The daily sentinel., 1900-08-25
Se7tiqel S1ortoakes

Fixed weather for the crops,
But geared it automobile gait,
And cant control the stops
--Gasoot.
Like the heart OF a tree, dogs tail is
farthest from the bark.
Like heroes Of other great events, the
shirt waist mans efforts will probably
never be appreciated until after he is
dead.
About the slickest job on record is
that recently reported from Salt Lake,
where hobo stole four cells from hsh
monger.
An exchange says that on account Of
the abnormal grape crop this year. ap-
pendicitis specialists are reaping a rich
harvest.
more helpless than a man in similar
condition because she has such little
fool handkerchief
Portable postoffices are being intro
duced by Uncle Sam. This idea should
save the willy postoffiee robber the trou-
BILE and annoyance Of stopping to open
the safe.
EVERY DOG has ITS DAY."
The shirt waist surely should not cause
Sane men to lose their reason;
Nor will it do 30 if they pause
Till past the silly season.
-4azoot.
At San Francisco the other day Sam
Weller was arrested and in the absence
Of par ticulars an inquisitive public will
wonder what the Dickens it was all
about. 7-D
The report that the twentieth century
will have IS leap years will no doubt
cause hurry scurry scramble amongst
ambitious spinsters in vain effort to
pair off before the time is up. d
The fact that American soda foun-
tains are fast being introduced into Eng
land, would indicate that John Bull is
at last beginning to realize the necessity
of serving the real thing. r. sai
With tho resumption Of the National
Glass Works this week at Hittsburg a
short-sighted public will no doubt eager
ly scan the market reports in vain Tor q
drop in the price Of spectacles.
A Salt Lake Judge advertises "Mar-
riages while you watt" but what the
restless western citizen wants is the
above mentioned necessity served up
quickly without haying to wait.
Grand Junction will be hospitable
during Peach week but the unsophisti-
Gated visitor must look out for the man
who tries to overdo it by inviting him to
inspect our Brown Palace" hotel.
MODERN ooNvENIKNoss.
A modern undertaken, he
Who thinks his "ad" the best,
''You simply kick the bucket, we,"
He says, will do the rest"
-Gazoot,
II any unkind remarks are made about
the sidewalks during Peach week let all
loyal citizens just tell the visitors they
are rag time sidewalks, up-to- date. and
intended to be that way. ,.f
1uo man WHO eOlt6 Cno D0lC6 LADOror
thinks he would be in Jail half the time
IL he published everything everybody re-
quested him to. but fails to mention any
thing about the other follow being in the
hospital. ~. t. ..-..-
A petrifled mao, gaily attired in
shirt waist has been" recently dug up
in the southern part OF the state, thus
again demonstrating the truth OF the old
adage about there being nothing new
under the sun. rrors 81
1t is reported that a new political
party composed entirely Of select folks
who have been operated on for appsndi-
citis is about to be formed and it will be
conceded by all that such combination
should put up good .'stiff" ticket.
In personal yesterday the Kopjville
Excuse says: "The many friends Of Mr..
Harry Nix will much regret to learn
that while on his way home at a late
hour last night he was brutally assault
ed by two hold ups. but was not killed."
~