Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-03


the horse when the plaintiff was not
present.,
The objection was Observation-Disclosures
te.' Express.
"Br'cr Johnson" said the elder of ono
OF the colored churches to the recently
appointed pastor. -. what does 20 t,ink of
sence YOU asks me, l mus say dey is or
scrubby- lookin' set" why. what does
yo mean, Bre, johnson? Dey has mo-
campmeetin's and get ligion oftener dan
mos envy congregashun in dc town.
Oats jes' it. Br'er Jones, dats ies' it.
Dcy has done wore out de seats Of dcy
pants hacksidin' and de knees er prayin'
fer &c gibness. Life.
With a bright smile the beautiful Es-
kinlo girl lett us to join the merry throng
in the ballroom.
Your daughter is n gay buttertly."'
exclaimed, desiring to be very comp'i-
mtntary.
For my part, don't think much Of
this social life"' replied the mother. with
sudden vehemcnce. The idea of dancing
every night till away along in March,
and then lying in bed next day until Au
gust ]. or such matter.
It was on my tongue TO say that these
young people had too much latitude. but
! checked 'myself.-Detroit Journal
Retort Courteous.-Mrs Ecx,Iore-"I
Eotics you've got new paper i'll your
., Mrs. ;Pepprey-''Ycs. How do you like
Mrs. Nexdore-''It seems to me it's
rather loud
Mrs. Pepprey-.'Ye that's why we Sc
lected it. We thought it might drown
the sound Of your daughters piano play
Ing. philadelphia Press.
God made de >worl fer man: hut h.
never will be satisfied 'twell ne Owls ten
on de moon.
De good Book say Satan is roarn'
lion: but he all time put me III min er :,
fox dat lay low, kaze if he done much
roarin' he'd put folks on notice he WIZ
comm. EN- dey would git outen his way.
/ dunno DIES how high up heaven is: but
| does know dat some folks won't tip:oe
ter reach ii.
'Lijah gone ter heaven in a cherlyoc.
er fire; but people wouldn't try de exper
ment in desc days fer fear dey'd git
Scorched.
l dunno w'ether Satan got horns or not
He may be Il billygoat. OF. he may be Il
Texas steer. All l know is. he's Satan:
en- dat's enough fer me!-Atlanta Corsti-
tuition.
George w. Perkins tells this about
Senator \. J. Beveridgc. the brilliant
young 1ndianian. to the Saturday Even
ing Post: "One Aight at a reception
which the senator and | attended. soon
after his election. the hostess said in
mock surprise: Are you Senator Bev-
eridge-the senator from Indiana?' The
senator bowed modestly. 1t hardly seems
possible. Why. YOU are a mere beard
a
eridge, without a smile, L shave"
Gov. Roosevelt is getting very tired Of
being introduced as the greatest soldier
Of the Spanish war" THE gallant lead
er of that immortal charge up the death
covered slopes of San Juan" ''the peer
less citizen-soldier. "the gallant leader
to hear it again and again from gentle
men honored with the privilege Of intro
ducing him. While he was being so in
troduced the other day he turned to
companion and said in his forcible way:
DO you know what feel like when
ish war; the gallant leader of the inn
mortal charge. and all that sort of stuff?
I'll tell you. l feel like sheep"
J. Nj. Barrie's story OF how telegraph
editor. receiving dispatch that the Iu-
lus had taken nmbrage,' headed the
news Capture of Umbrage by the Zu-
lus,' has been paralleled by an editor in
the West. Shortly after the anti-Semitic
riots in Austria. Il slight shock of earth
quake was felt in the vicinity of Vienna,
and cable dispatch put it tersely that
there had been Seismic disturbances
near the capital. He headed the item,
Down with the Jews
There are sometimes sharp encounters
of wit at horse deals. says the Scottish
American. The latest we have heard
comes from Falkrk. where trade was
being effected between a Highland deal
er and wel-known Glasgow man. The
seller called out to his man:
Hi, Jock, rim DOT the minister's pow
ME. There's a beast for We moo. A
gran, lean. lanky beast. t belanged to
the minister o - mentioning a High
land parishl, and it has got plenty O
preachin'."
''Ay, maybe it has" was the canny
answer of the Glasgow man. maybe
it has; but it seems to haze got mighty
little O the stipend
Il want you to make a correction
said the imperious lady sweeping into
the editors sanctum. In your report of
cur meeting yesterday. you speak of the
delegates elected as Mrs Gen Skipba ok
and Mrs Brown You give Mrs. Skip
back her title, why not me"'
ooh, you are Mrs. Rrown?'
yes. I am Mrs. President-of-the-Im
perial lille and Trust Company Brown
Press.
Retort Courteous.-Mrs. Nexdore--:'I
notice you've got new paper in your
hall Mrs. Pepprey.-''Yes: How do
you like the design" Mrs. Nexdore-'It
seems to me it's rather loud" Mrs. Pep
prey-"Yes. that's why we selected it.
We thought it might drown the sound of
your daughters piano playing. ''-Phila
delphia Press.
The Minister-''I'm sorry tae hear
Jock, that you're all on strike down at
the auld town. I'm surprised at ye
Dinna ye ken that the Apostle Paul says,
Servants, obey your masters, in all
thiHgs"" The EIder-"Ave. I ken, but
that's just where me and the Apostle
Paul differs. ''-Moonshine.
Ethel-"When man talks all by HIM
self what is that called"' Mamma