The Taney County republican., 1900-11-29

lie also continued to shock all the
refined instincts of the Edwards
family by his uncouth manners and
dress.
The Edwards girls determined to
try the clevating influence of society
and association with young women.
L hey gave an evening party and babe
"Bilp be present as the guest of honor.
lie accepted Invitation with alacrity,
appeared in his working clothes with
his black hair plastered down on his
brow, and was the only person pres
ent who was not in the least embar-
rassed. He sat down in the music
room. put his feet on the piano stool.
and laughed SO loudly at Taney
county story told by himself that
several nervous young women almost
went into hysteria.
So the weeks went by and "Bill's"
clothes finally reached stage where
it seemed necessary to adopt heroic
measures. "Bill was told as tactfully
as possible that he must get q new
suit. He obcycd orders. He came
home one night wearing an outfit
that would have made the fortune of
low comedian. In texture it re-
sembled laprobe with the small pox,
and in color it was modelled after a
cake of mottled CASTLE soap. One of
the trousers legs had been amputated
below the knee, and the coat was
suffering from enlargement of the
shoulder blades. After one glimpse
of "Bill's" new suit the Edwards
family gave it up. "Bill" was evi-
IDENTIFY intended as permanent in-
Fiction. They would do the best
they could under the circumstances
and make no further effort to accom-
complish the impossible.
Then just when the dark clouds of
despair seemed to have settled down
for good over the Edwards family
bright CLEAN of hope lighted up the
horizon. At first it seemed too good
to be true. Then suddenly it widen
cd, until from nadir to zenith all was
light. In the short space of two
months "Bill" was transformed into
Mr.. William Clarence Edwards, with
his name engraved on steel. his feet
encased in patent leather, and his
garments the satorial model for a
large section of the South Side.
Most people will jump to the con-
clusion that girl was responsible
for this wonderful transformation
scene. As matter of fact girl had
nothing to do with it. An accidental
umbrella was the cause OF it all.
The Edwards family have rich
uncle who lives IN New York. Each
year he sends q Christmas box con-
tanning presents for all his nephews
and nieces. This year he had hap
pened to hear that "Bill" was a new
addition to the family. Accordingly
"Bill's" name went on the Christmas
list, and when the box was opened
among tho other gifts was found
fine gold-headsd sill K umbrella with
civilian G. Edwards" engraved in
fancy script on the handle. The
New York Uncle was a man who
bought the best Of everything when
it came to Christmas presents, and,
accordingly the new umbrella was q
most impressive piece Of furniture.
The silk was heavy and lusirous, the
stick was Of some rare wood, aud the
head was u massive aud heavy crook
Of gold. "Bill's" previous experience
with umbrellas had been extremely
limited. He had always gone on the
principle that rain was calculated to
make both vegetables and boys grow
faster. The mere feel Of the new
umbrella in hand oppressed him.
But ii was by far the ra:est aud most
valuable of his possessions, aud he
felt in duty bound to carry it. The
first night when he came home from
| the store It was noticed with shock
of surprise that he had had his
boots blacked. The next morning
! <l,r