Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1900-10-13
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BILE people. Eyes. They couldn't act
much worse if they were trying to civ
ilize another Countrywide.
An Anomaly: Eve-You can't make
a bit of an impression on that young
Marsh. May know it. It's strange
too, for he's so soft-Philadelphia
Bulletin.
First Mosquito-Yo look cold. Why
your teeth are actually chattering.
What's the matter? Second Mosquito
l just lit on a girl from Boston.-Phila-
delphia Record.
Father-Who prepared this puddingi
Mother docking at her daughters in
succession)-I mustn't tell-the author
desires to remain anonymous.-Meg.
gendorfer Batter.
In the Lunatic Asylum: Keeper
This poor fellow used to be a famous
musician. Visitor-Ah! and now he's
a wandering Philadelphia
Evening Bulletin.
"A man and his wife should be part
ners like business firm" "Yes," an
swered the meek-eyed, silent partner,
"and 1 find my wife is firm enough
Kansas City Star.
"Norah, these are as heavy as Lead.
Didn't you tell me you knew how t.
bake biscuit" "Yis'm, an so 1 do, 5us
I'm a little shy on the mixin' av 'em,
mem."-Chicago Tribune
but, mamma, If 1 buy clothes first
L may not have money left to buy
trunk" Ethel, you haven't any bust
ness sense at all; you can borrow a
trunK."-Chicago Record.
Hoax-What's the matter, old MANI
You look all cramped up. Joax-PYs
lust been calling on one Of those artistic
girls, and spent two hours in a cozy
corner.--Philadelphia Record.
Unearthum-My wife talks, talks,
talks al 1.-THE time. Henpeck-Impos-
sible. She must listen part of the time,
otherwise she wouldn't be so popular
with my wife.-Philadelph Press.
First Traveller (cheerily)-Fine day,
isn't it? Second ditto (haughtily)-
You have the advantage of me. don't
know you! First Traveler-Humph
fail to see the MISUNDERSTANDING.
The Grip on Emergencies: 'What's
the difference between knowledge and
wisdom" "Well, 1t takes knowledge
to build an automobile, but it takes
wisdom to run it."-Chicago Record.
The Prevailing Passion: Young Lady
Mercy me! When fast in the jungle,
you came face to face with tiger. GOO!
What did you do? Modern Traveller
lproudly) Photographed it.-New York
Weekly.
why, 1 ask you," vociferated the ca
Misunderstanding orator, 'are they hav-
ing bread riots in Honduras? Maybe
they've got tired of bananas" hazarded
an earnest-looking auditor-Chicago
Tribune.
McGarigle-'Tis said thin doods has
"a pair O. soospenders fer every pair O.
pants. Schwartz-Vell so hat 1. Nc
Garigle-How many pair Of pants do
yez own? Schwartz-Vun.-M
ter Union.
Good Suggestions: 81 wonder why
they don't name one of the new ships
the Mayflower" what for?" "Why, so
that future generations can say their
ancestors came over on it."-Philadel-
phia Bulletin.
81 suppose" said Miss Snaps fiance,
you'll be sorry when 1 marry your
sister and take her away to live with
me-" NO." replied her little brother.
81 never did like you much anyhow"
Philadelphia Press.
Impressed: He-I have just returned
from little railroad trip, and the seem
cry did me good. She-Nature was
grand, was she? He-Yes; and have
never seen the advertisements in more
gorgeous colors.-Bazar.
He looked at the picture and laughed
loudly. That's good" he said. But
what does it mean" she asked.
Mean? Why, it doesn't mean any
thing" he replied. ITS just politi-
cal cartoon. Chicago Evening Post.
Brushe-Who is that solemn-looking
Individual? Penn-That's Graves. He
writes patent medicine ads. A clever
chap he is, too. He can describe dis
ease so that the healthiest man alive
will think he has got it.-Tit-Bits.
"Pa, why do they formally notify
man that he is nominated for Presi-
dent?" "Well, mainly, think, so that
he can't get up after he fails to be
elected in November and VOW he wasn't
in politics at ll."-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
aren't you ashamed to be an object
of charity? exclaimed the pedestrian.
81 amt no object of charity" replied
Meandering Mike, Indignantly; Pm
grea3 moral an civilian influence. /
am a promoter of philanthropy
Washington Star.
A Rude Shock: Hell know your
family does not like me, but-will you
be my wife? She-Well, 1 should say
not! He-Whew! That's rather a
She-I repeat 1 should say not, but as
a girl in love doesn't generally do as
she should, I'll say "Yesr-Ex.
Glidden-Your lawn always looks in
f1e shape. How do you manage it?
Wartner-Easy enough. 1 have two
growing boys, and 1 tell them every
day that they mustn't NEEDLE with the