The daily sentinel., 1900-04-13
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{ ,l:JES-;SNN 1900 J

Tell a story-which Is true
That the man who sorts the weather
Does just as we wish him TO.
A cowboy down below Fruita died OF
bronco pneumonia the other day.
The busy, modern. upto-date poet has
no time to chase around after inspira-
tions.
From the weather conditions we take
it that our weather man is not for
dewey"
Birdville has recently organized a
political Owl club" the object of which
is to screech for Dewey
Referring to the much talked of long
livity, one good way to live to be 100
years old is not to be an English soldier :.
The ladies up at Snipes have organ
lied Trust in God and met last Sun
day for the first time in the hook and
ladder house.
A Washington dispatch states that a
Denver man has secured a patent on a
new hose connection. but fails to state
which sex it is for.
We notice some new potatoes about
the size of marbles in town this week =
toes for Rifle bullets.
Mckinley is "dove- tailed" to the trust
octapus.-Kopjville Excuse. Yes, and
the wishes of the ID public have
been "pigeon-holed.
A Chicago man "trekked" on the
same day he was to have been married.
1t is cowardly "trekk" for man to
jump his matrimonial bond.
A man down near Austin, Texas, went
crazy the other day and the doctors are
puzzled as to the cause. He was proba-
bly, affected by the sight OF so much
water.
Several people up at DeBeque are still
undecided about attending the Paris
show. They are no doubt waiting for
final decision from the Prince of Wales
as to whether or not he will attend.
A Grand Rapids man killed himself
because his wife refused to believe him
when he said he had not been drinking
beer. Such tragedies make man rea-
lize the necessity of always taking few
cloves.
Mrs. Craven the alleged widow Of Sen
ator Fair, says she fears Mr.. Knight"
the attorney for the estate. Nettie is no
doubt Craven for the "day" to come
when she can secure hunk OF that $780,
100000 nest egg.
The So prize offered by Shortcake last
week for the best answer to the puzzle
"Why are the Beers like the railroads
ceptering at Grand Junction." was won
oy the biscuit-headed editor of the Bum
guzzle Gazoot Viz. because they are
taking up all the passes.
A New York dentist claims that false
teeth can be purchased as cheap as 80
cents set in the near future. Substi-
tute teeth at that notorious price would
probably make the victim look like they
said Senator Bever .dge looked after
Senator Hoars famous speech.
In spite of the scriptural injunction
about houses being divided against
the mse!ves. ETC., Representative Caffery
OF Louisiana ls gold STANDARD. anti-ex
pansion-free- trader, while McEnery OF
the same state is free-silver- expansion
protectienist.
"Henry Dorst Of Venice, Illinois, re-
Gently killed himself by drinking quart
of whisky without removing his lips
from the bottle except to catch his
breath between gulps. Exchange.
Showing conclu lively the danger in the
improper habit some people have of at
tempting to catch their ca tn between
gulps.
An exchange thinks it silly that the
fact that a hired girl stayed with
Brooklyn family for fifty consecutive
years should be Associated Pressed all
over the country.-Denver Postseripts.
Perhaps the policeman in her block in
stigated an associated press" in the
kite hen and she found she had no cause
for leaving.