The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1900-02-08
!, Mr.. JObSOn on Rabies

y
muzzling agitation Mr.. Jobson
was opposed TO it. 1t should be said.
ir passing, that Mr.. Jobson belongs to
that exceedingly large class of house
hclders who begin by bitterly resent
ing all new local ordinances, only to
wind up by shouting the praises OF the
same from the housetops.
"Huh!" said Mr.. Jobson to Mrs. job
son when he first read of the move
ment TO make the muzzling of dogs
compulsory in the district. Now it's
suggested that all of our pups and
dogs shall have their heads jammed
into traps! What do you think of such
balderdash as"
81 understand that it is a movement
tending to protect the public" ven
tured Mrs. Jobson. st seems there
have been so many mad dogs that"
"Oh. you believe in the scheme, then,
Mrs. Jobson. ! see," cut in Mr.. job
son. well, / might ha' known that,
seeing that I think it's the rankest
imbecility ever beard Of Mad dogs,
you say, Mrs. Jobson? Let me tell
you something: If there were half as
many mad dogs running around loose,
swapping and snarling, as there are
mad human beings, this earth would
be hcwling bedlam and unfit to live
in within just ten days! All this talk
about the millions and octillions of
mad dogs that're rearing and roaring
around, trying to get bite at"
"But, as | understand it," mildly
suggested Mrs. Jobson. ''it is simply a
measure of precauton. taken to pre-
vent the spread of rabies"
"There you're at it again. Mrs. job
som" said MIR. Jobson. throwing down
his paper and jumping up and stamp
ing around. There you go canting
on another one of those subjects that
| you know just as much about as l know
about Turkestan Rabies! Madame,
will you be good enough to devote
about four minutes of your valuable
time to lucid. graphic. terse ex-
| PLANTATION. for my low, common, be-
n:ghted benefit. of what the rabies is ?
Is il like mayonnaise dressing, or does
il resemble in its general outlines that
|
Christmas Is it peculiar to North
American dogs alone, or can the COM
mon, domestic. house jaguar of Hon
duras get it and gloat over it? Is it
served cold with hard sauce or is II
fetched in. piping hot, with cheap
cooking brandy flaming over the top
OF it? Did you learn all about rabies
at the same time that you picked up
Honi1on lace work, or did you get
your wealth of information about II
! from"
"Why, it's simply what I've read
about the disease that" began Mrs
Jobson.
"Oh, it's what you've read about it.
is it?" SAID Mr.. Jobson. well, II
you're going to embark in the bust.
ness of believing everything you read
Mrs. Jobson. you'll be so inflated after
awhile that you'll go right up into the
air without pinions! You'll be believ'
ing about those frogs that hop out OF
solid pieces of coal. weighing 6,9S5.4s
pounds. said pieces of coal having
formed themselves about s1,275 years
ago"
"But thought that rabies was just
as well-defned a disease in dogs as
"As pneumonia. or the measles, o,
the mumps. in the human species. eh ?
interrupted Mr.. Jobson. "Well, JUS
to Sc; you right in that matter, II
inform you that there's no such thing
as rahies-that rabies only exists il
| ~, % lo& 80 60 Ia,
that all scientific men of reputation
simply grin from ear to ear when the,
read these newspaper accounts of dog
bitten human beings shuddering ant
frothing at the mouth-that the rabies
is among MS to about the same exten
as the dodo, the jubjub bird and th'
iabberwork. Rabies is a bogie man
with which to scare infants in arms
but as for"
"What ails the creatures, then, whel
they begin to growl and"
"What ails 'em!" bawled Mr.. Jobson
Madame. there were times in my life
long before met you, when was hun
CRY and cold-starved and freezing
and | want to tell you that did
| "hoiS hSup Va 6io"ihS III. SSii' Jus
because lot of poor, neglected, kicked
around stray dogs happen to be try
ing the best they know how to picl
up precarious living in this commu
nifty, and because one or two Of 'en
have become so sore and wrought u]
over the situation that they've givel
audible manifestations to their senti
ments In the premises. a lot Of long
haired scientific, or alleged scientific
crankh bob up and claim that the who'll
population Of the District of Colum
bia is in danger Of determination from
mad dogs! I'll tell you"
Just then Mr.. Jobson's next-doo
neighbor dropped In for talk abou
the bill for pensioning civil employs
and Mr.. Jobson turned to him.
Look here, Robson" he said, "wba
do you think of this confounded dog
muzzling proposition, anyhow? In
agin IL from away back, and that TO:
terrier of mine is going to run aroun'
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