Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-07-31


town.. That was eighty years ago.
added DR.. Hale, land things are oddly
reversed. Here | have journeyed from
Massachusetts to Hampton to see an
eclipse, for | knew it wouldn't skip
Hampton.
A little girl made her first appearance
in an infants school last week Her
new friends made up to her, and, child
like, questioned her as TO her name, per-
eentage, etc, relates Spare Moments.
My dada's q gentleman. He keeps a
shop: What yours? said one mite.
Hes a beggar,' replied the new
scholar, shyly.
"Oh. I'd be ashamed to own it" cried
the other little girls in chorus.
The girl flushed red-not in shame but
with pride.
But l amt" she retorted, :. COS he's
a absent-minded heggar. And, she add,
"A gentleman in khaki, Mr.. kipling says
Yes, num-" said Tired Thompson, in
reply TO Mrs Gazzam's intimation that
he ought to be working instead of tramp
ing, yes, mum, know it. | am not
idle from choice, but l can't get the sort
of employment l want. num-"
What would you like to do!
II would like to be college president,
mum. Dc you know where | could get
that sort OF job?'-Detroit Free Press.
-:o:-
"A friend of mine has an owl room
fitted up i'll his home. Owls of all
shapes and sizes painted on the walls,
you know. Big owls and little owls,
wise owls and idiotic owls. Owls till
yon can't rest Now he wants suitable
motto to go with his pets. Can you sug-
gest anything?
y know of Scotch motto that might
do
''Hoot, monr = Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Yes, the letter carrier perspired so
that last hot day that it took nae two
hours to dry out Charities last letter SC
could read it.
Poor mani!
We'll. l don't blame him entirely. 1t
was one of Charles most melting let
tiers, and besides that he enclosed a clip
ping of an early poem by Ella Wheeler
Wilcox Plain Dealer.
The strangest golf links in the world
are in Singapore. In letter published
In the Scotsman the writer says: I'VE
played over a Chinese graveyard around
the lunatic asylum and hospital. and fin
ished on the lawn of the orphan asylum.
The links are very sporty, the tombs
serving for bunkers and other hazards.
while ball driven over the wall of the
lunatic asylum is lost, and YOU lose
stroke and distance. The tombs are
slowly being hacked to pieces by the
wild efforts of the players to get the
balls out Of the crevices in the bricks"
MIR. Flimnis is wonderfully devoted to
his wife. When they are away from
each other he writes her at least three
letters a day
Yes" answered Miss Cayenne. ''She
requires him to do that so that she can
look at the poStoftice. marks and know
exactly where he is.''-Washington Star.
A person bearing the same name as
a man who was charged at a police court
In Ireland deemed it necessary to insert
IN the local newspapers an announcement
that he was not the John Sullivan re-
Gently fined for drunkenness. The follow
ing, says the Daily Graphic. appeared
shortly afterward in all the papers con-
tanning the announcements: Il. John Sui
Hvan, who was fined los for being drunk
beg to return thanks to John Sullivan of
Ballykillin lodge for notifying that | am
in no way connected with his family"
Mr.. Watt Manners" that old man
IL. >
worth a million; and just look at his UNI
brCila.'
Mrs. t-Manners-.Oh. but you
mustn't judge him by that, dear; it
mayn't be his own, you know. brook
Ign Life.
The Family Birthday Hubby. dear,
I can't wait 20 tell what I'm going to
buy yOu.'
Darling wife. what is it?''
We'll. I'm going to get a silver card
tray, a bronze Hercules for the mantel-
piece, and new Persian rug to put i'll
the front of my dressing table. What
are you going to do for me, Tootsey?"
I've been thinking, Jane, and have
made up my mind to get you a new shay
ing brush ''-Tit-Bits.
Advice for Papa-Henrietta of Cations
vile says: My papa objects to my adj
mirers sitting on the steps and talking
with me until 4 late hour at night. He
claims that he cannot sleep on account of
our noise. What would you adviser
Advise papa to sleep in the daytime
Baltimore American.
I'm awfully fond of fresh, green vege
tables" remarked the slow young man.
Aren't your
We'll" replied the young girl, who had
engagement ring, Il just love a certain
sort of carats."
But, alas! the head upon the young
mans shoulder was a cabbage.-Phila-
delphia Press
A fat citizen of the seacoast town of
Lubec, Me-, went down ladder at the
side of a schooner to get a hammer he
had dropped overheard. He inserted his
body between the rungs of the ladder.
that he might reach down and get the
hammer from the shoal water, and be-
came stuck there. The tide was rising,
and he was rescued three hours after
ward, just in time to save him from
drowning, the water having, reached
within two inches of his mouth.
Teacher Ito pupiD-''If you don't tell
me the name of the boy who put the
pin on my chair I'll give you a whip
ping"
Pupil-'Whip ahead, sir. 1t won't be
nothin' to what that boy'll give me if l
tell on him. ''-Harper's Bazaar.
Mr.. Wamperl (who has stopped
whizZing automobile by his Signaling)---