The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1900-07-05
HADES
Bob Ingersoll Writes a Communica-
ton from Sheol.

Bob Ingersoll Writes a Communica-
ton from Sheol.
Banks of the Styk, Sheol, Aug. 81
will endeavor to write you the letter
promised you before leaving New York.
Sam Jones told the truth, for just as
predicted, and expected, | am in Hades.
Came straight through without stop.
am sitting on hot cinder writing this
letter on a piece of slate gouged out of
the ceiling with my trident. A ''tri-
dent" you know is one of those funny
little pitchforks that Neptune used to
carry at the seaside. Everybody has
one and it makes a fellow think he is at
a populist convention.
/ While | was on earth didn't believe
in hell, for | had travelled in Kansas and
didn't think there could be two places
so much alike. But hadn't been here
but half a day till believed it whole
lot. 1t is much more realistic and gen
mne than | anticipated, but l think |
will like it when | get accimated. Just
now my feet are blistered from walking
on the hot pavements and am dab
bling them in the Styx to cool them. /
was talking to Moses while ago and he
says they will soon get calloused and
| then III be all hunkador. He has read
my mistakes of Moses" and laughingly
admitted that he made good many
when he was new to the business. He
is joyial old cuss and | rather like
him. He told me on the dead-e very
thing is son the dead here"-that he
didn't write the Pentateuch, but knew
who did.
Col. Dick Wiley, of Enid, wrote me
some time ago lnquiring about this place
and what chances there would be for
speculation There is plenty of Tue
roasted spec here, but not much ula-
ton. Brann, the Iconoclast man, being
considered only a partial bad man has a
good cool job over in the clearing cut
ting brush for rooster No. 1868 ,42S.
There are lots Of people down here
and strangers arrive daily. But | would
not advise you to come down until tall
or winter and even then you needn't
bring anything but light summer suit
or skates, but you might bring along
pan leaf fan or two, for an imaginary
mythical, tigurative categorical, unortho
doX" is about the hottest one ever got
into.
But say! got here just in time to
strike a snap. Henry Ward Beechel
had just retired on account of old ag,
and Mephistnpheles appointed me to
succeed him as boss of the New York
coony-the largest one here, | have
a lovely new trident with cute little
spear point business on the tines, and
the devil has promised to get me long
red tail and u pair of horses like his
when he goes to the city next woek.
Horace Greedy introduced me to Spur
geop and old Peter Cartwright last
night and we had very pleasant little
lark together. They expect Talmage
to join them before long. | have also
shaken hands with Tom Paine and Vol
taire and find them very pleasant gem
tlemen. Said they had watched nv
career for some time and said they had
expected me daily. Ben Franklin called
on me this morning. He is wearing his
hair short now and does not look so
much like Queen l4lioukalani as he used
to, | could not tell their pictures
apart.
OF course the trust is here bigger than
a chipnlunk. Solomon and Brigham
Young have married all the women,
and the politicians are organizing to de-
feat the present ADMINISTRATION and
elect new devil. They want me to
make the nominating speech. You
know nominated Blaine for president
once and did it up in shape. l aen't
know who VII .1acaas;;;si1u.,,,a ,.ai;;s -
Gould is runh - :
money, and ssz| [!zl5l
are quite popul
| wish you w
l would like to
about me. / SUI
lot Of my gid letter. 6oue
pictures Of ME to start fogue gallery
anld-%ater Drained spiritualists will com
lnune with my spirit and tell all sort
>Yof things. wish the whole dod rotte
pack were down here; then they woul
not feel so alfred gay.
We must close. We need rain til
. worst kind; crops are almost failure
: Ii you are ever down this way, drop il
Yours truly,
Boz INGERsoLL.
J Z. S.-A soda fountain would pay bi
down here.