Evening star., 1900-04-27
A BISHOPS FUNNY STORIES.
Entertain Ing II EN- n SCIENCES of Clergy
men and PurishiOners.
From the London Morning Post.

From the London Morning Post.
The late bishop of Wakefield was a re-
markable man in many ways, distinguish
ed alike for deep, earnest piety, unfailing
cheerfuiness and a strong sense of humor,
and possessing to marked degree the
rare gift Of gaining the love and esteem
of his flock. He loved to hear a good
story, and throughout his life made it g
practice to enter the most amusing Incl
dents and anecdotes of his experience in a
notebook The bulk of the anecdotes re-
late to persons connected with the church,
whether bishops, Wears, curates or hum
Bile vergers. but they are none the less
amusing on that account. Many Of them
center round Wilmington, the Shropshire
parish of which the bishop was rector
from 1851 to 1879. and of his parishioners
he has several quaint stories. For in
stance:
The following words are given verbatim
as spoken by old woman in the parish
on the occasion of my first visit soon after
I became rector: The old man and me
never go to bed, sir, without singing the
evening hymn. Not that I've got any voice
, left, for l haven't, and as for him, he's
like bee in a bottle: and then he don't
humor the tune. for he don't rightly know
one tune from another, and he can't re-
member the words neither; SO when he
/ leaves out word 1 puts it in, and when
| can't sing 1 dances and so we get through
it somehow
Here is another good story:
"A woman IN a small Welsh farm house
Wilmington is on the border of Wales-be-
| ing taken very i'll. neighbor went for the
clergyman. who said he would come di-
rectly. The neighbor. going back to the
| farm house, said they had better get out a
| Bible, as the parson might ask for one.
| The farmer thereupon told the woman she
| would find one. he thought, at the bottom
of an old chest, for thank goodness, he
| added, we have had no occasion for them
sort of books for many long year-never
| since the old COW was so bad "
| But his curates and clerical friends are
| responsible for even more droll stories than
| the laity provided during his rectorship,
one of which deserves quoting:
| 1.-The first time that Archdeacon Wick
ham visited this deanery as archdeacon l
| drove him to a parsonage, where the IN
cumbent insisted upon his inspecting every
| thing. In the garden is little pool. and
| over this pond We beheld a strange erec-
/ ton of posts and planks, with a sort of sad
| dlelike seat on the top. On the archdeacon
| asking the incumbent what 1t was, he eX-
| planned with great delight that it was a
| capital contrivance by which you could
| take exercise and make yourself useful by
| pumping water to the church, where he had
just been building transept. So, saying
| that he would show us, he clambered up,
| sat down on a saddle smiling and began to
| work the treadles eagerly. Unfortunately,
| however the work at the church having
| been just finished, the pipe which had con-
| veyed the water to the Workmen had been
cut off just above the surface of the water.
The consequence was that he Immediately
produced a jet of water which shot straight
| upward and almost lifted him off his seat
entirely upsetting the archdiaconal gravity
AS we returned to the house the incumbent
begged the archdeacon to go into the back
yard and smell the pump, which, he said
stunk horribly. The archdeacon protested
that he had authority over pumps, bui
he would take no denial, and when he go1
! into the back yard he said: Now, Mr.
Archdeacon, If you will put your nose to the
spout, I will pump The archdeacon was