davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16
HUMOROUS.

Husbands Regret.-Herr Grimper
(whose wife has just boxed his ears)
And l, like donkey, once begged
for that hand. '-Lustige Blaetter.
Chance for Hero.-"When marry,
1t will be a brave hero, who fears
nothing" May-"Yes, dear; I am
sure you will never wed any other
kind of man."-Philadelphia Bulle-
lin.
Written Examinat ation.-"Th Bos-
ton school teacher wanted me to
propose by letter" "What for?" "She
said many man who was all right
on grammar was terribly shaly ON
spelling. indianapolis journal.
How He Got -Custodian-''So
you changed your mind about taking
that fat as soon as you went inside? ?''
Portly-'Change nothingl Wasn't
room in there even to change my
mind; I just backed Denver
News.
The Deeper Disguise. - Sergeant.
"Shall detail an officer in citizens
clothes?" Captain-"It won't do to
have his identity suspected. Better
detail an officer with citizens man.
ners, to make assurance doubly sure.''
Detroit journal.
He Looked His Character.-Amateur
Actor-"What character am 1 to take
in the play?" Manager-"You are to
personate the villain" Amateur Ac-
tor-"H How do | make up?" Manager
You don't have to; that's why
you were chosen for the part. Rich
mond Dispatch.
The Mendicant.-"Beg pardon, sir;
but haven't mad anything to eat for
a week." The Philanthropist-"Le Let
me congratulate you upon your sue
Dess in SO interesting an experiment.
1t must be great saving to you, and
I'm sure you're looking well."-Bos-
ton Transcript.
A Seeker of Peace.-The intoxicated
gentleman made his way unsteadily
into Wun Lungs laundry, and deliv-
cred huge bundle of linen with the
remark: "Zhere oil man! Un'stan'
you KILN mishnaries. All RI. Come
'roun' my houshe. My muzzer-in-law
use be ry."-Baltimore Amer
lean.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16
Gil COUNTY. Md, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER I6 1900. NO. II.

addressing himself to the princess, chow
much money you possessed just before
you left Vienna2''
The lady looked up at him in surprise,
but did not answer.
SIN heavens name, what has that to
do with the loss of the diamonds 2''
raped out the prince, his hot temper
getting once more the better of him.
Cadbury Taylor spread out his hands
and shrugged his shoulders in protest
at the Interruption. He spoke with def
erence, but nevertheless with touch
Of reproach in his tone.
81 am accustomed to be listened to
with patience and am generally al
lowed to tell my story my own way.
your highness."
''What complain of is that you are
not telling any story at all, but are ask
ing instead very impertinent ques-
ton
Questions which seem to you irrele-
want may be to trained mind most -
'.Boshi Trained donkeysl Do you
know where the diamonds are7''
eyes, do. answered Cadbury Tay-
lor, still imperturbable, in spite of the
provocation he was receiving.
'Well, where are they?''
"They are in the vaults of your bank
in Vienna.
81 don't believe it. Who stole them,
fhen7''
''They were put there by her high
mess the Princess Won Steinheimer,
doubtless in security for money
'Whatl' roared the prince, spring
ing to his feet his stentorian voice
ringing to the ceiling. "Do you mean
to insinuate. you villain, that my wife
stole her own diamondsf'
''If your highness would allow me to
proceed in my own -
Enough of this fooling There are
the diamondsl' cried the prince, jerk
ing the box from his pocket and fling
Ing it on the table.
'sTherel" shouted old man Briggs
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16
REPUTATION OF THE PIG.
Some Opinions as to the True Ma
ture and InclinatiOns of
the Animal.

The pig is on trial. There is great
difference of opinion concerning his
habits and character, says the New
York journal.
The common idea, which has passed
into a proverb, is that pigs wallow
In the mire from sheer love of filth, but
some pig fanciers claim that this un-
pleasant habit is really due to love
of cleanliness, and that if pigs are sup
piled with pure water for bathing pur-
poses they will make use of it in prefer
ence to mud.
An Austrian breeder says that the
swine of his district are scrupulously
neat, adding that possibly they owe
this popularity to a serum with which
they have been inoculated for a GER
tain epidemic, as the pigs which have
not been inoculated are not so clean
as the rest.
A Partisan pig lover also casts his
vote in favor of the essential cleanli-
ness of pigs.
"The pig is a clumsy and stupid an
imal," he writes, ''but by no means
so foul as his reputation. At my coun-
try house l have small piggery, the
pens of which have inclined and
cemented floors, with good drainage.
The pens are arranged in pairs, with
communicating doors. Now, whenever
single lodger finds himself in sole
possession of one of these suites of
apartments he invariably selects the
upper cell as bedroom, and takes
care to avoid communicating it in any
way. In short, pig is what you make
of him."
On the other hand, former mayor
of provincial town says that his pig
pens are built on pebbly beach a
few yards from the river, so that the
ing facilities. Near by is sort of
quagmire, formed by the efiidx of a
road gutter and drain.
The pigs never enter the pure water
of the stream except when they, are
driven in, but lose no opportunity of
wallowing in the quagmire, from which
they emerge black, repulsive and odor-
Gus. And it never seems to occur to
them to wash off this offensive in
cEuStdliou Dy d UP III tne stream.
The defense is resumed by a man
from the Pyrenees, who asserts that
the pigs that roam at large in his dis
trict take daily bath and swim in a
stream, and appear to enjoy it. Their
rosy flesh cleaning through their spot
less coat after the bath presents a
very refreshing and appetizing appear
ance.
So the case stands. Are there two
kinds of pigs, clean and unclean? Or
is it a matter of race atavism, of food :?
Who shall say?
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16
An EXPLANATION.

''John. said the funny mans wife
sternly, "did you write this horrid
mother-in-law joke in The Weekly
Snicker2"
Eyes, my dear. +" replied John hum
bly,, 'sbut"-
.Well, l think you are just too mean
for anything Hasn't my mother al
ways treated you like her own son"
eyes, love, ! know she has. "but
then
"Don't try to excuse yourself. If ]
mad ever supposed you capable of such
baseness, / never should have married
you. don't see how you will be able
to look her in the face when she comes
to visit us next week =
''You don't understand, said John
desperately. ''She told me that joke
herself. and it will tickle her to death
to see it in print San Francisco
Examiner
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16

"If there are any letters from-from-
men, actu you bring them to mef'
secret drawer in her dressing room. but
she is SO careless with her keys and
about everything else that am sure !
can get them for you. If you want
them"
.sYes. yes. l want them." said the
prince, ''and will pay You handsomely
for them
"Very well. replied Miss Baxter
''you shall have them. If you will wait
here ten minutes. l shall return with
them. I"
"But." hesitated the prince. 'say
nothing to the princess.
"Oh, mol shall not need to. The
keys are sure to be ON her dressing
table "
Miss Baxter ran down to the room Of
the princess and had little difficulty in
obtaining the keys. She opened the Sc
cret drawer into which she had seen the
princess place the packet of letters. and.
taking them out. she drew another
sheet of paper along with them. which
she read with wide opening eyes; then
with her pretty lips she blew long.
astonished whistle Taking both the
packet of letters and the sheet of paper
with her, she ran swiftly up the stair
and along the corridor to the room
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16

you to set your ingenuity at work and gain
admittance If possible, for / am determined to
have an account of this ball written in such
way that every one who reads it will know
that the writer was present. If you can man
age this, can hardly tell you how grateful
the proprietor and myself will be. Yours very
truly, RADNoR HARDwICK.
Miss Jennie Baxter sat for some mo-
ments musing, with the letter in her
hand. Suddenly her eyes lit up, and she
sprang to her feet
"What fortunate thing it is, she
cried aloud, ''that did not send on the
refusal of the princess to the Duchess
of Chiselhurstl / had forgotten all
about it till this moment,
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16

bringing his clinched fist down on the
oak. "What did / tell you? knew it
all along. The prince stole the dia-
monds and in his excitement yanks
them out of his pocket and proves it. I
said SO from the first.
s'Oh, father, fatherl' moaned the
princess, speaking for the first time.
How can you say such thing2 My
husband couldn't do mean action if
he tried. The idea of his stealing the
diamonds Not if they were worth a
thousand millions and detection impos-
sible.
ssCome, come" cried Miss Jennie
Baxter, stepping energetically forward.
81 imagine everybody has had enough
of this. Clear out, Mr.. Briggs and take
Mr.. Taylor with you. I am sure he has
not had any breakfast yet, and he GER
tainly looks hungry. If you hire detect
ives. Mr.. Briggs, you must take care of
them. Out you go. The dining room is
ever SO much more inviting just now
than the library, and if you don't see
what you want ring for it.
She drove the two speechless men out
before her and. closing the door, said to
the prince, who was still standing be-
wildered at having his hand forced in
this manner:
"Therel Two fools from four leave
two Now, my dears-I'm not going to
highness either of you-you are simply
two lone people who like each other
immensely, yet who are drifting apart
through foolish misunderstanding that
a few words would put right if either
of you had sense enough to speak them,
which you haven't, and that's why I'm
here to speak them for you. Now,
madame. / am ready to swear that the
prince has never said anything to me
that did not show his deep love for
you, and if you had overheard us you
would not need me to tell you So He
thinks Schaumberg-not that I ever
saw the poor man, but he is bound to
be an idiot or the prince wouldn't be
jealous Of him. AS nobody had stolen
the diamonds after all this fuss, SO no
one has stolen the affection Of either of
You from the other can see by the
way you look at each other that won't
need to apologize for leaving you alone
together while l run mp stairs to pack
"Oh, but you are not going to leave
usi'' cried the princess.
81 should be delighted to stay, but
there is no rest for the wicked. and l
must get back to London"
With that the girl ran to her room
and there reread the letter she had re-
ceived. 1t ran:
DEAR Miss BAxTER-we are In . very
considerable dilemma here. so write to ask
you to return to London without delay. GO
ing back to the Tyrol later on to finish the
investigation of the diamond mystery. The
Duchess of Chiselhnrst is to give q great ball
on the Goth. Il is to be very swagger affair,
with notables from every part of Europe. and
they seem determined that no one connected
with newspaper shall be admitted. We have
set at work every influence to obtain an invi-
tation for reporter. but without success, the
reply invariably given being that an official
account will be sent TO the press Now. want
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16
(chapter II continued from last week. j

(Chapter II continued from last week
The correspondence of the princess
was in the utmost disorder There were
hundreds upon hundreds Of letters,
many of which she could not tell wheth-
er they had been answered or not. and
Miss Baxter set to work tabulating and
arranging them Meanwhile the young
newspaper woman kept her eyes open
She wandered about the castle unmo-
Tested. poked into odd corners, talked
with the sery ants and, in fact, with ev
cry one, but never did she come upon a
clew which promised to lead to solu-
tion of the diamond difficulty Once she
penetrated intoa turret room and came
unexpectedly upon the prince, who was
sitting on the window ledge, looking
absently out on the broad and smiling
valley that lay for miles below the cas-
tie. He sprang to his feet and looked SO
iercely at the intruder that the girls
heart failed her, and she had not even
the presence of mind to turn and run
"What do ycu wanta' he said to her
shortly. for he spoke English perfectly.
'You are the young woman from Chi
cago, supposeP'
mo, answered Miss Baxter. forget
ting for the moment the role she was
playing; 81 am from London. I"
"Well, it doesn t matter; you are the
young woman who is arranging my
wife's correspondence"
ttYes.
The prince strobe rapidly forward and
grasped her by the wrist. his brow dark
with forbidding frown. He spoke in a
hoarse whisper;
Listen, my good grill Do you want
to get more money from me than you
will get from the princess in ten years
service? Hearken, then, to what I tell
you. II. there are any letters from
from-men. win you bring them to
meS"
Miss Baxter was thoroughly frighten.
ed, but she said to the prince sharply:
eff you do not let go of my wrist. I'll
scream. How dare you lay your hand
on me2''
The prince released her wrist and step
ped back.
"Forgive me, !" he said. "I'm very
miserable man. Forget what have
said"
stHow can forget it9" cried the
girl, gathering courage as she saw him
quail before her blazing eyes "What
do you want me to do?"
II want you to bring to me any let
ters written by-by'-
written by Won Schaumbergi" cried
the girl, noticing his hesitation and
filling in the blank.
A red wave of anger surged up in the
princes face
"Yesi'' he cried. 'Bring me letter
to her from Won Schaumberg. and I'll
pay you what you ask. -
1T is contrary to my duty to the
princess, y she began hesitatingly,
when he stopped and turned fiercely
upon her.
"What is contrary to your duty7''
"There are letters, tied very daintily
with a blue ribbon, and they are from a
man. The princess did not allow me to
read them, but locked them away in a
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16
Don,t Neglect Yor.r Livsr

Liver troubles quickly result in serious
complications, and. the man who neglects his
liver has little regard for health. A bottle
Of Browns Iron Bitters taken now and then
will keep the liver in perfect order. If the
disease has developed, Browns Iron Bitters
VIII cure it permanently. Strength and
vitality will always follow its use.
Browns' Iron Bitters Is sold by all dealers.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16
Couldn,t Help saying 1t.

'Dearest. asked the confiding girl,
after her usual manner, ''am really
your first and only lover"
''No, darling" said the young drug.
gist, "but you are something just as
good. indianapolis Journal.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16
oRPHANs' COURT.

The Stated Meetings of the Orphans
Court Of Cecil county will be held on th
second Tuesday ofevery month. Executors
Administrators and Guardians, wanting
their accounts stated, will please bring ir
their vouchers few days before Court.
Test: R. E. JAMAR, Register
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16
Drumminr xa. MunIn.

Mrs. Pounds think I'll brush up
my piano playing this afternoon. Tn
! trife out of practice.
Mr.. Pounds-Oh, wouldn't, dear.
why? You told me Mr.. Hyart was
going to call this evening, and he's mu-
sical."
"Yes, that's why" = Philadelphia
Press.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16
ChInene snldiera

1t is not an uncommon sight to see
Chinese soldier carrying a fan and
having an umbrella strapped across
his back.-N. Y. Times.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16
NOTICE

BE THE oRPHANs. CouRT FOR oEon couNrY.,
January l3, 1900.
ORDERED, That all Administrators, Ex
ecutors and Guardians that have not state
an account within a year. come forward an.
do the same. or show cause to the contrary
or they will be cited up.
Test: r. E. LAMAR, Register
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-11-16
BY ROBERT BARR.

SsSe SSe ASs SSe Ss
The Winslow mail., 1900-11-08
CROKER ON TRUSTS.
No show Any More for Young Men Un-
der the New Regime, Says the
Tammany Chief.

Speaking at meeting of the Tam
many leaders recently. among other
things, Mr.. Croker said:
Il should like to make few remarks
on a matter which l consider to be the
most important of the hour. and that
is the necessity that you should inn
press on the young men of your dis
tricts the Importance to them of join
ing the young mems clubs which are
being formed throughout the United
States. If | were to use now a common,
everyday expression to convey my idea
of the condition of the young man seek
ing a future, l should say: He is up
against it. He may get start or what
looks like one, but l don't care what he
is, clerk, messenger, bookkeeper any
thing you please, there is no ladder on
which he can climb. Hundreds of let
ters come to me from young men every
day telling me just these things. and
hundreds of letters come, too. from
young men telling me they can't get
employment. You ought to get young
men to be politicians, to study their
conditions and to learn how to make
them better There is no hope for them
to-day. There is no chance for them
to advance. Invite them to join your
district clubs. Invite them to make
speeches, whether they are orators or
not. Get them to give their ideas of
the issues of the day, no matter how
roughly they give them. If they don't
want to join Tammany clubs. let them
join other clubs-only get them think
ing. Get them to examine their own
condition, and when they find that they
have no chance to get along they will
know what to do.
"Thinll of your own sons. you lead
ers. | know many of you have them.
If they are placed in a trust they are
slaves to that trust. Where are all the
little business places that used to be a
feature of New York. and of all this
country, too, not many years ago?
Where are all the little grocery stores
and the other shops where whole fami-
lies had an interest in the business and
every member of the family as soon as
he or she was able was employed? They
have all been destroyed, and destroyed
by the trusts.
MATTERS like these ought to be
brought before young men, for with
their help there can be no question
about the result. If had nothing to do
with this organization, whether [ was
republican or a democrat. [ would
get up and talk just as do now If the
issues of this campaign were thorough
ly understood Bryan would get 80 per
cent. of the votes in the United States,
because ten per cent. are now running
the 80 per cent. and getting their hearts
blood. Impress these questions on your
Young men,
The Winslow mail., 1900-11-08
The Same Deception.

The republican party Isl trying to-day
the same deception that it practiced in
1896 on the money question, said W. j.
Bryan. the other day in a speech. The
republican leaders wanted the gold
standard in 1896. just as they want it
now. but they held out before the peo-
pie the Gelusion of international BIZ
metallism. The president sent com
mission of three distinguished gentle
men. and they were to labor with the
European nations andtry to get those
nations to help us. Did they sue
ceed? Of course they did not We told
you in 1896 that they would not sue
ceed. If man sets his heart on
thing and does not get it he feels sor-
rowful. You cannot find republican
to-day who feels sorrowful because
they did not get the international BIZ
metallism that they promised to get
in 1896. Now, the republican party to-
day Goes not talk in favor of silver at
all. There is no talk about interna-
tional bimetallism. If international bi-
metallism was good in 1896 it is good
now. Then why is it that the repub-
licanE do not talk about it?
The Winslow mail., 1900-11-08
Another De Luxe Edition of GA Mes
Sara tn GarCia.O

1he Passenger Department OF the New
York Central seems never to tire of sending
out copies of "A Message to Garcia The
latest issue is the first five thousand of the
third half-milllon edition, and is numbered
eoEsecutlvely from 100000 to l,004, ,999. 1t
Is beautifully printed on heavy plate paper,
the illustrations being brought out in man
ner equal, II not superior, to the best maga-
zines. The pages have a red line around
them, and the book Is bound in a grey-blue
cloth and heavy boards. 1t is intended for
IlDrarles, and was issued at the request of
a large number of American Libraries who
wanted the Message" IN a permanent bind
ing. This edition contains, in addition to
MIR. Hubbard's admirable preachment, a
short sketch, with portrait of Lieutenant
Colonel Andrew S. Rowan, the man who
carried "A Message to Garcia" a short
sketch, with portrait, of General Calixto
Garcia, the man to whom the Message"
was carried, and a short sketch, with por-
trait, of Mr.. Elbert Hubbard, the man who
wrote "a Message to Garcia"
1t also contains eight pages of extracts
from the press, and comments from we'll
known educators, clergymen, professional
men, and many large employers of men, on
the Message itself; a sketch of the Cuban
Educational Association, and a sketch on
ers.
A limited number of copies of "a Message
to Garcia" bound in cloth and boards may
be obtained at 80 cents each. A copy of the
edition with Illuminated paper cover, fully
illustrated, will be sent free, post paid, to
any address in the world, on receipt of a
postage stamp issued by any country on the
globe, or it will be sent in packages of 100
each, on receipt of so cents for each 100
by George H. Daniels, General Passenger
Agent, New York Central & Hudson River
Railroad, Grand Central Station, New Y York.
The Winslow mail., 1900-11-08

sive drunk that his limited credit
would secure, and he forthwith carried
out the resolution to the letter. He
solemnly pledged himself never to do
another lick of honest work as long as
he lived.
He organized a sophomore under
ground fraternity, the alleged pur-
pose of which was the subjugation OF
unruly freshmen, but the real pur-
pose was the encouragement OF every
thing that was bad and the demorali-
zation of everything that made for
law and order. The flagstaff became
barber pole one night, under their
treatment. and the chapel windows
were made to bear the inscriptions,
Hair cut, Is cents" and "a shave for
nothing" The president historic
phaeton miraculously ascended to the
roof of Dickinson hall, and even had
the temerity to attempt the scaling
of the huge dome when it was discov-
cred by the proctor, who was out for
his early morning rounds. To his
amazed eyes, it looked for all the
world like some huge spidet' suspend
ed by its slender thread midway twiXt
heaven and earth.
As class, they daily established a
new record for unrighteousness, and
whatever was bad enough for them to
do at all they did with a will.
One November night they broke into
the rooms of two freshmen, whom
they compelled to stand at the open
window in the frosty air, night-robed
as they were, and sing love ditties to
the maid in the moon; but McSwatt
never forget to his dying day their
looks of fright, or how plaintively
their voices sounded in the still night
air, and when one of the marauders,
in drunken glee, proposed to drench
them under the pump, somehow he
could not find it in his heart to enter
into the spirit of the thing, and when
he saw one of the innocents, tall,
frail lad, terroriZed by the ordeal, Sob
bing to himself, he stopped the orgie.
1t was the next day but one that the
college bulletin reported the nights
exploits, and deprecating the lawless-
ness and the heartlessness that made
such misdemeanors possible, stated
that Edwin Cassells, one of the vic
Tins, was suffering with pneumonia
contracted by the exposure and seri-
Gus fears were entertained. McSwatt
slept very little during the nights that
followed, and was seen several times
wandering about at a very late hour.
quite alone, and he occasionally stood
for a few moments at time under
the window where the dim light kept
vigil over the feyered patient.
The fact is McSwatt thought, fO1
the first time in his life. seriously. He
thought of the tall, frail lad who had
come to the great university, not as
scapegrace, seeking to do himself