davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-29
NOW IN REHEARSAL.
Tie Uproarous Comedy "What Happened
to Jones" to be Presented
Tuesday Night.

Emboldened by their successes iI
former efforts in this line and incited by
committee anxious to obtain funds
from whatever source, the local company
OF players are preparing for presentation
on the evening of July 3rd, the delight
| full, farce-comedy "What Happened to
Jones'"
While Jones is much in evidence dur
ing the two hours necessary for the pro.
duction of the play, the title IL in meas.
ure misnomer, for it is not so much
what happened to Jones as what he
causes to happen to those so unfortunate
as to come In contact with him, that
make up the incidents of the comedy.
Prof. Goodly, staid old student Of an
atomy, possessed OF a tyranlcal wife, q
maiden sister of questionable age, two
lovely daughters, mischeivous ward
and brother who is the Bishop of Bal
larat, is induced by Richard Heatherly,
suitor of the professors daughter,
Marjorie, to attend a prize fight. The
building is raided by the police, and in
escaping, the professor has his eye
blacked and his clothes badly torn. He
and Richard seek refuge in the profes-
sor's study and are followed by Jones,
whom they never:saw before. but who is
also fleeing from the police. He is a
drummer for a hymn book house and
carries playing cards az side line. In
his struggle with the police he has lost a
coat tail. The loss will serve to identi-
fly him and the officers are at the door.
At this critical moment, Helma, the SER
want girl, appears with suit of clothes
intended for the Bisop who is expected to
arrive the next day. Jones dons the Bish-
ops clothes and when the police arrive
they find hin assuming the role of that
reverend gentleman. Now, it transpires
that none of the characters, except the
professor, have ever seen the Bishop, and
when the ladies appear they accept Jones
as that gentleman, and the curtain falls
with them in the drummer's arms.
The second act only increases the COM
plications. The real Bishop arrives, is
mistaken for Jones and taken to prison.
The maiden sister believes Jones is her
betrothed, and makes love to him violent
ly. Cissy, however, has probed the mys.
terry and Jones divulges the secret to her.
William and the policeman do their share
towards muddling matters. The play
ends with an exposure of the impostor,
and Alvina in possession of the Bishop.
CAST, OF. CHARACTERS.
Geo. L. Paul
Prof. Eben ezer Goodley----M MI. B. W, johnson
Rev. Anthony Goodly---------Mr. c. E. Woodson
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-29

Ko nut, the purest, sweetest, most
healthful cooking material made; call for
it at Zierolf's.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-29

AIDES who wish to avoid
- the bother of home work, or
the details of dressmaking, will
be interested incur new line of
dress skirts. Ali the fashionable
fabrics of the season are included
in the line, and the skirts have the
fit and ''hang' af the best dress
makermade. Take a look at
them and you will agree with us.
Prices from 45c to $3.50
GROCERY selling in depart
"a ment store no longer attracts
attention because of its novelty,
but for the reason that the best of
food products costs less there than
the exclusive grocer charges.
This store is easily in the lead in
this respect. Our grocery de-
partment is appreciated by we'll
posted buyers because it offers an
opportunity to supply the family
needs in this line at closest prices.
Country produce taken.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-29
For Sale.

A $3.50 stock of stationery notions, etc.,
will sell at big discount. Goods new.
Enquire at this Office.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-29

Ko-nut for pies and all pastry-once
used, always used; for sale at Zierolf's.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-06-29

Get your Job Work done herel
Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-07-28

trainer knew that there must be some-r
unlng wrong. lie came runndng out lust
IN tim to see In elephant standing with
ms chain broken. the loose link hanging
10 one FOOT. Bounce, meanwhile was
parking terribly and leaping against the
renee. and this told the trainer that the
Wouid-be elephant thieves had escaped
and We're probably running for their
lives. The people of Puerto Rico are
honest n amiable, far, above the aver
age, but a trained elephant, IN a land
where he Is a novelty, Is enough to tempt
M man.
This circus is OF the old fashioned va
riety That was In vogue when most OF
us were children and before the days OF
three rings. One ring well covered with
saWdust was enough to interest the spec
tators, and here the tinsel lady per-
formed nightly with the paper hoop; and
here the clown rolled over and the ring
master tracked his whip.
Oh, il was different in those days. Or
is it that the circus. like other childish
joys, ecomes more lifelike and less mag
nified in point of rapture as the years
roll by?
The Puerto Rico circus is coming
money. II you do n o believe it, Just
take a trip to the island and journey in
ward. Take the military road along
which General Miles travelled in his tri-
umphant march, and down to which the
natives came with greetings for the
Americans. Before you have Travelled
"a hours you will hear of the American
circus; n pretty soon you will strike
it, for it Is pretty we'll known all over
Puerto Rico.
Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-07-28

back the warning for all others: .He-
Ware! The hummer grill
MY boy, was a happy youth when
first I met the summer girl. on
my uncle's farm. I was a couptryse 10Y
When she came I looked at her in eve,
I had never seen such clinging gowns.
such fluffy hair. such ankles and 30
much of them. ! had never heard such
silvery laughter or gazed into such eyes.
Ah, me!
"And she? She led me on, cen as Ahe
bull-pup is led to have his ears clipped
her. I-why, my boy. I even washed my
face and combed my hair twice a day. :.
"She told me she loved me. l earned
dt. What I didn't do for her no slave
could have DONE. Had she expressed
q desire to walk on me I would have LEI
her.
And at last she went back to the city.
h left with a ring upon her finger
which represented all my savings. she
| promised to write. o girl! Maybe
she had her hand cut of. At least I
never heard from her. Then, bllghted,
desperate. I went upon h STAGE.
Sine then, my boy. I have met the
summer girl in every form and MOOD.
and I know no good of her-that 10. u
you try to regard her a. q serious prop
osition. h will let you bltster yous
hands and break YOU back rowing ne
in a boat In the morning. And wnen
you and she will shake you and 30 Ios
a bicycle Il with that ribbon ciefI
at the hotel.
"When he is sufficiently worked up =
Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-07-28

have given her his mothers diamond
she win dart away and Join q
eaneoD dude at gon, only to cast him
q little later and lake up with an
ancient and honorable artllleryman
with three wives in the grave and a
keen eye for another. And h next day
all Over again.
Sometimes, often. she Is married, and
her husband is busy in the city raising
heads on a roof garden. Mat makes no
difference to her-nor to you, for you
can't know 1t.
ssBut whatever she is-married, single
or an ac-tress-beware of her, my boy.
and-and your summer will be miserable.
Miserable. did I say? My boy. without
her you will have no summer, for she is
the sumner"
Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-07-28
AMERICAN CIRCUS
IN PUERTO RICO
The Friendly Elephant and the Genial
Clown are Amusing the Natives,
American Fashion.

( Puerto Rico has an American circus,
\ "a genuine show with IN American ele-
plant, a Yankee clown and piebald
horses that understand the trick of bow
ing to the ladies. The circus has a ring
master, too, and a tiny acrobatic fellow
who performs tricks while the ringmas-
ter snaps his whip. n oh. the ladies'!
Such beautiful, short-skirted betinselled
creatures, such deliciously pink and
white beings, such light-footed fairies
surely the like was never seen before in
Puerto Rico.
The man who gathered together the
| caravan for the islands that lie off in
the warm waters south of North
| America must be nameless, but It is
enough to say that he visited all the
standard circus companies of this part
of the country and purchased of them
such animals as they could spare.
If an elephant showed a DISPOSITION
to be ugly the new Snowman offered a
price for him; if a lion had grown so
! old and feeble that he could no longer
| be used for the great show trick of
| putting your head in the lions mouth.
he purchased him just the same and
trotted him off to be fed on beef tea
and built up again.
All sorts of animals, though a little
shop worn and out of date for the work
Of the big cities, We're bought and
loaded into the little circus train; and
pretty soon there was a car load of
trained beasts. off for Puerto Rico.
A TROPICAL SURPRISE.
The good people of the island had
heard of tina American institution, the
circus, and they had had ain shows
of various kinds, but such a. thing as a
real American circus had never visited
the island, nor had they dreamed of all
it's glories. African elephants had Wis
tied their shores, stupid big slate-colored
animals, with f1abby sides, but the
trained elephant was a novelty. Surely
this was an American elephant. for none
other could have learned to do so many
clever things.
In the Puerto Rican circus there is q
trained dog that rides horseback, ane
cleverest thing Of all is a feat performed
when the dog is off duty, for then it is
that he does his real work.
The duty of this dog is to guard the
elephant. He makes it his business tc
sit alongside the huge beast and watch
it. Once the elephant was nearl stoler
and then the dog gave the alarm. JUS
how far any one could get with a stoler
elephant is a question, but it is a fac
that it would hav been a serious matter
to lose the elephant for a single day.
Bounce, the dog, barked and then TIT
Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-07-28
BEWARE The WAYS OF
THE SUMMER GIRL
She is the Dearest Most Fascinating
Little Creature on Record and
We all Love Her.

The summer girl? "Oh, yes, I have
met her. I have seen her caracoling
from crag to crag in the mountains till
1t would make the chamois dizzy with
envy. l have seen her on the beach in
a bathing suit that would never go on
a billboard without a one-sheet date
pasted across it. Yet also have I
watched her swinging in the hammock
on the ~farm-down in that little nook
In the far corner Of the orchard, you
know. And wherever. whenever I nave
seen her she was the samoa dainty,
dimpled darling, gentle as the summer
breeze. Independent as the theatrical
syndicate and as pleasant to the eye az
the 'tStanding-Ro Only" sign.
do I know her? Would / have gone
to Midland Beach. Far RockaWay. Co
uey Island and Saratoga heart-whole
and fancy free. to return a signing,
Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-07-28
OF DIVERS.

The greatest danger to those Who dive
into the sea for valuables that have been
sunk is that of falling asleep.
On a hot day the contrast between the
heat above and the delicious GOODNESS be-
low water is apt to make a diver sleepy.
One of these men recently stated that
he once slept half an hour at the bottom
of a wreck, where he was laying "a pipe.
Surprising that had happened in a
channel where the tide runs SO swiftly
tina a diver can work only during the
one hour of slack water. the deadly rush
of tide would have snapped the lifeline
and hose. Then in workink wrecks there
is the danger Of getting jammed in be-
tween freight. or of getting the hose
or line entangled. When the hose snaps
at a great depth the tremendous pres
sure kills the diver. He is frightful'y
| distorted by it.
Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-07-28

Porto Rico has IT'S first genuine Amer
lean circus with its tame elephant and
its trained dogs. The god people of that
island never saw such a show before and
are giving a great ovatio.. to this trav>
cling entertainment.
Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-07-28
THEY ALL DO.

Jill-That's Miss Brown. She expect
to be married.
Jack-Of course. She's a woman
PHILADELPHIA Press.
Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-07-28
INOCCULATION.

NEGOTIATIONS for the plague are made
in Bombay at rate OF about 5000 9
week.
Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-07-28

"Karl, I'm actually ashamed to go out
with my old hat. It's 50 out OF style!'
HAS the cook the afternoon out to-
day?"
mo"
'"Then why don't you borrow hers?"
Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-07-28

geaTEEEzM Girl E rs kE99TaHB MF EEE . I%nRr nE ME a Wn All aR RS 81 AN sa1 Tm s FMnA ns zH "a ar 2
wave or HER PRErrY HAN "A sHE Throws HER LINE 10 TINE FISHES nm NRRAM BnOw
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-08-02
OUR GOVERNMENT IN DEMAND FOR
ARBITRATION

For a man with backbone Of choco-
olate, weak and uncertain, az has been
proclaimed 10 be by the opposition,
President Mckinley seems To possess
enough OF something or other TO cause
him TO be in demand as an arbitrator.
The Beers wanted him to act in that ca
pacity and now China appeals TO him to
mediate between il and the powers for a
settlement OF the present troubles. The
President made a firm and polite ans
wer 20 this last overture, requiring as a
condition that the ministers be put in
immediate free communication with
their respective governments, aud that
the Chinese government cooperate wi tn
the relief expedition 10 effect the liberia.
ton Of the legations. IL looks, there.
fore, as though the United States would
be prominent figure in the settlement
Of the present troubles. Certainly our
government impressed the Chinese min
lister in this country with the importance
Of getting direct communication with
Minister Conger and 1t was accomplish
ed while other nations heard nothing
from their representatives and expressed
doubt as to the genuineness Of our dis.
patches.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-08-02
THE rnAcnnR.MAKiso INDUSTRY

OF the grinding out OF school teachers
there 10 no end. All the normal schools
and summer schools and county institu
tes are running on full time and we hear
Of no strikes. The fees are multiplied as
fast as persons can be enlisted TO try for
the examinations and what with state
certificates there is no end Of the num-
Der Of persons who get through and are
authorized TO experiment on our child.
rem in the name Of education.
There is one bad thing about all this
and that is the persons given certificates
get the notion that they are therefore
highly educated persons themselves.
Forsooth, II the state has authorized
them TO teach others, Is not that evid.
ence that they possess a superior educa-
tion3 II IL = step In advance Of no
education at all, but IL deceives as many
into a false relation TO education as II
benefits.
The antiquated method OF having a set
Of printed questions prepared by the
state superintendent, and passed down
TO the county superintendent and all the
same questions doled out to all the ap.
plicants 10 teach, has had a rude shock
in the newspapers. OF course, the APP
plicants have always had access TO all
the old questions. And II was charged
that some favored ones had access TO the
new questions. But all these matters
are OF no consequence compared to run.
ming the whole wash through the same
machine. That destroys spontaniety and
progress.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-08-02
OASFoRrA.
Bsars the nIhs Kind You Haze Alnxys BuugAt
''';;''" !; GsHz2zz5,G,, '''
School District Loan.

Notice is hereby given that pursuant
TO an order made by the board of direct.
ors OF School Dist. No. "a Marion county,
Oregon, at the regular meeting held on
Saturday evening, July 2lst, 1900, sub.
scription lists are now open at the office
OF the clerk OF the district in the I,add 4
Bush bank Salem, Oregon, for the pur.
chase by the citizens at large Of $50, 900,
district funding notes of said school ais.
trlct No. "a. Marion county, Oregon.
Said issue to consist Of notes In tha
sums OF 800, 100, 200 and upwards. The
notes Will be payable 10 bearer. The
principal OF these notes shall be PAYABLE
at the office OF the clerk of said scbool
district on OF before ten years from Sent.
LIST, 1900, the date Of issue, with Interest
at the rate of four a. per cent per an
mum at the same place semi.annually ON
the first days of March and September of
each and every year until call or ma.
tuntyoi the.nOtes. Principal and interest
payable In U. S. gold coin of the present
standard value. NSN'''
The district clerk will receive and re-
glster all subscriptions in this behalf
and said subscription under this pubIiea,
ton Will close at 3 o'clock d. m. ON SAT.
urday August 4th, 1900.
Done by the board of school district
No. - Marion County Oregon this 9lst
day Of July, 1900. j. BAUMaARrNRR
''~" Clerk.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-08-02
OuR PosrorFlcr FRAUDS IN CUBA.

II was promised as AS soon the deial.
alton OF \. w. Neeley, chief Of the
bureau OF finance connected with the
postal department OF Cuba, was dis
covered that the matter would be thor
oughly investigated. Fourth Assistant
Postmaster General Bristow went To
Havana In May under orders from the
postmaster general and has been at
work on the case since. This week he
makes his report which finds that
Neeley's embezziements amount 10 over
one hundred and thirty thousand dol.
lars. Mr.. Bristow finds that II Neeley
had balanced his books, taking all the
credits he claimed, he would have been
short tS0,O00.7S. This would include
credit Of $780,, ,5s0.47 for destroyed
stamps after the new issue which Mr..
Brlstow says is fraudulent credit. lie
received $4,000 worth of the first
stamp issue and his receipts show that
he disposed Of $3.50, ,I79.O worth which
could only leave balance OF 1921 $50, 80
whereas he credits himself with $685.
6S9.S7 destroyed.
Here is discrepancy against Neely of
over 100000. Mr.. Bristow also finds
that u. p. Thompson, postmaster at
Havana, isguilty Of violating the law and
recommends that Director General Rath
bone be brought to trial for the grossest
carelessness In the administration OF the
affairs OF his office. Nothing too severe
can be said OF the looting OF the postal
revenues OF Cuba. While this govern.
ment was trying TO bring order out Of
chaos, in the country that it had just
freed from Spanish tyranny, and was
trying 10 show the people how to estab-
lish the different departments Of the
provisional government on = business
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-08-02
a REPLY TO ROOsrvrLrs INSULTING

SPEECH.
Here Is the meat in Governor Roose.
velt's speech officially opening the cam
paiRn:
"rhe Democrats stand for lawless.
ness, for dishonesty aud idishonor, sior
license and disaster at home and cow
ardly shrinking from duty abroad" "
What more could you want to make
Democrats vote for the brave Roose-
yeltY
What do you think Of a young gentle
man who characterizes in this fashion
the seven million American citizens
who voted for Bryan four years ago2
Governor Rooseyelts description, by
the way, applies TO General Lawton-
he was Democrat; and TO Dewey
he is Democrat; and to schley-he is
a Democrat and TO General Wheeler
he is a Democrat. Were those men
dishonest at home and towards
abroadP"
A wise old man in the Democratic
party remarked when Roosevelt was
nominated.
"We can safely rely ON that young
man 10 make more kinds of a fool OF
OF himself than any man has ever done
In public life.
Governor Roosevelt seems 10 be rap
idly verifying the prediction. Chicago
American.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-08-02

pound and Blood Purifier. am now
regular every month and suffer no pain.
Your medicine is the best that any suf-
fering girl can take, Miss MANY
CONES, Aptos, Cal, July O, 1899.
Nervous and Dizzy
"DEAR Mrs. PNKHAM I'll wish 10
express my thanks 10 you for the great
benefit | have received from the use OF
Lydia Il. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound. l suffered constantly from ter.
rible sideache, had ehills, was nervous
and dizzy. had tried different kinds
of medicine but they all failed entirely,
After taking three bottles of Vegetable
Compound and three of Blood Purifier
ANAL right. cannot thank you enough
for what your remedies have done for
me, So MISS MATILDA JENsEN, RoX Is,
OgdensbuTg, Wis, June 10, 1899.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-08-02

income from his steel works is greater
than the combined incomes OF all the
workmen in his employ. When few
men are compounding their incomes at
the rate OF 80 or 100 per cent, and th g
masses OF the people live from hand to
mouth, saving nothing, and lucky II
they can pay their daily accounts with
out asking for charity, it does not take
very elaborate mathematical calculation
TO show that the few will soon own all
the wealth Of the country.
The trust system hastens that process,
When business was carried on by a
multitude OF independent concerns there
was always chance for bright manu-
facturer or merchant 10 make little
fortune that would give him proportion
ately as large a share OF the national
wealth az was secured by his richer com
petitors. But now the small merchant
and manufacturer are disappearing
They are being absorbed by the trusts.
The bright young man who would have
formerly made stroke OF business on
his own account, is now the hired man
Of a trust. He draws a salafy-a good
one--perhaps as salaries go, but not one
that could ever enable him TO become a
rival OF his employers. For every dollar
he receives for the hire OF his brain, he
enables his masters 10 procure twenty.
The trusts monopolize not only money,
but brains, and what brains formerly
produced for their owners, they now
produce for the capitalists to whom they
leased.
This is as fatal is as its twin poison Of
military Imperialism TO Republican gov
ernment. IL is imperialism in another
phase. IL is the rule Of the few over the
many-the exploitation OF the many by
the few. The Declaration OF Independ-
ence talks about all men being created
equal. Is the man 10 whom John d.
Rockefeller pays Sl50 o day in any
material sense the equal TO Mr.. Rocke.
feller2
Suppose he and Mr.. Rockefeller each
we're 10 hold some cherished principle Of
government, and suppose each went TO
Washington on the same day TO urge his
views upon the President, which would
get the more respectful reception
Suppose the workman was sitting in
the Presidentts anteroom with his em-
ployer came in, would Mr.. Rockefeller
wait his turn2
He would II we had truly democrat
ic government. The time .may come,
and before very long, when the govern
ment will have 10 deal radically with
the power which even the legitimate adj
vantages Of concentrated wealth confer
upon the its holders. But that is not
the present issue. The Demoratic party
in this campaign has laid out pro.
gram OF attack upon trusts, based up.
on the destruction OF the advantages
they gain by unfair and illegal means.
They are allowed TO use the taxing
power for their own ends, through the
tariff; they are permitted 10 crush their
competitors by railroad Determinations,
they resort T. criminal means OF in
fluencing courts, legislatures and ad-
administrative offices. These things
the Democracy proposes to stop. BY
doing so they will put brake ON the
progress Of the republic 10 destruction
and will be kept fully occupied by that
for the next four years. After that, il
can decide what should be done next.