The Washington weekly post., 1900-05-22
Mr.. B0wSER'S TRlBUIATIONS.
The Reason Why the Bswsers won't Ge 20
the Paris Exposition

| the Paris Exposition.
Mrs BOwssr was in the front hall look.
ing around TO see IL there was q pin or
a shirt button lying around loose for Mr.
bowser TO stumble over and read her a
lesson on extrayagance when he came
running up the steps and almost took the
door OF its hinges as ne entered
What on earth--' she started to say
/ when he seized i,si in his arms aad
| danced about and c-iisd out:
We'll gol Wen go and put in at least
| three months"
The cat came out Of the sitting-roc m
and Joined in the waltz, and it was two
| minutes before Mrs. Bowser got a chance
to ask what it all meant.
1T means the Paris Exposition" he re-
piled. as he ehucked her under the chin.
Hey, little woman, but how does that
strike you?"
You don't mean that we are to go?T
"Of course / do. I've made a ten-strike
! in stocks, and away we go to Paris!
couldn't wait to get home and tell you.
| Does the good news as,onish your"
TIT doesn't seem possible,' she
gasped
Il thought il would take your breath
away. Come on; let's have dinner. En-.
! tootsy woolsy? Going TO see Paris and
the exposition, are your"
Mr.. Bowser was like boy with a new
sled. and Mrs. BOwser was almost dumb
with Sstonishment and anticipation. Twice
during the meal he got up TO go around
10 her and pat her on the head and ask
her how many new dresses she wanted,
and as he put his arm around her to es-
cOrt her upstairs the cat followed on be-
hind and winked az her own whiskers and
said it was something she never saw in
that house in all her life before.
Now. then sveety." said Mr.. Bowser
as he sat down 10 his cigar. in the morn
ing you take SEQ and get an outfit, ana II
that is not enough, take $1,000 | go and
engage passage. buy two new trunks and
What clothes 1 need, and within a month
from to-day we land in Paree with our
hats on our ears"
But l never thought we could 60" she
said.
Probably not. as I didn't know how
things would turn out and didn't want to
raise false hopes. You may have observed.
Mrs. BOWsar. that | never fly off the han
die l just coolly and calmly wait till a
thing is assured before 1 holler over it.
Yes. we are off TO the great expo, and
We II see Europe at last
In her happiness Mrs. Rowser shed
tears.
Come now, toOtsy. none OF that" he
said as he rose up and kissed her. You
deserve all | can do for you. You have
been one of the best little wives any man
ever mad, and | want you 20 know how
iiuCh appreciate II. I've been brusque
anu snort with you sometimes, bat you
nave never doubted my love, have you?"
good husband"
ana | wish every man had as good a
"Ht. Ihere have been times when Won
ousnt to have taken the poker and
,clt y iit4eAed me over the head, but you never
rose your temper Mrs Bowser. 10 Won
Know that sometimes | believe y5u are
an angel from heaven?''
But you mustn't believe that" she re-
pHed, beginning to be a bit alarmed over
ms SoOdy goodness.
but / do. | am an old kicker and
Iault-hnder and deserve to be booted. aud
you are an angel of earth and deserve
~ go!d medals for living with me"
Ana SO We can afford to 20 to Paris
conversation. ''ii Il 'iie
You bet Paris for three months. and
We II I'VE on the fat of the land. Darling.
40 YOU know was thinking of a little in
cldent In our lives as I came m on the
C.,I .s. 1t WAS about our playing eucnre one
evening. do you remember that Won heat
me seven straight games and how mai
got! called you cheat and a sWindIsr
ana L Kicked over chairs and said ia vet
q divorce, and yOu-you-'
On, We forgotten she laughed. do
in two weeks?"
OF course, but l want to talk about
mat ZANE OF euchre. | even tried to make
% Tu peliGEe thaf an ace would take the
joker Ha, IA, hd, As | look back and
remember how mean / was | wonder thar
you didn't pick up chair and fell me to
the hoor. 1t would have served me ;ust
flghL Is II any wonder that when / think
OF these things | call you an angel?''
,foL are a dear, good man, and let's /
taik OF the wardrobe | am to get If
nave TO- have four or five dresses /
And about our old love letters" he in /
terrupted as he began TO walk about.
mere lsn the least doubt that [ wrote (
a heap OF silly nonsense but on two or /
three occasions when you have said I dij /
got mad and raised a rOX Yes. sir. / J
remember of one letter In which | said | B
rad Kissed the tracks you left in a cram
berry swamp, and yet when you told me .
OF 1t; l howled about divorce. My dear .
angel, can you ever pardon me?"
"Of course. Won't you tell me how long .
Il takes to go to Paris?"
About seven days, / think. And there's ]
another thing | want 10 refer to. One day
| came nome and found you on the lounge
with sick headache. You tried To get
Ip and welcome me. but you couldn't. /
on were dreadfully sick but | pity youI
cld l sympathiZe with yOu2 Did | order /
your tea and toast and sit beside you as |
a decent husband should? No! / brutaIly
told YOU that any lady who would walk |
around the block barefooted ought TO have
seventeen sick headaches, and / left you
10 the mercy Of the cook and bounced off
10 the club Mrs. Bowser, can yOu-will
yOu-ha! What's that|'
Mr. BOwser stood stiffly erect in the
middle OF the room and pointed TO one
If the back windows The cat stood be-
,ide him and looked in the same direc-
ion.
yes, the glass is cracked" said Mrs.
Bowser a boy threw stone from the
alley"
Cracked! Ruined. Destroyed hoarse-
v Whispered Mr. BOWser, with his finger
Till pointing. And this Is the way you
un my house! This h the way my wife
oOks after my interests
But boy threw stone" she protest
"A boy! 4 stone. And you were rIgh:
lere?"
yes. but how could I help itY'
How 10 I help it, Are the stones
brown when / am here. Fifty dollars /
Torth Of glass ruined through your want
II caTel It's no use-nO Use''
THAT pane only cost 70 cents. and I say
hat ! can't stand in the alley and pre-
rent boys from throwing"
Mrs. BOwser. We need not discuss the |
natter further" he said. az he turned |
iway. Il came home with a heart full
u love and kindness 10 find my home in
scene Of ruin and desOldtiOn. This ends |
,ur going abroad"
But you won't give up the trip because |
/ boy cracked a pane Of glass. viii you?'
Il viii. The triD IL Of There will be
20 Paree, Parii or Paris for US this year. |
{ IS not the broken glass ! look at, but !
he principle Of the thing As a wife AMI
hOusekeeper you are Il fiat failure For /
nything YOU might do To- prevent. this I
.ouse could be torn down and carried
~ Is the hOOdlums
But how foolish Of"
That VIII do. Woman-that will do I |
ave given YOU trial after trial, and il las
lways resulted the same way-ruin and !
lesOlatiOn. / have no doubt the hack
ence IS broken down. the WOOdshed car
ieG Of. and most Of the foundations Of
he house removed Our money will be