The Florence tribune., 1900-12-08
THE CANDIDATES LAMENT.

THE CANDIDATES LAMENT. The Way Frank Alley Takes His Defeat for
 District Attorney of Gila County.
 GLOBE, A. T., Nov. 26.
 We have met the enemy, and he's not our'n. He slipped through our fingers, just as we thought we had'm by the ''G" string.
 Iris sweet to run
 But o how bitter,
 To run like
 And then not git'r.
 One fellow voted against us because we walked too straight, another one because we didn't walk straight enough, not dignifed you know. An other because we drank too much, an other because we didn't drink enough, not good fellow, you know. Every thing we did, or failed to do, or couldn't or wouldn't or shouldn't do, counted one more against us.
 One old chap fought us till we were dizzy because we killed brindle tom eat, but we thought it was 8 maverick at the time, the hair being so long we couldn't distinguish the brand. We found when everlastingly too late, how ever, that the cat was his, tail and all. Moreover it was too poor for weiner- wursts, and what was still worse it turned out to be female eat at the head of large family. We did every thing we could on earth to square the mistake. We told the agonized proprie- tor and the sympathizing neighbors that if they would raise that batch of orphan cats on the bottle, we would pay the expenses, and they took us up, the items of which will appear under the head of milk and nurse hire in our affidavit of expenses filed with the recorder of Gila county and recorded on page 4-1l-44, Miscellaneous records of said office. All this was of no avail, 
 and when the injured citizen dropped in his ballot the next day we could hear the dull sickening taud" clear down to the Old Dominion shelter.
 Ambitions souls have run for office before Others have run behind. We belong to the latter class, but no pant ing fame hunter ever might, would l, could or should run as we did, i. e. just fast enongh to get left.
 In one short hour the hollyhock tinted vision of fame and power and quarterly checks, faded into eternity like star shower into the bosom of the Pacific, and we were once more standing barefoot on the frosty cob blestones of disappointment.
 In dreams we had stood at the elbow Of the bald headed chairman of the board of supervisors, and instructed them iu the important difference be- tween a meritorious claim on this wedged shaped county on one hand, and bobtailea Aim fam on the other. As the Honorable District coult i pulled his whiskers effectively and calls for the district attorney, we saw ourselves stepping forth in the dazzl- ing light of thousand admiring eyes. Aged men who had played craps with Abraham Lincoln or swiped water melons with Stephen A. Doug las, stood trembling for an opportun- ity to grab up by the feelers. Beauti- ful women were falling over eaet other to do the Hobson act unto us strong men shaking in the throes oi bottle green envy and little children were clapping their chubby hands with delight as we with stately tread and a plaid neck tie, press forward full of majestic dignity and limburger cheese.
 And then we awaken to the fact we are lying in our red wood bunk, ant our linen pants which we hung st hopefully upon the wall in Octobe look down in tender sympathy upol us with mixed expression of pain auC pleasure at the prospect of resumine their wonted place on our anatomy be fore the next anniversary of the birt of Christ. We have been copiousl mentioned by our multitude of friend as the next district attorney, but the thoughtlessly forgot to fix date They fixed us instead, and our oppor ents are better fixed than any of us.
 If we are defeated we simply forn the last link in the chain of immor tai Americans who never got wha they wanted, such as Clay, Webster Blaine and William Jennings Bryan. Friends and fellow citizens, goo bye, adios, ta ta, let'r go Muldoon. ALEY.