The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1900-02-24
Mr.. Jobson Gets Dinner

wv his Office at five o'clock the other
afternoon he found the front door
locked Concluding that the catch had
accidentally dropped, he got out his
latch key and opened the door. He
was surprised TO find the vestibule
door locked, too. Mumbling something
about the inefiicacy and imbecility of
modern patent locks, he used his latch
key on the vestibule door also, and en-
tered his abode. He had hung his coat
and hat on the rack before he noticed
the queer, lonesome silence that broods
over house the occupants of which
are all out. Mr.. Jobson was visibly rat
Aed.
"Jane!" he called to his wife, some
what commandingly from the bottom
of the stairs, at the same time mutter-
fng something about women who stay
upstairs primping all the afternoon.
But there was no reply. Mr.. Jobson
went to the head of the basement stairs.
''Lilyl" he called TO the black serv-
ant. Lily replied not.
swell, here's a deuced pretty motel"
calculated Mr.. Jobson, spreading his
legs out in the hall and looking savage.
"What's the meaning Of 1t, I'd like to
know? Man comes home from toll
and drudgery at his regular daily hour
and finds his home as deserted as a
northwestern boom town church. Wife
gadding the streets, servant off attend
ing some five o'clock tea and parlor So
cial, and no more sign of dinner than
OF elephant traclIsl And I'm so hun
cry that / could eat burro stuffed
with frecrackers! Now, this is the
worst yet. I'm willing to do as much
and to stand as much as the next man
for the sake of peace and quiet life,
and to keep my home together, but I'll
be eternally fiibbertgibbeted If this
isn't too"
The situation bore so heavily upon
Mr.. Jobson's spirits that he couldn't
finish the sentence. He set to work
thinking out schemes whereby he
could exhibit his displeasure. He was
In two minds as to whether he would
receive Mrs. Jobson upon her return
with fiery and sarcastic illusions, or
greet her with solemn, martyr-like Dig
nifty, displaying evidences Of grief and
disappointment too profound for ade-
quate expression. Mr.. Jobson felt very
much abused. He looked around to
see IL there was any note OF explana-
tion tackled to the top OF the bureau,
or resting on the mantel, or stuck in an
easel on the piano. There was no note.
"Nope," unused Mr.. Jobson, when he
had finished his search, there's not
even line of explanation. just plain
case OF heartless, callous Indifference.
And after the way / have toiled and
moiled-"
The thought was almost too much
for Mr.. Jobson's composurc. lie coll
lected himself, however, with great eff
fort, and decided upon a course to pur-
sue. AT first he reflected that ii would
be n good scheme for him to write n
short, jerky note addressed 10 Mrs.
Jobson, stick IL up in some prominent
place, and then depart for a wild, tu-
multuous time OF IL downtown, return
ing at three O'Clock in the morning in
q night-liner and an aggressive frame
Of mind. But he remembered that the
last time he had chosen this method
of exhibiting his displeasure over n
fancied grievance he had hrrdly been
able to drag himself around for n week
afterward.
"Too much of boomerang that way"
thought Mr.. Jobson, deciding not to
have recourse TO the tumultuous plan
al know just what I'll dol" he sud-
denly thought, and he proceeded i'm
mediately TO put his scheme into oper-
alton. He took OF his coat and elab-
orately rolled up his sleeves. Then he
descended to the basement kitchen.
He lighted all the burners in the gas
range, coming perilously close to blow
ing himself TO eternity in the opera
tion, and started in TO cook dinner for
himself. First he dumped about half
= pound of coffee into the pot, and, fill
Eng II up TO the top with water, put IL
on TO boil. Then he dug around for ma
tcrials wherewith 10 make himself
some corn bread lie ranged all the
materials about him on the kitchen
table, and within five minutes he was
In corn meal. molasses and other things
up " his elbows. He put great many