Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-03-24
THE JOBSONS' NElGHBORS

|. New neighbors, eh?'' said Mr.. Jobson
the other morning as he paused on the steps
of his house before setting off for his office
and nodded toward the furniture vans
backed up to the curb of the new house on
the left that had only recently been COM
pleted.
$50 I observe" said Mrs. Jobson. Then
Mr.. Jobson went on down town about his
business.
When. he came home that afternoon he
had it all made UP for Mrs. Jobson.
Met the new neighbors, of course. by
this time?" said he to Mrs. Jobson almost
as soon as he had hung his hat and coat
on the rack.
Wei, l haven't been in
Not met them yet" exclaimed Mr.. job
son in well-simulated tones of surprise
why, that's funny! 1 expected to find
them here for dinner when L got home.
Not losing your neighborly grip on any
thing, are you, Mrs. Jobson?"
Now, you know that
We'll. well, well!'' said Mr.. Jobson, "a
whole eight hours have passed since the
vans of the new neighbors' truck hove to
on the horizon, and you haven't got real
chummy and thick with EN- yet! l hope
you're not ailing, Mrs. Jobson?'
'P. ease don't be rid
Anyhow, if l didn't find them all here
at dinner, l surely thought you'd be in
there on terms of unbendable friendship
with the female boss of the house when
got home Why, aren't you wasting valua-
BILE time? SupDoSing they find they don't
like the house tomorrow morning, say, and
move away, and there you'll be-you won't
have known them, and had 'em running in
here in sets of tours when l wanted to
read my paper. and
III you'll only let me"
But Mr.. Jobson wasn't doing any letting.
He had the whole thing all thought out and
rehearsed, and he didn't want to overlook
any chances.
s'Thought Id find the young ladies of the
new famly-are there any young ladies'
in here, anyhow he broke in. telling you
how they were going to have their new
spring foudrds made. or asking your adj
vice about their pin-headed beaus. Can't
be possible that you haven't already sue
ceeded in inspiring them with confidence,
and learned the whole history of their
lives from their own lips a dozen times
over can it? Has the lady at the head of
the new plant next door touched you up for
a little snip of tea, until the twelve pounds
she has ordered from the grocers comes,
yet? Not leaned over the back fence and
asked you for the loan of your fiat-rons,
you say, yet? Why. you really can't like
your new neighbors Mrs. Jobson.''
You know perfectly well that m not in
the hab-''
Did I understand you to paradoxically
say that their dining room furniture was
a sight and not fit to be SEEM" inquired
Mr.. Johson. enjoying himself right smart.
on well. you can gradually lead up to the
point. you know, where you cajole the
lady chief of the outfit into bulldozing her
husband into buying new dining room fur
niture, you know. That'll be easy. DIE
say that She taught you new kind of
t&tting this morning? No? Oh. thought
BY the way. if We've simply got to go in
as well have the girl press my evening
coat-its Wrinkled. There's thing.
though-all the rest of our neighbors for
four blocks around in all directonsll be
jealous, won't they, if you pay this new
bunch so much attention from the go-off,
Did L understand you to say that one of
the young sons of the family is an idiot.
and that the mother wears a false front?
No? Well, / thought
How fond you are becoming of the sound
of your own
Did the lady who runs the new plant
tell you that great sorrow rests on her
life by reason of the fact that her husband
is so lacking in regard for the higher and
nobler that he eats lemon meringue pie
dinner and SHORES? She didn't tell you
that yet, Ell? Oh, but she will, though
Give her time. S'pose you told her that
your man didn't care much about Nirvana
and Delsarte and reincarnation and the in
fuence of environment and tiddledywinks.
either. Ell? That's a great sorrow on your
life, too, isn't it? Tspose You told them
how to hang the pictures up Ell? And told
en- all about the rest of the people on the
block-whom to cultivate and whom to
knock? Did you say anything while you
were in there about that perfectly lovely
family that moved in three doors to the
right, that you got on terms of indissoiubie
thickness with twenty minutes after the
last moving van had moved off. and that
you got sore on and decided wouldn't do in
side of three or four days? Didn't mention
anything about that crowd, Ell? Did you
tell EN- about that other delightful couple
who moved into the neighborhood last fall,
the feminine unit of which you tod me
the first day after you met her was the
most abused and iovable thing that ever
hit up concrete pavement-the one that
came In here every evening and told US
how N. G. her husband was-a man that
I've since found out was a mighty good fell
low? Didn't touch upon that neighbor
Ell? Didnf-'
when you through 1 will
and I'll be bound you didn't mention the
old beldame across the street who's got
her once pretty daughter worn to a fragile
with her fendish temper and her Infamous
tongue? No? Well. what's the use Of hay
ing neighbors, Mrs. Jobson. If you're never
going to get acquainted with them, I'd like
to know? Anyhow, need to have a whole
lot more fussy and garruous women neigh
bors running in here and-er-chewing the
rag when I'm trying to find out what's the
news of the day in the paper and shifting
disapprovingly over my tobacco smoke, and
looking at me as if they wished I was up
on the roof or down in the cellar or some
where, and
| Mr.. Jobson,'' said Mrs. Jobson, 81
| haven't as yet, as told you, called on the
new neighbors next door, but L have no
doubt they will. as you said. ask us in to
see them tonight or run in themselves"
"They will, hey?" said Mr.. Jobson, his
| jaw dropping. well. I knew you were
| quick in this neighbor business. Mrs. job
son, which is what I've been trying to get
at, but this is the record. This is the
YES" interrupted Mrs. Jobson. II guess
| we'll see them tonight without doubt. It's
your sister and your sisters husband and
| family that have moved in next door, you
| know. They got tired of the Hill. and they
decided last week to take the new house
next to us and surprise you. So that you
| have really wasted lot of good. e-giving
| breath. haven't you. my dear?'
| We'll, maybe I have been doing q mono
| logue stunt without exact data to base 1t
| on" admitted Mr.. Jobson, sheepishly.
O'MalIey's Haversack.