The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1900-03-09
OLD MAIDS CONVENTION
Antique Spinsters Reno del
ed at Central Avenue
Reformed Church.

An "Old Maids Convention" was held
in the Sunday-schoo room of the Central
Avenue Reformed Church, last night, un-
der the auspices of the Progressive Work
ers of tnat church. The affair, which was
an interesting novelty, proved a big So
cial and financial success. The audience
occupied every seat in the big room,
chairs were provided for others in the
aisles, and many were obliged to stand.
The convention was held on stage,
which was occupied by between twenty
and thirty stold maids" who, as dele
gates. attended the convention. Outland-
ish headgear, with ringlets, ridiculous old
fashioned gowns and prodigious parasols
were the features of the spinsters make
up. The convention was presided over by
Josephine Jane Green (Mrs Jas. Moore).
After the convention was called to order
the president introduced Professor Make
over (Orrin Dubois) with his famous
Remodelscope, through which the old
maids could be transformed into whatever
characters they most desired.
The remodelscope is a machine into
which one can enter and after being
ground up and made over emerge from
the machine as new creatures, endowed
with the youth, beauty and talent of any
character which he or she chooses before
going through the process 1t is a large
and very delicately constructed machine,
equipped with rollers, supplied with sharp
teeth, and turned by crank. 1t is fur
ther equipped with a dial that registers
the age of the one who chooses to go
through the remodelling process. 1t was
ter what age was given. Many of the
old maids gave their age as fifteen or six
teen years and as they entered the MAJ
chine much amusement was caused by
the rapid revolution of the needle of the
dial and registering sixty or seventy
year. While the machine is in operation
the wild shrieks of the one undergoing
the operation are heard. Miss Sophia
Stuckup (N1iss Alvina Stuhr) expressed a
desire to be transformed into a beautiful
young girl elocutionist. She went through
the process and beautiful young girl
emerged and gave recitation Betsy
Bobbett (Miss Laura PratD wanted to be
converted into a man. The professor told
her plainly that it would require Two
women to make man. Violet Ann Rug
giles (MiSs Jean Malcolm) who wanted
to be man also, Joined Betsy Bobbett
and together they entered the machine
The professor turned the CRANK ana
wild unearthly yells were heard, but a
few moments later fine looking young
man from Brooklyn emerged and sang a
tenor solo Jerusha Matilda Shriggins
(Miss Emma Allen) and Polly Jane Spratt
miss Emma Firehoch) wanted to be-
come twins They entered the machine
and Misses Sadie Paterson and Ruth
White emerged looking alike and dressed
alike They gave a piano and violin duet.
Mary Jane Traddler Miss Augusta
stuhr) wanted to be converted gt,t int, into a
on carrying her dog with her into the
machine. The professor protested, but
was finally overcome, declare ne would
not be responsible for the consequences:
A young lady emerged with string OF
Frankfurters, embellished, with red
bow, banking on her arm.
The President, Josephine Jane Green,
next stepped into the machine to be con-
verted into young elocut1onist. she
gave her age as sixteen. The nedeie OF
the century mark, when terrible COM
motion was heard inside Pieces of arms,
legs and particles of the machinery came
flying out of the top and the machinery
collapsed. The balance of the old maids
in waiting flew into a frenzy and hustled
the Professor and his Remodeloscope off
the stage.
Among those in waiting were-Rosilla
Abigail Hodge (Miss Agnes Brennan),
Patience Desire Man (Miss Augusta
Malcolmn), Nulietta Long GMiss Lizzie
Meharg) Penelope Gertrude Doolittle
Miss Lucy Rudiger), Cleopatra! Belle
Brown Miss Florence Firehock), Joseph
inc Hildebrand Skinner (Miss Tillie Krou),
TIME Short Miss Susie Wallace. VIM
stoned much merriment. The Union
Violin Orchestra rendered four selections