The age-herald., 1900-09-20
SKETCHES FROM
 EVERYDAY LIFE


 ent Phillips of the public schools. Thirty five hundred and seventy-five pupils start ed to school Many of these had to be classified, and the superintendent was kept busy all day receiving reports from the various schools, and attending to many details incident to his office A stream of visitors was passing in and out of his of- flee all the morning. In the ante room where several sat awaiting their turn to see him few noticed little boy about ten years old who sat alone at one of the tables standing an examination He was to be classified. He sat silent at his task, and around him on the table were spread vari- ous sheets of paper, covered over with hlerogiyphics, which a close inspection showed to be examples in fractions. It was beautiful day, and the windows of the office were wide open. The boy sat with his elbows on the table; he had for gotten or given up the fractions in despair, and his gaze sought the windows, through which could be seen the sparrows chirpinS and fitting from branch to branch revel- ing in their freedom and immunity from fractions. Doubtless feeling of envy took possession of the boys heart He was very young; he did not know the fractions, and he did not know what to do. So he sat and gazed, watching the people come and go, while the sheets of paper filled with imperfect fractions lay strewn on the ta- ble in pathetic uselessness.
 Lives there the man who cannot sympa- thize with this boy? Has he never in his schoolboy days been in the same predica- ment? Has he ever been classified? Was there not time in his life when arithme- tic seemed to him as to Alice in Wonder 1n ar tion uglyficaton and derision?
 
 The musical critic had just had drink, and he became reminiscent. Il wonder" said he. what has become of the red-nosed man. There was time many years ago when red noses were common. You could see them on the streets, where they made quite a goodly proportion of the popula- tion. He was quite fixture in literature and on the stage. One of Dickens most enjoyable characters in Pickwick Papers was the red-nosed man--the Rev MT. Stig- gins. No comic play was complete without him, and no temperance lecturer ever neg lected a by no means flattering reference to his proboscis But now he Is never seen. He has passed away along with the pox- marked man. l remember when young that pox-marked faces were very common. but now you seldom see one. This may be accounted for, however by the practice of vaccination and the stamping out of the smallpox. But the red-nosed man has no such excuse for his disappearance Bar rooms are more plentiful today than ever, yet in spite of their increase the red-nosed man is becoming extinct. I would like to know the scientific reason, if there is any,
 
 Just after the civil the smallpox be- came epidemic throughout the south. Dis ease of some kind seems always to follow a war. It Is not surprising when you con sider the large number of dirty men that constitute army. It is not their fault. Cleanliness is next to Godness. and war. as Sherman says is He'll
 There Is no Godliness there, and certainly there is no cleanliness. So it is only natural that there should be smallpox and other diseases, especially skin diseases. The army of the United States on their return from Cuba brought over as souvenir the Cuban itch. Several cities report this disease as existing, and some remarks of Dr. Harris Kelly, superintendent of the Eruptive Hos pital at Louisville, on this subject may be interesting. Dr. Kelly, when asked whether any cases of Cuban itch had come under his notice replied:
 q don't think that there is any such dis ease as Cuban itch. It is probably mis- taken for tinea lycass, which Is always ac- compauied by hypertrophy Of the malphigh- ian startum and resulting in purulent infil- tration and general cuticular hyperaemia and hyperphasia. This disease is known to the profession and is generally treated by empirical therapensis, hyrotherpy unguents and manual manipulation"
 As a general thing, Dr. Kelly admitted, people do not die from this complaint.
 If people do not die from this complaint it is because the doctors are kind enough not to tell them what is the matter. Ger tainly if patient were informed as speci- fically as Dr. Kelly knows how, and In his graphic language, exactly the nature of his disease, his death would be foregone con- clusion.
 Doctors indulge in high sounding words. This Is incident to learned profession. A man who can hide his meaning behind poly syllabical declarations is a much brighter man than one who can say only what he means. This seems to be usually con ceded. Brownings reputation as poet largely depends on his ability to hide his meaning If his meaning was clear, there
 
 be quickly classed among the vulgar poets. Talleyrand it was, who said that language was invented to conceal thought, and this idea has not been wasted on the medical profession.
 In court the otiier: day damage suit was being tried against railroad. The plaintiff had had his leg hurt in an acci- dent. The physician who described his in- jury said he had a compound comminuted fracture of the patella. This sounded weird, frightful and mysterious. The real meaning of the physician was that the mans knee-cap had been smashed
 A year or two ago man went to see an occulst His eyes had been troubling him, and he wanted to know what was the matter. The occulist informed him that he had astigmatic conjunctlvitis This in the English language meant that his eye lids were somewhat unframed and that his vision was not good. It is worth much more to cure a man of astigmatic con- junetYris than of infamed eyes.
 de I uba