The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1900-09-27
THE
POLITICAL
SITUATION.
.GROSSERKOPT'
AND
|ScHMlDTKIN
DISCUSS

II think me dot will vote der dem
ocrat ticket dis year vonce again, 4
SAYS Mr.. Schmidtkin with an apollo
getic air. You may say vot yon
don't please about Imbeeralism, but
the republican party don't vas friend
LIZ nit der Beers in South Africa out.
Pres. Mckinley don't like MIR. Kruger
no better as Won cat kitten likes to
fall a lake in. He stood by und let
dot pully John Pull smash Elm repub-
lie in Africa, und give liberty q black
eye so big ais washtub. When our
brothers was fighting dot glorious
war battle for lifes und home, Nc
Kinley was making love und Won Sc
cret alliance NIT Eng land, together.
Aber but der democratic party has
elm strong plank their platform in
in favor nit der Beers, holding out
der helping hand vet, to dose Dutch
patriots, und condemning der republic
can party for not vonce shumping nit
both two feet on der British lion. SO
how could you not expect der Ger
mans to vote for Mckinley this year?
You bet me, will vote for liberty
nnd Bryan dis time already
So you have been reading some
more der democrat PLATFORM" smil-
ingly asks Mr.. Grosserkopt. 1yelb
dot been right. It vas one patriotic
poem, already. Aber 1t makes mine
blood to run cold NIT fear und hor-
ror. When I wants to scare my dog
home when he me follows out, I shust
read dot democratic platform to him.
Mine wife read dot platform once und
it makes her so nervous dot for yon
week she would not let me 60 der
house out. Dot platform would been
all right to catch votes In yon lun attic
asylum, but it vas too coarse for any
mems who knows something. For in
stance, look at der men who made dot
platform some more und it vas wise
to Judge child its father BY. Mr..
Clark, aufs Montana N as Kicked out der
III. S. Senate for bribery because, but
he was insdot convention as big like
Cass Lake mosquito. I suppose he
wanted TO put in q plank TO elect Sem
sators BY direct vote NIT der people.
Then there vas dot Gold-bug Hill al
ready to ask der convention to put in
Elm plank for free-silver. He said he
didn't want it himself out, but he want
ed it to catch Bryan's vote. Then
there vas Tillman, auf South Carolina,
who says his state will keep der me-
groes from voting, already, il If has
too shoot them all NIT bloodshed at
der polls He wanted Elm plank against
Imperialism, oder govern mit0ut der
consent Of der government" Den Mr..
Croker, auf New York, president nit
der meanest trust BY der world in
der Ice Trust--vas there nnd he want
ed plank In der platform against
der trusts He says der republican
party vas der mother OF trusts, but
he said nothing about the democrat
party being der father, und such a
kind father dot in the last congress
when der republicans try to pass Elm
law to regulate trusts, efery demo-
crat, except two, voted against It.
But vot was der uses to talk some
more. I tell yon one hundred times
dot the democrat platform vas made
for elm fence to hide it's old graveyard.
| It vas made to scare such people like
you SO you don Il know your face from
! hole NIT der ground in. You keep
on reading dot platform und your
brains will crawl out up into your
hair. already. excuse me, but ! was
busy diesen morgen. Z
| But Mr.. Schmitkin persists: You
hat not one word said altogether over
the Beers und der republican party
ooh, you make me so tired dot mine
headaches, vonce, ''exclaims Grosser-
kept impatiently. Der democrats
howl out about big armies, war taxes.
und Imperialism, und then get mad
when Mckinley don't make war on
England by standing up matt der
Beers. You know dot plank in der
democrat platform means as much as
Elm picture Of an angel by a saloon
window on. Dot plank vas taffy on
a stick, German veters to catch. Talk
was cheap, aber it looks money to
make der taste of salty your mouth
out when election is over.
Thanks Given.
AT a business meeting OF the Robert
Forbes chapter of the first M. E.
,..l - I,a,,, TAI; tbn f,,l lo,a,iY,er rnc a.