The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-05-20
Fun of the World.

| Qtt vi bftO sVOItQ,
The famous Thad Stevens had a col
ored servant in Washington, named Ma
tilda, who one morning smashed large
dish at the buffet What have you
broken now, you black idioi2''
exclaimed her master. Matilda meekly
responded: Tain't de 10th command
ment, Dress de Lawd.'
z < <
a story apropos of the visit OF the
Japanese prince is being told in Paris
about 3 former japanese embassy which
came TO France TO arrange about three
free ports which were TO be opened 10
trade in Japan and France respectively
The French minister of foreign affairs
chose Yokohama, Yeddo and Han-Yang.
The japanese ambassador smiled and
went away. Soon afterward Japan sig
nified that she had selected the three
French ports Of Havre, Marseiies and
Southampton. The French foreign Office
went into fits of laughter at this blum
der. and pointed out that Southampton
was in England I'VE are perfectly
aware of it, replied the Japanese am
bassador, and Han-Yang is In CoTea-''
z z z K
On the excursion given by Secretary
Langley to the members of the National
the other day, Bernard Green of the IL
brary of congress is credited with hav-
/ ing told the best story of the afternoon.
Mr.. Green happened TO be crossing the
ocean a few years ago on the Fourth
! of July, which national holiday was cele-
brated with great enthusiasm by the
Americans on board.
| Il say asked one OF the Englishmen,
What is this the anniversary Of. any
way? Isn't il to celebrate the battle Of
| Bull Run. or something of the kind?''
mo, promptly spoke up an American,
mot Bull Run. John Bull Run"
q z &c
Many years ago, when President Kru-
ger was in England, he was approached
concerning some concession, railway or
otherwise. by a business man in Lon
don. The negotiations lasted for some
time. One evening the Loadoner, who
was staying at the same hotel, having
spent many hours with Mr.. Kruger and
his companion. went to bed much ex-
hausted, and feeling he had not got quite
all he wanted. Next morning he arose
at nine o'clock, and went along the cor
ridor to Mr.. Kruger's bedroom. To his
establishment II was empty. and all the
luggage was gone. "Oh, sir said the
chambermaid, Mr.. Kruger and his
friend left at six this morning" Then,
with q giggle OF amused reminiscenCe.
the girl added: They was a queer
couple, sir, and no mistake. When e
passed your door, sir, Mr.. Kruger. e
started dancin' right outside your door,
sir, e and his friend. They didn't
know as any one saw them, sir, but
Bessie and l see them, unbeknown, from
the top of the stairs. Then they went
down stairs, sir. fairly sphttin' their
sides with laughin', though they didn't
say q word.
&c &c
A little girl of 5 or years, with big,
blue eyes that were full of tears, came
to Bellevue Hospital, Ne York, the 9TH
er day She carried cat in her arms.
The cat had been wounded by a street
car, and one leg was badly mangled.
At the gate the girl told Tom, the big
policeman, that the cat was hurt.
II want a doctor to help IT," she
said.
Tom took her to the receiving ward,
ing else to do
Here's a case, Doc said the police
man.
II amt "a" the doctor began. Then
he saw the girls eyes. Let me see"
he continued
Pretty bad" was the doctors COM
ment Then he got some knives. little
bottle of chloroform, and some bandages.
You must help me- he said to the
girl.
She aided bravely, though 1t made her
very pale to see the sharp knives am
putating the leg. In a few minutes 1t
was all over and the cat was partly re-
covering from the anaesthetic.
Now you can take your kitty home
with YOU" the doctor said.
1T amt mine," the girl said. i des
found 1t. Now 90 take care OF 1T. Dood
by" The policeman and doctor made
faces at each other, then sent the cat
to the Society for the Prevention Of
Cruelty to Animals.
u x z d
Amos j. Cummings of New York car
ries in his head a rich store OF personal
"reminiscences and anecdotes. He Is "a
fine conversationalist, and when he talks
in the cloak-room or elsewhere he is sure
of an enthusiastic audience. Recently
member with a feeble voice was reading
a speech TO which nobody was listening.
Conversation in the eloak--oom turned on
the subject of how little attention was
paid, as a rule, to congress speeches.
Amos said:
"One night, In the firss congress In
which / served. an old gentleman from
PENNSYLVANIA was reading a speech for
purposes. He stuck close 10
his manuscript, and read In voice a.
most inaudible. Some Of the boys
thought they would have some fun. One
arose and gravely suggested TO the chair
that the gentleman could not be heard.
Then the gentleman from Pennsylvania
would lift his voice for a minute or two.
f1r frYarF fe
again. This process was kept up for
some time, when the Pennsylvania lost !
his temper. threw down his speech, turn |
ed on his tormentors, shook his fist al |
them, and shouted;
Blast you, / don't care whether you |
hear or not, am not talking TO you, |
anyway 1 am speaking 10 the people !
down in the susquehanna Valley. and |
they will hear mel 80
ss ga
A member OF congress from Maine tells /
this interesting story:
There was an old gentleman living in /
Bangor, a few years ago. who had /
known the chief justice all his life. He 4
was a quaint character and a Arm be
lever in spirit1alsm- at the time % 4
the incident which makes the stoTy nc
was not feeling well and was fearful 4
hat MS end was not far OF. He had 1
some matters Of business which he want
q to attend 70. and IL was 10 Judge
John A Peters that ne went 10 assist
him In dra wing up the papers. Ths judge
made them out and the old man wanted
% know how much the bin would be
We'll said he. you are an old friend /
4 mine and you haysn't>sgot long 20
I've. and I'm not going to charge you
,ent"
Thank you. kindly" responded the cd
nan. And. joan. when ! de and get
@ heaven. IL come back from the spiri, /.