Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1900-01-05

all the doctors in the locality were in
dignant and when the editor was taken
down with grippe he wisely called in
the veterinarian. He was the same
editor who said the people of the
United States were divided into two
classes-editors and creditors.
There was a down east newspaper
a who attempted to describe the re-
ception of Il visiting delegation by a
candidate for office whom he was sup
porting by stating that 'he spoke in Il
driving rain back of the house." and
When the paper came out it said ''le
spoke Like a driveling maniac to the
house," Whether the house stood it
or not the paper failed to say. And
in describing the music of a young
lady pianist whose "fairy hands
roamed over the keys" the paper said
her "hairy hands glommed over all the
keys" The girls father called the
following day with a riding whip and
delayed the next issue of the paper for
several days, besides building up an
excellent local trade in arnica.
A western editor who was invited
to dinner by a swagger society couple
mortified them in the issue Of the paper
next succeeding when he tried to say
that 1.-THE hostess served bouillion in
cups and the paper said she 'stewed
bully onions in tubs" And in de-
scribing the first Christmas tree of a
little girl, where he intended to say
she burst with Il glad voice into the
parlor and peace fell upon the as
sembled family" the paper made it
"she burst with a loud noise in the
parlor and pieces fell upon the assem-
bled family" Poor girl! Sad melan-
choly fate!
In speaking of the appearance of a
belle at Il society function a South Car
elina editor wanted to say 'she was
swagger and swell, the intoxication of
delight" and when he picked up the
paper to see how it looked he read that
she staggered and fell, Intoxicated
without doubt" What could the poor
girl do? Nothing. You can't hang a
libel suit on Il wrong line in Il news
paper. And where another editor
tried to say linen Miss H hung I'm
the mistletoe on the chandelier" all
the acrobats in the community were
made envious by learning that '"rhen
Miss H hung up by her little toe on
the chandelier In speaking of the
conversation of another young lady
when an editor tried to tell his trusting
eader that her discourse twas belize
the sparkling of old wine." the paper
harshly stated that her conversation
was 'between barking and a loud
Wllne." One more unfortunate! And ut
a masquerade where a pretty young
lady wore the ancient stocks" the
paper said she store her ancient socks"
And even then the hole wasn't large
enough for the editor to crawl out of.
There's another interesting class of
mistakes and that's the kind we find
in examination papers. For example
the boy who said:
1.-The ccliptic is an imaginary line
where the earth tilts to keep YOU from
not falling Off"
"I1le four season is salt. pepper,
mustard and vinegar"
Volcanoes is weird hills filled with
noise and lavender water"
1.-The earth is round so Columbus
could discover the United States.'
"The Nebular hypotcnuse is equal
to the square Oh the base and perpen-
dicular."
"The north pole is where the earth
leaves off at the top, full of magnet
ism"
Caucasian, Ethiopian and Mongo-
liam is the results of Climax
All of these things may or may not
be authenticated but they show how
easily we fall into error.