The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-08-12
Fun Of the Word.

An old man in Georgia named JACK
Baldwin, having lest his hat in an old
dry well one day, hIIehed a rope 70 a
stump and let himself down 4 wicked
wag named Neal came along just then.
ana, quietly uetaeaing esA tom
Baldw5n's old bird horse, approached
the well, bell il hand, and began TO
ting-a-ing- Jack thought the ola herse
was coming, and said. Hang the old
blind horse; he's coming this way, sure,
and he amt got no more sense than 70
fail in on ne-whca, Billi' The sound
came closer. Great serusslemi Ths
old blind fool Viii De right on top OF
me IN a minit-wnoa, Bl.l-whos, Bill
Neal kicked a little dirt on Jacks hesd.
and Jack began 70 pray: -, Lord, have
mercy on me-whoa, Biil-our Father,
VINO are in-whoa, Bili-haliowed be ms
gee, Bill, Gee. What'a ! do?-name.
Now 1 lay me down 10 sl-gee, Bnl!"
tJust then IN fell more dirp. 20. Lord,
II you ever intend TO DO anything for me
back, Bill. whoat-thy kingdom come
gee, Bill: o, Lord. you know l was
baptized in smiths mill-dam-whoa, BIZ,
no. up. murder, whoa" Neal could hold
in no longer, and shouted a laugh which
might have been heard TWO miles, which
WAS about as far as Jack chased him
when he got out
zg &c
Some Paisley weavers were speaking
about their ministers. One said that L
was wonderful how much his ministee
could bring out OF Scripture. de had
known him 10 preach several sermons
from one text. Another said his MINIS
ter surpassed that, for he had preached
six sermons from the shortest Text IN
the whole Bible.
ssT2trt That's y1aarnfvs 70 r1rffa Sef, i
the third. She's been preachin' to me
for sixteen years frae nae text at g."
< Z < <
Sir William Bailey, the head OF the
Albion works, az Stafford. told this story
the other day; "A certain Manchester
merchant saw a mummy in Egypt and
brought away portion Of the mummy
cloth. This was handed TO a buyer Of
a large Manchester warehouse, who was
asked If he could tell where it was
woven. After examining it carefully
with his glass. he said ne thought ne
could put his finger on the mill where Il
was produced if he could borrow The
piece for a few days. Afterward he re-
ported that it was made where he had
thought, near Oldham, and was called
by the manufacturer his mo. s..
X
Major Ben Russell. being met one day
by his old friend, Busby. ne was famil-
iarly saluted with a hearty handshake
and How do you do, cid Ben Russell?"
Come, now" said Major Ben, IN not
take that from you-not a Bit IF Il; you
are as old as I am this minute"
Upon my word said lir. Busby.
you are my senior BY at least zen
years.
Not at all. friend Busby, and. if you
please, we will determine that quest on
very soon. Just tell me what is the
first thing you can recoHect"
We'll the very first thing I recoIlect."
said Mr.. Busby, was hearing people
say: There goes old Ben RusseiI!'
x zg
An amusing story has been going the
round of the parliamentary lobby. says
the London Telegraph. Sir Ughtre1 Kay
Shuttleworth was recently presiding over
a private bill committee, when the pr
ceedings were suddenly interrupted by q
crashing peal Of thunder which shook
the room. The chairman promptly ut
tered stern and reproving ORDER or
deri"-the first occasion, probably upon
which the powers that be above have
been called to order by the powers that
be- below. What is more. the call to
order was obeyed for there was no repe-
tllAo1 Oh the ClSiuTDduCe-
x x X z
A Scottish prison chaplain. recently ap-
pointed, entered one of the cells on bis
first round Of inspection and with much
pomposity thus addressed the prisoner
who occupied II: well. my man, do You
know who / amp no, nor ! dinna
eareP was the nonehalas reply. "well
I'm your new chaplain "Ch. We are7
Then I hae heard O ye beforer' And
what did you hear?" returned the chap
lain, his curiosity getting the better Of
his dignity. Wei, / heard that the last
iva kinks we were in we preached them
bath empty; but ye wilma find II SUCH
an easy matter to do the same WI IN 3
one"
x < x q
If this story. for which Fred Wealth
erby's sponsor. isn't true, IL ought 10 be,
for he tells It as II Il was. II happened
during his recent visit TO French Lick
Springs. The first day Fred got IN be
had a confidential talk With the waiter
who served him his first meal az the
hotel. Here, Sam said Fred. Il Ike
10 be waited on Just so. Now, II you
stick 10 me all week and bring things
just as I order them and see that every
thing goes all right, ! will Ak II with
you at the end of the week"
The waiter promised and made good.
All during the week Fred had the best
OF service. and when Saturday night
came he gave the faithful waiter s. AZ
a reward for his trouble When Fred
came down for breakfast SUNDAY morn
ing his regular waiter was rot on hand
Fred kicked on this. but the 6usky sen
tiemaR IN attendance responded:
Oats all right sab. Dere an smith
reasons why Dat uizger
amt allowed 70 wait on dis hero table.
Reckon you all better try me. sahf"
Fred concluded 20 make fhs hest -
bad bargain. and came T. tire zane
a greenenf with the new man as he "a
wit \ the first one While the NV man
was away getting his order Fred LOOKED
about and perceived the Old waiter hud-
lied up IN the corner looking IS n ne
had swallowed a box ~ tscks Pre- ~sY-
"a him over ard aTsef Why 10 could
not wait at that particular tahle any
more The waiter ia not want 20 rafk
AZ first but finally gave The following
explanation:
''Yo gee. sab. when vcu at wf1 no asf
A. two d0Iiahs 7 }es' nachuaii~ hns -
bus loose and shoot cranr wif g. ps
uck ] has wuz scsnlouk. san and der.
ICONS des cleaned me cut IA d. fine
Den ! say. Goodbye, glmneu. Tso
Z Eine.'
'HoI on sez dat ar cross. sFeI I'm
shats wsttia' on you. Is yoa br9ks
ssEgsh7
I is." SER 7
Den. III shoe; ron foh 90 Gust ornsr.'
.zys be
''AH' shot you akin two-s.os san
md jim Re uin so
=
The author = The Red badge ..
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ppearance and Urls once made hirs. arc
,eT3 - IN amusing fncf5ent y ha--rr- /
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