The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1900-04-04
CHATS AND SKETCHES
About Town and Elsewhere.

The late DIR. Forbush was an excel
lent rdconte,tr, which we believe is
French for story-teller. Here is one
of his stories which some of our read
ers may remember;
Two boys begged off from church
one Sunday morning, and were given
permission TO stay at home, II they
would promise "not to NEEDLE with the
calves" (There were two unbroken
steers in the barn-yard). OF course
they promised, and of course they
"meddled." Perhaps, but for their
promise they would never have thought
of them.
AS soon as the cold people" were
out of sight, the two boys went out to
the barn-yard, and finding a small
yoke, set about breaking their promise
and the steers. One of the steers
wouldn't submit to be yoked, and so
the younger boy was persuaded by his
brother to be "Ihe other calf" He had
hardly got bis neck into the yoke, when
"the other" ran off taking his "mate"
with him, up the street towards the |
church. Just as the pair reached the |
sacred edifice they met the congrega-
ton coming out. "For Gods SAX,
stop usl" shouted the terrified youth.
The boys father and one of the dea
cons, at the risk of their lives, succeed
ed in arresting the pair in their mad |
career, when the boy cried out, "Un-
yoke the other calf. I'll standl"
Which reminds US of the man who |
was driving 1.-TWO year-old" to market, |
with rope attached to the latter's |
horns. To avoid dropping his end OF
the rope, he tied it fast around his
body. The animal broke into a run,
and the driver was making better time |
than he had ever done before, when he |
met friend in the road, who cried out
as he passed, "Joshl where on alrth yer
goin'7" 81 Dunno" answered the lat
ter; "aek the steer"
1t is always risky trying experiments,
especially in medicine. To illustrate
the danger of experiments generally,
Chauncey Depew tells the following:
little Willie, from the mirror
Licked the mercury all off,
Thinking in his childish error,
1t would cure his whooping cough.
Blandly said to Mrs. Brown,
Twas chilly day for Willie
When the mercury went down"
~.
'Come and dine with me tonight,
old fellow, will you?" "Can't; am 60
ing to see Hamlet" "Well go and
bring your friend with you. Would
like to meet him."
First darkey: 81 was gwine to de
depo' de udder day. Second darkey:
"Hol' on dar; dat amt de erect pro-
nounciation!" "Well, deepo', den."
"No, dat amt right" swell, what's
de matter wild Daypo'?" "Dat's wus-
SER" swell, Dee-pot!" "Nol""Well.
pronounce it yourselfl" "It's Depe,o!
See?"
One should always be sure of him
self, especially when pronouncing
words from foreign language.
"Where are you stopping now9" said
Jones to Brown as they met on Broad
way. cat the st. Cloud" (pronounc.
ing it to rhyme with loud). "For
heavens sake, don't do that again."
says Jones, "say St. Cloo." Next
day Brown went to his bankers, who
said, "Glad to see you. Where yer
stopping?" CAT st. Cloo," answered
Brown. "Come off yer perchl" said
the banker; "that may do in Boston,
but here in New York we talk plain
English" Much distressed, Brown
met friend on Wall street: "Brown,
want to see you this evening. Where
yer stopping?" "Blanked if know!"
He ought to have been sure of him
self and stuck to it. Some men are
never sure of themselves.
".
The writer once heard lecture on
"Irish Bulls" A few of these may
amuse our readers.
Not all "bulls" are bred and born in
Ireland. Some have been handed
down from the ancients. They are to
be found in all languages.
The following resolutions were pass
ed by an American council: