Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1900-12-06
A HOG In PANTS
ny WRIGHT A. PATTERSON.

man nature TO crop out. / said human
rature. but ] should have added animal
nature as well. II is the humanity IN a
mans body that suggests the giving OF the
last seat in the car to lady; 1t is the animal
that tramples all before him under foot IN
rush to secure the last seat, regardless Of the
rights Of others ahead OF him.
/ / saw an instance Of the "hog IN pants
not long ago that amused as well as ais
| gusted me | was riding in the parlor car
| Of a train bound for Chicago. 1t was over
a road which does not take special pans TO
provide for the comfort of its patrons, and
/ which looks more for the dimes and dollars
than for its reputation among the travelling
public.
The particular train on which was tray
| cling is made up Of a number OF worn out
| coaches as near comfortless as II Is possible
| for railway coach to be, and that means
much Besides these coaches, OF which
there are usually not less than eight or nine,
there Is also one lone parlor car Of an anti
| ouated type, but so much superior to the
coaches that despite the additional charge
for riding in it it is always well patronlzed.
The train officials, acting under the orders
of the greedy corporation, permit the puDllc
| 10 crowd into this one parlor car Just as long
as there is standing room, and all who ae-
cept Of this opportunity must pay the ADDED
cost of transportation, whether they secure
seats or not.
Such were the conditions on the day
when | was compelled to patronize this road
and train 10 get into Chicago The parlor
car was already crowded when station
1 y. a. F.4s.t lta 4rfN
reached. and half dozen more passengers
boarded the crowded car. Among them was
hashiy dressed man that | often see IN the
city, for have reason to pass his place OF
business practically every day, and had no
ticed him soliciting trade from hts store
doorway.
This parlor car does not boast Of special
conductor to look after the comfort Of q
patrons, and on the inbound trains tIcketa
are not sold for 1t. The train conductor col
lects the additional fare, and, evidently to
preclude the possibility Of claims against the
road for a noniulfllment Of contract, pas
sengers are not given checks showing them
to be entitled to a seat in the car Judging
from that which ] saw on this ride the only
way to keep the seat which you have paid for
is to glue yourself To- it.
The hashily dressed animal Of whom
have spoken paid to the train conductor the
% cents that would permit him to ride m the
parlor @ car to Chicago and stood IN the
aisle directly in front Of lady who occupied
chair. He was seemingly satisfied with
his bargain, but l. for one at least, felt IN
chned 10 criticise the road for not proyid-
ing the accommodations for which they were
l. 81 hot hay
should not have taken his money unless
they could provide the chair for which he
had paid
A few minutes after the conductor had
visited the car the lady in question lett her
chair to secure something from her grip
few feet distant Before she was fairly out
of her chair the animal in front OF her was
in it. At the moment the lady paid no at
tention to him, but secured what she wanted
from her grip and then returned and took a
position directly in front of the animal, and
liked her piercing black eyes upon him.
Everybody in the car was instantly inter
ested They knew that something was com
ing; whether it was to be a comedy or trag-
edy none could tell The animal in the chair
did not make move; he kept his eyes fixed
upon the landscape outside the car window
Just as long as he could, but the piercing eyes
Of the lady, and the steady gaze which she
had riveted upon him, had their effect, and
he looked up at her.
"What do you want?' he asked
Nothing at all, replied the lady.
"Well, what are you looking at me for,
them"
Il was wondering how much you
weighed
Two hundred and ten pounds, replied
the animal, swelling out his chest, and not
realizing into what a trap he was leading
himself
"And now may | ask the breed?'
'Do you mean my nationality
ooh, no, just the breed You are too
common looking for a Berkshire, and too fat
for a razor back / wondered what you
could be"
Madame, will not be insulted!"
"That would be impossible, but the thing
that puzzles me is why your owners should
be willing to pay high-prieed transportation
on one Of the common drove. If you were
prize stock | should not have wondered so
much at ii, but as it is | am afraid you are
out Of place here, and | shall have to ask
the conductor to remove you TO a stock car.
She leaned over him and pushed the but
ton for the porter before he had realized
what she was doing When that function
airy came she requested him to call the con
ductor, and though the animal protested
that it was not Necessary, that there was
nothing for him to settle, the conductor
| came
The lady explained that she had paid for
chair in the car from the station at which
she had got on the train into Chicago, that
the animal before her had appropriated the
chair at the first opportunity, and that she
desired him removed. and that she be put in
possession Of the seat for which she had
paid
Let her show her ticket for this seat"
yelled the animal
That, Of course, was impossible, as the
road had carefully guarded against just such
emergencies and issued none
IF she hasn't a ticket, then the seat is
rhine as much as it is hers" protested the
animal. 81 paid for a seat as well as she
did
The conductor scratched his head while
be thought of a way out Of the difficulty
(Which Of you was on the car first?" ht
asked.
That makes no difference yelled tn,
animal.
let me see" continued .he conductor