The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-04-04

The Devils Diary, as teld by himself
in the New York World:
Ii a. m.-Sheldon made speech to us,
saying we mustn't smoke. He's a frost.
IL 80 a. m.-Sheldon came fooling
around the imposing stone an got the
sponge under his elbow. New coat for
Sheldon.
1:20 D. masked Sheldon for dime
to get new cylinder for the press. He's
easy.
2:10 p. m.-Told him the Autograph
reem needed quarters worth of metal.
Wender how long he will last.
$3.50 p. m.-SheldOn told me he liked
the newspaper biz hrst-class. Went in
and asst him.
4 p. m.-Took in proofs of one o Shell
&oR's articles to him and told him it was
lulu. What's a lulu?' he said. You
are" | said. Not cent
D. m.-Ofered him chunk o. roller
fer chewing gum. Didn't bite. Catch
ing en- to the biz.
$50 p. m.-Sheldon wiped his face ON
the efice towel. All he needs is a wig
an a rag-time song to be Billy West.
p. m.-Lit a cigarette stub back of
galley rack. Sheldon's nose all right
Suspended
$40 p. m.-Sent for.
1925 p. m.-Got back. New kid hired
to Ell my place hadn't done nothin' but
Bi form. Never seen a print shop in
his life before.
$3.50 D. m.-Told Sheldon that. seem
the new principle the office was working
under, I'd forgive him.
1850 p. masked Sheldon for a raise
Good chance.
Midnight-Had square talk with Shell
don. Got the raise. Told him the edi-
tor want the whole thing. Said he
guessed that was right.
The Real Thing.-Johnny (who is jeal-
Gus of MAMMAL Mamma likes me bet
ter than she does your Evelyn (who
enjoys teasing)-'Why, no, Johnny; of
course she loves Betty and me best!
Just think. she was our mother long be-
fully)-'Hoh, what of that? You are
nothing but sample copy, anyhow!
And Betty's only a trial subscription!
But / am the real thing!'-Life.
One of the peculiarities OF Lord Eitch-
ener is that he never mentions himself,
says M. A. p. I heard the other day,
However, OF the one exception he ever
made to this rule. 1t is curious, singular
and characteristic. 1t was in Egypt and
they were on the hunt for an important
sheikh, whose capture was for the mo-
ment OF vital Importance. When Hitch
eneF had given full description of the
sheikh somebody still expressed doubt
AS to whether they would ever be able
to recognize the man amid the innumera-
bic turbans and ebbahs which are COM
mon wear in the land of the Arabs
OH! said Kitchener, you'll be sure
to recognize him, he has very blue eyes
almost as blue as mine!'
Maj.-Gen. J. ID. P. French. who is
practically the only officer who has been
uniformly successful in the South At
rican war, says M. A. p, il a universal
favorite, especially with the fair sex.
He is full of humor, fun, and animal
spirits. There is a story in the family
Of how, when quite n small boy, his sis
tiers thought it would be good for him
to conduct the family devotions, under
the impression that the responsibility in
VOWED would cause the function to leave
a deeper impression on his mind. Mas
ter Jack rebelled, but had to give in at
last. He had the best of it in the end
though. For in the prayer he had to
read on the very first day appeared the
invocation, go Lord, cut us not off as
cumberers of the ground
This passage he rendered, with con-
siderable JUNCTION. 30 Lord, cut us not
eff as cncumbers of the groundv'-con-
vulsing his audience. and putting an end
to any further request that he should
act as chaplain.
-:O:-
want you.'' said the old farmer ''to
give Bill about Sc worth o schoolin--
pervided you'll take it out in trade. Fer
instance, III start him on three bushels
o, corn; then, when that's out, I'll keep
him a-moyin'' on a couple o smokehouse
hams; I'll give you a young heifer ter
iarn him writin', an home-raised cow
ter beat figgers in his head" do you
want him to learn any of the higher
branches? We'll. after he climbs a
leetle you might throw in bout a bushel
or two O them, eff you think flor say,
bout quarter o beef's worth. Attain
Ia Constitution.
--:O:--
Sir Augustus Harris once settled the
pitch question in his own off-hand fash
ion. A famous prima donna of his opera
company came to him complaining that
the piano used for vocal rehearsals was