davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29
THE REAL STORY.
How Mr.. shRke4peare's Poetic Ii.
cenHe czt O. Twist i'm
julius Caesar.

Col. Julius Caesar, Mai Brutus and Capt.
Marc Anthony were sitting in Sextus Booz-
ems cafe one evening, discussing affairs OF
the Sixth ward, when portly individual
dropped sesterce into the slot machine
and strained the outfit to find his weight,
relates the Baltimore American. After ne
bad gone Col. Caesar remarked:
Il Ike these fat guys. They can't get
around fast enough to do any assassinating /"
SO do like them, said Brutus. "a fat
man Is good fellow to 60 swimming with"
Well, said Marc, I'm interested in a
toga factory down here on the Appian Way,
and, Of course, we would rather sell togas
to the fat men than to the skinny ones"
Il like EN-" interrupted Sextus Boozem,
who was wiping off the table with the skirt
OF his toga. Il ike 'em, because they hold
more than the other kind"
OF course, when Shakespeare dramatized
the story he took liberties with it, Just as
dramatists do to this day.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29
world to End This Year.

prominent societies of the world, but the ex-
act day has not yet been fixed upon, and
while there are very few people who believe
this prediction, there are thousands of 9th
ers who not only believe, but know that Hos
letters Stomach Bitters is the best medicine
to cure dyspepsia, indigestion, constipation,
fair trial will certainly convince you of its
valua
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29
The Cornfed PHILOSOPHER.

woman" said the Cornfed Philosopher,
will never succeed in her demand for the
same pay as man for doing the same work
The only way to get the same pay for the
same work is to howl for more pay for less
work. "-Indianapolis Press.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

Shake into your shoes, Aliens Foot-E Ease,
powder for the feet. 1t makes tight or New
Shoes Feel Easy. Cures Corns, Itching,
Swollen, Hot, Callous, Smarting, Sore and
Sweating Feet. All Druggists and Shoe
Stores sell it, 25c. Sample sent FREE. Ad-
dress. Allen S. Olmsted. LIE Roy, N. Y.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29
The Right Spirit.

'fWhat did Col. Stillwell say about the
branded cherries sent to cheer his con-
valescence?"
"He said he was afraid he wasn't strong
enough to eat the fruit" replied the little
girl, but that he appreciated the spirit in
which it was sent. st. Louis Republic.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29
A Purist.

"Meet me-" he wrote, con the korner
at this evening, without fale!"
And she replied:
"There is no such word as tfale.'
She was purist.-N. Y, World.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29
Meaning Dudea.

Evangeline-Have you become acquainted
with many of the young men in our social
circle?
Angelina-Oh. yes; know ching" or
Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

Try Yucatan Chill Tonic OmprOved).
A reliable Tonic; each dose has the same
proportion of medicine. Pleasant to take.
price 50 cepts
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29
Maudie Again.
-
Mand MILLER rakinr hay

Maud Muller, raking hay one day,
Was caught in rainstorm, so they say;
The rain came down in perfect flood;
Said Maud: II guess my name is Mud!
philadelphia Record.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

Mrs. A G. Russell, Nashville, Tenn,
wrote: DR.. Mofett's Teethina (Teething
Powders) is the greatest blessing to teeth
ing children that the world has ever known.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

When a rich man marries poor girl, she
likes to give the impression that, though
only a wild flower gathered under a way
side hedge, she puts to disadvantage all
the dollhouse plants that now surround
her.-Atchison Globe.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29
The Grand Trunk Railway system

Will serve you well to the choicest resorts
of Canada, and the East.
For fares, descriptive literature, and gen.
eral information apply to j. HI. Burgis, City
Passenger and Ticket Agent, 249 Clark ST.,
corner jackson Boulevard, Chicago.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

Uncle Sam uses the best of everything.
Uncle Sam uses Carriers Ink. He knows.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

What an artistic pipe you have" said
Miss Hicks to Barber. "Artistic?" returned
Barber. Not bit of it. You can't make
it draw."-Harlem Life.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

The man who is too proud to beg isn't al
ways too proud to hint or proud enough to
refuse what may be offered.-Somerville
Journal
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago.-Mrs. Thos.
Robbins, Maple Street, Norwich, N. Y,
Feb II, 1900.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

Shelf it wasn't for the old bachelors
there would be no firts." He-"If it wasn't
for the lrts there would be no old bache-
lors. "-Sydney Town and Country Journal.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

The Best Prescription for ChillH
and Fever is bottle of GROVES TAsTELEss
CHILL Tonic. tits simply iron and quinine In
ataSteleSS form. No cure-no pay. Price, SOC.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

Some men are lions in society and bears at
home.-Chicago Daily News
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

If you want good digestion to wait upon
your appetite" you should always chew a
bar of Adams Pepsin Tutti Fruit
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

A favorite good wish in Ireland used to
be, MAY you live to eat the hen that
scratches over your grave"
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

The man who hesitates is lost, but the
woman who hesitates is won. = Sydney
Town and Country journal.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

Remember that other peoples business
isn't any Of yours.-Chicago Daily Democrat.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

'Their married life seems to be perfectly
happy" Eyes. He told her his mothar
never made anything fit to eat. "-Indianav-
oils Journal.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

PUTNAM FADELEss DYES produce the fast
est and brightest colors of any known dye
stun. Sold by all druggists.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

Cures chills, fevers and malaria. Pleasant
to take. Cure guaranteed. Price, so cents.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

Halls Catarrh Cure
Is Constitutional Cure. Price, 75c.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

Fishing is matter of bait and wait.-Chi-
cago Democrat.
The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1900-06-29

To Cure a Cold In One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money if it fails to cure. 25c.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-16
HAS A RIGHT TO QUIT.
Jury in Philadelphia Decides 4
Woman Can Break on an
ENLARGEMENT.

Before Judge Willbank, in common
pleas court No. 2 at Philadelphia, the
jury in the case of Harris Shafer, who
sought to take $1,000 from Fannie Ca
hon, because she refused to keep her
promise to marry him, returned ver-
dict in favor of the fair defendant,
who is % years of age, while her jilt-
ed lover is 80.
The couple bad only known each
other q few weeks when the engage
lnent was entered into, and everything
went smoothly until within week OF
The wedding day, when Fannie de-
clared she, smelled whisky on her
lovers breath, which confirmed a re-
port which reached her ears that he
was drinking man. She thereupo IN
broke eff the engagement.
This was the excuse she gave in
court, although the plaintiff did not
look like man accustomed to the use
of liquor, and he challenged his for
mer sweetheart to produce a single
witness who had ever seen him drunk,
and she was unable to do so.
The jury, by its verdict, decided that
the defendant had merely exercised
what is generally conceded to be .
woman's prerogativo. ~,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-16
Gods Aid In War.

TO many men of thoughtful and re-
ligious disposition and especially to
those who are naturally apt to trouble
themselves with the misgivings of an
anxious conscience, this war has been
a source of peculiar perplexity. They
believe that our cause is a just one, and
they sincerely hold that they have a
right to ask Gods aid for our soldiers,
and yet they cannot exclude the
thought that the Beers are as sincere
as they are in their appeals for divine
help and in their belief that God will
defend the right. But they argue:
How can this be? God cannot be on
both sides, and God cannot be on any
but the right side. Are we to think,
then, that the war is an ordeal by battle,
and that the question of right will be
decided by the victory or defeat of our
armies? Surely that is impossible, for
history during whole centuries is a
record of might triumphing over right
London Spectator.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-16
THE MAN IN THE TOWER.

Beside the track there's a narrow tower
Where Scme one watches away,
And thousand lives he guards each hour
For two or three dollars day;
The man who tolls and the millionaire.
And the lisping child he has IN his care.
And the crowded trains rush to and fro
And the people come and the people go
With never q thought of him watching
there!
Beside the track in his narrow tower
He guards when the skies are blue,
And he peers away through the binding
shower
Still keeping the signals true,
And the man who has more than his right
full share
And the man who has dreams of joy some-
where.
And the man who laughs and the man
who signs
And the maid with the lovelight in her
eyes
The Lord resigns to his tender care.
Beside the track in his narrow tower.
Unknown. unsung Is he
Who holds in his hands q greater power
Than an admiral of the sea!
And the man who is bent by weight Of
care
And the man who has sighted goal some
where,
And the men who rule in temples of
trade,
And the mother at home. and the biissful
Do they think Of him when they kneel in
prayer?
s. E. Kiser. in Chicago Times-Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-16
Most ResDectful.

Among the stories told of Charles
Lever, the witty novelist, is one which
concerns the days when he was British
consul at Trieste. He had accompanied
his daughter to London for little so.
'cial enjoyment, and had neglected to
90 through the Formally of asking
for leave of absence. On his arriva
in London he was invited to dinner by
Lord Lytton, who was delighted to see
him. When he arrived at Lord Lyt-
toms house, his host said: I'm so glad
you could come! You will meet your
chief, Clarendon"-the minister of for
eign affairs. The novelist, much en-
barrassed, began to give reasons why
he must tear himself away, but before
he could make his escape, Lord Claren-
don was announced, and almost at once
espied him. 'Ah, Mr.. Lever" he said,
blandly, II didn't know you were in
England; in fact was not even aware
that you had asked for leave from
Trieste" moo, my lord" stammered
the novelist, disconnected for a second
but no more than that: mo, my lord !:
[ thought it would be more respectful
to your lordship for me to come and
ask for it in person!' -Youth's Com
panion.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-16

Mr.. Jobson got barrel stave out of the
woodshed and belabored the unfeeling
bull terrier, and Mr.. Jobson's neigh
Dor, who had leaped the fence upon
hearing the conflict, sedulously applied
club to the fox terrier. From that
Mr.. Jobson and his neighbor got to APP
plying their respective clubs to each
other.
''Take that devilish hydrophobia-
vicious brute out O. here!" shouted Mr..
Jobson. IF you don't remove that
mad dog from my premises in just ex-
actly IL seconds I'll land you in state
prison for knowingly, maliciously and
viciously harboring dog that has got
rabies in it's worst. form!"
With the aid of two-inch stream
of water from a hose and couple OF
crowbars the two dogs were pried
loose. The next evening both of them
were ornamented with brand-new
muzzles.
you've changed your mind about
muzzles, I see," said Mrs. Jobson, when
Mr.. Jobson unwrapped the bundle con-
tanning the muzzle.
"Changed nothing" replied Mr.. job
son, haughtily. II don't want my dog
to kill that idiots dog next door and
to get me sued for damages, that's all"
Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-16

as though the fate of the nation depend
ed upon the settlement of the question.
Afer elevators were placed in the cap
itol, however, Senator Sawyer admitted
that they were fine modern conven-
fences, and he gave up the exercise of
climbing the stairs.
Gustave Schleicher, of Texas, was
born in Germany and spoke with pro-
nounced foreign accent. One of his
strongest supporters was Robert Klotz,
Pennsylvania Dutchman, who spoke
excellent English. Schleicher did most
of his work by moving about among
the members talking privately to them
in favor of elevators, but Klotz made
a number of telling speeches in favor of
the project.
Speaking of elevators in the capitol
for the comfort and convenience of
statesmen and of visitors, it is appro-
pirate to say in this connection that,
although the stairs on the east front
ofthe capitol are long and cause weari.
ness to those who use them, the stairs
on the west front are much longer and
harder to climb. The greater part of
Washington is built west of the CAPT.
toll, and all of the best hotels are west
of the building. Therefore visitors
usually approach the capitol from that
side. Thousands annually get off Of
the street cars at the foot of Capitol
hill and climb those stairs. They
should not do so. They should remain
in the cars, for. they go around the
capitolgrounds and up the hill. There
icre, when you come to Washington,
by remaining in the cars you can be
carried up the hill, and alight on the
level plaza of the east front. Then,
by walking to the senate or house
wing, entering the driveways beneath
the marble staircases, you can. easily
find one of the elevators already de-
scribed and reach your destination,
the main floor of the building, without
exertion or loss of breath.
1t is important to particularly re-
member> that when you enter the
house wing of the capitol you are at
liberty to take either one of the ele-
vators there. But when you enter the
senate wing you should ask the police
man Or guide to direct you to the pub
lie elevator, and thus avoid the en-
barrassment of going to one of the ex-
elusive elevators and being told that
you cannot use it. Some American cit
liens don't like that sort of thing; but
the writer merely sets forth the exist
ing facts, without comment.
SMITH D. FRY.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-16
KLOTZ TALKING ELEVATORS.

often use the senate entrance instead
of driving to the. central part of the
capitol, where their exclusive elevator
is running. Senators use this elevator
because it is near the senate restau-
rant, and those dignified statesmen do
not want to be crowded and iostled
by the plain people.
The other exclusive elevator is on
the west side of the senate wing, and
is used exclusively by senators and
newspaper men. 1t leads to the senate
press gallery, as we'll as to the main
floor of the senate and the senate gal
leries. Not only is this elevator ex-
elusive, but the corridor approaching it
is kept from public use. A Waterman
is stationed there, and he will not per-
NIT anyone to even enter the corridor.
OF course, if you are accompanied by a
senator the Waterman says nothing,
because senator's can do as they please,
and take with them whatsoever they de-
sire. But no citizen is allowed 10 use
that corridor or elevator who comes
there alone. No exception to this rule
is ever made.
Two of these elevators have steam
power, and four of them are run by cleo
tricity. The two elevators in the house
wing are of old style and they move
very slowly. The supreme court eleva-
tor and the three in the senate wing
have electric power, and they move very
swiftly. Many people Individually use
the elevators number of times each
day. Consequently the aggregate num-
Der carried amounts 10 several thou
sand daily. They are almost always
crowded when the senate and house
of representatives are in session.
1t may seem singular now to state
that the congress debated the subject
of elevators for ten years before max
ing appropriations for them, although
elevators were used in all large build.
ings in the principal cities. In 1876
when your correspondent first visited
this city, there was no elevator in the
marble building, but the subject OF
making appropriations for that pur.
pose was under consideration. Year
after year efforts were made to secure
appropriations for this purpose, but
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-16
His Comprehensive Toast

A short time ago the Italian colony
In New York gave banquet to Mar
conf. the famous inventor. The formal
tcasts were given and answered with
customary eloguence.
1t was pointed out that Marconi had
made one of the great inventions #
the century, and had won everlasting
fame. Then the chairman said, amid
Perfect silence:
''Only through self-sacrifce and love
of his mother did our distinguished
compatriot obtain the education and
the advantages which enabled him to
accomplish the feats which have made
him immortal. Fellow countrymen,
1 have the honor to propose as your
toast: Here's to the Mother of; the
Father Of Wireless Telegraphy.'"-
Philadelphia Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-16
Sweet Potato Crouuettes.

For dish of croquettes, boil say half
a dozen potatoes; when cod peel and
mash them, adding two big Jumps of
butter (about two tablespoonfuls), a
little nutmeg, and pepper and salt, and
the yolks of two well-beaten eggs. Stir
this all together thoroughly over the
fire, and when it is smooth mixture
lay it aside to cool. When cold form
into croquettes, or egg-shaped balls,
roll in egg and bread crumbs and fry
them in hot fat. Lay napkin on the
dish you serve them in, and garnish
heavily with parsley leaves. The effect
is very pretty, and they will come as a
surprise to your guests.-Ladies'
World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-16
"Look here. Robson" he said. ..what

look here, Robson" he said, what
do you think of this COMPOUNDED dog
muzzling proposition, anyhow? I'm
agin it from away back, and that fox
terrier of mine is going to run around
this town all he wants to, without any
trap on his head, either! If there's
any one thing that 'ud be calculated
to drive that dog of mine mad it would
be to put a muzzle on him; he's high
strung, like all registered thorough
bred dogs, and he'd be dancing around
like a whirling dervish in no time at
all"
'l'm with you!" said Mr.. Jobson's
neighbor. Don't believe in the bust
ness at all. My bull terriers as HARM
less as a kitten, and I'D as lief put a
muzzle on myself as to decorate that
dog with one of the contrivances. I'm
going to let him run about, too, and"
"And if any dog catcher or police
man has the gall to try to work your
dog into the pound because the dogs
unmuzzled you'll carry the matter to
the supreme court of the United States
~ SCl JuSl1Cc. 1udl . w udl IL 40, anu
that's what you'll do! Wen just call
that bargain, if you're agreeable"
After some further talk along similar
lines, Mr.. Jobson's neighbor took his
leave. Mr.. Jobson, filled with new
affection for an animal upon which a
heartless government desired to per-
petrate unheard-of infamies, went out
into his back yard to have romp with
his fox terrier. 1t so happened that
Mr.. Jobson's neighbor was in the back
yard of his home at the same time, put
ting some fresh straw in the kennel
Of his bull terrier. The bull terrier
was turned loose during the remak-
ing of his bed, and he heard the gyrat-
ings and the cavortings of the fox ter
rier in Mr.. Jobson's yard. He was over
the fence within eight seconds after
having been turned loose, and then Mr..
Jobson's fox terrier found himself in
real, poignant trouble. The bull terrier
proceeded to make sad hash of his
neighbor, the fox terrier. The yelpinga
of the latter could be heard three blocks.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-16

they were thwarted by the alleged
economists" the principal director
being William S. Holman, of Indiana,
who was called "the watchdog Of the
treasury" At that time Mr.. HOLMAN
was chairman of the house committee
on appropriations, and he possessed
power sufficient to block oil appropria.
tions which did not meet with Ihis an
prevail. He declared that 'representa.
tives who were too lazy to walk up-
stairs ought not to be in congress-" and
he would mot consent to have the peo-
pies money wasted in that manner"
However, just about 20 years ago,
when another man had the chairman
ship of the committee on appropria-
tons, an agreement was reached where
by appropriations were wade for two
elevators; one for the senate and one
for the house of representatives. That
was the beginning. Four others have
since been added, and it is expected that
two more will be added during the pres
ent year, one for the senate and one for
the house of representatives.. Nobody
now objects, because everybody con-
cedes that elevators are a public neces-
sity, and that two more will be required
for the accommodation of the general
public.
In the Forty-sixth congress when the
first appropriations were made, and in
several preceding congresses, there
were two fat men in congress who took
opposite sides of the question of ap-
preparations for elevators. Gustave'
Schleicher, of Texas, was tall man and
very large. He advocated elevators be-
cause it was so hard for him to climb
the long stairways. Philetus Sawyer
was senator from Wisconsin,. He was
not very tall, but he was so fat that he
fairly waddled when he walked. He
said that he would rather climb the
stairs for exercise than to vote an ap-
preparation for his own convenience.
Both of these gentlemen were very pop
ular, and both of them had adherents.
and the debate about elevators went on
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-16
Sarcasm.

"Don't you think it's very rude to
talk during an artists musical per-
fo1mance?" said Willie Washington.
EYES," answered Miss Cayenne; "es.
Pec;al]y when one considers that the
music is designed to give relief from
the stupidity of conversation. Wash.
ington Star.