West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1900-06-21

Il
Johnson, of Georgia, who had been
announced on the bills as "rhe
Watermillyon Orator OF the South
His personal appearance made him
friends at once He appeared to
be man about 80, solid as a young
saw-log, and his high collar and
flannel red necktie were greeted
with cheers of appreciation. His
voice ran up and down the scale
from a high squeak to a fog horn
growl, and he worked his arms and
legs as if they belonged to a corn
Smelling machine.
"Black men of America" began
the orator as he bowed right and
left with his hand on his heart, al
am here tonight to remark a few
remarks to yo' on de present crisis.
OF co'se yo' all know what a crisis
am. It's jest de same as when yo'
go out to de stable on dark night
an feel around fur de ole mewl.
Yo's gwine to find him, an he's
gwine to kick. (Shouts and
laughter De only way yo' kin
avoid dat crisis am to be some
whar else when his heels fly out.
We must counsel together to see
what de black man shall do in de
crisis dat has fallen upon dis land
like patch of midnight. Signs, J We
am feelin' fer de mewl, an de mewl
am gwine to kick, an are we gwine
to dodge or be hit ?" ("Dodge,
dodge p')
al has got better plan than
either, my fr'en's, an | am yere to
tell yo' of it. My plan am to kick
dat mewl befo' he kin kick me.
| (Whoops and shouts.) In other
words, yere am three or TO presi-
denshual candydates waitin to glib
us der heels, All of 'em has got
policy, but no policy says anything
bout us. (Groans. We don't
count. If dey kin hit off de white
man, de black man kin eat sassa-
fras or go hungry. (Yells.) What's
de matter wild our taken de kick out
of dose nevis by nominatin our
own candydate fur president
Spontaneous and tremendous APP
plause.) OATS de crisis de white
man amt lookin fur, aud it's a
crisis dat will shake down de pos
sums an persimmons till cherry
pickaninny in de land will shout fur
gladness. (Terrihc outburst, with
band playing "Whar's Dat Coon ?"
and the stovepipe wobbling.) Yo'
know what precipitate am, of co'se /?
Precipitate means to jump in an hit
de odder teller on de nose befo' he
knows you've got mad. OATS what
we want to do in dis case. We
wants to precipitate de crisis. (Yells
of satisfaction and encouragement. J
"Mind yo', my fr'en's, we amt
gwine to come out on top in dis
fight. We's simply gwine to scare
de white man an set him TO hggerin
out what our sheer amounts to. If
we yell loud huff an fight hard
huff, we's gwine to git a slice of dat
watermillyon. wild cheers. )
De candydate whom we name has
got to be smart man. He's got to
be an honest man. He's got to be
a man wild as much as sebenteen
dollars in his pocket, an he's got to
pour out dat money like water.
(Cheers for pour He can't sleep
night or day He's got to hab all
de cullud churches at his back an
all de cake walks an camp meetin's
on his right hand. He's got to be re-
spected fur his integrity on de one
hand an be beloved on de odder
fur hevin invented a way TO capture
a razorback hawg (Deafening and
long continued applause.) He's
got to use up his health, break
down his constitushun an fll an
airly grave. Yes, he must sacrifice
his life to precipitale dis crisis an
| jump 20 ober de fence whar 20 kin
/ git a far show.
Heroes Of darkness, do yo'
know SIGH a man. CShouts for
Brother Gardner Am dar a pus-
son in de United States who am
willing TO undergo dis sacrifice fur
/ 20 ("Brother Gardner 90 Ian
swer dat dar am SIGH pusson.
/ lYelis) lie will feel 10 privilege
an duty 20 bust hissclf all 10
| pieces dat 20 may prcclpitate.
/ C"Brother Gardner ") Dat russon
amt for off, Life am sweet to him.
but he am gwine 20 lay it down fur
I yo'. Behold him D"Brothcr
/ Gardner ~ lie stands befo' so
Ills hame are Burdock Johnson, an
yere an now, in re presence Of dis
I rouitifnde Of,