The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-06-24
1T Is NICE TO BE WOLCOTT.
Ey.TANK NO n THE VICTIM o.
A MISTAKE IN CHICAGO.

-Ous nkewarm summer morning about
ten years ago, without the rebate, l got into
Chicago from Cincinnati on the Big -Four, oil
out and wabbling on the wire. remarked
Ex-Tank No. II OF the Harlem Club OF Former
Alcoholic Degenerates Il had only batted
EN- a little In Cincinnati, and Cincinnati hadn't
turned the left cheek to me after ] landed a
short, easy one on her right. In fact. when /
got pocketed there and no chance to pun up
and 90 around the field, Cincinnati tried to give
me the Farthest North gaze, and ] didn't feel
like standing for that not from any Class 7,
minor league town like Cincinnati. anyhow, /
didn't. SO I hunted for the first sack. which
was Chicago. Thai sprint was my distance.
anyhow, for when ] shook myself up after
getting into Chicago the subdusd tintinnibu-
lstion in my change pocket only announced
me 50 cents to the right, and the coffee and
rolls still unbought.
a combination Of grewsome circumstances
had rendered 4, nccessary for me TO leave my
trunk and p%ortmanteau behind in Cincinnati.
when | stepped of the train In Chicago, how
ever. | had more or loss Of a ready-mohey
look, wherefore / surveyed myself with some
grimness. Fifty-eight cents, hey' and a light
Scotch tweed suit on that'd cost me $40. q ma
room fancy wastcoat, q made-to-order straw
bonnet, and a pair Of toothpick patent leather
skates that had macsrated a ffteen-dollar
note to pulp-and 80 cents to make good
for all that makeup! Ha! ha! said
l to myself, In . real sepulchral way.
thinking about the idiocy Of it all, and
then / lavlshed Is cents on a 'isky sour. another
is on a shave and a brush-on, and sanntered
over TO the Auditorium Hotel TO sit down for a
while and begin a-guessing. ! pulled a leather
chair up before one of the biz rotunda win
dows. swished at my toothpick kicks with my
cane which I brought from Cincinnati from
force Of habit - and looked out over the peliucid
waters Of Lake Michigan that is, when an
Illinois Central train wasn't breaking the focus.
/ was sore laden. and that's no ancient mari
ner's phantasy. I felt like sixteen splits TO the
box and all bets coppered.
This. said ! to myself. is where ] am
turned the wrong way Of the post, and no show
to overtake the bunch. This is where the
flags caught me natfooted. l have arrived at
the point where I'm going to be set down AID
have a permanent mount on the ground for
incompetency. This IL the real. dyed-in-the-
wool, own-in-the-bott -
well. Senator. when did you make porte
some one said al my lett elbow.
The young man had an easy manner, and
he had already drawn up "a char. lie was a
nice. clean-looking young fellow,
" Just al hour or SO ago. said j, You've
a shrewd eye. son, for recognizing people
"'Oh, ! don't know, Senator sad he. 1
think we had the best cut Of you this morn
ing What do you think OF ~
He spread out the morning paper that he
had in his hand 50 as to show mp the first page,
and lie pointed to a large column cut OF Cnlted
statss Senator " oicott OF Colorado, The cut
tuaa NM I'D in tIa utIllla nj "A pnlnInn lpEIuIih
from New York. telling how Senator I'D vol
colt had soaked one % the Long Branch faro
banks to the tune OF s2S, 900 a few nights before,
and how on the next night he had sloughed
that back 10 the bank aud So, 100 more. The
despatch wound up by stating that Senator
Mulcott was on hs way back To Denver by
way vi Chicago.
Yes. that's a pretty fair cut said !, hand
ing the paper back TO the nice. cIean-looking
They've all go, pretty good cuts OF you
Now. senator. would YOU mind telling us all
about ~ You sure must have raped EN-
pretty hard that frs, night you fumbied with
the tiger, eh? | know rs a matter a gentle
man OF your position wouldn't naturally care
10 discuss very amply, bn, Colorado's pretty
tar on the other slde OF the bg river, md a
and conditions are different, can divert him
sell | suppose, differently rom
My boy. said !. let US converse on other
matters, | am not a believer in post NOR
tens
what for should ] have told the lad that he
was mixed; The cut did, Tor u fact. look a
SO sore % the game, anyhow, that IL wasn't
bothering me whether | lost my identity or
not.
The young man was on his way back to his
along Michigan avenue, and he walked along
with me, Passing the. Hotel RlChelieu the
young man nodded at n little man with a : Wine
mustache who was standing at the entrance.
and Than he turned Ia me- and Salu
u you know Cardinal Bemis, who runs
the Rlchelleuy
Il told him nay.
let me introduce you to him. then. said
the young man, and the next minute United
States Senator Ed. Wolcott. not, was shaking
hands with the little man with the white mus
tache.
II was just about to sit down to a bite of
breakfast, Senator, said Cardinal" Benlis.
Won't you ion FeIy, .,o, -
huge anxiety in the matter. l told him | had
breakiasted. In fact; tor 1t was then ~ noon.
whsreas Ia stopped short at the isky, sour for
aud told him that | didn't mind.
Put him right What Tor? thought, ss
| sat down at his privats table which his own
private waiter lmmedlatel, began 70 umber
right after break asst and may be, again. |
wouldn't; More9yer' figured that ! was help
No lldn't be identified, and they'd let him alone;
! calculated II that way,
There was II break tast with quartz on the
sidel 1 told my host tat tho attractiycness OF
his breakfast was a ttlmulus To an already
partly appraised appetite but for all that. |
fancy the LITTLE man with the white mustache
must have thought TO hlmsel, that | was a
their noon breakfasts ont in Chicago. | only
dawdled with u quart. Porhaps IL didn't reach
the place where Il belonged
81 think said ! ~ IN self. at tho conclusion
Of the breakfast, that | will now laugh gay ly,
clap th'j kindly little man with the white mus
tache resoundingly on the back. emit a little
%prelImiIa.y S AIRY P pc lima n ,el b.a him MI, What a
ferrous msrriment, inform him that IN no moro
Senator Ed Wolcott than I'm Apache Kid or
the koen!g Of the solomon Islands
What for? Wasn't | helping Woicott2 And
| remembered an o~ccasion. TOO, when hadn't
got an evea break at the hands OF Chicago,
not Wolcott. as well as any body else? For q
littl, brief time the tide was being shovelled
my way II was all ny TO the mixed ones,
s6SyhowI f.. ana su It wasn't up to me- Why
mine, n that Just because he was WolcOtt?
so, unsuccessfully endeavoring to suppress
another made-to-order yawp, ! pushed my
from the box on the table, and. with appropriate
remarks, passed out,
Not going to assault the tiger here, ehP'
said the little man with the white mustache.
wlnlSing slyly. a. ! passed out, but | vOuchSafed
the head
colt, man must have. ~ hs Journeys through
HE! thought, a. walked along. | liked
being Wolcott.
and H. ! swung along ! noticed a lot OF men
turning around and looking me over, Il lad
happened about right for me that Moloott's
picture was In nearly every newspaper in Chi
cago that morning. On top Of all the other
good things OF life that the Lady Fortune had
bestowed, upon Wolcott. how fortunate 1t was