The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-07-15
Fun Of the World.

Fun OF the World.
When Queen Victoria was at Balmo-
raj. some time ago. she visited an aged
eottager. and. on leaving her. said; on
Will now no longer Dc afraid OF me, ana
l shall expect you TO paw ne visi'-
An, ma an. she replied. its net your
self I'm frightened at; Ks them grand
servants"
sz gz
certain professor in a northern uni
With tier taTdiress III arriving a Ills
Classroom al the proper hour in the
morning Gentlemen. said ne. BY way
OF stimulating their laxisy. the Roman
youths swan three times across the r.
Der before commencing their morning
studies WHAT are yea smiling at, sir-'
demanded the professor OF a youth who
was evidently licked hy the recital
Wen, SIR, said The thoughtful Scot.
4 was just thinking that x the Roman
youths swan three times across the Ii
Der. they must have let their clothes
on the wrong side Of the river!''
sgg
a veritable irritable man left his house
one morning 10 attend race meeting
some distance. In order thar he migne
have enough money to pay ho.el bill
he tied q sovereign IN the corner Of his
handkerchief. In the train he dew rs
handkerchief from his pocket and no.
ticed the knot IN the corner. ''N0w,"
said 10 himself, what was IL / wisatd
10 remember" Much thought failed 10
envghten him upon the point. ana az
last in a III of passion ne hurled ne
handkerchief out Of the window Then
he remembered
x K x
At campmeeting there we're elderly
women sitting al the front IN oak-split
We found out later that
they comprised the choir. for when the
parson gave out the hymn. "Oh. for a
thousand tongues to praise" one of
these eidery females tried t. raise"
the tune.
"Oh-fora-' She had struck the h'ga
c. and her voice cracked. She cleared
her throat and began again. "OA-for-a
and she was an octave low
while her voice sounded as Il { was
lost in her boots. just then q defurct
stock broker in the crowd Of listeners
jumped to his feet and cried out: start
her at Ave hundred. old lady, and see
if you can't shove her Off"
x 8a
The striking resemblance between Ger
eral Benjamin Harrison and Congress-
man Grosvenor, the famous poii al
prophet has been remarked by Just a.
many people as have seen the two men
Beth are dish-faced. The main differ
ence is in the eyes, Grosvenor's being
those Of a squirrel one day caller
in the copgressman's apartments II the
Dewey, Washington. was asked what ne
thought of a large cTayon portrait that
had just been presented 10 the Athens /
1t certainly is good like
ness, general" was the reply but YOU /
know / never did have any use for a
1ish-faced man. II may be prejudice, /
but that is one OF the reasons Why I /
never could get along with him. But K /
IS a splendid likeness, q speak /
ing likeness" Grosvenor, astouuded al I
the frankness or the criticism. asked: /
What do you mean by 'him?' Why. |
President Harrison, of course. Didn't /
you ask what ! thought of the picture?''
That isn't Harrison; it's me-Grosve- /
nor" Tableau. apologies
& R8
In a certain skirmish a Colonel -
general he came to call hmselD got /
| slight scratch on his leg. The wound /
was matter of great glory 20 him. ana /
he nursed 1t through after days. grow n I
amer with every year that the memory /
# his bravery might ever be near him /
One day, late in his Hfe. as he sat /
iursing his leg and pondering the glo-
toUs past, a young man, visiting the
amily for the first time. approached ana
remarked:
Lame, General?
Yes, sir" after a pause. and with in
solemnity; Il am lame"
Been riding, sir?"
No" with rebuking sternness, y
lave not been riding"
''Ah, slipped on the ice. GeneraI?"
mo, sir with actual ferociiy
Perhaps, then, you have sprained your
mike. sir?'
With painful slowness the old man
fitted his pet leg in both hands. set It
arefuIly on the floor. rose slowly from
Is chair. and. looking down upon the
Unfortunate youth with mingled pity and
th, burst forth in the s1blimiiy OF
age:
Go read the history Of your country.
GU puppy
q x
A namesake Of Senator German four
ears old, was being shown Of" by his
iolatress mother the other day. wha n
he minister was calling. and was asked
, tell the story II the Savi ur's birth
lie tod about the shepherds and n
ar. and the manger and tn bossy COWS
rat looked reverently at the Christ
HID as they chewed their cud, and !
lade beautiful picture with his child ,
n tongue. Then. Of course. the minis
r must ask some questions Bh.ca the /
1ld answered bashfully Il
And what was Jesus mother namzd7" ;
sked the minister /
The title one hesitated while Re search-
his memory. and his adoring mauma q
1deavored 70 help him cut
Don't you remember Jesus uotrer. !
3riing;' she said. Don't you reuern-
er her picture her 3eaut fUI picture.
.e blessed mother that loves babies 50 :
e.j2 VIVA; was Jesus mothers uame2 /.
eli me darling"
\ smile q intelligence iIumlned ihe
tie one's fare and be exclaimed IN /,
luraph.
Mother Goose"
EE *
Il was during the silver an8 gold cam I &
.lEn q los that an IndIaua congress e
an came hauo from a tour - zneees-
akng f7r Ar. Mckinley. lie vas ajai
get home - his v5re-ciad csttages (.
al to get away from tae reYer-en6l re 7
scuss}aR q the coiuaRe II silver at fhs
to q Is - J. re wansc5 T. 60 IRE
om tae hated question f5r q week a.
asst
HIS 4-year-cif Eirl 9 w.assn1e and intel .
.srt miss ran ~ meet hfn leaving
r. playmate a: tae rafe This rIay- .
ate waR ire f-yrsr-5lf 5aezater ~ .
noczatic neiEA1sr. az active Dosficias
ned schultz
ooh papa SAD tse csazfessusaa.a =
.aEhtEr. elssptag fis a@Fk y Ease
mci1fHv Ereaffsl e. tai u 81
1Tay. waat g. e.. ms lsarF' he -
ed ;esaer5y -zt gnz Ee- eeeG 'Yog -
ven't Ser youtself nave yg -
or nc .t+s uaree sHaH faat e.