The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Deacon EVerett'S Fall
nTF GOOD old Deacon Everett could

for the national game" said the eX-
member of the Moral Reform club,
sadly, 1--WE would have compelled the
violators of the law to cease from desc
Grating the Sabbath, and our town
might still retain the championship
Of the country.
SBut, after being the prime mover
for holiness and discomfort on the
first day of the week, the deacon let
himself be led astray by his desire
to see Bill Medford make a home run.
And now the deacon has both scandal
lied the religious element and lost pop
ularity with the baseball fans.
about two weeks ago the deacon
came to me with the air of a man
who is about to inaugurate moral
movement that will make sinners
think they have bumped up against
a spiritual cyclone.
"T'm told said the deacon, in his
solemn, earnest way, that men in
whom all sense of moral obligation is
dead are banding together to lacer-
ate the ears and holiest feelings of the
truly good
1.-The Boxers certainly are making
It warm for the missionaries I re-
piled, sort of puzzled, for I thought
he was talking of the Chinese out
RACES. but I hadn't heard they were
slicing off ears yet
q" It's not those poor, benighted
heathens on the other side of the
globe that I'm referring to- said the
good mah, sort of impatiently. It's
that gang of highbinders that they
call the Williamson baseball team.
They're coming over here Sunday with
their own umpire and ringer pitcher
to break the holy calm of the Sab
bath and try to take the championship
from our town. But when they strike
the religious sentiment of this burg
they viii find they are against the
real thing. The unsanctified exhihi-
tion won't be allowed to last more
than one inning. Unless our boys
happen to have them on the rum he
added in a meditative sort of man
ner.
There's going to be more bumps
than glory for the man who tries to
stop that game warned the deacon.
You're good man and a pious one.
There amt man in town who would
look better in a martyrs crown. But
there's no use of hurrying it up
"BUt the deacon was obstinate and
insisted that it was his duty to stir
up the authorities and have all VIOLA
tors of the law arrested. The sheriff
wasn't any too pleased at the job the
deacon had marked out for him
"'I'm here to uphold the majesty of
the law said the sheriff And I'll do
it if I have to hire a derrick. To pre-
serve the sanctity of Sunday I'd be
willing to fill the Jail with nonvoting
criminals. But there's a time and
place for everything, and this Office
is having troubles of it's own trying
to capture criminals who have failed
to pay their fines. I don't believe I
can attend to the question at present.
Call around in a few days, say in No
vember or December
'The deacon, seeing that he wasn't
going to get much assistance from
the sheriff. determined to act himself.
So he called in the minister and the
Sunday school superintendent and ex-
planned to them his plans.
"'WeIl go to the game Sunday said
the deacon, representing in our per-
sons the majesty of the law, the sane
tity of the Sabbath and the Moral Re-
form club. You can distribute the
first two to suit yourselves, but want
it understood that if this infamous
desecration is stopped it is through
my efforts, and the presidency of the
club is coming to me at the next
election
''The minister and the Sunday school
superintendent agreed to this, so the
deacon went on with the details of his
scheme.
Even the noble men who conduct
reforms should sometimes display COM
mon sense continued the deacon.
Now, I understand the sinful game of
Sunday baseball better than either of
you do, so / will take the leadership.
We can't very well stop anything until
1t has begun, so we might as well let
give the signal, you can both step for
ward and order the unholy exhibition
to cease. The crowd will have a rev.
erence for your character and offices
which they might, through some ever
sight, fail to display towardlthe humble
man who is at the back of this move
ment for good
cit seemed 10 both the minister and
the Sunday school superintendent that
they were going to be put in position
where more bumps than tokens of es-
TEEN would be coming to them. But
they were in sympathy with the move
ment, and the deacon had been the one
who had started it. So they agreed to
do as he directed. t
Sunday afternoon the deacon,s the
minister and thesSunday school super
intendent all bought ticl1ets to the
baseball game and took their seats in
the grand stand. In his younger days
the GOOD old deacon had been a Dretty