The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1900-08-03
TRAP WELL LAID.
Rural Citizens Make Victims
Of GothamItes With Rich
Widows as Bait.

L dlui Ol TIC SOiu btiIh bdfHt mas bttu IN
verted and the lively little town OF Can
astota ''up the state is I'm the throes OF a
genuine sensation-not the first IL has
had but one OF the most amusing.
II Is now the proper thing for the green
goods dealer TO build his ambush in the
country town where constables are scarce
and slumbrous and dig his pitfall for the
smart" city man who thinks he knows
II all.
In one OF the New York papers the fol-
lowing advertisement has been appearing
for some months:
PRETTY. honorable lady. very wealthy.
desires early marriage n. H., box l57
carlastota. N. Y.
The alluring bait has been eagerly
seized by many New York young men.
Each and every one OF hundred has
written to the pretty. honorable lady"
inviting her TO come into camp and bring
her money, but she is as much unmarried
as ever.
There IS an awkward squad of romantic
| clerks and patent suspender drummers,
| cheap actors and woeful Jehnnies trying
to cure themselves OF the lover complaint
| by annexing the mysterious beauty of
| Canastota.
A BIT OF COUNTRY HUMoR.
Last week fraiI and ardent counter
hopper from Brooklyn named Walter J.
Watson decided 10 investigate the mat
| ter He inscribed burning epistle To
| the pretty, honorable lady" OF Canas-
tota declaring he would be faithful hus-
band and would supply her with gum
.tsl ~
Then Watson stilled his throbbing heart
| and waited.
When he looted his letter box last Mon
day he received the following reply:
Mr.. Walter j. Watson. Brooklyn, y. Y.
Dear Sir: The lady whose personal
you answered instructs us To state that
| she desires an early marriage. and she
would like 10 form your acquaintance
| with that object I'm view. As a member OF
| our bureau" she has entrusted us 10
give her fun description to you, and be-
low will find the same. which we hope
will meet with your approval. For 81 you
can join our bureau" and we will then
send you her name and address, and you
can enter into direct correspondence with
her. Very sincerely yours.
THE EXCLUSIVE MATRIMONIAL BU-
REAU.
DESCRIPTION
Very handsome widow, OF 2s black cur
| Iy hair and large black eyes; fair COM
plexion; weight, 100 pounds: height, feet
5 inches. Well educated and has $1,000
She also has "A large income. She desires
| a speedy marriage with an honorable gem
tleman, who can look after her property
She is of good character, and can fur
| nish references.
The Exclusive Matrimonial Bureau OF
| C'anastota Is a new and eloquent scheme
| TO part the city man from his money
IL is managed by one T.. Dwight Thomas.
| of Canastota. who was born somewhat
| prior to yesterday. and is entitled TO all
| Of the credit for inverting the rules OF
procedure I'm gold brick transactions
| Since the advent i'm Canastota OF Mr..
Thomas tnat village has become known
| as the gayest town up the state.
A CATALOGUE OF LADIES.
THE Exclusive Matrimonial Bureau
publishes a pamphlet which mas aoueu
greatly to the fund OF American, humor.
| II states that any man can win a rich
| wife on an investment of one dollar; that
| tho manager, f. Dwight Thomas, Is u
| student OF human nature, and makes this
eloquent appeal:
some of our ladies are worth from
| 10000 to 100000 and some are widows
who have been left In independent cir
| cumstances financially, yet they are
| aware that they are not competent 10
| manage practical business affairs, and
that IL they draw upon the principal for
their current expenses. in five or ten
| years time. their capital will be ex-
hausted: whereas. IL they were to marry
some bright brsiny man with good judg-
ment and business ability. and In whom
| they could place confidence. they know
that he could invest their capital i'm some
business with which he was familiar"
Each would-be groom imagined himself
NNA Ia l.1f
then sets forth this burning epigram:
There are many men who have too lit
| tie confidence i'm themselves and are
content to trust to luck in the matter
of falling i'm love. and to marry their
neighbors daughter. who may be very
plain and uninteresting, simply because
she Is handy"
DON'T COURT PUBLICITY.
The philanthropic Thomas deploring
the dearth OF mater couples, then writes
ours is the only matrimonial bureau
i'm America where ladies' names arc not
! published in lists or papers. This Is n
guarantee TO you that the ladies VINO
Join our bureau are select class, who
would not patronize ordinary matrimo-
NAL concerns"
| OF course the victim was not supposed
to think the ladies' names are not pub
lished broadcast because there are none
| To publish. Tnat would nardly De IN
keeping with the new brand of Canastota
humor. and would have nothing To do
with the dollar. One more delicate point
Is explained in the pamphlet. After the
| victim has sent his dollar To promote
local humor and gets no satisfaction, IL
IL To be expected that he will not "see
the point" at once and with good grace.
He might feel sighted and imagine there
was something coming TO him.
|. lie would probably look for a letter
and, not finding one, become an unbear-
able nuisance. The thoughtful manager
provides against any such difficulty by
inserting I'm his pamphlet:
'1mportant.-When you write TO US and
do not get a reply do not become ex-
cited and condemn us as swindlers.
I'VE endeavor To All all orders on same
day as received, and IL you send money
TO us and do not receive your order
within a reasonable length Of time. write
us courteous letter relating how and
when YOU sent the money and we will
give the matter our prompt and careful
attention"
| The admonition 20 the patron To ,,a