The age-herald., 1900-10-14

He Was gone several hours. His copy was prepared when he returned and it was a masterpiece of rhetoric dealing with biblical history the necessity of churches, their benefit to mankind, and running down into a concise history of church fairs and the revenues derived from such for the promo tion of the christian religion in this and other countries. The editor read it and se- cretly congratulated himself upon having drawn a prize from the atmospheric grab bag of Bohemian newspaper talent He was indeed so pleased that he dressed the new reporter in suitable garb from foot to head the next morning and supplied him with a meal ticket and room in small hotel. The reporter had slept on the floor in the newspaper office the previous night, and had breakfasted upon sandwich.
 For three days the new reporter fairly scintill lted. He was a perfect encyclopaedia of knowledge, and he knew how to convert the same into readable English He won the admirati of all his co-laborers though he never spoke until spoken to.
 On the fourth day the editor found a note upcn his desk, reading: MT. C. would be pleased to have an order upon the business manager for two dollars If agreeable to the editor"
 With the two dollars the new reporter left the office to go to East Lake on an as- signment to write a school commencement At o'clock in the morning he had not re- turned. Inquiry at police headquarters de- Veloped the fact that he was sleeping quietly in a cebl recovering from the effects of two dollars worth of mean whisky and a rough-andtumble fight. with a prize of a black eye, a bloody nose and d slight scalp wound.
 He was released next morning upon col lecting from his office friends the amount of a small fine. His explanations were profuse and under promise of complete re- form he was reinstated. For three more days he did beautifully but when he drew his full weeks salary he fell from grace and sought the soothing syrup of a cell again.
 The second offense led to his peremptory discharge which he admitted was deserved. He left the newspaper office apparently downcast and sad. Within two hours he was at his former desk writing. The editor walking into the office later saw him hard at work writing and turning out sheet after sheet of copy.
 What are you doing" asked the editor.
 Without looking up and continuing to write he replied: Writing a story.
 For what?"
 
 We don't want it, and don't want you about here. You don't seem to recognise that you have been discharged
 "Please don't disturb my thoughts" he replied nonchalantly continuing to write. 'I am too busy to be discharged. Haven [ time to consider it.
 The editor was a bit nonplussed and re- tired to his private office. In few min utes the ex-reporter appeared in the ed itors room, hat in hand and lowing.
 Pardon me, sir Here is a story that I submit as a gem of English compositon and of a character of news worthy the columns of the New York Sun. I want no money for it. My pride prohibits my ac- ceptance of mere money for my produc- tions. I only desire glory
 With these remarks he bowed himself out and in a few hours returned with sev- eral other attractive local stories.
 His productions were simply too good to turn down. He was a third time rein stated, but he could not stand prosperity more than few days. Under the influence of drink he became a pugiistic demon and it was only by getting him to enlist in the army that the newspaper office was enabled to get rid of the brightest literary light which ever entered it's doors.
 Birmingham is a big town, but it is yet a town. The township jealousies remain