Fort Mill times. [volume] (Fort Mill, S.C.) 1892-current, 1900-08-22
ARP'S CONUNDRUMS'
Bill Answers Letters of the School
Girls.
THEN GIVES SOME PUZZLES
Says the Best Part of Parental Life Is
To Please The Little Ones-He
Likes Young People.

W. SNhpOl 81 10 NONH III ALABAMA
write to know why it is that geese
will not eat corn when il is Strown
around the circumference of circle.
They say that their presiding elder
couldent tell, and advised them to ask
me. | supposed it was Il conundrum.
| or that there was some catch in the
| question: catch like the one Why
will Il guinea pigs eyes fall c.ut if YOU
hold it up by the tail? As the guinea
pig has no tail. of course. his eyes are
in no danger. But u lady friend who
raises geese assures me that she has
| often seen them tempted with corn or
other grain strewn thickly round cir
Gle. and they will not venture near it
but if scattered, they will. after care
full inspection. approach and eat. What
the circle has to do with it is past my
ken, though We do know that geese
march in straight lines and the wild
geese fly in straight angles. a goose
is very suspicious fowl, and is al
ways on the lookout for danger.
goose is goose: but their devotion TO
each other when mated is beautiful.
How faithfully the gander viii stand
by his mate while she sits on her nest
She plucks the down from his breast
and covers her eggs. How gallantly
he escorts her 20 the grass and escorts
her back when she leaves them for
food. How tenderly they care for the
brood when il comes. and never leave
them until feathered and grown There
are no divorces nor grass widows in
the Anserian family-what a pity we
are not all geese.
But, speaking of conundrums re-
minds me of how a lady caught me
yesterday when sne asked me how the
water got into the watermelon, and as
proceeded to expound the chemical
processes that all fruits and vegetables
had to go through, she stopped me and
said: oh major, the water gets into
the watermelon because it is planted
in the spring" got even with her,
though, by asking her why was an ele-
phant like a ladys belt. When she
gave it up. | said, Because there is a
b in both" why" she said. there
is no b in elephant " There is h
in both said l. 'B-o-t-h'-you
can't spell both without b." Ii
takes a little time TO see that Ana
there is another cOnundrum that was
classic when / wa young
Charge, Chestn, charge-On, Stanley.
on,
Were the last words OF Marmion.
Had but been in Stanley's place
Tears would have moistened Chester's
face"
The smell of an onion would have
brought tear or two. | reckon. Now.
let those sweet school girls strain their
minds over that. and then let them
search the scriptures and tell me this.
There is reference made in the old and
new testaments to a person who died
rs no other person ever died; whose
body never saw corruption, whose
name is never spoken and the material
of whose shroud is found in every
household. There is no catch in that
1T is fact. ASK the presiding elder.
| am i'm Llging IN these thoughts to
please the children. for that is the big
gest and best part of parental iife. and
is what the world is working for.
Sometimes | cannot help ruminatins
upon what pleased me when + was
young and my mind was expanding in
to knowledge day By day. How / did
strain over the problem of the fox and
the goose and the bag of corn. Ana
there was the elephant puzzle, where
an OH man died leaving eighteen ele-
plants TO his three sonS-one to have
half of them another one-third OF
them and the other onc-ninth. But be
fore the division one elephant died.
and seventeen wouldent divide even at
al. So they consulted wise old nabor
who had hut one elephant. He gen
erously drove his one into the herd OF
seventeen and then divided them, Civ
Ing to one OF the boys nine to another
six and to the other two. This took
but seventeen, and so he drove his own
elephant back home again. How is
that? Wasent he a smart old fellow
to satisfy the boys and save his ele-
phant?
But by and by these school children
advance into their teens and begin to
choose sweethearts, and the boys
brush their hair more carefully and
tAe girls cast glances that are shy and
SLY and read poetry and mark the lov
ing passages. and flowers grow lovelier
and the birds sing sweeter and the
world grows brighter. and the days OF
loves young dream have come. De
ligbtful days. delicious memories
even an old man loves to revel in
tNem. No wonder the poets wrote so
tCnderly OF love and the novelists
made II the chief subject OF their
story. ! was ruminating the other day
about compiling and publishing book
"a little book that could be sold for
less than a dollar. book of gems
poetic gems by the best authors. and
urging every parent to buy it for the |
children, for il would help TO mold and
refine their characters and give them
pleasure and comfort all their lives. ]
Ny good father encouraged ne TO com