The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1900-05-10


lean Dietary Sausage company" inter-
rupted the major, land as purchasing
agent we'll deposit $5OO,OOONto your
credit to start on; salary to be paid
weekly or monthly, just as you elect
and the dividends on the stock to come
Quarterly. need $40 to see my way
clear, but II you can't spare that sum
give me 50. And there you are, sir;
there you are"
But haven't got $5."
Don't neglect this golden opportuni-
ty, my dear contemporary; don't do 1t.
The man who invented the Welsh rab-
bit made 100000 and lived to be 90
years old. Angel cake brought its In
ventor $1,O00000 while he lived and q
monument 40 feet high after death.
Hoky poky Ice cream won't be in II
with dietary sausage. Peanut brittle
and lobster salad have already gone to
the rear. Why, sir, any moment a tele-
graph boy may come In with a tele-
gram from the president reading: Con-
gratulations on your dietary; have
only eaten one barrel and am sure I
shall be renominated. Send another
by express. The very next mail will
probably bring unsolicited testimonials
from dozen actresses and four or five
senator's. 1t is needless for me to tell
you that delays are dangerous. Time,
tide and the dietary sausage wait for
no man. If yon haven't got S., I'll try
and make So do. Leave your name
and 49,"
"rhe Life of Napoleon
"Never mind the Life of Napoleon
my boy. Napoleon was a great man,
but Major Crofoot wasn't on earth
then. We are not delving in the past,
but digging into the future Where
Napoleon made 800 you'll make So
900. Let others conquer the world by
force of arms If they will, but We'll
conquer 1t by force Of dietary saul
sage. Yon've certainly got So about
you. l want to get the organization
perfected today"
Twelve only got dollar" STAN.
mered the canvasser as he exhibited
the bill.
"Well, I'll take It and make 1t 60 as
far as 1t WILL" replied the major as
the greenback changed hands. you'll
feel safer for having invested money
in the enterprise. Stock will be ready |
in about two weeks. and as soon as |!
we can erect and equip a factory |
you'll begin purchasing stock. Yes,
pll make the dollar do, and you'd bet
ter begin posting up on meats. When
we once get started"-
"But l came UP here to sell you this
bookI
when we once get started, Wen
use up at least 1000 tons per week,
and you must be able to tell at a
glance whether the meat is juicy
enough for our purpose. That's all.
and there you are, and I'll send for
you when the papers are ready to be
signed. think we'll make the ground
floor price on stock 20 cents. but maybe
we can scale that figure down a little.
At any rate, there you are. and you
days are ended. Turn to
the right, please, and good day-good
day."
"But listen a minute. came up here
to sell YOU
"And don't give me away-don't do
It," cautioned the major as he pushed
his caller along. Just keep mum and
saw wood until our patent is secured,
and then we'll jump on the whole
world with both feet and boom dietary
sausage even to the drawing rooms Of
'oyalty. Ground f1oor-$15.00O per
opportunity. Don't miss
t."
A minute later the canvasser found
himself on the street. and when he was
lsked what had happened him that he
ooked so put out he replied:
"Why, | went up to sell man a
1850 subscription book, and I'll be
Hanged If he didn't turn me out and
Jet my only dollar In cash besides!'
NJ nIr.n