davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
ECHOES FROM
 THE MEGAPHONE
rom the ciogtown Megaphone.

From the Clogtown Megaphone.
 This is an age of babies. A baby Is man or woman in miniature-very miniature at that, and some never get beyond that stage. Still all men and women have at some time in their lives been babies. True, the time is so far back that very few remember their babyhood. Unmarried girls who have reach ed the age of twenty eight frequently deavor to gull the public by claiming to recall many of their baby-deeds, vainly striving to make us believe that they ara almost infants. No other geological speei- men thus far discovered pretends to be able to do this. The period of second infancy alone enables these girls to do this. Adam was never a baby and never had to take Castoria. He was born an orphan and held his own throughout his life No fond parents ever nursed him on a flask, as some fathers nurse even themselves now-a-days. No one ever got up at midnight to give him paregoric, or to spank him into all the eolors of a kaleidoscope because he was making the night hideous. He had play mates worth speaking of The stockings which he wore were never hung up for Sam ia Claus; if so, history is silent on the mat ter.
 Adam did not run out on the streets and play with the bad boys of the town. No one restrained him except his inclina tions, and more particularly the fact that there were no boys. When he grew up large enough to be concerned about his beard and to think about the girls he had no one to speak to concerning the matter.
 Life was lonely and he was in love but could not find the girl. He worried over the matter until sleep came to his relief. When he awoke rib was missing from his collection of such articles, but he found that it had been converted into the girl he was so anxious to win. He had monopoly of the courtshlp business just then; the girl had no other suitors that we can hear about, although she was one of the fairest creatures ever on the matrimonial carpet. He fell asleep about nine o'clock in the evening, so he called his companion Eve" If you will remember this you can under stand why the front name of Mrs. Adam was Eve.
 Mrs Adam and her husband were very affectionate to each other, and they had no quarrels over millinery bills, due principal ly to the fact that the mantau makers had
 
 locality. When a new dress was desired Mrs. Adam simply plucked a new supply of leaves and other grasses. While she did not attend dances in the neighborhood she could stand before the glass and rub chalk all over her face the same as do our society people today. When Adam came home at noon from his office she could run and meet him and inquire concerning the amount of business transacted that morning. Everything passed off pleasantly with them until Eve, woman-like, kept prowling around for something sour to eat. She went to the orchard and pulled some green fruit. so we infer giving her husband part of it also, and the trouble that arose as a consequence has continued to affect all subsequent editions of mankind.
 J. E. G.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
HE ONLY DAILY NEWSPAPER IN 3ALAs sAMA
State Funds in a Vault.

r. There may be one or two other states in the union that store funds in a vault, but out of the forty-fve there are not more. xthan two besides this state that prefer mediaeval to modern methods in the keep dng of public funds. Alabama's method is but another illustration of the backward ness and untimeliness of her state constdtu- tion, which is as full of particulars as it Is of out-of-date limitations and commands. 1t is thoroughly outworn document.
 In these days of bonds by thoroughly re- sponsfbles public companies there is no ex- cuse avhatever for placing the funds of the state in a vault, to become the target of criminal eyes and thoughts. But the risk involved is the lesser trouble; for money in a vault is money withdrawn from cir ieulation to the detrlment of all, and it yields in the vault no interest to the state. Tn Georgia and in nearly all of the other states the banks pay the state interest on balances. A bond for the maximum amount deposited is taken, and the state has a first lien on the assets of the bank. The security is perfect. It is much better than two watchraen furnish at night at the vault in Montgomery. A correspondent of the Atlanta Constitution publishes an imagin- ,ary dispatch describing the murder of the two watchunen, and the carting away of the entire sum, which by the way should have been distributed in good part to the schools and the old soldiers. The skilled burglars of the country are wholly equal to a task that absurd constitutional provisions render possible.
 Alabama is not backward state, and it should not have such absurd backward constitutional provisions. The amendment route should be well worked next winter, for fate seems to have determined that a general revision is impractcable. A dozen amendments at least needed, and the antedluvian method of keeping state funds should not be overlooked
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
Carnegie HoId-Up in Armor.

The French government tired at last of the extortion of contractors built an ar nor plate plant, and there is no reason why the United States should not do like wise. The Carnegie company has been fat tenod on tariff favors and government con- its from $4O,OOO,oOO to s45,oO0,OoO a year, and it now says to the government, "give me $545 ton, or go without. It holds or claims ito hold a monopoly of the Krupp patent, sharing it, however, with it's part ner in government contracts, the Bethle- hem Steel company. As the Bethlehem company has sold armor plates to foreign governments at $25O ton, and as senator ial committee has shown that flair aver age price" for armor would be between $500 and s4e0 ton, there is no reason why the government should recede from the sS5O limitation contained in the bill of the last congress.
 An excellent armor plate plant can be built for s1,5OO0eO, and such plant would render this government as independent in this important material as the French gov ernment now is. There is no reason why such plant should not be erected, except that the Pennsylvania combine is opposed to it. This is 'ane sole and only objection of any value whatever. The Pennsylvania. combine is now rich that its demands go a long ways, and in these days the hold-up may be operative. But after while it will not be. The people will speak after while, and then the combine will be powerless. At present the combine wants $545 a ton for what is not worth over $50 <0n' and it is up to the republican party to say whether it will continue to add to the profits of the Carnefie concern. or build a plant that it can control at all times without any hold ups.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

broke the holsters a1l to flinders. The bol- sters hold up the wagon bed, you know. Well, the boys figured out all right the re- building of the wood parts, but came near abedng stlrmped on the iron fixtures. They got some old iron wagon tires and cut them in proper lengths, but hadn't a way that they could. see to punch the necessary bolt holes. Finally the question was solved One of the boys carefully marked the places for the bolts, stood the piece of tire against a tree and put bullet, 30 caliber. through
 the tire at each place marked. It was a
 novel sort of blaelSsmithing, but 1t worked.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

From the National FrlMt Grower.
 To a great many people an orange is an orange. but there are oranges and oranges, and several grades are gathered from the same orchard not only, but from the same tree. An orange plucked from the sunny side of a tree does not look like a nearer relation to an orange plucled from a less favored side of tthe same tree at the same time than a third cousin. Hence there Is a wide range an the quotation on oranges of tho same stock from the same locality.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
SAW vANDERBILTs ART COLLECTION From the New York World.

More than 200 persons yesterday saw the Vanderbilt collection of,pictures in the gall -3ery of the mansion at Fifty-first street and Fifth avenue. It was the first time in twenty9three years that outsiders were per- mitted to view the paintings gathered by William H. Vanderbilt.
 The visitors were made up of students of art, music, medicine and law. They were the guests of MT and Mrs. George w. Vanderbilt from 2:S0 to p. m.
 The affair was made particularly interest ing by the fact that s. P. Avery, who bought nearly all the paintings for Mr. Vanderbilt was there and told how the most famous picture in the collection, Mill let's 'Sower," was purchased from man in Germany, who was told to name his own price, of the meeting between MT. Wander 4bilt and Rosa Bonheur and many other in teresting things.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
SHORT STORIES
 OF THE DAY
The Author of tie Article

Two travellers fin a par1or car between Boston and New York were discussing a magazine autfcfe by Senator Henry Cabot Lodge relating to the Revolutionary var, relates the Saturday F5venhng Post One of the men had tine current number of the magazine and had run across "a statement concerning the British occupation of Bos- ton that did not agree with his previous tnforunation tine subject, and seemed contrary to the popular idea of the sttua- ton
 He explained the discrepancy to llis coaa- panion, and concluded with the remark: ''These modern historians are turning things topsyturvy. I wonder where they get ilold of all their latest information?
 The person addressed took the magazine and read carefully the offending paragraph, and then returned the book, saying: Well. dm sure you've got me. According to my remembrance of the matter, as told in school histories years ago, your point is well taken"
 A gentleman near by was reading the same magazine, and evidently Senator Lodges article. To him the first traveller appealed for information on the disputed point.
 Well" said the stranger, q am inclined to side with the author" Then seeing the look of dsappointnfent on the face Of his questioner, he added: 'sBut perhaps I am a little biased in my opinion"
 It happened that member of the repub- lican state committee of Massachusetts was in the car and overheard the conversation. At the first opportunity he asked the first traveler Do you know why the gentleman is biased on that qslestion?'
 "No."
 He wrote the article That is Senator Lodge"
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
PUzzLIAG rhlLeioGY

From the Detroit Free Press.
 A small boy living in Mount Salem, Mtch., was asking his, father questions the other might.
 '.Pa," he said, what Is deIhorning?'
 Father-Why. it's cutting the horns of cattle
 Boy oafter refiecting)-Pa, wha. is detail- ing?
 Father Growing 1qitated)AWhat in the world are you asking so many questions for?
 Boy-Well, Isaw in the paper the other day, where General Butler detailed a whole squad Of his men.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
wHEELER,s PLACE FILLED

Wash. Cor of the Atlanta Constitution.
 Any doubt of Speaker Henderson's atti- tude toward the General Wheeler problem was removed today. Until now the speaker has been holding up a vacancy on the com- mittee on ways and means to be filled by the Alabamian who for a good many years has been a member of that committee. It was expected on the assembling of congress that General Wheeler would put in an early appearance and if he did not claim the seat he would ask for a special election in his district. Those who have been in touch with the little general have never doubted that he still believes himself a member of the house and would claim recognition on his arrival here. There has also been little doubt in view of the report against him in the last house when the present speaker was chairman of the judiciary committee that if the test came General Henderson would decide against his eligibility. The friends of General Wheeler have thought his most sensible move would be to have a special election in his district upon his re- turn, confident, of course, that he would have no opposition, and then all cossslica- tions would be removed. But what he will do, nobody knows. In any event. however. he will not be member of the ways and means committee, for today the speaker filled the vacancy by the appointment of Hon. Oscar Underwood, the member from the Birmingham district. The appointment is an excellent one. MT. Underwood is one of the ablest of the younger members of the house and a man who has made a dis tinet mark in congress. He has for some time been a member of the judiciary com mittee and this new appointment is an sad- ditional tribute to his merit and worth
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
KEFL%U .ioNs oF A n.AoHELoR
From the New York Press.

From the New York Press.
 If man hugged his delusions as long as woman does, he would never hug woman.
 A clever girl is very seldom pretty. That is generally the n why she is clever.
 An old bachelor is the only one who never fails to get a lot of atisfact out of mar riage.
 A girl almost always has objections either to a mans business position or his family connections-t he asks her.
 When a woman quarrels with man she may admit that she was 10 blame, but sue will always claim it was all his fault that she was.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

South American republic But Judge Cham bers does not desire to go abroad. Former Governor Thomas c. Jones of Montgomery is at the Morris. He is accom- panied by his private secretary, E. L. May, formerly of Birmingham.
 
 W. R. Dortch and o. R. Hood of Gadsden were in town yesterday.
 The work of removing the debris from the scene of the Hewlett block fire was begun yesterday.
 Major James Spence of Tuscaloosa spent yesterday in Birmingham.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
Promotion of Mir. Underwood.

Tho appointment of MT. Underwood to the ways and means commattee shows how rapidly this young Alabama member is ris- ing in popularity and influence at Wash ington. The ways and means committee is by far the leading parliamentary com-. mittee in the world, because 1t is the lead ing committee of the American body in which aE appropriation 5Ggs are or-gi- matted. A place on it Is in fact more of am honor than the chairmanzl1ip of an aver age committee.
 MT. Undenwood's position in the house Is an example of the possibilities of con- tnuous service. The longer the term the more useful the service. This is rule that Maine has observed to her great honor and advantage, and it is a rule that gave fine south such commanding influence in congress before the ciyIa war. A new member is indeed a poor stick alongside an old member who knows everybody. and who knows all the intricacies of govern
 nent in Washington. 1t ds more intricate than Mergenthaler machine, and like the Mergenuhader some of its ways are not above reproach.
 lit is greatly to Mir. Underwood's credit that he has won the esteem and support oG his fealow-members in his third term. He deserves his honors, and the mineral district of Alabama will see that 'ne is on lhand to receive them, for it has work for iilfm to do. It wants the Warrior and the. Coosa opened to the sea, and MT. Under wood is now in a position to powerfully aid both enterprises, and all other<enter- prises that Alabama may need.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
How Order Was Preserved

The great sacred mace of the house of representatives is gilded standard crown ed by an American eagle. and is supposed to symbolize the authority of the govern ment, relates the St. Louis Republic It is used to suppress any disturbances beyond the control of the speaker, and when held oefore oostreperous members, representing, as 1t does, the supreme authority of the land, its effect upon such beligerents is in most cases wonderful. One of these few exceptions, however. brought forth most amusing remark from the bearer of the mace, Colonel Ike Hil a veteran official of the house and then sergeant-at-arms remark which convulsed those within earshot At this time lively exchange of personalities was taking place between two members, one of whom a new man. was Partlcuiarly boisterous and noisy After commanding him to sit down which he re- Fused to do, the speaker pounded fiercely with his gavel and ordered the sergeant- at-arms to exercise his authority and pre- serve order
 Holding the mace aloft and with grave and dignihed mlen he slowly walked up to the offending member and held the sacred symbol before him. The member. howev CT, apparently not realizing what he was doing, still refused to be seated. much tn Colonel Ike's irritation Finally he could stand the suspense no longer, and, leaning over, pointed tine eagle-topped staff at him un a threatening manner and exclaimed in ht9'n-pitched stage whisper:
 LII peck you if you don't sit right down!"
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
A ~Ii4AD's EYES

"hAAD's EYES Howard Weeden. In the duck of Chloe's rich brown cheek The dimples are never at rest, All bright would the glee of her young face
 Joe,
 Did not the eyes protest. Chloe wears her dusky hair Twisted. efin-wdse; And her face is in bloom with the smilea
 which illume All saving her solemn eyes. And no one knows how the idle face, So young and so nearly glad, nai Found and hid in its melting eyes That Something so deep and sad! a..Ig
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
ONE INAIIENARLE RIGHT

From the Washington Star.
 No success attained by Dom Paul can rob the Prince of Wales of his privilege of setting the styles in whlskers.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
Why They Were Perturbed

There's a colony of bachelor maids In fiat uptown, says the New York Sun, and while they have during the six months Of their existence as such been enthusiastic over their condition of freedom, one of them has paused. as 1t were to reflect. She has not said anything, but she has kept up a dickens of a thinking, and the other day one of her compatriots discovered her in brown study.
 ''Hello!' she exclaimed, after the man. ner of bachelor maids, you seem to have a weight on your mind"
 II have," was the rejoinder.
 Anything serious?"
 Ut is to me-
 ''What is it? suppose you can tell me. can't your?
 Certainly I was thinking how long 1t would take for a bachelor maid to become an old-maid maid. Have you any idea?"
 ''Um-er," hes1tated the other girl; well, no, haven't. I never quite thought of it in that way before.'
 At present this particular colony of "b. ms" is more or less perturbed in mind
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
A JOB FOR THE sPELLBINpERs

From the Washington Post.
 Perhaps we should send a few spelfbind- CTS down and convince the Puerto Ricans that the foreigners will pay their tariff taxes.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
WHY HE LIO, TKtmnI,rs

From the Chicago Daily News.
 Russia and Billy Mason are the two latest menaees to the British nation.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

Senator Stewart says he has long oGb- served that the constitution is on the side that polls the most votes
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

The ship subsidy bill is shelved again, and it is believed it will stay on the shelf this time.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

Governor Leary's acquisitions are sudden and surprising. Our province of Guam is having civilization pumped into it.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
ONE METHOD OF SHOWING GRATITUDl

From the Denver Post.
 A South Carolina man left all his money to a girl who had rejected him. What a touching mark of gratitude.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

Lady Smith herself held out long time She lived to be 94.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

The Memphis Commercial-Appeal's first choice, MT. Richard Olney, repudates MT. Bryan in magazine article
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

The Emperor of Germany should stick to war and statesmanship, and not tackle so intricate a task as comic opera.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
ONE OR 1,IIE OrIlER

From the Providence Journal (Rcp)
 If Senator Clark Is rot a corrupt man, he must be a very foolish one
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
INCUNsPICIt)tls ,JOE

From the Chicago Times-J1eraid
 The Hon. Jocioailey, of Texas, is having a regular David B. Hal elf time all ito himself.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

Twelve thousand shells were thrown into Ladysmith, killing 35 of the garrison and wounding 1SS
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

The promotion of Attorney General Griggs to the supreme court is not aiailed with spontaneous joy by the people.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

Scarcely mule escaped the slaughter house in LAadysunith.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

The only reason why Ladysmith did not siege Of it.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

The peach-crop prevarfcator is training for a supreme effort
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

John Bulls reiief parties are very pop ular fin South Africa.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

1.-The Iron Tooth is so full of aches tha il induces riotous proceedings.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

The republicans are now convinced that their Porto Rican compromise bill is a iblunder. It Is nearly as good as dead-dt is ito be pigeon-holed.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

sThe Hon. Web. Davis is mysteriously qriet and unobtrusive. Something must ap him.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

General Kitchener does the work in South Africa, and Little Bobs" gets uhe bouquets
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

Captain Obenlfn M Carter will not ask for pardon, and one will not be forced on him.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

The English generals will keep on re- gardless of the Lenten period.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07

Senatorial courtesy is apt to win when pitued against senatorial precedent.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
LOST
Iron, the Eufaula Times.

Ex-Ccnsul Macrum appears to nave gone to join Henry Neill and Aguinaldo.
The age-herald., 1900-03-07
DIFFERENCE IN ORANGES

The Porto Rioan tariff gun is loaded.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1900-08-25
FOREIGN NOTES OF INTEREST.

Carl Smith an American sculptor, has
died Copenhagen.
Herr Krupp will begin practice Aug. %
with cannon shooting II miles.
United States Consul Fee. at Bombay
reports to the state department that
cholera is raging there.
An official dispatch from Korea says
that 1000 rebels have attacked Song
Ching burning the government buildings
located there.
The Lokal Anzeiger of Berlin an
nounces the engagement of Queen vii.
helmna to Prince Frederick Adolf Of
MecklenburgS chwerin.
Former President Ignacio Andrade Of
Venezuela. who was deposed from the
presidency and succeeded by Cipriano
Castro, the present incumbent, is dead.
Major Mansell, the British vice consul
at Van, while travelling near Elk, was
fired ON by Kurds and his dragoman
was wounded. The consul got his party
away with difficulty and his baggage was
lost. The British ambassador has lodged
a strong protest with the Turkish gov
eminent
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1900-08-25

New York. Aug %. British subjects
who suffered al the hands Of the mob in
the recent race riots in this city have
laid formal complaints before the British
consul II was said at the consuIs Office
yesterday that no decision as to his ac.
ton had been arrived at yet. A sample
of the complaints IL that of Alfred A.
Atkins, native of Kingston, Jamaica.
The West Indian IL palace ear porter.
He says thnt ON the night OF Aug. Ii he
left the Grand Central station TO 70 to
his home. 125 West Twenty seventh
street At Forty-tirst street and Seventh
avenue he was attacked by mob OF
white men. who dragged him about the
street His face was cut In half a dozen
places. and then he was rescued by -
policeman In drug store his wounds
were dressed, and then he was taken to
a hospital In an ambulance. Men spat
on him In the ambulance, he says.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1900-08-25

Washington. Aug 23.--.rhe war de-
partmcnt has ISSUED orders for compa-
mics y, y andN'M Of the Twenty-fourth
infantry and Companies A. G. u aud q
Of the TNeuly nth infantry e proceed
to Manila by way ~ Nngasuii. II they
are required in China, these troops win
be diverted frcm Nagasaki to Taku in
stead Of going 10 the Philippines. The
Twenty-fourth and Twenty-fifth infan-
try are negro regiments. The three com
panies Of the Twentyfonrth affected by
these orders are stationed in Washington
state and the four companies Of the
Twenty-ffth in Texas.