The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-05-15

Yes, we will call it the Great Amer
lean Dietary Sausage company" inter-
rupted the major, and as purchasing
agent We'll deposit 100000 to your
credit to start on; salary to be paid
weekly or monthly, just as you elect,
and the dividends on the stock to come
quarterly. 1 need $40 to see my way
clear, but if you can't spare that sum
give me So. And there you are, sir;
there you are"
But haven't got So"
Don't neglect this golden opportuni-
ty, my dear contemporary; don't do it.
The man who invented the Welsh rab-
bit made $30O0,OO0 and lived to be 90
years old. Angel cake brought it's in
ventor $1,O0O,O0O while he lived and
monument 40 feet high after death.
Hoky poky ice cream won't be in it
with dietary sausage. Peanut brittle
and lobster salad have already gone to
the rear. Why, sir, any moment a tele-
graph boy may come in with tele-
gram from the president reading: Con
CALCULATIONS on your dietary; have
only eaten one barrel and am sure I
shall be renominated. Send another
by express. The very next mail will
probably bring unsolicited testimonials
from dGMen actresses and four or five
senators. 1t is needless for me to tell
you that delays are dangerous. Time,
tide and the dietary sausage wait for
no man. If you haven't got SIS, I'll try
and make So do. Leave your name
and So"
THE Life of Napoleon -
Never mind the Life of Napoleon
my boy. Napoleon was a great man,
but Major Crofoot wasn't on earth
then. We are not delving in the past.
but digging into the future Where
Napoleon made 500 you'll make So
OO0 Let others conquer the world by
force Of arms If they will. but we'll
conquer it by force of dietary sau-
sage. You've certainly got 50 about
you. want to get the organization
perfected today
mered the canvasser as he exhibited
the bill
"Well, III take it and make it go as
far as it will" replied the major as
the greenback changed hands, you'll
feel safer for having invested money
in the enterprise. Stock will be ready
in about two weeks. and as soon as
we can erect and equip a factory
you'll begin purchasing stock. Yes.
I'll make the dollar do, and you'd bet
ter begin posting up on meats. When
we once get started''-
"But came up here to sell you this
book'
'When we once get started, wei
use up at least 1000 tons per week,
and you must be able to tell at a
glance whether the meat is juicy
enough for our purpose. That's all
and there you are, and I'll send foI
| you when the papers are ready to be
signed. think Veil make the ground
| floor price on stock 20 cents, but maybe
we can scale that figure down little
| At any rate. there you are, and yor
can have every confidence that YOU
canvassing days are ended. Turn tt
| the right, please. and good day-gooe
day"
But listen minute. came up here
to sell your
"And don't give me away-don't d.
! it," cautioned the major as he pushed
| his caller along. Just keep mum ant
saw wood until our patent is secured
and then Well jump on the whole
world with both feet and boom dietary
sausage even to the drawing rooms O
royalty. Ground foor-$15,O0O pc
year golden opportunity. Don't mis-
/ it,
/ A minute later the canvasser found
himself on the street, and when he wa
asked what had happened him that hi
looked so put out he replied:
"Why, went up to sell man ,
/ $3.50 subscription book. and I'll b.
hanged if he didn't turn me out ant
get my only dollar in cash besides"
NJ. QUAD.