Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1900-10-03

Handel II said to have had 0uch -
appetite that ON one occasion he order
ed dinner for three ct hotel and pre-
sented himself alone to enjoy It 'Shall
serve dinner, sir, or wait for the com
pany?" said the waiter. "Oompanyr'
said Handel, wat companyf I an "a
company; serve re dinner, prestissfmo.' y
DIR. Macnamars, noted ex-teache1
Of England, once asked boy IN . rural
school the definition Of the word pill
GRIM" "a PILGRIM" answered the boy
''is a man who travels from place to
place" II do that" said tho inspec-
tor; "am I q pNgrimT The answer
came: NO, sir: a pilgrim IL 4 good
man."
In his Lighter Moments" the late
Bishop Walsham How tells Of lady. q
great admirer Of a certain preacher,
who took Bishop Magee with her to
hear him, and asked him afterward
what he thought Of the sermon 1T
was very long" the bishop said "Yes,"
said the lady, ''but there was saint in
the pulpit" And a martyr IN the
pew, E0JO1u0O Tue Ul8uOH.
Not long ago Senator Hoar, whe u
aoted As an mveterate punster. was
Joined in the corridor Of the Capitol by
a former colleague in the Senate. and
as they approached the entrance to the
Senate chamber Mr.. Hoar motioned his
compantoa to pass In first. "After
you" sa3d The Ex-senator, drawing
back politely. mo, indeed" retorted
Senator Hoar; Tho KS always go be
fore the w1Se"
A soldier Of the Twentieth Kansas
tells this stoce At the expense Of a
fellew-soad3er: when we were sent
out On The firing line, Pete Hogan was
lying bsA4nd q tree, out Of the way of
bullets. All at once he yelled out like
q wild man, Captain, l cannot stand
these darned ants biting me all the
time" Zip! A bullet passed close to
his body. On second thoughts, cap
tain,' he yelled, 7 can stand them"
Charles Macklin, the noted English
actor, was on one occasion boasting of
the perfection Of his memory, declaring
that he had 20 trained 1t that he would
undertake to recite anything upon once
hearing II. Samuel Foote offered him
the following sentences as a test, a test
to which he proved unequal: $50 she
went into the garden to cut a cabbage
leaf to make an apple pie; and at the
same time a great she-bear coming up
the street pops Its head into the shop.
What! no soapT So he died, and she
very imprudently married the barber.
md the Joblilies, and the Garynlies, and
the Grand Panjandrum himself. with
the little round button a t top; and they
all fell to playing the game Of catch-as-
catch-can till the gunpowder ran out Of
the heels of their boots-
A determined lady from the West
Visited Washington, d. O., not long ago,
for the purpose Of interviewing a men,
ber Of the cabinet on a subject Of in
terest to her. She called, as 1t hap
pened. just at the time when the frauds
In the Cuban postal department were
made public. and the majority of the
Presidents advisers, absorbed in con-
sidering the matter. had given instruc-
tons that they were not to be disturb
ed 80 you refuse to take my card to
the Secretary" asked the determined
lady of the messenger 1T would be
against my orders. and don't dare to-"
replied the messenger, politely. The
visitor turned away in high dudgeon,
but happy thought occurred to her,
and she reraced her steps. Here, my
man." she said, insinuatingly, here is
Atty cents; now will you take my card
In" I'm paid a bigger salary than
that to keep your card out madam"
responded the darkey, shaking his
head.