The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1900-05-24
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Mrs. Bunk Shys she reels as Ifee as
a bird In her rainy day skirt" "Well,
she looks like jay."-Chicago Record.
Barber-How would you like to have
your hair cut? Customer-Flrst rate.
Didn't just tell you that ! wanted IL
cut?-Harlem Life.
He-Awfully funny thing happened
TO me the other day. | was best man
to my own grandfather. She-Reallyr
How funny Hadn't he ever been mar
ried before7-Punch.
King Arthur was moved to tears.
"Sir Galahad." he sobbed, sis dead"
Say not So" exclaimed the court Jest
er; SAY, rather. he is enjoying "A good
knights rest. "-Philadelphia Press.
Hibernlan newly landed)-Phwot In
the wurruld do the bell be put on the
COW fori Jersey Farmer-To keep her
from gettin' lost Hibernlan-But sup
pose she do be deef. pivot thlnY"-
Judge.
Mrs. Jones treadlngl-One Filipino
got shot through the head, heart. lungs.
and stomach, and still recovered. MIR.
Jones-B-r-r-l It's thankless Job try
Ing TO ciyilize such a people as that
Judge.
Loves his fellow men: Switcher-
The new superintendent Of the trolley
road Is a very humane man. Ringer
Is he2 Switcher-Yes; he says lie VIII
run an ambulance behind every car
Bazaar.
Citlzen-See here. I'll give you
dime. but ! believe you asked Inc for
money only yesterday. Why don't you
learn some good business? Able bod
led Beggar--I have learned one, sir; I'm
n retoucher.-Llfe.
Wifely constancy: II have been mar
ried for fifteen years, and my wife
never fails to meet me at the door"
WONDERFUL Yes. she's afraid
might go In without wiping my feet
Chicago Times-IIerald.
Guzzler-Haye drink? BJones twho
is going slow)-No. thanks; I've just
had a swallow. Guzzler-But one
swallow doesn't make summer.
Bjones-But II sometimes means an
early fall.-Phlladelphia Record.
We have all met him: what sort OF
fellow is Bobbers in a social wayf"
"ob. he Is one of those idiots who
would say sweets to the sweet when
he was passing the pickles , lady OF
uncertain age."-Indianar lis Press.
Judge-Do you accuse this man OF
taking your property Band-leader-
Yahl He dake mine moosic-roll ven l
look away. Judge-Took you by sur
prise, chi Band-leader-Yahl He
steal a march on me.-Chlcago News,
Gladys tsighlngl- Papa is so eccen-
trie. Madeline-How so? Gladys-He
heard me telling mamma that Prof.
eye. my music teacher. had an eI-
lite touch, and he discharged the
ofessor immediately-Town Topics.
The process of profit: And are you
going to pay your money to see that
play which Is being denounced as lm-
moralY Certainly. ! think immoral
plays ought to be denounced. And as
fair-mlndcd person. feel that have
no right to denounce It until after
have seen it."-washington Star.
The little dear is lost again." she
said, as soon as she got home. "Oh,
that pugp' Eyes, that pug. II you must
Talk ike a brute. and want you TO
advertise for him." And this is the adj
yertisement as It appeared: "Lost-A
"a usage- shaped yellow dog, answering,
when hungry, to the name Of Baby A
reward will be paid for bis return to
81 Blank street, dead or alive."-House-
hold Words.
The real thing: Johnny (who Is jeaL
GUS of mamma)-Mamma likes me bet
ter than she does you'll Evelyn (who
ijoys teasing)-Why. no, Johnny; OF
ourse she loves Betty and me besti
Just think, she was our mother long
before she was yoursl Johnny (scorn-
fully)-Hoh, what OF that7 You are
nothing but a sample copy, anyhow
And Betty's only a trial subscriptionl
But am the real thing!-Life.
"wen," her father asked. do you
think you could support familyY'
my dear sir" the young man replied.
81 have made II q practice In life never
to cross a bridge until come to It."
"oh, you have. have your Well.
want you to understand that the bridge
l refer to Ii right In front Of you. I'm
looking for q son-in-law who will make
It unnecessary for me to care whether
| get to the Office on time or not"
MARY" said Mrs. Wilkins. did the
lamb chops and beefsteak ordered for
breakfast come all rightT "Yes.
ma'am." the girl replied And did the
boy all that order for sausage that
gave yesterday" "Yes. ma'am." I'VE
have ham and eggs In the house. too.
haven't weT Eyes. ma'am." "And
baconY "Yes, ma'am." LET me see.
Yes, Mr.. Wilkins will sigh for a good
old fashioned mess of mackerel to-mor.
row morning. That's the only thing
couldn't think of."-Chicago Times
Herald.