The daily sentinel., 1900-06-16
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The Boer's capital is wherever Dom
Pauls whiskers happen to be.
Mrs. Farbure's many friends are glad
to see her around or crutches once
more.
An Ohio exchange makes note OF the
fact that "Mrs. Aiklittle and Mrs. B.iles
Of Akron are visiting with Mrs. Latin
and Miss Paine"
A Lovelapd editor OF scientific turn
of mind claims he has made discovery
to the effect that mosquitoes bite only
delinquent subscribers.
As though it were something to brag
about an enterprising hotel man up at
Spencer advertises warm beds" as
specially. We have them regular
thing.
A Montrose paper unfeelingly refers
to Salida as a "town" This slur,
whether intended or not, should be bit
terly resented by all loyal citizens of
that full fledged city on the Arkansas
1t is common talk on the streets that
Anderson the 2nd hand man is in active
training preparatory for entry in the
pie eating contest up at Leadville on the
Fourth His friends say he i'll not re-
quire much training.
Jos. Rainbow, wealthy Detroit cap
italist. aged 76 and feeble, has become
emeshed in the matrimonial net, his
fiancie being an old hand at the business
one Jessie Landa. Her friends no doubt
laughed to see Rainbow bite and Jes-
sic Landa sucker.
A st. Joe man has been awarded
5000 damages against the city on ac-
count of a broken leg sustained while
actively stepping on a banana peel and
the city attorney argued for new trial
on the plea that there Was ample
ground for a-peal.
society reminds you of man thinking
he is fooling the people by combiDg his
h ,ir over the bald spot.-Kopjville Ex-
cuse. Judging from appearances the
hearts of the Excuse editor and his wife
beat in sympathetic harmony.
An observing public will please take
note Of the fact that they cannot pass
The store OF that patriotic (?) merchant
who is 30 persistently advocating q
spike driving" contest for Peach Day
without stubbing their toes. Let him
hire man and fix his own sidewalk.
While sprinkling his lawn the other
day a prominent old grass widower's
hose became entangled around his legs,
aud while in this compromising position
lady friend happened along in time to
assist him 10 extricating himself.-Ga-
zoot The old duffer was evidently ac-
customed to wearing only common socks
and the length OF the hose probably en-
barassed him.
Census enumerators receive double
pay for counting a man who owns a
goat. Exchange. Why a man thus fav
ored should be more difficult to count
than an ordinary mortal is probably one
OF the inexplicable government red tape
mysteries CnAC Will never DO puOlCly
known. II the same rule holds good
with kids all hands will join in enviously
congratulating Bro. Newton's local dep
uty in her prospective rake off.
Hon. Murphy Nix, OF Skintown. broth
er Of Sir Herbert Chatfield- Chatfield
Nix, OF Kopjville and second cousin once
removed to Hon. Chesley Nix, OF Bugg
vile, editor OF the Skintown Blackleg,
mayor, marshal sheriff. chief Of the city
scavenger department, alderman from
the first, and inventor of artificial eggs
and a 8, stem by which macaI oni may be
successfully grated into corn stalks, is
ut his former home in Skintown with
appendicitis, dead, from excessive surgi-
cal treatment. Prior to his death, Mr..
Nix was both gentleman and di:tant
relative to Gov. Thomas and also fought
with Dewey.
William Dean Howells recently made
the assertion that the best poetry Of to-
day is to be found In the newspapers
He neglects TO give an inquisitive public
any ipkling as to where to look for the
worst, however. The following is origi-
nal and will at once assume its proper