davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
A Couple of Shocks.


"Where have you been, Mr. Rocky?'
demanded the boss.
ooh, SIR replied Rocky mendacious-
~, my landlady is n most excellent
woman, and she has been so Ill that
had to stay at home to nurse her"
This excuse went, and the boss turned
away. The following day Rocky felt
like he had sand in his head, and q
headache as long as n rainy Sunday
in the country developed. He staid at
home, sending the excuse that hts
landlady was dead and he had to at
tend the funeral. Later in the day q
woman entered the bookstore and in
quircd for Mr.. Rocky.
1.-THE reason l came here" she ex-
plained, 'is because l nm his landlady,
and not having seen him for a week 1
became uneasy and called to inquire
about him
His landlady" gasped the boss.
"Why, woman, he's attending your fu-
neral this very day and has been nurs,
ing you for n week.
1t was n shock to the poor woman to
find she was dead. but n shock of an
other sort struck Rocky when he came
back TO work. 1t was his funeral that
time.-Louisville Times.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
Brown Potatoes.
steamed Graham Br.nd.
A Gn,tronomic cxc1on-.

Ill men and women eat. If they
don't. they won't last long, and no one
need worry as TO whether they count
for much or not. But good eaters are
usually very objectionable. BY good
eaters 1 do not mean large eaters or
greedy eaters, though 1 may include
some Of both. but 1 mean the men and
women who enjoy what they eat and
show no disposition, either from dys-
pepsia or other form of indigestion, TO
quarrel with their food.
GluttOns. however. are not very love
ly. l sat at table once with a woman
at summer resort who every day for
dinner ate Il ears of corn from the cob.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
How nr.er Rabbit nent nr.er Fox


One day Brer Fox was hungry. AS
he wandered about the woods he saw
squirrel upon the branch of n tall tree.
Hello, Br'er Squirrel" he said.
Hello, Br'er Fox!" replied the SPUR
rel.
Then said Brer Fox: 81 once had a
brother who could jump from limb to
limb" $50 can l." replied Br'er SPUR
rel. Let me see you," said the fox.
So the squirrel jumped from limb to
limb.
'Br'er Squirrel, have brother who
can jump from tree to tree II can
too" So Br'er Squirrel jumped from
tree to tree.
"Br'er Squirrel, 1 had n brother who
could jump from the top of Il tall tree
right into my arms" II can too"
And he did. Br'er Fox ate him all up.
Br'er Rabbit was lying in his bed
near by and saw all that was done.
"Br'er Fox" said he, your n mighty
smart man, but l had n brother who
could do something you cannot do"
what was it," said Br'er Fox.
MY brother could let anybody tie n
large rock around his neck and jump
off this bridge into the water and swim
out" $50 can l." said the fox. Then
Br'er Rabbit fixed the rock and the
string and Brer Fox jumped, but he
has not been heard of since.-Ameri-
can Folk Lore.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
She Got n New Pair.

Sarcasticus and his wife were going
to the theater.
'Will you please go In and get my
goats off the dressing table?" said Mrs.
S.
"Your goats" queried the puzzled
Sarcasticus. What fangle have you
women got now?"
TN show you" snapped the wife,
and she sailed away and soon returned
putting on her gloves.
Are those what you mean? Why,
call those kids"
II used to-" replied Mrs. Sarcasticus,
but they are getting so old 1 am
ashamed TO any longer"
He took the hint-Pearson's Weekly.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23


There are some seeds which literal
~ corkscrew themselves into the
ground" The most remarkable in
stance Is perhaps that of the Spina
pennata. n beautiful south European
grass. The actual seed is small, with
a sharp point and stiff short hairs
pointing backward. The top end Of
the seed is produced into q fine, twist
ed, corkscrewlike rod, which is fol-
lowed by a plain cylindrical portion,
ending in a long, delicate feather, the
whole being more than foot In length.
Owing to this feather the seed falls to
the earth point downward and sticks
in the ground.
But even if the seed should settle on
its side, damp, by acting on the hairs
attached to it, causes it TO rise up till
its point Is downward. If a shower
comes on or dew falls. the spiral I'M
winds, elongating itself upward. Be
ing covered, like the seed, with back
ward pointing hairs, it usually presses
against some blade of grass or other
obstacle, with the result that the seed
is pressed into the ground.
On the spiral becoming dry again. it
curls up, and the seed is not drawn
out Of the ground owing to it's back
ward pointing hairs. but the spiral and
the feather are easily drawn down. On
the return of damp the spiral again I'M
winds and, acting as before, drives the
seed still farther down until at last it
is quite buried.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23

field Country club, Pittsfield, Mass.
and OH another occasion a fiier from
his driver went over Il coach and four
which was crossing the green.
Little Ardsley was quite an attrac-
ton at the Pittsfield club. When visit
ors called. he would frequently give an
exhibition. playing the first four holes
Of the course. which lie around the
clubhouse. Master Ardsley can be
seen at the Van Cortlandt links most
any afternoon, and he never seems to
get tired following the ball and carry
ing his caddy bag.-New York Herald.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
HAM SMELLING A BUSINESS.
Peculiar Occupation For Which Only
Few Are Qualified.

Few Are Qualified.
The ham smeller's only tools are a
long steel trier and his nose. He stands
In barrel to keep his clothes from be-
ing soiled by the dripping brine, and
the hams are brought to him, and he
plunges his sharp pointed trier into
them, withdraws it and passes it swift
~ beneath his nose. The trier always
goes down to the knuckle joint.
In testing meat in that manner the
man with the trier judges by the slight
est shade of difference between the
smell of one piece of meat and anoth-
er. The smell of the meat is almost
universally sweet, and that is what he
smells. The slightest faint or devia-
ton from the sweet smell is therefore
appreciate. 1t is not the degree Of
faint that he expects to find, but the
slightest odor that is not sweet.
When he detects an odor, he throws
the meat aside, and If 1t is not I'M
meat. but If ii is tainted it goes to the
rendering tank. The ham tester smells
meat from Z o'clock In the morning I'M
til > o'clock at night, and his sense
must never become jaded or ineXact or
his usefulness would be at an end.
Ham testing is not Il pursuit danger
Gus to the health, as tea testing is sup
posed to be. but the ham smeller with
n cold In his head is like piano player
who loses his arm In q railroad wreck.
kansas City Star.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
AVERTEO A TRAGEDY.
The Nerve Displayed by DAME
O'ConnelI mt n Critical Moment.

The Nerve Displayed by Daniel
O'ConneII mt N Critical Moment.
Daniel O'Connell the famous Irish
agitatOr, had contempt for physical
danger. On n certain occasion a meet
ing had been convened. and a large
crowd assembled in Il room on the first
floor OF a building in a small city in
Ireland.
O'Connell was about to address the
people when a gentleman, pale with
fear. made his way to the platform and
hOarsely whispered:
"Liberator. the floor is giving way!
The beams. that shore IL up are crack
ing, and we shall fall through in few
minutes"
Keep silent" said O'Connen. Then,
raising his voice he addressed the as
sembly:
II find that the room is too small to
contain the number who desire to come
in, so we must leave II and hold the
meeting outside the building"
At this n few rose and went out. but
the majority retained their seats. Then
O'Connell said:
II will tell you the truth. You are
Irishmen. therefore brave men. The
floor Is giving way, and we must leave
this room at once. IL there is a panic
and rush 10 the door. we shall all be
precipitated into the room below. but
IF you obey my orders we shall be
saved. Let the II men nearest the door
go quietly out, then the next Il. and so
on till all have gone. l shall be the
last TO leave"
His instructions were obeyed to the
letter. and he waited, patient and
calm, till all had gone out in safety
Then he walked quietly across the
sundering. cracking floor. reaching the
door just as the shattered beams gave
way. And thus. by the force Of his
strong will. a terrible accident was
eveKted.-Exchange.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
STICK TO SIMPLE FOOD.
The American Business Mans Pace
Demands Easily Digested Dishes.

The American Business Mans Pace
Demands Easily Digested Dishes
There was in the old days far less
wear and tear upon the nerves, and,
under such conditions, digestion was
more completely performed" writes
Mrs. s. T. Rorer of why Am OPP
posed to Pies" in The Ladies' Home
Journal 1.-THE mothers of today must
look more carefully TO the building Of
their bodies and brains than their
mothers and grandmotRers did. In
deed at the pace at which we Ameri-
cans are going we use our brains at
full speed nearly all the time. What
man can build brain and Drawn on
pies, layer cakes or preserves or any
other mass of material which from its
very complexity requires labor and
time for digestion, drawing the blood
from the brain 70 the stomach during
his working hours? Observe those who
eat their complex foods carelessly and
hastily and you will see at n glance
the conditions that necessitate q COM
plete rest every now and then, or an
early nervous breakdown
I'm my close observation in the last
20 years find very few people in our
common struggle for existence who can
for any length of time eat carelessly of
complex foods. At 40 or 80 n man may
perhaps have accumulated wealth, but
not health, and Of what earthly use is
the first without the second? Many
persons in the generation gone before
have eaten pies at least once day,
but they have not had meat three times
a day, nor have they rushed at our
pnce. They gave more time to the di-
gestion of the pie. People who recon-
mend these rich foods rarely know any
thing of their complex conditions and
still less of the complexity of diges-
ton"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23

That is more than the regulation mid
day feed for horse. And in the opera
ton she creased her hands and her
cheeks, and every now and again her
nose was decorated with the well but
tered grains. She was q sight, and at
the end of the table she bred a famine
that it took walters to relieve. And
she was in repose not by any means a
bad looking woman, but in action-in
action at the table-she was kind Of
human cyclone. leaving desolation in
her path. She had had three husbands
and is n widow again. What became
of the poor men never knew. Maybe
she ate them.-John Gilmer Speed in
Criterion
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
Economy.

Whats this?" exclaimed the young
husband. referring to the memorandum
she had given him. "One dozen eggs,
one pound of raisins, a bottle of lemon
extract. a tin of ground cinnamon and
half 4 pound Of sugar-what do you
want with all these things. Belinda ?"
i've got a stale loaf" replied the
young wife, that I'm going to save
by working it up into bread pudding.
l never let anything so TO waste,
Henry."-London Fun.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
BARRED the Thrust.

A lady had in her employ an excel
lent girl who had one fault. Her face
was always in a smudge. Her mistress
tried, without offending. to tell her to
wash her face and at last resorted to
strategy.
DO you know, Bridget" she remark
ed in a confidential manner, 1T is said
that If you wash the face every day in
hot, soapy water It will make you beau
tiful?"
will it?" said Bridget. "Sure, it's a
wonder ye niver tried 1t, ma'am"'-
Our Dumb Animals.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
FOR LITTLE FOLKS.
A Mite of n Golfer.

The youngest golfer in the country is
V. Ardsley Flood, the 4-year-old son Of
Mr.. Val Flood, who now has charge Of
the Van Cortlandt park golf links.
Master Ardsley Flood was born on
July %, 1896, at the Ardsley casino and
has been playing golf for the last three
summers-in fact since he has been
able to walk. He has special set of
clubs, made expressly for him.
Despite his size and youth. he swings
his driver with the grace of a veteran
and plays his iron clubs equally we'll
In fact, he rarely misses the ball.
Master Flood drives on an average
about 80 yards, but he has record Of
driving a ball 100 yards at the Pitts
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
Dress Well.

1t is not enough that people shall be
clad; they must be dressed. Costly
thy habit as thy purse can buy" was
the advice OF Polonius 10 his son;
rich. but not gaudy, for the apparel
oft proclaims the man." and the advice
is just as good today as it was 800
years ago.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
THE SOLDIERS LIFE.

Only TO stand in the red of the fray,
Only to battle for glory, you say;
Only to leap 10 the bright song of death,
Aurmring, MY country!' with fast heetirg
breath;
This is the life Of the soldier, you dream,
Wreathed with the dag in the battles red gleami
Night on the road, and the mud TO his hips!
Visions of little ones leaning with lips
just TO be kissed through the dream and desire
Sweetheart and home hearts and love by the frel
This Is the life OF soldier. TO fare
Far from the tenderness waiting him there.
Mourn the march and the drums ahead,
Beating the call to the battle. the tread
OF lcgions gone down in the ranks in the
On TO the front. fle by file, by man!
Soldier, valiant, SO brave and true,
Honor and glory to yours and to you!
Noon the field and the battles fierce heat
Flamcd to the faces unfaltered that
Death in the fash of the shot and the SHE'LL
The crash of the cannon. the red, roaring hell;
Still meath the folds of the flag doth he fight,
True TO his country and true TO the right!
Night the hills, and, oh, the wide eyes
Under the shadow and grief of the skies!
Night in the hamets where broken hearts wait
In vain for the heroes that fought against fate!
This is the life of the soldier-somc time
4 wreath for a tribute. and a rhyme!
-Folger McKinscy in Baltimore News
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
WIne Willie.

What are the holes for:" asked little
Edna. looking at the porous plaster
that her mother was preparing to put
on Willie's back.
Its funny you don't know that. Sis"
interposed Willie They're TO let the
pain out, Of course" So
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23

ITS no fun being married. Ny wife
Is coming 10 me all the time and ask
ing for money!"
You're lucky! I have to ask my
wife always for money when / want
any"'-Heitere Welt.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
A Wise Pigeon.

The San Francisco Chronicle says
that the ferryboat Piedmont, from Oak
land. was about opposite to Goat island
when 7. II. SchlotZhauer. pigeon fan
cier of Alameda, released five birds.
Among them was famous 5-year-
old homer, Duke OF Richmond, which
had proved its right to 4 title Of nobil-
ity In more than Il score of long dis
lance flights. 1t probably had never
had such incentive to quick flight as
was presented that day.
The passengers watched the pigeons
rise In the air and circle several times.
Then four of them turned toward the
east. but the fifth, which proved to be
the Duke of Richmond, was seen to
fllrt and drop toward the Piedmont.
Presently the passengers made out that
it was being pursued by large bird.
The birds were at an elevation of per
haps 900 feet when the chase began,
with the carrier IN the lead. AS If it
had calculated its chances. the pigeon
dropped straight for the place where
its master had released it and. landing
upon the ladies' deck of the Piedmont,
fiuttered through the cabin door.
The sea eagle was so confident of
striking its prey that 1t did not check
its flight until within ten feet of the
ferryboat. Then it wheeled suddenly
and, lowering for n few minutes over
the stern of the boat, winged its way
back to Goat island.
In the meantime the frightened pi-
geOn futtered down the aisle of the cab
in until 1t came to Il passenger reading
4 newspaper. Then, as if asking for
protection, it made up to his side and
perched on the arm of his seat. There
its owner found it and carried It back
TO its cage.
1t was evident that the pigeon was
too wise TO risk n long race with the
eagle. knowing only too well that such
q flight would he its last.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
ANSWERS TO injuries.
aash.d brown Potatoe.

Mrs. s. l.. M, YpsilentL Mich, writes:
! Have been interested for long time in
a recipe for hashed brown potatoes
Cold; boiled. ;eft-oyer potatoes viii! an
keep their shape. Chop them"Tery fine.
Rub smooth omelet or frying pan with a
slice of onio melt Tablespoonful of but
ter, and when hot turn in the potatoes; sea-
son with salt and pepper; press down
where they will cook slowly, without stir
ring until they are rich, golden brown on
them. Sprinkle very lightly with finely
minced parsley. and roll carefully like an
omeiet Serve on a hot plate With parsley
garnish and poached eggs.
Are not the recipes you refer to pub
hshed in the daily paper? I would advise
other schools.
French Fried Potatoes.
A Subscriber. Albany. Mimi. writes:
tatoes and brown potatoes mentioned in
Wash and pare the potatoes and cut into
eighths. lengthwise; throw into cold water
and soak an hour. Drain and dry carefully
to float them until a delicate golden brown
and dry and mealy inside DO not have
TIM. to cook and not pet too brown; have have
lat as hot as for doughnuts-
Brown Potatoes.
This is probably the recipe you refer to:
with salt. pepper. melted butter and hot
cream enough to moisten- Beat light with
fork. then put into a creased, shallow
par. put smaller pieces of butter over
the top and put in q quick oven to brown.
II the potatoes are served with pot roast
they are placed under the meat and cooked.
They brown nicely n that way and are
very palatabIs-
Steamed Graham BrsRd.
Sift three cups graham -four. one cup
white flour. one teaspoonfui salt and three
and half level teaspoonfuls soda together.
Mix one cup of molasses and two and half
cups sour milk together and stir into dry
ingredients When well mixed. turn into
a well-buttered mold and steam four
hours standing the mold a muffin ring
in deep boiler to prevent burning. II you
have no regular steamer.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
FIRST VOLUME.

Conducted by Ida Ames Wills. S19
Cha rnber of Commerce Building, Chicago,
TO whom ali inquiries should be addressed
All Rights Reserved by Banning Co., Chi
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
able and Kitchen.

Practical suEsestsons About What 10
Eat and How to Prepare Food.
This matter will be found to be entirely
different from and superior TO the usual
rim of food articles, in that every item is
a nugget CT culinary wisdom and eminently
r,ra
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
Teaching Boys and Girls to Swim.

IcnchtnE BOYS ana GIFTS TO swim.
Besides teaching the young idea how
to shoot the New York board of educa-
ton instructs several thousand young
Americans every year how to swim.
The New York vacation schools include
IL swimming tanks in various parts Of
the city, which are in charge of IS in
structorS hired by the board. Boys are
given 20 minute swimming lessons on
Tuesdays. Thursdays and Saturdays,
and girls are taught ON Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays. Beginners
are put in Il shallow baby tank.
where they lie Crosswise on a big belt
and practice arm and leg strokes. They
also suspend themselves from an over
head trolley by buckling little belts
around their waists and can then
splash backward and forward with no
danger OF sinking. When they have
learned TO swim, they practice in a lar
ger and deeper pool. The first year
they are taught only the breast stroke.
but the full course includes side
stroke. swimming on the back, floating
and life saving. From 50 TO 100 girls
are present on each OF the swimming
days. and the number OF boys is consid-
erably larger. Three thousand boys
and girls were taught to swim last
wear.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23

The highest point Mt which Towering
plants have been found was in Tibet,
at 1920 feet. Nine species were re-
corded at 10000 feet or higher.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23

The average height of an English
man is ) feet So inches.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
Pure Food.

None but thoroughly reliable pure and heahful foods,
SO by actual chemical analysis will be accepted for
these columns.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23

These accessories to our list OF dishes
demand for, and the list increases each
season as the seekers after novelties dis
cover something new and yet untrted.
These dishes may be served at various
periods throughout the meal. from begin
ming as the first course or appetizer, to the
ending in the character of a digest.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
DeviIed Bones.
Oyster Canapes.

Cut slices of brown bread into fame
shapes. Remove the muscle from u larg
oysters. cut them in small pieces, add
tablespoonful of chopped capers, able
spoonful of chopped gherkins. two table
spoonfuls of mixed horseradish. tire
tablespoonfuls chopped celery. Mix wit
about quarter of a cup of Mayonnais
tershire sauce. Spread over the bread
which should be very slightly buttered
GdrniSh with CaDerS and ShredGed celery
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-23
An Important Feature.
The Simple SavorIes.

Olives, sailed nuts and the hit OF
cheese" a fashion of our grandmother
time, when INDUCED in with moderation
are innocent enough in themselves and not
only spossess considerable food value but
act as mild digests. But with these, as
in regard to everything else, observe tenn
perance and do not eat more than enough
because they taste good; a childish habit
many grown people have not OVercOme.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-10-29
SEATTLE Is INTER.
NATIONAL RAllWN
hort Line TO oil posso 10
BRITISH COLUMBlA

Train No. l. tor Snahosnlsh.
Woolley aud Vancouver leaves <
BM a. m Arrives samAs - 3 -. ~
nacstng vita G&nk1ssn fAc4tse fANew n
al points East. Arrives a. fsnsessS
4. m .n~t Y
So - m. Leaves Aumas fiE -
riYes Seattle sac . M -. -
Train Nc daily lnAyse hNstl~ ~.
q ~. Arrives a. Ngaiiey SIS = ss
meeting eth knoa4Alsnie ana
branches daily eNeept sunday, - -
Train No 4 daily leaves Noesey -
nj Arrives Seattle 1850 a. M. 49,
Ing With Everett and HM~ssS
branches Daily e1ssF; sunday -,
TrainH Noz 5 and 8 "a kre.sssstSs
hfamgh rtIn only - and from "a. S%r
Agent. A-attis, 49,
X. T. BRETZ go
General Passenger Agent eesttss.. -.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1900-10-29


round trip. sc,
LANDING at White Star dock, foot az
spring street
Trigphoue Main IS
sKAGTT RIVER ROUTE, -~ steamer
skagit Queen.
I~2ves Seattle wednesday. Ocsohnr
II al IL midnight leaves SIT vernon
Tuesday. October -. az . m calling
Al EArants, StSnwood Ffr. SkagIt city
Naant Vernon and Avon.
For passenger ard freight ratea zgpiy
az city asck Telaahons, Main 81 gsaf.
tie. Wash.
FOR wHIpRY ISLAND FONTS Ann
"a CONNER Steamer FATrHAxry
leaves Central dock. Seattle daily alta
"A except Sundays Returning leaves IA
Conner A. o IN. except saadaFs touch.
irw Al EaraenHs Clinton. rFown'a Point
Tarrirv CaupcTfIle. San 6A FurM o.k
parpcr. rTt~REadB aut Ia Conner.
"a CONNER TRADING q TRANs
poRTATToS COMPANY. Ownsrs Tel.
sphoue Maln NJ
HOODS CANAL PORT LUDLOW AND
GAMBLE ROUTE
STEAMER poDE
Leaves Colombia Street Dock Mondays
wednesdays and Fridays a. m.
Resugnlng On alternate days
TeseEhone. Black xL
W. T. GAFTSER.
Manager.