The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-12-08
DOOLEY O%N"L:AIGLON'
BY PETER F. DUNE.

Thu inimitable Mr.. Dooley has a new
book out, published by Robert Howard Rus.
sell. New York. 1t is illustrated by sue:
ear1eature artists as William Nicholson,
r. w. kemble and F. Upper. In the boob
MI. Dooley on 81 different topics
IN a pleasing manner. One of the timely
chapters Is devoted to Rostand's new play
"LAiglon," in which Sarah Bernhard and
Maud Adams are just now captivating
| american audiences. His version of the
popular play is as follows:
"Hogan's been tellin' me iv a new play
he Tread tn other day" said Mr.. Dooley.
lis be tn same la-ad that wrote tn piece
they played down in tn Christyan Brothers
school last year about the man with tn big
! nose, that wud dhraw a soord or a pome on
e'er man alive. This wan is called The Lit.
tie Eagle an it's about tn son iv Napolyon
the impror Nv tn Fr-rinch, tn first wan, not
tn wan I had tn fight about in Schwartz.
meister's in eighteen hundred an siventy.
Bad cess to that man, he was no good. l
often wondher why / shtud up fr him whin
he had hardly wan frind in tn country.
But l did, an ye might say I'm a vethran iv
tn Napolyonic wars. l am SO.
"But tn first Napolyon was a diff rent
man, an whin he died he left a son that tn
coorts TURNED over to the custody iv his
mother, tn Of man bein' on tn island-th'
same place where Gin'ral Crownjoy is now.
IT'S abou: this la-ad tn plays written. He
don't look to be much account havin' a hack
in cough all through the piece, but down
underneath he wants to be impror iv tn
Fr-rinch like his father befure him, dye
mind, on'y he don't dare to go out f'r it fr
fear av catchin' a bad cold on his chst. TIL
Austhreeches that has charge iv him don't
like tn idee iv havin' him know what kind
iv man his father was. Win he asks:
Where's pah" They say: He died in jail
What happened in 1862 says tn boy. In
1906 says the Austhreeches, tn BARN blew
down. In 1862 says tn boy. In 1906 tn
chimney smoked Not So says tn prince.
In 1906 me father crossed tn Rhine an up
he says, 'th' ARMED camps he marched to
Augaspiel, to L~ieberneck, to Donnervet. He
changed his boots at Mikelstraus an down
tn eagle swooped on Marcobrun,' he says.
Me gran'dad fled as fees tn hen befure tn
hawk, but dad stayed not till gran'pa, freed,
besought FIR peace. That's what me father
done unto me gran'dad in eighteen six At
this pint he coughs, but We sees he knew
what was goin' on, bein' taught in secret be a
ANY Nv III SNoSC u III "IOLl iiohuJ q 10 az
cud larn tn truth about his father.
"Still he can't be persuaded fr to apply
fr tn vacant improrship on account iv his
lungs, till wan day a tailor shows up to meas
ure him fr some clothes. TIL tailor, dye
mird, is a rivolutionist in disguise, an has
come down firm Paris fr to %injooce tn
young man to take the vacancy. fourteen,
six, thirty-three. How'll We nave tn pants
made, impror?' says tn tailor. War or two
hip pockets" says he.
"'Two hips says young Napolyon. What
do We mean be that?' he says.
"'Thirty-eight, seventeen, two sides, wan
watch, buckle behind. All Paris awaits We,
SIRE
"'Make tn sleeve a little longer thin this
says tn boy. AN fill out tn shoulders.
What proof have ~
"'Wan or two inside pockets?' says tn
tailor. Two insides. Handkerchief pocket?
Wan handkerchief. TIL pants is warn much
fuller this year. Make that twinty-eight in
Std iv twinty-siven,' he says. Paris shrieks
Fl ye,' he says.
"'Proof,' says tn la-ad.
They've named a perfume afther We, q
shirt waist, a paper collar, a fve-cint seegar, |
q ~ a way HiOlC, dDlCdhldstu isu
fr We is on livery lip. viii / for
ward tn SCOT collect?' he says.
"No, sind tn bill to me MOTHER says tn
boy. An meet me in tn park at tim he says.
80 It's planned to seize tn throne, but
it comes to nawthin'."
"Why's that?!" asked Hennessy.
"F'r tn same reason that the Irish rive.
ution failed, tn polls stopped it. TIL con.
met in tn park an were nailed be a
park polisman. They didn't run in tn boy, |
left him alone in tn place, which was
his father wanst fought a battle. As
lie shtands there coughin' he begins to hear
voices iv scoops that followed tn OF impror.
Comrade,' says wan. Give me ye're hand
I can't says another. 4 haven't wan left
Where's me Leg 'Sarch me- I've lost me
7oice.' Me mind is shot away Reach me
iome wather.' Pass tn can "A horse is
Iettin' on me chest What's that? They'se
batthry iv artillery on me- I've broke
'omething.' What is it% I cannot move
ne leg Curses on the cavalry Have ye
yot the time?' oh me knee, how it aches me-
Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha.' 'Veev, tn
Right about face, shoulder
FIRMS, right shoulder shift arms. March
l harsh, metallic voice in the distance:
Gin'rals, leftnant, g~in-rals, officers, sooz-
an men IT'S tn boys father. Tn
10Y pulls out his soord an says he: Come
IN, let's fight. Play away there, band. Blow
fe and banners wave. Lave me at thin.
;ome on, come on!' an he rushes out an
makes a stab at an Austreech regimint
hats come Up to be drilled. Thin he un-
herstands twas all a dhream with him an
lie raysumes his Of job. In tn next act he
That's a good act" said Mr.. Hennessy.
"'Tis fine. In Austhree where this hap
'ened whin a man dies ivrybody comes in to
ee him. Ye meet a frind on tn sthreet an
e says: Come on over an see Harrigan
Jump off, So whin tn la-ad is r-ready fr
0 60 out ivry body gathers in his room.
Els a fash'nable ivint, like tn horse show.
lmong those prisint is his mother. She's
frivolous OF loon, this Marie Louise, that
7as Napolyon's sicond wife, though between
on an me, Father Kelly has niver reconized
er as such, tn impror havin' a wife Twin
tat was as tough as they make thin. But
she was there. She hadn't done
luch fr her son, but she come to see him
f with siv-ral ladies that loved him an
Bein' q busy an fash'nable woman
ne cudden't raymimber his name. At times
be called him Frank an thin .Fronzwah'
a Fritz an Ferdynand'-'twas a name
with f. she knew that-but he fr-
i've her an asst somewan to r-read to him.
What shall it be? says a gin'ral: R-read