davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
HIS MISTAKE.
Au.-,cau Girl Gives an English
man a Little Light ON
Ladies.

A Louisville girl, who was recently IN
Germany, met a young English officer who
was in the same city, and, IN faet, IN the
same house with her for two months, study.
ing German for his promotion. Like most
Europeans he had the usual absurd ideas
about the girls of this country, who, IN the
minds of the untraveled foreigner, are rather
hoyden creatures who smoke and have other
After dinner one day, in the early &C:
ouaintance of the couple, the officer offered
the Louisville girl cigarette, and, upon her
refusing it, he said: ;, -, A..
"Why, 1 thought all the girls In the
United States smoked"
$50 we do" replied the girl, but never
piDe off the mantelpiece in the next room 1
1hall be charmed to smoke with you.
Not suspecting the joke she was playing
on him, the officer brought the pipe and
filed it, and it was not until he saw the wry
faces his friend made in attempting to carry
out the Joke that he appreciated the sltua'
tion. He was cQntinual lly telling the Amerl.
can In a tone of surprise that she was Just
like the girls at home in England and her
rejoinder was:
LADY the world oyer"-Louisville Courier
Journal,
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
barred Ont.

Dashaway-Hello, old man, what
makes you look so sad?
Billboard (the tragedian)--A friend
of mine who lives in a town in Connec-
necticut has asked me there to take
dinner with him, and can't go.
Dashaway-Why not?
Billboard acted there last month.
Harlem Life
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

That the Cuticura remedies are all that could be desired
for the alleviaon of the suffering of skintortured in
fants and children and the comfort Of WORKOUT worried
mothers has been demonstrated in countless homes IN
every land Their absolute safety purity and sweetness
instantaneous and grateful relief speedy cure and great
economy leave nothing to be desired by anxious
parents Evidence Is found In the of letters received
from grateful parents testyng to the ncacuable bene
fits they have derived from the of these preparations
in the treatment OF infante skin and scalp disorders
There is ring of truth and sincerity about the testmo
mails here submitted that stamps them genuine and when
mother writes, as does Mrs. E. Butler Of 1888 Third
Avenue, Brooklyn, N Y, in simple grateful language,
of the good Cuticura has accomplished in her home,
parents everywhere must regard these remedies house
hold necessities Mrs. Butler says:-
"Ny oldest boy age years. troubled with
parts the body especially the Leg about twenty -four
about the size of hvecent piece and would
my former experience with my girl
remedies did not bother with the doctor in this but
bea & o 1 the babV and @ ee S BEING the on
troubled with anything like this mentioned, but thanks
CUrcURA remedies they are all now in perfect health
What can be more convincing to mother than the
following graphic letter from Mrs. J. c. Freese Of 300
South First Street, Brooklyn, n. Vt
"My baby % began to suffer
would do him good even called in the doctor but used his
medicine to no did not know what to do with him He
cried all the time and his face equal piece of
horrible looked as there never was any skin on it.
had carry him around pillow. fairly discouraged
then recommended to CUTcuRA remedies The first
cUT1cuR1 Ointment not h of Soar
at the end of short week baby entirely cured There
has been trace of since. To-day his skin
and soft piece of silk"
Another remarkable instance of the effectiveness of
the Cucura remedies found in the terrible experience
of the baby daughter of Mr. r. A. Lapham 111H West
Side Square, Springfield, Ill. Mr.. Lapham writes as
folows:-
"Our little daughter troubled from her birth with
arms hands, break out pimpes
which would swell and become terribly nnamed water would
like great beads of perspraton finally this would dry and
the skin would and peel off, terribly
soft mens her hands to keep scratching We
two of leading physicians good trial but neither of them
helped her in the least purchased CUTCURA SOAP CCTCURA
Ointment and CUTcURA REsoLENT She improved at and
is troubled although less
REsoLvENT three boxes of CUT1cURA and CUTCURA SOAP
In few forcefu words Mrs. G. Brand of Conesville,
n. Y, vvidly portrays experience common to many
mothers, and her letter. which follows is full of comfort
and encouragement for anxious parents: -
two this winter boy began break with
se RASH nearly covered his back and calves heard
glowing of CUTCURA remedies and thought
Three cakes CUTICURA SOAP
bottle of CUEICURA REsoLvENT cured him. think them
wonderful remedies"
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
rr.n Of Her Own Setting.

We have all met people whose pride in
their possessions is so great that they can SEQ
no charms in those of others. A young bota-
mist was showing party of ladies. and gen:
tlemen through a conservatory of some Of
the choicest plants. Among the visitors was
a would.be young-looking, middle-aged lady
who at every description volunteered the
statement that the plants and flowers she
lad at home were quite the equal of any.
thing here or indeed anywhere.
Just as they were passing giant cactus
she was heard to exclaim:
"Well, this is nothing extraordinary.
have a cactus at home that is still larger.
planted and reared it myself"
"Reared it yourself?" the professor
Fently observed. How remarkable! This
becimen is 63 years old, and if yours is still
larger"
The lady did not stay to hear any more,
but executed a strategic movement to the
rear.-Phiadelphi Press.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
Then She Called the Dog.

Miss Sourface Ito tramp)-Did you
ever have a romance in your life?
Tramp-Yes, mum; 1 had a sweet
heart once dat looked like you.
Miss Sourface (setting out another
piece of pie)-And did she die?
Tramp-No, mum. Me fadder wanted
me to marry her, so I run away from
home.-Baltimore American.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
Facts
For Sick
Women

first tho medicine that
tb0Lds the record for the
largest number Of ahs0-
lutte Cures of female Ills
is Lydia e. Pink1an1'S
Negotiable Compound.
Sec0nd-MrS. PEnkkSan1
oan show by her letter
files In Lynn that q mill
Hon women have been
restored to health by her
s1padICLre and advice.
I ThEf,d-AHIeff0s,S TO Mrs.
PfnkhanI are received,
Opaned, read and an
swered by women only.
This fact IS certified to by
the mayor and E7OSfs'1as-
ter of Lynn and others OF
Mrs. PLnEtkasS1,s own city.
Write for free book con-
tanning these certificates.
Every aiIing woman Is
Invited to write to Mrs.
Pinkl1an1 and get her ad-
vice free of Charge
-, N p.-LL.-. Ma 20 T.vnn Maaa
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
The Craving for stimulantr.

This question has lately attracted great
deal of attention from the medical profession.
The use of stimulants seems to be increasing.
This clearly shows an exhausted condition Of
the nerves and blood, which maybe RENE
died only. by strengthening the stomach.
Hostetter's Stomach BitteTs will do this for
you. 1t brings all the energy of stimulant
with no injurious effect. It cures dyspepsia
constipation and nervousness.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
EnrFfsh m She Is smoke

Mrs. Brown-Our language is full of mis-.
nomers. For instance, met man once who
was a perfect bear, and they called him o
civil engineer.
Mrs. Smith-Yes, but that is not so ride.
ulous as the man they call teller" in a
bank. He won't tell you anything. / asked
one the other day how much money Mr.
Jones had on deposit, and he just laughed at
me.-Collier's Weekly.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
A Necessary Requisite.

Dorothy had never seen any pump
kin pic until her first visit to the
country, and to her grandmother's
asking her if she'd have a piece the
little girl replied: mo, thank you.
1 never eat pie without roof on it."
Judge,
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
Private.

The young man tried TO kiss the girl.
And she, fearing he might fail,
Did just what he intended to
She gently drew the veil.
Chicago Daily News
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
A NOCfurne.

/ would 1 were a gentle owl,
Then none would say me nay
II all the night chose to prowl
And slept the livelong day.
Washington Star.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
A Mechanical ReUIV,

Judge-And what did the prisoner
say when you told him that you would
have him arrested?
Complainant-He answered mechan-
ically, yer honor.
Judge-Explain.
Complainant-He hit me on the
head with a hammer.-Tit-Bits.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
ttiF5l511f II =
Domestic Tragedy.

Mrs. Grimes-How in the world do
you get rid of your stale bread? l
have to throw lots of mine away.
Mrs. Smarte-There's no need for
you to do that. Why not do as l do?
l just hide it away from the children.
Mrs. Grimes-Hide it away from the
children? What then?
Mrs. Smarte-Then the children find
it, and eat up every morsel of it.-Tit-
BITS.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

There is more Catarrh in this section Of
The country than all other diseases put to.
Eether, and until the last few years was
supposed to be incurable. For great many
Tears doctors pronounced it local disease,
and prescribed local remedies, and by con.
Aantly failing to cure with local treatment,
pronounced it incurable. Science has proven
fatarrh to be constitutional disease, and
therefore requires constitutional treatment.
Halls Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J.
constitutional cure on the market. 1t is
iaken internally in doses from 10 drops to a
seaspoonful. 1t acts directly on the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system. They
sffer one hundred dollars for any case it
fails to cure. Send for circulars and testi.
nonials Address F. J. Cheney & Co., To-
edo, o. Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
Wonderful Prosperity.

New York Mani hear you've had
prosperous times in the west
Ohio MAXWELL, / should say 50!
Why, potatoes grew SO large this year,
that they're mistakin' 'em for pump
kins.-Yonkers Statesman.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

Lord Potsoftin-Do you know what
happened at your dance last night? ?
No? Well, I'll tell you. I'm going to
take away your sister. Does that sur
prise you?
Tommy-No fear! Why, mother said
it was to on about your popping; Sis
said it was skies; dad laid to against
and I had bet on at evens!-Ally
Sloper.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

1t is mistake to mark the silverwars with
the family name. An Atchison man eats pie
with his fingers becanse when he uses bis
fork, he is reminded that his wife's second
husband was named Bnrris, and when he
uses knife, he sees Smith, the name of her
first husband, on the handle. - AtshisOn
Globe.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
Borrows Everything Else.

"Shortleigh is always cheerful-never
borrows trouble"
"He has to draw the line somewhere" !"
N. Y. Journal.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
Smoke.

The chimneys that loom up 50 high
Are like the men we know:
Outlines there's lots of smoke above,
And little fire below.
Chicago Times-Herald.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

Nippon-"Hear sboat Clark being6na rail
road accident? Badly hurt, too" Tuck
,"Will he recovery" Nippon-"Well, don't
tor says he can't. t."-TOwn Topics.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
DfafinCfiOn.

II don't blame you for discharging
your maid" said the friend. "She
wasn't worth her salt"
"All that 1 objected to-" said Miss
Cayenne, "was her fiery temper. She
was worth her salt, but she wasn't
worth her pepper."-Washington Star.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
EXnIa1ned.

Knicker - Wonder why Cholly's so
popular with the girls? He can't even
express himself.
Bocker-No; but his father can pay
the freight!-Puck.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
A Mans Revenge.

"'Mrs. Skinner has had to give up
all the five clubs she belongs to-"
HAS she nervous prostration?"
mo; but every time she went out
of the house her husband moved all
the furniture around. d."-Indianapolis
Journal,
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
His Thinker.

He-I always say what think.
She-Oh! Then that must be the rea-
son that you often sit around for an
hour at time without saying word
Chicago Times-Herald.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
A Mistake.

Gladys-I thought you said he was
rich2
Mildrcd-Oh, no! l merely said he
had more money than brAins.-Chi-
cago Times-Herald.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

Points of View.--The SOIL" remarked
the economist, "is what supports U.s." Here
the lawyer admitted that land is the cause
of three-fourths of tAe litigation, while the
doctor did not deny, that effluvia from the
.Ionrna1
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

BELVA A. LOCKWOOD LATE UANDIDAhI y. Tti4 WI III n % tb
candidate for the % @ @
and fortCne In letter to The
PerunaM Medicine Company, she says;
have ud your boh for myself and MOTHER Mrs.
Hannah Bennett IN her S8h year and fn6 an rOaaa0
eI r coH catarr hay ver kindred Diseases also good tonic
for feeble people, those don and th nereS n4sg
YonrS truiy. BefUa AZ LocRzoood.
of
hundred catarr OF
of
of they at
of
Medicine Co. Columbus Ohio
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
The Two ,FIuenees.

"It's influence that counts in poll
tics" said the voter.
"Yes," answered the practical poll
tician; "but not so much as afiuence."
Washington Star.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
Judeing by Appearances.

Tommy-Say, Jimmie, wot is classic
81 music2
Jimmie-It's the kind you can't un-
derstand unless you wear long hair
V. Y. Journal.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
A Crafty Fellow.

First Girl-There goes Mrs. Newly
wed; her husband is so careful of her
health that he will not allow her to go
shopping on a wet day. -
Second Girl-Hum! he probably
fears she might get near enough to
the counters to buy something
Judge.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
A Few Lines.

Ida-Sometimes a few lines will
cause a woman no end of worry.
May-Yes; especially if they happen
to be in her face.-Chicago Daily
News.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
Trust Conference.

He tried to stand off the grocery
For some sugar and ham and a pound Of
tea,
But the grocer said Nit,
No trust-not bit,
I'm an antitrust advocate-seeT"
Baltimore American.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
UnuSUal..

Dora-I wonder why Ernest has
never thought seriously of getting
married?
Fred-.Perhaps he has thought of it
too serioGsly.-Brooklyn Life.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
AlWaYa Busy.

Hewitt-Gruet has an eye to busi-
ness.
Jewett-Yes; one eye to his own and
two to other people's.-Town Topics.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
In Vino Veritas.

A corkscrew boasted of it's pull
Unto a bottle that was full.
The bottle said: You must confess
It's owing to your crookedness."
Chicago Record.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

The Best Prescription for ChiIls
and Fever is bottle Of GRovR'STAsrELEss
CHILL Tonic. tits simply iron and 4rinine in
atasteless form. No cure-no pay Price, 20"
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
About the Size of IT.

The giddy young man very early In life
Falls ia love with each girl he sees;
He no sooner gets down on MS lip
Than he also gets down on his knees.
-ChicaKo Daily News,
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

Whats the matter with your head Blk
by" "Been bHcAing the line" '1INhat!
At your age?' "Yep. Somebody lat il ont
all night in the baek yard and I didn't see
it"-Clevelapd Plain Dealer
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

It is doubtful ifr&nyone ever had real
friend, therefore be your own friand- and
take care of your interests and youR reputa.
Eon-Atchison Globe.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

Athletic ArdoT. - Rertie-"Mother, viii
you take me to see the football game this
afternoon" M9ther-"No, daring; but if
you are a good boy mother will let yea help
her clean her bicycle. Fun.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
ForestaIIins Accidents.

Severe Father-Clara, what is the
meaning of the diamond ring on your
finger?
Clara-Oh, it is a sign that Harry
has something to ask you that it win
do no good to refuse.-Jeweler's
Uaa1,1u
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

If most men ware as apt at starting bank
accounts as they are at starting arguments
the world would be full of capitalieSs.-Chi
sano DisHatch
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

W .lker Dyes Ceiling of his success)
During the second act the audience
arose in body.
Friend-Gee! Didn't any of 'em
come back for the next act, old man,
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

Sunday School Teacher lin CAieago)-
"Why did the wise men come from the
east" Bright Because they were
wise men. n."-Philadelph Record
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

New Wife-'T wish to get some butter,
please" Dealer-"Roll butter, ma am? ?"
New Wife-"No! We wish to eat it on bis
IN. o. Times Democrat.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

Dropsy treated free by DR.. H. H. Green's
6ons, of Atlanta, Ga. The greatest dropsy
specialists In the world. Read their adver.
Esement ii another column of this paper.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
A MeddIesome Amateur.

"Uncle Bill, what is political love feast ?"
"Well, it is when big lot of politicians
get together and pledge themselves to keep
outsiders from getting on to their scraps."-
Indianapolis journal.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

Lots of young men get into bad deals be-
cause their fathers have lots Of money to
help them into them. - Washington Ua)
Democrat
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

The great objection to hypocrisy is, that it
Is not necessary. No man ever praotiosd it
successfully-Atohis0n Globe.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

Antiquatea wise saws do not turn to saw,
dust, but it would be good thing IS some Of
them did.-ChicaSo Daily News.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

A bachelor says that widows weep not be-
sause of the loss of a husband, but because Of
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

Explosions of Coughing are stopped by
Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar.
Pikes's Toothache Drops Cure in emir ute.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

Satisfactory efnition.-Preferred cred
nors are those that don't call too often
Kansas City Star.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

Piso's Cure for Consumption has no equal
2 Cough medicine:--F. M, Abbott, 383
Beneca ST., Buffalo, n. Y, May 9, 1894.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
The Old MANS ouerx.

$50 you want to marry my daughter"
eyes, sir"
"Do you smoker"
"N-o, SIR"
'"Take her! Pve married off si1 daughters,
and all the husbands have particular fond
ness for my brSad of cigars. You're nov
elty."-Syracuse Herald.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
IT'S GENIAL WARMTH.

Old Lady-Aren't you cold, little
boy?
Boy-Nit! Dis cigar keeps me COM
tortable.-N. Y. World.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
Didn't Laugh with the Rest.

Jones-What were the boys all
laughing so heartily over?
Brown-Smith got off one of his
jokes.
Jones-Why didn't you laugh with
the rest?
Brown-It was on me.-Ohio State
Journal.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27
A Cau.e of Action.

"Uxory has sued Soaksem, the fur
her, for alienating his wife's affec-
tions."
"You don't mean it! Why, didn't
suppose Mrs. Uxory ever knew him"
"She doesn't. But he exhibited the
finest sealskin ever in this town in his
window, and she won't speak to Tx
cry because he won't buy it for her,"
IN. Y. World.
Both Modest.
Why cry for the moon, my wee laddie?
Is there, then, of toys such dearth?
Why, child, you want more than your
daddy,
For he only asks for the earth.
Detroit Free Press.
Pine Bluff weekly herald., 1900-01-27

To euro q Gold In Ono Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money lfit fails to cure. ESQ.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-05-22
Hundreds are Daily Awaiting
Themselves of this Excep.
tional Opportunity.

For the past few weeks the people Of Washing.
ton have been afforded an opportunity of testing
discovery in medicine, which has utilized the
force of electricity in manner never applied be-
fore. Prof. Munyon has been the first 10 give the
benefits of this remarkable discovery to the res
fdents of the national capital. He has brought
here his leading specialist on lung. kidney and
nervous diseases and who is physician partic-
ularly well versed in all that is curative in cleo,
trica1 science This expert has at his command
one Of the best static machines ever constructed.
and which has been equipped with an appliance
that will send the most powerful medicines to the
very seat Of intricate and puzzling diseases: This
discovery has created great sensation in Europe,
and since its Introduction In America the cures
that have been made have attracted the attention
of the entire medical world. It has been pariic,,
ularly successful in treating lung troubles, and
may prove a blessing indeed TO those afflicted with
consumption 1t has also been most benefcfally
employed in cases Of kidney troubles and various
ailments arising from deranged condition Of the
nerves. An earnest invitation Is extended to every
body to call at the Munyon office and personally
see what this discovery is. All welcome. All
will receive the most courteous attention. Mum
yon's doctors ARE FREE. Nothing is asked, either
for examination or the most painstaking advice
II you have ache pain, consult them. II you
do not require medicine they will frankly tell you
So and If your ailment need hut simple remedy.
that simple remedy will be prescribed COME AT
ANY TINE; THE DOORS ARE OPEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-05-22
.loes," produced by fifty eight-pound rock

cts. H.,
Succeeding these effects will be the fol-
lowing: ~.
tinct combinations, device, THE Halt in
the Desert" representing wandering trlpe
at rest at an oasis, with the pyramids ana
Sphinx in the distance: flight OF hfty nomos.
orange and green: salvo of ten thirty-inch
repeating bombs each with six, eight ana
ten changes, making at least eighty sep
arate displays Of exquisite tints and eie
fectsi ten eight-pound rockets. rover VI
aerolites; ten eight-pound rockets, Full
yama; ten eigkt-pound rockets, eagle
screams: ten eight-pound rockets cornu-
copia, device. mammoth silver nre wheei
with intersecting centers, changing to re-
yolving scrolls, changing to electric tame
cutting q circle of fire $50 feet in diameter
ten golden shower batteries: ten Italian
bombettes; magical illumination OF the 1ol OIL
age near the White House Lot with 500
pounds of prismatic illuminant; flight OF
twenty-five bombs, opening red, changing
to white. finishing in blue: salvo OF ten
thirty-six-inch bombs Indian luggiery.
liquid fire, weeping willow. ETC.; the silver
falls, a continued pouring down OF one soma
mass Of liquid, dazzling, shmmering silver,
800 feet long by seventy-fve feet hlgh;
aerial novelties, including the Eastern star
La Belle France. the Comet and k1smet,
which are all of this season 1900 production,
and will be given for the first time in pub
lie at Washington. The Field of the Cloth
of Gold will be produced by the electrlc
discharge of twenty shells exhibiting gold
en- stars, emitting glittering spangles
There will he a salvo of Pains fifty-inch
bombs, the largest and most perfect bombs
ever displayed, and the final device Will be
the Emblem of the Mystic Shrine" in her
aldic colors. with appropriate motto to be
selected. THE Shriners Bouquet will be
produced by the flight of 1,0o large rock
cts bearing stars of orange and green. The
display will close with Goodnight" and
grand fight of rockets.