Passaic City record., 1900-05-26

a. ~ was such thor
SA A oughly congenial
%CGA fellow. Bnt vexed
10 at him certainly
was, as I sat regarding him through
the smoke wreaths that drifted up
ward from our after-dinner cigars. 1t
was not merely his having refused me
the $3 loan I desired of him that ac-
counted for my resentment, but the
absurdness of his excuse that I took
most seriously to heart. Had he con-
tented himself with pleading tempor-
ary financial destitution, it had been
amply sufficient and entirely above
criticism. But when my companion
nonchalantly appended his declara-
ton of bankruptcy with the statement
that he had that same evening util-
lied his last So in the payment of his
quarterly contribution to foreign
missionary fund it was too much.
"Its straight tip, Joe. Fact is,
I've been doing that sort of thing for
six years steady now"
Seeing that I looked incredulous,
he added: "My interest in foreign
missions is simple obligation, quite
as essential to my own mental equan-
unity as to the spiritual welfare of the
heather. Besides, my donations are
restricted to single country"
wss quite in the humor to hear
one of Thornton's stories. Where
fore, I lighted another of my friends
/ good cigars, settled myself comfort
ably in the big stuffed chair I had
pre-emptied and graciously observed:
"Go ahead, old chap; I'm listening" !"
SIT happened somewhere about six
years ago." began Thornton. II was
at that time employed as coin-teller
in the United States sub treasury in a
large Western city. The duties of
my position brought me in contact
with people of every nationality.
"Most popular of all our cosmopol-
itan clientage was the Chinese con-
tingcnt. Hardly a week passed with
out one or more of those Celestials
putting in an appearance before my
window Though intensely ignorant
as to business methods, they were
crafty, and as time went by their IL
relevant pigeon English, coupled with
an inveterate tendency toward de-
ceitfulness, aroused in myself and as
sistants cordial dislike for the race.
''Their business was invariably the
exchanging of specie for gold certifi-
Gates, which they were accustomed
either to send away to China or take
with them upon leaving the States for
their native realm. In negotiating
the exchange for these certificates
they made it a rule to turn over their
money in paper rolls of miscellaneous
amounts and denominations.
"And the provoking part of it was
that each and every one Of the rogues
would mark fictitious values upon
their various packages, with theresult
that on counting the money the ag-
gregate would invariably fall short of
the amount their figures represented.
Expostulations on my part were per-
sistently ignored, and the deception
was attempted with exasperatingregu-
larity. Finally, having endured the
annoyance for over year, deter
mined to use heroic measures in order
to exiirpate it.
"'Jack, said in sheer desperation
to my chief assistant, one day, 'this
bunco business has continued quite
long enough, and has got to stop. The
next Mongolian that tries to work
this department will hear things from
me thatll make his queue curl at the
end
81 hadn't long to wait. The very
next N orning in walked dapper lit
tie Chinaman carrying sack of coin.
Approaching my window, the celestial
deposited his funds on the counter.
"'Catchee clitiicate,' he said in his
picturesque dialect.
"'You want certificate?' I re-
joined with preliminary survey Of
the money rolls. 'How much you got,
John?'
"'Thlee hun'ed fly dollah,
promptly returned the celestial.
''All right, John, I look see, re-
Joined, not little skeptically, as I
transferred the sack to the computing
table. Having emptied the contents
thereon, I tossed the canvas recep-
tacle into my Office chair, which stood
conveniently at hand, and proceeded
with my calculations. AS usual, the
result failed to correspond with the
Chlnaman's statement. The amount
was exactly $40 short. Hurriedly
dashing off certificate in accordance
with my figures, I turned to the wait
ing customer.
"'See here, you yellow scoundrel! !!
said I, roughly, 'what for you tell me
you got $3.50, when you got only
$340? You think 'Merican man fool
to let Chinaman cheat him that way?
'sWith this rebuke I thrust the
document under the window guards
toward the Celestial, but to my SUR
prise he pushed it back, protesting
excitedly.
"sNo-no. Catchee thlee hunted
l'ty dollah! Chinaman no cheatee'
'Melican man no countee light -catchee
ten dollah mo-!
:sNot on your lifer I reieiued