Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-08-08


silver. Stand by him, and you will he
assured of victory. Gentlemen of the con
o. ClariSsa, | meant present for your
consideration the name Of Augustus {.
Blank"
He was nominated by suffocation.
while the permanent chairman upstairs
raped III vain for order-1ndianapolis
Sun
A Mysterious Achievement-"Do you
believe there is such n thing as clairvoy
ance?' inquired the mattcr-of-fact
friend
well" answered the man who hes
tates, Il won't say there is any such
thing But | do know this much: saw
man go to pile of cantaloupes and
pick out SIX. and everyone of them was
good to eat, Wash ngton Star.
4 Jesuit priest now in South Africa
writes to the boys in the New York col
lesc. where he WAS formerly 4; professor:
Nine in the blessed language is dihera
neutrality-suspicious., bit this is nothing
10 800. which is aShuln anna gduamah-
IA interchangeable anamashu
mihamahera manwanaingohalea go
wakadiheIanamanwan haheia.
Senator Thomas IL. Garter of Montana
aad Senator BeveridGe of Indiana are
probably the TWO most illustrious book
amelts in the world. says the Saturday
Evening Post. Each man at one stage
in his early life sold books for a living.
Senator Garter managed the National
RepubIican committee in 1892. and was
a prominent figure at the recent Phia-
deipha convention.
Since his election as senator. Mr.. Car
ter has acquired and maintained the rep
utaOon of being one o. the best story
,tellers in Congress. His anecdotes are
true to life and generally refer TO some
incident mat has come wltn.n has own
obse walton. In appearance the senator
looks more and more hike Uncle Sam
brought up to date. His 5. alwart frame,
rudy face. smooth lips and pointed
beard would do for an artists model
Not long ago a stranger III Washing
ton who had heard much about Senator
Garter said TO an employe OF the Sen
:aje: Il heard Garter tel his famous
'hold-up' story ut my .hoJe LAT night. |
didn't think much of II.
Ale YOU sure it was Carer" asked
the empioye somewhat obviously.
Certain He looked as if he had
stepped out of a political cartoon. You
couldn't mistake him, and | know the
STORY by heart
What did the crowd do?
Nothing There wasn't even Il smile.
My friend, said the Senate man pity
ingly. you've been deceived by some
his 'toldup' story the crowd has got 10
laugh"
CaIler-"Where did you say. madam.
Your husband had gone to spend the
evening" Madam "a little hard of hear
ingl-'I didn't understand him exactly.
but | think he said he was going to at
tend soaker '-Richmond Dispatch.
--:o:--
..Tho+ iii ,,or tlf
landlord of the tavern at Iaphank to the
summer man, indicating with Il jerk of
his thumb bent and timeworn figure
that was doddering down the village
street. lis Uncle Zimri Tarpy. He's lived
here all his life-'most eighty-siX years.
mild righteousness. He must like ii
here pretty well by this time
''Oh, yes; he says he gueSses he'll
make this village his permanent resi-
dcnce. The Smart Set.
An amusing anecdote is told in book
gust published relating TO events near
Paris in 1870.
The Prnssian King and crown prince
eat Versailles and one day the latter
returning, wished to know if the King
also had come back to his temporary
abode, so he inquired of the sentinel who
was posted in the antechamber. The sell
tinel, raw Saxon, replied cheerfully.
es. your royal highness little daddy
(Papachenl has just gone in
The crown prince, seeing that the man
did not mean to be insolent and unwill
ing to have him punished, stopped and
said half aloud to his adjutant, Il Won
der if he is drunk"
The Saxon. overhearing immediately
presented arms and observed:
AS to that. your royal highness, | did
not noticeaanything.
What could be done but to send the
man for instruction in department?
His Rowing EXpericnce-A Pittsburc
hySlclan who thought of taking his col
ored servant with him in projected fish
ing trip Intercepted him as to his ac-
quaintance with aquatics. After a few
preliminary questions he asked: Have
YOU ever rowed. James," Only on the
cyahS. sab. Pittsburg Chronicle-Telc-
graph.
He know your family does not like
me, but-will YOU be my wife,
She-'Well. | SHOULD sly not,''
lie taken aback)-"Whew. That's
rather a.
She."l repeat I should say not. but
as a girl in love doesn't generally do as
she should. III say yesr-CatboIic
Standard and Times.
Mr.. Wallabont--''I suffer fearfully from
insomnia"
Dr.. Barstein-'Do you?''
Mr.. Wallabout-"Yes. I can't even.
sleep in church. -Somerville Journal
-:O:-
DO you see that bald-headed old fell
low there by the Window inquired the
Daddy 'Skeeter of the bluebottle fly.
Yes, | see him." buzzed the buebot-
tie.
We'll, that's the man I'm just aching
to get even with. He hit me a nasty
swpe yesterday when | was playing
shoot-the-chutes on his high forehead.
he ought tc know that there isn't any
harm III a male MOSQUITO"
of course there isn't" buzzed the
6luebottle: But what are you going to
do about it?''
I'm going to keep an eye on him until
my VIE gets home. She's been down
here on the lake shore with Il lot of camp
ers, and she's picked up seven different
kinds Of malaria Just wait until she
bites the old brute onoe!''- Cleveland
Plain Dealer
-:o:-
Auntie-"Whom do You love best?"
Dolly Mamma. y Who n@xt?'' You"