davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
CITY RATS.
Di~ficulties Encountered by Shop
kecpers In Getting rid of Tn

Some of the big up town stores are
greatly bothered by rats. This is not pc
culiar to stores where food supplies are
stored, but applies even to places where
fabrics and clothes are carried. Some Of
the older buildings along Washington
street are infested to such an extent that
much damage results. The rodents ap-
pear to find access to Easements through
drains. At least il is supposed they do,
though it seems scarcely possible where
plumbing is pretty carefully looked after.
Places where furs are carried have to
be very carefully watched. for it has hap
pcned that a few energetic rats with good
teeth have gnawed their way through q
great many dollars worth Of merchandise
in n single night.
In some places they are so numerous
that a cat Is wed and simply will
not attempt to attack them. In one store
basement a few nights ago a wire COM
partment trap. familiarity called n French
trap, corrallcd 10 big rats, which made
lots OF fun next morning for a terrier that
lives in Avery street. This trap is sup
posed to be invincible, and, in fact, it Is
seldom a rat beats 1t, but recently q
young dog that found several rats in one
of them, when there happened to be no
one about to look after him, turned the
trap over in his anxiety to get at the prey.
This dropped the shutter. which Is the
secret of the trap, and allowed all the
rats to pass ont. Since that not n rat has
been caught in that trap. although it has
been repeatedly relieved of its bait. The
dog had given the rats the tip. and they
have ever since succeeded in holding the
shutter down while they hauled the bait
over it, thereby escaping Imprisonment
themselves. Some legs of roasted chick
en- were strapped with wire to the inside
OF the inner cage, and yet the rats got all
but the bare bones and didn't get caught
at all. To any one who knows the eff
cheney of the French trap this story may
seem almost incredible. but II is neverthe-
less true.
1t has been found In several stores that
the trap is most attractive to the rats
when it is bnited with lobster. For a night
or two it is well baited and left open at
both ends, so that the rats may pass
through it freely. Then one end is closed
and locked. That night the number of
rats captured will be limited only by the
capacity Of the wire cell.-Boston Herald.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
A FILIPINO
II Is childish In Size and Very Gaudy
In Color.

In Color.
Among the interesting trophies soldiers
in the Philippines have sent to Des
Moines is n uniform which Frank Mer-
rill of Company II, son of jeremiah NJ.
Merrill Of 1904 East Ninth street, took
from a captured Filipino and sent to his
parents in this city. The uniform is
patterned somewhat after the Spanish
uniform and Is quite fantastic for use
IN wartines. The red and yellow co,nbi-
nations so popular with the Spaniards
appear on the blouse of the uniform.
Some idea Of the inferiority of the
Filipinos and their insigniifcance as COM
pared with Americans can be had from
the size of the uniform. 1t would be a
good fit for a 12-year-old American boy,
and 1t is easy to believe all that has been
said concerning the diminuNve Filipinos
after examining this uniform.
The trousers to the Uniform are Of
red calico and are made regular pyjama
style, being tied at the top with n draw
string. Along the outer seam of the legs
are stripes Of black velvet. The blouse
is made of heavy cotton material, which
is woven with alternate pin stripes Of
white and black. The collar of the
blouse is Of red calico and is adorned
In front with two stripes Of yellow calico.
The cuffs Of the blouse are also Of red
calico and bear three stripes of yellow.
The front Of the jacket bears six stripes
of red and yellow calico combined.
Altogether the costume looks as IL II
might have been designed by some child
who had a fondnsss for bright colors.
The sewing on the garments has been
done with n sewing machine, and the
blouse has been fastened with hooks and
eyes and buttons similar to those in
common use in this country.-Des
Moincs Qa.) Capital.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
An Astonished Bachelor.

Stopping at a local hotel is n bachelt
Of uncertain age. Although his whiskel
and hair are well tinged with strcaks Z
gray, he makes as much of an effort {
any woman ever did to conceal from II
public the number OF years he has bee
upon the earth. He has so far battle
every effort on the part of the oth'
guests TO ascertain his age. The man
always ready to be led into an argumei
about his age. seemingly with a view
giving out the impression that he is SIT
young His persistence has brought SON
Of the guests TO believe that he i not lie,
than GO years of age The subject wa
brought up recently at the supper tabl'
when the bachelor said:
I'm a young man. Why, Bridget hei
referring to the waitress who was stan,
ing beside the table, says I'm not Of
enough to get married yet
That's what ! said" she replied, "bll
gintlcmen, II takes some men a long viii
to reach that age, and sometimes doc
ing at the astonished bachelor they ne
err o."-Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
THE CHINESE NEW YEAR.
Some Special Observances That
Americana MiGht Do Well to AdOut.

"The New Years festival OF the Chi
nese, said to be the most complete holt
day season kept by any nation Of the
earth, is celebrated wherever a single
Chinnman is found, whether in Picking
or New York" writes Belle NJ. Brain in
Woman's Home Companion. at is q
movable festival, falling on any date
between Jan. 81 and Feb. 10. Prepare
tons for the great holiday begin weeks
beforehand. The accumulated dirt Of
many months disappears as if by magic.
Even the Chinaman himself passes
through the cleaning process, washing
his clothes and bathing his person. the
latter being q great event in the lives Of
a few, since 1t occurs but once a year!
Buildings OF every description are
deliberately decorated. Flowers are in
great demand, the favoritc being the
Chinese narcissus. The prospect of hap
piness for the year Is believed to be In
proportion to the number of flower stalks
produced from n single bulb.
During the closing days of the old
year Chinese streets present a busy and
animated scene. Shops are thronged
with customers eagerly laying in large
quantities Of food. clothing and New
Years gifts. Debtors and creditors are
seen hurrying to and fro endcavoring to
settle their accounts, for, according to a
most commendable custom. all debts must
be paid or settled in some satisfactory
manner before the New Year dawns. To
meet these liabilities shopkeepers offer
their goods at unheard of prices. and
families frequently part with odd bits Of
bric-a-brac, curious relics and valuable
ornaments for n sum p~itifully small. No
disgrace is equal to being found on New
Years morning with an unpaid debt. On
the other hand, the creditor who fails to
collect his debts at this time may not
press them again for many months. He
therefore pursues his debtor far into the
night, continuing his search into the New
Years day if necessary. This he may do
il he carries a lighted lantern to indicate
that he is still engaged in last nights
business and has not discovered that the
day has dawned!'
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
Optnions of n Pessimist.

One reason why lightning never strikes
twice in the same place is that the place
isn't there the next time.
When a prominent man dies, he re-
ceivcs credit for a lot Of good stories
that clever reporters write.
1t requires genius to do well what ono
doesn't like 10 do.
One crow can destroy 100000 insects
in n year. but the crow is a good deal like
the hired mamie prefers TO sit on the
fence and think.
There is supposed to be character in a
woman's mouth. but too often it is some
other womnn's character.
The man who goes around Boosting
that he il the peoples friend must he
treated well to be kept from going over
to some higher bidders.-Chicago Times
Herald.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
The Effort of His Life n Failure.

W. y. Gilbert had a novel experience
before he wrote for the stage when he
was a barrister waiting for his first brief
1t was long in coming. and when it did
come Mr.. Gilbert determined. of course,
to make the effort of his life.
He was intrusted with the prosecution
of an old Irish woman for stealing Il
coat, and when he began the speech tina,
he had prepared and rehearsed so care
fully the old dame at once began to inter
ject: "Oh. We divil, sit down." Sure,
now. he's a loier, yer honor!" ''Sit down.
ye spalpeen." Hes known to all tho
perlice. yer honor After some minutes
OF this abuse Gilbert asked the record
er's Intervention, but that official WAS toe
busy laughing. So the effort OF his life
wal not a success.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
HOROSCOPES.


Before the sibyl with her haunted eye.
Two sisters sat with delicate arms enlaccd;
Watched as she dealt the cards and, without
haste,
spelt out the rune Of their two destinics.
Brown haired and gold haired. fresher than the
dawn,
Poppy and white anemone wers they;
A flower Of autumn and a flower Of May,
They watched to see their fstes from darkness
drawn.
life will be sad for you and yours, heighoi'
:. The sibyl told the autumn colored maid.
"But will my lover love me3" Aye" she said.
why. then, ] shall be all too happy So"
with earthly love you never shall be fed"
The sibyl told the lady white as snow.
But shall ] love at allf" AYE, even so."
Then happy ] shall live and die she said.
Translated by Nora Hopper From the French,
by Francois Coppee.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
A THOUGHTFUL MINER.
But h Chinamnn Didn't Need Il
Medicine. Alter All.


One day "A miner named Bascomb can
into Reed City after provisions. and aft
a couple of hours and when ready
start for home he said to the prophet,
Of the general store:
Look here, Bill, I'd about ~forgotto
sunthin. On the claim mex to me is
Chinyman, an he 'peered to me this NOR.
In to be a mighty sick heather. I'm AZ
the Chinyman as a rule, but this fello
seems to be purity decent, an mebbe /
better tax some medicine back vii
me"
"What kind of medicine?' was asked
dunno, but sunthin or other.'
Has he got a feverT'
Seemed that way"
"Takin on anyT'
"Jabberin all thitime. an his eyes rolf
l left him a dish Of water"
II think he has got the mountain f
ver," said the dealer, IAN | guess you
better take him some salts. 30 viii
man kin ever tell what ails a Chinyma.
but salts will be as apt to hit as to mi.
him. Just give him the salts, an IL 20
feel like doin any more rub the soles {
his feet with pork fat"
Bascomb went way with the salt
and 1t was two or three weeks before /
showed up again. He was after pr
visions, and the dealer suddenly ~recollec
ed the sick Chinaman and said:
"Oh, by the way, how's that Chipyms
you got the salts fur?"
why, he was dead when I got back
was the reply. Il told you he was purr
sick, but | didn't think be would 70 o
so soon. Yes, he was dead as a HERR
an | took the salts myself"
Anybody find out what he died off,
ooh. yes"
II was thinkin it might not have bee
the fever. Them Chinymen are grei
hans to hev fits"
"Noap, 1t wasn't fever. / examined Il
body, an ] seen it wasn't fever.
wasn't fits, neither. 1t would have bee
all waste to gin him the salts. anyhow
What allied the critter?'
Somebody had put a bullet into hin
an I'm kind OF 'fraid it was me. In ii
night ! heard somebody spookin arour
to git my tools, an | blszed away an dr.
him off. Yes, sir, he had a bullet rigi
through his body, but didn't let on to- n
al them salts would hey been waste
Gurus kusses. amt they? Didn't let ,
about the bullet in him fur fear OF hurt
my feelin's!'-Chicago News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
HE KNEW THE ROPES.
II Was Certainly n Case of Horse
md Horse,

II always hate to interview another
newspaper man" said an old reporter.
They are always so confoundedly know
ing, ~ at least tssy pretend to be, and If
you try any of the innocent little tricks
of the trade they are apt to come back at
you with the ice chest grin.
Il remember on one occasion | was
sent to interview a newspaper man who
had come to a certain city to be present
at a secret political conference as tho
representative of a district boss. In
other words. he wasn't there in 4 profess
sional capacity, but merely as the boss
confidential friend. Well, l saw him in
his room at the hotel, and he told me
CURLY that he had nothing to say.
IAN right l replied. but I don't mind
telling you that We already have a pretty
full account OF this affair from another
source. l leave it to you, as a journalist,
whether it wouldn't be better to give me
q plain statement than to run the risk of
a garbled report
my dear fellow he exclaimed, slap
ping me cordially on the back, let her
garble. Garble it thoroughly! Garble il
from all four corners and across the mid
die. This Is a story you simply ant
garble too much"
81 left him. somewhat puzzled at his
confidence. and, not being able to find
out anything anywhere, we printed next
to nothing about the meeting. Next day
| happened TO meet my man again and
expressed some surprise at his sangfroid
overnight.
"'You didn't seem to care how much
we knew | said.
"'Oh. but l did, he replied. 4 was in
agonies OF apprehension until you made
that remark about the danger Of a gar
bled report. Then | knew you didn't
know Il blamed thing. You see he add
ed confdentially, I've told that lie my
self exactly 10 times New Orleans
Democrat,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
SHE WANTED Ais.
Indignant at the Telephone Girl VIII
suggested Ambiguity.

A number of women were waiting in
long line for a chance to use one tcl
phone in a dry goods store in the sho
ping district. Naturally they blamed Il
telephone operator, who was perfect
cool and apparently idle, and not helpii
at all. All she did was now and then
every FIVE minutes, in fact-to pull a wi
here and touch n button there. The W
men. one and all, thought this was i
considerable. A clerk certainly ought
keep people from talking so long. or
least hustle around and make a show
waiting on the others. Finally one w
man could stand it no longer. Rushil
from the line, she went up to the oper
tor and said:
Il want AIS"
"Whct?' said the operator.
"Four hundred and fifteen" repli,
the customer.
-Four hundred and ifteen WHAT" sa
the operator.
You inpertinent hussy, I want you
give me AIS Immediately" was the co
tinuation.
Yes, but Cortlandt or Eighteen
street or what? There are several 415
Which do you wantY"
Not being a telephone person, I do n
know such things" was the indignant 7
tort.
The operator asked whom she wante
You're impertinent. Why should
inform you whom ! want to talk to-" Al
she looked around to the waiting lii
for commendation
The girl then handed her the telephol
book. She found the number. 1t W
an up town station. Instead Of tel
phoning. however, she waited TO spec
her mind. Meanwhile the sixth persC
behind her was talking over the wiz
She was then told that she must wait h
turn again.
I'll do no such thing; I'll send a tel
gram. won't patronize a compai
hat has such insulting employees"
New York Commercial Advertiser.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25

The Westminster tobacco box has all
interesting history. In l1l3 n horn to-
bacco box. worth about fourpencc. was
presented to the Past Overscers' society.
Every year for close upon two centuries
silver inscription plates have been added
TO the box, which has grown from a size
Of 3 by 3 inches to II width of . feet
and a height Of 30 inches. In weight it
has increased from Il few ounces to over
100 pounds. Each year the outgoing
overseer hands to his successor the box.
the burgesses' loving cup and other treas
ures OF the ancient city of Westminster.
London Globe.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
Preventive Measures,

A French project wrote to a mayor re-
questing him 10 take precautions against
the cholera, which had broken out in his
department. The mayor was rather pug
gled at these instructions, which appear
ed vague to him. but after deep thought
he answered that he and his electors
were prepared for the plague.
On inquiring into the measures taken
by the worthy mayor in order TO ascer-
tain their efficiency, it appeared that he
had caused as many raves to be dug as
there were Inhabitants.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
Old People Made Young.

]. c. Sherman, the veteran editor of the
Vermontville (Mich.) Echo. has discover
ed the remarkable secret of keeping old
people young. For years he has avoided
Nervousness, SleepleSsness. INDIGESTION,
Heart Trouble. Constipation and Rheuma-
tism, by using Electric Birters. and lie
writes; 1T can't be praised too highly.
1t gently stimulates the kidneys, tones the
stomach, aids digestion. and gives a splen-
did appetite. 1t has worked wonders for
my wife aud me. It's a marvellous remedy
for old peoples complaints" Only zoe. at
j. w. O'Sullivan's drug store.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
GOSt1, WHAT FUN

Ne n pa n ma n Bill
N Harry Green n Boss.
N Susie Slough, N all tn folks
ROM our place, ! guess,
Had a picnic tn other day
Way down e winder's wood.
N two big baskets filled way UP
18th everything ats good.
Pa he put a swing up there
N didn't know tn limb
Nuz rottin till 1t all kun down
N fell on top O. him,
N when I lated pa swore, n ma K
She said, "Ain' you ashamo7" =
= N pa he up n wallopod me
IN said ] wuz T. blame.
Ma she said she'd never saw
Sech carryin's on before,
y pa he set ri't on q nail,
N his new pants got tore;
N 'en he swored q awful lot
N wished he hadn't KUN,
N ma she said: ivy don't you got
You know tn way Z hum"
N Fill he fell into tn crick.
N ma she fshed him out
N rolled him roun till water KUN
A.squirtin from his mout'.
. pa he wulloped Bill a heap
Fer fallin down tn bank,
N Bill coushed up a awful lot
More water he had drank.
N Susie Slough she stubbed her toe,
N 'er nose begun T. bleed,
IN ma wuz certain like O. that
She hadn't never seed.
IN Harry Green he sprained his arm
A%-fsllin out tn swing,
= N ma she jos set down n cried,
N cried like everything.
IN bimeby when she went T. git
Tn lunch fer us t eat
Tn ants had crawled through ell tn thing
N ct up mos tn meat.
N EN- q bee stung Bessie Green,
N my. but she did yell!
e N pa he jes' set down n said,
He thought at this wuz hell.
IN 'en when we wuz eatin what
Tn ants had overlooked
A grea' big thunder clap II KUN,
N my, tn woods wun shocked
+ N ma she picked up everything,
N we all had T. run;
( guess tn picnic ended then,
But. gosh. twas lots O. funi
, Detroit Free Press,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
His Wife Saved Him.

My wife's good advice saved my life
writes f.. M. Ross of Waited, Tenn, for
/ had such a bad cough | could hardly
breathe. ! steadily grew worse under doc
TORS treatment, but my wife urged
me to use DR.. Kings New Discovery for
Consumption, which completely cured
me. Coughs, Colds. Bronchitis, La Grippe,
Pneumonia, Asthma, Hay Fever and ali
maladies of Chest. Throat and Lungs ara
positively cured by this marvellous medi-
cine. SOC. and 800. Every bottle guagnn-
teed. Trial bottles free at J. w. O'Sulli-
vans drug store,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
The DrIWht Child.
Herald.

When the freckled girl took a seat d.
rectly across the car from the bright
child, the others were oppressed with
forebodings.
But they had not long to remain in
suspense.
There's a complexion with a pattern
in it, exclaimed the bright child almost
at once.
Hereupon the others breathed more
freely, for il was likely that the worst
was over,-Detroit Journal.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
Perfectly Clear,

Canvasser-Do you wish to subscribe
anything to the aid of the Society For
the Suppression OF Crime?
Man Of the House-Do you make any
thing out Of this yourself?
Canvasser - Certainly. The society
pays me a commission on all | collect.
Man Of the House-Then it is better
for you hat l should not subscribe any
thing.
Canvasser-Why so?
Mar OF the House-Why, II I should
subscribe and crime should be suppressed
you would be out of a job.-Tit-Bits.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25

Il am indebted to one Minute Cough
Cure for my health and life. 1t cured ihe
of lung trouble following grippe" Thous-
ands owe their lives to the prompt action
of this never failing remedy. 1t cures
coughs, Group, bronchitis, pneumonia
grippe and throat and lung troubles, lis
early use prevents consumption, 1t is the
only harmless remedy that gives immedi'
ate results.
Parker, Z. Gosselin, Z. r.. Crandall, WI,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
Saved by a Conjecture.

"What made you take all that impu-
dence from that fellow?" asked the
friendly passenger Of the conductor.
"Why, he didn't even pay his fare"
That's it," said the conductor. III he
had paid his fare. I'd have broken his
head. but he's riding on a pass, and may
be he has n pull."-Harlcm Life.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25

"Just think of the men who became
great by burning the midnight OIL"
YES" answered the man who speaks
In weary accents. "One could afford to
burn oil. Those men didn't have TO run
risks and put in their good money burn
Ing gas at $l.25 per 1000 feet."--W Wash
ington Star.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
STILL UNDECIDED.

Poor Skorcher lost his bet"
"What was that?"
"He bet Scouter that he could make 100
miles on his wheel inside eight hours"
And couldn't he do it?"
Oh. yes, he could have done II, but he
stopped at 80. thinking that was the end
of the entury."-ExchanSa.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
Wns Thinking of Trusts.

Long Bearded Party Examining speci-
mems tackled on walD-What fur kind Of
a beast Is this?
Museum Attendant-That is an octo.
pus, sir.
Long Bearded Party-Gosh! That lit.
tie thing?-Chicago Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
Nomenclature,

"Have you studied any other languages
besides English 2"
Yes" answered Miss Cayenne, three;
golf, baseball and yachting ASKING
ton Star.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
Got Home by Accident.

"Dad's been runnin fer Office ten year,
steady" he said. but the other day he
lost his way m run against home, break
in his head In a sorter head end collision.
an the family hauled him in, an shook
hans with him. IN nanny put on her
specs and hollered, Goodness gracious.
how you has changed! ATLANTA Con.
stituti0n,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25

Novelist--I heard a man speak very
highly of my latest boob the other day.
Friend-Is that so? Who was he?
Novelist-The n~ewsdealer on a railway
train. He almost persuaded me to buy q
copy.-San Francisco Examiner.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
The TOURING Count,

"Baseball Is re glorious game?"
Eyes. count. it u.s."
at is re American out and outy"
Fright, count"
"Ie one national game Of re people?"
Eyes"
at represents re peopleT
at does"
Then who can blame re foreigner
when he say re American love re bolster
Gus, he love re missile throwing, and hs
claim everything ?"-Chicago News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-01-25
A Good Plnn.

Browu-Do you still employ DR.. Pelle-
teer?
Jones-Why shouldn't we? Up to the
present time he hasn't killed any OF us.
Brown-And when you are all killed off
you'll get a new physician? Well. |
don't know but that is as good a plan as
any.-Boston Transcript.