The Afro-American advance., 1900-10-20
| JObSOn Cleans House
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.

hTtHIS house." remarked Mr.. Job
son one evening recently. run
ming his right index finger over
the top Of the frame OF one OF
the parlor pictures and then flick
ing lot Of imaginary dust from
the finger. 'looks like pig pen.
DO you ever do any dustIng in this
pIant2 The dust's 70 thick all over the
establishment that my lungs are all
caked up. And the whole outfits got n
general rundown. untldy, neglected
look. OF course, / know that your ef-
forts to keep up with current fiction
make big inroada upon your spare
time. Nevertheless, I should think
you'd be able to snatch u moment here
aud there for the purpose Of endeayor'
ing TO make your home look less like q
soubrette'a rag.time fiat. How about
itr'
''The house was cleaned from top 10
bottom this very morning." said Mrs.
Jobson, ''and II you can hud q speek Of
dust anywhere"
"Speck OF dust anywhere. hey?"
broke In Mr.. Jobson. sarcastieal:y.
"I'll wager you the finest box Of Iuiube
paste or gum drops that can be bought
for money, Mrs. Jobxon. that ! can coli
lect two hogsheads full OF dirt In this
house inside OF 20 minutes. The dift's
everywhere"
Mrs. Jobson didn't Youchsafe any re-
ply to this extrat rdlnnry statement.
"It'n nearly time for the fall house
cleaning" she said. however, "and In
tended to begin day after Tomorrow.
And that reminds me Of something.
You were 40 annoyed over the house
cleaning last fall that you told me 20
give you at least two days notice be.
fore beginning TO clean house this au.
tumn. 80 that you could have time 10
look over the papers, flud out where the
fish were biting the best and 20 away
for weeks vacation, II YOU"
Mr.. Johaon walked ever 10 where
Mrs. Jobson sat and gased at her euri.
ousiy. as n she were some new aud un.
usual archaeological specimen.
II said that. did NJ" he inquired,
skeptically TITS wonder you don't
40 In for the manufacture OF campaign
literature"
"But you did say that," insisted
Mrs. Johson. 'and you added that you
wouldn't remain around the house
during another fall house cleaning
for a million dollars spot cash.
You
"All right" cut Ia Mr.. Jobson. 81
don't acknowledge that l ever en-.
ployed such an idlotio phrase. hut
we'll let II 30, This. YOU win un.
derstand, IL another year. And. a.
II II another year. other conditions
prevail This year I'm going to do
the whole job OF house cleaning my
self"
Mrs. Jobaop's features contracted
Into an expression OF alarm.
'surely." Ahe began, "you would
not think OF doing anything so fool.
iAh, and getting everything upside
down and In a tangle, and overeNert.
ing yourself, and"
That's all right about my getting
things in q tangle aud oyrrexertlnR
myself. Mrs. JohHon." said Mr.. job,
SON, loftib. Il don't Intend 10 per.
NIT you 10 pick quarrel with me
over this matter As Just an
nonneed. l am going 20 undertake the
fall house cleaning job myself this
year. and i'm going 20 start In at
u the first thing after breakfast TO.
morrow morning.
'Thls house hasn't had a thorough
securing since we've been living In II.
The so.ealied houseelranlngs have
been the meFest bluiTs. Moreover.
the operation usually keeps the house
In miserable. uncomfortable tur.
moll for period ranging from a
week to ten days. during which time
you rush wildly about from room to
room. With a towel bound around
your head, looking like a psraon sui.
ferinR from gunAhot wound. aud
broom In each hand. and the muck
aud dust flying from one piece of
furniture 10 the other. aud the meals
always a couple of hours late. and
not fst 10 eat when they're az length
ready. Now, I'm Raing about this
houMeeleaning job in systematic,
busIness-llke manner. I'm going 10
take the two days leave coming To
me. beginning to-mortow morning.
and III. al the end OF The second das,
this whole OUTFIT. from cellar 10 gar.
ret. isn't looking like new dollar
fresh from the mint. then I'm an
anarchist. that's all. What's more,
you won't knew that anything Nm.
nnual's going on while I'm developing
this transfoFmation srcne. There
will he no wild excitement aud rush.
ing about. and neighhors dropping
In hers won't be able to see single
indication that the fall houseelean.
Ing Il under way. All yowll hare
60 do will be To sit down with your
hands In your lap ana watch me.
You'll unqnesflonAbly derive q grsas
deal Of benefit thereby. and next year,
having proated By a atudy of my sys.
tamatis methods, il may be that you'll
bc abs to give fair imltailon OF my