The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-09-09
VALUE OF A FIFTY-DOLLAR BILL.
Credit and Good Things lowered on the Man
who Couidnt Break One.

IVY 1872 '-
~ he came into the club and sat down In an
easy chair, wait till you hear my new comedy
Are you going to read it?- asked some one
tentatively.
mo; I'll tell It to you. 1t wont take five
minutes. All the acts are short"
Something like a sigh Of relief was heard.
The curtain rises on the first act, disclosing
n lady giving me q fifty dollar bill"
Whether It was caused by astonishment or
disbelief or, perhaps, both, certain 1t Is that an
exclamation akin to "Phew." came from the
crowd.
Yes; I'll explain. A vaudeville actress,
with n generous angel behind her, gave me a
commission to write a sketch. and 10 my de-
light accepted my terms. which were so ON
acceptance and $50 on production. | read the
sketch Ia her last Saturday. She was pleased.
aud planked down the first installment on the
spot. | put the bill In my pocketbook. That
night with the 81 | had In change | enjoyed a
glorious dinner and a good seat at the theatre.
Then | went home and slept the sleep Of the
satisfied. That act | have headed "Auticipa-
ton" for you can't conceive what | didn't
expect to do with that $50"
Yes. that act must have been especially
pleasing to YOU" said some one. Il suppose
you lost the bill. after ALL
Nothing 50 common A. that" continued the
playwright. FOR Act II. di~covers me AZ break
fast on SUNDAY morning with the bill still safe
I'm my possession. After working an hour or
two | determined 10 treat myself 10 a princely
repa-t, and with that purpose took II car 10
l25th street | live IN the Eighties, you kuow.
After regaliug myself with all sorts of deli
cacip-, which | washed down with q bottle Of
wine. I lit n cigar and called for the bill II
amounted 10 sllQ ] Threw %" hflI dollar
used to such tritles, and the waiter went for
change Presently he returned Win the man
niger. The latter was most polite aud apollo
eetic. lie wa extremely sorry, but they werr
quit" unable TO change q oil OF that large
amount at that moment. Had not .omething
knew perfectly we'll that hadn't a cent be-
sides. and ! told him so. There WIS n pause,
while he looked me up and down, aud then.
thinking 10 ailay my perturbation. which va
more apparent than real, said You needn't
worry. -ir. ANY time viii do, vii you please
give me your name and address, | handed
him my card, and he bowed me out Of the res
tauraut.
/ confess I was half amused and half fright
ened and didn't know whether 10 look on that
ffty-dOllar bill n a bugaboo or not. However.
I determined to have another try and. II rrC"s-
sarv. hftv more tries to change it, then
walked into a cigar store, called for two cigars.
biz the end of one. lit II and threw the bill on
the counter. The face Of the man behind the
counter when he examined the bill va- q
study. He looked AT me and then AZ the bill
again and said abruGily ] cant change, that
saw me nufing the cigar had lust taken M and
said Well let II go. i suppose you'll be passing
hy here again soon | assured him ! would
/ felt now as if a cordial would not bc out "
place, 80 with the laud1bla Intention Of drinking
n creme de mcuthe and making another ATTEMPT
10 get nv bill changed strolled into a hotel
on Seventh avenue. met the same fate here.
for. though / had the drink | craved for | still
possessed the bill intact and was under a further
/ his creme de menthe tasted distinctly
mOrc-ish ] tried another AZ a saloon In Eighth
avenue, which swallowed before tcudering
payment, Again did ] find my credit good
though you perceive. never asked ono" to be
a. the two cordials seemed to satisfy mo
] was struck with z sudden NJ Of generoslly.
was handy and ~ my people were 10y the sea-
shore ! thought, to send mL sister a larR" box
candies and ordered the box To- be- sent 10 a
hotel AZ Atlantic city. waited till IN" package
va done np tnd after wrl,l'E the addrr,S
didn't know wh"ther Ia Smll" or 10 cry, but
II ended M in the same sweet way. | was TO
pal when ! passed thai way again.
by this time ] was beginning 10 he the least
bit sick Of this hll business, especially a. a
horrid idea struck me that the bin might be a
bad one, in which case ! realized my summary
finish. ! reassured myself. however, n is
genuinencss must have been tested. for II had
passed through a good many hands. Deter.
the bill from my thoughts ] walked down Eighth
avenue thinking of "A new plot which had
that ! inadvertently hailed a car, got ON II and
never considered for a moment my position
until the conductor came ROUND Tor inc larp~,
/ stared AZ him blankly and then said meekly,
I'm have TO get of. I've only got n hfty-dOllar
bill The man stopped the car, and asl stepped
down he y%iCiously rang the bell twice and said
mmeS
suppose any sane person would have now
given up the game a. useless. ] didn't. for |
was pretty nearly insane, and ! was more than
ever determined to change that bin, Another
bold face on. explain the matter and ask them
to do their best for me. did. lwent straight
ssRRo'MR s rPRa im he biilA ana afIar eir to S bUy n dooiiISHr's;
worth Of anything in the house II he would
change IL, He smiled and satd he was quite
help me on my way If I needed il. | sank my
pride and asked for the loan Of five cents for
a car fare. He handed me a quarter In
pul-ively | offered To treat him to a drink. lie
declined with thanks, telling me he would
accept when ! returned the loan,
Red in the face and out of temper | boarded
smoking savagely. The conductor must have
noticed my demeanor, for. he y%entured To ask
that II seemed absolutely impossible TO get a
hfty-dollar bill changed in this confounded city
on Sunday. / had no sooner made this remark
than a curious looking, undersi2ed colOred man,
whom I had not noticed before, but who was
standing also outside, interrupted hlandly with,
I think | can accommodate you' And I'm
blest II he didn't pull out n roll Of bills big
enough to choke a goat and count out four tens,
apologi2lng at the same time that he had no
smaller change, Despite his color ! could have
embraced him, but, as the car had now reached
my street. | simply thanked him efusively and
almost ran home. That act ! dub Realization
You can count on your fingers how many things
! realized that sunday on the credit Of my face"
Suppose you found the darky's bills were
forgeries?" hazarded one Of his listeners.
Not on your life. They. one and all. were
as good as gold. Act No. III. wont be so inter
estine to- you, perhaps. but you'l find IL ~instruc-
tive. and may help you further u digest that
good old proverb, Honesty is the best policy
] got up early the next morning and went up TO
l25th street again. ! saw the manager Of the
restaurant and paid my bill. He was delighted
and insisted on treating me. The cigar man
nearly had a TT and was generosity itself with
n present OF a good cigar. The Seventh avenue
hotel man thanked me, the saloon keeper added
another drink 10 what ! had already had, the
candy man asked me 10 take a sample of some
extra fine comfits. and the manager Of the
Eighth avenue hotel declined to accept the 2j
cents. but contrarywise added to the gcnerosities
] had received In the restaurant and saloon.
The denouement came when | CHANGED TO
meet the little colored oddly on Eighth avenue
walking with a tall. finely dressed white woman.
I raised my hat, and. when he had passed. 1
pointed him out TO a policeman.
yes, said the mar In blue. he's n character.
Kind OF body servant. Been In the family for
years. Heaps Of money
That's all, but II that comedy hasn't got
money In II may ] never write another line"
Farmer staTord's Cold-Air Spring.