davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25
DEADLOCK IN CHINA.
a. IIEN THE RECENT POLITICAL BATTLE was well
~ under way advised from Washington that Sec

a. gHEN THE RECENT POLITICAL BATTLE was well
NW under way advised from Washington that Sec
rotary Hay in particular and the administration in gen
eaI had amazing diplomatic victory the China
and had settled the whole affair with such prestige
egn office had known since the days OF Solomon Now that
there need for such ustan all the European cabinets
Mr. Hay of muddng things by his with the
that China has gained courage practically DEFY all the powers
and ask them what they are going to do about it.
dowager empress and the emperor have beaken them
selves ancient capital OF the empire which inaccessible
the invaders still telegraph line the exes can
do mischief posted All the powers combined dare
undertake to establish government without the empress
r to give central figure for organization Suspicious of
another and trusting the ambassadors have been max
inc demands for indemnity and punishment of the guilty which
are preposerou because they cannot be enforced The
OF the powers got the point where neither retreat
with honor or proceed with dignity
In this emergency Mr. Hay advises his European confere
to be eaient and conciatoy Imagine Emperor Williams feel
ng when ne reads such advice after his boodhy pronunca
co TO adersee to spare and punish all the guilty If
NEGOTIATIONS struck deadlock they have Pekn; and Mr.
Hay seems to have done most OF the locking.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25
THE SCHOOL ELECTION.

60 FAR As APPEARS the record there IS no reason
why any question OF party should be raised
ing school election; and there IS certainly
even suggesting support opposition candidates religious
grounds The schools have kept any religious
rovery and no would have the question opened any
form.
All OF The members serving have done we'll and none
better than the members whose expire purely
noparsa organization the school board should always be-
It IS imperative that faithful should recognized
the good OF the schools and in order continuous
agent by men familiar with the very large business
centered in the board.
1t IS right and desirable that the people should
tive interest IN the choice OF trustees and this end the voting
facilities provided should be commensurate
votes to be cast The board recognize this their arrange
e Tor the election but the injection Of issues that have moth
ing 70 do with the merits of candidates their duty the
schools should be suppressed distinct injury
muny and to the educational system OF the CITY, which
matter OF pride for all who know its efficiency.
Whether man is Mormon, Gentle, Jew Pagan has
nre to do with his qualifications for the school board than
the color OF his hair the size of the shoe he
honest capable attentive his duty and familiar with the
required ne good candidate II he has already served
term with credit he IS entitled reelection untitled for
the place he has claim That is all there
school question.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25

many female doctors. female lawyers,
female Journalists, female orators.
female preachers and females in classes
and professions and trades. but what
We want ) a good many more female
women
The woman l love is the female wo-
man that l would protect and cherish
in return for all the sweet attentions
she would pay me, and which would
enable me to chserfuIIy fight the battle
OF life How TO describe her ] hardly
know
Should she be beauufuI2 Not neces-
Sariiy. Pretty? Yes, rather. Good fig
ure2 Decidedly. Clever? Hm-yes.
Cheerfuls By all means PunctuaI?
Like a military man. Serious? Not
too much. Frivolous? Yes. just a lit
Tie. OF scientific turn Of mind?
B-r-r--T. no; 1 should shudder at the
idea Of It. OF an artistic nature, then,
with literary tastes? Yes. certainly.
But, above all, a keen, sensible little
ofpiomatist who would make 1t the
business of her life to study me- as I
would make 1t the business of my life
10 study her: a woman who could be,
IN turo, according to circumstances, a
housewife, a counselor, q pal. wife. a
sweetheart, nurse, a patient, the sun
shine of my life, and always a conf
dante, friend and a partner.
In little Normandy town I have a
dear lady friend, Parisienne to the
core, whom ] have known and loved
from childhood She is not far from
60, but, upon my word. I think she is
still very beautiful She was in sue
cession loving, devoted daughter. an
excellent wife and an adorable mother
She has now lost all she loved in the
world, and she devotes her time cult
waiting a lovely garden of flowers and
attending all the church services of the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25

For practical purposes there are two
parts of speech-the interjectOn and
the first personal pronoun. To these
may be added in extremity the note of
interrogation.
The metaphor. smile or aIlegory con
sists in stating what might have been
said otherwise a little differently.
THE joke. jest or quip is emitted
when you are no longer hungry.
ITO perform one of these, indicate
facidily that you are about to become
humorous and then say something that
is not strictly true about some one
smaller than yourself.
'CFhe point is a term once applied to
a portion Of the joke jest or quip. 1t
is now obsolete in good society,"
THE repartee is the reply to the joke.
Jest or quip- 1t is most conveniently
administered by restating the same in
modified form.
when addressed by your own name,
reply Here When addressed by some
one else's. a moments reflection would
convince you that there was some mis-
take. AS reflection, however, is I'M
fashionable, it is better to reply Here
in this case also.
Thus begun, your talk is likely to
be Of at least average interest.
IF, in the course of your cOnveTsa-
ton, the rest Of The company should
happen to quit the room. silence may
be practiced. This is best learned by
endeavcring to think before you speak.
The more involved branches of the
art Of veTsatiOn-teliing the truth,
holding the tongue, pulling the leg. and
sailing close TO the WiHd-are beyond
the scope of an elementary treatise.
'On a hint from your hostess the de-
parture from a house party occurs.
This begins be rewarding the ser
wants who have soaped your sponge,
BACKED your brown boots, or otherwise
ministered to your comfort and enjoy
ment; settling with your host for your
washing bill, and informing the duke,
marquis or archbishop who stands next
on your list that he may now expect
you.
We have heard the amount of the
reward or tip occa siOnaIly discussed.
The rule, however, is sinple-1d day
for the butler and upper fOotman, I'd
a week during d visit of six months
or over for the other man-Servants,
and d shilling left under the mat for
the cook.
The Iadys maid, if pretty. may be
rewarded for her services on a sepa-
rate scale.
You next fold your evening trousers,
roll up the bedroom clock in the soiled
towels, and place these in the bottom
of your trunk or bandbox. The rest of
your packing may be intrusted to your
valet Cor valets).
If still on terms of sufficient famiI-
farity you should then say good-by to
your hostess.
To your fellow guests you may ac-
count for the suddenness of your de-
parture by explaining that the tele-
gram from his 'royaI highnesS was per-
emptory, or that your supply of hand
kerchiefs is now exhausted.
Should they happen to evince regret
at your leaving them, you should ex-
press your intention of giving them the
pleasure of your society at their own
mansions or villas at an early and, if
possible, a specific date
The fact of your remarking THANK
heaveu," or at LAST" when you leave
the door may be taken to signify the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25

George in Chicago Times Herald.)
E6H TELL you what" paw sed after
he got his slippers on Mite Be
fore last. this is a CRATE Aige
1t makes me proud when / think l am
living IN it. This is the aige of biz
ness What sho do you s'pose ElIick
lander or Seezer would stand if they
We're here now? Ellick got faimus be-
coz he side for nuther world to Con-
ker. That shows how far they were
Behind the times then. If Ellick would
of had the bizness instinct OF Today
he would of husseld ahed and got the
erth when he had a chance without
longing for two worlds in the Bush.
What would they be in it for Ellick or
Seezer if they would buck against Gro
ker i'll the convention. with his mind
made up for sumbuddy else?
'Bizness is the thing that counts
now. If William the Conkerer would
of had the bizness ability of Joe Cham
berlun what a messy thing it would IF
Been for him"
How NAV asst.
BY selling spears and battle Axes
to both sides, paw sed, and then
keeping the war going till he got the
capassity of the facktry dubbed and
they had to put on mite force. An
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25
Pa on Business.


luther mistake they made in Olden
times was not having a Good advertis-
ing manager when they went on the
Crewsades, Think of all the Good one
mite stands they could of made going
and cumming, with the standing Room
only sine out every time Richard the
Lion Hearted was on the Bills. The
saddest words man ever rOte was to
Have a Good Thing and never Knowt
And what a fine Lot of chances our an
sesters let go to waste in this Country,
too"
In what way?" NAV told him.
BY not making use of the candi-
dates who Didn't get elected PTesa-
dunt paw sed. Look at big A little
a run Burr. Sposing sumbuddy that
was running gun shop Somewhere
would of offered him a Job in the place
at twenty ThouSen doIlers a year and
got the papers to notus it, In less than
q week he would of Been making Guns
for the whole Sivveiized world.
And then There was Henry clay.
He was anuther defeated candidate
they Let go to waste becoz they didn't
no How to take advantage of a Good
thing If some Chicago alderman that
had Half interest in a poker Joint
would of offered Henry about forty
1 housand year TO be a capper for
the place think what boom he mite
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25

parish. y beg2r never passes her with
out receiving little contribution, and
she helps many d poor family. In e
word, the gay life Of Paris is all for
gotten. and you would imagine chat my
recluse friend was a hermit; d sort If
lay nun, as it were.
Well, yes, she is all that, but isn't
she woman, still. thought do you
See she was saying to me one day, I
have renounced all my worldly ideas.
My flowers, my books. my poor friends.
that's the only thought of my life now
l am old; l don't care how 1 dress gr
how 1 look. Anything does for me
now. The Parisienne that you used to
know. my dear friend, is dead and bur-
led
What a charming gOwR you have
on l remarked. Il do admire the ma
teTial and the color, and the cut, too.
And how beautifully made and finish
ed. Did you have that made in this
town."
The expression 70 her face was
study.
My dear friend" ahe exclaimed.
you do not imagine I would get a
dress made in this stupid little hole of
a town. They make bags here. not
gowns" And she almost Looked indfg-
nant, the dear, at the idea that [ could
suppose she had not her dresses made
in Paris. I smiled, and said nothing,
Those little contradictions in d good
and delightful woman make her low
able. So I think. at any rate.
The woman 1 love is the woman who
possesses all the wOmanIy virtues and
qualities, sweetness, devotion, relia bill
ity. The little failings I forgive in her
are those of her sex, frivolty and the
divine right of changing her mind. If
in any way woman apes man, she is in
tOlerable and hateful.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25

unqualified success of your visit. You
came to enjoy yourself at his expense
and you have done it.
After departure. it is your duty (and
should be your pieasure) to write to
your hostess, informing her of your
safe arrival at the next ducai mansion
or archiepiSCopal palace, inclOsing the
fOOtbath, photograph frames. or other
articles inadvertently packed by your
valet Tor valets), and expressing your
regret for the circumstances that led
to the termination of so pleasant d
visit.
This letter should be brief worded
carefully so as to remove all appre-
tensions of your immediate return, and
may be consigned to the post in the
ordinary way tfee up to four ounces.
one penny.
For the Shoot (feu de joie) there
are necessary the quarry, the gun, and
the variegated hose The first some
times provided by your host, the others
you had better bring yourself.
Previous to firing off your fOwling-
piece moroccan de pOuieD insert as
many cartridges as there happens to
be barrels into the end furthest from
your destined prey.
"On sighting the object de chasse,
draw the trigger smartly towards you.
On again opening your eyes you will
thus find that your skill and ardor
nave SUAlGAllieS DECti rewarded DX the
decrease of the desired animal Cbete
noire).
After winging, Logging. or otherwise
diSa bling your quarry, the coup de
grace is administered. This is entire
~ an up-and-dOwn stroke, and can be
inflicted without unIacing the boot.
See that your attendants place the
spoil Gf of an edible nature, and not
entirely dismembered by your attack
in the bags which your host win pro
vide for the purpose Any possible
reSuscitation and escape should be
guarded against by covering the ami
NAL with your musket until life is
quite extinct.
Never point your gun at your fell
ioW-sP0rtsmen (even in JEST without
previously consulting the wishes of
your host, and, if he desires it, with
drawing the cartridges.
In drawing your gun after you
through hedge, pond, or other haz-
ard, see that the muzzle is directed
slightly to one side of you.
"(Fhis rule may seem a refinement
of precaution, yet a the natural ter
mination of your visit you will have no
cause to regret the little extra trouble
it has involved)"
Table of Precedence.
Heirs apparent and their consorts.
2-Heirs less apparent with their
m0rganatiCS.
2-QueenS in their own right.
4-Nabobs and their sultanas.
5-Prime ministers, music hall stars,
and similar dignitarieS, with their Ia
dies.
Six figure incomes.
7-POpes and black ambassadors
with a selection of their wives.
S-POets laureate (these are invited
unaccOmpanied.)
9-White ambassadors and eloquent
dissent with whatever they bring
10-Purifying influences Eve imagine
these to be celibate).
11-Gentlemen with evening dress.
12-Gentlemen without.
Enquiries are never made concern
ing the menage of the two last cIasSes.)
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25

Of worked up for the Bizness. But
they let their chances go by, and Won
dered why fate was creweH
Think of HoTrus Greedy, too
I don't see how they could of used
of him. NAV sed.
That's becoz the bizness instinckt
is not a part of your hatcher" paw
ansered. 'Sumbuddy that was run
ming Seed store Could of made an in
dependent FOrchune by offering Hor-
rus Large saIerry to Go on the road
and sell seeds. They mite of broke the
record for the tuTnip seed trade That
year If they would of had the Foresite
TO see what they missed.
'Anuther chance they missed was
when Belva Lockwood didn't get elect
ed. If she would of Been running in
Bryan's place this time s'pose some
body would be offering her four Thou
sand month To be a aOddIe in a
Cloak facktery or sumthing of That
kind and getting her refewsaf in all
The papers with Big he'd lines over it."
Il wonder what we are Coming to-"
NAV sed after she that about it a
while
Wen. I'll tell YOU paw told her.
We are coming to the Time when
Bryan1l get mad and accept Sumbud-
dy's offer and then they VIII be a sud
den deth from hart Disease"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25
WAR TAX MODIFICATION.

z HIS MOVE TO ABOLISH the stamp tax on checks and
documents IS all right and it is we'll that committee
III charge has broken 1t gently the business world
ese 1t might have paalyzed the who have COM
PEELED to invest their profits in beautiful hograps bearing the
government imprint The njusces of the so
obvious that the rankest partisan unable to find anv
excuse for the burdens of the law and recognition of the
fact that the leaders congress planned to remove the
most Objectionable features
There yet remain points of criticism but long as the cost
OF army to he the Pacific islands, would be hyper
critical to blame the tax while its would
be useless to expect any economy in govern
ment expenditure so long as the offers for
avagance but this IS step the right direction affords
pleasing example of the relief that could be given people
the majority in properly Impressed with idea
that rducOn in government expenses the limit OF govern
men honest needs would be good political strategy we'll as
good business practice
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25

e<D EPORTMENT for Dukes" is
the title of a very curious work
that comes from London. The
joint authors say they have been IA
pressed with that fact that most bcb6s
on etiquette are written for the com
mon herd, and that there is a distinct
lack of anything of this character de-
signed particularly for dukes and the
highest circles of society. Yet they
must be in need of instruction almost
as much as humber persons, as is
shown by the fact that the nobleman
who had charge of Queen Victoria s
crown at her coronation forgot the
right moment at which to hand it up.
The want of literature, say the
authors, appealing only to those NOV
ing in the highest social circles, and
practically incOmprehensibIe to such as
have not enjoyed the same advantages
of birth, fortune and cellars, has long
been regretted by the families of the
aristocracy, their chaplains and ser
wants.
ITO supply it the authors respectfully
beg TO offer this treatise. It's ethics are
adapted alike to the throne room, the
boudOir and the buffers pantry; its
style has been carefully moulded on the
TIE following hints are furnished to
those who accept "a dine and sleep
invitation from the queen at Windsor
castle:
Write both the v and the r. in cap
ital letters, with a full stop after each.
Avoid anything even distantIy ap-
preaching to a risque allusiOn or a ref
erence to contemporary sovereign,
BE careful to convey the impression
that you have had some difficulty in
extricating yourself from a previous
enga cement.
Avoid whenever pOssible) answer
ing on a post card.
Inquire particularly whether you are
expected TO dress.
Disregard all unStamDed and I'M
signed invitations to a country house.
Give the preference to Il week at
MaTgate with royal duke, before two
months Devastating with a colonial
bishop.
should, however, your prospective
host have. in addition to mis- eccIesias-
teal dignities, a humane Society's GER
tificate, or an only daughter, defer your
visit to his royal Eighness till a more
date, expressing al the same
time your regret at the necessary de-
of his holiday plans
invitations written on pink paper.
all gross misspellings of the invitee's
Christian name, etc, may be answered
in the negative by post card.
The art Of conversation de SoCiete
consists in following the obvious to no
conclusion.
For particular ConYersat lions, in any
circle of society, the most entertaining
are yourself and herself Pune
tuate by frequent pauses, and illustrate
rather by example than precept
"A general conversation in the high
est social strata may touch on politics,
cartridges and Improperly. In less ex-
allied. but still refined circles, on ser
wants. sanitation and seaside acconlmo-
datiOns. The bourgeois may discuss
clergymen and internal complaints, and
nose in humble stations tripe and trea-
son.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25

conscience stricken. rose between the
craft and turned the nose of the Cavdor
Just enough to prevent the crash that
seemed unavoidable. She Just missed the
Golden Shore. So close were the vessels
that one could have jumped from the
CaWoor to the Golden Shore. Captain
Ru-ci- SAYS:
when the vessels slipped by one anoth-
er cheer went up from a hundred voices
The Golden Shore drifted on, but in the
distance 1T was seen that she had turned
completely around. She is bound for
Puget Sound and is expected to arrive
there shortly, after which she will come
to this port. 1t is not known to what ex-
tent she suffered in the storm. The cav
dor was uninjuTed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25
SALT LAKES FUTURE.

ALT LAKE SEEMS to be right in the line of the most
- important railroad development planned in this
country for the coming year. The line
TO the IS OF itself an omen of great
future for the city, however uncertain immediate benefits
may be- The Burlington system IS as to be within
striking distance and its completion Salt Lake will mark an
epoch scarcely second significance construction of the
h overland road 1t of the great systems of the country
It's management IS liberal and progressive it develops its
territory commercially and viii open almost unknown re-
SloE to the trade of Salt Lake It will bring the attention Of
the east the mineral and stockrasng interests of this region As
nothing else could and will make this central railroad point
OF extending almost thousand miles in every direction
Salt Lake the coming great city of all the between
Denver and the Pacific and would be to organize and
let the rest of the country know it.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25

folly OF sailing in such a sea and every
YARD OF canvas was stripped from the
E.ssts- There was nothing to do but
drift and this the ship did FOR some time.
SoOn the bare masts of the schooner Cold
en- shore hove IN sight she also drifting
ra1idly in the storm
As the ships neared one another their
posiuonS became perilous The terrified
crews were unable to control them and
looked Tor nothing but the sinking of one
or both of the vessels. The Cavvdor bore
Straight down toward the big schooner
Win force that meant destruction.
But a lew seconds more and the vessels
would nave crashed together had not
something that filled the sailors with
wonder occurred. A great wave, as If
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-25
WAVE SAVES TWO VESSELS.

IodU FIdUCISCO IaU.J
Captin Burch of the British ship Cavs-
dor, which recently arrived at San Franz
cisco from Newcastle. \. S. w, tells of a
narrow eseaSe his vessel had from col
lIding near the Australian coast with the
schooner Golden Shore. 4 hurricane was
raging when the ships nearly came to-
Sether, and a big wave which came along
at the OppOrtune moment averted a dis
aSter. The Golden Shore is owned in San
Francisco and was lumber laden.
The CawdOr was in ballast and q gale
arose IN a few hours its fury became
terrible. Captain Burch f5oon realized the