Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-05-23
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Ibee. Yes, he has hives. ."-Philadel-
iphia Bulletin.
Maud-"If you kiss me I'll call mann
ma" Claud-"Don't you do It,
don't like to kiss old ladies' Judge
Il wish | knew whether Charles real
i'y loves me or not" said the dear girl
as she toyed with her engagement ring
She'd find It: Doctor my wife has
lost her voice; what can do about itr'
eco home late some nfght"-Gollier's
Weekly.
"Ies, | found the editor in." "How
did he strike your" "He did 1t SO
quickly don't w."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Fair Amateur-"Yes, painted this.
What school of painting would you call
it?' Artist (gently)-"Boarding school,"
New York Weekly.
There's n man for you! He is not
afraid to begin at the foot of the lad
der" "What Is he2" Hes hod-
arrier."-Harlem Life.
Ill-timed departure: The One-"Yes,
sir, he died owing nobody" The
Other-"What an unfortunate time to
expire. indianapolis Press.
Papa, what Is meant by those war
dispatches which speak of the enemy
being bottled upT "That, my boy.
means n victory that Is corker."
Merchant-That woman owes me
$50. Clerk-What for? Merchants
came In here saying she wanted to buy
a sideboard, and then didn't do It,
whats the difference between
fiddle and violn" "A fiddle is vo-
line when the man who plays II has on
a swallowtalled coat" t"-Chcago Rec
ord.
flnancicr is n man who makes lots
of money, isn't he, pap mo, Freddy.
"A iinancer is n man who gets hold of
lots of money other people make
Puck
'trhat advertisement said my bald
ness could be cured If would send
sample of my hair "Well?" None
of the men in our office could spare me
the sample"
81 see" said the girl to the bashful
lover that priest at Bethlehem IS
advising all the young men to marry.
l wonder if | can get him to write you
a personal letter."
Doctor-Do you notice ringing in
your ears? Fair Patient-C Certainly.
Doctor-Why do you say certainly?
Fair Patient-Im n telephone girl
philadelphia Record.
Gyer-Saw you out riding with your
girl yesterday" Myer-"Yes. Did you
ever meet herr" Gyer-"No; but father
says he was once Il pupil in her sun
day school class."-Chicago News.
Lady-"Why, you naughty boy. |
never heard such language since the
day l was born" Small boy-"Yes.
mum. l s'pose dere wus good deal
o. cussin' de day you wuz born."-
Pick-Me-Up.
Miss Wantoneaux-I thought you
considered Tom one man In a million.
Miss MaynchanZ-So | do. Miss Wan
| toneaux-Yet you've become engaged
TO Mr.. Richleigh. Miss Maynchanz-
Yes; he Is one man with million
Biggs Opening his envelope on pay
day)-I see have got my entire weeks
salary In one bill. Higgs Opening
somewhat larger envelope)-That's
nothing. have here one bill for my
entire weeks salary.-Chleago Trib-
une.
Housekeeper-"I don't believe you
ever did a stroke of work in your life"
'Tramp-"I was six years in one place,
num-" usekeeper-"Indeed! How
did you happen TO leave" Tramp
~ was pardoned out, mum!"-New
York Weekly.
| "Now," said Mr.. Meekton, as he got
into his overcoat, 81 must 90 home and
| explain to Henrietta" ''Is she demand
| ing an explanationT Certainly"
What aboutY" "My dear sir, how do
| know? | haven't been home yet
| Washington Star.
The clergymap's little boy was spend
| ing the afternoon with the bishops
children. "At the rectory," he said,
we've got a hen that lays an egg every
day." "Poohr' said Master Bishop,
my father lays n foundation stone
once week."-London Globe.
| Tess-I see you have n new young
man visiting you now. He's profess
sional man, isn't he? Jess-My, no!
He's too young to be more than an
! amateur. Tess-Don't be facetlous.
What's his profession? Jess-Really.
i don't know. l believe I'm the object
of his calling.-Philadelph Press.
LADY, want to put in this ad. for
servant girl. 1t will go in three lines.
won't it? Clerk (after rapid computa-
| tion)-No, madam. It's three lines,
and three words over. Wen have to
charge you for four lines, but you can
put in four more words If you wish.
Lady (suddenly inspiredl-Ah, just the
thing. Say ''police station opposite cor
ner."- Press.
Her experience with the men doesn't