The age-herald., 1900-07-11
IN HOTEL LOBBIEs
 AND ELSEWHERE

l
 ploy may expect to lose it'
 Young women may expect to be courted,
 but should beware of men, more especially
 such men as bear gifts"
 "A child born on this day will be very
 unlucky, whether in employ not.' Astrologer Raphaels prophecies for
 Thursday, July 12, 1900:
 Travel, seek work, ask favors, and
 push thy business"
 Thou will have a successful year, and
 thy business will increase"
 ''The young may court"
 | "A child born on this day will be gen.
 erally successful in all it undertakes, and
 it will rise in life.''
 The movement to reduce the average of | illiteracy in Alabama is causing heart burnings in Walker County. A story comes
 that the school trustees of a certain beat
 in that county are having trouble in get | ting a teacher for another year. One ap-
 plicant was rejected because he was grad
 uated from the State Normal school at 1 Florence; another because he had his hair
 parted in the middle; another because he
 wore red shoes; and still another because
 his pants were too short.
 l AS to the Florence graduate and he who | parts his hair in the middle mere matters
 of personal taste were involved in the con- l sderation of their claims. Many of the
 best teachers are from Florence, and many 1 of the best and most honored men in the l world part their hair in the middle. Many good men have no hair in the middle to I part in any way. But the trustees in the l classic land of Walker have done what was absolutely their plain duty in reject | ing man with red shoes and one who 1 wore pants too short. Red shoes are l unseemly, and pedagogue with such cov- l ering on his pedal extremities would prove | to be pedantic and poor a leader in the pursuit of learning. Any man who wears l pants" too short or too long is unfit to | teach school.
 | Lord of love look down from above 1 Upon us poor little scholars;
 1 We have got fool to teach our school, l And he wears baggy pants, and hollers. | That is about the way the pupils of a l pants wearing teacher would pray. | Gents" wear "pants," and gents" are
 not qualified for teaching school. Good 1 teachers and good men generally wear | trousers. That is to say, good teachers l who may be accorded the honored title of | professor" There are numerous most ex- l cellent teachers who do not wear trousers
 because they Cthe teachers) are not built | that way. What these wear is business
 of school trustees. Fancy teacher teach | ing children to call trousers 'pants." |
 | The public school in one of the obscure | districts of Jefferson County was taught by
 'panted' man, concerning whom 'the | wonder grew, that one small head could | hold all he knew" He lectured his tow l headed charges learnedy, and with much | show of philosophy. That which he sought
 most to impress upon his pupils was to l avoid nasty speech and nasty action; to 1 be deliberate.
 | Now, my children" he would say in
 a ripe watermelon voice; always count a | hundred before making any important
 statement, or giving answer, or taking | any important action-count one hundred | Yes, my dears, count one hundred slowly. | One cold day the teacher stood with 1 his back close to the redhot stove and | his coat-tail was parted and drawn up, | after the manner of teachers for hundred 1 years. The teacher was warming himself,
 and he felt good up to the very waistband | of his trousers He looked through the l windows at the outside gloom, and then 1 looked upon the inside gloom, now and | then resting his gaze upon some particu- I lar pupil. Finally he marked the nervous l twitchng, and then the rapid opening and closing. of one boys lips. Clearly the boy was counting, and the teacher was about
 to rebuke him with the familiar "Johnny?'
 but it too late. From Johnny's lips
 there came perfect torrent of
 Ninety, ninety-one ninety-two ninety | three, ninety-four, ninety-fve, ninety-six, l tyeightninetynineones a.
 dred!-Teacher, your pants is afire!i!'' l An Alabaman, personally known to and
 esteemed by thousands who shall read this
 statement was defeated for one of the most
 honored and lucrative offices within the | public gift, because he wore pants that
 were too short. Constantly the bottom
 edges of his pants played wantonly with l the mouth of his boots, which were such 1 as are commonly called high-cut shoes. 1 Either it was that his trousers were cut 1 too short, had shrunk in washing, or his | galuses were drawn up too high. But l whatever the cause, the good man looked | not unlike a chicken in hurry; and his l appearment was not enticing. Therefore, | and all on account of pants" this man 1 lost the best of profitable public offices. | The great and free people of this great and l glorious country of will not vote | for man who wears pants" that are "too short"
 Former Congressman M. w. Howard was bitten by an infuriated dog in the street in
 Chattanooga on Monday, according to cur | tt.
 verifies the report. It appears that MT. Howard walking along Market street,
 a wide thoroughfare, said to be the prin- cipal business street of that town, when
 dog suddenly attacked and bit him so vic- iously as to produce an ugly wound. MT.
 Towards ill fortune will cause general re- gret in Alabama, and everybody will hope that no serious results will come from the