davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm review., 1900-07-18
Elect Chicago Man President.

Cincinnati, July 16 The National
Association Of Retail Furniture Deal
.ers elected John n. Smy tn, Of Chicago,
president .ssss
New Ulm review., 1900-07-18
lChicaxoan Defeat. Californian.

San Francisco. July, 16.. Jack Moi
fatt, Of Chicago, got the decision over
al Neil. Of California, in the Goth
round Of q glove cont the Mechan-
ics' pavilion.
New Ulm review., 1900-07-18

Washington, July 16. The census
office issued its first bulletin Saturday.
giving the population Of the District of
Columbia at 27s,718 This Is an in
crease since the last census of 4s, 1926, or
s2O.98 per cent. a* 81 sss E5
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Devotees of Rndiahen-

And now we find the radish has its
deVotees, and that among men of
marked intellectual ability. The great
Alexander Dumas preferred the little
red vegetable to all other delicacies.
claiming for it great brain stimulative
properties. His beautiful garden at
Monte Cristo abounded in them, and
each morning he could be seen pacing
up and down the fiower-bordered paths.
a crust of dry bread in one hand. a few
freshly-picked radishes in the other.
munching away with keenest enjoy
ment. Gambetta shared this taste.
and, summer or winter, insisted that
his table be furnished with them, send
ing to all parts of the globe for them
according to the season of the year.
Monselet, too, could never pass a mar.
ket without purchasing a bunch of rad
ishes, which he would eat as he went
on his, way. When congratulated upon
finally obtaining the decoration for
which he had labored so long he replied
that "he appreciated it above all, be.
cause he could now eat his radishes in
the street, thanks to that bit of red
ribbon, without being mistaken for his
own servant returning from the mar
ket.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
ifjgF767)1
Not Thnt Kind nf Man.

"Now," said the lawyer, please be
little more explicit. You say these
poor children when you saw them the
second time were wan and ragged
and"
mo, sor," the witness interrupted.
"Oi didn't say they were wan. They
was three of them and all as thin and
pale as ghosts wild hardly a whole
dress beehune thin. Chicago Times
Herald.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Only Human.

When a man receives a quarter which IL
palpably of lead,
His remarks before a clergyman could
scarcely be resaid.
He raves about dishonesty and snorteth
with contempt
More righteous Indignation, surely, mortai
never dreamt-
And ne'er a smiling countenance doth this
same man present
Until he's passed the quarter on some un'
suspecting gent.
Town Topics.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Ambition.

Mr.. Bingo--I don't see why you dis
charged the girl, for she was the best
servant we ever had.
Mrs. Bingo-That may be, but was
over at Mrs. Kingsley's, next door, yes
terday, and she has discharged eight
girls in two weeks, and l had only dis
charged seven. 1t would never do to
let her get ahead of me.-Harlem Life.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Tn Ell theWnrk-

"What kind of music" asked the
leader of the mandolin orchestra, "do
you think your wife will want?"
"Well," said the man who had called,
''it's sewing society of some kind
that's to meet at the house. I guess
any kind of ragtime music would be
appreciated. Chicago Tribune.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Why It Reconctled Them.

Kind Lady Visiting prison)-Poor
men, I suppose it is quite a relief to
you, however. that your wives are
permitted to see you once a week?
Spokesman-Yes, indeed, lady; it
sorts O. reconciles us. to Jail life.
Kind Lady-Ah, how touching!
Spokesman-Yes; you see, de war
den won't let dem come in but de once
a week.-Baltimore American.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Not in Form.

"I've asked you to marry me, Miss
Highup. I'm a plain, blunt man, and
I have startled you with my sudden
ness. Take your time to think about
it.. It's standing Offer"
You'll have to make it kneeling
offer, Mr.. Weldon, before 1 can even
consider it. t."-Chicago Tribune.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
knew Her Limitations.

Hubby-I don't see why you do not
exert yourself to make me happy.
Wifey-Why, of all things! You
know you told me when accepted
you that I had made you the hap
piest man on earth. What is the use
of my trying to improve on sthat?--
Baltimore American.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
stiu Unconvinced.

Benedick-It is said that most of the
people who commit suicide are un-
married. How are you going to get
around that?
O'Batch--Oh, well, 1 s'pose after fell
low has been married awhile he gets so
he can put up with almost anything."-
Chicago Times-Herald.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
How the QaarreI stasted.

Austere Lady-Madam. your child i
annoying me with its attention.
wish, you would keep it to yourself.
Mother fsuppressing l.er anger)-
OH you must excuse him. He think
you are his grandmother, and he i
very fond of her.-Tit-Bits
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Where the Trouble Lies.

"Do you know much about the train
ing of children?
do I?" returned the fond father.
swell, you bet I do. I know a whole
lot, and if children weren't so con-
trary and unappreciative I'd have the
beEt-trained bunch in the neighbor-
hood. Chicago Times-Herald.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Cruel.

She was boasting of her latest con-
quest.
"The first thing I knew" she said,
che was at my feet"
"Who threw him over?" asked her
dearest friend
Of course it is well known that
these little pleasantries are not un'
usual between feminine friends.-N,
Y. World.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27

Sef-Possessed Bather-Why, my
good fellow, you mustn't bite me.
s. Hungry Shark--Why not?
8 why I'm the proprietor of the
Skinnem and Fleecem. Grand hotel
don't cher know; professional courte
siesi Ha! ha!"--N. Y. World.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27

Women in China have the privilege
of fighting in the wars. Nm the rebel
lion of 1850, women did as much fight
ing as men. At Nankin, in 1858 i5eey.
600 women from various parts of the
country t5were, formed into brigades of
$4,000 each. under female officers. Of
these soldiers, 10000 were picked WON
en-, drilled and garrisoned in the city
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
More Emphatic.

81 beg, beseeeh you, to be my
wife," he pleaded. "Oh, do not say
No"
''Mr. Nervy," replied the fair crea-
ture, 81 had not thought of saying
No to you. know you would not take
that for an answer, So" as he moved
closer she stopped him with gesture
and continued-"permit me to say:
Not on your ife!'" = Philadelphia
Press.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Going Up the Hill.

In climbing up to Fortune, they
Alone are great who go
Ahead, content, from day to day. =
To win new heights, nor stop to throw
Stones at the ones who toll below,
Nor heap things in the way.
Chicago Times-Herald.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
His Opportunity.

Miss Atkyns-Do you know, some
times it seems to me that the pret-
tiest girls marry the homeliest meni
Mr.. Wilkyns (promptly)-Am I
homely enough for you, Miss Atkynsi
-Somerville Journal
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Looked For. But Undesired.

Raggles-Wot yer doin', Weary, wit.
de tellerscope?
Weary-Lookin' fer work! W'oI
fer?
Weary-So's I kin avoid it. wuA
jest sizin' up de houses round here ter
see eff 1 can't strike wan dat keeps
gasserline can instid Nv a wood
pile.-Leslie's Weekly.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Her .EeeIinss Were Hurt.

''Whistle'fo the wind" said he. !.
I'm afraid" said she. Il can't tell
what you'll do when my lips are puck
cred up"
81 won't do a thing"
''Then 1 won't whistle Top
les.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
HafIst,,nes.

Hailstones begin their fall as drops
of rain. These get frozen into ice by
crossing cold current of { ir on then
way down.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
The ouerv OF the BIase

They say this world is round. All, me!
How does it happen that
All things uponit seem tc be
SO absolutely fat?
washington Star.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Fact ana Fancy.

Men should be careful how they act,
Think weK what marriage brings!
She's fancy now, then she'll be fact,
And 'facts are stubborn things"
Harlem Life.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
One GirI,s Wisdom.

'"There are bacilli'in kiss"
Quoth the young doctor, suspicious;
SAID his sweetheart: What bliss!
I think bacilli are delicious"
Chicago Daily News.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27

|V oo~1 I11I1-l7 q 4 C11lI vi WI
yer?
Old Gentleman (nervously)0This
sounds more like-er-a demand than
era request.
Stout Beggar-Is dat so? Well, all
you've got ter do is ter see dat de
supply is equal ter de demand. See?
Harlem Life.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
&c GigantIc IntelIect.

she-What are you thinking about.
Harry2
He-Nothing.
Aren't you afraid of oveltaxins
yonr brain, deafBa - Detroit Fres
Press.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
RAILROAD TIME CARD. -
L. 8 N. R. r..

ARRIVAL OF TRAINS
From Cincinnati-1O:5sa a. M; 5:So ,.
m; 1910 p. m.
From hexington-5:11 a. m; 7:45 a. mt
1888 p. m; 1927 p. m.
From Richmond-,5:05 a. M; 7:4O-a. MI
1928 p. m. sa,x
From Maysville-7;42 a. M; S:25 p. m.
DEPARTURE OF TRAINS:
To Cincinnati a. M; 1851 a. m;
$40 p. m.
To Lexington-7:47 a. M; t1:05 a. M;
5:45 p. m; 1914 p. m.
To Richmond-11:O8 a. m; SAB p. M;
1915 p. m.
To Maysville- a. M: 6:35 p. m.
F. B. CARR. Agent
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
Her First Attempt.

Said the bride: Here's my first batch Of
biscuit
Just waitl From the oven I'll whiscuit."
How the poor woman cried
When her hubby replied:
'Let 1t burn! 1 don't think should ris'
cult
-Philadelphia Press
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27

Bookworm-Have you a copy of
"Fifteen Decisive Battles?"
Saleslady-No; but I've got ''Recol-
lections of a Married Man."-Louisville
COurier-JournaI
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27
KENTUCKY CENTRAL POINTS

GEO B. HARPER, Gent Supt,
JOS. X. WTON, 6. p. A.
The Bourbon news., 1900-11-27

Daily except Sunday.
Connects with L. & N; b connects with q.
& c.; connects with KY, Central.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12
Not q Gonera,.s Ees.

The freshness of eggs is carefully
graded in this country, but our distinc-
lions are surpassed in delicacy by
those long since in vogue among the
British residents of India. Soon after
Arthur Wellesley, afterward the duke
of Wellington. was appointed major
general for his great services in India,
he happened to stop in Calcutta. AT
breakfast the hero was served with
boiled eggs. He took one, broke the
shell, and dropped it with an air OF
disgust. 'Laurell," he cried to his
valet, what do you mean by giving me
a bad egg" 'fhe valet hurried to his
master, and examined the egg with
the utmost seriousness. II entreat
your forgiveness" said he, but It's all
a mistake. The stupid servant has
gone and given you an aide-de-camp's
egg by mistake"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12
DECLINE or y MINING TOWN.
Editor ana Postnastsr the Last to Pull
8lS n Up stakes

- 4
Editor and Postmastsr the Last to Pull
Up stakes.
Il had some experience running a
newspaper which has never been du-
plicated by any other man in the
world" said Charles Pattison of abb
lene, Kan, at the Midland hotel re-
Gently. For three months 1 ran :.
weekly paper in town with two in
habitants-the postmaster and myself.
1t was at Congress, Colo. That was
boom mining camp in 1883 and miners
flocked in there by the hundreds on ac-
count of Strike Claims were COB
bled up like hot cakes. Under the
mining law, after $500 worth of work
Is done on a claim it is necessary to in
sert legal notice in newspaper of
general circulation for period of
three months. My father held an Of
fice in San Juan county, and while out
visiting him l saw an opportunity tc
lease newspaper plant and make
lot of money running legal notices. I
did so. For several months l did a
land-office business. 1t was a thriv-
ing little town. The business of the
town enabled the postmaster to make
about $1,000 year. A few months be-
fore there was to be another readiust-
ment of the postmaster's salary, things
began to drag at Congress. The mines
were not banning out very we'll. There
was strike made at Telluride, and
all of the miners picked up and went
to that place. They were followed by
the merchants, saloon men, gamblers,
dance-hall people and all. Within a
week there was no one left there but
the postmaster, James Edwards, and
myself. Edwards did not care to give
up his postotfice as long as it paid so
we'll. He was from Ohio. l was tied
up with lot of legal publications. l
was certain to get my money for the
notices as soon as they had run the re-
quired length of time, so l could not
leave. We had everything our own
way. I would help him run his post
office and he would help me write hot
stuff, set 1t up and pull the lever to
an old Washington hand-press. The
postoftice business was confined almost
wholly to handling the circulation of
my paper--the Red Mountain Pilot
about fifty copies. The day that the
legal notices last appeared l told Ed
wards that l was going to pull up
stakes and leave. His big salary ran
another month. and he wanted me to
stay, Offering to divide up, but that
was no inducement. When he found
that was determined to leave, he
said: I'll lock up the postoffice and
so, too He turned the key in the
door of the postoffce and I locked the
door of the newspaper Office, and we
walked out of town. kansas City
Journal.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12
COn6ld0rAfA.

From the Chicago Tribune: After
securing his swag. and before taking
his departure from the house, the up
to-date burglar stepped inside the lit
tie telephone closet and called up the
central police station. ''This is Smooth
Sawney. the Expert Flat Operator and
Porch Climber" he said. Il have lust
cleaned up the premises at 399 Water
melon street. and have done a pretty
thorough job. Have secured valuable
sealskin cloak. two gold watches, and
q miscellaneous collection of jewelry
worth. perhaps, $3.50. Can't stop to
give you any further particulars. 1
have an engagement that will take me
about ten miles away from here within
the next hour. Il you hurry, you can
;get this n the : O'clock editions Of the
morning papers. Good by!"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12

in dairy matters In Denmark, Norway.
New Zealand and the United states.
While progressive he is conservative,
and is not easily led to indorss new
things till he is thoroughly convinced
Of their utility. Illinois needs q
strong man in tho office Of assistant
commissioner. which office is supposed
to be filled by first-class dairy ex-
pert.
Another gratifying thing about the
appointment Of Mr.. Monrad is that 1t
is in no sense political appointment.
This is an indication that the commits
sion is to be run for real effectiveness.
The mass OF work to be done in Illi-
nois requires the best talent that can
be secured irrespective of party, and
the sentiment of the people should be
expressed in favor of keeping, as much
as possible. partisan politics out of 1t.
Illinois has the reputation of being
the state in which more adulterated
products are made than any other state
in the Union. 1t is charged that 1lli-
nois has had more to do with ruin
ing our foreign markets for dairy
goods than any other state in the
Union, and it is to be hoped that a
reform is to follow. Every farmer in
Illinois should do his utmost to uphold
the hands of Mr.. Jones and Mr., Mon
rad.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12
FARM AND GARDEN.
MATTERS OF INTEREST TO
AoRlcULTURlsTs.
Som. up-to-D.t. Hint. About cul.
tivation Of tho Soil and Yields
Observation-Disclosures vitIculturs and
Floriculture.
horticultural Observations.

horticultural Observations.
On Jan. 16 there will be held in Kan
sas City convention of growers and
shippers Of fruit and farm produce. It
is proposed to form an association of
national magnitude. Whether the plan
will succeed or not we will soon see.
But it is a fact that the science of or
ganization is being learned, as is evil
denced by the success of the California
ratsin growers association. There are
at present number of small associa-
lions that have been doing business
for years, and that. too. with success.
There is little doubt that such a COM
bination as that proposed has in it
great possibilities for good and evil.
Honestly and Justly managed, it may
give a uniformity to prices and prevent
dishonesty among the retailers, espe-
cially among the stand fruit dealers in
large cities.
Fruit men should in some way COM
bine to prevent retailers re-sorting
their fruit when it is put on the mar
ket. This re-sorting of fruit by the
retailers is very widespread hab-
1t. It is in every sense dishon-
est, and Injuries the producer Of
fine fruit as much as 1t does the
buyer of what is supposed to be
fine fruit. Go among the fruit stands
In Chicago very early in the morn
ing, say, in peach time, before the rush
for the day has commenced. The fruit
dealers will be found vigorously at
work packing fruit to be sold during
the day. All the good fruit has been
emptied out in one pile and the little.
worthless fruit in another pile. The
packer puts the little green peaches
In the bottom and faces the basket
with good-sized and possibly good-col-
ored fruit. II it lacks good color, he
stretches some red netting over the
green fruit and gives it the proper
color. Now when the basket of fruit
that Fruit-Grower John Smith has
packed, with his stamp, comes into the
hands Of these same men, 1t is quickly
emptied out and serted with the rest.
II, later, John Smith should come
along and buy one OF the honestly
packed baskets that he has sent to
market he would experience shock
on opening it. for he would not find
under the top layer just as good
peaches as on top, but the said green
ones referred to. Fruit producers that
are trying to make their brand recog-
nized and respected on the market
should find some way to compel deal
ers to sell the fruit as it comes to hand
or take off their brand.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12

There is more Catarrh IN this section OF the
country than all other diseases put together,
and until the last few years was supposed to be
tncurable. For great many years doctors pro-
remedies. and by constantly failing to cure
with local treatment, pronounced it incurable.
Science has proven catarrh to be q constitu-
tutional treatment Halls Catarrh Cure, man
ufactured by +. y. Cheney & Co., Toledo. Ohio,
IS the only constitutional cure on the market.
teaspoonful. 1t acts directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces OF the system. They offer
one hundred dollars for any case 1t fails to cure.
F. ]. CHENEY s, CO., Toledo, Ohio.
Sold by Druggists, s0c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12
willing to Taxe Ca,mctto,s Word.


When DR.. Albert Calmette, director
OF the Pasteur Institute at Lille, re-
turned from fighting the plague at
Oporto day or two ago, he drove
straight to the Figaro Office to shake
hands with his brother NJ. CASTOR Cal
mette, before leaving for Lille He
was welcomed by several journalists
who happened to be present, among
them NJ. Emmanuel Arenc, who gives
description Of the scene in Eclair.
DR.. Calmette had left his luggage
downstairs in cab, but he carried in
his hand little tin box which he put
down carefully on the mantelpiece.
Conversation became general. The
doctor declared that all his expert
ments had been most successful. so
you know exactly what kind of plague
you had to deal with?" asked one OF
the company. 'Of course l d." was
the startling reply, "for l have brought
it back with me- and the doctor calm
ly took the tin box off the mantelpiece
and somewhat to the horror of his lis
teners, began to open it. He took out
little glass tube Theoretically sealed,
which contained something that look
ed very much like clear glycerine.
There were millions Of microbes in it
though they were not very easy to see.
"You have only to dip a pin in this
and prick yourself" he said, land in
ten hours you would have the plague;
in five days you would be dead. But
you had better take my word for it,"
he added, smilingly, and every one
cheerfully did,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12
Henderson and His Recruits.

Senator Allison, speaking of Speaker
anderson as a soldier, says: when
ted that the leader Of student band
OF recruits wanted to see me, asked
tint he be shown in, and a tall, clean
linbed, clear-eyed youngster entered.
FL had a lot of recruits with him, and
he said his name was Henderson.
Looked at the recruits; they were all
right. Henderson had not only brought
th.se boys in on his own responsibility,
but lie had done it with almost no OK
pelse to any one; his enthusiasm had
been so infectious that the farmers had
been glad to feed and transport them
free"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12
TeOsinte

IeOSlnC0
Herewith we illustrate teosinte. The
explanation of the plate is: "a" one of
the ears enclosed by the husk; "b," the
same with portion of the husk show
Ing the grains; &C" and ID" views OF
the grain.
The scientific name of this plant is
Euchloena luxurians. This is grass
Of tropical nativity and much resem-
pies Indian corn. It is said to have
oeen introduced into this country from
central or South America, though it
was first cultivated in Australia.
IN its native habit as it grows
freely and often attains a height
OF from 10 to Is feet in a few months.
1t suckers out or tillers to remark
able degree, often as many as thirty to
nifty suckers springing from a single
! stalk. In this country the climate is
not hot enough, neither are the seasons
long enough to rfpen the seed, except in
very few places. While this is true,
1t does we'll as fodder plant as far
north as Pennsylvania and Kansas.
In some of our more southern states
it has given larger yields than any 9TH
er forage plant. Georgia reported a
yield of 10 tons to the acre, Mississip-
pi22 tons to the acre, but at the Louis
lana station it yielded over so tons per
acre. To succeed we'll it needs abund-
ant moisture, great deal of heat, rich
soil and long season. It is useless
to plant it where these conditions can
not be had. # cut when it reaches four
or five feet in height it makes excellent
fodder. If allowed to grow till Octo-
Der it makes good plant for the silo.
Its value as soiling crop may be seen
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12
From Els Point of View.

Sympathetic Friend-I was sorry to
hear that Uppercut got the best of you
last night.
Defeated Pugillst lin SURPRISED
the best of me? Well, nit! Why, re-
fused to take him on until was guar
anteed 60 per cent Of the gate receipts
and the whole of the picture privileges!
Brooklyn Life
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12
A Good appointment.

Mr.. J. II. Monrad has been appointed
assistant dairy and food commissioner
OF Illinois. The appointment is good
one. All who know Mr.. Monrad be-
lieve that he will discharge every duty
faithfully. Az q dairy expert he is
known on both sides Of the Atlantic
and Pacific. He has had experience
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12
A Dearth of Genin.

'Therc DOESN'T seem to be rearly as
much fine poetry written as there was
once" said the young woman.
NO." answered the young nan, mot
since all those big bicycle manufacture
ers quit advertising."- Washington
Star.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12
Couldn't, Possibly.

Nathaniel, the teacher writes me a
note and says Katie is showing indica.
lions Of astgmatism."
"Of what?'
"Astigmatism."
"You tell him he's mistaken. She
went through that when she was q
baby."-Chicago Tribune.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12
Insight.

The mind reader has no remarkable
brain;
He's not gifted With wisdom galore;
He merely believes things will happen
again
Because they have happened before.
Chicago Record.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1900-01-12
She Wanted to De Seen,

in front of him. me, madam,
but my seat has cost me ten shillings,
and want to see. Your hat
The Lady-My hat has cost me ten
guineas, sir, and l want to be Scent
Punch.