The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-05-06
CENSUS OF THE RAPPERTY FAMILY,
The Lady Of the House Explains Domestic
Affairs to tho Enumeration.

NC, I'm not huyln' Dukes TO-DAY. nor amy
| other day. said Mrs, Rafferty, as she stood with
her hand on the door ready 10 shut 1t in mo
| face Of tho young man in the hall
But, madam. I'm not selling books. / am
an agent in the employ Of the Government
| am the census taker
"Oh. you are. are you Well. III let YOU
know that you wont take any away from hero
| bekass we have none. So there'"
NV good woman. ] am afraid you do not
understand. About once In every decade tho
Government sends men like myself around the
country 10 find out by courteous inquiry Mt
what ratio the population has increas 4 since
the last census and to procure other data nee
essary for preservation In the archives Of this
glorious republic"
"0h. tbs information you want What does
II COST Are you sure you're not from O'Con-
noris. the 'stallment man. bel:ase We haven't
the bedroom sat paid for yet. all On account
o the wit days this month, and Patrick bein'
a mason and workin' on an OUTSIDE iob. Of
coorse he couldn't work in the rain, small blame
to him. and Jamesey havin' a now ralr O. shoes
a dollar an a half, az | may die where | stand
in me shoes. God save me- from my sins. and
there's the dollar I spint coin' to Consy's Island
ldNnN ~ AiASob q - ga ~
but the sun was SO bright, glory be, and | had
the new straw hat I'm afther buyin' In Division
street for 45 oints. wild the wax cherries an IL.
Arrah, dear men. come in and sit down. Sure
YOU must beh tired climbin' up the five stairs.
Faith, II you are thirsty | have the can II you
have the price and | wont b" gon" while You'll
be wink!n' twice
but. my dear madam, Fin"
Don't say a word about II. darlint. you're
tipnnarQnrO. There. kAty. Won Glnt Won. Will
YOU come ava from the windy or II lay mo
heavy hand on you, Do you want 10 be making
glr-rI! Oh. sir, childar are a aor" .clal. SO
they are. What wild the wa-hin' and the mend
in. the mumps. the m'0'les' and mebba II
you Inv So GIdR t,4 Be s"Ts' / PG wcu AGn,a S {Ty b 8 a3lGp
YOU for not lkin' the beer, the docth"r was
sayin' on'y the other day that beer was bad
for your Kidneys. but my nan must have hid
before he'll be sittin' out on the roof aud low
erin tho pail down to the saloon below wild a
string TO be filed every hour and singin':
Beer. beer, glorious beer.
Fill yerself night " ~ here.
Make a whole meal III.
Drink a whole pail Of IL.
I forget the rest. But ! don't believe all the
Here Mrs. Rafferty, stopped TO take breath.
which enabled the census taker 10 say:
Excuse me, madam but we are not getting
2 2i0nf hav very Been i" Saying is very sTs' Interesting i from
an autobiographical and sociological stand
point. A sort OF history. of hoW-the-other half
lives, you understand. But in order 10 facilitate
the work in which ! am engaged, perhaps it
would be better II should ask you a few cues
tons and you should answer by a simple af-
hrmatiys Or NEGATIVE, 81 the case may be
well, ] suppose It's all right. But divyil
a wan o. us knows what you're sayin',, Not
that ] want to hurt your ,n IeeI.nT, Sr' ! aiwaES
polite. says ]. bekase pollteness costs nQthln'
and nayther. man nor woman ever threw bricks
a. a nan ,h for e snin. p 20 the hi fSe school ia' Scs
were never introduced TO him, Sri No2 Well.
YOU should see the dignacious way he'd be
takin' his hat or to a Teddy, and him goin' down ,Ewn
pays the besht. never, fear. Twill capture
young and old hump-bqck and cripple the
lovely and the homely, glory be- Eddicashun
she swallowed the red-hot horseshoe nail.
Faith. Willie. you spalpcen, will YOU put down
that varnish can. Did you swally il! opsn
your mouth oh, my oh. my! lcu little
iarrup, You have your tongue all painted And
the gentleman lookIn' ut YOU IT'S hard enough
aettin' the dirt of the outside OF your skin;
but how'll ] scrnpe the pnirr of your .nsldes'
Now, suppose, you'll have to swally some
sandpaper. There, there, don't cry. See the
gentleman is givin' YOU n penny.
rrwh!'h, you, whish' You; w T,o,S yoq, ny baby
Sure the noise that you make would drive Slauery
whisht you. my darlln,. and b, a good boy"
you'll excuse me, sir, While I'm rockin' the
darlint asleep. The varnish is ~ Faith hell
forget all abOutit agIn the mornln'. lsthaty you,
Mrs, Murphy; come in. acushla. WI !cn5
| Won the ind Of n quarter OF a pound O tay2
or course. | will, This Ia my nelghbor, sir.
| She lives on the floor below. Mary. dear.
this is an agent from tho Gov'ment' he Is
telin' me purity stories about how to behave.
I'm henrin' that Fogarty's daughter ran away
| Wild Phil Kelly and he only known her three
weeks lasht Tuesda'! Look a that now! 81
We down. sir. Hush. Willie We'll. well, did
| ever hear the likes. o that. SO they were
| married in Jersey, eh. Wonders will never
sthop, ms the duck said when the hawk flew
AVA wild his toll feathers! What Are
YOU soin', sir? Well. como in tomorrow and III
give you some more Information. Good day
and good luck 10 you"
There Is No Disputinc
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