Mesa free press., 1900-03-23
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bare limbs.-Harlem Life.
Walton-I assure you, sir, that some
of the best fish stories are never told.
Calton-Yes; l suppose fishermen are
occasionally drowned.-Judge.
"What are you going to call your new
Office buildingW 81 think I'll call it
the Serial on account Of it's continued
ies."-Philadelphia Record.
'There is one thing can be truly said
Of Miss Ogler; she is self-possessed."
"Very true; but I'll bet you she wishes
she wasn't. Boston Courier.
Teacher-What happens when q
mans temperature goes down as far
as it can do? Smart scholar-He has
cold feet, ma a'am.-Christian Register.
"Poor old Henpeck leads a dogs life
with his wife," well why on earth
doesn't he apply for divorceY HE
says he wanted to, but she wouldn't let
him."-Philadelphia Press.
Little Mike (who has an inquiring
mind)-Feyther, phwere was Solo
Solomon's timple, is ut? On the soide
av his head, av coorse.-Judge.
Prison visitor-Is there anything that
you think might be improved heref
Prisoner formerly labor leader)-
Well, yes; the hours here are too long,
for one Philadelphia Record.
Maxim-How did Tweeter behave
under fire? Did he shrink? Calling
No, l don't know as he shrank; but he
evidently tried to make himself as
small as he could. Boston Transcript.
"How does it happen, doctor, that
we never see you any more with your
old flame, the rich bankers daughter"
"She is married" "Oh, married. To
whomw '"To me."-Fliegende Blaet-
ter.
Nippon-Hear about Clark being in
railroad accident? Badly hurt, too.
Tuck-Will he recover? Nippon-Well,
l don't know; his lawyer says he can,
but his doctor says ne can't.-Town
Topics.
Wifely Constancy.-w have been
married for fifteen years, and my wife
never fails to meet me at the door,"
"Wonderfulw "Yes, she's afraid l
might go in without wiping my feet. -
Chicago Times-H Herald.
"Did you hear me sing Because
Love Your" asked the young man
with a voice like lathe. Il must
have misunderstood" murmured Miss
Cayenne. 81 thought you were singing
because you hated us. s."-Washington
Star.
Anything to SUIT never give mon
ey to beggars on the street." said the
pedestrian. "Oh, very we'll" replied
the seedy individual. "here's my card;
kindly call at my office and leave your
contribution with my bookkeeper.
Chicago Daily News.
NO." he complained, 81 have never
succeeded in getting anything for moth
ing! l have always had to strive hard
for everything that has come to me.
L" "What about the mumps you
had last winter?" his wife Interrupted.
Chicago Times-Herald.
Mr.. Pokus-There's the only woman
in this town whose affairs amt gos-
siped about at the SEWN Circle meet
in's. Mr. Citiman-How does she es-
cape? Mr.. Pokus-By good manage
ment-she alters gifts there ahead Of any
of the rest of 'em.
Wife of Patient-I'm so sorry, doctor,
to bring you all the way to Hampstead
to see my husband. Doctor (from May
fair)-Pray don't mention it, my dear
madam. have another patient in this
neighborhood, so I'm killing two birds
with one stone!Punch.
'"The salary Of the Car Of Russia
amounts to about $1,000 an hour"
"Well, I'd hate to have job Of that
kind" "WhyY "It would break my
heart to have to lay off an hour or two
some day and perhaps get docked. =
Chicago Times-Herald.
1T seems to me- said the diplomat.
"that there is said to be something to
be said on both sides of this question"
Maybe so," answered the Boer gen
oral. bul yOu II udft W SSl oOlLC-
body else to say it. I'm not talking
these days." s."-Washingtcn Star.
Employer-Miss Jimms, have you
any rules for punctuation in your typo
writer work? Miss .Jimms-Yes, sir;
of course. Every time stop to get my
breath put in comma: and, always
at the bottom of the page, make a
period. indianapolis Journal.
Several women entered the car to-
gether. Get up" said the fat man to
the thin man, land give lady your
seat" Fat men always think they are
privileged to remain seated. Get up
yourself" retorted the thin man, land
give two ladies your seat."-Chicago
Post.
AS he was about to sink for the third
time, he, of course, recalled everything
in his past life. His cOuntenance radi-
ated with joy. "Ah!' he exclaimed;
"since | now remember what 1t was
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