davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
As Advertised.

"You know Weightman, the big, stout
clerk at our store?"
Eyes. He must weigh over 300"
"Well, he saw an advertisement in the
paper, Fat folks reduced-$l,' and an.
swered it,"
Didn't he hear from them?"
"Oh, yes. 1t vas just as advertised. -
"That's good. How much has he been
reduced?"
"Why, $1."-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
Cuts ana Bruises QuicklyOKsalsd.

Chamberlain's Pain Balm applied to q
cut, bruise, burn, scald Of like injury
will instantly allay the pain and will
heal the parts in less time than any
other treatment. Unless the injury is
very severe, 1t will not leave q scar.
Pain Balm also cures rheumatism.
sprains, swellings and lameness. For
sale by A, G, Ireland.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
Generally the Case.

Generally the Case.
OLittle Elmer-Para, what lis a pessi'
mist?
Professor Broadhead-A pessimist,
my son, Is q man who doesn't care what
happens SO long as 1t doesn't happen to
him.-Puck.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
Brides.

The bride who giggles during the
ceremony sometimes makes as good an
all-round wife as the bride who looks like
a sad, sweet flower being plucked from
parent stem.-DetrOit Journal.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
NOT Uniuue.

He-Crowded, were you? Thought
you went early to avoid the rush.
She-So I did; but about 5000 other
people did the same thing.-Brooklyn
Life.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
They Agreed.

Little Girl-Papa, it's raining.
Papa (whose temper Is somewhat ruff
fed)-Well, let it rain.
Little Girl (timidly)-I was going to,
papa.-New York World.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05

Census MAn-Who il the head of this
familyf
Hen Psck-Mrs. Peek ID, on the
cooks day oH.-Baltimore American.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
A DereEct.

"When I get in deep water, sir" said
the fiery campaign speaker in reply to
an interruption, when l get into water
too deep too wade, I'll swim"
"Another political f%loater," bawled out
the mean man who is always putting in.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
Vocal ChimM.

l suppose that Colonel Brassy, as
usual, used ringing words in his speech
last night.
Yes, they were SO ringing that nearly
ali the crowd took them for . curfew
signal and left for home.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
TO the Juyenile Mind.

"Paw," said Tommy, "Idon't see why
they call it a Turkish bath"
why not?"
Because all the Turks I've ever seen
looked as if they never took q bath at
au."-Chicago Tribune.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05

1t will surprise you to experience the
and famous little pills Known as De-
Wits Little Early Risers. Ireland's
Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05

II am very much surprised to hear
that they are married. I thought he
was merely flirting with her"
"He thought SO too" - Golfers
Weekly.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05

You will never find any other pills 10
prompt and 10 pleasant n DeWitt's
Little Early Risers. Ireland's Fhar-
macy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
A Southern View.

Some men who grumble because they
don't get what they want would vel
with dismay If they got what they d.
sorved.-Florida Times-Union and Citi.
zen,
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
Obligipg.

Mrs. Youngwife-I want five pounds
Of sugar, please.
Dealer-Yeh ma'am; shall I send, it
for you?
mo, I'll take it with me If it isn't too
heavy"
It'll make it as light as possible for
you, Observation-Disclosures Press.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
AcKER'S DYSPEPSIA TABLETS ARE
SOLD ON A

Positive guarantee. Cures heartburn.
raising of the food, distress after eat
ing or any form Of dyspepsia. One lit
tie tablet gives immediate relief. rs
cts. and so cts.
For sale at Fischer's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
e at Fischer's drug store.
Neplecting No Precautions

what did the fortune teller say was
in store for you?"
"She said l was threatened with a
considerable loss of flesh"
"Well, what did you do?"
81 took to drinking two quarts of milk
a day and double locking my smoke
house every night."-Chicago Tribune.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05

With Malice A10F01h0u9ht.
Phebe-What makes you think you
can break the will?
Brief-What makes me think so?
Why, I drew it uptown Topics.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05

When you want a modern. up-to-date
physic try Chamberlain's Stomach and
Liver Tablets. They are easy to take
ard pleasant in effect. Price, Is cents.
Samples free at Ireland's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05

The quicker you stop q cough or cold
the less danger there will be Of fatal
lung troubles. One Minute Cough Cure
10 the only harmless remedy that gives
immediate results. You will Ike 1t.
Ireland's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
AcKER'S ENGLISH REMEDY WILL STOP
C0IlCu

At any time, and will cur the worst
Geld in twelve hours, or money refund
ed. rs cts. and so cts.
For sale at Fischer's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
At the Seaside Hotel.

Henry, aren't you going to order oat-
meal?"
"No, ma'am-no, stree! I'm out to
eujoy myself. indianapolis Journal.
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy a Great
Favorite.
The soothing and healing properties
of this remedy, Its pleasant taste and
prompt and permanent cures have
made it a great favorite with people
everywhere. 1t Is especially priced by
mothers Of small children for colds,
Group and whooping cough, as it always
affords quick relief. and as it contains
no opium or other harmful drug, it may
be given as confidently to q baby as to
an adult. For sale by A. c. Ireland.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
A Disuuietine ThOu9ht.

The bird sits moping on the bough,
And takes 1t rather Ill
That he. forsooth. IL killed to dress
The girl that dressed to kill.
detroit Journal,
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
Investigation Proved It.

"When I put my foot down, I'll have
you to understand" says Mrs. Nojoker,
that there's something there"
On investigation it was found to- be
4 No. II shoe.-Tit-Bi
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
No Opportunity to Learn.

They say that money talks.
Perhaps 1t does. l never had any In
my possession long enough to catch the
lingo.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05

Mummy, is that indelible ink that
daddy's got in his studio?"
mo. Why?"
Because I've split it all over the
carpet!"-Ally Sloper.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05

Isrmer-There's q fine fat pig for
sale here. Can / see it?
Boy calling out-Fa-a-ther, some-un
wants 70 see yer.-Tft-Bits.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
QUARTER I.Y

r LIZ REPOEcI
Of the Auditor of Public Accounts Of the Territory of New Mexico Giving a
Detailed Statement of the Receipts and Expenditures During the
Third Quarter of the 5lst Fiscal Year. Ending Sept.
$1,000.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05
A Sure Thing.

II hear that you have made a very in
teresting election wager"
"Yes, he bet me his daughter on the
result, but I'll be safe whichever way it
goes, because, you see, I'm the n that
holds the stakes"
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05

Mothers indorse 1t, children like 1t,
old folks use it. We refer to One Min
ute Cough Cure. It will quickly cure all
throat and lung troubles. Ireland's
Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-09-05

1 certify the foregoing statement to be true and correct.
j. II. VAUGHN,
Territorial Treasurer.
Santa Fe, N. M, Sep. 8, 1900.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-03-10
DIR. BORNE'S INFLUENZA CURE.
A French Physician Gives the World
the Benefit of Careful and Sue
cessful Experiment..

London, March 6.--Af1er having
nearly recovered from it's usual epi-
demic of influenza, London receives
from Paris n safe cure for the COM
plant. The discoverer is DR.. Borne,
deputy for Doubs, who cured NJ. Wal
deck-Roussean in three days, and was
also successful with President LOubet,
brother deputies.
DIR. Borne's remedy is as follows: As
soon as one feels the influenza one
should have the two following pre-
scriptions made up: Firstly, chloro-
form water, 2 ounces; water, 2 ounces
magnesia, 2 drachms; salol, is grains;
bctol, Is grains; antifebrin, IS grains;
sirup Of orange flowers. l ounce. This
must be well shaken and a tablespoon
full taken every fifteen Or twenty Min
utes during the first day. On the fol-
lowing days one should take W. each
cts on rising in the morning and two
on going to bed at night, composed as
follows: Magnesia, 2A drachms; be-
tol. IS grains; salol, IS grains; tcrpine,
As grains, for twenty cachets.
DIR. Borne says his principle is that
all the digestive and respiratory tubes
should be disinfected. He had expert
mented with all the ~antiseptice capa-
BILE of combination, and had eventually
arrived at the kinds and doses given
in the prescriptions. OF course, the
doses were modified according to the
age and condition of the patient.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-03-10
RETURNED FROM THE WARS.
Gen. and Daughter Among
the Passengers of the Warren
from Manila.

San Francisco, March 6.-The United
States transport Warren, arrived
Monday from Manila, via Hong Kong,
Guam and Honolulu.
On board the Warren II Gen.
Wheeler and his daughter; Lieutenant.
Commander Briggs, U. S. n, Capt.
johnson, U. S. ", and several passen-
gers, including William Bengough, the
artist for Harper's Weekly.
The Warren made a stop of ten days
at Guam to permit Gen. Wheeler to
make an investigation of the govern
ment established there by Capt. Leary.
The Warren brings the news from
Honolulu that of the three suspected
cases of plague reported on February
20. but n proved to be genuine
plague, and when the Warren left
Honolulu. the authorities were of the
opinion that the plague had about died
out, Though every precaution was be.
ing taken to confine any fresh out.
breaks.
The Warren was ordered to quaran-
tine.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-03-10
4 COUPLING PIN BROKE.
Serious Wreck on the Illinois Cen.
trail Railroad a Few Miles
Out of Chicago.
TWENTY MEN MORE OR LESS INJURED.
The Victims Mostly Stock Men; and
Two of Them Probably Fatally
Hurt-Train Broke in Two on an
Up Grade-Detached End Collided
with Second Section.

Chicago, March 6.-Twenty stock
men and railroad employees were in
pured, two probably fatally, in a co.,
lision between two Illinois Central
freight trains near Broadview, a few
miles out of Chicago.
The Injured.
Joseph Hobbs, Marcus, Ia; may
die.
Frank Mccall, brakeman, F~reepcrt,
ILL.,; may die.
E. Z. Farwell, Manchester, la.
j. b. COUNSEL, Dyersville, Ia; left
thigh fractured.
Edward Yaeger, Primghar, Ia; scalp
wounds and fracture of left arm.
Charles Peters, Matlock, Ia; head
cut, arms and legs bruised.
II. b. Emerson, Manchester, Ia;
scalp wounds and right hand broken.
j. j. Collins, conductor; face and
head cut.
j. A. Clark, Elmhurst, ILL.,; nose
broken and head severely cut.
j. H. Dunno, Marcus. Ia; left shout
der and knee d~islocated.
w. r. Spear. brakeman, Dubuque;
ankle broken and head cut
Joseph Bernard, Anton, Ia; right
wrist broken and scalp wounds.
S. M. Wixcell, scalp wounds and
both legs bruised.
H. o. Booth, Sioux Falls, S. D.; left
foot fractured and head cut.
Peter j. Baadte, Matlock, Ia; both
feet broken and head and back
bruised.
G. P. Slater, Sioux Falls, S. D.:
hands and feet cut.
J. W. Bryant, Cleghorn, Ia; left leg
cut and right arm broken.
w. E. Brazell, Otto, Ia; bruised
about head and body.
Thomas Mcmahon, Quinby, Ia:
three ribs of left side broken.
E. A. Wilkinson, Quinby, Ia; RICH:
hip dislocated and chest and back
bruised.
Broken Coupler Caused 1t.
The two trains had been running
about u mile apart. While climbing a
long grade a coupling pin in the mid
die of the head train broke. The cars
of the broken section Immediately
started down the back grade and it
was soon entirely beyond control. 1t
struck in the engine of the oncoming
freight train with a terrific crash.
Both trains were on the way to Chica-
go from western Iowa, and were made
up mostly of loaded stock cars, with a
caboose and passenger coach for the
Stockmen.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-03-10
A BAD RAILROAD ACCIDENT.
Two Killed md Over Forty Injured,
of whom Many Will Die
Saved from Cremation.

Brazil, Ind, March IA miners
train, carrying 400 workmen, employed
at the mines north of here, to their
homes in this city. was run into by a
local freight train on the Chicago &
Eastern Indiana railroad at six o'clock
Monday evening, and the caboosc and
two cars were smashed to splinters.
Melvin Easter and Charles Crompey
were instantly killed, and more than
forty persons were severely wounded.
Among those seriously injured, many
of whom will die, are:
Thomas Bsrrowman, both legs
broken.
Will Dodwell. injured internally.
William Lumsdom, arm broken and
injured in chest.
Samuel Lynch, internal injuries.
John Dickson, back broken.
Thomas Davis, both arms broken.
John Little, arm broken.
William Vesper, internal injuries.
The railroad company at once sent
a special train and brought the wound
ed to the city. All the vehicles obtain
able at the livery stables and from
private families were secured to take
the n,en to their respective homes.
When the train arrived the wounded
were placed in the waiting of the
depot and cared for by employees of
the company until conveyances could
be secured to take them home.
EngineerW William Mcintosh and Fire
nan Ed. Sheehan, on the freight train.
were injured by jumping when they
observed the impeding danger. The
engine was disabled and overturned.
Hundreds of women gathered at the
depot and grasped their manned and
bleeding husbands and brothers in
their arms when they were carried
from the train.
The wreckage caught fire by an over
turned stove, and the men who were
rescuing the wounded were forced to
turn their attention to the fire to pre-
vent those pinioned in the wreck from
being crematcd.
Passengers Were Asleep.
All the passengers were asleep in
the day coach, and the first intimation
the occupants of the caboose and
coach had of their danger was when
they were thrown violently from their
cots to the floor of the car The ca
boose ~telescoped the coach, pinning a
number of the unfortunate passen-
gers in the debris. Fire broke out al
most Immediately and for a time many
of the injured were in great danger of
roasting alive, but, by hard work en-
the part of !he uninjured passengers
and the train crews, ali were removed
In safety.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-03-10
GENERAL BATES EXPEDITION.
Engages the Rebels with Cold Steel
and Clears Out Southern
Luxon.

Manila, March 5, 4:45 p. m.-Gen.
Bates expedition to southern Euzon,
consisting OF the Fertieth and Forty.
fifth .regiments,'a total of $500 men,
has occupied Nueva Cacercs, province
of South Camarines; .Daet. province OF
North C~amarines, and the neiShborins
smaller towns. The enemy resisted at
one point. and two Americans were
killed, including Lieut.. John B. Gale
her, OF the Fortieth regiment.
On February 20. the expedition ar.
rived at San Miguel bay, landed, and
in three columns immediately pushed
inland, converging upon Nuera, Ca
ceres, and attempting to control the
enemy's routes of retreat.
At Lithuanian, north of Nueva Ca
ceres, the enemy was concealed in a
rice field, and resisted a battalion of
the Fortieth regiment which engaged
them at close quarters with bayonets.
After 10 minutes fighting the enemy
fled, and Lithuanian was occupied
The Americans buried 81 of the enc
my. whose total loss in killed and
wounded is estimated at 14O.
From Lithuanian the expedition pro-
cee5ed' to Neuva Caceres, the gunbcat
Paraguay arriving ten minutes ahead
of the troops. The town was found
practically deserted. The Americans,
daily scouting in the vicinity, report
that the enemy have retreated into the
mountains.
The insurgents around Legaspi and
Albay, province of South Camarines,
are harrassing the Americans nightly.
Foreigners doing business at Legaspi
are living on ships in the harbor or in
the American barracks.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-03-10
THE LAYTON FUND CLOSED.
Nearly One Hundred Thousand Dol.
lars and all Letters Received
Turned Over to the Widow.

Washington. March IAN interest
ing scene occurred at the Riggs na-
tional bank. Tuesday. when the fund
raised by a grateful people in recog-
milton of the services of the late Maj
Gen. Lawton was formally transferred
to his widow. The parties to the
transaction were Mrs. Henry C.. Law
ton, Adjt.-Gen. Corbin. Acting Com
nissioner-General Weston and Mr.. L.
c. Clover, the last-named representing
the bank.
Gen. Corhin, as treasurer of the fund,
drew Il creek for SOS, 1910 in favor of
Mary c. Lawton, and saw that it was
transferred to her credit on the books
of the bank. Al the same time his
act as treasurer CT the fund was
closed. Gen. Corbin said he did not
care for a receipt for the funds, but
Mrs. Lawton insisted on giving him
one.
In addition 10 the money the con-
mittee also turned over to Mrs. Law
ton all the letters received from sub
scribers to the fund, many of which
contained beautiful tributes to the
memory of her late lamented husband.
On his return 10 his office, Gen. Cor
bin received q check fer SIS from Mr..
James c. Carter, which the sender
asked to have added to the Lawtonf fund,
explaining that he would have sent
it earlier, but he had been out of the
country. 1t will make the total fund
SgS, 432 81.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-03-10
Blood HumOrs
Are Cured ky
Hoods


~ always take
Hoods S~arsaparilla in
the Spring and it y
the best blood purifier
/ know Of" Miss
PEARLEG GRIFFIN, Bald
win, Mich.
"Eruptions that
came on my face have
all disappeared since1
began taking Hoods
S~arsaparilla. It cured
my father of catarrh."
ALPHA HAMILTON,
Bloomington, Ind
'sI had scrofula sores
all over my back and
face. ] began taking
Hoods ~Sarsaparilla
and in q few weeks I
could not see any sign
OF the sores" OTHo B.
MooRE, Mount Hope
Wis.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-03-10
HoN,n THAI

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any ease of Catarrh hat cannot be cured
by Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. ]. Cheney & Co., Props, Toledo, O..
We, the undersigned, have known Ed.
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in all business transae-
tions and financially able TO carry out any.
obligations made by their firm.
West & Truax, Wholesale D~ruggists,r To
Waldins, Kinnan L Marvin. Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo, o. -: tes :
Halls Catarrh Cure il taken i~nterpallxs
acting directly upon the blood and'naeoua
surfaces vol. the SYSTEM; Price 75c:per bot
tie, Sold by all Druggiss.. TESTIMONIALS:
tree.
Halls Family Pills ire,the best. e:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-03-10
Puerto Rican. JubfIsnt.

San Juan, Puerto Rico, March g.
Puerto Bicans are jubilant over the
news of the passage Of the bill return
ing Puerto Rican duties. The people
generally are satisfied and approve the
Is per cent. measures. They are fever
ishly awaiting the action of the sen
,to
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-03-10
READY TO MEET THE YAOUIS.
United States Troops VIII Meet
Yaqui Indians II They Attempt
to Cross From Mexico

San Francisco, March Ga report
from Benson, Ariz., says:
Rumors have reached here hat a
lager body OF Yaqui Indians are head
ed for the international line. Orders
have been issued by Gen. Merriam, the
commanding officer at Fort Huachua-
ca, to hold troops in readiness for i'm
mediate field service to be used to re.
pei any attempt TO cross the line into
the United States.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-03-10
THE "PLANET MERCURY"
Indications that 1t Has Struck the
Earth and been Wrecked on
West Pubnico, n. s.

Halifax. N. S., March Ga French
nan at West Pubnico, near Yarmouth,
reports that he picked up a life pre-
server on the shore with the name
"Planet Mercury" on it.
The steamer Wanda, on Saturday,
picked up a life raft and a sailors
chest. Several life preservers and a
steamers hatch were picked mp by
South Shore fishermen.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-03-10

Gen. Gatacre viii mt Once Repair
the Railroad Lines.
London, March THE war Office
has received the following dispatch
from Lord Roberts:
"Osfontein. March 6.-Gen. Gatacre
occupied Stormberg yesterday. The
lines of railway north and west will
now be repaired. Gen. Clements is at
Joubert's siding station. beyond Coles
berg. The duke of Marlborough, with
the Oxford company of the Imperial
yeomanry, has left Cape Town for
Naauwpoort.