The St. Johns herald., 1900-08-25

She waited for him to come back. and
 he did.
 ''The new plan escaped your memory,
 didn't it?" said Mrs. Jobson.
 '.I guess not" said Mir. Jobson, short
 ly. "I went home to get clean hand
 kerchief, that's all. And as [ didn't find
 one andi had to buy one, after all, in
 spite of the fact that I've bought some
 2,0O0 handkerchiefs since the first of
 January, suppose the cat has eaten lem all up."
 There are at least two dozen in your drawer" said Mrs. Jobson.
 Are, hey?" said Mir. Jobson. "All I found in my drawer were three of your veils and couple of pairs of your gloves and about ST yards of that 15- cent lace you bought yesterday be- cause the man who put it on his bar gain counter needed the money. But never mind about that. Where are we going to eat? I'm ravenous."
 "Oh, any place." said Mrs. Jobson.
 "Oh, that's all the interest you have in the scheme, is it?" said NIT. Jobson.. ''You don't care whether I'm faint from hunger or not, do you?"
 "Howabout the" suggested Mrs. Jobson, naming one of the hotel resau- rants.
 "How about moving the Waldorf-As- toria down here?" said NIT. Jobson "I hope you haven't become possessed of the idea. Mrs. Jobson, that I'm going 10 pay about S12.s5 a day for our din ners, have you? Because Pm not go- ing to do any such thing. Come on. l know where we'llgo. We'll go 10 -'s They don't put on many Jugs down there, but they give you enough to cal without assessing you weeks wages for it.'
 So they went to -'s. It was very hot, and by the time they arrived there they were perspiring and uncomfort- able. Mrs. Jobson particularly so in her new, tight-itting foulard dress.
 It was just after the departments had closed, and the restaurant was so filled that they had difficulty in getting seats at all, and the places they did finally secure were about 40 feet out Of range of the electric fans. MT. Jobson gave vent to numerous "Huhs!" over this, but he picked up the regular din- ner bill of fare and beckoned a waiter. The waiter looked Mir. Jobson over carefully and went on about his busi- ness. When we passed that way again few moments later Mir. Jobson snapped his fingers for him again, this time somewhat savagely. The waiter approached the table and inclined his ear.
 "Thanks for letting me catch your eye, after sitting here for four solid hours" said Mir. Jobson. sarcastically, to the waiter. Dye think you could let us have a bite to eat, now, if we act real humble?"
 "Yessuh," said the waiter. "Ahll be back dis-uhway shotely, suh, and then the waiter went off. After about 12 he again got within MT. Job sons inger-snapping range-Mr. Job son was meantime growing things un- der his breath that caused the people at the other tables to look around at him-and once more the waiter ap- preached the Jobsons' table.
 "Look-a-here," said MT. Jobson to the waiter, do we get anything to eat here, or don't we?"
 'Yessuh. Ah'se uh-waitin' fo' yo'all's ohduh, suh," said the waiter.
 1.-Two regular dinners" said MT. Job- son.
 "De reg'luh dinnuh, suh," said the waiter, "is suhved at five o'clock, suh, an hits on'y uh quahtuh t five now, sub. Elf yo'all's wants tuh wait, sub, Ah'll tek yo' ohduh an'-"
 Madam" said Mir. Jobson to Mrs. Jobson, rising sternly and taking his nat, i've shall take our immediate de parture from this place." and then he out, Mrs. Jobson following lim.
 "Where are we going now?" said Mrs. Jobson, when they got outside.
 ''Where are we going, madam ?" said Mir. Jobson, in a tone of suppressed 'ury. 'Where else are we going but nome? We are going home to get to eat, that's where we are going, Mrs. Jobson. And the next time rou wheedle me into giving my consent o any such idiotic scheme as this-the lext time you succeed in bamboozling ne into abandoning the comforts of a lome that I have slaved and toiled for -ears to get together-the next time Eou put up a job like this on me, for he sake of getting out of the necessity 'f seeing that your husbands dinneris cooked and served for him under his own vine and fig tree-there's going to ,e a schism and a split in the Jobson amily, Mrs. Jobson, and when it's all 'ver I won't be the one wearing the ackcloth and ashes!"
 Then the Jobsons went home and lined on canned salmon, sardines, Neuf- ,hatelcheese, crackers and tea.-Wash- ngton Star.
 wHIMS OF KINGS AND QUEENS