Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-05-02
Mr. Jobson on Suffrage

w HEN Mr.. Jobson reached his
w home from the Office the other
evening he found his wife entertain
ing in the parlor handsome, we'll
groomed, middle-aged, wholesome
looking woman, OF blitheful presence
and amiable manners. Mrs. Jobson
introduced her visitor to Mr.. Jobson
as Mrs. Schenectady, of New York,
an old school friend, whom I have
not seen since we were girls together;
she is here on business in connection
with. the suffrage for women"
Mr. Jobson, who had put on his
Sunday smile when he entered the
parlor, stiffened when his wife men,
toned the suffrage for women,' and
the. smile froze on his face.
"Glad to meet you, ma 'am," he said,
austerely, as if he meant it to be
understood that he wasn't glad, or
anything like glad. He excused him
self after two minutes of desultory
conversation, during which he sat
straight up in his chair and looked
daggers at his wife's visitor when the
latter wasn't looking at him.. and
then he clomped upstairs. He heard
his wife and her visitor talking ami
matedly, while he sat upstairs tug
ging at his mustache and growing:
Suffrage, hey" And when at last
the handsome, wholesome-looking
woman departed-saying at the door
that she would meet Mrs. Jobson
downtown in the morning Job
son descended the stairs with a heavy
tread and a scowl that reached from
ear to ear.
MADAME" said he to Mrs. Jobson,
as his wife entered the parlor after
closing the door upon her visitor, II
think we're about due to have close,
searching, heart-to-heart talk, and
there isn't going to be any better
time for it than right now.'
"Why, what has hap" Mrs. job:
son began, looking at him in sur
prised sort of way.
"Oh, nothing has happened partic-
ularly," interrupted Mr.. Jobson, pick
ing up a book from table and look
ing through 1t with severe, judicial
air, as if searching for a legal defini-
ton. Except that was not aware,
until ten minutes ago, that you had
aligned yourself with the female suf-
frage persons. Now, I want
"But you are
81 know what I am, Mrs. Jobson.
and I don't need to be told by any
proselyte in the women's suffrage
business what I am" broke in Mr..
Jobson, ponderously. "Now, I want
to tell you one or two little things for
your guidance in this matter. Mrs.
Jobson-I want to make you aware of
where stand on that question. l."
"But if you'll just wait min
"You will permit me to say what
intend to say, and then you may have
the floor, according to; the parlia-
mentary usages Of your female suf-
frage organization, as long as you
want it," cut in Mr.. Jobson. "Mrs.
Jobson, don't care pair of worn
out gum shoes, personally, whether
the women of the United States, or
the women of Zanzibar, for that mat
ter, secure the right to stand around
the polls On election day, distributing
pastors and folders to jagged hodcar-
riers, or whether they stay right
where they are with regard to the
franchise until the year 3245. It's all
one to me. don't lose any sleep over
it. If they did get the franchise uni
versally it wouldn't affect me or this
plant in the slightest, for I'm resi-
dent of, the District of Columbia,
where men are disfranchised, as well
as women, and I expect to go right on
living here, and finally have the
daisies planted in District of Column:
bia soil over my head. I don't read
the proceedings of the female suffrage
meetings. I dodge the headlines
perched over the top of that news
paper material. There's nc. amount of
coined metal that could induce me 10
attend one of the female suffrage
meetings. I simply regard the whole
thing as armatter that isn't imminent,
which doesn't affect the course of my
existence any more than the tribes
mems wars III equatorial Africa af-
feet it, and I've slid along through
this vale of tears for a matter of 40
years or so without missing meal or
batting an eye over the question Of
female suffrage. T. s4
Mr.. Jobson, if you will be good
enough to abate your flow Of elo-
quence long enough t. listen en-: ~ : . =ss H,
BIZ you'll just be good enough to defer
your sarcastic allusions to my flow of
eloquence unit TIM rough, madam, =
broke ii Mr. Olson, haughtily. I've
got my own little private ideas about
the suffragesfpr women business, OF
course, but II ID not going around
throwing 'em at people who don't be
Ieye the way do about it, and during
the past week I've ridden in the street
cars with several scores Of the female
suffragists without rising in my seat
and telling 'em just what think OF
the proposition they are scrapping for.
B Mrs. Jobson, i don't mind giving you,
for your own informal ton. brief out