Barbour County index., 1900-06-27

i
prove faithful you will be admitted in.
to full membership as . Chump. Then
come the side degrees and the chance
for promotion. The emDlems Of oul
order are the whip. the corkscrew, the
bottle and the paddle.
1.-The whip signifies authority, and
teaches Us that we should always obey
(, our party bosses.
"The corkscrew is useful imple.
ment In political campaigns, and every
member of our order should become
familiar with its use.
1.-The bottle is one of the most potent
factors in shaping the events of man.
kind. Its proper and judicious use has
been known to wrest victory from the
jaws of defeat. No true Chump should
neglect this branch of our noble order.
The paddle is the emblem of sub.
mission, as you will soon have occasion
to know. Whoever submits most hum.
bly, to its application is most worthy of
admittance to this order. By its use
you will be tested, and by its test your
fitness for promotion will be judged.
The w M of G will now conduct you in
to the presence of the Most Wonderful
Spanker, who will proceed to apply the
test"
Most Wonderful Spanker (holding up
pair of old pants)-"Stranger you see
these pants. They once belonged to
one of the faithful who starved to
death rather than violate his oath, and
vote against his party. This patch on
the right hand side OF the seat is the
emblem OF republicanism. It was
placed there by the members wife,
who starved under the administration
OF President Harrison. The one on the
left was placed there by his daughter,
who starved under Cleyeland's. But
our heroic brother was faithful to
the last, and died rejoicing amidst the
music of brass bands and the glare of
torchlights. AS he could net vote af-
ter he was dead. he was buried in the
potter's field. May you take his life,
death and burial as an example of your
conduct. You will now prepare for
the supreme test. This paddle as you
SEQ. Is four feet long. This represents
the swing that some men have over
others. In the spanking end of the
paddle are nine holes, which represent
the Supreme Court of the United
States, the court of last resort. The
paddle itself represents power, as you
will soon perceive. AS your submis-
sion to this ordeal indicates that you
are willing to take anything that
comes, you will now place yourself in
an humble position-on your hands and
knees" (The candidate gets down on
all fours.)
M w S-"I now proceed to apply the
supreme test. Whackl whack! whack!
whack! whack! whack! whackl whack!
whackl whack! whackD You will now
rise to your feet, and while you take
your meals standing for the next two
weeks you will have ample time to
mediate on the beautiful meaning of
the emblems of our order. The w M
of 9 will now conduct you again to the
Mighty Brain Enlightener for further
instruction"
Mighty Brain Enlightener Ito the
candidate)-"Having submitted to the
supreme test, you are now prepared to
receive the passwords and signs of the
Doodlebug degree. The grip is given
with three fingers only-thus. The
password of this degree is yellow dog ,
1t signifies that you would vote for a
yellow dog rather than bolt your party
ticket. The challenging sign is made
by going through the motions of insert
Ing corkscrew into bottle, and sig
nifies that you are 'One of the boys.'
The answer is made by going through
the motions of pulling cork screw out
OF bottle, and signifies Il am with
you.' When you enter the lodge room
you will walk up IN front of the high
muckamuck and lie down before him.
Ii he hits you with his whip it signifies
that you are alright with him. If he
stands on you, it is sign of his dis
pleasure. and that you must hump
yourself to restablish yourself in his
favor. l now declare you a member of
the Doodlebug Degree of the Loyal So
ciety of Old Party Chumps. You will
now be conducted to the Most Excel
lent Scribbler, to whom you will give,
your name. age, occupation, and ad-
dress"