davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1900-02-27

One evening when a travelling circus
was on It's way to a large town the
proprietor resolved to make a halt for
lrce miles from the town. So an
gent was sent on in advance to the
village to secure a favorable field for
the rest by the wayside.
Noticing a large and suitable field,
he sought out the Owner and told him
lie would like to turn something out in
the field for an hour or SO before going
OF to the town and INCLUDED by ask
ing how much lie required for the use
Of the field.
"Well," said the farmer, Il suppose
half a crown won't hurt you"
"That," vas the ready reply, twill
do very well. But perhaps you don't
mind taking n crown" an offer the
somewhat astonished yeoman was only
too glad to accept.
Fancy his surprise when, n few hours
aftcrward, a herd of elephants, a doz-
en- dromedarieS and about 2OO horses
and ponies had not only been turned
III into the field. bat were fairly WHIP
ing theh heritage out of existence.
That the farmer was furious goes
without saying, but the circus"proprie-
tor pointed out that he had received
twice as much as he had asked for
something to be turned out for an hour
or two.
"But." roared the farmer, more irate
than ever, "do YOU think | bargained
for n Noah's ark ?"-Tit-Bits.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1900-02-27
A Queer Transaction.

"a casual observer might suppose
that our business IA intensely pro-
SAFE" said a Poydras street commits
sion merchant. "but such is far from
being the case. All sorts of queer
things happen in it, not the least of
which are occasional consignments we
receive from nowhere in particular.
"For instance, back in 1896 or there
about we got a load of fine onions one
day by boat. No directions accOmpa-
MED them, but we took it for granted
they would arrive by mail. When the
expected letter failed to put in an APP
pearance and we instituted inquiries,
we could get no clew to the identity Of
the shipper, and all we could do was to
sell the lot and deposit the money in
bank, waiting on a claimant.
"Fully three years had elapsed when,
to my surprise, another load of the
same kind of onions came to hand, ac-
companied by Il letter from the sender
saving that he had forwarded a similar
consignment at such and such a date
and that his business relations with
the house had been so satisfactory he
wished to repeat the transaction. We
sent a check for the lump suln, but
what the dickens he meant by his bust
ness relations being satisfactory when
he had had only one deal with us, and
didn't get his money on that, | never
found out. | suppose he just forgot
New Orleans Times-Democrat.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1900-02-27

"Mac," the Scotch prefix, means son,
so Macpherson means "son of a par
son." and Macdonald is the same as
Donaldson. Fairfax means fair Of
face"
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1900-02-27
The Polite Lie In Embryo.

A little child has given us a peep into
the process by which the polite lie is
developed. Mamma was talking to
Ellie about the absence of Edith from
the childrcn's party.
"You are sorry" said mamma, that
Edith could not Gomez
Efiie replied, having enjoyed herself,
"Oh, | don't mind much"
To which I'M rejoined: But
Edith is i'll. That is why she couldn't
come. You must be sorry" Efie IN
sidered. Yes; of ourse Pm sorry"
she said. but it doesn't hurt me-in.
side."-London Chronicle.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1900-02-27

The wild white sheep is found no
where in the world but in Alaska. and
few specimens for mounting whole
have ever becn obtained.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1900-02-27
Are Your Horses Feet All Right

Does he stand on a dry floor? are
his hoofs cracked and sore? has he
contracted feet, cprnS, quarter cracks
or thrush Have you felt that you
ought to be to the expense of getting
a veterinary to prescribe for him ?
Before doing so try Morrison's English
Liniment, a single bottle kept at hand
will save you all this worry and ex-
pence, and it will also cure sore back
and shoulders, sprains, contracted
cords, swellings and lameness. For
fresh cuts, corks, wounds, etc, an APP
plication will at nee stop it's bleeding
and give relief. 1t is one of the best
remedies ever used upon a horse. Be
your own veterinary by using Morri-
rison's English Veterinary Remedies
PARLoR DRUG STORE.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1900-02-27
The Emerton Gate.

Liz lhNenolon cOmprenenuS Tie
combination with adjacent fence post
having sleeves adjustably mounted
thereon, for holding wire strands of
other sleeves adjustably and remova-
bly, mounted on the post. One being
at the upper position OF n post and
the other at the lower part Of the
other, each having an elongated arm
tapered toward its outer end, one arm
extending up and the other down and
a tn bular brace mounted between
the post and adapted to receive the
tapered arms in its open ends.
Whereby the brace can be mounted
between the posts, and often they are
set up. The posts are set into the
ground in any preferred manner, they
may be driven by suitable implements
applied to the upper ends thereof, or
suitable anchors may be attached to
the lower embedded ends of the sew
eral posts. The posts and clamps
may be used with practical advantage
without the addition of further at
tachments and in setting up the fence,
the posts are first arranged at a prop
er predetermined interval or dis
lance apart, with the requisite uum-
Der of clamps mounted thereon ur
ready to be applied thereto each run
ner whether of barb or plain wire,
is stretched and clamped at the
several points. 1t fastens to the
post and it will be understood that
the runncrs may be either single, two
strands or of a band form, either
straight or twisted. When the
clamps are secured to the posts to hold
the wires in immovable position, the
clamping lips against the inner p0r-
ton of which the wire INNER have
bearing are closely drawn towards the
adjacant parts of the post. BY turning
the eye bolts the latter not only NOV
ing the clamps as stated, but also hold
ing the same against accidental olsen
gagements. A very ornamental
appearance could be produced by using
broad fanciful runners. and placing
caps of spherical form on the top Of
the several posts, and artistically
painting the several members en-
ployed in the make up of the
fence.
Generally of course caps of other
contours may be equally well used and
the fence as thus ornamented would
be especially applicable for surround
ing yards, or lawns of dwellings, or res
idence. Many unique combinations
can be worked out by changing the po-
sition of the clamps and the sleeves
for holding the diagonal brace, and
numerous advantages other than those
stated will appear from time to time
to those using the fence, as construct
ed IN accordance with the foregoing
description for enclosures containing
small stock. The clamps can be ar
ranged closely o 3ether between the
bottom of the posts, but the said
clamps may be elevated at the bottom
to allow small stock to pass from n
enclosure to another and contine larger
stock in a single enclosure. The fence
being composed exclusively of metal,
is absolutely fire proof. Its metallic
nature also renders it more durable
and comparatively inexpensive when
the frail nature of the ordinary wood
en- fence is considered.
EDWIN G. ENERTON,
Post Mills, vt.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1900-02-27

Wife (who has been out shopping all
day)-Oh, dear, how tired and hungry
| am.
Husband - Didn't you have any
luncheon in town?
Wife-A plate of soup only. l didn't
feel that | could afford to have more.
Husband-Did you find the hat you
wanted?
Wife-Oh, yes. 1t is Il perfect dream,
John. and 1t only cost $oS.-Collier's
Weekly.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1900-02-27
The Price of Admission.

Mrs. Smyth docking up from her pa
per)-What does it mea in the Wash
ington news when it speaks of 1.-The
lower houee?"
representatives. The senate is higher.
Mrs. Smyth--IIow is it higher? Do
you mean that it costs more to get
Observation-Disclosures Record.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1900-02-27
Danger Of Colds and La Grippe.

The greatest danger from colds and
la grippe is their resulting in Pneumonia.
Ii reasonable care is used, however,
and Chamberlain's Cough Remedy taken
all danger will be avoided. 1t will cure
a cold or an attack of la grippe in less
time then any other treatment. 1t is
pleasant and safe TO take. For sale by
Il. A. Drown & Co., Druggists. DIV
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1900-02-27

UeWitt's Witch Hazel SaIve
Cures Piles. .S>:aids. Burns.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
ERa eRse Witness 30X.

ut with pleasure that tell you what DR. Peces Golden
cal Discovery and Pellets have doe for me-" writes Mrs M
Palmer of Peede, Kaufman Co.. Texas 1.-TWO years
taken with stomach and bowel trouble Everything would
me in distress lived two weeks milk and that
pain felt though would death Three doctors
attended said had dyspepsia said catarrh of the
stomach and bowels. They attended Zone ine)
year. stopped taking their medicine and tried other patent ed
better and grew weak and would
huter could not do kind work Now my
work WELL gaming flesh and strength and any,
thing want"
III had been troubled with catarrh of the
trouble" writes Mr. W. D. Merchant Of Tyeburg Clarion Co.,
Penna "Had doOoed for time without relief then began
to take DR. Perce Golden Medical Discovery bottles
Before began to take ueghd Pounds end uegh
working steadily and feel like we'll send you many
thanks
"Or contracted deep cold about the of July 1899
had terrible cough" writes Mr. Will H Whtnie Of Arkon
Rockingham Co.. Va 1--WE called doctor and he pronounced
irritation of the bronchial tubes with ahac trouble and
formed that liable die anytime He told
that could keep the bronchial tubes he might him
but after treating him several weeks and growing all
the time concluded Perces Golden Medical Discovery
and Pleasant Pellets had miraculous
about by the of these medicines and of had wonderful
faith in them. am happy tell that have been dsap
pointed and that boy we'll He used three bottles Of Golden
Medical Discovery home and vial Of the Pellets
then we'll enough West Virginia taking supply with him.
receipt of letter from him, from which quote II
ueH and ha'ay and getting oe,y feshy.'"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

thickest df de crowd. Bout two weeks
ago Brndder White come ober to my
cabin one eavenin an CINE me to UNI
derstand dat he had sebenteen sorts of
diseases an was not long fur dis world.
He wanted me to promise dat he should
hev headboard at his grave an dat
would end mis- bereaved and grief
stricken family a gallon OF soft soap
an a bushel of turnips. hev bin
waitin eber since to h'ar dat de grim
destroyer had carried him off, an my
surprise at seein him present de odder
night was as great as dat of de man
who runs ag'in a sleepin hog on de
sidewalk. Yes; Kumfurt was right in
de swim an had fogotten all about his
sebenteen diseases, an de ruby ring on
his finger nebber cost less'n sebenty
cents. | has got turnips an soft soap
in de cellar, but dey am not fur Brud-
der Whites grief stricken fam'ly-not
dos year.
81 am one who believes dat all men
an women must hev social enjoyment
an air made better fur it, but it grieves
me to see either white or black folks
make fuless of deirselves an pay an en-
trance fee to boot. A cake walk am
tomfule nonsense. 1t might do we'll
huff fur boys an gals, but when grown
up folks go into it de case am differ
ent. 1t would be jest as sensible to
play leapfrog or to stand on yo'r head
'longside de wall l amt got de power
to stop 'em, an i can't prevent mem
bers of dis club from attendin 'em, but
, Pm gwine to say to yo' dat de next
niger who borrys money of me to fule
away on a cake walk has got to be
nailed to de airth or I shall trip him
ober wild crash.
Oar was time when de hull Guild
race was treated as chil'en an amused
as chiPen, but dat time has passed.
Yves growed up an progressed an am
supposed to hev mo- dignity dan
monkey on a hand organ. l amt
gwine to do no shoutin at yo', an dis
kentry amt gwine to splinters if yo'
decide to keep up desc cake walks.
Fze jest bin givin yo' my individual
opinyun, an I jest want to add dat if
yo' feel yo' must make fules of yo'r-
selves once in awhile or DuSt it
would be far easier an cheaper an mo-
to de credit of de race to sit on de
cellar stairs in de darkness an bob
about an grin at de empty later bin.
OATS all I've got to say, an we will
now blow out de lamps an break de
meetin in two"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

shoes. 1t was five minutes before
one cooled his mouth with an icicle
either of them could speak, and then
hanging to the clothesline and slut
tered:
"B-b-boss, what s-s-sort of a
g-g-game is this?"
Yes, what sort OF a g-g-game?"
added the other as a SNOWFALL melted
in his mouth.
Its no game at ALL It's an expert
ment, as l told you. What have you
done with those lozenges?"
"S-s-spit EN- out, durn yet"
Yes; sp-spit 'em OUT"
But you Mustn't do 1t. These are
to raise the temperature Of your blood
until it affects the temperature OF the
atmosphere. II you'd keep sucking
the lozenges, you'd have been perspir-
ing by this time. Sit down and try
it again"
Bill, said the first as he continued
to eat snow and draw in long breaths
of the frosty air, does it look like a
cold blooded attempt to burn up the
vitals of two respectable gents?"
1T do, Sam; it do"
And by burnin up our vitaIs take
away our appetites?"
That's the game"
'If was playing any game. would
I promise you quarter apiece" asked
Mr. Bowser.
rs my solemn opinion that We
would
That's our solemn opinyunv
Mr. Bowser was about to protest and
increase hislcazh. offers when the two
gentlemen y .rned vitaIs fell upon
him The went down together,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

range in the kitchen and hungrily eyed
the remains of dinner he took their
! temperature and pronounced it normal
and then escorted them to the back
yard. There were snow banks against
the fence, and he selected positions
and sat them down. 1t was a keen,
cold night one made to order for such
an experiment.
Now, then said Mr. Bowser as all
was ready. Il take it that you feel
cold?"
We dol" replied the men in
chorus through their chattering teeth.
That is splendid. I estimate that
there is a difference Of at least 40 de-
grees between your temperature and
that of the weather You will now
Each OF you take a lozenge in your
mouth and let it slowly dissolve. In
two minutes your blood ought to be
the same temperature as the weather.
In five you ought to imagine that rob-
ms are singing and daisies blooming
around you"
As Mr.. Bowser wasn't experimenting
on himself he discreetly retired to the
warm atmosphere Of the kitchen and
took his stand at window. He had
scarcely begun his observations when
one OF the tramps rolled over and be-
gan to kick like a horse tangled up in
his harness, while the other sprang to
his feet and spat and spluttered and
coughed and crammed his mouth full
OF snow.
What are you fellows up to-"
shouted Mr. Bowser as he rushed out.
They gave him no heed. They SEEM
ed to be acrobats let loose, and they
went through more antics than as II
they had picked up dozen hot horse
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
BROTHER GARDENERS LECTURES
! He is Down on Cake Walks and Gives
His Reason why. E
Copyright, 1900 by C. B. Lewis.)

His Reason Why.
Copyright, 1900, by c. B. Lewis)
what | want to speak to yo' about
dis eavenin," said the president of the
Limekiln club after the regular bust
ness of the meeting had been disposed
of, lam in regard to cake walks. Pze
bin informed dat sartin members of
dis club hev got togedder an planned
put cake walk fur every Saturday
night doorin de winter, an l want it
known right yere an now dat I'm OPP
posed to de idea. I'm opposed to it
on gineral grounds an not bekase I'm
down on amusements. l dunno who
invented de cake walk, but l reckon
it was a white man who wanted to
make fules of all de niggers, men an
women alike. Hevin heard a heap
about SIGH entertainments an nebber
hevin tended one, l went to Water
millyon hall de odder eavenin as an
onlooker
What was de fust spectacle dat
greeted my eyes? Heaps an heaps Of
Guild folks all dressed in DER Sunday
clothes an bowin and GRIMM like so
many monkeys. Oar wasn't huff dig
nifty in all dat crowd to jump a cat
ober de alley fence. One of de fust
pussons my eyes lighted on was our
Pickles Smith. he dun come to me de
day befo' dat cake walk to borry So
to git shoes fur his chiPen, but he had
used de money to buy yaller necktie
an a dimun pin to show him off.
While his ole wife was at de washtub
an groanin wild de backache an his
chil'en couldn't go outdoahs fur de
want of shoes Pickles was squirtin
around like a young man of 20 an
tellin how cake walks had bin de
salva5hun of America.
"One of de pussons who contested
fur de cake was our Samuel Shin.
Look at him ober dar. He sits all
bumped ober, as if house had fell
on to him. Two days befo' dat non
sense he came over to my house an
borryed a dollar ia git medicine fur
his rheumatic. He limped in both legs
an couldn't straighten his back. My
dollar went fur blue suspenders an a
freckled shirt, an from de way he
twisted hisself around I couldn't be-
lieve he ever had a pain or an ache
A man so vars old ought to hev some
dignity, no matter what his color, but
Samuel was ulayin de fule as bad as
de young folks of Is.
IAN our Waydown Bebee was dar.
Brudder Bebee didn't come to me to
borry any money, but it aln't ober
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

simply keep on raising the tempera-
ture. It's the simplest thing in the
world, and yet nobody seems to have
thought of it. Mrs. Bowser, consider
the north pole as discovered. Con-
slider it discovered by Mr.. Bowser."
He stepped back and bowed before
her, and the cat came out from under
the lounge and sQuinted at both and
wondered whether it was a question Of
science of mousetraps.
Eyes, but how are you going to raise
the temperature of the body a hundred
degrees or more?" queried Mrs. Bow
ser.
Just as easy as lifting up your foot
Do you see these lozenges? They con
tain no less than six different redhot
ingredients. including cayenne pepper.
Two of them are warranted to make
the blood fairly boil and cause the
temperature around the pole to seem
like an August day in America.
shall at once consult the government
about sending out an expedition. The
government provides the ship, and
Bowser's lozenges do the rest"
But you haven't tried them yet"
mo, but l am about to DO so. I
wonder if our cook wouldn't eat one
and then sit on snow bank in the
back yard and see how it worked?"
"Of course she wouldn't"
well, there are others. III find a
couple of tramps who'll sit out all
night for a quarter apiece. III run a
pair of them in at once and get the
experiment under way
'You'd-you'd better wait," she fall
tered as he started for the door.
why waltz" he asked. Its cold
night. with snow and tramps at hand
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
MR.. BOWSER'S TRIBULATIONS.
He Makes an Experiment in the In
terest of Science.

Copyright, 1900, by c. B. Lewis.)
do you know" began Mr.. Bowser
after dinner the other evening-"do
you know what prevents men from
reaching the north pole?"
Several things" replied Mrs. Bow
ser. who, being the only one present,
took it that the query was addressed
to her.
Eyes, several things, but principally
because of the cold. But for the awful
temperature around the pole men could
easily overcome the other difficulties.
When the thermometer registers 100
degrees below zero, the life blood Of
the strongest man congeals. He must
either retreat or die
well, what of it," she asked.
What of it," he repeated, with
chuckle. 'If you overcome the cold,
you discover the pole, don't you?"
And you have found a way of over
coming the cold, l suppose. 1t is two
weeks since you had fad, and l was
wondering what would come next. If
you are going to visit the north pole
with a lot of hot water bags strapped
around your body to keep your tenn,
perature at summer heat, let's hear
from it.
Being as you are a woman and
being as every woman is about half
idiot, l can overlook your sarcasm,
Your way of encouraging a husband
to seek for fame is to belittle every
plan he originates. Had Columbus had
a wife like you this American CONT
nent would have continued to be
paradise for woodchucks. Expecting
nothing but ridicule and sarcasm in
reply, l will, however. ask you a ques-
ton or two. Suppose that a man
going out with a temperature of 20 de-
grees below zero raises the tempera
ture of his body 80 or 40 degrees"
THAT would Offset the cold" re-
piled Mrs. Bowser.
Your head is not filled with saw
dust after all Yes, it would work that
way. and don't you see my plan? To
meet the cold of the north pole We
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

week since his wife was tellin me dat
he had consumpshun an couldn't work
no mo-. She reckoned dat one of his
lungs was clean gone and de odder
pullin hard on de halter to break
away an follow arter, an l had laid
away TO bushels of taters to help him
frew de winter. Yes; Brudder Bebee
was dar, an he was twistin an dodgin
an GRIMM an enjoyin de occashun
bout fo'teen times mo- dan a camp
meetin. He was workin harder dan
as if he had an ak in his hand, and |
believe dat he an his partner cum
mighty nigh takin de prize fur bein
de two biggest fules on de floah 1t
am needless to add dat dem 70 bushels
of taterS won t find DER way to his
cabin dis winter.
'As | cast my eyes ober de crowd l
also obsarye Sorghum Johnson. Three
days ago met him gwine into a pawn
shop wild some beddin, an he told me
a woeful tale bout sickness an hard
luck. De money he got fur dat beddin
went into a pair Of shiny shoes, an
dem shiny shoes was jest slingin der
selves all ODER de hall like a cat walkin
on a hot stove.
IAN l noticed Kumfurt White in de
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

for experiment. If an expedition is to
be sent out it will wish to start in the
spring"
But it will end in row"
1T will end in the discovery OF the
north pole and make the name of Bow
ser better known than that of Column
bus. You just keep quiet and let me
run this thing"
He put on his hat and overcoat, and
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

it did not take him five minutes TO find
a couple of tramps who were sloshing
about between his house and the cor
ner. Whsn he explained what he
wanted nd his willingness to pay,
they bot1 eheerfulIy accompanied him.
AS they ttood with their backs to the
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

and Mrs. Bowser, looking from a back
window, and the cook and cat, looking
from a back door. could ser nothing
for the next two minutes for the cloud
Of snow in the air. Then the two
tramps detached themselves from the
circus and climbed the yard fense.
and the household went out to look for
Mr.. Bowser. There we're thousands OF
traces OF him at hand, but 1t took
three minutes to discover his actual
presence and dig It out from under the
snow. He had been thumped and
kicked and choked, but life had not
departed. He soon rallied and sat up.
and after being helped to his feet he
made his WOODY way TO the kitchen
and thence up stairs. He did not ask
what had happened, and Mrs. Bowser
gave him q rest Of IS minutes on the
lounge before she said:
with your temperature at the z "a
1t is do you think you can reaefSfha
north pOle?"
He lifted up his head and glared al
her
Il suppose the government ought 70
be notified at once. and II you don't
feel well can do it myself"
Another glare, followed by a grit
ting Of his teeth, and It was ten min
utes before she observed:
I'VE told the cook TO heat som
witch hazel to wash on the blood
you wish for any particular
ature?"
But Mr.. Bowser had growe
north pole and fallen as,
counted seven different
his nose and wonder
on the street on IL