Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-02-13
SPINNING WHEEL.


) SPINNING WHEEL. 5
TOM AND PET.
Our queen wears a glorious crown, and
gorgeous robes OF state
Pet:
Dom Paul wears a shocking bad nat, and
garments of ancient date"
Our queen has a golden scepter. On her
empire the sun never sets.
Pet:
Dom Paul has pipe for symbol. He
rules whatever he gets.
Tom:
Our queen has hosts of foot and horse, IN
khadi, and red and blue
Piet:
Dom Paul has an army Of farming men,
in miscellaneous hue"
When Tom sticks Pet with his bay net, or
Piet plugs Tom with a ball,
Tommy hurrahs for his queen, and Pieter
cheers loud for Dom Paul.
Pet helps Tom when he's wounded, prays
Ger his grave when he's dead.
When Pet is down Tom lends 2 hand, and
joins when his service is read.
No rage or hate 'twixt Pet and Tom. The
But sorroWing kin, on either side, mourn
father and brother and son.
Fighting for empire, or fatherlard, neither
guilty of wrong,
Poor Tom and PET for slaughter meet
How long, o Lord, how long:"
Our queen cannot be blamed for this. She
always hated war"
Dom Paul kept peace long as he could.
He never thirsted for gore"
Who brought us here in battle array?
Who forced us to mangle and Stay?
We wonder and fight. Let historians tell
Who should get billets on Judgment Day
For quarters in deepest hell"'
George Crouch in New York Sun.
A devoted Cleveland uncle took his
very small nephew out in the country one
bright day not long ago, and his friend,
the farmer. suggested he should go out
and hunt for eggs, relates the Plain
Dealer. OF course the small neph-
ew went along. The uncle knew
where to 60 and, though he is fat and
scant of breath, managed to gather 4
number from all sorts Of hiding places.
Presently he stopped and picked up
bantam's egg. The small nephew saw it.
Put it back, unk," he shrieked, don't
90 see Eat one ism ripe yet.
To-
Did you ever ask a flagman a question
about some other subject than one CON
nected with the railroad? The fagman,
who always smokes pipe, will set his
teeth hard on the stem, will look up the
road, then down the road then up the
road again. He will not look at you
For two full minutes he will not give
any indication that he has heard Your
question or that you are III existence. He
viii then look up the road and down
the road again. This time he may take
his pipe from n his mouth, but he will not
lock at you. He will work the tobacco
down into his pipe with his forefnger
and look up the road again. Still he will
not look at you. He begins. however, to
give faint sign that he has heard your
question. A minute later, looking down
the track, he may ask you to repeat your
question. You want to know where John
Brown lives. He looks up the read again, |
takes several strong pulls On the pipe
and gaZes long and earnestly down the
road. He has not as yet looked at you.
"Phat Brown is it?' the iagman may
then ask.
John Brown
It's Jerry Brown you want:'
No John
rs he wild the Big Four?"
No
Still the 1agman continues to look up
the road and down the road. He takes
his pipe from his mouth, never locking
1T you. never giving 4 sign that YOU are
in existence, and says: If he isn't wild
the Big Four how the divil should l
know him?'-Indianapois News.
The old man was sleeping soundly, al
though the morning sun was we'll up in
the sky.
Cit up dar, LAS said the old wom-
an, giving him vigorous shake.
The old man raised himself in bed,
rubbed his eyes, then, jumping to the
floor, began to fail his wife with the
broomstick.
Don't ak mew he exclaimed, excited
", ''ain't | done tot you, time and ergin,
never ter wake me wen | dreamin' er
ey!"-Atlanta Constitution.
The Scots Of Topeka. Kas, gave them
selves dinner on January %, the ami
versary of the birth of Robert Burns,
and this is the bill of fare that they
tackled:
FIRST COORsE.
Tay Saumon wi Butter Broo,
Finnan Haddies
Buckles and T1impets.
yellow Fush frae Aberdeen wi reekit
faces
SECOND COORSE.
Scotch Collops frae Hielant Nowte,
Stewed Paitricks wi Paddock Stues.
Great Chieftain" fair fau your honest
sonsy face.
THIRD COORSE.
Sleeps Held wi slowed Tatties,
Stuffed Bubbly Jock roasted.
Mealy Puddins an Sweeps GravatS.
A Beers" snout stewed an stewed
Soos Shout
Tatties peel, daub and eat.
Tatties Champit
Bash cd Neepes an SoorickS.
Maybe q wee DonaP.
FOURTH COORSE.
Tripe in daubs wac sole your ShoOn.
Dramuch and Soor Dock.
Thin enough to droon rattens in.
FIFTH COORSE.
A cup o. Lipton's half-a-croon.
Tairts o. hairy grozets an apl,cIs.
Tremlin John" an a Wheea ither ORA
things
G'asca Tupenny Pies an Shortbread
Partan Pies an whangs o kebbuck.
Curny Bannocks an Scenes.
Golfers Jeely an Sweeties-
Maybe bid Donal's tae keep a doom.
Were playing railroad train,' she
sa;5 hn nI,lIa1 bar fo1 1ap'C Manor