Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1900-03-01

<|s.f.
leaves or the trees turn red In the fall!
Zaneta-- Probably blushing at their
bare Limbs Harlem Life. ngisnrs
Walton--I assure you. sir. that some
OF the best fish stories are never told.
Cation Yes; I suppose fishermen are''
occasionally drowned.-Judge.
what are you going to call your new
Office buildngT II think I'll call 1t
the Serial on account of its continued
stories" Philadelphia Record. .R.te,
There. is one thing can be truly said
of Miss Ogler; she is self-possessed.'
Every, true; but I'll bet you she wishes X
she wasn't Boston Courier. dds
Teacher-What happens when
mans temperature goes down as far
as 1t can do? Smart scholar-He has
cold feet, NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Registersg
Poor old Henpeck leads dogs life
with his wife," swell, why on earth
doesn't he apply for a divorceY He"
saws he wanted to. but she wouldn't let
him."-Philadelphia Press. d.2
Little Mike (who has an inquiring.-
mind)-Feyther, phwere was Solo
mons timple? McLubberty promptly)<
SoIomon's timple, is ut? /. On the soide
av his head. av coorse.-Judge.
Prison visitor-Is there anything that
you think might be improved hereE
Prisoner formerly labor LEADER
Well. yes; the, hours here are too long,
for one thing. Philadelphia Record. 'vT
Maxim-How did Tweeter behave
under fire? Did he shrink? Gatling--
No, / don't know as he shrank; but ne
evidently tried to make himself as
small as he could. Boston Transcript
"How does it happen. doctor. that
we never see you any more with yours
old fame. the rich bankers daughter
..She is married" "Oh married! To
whomY' ",ro me. "-Fliegende "BlaetA
ter N, is-i e''l.r lt43NsAl-
! Nippon-Hear about Clark being ina
railroad accident? Badly hurt, too.
Tuck-WiIl he recover? Nippon-Well.
j don't know; his lawyer says he CAM,
but his doctor says he canlt.-7Town
Topics. Ir,tfu.z
Wifely Constancy.--"I have been
married for fifteen years. and my wife
never fails to meet me at the door.Yd
'"Wonderfulw Yes, she's afraid l :.
might go In without wiping my feet.
Chicago Times-Herald.
''Did you hear me sing Because 1
Love Your, asked the young man
with voice like lathe. II must
have misunderstood murmured Miss
Cayenne. II thought you were singing
because you hated Washington
Star. p .ss3fr,fs r,ieittsxs
Anything to Suit never give mon,
ey to beggars on the street, said the.
pedestrian. "Oh, very well," replied
the seedy individual. heres my card;
kindly call at my office and leave your
contribution with my bookkeeper."
Chicago Daily News 9hlfiu
NO" he complained, 81 have never
succeeded in getting anything for Moth
ing! l have always had to strive hard
for everything that has come to me.
II" "What about the humps you
had last winter?" his wife interrupted.
Chicago Times Herald. ,t a..
Mr.. Pokus-There's the only woman
in this town whose affairs amt Cos
siped about at the SEWN Circle meet
in's. Mr. Citiman-How does she es-
cape? Mr.. Pokus-By good manage.
ment-she alters gifts there ahead Of any
of the rest of ZEN. iis ifi7S
Wife of Patient--I'm so sorry, doctor,
to bring you all the way to Hampstead
TO see my husband. Doctor from May
fair)-Pray don't mention 1t, my dear
madam. l have another patient in this
neighborhood, so I'm killing two birds
with one stonei-Punch. 49,,
THE salary Of the Gar OF Russia
amounts to about $1,000 an hour"
well, I'd hate to have a job of that
kind" "WhyT 1T would break my
heart to have to lay OFF an hour or two
some day and perhaps get docked."-
Chicago Times-Herald "ol
sit seems to me-" said the diplomat.
that there is said to be something to
be said on both sides of this question"
maybe So" answered the Boer gem
eraI. .'But you'll have to get son1e
body else to say it. I'm not talking
these days.p-Washington Star,
Employer-Miss Jimms, have you
any rules for punctuation In your type
writer work? Miss Jimms.- Yes. sir:
of course. Every time ! stop to getimy
breath put in comma: and. always
at the bottom of the page, | make a
period "-Indianapolis Journal. "a
Several women entered the car to-
gether. "Get up" said the fat man to
the thin man. rand give lady your
seat" Fat men always think they are
privileged to remain seated. "Get,up
yourself" retorted the thin man. land
give two, ladies your seat."-Chlcago
Post. M ar
AS he was about to sink for the, third
time he. Of course. recalled everything
in his past life. His countenance fadf
ated with JOY. ''Ahr' he exclaimed;
"since l now remember what II was
my wife told me to get downtown to-
day, have no further occasion to
drown" Accordingly he swan ashore.
Detroit Journal :.
II waited ten minutes for a car. to-
day.. the landlady VIZ saying. aand
then 1t passed me without stopping"
1t was afterward recalled that the
Habitually Silent Man had been hav
ing unusual difficulty with his chor3s.
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