The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-05-11
KANSAS CLIPS AND COMMENTS

Timely spring advice from an ex-
change: A young man about to pop
the question should fret question the
girls pop.
A fortune awaits the man who in
vents tonic which will reproduce
human hair with the rapidity credited
to the Belgian hare.
The "laying on of hands" lie said to
be q sure cure for the cigarette habit
If attended to at the proper time, says
the Smith County Pioneer.
Kansas penitentiary Irvine lie being
sold at 4 cents less per pound than
trust twIne. Even the convicts are
working against the trusts.
Newton and Topeka are both after
the new Santa Fe shops and Topeka
in order to get them is talking Of a
$40 900 bond issue as bonus.
"Sapho" couldn't pbsze Leaven-
worth, the papers calmly announcing
| its presentation on sunday night ana
calling attention to It's history.
Enporia Gazette: Dewey keeps q
valet. Fancy Kansas Democrat
prsncing up to the polls and voting
fer man with valet. Gracious
Peteri
An Olathe paper signs Consist
ency thou are jewel" and then dis
dainfnliy cites the absence Of
ornament Of . contemporary not q
mile away.
Some oculist who will call ut Cha
mute and doctor the local eyeslght so
that the much desired new Santa Fe
depot is visible will have his fortune
ready made.
The Tront) Republican has in
creased the Kansas subscription for
India relief to "100, 000, 900 bushels"
Editor Buck has apparently gone
Into partnership with the General.
An examination OF the city books
showed u Ft. Scott Tribune reporter
that four jointists owed $268 back
'monthly fines" and owing ito the
shortage In the treasury the delin-
quents will have to put up or shut up.
Pitte burg people are in luck as they
will have the privilege Of listening to
talk by man who was priest for
II years. a Baptist minister for 2, an
infidel for 4, and is now q married.
Such luck ranks alongside Of a four
ring circus in one ring.
Az the HiAwatha high school
alumni banquet one of the girls
called on for q speech revolted thus:
There never was a rose without thorn,
There's fuzz on all the peaches.
And there never was banquet given
without a lot OF speeches"
Out at Sterling they elbow" the
curfew, which is another proof that
the day OF poetic idealism 10 being
superseded by frosty facts, Think Of
an elocutionist moving an audience
to tears with "CuItew shall not blow
tonight"
The Emporia Gazette, the Wichita
Eagle and the Leavenworth Times
are leading a fierce fight to discover II
the State funds are deposited with
Topeka banks contrary to law. A
casual glance At the line up inclines
one to believe that somebody will be
"hurted."
They are carrying wreaths OF wild
flowers to the grave of Reno county
assessor. While nosing about farm
yard letting wagons, machinery,
chickens and hogs, he ran up to an
automobile, and the guide book CIV
ing him ne hint ~ to Its value IL O.
hook was fatal.
The modest editor of the GaloAa
Times, ne he virtuously Peeks through
his fingers, cites reform women to
shoe Advertisements which show more
than q lAdy's foot, declaring them
"enough to make modest men blush
to find themselN es alone with . news
paper In their hands"
A jointist down In Montgomery
county was sentenced to jail and, sus-
pecting some young men of being his
accusers, he handed In O list of 125
youths who had shot craps In his
place. The 125 paid their fines and
now are swearing information agaisst
the Iointist. II that jointist gets the
usual 80 days he will be soaked for
ten years and then some.
The good folk who are going to
legislate so that all men shall be
equal in wealth might devote some
spare time to people like the railroad
man who got $500 In damages from
railroad company and spent 1t all in
two weeks spree Fat TT. Scott.
When he sobered up and started out
after a job he joined the "great army
of idle, down trodden, thorn crowned
poor"
Marsh Murdoch breaches against
the "made in Kansas" fad to the ex-
tent of including the grasshopper.
In one week, he says, he read of the
"Kausas grasshopper" being eaten
by the starving garrison in MafskinR,
of their flying in clouds in the Philip
pines and of records being unearthed
in Egypt of their use as food by the
inhabitants of Nippur, 5000 years be-
fore Christ. And yet every redleg on
earth is called the kansas grass