The Opelousas courier., 1900-01-06
HIS SEVENTH WIFE
Comic Fate Of a BackWoods BIuebeard.


Sam Tuggins was preparing to fake
nnto himself q wife. He had taken
to greasing his boots and wearing
white shirts on Sundays. What rea-
son was there for doubt after that?
Sam Tuggins had been married be-
fore to some extent. He had, to put
it mildly, enjoyed a large and promis-
cuous assortment CT wives during his
time.
Sam had been married six times, to
be exact about it, and he was not,
strictly speaking, an old man yet. AS
he frequently iocuiarly remarked, he
was good to ontlive a half dozen more
wives if he continues to have ordinar-
lily good health.
So, being q widower for the sixth
time, he was preparing to take unto
himself the seventh wife. It was not
known yet who would have the honor
of becoming Mrs. Tuggins VII. Tug
gins, even, was not decided on that
point.
One day he rode over to Beckett's
mill, and he and Beckett in o little
friendly conversation fell to discuss
ing this matter.
"I'm going to marry" Tuggins
said. "That much is settled, and I'm
going to marry right away, too. I've
got to have a wife, for I need her, and
need her bad. It's been three months
since my last one died, and as a CON
sequence of having nobody to look
after matters, everything about the
house is going to waste and ruin"
Cant find anybody that suits you?"
Beckett asked.
"Yes; I have had two women in
mind" Tuggins replied. Either,
would d. very well, but the question
is, which would suit me best"
"fou can't decide, eh?"
.No, I can't. If I could I wouldn't
be fooling away all this time without
q wife"
ST can believe that, Tuggins. But
do you mind telling me what two
women you have in mind?"
"Of course not. One of them is
the widow Smart, and the other is
Miss Wofford. They are both likely
women, Beckett, aud I calkilate either
of 'em would make me a good wife,"
"Miss Wofford is the Youngest and
best looking of the two" Beckett
suggested.
Eyes, and her age is . right smart
In her favor" Tuggins said. shut I
don't go a cent on looks. My opinion
is that beauty don't count for any,
thing in a wife's favor. The beauti-
fullest woman going amt likely to do
any more work or bring in one more
dollar than the home,iest old plug you
can scare up. What I want is a wom-
an who will be helpful-one that can
turn her hand to. all kinds of work,
and who amt afraid to do it,"
'aThen you rather lean toward the
widow"
"No, I can't say as I do. They're
both got. their strong p'ints. Miss
Wofford's strong pint is her age.
Bein' young. she's likely to live longer
than the other. That's a heap in her
favor. for I tell you this burying and
marrying wives is expensive when it
comes ON a man so often. Bnt on the
other hand the widow offers advan-
tages. She's a good worker, she's
economical, and she's tough. For a
woman OF her age she's strong and
healthy, and after all she may possibly
outlive the other.
"Maybe the women themselves
would help you out" Beckett sug-
gested.
How" Tuggins inquired.
"You haven't asked either of them
yet whether she would marry you,
have yon?"
stNo."
trThen maybe one Of them won't. -
Tuggins looked at Beckett in blank
astonishment, as though he did not
know whether the man was crazy or
only joking. At last he said:
"Have you got an idea, Beckett,
that either of them two women is a
natural born fool?'
"No, I reckon not" Beckett re-
piled.
"Then where did you get hold Of
the idea hat one of them might de-
cline to marry me?"
ooh, I just thought one of them
might. You know some women are
rather queer about such things as
marrying.
sIt don't matter how queer they
are, I reckon if they amt fools they
won't throw away the chance Of their
lives. Don't you be uneasy, Beckett,
about either OF them women ~refusin'
to marry me, for they'll not refuse,
eonsiderin' all I've got to offer 'em."
Beckett smiled, for he well knew
how much good Tuggins' wives had
got from their husbands possessions.
He recalled how the past Mrs. Tug
ginses had been compelled to do the
work Of two women, in and about the
house, and IN addition had besn re.
CURED to do almost q mans work III
the raising of the crops. He remem-
bered, too, that one calico dress every
year, d pair OF cheap, misft shoes, and
m inexpensive bonnet was about ali
the good they got as the result Of tssal
laboTs.
Tuggins sal for senae time deeply
AFFORDED In thought; then he arose
and said:
ssRscketf, gaess Ill Il AIRY The young