The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-09-08
HOT THMHLHS.
Observation-Disclosures

The atmosphere of South Africa is
full of unanswered Boer prayers.
Let it be understood that no nan is
a shirtwaist man who wears his braces
in full view.
The question now is, will the newly
established starch trust stitfen the
family bosom:
The Democrats of North Carolina
do not call it the bloody shirt. Just
now it is only ''red."
The weeds have been cut and the
snakes and other reptiles which have
been lowering in our very midst have
been forced TO seek refuge in the sub
urbs.
The shirtwaist man has struck the
Cape and the question has arisen,
shall they be banished from society?
Nay, nay, be lenient with those who
deserve sympathy.
According to Bryan's theory that we
cannot secure title to a people by
force or by purchase, we must have
acquired Louisiana and Texas in a
Christmas stocking.
The principal plea of the Democrats
in some portions of this State is that
the tax rate is low. Heaven knows it
ought to be low considering the kind
of government we get.
Fashion notes say that attenuated
hose are to be just the thing for wom-
en- next winter. Why not? If men
persist in appropriating the shirt
waist in hot weather, why shouldn't
women tie on to socks when its cold?
The Gazette says that we have put
in a gas engine. That BOBBY is n
again talking through his hat. Had
we any use for gas We would have
made an effort to secure his services
as he has an unlimited supply of the
above mentioned article.
A Kentucky preacher accepted a
challenge to fight a duel, and chose
potatoes as the weapons, distance,
twenty hills. He v%anquished his en-
envy at the very first round. The leg
islature of that state should immedi-
ately pass a bill legalizing the use of
the potato in all duels.
A Trenton man a fined s75 and
given six months in Jail last week for
whipping his wife. On the witness
stand the woman alluded to his brutal
treatment as punishment" She
said that the last whipping was adj
ministered because she refused to
clean a road wagon so he could go to
a church dedication the next day and
sing in the choir, and was the hard
est whipping that he had eve given
her.
At a Democratic Convention held
in the northern part of the State the
other day one Democrat asked Of
anothe: ''Haye you two guns with
you?" No, l have only one" replied
the man who a appealed to for au
extra weapon. WELL" said the dis
appointed citizen, Il have mine all
right, but my bro.her-in-law forgot
his" He then proceeded to look up
who had been 50 thought
full as to bring two reviewers to the
Man is a queer creature and to an
alize him i, a task that would require
the patience of Job. Ordinarily this
saying is a true one, but our expert
ence as regards the editor OF the Ga
zette has proven to the contrary.
Those hysterical ~utterances which so
frequently slip into the columns of
that paper has fully convinced US that
that wonderful mind (!) is laboring
under a strain. aye, and such a strain
that it bears evidence of a collapse.
Perhaps he would do more good to
christianity and civilization if he
should vxmose from this fair cline
and enter into journalism among the
poor heather of India.