The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-06-30
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
McJigger-He fell into Jones well,
and it never faxed him
Thingumbob-You don't say! Didn't
hurt him, Ell?
McJigger-No; and you know how
hard the water is in Jones well.-Phil-
adelphia Press.
what did you mean?" asked the in
per this morning that Bingham ought
not to listen to the foul fiends who are
trying to persuade him to run for coun-
ty judge? call that carrying political
prejudice entirely too far"
You are the 239th man." replied the
editor of the Daily Bread, lifting his
haggard face to view, Ito whom have
explained that foul fiends' was a typo
graphical error. wrote it fool
friends Chicago News.
The presidential bees draw near;
Their antics oft are funny.
They buzz and gambol without fear
And the landlords get the honey.
Washington Star.
Tommy (whispering)-say, CHIMNEY,
why don't yer show de teacher yer
mumps, so she will let yer go home?
CHIMNEY hoarsely)-'Sh! yer idyut- l
wants ter have de whole school ketch
de disease, so as L kin have some Nv de
fellers ter play wid.-Judge.
"And how do you spend your spare
timer" inquired the philanthropist of
the overworked humorist
Revising my collection of bathing
costume jokes for the July market"
And why do you revise them?"
''They are all too long for the pres
ent styles. Plain Dealer.
Towne-I saw Rashley today with
big bundle of railroad guides under his
4 sid
able travelling.
Browne-Oh, no. He's going to marry
a Chicago woman.
Towne-What has that to do with it?
BrOwne-He wants to find some nice
place to spend the honeymoon where
she hasn't already been on a wedding
tour.-Philadelphia Press.
Il knowed us hoboes would get our
revenge sooner or LATER said Meander-
ing Mike.
What's happened?"
I'm about ready to go to work. If
dere'S anything 1 could bring meself
to do. it's settin' up in business an
sellin' de mules OATS got to be put on
de dogs. Washington Star.
Mr.. Flatdwel1 with paper, reading
war)-"I see that the Argyles received
their baptism of fire yesterday" Mrs.
Observation-Disclosures! Did their gaso-
line stove explode?''- Brooklyn Life.
Circumstantial Evidence. = was
there anything suspicious about the ac-
tons of the prisoner when you met
him?'' asked the court. Yes, sir" re-
sDonded the witness HE forgot to
ask me to lend him some money. -
Philadelphia North American.
Mrs. Snow (to Mrs. Greene recently
married)-"You told me you were going
to board. How did it happen that you
went to keeping hCuse?" Mrs. Greene
I'VE had to do it, you know, in
der to find room for the wedding pres
ents. Boston Transcript.
Where it was Faulty.-"No," said the
| magazine editor I'VE cannot use your
| poem. The sentiment is beautiful and
the metre and rhyning are perfect, but
| nevertheless it is not suited to high
class literary magazine. . Whats the
matter with it," asked the poet in not
! unnatural surprise ANY one can I'M
derstand it.'-Chicago Evening Post.
II found four-leaf clover yesterday
while out walking with a young wo-
man. said the breezy young person.
| do you consider that a sign of luck?'
Emphatically," answered the man
| who had his coat off and was toiing.
| IF being able to wander around hunt
| ing four-leaf clovers with a pretty girl
| isn't luck, 1 don't know what is
| Washington Star
Smith-What's wrong, old man? You
/ look worried.
JOnes-I am. You know had my life
| insured last week.
smith--Yes; but what has that got
! to do with it?
Jones-Well. the very next day my
| wife bought a new cook book Possibly
| it's all right, but it certainly looks
| Observation-Disclosures Herald.
| Her hair was Enthusiastically red
She claimed she didn't care.
you'll have to diet, the doctor said
| She thought he meant her hair.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"And you think I married you for
| your money 'tearfully exclaimed young
Mrs. Waxwing. why, Harold, you
know 1 would have married you if you
| hadn't a cent-with the excellent pros
poets you had. '-Chicago Record.
No. said the manager of the pro-
| vincial theater, Il don't think we can
stand another Uncle Toms Cabin this
year.
But this is something new" pro
tested the manager of the company.
We've brought it up to date
| "Oh, I guess we've had all the varia-
lions of it here asserted the manager
| of the theater.
No YOU haven't persisted the man