Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-06-26

While they run you through ard through?
They're a very horrid crew,
Tien Tsin.
Just you holler out for help,
Tien Tsin
Raise most any kind of yelp,
Tien TSln;
And before you can S2y-Jam,
Or you know just where you am
You will hear from Uncle SAM
Tien TSin
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
They had just become engaged and
acted Ike husband and wife while
basking in the honeymoon.
4 tell you, pet he said, after Il long
and pleasant seance in the parlor, Ito
morrow we will go down to the finest
hotel in the city and have dinner. You
wear that gray dress that has such Il
pile of fluffy stuff. I'll put on my b"st
bib and tucker, and were bound to make
hit"
"Oh, you dear old darling. Do you
know, | have mania for swell hotels.
When we get rich We'll live in them.
North IN the summer and South in the
winter, wG2 we!
you prefer will be my delight, you know.
But let's think of tomorrow now. Wen
make it a red-letter day and a celebra-
ton"
They went into the dining room after
scores of guests had assembled, and they
did make a stunning appearance. The
hum of conversation was Stllled, diners
nudged each other, and she felt that her
heart was growing faint while he en-
joyed the unmistakable evidence that
they were taken as bride and groom.
They were received at separate table
with flourish. The waiter in charge
looked important, put on the high
touches of a cake walk as he seated
them, and then leaned over her shoulder
as though her order were matter of the
strictest confidence. Poor girl she knew
as we'll as the waiter that their table had
her as much as a blank piece of paper.
1t was rich in good things, but it did not
convey an idea to her perturbed brain.
What shall | bring yO' fus', my lady"
She swallowed rapidly, blushed rapid
ly, wished that she was at home, and
not quite in appetite today. Bring me
some ham and eggs detroit Free
Press.
This may not be a verbatim copy of
the letter that the unfortunate young
Chinese Emperor sent to the representa-
tives of the powers, asking their protec-
ton against the Empress Dowager, but
it is undoubtedly a good deal like it
if it is like it at all:
''Foleign Dogs: The sun Of the moon
addlesses you. Come lite away quickee
and catchee old woman. Empless Dow
ager makee life misable alice samee me.
You catchee quick. Locke up tightee.
No lettee git out. Hollid old woman.
Cuttee off head. No goodee
'Empless Dowager pushee me off
thlone. Stickee me in dalk LOOM Ne
muchee 'faid. She givee me pIoison;
makee me muchee sick. Say. He no
OO06pp (f9fchpQ nv
Walkee 'lound loom. Walkee fast. Pullec
me by cue. Pullee off Hurt like hellee.
You foleign dogs, you come quickee
and catchee OLD woman alice samee she
catchee me.
This fiomee son of the full moon, half
bother of the sun, and glate-uncle of the
''P. S.: You Gomez now. No waitee. >
rs this hammock strong?' asked the
summer girl.
''Oh, yes said the clerk, that's me-
dunn strong: Is anybody else to use it
beside you?'
Yes, indeed. There'll be several in it
beside me. That isl she added, zone at
time For she looked forward to a
busy and not a monotonOus summer. as
usual Philadelphia Press.
What is the real good?'
| asked in a musing mood.
Order" said the law court;
,Knowledge,' said the school;
Truth said the wise man;
Pleasure said the fool;
Love- said the maiden
Beauty" said the page;
Freedom said the dreamer;
Fame" said the soldier;
Equity the seer.
Spake my heart full sadly:
The answer is not here
Then within my bosom
Softly this | heard:
Each heart holds the secret
Kindness is the word
John Boyle O'Reilly in Boston Transcript.
How much will your opinion in this
case be worth" asked the prospective
client.
Il can't tell you how much it'll be
worth. answered the lawyer who is ac-
customed to make fine distinctions, .'but
can tell you how much l am going to
charge you for Tx.
Col. w. O. Tolford's ability to reeoc-
nlze good story is as well known as his
ability to tell one, says the Columbus
Dispatch, and this fact enables him to
bring back fine assortment every time
he returns from trip. Among those he
brought back from Washington last week
is the following: In the national capital
the federal constitution is regularly VIC.
lated to the extent that colored people are
not entertained in the restaurants. But a
light-colored mulatto wandered into one
of the restaurants the other day, and
when waiter intimated to him in the
gentleSt way that he could not be served
there, this conversation enSued:
"Wha can't III be surved heah?''
at is against the rules
Guess you TEX me fob a colored man.
aren't you?'
Me colored? No, sub, Use uh Malay
Malay, eh. Let's see; where do the
Malays come from?'
..MhN nh from Malaria oh cnurSo >,