The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-12-09

a goose quill he blows up his mutton
so that the veriest old carcass looks fat
and tempting He puts stones into his
heads Of cabbage, which he sells by the
pound. He sells dwarf orange trees
loaded down with fruit nineteenth Of
which Is cleverly wired on to branches
which never fed and developed it. or
if, by accident. a, hole has been knocked
in the side of an old porcelain vase, he
grinds the hole into some sort of shape,
cleveTIy grinds, fits and CLUES any bit of
old brick into the opening, and then so
accurately repFodUces in every detail
and shade of color the outside decOra-
ton and glass that by the application
Of acid alone can the fraud be discOv-
cred. The smallneSs of the profit to be
derived from the fraud never deters
him; he seems to cheat for love of
cheating.
One Of the abIest British ministers to
China. and fine scholar of the Ian
guage, in his bachelor days made a
contract with a silversmith a Pekin by
which the minister was to furnish Mex
lean dollars which the silversmith was
10 melt and make into a pair of candeI-
abra, reserving 3 per cent of the silver
for his labor. In due time the Candida
bra were delivered and gave great sat
isfactiOn to the minister Having used
them several years, and being about to
return to England. he decided to sell
another silversmith, who, after examin-
ing them carefully, offered 10 shillings
Tor them. A conversation ensued, in
which the minister learned that, while
he had theoretically put 300 Mexican
dollars into his Candelabra. there was
not an ounce of silver in them
The British Minister'S Bad Bargain.
In a great rage at the trick that had
been played upon him, the minister sent
for the original silversmith, when the
following dialogue took place. 1t may
be stated that it is considered a mark
Of respect for a subordinate to repeat
the words, or the sense Of them, ad
dressed 10 him by a superior before
answering him.
The British Minister-You Internal
I scoundreIi Didn't I make a bargain
pair of solid silver candeIabra, and
didn't furnish you with $500.
Chinese Silversmith-You Internal
scOundrel. Didn't you make a bargain
with me three years ago to make a pair
Of solid silver candelabra. and didn't
you furnish me with $500 for them?
Yes, your excellency.
The British Minister-And aren't
those your works. and there isn't an
ounce of silver in them?
Chinese Silversmith-And aren't
those my works, and there isn't an
ounce Of silver in them? Most true,
your eXcellency.f,
The British Minister-You barefaced
thief! If before sunset you don't bring
me every dollar I gave you, I'll send
you 10 prison. Get out of my sight
Chinese Silversmith-YOu barefaced
/ thief. If before sunset I don't bring
your exCellency every dollar your ex-
| cellency gave me, you will send me to
prison! Quite right, your excellency.
The silversmith bowed and departed
He returned in half an hour with the
money, which he handed to the minis
/ ter, and with many assurances of his
/ distinguished consideration and best
/ wishes that the minister might have a
pleasant visit home, took his leave.
The one line Of purchase in which
| the Chinaman doesn't bargain, is in
/ the matter of his prayers. A big
/ business is done in the F'lowery Land.
/ by shOpkeepers who keep what are
/ known as prayer shops. 1t would take
/ John Chinaman far too long to offer
/ the many thousands of prayers pre-
! Scribed by his faith. In fact We're he
/ to do so he would have no time for
! work and so he compromises matters
/ by buying these little slips of parch-
@ment, which have prayers written on
! them by the priests, from the PRAYER
! shops, and burning them, believing
/ that as the smoke from them disperses
/ in the atmosphere, SO his prayers as
/ Cend 20 heaven and are received by
/ the Deity. Whatever the prayer seller
] asks for the slips of paper John paws
/ uncomplainingly. He considers that he
/ is getting his moneys worth there