The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-05-23


Animals.
Misinformed. Stranger" this Mrs
Slimdiet's boarding house"'
Mrs. S. (sharpiy)-.'Thi is not board
ing house, sir
Hem! Mu~: Eave the wrong number.
Can you tel me where Mrs. Slimdiet
lives?"
II am Mrs Slimdet''
Indeed And you do not take board
ers?"
Certainly not This is private house,
SRA home not boarding house."
Then / have been misinformed."
II should say so. Being lonely, take
a few guests at IS week Would you
like to look at the New York
Weekly.
There are probably no two men in Al
bany so nearly alike and SO much unlike
as ex-Gov. David 3. Hill and Gev. The
odore Roosevelt, relates the Saturday
Evening Post. Both men are fighters,
although their methods differ. Both are
brave and eloquent, and each received
his Office from political party with
which he in many respects differed. The
two governors often meet. and there is
usually a little quiet fun between them
when they come together. Both men
have the gift of saying sharp things.
Not long ago the New York newspaper
men gave banquet at Stanwix hall in
Albany, and among the guests of honor
were the two governors. Col. Roosevelt
came first. He wore an evening suit
and his famous brown sombrero, made
famous by the Rough Riders. 1t was a
combination costume at once original and
picturesque. Among the last of the
guests to arrive was Mr.. Hill. who was
conventionally attired, even to his silk
hat
''Ahw excleimed Col Roosevelt. in his
Mr.. Hills hand, nov we have with us
q real Albany swell Gov. Hill is the
only man here tonight with a silk hat
I've got a SLOUGH hat myself re
turned Mr.. Hill, softly, but | left it at
home. I've given up wearing it since l
went out of the advertising business
Then dinner was announced and the
remainder of the evening passed pleas
antly.
The late Sir William Lockhart's ia
Their, Rev. Lawrence Lockhart, ID. D..
before his succession to the family es-
tate, in Lanarlshire, was parish minister
Of Inchinnan, in Renfrewshire. says the
London Chronicle. When on his success
on to the estates, he was fitting from
1nchinnan, he left a number of things
behind him, stored in a garrett. Some
time afterward he wrote to his successor
to ask him whether the things in the gar
ret were ''all right" and, in particular,
whether they were ''well aired" In re-
ply he was told:
THE things in the garnet are all right,
a Mi'' area anu qu''e ofs--serr'0ns ana
'The talk about ante-election promises
reminds me of the experience Of Il man
who / knew at my old home" said Will
liam Snyder in the Birmingham (Ala.J
AgeHerald. He was candidate for
constable, and just before election day l
asked him concerning his prospects. oh,
| am certain of a two-thirds majority
he answered most cheerfuly.
What causes you to feel so positively
certain?' / asked.
I've got the PROMISES
You place the proper value on cleo
ton promises, it is hoped" | ventured TO
say.
Sure he said, sure! Everybody has
promised to vote for me; but | count one
third of the voters as liars. The truthful
tw0-thirds will vote for me-.
I'm the election the trusting man did
not receive any votes at all. Seeing him
| asked him about it.
81 expressed to you the opinion, said
he. that one-third of the voters were
liars. didn't /!
That's what you said,' he was as
sured.
May amend my observation?
Certainly
Then / strike out "onethird' and
substitute "all''-thus, all the voters Of
our town are liars
80 saying, the defeated one made a
Decline for a drink"
Archbishop Temple of Canterbury is
always made impatient of bores, espe-
cially clerical bores, says a correspond
ent of the New York Tribune. One OF
the clergy Of his diocese who has pest
cred him a good deal recently wrote an
Unfortunately long letter describing a pic
ture which he proposed to put up in the
chance Of tire church. and asking per-
mission to do so. BY the time his grace
reached the end Of the cpistle his pa
tience was quite exhausted, and he re-
piled on q Postcard:
Dear Blank-Hang the picturer'
The clergyman is still wondering how
he ought to regard the reply.
-:0:--
There is crowd of boys in the east
ern part Of town that makes life mser-
able for the neighbors, says the Detroit
Free Press Recently mn elderly lady