Mexico Missouri message., 1900-12-27
"SEND FOR THE r.
r. FOOL-kILLER.'

the Chicago Times Herald:
When Uncle Wesley and Aunt
Grace and the Bassetts were here
Tuesday mite Uncle Wesley told
paw he OF to Join a Bowling club
becoz it was lots of Fun and good
for the Sistum.
"Well," pa said, "mebby | OF,
but | see they are a Chicago doctor
says it's Bad thing to eXersize
too much by walking home from
the offus when you haft to keep
your Brain going All day. Some
times | almos' think it might be
true. | don't see why ennybuddy
wants to walk three miles when
you can buy pills for seven cents a
Bottle at the Department store
and get Strap in a street ear if
you watch your Chance and have
sents enough to Start before the
Rush hour. Anuther nice Thing
about riding Home in Stree t
car is you Can let your breath
freeze And rest on the way by
kind of leaning Against it.
"But, after all, | mite stand a
Little more Action than get a
round the House, if they are emmy
fun in it. What | need most in
Life is amewsment. This thing of
Staying at home mite after mite
without ennything ever Going on
to make you laff and Forget the
World has its Dark side is Bad
thing. It's got to be stopt Some
way, so when you Go Bowling IA
gain | wisht you'd take me along
and See how | like it,
The next afternoon paw Got off
erly and Me and little Albert and
nav and Mrs. Bassctt went along,
becOz the Bassetts are in the club.
When they were a-going to
commence paw got Hold of the
Biggest ball he Could see, and
Uncle Wesley said:
Hold on. Start with Il little
one. You'll brake your back if
you try it with that one"
Mrs. Bassett was looking at paw
like if it surprised her to see how
strong he was, and he says to I'm
Gle Wesley:
"Never you mind about me,
Yves. Mebby it might take lit
tie practus for me to get so | can
roll them straight enuff to mock
the pins all Down every time.
But they wont be emmy trubble
about Getting them Too big. |
don't do emmy Steddy hammer
Throwing or ennything Like That.
But | want you tounderstand they
are nothing Flabby about me just
the Same
"All rite" says Uncle Wesley,
Ego ahed if that's the Way you
feel about it. But you better take
off your cote and put on n pair of
Rubbers till you get a little used
to it,"
Say" paw says, "some of YOU
people That never worked ON n
Farm aud Termed to pitch a Tun of
hay in seven minutes make me
Laif. This'll be Child's play for
me. Go ahed, and let's see How
YOU do it,"
SO Uncle Wesley took Ball
about half as Big as the One paw
was Holding up with both hands,
and after he Got back n piece he
ran Down the alley as hard as he
could and Let err Go, He only
nocked Down seven pins, and then
paw Started. He had on his long
tailed coat, and When he Got to
going full Speed it Stuck out Like
Il Table cloth on II close line when
the wind blows. After he Got to
the place where he wanted to Stop
he gave swing with the Ball as
hard as he could, and it was all
Slippery so his feat flew mp and |
couldn't help wondering if me and
nav and Little albert would ride
in a carriage all by Ourselves GO
ing to the Funeral or if They
would be somebuddy in to keep us
cumpany. After Il while He came
Down like when the Coal wagon
is backed up to the Sidewalk and
the Teamster lets the gate fall be-
hind. The ball rolled often the
alley about half way Down to
where the pins We're.
When paw Got SO he Could sit
nm nav cot Hold of his hand and