Evening journal., 1900-03-29
HuMoR OF The DAY.
Georeie Tells How Pa Spent a Day
on the Farm.


on the Farm.
Me and the pupp and nav and paw
ana little albert went out in the coun-
try a Satardy to visit unkle Henrys.
UnlSle henry is maw's bruther and
wunst him and Her was little boys
md gurls like me and little albert and
Unlle Henry Sed nav Yoost to Run
around in Her Bair feet and Cline
trees and Fall out of the Hay in the
Barn and skin the Cat jist like a Boy.
I'm offel sorry Herd that about nav
Becos l Can't hardly keep on Thinkin
She's a nangel emmy more l Wisht She
would of Bin n nice little gurl With
Dimpuls in Her Cheeks and Curls
Down her back and always kept Her
Dress Clean and Didn't never make
snoots OF people. Sumtimes when 1
think about it almost Haft to Weap.
Before we went paw He was tellin
us all about the CRATE things he ust
TO Do when He lived on a Farm. It's
q wonder people Didn't come from
miles around to See paw
So when we Got out paw He thot He
would Sho us how to milk COW and
Unkle Henry Give him n pale and a
Stool with only One Laig what paw
had to Ballunce himself on.
They was n nice Sad l0oken cow
what was all Black with White
Stripe around WHARF Wimmin Waire
thare corset and Unkle Henry told
paw she was as Gentle as a lam, so
paw took off his cote and cuffs and let
nav Hold them and pulled up His
Sleaves and Set Down on the Stool
with one laig and Held the pale Be
tween His nees and Grabbed Hold
with Both Hands.
The furst stream shot out WHARF
paw wasent lookin fer it and went all
over His Best pants and nav she Be
gin to jaw and Told him he couldn't
afford TO Go and room His close jist
to sho off.
"Oh, Don't make a Fuss about moth
in" paw says. "That won't hurt You
can take it out with little gas n lean.
You Couldn't expect n person what
was all out of practus to Set rite Down
and do this as good as if He was Keep
In at it Every Day. But I'll Be all rite
IN a minute or two"
About that time the cow wanted to
mock q fly off Her side, so she switched
around and got her tale mixed up with
paws mustash and paw He had to
spit as Hard as he Could fer quite a
while, and he fergot to milk
Then he begun agin and His hand
Slipt and the Stream Hit nav jist be-
low the Ear and run down inside Of
her collier. Nav she yelled and Dropt
pew's cuffs, and the pupp thot it was
the Cows folt so he made Grab at
her heels and the Cow Slept on paws
foot and the stool with one laig went
over Backwards and the milk what
/ so 10 fn 10 o.,
! under His vest when He was layin
thare with his feet in the air and a
Look on his fails what made me Think
Of the Dying gladdyator in the pick
ture.
"Oh, paw" nav hollered, "why was
you sich a fool as to try it,"
Cit away from me-" paw sed when
nav wanted to help Him to Git up
IF it haden't of Bin fer you this would.
ent of Happened. If you would have
| stayed in the House Where wimmin
belong they wouldent of Been no trub
BILE"
BY that Time he was on his feat Sc
the pupp was LoOkin up in His fails
and wagin His tale kind of pleasant
and paw Hauld off and Give a Kicl
ut Him. But the pupp wasent tharC
when paws foot Reached the plac,
and the Straw He was standin an was
purity slippery.
l don't know whether the damage
to paws pants or His shOalder Blaidi
was the most turrable
Ennyway he was a nOfful lookin sit'
when we got Him to the House anC
nav Had to almost Weap every tim'
She looked at His pants. He only wor'
them wunst before. So he had to Go t
Bed whilst nav was tryin to Git th'
milk off and sow them so the laig
would stay together. I pOked my He,
In the Room WHARF he was laying reed
I'm the Bible to pass away the Tim
and Says:
paw"
"What| paw asst.
Il Bet no How you can git richie
than If you Discovered a Gold mine
How" he says.
by Bildin a Fence around YOursel
and Chargin folks to Git in Every tim
you try to do ennything."
could tell by what he said that
was lucky paw Couldent come outside
-GeOrgie, in Chicago Times-Herald.