The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-10-03

"Your honor. / object to any converse
ton carried on between the witness and
the horse when the plaintiff was not
present"
The objection was sustained R9ches-
ter Express.
"Brer Johnson said the elder of one
of the cOlOred churches to the recently
appointed pastor, what does yo t'ink of
de congregashun? We'll, Br'er Jones.
sence YOU asks me, mus say dey is err
scrubby-lookin set" WHY, what does
yo' mean, Br'er Johnson? Dey has mo-
campmeetin's and get 'ligion oftener dan
mos envy congregashun in de town.
Oats jes' it, Brer Jones. dat's ies' it.
Dcy has done wore ont de seats Of dey
pants backslidin' and de knees or prayin
fer fc'gibness. Life.
With a bright smile the beautiful Es
kmo girl left us to join the merry throng
i'll the ballroom.
Your daughter is Il gay butterfly" ]
exclaimed, desiring to be very compli-
mentary.
For my part, l don't think much Of
this social life" replied the mother with
sudden vehemence. THE idea of dancing
every night till away along in March
and then lying i'll bed next day until Au-
gust !, or such matter:
1t was on my tongue to say that these
young people had too much latitude, but
l checked self.-Detrot Journal.
RetOrt COurteOus.-Mrs. Nclu0re-"l
notice you've got new paper III your
hall"
Mrs. Pepprey-"Yes. How do you like
the design
rather loud"
Mrs Pepprey-"Ycs, that's why we Sc
lected it. We thought it might drown
the sound of your daughters piano play
ing" -Philadelphia Press.
God made de worl' fer man: but he
never will be satisfied 'twell he owns ten
acres in de stars, wild a fust mortgage
on de moon.
De good Book say Satan is roarin
lion; but he all time put me in min or :,
fox dat lay low, kaze if he done much
roarin' he'd put folks on notice he wus
comm, Ell dey would git outen his way.
| dunno DIES how high up heaven is: but
| does know dat some folks won't tiptoe
ter reach it.
Lijah gone ter heaven in a cherryoc:
or fire: but people wouldn't try de eXperI
ment in desc days fer fear dey'd git
Scorched.
l dunno w'ether Satan got horns or not
He may be a bilygoat, or he may be Il
Texas steer. All know is. he's Satan;
Ell dat's enough fer me.-Atlanta Consti
tuition.
George W. Perkins tells this about
Senator A. J. Beyeridge. the brilliant
ing Post: "One night at a reception
which the senator and / attended. soon
after his election. the hostess said in
mock surprise: Are you Senator Bev-
eridge-the senator from Indiana? The
senator bowed modestly. 1t hardly seems
possible. Why, YOU are mere beard
less YOUTH Madam replied Mr.. Bev
eridge. without smile, 1 shave"
Gov. Roosevelt is getting very tired Of
being introduced as the greatest soldier
of the Spanish war" 1.-The gallant lead
err of that immortal charge up the death
covered slopes of San JUAN 1.-THE peer
less zen-soldier,' the gallant leader
of the Rough Riders" etc. But he has
to hear it again and again from gentle
men hOnored with the privilege of intro
ducing him. While he was being so in
troduced the other day he turned to a
companion and said in his forcible way:
DO YOU know what | feel like when l
am introduced as the hero of the Span
sh war, the gallant leader of the i'm
mortal charge. and all that sort of stuff?
I'll tell you. l feel like sheep
M. Barries story of how telegraph
editor, receiving Il dispatch that the Zu-
lus had taken umbrage," headed the
news Capture of Umbrage by the Zu-
lus." has been paralleled by an editor in
the West. Shortly after the anti-Semitic
riots in Austria. a slight shock of earth
fnl+ h. 80, -
and a cable dispatch put it tcrsely that
there had been seismic disturbances
near the capital. He headed the item,
Down with the Jews
There are sometimes sharp encounters
of wit at horse deals. says the Scottish
American. The latest we have heard
comes from Falkirk, where a trade was
being effected between a Highland deal
er and a well-known Glasgow man The
seller called out to his man:
Hi, Jock, rim DOT the minister's DOW
ME. There's a beast for We moo. \
gran, lean, lanky beast. L belanged to
the minister O - mentioning High
land parish, and it has got plenty o
preachin'."
''Ay, maybe it has was the canny
answer of the Glasgow man. maybe
it has; but it seems to haze got mighty
little o the stipend"
Il want you to make correction"
said the imperious lady sweeping into
the EDITORS Sanctum In your report of
our meeting yesterday, you speak of the
delegates elected as Mrs. Gen. Skipback
and Mrs Brown You give Mrs. Skip
back her title, why not me?'
ooh, you are Mrs. Brown
eyes. / am Mrs. President -of-the I'm
perialT ile-and- Trust-Company Brown"
philadelphia Press.
Retort Courteous.-Mrs. Nexdore--'I
notice you've got new paper in your
hail. Mrs. Pepprey-"Yes. How do
you like the design Mrs. Nexdore-"It
seems to me it's rather loud Mrs. Pep
prey-"Yes, that's why we selected it.
We thought it might drown the sound of
your daughters piano playing "-Phila-
delpha Press.
The Minister-"Im sorry tae hear.
Jock, that you're all on strike down at
the auld town. I'm surprised at We
Dinna We ken that the Apostle Paul says,
Servants, obey your masters in all
things"" The Elder-'Aye. I ken, but
that's just where me and the Apostle
paul differs ''--MoO chino