Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-02-10
Ethics Of Hospitality Most Popular
Here.
DUTIES OF HOSTESS and HER AIDS
Some of the Obligations the Cues
Incurs, Too.
THE EFFICIENT HELPE

Special Correspondence of The Evening Star.
NEW YORK, February s, 1900.
The entertainment of the season which is
rapidly waning has been and is the tea,
and long course Of them leads one into
reflections on the manner in which they
should be conducted, and more especially
the manner in which one should conduct
oneself at them.
OF course we all know how they come
about and what preparation is made for
them, the cards inclosed In little envelopes
which reach one in shoals just now, and the
cards one incloses in another envelope and
forwards on the eventful day if one is not
to be present in person. We all know how
the hostess looks how We would look as
the hostess, the manner of daintily pre-
pairing the table and the pretty or lively
girls one is supposed to have serving the
various edibles. All this Is more familiar
to Washingtonians than to New Workers.
for in the former city women of certain
official position have before them the duty
on certain afternoon of every week of
shaking hands with many. if not more
people as ever enter the doors of New
fork palace on the evening of an exclusive
ball.
But to begin with the hostess. some
times wonder II she thinks she has done
her full duty when she has shaken hands.
could possibly be expected of her, although
the cards which came bidding one to her
function were In her name, and her hand
writing was on the envelope. She might.
when she knows every one who appears,
have word for each, and in the intervals
of arrivals she should keep an eye on the
pace OF the game, see that people are not
standing disconsolately in corners as long
as she has a moment at her disposal. But
We won't be hard on her. poor dear, her lot
Is not happy one, and she generally
emerges much the worse for wear.
Then. there are the girls who assist"
who are so effustve when their own par
tcular friends come in, who forget all about
serving women If a man appears, and who
absolutely have to be asked for tea, coffee.
or whatever their particular refreshment
may be. by any one who has not an init
mate acquaintance with them. 1 really be-
lieve they are responsible for half the dull
teas to which one goes. 1t is SO depressing
to be greeted in so Indifferent a way at
function to which one has possibly sacri-
feed some intimate pleasure to attend. 1
came to the conclusion the other day that
hcstesses were too anxious to secure pretty
girls or girls whose social positions were
above reproach to remember that good
nature and courtesy are the prime requi-
sites in one who will have to serve things
to raft of people for at least three hours
There Are Some Here.
I saw a girl the other day who will be
looked upon kindly by the recording angel
for some months on account of her con-
duct at a small tea There was punch.
which was rare in New York. where the
best taste has decided that either choco-
late or tea, with perhaps dainty sand
witches and cakes, is all that Is necessary
at afternoon affairs. This particular young
woman did not. conflne herself to her min
istrations at the punch bowl proper, but
in quiet intervals went about to assure her
self that none Of the older women who sat
against the wall went without little glass
of the gay beverage which loosens tongues
and delights palates.
Then. there is the obligation of attend
ing teas. One always laughs about 1t.
Sensible women rebel against the time
given to 1t, but what would you? If you
are under obligations to a woman, IL you
owe her a call, or IL you like her, what
right have you to stay at home? The
chances are that you would accept her in
vitation with alaerity II it were for a din
ner or q dance and there is a sense Of OBJ
legation and duty-or~ there should bein
social as well as moral affairs If she is
your dearest friend. rise and go IL you are
on q sick bed. For although she might re-
place you at dance ora dinner the chances
are no one will do for her what you will
do at her afternoon tea
For the real object of a tea Is to see ones
friends for a few moments, to have them
meet ones other friends, and to have It all
succeed by being bright and jolly. There
fore. the more the merrier, and more es-
pecially the more OF the right sort-those
VINO Will THROW ASIDE 1Ofmallty and all
fears Of making acquaintance whom they
may not wish, to keep and will eat and be
merry. forgetting the ending of the proverb.
Here's the Duty of Il.
After YOU have made up your mind to go.
because you lovesyour hostess. first, or.
secondly. for any Of the other very good
reasons advanced. consider seriously wheth-
or you are a desirable guest Sometimes
one has friends whom one dearly loves who
are not at all of the social world. or who
never cultivated the gentle art of making
conversation. If you belong to that class
go by all means, 1t 10 your duty: but
after you have shown yourself, left your
card and reiigiously swelled the number
q visitors. HE yourself away sGain- Who