Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
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There was once a discussion between
Reeve and Carlyle which so upset the
ideas of the former that some one said
to the latter: "You have destroyed
that mans Identity. Henceforth he
will be mere Carlylate of Reeve"
A kind-hearted duchess one day
stopped her carriage to give aims to
ragged woman by the roadside. "God
bless your ladyship for your kind
heart" fervently calculated the poor
woman; 81 am sure we shall meet in
heavenr This was too much for the
high-born DANES nobility. .'Oh good
ness graciousr' she said; s''drive on,
Johnr'
Some one had told Alice's father that
his little daughter sometimes said
naughty words. So one evening he
took her on his lap to talk to her about
it. .'Who told 100 ! said naughty
wordsY' she asked, her big brown eyes
full Of wonder. He was smitten to the
heart and reproved himself for his
credulity. "a little bird" he answered,
shamefacedly. "Ohp said~th child,
her face expressing great disgust, 'T
bet 1t was one Of 'ose dam little spar
rowsv'
Ole Oleson went to the circus the
other day, and got into trouble for as
saulting the elephant. what made
you kick him in the shins?' said the
judge. ''Vell, you see. eet vas dis way.
Ay dadn't not know. Ay take ma yoo-
man to circus. Ay buy um peanut Ay
see big elephant. Hay got-yot you
tank Ahay got two tails. Vel, bynby
hay take hay darn tail, hay stole ma,
peanuts. Ay tell ma wife eef ay know
which end hay got um head on av skall
break hay dam face. Ay dadn't not
know" 49,
In the days Of the public worship
regulation act in England, Sir William
Harcourt was invited to visit Lord
Beaconsheld, at Hughenden Manor.
On Sunday the young politician accom-
panied his host to the village church,
and on the way thither was warned
that some hints Of the high-church
movement had penetrated even that
sylvan solitude. "My friend, the vicar"
said the lord of the manor, "will take
what call a collection and he calls an
offertory, and afterward what call a
plate and he calls an aims dish will be
placed ON what l call a table and he
calls an ALTAR
DR.. B. A. Gould. the American as
tronomer, while student at Berlin,
was beardless, but had a good head of
hair. When he returned some years
later he had become bald, but had made
up for it by having full, long beard.
He entered the study of Argelanders,
the famous observational astronomer
under whom he had studied, without
being announced. At first the profess
sor did not recognize him. "Do you not
know me, Herr Professor" The as
tronomer looked more closely. Zach!
1t Is Gould NIT his hair struck
through"
An Ohio woman, visiting Boston for
the first time, had her greatest thrill at
Copp's Hill burying-ground. "As soon
as my sister-in-law and I got into the
place." she said, 81 found myself al
most stepping upon grave with an \
inscription on queer, little iron-cover
sort Of tomb. 1 jumped back, feeling
the way you do when you step on a
grave, and read the inscription, just
three initials. no name or date. Isn't
it pathetic? said to my sister-in-law.
oh, / don't know she answered. b.
w. w. means Boston Water Works." !"
The late King Of the Netherlands
lost no opportunity Of impressing on
his daughter Wilhelmina an idea Of her
great Importance. On one occasion the
Baroness Van R-was taking the pre-
scribed promenade with the young
princess, when a man on horseback ap-
peared. 1t was the baroness brother,
who had just returned from Java.
Leaping from his horse, he clasped his |
sister in his arms, covering her face |
with kisses. Wilhelmina, who was
seven at the time, was thoroughly scan
dalized, and the baroness hastened to |
send off her brother. Not another word |
they returned to the palace. The little |
girl recounted the story, which the |
queen listened to attentiyely, thinking |
Of the irate king and his thick cane. |
Finish your luncheon" she said to her
daughter; 81 win speak to the king"
at is for me to speak. Papa made me
promise never to hide anything from |
him." "Your father was in good health |
then; now he is very i'll, and I forbid |
you to trouble him." Without replying,
the little girl rose and went toward the |
door. Princess, the Queen of Holland
orders you to stay here and keep Sd
lent" said Queen Emma. Wilhelmina
stopped, drew back, then, making a
profound courtesy, said: "Since 1t is
the queen who gives the order,fI obey,
but''-turning toward the trembling
hope such a thing will
never occur again."
ACenhalOua ROoafera