davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04

commander in chief and to give the
Office one year to the east, the next
to the west. The west is entitled to the
honor this year, and generous rival
ry betw cen several good men is sure
to spring up before August, although
at present the politicians of the order
seem to think that Senior Vice Com
mander Irwin Robbins, of Indianapolis,
is sure of promotion.
The Chicago committees are in close
touch with the officers of the Grand
Army, both working together in per-
feet harmony. One decision has been
arrived at by the local committee on
free quarters which will undoubtedly
please the veterans. There will be no
outdoor camps and sleeping on damp
ground. The school board will place
as many of its magnificent school
buildings as may be needed at the
disposal of the old soldiers. and COM
Portable cots will also be provided for
them. Camp life is very pleasant to
war veterans, as memory, but when a
man gets to be 80 and over he prefers
comfortable bunk to bed in can
vas covered tent.
Another pleasant bit Of news is that
the line of march of the grand army
parade will be very short. The gallant
boys of 81 and '65 were very fond of
following martial music in the days
that tried mems souls, but 80 odd years
have wrought many changes in their
tastes and one of them seems to be q
preference for light, easy marches.
While they are still enthusiastic
enough to follow the flag, and ever
ready to practice the cardinal virtues
of their order-charity, fraternity and
loyalty-yet the weight of years has
taught them the value of comfort and
temperance in things physical.
The Woman's Relief corps and the
Ladies of the Grand Army of the Re-
public, two organizations closely
identified with the grand army, will
hold their annual convention on
Wednesday, August 20. 1t is needless
to say that these patriotic women will
receive as hearty welcome from the
people of Chicago as their fathers, hus-
bands and brothers, and that they will
be afforded every opportunity to get
a good view of the various entertain
ments provided for their instruction
and amusement.
G. w. wEIPPIERT.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04

African savages suffer from rheuma-
tism, and what is more they know how
to cure it. The African medicine man
does not tell the patient to rub his back
with iniment, or to stay in the house in
damp weather, but he gives him cure
said by travellers to be quite effective.
In the olden times doctors used to put
"cups" on sick people to draw the
blood from the painful parts of the
body. And the principle on which the
African medicine man goes is just the
same. Suppose that the patient COM
plains of rheumatic pain in his back.
The medicine man gets six cow horns,
cuts slight incisions in the patients
back and puts the hollow ends Of the
horns over the spots. They stick close
to the skin and will remain in place for
several days, especially as the savage
does not have to disturb them by put
ting on any clothes. These horns are
allowed to remain on until they. drop
off, when, if the patient is not cured Of
his rheumatism, it is not the fault Of
the horns. The cure works excellently,
strange as it may seem.-Washington
Star. Il E5s .S@ ST. =
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04

could be used in the fob. The response
was prompt and satisfactory, being in
the shape of some bronze from a tor
pedo captured at Manila. A copper
ring from the Reina Christina also
supplied material for alloys in the fob,
while part of an armor piercing shell
from Spanish magazine worked up
nicely in the shape of gunmetal. This
was the gift of Major Fitzgerald, sur
geon of the Thirteenth Minnesota.
Carrying out the same idea, gold was
secured from the Philippines, so that
the fob of the souvenir is deeply sig
nifcant.
$. The watch itself has what is known
to jewelers. as ':16" size case, that
figure denoting the size which is most
convenient for a gentleman's time
piece. The case is of plain gold, made
up from Unit ed States coin, and is
20 carats fine. It is hunting case,
bearing upon its front the monogram
"a. D." most artistically done in blue
enamel, which is let into the gold.
Upon opening the time-piece another
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
AN ABUSED HUSBAND.
Tries to Make Graphophone .
Speaking Witness Against
His Scolding Wife.

A new use for the graphophone was
recently found by henpecked hus-
band who had virago for wife. After
vain applications to the courts for re-
lief, in which his allegations were re-
jected for lack of proof, he set a
graphophone to record her violent Ian
guage. Then he took the machine to
the police station on the Rue La
Rochefoucauld, and turned the crank.
wretch, scoundrel, brute. will ca:
your liver OUT" the machine shouted.
A sergeant arose from his desk and
said: "Stop that abusive language ut
once or will have you arrested"
''Why, that is my wife talking to me-"
the man said Don't lose your temper.
Think how have suffered"
"Just cease this poor joking" the
sergeant said, 'and explain yourself"
The unhappy man related his tale Of
suffering. He said that he was one of
the most domestic and tractable of
men, but had been forced to submit
daily to insults and threats from his
wife. He had vainly endeavored to in
duce her to treat him like a human be-
ing, only to be treated with renewed
excavations. Finally he sought police
protection preparatory to action for
divorce. AS his wife was careful to
keep her threats from the public, he
had employed graphophone. a..
''''Now," he said to the sergeant, "hav-
Ing, heard a record of this abuse 1 ask
you to send for my wife and tell her
that these insults must cease
The police said they could do moth
ing, and advised the man to take the
case to the courts. Paris Cable, n. Y.
Journal. 2 @.r:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
|GRA. 7 B Us in BLUE.
Many Thousands of Then Will
Meet at Chicago In August.
ThiFty-F0urth Annual Encampment
Of the Grand Army Of the Re-
public Promises to he the :f
Event Of the Year. 49,.

r., Especial Chicago letter. <=>
~ URS is country Of secret So
cieties. 1t is hard to find q
man much over Fl who does NOT
belong to one or more of them; and al
though we pretend to be proud of the
democratic principles which have made
the United States the most favored ma
tion in the world, yet we are equally
proud of the ''titles" bestowed upon us
by the high priests, and eminent COM
manders, and regents, and archons, and
princes of the various fraternal organ
izations of which we may have become
members.
Some of these societies are powerful
In numbers as we'll as social influence.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04

Others contribute vast sums to the re-
lief of widows and orphans. Most of
them are entitled to public respect and
confidence. Yet none has ever become
so dear to the people at large as the
order known as the Grand Army of the
Republic. In volume of membership it
is outstripped by several other institu-
the lowliest. But the fact that none
but military or naval veterans of the
great civil war can participate in its
rights and benefits makes membership
in it badge of patriotism; and the
simple ''comrade" of the Grand Army,
clad in his plain blue coat and prim-
tive SLOUGH hat, is greater man in
knight" and regalia-bedecked ''poten-
tate" whose gaudy :.ccoutrem=nts are
without significance to the uninitiated.
The faded uniform tells story of hard
ships and privations endured for the
sake of the flag we all love, of bloody
struggles for the perpetuation of the
union, of devotion to cause whose
justice is now recognized by those who
once thought of finding political happi-
ness and national greatness in the Gre
alton of new republic out of detached
fragments of the old.
The idea of organizing the veterans
of the civil war into a compact, easily
managed secret society originated
with DR.. Benjamin Franklin Stephen
son, surgeon of the Fourteenth Illinois
infantry, and Chaplain W, ]. Rutleec.
of the same regiment, while both were
still at the front. After the surrender
Of the confederate forces at Appo-
mattox Courthouse, and Immediately
following the historic parade of
Grants and Sherman's armies at WASH
ington, Stephenson and l:nuege con-
suited number of ex-soldiers in re-
gard to their plan. These talks re-
suited in the organization of the "de-
partment of Illinois of the Grand Army
of the Republic" at Springfield, in
March, 1866. Twelve veterans residing
at Decatur, ILL.,, were so pleased with
the principles of the new institution
that they applied for a charter and
were constituted the first post of the
order, April s, 1866. In less than four
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
TEXAS REFINEMENT.
ments of This Old Ala
bama Lady.

Louisiana folks are fond of telling
this story about their neighbor state,
Alabama:
Just after the war of secession there
lined up in Texas street, then about the
only street of note in Shreveport, La.
a prairie-schooner wagon loaded to the
canvas-roof with odds and ends OF
household goods of primitive make and
pattern. Two big, overgrown boys,
blowsy-headed girl and an old woman
of so years were in charge. While the
boys were removing the pots, kettles
and pans, preparatory to fixing camp
for the night, the old woman sat with
feet dangling over the front of the
wagon-bed, smoking plug tobacco
from a black, stubby-stemmed pipe,
one of those genial old gentlemen com.
mon to country towns and villages ap'
preached the wagon and inquired where
they were going.
The old woman, after assuring her
self that there was no danger of her
pipe going out, answered.:
swell, stranger, we jist amt goin'
nowhars tonight, but in the mornin'
we reckon to start on our journey back
to Alabam."
"Where are you from now?"
'sWe come from Texas"
"What part of Texas, MADAME"
"Oh, from pretty much all over it,"
"Did you not find Texas healthy?"
continued her questioner.
"Oh, yes. Some places was and some
places wasn't"
5"Was the water good? -. D.. Vi.
1--WE found plenty of good water and
lots of bad water out thar"
''Did you find the climate good?"
swell, yes, pretty fair sometimes
and sometimes it WASN'T
"How was the soil?''
swell, stranger, some of the land is
mighty good and some of the sile is
mighty pore, kin tell YOU"
II am surprised, madam said the
gentleman, "that as you say you found
the climate good, good water, good
health and good soil, you could agree to
move back to the old, red, WORKOUT
hills of Alabama again. Why did you
not stay in Texas?''
"Well, stranger" replied the old
dame, "1'll tell you why. It was the
society that objected to. They wasn't
refined enough for me-
At that moment she spied dog nos.
ing about among the kitchen vessels
and called out to her son:
"Look thar, Sam, at that thar infer.
nal, lousy, skin-back dog a-lickin' out
them pots. Throw brick at the cuss
and run him out. Yes, stranger, them
folks don't know a darned thing bout
bein' refined
The next morning they went on their
way back to the refinements of "old AL
abamer. u. r. Murphy, in Judge.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
editorial Comment,

""Poor old Jones, the grocer, died early
this thl b %frniDs' said the village editors bet
'Huh!" exclaimed the local-opinion
molder, "he's been dead for years."
"Been dead for years." echoed the as
tonished wife. "Why, what do you mean ?"
"Just what said, replied the re. ANY
man in business who doesn't advertise is a
dead one."-Chicago Evening News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
Too. Realistic.

'This story won't do at ALL" said
the publisher to the ambitious writer.
1.-THE detective chases a man all over
the world and never catches him.
swell, you see, it's a realistic story"
explained the writer. But the ex-
PLANTATION was unsatisfactory. - De-
troit Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04

distinctive feature appears in the dial.
Instead of the usual Roman figures or
numerals, the points are represented
by the letters ''G-E-O-R-G-E DEW
Ely" BY a lucky circumstance there
happened to be just eleven letters in
the admiral's name. and as watch
dial rarely has a figure where the Sec
ond hand comes, the name exactly fit
ted. In the outside of the back cap
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
The Fish Hatchery,

Half dozen ideal sites in the beau
tiful Glenwood Park district, in Hen
nepin county, near Glenwood Springs,
will be offered to the state game and
fish commission for the fish hatchery
now located at Willow Brook, St. Paul.
The states lease of the present hatch
cry will expire in few months, and
Minneapolis is most anxious to secure
this valuable acquisition for her park
attractions. For two acres of land in
the Willow Brook hatchery the COM
mission is now paying a yearly rental
almost equal to the value of the prop
erty, and the commissioners have
been considering the advisability of
selecting another site for long time.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
English ~ She I. Smoke.

Mrs. Brown-Our language is full of mis-.
nomers. For instance, met mar once who
was perfect bear, and they called him =
civil engineer.
Mrs. Smith-Yes, but that is not 70 ride.
ulous as the man they call teller" in a
bank, He won't tell you anything. l asked
one the other day: how much money M.
Jones had on deposit, and he just laughed at
me.-Collier's Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
Life insurance war Risks.

English insurance societies are badly
divided over the question Of w.:r risks.
Some refuse to have the volunteers at
any price, while others think the men
as safe in South Africa as at homo
catching influenza. Chicago Chron-
sicle. 5S#s
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
She Got Her Wardrobe.

Miss Ada Henry was, until few
days ago, leading lady in the Hot Old
Time Company. At Hibbing she had
falling cut with her manager and
left the troup pc, but she says the man
ager refused to give her either her
hotel or her theater trunk. She Sc
cured both of them at St. Paul by
stratagem.
Miss Henry went down to the bag
gage room and picked her trunks out
from the company's baggage, smiled
sweetly on the employees and asked
them to call a cab and have her trunks
sent to the hotel, as she had to get
one of her dresses in order to have it
mended in time for the opening per-
Torrance. The men, she says, did as
she asked, and when she reached the
room she took her clothes from the
trunks, filled them with brick and re-
turned them to the depot.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
Accounted For,

Aunt Jane ION visit)-Them new
neighbors g yourn look poorer than
church mice. +. (
Mrs. Jones-Yes. That is our minis.
ter's family. Judge. Z
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
Merely n Su1nesfiOn.

Husband-What's the matter with the
biscuits this morning?
Wife-It's the fault of the yeast. It failed
to make the rise
"Why don't you use an alarm clock?"-
Chicago Evening News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
Abnormal

Mammy,;1 wouldn't want no gal oh mine
to marry dat Sam johnson.
DiDah-Yo' wouldn't? - .
mo. Why, dat fellah am jes' as crazy
bout dress as a sensible niggah nd be bout
watahmillions!" PUCK.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
r Due to Anxiety.

Guest-Ouch! You've spilled some SOUP
down my neck. ..' - -
WaiterIs orful sorry, sab; but you see,
sab, rs SO in doubt if you is gwine to cub
me tip er not. it makes me nervous.-Wh hat
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
News In Brief.


The State Bank of Belle PLANE has
been sold to Dir. G. r. Maloney.
The 4-year-old son of Charles Gakin,
of Buchanan, was burned to death. A
team of horses, harness and some
farm tools were also burned.
Mrs. L. A. Larson, wife of the. senior
member of the Crookston Foundry
Company, was shot and instantly kill
ed by her 9-year-old son. The boy
picked up loaded rifle and accident
ally discharged it. The bullet entered
her temple.
The first big catch of fishermen this
season was made at Clitherall lake,
when Deputy Game Warden Bushnell
arrested twenty-three on charge of
netting, spearing and using artificial
lights.
More new druggists have been turned
out by the state board of pharmacy.
At it's last meeting the board exam
ined 40 applicants.
At Weaver, John Dosdall was
thrown from his buggy during runa-
way and was dragged nearly half a
mile before the horse was stopped. He
was brought to the Winona hospital.
Owing to. domestic unhappiness,
Louis Rehfeldt, of Winona, a German,
aged SO, attempted to commit suicide
by severing an artery in his wrist.
His wife summoned policeman and
the man was taken to physicians
office. + --s. %.z.@
A tramp giving the name of Mar.
tin Connor was arrested at Mankato,
charged with having assaulted the e.
year-old daughter of Mr.. and Mrs.
John Brainard, North Mankato. Con-
nor came from Minneapolis.
A dual track meet between the
teams of Minnesota and Wisconsin
universities has been definitely agreed
on, the same to be held in Minneapolis
May H.. s. @s . .. &, IS. ...
Miss Minnie Fisk, daughter Of
Chauncey Fisk, living one mile north
of Elgin, committed suicide with q
shotgun, the charge entering her fore
head. $..sz5 &=.5 5.ss5 .S ss.5@.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
Evidently she Failed.

& $50 she tried to freeze you with q
look p u s Is. - .s :
Eyes; that's what made me so hot"
Chicago Times Herald. H. :.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
Labor Conditions Good.

At the monthly meeting OF the d.
rectors of the Associated Charities the
secretary reported 11s cases dealt
with during the month, and 149 visits
made. The cases were relieved through
twenty cooperating agencies. Work
in the employment bureau shows a
very marked decrease in comparison,
with that of the corresponding month
last year, there being gill odd jobs
given to men, against 27s the previous
year, and $50 to women, against 4s9.
1t was decided to start the penny saw
ings system in connection with the
employment bureau.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
Al$holic or Not.

d. Gustomer--Nfoom is full Of rats, and
mo D ep sif po you want bro.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04

Paris is to have q bicycle police fore
st $50 men. ss.. ..l.5 55
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
Reduced Rates.

General Traffic Manager Clark, of
the Omaha, acting as chairman for
the committee on the southwestern
Minnesota grain rates, submitted the
schedule agreed upon by the roads.
These are the same rates submitted to
the roads by the state railroad COM
mission, and are based on rates for
similar distance on the Great North
ern and Northern Pacific roads in the
northern part of the state, put in eff
feet nearly two years ago as result
of the STEVENSON rate case. The new
schedule includes wheat, fax and
coarse gain.
Taking wheat as a basis, there is a
cut of from half cent to cents per
pushed from existing rates, the latter
being the extreme, however. The aver
age reduction is about one cent. On
the Milwaukee there is no cut at
Wells, half cent at Paramount and a
cent at Fulda. On the NJ. & St. L.
there is cut of cent and half at
St. James and one cent at Sherburne,
and so on.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-05-04
MINNESO 7 A NEWS.
Nickel with : History

At st. Cloud, while workmen were
engaged in making repairs at the Ind.
ner building, having removed tbs
floor, they madc,a somewhat odd find
It was only an ordinary green card
but the writing it bore. showed that il
had history. It read rs follows:
"St. Cloud, Mimi, March FL, 1871.
This, five cent Lincoln nickel was
dropped in here through a crack in
the floor while playing ''crack low
for the beer. Whoever finds it will
please return it to X. Lesser or j.. F.
Bradford, or their heirs. 1871" 4
search resulted in the finding of the
nickel, which bore the date Of 1863
1t was in good state OF preservation.
being still bright and showing little
signs Of wear. The place in the store
building where the nickel was foun'1
was cnce occupied as a tin shop by
G. Lesser. The card and nickel were
shown to Mr.. Bradford, who has been
sick for some time, and is still un.
able to leave his bed. He readily
recognized the writing on the card as
his own, Notwithstanding it's over q
years. rest under the floor of the
building.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-06-08
YERKES THE CANDIDATE.
Kentucky Republicans Decide to
Name Him for Governor.


LOUISVILLE. June s.-The Republican
call State convention for June q or Is.
and that the nomination Of John W
ferkes IoT Governor De made by aeelama-
tion.
W. s. Taylor's decision not TO return
to he State was really reached Sunday
when he was visited by numerous Zen
tucky Republicans It has been believed
that if Taylor would return and face the
indictment against him, he would be given
the nomination without opposition, but
his def ire to remain fugitive caused the
opposition to him which would sooner OF
later have developed in the shape Of an
open declaration for Yerkes
BY Taylor's action in yielding to the
pressure brought to bear he has prevented
an open declaration Of hostility against
him Taylor was requested TO withdraw
from the Gubernatorial race.
II was put TO him plainly at Sundays
conference that he ought TO either return
TO the State at once and defend himself
from the charges against him or quit in
favor Of some other candidate who is there
and who can make a canvass. Taylor ce-
clined 10 return 10 Kentucky and y as
then forced from the fight.
His plans for the future do not seem
well settled. Mrs. Taylor has rented .
house in Louisville, and Taylor has en-
tered into an agreement to become the
Indianapolis agent Of an insurance COM
pany-
Mr.. Taylor refuses TO talk about his
residence A member Of the Kentucky
delegation said II was Taylcr's intention
10 continue his legal residence in Ken
tucky, though bs would live at hotel in
Indianapolis
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-06-08
CYCLONES IN THE WEST.
Many Buildings Wrecked and Crops
Badly Damaged.

TOPEKA. Jups s.-A destructive wind
storm swept upon this locality early this
morning and the village Of Faulkner was
almost wiped out. Faulkner is seven
miles northeast of here.
The school Souse was destroyed, a
church was blown down. Worth Bros hay
and storage barn, and several dwellings
were demolished and many people had
narrow escapes with their lives Fire
followed the havoc wrought By the cyclone
and many dwellings were burned.
VINITA, 1. T., June s.-The damage to
property in Miami from yesterdays cy-
clone is estimated at IO0O0. The livery
barn of Manford Cooler was carried away
and totally destroyed.
AT QuspaW. a hay switch on the Kansas
City Fort Scott, ana Memphis Road
between Miami and Baxter Springs. Kan-,
nine large hay barns were wrecked.
No accurate estimate can be made IS TO
the damage to the wheat crop along the
storms path Wheat IL now ripe, the
farmers having Just been cutting and the
storm blew the wheat dowa. Corn was
also greatly damaged.