The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-10-07
Mr.. DOOley on Col. Rooseyelfs Western Tour
BY F. P. DUNNE.

well, sir said Mr. Dooley, eff they're
amy wan r-runnin in this campaign but
me frind Tiddy Rosenfelt, I'd like to
know who it is. 1t isn't Mack f'r he whit
away three weeks ago, LAWN note say
in that he'd accept tn nommynation if
twas offered him, an he amt been heerd
firm since 1t amt Bryan, FIR he's Wis
Tin tn tombs iv tn ancesthors iv tn
party an, if he likes tn ne:ghborhood he
nay buy place there. 1t amt ABLY,
+ athletic sports ARE far fl m his line.
tbs Tiddy alone that's r-runnin' an he
amt r-runnin'; he's gallopin'.
"Th compny that insures pate glass
windows injooced him to lave New York
an pike out IF tn land iv tn prairie an
teh mountain, where We can use tn top
NJ ye'er voice without disturbin tn seen
e4y. He mounted his thrusty bronco an
made FIR South Dakota South Dakota
tur-rned out as wan man an exchanged
shots iV greetin' with him. A guard iv
welcome, two hundred thousan' sthrong
composed iv Vethrans iV tn trough rid
ers met him at tn town limits an es-
e9rted him to tn public square, where
he shook hands whiniver hands re-
manned, with th' survivors iv his career
on IN pains. We won't reconize me-
says man with a rubber leg an a cell
iulold ear seem TO raymimber such iv
Fe er Inymlnts as has not gone out iv
elreyiation, says Tiddy, but | don't call
eeF name, he says. H., says tn Ia PAD,
am Horrible Horace. tn Scoorg iV tn
WIND R-river valley" he says Don't
re raymimber tn time We near kilt me
Eh Snake Canyon durin tn har-rd winter
Nv eiShty-nine, says he. L have a dim
recollection says Tiddy.,
IF l raymimber Fright was sthandtr,
at tn bar dhrinkin' a pint iv sulnhnric
acid an r-readin' little fav-rite wurruk
w mine called Locke on tn Human I'm
nnerstandin',' Whin We come in an oh
AcK9ted TO me glasses sayin' that with tn
rest ~ me features they made me look
IKE provisional diver just disappearia'
nlto an angry horse, he says. Ye thin
suackted me with vile language. coarse
ABUSE, excited oaths, a cant hook.
pair OF spurs, pair iv chaps. a sombrerro
renicuon on me gran father a bran1-
IN If n, a bowie knife forty-four an a
Winchester rife he saws. I was loath
10 strike We even thin but whin,' he saws.
We passed an insultin' remark about til
VaIue " tn merit system, he says, me
indignation overcome me- he saws. Il
wiped me glasses an handed thin to
IN bartlnder, buttoned up me rough coat
TO PROTECT me silk vest, smiled ca 'mlv =,
as ca mly as L can, waved aside tn bull
lets with me left hand an made two
motions with me Fright. Dye raymim-
per l raymimber tn first says Horri-
Ole Horace. Well, thin was great
times, says Tiddy An I'm not changed
IN IN Taste, he says. Me purpose IN
fomll-' to We er mist, he says is to throw
Town, rope an brand tn Dimmycratic
party. Are We with me-? he saws. we
Rr-re, says all tn survivors An he goes
among thin inspictin' tn places where he
hit thin, an thin he visits tn gravev lrd
where he buried his dead an so on to III
next town.
He niver stops. In Wounded Knee
ne busts bronco that has kilt almost
tn intire male population; busts it so
har-rd tWud dhraw baby carretge
without wakin tn occupant He finds a
poor ranchman whose punchers is off On
dhTunk an he goes out an rounds I'm
thirty thousan' head iv cattle in less thin
an hour. After that he r-rides off TO- tn
cow town, :inds tn cowboys, takes their
guns away fir m thin, bates thin into
subuctlon an swears thin all in as miul-
Ders " tn Christyan Indeavor s'cietv.
He discovers an OF frind whom he licked
III year he killed tn grizzly bear with
III rock, an his oil frind is havtn'
thfouble with bouldher that's GOT In
tn slooce. TIL boul6her weighs four
tons. 'Ye don't know how to deal with
IT,. says Tiddy, an he shcves 1t out iv
IN way with his foot Even natur.' he
says. can be subjooeed be kick firm a
sthrong man. he says
I'm this way he proves that it's he
nictin himsilf an tn other Ia-ad on tn
nchet, IN hydhra headed monsther call
ed be tn foolish anti-imperyalsm an be
IA wise free silver arnychy, Whence an
htoi rance can be er-rushed. Glory be.
put Ia like to be along where he goes
, lis no matinee FIR ladies an childher
with an usher to show We to yeer seats
an boy disthributin' chocolate creams:
us no handkerchief salOot, an no quar-
tet slngin': TIL Vflets on tn Veldt
Whisper Mack an Rosenfelt' whin he's
K TO speak at an altitOod iv fifteen thousan
teet, where man with a tall hat wud
knock 1t again tn stars in their coorses.
lis TT glntlemen on'y; come ARMED
win he's in town. Tis mother an sis
ter down in tn cyclone cellar, an papa
off with a brick in his hand IT'S shut
! tiers up at tn jcolry store an glass out
at III saloon. ',Tis sthreets carpeted
with tn human form divine, an extry
clerks at tn gunware store an tn tire
were off tn ambulance
Fh' meeSn' was called FIR eight
o'clock, says tn pa-aper. An at tn holr
tn hall was packed with seethin' multi
TODD. Aftber a few welI-chosen re-
marks, tn chairman, tn Hon. Ed. Wool
! colt come down into tn body ~ tn hail
an with a well-directed blow put out
Nv til business, tn Hon. Lin Doosly. for
mer judge iv tn CiIkit Coort an author
iv sev-ral weil-known wurruks on free
cienage an slayer iv Fierce Fred, tn
half-breed desperate. At this moment
Gov'nor Rosenfelt. bit his way through
! tn throng an afther bringin' down with
well-aimed shot tn chairman iv IL
: Dimmycratic commty, Horace Greeley
Ramsum editor iv tn Colorado Coyote