davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11
:' i$s; BE Ceft the ministry.

petty meannesses and bigotry and selfish
ness. have personally met men who got
drunk who / believe have more real
Christian spirit than some OF the promi-
nent members in our churches. This IA
not praislng man for his drinking. but
simply giving tao poor devil his due.
Mtnisteriai Dignity overdone.
The office OF the minister carries with
II certain demeanor and dignity or
course. this has been overdone in the
pa$t- ministerial dignity passing into a
proverb. But the recognition OF being
called and set apart for the work OF spir-
itual mintstration ought 10 make the In
diNidual serious. there is a difference.
however, between wholesome and morbid
seriousness, for my own part, say can
ddiy l had too little OF the ministerial
dignity.
l have been mlsQuoted on some points
but ] do not hold the reporters guilty OF
half the injustice that 1 do the ministers
who. without personal investigation
wrote public demonstrations
Surely the evidence OF such brothoriy
love would conquer any obdurate heart
especially the reception l met with IN
the Methodist conference ON Monday
morning. l thought that they would be
pleased TO listen to the real causes. and
those who hal publicly wrouged me
would be manly enough 90 apologize for
sentaton. / though their sense Of right
and justice would lead them 20 make
some kind OF public repatriation. since
their bitter and unjustihahle coudemna-
ton had been puhlic, I was Eulieless
enough, | say, 70 believe that such was
my due and such they would do. Unfor-
tunately I chose wrong Monday II
had waited for another Monday morning
l might have had a more ready hearing
hut this was their PentecuNtal Monday
They were ser on working themselves up
into frenzy % cmoti0nalisrn and calling
u baptism % the Holy Ghost They
were bard 40 it as / entered. and when
arose On speak they were afraid that
might break the spell ONLY By dsnt OF
perseverance aud amid protests was
granted Ntt inmates 90 make my state
ment what ts then, VAS rfs.ht ana f,,~.
uce7 What 90 them vas truthg What 90
them that q man reputation had been
hsackoned, and they heIped 10 blast tte
They had re time 60 make wrong right.
they had no time 60 seek and know the
truth OK the affair; they had no time ta
help a brother who had fallen into cruel
hands. They must have their Penre-r~tal
meeting-pray and sing and shout
"Amen" unul they had had their "cno-
tional dehauch" and call 81 the outpouriuE
OF the spirit Ii is but Just that I de-
scribe the differeat treatment 7 received
from my brother CONGREGATIONAL minis
,eTS The time for closing the meeting
had fully come before I reached them
after leaving the Meth0dlsts. %sverthe-
less they waited patiently forty-nve min
utes listening TO my statements. question
ing me and appointing a committee 20 In
vesttgate. Not accepting my word not
accepting the published statement bur
calmly and patiently invostis ating tha
charges to see whether they we're TIVE 90
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11

a supernatural, inexplicable thing-a guest
Of the heart and soul. faithful In spite or
the too frequent, pitiful human weakness
es Of its host. For example: One day Mo-
zart, having taken more wine than he
realized, was challenged by his compan-
ions to compose while his head was still
dizzy. A CLEAN came into his dulled eyes
You think | cannot write now ne
said. Give me the pen
They gathered around him silently and
watched him as he wrote rapidly and hu-
emily. Soon he stopped IT Is DONE he
said. Read IT, And what they saw was
the Ave Verum Corpus. famous now for
its depth OF religious feeling-as beautiful
as mothers love. as the high SHOWS on
Rainierw
During all this time the gray clouds had
been yielding place slowly TO plumy white
ones. which thnly yelled the horizon
Suddenly a ray OF sunshine flashed out;
the nlmy veil foated up and vanished.
like "A gauze curtain in fairy tableau.
revealing shining wonder-a vast pyra-
midal height of pure, eternal snow-the
sunset glow was browning Mount Rainierl
a moments silence held us, then Rem
enyi said softly. 1T is the spirit OF gem
ius--so lonely high, so radiant calm"
After a little we spoke of music again.
He gave searching glance at me, and
said abruptly, you have the musical or
ganization: / feel II. You shall play the
great Ave Verum. See. | write the
name for you--where7 Ah here, that is
Well" as I gave him my open diary.
"Wiil you write another name there.
your own?' / asked.
Surely" he said heartily, and added,
while he scrawled his large signature
across the page. but we shall do better
than that. IL you care for the old mans
photograph. It shall be yours. with an
Inscription to YOU"
III cared for ri
BY and by he showed me violin case
that had once belonged to Vieuxtemps,
and. touching his violin. said: "You
shall hear this in your Washington home.
shall come to you when you wish, and
we shall play together"
My very fingers gave n joyful tingle at
the thought of playing with Remenyi, but
instead of thanking him / could only say,
"Oh!" breatblessiy. Yet / think he was
satisfied. for as he looked at me he gave
an amused. pleased little laugh.
Just before we reached Seattle, he told
US why no was going there. and thus we
discovered that he possessed that rarest
OF human traits. gratitude. He had taken
the long journey from Chicago to thank
the Seattle doctor, who. he told us. had
some years before cured him of Bright's
disease
MY heart Is 40 full of thanks that
should be a thief IL did not 40 and give
them to him. for they are all his own
he said vehemently.
As the train came into the station. we
bade him good-5y. but he shook his head
Not yet-not yet good-hy. l come to-
night to listen and applaud and cheer"
And he kept mis- word.
My father was escorted to the hall
rather early, and found him on the door
steps of the great building. waiting for
the doors TO open. The rain was pouring
down and he was protected by black and
gray striped shawl. wrapped gypsy-wise
about his shoulders, and hat perfectly
adapted TO play the part of an umbrella
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11

was not fttcd for and purchase ~
ar such a price. l knew l should - -
understood, but inward reIf-contsmes
harder 10 endure than any cepsuss -
may he placed uuon mo from vlthssl
The church would lie richer and the -
dom come more quickly y some " =
ministers would ieava IL and earn - -
eat living.
Love OF Truth IL IAckisG.
believe also that there are too nss
Protestant churches. soma OF whscn ~
very unwiSely placed for dosnk tnF1
work. II there were iess "depofninai'nsa
pride" and more love OF truth. 49,
were a greater emphasis placed on inas
essential things that make fnr cnfno.s
unity and iesm on the nvnsssetaass -
make for diversity. IN short " ihefs "a.
really love To Christ. and l0yalU 70 -
person ana service In Christians. me ~
graceful condition that nov cbA.-
would not exist Think 81 a esnnsa,1
or less than 900 people rsIssssniea y
from Eve 70 ten different dsnoinsfses
nud sects. each poorly Attended aha =
struggling for bare exlEtahrsi y - -
were good. common business sense 49,
them, II thefa were q wh8les9Hs 49,
10 serve God IN reality and ~, y -
only. " their purpose WaA 70 vlba "
Institution that stood for riahfs11fes
truth. justice ana purity In sociA
political life and % haS. y sa~cls.
influential, think you not fhsT npaa
get the trivial differences ana bha 49,
60 unite on the grand purpose 80
hvrag Alas. too many ~ thH -
Christians want a place ~issfs fnes
cBgiAr views and theif peculiar peesasa -
come together 20 have the e'sce-
'ickled and THAR pet theories epn s.hs.<
Let ethics AND not theology. rsofAsv "a
not ritual, a clean. true. F9AHlg w
not intellectual beliefs, the saY'ne
Christ and not tho opinions 81 thss'ss, =
"a love 60 God that Leads 70 Jssfi1@
our brother man tss taught and s'hss
sized % the ministers who hsfs II.
the eivine rail- and Who come oNis .'.s,s
people az tbs prophets ~ Gpa. ssf =
sin "a high and iqw placed. siss 49,,
neither rich ngr pgqf. b2fAsHs u ~
message 10 their hearts, and ush (.
great itgcbllf, bci rnasnes woala s1xs
the standard of the church. FOX ~
then be Gods iusfrusieni q hFins =
reign 81 Fightsouanssa -.
I hase acted vary mgeh ~ ~ -
WIN fell doNu ihe stairs vffh $500
piece Of eros keFy IN his hands - -.
his whole fhoAghi wae Cor tiss {.
and he nearig broke every hana ~
body % save g. Ifis glist nssfass -
noise, ran 70 the had of ~ stei1s 49,
sealing her husband lsing ~ q s.+ss
hap AZ she bottom. cried gaAs 80
John. have YaH brckeu iAas ysss ~
d. Is. / didn't. bat I sin. ard VIZ
he hurled u agatnst fhr EsA ~
said that leFt the ministry pssA- "a. =
church vas sali o. hypocrites. tilt ~ ~
warranted. uuiusiiHable aaa w na''. =
attacks both In ths psess ana r# 80
With which J have besn asasiisa "a go
iiAns ~ al deto5aigatioli ana r -
hy their ministry. have - ~
some plain ard harsh ihinRs sp .s..,.A
rreis more thau myself that NJ go go
and IL ministry Ga ops-a 60 snch - -
49, { may herein have stated. ana
te0t tbis rsii Tem rss ne re fe
nc g.ag Go uaFKe &l4e hafFA $3.50 -
will bring coa,epyt aaa ana asisAs =
u1x hsS3
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11

(HE Rev. James Machines saw ut a
:" few days ago 10 resign from tho
ministry-to give up oil that no
~ had worked years TO accomplish,
and TO admit that he had been
mistaken I'm choosing such a vocation.
MIR Machines has a fine church record
he has lifted the debt from both OF the
churches that fell 10 hts eare--nrst
from Oak Leaf chapel. In Oakland. Cal.
and then from the Congregational church
OF Benicia. lie won the admiration and
friendship OF HIS parishioners. Exactly
what he thinks OF the church and lust
why he determined TO leave II IL frankly
and ably told by himself. The mere fact
that lie Jaw 1T 10 abandon the ministry
would have caused not a little surprise
among his brethren. but nothing In COM
parison TO the squat that has arisen On
account OF tho reasons rendered by tho
reverend gentleman for this resignation.
Mr.. Machines statement. which appeared
Ia tho San Francisco Call. Is
There Are som. H,pocrite..
I give myself gladly 20 tho task. Tor
am grateful Tor the opportunity OF speak
Ing az first hand. / have been quoted as
saying that the church H. fun OF hypo-
critics and that Is the chief reason for my
leaving II. deny that l ever said that
the church Is fun 81 hypoctltes. l do say
and behave that there are church-goers
who are stepped tn hyprociSy people who
SO 10 church Cot the standing that u may
give them IA social or business circles tast
AZ aomc men toin the Masons anG other
orders for tho prestige Il gives them.
nypraclsy has It's seat IN human nature
There Ia not a walk In Tie wherc We dop't
find Tin business. law. medicine. poh-
ties and especially In society. The church
10 made up of human beings, and can we
wonder that some Hypocrisy creeVs into
thu church, For tho benefits TO be de-
rived therefrom. the church would uAtur-
ally attract hypocrites They are the
black sheer IA the ncck, But have al
ways said and nFmly believe that The
good people IN church are beyond COM
para with those outside. And the truly
hypocrites who mask under falsa piety,
/ believe II a mA0 needs a drink he has
the right 20 take one, providing be has
the money TO pay for II. There IL a dit
ferpnce between taking drink and
drunkenness. The questions os drinking.
dancing, card playing and kindred enjoy
,nents Ia n matter 81 personal liberty and
must Ia settled by tbs individual con-
science. Personal liberty Is the most
sacred thing In the world. aud by person
AL liberty mean the right TO think right
or the right TO think wrong; the right TO
do right. but nor the right 10 do wrong;
far a man Il not only an individual but a
social unit. and his wrong action Is in
turi ,as TO his neighhor. Personally I do
not dance, but my not dancing Is no rea-
SON why I should forbid another an tn
noceut enjoyment. I believe that a man
who may take a drink and indulge IN
many OF tho aunusements which some
churches taboo may be nearer the king
dona OF heaven than n man within the
church who may refrain from deing any
Of these things, but whose heart - fa!l OK
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11
My highest regards TO your father.
/ am, my dear Miss Boutelle,
Your humble servant,
EDOUARD REMENYI.

When I came in to take my seat, I saw
him in the very front row, and instantly
no was at my side. AS l thanked him, he
seemed delighted at my pleasure, and
fairly radiated kindness.
He bowed over my hand with quaint
courtesy, and kissed IL, after escorting me
to my seat. and then left me to so back
to his own.
In all that great audience my father
had not a more attentive listener than
he. l could see his broad-brimmed black
hat nodding violent approval. and hear
him exclaim aloud in his enthusiasm.
When the entire discontinue Of a would
be interrupter OF the speech was ac-
complished his satisfaction was bound
less. lie nudged his companion until I
feared the unfortunate man would be
black and blue, and elapped Justify and
shouted, "Bravol Bravo! Bravor'
The last glimpse had OF him was at the
close Of the meeting. when the audience
rose in body and cheered as If they
never would stop. His face was aglow,
and his PREDETERMINED hat swung high In
the air.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11

false. That 1 hold to be Just and reason
able. Surely more in accord with the
spirit of Christ and more apt to bring
down the blessing from on high than
empty prayers and religious frenzies.
Not Called To the Ministry
left the ministry because / became
convinced that was never called TO that
sacred office. IL the poet Is born 10 his
lte's work, so ia the true minister lie
must be ordained to Il before his birth,
no must hear the holy call within his
heart IL must be a burning FIRE within
him, and HIS cry Woe Is me " I preach
not the gospel" My idea OF entering the
ministry came By the advice Of q jealous
but misguided friend at a time of great
personal sorrow. In two months I had
lost iavorite brother and my mother.
our home was broken up and there was
an estrangement between my father and
my self. All these my unwise friend urged
as voices from God, calling me 20 dedicate
my ihe 10 the ministry. What bias
phemyt l was n mere youth: ] listened
ana accepted his advice. II I dedicated
my life 20 God then he was worthy OF
my very best, ana I prepared a course
covering twelve years of study As
progressed Ia my studies the conviction
stole upon me that / had never been set
apart Tor that work. but resolved 10 give
II an honest triaL After three wears az
experience IN the active ministry ami
earnest thought and prayer. I became
convinced that I WAS not called TO the
yhnfch. What way VAS then open 20 mo
hut go leave ~ II was no easy matter "a
say that ] had made mistake. bat {
must be true TO the sttll small voice ~
conviction whatever the consequences. 3,
/ resigned. and honestly told my people
that dars not longer be their minister.
nus conviction of my never having been
FAl'ea 10 the ministry was decpenrd az
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11
And then he was lost to sight in the de-
parting throne

And then he was lost to sight in the de-
parting throng
:.
The following December 1 came down 10
breakfast one morning in the Washington
hotel that was our winter home, and found
a letter waiting for me, forwarded from
Bangor. and addressed in curious foreign
hand. Beside 1t was a fiat package, and
opening It. / saw photograph of Remenyi.
He was sitting beneath a palm. as If rest
ing for a moment; his beloved violin was
in his hand, and his old face wore the
keen and kindly look l knew so well.
Across the back Of the picture he had
written:
To Miss Grace II. Boutelle.
You see across my head the graceful
palm-tree. my favorite tree among my
favorite arbors, and thusly. meeting you
across the whole continent of Uncle
Sans dominions. in the state Of Wash
ington opposite Maine at some little
distance. that souvenir will remain in
delibly with the old man,
Your most humble servant,
EDOUARD REMENYL
Cairo Qll)
with the Mississippi mighty river in
fun view.
9Th of December. 1896.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11
To Miss Grace Boutelle,
from
Edouard Remenyi.
Seattle, Wash, 20 Oct, 1886.

And on the thirty-second page. at tn,
head of the Ave Verum Corpus
Here is music full of divinity.
ed. Remenyl"
The accompanying note ran thus:
St. Marks Rectory,
Fourth Avenue and Olive Street,
Seattle, Washington,
% of Oct, 1896
To Miss Grace Boutelle-
Dear Miss Boutelle: "Bis dat, Out
cito dat" says the old proverb.
Here is the AVE Verum" of Mozart,
transcribed by List. In playing ii,
penetrate as deeply in its unfathom-
able depths as you can, and then you
will know what heavenly music means
here.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11

were on our way from Olympia to
to Seattle, where he was to speak that
night
Low, gray clouds persstentiy hid the
sky as we started, and gave offcious hints
OF approaching rain.
AS nv cheerfulness OF mind always de-
ponds largely on the barometer. decided
that the world held nothing attractive--ex-
cept nap. After awhile / was aroused
by an especially violent and helpless nod
OF my hcad--heads are such inconvenient
and Unbalanced things on a railway Jour
ney,
Just as I began to collect my faculties.
my father came along the aisle toward
me- with some one beside him. The some
one was short and broad with a homey,
quaint. kindly old face. and a shrewd and
merry twinkle In his eye. In a moment
We had met and I knew II was Remenyi.
And this Is the daughter-so," he said.
II have looked mt the father from the car
seat behind--then In flash have known
him from his pictures. II is long now
that I have read his every speech. first
word to Iast-and because of this. lave
taken the liberty to make myself known
TO him--yes And now let us sit down and
talk little together, the three"
cast my cherished Paris travelling bag
ruthlessly on the floor to make room for
them on the opposite seat. and in mo-
fpcnt they we're deep in the Hawaiian uues-
tIon. agreeing with each other yehemently
''ft should be a fact accomplished al
reihy." said Remenyi. This indecision,
ihis delay 10 acquire what by every natur-
nj law belongs 70 the United States--I am
impatient while think OF 1t. Your speech
" In my head and In my heart. Let the
diners follow what you have begun
Ills grasp OF the political questions OF the
day astouished me. for he semed to have
read all sides. and TO have formed very de-
cided opinions OF his own.
After awhile. the conversation turned 10
music, and the wide-awake enthusiasm
which the political dscussion--or rather
agreement--had brought into his rugged old
face. changed into noble sort OF radiance
that grew with every word ne spoke. First
ha described tho deteriorating effect OF
shallow music on character. SO uncompro-
missing was his denunelaton Of II. that even
now, N ever happen to play n popular
air OF tho day, l feel sharp prick OF
conscience. and hear him say again, What
IL not fine Is bad There is no standing still
forward or backward--backward or for
ward--choose
lie spoke Of many composers who would
live only short time beyond their own
period because. with all their brilliance
their clcverness, their beauty they lacked
depth. Then he turned to the great COM
posers. 'waRner-Ah. yes-a genius.
unique. dramatic, mighty
Beethoven. who knew sorrow and
agony--tremcndous. unfathomable. I'm
mortal
Chopin. with emotion for the universe.
Mozart, with his perfect form. his eie-
gance and grace, his pure spirituality. dse-
tined to grow and rise more and more
great from age TO age.
'Gcnius-what n wonderful word-what
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11

When the sirdar visited US u viii - -
membered he wore stand-up-aii-rdaa1
collar, which IL known by various lam
such az the "pragoon." the ''khasfoua'
etc. but whatever name u IL known =
to the different makers. the high Naee
up, says the Tailor and Gutter. ~
most fashionable shape in collars todHe.
and is selling In much larger auantlies
than any other style since the sifAar -
tho fashion. IL In certainly smart. MP
tary-iooking collar. and for that rtesm
alone It IL quite certain 10 remain see5
much in vogue for q long time % coee
on account of the popular sdmlsa'in
which exists Just now for all thinSs mia'
tary. London Globe.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11

roll of music and note which he had
brought for me. l found them both when
I came in a little later.
Our train did not arrive until after c,
and as the meeting began at s. he must
have sighted his dinner sadly to hurry
out in the rain and find for me the Mozart
album which contained the Ave Verum."
on the cover he had written:
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11

The letter was from him al,o
Cairo, H., sunday 9Th ia, 10.
To Miss Grace II. Boutelle "a
Ne. Dear Miss Bcutelle. k~.
1 did not answer Your good ana -.
full letter-hut sun better b., $3.50.
think SOY I send You herewith tbs 49, !
ed photograph OF the old fissle, ~
now you see that you are no r,a.. ~
gotten than the Ave verun corr.,. :.
Apollonian form. and by this ,,r.s
hope you know the Ave verum g..
by heart-if so. You cannot 20 aho,,, :
around with something purer ina, ~.
the ozone on the Alps. or IN 49,.
cannot be purer-there now tina, ,a.,ss4
IL Tell your good and gres; fashsr 40
enjoyed Immensely his good ana -.
speech, was awakened when ma -
your father. was awakened BY the -.
welcome (although stupid interr,n,ssS
or that somebody In tho audien,,. !.
Seattle I enjoyed the whole srs.,'s
hugely. but tho interrupter Was A A.
of the first water and he would 3essr,..
a first-clsss putty medal-and he o,,...
TO have II, too. Tell also your s,,sss
that II by his exerticns and hy N. a..
administration. Hawaii is not annsvss
(hy MAY, 1871 10 the United STATE. u.
s,,r,rs- tba ,,.h,,o ,,,,. - ~ NeFsn
-, -, =. -, - ~ ssn-ahnsxs'ias
"a -. -, a., ra'sunshs encxA
~" 80 s,, any S0''eo'e-scrsA
wv anu s'sn .liS ss
V"' rs. nu.noie servant
DANpca AND hEMENyt
fease let me KNOW az my eemrs.
ternai address II you have received q,
old mans photograph all O. X.
II was my last letter from him. N
engagements did not bring him to wssA
ington while l was there, and I nsve
saw the old hungarian violinist again
;.
A,o,~ ~. ,,a-,o,. r.,,,,n,. !.
,,r,t ,ha rounds ~ tha M nsrs y, ~. w
~ hts aaath saw mona r,a,s. ,~-sa-
,han ,hc stnry ~ ~ ,,.,, ~ ssuea%
ca.n ,n 1850 xyhe, yo,ns ,n...s ~ 80 ~
,,ss.,,,,a 80, "a na,,a 80. $3.50 y
,.,,.t,,a s,a,ss ,,,,,,, !, a,,,,. -. -. H@
To-, a,,ay 81 a ,iol,, ,e,,s 49,. -. -
80, ,nar sLttl pa,rer,,, r,,,s.,,. ss Nv "
Nc naad ,oy a., ,ns,y,,,v,.n, TX. ssl ~
"a.,,,,a hts 49, a, MR., u,,s,,,,s....,s -
araII,, harass 4, oyer WI
TN, ,sa,s hass, s,,., r,ax
49,, "a s..n,s,,s, ,r.ss,, m.s ~ 49, s.'s1
.,.',aa :. ,ss,a, a, a. 49, ,,','.s 80 -
,ts,.. n,.a., ~, .,>,.,,, ~ . ~,
s,inn, entnr.,,aa u,th ~. -, -
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11

My father took him into the little ante
room and asked that he be given the best
seat possible near the front. AS the usher
was about to take him in. he produced
from beneath the folds of his shawl
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11
n sssss
E7Sb -
G& Remenyi'$ ~~ +
II East Vi$it II Seattle. t
BY GRACE II. BOUTELLE.

- > . - -"
2szssgsszSsgSsgsszsass 81 NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-02-11

In Rev. James Machines saw At a
few days ago TO resign from tho
ministry~to give up all that no
had worked years TO accomplish,
and To admit that ha had hpen