davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Craftiness of Man.

'Thea," and her eyes sought the
embers of the oak block, "you are
kind as a husband should be.
n-never give me any Jewels"
"Jewels!" and his basso voice seel
to come from his heart. "You ask
jewels? Any one with diamond e
ruby lips and teeth of pearl ask
jewels? Why, the rarest gold &C
buy would only be superduous"
Then for the first time in days
kissed him.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Fixing the R1ana

Wiggles docking over manuscript,
Great heavens, Waggles, why didn't
you learn to spell?
Waggles-Learn to spell? What's the
matter with my spellingT l know how
to spell all right The dictionary fel-
lows ought to de some learning.-Som-
eryille Journal
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20

Wife (after the hOneymoon)-Why
did you deceive me about your income?
Husband-I didn't, my dear.
Wife-Yes, you did. You told me you
were getting $50 a week when you
asked me to marry you.
Husband-You evidently misunder-
stood me. said my position was worth
$5O-and so it ls-but for some reason
best known to the boss he gives me
only $40.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Where Lambs Gambol

"Have you ever seen Romeo
JulietY" inquired the Throop str
girl.
NO" responded the red-vested yOt
"but have seen Romeo to my sorrol
And his empty pockets showed I
Romeo had seen him.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
In Memory OF.

"What do you call your cyN,ar
home, Mrs. Fitz Jackson? ~
Peach Orchards"
"I don't see any orchard in this D
tograph."
mo; there was one peach behind
cottage, but it dled."-Indlanap,
Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
His Feeling.

Inquiring Tourist-Tell me, what
were your sensations while you were
crouching in your cyclone cellar with
the terrible tornado raging just above
you?
Kansas Farmer-Wa-al, 1 reckon it's
safe to say l felt sorter under the
weather.-Puek.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Practical View.

She-Summer is my favorite sea
It's SO delightful to sit under the t
and listen to the concert by natu
feathered songsters.
He enthusiastically = Isn't
though? And it doesn't cost q c
either.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Likely to he an AcquisltIon.

"Who are these new people that
moving into the house next doorY
II don't know, but am sure we 81
get along splendidly with them. T
have just unloaded wheelbarrow
q lawn mower. Chicago Tribune.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20

From microscopic obserFatI<ns it has
been computed that the skin is per-
forated with a thousand holes in a
square inch. II the whole surface of
the human body be estimated at six
teen square feet. 1T must contain no
fewer than 2,SQ4, ,0G0 pores
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Culinary Diplomacy.


Mistress-Why did you leave your
last place?
Bridget-Yer very inquisitive, num-
l niver axed ye why yer last cook left
The Cigarette.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
THE POLITICAL WORLD.
Two state Conventions In Portland the
Same Day.

Portland, April lS.-The Oregon
sttae Republican convention met in
Portland and nominated the following
ticket:
For Supreme Judge-Charles E.
Wolverton, Of Linn.
For Food and Dairy Commissioner
j. W. Bailey Of Multnomah.
Presidential Electors-Tilmon Ford,
of Marion; ]. G. Fullerton, OF Douglas;
o. f. Paxton, Of Multnomah; w. j.
Furnish, of Umatilla.
Delegates TO the National Convention
at Philadelphia-Henry E. Ankeny, OF
Jackson; John d. DAILY, OF Benton;
Wallace McCamant, of Multnomah;
II. l.. Kuck, of Wasco.
Alternates-Lewis Simpson, of Coos;
Wallis Nash, of Lincoln; John w.
Knowles, of Union; II. l.. Holgate, Of
Benton,
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
No Grounds for Argument

NO UEUuHuS IOT aTRuHtHt'
"What Is life?" asked the proft
of the class in moral ethics.
"The absence of DEATH" replit
youthful philosopher.
And the professor let it go at that
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Not by a Long Shot.

1--WE may be farmers" said the Boer
general, as he ordered two more bat
teries to begin operations, but that's
not admitting we don't know anything
about the shell game" Puck.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20

Brownies, Jones married rich
wife, but he leads dogs life.
Smith-Is that so? /.
Brownies; he doesn't do blessed
thing but lay around the house and go
out for an airing between meals.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Successful.

Waggs-Where were you last night?
Jaggs-Out pursuing happiness.
Waggs-And did you catch it?
Jaggs-You bet caught it-when I
got home.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20

GOIHg 10 LHt PaTIS tApUSIIIUH I
summer, HorrocksW
"Yes."
"Good. So am 1. l hope l shall
you often"
II hope you will, Varnum.
1--WE ought to begin saving money
1t, oughtn't WEI"
"Yes. That is, you ought. l am
ing to run an American boarC
house. ."-Philadelphia Times.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
SowI.ots of It There.

The Amerlcan-You have no Idea OF
the immense wealth of this country un-
til you've Travelled over 1t.
The Foreigner-Oh, yes, l have. I've
lived In EurOpe.-Life.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
corroborative Evidence

Palmist-Your hand shows me that
you have had fight this morning.
Visitor-You could tell it quicker by
the other fellows eye.-Baltimore
American.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Not Her Fault.

"Is this the cracked wheat, Jane"
II dun know, mum; amt looked at
1t or teched 1t, an if it's cracked, 1t wuz
cracked afore l come here."-Chicago
Record.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Objectionable,

"Billy, I'll take in de Paris exposit
show only on one condition"
whats dat, SandyT
"Dat dey cut out de Palace of Ind
try"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
A Rude Bird.

"When Delia's young man calls she
has to put her parrot out of the ROOM"
"What for"
"Oh, her father taught 1t to screech'
Time to CO. whenever the clock
strikes"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Built of Red R-,.L.

philadelphia, Baltimore and
ington are red brick cities ro,
being the predominating baadi
terial. In Washington the ss,
is relieved by the granite pubIic
ings and marble business str,sol,
Chicago Inter, Ocean.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
A Modest Renuesf.

Hewitt-My money is my best friend.
Jewett-Well, the best Of friends must
part; lend me five, will you?-Harper's
Bazaar.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Wnnden Member.

"That's an awfully heavy cane"
"Yes. call it my Don't Worry club"
"Why that?"
Because if I hit anybody on the
head with it he doesn't worry any
more."-Chicago Tribune.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20

The average man has more ~
back of him than he can see ahes1
him.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
On Listening Terms.

"Are you on speaking terms with
ChatterboxT
%No, merely on listening terms"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.

Pleasant incidents Occurring tns
World Over Sayings thatAre Cheer
full to Old or Young-Funny selec'
tious that Everybody Will Enjoy.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20

McJigger-So he's married again.
Married a widow.
Thingumbob-Yes, with six children,
ranging from 2 to IA years. When they
line up they're regular steps.
McJigger-Naturally; they're his step
children.-Philadelphia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Naturally.

did you give me that parlor lamp
last Christmas, or did I give it to your
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Facts In the Case.

Smiles-I'm glad l wasn't Sh;
peare.
Giles-Why are you?
Smiles-Because ! should be
now.
Giles-Yes, that's true-and Shi
peare would be forgotten.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20
Retrospective.

AoAl
= "What is it, Dorothy"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20

Ir me
'ou've
side.
u de-
Ireful,
tres
and
lady.
1 pole
Here
made
ge for
e. but
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-04-20

Harry
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-11-01
Six FrIghtful Fla ilute

Six terrible failures OF six different
doctors nearly sent VIM. H. Mullen o.
Lockland, o., to an early grave. AL
said he had fatal lung trouble and
that he must soon die. But he was
urged to try DR.. Kings New Discov'
cry for Consumption. After taking
five bottles he was entirely cured. Ii
is positively guaranteed to cure all dis
eases of Throat, Chest and Lungs, in
GLIDING Coughs, Colds, La Grippe
Pneumonia, Bronchitis, Asthma, Hay
Fever, Group, Whooping Cough. SOC
and Sl.00. Trial bottles free at Cornell
Bros.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-11-01

NOTE: Only the earnings, actual
cash paid in are figured in determining
the value of stock. Present rate OF
earnings, 13 per cent. per annum.
Cash paid out on matured stock,
aside from Withdrawals, since July /,
1899 to October | 1900.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-11-01

The kindly face of the martyr Lin
coin, who first led the Republican
party to victory; the stars and stripes
you love SO well; your patriotism and
your personal interest, all will demand
of you a vote for every Republican can
didate. In this way you will register
your approval of the splendid admins
tration of President Mckinley and
your desire for a continuance of the
prosperity which we now enjoy.
1t is an easy and a pleasant thing
TO do.
Just stamp or mark a (x) in the cir
Gle under the Republican vignette.
That means a vote for every Republi-
can candidate. And thus you will
have done your duty.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-11-01

No. OF shares in force Oct. l, 1900 9S2
The following are the names and
residences OF those holding stock In the
9th series, matured Oct. /, 1900:
Shares pd In profits Total
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-11-01
REHABILITATION.


No. OF shares in force July !, 1899. S35
/" I" issued since July !, 1899 634
1869
No. OF shares withdrawn
and paid 100
No. of shares matured
and paid 378
400
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-11-01

Many Of your friends, or people
whom you know Of, have contracted
consumption, pneumonia or other fatal
diseases, by neglect OF simple cold or
cough. Foley's Honey and Tar. a safe,
sure and pleasant cough medicine
would have saved them. 1t is guaran-
teed. w. /. Benedict.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-11-01
Case OF Salt Rheum and scaId Head Both
Cured.
WINDSOR, ONT, Jan. 10, 1900.

WINDSOR, ONT, Jan. 10, 1900.
1913 Windsor Ave.
DR.. G. ID. Warner:-I have used your
Compound of Seven Cures for bad
case OF salt rheum. used eight bottles.
The disease has entirely disappeared.
| also used it for my little girl, aged
ten years, for scald head and six bot
ties OF Seven Cures cured her; her hair
is growing beautifully again.
Yours very truly.
T. BROWN.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-11-01

j. Odgers OF Frostburg, Md, writes:
81 had very bad attack OF kidney
complaint and tried Foley's Kidney
Cure which gave me immediate relief,
and was perfectly cured after taking
two bottles. Take no substitute.
w. l. Benedict.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-11-01
QUARTER ANNUAL

Statement OF the BeIdIng BulldIng and
Loan Association.
Secretary Wagner of the Bedding
Building and Loan association has
submitted his quarterly report OF the
condition of the associations affairs,
which is as follows:
QUARTER-ANNUAL STATEMENT.
October lst. 1907
Series No. /, 2, 3, and matured
and maid
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-11-01

HATS and CRPS line h@ Re BG S Cox NSw 19 G Sqt
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-11-01
SERIES NO. 4.

T. B. Draper, Canton, Mass. 10 ]
Lizzie S. Bedding, N. Y. City 10 l
Mrs. II. Slanker, Bedding. :.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1900-11-01

Prosperity, patriotism and victory
are In the air.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1900-08-07
A vORAcIoUs cAPRA.
Goat Dined ON the Horses Tall - An
AmuNInx Tn~frant

Goat Dined ON the Horses Tail An
Amusing Incident
Henry Travers and Otto Koop, who
lives a few doors away, have long been
the closest Of friends. But now they
never speak as they pass by, and tits
all owing to Travers' goat and Hoops
long-tailed bay mare. The bay mare
had tail that reached the ground and
the goat an appetite that was indis-
eliminating and only limited by his
ambulatory and reaching powers. But
the horses tail instead of sweeping the
floor as OF yore, is now but jagged
bunch of hair, fully a foot and a half
away from the ground The facts In
the case are somewhat hay, but Mr.
Koop says: My heart is almost brok-
en-. Why, the tail of that horse was
the best part of it. | wouldn't have
taken $500 for that mare, but now look
at it! That COMPOUNDED goat of Tray
ers' had to come in here and chew off
its tail and disfigure the finest looking
horse in Toledo. Why in heavens
name didn't Travers feed his old billy
goat, SO that he would stay at home
instead of trespassing around chewing
up horses tails. It's a blamed shame,
and I'm going down town to see law
yer friend of mine and see if I can't
get damages. No, the mare amt much
of runner or trotter, but you just
ought to have seen that tail. I'll kick
lung out Of that goat if I get a
chance" kick lung out Of my
goat, will he?" Indignantly snorted
Mr.. Travers when told what Koop had
said. Just let him try it. Damagesy
Fiddlestieksl How is he to sue me?
didn't eat the tail Why doesn't he
keep his stable door shut if he is so
particular ?"-Toledo News
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1900-08-07
ALICIA'S EXPERIMENT.

Alicia Wellington was rs years old,
and she had never received an offer of
marriage nor had a lover. Her two
younger sisters were both happily
married-Gertrude to a young man
who had adored her from childhood,
and Lottie to an elderly wldower who
had fallen in love with her at her
coming-out party. Gertrude had re-
fused three offers before marrying
John Nelson; Lottie. who was born
a coquette, had received homage from
almost every man she knew from the
time she could talk.
Alicia was serious and rather
naughty. Her friends called her I'm
tellectual," and this same intellect
uality made her unpopular with men.
who were generally her interiors in
her chosen style of conversation if not
In depth of thought. Until now Alicia
had affected to despise the other sex
Lottie's fiirtations and Gertrude's con-
quests had seemed frivolous to her.
Eut she wished to be a well-rounded
woman, and it suddenly occurred to
HVA that HAe Knew nOLnlnS OF love, al
though 1t was one Of the chief things
of life. The fact that she was differ
ent from other girls and their in
ferior in one respect was brought
home to her by a meditation on love
and matrimony which followed the
receipt of letter announcing to en-
gagement of the only unmarried one
Of her classmates. To be sure. Alicia
was younger than the other girls, but
she had come out the same year.
1T IS all very well not to marry"
she said to herself in conclusion, but
it is odd not to attract a single sutton.
There must be something lacking in
me. l have always known that didn't
like men, but it is strange that men
don't like me. can accomplish al
most anything if l make up my mind
to it. l will have lover. | need not
marry him, of course, but will have
him desperately in love with me, so
that I shall have an impassioned offer;
then | will refuse him"
Alicia cast about her list Of male ac-
quaintanees with a view to selecting
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1900-08-07
Not superntit,ous.

Even ancient superstitions are not
respected by the modern woman of
fashion She has herself photographed
in her wedding dress before she Is mar
ried, has her trousseau marked with
her new initials instead of her maiden
name, and otherwise flies in the face
of traditions which, to her grandmoth-
er. were sacred because of their very
antiquity, says the Pittsburg Dispatch.
At the present moment the most ia
vored gem for mounting as q charm
is the opal, the stone banned for years
as an omen Of bad fortune to the wear
er. Now you find opals in the rough,
as well as polished. being mounted in
almost every style for wear on neck
chains or on bangles. There is only
one other stone which can rival them
in popularity, and that is the T7le
green Jade.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1900-08-07

suitable man for her experiment
Finally she chose Reggy De Greve.
Reggy was a year younger than Alicia.
He was as frivolous as any girl, and
decidedly effeminate in his looks and
ways. He had been one of Lottie's
numerous admirers, in an impressive
way, but he had never gotten up cour-
age to propose to her. He had not
been sure that he wanted to do so.
Now he came to the house rather be-
cause he was used to coming to see
"the ladies" once in so often AIicia's
mother was fond of him, for she had
known him since he was in dresses.
and she regarded him as boy. OF
Alicia he stood somewhat in awe
"Reggy will be good one to begin
with" thought the young woman.
"He will be easy to influence. After
have refused him I can try some one
more difficult"
Thus Miss Wellington began her
career as a firt. That evening Reggy
came to the house. He found Alicia
wonderfully interesting. She talked
about cotillon figures, pretty girls,
Judges and golf. Reginald was in de-
mand as a cotillon leader, he was a
chevalier des danes, an expert chatting
dish cook. and an inspiring golf player
'Gwacious. l never thought she
knew so much" he said to himself, as
he left the house But this was only
because Alicia had displayed knowl-
edge OF the subjects with which Reggy
was conversant, for he had always
known that she was intellectual"
1t was scarcely a week before Reggy
again presented himself at the We'll
lingtons He asked for Miss Yelling
ton, instead of for the ladies'" He
was unconscious of the neglect of Mrs.
Wellington, but wary Alicia smiled
when she, alone, was summoned to the
drawing-room.
20, MIR. De Greve," she said-hereto-
fore she had called him Reggy-'I
know you can help me solve something
that has been worrying my poor
brain"
She took seat beside the young
man and submitted her something"
that had been worrying her. 1t was
only charade, an intricate one, how
ever, to which Alicia knew the answer.
Reggy did not suspect that he was
good at puzzles. He solved this one
easily, and explained the elaborate
process to Miss Wellington.
Thank you, Mr. De Greve, you are
so clever" said Alicia, exactly as she
had heard Lottie say the same words |
to different men at least a hundred |
times.
That evening as Reggy went away
his predominant thought was, "She |
thinks me clever"
In the course OF time Alicia con-
WINGED Reggy that she was uncommon
ly pretty, agreeable. not too wise, and
altogether charming-just the woman
to preside over his house and help him
spend his rather large patrimony. She
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1900-08-07

Salt Lake City still presents one of
the most absorbingly interesting
fields for the soeiologist to be found
on this continent. The conditions
most vital to a peoples life are there
far beneath the surface and cannot
be eomprehended in a day, nor by
s@journer who looks exclusively
through either Mormon or Gentle
eyes. Two generations have been
born into the Mormon religion, and
the traditions of the church are az
binding to them as those of century,
old creeds to their followers. The man
who you are told has broken away
from the faith you find upon acquaint-
ance to be half a Mormon still. The
good Mormon" who is pointed out to
you will be found to be, in nine cases
out of ten. half Gentile.-New Lippin-
colt.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1900-08-07
No Twin srierohs. for Him.

A clergyman walking on the out
skirts Of his parish on day found one
of his parishioners whitewashing his
cottage. Pleased at this novel mani
festation of the virtue that is next
to goodness he complimented the man
on his desire for neatness. With a
mysterious air the workman descend
ed from the ladder and approaching
the fence said: That's not exactly
the reason why I'm dom Of this ere
job. your worship. The last two cou-
pies as lived here had twins, 30 / SEES
to my missus, IN take and white
wash the place SOS there mayn't be
no Infection You see, sir, as how
we've got 10 of 'em already. "-Phonc-
graphic Record.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1900-08-07

also convinced him that he was clever.
witty and manly. Indeed, under the
sun OF her approval be grew wonder
fully until he was quite different
Reggy.
At last the schemed-foB proposal
took place. Satisfied with himself, and
much more than satisfied with the ae-
complished Alicia, Reggy asked her
to be his wife. Alicia foresaw the
coming offer, of course She made
ready to refuse it. She even chose her
next victim, William Giles, a lawyer OF
skill and renown. He would be diff
cult to enthrall, but a foeman worthy
of her steel
But she did not think of William
when Reggy proposed. She watched
the boy" as she called him in her
heart, with curious pride How well
he does it," she thought. Love has
made a man OF him. He is desperately
in earnest; he is eharming-he is
adorable"
Why, Reggy," she said aloud, to
her own establishment, Il believe / do
love you. Yes, I will marry you, after
all-yes, yes I will
The happy Reggy did not notice the
peculiar wording OF Alicia's acceptance
OF his heart and fortune. He had won
her, and his joy seemed complete. No
one but his wife ever knew that he
had been the subject of an experiment.
Chicago Tribune
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1900-08-07
IN SOUTH AFRICA.
The Discover of Sold In the Trans
vaai


Klyda r. steege, writing of South
Africa in the June ST. Nicholas. tells
Of the discovery of gold in the Trans
vaal, and the growth OF johannesburg.
A German named Mauch was the
first to discover evidences of gold in
the Transvaal, but, falling 10 interest
his fellow countrymen in mining in SO
difficult and distant a country, nothing
came Of his discovery. Not until an
Englishman, Struben by name, found
the gold on the Transvaal again, was
any special interest taken in the mat
ter. He spread the news, and In a
years time from the first opening of
the country, twenty thousand people
had arrived on the spot, eager to make
fortunes
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1900-08-07

Is made from cheap chemicals, and
when added to certain quantity of
water will furnish electricity enough
to light house or drive an automo-
bile. But this is nothing compared to
the strengthening power contained in
a bottle of Hostetter's Stomach Bitters
1t cures indigestion, dyspepsia, bill
liousness, liver and kidney troubles.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1900-08-07

Pineapple orchards in Florida are
under cover. Ten or fifteen acres are
planted and covering about seven
feet above the ground is spread over
the orchard. This covering, of course.
is arranged so that there are openings
at certain distances. giving plenty of
light and air for the better cultivation
of the trees.