The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1900-01-18

rs your new play comedy or a trag-
edy?" L can't tell until l see how the
audience takes it."-Chicago Record.
She goes In for realism, doesn't she p
Yes. indeed Even the clocks on her
stockings are striking. Philadelphia
| Record.
Dewey believes in short engage
ments,' remarked Mrs. Snaggs. Yes.
the Spaniards who were at Manila last
year can testify TO that. "-Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph
Hattie-So Jack is engaged to Fannie.
Ella-Yes. poor fellow. He'll probably
never know what he missed. Hattie
Why. what do you meanf Ella-That
he could have had you for the asking.
What" asked the sentimental young
woman. was the most touching incl
lent you ever wltnessedi" And, after
some thought, Senator Sorghum an
swered with emphasis, An election
Washington Star.
Physlcian-Yo should repose on the
right side only In order to enjoy good
nights rest. 1t is positively injurious
TO lie on both sides. Patient-But how
can help II, doctor? You seem to have
overlooked the fact that | am a lawyer.
Chicago News.
Couldn't Decide -"Hark, do you hear
that man on the front seat? What I'M
der heaven is that gibberish he's talk
ngY" Hes reading a list of Boer
words and their definitions We'll. i
thought it must be that or golf.'-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Jack-You won't let me have VI
Why. you loaned an y 10 Jones. and
he's almost a perfect stranger TO you.
fom-Well? Jack-Well. I'm an old
friend of yours. om-EXactly. Jack.
and | don't want to lose you.-Cathollc
Standard aud Times.
These sky-scraping flats have
knocked the stutiing out of romance"
said the young man. Yes" said the
other young man. They have. Fancy
serenading girl who lived in the fifth
story, with brass band and a mega
phoner Journal.
Teacher-Now. little girl. | have told
the class about the wicked place being
paved with good intentions. Now.
what do you suppose heaven Is paved
with? Little Girl with delightful rec
objection OF fresh-air picnic)-Ham
sandwiches, bananas an pie.-Harlem
Life
Mrs. Stubb-John, what in the world
are you doing with those boxing gloves
in one hand and the remnants of dinner
In the other? Mr.. Stubbs-Maria, there
Is a tramp downstairs who says he Is
looking for scraps | want 10 be GER
tain which kind he Chicago
News.
Don't you wish you had minded
me?' said the stern mother. as she Piled
the paddle to her erring son with mon
otOnous frequency and vigor. Il wish"
said Johnny. a $ he tried to twist around
so that the paddle would strike him
slant!ngly, IL wish | wuz a orfing. -
Ohio State Journal,
Il wish now" shrleked the angry
Young wife. Il wish now. Frederick
Harrison. yon had married Edith Mae
mahon instead of me! That's what l
visit II would have married her."
ve,,ed tho Infuriated husband. "only she
wouldn't have me and you would. =
Cincinnati Enquirer.
They babe each other an affectionate
farewell at the door, Where Is he
goIng?" asked nelghbor. For a little
jaunt on the boulevards with his auto
mobile" replied the wife, but one of
the crank pins seems TO be little loose
anu 'nere u no 'e,nns men WI"
DICK "'e'so io'''
81 dunno how Bits a-goin' to vote
In this election" said the campaign
worker; 1--WE heard tell he's on the
fence" "He wuz thar" replied his
neighbor, but one o. the canderdates
let fall n dollar on the off-side O. the
fence, an Bill got dizzy. an fell oyer!'
-Auah'a Oohs'i'u''oh'
when my wife gets to jawing," said
the man with the frayed cuffs, II pre-
serve dignlfied silence" Yes, heard
about It," said the man with the blue
oyeralls. 81 heard your hired girl tell
ing our hired girl that you was the best
hand at settin' round an sulklng she
ever seen."-Indlanapoli Journal.
"Now. General Aguinaldo." inquired
the interviewer, do you think that the
Filiplnos can possibly get the better OF
the Americans2" LIN the long rum
yes" And the Generals eyes danced
IL 30