Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1900-12-15
A SIGNAL FOR TRUMPS.
BY Justin Mccarthy.

Il presume you know that you are an
| egregious ass, though even a knowledge
J Of that fact would give you more sense
! than / ever gave you credit for"
| assured my dear uncle that he had
| presumed rather too much, as / certainly
was not aware that | was an ass though
! | was willing to admit that he had made
| a monkey of me; that my wife had been
a goose, and if he chose to turn our little
| home into a zoo he would make very
| respectable bear, and only Miss Cadmus
need be classified under the genus hOr-
ribilis to complete the correct metamor-
| phosis.
You young ape"
''Now, my dear uncle, you must sec
that your theory of evolution is entirely
Bah! bah! sir" My dear uncle
gasped for breath and L was about to
ask him if he had finally chosen a sheep
for his part when he slammed the door
and was gone.
There goes that $1,000 for Christmas
and perhaps an inheritance" | said,
turning TO comfort the dearest little
woman this world ever saw. OF course,
every husband believes he has the dear
est little woman in the world, but l had
been all over the OLD rolling ball and L
knew what | was talking about. There
she sat, pretty as q picture, the tears
streaming from her eyes that spoke
without words. | wanted to comfort her
and so | said:
Never mind, dear, we must play that
beastly game again. AS for that Miss
Goldfish, she has got to leave this house
at once, the"
George, / am ashamed of yOu," she
said, pushing me away from her. TO
think that you of all men would take
defeat like that"
Now. this was a little too much. To
| be berated by my uncle, sneered at by
that lofty old woman and then sat down
upon by my wife after being beaten by
sheer luck in whist was pushing things
little too much. 1t was my wife's
fault that she had gone into the, game
about which she knew nothing and
We'll, you don't understand" l start
ed to say, as calmly as possible.
That's what you tried to drum into
me before your uncle, and l am sure"
Now, my dear, you know don't
mean you don't understand whist,
We'll, if you don't mean that George,
YOU have Il great way of expressing your
| self"
As for that" l finally snapped out,
you don't"
Il am sure never trump a queen
when it's the highest card out she re-
torted, with a spirit that surprised me.
But if you cannot take defeat any ber-
ter than you can a trick you would do
| better not to play
Agony in capital letters! Here was
that dear, innocent, sweet, tender little
wife of mine, her eyes flashing indigna-
ton and her dainty head tossed back,
woman who had just been taught the
game, giving me instructions. | slept on
the lounge that night, while she turned
into the bed. 1t was perhaps half-hour
before she gave in and whispered;
George
Yes, dear"
You are n brute"
Classify it, my dear Your uncle says
I'm an ass, Miss Cadmus intimates I'm
lobster. Now, please don't display an
ignorance Of natural history"
George" 1t was one of her most Ell
ticing of whispers.
Yes, dear" | felt l was giving in.
II will cry in minute"
That settled it. She had her arm.
| around my neck as she whispered:
viii you promise me to play whist the
next time they ask us?"
III be happy to do it, dearest"
That was not at all what | had meant
to say, but when a wife like mine has
her arms around you and a dear little
mouth Is Just beginning to quiyer-well-
! | promised.
You see it had all started over most
| unfortunate game of cards. Uncle Ned
| always had a most inordinate love TO,
! games and ran the whole list from old
/ maid to whist, though ne never suggest.
! ed the former unless it was to insult on
| of Acca's friends, who he feared might
| be after his money This very love foI
cards. however. had been blessing for
| us when the old codger came to live with
| us after we were married. He "hOarded''
! with us as pirate boards n shin. He
| simply took possession of the whole place
/ and lived on promises of Christmas pres
! entS and an inheritance that became ~
| special instrument of torture in his
| hands. He was abomiuahly rich, SO rich.
! indeed, that he could dress as meauly ms
! he pleased ana abuse everyone with a
! freedom he never failed to take aly9u-
/ tage Of. He had a pet hobby of getting
/ insured every other day. Just to assure
me the insurance doctors thought him y
good risk and believed he would live far.
! ever. lie knew, too. that | was imDarti-
/ nent and talked back to him lust hpt9r,s..
/ he knew that | knew that he knew fbof 7
! expected his money and didn't want him
| 10 know | wanted il.
/ However, We kept him reasonable
| pleasant III the evenings by prrmittinr
! nm To WIN at casino or cribhage. until
| Miss Cadmus came. Uncle N,,l said Sha
| was distant cousin and should live Win
us. am sure She never came from our
side of the family. However, her COMING
! was something of Il relief, for now Wa
| could play games in earnest and let Miss
| CadmuS take Uncle Neds cheerful oLmSn
when he lost with her Things went nm
| we'll enough, though even little Arca's
| disposition threatened To be ruinad ~,
the remarks made 10y Miss Cadmus abont
| crisis came 'A'
One evening came home early and