The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1900-08-23
MIR. Jobson's Vacation

VXTHEN Mr.. Jobson returned with
wv Mrs. Jobson from the seaside
last summer he stood forth and de-
clared himself on the subject of sum-
mer trips. ~ 9
"This is the last" he announced.
"No more of these idiotic hot-weather
jaunts for me. I haven't been COM
Portable a minute since I left home.
Washington's a pretty good place to
live in. 1t suits me winter and sum-
mer, and the next time I let anybody
drag me away from my own home for
"a month or six weeks during the siz-
cling weather, the n that does the
dragging-he or she-is going to be
told a few things. I didn't want to go
in the first"
"Why," put in Mrs. Jobson, "you
know that you were talking about 60
ing to the beach with anticipation for
weeks before We"
"No, I wasn't, Mrs. Jobson," inter-
cupted Mr.. Jobson. II didn't any
more want to go to the beach than I
wanted to go to Jail, and you're evil
IDENTIFY suffering from an atrophied
memory when you say otherwise. I
wanted to stay home and be COM
Portable, but I was wheedled and bam-
boozledan coddled into kiting off with
you to a swarming, teeming summer
resort, where I had to sit on,a red hot
hotel porch and talk pretty to a lot of
people that I had nothing in common
with and that probably despised me in
their Utmost souls, and where I had to
founder around in ice-cold sea water
every day because all the rest of the
gang did it, and where I had to go
along on cruises in sailboats and get
sick every time you nodded to me that
you wanted to go, and where I didn't
get a proper meal of victuals during
my entire stay, and where I had to
push you around in a perambulator
and look as if I liked it, just because
all the other imbeciles down there
with strong, healthy, %1o0-pound wives
perambulate their wives, and where I
felt in general like a salt. mackerel in
the bottom of a barrel, It's taken me
! a good many years to get this home
together, and" a. $t&AS y
"'Well, I am sure I would be per-
fectly content to remain at home all
the year around" said Mrs. Jobson.
t"Don't you remember that I suggested
last spring that we remain at home
this year and get a new porcelain
bathtub instead of spending the
money for a trip, and have the house
painted all over, and get a new chif-
fonier and a modern refrigerator"
"You have a gifted Imagination,
Mrs. Jobson," said MI. Jobson. cts a
wonder to me that you didn't take to
the writing of fiction in early life. I'D
like to accommodate you by remem-
boring all that, but my memory isn't
as elastic as it might be convenient for
you; to have it. LIDO remember, how
ever, that you began to tinker with
material for a new bathing suit as
early as the month of March, and that
you began to read the seaside adver-
tisements in the Star paper before the
lilacs began to show up on the mar
ket stands, and that you began to get
letters from hotel keepers down at
the beach, in response to secret
inquiries as to terms, long before the
month of May dragged to it's close,
and that when the first hot day in
June happened alongyou began to pant
and to look wistful and to remark that
you'd neve suffered SO much from the
heat before, and to tell me that you
thought I needed g change and the
salt air badly, and SO on
Didn't you say two weeks before
we started that you pitied folks, that
had to remain in the boiling city all
summer, and" r ry-rgs.aF q
3 Boiling city, Mrs. Jobson?" ex
claimed MI. Jobson. "You never
heard me make use of such a term il
your life with reference, to Washing
ton. All this talk about Washington
being a hot city in the summer il
moonshine. It's cool enough for me
anyhow, and the next time you com
mence to look wistful before the sum
mer's half begun, I'll send you to tn,
seaside, all right, but I'll stay at HON,
myself. I've had all the summer re
sorting I want in mine"
This was the way Mr.. Jobson de
clared himself upon his return iron
the seaside last year. It may be re
marked that in attributing to Mrs
Jobson a wild, understandable desire t,
go to the beach. Mr.. Jobson was, a
usual, just a trife beside the mark
However it a settled thing from tn
time Mr. Jobson issued his pronuncia
mento on the subject of summer trip
-. that there would be no summer tri]
for the Jobsons this year. Mrs. Job
son al content with that understand
Z ing. She had never been particular,
fond of the hotel existence and the in
cessant dressing and plunging abou
of a seaside resort.
frequently during the winter, whel
friends of the Jobsons would ask then
where they were going when the sum
mer came again, Mr.. Jobson would ex
patiate at great length and with mucl
fervor upon the complete lunacy o