The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-04-19
sa33 X GGee

ngnCS, ana the chicken fights, and even
the prize fighters are strangers in the
land, and the voice of the keno callers
is stilled, and the people hath lately
shown by sundry riots that something
must be done to entertain them and
keep them from thinking of the Gods
of silver, and following after the proph-
cts of evil. So, most mighty of war
riors! would advise that thou grid on
thy sword, and take up the ting-a-ling,
and call upon the people to rise up and
smite this boaster Weyler and all the
hosts of the Spainites, that thy name
may grow great among the Sons of
Liberty, and thy reign continue long in
the land"
And Mckinley hardened unto his
voice; and the wise men seeing his face
shine with peace again, they banged
their sandals upon the golden floor,
and their hair upon their heads, and
cast their silken crowns in the air, and
the heralds spread the news of war
throughout all the earth And there
was much noise on that day.
And the prophet Bryan was laid low.
Even he joineth the mighty host of the
Sons of Liberty to gambol with the
boom, boom, and the Machete; and the
trusts waxed glad and olappeth their
hands, for like unto the vultures, they
smelleth spoils afar off in the sounds
of war.
CHAPTER II.
Now in those days there dwelt on the
borders of the sea, near unto the land
of the Spainites, mighty commodore,
who belonged unto the navy of the
Sons of Liberty, and he being afar off
from his country when the war was de-
clared, sayeth unto himself: "Go to-!
In my fathers country there are many
harbors, where might rest in ease and
safety. Whilst here, all men turneth
me out to sea. Verify will arise, and
by the whistle of Yankee Doodle I
will destroy this washtub navy of the
Spainites and smite them hip and
thigh, and have harbor of my own"
So he hoisteth anchors, and steameth
away to fight a mighty battle. Now in
those days the Spainites were vain and
puffed up; and they said: "Who is this
little Yankee that cometh like mist
in the night upon us, aud standeth his
seven ships of war over against our
mighty fleet and powerful forts o. And
the commander of the Spainites, aware
by the blowpipes of Weyler that he
would give the Yankee ships to the
mermen and mermaids OF the sea for
castles, his guns to the little fishes, and
his Yankee crew to the sharks. And
the Spainites waxed hot with anger.
and the battle began. The heavens
grew black, the sea rocked and moaned
with the mighty struggle, the ships
swept like vultures around and around.
The belching guns sent fire and death
broadcast; the land trembled, and the
mighty monsters of the sea fled into
the deepest parts of the ocean, and still
the Yankee commander fought on un-
til the steward cometh to him and
sayeth: Behold, the coffee boileth!
Have done therefore until the crew
eateth." And he stopped the battle.
Now the Spainites looked and said:
"Behold, the Yankee f1eeth!" But no.
he only eateth.
Again the Yankee commander goeth
into the battle with his seven ships of
war, and the very heavens trembled,
and the mighty sea throbbed beneath
the strokes of his boom, booms. The
trees bowed their heads on dry land,
and the earth heaved, and shook as
with the ague, and the battle waxed
hot, and the Yankee crew grew mad,