The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09

Satisfaction. i am SdllSned That / boss
the earth. even TO the mountains and
rivers thereof. but I'm not exactly clear
as 10 the sun, moon, and stars Don't
they come under my rule as well?"
"Dost not remember. o mighty ruler,
| that your title is Abound the Mighty, boss
Of the earth and owner of all the Planets
above? Your humble slave assures you
| that the sun, moon, and every star will
hustle 10 dc your bidding"
Thanks. Remshen. / must be a daisy
for sure. Not being clear on the subject
l haven't given much attention TO celes-
| tial matters. but now 1 think I'll give
them whirl If a Teller is going 10 be
| boss at all he might as well be boss on
| wheels"
THAT Is true, o akound, and when you
get ready to command the moon to come
off her perch will issue proclamation and
gather the people,
| Old Remshen was fawning sycophant
on skates. He had a good thing and
| wanted 70 keep it. He had said the same
| fulsome words to his master a hundred
/ times over but nothing had come OF Il
| except TO make his position more solid.
\ day or two after the above conversation
| and while he was going around the palace
with a mOlasses grin on his face the bell
| jingled. and he was called into the pres
/ Ell &c OF his master.
| by the way, Remshen, do you remem-
| Der our little conversation the other day?'
queried the akound.
| Can q slave forget his master
words?" asked Remshen as he lifted his
hands in protest.
| I've been thinking. I'm a heap Of a
Teller, and you know II, and / know 1t,
| but there may be a man or two on the
| outside who differs with Us. ! want TO do
| something big TO knock 'em all out"
"Will IL please thee to behead a thou
sand men,"
| well. yes IL would but as IL Is Just
| about tax time we'd better leave their
! heads on their shoulders until they have
| paid in the sugar. / think I'll go for the
moon, Remshen. She'll be full tonight.
and I'll order her to come down 10 earth 3"
But On ruler. she might be damaged
in the FALL" protested Remshen, beginning
to quake with fear.
"Tll look out for that. Well spread a
feather bed for her to light on. Just issue
proclamation for the people TO gather on
the east side of my palace at 10 o'clock
tonight
The moon, oh ruler, is sometimes OBJ
| stinate," suggested Remshen as he felt a
pain She has even been known 10 dis
obey mighty pOtentates."
But she'll tumble for me, or I'll know
the reason whyl Is IL not in my title that
am owner of all the planets above?
Get along. old boy. and issue that procla-
| nation. When my subjects discover that
/ can wallop Old Luna around al viii,
there'll be no more kicking about high
/ taxes"
Old Remshen was boxed up and
| couldn't say another word He went
away and issued his proclamation and
| then beseeehed the grave of his father,
/ the bones OF his mother and his lucky
stars 10 send q dark night 10 knock the
| experiment on the head He was look
| ing bilious when night came and the
| old York state cheese arose In all her
/ glory. Everybody in town was out. and
| the odds were five 10 one that the akound
would win. At the hour named he ap-
| peared on the steps OF his palace and
/ lifted his hands ard cried out for the
moon 10 take drop. II was a dead fail
/ ure. He cried out again and again. but
/ the moon continued her gait
| "Remshen." said the boss OF earth
when he realized that he was knocked
/ out" dismiss the populaee and come with
| me"
| tongues In their cheeks, ard when the
| akound had reached his library he said:
How is this, Remshen? Why didn't
| the moon come DOWN.
| 20 ruler" replied the old sycophAnf
rs his heart tunked his ribs" there is a
| difference between theory and fact"
| II see. Theoretically I am owner of
the planets. Practically ] am an ass
| ought to have got on 10 this. but being
| so busy IL never occurred 10 me. Rem
| shen. old boy, come out In the back yard
| with me.
"Tn going TO give another illusfra-
1 ,ioE OF theory versus fact. theoretically
| you are my grand secretary and one OF
| the most eminent men In the kingdom
| As a matter OF fact you are head
/ shorter, and your bones will go 10 enrich
my gscseberTy bushes"