davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
OFFICE OF AUDITOR OF PUBLIC
ACCOUNTS.

Santa Fe, N. M, Feb. 20, 190O.-It is
hereby certified that the London and
Lancashire Fire Insurance Company, a
corporation organized under the laws OF
the Kingdom of Great Britain whose
principal office is located at Liverpool,
England, has complied with all the re.
quirements of the laws of New Mexico,
so far as the said laws are applicable to
said company, for the year of Our Lord
One Thousand Nine Hundred.
In testimony whereof, l, L. M. Ortiz,
auditor of public accounts for the ter
ritory of New Mexico, have hereto set
my hand and affixed my seal of office
at the city of Santa Fe, the day and
year first above written.
(Seal) L. M. ORTIZ,
Auditor of Public Accounts,
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
Before and After.

What! Singing so early in the morn
ing! exclaimed the boarding house land
lady as she encountered Mr.. Marbles in
the hall. Don't you know it's unlucky
to sing before breakfast?
Perhaps it is, replied Mr.. Marbles. but
somehow l never feel like singing after
Notwithstanding Plain Dealer.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
OFFICE OF AUDITOR OF PUBLIC
ACCOUNTS,

Santa Fe, N. NJ, Feb. 6, 19OO.-It is
hereby certified that the American Cen
trail Insurance Company, a corporation
organized under the laws of the state of
Missouri, whose principal Office Is locat-
ed at st. Louis, NO., has complied with
all the requirements of the laws of.New
Mexico, so far as the said laws are APP
plicable to said company for the year Of
Our Lord One Thousand Nine Hundred.
In testimony whereof, I, L. M. Ortiz,
auditor Of public accounts for the ter
ritory Of New Mexico, have hereto set
my hand and affixed my seal of office,
at the city of Santa Fe, the day and
year first above written.
(SeaD L. NJ. ORTIZ,
Auditor nf Pnhlic Accnnnts
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15

j. l. Berry, Loganton, Pa, writes, 81
am willing to take my oath that l was
cured of pneumonia entirely by the use
of One Minute Cough Cure after doctors
failed. 1t also cured my children OF
whooping cough" Quickly relieves and
cures coughs, c Ids, Group, grippe and
throat and lung troubles. Children all
like it. Mothers endorse it. Ireland's
Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
An Unreliable Guide.

Who is that homely woman over there
with the dreadful complexion?
Oh, that's Lou Lovely.'-She writes
all the articles on "The Care of the skin
for the Sunday Shrek. cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
Too Tough for Credence

Bracket has been very successful in
working off his fake stories, hasn't he?
Very. But they all held him up on
one the other night.
What was it,
He claimed that Suran B. Anthony
had resigned to get married.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
OFFICE OF AUDITOR OF PUBLIC

ACCOUNTS.
Santa Fe, N. M, Feb. 10, 19OO.-It is
hereby certified, That the st. Paul Fire
and Marine Insurance Company, a cor
poration organized under the laws of the
state of Minnesota, whose principal of
fee is located at st Paul, has complied
with all the requirements Of the laws of
New Mexico, so far as the said laws are
applicable to said company, for the year
of Our Lord One Thousand Nine Hun
dred.
In testimony whereof, I. L. NJ. Ortiz,
auditor of public accounts for the ter
ritory of New Mexico, have hereto set
my hand and affixed my seal of office,
at the city of Santa Fe, the day and
year first above written.
fSeaD L. M. ORTIZ,
Anlitor If puhlip Accounts
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
Looked Like Work.

The Jay-And how did he play Ham
letp
The Josh-Well, 1t looked to me more
like work than play.-Kansas City indie.
pendent.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
A Dry Heaven.

Mrs. Stubb-John, this paper says
there is a place in Africa where 1t never
rains.
Mr.. Stubb-By jinks, 1t would do a
man good to live there q lifetime.
Mrs. Stubb-Why, John?
Mr.. Stubb-Because he'd see q
rainy day skirt, Maria. Chicago News.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
In and Ont.

Stranger-Are the saloon doors closed
in this town on Sunday?
Native-Yes, frequently Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
Golden Elouuence,

Your people seemed to give most of
their applause to that man B%illingsly.
1t struck me that he was the poorest
speaker of the lot.
Yes, but he gave us 100000 last year.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
An Eye to the Future.

Chief Lieutenant Il want $40, 600 more
for the purpose Of
Candidate for Montana %senatorshtp)
Stop, I don't care to know what you
want it for. l will not knowingly be a
party to anything like bribery. Here's
a check for the amount.-Chicago Tri-
bune,
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
OFFICE OF AUDITOR OF PUBLIC
ACCOUNTS.


Santa Fe, N. M, March 3, 1900. 1t is
hereby certified, That the Palatine In
urance Company, a corporation organ
lied under the laws of the Kingdom of
Great Britain, whose principal office is
located at Manchester, Eng, has com.
piled with all the requirements of the
laws Of New Mexico, so far as the said
laws are applicable to said company for
the year Of Our Lord One Thousand
Nine Hundred.
In testimony whereof, /, L. M. Ortiz,
auditor of public accounts for the ter.
ritory OF New Mexico, have hereto set
my hand and affixed my seal Of office,
1t the city Of Santa Fe, the day and
year drst above written.
lSsaD L. NJ. ORTIZ,
Auditor Of Public Accounts.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15

F. B. Thirkield, Health Inspector Of
Chicago, says, "Kodol Dyspepsia Cure
can not be recommended too highly. 1t
cured me of severe dyspepsia" 1t d.
gests what you eat and cures indigestion,
heartburn and all forms of dyspepsia.
Trpland's pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15

Finest train west of Chicago; 30 hours SO
minutes Santa Fe to Los Angeles. Pull.
man, Dining Car, Understanding Car,
with Barber Shop, Observation Car
with Ladies' Parlor). Vestibuled and
electric -lighted throughout. Four times
. w~eek-Mondays, Thursdays. Fridays
and Saturdays, =. q. M, from Santa F..
Santa Fs route.
H, 3. Lurz, Agent,
Santa Ee, N. NJ.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
One of En-.

Behold the new etfulgence
That gloweth in the east!
A color scheme indulgence
That's like q gorgeous feast,
What is it that thus lightens
The dull and dismal west
That fires, and gilds, and brigthens!
IT'S Jimmy Woodruff's vest.
Cleveland Plain Dealer
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
Queer Advertisements

have been collecting queer advertise
ments from the different papers. Here
are some specimens:
Wanted-An %organist and a boy tt
blow the same.
Bulldog for sale; will eat anything
very fond of children.
Wanted "A boy to be partly outside
and partly behind the counter.
Widow in comfortable circumstances
wishes to marry two sons.
A lady wants to sell her piano as she
is going abroad in a strong iron frame
W~anted-By a respectable girl, hen
passage to New York; willing to take
care of children and a good sailor.
Lost-Near Highgate archway, an UNI
brella belonging to gentleman with a
bent rib and bone handle.
Mr.. Brown, %furrier, begs to announce
that he will make up gowns, caps, etc
for ladies out of their own skin.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
A Difference in Clothes.

What's the difference between a fiddle
and a violin?
A fiddle is a violin when the man who
plays it has on a swallow tail-coat--Bal-
timore American.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15

Larry-Hobart bit me q dollar that he
cud put an egg in . bottle without break
in the egg.
Dsnuy-Did he do TIL trick7
L~arry-Yis; he broke TIL bottls.-Chi"
cago News.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
~ am indebted to One Minute Cougl

Il Hm WuBDGBu 10 UHB MTHUJU CUUB1
Cure for my health and life. 1t cured
me of lung trouble following grippe
Thousands owe their lives to tho prompt
action of this never failing remedy. 1t
cures coughs, colds, Group, bronchitis,
pneumonia, grippe and throat and lung
troubles. Its early use prevents con-
sumption. 1t is the only harmless rem
dy that gives immediate results. Ire
lands Pharmacy,
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
Just Like Pa.

Daughter, is your husband amiable?
Well, ma he's just exactly like pa;
when he gets his W way about every
thing he's just ovely.-Detroit Free
Press.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
Couldn't Get q Line on The.

Husband-What kind of people are
our new neighbors?
Wife-I don't know. They hang their
wash up in the attic.-Chicago News.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15

Lewis Dennis, Salem, Ind, says, "Ko-
dol Dyspepsia Cure did me more good
than anything l ever took" 1t digests
what you eat and can not help but cure
dyspepsia and stomach troubles. Ire
lands Pharmacy,
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15

G. H. Appleton, Justice of Peace,
Clarksburg, N. j., says, "DeWitt's Little
Early Risers are the best pills made fol-
constipation. We use no Others" Quick
ly ure all liver and bowel troubles.
Iraland's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
Do They Smoke?

Faith" said the %janitor philosopher,
''If any wan liver told We tobacco wud
unsteady ye'er hand, JUS rade up a few
accounts ave the Beers aim."-Chicago
News.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
A Coufusion Of Names.

Yes, l saw him in the elevator with
his arm around his typewriter.
What!
: Yes, he was carrying it tower to Thomp
sons repair shop.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer,
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
Preach and Practice.
Preach and Practice.
Unto the early springtime
The poets are all bowling;
But wait until the farmers rise
And put them all to plowin'!
Atlanta Constitution.

DYSPEPSIA CAN BE CURED BY USING
ACKER'S
Dyspepsia Tablets. One little Tablet
will give immediate relief or money re-
funded. Sold in handsome tin boxes al
rs cts.
For sale at Fischer's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
Jaundiced View,

Jaundiced View.
The optimlst-America and England
must ever stand side by side, shoulder to
shoulder.
Pessimist-Shouldn't wonder. Neither
one would trust the other out of sight.
indianapolis Press.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
A 6choolboy's Definition.

NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS., what were the
peculiarities of costume in George Wash.
ington's day?
Robert-Cocked hats, knickerbockers,
pumps and smart buckles.
Schoolmaster - Thomas, what were
smart buckles?
Thomas-The ones Georges father
socked him with for fer cuttin' down his
cherry tree, sir.-Leslle's Weekly.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER.
A Historic Misconception.

Nero has been badly maligned by
historians. Careful research has proved
him to have been a most exemplary char,
acter."
"How about his fiddling when Rome
was burning?"
IA pure misconception. He was an
active member of the appian hose CON-
pany No. / and after they had got the
fire under control he played for some
time on the ruins. "-Chicago Record.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
II was suffering
with what the doc
tor called chronic in
digestion, torpid liver

and vertigo" says Mrs. Martha E. Bar
ham, of MELVILLE, Prince George Co., Va.
my symptoms were giddiness in the head,
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
A Sure Cure.

"Dorothy's neuralgia is much better
"What helped it S q~uickly"
"Somebody sent her two tickets to a
matinee"
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15

Size doesn't indicate quality. Beware
of counterfeit and worthless salve of.
fered for DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve.
DeWitt's is the only original. An in
fallible cure for piles and all skin dis.
eases. Ireland'S Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15

y feeling all over.
also had fe III
.akness. l was all
n down, and could
not do any work
wit h o suffering
from at.
tacks, so l wrote to
you. You advised
me to use DR..
\ Pierce's Gold
\ en- M e dical
\ Discovery and
\ 'Favorite Pre-
\ s%cription.' I
used FIVE bot.
ties of each.
I gained i'll
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15

The modern and most effective cure
for constipation and all liver troubles
the famous little pills known as DeWitt's
Little Early Risers. Ireland's Pharmacy
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15

l.. 7. Travis, Agent Southern R. R.,
Selma, Ga, writes, 81 can not say too
much in praise of One Minute Cough
Cure. In my case it worked like a
charm" The only harmless remedy
that gives immediate results. Cures
coughs, colds, Group, bronchitis, and all
throat and lung troubles. Ireland's
Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-15
A Wise Youth.

Eddie-I hear that you gave your ma
a pair of slippers for her birthday.
Freddie-Yes, and l marked them ITO
be worn on the feet only."-Harper's
Rovop
The suburban citizen., 1900-03-24
speemIate Only ON Paper.

The story is told in the Ladies'
Home Journal of a member Of Ply
mouth Church who had lost heavily
in Wall street speculation and failed
in business and who went to the great
preacher one day and voluntarily
promised that he would not speculate
for one year. At the end of six
months, however, he went to his pas
tor and asked to be released from his
promise "I can make more in ore
week than / am now making in a
year." he said
Mr.. Beecher refused to release
him. "Do your speculating on
paper" he said, "and at the end of
the year tell me how you would have
come out had I let you CO."
At the end of the year the would be-
speculator reported to Mr.. Beecher:
eff had actually made those deals
would have failed three times in tho
six months"
The suburban citizen., 1900-03-24
stumblsd. but Won a wlts.

Gov. Aaron v Brown of Tennessee
was a Chesterfield for politeness and
Talleyrand for wit When he, q
much admired widower was paying his
addresses-as yet unavowed-to an at
tractiye young widow, he called at her
house one day and was ushered into a
room darkened to the degree which the
prevailing fashion of those days de-
clared to be elegant, and before the
governor had famlliarzed himself with
the surrounding objects in the gloom
the young widow entered the room.
With enthusiastic devotion he ad-
vanced to meet her hastily, not notic-
ing a low stool directly in his path;
way; unhappily he stumbled over II
and pumped upon his knees directly
at the feet of the object of his affec-
tions. Before she could utter a word
of apology or sympathy the adroit gov.
ernor seizing her hand exclaimed: /:
Madam a happy accident has brought
me where inclination has long led me- D
The formal declaration which followed
was, of course, successful, for such
ready gallantry could not be resisted,
February Ladies Home Journal.
The suburban citizen., 1900-03-24
The Income VI a Naval Omcor.

On about the salary Of a younp
clerk an ensign of our navy 1must
dress we'll, his wife and children
must; they must live in presentable
part of any city; the children must
be educated, aud well, somehow. The
very nomadism of their lives is a great
source OF expense, and there is no es.
cape from unpaid bills, no living on
from year to year in debt, as do =
recognizable number OF people in civil
life; for tradesmau has but to send
his authenticated bill to the Navy De.
partment and the delinquent will be
curtly reminded of it through official
channels, resulting in a court.martlal
if his shortcomingI so often repeated
as to be 'unbecoming to an officer
aud a gentleman. But even all this
sordid counting of dollars and debts
seldom succeeds in subdping, certain
ly not in breaking, the spirit of peo-
pie naval. Everybody knows what
everybody has, and this fact at once
lifts off social burden which is re-
sponsible for half the misery of pow
erty of the "genteel" degree. Then,
too, to have even little, if that little
comes regularly and with absolute
certainty, is rest in country where
leisure is still looked at askance. In
return, however, an tofficer gives up
his whole life, very loften smothers
his talents and ambitions, and is "ou
guard" every hour Of his existence
Politically he is practically disfran~
Chised, must always be for tho Gov
ernmeut and remain discreetly silent
in land given over to 'oratory" and
in time of extreme ndividualism of
opinion.-Anns A. Rogers, in the
Woman's Home Companion.
The suburban citizen., 1900-03-24
Mrs. Bugglns and the rsiama..

Mrs. Buggins has gone in for the
emancipation of her sex, She doesn't
exactly want to run the universe, and
she coniesses she wouldn't know how
to vote if she tried. Her attempt al
emancipation has taken the form OF
paiamas. For a long time she has
rallied against the conventionallty that
has bound her to the robe de mutt,
aud has cast envious eyes at the silk
pajamas worn by Mr.. Buggins.
81 don't see why we women can't
wear them, too" she said the other
day. Then she went to a Chestnut
street haberdasher's aud asked to be
shown pajamas for boys.
GLOW old is the boy?" asked the
salesman.
Gracious 1 don't know" replied
Mrs. Buggins, who is not blessed with
any children of her own. And then,
seized with a sudden inspiration, she
added: 81 think he wears a No. 10
collar, if you can tell by that"
The salesman told her that those
sizes were not kept in stock, and
would have to be made to order
'You had better bring the boy here
and then we can tell better about the
size" he said Mrs. Buggins prom.
ised and left the store, greatly de-.
lected. Philadelphia Record.
The suburban citizen., 1900-03-24

Spion dIop. the new Majuba Hin.
where the British experienced the
worst reverse OF the present South Al
'ican campaign, is a rugged mountain
rest OF about 1900 feet elevation. and
nearly fourteen miles south and lit
lie west of Ladysmith Gen. Butler
described it as a barren and open
slope, the ridges so steep that guns
,annot be placed upon them" 1t is
lne of innumerable kops or plateau
peaks lying between the Tugela river
and Ladysmith. and is as formidable
place of defense as the first east
srn ridges OF the Rocky mountains
would be. Old Majuba Hill, where Sir
George COlley fell before the Beers in
1881, is nearly 5000 feet high but
Spion Kop is high enough to have
served the purpose of the Beers well
his time, Near IL, crowned by Boer
batteries. are half dozen other kops,
all higher than the one Gen. Warren
scaled only to be defeated Some Of
hem are 4.700 feet in elevation, others
1900 feet and 1900 feet Guns mounted
lpon them. properly depressed, would
sweep Spion Kop so that nothing liv-
ing could remain upon its summit. Be-
tween the kops are ragged ravines. af
fording fine retreats for Boer riflemen,
whose duty it would be to harass a re-
treating enemy. The rocks are rough.
difficult to climb over and unprotected
by tree or bush. From the Tugela
:iver almost to Ladysmith is constant
rise of land that blisters with heat by
iay and is dangerously chill by night.
An interesting story is told in con-
aection with the capture of the Jane
son raiding party by the Beers in 1896,
and shows how near to summary pun
shment DR.. Jameson and his officers
Gere at that time. A score of the lead
brs of the Beers had assembled to de-
eide their fate. The majority favored
Che shooting OF all concerned in the
raid and, while President Kruger ad-
vocated mercy and used all his great
Oower to make his counsel prevail, his
efforts were Of no avail. Finally Gen.
Ioubert. who sided with Dom Paul got
A hearing and as last effort, throw
ng argument aside. related the follow
,ng parable: Friends" he said, sup
pose have a farm, and my neighbOr's
logs are always worrying and killing
my sheep, what would you sdyise me
20 do? Shall | kill the dogs and stop
he nuisance? II do so, my neighbor
may come to me and say, You have
killed my dogs; they were of much
greater value than your sheep. and you
| will have to pay for it, Would l not
be better advised to catch the dogs. to
bring them to their master, and say:
Your dogs are worrying and killing
my sheep; take your dogs, punish
them, and refund me for the loss
have suffered?'" Nobody answered
and Gen. Joubert continued, I'VE have
caught the dogs. Would it not be bet
ter to send them back to the English
government for punishment and to
claim damages instead of giving them
cause to demand reparation, and to
send from their kennel other and may
be worse dogs to worry us?"
The parable turned the scales.
The suburban citizen., 1900-03-24
Quaint London Rent. Paid.

Certain ancient and quaint rent serv-
ices, which are due to the crown by the
corporation of London, were, in ac-
cordance with custom, performed at
the Offices OF the queens remembran-
GER. in the royal courts of justice, in
the presence of a number of curious
and interested spectators. George Pol
lock, the remembraneer, made the
usual explanatory statement as to the
origin of the custom, and proclama-
tion was then made: Tenants and
occupiers OF a piece of waste ground
called The Moors, in the county Of
Salop, come forth and do your service. -
The city solicitor advanced and cut a
faggot of wood with a hatchet and
another with a billhook Proclamation
was made next: Tenants and occu.
piers Of certain tenement called The
Forge in the parish Of st. Clement
Danes. in the county of Mlddlesex.
come forth and do your service" The
city solicitor on this occasion counted
six horse shoes and sixty-one nails
The queens remembrancer replied
Good number" Faithful suit and
service having thus been made the GER
amony ended.--London Telegraph.
The suburban citizen., 1900-03-24
SUBSCRIPTION RATBsI

Erteraa al Ne Post 0floe .fer trdnsSaisStSu
A-OuSh @S uaaiIt af sscend-otasS raass.