The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-06-03
THE EXPERIENCES
OF A HOTEL CLERK
He is Soon Able TO Class the Travel
ing Public.
WHAT THE OLD LADY ORDERED
She Thought She Rang for Ice Water.
Bu. She Didn't-The Bridal Couple
Easy to Spot-somo Pay FOR a
Room and Want the House.

/ s,rolled into a hotel the other morn
Ing. a few hours before the sun peepea
over the eastern horizon. to see Inc "o'io
awake.
took INV accustomed seat at the small
roand table. behind the desk, on which the
rixht-clcrk's lunch spread The bel
on the tcleseme gang, and without look
ing at The dial, my friend, the clerk. or
dered a couple of '.hish-bails' for Is, for
the sixteenth time in the last hour. This
duty performed, he squeezed the buio
on the machine and seated himself TO en-
ioy my company, wflflc 1 looked after
the lundl. by way of starting the con-
versation, he said, u know that news
paper reporters life is a dogs life, but ne
Is one of these pet dogs, when he is on the
bench with a hotel clerk on duty al night.
i have had time tonight with a line of
drunks: funny DRINKS, confidential DRINKS
that weren't able 10 kick. but now thank
heavens. they are ALL he was going TO
say, .ts,ut away for the night" when there
was sudden tuInult in the air. and there
stood before the desk one of the guests.
win every pocket in his clothes turned
wrong side outward 10 illustrate what we
was saying that he had been 5uncoed. He
wanted immediate connection. over boh
phones. with every police station in the
finally compromised the matter by receiv-
ing his room key and a promise from the
clerk that the whole matter would be kept
quiet, as he did not want MS friends TO
know he had been played for a sucker
SOON CLASSES THEM.
Now just such as that and worse.
said the clerk, as he took his seat, rs
what ] Shave to contend with, but it all
comes in a lifetime. and what will be the
h. t,DEy
in the business a long time, and have
seen all kinds of folks. ii it is easy enough
TO handle them Il you know how, and we
don't have very much trouble, only on
special occasions. With people who have
Travelled much, We don't have any trouble
All the kicking comes from people who
have not Travelled and don't know any
thing about hotel life. People of this
kind think because they are paying for
one room, they ought to have the whole
house. l cant tell their personal pecuiiari-
ties, but l can put them in their class.
almost as soon as they register. You see
some of them walk in the lobby (you can
tell they are out of place., they take off
their hats the minute they get inside and
look like they would like to hide them
They handle them like piece of baggage
and would really be relieved If the boy
would take them from them as he does
the5r travelng-loaG-''
BRIDES AND GROOMS-
! asked him how about brides and
grooms; could he always tell them?
oh" he said, they are the easiest
things in our line You couldn't fool me
on them. They come in here with flowers
and gloves and the more they try TO APP
pear lil9e other people. the more atten-
ton they attract. When a gentleman and
his wife come in. who have been married
several years. she will usually walk on
past the desk, take "a seat and wait calm
ly while her husband registers. But not
SO with tile bride and groom. Nine times
out of ten. while he walks up to the regis
ter, she will stand Just back of him, look
ing demure. l always size them up right
then. TIE groom will first write his name,
then glance back at the bride, as if to be
sure she is there. and then write Mrs.
George Washington Alexander, or what
ever the name is. in fun. Ii is mighty
seldom he VIII register his name and
wife, but WILL write the whole thing out.
The groom always looks relieved when
the registering is over, which is indeed
most trying ordeal, for L have never
seen one yet who didn't give himself away
right there
UNIQUE EXPERIENCE.
IT tell YOU he continued. "a great
H.aHS funny 1id1pSii IA Il iiV1Si-
Now just last night. a thing happened in
the hotel that have been laughing about
ever since You know this teleseme, this
machine by which the guest in his room
can order anything he wants by properly
working the dial and it is indicated on the
dial here in the office, where the order Is
taken and whatever he wants is sent up.
Well, there is a little rod or pointer on the
dial which The guest turns and it really
requires SEINE study on the thing before it
can be used correctly. Well, last night
an old lady came in on the 3 o'clock train.
She was by herself. registered as Mrs.
Hawkins. believe. or some such name.
secretary of the w. c. I. u She was
shown up 10 her room and i never thought
Of the old lady again. About 1880, l took
an order of the dial for a quart bottle of
champagne. sent II over to the bar. ihey
fixed il up with glasses. crushed Ice and
check for s. and sent II UP. The boy took
1t 10 The number the order came from,
Knocked and was told to come in. and as
he entered the old lady met him. Al the
sight of The bottle she almost tainted,
but rallied. She asked the boy what he
meant by bringing such a thing TO her room
and the boy, like fool, said. You ordered
At Well. sir. with that she fairly b!azed.
The coon escaped with his life and
In iwo minutes she was down here, de-
manaing an explanation, which she re-
ceived. as we always keep them IN stock.
The old lady thought she had ordered ice
water but in manipulating the indicator.
she had used the wrong end of the rod and
while she had that end one the ice water,
the other end was on one quart OF cham-
pegne-''