Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-09-08
HIS FATHERS BURGLAR DOG.
jerome X. Jerome Tells About q
Scheme for Household Protection.
From Warner's Mapazine

Jerome X. jerome Tells About a
Scheme for Household Protection.
From Werner's Magazine.
A great many burglaries had lately taken
place in our neighborhood, and father came
to the conclusion that 1t was time he
bought a dog. He thought bulldog would
be the best for his purpose, so he pur-
chased the most savage and murderous-
locking specimen that he could find.
My mother was alarmed when she saw
the dog. Surely you're not going to let
that brute loose about the house." she ex-
claimed. He'll kill somebody. l can see
it in his face
Il want him to kill somebody" replied
my father, Il want him TO kill burglars"
Il don't like to hear you talk like that
Thomas, answered mother. It's not like
you. We've right to protect our prop
erty, but We've no right to take a fellow
human creaturS life.
Our fellow human creatures will be all
right long as they don't come into our
kitchen when they've no business there"
retorted my father somewhat testify. I'm
going to fix up this dog in the scullery and
If burglar comes fooling around-well
that's his affair"
The old folks quarreled on and off for
about a month over this dog. The dad
thought the mater absurdly sentimental
and the mater thought the dad unnecessary
more ferocious looking every day.
One night my mother woke my father up
with: Thomas, there's a burglar down
stairs, I'm positive l distinctly heard the
kitchen door OPEN"
''Oh, well, the dogs got him by now,
then" murmured my father, who had heard
nothing and was sleepy.
Thomas" replied my mother severely
Il m not going to lie here while a fellow
creature is being murdered by a savage
beast. If you won't go down and save that
mans life l will
''Oh, bother said my father. preparing
to get up. You're always fancying you
hear noises. believe that's all you women
come to bed for-to sit up and listen for
burglars" Just to satisfy her, however, he
pulled on his trousers and socks and went
down.
Well sure enough my mother was right
this time. There was a burglar in the
house. The pantry window stood open, and
light was shining in the kitchen. My
father crept softly forward and peeped
through the partly open door There sat
the burglar, eating cold beef and pickles,
and there, beside him, on the floor gazing
up into his face with a blood-curdling smile
Of affection, sat that idiot of dog, wag-
ging his tail.
My father was so taken aback that he
forgot to keep silent.
We'll, I'm and he used word that
1 should not care to repeat.
The burglar hearing him, made a dash
and got clear off by the window; and the
dog seemed vexed with my father for hav-
ing driven him away.
Next morning we took the dog back to
the trainer from whom we had bought 1t.
What do you think l wanted this dog
for?" asked my father, trying to speak
calmly.
Well" replied the trainer, you said
you wanted a good house dog
Exactly so,' answered the dad. st
didn't ask for burglars companion, did 1?
1 didn't say l wanted a dog who'd chum
with a burglar the first time he ever came
to the house. and sit with him while he
had his supper, In case he might feel lone
some. did I?' And my father recounted
the incidents Of the previous night.
The man agreed that. there was some
cause for complaint. "Ill tell you what it
Is SIR" he said cit was my boy Jim as
trained this ere dawg, and 1 guess the
young beggars taught i'm more about
tackling rats than burglars. You leave i'm
with me for a week, sir; I'll put that all
right"
We did so, and at the end Of the time
the trainer brought him back again.
you'll find i'm game enough now, sir"
said the man. e amt what call an in
tellectual dawg, but I think I've knocked
the right idea into I'M"
My father thought he'd like to test the
matter. so we hired a man for a shilling
to break in through the kitchen window,
while the trainer held the dog by a chain.
The dog remained perfectly quiet until the
man was fairly inside. Then he made one
savage spring at him, and if the chain had
not been stout the fellow would have earned
his shilling dearly.
The dad was satisfied, now that he could
go to bed in peace; and the matters alarm
for the safety Of the local burglars was
proportionafely increased.
Months passed uneventfully by, and then
another burglar sampled our house. This