The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-09-13
OR DlS!''P' ser S +
MAKES Disc 0VE.R''Y'|'I
Nov Has the Destiny Of Lawyers.
Under His Thumb.
FIGHT With BRICK AMI. PIT G Ter
.Neishbors Who Get Water from the
Same Well Fall Out and Bring the
Matter 10 <Crntcltielu-Ne.
Cut Each other Up.

The Great Dispenser was in high good
humor esleruay. lie maze discovery
that t,ckled him as much as d boys first
pair OF boots. The electric fans in the
police court are on separate circuits and
The SWITCHBOARD is just behind the Great
Law Overs chair. BY a turn of the
thumb he can start or stop the two fans
that send COO bteezes down the spinal
-umn OF the lawyers at the bar.
Nnen he naue Tue discovery d ola bollcal
sm.le 1T MS lace Ike Tue reu-nre elIect 5 M
a wltcn 5 scene on tne stage ana ne tired
zlnc Experiment. seVelal tunes.
NOW wnen the lawyers arG4too long
wlnued sleau OF cd1hl.g them 0oWn ny
woru OF mouth the I'll eat Law e1lV '. WI
Simply reach Den4nd nim ana cut Or tne4r
winu. On, 1T a 81 eat Sscneine.
MAN OF. LElS URE.
Justice 1onn wa4Aeu into court
as lelsureiy as u pank president,
ana nlonr1Ilarliy SJanolliS IN tae door
way overlooking the CROWD, he presented a
picture OF d sturdy man OF the people, as
stocky as a jackscreW and as lnexor-
aDle as fate.
J. r. Porter a colored huckster, was the
the second Market. He was charged with
obstructing the sidewalk with boxes In
front or ms stall. Clerk j. f. fIournoy de-
cared that five times he ordered h!al to
clear the place, and each time they were
there.
Porter declared he didn't feel guilty, but
the Great Dispenser, not having feacneu
the advanced stage OF aes.heiic justice
where decisions are based on the finer
I,,o5 thp roi0rfI n1lckSter s. N
and he paid it with SO many demurrers
that the Great Dispenser came near rails
ing it to five.
The decree has gone out that the city
and not the hucksters, own the market =
NOT AN. ANGEL. HERSELF.
Leila Coles, Belle Taylor and Rebecca
Coleman We're charged with beating Eliza
Stanard. Inasmuctl as Rebecca Colcman's
head was all tied up where she had been
battered with a brick. Leila Coles cut in
the face and a hole knocked in her head
with {. pitcher, the pieces of which she
had tied up in a handkerchief, and that
Belle Taylor looked as if she had tried
conclusions with a barbed-Wire fence,
there arose a suspicion that the stylishly-
dressed Eliza was not altogether passive
during the ARRAY.
They We're fined $3.50 each, and the Ser
geant raised it to $3.50 with his little. trim
mings.
NEIGHBORS FALL OUT.
The next case came up from High Street.
over near to Pine. There is Well on
Mrs. Mary Ai!lers lot, which is owned by
the same landlord as the house occupied
by Mrs. Jennie Napier, and both families
used the same we'll
The warrant gotten out by Mrs. Napier
is the best introduction to the case. Mary
! Miller was charged with disturbing and
abusing Jennie Napier.
The evidence was somewhat confused,
as both ladies were conversing with speed
! to the Great Dispenser at the same time
1t appeared that Mrs. Napier sent word
| to Mrs. Miller that the well was not fit
! to drink out Of, and declared to the Great
Dispenser that it was scandalous to smell.
CANNIBALISM.
! Then when Mrs. Napiers children went
| to the well Mrs. Miller, according TO Mrs.
| Napier looked as il she would eat 'em
alive, and recollec1ions of Bosco the
| Wonder floated through the Great Dis
| pensers brain. but he seemed satisfied
| when Mrs. Miller declared she never ate
| any body in her life. When Mrs. Miller
| stopped for breath Mrs. Napier declared
| that Mrs. Miller called her white SOW,
| and declared she had drunken fits, and
! that she was petliiied at such abuse. The
| Great Dispenser remarked that she had
| apparently recovered from that condition
| Here Mrs. Miller got III a word edgeways,
and charged the opening wide enough to
| testify that Mrs. Napier said she would
BRING the whole ue.ghborhood before
| Crutchfield to prove that she (A1ary NHl7
| .er) want nut;,in','' ard Mrs. Miller. said
she wanted her TO prove it. She also
| declared that Mrs. Napier said there was
| an eggplant in her well.
Mrs. Napier. denied having abused Mrs.
| Miller, and Miss Lulu Walsh. a pretty
maiden, who was summoned. declared she
| knew nothing about it; but Mrs. Napier
| said Miss Walsh knew all about it, but
| considered Il dt grace to come to c. utch-
| fields court. and She wouldn't testify.
| The girl biushed and the Great Dis
| penser let it pass.
CHEWING THE RAG
The Great Lawgver surveyed the ex-
| c:ted women and asked in hesrefiective
| mood, what am I to do with you ladies?
answered the query by dec.ar-
ing that "if something amt done they VII
| be chewing the rag again and that he
! wanted i. settled right on the spot.
I UNGALLANT SPEECH.
( The Great LaWgiver made the only un-
| gallant speech n the history of. his court
! count of women than in any other way on
! earth This was N sympathy for Mr.
| Napier whom even Mrs. Miller said was
| good man.
Mrs. Miller continued to fire stray shots
| and declared Mrs. Napier challenged her
| in the street to fight a duel
/ George Warren. a boy was then put on
I! the stand and supported Mrs. &Naper's
statement that she did not call Mrs
/ Miller names.
Mrs. Miller was fined $3.50 and costs