Evening journal., 1900-12-03
Bill Jones' PrccepiOr Admits The
Presence Of Truth in the
Lines
BUT CRITICISES THE METAPHOR
And Says the Meter Is Not Coed.
Colonel Barnard'S Chances
Fully Discussed
Addix Hedkwarters,
Wilmington. Dellywer,
Desember therd, 1900.

Wilmington, Dellywer,
Desember therd 1900
Mrs. William Jones,
sandtown. Shoostring Deestrict,
Kent Kounty, Dellywer.
Mi dere Mary Ann:
Mister Addix is allus spendin' mummy
an hyin' sumthin Sumtimes hits a
man; an then agin hits a nCospaper;
an then agin hits a house or a yot.
The latest thing he's dun along that
line is to bi a Crate Dane pup, an
hits a buty. Hits got short-term
ears, a long-term tall a nO-kompro-
mize face. a look Of kompound vakinsy
in hits klose-set eyes, dedlock teeth an
we've named him Seniter. All the fell
lers think a hole heep Of that there
pup an no mistake, an there's sum
talk OF agreein' on him as a kompro-
mize kandidate.
Have yu herd ennything down
around Sandtown about jim Shaw, OF
Moo Kassel, takin' Chawnsey HOlkum,
the Demmokratic representative frum
the Tenth deestrict. out drivin 50
much? ! CESS they hain't drove down
that fur yit, but they're coverin' the
Stait purity well. especially at mite wen
nobody hain't lookin'. Wen Mister
Shaw told Mister Addix as how Mister
Husnebeck had bin beet. Mister Addix
sez: "HOO's eleckted?", Mister Shaw
sez. "Chawnsey Pee Holkum.' Mister
Addix sez. "Wot's his pollyticks?"
Mister Shaw sez. Hes a Dimmokrat. -
Mister Addix sez, Are yu shure?"
Mister Shaw sez. II think / ann Mis-
ter Addix sez. We'll take Mister Hoi-
KUN out drivir a few times an see ei
yu hain't mistakin." So fur as !
know, Mister Shaw hain't made no re-
pert yit, an hit looks as tho he's goin
to drive his horse TO deth, an then me
an Mister Addixll have anuther bill
to pay. Jim Shaw's sertenly an ex-
travagent feller wen hit Gums to driv-
in at mite. an no mistaik. But | wish
Mister Holkum kud see his way klere
to vote fer Mister Addix
I'm tabin' lessins I'm poetree frum
Mister Howell S. England, Mary Ann
an he sez Pm gittin' along all rite
The furst thing I rote wuz this:
Mister Watsin spurry,
With his Germin silver pen.
Flopped up the Addix hill.
An then fopped back agen.
An wen he WIZ up he wuz up
An wen he wuz down, he wu7
down
An wen he wuz only half way up,
He wuz neother up nor down.
Wen l showed hit to Mister England
he sez. Bill. there's more truth than
poetry in that there thing-try agin. '
An then ] set down an rote this yere
Owed to Mister Addix:"
So mere. an yet so farl
Hit hain't no joke to run an run,
An never git but 21
Wen 27's needed
The thing to do is give a hip
Hurrah an keep yer lip
So stiff that nit won't bend
Until yu reech the end
That there's konseeded!
So mere. an yet go far
You've did the very best yu kud.
An split no end OF gold an blud,
An got all yu kin git,
But don't lose hart an git the dumps
Becaws sum feller's choked yer pumps
Jest wurk an kwit yer blinkin'
TIL yu fele the derned thing sinkin'-
Then pack yer kit
So mere. an yet so far,
Hits hard to git mere Port of Hope
An have the he'd winds bust yer rope
An strane an split yer sale.
/ But Wen a feller's delt in wind
Eleven yeres. he mustn't mind
Ef hit shud shift an then cum back
An send him on the uther tack
An make his gills git palel
So mere. an yet so far,
! Yu may not make hit. Ned, but still,
Jest flop around an say yu will,
An make an awful fuss
Die like a man. in rubber boots.
Fergit yer opry hats an soots,-
Fer Wen yu sink the clouds will fly,
The air'll look bloor. bi-an-bi,
Wen you've begun to cuss.
Mister England sez sum Of III,
wurds IL all rte. but he don't like wOi
l lQ calls fhp u1aafQr nm rnoftffo, Mot