Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1900-09-29
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( A College Joke.
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Ny roommate lJilo1 and myself had
worked on some geology charts until
pretty late, and when We finally closed
the books Jim had promptly suggested
that. we 90 down 90 the court for q short
game before retiring ! acquiescea, and
NE went down. A hail hour Of vigorous
exercises. and we were ready for the re
freshing shower This taken ana follow
ed by ge0i rub down, We assembled t0l
the main f8or ot the building. Natural
III, both of as were In tlie best ef spirits.
A full length mirror on the wall near
the doorway allowed us 70 see the main
entrance to the dormitory before any one
who might be coming ia could catch d
glimpse Of us. No sooner had we closed
the door leading down TO the basement
than the front door banged loudly. OF
course. We both looked toward the mir
ror. ia which we saw the reflection II our
chnm Ebert, imlnacuiate, as usual, IN
his dress suit AMI tile hat. =
Lets put up a game on Ebert" sug
Eested Jim.
FAN right: what shall we do?" l re-
piled. lie is out in that rig altogether
too often,' by way Of apology for any.
thing my mischieyous pal might propose.
Il have it, exclaimed Jim. well
along just in time to carry him up stairs.
Come on. It'll he a bully good stunt"
Ebert, by the way. although by no
means total abstainer. prided himself
on his moderation and on the fact that
he had never been known 70 indulge too
heavily. On this particular night he had
been to some church affair early IN the
evening and had dropped into the club
on his way home to play a few games OF
billiards
Quckening our steps, we met our chum
just as he was beginning the ascent Of
the first flight Hello. Ebert; out late
again?" This will never do. old man.
Have TO tell Maud If you don't keep bet
ter hours. you old scamp What. Been
drinking And after a church festival
in the bargain. Oh. Ebert, you're going
to the devil FAST "By the bones of Me
thuselah, but he's full' This last ex-
clamation from Jim, who promptly grab
bed the bewiIdered Elbert by the coat
sleeve and motioned me to do the same.
what In Jericho is the matter with
you fellows?" snapped Ebert. Come
up to bed without waking the proctor.
It's late, and I've got 8 o'clock recita-
ton in the morning. For heavens sake
don't make so much noisew This last
remark addressed to Jim. who was sing.
ing and hiccoughing at the top Of his
| lungs.
Lean on me-" said the irrepressibe
James. ''We'll get up all right with you,
old man, aud we won't give it away.
Cad, but it's peach you've got. Where
did you find it? Careful. now, careful
we're going by Professor Towards
door,
Suddenly the door of Professor How
ards room flew open and the venerable
dispenser of Latin poetry gazed out at
the trio ON the landing. For a moment a
look of surprise fitted over his handsome
face. He knew of Elbert's much vaunt-
ed propriety. This look was succeeded
by a broad grin. Get him up as quietly
as you can, boys, and give him plenty of
bromo seltzer Man is but mortal. Good
night"
| During the moment that the professors
| door had been ajar we had pushed Ebert
| violently from one side of the landing 20
! the other and had drowned all his at
| tempts to explain. He now became fu-
| rious, and his loud expostulations only
| added to the din and brought more people
| to the doors.
"What'll you take for ity' "Drunk
| and dressed up" Take him down and
| drown him." These and a hundred more
| like remarks were showered upon the
| poor unfortunate as we logged him along.
| The uncertain light and the persistence
| with which Jim crowded Elbert's hat
| down over his eyes from time to time left
no chance for doubt as TO his condition.
| Staid old graduates appeared at their
| doorways in pyjamas and bathrobes and
stood there snickering as we bundled the
| supposed jag through the halls.
These same fellows would have slam
med the door in disgust if any of the rest
| of the top floor gang had awakened them
by coming home half seas over. They
looked upon Ebert. however, as almost
too good for his associates, and his fright
FIJI fall from grace made him an object OF
deIision. AT last the top floor was reach
ed, and we LET him go.
well you buffers you've ruined my
reputation al right" said our suddenly
revived friend. but ] must confess ii
was a good joke. was pretty mad
about the third floor, but Eve cooled
down now. Come in and have n drink
shan't try to square myself with How
ard and those stiffs down stairs. but 10
call in our own gang and put them on
It's too good to lose"
joke hugely Ebert was voted the best
fellow on earth, if he sid come home
from church festivals jagged. and we all
settled down to game OF cards. Things
were too much stirred up to think of
sleep that night.
The effects of that joke were fearfully
farreaching, and | wonder that Ebert
did not cut our acquaintance. Maud
heard of it and would not be pacfied un-
til the whole floor went around aud
swore that Ebert never touched a drop
except for medicine. For the whole Of
the rest of that year our poor chum was
always getting unpleasant reminders of
the jag he didn't have. Not till Ebert
left college could the sedate crowd on
the lower floors be persuaded TO believe
that he wasn't as bad as the worst of
the top Fighters. However the fact re