The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-08-01

eclipse, for l knew it wouldn't skip
Hampton"
A little girl made her first appearance
in an infants school last week. Her
new friends made up to her, and, child
like, questioned her as TO her name, per-
centage. etc., relates Spare Moments.
My dada's q gentleman. He keeps
shop. What yours" said one mite.
Hes beggar,'' replied the new
scholar, shyly.
"Oh, I'd be ashamed to own it," cried
the other little girls in chorus:
The girl flushed red-not in shame but
with pride.
But l amt" she retorted,, .'cos he's
a absent minded heggar. And she add
ed, triumphantly, hes a gentleman, too!
A gentleman in khaki! Mr.. Kipling says
Yes, num-" said Tired Thompson. in
reply to Mrs. Gazzam's intimation that
he ought to be working instead of tramp
ing, yes. mum, L know it. l am not
idle from choice, but l can't get the sort
of employment l want, num-"
What would you like to doT
Il would like to be college president,
mum. Do you know where l could get
that sort of job?"-Detroit Free Press.
"A friend of mine has an 'owl room
fitted up in his home. Owls of all
you know. Big owls and little owls,
wise owls and idiotic owls. Owls till
yon can't rest. Now he wants a suitable
motto to go with his pets. Can you sug-
gest anything?'
I know of Scotch motto that might
do"
What is 1t?'
"'Hoot, monp" = Cleveland Plain
Yes, the letter carrier perspired so
that last hot day that it took me two
hours to dry out Charles last letter so |
could read it.
Poor man.
''Wel. l don't blame him entirely 1t
tiers, and besides that he enclosed a clip
ping of an early poem by Ella Wheeler
WilcoXr'-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The strangest golf links in the world
are in Singapore. In a letter published
in the Scotsman the writer says: I'VE
played over Chinese graveyard, around
the lunatic asylum and hospital, and fin
lshed on the lawn of the orphan asylum.
serving for bunkers and other hazards,
while a ball driven over the wall of the
lunatic asylum is lost. and YOU lose
stroke and distance The tombs are
slowly being hacked to pieces by the
wild efforts of the players to get the
balls out of the crevices in the bricks"
''AIr. Flimnis is wonderfully devoted to
his wife. When they are away from
each other he writes her at least three
letters a day"
Yes answered Miss Cayenne. "She
requires him to do that so that she can
look at the postofice marks and know
exactly where he s."-Washington Star
A person bearing the same name as
a man who was charged at police court
IN Ireland deemed it necessary to insert
in the local newspapers an announcement
that he was not the John Sullivan re-
Gently fined for drunkenness. The follow
ing, says the Daily Graphic. appeared
shortly afterward in all the papers con-
tanning the announcement: Il, John Sui
Ivan h who was fined los for being drunk,
beg to return thanks to John Sullivan of
Ballykillin lodge for notifying that | am
in no way connected with his family
Mr.. Watt-Manners-"See that old man
ahead of us? That's Casburn. He's
worth a million; and just look at his UNI
brclla."
Mrs. Watt Manners but you
mustn't judge him by that, dear; it
mayn't be his own, you know. Brook
lyn Life.
The Family Birthday.-'Hubby, dear,
can't wait 20 tell what I'm going to
buy you!'
Darling wife, what is it?''
We'll. I'm going to get a silver card
tray, a bronze Hercules for the mantel-
1in 10 IN,
the front of my dressing table. What
are you going to do for me, Tootsey?"
I've been thinking, Jane, and have
made up my mind to get you a new shay
ing brush. ''-Tit-Bits.
Advice for Papa-Henrietta Of Cations
vile says: My papa objects to my ad-
mirers sitting on the steps and talking
with me until a late hour at night. He
claims that he cannot sleep ON account of
our noise. What would you adviser?
Advise papa to sleep in the daytime
Baltimore American.
I'm awfully fond of fresh, green vege,
tables remarked the slow young man.
aren't you?"
WELL" replied the young girl, who had
been waiting long and patiently. for an
engagement ring, Il just love a certain
sort of caratS."
But, alas! the head upon the young
mans shoulder was a cabbage
delphia Press.
A fat citizen of the seacoast town of
Lubec, Me-, went down ladder at the
side of a schooner to get hammer he
had dropped overheard. He inserted his
body between the rungs of the ladder.
that he might reach down and get the
hammer from the shoal water, and be
came stuck there The tide was rising,
and he was rescued three hours after
ward, just in time to save him from
drowning, the water having reached
within two inches Of his mouth.
-:o:
Teacher Ito pupil)-'If you don't tell
me the name of the boy who put the
pin ON my chair I'll give you a whip
ping"
Pupil-'Whip ahead, sir. 1t won't be
nothin' to what that boy'll give me if l
tell on him. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Mr.. Wamperl (who has stopped a
whizzing automobile by his signaling)--
Would you be so good as to give me
little of your gasoline? My wife has a
grease spot on her dress. "-Fliegende
Blaetter.