St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-08-18
AN 1MpRoMpTu SPEECH.
what the Census Enumerafor SAID
when Called Upon for an
Address.

Although William r. Merriam, the
present enumerator of the census and
former governor of Minnesota, Is a
capable business man and an astute
politician, ne has always had great
difficulty in his attempts at speech
making, says the Chicago Chronicle
He shutters and stammers like bash.
full schoolboy, and is never secure
from making blunders except when he
has his remarks committed to paper
Shortly after his election to the gov
crnorship Mr.. Merriam was requested
to deliver an address at the opening OF
the first electric line in st. Paul. 9th,
er speakers on this occasion were
Thomas Cochran, OF st. Paul, and
Archbishop Ireland. Gov. Merriam
prepared his speech, had it nicely type
written, and started on the morning
of Washington's birthday for the
scene of his proposed celebration. He
missed the special car which carried
the rest of the orators, and another
special was run out for the governors
private use. He invited George
Thompson, owner of the st. Paul Dis
patch, to accompany him. Mr.. Thomp-
son having been belated also.
As the car approached Manchester
college grounds the governor noticed
a.crowd of men gathered on both sides
of the track. Every man had little
flag, which he waved with shouting
and gesticulation as the gubernatorial
cnariot approached. The governor
grew apprehensive.
'Heavens, Thompson!" he gasped, II
believe those chaps want me to make
a speech-see 'em wave those fiags?"
''Of course, they do" said Thomp-
son. Its Wasnington's birthday, and
you'll have to do it."
"But can't" cried the governor.
'Confound it. man, I've only got one
speech, and I'm to deliver that at the
end of the line Look here. what the
devil am to do? Here, motorman. go
right through this layout as tight as
you can jump" 4s
"Why. that will never do" inter
posed Thompson, ..you must say some.
thing or other-just tell 'em it's WASH
ington's birthday-that Washington
was the father of his country, and be.
seech 'em to let the eagle scream"
Just as the car had reached an adj
vantageous position, right in the mid
die of the crowd. bump went the mo-
tor and the outfit stopped. Merriam,
white-faced and trembling. stepped
out on the rear platform. took off his
tall, silk hat. balanced it jauntily on
his hip. stuck his right hand in the
breast of his frock coat and began:
''Students of Manchester" he
gasped. "Ah-er-students of Macal-
ester-this, students Of Macalester, is
the birthday-this students of Macal.
ester, is the-er-birthday- birth.
day of-er-the-er-ill -illustrious-er-
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Washington,
students of Macalester-"
First in war. first in peace and
first" prompted Thompson in a pip
ing voice from the interior of the car.
"As I was saying-er-students OF
Macalester-this is the-er-birthday
of-er-George Washington, the
father of his country. Er-er-let
the eagle scream!" gasped the gov
ernor. with last despairing effort.
He boarded the car, which by this
time had been supplied with new
fuse. and from there on to the end of
the line he famed himself with the
manuscript of his prepared speech,
while Thompson roared with laughter
loudly enough to set all the hens along
the route cackling. sa