The Saint Paul globe., 1900-02-11

vices that will give them tn chanst f'r
to wear out their good clothes 'Tis
horrible situation. Riley, tn contractor,
dhropped in here tn other day in his
horse an buggy on his way to tn dhfain-
age canal, an he was all wurruked up
over tn question.
why he says, it's scand' 'lous tn
way servants act he says. Mrs. Riley
has Mysteries, he says. An ivry two or
three nights whin come home, he says,
I have to win a fight again cook
with a stove lid before I can move me
family off tn fr-ront stoop,' he says.
We threat thin we'll too, he says L
gave tn las wan we had fifty cints an
a cook book at Chris mas, an tn mex
day she left befure breakfast he says.
What naytionalties do We hire? says [.
I've thried thin ALL he says. am he
says, I'll say this in shame. he says,
that th' Irish ar-re tn worst he says.
Well says I, we need have no shame.
/ says, FIR It's ony tn people that ar-re
good servants thatll niver be masthers,
I says. 'Th' Irish ar-re no good as serv-
ants because they ar-re too good, says.
'Th' Dutch ar-re no good because they
amt good enough No matther how they
start they get tn noodle habit. | had
wan wanst, an, she got SO she put moo
dies in me tay,' / says. 'Th Swedes ar-re
all right, but they always get marrid tn
sicond day. Yell have polisman at
tn dure with a warrant FIR tn artist
iv ye'er cook IL ye hire Boheemyan,'
1 says. .Coons'd be all right, but they'er
liable FIR to hand ye ye'er food in rag
time an If ye ordher pork-chops FIR din
ner an tn hall is long. It's little ven
have to eat wilin tn piatter's set down..
I says. NO says 1, 'they'se no naytion-
aIity now livin' in this country that're
natural ber-rn servants, says l.
IF ye want to save throubie, says,
sye'1l import ye'er help They'se race
iv people livin' in Cinthrah Africa that'd
be JUS r-right. They niyer< sleep they
can carry twice their weight on their
backs, they have no rPnds. they wear
no clothes, they can't read, they can't
dance an they don't dhrink. Th' fact Is
they're thoroughly oneddycated. IL ys
cud taehe thin to cook an take care iv
chfldher they'd be tn best servants
says T. AN what dye call thim? says
he. 1f'rget,' says I. An he wint away
mad" y
..Sure an he's a nice man TO be talkin
iv servants" says Mr.. Hennessy He
was a gintieman's man In tn OF conn-
thry, an / used to know his wife Whin
she wurruked FIR
"S-sh," said Mr. Dooley. They're be-
You'd that now Besides they speak firm
experyence An mebbe that's tn
throuble. We're always harder with our
own kind sin with others. Tis that'd
be tn fine nsor iv bartinder's wurruk.
Th' more yA ought to be a servant ye'er-
sflf tn harder It's FIR we to get along
with servants. 1 can holler TO amy man
firm tn top iv buildin' an make him
turin r-round, but If 1 come down to tn
sthreet where he can see l amt amy
bigger thin he is. an holler at him, It's
twinty to wan If he TURNS r-round he'll
hit me in tn eye.
1--WE have a servant girl problem be-
cause, Hinnissy 1T isn't nanny years since
we first begun to have servant girls. But
I hope congress II take 1t up. A smart
congress like TIL wan we have now ought
to be able to spare a little time firm its
preparation iv new jims iv speech f'r tn
third reader an rig up bill that'd make
keepin' house recreation while so soft
enin' tn spirit iv tn naughty sign iv a
noble race in tn kitchen that cceiSfn'
buckwheat cakes on hot day with tn
aid iv a bottle iv smekeless powdher'd not
cause her FIR to sind a worthy man to
his Office In slippers an without hat.
..Ah," said Mr.. Hennessy, the simple
Democrat. 'It wud be all Fright IL wom-
end do their own cookn'."
ssWell," said Mr.. Dooley, 'twud be
return to Jacksonyan simplicity. an
twud be gr-reat thing FIR th' RESTRAINT
business"