Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-24

A Yorkshire girl asks for a simple code
of Irritation, saying that she is familiar
with the fan and handkerchief system,
and wants to know if there is no other.
Here is simple code-the brickbat
fiirtation:
Picking up a brick from the street,
am waiting for you.
Carrying brick IN right hand-I am
watching you.
Carving brick in left hand-I feel Sc
cure.
Biting corner of brick-I love you.
Rubbing brick on nose-Write 10 me.
Wrapping brick in handkerchief-l
doubt you.
Throwing brick through window-Be-
ware of the neighbOrs.
Balancing brick on chin-We are
watched
Striking back of head with brick-I am
married.
SCRATCHING ear with brick-Don't speak
to me.
Throwing brick at strangers head-I
want to make an impression.
Putting brick in pocket-We are safe.
This code has the advantage of being
certain to attract attention, and brlcks
are always to be found, even when your
fan is home.-Answers.
caring the w OESl.- wv III IL
never allowed to stay out of SCHOOL,
..Howde Hurlbut didn't came to school
all day" Mamma-"Why not?' Sam
my-"'Cause his mother died. When
you die may I stay home all day." Nam
ma-''Yes, darling; you may stay out a
whole week" Sammy (suspiciously)-
"Oh. 1 know; you mean to die in vaca-
ton. ''-Harlem Life.
g Of al \Totbolic
deacon living IN the South who recently
visited friends in New York. At dinner
spaghetti was one Of the dishes served,
and the good old deacon, who had never
seen any before. took to it with great
celebrity. After dispatching two generous
Datesful of the Italian paste he ven
tured to ask his hostess the name of the
new dish. 1T is spaghetti, deacon" she
replied, IAN Italian DISH "Well." said
the old man, cts mighty good, and
wish before [ go you'd give me some Of
the seed. bet 1 could raise some down
in Georgia.
It was on west side cable. The stout
Teuton woman with little boy handed a
conductor a 81 bill.
Smallest you have?" inquired the con-
ductor, as he shifted the silver nickels i'll
his pocket.
She thought he meant the little boy.
home only dree months old alreddy."
Then the laugh was GA the conductor.
Tacoma News.
1t was a busted theatrical manager get
ting home on the proceeds of his watch,
and when lie had admitted as much he
was asked by a fellow passenger:
WAS the play failure, that you got
lef1?"
"Oh, no. The play was all right was
the reply.
Anything wrong with the actors:"
Nothing at AL"
''Strike a s,reak of bad weather to
make light hOuses?''
No. Weather was all right, and the
houses were crowded.
And no one ran away with the boo
dep
No, sir"
"Then l don't exactly understand how
you made a failure OF it" persisted the
interrogation.
Easiest thing in the world'' explained
The busted Wed been out four weeks
and were doing a smashing business,
when the old woman of the play struck
me for 81 worth of salary and busted the
show all tC smash. I'd counted on that
81 to help US Ell forty-two dates. but she
would have t, and the rest Of the people
are walking home.'
He-"Oh, promise to marry me. I
know l am not worthy of you, but it will
make me so happy
She-"You drink, you smoke, and you
bet''
He-"Tve signed the pledge, honor
bright Now accept me-
She-''Well, you smoke and you bet"
He-"Haven't smoked in a year. Now
will you marry me"'
She-"You bet."-Harlem Life.
A correspondent sends us this schedule
of the expenses of rural candidate:
''Due Amos Jones. for one vote, 2 gal
Ions of molasses an a peck of meal
"Dua Pink Stubs for camnaign work