davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
HunlOr.

Fate has been extremely kind to the
Anglican school Of humor.
For Fate had man by the name OF
MIME invent gun, and thereupon the
Anglican school Of humor conceived of
lady visiting an arsenal and asking a
soldier there's
What gun is used the maximum? -
And the soldier, replying
1.-THE MIME, num-
This was believed to be the Hieb
Water Mark of Anglican humor But
no.
Fate went still further and caused n
man by the name of Maxim to invent
gun.
What gun is used the maximum p,
the lady again asked at the arsenal
The Maxim, num- replied the SOL
der.
What, pray, could be more exquisite
ly droll than thls?-Detroit Journal
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
The Betrothed Counle.

To announce an engagement the
young couple write personal notes to
their respective relatives and near
friends, who pass on the pleasant news
to the world at large. The notes often
mention one CT more afternoons when
the young woman will be at home to
receive her friends informally with her
mother. The groom's friends also take
this opportunity of making her &C.
quaintance.
At news Of betrothal, friends hasten
to extend invitations for various festiyi.
ties to the happy pair. and the families
interested exchange Inequalities.
The engagement ring is presented
when the engagement is announced-or
at least 1t is then openly worn, Its choice
depending upon the taste and means OF
the giver.
The engaged man is congratulated,
put one wishes the girl all Happiness.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
THEY WE'RE ALL SCARED.
Case of Highway Robbery with a
Peculiar Ending.

What the hero of this story kicks
about Is the fact that his wife forgot
her sacred word never to say anything
regarding 1t. His business keeps him
out late. and he frequently carries con-
siderable money. When footpads are
reported IN evidence, he gets as near
home as he can by street ear and then
takes the best lighted route TO his
house.
One night lie had reached the front Of
his own place and had just drawn a
long sigh OF relief when the order
Hands upv startled him into compll-
mediate neighborhood OF his ear and
another Systematically robbed him of
everything worth carrying off. The or
der then was that he walk around the
block so as to defer the use of his tele-
phone, and It was clearly stated that
any attempt to turn back, run or call
for help would result In his being
assasslnated.
Before he reached the corner it
struck him that the voice of one of the
men sounded familiar and then that its
owner was Il near neighbor greatly
given to practical joking. Back he
went on tlptoes. his revolver in his
right hand, and surprised the footpads
as they were dividing the spells. He
made them lay everything on the walk,
nnd when they Strengthened up await
ing the next order he discovered that
both were total strangers. His hand
"A n
he robbers ran one way. while he
sprinted the other. Half an hour later
he. his wife and a l0ntern. a revolver
and the l.Sed girl went out and found
his money. watch. papers and diamond
pin. His wife simply ruined the story
by telling 1t first.-Detroit Free Press.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
The GrumblIng start.

4 noted divine has declared that n
husbands grumhling and scoldnc
were often only his way of beginning
n conversation. and he maintained that
II man were sulky the worse he was
the more cheerful his wife should be.
Certainly husband and wife should
bear and forhear he says. and the soft
answer turneth away wrath more ef-
fectlvely by the. domestic hearth than
elsewhere. Then business is often wor.
rying. and the husband coming home
needs and usually deserves TO find
there all soothing and calming inilu-
ences. But surely it should be mutual
kindness. AZ times the man must take
his turn In meeting irritability or low
spirits with checrfulness and kind.
gentle consideration. AS to The theory
that the wisest aud best course is for
the wife OF ii snlky. tyrannical man al.
ways inst To give In and crouch before
the storm. he does not think that Is Ell
ther good policy or real kindness ulti-
mately 10 the man himself.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26

MRS. REYNOLDS. POlnt, MO-, COLL
mencing a life Of three years in the
camp and on the field, helping the
wounded and sick. After the battle Of
Pittsburg Landing she received her
commission from Governor Yates Of
Illinois. She was at Vicksburg, Miss,
when Gen. Grant dared the experiment
Of running the batteries, and she en-
tered that city with the triumphant
army. After the war she studied medi-
cine in Chicago and became practl-
TONER. Later she removed to Santa
Barbara. When trouble arose In the
Philippines she went there as Red
Gross nurse. She has since returned
home.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26

high banks half hidden by brambles, a
man waited their approach. AS the
women came into sight he advanced to
meet them.
1T is but FIVE minutes by the clock
since l came, madam, yet dare swear
that the moments have been leaden-
footed as SO many hours. The post
chaise waits for us in yonder hollow,
and we have many miles to 60 before
dawn"
THE chaise can wait" she said. 81
seek a word with you first, sirv'
"A thousand, and you will, sweetheart!
But can you not say them as we driver
The moonlight fell full on the group
as the woman stopped and threw back
her hood, and it shone on her pale, set
face. Seeing 1t. Sir Harry faltered and
tapped uneasily on the lid Of his snuff
box. 1t did not seem much like the
look to be expected on the face of a
romantic girl who had so easily fallen
In with his suggestions of runaway
match.
Now" she said, II will tell you why
l let you think that would marry YOU
in secret, and also why the chaise will
not be needed tonight. You have
known me as Dorothy March, sir;
know me now as Dorothy Ingledew-
sister to the man you ruined, and whose
patrimony you stole, and to the wo-
man whose heart you broke"
He scanned the eager face with some
curiosity now. So this explained the
haunting idea that there was something
forgotten which the sight of Dorothy
stirred within him. He could see now
the resemblance between the slender
fair-haired Winifred Ingledew he had
tired OF and deserted when he found II
so easy to get the Ingledew money from
her weak. spendthrift brother without
numbering himself with a wife, and
this dark beauty. who had so unex.
pectedly become his accuser.
Il stole nothing. Your brother-if
brother OF yours he was-lost 1t to me
In play. He lost and l won; It Is the
way OF the world, Miss Dorothy"
HE was boy. You took advantage
OF his youthful folly. My sister loved
Tou; you forsook her when she no longer
had gold to tempt you. He lies in his.
dishonored grave; she plned away and
died broken hearted. You killed
them both. and l vowed to kill you in
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
Warming to Women.

Women are humorously warned
against too many distractions by the
following:
Here lies poor woman who always was
busy.
She lived under pressure that rendered
her dizzy.
She belonged to ten clubs, knew Brown
ing by sight,
Shone at luncheons and teas, and would
vote IL she might.
She served on a school board with cour-
age and zeal:
She golfed and kodaked and rode on a
wheel;
She read Tolstoy and Ibsen; knew mi
crobes by name,
Approved of Delsarte; was daughter"
and 'dame."
Her children went in for top education;
Her husband went seward for nervous
prostration.
One day on her tablets she found an hour
free.
The shock was too great, and she died
instantly.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
wIETsHIs NIeHT At HOME.

4 stretch Of hill and valley, swathed
thick in robes of white,
The buildings, blots of blackness, the
windows gems of light;
A moon now clear, now hidden, as in Its
headlong race
The north wind drags the cloud track, in
tatters Ger its face.
Mailed twigs, that click and clatter, upon
the tossing tree
And like a giants chanting--the deep
voice OF the sea,
As mid the stranded ice cake the burst
ing breakers foam.
The old familiar picture-a winters night
at home.
The old familiar picture-the freight,
rich and red
The lamplight soft and mellow, the shad-
owed beams o'erhead;
Aud father with his paper, and mother
calm and sweet,
Mending the red yarn stockings, stamped
through by careless feet.
The little attic bedroom, the windows
meath the caves.
Decked by the Frost Kings brush with
silver sprays and leaves;
The rafting sash that gossips with the
gusts that roam
Around the ice-fringed gables-a winters
night at home.
What would I give to climb them-those
narrow stairs 80 steep
And reach the little bedroom and sleep
boys sweet sleep;
What would l give again to see that old
house by the sea,
Filled with the dear lost faces that made
1t home for me.
The sobbing wind sings softly the songs
Of long ago,
In the little country churchyard the
graves are wrapped in snow;
But there beyond the arches of Heaven $
star-gilded dome
Perhaps they know Pm dreaming Of the
winter nights at home.
j. lincoln.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
WASTE OF STRENGTH.

500 Il are told that the greatest
WAW danger Of waste of strength is
during the winter season,
when we feel the strongest. This is
the season when most men and women
feel themselves possessed of new
capital of strength and zeal. They are
eager for work and overlooking with
energy. 1t Is also time Of PROMISE
and we are apt to overlook the fact that
1t Is time of danger. A great deal of
energy is wasted, as many other pre-
cious things are wasted, through lack
of intelligence and direction. Physical
and mental strength are as much u
trust as any other form Of property. To
waste them by multiplying the sources
by which they are given out or by fail
ing to concentrate them on things to
which they ought to be directed. is an
offense against ones self and against
society. -
1t is an offense, unfortunately, of
which a great many of the best people
are guilty. At the beginning of the
years work select the lines to which
you can give the greatest effectiveness,
and hold to them with resolute persist
ence. Do not be distracted by the claims
of things which may interest you, but
to which you ought to give your energy.
Put out Of your account, so far as per-
sonal help is concerned, those things
of which you cannot give yourself, and
concentrate strength, time and energy
on the one, two or three lines of work
for which you are fitted, and to which
you are committed Avoid waste of
strength by using it with intelligence,
and by concentration of few objects,
II You would get the most out of life.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
How Weather work. Wonders.

Not the least mysterious of all the
wonders of the earth Is the extraor.
binary cleverness CT Dame Nature as
Il carver and designer. Her tools are
air rain, rivers, springs and frost
Any one who has ever seen the mar
velous Queen Bess rock on the North
Cornish coast, that wonderful present.
ment of the great Queen Elizabeth
who Is seated SO grandly upon the
sands. must have asked himself the
question as to how such thing could
have been accomplished.
Continuous trckling of water wears
away the face of the rock. Haphaz-
ard II was until at last weird pat
tern is formed that sometimes resem.
bles mans face. sometimes an ami
NAL. All over the world Nature has
placed her picture gallery and her col
lection of statuary. the biggest free
show in the world.
Another work of Natures that very
often results in extraordinary changes
being effected is Il landsllp.
And landslips have arisen from the
tiniest possible causes. A little un-
derground flow of water had gradually
undermined Il hill or cliff until at last
the earth became like hollow nut.
Then the soil became top heavy. The
sea beat against Its foundations, and
millions OF tons CT earth were flung
INTO the sea, which proves the axiom
that the tiniest beginnings often pro-
duce the mighliest ends.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
PRESENTS FOR HIS WIFE.
The Worms story of How He Final
ly Came 10 Turn.

~ TAME u uFh
Hello, old man. What have you In
all those bundlesT asked gay, airy
young bachelor Of careworn, solemn
looking young man as they met In
suburban railway train.
Presents for my wife," was the SEN
tentious reply. ITS her birthday"
We'll. what are you bringing your
wife IN that package from your tai
I,i,s:' gayly pursued the bachelor.
Trousers" was the answer.
WHAT"
Yes, | repeat-trousers. Just you
listen. On my birthday my wife got
me three or four beautiful lace hand
Lerchiefs, such as women carry ut aft
rrnoon teas and such places. and q
black velvet hat with high feathers,
one Of the three story kind that OBJ
struct your view of the stage In the
theater. They looked mighty well on
her, and she asked me II | wasn't hay
ing II nice birthday.
''Well, didn't mind that very much
but when Christmas came got anoth-
er deal Of the same sort. | gave my
wife pretty gold ring. She gave me
turquoise ring too small to go over
any Of my knuckles, and she wears 1t
now next to the one | gave her. But
that wasn't the worst of it. She got
her sister to give me some after dinner
coffee cups and my sister to make me n
lot Of lace doilies. That was all l got
for Christmas.
Tomorrow Is my wlfc's birthday.
In this package am bringing her a
pair Of trousers which l had made to
my measure and which shall wear.
In this parcel Is a pair of the very best
patent shoes, size So, good deal too
big for my wife; In this package Is a
box of cigars, and In my pockets
have new meerschaum pipe and a
packet of tobacco. Now, don't see
how she can fail TO have happy birth
day. Do you? | hope she'll enjoy II,
for l want to get even for all the pref
ty things she has given me."-London
Tit-Bits.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
The "Perfectp Wornan.

The dimensions of a perfect woman
are these: Five feet five inches in
height; weight, 1913 pounds. From tip
to tip of each middle finger just five
feet five inches, the same as her height
The length of her hand should be one
tenth of her height; her foot one-sev-
enth, and the diameter of her chest one
fifth. From her thighs to the ground
she should measure just the same as
from her thighs to the top of her head.
The knee should come exactly midway
between the thigh and the heel Inc
distance from the elbow to the middle
finger should be the same as from the
elbow to the middle Of the chest From
the top Of the head to the chin should
be just the length of the loot, and the
same distance from the chin to the arm
pits. A woman of this height should
measure "a inches around the waist "a
about the bust, II measured under inc
arms, and 40 If measured over them.
The upper arm should measure 10
inches and the wrist six inches. The
calf of the leg should measure l4'a
inches. thigh 25 and the ankle eight
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26

\ woman in Cape Colony on trial for
some otfense was told that she might
challenge" amy one on the jury to
whom she objected She immediately
took advantage OF the permission by
challenging highly respectable farm
er. On being asked afterward what
her reason had been for doing so she
explained that she had supposed she
was obliged to object to some one, SO
she had picked out the ugliest.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
DOROTHY'S REVENGE.

ca HE harvest moon climbed slow
I'll ly up the cloudless sky, shining
- white and clear on Tunbridge
Wells. The silence Of night was ON the
sleeping town. Two women, closely
cloaked, crept stealthily along, the elder
demonstrating.
"It's great risk you run, mistress"
she whispered.
Elf you fear to come with me, Betty,
60 alone"
NAY, madam, my fears are not fol
myself. I know my place better than
to leave my mistress alone to meet wild
Sir Harry Fortescue."
Meanwhile, pacing slowly backwards
and forwards In the shadow cast by
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
Progressive Women.


Miss Sarah Flanagan is CITY clerl, az
Ninsston, ont, possibly the only wom
ah VINO has ever attained to such q no.
sltion in Canada.
MISS Alice Serber, of New York. ia
the hrst woman lawyer of that city to
De admitted to practice in the United
States District Courts.
Miss Cora A. Wellman has been an.
pointed by the New Hampshire su.
preme Court as assignee to wind up the
aHalrs OF the Hinsdale Savings Bank.
Inc only woman rabbi on record IA
Miss Rachel Frank, who had conferred
on her this distinction by a Jewish
church in San Francisco.
Mrs. Ruth Schaffner Etnier has bean
appointed by Dr. G. G.. Croft, the edu.
cauOnal commissioner for Porto Rico
inspector of education for the district Of
Ponce, including over forty schools.
Mrs. Schaffner Etner Is the first WON.
an selected for such position in .the
island.
The ubiquitous American dentist
held in the highest esteem the world
over Tor superior professional skill, has
already hung out her shingle in Manila,
and Is finding abundant demand for her
services. DIR. Anna M. Sawyer, of New
York, Is the woman who has taken the
initiative in this instance.
One Of the youngest notaries public
In the country is Miss Kathryn Helmer
of st. Louis, who is 20 years old and
has held the position of notary In that
city for two years.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26

months ago. He is
tired of his wife and
seeks the freedom Of
his bachelor days.
But three short
months ago King
Alexander declared
he would sooner alb
dictate than give up
the beautiful widow
who was formerly
lady in waiting to
Queen Natalie. In
the face of the entire
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26

young king continued in his determine
ton and finally he enlisted the kind Of
fees Of the Gear of Russia who inter-
coded with his father. On the day be-
fore the wedding the Car sent the bride
a magnificent necklace of diamonds and
emeralds, the value of the gift being
estimated at half a million francs.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26

Harry, yesterday was our wedding
anniversary, and you never said a
word about It,"
We'll my dear. felt 1t In my bones
that 1t was some sort OF a big day, but
couldn't remember what 1t was."-
indianapolis Journal.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
Knew His Business.

THAT bunch of jokes" said the
vaudeville manager, hasn't one il, il
that Is less than thirty years old"
"And the crowd that comes TO your
theater," retorted the would-be mon.
ologist, Twill average less than 30 year-
Of e.'-Indlanapolis Press.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26

the anxious ones at home. She was Just
completing portrait when the first
scare came to the legation, and after
the momentary excitement had died
away she persuaded her sitter to give
her another hour, in which she com
pleted the picture.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
Fisheries of England and Wales

In England and Wales there are
1871 fishing boats and 10000 fisher.
men engaged In the sea fishery. Last
year they caught 6,S5O,OOO hundred.
weight of fish, including 2,2500 200 hun.
dredweight Of herring.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26

And have you tried the plan Of
greeting your husband with kind words
when he comes home late. rs | sug-
gested:" asked the elderly friend.
Il have" said the youngish woman.
and II works like a charm. He stays
home all the time now trying to figure
out what Is the matter. "-lndlanapolis
Press.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26

Is a native of MasSa-
chusetts. When IA
years old she re-
moved to the West,
and at the opening
Of the Civil War,
when her husband
enlisted in the Sew
enteenth Illinois, she
Joined him at Birds
Point Mo. COM
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26

long siege OF Pekin,
reached Chicago re-
Gently. Miss Payen
gives an interesting
description Of t h e
siege, which, she says.
was not SO black as 1t
was painted, one Of
the chief troubles of
those within the walls
haip0 tho fhounbt of
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
Letter.. sbould Reflect Writers.

It is a gift to be "like yourseil ~
your letters. Some people write Us :,
they were talking, and their letters a'e
always welcome to their frlends pe'
cause of their strong individuality ro'
this reason 1t Is a disastrous mistake -
cultivate a "style" In letter wri''ns.
Your letter should be true likeness -
your own mind, even II you nave "
make It brief. The genuine tru'n ',
your few lines will carry messase v
reality to whomeyer they are Sent, !.
Never write letter in anger '','s sr "a
always q mistake. You may nav,
righteous cause for anger, pnl ~ ~,
write until the blaze has eooleu az =,
your temper has recovered It's norma =" !
serenity. 1t is quite bad enough y. ~, '@ -
angry words; they may be iorsos'.a ~
fall upon unheeding ears "s
words last.-Ada G. Sweet, In "oi''"
Home Companion.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26

Every man is bound to hear the trutl
occasionally even If he doesn't rccoc.
nize 1t.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
Heroine of Pekin.

Miss Cecile Payen. the Chicago por-
trait painter, who shared with Mrs.
and Miss Woodward, of Evanston, the
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
Would Divorce Draga

King Alexander, of Seryia, has an
nounced his intention of divorcing
Queen Draga, whom he carried three
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26

The factory hand may indulge in
song but he prefers to knock off with q
whistle.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
A Woman Major.

The only woman major in the United
States army is Mrs. Belle l.. Reynolds,
of Santa Barbara, Cal Mrs. Reynolds