The Washington weekly post., 1900-03-20
CELEBRATED TOO SOON
What Happened to One Clerk
Last Fourth of July.
REVENGE On AN ANCIENT LADY
Westerner Employed in One Of the De-
partmeHts Was Arrested for Di-charging
firecraeker Several Hours Ahead Of
Time-iu Elderly Lady Who Informed on
Him Was Made the Object Of a Midnight
serenade of Discordant sounds.
IRON the Chicago Record

IRON the Chicago Record
II you ever happen to be in Washing
1oH on the Fourth OF July" said the man
WHO was employed in one OF the DEPART
Inents during the late Standardization
WAT don't begin your celebration until
you mo out officially when IL begins and
"I-eh II ends. During my residence there
became acquainted with a colony Of
young Nesterners, temporary employees
"he nysef, who boarded at a small hotel
WHICH was much freIuented by depart
fh'ht clerks. medical students. dental stu
cents ana so forth They led a careless.
hohtlEe sort OF life. free from the con-
FtAtiohalties Of larger and more pre-
tehuous nostelries. The wide sidewalk
IN 'front.' or the house was amply provided
WIN rustic settees and chairs, making a
very pleasant loungiEg place, where the
guests were accustomed TO sit and chat
after supper. One Of this group was a
young clerk called Jim. Jim was a lively.
cood-hea-ted, qUick-witted young fellow,
always ready with joke and always will
Ing 10 do a good turn for any one. conse-
quently ne had become a universal IA
vOTite.
dents OF the District or Columbia do not
vote for local offices. but that their
judges. police department officials. and SO
on are appointed for them. There is no
such thing in Washington as an alder
manic pull. It is a tradition that slrict
justice is administered without fear or
favor to the just as well as the unjust.
verifying the old adage that justice is
blind. Among the laws is one which per-
mits the shooting of firecrackers only be-
tween the hours of a. m. and p. m. on
the Fourth of July. IT happened on the
evening Of the Sd Of July that a member
Of our colony while returning from
cigar store after his supper bought half
dozen cannon firecrackers and carried
them back with him to the group on the
settees He was so recently from The
wild West that ne didn't know the law
of the District. inadvertently he rut
temptation in the way of the others.
Some one present had heard that fire.
crackers were prohibited except during
certain hours on the Fourth. He didn't
know exactly when, but he knew they
didn't go on the Sd. Well, of course they
talked it over. ! suppose there's some
thing in every man that keeps prompting
him to Go the thing that is forbidden.
lnally, along about twilight some one
lighted d cracker and stood il on end in
the gutter. This particular cracker was
evidently loaded for bear and the noise
which il made seemed extraordinarily
large. 1t was followed by a silence
which was cOrrespOndingly deep for a
moment or two, but nothing happened
beyond the filling of the windows of sur
rounding houses with rubbernecks. En-
bOldened by this, after quite a long pause
some one else fired a cracker, and this
was followed by another and then an
other.
An Elderly Female "Kicker."
'In the next house lived an elderly lady
who had the reputation among our friends
of being a kicker Anyhow. it is certain
that she looked upon their nightly gath
erings with great disfavor, and, although
they did not know it, she was witnessing
this premature celebration with rage
which increased with every shot Finally,
only one more cracker remained. and Jim,
not to be outdone by his comrades. lighted
it and was in the act Of hurting it into
the street when a big policeman appeared
around the corner. Now, the copper
whom we will call Murphy, was a good
fellow, and had occasionally passed a
pleasant word with the boys on his Leaf
past the hotel. l don't think he had any
idea of arresting anybody if he could stop
the noise otherwise, so he let on that he
didn't see Jim, but marched up ana in
fierce voice demanded: Who's doin' all
this shootin' around here? 1t is pre-
sumed that he expected TO receive no an
swer to this question. after which he
would proDably have delivered a little lee
ture expOunding the laws of the district
and passed on. Now was the opportunity
Of the lady next door. Bursting with
wrath, all the more violent for having
long been suppressed. she rushed out on
the sidewalk and ffercely denounced the
lnoHensiyc Jim as the instigaTOr and chief
conSplrator in what she considered a dia-
D0lcai plot against the peace and quiet
vi the ncighbOrhOOd.
of course. nothing remained for Muir
phN 70 do but 10 arrest Jim. which he did
raising chorus of protests from every
body except the irate lady. The tears and
entreatieS Of the ladies were mingled with
the curses and fmDrecations of the men,
but they had no effect on Officer Murphy
Jim had been denounced to him by a
citizen of the district and had, in fact,
been taken rnd-na ndn3 Mu-nuy Y az
have landed him in the station had he
Do en- ne President himself. So hev pro-
ceeded down the street followed by an
ally all the men, women, and children in
the TWO blocks, all denOuncing Murphy as
hard-hearted villain and yelling words
OF sympathy and encouragement to Jim
When the mob reached a patrol box and
a wagon was called the whole regiment
wanted 10 get in and ride to the station.
This was compromised by half a dozen
being allowed TO go. The prisoner was
brought before the desk sergeant, TO
whom Murphy explained the case.
gaf ha NJ
" Don't | get any run for my money at
alp inteTTOgated jim
We'll, you can leave s. and go to-
night, then come around day after to-
morrow and see the justice answered
the sergeant,
They >wOre Vengeance.
Jim and his faithful Indians from the
bad West went back to the hotel swear
ing vengeance. They had their war paint
on. They considered that they had been
Outrageously prosecuted for a mere ex-
uberance Of patriotic enthusiasm. After
they reached the hotel and Jim had been
by the ladies, the desire for
seemed 10 increase, and finally
the landlord, greatly incensed at the
treatment accorded his guest. telephoned
the police headquarters and asked when
people were allowed TO shoot fireworks
anyway. lie claims the answer was: ON
the Fourth OF July That was enough,
and forthwith every man and boy on the
block made quiet break for a place to
purchase fireworks. When the braves
from the West went broke they borrowed
more money and continued TO lay in am
until all the stocks in the neigh
bornnod had been bought out Quietly he
were distributed. They worked
with great caution, singly and in pairs.
No crowd was allowed 10 gather, but the
forces were so disposed that they opuld
quickly at the desired place
at a given signal.
AT y O'Clock The big show opened. II
was simply pandemonium The lombard
mrnt of san Juan wasn't a side show.
They had piles Of giant crackers like ccTd-
wood. stacks OF -kyrockets. Roman can
dies Niger chaseTs; in .act, everything
that would explode was there. The sky
Blazed with rockets and Roman candles
and the earth trembled from the combined
explosion Of dynamite crackers. Well. |
YOU can imagine what a dozen Indians
from out here. aided ana abetted by a
score OF the natives. could do In lie way
lf producing noise. with an unlimited sup
DIV OF ammunition and melted by desire |
Tor vengeance. During the excitement a