davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05
GRAND OPERA.
Kansas City and Return $2.67 via
the Santa Fe.

Tickets on sale Dec. 10th and 18th,
limited Dec. 18th. Six trains a day ia
each direction.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05

Tickets on sale Dec. 10th and 18th.
limited Dec. 18th. Six trains a day in
each direction.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05
Cleanup Sale House Wrappe
Small Lots to Clean Up.

A very fine quality feeced back wrapper-has deep
rufle at bottom-rufle shouder-braid trimmed
e oHar d pTio sSu o.us anu wn9 neu9a (5C
very fine quality Percale Wrappers-good assort-
ment of coors-new styles-have deep rutte on both
shoulders and bottom-also braid trimmed-wen QQr
worth $125. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. OOS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05

The stage carpenter who builds seen
cry for a melodrama often has to make
a bluff
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05

The pennant for getting up the most
elaborate Thanksgiving dinner belongs
to a North Atchison woman. She had II
guests. -Four have been in bed ever
since. three are half sick, and the bal
ance haven't been good natured since
the dinner.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05

st notice you do not print Hicks
weather prophecies writes a subscri-
her No neither do we print the pro-
pheeies of fortune tellers. Hicks knows
nothing whatever about the weather: to
believe that he does. is an evidence of
mental weakness.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05

Mrs. Buggins-''I did something to-
day that I've been screwing UP my cour-
age to do for long time. I've paid that
odious Mrs. Bjones a call I've owed for
a long time Mr.. Buggins-"I can
sympathize with you, my dear I paid
the odious Mr.. BjoneS a bill I've owed
just as long
'I'm very much disappointed in this
dog show remarked Mr.. Wigwag- Il
it, said Mrs Wigwag INTEREST"
cried Mr.. Wigwag; why, the thing ;
over now, and I've been watching the
papers closely every day and not one OF
them said anything about society going
to the DOGS ,,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05
always with us. Some borez are rich

Sitting in a draught probably supplies
most of the ills that flesh is air to.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05
GRAND OPERA.

Kansas City and Return $2,e7 via
the Santa Fe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05

When a woman sits and looks around
her parlor thoughtfully, her husband
might as we'll be warned that she is de-
Gliding how she will arrange the furni-
ture when she gives a reception.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05

If you have time to spend in investi-
eating a subject, investigate something
known to be true: something like cleo
tricity, or astronomy. Don't waste val
liable time in investigating spiritualism,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05

The man who says he can make him
self understood in a foreign language
always reminds us of the woman who
plays the piano for her own amuse-
ment:' one talks as badly as the other
DlaVS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05

There is so much trouble In the
world, at best. that you should have az
ambition to annoy others as little as
possible.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05

A recent prize, for which thirty wo-
men fought for three hours, and friend
ships of many years. standing were
shattered in disputes over points. cost
just three cents
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05

For years we have been told that ev-
cry one should exercise a good deal Nov
comes a scientist who declares thai
exercise is injurious, and that the resi-
cure is the proper thing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-12-05

Half the men subpoenaed as witnesses
claim they do not know anything, and
in most cases they are telling the truth
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-09-06

Censorship was maintained pref
ty rigidly during the Spanish
American war. Most of the COR
respondents faithfully observed
the rules. Some others, however,
tried various methods and devices
to evade them. When Samp-
son sailed for Porto Rico in the
early spring young correspondent
at Key West who knew Of the
plan raked his brain to think of a
way to communicate it to his home
office. Just as he was about to
put to sea himself in a dispatch
boat he sent telegram to his
office reading as follows:
"Tell father I have gone to
Porto Rico"
He argued that this was very
simple cipher for the people in
the office to read. He confded his
great scheme to none of his as
sociates and for a couple of weeks
Rugged himself with the idea that
he had 'sbeaten" them all.
When he returned to Key West
a telegram from his paper was
handed him. He opened it, ex-
pecting to read congratulations,
and nearly tainted when he saw
these words:
"Have made many inquiries,
but have been unable to find your
father New York Sun.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-09-06
-:AGENTS WANTED:-

Every agent realizes the import
ance of handsomely bound, finely
illustrated, and extremely popular
book at the price Of one dollar.
Forty thousand copies Of ''The
Conquest of Poverty" sold in the
paper binding within three months
of coming out. Then there came
constant demand for the volume
bound in cloth. so we bound it and
illustrated it with scenes from our
beautiful home surroundings.
Send 60 cents for sample copy of
the book, cloth bound, and instruc-
tons "How to Work A County
Successfully"
Mrs. Helen Wilmans.
Sea Breeze, Florida.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-09-06
From Other "Pens''

The coatless young man and his
young woman companion meand-
cred into one of the swell restau-
rants and sat down at table. The
young man had met the young
woman when he had not expected
10. That explained the absence of
his coat.
The waiter took their orders.
Then he went over to the pro-
prietor- Then the waiter returned.
Sorry, sab, but we can't serve
shirt waist gentlemen in the pres
ence of ladies, sab"
The young man favored him
with an icy stare. So did the
young woman. Then they started
out, but the young man fell be-
hind the young woman long
enough to press the fourth part Of
dollar into the walters hand and
whisper:
"Your kindness and that of the
proprietor will never be forgotten.
My lady friend insinuated so
strongly that she was hungry that
I was actually forced to ask her
to dine. I have not got money
enough to pay for the simplest kind
Of lunch. If you had served us
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-09-06

[ would have had a fit. [ staked
my all and won. God bless your
indianapolis Sun.
Wayne Macveagh, the we'll
known Philadelphia lawyer, and
ex-minister to Italy, has a keen
sense of humor.
Recently he was arguing a
tedious, technical case before the
supreme court. The affair drifted
through long days Of uninterest.
ing detail. When it was finally
ended, Mr.. MacVeagh and a COL
league, in talking it over, specu-
lated as to whom Chief Justice
Fuller would assign to write the
opinion in the case, and the specu-
lation resulted in a wager.
Just then Chief Justice Fuller
came down the corridor. Mr..
MacVeagh called him and told
him of the wager.
eff you will help me out, Mr..
Chief Justice, and tell me whether
my guess is correct, the affair can
be settled right here, for you have
the assigning to do and know
whom you will ask to write the
decision"
"Whom have you selected in
your wager, Nh. Mac Veagh?" asked
Mr.. Fuller, keenly interested.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-09-06
BUDS NEW OUTFIT.

thinkin' that they wur anything
else but foine pair?''
"Gee whizz! Cess thin. are all
right. They are nice and white,
though, and a Teller can't go round
doctorin' COWS with them on, but
I seen lots of fellers warm them,
so I CESS I will take them"
"Sure an we know when We
have foine deal, me boy. Now
me next is me foine line Of shoes,
an OF have them to match the
pants
"Well, just toss in pair of
them. But say, you want to keep
cases on that five dollars and let
me know when it is time to stop
buyin', kos [ amt got darn cent
left, and when that is all gone I
can't buy any more. See?"
"Faith an OF will kape me Dyes
paled on the foive.''
"Well I reckon if there is
enough left you better throw in a
hat, kos I wore this old Teller for
the last three summers, and she is
we'll nigh gone to seed.'
"Oi have a foine loine Of hats.
me boy, an here is wan Of the
latest stoiles.'
"Well I reckon that will do.
Say how is the five getting along?''
"Sure an OF am not unasy
whole OF have her in me fist. Ye
still own enough to buy a foine
shirt waist
"a shirt waist? What in the
dickens would [ be buying a shirt
waist for? Didn't [ tell you that
my girl give me the high ball.
Cess I amt big fool enough to buy
anything for her, kos if I did she
would try and ketch me- for a
sucker. See?"
"Sure We wouldn't be other
buyin' it for your girrel, but We
would be other warm it yourself.
Sure an it's the latest stole. An
OF wur thinkin' about warm wan
for advertisement
"Well if that wouldn't kill a
rooster. Say I reckon I'll take
one of them new tangled shirts.
I'm bound to be in style anyway
"Well, me darlin' boy It's the
foive dollars worth that We have
an [ will throw in wan of me foine
glass sparks, an We will be sure to
take the town by sthorm, an OF
will garantee your ould swateheart
will fall in yer arms loike O'Tools
goat. Come again. me boy, when
We have the coin, and may good
luck chase We home. Oh have
another mug to waite on, so, good
bye"
well, CESS I'll be goin' now
too" Roxy.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-09-06
Written for THE Prison Mirror.

Written for The Prison Mirror.
"Hello there, Mr. Murphy; sort
.er looks like you have gone into
the dry goods business"
"Sure and would We behave yer
own eyes, Bud?"
"Well [ sorter reckon [ would:
they never troubled me any yet.
"Phwat the divil wor we askin'
me for then?''
"Say, have you got anything in
here that is strictly up-to-date and
fancy like?'
"Sure, me boy, an would ye be
other calm me a shany? Sure
an if ye are a-thinkin' SO, We
would be safe to change your
moind. Faith an OF have wan av
the foinest layouts in the berg"
"Well say, now, if [ have got
enough money along I'll just sort
er dress up little like, kos I'm
: gettin' gol darned tired Of bum
min around like one Of them fell
lers they call hobo. Say, here is
all I got. Kin you fix me up in
any kind Of tiptop shape for it?
There is five dollars and sixty-four
cents all together
Faith an OF can make We the
foinest bargain fer the money ye
ever drained av in all yer born
days. Sure an your avn darlin'
wouldn't know you if We wor to
mate her on the sthrate"
"Well [ should say she wouldn't.
Sorter CESS me and my girl don't
stand in any more. She used to
be the SWEETEST in the bunch, but
she sorter got sour like, bein' it is
So gol darned hot. Well what is
the use of Teller maxim racket
over it any way. She amt the
only can on the dump. Sorter
reckon there are more left yet"
"Sure me foine boy ye have
had hard tonne. Now would We
be other lookin' at me foine logs?
Sure OF kin give We an outfit fer
your money an ye kin go an mate
yer ould swateheart an it will be
all over. Sure an would We be
thinkin' that OF have the latest
stole out? Oh have the celebrated
duck pants"
''What! duck pants. Sorter CESS
that is something new. Didn't
know they had any pants fer ducks.
Say they must be tame ducks, amt
they?"
eye poor innocent divil an wor
ye thinkin' that OF were sellin'
pants fer burreds?'
"Well you said you had some
duck pants, didn't your"
''Sure me boy. Here be the
foine pants, an would We be other
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-09-06

Gray?"
Because [ noticed he slept
through the entire argument"
answered Mr.. MacVeagh. -Phila-
delphia Post.
Nearly every man has his double
someone who looks so much like
him as to be frequently mistaken
for "the original Jacobs" Sir
Henry Irving has not escaped. A
short time since he received
letter from a man in Paris who
told of his marked likeness to the
great actor. At first, the stranger
wrote, it was a pleasure to- be
taken for so distinguished man,
but in time the novelty wore off
and he had been both annoyed
and embarrassed by the continual
necessity of explaining that he
was he, and not Sir Henry. The
letter concluded by mentioning
that $50 would be of consider
able service to him. Would Sir
Henry remit by return of post and
thus in a measure atone for the
annoyance to which the likeness
had subjected him?
Irving happened to read the
letter to Bran Stoker, and then
said that he thought he must send
the man something, not $50 per-
haps. but
eff yell let me, I'll answer the
letter for you,'' said Mr.. Stoker,
who has an Irish accent to match
his Irish wit. A few days later
Irving said:
"You answered that letter, Mr..
Stoker?"
Il did, then, and wrote him adj
vice of a friendly nature, besides
the money sent to him.
"You sent him money, ha! I
hope it was enough"
"'Twas, then" murmured Stoker,
beaming, ''and the letter to boot.
Shall [ tell you what was in it?
Well, then, it was half a crown I
sent to him" half a crown is just
about 60 cents), ''and I just wrote
him that since it was his likeness
to you was vexin' him we'll, then,
to take the half crown and go and
have his hair cut. ''-Evening Wis
consin.
Maj. Hughes admiration for the
once mighty John L. Sullivan is
so we'll known in sporting circles
that it no longer excites curiosity
or comment. The major does not
regard the present day champions
as being in the same class as the
once great fighter, and his con-
tempt sometimes leads him astray.
He and Jeffries recently met in
the same city, and, Of course, the
conversation drifted around to the
prize ring and the pugulists.
"Why," exclaimed the major,
''you fellows were not in it with
Sullivan. You should have seen
him in his prime. He had the
toughest arm that I ever saw.
The muscles were like iron, and it
was impossible to indent his flesh"
"Why, Sullivan in his palmiest
days never had an arm such as
mine,'' replied the champion.
"Why, that's ridiculous" re-
torted the major.
"Well, feel this arm, them" and
Jeffries held out his left.
The major felt the arm and
found it as hard as steel. Then
he thumped on it, but with no
better result. He might as we'll
have struck brick wall for all
the impression that he made. He
tried hard and long: then turning
to the champion he said: "Well,
l never expected to see an arm
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-09-06
PATENTS GUARANTEED

Our fee returned if we fail. Any one sending
sketch and description of any. invention viii
the patentability of same. "How to obtain a
Patent" sent upon request. Patents secured
through us advertised for sale at our expense.
Patents taken out through us receive special
notice, without charge, in The PATENT RECORD.
an illustrated and widely circulated journal,
consulted by Manufacturers and Investors.
Send for sample copy FREE. Address,
VICTOR j. EVANS co.
(Patenf Attorneys,)
Evans Building, WASHINGTON. q. q
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-09-06

Justice Gray" answered Mr..
Mac eagh.
"And why did you choose Mr..
Gray?"
Because l noticed he slept
through the entire argument"
answered Mr.. MacVeagh.- Phila-
delphia Post.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-09-13
A TRUE AMERICAN
POLICY OF EXPANSION
AS ADVOCATED BY ONE OF THE FOUNDERS OF THE
OLD REPUBLICAN PARTY
courageous UtteranceS of Hon Henry ". COrbett
Demanding Justice For Our Island
Population
Courageous
Words of Wisdom from an Old Republican Statesman.

The time will arrive when policy
Tor these newly pcure possessions and determining policy
BE JUST EQUITABLE AND FAIR, the
island possessions which SHOULD BE UNIFORM
TERRITORIAL POSSESSION acquired held
EXPECT PEACE AND PROSPERITY MUST BE JUST IF
WE LEVY TANES these people NOT LEVIED
THEM TO REBEL AGAINST SUCH TAXEs equitable
with confidence in integrity that intend deal justly equtab
them as with all other portions Of the country which flag floats THESE
whether they dealt with with the Justice por
DOING THIS THE SOONER THEY WILLING 10 LAY DOWN
THEIR ARMS whenhey allowed REPRESENTATIVE CONGRESS
10 PLEAD THEIR CASE even without other territories
'hey wi" enghen their community Of the Justice and equity with which
and their interests are treated " the national capital In the
practical solution {" this question must be done in tatetman
equitable manner making the load equally light for all bear
The above clear people the islands that
acquired Spain H. w. Corbet Of
Portland aunc Republican party
lie declares his signature any upon Porto Rice
Cuba the Philippines.
He declares that sucl EXrECr THEM
TO REBEL AGAINST SUCH TAXEs."
lie declares Fpno treated uny and that
the policy them THE SOONER
THEY WILL BE WILLING DOWN THEIR ARMS"
Lastly Mr. Coe declares that the Fipno only justified in
rebeng a" unjust tariff laws but that they ENTITLED TERRI
ToRAL FORM GOVERNMENT "a REPRESENTATIVE IN CON-
GREss TO PLEAD THEIR CASE"
will be in order Republican organs Mr. Corbet sympaer
with rebels and bo rebellion responsible for every
of blood shed in the Philippines.
Mr. coOe 'ay 20 words that rebellion island
populations usaoe we levy tariff people
Inc sugar "us e tobacco trust the te trust will
tt The trusts do the SOoOOo products imported annually from
those islands fatal to the trusts
and benefit consumer.
o Massachusetts, exactly what Mr. Corlt saw. r,p
oar was switched of by party Hoar told Cobet tells
Inc TRUTH when he declares that policy part of the
pie and entirely different come under the fac
1t will be recalled upheld Senator Simon in voting oon
he Porto Rico tariff BILL which Mckinley was violation Of ou
plain duty country Intercourse with its own po
afterwards said that bill might cost ,h pa
publcans the election.
1t not to be wondered at that the administration Republicans at Portland
iead the regular Republican ticket representatives m was
understood that ticket friendly
orbett from there votes in favor of ~
ustie toward our island possessions aud people
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-09-13


The Bottle of Hair Tonic was in a
self congratulatOry mood. "Well," Il
boasted, 81 think | can tell hair rails.
ing ghost stories IL any one can"
The coy Peach was very angry as
well as STIRRED up" when the house
keeper ladled her into the preserve jar
"Now, wouldn't that Jar you" she eX.
claimed, rather slangy.
The False Tooth spoke with icy
hauteur: IL belong to the upper set. 4"
Possibly" retorted the bobtalled Kite
lnclslyely, but let It be distinctly un.
derstood that | myself move In the
highest circles"
The cracked piece of psuedo antique
China spoke frankly: "Of course I'm
not what I'm cracked up TO be-
Then her fcminlnity asserted itself,
and she finished coyly, But I'm not
nearly as old as | look"
The angry Stick OF Giant Powder
stormed at the proud patrlcIan Tack
"You have n big head because you
have laid a few carpets low" The
Tack was silent. I'm supreme" boast
ed the Powder, waxing bold. "No one
can hold n candle to me, and every
one is afraid to blow me up" " "Well,"
retorted the Tack pointedly, at the
same time striking match nobody
can walk over a member OF the Tack
family with lmpunity" y"-Philadelphla
Inquirer
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-09-13
beauty aud Education.

Why is Il that woman has always
been more beautiful than man? In
human beings the attractive qualities
have always been on the side of the
female Why is itt Without wishing
To east any uspersion ON the members
OF the superior scN, we may fairly an
swer that II is because they have hith-
erto been the less educated. But WON.
ans ideas are changing She has lis.
tened to the voice of the tempter, wills.
pering In her ear all sorts Of sweet fal,
hcieS about equality Of the sexes in.
tellectual development ana its neces.
sIty, ana the like, and she has yielded
to the temptation And the result of
this will be that she will lose ber
beauty. She viii suffer In appearance
as man has done ANA is doing, and IN
the course OF time the extremely civ.
ll2ed races of mankind viii be ugly
lrretrievably and hmcntably ugly
Parsons Magazine.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-09-13
A Profitable DennsI,

remember the case OF an old lady at
E. who usually had from $4,000 TO
fl5,OOO standing TO her credit, and,
needless 10 say, as she did not ask for
any interest thereupon, none was al
lowed her The manager whenever
she entered the office was always most
particular 20 step forward aud Inquire
most tenderly concerning the state OF
her health, and II she replied that she
was suffering from a slight cold the
expression upon the mans face grew
quite sad. No wonder, when he re
membered that even a slight cold might
carry of an old lady who was handing
his company at least 1900 a year
How TO Deal With Your Banker" by
Henry Warren.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-09-13
DISTRICT CONVENTIONS.
Marion County Sunday School Association
Makes Preparations

Marion County Sunday School Association
Makes Preparations.
President Robert Reid, OF the Marion
County Sunday school Association, has
issued circular letter to the Sunday
school workers Of the county notifying
them of the dates for holding the district
conventions OF Reorganization, and urg.
ing upon them the Importance of max
ing these conventions a success.
The dates for holding the different
conventions and the names of the dis
trict presidents are as follows;
Salem, district No. /, j. $. Foster,
Presi lent, in Salon, October 10, with
morning, afternoon and evening es-
sions.
Hayesville, district No. .. }. o. Beard
= ey, president, at North Howell, Sep
tember 30,
Woodhurn, district No. 3, h d, Flint,
president, in Hubbard, October ?.
Silyerton, district No. 4, Alexander
Thompson, president, ia Slverton, o.
tober 3.
Stayton, district No. 5, Henry @. Por
ter, president, in Stayton, octob,ri.
Red Hills, district No, 6, Chas. Town.
fud,P 'u.,u' } li'Iu. tuGu
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-09-13
"Good Counsel
Has No Price. "
crn.. word. KIN a nIrd.

A bird which receives a scolding IL
made as miserable and unhappy there
by as a child would be- To illustrate
this Our Dumb Animals tells the fol-
lowing story:
A Massachusetts woman had few
years ago a beautiful canary bird
which she dearly loved and to which
she had never spoken an unkind word
In her life.
One day the church organist was
away, and she stopped after church to
play the organ for the Sunday school.
In consequence OF this the dinner had
to be put Off an hour, and when she got
home her good husband vas very an
cry, and he spoke to her unkindly.
The things were put on, and they sat
down i'm silence at the table, and pres
emily the bird began to chirp at LSr as
It always had to attract her attention.
To shame her husband for having spO-
ken so she turned to the bird and for
the first time In her life spoke to it in Il
most violent and angry tone. In less
than FIVE minutes there was n flutter.
Ing in the cage. She sprang to the
cage. The bird was dead.
Mrs. Hendricks the wife of the late
vice president Of the United States,
said that she once killed a mocking
bird in the same way. 1t annoyed her
by loud singing. To stop It she spoke
in a violent tone and pretended TO
throw something at it, and within five
minutes II was dead.