The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1900-11-02
SAVED HIS POSITION,
QU;Ck WIT LANDED HIM SAFELY OUT
OF A TIGHT PLACE.

How a Clerk Worked Up an Excuse
That Was Gladly Accepted by His
Employer, to Whom He Had Shown
Gross TnciviIity.
"It's mighty hard for clerk to be
suave and polite all the time" said
department manager in one of the big
stores. "a clerk is like any other hui
man being, subject to headaches and
indigestion and fits OF irritability. and
occasionally he will be a little gruff
without intending it. When l was
younger, few thoughtless words once
came near losing me a good job. and
the way l escaped being fired was
rather amusing. 1t happened like this:
81 had charge Of the mems furnish
ings counter in large clothing store,
and the pay being first rate and chance
Of promotion excellent was naturally
anxious to hold on to the job. One
morning however, l was feeling all
out of sorts and was just developing
an ugly headache, when a man came in
and asked to see some cravats
Il could tell from his general appear
ance he was from the north. and he
had curt semisupercilious manner
that irritated me Immediately. If |
had been feeling well, would have
kept my temper, but my head was
throbbing, and when he paved over
the stock. finding fault with everything
and sneering at my statements as to
quality began to get crusty.
'Finally l couldn't stand it any Ion
ger If you really want scarf
said. 'you'll find plenty here that, l
dare say, are as good as anything
you've been accustomed to wear Just
then happened to look up and caught
sight of floorwalker standing in a
rear aisle and making frantic gestures
to me with his hands.
eff you'll wait moment l said to
the customer. wondering what the
dickens was up, I'll see If l can find
something else at the other side With
that hurried over to where the floor
walker was standing. What's the mat
ter? l asked in low tone.
"'Great Scott, man. he whispered.
that's the boss!
''The store, rs should have explain
ed, was the southern branch of New
York establishment, and during the
time l had been there the head of the
firm had never before paid it visit in
person. Consequently | didn't know
him by sight. and my blood ran cold
lu ho6
rammed my foot into it. During the
next five seconds l did some quick
thinking, and among other things that
came crowding into my mind was the
fact that the boss had been married on
" a short time before. That gave me
an idea.
"'I'm going back whispered to the
f1oorwalker, and in a minute or two
you send one Of the boys to me with
piece of folded letter paper.
"'What are you up to? he asked.
"sNeyer mind said /. You do eX-
actly as I say. Let him Just hand me
the paper and walk off. hurried back
to the counter and found my man look
ing black as thunder. Sorry said,
still as gruff as ever. but that's all we
have If nothing in it suits you. you'll
have to go elsewhere
Every we'll he replied sarcastically,
and now let me give you small piece
Of information. r
"At that moment boy handed me
the paper. l tore it open. pretended to
read a note, slapped my leg jOyfully
and proceeded to do a double shuttle on
the floor. The stranger glared at me in
amazement. What the deuce is the
matter with you?' he growled. Are
you crazy or just drunk?
Neither cried. i am simply re-
lieved. inexpressively relieved and re-
ioiced! You must pardon this idiotic
exhibition. my dear sir went on ear
nestly. and | hope you will also par
don my gross rudeness to you mo-
ment ago was beside myself With
anxiety and didn't know what | was
doing. The fact u.s. | said. with the
best imitation of difidence | could
muster up. the fact is. we have just
had Q new arrival out at my house.
It's boy. sir. and everythings all
right. And really hope you will over
look
Don't say word he interrupted,
cordially grasping by hand. 1 appreci-
ate your feelings. and your apology is
ample Here's my card
$50 that was the way got out Of it,
added the department manager. grin
ming, 'but it was close shave, espe-
cially in view Of the fact that was
and am a case hardened old bachelor.
with a special aversion to infants. The
boss was very kind and cordial. and
whenever he came to town afterward
he never failed to ask how the youn-
ster was getting on. He doesn't know
any better to this day."-New Orleans