davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
The Next Vice President.

This is the question: now agitating the
minds of our leading politicians. and
while several prominent men have been
suggested, the final selection will IN
doubleday be the man who will serve
the party interests to the best advan-
tage. This is also true OF medicine.
When your stomach becomes weak and
you suffer from dyspepsia, indigestion,
constipation and flatulency or when in
need of a medicine to build up your sys-
tenor restore your appetite, you will
make no mistake, if you try that SOW
ereign remedy, Hostetter's Stomach Bit
tiers. IL is backed up by fifty years of
cures, and is recommended by many
prominent physicians. 1t is also an ex-
cellent medicine for malaria, fever and
ague, and can be had of any druggist.
BE sure to give II a trial.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
STORY OF A SLAVE.

To be bound hand and foot for years
by the chains of disease is the worst
form Of slavery. George D. Williams,
of Manchester, Mich, tells how such a
slave was made free. He says: my
wife has been so helpless for five years
that she could not turf owe in bed
alone. After using two bottles of Elec-
trio Bitters, she is wonderfully i'm
proved and able to do her own work"
This supreme remedy for female dis
eases quickly cures nervousness, sleep
~lessness, melancholy, headache, back
ache, fainting and dizzy spells. This
miracle working medicine is a godsend
to weak, sickly, rundown people. Every
bottle guaranteed. Only so cents. Sold
by Fischer & Co., druggists.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
FREE OF CHARGE.

Any adult suffering from a cold settled
on the breast, bronchitis, throat or
lung troubles of any nature. who will
call at Ireland's Drug Store will be pre-
sented with a sample bottle Of Bosch
ee's German Syrup, free of charge. On
ly one bottle given to one person. and
none to children without order from
parents. No throat or lung remedy ev-
er had such a sale as Boschee's German
Syrup in all parts Of the civilized world.
Twenty years ago millions of bottles
were given away, and your druggists
will tell you its success was marvellous.
1t is really the only Throat and Lung
Remedy generally endorsed by physi-
clans. One rs cen bottle will cure or
prove it's value. Sold by dealers in all
civilized countries.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
A TRAGEDY.

Timely information given Mrs. Get-'ge
Long, of New Straitsville, Ohio, pre-
vented a dreadful tragedy and saved
two lives. A frightful cough had long
kept her awake every night. She had
tried many remedies and doctors, but
steadily grew worse until urged to try
wholly cured her. and she writes this
marvellous medicine also cured Mr..
Long of a severe attack Of Pneumonia.
Such cures are positive proof of the
matchless merit Of this grand remedy
for curing all throat, chest and lung
troubles. Only SOC and $1.00. Every bot
tie guaranteed. Trial bottles free at
Fischer & Co.'s drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

Biliousness is a condition character
lied by a disturbance Of the digestive
organs. The stomach is debilitated, the
liver torpid, the bowels constipated.
There is a loathing Of food, pains in the
bowels, dizziness, coated tongue and
vomiting, first of the undigestcd or
partly digested food and then of bile.
Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver Tab
let's allay the disturbances OF the stom-
ach and create a healthy appetite. They
also one up the liver to a healthy ac-
ton and regulate the bowels. Try them
and you are certain to be much pleased
with the result. For sale by A. c. Ire
land.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
AUGUST FLOWER,

ut is a surprising fact" says Prof
Houton, that in my travels in all parts
of the world, for the last ten years,
have met more people having used
Green's August Flower than any other
remedy. for dyspepsia. deranged liver
and stomach, and for constipation.
find for tourists and statesmen, or for
persons filing office positions, where
headaches and general bad feelings
from irregular habits exist, that Green's
August Flower is a grand remedy. 1t
does not injure the system by frequent
use, and is excellent for sour stomachs
and Indigestion" Sample bottles free
at Ireland's Drug Store. Sold by deal
ers in all civilized countries.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

CENTRAL


you can reach the
very heart Of Mexico
The Mexican Contra.
Railway is STANDARD
gauge throughout and
offers all conven-
ences c. modern rail-
way travel. For rates
and further informa
ton address
B. j. KUHN
Conf Agt. Ell PasO. Tex
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
VALLEY 1 NORTHEASTERN RY
Central Time)

Central Tfme)
Train No. / leaves Carlsbad at 2:20 a.
m. Arrives at Roswell at $50 a. M:
Amarillo, 4:5O a. M, connecting with
the A., T. & 8. F. and the Colorado and
Southern.
Train No. 2 leaves Amarillo daily at
1880 p. m. Arrives at Roswell at $40
a. M; Carlsbad at 1885 p. m.
Train No. 6 leaves Carlsbad at Z a. m.
Arrives at Pecos at 11:05 a. m.
Train No. 5 (mixed) daily, leaves Por-
tales at 7:25 a. m. Arrives at Amarillo
at 1855 p. m.
Train No. 4 (mixed) daily, leaves
Amarillo at Z a.. m. Arrives at Portales
at gasp. m, and at Roswell at 1885 pm.
Stages for Lincoln, White Oaks and
Nogal, N. M, leave Roswell, N NJ,
daily except Sunday 1t 7 .. m.
For low rates, for Information regard
Ing the resources Of this valley, prices
Of lands, etc., address
-. = NICHOLS
General Manager,
Roswell, N. n.
r.. ". NARTINDHLL,
0sn. FRI and Rass Agent,
Amarillo, Tex, and Roswell, \. =.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
PLAYED OUT.

Dull Headache, Pains in various parts
Of the body, Sinking at the pit CT the
stomach, Loss of appetite, Feverish-
ness, Pimples or Sores are all positive
evidences Of impure blood. No matter
how 1t became SO, it must be purified
in order to obtain good health. Acker's
Blood Elixir has never failed to cure
Scrofulous or Syphilitic poisons or any
other blood diseases. It is certainly a
wonderful remedy. and we sell every
bottle on a positive guarantee.
For sale at Fischer's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

J. @. Hood, Justice of the Peace, Cros-
by, Miss, makes the following state
ment: II a certify that One Minute
Cough Cure will do all that is claimed
for 1t. My wife could not get her breath
and the first dose of 1t relieved her. 1t
has also benefited my whole family" 1t
acts Immediately and cures coughs,
colds, Group, grippe, bronchitis, asthma
and all throat and lung troubles. Ire
lands Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
SCATTERING the Commandments.

During IN interval of several minutes
the editor and the poet contemplated
each other with ~implacable fury.
This is a poem on spring, | presume!
sneered the editor, at last.
Not only on spring, but on both sides
of the paper as well! shrieked the poet,
defiantly.
Here the editor rose and clutched the
fellow by the throat, frothing at the
mouth the while.-Detroit Journal.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
What Little Percy Heard.

Papa, said little Percy, why doesn't
mama travel with the circus?
Why? Mr.. Henpeck asked; what
could she do In a circus?
She might be the strong woman. ]
heard her telling grandma the other day
that she could wind you around her lit
tie finger as easy as nothing .-Chicago
Times Herald.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

The quick route to market.

This line offers exceptional facilities
to stock shippers, In the way of rates,
time and shipping c%onveniences. Good
water and shipping pens at all principal
points.
Excellent pasturage at reasonable
rates can be obtained at several points
on this line.
Full particulars promptly furnished
upon application w.
E. w. MARTINDELI, d. H. NIcI OILS,
Actg. G. F. & P. A. General Mgr
Amarillo, Texas. Carlsbad, N. M.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Unhattering Proficiency.

Mr.. Grlmble-These scientists never
know when to stop, confound them!
Mrs. Grimble-What have they being
doing, dear?
Mr.. Grimble-ODe of them, l see, has
taught a monkey to play a four-hand
piece on the piano.-Brooklyn Life.
EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER. USE
Acker's English Remedy in any case Of
coughs, colds or Group. Should 1t fail
to give immediate relief, money refund
ed. rs cts. and so cts.
For sale at Fischer's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Only Apparently Contradictory.

1t sounded contradictory, but after
all unquestionably there are occasions
when one can give away" and "sell'
at the same time.
"She told me-" aaid her dearest
friend, that she never would marry
for money, but don't you think she
gave herself away when she sold her.
self to old Bullion?"
And the dearest friends friend
thought she did.-Chicago Post.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Baby's Overplus of Brain.

Oh, John, exclaimed the fair young
mother, l I'm glad you're home. l have
been so worried.
Why, dear, he asked, what's the
matter?
It's about the baby. l tremble to
think of it. You know they say children
that are too smart grow up.
Yes, yes, he cried, go on! What is it?
Where is our darling? What has hap
pened? Go on!
John, she said, putting her arms
around his neck and sobbing upon his
breast, he said, Da da, today, and he is
only nine months old!-Tid Bits.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
IT SAVED HIS LEG.

p. A. Danforth, of La Grange. Ca,
suffered intensely for six months with
a frightful running sore on his leg. but
writes that Bucklen's Arnica Salve
wholly cured 1t In ten days. For Ulcers,
Wounds. Burns, Boils, Pain or Piles It's
the best salve in the world. Cure guar
;anteed. Only Csc. Sold by Fischer &
Co., druggists.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

"Tommy doesn't feel like going tc
school this morning" said Mrs. Tuck.
err. HE says he has a pain in his
stomach. He's lying On the lounge
in the sitting-room, all bumped up
out of shape"
Il think" said Mr.. Tucker, reach.
ing behind the mirror for a small
rawhide, 81 can lick him into shape
chicago Tribune.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

Miss Florence Newman, who has been
a great sufferer from muscular rheu-
matism, says Chamberlain's Pain Balm
Is the only remedy hat affords her re-
lief. Miss Newman is a much respected
resident of the village of Gray, N. Y.
and makes this statement for the bene-
At Of others similarly afflicted. This lin
iment Is for sale by Ireland's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

After suffering from severe dyspep-
STA over twelve years and using many
remedies without permanent good, I
finally took Kodol Dyspepsia Cure. 1t
did me SO much good I recommend 1t to
every one" writes ]. e. Watkins, Clerk
and Recorder, Chillicothe. Mo. It d.
gests what you eat. Ireland's Pharma-
nv.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

ut is with a good deal of pleasure and
satisfaction that l recommend Cham
berlain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy" says Druggist A. w. Saw
telle, Of Hartford, Conn. "A lady GUS
toner, seeing the remedy exposed for
sale on my showcase, said to me: I
really believe that medicine saved my
life the past summer while at the shore
and she became SO enthusiastic over Its
merits that I at one made VI my mind
to recommend 1t in the future. Recently
a gentleman came into my store SO "
ercome with collie pains that he sank
at one to the floor. I gave him a dose
Of this remedy, which helped him. I
repeated the dose, and in fifteen minutes
he left my store smiling, informing me
that he felt as we'll as ever. Sold by
Ireland's Pharmacy,
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
That Godiva Incident.

Godiva was performing her justly
celebrated equestrian performance
which was to take Coventry off the delin-
quent tax list. As she rode past the
bakery she caught sight of Peeping
Tom.
"Rubberre necke!" she exclaimed in
the quaint spelling of that time.
p. S.-This little historical sketch
goes to show that gutta percha and
slang are not discoveries OF the present
time, by any can What would we d,
If it were not for history?
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

w. 8. Musser. Millheim, Pa, saved the
life Of his little girl by giving her One
Minute Cough Cure when she was dying
from Group 1t Is the only harmless rem
edy that gives immediate results. It
quickly cures coughs, colds, bronchitis.
grippe, asthma and all throat and lung
troubles. Ireland's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
The Woman Of It.

Brown-Jones tells me he is going to
support Mckinley this fall.
Mrs. Brownies, that's just like that
good-for-nothing Jones; willing to sup
port a stranger, while his wife has to
take in washing to support the family.
Chicago News.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
The stmon-purs Article.

Percy-Have you ever loved before7
Edith-No, Percy! have often ad-
mired mentor their strength, cour-
age, beauty, intelligence, or something
like that; but with you, Percy, it is all
love-nothing else!-Puck.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
A Good Mans View of It.

A man who threatens a woman Is a
coward, exclaimed the earnest friend.
Well, answered Mr.. Meekton, l don't
know about that. OF course he's a
scoundrel and no gentleman, and he
ought to be arrested. But l shouldn't
lay it down as q rule that he is exactly a
coward Star.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

She-I suppose, senator, you ind
the glare Of publicity very annoying
sometimes?
He-Yes, I frequently become 20
weary of it that l am almost tempted
to run for the vice presidenoy.-Chi-
caRo Times-Herald.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Making Her Happy.

Sunday School Teacher-Have you
made anyone happy this week?
Little Girl-Yes'm. Mrs. Highupp
has a baby, and it's a awful squally,
red-faced little brat; but, wen l met
Mrs. Highupp yesterday, l told her she
had the sweetest, prettiest baby I ever
saw.-N. Y. Herald.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

IT had stomach trouble twenty years
and gave up hope of being cured till I
began to use Kodol Dyspepsia Cure. 1t
has done me SO much good I call the
savior Of my life," writes w. r. Wilkin-
son, Albany, Tenn. 1t digests what you
eat. Ireland's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
The OId System and the New.

but, dad, what do you know about
psychology, and physics and Delsarte?"
And what do you know, my dear boy
about geography, and arithmetic and
spelling ?"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Declares Himself.

"Gracious!" exclaimed the influential
Tagalo, surprised at seeing Aguinaldo
again. what have you come out for?"
Bryan and anti-expansion," briefly
replied the inseurgent chieftain, plung-
ing again into the Jungle.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
IRON NERVE

D1ON1<A1sOCA 11SOkN ENI2xsV"
Was the result Of his splendid health
Indomitable will and tremendous ener-
~ are not found where Stomach. Liver,
Kidneys and Bowels are out Of order.
II you want these qualities and the sue
cess they bring. use DR.. Kings New
Life Pills. They develop every power Of
brain and body. Only 25c at Fischer q
Co. 4 drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
BEWARE OF A COUGH.

A cough is not a disease, but a symp-
tom. Consumption and bronchitis,
which are the most dangerous and fa-
tai diseases, have for their first indica-
ton a persistent cough, and If properly
treated as soon as this cough appears
are easily cured. Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy has proven wonderfully sue
~cessful, and gained its wide reputation
and extensive sale by it's ucces in cur
ing the diseases which cause coughing.
If 1t is not beneficial it will not cost you
a cent. For sale by Ireland's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
The Professors Apology.

Miss Sears-The least thing SYM
pathetic about a play causes the tears to
pour down my cheeks.
The Professor-FOllowing the latest
wrinkle, suppose-that is-eh-I don't
mean wrinkle at all-of course not-fad
that's it--fad is the word.-Harlem
Life.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
a ouestaon of Cordiality.

Mammal was surprised, May, at
your lack of cordiality in greeting Mrs.
Longstay.
Daughter-And I, mamma, was sur
prised at the effusive way in which you
said ~.good-bys."
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Tautalixin9 His Wife.

Some Of the most successful men In
politics, he said thoughtfully, have been
those who have had little to say.
Naturally she was indignant.
There you GO! she exclaimed. Always
doing your best to discourage women.-
Chicago Post.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Loves Rough Cours

"1f you love him and he loves you,"
they urged, why lot marry him in
spite of your fathers objections?"
Papa would not support me if I mar
ried against his Wishes" replied she.
but can not your sweetheart support
you when you are married?"
"He is a poet,'-Detroit Free Press.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Catching a Gudpeon

Blanche-Old Blowitz said he would
marry me if he were twenty years
younger.
Cholly-Twenty years younger? That
would be exactly my age.
Blanche-Oh, Cholly, this is so sud-
den.-TOwn Topics.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
What's a Man to Do?

Confidentially, said the undertaker's
wife, Mr.. Smith hasn't paid the bill for
his wife's funeral yet.
Isn't that scandalous? exclaimed Mrs.
Gabbie. l should think he'd be asham-
ed, to let people see how little he thought
of his wife.
Yes, and his brother John, when his
wife was buried, paid the very next day.
Huh! Feared like he was glad to get
rid of her, didn't it.-Philadelphia
Press.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

She could talk about the classics in a very
knowing way;
She was fine In mathematics and in art
made some display;
She was cultured and accomplished both In
poetry and song,
But whene'er she read a cook Rockwell,
she somehow got 1t wrong:
-WAshington Star,
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
why He Didn't Marry Her.

"Oh, no; I'm not a misogynist," said
the confirmed bachelor, "but there has
been one reason that has always pre-
vented my marrying even the most
charming of women"
"What is that?"
"She wouldn't have ms.s-xown
Topics.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Most Unusual.

Her singing lessons accomplished the
most wonderful results.
What! Did they really enable her to
sing.
No; they convinced her that she
couldn't.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Pathetic Reminder at the Old Home,

1t was his first visit to his old home,
after al absence Of twenty years.
Here" he said, "are my initials and
those of the girl I married cut in the
bark of this old beach tree, and still
plain to be seen after all these years.
How little did / think" he sighed, 9TH
last time I saw these letters that 1
would be married foul times before see
ing them again!"-Chicago Tribune.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

Here is a well-Enown provGrN
Revised to suit, the masses
If you in a stone house dwell,
Refrain from throwing glaseA
Chicago Daily News.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Call Down.

One more kiss, pleaded the departing
lover.
Here! cried her father, who was the
manager of q continuous performance
house, ''your acti Is limited to twenty-five
minutes, and you are already ten minu-
tes overtime!
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

The easiest and most effective method
of purifying the blood and invigorating
the system Is to take DeWitt's Little
Early Risers, the famous little pills for
cleansing the liver and bowels. Ire
lands Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

Farmer-Yes, 1 want a man. Are
you a good jumper?
Applicant-Jumper? Well, yes.
"You could jump a barbed-wire
fence without much trouble, I s'pose?"
"Um-I s'pose So"
"Well that's all right, then; you'll
do. You see, some of our bulls is a
leetle wild."-N. Y. Weekly.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
A MARTYR.

"That's the way" cried the forger, as
sentence of ten years was imposed, "all
of US great writers are compelled to suf-
fer for giving full freedom to our art"
Philadelphia North American.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

II wish they wouldn't all laugh at
whenever l get up to make q few
remarks" said the legislator.
"My dear fellow" returned the wise
man, there is q sure way to stop that"
"HowT
"Try to b humorous."-Chisago
Post.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

J. c. Kennedy, Roanoke, Tenn, says:
II cannot say too much for DeWitt's
Hazel Salve. One box of 1t cured what
the doctors called an incurable ulcer on
my Jaw" Cures piles and all skin dis
eases. Look out for worthless imita-
tons. Ireland's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Qastronomie social Linz

A lady from Queensland interviewed .
house agent with regard to the purchase
Of . house in Kensington. Is TIA desir-
able neighborhood? she asked. Certain.
ly, madam, replied the house agent,
they are, without exception, soup and
fish families.-London Globe.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

WANTED-Christian man or woman to
qualify for permanent position of
trust in your home county; $3.50 yearly.
Inclose self-addressed stamped envel-
p to r. s. Wallace, General Secre-
tary, care Of the New Mexican.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Same Old Story.

First Deaf Mute-We all have our
troubles.
Second Deaf Mute-That's so; / have
to tie my wife's hands so she won't talk
in her Sleep.-Harper'S Bazaar.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Her Preference.

Minister-Now, little girl, you want
to be a Christian, don't you?
Ethel-No, sir: I'd rather sing in the
choir!-Puck.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Embarrassing,

Lobbyist-What did you mean by
refusing to vote on this measured
Congressman-Ihad forgotten which
way you paid me to vote.-N. Y. Jour-
nal.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

Try the new remedy for costiveness,
Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver Tab
let's. Every box guaranteed. Price, rs
cents. For sale by A. C. ireland.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
After suffering from

After suffering from piles for fifteen
years I was cured by using two boxes
of DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve," writes
w. ]. Baxter, North Brook, N. c.. 1t
heals everything. Beware of counter
feits. Lreland's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Not the Same.

II have a unique thing in the book
line" said the poet.
80 l have heard" returned the
cynic. 1.-THE complete first edition Of
your own book, il it ot?"-Harlem
Life.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22
Lamps No Good.

Millicent-Aren't bicycle lamps annoy
ing?
Miriam (vexatiously)-Yes; mine go
out every time | u into anybody!-Tit-
Bits.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-05-22

Snifkins-Why did the young lady
object to being called a poem?
Bifkins-Because poems are meas
ured by feet!-Judy.