Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-03-20
"May | offer YOU q tract =

May | offer you tract?'
The speaker was a mild. benevolent
looking Ian, considerably past the mid
die age.
Il suppose you may" replied the elderly
citizen, whom he had addressed, but |
don't believe l can use it in my business. ;"
II can think Of no occupation, my
friend. that should be beyond reach of
those influences that tend to lead men to
a better life. If you are following an
unrighteous calling there is all the more
need of such Influences. May / ask what
your business is?'
MY business, sir. is as respectable as
yours. l am a musical director. In my
time. sir, responded the other. with evil
dent pride, Il have taught eighty-threc
mandolin orchestras.'
And you boast Of it.'' exclaimed the
man with the tracts. passing his hand
tremblingly across his forehead. My
friend. II have nothing in my yalise, |
fear. that can reach your
And he walked away, dazcd.-Boston
Globe.
"Are your sure she is as, gentle and
patient and amiable as she seems!
asked the friend Not quite sure an
swcred the young man. who is in love,
but I'm going to lind out, H9w
I'm going to get her to call somebody
up over IA long-distance telephone and
then watch her. Washington Star.
Il say. mamma" said Charlie, who
was watching his mamma battle the new
girl baby. what would happen if you
would put her in the bathtub and go
away off and leave her TO wash her own
self, like me-
I'm afraid said mamma. that little
sister would get water in her mouth and
drown.
Would it fill her all up full of water
so she couldn't howl no more" inquired
Charlie.
Yes I'm afraid it would said mann
ma. pleased with the interest Charlie was
taking in his sisters welfare
Il say, num-" exclaimed Charlie en-
Enthusiastically. lets put her in right
away. Providence Telegram.
Reception Music: Shall / sing or
play, Mr.. Boredhost:" oh. il doesn't
matter Miss Observation-Disclosures you
think you can do without interrupting
the flow of conversation. Free
Press.
There is Il man who fancies he is the
head of his house. This particular man
has several small children, and ii plcases
him to discourse a great deal on the
training of children. A few days ago
be had friends visiting him. His two
little boys began TO play about noisily.
1t is one OF his theories that children
should obey implicitly. He wanted to
let his friends sec how he carried it out
in the training of his own children
Johnny, he said sternly, stop that
noise instantly" Johnny looked up in
surprise, then grinned little. oh
Freddie" he said to his brother as they
went on with the noise, Just hear papa
trying to talk like mamma.
AT the Jacksons' last evening upset
a glass Of champagne all over Tom
pose Why, Of course. Dress suits
don't help champag ne little THAR
lem Life.
Years Not iles--Keeler- '.Weren't
YOU surprised TO learn that old Mrs
Centuary had survived century or had
You heard of it," Wheeler-"That's
news to me- | didn't even know she
rode
What's Mamie crying for?" she
wants TO vote when she grows up
We'll, what's she crying about? May be
she can vote all right" Yes hut little
Tommie Stickelbat says he WON marry
a strongminded girl ''-Cleveland Plain
Dealer
u should not think such prominent
man would care to have cheap cigar
named after him why not? He likes
to have his name in evcrybody's mouth .
brooklyn Life.
GREW LEG BONES BY THOUGHT