El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1900-12-24
EmerSon'S Christmas Suit.
An 0rieina, Christmas Story by Link and Pin %

"Out with your ticket" said the con,
And pounded on the berth.
The man raised up and gruhly SAID,
"Oh, go get off the earth.
Emerson Montmorency, New Eng
land youth, whose fathers failure In
the baked bean business had necessltat-
ed his going into the world to dig LOT
himself, followed the advice of the
eminent Horace Greeley and came west
to grow up with the country. Being
an apt young man he soon tumbled up
the ladder of fame to the position OF
Pullman conductor on the Dropdead &
Getoffanpush railroad. He had met
with many young ladies that he con-
sidered pretty and some wealthy
enough, in connection with his salary
as conductor, for them to live in COM
fort the rest of their days, but he had
not found any well enough posted in
the dead languages and the art
of bean baking to satisfy his ideal OF
good housewife, until he met Miss
Amelia Goldenduffer. the accomplish
ed daughter of the rich Chicago saus-
age maker, who had attended school
in Boston until the holiday vacation
which she came west to spend with
school mate.
They had met at weinerwurst
supper given by Miss Goldenduffer's
friend whom she was visiting. 1t was
a case of love at first sight. She was
Emerson's ideal that he had long been
looking for and she had acquired the
eastern taste for classics to such a de-
gree that the western youths. who talk
ed about chile concarne and "quien
sabe" were very uninteresting to her.
Her father had never told her that he
had his eye on an English "dook" for
her and innocent of the shock she
would insert hypodermically into the
system of her father, of the Il will"
city on the lake, she convulsively
threw her fat arms around the neck
of her Pullman conductor, who had
talked Interestingly about tea parties
and baked beans, and said she'd be
his'n. Then both took for their mot
to 1--WE will, in January 1901"
Where are you going. my pretty
I'm going to market, SIR" she said.
For what are you going, my pretty
maid?"
I'm going for pork and beans" she
said
Rrt everything was not to run so
smoothly with the happy couple as
they thought Christmas was fast ap-
preaching and in honor of the anniver-
sary of the birth of our Savior and the
visit of Miss Goldenduffer, a friend, ac-
quired since her arrival in the west,
whose father had come from Der
Faderlandt" to open up a Weiss beer,
Iimburger and pretzel joint in the new
west, intended giving on Christmas
night a frankenfurter social. 1t was
to be a full dress affair and Emerson
Montmorency had but one suit to his
name and that was made of navy blue
had had brass buttons on it. 1t was
clear to Emerson that he would be
obliged to scrape around some way
and get dress suit to wear to that So
cial or not go, and that would never
do, for he did not feel so solid yet but
what someone might win his betroth-
ed away from him in one night. Had
she not fallen in love with him sud-
denly and might she not do the same
again? How did he know but what
she had habit of falling on necks and
cooling sweet words into ears? Yes he
must go, but how was he to secure that
suit?
money had all been spent on oyster
suppers and .bonbons for his Amelia.
He had asked the Pullman porter to
loan him his suit, but the porter was
going to be contestant for the cake at
the Polychromatic hall on Christmas
night and wanted his suit himself
He spoke to the brakeman on his run
about his, but the brakeman was built
on the plan of a rail and the conductor
had always had difficulty in getting
his bread basket through the aisles of
the sleeping cars.
"Tis Christmas" sighed Sir Gobbler |
Turk;
The wind his whiskers blew.
The rooster said, 81 do not care
A cock-a-doodle-do." !
On Christmas eve night as he was
standing on the corner of Burro street
and Tamale alley a messenger boy ap-
preached and handed him a note 1t