The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-03-01
MAJOR OTEY'S
HUMOROUS SPEECH
In Opposition to Porto
RiCan Tariff Bill.
HADCLosE ATTENTION
And Evoked Applause and Laughter
From Both Sides.
| PLAYS ON MEMBERS NAMES
And O1imics Their Style OF Delivery to
the Amusement OF All. the Victims
IncIudcd-Tk Speech Lasted
for Ten Minutes, During
Which the House Was
in II Roar.
PLAYS ON MEMBERS, NAMES
Washington Bureau. The Times,

No. 5l5 Fourteenth street.
WASHINGTON, Feb. 2s-Spec!al.-Rep
resertative Ctey to-tl.ry delivered ono OF
the best and most humorous speeches on
the Porto Rican tariff bill that has ever
been heard In the halls of Congress Mr..
Otey held the close attention of the
House, and during the course OF his
speech was literally applauded by botL
Democrats and Republicans. His speech
follows:
sMr. Chadrman,-I have not bothered the
House much with my legal and CnnEyti-
tutional lore, and, therefore, I ask that
be given ten minutes by unanimous
consent
wish YOU would note the time. Mr..
Chairman, exactly twenty minutes pas.
II. GLaughter.) Mr.. Chairman, the Re-
publican party in this House reminds me
of friend of mine who had a very
swift greyhound That greyhound ran
without smell. but by sight. One day he
was going with such Swiftness that he
struck u perpendicular wire fence with
his nose and It split him right in two.
Ihe owner of the dog, having studied
anatomy and knowing some thing about
that principle, osmosis, thought If ne
should put him together right away he
would grow. and live. So he stuck him
toSelueF,t u ie" QttyS uller'W3FQS
friend met him and asked him how tho
dog was getting on. He said: 'He is
the best dog I ever saw How Is
that?" He said: When / put him to-
gether I put the half with the head
down next to the half with the tail. and
he grew together, and now he is tho
finest dog YOU ever saw. because nc
can run both ways, and he can bark
at both ends (Csreat hughtcr.) sSsez.s.
- fli.A;v, 6f,,-4 II :
Chairman. that this applause doesn't
come out of my time. When the Re-
publican party had passed case of
protracted labor with n great. but q
serene Payne Qaushter), and when tho
baby showed no signs whatever of Ding
ley paternity, 1t was charged THAT Payne
was It's papa, and he deserted it and
sent it to the orphanase. and substi-
tuted q deformed grantichild Of rhe
Dingley persuasion. daughter and ap-
plause.) He admitted that he was
it's adopted father. but said that its Par-
entage was unknown to him, and that
he was responsible for not fiber OF its
frame nor 4 bone in it's body. but that
he had taken it under its wing to ralaa
it on a bottle OF DingIey soothing
uyrup.
AS the poet says:
How bitterly he must have wept, how
little he m ust have felt.
Being obliged to adopt an illegitimate
waif. and let his own offspring die.
HE FELT SMALL. -
It may be. my friends. that it may he
for his good. 1t reminds me of white
man in my district that once voted the
Republican, ticket. He went posss!n
hunting that night, and sne rain c:,Eie
up and he had no shelter except 70 crawl
into hollow log. When he crawtsd in
there the log began to swell, and us it
got larger -on the outside 1t got Snat,a.-
on the inside, and the hole got 50 t!shss
in there tina he couldn't .;st1ottt. .'.I he
commenced to think of an The me an
things that he ever did In his life, and
finally 1t occurred to him that he had
voted the Republican ticket that dny-
and he felt so small and little that ne
slipped cut Ike he was in oil Oaugh-
ter.) That may be of use to my genial
friend from New York (Mr. Payne).
Now, want to discuss this thing on its
constitutional grounds. fLaughter9
listened with respectful attention to the
distinguished gentleman from Pennsyt-
vanaa-I believe he Is from PeTlnsyiva-
MIA mean Mr.. Dalzelr. G,aughtar on
the Democratic side). We more prorni-
uent members CT Congress do not know
these obscure members. and am not Z
sure where he comes from. Re1ewed
laushter.) I listened with patience. and
IL I had not happened to have seen q +
copy OF the Constitution IN print. oa1 K