The courier., 1900-02-03
True Greatness.

men, or notorious men which is about
the same thingl to have trivial stories
told Of their trivial early lives that I've
a-mind for taste Of greatness myself.
Ihave always wished to be great. but l
never knew how to start. have tried
many different schemes which it SEEM
ed to me other great men had sue
cessfully worked. Once l thought /
had surely found the trail. / would be
obscure, meaningless, and occasionally
mise epell a word, or be decidedly pro-
fane.l tried it. and sure enough, it went
splendidly. For three weeks lived
joyous, rarified life. and bought three
new bets. each one larger than the last.
l saw my articles mentioned in other
papers. heard people wondering to
each other what the title OF the stuff
meant. l heard several newsboys
using my original profanity. l even got
four dollars for writing them, and 70,
joy! the articles were reviewed at the
clubs! "Ah," thought I, "life is worth
living after ALL" tave no doubt that
alter such brilliant start, all would
have gone we'll. had l been satisfied.
That is the secret of all unhappipess.
l was not satisfied. l concluded |
would not sign fictitious name, but
would astonish the neighbors by telling
them it was l who had written all those
Studies IN Ether" and that I was
'The Severed Soul" who was response
bic for the literary gems people were
talking about. / wanted them to know
why strutted and by what good right.
Well hath the prophet said that a strut
goeth before a stumble, and a swelled
head before long calldown. No soon-
or did my acquaintances and admirers
and neighbors discover that the author
OF Studies in Ether" lived in their
midst, and never even got drunk. to cay
nothing Of going into frances and visit
ing the moon and the planets and the
Hot Place-no sooner did / write one Of
those things that l did not know the
meaning of myself, and put my illus
trious family name to it. than everyone,
with one accord and in one place, said
the articles were utterly stupid, and
that they had always known i would
not turn out well. However. had the
comfort Of knowing that the scheme
worked we'll for awhile; and sometime
when l am in strange place and get
hard up shall work it again.
Then have Tried being dissatisfied
with everything and everybody, and
saying that the wealthy were wretches
and did not know a good thing when
they saw it, (in mora sense, and that
only the poor and incapable were good,
and none were the salt of the earth but
those who we're hard-up and without a
recommendation from their last employ
or. The trouble with that scheme wac,
that it would work only with those who
could do me no good. One Denver
paper promised to give me three COL
umns Of space every day. but couldn't
pay me for it. Inmates OF the peni-
tentiary we're unanimous in saying that
it was great stuff, and they had always
thought that way. But times were
pretty good, and / had 40 many chances
to get work that gave it up. But it is
great scheme il you work it at the
right time.
Then l have tried the long hair dodge
and the absent minded racket, and the
advertising plan. l must say that the
advertining pays. 1 never knew it to
fail. 1t is money maker. and if it is