Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-23
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A Scottish peasant, boasting of his
relationship to the Duke of Argyll, eX-
planned the connection in this way:
1.-The Dukes piper's sisters wee laddie
has a wee doggie that's ain brither to
my aunt's wee laddie's doggie."
i The night clerk of leading hotel of
Washington, D. c., says that last win
ter Southern Congressman came to
him and demanded that his room be
changed. When asked what displeased
him, he replied, angrily: .'Well, that
German musician in the next room and
1 don't get along well. Last night he
footed away on his clarionet so that l
thought | never would go to sleep.
After had caught few winks l was
awakened by pounding at my door.
What's the matter?' l asked. If you
please said the German, dot you would
schnore of der same key. You vas go
from B-f1at to G, and it spoils der
moosic.'
The following excerpt from Margaret
Macauley's little volume on her broth
er. which was printed in 1854 for pri-
vate circulation, shows Macaulay'S cat
like ability always to fall on his feet:
Zone day Tom said jokingly that there
are some things which always inclined
him to believe in the predominance of
evil in the world Such, he said, as
bread always falling on the buttered
! side, and the thing you want always
| being the last you come to. Now,
will take up volume after volume of
this Shakespeare to look for Hamlet"
You will see that shall come to 1t the
last of ALL The first volume be took
up opened on Hamlet Every one
laughed. What can be stronger proof
of what said 2 cried he; for the first
time in my life I wished that what
was looking for would come up last,
and for the first time in my life it has
come up first.
A newly engaged clerk in the employ
of the Standard Oil Company was sent
to work in a small room that contained
health-lift. Every morning at about
10 o'clock, when this clerk was partic
ularly busy with figures, a-small, black
mustacheds man, quiet and diffident in
| manner, entered, said "Good-morning,"
walked on tiptoe to the corner, and ex-
ercised for a quarter of an hour. 1t
became bore to the clerk, who at last,
| one day, remarked with considerable
heat to the stranger: How. do you ex-
| 70 10 ri rx-J,i i1o
| you are fooling with that blasted ma
| chine? Pm getting tired of it. Why
don't you put it where it won't worry a
person to death 2" 81 am very sorry it
annoys you," said the stranger, flush
ing; 81 will have it removed at once"
| A porter took it away within an hour.
| A few days later the clerk was sent for
| by Mr. Flagler, whom he found in earn
est conversation with the small, black
| mustached man. The latter smiled at
seeing him, gave Flagler some instruc-
| tions, and left the room. "Will you tell
| me who that gentleman is?" the young
| man asked, a light beginning to break
upon him. "That was Mr. Rockefel-
ler," was the reply. Itwas the clerks
| first acquaintance with the head of the
great corporation by which he was en-
| ployed.
An interesting story is told apropos
of reporters zeal to obtain news from
| the Chinese legation in Washington, D.
c., regarding affairs in Pekin. He was
| an enterprising young fellow sent by
his editor to take the place of the regu-
| lar washington correspondent who
| was away on his vacation, and he had
1 spent the whole morning in the vicinity
| of the legation endeavoring to pick up
something, not knowing that the most
direct way would have been to see
| Minister WI himself, who is invariably
kind about granting interviews He
was about to abandon his project when
an intelligent-looking and well-dressed
Chinaman came down the steps of the
| legation and responded so pleasantly to
his greetings that he bombarded him
with whole list of questions, to which
the polite Celestial repeatedly an
swered: "Dun know. dun know FL
nally, quite desperate at his inability
| to make something out of what he
looked upon as rare chance, a walk
i with one of the legations secretaries,
he asked, appealingly: "Well, surely
you know something of the dowager
empress; what do you think of her?"
.sMe no thinkee," responded the China
man; "me washee," and with this part
/ ing announcement he disappeared into
a laundry near by, of which he turned
| out to be the proprietor.
/
Dead Ancestors in China.
Dead ancestors are said to occupy too
much of the able land in China. Fam
L H. h f1,oo