davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16

Three negro lads met on a street cor
ner one afternoon. and by some queer
freak OF Providence each had just -
cents. This was considerable for them,
and, being so unfortunate as to have
no craps" it required much serious
deliberation to arrive at just the best
pan for spending Ii.
Finally one suggested that they
place their little capital in a pool and
then. each in turn, guess what was
good 10 eat. the best guesser to take
all of the money.
This plan met with hearty approval
as each one had ideas on that subject,
and the 40 cents was loOn in a pile.
Then the first one guessed
"POssum. sweet taters an water
melon" he said.
At this the second one reached down
aud began picking up his nickels, but
the third stopped him with: 'Hof on
darei Let dat money 'lone"' To which
the second replied:
You think Tze goin 80 guess agains'
that fool niger when he's done said
all der is good ter eatg-Typcs.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16

Once I sailed these seas, where are
the canniIals. with a cOTpalent cap
tain. Whenever q chief came on board
The first thing he was sure 10 admire
was the proportions Of our galElnt TAR,
and the chief would feel him and
smack his own lips and turn up his
own eyes at the prospect Of so much
fatness-going 10 waste. as one may
say. These attentions our skipper very
much disIiked-
Well. one dsy both boats were ab-
sent trading, and it fell suddenly caim-
'sThe old man" fthe forecastie name for
a skipper and self were the only
whites on-lS ard The strong currents
caught the vessel and carried her ON
to The rocks. and we could get no bot
to-a a hundred yards from the shore
The Undcrfiow from the waves kept
her from striking. The natives gath
cred on the cliffs, as ravens TO a car
cass, waiting for the catastrophe
took of all my clothes. and we waited
and waited for some two hours, the
natives recognizing the captain and
telling him plainly they would eat him
at last
The strain on cur nerves may De
Imagined At last the captains gave
way. '-Goodby. C.. old fellow" he
said. Those beasts VIII have me in
the ovens NJ once. You may escape
you are thin. II you see my old girl
again. tell her ! was thinking OF her
AZ the last" This was said with
culp and 4 quiver In the voice But
lust then the two boats came round
the point, having at last heard our
stern guns. and we were saved
Among the Man Eaters" by John
Garcin
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16
The sign Painters.

The question has been asked Of sign
painters hundreds OF times. (Which
letter OF the alphabet do you consider
the hardest or most difficult 20 maker
1t is but natural to make the In
CURRY. for to the novice some particu-
lar letters are more perpleXing than
Others. II is most generally conceded
by some experts that the Roman capI-
tai letter -R" is the most difficult
Others win say tina, an IS" is very
hard TO make, anG many strongly con-
tend that the character tx" is the
hardest and most difficult Of any in
the entire alphabet Practically speak
ing. all OF these letters are somewhat
difficult, and to the young beginner
they are not easily mastered.
II has frequently been supposed that
an artist OF ability on account Of his
great talent in drawing would OF
course naturally make a good sign
painter. but the experiment has been
tried and given up with unsatisfactory
results.
An artist may draw and pat1t a
most beautiful picture. but when II
comes to forming a perfect letter be is
entirely out OF the race. About AZ
years ago there were FIVE well known
artists of this city who were also ex-
perts at lettering. they having learned
and worked at this branch previously.
New York Times.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16

She des11ea t.--ss sas Oli4y Wy 10
run house economically wac TO keep
a set OF books. so she made I'll neces-
sary purchases. including a bottle OF
red ink, and started in
II was a month later when her hus-
band asked her how she was getting
along.
.'Splendidly," she replied.
1.-The system is a success. thenT'
YES, indeed. Why. I'm SEQ ahead
already;"
sixty doIlars." he exclaimed. 'Heav-
ems. You'll be rich before long Have
you started bank aecountT'
-No-o. not yet"
What have you done with the moa-
eyY'
-Oh. l haven't got the money, you
knowl That's only what the books
show. But just think OF being $50
aheadr'
TN, yes, But don't exactly see
"And all in one month too"
"0f course. But the money! What
has become OF thatT'
81 don't exactly know" she said
doubtfully. 'i've been thinking OK that,
and / think we must have been robbed.
What do yon think we had better do
about it:"
He puffed his pipe in solemn silence
for a moment and then suggested:
1--WE might stop keeping books
That's easier than complaining to the
police."-Atlanta Constitution
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16
saved His Honor.

"Vat ees eet, JeanT
"Monsieur. re doctaire comes today
20 vaccinate monsieur"
"Nevairei | viii die hrstl Eet ees
degradingI Eet ees an insultF'
But, monsieur. eet ees also ze law"
Shameful, How can | suTaire a
beast of a doctaire wi hees brutal
weapone to stab meme. re Count de
Mooscalonge? Nevairer'
But eet ees ze law. monsieur"
"Peridious law! All. have Get! |
have eet now! Beautiful Listenl You
win PREPARE re swords!"
''Ze swords. monsieur"
"Prepaire ze swords. On Ze point
Of one sword. monsieur. re doetalre
will rub his vaccinate mattaire. Seet
Zen he will difTaire from me on a ques-
tione. will feel insulted- | wiz chai
lenge ze doctaire. He viii accept. nam
ing swords as ze weapons. We viii
fight at once. and here ze dOctalre takes
re prepared swords. See? One. two
three. Ze doctaire pricks me slightly
in ze arm. Ha. hal Honor is satisfied
| am einater'-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16
Must Paw rar 70 Hold onOa.


Judge Johnson, Of Delaware county,
has decided against the claim of man 10
hold public Office when he has not paid
tax. AT the last election in Darby tow u
ship Leroy Haller, just past z years of
age, was elected Supervisor. 1He town
ship auditors refused TO accept his bond
when it was presented, and the matter
was brought jn.O court. The question
was then raised that be had not paid his
tax, and for this reason it was argued
that be was not eligible for the Office The
office was declared vacant
Hsller then became an applicant for
appointment to the vacancy by the court,
and was opposed by David f. Lewis
Judge johnson Thursday handed down
an opinion refusing to sppoint Haller
and appointing Lewis. The Constitn-
tioD says that man must pay tax one
month before election to become a quail
fed elector. The Court said: "The fact
that Mr.. Haller at the date Of his applica-
ton for appointment had never paid a
cent Of school, road, State or county tax
is not calculated to favorably impress the
Court with the propriety OF his appoint
mentu
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16
TIE co.sacl,. of the Don.

The Don Ccssacks are the finest look
ing race OF men ever seen. Klngiy In
their carriage. tall and slender. 1.-THE
and graceful. their untamed spirit visi-
bic in every motion, their bearing Is
that OF an unconquered people. Used
as living barrier against the Tartar
invaslons of Russia, they were never
conquered. Living In what they call
camps. each with his horse and gun.
they are always ready to move In re-
sponse 10 the emperor's call.
Their costume is a long. tight fitting
coat reaching TO the knee. having loose
sleeves and a small, standing collar
and with a row Of ammunition pockets
across the breast. The colored belt
which encircles the Cossack's slender
waist bristles with ornamented knives.
daggers and pistols. Soft. high boots
without heels and a great lambs wool
cap. with n little touch of color for
the soft crown. and then the burka or
long cape of hairy felt which they seem
TO wear in all sorts of weather COM
plete the costume. These burkas ap-
pear TO be worn on the theory that
what keeps out the cold keeps out the
heat Anyway. these long black or
white garments protect horse and rider
equally from the rain and cold.-Self
Culture.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16
Got Over the Limit.

The late Senator Sawyer Of WiSeon-
sin was n very generous giver of char
ity and Of presents. which neither he
nor the beneficiary would have cared
to denominate as charity. though the
gifts amounted to much the same He
told a friend one day that he was
going to turn over a new leaf and try
to keep his donations down to a limit
that would not exceed $1,000 a month
Three months after he had announced
this resolution his friend asked how
be had made out.
81 started out pretty well" he re
piled, ''and Ia hadn't given an old
friend OF mine IN Wisconsin who had
struck hard luck $4,000 last month |
think ] should have kept within the
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. RElletin.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16


Nr. Lincoln used TO take great de.
Eight In telling how he gained knife
by his ugly locks. That has been pub
lisheG. but have not seen another IN
print telling how he gained his wife
Mrs. Lincoln was beautiful lady, at
tzactiye. sharp. witty and relished n
joke even at her own expense. She
was staying with her sister. AIRS Ed
wards. She had not been there long
before everybody knew Miss Mary
Todd. She often said: when a girl.
thought I would not marry until l
rould get ore OF the handsomest men
In the country. but since / became q
woman ] learned can't get such a
nan, which has caused me 10 change
my mind have concluded now TO
marry the ugliest looking man can
find.''
Later on Lincoln came TO town She
had never seen him before she met
him on the street She was told who
he was and went home and told her
sister she had seen her man. the rgli-
est man / ever saw. Abraham Lin
coin, and am going to set my cap for
him"
Ih&t became q common EsJlng In
street gossip. When they wers mar
ried. instead OF taking q bridal trip.
they went TO the Globe hotel. owned by
the writer and occupied by a tenant
They took board at 81 a week. When
he got able, he bought a lot fos $500
and built 8 four room house costing
less than $1,000. When be received
5000 from his great railroad case. he
spent $500 OF It in putting a second
story on his house. and there he lived
until he went TO Neutrality-suspicious.
Lewis In Leslie's Weekly.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16


In his volume ON Present Dal
Egypt FREDERICK Pcnfeld thus de
scrlbes one Of The interesting sights
in the neigbl,orhood Of the pyramids,
the incubators In the native villages.
1T viii be found. be says. that the
Incubator Is e0psfructed Of sun dried
bricks aud so arranged internally that
the eggs. placed in mud constructed
ovens on trays cushioned with cut
straw. are constantly under the at
tendants view. No scientific apparatus
Is employed by this man. not even a
Thermometer. He knows from expert
ence and his own feeling how much
heat is needed. and he systematically
turns the eggs several times each day
until they are developed iato peeping
chicks
These Matching establishments exist
throughout middle and upper Egypt
and In a season bring fully 20000.0G0
chickens into the world that grow up
to be scrawny. unattractive fowls. The
industry is thousands Of years old and
seems conclusively TO settle the ques-
ton OF chickens maternity by allO-
eating that parentage to the hen laying
the egg.
THE Incubator Is a foster mother
only and is responsible for sitting the
setting instinct with Egyptian hens.
The keepers OF the incubatcrs have
system Of traffic with peasant farmers
by which eggs are purchased outright
or SIX live chicks given in exchange for
a dozen fresh eggs"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16
He Photographed up One Flight

That New York is 4 big city which
the stranger seldom learns very well
was quite forcibly impressed upon
certain well known Californian few
days ago. He visits New York twice a
year and has long since learned to find
his way about.
He WIS charging about In the busi-
ness district and suddenly remembered
that he wanted to telegraph to a friend
whose Offices are at l95 Broadway.
The Californian dashed into the near
est telegraph Office. wrote out his dis
patch and. covering It with the coin.
passed II through the wicket to the
receiver. The receiver smiled.
What is the matters' demanded the
Californian.
''Why, this Is 195 Broadway" said
the receiver. "and your man is up just
one flight OF stairs"
There was confused period that
lasted about a second. and when the
Californian got his nerve back he calm
IL said: Il know that Let II so any
way. | guess 1 can telegraph scross
the room or this counter II ! want to
and have the money. We do that thing
out In California every day for a joke"
The receiver m,y have been blufed.
but as receivers 20 they are hard 10
Impress San Francisco Chronicle.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16
The Boys .sFrrendv

A boy having been taken to task for
violation Of school rules, the principal
4 woman, told him to ask his father 4
call at the school Next day the DO
appeared with a rather seedy lo0kin
man whom he introduced as his f.
ther. The head OF the school and Wis
itor had talk. and the latter prom
ised to do all in his power TO make
the boy see the error OF his ways.
Some days later the boy was over
heard saying to some Of his compan-
ions: Il played a good joke on Miss
Blank I introduced bum as me IA
the. and she never caught on"
Wasn't that man your fatherY' ask
ed one Of the listeners.
Nope" was the answer. ale was
me friend. Brooklyn Eagle.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16

1t was In an art store in Fifth ave-
nue.. and the dealer was showing gid
ed clocks and candelabra TO a Gus
toner Pointing TO one particularly
handsome set, he said. THAT is worth
$3.50" Pointing TO another Of similar
pattern. but not so handsome. he said.
THAT is worth 5000"
But the ether one is better" said
the customer.
'Weli." said the dealer. ''the chief
value Of this one pointing TO the 5000
affair is in the gliding. II was gilded
by the mercury process which is now
forbidden by law almost everywhere.
The other one was treated with the
electroplafing process"
''Well. it's handsomer," said the Gus
toner. '1s It as durable? II 1t is, why
should | pay $3.50 more?
at is practically as durable. and 1t Is
handsomer.' said the dealer. But you
can duplicate ii. and you can't dupli-
cate the other The mercury process
of gliding was death TO the workmen
who engaged In it. They inhaled the
fumes OF the mercury. and in the end
It killed them. and it wasn't long do
ing it. either"
'T'll take the mercury one said the
customer. but the other is handsom-
er."-New York Sun.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16
Confusing.

When the matron called upon the
bride Of three months, she discovered
her in tears.
Why. my dear. what is the mat
teri" she cried.
81 want 10 die! want to der sob
bed the bride
There. dear. there: What is the
matterg"
~Irs-ifs Harry ssbbed the girl
wildly
HAS he been abusing your"
'NO-o-o. but-oh, dear, what shall
dOy'
"what on earth is the matter, dear?-
"He-he-oh. cant tell your
You must Has he been staying
out late nishtsI"
'No-o-or'
HAS he been drinkingY'
''No-o-or'
''Then what is the matter?"
'He-he doesn't love me any more."
The matron drew the sobbing girl 10
her side.
Now tell me all. dear" she whis-
pered.
"When-when he e-came home last
night, he didn't k-k-kiss mer' she sob
bed
Ny dear" said the matron. you'll
get over that When my husband came
home last night. he did kiss me, and
have been wondering ever since what
be has been up to."-Detroit Free
Press.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16

Eos Peary RefrIeved &iid Ducks
Lieutenant r. E Peary, the arctic
explorer. WAS born in Maine. He pre-
pared himself for entering Bowdoin
COLLEGE at Fryeburg academy in Frye
burg. in the western part OF the state
The following story Of Peary's early
days shows his method Of overcoming
obstac cles:
One Of his fellow fownsmeB while
ont hunting one day in November dis
covered q fiock of ducks 10 a pond
about two miles from the village The
man wanted the birds, but knew no
way Of getting them. even If bis shot
were effective, for he had no dog, and
there was no boat in the pond. en- his
way home be met Peary and told hisn
about the ducks and why he had not
fired at them
'sNow," said Peary. "Iet's go back 10
the pond, and If the ducks are stin
there l promise 10 retrieve all you
kill"
They returned to the pond, the ducks
were undisturbed. The weather had
been cold for several days, ice had
formed around. the shore OF the pond,
and the ducks were punched out in
open water. but within range Merrill
fred and killed two. Without more
ado than II he were about to take a
dip in the cid swimming hole on hot
July day Peary removed his clothing.
broke the ice with a heavy stick and
swan out. picked up the dead birds
and brought them TO land--Siaturday
Evening Post.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16

House Hunter-But are you sure that
the cellar is perfectly dryi
Real Estate Dealer-Oh. you may be
sure Of that! Never was a drop OF wa
ter ever seen In Il. even IN the wettest
kind OF weather.
House Hunier-Sorry about that. Do
you know have theory that damp
cellar is the healthiest thing In the
world. IN my opinion the water In a
cellar absorbs noxious gases. and, be
sides, il so moistens the whole atmos
phere OF the house as 10 make 1t more
grateful to the lungs.
Real Estate Dealer-Come 10 think
Of it. it was that other house on the
other side Of the street that has the
dry cellar. The cellar in this house is
never free from water Really, sir. ]
think it win suit you imnensely.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16

The editor OF Life and Beauty. n
British organ on hygiene and diet. sue
ceeded In eliclting from 4 few popular
writers replies on the subject Of diet
which they find most conducive TO
good work
Hall CaiHe wrote: Il am afraid /
have no theories on the subject Of diet.
IL ] knew anything that would be
worth telling, I would avaIl myself OF
Its advantages. being a constant msr-
tyS 70 all the troubles that attend eset."
Mr.. ZangwilI's answer was brief and
epigranmatic. Unfortunately have
never eaten TO work. but always work
ed TO eat"
John Oliver Hobbies confessed that
she tried vegetarianism for two years.
but now finds that. on the whole. the
ordinary diet Of the country IS the
best"
Nine. Sarah Grand said she never
drank milk Il never forget the hor-
ribie cow" she added Ia explanation.
Marie Corelli answered characteris-
ticaliy with quotation from ~Ham-
let: Il eat the air. promise crammed.
foB cannot feed eapens So"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16

You have probably tried the plan Of
making others miserable and found
Vttle comfort in it. Try making 9th
hfs happier. Possibly 1t win suit you
better. Too many people have the hab-
IT of saying disagreeabIe things to and
about others. There is no pleasure In
il, but there is so much unhappiness
in the world that you can gain genuine
satisfaction by saying kind things Of
people. by doing kind things. Don't
cut and slash. 1t only makes misera
bic people more miserable. The faci
that others cut and slash you is no ex-
cuse for adopting their mistaken poll
ey. With a little modesty and a little
kindness you can do missionary work
every day and accomplish a great deal
Of goOd.-Atchison Globe.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16

In prerevolutionary days there was
woman public executioner in Vir-
ginia. At that time death sentences
were respited on condition that Grim
inal should perform this Office
Lady Betty" as she was afterward
called. was sentenced 10 death for muir
der. She offered instead to become
public executioner and held this Office
for many years.
1t is said that on the scaffold she
0ffieiated without a mask.-Chicago
Times Herald
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16

A teacher OF music In one Of the pub
lie schools Of the south desired TO i'm
press the pupils with the meIning OF
the signs ~ and ar in a song they
were about to sing. After explaining
thai - meant forte he said, Now.
children. II r means forte. what does
'n' meanT"
Silence reignea for a moment, and
then he was asst nisbed to hear bright
little fellow shout:
"Eighty"-New LippIncott.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16
Took II away From tn, jury


There are any number of stories to
be printed about Judge Caldwell but
here is one that is said to be typical:
He was hearing an argument whereby
an attorney for an insurance company
was attempting TO eyade payment Of
insurance on purely technical ground.
Judge Caldwell interrupted him. Let
me understand you. Brother Todd" he
said TO the attorney. ''The policy was
IssuedY'
"Yes." was the reply.
"And the premiums were pald?"
"Yes"
"And it was not set on frer
''No"
"E5rother Todd" said Judge Cald-
Wet you can sit down. The jury
viii rcturn a verdict for the plaintiff"
indianapolis Sun.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16
Family Re.emhInnce.

A young gentleman took his little
sister with him while calling the other
evening at a house where he Is a regu-
lar visitor. The little girl made her
self quite at home and showed great
fondness for one Of the young ladies',
hugging her heartily
How very affectionete she is." said
the lady Of the house.
"Yes: so like her brother" responded
the young lady unthinkingly.-Bu Buffalo
Courier.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16

'If people were only compelled to
practice what they preaehF sighed the
theorist
what good would that doY dc
manded the practical man.
at would make the world better.
wouldn't itf"
"Oh. don't know. I'm inclined TO
think that whichever changes we no
ticed would be in the preaching rather
than in the practice. Chicago Post.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16
HIS Shots

Charley. dear" said young Mrs. Tor
klns. Il want you TO be more careful
about the use Of firearms"
"Why. haven't
Charley. dear" she proceeded. with
sweet severity. you mustn't try to
deceive me. | heard you telling yes
terday about how you fell down on a
long shot. If you must 90 In for such
things, please get gun that won't
kick. Washington Star
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16
Els one snrrestInn

Furthermore. John Henry Meeker," !"
said Mrs. Meeker. who was standing in
front Of the mirror and putting the
finishing touches to her toilet. Il want
you to take notice that am perfectly
capable of getting ready for church
without any prompting from you. and
you can cough and look at your watch
as much as you please-it won't hurry
me single second. Do you clearly un-
derstand thaty'
''Yes. my dear" mildly replied Mr.
Neeker, though | think ! could un-
derstand II little better IL you didn't
have your mouth quite so full of hair
pins "-Chicaso Tribune.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16

"My dear" began the extravagant
young wife. I've got several things |
want TO talk TO you about"
"Ah. that's reliefw exclaimed the
husband.
What isy' ;
TO be assured that you've got the
things you want to talk about You
generally discourse upon. things you
necd."-Philadelphia Press.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-05-16

do you think the shortest route TO
mans heart is through his stomach?"
asked Miss Gabby as she prepared to
exhibit her skiH with the chatting dish
TO young DR.. Powers
'oh. dear. nor exclaimed the young
physician. swelling up with the con
scionsness Of his superior knowledge.
The shortest way 10 the heart Is by
way Of an ineision through the left
subclavial section Of the tho ,eie parie-
ties"
Thus Is cold science Wrestling Cupid's
weapons one by one from the hands
Of the fair sex.-Baltimore American.