Mesa free press., 1900-04-27

Little girl Ito visltor)-Don't you
think l look just like mamma? Her
mother-Hush, dear; don't be vain.-
Ohio State Journal.
How do you feel about this move
ment to abolish bellsY 'T'm down on
the rising BELL but the dinner bell is all
right. Chicago Record.
The Suburban's Confessions: Hicks
Is it true, then, that you're living be-
yond your station? Wicks-Yes-two
miles.-Collier's Weekly.
"Daubs has painted dreadfully bad
picture. What shall say about itF"
"You can safely say it is full Of indi-
viduality. Chicago Record.
Voice from upstairs That young man
ought to be on his way home by this
time. Edith-He is, papa. He's got
as far as the hat-rack.-Puck.
II like variety in my eating" declar-
ed Sterlingworth. "And yet you posi-
lively refuse to eat hash," replied his
wife, with rebuke in her tone.-Detroit
Free Press.
"I'd like to ask you serious ques-
tion,"' said the young man. "Do you
believe in love" 'T do, indeed" was
the reply, "and am l to consider that
a proposal?"
"My mother found my little brother
putting his stockings on wrong side
out this morning." Eyes? What did
she do" Turned the hose on him.
Harvard Lampoon.
Boer Child-Father, If were carry
ing the Bible in one hand and gun
i'm the other, and an enemy approached,
which should drop first? Boer Faith
er-The enemy, my son.-Puck.
'I suppose you favor peace between
the British and the Boers," he said.
.;'No," frankly replied the packing
house proprietor, II do not. Not SO
dong as / can get orders to supply the
British army"
She-We discussed the greenback at
our study club to-day. He-Well, what
did you decide? She-That the Gov
ernment should either issue currency In
All the going tints or else not at ALL
Brooklyn Eagle.
81 think there is lesson to be
learned from that novel," said Willie
Washington. $50 do l." answered Miss
Cayenne; 'it taught me better than to
read any more books by that author"
Washington Star.
LADY, think you are the worst
looking tramp I ever saw. Tramp
Ma'am, it's only in the presence of un-
common beauty looks 50 bad. Lady
to eat.-CasselPs Magazine.
81 notice that the Austrian inventor
who claims to have practical flying
machine says that his first trip will be
TO America" "Well, let him come right
away. No use of waiting until fly
time" Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Winterbloom-I feel better now
that I've snuhbed that Jones woman.
Mrs. Peterkin-Do you think it disturb
ed her? Mrs. Winterbloom-Oh, yes.
why, she told a friend of mine that
she didn't notice it at all,-Razar.
Mrs. Youngwed-You know Uncle
Pincher said he vas going to send us
something that would help us save our
coal bills this year? Well it came, Mr..
Youngwed- Really2 A stock Of coal?
Mrs. Youngwed-No. A little arrange
ment for filing bills.-Philadelphia
Press.
Jack-1 don't know whether to get
married or go to the gold diggings.
Tom-Why, don't you ask the girl2
Jack-I have asked her. Tom-What
did she say? Jack-She said get mar
ried. Tom-Thep why don't you? Jack
She suggested another girl.-Detrolt
Free Press.
$50 you dreamed of me last night"
said the pleased girl. u suppose tt
was q pleasant dream?" "Yes," he re-
piled. u remember ! insisted on you
having some ice cream, and you de-
!!clared you didn't like It," "Then
dreams do go by contraries," she
promptly replied.
Said Mrs, Gadabout, who had come
to spend the day, to little Edith: Are
you glad to see me again, EdithT'
i"Yes, MN, and mammals glad, toos"
replied the child, ':Is she's" "Yes.
min. She said she hoped you'd come
to-day and have it over with.'-Col-
jlier's Weekly.
There's nothing in literary 1nspira-
jtion,'" said the would-be author. Il
rented a garret ten flights up; bought
gallon of oil and midnight lamp
iand even went SO far as to have bail
iff come and arrest me for debt, and
i haven't been able to write line
yetw-Atlanta Constitution.
A city man complained bitterly of the
conduct of his son. He related at length
to an old friend all the young mans
escapades. "You should speak to him
with firmness and recall him to his