Evening star., 1900-12-22
MEAN MANS CUNNING

w Heu tnlS nUSDdnQ ana Iatner got nome
from his office on Thursday afternoon last.
his countenance wore the lines of suffering.
He saluted his wife with deep sigh. and
his hand shook as he hung his hat and
coat on the rack. OF course she imme-
diately noticed his state.
''Why, you look ill"' she exclaimed, So
licitously.
"Well,'' he replied, with the wan smile of
the husband and father who is endeavoring
to keep his family from worrying over his
serious, if not probably fatal, illness. Il
can't say that l am feeling exactly right.
-
"Why, your hand is shaking like any
thing. and your face looks drawn and sal
low, said She laying her hand upon his
forehead. And you are feverish too
Well he replied, topping weakly into
chair, Il may feel feverish. but am sim
ply freezing, for all that. In short. my
dear, m afraid I've got dose of chilis
and fever. Came near shaking right out of
my shoes at the office this afternoon, and
right in front of hot crate fire, too
Why, you poor old abused thing, you!"
said she. why didn't You come right
home?"
Well" he replied. gazing out of the
window with far-away look, II didn't
want to let You know that 1 felt bad, you
see I've been looking forward with so
much anticipation to our evening tours
among the shops during this short. glad
period before Christmas that hated to
give up. you know. l thought I'd hold out
as long as possible without letting you
know anything about how ill l was. But
I'm afraid it's no use, my dear. When
this malaria takes a-hold of me it drives
all of the energy out of my frame-and it
looks as If | am not booked to go on those
delightful little Christmas shopping tours
with you this year"
Now, don't you mind about that at all,
john" said she "Of course | love to have
you with me when I am hlIyinp tho preS.
ents, because you are such a dear, good
liberal old thing, and then you can carry
such an awful lot Of bundles in those big
arms OF yours'-tapping him playfully on
the cheek-"but l wouldn't dream Of ask
ing you, or even permitting you. to go
around among the crowded stores with
me when you feel bad. Did YOU fetch
some quinine home with you?
Yes; he replied in tired tone "but
the stuff seems to make me feel even worse
and L am in hopes that If l go to bed and
nave good nights rest, maybe I'll be able
to get around among the stores with you
tomorrow, as we intended, and
. Now, my dear, you shall do nothing Of
the sort she interrupted. ''You shall go
right to bed. and l shall fix you up four or
five nice hot toddies, and you shall read the
magazines until you get sleepy, and tumor-
row morning and the day after if you still
feel bad, you shall just stay around home
IN your smoking jacket and slippers and
take 1t easy. OF course. it Is an awful dis
appointment to me that you shall not
be able to help me do the Christmas shop
ping, but it is simply unavoidable. I'll get
my sister to accompany me- and I shall
nave ali the bundles delivered. and we shall
nave no trouble at all about the presents"
Whereupon she put him to bed and made
toddles for him, and filled his pipe for him,
and made top-notch little soups and things
for him, and waited upon him in great
shape He still felt weak and depressed
spent couple Of hours in waiting on him
before she started down town to begin the
Christmas shopping. He didn't feel any
better this morning, either. he said and
When she started down town to resume the
Christmas shopping where she left off last
night she left him gazing sadly out Of the
front window, with the expression of Napo-
leon at St Helena. Three minutes after
she mad started, however. one of his busi-
ness friends. who happened to be driving
by In buggy, dropped in. He found the
husband and father smoking a long, black
cigar.
Hello"' said the visitor "I heard you
were sick. You're a dickens of a cheerful
looking sick man-pulling on cigar strong
enough to give Cuban vertigo"
"Oh, that's all right. pal" said the main-
gerer. srinning cheerfully and passing his
friend the decanter. But if you think
you're going to see me doing any flying
wedges through the packed aisles Of the
department stores during this glad Yule-
tide, or trying to help my wife street
cars while my arms are full of Christmas
trees, and potted rubber plants, and dry
6''us poAes, ana pdles anu pdrFe.S, ana gear
like that. you've got to have a lens in your
telescope that'll bring the planet Neptune
within half mile of the earth, and you
hear me a-talking!'
"By jing!" exclaimed the malingerers
friend. but this is a foxy move on your
part! Wonder why 1 didn't have enough
gumption to frame UP dodge of the same
kind? My wlfes had me present buying
with her for three afternoons and nights,
and I've got my work blocked out for me
until next Monday midnight!'
We'll here's hoping you'll be next to
ourself next Yuletide." said the malingerer,
and they had another one.
The low cunning of some married men is