The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-12-30
Fun Of the World

him, snrieEing at the TOP Of their lungs: /
Exuy, All about the terrible acct !
dent! Number OF victims. Extryt''
The weIl-dressed man hesitatsd. then.
curiosity trluEsphirg. h produced a
nicke.. Give me o paper. sonny, be
said 70 one eff the boys, though I sup
pose its fake and there isn't VIC
tiu-.''
'.Dere's one anyways. and dats you.
retorted the Diogenes Of the pavement, {
dashing after his comrades
x zzE
The man who knew many things was
fnstructing the new and verdant ste
noerauhsr as 10 the use Of the various
once appliances. and finally introduced
her TO the speaking tube
Now. see said the map. YOU put
one tube 10 your ear and tns DINER 70
your mouth then whistle
into which one do / whistler asked
the Euilelsss stenographer.
-'Heavenst1 cried the man, which one
do You suppose you whistle n, the -ne
al your ear or the one at your noutA.
THAT wes what 1 wanted 10 know,
said the stenographer. for I whistle as
/ sing, entirely by ear
gs
Colonel Richard Malcolm Johnston
tells a story or an eminent Georgian.
Waiter T. Coqu.tt. who was a judge by
day. q divine an night, and a good deal
of a man all the time. While sesVnS a.
a Judge on the ChattahOochee circuit
Colouitt was returning one evening from
church in company with several members
of the bar wei" said he ny expert
ence today has been varied. held
court in the forenoon IN the interval
for dinner made @ political speech IN
the court house square. held court iu the
afternoon. after adjouruiug whipped a
Wing who made insulting remarks in
my presence about my noon speech. and
preached tonight
HE'S
Colonel Thomas p. OchHuee, the
racing enthusiast and recouteur. says he
is we8ried by the number OF bad stories
laid ID his door. But the colonel. never
theless. Is continually saying something
worthy Of being quoted, as the following
attributed TO him viii show. lie and a
friend were sitting III the waldorf when
the friend who had been reading of
Crokers arrival iu England ard Tod
Sloan's here. said:
Croker and Sloan declare they viii
give no interviews. There's no difference
between them.
.oh, yes, there is" corrected the colo
mel.
What IS ft?''
"One is denounced By the prints the
other IS renowned by the prince
< ss
An Englisman on his first visit 70
New York with his family stro.led down
Broadway alone one night and dropped
into a music han. he had hardly been
seated before two sketch artists perpe- /
trated the following.
Persiiage- Hear about Jones? Terri
bic thing happened TO Jones"
Badluage-'sN
age-"Yes. he dropped $50 feet
Badinage-"You don't tell me? or
course. he was killed"
Persihage-'- not killed. They were
pigs feet"
A half hour later the Briton Er7spe]
his sides and startled the house with an
outburst of cachiunatory ecstacy. Re-
covering. he jumped up. hurried out Of
the music hall. and soon reached his ho-
tel He stopped outside the door Of his
room and gave way again 70 SOUL
stirring laugh Entering the room, he
Immediately called to his wife:
Edith he cried 20, this Is he jol-
Hest ever" and he gave way again.
His wife looked at him Ia frightened
%. Editb. did you ever hear about
Percy smithers1"
''Na"
bah love. the poor fellow fell $50
feet"
How dreadfully horridi He must have
been awfuily mangled'
NO He fell on so pigs" and he ex-
ploded again. and did not subs he Until
a half dozen beHboys rushed TO his room
to make solicitous inquiries
& gE
Major Henry A. Newman the Missouri
ex-Confederate. was one Of those who
could s,e Tbind on I'm other issues bet- +
ter than he could on the paramount lie
got in the way 1T ignoring the subject
which the Kansas City convention had +
declared TO be vital One day during TIE
campaign Maior Newman was down q
Popular Bluff preaching Missouri De- [
mocracv pure ard Undecided u his best {
form. but RETAINING from any discus
sion Of "the haul-down-the-daE' propo- /
sItion Among ,ne Majors auditors was /
a citizen who marked the emission aui (
INTERRUPTED
How about the Panllpayins7' he ask-
"a with br07ue which Jeff nc doubt F.
as to his nativity
Major Newman continued without ar /
pearlng 10 notice the qucstioner
'I8ow about the PhnllDayius7" came T
again at the end ~ one ~ the Majors .
best 2eriods
BaIf a dozen Of these interruptions
followed with no apparent let-up 20 the 4
Ir4shman's persistence
NY friend" said Major Newman ~ f
length. 'T'n ten yoa about tae PaHli- /
naVIus"
The Irritation 81 sbe brorae vas per-
feet ard everybody eaucklef
.TI' tell vou. conH8euHaily" eaid fhe .
Major seriously what I'm in favor ~ .
doing with the PhHHpavins ia trad
tho PHILIPPE yins ~ Crest Britain for Tre-
land. and then we could ralse DOR own
policemen
Thfa afternoon at ihe storefitch coun-
ty court. Before his honor. says che g.
James Gazette. London. Judge Frereh
- c. ire Ferudale Laundry company.
n Daiaion lane was sued ay ST. W1of 4
1faloolmson. q gentleman - inlf peufe = +
means Of Church road. Stoke New 1E
ton. for ole ruiuea che value %
fancy silk walHtcoat alleged - haFe
been speued
PIairtIn raas THAT he cert the waist
coat to the Defendants % wa ht
uaen returned sd g lot - e3Te a
erez ca it
honor. fne objection h that IRE eefsae-
anita. 81 81 tse r wta aH iaHuarg
vork. tave gas reference ngmbee eu
r,a.rtls-art sp1s che wahtc-at
Fgfs horrr-fI rFer heard a more eh-
~ars claim or treg sr1fe ~ ste
tae tire - lae &
pr rcw-~ft 3 nos nsn
IRE r ~fNI t ~ 20 CT fs-
49, --e ---s.~ "a, 49, re~