The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-09-28

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! An Anomaly: Eve~-You can't make
a bit Of an impression on that Young
Marsh. May-~1 know it. It's strange,
too. for he's so soft.--philadelphia
Bulletin.
! First MosQuito-lou look cold WHY
your teeth are actually chattering
What's the matter? Second Alosquito-
just lit on q girl from Boston.-Phila-
uelphia Record.
Father-Who prepared this pudding?
Mother docking at her daughters in
s'ccesslon)-I mustn't tell-the author
desires to remain anonymouS.-MeS-
ycndorfer Batter.
Lii the. Lunatic Asylum: Keeper
This poor fellow used to be q famous
musician. Visitor-Ah! and now hes
wandering minstrel adelphia
Evening Bulletin.
~ man and his wife should be part
ncrs like business firm" YES" an
sWered the meek-eyed, silent partner,
ana l find my wife is firm enough
Kansas City Star.
! a.,
Didn't you tell me you knew how to
bake biscuit?'' ''Yis'm, an so do, but
I'm little shy on the mixin' ay 'em,
mem."-Chicago Tribune
! but, mamma. if l buy clothes irA
| may hot have money left to buy Il
trunk. ETHEL, you haven't any bust
ness sense at all; you can borrow a
trunk. - Chicago Record
! Hoax~-What's the matter, old man?
You look all cramped up. Joax-I've
just been calling Oh one Of those artistic
girls and spent two hours in u coy
co'ntr-~Philadelph:t Record.
Inearthum-My wife talks, talks,
talks al 1.-The time Henpeck-ImpoS-
si'lp. She must listen part Of the time.
otherwise she wouldn't he so poDula:
with Hly wiie.-phl;:dripIl;a Press.
First Traveller {cAecriiy)-Einc day.
ISL t Il: SECOND ditto thaughtily)-Sir.
A"C have the advantage Of me. cont
know You. First Traveler- ~IIump],,
fail 10 see the auvantay e-EXcilanyy
The Grip on Emergencies: "WbatS-
Tie difference between KNOWLEDGE and
":>"tm:' ''NeL. it takes knowledge
10 build an automobile. but it takes
wisdom to lun it."-ChicaSo Record.
The Prevailing Passion: Young Lady
~-\crcy me: When fast in the jungle.
YOU came face to face with q tiger Oou
What did You do? Modern Traveller
Droudly -Ihotogra pilcd it.-Ncw York
Weekly.
''Why, ask Sou.' vocifera ted The ca
Misunderstanding orator, ARE they har-
ing bread riots in Honduras:' ''AIaybe
they've got tired of bananas,' hazartle.
an carnest-looking au1itor--Chicag 60
| Tribune.
McGariglc--'TiS said Thin hoods has
Il pair q SooSpenderS fer every pair O
pants. SchWartz-}cIl so hat l. Ne
Garigle-How mauy pair Of pants 30
ycz own? Schwartz -Eun--Manchts-
ter Union.
Good Suggestion: II wonder why
they don't name one OF the new ships
the Maytiowcr" What for:" "Why, 50
that future generations can say theta.
ancestors came over on it."--Phladel-
phia Bulletin.
Il suppose" said Miss Suapp's 1iance
"you]i be sorry when l marry your
sister and take her away to live With
me- *No,' replied her little brother.
Il mover Gid like you much anyhow"
-Philudelphia Press.
Impressed: Hc-1 have just returns d
from Il little railroad trip, and the seen
cry did me good. She-Nature was
grand. was she? He-Yes; and / have
never seen the advertisements in more
gorgeous colors.-BaZar.
He looked at the picture and laughed
loudly. THAT'S good" hc said. But
what does it mean:" she asked
Mean? Why, it doesn't mean any
thing" he replied. cts just polti
cal cartoon. "-Chicago Evening Post.
Brushe-Who is that solemn-lookinS
Individual? Penn-That's Graves. He
writes patent medicine ads. A clever
chap he is, too. He can describe q dis
ease SO that the healthiest man alive
will think he has got it.-Tit-Bits.
Pa. why do they formally notify a
man that he is nominated for Presi-
dent? We'll. mainly, think, SO that
he can't get up after he fails to be
elected in November and VOW he wasn't
in politics at all. ''--Indianapolis jour
nal
''Aren't you ashamed to be an object
of tnarity:' exclaimed the pedestrian.
Il ain't 10 object Of charity" replied
Mcander;ng Mike, Indignantly; I'm :.
great moral an civilizin' influence. T
; am a promoter OF philanthropy. -
. ! Washington Star.
\ Rude Shock: Hc--I know youl
family does not like me, but-wi]l yon
be my wife? She-Well, l should say
not! Hc-Whew! That's rather e.
She-I repeat I should say not. but IS
a girl III love doesn't generally Go rs
she should. Ill say ''Yes:''-Ex.
Glidden-Iour lawn always LOOKS ia
fine shape. How do you manage It:
. Wartner-EaSy enough. have 1Wu