davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11
FoR THE ANx1ous.
Seine sRPient suggestions for the
EdihCatiOn of UnenIightened
Lm@uiFers.

GloFianna B., of Westport, writes: x
have a young gentleman caller who is al
ways trying to kiss me. How shall I dis
Guade himg'
You should dissuade him with a hatpin
or an ak, Glorianna, but as an all-around'
anti-kiss argument there is nothing so dis
guading and at the same time painless as q
large Bermuda onion, says the Baltimore
American. You should eat one or two or
three before the kissing bug flies around.
Musician, of Waverly, wants to-knoW
how to discover whether or not her piano
keys are ivory or celluloid.'
Touch them carefully with q lighted
match. If they are celluloid you should
then call the fire department.
%Housewife," Of Roland Park, asks:
How can / keep reaches out Of lard?"
Place the butter near by. They prefer It.
Lucy F.. of HighlandtoWn, says: my
hair brush shows a good many falling hairs
every, day. How can | stop them?"
Soak the brush in glue over night.
"Rube:" 1t certainly was inhospitable Of
your friend, whom you were visiting, to re-
fuse to allow you to use his tooth brush.
However we should cultivate d sweetness
Of disposition which will enable us to over
look such traits in others.
Worried" of Gainesville: The quickest
way to remove indelible ink from a carpet
is to pour muriatic acid on the spot. Any
carpenter can mend the hole it will make
In the floor.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11
ROYAL DEALER IN DIAMONDS.
Costly Gems from the German Emper.
Or's Own Mines.

Few folks are aware that the Ger
man emperor is the owner of some
profitable diamond mines in German
southwest Africa. Here is an inter
esting incident anent the splendid
black and white gems which have re-
Gently been brought from those
mines. The first parcel of precious
stonesreachedthe kaiser last autumn,
and he turned the choice contents of
it out on his library table. Then he.
sent a message to his lady relatives,
whom he invited to come and see "a
little surprise" he had in store for
Nm, but without giving them any
RC't as to its character. The ladies
arm J, gazed 1t the miniature
mound at costly gems, turned them
over carelesslg a few times, and ap-
peared somewhat surprised.
"Why have you sent for US to look
at such trifeS as these?" asked one of
the sisters, evidently ignorant of the
intrinsic value of the "trifes" she
toyed with.
"Theseare some of the choicest black
and white diamonds from my own
mines at Barsebaland, and the hand
full you now hold is worth at least
e15,OOO," replied her royal brother.
Then he smilingly added:
'NOw, as you have been handling
my diamonds, you must go into my
searching roOm,' according to the
rule which governs all who enter my
mines or stores"
After which explanation the ladies.
evinced a sincere and enthusiastic in
terest in the shining heaps which
they had ignored. - Golden Penny
Magazine.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11
MEANT TO BE PRACTICAL.
Rude Tumble of a Groom from His Sen
timental Mood.

The happy pair had survived the
congratulations of friends and rela-
lives, and were being whirled rapidly
towards the. railway station, before
the bridegroom began fairly to realize
that the vision of loneliness at his
side was indeed his own.
A daWning sense of what he had
done, and of the sacred charge that
was now committed to his care, be-
gan to creep upon his benumbed fac
ulties, drivingthe rose of health from
his doWny cheek, and substituting
therefor the pallor of haunting re-
sp~onsibilities.
Darling" he whispered, softly,
Kit will ever be my sacred care in life
to-"
She interrupted him somewhat
brusquely. 'Now," said she, "don't
sit on your co~at-tails that way and
get them all Wrinkled up, and for
goodness sake don't lay your elbow
right in that dustl Heaven only
knows how long it will be before you
get another good suit, SO that you
had better take, care ofthis one. Now,
Then we reach the station, you'd bet
ter get a couple Of sandwiches in case
we feel hungry in the train, and two
hard-boiled eggs, snd don't forget a
small paper of pepper and SALT
London Tit-Bits.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11
Reaectionn of a spinster.

Happiness is a matter of tempera-
ment rather than of circumstance.
A man who is ~impervious to tears
and pleading will melt like wax at the
touch of indifference.
A bohemian is a person to whom the
!uxuries of life are necessities and the
necessities Injuries.
People say that they know the world
when their acquaintance is limited to
the flesh and the devil.-Myrtle Reed, in
Judge.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11
oldest Family BIbIe in

UIUeBI FnnlIIy WIDIe IN the
What is probably the Oldest family
Bible in this country, and without
doubt the oldest Dutch Bible, is in the
possession of Capt. George W. Wood,
1900 Eutaw place. 1t is almost 800 years
old and has been in bis family for
nearly that length of time, In all
probability it was purchased by one of
his ancestors soon after it came from
the press, for it was brought to this
country in 163O.-BaItimOre American.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

When a rich man marries a poor girl, she
likes to give the impression that, though
only a wild flower gathered under a way
side hedge, she puts to disadvantage all
the dollhouse plants that now surround
her.-Atchison Globe.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11
NC Coined Philoaopher.

Woman" said the Cornfed Philosopher,
will never succeed in her demand for the
same pay as man for doing the same work.
The only way to get the same pay for the
same work is to howl for more pay for less
work. "-Indianapolis Press.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

"What did Col. StilIwell say about the
branded cherries sent to cheer his con-
valescence?"
"He said he was afraid he wasn't strong
enough to eat the fruit" replied the little
girl, '"but that he appreciated the spirit in
which it was sent. st. Louis Republic.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11
Bathing without Shoulder straps.

The rank and file on the Modder river
were a short time ago forbidden to battle,
and sentinels were posted on the banks to
look for surreptitious swimmers. One Of the
Bentinels caught sight Of a swimmer, who
persistently ignored his summons to sur
render to arrest. Atlast the bather emerged
from the river; the furious sentinel ad-
vanced upon the dripping figure and claimed
q prisoner. "Confound you'll" was the re-
ply, cant you see I'm an ficer?'-London
Chronicle.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

Eyangeline-Have you become acquainted
with many Of the young men in our social
circle?
Angelna-Oh, yes; I know a thing" or
two.-Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11
Do Your Feet Ache ana Rurn1

Shake into your shoes, Aliens Foot-Ease,
a powder for the feet. 1t makes tight or New
Shoes Feel Easy. Cures Corns, Itching,
Swollen. Hot, Callous, Smarting, Sore and
Sweating Feet. All Druggists and Shoe
dress, Allen S, Olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

What an artistic pipe you have" said
Miss Hicks to Barber. artistic? 2" returned
Barber. mot a bit of it. You can't make,
it draW."-Harlem Life,
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

The Best Prescription fog ChilEn
and Fever is a bottle of GROVES TAsFELEss
Tonic. tits simplyirO dguininein
8tastelesB form. N~o'Cure-no pay. Prics,5Oc.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

Shelf it wasn't for the old bachelors
there would be no hirts." He-"If it wasn't
f:- TIE hirts there would be no old bache,
lOrs. Sydney Town and Country Journal.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

The man who is too proud to beg isn't al
ways too proud to hint or proud enough to
refuse what may be ofered.-SomeTviile
journal,
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

"Meet me-" he wrote, con the korner
ct 8 this evening, without fale!"
And she replied:
"There is no such word as tfale.'"
She was q purist.-N. Y. World.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

Mrs. A. G.. Russell, Nashville, Tenn,
wrote: DR.. Moffett's Teethina (Teething
Powders) 10 the greatest blessing to teeth
ing children that the world has ever known.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

A favorite good wish in ireland used to
be, MAY you live to eat the hen that
scratches over your grave"
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

Uncle Sam uses the best of everything.
Uncle Sam uses Carriers Ink. He knows.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

I am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago.-Mrs. Thos.
Robbins, Maple Street, Norwich, N. Y,
Feb II, 1900.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

If you want good digestion to wait upon
your appetite" you should always chew a
bar of Adams Pepsin Tutti Fruit.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

Remember that other peoples business
isn't any of yours.-Chicago Daily Democrat.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

The man who hesitates is lost, but the
woman who. hesitates is won. = Sydney
Town and Country Journal.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

ID PUTNAM FADELEss DYES produce the fast
est and brightest colOrs of any known dye
stuff Sold by all druggists.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

Hairs CatarFh Cure
a Constitutional Cure. Price. z5c.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

Try YucRtRn Chill Tonic OmpFOved).
Cures chills, feVers and malaria. Pleasant
to take. Cure guaranteed. Price, so cents.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

Try YuCatan Chill Tonic QmprOved).
A reliable Tonic; each dose has the same
proportion of medicine. Pleasant to take.
Price, so cents,
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

Some men are lions in society and bears at
home.-Chicago Daily News.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

To Cure a Cold I'm One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. An
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11
The Grand Trunk Railway system

VII serve you well to the choicest resorts
of Canada, and the East.
For fares, descriptive literature, and gen.
eral information apply to j. H. Burgis, City
Passenger and Ticket Agent, 249 Clark St.,
corner Jackson Boulevard, Chicago.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

Fishing is a matter of bait and wait.-Chi-
cagO Democrat.
The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-08-11

SEND 10 MoNEV. V "a Ho money! Rnyoa hasenminod He madhoa nd eoBvnadyouaFmn
-m@ E5H m3h1eg was neWG@ OpoR epdG 0myuhgM ehepea OUR OFFERs
-7EI-I IEIbut WH@yo urn mep plainly GTn Gm mmSof railroad
!. i. ID. !. ]. q. J. j. q. !. :. j. !. ..
" AueNbbon Sewing hnMeW your rail-
&&-HW Inaye pTtNe amdnaHt compared with machines uhtohaB@ IENO 6maa
< 80 9M ~ @&Pm1g. 9aan9y N every wyy uymhe un1TnO obhgah@s6 NAeH
- ~ the Noa machine mW newt Hnd FvsDmWF Drop Hd OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
y "a NARSe W~Wousa HenpsRt ssWhgh Machine values Guaranteed 40 Weam.
- r. NJ ROBERTS SUPPLY HOUSE, minneapolis, Mimi.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1900-08-10

Hanna proposes 70 partially buy
and partially steal the presidency and
Maj. Mckinley stands ready 10 accsp
the Office thus obtained Since the day
Moses brought down the tables Of
stone from Sinai the moral relation
between the one who steals and the
one who receives stolen goods has been
fixed unalterably Kansas City Times.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1900-08-10

what the Country IL Coming To tn
der the Republican Adj
ministration.

The republican leaders seek TO make
pa ople believe that there Is no such is
sue in this country as that of inn
perialism, with its adjunct or prop of
militarism.
They seek to suppress the fact that
the essence of ins perialism is not au-
tocracy at home. but the exercise of
dominion over alien peoples without
their consent and against their will.
This dominion over alien subjects
may he exercised by congress no
less really or extensively than by an
emperor. The Objectionable thing is
the exercise Of arbitrary power over
conquered subjects rather than the
agency through which that power is
exercised. The Objectionable thing, in
short, is Imperialism rather than an
emperor.
Where there is Imperialism an en-
peror is pretty sure TO appear. Rome
was imperial while il was still repub-
lie. but the emperor followed imperial
ism as a natural sequel.
Those who will open their eyes cam
not fail TO see the same tendency here.
An empire with unwilling subjects can
only be held together by pinning il
with bayonets. Imperialism must be
backed by a great army.
We have found that out already.
Our army is four times as large as it
was before the imperial policy was
entered upon, and we are continually
hearing that il is not large enough.
Macarthur cannot spare men from the
Philippines even during the rainy sea-
son, and he must have more as soon
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1900-08-10
THE SIGNS ARE RIGHT.
Good Indicstions That Illinois, gnass
ann and Wisconsin VIII 90
Democratic.

Ex-President Harrison admits that
IT viii not surprise him should In
diana go democratic this fall. This
admission, while il will amaze some
eNuberant republican prophets. is in
line with the best information obtain
able as 70 the situation in the Hoosier
state. Those who, on the strength OF
the 10000 Mckinley plurality Of >,us
years ago. are asserting that Mr..
Bryan cannot carry Indiana" should
read and ponder what the independent
republican indianapolis News says:
The more that one knows OF the situ-
alton In Indiana the less will one venture
10 predict the result OF the election next
November. And those people who are
saying so freely now. four months prior
10 the election. that Mckinley TOR Bryan.
as the case may bel cannot carry Indiana
AFFORD by these very assertions the best
proof that they do not know what they
are talking about For the slightest in
vestigation will show them that there are
many uncertain elements in the prob
lem"
Gen. Harrison. who knows the stu
alton in Indiana better than most men
can know il. evidently believes that the
democrats have the better chance in
that state. This is most encouraging
and hopeful sign. BY general consent,
the battle will be fought in New York.
Indiana. Illinois, Ohio. Michigan and
Wisconsin, each of which is regarded
as debatable ground.
The Porto Rico tariff will be an issue
secord only to the overshadowing ques-
ton Of Imperialism. throughout the
middle west. The policy pursued by
President Mckinley and the republi-
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1900-08-10

Salem, Mass. is the home of this
building. which contains collections
of the Essex institute and of the East
India Marine society. The scientific
cabinets of the Essex institute are
extensive and well-arranged. and the
collections OF the Marine society in
clude many curiositics from oriental
countries and other distant nations.
Among the numerous crTiosities is a
piece Of wood carving in the form of
two hcmispheres ~ inches in diam
eter. in the concayitics Of which are
carved representations on the one
hemisphere Of Heaven and on the 9TH
cr of hell. There are 10 full-length
figures in the carving. and the whole
is very skillfully executed. Ii Is said
to be the work of an Italian monk
Of the fourteenth celtury.-Dctroit
Free Press
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1900-08-10
HUMOROUS.

Sunday at the Zoo.--Mr. Murphy
"lIxcusc me, sorr: but can We direct
me TO the goin out intrance ?"-
Punch.
She-"There's a cold wave coming"
He-"No. paid II this morning." She
Paid what?" IIe-"The iceman's
bill."-Ohio State Journal
Midget wonder how the Circas-
sian girl ever got such long hair"
Giant-"Shc says that when a child
her nurse tolc her Embarrassing
ghost story."-l ailadelphia Record.
an historian. The personal equation
is too strongly in evidence in all
that he writes You mean 20 show
he isn't equal to it, presIme."-De-
troit journal.
Book Agent-"I want to sell you
this little book on what 10 do before
the doctor comes" Watts-"I sup
pose there are directions as to the
best way of mortgaging your salary?"
indianapolis Press.
A Wesleyan Delnition.-"What is
coeducation, my son?" 1T is fool
ish system of education. father,
whereby the male students are per-
petually condemned to see themselves
crowded from first honors by an in
ferior sex."-Cleyeland Plain Dealer
"You need change" said the doc
tor. II think you should take a trip
TO Europe" ''Well, DOCTOR" said the
man with a large and expensive fam
lily, you need change, too, I'm
thinking" Really" Yes. You
want to change your mind."-rhila-
delphia Press.
''Yes. yes." exclaimed the New
Man. But how am ! to throw dust
in the eyes of the people," The way
to mans eyes," replied the Skilled
Politician. brusquely. but not I'M
kindly, lis through his pocket" Now
this not only proposed MEDIUM OPP
erandi but intimated, as well, some
thing as TO what was meant by the
term dust. in the ultimate analysis
Detroit Journal.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1900-08-10

Across the upland pasture zone
1vth fringe OF spring pines.
r,,m stile 10 stile by dune and stone,
Ths well-worn foot-path winds.
.,a awcllers on the windy waste.
III lowiands vending down.
Will take for ease. or eager haste.
The by-path way TO town.
e. n,ssed the early settlers through
Th. seasons bloom. or snow.
when an the land was wild and new.
a hundred years ago
A-oss the knobs OF teaching sand,
through valleys green IL leads
An reaches of fair pasture land
H., lde a pool with reeds.
.,3 over II his rocky crown
THE mountain lifts beyond.
Whose shaggy image softened down
Lies In the lilied pond
vhatthrongs OF maynard feet have passed
Thes, barren fields across.
r., M. IL the broad highway al last,
Where woven shadows toss.
Here passed the lover I'm his pride
on business TO tie town.
Ard here the fair. expectant bride,
~ buy her wedding gown.
The spend;hrift 10 his folly sped
rna rcveller TO his wine.
And b. who went as honor led
M wisdoms ways divine:
And homeward when they took their
ways
Across the foot-path field.
Ths sober sang their songs OF praise.
The tipplers cursed and reeled.
beaten course their steps have made:
tn. path that winds and veers
Shows how the weary feet have strayed
Through ali the hundred years.
An on and on the pilgrims go.
Though shadows gather fast.
s. met beyond life's sunset glow
The broad highway at last
-Berjamin +. Leggett. In Ladies World.
Nv York
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1900-08-10
INFLAMMATORY RHEUMATISM
lite beg ming and symptoms and the
Uncertainty Of Its Re-
curreuce.

The name rheumatism is applied 10
great variety of affections accom-
panied With pain in the joints or mus
c.es, some Of them more Of equity or
uric-acid nature. others probably OF
infectious origin. and others still the
expression Of some disease of the nerv-
Gus structures.
Acute articular. or infammatory,
rheumatism j. a disease characterized
by pain and swelling i'm one or more of
the joints. usually the larger ones.
such as the knee. together with fever
Of more or less intensity. Ii is a dis
ease Of temperate climates. especially
in cold and damp regions. being very
seldom seen in he tropics. II occurs
in this country chiefly in late winter
and early spring, although il may oc-
cur. particularly on the seacoast. at
any time Of the year. In England il is
said TO he most frequent in the au-
tumn. says Youths Companion.
Ii attacks persons between the ages
Of Is and ~ more commonly than
those who are Older or younger.
Physicians are not yet agreed as TO
its nature. although many now incline
to regard IL as a germ disease. 1t be
gins gradually with slight aching in
the limbs. sore throat and a general
feeling OF depression. The appetite
fails. the tongue il heavily coated
often there is complaint OF headache.
and the sufferer is generally "out OF
sorts" There is fcvcrishness. and rs
this increases. pain and swelling APP
pear in one or more of the large
joints. The joints attacked are hot,
red and exquiSitely painful, and have
every appearance Of being severely in
famed.
All these symptoms may disappear
in a single night from one joint. and
appear at the same time in another;
and so the disease may go on. attack
ing one joint after another. those first
affected recovering much Of their
tone and function. One Of the char
acteristic symptoms : profuse per-
SEPARATIONS: the skin is not red and
dry. as in most fevers. but cool. moist,
and sometimes actually dripping with
sweat.
The disease may come 10 an end in
a week or ten days. or il may go On
attacking joint after Joint, and when
all have suffered II may begin over
again and 20 on Indefinitely. As long
as the rheumatism Is confined to the
joints there j. little danger. although
occasionally death results from ex-
cesslve fever; but there is always dan
ger that IT. may attack the lining mem.
brane Of the heart and. cripple the or
gan permanently. Rarely it attacks
the membrane OF the brain, causing
violent delirium or death.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1900-08-10
as the weather will permit active

as the weather will permit active
operations.
With a large army comes the exer-
else Of arbitrary power by the presi-
dent. 1t is necessary to intrust him
with such power. Therefore our lib
srty.oving fathers wisely insisted that
large standing army must not be
created.
Current events prove their wisdom.
With an army of 100000 the president
assumes 10 govern without congress.
Instead Of converting the representa-
tives Of the people in n crisis like the
present he takes action which as like
ly as not may involve us in a pro-
longed war of vast extent and taxing
our resources in men and means TO
the extreme of impoyerishment. and
this he does without consulting the
representatives of the people.
This he could not do without a large
army. Without that he would have TO
call congress together
If the people show no concern when
the president assumes such enormous
responsibilities and involves the com
try in such perils. II they willingly
trust everything TO one man. they
show that they are pretty nearly ripe
for an emperor military master
ms well as for Imperialism or the inn
position OF a hated yoke upon con-
qucred subjects beyond the seas
Chicago Chronicle.