The Saint Paul globe., 1900-03-25
I@e5e Sam>s BIe@ BeZp.
The Official Blue Book Full of
Oddities and Incongruities. .....

~~~~~~~~N~~~r~~~~-~~O~~~o~rS
who had such hard time, but nothing as
compared to what some of the govern
| ment employees think they have, has only
| che survivor, and he is superintendent
| of construction at Portland, Or AS this
Lazarus receives $1,000 per year 1t is sup
| posed that he manages to get along a lit
| tie easier than the Lazarus of old. Many
! OF the Bible people or characters are rep
| resented-John. Paul, Saul Job, Joshua,
| SanueH, Daniel Amos, Haggai, Timothy,
| Titus, Peter, Jude, Solomon and others.
| There is one Jesus, a farmer In the In
| dian service at the Shoshone agency,
! Wyoming.
IN THE INDIAN SERVICE.
And a look at the hired help of Uncle
Sam In the Indian service discloses such
names as No Ears, No Eyes, No Wood.
No Blood, No Meat, No Powder, No
Knife No Gun. No Dog, No Girl, No Boy.
Ir!r Iron Thunder. Iron People, Iron .Cat,
Kicking Horse, Kicking Deer, Kicking
Man, Kicking Star, Kicking Coat. Kick
| ing Woman, Kicking Nigger, Little Foot,
Little Eyes, Two Strings, Two Bows,
Two, Dogs, Two Fires, Two Medicines,
Black Bull, Black Dick, Black Eagle.
Black Black Woman. Black Horse Black White
Man, Black Elk, Black Moon, Black Star,
Big Belly, Big Name, Big Horse, Big
indian. Ind an Big Mouth, Big Ear. Big Gun.
Bear Woman, Bald Eagle, Beautiful
Bald Eagle Take the Hat, Take the Gun,
Take the Dog, Take the Deer, Take the
His Horse, Was Going to Move But
Didn't. Bear Long Whiskers. Spotted
Tail Horse, Drops at Distance, Horse
Cloak. Fire, Arm. Fire Wolf, Fire Eater,
First Raised, First One, Fish Cuts
Woman, Good Child, Good Gun, Good
Dog.
In the line of musical instruments I'm
Gle Sam has an organ, but no plano;
a fiddler but no fiddle; a fife and several
hfers; harps and harpers, horns and horn
blowers, one flute, but no flutist drums
and drummers, a cornet without a cor
netist, one either, one Lutte, bugles and
bell by the dozen, with only one bell
ringer.
There are two pews for thirty churches
and temples, but there are number of
parsons, priests, elders, popes and min
listers. While there are no dollars nor
dimes there are six pennys and a number
of nickels, with a. heavy piece of silver
as United States commissioner at Buff
falo, N. Y. This Is the only silver in
the list. There is one oiler, but no OIL
Bed does not appear. but there are two
pillows, three quilts, seven comforts
three sheets, and one bolster. Eighteen
savages are in the employ of Uncle Sam
and they have guns, knives. forks, ra-
zorS, pistols, cannons, dirkS, to keep them
company. There are nine doolittles and
hundreds of others who try to do less.
Three come right out and claim to be
shirks. and twenty-six rush-to get the
paymaster twice each month.
ONLY ONE KICK.
Only one Kick graces the pay rolls. and
she is laundress in the Indian service.
You can find those who are Fair Fail
ing, FORWARD. Fast, Fleet Frank Bright,
Broadhead. Broadbent.. Sage. Quick, Po-
Early. Earnest. Docile; Shy, Sitters.
Smart. Spruce, Sour. .Stin. Sterling. Stern,
Surrounded. Stuck. Allwise, AloVer An
gels. Bricks, Bone, Blessings. Bliss, Blows.
Blunt, Blue, Brown, Beck, Bakers, Bap--
let, Severe, Sections, Sharp, Shepherds,
Shoemakers, Toys, Virgins, Valentines,
Vs5t Wifty EMfitOrs Mibors Wards WarrtSrs Wig
Merry, Midgets. Masons. Lambs, Kids.
Lively, Lemons, Loud. L.ooney, Loving,
Lucky, Green and one who Murders
Only one Star is to be found, but there
are dozen or more Moons, two Suns
and one Sunday and several Fridays
March. May and June are, the, only
! two Norths, five Easts and a number of
Vests Out of the entire list there does
not appear but one Sponge, who is
private on the Indian police. 1t Is the
opinion of the average Italian fruit Vend-
er that a majority of all police officers
are Sponges. There are seven SoIomons
and as many times that many hundreds
who think they are. Mr.. Snow has com
pany in Frost, Freeze, BLIZZARD, Ice and
Hail.
One fellow named Hot takes comfort In
the fact that there others who are Warm,
J Tepid, Burns. BiisterS and Melts Damn
| Is not pretty name, but it is better than
Damall and Goldammer, while the fellow
| who goes around as a living Lie, rejoices
| that there is another who is known as
| Liebig.