New-York tribune., 1900-09-18
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Near Hamlin Kan, the religious sect known as
the Holiness People" have painted Scripture texts
on barns and other buildings On bridge north
of Hamin they painted the following: Heaven
or hell-which do you choose?' Then a sign writer
came along and finished out the line with this In
scription: See Yost Hiawatha, for your coffins
and caskets."
Barnum-The Mismates are quarrelling thus early
Amburg-No wonder. They began by deceiving
Barnum~Deceiving one another?
gether ne pretended that he wasn't particular what
set before him. and she was always complain
finding fault with her cooking, and he declares
she is eating him into the poorhouse.-CBoston
Transcript.
The famous Massengale-Rice cow case of Chari-
ton County. Mo-, is again up. The sum originally
sued for was $50 but the accrued costs now reach
well along toward ST. 600 At a previous hearing of
this action before a Bynumvie justice of the
peace the lawyers had agreed to submit the case
without argument. His Honor would not so have
IT, however. He refused point blank to allow his
audience to be thus disappointed and insisted that
the ''pleadn' should go on, according to the
usual programme. And it did.
do you see that mani asked a lawyer. as q
he is tyrant. He is the terror Of timid lawyers.
Even his associates stand a little in awe of him,
who rules that man at home. who makes him
walk chalk, who cows him runs his daily life.
gives him orders?"
His wife; IL, ! 81 suppose"
Curious as TO the truth Of this remarkable state
learned 's it was Just The great Federal judge
under the thumb OF his R butler butte, and, what Is
Harbor recently a summer resort OF rich men
dId Fellows are in the Same fix Their buffers rule
them with rods OF iron. they dare not call their
souls their own.-(Chicago Ttmes-Herald.
."rhe westminster tuuger says that 1t was once
sna dc to taNra
church and leave them outside the pews TWO
shepherds at enmity sat on opposite sides Of the
aisle one Sunday Soon after the sermon began the
dogs-one a collie and the other not-seemed TO
enter into their masters quarrel One tender Of
the flock and then the other egged his animal
and each faithful dog obeyed his master. The
people at last craned their necks the pews
and when the dogs actually fought not few of
the congregation were standing up. The minister's
patience was ultimately exhausted and so he called
to his hearers and said, "Ah. weel. my brtherin
l see ye more interested in the dog fight than
in my sermon. and so I'll close the buike-and I'll
bet half crown on the collie!"
Rural Advantages.-City Man-Whew! Seems to
me It's about as hot in the country as Il is In the
Suburban Host1Y-e-s: but II you get overcome by
heat here and fall IN faint you in no danger
OF being dubbed by a poiiceman-(New- Y ork
Weekly
The attendance of the Catholic schools OF Chicago
has increased twenty thousand during the last
year.
William Jennings Bryan had stopped In his
travels to visit the Lone Star Mine, and, finding
a group Of men gathered about large piece OF
machinery he paused. turned his face In their
direction, and began his customary bid for votes
After declaring his great love for work and all
connected with II. ne said:
MY friends. you engaged IN the noblsst oc-
cupation known to man. When I a grand
piece of machinery like this It has wonderful
fascination FOR me l feel myself drawn into a
close sympathy with It's iabors; Il appeals 10 me
personally; 1t What is the matter?' he asked
In low tone OF n friend who was franticailv t,g-
gng his tails. 80
"C'ut her short, Colonel out ~ ba-a
the friend whispered hoarsely: ''tbat hisresa
thing Is the biggest wind pump ~ the whole state
81 Colorado. O."-(Philadelphia In rer. A'i''