The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1900-06-15
l have received the following lette

! nave IecelVSu tDe 1oilOwinS letter
"Doar-s,ye: I am ab,u. to start in
the boot r,1d shoe. e.buisness. My friend,
say l am cut out for it, have genius in
that direction. Can you surgost some
way to get going and stay going with,
out using the newspapers? An early
reply will greatly oblige, Reginald"
To begin with-,tay where you are!
Don't nov! Allons? about to
start is better than starting without
the aid Of the press, Reggie.
/ am glad to hear that you hive
genius-you'll need it, R,ggie to suc.
csed in any direction unless you are
bound "up salt Crock" without the
genial and necessary assistance OF
printers ink.
I can suggest way-I will suggst Z
way-a road as plain as is the nose on
your face, Reggie. 1 take it for grant.
ed you have a face aud that the nose
ornamea,ing it is a R,maa one, and
not a mere dent in your physinguomy.
A road that has been travelled by
more uhadulterated failures b,,h in
the shoe trade and other branches OF
business endeavor than that charming
country ramble which Shakespeare
Gays "is paved with good intentions"
1t will bear careful consideration and
is as follows:
SOME HINTS ON SELF ADVERTISING
The first thing on waking in the
morning. turn over and 60 to sleep
again; this will rest you aud keep you
from getting up. No self-re ,pecting
shoe dealer should uaock hi the morn
h'g' xSd it might adj to his dignity
not to get there till 10 p. m.
When YOU h~va -ops--I Tho sto
brining in the hose and wet down tfe
stock to make sure it does not leak.
If it's cold morning, wet down the
walk in front of the store, Sd it'll
fretz, and the first man that attempts
to 90 by will fall, like Lucifer, aud
drive his spinal column up through gh his
brains. This is an efficient way to see
if the man who attempted to so by has
any. Drag him into the store and
send for Ss- doctor This will draw a
crowd, some Of whom might need shoes
and steal pair.
While the doctor is pushing the
mans spine back to place and sewing
up tho hole. tell the Injured wretch a
funny story, aud sell him pair of
shoes that won't slip. You might turn
the hose on the crowd, at the same time
making soms faceticious remark about
the weather. BY this time lots Of folks
will havs slipped down on your i'm.
provised rink to their great msrriment.
This little stroke of business can be
dealt by you any time when it is not
freezing by spreading few banana
skins on the walk. Folks'll sue you
if they don't kill you outright-and a
law suit will keep your name before
the public.
When the excitement is over, take
the best pair OF shoes in the store, il
you We aid for them, aud get a big
hammer and long spike and spike
the m down to the sidewall in front o
the door. This will attract attention
and aff,rd you infuite amusemen
when any one tries to carry them OIL
When lady calls, don't jump a
"business" the frat thing by askip
her if she wants to buy pair of shoe
she always goes to the drug store f.,
them. Ask her how old she lie; if he
teeth are false and if she lives happil
with her husband. Then introduc
the subject OF shoes carefully, but firml
with slight innuendo, as: "Ab! [ se
you've got your feet with you! o
"WIen small feet were given out i
Maine you we're in Texas!" Try a lin
of Ella Wheeler on her; women lik
poetry. :.
Laugh and the world laughs wit
you.
RI Weep and we all repine.
An extra size shoe is the thing fl
, you,
When your foot is a number nine
When she founces out, ask her
that's her own hair or a switch. The
, when her husband or big BROTH
!, comes around, laugh yourself as
. jams your measly head through she
r case. "Laugh and he will laugh vii
! you" This keeps the town talkir
a about you and is much cheaper th'
: advertising in papers.
I The late p. T. Bsrnum, when bu