Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1900-03-21


have kissed you two or three times then
il Id wanted to. She-Yes. know 1T
New York Press.
''If say" said the teacher, 1.-The
pupil loves his teacher what sort of a
sentence is that:' Sarcastic" said
the bOy.-Tit-B Bits.
Il see that Mrs. Kruger always cuts
Dom Paurs hair" "Say, you can't ex-
pect such a man to be afraid OF any
thing on earth, can yOu:"-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
TailOr-LoOk here! | have worried
ket ,the undertaker)-That's all right.
old man. If worst comes to worst. you
can take il out in trade.-Tit-Bit
Tired TOmpkins-There's one job |
wouldn't mind havin', Horace. Hun
CRY Horace lin amaZement-Wbat
that? Tired TOmpkins-Lineman fer
er wireless telegraph cOmp'ny.-I.ife.
Curious old lady-How did you come
to this. poor man! Convict was drove
to it. lady. Curious old lady-Were you.
really! COnvict-Yes. they brung mr
in the van. as usual.-Philadelphia
Press.
He-TO prove the sincerity of my in
tentiOns, l have brought this solitaire
adOrnment for your engagement finger
She-I must say. my friend, that your
speech has the true ring.-Boston
Courier.
His Mrs Ncf
did yez fale phwin dhe dintist was
pullin' yure lathe? McGorry-How did
| fale, is ut? Bedad! Oi regretted wild
ahl me hear-rt thot OF wasn't bo- n a
hen.-Puck.
She-What relief this conservatory
is after that crowded ballroom. I felt
as if were being crushed to death.
He-Yes. it was rather close. She-But
feel perfectly safe here with yOu.-
Town Topics.
Tit for tat: First Little Girl-Tm
never going to speak TO you again:
your father keeps a saloon. Second
Little Giri-And I'm not going TO speak
10 you any more; l saw your father
20 into it.-Puck.
Wife-What's the white stuff on your
shoulder? Husband-Chalk. from II
billiard cue, you know. Wife (snitfingl
Hereafter l wish you to use chalk
that doesn't smell like toilet powder
New York Weekly.
Wickwire-Look here! This is the
fourth time this morning you have
been in here asking for the price of a
meal. Dismal Dawsop-Yep. l am the
nbsent-minded beggar, don't we know
indianapolis Press.
A misrepresentation; WAS that your
dog that was bowling Al: night Il
guess Tit-was. why in -thundes-iioii' 1
you feed himT' Heavens. man. it's
indigestion that makes him how'll
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Careful-This is the watch my
husband gave me. Her friend-Why.
It isn't going. Is it broken? Mrs
Careful-O. no! You see, l don't wind
II at all. That keeps the works from
wearing out.-Philadelphia Press.
Carrie-Tell me, Kate. how was it
you did not marry Mr.. Tyler? Kate
He told me | was the only woman he
ever loved. Ii man will lie to you
before marriage. what stories won't he
.ell afterward ?-Boston Transcript.
BObbs-I see that a man has invented
a typewriter that you sit down and
talk to and it writes out everything you
say. DObbs-I guess I'll keep mine.
She doesn't write everything say. and
I'm glad of it.-Baltimore American.
Don't you ever lose your temper:"
asked Mr.. Meekton's friend. admiring-
ly. "Oh. yes" was the answer. Some
times Henrietta reads something aloud
which she says is unjust and wrong.
and then get as indignant as can be"
Washington Star.