The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-08-10

coed in anything.
Jinks-There's one good thing about
spoiled children. Binks-What's that?
Jinks-One never has them in ones
own house.
II don't see what you like about this
flat, Clara.' swell, Clarence, it is the
only one we've looked at that fits our
Navajo rug."-Chicago Record.
A false front: PA, our new dog is
awful d'ceitful.' How, Tommy:'
why, when he barks at people he
wags his tail."-Chicago Record.
Teacher OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES wrote
your composition, Johnny? Johnny
MY father. Teacher-What. all of it?
Johnny-No'm; helped him-Truth.
Fair Painter-I hope you don't mind
my skctching in your field? Farmer
LORD, no, missile! You keep the birds
OH the peas better'n a ordinary scare
crow.
Sure, Pat, and why are We wearin'
yer coat buttoned up loikc that on Il
warm day loike this:' Faith. yer riv-
erence to hoide the shirt Oh haven't got
| on.'-Punch.
"NoW, honestly, Maud, didn't Jack
propose last evening:' ''Why. Wees.
But how did YOU Suess?' Il noticed
that you didn't have that worried look
this morning."
Real Cruelty: oh mummy. do come
and speak to Johnny; he's twcading on
all the worms in the garden" How
Cnkind'' Yes. and he won't let NE
tWrad on any.'-The King.
\isitor-What WAS the matter with
the man they just brought in: Doctor
Stuck his head through pane of glass.
\l>ltOr-11oW Gid he look: DOctOr-Hs
face wore an injured expression.
Curious Nillager-Ay, Sandy. an !e
wis wounded at MayerSIontein Whit
wis ye struck wi? Sandy tired Of an
sWering questiOns)-I was struck wi
wonder when kent l Wisna killed.
Evidence: Friend-l suppose the
baby is fond Of You? Papa-Fond Of
me: Why, he sleeps all day when I'm
not at home, and stays up all night just
Magistratc-Do YOU mean to say such
Il physical wreck as he is gave YOU
that black eye: Complaining Wife
Shurc, yer worship. he wasn't a phySi-
cal wreck till he gave me tn black
eye.
Papa" said Willie, why did YOU
buy Il golf coat:'' ITO play golf in. my
son. said Mr.. Willis. Did you need
it?' "Of course l did, "Then l need
topcoat to play tops in. seen 'em
advertised.'
Teacher (endeavoring to explain the
meaning Of the word harness. )-What
does your father put on the horse:
Small Boy (his face brightening)-
Please, sir. e puts on all e can if e
thinks it'll VIM
At the Summer Hotel: ''Who is that
good-looking young waiter who is toss.
ing the plates across the room? Is he
a STUDENT too:' Yes. He holds the
record in Harvale for discus throwing"
cleveland Plain Dealer.
\ Natural Reaction: Hi Tragedy
I understand the audience last night
was very cold? Lowe Comerdy-They
were at first. but when they began TO
rccolloct that they had paid good money
to sec the show they got hot-Philadel-
Dhia Press.
Earmarks of Literary Ability: Did
that critic write any favorable com
mcnt on your novel, Belinda?' Oh. YES;
he said my father had once met tie
Prince OF Wales and that we had al
ways moved in the best society.'-ln-
dianapolis Journal.
\ Feminine Butter: And LOW, chill
dren,' said The teacher, who had been
talking about military Notifications,
can any Of you tell me what is but
treSs:' "Ple;isr, ma am" cried little
Willie, swapping his fingers. its Il
nanny goat" Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. BroWn-I must be going back to
the city at once; I've had three letters
from my husband in two days. Mrs
Gray-Why, you poor dear! l know
just how you feel; two would be suspi-
ciously attentiye-but three. l really
d LII dlIdlU las Ueell uOluN something
very ehensible.-Brooklyn Life
The following birth notice recently
appeared in the columns of a Kansas
paper: Born, to the wife of Jim Jones'
boy. The boy fayors his old dad in
several ways, viz: He is bald, has 4
red nose, takes to a bottle like a bum
blebee to lump Of sugar, and makes a
lot of noise about nothing Selah."-
Exchange.
The Virtuous Clerk: 'Sign your name
here" said the chief conspirator, "and
the money will be paid you at once"
Sooner than let my good right hand
sign that Ubiquitous document" said
the virtuous government clerk, Il
would cut it off! But, fortunately, l
am left-handed." And he signed it.
Cleveland Plain Dealer
An old gentleman wanted to catch a
certain train, but before he had got to
the station the train had started. Hi,
hi! party of sixty wants to come OH