The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1900-09-07

but they make the men look longer
Judy.
You can't keep a secret, Marie"
Eyes, can, but l always happen to tell !
things to other girls who can't"-Chi-
cago Record.
XIII that mosquito, why don't your"
II would, you know, but hate to lay
violent hands on my own flesh and
blood."-Life.
Myer-Was Smyth's marriage fail
uref Gyer-Failure isn't name for 1t.
Why. 1t proved to be regular Della
ware peach crop.
1.-THE F'ilipinos haven't any idea what
a humane people we are" mo; they
are being taught, however. that appear
ances are deceitful.
Bill-Did you ever know an amateur
fisherman to tell the truth? Jill-Oh,
yes; 1 heard one tell another that he
was a liar.-Yonkers Statesman.
Charlie Bingle is looking for coat
of arms" ANY successr Yep. He's
found his great-grandfather was a
tailor."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Goodness, John! How queer the
baby looks. l believe he is going to
have a ftr' by George! 1 believe
you are right. Where is my cameraT
It'd Bits.
Nexdoor-I haven't heard your dog
barking at night for some time. Homer
No, guess the poor fellow got discour-
aged. We have twins at our house
now, you know.
Mrs. Van Swamp-William, dear, ais
you have another chill coming on, will
you kindly hold the baby's rattle in
your hand? 1t amuses the sweet pre-
cious so much!-Bazar.
First Country Sport-Where do you
put up when you go to New York?
Second Country Sport-Oh, I'm not a
bit particular; all pawnbrokers look
alike to me."-Exchange.
He-Do you know, darling, that
think 1t makes me better man every
time kiss you. She-Well, at the pace
you are going now there will soon be
no more room for Improvement.
mo sensible girl would elope with
the coachman to-day" "Why, moi
Coachmen are back numbers. She'd
fly with the man who runs the auto
mobile. "-Philadelp Bulletin.
Little Willie-Say, pa, what's a re-
dundancy of expression? Pa-Using
more words than are necessary to ex-
press ones meaning, such as wealthy
iceman," wealthy plumber" etc.
Mr.. Slayer (time, 11:30 p. m.)-Are
you interested liz baseball, Miss De
Jones? Miss De Jones (suppressing a
yawn)-Yes, to a certain extent. l dear
ly love to see a man make home run
occasionally.
A strong recommendation: But sir,
what has your candidate ever done to
deserve the support of the people? ?"
well, for one thing, this is the first
time he has ever run for Office
cago Journal.
Teacher-For what else was julius
Caesar noted? Tommy Tucker (who
had studied the lesson somewhat hast
ily)-His great strength, ma'am. He
threw a bridge across the Rhine.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
, 1.-The goldfish" said the professor
'1ays considerably more than a million
eggs" at is exceedingly lucky for the
Goldfish that she doesn't have to cackle
+ over every egg" said the student who
came from the country.-Tit-Bits.
? Softleigh-I-aw-am WEAKLY. getting
t to be-aw-quite poet doncher know
I Miss Cutting-Indeedl Softleigh-
I Yaws; have a little book in which L
aw-write down me thoughts in whym'
! evahwy night before wetiring. Mis-
Cutting-It will be a volume of blanl
. verse when finished, suppose.
: 81 hope you are one of the peopl
I who can keep cool in the presence o
y danger" 81 am" answered the mai
: who wanted place as private watch
!, man. "Have you ever demonstrated
9 it?" "a have; l once came near beini
o drowned in a skating pond."-Wash
|, ington Star.
: What is the woman's offense" Ssh
= threw brick at a neighbor woman
!, your Honor, and hit man standin
behind her" 1.-The man is guilty Of cor
tributory negligence. If he hadn't bee
o an idiot he would have stood in front o
= her. Case is dismissed. "-Clevelan
Plain Dealer.
"I'u bet a thousand" shouted the e1
cited politician, that the editor ha
no proofs of those damaging stories b
-