Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1900-11-10

have writhed under the knowledge
thar people thought l was sailing with
the wind, and SO on.
"'YOu run with the hare and hunt
with the hounds. don't you" girl said
to me last week. and, mean as she was
/ understood Just how she thought it
was true And yet | was only follow
ing out the dictates of my abnormal
conscience and trying to be just.
Another girl last week asked me if
the powder on her face showed, and
when | said yes she fairly hated me.
MY conscience didn't allow me to say
no, and 1t never occurred to me until
long aftcrward that | might have
pleasantly brushed off the powder for
her which did show and left the pow
der which didn't show alone without
saying anything at all. Two days ago
my brothers wife asked me what |
thought of her complexion. and be-
cause my conscience compelled me to
tell her the truth she went home with
out bidding me good night or speaking
to me again. She hasn't spoken to me
since, in fact. And things have gone
on after this fashion until | am tired
Of 1t.
when Robert Elsmere' first came
out, it was n point of conscience with
me not to read it, and every one called
me saint and 'prig' until life was a
weary burden. \ week or two ago
some of us We're talking of it, and it oc
Cured to me that 1t was Il point of
conscience not to condemn thing I'M
read. The consequence was that | suf-
fered torturcS on account of diSlocated
religious principles for a whole week.
Then it occurred to me that it was a
point Of conscience not to let anything
shake my faith or interfere. with my
religious stability, and that particular
conscience trouble gave way to an
other. l always have one or more on
hand, as you know"
l did know. | never knew Olivia
when she didn't have a whole Shcaf of
such trials and tribulationS on hand.
l was dying to hear all about the last
new conscience wrench. and she would
not come to the point. | did not dare
to hurry her for fear of never hearing
of it at all.
"When my friends and relatives make
fun of DclSarte exercises or the new
est form of athletics. my relentless
conscience always impels me to try
these things personally. just so that |
can discuss them intelligently and
without prejudice. In consequence I'm
seldom without backache or Il sprain-
ed muscle or something equally pleas
ant. Let n politician. n private indi-
vidual, n cause or anything else. for
that matter, become unpopular, and
my tyrannical conscience compels me
to champion it or him or them. AS a
result half the people | know are con-
tinually writing me down as miser-
ably disputatious and dsagreeable per-
SON
Which was putting the matter entire
ly too strong. But then that's Oliva's
way. It's a point of conscience with
her to make the worst of herself for
fear she should be untruthfully COM
plimentary..
Its always been So" she moaned
now, beginning to sob little. but
now It's worse than ever. Now
"If you don't come out with it now"
I broke in unable to restrain my impa
thence much longer. II shall go stark,
staring. raging, raving mad and either
kill you or myself. Now
"Now." said Olivia, breaking down
utterly and crying as though her heart
would break. ''now Charley and Harry
have both proposed to me. They did it
n month ago. l put them both on pro-
baton because liked them both, and
1t was point of conscience with me
to treat them both just alike and fairly.
although | can't help saying that l
really like Harry little bit the better,
and now they both accuse me of fiirt-
ing. and neither Of them will speak
to me at all. And it's all because my
unfortunate conscience won't let me
alone"
"Well. denrie. there's one recompense
anyhow" l volunteered consolingly
when l had comforted her by promis-
ing to set matters right with the one
she ''llkcd little bit the best" "Peo-
pie can't help respecting any one who's
so intensely conscientious and so very
much in earnest about 1t rs you are"
"Oh. I don't know about that" re-
torted Olivia. relapsing into modified
condition Of gloominess again. II
don't know about that at all. OF
course. the men who like you say that
sort OF thing to your face very often.
but they're n great deal likely to call
you n silly little priggsh idiot behind
your back. and the girls one knows
don't even pretend to respect one.
They simply sny you're miserable.
contemplate little prig to try to be so
much better than other folks and that
you make everybody uncomfortable
about you and let it go Mt that. No:
there isn't much comfort in being more
conscientious than other people, and l
sometimes wonder if the best people
In the world, as we'll as the happiest.
aren't the people who have only just
enough conscience to keep them rea-
sonably honest and kind and not too
big an allowance to live comfortably
with"
And really. despite the fact that I
firmly believe irOnclad conscicnces to
be necessary. in great numbers. to the
proper conduct and salvation of this
gay and sinful but altogether adorable
world. ut least In this present day and
generation. it seemed to me that Olivia
had either proved her case or some
thing very like. I don't in the least
know how to rnrOpniIn tbn two ncnoctS