The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-09-09
THE RINGER AT PEORIA,
EXsTANK No. go TELLS or A CON-
SCIENCE FREED FROM CARE.
An Unexpected Drop Into Peoria,
ming Of u small f~ortune-County Fair Foot
Races and the Disguised sprinter-some
Aspects Of Betting on a sure Thing,

~ INV l"n' Ar'''
Former Alcoholic Dcgeneratcs there was a
somevhat heated discussion ms to whether a
souare man may lusti1ably play a ringer,
knowing tho same 10 be a ringer. collect the
coin thus won, and keep mis- head closed about
IL. The con onsus Of opinion seemed TO DO
that, so Tong ~ u man ~ not himself instrunen-
tai, in putting a ringer first under the wire.
IL Is perfectly legitimate for him 90 back a
rirper right oil the boards, II the Cutnce comes
r. ,wuy aud he needs the money badly. the
krond ground being taken that the man who
invtsts his moncy on n ringer Is bound To Do
disoualihed out Of the amount OF his bet II
the ringer ls exposed NJ suoh. and that when
you stand 10 lose you're sure entitled 20 stand
TO win"
This Wow appeared to ho vastly comforting
70 I aJTank No, %
"1ihe clubs vote on this important ques-
don !" said he. TefeCtiyely feeling OF his large
dim ,oud-sUrrounded sapphire scarlpin. lets
me put For a number OF years par I've
beerI wondering during IN" silent watches
Nhe n night, sable goddess, has begun 10 suetch
forth her lead-loaded night club over TINS
dossing bury mean to say that I've been
Kept a-guessiug tor a long time past whether
4 lit tie yank-down that | made out in Illinois
the year after the Worlds Fair put me In the
same class with spark g%rait"r7. porch lint
ers 1Ind yecgs, OF whcthcr-
SAY, look a-hcrc." yelled tI-Tank No. T.
the pariiamentarian and kicker, suddenly
sum ping up in his place. dye think this outht
"a a. bunch a. omlno- PLAYING ward sleuths
s-pa ttering in the back room on Il precinct clink
about a bag roundup in an Past Side renee
or 90 you-
-1lho FL Tank SNccp-Ip Will convey No
10 tho hot room and read 10 him n iour-col-
umn. denunciutiun Of tr,-ts. said III" Chief
hr.nt, .,y,y.1ss ,,npGiup tl1fh his guNpl. No.
rs " m proceed 10 cnlighteu the club with respect
10 this fortuitous Qualification OF his conscience"
81. will not take up the clubs time, pro-
peetled E1-Tank No. %. "by ondeavuring to
exp lain how I happened 10 slit into Peoria,
i'll, the year after th" Worlds Fair. That's
n ga 4, smcary story, anyhow, and 10 tell II right
the lights nd have to be- lowered and ther"'d
nav. to be- weird minor music from reed instr'l-
mends. Moreover. there wasn't any particular
reaso on why II should have been Peoria. The
train just pulled onto a siding and everybody
got on. Noticing my hesitation. the brakeman
asked me # I'd kindly step ~ So that he could
lock up the car. obliged him. and when |
Halkcd into the station I found that the place
was Peoria. The ticket that / had in my cloth
Ing read ST. Louis. bat that was merely a friv-
olous little detail, and | hadn't been told about
any change Of ears, anyhow. mover did be-
lleve in this car-changiug game. When |
get on once | want 10 stay there. Moreover
when Won get IN to switch "ar~. the temptation
to soak your ticket AZ a scalper'S is almost TOO
Overwhelming 70 be resisted. You get real,
sure-enourh money Tor the butt OF the ticket,
whereas. by going ON, you'd get only a ride,
and you're generally tired Of riding when YOU
get of 10 make the switch. That's the way |
felt. anyhow.
"sWhat .or 81. Loo says I TO myself rs |
repaired in the direction Of the s%calper's ofice,
che sign Of which saw up the street, 1 don't
want TO 10 TO ~. Ion. I've seen Shaw'a Gar
dens and Tower Hll Park and other less meri-
torious portions Of 81. Loo, whereas Peoria
l. a sealed town to me-. Furthermore. look at
the 1wo-hfty iu currency and silver that I'll
get on this stub of n ticket. -. Loo Why.
Its ridiculous
-Four minutes later | had secured s2.75 Of the
scalper's change on the Tag eud OF my ticket
70 ~. Louis. which caused M" TO reflect upon
the possibility Of my running for clerk OF Pc
oria county. for the S75 WIS big money 10
me bust then. seeing that | had only lately been
IN Chicago.
Il pa4sed up the hiph ones and purchased
for myself two ammonia cocktails whereNith
70 give tone to my frame. Then the shine,
Che shave. tho fresh collar and cuffs and the
brush-on. after which the front didn't look
half so much on III" blink as II might have.
Then the modest cup of coffee and tho roll.
accompanied by the Inevitable line Of thinks
ina is superinduced by coming TO In a burg
whereof the landmarks are completely unia-
tnilisr. q
As ] sat in the dnky restaurant, trying
TO figure out the best way to captivate the pop
ulaion Of Peoria. a couple Of loose-jointed,
middle-aged men drove
mp in front in a buggy and entered the feed
tepee. They sat down at the table in front Of
-. ,aA .rIaxaI hon, and ana md fhnp hanap
10 talk about the county fair that was to come
on in about a months time. / got my ears
ihined up when one Of them said;
we ought t hire some Teller thet's agood
ynk singer an thct kin spread good chin
music on paper T. write up them circulars an
posters an tn ads fr Ia papers an ] don't
jest ezzackly know no boy Whut's not workin'
fhet I'D take tn job fr a months time at sl2
y week, d'you2"
That said |. buttins in right there where
law the opening. is because YOU don't know
me. ] an the boy
.Hey2' they both said at once. wheeling
around in their chairs and looking Inc over.
II said that you need institute no further
1eearch for a person capable Of fulfilling the
requirements you just mentioned, and which,
owing TO my contiGuity. | could not avoid
hearing ] rem arksd. edging a little closer.
Moreover. the coming month Is the only open
lime I've got on my book. After THIS month
my date list'l be stuffed 10 repletin',
Tho pair OF county fair maEnates looked at
zach other and then they looked some more
Of me.
well said one Of them 10 the other. nodding
In my direction. EFF thet Teller kin write as high
falutn' az he kin talk. he's m mar we're a
buutin' fr, aint hep
. He sure Is replied the other hesp-muoh
Il, county fair affairs, aud then they asked
me the usual idiotic questions that some folks
out to a man they're thinking Of giving a Job to.
Il didn't tell 'em that Chicago and the wicked
ness thereof had got me going so that II had
been up TO me to quit that town or seek a Job on
the Drainage Canal, simply put II to EN-
that the far famed virtue, honor and sobriety
of the inhabitants Of Peoria had attracted
me 10 their beautiful and prosperous city
] could see that my calling Peoria a city made a
big hit with 'em both and that the temptation
was strong within me TO tarry just one calendar
month in the place. during which time my
humble services would be at their disposition.
] got the Job, and two hours later ! was seated
- No., ,aII,., .l.al. la at, .Nl 40. al tho DnArfa