The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-11-14

since he learned who his dis .lngulSneQ
guest was, said he would like to make
slight request before the visitor depart
ed.
Couldn't We he said. with evident
anxiety couldn't We jest make my wife
an me a little speech before leavin US?
Down town there's Il small shop kept
by willy Oriental, says the Washing
ton Post A woman | know went into
it the other day and asked TO be shown
some multi-colored silk scarfs. The
salesman piled them high on the counter,
and the customer selected one. When
she spread it out at home she found a
hole in it, and back she posted to the man
who had sold it to her.
See here!' she said, There's a hole
il this scarf"
The Oriental put on an air of benevo-
lent dignity quite impossible to a native
of the Occident.
An, yes, madam" said he. ''but it is
no matter. | shall charge YOU nothing
extra for that
mo the purchaser was half way home
with the imperfect scarf i'll her hand be-
fore she recovered from the spell of his
magnificent manner
.Ipnes-'You say you saw. everything
in Rome in three days. That's imposs-
be-
Smith-"But you must remember that
there were three of us. My wife took
the churches, l visited all the picture
galleries. and my son went for the res
taurants and cafes. Then we met in
the evening and exchanged experiences"
-TitBits.
An old lady went to a station a 1t lc
way out Of the city and asked when the
next train would 60 to Glasgow, relates
the SEQ fish American. "Tweivefftecn,
said the ticket clerk. 1t was then 8 Il.
m. Shortly afterward the woman came
again and asked the same question. Same
reply. III 10 o'clock the same question,
same answer, and so a intervals Of thir
ty minutes until | 1 80. Then the man
was veXed.
Madame" he said, mo train will pass
this station-eXpress, passenger or goods
to Glasgow or from Glasgow until
1915"
oh" responded the old lady. much re-
lieved, then / think III be safe to gang
across he line"
''Onc hundred twos?' said the postof-
flee clerk. Yes, a'am.''
And charge them to MIR. Newliwed,
No. fill"
Sorry, ma am,' interrupted the clerk,
but we can't do that"
claimed Indignantly. my husbands
we always get our letters from your
Philadelphia Press.
$50 yoH reject me.'' the young la wye
said. rather bitterly. Il wonder if it
would do any good to appeal the case to
your father"
She shook her head.
There is no appeal from my decision"
she replied. Il am what you call the
court of last resort
But l cannot give up the case in this
way he exclaimed.
She dug the sand with the point of her
parasol.
Mr. Braxton," she said. softly. might
YOU not ask for a new l?"-Chicago
Tribune.
The class was having lessons in natur-
al history, and the teacher asked: Now,
is there anybody here can tell me what
a zebra it?" Tommy-"Yes, sir, | can"
Teacher-"Well, Tommy, what is ze-
bra?" Tommy-'Please, sir, zebra is a
donkey with football suit on"'-Tit-
Bits
When Reymini, the famous violnist.
was a young man, he was engaged by
parvenu to play at a dinner, the agree
ment stating that he was to furnish mu-
sic from o'clock till II.
The viOlinist began with an andante
movement from Mozart, composition
which opens very slow and soft.
The host. who knew more of business
than of music and who wanted to get
his moneys worth. turned TO friend
who sat next him:
That's just like those musicians" he
said; Il hired him by the hour, and see
how slow he plays"
Il don't see any sense in these collect
ing fads," said Mr.. Wooph
Nor l." agreed Mr.. Gooph. why,
some of these fellows seem to make
out of the window, and glared at the
rent collector who had just left.-An-
swerS.
A party of visitors on the piazza of the
Profile house were recently discussing the
pronunciation of the word giving the
place and the house its name Some
were for ''Profyle;" others for ''Profeel''
A native mountaineer happening to drive
up, one of the party suggested that they
leave it to him. The others, for fun, con
sented "Wa-al." drawled the native.
true to the Yankee trick of answering Il
question with a question, would We say
TWAS WCOupyle VI IL NUOuppel CnaC yer
had in yer backyard?'
-:O:-
cts kind O. hard" said Farmer Corn
tossel, ito be shet up with rheumatism
when there's SO much conversation goin'
on at the Crossroads hotel"
Can't you talk with your wife,
Not very good. | can't git her to take
no interest in my statements that pros
perity amt gennywine an that us farm
ers is sufferin. She's too busy bastin'
turkeys and fixin' up mince meat, an see
in that we don't get cheated by the COM
mission men. Washington Star.
Miss Stagger-"Your proposal is so un-
expected that | hardly know what to say.
You must give me time to think it over
Mr.. Spooner-"Certainly, Miss Stagger.
that's the way Ive-er-always been ac-
customed to do in cases of this kind >
Harlem Life.
-:O:--
Mr.. Isaacstein-"I sells you dot coat,
my trent, for sayventeen shilling, you
dake him!''
Customer-"I thought, Isaacstein. that
you don't do business ON Saturday. Isn't
this your Sabbath
Mr.. Isaacstein Tin low, reverent tone
of voice)-"My trent, to sell coat like