The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-07-29
JOKES FROM A CLERICAL SOURCE.
Some Good Stories Well Told by an English
Clergyman visiting Here.

O~~ VI
Clergyman visiting Here.
From The Washington Post.
An Irishman OF the full blood cannot resist
nm opportunity for repartee, no matter how
solemn the occasion or what his surroundings,
said an English clergyman. a visitor In WASH
ington. the other day. when the conversation
turned on the funny experiences OF clergymen
and the humor that creeps into matters con-
nected with the Church.
i was assisting an old friend OF mine, the
rector OF q church in Ireland, one Sunday. ana
before the service we were in the vestry room
putting on our robes, with the old sexton, a
shrivelled-up Irishman Of the perfect type.
assisting. My friend, who was somewhat old.
was O Little testy that morning and somehow
the sleeve Of his surplice got mixed up. Not
withstandlng the assiduous efforts OF the old
sexton to direct his arm to the right hole the
two would not connect. Finally. losing pa
tisnce. my friend said sharply: 'Ach. the divtl's
In the thing
The old sexton frightened up and. looking
over at me with a twinkle In his eye, said as
quick as lightning. Not, yit. your Riverince.'
and The vsstment was properly adjusted.
"A good story IL told on the other side, OF the
late Bishop Bcckwith Of Georgia, which ! 40
the witty witty sayings = Sr' Of that immensely popula;
and most excellent prelate OF the Episcopal
Church have been Ietold. Some years ago
stay there was for q par Of, The tims 4 guest
at a country house In the middle counties. A
large, number Of people were IN the party as
the o sho9 Ibn m seasGn nag a. ,ui Bis I"mi1 left he was
driven to the station with a young maj who
was also taking his departure from the hospit-
able mension Bishop Beokwith ensoonoed him.
waited for the train 10 start, Leaning back
In his seat, be became aware Of loud and angry
talking Just outside bis window, and looking
out saw his young companion standing with
a hand on the carriage door. while he used
strong language to the porter. who. Il seemed.
had mislald a gun case, and II could not be
expressed himself in unparliamentarv Ian
guage. Just then the sign was given. and.
opening the door, the young man Jumped Into
the Bishop. He was shocked 70 find himself
confronted by his reverend companion. who
he had supposed was somewhere else on the
train. He at once apoloSized for the language
II really beg your lordship's pardon he
said. but am q plain sort OF a fellow and call
a: .Inaesd s' sir'' questioned the, Bishop, with
pplifted eyebrows. ! should have thought
from what YOU have just said hat you would
call II a damned old shovel
THE only time ever heard a congregation
laugh unrestrainedly during the regular SER
vices in a cathedral was back IN the sos, when
1 MAS n reSlQeUI Oh GEAR, uINN l'uDlll. 'u
one SUNDAY. morning the Bishop OF Cork
preached. .Fe was a splendid man, an lrisnman
70 the backbone. and possessed OF as fine a
brosue a. ever distlnsuishsd a son ,p Is Erin, rl
essence Of fashion in Dublin. which, in those
DAYS, was one of the greatest social centres
Of the world H S0,orifS Nr he pe f5IHms were FROM 1lv ,bs
landed estates Of Ireland had taken ablg tumble,
But that made no difference, and good dressing
ne, Ssnt .% as 4 mat df q the CoS ansraS sna wss one T6 ps
Bishop preached on the subject OF e~Strava-
eance. and spoke particularly Of overdressing
sin Of debt and the wickedness Of setting tho
heart on fashion and dress. He attacked tho
over dressed woman, and wound up this par
Vow. surprising every one Of ye-everv
one. man and woman, should stand up In thi.
church. take on the clothes, ye have not paid
back We have paid fora pretty.lookIn' lot
There was a pause untO the real significance
q the suggestion n. had perC ,ion i,0 through
one snickered Every, one was pictqring TO
him and herself N. real scene that would occur
effect while wife looked at husband and mem
hers Of each family nudged one another. The
ludicrous side was Irresistible and the hugh
II oncs attended church at wlhalley. a little
village on the borders Of Lancashire and York.
shire. In England. The church. which had
been a part OF The old aDDey was Dullb IN inc
year 1868 and is to-day one Of the most Int, r
esting sacred edinces In Great Britain. The
rector was a Mr.. Whitaker, very old, very stout
and very deaf. He had occupied the living
for thirty years, and while he generally APP
peared In church and took some part In the SER
vices, he was able 10 afford the luxury OF a ou-
rate and was always glad 10 secure the services
OF q friend TO preach. On one occasion a gem
tleman ! knew very well was 10 o~f1ciate, II
was his custom To limit his sermon 10 twenty
minutes, preaching ex tempore,. and always
took out his watch and his pocket handker-
chief, placing them beside him before COM
mencing. This he did o. usual. and. finding
q very convenient little round receptacle,
stuffed the handkerchief into II. laid the watch
on top and fired away.
The congregation was surprised TO see the
old rector, who was sitting at the bottom desk
OF the 'three-decker' erection, which I suppose
still stands right in the centre and half way
down the aisle-not In the ohancel, as In the
modern churches-beoome very uneasy In his
seat. He squirmed around and looked up,
though every one knew quite well that he could
not hear a word OF the sermon. Finally he
beckoned TO the black-gowned old verger
who carried a long wand, and whispered TO
him. The verecr assembled the pulpit, and
In turn interrupted the sermon by a whispered
conversation with the preacher. who was seen
20 suddenly grasp his pocket handkerchief and
watch. smile and nod, and then proceeded
with his sermon. He had filed the receiver
Of the old rector. ear trumpet, which connected
with q tube 10 the lower desk. and the rector
had been unable TO tell whether any sermon
was going on or not