Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1900-03-03
FOR SATURDAY SADNESS
BY DlOGENES.

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To try a verbal or practical joke or
! one destitute OF a sense of humor
is like stubbing ones great toe against
granite block.
Like the weighs of grocer, the ways
OF man in authority ought to be
equal.
Hawaii could better spare the money
than the public improvements for
which the Legislature made appropria-
tons two years ago but which are still
not in existence. Taxes unexpended
in the treasury, when the peoples rep
resentatives have ordered them ex-
pended, represent SO much money
swindled out of the taxpayers. If a
man of property went to far country,
leaving instructions to his agent to
build him house against his return,
and came back after due time to find
no house built, he wouldn't bounce that
agent don't think!
Rats as quickly become wary of fell
purposes toward them as the biped
malihini becomes of banana peel on
the sidewalks.
A man trying to keep up appearan-
ces by drawing checks on a bank where
he has no funds is not more shiftless
than Honolulu proves itself to be by
depending for Its street lighting upon
water from empty reservoirs.
Ciron fo n,oe olta, no.o, lisa .a.S.s
times the rule works backward. Cases
in court never fail to alter the parties
circumstances.
Automobiles are superior to hacks
drawn by horses, in that they can turn
corner without grazing the curb
stone. Some hack drivers can do the
trick occasionally, 1t is true, when a
bicyclist to run over gives them an in
centive for making wider detour.
Some of the old spelling book pro-
verbs are becoming ambiguous in these
days. For instance, strike while the
iron is hot" means differently as 1t is
the mandate of the foreman or the
mounting Of the walking delegate.
The diminution Of plague cases to
the vanishing point Is not really the
supreme object to be pursued at the
present juncture. 1t is a consumma-
ton that, however devouIiy wished, is
after all but lesser boon embraced by
a greater. Sanitation, the most thor
ough In kind and comprehensive In
representation comprehending every
foot of ground in the city plot-will
not merely attain that immediate pur-
pose, but prevent other visitations of
pestilence which might be far more
calamitous than the present one.
II the Hawaiian bill come forth in
such substance that, without making
jarring discord in the welkin, II may
be read aloud with the Declaration Of
Independence to the Hawaiian people,
it will be all right.
However far wrong the sailors of the
lnverness-shire may have gone, nobody
OF conscience and heart can fail to
sympathize with them In their present
suffering. Leave those who have never
slipped up in discretion or conduct to
fout these men with their misery.
They without forethought articled
themselves for a voyage of indefinite
continuance and found 1t too long for
their endurance. Therefore risking
all they forfeited most of the wages nf
what their captain acknowledged had
been, up to the breaking point, good
and faithful services. 1t is not weak
sentimentalism, but a high order of
cnarity, to feel sorry for the woes IF
brother men even when they have
brought these upon themselves. The
bestower of sympathy is often 30 indis-
criminate and lavish with the article
as to do more injury than benefit to
the recipients. Yet in this as in
thousand other well-meaning impulses,
the right occasion comes with tie OPP
portunity Of helping fellow-man to
bear the penalty of past mistakes and
to avoid mourning Its repetition.