Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-02-01
sToRYETTEs.

fish where su is pronounced as shu.
There was much interest shown In the
discovery, when Rudyard Kipling was
heard from the other end OF the table:
But, are you quite sure?"
The late Harold Frederic once sat
next to Cecil Rhodes at dinner Just at
ter the latter became famous, but was
not introduced. Rhodes was silent.
and kept his rudy face turned down
toward his plate. Who" said Fred
eric, after dinner, "is that fool that
sat next to at dinner?" Tableatr-
modification of one OF the shrewdes<
OF London correspondents.
A member of one Of the great London
political clubs once lost his umbrella.
and put up a notice In the hall re-
questing 1.-THE nob,eman" who had TAX
en- it to return IL when he had done
with 1t. The commj' e, in due
course, desired to be in rmed why he
had ascribed its possession to a peer.
The member blandly referred them to
the rule, which said that the club was
composed Of "noblemen and gentlemen"
and added that no gentleman would
have taken his umbrella
Geo. @. Cannon, the Utah statesman,
once attended an irrig ton congress.
at which drowsy delegate read a pa
per on artestan wells, which he declar-
ed always brought water except where
they struck rock. He repeated this
statement several times. At the fourth
repetition he defed any one to deny
the proposition, whereupon Cannon
looked up and, IN his full. musical
voice. asked: "How do you account
for Moses's SUGGEST"
Sir Henry Erskine once que led a riot
In Edinburgh when Mrs. Siddons was
playing to a crowded house in the larg-
est theater in the town. A surly fell
low in the pit refused to sit down, and
n howl went up from all around him.
The crowd was likely to do him and
the house q damage, when Sir Henry
came to the front OF his box with the
Quiet statement: "Pray excuse the gen
tleman; don't you see 1t is only tailor
resting HIMSELF" The man eat down
without further urging.
A Russian once told Archbishop Ben
son that he saw In police court In
Russia priest brought in, In undress
Of purple, and the court, magistrates.
and all, knelt and police sergeant
kissed his hand. Then, rising. the
magistrate said: you nasty, drunken
beast, SO you were drunk ag'in yester-
day. I'll make you remember 1t this
time" The priest was led out to an
adjoining yard, his clothes torn off, and
brought back half-fainting all knelt
lnw,, and raca{yad hiS hIcScjpU
DR.. Westcott, ONE travelling from Pc
terborough to London, sat in the car
riage with a comfortable Yorkshire
clergyman, with long upper lip and
ecclesiastical expression, who bought q
polite Of Strawberries and ate them
with great enjoyment and comfort.
Then he wiped his fingers and threw
the basket out Of the window with
great deliberation. A passenger from
the corner said: "a dangerous thing.
sir, that is" After q moments genial
reflection the clergyman looking round.
said with a sweet smile: I'VE live.
sir, in world of risksv'
Lady Randolph Churchill has inher-
tied the wit of her father, Uncle Lar
ry" Jerome, as she demonstrated upon
one occasion to an eminent British pol
itician. He was somewhat annoyed at
the campaign she had made. and saids
81 really don't understand. madam.
why or how 1t is that American ladies'
refuse to enter political life in their
own country, but overwhelm us here
in England" THAT is because you
have never travelled in tho states. The
men there are so Intelligent and PSI
tr-tA Il 1.of 40 A.
services OF our sex as an educating
force"
The pastor OF a colored congregation
was warming up to the climax Of his
sermon, and his auditors were waxing
more and more excited. II wahns yer.
o my congregashunr' exclaimed the ex-
horter, II wahns yer against de sin Nv
crap-shootin'! wahns yer against de-
sin of whisly-drinkin,' an de Gin Nv
chicken-raisin,' en- I wahns yer, my
breddern, against de sin NV melon
stealing" A devout worshiper In tho
rear of the church jumped to his feet
and snapped his fingers excitedly.
'Whuffo' does yer. my brudder, r'ar up
an snap yo' fingers when speaks Nv
melon-stealin' asked the preacher.
"Kaze yo' jes minds me whar lef'
nah overcoat," replied the devout wor-
shipper as he subsidized into his seat.
Bees are said to see an enormous dis
lance When absent from their hive
they go up in the eir until they see
their home and then fly toward 1t in a
straight lima
Thomas A Bdison's first large earn-
ings were $4,000. This he got from .
telegraph company for the model Of the
now famous ticker" for which he had
intended to ask 5000.
In South Africa the warmest month
lie February and the coolest Is July.
The temperature Is not as trying 40
that Of central Europe. The rainfall
for the year is light, varying from five
to twenty inches.
Captain Sigsbee, who was on the
Maine when it was blown up, but es-
capped injury, and then went through
the war with Spain without receiving a
scratch. has been knocked out by q
Brooklyn trolley car.
London has a joke on R2Nyard Kip
ling. A Zulu baby was To, 49, horn
In the kraal, about which there nas
been much scandal. They promptly
named It M. Fokasana E. Kohlaio,
which the interpreter has sworn means
The Abesent-Minded Bsggar."
ArfiH.iaI