The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-11-11
Fun Of the MorId.

isteEships and c7Dzulshlps wen said
ne 70 friend. this b The largest co.,
lection for foreign, mss chs thas has
been taken ap for long ume.o
A Scotch divine took one Of his parish-
toners 10 task fog his non-attsndance 81
kirk; the man said. ~ dinna ike iaas
sermons. The rarson, with sore
warmth replied. John. yen dee and
so to 81 place where ven not have he
privilege II hearing Ions or short SER
mons. THAT may be. said John. -but
it wilma be for lack Of parsons.
King Eumbert took great pride IN his
pine grove. and one day arriving mex
pecredly found forester preparing 70
cur d3wn & tree. .'gF hat are you q bCu -
asked The King. "This pine 5 CROWNS
too tail. Your Majesty" ''Would yea
Ike It Il ! ordered your feet &c be cut
on because YOU are talier than YOUR fei-
lows! The him waF enCueh and che
tree has been leSt unmolastsd ever since.
After his return 10 London from his
nrst Jour IN the Cni.ed States. Matthew
arnold visited old Mrs Proctor. widow Of
me poet 'Ra-rv Cornwall" and mother
o. Adelaide Proctor. Mrs Proctor. who
was then 50 years old. ia giving ar Ar
mold cup Of tea. asked him. And
what did taey say about yeu fn
America ''Weli" said the literary au-
tocrat they said ] was oonceted. and
they said my clothes did not Or me-
Well now" said the ola lady II TANK
they were mistaken as 10 the clothes
When Henry s. y 2tson the illustratr
landed at Naples. he did not know much
about European travel lie had 10 maze
some sketches In the villages about Ma
Pies and his expert noes have filed hl-n
with wonder enough Tor q lifetime fTis
def pencil helped him a bit AT one
little village Inn he tried 10 seq it
through the landlords head that ne was
10 be called early in the mornins. He
couldn't make himself understood At
last he drew q picture o. himself lying
In bed The suA peening through the WIN
dow. the clock at the hour Cf and the
chambermaii knocking at the door.
Then 1t was quite plain and they woke
him on the tick.
EER
nfr Suburb-"What on earth are YOU
trying 10 DO neighbour
Mr. Nextdo9r- Merely taking down
little of the palms, so that ] can move
my chickeu-coop over into your yard"
EN-, Ny yard2H
''Tes. 7 like to he nef-hborIv and con-
sd, rate Of other peoples feelings, you
know"
''Rut-er-"
eyes, Won shan't have any more cause
20 complain about my chickens scratch
ing ZIP your yard"
'But YOU are moving your whole COOP
over on to my property
That's the idea. Qufck as the chick
ems find their coon in your yard thevU
fancy that YOU own them. and WIZ
spend the rest Of their natural lives
scratching in my yard. YOU know"
q
An Austrian prince once sent his SER
want to r ra'nte~ remarkable for his
idleness as. wei as skill and gave him
a picture to COW. TX was The painting
Of an old farmhouse. Tn a few days the
servant went 10 see what proEre Isl sal
been made and on his return informed
the prince that all was done but o~e
chimney, on which the painter was then
employed A week passed and the p'c-
ture was not returned The prince then
resolved to 60 himself He did So and
found The artist stlll az the undnshcf
chimney Glow IS thls?" said the prince
severely; cali this time employed on one
chimney2'
CT have been OBLIGED TO do and undo
IT several times" said The artist
fFor what reesou2" asked The prince
Because" said the artist cooly, 'T
found that II smoked ~
x 81 x
A North Memphis gentleman has been
trying lately to induce his wife 20 adopt
the habit ~ drinking class Of wine az
frequent intervals during the dav sh7
is fncliua Il 20 be delicate IN health thof7n
not decidod invalid and her w1-
meaning husband fancied the spiri
would strengthen her
She opposed with all a w0mans obsti-
nateness his suggestion. Perhaps si. re-
called times when her lord and Ter
had come home reeling IKE o ship whose
cargo has shifted
The other day he spoke 10 her after
this manner.
you are unreasonable. my dear. not
20 drink wine
Her reply came sharp and pointed.
Perhaps but I've noticed that you
are unreasonable when you drink 70"
On occasion a very OLD story takes on
some new feature that is worth Dreserv-
ing A well-kuoWn football player was
out the other day for a lively walk 3uat
TO warm his blood and preserve the eias- +
tcitv Of his muscles. in The from ~
little cottage he came Up IN
a man and woman ir excited contro-
versy
'Git often this vsrandy CIT often ne
place. This is the fou'rt time I've ore
dered you, now and she was naui-u-
latng q mop as though e were d eof
stick and she had n tremendous stroke
to make.
"Tm not goin'" the man shouted back
TIN stayin right here as long So : zeal
l.ke f."
.whars taste" CIT m the f9ouaH
PLAYER. tEou WON'T leave when The i4dt
az the house orders you tof