The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1900-03-09
PATS IDEA OF THE CASE.
The Dtgnity Of the Madison Court Must
BE Upheld.

The following communication from
valued correspondent Of the Chron-
icle is decidedly pertinent to the oc-
casion:
Say, Moikel Did yez hear about
thin arrestin' the Morristown gro
cerymon? Well, yez see it wor this
way There wor great shmallpox
scare down in Madison and they
towld him he mustn't drive down to
Madison fer fear he might sphred the
germs-or whatever yez call thin.
Well He thought they didn't hov
my business to artist him SO he
drove down there agin. The first
thing he met was cop, who took
him befoore the justice.
Well! I was agoin to tell yez
about the case The justice raped
on his disk an called for ordher.
Prisoner to the barp sez he.
Officer 'sez he, 'phat is the prisoner
charged wid?' Wild importin' the
deadly mikerobes of shmallpox into
the boorough of Madison, yer homer, -
sez the officer. 'Yez nov heard the
charge, sez his homer. Are yez
guilty or not guilty?'
Not guilty!' sez the grocerymon.
'What!' sez his homer, didn't we
see yez dhrivin' yer wagin around?'
Yez can't sthopt me wagin from
goin' round, sez the grocerymon.
Look here sez his homer, I want
ye to understand thot whin yez run
up agin the Hilth Boord of Madison
yez hov sthruck a harder boord thin
the shingle yer mither used to use
whin ye wer yoong, an want yez
to have due respict for thot honorable
body an answer the QUESTIONS put to
ye. Are yer groceries all vaccinated?'
sez he.
No yer homer, sez the grocerymon
Thin ply did yez bring thin froom a
SMALLPOX district into a hilthy little
town like Madison?' sez his homer.
The Boord of Hilth will plase
sthep outside and examine this mons
sthock of goods and rapport. Officer,
plase sthep to the telephone an
call up Morristown an tell thin thot
this gintlemon won't be home to-
noight; but turn yer face away froom
the phone an don't ketch the breath
of the mon at the other ind of the
wire for he moight how the disase
too. Thin wan of the Boord of
Hilth comes in. we hov to rapport
yer honor, sez he, thot the small
particles found scattered about the
grocery wagin, which wor at first
supposed to be the deadly mikerobes
of shmallpox have been carefully ex-
amined by the Boord throogh power
full microscopes of siveral thousand
hoorse power and hov been found to
be common hay seed. 1t wor a narrow
escape, yer Homer, sez he, for they
moight just asst we'll hov been mixer
obes as hay seed Thin his Homer
looked at the grocerymon wild foire
in his eyes. Inthroducin' hay seed
into Madison is a criminal effince,
sez he,' an I'll hov to howld yez.
Officer, take the prisoner to the lock-
up 4 beg yer Honer's pardin, sez
the cop, but the spacious foor by six
coort house of the borough of Madison
is occupied to the full extint of its
tremendjeous capacity an if we put
this SMALLPOX mon into such a hilthy
lookup we'll hov to turn out upon
the cruel wurld a number of good
Madison men who are out of wurz,
yer Homer.
Right .ye are, Mr.. Officer, sez
his Homer, an I'm glad to see the
consideration ye hov fer Madison
paeple, sez he. .'In view of the fact
thot this mon moight carry disase in
to the airy corridors of the Madison
lookup, the grocerymon kin go home
to Morristown be the mkt thrain an
there await the action of the Grand
Joory. The Coort is adjourned, sez
he. y
1PAT."