Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1900-09-22
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wise man can answer; amt that soF
Il can't answer you."-Indianapolis
Journal.
Help! help" cried the man who was
being robbed. calm yourself" said
the highwayman, Il don't need any as
sistance. "-Exchange.
An art criticism: "She'd look better
without so much powder and rouge on"
Eyes. She isn't so bad as she's paint
ed. '-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Mrs. Oatcake (reading newspaper
There are $4,000 Poles in Philadelphia.
Farmer Oatcake-Gracious. What 8
place to raise beans!-Philadelph Rec
ord.
How long have they been keeping
house," "Well. l understand they
usually keep one until the landlord in
sists on having the rent."-Philadel-
phia Bulletin.
Freddie-It's always In damp places
where mushrooms grow, isn't ii, papa!
Papa--Yes, my boy. Predicts that
the reason they look like umbrellas
papa It'd Bits.
Physician giving adyice)-Lastly. Nc
CORY, don't go to sleep on an empty
stomach. McGorry (who is ailing)-No
danger av thot docthor; Oh always
Shape on me back.--Bazar.
An Explanation You referred to
your friend as dead game sports
man?" Yes; he always buys his birds
In the market. Dead game is his spe-
cialty. Washington Star.
Muggins-My wife insists upon hav-
Ing the last word. Buggins-You're
lucky. In the bright lexicon of my
wife's vocabulary there is no such word
as ast.-Philadelphia Record.
The Missionary-My erring brother,
have you been Christianized? The Ma
tive-Not completely. They have COB
bled all my land but still have my few
clothes.-Indianapo Journal.
Don't be afraid. Willie! Tigers al.
ways roar when it's time for them to be
fed" "Oh, amt afraid, grandpa.
Papa makes a worse row than that
when dinners late at home. "-Jugend.
Lady of the house Ito applicant for a
placeJ-"Why did you leave your last
place" Servant-"Once l was caught
listening at the door" Lady-"Oh,
what did you hearY Blat-
ter.
How did you manage to escape hay
fever this year, ClaraY Il didn't.
Papa managed it," "Howw He said
he couldn't raise the money to send
me to the mountains. New York
World.
Bride Throwing her arms about the
bridegroom's neck)-You are my pris-
oner for life. Bridegroom-Its not i'm
prisonment for life, love; it's capital
punishment.-Sydney Town and County
Journal.
Mrs. Wiltby-"I am afraid baby isn't
well, dear" Wiltby-"What makes
you think SOP" Mrs. Wiltby-"He
hasn't had anything the matter with
him so long that I'm getting real wor-
ried."-Puck.
An evaSive answer: Bankcr-"BefOre
| accept you as sutton for my daugh-
ter, l should like to know how yon
stand politically. Now, am for gold"
SuitOr-"Thats what I'm after, sir!'-
Town Topics.
The Military Obsession: Superinten-
dent-Yes, and where did John the Bap-
fist live? Scholar-In the desert. Su-
perintendent-Quite right! And what
do we call people who live in the desert?
Scholar-Deserters.- Brooklyn Life.
Tired Observation-Disclosures, will you
please help a poor, homeless man out
of his troubles" Madam (who was
raised in the backWoods) Certainly?
Would you rather be shot or hit on tho
head with an aX"-NOrristOwn Herald
Mrs. Bugg-"If you keep on being so
unreasonable l shall just have to go
home and live with mamma" Mr..
Bugg-"Stay, my dear, | cannot be un-
reasonable enough TO consign you to
such a cruel fate. "-Philadelphia Bull
letin.
Jones called up his first wife at the
seance last night, and what do you
think he said to herr" said Smith.
Goodness knows" replied Brown. He
asked her if she would give his second
wife her recipe for mincemeat." Pick
Me-Up.
The Parting: She-Henry, dearest,
have at last discovered that l love
gou. He-Ah, you have heard, then,
that my uncle has died and left me
$1,000. She-Sir, after that remark we
must part forever! l heard it was fifty.