Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-05-02

ters-same mother-in-law.-Town Top
les
do you ever pay any attention to
the weather mans predlctionsY Yes
by reading what he predicts l can
nearly always tell what it isn't going
10 do" sstaa
Mrs. Gadd-You do not show your
age at all. Mrs. Gabb (dellghted)-
Don't /? Mrs. Gadd-No; / see you've
scratched it out of your family Bible
New York Weekly.
A Capitallst.-"Do you see that dogT
"Yes; but what is there SO wonderful
about himf" Hes worth fifty thou.
sand dolarsr' Good graclousl How
did he save the money T'-Life.
Mrs. Thinkhard-Of late years the
spread of intelligence among all classes
has been simply wonderful. Old bach
elor-Yes l notice there has been a
great falling off in the number of mar
riages.
At Rehearsal.-Stage Manager
What! You laugh while you're sup.
posed to be dying? Actor-Cerlainly
At the wages you pay, why shouldn't
death be greeted with joyNFliegende
Blaetter.
'What is an exit, papaw Exit.
Freddy? Well, it is a Latin placard
hung around on the walls in theaters
and opera houses to keep people from
thinking they smell re."--lndianapo-
lis Journal.
She-They've got a new girl at HI
rams. HE'S that SO? Can she cook
any better than the last one they hadi
She-Well, hardly; this one is only
about twenty -four hours old.-.Philadel-
phia Record. F
Would Affect His Trade.-Mack
O'Rell-Yes, he is always afraid the
sun may suddenly drop from its posi-
tlon. Luke Warme-Is he.a scientistf
Mack O'Rell-No; parasol manufac-
turer.-Chicago News.
Burly Tramp-Wot's tn good of lit
tie dog like that? Mrs. Rural-To keep
off tramps. "He. he. Wot kin that
little crltter do?" "He can bark; that
will wake up the big dogs under the
porch" Eyes, mum. Good day.,
mum.''-New York Weekly.
Papa" said Benny Bloobumper, 81
saw two bad boys dipping cents, and
after a while they went away, and
when they had gone l found penny"
Did you play yourself, Benny asked
Mr.. Bloobumper mo, papa" Then
you were an in,a-cent by-stander."-
Bazaar
Pat l thought hired you to carry
bricks up that ladder by the day."
''Ye did, sor" "Well, I've been watch
ing you and you've only done it half a
day to-day. The other half you spent
coming down the ladder" "OfH thry
to be dom betther to-morry, sor."-.
Harlem Life
II hope my explanation is satisfac-
tory," said Mr.. Younghusband, as he
concluded a long narrative as to why
he had been detained down town until
l a. IN. WELL" yawned Mrs. Young
husband your excuse is fairly good,
but it's not as good as father used to
make."-Chicago News. .
Henry" said she, dlsconsolately.
you didn't give me birthday gift"
! "By Jove! that's So" said Henry, but
you see, you always look so young that
l can't realize you ever had birthdays"
Then she was happy, and he smiled the
mean, subtle smile of man who has
saved money.-Boston Traveller.
"Algernon is very interesting" said
the stockholders daughter. what
does he talk aboutT inquired her
father why, he's ever so well post
ed In Shakspearean quotations"
Young woman" said the fnancier,
sternly, don't you let him deceive YOU;
+, there amt no such stock on the mar.
ket'-Tit-B Bits. h
I At a country fete a conjurer was
performing the old trick of producing.
eggs from hat, when he remarked to.
little boy: Your mother can't get
eggs without hens, can she? "Of
course she canP replied the lad
why, how is that" asked the con-
jurer. "She keeps ducks" replied the
boy, amid roars of laughter.-Tit-B Bits.
J Look here" said Mr.. Dobbs to the
house agent, my wife will be calling
to-day, and want you to tell her that
that house we have been looking at is
taken" But, my good sir" protested
the agent, sit isn't taken" "It will be
then" answered Mr.. Dobbs. II am
taking 1t now. Mrs. Dobbs can't make
up her mind, but she'll want 1t directly
she thinks she can't get itv'
! The volunteer in the Philippines,
wrote home to the old man as follows.
Father, l need $50 Immediately. Lost
another leg in battle yesterday" And
this was the reply he received from the
; old man: "James-As this Is the fourth
leg you've iost-according to your let
ters-you ought to be accustomed to It
by this time. Try and wobble along ON
any other legs you may have left.