davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
FLASHES OF Fun.

Indianapolis Journal: what is bache-
lor, Aunt Martha?'
oh, he's a man who thinks every girl
that looks at him intends to marry him
Chicago News: Don't you pity these
girls who marry foreign titles?'
No; any girl who Is a genuine American
ought to give the man the worst of IT,"
cleveland Plain Dealer; you say the
II an stole your umbrella p"
well, | don't want TO he too sure about
it. He may have been the original owner
Washington Star: "Therc's no doubt
mond in his nccktie; that man is a genuine
patriot
why, he can get up as much enthusiasm
over an election as he does over a prize
Chicago Record: This is a nice round
steak" remarked the landlady, as she
lit may be madam spoke up the
comedian boarder, but it VIII take a
miracle TO make 1t go around
Boston Transcript: Mrs. Fogg-A gentle
man called to see you, David, this morn
Mr. Fogg-Did he have anything to say?
Mrs. Fogg-Only that he would call again.
Mr.. Fogg-HmIevidently a dun, but 10
give warning of his second coming betrays
fnexpericnce. Reckon there's no great dan
ger from him.
chicago News MIS- DlSS'iiDM
you are so successful in managing your
husband?
Mrs. Biggs-Oh, | simply feed him well
and trust to luck.
Harlem Life: "D!d you know that Miss
Bjones was going to marry young SMITH
IL knew it; but ! cannot understand how
a girl as intelligent as she Is can consent
to marry a man stupid enough to want to
marry her.
Chicago News: He-How long should a
man know a girl before proposing?
She-That depends on his income.
indianapolis Journals: IF all the money
in the world were divided equally, each
person would get about $50"
us that so? Well, L move we let things
stay as they are"
Golfers Weekly: Husband-My dear,
want to ask you one favor before you go off
on that long visit.
Wife-A thousand, my love. What is it?
Husband-Don't try to put the house in
order before you leave.
Wife-It isn't hard work.
Observation-Disclosures not; but think of the
expense Of telegraphing to you every time
| want to find anything.
Chicago Tribune: what shiftless people
there must have been living or earth at
the beginning of thu Christian era" ex-
claimed the man who was all tangled up
over this twentieth century business.
How SOP asked the person who hap
pened in for the purpose of helping out the
dialogue.
Because nobody appears to have been
able to look out for number j.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

The present is an age noted for the
meet the needs of man. None have
been developed to greater perfection
than the injunction, but it remained for
an Iowa man to 20 the limit by secur-
ing Il writ to prevent the marriage of
his daughter. AS love laughs at lock-
smiths, Cupid will doubtless be able to
break Jail if sent up for contempt.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
The treatment of American

The treatment of American prisoners
by the Filipinos will have n tendency to
make thinking opponents of the admin
istration adjust their spectacles and
wonder if their optics have not been
playing them false on the Philippine
question. BarbarOus acts are not the
work of a people intent on ~self-goveru-
ment Of an enlightened character such
as modern civilization demands.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

The voting machine is said TO be Il
handicap to the ignorant voter. Wonder
if that is the reason the democratic or
gan Is having such tantrums over its
prospective adoption for the coming mu-
nicipal election.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Numerous democrats have denied that
an effort is being made to displace the
present leadership of the party and
place it In the hands of ex-senator Cor
man. But 1t is noticeable the Maryland
ex-senator and his close friends are not
among those who make the denial.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
Personal AND OTHER WISE.
Captain Leary of Guam is monarch OF al
he surveys.

Captain Leary of Guam is monarch of all
he surveys.
Sigmar Mohring, editor of a Berlin comic
raper. has been sent to prison for six months
for making fun of the Catholic church. This
is no joke.
A gifted Boston scientist has constructed
r diagram to prove that the twentieth cen
fury will begin next year, and now Boston
10 longer doubts it.
Senator Hale, with his own wealth and
that which was added by his marriage with
a daughter of the late Senator Chandler of
Michigan, is a multi millionaire.
1t is related of a popular lecturer now
touring a portion OF the country that his
tickets OF admission read: Lecture by DR..
Henson of Chicago on 'Grumblers.' Admit
one"
Captain sigsbee, the hero of the Maine,
and who viii take charge of the naval in
telligence bureau on February !, has pur-
chased a house in Washington which will
be occupied by the Sigsbee family.
The first official act OF Mayor Hart OF Bos-
ton on taking office on Monday last was the
appointment of Patrick A. Collins, whom
he defeated at the recent election, TO be a
member OF the special commission for the
revision of city ordinances. Mr.. Collins was
formerly a member OF this commission, but
resigned in September last, when it was
decided that he was to be a candidate for
the mayoralty.
In the opinion of the Chicago News the
historic Goldfish Of Boston, so long displayed
as the city's heraldic crest, must now hide
it's diminished head. Its glory pales before
the matchless brilliancy which must Hume
the first fish caught in the Chicago river
in thirty years. That fish, preserved and
gildod. should be set on high in the city
council chamber and kept there that future
generations may see and marvel at the
sight.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Senator Pettigrew is wearing away
his life sitting up nights writing resolu-
tlons to introduce in the senate, The
production of one each day must be n
severe tax upon his and If
congress does not wish TO see him pros
trated from overwork It should take a
short vacation to give him a rest.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

The English generals in Africa have
t%elcgraphed the American commanders
in the Philippines for the recipe for max
ing their opponents run. Genera Otis
has offered to trade it for the English
method Of inducing them to stop and
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
rnseemIr jest. nj the Mnkc.

KANSAS Clty star.
A rare flash Of humor in the speech Of
MIR. Bryan, at the annual banquet Of the
Nebraska Travelling Mems club at Lincoln,
was the observation that the November
elections destroyed the last hope OF those
who sought to modify the creed enunciated
at Chicago in 1896" MIR. Bryan probably
meant that it would be vain to modify what
had been utterly demolished.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Scarcely II week passes without an
announcement of some new business en-
terprise establishing itself in Omaha.
AS an attractive field for capital invest
mcnts Omaha is not to be eXcelled by
any of its competitors.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Our amiable %popocratic contemporary,
which Is so anxious to have the Slocumb
law enforced in all its drastic provisions,
is reminded of the fact that the county
attorney is n popocratic official, who is
doubtless ready to carry out any orders
that do not interfere with the revenue
of the gang.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
The civil service rules under which

The civil service rules under which
competent and faithful school teachers
enjoy protection against annual hold
ups and summary removals for frivolous
cause should not be disturbed. Any at
tempt to abolish the permanent tenure
rule will justly arouse public resentment
II stir up Il hornets nest over the
heads Of the school board.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Boss Tweed once inquired, What are
you going to do about it," when taken
t. task for misapprOpriating public
funds. Boss Tweed was landed in prison
in spite of his defiance. The ~eX-county
official who sent Il defy to the county
commissioners should have his challenge
as PROMPTLY accepted.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Every department. of the city is sure
that 1t needs greater appropriations for
maintenance the coming year than it
had the last year. 1t will devolve upon
the council to persuade most Of them
that their estimates can be considerably
contracted by wringing out the water in
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
STATE ELECTIONS OF 1900.
Figures that Indicate the Drift of
Public Sentiment.
Philadelphia Press.

Eleven states held elections in 1899 in
which general tickets were voted for and
in three other states there were elections
for legislatures or important county officers.
In the latter states the vote has not been
compiled and is known only approximately,
but in the eleven states the official vote
cast by the different parties has been de-
II is as follows.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
Mahomets Come to the Mountain,

The United States, having demonstrated
its right to the title, First in war" is
about to be conceded First in peace g"
Most of the nations on earth are clamoring
for American Intervention in the war in
South Africa.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

The interest of the taxpayers in the
police court is brought home by the
statement that only $261 were collected
from police court fines during the past
year for the benefit of the school fund.
Instead of being n source of income the
police court, as now conducted, is a posi-
tive burden. 1t is worth while for the
school board to look into the situation
with a view to revising the methods now
employed.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Senator Gear will read n title clear to
another six years term as soon as the
Iowa legislators can 90 through the
formality Of registering their votes
for him and certifying to his commas
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Again The Bee has scored Il notable
news beat on all it's alleged rivals in
the story of the unraveled murder mys-
terry at Kearney. The Bees d al
WAYS get the best and get it first.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
Some of Tie Omaha populists wa1ft to

know whether they will be allowed to
make suggestions as to the makeup of
the popocratic city ticket. That de
ponds upon the suggestions. If they
are modest enough to concede to the
democrats the whole piece of pie they
can suggest all they want.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
;. Mr.. RrOMn.

The eX-Rev. Mr.. Brown, who played
traitor to Lieutenant Gilmore's com
mand of prisoners while in the hands OF
the Filipinos, will probably tax up his
permanent abode with the sultan of
Chin
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
Bourbonism In some Things.

Anglo American civilization is obstinately
old fogyish in some matters. France has
adopted in all Official departments The sys-
tenn Of the "a o'clock day, following ID. eI-
ample OF Belgium and the railroads OF sew
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

A Kentucky court which was hearing
n murder case adjourned to witness n
fight in which W other men were
killed. At that rate the court can never
catch up with it's business.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
Times Evolution.
GIObo-D Democrat.

A steamship loaded with American coal is
on its way to the birthplace of Columbus.
The Genoese little thought in the time Of
their famous navigator that some day they
would be sending across the Atlantic for
fuel.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

eral European countries. To adopt this
method Of reckoning the hours OF the day in
England or the United States would require
more effort probably than TO establish the
mefrin svstnm-
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

How many birthdays did General
Jackson have and how many anhlVer'
saries of the battle of New Orleans DO
we have to celebrate!
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.

State Of Nebraska, Douglas County, SIS:
George Il. Tzschuck, secretary OF The Bee
Publishing Company, being duly sworn.
says that the actual number OF nun ana
complete copies Of The Daily, Morning,
Evening and Sunday Bee, printed during
the month of December, 1899, was as fol-
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
Coming Our way.
Journal.

ITTWIdIIHTVII6 JVWTTIdTs
For a government which is new in world
wide diplomacy it is certainly a triumph
for the United States TO obtain the open
door in China after Great Britain had
failed.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

senatorial contests disposed of with
n~eatness and dispatch" is the sign WHICH
the Iowa legislature hangs out.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09
Effect on Attire.


you're a brick cried a fellow named VIII
To his sister, nor took she it i'll 81 -s..'-.
Till he added. "Oh, yes,
You're but half-baked. or less,
But you're certainly dressed up to kim
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

The arrival of the man of destny mas
caused a sudden drop of l6 TO uesreeS
in the temperature.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

rho weather man is not under the
suspicion of being subsidized by 'he
coal barons.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Chicago Record: This is a nice round
steak" remarked the landlady, as she
welded her knife.
at may be madam" spoke up the
comedian boarder, but 1t Will take a
miracle TO make 1t go around
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Chicago News: Mrs. DiggS-IIow is 1t
you are so successful in managing your
husband?
Mrs. Biggs-Oh, | simply feed him well
and trust to luck.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Harlem Life: 'D!d you know that Miss
Bjones was going to marry young SMITH
~ knew it; but ! cannot understand how
a girl as intelligent as she Is can consent
to marry a mar stupid enough to want TO
marry her.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Chicago News: He-How long should a
man know a girl before proposing?
She-That depends on his income.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Washington Star: "Therc's no doubt
about it, said the man with a large dia-
mond in his necktie; that man is u genuine
patriot
How do YOU know"
"Why he can get up as much enthusiasm
over an election as he does over a prize
fight"
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Boston Transcript: Mrs Fogg-A gentle
nan called to see you, David, this morn
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

Cleveland Plain Dealer: You say the
ran stole your umbrella p"
We'll, | don't want TO he too sure about
1t. He may have been the original owner.
Omaha daily bee., 1900-01-09

TTTI
MIR. Fogg-Did he have anything to say?
Mrs. FoGg-Only that he would call again.
Mr.. Fogg-H'm-evidently Il dun, but to
give warning of his second coming betrays
inexpericnce. Reckon there's no great dan
ger from him.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-17
GOSSETT is A CANDIDATE.
ANNOUNCES For CONGRESS IN THE
SIXTH TEXAS DISTRICT.
Endorses the Chicago Platform.
Opposes N standing Army.

| Dallas. Texas, February i6--Hon. VI. II.
Gossett of Kaufman has formally an
bounced his candidacy for congress to sue
ceed Congressman Il. E. Burke.
In letter declaring his intention OF
becoming candidate for congress in the
Sixth district, Mr.. 1ossett says
Il believe the Chicago platform is a
sound declaration of democratic prin-
| ctrles, applied to conditions existing IN
1895. Though not always unit, and
sometimes betrayed by those claiming to
represent ii, the democratic party must
control the destiny OF this country SO lon
as there Is equality before the law, and
It's government constitutional. AS new
questions arise. as new issues have arisen,
The democratic party win find and adyo-
cate solutions, consistent with the pubiia
veal and the rights of the people under.
the constitution.
The course Of the republican party
IN dealing with the late Spanish pos ses-
slons IS characterized by bad faith both
win them and us. II Is the evident pur-
pose 10 sub1ugate people aspiring to he
free' and to forcibly annex the Philippine
Islands. This. in my judgment, is Ma
tlonal blunder scarcely less than a crime.
Ana yet | am not unmindful of the COM
pllcations and responsibilities which such
laundering has Imposed upon our govern
ment We must deal with the situation
as 1t is, and not as II ought 10 have been.
III the treatment OF existing problems. |
snail Keep IN mind however. the rights OF
men everywhere and the basic principles
OF our constitutional government.
am opposed 10 an increase in the
standing army We can safely depend
upon our volunteers to fight Just wars.
NO other should be fought,
am in favor Of the construction by
ms government of the Nicaragua canal
and the consequent legitimate expansion
Of commerce that would follow. am op-
posed to that commercial expansion which
comes through fire, sword ana conquest
II devolves upon the democratic marty
TO destroy trusts, which now uniustly
prey upon the public and which. il unre-
strained Will crush individual enterprise"
II is admitted that Mr. Gossett will
make very vigorous race. He is said 10
De certain Of three counties, kaufman
ELS and Navarro. Judge Burke is being
pushed closely in his own county by Hon
Dudley G. Wooten and his friends are
greatly alarmed over the outlook.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-17

That OF president and his cabinet officers
buttonholing senators TO support. on purely
partisan grounds, treaty that puts into
open effect a secret alliance. already evil
IDENTIFY in existence. or that OF senators
yielding to their opportunities while de-
nouncing this same treaty as involving a
surrender Of our rights to Great Britain.
II this treaty is to be ratified merely TO
enable the president and his cabinet to
carry out prior contract with a foreign
power, which involves a surrender Of
American right and dignity. 1t is far
better that the construction OF the canal
be abandoned until the people, aroused
to the enormity of this monstrous propo-
sition, shall place in control OF the Ma
tional government an administration not
so embarrassed and handicapped.
There is but one question of which
senators should feel called upon to dis
pose. when the Hay Pauncefote treaty
shall come before them for final action.
and that is whether it reyives and per-
petuates the Clayton Bulwer treaty by
taking away from this government the
rights Of fertilization and control. II It
does, It should go to eternal sleep In the
senatorial waste basket or be so amended
as TO preserve these rights beyond perad-
venture OF question. now or hereafter.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-17
SHOTS FIRED FROM AMBVa|
r. C. GATES, A PROMiNhNI 's7
MER, FATALLY WOUNDED
Thirteen Negroes Were sru'e
SMALL Shot, but None Of iN
Were seriously hur.

Montgomery, Texas. February NJ { !.
OF Mr.. f. C. Gates has Just isA Z,
medical aid for his father ana 'la Z,
negroes who were shot from ampu'a
night while camping on cypress Y" W.
twenty miles from Houston On ~ - I.
gomery road. Mr.. Gates has one g s
out and is not expected to i've ~
groes were all struck by sho'' -
hurt seriously. Young Gates SAVE /.
came to the camp after dals II
mained about half an hour. Ssss ~. z
he left about twenty-five snoIs mIr x
from shotguns loaded with s r.,s. Il
they had had no trouble and vs e, AZ
know the parties or the cause. III III +
d a prominent planter here az .ts., 4
groes farmers. They had so's ssfs
Houston and were returning n, X. M
party We're without arms. A'eI IN. ~ \ 3
ing young Gates drove all nYu
home and medical aid.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-17
ALL WERE ADMITTED TO BAIL
RESULT OF THE HADEAs CORPUS
HEARING AT BAsTROP.
walter Reese and Coleman, Five
Thousand Each, Less Reese and
Daniels Three Thousand Each.

Bastrop. Texas February 16.-In the
habeas corpus hearing Of the casa OF
Reese CT al. commenced yesterday, the
taking Of testimony WAS continued before
Judge Sinks until ABOUT o'clock this af-
terncon, when the cases were submitted to
ths Judge without argument lie declared
all the cases to be ballable and left 1t
with the attorneys to agree uron the
bonds, which were set as follows; Bonds
Of Walter Reese and Jim Coleman placed
Tom Daniels at $4,000 zach. Each of the
prisoners were required TO give bond in
the sum Of $500 In the case against them
Of assault with intent to murder viii Gle
ments. 1t Is stated that all the prisoners
VIII readily give bond as offers are in
from Brelham, Bell county, Lavaua
county aud elsewhere from prominent peo-
PIE TO go their bond or give fiuansill help
to any amount needed
Nothing sensational has developed and
perfect order has prevailed during the
two days trial. About ffty persons as
witnesses and friends are here from Col
orado county. the home of the pr s1ners
VIII Clements, the man wounded Ia tie
double Tragedy for which the four nrisln-
ers were held has recovered from the
wounds at first considered serious aud is
deemed one Of the most important wit
uesses for the State Although he is
somewhat thin and pale, 10 one would
suppose fran his present appearance that
he so lately stood at death's door
The mother of Walter Reese and ssy-
eral other lady friends and relatlye5 Of
the prisoners were attending the trial \
few Of the witnesses left Tor their homes
this afternoon and the remainder LETT to-
night.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-17
No Cases in Cass County.

Atlanta, Texas. February l5.-The
smallpox scare in this county seems now
to be over. There were only two cases.
Randolph Phillips, negro contracted
Inc disease in Arkansas and came home
and was taken down. He is now well.
James Flemming, a white man, contracted
the disease in Louisiana and came home
and died, There were about sixty negroes
and about twenty whites exposed to The
two men, all OF whom were vaccinated
and Isolated; OF all this number not one
contracted the disease, This speaks
volumes for tAe very efficient work Of
Or. V. $. Jeter, county health officer.
and DR.. Mathews ond Quarantine Officer
Cameron and j. ID. Collins, the nurse The
expense to the county in the two cases
aud twenty-six days OF quarantine. to-
gether with the burning Of the house in
which Fleming died, will not exceed 5000.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-17
SMALLPOX.
Explanation from Hunt.v,,,.

huntsville Texas. February 16-ReIa.
1--WE to the notice In today's Post from
Bryan The Post correspondent would saw
'he exact truth was stated in the original
report and there was no thought Of in.
Juring Bryan in n commercial or ether
way Huntsville has no cause to resort
10 such methods The party necessarily
and as he had been to Bryan the stateS
nlent was made to show he had been out
OF town and that the sicksens did not
originate here.
AS To the route the party took in going
10 ana from Bryan or where he contracted
the disease The Post correspondent is
not prepared 10 state.
however The patient IL getting along
SO well the Incident may be said TO he
practically closed and II is hoped the cor
respondent viii soon be able to announce
IKE our sister city Bryan that Hunts
vile Is entirely clear OF smallpox. this
being the only case here In many years.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-17
TEN PAGES TODAY.
a WARNING

Some unknown man has lately been i'm
personatine Mr.. J X. Grist and Mr.. b
., Throop Tho Posts travelling agents
snd attempting 70 collect subscriptions for
The Pest. So far as heard from, hia
field OF operation has been on the South
err Paclhc railway. All OF The Posts
agents, a list Of whom is printed at the
head OF the editorial column daily can
readily prove their identity, and il would
be well in paying money to strangers to
always require this proof. Any iuformd-
ton as to the person mentioned above wilt
be duly appreciated by tho management
OF The Post.