The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-09-17
STAGE KISS.
It Had to Be Given Even at the Risk
of Bloodshed.

From the Chicago Record
1t was a home talent show and We
sat patiently waiting for the uneX-
pected to happen. The unexpected al
ways happens with home talent
show. and an inner mountain village
is not proof against this long accepted
stage fact. We strangers from the un-
regenerate east who were there in the
mountains for our healths' sake, felt
assured. therefore, of an experience
before the night should be over.
1t was The Mikado" which was 10
be presented, tattared and torn by its
transit from frst-class theaters in the
east to the town hall of Teton City.
We had heard Nanki-Poo as he had
sung about being a thing of shreds
and patches. and we had heard Ko-
Kos announcement Of his theories and
ideas, and were getting along fairly
we'll in our listening when the kissing
song was reached. Then Red Pete
Barker, who was singing Nanki-Poo,
advanced to the footlights.
Ladies and gentlemen the tenor
singer began. this is d mighty poor
place in the show to Interrupt the pro-
ceedings to make speech, but AZ GER
tain things are about TO happen. I
think IL is only fair that you be put
on. I have heard that Holy Moses
Perkins who is known and generally
hailed and greeted as the eventual
husband Of Miss Betty Hoyler, who Is
taking the part of Yum Yum. has an
nOunced to all concerned that if | fol-
lowed out the directions of the book of
this play and insist on kissing the
lady. there will be five different kinds
OF trouble. l hereby announce that I
am going to begin kissing the young
lady in about three minutes and shall
keep right on kissing her through the
whole blamed song, and ] further an
nounce that / shall do that kissing In
fun view of the audience. Moreover,
Il may be Of interest to you TO know
that ] have seCreted In these long and
flowing robes two tiTst-rate siX-shOot-
ers right ready for business | am also
armed with the fact that Holy Moses
Perkins is sitting in seat No. 167, which
is in plain view from the stage. As
the scene which is about TO be pre-
sented Is a cross between delicious
love song and homicide, and as I
shall caress the young woman with
the other on seat No l67, | hope you
will overlook any little shortcomings
in the affair. | hate 90 mention such
low. coarse things. but the gun which
| shall use first is self-cOcker and
has been recently oiled. Thanking you
for your kind attention the show will
now go on"
We listened to the rendition of the
kiSs-kiss song with great interest. es-
pecially those who We're in range OF
seat No. 167. Nothing happened. how
ever, Mr. Perkins remaining statue
esquely mute. But when the applause
continued on its demand for an en-
core. Mr.. Barker appeared once more
at the stage front;
THANK you" he said, for this vim
dicatlon. but If YOU want some more
| of II | am compelled to say you can't
have it. I respect Mr.. Perkins claims
on the premises. Thank you one and
all. and especially Mr.. Perkins. who
has this night sacrificed his feelings
for the advancement of art. The show
will now proceed
We then leaned back and listened
respectfully while Pooh Bah told about
his troubles and his expectations.