The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-08-17
SPINNING WHEEL.

GEE: WHEN! MY!
Hottest weather ever see
I'd give l YUM half the pelf I've got
Fer IN hour two in some ere spot
Where twaSn't more'n one-half as hot.
Gee!
Takes the tuck right out O YOU.
Old suns got right down ter biz:
Fairly makes the old earth SiZZ.
70 beat all how hot it is.
Whew.
can't work-hain't goiu ter try.
Collars wilted lies down fiat.
Sweat till vets a drownded rat.
Ny: ~ - Buffalo News.
The following, from Tit-DitS. is al ul-
reported incident before one OF the COM
miSSicners appointed to inquire into IL
certain election petition:
"NhAt is your name"
"Grnr%c Jones'.
"N,A, what DO YOU know Of this"
"Nn the day, of the election | went
u the Spotted Dog
What did You 1here?''
Il seed Il man.
"Nril, what did he do?"
"llr gave me 5 shilIings, and said as
how was to vote for -
"Weil. did you vote for Mr.. -- -
mo. sir.
what did YOU do then?"
went to the Ing and WhstIt.'
"Wcll--there?
'Ihcrc | seed another man."
He gave me ) shilling< and said !
WAS to vote for -"
And did YOU vote:'
'\o, sir
What did YOU do then?''
Il went to the Red Lion.''
And there?'
"There seed Il man, too."
land did he i've YOU ; >hillnys and
tell YOU to vote for Mr. --:''
He did So"
And did you?'
mo. sir.
"Nhy, here, on your own admission.
you have obtained - shilling, 10 vote
at all?" :,
"\o. SIR
''Why not?'
"RccauSc amt got no vote; It's my
father, George Jones, who's an certor. "
One day Il gentleman called at the Of
flee Of certain newspaper and said to
the editor:
+n .,Sif; it lis is announced in your paper
We'll" replied the editor, If it is in
our paper it is correct.''
1T is not correct, for here I am alive ~
rejoined the other.
We'll, it can't be helped" said the cd
itor.
But I expect you to contradict it,
said the injured man.
\r lo bat
tor. las we never contradict anything
that appears in our paper. I will do the
only thing I can do. Tomorrow l will
put you in the. list of births. ~ london
Spare Moments.
\ portly gentleman, whose somewhat
scanty hair was slightly tinged with gray,
boarded Madison avenue car at TWEEN
ty-third street the other day, says the
Brooklyn Times. His clothes were OF
good material and modest in color His
face was massive, the nose being pointed
just a tri1e toward the chin His mus
tache, which was brown, partly covered
his lAOuth, and there was Il very prO-
nounced double chin that showed unlnis-
takably between a wide open collar
This tendency to obesity was not CON
hned to the chin, for when the owner
turned around it was noticed that there
was wrinkle in the flesh at the point
where the neck and head met, which was
not altogether hidden by the few re-
naming locks Of hair.
All Of the seats were occupied and the
gentleman supported himself with aneb-
ony cane. He rode standing for several
blocks WITHOUT attracting particular at.
tention. until man sitting in front of
him leaned toward his nejghbor and SAID:
''Ihat,s ex-Pres;dcnt Cleveland
1T iS?' asked the other. ARE Won ccr-
tain?'
Yes, am rertain.'' whispered the
first speaker. i've seen him too often
/ think III offer him my Svat.'
Suiting his actions to his words, tine
have my seat STRIP" he asked.
Itch danke schon," responded the ap-
parent eX-presdnnt, "nein.' Whereas
the man who had offered the seat sat
down again and said something abo1t
somebody being a -- fool.
The judge of Western court decided
q point adversely to a certain lawyer.
The lawyer was stubborn, and insisted
that the judge was wrong.
Il tell you that l am right" yelled the
judge, with flashing eyes.
Il tell YOU that you are not"' retorted
the counsel.
"Crier" yelled the Judge, Il adjourn
the court for ten minutes.''
He pitched into the counsel, and, after
lively little fight, placed him hors de
combat, after which business Was re-
sumed. But it was not long before an
other misunderstanding arose.
"Crier'' cried the judge, 1--WE will adj
Journ this time for twenty milutes.'
"Neyer mind, judge,' cried the counsel,
keep on your coat-thc point is yielded
My thumbs out of joint, and I've
sprained my shoulder. "-Sparc Moments
THE man with a slight fresco of yellow
mud on his shoes stopped the patent
leathered friend and exclaimed:
''Ha, ha!'
whats the trOuble?