The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-01-28
PRESS AGENTS ROUND TABLE.


mind of some victim of the telegraph
wire?
They who feel tempted to supply infor-
nation on the subject may relish the
foundation of a preliminary explanation
concerning the manner in which the yau-
deyille impresario arrived at this conclu-
sion. To begin with, then, let 1t be re-
marked that the coming bill at the Grand
includes comedian whose name, appro-
priately enough. Is George w. Day. The
arrangement into which the local director
entered with Mr.. Day provided that the
entertainer should receive a stipulated
sum next Saturday evening, in considera-
ton of which he was to contribute his
services several frames of photographs.
and a variety of printing. The printing in
question was divided into two classes
.'twenty-four- sheet stands ana three
sheets" For the benefit of the unlnitiat-
ed is appended another mental wedge.
The paper with which billboards are COW
cred is measured according TO the number
of pieces which each advertisement con-
tains A three sheet is Slightly less
than a yard wide and slightly more than
Two yards high.
On Wednesday last when the minons
of Manager Chase began their FASTING. the
promised street-stationery had not arrived,
and all concerned were in high dudgeon
Work could not be commenced until the
stuff came. The vaudeville impressario
aforesaid wrote two letters regarding the
matter and then decided TO telegraph. A
message, conveying the information that
at least one style of printing was wanted
instanter, was put on the wires and Man
ager Chase waited. He was much cheered
when, an hour later. a boy handed him
what evidently was a reply. He opened
the envelope and found the enclosed slip.
On 1t was written: What in creation 90
sou mean" Whereupon and quite natu-
rally the Observation-Disclosures was angry.
He was about to send an indignant answer
when it occurred to him that he might do
well by first reading his own lines. Con-
sequently. he went to the nearest Office
and ordered repeat When the copy
Was handed him, his astonishment knew
no bounds. The communication. sent to
prominent firm of photographers. was as
follows:
Sc Company. Cincinnati, Ohio;
Am in desperate need of Days three shirts.
Send Immediately. p. b. CHASE.
Things were satisfactorily patched UP and
the mistake ended in hearty laugh. Still,
Manager Chase believes that, the word
string" should be wire"
Rather humorous incident occurred not
long ago. while Joseph Herbert now of the
Alice Nielsen organization, was touring
the South with mon important company.
The narrow comedian had arrived late at
a small town in Georgia. and being very
tired selected the first hotel in sight as
his stopping place for the night. The build
ing looked clean and neat. though not pre-
ientious, and the clerk who greeted him
from behind plain deal table inside did
not appear to be gifted with any great
amount of intellect. Indeed. SO ignorant
did the boy seem that Mr.. Herbert almost
forgot his WEAKNESS as he sauntered up
10 the desk and queried il that was
where he was supposed to autograph
Autograph asked the young fellow,
blankly.
Yes replied the good natured enter
tainer "autograph-sign my name, you
know Given this explanation. the clerk
brought out his blanks and the formalities
we're accomplished. Then Mr.. Herbert
seated himself in a comfortably inviting
chair nearby, lighted a cigar and was Just
about to doze when he was interrupted by
the entrance of three typical mountaineers
These fellows approached the table, as
their predecessor had done, and asked for
a room. They were handed a key, and
then the youngster who had waited On Mr..
Herbert put his fingers into his pocket
leaned gracefully over his desk winked
languidly at his first customer. and, with
the air of a parrot reciting a new speech,
remarked viii you gents autograph"
There was moments silence, while the
members OF the trio looked at each other.
and then smiles OF a most superhuman in
teliigence fitted across the faces of all
three Sure" replied the tallest. Mine
rye and the other fellers want corn whisky.
what's yours, stranger"
Mr.. Herbert says that the clerks good
humor faded as might cheap silk, but that
he treated like a man, and that his per-
sonal share of the joke was not half bad.
And adds the librettist-comedian,
that's what comes OF speaking foreign
language in ones own country
It was while Maclyn Arbuckle was here
last with Why Smith Left Home that
actor and reporter stood together in the
lobby OF the Arlington. Mr.. Arbucble
watched the goers and corners describe a
semi-circle inside the patent storm door
and was reminded OF a story.
Did you ever think he said. that
when metropolite stumbles across some
thing new for the first time. he is deal
more nonplussed than might be the aver
age countryman? The fact is that the fell
low from town is keenly conscious of his
Own sharpness. and. therefore. such an
accident is a complete surprise TO him. !
never shall forget the day on which | ran
INTO one Of those turnstiie affairs for my
primal experience. was calling on a
friend at the Imperial, and, when 1
reached the entrance. was confronted by
an arrangement similar to that before us.
The thing looked simple. and | stepped
inside II. ! had Just put my hand on the
bar TO give the partition In front push.
when another 'yap. going in an opposite
direction, preceded my move. and backed
around and around. until new arrival
stopped me. Then 1 recovered lest ground
and added three laps TO my score
When, finally, that diabolical machine
came to halt. the street was ahead and
lost not a second in reaching IT, / sur
veyed the door carefully. finished a men,
tai plan OF campaign. and returned. This
time no one interfered with my showing
But all the outside panels were Of glass.
and, TO save me. l couldn't tell when /
reached the exit. I had begun going a
few feet, and then feeling for a free way
when third stranger took me on q reg
ular flying horses trip and ] missed my
place. The count had TO be recommended
With every endeavor ] could not find the
opening OF my prison. ! figured that some
chap would get directly opposite me in
leaving the building. and that so l should
be landed in just the proper spot
Imagine my relief therefore. when |
saw my friend pass down the lobby and |
select the compartment across from me. l
Instantly, / began turning, and at last
landed him on the sidewalk. Then. for |
the first time. II occurred TO me that. in |
helping him out. | had taken away my one |
reason for wishing 10 be in. The ac- !
quaintance probably had grown weary of |
waiting ior me and had gone. Thus I had |
lost him. The game was up. I turned 1
20 leave. ] paused until a man stepped |
Ia IL