Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-01-06
TOO MUCH NEW YEAR DAY

| young Wednew to his wife at the breakfast
table about week before the twentieth
| century didn't begin.
| Yes. jack" replied his wife. archly.
| Won't 1t be odd-receiving as a Mrs. on
New Year day."
"Umphi S'pose it'll be odd. all right. but
| where do 1 come in? Thought we'd fixed
| it to spend our first holiday season together
quietly and alone no fiubadub OF pink
| waists or fxin's? Am I supposed to be
| mixed up In the receiving end of it?''
why. Of course not. Jack. You know
| men are not supposed to be in evidence
around the house during New Year receiv-
| ing"
We'll. I'm not going to be chased out.
permit me to inform you. I've been hunger
ing, for two thousand years for
| home and now that I've got one I'm going
| to stay in 1t. Let Rome in Tiber melt, and
the Wide arch of the ranged empire fall;
here is my space You don't s'pose I'm
going to tog out on New Year day and go
| Jamming around making calls? Hardly.
Through with all that sort o thing. Too
old
out on New Year day If you don't wish to,
Jack"
Well, then, where do l put in the day
in the cellar, or n the attie-I suppose the
whole upstairs part of the housell be en-
pioyed as dressing apartments for your
assistants?"
Il going to have assistants-four of
them: one of item one of your old flames;
am not forgiving and free from jealousy?
NO, you Will not have to stow yourself away
in the cellar or the attic; couldn't you stay
in your own den for just few teeny weeny
little hours, Jack?'
That nd be nice-and smoke myself deaf.
blind and dumb, and stare out of the win
dow and at the figures on the wall, and
read the Rise and Fall of the Roman EN-
pire. and just have slathers of hilarity.
Where do l come In for some of the egg
nog? And how about my dinner? Or is
dinner cut out of these calcuations?'
III make you 4 nice little separate bowl
OF eggnog all for yourself Jack and you
can have it in your own den: and can
have dinner before we commence receiving,
of course. Now do be your lovely. agree
able self for I am just dying to receive this
New Year as a solemn settled matron.''
What's the good of your having that old
flame of mine here as an assistant receiver
whoever the deuce she may be-never had
any old flames that l know of-unlcss I'm
to have peek at her. anyhow
w ell. 1t ii be enough for you to know
that she's under the same roof with YOU
So it was settled that way. although
Wednew was heard to mutter several times
before Now Year day arrived that he
couldn't exactly see where ne was going To
get off at. Mrs. Wednews name
given in the receiving columns of the
newspapers. together with the names of
her assistants and there was lot of over
hauling of the lower rooms and embciiish-
ing with flowers and plants. and daily and
nightly conferences between Wednew and
Mrs. Wednew as to what she'd look the
prettieSt in Cyoull look pretty in any old
thing, comprised his share of the confer
ences), and then New Year day happened
along. as that and other days have A ha bit
of doing. Wednew evinced perverse de-
sire to loaf around the lower floor OF the
house In his smoking Jacket during the
| morning hours, but he was s-crnly told
that smoking didn't go down stairs that
,ilH frY f.,a~ ,Nft
and spelling the effect of the fragrance of
| the cut flowers. and by II O'Clock in the
morning he found himself chased to the
second floor. He hadn't any more than
read the morning papers and smoked
| couple of cigars before Mrs. Wednew told
him that dinner was ready.
Dinner? AT noon-only couple of hours
after breakfast? How's this?'' he inquired.
Well we begin to receive at . you
know, Jack and I want to have the dishes
| all out of the way. and the maid tded up
to serve the refreshments" explained Mrs.
Wednew.
So Wednew, without any appetite, sat
down to his noon New Year dinner, being
gently logged along whenever he seemed
disposed to linger over the viands Imme
diately after dinner. which lasted some
what less than half an hour, Mrs. Wednew
disappeared upstairs. and at half-past l she
| appeared unto her spouse. who was gloom
| lily looking out Of the parIor windows, ra-
diant and ready to receive.
Now, Jack, au revoir for few teeny
Mite hours she said to Wednew. My
and yau w na be shorty
miles of here. Just go up to your den like
a dear-its all fixed lovely, with the in
dlyidual bowl of eggnog-and enjoy your
| self. tn all be over by I O'Clock and
| then we'll have a jolly old time when |
tell you about everybody that called
Wednew assembled the stairs with the
| to his den. He had a sort of unexpressed
| feeling that this first New Year he had
arrived at as married man wasn't eX-
actly pannng out as one wild whirr Of
| hilarity for him, but he couldn't exactly
make up his mind what was wrong with it
wonder why 1t is he thought. that
men can't break into this New Year pic
| ture somehow or other. in their own
homes? Married mans either got to hide
| somewhere under his own roof or revert to
his bachelorhool and jam around making
calls This looks to me like one of the
respects in which a married man is a dead
one. Darned queer a chap can't have his
WIFE with him when he wants her. Feel
! as lonesome as the dickens up here all by
myself. N don't believe she wanted me to
| go out calling, at that. She didn't suggest
| it, | noticed"
| He took a couple of eggnogs out of the
bowl and settled himself down to read He
| read two pages of the book and then got
| up and looked out of the window He heard
| the front door opening and closing down
| stairs, and the CHEEKY laughter of young
| women. and the deeper tones of the men
making pretty speeches.
They're having all kinds of fun down
there, and here l am hidden up here like
| a burglar that's got in and can't get out
Wonder she didn't tie me to a bed post in
the store ROOM
He took few more eggnogs. and then
the idea struck him. He furtively opened
| the door of his den and looked out. Yes,
| they were all down stairs, and he could
| race to his dressing room and get his dress
clothes. He waited until the laughter and
| chatter down stairs We're mingling high
| together, and then he tiptoed to his ROOM
| furtively got out the things. grabbed
| brush and comb from the dresser. and
| tiptoed back to his den. Then he lit the
gas-it was growing Oakland rugged him
self up He remembered that, having come
| In the basement way on the night before.
his overcoat and top hat were on the base
! ment rack. He crept down the basement
stairs, put on his overcoat, grabbed a cane,
and let himself out into the darkness.
When Wednew got home about 10 o'clock
he found his wife in wild alarm.
] "Great heaven, Jack, what has happened?
| Where and how did You go? Why did
| you"
Happy New Yearsh III one" said We'd
| new, removing his overcoat with great dig
| nifty and beaming upon her affectionately.
u