Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-05-24
THE NEW NEIGHBORS
GAVE Jo5SoN A CHANCE TO INDULGE
IN A MoNoLoGUE.
which, ms UsusI. Was Highly SAT-
isfnctory Thing To Him untiI He
Lenrned Tint lie Had Bcen Using
Hi. Lungs TO SmnlI Purpose.

inc OtuPE IlOIHlup as Hc pbuSPu Oh lue
steps of his house before setting off for
his Office and nodded toward the furni-
ture vans backed ny to the curb OF the
new house on the left that had only re-
Gently been completed.
80 | observe" said Mrs. Jobson. Then
Mr.. Jobson went on down town about his
business.
when he came home that afternoon, he
had it all made up for Mrs. Jobson.
MET the new neighbors, Of course, by
this timc?" said he to Mrs. Jobson al
most as soon as he had hung his hat and
coat OH the rack.
well, | haven't been in
"Not met them yet" exclaimed Mr..
Jobson in well simulated tones of sur
prise "Why, that's funny! ! expected
to find them here for dinner when | got
home. Not losing your neghborly grip
on anything, are you, Mrs. Jobson"
"Now. you know that
"Weli, well, well" said Mr.. Jobson.
"a whole eight hours have passed since
the vans of the new ncighbors truck hove
to on the horizon, and you haven't got
real chummy and thick with 'em yet,
hope you're not ailing, Mrs. Jobsonf'
PLEASE don't be SO rid
ANY now. IL i uliIl uuu lHCul All mere
at dinner | surely thought you'd be in
there on terms of unbcndable friendship
with the female boss of the house when
got home. Why, aren't you wasting val
liable timeI Surprising they find they
don't like the house tomorrow morning,
say, and move away, and there you'll be
you won't have known them and had
en- running in here in sets of tours when
4 4
IF you'll only let me-
But Mr.. Jobson wasn't doing any let
hing. He had the whole thing all thought
out and rchearsed. and he didn't want to
overlook any chances.
Thought I'd find the young ladies Of
the new family-arc there any young la
1ies-in here anyhow he broke in.
telling YOU how they were going to have
their new spring fouards made or asking
your advice about their pinheaded beaus.
Caat be possible that you haven't al
ready succeeded in inspiring them with
confidence and learned the whole history
Of thei. lives from their own lips a dozen
times OVER, can it? Has the lady at the
head of the new plant next door touched
you up for little snip of tea until the u
pounds She has ordered from the grocer'g
tplllcS YET MOI teamed over the DHck
fence and asked you for the loan of your
iatirons, you say. yet? Why, you really
can't like your new neighbors, Mrs. job
som"
How fond you are becoming of the
sound Of your own
did the lady who runs the new plant
tell you that a great sorrow rests on her
life by reason of the fact that her hus-
band Is so lacking in regard for the high
or and nobler that he eats lemon me-
ringue pie with a tablespoon and falls to
sleep after dinner and SHORES? She didn't
tell you that yet, Ell? Oh, but she will,
though. Give her time. S'posc you told
her that your man didn't care much
about Nirvana and Delsarte and reincar-
nation and the influence Of environment
and tiddledywinks, either. Ell? That's a
great sorrow on your life too, isn't it: |
sposc you told them how to hang the
pictures up, Ell? And told 'em all about
the rest Of the people on the blocli-whom
to cultivate and whom to knock? Did
you say anything while you were in there
about that perfectly lovely family that
moved in three doors to the right that
you got on terms Of indisSolube thick
ness with 20 minutes after the last nov
ing van had moved off and that you got
sore on and decided wouldn't do inside
of three or four days.. Didn't mention
anything about that crowd, ehf Did
you tell 'em about that other delightful
couple who moved into the ncighborhood
last fall, the feminine unit Of which told
me the first day after you met her was
the most abused and lovable thing that
ever hit mp a concrete pavement-the one
that came in here every evening and told
us how \. G. her husband was--a man
that I've since found out was n mighty
good fellow? Didn't touch upon that
ncighbor eli? Didn't
when you are through, | will"-
"And I'll be bound you didn't mention
he old beldame across the street who's
got her once pretty daughter worn to a
!razzle with her fiendish temper and her
Infamous tonguef No? Well, what's
the use Of having ncighbors, Mrs. job
son, if you're never going to get acquaint-
ed with them. I'd like to know? Any
how, need to have whole lot more
fussy and garrulous women neighborc
running in here and-er-chewing the
rag when I'm trying to find out what's
the news of the day in the paper and
shifting disapprovingly over my tobacco
o4Hpht anu l'bhlIlE 1T nv as IL tLtS WISH
ed | was up on the roof or down in the
cellar or somewhere. and
Mr.. Jobson." said Mrs. Jobson, 81
haven't as yet as | told you, called on
the new neighbors next door, but have
no doubt they will, as you said, ask us
in to see them tonight or run in them
selves"
They will, hey?" said Mr.. .Jobson, his
jaw droppinT. "Well. knew you were
quick in this neighbor business. Mrs.
Jobson which is what I've been trying
to get at, but this is the record This is
tho
YES" interrupted Mrs. Jobson. 81
guess we'll see them tonight without
doubt. It's your sister and your sister 5
husband and family that have moved in
next door, you know. They got tired Of
the Hill, ana they decided last week to
take the new house next to us and sur
prise you. SO that you have really vast
ed n lot of good, life giving breath,
haven't you, my dear?"
We'll maybe | have been doing n
monologue stunt without exact data to
base it on. admitted Mr.. Jobson sheep
ishly Washington Star.