davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
FOR THE COURT OF CLAIMS.
AuthOrity Proposed for the Purchase
of the Old Corcornn Gallery.

Mr. Mercer has introduced bill in the
House authorizing the Secretary Of the
Treasury to purchase the old Corcoran Art
Gallery at the corner OF Pennsylvania
Avenue and Seventeenth Street, TO be used
by the Court Of Claims, or for such other
purpose as may be determined, The bill
specifies that the price paid for the prop
erty shall not exceed $3.50. 600, or il shall be
acquired by condemnation proceedings,
conducted in accordance with the terms OF
the act of June %. 1890. to provide for an
eligible site for a city postoffce.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
Mississippi River improvement.

A large delegation composed OF residents
Of New Orleans, Memphis, and Kansas
City was before the House Committee on
Rivers and Harbors yesterday in favor of
the Improvement Of Southwest Pass. Mis-
sissippl River This project contemplates
the expenditure OF about $4,000 coo to open
a channel through the pass Stuyvesant
Fish. Of New York. President Of the IL
Iinois Central Railroad. read paper show
ing the value Of the proposed improvement
to the commerce OF the Mississippi Valley.
and N. J. Sanders and J. W Bryant OF
New Orleans; Alonzo Bryson. OF Davenport.
Iowa; Pilot Redman a veteran Of the Mis-
sissippi, and f. d. Bigelow. OF Kansas City.
all spoke in favor OF the bill for the i'm
proyement.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
FoRTY-NINE MILLION
The Cost of Military Operations in
the Philippines

Secretary Root yesterday transmitted to
the House detailed statement of the ex-
penditures of the War Department Gov
ering the military operations in the Philip
pine Islands from May l, 1898, TO Novem-
ber l, 1899. The summary is as follows:
Office of the Secretary Of War. 50. 79S:
Office of Judge Advocate General. $I,.33:
Quartermaster's Department S25. rs 902: /:
Subsistence Department, IS 950. 900; Medi-
cal Department. s1,2O6. 137; Pay Depart
ment. $40, ,S33 l35; Engineer Department.
s64 .692; Ordnance Department 81. 500. .239;
Signal Office, S2S6.924. Total, $4S, 1925, $50.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07

candidate for county treasurer ont in Indiana
carries around a machine which relieves him Of
the labor Of tllkiHg to the people lie gives them
respectin9 the political situations AMI then he
gives them ore containing popular song. His
campaign is attracting much attention. and II is
believed he is making votes which he would not
have otherwise obtained. In this case the phono-
graph is winning the votes for the candidate but
il takes case Of Heurich's beer TO win the peo-
pie. II is extremely interesting that when a glass
OF Maerzen, Senate. or Lager is drank Heurch's
is always drank, because it only requires one
glass Of these superior beers to convince the peo-
pie that they are pure and wholesome and are
brewed Of the best malt and hops.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
Reconstruction of Fort Hamilton

The House Committee on Military Al
fairs has decided to make favorable re-
port on the bill of Mr. Clayton of New
York for the reconstruction OF Fort Ham
ilton, in New York HaTbor, according to
plans prepared by the War Department.
The bill authorizes the Secretary Of War to
acquire additional lands and appropriates
$3.50 900 for the work
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07

The District Commissioners have rendered a de-
cision in the case Of Private John p Potter OF
the police force to the effect that his tna before
Judge Kimhll on February Il, was properly con
durtcd. aud that no injustice was done IN couuec-
;o,,,s1t - a picture agent by Ar Potter from
his home. for which be tried in Police Court
and fined $40.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
MasOn's Health Defenders.

1eilOW Dlhptpsads
Brown Tablets cure Constipation.
Red Tablets cure Coughs and Colds.
White Tablets cure Sore Throat and Tonsiltis
Free from Calomel, Aloes and Opium.
30 Tablets. 1Oc; large size, Csc and Soc.
Mason's Cream of olives Ointment
25 Cents.
Safe and sure remedy for Piles.
Cures Catarrh, Asthma, Group, Colds, and all
OF mucous membrane and skin
Endorsed and for sale by all prominent drug
gists or mailed free for price by H. 7. Mason
Chemical Co. SIS Arch St, Philadelphia, Pa
Sold and endorsed in Washington by
HENRY EVANS. 93S st NV.
EDWARD STEVENS, 9th ana Pa ave.
MACKALL BROS. cor. 9th and II sts ne
L. S. LEADBEATER & SONS Alexandra, Va.
ACKER & AFFLICK. 1929 Pa. ave.
c. C. c. SlMMS. cor. I4th st. and n. Y. ave.
EDWIN YARNOLD, 1922 c st. sw.
KENNERS PHARMACY, 17th and O Sts. NV.
W. G.. DUCKETT, Penn ave. and 22d St nw.
J. W. MCDONALD. cor. n. Y. Av. & ". Cap. ct.
WAKEFIELD HILL, Alexandra. Va.
BURY'S PHARMACY. Anacostia.
4. z. CIsSEII. 10th st. & n. Y. ave.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
A Junior Republic Mass Meeting.

mass meeting of the National Junior Republic
will be held at the Columbia Theatre Sunday
night, March H. for the purpose OF discussing
affairs of interest to the Republic, This Junior
Republic is an institution for the reclamation OF
hoys from the cities Of Baltimore and Washing
ton who might drift into criminal careers. Senator
Dcpew will speak at the meeting, and it is hoped
President Mckinley will attend.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
EIiznheth B. RusseII,s CInim-

Mr.. Lorimer has introduced in the House
a bill authorizing and directing the Secre-
tary Of the Treasury TO pay to Elizabeth B
Russell $3.50 in full compensation for all
claims while employed as a female guard
in the United States District jail at Wash
ington. d. c., prior 10 April l, 1894. II
was referred to the Committee on Claims
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07

Representative Gillett has introduced a
bin providing that no Intoxicating liquor
shall be sold in the Philippine Islands, ex-
oept on the prescription OF a physician, in
quantities Of less than twenty gallons.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07

An amendment to the Diplomatic and
Consular Appropriation bill proposed by
Senator Hoar appropriates $3.50, 600 to be
paid Liluokalani, late Queen OF the Ha
waiian Islands. The purpose of the pay
ment is not mentioned in the amendment
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
THE DISTRICT EXPENSES.
Mr.. GaIIinEer to Propose Amend
ments 10 the Appropriation Bill.

Mr.. Gallinger yesterday gave notice in the
Senate Of amendments which he will pro-
pose to the District Appropriation bill
The first Of these appropriates 1864. AS for
the salaries Of 32S teachers at $500 per an
mum each. instead Of grading the salaries
OF that number of teachers from Si0O TO
$500 per annum, as was done in the origi-
nal bill.
A second amendment appropriates $1,000
for the Woman's clinic
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07

Mr. Scott introduced a joint resolution.
reading: That until otherwise provided
by Congress the President OF the United
States shall exercise and employ all mill
;sry. civil. and judicial powers. necessary
In his discretion to govern the Philippine
Islands. and all such powers shall be vest
ed IN such persons. and exercised and exc
cuted IN such manner as the President
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
THE HAY-PAUNcEFoTE TREATY.
\ Report To the senate Foreign Re-
Intions Committee Today

The Hay-Pauncefote Treaty will be re-
ported without recommendations of any
kind. to the Senate Committee on Foreign
Relations at its regular meeting today by
the sub committee to which the conven-
tion was referred.
The subcommittee held a short session
yesterday morning and went over the re-
port which has been drawn up. 1t is
historical review Of the canal question and
of the status and effect OF the Clayton
Bulwer Treaty.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
ADOPTED BY THE SENATE
Action Taken on the Conference
Report on the Currency Bill.

The FfnnI Debate Before the Vote
Mr. Allen Declares the Measure 20
Be in the Interests of the National
Bnnks-UnIimifed Power Granted
10 the Secretary of the Treasury.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
stops the Cough
Phonogranh for Campaign speeehes.

Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets cure a cold In
one day No Cure. No Pay. Price 25c
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
A TRANSPORT FROM PORTO RICO.
Fhc Fitzpatrick. From SHa Juan.
Touches Newport News

NEWPORT NEWS. Va. March 6.-The
United States transport Fitzpatrick arrived
here this afternoon from San Juan. having
run short Of coal at sea She is bound
for New York and VIII sail tomorrow af-
ter replenishing her bunkers. She has
aboard 200 horses, So mules. and 2S pas
sengers. These last include women. chill
dren and several soldiers. The animals
will be sent to st. Asaphs. Va. near
Washington, tomorrow morning and the
passengers will go directly to their homes.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
Railroad Men.

Owing to the nervous strain to which they daily
subjected, the physical hardships of the constant
jOlting, exposure to all kinds of weather and rregu
lar meals break down in health unless nature is aid
ed in the unequal struggle. Eighty per cent of the
railroad who have been in service any length of
time, afflicted with form of kidney disease,
and the standard remedy in use by them is Warmers
Safe Cure.
Kindly read the subjoned testimonial from Mr..
Charles b. Ross, of 2S4 61st St, New York city,
railroad conductor the Metropolitan Railway,
which is but sample of hundreds Of voluntary
statements received by Warmers Safe Cure Co.:
by the use Of Warmers Safe Cure have just
from a severe attack of kidney trouble Ny
very bad condition Every o body
tense pain, and at last to
four months several specialists
but relief was obtained when taking
After the G medicine. I
able walk brsky and n a days so i'm
proved o able my I
fered heartily
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07
The WIN of Marin O,ReiIey.

By the terms OF the viii OF Maria 0'Rei'cy.
dated June .. Is9I. the tsstdtrix itft al her
property 10 her niece. blanche ke1rncv.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-07

MEN Kidney trouble preys upon
HAItN the mind. discouTages and
AND Lessen lessons "a ssmoitioIi ss,i beauty.
WOMEN disappear dis a, when s the Kidneys
For pleasing results use DR.. Kilners Swamp Root,
the great kidney remedy. At druggists. Sample
bottle by mail free, also pamphlet
Address DR.. Kilmer & Co.. BinshaInton- n. Z.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27
PUsT-INTELLIGENCER WANT ADJ
AGENCIES.


Tia roxt-intelycucer has established branch agcnr
tea where classified advertisements will be received
pnt1 10 .. m each dag. The rates chared at the
brunch agencies the A. the POST intelii-
cancer business office Cash ads only will b. taken,
at branch agencies Following q the Hist Of aaenciss-
yOrke HmrrtngtOnp drag stores
9co0nd avenue ard rike,
broad Way Phnanaay, r. =. FishsFp
1s~aavay and Junss-
Henton HfIl Pharmney, Madaa0n,
osreet and Fifteenth avemue.
WaI1a wallis Pharmacy. TWENTY
Mrvt and Eawt Jencrsoa.
Freeborn's Pharmacy. Ninth sve-
Aue south and Jackson.
shirtisn's Drag Store, Twenty
thtrA nvenus so1th and jackson.
seAnats' Druw Stors,, 1O2S Hovwsil,
r0sner DDren.
north sesttls PhsRnasy, Battsry
anA First avenus.
A, n. Guy'S Pharmacy. Denny way
4nd FIFTH avenue north.
r. ID. Costi9nn's Pharmacy, Queen
Anne avenue and Roy street.
RALLARD.
rresten's Pharmacy, Daalard sy-
FREMONT.
Frement Drug Company LaIks
stBest and EwiaR avenns.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27

NATHAN PHILLIPS. fes Occidental ave-
nue.; bargains, new and unredeemed
watches. 1ewelry. Nail osdexE solicited
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27

TAKE NOTlCE-The State or Washing
what noted as places where we HAVE
SOME RAIN, but we can say that the
SUN is brightly shining at MORGANS
estate, business chances and lodging
houses We have just added to our al
ready established real estate, business
chance and lodging house business at
the above No. 1011 Third Avenue, under
the exclusive management of Mrs. N. Il:
Morgan, a complete house renting and
room renting department., where the
worn out and weary traveller looking for
empty houses and rooms, both Furnish
ed and unfurnished. can be aeeommo,,
dated at reasonable figures. Can and
see us at our old number List. your
houses and rooms with us. Morgan's Ex-
change. 10ll Third Avenue.
BARGAINS may be had in lodging
houses; we have them; they are not the
dingy. dirty places some will try and
convince you are snaps; we give you re-
liable information: we loan you money
to engage in business, and are, therefore,
careful to locate yeu profitably; our list
of rooming houses Is compiate; we have
places from six rooms TO sixty; also
some boarding houses doing first-elass
business; we have grocery stores, fruit
stands, cigar and confectionery stands,
dry goods and notion stores, restaur-
ants, that will bear the closest inspec-
ton; one in particular Is bargain. II
you have property or business for sale or
rent, list 1t with us; we will do the rest.
BEAVERS & CO.,
First avenue Rooms liz and 113 Wash
ington Building.
s., 500 for one of-tAe--Aest furnished lodg--
ing houses in the city: this Is g, bargain;
fine location; clearing over $40 monthly
$4,000 for banking and insurance bust
ness netting $10eoe yearly; brick build
ing; cost $4,000, and netting 10 per cent;
exceptional opportunity.
LELAND SPENCER & CO.,
Basement Post-Intelligeneer Building.
$40 o00--Grocery stock, or invoice.
$2,S00-Grocery stock, or invoice.
s3.oo0-Grocery stock, or invoice, y.
81 000-Grocery and bakery. close In,
81, observation-disclosures. will invoice.
s4,5pc-Confectionery; bear investigation.
$S.ooO-Business, to make money.
81 000--Restauraut, good location.
restaurant: this Is a snap.
MITCHELL & CONNER. 81 Sullivan Bdg.
ssoO-e-room house: elegantly furnished;
only been In use one month; everything
first-class; II months rent paid in adj
vance included; house full of roomers:
close in; north of Yesler
EDWARDS. Il Marion street.
Near Railroad avenue.
LADIES, Chichester's English Penny
royal Pills are the best; safe; reliable:
take take no Other ., send DC stamps for par
by return mail AT druggists. Chiches-
ter Chemical Co.. philadelphia. Pa.
FOR sALE-EIegantly furnished eight
room private residence, modern in every
particular and one Of the best snaps to-
day on the market two days only Nor
gans Exchange, 1011 Third avenue.
FARMS. forty to eighty acres, bottom
land In cultivation; four thousand dollars
improvements, price. three to four thou
sand dollars each. w. w. Beck. Hotel
Stevens, Seattle.
FOR SALE-Furnifure s rooms complete.
nice yard; close in; price $500: rent
cheap; In market for few days: snap;
investigate. Western Exchange, Dl New
Xork blacl<, sy2 80 Al IN
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27

FOR SALE-30x12e, one block from cor
ner Broadway and Columbia street; Just
what you have been waiting for; you
want a lot conveniently located, high and
healthy, but have not enough money to
pay for full lot; here is ground enough
to build on. where you can save car fare;
price, only S50a See us today.
w. d. FIELD. M Maa Estate.
G. A. VIRTUE. Loans.
81 and 80 Halter Bldg Phone. Main 653.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27

WANT ADS.

Advertsaensents undsR any
I nsaAsng n ea~ssineA oOlsnnsk
II = word eash tnssrtinns ,aaA- I
fuum charge, 25c. C1assthed
advertisements runnfnG one
month without change of copy,
$3.50 Der lane (seven words
eouat 90 lfne). ON tArss
rmonths' order. sl.56 per hns
! per snonths ON six months' or
dep, @l.2O DEF line pss nsnths
On yearly erdcrs q Per nns
psr nSnsA.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27
SOCIETY NOTICES.

ST. JOHNS LODGE, No. 9, II. e. A. NJ
Stated communication this Saturday
evening at 1870 o'clock. First degree All
Free Masons are cordially invited.
T.. q. ACk MAN, w. NJ.
NJ 3. PETERSON, Secretary.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27

FOR SALE-Improved bot, 20x120 feet,
near corner of Pike and Fourth avenue.
at present paying good interest on invest
ment.
HERBERT s. UPPER.
12-13 Scheuerman block.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27

FOR SALE-Two boilers, 1fty-four inch
es by sixteen feet; one 16x20 Chandler &
Taylor engine and all the machinery.
tools, etc. steel plates, angles, beams,
channels. ETC., etc, formerly belonging
TO the American Steel Barge Company
at Everett. Wash Fer further and full
particulars, apply to e. M. Patterson,
r. q. box 80 Everett, Wash,
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27
BUSINESS CHANCES.


AN EXCEPTIONAL BARGAIN.
n we'll furnished rooms on Yesier way;
two minutes walk from our office; rent
$50; price $3.50.
well furnished rooms on First avenue.
near Battery; only SIS per month; price
$3.50.
10 rooms, elegantly and completely iur-
nished: on Second avenue. near Pike
street. no better location in the city; rent
$45; price $500
rooms on Marion street. walking distance.
furniture very nice and nearly news cost
over $500; must be sold Immediately; want
5000; rent $40.
Two unusual bargains in larger houses;
north of Yesler way.
III. f. PARKER & CO.,
LIZ Yesler way.
Telephone, Blue COL.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27
---~ 4 ~
LEGAL a0TICGA

LEGAL AOTICEAA
SEALED PROPOSALS WILL az 49, -
reiyed at the office Of the lisnsas
board untii o'clock p. m, Fe sah,n9 Il =
naterfajs and labor of all kinds ~
sarx tor the construction and 0e1k
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27
PERSONAL.
EGGs-BUTTER EGGS.

EGGS-BUTTER-E EGGS.
All must give for the support of the hen
and the cow: how much depends on
where you buy your eggs and butter;
hearsay will not satisfy US; our eggs are
inspected and are what we sell them
for; butter. too. is as we advertise in
price and quality.
Butter, 80 cts a pound; 2 lbs for So cts;
good Iowa. creamery butter, 2 lbs, Go cts;
2 lbs Oregon creamery butter, 80 cts.
Eggs, strictly fresh. 20 cts a dog; fresh
Eastern eggs. Is cts doz.
Lard. 10-lb pals, SIS cts; 5-lb. As cts.
Our customers swear by us and not at US,
for they get what We advertise at prices
given, and We save them money every
day.
Trade at the Cow Butter Store. 1923 First
avenue.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27

SPECIAL NOTICES.
TO whom It may concern--After this 26th
day of January, 1900, Henry FL. Hender-
son il not connected With the Union Ad-
justment Company. said Union Adjust
ment Company will not be responsible
for debts contracted or other transactions
by said Henderson. Signed. Philip Bar
den, jr.. manager.
NOTICE-Neither the captain nor UNDER
signed agents of S. s. Elm Branch, of
Sunderland. will be responsible for any
debts contracted by any OF crew OF said
steamship
BARNEsoN & CHILCoTT. Inc.
Agents.
C. Tiff. Master of s. s. Elm Branch.
TO CONTRACTORS AND BUILDERS
The Kerry Lumber Cempany's mill at
the foot of Bfoad street. North Seat
tie. Is now In operation. Mill office, tele-
phone. Union Sc: downtown Office, room
@. Bailey building, over Western Union
Telegraph office, telephone. Maine 65a
COMPOSITION-We are now prepared to
do composition for the trade (any meas
ureA In Nonpareil. Minion, BREWER and
Long Primer. Satisfaction guaranteed.
Call or address est-IntelliGencsr. Sc
attic.
SPECIAL INFORMATION FURNISHED
manufacturers, business houses and
public men by the Press Clipping Bu-
reau (Allen'O. room u Mckay building,
Portland. Or
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27

The following letters await advertisers
ut tftis cffce.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-01-27

FOR sALE--EURNITuRE.
FURNITURE of a newly furnished mod
ern broom house; close in: house for
rent. 1612 Minor avenue, corner Pine.
FOR SALr-Furnfture Of s-room fiat; fiat
for rent. lis Denny way.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
Two of Nast's Faces.

William NJ. Tweed was a portly man
of medium size, with long, pendulous
nose, little pOrclne eyes, fat, dropping
cheeks and a straight, firm mouth that
was decidedly his best feature The
outlines of his face were those of a
Bartlett pear, little end upward, and /
never saw craft so palpably written
upon n human countenance. Mast
used to be fond of drawing Tweed's
face, by the way, as a sack of money.
The general contour of his head lent
itself to the outlines of the sack, and
he used S marks for the nose and eyes.
Strange to say, 1t was capital por-
trait.
Another of Nast's trick pictures was
one of Roscoe Conkling. He would
draw large letter V, with smaller V
inside it and surmount the pair with
an interrogation mark upside down.
The big V represented Conkling's point
ed beard, the smaller one his sharp
nose and the interrogation point the
Hyperion curl which he always allowed
to fall negligently upon his forehead.
That caricature made the naughty SEN
ator wild and exasperated him more
than any bit of fun that was ever poked
in his direction.-New Orleans Times
Democrat.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
A Story of Amos Cummings.

One summer number Of years ago
Amos Cummings passed two weeks
on a pilot boat and took Ernest Jar
rold, the author of mickey Finn
Idylls," with him for company. One
day a great storm arose, and the pilot
boat was tossed about on the waves
like a chip. Every minute wave
would dash over the deck and threaten
to carry everything away and swamp
the boat. Cummings and Jarrold Were
in the little cabin, the former lying
in a bunk intently reading a book on
the French revolution. Jarrold poked
his head out to look at the storm,
when mountain of sea water fell
with boom ON the deck and filled his
eyes with spray. The boat gave a
fearful lurch and careened until it
seemed that she must turn completely
over
This is awful, Amos" said Jarrold.
"'Fm going to put on life preserver,
for / don't think the boat can stand
it many minutes longer"
"Oh, keep quiet, and let me read
Mickey" said Cummings, never lifting
his eyes from the page. "The men
on this boat draw a regular salary to
keep her afloat. saturday Evening
Post
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
He Couldn't Solve II.

As train was approaching town
on the Great Northern railway in Ire
land an intelligent looking young Irish
man observed a lady standing up
searching her pocket. She commenced
to weep. Have you been robbedY'
he asked.
"Oh, no. she replied; '1've lost my
ticket, and they will accuse me of
fraud"
Seeing her distressed state of mind,
he said:
"Oh, don't mind. Here, take my tick
ct, and l win give the guard prob
lem," while their fellow passengers
awaited the scene at the station with
interest.
When the train stopped, the guard
collected all the tickets but one.
"Where is your tlcket?" he asked the
young man.
you have got my ticket" he replied.
''No, have not got it. I'll call the
station master and see about it."
"Where is your ticketT asked the
station master when he appeared.
''IIe has my ticket. See if he has a
ticket in his hand with a small piece
off the corner"
Eyes, you have, Dave. There it is"
''Well, see will that fit it?' said Pat,
handing him the small piece, and it
did. A look of surprise crept over the
guards face as he left the carriage,
while Pat caused much amusement by
exclaiming, "Begorra, knew he could
not solve itr'-London Tit-Bits.