The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-06-10
BURGLARY AND SCIENCE.

occupation of coal dealer. Is man with a
considerable sense of humor
Il can tell you story about me and
Andy and Patsy Darlington that isn't bad
fun he said to me one day.
1T was like this. Andy and me often
| met at the Angel, in Brixton. and one day
We were there together, and pretty hard
up. Well, in comes Patsy-a fellow never
cared much for. although he and Andy
chummed together. We saw he'd some
| thing on his mind, and thought he want
| ed me gone, but Andy would make me
| stop for it. Patsy had been down near
Leatherhead to see some friends, and he
| thought he'd spotted good thing.
Ever heard of Sir Miles Harold, sir?
| o, you have. Well. then, you know that
he was nearly millionaire, if not quite.
| His father was a big contractor. but Sir
Miles was one of them scientific gents, al
| ways bothering with chemicals and things
of that sort.
Patsy came back with the news that
| it was place worth cracking. Sir Miles
had got some splendid gold and silver plate,
| and, as the house wasn't well guarded, it
was easy job.
You crack it. then Patsy, ses l. I'm
bit superstitious about scientific gents
Its as easy as winkin'.' he ses. The
old fool thinks nothing but about his play
things
ANDY looked at me and winked, and
then told Patsy TO dry up while him and
| me talked it over At last we decided that
Andy should go down and have look at
the job hisself. and If it was all right we
should go in partnership over it.
HE went the next day. He was there
day or two, and came back quite en-
thusiastic, and we set at work at once.
I'VE hired greengrocer's cart. with
| fast pony. to do the job with. Fat5y
drove down TO Leatherhead, and Andy
and me went by train. Patsy was to
| look after the cart while Andy and me
got the swag. but the programme had to
be altered. The morning We get out 1
| slipped on the wet pavement, and came
down on my arm. 1t wasn't b-okG n.
| but it was badly bruised. and my writ
was sprained ard ! had to be odd man
! out stead OF Patsy.
| Il drew up outside the house as near
to the grounds as / could get, and my
moon, but starlight.
Patsy had marked swing window
! to the larder. and. being slim chap, he
wriggied through and went round to the
dining-room window and let Andy in.
THE best OF the plate was kept in a
! cabinet in the dining-room. 1t only
took Patsy minute or two to pick tie
! lock, and Andy sucked in his breath at
the sight inside. They were busy
erin IN in, no hat IL
the room blaEed with light-electIic
| light. of course-and quiet voice said:
| Please put ycur hands above your heads,
or must shoot
1T was such knockdown surprise that
their hands went UP almost by tn lmselyes,
and they screwed round their heads to see
Sir Miles-a pale. dreamy looking gent.
with big forehea i-standirg in the Door
way with a revolver covering them.
Don't give me the trouble to shoot,
| gentlemen: i, would make such a nasty
mess on the carpet says he. 'Carruthers
bring some cord
"A big young fellow stepped forward
with laugh. and began fastening their
hands ard elbows together, after which he
hobbled their feet.
when they were trussed I'D Sir Miles
commanded them to follow him. and they
shufiied along. with the young chap bs-
hind. He led them into his workshop, and
made them sit down.
Very interesting capture, Carruthers.'
ses Sir Miles. 'Burglars?'
Yes, sir ses Carruthers.
You are not very Intelligent members
Of your profession he ses to Andy and
Pat. or you would not have come here.
Carruthers. oblige me by going outside
| and coming in by the, window as these
gentlemen did. / want-to show them how
stupid they were. 81
Yes, SIR he ses. and went out, and
presently bell close to them began
ringing softly. He is getting through
the window now ses Sir Miles. And
this bell'-Dointing 10 another-'rang
when you opened the cabinet. You were
! exceedingly foolish
IF you'll let us go. sir. ses Andy,
speaking his paitest. well never be
foolish no more. You're too clever a
gent for us. sir.
'Carruthers. he SEES. when his man
came in again. this foolish person sug-
gests that should let them go. He does
| not know how well timed this visit is. A
capital opportunity for trying my new bat
terry. Carruthers.
"Carruthers screwed up his face.
~ don't think ! should, sir ses he.
why not?'
lit mirtst kill them, sir
:" o. ses Sir Miles. as careless as you
please. they're lusty fellows; and. be-
sides. they broke into my house.
Poor Andy and Patsy. sir, were in
bad way. Andy ses he was sweating
| till 1t trickled down him, and Patsy was
taken different. for he was shivering till
his teeth chartered. What it was they
didn't know. but it YVES plain it was
something awful. They begged Sir Miles
NJ
have mercy and let EN- CO. When that
did no good. they fell to swearing awful.
and threatened Sir Miles. but it didn't
make ha'porth of difference. He only
smiled and said it was too good an oppor-
tunity TO be lost
HE and Carruthers cleared the bottles
end things eff two tables and lifted
Patsy on one and Andy on the other.
. I'm afraid. sir Carruthers began,
as he got out some ul-looking instru-
ment; but Sir Miles SEES:
80, they're strong-they'u stand It.
And. anyway, l don care
They touched Andy with the instru-
ment in the back. A terrible pain darted
through him, he said: the worst he had
ever suffered. and he couldn't help scream
ing. Then they tried it on Patsy, and lie
suffered the same.
.''Acts beautifully doesn't it, ses Car
ruthers
"'Pooh, ses Sir Miles. turn on strong
er current. I'm deeply indebted 20 these
gentlemen for this opportunity.
land that fiend,' went on Andy, gave
us another dose. worse than the other.
The pain was something awful
How long 1t lasted they couldn't say;
but at last the two torturers whispered
together, and then went to the groaning
men and examined their backs.
Good heavens. sir-look.' SEES Carruth-