The Southern herald., 1900-08-17

fits could bestow upon my kith ant
kin. That dream has ended as dreams
do-suddenly, My riches have takeT
to themselves wings l remember
with pleasure the many professions o.
affection from you all-yes, all
without a single exception. Thost
presents which you see on the side
board'-here everyone mentally tot
ed up what his own contribution hat
| cost.
" "'Those presents are, as you know
souvenirs of your affectiOnate regarC
and remembrances on my birthdays
l will treasure them as they deserve
to be treasured. | am about to tr,
the experiment, a painful one at ny
age, Of existing on go per annum
instead Of on nearly as many hun
dreds. But l fell confident that sucl
affection as you have always showr
me, and such solioitude for my health
was not prompted by mercenary mo-
tives. Ny declining days will bt
solaced, even under my grievously al.
tered circumstances, by my relatives
who will, | am sure, entertain me, in.
stead of their being entertained
"The assembled relations gasped
with astonishment at the first few
sentences, but before Uncle Jerry
concluded his speech, and he was in
no hurry, l assure you, they had re-
covered themselves sufficiently tc
applaud in the right places and tc
utter the usual platitudes at the end.
"Auld Lang Syne' was sung rath.
er hurriedly, and We drew a long
breath Of relief when we were outside
the house, A small indignation meet
ing was held round the corner, but
hot as we we're in Indignation, the
weather was too cold for outside dec.
lamation, SO it was broken up as a
futile waste of energy, and we dis
persed to our respective homes.
Gas to myself" continued Neyil,
81 was as mad as any of them, but as
my wife and l were walking along
our street l was suddenly struck with
the notion that it might be a plant
You see, sir, am great reader, and
in novels and those short stories
which one reads in the evening papers
rich old uncles have a habit of spring
ing these surprises on their poor rela-
tioDs at such festive gatherings in or
der to test the genuineness Of their
professed affection"
| remarked that had read Of such
tests.
"Well, sir, l stopped and danced on
the pavement until my wife caught
hold Of my arm and said: Sam, are
you drunk or mad? You'll have a
crowd round us in a minute
Mad, Sally! Not l. set
through the artful old hypocrite',
dodge. It's the old, old joke and
explained matters TO her.
"Next morning | called to see Bah
blecombe, of the Northern Shires
bank, where Uncle Jerry has his ac-
count, and told him my suspicious.
Babblecombe is under an obligation
to me, which l need not specify, and
although this made him inclined to
answer my question, the fear Of the
bank act prevented his going into de-
tails. At last, after lot Of consid-
Grafton, he said: Nevil, you place me
in an awkward predicament; you
know as well as / do that your queS-
tions are irregular. But as l wish to
do YOU a turn, l will tell you that |
think there is every probability of
your being right in your surmises.'
"I could not get anything more
definite from him than that, although
l tried hard enough. The upshot was
that l farmed Uncle Jerry for all l
was worth, and more, for l had to
borrow money to cover increased ex-
penditure. / first had him TO stay
with us at Brixton, and then took him
as part of the family to Margate, when
we went for our holiday, paying all
his expenses and keeping him sup
piled with tobacco, and he smokes
no small amount.
"Well, this went on for some time,
and although the others knew what
l was doing, not a soul stepped for
ward TO help the old man. Not that
l cared, for quietly chuckled at hav-
ing outwitted them.
"Under proper circumstances, that
is, according to novelists and story
writers, l should have been rewarded
by a handsome check, and ultimate
" been his sole heir when he died, but
no such luck for me.
"Sudderly one morning, about q