Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1900-07-12


back stairs and ont through the
kitchen door. Then l went to the
corner of the house and said, 'Hello!'
in sort of whispered shout. l never
knew l could frighten anybody before
but my salutation certainly had that
effect on my burglar. He dropped
from about the 18th round Gu the
ladder to the ground with what the
newspapers call "dull, sickening
thud."
"What do yer want?" he asked,
after he had recovered his breath.
81 just want to be friendly" |
answered, advancing toward him.
'I'm burglar myself, and 1 thought
we might just as we'll join forces, you
know. / had just effected an entrance
when you came up. l heard you and
feared we might disarrange each
OF hers plans"
"Humph' sail he. 'sYou don't
look much like burglar. But you're
no softy if you can get into house
sooner than 1 can. Have you ever
done time?"
Just been released from 90 years
in Sing Sing" I answered. But l
was glad it was dark, for l am only 30
years old, and l might have looked
too young to suit the story.
"Whew" he remarked. "You must
be corker," 1 nodded a dignitiel
assent to this.
Come ong," said I, eve will go
in by the door,
That's dangerous" be answered.
"There are people in the house, aren't
there?"
"There were lots Of them," re-
plieded, but I've scared them away. >"
"How'd you do it?" he asked in an
awed manner
"Made believe I was a ghost" 1
answered.
"Say, pard, you're jim Dandy,
said my burglar with enthusiasm. SIS
there any stuff in the house?"
'I've located lots of it," | replied.
There's money, solid silver, jewlery,
silk dresses, half pie, an autograph
album everything yon can imagine"
SAY, you're a chief" said my bur
glar. "rll follow you anywhere and do
a. luiHS Sou Say.
l may make long story short by
aging that my bold demeanor and
apparent professional skill completely
captivated him. He was both
astonished and delighted at the brave
manner in which [ entered rooms,
tripped up and down stairs, lighted
lamps and ransacked bureau drawers
and closets. Moreover he was amazed
at my knowledge OF the interior of
the premises and the whereabouts of
the valuables. He sad he recognized
in me an expert com pared with whom
he was a veritable tryo. He hazarded
many Suesses as to my professional
name, and admired me all the more
for declining to ''g.ve myself away"
as he termed it. IN the end he fol-
lowed me around like dog and
obeyed every instruction l gave him
unquestioningly.
| had succeeded admirably so far
in my plan, as you will observe, but
how to complete the affair was a diff.
cult matter. | knew Maria would be
home bright and early and | would
have to get rid OF my new found
friend before she arrived if | hoped
for any peace and comfort for al least
the ensuing year. My burglar hal
become SO devoted to me that | was
sure he would follow me wherever |
went, so there was no use in trying to
leave the house.
After proving to the satisfaction of
my burglar that there was no one in
the mansion, | finally hit upon the
plan OF inviting him to spend the
night and take an early breakfast with
me before we departed. He was
charmed with the idea, aud declared
that ii l could risk it he could. SO
We went to sleep side by side in my
own bed. | could have killed him a
100 times during the night if | had
not been so afraid OF the rear end of
my gun. | had got the gun as ''boot"
in horse trade and there is no tell
ing how anything viii kick that YOU
get in horse trade. So l let him
sleep peacefully on, even after | had
risen myself, chopped the days wood
and prepared breakfast.
We were just sitting down to the
meal when Maria appeared on the
scene of action. 1t would grieve me
even at this late day to describe the
manner and language OF my good
wife on seeing me entertaining a visi-
tor, as it were. Suffice 1t is to say
that she gave me dressing down that
scared my burglar into a hasty depar-
ture. He was Influenced, l have no
doubt, by my own change in de-
New York Herald.