davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30
pUNGENT PARAGRAPHS

He (as the clock strikes This
Is the hour that gravevards yawn.
she-:.Well, they have my sympathy.
IN. Y. World.
Mamma said 11-year-old Frances,
Il love you dearly-dearly." 'Do you.
Frances?' Eyes, indeed, mamma,
Though you know all my faults, love
you still" Judge. .
Her Reason.-Fannie-"f you are
90 positive that Harry loves you, why,
for goodness sake, don't you accept
him and get married?" Jane He
won't ask me."-Detroit Free Press.
Muggins-"Topnotes sings with .
great deal of expression" Buggins-
Il should say so. I once heard him
sing Rocked in the Cradle of the
Deep and it positively made me sick. - ;.
-Philadelphia Record.
"Posterity will appreciate me-" said
the earnest statesman. That's all
right" said Senator Sorghum. But
the trouble about posterity is that it
always pays the CASH dividends to
somebody else."-Washington Star.
"Clara, your palms are all dead, but
you still keep the jardinieres in the
window" ''Of course, Charles; 1
want those new neighbors to think
that we have the palms or are going
to have palms" Jour-
nal.
|. Professor-"State the difference be-
tween a pessimist and IN optimist."
Pupil"A pessimist is one who
hopes that all troubles will come to
others, and an optimist is one who be-
lieves that all good things will come
to himself. f."-Town Topics.
Mr.. Noozy-"What has turned all
you women against Mrs. Weeds? You
were very sorry for her when her hus-
band died." Mrs. Noozy-''Yes, and
how did she repay our interest in
her? Why, she fixed things SO that
the papers shouldn't publish the
amount of money her husband left"
Philadelphia Press.
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30
tempt for the mockery OF an ostensa'
tion OF unreal woe.

tempt for the mockery Of an ostsntar
don Of unreal woe.
1t is fortunate for the country that
there have arisen time and . person
to stop this ghoul-like performances.
Mrs. Chickering has established pre-
cedent which ought to stand forever
as bar to future congressional tu-
neral committees. There ought to be
no more fundss paid out of ''the con-
tingent fund.- on such occasions for
champagne, whisky, cigars, gloves,
flowers, carriages, decorations, sumP-
tuous breakfasts, elaborate dinners
and orgy suppers on the funeral
trains. Well-informed people have
long been shocked and Inundated by
knowledge of the preposterous pa
geantry, the discreditable and vulgar
ostentation, the shameful junketing
on such occasions, and the extrava-
CANT expenditures incurred in these
fragrant parodies on sincere mourning
and heartfelt grief.
Mrs. Chickering deserves the admira-
tion of the country, the gratitude of
women and the plaudits of the people
for her firm stand against the con-
gressionalspree and vulgar demonstra'
tions of guttersnipes in high places.
She honored herself, and honored
her sex, in honoring the memory of her
husband ty thus forbidding the pres
ence of congressional committee at
the funeral.
It would require great deal Of time
to examine the books of the senate and
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30

I step upon that. I don't think am
very cowardly at such places, but this
was more than dared to risk. That
2,000 feet drop seemed too far down, so,
tying one of the stout ropes around me,
I had the men above hang on to it while
I was lowered to the rocky fringe.
And there, sheltered under the over.
hanging rock, was the long-sought
shrine. There may have been other
white men who have seen it before me,
but never heard of them. Thirteen
wooden figures, carved from cedar
with the rude stone or flint knives of
a primitive Indian people, stood in q
line, reared against the wall in this
cunningly hidden retreat. An army
might seek for it in vain. doubt
whether I could myself find it again.
Yet had my photographer come and
make a photograph of it, and then,
though with much difficulty, I finally
prevailed upon my guides to permit me
to take away two of the figures, and,
should any of my readers ever visit
Pasadena, CAL, where my home is, I
shall be glad to show them the first and
fifth images (from the Lefty which I
secrued from the shrine of Unaikah,
the warrior god of the Zunis.
G. WHARTON JAMES.
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30
llarx,s Reei!;sir,Ai.,

A7good little, girl Of 'olden day . was
Mary Osgood Sumner, whose ''Mon-
tor. or diary, contains q black list Of
her misdoings, which does not disclose
any veryserious fault, and q white one
showing what duties she performed.
She writes: -
July 8. left my. staise on the bed.
July g., Misplaced Sisters sash.
/. July: 10. Spoke in haste to my little
Sister, split the cream on the floor in
the closet.
July 12. left Sister Cynthia's frock
ON the bed.
July is. left the brush ON the
chair; was not diligent in learning at
school.
=. July II. I left my fan ON tn bed.
July 10. I got vexed because Sister
was a-going to cut my frock.
= July; 22. Part Of this day did not
improve my time well.
RI; July 30. I3was careless and lost NV
needle.
: August 5. split some coffee on the
table. >... j..
= The white list, which is a very long
one, shows her as saying her catechism,
making tarts and pudding, and being
. ''.midlin Diligent." Youths Compan.
ion. -
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30
THIS YEARS ECLIPSE.
eles to Take Place
In Nay.

Astronomers are now busy with
their preparations for observing the
eclipse Of the sun, which will occur on
the morning Of Monday, May, %. and
will be total along : track varying
from 40 to so miles in width, and ex-
tending from New Orleans to Norfolk.
From there the shadow will cross the
ocean, will traverse the Spanish PENN
sula, leap over the MediterraneanF to
Algiers, and finally leave the earth not
for from ancient Thebes. Before reach.
ing the United States twill have come
across Mexico and the gulf, it's entire
path being over 1000 miles in length,
Bays Youths Companion. ss''
1t is now more than 80 years since
q total eclipse of the sun last visited
the Atlantic coast Of America, in 1869;
nor will the thing occur again until
1925. At any given point, ther efore,
such events are extremely rare, and for
this reason, if NO other, are of great
interest.
Even to the non-astronomical OBJ
server the phenomenon is perhaps the
most impressive that the heavens ever
present; the moon slowly and inexor-
ably creeping over the face of the sun,
the gathering gloom, the swiftly nd.
vancing shadow, the sudden darkness,
followed by the wonderful spectacle
of the jet-black disk, set around with
the solar prominences like blazing ru.
bies, and surrounded by the lovely radi-
ance of the corona, with it's streamers
of pearly light, and then, all too soon.
the flashing outburst of light and day,
and the restoration of the world to its
accustomed aspect. 1t is q glorious
sight, not to be missed i its seeing is
possible; once seen, never to be for
gotten.
To the astronomer it il much more
. precious opportunity; for then, dur
ing few moments-about 90 seconds
in this case-he is permitted to study
the surroundings of the sun as he never
can at other times. All along the
track observers will, be stationed with
telescopes, cameras, spectroscopes, pho.
tometers and other appliances. with
which they hope, perhaps, to win some
new discovery concerning the mys-
teries which involve the great star that
rules our system.
The selection of stations is of course
mainly governed by weather probabil.
>ities. The data for the last three years,
carefully gathered by the weather bu'
reau, indicate that the chances are best
near the boundary between Alabama
and Georgia; but there are several
points in North and South Carolina
where they are nearly as good, while
the duration of the totality will be
some ten seconds longer-an impor.
tant difference for the astronomer
Near the coast, where the duration is
longer, the chances are poor.
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30
Supplyiae an Army.

An adjunct to every war seems to be
the statistician, and once again we are
assured by the figures he has been pill
ing up in connection with the South AT.
rican war. He tells us that if the inten-
ton of the British war department is
carried out to keep four months ad
vance supplies ahead in South Africa" !"
12,0oo,ooo pounds of preserved meat
will be necessary, likewise the same
quantity of biscuits; coffee, 100000
pounds; tea, 100000 pounds; sugar,
2,2oo, 1000; compressed vegetables, $780,
600; salt, 100000; condensed milk, &c.,.
600 cans.-Chicago Evening News.
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30
A o,sApPo,MrmeNr.

One time fixed my work all UP. There
want no chores to do.
Says l: "Iu jea' enjoy day Of loafin'
through an through.
won't git up no picnics nor do any sech
fool thing,
A-botherin' with the victuals an a-pushin'
of the swing.
won't do amy feadin', cause q book your
mind win test
An when you're thinkin' thoughts. OF
course. you can't ~ quite at rest
I'll have sthe time my dreahhin' has 20 long
an fondly pTtxed
An revel in the sweetness Of ambition real
ixed!''
So. with both hands in my pockets. I
walked out an viewed the sky; s.a
An then sat down a-waitin' while the lazy
hours went by.
An then thought I'D lose all earthly cares
in slumber deep.
An that's the first time in my life I ever
couldn't sleep. =, -~
grabbed an az an jumped right in fur
fair. a-choppin' wood.
To case my nerves. An nothin' ever done
me so much good.
An I've jes' about concluded. a. think 1t
Der anew.
That there atn't much fun In loahn'-cept-
in when there's work to do.
-Washington Star.
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30
SHRINE OF u XIX All, /
Sheltered from Curious Ryss by an
0verhanging Rock


Especial Phoenix (Ariz) Lstterl
THHREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY
years ago the spaniards entered
- the heart of what are now the
territories Of Arizona and New Mex
leo and subjugated them for God and
tho king of SPAIN" They found q
number Of strange peoples, the most
interesting of whom lived IN great
houses, two, three, four, six and seven
stories high. These houses served as
residences for q whole village and are
now generally known as community
houses, One of the best known OF
these aboriginal peoples are known
to us to-day as the Zuni, and still
inhabit seven villages in New. Mexico,
not far from the boundary line of that
territory and Arizona. Zuni is the
name given to them by others; they
called themselves the Ashuii - the
people.
The chief village, or pueblo, is in the
heart of picturesque valley, which
is suddenly revealed to the traveller
from the top of ridge on the sandy
slopes of which his weary horses have
slowly crawled, dragging the laden
wagon along. A sandy valley, dotted
here and there with weeds and brush,
with tiny stream meandering
through it's tawny and sred-colored
sand-yonder, black mass Of rugged,
jagged lava which once flowed in
liquid, fiery rock from q nearby crater.
In the distance, three miles away,
there rises from tiny mound on the
right bank of the little Zuni river the
great seven.storied community house
which denotes the presence of the
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30
Odd Effect of Electric Current

Odd Effect of Electric Currents.
In Brussels street traversed by an
electric tram car line, it has been no.
ticed that the trees on one side of the
way begin to lose their foliage early in
August, the leaves turning brown and
dropping off. But in October the same
trees begin to bud again, and some.
times even blossom. Meanwhile the
trees on the opposite side of the street
are unaffected, losing thir foliage late
in the autumn and budding only in
the spring. The cause of the anomaly
is supposed to be leaking electric cur
rents, which stimulate the growth OF
the trees affected.-Youth's Compan.
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30

the .thicket along the trail and stopped
facin' me not, 50 yards away. We both
kinder skeered each other, I guess, for
we stood lookin' at each other fer sec.
ond, and then the bear comes fer me.
I drapped everything, except the coal
oil, and would "a dTapped that,
reckon, but I had it hung round my
neck with q string, and started down
the trail. Jest lfttleways hack there
was a pole about 20 feet high put up by
somesurveyors four er 1--we years before
that fer some kind of = signal station
and when got to it I skinned up 1t
ike 80 cat; KNOWN that the grizzly
couldn't foller. ! made It jist III time,
too;, for when I Got to the cross beam.
Is feet up, he Was at the bottom reach
in' Ter me- and 20 close could feel his
breath On me. .
II wss so bad skeert that jist hung
scrost the besm and couldn't move y
hair. but I come to purity soon, and
wormed around till got straddle of it
hold on by. Then began 70 yell ter
my brother er anybody else that might
be ii sound, though there WASH t much
chance of that, SEEM that Twas any.
ways q mile from our cabin The bear
was busy all the time PAWN at the
post and shakin it till I was sure he
would pull it down or shake me out.
You see, it'had been there till it was
gittin' rotten at. the ground and all.
fired ~wobbly. I KEEP :. yellin'' an the
bear KEEP a-growlin' and a-pawin'; but
! was gittin' kinder used to it, now.
ana thought could stay up the
stump ~ long a. he could stay At ths
bottom Of it, with a mighty fine chance
of his gfttin' his skin full of 45-calibe1
bullet holes whenever my brother
showed up With his gun.
''But I wasn't going to enjoy myself
long; for presently begun to notice
that tho pole was beginnin' to swaa
under my weight and was leanin' over
8 little. Not very m uch, gents; but
some, and mighty little counte d fol
agood deal under them circumstances
When I saw what was bound to happen
it took all the hoaler out of me, and
couldn't yell loud enough for the bear
to hear me. I could feel myself goin':
goin', goin', as the pole swagged a lit
tie more every minute, and I could feel
myself hit the ground and the mex,
minute have the bear jump on top OF
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30

Women MissIonaries Marry Chinese.
The following remarks of the Ostasi-
atische Lloyd about Protestant lady
missioners in the far east are worth
quoting: 1T seems to become daily
more the fashion for European and
American ladies to fulfill their mis-
sionary vocation by marrying China
men. Scarce half a year ago Swedish
lady missionary set the unfortunate
example of marrying a Chinese coolie.
thus seriously injuring her missionary
society, and, in general, compromis.
ing the respect in which missionaries
are held. There is now q case in Can
ton of lady belonging to an Amer.
lean mission, Miss Halverson, marry
ing her former cook. There is great
sensation about it in missionary cir
cles, and it is really difficult to under
stand how lady, who goes to China
in order to help Christianize, can, after
so short time, do more harm to it
than long years of labor will make
good."-N. Y. Sun.
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30

mouse OF representatives., IN OrQer 10
secure the statistics concerning the
cost of all congressional funerals. But
in speech on this subject, delivered
in December, 1895, Senator PETER, of
Kansas, gave some statistics which had
been carefully compiled, and from that
official utterance the following facts
are gathered:
The first congressional funeral was
that of Senator Gaillard, of South Caro-
lima, which occurred February 26, 1926,
at an expense OF $s77.44. Twenty-four
senator's had previously died, and the
congress had Lot paid their expenses
of interment. Read how the expenses
increased from time to time in the fol-
lowing funerals of senator's:
John Fairfield. Of Maine. December "A.
1S47, $l,072.25.
Chester Ashley. Arkansas. April %. 1s4s,
81 1,505.42.
John c. Calhoun. South Carolina. March
81, 1850, $3,106.E.
Henry Clay. Kentucky. June q. 1852. S.
447.02
Solomon Foot. Vermont, March q. 1866,
A,S99.57.
Charles Sumner. Massachusetts,. March
II, 1874, $4,6S7.99
Matthew H. Carpenter, Wisconsin, Febru-
ary "a, 1881. $30l2.s4. 8.
John F. Miller. California. March g. 1886,
$3.632.34.
George Hearst, California. February q,
1891, $2l ,322.55.
Just look at the difference in the cost
of the funerals of the two California
senator's. The funeral of Senator Mil.
Ter cost $3,532.34. The funeral of Sen.
ator Hearst cost 21,322.55. The same
distance was traversed, and the ex-
penses should not have been very diff
ferent. Senator Hearst was popular
man, and a good man in many respects.
If he could have had anything to say
in the matter his funeral would not
have been three weeks junket for
senator's, representatives and favorite
employees, twice across the continent,
in the course of which upwards of $15,-
900 should be expended for champagne,
cigars and luxurious banqueting. He
was proud man, and rich man, who
would rather have paid all expenses
himself, even though they had been
twice as large, than to have had his
name recorded as it is in this manner.
Some of those who disgraced his mem
ory in this manner still hold public
places.
This is but a brief presentation OF
facts; only partial culling of Incl.
dents from a vast accumulation of in
cidents of this nature. The people do
not know, and it is just as well that
they do not know, the many ways in
which their moneys are wasted, under
various pretexts and devices. But the
disgraceful funeral junkets which have
occurred should be known, at least in
part, in order that the brave stand
taken by the wife of the late congress-
man from New York may the better be
understood and the more fully appre-
ciated.
Without redundancy, but for the
sake of emphasis, the. statement may
be repeated that this good woman has
honored herself, honored the memory
of her husband, and honored her sex,
as we'll as rendered service to her coun-
try, by refusing to permit recurrence
of revolving scandal on the occasion
of the closing of the grave over the
body of her beloved.
SMITH D. FRY.
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30
HoMEL1FEoFANAvAL WOMAN
She Has q Peculiar Faculty for
Making = Home on an
Hours Notice.

One of the hardest questions naval
woman mustn decide is where exactly
her duty lies,' between her husband
and her children, writes Anna A.
Rogers out of her own experience in
Woman's Home Companion. Poverty
generally decides. it in favor of the
latter, leaving her no choice but to
stay with her family during the three
years of his cruise. At such times the
wife remains in entire eclipse save
for the letters, many and long, that
strive to bridge the separation, and
it is in these letters and the COM
panionship of her children that she
finds her chief consolation. But
should there be that desirable thing,
source of private income, the wife
is apt to hold different views, and she
goes to the station where her hus-
bands ship comes to a given port
every six months for the necessary
preservatiye docking. Wifehood is
ascendant, and the children are those
of hotels, steamers and railways; lit
tie poseurs, nervous, overwrought,
enemic, prematurely knowing as to
the world and its ways, strangely
ignorant as to what is called educa.
ton. Then there is the third type,
the childless wife, who scampers
about merrily from port to port, and
who has a consequent and sufficient
accumulation Of "experience" to make
envy epidemic among the departed
saints. This very homelessness leads
to specialized faculty among women
of the navy for making a home any
where and at an hours notice. A
wife will arrive perhaps day, per.
haps two hours before her husbands
ship reaches given port. She i'm.
mediately finds house or q room,
wires the address to the husband, SO
that the message will 60 off with
the mail-orderly in the first boat
ashore after the ships arrival. Then
out of perhaps one trunk will come
forth a marvellous international med.
ley of little walI-hangings, a mantel-
drapery, sash-curtains, 'table-covers, a
vase or two flor flowers already
bought on the way from the rail-
way station), some photographs, a
few books and the usual dainty toilet
paraphernalia of the modern woman.
When at last the longed-for step hesi.
tates outside her door, and an expert
mental rap is heard, it is freshly
arrayed, radiant wife and hostess in
her cozy little home who cries:
"Come!" and springs to the door.
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30
THE FUNERAL TRAIN.

gresham, in the senate and house of
representatives, committees of those
bodies were appointed to attend his
funeral, ostensibly to show to his
neighbors and friends the esteem in
which he had been held by the con-
gress. The sergeant-at-arms of the
senate and the sergeant-at-arms of
the house made preparations for q
funeral train to bear the congression-
al joint committee to the scene of the
funeral. Their preparations were cut
short, however, by the decision of
Mrs. Chickering that no congressional
committee would be desired by her or
by the other members of the family.
Congressman Chickering was a very
popular member of the house of rep
resentatives. The announcement of
his death caused sincere sorrow to
those of his colleagues who knew him,
and he was we'll known to almost
every man in public life. But a con-
gressional committee could not have
honestly shown respect and esteem
for him, unless the members of the
committee had departed from the Gus
tom which has prevailed of late years.
On all occasions when the subject
came up for discussion Mr.. Chickering
denounced the hilarious junketing in
dulged in by congressman on funeral
committees, and he often declared
that if he should die, while member
of the house of Representatives., he
would want no junketing at his funer-
al. His wife saw enough Of the hollow
ness of this congressional mockery;
and it is to her eternal honor as a
wife, and to her everlasting credit as
an American woman Of the highest
type, that she carried out the wishes
Of her deceased husband, and also
demonstrated her own individual con-
The Worthington advance., 1900-03-30

main strength, and with ropes around
our bodies, up cliffs where it was in,
credible that even the Indians could
climb. At length we stood by the side
Of the ruined village, abandoned 200
years ago, when the Zunis and the
spaniards made peace, and soon looked
on the comical wooden figures that rep
resented the twin children Of tho sun,
and where devout zunis often come to
worship. %.s, d ~
Now began my siege with sTsnehay
about the shrine was so desirous of
finding. asked him to take me to it.
{. "Me no sabe!" he replied. 7.
!. s-''N Nonsense!'' I cried. "You know well
enough where it is, and I want to see
it before I go down." .~
"No! Me never see it," he answered,
and no amount of persuasion or talk
could get any other answer from him.
At length, somewhat out of patience,
I declared: II know Unaikah has q
shrine up here and I'm going to find it.
and you are not going down until I do y
Seeing that I was thoroughly deter
mined he held q long and private con-
sultation with the two young men, and
then announced that "for considera-
ton" his son would take me to it, but
that he himself had spoken only the
truth when he said he did not know OF
it's existence.
Slowly we wended our way across the
mesa top. In the far-distant valley we
could see the Zuni pueblo. Suddenly,
on the very edge of a frightful preci-
pice, the son stopped and said: Here
1t isl" 1 looked about and could see
nothing. While my attention was thus
diverted the young man disappeared.
Where had he gone? Had he commit
ted suicide? I looked over the preci-
pice, but could neither see his falling
body nor his mangled remains at the
foot of the cliff. Where was he? While
was thus puzzling heard voice.
''You> comet"
But where? Again I looked down,
and this time the young mans head ap-
peared from recess in the face of the
cliff, and, pointing to fringe of rock
that stood out little way from the
dangerous precipice, he suggested that