The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-04-22
Fun of the World.

4
day as / was riding out alone L came
! across one of the Wagons loaded with
cane broken down in the field. A hind
wheel had come of, and the driver OF
the oxen, who was q boy about Is years
old, was taking things as cool as Ice
not even having unhitched his beasts
When did it happenT I asked. as
got down.
"iHours ago. senior he replied.
And haven't you reported to the
oyerseer?''
No, senor'
But why have you wasted all this
time when there is need of hurry?'
VIII the senior tell me, he replied, as
he lazily scratched his head. what has
happened to the wagon
Why, wheel has come of, OF
course
Then. viii go up to the mill and
report. I should have done so long ago,
but 1 wasn't sure.
Sure of what. you dolt?'
"'Of whether the wheel had come of
the wagon. or the wagon had come on
the WHEEL
e &c
In Mexico City there is being torn
down an ancient residence known as
The Jews House" Centuries ago il
was owned by a Jew who. accused OF
flogging an image of the Savior secretly
| at night in his house, was burned by the
Inquisition. And during this torture and
having in mind the confscation Of his
property which preceded his sentence. he
said, coolly: pile on the FACETS; 1 am
paying for them"
&c ER
A surgeon who is often absent-minded
was dining at the house Of a friend.
| Doctor said the lady OF the house
''as you are so clever with the knife, we
must ask you to carve the leg of NUT
ton"
with pleasure" was the deply.
And setting 10 work, he made a deep
incison in the joint of meat. Then
| (whatever was he thinking about?) he
drew from his pocket bundle OF lint,
together with several linen bandages,
and began to bind up the wound in
due form.
The guests were stricken dumb at the
sight. But he, still deeply absorbed in
thought, suddenly looked up and remark
ed, triumphantly:
with rest and care he will soon be
better!"
z ZEE
A United States consul recently re-
turned to Washington, D. c., gives the
following account of how English is
taught in the French schools. Jean,
you will stand up, said the master to his
brightest pupil upon the occasion of the
consul's visit. Now, conjugate the verb
I have a gold mine"
Il have gold mine,' responded the
bright pupil with scarcely an accent
Thou has a gold thine. He has a gold
hiseu. We have a gold ourn. You have
a gold yourn. They have gold theirn."
q x 4 ..
A French paper reports a good mot
of the late General Joubert. When Natal
was invaded much discussion took place
in the BOer camp as to the wisdom of
the Generals strategy. A Free State Of
ficer remarked that the sudden attack
upon English territory did not quite
square with the cunning of a lawyer,
abiding to Joubert's old functions as a
solicitor. My friend replied Joubert,
there is great difference between a I
court of justice and a battlefield. In /
the former the advantage lies with him |
who has the last word; in the latter IL |
lies with who strikes the first blow
n < q Z
A certain small boy got in the habit of |
teasing his mother for pennies, until at /
last she said to him: Now, Willie, 1
don't like to give you pennies; II you want
n oney, you should go to work and earn
it" The boy remained thoughtful for
some time. Then, within a few days,
the mother perceived that Willie had
plenty of pennies. She wondered where
he got them, but did not question him.
But one summer day she noticed that
some sort Of hullabaloo was going on
in the back yard. Looking out, she saw |
Willie surrounded by a mob of boys,
who were yelling with delight. She went
down into the yard to see what was go
ing on; and as she passed out she saw,
stuck up on the back wall Of the house,
this OVitp neatly ftrrirltedS ont
with a pencil:
WILLIE JONES WILL EAT
small green worm, for............ cent
large green worm, for......-..... 2 cents
small fuzzy worm, fOr............ 8 cents
large fuzzy worm, for............. cents
small green toad, for..............25 cents
Willie was apparently doing thriving
business. His mother interrupted it-at
any rate in his own back yard.
z Z x z
A packing-case which contained a Pc
-uvian mummy intended for museum
n Client, was recently opened by mistake
1t an English railway station, thereby
causing a great deal of trouble. Murder
was at first suspected but the coroner's
Jury disposed OF the case by bringing In
his unique verdict: That the woman /
vas found dead in the railway station,
and did die on some date unknown, in /
I
America, from some cause unknown No
proofs Of a violent death are found, and |
he body has been dried and buried In
Ome foreign manner, and the Jurors are J
satisfied that the body does not show I
my recent crime IN this country, and
hat the deceased was unknown and :
bout twenty-five years OF age" we
oubt if any other mummy ever got such J
n Endorsement.
aag /
President Eliot Of Harvard told this
tory at the Cornell Club dinner the {
theT evening:
"A friend Of mine a college professor,
rent into crowded restaurant in New L
-ork City for luncheon one hot day last $
ummer. The negro IN charge Of the big ?
orridor where the hat-shelves stood was L
n Misunderstanding fellow. and HIS y
ow and smile were not Of the obse- 4
uious stupid kind 50 often affected By +
olOred walters and d0or-men In hotels. / G
lie took my friends hat and gave nc
heck for Il in return. An hour later, a
'hen the professor came out II the din i,
lg-Toom, the negro glanced at him n ?
comprehensive way. turned 10 the y
-elves and handed him his hat. II
My friend 3 q man who priaes him =
II on his powers OF observation. and n
7e negro's ability 20 remember 70 whom q,
49, +s~-- "a Atttt-s4tsh sff-'-tzI go <t4A
IN as being something very wonderful.
'' How do you know this was ny ..
ate he asked =
" didn't know II. sab was The r. :.
". a.
" Then. why old you give Il 20 me- r.
le professor persisted. II
% Because you gave & 70 ne. san"
An English writer relates this Whe1 @
VS. starring IN car from BRAY, 2 g.
-s-Nyra I