The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-08-26
Fun Of the Word.

A Spanish magistrate. shocked BY the
extent of the food adulteration. issued
a proclamation. ahame with righteous
wrath, that All wines. groceries and
provisions which. upon analysis. are
proved TO be Injurious 70 health. VIII be
conlseated forthwith. and distributed 10
the different charitable institutions
e <
During a holiday ramble Sir Frederick
Leighton came across a little roadside
inn, the signboard OF which was being
somewhat coarSsly painted by q local
artist For some little time Sir Freder-
lex watched the progress OF the painting.
till the rural artist, CHANGING Down. re-
marked: 1t be a foine day. masthe-,'
Leighton assented, adding that a figure
on the signboard was out of p-oror-
ton. Where be Il out?'' asked the az
grieVed artist; I'm thinkin' yer've sum
mer wrong in yer soight.' IF you get
of that ladder, III put ii right for yOu,'
replied the r A. gooG-humoredly. ia.
boot an We paint?'' querisd the other
doubtfully. "Ye ken / dinna want my
work spilled" It's all right: I've done
a little painting in my time" answered
Leighton. as the other clanbered down
the ladder. Then, taking the pallet. he
climbed up and commenced 10 paint. and
did not desist until he had completed the
signboard. Ter, boot tha's nae so bad, -
was the rural artists comment. Art
is nae so paying now; still. il We Ike
10 do mair work for me. I'll sic We MAR
siller than I do as 4 rule Thanks. .
replied Sir Frederick. dryly. '1dy name
is Leighton" ''Verra pleased 20 ken
We. Mr.. Leighton" replied the man. ig-
norant of what the name meant. Ny
name is Tam"
EEs
Mr.. Huntington, in spite OF his naxlms
about doing the thing nearest al hand
and saving the pennies" realized that
ii is something necessary 10 have a
good deal of capital in order % attract
more. Speaking one day Of the oppor-
tunities still open for making fortune
he said: IF l were a young man with
500, COO, I would go TO the Congo Free
State and buy rubber Across the mount
aims YOU can get it crude for about one
cent pound. The natives will carry Il
over and down TO the coast on their
backs for a cent or two more freight
charges TO New York are not high, and
once landed you can usually sell out for
something ike a dollar Il pound II is
an adventurous business, but one that
would mean a million dollars in ten
years to a young man with energy
But. suppose" said a by-stander. you
had not the 100000
Then answered Mr. Huntington
ira start with $4,000 and take my
chances"
Every young man." persisted his com
panioR, cannot command 10000"
Well" continued the old gentleman,
"a young man in this day who hasn't
$4,000 had better stay at home tn he
gets it,
z q
Joseph Jefferson relates in Success"
that by far the funniest experience OF
his road life was furnished by the late
W. J. Florence, with whom Mr.. jefferson
was starring the New England circuit
of one-night stands. Mr.. Florence loved
TO be called out TO make a speech be-
fore the curtain. One night in a Con-
necticut city he was called out and
said:
Ladies and Gentlemen: It is to you
that 1 owe all the success I have attain
ed in my profession. 1t was the early
uragement that received here that
prompted me to go on with my profess
sional work. 1 was here a boy; / know
you all; l recognize you all; we knew
each other, and I can never forget the
kindness that has been showered upon
me by the people Of Hartford.
A man in the audience shouted: "Tnis
IS New Haven, Mr.. Florence"
1T thus behooves an actor" said Mr.
Jefferson, in telling the story, mot only
TO be prepared in his speech, but pretty
well satisfied in what place he is act
ing"
Ea HH
Edison is fond of smoking. but he be-
comes so absorbed In work that he even
forgets that he has a cigar In his mouth
When he had an Office in Fifth avenue.
New York, the desk in which he kept a
box of cigars was always open. and as
the boys came and went at all hours
his cigars disappeared with mysterious
rapidity. Finally he asked a friend vino
was in the tobacco business II he could
not do something to discourage this d s.
appearance. Why, yes said the
friend, TN make up soma cigars for
you. I'll put Hoffman House labels on
the outside and ill them with horse
hair and hard rubber
Well" said Mr. Edison, in relating
the story, that fellow went TO Calfor-
MIA, and didn't return for three months
7 forgot about him in the meantime. but
when he got back I said to him: Look
here, I thought you We're going 10 TX
me up some fake cigars Why, 7 did >
Why, don't you remember fat box
with green label: the cigars In bundle
form, tied with yellow riobon?' Do you
know" said Edison. innocentIy. 7
smoked them all myselfP'
II z 8E
A Cincinnati travelling man tellsAof
hotel experience in the interior of Ar
kansas. He had arrived at a small set
tlement, and repaired TO the Eagle
House, which was situated on the OUT
skirts Of the town and on the bank Of
a stream.
After a dinner OF side-meat and corn
bread ne lighted a cigar, and the propri-
etor said:
Stranger. IS thar anything we uns kin
DO foh you-all2'
Thinking 10 confound his host. the
stranger answered:
wal. yes. come 70 think Of u, ia
IKE 70 have 3 bath"
The proprietor Jet his feet drop from
the railing upon which Re had a1lsiei
them. went into the house and returned
in a moment with g huge tin cup ful Of
soft soap. q rough towel. and pick
and shovel, which he offered q his
guest
what's The pick and shovel for7' AK
Cd the travelling man
We'll stranger" answered tas Lard
lord. "th' watuh's Iyy ard yo9-zi II
hev to dam ID the creek"
Nile Yvette GUiibert. IN ths heyfaT %
her American. success. Yves in spleuf.1
-, riis. n crossing a certain district ~
Sunday she vas unable 60 get = b1tfe
d ciaret
"rf give g % To1. rns1ane.~ Eaft re
water, 7 nan have - e - fzi4"
Then. x" sa&d Nile Ggiit,art faeer-
fully. 'fh1t First get M ny sisrst"
one afternoon 81 C1icaTa tvo aiEok
cards we're sent 40 - r = - eaters e.