davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
HE FOOLED THE SURGEONS,

HE FOOLED THE SURGEONS.
All doctors told Renick Hamilton, of
West Jefferson, O., after suffering IS
months from Rectal Fistula, he would
die unless a costly operation was per-
formed; but he cured himself with five
boxes of Bucklen's Arnica Salve, the
surest Pile cur on Earth, and the best
Salve in the World. rs cents a box. Sold
by Fischer & Co., druggists.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21

W. H. Shipman, Beardsley, Mimi,
under oath, says he suffered from dys-
pepsia for twenty-five years. Doctors
and dieting gave but little relief. Final
ly he used Kodol Dyspepsia Cure and
now eats what he likes and as much as
he wants, and he feels like a new man.
1t digests what you eat. Ireland's
Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
Let the War 90 On.

The shade Of %Bonaparte tramped the
lonely beach of st. Helena.
mo" yawned the great military
stategist, Il do not approve of the Boer-
Briton contest"
"And why not?" inquired the spirit of
a bold buccaneer.
"Well, it keeps me out of the maya
zines. Until these petty trays cease
am dead to the world"
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21

"How's is it, Bre'r Williams" said the
colored parson, dat you .shet yo' eye
tight wen de collection hat is gwine
'roun'? Answer me dat!s
Brother" replied Bre'r Williams,
wen you's %a-preachin' you th'ows SO
much light on de subject dat hit blinds
me-dat's why."-Atlanta Constitution.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
WORKING NIGHT AND DAY

WORKING NIGHT AND DAY
The busiest and mightiest little thing
that ever was made is DR.. Kings New
Life Pills. Every pill is a sugar-coated
globule of health, that changes weak
ness into strength, li%stlessness into en-
ergy, brain-fag into mental power.
They're wonderful in building up the
health. Only Csc per box. Sold by
Fischer q Co.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
THE APPETITE OF A GOAT

THE APPETITE OF A GOAT
Is envied by all poor dyspeptics whose
Stomach and Liver are out of order. All
such should know that DR.. Kings New
Life Pills, the wonderful Stomach and
Liver Remedy, gives a splendid appe-
title, sound digestion and a regular bod
lily habit that insures perfect health and
great energy. Only Csc at Fischer &
Co.'S drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
A Triae Previous.

You're all the world to me! he cried.
You think that because you have seen
little of the world! she ex%postulated.
Certainly it was not because he had
seer much of her. For they had met
but yesterday. Moreover, she had never
yet worm her golting costume in his pre-
sence.-Detroit journal.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21

"No family can afford to be without
One Minute Cough Cure. 1t will stop a
cough and cure a cold quicker than any
other medicine" writes c. w. Williams,
Sterling Run, Pa. 1t cures Group, bron-
chitis and all throat and lung troubles
and prevents consumption. Pl .asant
and harmless. Ireland's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
Suggested Improvement.

The Critic-There is no doubt about
your Uncle Toms Cabin being realistic,
but l think the ice scene could be i'm
proved upon.
The Manager-In what way.
The Critic-Well, you know the dogs
are after Eliza.
The Manager-Yes.
The Critic-Well, why not have an
up-to-date dog-catcher after the dogs?
Bet you that would take with the gallery
gods.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21

Otto Korb, Grand Chancellor, X. p,
Boonville, Ind, says, "DeWitt's Witch
Hazel Salve soothes the most delicate
skin and heals the most stubborn ulcer
with certain and good results" Cures
piles and skin diseases. Don't buy an
imitation. Ireland's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21

H. Clark. Chauncey. Ca. says De-
Wits Witch Hazel Salve cured him Of
piles that had afflicted him for twenty
years. It is also a speedy cure for skin
diseases. Beware Of dangerous coun-
feits. Ireland's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
And he Meant 10 We'll.

"A woman is as old as she looks, Mr..
Giiley," said Miss Smirk.
20, Miss Smirk," replied MI. Gllley,
who generally makes q muss of 1t when
he tries to pay q compliment, surely you
are an exception to the rule.-Detroit
Free Press.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
He Didn't Want to Be an Angel.

The Sunday school class was singing
l Want to Be an Angel, and the teacher
said to one little fellow: Why, don't
you sing louder, Willie? I'm singing
just as loud as | want to be an angel,
replied the incorrigible youth.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
Can't Beat III Game.

Ibid you bet anything while you were
at the races?
Eyes" said the sad-eyed man.
Lose?
No; l won $50.
"But you are not laughing merrily
and otherwise behaving in a proper and
consistent name
I don't feel like laughing. I thought
l had my luck gagged, and before l
started | bet a man $50 that l could bet
on every race and loose. That's the
kind of a Jonah l am. 1t cost me $50 to
win. Washington Star.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21

II troubled by q weak digestion, loss
of appetite, or constipation, try a few
doses Of Chamberlain's Stomach and
Liver Tablets. Every box warranted.
For sale by A. c. Ireland.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
Selfish.

Mamma, q me and Tommy have
some cake? asked little Bessie. Not un-
less you can ask dramatically, replied
the mother. Well, then, said Bessie
may | have q piece of cake?
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
4 Jocose Topic.

Mrs. Nagsy-I see the Duchy of Hesse
has put a tax ON bachelors. Serves them
right.
MI. Nagsby--It's a mean way of &C.
knowledging the happiness of unmarried
men. They'll never do that here.
Mrs. Nagsby-Why not, pray?
Mr.. Nagsby-You could no:tget a single
state to tax a single state, conld you?
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21

Prof. Summer says that only 10 per
cent Of the marriages are happy ones.
Well, replied the sweet young thing,
sven in that case let US remember that
the odds on marital happiness are about
10 per cent better than those on o happy
Post.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
Equal to the Occasion.

Proper Little Boy Ito New Boy)-Is
your papa well-to-do?
New Boy ION the other side of the
fence He's well enough to do your dad,
all right.-Chicago TRIBUNE.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
Childless people

NnlluleSS people
, often drift apart.
The wife seeks to
. satisfy her heart
, craving, by society,
always roaming
with a hungry heart"
The husband finds
the home dull and
goes to the club. The
happiest homes are
those which echo to
the love and laughter
of childish voices.
The condition
which preclude moth
erhood are often rem
ediable, h grow
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
ELIGIBLE to q Niche.

Knicker-Jones wants to get into the
Hall of Fame.
Bocker-But he can't, you've got to
be dead ten years.
He's lived in Philadelphia thal long.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
ACKER'S DYSPEPSIA TABLETS ARE
SOLD on

Positive guarantee. Cures heartburn,
raising of the food, distress after eat
ing or any form Of dyspepsia. One lit
tie tablet gives immediate relief. Is
cts. and so cts.
For sale at Fischer's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21

Cleanse the liver, purify the blood, in
vigorate the body by using DeWitt's
Little Early Risers. These famous little
pills always act promptly. Ireland's
Pharmacy,
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
MOKl TEA POSITIVELY CURES SICK
HEADACHE,

Indigestion and constipation. A delight
full herb drink. Removes all eruptions
Of the skin, producing a perfect COM
p~lexion, or money refunded. Is cts. and
80 cts.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
Not Her Fault.

Penelope hear that you became en-
gagged to him the second time you saw
him.
Marie-Yes, but l assure you that l
was not TO blame for the delay.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
Sweeping the Sidewalks

l know what makes the hail and snow
mamma, said 4-year Nettie. What, dar'
ling? asked her mother. It's the angels
sweeping off the golden sidewalks, was
the reply.u
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
THE BEST BLOOD PURIFIER.

THE BEST BIOOO PUNIFTER
The blood is constantly being purified
by the lungs, liver and kidneys. Keep
these organs in q healthy condition and
the bowels regular and you will have no
need of a blood purifier. For this pur-
pose there Is nothing equal to Cham
berlain's Stomach and Liver Tablets,
one dose of them will do you more good
than a dollar bottle Of the best blood
purifier. Price. Is cents. Samples free
at Ireland's Drug Store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
A Tair Explauation.

whats your idea of the difference
between optimism and pessimism?
''Oh, the optimist says 1t Is spring
when 1t isn't, and the pessimist says it
isn't, when it is.-Chicago Record.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21

Without q Moments Hesitation.
Teacher-What would you call q per-
son who is always looking into the
future?
Scholar-A ru%bberneck, ma'am.-
Yonkers Statesman.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
Up TO His Game.

THAT swindler was a clever fellow"
Nonsense. His brightness was only
skin deep"
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
AcKER's EMGEIsH REMEDY WILL STOP
COUGH

At any time, and will cure the worst
cold in twelve hours, or money refund
ed. Is cts. and so cts.
For sale at Fischer's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
Helping . Fellow Along.

Ferdy.-She says | am dull.
Percy.-YoU should crack q few Jokes
occasionally. Ask her to marry you,
or something like that.-Puck.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
A TESTIMONIAL FROM OLD ENG
LAND.

II consider Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy the best in the world for bron-
chitis," says Mr.. William Savory, of
Warrington, England. ut has saved
my wife's life, she having been a mar
tyr to bronchitis for owe six years, be-
ing most of the time confined to her
bed. She is now quite WELL" Sold by A.
G, Ireland.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
Announcement.

To accommodate those who are partial
to the use of atomizers in applying liquids
into the nasal'passages for catarrhal trou-
Wes, the proprietors prepare Cream Balm in
liquid form, which will DO known as Ely's
Liquid Cream Balm. Price including the
spraying tube is rs cents. Druggists or by
mail. The liquid form embodies the med.
ieinal properties Of the solid preparation.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21

DR.. Pierce's Pellets are a boon to
women Of constipated habit.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-21
A SATISFACTORY Explanation,

For sale at Fischer's drug store.
The age-herald., 1900-05-19
HE ONLY DAILY nsxspApsa IN ALABAMA
ExlIed in Indiana.

Pending a decision of the supreme court public view, and there is a prevalent im- pression that Gov" w. S Taylor is in Frankfort defying grand juries as we'll as the legislature of the state. The truth IS otherwise. He is in Indianapolis, the capi- tai of Indiana, where there is a republi- can Governor, who proposes to defy all extraditions that Kentucky may issue un- less those extraditions are signed by Tay- Tor himself No extradition proceedings can affect him or his associates while Gov, Mount is in power in Indiana, and Indiana is but thirty minutes walk from Louis- vile.
 If the supreme court should reverse the decision of the Kentucky court of appeals Taylor would at once issue pardons to all republicans charged with the murder of Gov. Goebel, including himself, and he would at once proceed in triumph from his Indiana retreat to Kentucky's capital. But if the supreme court should sustain
 
 be in pickle. His bargain with Gov. Mount would fall of it's own weight, and he would have to fall back on Canada at last. Nor would he be safe from extradition pro- ceedings in that land of snow and ice, for men charged with murder are not har- bored there. The truth is, he must, if the decision of the Kentucky court of appeals be sustained, appear for trial He must meet all charges as other men do. He must be tried by jury of his peers There is really no reason why he should not be. Some one killed Gov. Goebel, and it is the duty of prosecuting officers in Kentucky to find the guilty party or parties and fasten the crime where its responsibility rests
The age-herald., 1900-05-19
RIUH FOLKS WHO RENT

From the New York Press.
 No inconsiderable. number of our rich citizens live in rented houses, a fact which causes wonder. And not a few of our mill lionaires cruise during the summer in hired yachts when they could easily afford to have their own floatinF palaces. Charles Banlett Flint, who has owned a fleet of boats, has just hired a small steamer for the season. William Collins Whitney, who never owned a canoe, has hired a steamer Roswell Eldridge has hired one. The list is long. Busy men find it cheaper in the end to hire a yacht than to own one. They want it for about four months. while dur ing the rest of the year they remain land sharks. Whats the use of having a yacht that remains out of commission eight months out of twelve? The people who live in rented houses are usually unhappy married folk who are afraid to settle down. They exist on excitement and change. The husband is a club man, the wife gada- bout A home would be cage to them.
The age-herald., 1900-05-19

bergs is free from gorges capable of de- fence by a small force, and if Butler pushes on there may be severe fighting in Natal yet.
 But it is plain that the Boers are feeling the weight of numbers and resources. They are outnumbered at all points. Columns will be moving against them from all directions when Mafeking is re- lieved, as it doubtless will be. Even a column is moving down from Rhodesia. If Butler succeeds in carrying pass in the Drakensbergs, the contest will be of short duration, for his army will move upon Pretoria also, and the Boers cannot face both Roberts and Butler, not to mention Hunter in the western Transvaal, and the forces in the eastern part of the Free State and the forces now converging upon MafelSing. The burghers are doomed to defeat, and that defeat is near at hand
The age-herald., 1900-05-19
STATUS OF THE NEGRO
on the Cincinnati Star.

From the Cincinnati Star.
 The Race Problem conference at Mont gomery, Ala, listened to many solid truths regarding the negro, his status in the country, past, present and prospective. u Is believed that the conference, an annual event in the future, will accomplish much that it has set out to do. Of all the speeches made it is doubtful if anyone summed the question up so concisely and understand ingly as-Bourke Cockran when he said of the negro: His constitutional status is different from his actual status" There is the thing in a nutshell. Constitutionally he is the equal of all other citizens. Act ually he is nothing of race, color or prev ious condition of servitude. The people in sist that there shall be a difference, and there is a difference. That is an indisput- able fact. Whether it is an indestructible fact time and other race problem confer ences will determine.
The age-herald., 1900-05-19
$I,6oO IN PLAIN ENVELOPE
Illinois Banker Took This Risk and Lost
 Nothing

Bloomington, Ill.-Sixteen hundred dol
 unregistered envelope from an Illinois banker to a Bloomington merchant last week. The common manila covering in closed one $1, ,000 bill, one $500 bill and one
 $100 bill
 Postal officials say this Is the largest risk of which they have knowledge and that it is another illustration of the faith the general public has in the reliability of the mails and the fidelity of the men handling them. There was no check on the men who handled this letter and it could have been stolen as easily any ordinary letter that passes through their hands. Bankers seem to have more than usual faith in the mails, and few persons not on the inside know to what extent they make mail remttances.
 It was the bankers who first took to send ing money by registered mail exclusively. Not only did they begin this practice, but they organized an insurance company, the sole function of which was to insure ship ments of money by mail. There is a room in the postoffice build ing at Chicago in which may be learned the extent to which the public sends small sums of money loose in the mails All the | coins and bills which escape from their inclosures and are picked up fin postal cars are deposited in this room where each find 1 is registered, giving all the details, as | when, where, and how found and by whom.
 Much of the money is claimed and re- turned if the identification seems to war
 rant. But the amount unclaimed in all the eleven divisions of the railway mall
 service runs somewhere between $z,10O and $2. 800 year. Money has thus been accumu- lating in the United States treasury for years.
 Few persons outside of the postal ser vice are aware of the ingenious practices the public adopts to send money by mail without having it detected. It is found sometimes under strange guises, its pres- ence discovered only by sheer accident to the package.
 Then new inventions for inclosing coins | are constantly bobbing up. | The largest money shipment by mail of which any record is known was $20, ,000 000 | in gold. There were 400 pine boxes, each | containing $500 in s2O gold pieces. A picked
 
 1 guarded a special train on which the gold 1 was loaded at San Francisco, and carried safely to the sub-treasury in New York | It is a queer fact relating to the trans portation of money that the express com- panies would not think of assuming the same risk the government does. One of | the leading express trains on which money l is carried between the east and west is an arsenal on wheels.
 The government has never carried safes l on it's cars nor armed it's men save on special occasions The express people. how ever, carry heavy steel safes, which the messengers are not able to open. They are opened only at certain sta- tions, where the local agent rnlocks it. takes rout what belongs to him, and de- positse that to be shipped
The age-herald., 1900-05-19
General Buffers Advance

While General Kitchener is hurrying supplies to General Roberts at Kroonstad,
 the chief interest in offensive operations is transferred to General Buffers operations ready been turned and carried, and an ad- vance to one of the passes in the Drakens- bergs is probable. It is believed that he will attempt to cross the Natal line in the neighborhood of Majuba Hill and I.aing' s Nek. although at feast two other passes are open to him. No pass in the Drakens-
The age-herald., 1900-05-19
In Capitol Park.

The transfer to this city of a trophy gun
 of the war with Spain was the fitting oc-
 casion of two speeches of rare merit, breadth and patriotism. There is not a lover of American institutions in any sec tion of the country who would not have heard ex-Secretary Herbert and the stan dard bearer of the domcracy of Alabama, Colonel Sanford, with delight and full ap- proval. From first to last they pleaded for all that is good and true, and there was not q trace of denlagogism in the earnest words they spoke. They are both men of strong convictions, and they gave some of those convictions utterance in Capitol Park.
 It is cheering to think that demagogism in this state, and perhaps in all other states, has about run it's course. It may reappear in spots, but its pressure and dan gers will be limited It has received a check and lesson in Alabama at any rate that it will not soon forget. The people of Alabama have condemned 1t by prefer ring earnest men who speak their real con- yictlons. The speakers in Capitol Park and the states two great senators at Washing ton are eminent examples. Lucky the state that has four such men, ready at any time to render the people good service.
 Colonel Herbert's speech was largely de- voted to the trying times of his long and efficient congressional seryice-of the days of lingering passion and prejudice; and he lI1l tlo
 straints that were needed in those days when this section had been left prostrate in the fortunes of war He recalled, amid applause, the services of John Tyler Mor- gan in those days, and he closed his speech with tribute to all others who had aided in restoring the south to it's full position in the union. He spoke for the union--for all Americans, north and south. It was city should have heard.
 Colonel Sanford spoke largely in behalf of citizen soldiery in preference to a large standing army. He recounted the efforts and achievements of the citizen soldiery and when he came to the Civil war he was as broad, as patriotic and as thoughtful as he was eloquent and effective. He is alike scholarly and strong and few men in any state are stronger on their feet than he is. He spoke, too, in connection with the plac- ing of the gun, of the advantages to the world of Anglo-Saxon domination and cfvi- lization, taking the broad but unassailabIe position that the white mans burden rests in great part upon Anglo-SaXon shoulders Throughout his speech his we'll known love Tor humanity was apparent. All felt that his earnest words conveyed his own we'll considered conclusions. and all felt too, that he will make chief executive officer that the sta to will be proud of.
The age-herald., 1900-05-19
"rIM" UAMPBELL's IDEA OF IT

From a Washington Letter.
 Here is one of the stories which they are fond of telling in Washington at the expense of the genial ex-Congressman "Tim" Campbell. One sweltering day late in the spring, so the tale is told Tim sat down by his fellow congressman, Amos Cummings, and remarked with long drawn sigh, as he wiped the precipitation from his brow:
 .eThis is the sort of weather, Amos, that makes a man wish that he could retire to the shade of some primeval forest"
 Cummings assented to this proposition and then casually inquired: Whats your idea of primeval forest Tim?'
 Well" answered Tim, "I suppose 1t IS a forest, Amos, in which the hand of mar has never set foot"
The age-herald., 1900-05-19
THE DANDELION

James Russell Lowell. Dear common flower, that grow'st beside
 the way, Bringing the dusty road with harmless
 gold; First pledge of blithsome May, Which children pluck, and full of pride,
 uphold, High-hearted buccaneers, o'erjoyed that
 they An Fl Dorado in the grass have found Which not the earth's amply round May match in wealth--tfou art more
 dear to me
 Than all the prouder summer blossoms
 may be- How like a prodigal doth nature seem When thou, for all thy gold,- so common
 art! Thou teachest me to deemd More sacrdly to human heart, Since each reflects in icy its scanty gleam Of heaven. and could some wondrous
 secret show, Did we but pay the love we owe. And with a child's unGoubting wisdom
 look E. On all these living pages Of Gods book.