The Portland daily press., 1900-09-26

q case of countin chickens fore tn In
cubator had got through with em.
Ha, ha! Purity up to date, that, want
itY"
Remarkably so. I didn't know that
they had issued the new almanac yet"
eyes, indeed. Can't say that / think
much Of 1t, though. Remember tn pic
ture of that man all cut to pieces, don't
your WE'LL that amt on tn front page
no more"
"The deuce! All, well, since this ap-
pendicitls craze everything is being cut
out"
"Reckon that's right" vaguely an
swered the old man. "But, gittin back
to Hen, it wuz a complete case of over
confidence Hen allus wuz that way.
Oncet in tn city he met a feller who
explained that he wuz President Nc
Kinley an wanted to borry So. He told
Hen how he'd been out on a little spree
an wanted to git home 'thout his folks
catchin on. Hen let him have it, an,
don't you know, tn feller want Nc
Kinley at all. But, ez l Wuz sayin, Hen
wuz overconfdent, an jes' bout that
time long came young Giles Simpson
to tn Corner an started in tn barber
business He wuz a fine lookin chap,
with long curly hair that he could
stick two an three combs in an never
have 'em fall out Giles wuz mos eer-
tiny a master hand with tb' girls, al
ways hayin pep'mints in his pocket,
which, besides bein mos wholesome
for tn breath, kind of liven things up
when a young feller goes callin. I'm
mighty fond of pep mint myself an eat
'em all tn time. When 1 visited my
own cousin in th' city, jes' loaded up
on pep'mints, but Johns wife sort of
objected to my munchin 'em in tn par
lor when there wuz company"
"Some people are peculiar" remark
ed the drummer" "Pye known them
to kick on eating pie in the parlor"
"That's sor assented the old man.
"Giles wouldn't eat pie fer breakfast,
remember. Say, but that fellow wuz
way up on top when it come to eti-
Quetty. Never would say Sukey or
Maggie, but allus Susan an Marguerite,
an it gives a gal lot Of pleasure to
have her name stretched out like that.
Well, sir, Giles jes' run away from
Hen like a rabbit afore a prairie fire.
an 1t want long until Sallie threw
Hen over an took Giles for her COM
p'ny. Hen told me conddentiallike, how
ever, that he wuz kind of glad, fer he'd
had to put on a white shirt fer tn we'd
din, an, beln ez he hadn't worn one fer
X b.o 3 4 t,B
rather hard fer him. I remember
when my brother wuz married that he
bought boiled shirt. We wuz oil wait
in down stairs fer him to dress an got
kind Of anxious when an hour went by
'thout him shown up. So we went
after him, an found ole Hank cussin
blue streak an redder'n the face than a
beet You know, bought shirts come
with a bone button in the back already
fastened, an Hank had been tryin to
bust bis head through 'thout unbut-
tonin th' collaE
We'll, Hen kept on farmin, an Giles
kept on barberin an got to be deacon
in tn church. Well, things went along
that way fer quite awhile, an then one
day circus come to town. It wuz a
highly moral show-everything moral
from th' men to tn animals-so tn
whole country turned out. / remember
1t mighty well, fer a renter on my farm
nearly starved himself an his family
to death SOS they could save bacon
money an 90. All Of our folks piled
chairs into wagons an went good an
early. There's lots to see at a circus
afore tn performance begins, an, be-
sides, it gives TIL boys a chance to earn
their way In"
''Who hasn't carried water to the ele-
phantY murmured the drummer"
with a reminiscent CLEAN In his eye.
"And, say" he continued enthusiastic
ally, II think the proudest moment in
my life was when the clown picked me
out Of the crowd to ride the trick don
key. The donkey is meek as a lamb
when the boy rides him, you know, but
when a man gets on him he don't do a .
thing! oh, Lord, but those timesp'
"They didn't have no trick donkey
with this circus" said the old man,
''but they had almos' everything else.
My, but what a crowd there wuz, an a
pretty fine lookin gatherin, If l do say
it ez shouldn't"
"Ahp interjected the drummer"
who had regained his cynical calm.
"People come from other towns, then?"
"Some," answered the bllssfully ig-
norant old man. "Say, but them clowns
wuz funny an purity pathetic too. One
Of 'em sang somethin about An you'll
regret tn day your poor ole father wuz
brought in sorrow to tn grave, an 1t
wuz mos cert'nly fine music. / wuz
almighty disappointed in one part of
tn show an that wuz tn Georgia elec-
trio girl. ! touched her arm when my
wife wuz over lookin at tn elephant,
ON th' man said. do YOU get q shock? !?