davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22
Found whisky After so Years.

Morgantown, ". Va.-John Guseman
has jug of whisky fifty years old which
aged in a curious way. Guseman lived at
Cheat Neck; this county, fifty years ago.
When boy of 10 he ran away from home
and never returned until this week. Be-
Aore he ran away he bought a gallon jug
OF whisky and hid it in a stone pile near
ms nome. He went to Texas and became
well-to-do, and upon his return home
thought of the jug he hid half century
ago. Yesterday he hunted over the
ground and located the spot and found
the jug untouched. The whisky, what
little is incorporated, gets q be,.d as big
as soap bubble when shaken and is as
thick as molasses.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

British troops, when they were about,
fifty yards from our position, put UP
their HANDBAGS well as Il white flag
whilst at tie same time your cannon
bombarded our troops with the result
that Commandant Debeer was wound.
cd. Yesterday morning he head com.
mandant VIZ g in his account OF the
battle as F:!ows:
"'Soldis hoisted the white flag.
but We're then fired AT by cannons
and conpellel to charge.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

ago, stating my case to you.
Il had pains through my bowels,
headache. and backache, felt tired
and sleepy all the time, was troubled
with the whites. l followed your
advice, took your Vegetable Com
pound. and it did me lots of good. l
now have baby girl. ] certainly be-
lieye would have iniscarried had it
net been for Lydia T.. Pinlsham's vege-
'able Compound. ! had very easy
,iala; Was SICK only II short time.
ihim'i year medicine is godsend to
women in the condition in which l
was. recommend it to all as the best
medicine for women. - Mrs. MARY
4ASE. Coy.tee. Tenn.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

Has had a new demonstration of use
fulness BY the captain of 4 liehtsl,ip,
who used it after ordinary signals had
failed, to notify the shore authorities
of danger. In q like manner Hostel
lcr's Stomach Bitters, the famous in
digestion and dyspepsia cure, acts
when other mcdcines'fai. 1t rcgu-
lates the bowles and improves the APP
petite
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

Ton Can Get Aliens Foot Ease FREE.
Write TO-DAY to Allen s. olmstel. lie Roy. N.
u, for a FREE sample OF Aliens Fo,.- Ease, a
powder to shake into your shoes. 1t cures tired,
swsatine damp, swonen, aching lcet. 1t makes
new or tight shoes easy. A certain cure for
Corns and Bunions. All druggists and shoe stores
sell it. 25 cents.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22
Beers DESTROY BRIDGES.

Blow Up Those North OF Blnemcon.
tein ana. Retreat North
Caps Town. March 222.-Ihe Beers
have blown up bridges north OF
Bloemfonten. including those at
Wimburg and kroonstadt ere now
retreating north.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

Hf'aio Times: Poor old Jones'.
TIE grocer died early his morning"
s:.id the Village eelitol's Better half
"!'uh." exclaimed the local opinion
molder, "he's been dead for years"
'i'cen dead scr ycars,' echoed tho
#stoni:'hed wife, "Why what do YOU
mean"
just what said" replied the V. f.
Any man in business who doesn't adj
v9lt.sc is q dead one
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22
F0a A PACIFIC CABLE.
Senate Committee on Navel Affairs

Senate Committee on Naval AYairs
Agrees TO Report Hale4BiIf..
Washington. March 22..%'fhe- Senate
committee on naval affairs today
agreed to report the bill for Pacific
cable which Senator Hale was author
lied to draft at the last meeting of the
committee. and the report was later
presented to THE senate. The bill pro-
vides for present cable only to Hon
oluln, but declares it is the purpose
to extend ii in future. Three million
dollars are appropriated for the work
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22
Kill THE babies
Careless Mothers Who Use
Dangerous Purgatives
Menace to Mankind Easily Avoided by the
Use of Rational Remedy Every Mother
Should Heed the Warning.

The slaughter of the innocents was moth.
ing In comparison with the destruction OF
infants caused by "physc. III,
Not SO very long ago The poor little stller.
ers were usually forced to swallow violent
purges, and it was luck II they got over II
all right.
The stomach and bowels of the baby are
sources of constant discomfort The milb
food sours In the baby's delicate little in.
sides, and forms curd and the fermentation
of this undigestea substance makes gases
which produce wind cole. Then the little
people begin 10 scream with agony. and the
excited mother or nurse pours down INC
That's tho time for the use of Cascarets
Candy Cathartic If the babe be sucking
the mother makes her milk mildly puigaiive
by eating Il Cascaret Older infants cnt a
little piece like candy. In All cases cas-
cnrets are mild but positive. never grip nor
grippe, stop sour stomach move the bowels
naturally, and put things right us they
should be.
day. IT'S what they do. not what we. say
they'll do, proves their merit, All drug
gsts Zoe. 25c or zoe. or mailed for price.
Send for booklet and free sample. Address
Sterling Remedy Co., Chicago; Montreal,
Can, or New York.
This is the CASCARET tablet.
Il{1#eaEA Every tablet of the only genuine
R4 "A AZ Cascarets bears the magic letters
AyHAS8 "CCC" Look at the tablet before
fsaXsM YOU buy. and beware OF frauds,
&SSY limitations and substitutes.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22
.lus1 Whcrn He NYns Az.

London rid-Bits: She enthusiast
cally) t'n, George, don't you think
the greatest JOY i'm life is the pursuit
OF the good, he true and the l'eauti-
fula."
He That's what am here for, my
darling."
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

From an Interpretation of u passage
in tlic Koran, Moslems are forbidden
10 have shades TO heir eyes, hence the
absence of the peak. both from the
iez and he turban.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

The. inhabitants OF Braumlinger,
Switzerland, pay no taxes, and the
community is so rich that each citi-
zen receives a present every year.
Loads of wood and $50 was the pres
ent in 1899.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

Philadelphia has eucher club COM
posed entirely of red-hsa(led Young
women. One of its members says they
have a hot time
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22
SIS PER WEEK.

A Salary Of sls per week and expenses will be-
pal to man viii! one two horse rig to intro
ei.. our Poultry Compound and Lice Killer
among Farmers. Address with stamp,
ACME MFG. Co. Des Moincs Iowa.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

Lieutenant Commander j. c. Gill
more, who was held captive by the
Filipinos for so many months, is ON
his way home on the Solace.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

Only trial of I'isos Cure for Con
is needed TO convince you
that ii is a good remedy for Coughs
Asthma and Bronchitis.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

Speltz. Rromus. Rape. Corn. Uats.
Five remarkable things. Bound to
make YOU rich, Mr.. Farmer. Salzer
catalog tells the story. Send DC postage
and this notice today for catalog TO John
A. Salzcr Seed CO., La Crosse, WIS; :,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

Mrs. yyinsloyv's soornrse SYRUP for Children
tectiins, softcns the gums reduces Inflammation,
allays pain, cures wind collie. Csc bottle.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22
my BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY
wcals Women, Made Happy by Lydia e.
Pn!,i,ams Vegetable Compound :
letters from Two Who Now Have
Children.

DEAR Mrs. PiNEnAM 1t was my
ardent desire to have child j had
been married three years and was
chileiless, so wrote to you to find out
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

on d marble slab i'll the parish Church
of Tetbury, Worcestershire, England. is
inscribed: .'In vault underneath lie Sew
eral of the Saunderses. late of this par
ish. Particulars the last day will dis
close. Amen
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

To cure Cold In One Day
Take Laxative Isromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund the money il il fails tocure.
25c. 4. W. Groves signature ia ~ each box.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22
Hunlors
Of The Blood

Come to a certain percentage of all the
people. Probably 10 per cent. of these
people are cured every year by Hoods
Sarsaparilla. and we hope by this ad
vertisement to get the other % per
cent. to take Hoods Sarsaparilld,. Il
has made more people well. effected
more wonderful cures than any other
medicine in the world. Its strength
rs a blood purifier is demonstrated by
,,,orvoIauc !,1rnc of
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22

G reason. After fol-
wing your kind adj
cc and taking Lydia
J. Pinlham's Ncge-
able Compound. | be-
came themother of
\ a beautiful baby
a boy, the JOY of our
r home. He is a
I fat, healthy baby,
thanks to your medi-
cine. Mrs. MISDA.
llNKLm, Roscoe,
\ n. y.
sA From Grateful
sAA Mrs. Lane
"a
H;aA =" DEAR Mrs.
.,J PISKHAM: [
iSs' wrote you a let
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-03-22
ALABASTlNE: | !; s3.. q: y

ings, made. ready for use by mixing with Geld
water. 1t is cement that goes through pre-
coated ard recoated without washing off its
old coats before renewing. Alabastins Is made
in white and fourteen beautiful tints. 1t il
with compata directions on every nacka 20
The Globe-republican., 1900-09-27

defensive, against the Filipinos as a peo-
pie The FiEpinos number probably ten
millions OF people and two millions of
men capable of bearing arms If they
were united in war against US, the little
army which we have there would scarce
" be circumstance in their way. But
the majority of the Filipinos are quiet,
doc1le people. not disposed to night and
not engaged in the insurrection now prac-
tcally quel1ed- Aguinaldo had compar-
atiFely few supporters outside of his own
tribe, the Tagalogs, who comprise prob
ably one-tenth of the whole mass of Fill
pinos. He, in his mad effort for abso-
lutte rule, attacked the forces of the Unit
: ed States, and were compelled to Quell
the insurrection-
3. The United States troops in the
Philippines for the protection of the peo-
pie from murder, rapine and misrule, and
for the preservation of law. order and
property rights. For many years there
have been robber bands in the mountains
who would from time to time light down
upon the villages and rob and murder the
people The Spaniards paid no attention
TO the interior. but protected only the
coast Last spring one of these bands
attacked a Filipino village and, in addi-
ton to the robbery and killing, carried
away thirty Filipino women to the hills
Two companies of United States soldiers
pursued them, attacked and dispersed the
band, and restored the women to their
friends. We bringing to these islands
true liberty, Liberty protected by law
4. The possession and control of these
pectedly and unsought. They are ours
by treaty, and treaty which Mr.. Bry
: approved We responsible to the
nations of the earth and to the Judge
of all the earth for their care We
cept- the responsibility in the fear of God
and the love of humanity. may not live
to it, my boy, but if you live twenty
years you viii the most marvellous
development in the worlds history in the
Philippines. Good roads, good schools,
the development of agriculture, manufac-
lures and mining, the Introduction of
American push and energy among the
people, railroads. and a hundred other
means of transformation You will see
there twenty millions of contented and
prosperous people who will rejoice in
their liberty and their privileges and be
proud Of their relations to the greatest
of all nations, the United States of Amer
lea And then. my boy, every Democrat
in America will swear that he always
was in favor of that thing and that he
ever expansionist of the first
water. YOUR FATHER.
The Globe-republican., 1900-09-27
DEAR Boy LETTERS 6
Ny Dear Boy:

Ny Dear Boy
So your employer, Mr.. Skinner, says
that THE Filipinos ought to have their
liberty and United States soldiers ought
to be in better business than making war
on an innocent people and strangling the
life out of new republic
Since Mr. Skinner has put in nutshell
the substance of Mr. Bryan's speech,
shall dispose of Mr. Bryan and the whole
anti-im perialist crew in answering Mr..
skinner 1 know that you have but little
time to read and shall the fewest
words possible, as I shall endeavor to
give you a clear, intelligent view of the
situation over in our new possessions.
l. Our soldiers are not stranging the
life out of a new republic, for the very
good reason that there never was any
republic in the Philippines. republic
is government by the people through
their chosen representatives The people
of the Philippines never We're consulted
about the so-called Filipino Republic
It's head tricky young Taga1og
named Aguinaldo, who proclaimed him
self dictator and endeavored to make
himself SO by force of arms Republics
are not governed by dictator The form
of government which took the place of
constitution in the so-called republic was
lengthy personal decree of Aguinaldo
himself 1t was not a republic but
despotism which he sought to esta blish.
The people of the Philippine Islands
made up of many different tribes, Negri-
toS, TagalOgs, Moros, NiSayanS, and more
than fifty others. These tribes are sep
arate in blood. sympathies. and to a large
extent in language In addition to them
there thousands of Spaniards, Ger
mans, Americans. and people of other
tions who resident there. and whose
persons and property are to be protect
ed. In addition to all these large
numbers of Mestizos. people whose moth
ers were native Filipinos, but whose faith
ers were Japanese. Chinese or Spaniards-
There is proba bility that one-half
onethird of all these vast numbers of
people would consent to be governed by
a guinaldo and the Tagalog tribe which
he represents Many of them would GER
tainly fight against it. The abandon
ment of the islands by the United States
army would mean, not liberty to the peo-
pie, but among themselves, result
ing in either despotism anarchy
?. The United States has never made
war upon the Filipinos- We have not
even been engaged in war, offensive
The Globe-republican., 1900-09-27
FARMER BRYANS Nightmare
HUGO DENKENS PRUCT.
a Wisconsin Farmer and Ex-Justice
of the Peace to His Nephew.

Yes, Jonathan, that Indianapolis
speech as you say, is very fine and lots
enough. but L kvit him for the sake of
his sixteen to one humbug, and the
demonstration at indianapolis makes me
kvit him more lie says he right
then and the people wrong, and that Lie
is right now and the good people must
now apologize by electing him President.
The other fellows in the convention at
Kansas City have not so much faith, but
they have hopes. they compromise
with Mr. Bryan and raise crop of ca
lamity imperialism mixed with the six
teen to one old seed, saying to them
selves, Where one don't grow the other
WILL
Did you ever try to drive in the barn
with your hay-load too big on one side
too much haw on one side and too much
wheels the other? Yes, you did: and
you didn't say, Uncle Hugo, we needn't
unload. all we do is to back out and
paramount another big lot of hay on the
other side; then We drive in the barn all
right
/. will tell you a little true story which
reminds me of this loading up at Kansas
City with the reafiirmatiOn business and
the paramount imDerialisn'' the top.
GERMAN INDEPENDENCE
A very nice talking man called on my
/ father one day to enkvire for sheep and
| calves to buy They soon struck a bar
/ gain in which he was to pay twenty dol
lars for two calves and six sheep That
| was before greenbacks- He offered my
| father a twenty dollar bill, but he was
/ afraid of wild cat money there was
/ plenty of it in those days. my father said
| he wanted hard money. After much nice
| talk from the man my father said: NO.
| I rather have the sheep and calves" "
| Then the man went with his fine talk
/ and complimented the Germans, saying
pleasant things about the German indie
pendence OF character
| So they were about to part friendly
terms when the dealer took an awful
| kvick fancy to one of our horses Pretty
soon a bargain was struck for one hun
| bred dollars. When the buyer came to
| pay, however, he pulled out eighty dol
lars in silver and gold and that same
| twenty dollar bill Then there was talk
| till you couldn't rest, but my father said
| at LAST NO, rather have the horse
| The stranger answered: We'll, / give
you my note for the BILL but my father
The Globe-republican., 1900-09-27
WHAT is A Tornado

What is a Tornado? is the question you
will hear
Asked by every one you meet at this time
of the year
1t seems awful stupid, that often feel
inclined
To Cyclone with my intellect the whirl-
wind OF their mind
Now, a full-grown Tornado. it is very
seldom seen.
1t leaves its tracks behind it. and you
know where it has been
1t comes so very sudden, and as quickly
doth depart,
That its coming and its going is impress
ed upon your heart
Now, I've told you all about it, there is
nothing more to know.
Until early in November, when Mchin-
1ey's sure to show
A Monsoon and Typhoon. with 4 whir1
wind the side.
Galivanting through the country, tanning
Democratic hide
james L. Bromley kite Pilling-
The Globe-republican., 1900-09-27
CHAPTER ".
Cynthia Grows Skeptical.

CyhIn1a OFOWS SkepucaI
Two or three days had passed by and
the report had been confirmed that VIII
lam Mckinley, of Ohio, was to be the
next President of the United States.
Political Simon was able to be up
and around as Cynthia expressed it.
though his face was slightly disfgured-
He had stayed away from BoonsviIIe
quite a while, it seemed to the people
of the town
pa said Jimmie, IF you stay at
home much longer people will think
you're ashamed of your face
well, I'm not, my son. Many a mar
tyr before me has worn disfigured
countenance.''
'"Then you'd better get a move on
you and go down town and pay up
what you bet on Bryan
simon said Cynthia, did you bet
on Bryan?''
Not much, Cynthia, but still we shall
feel the loss of it now
well, am surprised said Cynthia,
in establishment. How much did you
bet?''
Twenty dollars. the money 1 got for
the old, speckled cow. but you I ex-
pected to get forty dollars back, or two
cows for one
II hope, Simon, that you have learned
a lesson. Went and took the last dol
lar we had and fooled it away What
would you think If 1 had done such
thing as that?''
TT wouldn't have been very proper
| in a woman, but men, who sup
posed to know about such things, often
make piles of money this way"
Yes, you tell how much you have
made" Cynthia said sarcasticalIy.
Cynthia! Don't be unreasonable;
half of the bets made have been won
| I just happened to be unlucky, but not
much more unlucky, after ALL than any
one else McKinley's election will he
| detriment to all laboring classes, and
/ in regard to his victory, we may as well
/ all be considered unlucky."
.-Simon, they say down in Boonsville
hogs have gone up 10 cents hundred
! since last Tuesday election day., and
| corn cents a bUsheI, and they say
The Globe-republican., 1900-09-27
ISSUES DISCUSSED BY
MEN OF ALL PARTIES.
McCIeIIan's Tribute to the Sol
diers of Our Small Army.
Progress of the Campaign Commented
On by Persons of All Shades of
Political Thought - imperial
ism Nc Issue.

a missionary was sent to convert
Dewey to Democracy at Manila He
represented the most potential politicians
in the Democratic party-those who could
have given him the nomination if he
would have consented to few-line senti-
ments and glittering generalities- If
Dewey had consented at Manila to be a
Democratic candidate he would I'M
questionably have been the candidate
He would have been imperialist some
thing like: an imperiaIist wouldn't have
hurt the Democrats a bit The Demo
cratic party wouldn't have cared a rap
about Imperialism nor about silver at Is
to 1 at 33 to 1. They would have
gone in the heroicS. They would have
celebrated a conQueror as their candi-
date. and been glad and proud and stuck
up and happy to support man who had
shed blood, conquered territory and sur
rounded the world with his glories- That
IS what the Democracy wanted.-Murat
Halstead-
The Globe-republican., 1900-09-27
BRYAN on Pensions.

Mr.. Bryan's utterances about the sol
diers of the Civil War are worth repeat
ing. Mr.. Bryan, editor of the Omaha
World Herald, passed this Nov IS, 1892:
The next session of Congress will
have to wrestle with deficiency of
S36, OOO. coo This is account of pen
sions- The appropriation for next year
must be not less than $50, 900, OO0- 1t is
therefore easy arithmetic to perceive that
the appropriation that Congress must
make must aggregate not less than $780,
OOO. 600 This tremendous sum would
in itself be enough to run reasonable
government One would not complain
if it were honest debt, but large pro-
portion is not a debt because it was new
er earned by any act of patriotism or
heroic service. The government is held
up and despoiled of no mean portion OF
this and it seems helpless to defend it
self One cannot help being curious to
know how many more years it will take
to exhaust the generation which feels
itself injured by the war 1t is safe to
say that never did a generation display
such remarkable longevity
Isn't it about time that Mr. Bryan was
attacking the Spanish war pensioners?
The Globe-republican., 1900-09-27
CHAPTER III.-tContinued.)

"
side.
WINNIE he said. Il don't want you
to ever speak to a Harrington again
as long as you live You will probably
meet him at school this morning. but
I don't want you to ever speak to him
I want him to know that you uphold
me in the fight with his father. Do you
hear what say?' But before she an
swered the patter of horses feet and
the shouting of mems voices We're
heard.
'Hurrah for Mckinley. the next Pres
ident of the United States!'' rang out
upon the morning air.
whats that they're shouting2 I do
wonder if Mckinley is elected" said
Simon
1T may be so.'' said Cynthia, but
don't worry about it, Simon. 1 guess
if we work hard we can keep our souls
and bodies together, If he is elected
Just then their neighbor, Mr.. Blank,
appeared at the door to find out how
Simon was feeling, and to bring the
glad news that Winnie was elected
who's to be President?'' quickly In
Quired Simon.
Mckinley he said.
IT don't see how it could be possible .
said Simon. Providence has always
been on the side of right in the affairs
of this nation
$50 it has. Simon and it has not vt
forsaken u.s.
you'll repent a thousand times of the
way you cast your ballot before anoth-
err four years of hard times rolls
around said Simon, who knew Blank
was a Republican.
Just then Johnny came in crying
whats the matter?' said Jimmie.
'sThat Reynolds boy was just goin'
by, and he said Mckinley was elected,
and that it served my pa right to get
licked. 1 wish Id have licked him
ooo-hooI"
..Weu, why didn't you?"
Hes bigger than I am Johnny
whined.
"Oho!' said Jimmie. laughing That
don't make any diff. Old man Harring-
ton amt near so big as pa, but he licked
him just the same.''
s.Jimmie,'' said his father, "march
out of here, just as quick as ever you
can: do you hear?''
Cant we have any more pie and
cake to eat, ma, If McKin1ey's elected ?''
he added, as he proceeded to obey his
father. -
very economical
Jimmie watched her as she walked
away.
.s'Pon my word, pa, if Glen Har-
rington hain't come to meet her Here
he is now, and he's conGra tu1ating her
for defeatin' him LISTEN he said to
Johnnie Winnie is telling him that
she is sorry she had to defeat him in
order to be superintendent. BY golly
If they hain't locked arms, and walk
ing to school together, when pa .old
her not to even speak to him.