New-York tribune., 1900-03-16
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

large American business firm I'm Chin Kang.
China, having branch houses in Hankow. Cheefoo.
Nankng. London, Manchester and New-York, has
written letter to Senator Mason Of Illinois. from
which the following extract is taken: "As an
American firm we are grieved 10 learn that a mem
be- OF our august Senate made such statements
Feferring TO Senator Mason's recent anti Engls n
utterances). We may safely remark that all
Americans In the Far East the side OF
Great Britain. the dear old Mother Country and
this is shown by donations to the British war
fund. The women have also prepared suitable
articles for the British soldiers in South Africa.
A clipping inclOsed will show you that American
women are doing their very best in the same direc-
ton. The American policy should be
Stand by Great Britain as in doing We stand
by country. For In the future II Is
against the Old World. We may add that the Old
World despotisms dislike the United States much
as they do Great Britain"
"Ah. but there's money in literature" sighed
the young man who was trying to earn living
Yes. there is said the great lard rehner. My
ve paid @ o bsV bem Ht @
got a cent out OF them so far."-(Chicago Times
A pet monkey belonging to a of the Rev. w.
G Herbert. pastor of the Caroline Street Meth
odist Church. of Baltimore. got INTO the study OF
the clergyman the other evening, opened 81 volume
OF the Encyclopedia Britannica, and six
teen pages OF the article on Darwn's Origin OF
IL
1t was examining 1t with great apparent delight
when the clergyman returned and put a stop to
the proceedings.
PA. why Is spring called spring."
Don't bother me. Jimmy
"Soze folks won't go round thinkin it's winter"
indianapolis Journal.
The Rev. Dr. Edwin A. Schell. of Chicago for
merly General Secretary OF the Epworth League
has brought suit for $4,000 damages against the
Rev. Charles Parkhurst, of Boston, publisher OF
"Zion's Herald the Rev. b. c. Jennings Western
agent OF the Methodist Book Concern. and the
Rev. Joseph Berry Editor of The Epworth
Herald" for conspiracy. The charge is based on
the statement that the three defendants attempted
to drive DR.. Schell out of the Methodist Church.
and incidentally to deprive him OF his position
secretary of the Epworth League. with the loss
of the accompanying annual salary OF 81 eco. The
trouble arose from controversy royalties
a song book published by the Methodist Book
Concern.
He-Darling II you to die. I should be un-
done ] am sure there would be nothing for me
she-Nonsense! There are plenty of other women
in the world you could turn to.
He-Yes; that is the only consolation 1 have
when think l may lose you.-(Boston Transcript.
During recent sharp skirnish" says THE
Sphere IAN English officer in South Africa
noticed that one of his guns In danger. Call
ing an officer TO his side he requested him to go
and help Captain A to try and bring IL in Pardon
he added. as the officer turned to obey. perhaps.
Mr.. b, you do not know A Mr.. B had not the
pleasure. III introduce you. then-charmng fei-
low A. said his ordship and. regardless of burst
ing shells and puffs of dirt which marked the
pitch of bullets all around them he cantered along
the hillside with Mr.. B. Captain A. let me in
troduce Mr. b. Mr.. B-Captain A. will lend you
hand TO bring in that gun; hope neither of you
will be knocked over doing IT. ,"
LENTEN SACRIFICE
Tha rnrld aDd daSh ~ for+-
must renounce: shall myself deny 81 0S'
All luxury and pomp and vanity,
For this is Lent.
For me no more ten-cent cigars shall burn
All such extravagances / shall spurn:
humble corncob pipe shall serve my turn
This present Lent.
1 shall give up my daily streetcar ride
And walk instead. TO mortify pride,
Ten cents ,u a day thus saved s6 III lay aside
s as5 rnss sons s% 3 fpf m RsTs to to
So that for that do not really care
One copper cent
No little suppers following the show
With toothsome Holsters and lie izz Clicquot-
For this is Lent.
For this is Lent and I know shortly that
It's either strict retrenchment a spat
That's evident
-(Chicago Record
At the Durham England) Assizes. recently. the
plaintiff in a trifng a deaf woman. and
after little the Judge suggested that the counsel
should get his client to compromise it, and to ask
her what she would take to settle 1t. The counsel
thereupon shouted very loudly TO his client:
His lordship wants to know what you will take?''
She smilingy replied: Il thank his lordship kind
ly. and II it's no Inconvenience him I'll take
little warm ale"
Did you ever hear Of the joke which got Dan
Rice the most famous OF all circus clowns his first
No-what was it?'
What salary do you want?' asked the manager
e fy You Dn What III T do said % the manage sPse Da"
Well, speak quickly returned Dan, I'm losing
IN I'll give 4Is,i you 81, s. Sos yeek .,,..
Journal
The Rev DIR. F. W. Hamilton. OF the Universalist
Church, Roxbury. Mass, has placed paid adver-
tisements OF his church in the streetcars of Rox-
bury and in the OF the Boston az" Road
distant, distant this eyss9ing she asked Are You
He said nothing but her gaze followed his. and
with blush she got up and carried the parrot
Eyer my ,,hg9gghsfq Hs.Sd" she said That
A builder in Glasgow recently having heard tha,
his men did not start work at the proper time
thought that he would drop down about $50 some
morning TO see Going UP the yard he caught
sight of Joiner standing smoking. with his k,
unopened. Simply asking his name, which he
found to be Malcolm Campbell, he called him into
the office and. handing him four days paw told
him to leave at once. After having seen the man
clear out o. the yard he went up TO the foreman
and told him he had made an example OF MaIcoI,,
Campbell by paying him on FOR not starting ar
the proper time.
Great Scott" exclaimed the foreman that cha,
was only looking for job'
Inconsistent-''You keep me waiting so ,,.
the customer 81 ions'
Madam, said the worried grocar wAo -