The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1900-07-05
Bowser's Bath,

There was sort of general GONE
ness IN Mr.. Bowser when he got home
the other evening. He dragged his
legs, bumped his shoulders and had q
far away look in his eyes. At the din.
ner table he heaved sigh between
every mouthful and Mrs. Bowser was
finally forced to enquire:
"Do you think you need some quiz
nine to break up your cold?"
81 have no cold, he mournfully re-.
piled.
She knewit. She further knew that
nothing whatever allied him physically,
but that he was "put,ng on' in order
to spring some new fad on her. 1t
wouldn't develop until after dinner and
she therefore held her peace and waited.
When the meal had been finished, Mr..
Bowser lighted his cigar and took up
the evening paper, but after smoking
and reading for ten minutes he uttered
a groan and stretched himself out on the
lounge.
"You-didn't you get flung off the
street car or anything" queried Mrs.
Bowser.
"No."
cts queer what ails you. You were
all right when you went away this
morning"
THAT is seemed to be all right" he
said after long silence and more
groans.
"But why didn't you say something
about 1T if anything was wrong?"
"Mrs. Bowser." he said, as he sat up
and counterleited shudder, "men 60
on suffering for years and make no
sign. l have known for months and
months that l was threatened with con-
sumption, but was determined to say
nothing about it until forced to do so
I had hoped to 60 to the end, but"
"That's all nonsense!" she indignant.
ly exclaimed. you've got lungs on
you like whale and if anyone has
made you believe you have the faintest
sign of consumption, he's fraud"
"Look here woman!" said Mr.. Bow
ser, as he got off the lounge and stood
before her, chow do you come to know
whether my lungs are all right or
not?"
"Why should anything be wrong
with them?" she asked in reply.
"Why? Why? Because 1 have en-.
hailed the germs of consumption while
travelling to and fro and they are al
ready at work on the upper part of my
right lung. There's pain there as if
someone was drawing piece of barbed
wire back and forth. 1t has got to be
attended to at once. The germs have
got to be driven out forthwith or shall
never see snow fly again."
'fAnd of course you have cure?"
81 have. l have been quietly looking
for cure for the last two months and
l have found 1t at last. suppose you
will be disappointed that am not to
shuttle of, but propose to live just as
long as can"
go1 will 60 ahead, ] suppose"
L. ~ as she turned away. We
last SIX months you have swallowed
stuff to cure, asthma, liver complaint,
palsy, rheumatism, spinal meningitis
and the Lord knows what else and you
might as we'll add consumption What
is the remedy?"
None of your businessl Six times in
six months have drawn myself back
from the grave by taking some remedy
in time and each time you have seen fit
to be merry and sarcastic at my ex-
pense. You can now 60 to pot! What
have got or how shall cure myself is
nothing to you.'
'But you let people impose upon you
| 80 often" she rorN;eeod.
IL do, eh!" he shouted, as he drew
himself up. "Neyer! Never! We have
boon marricI ewelye years or more, and
;. sOu can point to one single instance
where have been gulled out of one
single penny III buy you $40 dress.
let people work me for soft snap
That shows all you know about it, I'm
called the hardest man to work in the
whole state. | turn down fifty fakirs
per week the year round. The ides
that let people swindle me!'
Mrs. Bowser said no more. He had
come home believing that he had the
germs of consumption, and he was
bound to try the remedy he had
brought with him. He soon made
known what it was. II was two
pound box OF what he had been told
was medicated sea salt, to be used in
hot bath, and he took it down to the
kitchen to open it. The cook naturally
became interested, and somehow, in
shutting things around Mr.. Bowser got
hold of and opened box OF chloride OF
lime which had been bought for the
Kitchen sink. With this in hand be
started the hot water running in the
bath tub and mounted to the second
story. Mrs. Bowser appeared at the
foot of the stairs and asked if he needle ed
any assistance, and he growled in re-
ply:
"Never you mind about assistan ce!
a Burnt Child