The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-05-20
MANY NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
The Old Postofllce Building a
Graveyard of Models.
Lincolu,s Plan of a Steam
ship That wodIdsNot sink-The We
tpcipcde boat of Another Designer
Life Saving Appliances of Various
Kinds-Odd Musical Instruments.

l fantastic inventions which, for the most
part ene unknown to the world they were
designed to astonsh and benefit. One oil
I these, the automatic cook has been de-
scribed as a sort of alarm clock without
I any alarm, which, at the hour for which
l ie has been set the night before, was to
start fire in the kitchen stove, heat the
| water, and. in short, prepare the breakfast
| out of the raw material left in the pot or
pan. The inventor OF this device was one
John Smith, of Chicago, whose failure to
secure some capitalist to back his Invention
is said to have affected his mind to such a
| degree as to necessitate his removal to
| a sanitarium.
What is rather remarkable is that the
late President Abraham Lincoln figures
| among these old inventors. 1t was long be-
fore the marvellous executive abilities OF
that he patented, in 1919, the unsuitable
steamship" the model of which is here
| to be seen and which was never considered
practicable enough for trial.
Lincoln's invention, however, was tame
and commonplace compared with that OF
genius whose device is labeled 1.-The We
| locipede boat" 1t was designed as pleas
| ure craft to accommodate only two persons,
| who sit upon a kind of see-saw, the mo-
ton OF which operates wheel hidden IN
| the floor of the boat, which in turn causes
| two paddle-wheels to revolve on either side
| of the vessel, thus doing away with the ne
cessity of oars or sails.
More remarkable still is the so-calle1
| notwithstanding boat" Upon the deck
of this craft, which is not otherwise
| curously constructed, is erected a windmill
| which, by means of an elaborate cog sys-
| TEN, turns the propeller at whatever rate
! the wind may happen to be blowing. In
the event OF calm, the thoughtful inven-
| tor has provided that borse, which is to
| be always kept on hand IT that pun pose
be brought out and set 20 work upon
treadmill mechanism which would also set
| the propeller in melton Another invention
is that of womsn.Trwho is said to have
| met with an accident, In rocking char
| through the seat turuing over backward
| She presented means to guard against
such mshaps in the future by having the
| rockers, instead 81 Terminating in a short
| distance from thesrnb9s, continued around
| in q circle until They reached the upper
portion of the baef ot.the chair
The interests o. the children have not
been forgotten bys thei early day inventor,
who. in most case$ wbbld seem to be rea ly
| benevolent personS.y One man contrived
| device which. he SayH meets the require
| ments of nigh chuir; low chair, go-cart,
rocker. invalid chairs andsa combination
chair and table. Adjustable to any sized
child" The principal difficulties about
this Invention consist, in the first place. Of
understanding the rather complicated
mechanism necessary ito work the thing,
and in the second place to make 1t work
after one has become acquainted with its
mysteries. -A
The bootjack is commonly regarded as q
rather simple device, but the freak inven-
tor has managed to turn and twist it into
SO many and hideous shapes that the inno-
cent thing becomes completely trans
formed. There are over seventy-fve kinds
of bootjacks in the model cases. The
freak inventor of life saving appliances has
not only provided for the safety Of ma-kind
under trying circumstances but their COM
fort as we'll. One invention is that Of a
chair, in which a shipwrecked person has
only to lash himself firmly and float in ease
and comfort upon the treacherOus flood,
| supporting himself further upon bareback
slowed away in drawer in the chair until
vessel. Besides this device. there are
tables, sofas, beds, etc, for ocean vessels.
which, in case of shipwreck. can be used as
unsuitable lifeboats. There are even cor
sets with air. tight compartments designed
for life-saving purposes.
Musical instruments have undergone a
strange and weird alteration in the hands
Tor brains) of the freak inventor. A
violin with horn attachment is fair
hi, i. 1T f1,<
instrument. Another fiddle is of a most
remarkable shape and is possessed of four
sound holes instead of the ordinary single
opening. and another is noteworthy as
being of an entirely novel shape, which
would somewhat resemble a mandolin,
only that the body Is much more elongat-
ed and circular in section.
An illustration of the fact that the in
ventor of weird Imagination, even when
designing deadly weapons cannot entirely
depart from his benevolent instincts is
afforded in device for a shotgun, in the
stock of which is a nicely concealed flask
to hold liquor and place for a flask of
lemon Juice Another remarkable weapon
is a pocket knife in the handle of which
is a revolver, the latter being discharged
by closing the blade of the knife The
main feature of this deadly instrument is
its uncertainty, rivaling in this respect
the gun of the Irshman that shot around
the corner"
The thoughtfulness displayed by many
of the inventors and the solicitude evinced
in meeting every want of their fellow
creatures in a small compass surely en-
title them to consideration. The inventor
of the bicycle for tourists" for instance,
has evidently sought to make even CEN
fury runs agreeable and to ensure an
almost luxurious amount of comfort upon
the road But the methods by which he
has attempted to do this are peculiar
His machine, while not differing much in
appearance from the ordinary bicycle, is
really a combination of bicycle. chair,
washstand kitchen, larder and dining
room. About the only thing out of the
ordinary one notices when looking at it
is steel plate joining the upper and
lower bars of the diamond frame, evident
ly to strengthen 1t. The forks also are
of unusual thickness But let person
initiated into the mysteries of the affair
touch a button, and, presto! the large
nickel-plated lamp ,emits shower of
water, which the inventor writes. will
lay the dust, and If the rider is thirsty
he can drink this water. and If his hands
are soiled he can wash his hands in it
with the aid of the little bit of soap
which is concealed in the open space
under the saddle" There is no looking
for the towel either, for that indispens-
able adjunct to the operation, by pulling
a cord is made to appear wrapped around
a small bar operating inside the top bar
of the frame by means of a spring, and,
when done with is made TO fly back in
its place by means of another pull of the
string. it turns out, too, that the steel
plate between the top and bottom bars is