Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1900-09-26


"Yes, sir, $70," replied the landlady
us she moved about uneasily.
"While it is only trifle," continued
the major as he looked the bill over
again, cit should be paid and the books
! balanced-that is, If there is any
thing coming to you 1t should be paid
at once; il there is anything coming to
me I'll give you 80 or 60 days to square
up"
But how can there be anything COM
ing to youY protested the landlndy.
I'VE can't tell until we have figured.
My dear woman, my treasure Of IL
landlady, let me say at the very outset
that am perfectly satisfied with your
| table, and as for my room kings have
had far worse. If you will kindly go
over the past in your memory you will
admit that have not made one single
kick; satisfied, my dear woman, per-
| fectly satisfied"
/! "Then the bill is all right?"
perfectly all right-couldn't be bet
ter. Let me see. When l organized
the Universal Hand Organ trust let
| you in on the ground floor for $4,000
worth of stock, believe. That stock
ought to have given you dividends OF
at least $4,000 u year"
| But 1t didn't, major. The whole
thing busted up, you know"
.Ah, remember. 1t was not bust
up, but the Hand Organ trust was con-
solidated with the Great American
hntiblizzaEd syndicate. I haven't the
books here, but If my memory serves
me right presented you with 100000
worth of stock. If your annual income
from that stock has reached the sum
| of $1O,OO0-if you have been enabled
to purchase
But I never saw any stock" pro-
tested the landlady. "You said some
thing about 1t one day, but week
later you claimed that you had dropped
the scheme for better thing. You
owe for ten weeks"
"Let me see," unused the major-"let
me see. Did drop the Hand. Organ and
| Antiblizzard trust for surer thing?
| All, 1t comes back to me! Yes; We let
| go of 1t to take up and push to success
the International Nursing Bottle mo-
| popoly. Object was to control the man
ufacture and sale of all the nursing
4 bottles in the world. Any mother who
refused to buy one of our bottles had
to feed her infant from a trough. Each
and every one of our bottles was pro-
yided with q squirt gun, and when the
Infant wasn't filling up on milk he was
squirting Mt flies and developing his
craftsmanship. That monopoly was
capitalized at $5O,OO0,OO0, believe.
You were let In on the ground floor.
AS my landlady took you in first of
all My dear woman, If your dividends
on that stock
"But haven't had any. That was
another of your schemes that busted"
The major looked at her for q mo-
ment in doubt and perplexity. but then
his face cleared, and, reaching for her
hand, he shook 1t heartily and exelaim-
ed:
MY dear woman, what a business
head you have on your shoulders
what head! 1t is no wonder that
your landlord never has to come twice
for his rent and that the fame of your
table has spread abroad through the
/, land. Let me assure you that am not
only satisfied with everything up to
date, but mean to continue on with
u you Indefinitely for years and years."
But you must pay. can't run my
= house unless my boarders pay"
SWhile perfectly assured that the IN
ternational Nursing Bottle monopoly
would pay 20 per cent dividends" said
the major as he walked about, 1--WE de.
cided to drop it for a better thing You
must know the difference between %
and 40 per cent profit = you surely
must"
"Of course do.'
"Then l needn't go into details. You
will see at once why we went into the
, Physical PickandAx Handle syndicate
1t was the difference between 20 and
40 per cent That organization was
. perfected only three days ago, and !
have seized the earliest opportunity TIC
talk with you about it. You are to
come in on the ground floor. When
Major Crofoot gets hold Of good
thing, he remembers his friends. Not
only have you as my landlady fed and
lodged me on the best In the land
but
: But you are behind ten weeks" she
!, put in.
But my dear woman, you did moi
stop there. You showed your confidence
in my integrity by allowing my indebt
; edness to accumulate until 1t has final
ly reached the figure Of $40. Where
can such another landlady be foundi
Who will point me out another such
case of financial confidence? But you
shall be rewarded. People who repose
i trust in Major Crofoot cast their bread
upon the waters to have it returned
20 times over. You will remember
) that this is an interview Of my owl
seeking. Had l not sought 1t you
would have let the bill run on fol
weeks and months yet"
mo, Wouldn't" exclaimed the wo
man. 1--WE been trying to catch 70,
' for the last two weeks"
But l sought the Interview, GO
renely continued the promoter. 81
r brought about this meeting in order
, that we might balance the books. NJ,
: dear woman, you are n stockhoder In
T. the Physical Pick and AK Handle trust
: You are in on the ground floor. have
: set aside for you $4,000 worth Of stoch
= at 10 per cent of its face value. That's
$1,000. You know how 1t is when a
man strikes blow with pick or az
Z He grunts. We make all our handles
9 hollow. They do the grunting and save
t the mans vitality-makes the labor II
t per cent easier, and every laborel
8 wants to work II hours per day. In
: six months we Shall be supplying the
i world-profit of 10 cents in every han.
die and 1,OOO,O00,OoO used every year.
/, But this ten weeks bill3' she in,
t sisted.
Eyes, we now come to the bill. Your
: ground a90r stock comes to $1,000