davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-05-20
Judas MT the Pillow.

1t is full of champagne and race horses
and going a-fishing, but alas, it is also
full Of blighted souls.
Let me herewith present you the
picture of Captain Kidd, the pirate.
He was a la who had honor and
fame and the respect of the world
within his reach. He had only to keep
on being good to arrive at that point
where men would doff their hats to
him and fall over each other
to get a view of the back of his neck.
Then he suddenly changed. He flung
his goodness to the winds and went in
to be a screaming old pirate. He was
a hummer from Hummersville. He
knocked seven bells out of everything
he came across, and had money to
bury on every island he came across.
He thought he was having a high old
time and that it would last to his
eighty-ffth year and that he would
then give $40, 900 to an orphan asy-
AAAA ~ dAO ia hAo ONA+ AL VI 1oA
know how he ended. He was still
prancing and cavorting and high roll
ing when the law seized him, and he
was hung by the neck. He figured it
all out before he went his way, and he
came to the conclusion that he hadn't
been in it. He wrote it down on his
shirt collar in red ink that his having
had a high old time was all a mis-
take and that the farmer who had
stuck to corn and potatoes was ahead
OF the pirate business. I see before
me a bald-headed, broad-backed man,
who is evidently itching to become a
pirate bold. | call on him to pause ere
it is too late.
Let us take. a still more historical
case. Behold the picture Of Judas Is
CARROT. 1t is a sketch made of him
while he was a young man, and you
see that he holds the pillow behind an
OK. Judas was a tiller of the soil for
many years. He was naturally good,
and daily contact with nature added to
his goodness. He came TO be known
far and wide as a nan who always
shoveled the snow of his sidewalk
clear up to the line, and If he had a
lawsuit about a line fence he didn't
drag in the whole country. When he
went up to Jerusalem, he was honored
and respected Of all men, and his daily
life was without a blot. No one has
tried o explain why Judas suddenly
made up his mind TO change and give
things away. He was rewarded with
"a pieces of silver. but he had no note
coming due and was not hard up for
cash. But change he did, and he no
doubt expected to have high old times
and lead the band His career, as you
all know, was brief and rocky. Things
didn't turn out a ne hoped for. He
was Stunned Of men, lodged Of dogs
and died without having enjoyed him.
self for a day. | am now looking at a
man in this audience who closely re-
sembles Judas Iscariot and who may be
planning 10 sell and cut loose. II so,
let my words sink deep into his heart
when ! say that the result Of badness
is inevitable. 1t may prosper for q
short time but the bad man u busted
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-05-20
POSTUM POLITICS.
The Hon. Nickel Plated Hastings
Scores IA Hit.

h Hon. Nickel Plated Hastings
Scores IA Hit.
There was the usual enthusiastic au-
dience in Paradise hall when Brother
Gardner introduced the speaker of the
evening as the Hon. Nickel Plated
Hastings Of Tennessee. Mr.. Hastings
had no record as a politician. He
started out thirty years ago to make
n and would tell the audience why
he failed. He was known as "the
colored philosopher of Tennessee" ana
had written poetry and invented a
cure for chilblains, but he bore his
honors meekly and rated himself only
as a humble citizen. (Cheers OF greet
ing.)
The honorable appeared to be a man
about so years old. He had a hump
to his back and feet which were set
on at an awkward angle, but his smile
was bland and his voice full of molas-
ses as he stepped forward and said:
My dear people: I'ze glad { o meet
up wild yo'. If l had had my choice
between gwine to a circus tonight
and standin' what I does, de circus
wouldn't hev bin in it. (Grand APP
plause.) Down in my ole Tennessee
home l had mapped out my pro-
gramme fur de summer. l was gwine
to cotch a few coons befo' de hides
got soft; plant a few yams, write
another book Of poetry an experiment
a leetle wild ha'r lie. / had got it all
planned out when long comes de news
dat de representative men of our race
had got together in dis city an organ
lied de Postum Party. (Cheers.) Dat
changed my plans. l read ober de
platform an put IN my hat an started
fur de MORT. an we're l am. prolonged
cheers.) I'ze come up to hev a leetle
talk. ("That's what we want.") As
80 vars ago to be a politician. l
walked up to de poles an voted de hull
ticket. l went round talkin' an argu-
in an carryin' banners an torches, an
when de campaign closed / couldn't
speak a loud word on account Of my
hoarseness. I'd busted my ~suspenders,
worn out my shoes an used up my
breath to help de party git dar. When
it was all ober, l axed fur my reward,
M, T eyo+ ~ (capua4fop Arfor I GOT
out of Jail / proved dat another pus-
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-05-20
Captain Kidd.

While other young men were off to the
circus and races he was at home help
ing his mother cut carpet rags or
whitewash the cellar. He retired to his
couch at 5 o'clock at night instead OF
whooping things up at the Tivoli. He
rose with the lark, and he rose without
a head on him. no swearing, no smok-
in, no drinking-just goodness. One
day, after young Nero had been saw
ing a cord OF hickory wood in two, he
sat down to rest his back and figure a
bit. The result was that he decided
to make q change. He had come t o the
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-05-20
Mere, the Whitewasher.

slab sided son of a father in this audi
ence who conscientiously feels that I
ought to be sat down on, then let him
hang on to his nickel. The collection
is finished and the proceeds counted.
The $50 enlightened and cultivated peo-
pie before me have Clipped in about
half a cent apiece, and my labors can
be continued in other fields.
My dear people, l want to say a few
words to you this evening about the
badness of human nature. 1t is easy
to be bad. There is also a good deal
of fun in it. 1t is the bad mar who
has a fur lined overcoat in winter, a
duck suit in summer and champagne
and ice cream in the intervals. As 1
turn the stereopticon light on the can
vas you behold the picture Of Nero. Up
to the age of "a he was a good man.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-05-20

inf1uence-to be one of the stepping
stones, as it were"
We'll, you'll get stepped on fast
enough. Your committee is ringing the
doorbell, and I'll go up stairs. Don't
get SO excited over reform as to put a
mortgage on the furniture"
Mr. Bowser received the committee.
There were five of them. They were
headed by an ex-alderman who had
deliberately sacrificed a 81 ticket to
a boxing match in the interests of
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-05-20

stairs and quietly asked:
81 thought I heard a roaring, boom
ing sound down here, and | came down
to see if the wave of reform had been
set in notion"
Mr.. Bowser glared at her, but made
no reply.
'Or won't the wave start until you
get our whack of aldermanic steal
ings?" she continued.
Mr.. Bowser gasped and choked, but
he could not get out a word, and as
Mrs. Bowser returned to her room the
cat followed ner and left him to won
der how the bottom mad dropped out.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-05-20

political reform. Even before all the
gentlemen had taken their seats he
whispered in Mr.. Bowser's ear:
Say, old man, if you want this
movement to be a success you want
to bring up decanter and glasses. The
boys are expecting something at least
Z years old"
Mr.. Bowser turned pale, but said
nothing in reply. Neither did he pro-
duce the antidote for dry cotton.
When the committee were seated, he
looked them over and mentally re-
joiced that Mrs. Bowser had not
caught sight of them. Then he said:
Gentlemen, as 1 wal given to I'M
derstand this thing this afternoon, the
idea is reform in politics"
That's it," chorused the five.
eve propose to start a wave of re-
form which shall roll from Maine to
Texas?"
I'VE do"
Il am no politician, as I informed
your delegate. / have never held a
political Office in my life. There
have been years at a time when l have
no even gone to the polls to vote"
But you are the man for us, and
we'll figure a bit. You don't happen
to have anything in the house to drink
eh?"
Il haven't"
"You ought to have prepared for the
wave of reform, but we can all go out
to a saloon after the business is done.
I've got Jul ward ticket made out.
You see, the boys want me for alder
man again. l don't think any of 'em
had reason to complain of ne when
l was n"
Not much!" answered one Of the
group with great heartiness. 1T was
always a square divide"
And what is my part in the cam
paign to be-" asked Mr.. Bowse- as he
laid down the ticket.
Speaking sir" was the reply. you
are to go about speaking and start the
wave"
and wave this crowd int Office. 1
suppose?"
That's it. and you'll find it a paying
job, too. Here are the figures"
"The figures about what?'
1.-THE profits, sir. There are six of
us, and 1 figure that there will be at
least $4,000 to divide among US per
year. You'll get your whack of that
as straight as a string. Any campaign
funds you advance are to be paid
back o of the pot before it's divided.
Is that plain?"
Il don't think 20. We start in to
reform?"
1--WE do"
And we reform?'
I'VE do"
And then-then what?"
we divide the profits"
But how 90 we make any proit?"
Why, we crowd the other fellers out
and get their places and their chances,
don't We? A blind man can see that.
Got your first speech ready?"
Mr.. Bowser had about 20 words to
say in reply. They were words that
lifted each member of the committee
out of his chair and opened his eyes
very wide. Then he headed the pro-
cession down the hall. and the cat
brought up in the rear. 1t was a SOL
emn procession. There was painful
silence as each caller put on his hat.
All were ready to go out when the ex-
alderman said:
"Old man, you've t'rown dis crowd
down, but don't get giddy over it. We
know how to get even"
Good night, strand good night,
sir" stiffly replied Mr.. Bowser as he
bowed each one out and closed the door
with a bang.
He was standing in front of the man.
tel when Mrs. BoEser came down
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-05-20
Mr.. Bowser Turned Pale.

Mr' bOWstE IuFHcU ENHe'
be from three to five. Yes, this even
Ing may be considered an epoch in our
history" ~
IF there are any epochs going on, l
should like to know what ,Ehey are.
Hadn't you better explain matters?"
Mr.. Bowser walked UP and down for
a few minutes with dignifed tread, and
the family cat, which had been sleep
Ing on the lounge. opened n eye in a
lazy way and watched his movements.
BY and by he turned and said:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-05-20
@. HOPE JONES.
He Lectures ON BADNESS and Points
a Moral.

a Moral.
Copyright, 1900, by c. 3. Lewis.)
Fellow Citizens of Oshkosh-Permit
me to say that am proud and grateful
for this large attendance this evening.
Although the admission is free and
everybody came expecting a chrome as
a free gift, | am grateful all the same.
Before beginning my lectures it is usu-
al for me to take up a collection, and l
will now proceed with the task. This
collection is not necessarily an evil
dence of your good faith in anything
particular but is intended to pay my
back rent and laundry bills and assist
me to reach Beaver Dam. It doesn't
matter to the undersigned whether you
give c%heerfully or grudgingly, so long
as you give. A liberal spirit on your
part will still further me,
but if there is n single knock-kneed,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-05-20

and laid low when his pride is greatest.
1t may not pay above 8 per cent Il be
good, but with a clear conscience, a
good crop of potatoes and a sure in
terest on your money you can fall
asleep on the cellar stairs or the kitchen
root and know that all will be well
with you when the cows come home
to be MIXED.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-05-20
MR.. B0wSER'S TRIBULATIoNs.
He Jumps Into the Reform Party and
Out Again

Out Again.
Copyright, 1900, by c. B. Lewis.)
That Mr.. Bowser had something on
his mind was plain enough to Mrs.
Bowser the moment he entered the
house, and all through the dinner hour
she saw that he was anxious to COM
municate it. but she expressed no curl
osity and held him off until they were
seated for the evening. Then she care
lessly inquired if he had discovered a
new spring and summer tonic.
Il shall have callers this evening""
he said, as he smiled at her b~enignly,
"and the result Of the call may change
our whole life."
What sort of callers?"
Gentlemen, of course. There will
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
Despai1rnr the Forests.

In spite of expedients and the sub
stitution Of coal for fuel, and iron for
walls, bridges, piers and ships, the de-
mand for wood of all kinds is still on
the increase. Our immense railroad
system alone is using in this country
10000, 900 OF wooden ties. Boxes, toys,
paper, charcoal and numberless other
articles necessary to comfort or lux
ury are eating up the forests OF the
world, until it takes no prophet to pre-
dict that the day is not far distant
when a scarcity will prevail. In ad-
dition to this, forest fires devour hun
dreds of acres Of trees yearly.-New
York Tribune
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
Another Masonic Temnla Rnrn.h-

London, Ont, Feb. 26.-The Masonic
Temple is destroyed by fire. Nothing
remains but the walls. The Great
Northwestern Telegraph Office, Shea's
wholesale liquor store, the Office OF the
Northern Life Insurance company, the
Grand opera house, the Dominion Loan
and Savings company's place and 9th
ers are all in ruins. The Masonic Tenn
pie was the finest structure in the city.
The loss viii be about 5000, 900. The
fire is said to have originated on the
stage of the opera house.
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
Queen victorIa,s Three CROWNS.

Queen Victoria has three crowns,
none OF which is used except on ex-
traordinary occasions. The crown
which she wore in the last grand recep-
ton weighs eight ounces. 1t is of pure
gold and set with 2,673 diamonds and
with 523 rubies. The other two crowns
are simple bands of gold, each set with
gorgeous jewels. 1t is one of these
latter crowns which is worn when the
queen opens parliament When she ap-
pears in the house of lords the large
crown is taken from it's place among
the crown jewels in the tower Of Lon
don and borne on a velvet cushion
ahead Of the queen.
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
rhawIng Out Frozen Plants.

It not infrequently occurs that plants
shipped late in the fall or during the
winter season, in mild weather, are
caught by severe weather and become
frozen. Many persons would think
them perhaps fatally injured and OF
little value; but exposure to frost Is
not harmful provided the plants may
thaw gradually, unexposed to light and
heat. The best plan, therefore, Is to
let the box remain unopened, and put
it in a cool cellar. 1t may take week
or more to thaw out; but under proper
conditions there will be no harm dones
-Meehan's Monthly.
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
Relief Came Promptly

"DEAR Mrs. PINKHAM:-I had been
under treatment with the doctors for
four years, and seemed to get no better,
1 thought would try your medicine.
Ny trouble was change of life, and I
must say that I never had anything
help me so much as Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound Relief
came almost Immediately. I have
better health now than ever had. I
feel like a new woman, perfectly
strong. 1 give Lydia E. Pinkham's
Compound all the credit, and would
not do without her medicine for any
thing. 1 have recommended it to
several of my friends. There is no
need of women suffering so much for
Mrs. Pinkham's remedies are a sure
cure. - MAHALA BUTLER, Bridge
water, Ill,
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
ItaIy's DeveIopement.

Italy is developing rapidly as an cleo.
trical and manufacturing country. Its
immense water powers are the moving
influences. Through the Harvesting OF
its numerous streams which rush dowr
the Alps it can secure enormous pow.
er at mere nominal cost. The Italian
naval authorities have just placed con-
tracts for 81 900 tons of steel wire shiI
material-Philadelph Record.
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
Color in medical Practice.

The use of colors as part of medi-
cal treatment is not a new one. Red
light, for example, has been recently
advocated in the treatment Of measles
and smallpox. Jean Gaddesden cured
the son of Henry l., king of England,
of smallpox by surrounding the prince
with scarlet, clothing him in scarlet as
well as all his attendants, and having
red carpets and hangings in the room.
The record shows this succeeded so
well that his face was not even
ccarred
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
FOR MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN.

Two Letters from Women Helped Thrsugh
the 'Chaase OF Life" by Lydia z. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound.
wrote to you was in very bad con-
dition. was passing through the
change of life, and the doctors said I
had bladder and liver trouble. 1 had
suffered for nine years Doctors failed
to do me any good Since have taken
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, my health has improved very
much. Will gladly recommend your
medicine to others and am sure that it
will prove as great a blessing to them
as 1t has to me."-MRs. GEO. II. JUNE,
9O1 DeKalb Ave. BROOKLYN. y. Y.
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
The Philippine Commission.

Washington, Feb. EFT is officially
oers of the new Philippine commission
had been selected. They are: Judge
Taft of Ohio; Luke E. Wright of Ten
nesee; II. c. Ide of Vermont and Dean
Worcester of Michigan. The fifth
member will be announced later. It
is generally believed he will be Ber-
aard Moses of California.
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
Admiral Dewey at Wheeling.

Wheeling, W. Va, Feb. 24.-Wheel-
tng's ovation to Admiral Dewey was
enthusiastic. The parade was prevent
ed by the weather. Rain had been
falling almost continuously.
The exercises took place in a large
hall at which time the sword subscribed
for by the citizens of Wheeling was
presented to lieutenant Doddridge by
Admiral Dewey and the orations in
cident to the dedication of the tablet
commemorating the siege of Fort Hen
~, or the last battle of the revolution
we're delivered.
At night Admiral Dewey was ban
quoted by the Sons of the Revolution.
Ticket Agents Best Cow Gone Dry.
Chicago, Feb. 27.-Al hopes of ticket
agents that dissensions would lead to
resumption of commissions have been
been destroyed. The Canadian Pacific
and its 500 line agreed at Montreal &c
act in concert with the other American
roads and cease all commissions after
March l. The Grand Trunk had agreed
some time ago to stop paying commits
sions in the United States and now thai
the Canadian Pacific has agreed to join
it viii cease to pay commissions in
Canada
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10

a twenty=fze-miIe railway for the
Philippines was recently packed In the
hold OF steamship at San Francisco.
Everything needed for the railroad was
sent except the ties, which WILL be OBJ
tanned in the islands. It is said that
the railway will be used to extend the
thirty miles of railroad now controlled
by the American troops.
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10

During the Franco-German war the
German artillery fred $4,000 shots,
and the infantry 100000 0O This ter
rible hail of shot and bullets, sufficient
to exterminate a nation. resulted in a
loss Of $4,000 men to the French. Thus
every Frenchman killed involved an
expenditure of bullets sufficient to kill
a regiment.-Collier's Weekly.
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
Railroads Complaining Too.

Chicago, Feb. 27.-The railroad oper
ating departments stand appalled, al
prospective July business. One mana
ger said: Ordinarily the Fourth o:
July excursions take up every coach
available on railroads all over the
country. In addition to the Demo
cratic National convention this year
the railroads will have to haul dele
gates to the convention of the National
Association of Teachers in the south
and to the National Christian EndeavoI
convention. Somebody will have tc
suffer. While sleeping and chair cars
will be available for far-away delega-
lions, there will be an absolute lack OF
ordinary coaches in which to trans
port delegate and convention visitor:
from nearby states. This cannot be
overcome by securing coaches from
other parts of the country, for the
same conditions will exist all over the
union"
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10

You will enjoy this publication much
better if you will get in the habit OF
reading the advertisements: they will
afford a most interesting study and
some excellent bargains. Our adver-
tisers are reliable and send what they
advertise.
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
For Wireless Steering.

An invention for steering any craft,
by means of an ether wave on the
wireless telegraph principle has been
perfected In naval war it is expected
to make the torpedo boat almost in
falIible In this respect it will equal
the famous Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters. which never fails to cure
constipation, indigestion, dyspepsia,
biliousness and malaria
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
An An-Yenr Reaorf

The Crescent Hotel. Eureka Springs, Ark,
oDens March 1, 1900. 4 most desirable, at
trzcfixa and convenient resort for health and
pleasure seekers Ideal climate, pure sparkling
vater best accommodations Through Sleep
ers via Frisco Line Write for particulars 70
Manager Hotel or TO any representative OF
Frisco Line
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
GREAT BARGAINS For Az

The ads of the John NJ. Smyth Co.
IN another column OF this paper should
be OF interest to every reader. The
hrm is one Of the largest in the United
States and is thoroughly reliable.
Their catalogue of everything to eat,
wear and use is a mammoth one and
complete in every particular. Write
Tor il today
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10

When Nineveh and Babylon were In
the splendor Of their might men In
China were predicting ecltpses, max
ing catalogues and giving names to the
stars. But Nineveh and Babylon were
mere mounds of earth and rubbish
when China was great, and to this date
the civilization and life Of the empire
is the wonder Of the world.
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10

STATE OF OHIO, CITY OF TOLEDO
LUCAS COUNTY,
Frank ]. Cheney makes oath that he IS the
senior partner of the firm OF F. J: Cheney & Co.
doing business in the City of Toledo, County
and State aforesaid, and that said firm will pay
the sum Of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for
each and every case of Catarrh that cannot be
cured by the use of Halls Catarrh Cure.
FRANK J. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
presence, this 9th day of December, A. d. 1885
A. W. GLEASON,
lSEALJ Notary Public
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, and
acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces
of the system. Send for testimonials. free.
F. ]. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, u
Sold by Druggists. 75c-
Halls Family Pills are the best
Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1900-03-10
To Cos, Dran.zs ws.hous 1oA

Drinks may be cooled without rs
ing ice by wrapping the bottle in q
cloth wrung ont of cold water Then
stand 1t In a vessel filled with cold
water, place the vessel on a window sill
and create a draught by means OF an
open door