Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1900-03-29
DR.. Dienich's Experience
By Kennett F. Harris.


NR, DIENICH was not prospecting In
ID his practice. Day after day he
sal in the big easy chair in his office
over the drug store and played check
ers with Hopkins, the photographer,
whose studio was across the hall. But
for once that he was called, the pho
,ographer was called 20 times, and bust
ness was not particularly brisk with
the photographer. DR.. Dienich, who
was greasily corpulent, asthmatic and
bald. and whose dubious nose, crimson
veined and polished, proclaimed moth
ing more than the truth about him,
was wont to tell Hopkins that the pub
lie taste had become perverted. Peo-
ole, he said, preferred to call in a lot
Of empirical young chaps, fresh from
some cheap-John school, with lot of
poppvcock about meteorological cul-
lures and serums, and dude clothes and
fve-inch collars; they had no use for
men of experience and judgment. A
man that was any good at all might just
as well quit the business.
Complaining thus, the physician
would hoist himself out Of his chair and
shamble over to his little dispensary,
which divided an old-fashioned mahog-
any bookcase with the medical library;
there he would pour some dark-brown
stuff into a graduate glass and take the
dose without wincing. Returning to
mis- seat. he would bite off large piece
of plug tobacco and proceed to tell
Hopkins of the palmy days when he
held a county job of surprising soft
ness and snappiness. Also OF his lu-
crative connection with two or three
life-insurance companies that had un-
fortunately failed, owing to the I'M
timely demise of two or three of the in
sured. He was certainly practition-
err of experiences, if not of experience,
supposing all these stories he told Hop
kins to be true.
Hopkins had a profound respect for
DR.. Dienich, both as checker player
and as a gentleman of eminent scien-
titc attachments. Once he had been
afflicted with a boil on the back of his
neck. and Doc Plofield had monkeyed
with it for a week 'thout helpin' it
particle. Then he went to Doc Dienich,
an OF Doc Just mach ally fixed him up
some kind O. truck that knocked that
boil out in q hours. Therefore Hop
| kins received DR.. Dienich's estimate OF
public discrimination with entire con-
| fidence.
"Why don't you try suthin' else
Doc?" he asked Of his friend one morn
ing. IF l had your edercation they
couldn't keep me down. I'd fool EN-"
"The American people like to be
humbugged, Andy" said DR.. Dienich
with slow and solemn emphasis. "They
like to be humbugged. If 1 was one
of them smart little blatherskites like
Plofield, with a pointed beard and pat
ent-leather shoes, I'd be keeping the
spindles of rubber-tire buggy hot
l tell YOU; but I don't have TO do 1t
I've got money, and 1 don't have Il
practice unless l want to. Say, Andy
YOU never heard of Plofield being called
on to give expert testimony before tn
courts, did you? l guess not. WIS.,
I had all the money I've made that wa!
in my pocket right now, all the same
81 guess they pay good fees, said tn
photographer.
81 guess they do, if you're testifyin'
for the right kind of people and yo1
testify good and strong-and positive
replied DIR. Dienich, winldng elaborate
w. "Au the same, Andy, l ought to b
making money now. I don't know bu
III do a little humbugging myself
The doctor was still in this repreher
sibie state of mind when he looked owe
the grease-spotted morning paper
the perpetually soiled and sloppy res
taurant where he took his meals, an
saw this advertisement;
WANTED-PHYSICIAN WITH $500;
snap for a wide-awake man; none bl
regularly qualified need apply. H., roo
426 Galen block.
THAT looks as if it might suit me-
unused DR.. Dienich. "a snap! Wei
snap is something 1 haven't any pa
: ticular objection to. "A wide-awah
= mani! guess I've cut my eyeteeth.
won't cost anything to look into thu
anyway"