The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1900-09-25
DINKELSPIEL
Goes Out Speelbinding With His
Olt College Chump, Mike
Hanna.
New York Journal.1


Veil, now / was vot you call fairst-
class politicianer.
haf been ouid in Indiana speelbind-
ing NIT my olt college chump, Mike
Hanna.
Ach, himmel! vot speller und vot a
binder dot fellow, Mike, is alretty!
Ven Mike chumps ub on a dry goots
| boz and ubsets his eloquence abouid
der trusts der peoples look NIT pride ad
| him NIT vun eye und keep der udder eye
glued on deir pocketbooks.
| Ven Mike speaks abouid der Philly-
peanuts islands der peoples belief efery
word he says and den apologies to
demselfs afterwards.
| We opened der first speelbinding ad a
place called Icepick, Indiana. Der ved-
der vas cool. Because some vun forgot
to build der town hall We hat to speel-
bind ouid in der street.
| Veil, any way, Mike chumped ub in
| der cart und I sat down on der pump,
und den der spellbindery vas working
full blast.
Ladies und clients. fellow cidizens
und cubble uf cows vich I see in der
distance: greet you" Dot vas der
| way Mike opened der bindery. II am nod
such a muchness as talker, bud
know ware to raise three or four dollars
dot can carry on der best conversation
you efer listened ad. tCheers und cries
uf prove id!"1
Mike paid no attention to dis ouidcry
und he continuationed: I've vas now
confronted NIT three great evils. Der
fairst is der Demmykritic party; der
second is election day, und der third
is a friend uf mine by der name If Tetty
Roozlfelt.
felt.
Der Demmykritic party is der great
est evil dot has efer been handed down
from cheneration to cheneration. ii
sids down to subber ad der vitals uf
our liberty. Ven der Republican party
sneaks up to der national hen coop der
Demmykritic party is always hiding be-
hind der barn NIT musket full Of
rock salt vich We are obliged to carry
away in our seat uf guffernment. A
bas dis evil! IA cheer from chenille
man behind der pump, who woke ub on
purpose to make id.]
Der second evil Is worse und more OF
i'd. Election day is vun uf der worst
evils der Republican party has to COLI
tend NIT. loud applause.] II We could
abolish dis election day evil Kinley
Mack could stay in der Vite House as
long as I Wished i'd und I would nod be
ouid here cracking my palate trying to
get some bargain counter votes.
[Other applause.]
i AS I confidenced to you before, der
third evil Is a friend uf mine py der
name uf Tetty Roozlefelt. He Is now
ouid here in der vest somevare. eating
his way into der hearts uf der peoples,
und chewing ub der conventionalities
uf civilization. Intense eggscitement
from vun uf der hearers because he
believed he knew vot Mike vas talking
abouid bud could nod prove id.l
Vun day vile Titty vas Walking
through Ter busy saree.s uf Tommy
hawk City, I. T., e met a prominencer
among der citizenships uf dot place
His name vas Man-Afraid-To-M Miss HIS
Breakfast. Tetty stopped him und
made vun uf der best speeches UT der
campaign. Large eggscitement una
applause.1
"Tetty spoke abouid der Monroe doc
tors und der decentralization uf silver
as compared to der ratio uf keeping der
gold standard in der pockerts uf der
: trusts, vich is a sound principle. Man
pleased NIT der speech. Ven i'd conclus-
: ioned he set to Tetty, I like der words
YOU use.' he set. 'Dey look vell,' he set
/. 'und will vent home and tell mother,
!. he set, Il dink mother also will be pleas
ed. Could you unbuckle a cigaroot?
he set.
"Tetty vas face alongside uf face init
crisis. I do nod wish your kind ap'
plause,' set Tetty: 'vot I wish Is your
yote.' an-Afraid- To- Miss His Break
! fast laughed such painful giggling
, Vent back TO der Vite Father he set
in der vite house., he set, 'und ask del
Vite Father wy he took my vote unc
handed id to dem yellow-covered tree
!, climbers in der Phillypeanuts Islands,
he set. loud calls for der author
"Tetty chumped back in an astoriish'
: ment. Ware am IT. set Tetty. You va:
! nit der Injuns, bud We forgif you freely,
set Man Afraid To Miss His Breakfast
Tetty let vun yell ouid uf him und nefe,
! stopped running until he reached del
. nearest state. [Cries uf "Uncore! Un'
! core"]
"In his enthusiasm to grab efery VOTE
!, in der vest Tetty hat wandered into del
I Indian territory, und before he found Il
e ouid he spent 368, 900 virds vich he NIGH
. haf safed ub for a rain day. Den h'
made der discofery vich spoke abouid
j loud calls for Chrisduffer Columbus.
"Tetty found ouid from a chentiemar
lin Idaho dot Villum Chenning'
: Bryan vunce played base ball
Dare Is der greatest discofer!
e dat efer kissed der Republican
party on der forehead. Dink uf Id
ladies and chentlemens. fellow cidizen
Z und der COW. dink uf ID! We haf foun'