The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-06-23

Reverence. to hoide the shirt Oh haven't
got on."-Punch.
Benevolent Lady-'sYou say you have
a wife and six children? Where are
they?'' Beggar-"Tm all alone My
boys are at Harvard. my girls are at
Vassar, and my wife is in Paris visiting
the exposition. Judge.
Mrs. Galagher-'.An' phwat'n Oh do
at all, Moike? This machine only goes
up to fifteen shtone. an Dim sixteen
shtone if Oi'm an ounce" Gallagher
Get on twoice, Bridget, an add up tn
totals. Glasgow Evening Times.
A Falling out-"And why did you
leave your last place?' Cook an me
had a fallin' out, men, II don't see
like that" But we fell out o. tn third
story window, mem. cleveland Plain
Dealer.
brothers or sisters, my little MANI
Bobby-''Yes, sir. Z got one sister an
one an a half brothers" Old Gentle
many hati!" Bobby-'Yes, sir Two
half-sisters and three brothers. -
Philadelphia Press.
Equally Horseless- ''Ha!'' jeered the
bystanders. 1.-The automobile has come
to stay See it stay!" That's all
right" responded the man on the seat,
calmly lighting a cigar. But why
should q machine that merely displaces
the horse excite the ill-will of asses Pr
Chicago Tribune.
Mistress-Jane, you may clear away
the breakfast dishes and put the house
| in order. I am going to my dress
| makers to have a new gown fitted
| Jane-Yes, ma am. Are you going to
take your latchkey, or shall I sit up
! for you?-Chicago News.
eff defeat should come" remarked
the statesman, 4 am prepared to meet
it with dignity and philosophic calm"
We'll, welli'' exclaimed Senator Sorg-
! hum. You surprise me knew you
We're prudent man, but 1 didn't know
you had saved up as much money as all
/ that. ashington Star.
Young Rhymes-I tell you marriage
takes all the poetry out of a fellow.
Friend-Then it can't be failure
Brooklyn Life.
What did that politician say about
! losing the nomination."
"Oh, he merely said he would go
| home and blow his wife up for making
! him fool away good money having her
photograph taken. Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
Some Day-'When," shouted the ora
tor. when will come that blessed day
when every man shall get all he
| earns 2" It'll come along about the
time" fiercely back-answered the man
in the crowd, who was there for that
purpose, 1T will come when every man
earns all he gets!"-Indianapolis Press.
Myer-Those chorus girls are Ger
tainly well trained. They keep step in
such excellent time.
Gye-Oh, that's easily accounted
for. They have clocks in their hosiery
Chicago News.
Kilson-Gavlord's wife used to be
awful stout and now she is quite thin.
What caused the change, wonder?
Marlow-Divorce. This isn't the same
wife.-Brooklyn Life
'I see," she said, they claim there
is now a sure cure for badness Don't
you think you'd better try it?''
I'm safer as it is, don't you think?''
he answered insinuatingly.
| However, this only bore out the as
sertion she had frequently made that
he was too mean to be blessed with a
wife.-Chieago Post
DO you think Bilkins has real re-
spect for the truth?''
He has SO much respect for it that
he never makes common use Of it.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Have you adequate police protection
for your house?' asked the burglar
alarm agent.
yes, indeed" said the housekeepel
/ in a tone that carried conviction, I'VE
have the prettiest servant girl on the
block. Life.
"WeII, Aunt Eunice, I heah yo' has
! bin marryin' off one OBJ yo'r daughters.
, Ian yes! She won a cake at de
cake walk de udder night; so she dur
killed two birds wild one stone an used
de same cake TO her weddin' cake. =
Judge.
''rhis hat is too small for me" said
the the-Public-Eye. L must
ask you to exchange it for a larger
l one.
Ah" exclaimed , 4ad. the l batter 81 y {8c
Morning Wasp have you?"
mo. Why"
Just read what it has to say about
, you. 1 think that will fix you."-Phila-
t delphia Press.
E '"rhey say as a politician Murphy al
t wavs has the courage of his convic'
e TONS.
e IN what way?"
E well, he never hesitates to name hi
. own price. Life.
/ HiE guess your friend Meeks i
e coming out on top, after all.
Dix-How so?
d Hix-I saw him purchase a bottle 0
Y hair restorer in a drug store the othe
! day.-Chicago News
n Can you tell which mushrooms ar
e poisonous and which are not?" aske
n the young woman.
|, 7 can" answered the young ma
y who never admits he doesn't know.
E "How?"
n by reading the papers next morn
ing.'-Chicago Post.
n Miss Niblick-Don't you get tired c
# playing golf all the time?
y Miss Brassie-Oh. yes. 1 often feel a
if 1 would like to stop playing and jus
e sit down and talk about it.-Life.
!. And now, children said the teache
! who had been talking about militar
K Notifications, can any of you tell m
B what is a hllttresS2,,