Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1900-03-07

49, Perkins. at the
adjoining desk.
looked at him in
amazement. Never before, during his
two years Of professional conuguity to
widger. had he observed q similar dem
onstratiOn. He mentioned the fact at
once.
ut Is nothing" said Widgef: that is.
II is nothing serious. came near writ
ing a real poem instead Of Jingle. that
IL all"
81 call that rather serious" said Per
k.ns. Heavens! Billy. you must go
slow. You're on the verge Of some
thing. A chap Of your talent cannot be
too careful"
"SO:" said Widger laxily. You make
me weary. Perk. What do you know
about poetry and its relation to neu-
rotic exhaustion. Do you consider the
production Of real poetry an indication
of weakness at the nerve centers. Do
you-"
"No but see here. Billy: I've pre-
pared the Hints to Housekeepers' and
the Food and Health columns for this
paper regularly for three years now,
and"
"You have also prepared the Aunt
Jerusha's Talks with Girls" column"
interrupted Widger. You are a vile
humbug. Perk.
"No more so than you. Billy. Don't
wound my sensitive heart. kind friend,
I pray you. The Record is avowedly
the most popular paper in the Missis-
sippi Valley among the women. WhyS
IT'S I. Billy. me.
Who tells the women how to cook.
And make their homes successful;
WIS tells them how that pimply look
Is rendered less distressful.
Me. Billy. l-Oswood X. Perkins, the
poor orphan. who wouldn't know how
to act IL he had home. That's the
secret of my success, Billy; I'm orig
inal."
Because you do not know any bet
ter"
supposed to be funny. Your stun Is
we'll liked. Some people actually laugh
at it. Your verses Jingle pleasantly,
and your paragraphs are redolent of
ginger You hold your job. You eat.
But, Billy. dear, 'twould be very diff
ferent II you should blunder into poet
ry-real poetry, as you call II. You'd
lose your job. You'd cease to eat.
Your nerves, deprived Of the food they
crave, would become toneless. snap
less. Prostitution. agony, lingering
death, unwept. unhonored, unsung.
Don't do 1t. Billy"
Widger smiled.
"Perk." said he, you are a freak.
But you are wise-you must be or you
wouldn't be able to humbug the women
as you do. You are also a gentleman,
and / believe a good Judge Of"
whisky"
mo. poetry"
"Um-m-I don't know"
81 do. Read that. and tell me what
you think"
Perkins took the proffered sheet with
affected timidity, and looked at 1t from
the corners of his eyes. Then he hand
I'd It back.
IT'S pretty bad. Billy" said he hon.
estly. II don't think 1 ever read
worse.
Memory grim doth rend my heartstrings.
Cruelty with fingers pink.
Is but little short of positive disease.
Do you feel perfectly well. old man Z"
Yes, 1 am well enough, but 1 am de-
pressed in spirit. Do you suppose.
Perk"-glancing at the clock-"that II
gave you my confidence for about f1f-
teen minutes 1t would seriously inter
fere with the glorious work you are do
ing for benighted women? l think II
would make me feel better"
Nothing" replied Perkins firmly,
"can interfere with that Go ahead.
old man."
He sat back in his chair with an in
dex finger on either side Of his nose
his characteristic attitude when In re-
pose, as he once informed the Records
cartOonist when that brilliant but mis-
guided young man begged him for a
"sittlng"-while widger slowly gath
cred the sheets from his desk and tore
! them into strips.
You know where I came from.
Perky' he asked. dropping the strips
lntc the waste basket.
"St. Paul, Billy. You didn't know
ihe letter from a hole in the ground,
and you considered Minneapolis mere
" a short chapter In mythology"
"Yes," said Widger. AT st. Paul.
worked on the Evening Gazette and my
duties were as the sands Of the sea.
did everything. from heavy editorial to
the hotels, and between jumps fell in
love. II may not altogether be my
fault. Some men are born lovers. some
cultivate the tendency. and some have
II thrust upon them. 1t was thrust
upon me. And the maiden's name was
Smith"
"Smith-Smith," mumbled Perkins;
'in all the bright lexicon of youth there
IL no such word as-go on, Billy"
"She was a nice girl. as girls CO.
continued Widger, "well set head, non
pareil body. good clear face and the
daughter of her father. who owned the
Gazette She was accustomed to spend
ing an hour or two each day at the Of
ace. and l had not talked with her
many times before I experienced o
strange sensation. l did not know
what to call it. l suppose 1t was love.
but never said a word about it to her.
l reasoned that it would be too pre-
sumptuous-might lose me my situa-
ton.
II did not know then that I was quail
i1ed to do anything better in the news
paper line than to grind on the Gazette
1t ground pay. l made myself wretch
"a 1t times wishing she would keep