The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-01-21
WHlRLOFTHE HAM EX-TANK
INCIDENTS or An ATTEMPT TO rs
CAPE FROM SAN FRANCISCO.

at stockton, Chl.-Iho festhor
Businsss-rhs Horse Bug Cots bnfsins
One Important Fact Overiooke cd
when decided that ums W Jump Slopevill'
and line out for the eastern ssaboard 1t was
In the summer Of % ! had $3.50. enough glno
sngs 70 stock 4 second hand store, several Kim
berlcy rocks and a straight aqua record OF ioui
months behind me-" said ex Tank No "a, h'
theatrical member Of the Harlem Club of fofmeI
alcoholic Degenerat's san Francisco IN sum
ner is ~ dead a. West broadway at ! A. NJ
and there was nothing doing IN my line ! lei
% rich, anyhow. thnt | wanted EN- oil W see no"
shaped up back here In the old parish, Tor wher
I'd struck out from Now York In the wake Of the
setting sun a Bit over a year before was holding
them up with horseshoe nails instead Of buttons
and my shoes were tied with copper wire SC
decided 70 prance In here. all pinked up, and
daze en- UP around Thirty fourth street with
my blue. white boulders, creased wardrobe and
The browny green Governmentstamped slips
Of paper kerish wherewith 70 buy in cases Of
emergency. Oh, bright and gladstone dream
oh, tender and touching fancy. Oh. rosy and
Eliminate that" shouted ex!Tank No ., the
parlismentanan and kicker, jumping TO his feet
Jus, delete thu, cello obligatol You're moi
huring a spiel a. q bunch OF lingo
"AI Anu INV hSefV @A<ah
cut Of tho limelight and give Us q plain. unvar--
The Sergeant a. Arms will subject No.
Q 70 nfteen minutes o! our now corrective cleo
sYical treatment for buckers and interrupers.'
said the Chief Ex-Tank, rising and irownins
severely. When No. 8 was dragged from the
room 70 the Chamber Of Correction, The Ham.
No, "a, will now resume" saidths Chief Ell
Tank.
We'll. I didn't put the scheme over the plate,
anyhow" continued No "a 7 dug up for a
through ticket 10 New York, with parlor car cou'
pons, and then | went out N the CliG House 70
pipe of the seals on the rocks Just once mora Now
II I hadn't ha' done that well. anyway. | met
up with a bridge and trestls drummer there that
I'd had a vortex with down in Los Angeles about
nins months before, and says he, when We sat
down TO dinner in a cosy corner In tho glass front
overlooking the amethyst sea;
Regard me, mate. Study me closely, I've
been riding the Ice wagon for four months TO a
day | have been up the pole for ons hundred
and twenty and odd days This is where | slide
down for a brief, feeting spell
Shocking" said | Away, man Of weak
Will, Hence, creature Of tadpole msntality'
Then wa ordered Martins. and after that q
couple more ro, nds, SOS the dtnner'd set right.
During the dinner Wa had two quarts each
Of the golden geyser product. and by the time
We got 10 the cognao and coffee We were alternately
sympathizing mournfully with the seals on &C.
count Of their monotonous lives on the rocks,
dwelling upon the mprriness Of existence. and
informing each other Of our topnotch qualities
In our respective lines,
The little old voice. however, hummed In my
ear, Son, the main burg that you've got the ticket
for Is six days due east, and Tits is a bum star,
you'er making. Get contiguous 10 yourself.
otherwise II you ever get started al all, you'll
only last half way Of the trip, where you'll have
10 drop of and be sad with yourself for many
days and scurry for another bunch wherewith
10 land in the town Of your soul Take q drop
to the pulp -headedness Of this
&c ANYWAY ! replied TO the little old voice.
you know not whereof you croak. This may
be the last time ! shall gaze upon the wine-dark
Pacific, BegTudge me not tbs three Pacifcs
which ! now sec. This night shall | make was
sail, and on the morrow | shall AWAKEN In a Turk
fish bath, gricved, mayhap, but ready TO Join
the east bound caravan at Oakland Mean
while, lemme alone
"Whereupon the little old voios. after a few
weak growls. became silent ! don't remember
when or where I lost the bridgc-and -trcstle drum
mer, but | lost him. And 10! | did awaken on
ths morrow in a Turkish bath In San Francisco.
The sun was high in the dome.
Count said 10 the Danish noblem an who
had rubbed me and who famed me awake, a,
what witching hour did l come alongside this
frigats and board iT
at 4 o'clock that morning, tho nobleman
informed the.
And was | Uttered with jewels and precious
stones ] inquired Of him. Did ! deposit large
moneys with the
The member Of the Danish nobility disap-
peared for a moment, and when be returned he
told me that not only we're my shiny pebbles
intact in an envelope at the desk, but that there
was a matter Of $500 deposited to my account
This, gentlemen, happened In San Francisco,
you are to remember. ! am thinking Of sending
an account Of i it IN the Society for the Collection
and Publication Of Narratives OF Extraordinary
and Cnaccountable Occurrences.
"Ill start East To. morrow morning. I said
10 myself, as | got my clothes on. spending the
day here in meditation and reflection upon the
evils Of the Bowl
Then | walked idly down to the water from,
10 get up on appetite for breakfast There was
q gang near the Clay street wharf and | crossed
over 10 see wherefore. \ couple Of 'longshore
men in a boat were pulling a drowned man out OF
the water. The drowned man had been in the
water for some time.
That got on my nerves | reflected that I
might have BEEN
We'll, one little green frnppe isn't going &c
stand me on my head, | concluded, and | rode
UP to the Palace and got it. Then | had twelve
more, The next morning the Danish nobleman
famed me awake in a room ~ the Turkish bath,
informing me, at the same time, that all OF my
glit'erers and some $3.50 in converted quarts
were in an envelope With my name on il at the
desk. As to how this happened, ! pass, ] al
ways side step deep ones
I morrow morning said | 10 myself. I viii
HE me at Oakland, board the train, and start
for the East. " where dawn begins. This day shall
lspendin contemplation Of the Horrors of Rum
"Whereupon | called for a morning paper where
with to beguile the sad half hour Of awakening
The paper contained grewsome pictures OF IN,
hodies Of two young women who had been muir
dered in a San Francisco church, one OF the bodis,
having been discovered in the beliry.
The pictures set me a culver, and I touched
the button for n basin Of the green irappe. Tn,
next morning the Danish nobleman tanned m,
awake al the Turkish bath, conveying, AZ III,
same time, the information that, while | was sIl
In possession of my crystal, my wealth in IN,
Office envelope amounted to some 81 only, moi
including The value NJ my ticket 10 New York
After MAT II Is all n sAadOwy, duSky dream
When | happened tu, a couple ul weeks later In
q room in 4 h tel saloon In Stockton | iUuud a
bunch OF familiar locking tickets in my inside