davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08
A Question of Clocks.

Which is the best. q clock that Is
right only once year. or clock that
Ia right twice every day? THE latter"
you reply. "unquestionably.
Very good. reader; now attend.
have two clocks: one doesn't go dt all
and the other loses minute day
which would you prefer? 1.-THE losing
one," you answer. without a doubt"
Now observe The one which loses
a minute a day has to lose IL hours, or
100 minutes. before 1t Is right again;
consequently it Is only right once In
two years. whereas the other Is evil
IDENTIFY right as often as the time it
points to come round. which happens
twice a day. So you've contradicted
yourself once. "Ah. but you say.
whats the use of its being right
twice a day, If can't tell when the
time comesY'
Why, suppose the clock points to 8
O'clock, don't you see that the clock Is
right at O'Clock? Consequently when
8 o'clock comes your clock is right.
eyes. l see that" you reply.
Very good; then you've contradieted
yourself twice. Now get out of the diff
ficulty as you can. and don't contradict
yourself again IL you can help it,
Lewis Carroll Picture Book"
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08
Literary Notes.

In McClure's magazine for March,
Captain Joshua Slocum, the quaint and
hardy Yankee skipper who once made
VOYAGE around the world all by himself,
will tell the story of his unparalleled
achievement of sailing the Ericsson
torpedo-,oat destroyer" one of the
most unwieldy masses of metal ever con-
structed TO fl )at at all, from New York
to Brazil, through the fiercest winds and
the highest seas. The article will be
illustrated from photographs and draw
iDgs.
Director OF the United States Mint
George K. Roberts writes the leading
article for the March Forum. In
''Government Deposits in Banks" he
quotes from the works of many former
Secretaries of the Treasury in order to
sustain Secretary Gage in his recent
action regarding the governmental sur
plus. MI Roberts believes In providing
definite rules to govern the management
of the Treasury, which would relieve
the Secretary of the Treasury from the
necessity of doing something that ex-
perienoe has shown cannot be done with
out subjecting him to unmerited
criticism.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08

1t Is said by cynic of the mascu'
line gender that man never yields
when he knows he Is in the right nor
woman when she Is equally certain
she is in the wrong. In an Amster-
dam ayeaue car the other day. while
the conductor was forward collecting
fares, woman. followed by a large
English bulldog. entered and seated
herself.
Madam said the conductor, dogs
are not allowed in these cars"
81 am going to Fifty seventh street
Here Is my fare" was the answer.
81 cannot take it. madam. 1t Is as
much as my position is worth to lei
that dog ride In this car.
"Here ID my fare"
al must enforce the rule. 1t would
be better to get off quietly; otherwise
l shall have to call an officer
"I've taken the dog In these cars be-
fore"
"Only dogs that can be carried are
allowed to ride in these cars.
"Come. darling, get in mothers lap,
she said TO the beast and after consid-
cradle effort she succeeded in drag
ging darling upon her knees. She
flashed a look of scorn at the con
ductor and exclaimed. NOW. aren't
you ashamed of yourselfY'-New Yorh
Herald.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08

Most people know of the peculiar cir
cumstances under which Robert Louis
Stevenson won his wife. But even
more romantic and astounding was the
unique wedding gift he got with her.
When Stevenson met his future fate
at Barbizon, a famous artists resort
near Paris, she was the wife of MIR.
Osborne, an Oakland gentleman. The
friendship thus formed led Stevenson
to pay a visit to California. He arrived
at Monterey in a dying condition, but
the loving care of Mrs. Osborne and
her sister, Nellie Van der Grift gradu-
ally won him back to life. The nurs-
ing completed his infatuation for the
lady-an infatuation which he did not
pretend to conceal Fortunately Os-
borne raised no objections. He not
only agreed to the divorce, but with a
magnanimity rarely excelled actually
attended the wedding breakfast. There
he found his opportunity.
Mrs Stevenson's one source of regret
was the positive loss of her son, Lloyd
Osborne. whom, of course, the father
had the right to claim. Osborne made
happy speech. facilitating the newly
married couple. and wound up by offer
ing the most original of wedding pres
ents. ITO the bride" he said, Il give
that which of all things is nearest and
dearest to her heart. her own SON.
Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08
ALL THE NEWS
from Somerset Towns.
LarOne.

We came pretty near being showed In,
as all the roads were not passable until
Monday. We had no mail from Wednes-
day until Saturday evening, last week,
and then 1t was the Thursdays mail
only, having been on the road since
Thursday night, and finally being
brought 10 by the mail carrier on his
back.
One of 'our young ladies, Miss Clara
Bigelow, Is at home, having arrived on
the Saturday evenings train, and moth
ing daunted from the fact that no con-
veyance was at hand to take her the rest
of the way home, che started out ON the
crust and walked home a distance OF
three miles. She will remain two weeks,
when she will return to the Pennington
Normal school, where she will graduate,
next term.
A sociable and quilting bee was given
by Miss Anna Gullifer to invited friends,
Wednesday Of last week. In the even
ing an oyster supper was served.
Mr.. c. Sawyer and Miss Jennie Leavltt
of Norridgewock took walk on the
crust, last Sunday, aud visited Larone.
Mrs. Clara Bickford Of oakland was
visiting her daughter In Larone, last
week.
Mrs. Lizzie Holway Is on the sick list.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08

present site within year. The Sargent
houses are the Oldest on the river and
shipped the first cargoes of ice from the
Penobscot to New York 20 years ago.
The United States auxiliary cruiser
Prairie, which sailed from Hampton
Roads, February 8, loaded with United
States exhibits for the Paris exposition,
arrived at Rouen, France, Thursday A
! delegation from the chamber of COM
merce visited the vessel to offer greet
ing to Commander Mackenzie. The
latter afterwards called on the Project,
the commander of the Rouen army
corps and various other notables of the
city.
1t is understood that the new steamer
Gov. Dingley will be withdrawn from
the route between Boston and Portland
and will be placed on the Maine S. $.
company's run between New York and
Portland, temporarily taking the place
of one of the boats which will haul off
for an overhauling. During the absence
of the Governor Dingley the old Ire
mont will probably be taken out of re-
tirement and placed on the road to Bos-
ton.
Congressman Sydney Epes of Virginia,
who was operated on for appendicitis in
Washington, Friday, died at Garfield
hospital at IL O'clock, Friday night.
Mr. Epes was i'll but short time, hay-
ing attended the session of the House
on Wednesday. He was born in 1855,
was journalist and had served in the
legislature of Virginia in the 55th Con
gress until unseated by the Republicans,
and In the present Congies He was a
Democrat.
1t is probable that the big battleship
Kearsarge, fitted out at the Norfolk
Navy Yard, will be added to the fleet
within the next few weeks and take part
in the summer maneuvres along the
New England coast. She will take the
place of the New York as the flagship of
that squadron. AS the New York is
greatly in need of repairs it is likely
that as soon as relieved by the Kear.
sarge she is to be put into dry dock at
New York for thorough overhauling.
The new schooner Wellfleet, built by
Cobb, Butler & Co., of Rockland, for
parties in Massachusetts, was launched
Saturday noon, in the presence of about
5000 spectators. 1t was the first launch
which has taken place at Rockland, for
seven years and shipping men were
present from miles around. AS the
craft left the stocks bevy of Rockland
maidens sprinkled flowers over the bow
and scores of steam whistles added to
the din of welcome. immediately after
the launching Cobb, Butler & Co., began
work on a new four masted schooner of
IT'S tons for Boston parties, which will
be launched early in the summer.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08
Canaan.

Mrs, F. d. Getchell passed one day
last week with Mrs. Fred Holt in Show
hogan.
Miss Nellie Holt of So. Canaan, visit
ed las. week with friends In this place.
Alice Goodrich has recently returned
from Frank Blackwelrs at Pishon's
Ferry, called there by the illness OF
thrir infant daughter, who is now re-
covering.
g. E Farnham, who has been on the
sick list the past week, Is some better.
Mrs. Lucinda Stevens is at home from
Waterville, and Mrs. Noah Kicker, who
aecomp anied her will remain with her
through the spring.
Tuesday evening, Feb. 81, Sabattus
lodge, No. 220, |. o. g. L. at Moore's
Mills, celebrated their 9Th anniversary.
The entertainment consisted of music,
select reading, discussion and several
speeches by members for the good of the
order, at the close of which y fine c0llr-
ion WAS served consisting of ice cream,
cake, oranges and CONNECTIONS and al
though the wea her WAS very cold very
nice time was enjoyed.
The hay press OF Mr.. Cain OF Clinton,
was at work several days last week 10
the barn of |. j. Foster.
Master Percy and Miss Eva Williams
from the village spent last Sunday, with
their grandparents at MoOre's Mills.
Ansel Booker and Charlie Dolly from
Waterville, were in town, Sunday. W.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08

"Hotel men give out that they warn
each other by circulars about dead
BEATS" said the slick looking man with
the high hat, but don't you let that
stop you If you want TO live high for a
week. Few men like to publish the
fact that they have been done up. It's
the easiest thing in the world to beat a
first class hotel All you want is good
suit of clothes and plenty of cheek. a
grip with few shirts and collars is as
good as trunk.
you drive up in style; you register to
get the best room In the house; you
bulldoze the clerks and threaten the
servants. A checkbook is good thing
to show. but you pay for nothing. You
talk In loud voice, y1u make plenty
of kicks, and you order the best wines
for dinner. Lands, but the whole staff
of the house will fall over each other
to make it pleasant for you. You don't
pay the first weeks bill. On the con-
trary, you are indignant and demand
an apology When the second week Is
due. your drafts have not come.
You will be worked out of the house,
but with gentleness and apologies.
They don't want a row. and they don t
want notoriety. You'll be forgiven If
you'll only go. and if you take up your
quarters for the next two weeks right
across the street no one from the hotel
will give you away. When man beats
us, we like to see him beat our neigh
Dor, you know It's nice and genteei
work, with no kicks or hard times. and
there Is ALWAYS room for one more in
the profession. '-Detroit Journal.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08
East SkOwIiegan.

The last storm of Thursday and Friday
was the hardest for breaking roads for
the winter. All the help worked that
were able. Saturday, Sunday and Mon
day to open the road from the school
house in No IL to the Canaan stage road.
Sunday the crust had to be cut with an
axe.
Ernest Holt, grandson of A. Richard
son, made him a short visit, last week,
and took the train, Tuesday p. m, for
Auburn, and at II o'clock p. m, took the
train for Taunton, Mass. He works in
the Mason Machine Works, manufac-
turers of cotton machinery and the shops
employ about / 800 hands.
The school in district No. IL. taught
by Mrs. w. E. Briggs, closed, Feb
ruary 27th. Pupils not absent one
half day during the term were: Leon
Rowe, Ray Richardson Those not tardy
during the term were: Nina Holt, Leon
Rowe. Wallace Campbell. Herbert Lyon
and Ray Richardson. The following are
names of pupils who received diplomas OF
honor for excellence in recitations and
department and regularity Of attendance :
r ,se Coombs, Nina Holt, Leon Rowe,
Herbert Lyon and Ray Richardson. Ga
Washington's birthday the following pro-
gramm. was carried out: Song. My
Country, by the school; Tribute to Wash
ington. by the school; class exercise ;
The birthday of Washington honoIed,
Nina Holt, Amy Jennings, Eva Webber ;
recitation, Arnold or Washington, Alton
Savage; song, Our Banner, by tn. school;
essay, Life OF Washington, Leon Rowe ;
recitation, The truthful boy, Ray Richard
son; song, Sailor Boys. the school
reading Washipgton's Birthday, WILDER
Richardson; recitation, Our flag, Gladys
Weber; class exercises, February 22d,
Alton Savage, Roy Malbon. Herbert
Lyon; song, A true Soldier, by the
school; recitation, Three cheers for the
olden time, Nina Holt; recitation, The
good old time. Alton Savage; recitation,
Birthday of Washington. v ose Coombs
closing song, America, by the school
We have every reason to believe tina the
school taught in this district by Mrs,
Briggs has been profitable term for all
the pupils attending. A K.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08
Won't Cure Everything,
But Dr.. Ksnnedy's Favorite Remedy
viii Cure You II You Suffer
from Diseases Of the Kid
neys, Liver, Bladder
or Blood.
Thirty Years Of Cures to Its Credit.
Triai Bottle Free.

Kidney diseases should be attended
to at once for almost 90 per cent of our
unexpected deaths of today are from
that cause. DR.. David Kennedy's Fa-
vorite Remedy is the only sure cure
known for diseases of the Kidneys,
Liver, Bladder ami Blood, Rheumatism,
Dyspepsia and hronic Constipation. 1t
il marvellous how it stops tn 1t pain in
the back, relieves the necessity of uri
mating 80 often at night, drives away
that scaldng pain in passing water,
cOrrects the bad effects of whlskey and
beer and shows it's beneficial effects on
the system in an increditabiy short time
1t is sold by all drug stores at 81 90 a
bottle
You can tell just as well as physician
whether your Kidneys are diseased or
healthy. Fill tumbler with urine and
let it stand "a hours; If 1T has sedi-
ment, if II is milky or cloudy, discolored
or pale; If it is ropy or stripgy. your
Kidneys and Bladder are in a dangerous
condition and you do not need ply
Bician to tell you so.
If you would like to test Favorite
Remedy free of all charge send your full
name and post,ffice address to the DR.
David Kennedy Corporation, Rondout,
N. Y, and a free trial bottle, together
with a pamphlet of valuable medical
advice, will be sent you postpaid, pro.
vided you mention this paper when you
write. The publishers of this paper
guarantee the genuineness of this Offer
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08
STATE AND GENERAL.

The total government receipts for
February were $45, 1881, 265 and the ex-
penditures $37, 1913, 472, leaving surplus
for thu month of ST 1892, 793. During the
las. eIgh, months the total receipts have
exceeded the expenditures by $37, 1888, 600.
A passenger train south bound on the
Northampton division of the New ork,
New Haven & Hartford, went through
a washout about two miles north of
Plainville, Conn, Thursday evening, and
four persons were killed and seven more
or less injured.
congressman G. A. Boutelle has so
far recovered from his recent illness,
which made it necessary to send him to
Boston for treatment, that he has decid-
ed to seek re election. His brother has
announced the candidacy of the Con
gresham for denomination and re-elec-
ton"
Cecil Leslie, who was private secre-
tary and press agent to w. F. Miller of
the BY indicate, Brooklyn. was arrested at
Cleveland, O., Thursday night He
denied completely in the swindling oper-
atoms, claiming that he only acted as
advertising manager for Miller.
The schooner Helen w. Martin which
was launched, Saturday, in Bath, was
christened with roses by Miss Helen W.
Martin, daughter of John Martin of
Gloversville, N. Y. Mayor Parkhurst
and party from Gloversville were pres
emit. A banquet at New Meadows Inn
followed the launching.
Mrs. Helen NJ. Leigh, formerly resi-
dent of Hallowell, was burned to death
at Chelsea, Mass, Tuesday of last week,
as result of her clothing having caught
fire while endeavoring to thaw out
frozen water pipe. Her remains were
brought to Hallowell, Tuesday, where
the lntermeDt was made.
The Portland Iron & Steel Co, has
been organized to operate the plant to
be erected on the site of the Portland
rolling mills, which were burned several
months ago. The work of rebuilding
the plant will be begun Immediately,
and it is expected that the works will be
in operation early in May. Employment
will be given to 80 men,
The American Ice Company complet-
ed another important purchase of ice
property at Bangor, Saturday, when it
bought the big plant of d. Sargents
Sons in South Brewer, including the
houses, machinery and 5000 tons of ice
on hand, besides 5000 more to be har-
vested. This Is the fourth plant which
the company has purchased on the Pc
nobscot river within a week. The sale
Of the Sargent plant stipulates that the
houses shall be removed from their
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08
A Three cornered War.

When Colonel Cartwell was military
governor of Norfolk under the Confed-
eracy in 1862. he ordered the British
consul to report for duty on the home
guard. To this the Englshman object
ed on the ground of being consul At
Norfolk.
80 what government asked Colo
mel Cartwell
ITO the United States government. "
was the reply.
But you are in the Confederate
states. and you must show papers ac-
crediting you to the Confederate States
of America" said the colonel.
"But my government doesn't recog-
nlze you as a government" said the
consul.
VERY well. them my government
doesn't recognize you as consul.
briskIy retorted Colonel Cartwell.
shoulder your musket and join your
company"
At this the peacefully disposed con-
sui threatened to have gunboat come
and lombard the place before he would
serve.
That's Just what I'd like to see, !"
returned the colonel cheerily, "for then
the United States will fight you, as she
claims that Norfolk Is still part of the
Union, and between England and the
United States fighting we shall go
free"
At last the consul appealed to Mr.
BENJAMIN, the Confederate secretary
of war, who ordered his exemption
from military duty, and the three
cornered war" so desired by Colonel
Cartwell never came TO pass.-Yoush' s
Companion.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08
West Athens.

Perry and Lester Corson and Isaac
Salley returned home, Sunday, from the
woods where they have been at work for
.ongley.
Mr.. Leonard Bowden, who has been
visiting relatives and friends started for
Providence, r. l., Friday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph Leavitt and Miss
Berdena Brown Of So. Scion, were 10
town, Tuesday.
Mrs. T. M. Gray Is on the sick list
Miss Grace Butler, who has been at
Cornville, most Of the winter has re-
turned home.
Mr. and Mrs. B. A. Webb, Miss Flora
Corson and Mr.. Myrick went to West
Troy, Tuesday.
Mrs. w. NJ. Young is on the sick list.
Fred Butler of Cornville, was in town,
Wednesday.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08
New Gymnasium.

The erection OF drill hal and gymna-
stun at the University OF Maine from
funds raised by subscriptions from the
trustees, faculty, alumni students and
friends of the institution is now assured.
A meeting of the board OF trustees WAS
held 10 the office Of Director Wood Of
the experiment station on the campus,
Friday, and the subscription list having
reached over $4,000, the proposed project
WAS made a surety and plans OF arch-
tects for the new building were consid
cred. A committee was appointed
consisting of President Henry Lord,
Secretary William +. Haiues and Hon.
E. B. Wiuslow to make the def lite 81 :
lection of an architect and arrange for q
modification of the plans to meet the
requirements. 1t is proposed to build
the walls of brick with stone trimmings
and erect neat aud servjceable struc-
ture TO cost about $40 900. IL Is quite
possible that the size of the building
NAV be somewhat reduced but the gen
eral plan frat suggested will be adhered
To, aeout 120 ny so feet, one story ana
basement aud fiGed up with one or more
recitation rooms, an armory, a Baseball
cage, bath rooms and lockers in the
ba spment aud running track and gallery
around the main room OF the building.
The hearty response with which the
calls for subscriptions from alumni and
friends has been met has been extremely
gratifying 10 the trustees and il is Ms.
sur, d that the amount of money for the
building Will be forthcoming by the time
1t is completed. The student body has
contributed very generously, their SUBJ
scriptions having In many cases been
arranged TO be Distribute through their
college course. making the separate pay
ments very easy TO meet.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08

eyes" said noted detective, IL have
seen a great many queer things in my
experience"
discovered a good many gigantic
frauds, | supposeY ventured an ad-
mirer.
well. | should say So" was the re-
ply But. between you and me, the
most complete piece of deception |
ever saw was a woman, young. pretty
and / would have sworn. an angel"
But she wasn't?"
81 should say not. She has a temper
like a whirlwind. and when she gets
wild the very earth seems to shake"
"Good gracious. And how did you
manage to discover her true charac
terT'
"Well. I-ahem! The fact Is, | mar
ried herr
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08
A Fiendish Attack.

An attack was lately made on Q. F.
Collier of Cherokee, Iowa, that nearly
proved fatal 1t came through his kid
neys His back got so lame he could
not stoop without great pain nor sit in a
chair except propped by cushions. No
remedy helped him until he tried Elec-
trio Btters which effected such won,
derful change that he writes he feels
like a new man. This marvellous medi-
cine cures backache and kidney trouble,
purifies the blood and builds up your
health. Only soc
Aft H. Wings Drug Store.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08

Milk Dealer-What did you say to
Mrs. Sharpe yesterday when you call
ed for her money?
Overwhelming particular. Why?
Milk Dealer-She's sent word that
she don't want us to serve her any
more. You must have said something
to offend her.
Driver-No. | didn't. | simply asked
her for the money for the weeks milk.
She says, YOU'D better chalk 1t up"
and | says. I'VE do that already
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1900-03-08

After session lasting all night, it was
announced Wednesday of last week,
that the regular ticket of the Empire
State Society of the Sons of American
Revolution had won. The regular
ticket was headed by Robert Is Roose-
welt and the opposition by Gen. Horatio
G. King The opposition charged I'M
due extravaganza in maintaining head
quarters and in getting out expensive
year books, gifts and testimonials