davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
THE JERICHO posT.offIcE.
Pap Perkins, Postmaster. Tells How the
Jericho Fire Gsmpans Was Busted.

The Jericho fire company. which con-
sisted OF forts men. ten pals. two axes.
and a ladder ana all painted red except
the men, is no more on earth. II was or
gaBized fhirteeG years ago and never
turned out To but one FIRE Nobody had
fOand any fault with If, however. up TO
two months ago. when Reube Holdfast
came into the pest-offlee one day and
says 10 me:
Look here. Pap. this town OF Jericho
is deader'n a dooraail. and unless sun
thin kin be done 10 rouse her the moss
on our backs will be foot long in an
other year"
What kin you dO?" says I
That's what I've bin thinkin' Of fur
the last month. We can't git up cog
fights nor hoss races, and nobody will go
IN fur a brass band or a camp meetin'
The only thing ] kin think Of Is to resur-
rect the fire company and boom her fur
all she's wuth. II We kin git things
a-goin' red hot, Jericho will wake up and
push 10 the front till Ch:aagO won't be
in IL. I'm gittin' fggers together fur a
speech, Pap, and you jest lay low fur
three or four days. and you'll hear sun
thin drop"
Before the week was out everybody in
town knew that sunthIn' was up. and one
evening Reube shot of his speech to the
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
Campnixn Anecdete Of Lacey.

The Iowans place Mai Lacey high
among campaigners One OF his col
leagues delighted the cloakroom with this
anecdote about him: Mr. Lacey was
elected 10 Congress for the first tine in
1855, over Gen. j. b. Weaver. VINO mad
three times been elected in the district
One Of the most notable campaigns ever
made In Iowa was Waged between these
two men. They had joint discussions in
every county. and the people turned cut
en- nasse at the meetings. The main IS
sues that year were the Mills bill and ;ns
question OF free trade. Nh Lacey used
the argument so common in that cam
paign. that the Mills bill was In the in-
terest OF the English manufactures and
against the American workman A. New
ton, Iowa, the speakers stood under the
courthouse portieo. with vast throng in
front OF them. The Sackville-West af-
fair had just occurred, in which the Brit.
ish Minister had written a letter advising
all naturalized Englishmen to vote the
Democratic ticket. Mr.. Lacey, of course,
made good use OF this incident
Gen. Weaver closed the debate that day.
and just as he was nearing the last part
of his very eloquent and beautiful perora-
ton two birds f1uttered down in front of
him from the pOrtico above and hung
balanced in the air few feet in front Of
his breast They iiuttered playfuilv
against each other and remained in the
same position for perhaps thirty seconds
The general caught the inspiration Of the
situation and throwing up his hands and
raising his eyes toward heaven. said IN
earnest tones: The very birds in the air
bring happy Omens of our victory" Quick
as fash Maj. Lacey spoiled all this ora
torical effect by rising and crying out:
Beware Of them, general! They are Eng
lish sparrows."
Here the generals time expired and the
crowd dispersed. laughing and shouting.
Until the end of the campaign every one
talked Of the pestiferous English spar
rows nesting in the bosom OF the elo-
quent general. Gen. Weaver in accounting
Tor his defeat, always gave considerable
weight 10 this incident.
CHAMP CLARK.
Copyright, 1900. by Champ Clark
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04

It's an old saying that "sli work ard
no PLAY makes Jack a duh boy" That
is most probably tue, and the philosophy
underlying that pIoyerb OF contained In Il.
whichever you please. accounts foT the
fact that C0ngTeEsmen Ike to congrt gate
Ia the CloakrOomF AID crack jokes with
eath other. BIT. let nobody jump 20 the
conclusion. either from these stories or
.or any other reason, that Representa-
tives and Senator's put ~ most 81 their
time playing. Quite the contrary. OF
course. there are men in Congress. as IN
every other walk OF life, who are nat
urai-bOrn and inCorrigiDIe sluggards, who
would r6t work under any circumstances
whatever. but most Of them follow one
hslf ot Lord EldOn's advice 10 a young
lawyer; Work like horse" even though
they eschew the other half. Live like a
hermit ! have worked as a farmland
hired ore AZ thst-clerked IN a country
store, taught all sorts Of schools. from
the old log schOolhOuse with slab seats
10 the presidency Of a college; run eoun-
try newspaper. where I was editor, re-
porter. soliciting agent bOOkkeeper, and
mailing clerk; practiced law tweEty-four
years and yet I will make my affidavit
that, excepting my service in the legisla-
ture Of Missouri. ! never worked as hard
or as many hours out Of the tWenty-four
as | do IN Congress
Take another example: Maj John F.
Lacey, OF Iowa. was an active and sue
cessful country lawyer; yet he told me
not long since that he works more here
than he ever did before IN his life, either
In the army or at the bar. Representa-
uves do not complain OF the work. am
not complaining No man that ! ever
heard Of was compelled to come TO Con-
gress. Though Mai. Lacey is an indefati-
gable worker he takes a few minutes OF
once in while 10 spin a yarn in the
cloakrOom
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
GEN. LEE AS A SOLDIER.
characteristics of the Great Leader View.
ed By His son.

r. E Lee. jr.. In Leslies Monthly.
The day after the first battle Of Cold
/ Harbor, during the seven days fighting
| around Richmond, was the first time 1
met my father after | joined the army.
| The tremendous work JacksOn's men had
performed during their campaign in the
valley, their rapid march from there 10
Lees left flank at Richmond, the short
TatiOns, the bad water. and the great heat
had begun 10 tell upon them. On the
morning / allude To my battery had not
moved from its biyouac grounds OF the
previous night, but was parked in an open
field. waiting orders. Most Of the men
were lying down, many sleeping. myself
among the latter number To get some
shade and be out Of the way had era 9led
under a caisson and was siumbering p:o-
foundly, making up many lost hours Of
rest. Suddenly l was rudely awakened by
some comrade proddIng ne with a sponge
stan, as / had failed TO be aroused by his
call, and was told to get up and come out,
as some one wished 10 see me Half
awake, ] staggered out and found myself
face 10 face with Gen. Lee and his stan
Their fresh uniforms bright equipments
and Well-grOOmed horses cOntrasted 20
fOrcibly with the war-Worn appearance
OF our command that | vas completely
caZed. Ii took me a minute or two 10 re-
aliZe what IL all meant, But when | saw
my fathers loving eyes and kind smile IL
ali became clear 70 NE. and / knew that
he had ridden by 10 look me up and shake
ne by the hand. / remember well how
curi0usly those who were with him gazsd
az me. and ] am sure that IL must have
struck them as very odd that such dirty.
ragged, unkempt youth could have been
the son Of this grand-looking man ami
victorious general
After AcClellan's change Of base 10 Hsr-
Eison's Landing. on James River, the Con-
federste army lay inactive around Rich
mond. ] had short fUrlOugh on account
OF sickness and vas sent into town. met
ny mother al the door or her house, Aad
she did not recognize me. When she
found out that this dreadful-looking erea-
ture Nas her son she Immediately had rae
put into bath and all my clothing. in
cludlng hat and shoes. burned In the back
yard. / do not think / was In a worse
soldiers. Poor fellOwsi They all needed
such treatment about that time.
We OF the Tsnks had our opinions on all
subjects. ana freely discussed the ar
mics. their generals what they did what
they should do. and what they had left
undCne IL there was one point on which
The entire army was unanlmcus-I speak
Of the rank apd hle-it was that Ye were
rot in the least araid Of Gen. Pope, ana
were perfectly sure Of whipping him whea
We could meet him. / quote here from two
letters OF Gen. Lee, from which se may
infer that this feeling NAV possibly have
extended &c our officers. In 4 letter 10
my mother from near Richmond. dated
July a. Iss. :. When you writ. 10
Rob again. tell him 10 catch Pope for me.
and also bring IN his cousin Louis Mar
shall who, am told Is on his stan. I
could forgive the latter fighting against
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
Copyright. 1900. by Champ Clark.
END OF EASTERN WAR,
How Peace Was Made Between china and


Hon Charles DENLY. in the Forum
The coast, therefore was left free for
dir set proposals to be made by China 10
Japan for peace. In an interview with
the yamen on November % 1894. it WAS
stated TO the ministers that | was will
ing 10 forward TO Tokyo, through Mr.
Dun, our minister, a proposal to negotiate
for peace The members of the yamen
were delighted al the prospect Of obtain
ing peace, and urgently begged me 10
proceed Immediately Accordingly I
wired TO Japan that China desired TO omen
negotiations for peace on the basis of
the independence of Korea and the paw
ment OF a reasonable war indemnity
Japan answered that she was willing TO
negotiate, but that she would dictate
the terms OF peace.
IL would be needless TO recount here the
substance OF the numerous dispatches
which passed between the two govern
mcntS through Mr. Dun and myself as
Intermediates. There was vast amount
of labor expended by China in an endeav-
or 10 find what Japan meant TO demand
as the conditions Of peace, and besides
there always remained i'm the minds of the
Chinese statesmen the idea that ultimate
ly Russia and France would intervene
For these reasons the departure of the
Chinese ENJOYS was delayed until late in
January, 1895. February l The plenipoten-
tiaries, composed OF Count Ito and Wis
count Mutsu for Japan, and Chang In
Hoon and ShaO Yu Lien for China. met
at Hiroshima, Japan. 10 make treaty.
I knew that the Chinese statesmen had
had little or no experience in drawing
papers of this kind. and before the en-
YoyS left Pekin | suggested that 1 would
draw the full powers for the Emperor
to sign. | was requested to do So |
procured from my French colleague a
form which had been used by Louis Phil
ippe, translated IL into English, then into
Chinese, and sent IL TO the yamen. The
next day | visited the yamen and in
quired whether the paper had presented
had been signed by the Emperor The
ministers OF the yamen told me that they
changed the wording 4 little 10 suit the
Chinese idiOm, but that they had not ma
terlally altered the paper; and they add
ed that the Emperor had signed IL The
paper actually bore no resemblance to Ihe
complete document which had prepared
The Chinese ENJOYS were ordered 10
leave Japan Immediately. When they ar
rived at Nagasaki | wired 10 Chang az
rec ing him 10 present my full powers"
10 the Japanese. He answered that the
Emperor had refused 10 sign them. I
then wired 10 Japan, asking that the en-
VOys might be allowed 10 remain in Japan
and complete their work. / offered 10
wire full powers. and 10 send them bv
a messenger as soon as navigation opened.
But Japan was then engaged in taking
Wei-Hai-Wei. and refused all DELAY.
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
Request. Received by Consres.meu.

One day a coteTie of Congressman were
swapping experiences as 10 requests
which they received from their constit-
uents and others. Maj. Lacey said: "On
one occasion / received a letter from a
man In Nebraska asking for copy OF
the Congregational Record containing
Mr., Cousins speech. / also received a
letter from an old soldier OF the Fourth
Arkansas Union cavalry. who wanted a
pension on the ground that he had con
tracted the yaller janders and brown
keetis In the civil war"
Maj. Lacey continued: Congress pub
nshes handsome volumes OF memorial
addresses containing eulogies of the de-
ceased members, delivered by their col
leagues On one occasion, when the rules
OF The House We're being debated, and
the question Of making provision to set
apart time for the exercises was being
considered, / read a letter received by
me from a gentleman out In Iowa, saying:
Dear S,r-Please send me some volumes Of me-
mortal addresses. There il nothing / read with 50
much pleasure as the obituaries Of Copgrcss ssmen
IOuTs truly
And / was never able TO determine
whether my correspondent was in fun or
In earnest.
''On suill another OCCASION" said Mfr.
Lacey, Il received an application for the
appointment of a postmaster from a gen.
ueman who described himself as the
first born mail child in the county in
which the office was located. This was
another one of the instances where was
In doubt whether the applicant was in
jest or In earnest"
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
WHEN MABEL GOES A-Fisnisa.

When tender Jrne f. In the land,
And wood &hi E0ld are ringing ty1
With melody Of D4pERss band g's
And mating birds are singing; g
When bush ana tree Of hill and slsa
Their happy leaves are sSishlng
In tine - springs sweet str.iHs. Eky then-
Then Mabel gees a-nzhingi
The A. is cast. (Ah. he's . fool
Who'd hes from BssEtys wsuHdInED
Aboye the silent. sun-secSsd poei
The reels shrill song ss sounding:
And AL the little Gshea race
AS fast az e'er they're able
70 kisa the ripPle Eirored face
OF cruel. sinsCme Mabel
Al. Master wsiroH. ser, yea here.
Were thiS the River Dove.
The scene would eyeTmose enesaE
To you the sport y0a love:
You'd IDLY sit. a. l. Sans doubt;
"A seula fall te wishing
That y0g were Just spsoklee trout
Wksa NAbel sSes s-EaAlHgl
-1hs Smart Set.
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
Wanted Humorous Lectures.

These strange requests related by Mai
Lacey reminded me OF some which have
myself received. For instance. a Democrat
up IN Michigan. perfect stranger, who in
some way had heard OF me, wrote me To
send him By return mail full set OF the
Congressional Record and debates since
the foundation OF the government, which
are very hard 10 find, and when found
cost about 500, the latter being more diff
hcult 10 ma than the Records themselves
rms ana other Ike requests convince me
that many persons think that Repre
sentative or Senator can get an unlimited
number OF any and every book. document
ana speech free, which is a great mistake
Another man-one Of my own constitu-
ents-wrote me 10 ask that / prepare him
TWO humorous lectures, eacn an hour ana
Il half long, which he proposed TO deIivel
over the country for pay. | answered bi,,
that L could not write lectures. humoraus
or otherwise, At any time, as a merchant
could sell his goods; that | had IA waIr
tl!i the spirit moved me and Thar in an
human probability il would take noe two
months 10 comply with his request ~ I
dld nothing else, which / could nor affor5
but mere Is the most astounding and
PrePostercus request ever made of mo
hlshI ln the middle Of Mr. Bailev's gr.,t
speech or the Porto Rican question IN
"hich was intensely Interested a stran-
ger sent his card in, ard ! went out IN 500
what ne wanted He was a preacher In
the denomination to which | belong. He
wanted me 10 get Speaker Henderson's
consent for me 10 address the House for
Ten minutes and take up a collection 10
buy 4 tent Tor my ministerial brother 10
hold a protracted meeting In or under on
some vacant lot In Washington, OF course
] natiy and uncetemoniously refused TT
had preferred such a request TO Sneaker
Henderson in his room he would have
Laughed I'll he could have been heard al
The navy yard. IL / had preferred in in
the House, he would have promptly and
properly refused it, and II, by reason IF
It's sheer righteousness, he had granted
il, and / had made such a speech. IN.
members OF the House and OF the press
gallery would have made my life a bur-
Gen with their gibes SO long as stayed In
Congress. Perhaps IL would not have
been any more out Of place than many
speeches which are smuggIed into the
Record. but I did not possess gall sufR-
Cient 10 make the attempt
Sull another friend wrote me 20 send
him s. and ask each and every Represen-
taiive and Senator 10 send him a five In
order that he might complete hls educa-
ton. So far as / am aware, he only re-
celyed one s. bill.
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
Mai. !.aeey's Retsrt,

Quick Tetorts IN debate. especially in
The House. are always enjoyed by both
sides. When the House was considering
the pension question In 1888 there was
much feeling among the Union soldiers
owing to the action OF Hon. Hoke Smith
OF Georgia, Secretary Of the Interior, in
cropping many thousands Of pensioners
from The rolls. Mr.. Lacey was a member
Of the Invalid Pension Committee. and
was discussing the question tn general
debate on the pension appropriation Dill
Col. Livingston, OF Georgia. interrupted
him with the statement that there were
thousands Of fraudulent pensioners and
that their names were properly dropped
by the Secretary. Mr. Lacy replied.
What the soldiers complain of is that
while ia lsG4 the boys In blue were march
ing through Georgia, In lss Georgia is
marching through the boys Ia blue"
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
senator chlltss,. Anseae,e.

Mr.. Lacey IL the author OF ''Lacey's
Railway Digest" consisting OF two pom
derous volumes. embodying all the rail-
road csses IN the English language.
Senator Chiffon tells a good story Of one
0f bis experiences In the Texas courts
Two practitioners in the circuit got into
wordy war In the presence OF the court.
on the table between them lay "Destey's :
Federal Procedure" a small pocket vol
uns II ane print. and by It lay one OF the
great volumes Of ''Lacey's Railway Di-
gesi-" The personalities grew furious.
and one OF the attorneys seized "Destey's 9
Procedure and hurled IL al his opponent
The judge promptly adiudged the assault
ing lawyer guilty Of contempt OF court
and gave him an opportunity 10 speak N
his own behalf as 10 the amount OF fine
70 be imposed. Your honor" said the
culprit Il have no malice IN my heart
'against my brother at the bar ] only
threw 'Destey's Procedure at him when I
might haze crushed him with Lacey ;
Digest The huraor OF the situation
mellihed the court and the fine was made
nominal.
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
PHILLIP. Brssk.a.aNur...

Prom the Ladies Hsns ysernsl
DR.. Brooks was calling on some OF hls
poorer parishioners one day aud found
one woman looking very tired and rniser.
able. with several little children ana on.
small baby under her care he told her
she 0ugnt to 20 ogt and take a walk WITH
ne older children. the day being a h~srt-
tiful one. She replied that she had no one
sith whom she could leave the baby.
Leave u with me-" answered Or
Brooks. And he remained with the babv
until the woman returned, brighter and
better Tor the breath VI fresh air she had
obtained
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
RecOllections of the Famous
Leader of the House.
HIS FACE SEEN on A CIGAR BOX
still Remembered by the Oid-fimers. but
His Career Il Net Familiar 10 the Yonng.
er rGeHeratisa-BiIter Eaemy of Andrew
Johnson and Was Deeply disappointed
Because the Impeachment Proceedings
Failed 10 Remove Him from Office.

While purchasing a cigar in a Pennsyl-
vania avenue store yesterday, a Post re-
Porter noticed box with the name Of
Thaddeus Stevens on the lid. The familiar
hetchet-like face, the keen. fierce eyes.
shaded by very heavy eyebrows, and the
lzrge Roman nose were recognized even
In the poor picture of the old statesman.
once leader of the House. His best pie
lures. however. are said to do but little
justice 10 the striking, clean-shaven face,
surmounted by the brown wig always
worn awry on the fine-shaped head.
stevens home was in Lancaster, Pa.
long noted for its cigar manufactures
Stevens was a Whig in the early days OF
his political aspirations. and became "A
most radical Republican He had an m
tense hatred Of slavery, and spent muci,
in gifts TO needy colOred people
A better running debater than Stevens
was not known IN his days and he was
held in wholesome respect by his antago-
nists, SO Keen were his weapons Of satire
and rIdicuie
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
Heading Oa au Insult,

From the Smart Set.
Prom Kentucky, chs" said the hotel eIerk.
smilirEy.
Yes sab" replied the man who had lust regis-
tered: but aud there vas dangerous CLEAN
in his eye. 4 am not membsh. sab, Of the leg
islafuFr sal
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
DeheFsetlzed.

On another occasion. when Mr. Lacey
vas discussing the silver question and
speaking OF the famous "cTime OF lgl2 ."
br. KEN. OF Nebraska, Interrupted him
with this inquiry: Suppose that Congress
should pass a Law fcrbldGlng the use OF
white horses. would not this destroy their
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04

That incident In a small way recalls the
famous declaration Of Lord Give when he
vas impeached on the charge OF having
plundered the East InGians Of fabulous
sums. Admitting that he had accepted
presents which made him vastly rich. in
fine burst Of Indignation he exclaimed.
BY heavens, sir. when think Of my op-
Dortunities. I am ast0unded az my own
moderat!onp
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04

valus7" Mr. Lacey replied. That reminds
ne of a Nebraska man who the other day
said that electricity as a motive power
should be done away with; that IL had
dehorzetized the horse and ruined the
horze-raIsefs OF Nebraska"
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
First Choice Of Seats.


He sas always given the first choice Of
seats in the House. and after the gentle
man from Pennsylvania had chosen the
seat he wanted, the drawing would begin
for the rest of the members.
stevens was o cripple: he hau a club
loot and walked with difficulty For two
years previous TO his death the old states
nan could not even hobble from his lit
tie. Old-fashioned brick house. on Capitoi
Hill, up the east Capitol steps and into
the House. Two strong attendants car
lied the old man, seated in a large, COM
Portable chair. He looked for all the
world like Roman conqueror at the head
of his legi0ns, his stern, implacable face
and dignlfied bearing accentuating the
similarity.
Stevens possessed a fund of merciless
sarcasm. His victims were selected re-
gardless of their political strength One
incident OF old Thad's sharp tongue *
still related by old-timers around the
House. 1t was during a debate ia which
were pitted against each other Stevens
ana Horace Maynard, of Tennessee, a pol
ished orator. Maynard was tall and
straight, with a rather swarthy complex
ion. His black hair was worn well down
over his coat collar, the entire make
up giving him the appearance of civ
ilized Indian. Maynard's address was a
scholarly one. and closed with one or Two
Latin quotations.
When old Thad hobbled TO HIS feet to
reply to Maynard's argument, the House
listened for something good, and was not
disappointed. Stevens proceeded TO answer
his opponents arguments in his usual
satirical and sharp manner 1t the close
he turned TO Maynard. who sat several
seats away, and sent this parting shot:
so much for the geEtlenan's English
AS 10 his ChoctaT. 1 90 not profess 10
understand it,"
salary Given TO Charity.
Beneath Stevens grim and forbidding
exterior there beat a heart as true and
generous as any mans. Almost all of his
salary was spent IN charity, while, he
lived modestly, If not frugally, in a small
two-story brick house on East Capitol
street. In this dwelling ne lived alone.
but for an old negress, who worked tor
him, washed his clothes, and atteaSed to
Linn as if he were three-year-old child
instead of the great cCmmOner." as the
newspapers were wont 10 call him. After
his death IL was found in Stevens will
that. excepting a comfortable provision
for the faithful negress, the estate was
left 10 found a colored orphan asylum in
Lancaster.
Andrew Johnson's bitterest enemy was
Thad Stevens. One of the keenest dis
appointments of Stevens life was the
failure of the Senate TO remove the Presi-
dent by conviction in the Impeachment
trial.
Stevens never married. During his lat
ter days his nearest relative was
nephew. In Lancaster the statesman
memory is still foudly cherished by the
old eSi1ents, who remember his blame
less bachelor life and his many acts OF
charity
The Washington weekly post., 1900-09-04
THE WEEKLY Po,T, Use.

Farm Journal. SOC.
Richmond Times fseai-wsekiyJ u
American Queen. q.
Special price for the four only 'LD.
The Weekly Post, 73e.
rsrm and Home. Eoc.
Pocket Dictionary.
Pocket Atlas.
Special price for the four only &.
20, f,ss sample copies address the saslisas''| ,
each pspsr direct