davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-10-20
THE PROFESSORS ESCAPED BACTERIA.

He was apparently an old man, wore
large glasses and carried small satch-
ell. Across the satchel was labeled:
Prof. Redd, Chicago" He entered the
waiting room Of suburban station and
deposited the satchel carelessly near
the water cooler. Suddenly those near
saw the satchel fall and heard the
sharp tinkle of breaking glass. The
old man picked up the glass and NUT
tered exclamations Of distress.
ITO think that I brought them all
the way from Brazil" he said.
What were they?" inquired some
one in the sympathetic crowd.
"Germs!"
"What?"
Bacteria of a strange Brazilian fe-
ver."
"Quick man; crush them with your
foot"
"I can't sir. They are floating
around in the air."
There was a moment of horror. Then
there came a rush and little later the
old man was the only occupant of the
waiting room. A window was raised
from the outside.
Just let them out easy, Pete" eau
toned a voice.
And the bogus professor obeyed.
Satchels, grips and cases went through
the window. After he had finished COL
lecting, the professor followed the
booty. His false beard fell back in the
room; but he did not attempt to re-
claim it. The arrival Of their train
prompted those outside to venture IN
for their baggage. 1t had vanished and
the black beard told the tale.-Chicago
Daily News.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-10-20
The Aorkrilte Gnqairet.
Published Wednesday and Saturday

PUBLISHER
L. NJ. GRIST, W. D. GRIST, 0. E. GRlST.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-10-20

Does it keep the correct time? Or do
you have to set 1t every twenty -four
with It? Bring 1t to me and let me put it
in correct.time- keeping order. 1t may be
dirty and need cleaning. It may have a
cog broken. 1t may have screw loose,
or 1t may only need regulating. Bring 1t
to me and no matter what ails 1t, can
put it in first-class condition. My charges
are very moderate and the work will be
done promptly. also repair Jewelry
and Clocks.
For anything in my line see me. I can
and do meet all competition. See my line
of Spectacles and Eyeglasses. I can suit
anyone with Glasses or Frames.
THOS. w. SPECk,
JEWELER AND OPTicIAN.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-10-20

sg "How's things up in Thompson
ville?" asked one colored man of an
other he met on the road. "Dey's Vot-
in up dar today" was the answer.
"Votin'? What's dey votin' for?'
"Dey was votin' for IS apiece wen
left"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-10-20

Chester-Southern Ry., 8. A. L., and
L. & G.
Yorkville-S. C. & G. Extension.
Gastonia-Southern Ry.
Lincolnton-S. A. L.
Newton & Hickory-Southern Ry.
Lenoir-Blowing Rock Stage Line and
G. & N.
E. F. REID, G. P. Agent.
Cheser, South Carolina
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-10-20

sw Son--Father, why do they call
preachers doctors Of divinity. Father
(of the old schooD-Because so many
preachers doctor their divinity to suit
their own ideas.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-10-20

aG From the way some men offer
prayers it Is difficult to tell whether
they are ministers or auctloneers.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-10-20
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION:

pcOoSASA~ -
Single copy for one year, r,..............$ = OO
One copy for two years, ,................. SO
For six months, hs,.........."...-............ lOO
For three months, s,.."..................... oO
Two copies for one year,."......... 3 90
Ten copies one year,........."........ IL oO
And an extra copy for aclub OF ten.
ADVERTISE
Inserted at One Dollar per square for the
first insertion, and Fifty Cents per square
for each subsequent insertion: A square
consists of the space occupied by ten lines
of this size type.
@r Contracts for advertising space for
tbree. ak. or twelve months will be made
on reasonable terms. The contracts must
in ali cases be confined to the regular
business of the firm or individual con-
tracting, and the manuscript must be In
the office by Monday at noon when in
tended for Wednesdays issue, and on
wednesday when intended for Saturdays
issue.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10
TWO MEAN TOWNS.
Stories Told by Travelling Men About
Couple OF Decidedly Poor
Places to Live In.
They were talking about bad towns.

They were talking about bad towns.
The meanest place | ever was In, said
the man who travels for Chicago house, is
down IL Massachusetts. Say, do you know
what happened while | was stopping theT
onceE \ man had fallen through a hole
the sidewalk and sustained injuries that n
suited IL the loss OF has right arm. he sue
the city for damages. and the case was THE
before a jury, which, the papers sand : "
composed of representative citizens. We
what do you suppose they did to him
Brought IN a verdict in favor OF the cit
holding that inasmuch a. he was left handd
has injury didn't amount TO anything.
Yes, the cigar man said, that's pref
mean town, | admit, but | know Of wor
one This place Is IN Pennsylvania. An a
quaintance Of mine down there was injure
some time ago IL pretty much the same wa
the man you mentioned got hurt. He fell ON
bad sidewalk and lost one of his legs. He'
sued the city, and didn't get anything. /
never heard Just why, but probably because
the jurors didn't believe he needed more than
one leg IN ms business, seeing that ne was
a barber and couldn't hone razor or shave
a man with his foot anyway. But wait, |
haven't come to the point al which the real
meanness developed. Being poor man, be
couldn't afford TO buy a cork leg, so he had
10 get along with a wooden peg, and one day
while he was crossing the principal street
this peg IN some way got wedged between \
couple of paving stones right IN the middle OF
the street car track. II took them nearly an
hour 20 get him loose and what do YOU sup,
pose happened then! Blamed If they didn' Z
90 and fine him ten dollars and costs for
obstrusting afiic"-Chicago Times Herald.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10
How woman Wa. Mnde.

A small boy in the Mission Sunday school
of Bishop Fallows' church propounded an
entirely new theory OF creation last Sunday.
'Who made man." asked the teacher be-
ginning, as in the good old days when ortho-
duXy used catechiSms.
God" was the prompt reply
And how did he make him"
out of dust. ma am; nothing but dust"
And who made woman"
"tiod made her. too, ma am
How"
The small boy hesitated and then replied
cheerfully: He caused a deep sleep TO fall
upon man and then took out his back bone
and made the woman" -Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10
Hoyy'a ThisH

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured
by Halls Catarrh Cure.
We, the undersigned, have known f. j.
Cheney for the last 10 years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in all business transac-
tlons and financially able TO carry out any
obligations made by their firm
West q Truax, Wholesale Druggists. To-
ledo, O.
Walding, Kinnan & Marvin, Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo, O.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces Of the system. Price 75c per bot
tie. Sold by all Druggists. Testimonials
free
HALLS Family Pills are the best.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10
PRONE TO EXAGGERATE.
This Tendency Of Americans Anordi
Amusement To Eng
lish Writer.

Americans are not notable for their strict
adherence 10 the truth, but their eNaggera-
tons are SO manifest that they cannot be
fairly accused Of lying William Archer, an
English author, has recently written a book
IN winch he gives some characteristic exam
pies OF this trait. He very properly classes it
as American humor.'
On board one of the Florida steamboatss
which have TO be built with exceedingly igHt
draught 70 get over the frequent shallowspf
the rivers" he relates, IAN Englishnan ae-
costed the captain with the remark: i uI-
derstand, captain, that you think nothing of
steamlng across a meadow where there's
been heavy fall OF dew. Well, / don't
know about that replied the captain, but
1t true we sometimes, have to send man
ern colonel was c3hddcted4o the theater to
see Salvini's 'OtbSfo' Hes&witnessed the
performance l.ggavely, and remarked at the
close: That was mighty good show, and
i don't see but the coon did as web as anS,
OF EN-! a third anecdote that charmed
me was that of the man who. being invited
to take a drink, replied: No, no, L solemnly
promised my dear, dead mother never to.
touch drop; besides, boys, it's too early in
the morning; besides, I've Just had ope -
Chicago Chronicle.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10

Albert II. Holder, an expert mining
engineer who has arrived from 81
RIGA. says that the war between the
Beers and the British will last ut
least two years. He predicts that be
fore giving up Johannesburg the Beers
will destroy the mines and everything
else, the whole being valued at bill
lion and half dollars.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10
EnrIand'S Armored Trains.

The magnificent armored trains used by
England IN her war with the Beers will trans
port her troops. protect bridges and tele-
graphic communications in about the same
way that HOstetters Stomach BHters drives
dyspepsia from the human stomach and then
mounts guard that 1t does not return. The
Bltters has won IN every case of indigestion,
bihouSness, liver and kidney trouble for the
past tItty wears. 1t is Invaluable at a ID times
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10

Foreigners who visit the Paris ex.
position this year viii have an oppor-
tunity Of seeing a typical American
machine shop in full operation. Not
only Will the machinery in the build
ing. such as travelling cranes, hangers.
shafting. electric motors, etc. be Of
American make. but the structure it.
self will have been made on this side
of the Atlantic
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10

Residents of West Hartford. Conn.
have organized the Noah Webster Me
mortal association, the object of which
is to erect a library building in that
town in memory of the great lexicog-
rapher. Mr.. Webster was born in Oc-
tober. 1858. within the limits of West
Hartford. when il was q portion of the
town Of Hartford, and he lied there in
NAV. 1913
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10

Ag&anNeXcited woman in Chicago
has cSGmed a 1pan as her husband duly
Sto learn later tHsAj she never saw him
before If this sort of thing keeps up it
will soon be unsafe for any man TO 90
abroad without taking his wife along
for protection, and if he has no wife
1ere viii be nothing for him 10 do but
remain indoors and keep away from
the windows where anxious females
might get glimpse Of him.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10

John L. Sullivan says he is sorry nov
that he didn't put his money into
United States bonds instead of lending
it to tiattering friends and paying five
dollars for shine. He places his loss"
at a million. which shows pugilis,ic
popularity TO be as uncertain as Wal
street
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10

The Publishers Guide OF New Yorh
fcity s2y's: If one thing is more up-
paEeft than another in the wonderful
Development of the END of the hin e.
teenth century, it is thar advertising j.
a factor in modern merchandise q as
necessary as the clerk or rent hire"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10

a soldier in New Mexico has beer
married TO kentucky girl by tele
graph. All that is needed now j. a svs
tenn of engagements by mail, honey
moons 10y long-distance telephone auC
divorces by thought transfererce to
make marriage an estate of beatituGe-
for those who don't do IL.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10

y Brooklyn man claims 10 have In
vented boat :hat viii cross the ocean
in three days. OF course that is better
than crossing in five days. and yet it
does not quite fill the bill" What i
needed is a boat that will take one
across so quick that there viii not be
time TO get seasick.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10

Il is intimated that the census OF
Cuba viii show a larger population %
the island than was cNpecirC Lsti-
mates from careful authorities on The
ground put the mum Der of inhabitants
at about 1851, 900, which is 100000
more than has been commonly sup
posed Another fact which will cause
general surprise is that the proportion
of negroes in the island is found 10 I've
much smaller than has been imagined.
The ratio. il is now believed. viii be
found much below that in Mississippi.
puth Caroline and Louisiana We
Re already enough.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10

"a dispatch from Vienna says tha,
The government is fearful that the
country Will be depopulated by the en-
,igration 10 America. From one county
alone G,5oO men have started for TIN.
Country curing the past II months.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10

An automobile enthusiast made the
trip between Boston and New York. a
distance Of PSI miles, in II hours. ono
day the past week. The trip cost him
As cents for gasoline. or little more
than oue-siNth of a cent per mile.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10
A TnnEh subject.

Yes, the fire burned out the costly FIX.
lures of the saloon 1t must have been
smo,dering away for hours before 1t was dis
covered
"On fire for hours eh?"
Yes"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10

II is said the oleomnrgarine facto-
ries have driven 100000 cows out of
business. Between these and the pump
it begins TO look as though bossy
would soon have nothing to do but lie
in the shade and ruminate.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10
AnnrnrIn,ntc,i

First Wife-llaye you any idea what your
husbands income isZ
second VIE On, most anywhere Between
two and three O'Clock Do the morpiugN- Bos-
ton Courier. ~
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10
rEREDO.

Uncle Sans new refrigerator al Ma
Mia will be n building $50 feet square
and As feet high. In addition TO pre-
serving rations it will produce daily 50
TONS of ice and 5000 gallons of distilled
winter
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10
Hard to BcIieve.

u wouldn't have minded being
whipped so much said the yornr
cu'prit. "if the teacher hadn't sad
that my punishment hurt him more
than it did me-"
That oughtu't - make YOU feel
~ worse"
wen il did. What be punished me
whs telling stoI5es."-WashingtoD
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10
PRACTICAL.

Fod watches over every child with a
lo'H FAR surprising that of earthly
paHcuts.
Every child should be so Taught as
TO realize that God is his heavenly Fa.
thcr.
Every child should be about his
Fathers business" so that his whole
Ife Say be devoted 20 Him.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10

There's no pleasure IN living. II you're
20 be Eorked up foreycr. and onIy am.
ole YOUR mind out by the sly, like q
,eaky Aarrel.-George Eliot
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1900-01-10
THE SUNDAY SCHOOL.
Lesson In the international Series for
january II, 1900 - The Child
Jcsus-Lukc 2:41-40.

GOLDEN TEXT.-And Jesus increased
- wisdom and stature. and In favor witt
COO and rnan.-Luke 2:52
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1900-01-05
LiTWALTON.

Happy New Year" to all the dear good
readers Of the CITIZEN Is the sincere
wish OF this humble writer.
Misses Fannie Lyell Rock aud Jennie
Ficklin, after spending most delight
full Christmas at their homes, returned
TO The bowling Green Seminary Saturday.
Mrs. DIR. Lewis and children, with Mrs.
l.. l.. Neale, returned Friday from
Washington, where they have been on
lengthy visit.
Mr.. and Mrs. r. b. Omohundro are
visiting in Westmoreland.
Rev. G. w. Beale, ID. ID, preached a
most excellent sermon at Lebanon last
Sunday morning.
DR.. +. w. Lewis has recently built a
new front porch, which adds greatly to
the looks OF his house.
Mrs. A. L. Ficklin was visiting the
Oaks" the lovely home of Mr.. II. It.
Peirce, Sunday.
Mrs. l.. @. Mitchell, after spending a
Merry Christmas In fredericksburg, has
returned home.
t. Dorsey E.cslin has recently pur-
chased two very fine ponies from
Norfolk.
DR.. @. T. Peirce, of Accomack county,
visited his parental home during the
holidays.
L. T. Rock filled his ice-house with
nice solid ice this week.
Misses Mary and Lucy Jesse returned
Saturday from Baltimore, where they
have been visiting their aunt. They re-
port delightful time.
j. w. Brillhsr; was on a visit recently
to Pennsylvania.
The recent cold snap has brought
skates into demand
The Dispateh announces that Rev. VIM
Meade Clark and his bride (nee Miss
Alice Peirce) have returned from their
Southern tour and are now at their resi-
dence on north 9th street, Richmond.
May this year bring peace and pros
perty to all the nations of the earth Is
the wish of WALTER.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1900-01-05
CAUGHT ON THE FLY.

c. l.. Brown, of Lancaster, was in
Baltimore recently.
a new postofflce has been established
at zscs, Westmoreiand county, with
VIM. L. Henderson as postmaster.
Mrs. L. M. Owens and daughter. of
Reedyillc, were in Baltimore the past
week. We are pleased TO note that the
condition OF Capt. Willard Owens lie
improving
A Norfolk paper had a very interest
ing account Of the farewell of Rev. w.
II. Edwards rendered by his church up
ON his leaving this Conference year to
assume the duties of presiding elder of
Farslville district.
The Jr. D. U. A. Ms at Warsaw on
last Friday night held an entertainment
and parade. Some OF the features were
the attendance of coverings band of
Fredericksburg, aud speeches by Hon,
w. A. jones and DIR. w. w. Douglas.
Owing to ice, steamer Richmond did
not get nearer than six miles TO Freder-
icksburg on Saturday last. She landed
passengers, who drove TO the city, and
then she returned to Port Royal until
Monday evening, coming down Tuesday
on her regular schedule. The continuous
cold makes 1t difficult to say when
steamer will now get to Fredericksburg.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1900-01-05
WEEMS.

As an illustration OF how the thrifty
housewives over here help TO make a
comfortable living, we will notice Mrs
Chas. Marsh, who has sold 10 one OF our
merchants, w. A. Cameron & Bro,
over $500 worth of eggs and chicke ms
since April 1St. Such industry as this
can rest on rainy days with a contented
MUD
Mr.. G. Ii. Chance, has returned from
Baltimore, where he went to undergo
treatment for heart trouble. He looks
much better and has good hopes of a
complete cure
Mr.. and Mrs. Evan Owen, Jr, spen,
Xmas with the laIter's parents at Ridgely
Md.
The mud machine that was here about
month ago and which Is now al
Cricket Hill. Va, working for the gov
eminent, has been libeled for work done
on one of her scows by Urbanna work
men.
Ohio Jones, of st. Mary's, Nd, has
entered the employ Of Capt. Jno. M.
Cannon.
Messrs. Bryant, "Buck" Webb and
VIM. Sullivan had a narrow escape from
drowning in Carriers Greek few days
ago. Their boat capsized, Bryant got
ashore, but the other two hung on to the
upturned boat until help arrived.
Coon.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1900-01-05
Fishing Notes.

Steamer Emily Foote, belonging to
the Carriers Greek Fish Guano Co.,
leaves this week for Norfolk to be re-
tubed and have condensers put on. Their
large steamer Wacker goes out OF com.
mission temporarily in order to have
her boilers overhauled, and If necessary
remade.
Both steamers belonging to Bellows s.
Squires are In Baltimore being over
hauled and retitted. The Froehlich is
being cut In two and is feet added to her
length. She will have new engines
throughout. The Bradley is being re-
tubed and rebuilt. The firm Is also
awaiting bids on specifications for new
boat which shall make IA knots. Their
factory buildings on Dymer's Creek are
being repaired and enlarged.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1900-01-05
without Sense of Smell.


VIM. @. Fitzhueh is the genial
proprietor of the Ross House, at Ur-
hanna, Va, and while he has long
catered to the great satisfaction of
the travelling public, this boniface has
from infancy been bereft of one of the
senses which it would be thought
was essential in keeping, as he has
done, first-class hosiery. He has
never known what 1T is to have the
sense of smell. Even hartshorn,
which is one of the strongest odors,
produces no sensation to him when
shifted into the nostril by such a
draught as would floor an ordinary
individual.
MIR. Fitzhugh came into the world
with severe cold, and for time his
life was despaired of. Shortly after
ward he fell across a bucket, his
nose striking on the rim and frac-
turing the bridge. To these reasons
ne ascribes his lack of olfactory
powers. The affection goes so far as
to deprive him, in a measure, of the
sense of taste. Flavors and mild ex-
tracts are indistinguishable to him;
for instance, hecannot recognize any
flavor in ice cream, though he is
very found of this delicacy, enjoying
it for its sweetness.
One would think that life was
hardly endurable when deprived of
all the sweetest odors the Creator has
given us, but Mr.. Fitzhugh feels
that his affiiction is not so much of
an one after all when he sees the
town so shifting by, and between
breaths mutter Ssh fac-t(O)ryl"