davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25
Hard 90 Convince Her.

From the Chicago Chronlcls.
Smiling Denny" O'COnn0r the an .
lieutenant IN command OF the Desplairas
street station tells a story OF how his ps.
parrot came near causing bitter FEELINGS
between his wife and one of her most ll-
innate friends.
Some time ago Lieut.. OConnor p4--
chased a parrot and the bird soon becaus
an expert az taking The police o'le-r
also has a pet fox terrier which he's ar.
qulred the habit of barking every tins
the door bell rings, This anu0ys M-r.
OConn0r, and she Was forced 70 scJit rEs
animal 30 frequently that the parrot sya9
learned 20 take the task upon hims-.,
Recently Mrs.. O'Counor vent downtown
shopping and during her absence He-
Re!ghbor called. She rang the bell Jl.
received no response. Inside she could
hear a dog barking and a voice command
Ing the animal % keep quiet. The Er.gE-
Dor finally became discouraged and irf.
Several days later she met Ms. Ocoaa9r
and her first remark was iu regard 20 ae-
refusal To answer the bell on ihe 3eelsi2a
mentioned. Ars. O'COnBor told her nr.gh-
Dor she was not a. home oa that cay'
whereap0n the friend remarked. o.
ycs. you we're FOR ! heard y3g ie.Ans tHs
dos % keep quiet" larn Ms - C'AiiDF
saw the Joke and explained th4t u "@s
the parrot seolding the dos and a2t h"f'
The nelrhbor refused 20 be eoAtlaIgo'
however. until Mrs 0Conhor iosA'9 th'
cog ara parfos l1 the house Aaa Zen Zen
went OUTSIDE snd fsHf tHs 80. ss,,-s -
IN afe1lsey1Fnf uf MrH otoHn3f ana TIE
asroutEnrneDf of EhF htisI-''--
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25
HORN AS BURGLAR ALARM.
Recommended for Protection of DwelIers
In Suburban Neighberho0ds.
From the Chicago Tribune

From the Chicago Tribune.
There had been an unusual number Of
petty rObberies in one of the suburban n
towns, and the men on the incoming
train were talking about the matter.
There were the usual expressions of opin-
ion that there should be more constables
or watchmen, and that the villains ought
TO be hanged. and that the people should
take the law into their own hands.
That's all very well" said one man,
but ii happens that no one has known
he was robbed until the next morning
with the exception of two or three cases
where noises were heard. and then those
who heard them were afraid 10 investi-
gate
That is cOwardly." said another sub
urbanite.
NO. it isn't" replied the first speaker.
Its only natural. l would rather have
the fellows carry off my house than run
up against the muZzle Of a cold pistol"
DO you mean to say that We must
tamely submit to these outrages?'' de-
manded tall thin man. excitedly.
Not by any means. We ought 10 arm
ourselves and have a concerted scheme OF
action. One OF the articles OF defense that
every householder should have Is a horn"
whats the good Of hOTn?" asked TWO
or three at once. Hit EN- with it?''
Finest alarm in the world. rattle Is
no use at all. pistols are out Of the cues.
ton With amateurs. and there is no use
shouting out OF the window because the
lone policeman viii either not hear YoU or
think II Is a party coming home hilarious
But you try horn-One Of those Christ
mas or masquerade affairs about two feet
long that makes hOarse roar like a mad
bull. In the stiffness of the night the ef-
feet would be 10 wake the town and
when the sound was heard IL would be the
signal for every man 10 rush out In the
street with any weapon he had handy on
you needn't be afrejd that the thieves
would wait 10 ask what was up. They are
rot couFting publicity. and al TIE firsJ
note they would streak IL. And II the DO
liceman was asleep he would awake ard
know exactly what had happened and ae
on the lookout. Oh, it's great schemei
What do you say We call a meeting az the
town hall and talk IL oyerg'
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25
sir Lipron'. Bright Little Cretan Protese

From the L0Idon Telegraph
Cruising in the Grecian archipelago In
the early months Of this year Sir Thomas
Upton was brought into contact with a
young stripping OF Cretan blood, named
StelliO AFghirI. The lad was bus four
teen years Of age and had lost both
parents. they having been murdered dur
ing the sanguinary days OF the insurrec-
ton in Crete. There was nothing abnor-
NAL about the boy except his marvellous
mastery Of languages. Buneted about
from place 70 place. living how he could
he had mixed With men OF many races
and when just on the verge Of his teens
had managed 10 pick up more than n
smartcring of French, German Italian
Russian. and Greek as well as 4 tolerable
acquaintance win Armenian. The pres
ence OF the allied forces in Crete account
ed largely. II not principally. for this fe-
velOpmeHt OF linguistic capacity. anf II
was not long before the leaders of the &C.
eupying force realized that young ArrHf-f
might Be Of service 20 them Accordtr-I.
TIE Italian admiral ftrst utilized him as a.
Interpreter on board his vesse! and SUBJ
quently he was employed 10 a similar @ %
pAcltY with The SeatOrih High anders 4
detachment o. whom formed part az fha
British force. From both these sources of
employment he received. al the early az.
OF eleven. certificates OF proficiency
Sir Thomas resolved 70 adopt rim IL
vas brought over 10 this country oy
benefactoF. gaTbed 10 suit his new SUI
roundinss, established al Osldgs. Sir
Thomas pretty mansion al Sogfhgafr
and put under the Iutelags Of Ihs masters
OF Enteld Grammar school. There. al
though ne has only been on the register :
since the end OF April last. he has found
favor with his companions,
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25
COULDN'T GET ANY COFFEE.
Digusted Waiter Finds Ali the Wholesale
Houses Closed.


From the Chicago Chronicle.
II needed no Sherlock Holmes 20 tell
that he was a waiter in a downtown res
taurant. for he wore the white coat and
apron. and. indeed. upon his breast a
large tin shield, giving the name OF the
restaurant and the number OF the waiter
But he was sitting on the curbstone in the
wholesale district enTiehing the atmos-
phere around him with selections from an
apparently profuse and elaborate vocab-
ulary.
After he had worked himself out OF
breath, his stock OF adjectives never fall
ing him. a passer-by asked him the cause
OF his troubles.
The question reused him 10 momentary
action. and after short prelude OF Inter
jectlOns. he said:
Il never saw such dod-blasted town as
this, anyway. Every wholesale house in
the city Is closed for this @. a r bust
ness. and I can't get any coffee"
The pssser-by suggested that he allow
the guests OF the res tdUrdntS 10 drink tea
But We amt got no tea" he rstorTec-
Further questioning elucidaIed the fact
that the crush OF Grand Army OF the Re
public visitors had run the place cut OF
tea. cocoa. and coffee simultaneously. and
that the waiter had been sent out 20 get
supplies, and after mad rush 10 several
places. had found them ali closed Thls
had ratified him. and he forgot the fact
that retail stores We're still open
NO use, now" he said II left the sho9
half an hour ago, and then the crowd was
shouting for something 10 drink III only
be fred II 90 back, and ] won't 20"
So saving he deliberately took OF hts
white coat and apron. laid them in the
dirtiest part OF the gutter. and walked OF
toward his home In his shirt sleeves.
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25

place ttie stoves. raise the temperate, :.
the car to - again remove the stoves -.
more, close the car giEhi. and sisrt ~
This process makes the cargo p4rsa..,..
safe for forty-eight % sixty h01rz sys,
though the thermometer outside sa5r.ls :
down 10 zero.
Manure. on account ~ its praperr,. a.
generating beat Is largely used a. a -
lection for perishabis products on ts.
rail. the bottom of the car being fbi,tr..
covered with 1t. while sometimes O. Is ~,
on TOP Of the goods also FlGRfrs -
packed IN moss. and viii remain f-.s,
four days under favorable cirtumsfs-,.,
Shrubs and fruit trees are covered vtis
straw. and the roots are carefully ps-s.t
IN straw. Extra precautions are ar,
with trees when passing over u1g-ss.-.
on account Of the cold az high e.e.s,.r-,
and no shipments are made lrr1..7,
mountainous regions when zs5o Vsrth.-
threatens
Food products in cans or glass must .rs.
be shipped when the temperature Us bsr5-.
freezing a Well-ventilatei. dry cellar t.
the best place in which % store rr-..s
potatoes. and vegetables generally. t.,
temperature being frCm 81 20 l5 5r-raas
Apples are not made unfit f1r rss b..
freezing. II they are allowed 20 th-w graz
Ually. Tropical fruits in storage shorss
Re kept at from g. to % degrees. Mineral
waters exposed 20 q Temperature below 4,
degrees soon spoil. Beer may De sh.onas
in an outside temperature o. 30 degree,
II the kegs are packed In hay OF saVfg.,
and fresh stable manure.
Butter freezes at Is degrees F8hrerhs,
and when thawed becomes strong quickly
Mix should never BE- allowed 10 fraezs
Pork is injured more quickly by high t,r-
peratureS than other meats. Bu, thtss
are only a few Of the useful bits OF iuf---
nation which the Weather Bureau 5gx
gathered and compiled from the axperencs
of shippers all over the country.
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25
QUEER RESULT OF A WHISPER.
II Threw One Mans Ankle Completely Out
of Joint.

OF JOINT.
From the Chicago Chronicle.
Hugo Crosse walks with painful limp
He drags his right foot as If il was 4
lump Of lead. A man attempted to whis-
per IN his ear and threw his ankle out of
gear. II is a long way from the auricular
appeudage to the pedal extremity. Hugo's
friends think il was funny affair. After
the swelling has subsided and the cane is
thrown away Hugo may appreciate the
humor Of il. At present he regards the
accident as a bit OF fataliSm.
II happened this way: The morning Of
the departure OF the Cook County Dem
ocracy. in winter clothing. for the torrid
belt that passes through Indianapolis.
Hugo, in the trappings prescribed by the
club, was standing at the sherman House
debating whether he should march in the
procession or take cab 10 the depot 4
bibulous individual who knows politicians
and the political headquarters OF the city
better than the campaign button manu-
factuTer, recognized Hugo as the secrs-
tary Of the Ortseifen boOmlet OF d few
months ago
Let me tell you how il all happened. &"
he said 10 Hugo, but the former secretary
vas not a. amiaLie as In the days when
he was making votes, and he motiOned
his accCster aside But the thirst OF the
bibuiOus man was intense and he return
ed 10 the subject with an intensity that
could not be Warded away. This is for
your ear alone" he said, with a depre-
catOTy gesture. You VIII thank me for
telling you
well, be quick" replied Hugo as he
put one hand into his pocket for a dime
and leaned toward the would-be impaFter
OF information. The latter, reelec IuFch-
81 forward In an effort 10 get close TO
HugO's ear and landed on his neck
Crosse had been standing al the top OF
the stairs leading 10 The German restag-
rant IN the basement Both men rolled
to the bottom The bibulous man was
unconscious and his head was gashed BY
the sharp edge OF a stone riser. Crosse
rode Ia a cab 10 the depot and was not
in the parade IN the Hoosier capital The
man who tried 10 whisper in his ear is IN
the county hospital.
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25

became too occupied TO pay much atten-
ticr % the effect of his speech.
The first inning both teams failed to
seore. In the first half OF the second.
Williamson succeeded I'm getting a man
around the circuit OF the bases. To the
evident disgust Of the deacon In the sec
ond half. after two Of the home players
had been retired. the third got his base On
balls. Then BIZ Medford lined the ball
to deep left for three bases. bringing in
The man on first. The next minute Bill
scored on a wild pitch.
'Woh. woh. woh. yelled the worthy
deacon. forgetting the reason he had
come to the game. Good boy, BIZ. Wen
show those Williamson Eazaboos how To
play ball. It's disgusting spectacle. ne
added. suddenly recollectlng with whom
he was sitting and turning TO the Minis
ter and the Sunday-school superintendent,
a signt TO make a man ashamed OF MS
fellow beings. But that certainly was
peach OF hit he added. emphatically.
Hadn't we better assert our author
IL and have the game stoppedg inquired
the superintendent.
NoT-e 10 stop the Game.
well I don't know that there is any
two replied the deacon, doubtfuily. The
game won't count If we stop it now. Our
boys are ahead. Let them play out the
five innings Then we can assert the
sanctity of the Sabbath and clinch the
championship at the same time
"But when the fifth inning was finished
Williamson was tive runs to the good.
The deacon wouldn't listen to any propo-
siti0n 10 stop the game.
"a man needs to use gumption, he
growled in reply to the arguments OF the
grieved minister and Sunday-school super
intendent. even if he is filed with the
ambition to be a reformer and stop an
interesting exhibition Of the national
game. II you two are looking TO DO
truly righteous action, you'll shoot That
blind robber who thinks he's performing
the duties of an umpire. II he had given
US half a show we would have had those
NUTS from Williamson beaten clear out
of sight by this time
1.-THE minister and the Sunday-school
superintendent were shocked at the
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25

Sunday-sehOoi superintendent agreed TO
this. so the deacon went on with the de-
tails of his scheme.
Even the noble men who conduct re-
forms should sometimes display common
sense continued the deacon. Now
understand the sinful game OF Sunday
baseball better than either of you do, so
! Will take the leadership. We can't very
well stop anything until IL has begun,
so We might as we'll let them play an
inning or two. When l give the signal
You can both step forward and order the
unholy exhibition 10 cease. The crowd
VIII have 4 reverence for your character
and offices which they might. through
soms oversight, fail 10 display toward
the humble man who is al the hack OF
this movement for good
Deacon at Ihe Game.
1T seemed TO both the minister and
the Sunday-school superintendent that
they were going 10 be put In a position
where more bumps than tokens OF es-
TEEN would be coming TO them. But they
were in sympathy with the movement,
and the deacon had been the one who
had started il. So they agreed 10 do as he
directed
Sunday afternoon the deacon, the min
lister. and the Sunday-sehool superintand-
ent all bought tickets for the baseball
game, and took their seats IN the grand
stand. In his younger days the good old
deacon had been a pretty swift article
as a baseball player himself. and the
crowd and the sight OF the men practlc-
ing brought back the memories or form
er days and stirred his sporting blood.
It's a degrading exhibition observed
the minister.
IL certainly IS assented the deacon
but Bill Medford. the captain OF our
team. probably won't come 10 bat until
the second inning. We can't step the
game before then. And IL Bill doesn't
swat that Williamson pitcher he ought 10
b. jailed for breaking the Sabbath and
also FOR being an all-arouId lobster.
Both the Sunday y-sehooi superintendent
and the minister looked as IL tAey thought
the dezcons language wasn't exactly that
of an ardent reformer, but Just then the
umpire called the game, and the deacon
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25

worldly expressions used by the deacon,
but as he was in charge they didn't Ike
to take the responsibility of stopping the
game contrary to his directions.
when the ninth inning came William
son was three runs ahead. The visitors
came first to the bat and were retired in
one. two. three order. For the home
team, a base hit, an error at third, and
four balls filled the bases. Then Bill
Medford, the captain of the home team,
the pride of every rOoter and the best
batter in the county, came TO bat. The
Sunday-school superintendent, who didn't t
understand the game, was shocked at the
shout which went up as Bill picked up his
bat
"'Oh, it's dreadful to have the calm
of the Sabbath interrupted by sucn
noises he urged the deacon. Wouldn't
this be a good time to stop the gamer
But the good deacon had been carried
away by his revived enthusiasm over base
ball, and instead of affirming this pious
plan, was enraged at the superintendent 5
suggestion.
Wanted to Hill the Umpire.
"'Stop the game?' he shouted. Stop
the game with Bill Medford at bat and
three men on bases? Well, of all dod-
dering idiots, you certainly are the prize
specimen. When you get inside the pearly
gates, and the heavenly hosts strike up
their music. l suppose you will let out a
plaintiye bleat: please, Lord, stop Them.
They are making too much noise"
'.The minister and the superintendent
sighed over the deacon's fall from grace,
and moved over TO other seats. But the
deacon didn't care.
Swat il, Billr he shouted, standing
I'D on his seat waving his hat, and with
his gray hair blowing in the wind. Lime
it out. Bill! Tear the leather of! D-ive
a hole through that fat center fielder.'
.Biu waited until he found ball TO his
liking and then swung hard. AS he hit
he turned a little too much. and the ball
sailed in a line over third base, far, far,
beyond the left fielder All the runners
came in. and Bill made the circuit of the
bases. The crowd, thinking the game
won, began to pile on TO the field. prepar-
atory to carrying Bill Medford off in tri-
umph.
But the umpire, who had been vainly
trying to make himself heard, came ruE-
ming up to the home plate. holding up his
hand for silence.
Foul he shouted the umpire. Foul.
Go back to your bases.
This was too much for the deacon.
"'Robber! Thiefr he shouted. running
at the umpire Kill him! Throw the
umpire into the river.'
When the tangie was finally straight
ened out the good deacon was a sorrow
full and badly bumped refOrmer. l tried
to console him, but he refused TO be COM
forted.
The minister and the Sunday-school
superintendent are trying 20 have me
expelled from the Moral Reform Club for
allowing the game 10 go on, said the dea-
con sorrowfully, and the baseball fans
blame me for not stopping the unholy ex-
hibitiOn when We were ahead. A FOUL
Why. that ball was the fairest ever bat
ted on an American diamond.
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25
na.a..as..sfEo,aIIIssas
- -

Paris Dsspsiea 70 lestoa Etssyss
slncs n mrrder q Kins Humbert az
,sr,1o, -. ben drawn 90 a book Of hor-
oscopss pabl.sb~s here In 10. IN which
JuIy u isa. Vas prsdlrtea a. TIE date
.,Tsar,lsinet for King HumoeFt o. ltaiy .
~. ms Nas the date q Ms murder. The
slbvl wsos- forecast 20 The case of 80
lsurderea King proved 30 terribly aeca-
rate areN horoscopes % other reSerelEr' :
s.~trh ss.trsf rvsctress. Thus Nareh q $50,
4 fhe fate ASSIGNED tor the death ~ t1s
Kine % ire Er.s.aGs Nblc tie Efnpcfof
OF Austria u 70 live uniH Ftsruary u
1911, when BE all he an 3ctogsH2flaA
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25
T.e Of fiaiied or Distilled Water.

Fr3 he Lsdlea' Hotae solTfhI
Boiled water or distilled water should
not be used either By grown people or
children unless there is danger from coz.
taminaiion from the water IN ordinary
use. Pure cold water Is preferable. A
child may be given a glass of cool, never
ice water The first thing IN the morning.
say half an hour before breakfast. and
may also take glass 9. retiring
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25
The ~an a Coed HairTsuse
- th. PitlEsarr p.snsiah

EfsIl II FItEstasE LiiatsIIH
Same 0He has discovered thar the sur
Is an excellent hair tonic. The dlscoyere,
Is said 20 have been baid-hesded MAJ
VINO went 50 the beach 10 balke The Tor
Of his head Eog sun5uFned and sore Wher
the soreness disappeared ihc bald-he-a ~ I
man found that his dead bztr had laken
root. ard month LATER rs hea9 vas 10
loaEeE cs.2
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25
Caris-iGs Inyslyed.

From life
katharine-He didn't ask me 10 marry
him and / shall feel al my life the cruel
sting of disappointment
Saney-P50r girl, Were your affections
SO profoundly interestsdg
No: bat q Kills me 10 think / can
ask him Why he didn't ask me-"
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25

glimpse of "A Eaile~se de cuisine % de Ia
Montague. even thut dropping with fiow-
ers and a little girl dressed tn her first
communion dress steps out Of the door.
ner white veil. her wreath. her little
rosary-tken the houses OF Baisse, Grave
lin. Dsrch. Pergeron. Tetrauif. Fiageols.
Lolselie, Rois, Le Sage. such litany Of
French names musical as the litany
"salnte vierge des verges. mere. tou1oars
VERGE" and all the rest Of IL.
Then ID out of triangle Of ris-en-lis. as
the dandeil0ns are called. jumps the white
face % the town hall. smudged and mud
spa;tered. but stln and stubborn. like
small boy Who won't wash. And that
does indeed stsre-it Is the only thing
in Bourbonnals except the people which
does stare
TIE main road branches into two or
three twirs OF ways. one becoming la rue
de la Riviere. the other la rue de fEg-
lise. and here the priests and broth
ers walk under the trees in their long
black cassceks.
70 Poor Among Them.
There are no poor in Bourbonnais. but
the two or three hundred families there
have comfortable incomes, are thrifty and
economical. and hospitsble.
81. Niateur's College was established IN
1876 by the cIerlcs OF ST Viateur. sent rom
Joliet. Canada Il was the first classical
Institution founded by the French in this
country.
But more Interesting than the college
and the convent. more interesting than
the history OF BourbOnnais. are the peO-
pie. As in all villages there are some
. fhrr- .E-ra -
est. so here They are Nine. SavOie. Cap
itaine Berniere, and Simon de Lonais.
De IOnals is the police force" His
star Of Office is brighter than Jupiter.
he patrols his beat on the sagging porch
Of the Legris tavern. The Bourbonnais
people will always keep him in office.
"Pourquoi?" they say; "ah. c'set de
LOnsis,"
Then. too. he would never arrest any
one, his heart is too good. and that they
Ike. Once he did lock some tramps up
IN the calabo0se. but he unlocked them
right of again. The calaboose is a mite
of a bast!le, with terrible padlocks and
iron hinges that make a noise
De Lonais looks like a fighting cock.
savage, grenadier. He wears frown. his
gray mustache bristles, he waves his
arms frantically when he sees tramps.
Mon Dieuf' he cries. mon Dieu. You"
Then. quest que t'aime nlieuX. faire
cOucher lei, Ou bien aller chez, vOus?'
And quite naturally the tramps choose
10 go home.
Nine. SavOie lives in the little window
house on la rue de TEgliSe. She is quick
eyed. tanned and wiry. She Is the Sibyl
OF the village But books could not give
the stories I'm BOurbOnnais. II is never
forgotten, especially at night, when the
music OF the Misere is chanted in the
chapel OF 81. Viateur's.
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25
TEVENT IN CANADA
Proposed Reunion of Acadian
Families in Montreal.
QUAINT MIBDLE.WESTERN TOWNS

Deseriptien Of BenfboHnsis GFsye In tili-
aois, Oaee FEr-tradiHg Psst--Day Of
EvaaEeliHe Il Rrcaiied-Wh himsical Lit
IIe streets and HoHses-Ail Of the iuhab-
Hants Are Freneh Canadians-A Fasei-
uatias Repredaetiealof FrcHoh VILLAGE.
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-25
orher ExssllsuI Schemes.

4 eontriyanee has recently been in.
vented ard = noW on the market for ven.
,llating grain 81 transit. az the same time
securing the contents % the car aes5nst
rain. sparks, Gr elnasrs. II can % "A.
taeIea 20 sa ordinary car, and i likely IL
come into general employ nent bs(ore
long Among the precautions adoptes
against cold are packing IN straw OF sa,s.
dust snd heating by sfeam OF stoves
Sometimes on The prsiries. ghel The asrca
nefth Nina j. bloWins. ears lnades ulth
reT!shabis goods are covered ,slth ear,.s
or TIE north side steam = supplied gsore
the locomotive Win bananas ons nasfs \.
OF saopteG y 70 heat the = frig~r4tor ear
% - drsrefs ~ ell stoves remove the
stoves, sas tie fruit aboard quickly. re-