The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-12-02
Fun Of the World

John Bright sdmoHished b a daugh-
lei for lack of care of bis Dersoasl a1-
pearance. sad; 1T does noJ matter no
body knows me In London. 50 I can
dress as I like. But you dress just
IS badly IN Rochdale" was Tbs resly
Yes, ms dear: bur in Boca1aIe - cry
body knows me. 50 IL matters stil less
how dress there
An Irishman vas once staroing ia the
streets OF an irish toEn lookiHs on with
great interest ar hght which was TAX
ing place. lie said 70 a gentleman stand
ing near:
sir, can you tell me, IS this free
fight or a faction hsht.
The gentleman replied:
--It is q free fgat
s-Oh," said the Irishmau. and rushing
into the thick Of the .-sy he aealt
with his snHielagh destruction and devas-
tation all around him
x
AT certain review recently nelo,
2omPous member az parliament found
himself on tie outskirts Of huge crowd
Being anxious 20 obtain a good view for
himself and some ladies who sccompa-
MED aim. and presuEning be was vel
known ne tapped a burly cockney. who
was taking day or on she shoulder.
and said in a perempJory tone. Make
way there
Who are yer pushing" replied the
cockney.
DO you know who am. sire said
the indignant statesman u am 81 rep
resentauve Of the people.
earn, That amt nothin'." gr0wled
the man. We're the oloomin people
rhefrsaly-es
az
In a Mississippi town where Charles
b. Hanford was playing he was intro
duced 10 one Of the prominent local poll
ucians. g. candidate for congress az tbs
time.
So you are Private John Allen. he
said genialiy.
Mr. Hanford owned tine soft impeaeh-
ment
Wei. have something 10 drink
i thank you. was the answer. but
never drink anything stronger than
coffee
Then. take cigar."
u am sorry bur Z don't use tobacco g"
Don't drink and don't use tobacco.
Wen. sir its no wonder you remained
a private You'd never do for colonel
or a major in this part Of the country
When Minister WI suite and all was
last in New York CITY ne visited among
other places newspaper Office A. one
81 the desks in the city room sat a NO
man reporter hard at work upon 81
hurry story. She knew nothing Of the
intended visit of the Chinaman. and her
surprise may be imagined when az the
patter Of cushioned feet and the rustic
of silken skirts she looked 40 and saw
planted before her desk twelve smiling
eelestials. Minister Nu ar the head. the
others in Indian file. behind him-his
every gesture and motion being Faith
fully copied by them, just as the chorus
copy the principal en- a Chinese comic
opera. Long and earnestly did Minister
WI smile into the eyes of the woman re-
porter at her desk before him. Then he
deliberately picked up the sheet or
copy" from under her fingers and read
it through Replacing the sheets he re-
sumed gazing into her eyes. Then, with
a smile that showed he was paying her
the highest compliment IN his repertory
and with q fascinating little halt be-
tween each word, WI said. T-do-not-
believe-that-yo u-are-a-wQman You-are-
-man-dressed-in-wo woman s-clothes.
Ia
It was whispered IN washington that
as the Montague Browns were uob as
rich as other members of the smart set
they had TO practice economy where il
did not show But tonight there was GER
tainlv no hint OF economy anywhere.
There were Strawberries, hothouse grown.
and terrapin and canyas-back duck
though both were eXorhtaut in the
market The handsome tablecloth had
Been ruthlessly cut. and through The
opening a cluster Of American beauty
roses. thelr stems on the floor, shot mp
two feet above the table II was--the
most effective table decoration of the
winter
Mrs Montague Brown. young. pretty
and ambitious. smiled a smile of rare
pleasure She reflected complscently that
She had captured "a cabinet officer Tor
this dinner. The conversation was bowl
ing along smoothly ard she leaned for
ward to listen The guest Of honor was
speaking.
And stu T insist that 10 woman can
do society an the time without neglect
Ing her household and children"
"Not at an" smiled Mrs MONTAGUE
"T think 7 can persuade sou to the con-
trarv II voI-' She paueed. observing
that he was staring with wide-open eyes
az the doorway A tiny half-clad figure
stood there.
Mamma Mary's in the Kitchen. and
tan't find my mighty" piped 9foDtague
Brown, Jr-
This excellent story of Joseph cham
berlaln demonstrate lu an amusing man
ner that the innate ounEent humor b.
possesses was cultivated early in bis
career as speaker
when he entered the house Of com