davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
SIX SMITHS IN CONGRESS.
other Names That Are Duplicated on
the Roll of the House of Rep
resentatives.

There are six Smiths in the house OF
representatives-three from Michigan
and one each from Kentucky, Maryland
and Illinois. There are three Wilson's
one each from Idaho, New York and
South Carolina. Two members of the
Williams family come from Illinois and
one from Mississippi, and they are all
democrats. There is Wheeler from
Alabama and one from Kentucky; one
Thomas from North Carolina and an
other from Iowa; three Aliens, from
Maine. Kentucky and Mississippi; two
Baileys, from Texas and Kansas; two
Clarks, from Missouri and New Hamp.
shire; two Claytons, from New York
and Alabama, and they are brothers;
two Cochrans, from Missouri and New
York; two Coopers, from Wisconsin and
Texas; a Crump and Crumpacker;
two Davenports, both from Pennsylva-
MIA; Fitzgerald from Massachusetts,
and another from New York; a Gardi-
ner from New Jersey and from Michi-
gan; Green from Pennsylvania and
another from Massachusetts,. There are
three Henrys-Patrick Henry, from
mississippi; Robert L., from Texas, and
f. Stevens from Connecticut. The
Jones family has two representatives.
from Virginia and Washington. There
is Little and Littlefield, a Meyers
from Louisiana and a Meters from Indi-
ana; one Moody from Oregon and an
other from Massachusetts,; one Norton
from South Carolina and another from
Ohio; Rhea from Kentucky and from
Virginia; Robb from Missouri and a
Robbins from Alabama. There is Rob-
erts from Massachusetts,, as we'll as
from Utah; Robinson from Maine and
Nebraska; Ryan from Pennsylvania
and from New York; a Stevens from
Texas who spells his name with a "ph,"
and one from Minnesota who spells it
with ''v." There are three Stewards
from Wisconsin, New Jersey and New
York-which indicates the poverty of
our nomenclature.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19

All these impediments to tra1flc
would be disposed of at once, by the
opening of these ports to steamers;
and the advantages following would
be very great. The pirates would then
have to quit their robbery. They could
not overhaul a steamboat.
River navigation in China is carried
on with great industry, if not skill.
Not only do they use the larger streams,
but the small ones, full of shallow rap
ids over which the boat must be al
most carried by sheer muscle, are used
for freight transportation and passen-
gers. These boats for shallow streams
are made with round bottoms and ends,
20 to 80 feet long, and are pushed by
poles, carried and dragged up the
streams, and float down.
1t is a life of miserable brute labor
that these poor boatmen live. A harder
lot can scarcely be imagined. Yet these
little streams must be used until roads
are built for carts and trains. AS long as
the only competition is the shoulders of
men, even this laborious use of naviga-
ton is the cheapest to be had.
Canals are more numerous in China
than in any other country in the world,
except Holland. The Grand canal in the
north, and some others, were made for
navigation; but the plains of central
and south China are covered, when
ever possible, with small shallow can
ais for irrigation. The water is pumped
from these by treadmill pumps upon
the rice fields, which must be kept GOV.
cred with water all the time. But these
canals are also used for Transports
ton, little f1at-bottomed rowhoats be-
ing seen everywhere upon them, car.
rying freight and passengers.
That which impresses the foreigne,
most in all this is how utterly obliv.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19

been prohibited. A very few excep-
tons have been made in favor OF small
steam launches run under a special
charter granted by provincial govern
ors, who, for this unexampled liberal
ity, would pocket large share of the
profits. All this will be changed by
the opening of the inland waters to
steamers.
Then, as in Japan, within a genera
ton the clumsy old junks will disap-
pear, and be replaced by steamers of all
sizes and sailboats of modern pat
tern. Along the coast and ON the
large rivers junks are used in great
numbers. They are built of thick pine
planks, with high stem.
Their tackle is of the rudest, involv-
ing great waste of strength in friction;
thus requiring double the number of
sailors. The sails are generally made
of bamboo and cane leaves, though
canvas is now occasionally seen. The
ordinary sea-going junk is of about
100 to 200 tonnage; though they make
them as large as 1000 tons. 1t is hard
~ necessary to add that these crude
vessels are about equal in sailing ca
pacity to Noah's famous ark, which
was not intended to do anything but
float; and the original pattern, from
which all have since been made, must
have been designed in the dim remote
past, nearer to the times of that an
cient shipbuilder than to the present.
These tubs" can sail with the wind,
it they have plenty of it, and not too
much. If the wind is high, or contrary,
they must put in to some sheltered
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
A Land Of PPOlnise.

Rev. Joseph Parker, the eminent
English preacher, confesses that in
his youth the sound of the name Van
Diemen's Land-now known as Tas-
mania-powerfully affected his i'm
agination. It was to him, as it has
been to many youngsters, all appall-
ingly mysterious place, but in time
it lost its evil suggestion, and he tells
how this came about in his recent
book: "a Preachers Life" At q
Methodist meeting in the north of
England the people had been singing
hymn in which the line: "We are
marching through Emmanuel's
ground" occurs, and at the close of
the hymn one good old man, whose
emotion was in excess of his intel;i-
gence, fervently prayed: "Grant that
when this life is over every one of us
may have a cottage in Van Diemen's
Land" The poor man somehow got
it into his head, by some law of men,
tai association which no one can fully
explain, that Emmanuers grounds
and Van Diemen's Land were prac.
tically one and tina same.--Youth,s
Companion.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
Shoot Him ON JUDGMENT Day.

II will have to give word or two in
explanation in order to insure a thor.
ough appreciation of this story" said
j. r. Rockhill, of Chicago, at the Fifth
Avenue hotel the other day. I'm the
southern Illinois town where my father
lives there used to be selectman named
Watkins, who had held office so long
and reached so advanced an age that
jokes about few die and none resign
he had solved the question of living for
ever etc., were constantly applied to
him. Another selectman by the name
of Lindsey, who was something of a wit,
was very sick and not expected to live,
and while he was in this state Watkins
fell ill of pneumonia, from which dis
ease he subsequently died. A friend
calling on Lindsey told him of Watkins
sickness and that his death was mo-
mentarily expected. A twinkle crept
into Lindsey's eye as he whispered to
his friend: No; Watkins won't die
this time. He'll never die. They'll have
to shoot him on judgment day.'"-N.
Y. Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
BEAR AND FoRBEAR.
Loving Couple Adopted = Pretty
Motto, But 1t Was Rudely Shat
tered i'm q Few Minutes.

| AS Bloomly sat at the breakfast
table toying with his coffee spoon, he
slowly gave vent to his thoughts.
I'VE have only been married siz
months, Birdie, yet notice growing
tendency on our part to indulge il
petty disputes. ! fear, too, that we
are not always as thoughtful for each
other as we might be. I'm in favor
OF turning over a new leaf. What do
you say, little wife?"
THAT you're right, as you always
are. You know that mother used to
say there should be two bears in
every family-bear and forbear."
"And here there was danger of you
and monopolizing the bear business
But now we will be more considerate
in speech and act.'
'And I will follow your noble ex
ample. I'm sure we can always be
happy even if we are not rich. Now.
dear, if you'll excuse me I'll run and
get some kindling from the She'd"
mo, no, pet. I'll attend to all that
now. It's part of the reform move.
ment, you know. Sit right where you
are. can attend to your chores in
a twinkling. Those little hands were
not meant for rough work."
'But you have cares enough as it is
I'll get the kindling and look after
the furnace
II must insist, Birdie. It's a mans
place to perform these heavier house.
hold duties. Hereafter you must leave
it all to me-"
II can't consent, dearest. I would
not feel as though I were doing my
part in making our way"
"You must not forget your solemn
promise to obey as we'll as to love-
Don't be masterful, Mr.. Bloomiy
I made a mental reservation in thu,
part of the ceremony, and did not
VOW away my freedom"
"You didn't, hey? Well, I rather
think that I'm the head of this house.
hold. Just bear in mind, madam, that
the furnace and the range will be my
special duty hereafter"
I'LL do nothing of the kind. Tn
the domestic member of this firm, anc
I'll run my end of the business. Now
I'll go for the kindling."
mo, you'll not"
SWELL see," and she snatched has.
ket as she ran.
go on!" he shouted. "Have you1
own stubborn, stiff-necked way. Re.
ject my loving overtures! Keep UT
your reputation for aggravating con.
trariness! Make a fool of yourself
and drive me to desperation! You car
run the COMPOUNDED shebang. but Iii
only call when I feel like it, and nc
oftener, either!"
As he banged the door he shut of
the maddening sound of ripping
laughter.-St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
NEEDED MEMORY TRAINED.
TOOK Peace Ofering Home to His
Wife Who had Been Away
Three Days.

"1'm looking for a book on memory
training" remarked red-eyed man
with reminiscent breath as he ap-
preached one of the statesmen in a
Ninth street secondhand book shop
the other afternoon. "You see, it's
just this way" he continued, without
giving the salesman a chance to an
swer. II met some old friends of
mine last evening and we started out
to make night of it. We whooped
things up at pretty lively clip and
when I started for home, about three
o'clock, knew there would be trouble
ahead for me when I got there. You
see, my wife hasn't any sporting
blood. Well, I was carrying my load
pretty we'll when 1 passed an all-night
oyster saloon, and I was seized with
brilliant idea. I'll just take her a
couple OF deviled crabs as a peace Of
fering,' I says to myself. You know,
my wife thinks there is nothing like
a deviled crab.
ut took about a. quarter of an hour
to get the stuff ready, and I was
chuckling to myself when 1 got home.
The keyhole was there all right, aud
1 crept> upstairs as softly as possible,
because l didn't want to take any
chances if she was asleep. She usual
ly keeps the light burning in our
bedroom until get home, but it was
as dark as pitch. I stumbled over a
chair trying to light the gas, but
there was never a sound from the bed.
I finally got light and discovered
that the bed was empty and hadn't
been disturbed. I didn't know what
to make of it at first, but it gradual
ly dawned upon me that my wife had
been down in Jersey visiting her
mother for three days, and 1 had for
gotten all about it. That's the reason
l want to get treatise on memory
training. "-Philadelphia Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

The inkstand which ornaments the
desk in the room of the vice presi.
dent issmassive, artistic and elegant
and it cost 1000.
1t was Gen. Custer who said, sc
years ago, that warfare in mountain.
Gus countries was almost impossible
without the aid of mules.
The American city which during
the first six months of 1899 showed
the largest gain in the number and
estimated cost Of projected buildings
was Cleveland, O.; New York came
second and Kansas City third.
Several hundred river drivers leave
Bangor, Me-, every spring for the
headwaters of the Penobscot, Kenne'
bee, Androscoggin and Connecticut
rivers, and there are always among
them some who never come back.
A revolution in bell making is al
hand. The bells will be tubular. A
tubular bell of 2A inches in diameter
and with range of one mile, weighs
1,54O pounds, while an old-fashioned
bell with the same range would weigh
$4,000 pounds.
A Gouldsboro (Me.) man has 10000
Holsters in pound which he is hold.
ing until next spring, when they will
be shipped to Boston. He erected his
pound last summer by building dam
across the cove, covering about three
fourths of an acre.
Plants have been rendered artificial.
~ Alpine by keeping in an ice DO,
at night and fully exposed to the sun
by day. The leaves grow smaller and
thicker, frequently with reddish
coloration, and the flowers become
relatively larger and more highly
colored.
The word khaki is derived from
H1ndoo root-khak, dust. Khaki i.
dust-colored or clay-colored. 1t wa.
originally used for the uniforms Of
East Indian regiments. Mr.. Kiplins
has spelled the word kharki, being lee
into it probably because the broa6
"a in the pronunciation gives, in it:
close relation to ''k," the sound of "r.'
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
TOO GAY FOR A FUNERAL,
How 1t Came That the Isis Club o1
MankatO Wore Football
Flowers,

Chrysanthemums will no longer be
used as mourning flower at funer
ais to be held in Mankato, Mimi, an
nounces traveller from that distant
community. It appears that a popu
lar young society man of that towr
recently died. He was a member Of
many social organizations. Each
strived with the other in indicating
at the ceremonies over the body how
much his loss was felt. The time oil
the year was the football season, also
the period when the chrysanthemum
defies all laws of color and faunts
it's wanton shades in public view. The
Isis society, to which this young man
belonged, in an unhappy moment de.
termined to attend the funeral orna.
mented with chrysanthemums. The
deceased had always admired the
flower, and it would be striking trib.
ute to his extinct preferences. An
order was sent to florist in st. Paul
to forward by first express 60 pure
white chrysanthemums to the Isis
members.
The morning the funeral was to
take place they had not arrived, but
there was train due from St. Paul
20 minutes before the services would
commence. One of the Isis members
volunteered to meet that train, secure
the flowers, hurry with them to the
church door and distribute them as
the society marched in. This was
agreed to, and the members marched
to the sacred edifice. The flowers ar
rived, were taken to the church door.
and there uncovered. The Isis was
just coming in, and quick action was
needed. The organ was playing
Nearer, My God, to Thee" when the
society marched up the center aisle,
each decorated with a faring red
chrysanthemum.' The florist, not
having white, had forwarded red with
apologies, and the unhappy delegate
to distribute them had given them
out without thought as to color.
Funeral announcements in Mankato
circles now bear the legend:
mo flowers"
The Isis society is divided within
Times-Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
THE FAIR DAY FRIEND.

o where are the friends you knew
In the days when you toiled away
In the days when your friends were few
The old friends. where are they?
- You have left them for men
Who looked down on you then
As one of inferior metal:
While YOU flourish your wealth
They will drink to your health,
And always expect you to settle.
When the dark days come again
Stop not at the gilded door:
Go back to the old haunts then
And the friends you knew before
Everybody's your friend
While you've money to spend.
Youare hail-fellow while you're in clover:
But friend at price
VIII have only advice
10 give when your hurrah is over.
-. E. kiser, in Chicago Times Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
Work of the Manner Rnl1et.

Other wounded on board the Jelunpa
spoke of the Mauser bullet as causing
only a sharp prick when it passed
through the arm or leg, says the Lon
don Leader. The wound it makes at
entry and exit is so tiny that a lead pen
Gil could not be used as probe. The
"paralyzing shock" credited to the
small-bore missile does not seem to be
borne out by experience. OF the 1928
wounded at Glencoe and Elandslaagte
brought round to Cape Town and sent
to Wynberg only three had to be carried
off the Jelunga in cots, all the rest suf-
fering from wounds in the head, arms
or body walked to the train.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
TYPICAL CHINESE JUNK.

nook and wait for favorable weather,
which may take day or month, or
even longer. 1t is not to be marveled at,
then, that there are no passenger junks
running from Hinghua by the sea to
the provincial capital, Foochow, only
70 miles north. It takes 4s hours to
travel it by land, taking the ferry the
second night, but that is much faster
than these boats are likely to make it..
A small steamer would make the trip
in one night; but the government has
persistently refused to allow foreign
built vessels to run.
Then these junks are the prey of
pirates that infest this coast. They
have their haunts on the islands and
inlets of this rough coast. In little
boats, that can be propelled by rowing,
they swarm out upon some large junk
that is becalmed. They throw fire-balls,
they are armed with muzzle-loading
shotguns and knives and spears. The
crewis slaughtered, or surrenders and is
bound, all the cargo taken, and the boat
set adrift. This is often done in broad
daylight. The local magistrate gets his
share of the plumber, and the pirates
are not molested. Occasionally the pro-
vincial government makes show of
putting a stop to it, by sending an Off
cial, with soldiers, to the chief GEN.
ter of piracy. But due notice is served
when he is coming, and by the time he
arrives the leaders are conspicuous for
their absence. The less guilty or in
aocent people of the neighborhood are
caught and beaten, or "squeezed," the
official and his train go back enriched,
and piracy is soon worse than ever. This
makes transportation by sea very haz-
ardous.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19

ious the native methods are to time.
Two miles an hour is a fair average
rate upon these canals: and ~ miles is
medium slow; three miles an hour is
swift dispatch, with strong, fair wind
and light cargo. When we are in a
hurry we walk. Launches of light
draught are sure to take the place Of
these wretched RATS for passenger traf-
fic in the near future. These well-wa-
tered plains are all very densely popu-
lated. and swift passenger service
would be we'll patronized.
WILLIAM NJ RREWSTER
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
Brigham Young a Humorist.

Brigham Young had shrewd sense
of humor that supplanted any de-
ficiencies in his miraculous gifts. A
cripple once came to him and asked him
to create for him new leg.
"What did you do with the one yoi,
lost?" demanded the prophet, sternly.
II burned it, was the answer.
'Well, brother" said Brigham, II can
get you new leg, but on the last day
that other leg would be raised up also,
and you will carry three legs into the
hereafter"
SWELL, I never thought of that" re-
joined the cripple. I'D rather go about
on one leg here than on three legs
through all eternity Y. Mail and
Express.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
Willing,

'You ought to be ashamed of such a
job Of whitewashing," said the irate
patron. "You ought to get into sack
cloth and ashes"
"'Deed, boss, was the penitent an
swer, I'D be puffickly willin' to eff I
could affohd de coal to make de ashes
id."-Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
SniCe BiRcuifR.

Rub two ounces of butter, and the
same of lard or clarified drippings
into eight ounces of fine flour; add
four ounces of sugar, one heaped des
sertspoonful of ground ginger, hall
a teaspoonful of allspice, the same oil
ground nutmeg and of powdered Gin.
namon; then beat one egg with
enough milk to make a gill of liquid
pour it on the dry ingredients, make
a smooth paste, cut into round cakes
and bake for half an hour in a moder.
ate oven.-Housewife.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
'Potato Oyster Pats.

Peel and boil IL medium-sized pota-
toes, mash fine, salt to taste, and add a
piece of butter the size of an egg, and
four tablespoonfuls of cream or rich
milk. Work into pats, putting two oys-
tiers into each pat. Dip in beaten. egg,
and roll in powdered crackers. Put a
little bit of butter on top of each, and
bake to light brown in a brisk oven.
Delicious for breakfast.-Home Maya
zine.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
Reason in His Grief.

Captain Ito Plachinsky, who thinks
the vessel is going down)-Brace up!
Brace up, and die like a man!
Plachinsky-It aind't dot I'm afraid
to die, captain; but choost before der
voyage I paid me a hundredt pounds
for plot in der cemetery; and now,
choost Gink, can't use it! Oh, it vos
awful, awful!-Tit-Bits.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
On n Boston Trolley Car.

Small Boy (partially soto voice)-
Gee! that woman must have swallowed
yeast cake,
Portly Lady (overhearing)-Yes, my
boy, and if your mother had taken a
yeast cake you would have been bet
ter bred.-Boston Transcript.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
Not Easily Forgotten,

"Oh, come, brace up, old man. What
if she wouldn't have you? Why, I'll
bet in six months you'll have forgot
ten that you ever cared for her at
ALL"
'Say, I guess you've never locked
her father up in Bradstreet's, have
you?"-Chicago Times-Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
A Worthy Object.

The Daughter-Don't you think,
mamma, it's running great risk for
me to refuse him the first time? He
might not ask me again, and you
know mustn't let him go.
The Mother-It is worth risking,
my dear, for you will have the satisfac-
ton of referring to the matter every
day during your whole married life
D,,oL
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
Very Natural Renection

whenever I hear of suicide I can
only think of one thing"
"And what is that?''
'"That man must have mighty poor
opinion of himself if he thinks that is
the best use to which he cap be putt
Chicago Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
DiscOuraGinH

II feel quite discouraged with N.Y.
self"
''Dear, dear!"
"Here I've been trying for almost q
year to be an advanced woman, and vet
I can't wake up in the morning and see
my reformed clothing on chair with
out blushing!"-N. Y. World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
Scaly Fellow.

There had been robbery at the
church while the funeral services
were in progress, and the suspected
person, stranger, who had seemed
deeply affected, got away.
"Can you describe him." asked the
detective.
EYES," answered the victim. HE
was carrying small alligator grip
and shedding large crocodile tears. -
N. Y. World
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
Very Unlucky.

Sam Sparks--Yo' fadder, Miss Prim-
rose, am an OF jack rabbit.
Miss Primrose-Well, all Abs got to
say, Sam Sparks, is if yo' cher Gums
across his foot yo'll find it de most
unluckiest rabbits foot in de dream
book.-Chicago Daily News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-01-19
Parsley and Onions.

Parsley should always garnish dish
containing onions, as it takes away
the odor most people object to. It even
prevents the aftertaste if eaten by the
individual who loves onions and must
have them.-Pittsburgh Dispatch.