Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1900-06-14


cold"
Say" said the gas man, sternly,
saint l seen you at Coney Island
every summer for four years, wen you
couldn't swim no further than
bullet in beer bottle? Say, if you
want to lie, why don't you lie like
a liar? I'm weary of your life, l am
That's right"
"Say," said the stereopticon man,
"did you see me at Coney Island las
summer? guess nOt!"
That's right" admitted the gas
man, 81 didn't. You was in Ohio last
summer. Least you says you was"
That's right, was in Ohio. I was
dom two-week stands with movin'
pi'ture machine, AN string OF pat
emit medicine ads, an there's where
the thing happened at made me learn
to swim"
SHERIFF chase you into the river?"
sneered the gas man.
ut wasn't the sheriff." the stereop-
ticon man went on, patiently. THE
sheriff don't live at could scare me
like / was scared then. 1t was in
Toledo" said the stereopticon man,
"where all the men wear their pants
short, SOS to keep 'em up, outer the
dust. / had fine stand on Summit
street, an was a shown fight pic
lures to big crowds every night. But
course l was loafin' days, an one day
l walks out along a crack in the
ground them Ohio gazabos calls a
river. They call it the Maumee river.
Well, walks along in the sun, till l
feels pretty dusty myself, an then l
laws down under big maple tree, an
watches the traffic up an down the
crack in the ground, an the clouds
doin' hard-walks up in the sky, an the
grass wavin' an the leaves rustlin' an
sporty lookin' sparrers scrapin' over
a worm. I falls asleep an dreams I'm
barkin' for a snake-shop on the Bow
ery, an l must a slept long time,
cause it was five o'clock when woke
ND. and the sun was come in under
the maple tree and burnt the skin of
nv nose, so it looked like a picked
beet on a free-lunch counter.
"WeIl, the show wasn't opened be-
fore half-past eight o'clock, so 1 just
looks around to see what's in sight.
But there wasn't much, only COW
that had broke into a timothy field
an couple of crows sittin' on a
fence. But just then, looks little
way up the crick and there's boy
fishin' off the end of an oil scow. Well,
climbs along till l comes to my
boy, an then gets on. the scow.
elbows luck?'
"''Tain't worth hurrah.' says the
boy.
"'What you caught?' says I.
"'Not a dod-binged thing says the
boy, AN / bin here all day
"Well,' says 1, your language is
pretty strong-for a boy says 1.
"'Y' otter hear dad says the boy
an he puts a new green grasshoppel
on his hook, an goes on fishin' 'thout
sayin' another word. That's the
kinder kids they raise out west, in
Ohio.
But he was a poor-lookin' boy, an
he had a lath instead of fishin'ro HI
was settin' on the stern of the scow
with his legs hangin' over. The bow
was high an dry, but where the boy
was the water looked bout 40 fee
deep. 1t was black loolIin' water, anC
YOU couldn't see an inch in under 1t
But the boy don't get a nibble, so
gets tired watchin', an l says to TIT
boy:
"'Gimme the line. I'll show yoI
how t. ketch fish, 1 says"
"An' did he give We the line?" asked
the gas man.
Cert" said the stereopticon man
why wouldn't hep"
"Say, you're cold bluff" said tn
gas man. "Say, if there was fish "a
was old, an'easy, an starvin' t death
an ready to commit suicide-yo1
, wouldn't know how to catch IN. AT
the boy give you the line?"
"Sure. An 1 hadn't no sooner lie
In the hook than ketches a fish,"
cav, say" said the gas man, "tha
smart boy fishes all day, and don
ketch nothing, an you drop in hi
line an ketches a fish right off tn
! bat. Aw, say, you make me sicl
Whv don't YOU lie like you knew tn
business?"
"Tha's right" said the stereoptico
man. "The boy didn't just want t
gimme the line, but he give IL Il
: Just to change his luck, and see
= | could ketch fish, an ketches OF
right away"
big fish, s'pose?" sneered the g.
: man.
"Well," said the stereopticon ma
difidently, at wasn't big fish. 81
it was a fish all right, all right.
didn't contract with the boy to ket'
Z no shark"
"'Bout four inches long, s'pose
said the gas man, with another snee
"Well, p'r'aps, about four inche
Il But it was fish,"
Z Jaw, fish" exclaimed the gas ma
"Tell fish story about t1sh 10
inches longl Why couldn't you ST
four feetP Say, you'd drive mi
) 10 drink wood alcohol. A fish sto
n about fish four inches long!"
= "This story amt about fish, sa
l, the stereopticon man. Its apo
!. swimmin'!"
Jaw. g'wanl"
= swell, 1 don't mind sayin'," adm
=. ted the stereopticon man, that
s. was pretty much s'prised myself
lSetChin' this fish, for ] never was
' fisherman"
/ Course you wasn't" said the G
:. man. you wasn't never nothin' b