Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-02-17
Mr.. JOBSON ON SUFFRAGE

When Mr.. Jobsou reached his home from
the Office the other evening he found his
wife entertaining in the parlor a handsome.
well-groomed, middle-aged, wholesome
looking woman, Of blitheful presence and
amlable manners. Mrs. Jobson introduced
her visitor to Mr.. Jobson as Mrs. Schen-
ectady Of New York, an old school friend,
whom have not seen since we were girls
together: she is here on business in con-
nection with the suffrage for women"
Mr.. Jobson, who had put on his Sunday
smile when he entered the parlor stiffened
when his wife mentioned the suffrage for
women" and the smile froze ON his face.
Glad to meet you, ma am" he said, aus
terely. as If he meant it to be understood
that he wasn't glad, or anything like glad.
He excused himself after two minutes Of
straight up in his chair and looked daggers
at his wife's visitor when the latter wasn't
looking at him, and then he ciomped up
stairs He heard his wife and her visitor
talking animatedly, while he sat upstairs
Juggling at his mustache and growing, "Suf-
frage. hey?' And when at last the hand
some whoiesome-looking woman departed
saying at the deer that she would meet
Mrs. Jobson down town in the morning
Mr.. Jobson descended the stairs with
heavy tread. and a scoWl that reached from
ear to ear.
Madame" said he to Mrs Jobson, as his
wife entered the parlor after closing the
door upon her visitor Il think we're about
due to have a close, searching, heart-to-
heart talk. and there isn't going to be any
better time for it than right now"
why, what has hap Mrs. Jobson be-
gan, looking at him in surprised sort Of
way.
''oh. nothing has happened particularly"
interrupted Mr. Jobson, picking up book
from table, and looking through it with
severe. judicial air, as If searching for
legal definition. Except that / was not
aligned yourself with the female suffrage
persons. Now, 1 want
But you are
II know what 1 am. Mrs. Jobson. and I
don't need to be told by any proselyte in the
Womens suffrage business what l am"
broke in Mr.: Jobson, pondereusIy. Now,
| want to tell you one or two little things
for your guidance in this matter. Mrs. job
son-1 want to make you aware Of where
1 stand on that question. l.
"But If you'll just wait min
you will permit me to say what I intend
to say. and then you may have the floor
according to the parliamentary usageS OF
your female suffrage organization, as long
as you want it," cut in Mr.. Jobson. Mrs.
Jobson. don't care pair of WORKOUT gum
shoes, personally, whether the women of
the United States, or the women Of Zanzi-
bar, for that matter. secure the right to
stand around the polls on election day, dis
tributing pastors and folders to jagged hod-
carriers, or whether they stay right where
they are with regard to the franchise until
the year 3,245. It's all one to me. 1 don't
lose any sleep over it. If they did get the
franchise universally it wouldn't affect
me or this plant in the slightest, for I'm a
resident Of the District Of Columbia, where
men are disfranchised. as well as women,
and ! expect to go right on living here and
finally have the daisies planted in District
of Columbia soil over my head. I don't
read the proceedings Of the female suffrage
m lettings. l dodge the headlines perched
over the top of that newspaper material.
NO mt Of ,,nI =,
could induce me to attend one of the female
suffrage meetings. l simply regard the
whole thing as a matter which isn't immi-
nent. which doesn't affect the course of nv
existence any more than the tribesmen's
wars in equatorial Africa affect it, and I've
slid along through this vale of tears for
matter of forty years or so without missing
a meal or batting an eye over the question
of female suffrage. L
Mr.. Jobson, if you will be good enough
to abate your flow of eloquence long enough
to listen"
''You'n just be good enough to defer your
sarcastic illusions to my flow of eloquence
until I'm through, madame" broke in Mr..
Jobson haughtily. i've got my own little
private ideas about the suffrage for women
business, of course, but Pm not going
around throwing EN- at people who don't
believe the way l do about it, and during
the past week I've ridden in the street cars
with several scores of the female suffragists
without rising in my seat and telling 'em
just what think of the proposition they
are scrapping for. Mrs. Jobson,; 1 don't
mind giving you. Tor your own Information.
brief outline of my conclusions with re-
spect to the position of woman in the
United States today. Mrs. Jobson, woman
is Tito employ a slang phrase-in the
United States today. The woman of the
fewer responsibilities than woman ever had
anywhere since the world began. We
break our necks to give her all that Is COM
ing to her and more. We slave for her and
Sfybf and Jin fny Iar to A.
incentive of our best efforts and the recip-
lent of all the results thereof. We love,
admire and honor her. We are accused by
foreign peoples of setting her up on pedes-
tai and worshiping her idolatrousiy. Be
that as it may, woman isn't getting left In
the game of civilization and progress. I'm
glad of it. I'm tickled foolish when re-
fleet upon the exalted position woman oc-
cupies in the United States today.
Hear, heart exclaimed Mrs. Jobson en-
Enthusiastically. That's just what I think"
BE kind enough to reserve your satire
until I've concluded, madame" said Mr..
Jobson severely. But. Mrs. Jobson,"-and
here Mr.. Jobson used the book for baton
wherewith to emphasize his remarks-"I'm
agin female suffrage. 1 may be out Of date.
1t may be that l ought to have lived in
the era Of the shepherd kings OF Egypt,
Mrs. Jobson. But, anyhow, and for all
that. stand pat on that declaration-Im
agin female suffrage They can suffrage
legislature from the pine-clad hills of Maine
to the golden sands of the Pacific"
Hear, heart! interpolated Mrs. Jobson.
but don't want any suffrage grated on
my own vine and fig tree. And, what is
more to the point, madame" here Mr..
Jobson rose up on his toes and looked real
savage-'I don't intend that there shall be
any such grating. / don't intend that any
female suffragists shall come a-loping up
here to my house for the purpose of at
tempting to poison the mind of my wife
against
But you are completely and entirely
mis-"
tempting to poison the mind of my wife
against me and the methods employ for
the operation of my own household If
you've got any kick coming about me- all
you've got to do is to resolve yourself into
committee of one, draw up your bill of
complaint and hand it to me. If the indict-
ment Is worth consideration it'll be prop
erly considered. But 1 do not-understand
me distinctly, Mrs Jobson-I do not, not,
not, purpose that my home and f1reside
shall be invaded by lot of women who
think the world is agin them and who, con-
sequently, take 1t to be their mission in life
to embitter the minds of happy, con-
tented married women against their hus-
bands and protectors. ! spose that one
that was here told you, Mrs. Jobson,
that because Pm beginning to get a