Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-01-20
AREN'T MEN UNGRATEFUl

MI JobSon brought old Schoolmate of
his, whom he hadn't seen or heard of for
years. up to his house for lunch
Monday. it is not necessary to remind
our gentle readers, is wash day in all we'll
regulated households
Mr. Jobson hadn't been home for lunch
except on Sundays and holidays, for years.
| OF course, it just happened that out of the
seven days in the week Mr.. Jobson could
nave lighted on none other so suitable for
bringing an old boyhood chum up to his
nome Tor luncheon as Monday-wash
Gay. Men don't know anything about the
orearlneSs of wash day, anyhow. They
see the ironed linen stacked I'D on the bed
on thursday evening. say, and they vaguely
Monoer now 1t was done and where it came
from ana who did 1t, and so on. If rainy
weather or some other interposition of
PROVIDENCE prevents its being stacked up
on the bed on Thursday evening. and the
boss of the house happens to be out of
handkerchiefs, he gazes witheringly at the
wife OF his bosom. accuses her of spending
all her time at the bargain counters to the
total neglect of her household duties, and
in general gives vent to a torrid flow of
masculine unreason. That's the extent of
the male knowledge of linen cleansing
MIR. Jobson happened to have forgot his
iatch Key when he went to the office
Monday morning, and so when he brought
along MS old school pal to his house he
rang the door bell The servant being busy
JopSon, thinking that the bell ringer was
probably rug peddler book agent or
some such parsonage, answered the ring
herself. Mrs. Jobson had been assisting
the servant with the linen She was in an
oGt-at-elbows red eiderdown wrapper, with
'he sleeves rolled way up. and her hair
was done up tightly in kids. Her nose
was shiny from the steam of wash day
W hen she saw Mr.. JobSon and his swell
looking companion, she simply bolted I'D
the front stairs for it, Mr.. Jobson exuding
| r,a.,,
she went.
"Ah. caught You in house neglige did We
my dear? he called up the stairs after her
in rollicking, oh-how naughty naughty
tone voice, that yet you had a certain met
allie ring in Mrs. Jobson's ears.
II be down in just a minute" called
Mrs Johson over the banisters, and then
Mr. Jobson and his old school chum went
into the parlor Mrs. Jobson hastily dug
out the powder chameis and touched up
her face, put on preSentable garments. re-
moved the kids from her hair and set it
right, and then she made her appearance in
the parlor
My dear, you've often heard me speak
OF Tommy Swiftboy, my old schoolmate,
haven't you?' said Mr.. Jobson, formally
presenting his friend to his wife. "Remem-
Der my telling you how We played hooky
once for three weeks at a stretch and hid
our books under a sidewalk every day?
Well, here's the self-same hooky player
blew in on me at my office this morning,
and, although | wouldn't say it to his face,
I'm just uckled to death to him.
brought him up to see what a nice little
plant I've got-his dad used to say that
wed both of Us land in states prison be-
fore We came of age. And here l am,
settled-down old fogy, and he's got a wife
and three chidren-got their pictures in his
watch-at his home in New York. | want
ed to drag him off to a restaurant for a
bite to eat. but he wouldn't hear of it
wanted to look me under my own vine
and fig tree. he said. and he hates reStau-
rant or hotel cookery. Can't We have just
a little bite Of luncheon. my dear"
Mr.. JnbSOn saZed at Mrs. JobSOn amiably.
but with a meeting of the eyebrows that
said, plain as day, And it wants to be
an almighty neat luncheon, al that
Mrs. Jobson'S heart sank as she thought
of the remains of Sundays turkey in the
refrigerator, and nothing else. The steamy
fragrance Of the wash-day suds that per-
meated the house caught Mr.. Jobsons nos
trils and he shifted wonderingly and with
no manifestations of enthusiasm over it.
Nothing elaborate. my dear. you know
said Mr., Jobson. with a searching look at
Mrs. Jobson. Just what you've got in
the ice chest. you know. Mr.. Swiftboy is
a domestic man, and he understands that
We may have taken you unprepared."
Mr.. JobsOn's glances at Mrs. Jobson said
as plainly if the words We're written on
a placard hanging around his neck. You
just want to see to it that there's top
notch lunch on the table in just fifteen
minutes. there'u be some echoes around
here later on
Mrs. Jobson, after a moments desultory
conversations, excused himself ran down
the basement steps, placed a hat on the
coored woman's head and sent her out by
the alley gate after luncheon food. II WAS
mostly of the delicateSsen and canned va
rIcly There was some sliced tongue and
ham. potted ham. canned salmon hurricdly
constructed potato salad. the remains OF
Sundays turkey. raspberry jam and coffee
and tea on the table when. after frenzied
scurrying around. Mrs. Jobson got the table
set with fresh napery and the best silver
anu called the men to luncheon. Mr.. Job
son surveyed the table approvingly, as did
his old school chum. who was a we'll
groomcd looking man. who looked if he
might be stranger to Holsters and grilled
bones.
Well, my dear you've certainly done
very well. considering how little you eX-
rected us" said Mr. Jobson. beamnSly,
and then they went at the lunch.
oh by the way. have you any bottled
beer on ice?" asked Mr.. JobSon after
oment.
NO" replied Mrs. Jcbson. "the last was
used on Saturday. and the beer man hasn't
been around yet but can send
oh. never mind. my dear-never mind at
all" said Mr.. Jobson. amiably. Get along
bully without it. can't We, Swiftboy? Guess
we'd be heap better off without the stuff
anyhow
Then Mr. Jobson. while his friend was
bending over his plate. gave Mrs. Jobson
a glance that contained world of mean
sSwiftboy," said Mr. Jobson you'll have
to overlook this hasty affair, but you
know
Overlook it, interrupted his friend,
helping himself literally to the salad.
overlook it? | guess not. I'm going to 10
just the best l know how by it. It's i'm
mense--haven't enjoyed things to eat
much since | left home Mrs. Jobson, L
congratulate you upon your skill in form
ulating a luncheon in a case of emergency
Thus the luncheon passed off, and awhile
after it the two men went down
town. There was a steely glitter in Mr..
Jobson's eye when he returned home that
evening.
Madame he inquired of Mrs. Jobson as
soon he had taken off his hat what do
you think this establishment is-a New
York soubrette's flat?"
why, what you Mrs. Jobson
started to answer.
When 1 invite friend. a substantial
business man. up to my home for lunch
con- continued Mr. Jobson sternly. cant
you do any better than to regale him and
load him up with stuff such as a Miss Tot
tie Coughdrop sets before her chorus girl
friends when she asks them to a IN
feed?'
But you brought him so unexpectedly
and
What kind o stuff do you think grocery
store sliced ham is to set before one of your