davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Limitations Of Wealth.

The magnificent Metropolitan Club
of New York City has been obliged to
make the humiliating admission that
the patronage of its 1,062 members is
not sufficient to pay its running ex-
penses.
The announcement conveys a pain.
full revelation of the sad condition of
millionaire existence The outside
world, wanting in wealth, is prone to
consider riches as the source and sum
of all happiness, especially of the en-
joyment of the good things of life. 1t
pictures the fortunate millionaire in
an ideal existence of Capuan luxury
and Sybaritic indulgence
The melancholy truth is that the
average millionaire has disordered
stomach, torpid liver, or a weak
heart, and does not enjoy the society
of his fellow plutocrats. Instead OF
feasting like Sardanapalus. he care.
fully lunches on graham crackers and
milk
single indulgence In terrapin and
champagne would probably separate
him and his millions forever. He is
usually in bed at 10 o'clock with a pill
box close at hand. a hot-water bag at
his feet and flannel nightcap on his
bald head.
The average wage Garner in New
York may earn from s12 to $40 a
week, but he has to keep his stomach
In good order to earn his money, and
with his health--of body and of con.
science--he certainly gets more fun
out of life than the average million.
aire clubman.--New York World.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
A MATTER OF LUCK.
When We Disregard One Sign We Be.
lieve In Another.

When a business man was starting
on short journey recently his wife
called him aside.
William" she said, earnestly,
don't you think of going to-day. Put
II OF till tomorrow or next week
Something awful will happen If you
disregard my advice and | know it."
What's the matter with you? Been
having dreams or consulting one of
these second sight frauds
mo, dear. but this is Friday and 1t
Is simply inviting trouble to make a
start on Friday"
ooh, pshawl Will you never get
over such foolishness? What's the day
got to do with it? Honest, it makes
me tired-thls everlasting superstition
and belief in signs. If paid attention
to all such things we'd starye, for I'd
have no time to do business. Put all
of them out of your head, little one.
I've had just as good luck on Friday
as any other day, and the only serious
accident | ever had was on Monday,
| can't disarrange my plans just to
humor whim I'll come back just as
safe and sound as | leave. Goodbye"
He went and she sat in the bay
window looking just as disconsolate
as though her worst fears had been
realized At the end of twenty minutes
she saw her husband hurrying toward
the house. carrying his hat in his
hand and hopping his forehead. She
ran to the door. pale with apprehen-
sion.
What is it, William? Tell me,
quick | can bear anything as long
as you are all right"
Where's that old blue vest? That
lucky dime of mine is in one of the
pockets. Id stay at home before I'd
60 without it."-Detroit Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
london Meat.

Little more than q half of the bill
that London settles every year goes
into the pocket of the English farmer
From the ends Of the earth comes this
vast supply This great ogre of city
of ours before whose gastronnmic eff
forts the feats of all the giants OF leg
end and fairy tale fade into Insignia
eanee. has taken his toll of the wild
ranehers from boundless Western prai
Yies, of the beautiful chestnut-colored
herds of the Andalusian Mountains. of
the piebald-cOated cattle that the hon
est Dutch tend as their own children,
and of the sturdy oxen OF the North
German plains, says Gasselis Maya
zine. Canada and Australia send US
lambs and sheep, the River Platte our
OK tongues, Hamburg and Rotterdam
our pigs What an advertisement for
the Navy Leaguel What an object
lesson for those who declare our feet
Is oyergrown!
1t passes human comprehension to
think what would become of London
if our command of the sea were lost
and the foreign supplies failed If the
1900 live cattle from America that
swell the metropolitan cattle herd dur
ing the year never reached their des-
tination; If Hollands half million of
sheep were forced to remain on the
home pastures--in short, If the 40 600
tons of meat, neither bred nor fed in
these islands, that London annually
consumes, ceased to appear in the but
ehers' shops Of the metropolis.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20

And now of the chances of success
and promotion in this naval life ANY
enlisted man may win warrant This
means the uniform. pay aud position
of a warrant officer, with the privi-
lcge OF retirement at the age of sixty
two years a position of honor and
trust, and comfortable salary for
life Good conduct and honorable.
faithful service will win this. and in
winning 1t You may perhaps he lucky
enough 10 go with 81 IIobson of Mer-
rlmac. | remember perfectly how |
sentenced Murphy, seaman, of the
Iowa TO death. as | thought, when,
after volunteering for the job, | Sc
lected him to go with llobson on his
daring trip. Twenty officers and six
hundred men had volunteered In res
ponse TO the signal from Admiral
Sampson. 81 want volunteers to sink
How many do you WANT" the an-
swer came, zone seaman" But how
to select the one out of all the gallant
fellows who We're SO anxious 10 go?
Eventually heads or tails decided in
favor of Murphy, an those who saw
his face will never forget his smile
and the shake of his head rs the Of
fers came. Fifty dollars for your
chance. Murphy" zone hundred ana
fifty. Murphy" 1t was worth many
days of hardship to be Murphy 1t
WIS worth many long night watches
TO have chance to he Murphy. Aud
think what il must have been to sit
In the boat with Cameron Wilson
when that gallant chap cut the cables
of Cieufuegos. Only ninety yards to
the shore fifteen hundred Spanish in.
fantry and several machine guns.
making the MauSers sing and the wa.
ter foam, yet they sat still, the brave
boys In the blue shirts. aud sawed
away on the cables until the job was
done Some died. and many viii carry
sears to their graves for that days
work. but wasn't ii worth halt life
time of hardship to be one of them?
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
THE DRYEST STATE
RAIN FALL VARIES FROM THREE TO
TWENTY FIVE INCHES A YEAR

The People Do Not Concern Them
selves Much About the Rain, But
They Have a Fine System of Irri-
cation.
Arizona has some timber in the
mountains and grass in the valleys,
but these grow in spite of the fact that
Arizona is in the dryest part of the
United States. Even within the bound
aries of this one territory, however, the
rainfall varies from over twenty-five
inches year at Camp Goodwin in the
mountains TO three inches year at
Yuma on the desert. Twenty-Five inch
es of rainfall a year means, perhaps.
possible crop. Three inches n year
means no water at all. The people of
Arizona do not, therefore, concern
themselves much with rain. They talk
about it once in a while, and on occa-
sions an inch or two comes down in
a solid chunk and is called II cloud
burst, but such rainfall has little re-
lation to the possibilities of the soil
from productive point of view.
The settler in Arizona first seeks run
ming water. and then with confidence,
settles himself upon the land and
straightWay proceeds to get rich, for
running water upon Arizona soil is like
unto gold mine-it produces wealth.
This has been the system ever since
the memory of man, for there are Art
iona bitches which are nearly 400
years old. and the present generation Is
not quite sure what manner of people
dug them.
1t is within the memory of man, how
ever, when Arizona was almost
traekles desert, oyerrun with fierce ana
warlike Indians and 1t is within the
memory of even the children of All
IONA that all this has changed; deserts
have been made to bloom and all waf-
like Indians have either been sent 10
the happy hunting grounds OF are used
for exhibition purposes in wild west
shows and Eastern expeditions.
All this has been done by ignoring
the usual way of watering the earth
and by utilizing the melting snOwbanks
as their waters raced toward the sta
Fifteen hundred miles of artificial wa
ter courses. or bitches, have these am
bilious and industrious Arizona people
dug, and 100000 acres Of this wonder
full valley lands grow rich with green
things of the earth in response TO the
water from these bitches. II is not all
fun to settle on these arid lands, and il
. ]
bitches. but the results have paid ten
fold to those who dared the task.
Great mining camps are always hear
by. Miners always have money to spend
They want the best the earth can give
them, and the irrigated lands of Ari=
iona have been paid for with the
money dug from the bowels Of the vol
eaHie hills.
Tie RAINING streams of Arizona are
now doing all they can and still more
water IS wanted. To get this the PEG
pie of the valleys not SO favored with
preparing to store the little that falls
FROM the clouds AT some seasons of the
year In the mouths of rugged can
ons they will place great rock dams.
The melting snow and the winter rains
will here minglc and lie quiet until the
drought strikes the valley below and
the parehed vegetation calls for THEN
use Then the stored water VIII be
loosea. to add more greenery. hence
more wealth. to the drYest place IL
America.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
sMan It's Me -

She was a pretty child of four or five
summers, and she knew it, says the
New York Tribune. Her mother took
care that the fact should not escape
the observation of others and in this
she was ably seconded by the lit.
tie miss. The other day the child was
on dress parade in Central Park, and
was naturally piqued at her failure 10
attract the attention Of man who sat
reading on one of the benches in the
Mall. Two or three times she passed
him. and still he regarded her not. She
looked at him in aniazemeat, and then,
with look of mingled Incredibly and
determination, she went up to him
stamped her little foot on the pavement
and said, Man, it's mel"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Stunning .he Pic.

This may De done in n great many
ways. First an unfortunate beginning
by being born of stunted parents Sec
Qnd by a poor system OF feeding the
dana limited ration or one not suit
to the nourishment of the system and
that Of the pigs. Third. by too scanty
feeding after weaving. with the ex
peetation Of better feeding after the
crops are grown. Fourth, by too lib.
eral feeding after sucking and after
weanlng on foods too rich in fat. This
last is probably the most expensive OF
all. For besides the loss of growth.
the farmer loses the excessive amount
of grain fed. The stunted pig from
whatever cause, is an Improbable in
vestment on any farm. The thrifty
pig is always a pleasure to his owner
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
I.oIIiuv Eono,ta.


II horse puts his tongue over the
bit use a straight bit. Get a thick
piece of sole leather 1 inches long and
2 inches wide, Trim off the ends
rounding. Punch two small holes a
half inch from the edge on each side.
and tie on top Of bit with leather
string Dip the leather in melted
rosin before using, TO prevent saliva
from affecting the leather Place bit
ON top of tongue Take side pieces Of
head stall up pretty well.
If the horse runs his tongue out un
der bit, take Il straight bit, drill two
holes through it inches apart in front
side of bit. Get piece of No. 10
wire, @ inches long, bent half round;
rivet the ends in the holes: then form
ii in the shape of Il bowl of a spoon.
When you put on the bit pull the
tongue through between the wire and
the bit seing that the space is large
enough for II to set easy. have tried
this and know 1t In a success. Il.
Eaton, Seneca CO.. o.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Made II Warm for Him.

The young man, making a social
call, found himself in a pleasant sit
ting room, surrounded by bevy of
dear. delightful creatures, who pro-
eeeded to assist the base burner to
make it warm for him
In fact it was altogether too warm
for the young man.
This is the hottest room | ever got
into he exclaimed at last, as he
wiped the Precipitation from his brow.
1T really makes me sick I'm afraid
I'll have to throw up"
"Wha-at?"
the window he went on.-Mem.
phis Scimitar.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Parental Diplomacy.

But what are your objections to
the young man." asked the mother.
None" answered the other half of
the management of the young woman.
Then why did you refuse his re-
quest for Ethels hand?"
only for the dear child's good If
he have any spirit at all he will go
ahead and marry her anyhow, and il
he don't she is we'll rid of him. in
dianapolis Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Spreading HAPPINESS.

Il have but one rule that l follow
absolutely In this life. and that is to
make other people as happy as posi-
BILE"
We'll, she replied, you ought to
be gratified. then. at what l heard a
young lady say the other day.
What was that?"
She said that whenever she saw
sou dance she had to laugh. Chicago
Times. Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Now She's Convinced.

Askit-Where is that Miss Oldgirl,
who was expressing herself so strong
ly against Christmas presents the 9th
er day?
Tellit-She's laid up with a bad
cold-caught 1t while she was out
gathering mistletoe Amer.
lean
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Had Been Fooled l.iare.

Alas" cried the Chief Imp, the
millennium has arrived on earth All
mortals have turned good"
Not so" replied His Satanic Ma
jesty; this is only the period Of New
Years resolutions. We shall be work
ing overtime again in few weeks. -
Philadelphia North American
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
At the Bar.

A hush fell upon the court.
do you know the prisoner at the
barr" asks the counsel
When I've got the price l know
everybody at the bari" protested the
colonel from the witness stand with
dignity.
The colonel, understand employs
the Kentucky dialect of f." which
he has learned to speak V consid.
cradle fluency.-Detroit Jou |.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20

ne l'.Gins the money mooh)@You
don't know how lonely my bachelor life
was, how unbearable the evenings
were when | would have to sit alone
In my dreary den and sew on buttons.
She Your evenings won't be dreary
now, love. can sit by you and thread
your needle.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Trans from rAi,adoiphia and Sem ror.

---s-------=--a.------a--~--zss-.
Leave Lambertvite Tor Mauunka Chunk s.aS
ta.g2am, t.37, 500 aud s.2A p IN. Sunday, s.2S
y m. For Phllipahurg aud Eaaton only G.2s
T. IA week days.
Leave Frcnchtown 10. 1919 IN, 2.o9, $50 and
$40 Il N week days, 8 - y IN sundays. For Phil
ltpsburg aud East0u only. i01 T. M.
Arrive AT l'hilhpsburg 4 aud II ~ Il. m, 2,i2,
. r. e. 81 aud 30 y. III. sunday $40 p N.
Leave rhihpsburg 7.25, $50 and II - a IL, a
G o. aud 9.2h III. sunday, . % pm.
ARRIVE Helyidcre 7,h6. 1923 and II 90 Ia 3.l9
Gu 9hl y m, Sunday, 96l p m.
Arrive ManunkA Chunk s. 70. l0.30aHd II 80 a II
3.2h, CSC and Y.hS p N. SUNDAY, gas y IA.
Additional trains leaye BetNidere Tor Mannnka
Chunk II and $50 IN, and 2 20 = NJ. sunday
200 In, Returning, leave Mnnunka thunk tor
clNidcre $50, l0is N, 20, 10 aud 1000 u IN,
Sunday, 1000 pm.
Freight or mixed trains leaving Manunka
Chunk ri 20 IN, Eclvidero & II u M Martins
Creek 6.Si m, arriving lchigh junction Gas II m,
will carry passengers and make stops at dag sta
tions north of rhillipshurE.
Passengers for Broad Street Station. Ghiladel
phia, by trains leaving Mannnka Chunk 2 3S a ii,
daily and I22i, h2l y III werk.days, and leaving
iihtlipshurg GO "A m daily i 20 and dib week,
| days 20 through without change at 1len-
| ton. through ear Tor Mamma Chunk Il n
| taohed to trains leaving Hrund street station al
| 6.ol, 300 m, 1900 noon, Nad = ~ pm liY al
/ other itains passengers In ar ttuG iruad &irett
station change cars at Trenton.
nncytoH Is made al &@aE:ts Cnnhs sI:i
| 30 aware. Leckawanna \ Nr=irr. N.u.UAdt L.,
Hth junction with lnh'gh Nsnvl isAiYh 4 Sus
IT.. hanna ,MOrris1 kSs.x sud NoS Jersey Uentta
tl.ttEoada. AT LamhsftSille With Fieiui sion EaD
| road st rIontOn with traina 10 and from No
Yea, Camden &c
HerfuIthpT Information see thnc-t&llps, vkgU
co, - sbtatued atm. litkat os.ocs
Il WOOD
General p1ls'n AItlt
| }. 2. HUTCHINSON,
tteurtli Manager
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
The Prevailing Thouqht.

Il wasn't always this way" began
the mendicant.
1T makes no difference" replied
the man approached, None of us are
justified to pauperize ourselves to
make Christmas presents. "-Philadel-
phia North American.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Comes From the WRONG Rura

Roberts, of Utah must realize now
that prophet of Mormanism has no
honor in his own country"
How SOP"
only the Sultan of the Sulus can
secure recognition for his peculiar
matrimonial belief here "-Philadel.
phia North American.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Midwinter Shorts.

do you enjoy the holidays?"
No. We have had so many invita-
lions out that feel as IL had been
participating in a six-day turkey-eat-
ing contest.-Chicago Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20

The Queen of Italy is fond of the
English aud Americans. showing
them special courtesy at the Italian
court.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Simply Fiendish.

''Hipper IS mean cuss."
Think so?"
Eyes. He's the sort of a man who
would inveigle woman into buying
cigars for Christmas present for her
husband. "-Philadelphia North Amer.
lean.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Dire Xenaeance.

She--I heard about the elopement
Has her mother forgiven them?
He-I think not. I understand she
has gone to live with them.-Collier's
Weekly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
She Thought Awhile

Geraldine-Life will be one grand
sweet song after we are married.
Gerald don't care as long as IL
Isn't piano solo.-Town Topics.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Keeping Tabs ON ,Em

Il wonder If any Of the brides rela-
tives are present"
"oh, yes. saw some people in the
next room counting the pfesents."-
Life.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
1.-THE BOOK OF THE YEAR..
The BOW-legeed Ghost and Other Stories.

With an intro
q u Ell on by
A IN t ri ca -
greatest poet,
James W hit
comb Riley, An
illustrated vol
unie Of original
h u IN orc us
sketches, verse.
tacetioils para
graphs and col
ioQuies. A book
that will not
1isappoint tho
ren d er. as il
enters a new
and heretofore
mex plored
aeld of hunor.
A book to DO
read aloud and
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
One Kind of Strire.

Strife, he said, as he finished read
ing the Peace Conference report. is a
necessity"
Not at all, replied Henry Peck, alb.
sently. There's no law compelling a
man to marry. "-Philadelphia Araeri-
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20

No person Ia Norway may spend
more than six cents at one visit TO
drinking place,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Alcoholic or Not.

Customer-My room is full of rats,
and
Drug Clerk-Yes, sir. Do you want
bromo or strychinne?
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20

four friends. Contains "The Dow.legged Ghost"
When Ezra Sang First Bass, The Man Who
Couldn't Laugh" Possible Titles of Future
Fad, Society Actresses" etc, etc. This first
diuon bound in cloth, printed ON extra fine
paper, and absolutely the best humorous book pub.
ished. Worth $3.50, mailed postpaid for ST 90.
lrder at once, send for our new special illus
Gated catalogue mailed free. Gives you the low
sst prices on all good books Address all orders to
o THE WERNER COMPANY, q
Publishers and Manufacturers. Akron, Ohio.
THE Werner Compan, Is Thoroughly reliable Editor
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
NOTICE TO CREDITORS.

ESTATE OF MARTHA NJ NAYLoR DECEASED.
Pursuant to the order Of Paul A. Queen, Sur
rogate of the County OF Hunterdon, made on
the Twentieth day of March, A. d, one
en- to All persons having claims against the
estate of Martha NJ Naylor, late of the
County of Hunterdnn, deceased, to present
the same, under oath or affirmation, to the
subscriber, Administrator of said deceased,
within nine months from the date of said
order; and any creditor neglecting to bring in
and exhibit his or her claim (under oath or
affirmation, within the time so limited, will
be forever barred of his or her action there
for against the said Administrator.
Dated March 20. A u. 1900
HARRY MONTGOMERY,
Administrator.
March II, 1900.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-06-20
Pennsylvania Railroad
THE STANDARD RAILWAY OF AMERICA
PROTECTED THROUGHOUT BY THE
InigrIockhg Switch and Biloxi Signal Spltn
EEETIDERE DIbISION.
7ra.n5 fer ns,o .osk ri Iaiinaeiai "a
ON aud After June II. 1860.

Tra.h5 fer he,o tosk asH I"ifndeiffta
On aud After June i. 1909.
Leave Mnuuuka Chunk * aud 9.t9 a. III. Pc,
Is anl 5.ln m. SUNDAY. y am.
Leave Eclydere 4 an1 i0t5 IA, 4 -. I'd
fnl q a5p IN. SUNDAY, A. m,
Leave rhillipshurg II, SIT aud 10 - N. LOO
"a and h.55 m sunday. SIT N.
tcavo ircnrhtown7 Il aud II team, 80 500
tnl q 20 = m Sunday, ISIS Il. m.
Leave Pennington rs ~, - 80 and 35i pm
werk days.
week days.
Leave lambert vile 7du. 4 - Al9 and II II II
N 2.G3 30 and dd sunday S.i9 a IN
Arrive Trenton f.ah 4 IS y 10 m, l2t5, &,
> ny and d u M SUNDAY - 10 IA
trfiye Philadelphia tkenaington) 9i7 a. NJ.
+ and IS y ~. sunday, lnn2 N
Arrige Philadelphia tBruad Street Siuiionl 81
taaa 1901 u Ia, Lou, 81 buh and - = N
Suhday, 10 0l am.
Arrive New 1ufk via Trenton, ga, l13i aud
4 ~ III. 70. / ia. ~ aud 9.ia T. IA, Sunday
II u NJ.
T,.ai,rs from IhiiddeiI,hia and Nem York
80 New York, Destrosses 81, Via Trenton,
o., ii.1iam N, LOO, 200, ti0i and 6Oo N SUN
da4 Gu0 M
Getilaa H. street s 90, 90 a N, 100 500 80
al GUd y m sundays 90 put.
MI IWenty-thud Street station, $50 and le,a5
"A L G5. 2h5, 4 % aud So y N sundays, . 65 pm
icivc Philadelphia tkrnsington) Gas, TAO, l0Uo
4 ~= IL %, i-3O and GA j. IA, week days
f. Sc Philadelphia BROAD Street station 10
aul - aG q IN. 700 noon. 230, , 81, 8 90 and 112
Ia. sunday, 7.02 pm.
tt#tye rrrntnn a. ga It m, 00, 327 Ia,
aaa aud 153pm. Sunday 7.b3 p. N.
Nftvc lpmhertNil lille 833, l022 a III, 1.7, i.62,
au4 G2H and & 3 u III. sunday, S.23 p IN.