davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
He Concentrated.

/ Professor Countemfast is small
man with a large mentality. His wife
is tall woman, who believes in the
power Of matter over mind. The pro-
fessor had been absorbed the whole
evening in a profound paper on the
mental characteristics of people who
were unhappiIy married.. Suddenly
looking up. he remarked:
My dear. are you aware of the fact
that n mans brain weighs about 315
poundsf'
"Humph! You've just read that,
haven't you?"
"Er-er-why-er-o yes; certainly,
of course
We'll. that article says a woman's
brain is not so heavy. eh?'
''Er-er-yes. it certainly does, butt
And it also states that a woman's
brain is of much finer quality, doesn't
it,"
"Er-er-well, yesI you are quite
right. my dear"
Now. listen to me. Just concen-
trate your 80 pound brain on that
scuttle and figure out how much it will
weigh after you bring it full of coal
from the cellar" The professor meek
ly bowed his great head, and. as he de
parted for the lower regions in search
of abstract Information, he murmured:
The man who thinks that mind Is
superior to matter is an illustrious
Tit-Bits.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
The Astor Butcher Trust.

From the northern end of Chatham
square starts the Bowery. and few
steps from it's commencement is the
ter. which was once the Old Bowery.
Before the Bowery theater and previ-
Gus to the Revolution the same site
occupied by a building which has a
place in history because Washington
slept In it. This was the Bulls Head
tavern. Being close by the city slaugh-
ter houses. all the butchers who came
to town stopped at this inn. making IL
the first commercial inn of its day
During the Revolution Henry Aston,
brother of John Jacob Astor. owned
the Bulls Head tavern. He leased 1t
TO Richard Varian. But Varian went
privateering and left the inn to be
conducted by his wife.
Astor was q butcher and conducted
his business in the Fly market in
Maiden lane. He incurred the enmity
OF all the butchers in the town by con-
ceiving the brilliant idea of riding far
out along the Bowery lane, meeting
the drovers as they brought their cat
tie to town and buying their stock,
which he sold to the other butchers at
his own price. As the lane was really
the only road to the city, Astor in this
way formed trust and prospered for
many years The inn. too, prospered
until 1926. when IT gave place to the
Bowery theater.-Home Journal.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
Using the ChafnR Dish.
Moody's Vote of Thanks.

Possibly the most novel response ever
made to a request to return vote Of
thanks to chairman was that made
by Mr.. Moody during his first visit to
England.
He had attended a meeting al which
the Earl of Shaftesbury was chairman
The duty of proposing a vote of thanks
was assigned to him and the announce
ment made:
Our American cousin, the Rev. Mr..
Moody of Chicago. will now move a
vote of thanks to the noble carl who
has presided on this occasion"
The whole thing was quite ont of Mr..
Moody's line. English formalities might
or might not have come gracefully
from his lips bad he attempted them,
but he did not. Wlth@an utter disre-
gard of conventionality he burst upon
the audience with the bold announce
ment:
The speaker has made two mis-
takes. To begin with. I'm not the Rev.
Mr.. Moody at all. I'm plain Dwight L.
Moody, Sunday school worker. And
then I'm rot your American cousin.
BY the grace of God I'm your brother,
interested with you in our Fathers
work for his children.
And now about this vote of thanks
to the noble earl for being our chair
man this evening" l don't see why
we should thank him any more than
he should thank us. When at one time
they offered to thank our Mr.. Lincoln
for presiding over n meeting in Illinois.
he stopped 1t. He said he'd tried to do
his duty. and they'd tried to do theirs
He thought it was about an even
thing all round"
That opening fairly took the breath
away from Mr.. Moody's hearers. Such
a talk could not be gagged by any
known standard. Mr.. Moody carried
his English audiences with him from
that beginning to his latest labors.-
Youths Companion.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
Thrive without Meat.

1t is the religion of nearly all Asiat-
les to abstain from eating flesh. fish or
fowl. because il is a sin to kill for food
anything that has instinct. "lest it be
hindered on its upward way" Besides.
according TO the doctrine of transmit
grafton of souls. one might kill and eat
ones grandmother. But, aside from
that. vegetable food. it is claimed.
makes better muscle and bone than
meat. Anyway. 1t is we'll known that
the stevedores of Constantinople and
other eastern ports never eat meat. and
that. as a class. they have no superiors
anywhere In the world in physical
strength
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
Why He wanted n Receipt.

There was n lawyer in the Indian
country who had none too good n repu-
tation for honesty. says the Chicago
News.
One of the aborigines employed him
TO do n little legal business. 1t was
done to the clients satisfaction. the
fee duly paid and a receipt for 1t duly
demanded. "a receipt isn't necessa-
ry.'' the lawyer said. But l want it,"
replied the red man. There was some
argument, and the attorney finally de-
mandcd his reason. Since becoming
a Christian 1 have been very careful
In all my dealings that may be ready
for the judgment" answered the brave
Sententiously. land when that day
comes don't want to take time to go
to the bad place to get my receipt from
you" The receipt was made out and
promptly delivered.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09

he asked another Thirty years, sire.
Victim of false accusation" And
you:" to a third. In for life. my
king" "And what had you doneT
Everything you can think Of, my king:
theft. burglary, highway robbery, man.
slaughter. murder. 1 only wonder they
did not sentence me to death" What
is your name?' asked the king. MY
name" replied the first class criminal,
''since l have been here has been 912."
After finishing his tour of inspection
the king said to the governor: ''All the
prisoners here seem to be perfectly in
nocent. There is only one bad mau
among them. No. 912. You had better
let him out. lest he corrupt the Others"
-Argonaut.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
He Doesn't Like AquarIum..

Why any one should ever have de-
sired to own or to visit an aquarium
is q mystery. The view of fish, except
wien nicely griiled or when suspended
at the end OF Il fishing line, is one Of
the most embarrassing of sights. The
other animals when in confinement dis
play traits which are more or less in
teresting. The lion has sense of hu-
NOR and displays it in the most pleas
ing way when he devourS the lion
tanner who has entered too often into
his cage. The bear in his thirst for
buns seems so much like the human
boy that the spectator of his antics
frequently feels an irresistible desire
to hit him with stick.
But the fish has not a single inter
Csting trait. He will swim around the
tank i'm which he is confined with a
persistence which is maddening to the
nervous spectator. He never engages
in genuine fight. but contents himself
with an occasional surreptitious bite
of an cnemy's tail, which gives no true
satisfaction to the beholder. If he
happens to be n large snake thinly dis
guiSed as an eel or an octopus or some
other alarmingly ugly fish, he will
sometimes swim directly at the glass
through which the visitor Is looking at
him and thereby give the latter n mo-
mentary sensation of horror. but the
average fish cares nothing for the pub
lie and treats his visitors with calm
contempt. An aquarium without fish,
like seashore resort without the sea,
is unObjectiOnable. but an aquarium
with real water and real fish is the
drcariest object in nature.-W. l.. AL
den In PearsOn's Magazine.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
The Paris Cab Driver.

Outside of many wine shops in Paris
and in the principal cities Of France a
sign is often to be seen bearing the
words, Au cocher fidcle c'To the faith
full cocher"); beneath it n driver is
pictured. hat in hand. restoring to a
gentleman and lady. the hirers of the
coach, a purse forgotten on the cuSh-
ions of the vehicle. This is not n con-
ception of the artist, nor vile flattery
of the restaurant or wine shop to draw
thither the coachman with foible for
the bottle. hut n reality which often oc
ours and of which the cocher has every
right TO be proud.
Anybody who has lived any length
of time IN Paris will indorse the state
mpnt. VINO has not forgotten an UNI
brella. n walking stick, small satchel
or some little object on the seat or floor
of n public vehicle? And who has not
having taken the number of the We
hicle. withOu; any remembrance of the
physiocnomy Of the driver? By a Sim
pie application TO q special office at the
prefecture of police. where all objects
found in public carriages are deposit
cd and arranged according to the date
and hour at which they were brought
in, one is able promptly to regain pos
session of his lost property.
This reflects great credit on the
Paris "cabbies." few of whom, by the
way. are born Parisians.-Harper's
Weekly.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
A TICKLE IMMIGRANT.
Her Experience with Two Lovers n
Uncle Sans Barge ONCE.

Her Experience with Two Lovers at
Uncle Sans Barge ONCE.
There seem to be manifold Oppor-
tunities among the immigrants coming
to America on shipboard for falling in
love, particularly Oh the slower steam
ers. when people are thrown together
for a period of from II to is days
says John GIlmer Speed in Ainslee's.
In this case a worthy young Russian
was cheated out of a very pretty bride
by n likely Italian fellow traveller of
the maiden. strangely enough, she
knew not one word of italian nor he
a word of Russian, yet the brides
cOuntryman was Tilted. and the panto-
mime lovers were married and set
forth gayly and confidently 10 learn
each other and the great new world
they had entered at one and the same
time.
Another case was equally ludicrous.
A Swedish maiden Of somewhat tickle
mind fell in love with n fellow voy-
ager without appriSing him of the fact
that she was betTothed to another man
whom she was to meet at the barge
Office and marry. 1t was her intention
to hurry ashore with her new lover
and outwit the former by a prior cere-
mony. but the red tape OF the Office
prevented that. and the fist lover came
to welcome his bride. She then as
promptly fell in love with No. 1. But
when No. pleaded and threatened.
she could not decide which one she
loved the better. so she was detained
while the two men haunted the barge
office. glarinC at each other.
When the detention time had elaps-
cd. the bride. still not knowing her
mind. was sent unceremoniously back
on the same steamer thai brought her
over, both Tilted lovers abandoning the
field in despair. But on arriving on
her native soil once more the maiden
dared not face her people. so back she
came, having just money enough to
pay her passage. and sent for lover No
l. declaring that she loved him the bet
ter He replied that he was very much
obliged. but as he had already married
a handsomer girl in the interval he was
compelled to decline to come for her
The maiden then sent word To No. to
like effect. but he declared that he had
had enough of the tickle feminine and
thus I'm defcat the maiden was trans
ported back again to face the leers and
jccrs of her native hamlet"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN.
An Incident Tint Happened In the
Ernnco-Prussinn MRr.

1t is Il peculiar circumstance that
hardened and trained troops will 20
through Il long fight surrounded 10y all
the horrors that are inseparable from
war without finching and with the ut
most apparent callousness. and the
same men will be struck terrified by Il
single trifing incident.
Every war OF any Importance, partic-
ularly wars between civilized nations,
is prolific in incidents of trivial charac-
ter i'll themselves, but so unusual and
unnatural that they appeal to the nat
ural instructive horror of men more
suddenly and intensely than perhaps
the main tcrrOrS of days Of carnage
and surrounding scenes OF suffering.
Such an incident is the one for exam
pie. which occurred at the battle Of
Worth in the early days of the Franco
PTusSian war.
In the heat Of the great battle wing
of the PruSsian army was charged by
the regiments of French "UiraSSiers in
the hope of turning the wing and facil-
itating the falling back of the French
infantry. But the CuiraSSicrs were
driven back 10y the unninching PIus-
slams. Again the cuiraSSicrs charged,
and again they were driven back by
the whitening fire of shot and shell.
For third time they came down
again, and as the enemy waited for
them to draw nearer a horrible. blood
freezing terror seized the PrusSianS,
and for moment II looked as if they
would turn and fly or he cut down
without defending themselves. But in
Il moment they had pulled themselves
together and beaten back for the third
and last time the gallant cuirassiers.
The sight that terrified the PrusSians
appears nothing very much in black
and white. 1t was n regiment of cuiTas-
sierS led at Il dashinG rate toward them
by headleSs officer sitting upright in
his saddle and apparently encouraging
his men after having been decapitatcd
by cannon ball.-Cincinnati Enquir-
er.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
Nansen's Pancakes.

FROM boyhood hansen accustomed
himself to the use of snowshoes and
would often go 40. or 80 miles on them
without taking any food with him. He
had great dislike to any outfit for his
excursions. On one occasion he and
some of his friends set off on a long
snowshoe expedition, all except Nan
sen having n wallet containing their
provisions on their backs. When they
got to the first resting place, Nansen
unbuttoned his coat and took some
smoking pancakes from the lining and
asked his friends To share his food.
They all refused. however. not caring
for the mode Of conveyance and heat
ing. Nansen replied. More fools you.
for let me tell you there's jam in
them"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
THE STAFF OF LIFE.
Bread Seems to BE Falling In FavoI
as an Article of Diet

Bread Seems to BE Falling In FavoI
as an Article of Diet
81 look upon bread as an article Of
food destined to be completely abolish
ed before many years" said a New
York doctor, for the number of per
sons who are willingly giving up the
use of it increases every year. The ma
jority of them do this on the advice of
their physicians, who find more ground
for recommending abstinence from
bread as they see the results that such
a course Of treatment has on their pa
tents.
For nearly all forms of dyspepsia,
govt, rheumatism and kindred all
ments the patient is first told to shun
bread unless it he submitted to certain
preparation and be taken only IN GER
tain forms. The great increase i'm the
number Of hygienic foods that have
been put upon the market and the al
most invariabIe success of any of these
manufactures which prove an accepta-
bic substitute for bread and other
starchy foods are other indications i'm
the change of the public feeling toward
bread as a simple food which could he
taken under all circumstances.
Some years ago man wrote book
devoted chiefly TO exposing to the
world the harmful qualities of bread.
Persons at that time thought he was
crank. and little attention was paid to
his very sound utterances Oh the sub
ject. But his opinions are now re-ech-
ocd by most physicians, and the great
army of abstainers from bread gathers
recruits every day The revolt against
such well established institution is
naturally little bit slow. But bread
is destined to be ultimately Stunned
even more than IL is today, and this de
struction of a tradition that has lasted
centuries Is already well under way.
Most of its force comes from the COM
plcte satisfaction of the persons who
do give up bread entirely. They are al
ways the most enthusiastic advocates
Of the new theory on the subject
New York Sun.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
HE TESTED HIS SKILL.
The Result Moved the Philosopher
to n DIacourrc on Sncccar

inc hcsult moved the PhtiOsOpher
to n Discourse on Success.
Did you ever realize that the sue
cess that one really enjoys comes only
through hard work." asked the philos-
opher. Il know the average mortal
would prefer to gain his ends without
hard toll. but few do. and | doubt If
those few gain any pleasure from bav-
ing the plum drop in their laps without
any effort on their part.
Il had that fact impressed upon me
only the other day. | Glanced during
an lille moment to pick up an empty
ink bottle. aud something started my
thoughts back to my boyhood days
when an empty bottle furnished an
ideal mark to throw stones at. Smiling
to myself at the childishneSs of Ii, /
set the bottle on a hitchinG post. and
after carefully selecting n number of
stones | stood off about 80 feet and
prepared tn make a test of my skill.
The very first stone that ] threw
caught the bottle fairly in the center
and shattered it into a hundred pieces.
l threw away the stones that had so
carefully gathered I'm disgust. l had
accomplished what had set out TO do
on my first throw. but | fully realized
that 1t was only a fukc and that |
might throw % more stones and not
come anywhere near the mark
Now. If. on the contrary. had miss
ed. l would have carefully noted where
the fault lay and tried TO have correct
cd it on my next throw. The throws
that went too low and too high. as
well as too much to one side. would
have all been valuable lessons to me,
and in the end l would have succeeded
in placing a stone where | wanted It,
That would have been success gained
10y working for II. The very few peo-
pie who gain success on their first
throw have my sympathy.'-Dctroi
Erec Press.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
saved by seaueed.

Il was once saved by seaweed."
said an old sea captain. down in the
Falkland islands. We were being
washed on lee shore when the skip
per. an old fellow from Nova Scotia.
picked up vine that was floating on
the water and hauled ii in until II got
pretty near as big as a mans body;
then he made it fast. and we swung
by it, as good a cable as you would
want to see and one OF the curiousest
things. "-Philadelphia Press.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
He Let Him Out.

The king of Naples. in the plenitude
OF his absolutism, paid one day a visit
to the Neapolitan prisons in order to
see for himself what sort of men his
criminals were and whether they really
deserved the punishments they were
undergoing.
What Is your seutence?" he said to
one. Fifteen years. your majesty"
And what had you doneT' Nothing
whatever" Quite innocentT En-
tirely so. your majesty" And yop:"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
Victim of an Avn Il Calamity.

1T cane out, as journeyed on horse
back through Dakota, that almost ev-
cry settlers land was under mortgage"
said weSterner, and one day, when
1 came upon pioneer seated on the
grass by tire roadside, with a troubled
look on his face, 1 asked him If it was
the mortgage he was worrying about.
"'WusS than that. stranger he re-
piled as he looked up YEARLY.
Sickness or death In the family
"'WusS than that
"'Then it must be a calamity indeed
You didn't lose family and home by a
prairie fire.
Nope. but you are right about its
bein calamity. I've been tryin to
think of that word for two hours past
Yes, sir. you can put it down as an aw-
full calamity
"'But won't you explain? l persist
ed.
81 will. sir Thar was a mortgage
on the claim. and I was feelin as big
as any OF my neighbors and takin
things easy when my wife was left
$500. Stranger. dare l tell you what
she did with that money!
She didn't lose it|
a. No. sir. She jest paid that mort
gage. bought two horses and u pillow,
and this mornin l was bounced out OF
my own cabin bekase | wouldn't peel
of my coat and so to work, Yes. sir
you are right. It's a calamity-a ca
lamity that's landed me on the outside
and between my burned pride ano
her blamed spunk somebody'Il be eatin
grass afore Saturday night" Wash
inEton Post.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
A Good InNesfmenf.

rs marriage a failure?" Il should
say not" remarked an Oregon farmer.
why. there's Lucindy gifts up in the
mornin. nilks six cows. gifts breakfast.
starts four children 10 skewl. looks ar
ter the other three. feeds the hens.
likewise the hogs. likewise some moth
erleSs sheep. skins 20 pans OF milk.
washes the clothes, gifts dinner CT Get
cry. eft cetery, Think could hire any
body to do IL for what she gifts? Not
muchi Marriage. sir. is a suctess-a
great success "-Woman's Journal
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
He Rose RAPIDLY,

In speaking of the late Ballard Smith
the Louisville Courier-Journal says
that when he first sought position in
a newspaper office after graduating
from Dartmouth collage he entered the
sanctum with an air of condescension.
He wore a silk tile and velvet jacket.
He said he would like 70 be dramatic
editor. but he was given place on the
local staff. In less than. six months he
was made city editor. After that his
rise in journalism was rapid.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-10-09
sUNDERED.

o love, Eince you and must walk apart,
Spare me one little corner Of your hezrC
A shrine
That shall be wholly mine!
Others may claim, and rightfully, the rest;
If there know am not dispossessed,
All bliss
j, eager, shall not miss.
And IL 50 be you sometimes offer there.
Though but in thought, the fragment Of q
prayer,
No more
Can i. alas, implorel
But that is much and shall, forsooth avail
To make my footsteps falter not nor fail,
Though far
Our pathways sundered are.
Then, love, since you and l must walk apart,
Spare me one little corner of your heart
shrine
That shall be wholly mine.
Clinton Scotland in Harper's Bazaar.