Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1900-06-22
The Arch Ours ST Brunswick.


recovered from the solar plexus blows
the COURIER administered three
weeks ago, and after pounding their
own pates for nearly three weeks they
conceived, and last week brought
forth another idea-"the squaw editor
of the CoUBIER.
In fact, the editor of the COURIER
seems to be on their brain. They
dream of US by night and talk and
write of us by day.
They say that we have many sore
spots. That may or may not be true,
but If we have ''sores" they are our
own .'sores," and are none of their
business.
Lazarus of old would not have per-
mitted such dirty dogs as Fenste-
maker and his boss to lick his sores,
and we are not willing that they should
caress ours, if we have any.
These arch ours Of Brunswick
would, no doubt, be glad to see us
''run out of town or consigned to a
harem," but they would object most
frantically to our going to HI, lest
we might be appointed chief fireman
and keep them at white heat
in hades as well as on earth.
There are crimes ard crimes.
A just complaint about how post
office is run is not crime, but selling
"post- office influence" to the highest
and worst bidder is a crime for which
the offender ought to be sent to the
penitentiary. Running him out Of
town or consigning him to a harem"
would not be commensurate punish
ment for the criminal who courts and
accepts bribes.
An EDITORS desire to go to state
convention is not crime, but pollt-
ical bossism is detestable to every de-
cent partisan.
Medding may be out of taste and
a crime, sometimes, but when it is
done for the public veal it is to be
commended. We have always made
it a point to "meddle" with Old
Granny Fenstemaker and his boss
whenever they have meddled with and
lied on the county officials, or have
undertaken to tighten their Shiny
coils around US, and have invariably
gotten out our "meddling" club and
have used it to kill snakes. We be-
lieve when a man kills snakes he ought
to kill snakes.
We are given the chilling inform :
ton by the Republican that 1--WE hive
no friends nor do we deserve any"
How could we have any friends when
Old Fenstemaker and his boss have
formed a trust and have cornered all
of 1.-The friendship" on the market?
Echo answers, How?
Perhaps if the mortgage were fore
closed on Old "Fenste's" office, and
he could save as much as $I.5o out
of the wreck he might be able to buy
the COURIER (subject to incum-
brances) and come to Keytesville to
grow out from under the baneful in
fluences of an unscrupulous boss.
Really, Fenste, how much are you
paid week for running (O the Re-
publican! Is your boss all that
stands between you and starvation!
Your prayer that he may have more
power and that long may he live,
would indicate that you are as COM
pletely under his spell as the poor
moth that futters around the candle
until it scorches itself to death.
1t is widely and we'll known that all
truth, all purity, all virtue, all integrity
and all uprightness of character are
centered in Fenstemaker and his boss
They are utterly without sin, and for
that reason are the only individuals
on Gods green footstool who have a
right to throw rocks.
Read the last paragraph carefully,
paste it on your stomach, and you
will never find it necessary to take
an emetic.
| OF course we lied when we said we