The Dickinson press., 1900-08-18

crowd to gather here tonight that the
| town of Jericho has ever seen. Give
every man notice as lie drops in today,
and along about Z o'clock I'll hev the
fire bells rung and the horns footed.
Tell 'em it's a big thing, pap; tell 'em
it's sunthin that's bound to jump this
town over a ten rail fence and make
city lots with a thousand dollars
apiece"
There was a good deal Of excitement
around town that afternoon, and when
night came the crowd at the postofice
was as big as the time when wal was
declared ag'in Spain. Most Of 'em
thought Bill Lapham was goin to de-
clar war ag'in Mexico or Canada, and
everybody was lookin pale when Dea-
con Spooner called the meetin to order
and said:
"Sons Of freedom, we hev gathered
here tonight to hear some remarks
from our esteemed Teller townsman,
William Lapham, and we kin take it
that them remarks will 60 beyand
geese and 'goslin's. Make your pint,
Bill"
"My pint is this" says Bill as he
draws q long breath and steps out to
git room. I'VE ar now in the midst
of the turmoil Of a political cam
paign. Somebody is goin to be elected.
I amt sayin who it'll be, but the gold
en- opportunity fur which Jericho has
sighed is at hand. When the newly
elected official takes the oath Of Of
flee, he will be escorted to and fro"
'"That's k'rect," says Deacon Spooner
as Bill pauses fur breath. "The speak
er amt through yit, but he's made a
pint already. When he refers to the
turmoil Of campaign, it's not only high
flown language, but n strong pint. Go
ahead, Bill"
"That escort will not only do the pres
ident proud" continued Bill, "but
every man in it will be mentioned by
all the papers in the United States.
They'll speak of his wife and children
and town and home, and he'll be a big
q fur the rest of his life. He kin be
elected sheriff without opposition, and
If any one runs ag'in him fur the legis-
lature they'll be showed under. What
I'm here tonight fur is to ask the ques-
lions: Why not organize the Jericho
Guards? And why shouldn't the
Jericho Guards be that escort?"
There was yellin and whoopin fur
the next five minits, but when the dea-
con could make himself heard he said:
"It's a pint, gentlemen-six or
p'ints. I've read all the speeches ever
delivered by Henry Clay or Daniel
Webster, and both Of 'em put together
never made the p'ints our Bill Lapham
has. Bein I hev the floor, I'll say l
favor the idea. Yes, sir, I'm with it
heart and soul. l want my name to
60 down fust fur the Jericho Guards,
and I'm even willin to sacrifice myself
and be captain Of the company. S'posin
we hear from Abner Jones on the sub
ject."
II s'pose it's known in this town that
my great-grandfather was killed at the
battle of Monmouth" says Abner as
he gets off the counter, Though I amt
braggin about it. I'll jest say that
I'm willin to die fur my country any
time I'm called upon, and if Pm elected
captain Of the Jericho Guards I'll
promise that no invader shall set foot
on these shores and live for five min
it's"
"Thar's a pint in that" says the dea-
con as he looks q bit put out. when
q mans willin to die fur his country,
that's a pint in his favor, but Of course
we want to hear from other patriots.
How is it with you, Moses Plumbers?
"Does any man here doubt that I'm
willin to die fur American asks Moses
as he draws himself up. my great
| grandfather didn't die at Monmouth,
but the blood of them seven uncles Of
mine that fell durin the civil war flows
In my veins, and my watchword is
Liberty or death!' AS captain Of the
Jericho Guards you'll find me at the
front, and If I don't kill at least seven
invaders a week you kin bounce me
out"
1.-THE seven uncles and seven invad-
ers is a pint, Noses" says the deacon,
"and I'm proud that we both live in the
same town. Bill Lapham seems to be
Uneasy, and I'll ask him If he has any
thing more to say"
"In the fust place." says Bill, "Fd
like to know If everybody is In favor
Of organizin the Jericho Guards"
Everybody swung his hat and yelled
out that he was.
I'm the second place, I'd like to know
If everybody wants to be captain"
Everybody swung his hat and yelled
out that he did.
"But everybody can't be-" protested
Bill. II don't want nobody to charge
me with bein selfish or conceited, but
I'm tellin you that this idea is mine
and that I'm the man to boss the Jer-
icho Guards. I believe I'm, the only
man in this town who wanted to enlist
to fight the Spaniards."
"Bfl makes a pint, and we can't de-
nv it." says Deacon Spooner, "but