The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-12-15
December Forecasts.

ends. The death rattle is in his throat
ami the fam. of life iickers fe.bly in
his fading eyes.
We al. sorry to part with the old
fellow. FOR he has been 4 ,orker in his
Uma. O.Ae" centuries previon, 10 tnis
ole nave plugged along through life
Is hest IIev ..6, r, <. :. no loot
print. ana .s.-..- @n -pauc g.. ii.e
sands OF t.m. 10 .peak oi. out tire
Nic.taru.a Century has been huu-
mer. IA htS yoath he MAY have ben
r5Gdv aaa .ld.-crec.. but ~ sBouio
rcmemb-r there were no ". {. I.
Uters ID tA,sa days TO seize him bytAe
slack oi Li9 trousers and pull him
away from the primrose paths OF sin.
In his youth h. enjoyed bat few OF the
comforts and cunVeniences of life,
HIS food was COOKED in Il Dutch oven
and ne had 10 light his pipe with
flint. He wrote his love letters with a
goose quill and fastened his galluses
with a thorn. All. Little did he think
that before he passed off the stage OF
action he would be wearing golf suits,
riding bicycles and eating pie with a
fork. Little did he dream that before
he passed up the fume he would be
wearing papier-mache teeth and vot-
ing the Australian ballot.
When he was ushered into the world
a hundred years ago. the housewives
leached their own i've and kept the
flies away from the table with peach
sprout. There were no fly screens, no
cook stoves, no carpet sweepers, no
yeast cakes, no baking powder. no
shoe buttoners, no chatauquas, no
spring mattresses, no union suits. no
rubber shoes, no cucumber spoons, no
sewing machines. no toilet soap, DO
clothes wringers, no clothes pins.
Think of it. Our great, great grand
mothers, a hundred years ago, never
enjoyed the luxury of hanging out
clothes on wash day with a two-by-
four sycamore clothes pin between
their ruby lips.
A century ago there were no teie-
gra phs, no railroads. no steamships,
no telephones, no type-writers, no
stem winding watches, no barb wire
fences, no dehorned cattle, no para
mount issues, no Mark Hanna. Dur-
ing the century tho shirt waist has
been discovered, the vermiform ap-
pendix has been hunted to its lair, the
micrObe has been bred up to its pres
ent proud condition and is now stand
ard and registered, threshing ma
chimes have come into use and the
throw-board has been invented. Per-
haps some of my readers do not know
what throw board is,
Did YOU ever take the "down row."
On Il cold December morn,
When the frost was on the pumpkin,
And the siobber on the corn:
If you did you can realiZe what IA
wonderful invention the throw board
is. 1t has abolished the down row.
in corn gathering time and thus revo-
lutionized the morals OF the farmer
boy.
1t is solemn thing to stand by the
death-bed of IA century. Some OF us,
perhaps, will never see another CEN
turv croak Let US then be up and do
ing, with a heart for any fate, still
achieving, still pursuing, till it's time
to pull our freight. The Nineteenth
Century has loped down through the
shining corridors of the home stretch,
impelled by steam and charged with
electricity. Smooth down his dying
pillow and gently wipe the death damp
from his brow. He has been the great
est century that ever came down the
pike. He has brought to the world
the ripened fruitage of all time. and
clothed the sons of men with the cul-
minating glory of all epochs and all
ages.
There will be no Sunday school pic
mics, no ice cream suppers, no camp
meetings. no house flies. no hammockS,
no balmy breezes, no violets. no clio
YER blossoms. no nesting robins, no
summer complaint, no summer girls,
and no bed bugs this month. The
moon will be full when it gets ready,
same as ever, congress will meet and
the members will draw their mileage
and adjourn for the holidays, same as
usual. Christmas will come on the 18th
like it did last year, and the Sunday
school scholars will each get a sack OF
candy aud an orange, same as a.
ways.
But / cannot refrain from closing
these forecasts with the observations
made with due deliberation. after care
fully scrutinizing the present ana com
pairing il with the past. that the Nine
teeath Century has been - peach.
Montgomery News,
Prompt attention will be paid TO auy
. business entrusted TO me.
HENRY A. ASTHOLZ.