The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-02-04

had done an that was necessary. Al
though was pleasantly aritated over IT,
I myself felt no arprchension. but thought
like my mother. that ovsrv nice girl be-
longing to 4 good family would have at
least a fairly agreeable time. and / felt
quite sure that / would he provided with
the necessary partners. NV father. good
man was delegated TO take me. Alter see
ing me dressed mamma said l was look
ing my prettiest and sent me off TO my
fate with papa. while she went to bed
Wen. we entered the room and I made
my courtesies. and then one Of papa's
cronies came no with PAL. shrinking
little creature whom he introduced as his
daughter. who had lust returned from "A
Gated. My dear said papa. In the inno-
cence Of his heart. 4 think We win leave
you two girls here together. as YOU will
not want such old fogies as Mr. 5. and
in your way. and we Will go and have a
rubber Of whist together in the cardroom.'
So on they went. Wen, for years after
ward ! could never bear 10 speak of that
night, although now | can see the humor
of it! Would You believe me. we never
danced once! And then when the awful
supper march sounded there we both sat
helpless, and If ii had not been for a kindly
matron whom we neither of us knew we
shouldAot have stirred from our seats
This good Samaritan called her husband.
and he IN his turn procured a friend. and
between them we were escorted down TO
supper
~ suppose Won two want TO STAY for
the cotiUion?" said mana as he and his
friend came up to us with beaming coun-
tenauces after we had been returned TO
our seats by orr kind rescuers we would
rather 20 HON. g. we both exclaimed sim
ultaneouslv with voices very near akin to
tears, and home we went
ooh how | hated society that night
and everything belonging To IT. II took
me a year TO recover from my first bal,
and il was only after had learned the
ways of the world and how to manage
for myself that l bepan 70 eniov IT."
'.Woman " said the old codper 10 n
writer In pnck durine ono Of his nedito
tive smells SIS n narnetual naradox a
chronic conupdrurn without on answer m
unknown quantity nossessed of unexnecte
possibilities. n perennial prize paclxare OF
necullar notentialfties a conventlcle or
characteristics contradictions ana an anna
raathine aagreeation ~ other attributes
which are moi aIiterative
''She is mans greatest earthly blessing
and the cause Of most Of His misery she
rs his chief insniration 10 the achievement
OF all that IS good. grand. and glorious in
this world and AT the same time n labor
saving device to help him make a fool Of
himself She soothes his tired nerves
with The coo of her gentle vaice bu she
always has the last word IN every contro-
versy with him-and incidentally. about
81 per cent of the preceding conversation
She brings him into the world and a few
years Iater talks him 10 death.
Most of mans trouble is caused by wo-
man. but so deftly does she pile the load
on him that whenever his burden of
trouble il lifted he wanders uneasny about
IA
be very few second wives. She viii cheer
and lie about her age without even being
asked She viii grow weary of an indul-
gent husband. but viii cleave unto death
to the man who beats her regularly She
will break her heart because man does
what she don't want him to, and love al %
all the better for so doing
a husband. but takes two other women
along to help her pick out hat The less
actual comfort TO be obtained from a
thing. the more enjoyment woman gets
out Of its rossession AT 10 she is atyoung
woman. Mt q. If stII unmarried, she is a
girl She will face the grim specter OF
death without a tremor and swoon at the
sight of a mouse. The only time she ever
docs what Won exDect her TO do is when
YOU expect her to do Just what you don't
exnect her 10 do. THE sole reason why che
does awning is simply because she dOn [
know WHY she does IT, She tumus at con-
clusiops and always lands on them squai e.
~ for the simple reason that when the
conclusion skins to one side. thinking to
avoid her It gets exactly In her way She
is the dearest thing In an the world and
Inc most aegravating. She is as she Is.
and that's ali there is to do about il. The
only man who ever fully understands q
he don't understand her and has got sense
enough 10 let 1t 90 al that"
An authority on dentistry SAYS that
nearly teeth do not wear well and that
Inc girl with square Jaws aud teeth that
make IN in strength what they lack in
beau4v will stand a better chance in the
long RIM Of preserving her good looks than
n beauty of the accepted type.
There is an old couple I'm Brooklyn. said
,,h1, 40 lIenendant unon tha charity If one
| ~ INC cb1rcbee The man saws that his
n,otbor WAS the aistcr Of Admiral Dewev'a
! iA'S''fe' 49, 80