The daily sentinel., 1900-06-30

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HEAVEN SENT.
She has no dog to fondle,
She has no cat to pet;
She does not own a parrot,
She leads no social set;
She writes no learned papers
To read where women meet
But she can get up dishes
Her husband likes to eat.
-Gazoot.
The real hero at Kansas City on the
4th will be the ice man.
The Columbine band will be Meeker
about 6 o'clock Tuesday evening.
Katie McSwatt is down from Goat
vile butting around amongst some OF
her old friends.
The people OF this city never under
take to do thing without they do 1t
and the weather man is no exception.
The recent assertion OF an eminent
scientist that there is danger OF the
earth's supply OF potash becoming ex-
hausted. is all lye.
The general prevailing hot weather
each June should stimulate inventive
genius to the discovery Of some substi-
tute for all this June bride business.
The committee on sports for Peach
Day is considering the advisability OF
holding chewing-gum contest. Girls
desiring to enter will please spruce up.
That sporty citizen who was seen lab
oriously navigating up Main street this
morning, early, has upset the theory
about beer making man fat instead OF
"lean."
A contemporary speaks OF "kilboshing"
a political opponent. This expression is
Greek to us but can be no worse than
that Grand Junction girl who was "pa-
jammed."
Another June bride has appeared in
Texas town. Dan Fedwell and Bertha
Unger are the happy parties and if there
is anything in name Bertha's 'Upger
will be satisfied.
So called friends of Salt Lake tramp
have transformed him into dude and
the Tribune goes 30 far as to cruelty
gloat over the unfortunate hobos pres
ent perdicament. a.
The reported engagement OF Josephine
Blaiz to Herman Wood Of Ignitus, Mich
is a match that will no doubt kiudle a
burning love within the hearts Of the
contesting parties.
TALE OF GOAT,
There once was a goat of Kildare,
Who, having lived much IN the gutter,
Was called by the folks who lived there,
common old oleo butter.
-Gazoot.
II have used your cough syrup reRu-
. Iarly for the past 18 years and find it
great relief" writes Missouri woman.
Another year or two and she should be
thoroughly cured like the Dutchman's
ham, coughin and all.
The announced marriage Of Albert
Beers and Jennie Brewer, a komo, Indi-
ana, couple, will suggest the appropriate
ness of their journeying life's foamy NJ at
rimonial sea in schooner and winding
up with several small Beers.
The talk about couple Of local youths
negotiating for the purchase OF the
Fruita Mail 10 all bosh, that trip having,
been made down there merely for the
Pastime OF giving the fe"males" a chance
to Stul-tify themselves and show How
ard they could be worked.
Dispatches tell OF the recent election
from Detroit's 400" OF a prominent citi.
zen of heretofore good character but
fails to state the cause. A sequel may
be found in the scandalous behavior OF
that Fifth street man who invariably
drinks his coffee with the spoon sticking
up between his first and second finger.
Only half witted poets are unable to
find word to rhyme with Boxers. This
verse is culled from recent issue Of the
Bumguzzle GazoOt:
Like a Chinese Boxer
He never wears sox, sir,
For the reason, wot,