El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1900-12-27
THE Dying CENTURY.

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THE DYING CENTURY.
According to exchanges there has
been issued an order for the speclal
benefit of the engineers on the Santa
Fe railroad 1t calls attention to the
unnecessary noises being made by the
engines and cautions the engineers not
to allow the steam to blow OFF at the
non valves. Also that the cylinder
cocks must be shut off and that no I'M
necessary whistling be done.
Who issued the order the exchanges
do not say. but it was probably Is
sued by some one who felt that the en-
gineers should refrain from any I'M
necessary noise in order TO snow re-
spect to the dying century IL Is rlsh'
we should all thus pay our last re-
spects to the Nineteenth Century IN ms
last days The old man is about to
mass in his checks and as we stand or
mass by his death bed we should all
tread lightly speak low and not DioW
off any unnecessary steam Inc oid
fellows days are numbered and he mas
but a precious few in which TO remain
with us. Even now he fumbles with
the corner of his sheet and the death
rattle is heard in his throat
We should all bow our heads IN
sorrow at our parting with the old
man. for in life he has been good TO
MS He has been corker and the
hest century that ever lived Other
centuries have plugged along through
life. making no footprints on tne
sands of time, to speak OF, but the oIu
man with whom We are soon 10 par
has been a hummer. In MS youth ne
NAV have been giddy and ind1screet,
but we should remember that ne hau
IN
seize him by the slack of his trousers
and null him away from the primrose
nath- of sin. and he enjoyed but rev
of the comforts and convenlences OF
life
His food was cooked in a Dutch
oven and he had to light his pipe with
a flint. He wrote his love letters with
a goose quill and fastened his galluses
with a thorn. Little did he think tnat
before he passed up the fiume he would
be wearing papier mache teeth ana
voting the Australian ballot
When he was ushered into the world
a hundred years ago next Tuesday.
the housewife made her own I've and
kept the flies off the green's with
peach sprout. There were no ny
screens. no cook stoves. no carpet
sweepers. no yeast cakes. no baking
powder. no shoe buttoners, no Cnau-
tauquas, no spring mattresses, no I'M
ion suits, no cucumber spoons, no
sewing machines. no toilet soap no
Clou,dcroft. no clothes wringers- no
automobiles, no Midwinter Carnival.
no clothes pins. Just think OF 1t! Our
great. great grandmothers, hundred
wears ago. never enjoyed the luxury
of hanging out clothes on wash day
with a two-by-four sycamore clothes
pin between their lips,
A hundred years ago there were no
telegraphs. no railroads to blow on
steam and disturb his slumbers. no
steam pipes, no telephones. no type
writers. no barbed wire fences, no de-
horned cattle no paramount issue. no
BilIy BRYAN. During this century the
shirt waist has been discovered. the
vermiform appendix has been hunted
to its lair. the microbe has been bred
I'D to its present proud condition and
is now standard and registered. thresh-
ing machines have come into use and
the throw-board has been invented.
Perhaps some CT the citizens who have
grown up in the west Texas desert do
not know what a throw-board is. but
they
Who did ever take a down row
On a cold December morn.
When the frost was on the pumpkin
And the slobber on the corn.
know how to appreciate what a won
derful invention the throw-board is.
It has abolished the down row in corn
gathering time and thus revolution
lied the morals of the farmer boy
1t is solemn thing to stand by the
death bed of a century Some of us
never stood by one before and there
are some perhaps that will never have
the opportunity to see another century
croak
Let us then be up and doing
With a heart for any fate,
Still achieving, still pursuing.
Till it's time to pull our freight.
Dr. passenger train, either, just SO we
DO not blow off any unnecessary steam
while the Nineteenth Century FUN
bleS with the corner of his sheet ind
the death rattle is in his throat
The Nineteenth Century has Hoped
down through the shining corridors
Of the home stretch impelled by steam
md charged with electricity, and he is
now tired and his old bones ache. He
has been the greatest century that
ever came down the pike. He has
brought to the world the ripened fruit
age of all time and clothed the sons of
men with the eliminating glory of all
ages and all epochs.
The month of December now waning
Is his last 1t has been hard
one for him to spend his dying days
in There base been no Sunday school
Dic-nics to cheer him up. no ice cream
suppers, no violets. no clover blossoms,
no nesting robin. no summer COM
plant, no summer girls, no mosuui-
Toes TO sing for him. no housefiies to
keep him company in his last days,
no bed bugs to cheer up his spirits in
The long night hours. Congress has
0.0.@'@. % o. 90 o, % M q