davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08
UNDERTAKEN OF GENIUS.
A Novel Interment Got Chicago stu
dents Out of an Unpleasant
Situation.

HE is a smart man, is that under
taker. Say. he's got a brain in his
skull, sure"
This is the way in which students
at the College of Physicians and Sur
geons on the West side express their
admiration for a certain undertaken
who got them out of an unpleasant
predicament, reports the Inter Ocean.
Patrick McAndrews, who lived
somewhere near State and Forty-Sec-
ond streets, was admitted to the coun-
ty hospital about three weeks ago,
suffering from complication of dis
eases. He died soon after reaching
the white cot in the hopeless" ward.
and his body was duly laid away to
await the coming of his relatives.
Fifteen days passed, and nobody came
to call for the corpse of Patrick Nc
Andrews. Then, as is the custom, the
body was given to the College Of
Physicians and Surgeons, and ar
rangements were planned for dis
section.
Andrews was to furnish material
called for the head, chest and arms of
an adult male. Attendants in charge
of the subjects" severed McAndrews'
body at the waist. and took the up
per half to the dissecting-room. Here
the ghastly section of the dead hui
manity was laid upon the table. COW
cred with a sheet. and left to await
| the coming of the class and lecturer.
The lower half of the body was inn
mediately burned. and in two hours
time all that remained of McAndrews
was the half upon the table, waiting
for the scalpel.
Just as the lecture was beginning
word was brought that McAndrews'
relatives had appeared and claimed
the body. An understaker from State
and Forty-first street was already at
the door, and preparations were be-
ing made for the funeral at Mean
drews' home. No objection was made
by the college authorities to the
prompt surrender of the body. but q
thorough search failed to locate the
lower half of the remains. The at
| tendant who had burned the missing
| portion told what he had done. and
there was CONSERVATION around the
college.
At this point the ingenious under.
taker came to the rescue. "Give me
the upper half of the body" said he
"Then get me about 30 pounds OF
bricks" The bricks were brought
and the lower part of the coffin was
filed with them. McAndrews' upper
section was put in place, and the un
dertaker drove away.
A day later McAndrews' funeral
took place with all propriety. and
none but the undertaken and those
who helped him at the college knew
| just what the coffin contained. Out
on the West side, however, where stu
dents congregate. the ''half man. il
talked about, and much admiration il
expressed for the genius of the under
taker.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08

Business Opportunities on the line Of the
Chicago Great Western Ry in Illinois. Iowa.
Minnesota and Missouri. First class open
ings in growing towns for all kinds Of busi.
ness and for manufacturing. Our list in-
cludes locations for Blacksmiths, Doctors,
Dressmakers, Furniture, Grain and Live
Stock Buyers, General MERCHANDISE, Hard
ware, Harness, Tailors, Cold Storage
Creameries and Canning Factories. Write
fully in regard to your requirements SO that
we may advise you intelligently. Address
"; 7 Reed, Industrial Agent, @ g. G. Why.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08
ST. pAUL's LIGHTNING RODS.
The Great London Cathedral IL Now
Thoroughly Protected from
Storms.

A total rearrangement of the sys
tenn of lightning conductors on St.
Paurs cathedral. London. is now vir-
tually complete. 1t is interesting to
learn from the electrician under
whose superintendence the work has
been carried out that the old idea of
the erection of lightning rod on the
highest point of a structure protect
ed an area all round it is quite IL
lusory. The safeguarded area was
supposed to be the space within a
circle whose radius was equal to the
height of the lightning rod. This
theory, we understand. is now dis
credited, says London paper. and
the cathedral has been protected by a
system of conductors. perpendicular
and horizontal, comprising over a
mile of cables, on which at various
prominent points are placed about so
"aigrettes"-groups of solid copper
spikes radiating upward and effectual-
ly connected at the base with cables.
The old system of joint-making by
function pieces" or splicing and SOL
dering, has also been abandoned, il
having been found that if surfaces
were merely screwed together they
were apt to oxidize and set up resist
ance, and if they were soldered the
soldering sooner or later would be
very likely to become loosened and
detached by the natural expansion
and contraction of the metals.
A new method of running to earth
has also been adopted, The usual
plan is to connect the conductors
with plates of copper imbedded deer
down in the moist earth. and these
plates, to be effective, must be of con.
siderable size. 1t is often difficult tc
get them down low enough. At St
Paurs cathedral they have made earth
connection by means of iron pipes
perforated at the bottom and driven
into the ground by special tackle
thus affording passage down which
the conductor is passed to the neces
sary depth and by means of which, Il
necessary, the earth below may bs
watered. The whole work has beer
carried out by the cathedral sur
veyor's staff under the personal su
| perintendence of the electrician.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08

ton, and inside of ten minutes after
Mr.. Jobson had gone at the job he
was sight. He might have passed
for somewhat over-fieshy stoker in
the furnace room of a steamship.
Meanwhile the heads of all the
women neighbors began to appear at
their front windows. Mr.. Jobson saw
their heads between the curtains out
of the slants of his eyes, and the sight
made him boil within. When he was
just about to stoop over to lift one
of the loads the merry, roguish-eyed
little widow down the street tripped
by, nodding sweetly to Mr.. Jobson as
she passed. Mr.. Jobson felt that she
was laughing at him, and this didn't
increase his happiness. Then one of
Mr.. Jobson's neighbors, who was TAX
ing his annual leave at home, strolled
over and leaned luxuriously against
Mr.. Jobson's iron fence.
Training for the football games,
old man?" inquired Mr.. Jobson's
neighbor, cheerfully. "Say, that kind
o. thing beats the dickens out of
dumb-bells and Indian clubs and
obesity pills and stuff like that for
taking of superfuous fat, doesn't it?
But what dye want to wear coat
for when you're doing that kind O.
work? What's the matter with that
shirt waist you wore on one only and
final occasion awhile ago?"
A. Tol~r>v~ ,x~ox.1aI Soma l.
reply, and his neighbor went back
across the street. smiling back every
few steps.
After Mr.. Jobson had slowed about
a quarter of ton of the coal in the
cellar he found that he had slight
nose bleed. to which he is subject.
He pressed grimy handkerchief to
his nose and clomped up the front
steps.
Madam" said he, in a sepulchral
tone, IL trust you perceive what your
total lack of consideration has done
for me. The violent labor which you
deliberately and cold-bloodedly thrust
upon me has brought on a severe hem
orrhage. What the outcome of it il
to be is purely problematical. 1t may
put me under the ground, or / NAV
survive it. If / do survive it, how.
ever, and ever again permit you tc
reduce me to the level of q coal
HEAVIER, i want you to just send me q
special delivery letter marked Rush,!
to that effect. and I'll know what legal
steps to take in the premises, that:
ll!"-Washington Star.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08

Owing Of living IL thousand ap
annoying, sometimes painful symptoms.
dreadful hot flashes sending the blood gng to the heart until
going Of the symptoms OF
Lydia Pinkhas Vegetable Compound
this trying period her life
following
s further what medicine Lydia Pnkhams Vegetable
Compound Is for women.
sick for long time taken
the womb ache all the
with suffer with pain the left side OF my back over the kidney
old and passing Of Please advise me
MRS. CHARLOTTE JOHNSON, Moncova Ohio
think helped great
taking Vegetable
Compound but after for short able to be around
aching the lower OF womb has The most
flowing but still there little
continue with medicine
believe win JoHNsoN Moncova Ohio
April 49, 1900
benefit Of others sick for
enough doctors and
change of e suffered
sides kidney trouble back
dizziness well and and feel like
Lydia Pnkham Vegetable Compound would not do without
they take remedies for they CHARLOTTE
Monclova Ohio
Mrs Johnson derived from Mrs
medicine almost beyond beef yet 1t is all
positive fact Mrs Pinkham has file thousands Of
period
Mrs Johnns Is unusual TOR Mrs Pink
accomplish
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08
spoiling a Kid.

"They are just running that boy OF
mine at the kindergarten" said the
worried father.
'What is the matter?" asked the
friend, glad to hear one Earring note in
the usual song OF praise about "the
boy"
HE calls his chums William and
Henry instead of Bill and Hank
Wouldn't that jar you?"-Indianapolis
Press.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08
Not the One That was out.

Not the One That Was Out.
'sIs the cashier out?" he asked as he
looked around.
NO." replied the president as he
glanced up from an examination of the
books, "the cashier is not out; It's the
bank that's out."-Chicago Times-Aer-
aid.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08

Mr.. Shallow-What queer notions
children get sometimes, to be sure.
There's my son Freddie, for instance:
he has an almost unconquerable desire
to become cowboy.
Mrs. Callow-Nothing SO very strange
about that; 1 have often heard YOU
say he was great calf.-Boston Cou-
rier.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08

Miss Caustique-So you are engaged
to that Mr.. Atkinson. are you? Now.
tell me honestly, what can you see in
him that distinguishes him from all
other men in the world whom you have
ever met?
Miss Passee with unlooked-for
frankness)-He asked mo to be his
wife.-Tit-Bits.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08

bath-school teacher, nervously, 'sis taught
by the story of Jonah and the whale?" The
serious child with the tall brow did not
reply: Its hard to keep a good man
down." But merely: Il don't knoww
This was thought to be very remarkable
in one so young-Detroit journal.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08

II not, drink Grain-O-made from pur
grains. A lady writes: "The first time I
made Grain-O did not like it, but after us
ing it one week nothing would induce me to
go back to coffee" Itnourishes and feeds the
system. Children can drink it freely with
great benefit. 1t is the strengthening SUBJ
stance of pure grains. Get package to-day
from your grocer, follow directions in maxi
ing, and youwill have delicious and healthful
table beveragefor old and young. l5cand 25c.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08

She-Remember. Israel, that silence
Is golden.
He (ruefully)-I believe you're right
about that, my dear, and wish had
golc enough to buy it.-Richmond Dis
patch.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08

Household Lese MeJeste.
fortunately we don't have such a
thing as lese majestic in this country"
said the bachelor.
''Oh, / don't know" replied the bene-
dict. my wife seems to regard any
comment on her cooking as somewhat
in that line."-Chicago Post.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08
A contributory Cause.

Sagebrush San-Ycr say Bill died of
q lame arm. How could that be?
Cactus Charlie--Why, yer see. his
arm wuz so stiff that he couldn't draw
his gun quick, an the other felIer got
the drop on Hmm. Y. journal.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08

Mr.. Bloomfield II don't know q
more credulous man than Snaggs.
Mr.. Bellefield--Neither do /; he'll
carry an umbrella II the weather man
predicts rain.--Pittsbureh Chrmicle-
TELEGRAPH.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08
An Inquiry.

Brownies; he's an English friend
of mine who is making a tour of tie
United States. He considers us won
derful people-an amazing pc sple.
Jones-Oh! of course! But, say, he
didn't have to come all the way from
London to find that out, did he?-Puck.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08

Each package Of PUTNAM's FADELEse
DYES colors moro goods than any other dye
and colors them better too. Sold by all
druggists.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08

'Do you believe in luck?" asked Edgely.
Depends on who is dealing" replied
Stacker, sagely.--Town Topics.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08
THE FISHERMEN.

Though the waves are high and the WINDS
are strong,
And the pillows thunder against the
shore,
The fishermen row away with a song,
And the sunlight CLEANS on the flashing
oar.
IT'S little they care for the winds that blow.
Or the pillows that toss their boats about;
The whims of the sea are the books they
know
The flow of the tide and its going out;
The flow of the tide and the bending sky.
The spring Of the sail as 1t takts the
breeze.
The drift of the clouds that are floating by,
The fight of the gulls and the combing
seas.
And over their vessels the sky bends low,
And the tide comes In and the tide goes
OUT;
And the wind and waves. and the ebb and
flow.
Are the sermons that make their lives
devout.
Frank H. Sweet, in N. Y. Home Journal.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-08

Oats are not raised in China and
not fed to horses except to the racers
n the training sssso1. !.
The age-herald., 1900-11-26
MANCHESTER MARKET.
High Quotations Restrict Business.
 Spnners Are Firm.

Manchester, November 25.-lnfuenced by the advance in cotton, the spinners firmly adhere to higher quotations, restricting business which now aggregates scarcely the average. Inquiry is abundant in the prices lately accepted. Many producers are only indfferently supplied with orders, and in some instances engagements are almost run off; but sellers find it impossi- be to induce business except by offering concessions almost as unprofitable as stop ping machinery.
 Apparently it will take some time to ad- just prices to the present level. Piece goods are likely to be forced decidedly higher if the supply of cotton is found de- ncient as compared with the worlds de- mand for workable cloth.
 The demand for India was small and that for China comparatively unimportant. There were numerous minor Asatic n- quiries, but tn eprices ruling the Eastern market are generally below Lancashire equivalents.
 Some Mediterranean orders were pii.'-='i with easy sellers Central and South Amer ican buyers have been operating quietly. What is wanted is a revival of South Afn- can trade, the absence of which tells Dpo-> many smaller industries. Nor Is the Gom-i demand fourshing as it ought to be.
The age-herald., 1900-11-26
SOUTHERN PROGRESS.
The New Industries Reported in the
 South in Week.

Chattanooga, Tenn, November 25-(Spe- cial.) l.)-Among the more important of the new industries reported by The Tradesman for the week ended November 4, are car riage and wagon works at Nicholasville, Ky; a $50,000 cement company at Glade Spring, Va; a cotton gin at Raymond
 Miss; a $75,O00 cotton mill at Talladega, Ala, and S2OO,OOO cotton mills at Charlotte, N. C., and Inman, S. C.; electric light plants at Arcadia, Fla, Covington, Ky, and Franklin La; $5000O light and power company at Toccoa, Ga, and one with capital of $2p0,OO0 at South Boston, Va; f1ouring mills at Elberton. Ga, Myers, Ky, Aberdeen, Miss. Belvidere, Cedar Hill, Elm Tree and Sheltons Ford, Tenn, Front Royal, Va, and Maysvile. w. Va; a foundry and machine shop at Staunton.; a furniture factory at Union, s. C., and eco furniture manufacturing company a Brenham, Tex; gas works at Durham, x. C; $400,0O0 street railway, gas and electric company at Spartanburg, s. C.; hardware computes at Carolton Miss, Aiken, S. C., and Mineral Wells, Tex, and ice and cold storage plant at Nashville, Tenn; a knitting mill at Huntsville, Ala; a laundry at Alexandria, Va; $50O,000 light and railway company at Williams town, w. Va; lumber company at New Boston, N C.; mines at Raleigh, N. C., Bristol, Va, and Charleston, Farmount and Shaw, w. Va; a SiOO.0OO mining com pany' at Harrison, Ak, and another with a capital of s25O,000 at Knoxville, Tenn; $50,000 pants manufacturing company at Mayfield, Ky; a blaming mill at Lebanon
 Ky; an oil refinery at Houston, Tex; shingle mill at Olney Ark; a shpbuilding company at Pensacola, Fla: soap facto- ries at Rome, Ga, and Chattanooga, Tenn; stove foundry at Calhoun, Tenn; tele- phone companies at Chattanooga and Nor folk, Va, and tobacco factory at Rich mond, Va.
The age-herald., 1900-11-26

impediments to marriage and ah forms Of chronic nervous, blood and private dis eases.
 EVERY FORM OF PRIVATE DISEASH POSITIVELY CURED UNDER PLAIN GUARANTEE
 Consultations at office or by mail are in- vited free.
 Treatment by mail to parties who cannot visit me. No written prescriptions; we furnish all medicines.
 Birmingham Daily News: "The News comments him Or. Dozier) most cordially to aif those in need of his services"
 Age-Herald: His long record and ap. proved abilities entitle him to the proud distinction of standing at the head of his profession.'
 Alabama Christian Advocate: His pros fessional standing Is unimpeachable, and his character 1s a gentleman and citizen i'd above reproach."
 Office and Dispensary corner Third ave. nue and Nineteenth street, Birmingham Ala
The age-herald., 1900-11-26
ALABAMA HEROES
 AT CARNEGIE HALL f
 Wheeler and Hobson Address a
 Large Audience PROGRESS AND REL lGI0N Christianity Responsible for All Tri- umphs, Said Wheeer-He Advocat- ed Retention of Philippines
 Tribute to Admiral Philip.
PROGRESS AND RELIGION

New York, November 25-Gen. Joseph H. Wheeler spoke on the subject of "Our Country; Its Progress and It's Triumphs," and Lieut.. Richmond Pearson Hobson on An Appreciation of the Life and Service of Admiral Philip" to three thousand per sons in Carnegie Hall tonight.
 None of the principle triumphs,' said General Wheeler, would be of any value unless coupled with Christian religion The progress of our country is due more to the Christian religion and it's practice than all else combined. You have heard a great deal about abolshng the canteen, but the people seeking this promised to put noth- ing in it's place, and have been confronted by the argument that the canteen Was pet ter than the saloon to which the men would otherwise go. But the problem has been at- tempted in a different way here in New York You are doing away with the can teen by setting up the Y. VI. c. A.
 The latter part of his address was on the desirability of retaining the Philippines. Lieutenant Hobsons address was review of the life of Admiral Philip as an of ficer and a Christian.
 Gen. 0. o. Howard presided.
The age-herald., 1900-11-26
THE SITUATION IN
 SOUTH AMERICA ChiIe'S Actions May Precepitate
 a Conflict OTHER COUNTRIES UNITED The Western Coast Republic Opposed to Compulsory Arbitration in Dis putes With Her Neighbors- Other Countries United.
OTHER COUNTRIES UNITED

Washington, November 25.-Dispatches from Madrid received in official diplomatic quarters here make the first announce ment that in the debates before the Latin- American Congress, whose sessions have just been concluded the principle of com- pulsory arbitration urged by the Peruvian delegates was adopted by almost unani- nous vote Chile alone holding out and pro- testing against the action taken. The de- cision not only favors compulsory arbitra- tion in disputes between the American re- publics, but also provides that guarantees shall be given for the faithful performance of the conclusions reached by the arbtre- ton tribunal.
 Aside from the immediate question in- volved the decision of the congress is re- garded in South American quarters is sig nitcant of the alignment of the Southern republics on the increasing differences which have arisen of late and which are threatening to bring about a general crisis involving most, if not all, of South Ameri- can republics. Several events have oc- cured recently, indicating a widespread movement. Peru has been making des- perate efforts to regain her provinces of Tacna and Africa, which are sort of bor- der hostage held for the last ten years yb Chile. Bolivia is involved in the same con- troversy, as she has lost her seacoast to Chile and is now seeking to save part of it. The latter question was recently brought to a direct issue by the presen- ia ton of a demand from Chile generally construed as an ultimatum requiring Be- livia publicly to acknowledge the Ntreaty and sovereignty of Chile over the seacoast in question.
 About a month ago Chile adopted the
The age-herald., 1900-11-26

compulsory military system under which every male citizen, on reaching the age of 19 years, must serve as a soldier This has caused widespread concern in South Amer ica, and has led other countries to take steps toward similar military equipment Ecuador has declared it's purpose of adopt ing a system like that of Chile, and Peru, which now has only 2000 soldiers, has taken steps to have a general enlistment in It's national guard. But the chief concern has been expressed in Argentine and Brazil, as it is the feeling in those countries that the powerful armaments of Chile are not re- qured against such enfeebled states as Peru, Bolivia. Ecuador and the other north ern republics, but will be used against Chile's more powerful neighbors in the south. Argentine and Chile are separated by a long boundary line. which is now in dispute.
 The boundary has frequently threatened an armed conflict, and each country has been steadily increasing its armament, land and naval.
 It is estimated by one of the prominent observers in Washington that each coun- try has spent about $50, 0O0,000 armament during the last ten years. Brazil recently has been brought into alignment by cor dial restoration of good feiing with Argen- tina For time they were opposed to a boundary contest, but by arbitrating of the United States, the award was made in fa- vor of Brazil, and Argentina has heartily accepted this result. The Presidents of Brazil and Argentina have exchanged vis- Its and during the stay of President Cam pos Salles al Buenos Ayres recently, con- siderdton was given to united action some of these pending South American con- troversies.
 The several movements have had the gen. eral effect of establishing a common basis between Bolivia, Peru, Argentina and Bra gil. While there Is no suggestion thus far that these united republics would use force against Chile, yet 1t Is appreciated that the present situation may lead to serious results.
 The Chilean army is directed by able Ger man officers, the commander being General Kooner, a German officer who was placed ago. Some forty other foreign officers, chiefly German, also occupy leading places on the staff and line.
The age-herald., 1900-11-26
MISC ELLANEOUS.

CREDIT to reliable partes. Diamonds and watches, jewelry, si1verware and clocks on small weekly CT monthly pay ments. lowest prices best quality; goods guaranteed will call if desired P. Low ,f,ahu. .nl0 First ave i-27-tf
 SAND sharp and clean in carload lots, de-
 livered promptly. J. Lundie Soss, All Chalifoux Building S-31-tf LADIES AID GENTLEMEN. LISTEN The Special Messenger Service, phone 36 office 1l2 N. 18th street. is strictly conh- dential, reliable and responsible to handle your notes and parcels; nice stationery and private office to write note while you are down town; prices 10 and l5c In city, ask for out-of-town rates. s. Y. Hampton, Proprietor. 6-6-tf YOU CAN. TOO"-Graduates are earning s1O to $50 per day; we guarantee to place you in position to do likewise Write to Southern Institute of Science and lnfirm- ary Columbus, Ga. 1-l3-2w
 GYPSY FORTUNE TELLER-Madam Roy, just arrived in town; 1S011& Second ave
 nue opposite post office. White-Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Colored- - Friday and Saturday. 11-22-4t JUST THE SNAP you've been waiting for; an elegant 2-story, modern residence, brand new (never occupied), on corner 50x140. convenient to street car, in good neighborhood, monthly payments of S25; improvements alone cost nearly the price asked: generally there is a big prof. it to the owner when he sells on such terms; not so in this case; the owner wants enough cash to convince him that you will pay for the property; call at our office and investigate, and be quick about it; If not sold in a few days 1t will be rented for S2o A. R. Dearborn & Co.,, 1921 First avenue. 11-22-tf