davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
A Bold Defense.

"An enlisted man once put the presi-
dent of court martial in difficult po-
sition." says writer in Cassells Mag
azine. 1.-THE court martial was trying
the soldier for some fault or other.
When the evidence-and it took an un-
usually long time-had been given, the
president asked the prisoner If he had
anything to say in his defense.
"'Well, SIR said the man, I can't
see how this ere court can sentence
me. for Major Jones 'as been reading a
paper under the table the ole blooming
time, and Captain Smith as been max
ing me into karicatoor on the blot
ting pad, and as for Lieutenant Brown,
e 'asn't 'ad his commission a year, and
don't count anywaysP
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
1t Was Scratched.

"Years ago in California" said q
western man, IAN acquaintance Of
mine was on stagecoach that pair
Of bandits went through. The IA pas
sengers were all made to get out and
stand in a row, with their hands high
over their heads. One burly ruffian
stood guard over them with a double
barreled shotgun, while the other en-
gagged in the pleasing task Of relieving
them of their valuables and spare
cash.
'My friend was nearest the man
with the shotgun. While the ceremo-
nies were in progress his nose began to
Itch, and instinctively he started to
lower one hand to scratch it. Hands
up. thereY came the stern order, and
his hand went automatically back into
place. But that itching redoubled, and
again he essayed the relieveful
scratch.
"'Say, what's the matter with you,
anyhow? demanded the highwayman.
Are you wishful to become a lead
mine? My nose itches so 1 can't
stand it any longer tearfully explain
ed my friend. 4 simply have got to
scratch it. No, you hain't,' ingram
matically corrected the knight of the
road, ''cause I'll do it for you
"And with that he proceeded to
scratch the offending nasal organ with
the muzzle Of his shotgun. You can
wager your shoes that that particular
nose stopped itching with great abrupt
ness"
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
Drown. nustered wat.rms,o,

Colonel George w. Anderson. a man
of splendid genius and rare oratorical
gifts. was stumping for Greeley and
Brown down in southwest Missouri.
One night in the midst of his speech an
old fellow arose in the back of the
house and said:
Colonel Anderson, is 1t true that
Governor Brown was so drunk at that
Yale alumni dinner that he buttered
his watermelon
Colonel Anderson reared back on his
pastern joints, Strengthened himself to
his feet 2 and with a lions roar an
swered:
Eyes, it is true that Governor Brown
buttered his watermelon at the Yale
alumni dinner, and 1 am happy to in
form you that that is the only way in
which watermelons are eaten in polite
society,""
Anderson's happy retort was greeted
with a shout of laughter and roar of
applause by his auditors. His inter
rogator sat down discounted, and that
was the last ever heard of the story
Of the buttered watermelon-aIl Of
which goes to demonstrate the value
of Danton's famous motto: "Laudacei
Eaudace! Toujours Paudacep
Colonel Anderson was a wonderful
stumper. He was most emphatically
a rough diamond. In the rough and
tumble. catch-as-you-can style of debat-
ing he never had superior in Mis-
souri,, which is saying great deal. He
was an adept in the use of every spe-
cies of oratorica1 weapon.-Champ
Clark in Saturday Evening Post.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
FIGURES AND EYES.
An Indication of Advancin 4fc
That Admits of No Compromise.

An Indication of AdvancinT asc
That Admits of No COmpro
"As we grow older" remarkty; -
man who was doing that at the ga.,- #
a week every seven days, 1--WE Etyy,n
to observe that we seem to need nivy
light when we read or that the print
of the newspaper that we have been
reading with ease for ever SO many
years is not quite as good as it used to
be, or that we can distinguish the let
tiers little better if we hold them far
Their away than usual, but we are very
slow indeed to observe that the real
cause of it is that we are growing old,
and we rather resent the suggestion of
some kindly friend that we need
glasses.
eve resent glasses especially be-
cause they are the visible sign of our
weakness, and all the world may know
by them what we fondly think they
have not yet discovered-to wit, that
our eyesight is failing. I am that way
myself, or was, and I stood the glasses
off as long as could, and really
could get along very well reading al
most any type. OF course, could not
make out every letter, but 1 could get
enough to complete the word, and Of
tentimes 1 could supply whole words
that were indistinct by the sense of
what l was reading.
"But it was the figures that got me
down at last. All, those figures! There
is no context there, and when l saw
dates or numerals of any kind the blur
of the years shut out all their outlines,
and to save me could not tell what
was before me. l made mistakes so
often in reading aloud to my wife that
she would laugh at me, though she
never caught me on the letters. not
withstanding many was the time l
guessed at about half 1 was reading.
But figures would not stand any fool
ing like that, and at last l acknowl-
edged that it wasn't the type or the
paper or the light or anything of that
sort and got myself a pair of glasses.
Now can tell figure as well as let
ter, and l discover they are printed
quite as plainly as ever, though was
sure they were blurred before. New
York Sun.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
The MIfn In Checkera.

Analysing a game just played at the
club by two checker experts seems to
be almost as fascinating recreation
to the spectators as any other branch
of the game. Time and again have we
watched half dozen checkerists who
were busy suggesting "this move to
draw" or that move to win." while
an equal number would be just as
eager to prove the unsoundness of the
lines in question. By the time both
sides are through, the position has been
thoroughly sifted and it's intricacies
are apparent to all. Many players,
however, are not very anxious to have
their good things" displayed and ad-
vertised in this manner and generally
decline to answer leading questions
When an amateur whom the late
James Wyllie had just defeated in a
game, reset the pieces at certain po-
sition and said, "Mr. Wyllie, If 1 had
played so instead of my original move,
l think would have drawn the
game" the Herd Laddie' retorted,
''They are all draws if you put them
back far enoughp-Shaefers Checker
list.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
He Despised Tobacco,

The healthful or reverse action of to.
bacco has been an absorbing question
for decades and one hard to settle
Emerson, cautious as he was, was once
drawn into a discussion on the subject
and, being a nonuser of the weed, was
an ardent advocate Of its abolition as
a marketable commodity.
did yon ever think about the logic
Of stimulants?" he asked. Mature sup
plies her own. 1t Is astonishing what
she will do If you give her a chance
In how short time the gentle excita-
ton of cup Of tea is needed! Con.
versation is an excitant, and the series
Of intoxications it creates is healthful
But tobacco, tobacco-what rude crow.
bar is that with which to pry into the
delicate tissues Of the BRAIN"
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
ROSE TO THE OCCASION.
The American Girl, as Usual, Man
aged to Win the Trick.

The American Girl, as Usual, Man
aged to Win the Trick.
A man who Is back from a visit to
Paris and Germany is telling a story
which ought to make the great Ameri-
can eagle flap his wings with pride. 1t
happened at a little railway station
in Germany, Grunenwald 'by name.
while the man who tells about it was
waiting for a train on a branch line
which connects with the main line at
that place. Besides himself there were
at the station a party of American
tourists Of the kind you read about in
English books and an English family
of the kind you read about in Ameri-
can books. The Americans were loud
voiced and ungrammatical They laugh
ed great deal and they ate peaches.
the stones Of which they threw at a
post to test their craftsmanship. They
were persons for whom Uncle Sam
himself would have felt apologize,
and they displeased the naughty Brit
ish materfamilias greatly. To the
younger members of her family, a
gawky boy and lanky and 'leggy"
girl of the typical elongated English
variety-they were objects of great in
terest, however, and the girl in particu-
lar edged nearer and nearer, to her
mothers great disgust. At last she
was so near that mamma could en-
dure it no longer.
"Clarap she called in her loudest
voice, come away at once. You might
be mistaken for one of those disgust
ing Americansw
A pretty young American looked up
and swept Clara from head to foot
with a calm glance. Then she went
on eating peaches.
Don't worry, madam" she called
out cheerily. There's no danger Of
that-with them Washington
Post.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
Tennyson and sightseers.

Tennyson's well known aversion to
sightseers and their ways gave rise to
many an odd experience. Once, it is
said. he complained to Queen Victoria,
saying that he could no longer stay In
the Isle of Wight owing to the tourists
who came to stare at him.
The queen, with a kindly irony, said
that she herself did not suffer much
from that grievance. But Tennyson,
taking her literally, replied in the same
strain.
mo, madam" said he, "and If could
clap a sentinel wherever liked I
should not be troubled either"
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
Took His Last Cent For 4. pr,nh.

Took His Last Cent For q Drink.
The old soak, in his tattered, patched
coat, shuf11ed up to the bar, where he
had drained of so many drinks, and
looked wistfully at the bottles of red
liquor in row about two arms length
away.
"Say, Jim, old boy" he said to the
bartender in the most winning tones
he could muster, you wouldn't take a
mans last cent fer drink, would YEP
you bet your life wouldw snapped
Jim, with the viciousness Of a steel
trap. Jim suspected an effort to get q
drink on tick and proposed to forestall
1t.
"Well, s'pose 1 got to have her, SO
set her out" and the soak heaved up a
great sigh that shook his frame with
emotion.
Jim heaved a much lighter weight
sigh on discovering that the drink was
to be paid for. He set out the bottle Of
the toughest goods he had in the house.
The unwelcome customer poured out
four fingers and drank it down with
evident relish. Wiping his mouth on
his coat sleeve, he reached into his
pocket, and, pulling out one old, tar
nished cent that he had found on the
sidewalk, he slapped it on the counter.
'There you are, Jimp he gurgled.
whats this?" yelled Jim in loud.
strident tones.
"You said you'd take me last cent for
a drink, and there it is"
Jim reached under the bar for base
ball bat which he always had on tap,
but before he could get it out the artful
soak had disappeared through the
front door.-Chicago Chronicle.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
EngIand,s Old House.

A great curiosity Is house LOO
years of age and yet fit for habitation.
This old dwelling, the oldest inhabited
house in England, was built in the
time Of King Offa Of Mercia. 1t Is &C.
tagonal in shape, the walls of its lower
story being of great thickness. The
upper part is of oak. At one time the
house was fortified and known by the
name of ST Germans gate. 1t stands
close to the river Yer and only a few
yards from st. Adams abbey.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
call en-" said the court.

call en-" said the court.
81 understand. You mean leg of NUT
ton sleeves, with-er-what's his name
attachments" replied the marshal IL
faint hope of striking the technica
term.
mo; not exactly" said the Judge.
Would you recognize an empire
gown if you saw one, Mr.. MARSHALL"
upon OATH no; wouldn't swear tt
it."
well, know it wasn't an empire
gown or Mother Hubbard. l dom
think you understand much about fe
male apparel"
But here the young lady generously
stepped forward. while little boy
laughed. and the marshal threatened
to send him to the penitentiary for life
st. Louis Post-Dispatch.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
A French Joke.

Two tramps on the banks Of the
Seine:
"How can we raise the windF'
81 have it. You throw yourself in,
and I'll jump in after you and take you
out. Then I'll get the reward from the
Humane society,""
"Goodl Here goesw He jumped into
the water, and after foundering about
for some time he was getting tired out
WELL" he asked, chow long are you
going to remain sitting there? Why
don't you come in and take me out?"
Because I think might make more
out Of you in the morgue."-Paris Jour.
nal.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
An Accident.

Little Bessie having been punished
for misbehavior, skunk to the other end
of the room, crying. Her mother turn
ed to view her repentance, but found
her engaged in making faces at her.
why, Bessie" said her mother,
"how can you do sop
"Oh, mamma" answered the little
girl, 81 was trying to smile at you, but
my face slipped."-London Answers.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28

A correspondent, referring to recent
article in Law Notes on 1.-THE Gram
mar Of the Courts" calls attention to
the following lucid decision Of Sir
John Taylor Coleridge in the case of
Turley against Thomas. 8 G. and P.
103. "a e. G. L. 312: "It has been sug-
gested as a doubt by the learned coun-
sci for the defendant whether the rule
of the road applies to saddle horses or
only to carriages. Now have no doubt
that it does."-Law Notes.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
A Resourceful Waiter.

A very rich but misery gentleman
was in the habit of dining daily at a
certain restaurant, but he never tip
ped the waiter who attended to his
wants. One day the long suffering
waiter asked the gentleman "if he
would condescend to accept his (he
waiter's) Photograph
"What for?" was the query.
~ thought it might make you re-
member the waiter, sir" was the quick
reply.-London Tit-Bits.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
Her Mind Easv.

81 hear you are going to Australia
with your husband. Kitty" said the
mistress. Aren't you nervous about
the long voyages?
"Well. ma'am." said Kitty calmly,
that's his lookout. I belong to him
now, and If anything happens to me
it'll be his loss, not mine"- Exchange.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
Still Free.

After two solid hours of moonlight
and uninterruption she thought she
had him. II admit that you are the
sweetest
eyes, so on" she whispered.
"But the doctor has forbidden me
sweets" he added.
And the sensitive moon retired be-
hind cloud.-Philadelph Record.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
Run Over Him.

"Oh, Mrs. Smith, do you know that
your son Billy has been run over by a
trainF'
"Oh, dear, dear! My poor boy!
Whatever shall l do? Where did II
happenT
Underneath the railway arch. Bill
ly's standing there nowv-London Fun.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
The Court Needed po.tins,

A trial was progressing at the City
Hall police court when the Judge espied
in group Of young girls mingling in
the large audience delinquent wit.
ness whom it was urgent he interview.
"Mr. Marshall" his honor exclaimed,
"have that young lady step here"
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28

A notice which attracts the attention
Of many sojourners In a New Hamp-
shire town is posted on the wall of the
little railway station. The paper on
which it is printed bears evidence of
long and honorable service:
Notice: Loafing either in or about
this room is strictly forbidden, and
must be observed.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
A. 1t Usually Hannen..

81 suppose you had careful rearing,
Mr.. Courtney"
mo; didn't have any rearing at al.
My parents exhausted all their disciple
nary enthusiasm on my elder brother,
Bill."-Detroit Free Press.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28

The Maydower, after her memorable
trip across the Atlantic with the pill
grim fathers of New England, went
into the West Indian cotton trade and
was lost in a cyclone.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28

Interference with digestion is a b,
no means uncommon effect Of excess
i've exercise, and, so far as training II
concerned, it IS one of the most de
gtructiye
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28

An astronomer declares that Jupiter
is in the state that our earth was 3d.
100000 years ago. Those who can re-
member back 100000 years will I'm
derstand what this means.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28

The crust Of the earth under Japan
must be comparatively thin, judging
by the number of earthquake shocks
In that country. They average 500
year.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28

ibid you see Jones? He was looking
for you"
eyes; saw him, but managed
things so he didn't see me."-Chicagc
Record
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28

Three chief feasts during which the
Chinese take legal holidays are those
Of the dragon, the moon and the year.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28

consequence OF self abuse and excess produc-
ing the following symptoms: Sallow counts-
nance, dark spots under the eyes, pain in the
head, ringing in the ears, loss Of confidence,
dimdence In approaching strangers, palpitation
OF the heart, weakness of the limbs and back,
loss OF memory, pimples on the face, coughs,
consumption, etc.
DR. GIBBON has practiced in San Francisco
over 81 years, and those troubled should not
fail to consult him and receive the benefit OF
his great skill and experience. The doctor
cures when others fail. Try him. Cures guar
anteed. Persons cured at home Charges ress-
enable. Call or write.
DIR. ]. F. GIBBoN, 6s5 Kearney street, San
Francisco Cal VI
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1900-12-28
TO THE UNFORTUNATE
DIR. GIBBON

This old reliable and
themost successful spe-
cialist in San Francis
co stilleontinues to cure
all Sexual and Seminal
Diseases,suc as Ghon-
orrhea, elect, Structure,
Syphilis in all its forms
Skin Diseases, Nervous
De b ility, Impotency,
Seminal Weakness, and
I.nSs of Manhood the
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-02-01

county mutual insurance association be
limited to counties where the court houses
are located in towns not to exceed U.s.
600 popula ton. 'i<s@ 80 -iss
The work of the various township mu-
tuals was commended and their extern
sion into the newer parts of the state
urged nF'"aitnf eff4 hos To -ss
A resolutiens was salsot adopted urging
the delegates to the national convention,
of township mutual associations to en-
deavor to secure the next national con-
vention for Minnesota to meet either in
st. Paul or<Nh4fnea polls. 99lilGmen
Several desirable changes Were made in
the constitution and bylaws, and a re-
port upon forms and methods offbook-
keeping. presented iybyeS AndreTvs French.
was adopted H.sSW. Wadsworth. was
elected delegate to attend the national
convention at Indianapolis TO besheid next
summer. <A5Is5 E-.< g. gii..
The committee on resolutions presented
a report, thanking the governor and in
surance commissioner for their courtesy.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-02-01
WISCONSIN LAWMAKER'.
o. A. Risum, Of PuIcifer WIS. Inter-
viewed Regarding Dodd's
Kidney Pills. a.,
Member of the GEAR. and tho Loyal Legion
s.-AMan of Weight In His State-fhorough-
ly Endorses Dodd.s Kidney Pills.

Member of the GEAR. and tho Loyal Legion
- .--ANaf, of Weight In HIS state-Fhorough-
ly Endorses Dodd's Kidney Pills. = :
PULCIFER. gW5s, Jan. 9O-Few men
In this state carry more influence and
respect than does, Honorable o. A.. Ris-
Jim, ex-Repreyenta6ive of this district in
Christiana, Norway, in 1886. Mr.. Risum
has lived In the United States for the last
forty years, and Is as thoroughly Ameri-
can as If he was American born.
Mr.. Risum has seen fit to publicly in
dorse Dodds KddneX Pills, and as this Is q
more than usually significant testi-
monial, emanating as 1t does from a
man of suefB1 prominence Mr. aRisum
was asked by 81 correspondent for partie-
ufars about his experience with this
popular remedy.
TT is said that you haye given your
hearty Endorsement to Dodd's Kidney
Pills. Is that so?
=-4sIt is" said Mr.. Ristim ernphaticalIy.
.'That you have allowed your name to
be freely used in backing UP claims made
for the medicine ,ss.,s - esd.
.And why. not?'" asked Mr.. Risum,
..Dodd,s Kidney7 Pills have reached my
case when all ssother means failed-why
should refrain from giving the public
s'There is no reason whatever" said the
correspondent.
s.Dodd,s kidney Pills cured me Of kid
ney disease" continued Representative
Risun ..Ncthing else would, for Z tried
everything that was recommended"
"You wrote the Dodds Medicine Com
pany letter to that effect. did you
not?" 81. 10 '5;aeA -
.'Yes," was the reply.
rs."Is it true that you gave permission
for its publication. as an advertisement
for Dodd's Kidney Pills?"
-. Perfectly true, and further. Il wrote
them second letter, indorsing Dodd's
Kidney Pills after having ,useds them In
my family oecs
Your CORRESPONDENT secured a copy of
this second ls sf ei5f which follows here
with: ~. in
Wise pNSfTN LEGISLATIVE
ASSEMBLY CRANBERRY
Dodds MEDICINE Ge, Buffalo. N. T.:
Gentfemen-Itsa gives nae pleasure to
state that Isehaiisp used Dodd.s Kidney
Pills in my family with the greatest sue
cess and can rseUsfmend the use Of them
to those a1aieeSd Yith kidney complaint.
TIE ne Yours very truly,
- -. O. A. RISUM.