The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1900-05-18
HunOR or THE DAY.

ms - no laughlhg matter, re-
marked the editor, as he handed back
the humorist's manuscript.
The One-"Yes, sir, he died owing
nobody" The Other-"What an un-
fortunate time to expire. Indian
apolis Pres,.
Mary-"Isn't a florists heavenly
kind Of business?" John-"Yes; but
there is a good deal Of earth about it. d."
Brooklyn Life.
Yes. hitch your wagon 10 a star
II you've Of mind 10 travel far;
But DO not get the chart all mixed
And hitch 10 one that's labeled "hxed
Chicago Record.
ri feel "a if / had wheels in
my headr' groaned the man. 'It
must be the truck you ate for din
ner," reioined his wife. Detroit Jour
ma.
When an old bachelor announces
that he has no one dependent on him,
he does it with an air as II he had
joke on somebody. Washington Dem
ocrat
Mother-"So you have made up
Win oOuuuy oOuo5' 'Ah -" NHN
out that you had misindged him?"
Bobby-"Yes'm; l thought | could
lick him. Pack.
at is better to laugh than to cry"
said the young aud innocent girl,
brightly. Not if you are trying to
manage a husband" said the woman.
indianapolis Journal.
Mr.. L. Conomy-"What DO you
mean by buying all these thinRs?"
Mrs. f. Conomy-"Don't get excited,
/ didn't buy them; / had them
charged. philadelphia Record.
Ida-"Belle said the man she mar
ries must have a fashionable name.
May-"The idea. And then engaged
herself to an Italianw Ida-"Yes;
but his name is Tony. Chicago
News.
Buggins-"Gre Scott! Listen to
the yelling next door. 1t sounds as
though murder was being committed. "
Muggins-"Oh, that's nothing. One
of those painless dentists moved in
last week, that's all. "
This paper" said Mrs. Enpeck,
"tells of man who actually forgot he
was married." Memory" retorted
Mr.. Enpeck, ''is a good thing, but
there are times when forgetfuIness is
better. -Harper's Bazaar.
"T've bought bulldog" said Par
sniff to his friend Lessup, "and /
want motto to put over his kennel
Can you think of something's" why
not use dentists notice-'Teeth in
serted here?'" suggested Lessup. -
Tit-Bits.
Gertrude-"Yes, Oily, pa is going
to bring an account against you. He
wants ten dollars for the wear OF the
sofa, and five dollars for the rent of
the parlor." Oliver-"How much
does he want for gas?' Gertrude
"Six cents"
Housekeeper don't believe You
ever did a stroke of work in your life. "
Tramp was six years IN one
place, mum" Housekeeper-'ln-
deed How did you~happen to
out. mumw-New York Weekly.
"A man with a billl' announced
the court chamberlain. The king
was visibly startled. ''He must be a
bird!' exclaimed his majesty, think
ing of the rigorous measures he had
taken to prevent creditors approach
ing the royal person. Detroit Jour
nal.
Hicks-"She threatened all sorts
of things, and finally he got desperate
aud exclaimed, DO your worst. "
Wicks-"And what did she do ?"
Hicks-"Very coolly, she began to
play the piano" Wicks -"I see;
she took him at his word. Boston
Tran script.
Sir" began young Timkins, as he
entered the presence of the dear girls
father, 81 want to marry your daugh-
ter" ooh, don't come to me with
your troubles" interrupted the old
gentleman. "She told me some time
ago that she intended to marry you,
so you'll have to settle it between
yourselves"