New-York tribune., 1900-07-30
ANTI-COW ASSOCIATION.
NEw-LOTS CITIZENS ORGANIZE TO RID
THEMSELVES OF ROWING MIXERS.

There is an Anti-Cow Association in the ancient
but honorable village Of New-Lots, now a portion
OF the Twenty sixth Ward of the Borough of Brook
yn. It is not social organization. nor is II going
to boom any favorte son for political preferment
But it going to do things, and heap of them, II
the views of its members count for anything. The
inhabitants of New-Lots have been farmers for
many years and they have no objections to cows
as a general species of domestic animal. They
enjoy and grow fat milk and good roast beef and
steaks and will continue to do so. These New-Lots
people not vegetarians nor are they looking
for the extinction of the bovine race. But they
want IT distinctly understood that they have organ
lied for the suppression and annhilation OF all cows
owned by their neghbors in the settlement of
Brownsville.
After continued annoyance and long suffering
these residents of~New-Lots have been driven to
desperation. Their usual calm and peaceful dis
position has been turned into OF bitterness and
hate. Many schemes have been tried to rid the
settlement of New-Lots of the all devastating
horde Brownsville cows, but they still continue
their career of destruction. Dynamite bombs or
shoteuns would be about the proper remedy but
the New-Lotsites are has been said, naturally
peaceful people. So they have complained to the
Board of Health and requested that the COW
stables In Brownsville be suppressed. Again and
again did the New-Lo.ste visit the Health Depart
ment with woe in his voice and tears in his eyes
Promises made by the officials. but the
Brownsville cow grew bolder and more defiant
every day.
A
Lots The people reasoned that where indiyiduaal
effort had failed united protests would succeed
Thus the New-Iots Anti-Cow Association was
born. Its motto is Death TO brownsville COWS.
Rufus l.. Perry duly engaged as counsel aC-
cording to custom in all properly conducted or
Plantations. The counsel called upon for a
legal opinion. He Immediately bethought hlInseIl
of that potent legal aid, the mandamuS;; AT q re-
cent meeting of his clients Mr.. Perry duly rendered
his opinion, much to the delight OF the cOWrluuen
New-Lotsites who took up the idea with an en-
thusiasm which threatened TO carry the meeIlhs
Mr. Perry was finally Instructed to apply to the
Supreme Court on behalf of the New-Lots Anti
Cow Association for a writ or mandamus Whlcn
should compel the Board of Health to exterminate
six cow stables in the settlement of Brownsville.
In these stables are one hundred lean and hungry
a cunning far beyond the average OF their species
Mrs Louisa Steblin, of Louisana-ave.. an eXten-
sive property owner in New-Lots. has agreed to
act the complainant in the action - =,
1t is alleged that the COWS are being Kept IN
buildings that were erected under permits issued
for dwelling houses, and that all sanitary rules are
being violated by their owners. On these auega.
tions it is hoped to secure action by the Boarq OF
Health. If these proceedings fail the NeW-Lots
resident will be in despair His woes are more
personal than violation of the building laws or
said trained their cows to Craze in the territory or
New-Iots and the animals upon being turned out
swarm into the pleasant fields and well kept gar
denS of New Lots iron filings rush 10 magnet
These Hebrews begin their milking operations
about midnight" said indignant member OF the
Anti-Cow Association yesterday. This is when we
turned loose about or o'clock. Away they dash
for Nev-Lots and they make more noise than a
regiment OF cavalry they tear through flower
beds and scamper over pumpkin patches. NY
sleep is for year.
My children are afraid to go in the streets on
account Of the pesky critters, said another Iney
cannot go TO church and they won't go TO the