Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1900-11-16

OUR BUDGET OF HUEQR,
lAUcHTER-PRovoKlNC STORIES FOR
LOVERS OF FUN.
Her First Jar--With the Preserves-SfSns
His First DolIar-How to Acquire
It His Disheartenins Outlook - No
More of That-Too Many, ETC., Etc.
Said the bride: "Here's my first batch of
biscuit.
Just watt From the oven I'll whiscuit."
How the poor woman cried
~, When her hubby replied:
Let it burn! l don't think I should
riscuit."
Philadelphia Press.
With the Pres erves.
Miss Wunder-"Miss Antique is GER
tainly a well-preserved lady"
Miss Gabby-"Yes. That's why she
Is on the shelf" baltimore American.
Signs.
"Monkerly is losing his in
terest in golf"
Griggs-"What makes you think so?"
Briggs-"I saw him at his office yes
terday."-Harper's Bazaar.
His First Dollar.
"Oh, yes, have always kept the first
dollar 1 ever made. 1t was such
bum piece of work that l couldn't
Spend itr'
And the counterfelter laughed heart
lily at the recollection.-Detr Jour-
nal.
How to Acquire 1t.
1T takes generation of good blood
and refined rearing to produce that
lofty high-bred air, doesn't it,"
"Oh, no; any girl who is made head
clerk in ribbon department can ac-
quire 1t in three days" Chicago Rec
ord
His Disheartening Outlook.
Mrs. GoOde - you are the sixth
man who has asked me for something
to eat to-day"
The Tramp (sadly)-"I s'pose so. If
de competition in dis line gifts any
wuss, some Of usll have to go to
work.
No More of That.
as this homemade pie ?F
Eyes, John. You said you preferred
the homemade kind"
did L? Well, I've changed my
mind. The next time you get one
have it made just as far away from
home as possible
Separable Name For Twins.
Biggs-"What do you call your
twins?'
Diggs-"Henrietta."
Biggs-"But that's only one name"
Diggs-"Yes, but we divided it be-
tween them. We call the boy Henri
anu thC Sill Iltd. See.
just Advertised.
but suppose" one Of the spectators
said, "the parachute should fail to
open after you had detached it from
the balloon-what then?''
THAT wouldn't stop me-" answered
the daring aeronaut. I'D come right
on down. Chicago Tribune
Too Many.
Cholly-"Did any man ever kiss you
before 1 did?'
May (softly)-"Ye-es"
Cholly (excitedly)-"Tellm me his name
that l may thrash him..
May-"Oh! what's the use, Cholly?
He'd be too many for your'-Puch.
Not Self Conscious.
II will say" remarked the young
woman, ''that he is not afflicted with
that self-consciousness which marks
the person of deficient culture"
NO" answered Miss Cayenne, 'he
isn't at all self-conscious. He will be
tiresome by the hour without being
in the least aware of t."-Washing-
ton Star.
Having Good Time.
$50 you had a good time Oh that ex-
oursion, Mrs. Wiggins!'
"Oh, just grand"
Did you have any adventures?"
II think so; got on the wrong train
going, lost my pocketbook and umbrel-
Ia, broke my spectacles twice, and got
Oh the wrong train coming home."-
indianapolis Journal.
Her Tantalizing Method.
Il can't help admiring the ingenuity
Of the landlady at our boarding
house."
In what wayT'
"At breakfast time she burns a grain
Or two Of coffee on the kitchen stove,
30 as to fill the dining room with the
,dor. and then gives us chicory TO
rink. "-Chicago Tribune.