The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1900-05-12
POLYGL0T AND PARAcELssus.
4 nudihrastIc Poem, BY Or. Levi Wheaton

sus tDr. Usher Parsons) with plagiarism
In a work on the '.Periosteum," written
by the latter, and which had just re-
ceived the Boylston prize. This poem
was never printed but became famous py
being handed about In manuscript.
Or. w. :. +. i'm the text means DIR. John
Ware. very distinguished physician
then living at Boston. ITO live by para
graph and puff' refers 10 the constant
practice of "Paracelsus" e use those
means cf advertising. The word Ken
pebunk" used as an expletive has refer'
ence to Or. Parsons birthplace. Attest
three Younkers' refers TO a certihcate
given by three students of medicine. as
TO DIR. Parsons knowledge of classic IAN
guages. Scientific oil OF vitriof' refers Y"
n chemical work for making sulphuric
acid. which Dr. Parsons had then Just
done to- refers 10 an operation under
which the patient had lost both eyes, IN,
der the work OF Dr. Parsons. ran
Frenchified commode" refers To very
curious three wheeled concern I'm which
Dr. Mauran then visited his patients. Dr
Slack WAS the very well remembered
physician and surgeon, DIR. David H.
Slack.
The spirit of the first born Cain
i'm mortal man must surely reign.
Alas, Will ldiscord never cease
That I'm this piping time OF peace.
Wien cen the Russian, and grim TURK
Knocked under To the troops of jackson;
When cen the Russion. and grim TURK
Have stayed pro tern their bloody work
Doctors, forsooth, must levy war
And set the natives all ajar;
lTnawed by winters gloomy reign
or Bony's Muscovite campaign
The din of arms again assails us
'Twixt the upper and the under lip.
Say. muse the cause OF all this clatter.
A Book. forsooth, put out by the latter
Or hybrid. got between them both;
II Is deep laid controversy
Too deep by far for vulgar eye.
One swears tits not all gold that glisters
That theft and borrowing are twin Sis
ters.
Distinguished only by snip e.
'Twixt the apper and the under lip.
Thus wlckedly intending that
Said book was not inviolate.
The other is as prompt to swear
And cite, as witness DIR. w.
The Bantling was his own un-
Adulterated as "a nun
With every honest trait. and civil
Till marred by some vile printers devil
As Vertably his can ever prove
As Pallas from the head of Jove.
BY sponsors who are held In Boston
Wherefore" he adds. you, Polyglot,
Hang up your fiddle, and go rot,
Convicted thus of fabricating
Base slanders and prevaricating.
Quotlu Polyglot: You're a pretender
OF other peoples goods the vender,
AS | can prove to demonstration
By reference and by fair quotation.
IL is your cue, and chief reliance
To seem, not be, a man of science;
To LIVE by paragraph and puff
10 string Your medals with the beads
That fell from better furnished heads.
You translate CELSIUS. Kennebunk!
''rwould take a man OF twice your spunk.
Go tol and seek your proper level
Ard to your brethren be more civil.
With honest industry you might
Re something still in natures spite.
None envy you your just dimensions
All hate imposture and pretensions."
Here Paracelsus clenched his fist:
And dare you thus in lies persist,
A raw Brown-onion tn compare
With US of Harvard college, where
bent so long DER classic book a
1 never since, could upward looky
I am match for that old Roman
In Greek and Latin yield to no man.
In French or in Italian either.
Attest three Yunkers who know neither
"It was my luck to be on Erie
As surgeons mate to the brave Perry;
And foncis there ami shares did buy
As many tar can testify.
n famous traveller, too, am
AS 20 his cost knows Uncle Sam.
i left his ship while i'm the Straits
ON furlough with certificates.
On terra firma took a prance.
Saw all the lions in old France.
Whore he who runs may read-morc
knowledge
Than all you ever gained In college,!
You shallow-pated Juvenal,
Presume to battle me withal
Recant. or now my wrath is up.
I'll drench YOU with a brimming cup
OF scientific oil of vitriol,
Which on your stomach will not sit we'll
Upon your skull I'll operate.
And with rev lights illuminate,
Or shut up those that.let the sun through
AS some poor devils ] have done to.
Too long In triumph you have rode
In that tall Frenchified commode
These hands. IL once with blood 1 soil
them
Shal. send you to your last asylum
SO stood the wars, when with a crack.
A side blow comes from DIR. Slack.
Confusion now made worse confounded,
Renewed hostilities were sounded
And what at first seemed idle prattle
Nav soon become general battle.
Each lent on others utmost harm
The fearful conflict wakes warm,
We look TO see the peStleS fly
And pills and powders blot the sky.
Now ponder well, YOU parents dear,
Nor let your children go too near.
Powders and pills may them assail,
More dangerous far than snow or hall.
The frightful weapons of this trade
Nav spoil some luckless urchin's head,
Cause him to perish In his prime
OR lose his teeth before their time.
Ah me U've heard some poets sing),
What woes from trivial causes spring
That mon who boast the art OF healing
A.