The age-herald., 1900-09-14
SKETCHES FROM
 EVERYDAY LIFE

done much to relieve the congested surface traffic of the streets, but even that has become inadequate for Greater New York. and system of underground railways is now in course of construction. These tun- nels are to contain four tracks, two for fast express trains and two for locals The stations will be provided with both stairs and elevators. Already a large apartment house is being constructed with an under ground entrance connecting with the rail- way. This is a specimen of true Yankee enterprise, and 1t is safe to say will be fol- lowed by many others. The advantages of this are apparent A man can eat his breakfast in his rooms indifferent to the bowling blizzard outside. He goes down on the elevator which lands him at the subway station. He gets out at his office building, enters through another under ground passage, takes the elevator and reaches his office. All this without the use of umbrellas, over-shoes, ear-pads, chest protectors and porous plasters. The sav- ing in these items alone will be immense. Show Yankee how to save a penny and he will spend a million.
 
 These little material comforts count so much in the sum total of human happiness. To arrive somewhere with dry feet instead of wet; to go to your office with a feeling that your hat will not be blown off on the way; to know that you will not be called on to look dignifed while chasing it down the street ris1ing your life among the ve- hicles; to feel that you can go to work without having your ears frostbitten, or being obliged to wrap yourself up like a mummy; all this will be possible to the New Yorker. When a city offers in- ducements like this, 1t is no wonder the population increases. Population will al- ways be in proportion to the comforts and conyeniences of the locality. From the lonely rural hamlets where you draw water from well, to the cities where you turn a faucet and bathe in marble, is pro- gressive ratio of population.
 There is an interesting case pending in court in Philadelphia. Miss Annie Mc- Closkey has brought suit against Sarah Kelley and Edward Care neighbors, to re- cover $5,o00 damages for being called an "old maid" The meaning of many words has been construed by the courts, but probably this is the first time judicial construction of the expression 'old maid'' has been sought. The damages claimed by Miss McCloskey seem large, but those familiar with the custom of lawyers who sue for $10000 and settle for $10 will not be surprised at this
 Miss McCloskey says that a short time ago she was walking along the street when Sarah and Edward came along.
 Here comes the old maid" remarked Sarah to Edward. The remark she says, was intended to be heard by others and was malicious.
 Miss McCloskey declares that calling her an "old maid" is "a false, malicious, de- famatory and wicked slander" and by reason thereof, the plaintiff has been greatly hurt, injured and damaged in her good name, fame and reputation, and has been brought into disgrace and dsrepute among her neighbors, friends and divers other persons, and sustained damages as aforesaid.
 Counsel for the defendants claim the dic- tionary definition of 'old maid is "a woman who has not been married and is regarded as having passed the usual mar riageable age." If this definition fits Miss McCloskey she will lose her case. When she gets on the stand she will have to tell her age, and being under oath. she must be careful not to knock off too many birth days.
 Forrest Heath, in New York Sun. As I walked along I passed a crowd
 An eddying, rubbering swirl,
 And I stopped man and asked him why,
 He replied: Iris a net gaist wirl." "'Tis what?" said I, and he looked abash.
 ed
 Like guilty bird from jail
 ''The fad, you-'ts quite the thing
 This get nursed vail"
 His face grew black and his smile died out,
 His lips began to curl,
 Why, dammit, man, you know what I
 It's a wet gaist nirl
 I glowered back indignantly,
 While his arms worked like fail, The sweat streamed down his crimson
 As he yelled: "A wet nursed gale" The poor man danced as in mortal pain,
 His mind was in a whirl,
 Till at length he shrieked with thankful
 joy:
 ""Tis a NET WAIST GIRLr' BATTLEsHIP OREGON IN A BAD WAY Washington Correspondence of the Chicago
 Tribune.
 It is probable the battleship Oregon will be ordered home from the Asiatic station. The reports and photographs received from Kure of the injuries sustained by the ship on it's way to Taku show that it was dam aged to a greater extent than was at first supposed, or than has been indicated in the previous reports from naval officers at tached to the ship. The attempt to repair the damage must have been of the most temporary character, and consisted largely of filling in the huge apertures with timber framework covered with sheet iron. The repairs are described as merely something to keep the water out, and it is doubtful if the permanent repairs can be done at Hong Kong It is estimated that it will require several months to complete the work, which includes good deal of in-