davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13
The Carroll HumOr.

Lewis CARROTS special gift for humor-
Gus diversions was never better Illus
trated, says the London Globe, than in
one of the letters to little girls printed IN
The Lewis Carroll Picture Book"
Il may as well just tell you a few of
the things l like, and then, whenever YOU
want to give me a birthday present (my
birthday comes once every seven years on
the fifth Tuesday in ApriD you will know
what to give me. Well, | like, very much
indeed little mustard with bit of beef
spread thinly under it; and l like brown
sugar-only it should have some apple pud-
ding mixed with it to keep 1t from be-
ing too sweet; but perhaps what l like
best of all is salt, with some soup poured
over it. The use of the soup is to hinder
the salt from being too dry; and il helps
to melt it."
OF course, it is possible to do that sort
of thing deliberately, sitting down to it
with model before one; but with Lewis
Carroll it was natural and spontaneous
One of the best instances of this kind
og humor, outside of Lewis Carroll. is in
a story of the great Dumas. Arriving one
sitting hot day at his sons house. he
subsidized in chair in the garden, in the
hope of catching a little breeze. But
nonz came. Alexandra, Alexander he
called to his son in the house. open the
windows, l beseech you, and let a little
ar into the garden"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Meetings-Public Meeting of Citizens.
Special Notices-Paints, Oils. Varnishes,
Etc; Andrew Hanley Company; Mantels,
Tiling and Crates, Savannah Building
Supply Company; Reward, w. A. Will.
cox, Darien, Ga; Ship Notice. ]. F. Minis
& Co., Consignoes: Fresh Laid Country
Eggs, A. Ehrlich & Bro; Ship Notice,
Geo. C. busting. Master British Steam
ship Rameh; Copartnership duBignon
stephens; The Place to Buy Your Gro
ceries, Canned Goods and Vegetables,
Drayton Grocery Company; Fine New
Georgia Syrup F. A. Harms; Invita- tons,
Jos. ]. Joyce; Nj. S. Gardeners List;
Pickles, c. II. Monsees; Better
Meals, San Francisco Restaurant; Ship
Notice Strachan q Co, Consignees; Ia
Bile Delicacies, Hotchkiss & Nevill; The
Most Selected Stock of Canned Goods, at
the Abercorn.
Business NOTES.-The Popularity of the
Cleveland, r. D. & VIM. baltimore Fan
cy Crackers, Est. S. w. Branch; Staples,
Relishes, Delicacies. c. A. Munster
Amusements-"A Bachelors Dilemma
at the Matinee, and ''The Red Cross
Nurse at the Theater at Night; What
Happened TO Jones?" at Theater Jan.
16
Whiskey-Hunter Baltimore Rye Whis-
key.
Segars-Winnie Davis Segars.
Legal Notices-In the Matter of Frank
c. Cross, Bankrupt; Citations From the
Clerk of the Court of Ordinary of Chat
ham County.
Laundry-Georgia Steam Laundry.
Mineral Water-Hunyadi Janos.
Salt-The Favorite Salt.
Medical-Dr. Williams Pink Pills; DR..
Hathaway Company; Browns Bronchial
Troches; Mothers Friend; DIR. Kennedy's
Favorite Remedy; Cuticura Remedies.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted For Rent;
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13
IN HIS OWN HOUSEHOLD.

| 1t is the understanding that in his speech
on the Philippines in the Senate last Tues
day Senator Beveridge Spoke the senti-
nients Of the administration Assuming
| that he did. the President is making
trouble for himself in his own household.
Among the things which appeared in the
| Senator scheme for the government of
the Philippines were the following tariff
proposals.: 1.-The abolition Of duties on
exports from the Philippines; the estab-
lishment of import duties on a revenue
basis with such discrimination in favQc
of American imports as will prevent the
cheaper goods of other nations from de-
stroyins American trade"
It is somewhat remarkable that the
President who is noted for his high pro-
lection ideas. should favor permitting the
products of the Philippines to come into
our markets free of duty. 1t is certain
that if he favors a policy Of that kind he
will not be in harmony with a very big
element in his party. Some of the Re
publican papers are already condemning
that policy in the strongest terms. They
are pointing out that our tobacco, sugar
the cheap labor of this new possession Of
ours in the East, and that, consequently,
these interests would be destroyed
If the administration gets the protection
lists of its party down on it it will be sadly
in need OF friends. Some of the ablesC
of the Republican leaders are opposed TO
the administration policy of making the
Philippines a permanent possession. If
these two clements of the Republican par
ty-the opponents of the permanent pos
session of the islands and those against
admitting Philippine imports free of duty
join hands, the administration will find II
difficult to get much support for its Phil
ippine programme.
The other proposition, that of discrimi
mating in favor of American manufacture
ed goods exported TO Manila, is likely 10
strike even the thick and thin supporters
of the administration as most remarka-
bile in view of the assent which Mr.. Hay,
the Secretary of State, has just obtained
from the nations of Europe to the open
door" policy in China. Is it at all proba-
BILE that European Powers which have Sc
cured spheres of influence" in China will
stand by their agreement with Secretary
Hay, TO make no discrimination against
our commerce in China, il we make dis
examinations against their commerce in the
Philippines?
1t is evident that about everything in
connection with our islands in the East
is in a state of chaos. The administra-
ton has a policy in regard to every mat
ter pertaining to them, but it is going to
have a great deal of trouble to get Con-
gress to accept its policies. Indeed, the
administration is certain to have an album
dance of trouble with its own party be
fore the governments relations with the
islands are adjusted
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13
Frank Daniels and Banking.

Frank, Daniels will take no advice this
season in the matter of securing the sane
uty of his bank account, says the Chi
season friend in his dressing room show
ed him how easily his signature could be
forged. Daniels mentioned the incident
later to another friend, who suggested
that Daniels put a certain mark on his
checks, in addition to his signature and
to notify his bank to pay no check not so
marked. Daniels adopted the suggest ton,
decided on the secret mark and place and
notified his bankers. He ended his sea-
son month or so later and on reaching
home found a bundle of bills due to the
number of over 100 He devoted the next
morning TO sending checks for them and
then voted himself a holiday by way of
reward. Two days later he received word
from one of the men to whom he had sent
a check that the check had been refused
at Daniels bank and that there were ST.
protest fees Before he could get over
his establishment another mail brought
two similar letters each with $3.50 pro-
test fees notice. Visions of having in
some way been despoiled of his fat bank
account Daniels made a dash for the train,
missed it. and then being unable to reach
the bank in time was compelled to wait
till the next day. That afternoons mall
and the next mornings mail brought four
teen more checks, every one having at
tached to it a protest fee notificatio His
bank never seemed so far away before.
But he reached it at last.
What" he pantingly asked the teller
what is my balance?"
This was said with prepared for the
worst look in his face
'Twenty-three thousand dollars" said
the clerk. Then Daniels, with a look of
injured dignity, said:
why, then, have my checks been re-
fused payment"
Because they didn't have the secret
mark you notified us Of" the teller re-
sponded.
Holy smoker the comedian exclaimed
Il forgot it! Great jumping Jehosaphat:
And l have sent over 100 checks. How
many have you refused altogether
Daniels whispered the inquiry as if in
hope he'd get a small reply. The teller
consulted a slip, and in a cold blooded
financial way replied:
Just fifty-one."
Daniels made a swift calculation
''Noughts nought. Five times ones five
and fives twenty-five and two times fifty
ones hundred and two added 10 twenty
five times one hundred and twenty-seven
dollars and fifty cents for protest fees
Say Mr.. Teller, just destroy that secret
mark letter and hereafter pay my checks
with just little Frankie'S name on them
There is such a thing as having your
money altogether too safe
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13
lIIsRULE IN CITIES.

1t is proposed to raise the tax rate in
the city of Atlanta because there is not
money enough in the treasury to make
certain needed improvements. We do not
know whether this condition of that city's
financial affairs is due to bad manage
ment or not 1t is safe TO say probably
that if such attention had been given 10
the city's business as a clear headed bus
mess man gives to his private affairs the
necessity for the proposed Improvements
would have been foreseen and provided
for There would have been reductions in
expenses and economies inaugurated long
ago and thus there would have been
money on hand for the improvements
when the time came for making them.
In almost every American city the aim
of the municipal government appears to
be to spend every cent of the revenue and
to 20 into debt as far as the law will per-
nit. The pay rolls are filed up with men
whose services are not needed, and who,
in fact. do very little for the salaries they
receive Many of them are political round
ers, who are not expected to do anything
except look out for the interests of the
party or faction that provides them with
bread and butter. The public money is
spent with very little regard to the bene-
fits to be received from it by the city.
A few days ago it was stated that the
treasury of the city of Chicago was emp
ty and that there was very poor pros
pect for the school teachers to get their
money soon. The assertion has been made
by reputable citizens of Chicago, that the
business of the city could be conducted
more satisfactorily with half the force
that is now on the city's pay rolls. If re-
ports are to be relied upon the pay rolls
are padded with the names of useless Of
ficias The superintendent of streets has
admitted that he has exhausted the APP
preparation for his department. and that
the streets are in a worse condition than
they have been for a long time.
1t would be an easy matter to name
half hundred cities that are in as bad
a plight as Chicago And their financial
condition appears to be getting worse in
stead of better The great problem of the
day in this country is how to govern
cities wisely and economically. The voters
do not seem to care whether or not care
full, competent and conscientious men are
chosen to manage the governments of
their respective cities. 1t is not to be won
dered at therefore that misrue in Amer
lean cities is so general
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13

This happened in Ohio, according to the
Chicago Times-EIerad.
"A tailor had made a suit of clothes for a
preacher, but when the latter called for his
rament the tailor declined to let the suit
go out of his hands until he was paid
You are unreasonable" said the preach-
er. surely you cannot expect me TO nav
for these clothes until have taken them
home and tried them on. TO satisfy myself
~NS< :. 4 axsAaas- 5ussaxs, nAs.. suS.
III l"iHisHiiiS sdlT a aHHHaz4A>ee1nnA.1z
who pay you your salary" the tailor re
piled. do you always wait for your paw
until after the goods have been delivered
and the recipient has found out for sure
that they are all you recommend them
to be-"
Then the preacher fell upon the tailor
and smote him hip and thigh. insomuch
mat they had 10 put the maker of gar
ments to bed Ind battle him with ONT
ments. Moreover, the preacher took the
clothes that had been made for him and
carried them away, 20 be paid for at his
own convenience.
What shall 1t profit man to corner his
adversary in argument when the other
fellow can hit harder. jump higher, run
faster and dodge quicker?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13
Was He Superstitiouss

The dignifed gentleman with the buck
skin gloves saw a pin lying on the side
walk. He stopped to pick it up without
removing his gloves, says. the indianapolis
Press.
The first grab essayed about three
grains of sand, but the dignified gentle
man persisted. A bootblack a newsboy
and two idlers stopped to see the perform
ance, and with this nucleus the crowd
gathered rapidly and began Offering ad-
vice
Good for you, old boyn'
Now you got itr
Somebody git him derrickr'
Say amt you afraid of apopIexy?"
Stick to it"' called a voice with a sus-
picious intonation of insincerity, and the
pin was picked up and the dignifed man.
drew small box from his overcoat pock-
ct, opened it, and said
well, said, my friend. Stick to it. has
always been my motto, and you will find
it blown in each and every bottle of this
justly celebrated mucilage, which | am
Offering at the small price of Is cents a
bottle. It"
But the crowd had melted away. with
the exception of the man who had spolen
the cue"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13

Lionel Walter Rothschild, who is the
richest of the Englishmen to volunteer
for service in South Africa is we'll fitted
for rough service. He has always been
an excellent horseman and a crack shot
with both revolver and rifle.
In describing Rudyard Kiphng's recent
effort at speechmakng the London Acad-
envy says: When he showed his face in
the schoolroom-it was crowded-his
rockingham neighbors cheered him
nightly, and he FLUSHED like a
great kid When he got up on
the platform TO speak he was as
white as a ghost. He had evidently learn
ed his little speech by heart, and spun 1t
out at a terrific rate. OF course this was
nervousness. 1t struck me that he felt
if he were TO hesitate he would be lost
The big Englanders will never get Kip
ling as a platform spouter He'd COL
lapse at the end of his third meeting"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13

The MORNING NEWS Is published
every day in the year. and is served to
subscribers In the city. or sent by mail
at zoe a month, $AOO for six months. and
$500 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS by mail, Elk
times a Geek (without Sunday issue),
three months, $50; SIX months. $500; one
year, 500.
The WEEKLY NEWS, issues a week,
Monday and Thursday. by mail, one year
sl.0O.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Re
init by postal orders check or registered
letter. Currency sent by mail at risk OF
senders.
Transient advertisements. other than
special column local or reading notices.
amusements and cheap or want column
10 cents a line. Fourteen lines of agate
type-equaI to one inch square in depth
is the standard of measurement. Contract
rates and discounts made known on apph-
cation at business office.
Orders for delivery of the MORNING
NEWS TO either residence or place OF
business may be made by postal card or
through telephone No. 30 Any irregular
hy in delivery should be Immediately re-
ported to the office of publication.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, o Park Row, New
York city. H. C. Faulkner. Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13
THEY MAY GET NEW IDEAS.

The British government is showing the
same contempt for it's colonists that En-
glishmen have always shown for colo
malls. All of the honors of the South At
rican war are going to those born in Eng
land, and the services of competent colo
mails have been refused while the recruit
ing of the Imperial yeomanry." of doubt
full value, has been authorized. There is
better fighting material in British North
America and in the Australasian Islands
than is 10 be found in the British Isles
with the exception of Ireland Had 100,-
900 volunteers from Canada and Australia
been asked for they would have been
forthcoming, and the British army would
be in better shape to win victories against
the hardy Beers AT all events, it would
not be surprising if 1t should yet be neces-
sary for the British colonies to go to the
rescue of their mother country, and whip
the South African Dutchmen; in which
event many of the colonial volunteers
might return to their homes with their
heads fun of ideas not especially conducive
to the good of English Imperialism. The
next century might, indeed see republics
in South Africa, British North America
and Australia, where the cross of ST.
George is now floating.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13

Green bit the TIP OF his cigar savagely.
says the Detroit Free Press. well, I'm
deucedly glad of one thing" he snapped
What's that?" asked White.
That this is the last year of the CEN
tury."
"Why?"
Because after the first of next January
we won't hear or see again for ninety
years, at least, that expression, fin de
slecler"
White started as though thought had
crept into his brain while he Wasn't look
ing. by the way, Green" he observed,
what's the meaning of that phrase, any
way?"
Green's brow contracted II don't know
for sure" he replied, but I've got a
daughter studying French in Mrs Jigger' $
day school, and she say It means fine as
silk"
And White made a note of 1t in his
pocketbook.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13

The stock of the sugar trust dropped
many points on Wednesday, not because
of a panic in the stock market or a raid
on that particular stock, but because Mr.
Havemeyer. the president of the trust, in
his annual report, declared that dividends
would not be paid unless they were earned,
and intimated that, owing to the war with
competitors. there was a prospect of a re-
duction in the dividends. When the spec
ulators in the stock heard what the pres
ldent had said many of them FASTENED to
unload the shares of the trust they were
carrying.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13

King Alexander of servia, the monarch
who doesn't bother to put on top shirt,
coat or shoes to receive visitors, and his
father, ex-King Milan, have been caught
applying to their own uses the military
funds of the government. Owing to the
fact that ''the king can do no wrong"
their populations will go unpublished. The
probable future state of these two royal
reprobates affords a theme for specula-
ton. 1t is hard to think that respectable
sinners would be Gagged with such as they
throughout all eternity.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13

Allen of Nebraska, the Populist who has
been returned to The Senate by grace OF
the fusion with Democrats in his state,
has signalized his new term by introducing
one of the broadcast and most Ubiquitous
pension bills ever presented to that body.
1t proposes for every person, soldier or
sailor, who served on the federal side in
the War of Secession for three months or
more, pension of $40 a month. This
would let down the bars to every bounty
jumper deserter or other person who could
show that he had worn a Union uniform
for three months. And it would add hum
dreds of millions OF dollars 10 the pension
rolls.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13

1t may be that nothing stirring will oc-
cur in South Africa for the next three
weeks or such a matter; but after that
time mighty events may be expected TO
tread upon the heels Of each other. Mr.
Richard Harding Davis has sailed for the
seat Of war, with several trunks full of
copy paper and lead pencils. 1t will take
him about three weeks to get up where
he can tell Lord Roberts and Gen Kitch-
gin 10 happen.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13

Ex-Congressman Posey of Indiana must
suggest If he imagines he is advocating
new idea in proposing that the Ameri-
can negroes be returned TO Africa to civ
ilze the savage tribes of that country.
The scheme has been discussed for the
past ten or fifteen years, by Bishop Tur-
ner, Senator Butler and dozens of others.
But nobody, not even the daisy Posey of
Indiana, has yet suggested a practicable
plan Of removing the blacks to Africa
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13
DEwEy's CLAIM FOR BOUNTY.

An interesting claim has just been ar
gued before the Court of Claims at Wash
ington, and, it is expected, will be decided
within a very few days. 1t is the claim
of Admiral Dewey and his officers ana
men for bounty for the destruction of Ad-
miral Montojo's fleet in Manila bay. The
amount of the claim depends upon the
question as to whether Admiral Dewey's
force was superior to that of the enemy.
If superior the men will get 500 apiece,
and if inferior 5000 apiece. If 500 apiece
is allowed the whole amount of the claim
will be 1892. $780, but if only 500 apiece is
allowed then the whole amount will be
$91, 400
AS TO whether the enemy's force was SUI
perior or not depends. it seems, on whether
the shore batteries and the submarine
mines are to be taken into account If
they are then there is no doubt that the
enemys force was the superior, and Ad-
miral Dewey's men will be entitled to $500
apiece.
In the argument the department of JUS
tce took the ground that the submarine
mines and the shore batteries could not
be considered. because the statute which
authorizes the bounty mentions only YES
sells 1t is contended. however. thai y -
-..,,.;.. = -. uu,xss.sansszs me I.,,,
that the entire force of the enemy shall
be taken into account
In discussing this case before the Court
of Claims the battle of Manila was gone
into very thoroughly. The number of yes
sells and men under the Spanish Admiral
and the number under Admiral Dewey
were stated as accurately as it was pos
sible TO state them. 1t seems that there
were on the Spanish vessels that were
destroyed 1914 men. The Spanish Admi-
raj also had the greater number of YES
sells, but they were inferior to those of
Admiral Dewey. and the guns of the Span
iards were inferior If the shore batteries
are taken into account, however. the
Spauiards were better supplied with guns
than the Americans.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13

Chairman Odell of the New York State
Republican Committee says he attended
the McGovern-Dixon prize fight the other
night, and that it was "a fake all the
way through" There was nothing brutal
about it, he declared; it was all fixed up
beforehand. and the spectators were hum
plugged. For these reasons Mr.. Odell VIII
use his influence to have the Horton law
repealed 1t is little difficult to under
stand clearly Mr.. Odelrs objections. Did
he lose money on Dixon, or is he mad be-
cause prize fighting under the law is
not as brutal as the spectators have a
right to expect for their money?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-01-13

A Chicago alderman has introduced an
ordinance proposing that tenders be re-
quired on all automobile vehicles. The
automobile is an innovation on city streets.
but the experience so far has been that
they are really less dangerous. in so far
as pedestrians are concerned, than We
hicles drawn by animals The automobile
requires less space and is more quickly
responsive to the manipulation of the
driver than the horse vehicle. The fender
proposition seems absurd.