The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-02-25
BE HZetAodlcQl
Horatio Quoted u Motto for His
Wife,


.,A1y dear little woman said Mr.. Ho-
ratio Baldegg, ''you know that have
no desire to be severe or unklnd What
ever may say, unpalatable as 1T may
seem at the time, is entirely for your
own good and for your own ultimate
benefit. You will do me the justice TO
believe that, will you not?
Mrs. Baldegg sighed.
'Of course. I will believe everything
you say Eoratio.''
The conversation took place in the
bedroom while the good man was per-
forming his morning ablutions. his
wife was cycling him feacfuly, as usual,
wondering what would be the next th1nS
he would find fault with.
There you so again, Henrietta. You
will believe everything I say! Now, isn't
that absurd of you? Suppose l. In a
joke, tell you the moon is made OF green
cheese will you believe that?"
The idea of her husband making joke
was apparently too much for the COM
s,rehension of the good lady.
mo, indeed. Horatio; l would not,
she asseverated.
..Then YOU would not believe every
thing 1 say. Quite right. Use your own
Judgment That is what I am always
trying to impress upon you Be method
ical Be careful. Do everything III order
and in its proper turn. Have a method
for everything and stick to it. a place
TOR everything, and everything IN its
place-you know the old motto. my
dear"
yes. Horatio, do"
very well. then; very well. Now, my
dear, don't stand there listening to me
without some ideas of your own Guilt
vate thought. Is there anything In your
mind now?''
She was perplexed.
.I-I-don't think there is, Horatio"
so YOU don't think. Then pray do
think. Get something in your mind.
Couldn't you go downstairs and see
whether Susan is ready with the break
fast? Couldn't you?"
Yes, 1 could Horatio."
''Then do Please do. Give eye to
the table See there is nothing out of
place 1 do hate an untidy table. Meth
cd, my dear, method. That's the soul
of every thing. Now so along, there's
good woman
Mrs Baldegg made a Decline for the
door,
.'stop! Stop! My darling woman, when
shall impress upon you the advisabillty
of always starting with the left foot
foremost? It gives dignity to your car
t.
and start again when count three. Now
ready with the left foot-one, two
three! Quick, march. That's the way.
Why, I shall make an orderly woman Of
You yeti
Mr. Baldegg went on with his wash in
the most precise and unerring manner.
The way he handled his soap and towels
was a revelation: carefully, gently, in
due order and with the utmost circum-
A I'd no
posted in the very centre of the dish,
the sponge went back into a bag that
was hanging so true to the wall that it
looked as though set with a spirtt-level,
and the towels were draped on the horse
without the shadow of a crease or
wrinkle. Then Nh Raldegs proceeded
to robe himself i'll his ordinary habili-
mentS.
Meanwhile, his wife sat square at the
top of the table in the breakfast-room,
facing the tea urn that Susan had just
brought in. She had looked to every
cup, plate and piece of bread on the
table TO see that everything was in
apple-pie order. Each chair in the room
and every ornament on the shelves were
anxiously scrutinized. All looked ship
shape. and the tremulous woman only
awaited her lords approach Something
would be wrong, that she knew. She
only wondered Will II WOulu NC.
Susan brought the toast, and then the
head of the household came down In all
his majesty. a rapid glance took in the
complete situation Of things. He frowned.
Where are the eggs, my dear?"
"Susan is bringing them"
"You must alter this. The hot toast
is here, and the eggs should be with
them. The toast is getting cold while
we await the eggs. That shows sad
| lack Of method
Mrs. Baldegg was beginning to explain,
when Susan arrived with the eggs. She
was a comedy young person. For some
reason or other, as she glanced at her
master she almost broke into litter.
Then she colored up to the roots of her
hair put down her dish with clatter
and escaped from the room with run.
| Horatio stared, then turned TO his
| wife in intense surprise. What Is the
| meaning of that? Can you tell me why
| Susan behaved in that wofully disorderly
| manDer?"
81 think she was confused. Horatio."
| "Confused? Nobody could be confused
! If they acted in a strictly methodicai
| manner. And why, pray, should Susan
! be confused?"
IT think. dear" said his wife, ut was
! because she noticed that you have goi
| Your trousers on with the hind part be-
| forev-Cincinnati Enquirer.