davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
AS SEEN BY A PHILOSOPHER.

Some people use apologies, instead
of money, in paying debts.
Don't work a friend in the interest
of a stranger. Lots of people do it.
While lying is not commendable,
some judgment should be displayed in
telling the truth.
If you must quarrel, make it so hot
for the opposition that he will suggest
a compromise, and peace.
There is young man in Atchison
who is generally admired; he quit So
ciety and went to work.
When man who boards meets one
who keeps house, each is reminded of
causes for envying the other.
An Atchison woman is such big Cos
sip that her neighbors dread to see her
come in, and beg her not to go.
The average man is told of his mean
ness so often that IL will come in the
nature of shock to him when Saint
Peter let's him into Heaven.-Atchison
Globe.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

American and Australian butter is
rapidly crowding the German article
from the English market.
The production of prunes is increas-
ing rapidly in Oregon, the annual
shipment OF the. dried fruit now
amounting to 500 cars.
The production of soap in Great
Britain is about $4,000 tons per week,
of which between 5000 and 1000 tons
are made in London.
America sells nearly three times as
much as she buys; Germany buys over
e 50,000,0O0 worth more every year
than she sells; while Great Britain
last year actually bought twice as
much as she sold.
Were it not for matter floating in
suspension in sea water-minute liv-
ing organisms and air bubbles due to
the breaking of the waves, all of which
reflect light-the ocean, looked down
into, would be as black as the black
est dyestuff, for in that case none of
the suns rays, having once penetrated
it, would return to it's surface.
Alcohol and vinegar are effective an
tidotes for carbolic acid poisoning, a
New York doctor announces. What
ever quantity of the poison has been
swallowed, four times as much whis-
ky or five times as much vinegar
should be administered Immediately.
No oil of any kind should be given.
'"Thus treated early enough" he adds,
"all cases will recover"
That consumption does not run IN
families, but does run in houses, is the
theory of Sir Richard Thorne, who ad-
dressed the London Medical society re-
Gently. ''Refuse to live on damp
subsoil,'' was his advice; until people
ceased to live under unfavorable con-
ditions, they need hope for little
diminution in the consumption death
rate. The improvement of sanitary
appliances had, in the last IS years,
reduced that rate nearly so per cent.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
EMBARRASSED SAVANTS.
A Paris Pathological Institute Falls
Heir to q Notorious
Dance Hall.

Paris has another attraction for icr
exposition in the shape of philolog-
ical rance hall.
A certain NJ. Douiaus has died and
left share of the income of his prop
erty to the Academic des Inscriptions
ct Bellies Lettres. Now the special
province of the Academic des Inscrip-
tons is philology and archaeology.
and it is the most dried up and fossil
like department. in the Institute de
France, while the learned scholars who
are attracted to it have as little active
interest in the frivolous everyday
world as have the Egyptian mummies.
The property-the income from which
is to enrich the academie-is nothing
more nor less than a notorious Pa
risian dance hall known as the ''Salle
Wagram."
During his lifetime NJ. Doulaus, it
seems, had never shown even a pass
ing interest in Philology, and his
posthumous enthusiasm in archaeology
to these learned gentlemen, and may
give rise to more or less ludicrous
complications, inasmuch as the ques-
ton naturally presents itself: Will i:
be meet ssary for the venerable menu
bers of the acade1.. e to administer"
the estate and operate the dance hall
for the benefit of their learned insti-
tuition? The incident is teeming with
situations for a good writer of farcical
comedy. If the late Sam T. Jack mad
bequeathed the income of his theater
to a divinity school, the case would
he somewhat similar to the predlca-
ment in which the Partisan archaeol-
ogists now find themselves. What with
the influx of visitors to Paris
which the exposition will bring, the
learned members-if speculatively in.
clined-have great opportunity
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23

colonel in five seconds, but cannot
give him a regiment" Then he added,
with characteristic kindness: "Go
and see Gen. Hatch, who has charge Of
exchanges. If he will grant your re-
quest I shall not interfere"
The next person in line, according
to Mr.. Bundy, was man with some
alleged letters of loyalty from Mary
land ex-governor. AS he handed the
documents to the president another
man caught what had been said and
interrupted the conversation to inform
Mr.. Lincoln that the papers must be
forgeries, as the ex-governor had been
dead for several years. The man who
had presented the letters collapsed.
and Lincoln, with that peculiar pity
which he would often show even to
those who least deserved it, replied:
"Oh, never mind, sir; never mind, sir;
it is far more interesting. l would
rather get letter from dead man
than from live man any day."
The third to lave conversation
with the president was Wall street
OxOAC1, "CA AlONA IA AVG" l. OAN u0
an adventurer, who wanted to be made
assistant secretary of the treasury, so
as to relieve the government, to use
his own phraseology, by floating an
issue of bonds. His plan was to bor-
row for the government certain
amount OF money on a pledge of $780,
100000 CT United States bonds, which
were to be issued as collateral for the
payment of the loan. The plan of tho
schemer evidently was to break tho
price of bonds and then get possession
of them at quotation less than the
market, for his margin was very mar
row indeed. The president listened
patiently until the man was through,
and then, looking straight at him, said.
impressively: my friend, that is a
mighty good plan for getting bonds
for less than they are worth, and very
we'll thought out, but" here he shook
his head, don't ask me to help you
in it,
At last came Mr.. Bundy's turn. He
told Mr.. Lincoln, by way of introduce
ton, that he had been a Lincoln cleo
tor, and that what he wanted to ask
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
Post Office in u Rock.

Recently, consequent on the institu-
ton of a house-to-house delivery of let
tiers in the district of Morven, Argyll
shire, one of the most primitive post
offices in the United Kingdom has fall
en- into desuetude. 1t had never re-
ceived the sanction of the postmaster
general, nor was it amenable to any
of the stringent rules governing other
offices. Situated high up among the
lonely hills, half way between Drimnin
and Barr, and about three miles from
the nearest habitation, it consisted of
a simple slit in the rock, closed up by a
nicely fitting stone. In the good old
times, and, indeed, until quite recent
ly, when any letters for Barr and neigh
boring places came to Drimnin post Of
fee they were carried by the first avail
able shepherd or crofter to this isolated
depository in the rock. Here they were
left, sometimes for many days, until
there should happen to come that way
some other shepherd or crofter who
might feel inclined to find it convenient
to deliver them at their destination
n. Y. journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
CHEAP HYDROGEN GAS.
Under New Process 1t Is Obtained for
Nothing as a By-PrOduct
from Acetylene.

Almost the only demand for hydro
gen gas, except in small quantities for
laboratory use, is for filling balloons,
and these are now of such value in mill
tary service that the question of the
cost of the gas is an important one.
Until recently the favorite method of
producing it was to resolve water into
its constituent elements by electricity.
If both the oxygen and the hydrogen
could be utilized, the cost of the latter
would be about 81 confines, or ten
cents, cubic meter. But French
mining engineer, NJ. Hubou, has found
a much more economical means of pro-
curing the gas.
The new plan is to manufacture lamp
black from acetylene gas, an operati ion
that yields hydrogen as a by-product,
and inasmuch as the lampblack can be
sold for more than the cost of the ma
terials needed to make it, the hydrogen
can be had for practically nothing.
Acetylene, it is hardly necessary to say,
is derived most cheaply from calcium
carbide. This substance having been
Immersed in water, gives off an abund-
ance of the gas. NJ. Hubou incloses a
certain amount in stout steel cylinder,
under a pressure of two .atmospheres,
BY means of filament like that of an
incandescent lamp he ignites the ace
tylene. 1t is decomposed abruptly,
though without violence. Nevertheless,
the operator is advised to stand at dis
lance from his apparatus when he
turns on the electric current. When
the acetylene is broken up, it gives rise
to lampblack, which is deposited on the
walls of the cylinder, and to free n.y.
drogen. So much of the latter is pro-
duced that the pressure in the cylinder
rises during the process to about Is at
mospheres, or nearly 400 pounds to the
inch. On opening valve the operator
allows the hydrogen to flow off into. a
separate reservoir.
A kilogram of acetylene costs about
franc. 1t produces Is grammes of
hydrogen, or more than cubic meter,
and 925 grammes of lampblack. 1t is
asserted that this amount of lampblack
has higher value than the carbide
needed to make it. 1t is a rather curious
aspect of this discovery that acetylene
is about as heavy gas as air, but it is
used to make the lightest gas vet
known.-N. Y. Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
Heard His Name.

The following story is told in the
life OF the late Archbishop Benson by
his son about the archbishop's favor
ite dog Watch: my father was read
ing the lesson, which was the thir-
teentn chapter o. st. Mark, in which
the word watch occurs several times.
The dog, who had been slumbering
peacefully, became very restless, and
us the bishop ended with the words:
what 1 say unto you, say unto AL,
watch in a very imperious voice,
there followed great scuff1ing and
scratching, and Watch emerged hast
lily fre1n his place and proceeded to the
door of my fathers stall.' - Troy
Times
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
DADS COAT.
I used to think tn measly way
xr,oe %1,,-I,

used to think tn measly way
They treated me was tough
An what thought used to say,
And say it pretty rough.
An ma she'd kind o. calm me down.
An mebby kiss me, too,
An say: "There's lots O. boys in town
That has it worse than you"
I couldn't understand, you see,
Why We was always. skimped;
The other boys spent money free,
Their mas an sisters primped,
But we just seemed to scrape along
An never git ahead:
An when asked ma what was wrong,
PAS paying debts" she said.
But worse for me than all the rest
Was wearin' dads old clothes:
Ma made 'em over just tn best
That she an sister knows:
But, lordy me, they had no style
From ankles up to throat.
TIL pants just made the fellows smile
They hollered at the coat.
I always felt so 'shamed an mean
I'd sneak around to school,
For fear tn grammar girls had seen
Me logged out like a fool.
But row their Sneers I never note,
Nor care for what they've said;
I'm proud an tender with tn coat
For dad. dear dad, is dead!
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
Austria's Crown.

The Austrian emperor's crown was
receatly photographed in order to COR
rect imperfect representations of it on
coins and official documents. The
crown is regarded as one of the finest
works of European goldsmiths. The
material alone is worth $500, 000.-N.
7. Sun
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
Our Trade in the Tranxvaal.

An American piano, retailing here for
5000, fetches $500 in the Transvaal. An
organ worth $50 here sells for $3.50 there.
American saddles and harness don't suit
the Beers, the former being too high
priced and the latter too fine for the
rough overland work of trekking. In
the canned meat line Australia so far
undersells Chicago that our packers
are in despair. Our manufacturers sold
over 700 tons of barbed wire in 1897 to
the Transvaal, but, strange to say, the
fence posts came from Germany and
England. Four ice plants were fur
nished for the Kimberley mines by Chi
cago, having an aggregate capacity Of
20 tons day, besides 100000 cubic feet
of cold storage.-N. Y. Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
Probable Settlement.

George-What will your father set
tie on the man that marriesy ~?
Milly-All the rest of the family.
probably.-Scranton Republican.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
Why Eta Turned Dawn

Mabei-Why is the lamp superfluous
In !ove-making?
Alice-I suppose it's because love is
blind-Judgs. -
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23

To anyone who wants to make money
the Chicago Record suggests'that there
is good opening for restaurant in
Ladysmith.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23

Crank Better Than FOOL.
The crank has but one idea-the
fool none.-Chicago Daily Newx
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23

In 1850 there were Q, 900 tons of steel
made in the whole world. In 1898 the
United States alone made o,075, 900 tons.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
To Rover.

TO FtOVer.
A faithful companion, more loving and
trustworthy, more constant than man..
Sir H. Sebon-Gordon, Bart.
The time will surely come when the
Washington dog and cat graveyard will
be SO attractive that pet animals will
fade away and die in the hope of being
inferred in such a congenial and beau
tiful spot.-Washington Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
"Reftv -

And when at length MY own life's work is
Ger
L hope to find her waiting as of yore,
Eager, expectant, glad to meet me at the
door,
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1900-01-05

The monthly statement Of the public
debt shows that at the close of business
Dec. 80 the debt, less cash in the treasury,
amounted to 81 1874, 3O0,O07, a decrease for
the month of So, 79l ,S24.
Emanuel H. Hershey, treasurer of Lam
caster county, Pa, has been absent from
home since Dec. "a, and the county audi
tor has announced shortage of more than
$6j, 900 in Mr.. Hershey's accounts.
The father of civil service reform was not
Dorman b. Eaton but Thomas A. Jenckes
of Rhode Island. Mr.. Ea,on's rank in the
reform was high and his work began early
hut Mr.. Jenckes was there first New
York Tribune.
The United States quartermaster's tug,
Resolute, was sunk in Boston harbor We'd
nesday evening in collision with the
steel ocean tug, Swatara. All on board
are believed TO have been saved, except the
engineer, who has not been found.
The state department has cabled to Am.
bassador Choate at London, directing hin
to inform the British government that the
United States does not admit the right Of
England TO seize cargoes of American
goods on the three merchant vessels which
were recently overhauled by British wa
ships off the South African coast. This Il
the usual preliminary step looking to Al
investigation Of the subject, which, it i
believed, will be satisfactorily adjusted.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1900-01-05
The 2Oth CentnrY.

1t is not a little surprising that there
should be so many well. educated people
who believe that the year 1900 is the first
year of the goth century. A brief exami-
nation Of so simple a question ought TO
settle IL without much more controversy.
Starting with the year 1, A. D., begin
ming the year on the 31st of December at
midnight, the first century was not com
pleted on the 3lst of December 90, for 80
is not 100; it required all of the year 100 TO
complete the century. Therefore, the
next year, 101, was the first year of the
second century. Following this simple
chronology down through the centuries, 1t
will be found that the closing year of each
century has ended with two zeros instead
of two mines, while the next year, begin
ming the new century, has ended with one
zero, followed by the figure /, indicating
the first year OF the next century. Hence
the 10Th century began with the year 1901
and will not be completed till the 31st of
December 1900 at midnight. II by any
juggIery 90 can be made to count 100, then
1t may appear that 1900 is the frst year of
the goth century. Another way remains
by which the year 1900 can be enormously
counted as the beginning of the 20th cen
tury, and there is strong suspicion that
the error originated here. Thisis to count
in the year /, B. G.. But in that case a
year Is added to the Christian era that does
not belong to IL. Sc G..
Wilmington, VT.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1900-01-05
SOUTH WINDHAM.

Stephen Pratt of South WardsborO visited
at S. A. Holden's Friday.
Lorenzo Salter has moved from his farm
in the north part of the town into the par
sonage.
Rev. Clark Robbins gave a sciopticon
entertainment Friday evening. Mr.. Rob-
bins's mother was Eliza Chapman, daugh-
ter of Jabez Chapman, of thiS town.
James Francis died last Saturday morn
ing after a short illness. He was the
Youngest son of Gilbert and Martha Fran
els and was born in Providence, r. l.,
July /, 1872. He came here with his
mother 10 years ago, after the death of his
father. He made many friends, being of
iovial nature and very kind-hearted. His
health had not been good for two or three
years. The funeral was held Monday,
being we'll attended. The service was con-
Quoted by Rev. Charles D'Altry. Mrs.
Nettie Kingsbury and Miss Carrie j.
Pigott sang. He leaves mother and two
brothers, Charles, of Providence, and Sim
con, who is a travelling man in Kansas.
W. G. Adams and Miss Francelia Hast
| ines were united in marriage Jan. 2, 1875,
by Rev. <. j. Ward, and Tuesday evening
about so of their friends gathered at their
home to help them celebrate their silver
wedding. The evening passed very pleas
antly with music, the reading of an original
poem by Mrs. Abbie M. Goodell, and one
composed by Mrs. L. B. Chapman and
read by Mrs. Hazen Goodell. Many valu-
able gifts were left which were presented
by C. Q. Stebbins in his usual happy way,
TO which Mr.. Adams responded. We no
ticed as present from abroad @. Q. Steb-
bins and daughter Ruby, Mr.. and Mrs
Henry Twitchell and daughter of Towns
bend, Leon Grout of Newfane, Miss Maud
Butler of East Jamaica and Mr.. and Mrs
Charles Hastings of Springfield. Eight
children have been born to Mr.. and Mrs
Adams, of whom seven are living, and al
live at hone except Charles, who live:
near. Mr.. Adams lives on the old Adams
farm which has always been in the family
his grandfather and afterwards his fathe
and for a short time Mr. Howard, who
married a sister of G. w. Adams's father
having owned it.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1900-01-05
The HEADING Terror.

Wordsworth was a terror to his
friends. His pull was genteel, but very
dexterous. He could fash an Ms. on you
before you could say, GOOD morning.
He read all of the Excursion" to
Lamb, and Hazlitt once wrote to Cole
ridge, II tried to escape Wordsworth,
because l knew he had u new poem
with him, but he finally oornered me. l"
In Yesterdays With Authors, !"
James T. Fields innocently tells Of how
Wordsworth graciously read aloud to
him poem, seemingly not aware that
Wordsworth was always lying in wait
for his prey. Il am blest with great
bodily vigor, wrote Leigh Hunt, $50
do not much object to having Byron
read to me from his MS"
So we see that the desire to read ones
productions to some one else is a classic
condition. |, myself, occasionally tax
the patience of a good woman, although
never, like John Jerome Rooney, took
a lady out to lunch and read play tc
her, and then walked off, forgetting tC
order anything to eat.-Philistine.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1900-01-05
Relief and OverbeIief.

There are all sorts of arrested develop
ments in life-the criminals, the bar
barians, the monomaniaos of weird or
shameful desires. But we question if
any of these survivals Of a ruder state
of civilization are so offensive as the
superstitioua Superstition, as Matthew
Arnold said, is a natural exoresoenoe
upon belief. an overbelief, as the Ger
mans call it, a something more than be-
lief, and this vicious excess Of virtue,
this corruption of belief, is more de-
grading than any form of oriminality.
Surely superstition is the vilest of all
the vices the most aoeursed Of all the
crimes.
"Lilies that tester smell far worse
than weeds. Saturday Review.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1900-01-05
Not In on sirupn.

"a prominent lawyer, the father of
a large family and who has a practice
in proportion to the size of his family,
has a youngster who is just cutting his
teeth" said Genesee avenue jeweler.
1.-THE infant has kept the father awake
several nights recently with it's crying,
and at last, weary beyond endurance,
he told his wife he knew of a soothing
strip that would quiet the child. II
was procured and the next night an adj
sAinistration of it made, with the re-
suit that the father walked with the
crying babe all night. Along about
O'Clock in the morning he handed the
child YEARLY to his wife.
"'Well, George, she said, You may
be a great lawyer, but you are a mighty
bad judge of soothing strip. "-Sagi'
nav Courier Herald.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1900-01-05
MASSACHUSETTS, NOTES.
Largest Cotton Min Dedicated.

Berkshire mill, No. A, the fourth and
largest mill of the Berkshire Cotton COM
pany at Adams, was dedicated with a con-
cert and ball Saturday night. The ball
took place in the weave room, covering %
acres Of ground and fully 5000 people were
present. The grand march was led by
Treasurer w. B. Plunkett and wife, fol
lowed by Secretary G. T. Plunkett and
wife and over 500 couples. The mill will
open in two weeks and will give employ
ment to 1000 hands, making total mum
Der employed by the company of $500
hands. The addition of the new mill makes
the largest single plant in the United States
and probably the largest in the world.
The weave room of the new mill is also the
largest in the world. The cornerstone of
the mill was laid by President Mckinley.
when he was a guest Of Hon. William b.
Plunkett last June.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1900-01-05

The Copenhagen correspondent of this
Daily Mail says the Danish West Indies
will probably be sold to the United States.
The price named is 100000.
Water was turned into the big drainage
canal at Chicago Tuesday. About $685.
OOO, 900 has been spent on the canal. Work
was begun on it in 1898. The canal
which will carry water of the great lakes
to the Mississippi, has been constructed in
strict conformity with the requirements OF
the law under which the sanitary district
off Chicago was organized, and is of suffi-
cient size and capacity to produce ant
maintain at all times a continuous flow OF
at least 100000 cubic feet of water pei
minute, with current not exceeding one
mile per hour. The minimum depth is 2.
feet in both the earth and rock sections.