davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01

Will they not put forth greater efforts
to reach land where such products
as we are displaying at this great en-
position is possible?
Of all our agricultural exhibits none
is proving more popular than the
corn kitchen. It is located on the
third floor of the agricultural build
ing, and is in charge of one of the
most expert cooks that could be found.
Here is reproduction of an Ameri-
can New England kitchen, all sorts Of
foods made from corn are prepared
and served free. Corn cakes, mullins;
buildings and host of other goods
made from this grain, are cooked and
baked, the idea being to show the
many attractive dishes that can be
made from corn.
In appearance this corn kitchen is
building within itself, and as have
looked at it I thought how we'll it
would have appeared on the outside
of the pig building in which it is stu
ated, but it is serving it's purpose
quite we'll as it is. When the great
fair is over I should like to know just
how many people have been fed at
this kitchen, how many bushels of
corn have been consumed, for as vet
no one has been turned away without
some of the dainty morsels prepared
from our American corn, and should
we keep up this record the numbers
fed will run we'll into the millions be-
fore the fair is over.
Aside from the impression our ag-
ricultural exhibits are ma.,ng on the
few of the peasant classes who have
visited the exposition, our agricultural
products are attracting attention from
the importers of the old world. These
men who buy for Europe are investi-
eating carefully our agricultural re-
sources and comparing our products
with those Of other selling nations,
much to our advantage believe, and
it is to be expected that our exhibits
will be the means of increasing our
exports Of agricultural products.
The Parisians are above all things
judges of wine and fashions, and if
they approve of our vineyard prod
ucts we should feel highly gratified
at the success we have achieved. This
exhibit is the feature of the govern
ment agricultural exhibit, and into it
certain people are invited for the pur-
pose OF sampling the products Of our
wine presses. Great discretion is ex-
ercised in selecting visitors to sample
these wines, and only such as are apt
to prove importers and buyers Of the
beverages are asked to taste them.
But to 70 back to the more strictly
agricultural interests Of the country.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Attempt at "Bohemia'' In America

Attempt At 'Bohemia'' In America.
1t is difficult to discuss nonentity;
in fact, it is impossible except where
shadow bears the reputation of sub
stance, as is the case with what passes
for bohemia in the United States. To
begin with, says the National Maya
zine, the uhconventionaI'l life of our
large cities misses the.first requisite of
European free living fascination and
frothy charm. Americans in French or
Italian restaurants, established by en-
terprising Yankees or thrifty foreign.
ers, in quiet byways Of our cities, take
their pleasure weightily-if pleasure it
is to sit around amid dense tobacco
smoke, eat good food, drink poor wine
and listen to an unpleasant din of dis
pleasing music and loud conversation.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
In Confidence,

Old Friend-You should always take
your wife into your confidence. Wom-
en- appreciate that sort of thing:
De Broker-Oh, I do that; that is.
in part.
Old. Friend-You tell her of your
gains and losses, presume?
J.: De Broker-Um-I always tell her
Of my losses.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Honest Confession,

"Young man, said the careful IA.
ther, If I consent to you marrying
my daughter, you will furnish her the
luxuries TO which she Is accustomedq"
%'Well,,'' said the young man, 1T is
more than likely that I. won't BE buy.
ing her as many theater admissions as
/ have been doing for the past year.
-Indianapolis Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
WHITE HAIR AN ANNUAL CROP
That'sWhat the Loiterer Meant When
He Said an Old Man Is Just
Like q Robin

AAC 4O1UCACl WIS IL Was
not on account of the weather, though
that had direct bearing on the occa-
sion for his smile. 1t was because he
had made discovery, says the Chi
cago Tribune. He stood in front of a
barber shop. He had stood there for
an hour or more, and during that time,
by watching the shop, he made the dis
covcry.
''Live and learn" said the Loiterer
to the first one of his friends that came
along at the end of the hour. The
Loiterer has many friends, and they
are fond of listening to his conversa
! ton, for while he loiters he observes
many things.
''Live and learn" he repeated. ''I've
learned something just now that
tickles me clear through. You wouldn't
, think there is much resemblance be-
, tween red-breasted robin and a
white-haired old man, would you?
Well, they're just alike. One is dead
ringer for the other.'
He likes to talk in riddles, and his
friend waited for him to explain. It is
likewise true that he always explains.
"The robin,' he went on, has been
recognized for centuries as sure har-
binger of spring. So he is, but he isn't
bit ahead of the old man, at that.
what do mean? Just this. With
in the last hour seven of the nine men
who have patronized this barber shop
01I to- h a.
and every one of them got his hair cut.
What do conclude from that? don't
conclude. know, for the barber came
out here few minutes ago, and when
I asked him what it meant he told me.
'That's how I learned that the
spring time cutting of. white hair is a
regular annual occurrence. White hair
is a harvest that ripens in the spring,
as it were. The barber said he sup
posed everyone knew that; it was COM
monty known to- BARRIERS,
"You see, the reason for it is this:
The old gentlemen sit around and
SILVER and shy at draughts when the
doors are opened all winter. They are
afraid to get their hair cut lest they
catch cold. Their beautiful thin locks
Il don't think anything is more beau
tiful than a fine head of white hair on a
venerable man-grow long and trail
down over their collars, but get it cut
they dare not.
Snow, many robin comes north too
early and runs risk of getting frost
bitten. The old man runs no risks. He
waits till the fine spring weather is set
tled,' as he calls it, thea JOINS pro-
cession of his fellows headed for bar
Der shop. There comes another now"
Then the Loiterer smiled more broad
ly than before. Perhaps all will not
agree with his statement that an old
man is just like robin, but his friends
like him for his admiration for vener-
able old men.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
A Starter.

Fond Mother-You say Mr.. Willing
objects to my presence in the parlor
when he calls?
Daughter-Yes, mamma.
Fond Mother-I wonder why?
Daughter-I'm sure I don't know
unless he loves me for myself alone
Chicago Daily News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Decad emce.

'Where have you been all evening,
George? What has kept you out so
late?"
"Why-why, mother, I was coming
home, and 1 met lot of the boys.
They said there was going to be lee
ture at the-the hall, you know, and
after the lecture was over I missed the
street car. That's why I am so late"
20, George!" sighed the gray-haired
matron, your excuses are not nearly
as good as your father used to make!"
Chicago Tribune,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
No FIN tor 4he.Parse.

:. No Fan Tor '4hs.pdf5t:
''pid you go to the girls college
benefit supper, MAJOR"
"Yes' little gall" ri II:
"They say it was . circus, major"
mo, it want, little gal. If it had
only been 2 circus I could have bought
bag of rancid peanuts for a nickel,
instead Of paying so cents for a ball
Of, burnt popcorn" -Chicago Daily
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Evidently.

my daughter is in love with an i'm.
possible young man, and I'm taking
her to Europe to cure her." said Mrs.
Sterlingworth.
Trying the absent treatment, eh ?"
replied Mrs. Observation-Disclosures
Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
His Opportunity.

Miss Elderly-1'm very sorry, Mr..
Woody, but can never anything
more to you than a.
Woody (iaterrupting)-Yes; that's
just my bcastly luck-and I've got
two grandmothers Chicago
Daily News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Not m Anarchixf.

II can take down all those fellows
that call themselves great statesmen!''
he boldly asserted.
He was not the boy orator eager for
a political debate. He was not pro-
fessional anarchist.
He was stenographer.-Town Top
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
A Conference,

Prof. Hymen-I object to this state
ment that 90 per cent. Of all marriage
are unhappy. *, .e.s r..
Prof. Cupid-Can't say, I'm sure.
never bother about results!-Puck.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
About the Sise of II.

'Money,"'' said the political orator,
sis a great lever and.
"That's right, mister" interrupted
a man in the gallery, ''it is such
great lever that most of us can't keep
it."-Chicago Evening News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
The Usual Way.

Lady-1t seems to me these berries
are rather small.
~Pedler-I'm sure they have got their
full growth, ma'am.
Lady-Well, I'm sure your quart
boxes haven't got theirs.-Chicago
Daily News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Serene.

Nodd-This servant question is
great nuisance, isn't it?
Todd-Awful! But I'm out of it.
Ny cook has been with us so long
that she is just like one of the fam
ily.
'How long?"
1.-TWO weeKs.'-Detroit Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Measurement.

#'What is your idea. Of success in
life?" said the inquisitiye man.
$''Oh, I Dunno answered Senator
Sorghum, reaectively.. II should say
anything overa$5oo,ooo : Washington
Star. j
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Brutal Man.

" "Your wife has very sensitive,
clinging disposition"
"Clinging? Well, it's rather more
like what you might call 'grasping.' :"
Chicago Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Rural Cordially,

II hope see you WE'LL" he said, flu
emily, to the old farmer leaning on his
hoe.
II hope you do" was the unexpected
answer; ''but if you don't see me we'll,
young man, put on specs; they're a
wonderful help to poor eyesight."-
Tit-Bits.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Good Reason for Asking.

Good Reason for Asking.
Seedy Applicant Won't you give me
a penny, sir?
~Corpulent Gent-A penny! Why do
you ask me for a penny?
Seedy Applicant-Because didn't
think you'd give it me unless I asked
for it.-Stray Stories.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Lets Her Lixht shine.

Mrs. Cable" observed a friend OF
the family, lis very superior wom-
an. She can converse intelligently,
believe, on thousand different top
ics."
'Yes," sighed Mr.. Gable, '%And Gha
does" -Tit-Bits
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Part OF the. Joy,

He-What makes you wear shoes
that hurt your feet?
EShe-Dear me! If they didn't hurt
me, wouldn't remember that they
were new.-Chicago Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
An Air-Brake Needed.

What the average family man would
like to see invented is an air-brake
that will stop grocer's bill in less
than half its own length. - Chicago
Daily News. 81. y
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
ahe Chanred Her Aaana

Parke-I thong hit your wife was go
ing to the mountains. .ss'Ssss.sT>' "
Lane She was; but changed her
mind. She found she could spend more
money at the seashore Town Topics.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Mean,

Hell always take pains to deny the
statement that women can't throw
straight.
She-That is noble of you, my dear.
He-Yes; I have to remember with
what accurate and effective aim you
threw yourself at me.-Chicago Rec
ord.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Poetry and peOae

you're just poem, May" 1 said.
And I was right, you see.
I knew the way she tossed her head
She was averse to me.
Philadelphia Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
In Dancer.

Mrs. Brooks-John, do you think Mr..
Joblotz is going to marry our daugh-
ter?
Mr.. Brooks-Yes; If he doesn't look
sharp.-Puck. -.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01

He heard a soft voice in the air
Which told him he must follow-where
It led him to her door-and 10!
She entertained another beau.
indianapolis Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Their Name In LerioI

Mr.. .Singer-You know the mosquito
sings while he bores. - .@ '.ss
Miss Ringer-Well, there are others
who bore while they sing. ~ onkers
Statesman. .g.:-!e.E
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
News in Brief.

One of the dams on the Grow Wing
river went out recently, leaving a
large amount of logs tied up.
The Thirteen Towns Old Settlers
Association is perfecting plans for its
first annual picnic, to be held at Offs
Lake, June 10th.
Yep Kim, the Chinese laundryman
at Plainview, and a cousin to Yup Poy
of the laundry in Rochester, com.
mitted suicide by cutting his throat
from ear to ear. He died in few mo-
ments after the deed was done. Finan-
cial embarrassment and cruel treat
ment are attributed as causes.
A black fox was recently killed in
Polk county by Chas. Bell, of Chester
township.
A. w. Bjornstad. who served with
the Thirteenth Minnesota regiment as
captain of Company H, has been
wounded in the Philippines.
Charles A. Tullar, of Warren, a
prominent farmer we'll known all over
the valley, has been appointed mem.
Der of the board of regents of the Uni
versity of Minnesota.
The body of an unknown man was
found in the lake at Duluth. 1t was
clothed in winter apparel, with cap
pulled down over the ears and skates
strapped on the shoes. 1t is supposed
the body was scooped up by dredges
that are working in the harbor and
taken in the dump scow out into the
lake.
Mrs. Henry Henze, wife of wealthy
farmer near Rushford, committed sui
eide, taking poison first and then ty.
ing fifteen feet of rope around her
neck and the foot of a tree and rolling
down a bank. Her reasons are un.
known. She was 40 years old.
Olof Peterson, a merchant of Mar
shall. has closed up and made an ap.
plication in bankruptcy.
The examination of applicants for
appointment to West Point from the
first congressional district resulted in
Otto Davies securing first place. D.
K. Frost and Mr.. Sanders, of Owa.
tonna,' were almost even for second
place.
Mrs. Henry Hennessey, of Winona,
committed suicide by hanging. She
was choked to death.
A section of the sidewalk of the
Sampson addition bridge in Crookston
gave way Sunday evening under the
weight of large number gathered to
watch the spearing of sturgeon in the
river. The abutmcnt prevented at
least 20 people from being precipi.
tated into the river.
John Gilbert, of Fisher, has been
granted patent on land roller
Beginning June I, the Northen Pa.
cific express will supplant the Adams
on the St. Paul & Duluth road. y
j. F. Millspaugh will succeed A. J,
Smith as, superintendent Of the St
Paul schools. ,*1s{sE-:E...ssz1 s
F. W.,Cato, of Minneapolis paid !
fine Of $25 for serving oleomargarine tc
his boarders without having the wall,
of the dining room properly placarded
There is an epidemic Of mumps ii ST
Paul. and every physician in the: city
is said to have several cases on si,i.
hands. ... %-. ~ ;55< ~ =
Two highwaymen entered th<
Woman's work exchange III st. Pau
and robbed the cashier while 1t leas,
40 persons were eating lunch. One 81
them was captured.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01

Women employed on japanese tea
farms work IL hours and are paid Is
cents . day. 81. :.. y: 81. ST
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
All in One nae.

There was q young woman named Mae
Or, rather, she spelled it that wac
But her pa she called "paw.'
And her ma she called "maw,"
And in other ways was such jae!
indianapolis Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Behind sfa,s55RacE..1

-, Behind Ma's5B1ck.H #a
Pa" said little, Harry, after ma
hit her thumb, with the hammer to-
day she says-she suffered untold S3ags
ony for ten minutes 81 y ID. - f. :
my, my, my" exclaimed the boys
father. ''Wondefs1l never cease.
That's the first, time she ever let any
thing go untold that long. . Chicago
Times-Herald. 4 i T.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
The Blun Don't Co.,

Taylor-I believe in calling . spade
spade. 10 !:
Potter-So do there's no use in
saying you have five clubs when one
OF them is Z spadel-Puck. H.. S..
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
That's why.

"Why is It always said that rich
man has barrels Of money!"
Because he's got 30 many gooe
rolls. -" Yonkers Herald s1*5.sI
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
A Coordination.

First Boarder-What do you call
this, I wonder, natural milk, or natural
wqteF? 81
Second Boarder Both Yonker,
Herald. sea - ;
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Curiosities of Scholars

Curiosities Of sch0la rship.
At advanced education he tolls with will,
And the wondering neighbors draw near.
Both Latin and Greek he can read with
much skill,
But in English his spelling is queer.
-Washington Star
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Seized the BODY.

A party of Firms direct from the old
country arrived at Duluth on their
way to Ely. The men are miners.
Ten days ago on shipboard off the
Nova Scotian coast child was born
to one of the families. On the train
coming to Duluth the baby died.
The sparents were determined to
take the little body with them to Ely
and placed it in basket covered with
wraps. But the pitiful appearance of
the mother and her constantly fond
ling and care of the basket aroused
interest on the part of local authori-
ties and the body was taken from her
and buried. There was quite a scene
when the authorities took the body
from the mother, who could speak no
English,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Cause and Eject

NaUSe aA0 EHects
After signing the temperance pledge,
He laid aside his pen;
And to- his credit be it said
He never :'smiled'' again.
Chicago Daily News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
'Twas Ever. Thus

If. you earn a thousand nearly
You think two thousand yearly =
Would be Just the properfgurefto make
your happiness complete; 4S ~
But your income wheni 1t doubles !
Only multiplies Syour troubles, = :,
For the outgo then Increases, and the
ends they still don't meet =
Chicago Daily News. = :. s5 -
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Not aSnuare Deal


"Jones, we want to hold meeting
of the Octagon club at your house this
evening"" ~ . ~s.~-.#
II would be glad to oblige you,
Brown, but we are not in shape for
it."-Chicago Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
MINNESOTA NEWS.
For tho Soldier.

For the SOl0lors ~,
The troops who leave Walker soon
for the frigid climate of Alaska will
be we'll supplied with reading matter
for some time to come. Miss Gratia
Countryman, secretary of the state
library commission, has sent them q
large box filled with books and the
latest magazines which were pur-
chased with what was left of the SOL
diers' fund. contributed to the Wo-
mans Council Library Committee dur
ing the time the state troops were en-
camped at Chickamauga.
The demand for reading matter
among the boys in blue is very great,
and Lieutenant Barrows, of the Thir-
teenth regulars, now in service in the
Philippines, has written friends in
Minneapolis TO the effect that the
troops there are very anxious to be
supplied with something to read
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Alas

Though love may make the world go round.
Our duty it's to speak;
1t won't repeat the miracle
With Cholly's ten per week.
-Puck
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
f- . - ~
Before and After

"A woman, notice, always lowers
her voice to- ask a favor"
Eyes, and raises her voice If she
doesn't get it."-Tit-Bits.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Companies Pay.

Companies Pay.
Because of the policy of refusing to
grant licenses to- companies which
failed to comply with the Somerville
law, the state is enriched by $11,175.
While other classes of corporations
have refused to file articles with the
secretary of state and pay the re-
quired fee, insurance companies, with
two exceptions, have qualified. The
two in question are expected to come
in under the law in short time.
In list prepared Commissioner
0'Shaughnessy figures that 220 COM
panies have been given licenses and
paid the fee asked. Had all corpora
tions, exclusive of insurance COM
panies, been compelled to comply with
the law, the state, it is estimated,
would now have an additional revenue
of about $4,000.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Expect a Good Time.

Previous announcements have
scarcely done justice to the great
carnival and exposition tina: is to be
given by the St. Paul Lodge of Elks,
No. 50, June 10 to 80. 1t develops that
the carnival will be the most elabo-
rate thing of the kind ever attempted
in the west. Ten blocks of one of St.
Paul's streets will be given up to it,
entrances in the form of magnificent
arches of staff opening at either end
into scene of bewildering beauty. All
sorts of booths will display every kind
of wares, bands will discourse sweet
music and great midway, rivaling
that of the worlds fair, will furnish
entertainment for all tastes.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01

"You remind me of an hour-glass."
Help you pass away the time?"
"No; the later it gets the less sand
you seem to have."-Chicago Chron'
icle.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01

.Dolly-Hello! Hello! Give me Heav-
en-! 1 want to say my prayers!-
Scraps. 49,.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01
Tommy-Pop, what is bigamist7
Papa Henpeck-A fool.-St. Louis
Globe Democrat.
E The story Of Love.

Love Is an old, old story
But ne'er was a mortal who "
Hath not at some time told it,
And Thoughtful was something new.
Chicago Times-Herald. -
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-06-01

Smith-Say, Jones, I hear your wife
makes you wash the dishes?
Jones-Oh, no. It's mistake. I do
it of my own free will!-N. Y. Journal.