The daily sentinel., 1900-06-11
VAIN CUPID.

VAIN CUflD.
That love is blind is true, no doubt.
And spectacles could help him out;
But he won't wear them, 80 tbs told,
| For fear the world might think him old
Gazoot.
A neat little pamphlet entitled, 1.-THE
He'll Box" devoted to the interests Of the
printer and published in Denuer, has ap-
peared. Judging from the tidy appear
ance the devil has nothing to do with its
makeup. t
An enterprising circus manager claims
to have, amongst other highly educated
and trained animals, dog that actually
spits like the up-to-date small boy.
Probably the truth Of the matter is, it is
regular spitz dog. anyway.
The chagrin OF that anti-expansion
democrat who returned home from the
convention only to find his wife had pre-
pared for him, during his abscense, q
pair Of twins, is perhaps equaled by that
of the local merchant who, in anticipa-
tion OF receiving heavy mail, on open
ing his p o. Box was mockingly con-
fronted by lone copy Of the DeBeque
Bugle.
A dispatch states that Mrs. Mckinley
had birthday last Friday and on ac-
count of the stringent condition of the
family purse. in place of giving her a
new hat Mr.. Mckinley changed his
mind and presented her with check
equal in amount to $40 90 for each year
she has lived. This will no doubt stimu-
late the gossipers to guess the real value
OF the check.
AN EARLY MORNING TRAGEDY.
"Ice" the ice man loudly cried.
"Mllk!" the milkman said.
And the sleeper, tired, took aim and fired,
And the barons two dropped dead
Gazoot
The following Ma, day Round Robin"
sheared from a late issue OF the Bugg-
vile Gazoot is given space for the same
reason that plate" is so profusely used
| in the makeup OF the same sheet
"During the past week Hyram Haballs
family have moved into the "house" in
Hogan's alley formerly used by the
Buggville Cheese factory and the Jen-
kins family, the latter having decided to
trekk to the 10th story fiat in the Iken.
hei,ner tennements jus. vacated by the
widow Jones, she goat and her 13
children, the Jones' etc. having decided
to meet the exhorbant demands of the
Hay yball's landlord (the cause OF all the
trouble( having purchased outright the
Hayball's chickens and geese. mo
| do bf thu l,ouo atv &c
but puzzling feature Of the proposition
is what did the Hayballs' do while the
Jones were moving in and the Jenkins'
getting out OF the way; also how did the
census man manage to corral the whole
outfit.
Upon receiving "tip" to the effect
that subscription list toward the erec-
ton OF a monument to perpetuate the
memory OF the late Hon. Herbert G. G.
Nix was about to be circulated the skin
flint editor Of the Kopjville Excuse for
stalled the movement and avoided the
consequent embarrassment OF being re
quested to dig up 25 cents by publishing
in his patent double-faced wind mill
sheet the folio owing diplomatic ~ effort
"When a man has led useful life from
birth, such as did our late esteemed fel-
low citizen. Hon. h. q. G. Nix, his good
deeds are everlasting monuments in
themselves fully equal to the task OF per.
petuating his memory throughout eter-
nifty without the aid Of any perishable
rex pile that feeble man might con-
struct." Such men as the Excuse editor
never die young, but the worm must needs
turn. Going on his theory his memory
would evaporate like ether in the open
air and to perpetuate it beyond that
time when the funeral horses were un-
hitched would require the erection of a
monument Of such gigantic size as would
pale into insignif1cance the Eifel tower
or largest pyramid Of Egypt.