New-York tribune., 1900-10-28
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

David s. Sage and wife, OF Lebanon ILL., were
killed in a storm four years ago. In a suit for
settlement of the estate of $4,000 the question
arose which had died first! II Sage then his wifes
relatives would be entitled to her award. consist
Ing OF dover and homestead. If his wife died
first then her relatives would be entitled to moth
ing. There was way of proving which had died
first and the Court held that since woman is
weaker than man Mrs Sage must have died first.
The Making Of Musical Comedy.--But why
4S &ors yag call the hero of your musical comedy zof
We'll you know that in every perfect musical
have all t1e music you want but you need only
one Joke; The audience looks for it."
We'll when the heroine s asks DO you love as
isn't it?"-(Cleveland Plain Dealer.
''The superintendent of education at Manila
says The Kansas City Journal" has asked the
Kansas State Normal School for the terms upon
which a lot of Filipino teachers may be sent to
that school for English education. The regents
will grant free tuition to reasonable number of
the little brown brothers from the sea-"
''YoI told me-" aid the infuriated purchaser
that that brook on the farm you sold me never
Guess did," said the real estate man.
1T has been dry all summer"
fore, it could not run dry. we never deceive"-
indianapolis Press.
travelling pedler in Hallowen Me- drove
sharp trade recently in -four barrels He called on
the wlIe OF a business man and purchased barrels
for 10 cents each. and then sold them to the head
of the household at his place of business at 25
cents each.
He-Bertha. I am going to ask you a question.
question which will have lasting effect upon my
life as you answer II. Bertha, dear, will you a
she-No, Charley, 1 can't do that; but will h.
your wife.-(Boston Transcript.
Judge Ferris of Cincinnati is dissatisfied with
the present method of naturalization. He says I'm
going to make this ceremony more impressive
The mere act OF swearing in these people makes
no impression on them. shall procure an Ameri-
can flag. and every male candidate for citizenship
will have to kneel and kiss its folds. / want to
make 1t one of the most important acts OF their
lives want them to tingle down to their toes
when they hear our National airs"
Publisher.This story Of yours is splendid Don't
use nom de plume Publish over your own name;
Author-It's money I'm after, not fame
Publisher-But you'll get just much money in
Authorize ;:. / won't; If publish over my own
The Rev. Cyrus Townsend Brady tells story of
little boy he knew the frontier who belonged
to a family who had trained him to believe in the
deep water form of baptism and was experiment.
ing with the household cat and bucket of water.
The animal evidently did believe in immersion
for she resisted bit and scratched until finally the
little boy, with his hands covered with scratches
and with tears in his eyes. gave up the effort to
effect the regeneration of the cat Dog gone
your he cried, 'go and be Episcopal cat II you
want to-"
Where 1t Would Not work.-"Johnny. dear. did
you try to mind the Golden Rule in your dealings
with your playmates at school to-day?'
Yes m, till we had recess. You can't IL in
football: you know It'd kill the game deadern a
door naiL"-(Chicago Tribune.
Because of the loss OF the relief steamer Lily OF
the North which wrecked OF the Labrador
coast recently Jay Jansen, the agent in charge OF
a whaling station at Cape Haven. In Bafhn Land
has been cut OF from all prospect OF communica-
ton with the outside world for another year jan
has been alone at Cape Haven since 1897 and
the Lily OF the North was to have carried TO him
years supply OF food and coal. No ship can reach
him till next summer. and II is feared that long
before that time he will died OF starvation or
exposure.
Mr. G. Ormandizer struggling TO the first
turkey his wife had cooked)-Say Mary the
bones in this bird thicker than shad's-iust
hear the knife grit.
Mrs. q. Ormandizer almost CRYING with anxietvl
You must be against the shells. John.
Yes, John: don't you remember that you asked
Life '''' WIN OYSTERS -'N'00NiSn
William Woke. a millionaire OF Chicago was
born in Germany. While there his father read him
a translation OF Uncle Toms Cabin" and this so
impressed the lad that as he heaEd slavery
TO be fought he came to this country TO lend
his aid in ending It.
First Politician-why is II that your man will
make no promises? Just look at the promises our
candidate has made.
Second Potician-well you see our man ex
poets TO be Observation-Disclosures Press