davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
Might Have Been Expected.

william, why did you punish that
child?"
"For irreverence, my dear; he called
me Billy"
"You were very inconsiderate, it
seems to me; you always refer to him
as the kid.'-Judge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
No Dancer,

"He sat on my joke
''That was SAFE
"Safe?"
eyes. There wasn't any point to it."
Harlem Life.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
To Win Undyins Fame.

Some day, to shift the small boy to an
earthly paradise, somebody will introduce
a fenceless baseball park and his fame will
last forever.-Pittsburgh Times.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
A Safe lnvestment,

Give pity to those who toll and weep,
For such to the Lord are lent;
And always remember that talk Is cheap
And advice doesn't cost cent.
Judge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
Her Particular Advantage.

Her Particular Advantage.
When, in case of strife, the politicians
wife
Desired, in her sweet, wifely way, to fout
him,
No common things she said, but held him
while she read
What opposition papers said about him.
Chicago Record.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
Told the Truth for Once,

TOId the TFUth LOT OnCe.
Crimsonbeak-You know Mung-
chaussing?
Yeast-Well, should say SO!
swell, we must give him credit for
telling the truth once"
"No!"
Eyes; he said, to-day, he was the
biggest liar in own."-Yonkers
Statesman.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
A Good Matrimonial Standard

If men Judged women by the way
they treat their mothers there would
be fewer of those marriages that lead
to divorce.-Chicago Democrat.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07

1t is not considered good form for a red
haired girl to ride white bicycle This is
important and should be remembered
Danville Commercial.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07

The only reason some persons pay their
debts is so that they will feel free to borrow
again.-N. Y. Press.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
Henpeck-After I'm dead want you

to marry again.
Wife-Why?
Henpeck-Then I'll feel sure that
there will be at least one person who
will daily deplore my death.-The King.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07

Mistress-I can't really allow you to
receive your sweetheart in the kitchen
any longer.
Mary-Thank you. mum. kindly, but
he's too bashful for the parlor.-A!ly
Sloper.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
Xiv yIf1{t1zsll Isl
Quietus.

. Freddy-Miss Smarte is 2 funny
girl. met her the other day, and
when said hello she failed to re-
spond. She slipped off her finger ring,
and only looked at me kind of saucy
like.
Arthur-she supposed you took her
for telephone girl. You said hello
you know. So she did what the tele-
phone girls do when they want to get
rid Of you. Ring off," you know
Boston Transcript.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
Tailor's Boy-Does Mr.. DeStyles live

Tailor's Boy-Does Mr.. DeStyles live
here?
Landlady-Yes.
Tailor's Boy-Well, here's pair of
new trousers for him.
Landlady-You'll have to bring them
around next week. He's very sick and
the doctor insists on our keeping ev-
erything quiet.-Chicago Daily News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
Faith and Unfaith,
ything works in circles"

''What do you mean?'
"Why, Joe forks is such skeptic
that he has lost his faith in skepti-
cism Puck
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
HE KNEW.

Teacher man bought three
pounds of meat for 36 cents. can of
tomatoes for eight cents and some po-
tatoes for five cents. Now, what does
that make?
Bright Scholar-Soup.-Philadelphia
Press.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
Hxmen,. M.xic Touch,

Hymen'S Magic Touch.
A pensive girl in early life,
She wore troubled brow;
Yet she became a happy wife
She's quite expensive now.
Town Topics.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
Acro.s the Footltghts.

Across the FOOtlights.
The singer his voice failed to gauge,
And the audience went frantic with rauge
But the singer had grit
And kept on until hit
BY q cabbage and knocked of the stauge
Chicago Daily News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
Blood
Trouble

and richness, and hence you feel like a lag
gard all day and can't get rested at night.
Hoods Sarsaparilla will cure you because
it will restore to the blood the qualities it
needs to nourish, strengthen and sustain
the muscles, nerves and organs of the body.
1t gives sweet, refreshing sleep and imparts
new life and vigor to every function.
Felt Tired-"In the spring would have
no appetite and would feel tired and with
out ambition. Took Hoods Sarsaparilla in
small doses, increasing as l grew stronger
That tired feeling left me and felt better in
every way" w. E. Baker, Box Sc, Milford,
Ohio.
Be sure.to get Hoods because
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07
HOODS Sas-sapa,,ilxx

Is the Best Medicine Money Can Buy. Pre-
pared by C. 1. Hood & Co., Lowell, Mass.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1900-06-07

rode out from the mountains before
them and started across the valley to-
ward camp. By his horse, which we
recognized, we knew him to be Bill
Smith. The Apaches opened fire the
moment they saw him. and, changing
his course so as to avoid them, he as
promptly spurred his horse into gal
lop, and we thought he had got safe
ly out of range, when the animal sud
denly went down, falling on Bill, stun
ming, and pinning him to the ground.
Instantly yell of exultation went up
from the Apaches, and they dashed
toward him, racing with one another
for his scalp. While the men occa-
sionally killed one of their number
themselves, it was quite another thing
to see one butchered by the Apaches,
! and they groaned with horror, for
they could do nothing but stand idly
looking on.
| Kid had run out of the tent with
the others. and was standing near me
when Bill went down. In the excite
ment of that moment I lost sight Of
him, and, when 1 saw him again, he
had leaped astride the old gray mare.
and, digging his heels into her TANKS,
started at a furious gallop toward the
Apaches. At this another groan went
up, for it seemed that the boy was only
lriding to his death. A moment later
we saw 300 pairs of long ears cooked
4 toward the old gray. 800 shaved tails
few upward, and the ground quivered
beneath the pounding of 1900 hoofs
as the mules dashed away after their
leader. Soon they overlook her, and,
ranging themselves behind and at her
sides, bore down in solid phalanx upon
the Apaches, racing along as though
for their lives.
Oh, what howl of delight went up
when they saw through Kids design!
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05

In his annual address President
Sarles contrasted the work and
methods of the old-time doctor with
the physician of today, and showed
how the tendency to specialize was be-
coming more marked. He referred tc
the work that had been accomplished
by the society and asserted that a
physician could obtain the greatest
benefit by, being allied with such an
organization which permitted an ex-
change of ideas with the most advanced
men of the profession. One of DIR.
Sarles' suggestions was that the Sc
ciety might well be divided for puc-
poses Of discussion inc two sections,
one for medical and the other Tor
surgical subjects. He also made
plea for the appointment OF a national
board of health and for various
changes in legislative acts which now
hinder rather than assist the doctor liz
his work.
The report of Secretary Sheldon
showed that the society can now boast
of membership of $50 members, an
increase of 256 during the last eight
years. The society, according to the
treasurer's report, has a balance on
hand of over 1900 after making dis
bursements during the year of 1925.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
FRANCE OPEN TO SCHOLARS.

IL is gocl news to American stu
denis that the hospitality which
Frame has already given to the
foreigners in matters of art, science,
literature and education is to be sys-
tematized and greatly extended in cor.
nection with the exposition of 1900.
The program of THE Paris Inter-
national Assembly" issued by the In
ternational Association for the Ad-
vancement of Science, Art and Edu-
cation, and to be had of the United
States Commissioner of Education at
Washington, shows a comprehensive
range of congresses, to be increase 1
to over two hundred in all, dealing
with variety of subjects in science,
pure and applied, medicine and
hygiene, industries, social science.
economics, etc, to an extent never be-
fore attempted in conjunction with a
Worlds Fair. What is more to the
point, the University of Paris. which
is, so to speak, the host of all visiting
scholars, is making, through the as
sembly, arrangements whereby any
student may be directed in the channels
OF personal acquaintance best adapted
to the continuation of his work. The
object is to remove every obstacle to
the access to what Paris and the FIX
position have TO offer of knowledge or
British and American universities and
colleges, which is also being invited by
the University of Paris (having &C.
credited for this purpose Professor Pat.
rick Geddes, the secretary of the Inter
national Association, is likely to in
duce many English-speaking scholars
to avail themselves of this rare op-
portunity to pursue their specialities liz
the bright light afforded by the Gx-
position and the enlightened city IN
which it is being held.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
PROGRESS OF WOMEN.

There is no more elaborate argument
or determined opposition to woman
suffrage than there has been to each
step OF the progress of the rights Of
women, writes Carrie Chapman Gait,
president National Suffrage Associa-
zion. Scientists measured the heads
ana weighed the brains to prove that
Sits could not master a college edu-
cation. Clergymen read the Scriptures
10 prove that they should not. AMI
public opinion echoed the sentiments,
OF both. But girls did master the
college curriculum. When the world
recovered from its establishment sciep-
lists investigated anew and discovered
that measurement and weight could de-
termlne little of the quality of the hu-
man brain; clergymen reinterpreted
the scriptures, and public opinion adj
Justed itself to the new conclusion
Each step of the way has been bitterly
contested, and that there has been
advancement in the rights of women al
all is due to the fact that the few. not
the many, possessed the authority TO
insure the change. Had il heen
necessary to submit the question of
coeducation to popular vote before tss
experiment had been tried there would
not be 10000 young women studying
IN our colleges and universities TODAY.
In 1870, before women had studied on
practlced medicine, had it not beer
necessary to do so by a vote of mon
ana women, 5000 graduated women
physicians would not now be engaz "a
III the healing art in our country. The
progress has come because women nj a
larger mold, loftier ambitions ana
nooler self-respect than the average
nave been willing to face the opnosi-
ton of the world for the sake of lin
erty. More than one such as these de-
serve the rank of martys. The sacri-
nee OF suffering, of doubt, of obloou,
which has been endured nv The
pioneers in the woman movement will
never be fully known or understood
For 60 years and more a vigorons
agitation has been waged in the Grnites
states to establish equal right for
women with men. Under its influence
and guided by the brave leadership of
brave men and women, the evolution of
the rights of women has movad ~
without break.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
PROTECTING BIRDS.
Congress Wants to Aid the States In a
Good Work.

The bird bill, which passed congress,
is step in the right direction, though
unfortunately it does not go to the ex-
tent that all lovers of the feathered
world could wish. In brief, the effect
of the bill will be to reinforce such
state laws as exist, by introducing the
operation of the federal law at the
point where the state law ceases to
have effect. But even this is tre-
mendous gain and will make further
legislation for the protection of birds
much easier than it would be at pres
ent.
Briefly stated, the bill empowers and
directs the secretary of agriculture to
purchase and introduce in various sec
tons of the United States such wild
game birds as have become scarce or
extinct in those sections. 1t prohibits
the importation or introduction Of any
wild animals or birds save under the
special permit Of the secretary of agri-
culture. This latter provision will
prevent the Introduction of the mon-
goose, the sparrow, the starting and n
number of other animals and birds
that are very injurious to agriculture
and horticulture, as well as destructive
of bird life.
The third section of the bill pro-
hibits the transportation and sale of
birds, whether game or wild, when
such birds have been killed in viola
ton of the laws of the state whence
they are shipped. For instance, say
the open season for game birds closes
on the first day of December in Vir-
ginia and the first day of October in
Georgia. 1t would be lawful for deal
ers in this state to ship birds here
from Virginia during the months of
October and November, but any birds
coming from Georgia during those
months would be subject to seizure by
the federal officials and the. shipper,
the seller and the carrier liable to
fine of 5000 each for each offense.
The final provision of the act makes
the sale of game birds and other wild
birds, alive or dead, subject to the
laws of the state in which hey are
sold. Thus, if the Pennsylvania sea-
son closes on the first day of Novem-
Der we could not ship birds here from
Virginia during November, though it
would be an open month in that state.
1t is with much satisfaction that we
view the passage of this bill. 1t will
enable the secretary of agriculture to
do much toward fostering bird life
throughout the country.-Philadelp
Inquirer.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
IF
I every man was honest.

II every man was honest,
And noble. kind, and true,
And wouldn't fight, or lie, 70 steal,
What would the "coppers" do?
If every man was good and just
The many and the few,
And told the truth both day and night
What would the lawyers do?
If every man would perfect be,
Would not contest or sue,
And gave to every one his rights
What would the judges do?
If every man would have good health
And not get sick and blue,
And eat and drink with reason,
What would the doctors do?
If every man would cease to read,
And need no thought or view,
And live like Adam did of old,
What would the writer's do?
II every man would stay on land,
And ships would have no crew,
And all the lakes and seas dried up
What would the sailor do?
If every man would keep the peace,
AS Gentle, Jap, or Jew,
And wouldn't fight or go to war,
What would the soldier do?
If every man would single stay,
And be as glum as glue,
And only lived just for himself,
What would the ladies do?
If every man would make his god,
We'd need no church or pew,
But, then just think, my Christian
friend
What would the preachers do?
II every man would keep his word
Be pure as morning dew,
And would not lie for wealth or power
What would the statesman do?
Answer.
The copper" lawyer, doctor, ju
Would soon be out of breath.
The writer, statesman, preacher too,
Would groan and starve to DEATH
John A. Joyce.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
DOCTORS GET THROUGH.
Dr. Sheldon is Continued as Secretary
AT Waukesha Next Time.

At a business session which closed
the convention of the State Medical so
ciety in Milwaukee. DR.. ]. f. Pritchard
of Manitowoc was elected president
and Dr. c. S. Sheldon of Madison was
continued as secretary, while Waake-
sha was selected as the place for next
years meeting. Reports of officers,
and the annual address of the retiring
president, Or. w. I. Sarles of Sparta,
formed the other features of tho bust
ness meeting which followed The read
ing of technical papers. The fGll Est
of officers selected follows:
President-Dr. j. +. Pritchar1,
.Manitowo,.
Vice president-Dr. IL. V. wuerde-
mann, Milwaukee.
Second vice president-Dr. Edward
Evans, La Crosse.
Censor-D.. George Steele, Oshkosh.
Secreiary-Dr. C. S. Sheldon.
Madison.
TreasUrer-Dr. S. S. Hall, Ripon.
DIR. Z. o. 3. Wingate, who receotly
attended the annual meeting of the
American Medical society, reported on
the work OF that gathering. and offered
q resolution, which was adopted, that
committee OF one be appointed TO
meet with the national society's Com
mittee on Legislation which holds an
annual session at Washington. The
society also passed resolution to hold
joint session. as previously suggested,
with the eclectics and homeopaths
next year for the purpose of securing
legislation of benefit to the medical
profession.
The committee on ethics in its report
recommended the expulsion of three
members for violating the rule against
advertising. The report was adopted.
though the names of the physicians
were not made public. DR.. Theodore
Russell OF Oshkosh was made an
honorary member on motion Of Or.
Burgess OF Milwaukee.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
AUSTRALIAN MOUNTAIN SCENERY
About 5000 Feet is the Altitude Limit.

John Plummer's Australian Core
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES who have described
Australian scenery as dull, monoton-
Gus, and deficient in the pictureque,
can have beheld very little of it. Sew.
eral of the panoramic landscapes are
among the most extensive and impress
sive in the world, possessing all the
essentials of scenic beauty, their vast
ness being increased, as in south Afri-
ca, by the prevailing silence and sense
of solitude occasioned by the thinness
OF population. The mountain country
everywhere possesses innumerable At
fractions for the tourist DESTROYS of
quitting the beaten paths of travel. as
well as for tho geologist, naturalist.
artist, and even those possessing high
poetic tastes. In New South Wales. a
line OF mountain ranges divides the
coastal districts from the interior level
country, the immense pastoral regions
from which are obtained the vast
wealth of wool and mutton, the prin-
cipal range running into Victoria, on
the south, and into Queensland. on the
north. In the southeastern portion of
the colony, which has the appearance
OF having been convulsed by some
great physical disturbance, the widta
and altitude of the tableland are
greatest. rhe mountains are rugged
and their slopes abrupt, as is also the
case in other portions of the dividing
range. particularly in the Blue mount
aims and the eastern part of New Eng
land.
The average height of the Snowy and
Munlong ranges. which belong to the
southeastern district, reaches 5000
feet; and the width of the plateau, in
the direction OF east and west may be
set down at 100 miles. The altitude Of
the Monaro district averages 1000 feet
above the sea level; but as the table,
land runs northward it decreases great
ly in height and in width. until 1t mar
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05

Mr.. Frog Cat the bottom of the welD
My friend, you certainly reside in a
sky-scraper.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
AN UP-To-DATE POLLY.

Boy-Polly want a cracker?
Polly-See here, young fellow, you
amt a-going to spring that newspaper
chestnut about frecrackers, are you?
Aw, go chase yourselfl-St. Louis
Globe Democrat.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
THE SISTERS.

me young sister-I have made up.
my mind to die an old maid.
Inc elder sister-You win get over
that foolish idea.
ne young sister-I don't see how
can. You know ma says I shan, lamar
~ until after you.-Indianapolis Press
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
UHINESE DIVINITIES
SIN. MOON AND STARS AMONG
THE NUMBER.
DEAD BECOME DEITlEs

Curious Social characteristics and
Customs of People in Whom Great
Interest Now Centers-Elaborate
Rules OF Courtesy-When to Drink
Guest Tea"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
Answer.

The copper" lawyer, doctor, ju
Would soon be out of breath.
The writer, statesman, preacher too,
Would groan and starve to DEATH
John A. Joyce.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05

A very animated shooting ARRAY No.
CURED in Texas. No ammunition was
wasted.
Arizona republican., 1900-08-09
EMIL MARQUARDT HELD
He Afterward Tried to Commit Sui
 eide in Jail.

Emil Marquardt, better known as Robinson Crusoe whose conflict with Indians at his place on the river five miles below town was described in The Republican yesterday morning, was arrested and brought to town. The of ficers found him walking about his do- mains with a revolver belt and scab- bard in his hand very much excited. He off red no resistance and was was brought to town and lodged in jail. He was given a preliminary examina- ton charged with assault to commit murder before Justice Gray in the af- ternoon. Five Indians appeared against him. 1ne of them Pedro. the pros cutting witness. who can both speak and write English. They were all Pimas from the upper reservation. They said the.- were going down the river hunting for reeds or jules to be used in basket making. for which their tribe is fla nous. They saw a man in the distance with yellow. curly hair. He called to them, but not understanding him. they paid no attention. Then there was a crack of a revolver and a whistle of a bullet. They understood that. for a revolver speaks universal language. a Folapuk. Pedro fell down and the rest of the Indians ran. gathered up their ponies and started up the river. Pedrr. who was unhu.t, aros5, but fell agai when another bullet whistled above his head. The next time he arose he got up running and never stopped until he got into the next section. township and range. Robinscn Crusoe got his horse and rode it to town and offerd it as documentary evid nee of the invasion of his place by Indians. It was evidence of nimsy character. so poor and thin that the officers could see through it.
 Marquardt told a different. rambling. but almost incoh5rent story. He said the Indians came down the river. shoot ing fish with giant powder, and when they came to his boundaries he thought they were after his goats. When he ordered them away one of them shot at him. That was the beginning of the battle. The Indians denied shooting, and said there was not q gun in the tule gathering expedition.
 On this testimony the justice bound Marquardt over to the grand jury, placing his bond a the low figure of $500 in order that he might give it and return to his ranch to care for his goats and chickens. A friend promised to execute the bond, but after Marquardt was returned to jail psnding it's execu- ton he grew wild. He dashed his head against the iron bars, receiving a severe cut which may prove serious wound. He was finally quieted, but begged for a in he Uniobf mt him. self out of his trouble with the least possible expense to the county. He has made a will disposing of all his prop erty to q woman in Maryland.
 Some arrangeme pending his con finement ought to be made for the care of his property. for goats and chickens in his neighborhood will not last long without vigorous protection.