davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08
MURPHY WAS MUCH PUZZLED.
He Managed to Give Satisfactory AR-
BWeEH to the QuestlOnH,
However.

One of the New York enumerators called
on an old Irishman who had his name, Muir
ply, chalked upon his door. He was very
much p~erplexed, although he had been
in the country long enough to go through
several censuses.
""The cinsis? " he exclaimed suspicious
". "Phwat is ut?"
I told him that it was a record Of the tribe
of Murphys in the United States that was
being prepared for the government, where
at he was greatly fattered, and wanted to
tell me his family history as far back as he
knew it. His memory, however, was defec-
tive, especially as to dates.
"'The year NV me burrth?" he repeated,
scratching his head. "Sure an l don't know
al all, at all" Then, after rejecting awhile
he frightened up and said: Sure, an it
wuz the year the crops failed in Ireland"
"'Was it in '37?" l suggested, at a ven
ture. He looked to be about 60.
Faith an it was that very year" he re-
piled, and I let it go at that.
He had forgotten, too, the year Of his ar
rival in America; 'but I reminder that Hor-
ace Greeley was runnin' for president at the
tonne" he said.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

Many delightful summer resorts are sit
uated on and reached via Southern Rail-
way. Whether one desires the seaside or
the mountain, the fashionable hotels or
country homes, they can be reached via this
magnificent highway of travel.
Asheville, N. c., Hot Springs, N. c., Hale
Springs, Tenn, Roam Mountain, Tenn, and
the Mountain resorts Of East Tennessee
and Western North Carolina-"The Land
Of the Sky"-Tate Springs, Tenn, Oliver
Springs, Tenn, Lookout Mountain, Tenn,
Monte Sano, Huntsville, Ala Lithia
Springs, Ga, and various Virginia springs;
also the seashore resorts, are reached by
the Southern Railway on convenient sehed-
ules and very low rates.
The Southern Railway has issued a
handsome folder, entitled Summer Homes
and Resorts" descriptive Of nearly one
thousand summer resorts, hotels and board
ing houses, including information regard
ing rates for board at the different places.
Write to G. a. Benscoter, Assistant Gen
eral Passenger Agent, Southern Railway,
Chattanooga, Tenn, for a copy Of this
folder.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

"DEAR Mrs. PNKHAM:-Iwas sickfor
two years with falling of the womb, and
inflammation of the ovaries and bladder.
/ was bloated very badly. Myleftl limb
would swell so 1 could not step on my
foot. Ihad such bearing down pains I
could not straighten up or walk across
the room and such shootingpains would
go through me that 1 thought 1 could
not standit. Mymother got me a bottle
of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound and told me to try it. Itook six
bottles and now, thanks to your won
derful medicine, I am a well woman. "
-MRs. ELSIE BRYAN, Otisville, Mich.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08
The merits Of the preparations Of the J.

The merits Of the preparations Of the J..
g. G. MAGUIRE MEDICINE COMPANY
of st. Louis, Mo. are beyond all question.
This firm has succeeded in furnishing the
Army and Navy. They went into business
in 1841, and have steadily grown in favor
with the public, not having one failure to
report in ~ifty-nine yearsl Their Benns
Plant, CUndurangO, etc.B have become a
household word. They are sold by all drug
gists. Ask for booklet free, Rndi you ever
get Diarrhea, Dysentery or ChOlera-MOrbus,
give the Benne Plant a trial, and you win be
convinced. Every article made by the
Mcguire Medicine Company is guaranteed
to do what is claimed for it.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08
] how Mandy Higgins' baby is?"

"HHVb you nHu NOW Manuyd BIny baby IS
ooh, shes better and jsta IS clean and get as any baby ever was"
"Wes Pm mighty glad to heTit It's boutH the poor little ca hd ZONE rest. tell
yl whatbb is, if Mandy had washed it's head with CUrWRA SOAR fH6fa and put on some Curl
CA Ointment when hr babys head began to etC usRd, she'd have saved herself heaps of trouble,
and the poor little kid would have been a different being. Think of de days. md nights AIandys
walked the floor with atb baby. amt gotno kind Of patience with people tath las to be- told
about thing hundred time before they begin Ito believe in the virtue Of it.
"NOW, told Mandy oen the weeks ago about UuUHA Soar, and she knew lust as well
as you do liz that we'd used it heeg going on five years or more, and that none of our family ever
had apmpR, or any kind of hntfon of hes since we first begun using it. She was that con-
soap and mi Of the ointment from our box.
But low seo comes heeaoOut every day to thank me- Facts, the youngsters head is as
clean as a W1sd@ and her skin is lsts pretty as you ever see on any baby"
MSTagSS1M %hga~ %%MSa warm bath IN oqgAe soar and angen dgmgyh ornURA the great hnOm
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES TmEOf ae ya1of suffering @hIdb y@a neglect o%S@@ Sn&ad &S@dT
opa&$%&$%S %ma &$%&% A%"@' O""F% "A@-na
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

One of these girls sat in a hammock on
a Hollywood piazza when a summer boy
in a gray suit came along. He looked un'
happy.
The girl looked at him frivolously, and
spied a button of a pastel shade in his
lapel.
you a son of something or other?"
"NO," he answered, shortly. I've Joined
q Don't Worry club"
"When did you ioin?" she asked.
'"The day after / met you" he rejotned,
cleverly.-ChiCagO Times-HeTald.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

"a million Of dollara are spenteveryyearup-
on The. game Of baseball, but as large aa this
sum ia, It cannot begin to.equal the amount
spent BY people ia search of health. There
Is q sure method Of obtaining strength, and
il is not a costly one We urge those who
have spent much and lost hope 70 try Hos
letters Stomach BitterB. it strengthens
the stomach, makes digestion easy and nat
ural, and cures dyspepsia constipation biz
iopsnees and weak kidneys.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08
M etamorphosed.

It takes only little thing in a translation
asked the pundit to put into the Indian
vernacular the good old hymn: "Rock Of
ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in
thee" was taken off his feet when be heard
his converts singing with pious fervor:
Very old stone, split for my benefit, let
me get under one of your fragments."-
San Francisco Wave.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08
Pretenne III tn Contentn.

"Jedge," said Mr. Zeke Darkleigh, ri
wants to hab dishyere Gabe Snowflake
arrested. He done sol me er kaig er beer
en- day amt muffin in the kaig but rain.
watch"
"AIl right" replied the Judge, "you want
to swear out a warrant charging him with
obtaining money under false pretenses,'
'No, sub. 1 want dat niggah sent up fo'
'tainin' money undeh false c~ontentses
OATS what, dge."-Baltimore American
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

"What Is a furlough?' asked a teacher.
ut means a horse, was the reply Of Mary.
ooh, no." replied the teacher. 1T doesn't
mean a horse Indeed, it does said
Mary. Il have a book at home that says
so" "WeH," said the teacher, now thor
oughly interested, you may bring the
book to school and wen see about il" The
next day Mary brought the book, and in
some triumph opened to a page where there
was a picture Of a soldier riding a horse.
Below the picture we're the words; Go
ing home on his hrlough." - Pearson'l
Weekly.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08
Bod for the RoMeLa.

No matter what ails you, headache to a
cancer, you will never get well until your
bowels are put right. Cascarets help nature,
cure you without a grippe or pain, produce
easy natural movements, cost you just 10
cents to start getting your health back!
Cascarets Candy Cathartic, the genuine, put
up in metal boxes, every tablet has @. @, @.
stamped on it. Beware of limitations.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08
no Your Feet Ache ana Burnt

Shake into your shoes, Aliens Foot-Ease,
a powder for the feet. It makes tight or New
Shoes Feel Easy. Cures Corns, Itching,
Swollen, Hot, CalloUs, Smarting, Sore and
Sweating Feet. All Druggists and Shoe
Stores sell it, 25c, Sample sent FREE. Ad-
dress, Allen S. Olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08
80 d q.
Crashi

OEUlUI
There came the sound Of falling dishes
from the kitchen. The cook appeared at
the dining-room door.
"Plaze, mum" she said, "the whole az
your besht dinner set is broken fwhoile Oh
wuz Washin' it"
The housewife Wept.
"B'geel" said her husband, %if the pow
ers could only get that girl, the job Of
IN. Y. World.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

to h tbe widow. hsi goDe br %epf V syggp stPq
and good advice; others brought mate
rial cheer, food, raiment and the like. Still
others, and these were the most consider
ate of all, came and told her how that she
had aged ten years in the three weeks since
her husbands death. How good of them!"
exclaimed the widow, and wept tears of
gr8titude.-Detroit journal.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

First Attorney-"Did you furnish any
him lime" Second Attorney (objecting)-
Chats not material" First Attorney
ct is material" Second Attorney-"Not
material" Judge-"I understand lime 10
3 building material" Second Attorney
"Your honor, it's the question that's not
material" Judge-"Oh!' Indianapolis
News.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

It is one Of the mysteries that a man who
has given his heart unreservedly to a wom-
an, still has the heart to refuse her a new
hat.-Detroit journal.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

What was the trouble at that house
where the complaint came from yester-
dRy?" asked the superintendent Of the gas
company. Nothing much" replied the
inspector, 81 found a cent;pede in one Of
the pines" "Ahi an extra hundred feet.
See that they're charged for that."-Phila-
delphia Press,
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

What kind Of a house did you succeed
in getting, Howard" ooh, it's the kind
Of a house which has windows that won't
stay open and doors that won't stay shut
indianapolis journal.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

Mrs. Yung Wife-You are sure there are
eve pounds Of sugar in this package? IL
seems very light.
Grocer-That, madam, Is because it is
entirely free from sand-Boston Tran
Bnript.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

my wife," boosted the happy young
benedict, "is an open book to me" mime,
too" declared the old married man. "I
can't shut her p."-Philadelphia Press.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

Try YuCatan Chill Tonic O~uapFOvedl.
Superior to all the so-called t]asteless tonics.
Acceptable to the most delicate stomach.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

I do not believe Piso's Cure for Consump-
ton has IN equal for coughs and colds
John F. Boyer, Trinity Springs, Ind, Feb.
Is, 1900.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

PUTNAM FADELEss DYES produce the fast
est and brightest colors Of any known dye
stun Sold by all druggists.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

A man has good luck enough when hrs
daughters marry, if he doesn't have to
send out relief expeditions to them every
few months-Atchison Globe.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08
Length q Engiish Roigns

The average duration Of the reign.
81 English monarebs fer the last 500
gpars bas bees 21years.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

The Best Prescription for ChillB
and Fever Is a bottle OF GROVE's TAsTELEss
CHILL Tonic. tits simplyironand quininein
atasteless form. M curs-nOpaY. Price,50c.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

A chorus girl is like a house-the older
sac gets the more paint she nseds.-TOwa
Topics.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

The Advertising Trait.-"That actress
eyes are like diamonds" ooh, no; she
wouldn't want to lose them."-Philadel-
mia Bulletin.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

"Oh, how / delight" said the Moth, as
he attacked she very old trousers, ito be
in the thickest of the frayl"-Detroit Jour
nal
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

It is impossible to please your friends; if
you say agreeable things to them you are ac-
cused of insincerity; if you say disagreeable
things they get mad.-AtchisOn Globe.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

Have you ever experienced the joyful sen.
satiOn Of a good appetite? You will if you
chew Adams Pepsin Tutti Fruit.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

A parlor match is often the result, rattle
than the precursor, Of a steady fame
indianapolis News.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

It is surprising, sometimes, how a man
that is way off gets on. - indianapolis
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

Aboy in the family always comes MANDY
when the pie left over isn't enough to save.
-AECnlsOu UIUbGs
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

Many an illiterate man is able to make hii
dollar mark.-Chicago Daily News.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

A practical joke should be handled %
cautiously as a double barreled gun.-Ateh-
icon Globe.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

Some men are so stingy they refuse to
smile except at the expense Of others.-Chi.
cago Daily News.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

To Cure q Cold In One Day
Take Laxative BrOmO Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund mOneyifitfails to cure. Csc.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08
AecordlnE b ~ Creed.

She-Do you believe that every man gets
the wife that Heaven intended for him?
Hell dare not doubt it; otherwise my
religious belief would be shattered.
what is your belief, pray?'
II believe that men are punished in this
world for their sins."-Chicago Evening
News,
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

TnnteleBB T0nic1 Are UnReilabIes
Try Yucatsn Chill Tonic (improved)
Each dose contains the same proportion Of
medicine. No shaking required. Price, 80
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

Minds Of steel are often narrowed down
that they may have a cutting edge.--Ram's
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

Give a pig plenty Of milk and It will max,
hog Of itself.-ChicagO Daily News.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

The good Samaritan does not carry oil
in his cruise and vitriOl on his tongue
Ramle Horn
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

The hen IS q liberal fowl; she gives
peck when che take5a geain-Chicaeo Daily
New.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

HALLS CatRFFh Cure
L q Constitutional Cure. Price, 75c.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08
The Grand Trunk Railway System

For fares, descriptive literature, and gem
eral information apply to j. II. Burgis, City
Passenger and Ticket Agent, 249 Clark St.,
corner Jackson Boulevard, Chicago.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

Did You Ever Run Across
an old, ietter-ink all faded out? Couldn't
have been Carriers Ink for it doesn't fade.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

better. "-MRs. MARY SMITH, Arlington,
Iowa.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

WHEN WRITING TO ADwERTHgERB
please state that yen saw he AdVeEtlsos
ment In this BuDers
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-09-08

Il had started out With ten dol
lars and a top coat worth $40 at the
latter end of my life on the Bowery.
Ipawned the coat for two dollars. So
after my five weeks experience / sti"
had 62 cents left as pocket money
when 1 secured my present position.
"0f course some can and do live
cheaper on the Bowery than did, but
I paid my way and considering the
money spent I lived in comparative
luxury"
It was only a few years ago that
the narrator Of the above experience
was living on the BoweTy. Now he is
a lawyer, comfortably located as an.
assistant in a large law Office, and the
80 cents a day he spent while living
on the Bowery would now barely sup
ply him with coffee and rolls in the
morning-N. Y. Times.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1900-02-16
THE JUDGES TURKISH BATH
1t Was Very Vigorous, and He Found
Out Why.

1t Was Very Vigorous, and He Found
Out Why.
The Judge had never taken Turkish
bath, but he was not feeling his best
that morning, and 1t suddenly occurred
to him to test its vivifying effects, so
enthusiastically descanted upon by his
young friends.
1t seemed to othe Judge that the rub
ber was terribly rough. but fearing to
expose his inexperience and subiea t
himself to ridlcule by objectng to the
regular treatment, he patiently endured
being punched, pummeled. slapped,
spanked, whacked aud poked until he
could not stand the torture a moment
longer.
"ls-it-qui-te-nec eS-sary-to-make
-me-bla-ack-and 80 blue 49, all 49, ov-
ver?" painted the Judge, as irregularly
as the rubber dug his fists in more or
less vigorously.
Never YOU mind; I'm fiXin' YOU" re.
sponded the rubber redoubllng his as
saults and grlnnlng dlabollcally-at
least so II seemed to the Judge.
"Who slap, groanl are Cthud. groanD
you" gaspcd the Judge. horrible sus.
picion dawning In his mind Your
(whack, groam face Chump, groam
does (whack, groanl look (slap, groan
fa - thud, groan) - miliar" (swish.
groan).
"Oh, you remember me. do youY"
III - ~
"Wcll, lash yer old hide, mebbe you'd
like to send me up for six months again
for prizs-iigh ghtinw-Harper's Magazine.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1900-02-16

ly entering into the spirit Of the other.
"and, of course, you expect to pay for
it?''
"Yes, yes" returned Campos with are
eagerness he could not conceal "41h
pay for it-zomething, and then he
fixed his eyes on the fifty-dollar bill
lying on the desk: He looked al it So
steadfastly that Ludlow scarcely
could restrain a smile, and for fear OF
embarrassing the visitor he, too look
ed down, and for the first time appear
ed to see it. Then. as though on the
impulse Of the moment, and in order
to show Campos that he understood
and was appreciative, he inquired:
do you smoke, senor?" -
"Yes, Zheneral," Campos answered,
thinking, too, that things were coming
his way in great shape, 81 smoke come
time" 49,. ~ - bi'..'ii ,5.cNa ;slf
"Have cigar" and Ludlow handed
over a box of fine Ha.vanas. These are,
said to be excellent" !" ~.'..r' -
Campos took one; so did'Ludyo%. FFhc
American then picked up the .ifty. and,
as he rolled it idly into a, long, thin
taper, he remarked: 'Senor like
these, and like all kinds of money.
Have light"
Ludlow struck a match, and as
Campos made ready to receive it the
officer lit the fifty-dollar paper and
handed it to his caller. Yes, like this
paper money" continued the Anteri
can, nonchalantly. ''it makes such cou-
venlent cigar lighters" -.
Campos' hand trembled as he lit. his
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1900-02-16
HOW TO SAVE TWO DAYS ON EUROPEAN MAI1SSp.eIN.1DA4
shape their business by European ad-

shape their business by European ad-
vice. ~-.---'-' --- 49,
The scheme referredfo comprehends
the building of-eignty ty-six miles of rail
road from Louisburg to Hawkesbury,
n. s. Iom this point an excellent rail
-Road connection may be made to United
States points. Louisburg is the most
easterly port in Nova Scotia, and is a
well-sheltered harbor, which does not
freeze in winter time.
The distances from Louisburg to New
York via the Montreal route over the
Canadian Pacific, as figured by an Off
cial of that road, are as follows:
Louisburg to Hawkesbury, SO miles.
Hawkesbury to st. John, 33S miles.
st. John to Montreal, 4S1 miles.
Montreal to New York, 1856 miles.
Adding the ocean distance from Liv-
erpool to Louisburg gives total Of
$3.50 miles.
The distances via Boston to New
York are reckoned as follows:
Louisburg to Hawkesbury, SO miles.
Hawkesbury to st. John, 33S miles.
st. John to Boston, AS miles.
Boston to New York, 233 miles.
Adding to this the ocean distance of
2,24O miles makes total of 3,345 miles,
and almost 200 miles in favor of the
Boston route.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1900-02-16
The Bit + Bit.

One day a detective was in an auc-
tion room where flake" jewelry was
being sold. A lot of watches were Of
fered-cheap, worthless affairs, but got,
up to look like solid gold. They were
knocked down for two dollars and fif-
teen cents apiece, and the detective
noted that they were bought by con-
fidence man who had given the police
n lot of trouble. Two months later the
detective met him and asked what he
had done with the watches. The scoun-
drel explained his scheme. He had
hired room, put In a desk and few
chairs, and made himself up to look
like an old man. Then he inserted an
advertisement in various papers, some
thing like this: "Found-A solid gold
watch-Elgin works. Apply" etc.
Nearly every smart thief in town an
swered the advertisement, claimed the
watch and paid ten dollars for costs"
In two days he disposed of his entire
stock in this way, and about one hun
dred smart thieves We're fuming over
their loss.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1900-02-16
EuROPE'S EMIoRANTS.
When Successful Here They Quickly
Become Americans.

When Successful Here They OuicklJ
Become Americans.
l have remarked, for my part, says
a writer in the Revue Bleue, that the
AmericaniZation of the European emi.
grant is the result of success; the man
who succeeds becomes American with
a facility truly prodigious, but he who
fails remains European.
Thus it is that certain part of Chi.
cagO constitutes n veritable interna-
tional sink where the French, the
Swedes, the Germans, the Slavs, the
Italians, dwell in groups, retaining in
their misery the distinctive marks of
their nationality, the language and the
habits of their races.
On the other hand, the Americaniza-
ton of the others is perhaps not sc
complete at bottom as it is in appear.
ance. The future alone can tell. 1t re-
mains true, none the less, that in a sim
gle generation Europe seems to have
lost all influence over the sons of those
who have abandoned her to fix them
selves in the new world, and who have
been able to make any position for
themselves there, however modest.
There is in the air they breathe, in the
life they live, something which takes
their youth, their enthusiasm, and inoc.
ulates it in some way with all the her
editary American possessions and
ideas. The fact is very curious, and
certainly, to this degree, it is unique
How could it fail to act powerfully OF
the imagination of a people already
given to believe itself placed above all
others?