davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26
FUN, FICTION AND
A FEW
FARCICAL FACTS,

ne was too young to understand
the nature of an oath. The Judge
looked at the lad kindly, and then
called him to the bench.
. my boy he said, with his
most impressive judicial manner,
''do you understand the meaning
and the solemnity of an oath?"
'Yeth, SIR" replied the lad, who
lisped; Il caddied for you at the
golf links lasth Thunday.''- Chi
cago Record.
"One-half of the people of this
world would knock the other half
down, and laugh while they were
doing it" said the man on the rear
platform of the Car.
'You haven't any grounds
whatever for such a pessimistic
remark, said the argumentative
Individual. "What makes Won
think SOP"
Because [ used to stick nv
head through hole in a canvas
and let people try to bang base
balls at me for 5 cents a bang
came the answer. 81 know a few
things about this beautiful broth
erly love, I guess Indianapolis
Sun.
Here is an antique, warranted
handmade, given me last week in
New York by Tom Reed: An
lrishman was hanging over the
rail of Coney island boat. There
were others hanging over the rail,
also. An officer Of the boat stand
ing near Pat sought to console
him, or divert him, or something
like that, and to open conversation
the officer said to Pat:
my friend, your stomach seems
a trif1e weak
And Pat turned to the officer in
a scrappy mood and replied:
"Ho! no! So me stummick is
wake, is it? Well, bedad, [ think
if you watch me minut, you'll
see I'm trowin' as far as any of
Thin The Philistine.
whats your name, young
man?" inquired an employer of an
for post as office boy.
Revelations, SIR was the reply.
Funny name, that. Whose in
SEPARATION was Revelations?"
well, it was like this" said the
boy. "My eldest brothers were
triplets, and they were christened
Mark and Luke, so
father thought he'd better stick to
the New Testament, and when I
was born they'd got through it,
'Were you the last, then?'
''Last but one, sir; they went to
the Old Testament for the baby,
and called him Numbers. -
London Spare Moments.
The badgering lawyer sometimes
succeeds only in affording the
witness an opportunity to show off
his own wit at the lawyers ex-
pense. And then the spectators
are happy.
A certain actor was before the
poor debtors court in New York,
asst winter, and testified that his
only assets we're his salary as a
Of the Blank Company.
"But you must have something
slse," said the prosecuting coun-
sel. "Tell the court what else you
nave"
'That's ALL"
"What- personal property?"
ooh yes, a dog-and watch"
"Now think hard. What else?''
persisted the attorney, believing
le was on the right track.
"And a case of rheumatism
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

The report comes from Canton, Ohio, that some
of the trust magnates visiting that place wear dia-
monds that shine like headlight on a locomotive.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26
n 0 7 lie &.

ALL PERSONS receiving copies of THE MIRROR who
not regular lists Will please consider
sample copies If. after reading, you conclude
THE MIRROR worthy patronage your
this office a Al ties
published
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

WHEN attempting to do others an injury be care
full that you don't place yourself in position that
will enable them to retaliate with overwhelming
force.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

BERLIN astronomer says that the signs in the
heavens all point toward war. It is very evident
that the professor hasn't been reading the papers
lately.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

IT IS very evident that the Chinese Minister
WI, at Washington, is young goslin in matters
of diplomacy It is almost as hard to get informa-
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

THIS is the time of year when the Lord uses a
little of lis spare time in watching the funny antics
of the average editor when he dishes up his political
news.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

AS USUAL the crooks and pickpocket artists will
keep in touch with the Republican bandwagon this
year. They seem to know where to find rich pick
ings.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

We should never place our ideals
too high, for even patience has it's
limits.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

CONTRADICTION is sometimes the means by which
greater achievements are performed
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

If FRIENDS were kept as easily as their acquaint
ance are made, the courts would do less business.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

ton from him as it is to make toothpicks out of
piece of gas pipe.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

In RUSHING up to the Chinese pie counter it
appears that the powers are getting nothing but
"jars"
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

WITHOUT the guiding hand of discretion, man.
kind would cease to be reckoned as civilized
beings.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

SHOULDN'T wonder but what Chinese detectives
slow and sleepy fellows, still they lack for
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

aged objects newspaper encourage
public prisoner;
Information and to aid dspeln prejudice which
dependent the public for its financial time
should of funds the would
interests of the prison library.
NOTICE.
ALL PERSONS receiving copies of THE MIRROR r
not regular lists Will please consider
sample copies. IT, after reading. you conclude
THE MIRROR is worthy of patronage send your
name to this office for a trial subscription
published above.
CONTRADICTION is sometimes the means by which
greater achievements are performed.
If FRIENDS we're kept as easily as their acquaint
ance are made, the courts would do less business
SHOULDN'T wonder but what Chinese detectives
are slow and sleepy fellows still they lack for
queue.
WITHOUT the guiding hand of discretion, man
kind would to be reckoned as civilized
beings.
In RUSHING up to the Chinese pie counter, it
appears that the powers are getting nothing but
"jars"
A MAN OF intelligence always possesses discern
ment enough to know that reason in argument is
far better weapon than clustering ridicule.
PERSEVERANCE in all things accomplishes mate
rial results, but when concentrated upon single
task, the word impossible becomes misnomer
A REsoLUTE will is what enables one to stand
firm and unainchingly, while others swept hther
and thither by the whrligig of an irresolute mind
DEPENDING upon others to get lift toward the
pinnacle of fame is like erecting staging around
lot and then wait for to do the building.
The report comes from Canton, Ohio, that some
Of the trust magnates visiting that place wear dia
monds that shine like headlight on locomotive
WHEN attempting to do others injury be care
full that you don't place yourself in position that
will enable them to retaliate with overwhelming
force
This is the time of year when the Lord uses
little of lis spare time in watching the funny antics
of the average editor when he dishes up his political
news
A BERLIN astronomer says that the signs in the
heavens all point toward 1t is very evident
that the professor hasn't been reading the papers
lately.
AS USUAL the crooks and pickpocket artists will
keep in touch with the Republican bandwagon this
year. They seem to know where to find rich pick
ings
WILLIE AsToR is contemplating again visit
ing America. He shouldn't forget his overcoat as
New York society is liable to give him another seri-
GUS frost.
IT LOOKS though the American mule will
soon disappear. entirely Several shipments have
already been made to China, and if another war
should break out they would be thing of the past
Some of our Republican exchanges are trying
to find out who nominated for governor at the
recent Republican state convention. It does appear
as though they keeping things rather quiet
along that line
IT very evident that the Chinese Minister
WI, at Washington, is young goslin in matters
of diplomacy. It is almost hard to get informa-
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1900-07-26

An eminent judge sat upon the
bench one day hearing a case in
which boy about 10 years old
was called as a witness. One of
the lawyers objected to the intro
duction of his testimony because
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-06-12

There many who have faith in the state
mcnt that MUNYON'S DYSPEPSIA CURE will
81, "dily relieve any form Of indigestion stom
ach trouble. Yet thousands will tell you that 1t
has cured them. Why not you: Try 1t. You will
BE- convinced.
There are many who incredul"us to the
claims made for MUNYON'S RHEUMATISM
few hours and generally effects before
one vial is used Yet this famous remedy has
been hailed blessing by thousands upon thou
sands all this land II has cured them
Why not you: Try fl. You will he convinced.
There are many who skeptical I" the
merits If MUNYON'S KIDNEY CURE. Yet Prof
Muuyon has on file 30.6Fr testimonials from those
1t has cured. Why not you: Try it. You will
b. convinced.
Thousands ready and eager to tell the world
Just what Munyon has done for them. Just what
he DO for you.
Each Of the Munyon's Remedies Is positive
Cure for particular disease-they are not
'cure ais Any drug store sells them mostly
al - cents. Munyon's Inhaler is now the uni
versal treatment for Catarrh, bronchitis and most
diseases Of the head nose, throat and lungs
The Hard rubber Inhaler is unhreakabe and IN
sIillatle. and can be carried in the vest pocket
Price 81 Including 80 cents worth Of medicines
Prof Munycn. 1863 Arch street, Philadelphia. Pa.
ind his skilled specialists upon all diseases VIII
a.vise ypn promptly 10y mail.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-06-12

Arthur Chains, through Attorneys Wolf
& Rosenberg, has filed suit for divorce
against Annie s. Chains. The parties were
married in August, 1892, and have two chill
dren Because of the conduct of his wife.
Mr. Chains says, he has been compelled to
place the children in an orphan asylum.
InfideIity on the part of the respondent Is
alleged.
BY a decree signed by Justice Hagner, in
Equity Court No. l, Jennie NJ Meals has
been granted divorce from William H.
Meals on the ground of desertion. The GUS
tody of the child of the couple is awarded
to the mother. who is also given permission
to resume her maiden name-Young.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-06-12
STRANGER UNDER SUSPICION.
Believed to Have Evil DesiSns-His
sanity Questioned.
S,,o of The EYeniny Star

special Correspondence of The Evening Star.
LAUREL, Nd. June ~, 1900.
Mr. James Scaggs, one of the police Off
GERS of this town, yesterday afternoon
shortly after / o'clock arrested man who
was found to be acting suspiciously about
the railroad tracks at Oak Crest, small
town about a mile and half from this
place. on the Baltimore and Ohio road
He was first noticed on a rather lonely
portion Of the road and where but few
trains are compelled to stop. He was seen
by some colored persons. who say he was
trying to remove some of the nuts from the
bolts where the rails are joined and fail
ing to loosen them stood at a distance and
hurled large stones at the rails. Informa-
ton was telephoned to the town authori-
ties and Mr.. Scaggs Immediately went to
the scene and succeeded in getting his
man.
1t is thought he n the same party who
the night of the nth Instant placed the
Instructions on the. tracks near the sta
ton at this place: When he was searched
a. the Jail large amount Of Balti-
more and Ohio stamped paper was found
in his pockets. ascwere also about two
pounds of wire with some tags attached
similar to the kind used IN sealing the cars.
name Charles c. Blake. was written, and
the authorities are of the opinion that is
his name. He is supposed to have come
from Baltimore. From his peculiar man.
ner there is some doubt as to his sanity.
This morning he was taken to Marlboro,
where his trial will soon take place.
Extensive Improvements are being made
at the Laurel cotton mills. located in this
town, and when the work is completed the
mills will be able to run the year round
Prior to this time they were run by a
combined water and steam system. but
owing to the low water in the Patuxent
at this point during the very warm weather
they were obliged to shut down, thereby
throwing out of employment between five
hundred and a thousand persons. With
the large addition to the engine room now
being made the plant can be run without
the aid of the water power. The improve
ments represent an outlay Of about $40, 1000
These mills DO a large amount Of govern
ment work.
The base ball team of the Laurel High
School gave an ice cream and strawberry
festival at the Academy of Music here last
night, the proceeds Of which will be de-
voted to the purchase Of uniforms.
Mrs. T. Watts Byerly has returned home
after visit to friends in Washington
Mr.. and Mrs. F. A. Clark have returned
to their home, "Woodcroft." They were
visiting friends In Washington.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-06-12

ley. and In default of payment of a fine of
so Judge kfmball committed him to Jail
for thirty days.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-06-12

The Secretary of State has issued his
warrant for the surrender to the Belgian
authorities Of Auguste Vande Wehe, now
held under arrest in Paterson, N. j., on
charges of attempted murder and burglary
in Belgium.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-06-12
TRY GRAlN-og TRY GRADM-0V

Ask your Grocer today to show you a package Of
GRAIN-O. the new food drink that takes the place
Of coffee. The children may drink it without In
Jury a. we'll as the adult All who try 1t like It.
GRAIS-O has that rich seal brown OF Mocha or
lava. but it 10 made from pure grains, and the
most delicate stomach receives 1t without Distress
4 the price Of coffee. 10 and rs cts Per packaEe.
Bold By all grocetA
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-06-12
Assaulted His Wife.

Richard Beasley of Lambs alley south
west was today convicted in the Police
Court of assaulting his wife, Matte Beas-
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-23

The management Of the New Mexico
penitentiary was never before SO eff
cient and humane as at present. 1t is
conducted on up-to-date business prin-
ciples, which mean dollars and cents for
the benefit of the territory. Modern
ideas and energy characterize every de-
partment at the institution, and Super
intendent Bursum has demonstrated III
less than a year that he Is the right man
In the right place, who has brought the
standard Of New Mexico's penal insti-
tuition above that Of Colorado and many
other states or territories. The peniten-
tiary is not a kindergarten nor a place
for quiet, healthful retreat, but it's aim
Is to teach law-breakers a wholesome
discipline, to inculcate in them hab-
it's of industry and cleanliness, at the
least cost to the territory. The treat
ment Of the prisoners is humane and
kind, yet firm and uncompromising to
the persistent evil doer. The convicts
have no snap of it at the territory's ex-
pense, but nevertheless their stay In
the p~enitentiary should be beneficial to
them physically and morally, and this
is what the aim of every penal institu-
ton should be.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-23
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
AT Law.

GEO. W. KNAEBEL,
ONCE In Griffin Block. Collection and
searching titles q speciality.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-23
DIVERSIFIED INDUSTRIES.
A Colorado Man Gives Good Advice to New
Mexico Farmers,
Durango Democracy

Denocrat,)
Capt. c. E. Dudley returned from San
Juan county, N. NJ, yesterday, and Is
not pleased as to the outlook for fruit,
as he fears the season is too far adj
vanced, and the buds are swollen and
bursting to an extent that renders
freezing nights and late frosts fatal to
very fine lands and orchards, but AK
pressed surprise that so little attention
was paid to growing corn and hogs, or
grain and chickens; says the corn yield
has been equal to fifty bushels or five or
six fat hogs per acre, yet those people
allow their meats and lard to be ship
ped to thai section, as we'll as this and
others that are tributary. There Is no
section offering more fertile lands or va
rious agricultural inducements than can
be found in San Juan county, N, NJ, but
with the uncertainty of a fruit crop that
industry should really be viewed in the
light of a by-product, secondary con-
sideration. Why should we ship cured
meats, lard and corn-fed beef from the
east? Why express butter. chickens and
eggs from Kansas and Nebraska? Why
should a section enjoying every facility
for independence be dependent? Indus
try and intelligence in cultivation and
disposition of products will make our
New Mexico %neighbors prosperous.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-23

Sheriff r. S. Hubbell, unaided, this
week arrested nine Indians including
the vice-governor of Santa Ana for in
terfering with the men digging a ditch
across their lands. The Indians were
in war paint humor and threatened to
scalp any n who t%respassed on their
lands, which had been paid for by the
ditch builders. They. however, meekly
followed the sheriff to the bastile at AL
buquerque, and proved to the world that
they are like a modern prize-fghter, all
blow but no blows.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-23
Permanence Of Mineral Wealth.

Mining papers are of late discussing
the question: do mining camps wear
out?" Some of them pointing to the
apparently worn out camps of Nevada
and in other states answer in the affirm
alive, while others say that a mining
camp never wear u They point to
the revival Of SO called dead camps in
proof of their assertion. 1t is assumed
that robbing a vein of the mineral 1t
contains leaves it forever afterward
barren. Still in some Of the older sill
yer mines in Peru evidences have been
found of standardization of the walls
Of the vein from which the original ore
deposit was stripped 300 years ago or
more.
But aside of this assertion of mineral
growth, a mining camp Is very seldom
worn out. Apparently there is a limit
to the vein working as there is to the
washing Of an auriferous gravel bank;
but the limit is seldom ever reached.
The mines of Cornwall, for instance,
were worked before the Christian era
and have been worked steadily for al
most 5000 years, and still yield an enor
nous profit to their owners The OPP
per mines Of Great Britain, the gold
mines Of South Africa are similar ex-
amples Of mines that we're worked
thousands of year ago.
Many mining camps on the Pacific
coast once considered dead have come
into life again and with promise t. be
endowed with a permanent existence.
Many Of the camps which rose and fell
with the discovery and exhaustion Of
their shallow placers have been given
new and permanent life through the
development Of mining which
in earlier times they were not suspected
OF possessing. Agricultural regions
become out and sterile. but
history fails to show a single mineral
district that has ever become COM
exhausted.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-23

At three of the leading cities in Ken
lucky a movement has been started to
redeem the state of its bloody reputa-
ton. 1t is to be a non-partisan move,
and the work for the present is being
done with more or less secrecy. Ken
lucky is one of the best states in the
Union, and the great majority of it's cit
liens are peaceful and law-abiding. 1t
is merely a handful of disturbers who
have been in the Democratic political
saddle for years that have given Ken
lucky it's unrest and bad reputation. A
combined effort on the part of decent
citizens Of Old Kentucky should wipe
that disturbing element out Of power,
and If necessary from Kentucky or off
the earth.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-23
THE CALIFORNIA LIMITED,

The California Limited which u
four times a week has Pullmans, dining
car, Buffet smoking car with Barber
Shop, Observation car with ladies'
parlor), vestibuled and electric lighted
throughout. A solid train between Oh :
cago and Los Angeles. Same service
eastbound.
MEXICO & CALIFORNIA
LINE
Nos. / and II carry through Pullman
and tourist sleepers between Chicago,
Los Angeles and San Francisco.
No. Q, e%astbound, carries same equip
ment, and makes close connection at
Trinidad with train for Pueblo, Colorado
Springs and Denver.
No. % is q local train between Ell Paso
and Kansas CITY, carries free chair car
and Pullman Palace sleeper through
without change.
For time tables, information and 1T
e.ature pertaining to the Santa Fe
route, call on or address,
b. s. LuTz, Agent,
Santa Fe, N. M.
w. J. Black, G. P. A.,
Topeka. Kas.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-23

Now it is a new railroad for Las
Cruces. 1t is to extend from Roswell to
Deming, and from there to the Pacific
coast In Mexico. 1t Is the same project
that has from time to time connected
the Pecos Valley railway with an ex-
tension Of the Rock Island & Pacific
or the Frisco railroad. Sooner or later
q railroad will cross the southeastern
part Of the territory in an east to west
direction. and 1t is to be hoped that the
Roswell-Las Cruces railroad which is
now spoken Of as a certainty really will
become such, for it will do great work
for Chaves, Lincoln, Otero. and Dona
Ana counties.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-23

There Is not as much money in the
publishing business as there was at one
time. Competition has cut down the
margin of profit so low that it takes
skillful f1nanciering to show a balance
on the right side of the ledger at the
end of a year in managing a large pub
fishing firm. The recent failure of Har-
per Bros. was followed yesterday by the
appointment of a receiver for Appleton
& Co., n of the best known publish
ing firms in the world. Competition may
be the life of trade, but 1t is also often
the death Of business.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-23

The present session of congress,
though it deals with momentous ques-
tons, does not cause a ripple of excite
ment in the business world. 1t was
quite different during the last Demo-
cratic administration, when the country
was in a constant panic for fear that
some fool legislation would be passed
and enforced that would bring bank
ruptcy and ruin to many enterprises.
The business world has the utmost con
fdence in the Republican congress, and
the Republican administration, which
are the surest guarantees of continued
prosperity.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-23

Great Britain intends to take a step
in the right direction. After the next
general election it may give all the col
onies representation in parliament. This
will result In a mighty British fedora
ton. which for many years will be proof
against the attack of any other power
In the world. 1t will be taking a step
ahead of the United States, which does
not grant territories full representation
in congress, much less to colonies like
Porto Rico or the Philippines.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-23
VALLEY { NORTHEASTERN RY
Central Ttme)

Central Ttme)
Train No. s leaves Pecos daily at $3.50
p. m. Arrives at Carlsbad at 7:45 p. m.
Train No. / leaves Carlsbad at $40
a. m. Arrives at Roswell at $3.50 a. m;
Amarillo Q p. m, connecting with the
A., T. & s. F. and the Colorado and
Southern.
Train No. 2 leaves Amarillo daily at
5:25 p. m. Arrives at Roswell at 3:45 p.
M; Carlsbad at 1880 p. m.
Train No. 6 leaves Carlsbad at Z a. m.
Arrives at Pecos at 11:05 a. m.
Train No. 3 (mixed), daily except
Sunday, leaves Portales at Z a. m. Ar.
rives at Amarillo at 4:40 p. m.
Train No. 4 (mixed), daily excep.
Sunday, leaves Amarillo at 9 a. m. Ar
rives at Portales at $40 p. m.
Stages for Lincoln, White Oak and
Nogal, N. NJ, leave Roswell, N M,
daily except Sunday at 2 a. m.
For low rates, for information regard
ing the Of this valley, prices
Of lands, etc, address
D. Il. NICHOLS
General Manager,
Roswell, N. n.
e. W. MART1NDELL,
Ger. FRI and Pass Agent,
Amarillo, Tex. and Roswell, n. n.