Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-08-26
THIRTY YEARS or CURES
MR.. D00LEY ON THE NEGRO
PROBLEM.
By f. r. Dunno.

Copyright, 1900, by Robert Howard Rus
sell)
whats goin' to happen to tn nay
gur?" asked Mr.. Hennessy.
We'll" said Mr.. Dooley, hell ay-
Their have to go to tn north an be
subjick race, or stay in tn south an be
an objick lesson. 'Tis a har-rd time
he'll have anyhow. I'm not sure that
I'd not as lave be gintly lynched in
Mississippi as beaten to death in New
York. If was black man, I'd choose
the cotton belt in prifrince to tn belt
on tn neck firm tn polisman's club,
l wud SO.
I'm not so much throubled about
tn naygur when)h he lives among his OPP
prisSors as l am whin he falls into tn
hands iv his liberators. Win he's in
tn south he can make up his mind 10
be lynched soon or late an give his
attintion to his other pleasures "
compOsin' rag time music on a banjo,
an wurrukin' FIR tn man that used TO
own him an now On'y owes him his
wages. But tbs tn divVle's own hard
ship FIR coon to step out iv tn rooms
iv tn S'clety FIR tn Brotherhood iv
Ma-an where he's been r-readin' a
pome on tn Future iv tn Moke' an
be pursooed be a mob iv abolitionists
till he's dhriven to seek polls protec-
ton, which, Hinnissy, is tn name f'r
| fracture iv tn skull
Il was FIR sthrikin off tn shackles
iv tn slave, me la-ad. Twas thrue
didn't vote FIR it, bein' that l heerd
Stephen A Douglas say twas oncon-
stitootional, an in thin days | wud go
to tn flure with amy ma-an FIR tn
| CONSTRUCTION. I'm still with it, but
not SO sthrong. It's movin too fast for
me. But no mather. Anyhow l was
FIR maxim tn black ma-an free, an
though l shtud be tn South as a
spoortin' proposition, / was kind iv
glad in me heart whin Gin'ral Ulyss
S. Grant bate Gin raj Lee an tn rest
Nv tn Union officers captured Jiff Da
is. l says to mesilf, Now, | says, tn
coon II have chanst fr his life, says
| |, an in due time We may injye him.
says.
An sure enough, it looked good FIR
awhile. an tn time come whin tn oc-
cas'nal dollar bill that whit acrost
this bar on pay night wasn't good
money onless it had tn name iv
naygur on il. In thin days they was
| young la-ad-a frind iv wan iv tn
| Donohue boys-that whit to t. public
| school up beyant, an he was as bright
la-ad as yed want to see in a days
walk. TIL larnin' iv that la-ad wud
sind Father Kelly back to his gram
| mar. He cud spell to make a hare iv
tn hedge schoolmasther. he was as
quick at figures as tn iddycated pig
! they showed in tn tint las week in
! Haley's vacant lot. an in joggeTphy,
astronomy, algybbera, jommethry,
.chemisthry, physiognomy. bassoophly,
an fractions l was often har-rd put
! mesif to puzzle him. / heerd him
! gradyooate an his composition was
SO fine very few cud make out what
| he meant
II met him on tn sthreet wan day
| afther he got out iv school. What
ARE we gOin' TO do f'r yeersilf, Snow
| ball says Ibis name was Andrew
| Jackson George Wash nton Americas
| Caslateras Beresford Vanilla Hicks,
| but | called him SNOWFALL him bein'
| as black as a coal, dye see-I says to
him: What ARE We gon' to do f'r
! ye'ersilf?' l says. I'm goin' TO enther
tn profession " law, he says, where
he me acooman an Industry I hope.
| he says, 'f'r to rise TO be a judge, ne
says, a congressman he says, a sin
| itor, he says, an p'rhaps, he says, "a
! prisidint iv tn United States, ne
| says. "Theyse nawthin TO prevint,' he
says 'Divvle a thing, says |. Whin
we made We free says |, we opened
up all these opportunities to We says
l. Go on, says l, an enjye IN wealth
| an position conferred on We be tn con-
stitootion, l says. On'y,' l says don't
be too free, I says. TIL freedom iv
! tn likes iv We is good thing an
| little iv it goes d long way l says. An
| iv | liver hear " ye bein' prisidiut iv
| tn United States | says, III take me
whitewashin' away firm ye'er father,
We excelsior hair, poached-egg eyed.
| projlny iv tar l says. FIR me Anglo
| Saxon feelin was sthrong in thin
! days.
We'll. l used 10 hear iv him afther
that defndin' ooons In tn polls coort,
| an now an thin bein' mintioned
| among tn scatthrin' in republican
| county CONVENTIONS. an thin he dhrop-
| ped out " sight Twas years befure
see him again Wan day l was walkin'
up tn levee smokln' a good tin clint
seegar whin coon wearin' a suit Nv
| clothes that looked like stained glass
| window In III house iv Dutch brew
er an a pop bottle in tn fr-ront iv
| his shirt, steps up 10 me an, he says:
How dye do Mistah Dooley,' says he.
Don't We know me-Misfah Hicks7' he
saws sSuowbaIl?, saws I sStep inside