Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1900-07-25


ucation and bulwarks of liberty seem
to come in jest right and hit the school
house on all sides at once. | fur one
am standin neutral in this bizness. and
I'd like to hear both sides of the ques-
tlon. Mebbe Sllas Lapham, who lives
next door to the schoolhouse, would
like to make n few remarks"
"As fur me-" says Silas as he rises
up, "I'm ag'in the idea of llghtnin
rod. That there schoolhouse was built
13 years ago. and durin them 13 years
we've had II thunderstorms. If she's
lodged 72, why can't she dodge 200?
Why can't she keep right on dodgIn till
she tumbles down of old age? Forty
dollars fur llghtnin rod means more
taxation. Thar's sich thing as an
emporium Of education, but thar's also
sich n thing as an emporium of taxa
ton. Jericho Is out of debt and no
one kickin. but let the hand of ex-
cessive taxation clutch her throat, md
how long would it take to strangle the
life out Of her? I'm askin you to
pause and ponder afore it is too hate"
"Slas, you've made pint and a
strong one" says the deacon when the
applause has subsidized. "If the school
house has lodged T2 thunderstorms,
thar's no reason to think she won't
keep up the record. Yes. it's a pint,
and mebbe the lightnin rod man would
like to answer it,"
81 don't think much of the pint"
says the man as he gifts up ag'in.
"Thar's S0,000,000 people in these Unit
ed States, and because none of 'em fell
down stairs last year 1t don't foller
that heap of 'em won't tumble down
this year. I've known man to 60 on
dodgin mules heels fur 10 years and
then git 'em both In the stomach at
once. Mebbe your schoolhouse will
dodge n hundred more thunderstorms,
and mcbbe we will skassly hev sought
our vlrtuous couches this night before
thunderbolt rs big as a bar'l will go
drivin through her and leave nuthin
but heap of splinters 10 mark the
spot where your emporium Of educa-
tlon once reared Its proud roof to the
blue vaults of heaven. | said $40 to
the town board today, but in order to
show my interest In the cause of edu-
cation and to prove to you that my
hand is ever stretched forth to uphold
the prestige of nation Of freemen
I'll make the price $685."
Hes made n pint, gentlemen-he's
made pint" says the deacon as he
whacks on the stove and looks around.
"Yes, sir when lie talks about our
schoolhouse rearln it's proud roof to
the blue vaults of heaven he's made a
pint, and I'm more favorable TO the
lightnin rod than | was. l think this
crowd would like to hear from Enos
Williams"
"I'm with Sllas Lapham," says Enos
as he shets up his jackknife and gifts
his feet under him. I'm fur lettin
sartln things dodge or bust. They
wanted TO insure the meetip house "a
her dodge. She's thar yit. I've got a
barn 80 years old. and she's never had
n llghtnIn rod or been insured-jest
had 10 dodge or bust all these years
and she's thar yit. Seventeen years
ago, when ! built my house, | put a
bell on the front door, Nobody has
rung that bell to this day. II would
be the same II we put l!ghtnln rod
on the schoolhouse--you wouldn't see Il
thunderstorm around here fur the next
10 years. I'm all right on the empo
rum of education blzness, and | can
see that thar schoolhouse rearin It's
proud roof to the blue vaults of heaven
as plain as II II wasn't 0 o'clock at
night, but don't see no call TO pay
out S3S, Let ner dodge or bust"
'"rhar's n pint thar, Enos-thar's a
pint" says the deacon as he hits a
cracker bar'l with his cane, Yes, sir,
thurs n good deal In your theory about
dcdgin. When all the cows around
here was hevin the lump jaw, a fe.ler
offered 10 protect mine ag'in 1t fur So
said I'd let her take her chances, and
she come through all right, obsarvt
Moses Forbush among the audience
and, as Moses built the fence around
the schoolhouse. mebbe he's got sun
thin to say"
II amt ag'in lightnln rods" says
Moses In his slow way--"Im not aG'ir