Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-06-03
Mr. BoWsER TRIBULATIoNs.


t0SfJ& A@t"f ~
1t had been arranged that Mrs. Bow
ser and the lady next door should at
tend to some church matters in the
evening and that the lady's 4-year-old
son should be the guest of Mr.. Bowser
and the cat for a couple of hours. The
little fellow looked around in a dubious
way as he was brought over, but fell
asleep before the ladies got away and
was tucked up on the lounge.
Don't you worry in the slightest
said Mr.. Bowser to the mother. IF he
happens to wake up, I'll do everything
to amuse him. / always loved child
rem, and they have always taken to
me. Bless his little heart. but I wish
he hadn't fallen asleep"
Five minutes later the front door
closed on his mother, and the boy
awoke. He didn't awake with the
languid gentleness of a rabbit, but all
of a sudden he sat up with a howl OF
alright. The howls ran from No. l
to No. II before Mr.. Bowser could real
! ize the situation, and the family cat.
who had been prowling around he
ROOM, maze a dive for the hall and APP
peared totally panic-stricken.
During the next ten minutes Mr..
Bowser tried hard to be a mother to
| that boy. He drummed on the piano,
knocked on the window and cavorted
about the room. He handed over his
watch, his wallet, his keys and his
knife. He ran to the kitchen for
sugar, tea, coffee, starch and baking
powder. Anything and everything was
at the disposal of that boy until he
ceased to howl and sob.
ME want story" he said as he dug
the tears out Of his eyes with his
fists.
y
Thereupon Mr.. Bowser told him the
following story: "Once upon a time
there was a bobtailed dog. He was
spotted. He was 8 years old. He low
ed bones and meat and fried oysters
and ice cream. He had no mother or
father, but was not a dog to do wick
ed things. He didn't swear or chew
CIR drink, and he was no liar. There
were dogs who wanted to fight him,
but he would not fight. When they
came around and said they could
knock his eyebrows off and roll him
in the mud, he jumped over the fence
and ran away Well, things went on
this way for a long time, and then
and then
=
And then the boy began bowling be-
cause there was no more bobtailed
dog. Mr.. Bowser got the cat in, but
the bowls continued; then he got
down on hands and knees and said he
was a horse, but that wouldn't work.
He got out a book with pictures, sang
"Rock-a-by Baby and whistled Yam
kee Doodle" and after ten minutes
work thrown away he was greeted
with that same fearful remark:
"Me want story"
Thereupon Mr.. Bowser, who had
wilted his collar and busted the straps
on his vest with his e%xertions, sat
down and began: There was once a
bear. He went around looking for
boys who cried. (Howls Of fear from
the boy.) No l mean he went around
locking for girls on roller skates. This
bear lived in the woods, and he was
not afraid of either man or guns.
Whenever he caught a boy (Howls.)
l mean, whenever he caught a girl he
would carry her off to mis- den and eat
her up in two mouthfuls. In one year
that bear ate UP 10000 girls. One day
when there we're no girls about and he
was very hungry he thought he would
eat a boy. lawful howls.) Hold on,
now! I'm going to tell 0 how the
UOy kllleU the DSdl. IOu oVO
x = i = =
But the boy refused to see. He'd
heard bear stories before, and he knew
that there was a screw loose some
where. He sat up and howled, and he
lay down and howled anu the cat fed
in terror, and Mr.. Bowser felt ehills go
up his back. There was some lively
drumming on the piano, more wild gal
lops around the room, more singing
and whistling. Exercise in a gymna-
SUM couldn't compare to it, but there
were only two ways to stop that howl
ing. The boy must be either choked to
death or hear another story.
y
Mr.. Bowser wasn't quite ready yet to
do murder, and SO he gaspingly began:
well, you know, there was once a boy
named Willie Scott. 1.-THE bowls ceas-
ed. He had a goat. 1t was a black
goat. You've seen a goat, of course.