The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-04-15
MIR. D00LAN PREDICTS
TROUBLE FOR DEWEY

see me fri'nd Admir- Dewey is out FIR
Nlchiniey's Job" remarked Doolan, AN
us a wonderful surprise TO me. to hear
ne talkin' about runnin' on a platforrum
med " himsiIf, FIR it 'ud be rale amoosin'
10 Sc him runnin' on himsilf. wudden't
it?
suppose III tejusniss iv tonne pals
on IN adm'rl's ambition. as me fri'nd
Lannan I'D say. and afther tn ixcitin'
tonnes incydent to his naval ingagemints
at nome and abroad. he's wantin' some
aAcltemlnt but I think it's an Evidence
~ poor taste to be tryin' to git into poll
tics.
If me fri'nd George inters tn ra-ace
Just TT fun, it's aven money that he gifts
more'n a mouthful. f'r afther tn first
preliminary skir-rmish. he'll be pinin' FIR
IN peaceful pursoot iv war an wondherin'
why tn politicians wusn't Unlisted an sint
to subjoo III PhilrDeens.
It's did aisy guesein' that if he goes
INTO the race, be tn tonne it's run. his
characther'n be lukiIin' like congriss-
mans private doiry. an he'll be wishin
that he'd gone into polygamy or some
other business that wud have kipt him
too busy.to have meddled wild politics.
"Whin he gifts in tn political swim thin
the Daily Bile iv New York will come out
wild an article firm the Eloquent pen iv
Lleutenahnt Swipes iv tn Olympus corps
" understhrappers. tellin' how Admir-
Dewey stud wild his glass in his hand
watchin' tn fight iv Mainly Bay, an that
tn glass was filed wild br-randy that he
was gulpin' down to kape firm faintin'
with fright
An tn lieutenant'll sa-ay. IF it hadn't
been f'r mesiIf standin' at his back an
thrit'nen to blow him up wild bombshill
helt in me hand. he'd have sthruck his
colors tn first time tn Olympy got hit
in tn Stats. an but f'r me own patriotic
stand, we'd now be Twin undher TIL crool
domynation iv the Imp'ror iv Spain. Out
Nv rayspect FIR me country he'll say,
I've kipt me sacret. but won't do it
amy longer now that Dewey has deter
| mined TO put out tn eye iv me Uncle
Mac
''An' thin tn chief scuIlion iv tn Olym-
/ py'll be tellin' that tn hull plan iv tn
battle iv Manly was laid in tn cook s
quarters iv tn ship, an hearin' iv it,
Dewey med tn chief scullion tell him tn
plans, upon pain iv bein' t'rowed over
board; an afther awhile me frind Dewey
/ NoiA KNOW WnlJner ne was really AT IN
battle of Manilly or whether he's jist ray
coverin' firm TIL effects iv ffteen-dollar
dinner.
AN livery little pa-aper in Vermont
Will be tellin' about tn adm rls b'yhood
! days. an phwat a dirthy coward he al
ways was, anyhow.
'F0r wan man, I shud sa-ay me fri'nd
Dewey has got about enough glory; amt
half tn risin' gineration named afther
| him, an tn rist iv tn country usin' his
name ivry sicond time they ask a ques-
ton? It's plinty, 1 think, an he ought
not 10 persoome on the perogatives iv tn
hired man, as me frin Hammond 'ud
say. But anyhow, Georges case is in
! therestin'. FIR it marks tn passin' iv tn
deadly mother-in-law, an tn rise iv tn
| bould. bad, brother-in-law, as a promy-
mint facthor in tn sum total iv human
misery. .ss=-
III George on'y had two brothers-in-
law loike Misther Mclean iY Ohio. he
could subjoo tn Republicans without
amy other assistance. iv coorse, f'r
Johns a polytical wondher whin We let
him have his own way. But anyhow I
feel sorry f'r George and Doolan SUBJ
sided with heavy sigh.