The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1900-03-06
DERICKsBURG, VA, TUESDAY. MARCH 8, 1900.


who wrote it and also heard that there
was an old unknown map by the name
of Marshall, who expounded It, why, !
would have thought from the argument
Of the gentleman that there wash { such
thing in existence as the Oonsiitu'
tion. would also have thought that
Jefferson and Marshall and Madison ara
Monroe and Webster were pgmies by
the side Of the statesman from Penn
sylvania (Laughter)
My friends it reminds me very muoh
Of an old tramp that was walking along
the road and wanted some water Now
mark you. the gentleman from Penn
sylvania would scorn an interruption
from benighted Democrat Il don t
want to be interrupted. " So when we
tried to get enlightenment he wouldnt {
give il TO us This tramp walked up
to well where lady stood. aud she
said You seem tired Won you
have some water" Said the tramp
IL won't be intercepted l am going
TO the well to draw II for myself. lie
went to the we'll and pumped and
pumped, and no water came Finally
he said: my lady, isn't there any
water in the well?" "Oh. yes, plenty
of water. lie commenced to pump
and pump and pump until finally he
got no water. and he said Ism I there
any water in the well?' Yes, SAID
she. What is the reason cant get
il OUT" said he Because, - said she
1.-The sucker is at the wrong end Of the
pump" Laughter The gentleman
from Pennsylvania Mr.. Dalzsll -
trouble was that the sucker was at the
wrong end Of the pump. daughter
and applause
Gentlemen. do not take up my time
by applause have only five minutes
now. Now. my friends. We have got
gentleman from Kansas who made
speech on this subject He drew his
inspiration aud wisdom from the River
Solomon. on which his hog ranch Is
located, so his bi grapher says
Laughter on the Dem cratic side lie
was brilliant be told good stories be
is a reader. and he read his story, by
the way, and he heard story about
Camp Clark His ST rle- are always az
clean as Kansas day during north
west blizzard pointed As steam hsm'
mer. and they were just as translucent
as a block Of granite and as dark as the
midnight in the stomach Of billy
goat. daughter Now, my friends
what did he say about Oh mp CLARK :
he told a story all side.splitling him
self want to say to him that II
| Champ CLARK had jeen heTe-and /
want to warm him Tat Champ Is here
now-that if he gets chance at him
he will give him dose Of Kansas
pill.
Champ will give him a Kansas pill
which means that he will make him
swallow a Kansas grasshopper back
wards. which will knock all the intel
lectual stufiing out Of him in two
seconds daughter
Now, here we come to the deep
mouthed Cannon, of Illinois, with his
ponderous report. and he pounds his
friends on his right and his enemies on
his left and he pounds his desk In front
of him and kicks his chair behind him
daughter And. SO, Mr.. Chairman
my friend. always polite and smiling
ends his peroration thus:
- am not laboring under the perpet'
ual enjoyment Of the rascally immunity
Of utter political incompetency, and my
outward manifestation Of my inward
feeling Of an alloverishness Will not
permit me to be hetrogeneously bam'
boozled by the unsophisticatsd audac'ty
of any Democrat " Great applause
and laughter