The Saint Paul globe., 1900-04-29
SOUTH AFRICAN FIELDS

rivah. The train starts at O'clock to-
night! and then lie went in search of the
next staff officer. He is a holy terror
to the gilded youth who have come out
here to play at picnics.''
CLASSIFIED SOLDIER.
The eagerness Of Reservists- to fight
their country's battles is illustrated
amusingly In the case of soldier landed
in Southampton from the Kildonan castle,
which brought invalids and Wounded men
from the Cape
He was minus an eye-a glass one
which unhappily had been lost on the field
of battle. When called out the Reserv-
lists glass eye satisfactorily passed the
scrutiny of the depot doctor, but in the
excitement of the fight at Modder river
the dummy eye dropped out on the veldt,
and he was unable there and then to
search for it.
After the fight search was made in the
brown dust of the battleieid-the hu-
morous query went through the ranks:
HAS any one seen a chaps eye lying
about?"-but without success.
AT muster medical officer spotted the
ene-eyed soldier. and promptly sent him
to the rear where, in due course, he was
officially .'invalided'' home
He has since got another eye, but feels
he has been harshly treated by the chanc-
es Of war.
WEIRD INVENTOR.
An inventor recently went to the Eng
hsh war Office with an explosive that he
said would destroy any army against
which it was directed. cit is The most
powerful explosive the world ever saw"
said the visitor, t'and l propose to send
up a balloon over an army that would
attack ours, setting the fuse so that it
might go off the moment the balloon
fioated over the army of the enemy
THAT is all very good. indeed" said
an official, interrupting. "'but supposing
a current of air should carry your ex-
plosive balloon over our army-what
then?''
''Well.'' said the inventor. laying his
hand en- the officials arm, 'I rell you
what it is, my friend. Our army would
have to get up and run for all they y ere
worth.
THIRST IN BATTLE.
The most thirsty work in the world is
fighting. The excitement and the smoke
laden air. to say nothing of the 5roiling
sun, absolutely dry UP every particle Of
moisture In mans body, the tongue lolls
out like dogs and becomes black and
swollen. The old hand places a white
pebble stone in his mouth and sucks it
TO deI6aL thirst. ColHefS are well &C.
quainted with the virtues of this device,
and many lives have been saved in
blockei-up mines by sucking a bit of
coal.
A supply of water Is the first care of
commander. Alcoholic beverages of all
sorts are now banned by generals. though
once or twice a week rations of rum are
served out to the troops. 1t is indisputa-
bic that total abstinence increases both
the moral and physical tone Of an army,
though occasionally drains are found TO
act beneficially as q tonic. In the Onl-
durman campaign some Greek traders
followed up Kitchener's force with large
stores of gin. The sirdar promptly seiz-
ed them and had the liquor ruthlessly
poured out on the desert soil. Cold tea,
favored with few drops CT lemon Juice,
Is now the standard drink Of fighting
men. 1t Is harmless efficient, and slight
ly tonic. Lord Wolseley adopted 1t IN
the Egyptian campaign. and It's uso Is
now official. He was taking a leaf out
of Lord Roberts book. He hal dIseov-
cred its virtues in Indian warfare. e
is very hard on drink. says Tommy,
and one of his nicxnames is chaplain
Bobs'' on this account. in the German
and American armies coffee In used in
stead.