Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-12-01
Mr.. JoBsoN's BALD SPOT

Inc increasing Oal0 spot on the top OF
Mr.. Jobsons head has been worrying him
| great deal during the past six months or
| 80. When he bought his first bottle OF hair
| son came upon him finally and caught him
| In the act of applying the queer-looking
liquid to the bald spot.
why, what in the world are you doing?'
she asked him.
Does 1t look to you as If I am trying to
cure chillblains?" growled Mr.. Jobson in
reply, angry because she had found him
out.
Why" said Mrs. Jobson, seeing the
| label on the bottle standing on the bureau,
its hair restorer!'
What did you think it was-Johannis-
berger Of the vintage of '33?'' inquired Mr.
Jotson. sarcasticaiy, cor maybe you
thought it was tawny old Madeira? Your
penetration, Mrs. Jobson, is occasionally
So
But" Interrupted Mrs. Jobson. aren't
you afraid that the stuff will be injurious?
l have often heard that those so-calied hair
restorers affect the minds of some people
who use them, and
"Oh, you heard that, did your mumbled
Mr.. JObson. well, why don't you take
time by the forelock and ring up Gordon
or SO of metropolitan police? You might
have me railroaded to some asylum, you
know, and then you'd"
But don't you really think" cut in Mrs.
Jobson again. that If nature intends you
to be trifle bald, any artificial means that
you may take to"
Il don't profess to be on such confidential
ter ms with nature as some folks L know,
madam" broke in Mr.. Jobson, grandly.
Mature intended whole lot of things that
don't appear to come out in the cards. Ma
ture intended, for example, that inqusitive-
ness should be abhorrent to the feminine
mind, and leave you to judge how nature
has fallen down in that respect. There's
good deal of poppycock about this leaving
things to nature. at that. l think / have
observed you apply certain white powdery
substance to your nose with a piece Of
chamois on different occasions, haven't L?
Well, If this nature that you appear to be
such chums with intended you to walk
through the world with a shiny nose, why
do you
"Oh,'' said Mrs. Jobson, 81 was only
thinking that l never heard of one of these
hair restorers really causing the lost hair
to grow out again. and"
Didn't, hey?'' broke in Mr.. Jobson
well, that's just one more of those little
things that you haven't heard of. The
man who recommended this hair restorer
to me was as bald as an orange, he told
me, when he started in to the stuff,
and now he looks enough like Paderewski
to be the piano Jumpers twin brother
so far as his name is concerned, / mean.
I'll bet you nice, thimble that in
side Of a week I'll have a thatch growing
out of that bald spot that'll keep the rest
of the hair on my head adjusting to main
tain TIE same lonSln. uOn
WAS the man who recommended it to
you the man who was selling it?' inquired
Mrs Jobson.
That's neither here nor there replied
Mr.. JobSon, turning red. ut don't make
any difference whether he was selling zinc
watches or turnips-he's got the hirsute
adornment to prove his statements, and
that's all that [ care to know. Fact is,
though, he showed me picture of himself
taken before he began to use this hair re-
storer, and he had no more hair on his
head than a Mexican hairless dog. Just
you hold yourself down for week, that's
all, and I'll show you head o hair that
you won't see anywhere else except at a
game Of foot ball.
Mr.. Jobson used the stuff religiously for
two three weeks, at the end of which
period his bald spot was a trifle larger, if
anything, and there wasn't even the sign
of gosling pin feathers to commend the
lotion to his further of it. So he aban-
doned that particular brand of hair re-
storer and brought home two bottles of
another kind. He didn't show these to
Mrs Jobson, nor. in fact, did he make
any further references on the subject of
hair restorers He seemed to have a mania
for trying different kinds of hair restorers.
He sent for pamphlets on 1.-The Cause and
Cure Of Badness and devoured them
eagerly, and on the following day he would
send for a couple of trial bottles of the
preparation for the restoration of hirsute
manufactured by the publisher of the PAM
phlet.
One night last week he brought home
smiling countenance and two bottles Of
pale pink fluid.
"Well, I've got the real thing at last
he said to Mrs. Jobson. It's recommended
by about $4,000 formerly bald men through
out this country and Canada, and the tes-
timonials are the most convincing litera-
ture / ever read in my life"
Mrs. Jobson made no reply, but she
couldn't help regarding Mr.: Jobson with
commiserating glance, which he caught and
resented.
"Oh you can grin all you're in a mind
to-" he said. IF you think there are $4,000
formerly bald people in this country who
are deliberately writing themselves down
liars over their own signatures, then I'd
hate to have your opinion of human nature,
that's ALL"
night he uncorked one Of the bottles and
rubbed the stuff well into his bald spot for
about fifteen minutes. Then he turned out
the gas and went to bed. Mrs. Jobson shook
him awake with cry of dsmay along
toward o'clock on the following morning.
She was pointing with a Mortified express
sion to the top of his head
what the dickens is the matter" asked
Mr.. Jobson, feeling of his bald spot
Look at the color Of it"' gasped Mrs.
Jobson.
Mr.. Jobson hoped out of bed and raced
over to the bureau looking glass, where he
saw that his bald spot was of rich russell
brown in color, If it had been heavily
painted with iodine. He growled something
anu TuSHeO 10 the WdSnStand and applied
suds to the bald spot, but not particle
of the color came off. The application Of
soap and water. in fact, rather intensified
the color.
Mr.. Jobson glared at Mrs. Jobson
Very well,' he said, in hard strained
tone. This is the end. You have at length
overstepped the limit. Any woman who
will deliberately chloroform her husband in
the middle of the night and then smear
some indelible substance all over the top
OF his head out of pure malice-very we'll.
madam; very WE'LL we shall have an un-
Outstanding and a final settlement some
time during the day."
Ihey have not yet had any settlement.
but Mr. Jobson Is wearing skull cap at
his office in order that his associates NAV
not see that uncanny-looking brown SPOT.
which Is very gradually wearing off. and
he Is not using any brand Of hair restorer
at present.
Penny Savings a Success,
Prom the Chicago News.
A penny saved Is a penny earned seems
to be the motto upon which the Penny Saw
ings Society of Chicago, organized June *.
1877, has been proceeding. The object of
this society Is to teach thrift and fruealitv
Through the medium of