The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1900-05-18
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THE FUNNY MAN :
BY Kennctt F. Harris. :
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAt
II WOULD have been disappointed
if YOU had told me that you had


if YOU had told me that you had
a previous engagement said the man
wLo dealt in grain through the medi-
ann Of tapes and yellow bulletins to
the chronic dyspcptic with the sad
expression of countenance.
wouldn't have been the only one dis
Amounted. either; the madam would
Nave gone into mourning. She thinks
YOU are abou. the whole thing when
II comes to entertaining miscel-
laneous crowd that never heard you
before"
That's good" said the dyspcptic,
gratefully. as he sealcd himself az
The lunch counter. II like TO hear
that. II makes me think that ] have
not lived entirely in vain
Don't mention it," said the grain
man. II thought it would please you.
80 as II happened to be truth said
II. 1t wasn't any particular eNertion
TO say il. and ! don't really deserve
much credit. She told me once that
She thought YOU were awfully funny.
but She don't know how funny you
really are
AT the same time" continued the
dyspeptic. II would rather have been
invited for my more sterling and SOLID
qualities ! thought that your wife
knew and appreciated them. IT gals
when am as good rs told that u rs
the mere briliancy-t meretrcious
brilliancy. I might say-of my con-
vcrsational and anecdotal powers that
has got me the bid"
IL wouldn't eat any more of those
doughnuts if / were YOU" suggested
the grain man. you'll suffer Tor ~
later on and your family will suffer
more or less, too. Honest. though.
and not with any intention of string
ing you Id like to know how you
got IT.
I'm the legitimate way Of business.
replied the dyspeptc.
I'm referring to that coruscating
CAB OF yours"
I'm glad to notice that you don't
fall into the popular error OF think.
ing it comes naturally. ] got il as all
reniuses get their requirements. by
hard work. AS a kid | was dilidcn'
and reserved"
You have got bravely over IT,.
Certainly have; but that was thu
way started out. l was that kind o
n kid that when I was on a visit u
iiy Uncle Georges / only opened IN,
mouth once. except TO put food int
IL. in the three weeks that wa
there. az course you understand tina
said Yes and NO and Thank yeu.
believe l will take another piece bu
didn't attempt anything in the con
sensational way"
Except the once?"
Except the once. The way tina
happened was that there was mar
ti,d cousin at dinner that day an
she had brought her baby along.
I'VE were about half way throug
the dinner and they were all talkin
about the baby. After awhile Their
was let-up and l raised my eye
from the tablccloth and saw my maj
ried cousin was looking at me.
looked at her, too. She was not at a
bad-lool<ing woman, but that WASH
why, exactly. / guess ] Just locke
at her because ! happened to and
hadn't the grit to break away. &c
that my face was getting hot 81
smiled at me sort of encouragingl
but it didn't have cooling effect.
realized that it was up to me to SO
something. so ! said it. Even then
was not the boy 10 shirk respons
bility. ! asked her: is it boy or
grip
The effect was something tr
mcndous. My Uncle George let u
carving knife drop on the floor, M
my Cousin Caroline, who was rath'
an idiotic kind of girl, sputtered {
glass of water she was drinkin
ahc rest of them didn't say anythir
they just laughed. Say!
And my Uncle George wiped h
eyes with his napkin and he reniarl'
in choky kind Of voice: why. w
liam, you're getting quite convcrs
tonal.' Wouldn't that frost you?"
Il think" sni' the grain man, wi
an air ~ thoughtful consideration.
think that it would have nipped =
eout the edges. - that ! think