davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-03-11

=
Of Sunshine When Jackson returned
to the Hermitage Sunshine" went with
him. - ~
Speaking of her life there. Mrs. Will
cox says: when Jackson retired to the
Hermitage he received many newspa pers
by the daily stage. He had box on the
road, some distance from the house, and
: the stage always stopped there to de-
liver his mail. Some of the newspapers
sent to him were still unfriendly he
d told us which papers did not like him,
and that we were not Ito bring them to
him. Il asked him what We should do
with them, and che replied: oh. make
kites out Of Them and that was what
we did. =
When Mr.. Donelson was appointed Min
lister to Prussia by President Polk his
children went abroad with him. They
returned from Europe in 1851. and soon
after Sunshine" married General John
H Wilcox, then member of Congress
from mississippi. The wedding was to
have been in the White House, but it was
learned that the town had turned out to
see the event, and her father forbade the
ceremony at the mansion. It occurred
in her fathers house, which stood on the
site now occupied by the National The
atre Her husband was afterward in
Congress from Texas, and during the war
was a senator IN the ittlcnInond GOVeTH-
! ment. and died in the Confederate capital
before the close Of the conflict
Mrs. Wilcox has always had the friend
ship and esteem of every Administration
since the termination Of that Of Jackson.
Grant appointed her translator of the
Post Office Department at one time
she lost her place on account of poifsi-
clans, who called her a rebel. - When
Arthur became President he reinstated
her placing her in the Treasury Depart
| ment where she remained until two years
ago. Then she resigned for the purpose.
as she stated it, ito devote myself to
literature I want to write a history Of
the noted men and women Of Washing
ton, Of the time when knew them.
IT know Lam not young. she adds,
butt am not as cid as some people
whom meet in the street-cars think I
am
Mrs Wilcox is said to be one Of the
| best whist players in Washington. and
her home is the scene CT frequent rub
bers She has played with all the nota-
BILE whist experts, and with all Oft the
prominent men Of her time. She relates
with animation many of the incidents OF
games at which the statesmen OF her
time appeared.
| Mrs Wilcox has been resident of
Washington since the death Of her hus-
band. Her children. a son and daush-
ter. live with her. She has always been
a welcome guest at the White House in
all Observation-Disclosures York Sun.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-03-11
SENSE OF HUNOR
OF SOME PEOPLE
Funniest Things That Ever Came
Under Their Notice.
GOVERNOR TYLER WAS TICKLED.
Secretary Brent Tells Good One, and
Col. Murphy Has Laughed Tor
Twenty-Five Ycars-Ma yor Tay-
lor's Funny Experience.

There are few people on this mundane mundane
sphere who sadly lack an appiicable
sense Of humor. These few people mere
~ exist: they do not live There is no
sunshine in their existence, and the
gloomy shadow of discomfort hangs over
them.
but the large majority of people revel
sn sense of hu1nor They carry happ!-
ness around with them ready to give it
ont at tho slightest proyocation, and
their. pathway is one OF roses. iheS can
see the humorous side of everything. anu
even laugh when man falls off bicycle
and breaks his arm.
Some peoples wits are keener than
others. Take Col. John Murphy, for in
stance he can see joke mile OIL
The funniest thing I ever saw or
heard" he said, was about twenty-five
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-03-11

the perfection OF hurnor. 1t happened
many years ago in the good cid county
Cd Accolnac, but he smiles over il yet:
There was a young fellow down there .
he said, who was in love with young
lady. as most all young fellows happen to
be once in awhile.
CoolcSG DOVES.
The young lady apparently loved Kim
and they We're considered a pair of cooling
doves. There were no rivals on either
side. for the young man was about as
honey as yon make them, and the sweet
young thing was sans teeth, having lost
them all through some cause or Other
They Just sat and cooed and cooed for
hours at a tina.
One day a bright idea got tangled up
in the mind of the young fellow He
went to Baltimore and, by purely guess
work, he paid his cold cash for COM
adored one. Luckily they fitted the gums
OF the sweet young thing. and the ,addi-
ton to her personal appearance made of
her something of a belle in the country
lie was happy-and so was she. But a
fearful blast was destined to dissioate
,hedg' air castles and their prospects of
future bliss We're doomed to be shatter-
ed. Other suffers doomed up with more
striking and handsome appearances. and
AZ WAS iot ionS before Iie E121fe ladyc7 s
heart vas transferred to another.
The false teeth had done their work
and the faithful swain was in despair.
Gimme back my teeth.n he demanded.
az Will not she said.
q and in little passage4at-a,1ns the
young knights fingers were bitten by
the false teeth Of the false one. He cid
not get the teeth back, and the girl mar
lied another
70 10 RAISE WINDOWS
Major b. It. Howard has a few good
1 ones that sas' tells while deeply engaged
In n game .. rninoes.
..i3ut the funniest thing 1 ever heard. =
ne said. WAS the remark made al the
Academy not long ago. when one OF the:
4 characters In the play. said she was going
to throw broken glass out In the yard
this spring. SO she could I raise windows
mkt 81 e.
Ana then he crowd said We heard
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-03-11
! a soldiers Christ mas Dream.

IT'S night before Christmas, and out on
the carpet
A little tin soldier is dreaming of morn.
An! this night a year ago, now he re-
members,
He came with a wagon, a train. and a
horn
! (All labelled ..for Johnny in Santa.
Claus's packet.
A bright and unbent little bit OF a toy.
But days have gone round him since
Johnny first found him
And taught him the battering bent Of
a boy.
One eye has been shaved from It's hollow
tin socket:
One foot was cut off when the train
had a wreck, > 5f.s
! And one day, while storming asfortiaed
table. e.
He fell from ladder and twisted his
neck. 800
An investigations from General Johnny
z He asked for-and got it-as usual, too
late, a
For hardship and duty had ruined his
And gave him q pensioners claim on the
State.
And yet the tin soldier-boy smiles in his
dreaming,
$5aF or San Ia VIII bring BABY Dottie q doll,
And slyly he plans that when Santa has
s left her
Hell creep up and kiss her-she Won't:
care at all
Alas! wha Santa Should leave the
sweet dolly ssts;s5
Head-nrst the stocking how will
The know s5ss
! Hush. lit tie he'll worry stead of her:
cherry ~
Red sllps,h he just kisses the doll pink
5s toe s s
Ss5s Coli III LesHess Weekly
A8nnion label for carnenter trtm-work
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-03-11

what you said. and filed out Of the
Majors presence.
Mayor Taylor can can tell funny stories
by the yard. &
The most amusing thing that ever hap
pcned, in my opinion he said. was
out at the Almshouse. was put down
for few remarks at an entertainment
I was very busy with city affairs at that
time. and I had taken about, ten minutes
to write down my extemporaneous re-
marks as had no time in which to
think out an extended speech:
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-03-11

Emperor, is too sensational.
He has friends in every nation. and
speaks German, French, Italian and Rus
sian.
He is feet inches tall and weighs
$50 pounds.
He has light gray eyes, gray
beard, a brown complexion and .
bald head
His hands and feet are small and
neat. .
He is 81 years old, and has four, grand
children
He is f,xd of Irishmen, Frenchmen.
Germans and Russians.
He is fond of all kinds OF people. es-
pec,aIy if they have money.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-03-11
tn th,. land OF the Gear.

.yrhat no. within there... shouted tht
traveller in Fsussin SIS this an inn
No. gleeful,y chuckisti ths gentleman e
that came to the door. This IS q Ssseal,,
and he laid It; across the so1oarn1ssr's
Press.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-03-11
"FARE .PLEASEv' 4
The trolley car conductor
Needs not to. so to college;
die needs no sage instructor
For his take-nickel knowledge.
MAN AND BOY


mo sir! No more meat, declared little
Willie's father; when boys your age
start eating they never know when they've
had enough.
Il guess replied Willie, .twhen grow
to be big like you l won't be 50 hungry
'tNo. | don't think you will
But I'll be thirsty. won't I? Aunt Nell
lie was telling ma yeserd'y that when
you start urinFin' you never know when
You have enough
ETERNAL HOPE.
"Ah.' he sighed, may not hope that
You will be mine forever and forever
Yes she replied softly, you may
hope that long il you wish
DicErEST IGNOKNACE
IT'S said: Where ignorance is bliss
'Tis folly to be wise
How blissful then, the business men
Who do not advertise!
NO DANGER.
Miss Anteek-'I wonder if there really
are microbes in kisses?''
Miss Pechis-"I don't see why that
should worry you anyway. You're an i:..
mune.''
ROTS'DEAu
To hold her hand that summer night
J. strove, against her. sweet alright.
She let one dainty finger-tip
a moment rest upon my ZIP
To thrill me with a new delight.
Then. when we stood our love to plight,
Our hearts in wediock to unite,
How sweet my sense of ownership.
To hold her hand.
u g.
Long years have come, and taken flight:
Tonight Tn sad and wretched quite.
This weeping eye and swollen lip
Shed not have swtped me such a clip,
Had hut exercised my might
To hold her hand! IT A. D
Catholic Standard and Times
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-03-11
jest and Jingle.
WOULD SPOIL IT.

Dear remarked the poets wife.
breaking in upon his muse, "wno do you
suppose called today
= II don't know he replied rather short
~.
- Cant You Think she persisted.
'.Gracious.' he snapped, '"how do You
expect me to think now? I'm writing a
sonnet for the .l1ighcut Ma azine.' -
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-03-11

& a union label 3 forsca tiers work
been adopted and regis
tered Secret ~ Estate
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-03-11

was a curl which he cut from the head
Of Sunshine When Jackson returned
to the Hermitage Sunshine went with
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-03-11

Looked up to as such. We hold the key to thest
changing stocks Of changing seasons are now
A look over the stock discloses all there is to
and most beneficial means IN tle.world to buy &
YOU needn't say. you want the goods charged IN
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22
A Persiau Romance,

A Persian plaque in the South Ken
sington museum, London, bears by
means of clever relief and brilliant
color romantic tale, part legend and
part history. Nobody knows the pro-
portion of each. At any event, it is
declared to be an incident in the life of
Baharam V. of the Sassanian dynasty.
Baharam, according to legend and
plaque, was a wonderful archer. Dur
ing one of his hunting expeditions, on
which his favorite wife had accompa-
MED him, he shot a sleeping antelope
with such precision as to Craze the an
imal's ear. The antelope awoke, and,
believing himself annoyed by fly, put
his hind hoof to his ear to strike, of
the fly. A second arrow sent by the
royal hand fixed the antelope's hoof: to
his horn. The kings wife merely said
Practice makes perfect, which touch
ed the pride of her royal spouse. In
deed, as the penalty for her plain
speaking, she was sent out into, the
mountains to perish, but instead found
shelter in village. Here she lodged
in an upper room assembled by twenty
steps, and, having bought calf. car.
ried it up and down every day.. The
king, passing by four years LATER. was
amazed at seeing young woman car
rying COW up flight of twenty steps
The lady again took occasion to re.
mark, Practice makes perfect, where.
upon she unveiled, was recognized anl
restored to favor.-London Leader.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22
Historic House Sold.

Willie Webbs. Enfield. is to come I'M
der the hammer on the last day of this
month. In 1870 Queen Elizabeth
granted old White Webbs House to
her physician, Robert Huicke, and
Guido Fawkcs" stated in his confess
sion that Father Garnet took the house
from ''Dr. Hewicke'' The house
gained it's greatest notoriety in con-
npction with the gunpowder plot, and
a carnival is held every year on the
9th of November in the district.
Fawkes staid at the house with the
conspirators from the Wednesday till
the Sunday before his arrest on No
vember 4. 1905, and it is during that
period that Harrison Ainsworth makes
his romantic marriage take place in
the forest with Tiviand Radcliffe, the
heroine i'll his Guy Fawkes." This
forest is part Of the original Enfield
Chase. Il portion of which is included
in the estate Of about fifty acres
IOndOI. Leader
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22

had to read in the afternoon newspa-
pers the lurid accounts Of how the
bank had been robbed Of cash and
securities 'approxinatiag 100000 in
amount and grind his teeth and cuss.
The banks failure was announced q
few days later.
1.-TWO months after that it fell to my
lot to handcuff myself to this top
notch craftsman and to take him up
the river on Central train. One o:
the indictments against him was press
ed for some reason or other, and he
got fve-year stunt. l was taking
him to Auburn for his stretch. The
craftsman looked idly out of the Wiz
dow at the thro-gs around the sta
tions where the train stopped. AT
one of the stations, about an hours run
from New York, noticed his face sud
denly darken with rage, and l asked
him what was up. He pointed out a
slick looking man who was sitting
in dog-cart beside the station, and
he cursed him in blood-curdling way
for two minutes before he was able to
tell me the story I've told you fellows.
The man in the dog-cart was the cash
Ter who was crafty enough to pull 1t
all ever one of the most accomplished
all-around crooks in the western hem
ispherc. The failure Of the bank had
MT hurt the cashier at all in the esti-
nation of his townsmen. Bank was
robbed by craftsmen, y'see, and how
could the cashier help it?
"Well, didn't sec that it was up to
me to say anything about what the
cracksman had told me, although fire.
quently saw the cashier flying high in
New York after that I lost track OF
him in a few years, however, and con-
cluded that he had struck out for the
west or somewhere or another with his
beautifully contrived rake-down from
his bank. He was the emaciated, pal
sled old vag saw in the Jefferson
Court while back
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22
etc., and, apparently, had once been

ETC., and, apparently, had once been
used as a sort Of store room.
This is our plant" remarked Dirk,
delightedly. could scarcely be better
for our purpose. We've only got to
lock the door from the inside, bore a
couple of holes, as suggested by our
smart young friend here, and we'll see
and hear al. that goes on splendidly.
Billy, my lad, just take your boots Off
and slip up into the hail. so as to be
able to warn us should you hear a
latch-key in the front door, will you?"
''All right, guv'ner," said the boy,
with longing look at the augur. "I'll
keep cavey. If you hear cat miaow-
ing up stairs, douse the glim right
away and lock the door,"
What about yourself?" I inquired.
well, I'd rather get back here. of
course" he replied, "but l mightn't get
down fast enough. specially in the
dark. Besides. faint no dead certain
ty rs they'll meet down here at all this
time. There's caps of other rooms up
stairs. SO I'll just 'ang about on the
stairs. and perhaps dodge down later
Gu. same as afore. So, go ahead with
your holes. guv'ner."
81 don't believe that lad will hang.
after ALL growleu Dirk. as the boy dis
appeared, noiselessly. 'He could see
and hear everything safely by remain
ing With us, and yet he's taking big
risk up stairs, upon the off-chance Of
being useful. There's grit in him, sir!'
| thought so. too. and registered a
mental memo. very considerably to
Billy's subsequent advantage. Mean
while, Dirk had got his augur at work,
from the kitchen side Ito insure clean,
unsplintercd holesl. and our peep-holes
were speedily made. There was the
risk. of course, that they would be ~
ticed: but this risk, such as it was, hao
to be taken. Then we stacked the con-
tents of the room in Il corner, so as to
allow ourselves elbow room without
danger of upsetting anything, and, ex-
tinguishing the lantern beforehand,
awaited the cat-call. Waiting under
such circumstances is an excellent test
alike of Il mans nerve and his temper,
and l must confess that the Dutch
mans racial phelegm gave him a
marked advantage / was becoming
quite irritable from eXcitemen5, wnen
the welcome feline Cry at length
reached our ears. and the watchfu)
Dirk had quickly locek us in.
\ minute later some one entered the
kitchen. which was thereupon illumin-
ated by an execrably-feeble hand:
lamp. This the newcomer placed on
the central table. and, as the light fell
upon bis face, was surprised to rec
ognize. not the stranger, but Mr.. Phil
ip Blake. "The master has come. in
csfo Il <f% :, L.
ference.
ITO Re ConffnunhA
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22
THE FRENcHMAN's CLUB.

His Resort Is the Cafe. Either for BUS
mess or Pleasure.
Those who have not lived in France
can form little idea OF the important
place the cafe occupies in the life OF an
average Frenchman. Clubs, as we
know them, or as they are used in Eng
land, are rare, and, when found. are,
with few exceptions, but gambling
houses in disguise. AS q Freuchman
rarely asks an acquaintance, or even a
friend, to his apartments, the cafe has
become, during the past fifty years, the
common ground where all meet, either
for business or pleasure. Net in Paris
only, but all over France, in every gar
rison town, provincial city, or tiny viii
lage, the cafe is the chief attraction.
the center of thought, the focus toward
which all the rays of masculine exist
ence converge For i'll Paris the stu
dent, newly arrived from the provinces:
living in furnished rooms, to whose
modest purse the thcaters and other
places of amusement are practically
closed, the cafe is a supreme resource.
His mind is nodded, his ideas and
opinions formed, more by what he
hears and sees there than by any other
influence His restaurant is of no i'm
portance He may eat anywhere, but
the choice of his cafe will often give
the bent to a young mans career. Ii
indicates to his acquaintance his ex-
act shade of politics and his opinions
on literature, music or art. In Paris
to know man at all is to know where
you can find him at the hour of the
aperitif-what Baudelaire called
"L'heure sainte de l'absinthe." When
young men form a society among
themselves an establishment of this
kind is chosen as their meeting place,
and thousands exist only by such pat
ronage, as, for example, the Cafe de
la Regence, Place du Theatre Francois.
which is frequented entirely by men
who play chess-From The Poetic Ca
barets of Paris" by Eliot Gregory, in
the January Scribner's.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22
What She Told Him.

The pastor Of church in Washing
ton, on leaving his study. which is in
the rear of the church, saw little girl
a friend Of his, talking to stranger.
What was that man saying to you,
Madge?" asked the minister, as he
came up to the little girl. "Oh. he just
wanted to know II DR.. C. was tho
preacher of this church" "And what
did you tell him?" II told him. she
said, with dignity. ''that you were the
present encumhrance."
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22
Produce Little Shock.

In North Africa all the wounded
men agree as to the very small amour,
of shock produced by the Mauser bull
let many stating that they went on
some distance after feeling that they
were hit. one man telling me that he
I'D not notice being hit at all until he
began to feel dizzy and found that he
had lost a lot Of blood. One notable
circumstance is that the vast majority
of the wounds are in the eXtremities.
This the men attribute to the wild
firing CT the Beers, and to the fact
that they were generally hit just at
;lle moment OF leaving or taking cover
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22
(Tc Be Continucd.)
Earnings Versus Salary.

There is in the employ of our
house." says Philadelphia salesman,
"A young man who is assistant book
keeper. He's steady chap, minds his
own business: and is as shrewd as
they make them. The other day the
senior partner Of the firm, who seldom.
rcn es around. made tour of inspec-
ton, and as he approached the assist
ant bookkceper he noticed the solemn
expression on his face. Desiring to
be congenial, he said
;" How are you. young man? l see
you are at your work. That is good.
Clase attention to business will always
bring its own reward. Tell me, what
are you earning now week?'
The young man. With a moments
hesitation. answered: Twenty dollars,
ST.. but ! only get half of that -
New York Tribune.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22
A New Motive Power

While one group of inventors is at
work on liquid air as a motive power,
with temperature enormously below
zero. another makes a claim of re-
narkable merits for superheated wa
ter in light ard heavy transportation.
The water is heated in upright steel
tubes to $50 degrees above the tenn
nerature Of steam in Il locomotive.
When released into an engine it ex-
paEds rearly LOCO times and performs
the services required of a storage pow.
ar.-IndianaDolis News.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22
Gatacre Had Gumption.

Gen. Gatacre, a day or two before
embarlsing, remarked to military
friend that our forces we're not by any
means going to an easy task in South
Africa. ut was no child's play in the
SouGan," said he, "but it will be stern
work against the Beers and 1 can tell
you that don't expect to be present
ut an unbroken succession of victories.
We shall win eventually by sheer per-
severance" London Daily News.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22
The Incomes of sovcreiuu.

Russia's Gar has an income of
$1,000 per hour, the Sultan $3.50, the
Emperor of Austria $500. the Kaiser
$3.50, the King Of Italy $3.50, Queen
Victoria the same, the French Prest-
dent $780, the King Of the Belgians
$S5 and the President of the United
States $3.50 per hour, Chicago News.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22

Despite his protests, insisted upon
seeing the worthy little Hercules into
cab and forcing Il half-crown into his
hand. felt upon good terms With
him. With myself and With all the
world: for. surely. never had such an
extraordinary stroke of luck ever be-
fallen inquiry agent as had resulted
from my visit to the Hampstead Road
show.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22

An Expurgating Typewriter.
Bobbs--I see that a man has invent
ed typewriter that you just sit down
and talk to and it writes out every
thing you say.
Dobbs-I guess I'll keep mine. She
doesn't write everything 1 say, and I'm
glad of it.-BaltimGre American.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22
Barnacles on Ocean Cables.

Barnacles on Ocean Cables.
The recent investigations for cable
laying in the Pacific Ocean have re-
bottom, they become encrusted with
seaweeds, heavy enough to break them.
This is like dyspepsia, which grows
until it breaks down the health Hos
letters Stomach Bitters will cure it, as
well as Indigestion, liver and kidney
troubles.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22
Uhfn1h11ed rr0.tra 1,1n,c,

made you people cool off SO suddenly
toward General Funston?
Native = WE'LL When he walked
through the city he used the bridges
instead Of swimming the streams
Baltimore American.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrrp.
For children teething, scftens the gums reduces In.
fammation allays PAIN wind collie. 25c bottle.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22

The Largest in the World.
Walter Baker & Co. Ltd. Dorchester, Mass, are
the largest Mfrs OF Cocoa and Chocolate In the world
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1900-02-22

DIR, j. HI. RINDLAUD. Specialist.
Eye; Ear, Nose and Throat.
Fargo, N. ID.