The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-10-24

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of Irritation, saying that she is familiar
with the fan and handkerchief system,
and wants to know if there is no other.
Here is a simple code-the brickbat
Irritation:
Picking up a brick from the street,
am waiting for you.
Carrying brick in right hand-l am
watching you.
Carrying brick in left hand-I feel Sc
cure.
Biting corner of brick-I love you.
Rubbing brick on nOSe-Write to me.
Wrapping brick in handkerchief
doubt you.
Throwing brick through window-Be-
ware of the neighbors.
Balancing brick on chin-We are
Striking back of head with brick-I am
married.
Sfatching ear with brick-Don't speak
to me.
Throwing brick at strangers head-I
want to make an impression.
Putting brick in pocket-We are safe.
This code has the advantage of being
certain to attract attention, ana Dicks
are always to be found, even when your
fan is home-Answers.
Fearing the Worst.-Sammy (who is
never allowed to stay out Of SCHOOL,
'Howdie Hurbut didn't came to school
all day." Mamma-"Why not!" Sam
my" Cause his mother died. When
you die may | stay home all day." Nam
ma-"Yes, darling; you may stay ont a
whole week. Sammy (suspiciously)-
"Oh. l know; you mean to die in vaca-
tion."-Harlem Life.
Il II
deacon living In the South who recently
visited friends in New York. At dinner
spaghetti was one of the dishes served,
and the good old deacon, who had never
seen any before, took to it with great
CELEBRITY. After dispatching two generous
platesful of the Italian paste he VEN
tured to ask his hostess the name of the
new dish. ut is spaghetti, Deacon" she
replied IAN Italian DISH 'Well,'' said
the old man, Its mighty good, and 1
wish before [ go you'd give me some Of
the seed. bet 1 could raise some down
in Georgia.
1t was on a west side cable. The stout
Teuton woman with little boy handed a
conductor a So bill.
Smallest you have?" inquired the con-
ductor, as he shifted the silver nickels in
his pocket.
She thought he meant the little boy.
''Nein!' she responded. Il hat one
home only dree months old alreddy."
Then the laugh was on the conductor
Tacoma News.
1t was busted theatrical manager get
ting home on the proceeds of his watch,
and when he had admitted as much, he
was asked by a fellow passenger:
WAS the play failure, that you got
left?''
"Oh, no. The play was all right" was
the reply.
Anything wrong with the actors?"
Strike a streak of bad weather to
make light houses?'
mo. Weather was all right, and the
houses were crowded"
land no one ran away with the boo.
dle"'
mo, SIR
''Then l don't exactly understand how
you made a failure OF it," persisted the
interrogation.
Easiest thing in the world explained
:he busted WED been out four weeks
and were doing smashing business,
when the old woman of the play struck
me for 81 worth of salary and busted the
show all to smash. I'd counted on that
ST to help us fill forty-two dates, but she
would have It, and the rest of the people
are walking home.''
He-"Oh, promise to marry me. I
know ] am not worthy of you, but it will
make me so happy"
She-"You drink, you smoke, and you
bet''
He-"I've signed the pledge, honor
bright. Now accept me-
She-"Well, you smoke and you bet.'
He-"Haven't smoked in year. Now
will you marry me?'
She--''You bet."-Harlem Life.
A correspondent sends US this schedule
of the expenses OF rural candidate:
due Amos Jones, for one vote, 2 gal
Ions Of molasses an a peck Of meal.
due Pink Stubs, for campaign work,
one pair of britches an barrel of -four.