Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1900-08-29
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On the voyage to Paris: First pas
senger-Did you have breakfast sir7
Second passenger-Yes, for WHILE
Brooklyn Life.
Papa, is an authoress always mar
ried woman?" "That depends. my son.
on whether she can earn enough to sup
port two."-Life.
II couldn't sleep last night. l just
had to get up and walk around" I'm
somnia, eh?" yes. The baby had it"
Philadelphia Press.
you seem dreadfully worried"
Eyes; you see, Joined Don't Worry
Club, and 1t worries me to keep from
worrying. Post.
Muriel-Your brother proposed to me
during the service in church last Sum
day. Zoe-You mustn't mind him. He
often talks in his sleep.-Smart Set.
Heavens bless him! He showed con-
ftdence In me when the clouds were
dark and threatening" "In what way"
HE lent me an umbrella. Tit Bits.
Reasonable: Husband-I don't see
why you have accounts in so many dry
goods stores. Wlfe-Because, my dear.
1t makes the bills so much smaller
Bazaar.
wbooner Rnnn-no Won +oka n vaca.
ton this year, Merry? Merry Margin
(sadly)-Nope; I've got to spend
month at Bar Harbor with my wife,
Puck.
.pa wbofs ~, o,t,m,s+,n "a man
who somatimos hoar ~ noon,e do,ne
things met nc no would have done them
n ha' I,od ,,aan tharo ~ Ch,oo ~ Tinos.
Herald
"Isn,t vour so,,s co,,oco odncot,on az.
penslyeS. .Oh yorr Won COO no hoa
to hive silver mnnocro me- m ayorv
base.bal, ha+ no owns nMInS,anonoli.
Journal.
"Mv wifa - hoostoa t,o ,,nnr voun.
Renodtck ..is nm o,on han,, - ,naS
"NIine toon doolorod t,,a old n,or,,aa
man. ~ cnn,t shnt har ,nnnNphiladei.
phia Press.
She ION n tronsotlon+,c s+oomar,-r
read fbot hool, coinc oyer,ost vaor hut
rama,hon a,,,,as+ astn,as 49,. =.
ua-WaIl ono ,ata the - reel ~, s.oor,
ers.-Bazar.
.wo,ro onooroa n,,+ co., .,,au
novor no ohis - ,,a n ",v. We .s sn
81 snand naar,n 81, ,,,,.. .a 10y no'
har 800 49, - A iAs ~
~rhioaaa 80 N''s 'e'noAe'
Tha A,,t,,on ..,a,
onona, ~ LIT. "sn nau .,lne
,,., ~ WY souu pooh' His
49,. 80. ~ w. uaAe - .iie Auen ~.
.San anolu W am 'oo olsy "rltihs
oueeessiu1 ones'-
stubb-it was mean In that winning
cychst 10 crop bottles along the track
Tor the purpose OF haunting his rival
Penn-What was In the bottles! Stubb
-Catchup!-Chicago News.
Musician dronically)-I am afraid my
music was disturbing the people who
We're talking over there. Hostess-Dear
me! l never thought of that. Don't
play SO loudly next time.-king.
Hell don't know whether to make q
fool of myself playing golf or sit on the
hotel piazza and make love to some girl
all the afternoon. She-What's the
diIerence?-Detroit Free Press.
Fuddy = Mrs. Brownrlgg always
speaks Of her physician, DIR. Stickker,
as an "old war horse" Isn't 1t odd?
Duddy-Oh. don't know; they say he
is terrible charger.-Boston Tran
script.
Smithers-May pat your darling lit
tie PIGGY. Miss Marianne, and caresss
it7 Miss Marianne--l have no objec-
lions, Mr. smithers II you are sure you
nave no neas.-Cornwali IN. ~ School
master.
dodge-ive got SUIT OF clothes for
every DAY IN the week. Podge (suspi-
ciously)E never see you wear any but
tne one you nave on now. Hodge
!cheerruliy)-lha mars the suit.-Iown
TOPICS.
Clergyman examining Sunday
school class)-Now. can any of you tell
me what are sins of omission? Small
Scholar-Please, Sir, they're sins you
| ought 10 nave committed, ana haven't
-Iit-Bits.
The Groom (homely but wealthy
New, tell me, darling, how did you man
age to fall In love with homely chap
like me? The Bride-1 didn't. Mamma
managed the affair from start to finish.
l-Chicago News.
Imaginary Wealth.-"This man." said
the keeper softly, "imagines he has
millions" Isn't that nice?" answered
the visitor. Whenever he needs money
all he has to do is to draw on his lmag-
ination. kansas City Times.
Couldn't Fool Her: Mr.. Hiram Often
7 tnid yon3 New SarvontMo na,an,
didn't An, LOT mo foil va ,no, ~. :, : ~, ~
s.s.,,,. ~. ., =, ~" w, .