davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
The Famous Asphalt Lake.

Asphalt is being dug out OF the Ia
nous tar lake of Trinidad, the most
notable existing source of the material
in the world, at the rate of S0,0UO IONS
per annum. There are still 4,5OO,OO0
tons in sight, but as this rate the sup
ply could not last long were it not that
the lake bitumen referred to is recelv-
ing constant accretion from the bow
els of the earth. This accretion Is
reckoned as amounting to about 10000
tons yearly and would suffice to restore
the lake to it's original condition If 1t
were allowed to remain undisturbed
for few years.
This wonderful lake of pitch has an
area Of III acres, and recent sound
ings made in the middle Of it have
shown the depth to be 1876 feet in that
part. Near the center it is semiliquid
and bubbling, but elsewhere it has-so
hard surface that man on horse
back can ride over it without danger of
breaking through the crust. Scattered
over Its surface are number of small
islands which have no proper roots in
the earth, SO to speak, but are compos-
ed merely of Accommodations of soil,
though trees of considerable size grow
on some Of them. These islands are
not stationary, but are carried slowly
from place to place by the movements
If the lake. Now and then one of them
Is entirely engulfed.-New York Post.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
Christening the Children.

An English parson of a church in
Berbice, British Guiana, writes enter
tainingly of his pastoral duties In the
matter of christening the choice of
name is left to the taste or fancy of the
parents. This leads to strange combi-
nations. He copies from his register
"Nannie Bellona," "Trank Locust and
whisky Emmanuel" OF earlier times
he tells the following:
One black man brought his child, and
when the minister asked it's name he
said. "Seriatim ad Valorem."
On another occasion the parson ask
ed, what is the name of the child?"
The father said, "Ax, parson." The
minister looked inquiringly at the man
and said:
"But don't understand you"
"Well, parson," said the man. my
mind gle me to go troo de New Tesla
ment. l have had four boys. The first
was named Matthew, the second Mark,
the third Luke and the fourth John.
Now, this, the fifth one, is to be AK
[Aetsl. parson."
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
1t Killed the Rear.

a man who had experience in Alaska
was listening to group Of citizens dis
cussing the weather and broke in on
the talk thus:
"Pshaw, you fellows don't know what
changeable weather is. You think it's
always cold in Alaska, DO you? Well,
Just let me tell you little personal ex-
perience of mine. One day l went
hunting with party of miners. The
weather was quite warm when we
started, and 1 perspired freely. Sun
denly 1t turned bitterly cold, and large
icicles formed on my whiskers q had
grown full beard. Crossing a small
canyon, l came face to face with a big,
ugly looking bear. 1 had nothing but
powder in my gun, and the man with
the cartridges was away behind me, so
as desperate resort l rammed the
icicles from my beard into the gun and
blazed away"
And what happenedY' said one Of
the crowd eagerly.
"Why, struck him squarely in the
head and killed him.
KILLED him? Inp3ssiGle" chorused
the crowd
"But it did. tell YOU The tempera.
ture suddenly turned warm again, melt
Ing the icicles. and the bear died from
water Oh the brain" = Detroit Free
Press.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27

Within four miles of elbows Falls A farm
OF 1875 acres, AZ acres tillage, balance pasture
and wood. Large story house, commodi-
GUS barns and other out-buildings; will cut
30 tons hay, best of water, on main road,
near neie hbors and school. Price only $1,000.
Within four miles of Bellows Falls. Farm
of l96 acres; 81 acres meadow, balance pas
ture, wood. House story, 9 large rooms.
barns with corn barn and other out build
ing. This farm cuts 100 tons hay, all by
machinery. best Of water. Ten years ago
the price was $4,000; to-day, on account of
i'll health, $4,000 will buy it.
Within four miles of Bellows Falls. A
nice little place of two acres, the very best of
land, 40 fruit trees, IL story house, with
good barn, in fine neighborhood, near school,
abundant water supply. AS nice home as
you often find. Come and see il; the price
is al right.
These farms are all in the Connecticut
river valley, which is acknowledged the Gar
den of New England for farming.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
The Hot Water Cure.

Boarding House Keeper-A glass Of
hot water? What can the man want
with glass of hot water? He doesn'r
shave.
Cook-He wants to drink it.
ITO drink it? Well, never!
"Oh, all the boarders is sending for
hot water now three times day."
Goodness me! What forT'
Fur to drink. They calls it the hot
water cure. 1t beats all newfangled
notions what come up"
"What does it cure?''
"Oh. they say it really cures every
thing just splendid"
"Thank fortune it's cheap. Give 'em
all the hot water they want, Maria"
"Yes'm."
80 hot water is great cure, Is It?
Well, | shan't let any of my boarders
get i'll for want Of medicine. Just put
another gallon of hot water In that oys-
ter soup, Maria, and think you'd bet
ter take out the oyster now. 1t might
get too rich. London Bits.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
The Telegram Came.

Bingo-Has a telegram come for mel
Mrs. Bingo-Have you been expect
ing one?
Bingo-Oh, no; of course not. (Sar-
castically) You don't suppose would
ask you that question if l expected one,
do you?
Mrs. Bingo (sweetly)-You might,
dear. What would you say now If
should say that telegram has come
for you?
Bingo-Aha! l knew 1t. I've been
expecting that telegram all the after
noon. Qmpatiently) Where is it7
Mrs. Bingo-I'I get it. But, dear,
thought 1t best to open it. You didn't
mind, did you, dearest?
Bingo-Certainly not. It's only a
matter Of business. From Jack Enslow,
isn't it?
Mrs. Bingo-Yes, dear.
Bingo-Important meeting tonight.
Says must be there, doesn't he?
Mrs. Bingo-Yes, dear,
Bingo rubbing his hands)-I knew it.
Well, I'll have to rush off after dinner.
Sorry for you, my dear, but, you know.
business must be attended to.
Mrs. Bingo-Oh, that's all right, dar-
lirE. But don't you want to see the
message?
Bingo-Why should l? You opened 1t
like good wife that you are, and Of
course can trust you. Jack wants me
delightfully."-, that's all, and must go.
Mrs. Bingo-But there was one thing
more he said, my pet
Bingo (suspiciouslyeOh, there was.
Well, what was it?
Mrs. Bingo (all smiles)-He says he's
got front row seats.-PearSon's.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
He WINS slow.

IN
lincoln used to be fond OF leiins
story of lawyer in weS.elI ao,nts
who desired the nomination lui
Judge. On the morning preceuins Wv
evening on which the count! ~ A.
ton was to meet he applied u 90 Gov
cry stable keeper in his yillase m =
horse and buggy in which TO u,its "
the county town, 16 miles u 800
where the convention was to De neiu
Give me the best and the l"1 ~
horse you have, Sam" said he, ~ 10y aat
will have time to go around "nu ~
the boys before the convention 'oineS
in
The liveryman, however, was sup
porting a rival candidate and gave me
lawyer horse that outwardly "ppSa
ed perfect, but which broke down en-
tirely before half the journey was cum
pleted, so that when the candiua'e al,
rived the convention had adJoui neu
and his rival had been nominated
On his return to the stable la.e 'ie
following afternoon, knowing that II
was useless to resent the trick piayeu
upon him, he said to the owner LUX
here, Smith, you must be training .nis
horse for the New York market LOU
expect to sell him to an undertaken ior
hearse horse, don't you? Weh' us
time wasted. l know from ms gan
that you have spent days training MN
to pull hearse, but he'll prove uead
failure. Why, he's so slow he couiuh
get a corpse to the cemetery in time Ior
the resurrection"
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
English Peers Can't Vote.

Disfranchisement is one of the pecul-
lar disabilities under which a peer of
the realm suffers. Lord Salisbury once
attempted to secure vote for Hert-
ford and Middlesex, but the revising
barrister at Hatfield refused the claim
on the ground that time had given the
disability the character of law and that
peers by the law of parliament neces-
sary for the dignity and freedom of the
two houses were not permitted to vote
for members of the house of commons.
Lord Salisbury took the case to the APP
peal court, but as he could quote mel
Their precedent nor authority" he was
obliged to go back to Hatfield without
his vote-London Chronicle.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
John l.. sulIivnn,s Br.,v,.

Some eminent tragedians were once
quizzing John l., Sullivan, then in his
heyday. Said one of them:
"Say, John, why don't you try the le-
Ultimate? Look at Muldoon. He has
played the wrestler until he Is as well
known In connection with Shakespeare
as heis on the mat"
John looked thoughtful for a moment
and then growled:
"Say, do you think could do it?"
why, sure. Play The Gladiator
Just the piece for you"
Once again John thought awhile and
then said:
SAY, that's a good idea. think I've
got good scheme to work with it too"
What is it, John?'
why, I'd have a real solid iron
arena. I'd come into the arena and
boiler, Bring out your wild oxp See?
Then I'd have 'em bring in live bull.
I'd wrestle round the ring with 1t until
I got good hold on it's horns, and then
I'd slowly twist it down and break it's
neck. Then I'd put my foot on its neck
and say, Behold the invtncible, yours
truly, John L. Sullivan, champion of
the world! I'd kill real live bull for
EN- every night. How do you think
that'd hit emp
~Great! But great Scott, John! Can
you kill a bull like that?"
~Huh! Can L? Come out to the
slaughter house and see me do it,
Kansas City Independent.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
A Legal bubble.

"There is a story" the doctor said,
''of a man who was sued for debt not
long ago. The case went against him,
and the court gave Judgment for $500.
His lawyer told him he would have to
pay it, as he was an unmarried man.
He hustled out and in few hours
came back with wife and plea in
due form that he needed his salary for
the support of his family. He got Off
Free"
81 don't believe that was constitu-
tional." said the professor after a mo-
ment's reflection.
"Why notW
because it was annex post facto."-
Chicago Tribune.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
The Irish Hedge school.

The educational structure for which,
WNlng advantage Of the federation OF
soVernmepr. the hedge schoolmaster
abandoned his al fresco establishment,
w"s very humble one Of it's kind.
Inc peasantry, animated by the strong
IRISH love of learning, built it for him,
Just as in modern days they assemble
Hhd build huts for evicted tenants.
II was not very formidable under
aklng. A deep, dry ditch or trench by
the roadside was usually selected for
tle site. At the side of the trench an
excavation of the requisite area was
Jug, so that the clay bank formed three
sides of the Enclosure. This saved the
trouble of building walls. Then the
fourth side, or front side wall, with a
uoor and two windows, was built of
green sods laid in courses, while -
mar sods raised the back to
gu height apd pointed the gabfONM ~
Young trees and wattles cut from the
nearest wood and bound together with
straw ropes and withes formed the
roof timbers. Over these were spread
orambles, then came layer of
scraws," or slabs of healthy bog sur.
lace, and over all a matching of rush
es. The earthen floor was pared to ar
approach to level, the rubbish cleared
away, and a pathway made to the pub
hc road. There was your hedge school
mousse, ready for business.-Donahoe'
Magazine.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
GREAT FOOD EXHIBIT.

A Comprehensive Display From Pam
American Countries at BufYalo.
In the division of Foods and their
accessories an exhibit will be made
ut the Pan-American Exposition at
Buffalo of most comprehensive char
acter and covering one-quarter of the
large area of the Manufactures and
Liberal Arts building.
The division will bring to the atten-
ton of the consumers and tradesmeu
the food resources of Pan-America.
showing them that the countries of the
western hemisphere produce, and are
capable of producing in quantities suffi-
cient for all demands, a great variety
of foods that are now imported from
the islands and countries of the far
East.
1t is hoped thus greatly to stimulate
Pan-American trade. The division will
present a collection of food products
and their accessories in such way
as to challenge the interest of every
inquiring visitor, and he will be offered
valuable instruction upon the nature.
origin and use Of the various foods.
One group will relate to literature
and statistics of food, live plants, vines
and trees from all parts of the western
world and miscellaneous specimens of
trunks, limbs, leaves, seeds, grasses
and grains.
Under another will be exhibited such
products as coffees, teas, cocoas, choc-
Olates, kola and their substitutes,
spices, aromatics, mustards, olives,
vinegars and other condiments, herbs,
hops, essential oils and flavoring ex-
tracts. An interesting collection of con-
fectionery and sweets, including the
sugar cane, beet, sorghum,s maple,
grape, palm, ETC., honey and glucose,
will be exhibited. Preserves and kim
dred products will be shown under an.
other group and nuts and dried fruits
aud vegetables, ETC., under another.
Prepared cereals, breads and crackers,
Indian corn as food for the table,
macaroni and preparations Of paste
and leavening preparations will con-
stitute still another interesting group.
Mineral waters and beverages, both
alcoholic and nonalcoholic, preserved
and packed meats and sea food, gela-
tin preparations and even machinery
used in food preparation processes will
be displayed. The food exhibit is un.
der the supervision of Mr.. G. Edward
Fuller an expert of worldwide repu-
tation in this line Of work. who has
Travelled arodnd the world and into
many Of its remote corners in search
of information upon the subject Of
foods.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
And Still She Wept.

Toto was crying. Whats the mat
terY' asked one of her fathers friends.
"Tze lost my cents!" she walled.
well. never mind. Here are cents, "
said the friend.
Soon Toto was crying harder than
ever. whats the matter now| she
was asked.
Pm crying because if l hadn't lost
my 2 cents I'd had now! was her
reply.-Detroit Free Press.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
A CARD.

Come to nv store and get 2bc or SOC bottle
Of Greene's Warranted Syrup of Tar, and /
pay you back your money if it does not cure
your cold or cough.
Andrews Drug Store, Bellows Falls, VT.
Pierce's Pharmacy,
Howard Drug Co.,
H. H. Davis, North Walpole.
C.C Davis, Walpole.
G. F. Simonds, Saxtons River.
8. P. Cushing, Cambridgeport.
Jeremiah Clark, Andover.
j. B. Divoll, Rockingham.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
Character shown by the Nose.

"Here is an article in the paper that
says a woman's character can be deter
mined by her nose"
"Well, there may be something in
that, but there's surer way. No one
can make mistake concerning a wom-
ans character if he will look at the
noses Of other women who meet her.
The extent to which they turn up at
SUCH times shows just what she Is or
isn't. "-Chicago Times-H Herald
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
A RusseA. AneceOte.

Lord Russell once presided at din
ner given for Sir Henry Irving on his
return from America. While the DIM
ner was in progress Lord Russell sug-
gested to Comyns Carr that he pro-
pose Sir Henry's health. II can't make
speeches, you know" he said.
Sir Henry gently replied, 81 heard
you make fine speech before the Par
nell commission"
To which the pungent Irishman an
swered. "Oh, yes. but then had some
thing to talk ahOntP'
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
DiscOuragfng.

ITS very discouraging." said the
young man. 81 confess that at times
considered myself genius"
"But perhaps you are" suggested his
friend soothingly.
Impossible. l explained my plans
to half dozen hard headed. practical
men, and not one of them seemed to
think that was blamed fool."-Life.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
Preparing the Kansas Exhibit.

Kansas is preparing grand display
of fruits and other products for the
Pan-American Exposition. Kansas il
popularity looked upon only as great
corn state, but her possibilities, in all
round farming, stock raising and fruit
and vegetable growing are to be shown
by means OF splendid object lessons in
her exhibits at Buffalo next year,
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
Beginning EARLY.

"Shall l have to get married when l
grew up"' asked little Flossie one day
OF her mother.
"Just as you please, dear" answered
her mother, with a smile. "Most women
do, however"
"Yes; suppose So" continued the lit
to girl musingly, land / think I'd bet
ter start and look out for husband
low. They say that Aunt Jane has
been at it for 20 years and hasn't
caught one yet."-Exchange.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27

The levees on both sides of the Mis-
sissippi are Of sufficient extent that Il
they were built in a single straight line
they would be about 1.30O miles long
long enough to stretch the greater pa Z
Of the distance between New Orleans
and New York
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
His Bump.

This" said the eminent phrenolo-
gist, sis the bump of intelligence,
and
"Heah, boss, quit pinchin dat bump
so specifically" protested Unc' Ebe.
My laid amt felt good sence de ole
woman raped me dar wild rollin pin.
an yo' bet I'ze got more 'telligence in
dat bump dan ter get in 'er way ergin.
Denver Times.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
The Commercial Instinct.

Mamma-Tommy, do stop that noise.
II you'll only be good, I'll give you a
penny.
Tommy-No: want a nickel.
Mamma-Why, you little rascal. you
were quite satisfied to be good yester-
day for a penny.
TOMMY know, but that was a bar
gain day.-Philadelphia Press.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
A CARD.

We, the undersigned, do hereby agree to
refund the money on twenty-five cent bot
tie of Wills English Pills. If, after using
hree-fourths of contents of bottle they do
not relieve Constipation and Headache. We
also warrant that four bottles will perma
nently cure the most obstinate case of Con
stipation. Satisfaction or no pay when
Wills English Pills are used.
Andrews Drug Store.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27

The japanese language is said to con-
tain 10000 words. 1t is quite impossi-
BILE for one man to learn the entire Ian
guage. and well educated japanese is
familiar with only 10000 words.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27

The LIE Conte pear. which revolutiog
lied pear growing In southern Califo
mia, was originally the Chinese sand
pear. grown solely for ornamental pu
poses
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
Proof to Her.

u am quite certain that poor man
has seen better times" said Mrs. Gaz-
Fam after giving breakfast to a tramp.
mo doubt" added Mr.. Gazzam dry
". "They all have"
"But this poor fellow didn't ask me
for broken victuals. He said it grieved
him to be obliged to apply for a COLA
ton. "-Detroit Free Press.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
The PICKLE Thermometer.

"Here. young man." said the old lady,
with fire in her eye, I've brung back
this thermometer you sold me-"
"What's the matter with it," asked
the clerk.
'It amt reliable. One time you look
at it it says one thing, and the next
time it says another. "-Catholic Stand
ard and Times.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
When Holly Was Forbidden.

Under the blue laws of Connecticut
for man to have sprig Of holly in
his house on Christmas day was a
penal offense. for which the household
er was punished by fine of a shilling
and confinement in the town stocks.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
Il. ". HOWARD, Arms Blk,
BELLOWS FALLS, VT.
Lewis Allbee Estate.

STATE OF VERMONT, By the Probate
Westminster, IS. Court for said Dis
trict. To all persons interested In the estate
said District, deceased. GREETING.
You are hereby notified that this court will
decide upon the allowance of the account of
Russell s. Herrick, administrator upon said
estate, and decree distribution thereof to the
persons entitled at the session thereof to be
held at the Probate Office In Bellows Falls
on the 9th day of January, A. D. 1900, when
and where you may be heard in the premises
II you see cause.
ZINA Ell. ALLBEE, Register.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
Pilgrim. pidnt Celebrate.

The pilgrim fathers forbade the cell
ebration of Christmas as "a heather
mummery."
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
The HaIbard,

Halbard is the arms carry'd by the
serieants of foot and Dragons; the
head of the ballard ought to he foot
hollow to receive the staff. but the
other broad, ribb'd in the middle, edg'd
on both sides and drawing to point,
like the point of two edged sword.
On one side Of the head is likewise
fixed piece in form of half moon or
star, and on the other a broad point Of
four inches long, crooked little,
which is very commodious for drawing
fascines, gabions or whatever obstacle
happen in the way. The staff of the
halbard is about five feet l0pg.a1
inch and half diamets
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
Good Wishes.

God bless the master Of this house,
Likewise the mistress. too,
And all the little children
That round the table 20.
And all your kin and hnsfolk
That dwell both far and near,
] wish you a Merry Christmas
Add Happy New Yeari
-01d Gael
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27

Ceremony was invented by a wise
man to keep fools at a distance.-Chi
cago News
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27
Deafness Cannon be Cured

by local applications, as they esunot reach
thu diseased portion OF the ear. There is only
or. way cure De, fness, aud that Is by con-
stitn'innal remedies. Deafness is caused by
an j, ilaa, !, condition of the mucous lining
ofihe kusis chan Tube. When this tube gets
inf ,,ned YOU have rumbling sound or i'm.
pei feet hearing. and when It is entirely
closed De, fness is the result, and unless tho
Inflammation can be taken out and this tube
restored to its normal condition, hearing WILL
be dc stroyed foI,ver; nine cases GULL
carsed by catarrh, which is not
IL famed condition OF the mpa1un
We will give One HpnaxG
case of Dspfness&
not be cured
for circplan
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27

the soldiers !
17O5.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1900-12-27

cago News.