davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

Of which the subject was The Value
of Time and meant to read It over
on the ny. but eventually did not like
to do So, as he sat beside a servant
who drove him over. So it happened
that he had to read it for the first time
in the pulpit. He got on very we'll un-
til he came to a sentence saying that
as the parish possessed no church
clock. it was his intention to present
one. He was too nervous to omit the
sentence, and l was assured at Brad
ford that he did actually present the
promised clock. which cost SO"
Here are other Yorkshire stories In
which the comic is mixed with the pa
thetic:
"A Yorkshire clergyman the other
day, visiting a poor man who had just
lost his little boy, endeavored to con-
sole him. The poor man burst into
tears, and in the midst of his sobs ex-
claimed: If 'twarna ag'in t'law Al
should ha' liked to have t'little beggar
stoofed.'
"A clergyman visiting a dying man
observed him putting his hand out OF
the bed and eating something from
time to time, so he said he was glad
to see he could eat a little, when the
man with funny look, said: They're
my funeral biscuits. The missus went
to the town and bought them, and
she's out today, and I'm eating them'"
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

an old chest. for thank goodness, he
added, we have had no occasion for
them sort of books for many a long
year-never since the old COW was so
bad"
But his curates and clerical friends
are responsible for even more droll
stories than the laity provided during
his rectorship one of which deserves
quoting:
THE first time that Archdeacon
Wickham visited this deanery as arch
deacon ] drove him to a parsonage,
where the incumbent insisted upon his
inspecting everything. In the garden
is a little pool and over this pond we
beheld a strange erection of posts and
planks, with a sort of saddlelike seat
on the top. on the archdeacon asking
the incumbent what it was, ne ex-
claimed with great delight that 1t was
a capital contrivance by which you
could take exercise and make yourself
useful by pumping water to the church,
where he had just been building a
transept. SO, saying that he would
show us. he clambered up, sat down
on saddle smiling and began to work
the treadles eagerly. Unfortunately,
however, the work at the church hav-
ing been Just finished, the pipe which
had conveyed the water to the work.
men had been cut off just above the
surface of the water. The consequence
was that he Immediately produced Il
jet of water which shot straight up
ward and almost lifted him off his seat,
entirely upsetting the archdeaconal
gravity. AS we returned to the house
the incumbent begged the archdeacon
to go into the back yard and smell
the pump. which. he said, stunk hor-
ribly. The archdeacon protested that
he had no authority over pumps, but he
would take no denial, and when he got
into the back yard he said Now, Mr..
Archdeacon, If you will put your nose
to the spout, l will pump The arch
deacon was, however, quite equal to
the occasion, and said: No, / depute
the rural dean to put his nose to the
spout, and / will receive his report.
and, If needed. pronounce an ecclesias-
tical censure."
A Yorkshire clergyman, we are told,
had to pay dearly for his good nature
in taking an incumbent's place at short
notice and preaching a borrowed SER
mon.
"a shy, nervous clergyman near
Bradford was about to help a friend
by reading the prayers when a mess
age came to say that neighboring in
cumbent was taken i'll and to ask for
help. The rector could not go, so the
friend had to be sent, but having no
sermon with him,he borrowed one from
the rector. who wrote a clear, good
hand. He selected one well written,
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

to cleanse my skin. as IL l don't ba the
or wash my countenance a half dozen
times a day! She has removed all the
soap from the washstands, because she
Is in fear well use some on our faces,
and | go around with hands that look
as II I'd been grubbing coal with 'em,
and she almost starves us in the morn
ing. because it isn't healthy to eat
breakfast; soap makes wrinkles, she
says, and to drink eight gallons
of water a day, I won't. Talk about
keeping n husbands love! Well, all
I've got to say is, you women are driv-
ing us to drink" And then he slammed
the door as he went out, and the wo-
man who listened knew all the time
that he was secretly glad his wife was
up-to date enough to want to get rid
Of leathery complexion and an accu-
mutation of fat, but she ran after him
and tried to set him right about the
water. ut is only eight quarts" she
shouted, land you can't do it at first,
try three glasses before breakfast"
Saucy Bess,
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21
A BISHOPS FUNNY STORIES.
Entertaining "reminiscences of Cler-
gymen and Parishioners,

From the London Morning Post
The late bishop of Wakefield was n
remarkable man in many ways, distin-
gulshed alike for deep, earnest piety,
unialling cheerfulness and a strong
sense Of humOr. and possessing to a
marked degree the rare gift of gain
ing the love and esteem of his flock.
He loved to hear a good story, and
throughout his life made it a practice
TO enter the most amusing incidents
and anecdotes of his experience in a
notebook. The bulk of the anecdotes
relate to persons connected with the
church, whether bishops, Wears, cur
ates or humble Vergers, but they are
none the less amusing on that account.
Many of them center around Whiting
ton, the Shropshire parish of which
the bishop was rector from 1851 to 1879,
and of which his parishioners he has
several quaint stories. For instance:
THE following words are given yer-
batim as spoken by an old woman in
the parish on the occasion of my first
visit soon after ! became rector: Tho
old man and me never go to bed, sir,
without singing the evening hymn.
Not that have got any voice left, for
| haven't, and as for him, he's like a
bee in abottle; and then he don't hui
NOR the tune. for he don't rightly
know one tune from another, and he
can't remember the words neither; so
when he leaves out a word | puts il
In, and when l can't sing / dances,
and so we get through 1t somehow &"
Here is another good story:
In, F,Is
house-Whittington is on the border
Of Wales-being taken very III, neigh
Dor went for the clergyman, who said
he would come directly. The neighbor,
going back to the farm house, said
they had better get out a Bible, as the
parson might ask for one. The farmer
thereupon told the woman she would
find one, he thought, at the bottom Of
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21
THE IsoLATEs OF ENGLAND.

The wind is hushed; the darkness grows;
The ianting moon is lost in flight;
Death lifts a somber hand. and throws
His clouds across the face Of night.
With parted lips and haggard stare
That strives and strains to pierce the gloom
Each nation crouches in its lair,
And breathlcss, waits the coming doom,
Dim, shapeless shadows pass like ghostl
Along the trembling earth, that feel
The distant tramp of marching hosts,
And hear the smothered clash of steel;
Till reaching out for friendly hands
To guide them through the gloom, they press
To where one silent figure stands
Serene in lofty loneliness.
They hurl their taunts, their oaths their prayers,
The snarl OF greed, the growl OF hate
They spit upon the cloak she wears,
Or grasp its hem to supplicate.
But still, as though she heard them not,
He Tanxious eyes are fixed afar
Among the clouds, one pale spot,
Where family CLEANS single star.
-.
BY that same star she chose her path
For every nght in vanished years;
Though screened by mists Of doubt and wrath
She sees il still, as though through tears;
Then, glancing at the fretful horde
Who call her now to bend the knee,
She lays a hand upon her sword
And turns her eyes toward the sea.
st. James Gazette.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21
LITERARY NOTES.

"Pne Knot" story of Kentucky life, is the
title of the new novel, by William T.. Barton,
author of "A Hero in IIomcspun," which is pub
lishcd by d. Appleton Co. The success of Dr.
Barton'S former book imparts especial interest
to his new romance which is described as a
story full of the atmosphere Of the quaint noun.
tain life The author has chosen the exciting
period of the anti.Slavery contest and the carly
years OF the civil war. In addition to the series
Of adventures involved in this phase OF the
theme, Dr. Barton has utilized mountain
legend OF lost mine, and the interest Of a
treasure search runs through the book The
story is described as singularly fresh, strong
and entertaining in both types and incidents
"a Prisoner Among Fininos' is the title Of
Lieutenant Commander James C. Gilmore's ac.
count Of his extraordinary experiences in the
Philippines, which begins in the August Nc.
Clurc's Lieutenant Gilmore was captured bv
savage tribes while out in a small boat with A
scouting party on the east coast of Luzon. Tie
had more than one narrow escape from death
For several months these men Travelled hundreds
OF miles through the heart Of Luzon enduring
unSpeakabe hardshipS, with no prospect OF es.
cape from an awful fate at the hands of blood.
thirsty Tagals. The illustrations by w. r. Leigh
after the authors own sketches are maryelously
graphic.
The Jay'llawkers," Mrs Adela L. Orpcn's
forthcoming romance, deals with a theme so
stirring and full Of interest that its neglect by
writers Of fiction seems surprising. She pic.
lures the Frec'S Soil and Border Rufian conflict in
Missouri and Kansas, and introduces the notorious
guerrilla Quantrell, together with dramatic
picture Of the sack Of Lawrence Although Mrs
Orpen lives at present in England, her child.
hood and youth were passed on the Kansas from.
tier, and her personal knowledge and vivid
memories are reflected in "The Jay.IIawkers,"
which will be published shortly by D. Apple.
ton Co.
"Brown Of Lost River is the title Of a new
romance Of ranch life described as a singulary
vivid and fascinating story of the plains, which
is sh' Z, be published by D. Appleton Co.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21
JONAS LOWG'S SONS.
JONAS LON0's SONS,
IN Today, Saturday, for
'o| WOmen'S Shoes.
l Positively Cheap at $500

-. Expect to break all records today with this sale of
Womens Shoes because they without question one
OF the greatest bargains offered to shoe buyers
Our buyer picked them up down in Massachusetts,
from maker whom you all know-because he makes
good Shoes ook all he had of them in readiness to Ship
They are built on the newest toe last, an exception
ally pretty style, and come in both button and lace
All sizes and all widths. It's no feat to fit feet
with them.
We shall sell every pair with the same liberal guar
antee that is always SO prominently characteristic of
Jonas Longs Sons merchandise.
We will exchange them for larger sizes.
We will exchange them for smaller sizes.
We will exchange them for other goods.
We will refund your money if not wholly suited.
You don't run much risk in deal like that Where's
there another house that would 60 far to please you
Here's quotation from the makers letter concern
ing these shoes; he ought to know pretty what's
in them. Read:
You cannot say too much about these shoes; they
are the pride of my factory In making them use
nothing but selected skins and my workmen have or
ders to finish them perfect is possible to fn sh
shoe. You have bought them verv cheap, much less
than you would had not needed the floor room for
fall goods now making.
$I39 the pair today. No more than one pair to
customer. Sale begins promptly at nine 90 o'clock.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21
PLAYS AND PLAYERS.

II. c. Barnabce, Of "Thc BoSonans," sailed
for Europe last saturday to visit the Paris ex'
position.
The new musical farce in which william Harris
will present Louis Mann and Clara lipman Will
be called IAN on Account of Eliza"
Dorothy Love, the young society woman OF st..
Louis, who will rake her debut as an actress
this fall, has be G engaged by Frank Mckee TO
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

Miss Pratt on Mulberry street, has returned TO
her hCmc in Emra.
Mr.. and Mrs. Schuyler Gernon are spending a
few weeks at Asbury Park.
Mrs. J. Alton Davis and family, of Linden
street, are at Lake Winola.
Mrs. Murray and Miss Murray, of Chicago, are
guests of Mrs. George L. Barnard.
Henry Bclin, jr., and family have removed to
their country place near Glcnhurn.
Mrs. Joseph SCharar, Of the North End is
spncding few weeks in Lancsboro.
City Solicitor A. A. Voshurg returned yester-
day from a short stay at Atlantic City.
Miss Anna Dawson, of Sandcrson avenue, is
spending few weeks at Clarks summit
Harold Watrcs is enjoying a trip at coast re.
sorts with friends on Long Island Sound
Attorney and Mrs, Robert Peck leave this
morning for Viola, Delaware, to VISIT the lat
tcr's parents
Editor John L. Ilopcwcll, of the Providence
Register, and daughter, Miss Hazel IIopewcl
will spend the coming two weeks in Canada.
L. W. Termnitzcr is at Iloncsdale.
Mr.. and Mrs j. T. Watkins are at Atlantic
City.
Miss Josie Lees is at Lake winola for few
weeks
Mr.. and Mrs. T. IT, Watkins are at Manchcs,
ter, VT
James A, Goodholl, Of Green Ridge, is at
Asbury Park.
+. L Peel and family are at Parlor Hill for
few weeks.
\. NJ. Goldsmith and family are summcring
at Lake Ariel.
Arthur Hitchcock and family are at Star.
light, Wayne county.
Mrs. G. dub Dimmick has been in Homes hlc
for the psst fortnight
Mr. and Mrs. NJ. II. Iolgate are spending
thc summer at AShury Park.
TUDOR Williams las returned from bloomsbury
whore he attended a house party.
Mrs. William ConneI and Mrs H. NJ. Bocs
were at Lake Henry on Wednesday
Mr. and Mrs. Everett Warren and family
have gone 10 Magnolia, Mass. for the season.
Mr. and Mrs. r. j. Foster and son, Taylor,
Will spend the remainder of the summer in Colo
RADIO.
Mr. and Mrs, Thomas Spraguc have been Wis.
iting at the summer home OF Mr. and Mrs sid.
n"y ltcnwood at Lake Lord.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

The author, Mrs. Mary Z. stickney, was born
in Massachusetts,, and is now the wife Of bank
president in Colorado. She writes OF the life
Of the plains with a knowledge derived from
much experience and with a charm which comes
from her love Of the theme. Mrs. StiCkncy has
written many short stories, several Of which
have been translated for French publications, but
Brown Of Lost River" is her most important
work.
can international Wheat Corner" by J. d.
Whelpley, in the August McCures. gives some
what startling revelation of a proposition made
not long ago by the Russian government to the
United States, whereby the two nations should
control the wheat supply Of the entire world
and fix its price at a uniform rate which should
never fiuctuate. These details have never be.
fore been made public.
"The Law in Its Relation TO Physicians" by
Arthur n. Taylor, ILL., B., Of the New York bar,
is the title Of an important and practical book
just published by d. Appleton & Co. Its OBJ
jcct is to place within the reach of every physi.
clan a systematic treatment Of these questions
OF law with which he is most frequently con-
frontcd in his practice.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21
Movements of Pe0Dle
DIR. J. L. Fordham is at Asbury Park.


DI' o. H. rolun'!" in,, Is "' Nsnuis i"IA'
mrs MrS Joseph nritn . Is AT NtLahtlc NY.
N' a. "" '''''' - AZ N'''","'''' " o.
mi' w. T. p!No'' al" i'''iS Will su'n'ne' a'
pailon'
NI, Joseph No't ana idlhiiy are at puhuau
ioT the summer, -,
DePuly ATTORNEY ueherSl r. W. rle'| Is IN
the cly 10 remain over ouhudy'
heNt lew "SfhS T AZ SIe'er |,,i Island A. -,
Nn' anu Mr.. o "ouir'!' oi the Jerihyh'
are u' L"He Nlhola 10, rev weeks,
n's IL h'tl"el anu MISS h'"'''r i'i' yesterday
,',i,, ~, """'on ~ Tlt',sa an" 1"I"'oSa, "he'e they
wiz '',''in 10, up"a'us o' month
II. o. "yr",'.t 5Ii n'. Is "t lrpo I',Iy county,
T "''' i''!''" W a''''"' "e'NH'
i' nu,l' VI NV iorh' guest a' 'he
"Ume " h,' anu NrH' a. ~ h'''N'h'oh
70, ~ ., ' nuDoli'l'ii was !" 'T"n on NeuheS'
u"H lio.I ner summer HoHc at LAKE Arlel'
no'S"''y Dris' VI NC" io'N' y tlc guest
" Nv ""'''' "''''"''' H. OohnoF VI "'ps'er
NUu"''
DT' ana MIS-, ~ W. ntrat'on are at SouthoId'
- -, ".,olJ ~ '''"''o" WI" i'inaih ior the
Hens ,, siN "reAS,
MiSs = L Nei'L anu MISSES Mamie ana 'ar-
re 9on'e'n'G', o' A,'eh,o"n are Il'iuhg at the
i'sIu'"'' VI Nl' H. D. @eHupeIT OF PRESCOTT
me
MT ana MrS' W. H. Mc'IaNe went TO New
lork YESTERDAY 10 meet VT, ana MIS- H. o.
prooAs anu NiS' "llIaru hatthe"S' VINO are eN'
PeUteu noiiIT from EUROPE
"iili"in l1EEarl, lUrlh''ly OF 'hlS clty, nut
now nov a ",nuul T, VI 'nt eu.'oI'a' stan OF the
@ @hln anu i,NI,reSs' Vi Ne" iorh' Is IN 81 N'n'
'eht no9P',a' N'" ioiN' u''ns t'aled l"r ap,
Peiu'o,rls r,l ms p'o.hyr anu sister James ana
ha,e lass"r'' VI Nuipe'Iy street, are at MS
Oeuslue'
-,
W. H. Sauler anu iamily are at Lanesboro for
the summer
Mr. lAomaS sprague ana family VIII spend
august at Natch mn H. l.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

Miss Lizzie A. Evans is az Asbury Park
l.. W. Ross and family are at home from As.
bury Park.
+. H. Beers is enjoying a vacation at Wat.
kins, N. y.
J. L. Kemmcrcr is spending some time at
Upper Lchigh.
Miss Matte Thomas is spending a few weeks
in Rhode Island.
Mr.. and Mrs. A. d. Stele and daughter are
at Allenhurst, n. j.
Attorney and Mrs. George d. Taylor are on
trip to Nova Scotia.
7. T. Jones and family are at their country
place at Crystal Lake
Oscar d. Wolfe, Of Washington, u. c., is the
guest Of Scranton friends.
Miss Updcgraf, who has been the guest Of
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

C. GitIln, Westchester y. Y. Mr.. Lamplcy.
Eufalia, Ala; Mrs G. N. Gifln Mr.. George V.
Miller and wife, Miss Eva Miller; Mr.. F. L.
Van Sickle, Scranton; Miss Martin, Sidney, n. Y.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

"But that isn't ALL" he walled. yes
terday l sent up some nice fresh
cucumbers for lunch, l expected to see
them sliced thin, with cracked ice.
didn't see them, l asked wherefore. /
was informed that my wife and the
girls and her sister had used them in
washing their faces. But l declared,
Il wanted them for lunch and my wife
in the best possible humor assured me
that they were great deal better out
side Of a person than in, and she had
saved part of one to rub on my face,
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

Mr.. and Mrs. Arthur Dunn gave an
informal dance Tuesday night for Mrs.
N. +. Stahl and the Misses Stahl.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

Brown Of Lost River is the title Of a new
romance Of ranch life described as a singulary
vivid and fascinating story of the plains, which
is sh' 4, be published by d. Appleton Co.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21
A BEAUTIFUL

black and white costume seen at one Of the
leading hotels was of white chiffon with large
lace unaowcrs dropping from the waist by
long stems, and intermnGlcd with other flowers,
and also large and small black lace butterflies,
all apphqued on the chiffon. The large butter
hicS were near the lower edge of the skirt, while
the smaller were interspcrscd among the floral
designs near the belt. The waist had a round
chiffon gumpc, with similar ornamcntation on
the loose front. and short sleeves
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

Mr.. and Mrs. w. w. Scranton enter
tanned at dinner Wednesday night in
honor of Mr.. and Mrs. Nicol.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

w1 ANY LADIES who remained in
IWH the city during the swetering
IVA weather of the past week have
4 n felt compensated by the visit
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

Miss Hull gave a dancing party
Thursday night in honor of her guest,
Miss Upson, of Cleveland, o.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-07-21

DIR. and Mrs. Gardner will chaperon
a party of young people on the Della
ware river near Cadosia for the next
fortnight. Among the members are
Misses Katharine Pratt. Mabel Fritz,
May HaCkett, Beatrice Morris; Messrs.
Robert Gardner, Tudor Williams, VIII
Pierson, James Matteson, Edward CAL
lender.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-06-26
\ Running Platform.

We have no doubt that Senator Hanna
is correct in asserting that Mckinley and
Roosevelt viii be able to make a good
run en- the platform prepared for them
by him at Philadelphia, because it does
not suggest much besides run. Indeed,
the verdict of the country upon it is that
it runs from everything under the sun
that the Administration has been respon
sible for or identified with for the past four
years. with the exception of the Spanish
war. which needs no defence.
The platform is as dumb deaf mute
on the violation of our plain duty TO
Porto Rico and of the Constitution in
that connection. which has exposed Mr..
Mckinley ard his advisers to more Re-
publican criticism than any other of their
blunders or departures from right prin-
ciples." 1t "drivels" On the subject of the
Nicarauga Canal. which it is VIGOROUSLY
the intention Of the party management to
defeat if it can. in the interests of the
Panama boodlers and the trans-ccntnental
railway masnates. 1t pipes a little weak
note on tie woes of our merchant ma
rine." but does not dare to say direct
word in endorsement of the scheme to
loot the Treasury Of ninety million dollars
for the direct enrichment of ten or dozen
transportation trust magnates through the
Ship Subsidy bill. 1t mildly observes that
trusts which are not good and virtuous
will always appear otherwise to people
who think so Neyerfhaless the RenuhIi-
can party nuns its campaign on the money
contributeilbY the trusts, and has earned
that money by deycting all of its energies
to legislation for their benefit and to
subserviency TO their interests
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-06-26
THE ICE TRUST COMPLAINT.
Diminished by Grand Jury After Ex-
nmlninE Papers and Witnesses.

"h"AnshH fapefH nnu-"ttneSaeS.
NEW YORK, June 25.-The grand jury
dismissed today the complaint made
against the American Ice Company to the
effect that it is conspiring to create a
monopoly. The grand jury spent the en-
tire morning examining papers and wit
nesses and in the afternoon reported to
Judge Mcmahon in the general sessions
that there were no grounds for an indict-
ment.
The witnesses who appeared before the
grand jury were Walter Howard. n re-
porter for the Journal" r. A. Scott,
secretary Of the American Ice Company.
and Secretary Mcclure. of the Stock Ex-
change. The persons named in the COM
plant as defendants were Charles w
Morse. President OF the American Ice
Company, and David b. Hunt. John r.
Bennett. John d. Schoonmaker. Wesley ".
Oier, Charles B. Church, Edwin Campbell,
John Bauer, John L. Kavanaugh, and
Charles Devoe. Directors. To5-
Magistrate Zeller. in the Jefferson Mar
ket Police Court, held the men for trial
and the case went to special session.
whence it was transferred to general ses-
sions upon an application to the Supreme
Court made by the defendants counsel.
The hearing Of testimony against the
American Ice Company before Referee
Nusshaum was adjourned today until
Thursday morning at II o'clock