Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1900-11-09
Mr.. Jobson's Gas Bill

MIR. JoBsON got home from his
lVI Office in rather benign humor
the other afternoon During the
progress of dinner he told Mrs. job
son that while he was out for his
lunch at noon he had seen a woman
the sort he wanted Mrs. Jobson to get,
and he said that he'd write a check
and let her go down town and order
the suit on the morrow. He also told
Mrs. Jobson that, if she intended to
have her sealskin made over, she'd
better be having the job done before
the furriers got into their rush sea-
son, and when Mrs. Jobson remarked
that she could have the work done
beautifully for $50, he told her that
he'd write her a check for that
amount, too, as soon as he finished
dinner. AS he got up from the din
ner table he noticed the months gas
bill lying on the dining-room mantel-
piece. He picked it up and stared at
it, cloud gathering on his brow.
"Seven dollars and forty cents again
this MONTH" he exclaimed, gazing at
Mrs. Jobson suspiciously, and all of
his amiability departed. Look a-here,
Mrs. Jobson, will you be good enough
to explain to me the meaning of
this?"
why" replied Mrs. Jobson, there's
nothing to explain, except that the
bill really does seem trihe higher
than it ought to be, ALTHOUGH, you
know, lot of the cooking this month
has been done on the gas range,
and"
"'Trihe higher than it ought to
be'-'Cooking on the gas range!"
snorted Mr.. Jobson. what kind of
an explanation is that? You haven't
been cooking for couple O. hundred
hired men, have you? You haven't
been getting meals for four or five
regiments of cavalry on the gas range
during the past month, have you? Or
do you light all the gas range burners
before you go to bed at night and let
'em burn all night, just for the sake
of trying to find out how much gas
you can consume inside of a month";
Do you light all the Jets in the house
during nay absence and let 'em blaze
away full tilt just for the purpose
Of"
''Now, you perfectly well know that
don't do anything of the Sort" in
terrupted Mrs. Jobson. good-natured-
ly. There may be something the mat
ter with the meter. Why don't you
drop by the gas Office on your way
down town tomorrow morning and
ask to have one of the gas inspectors
sent up to look at the meter? 1
of gas coming from the meter for
some time past. You pay the gas in
spector a fee OF 50 cents, you know,
to have him look at the meter, and
II he finds that the meter is defec-
tive he refunds you th6F6O cents, cal
culates how much you have overpaid
on your bill owing 20 the defective
meter. and the gas company refunds
ysu the amount. II the inspector finds
that the meter is all right he keeps
the 50 cents. think il would pay
to have our meter examined"
Mr.. Jobson scrutiniEed Mrs. Jobson
while she was making this speech as
If she were some newly discovered
species Of armadillo.
'Do you mean to tell me-" he said,
when she had finished, that you
actually take any stock in that beau
tiful dream? Dye positively believe,
way down deep in you, at your time
o. life, that any gas company that was
ever organized to pay dividends ever
yet refunded any real, sure-enough
money TO its compulsory consumers?
Is it possible that you swallow that
aged fairy tale about government gas
inspectors calculating customers
losses due to defective meters, and
gas companies going down into their
jeans to repay"
"Well," ventured Mrs. Jobson, 81
know that Mrs. Kaystreet had the
meter in their house examined last
month, and she got back"
"She got two or three hundred
shares of preferred stock in the gas
company, s'pose you're going to tell
me-" interrupted Mr.. Jobson. III you
believe all the fantasies that Mrs. |
Kaystreet tOlls you you'll find your
self-but seven dollars and 40 cents
worth of gas for an eight-room house
that's what gots nae around che
Locking ~ the bill again.
and gsttiAg nnsddsr ever n No Ieug-
er he locked ~ ~. Il doaH hEas9A to
80 . 49, .-