The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-11-07

you mean by that?" said the lady. ''Well,
mann, do yez eat yez dinner in Iow-neck
dresses? | hev frind who says she'll
not take no place unless the family eats
IN low neckS, an l thought | wouldn't
either" So this is what we are al! COM
ing to! Not even our domestcs will en-
dure plain living" anG if one wants a
- cock she can't have her without pom
lslng 10 ''eat in low necks. Boston Her
aid.
In Elberfield friendly society has
been started among the old and wornout
soldiers and pensioners, entitled the Dis
telbeck club. The first paragraph of its
printed rules is as follows:
Object of the association: The burial
of its members"
We don't seem as if we cared to. read
any more.-Damen Journal.
You say your wife threw plate at
you?"
Yes, it was fine china plate. 1t
broke against my head
Didn't she appear sorry after she
threw it"
Yes, she appeared very sorry"
All, indeed. And what did she say?"
She said she was a fool not to CON
troll her temper
Good. And what else did she say?"
She said she didn't believe she could
match that plate again if she hunted the
town through. '--Cleveland Plain Dealer.
An advertisement has appeared in
local paper. in which a lady expresses
heF desire for a servant who will be eX-
pected Ito cook and dress children The
our-aHd-twenty blackbirds baked in
PIE. are not to be compared with this new
dish. Children dressed a la mode will
now have new significance in the fash
ion papers.-London Globe
Cnstomer-'Y GU advertise in the paper,
Military concert every evening instead
OF which You have nothing but a wretch
ed StFummer on the piano sitting up
yonder.''
Landlord-"Excuse me, sir the man
mas been twelve years in the militia."---
Daheim.
The J-year-old son W a prominent
Brooklyn clergymen is humorist of no
small promise.
At the evening meal that delicious Ia
bic delicacy, Technically and popularity
known as marmalade, was being PASSED,
and the boys mother declined it. His
ia her, however. helped himself bounti-
fully when the preserve was laid before
him, whereup0n the youthful jester looked
thoughtful for severai seconds, and
finally remarked:
Il Sh'd t'ink at better be called papa
lade. New York Mail and Express.
Among the campaign stories told is
this one:
The trolley stops; an Irish lady and
ten children climb in.
Conductor-"Are these your children,
madam. or is it picnic?"
The Lady-"They are my children and
it's no picnic. The Schoolmaster.
-:o:-
At S:15 o'clock Wednesday night the
immortal spirit Of ST Hawkins escaped
from its prison of flesh and scared into
that great conundrum yclept The I'm
known" and the vacant body was laid
to rest on the hillside on Thursday, Par
son Gray during the honors at the en-
tombment.
Death loves shining mark. It's said.
And you can wage our stockins
She got q top-notch thoroughbred
When she took shot at Hawkins!
May he requiescat in the usual peace
full manner until Gabriel leads the last
trump.-Denycr Post.
rs it de truth dat de Legislator gone
en- pass law ter tax dogs!" asked the
colored citizen.
Yes: it's a fact"
well, sub, dat bein' de case, heah's
one niger OATS teetotally ruint. Dey'S
seven dogs en- one mule in my fambly."-
Atlanta Constitution.
AS Horace Mann sat in his studio one
evening, an insane man. rushed into the
room, and after abusing him for all kinds
of fancied grievances, challenged him to
fight. Mr.. Mann replied: My dear
fellow, it would give me !. great pleasure
to accommodate. but l. can't do it. the
odds are so unfair. | am Mann by
name and man by nature-two against
one. 1t would never do. ITO fight" The
insane man aswered: yCome ahead; /
am man. and a man Beside myself; let
us four have q fight"
Corinne-"Beulah is so plain that
can't understand where she got the name
of The Supreme
Since no young man goes to
her until thrown over by the rest of the
girls, we call her the court OF last resort"
Denver News
Phyllis-'If YOU continue to be a roll
ing stone, Gordon, you will never amount
to anything
Gordon-''Th is one great advantage
in being rolling stone: you don't get
picked up for a fat."-Harlem Life.
A woman in Cape Colony on trial for
some offense was told that she might
challenge" anyone ON the jury to whom
she objected. She Immediately took adj
vantage of the permission by challenging
a highly respectable farmer. On being
asked afterward what her reason had
been for doing so, she explained that sh,,
had supposed she was obliged to object
to someone so she picked out the ugliest
MY wife learned French in five
weeks"
Does she speak correctly?"
well, Prof. de Verges says her
French is as good as any spoken in our
neighborhood. indianapolis Journal.
"How do you manage, to keep so cool