The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-08-29
The summer poet enters. airily.


bit entitled Gladys and Her Garden
Hose
The editor springs to his feet with a
savage snarl.
1T is quite out of the ordinary" the
poet hastens to add. 1T is absolutely
devoid of double entendre. Only one
kind of hose is meant, throughout. name
ly. 11a-inch, threeply rubber hose
The editor wringS the poets hand. not
his neck. His emotions will not permit
him to speak. Tears fill his eyes until
he is scarcely able to write the check for
one hundred dollars ($1OO.-Detroit
Journal.
Paddock Tin disgust. after the numbers
are hung up)-"LObster Salad fourth
Darn the luck. anyway. And l played
him three ways, too"
Mrs. Paddock-"With SO many horses
in the race dear, / think I'd have played
Mrs lcekold-"Do you drink rum"
Mr.. William Walker-"Ah, wot a re-
lief it is to listen to sensible question
like dat. All de society ladies 1 met has
such a monotOnous way o sayin'. DO
you play golf" Have you met de
Prince? Are you off fer de Paris ex-
persition" Do | drink rum? Sure.
lady. Have you bottle on your hip?''-
Judge.
A plumber was sent for TO the house of
a wealthy stOckbroker to execute some
repairs.
He was taken by the butler into the
dining room, and was beginning his
work, when the lady of the house en-
tered.
john said she. with a suspicious
glance toward the plumber, remove the
tIx-nr f.nt fhn c.i1 nhA n,.I 10. =
at once"
But the man of lead was in no wise
disconnected. Tom" said he to his APP
prentice, who accompanied him, take
my watch and chain and these coppers
home TO the missus at once. There seems
to be dishonest people about this house"
-Tit-Bits.
MA always trumps up something
good to say about every body."
well, she can't say anything good
about the Chinese
Yes. she says she can't help liking
them because they don't wear whiskers.'
indianapolis Journal.
Nurse Girl lost track of the child,
mum, and
Good gracious! Why didn't you speak
to a policeman
Nurse NIlrl- WAS speaking TO one
all the tonne, mum. ''-Tit-Bits.
Mrs. Chicory-"That detestable Mrs.
Hashem was boasting today about how
long she keeps her boarders.'' Mrs
Prunes-"Oh, she keeps them so thin
that they look longer than they really
are. "-Philadelphia Record.
-:O:-
my mother-in-law has gone to the
mountains
You look pleased"
Yes; she'll have to admit she has
found something that she can't walk
over. "-Indianapolis Journal.
Judge-.'So you claim you struck him
iii self-defense?"
Prisoner-"Yes, yer honor; shure Oh
wouldn't a hit i'm at all if he had'n'
turned on me fur trowin' brick at i'm"
Philadelphia Press.
He-"Fraulein, l love you madly; my
heart is broken on your account; my
passion makes me blind; / am deaf to
the words of others - She-"But
are you otherwise quite we'll ?''-Meggen-
dOrfer Blaetter.
willie you've been swimming"
did you tell me, mamma, couldn't
go in once more!
II did"
well. I've been in six times '-Har
cer's Bazaar.
The Thin Passenger-"Ever play
poker?'' The Fat Passenger don't
believe / ever was real poker player.
/ have been a sort of assistant at one
time or another. indianapolis Press.
-:o:-
Coob-'EI em building new house.
Webb-"Why didn't you have your old
one remodelledw
Cobb-"Couldn't afford it."-Harpers
Bazaar.
"There isn't much going on at present,
is there?'
Not with me. put on the least and
the thinnest l can philadelphia Bul-
letin.
-)o(-
She-''I read that book going over last
year, but | remember almost nothing
about it." He-"Well, one retains so
little Oh steamers. "-Harper's Bazaar.
-.O.-