The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-02-25
MACMANUS VISITS NIAGARA,
HIS EXPERIENCES WITH THE CAR
RIAGEs on BOTH SIDES OF
THE RIVER.


Park in Canada-Registering in
Gaelic and Being Taken for Fee
nIan-The Descent Under the Cat
aract and the FIattery of the
Guide.
Copyright 1860. by seumas MacManus.
'ssee Niagara and die" my friend Fitz
contentedly sighed, as he Topped down be-
side me in the trolley car which We had
held up on Main street Buffalo. Then,
the sooner you see it, the better for man
kind" I remarked-in my innaFds. F1tz
is sensitive and boxer / know there
are many pious Americans VINO, somewhat
different from F'itz, say, Lead a molly life
die. and go to Niagara" Such a creed
land I have found it a widely prevalent
one) speaks trumpet-tonged for the Won
derful charms of Niagara, for the profess
sors of this faith know Niagara intimately
and well, through the medium of guide
books.
As we bowled along over the open snow
clad country l related TO Fitz the story
OF one of these Niagara enthusiasts whom
had known. After looking forward for
five years to journey to his Mecca, prov
tdence and a successful gambling transac-
ton put a spare $50 bill in his pocket. He
went off to Niagara with the precipitancy
of Brooklyn banker. -Four days later
he was at home again. his pockets filled
with interesting mementoes. and his purse
empty as a politicians argument.
1 heard him on The evening after his
return, preaching Niagaras unspeakable
delights at a crowd of friends. Under
the dome OF. heaven" Chose were his
Words there was not there could not
be, another place as enchanting, as intoXi-
eating as Elysian as Niagara. Next night
l got him by himself, and l held him
with my eye, whilst l said: Murphy, on
your honor as a dry goods clerk, did
you enjoy Niagara odd man." said
he, looking back over both his shoulders
at the same time, and sinking his voice,
don't give me away. for the Lords sake,
but I've had a toothaehe in my liver ever
since l saw it, Murphy Furthermore add
ed that he had 10 act and talk bare
faced lie the night before because he
couldn't afford to have half a score of
IDIOTS laugh at him; and because, also,
every one of aforesaid idiots was bent
on going to Niagara some day or other;
and why should he spoil fun?
80. friend Fitz." ! moralized, blessed
are they that expect nothing, for they
still have their anticipations." Thus did
l pass the time for Filz, that when he
limped off the car at Niagara he was as
buoyant as a leaked football; and he
would have fallen an easy prey to the
Jehus that here descended upon him, had
he had no one to watch over him
The alleged carriages that these fellows
coeTce weak-willed people into are one
of the wonders of Niagara. I know for
co. tl,o.
and lived but I Indignantly refuse to be-
lieve-what friends have tried to assure
me-that upright men having been Sc
duced into riding in these atrocities, went
back into the bosom of their families,
within less than quarantine time. No self
respecting man ever did. 1t is told that
an aeronaut. who had been carried up into
far space, whence the states looked each
50 small that he could not distinguish one
from another at length to his joy, loca ted
himself-"We're just passing from New
York into Canada" How do you know
that?" asked his friend in misfortune He
shifted, and said Don't you feel the
Niagara earriages?" Personally l am of
the opinion that this may possibly be a
story concocted by some one who had
spent his purse coming to see Niagara.
But know for certain "a friend, on whose
word l can rely, told mel that in the
summer of q think '96, there We're ten
iiOl udyS WD%TeOn Ine carriage SDeH so
loud that the falls could not be heard
by one standing in close proximity to
them. Such crowds rushed to Niagara,
then, that l am told the carriage owners
have since worked the dodge for all it is
worth. But it has now ceased to be
phenomenon.
Holding my nostrils, explained to the
clamorng drivers that as my friend was
only going to commit suicide. he would
not need a carriage until after the event
and it would give him exceeding pleasure
to engage his services then. They looked
at Fitz pitifully, and backed away.
How did the falls strike you? is the
question that rises naturally to every
ones lips. I supposed I would be sneered
at as a very unoriginal jokist if i ven
| tured to naturally reply, to wit that the
| fact of my being here to tell ii is evil
| dence sufficient that they did not strike
me at all There are SO many only or
/ igjnal" jokists nowadays that a mans
! surest chance of distinction Is to be I'M
| original. Apropos of everything l may
| here mention. that in Buffalo | was en-
| tertained with the account of the man who
| lived all his life there, within sound of
| Niagara, and died recently at the reverend
! age of four-score years and ten, without
! having once gone to see the falls. AT IL
years of age he felt small amongst his
| contemptuous fellows; but at 50 the same
| fellows began to say with an admiring
smile. "Why here's Jonathan b. Brown
and fancy he's never yet seen the fallsn
| Al 30 years of age the man who had never
| seen the falls was grown vain and pointed
| out on the streets for the marvel of stran-
gers; at 70 strangers were brought to see
| him; al 50 a syndicate got hold of him.
| much to the chagrin of Niagara, which
| deprecated such a serious counter-attrac-
ton but after a time it was found that
| both attractions were of mutual aid to
each other. No visitor to the falls could
think of returning home without having
seen the man who never saw the falls;
| and no visitor to iona than B. could think
| of returning home without going also to
see the sight he never saw. So every
visitor henceforward, took i'm both attrac-
tons or, rather, thought they took them
| in. Anyhow, after a year or soft my
memory serves me right, il was in May
| '9l-the Niagara Falls Company and the
Jonathan b. Brown Company, Limited.
amalgama ted, and an efficient and SER
etffa tfs.a.