The Savannah morning news., 1900-10-18

Wehcr-NeI. Why did you want 90 pick
out such a heightened horse
Fields Never mind We vim make "a mil
lion dollars a day here.
Weher-Den We vim stay two days.
weber, would like TO set my money
insured so dot when / spend - / could
get Il back.
Enter Dave warheld a. the Hebrew.
warneld-l want 20 know II I lost When
betted something
Tfelds-Mcbbe tell us
Waricld-Do you know about military
cobesf
Sure
warHeld-Vhat must a man be before
he can buried be NIT milltarys honors
Webor-A captain.
Fields-No, a generals.
wariield-Den / guess ! lose. cause
bet he must be dead
warfield agrees 10 enter into partner
ship with the other two. and they decide
to make him custodian Of their funds
Wehcr-You must be sworned IN.
Ficlds-Yes YOU must be sworn.
Warheld--I don't know how.
Weber-Raise your right hand.
Weber ana Fields In chorus-Swear.
warneid-Go 70 he'll
In one scene Hopper says 10 Field
Not word hold you responsible
Tor this You AZ least have a modicum OF
ccrehrum and cerehellum
Weber (aside)-1f he said dot 90 me
would fight
Hopper-You may not be one of those
supersensitive metaphysical natures that
hnds les most harmonious setting in an
atmosphere OF empyrean searching
thought or seeks among the altiiudinous
baths OF psychological research the mind
comranionship that can only there bc
found by the intellect hurdened with an
irtspsc and overweaniug mentality. hut
YOU comprehend IN your mental compost
ton more ~ the gray matter upon which
depends intelligent conception ~ relative
and correlative phenomena that u accord
ca 10 the troRlodytes niger or the com
mon sinaiadae therefore ] hold you re-
sponsibie Il not wholly a. least in the
l.sht Of a particeps criminis
lie then approached Warfeld asking
AS for you. what can say 70 your
warfield-I guess you saided ~ all 10
him.
Hopper should have thought that
common sense would have shown you that
iris occlput humana horridis could not
be placed In harmonious juNtaposition 10
the beauteous and nepphytic femur pa
tclla ubla and lbula pertaining TO this
automata aud cOrreiate with u IN giving
IL artistic verisimilltudo I can only ac-
count for Il upon the hypothesis that you
have been aborieine and in rerum natura.
rOncompos mentis or TO place a kinder
construction upon s.. inter pecula. To
make myself more plainly understood,
might say to you. In the language %
Cicero:
"slc paresus Diam asparagus.
Jahorandi medula oblongata.
siatica rex nux vomica."
In one scene John T Kelly asks Fields:
What would you do for $4,000
I'm ashamed 90 tel you" replies Fields,
and this always brings out hearty laugh.
Kelly-Are you a married man?
Flelds-Sure
Kelly burning 20 weber)-You're a mar
rled man.
Weber docking at scratches on HE
hand)- No. I got dose scratches from
der cat.
Here Is a sample Of the dialogue in the
travcsty on "Quo Nadis:"
Petrolius-Admit him here in the tor
raradorium.
Marcus Finiehus-I am sim In Rome.
Petrolius-I thought you were frying
Fenians IN Farina.
Marcus-You are not aloneus. Some one
rubhereth
Marcus-she IL heautus.
Petrollus-I got her In an employmentus
agentus.
Petroilus and Marcus fight and then one
remarks that the other has twice the
blow OF Thomas Sharkus. and that's no
fakus either.
Hopper always gets a laugh by The man
ner In which he says: Come Marcus
20 the booEorian and let Us Quah
Mamie Taylorus."
Further uptown al the Victoria the
Roger Brothers discuss golf
DO you know dot gollulluff gamef
NO"
'IIi explode It TO YOU"
Il am sorry
You must first have money 70 play DOT
game. Den you walk a mile after bail
Il once walked four miles for high
bali"
"veli you don't get a drink until de-
games out"
"Den would not play"
you win"
Il vim. but how do you know When you
win der gameT
links"
the butchers window
mo. didn't said dot"
Il can't Understood IL. Why not study
der rules7"
~ YOU study der rules you viii be crazy
In three years"
Cue Rogers says: Il live IN a fne house
IN here. We have an kinds % improver-
ment@: soft shell tubs. two kind % hot
water. luke warm una cod uni such as
dot"
they get hold ~ a girls autograph
album and read from Il as follows;
"He who fights and runs away VIII live
20 aght some other day.-Jamss ]. Cor
bett"
II would no, live always The Under
taker"
Don't let your right hand know what
your left Is doing Rob Fl'zslmmons."
Here e q tamplo Joke from one - he
other concert halls;
I.evy's brother died IN Chicago the other
day The undertaken telegraphed 20 Levy
What will DO with hody7 ! can embaim
n for So or freeze Il for so ilease
answer"
And Levy teleRraphcd back: Freeze Il
from der knees up for 50; he had his feet
frozen last winter"
one % the stories told by the late Jchn
". Kelly Is now going the round OF he
music halls;
I'm hanged II ye don't mate some
queer people nowadays: | met Casey the
other day and he was dressed In a new
suit. ser, Hello, Casey. whore hey ye
MAWzzzz
Z&XYE "a n