The Savannah morning news., 1900-07-08
THE CHAIR OF TEMPERAMENT.
A Sort of Psychological Dfspensary
for Specified Frames of Mind.

A Sort of Psychological Dfspensary
for Specified Frames of Mind.
New York. July GA learned foreign
professor whose scientific researches have
made his name familiar. has RECENTLY been
appointed to till the newly created chair
of temperament in a local university The
attention given of late TO the study of psy-
chology justifies a statement of the pro-
fessors theories supplemented by instances
actually observed on the occasion of visit
to the laboratory.
1t was a bright. spring morning, when
the very atmosphere seemed charged with
psychology Each changing aspect of the
landscape and every sh ftirg breeze Sc med
TO carry with it It's own mood and temper.
The humble student of science approach
ed the stately buildings of the college,
eagerly anticipating an audience with the
new professor. The visitor was deep in
thought, wondering at the mysteries OF
human nature Why do humorists always
possess a serious, not TO say pathetic cast
of countenance? And how is it that I'M
dertakers generally have such rich
fund of amusing anecdotes? Pondering
such profound problems as these the hum
BILE student entered the Hall of Science
and approached the laboratory of the pro-
fessor.
The large room possessed what might
be called conglomerate appearance, re-
sembling in different ways a drug shop,
grocery store and laboratory. There
was raised platform at one end of the
room, aud on it stood a long desk sur
mounted by tins, bulbs. packages and the
general litter of a laborat tory table. The
walls We're hung here and there with what
looked like phrenologists' articles similar
to those on the table. In a large arm
chair, swung on a swivel and tilted back
at comfortable angle. sat the professor
himself, his long and bushy hair giving
him q dsheveled though distinguished APP
pearance; and through glasses which seem
ed two sizes too large his keen eyes shot
sharp but kindly glance of inquiry
the visitor entered.
After inquiring whether this was the
professor and being ans wered in the afiir-
native, the student said:
Il was much interested, professor IN
reading the notice of your work in the
last number of The Microbe. well as
the editorial reference, supplemented by
your portrait in Mind. But l wanted
| more intimate knowledge of yourself, your
theories and operations, and consequently
| have Travelled considerable distance with
that purpose in view. Do l understand
| that people actually visit you here and
| have you dispense frames OF mind to them
| at so much per frame?"
mot exactly" the professor replied
slowly. Il do not make any charge for
| the frames of mind I induce. l merely
ask that the subjects report results to me,
| 80 that l may continually be adding data
| to that which 1 already possess. The
truly scientific mind is above pecuniary
considerations"
"T admire your principles" said the
student they do you honor. But
have never heard definite statement of
! your theories for the production of tenn
permanent to order, or artificial frames
of mind. viii you enlighten me?'
with pleasure" said the professor.
The principle on which base my work
may be stated in this way: 1t is a well
| known scientific fact that certain physi-
| cal causes will produce certain mental
| results. Indeed it would appear that al
| most every state of mind may be pro-
| duced as the result of something par
| taken Of For example, inhaling certain
| gases induces laughter. On the other
| hand. the simple onion has been known
| 20 move the most obdurate and hard
| hearted to tears. Coffee induces wake
| fulness, and many well know drugs will
| bring about sleep. Champagne induces
| mrth; while certain forms of pie are
! apt to sit heavy in the stomach and
cause melancholy. My work has been to
bring this branch of science TO practi-
| cal issue. And thus, after years of as
siduous study and careful investigation,
| am able to conduct a sort of psycholo-
cal dispensary. There is some lit e
| time yet before shall have to begin my
| class lectures. And in the meantime you
| may remain with me here, observing any
| visitor who may call 90 seek my aid or
| advice, and from such incidents as oc
cur you may be able TO gather some val
liable data upon the subject"
| The visitor expressed himself as de-
| lighted with the opportunity. He was
able, while the professor was talking, to
| casa some swift glanoes about the room,
| and carefully note some of its features.
| From reading the labels on various bot
| ties and packages ii became evident that
| the highest shelves held the most expen-
| sive and imaginative elements, NOT great
| ly in demand except by poets. The pro-
fessor said it was an expensive luxury 10
! be a poet poetry was often as severe a
| strain upon the poet himself as upon the
| reading public The visitor felt a wild,
| but perfect natural, thrill of Joy on re-
| ceiving this information. He would have
! fallen upon the professors neck in
| grateful embrace il it had not seemed
| such an undignified thing to do. Such is
| the enthusiasm of youth.
Some graduated substance like sugar
| was observed to be scattered on the long
| table, as IL the bag containing the grains
| had burst Seeing inquiring looks wan
| dering over the table, especially at these
| sprinkled grains, the professor remarked
| that they were simply few grains of
| common sense The visitor took the lib
| erty to brush a few of them off and rut
| them in his pocket. One can never tell
| when a grain of common sense may be
needed.
Hardly had the professor ceased speak
| ing when one Of his regular customers
| called He wished to procure some bitter
| sarcasm. He proved to be a politician
glrding up his loins for a campaign. In
putting up the packages the professor laid
stress upon taking the substance on an
empty stomach. ~ seemed to be in the
| form of hard cold crystals. The man
forthwith tossed some of 1t into his mouth.
You could hear it crunch between his
teeth and that 1t was bitter soon showed
itself in the expression of his face. The
observer reflected that in all probability
the political air would soon be elecus
with hurting darts of sarcasm; and in
reading the press reports later on IL was
plain that in his stump speeches the man
had rhetoricaly torn his political opbo-
nents to shreds. The professor expl9ined
that there were various substances which
were useful In inducing bitter sarcasm
Even such simple things as lobster salad
or Welsh rarebit, accompanied by indi-
eestion may prove sufficient to induce
some l.lter sarcasm the following DAY