The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-05-20
RISE AND FALL
OF THE WHISPERS
The Emperor of Germany anda Rich
rnond Man
ARE IN A PECK OF TROUBLE.
They Have Taken Privileges With
Their Ministers and the Pub
lie Calls Them to
Account.
ARE IN A PECK OF TROUBLE.

observers OF men and things in Ber-
Nm report that the KaiSer's noustacAe Is
how waXed at j nlder angle tran Tor
merly- 1t is no longer turned SO ilerce-
ly upward, but tits al about forty-tive de-
grecs. The news Of the change has not
spread through Germany yet, for the
males Of the Empire still keep their NOUS
tacheS at the former imperial angle. The
change in the tilt OF Field Marchal Ho-
henzollerrI- rloustachc occurred coi1ci-
dently with a change of imperial BARRIERS.
The former tonsorlal artist became inDu-
dent, ii is said, and presumed upon his
close relations with the Emperor. Then
rhe Emperor got d new barber and new
angle for his moustache- This is the rea-
Eon given by the Berlin correspondents,
but discriminating persons will find a
deeper significance in the change of the
angle of the kaiser's nous tache. 1t indi-
Gates a less warlike disposition. The Kais-
er has put his moustache on d peace foot
ing
This little item has been going the
rounds Of the press, and 1t may seem
strange to some that the trimming Of
mans moustache shoald be "a matter of
public discussion But strange or not, it
Is a fact that there is nothing in which
the general public takes a keener interest
than in the changes which a man may
make from time to time in his whiskers.
If any doubt this let them change his
face from whiskers to u clean shave and
take his walks abroad.
Listen to my tale of woe.
THE ORIGIN.
There was man in our town recently
VINO had a generous growth OF red whis-
kers. They were the result Of clerical adj
vice and pious meditation. In his early
manhood he consulted a man of God as
to whether or not, in his opinion, 1T was
the right thing to wear whiskers.. Inc
preacher looked serious, as though about
to collect marriage fee, and said that
1t all depended on the man. Some men
could afford to turn their countenance
out, but other men should have a care
TO the harmonies Of public ornamental
ton. For his part he thought that when
the Lord gave man a mask for his
ugliness, he ought to use it and be thank
full.
Listen to my tale Of woe.
THE RESOLVE
The man in our town went homo and
said his prayers, then looked into the mir
ror face to face with himself, then began
to grow a beard. Nature was good and
there sprang UP in time a rich growth OF
red whiskers, which protected his inner
countenance from the burning gaze of
men as generously as the gourd vine pro
1ected Jonah from the sun.
Now these whiskers were conservative
IN color. They were not so red as a pIuSh,
though quite as modest. The shape some
times changed from rotund TO Nacidyke,
but nothing fantastic was ever essayed-
They never thought Of parting them
selves in the middle The winds OF loHf-
teen summers had blown through them,
but they had never ruffled their sweet
disposition.
Therefore, The public learned to love and
admire them. and hence my tale Of woe
THE MISTAKE.
In an evil moment the man OF our town
decided to shave. He said to himself,
This is a free country, and if a man
wants to shave it is his own affair, the
public has nothing to do with ii. But he
knows better now.
As soon as ne appeared, sans whiskers,
on the street the public at once showed
resentment and began TO take liberties with
him. Everybody in town, from the con-
Guctors on the street-cars TO the Cover
nor of the State. and Vice-President OF
the Richmond Carnival Association and
Rex stared at him and made remarks.
Strangest of all every such person told the
dear man that he had shaved, as though
HI. were printing the news. Il see you've
cut off your whislters,'' was the stereo-
typed remark, as though the dear man 5
family had not already told him about
st. The Governor and the rest of >them
would then discuss the changes in detail,
Invariably winding UP with the oserva-
ton, well. You certainly do look funny"
Yet this man is a very serious sort of
man and never in his life tried TO be fun
nv. much less to look SO. Some very i'm
pertinent men assumed a synpa thetic air,
and one said: Come, come old man, don't
let 1t worry you I don't think you look
a bit worse than you did before you
shaved.
Then there was a rude joker, but he's
not living now. who said: Talking about
those late whislzers of yours. they remind
me of one of the shows on Broad Street:
Maid of the Air." you knoW-"Made OF
the air." See?
Please listen TO my tale of woe.
THE MORAL
But my story is growing too long and
7 must shave 1t down to moral. This is
not a free country. a mans whisllers are
not his own, and my advice TO all red
whiskered men is TO let their whiskers
grow to be as long as the beard of Aaron
or that of the rankest Populist in the land
rather than shave and suffer the sings
and arrows of a nerciless public