The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-08-12
N9r. DoOEeg
ON THE
Future i'm CHINA.


BE tn time tn Chinese gets through
with this here Job o. theirs" said Mr..
Dooley, they'll know a thing or two
about good manners an Christyan idees."
''They need thim." said Mr. Hennessy.
They do So" said Mr.. Dooley "An'
they'll git thin. BY an by tn allied
forces Will proceed to Pekin. 1t NAV nor
be in ye'er life time or In mine or in m.
life time Nv tn MINISTER'S, Hinnissv. Tbav
ARE In no hurry. Tn ministhers ar-ra
as comfortable as they can be on dite
w polo ponies an bamboo an thew bava
exercise enough dodgin' cannon balls IN
nave no fear fv indygisthion They'se no
need 1v haste TIL allied forces roret
make no step forward while wan ARMED
Zoe survives. 1t was rayported last Weel,
tnat tn advance had begun. but on sindir,
cut scouts twas discovered that tn as
pnalt r-road TO tn capital was not r-1eadv
an IN gallant sOjer boys was afraid to
risk their beecycles on a. defective M,
ment Thin tn parlor cars ordhered h,
IN Rooshan admiral has not arrived an,
wan w tn F'r-rinch gin rails lost an ON
eIette, or WhatiYer It's they wear on their
shoulders, an he won't bulge TIL II can h.
replaced firm Pahrs. A srhrong CORDS. "
miners an sappers has gone ahead FIR To
locate good RESTRAINTS on tn linz q,
silk umbrellys haven't arrived an tha,,,sa
supposed to be four hundred milIvon
Chlnymen with pinwheels an roman can
dIes olockin' tn way, so tn advance has
Deen postponed indefinitely. Tn American
Ioorces Is r-ready FIR to start fmmetata-
~, but they ARE not there vet. TIL Brit
ISM gin raj is waitin' f'r tn Victoria. eros,
oe1ure he does anything, an tn Japan-
csc an TIL Rooshan is dancIn' IN a.,
| uo Owl say1n' 'Afther you, me boy
BUT afther awhile, whfn tn fros. T.
II pumpkin an tn corn Is in H.
shock whin tn roads has been renaireJ
| an lVlry ginra lool1in' his best an
IN no danger " cold on his chist. thev'Il
~ Pa at'c e, away An whin they get to tn
CITY ~ Pektn fine cillybration IS plan
neu % tn missionaries. I see tn pre
gramme IN tn paper. First dav 10
m, prayers be tn allied missionaries.
L p. m, massacre fY TIN impress an
rlie family; sicond day, 10 a. m. scat
! therln Nv remains tv former kings, II q
| m.' dissertation iv graves gln'rally;
p. M massacre iv all gin'rals an coort
oLlclals; third day, II noon, burnin' iv
/ Fekln; fourth day, gran poplar massa-
cree an division iv terri'try, tn ciIly-
bration to close with a rOugh-an' tumble
! fight among tn allies
Twill be e. great occasion. Hinnls-
| sy an bedad I'd like to be there to ges
| It. Ye can't go too sthrong again tn
! Chtnee. Me frind, tn impror Nv Germany
put it right Brave boys says he We
ARE goin' out now he says, f'r to car
ry tn light ~ Christyanlty,' he says, an
| tn teachin's Nv tn Garman Michael he
says. to tn benighted haythen beyant,'
he says. Me an Mike is watchin' ye,'
he says, an we expect We to do ye'er du-
| ty, he says. Through you he says, T
propose to smash tn vile Chnee with me
mailed fist he says. This Is no six
ounce glove fight, but demands a lunch
! hook done up in eight-inch armOr plate,
he says. 'Whin ye get among tn Chi
nee, he says, 'raymimber that ye ar-re
! tn van guard Of Christyanity, he says,
! an stick yeer baynet through ivry hat
| ed infdel ye see,' he says. Lave thin
! understand what our westhren clvillza-
| ton MEANS he says, an prod thin good
an hard he says.
open their heads with ye'er good Gar
man words to good European culture an
refinement he says. Spare no man tAat
wears a pigtail,' he says. AM he says,
me an tn Garman Michael will smIe
on We as We kick tn linin' out w tn .dhra-
! gou an plant on tn walls ~ Pekln Tn
| banner, he says. fv tn cross, and he sEys
| tho double cross he says. An If be
| chance We shud pick up little land ne tn
! way don't lave e'er a Frinchnan or Il
| RoOshan take 1t firm ye or yen feel me
special delivery hand en- tn back O. yer
neck in a way thatll do ye no kind w
good. Hook Garman Michael he says.
! hook me gran father. hook tn penny
postage fist he says. hook meselr.' no
| says. An tn Garman empror wint
| back to his bedroom FIR to wurruk on
! the book he's goin to bring out next
| year to take tn place Nv tn Bible.
He's tn boy FIR ms money Whln tn
| Garman throops takes their part In tn
destruction " Pekin they II be none ~
] tn allied forces IL stick deeper or throw
! tn backbone " tn Impress OF father
higher thin tn la-ads firm tn home iv
tn sausage. I hope tn ciIlibration'1
occur on Christmas day. I'd like . hear
tn soJers singin' 'Gawd r-rest We. merry
Chinnymen' as they punchered thin with
a baynit.
Twill be good thing" said Mr.. Hen
messy.
at will that" said Mr.. Dooley
Twill civiize tn Chinymen' said Mr..
Hennessy
Twill civiIize thin stiff" said Mr..
Dooley. "An' it may not be a bad thing
! f'r tn r-rest iv tn wurruld. PERHAPS con
! tack with tn Chinese may civilize tn
! Garmans." -Copyrlght. 1900, by r. II.