The Norfolk weekly news. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1888-1900, 1900-03-15
Mr.. EP|ZOOT VILLAINS,
lie Announces the "Diskuvcry nv
Moo Is.oo Fer the Next Cnmpnnc."
n, More wives For the sultan Of
SuIu
BURo wv INFERMAsnUN,
WAsInNGToN, ID. G..


Tu the EditLr
These headquarters hcz got sum star
Ting infcrmashun IN let loose fer the |
benefit NV the DimlcratlC party, and II |
" nothn less than the prccipitatin NV |
n moo lssoo intu the cumin campnnc |
wich ort tu sidctrack sum Nv the old |
ones we hcv bin onsucccssfully mon
kcyln with. The November clccshuns
showed thct we hcv bin barkin UP sew
cral wrong trees doorin the past yccr
and cnnything thct will distract publlk
attcnshun frum sich performances Is
wuth cnkurrijcn and ndoptin. 1t wuz
with this idcc In view thct | hcv In
dooccd our Dimicratic mnnijcrs tn cx-
ploar all the plans thct hcv bin sub
mittcd tn EN-, and tn ransack their
crnnlums tn find sum real, live and cx-
citin issoo tn put bcfonr the kountry
In place NV those wich an obtroosivc
and onscroopulus Republican majority
slaughtered ut the November hog KILN.
Our STATESMEN hcv he'd noomcrous
consultnshuns ontu the subjcck. and
the most Nv us hcv cum III the con
clooshun thct 1t wood be best tn spring
sum moo pcrltlinl racket thct wood
not hcv tn mutch pedigree behind 1t
fer the Republicans tn pick at. Here
tuforc we hcv bin bothered with hevin
record upon most publik qucstyuns
wich wuz tn rank, and scared ava the
raw rccroots wen tha begun tn over
haul II. am afrade we hev made
the same mistaik in hitchin up with
Aguinaldoo, in bubble harness, and re-
joicin over the defects and delays Nv
the Fillipecno campanc. In order tn
avoid sch snags In the future we hcv
agreed tn introdoocc an intirely moo
and rcdhot issoO thct hain't bin hauled
thru prcvius campanes and bccum wa
tcrloggcd hi tn mutch dlscusshun. We
hev decided tn overhaul the sultan NV
Sulu fer hcvin tn mcnny wives and
tn put the CRATE Republican party NV
this kountry ontu the defensv fer ne
goshiatin freely thet wood permit
slch an onholy and immoral stait wv
affairs. We kin stand poligamy In
Utah all rite, and kin Civ Mr.. Roberts
nil the boostin we dare tu, on the sly,
fer he liz troo bloc Dimicrat, and
wood du the saim fer emmy Nv the rest
Nv us If we wuz in the saim fix, but tu
| hcv sum far ava niger ontu an island
| In the Pacific ocean, thet no Dimicrat
| knu wuZ abuv water ontil this Onprin-
siplcd and corrupt Republican admin
istrashun captured It, live In n stait NV
polignmy. with no cloze on but n plug
hat, liz an outrage agin konstitooshunal
liberty thet no good Dimicrnt kin up
hold or tolerate.
Ez notis NV our intenshuns tn on
doc this CRATE net NV injustice. we hev
he'd Mr.. Williams Nv Mississippi in
trodoocc an opium joint rcsoooshun
intu the house NV representatives call
in fer an lnvcstigashun Nv the subjecll
in order tn find out WHARF we air 'at,
and git bill NV particulars. II we
find. upon inquirin around, thct the
| sultan hc2 got moar wives than he kin
Handle, or moar than he IL entitled tn.
we must find sum wa tn redooce hiz
basis Nv rcprescntashun without doln
tn mutch tn iniure hiZ feelins. We kin
not afford I'll be tn hedStrong in deelin
with sich matters on account NV fu
llkinS air likely tn favcr sum compre
henSiv plans Nv anneXashun fer the
furrn territory wich we hev laitly ac
Qured, and tina mite conclood to hitcl
on Sulu. In sich n case eZ thet the sui
tan mite cut sumthin Nv tiggcr ez al
onclothcd Mormon in an AmerikiI
stait or territory. If the Republicans
hev not corrupted him most likely ht
wood rename n Mormon, and Woo
, naturally drift tn support Nv the Dimi
cratic party. In view Nv sich possi
bility it wood be onwise tn harrcr III
hiz feelins tn mutch at the prescn
time. but he kin be cOnfidcnshally tolt
thet the harrcrin Is only intended fe
l effeckt In this kountry and tn be use,
, eZ capital agin the Republican party
He must be made tn understand hov
necessary 1t IL fer the Dimicrats tn on
, load sum NV the dead issoos tina he
I bin chained tn. and how reddy tina al
I tn snap at ennything thet affords ell
\ an oppertoonty III du it. Wen he on
a derstands the sltooashun | feel conf
a dent he will approve Of 1t with all hi
a hart and sole. and enter enthoosas
v tically intu the plans we air perfect
y tn give him roast in our next can
n pane.
a In the mecntime our nooZepapers an
A stump speakers will jine hands wit
4 our congressman in denouncn polls
= amy, and particularly thet part Nv
% thet IL bein engineered by the sulta
II NV Sulu. Tha will pitch intu the pre-
A ident fer allowin hiz representative
~ conclood freely with sich disrepo,
"a table scoundrel ez the sultan, and wi
insist upon KNOWN how menny wiy'
he hez. and whut tina ware If tina wal
ennything at all. We must insist, to
40 upon the abrogashun NV thet part L
10 the freely wich allows the sultan
IN hev a dozen wives wen n Dimicrat
rs CONGRESSMAN amt allowed tn hev thr,
20 without sumbuddy maxim a CRATE fu
ld about it. Besides. whut ashooran'
X hev we thet whole lot Nv Dimicra
ny won't emigate tn Sulu, and go in
az wholesale housekeepn, If sich an o