The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1900-11-01
HIS FOLKS.IN.LAW
An Old Joke Proved False.
hVXT HATS the matter, June Bride

my looks do not belle my feelings.
feel out of sorts" answered the young
man, disconsolately.
whats the matter, young man?"
asked Mr.. Golden Wedding, cheerfully.
mad because you couldn't go to the
front, or did that wonderful baby keep
you up all night"
ooh, if that baby howled from dark
till day I wouldn't get up to touch it,
retorted June Bridegroom, in an in
jured tone. "No, the baby isn't bother
ing me and I've ceased to want to go
to the front. The fact of the matter is,
Mr.. Golden Wedding, I'm expecting
some interesting charges and attacks
and skirmishes ut home this summer,
to say nothing of a little bushwhacking
and guerrilla warfare"
"Tut, tut; tell me what's the matter"
said the old man.
"Folks-in-law," was the answer, de-
livered with feeling. They're coming,
my wife's mother, her two sisters, her
brother, who is college Junior, and
her 12-year-old brother, who is-well,
was about to say the very devil him
self, but l won't. Yes, they're coming,
next week, and they're coming to stay
through the month. BY Jove, how 1
dread it! But guess / ought to stand
it since folks-in-law are necessary evils.
l never could understand why some
of my married friends used to advise
me as u bachelor to marry girl, who,
like Topsy. jes' growed, girl without
a relative in the world. l understand
now. You see know what am talk
ing about, Mr.. Golden Wedding. l had
'em for a month last summer, and it's
awful
Mr.. Golden Wedding fairly roared.
Then he remarked: You talk about
your wife's relatives as if they were
Jim jams"
I'm like the small boy who never
could see the difference between cause
and effect" said June Bridegroom.
you're SO well along in years that
suppose your folks-in-law have all
died."
"Yes," answered the old man, with
a sigh of unaffected regret, "l'm sorry
to say they are dead. The happiest
memory of the past is the visits that
we used TO have from my folks-in-law,
and Mrs. Golden Wedding says she loves
nothing better than to think over the
happy hours spent with her people-in-
law. l know you think me crazy, be-
cause nine men and nine women out
of every ten run down their folks-in-
law. They begin to do this because
they think it is the proper thing to
do 1t becomes second nature with them,
and finally man and wife end by really
disliking each others relatives. That's
a most unjust thing to do, and it makes
life far less comfortable and smooth for
couple. June Bridegroom, take the
advice of an old man and experienced
one in all points of matrimony; learn
to be fond of your folks-in-law, and
teach your wife to be fond of hers.
You ask how? This way. DO not treat
them as folks-in-law. You know my
wife and l were married SO years ago
last December. The term 'in-law' has
never once been used in our family in
reference to our own relatives.
My mother was the dearest lit
tie white-haired woman in the
world. When I took my sweet
heart home for the first time after
our engagement was announced she
met her and said: You are my daugh-
ter, dear, and l am your mother. You
have just as much right in this home,
just as much right to our love as my
own daughter has, and 1 want you to
begin now to call me mother. l never
want the term "in-law" to enter your
mind, much less pass your lips about
this family, and want my son to feel
exactly the same way about your
parents and sisters and brothers. Let
this be one marriage in which no in
laws figure. was amazed and SO was
my sweetheart. but the idea took right
hold of us both. 1 can tell you, June
Bridegroom, Mrs. Golden Wedding
acted like the brick that she is. She
called my father and mother just what
! called them, and stranger would
never have imagined that she was q
prospective daughter-in-law instead
Of an own daughter. I took the cue
from her and treated her family In
the same way. or rather accepted them
on the very same terms, and tell you
the three families spent many happy
days together. One day, when every
member on both sides was visiting at
our house, my wife spoke Of how thank
full she had been to my mother for
bringing about such tender relation.
ship.
"'How did you ever come to suggest
that we do away with the term
''in-law," or, better still, that we dc
away with all "in-laws," motherT ]
asked.
"'Because had such n miserah HE ex.