Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1900-06-12

Correspondence on optics Of interest toths ladiea
n solicited. Address Editor HOMK1AKEn1'
CoLuMM. Oxford Democrat. Paris. Maine.
THE EDUCATING INFLUENCE OF
MEALTiME.
II is truism to say that Il r. hardly
possible to overestimate the influence Of
early surroundings upon after life, bat
Il Ii one that cannot b repeated too
often. Manners, language, habits OF
thought, moral princlple-all these (snd
these are the things that make up
mans personality take form during the
plastic period Of youth.
Every thoughtful mother knows that
certain times Ia the domestic day afford
special opportunities for impressing chill
dren-.he bedtime hour, for example,
when the lights are low and the house is
still, and the mother and child are
brought close to each other In spirit.
How many condolences are bresthed out
then into sympathetic ears! How many
admonitions and tender counsels fall into
receptive hearts that would have been
stony ground during the rush Of the day
--counsels that will have their fruitsge.
perhaps, years and years after the lips
from which they fell are muts.
Not less potent, In An entirely differ
ent way. Is the gathering around the
family board. This Is the social hour
the one time Of the day when all are
brought Together. What are some OF the
opnortunities IN prespntsY
MANNERS AND MORALS.
First Of all It Is the plsce, and the
only place, to teach table etiquette. The
child must eat all through life, and he
will not always do It at his mothers
table. Let him learn there, by precept
and example, to do It right--to manage
his food, the table appurtensnces and
himself, In an appropriate and unobtru-
sive manner.
The table Ii the place to teach chill
dren self-control, thoughtfulness for
others, the petty sacrifices that Emerson
SAYS make up good manners. The little
3-year old who Is required to wait pa
tiently her turn, on pain Of being lifted
down, Is learning valuable lesson, and
the comfort Of the whole family Is en-
fhsnced incidentally while It Is taught.
The hungry boy OF ten, hollow 70 his
toes, impatient TO be out at play, but
trained to help the rest before he helps
himself, to pass she coveted waffle to his
elders and wait for the next relay, IL
gaining In more than external polteness
he Is learning self-command and un-
selfish consideration for others. To
make this still more effective, each child
particularly the boys-should have
some part In the serving to do, helping
the butter, pouring the water, or similar
tasks. In many households this is left
entirely to the girls. Why should the
boys, who need II so much more, be
exempt from this discipline?
Children may and should be trained
both In the repression Of fault-fnding
about their food and the expression Of
appreciation. Nothing IL more trying
70 mother, hot and wesried with the
preparation Of q meal, than TO have her
one failure singled out as the object OF
comment. Ii IL often done thoughtless-
lly, with no idea of how Il will sting, but
il should not be done by husband, and
IL should not be permitted In child.
The rule should be: Pleasant comments
or none. And yet this negative teach.
ing Is not quite enough. Ii adds so TO
the pleasure Of life to know that our
efforts are appreciated. The father who
takes thought TO say, my dear, this Is
q very nicely cooked roast" Is adding
to his wife's happiness and Is educatin z
his children, as well. A fault-hndlng
husband will not be likely to 90 forth
from that home.
TASTE AND REFINEMENT.
The educating influence Of table APP
pointments upon the taste and refine
ment Of family must not be overlook
ed A teacher once said, III can keep
nv bad boy within bounds so long as he
has on q white collar and o necktie, but
when he drops the collar he drops his
desency with It." We are all better be-
hayed In good clothes. Children will be
more careful at = well-dressed table. A
coffee spot Is so much more noticeable
on q clean cloth than on crumpled,
soiled one; disorder so much more APP
parent IL there Was first immaculate
order.
The table pushed against the wall,
covered with q colored cloth or dingy
white one, and crowded with dishes that
look as II they had been thrown at II,
may subserve the primary end OF It's
being, but II will never be place where
mans esthetic nature will be nourished.
Suppose the mother who hsbitually
sets her family down 10 that kind OF a
table should conclude some day TO In
stitute reform. She draws the table
out squarely In the middle Of the room,
puts on exactly even a spotless white
cloth, arranges her pretty centrepiece
and bowl OF flowers, mskes her silver
and glass shining, and places her dishes
with the law OF symmetry before her
eyes, making this balance that and find
| ing the best place for each. When the
family come in, what do you suppose
they will says Why, ten TO one, they
will lower their voices and say, "Is
somebody here:" They are not prepared
for taste and beauty In the setting OF the
table unless there Is company.
| Suppose now this mother, pleased
with her experiment, should continue 1t
for year, daily finding new ways OF
making the table attractive and the
meal hour pleasant one. Will she a
the end Of that time, think you, 60 baci
to the old wayf No, no! She would not
want to, nor would her family. Giving
them refined surroundings will hsv,
raised them one notch higher In tn,
scale of refinement, and they will not
willingly drop back. 1t goes farther
than the present, too. As IL the mother:
home, so-without some miracle Of cir
cumstance-will be the daughters. The
only way to grow In refinement, as In
grace, is to live up day by day to the bes'
we know.
| TABLE-TALK.
The primary business Of mealtime
that for which It was instituted, we must
admit Is eating.
| We should be 10th to admit that the
only business of the hour at the table IL
eating. Ii is, indeed, time Of physical
refreshing and strengthening. 1t may
be made time Of intellectual strength
ening as well. In many families the
/ pnos hour In tho plaa utast hour NJ the