Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-11-11
mr.. DcoIey on the Romantic Ilovel.
e.. T..

Rx F. e. DUNNE.

makes no difference which. People
will believe anything about thin
States. IT'S not ESSENTIAL that he shud
be frind iv George Wash nton but he
ought to be. TIL number iv frinds
George had It's wondher he wasn't
ilicted Prisidint forty years befure he
wint in. Well, sir, this la-ad is tn
greatest thing that ever happened.
He rides horses that make a broncho
buster think he was settin in a rock
in chair beside tn fire; he can shoot
tn eye out iv the Goddess of Liberty
on a dollar as far as he can see a
dollar, an that's as far as tn human
eye can reach; he's tn greatest soords-
man that liver lived; he's as larned as
tn libraryan iv tn circulatin library;
an he can thrack tn dusky savage tc
his lair be tn dents his moccasins
make on tn autumn leaves. But e's
picked up all these things in t. dark,
mind we. He's told no wan. Ony
Jooboob, his nayger slave IN Umim-
umimipapa, tn faithful Indyun chief
Harvard $40 knows what tn la-ad
can do. But tn r-reader is on an It's
tn business iv tn romancer TO keep
putin champions iv all these games
again TIL unknown. First come first
served; give or take tin pounds: white
or r-red. Lord Philip Flutters, tn best
soordsman at tn coort iv King Mike l.,
insults tn flag iv his country :tn' tn
boy sticks him through tn ves. TIL
Indyuns bust into tn settlemilt an
with wild savage yells murdher women
an childher. DARN Dick chases thin
to tn distant woods an sthrews tn
ground with tn LAWNS iv thin TIL
R-right Rivrend Aloysius Moses Nc
Glew, ID. D., Phi. D., G.. p. A, at
timpts to put him out iv tn business
on tn question iv whether Lamarxus
or what-d' ye-call him said So an
Dick proves be quotations firm tn
wurruks iv Mux Appendicitis an tn
larned Sozdolajinus iv Athens that
such is not tn case. He does all this
FIR tn love iv a beautiful girl an to
sell tn book. Does tn girl love him?
She does, faith. Says he: Dye love
me, Mary ANN She says: With all
tn wealth iv me young heart 'Gawd
help me- says he. L will force We to
care FIR me An he goes on Dustin
,.orses an KILN his frinds. No way
like that to win girl What a woman
needs ar-round tn house is not a good
provider, but a husband that can break
amy horse that comes nosin at tn
dure.
We'll, afther this la-ad has won tn
weiter weight championship iv Mary
land an Virginia, tn National Sport
in Club iv London asts him to cross
over an thry out some iv tn best
there. Just as he's steppin' off tn boat
he meets tn king. IT'S sthrange how
tn heroes iv them romances was al
ways bumpin into monarchs. Kings
must nave been as common as cab
men. Get out iv me way says tn
king, givin' him rile kick. What
boots It, says TIL gallant young Amer
lean crossin' tn king to tn pint iv TIL
jaw. 'Whinizads, but it fares i'll with
amy cotchen fodder tooth iv mon
archy,' he says, that hists an Ameri-
can citizen, he says. Who is yon
fearless divvle?' says tn king to wan
iv his gang. 'Granmercv. but he's
made me rifle face to ache like it has
not since dashin' Nelly Glim won me
love be bastin' me with an orange
basket. says he. That's Dick PLAY
hell, tn American welter weight saws
tn courtyard. He's a weller weight
all fright says tn gay monarch.
TN have to take him ar-round an in
thrajooce him to tn la-ads,' he saws.
So he carries him off to a gin mill
where tn king done his dhrinkin in
thin days an inthrajooces him to
Willum SHAKESPEARE, Charles James
Fox, Queen Victorya. Impror willum.
Alexander TIL Gr-reat, Joolyus Caesar.
Willum Jennings Bryan, Robert Fitz-
simmons, Punchus Pilot Lord CUTIE
an all tn gr-reat heroes Nv antikity
who ar-re shakin dice FIR tn drinks.
an he makes hares iv all iv thin at
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