Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1900-10-17
CLERICAL JOKERS.
TIE OLD SCOTCH PERFORMERS HAD
LARGE STRsAkS OF FUN.
Incidents which Prove Conciusively
That They Were Not Gloomy ana
herose and That They Did Hugely
Appreciate a Good Joke.

herose and That They Did Hugely
Appreciate a Good Joke.
1t was the wise Bulwer who said:
when an error once gets into the
world, II Is astonishing how hard IL is
TO get IL out You may beat ii about
the head until II seems TO have given
up the ghost and then the next day
meet II on the street as healthy as
ever" Nevertheless errors OF all sorts
should be dubbed at every opportu-
nifty, else how shall truth prevail7
Now. the generally received idea OF
the old Scotch Presbyterian clergy is
that they were gloomy and morose
set, welded to a stern routine of life,
inflexibly opposed to social enjoyments,
innocent of witticism and totally in
capable OF prscticing a practical joke.
One would almost as soon suspect
John Knox Of swearing as Of smiling
or bold David Ferguson of picking
pockets as Of poking fun,
AS a matter Of fact. the old Scotch
reformers were as generous in senti-
ment as they were firm In doctrines, as
demonstrative In love as they We're
strict In devotion and therewithal as
fond OF good puns as of sound preach
ing. Why. John Knox himself was In
private life abundantly genial and was
q favorite not only with Queen Mary
Stuart. In spite of the strict manner in
which he kept her conscience, but with
all her gay and lively maids Of honor.
George Buchanan, though connected
with a work and era OF violent meas
ures and harsh means. was q hearty
humorist. When he was discharging
the duties Of preceptor 10 the young
prince who afterward became James
OF England he discovered his royal
pupils weakness IN complying with
every request presented TO HIM One
day he handed two papers 10 the ju-
Tenile monarch which be requested
him to sign. James readily signed his
name TO the documents without reading
either or asking particularly about
their contents
In one OF the papers James formally
transferred the royal authority to his
tutor for the term OF 10 days. Buchar-
an now began 10 assume the state and
importance OF a sovereign. Being sd-
dressed with the usual salutation by
one Of the courtiers. he announced that
he would expect TO be addressed with
more ceremony since be had obtained
the dignity Of the crown. The young
king. who was present, began TO sus-
pect that the stern preceptor had sud
denly lost his reason and asked for an
explanation.
There is the instrument" explained
Buchanan, placing the document before
his pupil. "by which have received
from you my sovereignty for 10 days"
Buchanan improved the occasion by
administering TO the inexperienced
monarch a suitable lecture on his
habitual rashness.
In 1eos King James published bis
famous Book Of Sports" and, think
Ing TO render the Presbytert~n form OF
worship less rigid, ordered that certain
OF the sports therein commended
should be played In the several church
yards every Sunday at the close OF
divine service. John Ross, a minister
Of BlairgOwrie, adopted a novel method
OF withstanding the royal ordinance.
He was a strong. athletic man and
seemed much interested in the recrea-
tons enJoined by the monarch. Foot
ball was selected by the parishioners
Of Blairgowrie from the list OF Sun
day games"
When the services Of the church were
completed, Mr.. Ross appeared among
his people in the churchyard and join
ed them in their sport. None Of the as
semblage kicked more eagerly at the
l1
bent. But constant misfortune seemed
20 attend him. Every kick missed the
ball and fell heavily on the ankles Of
those who stood near. Apologies were
promptly rendered and, of course. re-
ceived, though every Sunday many OF
the parishioners returned home halt
ing. Finally 1t was agreed that, on &C
count OF the minister's awkwardness,
the games should be abandoned. Thus
the ingenious divine gained his end
and prevented compliance with the OBJ
noxious order
It was the in6eIible DR.. McCubbIn
who, when suffering dreadfully from
toothache, advanced the witty argu-
ment that no more convincing proof
could exist Of the truth that man sin
ned and fell by eating the forbidden
fruit than that the teeth, from infancy
to old age, were. above all the rest Of
the body, the seat OF the most painful
disease. Nevertheless the good doctor
loved good eating and. for that matter,
good wine and wit as well.
On one occasion Lord Douglas invit-
ed him to dinner at Douglas castle to
meet Lord Braxfield, the noted Judge
Bfaxfield was disappointed to find
there was no claret and asked his lord
ship If there was any in his cellar
The peer answered that there was, but
that his butler had pronounced it I'm
sound. Lets pree't," said Braxfield.
1t was produced and pronounced ex-
cellent. Braxfield proposed to the dis
tinguished doctor that, since an anath-
ema had gone forth against this partic-
MAR wine, he absolve IL. Your lord
ship is a good Judge In civil law" re-
piled DR.. McCubbin, "but you are not
so familiar, perceive, with the laws
of the church. We never absolve till
after three several appearances" The
claret Of the host suffered accordingly.
He Wanted Air
Arriving one sitting hot day at his
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