The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-27

VINO ukeS 10 look ike nlmSelI !-BalIl-
more American.
First Suburbanite-I hear that Koo-
| bins new bull dug up the ground, broke
| down the fence and tore nearly every
thing to pieces in the barnyard this
| morning.
Second Suburbanite-Yes; some fellow
| went there early and fastened a pair OF
red spectacles on the animals eyes,
Chicago Tribune.
my wife, said Mr.. Smokers, sis a
truly remarkable woman"
I'VE all know that" we said; but do
/ you wish to specify?''
yes. sir. She wrote, and sold a story
the other day, and she spent only once
/ the money she expected to receive for
| wallpapers Bazaar
MRS. Strongnind is warm advocate
| of woman's rights, is she not2"
'Ohl yes. If she had her way, man
would not be eligible for anything more
important than the vice presidency. -
| Brooklyn Life.
s'Is airy letter here fer me?'
who's you?'
I'm Bill"
'An' who's Bil1?'
Fer the Ian sake, don't you know me?
| I'm Bill, that married Susan, that mar
ried Tom, that died last harvest, when
| cotton wuzn't fetchin' enough ter pay
! fer the picIin', an oil Jones shot a mig
| ger fer stealin' of a mule that wuz lame
| in one leg an foundered in all four; an
/ eff you hain't got no letter fer me, GIN
me me a postal card!''-Atlanta Consti-
tuition.
Mrs. Banks-What do you think of
| your new neighbors?
| moved in when I was down town, and
they have their washing done out
Smart Set.
IT thought you said the war in the
Philippines was practically over"
'WeIl?"
that our troops routed detachment OF
the enemy and killed 100 of them
MY boy, that makes it still more
practically over doesn't it?"-Standard
and Times
Mamma-Johnny. I fear you were not
at school yesterday. Johnny-H'm! I'll
bet the teacher told you. A woman can
never keep a secret. ''-Tit-Bits-
''Have you noticed how tall Arty is
replied the disinterested visitor; art is
long"
Came by it NaturaIIy.-vi What
a naughty, overbearing child that little
freckle-face is! Teacher-It isn't his
fault; his mother is a cook and his
father the janitor of an apartment
house.-Brooklyn Life.
marie, did you bring me present
from Paris?''
"Of course, Harry, and I brought
lot of beautiful things for you to give
me my birthday and our anniversary.
Indianapolis Journal
.oThere,'' said Mr.. Meekton's wife. 81
have won four games of cribbage and
three of bezique-
We'll answered he, that is as it
should be-
you haven't beaten me a single
Il don't care. Henrietta You know
what little things set people talking I
wouldn't for the world have the reputa-
ton of wife-beater.' W ashington
Star.
"who is that quiet, inoffensive little
man over there in the corner?"
'Inoffensive? Say, don't you start him
up; he's the professor who is master of
eight languages. Chicago Record.
Clara-Papa, the minister is down
stairs. He said he dropped in to play
whist.
playing poker. He'll break up the game.
Clara-Sha.ll I tell him2
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. no! The last time
he cleaned US out--Detroit Free Press
Roosevelt is making eleven speeches
a day out west"
yes; when he gets through his cam
paign he'll be tired enough to settle
down and make real nice, quiet vice
president. '-Indianapo Journal.
1.-THE only thing said the passenger
in the skull cap, that can rouse the
voters to anything like enthusiasm is
the presence of one of the leading can
didates. Wherever go it's the same old
story of apathy"
by Georger' exclaimed the passenger
with the ink sopts on his coat. Apathy
isn't what's ailing mel"
Mop
mo I'm trying to publish a Demo-
cratic daily paper in Iowa. ''-Chicago
Tribune.
uburbanite-Why, sir; we have ev-
that heart could desire or fancy die
tate.
New Yorker-And still come come. to
New York twice a week!
Suburbanite-WeIl, yes; but ONLY to
buy luxuries and necessities.-Judge
Higg1eson-They tell me Jordan is a
somnambulist." Inskip-The deuce he
Isl And he was only yesterday Boosting
that he had always voted the straight
ticketi-Boston Transcript.
No Pleasures in City Life-''Pa, let's
move in the country; I don't want to
live in town" Why not. Bobby"
I'm grown up an gray-headed she won
femme keep a pig. "-Indianapolis Jour
nal
In Brooklyn.-"Do you want a trans
fer2" asked the conductor What for -
asked the man with the alligator bag.
so that you can take another car
mo, sir; have waited twenty minutes
for this one, and propose to hang on
to it''-W ashington Star.