Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1900-11-16


ley has" Yes. He used to be the
tron-jawed man in circus. Wash
ington Star.
They're going to run the new hotel
on the European plan." Heavens!
hope the plan doesn't include tipsp-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Resort Hotelkeeper-Any guests in
this evenings train? Bus Driver-No-
body to speak of. Only single trunk
woman and "a grip gent.-Boston Tran
script.
Snarley-What's self-esteem? Vow
It's something we all hate to see in
some one else, but which is a virtue if
we possess it ourselves.-Syracuse
Herald.
What is an optimist?" asked the lad.
"An optimist," answered Mr.. Brykins,
as he took a dyspepsia tablet, sis in
most cases confounded prevaricator."
Washington Star.
Edith (coyly)-What is it the poet
says about young mans fancies" in
the spring? Backward Lover-Why-
-really-I-er-leave all that to me
tailor, We know!-Puck.
"You seem to be very much interest
ed in that couple in the middle Of the
floor" Yes; you look at them and see
if you can figure out which it is that
can't dance. e."-Chicago Record.
I'm thinking of going to the Paris
exposition. wonder how much it
would cost me- THAT depends" DE
pends on what?' ION how much you
take with you Philadelphia Press.
Hicks-The easy writer's have a deal
to say about 1.-The dead of night" When
is that, wonder? Wicks-The dead Of
night, | suppose, is when everybody is
buried In slumber-Boston Transcript.
Even the general that never wins
battle can beat sometimes" remarked
Beechwood. What are you driving.
at?' asked Homewood. "He can beat
a retreat" at."-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
What did Aunt Minerva say about
the shirt-waist manY" "She said now
he had to keep his belt in the right
place all the time he'd find out he
wasn't any smarter than woman."-In-
dianapolis Journal.
amelia, whena letter came from YOU
while you We're away | did not read it
for day at least" ''What was that
for, EDGAR" Don't you see? | saved
one days interest on the money you
asked fOr."-Chicago Record.
Language, quoted Willie Wishing
ton, was given for the concealment of
thought" Indeed" rejoined Miss
Cayenne languidly. Permit me to con-,
gratulate you on being so perfect a
master of English. h."-Washingto Star
Did you have any words with your
mistress which caused you to leave
your last placeY' "Niver a wor-rd..
Shure an OF locked her in the bath
room and TUX me things and slipped
out as quiet as yez plase. ."-Harpers
Bazaar.
william, a poor man came along
apd asked for a hat" What did YOU
doT Il gave him your Sunday hat"
what on earth did you do that for?'
We'll l knew you would need your
old oneto wear when you go fshing"-
Chicago Record.
Pa" asked little Willie, "how long
is 'decaheY" That depends, my
son. In the census department dec
ade means ten years, but to the women
who hand their ages in to the census
man it means \nythng from 0 to 1O."--
Philadelphia RI
Mr.. HenpeckE 1.-The dGSt0rN-Says 1 alb
solutely must go away next waek for a
rest. MfGSHenpeck-Goo oodness! ecaH>t
possibly manage to get away to 90
with you then. Mr.. Henpeck-Un-mi
l guess the doctor must have known
that.-Philadelphia Press.
Mr.. Gump Ito teacher)-No, DOM
want you to teach my son any gram
mar Not bit of it. Teacher-But-
but-this is unsual, sir. May | inquire
your reasons? Mr.. Gump-I intend
that he shall be a writer of popular
songs.-Baltimore American.
The Seaman-Have you ever been ON
a battleship when she clears for ac-
tion? The Landsman-No. "Wen, it
Is the most thrilling and impressive
moment you can conceive" "Oh, [
don't know. Have you ever seen golf
club champion get ready to drivep'-
Life.
Blanche-Was Mrs. Gewgaw's gar
den party "wipe-off affair? Lillian
No; it seemed to me more of a tag
end party. Blanche-A "tag-end" par
ty? Lilian-Yes; lot of people who
were invited only because lot of other