The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1900-03-07
GUYS Weather Hindsights.
Observations Taken on the
Wea-nee-Long's Legisla.
tive Ambition.


like il don't care feather, but Der.
ehsnce by the time this gets to press
you may be sweltering aud tanning
for fresh air. or the devil may be
freezing; who knows? Wen have to
eek Long Long predicted the three
SHOWS In January. and they got here.
though one of 'em made . rapid run
20 get in on time and had to lay over
He cleo prophesied one more snow
end IL 10 slso here on time, sod on
the earth and on our frewood too.
drst it. We asked the bloomin'
black what would come next, and he
soswered. dsmphino, whatever that
nesos. Our present winter resort
wss built in the summer and in the
"open work" style of architecture
and. 90 cold storage plant, 10 q bril-
liant success. II it's present tempe
rsture can be preserved until summer
veil rent it ont as refrigerator, 30
doggon us.
= Doggon the beautiful sDow, tho
'esitful. tresoherous, cruel snow, il
rsminds 10 Of some people. 90 softly.
silently, sweetly, unmercifal. Ugh |!
ths little fine colds threads of air
direct "from Greenlsnd's 10y noun.
taips" search down through the mar.
row sod ooogesl the very fervency of
our piety-that Jewell, We don't
know the exsot spot where our piety
10 worn, but this weather would
freeze the microbes Of original sin
Bed 10 sometimes, most generally
slwsys the most comfortable resort,
but tonight the prospect 10 not pleas.
ing, for We are lone and discohso-
lste pilgrim smoug this vale Of tears,
and snow, and slusb. and general Gus.
sedness. and are cure that the tempe.
rature Of the sheets would shock Q
polar bear. or On almanac We don't
object TO beer on ice. bet do object to
On ice cold bier 90 Q bed to sleep on.
We are forlorn and desperate aud
have determined TO resort to the Jog
10 !isile brown jug. don't VIC love
thee This jug contsips hot stuff
boiling hot, corked up and rolled
under the kivver. Q Is warming pan
and makes more pleasant bed fel
low thar some we've had also beats
. brick-iU your nat tomorrow morn
ing But our FIRE 10 losing energy
our fingers are numb. end we feel
like 33d degree chill and must hunt
the jog Goodnight Should there
bs any rigid. but superbly msjes,ic
cadaver discovered in the morning
iis % Guv
Later-We escaped and tbawed by
changing climate We didn't travel
but changed right here and more
rapidly than Florida special.
Later-Chsnged again wind now
boxing compass from every point at
same time and il there was a few
moro points 'twould box every one
OF 'em Wen bet on the wind.
Lster-Wind knocked out in 365tb
round Loot one bet. but gained
some in weather which is smiable
snd smiling bu, We place no trust
in smiies Of weather or women
Ls'sr-Just so Pouring down
rain water. pint blank 90
10 did "in the 60Gth year
Of Nosh's life. in the second
month, the seveuteeth day of the
month" when the biggest shower
beet the record There's nothing
dry spd no one here has sense
enough 20 keep out of the dsmppsss
Nary dry thing. not even q dry
nurse
But IL fatigues our patience to
keep run Of the weather Wen
relinquisb the task to Loug Long
claims to be too light for heavy work
and too heavy for light work, and is
hunting % easy, restful job and has
decided on going to the Legislature
He hss submitted few specimens of
homo made bills which he would
introduce just TO keep him awake
when bis peanuts gave out "A bill
TO require every full bIooded. thor
oogh bred yaller cur dogs tail to be
cot of within two inches of his
bsck-bone without . license" Long
ssys he debated some time whIch
end Of the dog to out of. but con-
cluded to stsrt OF the tail end until
be could work on the Legislature to
eus OF tother end He slso states
thst the clause without Q license"
10 obscure. but be 10 only following
much precedent. "A bill to require
oil running works of vehicles to be
boilt on the rotary disc harrow
STYLE" "A bill to charter all public
roads 81 msoa dam turnpikes to 20
into effect Immediately" "A bill to
abolish road work." "a bill to pro-
vide perennial per diem and mileage
for the general aesemblv - also IN