The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1900-10-19
! JObSOn Cleans House !


'TVHlS house." remarked Mr.. job
son one evening recently. run
ming his right index finger over
the top of the frame of one of
the parlor pictures and then flick
ing a lot of imaginary dust from
the finger, looks like a pig pen.
Do you ever do any busting in this
plant? The dust's SO thick all over the
establishment that my lungs are al
caked up. And the whole outfits got .
general rundown. untidy. neglected
look. OF course. l know that your eff
forts TO keep up with current fiction
make big inroads upon your spare
time. Nevertheless. | should think
you'd be able 10 snatch a moment here
and there for the purpose Of endeayor-
ing TO make your home look less like a
soubrette's rag-time fiat. How about
.t?"
The house was cleaned from top TO
bottom this very morning" said Mrs.
Jobson. land If you can find a speck OF
dust anywhere"
''Speck OF dust anywhere. hey:"
broke in Mr.. Jobson. sarcasticai.y.
"Ill wager you the finest box of jujube
paste or gum drops that can be bought
for money. Mrs. Jobson. that can col
iect two hogsheads full of dirt in this
house inside of 20 minutes. The dirt's
everywhere"
Mrs. Jobson didn't vouchsafe any re-
ply to this extraordinary statement.
Its nearly time for the fall house
cleaning" she said. however. land I in
tended TO begin day after tomorrow.
And that reminds me Of something.
You we're so annoyed over the house
cleaning last fail that you told me 10
give you at least two days notice be-
fore beginning TO clean house this au-
tumn, so that you could have tins TO
look over the papers. find out where the
fish were biting the best and go away
for a weeks vacation. If you"
Mr.. Jobson walked over TO where
Mrs. Jobson sat and gazed A. her Curl
ously. as if she were some new and un-
usual pathological specimen.
II said that. did IL" he inquired.
skepticaliy. ITS a wonder you don't
GO in for the manufacture Of campaign
literature"
But you did say that" insisted
Mrs. Jobson. "and you added that you
wouldn't remain around the house
during another fall house cleaning
for a million dollars spot cash.
You"
"All right" cut in Mr.. Jobson. II
don't acknowledge that | ever en-
ployed such an idiotic phrase. But
well let it go. This. you will un-
derstand. is another year. And. as
1t is another year. other conditions
prevail. This year I'm going to do
the whole job Of house cleaning my
self"
Mrs. Jobson's features contracted
INTO an expression Of alarm.
Surely" she began. you would
not think Of doing anything so fool
ish. and getting everything upside
down and in n tanglc. and overexert-
ing yourself. and"
That's all right about my getting
myself. Mrs. Jobson." said Mr.. job
son, loft.ly. II don't intend TO per-
nit you to pick a quarrel with me
over this matter. As just N
nounced. ] am going to undertake the
fan house cleaning job myself this
year. and I'm going to start in at
IL the first thing after breakfast to-
morrow morning.
This house hasn't had a thorough
securing since we've been living in it.
h so-called housccleanings have
been the merest bluffs. Moreover,
the operation usually keeps the house
In q miserable. uncomfortable tur-
mol for . period ranging from .
week to ten days. during which time
you rush wildly about from room to
room. with a towel bound around
your head. looking like a person suf-
fering from a gunshot wound. and
broom in each hand. and the muck
IN dust flying from one piece of
furniture to the other. and the meals
always . couple OF hours late. and
not At Q eat when they're at length
ready. Now. I'm going about this
housekeeping job in a systematic.
busincss-likc amer I'm going to
take the two days leave coming to
me. beginning tomorrow morning.
and ". at the END Of the second day.
his whole outfit. from cellar 10 gar
ct. isn't looking like a new dollar
<Fesh from the mint. then I'm an