The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-05-23

sneaking up the alley. As each one of
them was armed with more or less
businesslike revolver she became alarmed
for the safety of the domestic animals
in the vicinity.
Raising the window, she hailed the
band: Boys, what are you going to
doT'
No answer.
Are you going to kill cat?'
Still no answer.
Boys, if you don't answer me at once
| shall call the policeman and have every
one Of you arrested"
This broke the ice. The boy in front,
with the most murderouslookingw weapon
OF tho lot. looked up and said:
All. shut up; we're playing soldier.
And the elderly lady retired.
She was standing On the front porch
reading in the story paper, which had
just come in the mail.
Madam" said Meandering Mike
did ! see you brush away tear jes
now"
"Sposn l did" she returned. Its no
business of yours"
Il spoke in kindness, lady. You amt
treatin' yerself right to cry an read both
at once. It's double strain on yer
eyes. All You InlSnl as we'll listen 10 NY
hard-luck stories, an save yer eyes ex-
clusvely fur de weeps If you like
touchin' stories, lady, here's yer chance
to have 'em brought to yer door, an you
needn't pay So a years subscription in
advance. neither. It's de chance of yer
life lady. to trade off cold victuals for
pathos w ashington Star.
''The man came this morning for the
Il Nv, tho WA
all go into"
''Church?'
NO. no. They keep it at the drug
stores
"Bathtubs?"
NO, no. They get them out every
year"
Give it up
why, city directory
Mrs. Greene-"Yes, young Stoughton
does frequent drinking saloons but
don't think he does it because he likes
it,
Mrs. Gray-''He isn't compelled to Wis
it such pla ces''
Mrs. Greene-"No, / suppose not. ex-
ccpt III q conventional sort of way But
as | said, don't think he enjoys enter
ing saloons. | happened to see him the
other day as he went into one. and af-
went ia he looked terribly glum, showing
that be was doing what was not agree
able, but when he came out he was as
cheerful as you please showing of course
that he was glad to make his escape from
the place. Boston Transcript.
-:O:--
'Never mind" said the comforter to
the detected lover. Don't let one refu-
sal deter YOU. Ask her again. A wom-
ans no often means yes"
"A woman's no may sometimes mean
yes, replied the rejected one, but | am
convinced that a woman's nit means
no.'-Pittsburg acknowledgement
-:o:-
1--WE are most eatin' up by taxes.
Weary
.Wot's de matter now, Dusty?"
TOO much war taxes OF man."
Affect you any, Dusty?'
Me; | should say, Wy. you know
dump back there and carried along to
catch beer drippin's in?''
Yes
''Wel, sir that there bottle had to
have war tax stamp on it. Wot do you
think of that?'-Cleveland Plain Dealer
with the help of Providence" said
the pious physician, Il hope to restore
you TO nealtn
.'Ah"' exclaimed the sick woman whose
sole ambition was the achievement of so
cial distinction, IF | must have the eli
mate Of Rhode Island. why not New
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Press.
-:o:-
President Eliot of Harvard at an alum
hi dinner some time ago. said: Il cannot
acknowledge that as the years 90 by
am growing old. l have evidence to the
contrary. When | was proctor mt Cam
bridge, Il few years after my graduat ton.
/ learned that the students spoke of me
habitually as 'Old Eliot A few nights
ago. on the other hand, l met a group of
students in the street. and when | passed
them | heard one say TO the others: L
wonder where Charlie has been so late" J"
"Mr. Crouch said the POSTMASTER.
will now respond to the toast, The La
dies"
The Savage Bachelor arose, pale and
determined.
'The ladies'" said he. 1.-THE ladies'
God bless them, nevertheless" Indiana
polls Press.
Papa PREACHING for the rod}-"Now,
young man, L II attend to YOU. What
have you to say for yOurself! Tommy
Let it come, pop; but, say, as a spe-
cial favor, while you're doing it, please
J.@,,S +l,% I'D H.,