The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-03-15
EXCERPTS.

INSIIli 80
The story is told of an intoxicated
man coming out of saloon in Spirit
Lake recently, and carrying comfort
able jag, he fell upon the sidewalk.
He was unable to rise. A bright and
sharp eyed miss was passing about
this time and thought struck her,
and she opened the door of the saloon
and said: Mister, your sign has
fallen down. The proprietor came
to the door aud Immediately recognized
that truthful point had been made at
his xpense.-Fairmon Independent.
+ +
Rev. w. F. Sitter w. Cation, N. Y
writes, 81 had dyspepsia over twenty years,
and tried doctors and medicine without bene
fit. was persuaded to use Kodol Dysper-
STA Cure and it helped me from the start.
i believe it to be pancea for all forms of in
digestion" II digests what you eat.
Hanson & Emerson.
Too Serious
In case of an assault by husband
on his wife the injured woman was re-
luctant to prosecute and give her evil
dence.
I'm Pave it to God, Me Lord, !" she
= cried. " #@
''Oh, dear, no!'' said the Judge.
''It's far too serious matter for that.
The Green Bag.
!. !. 4.
A Question Of Understanding
Mrs. O'Mara-Sure, sor, an yez
towld me this clock was Frinch."
Jeweler,-Isn't it?
Mrs. O'Mara Thin how the divil
can Patunderstand the tonne from it,
The jewelers. Weekly. a.--
81 used Ko1olDyspepsi, Cure in my FAM
lily with wonderful results. 1t gives imme-
date relief is pleasant to take and is truly
the dyspeptic.s best friend" says E. Hart
.gerink, Overisel, Mich. Digests what you
eat. Cannot fail to cure. Hanson & Emer-
son.
= !. +
Sunday School Teacher-Now, boys.
what would you say if you had been
Lot fleeing from the burning city OF
Sodom, and you had seen your wife
stop and look back?
Little Boy at End of Class-Rubber!
The Boston Transcript.
/. /. i
1t is verya hard to stand idly by and see
our loved ones suffer while awaiting the |
arrival of the doctor. An Albany IN. WI
dairyman called at drug store there for a
doctor to come and see his child, then very
sick with the Group. Not finding the doctor |
in, he left word for him to come at once on
his return. He also,bought bottle of Cham
berlain's Cough Remedy. which he hoped |
would give some relief until the doctor should |
arrive. In a few hours he returned, saying |
the doctor need not come, as the child was
much better. The druggist. Mr., Otto
Scholz, says the family has since recommend
ed Chamberlain's Cough Remedy to their
neighbors and friends until he has constant |
demand tor it in that par. OF the country. |
For sale by Hanson & Emerson.
1. i. i.
The Moral Of The Moral Play /
"What is the moral of such plsy?"
asked the shocked individual who had |
:. never seen an imported drama of that
kind before.
1.-THE moral, said the hardened
playgoer, struggling his shoulders,
sis this: The worse it is the better it |
pays" The Chicago Tribune.
... I. I. I. -,
We have saved many doctor bills since
we began using Chamberlain Cough Re M |
edy in our home. We keep bottle open
all the time and whenever any of the family
or myself begin to catch cold we begin to
use the Cough Remedy, and as a result we
never have to send for the doctor and
incur large doctor bill, for Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy never fails to cure. 1t is GER
q, tainly a medicine of great merit and worth.
ID. S. Mearkle, General Merchant and Far
mer, Matte, Bedford county, Pa. For sale
by Hanson & Emmerson. ..
=. & ... .r
T It is stated that capitalists, banks,
trusts and insurance companies, have
combined in New York to make a loan
of $4,000, 900 to-a large Russian rail-
road company, the bonds to be guar
anteed by the.government. The money
is all to be.spent in this country for
IRON, locomotives, etc.
i. + !.
Mr.. Crimso nbeak-Why, my dear,
) the house is like an icebox.
Mrs Crims onbeak-Yes 1 know it,
I'm not going to have you go to the
club and tell.the boys roast you every
time you come home.-The New Yonk-
ers Statesman.
i. i. =
Mrs Calvin Zimmerman, Milesburg Pa,
says,ssAs speedy cure for coughs, colds,