davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-19
THE RAGE TODAY

Isl the Cleaning and Dyeinr also Tho
Laundry work being turned OUT bv 81
fackard's Troy Laundry. 9l2 Prairie Az,
nue.. Phone sS2.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07
The Feminine Observer.

Women desire sympathy; men pre-.
fer help.
What lot of trouble we could avoid
if we only learned not to worryp
The average young man of the day
thinks himself about fifty years ahead
of the times.
Many really worldly women cannot
overcome their nervousness at the ar
rival Of telegram.
1t is either the very young woman
or the one who feels youth creeping
away from her that treasures clip
pings of poetry.
A woman is quick to believe man
cares for her, but man never seems
to be quite convinced that woman
loves him until she wearies him with
hor affection.
A woman can write the most exact.
ing essay in an awfully cramped posi-
ton and with perfect terror of a pen;
a man, on the other hand, must have
the most felicitous environment to be
able to even receipt bill. .-Philadel-
phia Times.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07
A CoMlcAl WORLD. .


sSuch q oomical world" said tho Funny
Man,
And he laughed, "Ha-hal He-hei
How people can keep from Laughing aloud
Is really mystery to me.
snow the sun arises in early morn,
And that ia 80 funny to me;
Why 1t doesn't wait till people are up
Is funny as funny can be.
"And the moon and the stars prowl around
at night
When the people are all In bed;"
And he laughed, "Ha-hal He-hei''
And shook from his toes to his head.
"Why. the brooks are always running
down hill,
And (Which seems so funny to me),
They never climb back, yet never run dry;
Which Is funny as funny can be.
"And another thing that is comical, too,
The rivers run into the sen;
But 1t never runs DER orfuller gets,
which also seems funny to me.
"And the higher you climb up the noun
tain tall,
And the nearer the sum-" said he,
"The colder 1t grows, and that, too, I'm
Is funny as funny can be.
"such a comical world" said the Funny
Man,
And he laughed, cha hal He-hei
How people can keep from laughing aloud
Is really mystery to me-"
Detroit Free Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07

Mrs. Sewell, who is the head of a
classical school for girls in Indianap-
oils, could contribute a readable sequel
to English as she is taught, for the
pupils in girls classical school are
not above the amusing blunders which
characterize the efforts of their young
sisters in the public schools. On one
occasion Mrs. Sewell was instructing
class in physics. Force was the SUBJ
ject, and she made plain to the girls
the difference between centrifugal and
centripetal force. Centrifugal, said
Mrs Sewell, is a force whose direction
is from the center and centripetal is a
force whose direction is toward the
center. Do you all understand that?"
The class chorused assent. Nov. will
some girl give me an illustration ?"
continued Mrs. Sewell. THE domestic
virtues are centripetal," replied a small
girl, because they keep man in the
center of his home, and centrifugal
force is-is-well a saloon is centri-
fugal force. e.''-Phladeiphia Post
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07

A woman who entertains q great
deal tells me that she is heart, brain,
nerve and soul weary of clever people,
and she longs to know somebody who
neither writes, sings, recites, toots,
fiddles, nor even has ideas. She even
proposes toast to the stupid people
who do not intrude, and to those who,
while not stupid, often pretend they
are, for the sake of the quiet and
peace they know you will appreciate.
Cleverness runs in families nowadays.
Even the household baby is hauled
out at deadly night hours to do his
little turn, and the grandmother of
the family is clever. All, rare and
satisfying person to meet is the
family woman who is not clever; who
makes no pretensions to cleverness;
who has not prepared paper on any
OF the burning questions of the hour.
For the sake of the workers in the
great world downtown, let me quaff
who is satisfied to stay at home and
mend the stockings, and make pie
and doughnuts and jelly-cake-
anything, in fact, provided she is con-
tented while she is doing it. Probably
che doesn't talk a great deal, and
doesn't mind if you do not, and
doesn't cherish 1t up against you if
you do not hear what she is saying,
even if you seem to be listening and
are looking right at her. What a
dear, restful soul she isl She knows
good old tried-and-true remedies for
ailments, and she doesn't even ask
whether you want specifics for your
ills or not, but she just claps them
on, or pours them in, aud bustles
around and bangs up things. anS tells
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07


would never have thought of classing
her among the beauties, with shining
black hair, blue, long-lashed eyes, and
a very pretty mouth, hiding teeth like
rice kernels, so white were they.
Miss Mellen rose with a polite nod,
which was grimly reciprocated by Mr.
Deane.
Il have called to see your aunt, Miss
Mellen."
Il know it, sir, but as am aware of
her timid temperament, l sent her
away. prefer to deal with you my
self"
Mr.. Deane started-the cool audacity
of the damsel in gray, with scarlet
ribbons in her hair, rather astonished
him.
Il suppose the money is ready?"
mo, sir, 1t is not"
Then, Miss Olive, pardon me, must
speak plainly. l shall send an officer
here this afternoon to put a valuation
on the furniture, and"
"You will do nothing of the kind,
SIR
olives cheek had redeemed and her
eyes flashed portentously. Mr.. Deane
turned toward the door, but ere he
knew what she was doing, Olive had
walked quietly across the room, locked
the door, and taken out the key-then
she resumed her seat.
What does this mean?" calculated
the astonished prisoner of war"
ut means, sir, that you will now be
obliged to consider the question:" said
Olive.
"Obliged?"
"Yes-you will hardly jump out of
the window, and there is no other
method of egress unless you choose to
go up the chimney. Now, then, Mr..
Deane, will you tell me If you-a Chris
tian man in the nineteenth century
intend to sell poor widows furniture
because she is not able to pay your
rent? Listen, sir!"
Mr.. Deane opened his mouth to re-
monstrate, but Olive enforced her words
with very emphatic little stamp OF
the foot. and he was, as it were,
stricken dumb.
You are what the world calls a
rich man, Mr., Deane. You own rows
of houses. piles of bank stock, railroad
shares, bonds and mortgages-who
knows what? My aunt has nothing; |
support her by copying. Now, if this
case be carried into court of law, my
poor ailing aunt viii be a sufferer
you would emerge unscathed and prof
iting. You are not bad man, Mr..
Deane; you have great many noble
qualities, and like you for them"
She paused an instant and looked in
tently and gravely at Mr.. Deane. The
color rose to his cheek-it was not dis
agreeable to be told by pretty young
girl that she liked him. on any terms;
yet she had INDUCED in pretty plain
speaking. II have heard" she went
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07
PRISONER OF WAR.

mo rent again this month? This is
the third time 1t has happened within
the half-year. I'll go there myself and
get the money, or I'll know the reason
why"
Matthew Deane was in particularly
bad humor this raw December morn
ing. Everything had gone wrong.
Stocks had fallen when they ought to
have risen-his clerk had tipped over
the inkstand on his special and pecul-
lar heap of paper-the fire obstinate
ly refused to burn in the grate-in
short nothing went right, and Mr..
Deane was consequently and corre-
spondingly cross.
"Jenkinsl'
Yes, sir"
Go to the Widow Clarkson's, and
and expect confidently-mind, Jenkins
confidently to receive that rent
money. Or l shall feel myself obliged
to resort to extreme measures. You
understand, Jenkins?"
Certainly, SIR"
Then don't stand there starin' like
an idiot" snarled Mr.. Deane, in
sudden burst of irritation, and Jenkins
disappeared like shot.
Just half an hour afterward Mat
thew Deane brushed the brown hair
just sprinkled with gray from his
square yet no unkindly brow. Put
ting on his fur-lined overcoat he
walked into the chilly winter air. fully
determined, figuratively, to annihilate
the defaulting Widow Clarkson.
1t was a dwarf1sh little red brick
house which appeared originally to
have aspired to two-storyhood lot,
but cramped by circumstances, had
settled down into a story and a half,
but the windows shone like Brazilian
pebbles, and the doorsteps were worn
by much securing. Neither of these
circumstances, however, did Mr.. Deane
remark as he pulled the glittering
brass doorknob and strode into Mrs.
Clarkson's neat parlor.
There was small fire-very small,
as If every lump of anthracite was
boarded in the stove, and at table
with writing implements before her sat
a young lady whom Mr.. Deane at once
recognized as Mrs. Clarkson's niece,
Miss Olive Mellen. She was not dis
agreeable to look upon, though you
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07

The naming of postoffices after mil.
itary heroes has been fad since the
outbreak of the Spanish war, and is
now beginning to die out; but after
Deweys, Roosevelts, Schleys and
Skaters had dotted the Union, flip,
pant Texas town with an admiration
for the Rough Riders turned up a
short time ago with request that its
postoffice be named "Teddy," which,
after due deliberation, was done, On
the same day postofice in Georgia
varied the usual procedure of securing
the names of the great and good by
naming itself Quilp. The fippancy
with which some towns brand them
selves with opprobrious names is il
lustrated by Twobit, s. d. The town
is probably worth nore than that.
Some of the names, however, eviuce a
lively and poetic fancy, as Blue Ash,
Ohio; Bonny Doom, Cal, and Gallant
Green, Nd.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07
Gleanings From the shops.

Black velvet bows for the hair with
pipings of white satin.
Exquisite novelties in beaded and
jewelled purses and bags in small
sizes.
Gown of net, cloth or velvet show
ing guipure lace in festoon applica-
tions.
Watch fobs of black ribbon with
seal, monogram or rich jewel PEN
dants.
Net, chiffon and narrow lace frills
edged with effective Tom Thumb
fringe.
Muff chains composed of a1ternat-
ing links of gold and enamel flower
designs.
Silver bangles for young girls, upon
which some favoite quotation is in.
scribed.
White Brussels net embroidere d
with light green chenille and pearl
sequins.
Many styles in tortoise shell, am.
ber, jet and Partisan rhinestone Golf.
lure ornaments.
Panne velvet in pompadour color
ings for waists, guimpes and other
trimming purposes.
Lace gowns effectively trimmed
with deep white chenille fringe or
narrow bands of fur.
Evening COWS of chenille dotted
net relieved by bands of cream lace
in bayandere pattern.
Medici collars of sable and other
fur finished with long stoles of plated
chiffon or rich cream lace.
Large assortments of high class
novelties in reversible cloths for driv-
ing coats, capes and ulsters.
Redingotes and newmarkets made
of black or ight-colored cloths
trimmed with machine stitched folds
and deep revers.
Chinchilla and sable toques trimmed
effectively with tulle rosettes in COM
bination with birds, wings, paradise
aigrette and violets. Dry Goods
Economist.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07

Peter the Great was once very neatly
caught in trap by a jester attached
to the court. The jester was noted for
mis- cleverness in getting himself and
his friends out of difficulties. 1t ham,
pened one day that a cousin of his
had incurred the czar's displeasure, and
was about to be executed. The lester.
therefore, presented himself before his
imperial master to beg for his reprieve
On seeing him approach the czar di-
yining his errand, cried: 1T is no good
to come here; | swear l will not grant
what you are going to ask" Immedi-
ately the jester went down on his
knees, saying: Il beseech your i'm
perial highness to put that scamp
cousin of mine to death" The czar,
thus caught in his own trap, could
only laugh and pardon the condemned
man,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07
Sacred White peaoocks at the Zoo.

Sacred white peacocks are the star
attraction at the Central Park men
agerie in New York City. The long
armed gibbon, known as the missing
link. which has held the place of
honor at the park zoo, will take back
seat. 1t is said there are only two
white peacocks in America. The
strange peacocks have been part of
q circus in Cincinnati. Superinten-
dent Smith heard Of them and ar
ranged for an exchange. Cape buff
faloes are rarity in this country, but
the menagerie has several of them
and no freak peacocks. The circus
man finally consented to let the pea
coSks go to New York City and to take
in exchange one Of the cape buffaloes.
The white peacock is the albino of the
peacock family, and only very few
of them are found outside of their
native country, India, where they are
considered sacred.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07
Material For His Play.

A fourteen-year-old boy marched
busily up to the doorkeeper and asked
to be allowed to see the Molineux
trial. The attendant told him he was
too small, and pushed him back.
"But I've got some important busi-
ness" he said, resentfully.
Important business?"
I'm writing play, sir, and the
fourth act is murder trial just like
Mr.. Molineux's.
sect out, you--r"
"Why do you let Mr.. Scott, the
Englishman, in, and Mr.. Bronson
Howard and Mr.. Klein, the actor?"
"Wait till you are rs big as they
are"
well, wait till you see my play"
snapped the applicant for admit
taDce, and stalked haughtily up to the
elevator. New York Commercial Adj
yertiser,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07
SOUTH AFRlcA'S PLAQUES,
At Buluwayo Boots Devoured by Ants
The Rinderpest.

At Buluwayo Boots Dcvoured by Ants-
The Rinderpest.
"South Africa imports hides, wool
and mohair, and the ranchman woul d
ravel in riches were it not for the var
ious pests that decimate his focks and
herds. The most deadly one is the
rinderpest, cattle plague which in
the last ten years has been slowly
creeping from Central Africa south
ward, leaving wake of whitened
bones. In travelling through Natal I
saw fifty oxen lying dead about 8
spring where they had tumbled one
over the other, SO suddenly had the
disease attacked them. 1t was almost
impossible then to get an untinged
piece of steak at restaurant, though
the proprietor resented any such
charge, and plethoric German trav-
eler who called in loud tone for
roast rinderpest' in the railroad cafe
at De Aar Junction, Cape Colony, had
to be picked up in fragments. DIR.
Koch and other eminent specialists
tried in vain to stop this plague. The
country is now recovering from it
slowly.
another pest is the tsetse fly, an
insect resembling our common house
fly, but three times as large. It's bite
will kill horse, COW or any other do
mestic animal in about ten days, but,
strange to say, does not affect wild
animal or human being. A less dan
gerous but more troublesome pest is
the white ant, which is about one
quarter of an inch long and ubiquit.
GUS in many parts of the country.
They live under the ground, and can
only te routed by killing the queen,
which sometimes reaches the size of
one inch in length. This insect is
particularly harassing in Rhodesia.
At Buluwayo my travelling companion
inadvertently left his boots on the
floor after turning in at night, and he
arose next morning to find the uppers
carefully separated from the soles.
Lucky you didn't leave your clothes
on the hoor,' was the hotel keepers
only consolation. These ants will eat
through anything but metal, and for
that reason much of the building is
done with corrugated iron. The ant
hill is one Of the conspicuous land
marks in travelling over South Africa"
-Ainslee's Magazine.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07
Carrying Logs Across a Chasm.

Eurore's unique transportation wry
is the Forst Rope Road. In the eau
ton of Grisons, on the dizzy preci.
pice of Via Mala (the bad way. a
deep defile of Switzerland along the
upper Rhine, walled in by precipices
in some places 1900 feet high, it is so
difficult to get the felled trees across
the valley that wire rope railway
hangs from the mountain top across
tho valley down to Rongellen. To
this cable are fastened big logs by
rope and pulley, which slowly are
carried across the valley. When se-
we're storms sweep down from the
mountain passes, frequently the sys-
tenn gets tangled, and then it is neces-
sary for some one to make the perilous
journey out on the rope to unravsl
the mass.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07
Some Remarkable Freight Outfits.


All the reminiscent veterans of the
plains love to dwell nowadays on the
wonders of the freight outfits of the
early sixties, when the transportation
business for them was at its height.
An ox-team freight train consisted of
twenty-five wagons. Several trains
used to move together, making
stream of OK teams and wagons more
than half mile long. Sometimes q
freight train would be q mile long,
consisting of 500 OK teams, 100
wagons and about 130 men. The
earlier wagons were large and carried
from fifty to sixty hundred pounds of
freight, but later still heavier wagons,
with oval white canvas or loose cloth
tops, called prairie schooners, came
into use; each wagon being loaded
with from three to three and one-half
tons. The goods were protected with
two or three. sheets of ducking. Some
wagons had peep holes in the sides
from which the freighters looked out,
rifle in hand, when band of savages
was menacing the train.
Each wagon required six yoke of
oxen for motive power, and twenty or
thirty head of extra oxen always ac-
companied the train to supply the
place of those that were lost or
crippled. The custom of trailing o
wagon came into use in later years.
In camping the wagons were arranged
in circle side by side, with the
tongues outward, and log cabin ex-
tended from the hind wheel of one
wagon to the fore wheel of the next
one, thus making solid pen.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07

1t will be good day for the country
when there grows up an assumption
that the politician is naturally high
minded, though conditions may at
times cause him to act questionably,
and that, freed from those conditions.
his natural moral resiliency will cause
him to soar, observes the New York
Commercial Advertiser. Under a
high moral public sentiment it is
easier for men to be good than to be
bad. In private life many man leaves
certain things undone, while commit
ting other greater sins because some
are what n gentle nan would not do.
and the others the sin of the gentle
man. Thus any advance in public OF
political standard is hailed as a bene
fit. no matter what its immediate mo.
tive
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07

A critical rather than confident
attitude toward immediate if not final
results Hhould mark American think
ing. Lord Roberts has been a great
soldier, but is nota young man. Won
Moltke was the only old man who has
proved himself great soldier-unless
1t be J""bert-in modern times. Our
own Scott was retired for the ineffi-
cheney of age at the outbreak of our
civil war. The Duke of Cambridge
ceased to be commander in chief of
the armies of Great Britain because
of his years. The dignifed marshals
of the Third Empire failed France in
her contest with Germany.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07
JlNCLES AND JESTS.

Sillicus-"A woman's troubles are
always extreme" Cynicus-"Y
shoes and hats"
There is chance for some genius
To spend his days in clover
By inventing cloth for overcoats
That will fade alike all over.
Chicago News.
81 may have Wheels" said the
driver of the van, "but I move In the
best society. ."-Philadelphia Evening
Bulletin.
Hoax-"Salary been reduced, eh?
That's hard luck. Made you feel
mad, didn't it?" Joax-"No, but it
made me feel cheap"
fear he will not rise to fame;
He has indeed n studlous bent,
But all with ease may read his name
Whene'er he signs II document.
Washington Star,
Maude-'' Have Bella and Jack ha
new quarrel?" Lena-"Oh, mol
but they've patched up their old one
till it's about as good as new
Puck.
The Amiable Plutocrat - "But
riches do not bring happiness. The
Unamiable Pauper - "But I amt
lookin' for happiness. All want is
comfort. indianapolis Journal
Judge-"Have you anything to say
before the court passes sentence?"
Prisoner-"Well, all I've got to say
is, I hope you'll consider the extreme
youth of my lawyer, and let me off
easy"
Little Edgar-"Pa, what's lineal
descendants" Pa-''He is generally
some one who is trying to get through
the world on a reputation somebody
made before he was born. Chicago
Times Herald.
Il see by the newspapers, re.
marked Reeder, "that the miners in
the Klondike are sending out appeals
for wives" 'Is that SOP" calculated
Hennypeck, in an eager whisper.
"They can have mine"
"You are not Opaque. are you?"
sarcastically asked one man of another
who was standing in front of him at
the theatre. "Faith, an Dim not"
replied the other. "It's O'Brien thot
Oh am. Chicago News.
Eacn man Is apt to deem, we're told,
That fellowman his friend,
Who never asks to borrow gold,
But has some he will lend.
-Elliott's Magazine.
They were engaged. "Life," she
said, as she arose from the piano
stool, "will be one long, sweet song
after we are married" "That settles
it, then," firmly responded her lover,
as he picked up his hat and took his
departure. Ohio State Journal.
Gas I understand it," says Mrs.
Gazzam, "by the wireless telegraph
system the messages go right through
the air we.breathe. eyes, that is cor
rect," assented Mr.. Gazzem. "Then
a person who has just filed message
in the telegraph Office may swallow
his own words on his way home."--
Harper's Bazaar.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07

A distinguished authority was
asked, the other day. what was the
proper number of good working
committee. The reply was; "Three-
if one is sick and another canno.
come" That must not be regardea
as an example of one man power, be-
cause the author of the statement was
Clara Barton, who has exemplified it
more than once.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07
more than once

"Quartz at Dawson" will not be as
attractive cry to the prospector as it
would have been over year ago.
Since that time Uncle Sam has fou nd
the Cape Nome gold fields, on his own
side of the line, and the population
of the Yukon Territory has gone mer-
rily down. Dawson needs more men
and cheaper labor, and hence new
crop OF "mother-lode" reports.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07
Garments For Slender Women.


Anxious to preserve the slenderness
of their figures, many women will suf.
fer actual discomfort, or even risk
great danger to their health from cold,
rather than wear heavy, bulky gar
ments. Shetland underwaists, to be
worn next the redingote, or rather
overdress, are especially designed for
this class of people. These garments
are knitted loosely in pure Shetland
wool. They are exceedingly warm,
though so fine and light, and the
waists are made with high neck and
long sleeves. They can be worn un-
der close-ftting bodice without ma
terially increasing the size. They can
be found at any Of the stores which
make q specially of fine hygiene wool
underwear. They are rather high in
price, but pair of these waists mere
ly for outdoor wear will last all win
ter. They can be had in black, white
and gray woods respectively. Rather
than pay the price, many women sub
stitute ribbed wool undervest, which
they wear under lightweight cloth
Jacket.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-05-07
The aIeanest Men,

Some of the meanest men in the
world are the fellows who stop in
front of q newsboy, pretend to feel for
cent with which to buy paper,
sneak glance at the headlines which
gives them all the news they want,
and then refuse to buy, saying, ''Just
had one. New York Press.