The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1900-08-10
Wanted No More Science
MY RESPECTABLE friend, Mr.
They Would Rather Turn Honest Than Go
Through Such an Experience Again.
NEANNE AS 7yS ~ N as ~ 55EzS

IvI Simbell, who had left the skilled
profession of ousebreaking for the
more humdrum but safer occupa ton
OF coal dealer, is man with consid-
cradle sense of humor.
81 can tell you a story about me
and Andy and Patsy Darlington that.
isn't bad fun" he said to me one day.
1T was like this. Andy and me
often met at the Angel, in Brixton,
and one day we were together and
pretty hard up. Well, in comes Patsy
fellow never cared much for, al
though he and Andy chummed to-
gether. We saw he'd something on his
mind, and l thought he wanted me
gone, but Andy would make me stop
for it. Patsy had been down near
Leatherhead, to see some friends, and
he thought he'd spotted good thing.
"'Ever heard of Sir Miles Harold,
sir? o, you have. Well, then, you
know that he was nearly millionaire,
if not quite. His father was big con-
tractor, but Miles was one of them
scientific gents, always bothering
with chemicals and things of that sort.
Patsy came down with the news
that it was a place worth cracking.
Sir Miles had got some splendid gold
and silver plate, and, as the house
wasn't well guarded, it was an easy
job.
"'You crack it, then, Patsy ses I.
I'm bit superstitious about scientific
gents
Its as easy as winkin',' he ses.
The old fool thinks nothing but about
his playthings.'
candy looked at me and winked,
and then told Patsy to dry up while
him and me talked it over. At last we
decided that Andy shnslld GO down and
have look at the job hisself, and if it
was all right we should GO in partner
ship over it
He went the next day. He was
there a day or two and came back
quite enthusiastic, and we set to work
at once.
1--WE hired a greengrocer's cart, with
fast pony, to do the job with. Patsy
drove down to Leatherhead, and Andy
and me went by train. Patsy was to
look after the cart while Andy and me
got the swag, but the programme had
to be altered. The morning we set out
slipped ON the wet pavement, and
came down on my arm. It wasn't
broken, but it was badly bruised and
my wrist was sprained, and had to
be odd man ont stead of Patsy.
"I drew up outside the house as near
to the grounds as could get, and, my
chums went on 1t was a. capital night,
no moon, but starlight.
PATSY had marked a swing window
to the larder, and> being a slim chap,
he wriggled through and went round
to the dining-room window and let
Andy in.
''The best of the plate was kept in a
cabinet in the dining-room. 1t only
took Patsy "a minute or two to pick
the lock, and Andy sucked, in his
breath at the sight inside. They were
busy storing it in the bag, when sud-
denly the room blazed with light
electric light, of course-and a quiet
voice said: please put your hands
above your heads, or 1 must shoot
that their hands went up almost by
themselves, and they screwed round
their heads to see Sir Miles-a pale,
dreamyloolAing gent, with big fore
head-standing in a, doorway with a
revolver covering them.
'Don'tgive me the trouble to shoot,
gentlemen; it would make such a
nasty mess on the carpet ses he. Car
ruthers, bring me some cord
"a big young fellow stepped for
ward with a Laugh and began fasten-
ing their hands and elbows together,
after which he hobbled their feet.
when they were trussed up Sir
Miles commanded them to follow him,
and they shuffied along, with the
young chap behind. He led them into
the workshop and made them SIT
down.
"'Very interesting capture, Caruth-
ers,' said Sir Miles. 'Burglars?'
"'Yes, SIR ses Carrutbers.
"'You are not very intelligent mem
bers of your profession he ses to
Andy and Pat, 'or you would not have
SOnC nC ny
going outside and coming in. by the
window as these gentlemen did. /
want to show them how stupid they
WERE
eyes, SIR he ses, and he went out,
and presently bell close to them be-
gan ringing softly. He is getting
through the window now,' SEES. Sir
Miles. And this bell'-pointing to an
other-'rang when you opened the
cabinet. You were exceedingly fool
ish.'
""If you'll let us go, SIR ses Andy,
speaking his politest, well never be
foolish no more. You're too clever
gent for us, sir
'Carruthers,' he ses when his man
came in again. this foolish person sug-
gests that 1 should let them 60. He
does not know how well timed this
visit is. A capital opportunity for
trying my new battery, Carruthers.'
''Carruthers screwed up his face
81 don't think I should, SIR ses he.
"'Why not?'
1T might kill them, sir
90 ses Sir Miles, as careless as you
please, they're lusty fellows; and. be-