davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27
THERE ARE OTHER FAKrRs

There has been a great deal said about
Kansas being the home OF the news
paper fake, and eastern papers have
printed a great many things emanating
from Kansas that would make Ananias
hang his head. but there are other fake
factories besides those operated in
Kansas.
In the New York World Of October "a,
under a scare head. appeared the fol-
lowing:
Especial to The World
Central Village. Conn.,, Oct 23-In the
rural district Of Waterford couple, who
may De called Miss Green and Mr.. Grun-
dlety. arrived at a clergyman's house and
asked 20 be married The ceremony pro-
ceeded g the question, do you take this
when the groom replied. mo, have
taken sudden dislike to her.
quested to retire for an explanation
Friends persuasion finally caused an
agreement for a continuance of the cers-
rlony- When the question was put to the
brlde-elect, however. she pertfv replied
No, have just felt a decided hatred Tor
A week went by and they appeared
again beIore the same clergyman His
answer was brief but pointed
No, can not marry YOU I have
taken violent disgust to both Of you .
Exeunt all
These who attended the performance
of Richard and Pringle's Ministries III
Topeka last month may recognize the
puFpoFted news item printed in the
World 1t is a reproduction. almost
word for word. of one OF the brief mono
logueS of Harry Fiddler. one OF the end
men of the minstreIs.
It is not probable that in Connecticut
hamlet this negro minstrel Joke should
become a reality.
The Kansas falZirs wiz please take a
back seat
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

AS a reason for believing that Nc
Kinley win win, an eastern paper says
that no war party was ever defeated
in time Of war" No information is Civ
en- as to what war is referred to- With
whom are we at war? Not China nor
the Filipinos. That question was settled
long ago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

The Philadelphia Inquirer remarks
that ''once the Democratic party had
the welfare of the country at heart"
This is worthy of note, because it is
the first time that an opposition organ
ever made such an admission. Perhaps
the Inquirer will be more specific and
tell US when it was
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

most expensive.
No man is so absent minded that he
wants to pay bill twice.
never strikes twice in the same place
Blobbs-'He says he would rather
fight than eat" Slobbs-I guess ne
he's dyspeptie-"
DO you believe in heredity?" asked
the Serious man. well, I've known old
replied the Cheerful idiot
wigg-''They say that for a Chicago
man he has remarkably quiet tastes"
Wagg-"Quiet fastest I guess you've
never overheard him eating"
Tommy's Pop-"An optin1ist, my son,
is a man who could lose both legs and
have no kick coming"
Hoax-.sWhat makes you thing he's
a Republican? Why he has even named
his dog Bryan" Joax-'That's what
makes me think he's a Republican I've
seen the dog"
Youngpop = why so downcast?'
Newlywed-'AIy wife threatens to go
home to her mother" Youngpop--
"T1umphl That's noting. My wife
NIuggins-' 'Henpeckke says he isn't
going to buy any coal until it comes
down. Buggins-'sWell, his wife usu-
ally manages to make it SO hot for him
that I shouldn't think he would need
any,
Nov" said the kindergarten teacher,
wishing to illustrate the five senses,
what are our noses for?'' please,
Ba'ab, dey bust be to catch cold id, ,"
shifted the small boy at the foot OF the
class.
The nervous man threw down his paper
irritably. There's that girl next door
practicing on the piano again, he ex-
claimed You must remember that
practice makes perfect" remarked his
wife YES; a perfect nuisance" growled
the nervous man.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

[
Every boy has it in for a. rat, a spider,
and a hawk
1t took an Atchison woman an hour
today to buy three yards of baby rib
bon"
You no doubt often say you hate
conventionalities. You don't: you wor-
ship them
"sometimes,'' we heard a man say to-
day, "a man gets badly left Nearly al
ways
A foolish woman never appears to
worse advantage than she does in a. dry
goods store
Most people receive so few kilograms,
that when they receive one, they expect
to hear of death
Every mother Of a spoilt child, says
proudly, as she fixes it's clothes, It's
a wonder it isn't spoilt.'
A lot of silly people insist on killing
every good movement by overloading it
with well meant but faulty support
The minute a girl is given an engage
ment ring, she begins trotting to the dry
goods stores to look at lingerie.
Ct believe" said a man yesterday,
they go to the highest bidder anyway"
A man who has been to a spiritualist
meeting, Is an unreliable in his state
mentz as man who has been hunting.
Atchison is full of men who cannot
understand why there are so many fools
who are not going to vote as they vote.
An Atchison married woman borrow
ed seven dollars seven years ago. and
hasn't been able to scrape it together
yet.
A woman who lives in rented house,
sent for the agent this morning, and in
quired, What are you going to do
about the rats? They are becoming very
bad"
Every four years during an Atchison
mans long married life he has been ex-
planning how a president is elected to his
wife, but she does not understand it, and
never will
man who lately spent SIS on a slot
machine. and received nothing in return
kicked the machine to pieces and took
his money back. The owner of the place
made no complaint: he knew the man
had a kick coming.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

The Turkish consul at New York city
has asked permission from his govern =
ment to do newspaper work. If he gets
1t, perhaps he viii tell why the sultan
doesn't pay that bill.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Perhaps in the future, women of the
Mrs Hart stripe will place their aecum-
ulations Of wealth beyond the reach Of
bank officials who have been robbed be-
fore it is too late.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

If the assertions of partisans on both
sides are to be believed, the Republicans
will buy the vote Of Kentucky and then
the Democrats viii steal it away from
them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

If Mr. Cleveland views the campaign
as distressing under existing conditions
what would he call it if he were com
PEELED to take the place Of Col. Bryan or
Gov. Roosevelt?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

The man with a few hundred dollars
can not have fun with the owner of Is
cents much longer, by offering to bet on
the election at all sorts Of odds
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

It is announced that Gen. Joe Wheeler
has at last consented to say a few
words in behalf of a friend who is run
ming for congress
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Washington Post: The man who reads
his party newspaper exclusively and bets
his money accordingly is usually shor1
at the end OF the campaign.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27
PoINTEp PARAeRAPHs


IRON the Chicago News.1
A ship having two owners must be a
partnership.
Many a man stumbles over imaginary
things in his path.
A smile is cooler in summer and
warmer in winter than a frown.
The average politician is as tough as
India rubber and his conscience is more
elastic
It's really surprising how much hap
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

People who are disposed to bet on the
Kentucky election. viii do well to re-
member that the Goebel law is still in
full force and vigor.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Chicago Record: Think of the nerve
of the campaign prophets in presumine
to tell what Kansas will do!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Having discovered that they can ex-
pect on help from Europe, the Beers ap-
pear to have started in to help them
selves.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

In four years the price of corned beef
has advanced from $115 a can to S1.55
can The beef market is controlled by
beef trust capitalized for 800. GOO, 600 and
making yearly dividends Of s. 900. 600.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

The weather we are having while tn
coal strike continues, is a case o
tempering the wind to the shorn lamb.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Ex-Gov. W. Q. Bradley and Col Ben
nett H. Young of Kentucky have just
INDUCED in a public interment of the
hatchat
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

John Sherman took no chances on q
contest Of his will after his death. He
wrote it himself and he was a good law
ynr
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

And the president of Argentina re-
marked to the president of Brazil thai
it was a long time between hugs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

The campaign appears to be drifting
into an interchange of abusive epithets
after all, in some localities.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

In less than two weeks the country
viii be reading stories of how it hap
pened.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

ately situated may do if they chase. as
well as furnishing much of the movement
ofsthe story. Price S1-O0. (ThrOugh KEEL
lam Book & Stationery Col
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

If the election could be left to a vote
OF parties, Mr.. Bryan would have safe
plurality
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Slow living and high thinking wi
make better men than high living an
slow thinking.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

A goodly portion of what the world
calls good luck is composed of ninety
Zine parts Of ambition and one part Cd
talent
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

BY the time the first baby is a year
old it has a toy bank full Of money
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

A woman may have a poor memory
but she never forgets a compliment
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

The longer a man stands stin the more
he doesn't want to move.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

A story first heard at mothers knee
is seldom forgotten-and the same may
mothers knee which will readily recur
to the reader
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27
QUAKER RRFLECTToNs.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
Experience is the best teacher, and the
most expensive.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27
GLOBE SIGHTS.

IF'rom the Atchison Globe1
Every boy has it in for a rat, a spider,
and a hawk
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

No man is so absent minded that he
wants to pay a bill twice.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Sometimes we heard a man say to-
day, "a man gets badly left" Nearly al
ways.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

There are times when nothing speaks
so eleQuently as silence.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

piness or misery lies in the circle OF a
wedding ring
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

A foolish woman never appears to
goods store.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

You no doubt often say you hate
conventionalities You don't: you wor-
ship them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

| 1t took an Atchison woman an hour
today to buy three yards of baby rib
/ hcN,,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Most people receive SO few kilograms,
that when they receive one, they expect
to hear of a. death.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Wigg-''They say that for a Chicago
man he has remarkably quiet tastes. .
Wagg-"Quiet fastest I guess you've
never overheard him eating"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

DO you believe in heredity?'' asked
the Serious man. well, I've known old
clothes to descend from father to son,
replied the Cheerful Idiot
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Like lightning, the successful borrower
never strikes twice in the same place
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Tommy-sPop, what's an optimism
Tommy's Pop-"An optimist, my son
is a man who could lose both legs and
have no kick coming"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Blobbs-''He says he would rather
fight than eat Slobbs-sI guess he
must be a pugilist.' Blobbs-' Maybe
he's a dyspeptie-"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Every mother of a spoilt child, says
proudly, as she fixes it's clothes, It's
a wonder it isn't spoilt''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Hoax-"What makes you thing he's
a Republican? Why. he has even named
his dog Bryan Joax-''That's what
makes me think he's a Republican. I've
seen the dog
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

A lot of silly people insist on killing
every good movement by overload ding it
with well meant but faulty support.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

It's really surprising how much hap
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

A woman who lives in a rented house,
sent for the agent this morning, and in
quired, What are you going to do
about the rats? They are becoming very
bad"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Youngpop = why so downcast?"
Newlywed-'NIy wife threatens to go
home to her mother Youngpop-
''Ffumphl That's noting. My wife
threatens to bring her mother on to US. .
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

The minute a girl is given an engage
ment ring, she begins trotting to the dry
goods stores to look at lingerie.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

Every four years during an Atchison
mans long married life he has been ex-
planning how a president is elected to his
wife. but she does not understand it, and
never will.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

A man who lately spent IS on a slot
machine, and received nothing in return.
kicked the machine to pieces and took
his money back. The owner of the place
made no complaint: he knew the man
had a kick coming
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

An Atchison married woman borrow
ed seven dollars seven years ago, and
hasn't been able to scrape it together
Goldsboro weekly argus., 1900-06-14
ONE OF THEIR TRICKS Elk.
POSED.

Mr.. EDIToR:-I am informed
that it is being told by designing
persons that I will not vote for
the Constitutional Amendments.
This is not true, and no person
ever heard me say SO.
On the contrary, I shall vote
for the amendments, and, if I had
the physical strength, | would
canvass the county in their favor.
If I believed, or doubted, that
any white man would be deprived
of bis vote, or would not have
equal rights with me, in all re-
spects, under the amendments, I
would not vote for their adoption,
l will thank the Democratic
papers in Wayne county to pubs
lish this note.
Yours very truly,
[. f. DORTCH.
Goldsboro, N. c., June Is, 1900.
Goldsboro weekly argus., 1900-06-14
HON. r.. B. GLENN,
AT the Opera House Friday Night-White
Supremacy Club

AT the Opera House Friday Night-White
Supremacy Club.
FRIDAY a1ght, June 18th, at
the Messenger Opera House,
Hon. r. B. Glenn will address
our people on the political issues
of the day. "Bob Glenn" is one OF
the finest speakers in the State,
and a great favorite in this secs
ton.
Immediately after the speaking
a White Supremacy Club will be
formed.
This will be the first club form
ed in the county. Col. A. c.
Davis has been appointed to or.
ganiz9 the White Supremacy
Clubs ip Wayne county.
Let the white people turn ou
Friday night. The ladies are
most cordially invited and urgec
! to be present.
Goldsboro weekly argus., 1900-06-14
ECZEMA, ITCHING HUMORS.
PIMPLES CURED BY
B. B. B.
Bottle Free to Sufferers.

Does your Skin itch and Burn?
Distressing Eruptions on the
Skin so you feel ashamed to be
in company? Do Scabs and Scales
form on the Skin, Hair Or Scalp?
Have you Eczema? Skin Sore
and Cracked? Rash form on the
Skin? Prickling Pain in the
Skim Boils? Pimples? Bone
Pains? Swollen Joints? Falling
Hair? All Run Down? Skin Pale?
Old Sores? Eating Sores? All
these are symptoms of Eczema
and Impurities and Poisons in
the Blood. To cure to stay cur
ed take B. b. B. Botanic Blood
Balm) which makes the blood
pure and rich. B. B. B. will
cause the sores to heal, itching
Of eczema to stop forever, the
skin to become clear and the
breath sweet. B. B. B. is just
the remedy you have been look
ing for. Thoroughly tested for
SO years. Our readers are advis-
ed to try B. B. B. For sale by
druggists at 81 per large bottle;
six large bottles full treatment)
S.. Complete directions with
each bottle. So sufferers may
test it, a trial bottle given away.
Write for it. Address BLOOD
BALM CO., 277 Mitchell ST.,
Atlanta Ca, Describe your trou-
BILE and Free personal medical
advice given
Goldsboro weekly argus., 1900-06-14

Goldsboro, N. c., June 13, 1900.
Goldsboro weekly argus., 1900-06-14
EXecutrlx' S. Notice.

Having qualified as executrix of the
Will of Hiram J. Ham, deceased,
all persons holding claims against him
are notified to present them for
their recovery; and all persons indebt-
ed to him are notified to make
immediate payment to the undersigned
FANNIE B. HAM, Executrix
Goldsboro. N. G.; May 16, 1900.
Goldsboro weekly argus., 1900-06-14
YOunQ M6n ?s5'51 &$s%$;' $5s5 E: {; ;s"-

good character, to LEARN TELEG.
RAPHY, Railroad Accounting, and
Typewriting. This is endorsed by all
leading railway companies as the only
perfect and reliable institution of it's
kind. All our graduates are assisted TO
positions. Ladies also admitted Write
for free catalogue. (Fall term opens
August 15th.) GLOBE TELEGRAPH
COLL LEGE, Lexington, Ky. ln14w3m
Goldsboro weekly argus., 1900-06-14
RICHARD LAMB DEAD.
A Bright Young Life Cut Off in the Spring.
time of its Promise: A Universal Fa-
vOrite.

vO14IOs
Richard Lamb is dead was the
sad news that awaited our COM
munity Sunday morning. and
it fell like a pail of personal sor-
row over every home, for he was
general favorite with all our
people and none knew him but to
love him.
Richard was the eldest of three
children, II years of age, and the
only son of his parents, Capt. and
Mrs. ,. W. Lamb, the pride and
joy of his devoted mother; the
staff and hope of his fond father
a dutiful, loving son. Fever
prostrated him some three weeks
ago, and in spite of constant med
ical attention and the most care
full and solicitous nursing the fell
destroyer baffied every effort OF
science and every ministration Of
tenderest love, and at 10 o'clock
on Saturday evening, the spirit Of
Richard Jones Lamb took it's
fight to God who gave it.
This simple announcement car
ries it's own sad-inexpressibly
sad story to every heart in our
town, and any mere human words
that we might add would be i'm
potent TO give sooth to hearts
that ache-to the stricken pa
rents as they sit in their saddened
home, sonless, comfortless, and to
the two little sisters who knew
the wealth of his ever solicitous
love and cheerful attentions. The
vast wealth of tenderest sympathy
lavished upon the bereaved pa
rents by our whole people may
not give pause to the vast tide Of
their unfathomable sorrow; but it
may, in the after time, give some
note of cheer-if there be room
for cheerful giving in the provi-
dence of God.
Every one loved Richard. He
was so bright, so bouyant, sc
courteous to every one with
whom he came in contact
ga perfect little gentleman"
was often heard expressed
of him. In his home, in his Sun
day school, in his business duties
with his fathers customers, ia
his social relations, he was uni
formly ever the same congenial,
bright, companionable spirit; and
it is no wonder that his untimeIy
death is so deeply and sincerely
mourned.
The funeral services were held
at the home Sunday afternoon
at 2 o'clock, Revs. DR.. F. D.
Swindell and F. W. FAIRIES Off
ciating, and the large concourse
ia attendance, embracing all
classes of our citiz ems, and the
profusion Of beautiful floral tri-
butes attested more eloquently
than words to the esteem in which
he was held and the abounding
sympathy and sorrow of our peo-
pie at his death.
The remains, accompanied by
the family and a number of per-
sonal friends, were taken to Will
mington on the afternoon train,
for interment in the family plot,
where they were met by great
outpouring Of the Sympathetic
friends of the family in that city
and with many beautiful floral
offerings, the pall-bearers here
and in Wilmington being selected
from among his young compan.
ions in life.