Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

vicar. But Of course fresh bans must
be published All" :. pause. Mr..
s., paid zee half crown for putting
o oR hG half oans Shall Ia hare TO pf{
change your mind so late in the day YOU
must expect to pay for it, All A
ong pause. Then, with sudden resolu-
ton, "Aw, well-leave en- be as 'tis"'
Unsatisfactory from the Start-"Well,
what about the new neghbors:' On,
Edgar, it was the meanest moving in |
ever saw. Everything was boxed and
barreled up SO l couldn't see thing they
| have."-Detroit Free Press.
Standing on the banks of the Potomac,
! Lord Colerdige one day asked William
NJ Evarts: us it true that Washing,o on
threw silver dollar across the Poto-
mae? 1T is quite possible replied NJ.
those days, my lord went farther than il
does now. But, indeed. Washington Gid
! better than that-he threw sovereign
, across the Atlantic.'
Tcnant-'I think, sir, something;
ousat to be done to my cellar. It's con
/ stantly full Of water.
! pet it to be full OF champagne?'-
, Hc;tere Welt.
/ The blood in the body is taken by
! means of tubs to the heart and there de-
! tanned.
| 4 volcano is burning mountain that
/ has creator and throws out melted
! rocks.
came sore and conquered.
His brain was seetnlng with grand
IDEAS in all directions.
II the earth did not revolt we should
always have equal nights and days.
Stored in some trouSeI-house CT mighty
kings.
The lungs are organs of execration.
The priest Of INDIAN reproved his
daughters for not inviting Moses to come
! TO tea.
When Moses mother hid him in the
/ ark among the bulwarks she did not for
get TO give the baby its bottle
Pig iron is what they made the nCse
! rings for pigs of.
A watershed is shed for keeping wa
! ter in.-Collected for Longman's Maya
zine.
Wife-"How would you like it if l
spent nearly every evening in the week
at meeting of some secret society,""
! Husband-'It couldn't be a secret socie-
ty. Elsa, if you belonged 10 it.'-Carica
turen.
| "A :
benefit TO John Brougham. the actor
and dramatist, one of the audience threw
! upon the stage purse Of gold. Brough.
am picked it up, and. after examining it.
said: Ladies and gentlemen. circum-
stances compel me to pocket the Insult:
| but docking GRIM Il should like TO see
the man who would dare to repeat itr'
Lady Assistant (behind counter, 10 cab
] p3anf-''Dair of cloves -
is your number .Cabman-"Fifre ela1
! hundred and n;nety-three, miss''-Tit-
/ Bits.
Going up the Mohawk valley on Cen
/ trail Hudson train the other day Were
two men attached to each other by hand
| cuffs. They rode in silence for some
! time neither appearing TO notice that he
had a seat mate. Final: ane turned 10
the other and asked: "Where you GO
Asylum"
.'Ye-ep.''
'Crazy?'
Yep, religion
There was silence for some time after
that. Then the one who had answered
! the questions in the first instance turned
inquisitor. You going to Utica:"
| Yes
Crazy, too?'
What's the matter with your
imperialism.
ooh, you amt crazy You're a damn
| fool. Albany Evening Journal.
Barber-"Shall l take q little Of the
ends OF your hair eff. sir?' Customer
Yes: l think you had better take it off
1 at the ends. unless you can get it out eff
the middle. GLASGOW Evening Times.
The Squire (sympathetically) I'm
very sorry to hear that your husband is
| at the point of death, Mrs. Hodge, but
! you must try and be cheerful, as you
| know it will be all for the best"
Mrs. Hodge-'Ah. yes, indeed, sir;
it'll be a blessing when he's gone. I'll
be able to live in comfort then, as I ave
i'm in four different clubs.'-Judy.
A wag seeing door nearly off its
! hinges, in which condition it mad been
for some time, observed that when it
had fallen and killed someone it would
probably be hung.
Sir Henry Howorth, a British N. P,
! is writer Of note in his own country
and great student. His History OF
| MongolS,' took many years of steady and
arduous inquiry. And thereby hangs
tale which, it is said, he has often tolG
against himself.
One evening when taking in to dinner
a lady who had been lightly prmed as
to his great subject, there was a strange
convprca tioO II understand Sir Horny