The Delta independent., 1900-01-05
Ny Birthday Umbrella
An Amusing Sketch Showing the
<D.Rcul:y CT Working
Now Patent.


Like most people. l have only one
birthday year. Susan intended to eel
citrate the event by giving me n pres
ent. Susan is my wife. We had been
married u year. but fortune had not
smiled upon us. md We were terribly
hard mp. Consequently suxan's spend
ing capacity was limited.
She was going to buy me an umbrel-
In. The present was saved up for and
talked about \ good deal before the
auspicious day. We went to the shop
together to secure the gift.
Susan's idea of the amount to be ex-
pended = heaven bless her - was. !
think. about Sl.5O. The keeper Of the
umbrella shop looked panied and con-
cerned at the idea OF respectable Gus
toners daring to purchase one OF his
cheap ginghams.
He had a $3.50 article. now. . really
decent thing.
We saw II. The handle was very
plain. II did not please Susan so much
as that OF s. one produced simulta-
neously. There was no pushing to
open 1.-THE thing was q patent. There
was no fumbling in . shower Of rain
to open this umbrella. One had only to
release . little spring In the handle. and
the umbrella opened itself half way.
This last luxury completely won over
Susan The bargain was clinched.
We left the shop arm In arm. Susan
proud and joyous that she had been
able to make me such beautiful
Ht,.<h 10 t<.uF
than she had at first Intended.
On the way the elements. as II bent
on pleasing Susan. sent MS Q sharp
shower Of rain. Her eyes dilated with
pleasure and triumph n she produred
the umbrella.
Let me open it!' she cried vtvscious-
" - the raindrops came pattering
down. She touched the spring. and. ioi
the umbrella partly opened OF Its own
accord. How ingenious! To run II up
to the top Of the stick was the work Of
Q second. and We sheltered suuGly un-
der its ample canopy. side by side. arm
in arm.
The rain descended In torrents. We
had not Tar to 70. The district railway
station was only 100 yards ahead. Yet.
before we arrived there. the silk Of the
umbrella was soaked through and
through by the deluge. We were just
in time for q train. with half a minute
to spare. We did not trouble to shut
the umbrella down until well inside the
ticket ONCE
The thing would not shut. Susan de-
clared II was because ] did not under
stand the patent. She begged me to
leave II to her while got the tickets.
! squeezed my way to the ticket Office.
paid the fares and returned TO lind
Susan still struggling. We had not
moment to spare.
tackled the umbrella myself. edging
meanwhile toward the staircase. The
wretched thing would not 90 down. no
matter how ! coaxed Il.
Susan WAS now at the gate. advising
me to desist from my struggles In tire
Gnnxway. saying Il would he perfectly
easy to get the thing down on the plat
form. The train was ~ sfandstill. all
the passengers Ind Jumped In. inciud-
ing Susnn. who urged and encouraged
the to more frantic efforts. standing In
side the door Of . carriage. while ! re-
niained writhing upon the platform.
'Step In there! Step In there" cried
the guard.
! stepped In. still clinginx to the ban
die OF the open abomination. Susan
was purple with agitation. ! managed
by . dexterous n,aneuver to get the
handle Of the umbrella through the
window and shut the door. IeavIng the
open canopy SPREAD over the window.
prevented penetrating the dim interior
Of the carriage.
Here. say. put that umbrella
down. came = voice frorn the plat
form. A. " hadn't ircn trying to.
Was ] not trying st that very moment
with a11 my mighti
The door was wrencheti forcibly open
with . Jerk. which shot me out on to
the platform. Susan was compelled to
jump out after me. and there We were
on the platform. airrsdy iase icff b.
bind. with sh~ obnoxious thing wide
opea- dripping vet asd ot,~sinafe 10
evee. The trata saeam<vI cot Of the
station. @
The next one will b~ In - min
utes- cried Susan. hsn In sears. -You
can sirus the shice sow. surely: There
h plenfy of time. Dvat fuss And
poSr TED win he wahssx on the door.
aep h - pSurfng rsIn. with 10 80
- 1et hi0 on-~
evssythong wss ma shsss g jump
- - she esaesss1sa tnanG. - an
we 49, nsve - Dsave n h ~
eom6p1s0. 0ssrR." - esspa. Leave
4 ~ - 4 - Dss't beeah H. Tee
- osesh 4 es0ssvw," - s1RNsesA