The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-02-16
HOME-SPUN YARNS.


All the tea tables on Brigham street
are agog over Judge MerriJt's mistake.
Inc story is too good TO Keep, ana as
consequence mamma has ted papa. and
Angellne. Augustus. untl the life of the
legal l1gnt at the Alta club is Ike unto
that of the policeman in the immOrtal
ballad-"not happy one.
Judge Merritt has. room at the Alta
club wherein he is : eat nightly to WOO
sweet Morpheus. On .he occasion of the
memorable ball given by the members oL
the Alta club recently, tho burning qucs-
ton or the hour was. w here shall the
lady guests retire to take of their wraps
ana generally titivate ere descending 10
the ball room to Indulge in the uazey
measure and small talk
A committee was formed and ultimately
those gentlemen VINO had rooms IN the
club were politely requested to place The
same at the disposal of the guests. Ju
Merritt consented, under the solemn Co
enaut that he be allowed TO retire to his
vlrtUous blankets at decent and respect
able hour.
This concession having been granted.
the jurist proceeded to scoop all his
razois and masculine imped ments into his
laundry sack. turn a few choice works Of
art toward the vail and tack up a few
God Bless our Home notices. Then
the judge donned a brand new collar of
/ the siX-piy variety. and otherwise strug-
gled into a boiled shirt and spike-taL.
At the appointed hour, the judge
/ looked over his massive collar. the per-
sOnificatiOn of dignity and cOuTuy grace.
The ladies arrived as per schedule. pro-
CGeded to take Undisputed possession OF
! the masculine quarters and the merry
thronS thrOnged. suppered, and danced
until the wee SBla' hours.
Along about a. m. the Judge developed
/ signs of uneaSlness. and was noticed 20
weud his tired patent feathers toward the
portal of his castle. Judge Merritt was
I getting weary, also cross.
At last the guests began to diSpeTsa.
After waiting reasonable time the
. judge mustered up courage to peer into
his chamber Alas on the bed repOsed
the cutest ermine-trimmed opera cloak,
/ while on the dressing table q powder puff
stood out in bold relief It made him 50
angry. Ten minutes later he returned
} but the feminine gear stiN diffuSed the
/ q sweet aroma which peTmeated the at
mOSphere. Then, growing desperate. Mer-
rift took up his solitary vigil at the end
/ Of the hallway. where he Wed with the
radiator in keeping the mercury top Of
At last the tardy maiden appeared, dis
/ appeared 10 Teappear enve.Opgd in the
/ opera cloak heretofore noticed. Saved
! Saved. Judge Merritt fled TO his citadel
{ flung up his WlnuOW sash 70 let out the
] odor OF ottar Of roses and then flung his
patent feathers across the room. OF came
mis- Claw-hammer coat his vest followed
/ suit and found a roOSting place for the
. night on the chandelier; the next in
Z slant his luTid suspenders festOoned his
/ south elevation. Whiffl The eTStWhile
! immaculate tie found a resting place in
/ the marble wash stand. Then came the
| collar For the space OF an awful hve
/ minutes the air was filed with thumbuail
chips and profanity; then away she came
| in front with tho rip of a schooner pass
ing over a suuken coral reef. Now for
D the back button. Really the language
/ which issued through that tTansOm was
shocking: but the collar never budgCd.
Comfort himself as he might, the maScu-
lire hand had never been fooled that
could legitimately sever the ties existing
/ between that six-ply and shirt.
At last in desperation Merritt flung
open his chamber door in search of help.
At that precise moment he caught sight
Of female inquire IN black out of the tail
Of his eye. Merritt Immediately con-
Guided that she was one of the half
dozen maids who had been engaged for
the night 10 attend to the ladies' wraps.
I So backing into her with his suspender
I buckles beating Q lively tattoo upon his
I socks Merritt said grunly: Here. for
/ God : sake unbuttUu this d. collar"
/ The maid did so with the dexterity Of
/ a married wOmanf0f large and varied ex-
perlonce. without Offering one word of
1 thanks the judge shot into his chambre
de mutt, yanked on his pajamas and In
two minutes was sleeping the sleep of the
1 just.
Had it been a servant who unbuttonei
THAI collar probably the incident would
never have been heard Of As il was ii
was a well known married society lady
Z who resides on Brigham street and the
story was too good for her to keep.
According to A. johnson. the Mt
Pleasant merchant. the nickname Saw
buck as applied TO SOTen y. ChristeuSpn
by The Herald has come to stay. and as =
consequence SOren Y. is known by that
/ title from one end OF Sanpete county Ia
the other. You must know said Mr.
Johnson. that Christensen has no Legal
right TO the letter X but ssndwicbed II
in his name so that he might be distin,
guished above all Soren Sorensens I'm
3 Sdnpete valley. whose name Is legion
One day Sorensen's hopeful son and hei,
came iimping on to my porch after az
interview with his papa. and said to me-
'S-a-a-y. B-b-brother Johnson. wh-whs,
does he Herald cali pOp2' After ssk
ing him why he wanted to know. and or
being informed that Nav wanted &
know. IT told the boy. That evening tn.
Sanpete politician directed the chor,
/ operations from the back portico. 'Nov,
, then, Ole SOren Ludwig Sorensen.' thumb
cred the stern parent IL YOU amt carefu
) ! that COW VIII get into the onion uatcn
Look out, Oh. can't you
AT that juncture" said Mr.. johnson
; -the young hopeful threw down his mill