Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1900-04-05

Ikff a hidt IN II CO hSaiiJ
Wv artificial as he can be
and live?"
Well" answered the maker of artificial
limbs, that would depend upon how much
he could pay for reconstruction. AS
Stunning that you were the man and that
you had come to me from the hands of
the surgeon al ready to be trimmed up.
| would begin by putting you on III
feet-or, rather. putting your feet on you.
II you were satisfied to go stumping about
the world on pin legs / could fit you a
pair for any price from SO to $50. Blu
If you wanted a really artistic pair OF
legs. with knee Joint. ankle joint, rubber
buffers and q 7Drlngy and elastic foot.
they would cost you from $50 to $500.
But you could stand and walk with these
so as to deceive a drill master, and you
could YEA the two easily. Dancing and
riding would not be too difficult for you
after a little practice. If you had lost
only a foot / could replace 1t for from
$25 to $50. made to measure.
Then you would want a pair of useful
arms. with hands n various necessary
implements. l an supposing that you had
lost your arms above the elbow and
wanted them replaced with workin mem
bers. Both of them would cost you from
S125 to sos. They would have flexible
hands and wrists and elbow joints. With
these hands you could hold a pen or
pick up small objects and shake hands
with a person without his knowing what
he was grasping. But you could not do
any hard work with them. You would
therefore need several instruments which
you could screw into the arm after hav-
ing removed the hand There would be a
fork. which would cost So: a knife at
the same price; a spoon. same price: a
nook at $50. and a wise at $3.50. If
you wanted to play cards you could have
a card holder at 81. or q cue holder for
billiard playing for $3.50. and a rein
holder for driving at $1.50. I could fur
nish you with a hammer. saw, clothes
brush and many other useful things-call
it $50 for the lot. This would make a
good-sized total for the arms complete.
but when you consider that a single
finger OF the first grade would cost you
SIS the whole paraphernalia for from
$50 to $3.50 is not so dear.
"Of course your head would need a lot
OF repairing. Your hair would be torn
off. and / would have to fit you with a
wig. This I could do wen for about
$50: but IL you wanted a really frst-class
article, that would not be detected as a
wig, / would be obliged to charge you
from 500 to $50 for it.
Then there are your teeth. You would
not have one left. according to the
specifications, and your palate would be
smashed. / could replace the palate for
from S. to SIS. The teeth l could do for
$40. but you would take no comfort with
them. They would never be really easy
in your mouth and you would lose flesh
worrying about breaking them. Better
give me $40 for them. and then you would
not only feel comfortable, but you would
nave no fear Of their falling out or break
ing.
Then there's your nose. OF course,
that is shaved off. The nose, as l need
not remind you is an important feature
and requires great care to be made to fit
the rest of the face. 1t is possible for
me to make a nose for you for $40. but
il would pay you better TO give me 500
and nave a nasal organ that would do
YOU proud and last as long as you lived
a really artistic production.
Both eyes have been gouged out. !
nave ready-made eyes for almost any fig
ure you might wish to name. But IL you
have the money to spare n want a
particular shade or color 1 would be
obliged to charge you from $50 to S25 for
the pair. They would be the best the
market affords. however, and an exact
reproduction of the eyes you lost, and
made of the best material.
Then you would want a pair of ears.
l would build these UP of aluminium n
wax, paint them like flesh and fasten
them with mastic for a fee of from $40
to 500. according to your order.
Your ear drums having been destroyed
I would nave to replace them. This would
cost you from S. to SIS. They are perish
able and would have TO be renewed fire.
quently.
THAT Is about all / could do for you.
unless you wanted a silver tube put In
your windpipe. This would cost you $1.50
IL you could not afford more. and from
that ur to So.
make a list of the parts and you see
they will foot up something like this:
Two legs and feet. $500
Two arms and hands. 20
Set of instruments %
Wig ...........-... iJu
Thirty-two teeth ~
1 Palate .,...-........ ~
Nose ........... ...........s...... 100
Pair OF eyes .......t.'................... -
Pair OF lUv
Tubs for wiidpipe .........,..,.-......- 70
Total renovation ..t....t...... 81 GAS
"Then you would be a work OF art
New York Press