The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-06-13


The trials and tribulatlons of the
census enumerator are almost over,
and by the end of the present week
the $1,000 representatives of the gov
ernment will have settled down to the
even tenor of their ways out of the
entire number who were or are now
engaged in the work, II is doubtful If
half a dozen of them could be induced
to again undertake the job. Nine
tenths of the men who were falling
over each other to get the appoint
ments two months ago now complain
that it is the hardest work they ever
did, and instead of making fabulous
sums as expected, they must contend
themselves with an average of about
81 a day for ten hours work.
The first few days presented the hu-
morous side of the work, the next few
the ridiculous, and the last few the
serious obstacles which must neces-
sarily be encountered in taking the
census. The enumerator should be a
student OF human nature to appre-
ciate the many peculiar situations
which confront him, and when a wo-
family troubles he should be able to
straighten them out and at the same
time make his visit as short as pos
sible.
ONE WAY OF AVOIDING
One of the ways a woman has of
avoiding the age question was brought
to light recently, when an enumerator
inquired the month and year in which
she was born. This was her reply:
What year was Mrs. Blank, next
door. born in ?"
"1S72," replied the census man.
well, I'm two years younger than
her"
Anothe~ young woman, who reluc-
tantly answered the question, mar
rled or single, widowed or divorced"
replied that she was srgle, but will
| ing to be married, and asked the emu
merator in all seriousness if he didn't
know of a man who wanted a wife.
A writer in the New York Jour-
nal, who seems to be gathering
| material for a book while making the
| census canvass, expresses some of the
| experiences encountered by himself
aad he undoubtedly speaks for thous-
ands of his fellow enumerators, whose
| experiences were more or less along
similar lines. This is what he says:
'"The vocabulary of the New Yorker scintil
lates with pat slang expressions" said the censu-
| cnumerator, who was telling Of his experiences
| "but | ran across new one today | was Sc
| curing the pedigree of a family in my district
| The head of the family knew about enough Eng
| lish to cnttlc him to make change, so the in
| formation was given out by little daughter
| l,,l l,I nptNrp my n1Ipg
tions in English and the answers of her father
| in Polish she was having hard time. Finally
| she said:
Gee, wisht Issy, my brother was heRr
He's got memory like a elephant.
QUEER OCCUPATION.
"Of course, it is natural to expect that New
| York would furnish census taker with lines
| on many queer occupations, but the variety o.
ways adopted by the people to make a living
is astonishing nevertheless In my district
| lave no less than a hundred men on my hs
who 20 down fish cleaners | have go
| numerous organ grinders, | don't know how
many peders, and yan across one woman VIII,
| called herself COLLECTOR She collects scrap
and refuse food from big restaurants to b
| used in small joints, where man may fee'
for the price of a shave. | have also secured
window cleaners "A doll surgeon "A botrl
broker anC man who keeps track Of peorl
|
| tective. woman follows up bad accounts 10
an instalmcnt house called herself a tracer.
One of these fellows who stand in show window
and exhibit their muscular development, and, in
cidentally a weight lifting machine, describe,
himself as physical demonstration.
81 guess the funniest occupation Of all is hell
by boy Who calls himself an apple polishcr.
lie puts the suspicious shine on the apples su
by a syndicate of Greek push'cart pedlcrs.
'When | get out ny book about my expert
| ences as a census enCmerator ] am going to dc
| vote several chapters to the New York kid
The juvenile portion Of the great city as he Gr
pears in my district has put many gray hai
under my hat. ! was in a house yesterday morn
ing that had been unduy blessed with progeny
and one of them deliberately took my bottle c
ink and spilled it all over sheet | had al
most completed. Tie mother laughed hearth
and remarked:
Little Walter is so funny.
81 didn't tell her so. but if I had got crac
at little Walter the finish of his fun would hav
been horrible
THE FUNNY MAN.
Speaking of the funny little Walter remind
me of the funny man. I meet him every day
lie has been studying up his little jokes an
waiting for me. Here is one of his gags
"'Ah, and you're the census man are you
Well, | give you fair warning that you won
have much success in this house. The peopl
| here have no Senses
"From the frequency with which this is sprun
, ! imagine it has been printed and circulate
among idiots who think they smart. Al
other cheerful ass | meet on my travels is I'll
chump who tries to make me figure his az
something in the style OF the problems in ii
back of the arithmetic This smart person goi
about it like this:
well, my brother Henry is twice as old
my sister Helen, and my sister Helen is 81
years younger than L.
"Thcn he looks at me and chortlcs like ii
famed laughing jackass Of holy writ or wha