Evening star., 1900-03-22
BRAVE LITTLE FELLOWS.
The Messenger Boy Exploits Many OF
His WRONGS.

Yes, I'm messenger boy.
But 1 am not your typical messenger
boy, understand. You fellows make me and
the rest of us very tired, you and the chaps
that illustrate the papers.
You have placed us in the wrong light
before the public, understand? you fellows
and the comic papers. When you run short
of copy or lack a few square inches of
space, what do you newspaper chaps do?
Sit down and write an alleged funny story
about or draw a picture Of who? Why, Of
what you call the messenger boy
Il protest. l protest individually and
collectively. We do not say 'youSe' for
you we do not say dat for that we do
not say de for the we do not say ting
for thing We do not eXclaim with an ex
clamaton point say and .huly gee.' with
every third sentence; we do not say see
and 'dats it. every other line, and l in
dignantly deny that we affirm dat 1t was
dis way in each and every story we are
supposed to relate.
And the comic (eXcuse me while I
laugh) papers make us out as always
tagging on our deliveries, always reading
about Daring Dick and Beautiful Belle, the
great detective, and naughty beauty, re-
spectively; always playing marbles or lying
down, or crawling, or sleeping, or going in
the opposite direction to our destination,
but never, never under any circumstances.
picture making straight, swift and
careful delivery, as is the rule.
Where does the funny part come In?
Opposites. eh? What's that you call it
the antithesis-say it again-of what we are
supposed to be, that makes it funny? 1
don't see it. Is a man struggling In the
agonies of death funny?' Yes? when he's
on the stage and is a comedian-doing what
Stimulating death, then the people laugh?
And you chaps and the comic illustrators
think it is funny to picture us going slow
because a messenger boy is supposed to
travel like a telegraphic message on the
wire; for US to be always on the dead run?
Yes? that's the theory? Well, don't like
the theory nor the practice-none or US do
Looks funny in type to see dis ting and
'youse' and 'togedder' and 'huliy gee,' does
1t?
And through this well meant enough, no
doubt, Misrepresentation, the public has
built up an ideal Of a messenger boy who
does not as matter of fact evist. 1t hurts
1t cuts, this continual flow of alleged wit
and pictorial humor. No one champions
our cause because the ideal, once estab-
Hshed in the public mind is shattered with
difficulty.
Picture us as we are. Think of us a
lot of hard working, industrious little fell
lows who ride, ride all day and far into the
night in all weathers, rain or shine, hot or
cold, snow or sleet, sick or well; always on
our wheels, always on the go, always good
natured and ready to extend a helping hand
to any one we meet, and run the risk of an
inquitous fine for being few minutes late
our return
when you send note to your sweetheart
or wife on a stormy, sleety night, saying
that you cannot come up because of your
business engagements think of the little
chap who will have to ride a mile in the
teeth of the wind and snow to her home
where he will peep into the warm parlor
and see the look of disappointment on her
face as she grows pale under the gas light
because your business is SO very pressing
and you cannot come.
"And think kindly of us little fellows
none of whom make over $50 a month sal
ary, and find our own wheels and clothes
Loo nd hi,lr
We all have on warm undergarments and
nice woolen suits and gloves and good
shoes.
How would you like your own little son
to undergo our hardships colds and coughs.
exposures, kicks, fines. hard work and long
hours. Is he of different mold of flesh
from us?
And The Star will really and truly strike