Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-12
Observation-Disclosures.
THIEVES. $:
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Observation-Disclosures
Old Farmer Smiste lived near one of
the many quiet towns on Long Island
and was looked upon as a well to do,
honest, industrious old covey. The only
trouble he had was this: The negroes
who lived in the nsighborhood found it
SO much easier to raise his chickens than
It wal to raise their own that he found
it exceedingly difficult to count his chick
ems even after they were hatchad.
The old man and bis wife had given
this subject much thought. They had
endeavored to conquer their sable neigh
bors with kindness, to frightsn them col
lectively, SO as to be sure Of touching
the right one, but all to no purpose. The
chickens would disappear. They could
not get a chance to lay for him because
the negroes were continually laying for
them.
At length the old man resolved, like
the old man in the fable, to throw grass
no longer. His house and his hencoop
were his castle, and he resolved to de-
fend it against thieves and aggressors.
This he had been repeatedly urged to
do by his wife and maiden sister-in-law,
a very belligerent female. But, being Of
a mild and forgiving nature, he had thus
far hesitated about taking any san
culinary steps to rout these fowl pro-
cesdings. But now his revolutionary
blood was up.
So one morning he went into the attic
and brought down an old muskst that
had not been loaded in 20 years, and,
placing it behind the door, he told his
wife and sister that he had made up his
mind to shoot the first thief he caught
molesting his hencoop.
But they sneered at the old man and
told him that he hadn't the courage to
load the old muskst, let alone fire it at
any one. This rather touched his pride,
and he secretly resolved to show them
that he meant business. So he went I'M
beknown to them and loaded up the old
piece, but his heart relented after he had
got the powder in, and he mentally re-
solved to give the ebony thieves a chance
for repentance by putting in a charge Of
dried peas instead Of shot.
Thus compromising with his heart, he
placed the old gun back again behind the
door until circumstances called for its
use. After the old man had gone to the
field to work his wife took it into her
head to load the old musket, and, il her
husband failed when the time came, she
resolved to train it herself upon the ras-
Gals and let slip a charge of lead conster-
noxfo,, for TIM hawaii ~ tho thfouou
So she put in a good charge Of powder
and about a handful of large shot and
rammed them well down and then stood
the old relic up again behind the entry
door. She would just show her tender
hearted husband how to deal with such
rascals.
After awhile the sister-in law, Sofanis-
BY, began to revolve the matter in her
mind, and as she had lost several hens
of her own that she priced very highly
she at last got her mad a-going and re-
solved to load the gun, so that her broth
er-in-law could have no excuse should
the thieves again make a raid upon their
domestic outposts.
S~ofanisby was a woman Of iron nerve.
She had never had a husband to i'll use,
and consequently she was chuck full Of
the milk of human weakness and re-
solved on getting happy by killing an
African. So she stole softly out into the
entry, and, taking the old musket up
stairs, she proceeded to load 1t heavily
with powder aud shot, after which she
primed and placed it back again behind
the door.
That very night, after all save the old
farmer were asleep, there was trouble.
He raised his head and heard the hens
grumbling about something. Here, then,
was a chance to vindicate his spirits;
here was a chance to show his family
what he could do. Stealing cautiously
out Of bed, he proceeded down stairs and
seized his (t)rusty old musket.
Going into the kitchen, he cautiously
raised a window that looked toward the
coop, where the hens were still complain.
ing about the way something was being
done to them, and, running the barrel
out, he trained it in the direction Of the
hen orchard. It was as dark as down
cellar, but he knew by the mutterings
which way to point his machinery Of de.
struction, 80 he pointed it and pulled
back the hammer.
Then he hesitated and wondered what
would come Of it.; but, remembering how
his wife would most likely ridicule him
If he faltered now, he resolved to stir
them up with a pea or two, and so, shut.
ting his eyes close together, he blazed
away.
The next instant the old man went
rocketing through a china closet, over
the stove and in among the milk pans
and finally took a flying leap backward
through a window on the opposite side
Of the kitchen, where he lost his identity
for a few moments.
In the meantime some of those peas
and shot had penetrated the hides Of the
thieves, and they retired alarmed and
disguised, while his wife and sister.in.
law, being thus rudely awakened, began
to scream fire and murder just as much
as their lungs would admit Of. Finally
they procured a light and went to look
for the head Of the family and find out
whether there was an earthquake going
on or not.
Sofanisby, in her nervousness and anx'
iety, tumbled down stairs, and that scar.
ed the dame so badly that she ran back
to her bedroom again, and it was quite
awhile before they ventured in quest OF
Smiste, who by this time was just com
ing to his senses again.
II say, Nancy" aaid he as he hobbled
back into the house, II fired 1t, but il
was SO dark that l didn't know that
pointed the wrong end vt EN-"
He would hardly be convinced that be
had not fred the musket wrong end first
until DR.. Smith showed him about 9
pint Of peas and shot that he had picked
from a couple of black patients, but ha
hasn't lost a chicken since.-New Yorb
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