The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-07-29
EVER BEEN r A HOUSE PARITY
Here's an Article That Tells Just What One q
Lke-The So-Called Fun.

Here's an Article That Tells Just What One e
Like-The So-Calied Fun.
I've been to one Of those things they call 4
house party" said the man from Brooklyn.
and / think | have every reason to conaratu-
late myself on escaping from II alive. left
rather suddenly and unless l am towed by a
pair OF canal mules ! have no notion that I will
ever attend another. 1t was my Hrst house
party and | had q sort OF a feeling inside Of me-
that | ough'n't to 20. but that idiot Smelling who
lives next door TO ne told me II was more fun
than anything else In the world and that q lot
of pretty girls would be there. In a weak mo-
ment ! relented. II was because Of the pretty
girls. II Is also because Of them that I shall
never go to another one Of those things.
You see there we're two house parties. The
Smokes had a houseful Of people and the Kill
lens who live next door had another bunch. I
was with the Smokes. I'm a modest man and
as 1t was my first experience among young and
giddy things l guess l was quite a Joke. After
a while | sort OF got In the game but I always
was a little oft afraid that something would
happen. Ever been to a house party2 No?
We'll. II you ever go to one don't be indignant II
a bucket or water Is thrown into your face some
evening Just as you turn around a corner In a
dark hall. because there's a girl behind that
bucket and she really believes that that's q
whole lot OF fun. Don't cuss either II what
seems to be seven million tin pans crash outside
Of your door some night Just as you are doing
on, wax ing you up with q start and almost turn
Ing your hair gray. That's a girl, too. They
do that kind OF things at q house party and
everybody seems to like 1t. ! pretended to like
II myself, but, say. there was one little plump
girl there whose neck ] would like TO wiring.
She was the darndest-but then what's the use
OF telling you about her. She wasn't the means
OF driving me away. although she would have
b-en If this other thing hadn't happened.
When the gang at the smokes and the gang
at kLlens worked oil all their gags at home they
began 10 Use them over again on one another.
1t was nothing for the killem gang to come
around under our windows at midnight. with q
chaperon. Of course. and wall like q lot Of sick
cats all night long. In retaliation our crowd
would go over to the Killems the next night and
bang bed Stats against the side of the house for
hours at a time. Oh. 1t was lovely! Before
I'd been there a week l felt Us though I'd give
ten years Of my life for a good nights sleep.
But there was no such thing. The staying
powers OF those young women were wonderful
TO observe. Well, at the end of the first week
the killem gang came over with a flag Of truce.
and II was agreed that there should be peace for
a few days l believe tho idea was TO get to-
gether and have a dance or something like that.
Anyway our crowd fell in with the proposition
and everything was lovely. Our young men
began TO get mixed up with the girls of the other
party, and the young men of the other party
discovered that We had some pretty nice girls
with US, Anyway, everything was lovely and
the hooks and corners along the river bank and
the crows nests In the trees were overworked,
We'll. now, there were two hummers In the
killem crowd and two OF our young men were
rushing them to death. II was a great firta-
ton ana a6o everyb2dy was shs amused One after.
came back from a long walk with the hummers,
and they were very mysterious. One Of them
confided to me that the hummers had prom
ised TO send them over something nice TO eat
for dinner Well. the some thing nice 10 eat
came over after q while, A funky from the
Killems brought 1t over. 1t was on a silver
the young men uncovered 1t there was revealed
two slices OF toast Just covered with fresh mush-
rooms cooked In butter, 1t was a sight to
around and looked hungry, but those two
men sat down at the table and ate the entire
OUT without SO much as Offering 70 share
planned their, failure to share the luxury by
saving that It was a gift from the RUNNERS
and was sacred.
outside to sit down on the veranda. We had been
out there about fifteen minutes when the XII
lem funky came along and handed one Of the
young men a note. he read II with an express
sion on his face that ! never seen on a man be-
fore. When he had finished he let out the
most awful shrek you ever heard and then
the note rushed into the house, Jam
ming his fist down his throat and letting out
the most awful glrgles. The rest Of us lust
on in astonishment, but the other young
man who had been out with the hummers, feel
Inc instinctively that the troubles Of his friend
concerned him, picked up the note and read IL.
We'll. sir, his performance was worse than
the other fellows. He Just hollered out like
a dying man and then dashed In the house after
mis- friend Everybody else followed Cf course.
! stayed outside and picked up the note.
thought 1t was the easiest way TO get az { Q
I wont try to give YOU the word
Ing Of it, but It was TO the effect that the mlst-
rooms were not mushrooms, but toadstools.
had sent them over for a Joke, they said.
md had only lust learned thar they were apt
would result from their mistake they remained,
TO. &c. I went in the house. Those two
younR men we're writhine on the floor They
we're more scared than hurt, az II was n little
'arly for the poison to work. We filed them
~ with salt water and mustard, and after On
lour's work got most Of the stun out Of them
a doctor had come and he did The
The young men pulled through all right
nd the next morning we're almost as well 10
'ver, although a little weak from the strain.
Il packed up my bag AT once and said good
". ] marvelled that ] had put up with q
Iouse party as long as ! had I don't know
What they did with the hummers, but as SHELL
ne Is not back vet | suppose that the house
ts still on. I am thankful TO get back
live. No more house parties for me