The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-08-13
SHORT STORIES OF THE DAY.

SHORT STORIES OF THE DAY.
At one of the most prominent clubs in
Washington last winter an admiral, now
on the retire; list, is reported to have PAR
taken of more liquid refreshment than his
| friends thought was good for him. They
tried to persuade him to go home. but
the old gentleman Indignantly resented
| any inference that he was intoxicated, and
persisted in staying until he chose to leave
of his own accord. When he started to
leave one OF the members offered to call
a carriage for him on the plea that It was
sleeting outside and the pavements we're
very slippery. The admiral refused the
offer in SO forcible a manner that it was
not repeatedly and started home alone.
Upon getting out on the street be was
accosted by a passerby, who noticed his
condition and feared for his safety on ac-
count of the coating of ice on the side
walk
"Lemme lone" said the admiral CURLY.
Il can take care of myself
He changed his mind after he had fallen
down twice and permitted the stranger TO
help him home. His attitude also under
went an alteration. and he expressed the
find one in all this world who would SO
put himself out to aid another.
What's your name m friend?" asked
the admiral.
ooh. that's all right, sir" 'returned the
good Samaritan. who wished to conceal
his identity. Call me St Paul
The admiral was not SO inebriated but
tina. he recognized that the name was
bogus, but he appeared to be satisfied.
I M, no
kind unknown babe the old naval officer
good night and started away The admiral
turned around, and called out
st. Paul; oh, St. Paul. Come back
here"
The stranger returned, and The admiral
steadied himself by holding QUITO the dnoI
knob 197
"'St Paul" said the admiral, thickly.
I've always been puzzled about little
matter that perhaps you can clear up for
me. Tell me-hic-did you ever get an
answer to-Zhat beastly long letter you
wrote to zhe Ephesians?" 7e
The average American hardly appreciates
the rapidity with which new words are
constantly being coined by means of slang.
The fact that these ready-made c0lloquial-
isms oppose many obstacles to foreigners
who are earnestly striving to master the
language is illustrated by the experience
of Mgr. Sbaretd, now Bishop of Havana.
Mgr. Sbaretti was for some time stationed
at Washington, where he made his home
with the papsl delegation and his breezy
Italian manners made him a great favorite
with residents of the National Capital.
He was a very learned man. master of
many languages, although he confessed
that English gave him more trouble than
any other
One day newspaper can called on Mgr.
Sbaretti and being ushered into his
presence found the prelate in a state of
extersme perturbation with half dozen
dictionaries scattered in confusion about
him
Now, tell me what ees a 'corker,'
said the Bishop. excitedly. II have hunted,
through re dictionaries, and l find cork
but no 'corker.' Some one tell me Eat
one editorial in re morning paper ees
'corker,' and do not know what it mean
why, it's slang" said the caller.
Slang" said the Bishop. contemptu-
ously. What ees slang? Tell me what
you mean by 'corker.''
'It means that it is a peach, sug-
gested the newspaper man.
"A peach ees fruit. You make fun
of me-"
well. it means that 1t -is-er-good,
able. well written"
$50 a .corker means something Eat ees
good able, and well written. Why did
not he say Eat instead of 'corker'?"
1.-THE most picturesque juvenile character
before the American people, on account of
the coming campaign. is William Jennings
Bryan. jr.." said a Washingtonian the
other day. Il suppose that he is good
deal like other boys but the fact that
his father is a candidate for President
makes him an interesting character study.
There are not many youngsters who would
keep their heads under the circumstances.
But William j.. ir. is a sensible lad. and
from what know of him / imagine that he
does not lord it over the less fortunate
boys in Lincoln.
II was in Salem. Ill, Bryan's boyhood
home shortly after the Nebraskan had
been nominated for President in 1926.
Bryan was in the town for few days with
his family. and William j.. jr, then boy
OF four or five. was very much in evidence
Political excitement ran high in the sleepy
old town, especially among the children.
Mr.. Bryan's son and nauesake was perhaps
as much of figure among the boys OF his
age as his father was among the older
people. He held receptions every time he
went out On the street. and was the most
valiant champion his father had.
II remember one day seeing him at
the head of a mimic political parade. His
expressive little face was aglow with ex-
element. and he was blowing a battered
tin horn with a fervor that distended his
cheeks 10 the contour of full moon.
'Hurrah for papa he shrieked.
''The other boys echoed the sentiment,
emitting, however, the parental designa-
ton.
what's the matter with Bryan? en-
CURED one of the older urchins.
He's all right. answered Willie. of
course, my papa's all right
While the young man might disclaim
some OF his childish FRANKS OF four years
ago. / am certain that he will be none the
less enthusiastic for his fathers success"
The yellow car was still far down the
street when the little girl with the blue
and yellow DaTssol trudged braVely forth
from the sidewalk to hail it. She was a
dainty cherub, maybe five years old.
There are always scores OF teams on the
Avenue near Market Space late Saturday
afternoon. and the trip through the hurry
ing wagons proved serious pilgrimage for
the young miss, but she made it in safety.
Standing at the side of the track she
waved the toy parasol like a whirlwind as
a signal for the yellow car to stop.
The big motorman smiled as he saw
the expectant passenger and he brought
the car TO a stop right in front of her
Tucking the blue and yellow sunshade
under one arm, she took deliberate grasp
of the hand rail and planted one foot upon
the step But there she stopped.
Hurry UP, little one said the con-
ductor.
I'm waiting for papa" she replied, as
she looked up.
I'VE cant stop the car for him. ex-