The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-04
AN ACCOUNTING SITUATION.
The Troubles of a Wan Trying to Re-
enter society.
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer)

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer)
When a man drops out OF society he finds
it difficult to get back again That is.
back again on approximately the same sta
tus as when he went out. This man has
been out Of town part of the time, and
part OF the time his health was poor He S
ali right now. and. in addition, has taken
Oh a good deal Of extra flesh, which
punches itself in the aldermanic regions
The other day his wife who has patient
ly waited for him to get back in late lunch
con condition, said, Now, George. you
must go with me to the McGooglers' to-
night. They are going to have a little
gathering Of friends-it's Jim McGOOgler' s
birthday, and Minnie wants to surprise
him
Cant go without a present" said
George. promptly.
i've fixed that" said his wife. I've
got a nice copy Of Lorna Doone' TO carry
over and it's plenty good enough. Minnie
told me she had neeyr read it"
Why didn't you give them a library
ticket" enquired George. 1T would be
cheaper. and Minnie could read lot more"
But he finally consented to go-he likes
the McGooslers, and along about 1880 he
found himself struggling into his dress
suit
"Jimminy crickets," he suddenly cried.
See this waistband!" 1t lacked two full
inches Of coming together. His wife looked
anxious.
Il could put a " in the back" she said.
Better make it a w. said George
But l haven't time. Here. I'll rip it
down a little ways and then lace a stout
cord across the opening. Dear. dear. you
ought to train down, or wear an iron hoop,
or something"
That's foolish, my dear" said George.
You're not consulting your own interests.
Just wait until early spring gets here and
you can make a lot Of money renting me
out as a book beer sign. What'n thunder's
the matter with this vest?"
Have you outgrown that, too" groan-
ed his wife.
You've let it hang in some damp place. q"
said George. darkly. and it's shrunk."
Again the scissors came into requisition
slit was cut in the back and George with
a great effort made buttonholes and but
tons come together.
They went to the party. It was Eice
party, but George was i'll at ease. He
shook hands with reluctance and when he
bowed he did it entirely with his head
When Jennie Brinkerhon sang, George was
the only one who didn't applaud. OF
course, he ate little or nothing, although
the luncheon was delightfully."- appel izing,
and when the men got together in a room
upstairs and smoked and told stories.
George never cracked a smile when Jack
Tomlinson related an eXcruciatingly funny
one that he had just heard in Cincinnati.
Pretty soon McGooglor worked his way
around to where George was standing and
gave him a hearty slap on the back.
George went white and shuddered like
wounded thing A safety pin had sprung
open and was burrOwng deep in his back
What is it, old fellow?' cried McGoog-
Ter. You don't seem like yourself Got a
note to meet tomorrow"
NO" said George. 1T isn't debts, it's
rents!"
Well, he finally got home without mis-
hap
Complete surprise wasn't it?" said his
wife.
No" said George, solemnly, q think l
could have added to it,
The next day he left his order for a new
dress suit.