New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1900-12-16
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

I'm a little village in the heart Of Touraine,"
says THE Onlooker." there still lives a small
brown old whose great pride Is that he once
had the honor OF making pair Of breeches for
Balzac. When he trotted up to the chateau
where Balzac staying he found the great
author writing a novel In the garden staring wildly
about him, while he covered sheet after sheet of
paper with words for which world waiting.
The tailor forced to interrupt the progress Of
the book In order to take the measurement of the
writer. Balzas submitted to the operation with
good grace, and made only remark to the
operator This remark enigmatic. No feet'
he said. and returned to his work The tailor in
great perplexty inquired of a servant what was
meant. and was informed that Balzac wished to
have the trousers made without openings at the
bottom. that he could sit and write in them
without having to put on slippers"
walker-The bride quite a popular girl.
Watkinson-Yes, indeed The Evening sacriAcer''
sent its sporting to report it, He printed
list of rejected lovers half q column long under
Louis Post Dispatch.
coIored lawyer of Washington, in arguing
dog recently before justice of the peace,
stated that the question for the determination of
the Court was "if vocetious dogs shall be allowed
to run at large in dangerous community to bite
little children that ought to be killed. when by
summoning 10 magistrates they could condemn and
kill them" The Court rather thought so, too.
The Lady of the Handout-I should really like to
know how you have succeeded in living all these
Dismal Dawson-Don't talk about it. lady. OATS
de only blot on me happy lfe-de work dey is in
f PEsss out how it ever haDDened-dndianapOs
over the Telephone.-'Is Pat O'Brien there?'
No Wei, when he in. please tell him
that his son-in-law is dead l am his son-ln-law
but not the one that's dead"
Willie had been told that when hen is heard
Sae ling around it is pretty sure sign that she
in an excited manner. and exclaimed:
clock make a noise iii 90 down and see II p she's
laid eggr'-CYonkers Statesman.
A. C. w Jenner. the sub-Commissioner who was
recently killed by the Somalis in Jubaland one Of
the four provinces OF the East African British
Protectorate. of Jenner the great ply
stefan. THE entire Protectorate." says THE Lon
don Spectator" rs just five times the size of
France and has at least two millions OF people
in It, but, usual we refuse TO maintain any ade-
quate garrison. force of five hundred men has
been gathered together somehow and Is marching
on the rebel somals. who are some four thousand
in number but If 1t should meet with check there
Will be nothing for IL but to indent upon Bombay
for small expedition. Most likely there will be
no check but this trick of of annexing vast
areas of tropical country and trying TO tax their
people without providing any new force to hold
the new territory will some day result in lam-
entable catastrophe. Great sections of our En-
pire float air"
Mr.. Hubb-Noasenset do rot see why should
take any notice Of the epithet he applied to me
IL meant nothing.
Mr.. Penn-What? Why. the man called YOU
blithering idiot
Mr. Hubb~Exactly: and there is no such word in
the English language as blithering.- PHILADELPHIA
Press.
sanitary inspector OF Chicago says: People in
Chicago in general have had little or no idea of
the great physical evil which has been caused con-
tinuously by the hundreds OF i'll ventilated churches
in this city. There is not one church in a hundred
which Is Ventilated 1t should be-"
Successful Farmer Whose son has been 10 col
iese)-What was all that howlin' you dom out
In tn grove?
Cultured Son-I was merely showing Miss Bright
eyes what a college yell Is Hkel
Farmer-Wal, ] swan! Colleges good
after all I'm goin' into town TO sell some truck
to-morrow. You kin go along an do tn callin'-
(New-York Weekly