The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-11-25
CIANCY'S TILE OF WOE
THE "JUDGE'' RECITES TRIBULA-
TIONS OF A MAN RUNNING FOR
OFFICE WHEN CALL IN''
MARK FOR THE MOoCHERs
Other FTaternaI Thirsty Organiza-
lions Also Help to Make Life
Miserable for the UnfOr-
tunate Aspirant.

John w Clancy, defeated candidate for
court commissioner on the Democratic
ticket, in observing the law requiring a
statement Of the expense of election,
says:
Now in those days it came to pass
that there arose great and weighty ques-
tons of state and government whereat
and whereby the people of the land be-
came intensely interested and In which
the principal parties presented their Sew
eral platforms wherein much ink, elo-
quence and coin of the realm was spent.
And 1t being meet and just that your
deponent the undersigned, patriotic and
law-abidtng citizen should as such take
part, parcel and interest in said ques-
tons, and being importuned, influenced,
persuaded, bribed, threatened and cajoIed
into allowing and permitting himself to
become burnt-offering for the good
of the party, dissemoled not, but did
accept said nomination of court COM
missioner for said county, a goodly Of
tlce wherein the emoluments Of same are
of lean and starved character, and
your depOnent desires to state that he
is a man of exceedingly mild and gentle
disposition, being filled with charitable
and Christian feelings toward an( and
with malice toward none. But your de-
ponent was sorely distressed on account
of the fact that Prosperity had not
come his way, and the Full Dinner
PafP was, forsooth, in Mark Hanna's
eye, as your deponent has vivid recollec-
lions of having sort of emptiness in
his resceptacles for contents of said
Full Dinner PAIL and is somewhat seri-
ously troubled at the present time with
like emptiness
Therefore, your deponent being vezed
with the shorts and being ''alI in" must
of necessity, and did make a poverty
campaign. Your deponent further states
and set forth herein that at divers and
sundry times and at all time and places
he was grievouSly jumped upon way
laid, held up, f1lched and fntimidated and
sorely set upon by Ye Ancient Order of
United GrafterS, Ye Past Grand of Ye
Moochers, Ye Ancient Land Mark of Ye
Thirsty Ho Bos and Ye United Brethren
of the GROWER, inasmuch that life be-
came burden for verify your deponent
being broke busted and all in,- not
but give the glad hand whereby your
deponent received frost and was count
ed dead one, would be- and like en-
enlargement for which your deponent
was exceedingly grateful and much eIat-
ed in consequence thereof (niO and in
lieu whereof your deponent readily sees
his finish.
Your deponent is constrained in this
connection to say however, that he mary
of opinion and manner in which the edu-
Gated class of this bailiwick exercised
their franchise and made their selection,
wherein and whereby ignorance is placed
as a premium above intelligence, as was
demonstrated by the vote of a certain
section during the late campaign, for
verify was your deponent smote both hip
and thigh, yea, he was jabbed under the
fifth rib and walloped on the solar plexus,
dragged in the mire and entirely put out
But your deponent Is of a long-suffering
and forgiving disposition and wot not
but that in time they may learn to
choose by reason of merit instead of
partisan feelings.
Furthermore, your deponent saith not,
except he did not contribute a rupee or
any money whatsoever on behalf or to-
ward his campaign expense, for. reasons
as aforesaid, he had none.
John W. Clancy.