davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
PREACHERS SORE THROAT.
Pu1pit Speakers Are Not the Only
Sufferers From II.

"The late Colonel Ingersoll frequently
gained applause during his lectures by
referring to the fact that there was such
thing recognized in the standard med
ical books as preachers sore throat but
that no one had ever heard OF an auc-
TONER'S sore throat" observed a popu-
lar voice builder to reporter, land
while Colonel Ingersoll probably was
entitled to the point he wanted to Illus
trate he was somewhat off when he in
sisted on the point.
" Preachers sore throat Is recognized
by all writer's on throat diseases, but it
is not necessarily confined to pre-" chers.
Lawyers--I mean court advocates-and
others who overtaX their voice at times
suffer from it as frequently as do preach
ers. One of the answers to Colonel In
gersol would be that the books did NOT
include singers sore throat either
The fact of the matter is that auc-
tioneers do not have sore throat. A sue
cessful auctioDeer, as far ms his voice is
concerned, is provided naturally with
abrormally strong vocal chords. These
he strengthens by continual use. so that
in Il few years the voice and throat are
the strongest parts of him. He is as LA
Bile, however, as others to suffer from
uiIfI tTCU0IeS una mas MS snare oil them
too. 1t is the same way with singer.
His voice is generally the strongest part
of him, and almost every other organ
suffers before his throat does. The public
does not know how many there are who
try auctioneering aud who find that they
cannot hold out The voice of every
man is not suited for continuous work.
Auctoneer work means several hours Of
constant vocal exercise each day.
THE reason the preachers throat goes
back on him now and then, and it does,
is that his use of the vocal chords is not
constant, for ordinarily the greater eff
fort is seldom more than once week.
Another thing that operates against the
prea cheers and in favor Of the auctioneer
is that the preacher seldom speaks in
the open air. while the auctioneer finds
the most use for his voice in the open
air. Open air is the most wonderful
strengthened of the voice. A marked ex-
ample of this is the fact that circus per-
formers and circus followers generally,
who work IL tents and open air, never
have sore threats. "-Wsshingten Star.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08

The lnternationales Criminal Po!izei-
batt, just started in Mayence, Germany,
will furnish the police all over the world
with the description Of criminals who are
wanted" by the various governments.
The paper is published in German,
French and English and is embellished
with the photographs OF villainous look
ing ruiians. The English section is a
marvel Of original composition. For in
stance, a fugitive errand boy is thus de-
scribed Height, ca.1.65. M; darkfair
hair; beardless beard, an ordinary nose
and round chin. The royal states pros
ecutor wants us to deliver him to the
nearest courts prison by notice giving
hither." An insurance agent is described
as being "of broad shouldered stature,
with full beard beard which grows only
since short time, a gray tippet for
dressing and as particular marks specta-
cles in white frame"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
HE WAS JEALOUS.
So Mary Jane BogEs Had to BE Very


Nature could not have been much I'M
kinder in Withholding all beauty and
grace than she had been in the case Of
Mary Jane Buggs, the woman who wash
ed and scrubbed for the Martin family.
1t was conceded by all who saw Mary
Jane that a tanker, salower, more gro
tesquely homely woman of A. years could
not have been found in days journey
But she worked hard and faithfully to
support not only herself but also trfling
and good for nothing husband
One day Mr.. Martin CHANGED to 90
down into the cellar when Mary Jane
Boggs was at work in the laundry. Stop
ping at the laundry door. Mr.. Martin was
asking Mary how she was getting along
and if she had regular employment. when
her shiftless husband appeared, and Mr.
Martin went up stairs and left the pair
together.
A week later Mary Jane was again at
the Martin home and again Mr.. Martin
CHANGED to stop and speak to her.
rs your husband doing anything now,
Mary?' asked Mr.. Martin.
NO. sir; nothin but set an nuss his
Jealousy"
His jealouy?"
Yes, sir. He is the jealousest man
you ever see, sir"
"Of whom is he JEALOUSY
"Well, sir; to tell you the honest truth,
he is jealouser just now OF you nor of
any one else, know that you mean
well, but it'd he better for Boggs' jeal-
ousy If you took less notice Of me. A
body cant be too careful nowadays any
how."-Detroit Free Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
A Defiant POstmaatep.

In speaking the other day of the great
progress which has been made in tho
postal service OF the country within re-
cent years Postmaster Merritt told a
story to illustrate that there were still
parts Of the United States which had
not been touched by the spirit of i'm
provement.
II stopped in at the postof1ice depart
ment the other day" General Merritt
said in reciting the story, "and in looking
over some of the communications 1
CHANGED on one that took my fancy
nightly. II came from the head OF one
of Uncle Sans Offices way out in the
Rocky mountains, in an almost uninhab-
tied section, and appeared to have been
sent partly as note Of information and
partly as an ultimatum to the govern
ment at Washington. 1t read as follows:
Notice.-This Office will be closed for
the next three days while the postmaster
goes on bear hunt. You can discharge
Inc if you want to, but | warn you be.
forehand that I'm the only man that can
read and write in the neighborhood.' -
Washington Post.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
AbHurdt

The American do things queerly
in Scotland. Now, in Edinburgh you
number the houses on a street up one
side and down the other.
Briton-Iiow do you do II in America ?
The American-Why, we give the
houses alternate numbers the odd num-
bers on one side OF the way and the even
numbers on the other.
The Briton lafter pause)-Haw, haw,
haw. Ha-ha Haw- haw!
The American-Whatis the matter?
The Briton-Why-that's the mUst--ha-
ha-absurd system | ever heard OF in my
life!
The American-How so?
The Brton-Thnk how ridiculous it
would be to have to 20 across the street
to speak to your next door neigh bor.--
New York Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
A Rich Mana Worries.

According to his own admission, Henry
Willard, one of the two surviving broth
ers of the three who were famous in
Washington hotel history for third of Il
century, is in failing health. although he
Is active as a cat on his feet and has ev-
cry appearance OF robust vitality. Henry
Willard is one of the wealthy men Of
Washington. He retired from active bust
ness several years ago-that is to say,
he retired as much as he could. A day
or two ago friend met him on the street
and inquired about his health
81 AIN feeling bad" was the reply. 81
do not sleep well | toss all night long
and wake MP unrefreshed | do not know
what | am going to do"
Thinking to Jolly" him, the friend
remarked; "If / were as comfortably
fixed as you l think would sleep sound
ly. | certainly would not lose sleep from
worry"
Il am not so sure Of that" rejoined
the old man, and his voice took on a
querulous tone. II am not SO sure what
you would do IL you were in my place.
Why, just think OF it! Supposin you
had from 100000 to 100000 lyin
idle in bank all the time and had to
worry about iAvestir it. Maybe you
would not find it so blamed easy to sleep
as you think. just think of it--all that
money not earnin a dollar"
The friend closed the incident by re-
marking that he would try valantly TO
struggle against insomnia under similar
horrible ashinRtop Letter
in Chicago Post.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08

Everywhere we go in Italy we see a
pair of gcndarmes standing in the rail-
way stations or in lazy way parading
up and down the platform side by side.
One is never seen singly; they are always
in couples. They are generally hand
some young men. Immediately dressed
in black, with cooked hats, white gloves
and swords. They never appear to be
doing anything but looking about and are
apparently too well dressed to think
soiling their clothes with ordinary police
mems duties. Their existence has no
doubt been mystery to many n traveller.
They must be exceedingly numerous. for
they are seen at even the smaller stations
and always in inseparable couples.
They are known as carabinari and are
made up of picked men from the Italian
army, who receive increased pay, serve
for eight years and then have a claim for
some civil post in the public service.
They are said to form very credita bic
aud efficient national police, and without
their watchful surveillance acts of brig
andage would be frequent in Italy as in
former times and perhaps political out
breaks also.-Letter in Detroit News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
MISS ALICE RHODES.
The Most Peculiar Specimen of Fem
iDinity In south Africa.

The most interesting woman In South
Africa next to Olive Schreiner, the au-
thoress, Is Miss Alice Rhodes, whose in
dividuality entities her to consideration
aside from her being Cecil Rhodes sis
ter"
Miss Rhodes is masculine In appear
ence. She resembles the typical English
squire. being horid and squarely built
and having deep, powerful voice. She
generally sits with her feet apart and
lacks feminine msnnerisms.
Miss Rhodes has been her brothers
constant companion, and is devoted to
him-the only man, it is said, for whom
she has any federation.
At her home Groote Schuur near
Cape Town. Miss Rhodes has collected
wonderful assortment of nearly all the
wild animals of South Africa.
passenger on steamer going to
Cape Town recently. says that Miss
Rhodes was foremost in directing ath-
letic games on shipboard and in UNI
piring contests.
During the games on board ship Miss
Rhodes sat on the promenade deck with
the captain, officers and lady COM
panion and regulated handicaps for the
running matches, umpired the cock6ght
and was active in adding to the interest
of the tug of war.
Twelve brawny Cornishmen were pit
ted against team of crack athletes
from the ships crew. Miss Rhodes sided
with the Cornishmen. but offered an ad-
dtional prize to the winners. Then the
training OF the sailors told and slowly
but surely they were hauling the Cor
nshmen over toward the fatal line; then
Miss Rhodes came to the rescue. Spring
ing to her feet, she cried: MY faith, Cor
nishmen, take off your shoes! That's
why the sailors are beating your"
The committee on rules decided that
this was a fair action, and then the tug
began again, this time to the advantage
OF the Cornishmen.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
PREPARING FOR PEACE.
A sideIight on some Current Eng
lish History.

Scene: The Office of the Hon. Joe
| Chamberlain.
Enter n devoted lover Of his kind.
The Visitor-&r, I've called to beseech
you to do all in your power TO avoid
bloodshcd In the Transvaal republic
The Hon. Joe-Nery good of you, I'm
sure. That's just what ! am doing. To
his secretary Telegraph to Benares to
bring the heavies to the coast at once.
Start the fusiliers from Bombay az soon
as they are aboard Cable America for
those army mules, and make the order
for G,O00. Request Butler to hurry up the
heavy guns from Natal. (To the caller.)
You were saying, my dear sir?
The VISITOR was saying that vast
army Of her ma jestys faithful subjects
are hoping and praying night and day
that your heart may turn toward the Sc
rener delights Of peace.
The Hon. Joe-It has already turned.
my very deV sir. TO his secretsryJ hi
rect the captains Of the Vengeance aud
the Terrible ~ communicate with Butler
Mt the earliest possible moment. Ship the
Norfolk blues by the Pelican, and direct
the colonel Of the Worcestershire rifles
TO have his men at Portsmouth tomor-
row. Order cocoon more cartridges,
and have the Junjab mountain batteries
ready to start at a moments notice.
TO the visitor.J | assure you, sir, that
I'm doing everything can in the inter
ests of peaceful settlement OF this din
Guilty. (To his secretary That memo
rnndum, please. CTo the visitor) Bar
ring accidents, sir, ] shall have on the
Transvaal border in rs days time $4,000
of the finest fighting men in the empire.
They will be backed by sufficient ma
chine guns to destroy thousands upon
thousands In addition to this two Of
her majesty's most powerful cruisers will
be ready to lombard the coast. and n
dozen batteries Of heavy guns will be
prepared to blow the daylights out of ev-
cry point Of attack. Every munition of
war will be provided in abundance.
Nothing conducive to the most deadly
campaign will be omitted And then
The Visitor lin an agitated voice)-And
then
The Hon. Joe (smiling) - And then
there will be no war.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
Thumb Nail Dra WINGS,

In collections centuries old, to be seen
in both China and Japan. are specimens
of the most remarkable drawings in the
world, pictures of all kinds drawn with
the thumb nail. The nails of the thumb
on the left hand Of the artists of these
are allowed to grow 20 an enormous
length. sometimes to foot or is inches
and are then pared down to pen shaped
point.
Dipping this oddly constructed pen in a
beautiful vermilion or sky blue ink, the
only kinds of ink used in these sacred
thumb nail drawings. the artist graceful
ly outlines his work. Occasionally the
bold touches from the studio of a master
IN this department Of high art" are life
size and are sketched by a few sweeps Of
the artists arm. Like other pictures and
sketches of the orient, these sacred
thumb nail pictures are mounted and roll
ed up like scrolls.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
MORPHINE BEAT THE GAME.
II Made n Young Gambler Quit While
He WINS u winner.

81 see gambling is running wide open in
Colorado again. said n cattleman Of
Topeka. 81 don't suppose, though, it is
as wide open now as 1t was in the late
eighties. | was in Manitou every sum
ger at that time, and the high games
that used to run at some Of the clubs
would be an eye opener to the gamblers
of the present day. Cattlemen were max
ing money then, as were the miners, and
they used to meet in Manitou and try for
each others pocketbooks, with the result
that the professional gamblers got the
money.
IL remember how one young fellow was
made to quit n winner against his will
His name was Rich. He was a nephew
Of one Of the big reaper men, and his
folks kept him supplied with money.
regular allowance. He had been gam
bling every cent of it. letting bills pile up
for hotel and livery and everything else
His people sent word that they wouldn't
send any more money and said IL he got
into trouble he'd have to get out himself
His creditors were just about ready to
jump on to him, when one night he made
a big winning He was playing faro in
the club that's torn down now. 1t used
to stand over from the depot and was the
place for high play.
81 suppose he had $4,000 or $4,000 in
front of him when his friends began try
ing to persuade him to quit. He was lust
like all the rest Of them, going to break
the bank and all that sort OF thing. and
he wouldn't Uuit.
at was u red hot night for Manitou
and with the excitement and all Rich had
pulled oft his coat and rolled m his
sleeves There WAS doctor among his
friends, and though he hadn't said any
thing to Rich. suppose he felt a respon-
sibilitv. because the vounr fellow had
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
4 Great Story Teller.

Irene Fedossova, who has just died in
Russia, was almost the last of the pro-
fcssional story tellers who, before the
spread of education. were very numer-
Gus in the east. She was quite illiterate.
but her memory was so phenomenal that
she could recite more than 100000 lines
Of heroic and legendary poetry. She
was frequently in st. Petersburg and
was often invited to the palaces of the
imperial family and nobility to give reci-
tations In summer she wandered from
town TO village and had never been alb
sent from the famous fair Of Mini Nov
gor0d for GO years.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
ASKED TO TEACH VICTORIA.
How a Young American Jewess Lost
nm Interesting Opportunfty.

This is brand new stitch" said the
young woman, holding up dainty piece
OF e:s-Sroidery, "and if you will come
some day when we can be all alone III
teach you how to do it."
That reminds me of a good story
said her companion. "You know that
Queen Victoria is a crank on the subject
OF needlework and spends much time
learning new things in embroidery and
crochet work. Well. few years ago she
was spending some time at Wiesbaden,
and she used to drive to the bazaar and
LOOK at the needlework while people
looked at her and wondered why she
would persist in wearing the old, rusty
bonnet One day the young woman who
usually waited on her showed her what
you Just showed to me-a brand new
sutch-and was asked to call the next
day and teach her majesty how to make
It. She was to make a second call to
finish the job several days later, but in
the meantime was taken i'll, and the pro.
prietor of the establishment was beside
herself and worried as to how and where
she would get a substitute.
"On the day before the appointed time
a young girl from a western city in the
United States came to the bazaar and
saw and admired the piece of needle.
work and told the saleswoman that il
was the first she had seen since she had
hnlshed similar piece.
stitch
Why
well, there was q. whispered censulta.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
ONE ON SOUSA.
How an ArtIcss Organ Grinder Made
Business Good.

John Philip Sousa has an intense dis
like for the mutilaton of his musical
compositions. To hear one Of his march
es played out of tune or time not only
sets his teeth on edge, but provokes his
anger beyond his power OF resistance.
Not long ago he went down from his
home in Yonkers on the Hudson, to New
York city, and in front of the Grand
Central station he heard an organ
grinder playing The Washington Post
March" lie was turning the wheel
with the utmost sowness and extreme
irregularity. 1t sounded like funeral
march.
Sousa stood it as long as he could and
then rushed across the street and ex
claimed; That's not the way to play
that. Don't do it any more. Its aw-
ful"'
How should play?" asked the
grinder impassiyely y.
Faster, faster.' .n-~:'
All"
YES. This way. Let ME show you"
And he took the crank into his hands
and turned it with SO much spirit and
vigor that he soon had crowd around
HIM.
THANK you," said the organist who
are you|
I'm Sousa. That's the proper way to
play that march"
Thank you, sir" replied the organist,
bowling profoundly
The next day Sousa came to town on
the same train and found the same organ
grinder in the same place playing The
Washington Post March" just as he had
been taught the day before. but with
much greater success. Murmuring and
evidently awe stricken spectators were
dozens deep circled around the musician.
Sousa forced his way to the front to see
the cause of the excitement. lie found
it. On the organ was II large canvas
sign reading; THE Washington Post
March. Composed by John Philip Sousa.
Played by Pupil Of Sousa."
Mr.. Sousa has not given any more mu-
sic lessons to strangers. (OD
Press Post.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
Bargain Counter Rcpurtee,

1t was at a department store bargain
counter for odds and ends. The crush
was terrific. Women squeezed and ell
bowed and showed to get alongside the
counter. Frequently two of them hap
pened to pick up the same bargain at
one and the same time. and then they
both retained their clutch on it and look
ed daggers ut each other until the stron-
ger Of the two won the victory or the bar
gain was rent into ribbons.
A naughty matron picked up box con-
tanning three cakes OF imported SOAP for
3 cents at the same moment that hum
BILE looking little woman in a faded tan
coat had fastened her grasp on the box
Il believe | was the first to take hold
Of this" said the matron in the electric
seal coat, freezingly.
The humble looking little woman held
on for minute, studying her antago-
mist. then she slowly relaxed her hold on
the box.
well. you can have it." she said anna
bly,. You look as il you need the soap.'
Washington Post
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08

G. II. Glenn. superintendent of public
instruction of the state of Georgia. tells
this story:
One day he had explained the powers
OF the ray machine to a gathering OF
darkies who had assembled at a school
commencement After the meeting was
over a negro called him aside aud want
ed to know if he was in earnest about
the machine Mr. Glenn assured him
that he was.
BOSS, wants ter ak you eff er Niger
ct chicken kin you look in him an see
chicken"
why. yes, Ephraim," said Mr.. Glenn.
"Well, boss, wants ter AK you one
mo- question. Kin you look in dat Niger
an tell whar dat chicken cum from -
Memphis Scimitar.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08

Ion, and then the girl was asked IL she
would act as substitute the next day and
teach the queen. You can imagine that
she did not hesitate. She went to the
hotel, and. radiant with joy and excite
ment, told her mother of her good for
tune, and, after she had received the
congratulations OF her friends, her moth.
err shattered all her plans by reminding
her that the next day was Saturday and
that, as good Jewess. she could do no
sewing on that day. And now the young
woman tells the story of how near she
came to teaching Queen Victoria new
titch."-New York Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
A PLEA FOR THE BIRDS.

heard the skylark's hes,onwsrd note,
The throstle greet the day,
And watched the white gulls wheel and aoa,
About the bright blue bay,
The kinglct flicker round the rose,
The woodpeckcr alight
a moment where the woodbne blows,
Then ripple out Of sight.
And then another sight saw,
Tossed pumagc, crimson streak,
The shattered wing, the crippled claw
Mute breast and dropping beak,
And round this havoc creatures fair,
Not sad, but eager now
With the dead spoil TO deck their hair
And ornament their brow.
Oh, tender maiden, trustful wife,
Nurtured in bliss and ease,
TIL sclfsame heaven that lcnt you life
Gave life no less TO these,
And when, mid wintry frost and rime,
To Nule log hearth you cling.
Remember, in the sweet springtime
The birds again will sing
They with their lays your love will thank
II you will only spare
And once again to viilowy bank
The kingh,her repair.
Oh let the tern complete the nesc
Its tenderness begun
And oriole plume and cgret crest,
Clean, sacred, In the sun
Alfred Austin in Independent.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-02-08
~ MOTHERS KISS.

When but q child. II e'cr I came to harm
Perhaps twas but a scratch upon my arm
I'd run to mother, and she'd always say,
III kiss it; then the pain will 70 away"
All, every time 1t seemed to me that though
The mark remained, it never hurt me sol
Her loving kisses did for me more good
Than any kind OF ointment ever could.
Long years have passed. | may be childish yet
That youthful fancy cannot forget.
For to my aching head It's soothing now
To have those dear lips pressed upon my brow.
For remember how since long ago
She's clsspcd me in her loving arms, and, loi
seem child again and hear her say.
''Tll kiss it; then the pain will go away"
Kansas City Independent.