Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-04-02
eEoReIE's STORY.
He Tells How Paw Learned to Doctor
the Baby.

the Baby.
II Like to no." says Paw, How the
he'd of a Family Kin ern Liven in the
Day time II He Don't git no Rest at
mite. Here ] am paying fifteen Dollars
a Weak fer a nurse what Don't seam
to no Emmy more about a Baby than
me and Not Haf as much Becoz I had
two Before this one. It's a Blame swim
tiul. all this trained Nurse bizness they
60 into in the sitty. Look at our Muth-
ers Out in the country. Thay Didn't
Uaft to have no Frills like these when
the Family was Gittin so Big thay Had
to Bid a naddishen onto the house
Every year er so. But you Got to have
a trained nurse now er thay won't Let
you In Society emmy more Than of You
Done your own Housework and Didn't
go round tellin' Folks it was Becoz you
advertized ate times fer a Hired Curl
and never got a nanser."
The nurse Told paw he wasen't Fit
to be fawther and he was agoin' to
Talk Back. only Little albert throwed
a Tooth Brush at the pupp and nocked
a Hole thru one of the Windows, so
thay dropt the Subjict.
After Breakfast ant Fanny come in,
and when she Herd about the Baby be-
in sick she says:
You must stop given 1t that kind of
food rite away. When my little Flor
ence was borned she had the same kind
of Trubble, so fed her condensed milk
and she cum thru all rite
Purity soon Mrs. Rawson and Mrs.
Fond came in.
my good nuss." Mrs. Rawson sed
when paw told Her about the Con-
dcnsed milk; Don't give her That. 1t
would XIII the poor Little Thing. I al
wais Bring my Babies up on Stun
leys otes water. and Thay never Give
me Bit of trubble.'
Il wouldent Dare to give no child of
mine that kind of stuff" Mrs. Pond
told paw. You mite as we'll fead it
Green Cucumbers and be Done with it,
Thay amt nothink Like Matted milk
fer Baby with the Collick, and il this
nurse Had emmy sentz she would of
krowed 1t at the start"
Thay was about Half a Dozen other
Ladies' Come while paw was Think
en- about 1t to tell Him what OF to Be
done. and neerly all OF them sed thay
Had the Best Docktor on erth and paw
OF to change Before 1t was too Late or
we wouldent Have no luck with the
Child.
After thay all Got thru paw went to
the Basket where the Baby was Sleep
in as peaceful as a Lam. and looked
at 1t a Long time. and then He went
out in the Hall. and got little albert's
drum and Begin to pound IL and Jump
up and down and Sing git Your mum
ny's Wurth.
Purity soon After that the Dockter
come, and Him and the Nurse sneeked
up Behind and the Furst thing paw
new the Dockter was Holdin his arms
fast to His ides and tryin to push Him
into a closet where thay wanted TO
Lock him up.
Here. confound it, paw Hollered,
what are you tryin to Do?"
BE Cam" the Dockter told Him.
we are your friends. We are Coin to
Lurteckt you. It's all rite
mo. it amt" paw Hollered. "Yod
may think 1t is. But amt Payin You
three dollars a Visit to Come Here and
Try to play Horse with me-.
BY that ime The Dockter seen paw
wasent Crazy so he let go and asst what
he ment by maxim Such a Racket.
II was tryin to keep the Baby awake
in the Day time so it would Give pur-
paw told him.
Then I Take it all Back" the Dock
ter sed. IT thot the Wimmen what are
aiwais Cummen in and Tellen what to
Do with the Babies was the Worst fools
on earth, But they amt" GEORGIE.
In Chicago Times Herald.