Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-03-31
HOW HE MET HIS WIFE

A newspaper man Of this town who has
to work o. nights took his wife to the Co.
lumbia Theater on Monday night last, and
left her there, saying that he'd be back by
the time the show was over to take her
home.
Then he went to his office, took off his
coat and cuffs. and sat down to write two
columns to his string Of western news
papers republican) about the good inten-
tons of Congress with respect to Porto
Rico. dwelling with particular emphasis
upon how the whole people would rise up
and love the Porto Rican tariff when once
they understood 1t, ETC., etc.
Along toward 10 o'clock he suddenly re-
membered that he had wife, and then he
rubbed his weary eyes and wondered If lie
didn't have an appointment to take here
somewhere or other or fetch her back from
somewhere or other, or something like
that. Then 1t gradually dawned upon him
that not only did he have wife, but that
she was at the Columbia Theater. and that
he would soon be due to go after her and
escort her home. He looked at his watch.
The dial read 10 O'Clock.
PLENTY of time he muttered to himself,
and then he wrote a letter to a managing
editor out west, giving his personally-con-
Quoted view that a certain great political
party was making jay OF Itself. When
he had finished this he looked at his watch
again. Still 10 o'clock.
'Derned watch has stopped" said the
newspaper man to himself. but It's not
more'n quarter after ten, and I've got
plenty of time
Then he put on his cuffs and coat leis-
urely. and started for the theater. He
stopped at a brother newspaper mans Of
flee on his way to tell him (his brother
newspaper mani what drivel he (his
brother newspaper NAM had been writing
for his (hs brother newspaper mans
string of papers of late. Then he slowly and
thoughtfully wendell his way in the dtrec-
ton of the theater. He could see when he
was still block away that he was in plen-
ty of time. for there was nobody about the
theater entrance. He had seen the show
in New York, and so he pulled out cigar
and started smoke, standing in front of
the theater. He noticed that there weren't
any carriages about the theater, and this
struck his as odd.
iels' opening night" said he to himself.
"Only crazy people 'ud come out on a
night like this. not saying any hard things
about the wife Of my BOSOM"
Then he went on smoking his cigar and
looking up and down the dark, quiet street.
ut must be poor house inside for fair,
though, he unused, after peerinS through
the theater's storm doors and noticing the
deserted lobby. Il can remember when
Frank Daniels used to get all the money
in this town. weather or weather,
every time he came along with his bum
plug hat and frazzled cigar and PIGGY lit
losing his grip around this neighborhood?
Should think there 'ud have been enough
people bought seats in advance last week
before they knew what the weather was
going to be toye made better showing
than this. Oh, well, it's the same with all
stage favorites, | SuppOse-they have their
little garish day, and then they begin to
flicker. and finally people can't be dragged
to see EN- cavort, not by wild horses
Whereupon he fell to musing of all the
celebrated theatrical stars he'd seen rise
and set, and it all seemed mighty. dismal
musing. He pulled his overcoat about him
and buttoned it, and tugged impatientIy
at his cigar.
81 his is about as raw a night as a grip
microbe 'ud care to be abroad on" he said,
shiveringly. BY jung, l wish the derned
old show 'ud wind up and let my wife out.
There are a whole lot worse places than
bed on night like this"
Then he took another peek through the
storm doors opening into the lobby
We'll, this must be frosty night for
the little man with the sawed-off shape
he muttered Looks like morgue inside
there. Wonder how Daniels likes to get
the cold storage this way? I'll bet it makes
him sore. Funny l don't hear any wild
vociferous applause out here too. / didn't
think the Washington folks 'ud give Daniels
the frozen face like this, honest I didn't
Why. there can't be more than eighteen
people In the house, judging by the deadly
solitude that seems to reign around here,
and
Just then a smooth-faced man with a ci-
gar In his face emerged from the box office
inside, locked the door. and strolled out of
the lobby. 1t was Mr.. Joseph Luckett the
manager of the Columbia.
Hello. Jo," said the newspaper man.
See they've passed you the trapped mitt
tonight.
Why. hello there. pal" said Mr.. Luckett.
Been inside?"
Mop" said the newspaper man. Saw
the show over in the big town. Just waiting
for my wife. Pretty tiny house, eh?''
'Tiny?' said Mr.. Luckett. I'VE stood 'em
on their heads in the aisles. Played to ca
pacity and several hundred over"
That's funny" said the newspaper man.
Pretty funereal around here for such a
huge conclave. isn't it?''
My boy" said Mr.. Luckett. going over 10
the newspaper man and laying his hand af-
fectionately on his shoulder. "go home and
see if you can't sleep it off by tomorrow
morning. It's after midnight, and the
shows been over for about hour and
half"