The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-10-28
The Family a. . Republic.

The Family ms q Republic.
The old-fashioned idea of family was
the patriarchal idea. 1t was, in fact, a
despotism. There was no appeal from
the authority of the father, as the head
of the household, and seniority deter
mined influence. The modern idea ID
struggling toward a sort of republican
ideal, and each member of the family ID
the management of affairs. Theo-
retically, this is beautiful. but practical
ly it is sometimes badly mixed, and re-
sembles anarchy more than any recog-
nized system of government.
There is no question that the old sys-
were bad ones. The habit of unquestion-
ing and unintelligent obedience has a bad
effect on some natures. The exercise of
irresponsible authority is bad for almo st
any person. The modern American fam
lily at its best is probably much nearer
the ideal state of things than was the
old-time English or Continental house,
hold. In the model American home the
husband and wife are equal partners in
the management Of the family affairs,
although each in some special matters
defers to the superior experience and
training Of the other. The children,
while obedient, are yet cognizant Of the
reasons for their obedience. and their
feelings and wishes have some influence
in the domestic councils. II 1t Is neces-
sary to retrench in expenses, no arbitrary
command IS given by the head of the
household. but the need for economy is
made plain, and each person voluntarily
giving up some luxury or adding in some
way to the income. II new house is to
be bought or furnished, the taste Of all is
consulted. and each member OF the house
hold is, SO far as possible, allowed some
corner in which individual taste may
have full scope. Nobody is suppressed;
nobody is domineering. Candor compels
one to admit, however, that such house,
holds are extremely rare, even in
America.
The obstacle in the way of most peo-
Pile, when 1t comes to realizing this ideal,
is inconsiderateness. When one person in
house insists on having his own way and
maintaining his own rights, whether they
conflict with those of others or not, there
is always trouble The only way in which
people can live peacefully in the close re-
lation of family life is by making large
and frequent allowances for differences
in temperament, in occupation, and in
strength of character. There are women
who can never understand that no human
being can be expected to be both mascu-
line and feminine, and that the person
who Is engaged in the occupation of win
ming subsistence for the family, having
their destinies in some measure dependent
upon his single strength, cannot in addi-
tion to business assume domestic cares.
There are also men who fail to see that
occupation SO combining, SO petty in Its de-
tails, and SO insistent in its demands upon
the emotions as that Of caring for home
and children. she cannot retain, at all
times. the cheerful and attractive manner
which, as a girl, she could assume during
hours. There are parents who
do not understand that II they fail to
treat their children with courtesy the
children will follow their example like
SO many little monkeys; and there are
children who cannot be trusted with too
much freedom. The study of human ma
ture is an absorbing one. and 1t is because
human nature is so complex and varied
In its manifestations and has SO seldom
been studied logically. that the problem
Of applying democratic principles to fam
lily life is SO difficult. We have still
good many traditions In dark and cob
Hebbed corners, left over from the days of
Illogical superstition and despotism. 1t is
best to weed out ones ideas of human
relations and see how many of them can
be accounted for by reason and how many
are mere prejudice or echoes of other peo-
Pies maxims.