The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-11-07
SPINNING WHEEL.
TIL SENSITIVE KETTLE.

Inc POL Responded, Ell!
Then doubtless that's the reason, .marm, 81,
You do lot sing today
but what's amiss?" The Kettle sobbed,
why, sir, you're surely blind,
Or you'd have noticed that the cook
is shockingly unkind.
Il watched her make a cake just now
If I'd u pair OF legs
I'd run away! oh, dear; oh, dear!
How she did beat the eggs.
Nor was that all-remembeT, please,
ruth ten to YOU
For with my own two eyes / saw
uer some che ra1SnS, 100.
And afterwarl-a dreadful sight
felt inclined to scream!-
liz" t'rneI tteilult TOOK ii IOrk
And Soundly whipped the cream!
Now can you wonder that my nerves
Have rather given way:
Although I'm at the boiling point,
cannot sing today" Felix Leigh
Zone of the funnies+ things that ever
happened to me- said the old magician,
who was in a reminiscent mood, ''oc-
CURED number OF years ago while l
was making Il tour Of the country. At
that time my favorite card was the box
trek, where | allowed myself to be pat
in 4 sack after which / was locked in
box, which was tied ID and put in the
cabinet, from which, emerged mo-
ment later, bowling and smiling. 1t al
ways brought down the house. and was a
subject for discussion long after / had
left
We'll, l gave my performance one
night at small town, and after the show
was over went to the little hotel and
retired for the night, the old man who
kept the hotel showing me to my room
with all the Difference that he would give
to Il king. The bed iii the room was
folding one. and no sooner was l in than
ately for me, | realized what was hap
penng in time to roll to one side. so
that when the bed closed it left my head
out. But otherwise | was powerless. and
there was nothing 10 do but yell for help;
which | did to the best of my ability.
Finally / succeeded in making the land
lord hear me. and ne came to the door
and wanted to know what the matter
was.
This cussed bed has shut up and
caught me in it" | shouted.
"'Wul, why don't you git out" he
drawled.
IL can'tv l bawled.
'Humph, a Teller what kin git out of
sack after he has been put in a box and
locked up ought ter be able to git out of
a bed, he answered.
1t took fifteen minutes steady argu-
ment on my part to convince the old man
that my skill in getting out of difiicult
places did not include folding beds, and
even then he seemed TO think | had
caused him a lot of unnecessary trouble.
"All he said whe nat last he released
me was:
'Humph, We amt ez big 4 man ez
thought We wuzr Detroit Free Press.
One of the spellbinders of the Fifth
Avenue hotel coined Il new political joke
last week and lamented the fact that he
could make no use of it himself. Here II
is:
What do they call John G. Woolley,
the Prohibition candidate for Presi-
dent?' asks Smith.
Il don't know" says Jones.
They call him cash register says
Smith
why should Mr. Woolley be called
cash register?' asks Jones, and Smith
promptly replies:
Because John G. Woolley is the bar.
tenders worst enemy
The spellbinder said that so far in the
campaign he had met no Woolley men
and therefore his little joke had been OF
no use to him.-New York Sun.
lot
There is pretty little story being told
of how Private Brooking Travelled home
in the luxury of Pullman pillows, albeit
the powers who should have provided for
the invalided soldiers proved themselves
very remisS in looking after his comfort.
When he started westward from Que
bee. BrOoklng was magnanimOuSly pre-
sented with SO In money wherewith to
buy his meals on the four or five days
overland trip-meals being 80 cents each
and secOnd-cass ticket to the coast
to use which he was forced into the COM
pany of little party of Cinnamon in the
cOlOniSt coast.
Brooking had got out of the unsavory
cOlonist car to stretch himself at Mon
treal, and just about the same time big,
bluff, jolly Harry Helmcken had stepped
to the platform from the handsome par
lor car ''Astern.'' The bronzed young
fellow in khaki at once claimed his atten-
ton, and he shouted out:
Heb, there. on BOY in khaki, What
are you doing in the second class with a
lot of Chinamen?'
That's the way the ticket reads" said
Brooking, when Harry pressed for an an
SWer.
TT does. eh?'-Harry was becoming
indignant. We'll, I don't care how it
reads, there's no boy from the West that
fought at Paardeoerg going to travel
second class if we know anything about
1T. Here you, porter, move the military
gentleman traps back to my CARP
The porter promptly obeyed. and
Brooking came homeward with nothing
too good for him.-Montreal Star.
-:o:-
The teacher was trying to commune
cate to the juvenile class an idea of faith
and to better illustrate it she held up an
apple and said:
IF | were to tell you there were no
seeds iii this apple you would believe me
without further proof, Would you not?"
Yes, ma am answered the class in
chorus
We'll, that is faith,'' said the teacher.
The next day in order to test their rec
objection of the lesson, she asked:
Who can tell me what faith is?"
:! can," promptly answered a small
urchin. Its an apple what amt got no
seeds III. Chicago News.
-:o:-
The Duke of Leeds has Just been ceIe-
brating his thirty-ninth birthday at
Horribly castle, near Bedaie where he
generally lives with the. duchess and his
four little daughters when he is not on
board the Corisande enjoying his favor
tie receation of yaching, relates London
correspondent. The present duke is a
nephew of Lord Sydney Godolphin Os-
hn fo