davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
The Judges AFFIDAVIT.

Some years ago Justice of the Peace
Beasley of Missouri was personally in
terested in a lawsuit, being party
thereto. 1t was necessary for him to
make an affidav /, and he deprecated
the idea of making it before another
Justice or notary and depriying him
self Of fee. So he filed out his aft
davit, swore to it before himself, sign
ed it as justice and as witness and
awaited developments. He was sure
that he would win and thus be able to
tax the costs up to the other side.
When the case came up before Judge
Kelley, the affidavit was offered in evil
dence and promptly objected to, the
reason being given that justice could
not swear himself.
'Let me see the affidavit" said Judge
Kelley.
1t was handed up to the judge, who
scanned it carefully for a few mo-
ments and then asked:
"Mr. Beasley, will you kindly tell me
how you appeared before yourself
when you swore yourself and identified
your own signature?"
'"That was very easy, your honor"
replied Beasley. 81 borrowed a look
ing glass and went through the formali-
ties before it."
Beasley was somewhat astonished
when Judge Kelley sustained the OBJ
jection.-Omaha World-Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
An Awful Mishap.

Two passengers on an Atlantic liner,
one an American and the other an Eng
lishman, did not exchange the farewell
cOurtesies when the steamer reached
her pier usual between voyagers who
have occupied adjoining staterooms
and hobnobbed during an ocean voy-
age. A plausible explanation was
vouchsafed by the American.
During the voyage the Englishman
persisted in fraternizing with the
American in a most obtrusive and an,
noying manner. Within two days OF
Boston the Englishman one morning
hunted up the American and found him
in apparent dependency, gazing sea.
ward from the hurricane deck.
"Confounded blue this morning, old
chap. What's the matter" And the
Britisher slapped his companion on the
back.
Matter enough" growled the Amer
lean. "Ship's lost; captain don't know
which way to steer. Forgot to wind
the compass last night"
The Englishman listened with mouth
agape, then rushed off to tell his friends
of the consequential mishap. Evident,
ly the gullible Britisher was pushed
along" for some time until he found
everybody guying him.-Boston Post.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
School Notes.

The lenses for the B Botany class have
come and the class is now prepared fol-
good work in their Botany.
The Longfellow literary society will
give the regular tri-weekly program
which was published two weeks ago in
these columns, tomorrow The public
is invited to attend.
The class reception which the Juniors
gave to the Seniors, was held last Tues
day evening at the home of Russell Mott
Being the eve Of st. Valentines day,
matters of the heart were given unusual
prominence. The decorating committee
had been busy with the red and green
class colors of the Seniors and the blue
and white Of the Juniors, and the rooms
presented a charming appearance.
Ropes and festoons Of blue and white
bunting from which red and green hearts
in unlimited numbers dangled and
danced, ornamented each arch and door
way. The curtains were all spangled
with red and green hearts. In each
room, red and green hearts were sus-
pended from every point and corner.
The fortune teller's tent in blue and
white was covered with red and green
hearts put on in mysterious sevens and
| thirteen 8. A number Of shadow pictures
| of students and teachers had been taken
and posted up in various parts of the
the house and with pencils and pure
white hearts the guests mingled to-
gether, wondering, surprising, guessing.
Lavisa Overholtzer was the only one
who got every one right and she re.
ceived handsome box of stationery as
her reward. Mr.. Wilson entertained the
company with some Of his hypnotizing
exhibits and the girls had their fortunes
told. A few of the-young men also
dared to question the future and much
excitement prevailed. Broken hearts
with the typical blue and white bows
went seeking mates for supper. In the
dainty refreshments the persistent heart
appeared in the sandwiches and candy,
and the blue and white in the ice cream.
Elegant frappe was served during the
entire evening A valentine box was
opened to the music of FACILITATING
hearts and some elegant creations in
that line distributed. The occasion was
one which the classes participating will
not soon forget. 1t touched their hearts.
The following are the names of the two
classes: Seniors, Wren Graham, Lavisa
Overholtzer, Mable Hayes, Taressa Stan.
ton, Clarence hingedecker, Jessie Luse,
Arletta Vail, Edna Webster, Harvey
Delahoyde Cappa Matthias, Mary Smith,
Grace Miller, Don Drake, George Nc
Farlane, Alma Oelke, John Lohner,
Nora Hunt. Juniors, Aubrey Herndon,
Earl Maharg, May Hunt, Gay Thomas,
Eleanor Ohm, Ruth Anderson, Charlie
johnson, Wilmer Hester, George Oeke,
Russell Mott Mae Hoover, Mildred
Smith, Ethel Kuhn, Edith Lane.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
STREET PARADE FLOATS.
Many Difficult Problems to BE Met In
Their Construction.

Many Difficult Problems to BE Met In
Their Construction.
1.-THE making Of decorative street
floats is a difficult trade" said New
Orleans scenic artist who has had
plenty of experience in the line he men,
toned. There are so many things
to be considered. For instance, a float
must look well both near and far. 1t
must be able to stand dash of rain.
1t must be light enough to go over any
kind of street and solid enough to re-
sist a gust of wind, and, most impor-
tant of all, 1t must be SO constructed
that it will appear all right to folks in
upper windows.
'Some years ago young designer
from the north made several small
models for tableau cars that charmed
everybody who looked at them. They
were certainly very beautiful and nov
ell, but when I was called in as an ex-
pert said at once that they wouldn't
do. They were designed to be viewed
from the banquette only, and from a
second story window every particle Of
effect would have been lost. More
over, a lot of hidden mechanism was
certain to be discovered at any eleva-
ton above 10 feet.
"The young artist frankly admitted
I was right and abandoned the job.
He said it involved entirely too. many
optical problems to suit him. When 1
make my drawings for float, 1 cal
culate on visual sweep Of 80 de-
grees. That goes from the level Of
children on the pavement to people
looking almost straight down from the
upper floors of tall buildings. Unless
such precaution Is taken the car is
certain to be failure. New Orleans
Times Democrat.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
An Editors Life Saved by Chamber
iains cugh RENE dy.

Daring the early part of October,
1896, l contracted bad cold which
settled on my lungs and was neglected
until l feared that consumption had
appeared in an incipient state. 1 was
constantly coughing and trying to ex-
pei something which could not. /
became alarmed and after giving the
local doctor trial bought a bottle OF
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy and the
result was immediate improvement,
and after l had used three bottles my
lungs were restored to their healthy
state.--B. S. Edwards, Publisher OF
The Review, Wyant, Ill. For sale by
A. II. Roberts, druggist.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
He knew PIayfafr.

The manager of the phosphate mine
was Scotchman, tall, big boned, with
the strongest Glasgow Doric in his
tongue. At first he vas obdurate and
desired us to leave the ground and to
drop the specimens which we had
taken before he appeared. At last
addressed him in good Scotch and ask
ed him whether he thought l was a
mining adventurer. "Aye, that's just
what we are"
"No," replied, 81 am a Scotch pro-
fessor."
"Then, if We are, yen be havin a
name"
my name" said, sis Playfair."
Man." said my Scotch friend, care
We Lyon Playfair?"
/ assured him l was, but expressed
surprise that he knew the name, to
which he replied, looking from his G
feet inches with compassion on my
feet inches, "Hoot, mon, yer names
travelled farther than yer wee legs will
ever carry ye."-"Letters Of Lyon Play
fair"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
Caught the Gar.

Peter the Great was once very neatly
caught in trap by jester attached
to the court. The jester was noted for
his cleverness in getting himself and
his friends out of difficulties. 1t hap
pened one day that cousin of his had
incurred the cars displeasure and
was about to be executed. The latter
therefore presented himself before his
imperial majesty to beg for reprieve.
On seeing him approach, the car, di-
vining his errand, cried: ut is no good
to come here. swear I will not grant
what you are going to ask"
Immediately the jester went down
on his knees, saying, Il beseech your
imperial highness to put that scamp
cousin Of mine to DEATH"
The car, thus caught in his own
trap, could only laugh and pardon the
condemned man.-Columbiau.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
COOKERY IN BOLIVIA.
The National Dish, Chupe, and How
1t Is Prepared.

~
Tie stoves of the Bolivian Indians
are curious things. A hole is dug in
the ground about IS inches deep and a
foot square, and over this is built
roof of clay with holes of different
sizes to receive the various cooking
pots. Roasting is done on spits pass.
ed through the holes, so that the meat
comes out very much smoked unless
great care is taken to have only live
Goals at the bottom Of the oven.
The national dish and the common
food of the masses is "chupe," a sort
a conglomerate, composed Of irregular
constituents from the animal and vege-
table Kingdoms, mess of mutton and
such other meats as are available;
chicken, fish, fruits, potatoes, carrots,
barley, corn, rice, onions, yams, ETC.,
chopped up, highly seasoned with pep
pers and herbs and stewed to a con-
sistency of porridge. What happens
to be left from one meal SINNERS in
the pot until the next. If the fire goes
out, the "chupe" is allowed to COOL
but 1t is warmed up again and a new
supply Of the ingredients added to the
water logged and greasy stuff for the
next meal.
In the cities, at the hotels and res
taurants where there are French or
Swiss cooks. the "chupe" is savory and
palatable, but the farther you go from
the centers of civilization the worse it
gets. One eats it at first under pro-
test, then from necessity and only to
escape starvation, but finally the stom-
ach rebels, and you limit your diet to
boiled eggs and fruit, which are usual
ly to be obtained, but the experienced
traveller always takes canned meat ard
bread with him.-Sucre (Bolivia Let
ter to Chicago Record.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
Have You the GOuts

The following cure for the govt Is
taken from an old work: First, the
person must pick handkerchief from
the pocket Of a maid of so years who
has never had a wish to change her
condition.; second, he must wash it in
an honest miller's pond; third, he must
dry it on a parsons hedge who was
never covetous; fourth, he must send
it to a doctor who never killed pa
tient; fifth, he must mark it with a
lawyers ink who never cheated a
client; sixth, apply to the part affected,
and q cure will speedily follow.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
Resolutions.

Audubon, Iowa, February 14th 1900.
Whereas, Representative BOysen of Audubon
county has brought bill before the Legis allure
OF Iowa, touching petitions for establishing
saloons in Iowa. Therefore the WOmans
Christian Temperance Union passed the follow
ing resolutions
RESOLVED, That we protest against this bill
as being against the best interests OF the State
OF Iowa and County of Audubon as it tends to
make easier the establishing of Salo ons by the
odium attending the signing of public petition,
also,
RESOLVED, That copy of these resolutions
pc printed IN the county papers and copy sent
to Representative BoySen.
Signed
MRS. T.. A HURD, Pres.
MRS. +. nj. BELKNAP
MRS AGNES COLE
Mrs. F. E. TALBOT.
MRS. DELLA OFT, See.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
Excursion Rates to the Tlardi Gras
and Winter Resorts,

Via the North. Western Line. On ac-
count Of the Mardi Gras at New Orleans
and Mobile, excursion tickets will be
sold February 10 to %, inclusive, at very
low rates, limited for return passage
until March Is. Excursion tickets are
a'so on sale daily, at reduced rates, tc
the principal winter resorts in the
United States and Mexico For full
information apply to ticket agents Che
ago Il North Western R'y. CIV
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
Public Sale.

The undersigned having sold their
farm vii sell at public auction at the
farm one-half mile south of Audubon
county court house, on
TUESDAY. FEBRUARY 20, .
l65 head cattle consisting iof .16O steers
coming and years old-these steere
are all Iowa cattle and OF extra good
quality and in fine condition, 2 mich
COWS, | fresh; three heifers. 9 head of
horses consisting of head work horses.
No. driving or saddle horse, 3 yr
old colt, 3 yearlingicolts. 38 head Jer-
sey Duroc hogs consisting OF Is sows
bred, ten month old boar, 6 fall boars,6
fall sows-these hogs are from some of
the most noted herds in Iowa and are
either recorded or eligible to record.
Farming utensils consisting OF / COM
plete set of Acme hay harvesters, l
Mccormick binder, six foot McCor-
mick mower nearly new, ! sulky hay
rake, Brown corn planter with 40 rods
of wire, l disc, Weir riding pillow new,
cultivatOrs, drags, plows, etc, ! lumber
wagon, pair bob sleds, / two seated
light wagon, / cider mill, l thirty foot
extension ladder, sets of work harness,
| single harness, 3 saddles, usual amount
Of small stuff. Free lunch. Implement
sale will commence at 10 a. m.
TERMS Sums of $40 and under cash,
over that amount credit Of ten months
time will be give without interest il
paid when due, otherwise eight per cent
from date, purchaser giving note with
approved security. Six per cent off for
cash.
w. B. DAVIS & Son.
R. N. CARPER. Auctioneer.
j. A. NASH AND FRANK RICE Clerks
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15

81 think I would go crazy with pain
were it not for hamberlain's Pain
Balm, writes Mr.. w. H. Stapleton,
Herminie, Pa. I have been afflicted
with rheumatism for several years and
have tried remedies without number,
but Pain Balm is the best medicine
have got hold Of" One application
relieves the pain. For sale by A. H.
Roberts, druggist.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15

Raven food is positive cure for
chicken cholera, roupe, gapes and all
diseases of poultry. 1t regulates the
bowels, blood, and digestive organs,
produces bone, muscle, and lager
fowl and makes hens lay in winter.
Young chickens will grow rapidly fire }
from disease. Try dollar box and if
not satisfactory money returned. For
sale by Riddlesbarger Il Fay.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15

When woman calls her husband
up by telephone without his knowing
who she is, she is always surprised
to see how politely he addresses her at
first.-Somerville Journal.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15

When the German emperor was at
school at Cassel, he and his brother,
Prince Henry, lodged in an old castle
near, but in the school the two boys
were treated exactly like any other
youngsters. On one occasion, 1t Is re-
lated, MASTER knowing that Prince
William was backward in Greek and
wishing to curry favor with him, told
him secretly what the subject of the
next days examination would be.
Early next morning the prince went
into the classroom and wrote the in
formation on the blackboard in huge
letters, not wishing to have any unfair
advantage over his schoolfellows.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
Half Rates to Natjo nal Butter Max
er's Convention, Lincoln, Neb.,

Via the North Western Line Excur-
sion tickets will be sold at one fare for
the round trip, from all stations. Feb.
ruary II and l8, limited for return until
February %. inclusive Apply to agents
Chicago & North Western R'y. CIV
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15
Honest BOY.

81 am glad there are few honest
people left. Two years ago sent a
boy around the corner to buy a postal
card. I have never seen the boy to
this day"
"You don't call that boy honest"
Eyes, sir. This morning 1 received
postal with this on the back: Dear
Sir-Here is your postal. started in
business with the penny you gave me
and have prospered. Thanks "-Chi-
cagO News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15

Low prices on water tanks, doors
windows and all kinds of mill work. Be-
fore buying elsewhere call on Hart &
Eddy at the Planning Mill. If
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15

See J. r. Carmichael for pianos, plan
olas and organs at Blackman's shoe
sfora. tt.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15

The manufacture Of quinine was be-
gun in Philadelphia by John Farr in
1920. the year of it's discovery.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15

It's all very well for you and Nellie
and Emse to unite in millions Of hugs
and kisses, but please consider the
time it would occupy your poor old
very busy uncle. Try hugging and
kissing Emsie for a minute by the
watch, and l don't think you'll man
age it more than u hours a day. Let
ter of Lewis Carroll.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15

Mark Twain, meeting Charles Guth-
rie, prominent British lawyer, in VI
emma, asked him IL he smoked. Some
times, when am in bad company"
was the reply.
After pause came a second ques-
ton: You're lawyer, aren't you, Mr..
Guthrie"
81 am, Mr.. Clemens"
"Ah, then. Mr.. Guthrie, you must be
very heavy smokerw
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15

r. N. CARPER. Auctioneer.
j. A. NASH AND FRANK RICE, Clerks.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-15


" ~ THE WEEKLY Bee 1924 Farnam.s, Omaha Nebraska
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-09-27
HE Republican Danger.

U 7 SEEMS proper to repeat that
only one thing now appears to
u stand, in the way of Republican
success in November, and that
is overcontidonCc. The mass of Repub-
licans are so busy with their personal
affairs and feel so sure that Mckinley
will win that they are ncglecting most
of the common precautions. on the
other hand, the Democrats are more
united than four years ago. Many
sound money Democrats take the same
view that over confident Republicans
do, and, assuming that Mckinley and
the gold standard are safe anyway,
they consider it personally unnecessary
to step outside their party traces; and
in addition to all this. the success in
life of business men who have aCcumu-
lated wealth and who in the main are
Republicans because the Republican
party is the party of action, is used by
Democratic orators and editors to Gre
ate envy among citizens who have not
succeeded so well. and the very pros
perity which has characterized the
affairs of the nation under the MCKin-
ley administration is thrown against it
in the socialistic argument for an equal
division.
The history of politics shows that it
is much easier to excite popular inter-
est in a campaign year when business
conditions are unfavorable than when
those conditions are favorable. When
our ordinary affairs are going wrong
we concern ourselves with the problem
of finding out what the matter is and
how to apply the remedy. But when
the business we are engaged in is pro-
Ceeding smoothly, with easy collections
and comfortable margins of profit COM
ing in without visible effort, then it
is natural for mankind TO let outside
interests slide, and especially to keep
ouU of active political work or worry
In 1892, after one of the most prosper
GUS administrations in our history
President Harrison was defeated for
re-election-Why? Partly, of course,
because he had alienated influential
members of his own party, a circum-
stdhce NOT Icpcdte'l III the case Oh HfeS-
1dent Mckinley. But more especially
because the business interests of the
country, being prosperous, We're indif-
ferent or apathetic, and also because
strike at Homestead came just in
time to give the socialists a lever to
use on the envious and discontented.
The avidity with which Mr.. Bryan and
all his colleagues are seizing upon the
present anthracite coal strike for a
similar purpose should warn Republl-
cans against a repetition of their fatal
indifference Of eight years ago.
Victory in November, if it comes,
will have to be fought for and won in
the teeth Of desperate opposition. lay
ing down will simply mean defeat
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-09-27
PRESIDENTIAL TICKETS.

From the Chicago TimesIIcrald.
The presidential tickets and the parties nom
mating them as follows:
SOCIALIST LABOR-JAN. q.
Job F. Hartman, Of California. .......,. President
Max S. Hayes, Of Ohio ...........Vice President
SOCIAL DEMOCRACY-MARCH &.
Eugene V. Debs, OF Indiana. President
Job +. Hartman, California.....Vica President
UNITED CIRIsTIAN-MAY l.
Rev s. C.. Swallow, Pennsylvania, .,. President
John G. Woolley, Illinois .........Vice President
PEOPLES PARKWAY Q.
William ], Bryan, Nebraska President
Chas. A. Towne, Minnesota ....,Vice President
MIDDLE OF THE ROAD-May 8,
Wharton Barker, Pennsylvania. a...,.,.,.P President
Ignatius Donnelly, Minnesota. Vice President
DE LEON SOClALISr-MAY 2S.
Jos. F. Maloney, Massachusetts,. President
Valentine Remil, Pennsylvania. Vice President
REPUBLICAN-JUNE 10.
William Mckinley, Ohio .......,...,..P President
Theo. Roosevelt, New York.....,vice President
PROlllbiTl0N--JUNh 2S.
John G. Wooley, illinois .,........... President
H. b. Metcalf, Rhode Island. 90. Vice President
DEMOCRATIC-IULY 4.
William j. Bryan, Nebraska. President
Adlai L, Stevenson, Illinois ....,.Yicc President
SILVER REPUBLICANs-JULY 4,
William j. Bryan, Nebraska ...,...... President
No nominee for ..,.,,..,.,..,,..,Vice President
NATIONAL PARTY-SEPT, J.
Donaldson Nanery President
Archibald Murray Howe...........Y Vice President
UNION REFORM PARTY-SEPT. 8.
seth Ellis MINIMUM. President
). /. Nicholson .,................Nice President
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-09-27
The Publishers Desk.
To the Machinist-
" oU MAY have only little shop and

v QU MAY have only little shop and
enough work for yourself and helper.
Did it ever occur TO you that you could
have three, four or five helpers and make profit
on the work Of every one?
Docs everybody who runs machinery, not alone
here, but in the little towns round about know
that you repair machinery
OF course not, you say.
Does everybody know who runs the biggest dry
goods store in this city2
OF course, because they advertise.
Then, why don't you put up a little sign in
the same pace-the newspaper.
Because it costs too much and couldn't he pro.
itablei
How much will ashalt inch plainly telling
what you do and where you are located, cost
you?
Seventy.fve cents per week, or 37ia cents per
week il published every other day.
No one may have repair work the first week
you advertise, or the second week, or the third
week,
But when something breaks down in Mr. Jones'
place. he's going to send for you, because HE
GETS YOUR CARD EVERY DAY. It's in the
newspaper he reads.
At the end of the year you will have spent
blank dollars.
You will have blank Jobs and your profits on
the little ad which cost you cents will be in
dollars.
You needn't write the ad! Send to us and our
expert will do that for you, aud it needn't be
inserted until it suits you exactly.