davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01

An old family darky was being
hauled over the Goals for scratching the
portrait Of his past master with stifr
whisk broom.
Marcus" said one of the family, Sc
verely, what ever prompted you to do
that mischief?"
Pardon me, sah," responded the Of
fender, "Ah jes cudn't help 1t. When
All caught sight OBJ all dot dust ON OIL
marse's coat, All jes had to rush up en-
brush it off. All felt as dough OIL marse
wud rap me wild his cane IL All didn't"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
A Prize Thought.

A.teacher of music in one Of the pub
lie schools Of the South desired to Inn
press the pupils with the meaning of
the signs ''f'' and "ff'' in q song they
were about to sing. After explaining
that "f" meant forte, he said: "Now,
children, IL If" means forte what does
'ff' meant"
Silence reigned for a moment and
then he was astonished to hear a bright
little fellow shout:
"Eightyw-New Lippincott.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Valuable Onyx Mine.

Spokane, May 40. M. Rosendale,
q mining engineer of Portland. tells Of
the onyx quarry, about SO miles north
of here, in Stevens county. Two steam
drills and saw mill are at work min
ing and cutting the onyx, which is the
finest of it's kind IN this country. 1t
takes high polish and the colors are
rich green and black. The deposit is
about 800 by 1000 feet and the saw
mill is fitted with huge gang saws for
cutting the mineral slabs. This Stew
ems county onyx will rival that of the
old world.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Germs.

Doctor, wonder If I'm not getting
old?"
"Quite possibly. The bacillus Of old
age is very prevalent this spring.
Detroit Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Portland Market

Wheat - Walla Walla. 51@ 52c;
Valley, 52c; Bluestem, 54c per bushel.
Flour-Best grades, $500; graham,
$2. so; superfne, $2.10 per barrel.
Oats-Choice white, SEC; choice
gray, 33c per bushel.
Barley-Feed barley, $14@l4.5O;
brewing, $16.OO@16.5O per ton.
Millstuffs-Bran, $13 per ton; mid.
dlings, $19; shorts, SIS; chop, $l4 per
ton.
Hay-Timothy, $9@1l; clover, $40
7.5O; Oregon wild hay, $6@7 per ton.
-Butter-Fancy creamery, 30@35c;
seconds, 45c; dairy, 25@3Oc;
store, 224 case.
Eggs-13c per dozen.
Oregon full cream, 13c;
Young America, lac; new cheese 1Oc
per pound.
Poultry-Chickens, mixed, $4,000
4.50 per dozen; hens, $500; springs,
$2.50@3. SO; geese, Sc. 6.50@s.OO for old;
$4.50@6.5O; ducks, $6.00@7.O0 per
dozen; turkeys, live, 14@15c per
pound.
Potatoes-4O@65c per sack; sweets,
2@2Ae per pouno.
Vegetables-Beets, 81; turnips, 75c;
per sack; garlic, &c per pound;- cab
bage, 10 per pound; parsnips, 70;
onions, Sc per pound; carrots, soc.
Hops-2@ac per pound
Wool-Yalley, 12@13c per pound;
Eastern Oregon, 1O@15c; mohair. 27@
soc per pound.
Mutton-Gross, best sheep, wethers
and ewes, $40; dressed mutton, TO
INC per pound; lambs, $40.
Hogs-Gross, choice heavy, $500;
light and feeders, $3.50; dressed,
$5.00@6.50 per 100 pounds.
Beef-Gross, top steers, $4,000. so;
cows, $3.5O@4.OO; dressed beef, 6H @
7Ac per pound.
yeal-Large, 13@71ac; small, SO
8 Nc per pound.
Tallow-5@5hc; No. 2 and grease,
81 @4c per pound.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01

She-Ah, how nice it must be to be
famous. How I wish had a name
He Gnterrupting)-P me to offer
you mine.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Not az It Should Be.

The Parson-Learn to be content, my
good man. The little mouths are never
sent. without food to feed them.
The Laborer (fatner Of ten)-Ah, par
son, but the mouths are sent to my
home and the food to yours.-Chicago
News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Truly Surprising.

"Look," said little Bessie, who had
never before seen mule used for any
thing but hauling.
what is it, my dearT
ga man riding horseback on a mule"
-Pittsburg Chronicle
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Unappreciated LiberaIity.

UnHpprec1ateU LfDeraI1tye
Mr.. White-MiS' Jackson, All paid ten
Aollahs foh dis here ring.
Miss Jackson-Hit am vehy cute, Mis-
tab White, but why didn't yoh git one
OBJ dem kind dat Gums in a popcohn
package? Yoh know how All lubs pop
cohn.-'
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
About the sixe Of II.

Little Willie-Say, pa, when a man
fails ip business what is meant by his
Liabilities?
Pa-The sum for which his creditors
get left, my son.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
ON HIS DIGNITY.

Mr.. Williams Has Notice that He Is Be.
meath Editorial Notice.
Just after we went to press last week,
and while on our way to Abraham
Whites grocery, we met Dan Williams,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
VERY Snicx,

Ida-When the hero saw her plight
he climbed to the edge Of the rock and
Glove the air.
May-My fellow has less risky way
Of doing it.
Ida-Doing what, dear?
May-Why, when he wants to Glove
the air he goes out between the acts
Chicago News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
PACIFIC COAST TRADE.
Seattle Markets.


Onions, So.
Lettuce, hot house, 4O@45c doz.
Potatoes, $16@17; $17@18.
Beets, per sack, 50@60c.
Turnips, per sack, 100000.
Carrots, per sack, ST..
Parsnips, per sack, 50@75c.
Caulifower, California $4,000.
-Strawberries-$2. .25per case.
Celery-40@60c per doz.
Cabbage, native and California,
$1.O0@1.25 per 100 pounds.
Apples, $2.O0@2.75; $3.O0@3. so.
Prunes, soc per box.
Butter-Creamery, 22c; Eastern 22c;
dairy, 17@22c; ranch, 15@17c pound.
Eggs-18c.
.Cheese-14@15c.
Poultry-14c; dressed. 14@15c;
spring, $5.
sHay-Puget Sound timothy, $11.00
@12.OO; choice Eastern Washington
timothy, $1s.O0@19.00
Corn-Whole, $23. 90; cracked, $23;
feed meal, $23.
Barley-Rolled or ground, per ton,
$40.
Flour-Patent, per barrel, 1925;
blended straights, $500; California,
1926; buckwheat flour, $500; gra.
ham, per barrel, So. 90; whole wheat
-four, $500; rye flour, So. 80 @4.00.
Millstuffs-Bran, per ton, $500;
shorts, per ton, $14.0O.
Feed-Chopped feed, $19. 90 per ton;
middlings, per ton, $40; oil cake meal,
per ton, $4,000.
Fresh Meats-Choice dressed beei
steers, price &c; cows, &c; mutton &c;
pork, &c; trimmed, Sc; veal, 81 q
10c.
Hams-Large, 13c; small, 1871;
breakfast bacon, IL 1ac; dry salt sides.
%
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01

Coroner-Why are you so positive the
deceased was accidentally Killed? Per-
haps it was a case of suicide.
Col. Bourbon-Youh seem to fohget,
sab, that quaint bottle full Of liquor
full, repeat, sah-was found in his
oyercoat pocket, sab.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01

The average man appreciates his
wife's temper SO much that he doesn't
like to have her lose 1t.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Impossible.

Husband-Why do you persist in
wearing shoes that pinch your feet?
Wife-Oh, never could feel comfort
able in a comfortable shoe.-Life.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Haunted,

Ida-I ana afraid of this old house.
They say skeletons hold high carnival
in the next room.
May-But how can they get in herei
Ida-They might use skeleton keys.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Two schools of veeetarian..

There are two schools of vegetarians.
One favors vegetable food which grows
below the earth's surface, and the 9TH
er favors that which grows above.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01

A woman can make a mental inyen-
tory Of another woman's attire in half
a minute-but she usually wastes a
whole afternoon in telling her niegh-
bors the details.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
In the Church Choir.

why can't you be obligings cried
the facetious music rack. '.rhe bells
play when they're tolled. Come! give
us tune"
NO" grumbled the organ. in deep
diapason, "I'l be blowed II do
Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01

In bunch of beef cattle delivered
in Arlington, Or, by Joseph Frizzell,
there were three steers that weighed
5000 pounds. An Eastern buyer who
saw them said he had never seen finer
steers in the Chicago market. The
steers were photographed in Arlington,
and before an hour 40 copies of the
pictures were ordered. They were
grade Herefords of the Danneman
stock.
The season at the United States fish
commission station, at Baker lake,
WASH, situated at the headwaters of
branch of Skagit river, is practically at
close. 1t is estimated that upward
of 80 per cent of the salmon taken pro.
duced young fry and that more than
10, 500, 900 healthy young salmon, of
the sockeye or blueback variety, were
liberated as a result of the work at the
station.
The Belgian hare craze has struck
Baker City, Or. says the Democrat.
Bella Kadish and Moses Fuchs have
gone into the business on limited
scale, with the chances of enlarging
their business into ponderous proper
tions off small capital. Messrs. Kad-
ish and Fuchs received day or so 90
two doessfrom rabbitry in California,
and the pedigrees attached to them
would make a Percheron stallion
ashamed of himself.
Work is progressing nicely on the
boo,
ty, Or. Water is being brought from
Pony slough and a reservoir of 100, 900
gallons capacity will be constructed
on the hill back of town. From this
reservoir water will be carried in
pipes to every residence in the place
and will have pressure of SIS pounds
to the inch.
The Grants Pass, Or, New Water,
Light & Power Company is erecting ON
the west side OF their power house q
building for the making of ice. This
plant will be supplied with the latest
improved horizontal compressors, with
capacity of making six tons of ice q
day. The company is also making
arrangements to operate an irrigation
ditch this summer, that will carry 500
inches of water in an open ditch, to
irrigate many hundred acres of land
below the power house.
The Touring mills at Chelan Falls,
WASH, is now running night and day
to keep up with orders. The greatest
difficulty is transportation up the river.
All three steamboats, are now loaded
to their fullest capacity every trip. and
still freight is piling up at Wenatchee.
The Inland Telephone & Telegraph
Company, of Spokane, WASH, will be.
gin work in a few days on a new line
from Coulee City. in Grand Coulee, to
Waterville, Douglas county, in the Big
Bend country. This new line will be
IS miles long.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
A Change of Scene.

'Why is that Filipino running in that
precipitate fashion?" asked the tourist.
"Oh," answered the native, gravely,
'he's merely travelling for his health"
Washington Star.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Two of Kind.

TWO on q hIud.
Hix-What would you think of man
who divulged a secret intrusted to him?
Dix-Well, should think he was on
an equal footing with the man who in
trusted it to him.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Not the Place.

Cholly-I think In me heawt-"
Daisy-Why, Cholly, you must be q
freak. Every one else thinks In their
head.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Very Similar.

"a good woman" said the lecturer,
els like pure gold"
'Thats right" interrupted a face
tious man in the rear. money talks"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01

Over the Limit.
your greatest enemy is whisky"
said the parson to an incorrigible MEM
Der Of his flock.
But" said the wayward one, "you
have always told us to love our enc
miles,"
"Yes," answered the good man, "but
not to swallow them"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01

After a man once reaches the top he
never talks about the surplus room up
there.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
A Tribute.

II want to stop in front of this win
dow" said Mr.. Blykins.
why, it's full Of millinery ex.
claimed his wife, II didn't know you
admired such things"
II not only admire; I marvel. take
off my hat to genius, and the people
who can get $50 apiece for lot Of
punches Of odds and ends like those
are qualified to give lessons to Napo-
leon of nce."-Washington Star.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01

An old bachelor says that widows are
the only secondhand articles that sell
at par.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
The Domestic Skeleton.

Herr Mercer, what Is there new
from the seat of war?"
"Sir, object to hearing any illusions
to my family affairsv"-Der Dorfbar-
Der.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.

Odd, Curious and Lau4hable Phases
Of Human Nature Graphically Por.
trayed by Eminent Word Artists Of
Our Own Day-A Budget Of Eun-
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01

Charming Hostess-Which do you
consider the prettiest picture in this
room?
VisitorThe one 1 can see now In the
mirror before which you are sitting!-
Neggendorfer Blaetter.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Some Other Kind Preferred.

TFG1GIIGUe
"Your system Is generally run down."
said DR.. Kanard, the eminent special
IN short time, II you follow directions.
Would you prefer home treatment?"
Il think not" responded Mr.. Meeker,
involuntarily lowering his voice. Its
its my home treatment, am afraid,
that really ails me."-Chicago Tribune.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
SIeixht of Hand.

The Point of View.
Biggs-Figgs has the clearest head of
any man I know.
Diggs- That's right; there is asbo-
lutely nothing in it.
Unmasked.
He-Who Is that ugly old woman over
there by the piano?
She-Oh, that's Nine. Cosmetique, the
famous beauty specialist.
A Natural Question.
Four-year-old Harry, noticing that
the clock had stopped, asked his father
folk:
Papa, when the clock stops does
time stop"
A Disastrous Smash.
IT understand it's a very disastrous
smash"
Eyes, there isn't enough to pay the
receivers divvy.".Philadelph North
American.
The One Thing Needfu1.
Fair Customer-This cook book ap-
pears to be all right, with one excep-
ton.
Bookseller-Pray, what is that, mad
amp
Fair -Customer-It has no pictures in
It."
Bookseller-Of course not, madam.
One seldom sees cook book with illus
Eations.
Fair Customer-But what's the use of
cut plates?
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Change the style

Mother-Look out you don't drop q
stitch while you are knitting those
stockings.
Daughter-Well, if do they'll be
drop-stitch stockings.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
About the Size of It,


Money" said the political orator, sis
q great lever, and"
''That's right, mister" interrupted
man in the gallery. Its such a great
leaver that most of us can't keep it,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Poor Lii Hung Chang.

Ii Hung Chang is reputed to be
worth f1OO.O00.OOO.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01
Breath and Brush Act.

Breath ana brush Act
"Can you give flrst-class polish to q
pair of shoesY
"Shud say SO, boss. Why, when Ah
polish ge'man's shoes de ladies glance
down at his feet to see II deh hats am
on straight"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-01

you mine
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1900-11-23
The New General Manager.

Ever since the announcement that
Mr.. HAYS was going TO another and Per-
haps more extended field Of labor oar
people have heen anxiously Specializing
as TO who his successor would he and
whether he would carry out Mr.. Hays's
plans along the enterPrising lines on
which they were laid out. Aud when II
was announced that Geo. Il. Reeve had
met the approval of the management.
and especially 3 Mr.. Hays, aud was Sc
lected as general manager, everybody
who knew or had even met or heard of
George b. Reeve was relieved, pleased.
rejoiced. All feel satisfied that whatever
occurs the work will he lively, thorough
and productive to the Company and to
localities along the line, for all such are
benefited just in proportion as the rail-
way enterprise is a success. All feel
that Mr.. Reeve, having been born in
England and coming to this country
early in life, is man of cosmopolitan
ideas, and having gone like sensible
man to rest aud revel in the groves of a
more genial cline his genius as Il rail-
road man was pursued 10y those who
knew his worth and brought back to
usefulness. Everybody feels also like
congratulating Mr.. Reeve, not with mo
mentary enthusiasm alone, but with
good, solid, substantial and judicious
congratulations on his having made such
impressions and achieved such results
that men and enterprises rushing along
the fast lines of these fast times should
turn into his pleasant retreat and place
him in as high and responsible railroad
position as any other in the country. TC
get to such position through design 81
favoritism is cheap glitter and foppery
but to get there by work, genius anc
square dealing is something solid, sub
stantial and good. And all our peopl,
simply feel good over the announcement
not only railroad men but tyeryhod,
else who has ever been benefited by tn,
work of the coming man or been warme,
by his presence and that includes every
body who has ever come in contact wit
it or him.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1900-11-23
Thanksgiving Proclamation.

Gov. Stickney has issued the follow
ing Thanksgiving PROCLAMATION:
In the year Of the adoption Of the
first Constitution of the State, after the
harvest had been gathered. our fathers
10y their Council Of Safety appointed a
time Ito be- observed a. a day of public
thanksgiving and prayer throughout the
State of Vermont"
In the midst of their many privatiouS
they clearly saw that the earth was full
of the goodness of the Lord.
Let us then. their children, surrounded
as We are 10y manifold blessings, rrvcr-
emily continue the custom, and at altar
and by frcside make devout ackuowl-
edgement to Almighty God for His
goodness and mercy.
For in the year that has gone H. has
given MS health and peace and plenty
under liberty regulated 10y law.
do, therefore, appoint Thursday. the
Goth of November, \. d.. 1900. as a day
of public Thanksgiving and praise and
recommend its general observance.
Given under my hand and HE State
Seal. in the Executive Chamber at
Montpelier, this tenth day of November,
]
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1900-11-23
L.unenburg.

The next lecture in the Woman's
Club lecture course will be given on
Friday evening of this week by Edward
NJ. Chapman. The subject of his lee
ture is Three milestones in the cen
tury's progress The postponed lecture
will be given Friday evening Nov 3Oth,
Mr.. Hacks illustrated lecture.
The Woman's Club met with Misses
Lotto and Emma Barnard Tuesday af-
ternoon Nov. 18th. After quotations Il
paper written by Mrs Flora Balch was
read by Miss Emma Barnard on Robert
Bruce to Robert II, 1929 to 1877, also
paper 10y Mrs. Wright on the principal
events from Robert ii to Mary.
Mr.. Chapman who has been boarding
at the Heights House for several weeks
returned to his home in Boston the first
of the week.
A large number of season tickets have
been sold for the Woman's Club lecture
course and good talent has been en-
gagged. 1t is quite necessary to sell a
few more tickets to insure success. The
charge for season tickets is small and
ought not to prevent any and every one
from having them thereby bringing
some outside entertainment and profit
to ALL
f. w. Wright returned from Sharon
Saturday evening.
Miss May Phillips of Littleton was
the guest Of Miss Katherine Silsby over
Sunday.
The extreme cold weather of last
week found every one unprepared for it.
Edward Curtis who has been sick for
some time is slowly failing.
The examination of teachers by
county examiner Wright will be held in
the different towns during the next few
weeks.
Mr.. Whedon, who adve rtised to give
a recital at the hall, did not get out an
audience so returned home to Whitefeld
Saturday evening.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1900-11-23

n. u. Bouker has good supply Of
Baldwin aIr r, No. J aud which he
will -rll very cheap.
Irving Boukrr spent last week in
MoutIrii,r.
Georg- Stone Was married 10 Miss
Gorham If II. .Iohusbury one day last
week. They expect to reside in Berlin,
y. II. !. N. Dodge and wife attended
the wedding from here.
No. >chaol.urIrr grade closed Tues
day afternoon Nov. 18th. The follow
Ing scholars stood highest ia the eXami-
nations: Richard Taylor 800, Lester
Moses 81, Nina Zimmerman $50
The following programme was carried
out Tuesday afternoon:
Singing Battle hymn Of the Republic,
the school.
Mrs. Hen and her children, Aurilla
Woods.
The Coon song. 9Th and 9th grades
Singing. Clara Garland. Susie Hale.
\ Principal put to test, Lizzie Day.
Sugar tooth Dick, Nina Zimmerman.
Singing, All Hail, Fair America
school.
The Landing of the Pilgrims, 9Th an,
| 10th grades.
The steam man. Lucia Day.
Singing. Lottie Valley. Susie Hale.
The pumpkin. Lucia Day. Aurill'
| Woods, Lottir Valley. Nina Zimmerman
Singing. Clara Garland, Susie Hale.
Singing. America, school.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1900-11-23
Norton,

Miss Grant is visiting Miss Nelson.
Quite number of deer have been
shot on the Canada side OF late
\. \. Lyon has taken a large pulp
wood iob of the Burgess Co. OF Berlin.
DIR. Trcuholme, Surgeon Dentist of
Island Pond will be at DIR. Parlin's Of
hcc every Tuesday.
Justice Marsh is doing a rushing bus
mess in the matrimonial line at present.
DR.. Treuholme of Coaticook and DR..
Parlin of this place performed success
full operation on Mrs. VIM. Hudson of
Aycrill last Tuesday.