The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-08-05

( SleSh idSI winter, ne related lite cpl
( sode that will illustrate the cosmopOli-
( tan character of the population in Okla
hoWa better than a whole table of sta
tistics. l will tell the story in his own
language as nearly as | can. After we
had finished supper, Bill started up.
| Did you ever hear whut happened
down at the TaiI-hOlt schoolhouse last
! December? Wull, it's the funniest story
/ ever wUz, strange-like, en- nuthin' like
/ 1t ever wuz. er could a-been, aney-
! Whdyre else than in Oklahoma, l reck-
! on
| 1 had not heard about it, and Bill ac-
cordingly continued:
''Ye see. the purfesser at Tail-hOlt
| last winter WUZ jim dandy. Reckon
| he himself diden't even know tibet he
| knOwed half eZ much ez he did-nOt by
/ the dickshunairy name, aneyhOW. But
! he Wuz sensible, en- he has ideeS; en-
when a man with idees gifts into a
schoolhOuse with boys en- girls tibet
! amt asleep he makes things git up en-
hum fer keeps. We hadn't had aney
thing new in the deestrict sence the
| openin'; en- several of US leadin' pat
terms aXed him to give us somepin new
Ell lively like fer the winter-SOmepin
good fer ole foxes eZwell eZ Children.
He kind of thOrt awhile en- chawed his
| muSstash; en- arter awhile, styddyin'
II
match No. says I, tibet is too ole en-
wore out We had jogafy matches in
ole Indianny when l WuZ jist a leetel
kid. But says he, but this air a new
! kind of jogafy match; l know it air
+ plum new cause I've jist made it up
myself says he 1t couldent be did
| aneyWhayre else than in OklahOmy,
| either says he Let us have it to
Onct! says I, speakin' fer the crowd.
| agreed
| 'WulI, he announced the mex day
| afoTe books wuz let out that thayre
would be d ginyuine original jogafy
/ match, strictly pertainin' to OklahOmy,
/ at the schoolhouse the mex Friday
/ evenin' at airly lamp lightin'; en- all
/ the scholars en- patterns en- frien's wuz
| TO come. He said it wuz TO be new
| tangled sort of jagofy match, SIGH ez
/ could be got up nOwhayre else in the
/ wide world than in Oklahomy; en-, says
| he, everybody better come. en- see the
fun en- git akwainted. en- larn somepin,
! 700.
Friday night the ole sod schooIhouse
wuz jam-pack full of foxes, en- a good
| many on 'em bad to stan up aroun' the
| aiSes; but it wuz a purity warm night
/ -Oklahomy has a good many purity
| warm nights in December, ye know
en- they got along furst rate; en- arter
| ned let 'em talk awhile, along about
/ O'Clock the purfeSsor called the meetin
/ to order en- tOlt 'em the kind of a
match he had thort out en- his great
! purpoSs in deViSin' it. He said he no.
/ ticed thet a good many people in Okla
/ horny didn't know they're neighbOrS
] although they WuZ alvin right ClOst
/ up again EN-, en- thet thqyrefOre some
on EN- WUZZent ez contented en- happy
I, !
! gelOriOus country en- with SIGH d dee
| lightful climate. The purfeSsOr could
handle the lingo nice en- straight. I tell
/ We, en- l never heerd a better speech in
I my life. He's shore got the gift of CAB
/ in great shape. He said tibet many a
time when he wuz a-rovin' en- a-rOamin'
/ aroun' in strange parts en- among
! strange people, ne allus forgot all about
/ bein' lonesome when he run up agin
some Teller tibet wuz from Eelinoi. The
! purfeSSOr WuZ from EelinOi, en- he alluS
felt like he Wuz at home when ne could
: shake hans with a Sucker. En- he says
| this here match air not only to teach
/ the children Whayre the diffTUnt states
en- territories en- foreign countries air,
/ but it air to teach you all eggsackly
/ Whayre one another come from, so you
kin hunt yer neighbOrs up, en- git So
ciable en- friendly. Il find tibet in this
air men en- women from almost every
state in the Union er out of it, SIGH as
territories, en- many on 'em from for
elgn countries, en- we can larn a whole
/ lot about them various places ez we'll
ez git ackwainted with each other by
this here proceeding says he"
AFTER the DurfesSOr had fust men
| toned the matter TO me, l KEEP gittin'
| Uneasy en- Uneasy all the time. fer fear
/ IL.
the game. have seen fellerS afOre now
| who seriously objected to Stain
| whayre they wuz from, er even whayre
they fust saw the light of day. but
| fin'ly made it up to myself tibet no SIGH
! Teller lived in the Tail-hOlt deestrict,
en- concluded to let things perceed.
| couldent see aney real danger ahead, en-
l thort tibet the purfessor had all the
reSkS to run anyway.
The purfesSer explained how the
! match wuZ to be conducted. He said
tibet about the easies' way he knOwed
! wuz to choose up ever body in the
house tibet 'ud take part jiSt ez eff they
! W1z a-gOin' to choose up en- spell down
/ in the Ole-faShiOned way, en- then keep
! tally on the diffrunt pints made. en-
announce the result. AFTER this Wuz
done onct it 'ud be tried agin, but in a
diffrunt way with two others a-ehOOS-
|
structiOn en- amusement, but in time
| I'D let ever'One know Whayre ever one
else WuZ from, en- hep EN- TO get
| akWainted.
The plan of this jogafy match wuz
about ez follers: He had arranged AL
| the states in the Union en- all the ter
ritories out of the Union in alphabetical
order. from Alasky to Whyomeing; en-
he said tibet aney person horned in a
/ CT 70 MY re
/ fer his side ez the number wuz corre-
| spOndin' to tibet state on the list. So 4
! Teller from Alasky 'ud count only one
pint en- the feller from WhyOmeing 'ud
count fifty En- ever Teller horned in
aney country in Europe I'D count a
hunderd. in Asia two hunderd, in At
riky one HUNDRED en- fifty. Australee
two HUNDRED en- fifty. en- so on. He
had it all fggered out in nice shape.
en- the purfesSer air shore a genius. I
wush we had i'm fer mex winters
school, but we could pay him only SIS
a month. en- 1 expec' he's a-makin'
mOren thet in real estate.
'Wull, arter all the preeliminaries
WuZ settled he called out DOllie FudgeS
en- Sallie Homer to choose up; en- they
| chose up ever'O in the house. Nary
! Teller thayre axed to be excused, which
wuz shore to the great credit of Tail
/ holt deestrict. It wuz funny to watch
| the gals ez they wuz a-choosin' up.
! They both seemed to think tibet the
| older a Teller looked. the more pintS he
! would count uD, en- the way they went
arter the ole foxes wuz a caution. 1t
didn't take EN- long to sort out ever
body in the house, old en- young, big
en- little. male en- female. clean down
! to leetle Charley Marvin. the hump
| back.
Things got so quiet We could hear
! the men a-chawin' theyr terbacker, ez
the gals en- the purfesser begun TO fig