The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1900-12-05
PLEASANTRIES
a MAN Of note-The musician.

AN ivory handle Feeling Of an ele
plants tusks.
LUCK is seldom good master. His
pay-days are too uncertain.
FAIR plays jewel; but jewels don't
make fair pIay-even Of Anthony and
Cleopatra"
THE policeman who guards the side
door of liquor saloon on Sunday might
be called bottle-stopper.
at is a poor rule that won't work
both ways" exclaimed the boy as he
threw the ferule at the schoolmaster's
head.
SOME men never keep at the head Of
the procession until on the way to the
grave. Even then they have TO be car
ried to the front.
WHEN woman steps out on the back
porch with her arms rolled up in her
apron it is sign to her neighbor that
she has something to tell her.
You can always tell just how much
wife loves her husband by watching to
see how long she let's him have the
opera glasses at spectacular show.
MADAM (engaging cook)-Have you
ever had any experience? Mrs. Maloney
(curtly)-Experienee is it? Shure ]
wuz in siyen places the pasht month.
Il OBSERVE by the papers that Sulli-
ven has sworn off again. 1t must be
bad for the distilleries." "Not very.
He swears off too often to do them much
harm"
YOUNG WIFE Cat balD-You are I'M
proving wonderfully as dancer. Don't
you remember how you used to tear my
dresses9 Young Husband - Yes; I
wasn't buying 'em then.
DARLING" she said, weeping, @when
we were married five years ago I never
expected to see you coming home at |
o'clock in the morning" "Well, you
wouldn't now, M dear" he replied, If
you'd only go to sleep earlier"
FRIGHTENED Mother--For heavens
sake, John, run for the doctorl Baby
has swallowed yonr collar-button. John
turning over in bed)-How am I to go
for the doctor without my collar-but-
ton? What nonsense women do talk?
(Goes to sleep.) 7 =
ROBERT, dear, what is iag?' "A
jag? don't know, Maria" "Mrs.,
Jones says that her husband told her
that he saw You down town with your
jag on "Oh, yes. / see. He meant
my box overcoat. 1t is sometimes called
jag. "-Chtcdgo Herald
JOHNNY" said the father, severely.
"are you still reading that history ?"i
Yes, father" "Well, you drop it pretty
quick, and hustle out with your base
ball bat and go to practicing If you
amt careful you never will get to be
famous. Merchant Traveller.
OLD lady, who prides herself on her
youthful appearance, asks precocious
boy at table to wait on her little. Old
Lady-Now, my dear boy, when you
get to be on old man I will wait on you.
Boy "a little indignantly When 1 get to
be an old man you will be dead and
buried unless You expect to live like
She.
'CLUBsoN-Did you ever notice how
Boggs always feels of his vest pocket
before pulling out his watch? Sharply
Yes; and | just found out to-day why it
was. Clubson- What is the reason (?
Sharply-Because he never recollects
whether he is carrying the watch or
ticket, and hates to give his pawn
broker away Burlington Free Press.
A GENTLEMAN living in Baxley re-
Gently dreamed that in a certain hole
under stump of tree he would find
fur collar which had been stolen from
his house. He visited the field, found
the stump, and, placing his hand in the
hole, felt a furry substance, pulled it
cut and dropped tie skunk on short no
tice, and has since been fumigating the
clothes he wore oa that occasion. He
says that dreams are failure.
PRESENT AND FUTURE.
took her lily hand in mine
lShe is my bride that is to bel,
And slipped upon that hand divine
A golden circle fair to see
Oh, sweetest time Of love and YOUTH
Oh, eyes that no dark future scan
oh, lovers vows and lovers truth.
Owe shekels to the ieweler man
She viewed the rubies blushing red
With gracious glances sweet to see;
Il fear no future, dear she said;
THE present is enough for me-
-Americd
KEEP STILL.
In one Of DR. Burton's Yale lectures.
the following advice was given to the
young ministers: "When trouble is
brewing, keep still. When slander is
c,oftf,,rr ~, -. H., - 1.1r rrr1