Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1900-01-24
GuANO AND COTTON.

GUANO AND COTTON.
Although the weight of experience
and opinion is strongly in favor of tn
liberal use of commercial fertilizers OF
all crops, especially cotton, still ther'
are those who are doubtful as tt
whether the use of guano is profitable
as a business proposition. 1t is fac
that some make money by the use o
guano and some lose it; therefore, t.
settle the matter to the satisfaction o
all is impracticable. About as gooc
an illustration of the merits of tht
question as can be had is to be fouuC
in little story that was told in the
presence of the reporter few day:
ago. .-'
The incident is told as fact, and i:
said to have occurred in this county
but as all the evidence is hearsay, it is
not advisable to rely upon it too i'm
plicity, and for obvious reasons it is
Just as we'll not to use the names
The point, if there is any point, stands
out Just as clearly without such spec
i6cations. Here is the story for the
fun that is in it.
The good husband and wife are well
to.do people generally, and make a
good living bu, it is understood that
the husband being rather fond of the
social glass, the management of affairs
falls largely to the wife, who is lady
of business management and determl'
nation. On the present occasion the
husband had been sent to town with
the wagons to bring home the annual
supply of commercial fertilizers, and
shortly after his arrival he fell in with
his old friend General Blank, who is
also farmer of Indifferent success, on
account Of his easy going ways. The
general is fond of his glass, and it was
not a great while before each had
drank to the others health, and pres
emily the good husband broke out like
this
General, l have come to town to
see about buying some guano; but l
am not certain as to whether guano
pays, and am rather undecided about
what to do. What is your advice ?"
"Well, I'll tell you," remarked the
general, assuming all air of the super
ior wisdom that is born of long exper-
ieuce, 81 have farmed good many
wears, and watched the thing closely.
My conclusion is that if you do not
use any guano you will not make any
cotton, and if you do Use guano you
wont make any money"
"Just my opinion, exactly" said
the good husband, land so I'll not buy
any guano this year." After the two
old friends had drank each others
health again several times, the good
husband set out for home with empty
wagons, not having even purchased the
other articles that the good wife had
put on the list. AS he drove up in the
yard, the good wife at once noticed
the usual condition that he was ac-
cuslomed to bring from town but was
puzzled at the empty wagons. With
evidence of considerable ginger in the
tone of her voice, she demanded:
"John Henry, where is that guano
sent you after ?"
"Well, Mariah, I'll tell You it was
just this way" explained John Henry.
"Up at town, 1 met my old friend
General Blank, and he told me that it
had been his experience that if we
used no guano we would make no
cotton, while if we used guano we
would make no money, so Though we
had better take rest for awhile"
At this philosophy, the good wife
almost collapsed; but presently she
collected herself, and making no effort
to restrain her rising temper, she de-
livered something like this:
II sent you to town to get guano
and you only get drunk. Get down
out Of that wagon and go to bed.
What does General Blank know about
farming anyway? IF you don't use
guano, of course, you are not going to
make money; but what is the differ
ence. If you do use guano and make
plenty Of cotton, YOU don't need any
money. You'll 60 back to town to-
morrow and get that guano, and you
will stay away from General Blank
too, or I'll know the reason why"