Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1900-02-02
YEARNED TO BE WICKED,
The Sad bat Instructive Tale Of q
Nice Young Man,.

Ntce Young Man,.
For several reasons Theodore Ginny,
aged IS had made the tnickest kind ct 4
hit rs the gay young man about town in
a village Of 900 natives. lie was the u,,iy
one of the family On the band wagon:
The rest put in ten hours Il day and paid
board; yet, with the slap he had. 1heo
was lobster in the pink Of condition.
Sometimes If all evening hc guzzlc.F as
many as two conclaves-half sod, water
and half milk-and then poured on top of
them queen charlotte. composed cntirc-
ly:sof sweet soda. with Il squirt rf ,asp-
berry sirup to make it real. red,
H., The constable, who drove an express
wagon day times and w1re the star at
night. had shclltish of his own. and ON
this account Theodore was able to rule
the town and boast loudly Of his drag.
He played u plugged alto horn in the
band, wore store clothes. and 4 n hale
aclzed lady who could claim no ties ct
blood or marriage" washed his white shirts
TOR him at. SD much per. Sometimes she
got it Pc: shirt. again pr week and more
often perhaps. -
Whenever Theodore was strong enuhSh,
he sent hiss collars and cuffs to the Troy
laundry in the city and created Il fnrore
calling for them ut the express office Sat
urlay evenings.
While making these friyhtfui scars on
the primrose path our young lobster just
achcd to yell rah.. rab.. and be- mist AIKEN
for q member of the student body. His
parents could have wreuvlled their bank
account tanning him through Il univer-
sity. with others like him. but they got
Use TO his lacl; OF savvy. and sn saved
the money.
He hadn't the gall 10 wear a white
plug hat with 90 painted Oh it in pink,
because the town had no college. Theo
couldn't have told Il curriculum from a
cuppy lie in two reci,atio:>s, and When he
tried to pass an ordinary bunch of talk
off on polite society he. needed the serv-
ices of middle man. Still, when not in
his cups, Theodore was inclined to be
quite heroic, often driving his. mother
about the village at fast walk in her
side bar buggy. with one leg dangling
over the side. -@
Meanwhile Theodore remained in "a
waking dream. He thought he was up
against the: higher education anyhow.
He Eaised pilnples and eluded the barber
until his hair struggled down his back
Ills tVVt4l WAC AACH NILu NOAA( PIpSSs
horse skulls and swords. He wore a
badge of the Dnm-Dum fraternity ON his
chest and often sat up all night to Yell .
On the day Of the big Intercollegiate
football match in the city 'rheo burrow
ed into the push. wearing yellow mack
intosh. two chrysanthenunls. a tin horn
and Il cane with ribbons ON it. From
noon until nidnieh, his face was never.
shut. and after the game l,e ran anlnck
in the Tcndcrloin. .-.> -: ~: r.
+ He. k'oked like a real student ON the
rampage. and when coarse hackman re-
marked. '"'rhere's a sissy: fer your life"
so that; rheo could hear him. his BOSOM
&swelled with pride. and he Went back 10
the village a made man. In one day and
ut nominal expense. he completed the
boncd >nielt, founder. elan, and lobster
courses and was ready for the San Juan
hill Of life. -
Soon after graduating 'f;leo accepted a
lucrative portfolio as rear rakemAn on
a gravel train and has beer, a good pro-
yidei: ever since.-St. Louis Star. ID