davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

Hon. William Jennings Bryan will
arrive in Wheeling, from Buffalo and
Pittsburg just before noon to-day, and
after a stop not exceeding a quarter of
an hour will proceed south via the
Ohio River railroad for Huntington.
His visit is not a political one, as be
is merely passing through the city, and
in transit is procuring m~uch-needed
rest. He should be allowed a day to
himself,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

teen balloons contained inside the az
minimum skeleton frame with its can
vas covering. Each balloon entirely
fills the compartment it occupies, except
for a slight allowance for expansion
due to a rise in temperature. Their
cubic capacity is about $50 metres OF
hydrogen, the united cubic capacity of
the balloons being 11,t00 metres.
1t Is claimed by the Inventor that a
voyage Of three weeks is possible with
out renewing the supply Of gas, and that
the lifting power is 1000 kilogrammes
nearly 2,700 pounds.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

an pondher on ho~ much pieasanter
Il Is 20 be catchin' hnny monsthers
thin dodgiu bricks. Gawd help tn
land. he says, 70 Ing rim ills a prey.
he says. where statesmen multiply
ne says. an fishermen decay. he says.
Anyhow. ne says. they didn't know
a good thing whln they had wan.
which hs says. was me
An 50 II g~oes-croker an Carl
schoorfz. AIteeId an Oiney. Rosenfelt
an Quay, Carlisle an Stewart. What's
/. plain. foolish. an ~thonghtIess man
ike nnesilf 10 dog Sure they ought TO
have wan place fr a citizen 70 vote fr
his principles an another TO vote FIR
his candydate.f
Il" said Mr. Hennessy. VIII vote
as I shot
with ye,er eyes snutg" said Mr..
Dooley. IT'S tn oa'y way
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

Copyright, 1900, Robert Howard Russell.
"How's tn bettin' on tn iliction?"
Mr.. H~ennessy asked.
"'Tis goin' on ~splendidly," said Mr..
Dooley, IAN befure long they'll be
some money put up. At tn prisint
time tn parties IS enable FIR to agree.
Richard Croker offers to bet tn north
wind again tn nh iv Lincoln Park
with ozone that Bryan's tn man, but
he wants TOO much odds. On tn stock
exchange yesterday a well known
broker that's supposed to be actin fr
Jamca 2. Keene. offered to wager nh
sontints Iva Balloon again a lung full
~ smoke thar Mackn carry Ioway.
Tn other party to tn wager rsyfused
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

isn't up to the mark, or fails OF its pur-
pose, and the men lost q few pounds or
desire a change o. diet from sailed
shavings or something tasting very
much the same to the old familiar bean
soup and hard tack, they can console
themselves with the thought that it is
all in the days work, and that thirteen
dollars per month and found" covers
a multitude of unpleasant experiences.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

Lord bless me. IT'S enough TO make
a man dizzy, Hlnnissy. They'se me
frind Grover. / thought. be hivens,
we'd heerd tn last Nv him but fr an
occasional groanin' firm TIL Willis Nv
Moo Jarsey. A q ago twas:
Where's Cleveland7' Tn Lord on.y
knows or cares. Prob'ly dhrivin' a
milk wagon. An how is Ii today
Tn shores IN Boozards Bay is crowded
twinty deep with men whoop.n' through
m~egaphones. They'se a stout man set
tin out on tn wather In a little boat
with a jug in front 10 balance. An
It's me OF frInd. tn lost. tn defeated.
tn hated an despised thraitor an ty-
rant. S. Grover Cleveland. says a man
with a horn What is it, says III la-ad
in III boat .Ar-re re In favor w gooId
money. I dinnaw. I've got i whale
on tn line Grover, says another.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

they would be no security in this
thry hat tn banks wudden't take. An
with tn growth Nv tn thrusts our coun-
thry Expands an increases an gets
larger till they'se hardly a corner Nv tn
worruld where tn inhabitants amt
afraid were a-comin' in. / nope fr to
live to see tn day wa.n tn glories iv
u civilization an thrusts an syndi-
Gates an sound money an little iv
that. will pinethrate tn desolate places
iv tn earth, an tn stars an sthripes
will wave over a worruld ayether.' he
says. free he says. or dead. he says.
Thin r-rally round our banner. put
ye'er shoulders to tn wheel an give
a long pull. a sthrong pull an. he SAYS.
a pull altogether FIR commercial comb.-
nations. expansion. TIL subjygation Nv
tn subjygatiable races. goold money
an tn peerless Willum J. Bryan.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

paign Club and put Crayon Portraits
in the Front Room and save Soap
Wrappers so at to get Useful Prizes
and buy Tickets for Amateur Shows
and Trim the Shade Trees n put in
a Telephone and run a Lawr Mower
and save up for a Horse n Buggy
and maintain a Cup at the Barber
Shop and get tied up with the Special
Assessment Game ana be sent to the
Store to match Dress Goods and Quar-
rel with my Neighbors about Christian
Science and sign Petitions and hide
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

The Fates are unkind sometimes,
even to Prohibitionists. Out in Doug
lass county, Kansas, the Prohibition
party made up a county ticket, and it
was entrusted to a man with
instructions to carry it to the county
seat and place it in the hands of the
County Clerk. This was at the elev-
'enth hour. The messenger got drunk
and fell by the wayside, the legal time
expired before the envelope was deliy-
ersd, and as a result the ticket will not
be UPON the official ballot.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21
mr.. Dcoley On the Progress 81 the Campaign.

out throops to murdher an pillage an
elope with tn s~trugglin' races ~ the
boochoos Philippians, makes me blood
bile almost to tn dew pint. I endorse
ivrything Wiilum ]. Bryan says on tn
subjict ar though it goes hard FIR me
to say il. life long Republican that
I am. l exhort livery follower of mine
to put inmitiss aside. f'rget his preju-
dices an cast his vote FIR Willum Nc
Kinley.' Says me frind Olney, the wan
that TRANSLATED tn Monroe doctrine
into English, No crime cud be- worst
than the characterization an digrada-
ton iv tn dough we all worruk so hard
FIR. onless it wud be tn interference
iv polluted arnycAists with thin
thrusts that has daviloped tn re-
sources Nv tn profession iv which I am
a desarvin' mimber. But fr these vast
combinations iy1 capital an Industry
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

tn offer an the two sports comprom-
ised on a bet Nv tn drinks that Shakes
peare wrote To Have an to Held I
was comm UP in tn ca-ar tonight
an there was two la-ads discussin' tn
situation. I bet We a millyon dollars
says wan Nv thin, that Mckinley car
ries Kansas What odds'll We give?'
says the Their. Two to wan says tn
ls-ad. L take ye.' says tn other. BY
tn way. did We buy hat SEWN ma
chine FIR ye'er wife?'
Ills a quare campaign, Hinnissy.
In the first place there amt amy is
sues. Ye can usually scare up an is
sue 10 . campaign, but in this wan,
no wan is goin' to vote tn way he be-
lieves- Says ms frind Binjamin Har-
rison: TIL conduct iv tn admins
thration has been little short of hellish.
Tn d E that this gover'mint shud sind
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

What dye w~ant-searin' tn hsh7 says
Grover. Amt ye again expansion
I can't hear ye,' says Grover. Get
back a little-abont a mile-an' speak
more SLOW. Won't We come out fr
Bryan ] wudden't come u fr an
nything but fish, 'Ar-re ye a pathrite
or a thraitor7' I'm nayther; I'm
busy Won't ye tell tn people 70 vote
fr sound money! Tell thin TO take
amy kind they can get fr their votes.
VIII Ne abandon Mark HANNAH He
was an abandoned man befure.
Won't ye say a wurrud fr Bryan
Tie needs no more worruds thin he has
said fr hinsiIf. eYeser country Is
bein rooned-' Til fshln' is bee
rooned be yeser noise says Grover.
Leander, row me on a mile or two
where ! can dhrop a hook In peace.
ManewhiIe. III take q pull at tn bait
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

Property from the Assessor and serve
on Juries and wear heavy Black
Clothes on Sunday and have TO learn
the Names and Records Of all the Pugi-
lists and Clean House every Spring"
But 0 only see the Dark Side OF
the Picture" said the Hiksr. You
seem to forget hat you win have Dol
lar Excursions, Street Fairs. Shooting
the Chutes. Lyceum Entertainments By
Male Quartettes and Readers. 10 say
nothing OF the Jaek-straw Parties
Have you no Social Aspirations?'
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

and Blow the Money like a Civilized
White Man? If you'd do that, then Us
Fellows could go back to the Snow
drifts and the Buckwheat Cakes.
~ am afraid of your Programme
replied the Insurrecto. Il hear that as
soon as you get me right you are go
ing to Americanize me. You have
Something Ffbbed up for US that you
call Benevolent Assimilation Perhaps
L will have to read all OF the Ten Cent
Magazines and be jerked by the Troll
ley cars, and have to march In a Cam
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

Copyright, 1909, Robert Howard Russell.
a Lanky U. S. Volunteer Hiker came
upon a little Google hid in a Cocoa
Nat Grove n Nailed him. He took
the splay-foctod Tagalo by the Scruff
Of the Neck and famed the air with
his PompaGour.
WHY can't you behave?" asked the
Big Fellow in Khaki. "Don't YOU think
I've been playing Hide and Seek with
you sawed-on Brownies about long
enough? Do you think / can afford to
run Foot-Races in the Tropics for SIX
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

t~een-Sixty per? AS we sit here in the
shade Of the Bim-Bam tree. you look
me in the face and tell me you are an
Amigo from away back. You have on
your snow white .>nicGies I'D your
spotless Shirt Of Cheese Cloth, and
what with the bluff smile of Brotherly
Love. you nave the Dove of Peace put
TO Shame. At the same time l am lay
ing Ten Dobe Dollars to a Dollar in
Money that as soon as 1 release you
you will vamoose to your little old
shack and dig up a pair of Red Pants
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

a smokeless Mauser and a hair edge
Bolo. Then tomorrow Morning, If one
of the Boys happens TO Wander beyond
the outpost to pick Wild Flowers or
Chickens. you and about forty others
will be waiting in the Jungle to slice
him. AS a stand up Fighter you are
about as Game as a Clay Pigeon, but as
a Lightning Change Artist and all
round Pest you are the Money. Why
o you let up? Go and turn in your
Shooting Iron for Thirty Dollars Mex
and then go out next Saturday Night
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21
Presidents Don't Matter.

Boston Globe.
Recent imports of gold to the amount OF
sa.l5o.co inustrate the truth that under
present conditions the United states is the
gold magnet of the world. AS long as the
foreign trade of the country continues ia
show so large a balance in our favor, con-
slant imports Of gold are certain to ba
m~ade-whoever is President.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

None 20 speak o." replied the Ma
tive. II am half savage and half
Child. I have I'VE even SAT for a
Tin-Type IN a Tent"
II suppose yon never saw a watch
Chain made oat u Real Hairr' asked
the Volunteer
Il never Gld replied the Google.
II can see that you are unht for SELF
Government Sail fhe Volunteer We
will have % stay over here "a few FEARS
longer and TAX care % you
Morai-ft f. expecting Too much q a
Simple Minded People
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

Somerville Journal.
Lean on me" m the fat loven
tenderly.
n lady looked at him inoreduIously.
"WhereT' she asked, in uncomfortable
surprise. For every canuibal knows that
when a man weighs $50 pounds. lean is
something to be wished for rather than
expected.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

Detroit free Press.
You ought TO be able to tell a straight
story about the affair" said the lawyer to
a witness in an embezzling case.
Il don't know about that" replied tina
witness. 1T was a very crooked proceed
ing
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

Governor Roosevelt in an interview
says he had a pleasant time in West
Virginia. Certainly. Who does not?
West Virginia is the land of con
bread, hot wafies, coon, grounding. the
succulert paw-paw, mountain oysters.
pretty girls, and a little OF the conai-
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

Philadelphia Record.
Sillicus-I was awfully downhearted be-
fore l got engaged. l married for SYM
pathy. Cynicus-Well. you've got mine.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

In the Uncongested District.

PUCK.
Towne-Now that I'm out this far. r
may as well call on Brown. also. He's
your next-door nelghbor. isn't her
Subbubs-Yes; wait a moment and lie
megaphone and see II he's at home.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

ment for which Kentucky is justly cele-
brated on the side. Who couldn't be
happy here? Let the Governor call
again, outside Of politics, and we'lf show
him round.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21
POTWIN'S TROUBLES WITH
DILATORY PEOPLE.
Chicago Record.

NHlcaSO RECORD.
Over the telephone Potwin said to Mrs.
Potwin: Il should like to break the record
for once and get started on time. It's 1870
a. m. now. Do you think. if you made a
desperate struggle, that you could start in
and get ready by half-past seven? What's
thar? Yes, | suppose so. / shall be home
10 dinner at s. Now, If you think that I'm
pressing you unduly / can just as well get
the tickets for Tomorrow night as motor
some time early next week. Oh, well,
don't get mad about it. Goodbye
Going TO the theatre tonight" he ex-
planned to the man who had excused hin
a moment II thought would give the
madam due notice. but / don't suppose it
will do any good. She. will potter about in
her sweet, Irresponsible way until half an
hour before schedule time and then she'll
inform me that she had no idea that it
was so late. There is a fairly accurate
clock on the ma~ntlepiece and she generally
wears her watch, to say nothing of the
facilities afforded by the grandfather's
clock in the hall. the cuckoo clock in the
dining-room and the half dozen others
scattered about-the house. And she hadn't
any idea 1t was so latei If she said she
tiouSuI SHc Aeu pteueS % lliIie lHele
might be some foundation for it. Not a
married man yourself, are you? I thought
not. l miss the seams n burrows in your
face and the generally haggard expression
that comes after a few years association
with q woman to a mar wlioaloves pune-
tuality. I'm not an irritable man myself.
but it irritates me to have to wait for any
body when a set time has been agreed
upon l never missed an appointment in
my life"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

The fifty-sixth annual meeting of the
Baptist Association of Illinois adopted a
resolution strongly denouncing the
army canteen. The Association then
adjourned to meet at Champaign.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

Miss Biff, has your employer any ty-
~rannical habits?" Yes, indeed; he buys
candy and eats 1t before my eyes"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21


three washings. and who had swallowed
his shaving soap.
you're not going to shave. surely
said Mrs. Potwin. Il know you won't
have time and you are wasting so much
time grumbling that we won't catch hat
train anyhow"
You hurry along with your own dress
ing" he retorted. 'tand leave me to at
tend to mine" There was silence for a
few minutes, then an ejaculation.
1.-The court plaster Is in the little sids
drawer" called Mrs. Potwin.
Can't you come and cut II for me?"
Il would, only I've got my gloves on"
you've GOT Potwin burst out of his
room. with a handkerchief applied to his
cheek and was confronted by his wife
dressed completely. with her cloak on ana
her neat umbrella in her hand. He gasped
and then hurried back slammed his
door. lie was ten minutes longer in the
room n then he left with his necktie
in his oyercoat pocket and his collar I'M
buttoned to run for the train.
I'm going to town tomorrow 70 pick
out that hat" said Mrs. Potwin. as soon
as she dared. Potwin looked at her out OF
the tail of his eye.
You had tina wrapper on over your
dress, you INSCRIPTIONS female he said.
And she moved closer to him and pinched
his arm.
Don't you wish you knew?' she said.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21
Dbsrlia9 8tsister
CHARLES II. TANEy. GenerisManase,.

The REGISTER, embracing Gts several
editions, is entered at the Pd3toffice at
Wheeling, w. Va. as ~second-claes matter.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21

Generally speaking" remarked the
friend, II detest a man who never missed
an appointment in his Efe. l happened TO
meet you here on time to-day, but it was
entirely by accident and l don't suppose
that 1t will ever happen again. 1 abomi-
nate infallibility In poor, mortal creatures
and I'd be willing to bet you any reason
able amount that you miss, on an average,
three appointments a week. I'll bet you
miss one before the day is out"
IN take you up on that for a lunch"
said Potwin, brfskly. and I'll tell you
about it If 1 do. Now. let's see If we
can't get that matter settled up"
The two plunged into their business,
which lasted for some little time. At last
Potwin said: We'll, you look in some
time during the afternoon with the papers
and I'll sign them. Let me see. Can you
get around by 4 o'clock?'
The other man said he could, and with a
parting adjuration from Potwin to be
punctual took his leave.
He was back again five minutes after
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-10-21
Che Modern Fable 81 THE Boston ri

Copyright. 1900, Robert Howard Russell.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-07-29

The novel feature lay in the tucking,
which began at the bust and extended
in long straight tucks, very narrow
and very tightly stitched, SO as to look
almost like cords. right down to a
point below the knees Below this the
gown fiared and lay upon the ground,
very long in front and back
Upon the bust were two very large
roes of shell pink panne velvet, so at
tached as to stand out in beautiful re-
lief.
Such a gown as this, while too light
for the street wear of the practical
woman, might be initiated, say in
Roman blue CLOTH with black velvet
braiding, with roses of deep red velvet
Hats this fall will be worn well off
the face and with strings. The day
of the string is at hand. If wide, the
strings are made of tulle or chiffon,
and are attached to the back of the
hat and brought forward under the
chin, and sometimes wound around
several times. If they are made of mar
row bands Of velvet, these velvet
streamers are caught upon the front of
the gown in a picturesque bow.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-07-29
A GIRLS BRAIN.

@<f -~At@@StCNA SaaE StARt0ns
Is /. likely that a brother and sister
rocked to in the same cradle, reared in
the same home, taught in the same
school and college. will be SO entirely
unlike one another that their life work
will never coincide?
On the contrary. it has been proved
that sons are apt to inherit their
mothers tastes and ideas. while iaugh-
tiers most resemble their fathers In
their mental characteristics.
Observe how occupations have
changed from one sex TO the other
during the past few years. Men have
become cooks and women have become
lawyers Girls make ribbons and
dress goods in the factory and men.
stand behind the counters and sell
them.
There is to-day in the New York
Teachers College a young girl who is
one Of the skilled workers in the
forging class. She stands al the anvil
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-07-29
MERE MAN
Nv sarah Grand.

decline to be accused of calling man
any names. do not decline out of con-
sideration of mere man" altogether,
but in self-defense. To use such an ex-
preston deprives me of any dignity
which | might myself derive from the
dignity of the subject.
The saying is In small things, lib
erty, in great things, unity; in all
things charity" but when you meet a
man who describes himself as mere
man." you would always do well to
ask what he wants, for since man first
swung himself from his bough in the
forest primeval- and stood upright on
two legs, he has never assumed that po-
sition for nothing.
My own private opinion, which
confide to you, knowing 1t will go no
further, is that he assumes that tone,
as a rule to overawe sovereign wo-
man. Mere man." is paradoxical
creature. 1t is not always possible to
distinguish between his sober earnest
and his leg-pulling exercises. One has
to be on! ones guard, and woe be TO the
woman who sense Of humor which is
suoa prominent character of our COM
ic papers.
Sovereign woman is the Uitlander OF
civilization-and man is her Boer. 1t
seems to me that woman is very much
in the position of Queen Esther; she
has her crown and her kingdom. and
her royal robes. but she is liable to have
her head snapped off every day. Mere
man" mas his faults, no doubt, but wo-
man can also be rasping sort of erea-
ture. especially il she does not eulti-
vate sympathy with cigarettes as she
grows older.
Personally, and speaking as woman
whose guiding principal through life
has been TO never do anything for her.
self that she can get nice man to do
for her. principle which have found
entirely successful. and which strong
b recommend to every other woman:
personally. | have always found man
an excellent comrade
He has stood by me loyalty. and held
out an honest hand 10 me. and lent
me his strength when mine was failing,
and helped me calamity over many an
awkward BIZ Of the way. and that, too,
at times when sovereign woman whom
| had 50 respected and admired and
championed. had nothing for me bur
bonnet-pins.
In the great republic Of letters to
which have the honor to beIong--in
the distinguished position Of the letter
tmy experience Is that woman
suffers no indIgnity q the hands Of
man Oh account of her -. That il fhe
sort of experiences which crente1 -