Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-02-13

have sworn that they had witnessed an
act of deviation; they were positive that
they had seen the table floating in the
air. L was amazed, for there could be
no doubt of the sincerity of my friends
How did you know that the table did
not rise in the air?''
My informant broke into q hearty
laugh and replied:
L had one of my legs twisted around
one OF the legs Of the table, and | know
it did not move the millionth part of an
inch. Where men can get into such a
they thought they saw that table in the
air, OF what use is it for anyone to try
and convince them they are laboring un-
der hallucination
The Zulu boy servants are much appre-
ciated in Africa, but they have difficulties
with the English language, says House
hold Words. Their special weakness is
the confusion of the letters ''r' and 81"
As result instead Of saying that
Breakfast is ready" they announce, to
the establishment Of the stranger, BLACK
faced lady, baas." They make excellent
servants. One particularly faithful boy
was always very careful as to whom he
admitted into the house. One day three
visitors called. one Of whom had come
without card. He ushered the first
two into the drawing room, but insisted
on the other staying in the hall. 1.-Two
misses. F" he explained. got ticket; you
got no ticket, you wait outsidei' The
wise boy knew quite well that he himself
wouldn't be allowed in a saloon without
ticket: why. then, should he admit
white ladies?
Young men before entering one of the
principal medical schools of this country
are examined as to their general knowl
edge. One Of the questions given to the
candidates for one Of these schools last
books of the Bible?" OF 120 answers
only FIVE were correct. Among the names
OF books. given were: .Philistines,"
Marcus Aurelius," and ''Epistle to the
Filipinos. Ladies Home Journal.
1T was in the English class" notes
the Louisville Courier-Journal, land Il
new teacher had just been employed.
She was from the North, and called all
yeled greatly. Or the first day the teach
er told her class that she would not give
a regular lesson, but each girl should
write down all the slang she knew and
bring that to the next days recitation.
That was a 'cinch.' Several girls who
possessed brothers and the rest who pos
sessed other girls brothers set them to
the class was called next day there was
not girl who could not show two closely
written pages of slang expressions. The
teacher looked. Very good. she said.
Now translate them into readable Eng
lish.' They haven't fooled with her
since"
G. r. Glenn. superintendent Of public
instruction Of the state Of Georgia, one
day explained the powers of the N-ray
machine to gathering of darkies at a
school commencement. After the meet
ing was over a negro called him aside and
wanted to know if he was in earnest
about the machine. Mr.. Glenn assured
him that he was. BOSS, | wants ter AK
you eff er niger ct chicken kin You look
in him an see chicken?' 'Why, yes,
EphraiIn,' said Mr.. Glenn. We'll, boss,
wants ter ak you one mo- question.
Kin you look in dat Niger an tell whar
dat chicken come from?'
Griggs Why, what's the matter
man?' Briggs-'Proitly called me an
ass, and he called me that right to my
face" Griggs soothingly)-"That's moth
ing. I've heard him call you worse
things behind your back. "-Boston
Transcript.
A resident in the London suburbs no
ticed that his cook had stuck up in her
kitchen a map of South Africa, with the.
British possessions colored red, the
Transvaal brown, the Orange Free State
yellow and Portuguese territory green
DO you take Ell interest in the war,
Nary he asked. NO, SIR replied the
cook, but l mean to ave a skirt like
that brown bit, and blouses like them
other colors; and I'm just keepin' the
map to match the patterns with when /
get u eyenin' off, sirp'
Cassidy (reading)-'sTh' divil. Rooshia,
France, Garminy, Austria and Italy are
hod better atnd to their
own dom business and let the Oirish at
tind to theirs,'-Puck
Couldn't Say It.-Mrs. Rambo ION the
inside Of the front door, bsalom, you
have blen drinking again. Mr. Ram
DO ION the outside)-'No, m dear, ! -"
Mrs. Rambo-"Say Prompt payments
patiently pursued pursued produce prospe+i;ty.
prosued pos" Mrs. Rambo-''Ab salom,
you can go up to your room by way Of
the back door. '-Memphis Commercial
Appeal.
Native-"Yes. that's where the light
house stood, but the big storm last fall
swept it down." Lady visitor-''I don't
wonder. 1t was foolish of them to build
it in such an exposed place" philadel-
phia Record
She-''You say you dreamed Won died
and went up to the door kept by St. Pc
ter?''
He-'Yes: I did"
And didn't it seem very strange to
you?"
No; you see there were half a dozen
women just ahead of me, and they were
asking st. Peter if their hats were on
straight. '-Yonkers Statesman.
-:o:-
Blanche-"Her former football train
ing didn't prove of any use to her. May
-"How's that?" ''Why, she let a mil
lionaire slip through her fingers" -
Brooklyn Life.
JENNY LIND'S GIFT.
Stockh ohm Institution Will Receiv
Thirty Thousand Dollars.