davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
Poverty Of Farmers' Lives,

The poverty of the lives of these pros
porous farmers was a revelation to me,
even, accustomed as was to domestic
simplicity which would surprise mod
ern Americans of any degree. New
books were a luxury none of them in
dulged in; beyond the Bible and two
or three volumes of general Informal
ton there was no reading beyond
weekly newspaper, and the diet was
such as had never been used to, even
at DE Ruyter. But for the vegetables
of the farm, sailors at sea would fare
better than these landsmen. In later
years boarded with one of the farm
ers in an adjoining valley, where was
engaged in painting cascade of great
beauty, and for the six weeks lived
in the family saw only two small ar
ticles % animal food-salt mackerel
for breakfast and salt pork for dinner.
The narrowness of intellectual range
and the bigotry-political and religious
prevailing amongst them was such
as had in no experience ever encoun-
tered, even in the "straitest sect of the
Pharisees," the Seventh Day Baptist
church of my youth.-W. J. Stillman,
Atlantic.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
BURMESE BOYS ROMANCE.
Falls in Love with AZ Equestrienne,
Ia Spurned and Comes to This
Country to Drown His Grief.

Peter Bacon, a handsome Burmese
hoy ~ years old, Who~speaEs English
and several other languages fluently,
is detained at the barge Office at New
York as a stowaway. He came on the
steamship Bucentaun, which arrived
from Port Said and is low locked in
Brooklyn. Notwithstanding his name,
the boy is full-blooded Burmese. Al
though only II years old, he has seen
much of the world, and was animal
keeper for several years with the
Abadie travelling menagelie and circus.
He has had experience in dealing with
lions, tigers, leopards, panthers and the
dangerous;reptiles Of India. i@.,:, -
While with the circus he fell in love
with an equestrienne, but his suit was
spurned with scorn. The, climax came
at Port Said, when he was called a bow
and told that he was acting ridiculously.
He left the circus and resolved to come
to this country to assuagehis grief. He
did so, and now is detained at the barge.
Office, and will be until he pays a fine
of ten dollars for coming as stow
away.
The boy is anxious to ind two Bur-
mese jugglers whom he believes 10 be
in New York city. 1t is thought that
his Burmese acquaintance. live in East
Twenty-sixth street, and he hopes they
will pay his fine, as he has no money.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
A Homelike Plac~.

Eyes, we get into county jails occa-
sionally," said the tramp, "but the
trouble is they don't keep us long
enough. A Jail is homelike place, with
plenty to eat, no work and good treat
ment. We are generally sentenced for
three months, but after about four
weeks the sheriff picks out three or four
of us and says:
SNOW, boys, them iron bars on that
winder is loose and it's going to be a
dark night. Hev some ambition about
YOU
IAN old tramp knows what that
means, and he is ten miles away before
daylight. A tenderfoot figgers to stay
on, and next morning the sheriff comes
in and finds him there and says:
"'What, hain't you got no ambition!
Then I'll give you sonnet and he boots
him out into the yard and sets him to
promenadin' around with a log fastened
to his leg.-Chicago Evening News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
MY WIFE.

Come sit down here beside me, little wife.
That work can wait. There-this is COM
fort. home
Has duty been so pressing down below
That you must leave your husband here
alone?
But I've been working, too. See what I've
done?
See all that manuscript upon the floor
And desk and table? I was dreaming
though.
OF you, sweet, when heard you at the
door.
Five years Of welded life. Your little hand.
How white and soft 1t Is. I'll hold it here
Close, lest 1t get away. Five welded years,
And they've been full Of comfort for US.
dear.
I used to sit and dream Of married life,
And try to fancy what home would be
With me, and just one person there beside
Who'd call me husband and sit upon my
knee.
And always love me. That was years ago,
Before l knew you. sweetheart, ere you
To weave your witching wiles about my
And lead me helpless by captive chain.
But now 1 dream no longer. for know
That when God planned to bless our hui
man lot,
He made a home-just such a home as
ours
Lest Eden's paradise should be forgot.
You say you must go? Well then, one more
kiss.
Don't stay so long away another time.
There, say again you love me. Now, good
by,
And may God bless this little wife of
mine!
-Morda Stevens, in N. w. Christian Ad-
VOcate
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
TRIAL BY FARCE.
The Methods Employed in the Drey-
fus Case Find n Parallel in CAL
Ice in Wonderland"

There is delicious bit of court non
sense in "Alice in Wonderland" that
bears striking similarity to the Sc
rious but almost as peculiar trial of
Dreyfus. A recent writer has made the
clever parallel:
''There's more evidence to come vet.
please your majesty" said the White
Rabbit, jumping up in great hurry
"This paper has just been picked up"
What is it," said the queen.
II haven't opened it yet" said the
White Rabbit, "but it seems to be a
letter written by the prisoner TOTO
somebody"
''Who is it directed to-" said one of
the jurymen.
ut isn't directed at ALL" said the
White Rabbit. "In fact, there's moth.
ing written on the outside" He un.
folded the paper as he spoke, and add
ed: 1T isn't letter, after all; it's a
set of verses"
Are they in the prisoners hand.
writing?" asked another of the jury
men.
mo, they're not" said the White Rab-
bit, land that's the queerest thing
about it,
(The jury all looked puzzled.)
III must have initiated somebody
else'S hand" said. the king.
(The jury all frightened up again.)
please, your majesty" said the
knave, II didn't write it, and they can't
prove did; there's no name signed at
the end"
IF you didn't sign it," said the king,
shat only makes the matter worse.
You must have meant some mischief, or
else you'd have signed your name like
an honest man,
''Let the jury consider their verdict"
the king said, for about the twentieth
time that day.
mo, no." said the queen; "sentence
frst-verdict d.''-Cincinnati
ENQUIRER.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23

the following year he was made COM
missioner of the general land Office, and
in 1892 he was made chairman of the
republican national committee. In
1894 he was elected to the senate, md
is now an honored member of that
body.
In 1879 Chester A. Arthur was re-
moved from the position of collector Of
the port of New York, and was politi-
cally disgraced. In 1880 he was NOM
mated and elected vice president, and
in 1881 he became president of this re-
public.
These are only few of the illustra-
tons from real life which were given
by the wise old observer of events, and
as they fell from his lips they were
deliberately discoursed upon to show
that ''in the worlds bright lexicon of
youth there's no such word as fall"
if men and women will but keep their
courage, faith and hope brightenedshIy
determination. The text was also
quoted: Whatsoever thy hand fndeth
to do, do it with thy might"
The pathway to success was never
"a primrose path of dalliance," and it
is a sleeper path to-day than ever be-
fore, because of the competition in this
seething world of selfshness. But they
who toll will win. Bacon says that
linen must know that in this theater
of mans life it remaineth only to God
and the angels to be lookers-on," which
is a strong way of putting the state
ment that the genius of labor alone
produces success. No man may model
his life upon that of another. But every
man may be sure that the universal
law of success demands toll and cour-
age. Every man who starts upon the
ocean of life arches his sails to an I'M
tried and unsteady breeze. Like Cole
ridges mariner, ''he is the first that
ever burst into that lonely sea-
The wise words which an old states
man has uttered to the writer in Wash
ington may be of little avail, unless
they carry with them the lesson sug-
gested, that in every village, town or
city there are wise men and women
whose society should be sought by
young men and women, because every
one who has lived long in the land has
observed similar events about him, and
can repeat them in an interesting and
encouraging manner to those who are
trimming their sails for life's voyage.
SMITH D. FRY.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23

elected vice president, and came to
Washington to preside over the senate
which had declined to confirm him to
subordinate position.
William Jennings Bryan was de-
feated for congress in 1894 and had
hard time earning living for his wife
and children. But two years later he
was nominated by great political
party for the highest office in the gift
of the people, and ever since he has been
a commanding figure in national af-
fairs. His defeat for congress may
have been bitter blow to him, and the
world must have looked dark, but he
kept on working and hoping.
In 1890 William Mckinley was de-
feated for congress, and his public ca
reer seemed to have closed. But he kept
on working and striving. Four years
later he was nominated for the presi-
dency, and was elected to that high Of
fee. When he was defeated for con-
gress the world may have looked
gloomy to him, but he kept on working
and striving and success came at last.
In 1888 Grover Cleveland was defeat
ed for the presidency and badly defeat
ed, because the state of Ne w York, in
which he had resided for many years,
cast its electoral vote against him. But
he kept on struggling and hoping, and
four years later he was elected to the
presidency, having three successive
times secured the nomination of his
party.
Isham G. Harris, the confederate war
governor of Tennessee, at the close of
the civil war secretly departed from
that state, carrying with him about
half million dollars in gold, belonging
to the state. He went to Mexico, and
the legislature of Tennessee denounced
him and set price upon his head. Five
years later, when political conditions
were such that he could do so, he re-
turned to that very state, bringing with
him the money which he had taken
away for safe keeping. Then the leg
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23

He looked as If he felt mighty COM
Portable under the warm bedding.
bath, hey?" mumbled Mr.. Gibson,
when Mrs. Jobson had left the room.
"Well, s'pose I've got to-"
He got up, looked out of the window
at the cold, drear prospect, shivered
visibly, put ON his bathrobe, and went
out of the bathroom. He looked at
the water in the tub with no apparent
enthusiasm, and then he put his hand
in it.
"Jimini!" he exclaimed, withdraw
ing his hand with considerable sudden
ness. Then he put one of his feet in the
tub.
"Br-r-r-r-r-but that's frigid!" Mrs.
Jobson, who wasn't far away, heard
him calculate. Then he put the other
foot in.
well, it's heroic treatment, all
right" Mr.. Jobson was heard by Mrs.
Jobson to humble to himself. Then
she heard terrific splash, that remind
ed her of the tank fun of captured
walrus she had once seen, followed by
snorts and gurgles and chokings and
gaspings, and then three minutes of
stertorous breathing, with some in
distinct mumbling at intervals. a
couple of minutes later Mr.. Jobson ap-
peared in his bathrobe.
"Jinglebells, eh?" said he to Mrs.
Jobson with the look of u conquering
hero. '"Thought he had me topped,
didn't you: Well, if there's anything
else that you think Jinglebells can do
that I can't do, just jot it down, will
you, please, Mrs. Jobson, and I'll at
tend to it,
did you enjoy your bath?" in
quired Mrs. Jobson, with the straight
est face in the world.
Enjoy it? Ireveled in it! It's what
I've been needing for 2Oyears. It's just
imagination, this fear people have of
jumping into a tubful of cold water in
the winter time-pure imbecile imag-
ination. Once the plunge's made, and
you're all right. I love it, and If you
ever catch me taking warm bath tgain
you'll know I'm not in my right mind"
1t was bitter cold the next morning,
too, and when Mrs. Jobson shook Mr..
Jobson awake and told him his cold
bath was waiting for him he looked as
if he might, under other circumstances,
say some things to her. But he got up
again and went out to the bathroom,
where he repeated the performance of
the morning before. His gurgings and
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
oKLAHoMA,s Y. WOMEN.
A New Yorker Returns with = story
of a Smart One from His
Own State.

"A New YORK grain man went down to
Oklahoma last month and brought back
a choice collection of territory stories.
THE thing that impressed me most,
outside of the grain business" he said,
was the practical ability of the wom-
en- down there. I've heard a great deal
about the clever business women here
in New York, but never happened to
come in contact with any of them. In
Oklahoma about half my business was
done with the women. You see, when
that country was opened up, hundreds
OF women ran for claims, got them, cul-
tivated them and are working them to-
day. A woman who can do that sort of
thing is bound to have hard horse
sense, if she hasn't culture, and what
those women don't know about running
farms isn't worth reporting to the de-
partment of agriculture. Most of them
are northern women; and, by the way,
the sharpest piece of business practice
l heard of was worked by girl from
western New York. She wasn't down
there at the time of the run; but he1
brother-in-law staked a claim down
near Guthrie, and, after awhile, the
New York girl went to visit her sister.
Young women were scarce around
that part of the country, but young
men were as plentiful as blackberries
in June. There was young fellow on
each quarter section of land, for miles
around. The New York girl wasn't so
very young, but she was fairly good
looking; and, after she had been there
week, there was usually long line of
cow ponies hitched to the brother-in-
laws front fence, and the girl was hav-
ing the time of her life. She made up
her mind she'd like to live in Okla
homa, and some 20 or 80 young men
made up their minds they'd like to have
her live in Oklahoma.
The two finest farms in the country
were about five miles from her brother.
'n-law's, and lay side by side. There
were living springs ON them and some
shade, and the two owners were fine
young fellows and were making things
hum. They both fell in love with the
girl, and she liked both. In fact, she
couldn't make up her mind which she
liked the better; and she was so pleased
with both the farms that she felt as
If she couldn't give up either of them.
Divorce is easy in Oklahoma, but they
have scruples about bigamy; so she
had to figure the problem out some
way or other.
Nov, just listen while tell you how
she did it. One of the men was a
sooner That is, he had been hidden
inside the lines, before the time when
the government opened the country
for the rush. No one could prove it
against him; but, of course. he had
no legal right to his claim; and, if the
title could be disproved, some one else
could stake the land. In a burst of con-
t1dence, one evening. he told the girl
all about his experience as "a sooner.
Then she made up her mind. She
wheedled him into repeating the story
before witnesses, disproved his claim,
nabbed it herself and married the Young
man next door. Now they are running
both farms in pleasantness and peace.
How's that for business enterprise 2"
N. Y. Sun.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23

islature of Tennessee elected him 10
the United States senate, and rejected
him again and again, until he died while
occupying that position.
In 1884 fernando d. Money was de-
feated for congress in Mississippi. Ten
years later he was elected to the SEN
ate and reelected to that position by the
legislature of Mississippi. That was
because he never wavered in his aspira-
tions and ambitions.
In 1890 John c. Spooner was defeated
for the senate by the Wisconsin lepis-
lature. In 1896 he was elected to the
senate, and is now serving in that body,
and occupying important positions in
the leading committees. He is also re-
garded as one of the strongest and most
influential orators of the senate. His
success resulted from six years of con-
tinuous effort and fervent hope.
In 1894 Senator German, of MARYLAND.
was repudiated by his party, and his
term in the senate closed. 1t was sup
posed that that was the last of Cor
man. But to-day he is the recognized
AooueA VI Ills pNIty III tHdt STATE, ana
the men who repudiated him and de-
sired his everlasting humiliation are
now following his leadership.
In 1895 David B. Henderson, of Iowa.
desired to be appointed chairman of the
committee on appropriations of the
national house of representatives.
Speaker Reed refused to give him that
position. Four years later, in 1899, Col.
Henderson was elected speaker of the
house and succeeded Reed in the chair.
The power was given to him to APP
point a chairman of the committee on
appropriations, and the chairmen of all
other committees of the house.
In 1890 Thomas H. Carter, of Mon
tana, was defeated for congress. In
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23

elected vice president, and came to
Washington to preside over the senate
which had declined to confirm him to
subordinate DOSitiOn
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
THE THINNEST MAN.
Museum |sFreak" Who wetrhad uu+
F0rty-Fivc Pounds and Wore
Padded Clothing.

Instances Of remarkably thin men
are not uncommon, but Claude Am
broise Seurat. who was exhibited in
1925, was such an extraordinary per-
sonage that no less than 10000 persons
visited him in a few weeks. Seurat
was born in 1897, and was, therefore.
% years of age when he made his an
pearance as "freak."
Mr.. Ashley Cooper, the famous physi-
clan, was among the throng who
poured into the building in which Seu-
rat received those who were anxious to
see him, and in writing of which said:
"Seurat is without doubt the most mys-
FERROUS being I have encountered. His
face is that of an ordinary man, some
what emaciated, perhaps, but not re-
markably so. His eyes are bright, and
his voice pleasing. Seen in the Or
binary costume of the day, he is in no
way different from the average for
eigner. But stripped of his padded
clothing, he presents an astounding
spectacle.
Ills arms were mere bones, covered
by parchment-like skin, and muscles
and flesh he appears to have none. He
is therefore scarcely able to move his
arms and legs, and walks, though with.
out apparent effort, with extreme diff
Guilty. On measuring him and weigh.
ing him found that his chest measure,
ment was 3oA inches, which is fair;
that his weight was not more than As
pounds, the bones being much smaller
than those of an ordinary man of his
stature, who might weigh $50 pounds.
In appearance, indeed, he so much re-
sembles a skeleton that shortsight-
ed person might easily mistake him
for one." Seurat's food consisted of
two or three ounces of bread and meat
daily, and sometimes he took a little
wine. He was remarkably intelligent
and well-read, and picked up English
rapidly. On arriving at places where
he was not known he was accustomed
to walk out in his padded clothes. and
did not attract any particular atten-
ton. He said that until the age of ten
years he resembled any ordinary boy,
but that he suddenly wasted away. He
died in 1s4s, aged 52Xears." -Cincinnati
Enquirer.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
A Happy Community.

One of the happiest places in the
world is said to be located at Orsa. in
Sweden. The community has, in course
of generation, sold nearly $1,000, 900
worth of trees, and by means of judi
cious replanting has provided for a
similar income every 30 or 40 years. In
consequece of this commercial wealth
there are no taxes. Railways, tele-
phones, ETC., are free, and so are school
houses, teaching, and many other
;hings.-Albany Argus.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
What She Told Him.

The pastor of church in Washing
ton, on leaving his study, which is in
the rear of the church, saw a little girl,
friend OF his, talking to stranger.
what was that man saying to you,
Madge?" asked the minister, as he came
up to the little girl.
"Oh, he just wanted to know if DR..
C. was the preacher of this church."
'And what did you tell him?''
II told him." she said, with dignity,
that you were the present encum
brance."-Youth's Companion
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23

snOrts were more prodigious than on
the morning before, and when he
emerged from the bathroom his lips
were blue and his teeth chartered.
"You are chilled through" said Mrs.
Jobson.
"We-we-well, wha-wha-what if ]
amp" chartered Mr.. Jobson. 81 f-f-feel
l-like-br-r-r-rough!" and Mr.. Jobson
rolled under the bed clothes and COW
cred himself up TO the head. 1t took
him IS minutes to get over shaking,
and then he got up and put on his
clothes.
On the following morning, when Mrs.
Jobson woke him up for his plunge,
Mr.. Jobson came to with start, gath.
cred himself together, regarded Mrs.
Jobson with grave austerity, and said:
MY bath is ready, is it, Mrs. job
son? Well, it can stay ready. It's
pretty near time for you to begin to
do little thinking with regard to some
of your methods, Mrs. Jobson. You
saw to what a condition that cold bath
scheme of yours reduced me yester-
day morning, and yet it seems to have
aroused no sympathy within you. You
calmly come to me this morning, wake
me out of a sound, health-giving slum.
Der, and tell me that you have another
one of those deadly cold baths of yours
ready. Mrs. Jobson, revolt. I'm
pretty easy to get along with, but when
you try to foist fads upon me that are
obviously designed with a view to
getting me under the ground before the
crocuses begin to pop and the collec.
ton of my life insurance by the time
the spring styles are on exhibition in
the shop windows, you overstep the
mark, Mrs. Jobson-you overstep the
mark" -Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
Egg and Potato Ball.

Add one egg, we'll beaten, to good
sized cupful of mashed potatoes. Use
pepper and celery salt as seasoning,
and moisten with little milk if nee
essary. Drop the mixture by spoonfuls
into sifted flour on a plate, roll them
in the -four and fry in hot drippings or
butter.-Housewife,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
No Indications Apnarent.

'That's Miss; Jiggins,i said tho
hostess. she belongs to- our smart
SET"
II never would rave suspected it," re,
piled the unsophisticated guest. 81
have just been conversing will. her,
Chicago Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
All Charming.


Man sweeps the strings to hatter;
When girl is thin and long
He lisps Of ''willowy graces"
Through the measures of his songl
But when girl is buxom,
Or, rather, when she's fat,
He sings of ''witching plumpness,"
And claims to worship that.
Chicago Times-Herald
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
OUtdOne.

"Darn progress, anyway" growled
Father Time; "I1n doing my level best,
same as usual, to leave my traces on
the faces of humanity, but between
complexion experts and dermatologists
I haven't a ghost of a show!"-
TODics
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-23
Easily Remembered.

us it the grip that ails me, doctor?"
Its the grip. Take this powder
three times day. AS soon as you 60
oome have your wife mix you some hot
whisky and lemon juice-wait a mo-
ment. I'll write it down."
That won't be necessary, doctor. I
:an remember the hot whisky and
lemon juice."-Chicago Tribune.