The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-08-31

single person who was prepared to dis
pute the point. or to offer any sugges-
tons as to how many swallows 1t does
take to make summer. w ashnSton
Star.
.'She nd I say. He is believed to he
dead again. or He is again believed tc
be drAd:' asked Mr.. Dinwi,l1le Of Mr.
Van l;rn.ln.
"Thv latter expression is correct: of
& ur>e. II man is dead. he is dead. The
idea is that a previous report that hr was
dead, which, PROVED, to hr False. has been.
it!l, wed hN another report, which is be-
Etvrd TO he true
'Eut WAS speaking of the Em?':"r
"Oh. that's different 1t DOESN'T mat
tc' how y''u put it."-ritt>h Chr"ni-
rlr-TelrSr;>ph.
that last H't day thar it took me 1w"
hours ia dry out Charli, $ last letter SO 1
could read it,
'Ht,ur man.
"Wtll. don't blame him entirely. I;
Wa> ONE Ct Charities NEST melting let
! t, -. and beside that he inv,u>t, Il clip
ping Of an early poem by Ella Wheel
rr Nilr">.* -flevrlam} Plain dealer.
There were many tales told in the days
of cid of S>u!any wives and hrnprckrd
husbands. says the Scottish American.
Evidently tn" ladies are becoming more
equal IN their temprrS, or their husbands
may have got the upper ham,. There
>"rrly tried hy his wifeS temper. On
one occasion d friend asked him if he
had ever seen /; famous book which bore
tn" title "'rhr Afflicted Mans Compan-
ion.
Il haze an 'dv'ti"n "'t i'll ma ain
"Man, l wild like to Sect" said his
friend.
"Comc in bye. than" he SAID. At the
trc<id, sd, his wife. Pointing to her,
he said. "'rha1'> my copy o The ~Aihiri-
cd Mans Companion.
Rival ThrillS.-'rht Seaman" Have
YOU ever been ON Il hattlrShp when she
clears for action:" The landSman-
/ NO." The S,*'nnan-"Wrll. it is the
most thrilling and impressive moment
! You can conceive. The l>andSllal ION.
| | don't know. Have You ever seen Il
1tAt-rNh champion Get ready to 'irivr:
Life
The summer poet enters. air;ly.
lit entitled GLADYS and Her Garden
| Hose.
The editor springs to his feet with 4
! savage >n:ri
1T is quite ont of the, ordinary the
poet haStenS t" add. 1T is absolutely
| devoid of double cntrndrt. Only one
kind of hose is meant, throughout. nanr~
~. 1l!-invh. 1hrrr-ply rubber hose"
Tho editor wriny> the poets hand, not
his neck. His emotions will NOT permit
him to speak. Tears fill his eyes until
ht is scarcely able to write the check for
one hundred dollars \S1Uo}.~-Drtroit
Journal.
Paddock lin disgust. after the numbers
are hung up)-"l-o|~tcr Salad fourth
Darn the luck, anyway. And | played
| him three ways. too
Mrs. Paddock-"With 50 many horses
in the race DEAR l think Id have played
Mrs. lcekolt}-"Do You drink rrm:"
Mr.. William Walkcr-"Ah, wot a re-
lief it is to listen to a sensible question
like dat All de society ladies / met has
such Il mnnctonuuS way g >ayin', DO
YOU play golf:' Have YOU met dc
Prince" Are YOU off fer de Paris OK
lady. Have you Il bottle on your hip?''-
Judge.
\ plumber was sent for to the house of
Il wealthy Stockhrokcr to execute some
repairs.
lie was taken Ivy the butler into the
dining room, and WAS beginning his
work, when the lady Of the house en-
tered.
"John.'' said She with IA suspicious
glance toward the plumber. ''rtmovc the
silver from the Sideboard and lock it up
| at once.
But the man Of lead was in no wise
disconnected. ".I"m.' said he to his ap-
pre- nticc. who accompanied him. take
my watch and chain and these copperS
home to the mSSuS at once. There seems
to he dishonest people about this hoNSc.'
Tit Bits.
Ma always trumlH up something:
good to say ahout everybody.
''Ntll. she can't say. anything good
about the Chinese.
'YcS. she says she cant help liking
them hpcanSr they don't wear Whi~kv1>."
indianapolis journal.
mum. and
".,ood gracious! Why didn't you speak
to Il policeman:
Nurse Girl-"I was speaking to one
all the 1oim'. um."-Tit-Bits.
Mrs. Chicory-"rhat AeteSta|,lc Mrs.
1ia>hcm was hoaSting to-day about how
long she keeps her boaydcrS.'' Mrs
Prunes-"Oh. she keeps them 50 thin
that they look longer than they really
are. "-Philadelphia Record.
MY mcther-in-law has gone to the
mcuntainS.'
You lock pleased.'
Yes; she'll have to admit she has
found something that she can't walk
over. -1ndianapolis Journal.
,Tudse-''So YOU claim you struck him
III self -defense?'
Prisoner-"Yes, yer honor: shure OF
wouldn't a hit i'm at all if he hadn'
turned on me fur trowin' a brick at i'm. -
Philadelphia Press.
He-"Fraulein, / love you madly: my
heart is broken on your account: my
passion makes me blind; am deaf to
the words Of others - She-'Rut
are you otherwise quite l?''-Mcggen-
| rrf0 Planttnr