davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28
HIS HIGTC FlILED MN.

From The Detroit Free Press.
zone Of the funniest things that ever happened to
me, said the Old magician. who in remi-
niscent mood, occurred 4 number of years ago
while ! was making a tour of the country. At that
time my iavOrite card the box trick. where /
allowed myself to be put in a sack, after which /
locked in Il box. which tied up and put in
the cabinet from which emerged Il moment later.
bowling and smiling. 1t always brought down the
house. and subject for discussion long after
I had eft
''WelI. / gave my performance one night at a
small town and after the show was over went to
the little hotel and retired for the night, the old
man who kept the hotel showing me to my room
king. Tn bed in the room a folding one and
no sooner 1 in than it closed up like a jack
knife. Fortunately for me | realized what was
happening in time to roll to side, that when
the bed closed ii left my head out But otherwise
] was powerleSS, and there nothing to do but
yell for help. which did to the best of my ability
Finally | succeeded in making the landlord hear
me. and he came TO the door and wanted 10 know
what the MATTE
d" This cussed bed has shut up and caught me in
it, shouted.
'Wul. why don't ye git out? he drawled
" 4 can't" l bawcd.
g 'Humph. feller what kin git out of sack
after he has been put in box and locked up ought
ter be able git out of a bed he answered.
1T took fifteen minutes steady argument on my
part to convince the old man that my skill in get
ting out of difficult places did include folding
beds, ana even then he seemed to think | had
caused hlm lot of unnecessary trouble
"All he said when at last he released me was.
'Humph, ye amt ez big / thought We
wuzr
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28

in his UeiShhoJ hood One evening about dusk three
travellers horseback drew rein in front of his
house and asked for accommodations for the night
which readily granted Van Bibber being one
OF the most hospitable of men. After supper Van
Bibher commenced air mis- faVOrite theory He
told the men that one thousand years from that
day they would again ride TO his humble dwell
ing and ask for shelter. and that they would be
riding the horses that they now had. He
asked his guests what they thought of his doctrine
They informed him that they would have TO sleep
il. il something entirely new To them.
The next morning about the first question Van
Bibber asked his guests what they thought of
his thousand year theory. The spokesman of the
party said. We believe you right, and we have
hecomr converts TO your way Of thinking "
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28
now uf. scELrs THUMB WAS scARFso.
A STORY OF FIERY IRISH GUNNER
On The PhIIadeIphia -.

From The Philadelphia Post
Augustus g. Buell.. the author of a new life e
Paul Jones, has himself had a life OF varied ex-
~, - -, ~ al 't,s t = 49, - - = > -
ton correspondent and newspaper man in the East
civil ensiretr in tba VI md Tor Sroe Ve,,rs 80
has been connected with "a large shipbUHCing con-
He prides himself on his Anericanism. AL six
teen Of his sreat-ereaJ -erandpareuts We're born
his four great granGfIthers fought in the Revolt
uonary War. In preparing his work on Paul Jones
access besides. to hitherto unpublished material
scar on the inside of his right thumb has -Jri-
One OF my great randfathers- ne says. was
a gunner the BOnhOmme Richard. YOU IT.
was natural that in the civil War triite1 into t1-
In "a hot tight in which our battery was engaged
the day before the battle of Gold HarbOr my pru-
Cipa duty to keep my thumb the vent q
o rr,,-eDt preTn9 rrf SI,I0sins throrIph srrLs ~z
manning in the cannon from previous discharg--
charge so as extiu=sush these sparks ana 2
they do 50 the work of the boy at the vent much
But Irishman named Grifi,hs. who was No. l.
and who had therefore to load and swab the
swab it out oftener than once every half dozen dis
Gn.'rSeS or SO i ms vi ILL., IIu OF m M, ioI nad %
the hot metal The thumb began 10 burn badly
that / called to MIN TO swab out the gun ofteaer
but he merely answered With a VOlley Of excitJ'i-
But its burning the flesh away cried
Then hold it tight with the bone he yelled
well IT hurt pretty bad but Ne got through tH-
coffee and har'itack and had Jhe thumb Wr4pr-i
let 90 Of that when It was burning my thumb 80
u Thought Of that" he said srimIy and wa.
ready to brain yer with the rtmm-r II you H't
AT that / sgiu1trred 80 that I lost hall of uy
precious coffee for GrifhthS was completely for
setltns that if had iet GO ana theT@ htd 5 6e.
thius left Of him
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28
THE cLERGYu4N vD THE H..

From The London Chronicle
\ true anecdOte Of the old election i4yS. whi p
Mr. Gladstone used To relate. will perhaps bear
telling a the moment At the celebrated election
in 1855 at which Mr. Gladstone lost mis- seat tOr OK
ford University becoming rO Use his own phrase
'-uumuzzIed his opponent was Claiborne Hardy
The practice at a contested election f1r et %
eect0r 70 record his vote by word OF mouth b-for-
telIerS for each party The late Professor Henry
Smith was acting teller for Mr. Gladstone. wh-r
an uncouth country clergyman entered. and o. r.r
usual request for whom he wished 10 record his
vote replied. his confusion. Il vote for Sir.
GIad-I mean for 'Ardy Il claim that vote.
quietly put in Professor Henry smith No no.
nroteSted the clergyman. Il did not finish tSs
name" Quite so. but YOU did not even begin -15
other" r-r0Tted the Professor
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28
NElv-YORK TRIBUNN ILLUSTRATED sUPPLENENT.

! thought YOU would replied Van Ebber. rub
hing his hands with glc.
Now. continued the first speaker we hlv-
come a great distance and have many long.
weary miles To traverse before reach our dcsti-
nation To tell you the truth. Mr. Van Bibber we
are short of money. and II it is just same 70
You will pay you for nights lodging when
we return in a thousand years from now Let
me see. said Van Bibber, ewing the three men
very closely; II believe ] recognize you. I think
you the same rascals that stopped here a
thousand years and refused to pay Your
credit Is bad and Z Will collect now.
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28
FR0H THE VEN FIRST READER.

From The Chicago Post
See the bad boy,
WHY iS the boy bad
Because of prOV-crh ne once read IA a book
What did the prOv-er5 say
II said, The good die young
That is why the boy is not taking any chan
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28
CIRCUS DAY IN GEORGIA.

From The Atlanta Constitution
To the small boy yesterday the circus vas \
hailelujah event, of which he had heard the t;-or-
gia darky singing:
DE kangaroo stood his head.
Winkin' at de foxes,
De elephant SOt his trunk
A-chawin' drygOOdS boxes
De lion, he SOt up
LAX busted COnCertind.
He slam de tiger de flo
En- he chaWed up de hyeUI''
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28
Van BIBBER RECOGNIZED THEH
m The Kansas City Journal.

From The Kansas City Journal
Among the stories told by the eloquent ana enter
tanning Colonel Pat" Dyer on his Republican
campaigning tour throughout Missouri il the fol-
lowing, the point of which is obvious: Down in
Boone County. Mo. several years ago there lived
noted character by the name of Van Rhber. He
had some very strange theories and one of them
was that every thousand years history repeated
itself and that the things that happened one day
in a thousand years from that day would happen
again. He preached this doctrine in season ana out
Of season but he could make many converts
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28
THE SAVAGE B4CHELOR.

From The Indianapolis Press
Man said the grass widow bOarder. us the
only animal that fights he female Of his Kind
Man, said the Savage Bachelor. lis the reason
ing animal"
From the way the grass widow bOarder giggIed
IL might have been inferred that the cOTverS Itiau
had been started of those gIIreS from he
bridegroom bOardeT.
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28
SAFETY IN NUMBERS.

From The Washington Star.
There is safety numbers said the trite con-
veTSdttOIaiiSt.
There is answered the who talks
politics. If you can't convince A man by your
argument you can always silence him BY quoting
lot of statistics that he absolutely aOthius
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28
SHluErCL rRE4ruENT Or cHILDREv.
From The london Cilobe

NrUm Inc I.OnUOn tT-gOr-
An advertisement has appeared in a local paper.
which Il lady expresses her desire for "A servant
who will be expected TO cook and dress children
The fOur-and- twenty blackbirds baked in pie
be compared with this dish Children
dressed Ia mode Will now have significance
the fashion papers
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28
CRUSHED FOR 4 TINE.

From The Indianapolis Press
Truth crushed to earth will rise tsain
But not till after the campaisnl
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28

bill" he said mildly. by adding the words, 'ex
Cept Indians
New-York tribune., 1900-10-28
A USEFUL SUHWER INSTRUHENF.

From Harper's BaZaT-
How do you manage t1 keep 1T your
house, FOSdiCk asked OF keedck.
Il have thermometer that was made 70 order
It registers ten degrees lower than the tenn
peratuTc."
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-10-02
BY YOUR WORKS SHALL YOU BE
KNOWN.

1t has been said of politicians that
they are selfish. That their one aim in
life is ACKNOWLEDGMENT. The Vir-
ginian- Pilot has too many devoted and
unselfish friends. amongst this large
element Of citizens. to subscribe to such
a sentiment. We come, therefore, to
point out the vital Importance OF
prompt. energetic and positive action
looking to the election of Judge r. r.
Prentis to the Court of Appeals.
Experience has taught us to appreci-
ate the working and accomplishing
powers Of organized politics. 1t would
be great recommendation to the diff
ferent political organizations II they
turned out. hand in hand, with others
of their fellow citizens. and insured the
election OF Judge Prentis.
And this is said aside from, and in
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-10-02
WHY NOT THESE

The Virginian-P Pilot does not desire
to make any suggestions to LIFE"
That lively little weekly not only keeps
men in good humor in New York,
where it is published. but tickles the
risbilltus of the people hereabouts.
But one has right to help along a
good cause. LIFE" exercising its
wonderful foresight, selected as the
proper opponents OF Republican doc
trine. the Hon. l.. II. Chang, of China,
and the Hon. Willie Waldorf Aston, of
London. as candidates, respectively. for
President and Vice President. LIFE"
felt that these gentlemen would be in
thorough sympathy with the foreign
policy; that little Willie Astor could
displace Mr.. Hay in English favor. and
even OUTLAY Mr.. Hay in fawning.
Besides little Willie stands in better
Win the Hon. Z. Wales.
Now Mr.. Ii Hung Chang comes so
highly recommended that 1t We're n
work of supererrogation to refer to his
qualifications. Besides having made
several million dollars out OF the gov
eminent, Mr.. Chang would bring a
large section OF land even worse than
the Philippines. This is what Mr.. Nc
Kinley Hanna wants.
1t can be confidently said, however
that the above gentlemen pale into in
significance when compared with the
candidates OF the National" party
The watchword, byword and only word
of this grand party is "GoIdr lis plat
form consists of one word, gold, It's
religion is its life; its life is it's plat
form; its platform is its byword; its By
ieord is '0oldr
This grand party. the g-tag- bob
tail and tail end of the Palmer Buck
nerites. nominated candidates, but they
declined. and it has none. And so it is
said. that "L1FE" should not overlook
the candidates of the National party
in exhibiting representative candidates.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-10-02

addition to. the record and personality
OF the man. 1t is said out of a shirt
OF local pride also. This section is en-
titled to q representative on the SUI
prcme bench of the State. and the Vir-
ginan-Pilot desires and proposes to see
that that fact is kept we'll to the fore.
WIN the political organizations do the
same?
And now for politics. For years it
has been the custom OF the leaders of
the party to look to Tidewater, C.Blaclk
Belt though 1t be.) for najorities.
Have they ever been disappointed?
The time has come now when we can.
with perfect propriety and Justice.
hand up our plate.
SO, with all due respect to the able
gentlemen who are candidates, to the
Governor and his personal choice; the
Virginian-Pilo wishes to hear from the
political organizations in behalf of
Judge Prentis; and 1t wishes 70 see
some work in his behalf. Let the poll
ticians Of the State know that Glide
water" should, and must, be recog-
nized.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-10-02
NORFOLK CoUNTY's MONEY.

The announcement of financial ease
in Norfolk county will be received here
abouts with n degree of pleasure equal
ed only by the relief 1t brings. For
years the County has been unable to
meet its warrants, thus causing them
to sell readily ut a large discount. This
meant more or less depressing effect
upon public securities, and bode no
good for those securities in this sec
ton.
Norfolk County is very rich. In II
are several towns, the suburbs of Nor
folk, Portsmouth and Berkeley, as well
as Lambert's Point Pinners Point.
Fort Norfolk, and other places.
Values are not based upon farm land
alone. but very much upon improved
building lots. through which run troll
ley cars and water pipes.
1t is with a feeling of the warmest
welcome, then, that the good news
comes to us. Let it be said of this sec
ton that her public securities are gilt
edge; that, instead of selling at a dis
count. they are sought after at Il pre-
MUM.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-10-02

The door of opportunity is shut in the
faces of the Southern negroes, the In
dams. Alaskans, Hawaiians and Fill
pinos, all alike.-Charlotte Observer.
There is no promise whatever held out
to the. Filipinos, and no means pro-
vided. that he may become an Ameri-
can citizen. With citizens rights and
privileges; every Southern negro who
can read and write intelligently is an
American citizen. with all citizens
rights and privileges. If the Southern
negro can't read and write, he has but
to learn, in states where the suffrage
is qualified, to have all n citizens
rights. Schools are provided by the
State where the Negroes children can
fit themselves to comply with the law
qualifying suffrage. which is the only
limitation on the negro's rights as a
citizen. The Filipino, though learned
as Socrates, can't be a citizen The
door of opportunity shut in the faces of
all alike? Not much. There is but one
Filipino who is an American citizen;
there are 10000 negroes in North Caro-
lima who can vote under the new
amendment.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-10-02
HAD BRYAN DONE IT.

Maryland is up in arms! Particu-
larly so is the Monumental City OF Bal
timore. the home of the Baltimore Sun
that has been keeping up such a trem-
endous din about the ears of Maryland
and National Republicans. 1t all
comes about through the usual conduct
of the business OF the Hon. Marcus
Asking Hanna.
Mr.. Hanna asked the Baltimore
banks to contribute $4,000 to the Re-
publican campaign fund. He needed 1t
in his business. Now, this was all right
for Hanna, but it was not all right for
Baltimore stockholders. 1t had been
confidently believed that the Baltimore
banks were operated in the interest OF
their stockholders. Hence, when the
proposition was laid before the Clear
ing House, and the different banks
were assessed, u director in one of the
banks expressed well-defined and
well-developed degree OF disgust and
Indignation. He had not known be-
fore that the banks, as general rule,
were apxiliaries of the Republican
party, Jut innoccnHy thought them indie
pendent business institutions. made of all
kinds of people!
Now. we simply ask the question:
Suppose Mr.. Bryan had have attempted
such hgh-handed act as that? Sup
pose Mr.. Bryan had have gone around
assessing corporations!! There is
something rotten in the very effort TO
blackmail these banks. 1t means that
other corporations are suffering the
same fate. and that the stockholders are
paying it. Would it not be we'll to
have a little inquiry entered by stock
holders? Let us have the truth of the
matter! If bank presidents and cash
| iers wish to contribute their own
money to Mr.. Hanna, they may, of
course. with perfect right. do so; but
| what of the trust fund belonging to
the stockholders? This is n sacred
fund and very serious business; and
the last of 1t has not been heard.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-10-02

charged. &C." 1t does not say "full
service" or ''limited service" but
plainly Service" which includes any
and all sorts or Kinds of scrrico whatso-
ever. Whatever legal quibbling may
make of it. this appears to be the
plain and self-evident spirit and intent
of this clause of the Bell franchise. If
the Southern States shall see fit to put
in limited, or other cheap service.
the Bell can follow. but that 1t can
originate such service, seems extreme
~ doubtful. Certainly. IL the Southern
States should put in q limited service.
identical with the limited service of
the Bell Company, but charge SIS in
stead OF S12 year for it, the Bell
would be compelled by its franchise
to raise its charge also to that figure.
1t is trifle surprising that the South
ern States has not protected itself In
this way. Its failure to do so has
reused the suspicion that it is not par
ticularly averse to being "assimilated"
by it's competitor.
One thing is certain-if the Bell Com
pany can legally, under it's franchise.
cut rates, by the device OF q limited
service, to Sl2 year, IL can cut them TO
~ cents gear by The same dcricc. 1t can
offer phones TO householdcrs at rate
that will secure vast number of sub
scribers, and will then be in u posi-
ton to charge business houses. which
have to reach householders pretty
nearly what it pleases for service and
thus cause the Southern States phone
to drop out of the market. Let us
suppose (and the supposition is ren-
sonable)-that the present schedule of
rates operate TO make the business OF
the Southern States Improbable, COM
polling that company to sell out to the
Bell. what would be the telephone sit
uation? The Bell would have entire
control Of the field, and as its franchise
fires no murimum rate it could charge
subscribers whatsoever seemed good
to it according to its own sweet will
and pleasure. 1t could and doubtless
would, charge $50 year for resi-
dences, $3.50 u year for business houses
and ten cents for a three minutes con-
versation, and the only alternative
would be to pay or not use a telephone
at all. On the other hand, the South
ern States, by it's franchise, is prohib
tied from raising its rates beyond q
fixed limit-s3s. ALL THAT STANDS
BETWEEN THE NORFOLK PUBLIC
AND EXORBITANT TELEPHONE
CHARGES IS THAT FIXED MANI
MUM SOUTHERN STATES RATE.
Behold therefore, the wisdom (from
the Bell point OF view of getting the
Southern States out of the way! This
we believe to be the ultimate result
If not the deliberate purpose of the
new schedule of rates established by
the Bell Company, and IL nothing is
done to prevent 1T, such we believe will
be the result within II months. Wheth-
er "Barkis is willing we do not pre-
tend to say. but. we do know that the
danger is in the Bells $12 residence
rate, and the other graded schedule
of rates, not in it's $50 business rate.
which seems to have misled the pub
lie as to what is the real source of
danger,
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-10-02

~ IN order to avoid delays, on account of
personal absence. letters and all commu-
nlcations for THE pilot
enould not be addressed to any individ-
1iat Il, Sonnected with the office, but simply
So55ssLi5 % lVIRGINIAN AND PILOT PUB
LISTING COMPANY.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-10-02
THE BELLS CUT IN RATES-wAs
BARKIS wILLINGs"

"a AS between the Southern Bell Telc-
: phone Company and the Southern
States Telephone Company the vir-
sEintanrPilot has no preference. It has
{ no interest In and does not care fig
Nor the one or the other. 1t uses the
service of each and has no quarrel
with either. This much by way OF pre-
y face. The Virginian-Pilot, however,
/ does not wish to see the public of Nor
folk the victim of Telephone Mo-
4 fopoIy, and It belicres the first sicp to-
4 icd,I snch Monopoly has been taken On
{ Vie Boil Company. and, strangely
enough, without seeming to excite
either fear or opposition on the part
Spf its supposed competitor. the South
Rrn States.
Is There are few facts that deserve
y to be set down and remembered. The
4 Eouthern States has a maximum rate
! dxed by it's franchise at SSS for bust
mess houses and $2S for residences, but
mo minimum rate.
The Southern Bell has no maximum
4 rate, bat las a minimum rate fired by lis
4 s5yd:Iclisc. such rate being the loocst rate
gidrgcd bD ITS competitor.
~ The Southern Bell has a perfect
fright to fix its charges at $50 per year
for business houses, or at SlOO or at
$500. 1t was publicly given that right
lby the City Councils. and so long as
& there Is a competitor in the field
whose maximum rate is fixed, the Vir-
4 ginian lot does not propose to do any
scompla ining at the $50 or the $500
rate, and we do not see that any one
3 has any cause to complain; and more
81 ever the increase rate is not where
y he real danger lies.
The increase in the rate. per sc.
Hinrts nobody but the Bell Company
here was only an increase rate. If
ETA Wo beef dealers. for example. Mr..
BE II and Mr. States, both are selling
X beef Sat 16 cents a pound and Mr.. Bell
cliopses to raise his charge to 80 cents
Y "a pound, that is his affair. So long as
Z ~ States continues to sell equally
good beef at 16 cents and he is lin
ted to that figure as the maximum
aar ges He pnbsic Is amply protected
/ is In the apioldsion of the mimimw,n
I: x1ieE sixed by the franchise OF the Bell
s Company that the real danger to the
pEbiie interest lies. No monopoly or
trust has ever been established
\ aga Inst competition by raising prices
ss Prices are always cut, and competition
B crushed ID, as the first step toward mo-
Il oppl This VAS clearly foreseen
hence the provision in the Bell
sseisar ter that It eshall not furnish SER
q E rates below those, from time
time. charged by any other tele-
phone cpmpany in the city of Norfolk
The same service,
MAS recognized ut the time the
fEanefa ige was granted TO the Bell
g Spp1pany that 1t had strong financial
|ssa eEins. aud the clause quoted above
4 WAS plsInIy Intended to estop 1t from
'Sss9l5 Ing rates and running the States
of the field. In other words, The
8 ID 10 Tho ehan0e Or reduction Of
idas 6g ne Bel franchise ALSO
isltlb lie lsell's competitors. The
{ aass plainly and irithout any
H pftali ion that the Bell Com
not furnisll Ctelephone)
EEL d ties below those : !.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-10-02

Both York and Butte streets are so
torn up as to be impossible for vehi-
cles. IL fire should occur in the mid
die of block the subsequent proceed
ings would be interesting to the insur-
ance companies.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-10-02

In the matter of paving parallel
streets 1t would be better to take them
as the Irishman wanted his hornets.
one at q time.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-10-02

In the present condition of the streets
in some parts of the town it would not
be bad to add a flying engine to the
Fire Department.