The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-11-11
QUAINT SAYINGS OF The IRISH
ON The WITNESS STAND

corner of CapeI street an called me,
yIS he did, yer WurShip, an Ould en-
communicated gasOmeter.' "
In the trial at the Galway assizes a
witness, one Patrick Flanagan, was a
great friend of the accused and gave
his evidence very reluctantly. He was
thick in his UtteTanceS and added to
his obvious dislike to testifying, he Ia
bored under the physical difficulty of
having lost several of his front teeth in
a recent fight. Several times he was
asked to repeat his answers, and he
got excited. Then the use of long
words by the counsel added to his
nervousness, and he answered very in
coherentiy- Don't pTevaricate, sir"
shouted the judge, angrily- 'Prewari-
cate, is it, exclaimed the witness; I'm
thinkin', me lord, it's yerself wouldn't
be able to help preWaFicatin' if three
or four of yer lOrdship's teeth wOr
knocked out of yer head"
Not guilty, me lord; but the jury
advises the prisoner not to do it again."
was the verdict in case tried in Tip
perary, and this has its counterpart in
the verdict of a Galway jury, My lord,
we IND the man who stole the horse
not guilty"
How can you swear that the hens
found in this mans yard belonged to
youF' asked a lawyer of a witness who
appeared against an alleged chicken
thief in Waterford. BY the kind, sOr"
Why, that is absurd; l have some like
them myself" Quick as a flash of
lightning the witness replied: Very
likely, scr. I lost some bit before
this man took Thin this tonne
In a northern court an old woman
was exceedingly garrulous, and insisted
in telling the court what she would do
if she were on the bench. The Judge
at last exclaimed, And old woman is
not fit for the bench" Sure. your
Nr.zar Ae-t,r 10
ence,' was the retOrt, which convuIsed
the bar, for the judge in question had
earned the SObriquet of 'Old woman"
In Ireland the peasantry still use the
word killed in its original sense, con-
veying the idea of serious injury, rather
than death. Thus the frequenters of
Irish courts viii often hear a witness
swear in assault cases that he was
kilt entOirely." An amusing instance
in which the word was used in that
sense appears in II report of d case re
Gently tried in Sligo. An old man who
had been assaulted was being examined
by young and inexperienced barTiSteT
who was conducting the prosecution.
And were you stunned when you were
knocked down - he asked Was
what yer hOnOr?" asked the witness
{ Stunned repeated the barrister
'Shure, [ don't know what yez name,
sor.' Were you rendered insensible -
/ 'Shure, what's insenSible, at all. at
all?' the witness asked, his face show
ing clearly that he was perplexed, I'm
afraid l cannot get any good of this
stupid witness. my lord" said the coun-
sci. Let me try him. said the judge.
/ Come, my good man. did they kill you
now?" The face of the witness bright
ened up and he exclaimed: FAX, that
I they did entOiTely. me lord"
In petty sessions court a man was
sued for the non-payment of his rent.
In his defense he maintained that the
place was so small that it was not
worth the rent demanded. Why, yer
homer" he exclaimed, the room is so
small that donkey couldn't turn
around in it, just come and try it, ger
/ homer
The witnesses have no intention of
! being disrespectful. but their SIMPLE
ity, shrewdness and brightness mingle
together and cause the Whimsicalities
to which I have referred.
1 was making a pedestrian tour of
Ireland in the latter days Of the Fenian
movement. and many curious incidents
came under my observation, showing
how jealous the royal Irish constabu-
larry was in arresting strangers and
charging them secretly with Fenianism.
At that time the habeas corpus act
was repealed and anyone arrested
could be kept in prison, without trial.
for a period of two years. When a
man was tried he felt that he was to