Evening star., 1900-10-13
JoBSoN'S WINTER OUTFIT

was looking over ana airing your
heavy clothing today" remarked Mrs. job
son to Mr.. Jobson. after dinner one even
ing couple of weeks ago. Its in q
dreadful condition. / don't see how you
can wear that heavy overcoat another sea-
son. and the suits are impossible, too. You
will need an entire new outfit"
Mr.. Jobson sat up straight in his easy
chair and gazed at her as II he had just
caught her in the act Of putting arsenic in
his coffee.
'I'n need an entire new outfit. will r.
said he. THAT sounds nice-entirely new
outfit. That's probably the way Mrs Midas
and the Queen OF Sheba used to express
'emselves q few thousand years ago-entire
new outfit. Where's this entire new outfit
OF mine going to come from. pray?"
Well. you didn't get any new things at
all last year, you know. and the things are
mo. didn't get any new things last year
+ don't need to be reminded or that" in
tie possessions as possessed in the way of
needful warm clothing for the winter were
In good condition when I personally super
intended their putting away last spring.
known?
Tn sure the things haven't been touched
You hsven't been permitting the ash
OF 'em. have you? However. that's beside
the mark. I respectfully beg to inquire
once more where is this entire new outfit
that you speak Of In that frivolous, off,
hand. l. live in-the-basement-of-the
bob up fromT'
Well. I'm sure you ought to be able to
''Oh. you're sure. are you? I ought to be
able to afford stable Of racing automo-
biles. oughtn't /? BY the way. where did
you pick up the idea that I'm a national
campaign committee? Dye think that
look like q composite photograph of the
Side Comb Trust? Who has been trying to
tell you that I'm Coal OIL Johnnie in dis
gUise? What's the"
I'm sure 1t wouldn't cost you any such a
fabulous sum to"
mo. it wouldn't cost me any fabulous
sum, but what chance have I got to In
dulge myself with 25-cent polka dotted
necktie when there's hardly q minute of
the day or night that department store
delivery wagon isn't rattling up in front OF
this house and ladling out dozen or SO
Of bundles Of bargains that you've bought!
II you haven't spent 500 or $500 In your
raids on the bargain counters since We re-
turned from the seashore. then TIL
THAT is perfectly ridiculous. and you
know 1T Is. have purchased few little
things that I needed, but"
"'Entire new outfit sounds real lovely
and mellifuous, 80 1t does, but II you've got
any scheme in mind whereby I'll be able to
buy myself half q dozen collars and pair
Of 39-cent ear muffs when the bitter days
come along 1 just wish you'd put the same
in writing and let me look 1t over. that's
ALL What's the matter with these heavy
clothes Of mine. anyhow?
WELL" replied Mrs. Jobson, looking as II
she wished she hadn't said anything about
heavy clothing. 1.-The things are just worn
out, that's all, and, beside In spite OF
everything could do. the moths got into
them and
"Oh, the moths got into 'em. eh?" cut In
Mr. Jobson. 'I suppose the moths chewed
up the half a barrel Of moth balls and the
twenty or thirty pounds of camphor that
l bought to scatter around those duds-
Don't you remember expressly telling
me when I put the things away when the
weather grew warm not to put any motn
balls or camphor with them-that you hated
the smell of moth balls and camphor, and
that when you got a closed street car
wearing clothes that had been packed away
In those preservatives you felt like re-
tention hospital for typhus or yellow fever
patients. and that
who me? Never made use OF any SUCH
gibberish from the day Of my birth. How
ever. 1 am not going to permit you to pur-
posely lead me into g. lot Of argufying IN
this matter. I'm not going to put myself
in the way Of going to jail for debt. as Ia
have to do II bought that entire new out
At or any part Of 1t that you speak OF so
gaily, and"
But I do so like to see you looking
"Oh, yes. know you are worried almost
foolish about the way look" snorted Mr..
Jobson. You just can't get the slumber
coming to you. you fret SO much over the
I've been going out of and coming in this
house looking like hack driver or a bot
tles-and-rags dealer virtually since I've
been married in order that you should be
able to dress like Mrs. Potter Palmer, I
guess I can 60 right along the same old
way"
On the first chilly evening Mr.. Jobson
suddenly looked up at Mrs. Jobson and re-
by the way. I'll have to be donning
some heavier togs before long. Have I
got any heavy clothes that are decent and
fit to wear, and what kind O. shape are
they in?'
I'll bring them down. said Mrs. job
son. and q few moments later she stagger-
ed into the sitting room under the weight
Of three of Mr.. Jobson's back-number
heavy suits and his two overcoats one
medium weight and the other heavy. 1t
was disreputable pile of clothing, wrin-
kled, moth-eaten and frayed. Mr.. Jobson
spread one Of the suits out over the back
glance Of scorn, shifted, and then impaled
Mrs. Jobson with his gaze.
''Madsm," he inquired in q hoarse,
smothered voice, do you mean to DELHI
would permit your husband to exhibit him
self on the thoroughfares Of Washington
arrayed in such rags as these? Do you
seriously want me to convert myself into
such a living picture as these moth-deso-
lated strips of cloth would"
II told you a while ago." interrupted Mrs
Jobson, that you would need an entire new
outfit, and"
You told ne that?" suffered Mr. Job
son. "Was I under the influence Of opiates
at the time? I must ha been, and here
you calmly dump this batch of miserable
threadbare raiment before me and insist
with all the strength Of your lungs that I
get another season out Of it and be glad to
Mrs Jobson, and I'm going right down
town as soon as get out of bed tomorrow
morning and order $500 worth Of heavy
clothes for myself, and If you so much as
uplift an eyeld over the expenditure
there'll be separation case in the District
courts that'n just tear the city of Wash
ington to it's foundations, and just you re-
member what I've saidp'