with
eminent claqueurs. The part he ap-
plauded happened to be the only good
scene in the whole play. His sense Of
art, unfortunately, was stronger than
his idea OF duty. Seized with uncon-
trollablc enthusiasm, he the only man
OF taste among the claque, made the
house ring with applause. He Is now
one OF the most eminent dramatic crit
les In Paris-Wide Wide World.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
TAURM0N Frederick County, Maryland Thursday October L. 1900
An American Dinner Party.

Here is Clement Scott's picture Of an
American dinner party: You are no
sooner uslered into the reception room
than you feel ut home in half a second.
Conversation Is general and animated.
Your hostess is genial, gracious aud an
artist in the difficult ceremony Of In
PRODUCTION. The room and the atmos-
phere beam with friendliness. Intro
duced to your dinner companion. she Is
determined that you and your partner
shall be friends at once. You have not
to make conversation. She makes It
for you. II you know anything, she
will drag 1t out of you In double quick
time. and you have some difficulty in
holding your own against her readi-
ness. wit and sly cynicism. She can
discuss everything and knows some
thing about all she discusses, but with.
out pedantry or affectation. She has
the art Of appearing to like you and be
interested In you whether she is or not
This may b. humbug, but 1t Is delight
ful humbug all the same.
1.-The elements Of filtration are never
to be despised by man or woman Of
any age. This social art Is generally
ignored in England, and that is why
American women are SO supremely
popular And what is the consequence
You 60 home from dinner party in
England tired and bored to death or
wander of to your club to try to for
get 1t all. You 60 home from an Amer
ican dinner party exhilarated, a little
proud Of yourself and saying sincerely,
1T has been Jolly and delightful even
ing At least that Is what have felt
whenever have been honored witA an
invitation In New York."-San Francis
co Argonaut.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
HE Own TraH.


There is a young man in the pension
Office who 10 buying house on the
instaIlment plan at town somewhere
between this city and Baltimore, and
his dear little wife lives out there. II
Is his wont to come In early of a morn
ing and to 60 out again on the $50
train when his days work 10 done. A
few days ago he met an old friend from
Chicago. and. yielding to the entreaties
OF that old friend, he decided to spend
the evening in town. He was 30 afraid
wife would feel hurt II she know that
he had deliberately planned an even.
ing's good time without counting her
In that he manfully resolved to deceive
her. Accordingly as he came away
from the office he went to a telegraph
Office and sent this message to her:
"Unavoidably detained. Missed $40
train. Win be out later"
1t was great deal later when he
renched his happy home. Wife met
him at the door. and there was look
In her eye that every married man
learns to know and inStinctively to
dread.
"Did you get my message preciousT"
he asked as he kissed her tenderly,
holding his breath meanwhile as pre-
cautionary measure.
Yes DEAR" she made answer, and
when woman calls her husband
dear that way you can cut loose from
the weather bureau and prognosticate
q few things on your own hook. Yes
dear. received your message. Here
It is"
There 1t was, sure enough. 1t was
marked as plain as plain could be,
Received at 4:23" He hadn't thought
Of that.-Washington Post.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
The Great Seal of EnRln n d .

The seal consists of large mass Of
sterling silver, measuring about Gh
inches In diameter by " inches in
depth or thickness. 1t Is In two parts,
both smooth on the outer side, but clab-
oratcly engraved within. These two
surfaces are impressed upon lump OF
wax attached In an ingenious way to
any document to which her ma ajesty as
sovereign gives her royal assent. The
weight of the seal Is lSJ ounces. Each
seal Is engraved during the reign Of
the sovereign whose name II bears.
and the collection presents curious
and accurate cpltome Of English his
tory.
All lord chancellors have taken the
greatest care Of the seals In their
charge and have contrived recesses
and elaborate devices for their safe
custody. One Of them in the reign OF
Charles III actually slept with the seal
under his pillow and by this loving pre-
caution saved 1t from thieves who one
night broke into his house and carried
off the mace belonging to the house Of
lords and other valuable property
Chambers Journal.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
He Doesn't Mean II,

When you hear q young man say,
II don't believe In woman having
anything to do but sit and read or
manicure her finger nails all day,
don't want my wife to be busy about
anything" why, Of course, you know
that the young man Is simply talking
against time. He doesn't mean word
he says, and 1t Is safe to warrant that
he Is the first man who would be bored
to death by such a girl. This young
man may like to fancy that he Is be-
lever In such false sentiments, and
perhaps he does believe In them for
the moment Of saying. But this may
more than likely be only his way Of
protesting against the wave Of energy
which the girlhood Of today Is respond
Ing to. out Of which perhaps may
come salvation even to man. Or else,
possibly, there is nothing more than sly
method in his old school assertion
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
Nature as an ArmOrep.

There are few departments OF hu-
man life where man has been SO en-.
tirely anticipated and at the same time
surpassed by the lower animals as In
the invention Of armor.
His cunningest devices Of tho mailed
fist order were none Of them original
If you examine a fine and fully devel.
oped suit Of plate armor In the form
which 1t assumed ut its highest zenith
in the fifteenth century, you will find
that the trunk and limbs were COM
pletely inclosed In a splendid fitting
jointed case Of iron plates all exqui-
sitcly polished. The suit as a whole
was triumphant product OF the ar.
morcr's art.
Yet II you look at Holsters tail you
will see at a glance that all these clev-
er devices Of mans imagining had
been invented and patented long be-
fore by nature and that the elaborate
workmanship Of the Plantagenet
craftsmen who cased knight and horse
for the battlefield or the tournament In
glistening metal was but poor im!ta-
ton Of the ineffable skill with which
the unheeded crustaceans of the time
protected every vulnerable portion Of
their bodies from the assaults and at
tacks Of their submarine enemies
Strand Magazine.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
THE
NEW YORK WORLD,
Thrice q Week Edition.
10 Pages a Week
1856 Papers a Year.
FOR ONE DOLLAR.
Published Every Alternate Day
Except Sunday.

The Thrice Week edition of the New
York World Is first among all weekly pa.
pers in size, frequency publication, and the
freshness, accuracy and variety of its con
tents. 1t has all the merit of a great sc daily
at the price of dollar weekly. Its political
news is prompt, complete accurate and im-
partial as all its readers will testify. 1t is
against the monopolics and for the people
1t prints the news Of all the world, having
special correspondence from all important
points on the glooe. 1t has brilliant illus.
trations, stories by great authors, capital
humor page, complete markets, departments
for the household and women's work and
other special departments of unusual inter.
est.
We offer this uncqualed newspaper and
THE CAToCTIN CLARION together one wear
tor 81 65
The regular subscription price Of the two
papers is s. co.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
Church Directory,

reformed Church-Rcv. G. A WhiimoTt
as or. Sunday School $50 Il. m. Divine
Services alternate Sundays, 1890 am. and
7:45 p. III. 49,,
Guild every Sunday evening, G45. Mid
week services, Wednesday 7:45.
Lutheran Church Rev. W, S. T. Mctzger
pastor. Services, Sunday 10 A. NJ. and 500 p
In. Sunday school, p. Vi Prayer Meet
ng, Wednesday, p. IN.
United Brethren Church-Rev. William
Daugherty Pastor Regular Services by
appointment from the pulpit.
Glass Meeting every two weeks at 10 a. m.
PRAYER Meeting every Thursday evening
Sunday School PM.
Mite Society ymi.monthly, "Wednesday
evening at o'clock. w. Mis-. Meeting
Monthly at Parsonage.
Morayiau Church Rcy. NJ. F. Ocrtcr, Pas.
tor. Sunday School every Sundays II. m
Preaching services will be held every other
Sunday as heretofore, alternating morning
and evening at 10 ard $50 respectively
Methodist Episcopal Church - Rev.
W. L. Orem Pastor. Services every alter
nate Sunday at 10 A. NJ and 100 p. M.
Sunday School at 8 A. M. Prayer Meeting
every Wednesday evening at 7,30 M. Ep.
worth League at $50 every Sunday.
81. Stephens Church, Protestant Episcoal
Rev. Ernest McGill, Rector. Services
every Sunday at 400, p. M, at Walkers
vile; at 1890 a. m. at Thurmont,
Scryce SATURDAYS at 400 p m.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
A Financial Star.

They haven't been married long, and
they are as loyal and devoted a young
couple as ever made the confirmed
against matrimony. She has pronounc-
ed and original ideas upon domestic
economy, and In this and other ways
she strives to make her husbands
home perfect Utopia.
There was love lit smile upon her
pretty face when hubby came home
from the Office the other evening.
"What Is 1t, dear2" he asked, OBJ
serving the glow Of enthusiasm that
shone through the soft, peach blown
cheeks and sparkled in the Kohinoor-
like eyes.
II made IS cents today" said she,
and her rosebud lips parted In a pride
full curve.
THAT 50, dear7 How did that hap
pen?'
"Nhy, sold 0 cents worth Of rags
and-and cents worth Of bottles
and-let me see
"Yes, that's IL cents. Where does
the other cent come in?"
''Oh, yes-yes-now I remember-an
old pair of your trousers for the other
penny"
No Napoleon Of finance ever looked
more satisfied or smiled with 80 much
self complacency after successful
monetary deal than did this fair young
wife when she had related her little
l,1,. lv.I hn
looked sorely grieved when he smiled
audibly. 1t was really their first mis-
understanding. Detroit Free Press.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
A Dinner OF Mule nnd Axle Grease.

Dinner OF Mule md Axle Grease.
The following is an incident Of the
siege OF Ladysmith narrated by Sir
William MacCormac: "An officer re-
lated IN incident which will serve to
Illustrate the lengths to which things
had gone as regards food. 4 shell fell
into the mule lines one afternoon, kill
ing one mule. In spite of other shells
following the first one In rapid success
sion, so as to make occupation Of the
spot very dangerous, the men In the
vicinity made n rush at the mule like
so many ravenous creatures, cutting Oh
the flesh with their clasp knives In
great chunks. They then In safer quar-
ters built fires, toasted the meat and
swallowed II at once. To make tn, 4
more palatable the men fried their bi
cults in the axle grease provided for
the carts. The want Of fatty foods
and vegetables was greatly felt In
spite of all their hardshlps nobody ever
thought Of giving in. The general in
quired as to how many horses In the
camp could carry their riders six miles,
In view Of n sortle being made, and the
answer came back that only IL horses
in the whole camp could do it."-Lon-
don Lancet.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
An Old Snlt,a RtoYiea.

The captain Of the brig was much
disliked by his officers. and. being III
with yellow fever and likely to die. the
first lieutenant used to drill the ma
rincs in the burial service on the deck
over the captains cabin by way OF
cheering him up. the corporal giving
his orders in loud voice thus: The
corpse is now a-coming 70 the 'atch-
way! Reverse harms.' 1he skipper
ultimately recovered.
The commander OF certain gunboat
used to say that, having no doctor on
board. he mixed the medicines provid-
cd In chest into two bottles, and
whenever any OF his crew happened
to be sick he drew IN imaginary line
across the mans stomach, and accord.
Ing az the pain was above or below
that limo he gave him dose out OF No.
1 or No 2. He claimed that no man
ever came TO him twice. which wns
very likely.-"Hurrah For the Life OF
a Sailor" by Vice Admiral Kennedy.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
TO MAKE LIFE HAPPY.

Swce, music appeals to the heart and soul
and lightcns many Of ife's burdens If you
have ever heard the swett.toned STEGEK
PIANO you will appreciate this. To reach
the highest standard of excellence has always
been the aim in the manufacture OF the
Celebrated Steger Piano: only the hes! material
is usco. insurng g"ra: durability. Every
piano fully guaranteed.
The Stegcr factories, thoroughly equipped
with the best and most improved machinery
ocated at Steger, Ill.,, are among the largest
n the West
Intending purchasers will find it profitable
to write for full descriptive catalogue, which
will be mailed tree, upon application.
SrEGER & Co. Established 1870 Chicago,
III. ma25
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
Patents

CuUedts and Re- Issues secured; Trade Mark
md Copyrights registered Opinions given
to validity and infringement of patents; As
signmeats, Contracts, etc, prepared and recor-
ded, and all business in the Patent Office in
the UNITED STATES and all FOREIGN
COUNTRIES promptly and carefully pros
eeute1. Upon receipt of model or sketch or
photograph of Invention with description, |
will advise as To patentablity free Of charge
Main offices directly acr0ss from tie q. s
Patent Office, and attention is specially called
20 my perfect and long established facilities
for the most vigorous and successful prose
cution of applications for patent and for
tending to all business entrusted to my care
in the shortest possible time. Rejected cases
specially FEES MODERATE and exclu-
sve attention given to patent business. Book
of information and advice, and special refer
ences, sent without charge upon request.
j. r. LITTELL,
Ett0raey and C0unsell0r in Patent Causes,
Washington, D. c.,
Opposite U. S. Patent Office
|Kentton this Paper,)
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
Just What He Needed.

An invalid called on a physician for
advice. The doctor wrote out pre-
scription, charging the patient 2 gum
eas for 1t. Some time aftcrward they
met in the street.
"Well," said the doctor, "you are
looking 100 per cent better! That medi-
cine, though little expensive, was
just what you needed"
Doctor" replied the patient after
had paid you the guincas for the
prescription, couldn't afford to have
1t made up, so didn't take single
doSe"-London Answers.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
1887 THE sun. 1900
BALTIMORE, MD
The Paper of the People, For the
pie and With the People.
Honest in Motive Fearless in Expression
Sound in Principle.

A newspaper is an educator; there are all
kinds of educators, but The man who spends
money judciously and literally is better able
to impart his knowledge than the man who
has little or nothing to spend
The San is the highest type of newspaper.
The SIMS reports from all parts Of the
United States are unsurpassed
The SIMS cable service is the finest known;
The troubles in the Philippines and in South
Africa demand competent correspondents
and vast expenditure of money and labor in
getting the news. When you get The 6"n
you get news and intelligent presentation OF
facts with it, as well as carefully prepared
articles of edtorialwritcrs ofhighest standing
When you read II daily paper whose principal
recommendation is its chcapness, you get the
dregs- generally very poor dlegs at that.
| BY mail 80 cents month; six months. 49,
one year, Sc.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
TRAINS GOING EAST.

Leave Rocky Ridge for Emmltsburg at
SEQ and 10 80 III, and 3 81 and 6 "a p III.
Leave Edgemont for WayncsboIo and
Chambersburg at 0j m, and for Ship
pensburg at II 40 a IN, and 35 IN.
Leave Hagerstown for Cherry Run and
points on Potomac Valley Railroad at 10
Il m and - 0S and 8 05 pm.
Leave Brucevllle tor Frederick at 80, 8 80
Littlestown, Taneytown, Wrightsville and
Columbia at 0 AZ m and 3 AS IN.
Daily-all other daily except Sunday.
tSlops to land Passengers from Baltimore.
J M. HOOP. B II. GRIswoLD.
cenl, Manager. Gcnl, Passenger, Agcn
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
Check 70 FriyOIity.

"The Chinese minister says the CO.'S
tunes worn by American women strike
him as being in some respects ridicu-
lous," said Mrs. Blykins.
YES" answered Mr.. Blykins. "Thats
owing to his point Of view. II he had
to pay for n few OF them, he'd soon
learn to take them seriously. Wash
ington Star.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
The English Way.

Fights are recognized part OF the
school education among the boys In
England. In America when boys fight
1t is because they are angry with each
other; in England they fight because
they are anxious to find out which Is
the better man physically. They may
have no quarrel or Ill feeling. but II
their friends cannot agree as to their
respective prowess the ultimate result
is pretty apt to be "mill."-Self Cul-
ture
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
The Baltimore Weekly Sun.
The Best Family Newspapcr.

The Best Family Newspaper.
All the news of the world in attractive form;
An agricultural department second to-
none in the country, Market reports
which are recognized authority;
Short stories, complete IN
each number; An interesting
womans column and varied and attractive
department of household interest.
One dollar a year. Inducements to get.
tcrs up of clubs for the Weekly Sun. Both
the Daily and Weekly Sun mailed free Of
postage in the United States, Canada and
Mexico. Payments invariably IN advance.
A. S. ABELL COMPANY,
Publishers and Proprietors.
Baltimore, Md.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
Not a Warm Garment.

II can't find words" exclaimed the
moral man, ito express my disgust for
the man who uses his religion as a
rloak. He's everything that's bad"
HE certainly is foolish, to say the
least" remarked the practical man,
"for religion such as his is necessarily
30 flimsy he's liable to catch cold in It."
Philadelphia Press.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
boarding House Pleasantry.

"Will some one please chase the COW
down this way?" said the funny board
or, who wanted some milk for his oat-
meal.
"Here Jane" said the landlady In a
tone that was meant to be crushing,
take the COW down there where the
calf Is bawling."-Chicago News.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
His Obstacles.

Harry-Did you ever undertake to
write poetry2
Dick--I did once, and I got along
fairly well too. The only trouble was
that couldn't rhyme very well, and
couldn't think Of anything to write
about. But l was all right with the
capital letters at the beginning Of the
lines.-Boston Transcript.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
Western Maryland Railroad

spa rtsEsf1 -Ils5sss 5sI5zT a
~ F,3as-.Kks y.HsiHf--ks y.Hsif-.nks z1zaa-&SHK
Cchclule in effect september 80, 1900,
TRAINS GOING WEST
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
B. A. DIpPBNDAL,
DEALER IN
WINES and LIQUORS,
EMNIITSBURG, MD.
EMMITSBURG, MD.

Buys direct from the Manufac.
turer. Distilled from carefully
selected grain, therefore is strictly
pure and guaranteed free from
any adulteratiop. Sold at reason
able prices.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
Pursuit Of KnOyIedge.

The Wearisome Caller-Is that clock
going?
The Girl-Yes. Are you?-Syracuse
Herald.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-10-04
Volume XXX
THE CATOCTIN CLARION.
CHAS. E.;CASSELL.
EDITOR AND PUBLISHER OF
OFFICE-MASONIC BUILDING
East Nam Street.

TrRMs.--TnR CArocrrN CLARION is published every
Thursday morning. at $r.oo per annum IN advance
otherwise $l.as will be charged. The publishers as
sumes the risk of remittance by mail No subscrip-
,ons received for less than Six months, nor any paper
discontinued until arrearages are paid. Advertise
mcnts we'll displayed at the following rates;
One Square four insertions or ,nsss,;on less
two monthS,.. .,........... 200
three months, ....... $50
six months 1900
one year, .''''' v 50
Twelve lines constitute square.
~ liberal deduction made 10 yearlyadvertisers'
Local or special notices cents line.
The Newtown bee. (Newtown, Conn.) 1877-current, 1900-08-17

Miss Lena squires of Bridgeport is vis-
iting her friend, Miss Lucy Sanford:
Mrs Stephen Sanford is entertaining
her sister, Mrs George Banks, of New
York.
Robert Ayers of Brooklyn was in town
on Saturday calling on old friends.
Aaron Sanford, in company with A. J..
Sherwood Of castor, er joyed a few days.
camping at Compo Beach, last week.
Miss Bessie Read and brother, Herbert,
and Ernest Hill were camping, last week,
with friends in Ridgef1eld.
w. II. Hill has recently ;soId IA head
of young fatted cattle to Emory Sanford.
Miss Annie Banks, who has been spend
ing the summer with her aunt, returned
to Bridgeport on Monday.
Miss Rebecca Beach entertained large
party Of her friends on Friday evening
at the home of Miss Abby Sanford.
Mrs Christopher Lovely died at her
home in Redding, July II, after a short
illness with typhoid malaria. Beside q
husband she leaves eight children to
mourn her loss, Mary, Josie, Kathryn,
Anna, Benjamin, James, William and ST.
mon. She was devoted wife and moth
or and her loss is greatly felt among her
many friends and neighbors.
Mrs Sadie Hoffman and two children
Christopher Lovely's OF Redding.
There will be requiem months mind
mass for Mrs Christopher Lovely, next
Friday morning, August II, at 9 O'Clock
at Bethel.
Mr. and Mrs F. Callaghan aud son John
and Mrs P. Daily, who have been recent
guests of Mr. and Mrs Edward Ryan have
returned home.
Miss Lizzie Mulligan of Bridgeport
spent Sunday with Misses Helen and
Elizabeth Ryan.
Mrs J. A. S. Burr has returned from
her visit at st Louis.
Miss Burgess and friends have return
ed from Bell Island after weeks outing.