Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-07-26
RESPONSE TOA TOAST.

During the period of the democratic
state convention at Kansas City a ban
quet was given one evening at which
some Of the brightest members Of the
democratic party were in attendance
At the conclusion of the repast, a lawyer
of Kansas City was unexpectedly called
upon for to reply to the toast Of wine.
Coffee and Cigars" a rather awkward
subject to n before a mixed assem-
blage. Gilbert was, however; equal to
the mergenc and surprised. his audi
tors by delivering off-hand - remark
ably bright response, which h inter
Mountain reprints by request N
II should have preferred for my senti-
ment, Mr.. Toastmaster, Wine. Women,
Song and Laughter u perhaps with
your usual thoughtfulness o had in
mind Lord Byron's saying that that com
bination calls for prayers and soda-Wa-
ter the dag after.
s"I shall enter on no enconium upon
vine, Mr.. POSTMASTER, as Mr.. Webster
said of Massachusetts, in his famouS're-
| ply to Mr. .Hayne of South Carolina-it
| needs none. I shall rather discuss my
theme according to the modern historical
| method, and i am sure the subject is
worthy of it.
primitive man first sadly invented a
form of religion to teach mankind how
to die, and then with r~eactionary cheer-
fulness proceeded to compound some
sort of a prehistoric high ball for the
purpose of making the world seem a good
place to live in. In palliation of his con-
duct it should be borne in mind that
there were in those days no commercial
club, no parks and boulevards and the
woods were full of knockers. Under these
circumstances the opportunities for in
nocent merriment We're strictly limited,
and our ancestors may be said to have
been driven to drink.
istence and entered into politics, the
heat of argument provoked a thirst that
has never since been assuaged. To meet
this new condition there arose a demand
for mixed drinks. In this connection
it would be instructive to trace the ORR
gin and effect of new drinks upon the
raw material of successive civilizations.
but the authorities Notwithstanding the
nature of the subject matter are not SO
full as one would naturally suppose.
Fortunately, however, We are all famil-
lar with the origin of the gin hickey,
and most of us are acquainted with It's
effect-when taken at proper intervals.
eff time permitted and the banquet
committee would supply the ingredients
/ should be tempted to deliver a lecture
illustrating and describing the various
potations by which our festive .progeni-
tors got gay, morose, Or quarrelsome IN
those brave days of yOre, after the lee
ture, if it proved dry. you might imbibe
the illustrations.
Our forefathers were cast in q more
robust mould than we. their feeble. de-
scendants, and drank in a Titanic, way
out of tankards, and put countless DOT
ties of red wine under their belts on al
convivial occasions. even II they had to
go under the table with them. They were
willing to stoop to conquer. Our sport
ing blood has been cooled by the toll
of building cities: trying to get capita
) and labor ON a ball-bearing, antf-friqtion
basis; and in pouring the hot shot OF
civilization into the natives OF the Irop-
les.
;, To perform these feats successfully we
need clear heads and we have had to
, not attempt to do this too rapidly We
must allow for moments of depression
when something concrete like a cocktail
will excel any abstraction. no matter
how philosophic. Man until he has been
born again can only hope to be reason
ably good. Each individual hke thef Ted
eral government has his CONSTITUTIONS
Limitations for good or Ill.
""Thank God!' says Daniel Webster,
that If I am gifted with little OF the
!, that other spirit which would drag an
gels down.
: .sThis is sublime oratory, but 1t is not
) true. The gifted orator and statesman
? had both qualities. and his life was the
resultant of these opposing forces.
! I'm the morning. the parliament as
!, sembled in a mans brain passes high
resolutions for the days conduct: Dy
noon a succeeding parliament meets "a
l the same council chamber n modfnes
. the mornings ruling-this q
l cocktail before luncheon. The thing TO
do is to go home to your women folks
before parliament reassembles 1or q
} night session.
Wine, coffee and cigars; thigetssa triple
If not a holy alliance. sent by a benaf-
! cent Creator to enable h white man
5 to bear his burden. Wine Is ever Tor ex-