The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-08-26

friendly lamp post and 1t looked Hke ~
Fitzsirnmons- Sharkey clinch. He had been
there probably for an hour trying 10 con-
vince that lamp post that Alexander ine
Great was the first cousin to Henry VII.
by the latters marriage to Cleopatra ana
that he had proof for 1t that JULIUS Cedset
never could play golf.
lyon shee ish jus ttlsh AWAY he eX-
planned Julius, Chic) OF boy, wash all
right sho long he stayed on hish native
heath but ne (hicl could never paysn the
anshient (ilic) honorable (hic) game OF
golf, less he Qlico hash golf Chic) trousi1ers
on. That he didn't Qhic). Now ainsho OF
fel. Ell? Chic) Now 1 know wash I'm
dlic) talkin' bout. Course, whole lot Clic)
fcllars runnin' bout here to-day (hlc) wear
in golf trousilers an don't know ash
,nush bout the anshient (hic) honorable
game an does a mule bout shshteen 20
one Clic), but my frien' julius OF boy.
he hash all the troubles (ilic) ------''
Move on there. old man. what's your
trouble?" inquired one of Chief Howard's
minions, who happened along.
Trash iush it, replied julius Caesars
friend, TROUBLES (hic) all kin troubles.
Nowyer shee (lic) julius, ash l wash
shaving (lic) he -
Whats that. eh?" inquired the blue
coat. Come now, go on home"
No shir. C1ic) 1 don't wanter to go home
thic). Ash ! wash shayin'. Julius, he -.
Come on now. come on said the cop
per. Come -
shay OF man, do YOU know Glic) why
washer mellans have washer in 'em?"
The policeman acknowledged his ignor
ance on that point. taking occasion to
state that The subject was not mentioned
in .Howard's manual or in Hoyle.
"Thash easily responded the inebriate,
Ohio don't Know. I'll tell you. cause
the sheeds is planted in the creek.
The cop run him in for insulting the
majesty of the law.
''4ey. there. conductor. stop the car"
frantically yelled the passenger
what fur?' quried the knight of the
cord.
Can't We see?" angrily retorted the
passenger. as the car gave another lurch
and sent the suit case rafting on the
cohhles
The car stopped at the next corner and
the angry passengers still talking. leaped
from it. He was still talking about the
biankety-bianlS fool ideas that some people
had. while he walked back for about
square picking up vest here. q coat there
and various other articles of wearing APP
parel that had been scattered along the
track from the place where the suitcase
came open.
There is well-known resident of
Park Avenue who is quite favorite at
the club and spends MANI evenings with
the BOYS The BOYS are still! laughing about
how the Park Avenue resident told the
truth, the whole truth and nothing but the
truth, when he didn't want the whole
think known.
The rark-Avenue man returned home In
the wee sma' hours. one morning after
spending the usual time with the boys, and
was net bv his better half. who had
waited for him.
You ought to be ashamed she began,
coming home at this 6isgraceful hour
and -.
My dear. I tllic> -
Don't you my dear me- angri1y in
terrupted the wife. land You are drunk,
drunk as usual"
no. my dear fhicl. Tn drunken
The wife told her friend. who under the
nledre of absolute secrecy told another
friend 1t is all over the club now, but
tho Park-Avenue resident denies he ever
said it.