Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-12-26
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| '''"s"t ~ N"N NY tstatts you were at
ter.-Tlt-Bits.
Parke-"lye just had my telephone
taken out Lane-"What for:r Parke
My next door neighbor put ons la. p
Harper's Bazaar.
! Bad Timcs.-"He has always rua his
business like clockwork.' Yes. aud
now his creditors have wound 1t up
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Mrs. Bcker-There you go agsin, You
always were a fault-tinder. Mr.. Bicker
Sure; and III never forget the day |
found you.-Chicago News.
The Bachelor-"Single. blessedness is
good thing" The Benedet-"Weii.
isn't double blessedness twice AS
ood:'-Yonkers Statesman.
| Justlce-"What were you doing ia
Colonel Pullets chicken coop:" Uncle
Mose-"Fo de Lawd, Judge. | was jes
takin' de census, Harlem Life.
Snarley-"You don't have to be aa
artist TO draw n check" Yow-"No,
but you have to be n royal academlcian
to get 1t cashed. syracuse Herald
would you start out on journey on
Friday?' mo. Indeed why are
people so superstitiouss I'm not su-
perstltious, | am paid on Saturday.
Answers.
She-"I wonder why II Is that 50
many old maids have fat bank nc.
counts" He-"probably for lack of
anything else. they husband their 10.
sources. Brooklyn Life.
How did you ever happen TO marry
hlmI" "Why, he made me mad
Mad? How" "He acted as IL he
didn't think | would and rather hoped
wouldn't. Chicago Post
What Is that quiet, inoffensive little
man over there In the corner!' In
offensive? Say, don't YOU start him up;
he's the professor who is master of
eight languages. Chicago Record
On the Contrary: vane Glory-I hope
Swainston said nothing about me the
other night, old chap? Cecil Swarve
Not word. old man: In fact, we had
quite an interesting little chat.-Judy.
"Mr Hardcase," said the minister, II
saw your sou in a saloon yesterday
Did youT replied Mr.. sHardcase; Il
hope he had the politeness TO ask you to
have something. g."-Philadeiphla Rec
ord.
City Nephew-"What do you think
of DR.. Pillsbury as physician?
Farmer Hayroob-"Safest doctor any
where in this part of the country
nearly always off fishin' when he's
wanted.
Hoax-Why is the merchant who /.
doesn't advertise like man in q row. i
boat? Joax-Because he goes back =
ward, l suppose. Hoax-No; becsu uss
he has to get along without sales
Philadelphia Press.
His Meaning. what do you mean
when you say she lampooned her hus-
bandT' asked the magistrate Of the
witness. 81 mean she threw lighted
lamp at him." the witness explained
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
Warwick-England keeps getting
friendlier than ever to us since she got
into trouble with the Transvaal. Wick
wire-Yes; she now claims that she
the Hesslans last century.-Judge.
Fairlie-Jack, have you that ten
pounds l lent you the other day?
Flyntle-Not all OF it, old chap; but
what l have will do me day or two
longer. Jolly kind and thoughtful OF
you to inquire, hough.-Glasgow Eyea-
ing Times.
A Long sought Friend: Christian Sci-
entist-First, you must eliminate fear
Witherby-H Have you no fear? Christina
Scientist-None whatver. Witherby-
Then you're just the one I'm looking
for. Come and help me discharge my
cook.-Life.
ssems,' said the young poets mis-
guided admirer, ARE full OF words that
burn?'' "Well no." replied the editor.
81 never put them to that test; | merely
drop them in the waste basket"--Phil-
adelphia Press
Don't you get tired said the talka-
tive customer standing there hour by
hour ironing one stiff-bosomed shirt
after the other:" No" answered the
Chinese laundryman. 1T rests me ~
think / dop't have TO wear them"
Washington Star
There is safety in numbers said,ths
trite conversationalist. There is.'' aa-
swered the man who talks on politics:
IF you can't convince man by your
argument you can always silence him
by quoting lot of statistics that he
knows absolutely nothing about
Washington Star. :.
Blanche-"I wish you'd listen to thts.,
Laura writes to have me hunt up, uteIa
airy information for her club paper ~la:
no less than seven topics" Dorothy
"Dear me! What will you dOY"
Blanche-"Oh, l won't find time to an
swer the letter until after she has done
seeding the information" n."-Indianapolis
Journal