Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1900-10-05
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enough. h.'-lndianapolis Journal.
They say Miss Singleton is a trans
migrationist." Yes! She thinks she
must once have been the wicked flea
whom no man pursueth!''-Life.
Fair Painter-I hope you don't mind
my sketching in your field? Farmer
Lord, no, missile! You keep the birds
off the peas better'n a ordinary scare
crow.-Tit-Bits
CRATER must have turned over n
new leaf. He tells me he's working
night and day" Yes, that's the firm
he's with now" "Whatr' "Knight 81
Observation-Disclosures Press.
HoaX-I understand the doctor said
yesterday that there was very little
hope in your rich uncle's case. Joax-
It's even worse to-day. He's very much
Observation-Disclosures Record.
Shocking: They say the young man
Melissa Perkins is goin' to marry is Il
reg'lar paragon Land sakes! Do
tell! thought he was clerk in gro
cery."-Chicago Times Herald.
What do you suppose makes your
baby sister cry SOP asked a visitor Of
small Johnny. Il guess it must be
cause she is hatchin' her teeth" re-
piled the youthful Chicago
News.
What makes you think he is man
of little tact?" He Joined Don't
Worry Club the second day after he
was married. and didn't know enough
to keep it secret"-Chicago Times
Herald.
School Teacher-What little boy can
tell me where is the home of the swal-
low? Bobby kin, please. School
Teacher-Well, Bobby? Bobby-Tbe
home of the swallow is the stummick.
Tit Bits.
Doctor-What you need Is change
and rest Patient can't afford it.
My incomes pretty well requisitioned
already. My children get all the change,
and my wife gets the rest.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Georgy ton the warpath)-Say, Eddy,
did Harry hit you? Eddy--No. Georgy
Did Jimmy hit you? Eddy-Nope.
Georgy-Well. If nobody hasn't hit you
l will. I've got to lick some, one.-Chi-
cago News.
All that He Asked Miss Lulu Flan-
nigan-I will give yez my answer in Il
month, Pat. He-That'S right, me dar-
lint; tex plinty nv time to think it over.
But tell me wan thing now-will it be
yes or noT'-Judge.
Old Lady pointing to elevated rail
roadl-Where do them ears 90 to? City
Man Almost anywhere you
want ma'am. Old Lady-Land sakes!
l thought they had to stay on the rails.
New York Weekly.
Fuddy-They have deal to say
about the brotherhood of man." and
yet wars and rumors of wars continue.
Duddy-That's all right. There always
has been more or less fighting in fam
llies.-Boston Transcript
wealthy Mr.. Millyuns. How on earth
did she manage to land him, | wonder?
Jess-She's musical, you know, and so
it's no trouble ut all for her to catch an
her.-Philadelphi Press.
Proud Parent-If you call in the even
ing you probably will hear my daugh-
ter singing. ArtleSs Friend-Oh, I
sha'n't mind that. You ought to hear
the fellow down our way practicing on
the cornet. 1t is simply awful,-Boston
Transcript
"NIy boy" said the first proud papa,
"has a bad habit of interupting me
when I'm talking. Your boy isn't old
enough for that yet" NO" replied
the other, my boy contents himself
with interrupting me when I'm sleep
ing. g."-Philadelphi Press.
I'VE got up another crowd and ran
away from those people We camped
out with last year" Did they dis
cover it?' Huh! When we arrived
at the ground we found they had made
up another crowd and had run away
| from s."-IndianapoliS Journal.
| Ratios of Travel: mike" said Plod-
ding Pete, do you believe in dis six
/ teen to one?" Sometimes | do" an
swered Meandering Mike, ian some
times | don't. 1t depends on whether
its sixteen meals to one mile or six
teen miles to one meal. Washington
! Star.
Mrs. Moveabout-Yes, like that
house you sent me to see. 1t will be
much cooler for the summer, but the
dining-room is only half as large as this
one. Mr.. Moveabout-So much the bet
ter. 1t will only be possible for half as
many flies to get into it.-Philadelphia