Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-01-24
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know what's good, sir."-Life.
whats the difference between foot,
ball and war;" "Foot-bal is war with
out any human object in view.-Ex-
He Din an argument-Well, thank
goodness, I'm Lot two-faeed. She
You ought to be thankful. One face
like yours Is enough.-Ex.
Teacher (angrily)-Why don't you an.
swer my question, Bobby? His broth
er Tommy answering for him.
Please, sir. he's got a peppermint In
his speech.-Tit-B Bits.
Miss Thirty smith (severely)-A man
should never call on girl after drink
ing. Jack Swift (cheerfully)-That's a
fact Many a man has become engaged
in just that way-Puck.
Fuddy-You call money STAMPS"
don't you? Duddy--And money is cur
rency. SO l suppose when you speak
of an elastic currency you refer to rub
Der stamps.-Boston Transcript
Didn't move him: well. did the boss
give you a raise?" "No." Not even
when you told hm you had grown gray
in his service?" NO. Gave me the
name of good hair-dye."-Puck.
Mr.. Snell--What are you crying for,
Elsie? His little daughter-I've just
read that the diamond mines may be
exhausted In seven years. and It's eight
before my coming out!-Jewelers'
Weekly.
"From what l hear, Mr.. Earnestly,
that son of yours at college is little
fast" "A little fastr' repeated the old
man disdainfully. "He holds the anna
lteur record as a 100-yard sprinter.
Detroit Free Press.
Wallace-There Is nothing like matri-
mony to make a man appreciate the
value OF money. Ferry-That's so.
dollar man gives to his wife does
look bigger to him than any other dol
lar.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Uncle Hiram-What kind er thing Is
that that woman's got on her neck,
! Mandy? His niece-That's a chinchil
: la collar, uncle. Uncle Hiram-Chin--
| 'chiller, hey? want to know. Blessed
IL didn't think twas a chin-warmer.
Bazaar.
"How still they are" remarked Mrs.
,Fogg, apropos of the young couple In
the next room. YES" replied Mr.
'Fogg, at reminds me of my army days.
1T was always wonderfully quiet just
previous to an engagement"
Transcript.
Diplomacy: Mrs. Neghbors-I ad-
.yertised for a plain cook last week, but
didn't receive single reply. Mrs.
! 'Nextdoor-Take my advice and adver-
tise for a goOd-looking Kitchen lady,
and you'll be oyerrun with aplica-
,tions.-Chicago News.
80 our friend is going to leave poll
tics? HE is" answered Senator Sor-
ghum, 'if he knows what's good for
him." "It is too bad to lose him; he
was such an accomplished wire-pull-
err" Yes; but he got hold of live
wire.-Washington Star.
"Oh, Tom exclaimed the bride of
six months. what do you thinkY
Mother says she wants her body ere
mated" "She does, eh?" said the hus-
band; "well, tell her to get ready, and
I'll take her over to the crematory the
| first thing in the morning,
Young lady Ito married sister)--Do
tell me an appropriate present to give
new baby. Married sister-I know
just the thing-these little jeweled
| safety-pins. Baby, darling, had one
given him six months ago and | have
worn it ever since.-Harlem Life.
what did Noah live on when the
flood had subsided and his provisions
in the ark were exhausted?" asked Il
Washington Sunday school teacher OF
! her class. 81 know" squeaked little
girl, after the others had given up.
well, what?" inquired the teacher.
DRY land"
Its Beauty Departed: Wife Crushing
| toward shop window)-Oh, look herei
Husband-W Well l declare! There is
one of the tete-a-tete lamps you were
| admirlng at Mrs. De Styles. Wife
(suddenly stopping) - Horros It's
marked "Only two dollars New
York Weekly.
Grigson-Excuse me, Mitwin, but
why is 1t that people Of your name are
generally such confounded bores? Nit
win-I don't know. How many persons
of my name did you ever know? Orig
son-By George! come to think Of it.
/ you are the only one | ever knew.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
you see, it was this way: They were
all three so dead in love with her and
all so eligible that to settle the matter
she agreed to marry the one who should
guess the nearest to her age" And
did sheg II don't know. l know that
she married the one that guessed the
st."-Pearson's Weekly.
speaking Of Cuban uprisings and In
surrections," said Wallace, 81 shall pev-
err forget one that occurred twenty
years ago. Were you present" asked