The Van Buren press., 1900-05-12

wen. y ups, ioui ihShSS'
But it was fish"
"Aw, fish" exclaimed the gas man.
"Tell fish story about fish four
inches long! Why couldn't you say
four feet? Say, you'd drive man
to drink wood alcohol. A fish story
about fish four inches long!"
This story amt about fish," said
The stereopticon man. ITS about
swimmin'!"
Jaw, g'wan!"
"Well, | don't mind sayin'," admit
ted the stereopticon man, that !
was pretty much s'prised myself at
ketchin' this fish, for l never was no
fisherman"
course you wasn't" said the gas
man. "You wasn't never nothin' but
cold bluff--a four-inch bluff"
81 never was no fisherman" contin-
ued the stereopticon man. "ln fact,
| hadn't never caught fish. So, you
bet, / was pretty chesty bout ketch-
in this one"
FOuT lHcHts' JDVu 'ho B"o "'""'
swell, he was fish," said the stere-
opticon man. "An' | guess a fish is a
fish if he amt on'y one inch long.
And, anyhow, ] was up on myself,
cause | got a fish hot off the bat,
when this here kid, what had been
6shin' all day, couldn't ketch none
SO | makes the kid put on q new
grasshoppcr, an ] gets ready to ketch
another.
"Well, as I says, was feelin' pretty
chesty, an up on myself, long of
ketchin' this fish, so | waves the lath
around my head and shouts; See
me get another"
"An' then, somehow, with the swing
of the lath | loses me balance an goes
hoofs over elbows, kerplunk! into the
Maumee river"
"Haw! haw! haw' haw! haw! haw!
wow-w-w-w!" roared the gas man,
"'rhat's great G'wanl"
"Well, sir, went in with n splash
like barl of salt droppin' into the
North river ! could feel the dirty
water runnin' into me mouth an ears,
an my heart went bang like cannon,
cause ! couldn't swim stroke. An
| guess the water looked 40 feet deep.
Well, Sir, for second ! didn't know
whether was alive or dead, an then
when | come to my senses found
myself hangin' to the side of the
scow. There was little square bit
of plank bolted onto the side-a
patch, / guess-an ] had caught 1t
with the fingers of both hands. Say,
wasn't that awfulY
"Why didn't you call the boyT'
asked the gas man, coldly.
"Say, what sort of n lobster are you,
anyway?" asked the stereopticon man,
little impatently. "Say, you must
be off your dot. What could that boy
do? He couldn't no more pull me
out than baby couldn't raise a spile
driver. But there was n little punt
chained close by an | shouts to the
kid:
"Boy, for the love Of heaven, git
into that punt and shove her over
saw. swim out says the boy, an
bring my fish line"
"Haw, haw, haw, hnw, haw, wow
w.w.w-w," screamed the gas man,
"rhat boy was peach"
A dangerous look crept into the
stereopticon mans eyes, but he went
on patiently;
81 can't swim, says |,
"'Then guess III lose my hshline,
says the boy. i cant swim, neither,
he says.
"'My boy, can't you see I'm drown
ing? | shouts. shove over the boat
and help me-
swell, the boy bundles into the boat
and shoves II over, but it's no use. She
don't come within six feet Of me-
~ thinks I'm dead 'un for fair,
an then sees pair of new suspend
ers on the kid an ! shouts:
"'Boy, for the love of heaven tie
them suspenders round my wrists an
make EN- fast TO the scoW'
"But the kid only looks mad, Say
he says, that's q pretty smoky notion,
Them's my new galluses!' "
"llaw. haw, haw, wow-w-w.w!
laughed the gas man, "W0sn't that Kid
smooth?" and the light In the stere-
opticon mans eyes grew deeper, but
he went on;
"'Then find a bit Of rope shouts
There's piece there an I'm cryin'
with fear,
'WhereY says the boy. ! showed
him where an old ropes end was hang
ing and he went TO get II. ! could feel
my hands growing weaker and let's
go groan.
"'Hurry, boy, hurry!' says ].
81 watches him cimbin' toward the
rope an then all of n sudden he stops
and looks ashore.
as some one comm? shouts,
"'Naw,' says the boy, It's the cows
got into the timothy
~ remembered seem the COW In the
timotny an nour Deiofe hn Wlsneu
I'd turned II out. But only shouted
to the boy.
"'Hurry with the rope, shouts, or
I'll drown
"'Guess you'll have to wait awhile,
he says. i've got to turn the COW
out'n the timothy
Oh, hang the timothy screams,
"'Thnt settles IT, says the boy,
That's dads timothy Now you swim
out.'
ale ran up to the bank an me callin'
and screOmin and begin him not to
let me die, an could hear the cows
bell janglin' as the boy chased her
away. Say, wasn't that awful?"
"llaw, haw, haw!" laughed the gas