Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-02-04

that seven hundred Thousand volum
Of 4 book Of his. entitled What Knol
About Farming. should be voted II
the relief OF the starving sufferers TIL
was done and farming implements an
seeds were supplied: and then the MN
lions OF wretched outcasts made ar
effort to till the ground or the resu,
Of this viii speak further on.
In the meantime the President was
doing infinite harm to the country in
another way. His handwriting was
SO .fearfully and so wonderfully bad
that no living man could read It. And
so when he selt his first annual mess
sage to Congress-the document was
devoted wholly TO the tariff and to E
agriculture sentence appeared
which subsequently, was ascertained
to be, Large cultivation Of rutabagas .
and beans is the only hope OF the
American nation ! am sure. The
| printer not being able TO interpret
this. put 1t in the following form.
IN which 1t went forth to the world
the Car of Russia couldn't keep cleaz
If he washed himself with the who'll
Atlantic Ocean once day This per
version Of the message was imme
diately telegraphed TO Russia by th2
/ Russian minister, and the Car was j
indignant that he Immediately decia
ed war Just at this time Preside
| Greeley undertook to write some letters
| Prince Bismark on the subject Of pots
! rot and. after giving his similar views
| great length. he concluded with the sta
ment that II the Emperor William
| that subsoil blowing was not good
light soil, or that guano was batter Il
bonedust he was a liar. a william ans
saver or course the Emperor also
mediately declared war. and became
ally of Russia and OF England, aga
+, which latter country Mr.. Greeley nad
tually begun hostilities already. bee
| the Queen In her speech from the til
had declared the Tribune's advocacy
tariff on pig iron incendfary. and cal
| ted 10 disturb the peace OF nations.
| happily, this was not the fun measu
1
the Emperor of Austria copy d
| What Know etc, with his auto
upon q ny-leaf. The Emperor mistoo
signature for a caricature Of the Aus
| eagle, and he readily Joined In the
against the United States; while
| was provoked TO the same act by Oh
that. when the French Minister G.
call upon Mr.. Greeley TO present hi
dentials, the President. who was "
| an editorialat the time. not conlpas
ing the French language. mistook IN
| bassador for a beggar, and, withou
| ing up. handed him a quarter
| order for a clean shirt and said
Go West, young mango West!
80 all these nations Joined in
war upon the United States. They
ed down upon our coasts and land
out opposition, Cor those portion
unhappy country were absolutely
The President was afraid to cail y
lrmy from Kansas at first. q
outraged people upon the
come E&st in spite Of
he aid summon the
natl tho foreigTt9 nadN
and all the country east o.
:, dig the President. the Cabi
member OF Congress- The arm
In alarm. and tho invaders y
west. where they found thy
dying OF starvation because TIM
lowed the advice OF Greeley't
Try, for your first crop, 20
and don't plant more than q
quicklime in a fsil!' or courss
wretched people sssre at the mere
enemy. who-to his credit be II sal
ed them kindly. fed them and
them back 10 their old homes
what followed--how Prince
William OF Prussia assembled the
throne. and the other humiiiaticu
sued. 1t was fearful blow 70 Z
ism-a blow from which L WA
cover. 1t made US who 40
nation Of slaves"
$3.50
=, IS much 10 bekf-arad tina,
is an apprenticeN hand az prd
Poor Greeley dtsd OF . broken
cause he was not made Preside
But It's mighty funny all the
adelphia Times.