The Bellefontaine Republican. [volume] (Bellefontaine, Logan County, Ohio) 1855-1905, 1900-01-19
THE COOK WHO
NEVER CAME.

At 4 dinner given last week by Mrs.
Johr. Judson the Paradise Park Whist
club was formed. 1t was a notable feast;
but more hilarity was contributed to the
occasion at Mr.. Judson's expense than
he altogether relished. And there was
more or less constraint between Mr.. Jud-
son and Samuel Parker, although Mr..
Parker did his best to be conciliatory
and signed his affidavit that the next
time he was caught at large without his
spectacles he would submit to arrest as q
public nuisance.
Mr.. Parker is nearsighted almost to
blindness, and it was the breakage Of
his spectacles, in combination with his
deafness, which nearly caused a rupture
in his friendship with Mr.. Judson.
Without his spectacles all coons look
alike to Mr.. Parker, and likewise any
| form clothed in skirts represents a fe-
| male person of undoubted loveliness-
which, when you come to think of it, is
more in the nature of blessing than of
an affiiction.
1t happened that the Judsons' colored
| cook left suddenly on the morning of the
| whist club dinner party, and Mr.. Judson
| found himself obliged to select another
| cook at the intelligence bureau and to
bring her home with him. That was
Mrs. Judson's strictest injunction-to
bring her home with him.
| Mr.. Judson took great pains in the Sc
lection of the new maid, who was Irish,
and he rather fattered himself that he
had acquired the real thing " the cook
| line.
| Paradise Park is reached by the Har.
| lem railroad, and Mr.. Judson and his
jewel were obliged to board a crowded
| trolley car ON their way to the station
| In the push he discovered his friend Mr.
Parker comfortably seated and sQuint.
ing vacantly ahead because of having
smashed his special spectacles that
morning.
''Hello, Parkerv said Mr.. Judson loud
ly, tapping his friend on the shoulder.
"Why, Judson, how de doY replied
Mr.. Parker genially. Then Mr.. Parker
realized that Mr.. Judson was accom-
panied by a female. She wore tall, black
| waving plumes and q most impressive
white front and was typical to all eye'
but Mr.. Parker's blind ones. He gal
lantly arose and offered her his seat
Then he looked inquiringly at Mr.. Jud
son.
"She is my new cook" explained Mr.
Judson as quietly as possible into Mr.
Parker's nearest and deafest ear.
81 beg pardon?" said Mr.. Parker
blandly.
'"This is my cook. Parker" repeated
Mr.. Judson hurriedly.
"Oh, yes. yes. Mrs. McCook," returned
Mr.. Parker, politely raising his hat
"Pretty bad weather for ladies to b.
out" he CO.. tinued amiably. you mus
have a hard time keeping your preciou
silk lined skirts in order. But perhap
you belong to a Don't Worry club ant
are really true philosopher. like most o
! the ladies these days."
Mr.. Parker's department would hav
been marked ten in any class in man
, ners, and plainly the cook was somewha
stupefed, though fattered. In the con
fusion of taking the seat she hadn't nc
ticed the error made by Mr. Par
ker as to her name, though tn
nearest passengers were delighted
aware of the blinking gentleman's blur
der. She vaguely moved her lips as MI
7 Parker looked to her for reply. and tina
gentleman, loath to admit his afflictior
, | affected to understand and went righ
on talking.
Mr.. Judson nervously tried to diver
the conversation.
> 1--WE hope to see you at the dinner tt
night" he remarked.
. "Eh?" said Mr.. Parker. "Oh, yes, yes
We'll meet at the dinner tonight. Charm
ing! l presume that Mrs. McCook is il
> terested in the new club, then, and
going to join?' He beamed on the cool
"And Mrs. Judson gives such delightfr
!, dinners" he continued confidential.
1.-THE goddess of her kitchen is a blac
diamond. l think myself that Judso
3 here must make love to her to keep be
interested, don't you know? Ha, hs
: But there's no cook like the old souther
/ darky. Your Irish girl has much be
. ter opinion Of herself than is usually ju'
tilted, don't you know. And, besides, th
Irish girl always develops such a shocl
ing bad temper at the most unfortunat
times. Ha, hav'
Now, the cooks ideas had been col
3 gealing slowly. At first she had bee
e flattered immensely by the polite gentl
r mans condescension; then, when
spoke of her joining a club, she grew SUI
}, picious. Was he making game of her, {
were these respectable people? But thel
l
| Parker's sentiments as to Irish cook
/ How dared he insult her! The likes
u him
r A wild gleam came into her eye. "a
is it to compare an honest Oirish gu
!. with nagur! How dar' We! An tin
!. per, is it? Shure, divirs a moilder tin
: per this side O. the wather thin me ow
: though Oi say it that shouldn't"
Mr.. Judson longed horribly to stral
gle his friend Parker. Everybody W;
listening and smiling. Mr.. Parker loo
:. ed as if he had been robbed Of his CO.
S sciousness, almost, by the lady's suddt
Q and violent outbreak.
q "Why, Mrs. McCook"- he began.
q "What dye name be callin me out
=. me nameY' she broke in. me name
. Catherine Roilly. an Dim no cuke VIII
l Oi'm out O. the kitchen, an be the san
o token it'll not be in yer kitchen Oh
J. shtep me fut. sir. to be insoolted be y
Z fri'nds," she wrathfully finished, lookiI
at the helpless Mr.. Judson.
She bounced up and pushed her W;
to the door. Everybody laughed. nj
, Judson gazed stonily out of the windo
for a minute, ignoring poor Mr.. Parke
8 who was in that state of collapse "
u could have bought him for a coppe
q Then, with a scorching look at his di
: tressed friend, Mr.. Judson broke aw;
t and left the car.
l. That night a caterer served the di
s ner Mrs. Judson heartlessly told t
n story to her guests. adding much thel
. by to the success of the entertainme
y :, and to the discontinue Of Mr.. Judso
u And Mr.. Parker promised to go into s.
- itary confinement until he hears from
l. optician.-New York Press.
]. Mutually Helpful.