davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
Acephalous Roostere.

1t was once thought impossible that
a human being could live and walk with
broken neck, and perhaps still more
doubted that rooster could live, stand
and be fed after the hatchet had sew
cred its head from the body. But such
are the real hard facts. The phenom-
email rooster was exhibited some years
,go in Huntington, w. Va. The exhib-
itors said they got the fowl from a
farmer who had decapitated it, after
which it got upon Its feet. However
this may be, the headless, living rooster
was not deception. 1t was fed through
tube inserted in its throat. 1t is obvi-
GUS that the farmers stroke was a little
too high, and that portion of the back
brain still remained, and partially per-
formed its functions. How long the
fowl lived did not hear. One thing is
certain-he died game"
A negro, seeing millions In it." then
experimental on the gallinacious tribe,
and succeeded in turning out a fair dup
licate of the aforesaid acephalous curl
osity (for whom made a picture Of the
rooster with which to ADVERTISED, and
he started on tour of exhibition. He
returned not long after and told me he
was doing well, and could have made
some money at decapitating roosters for
other parties who wanted them for ex-
hibition, but that he was prevented by
the authorities, upon the accusation of
cruelty.-Forest and Stream,
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
SALT LAKE CITY.
An Important Factor In Transconti
mental Travel,

An Important Factor In Transconti-
mental Travel.
No one crossing the continent can
afford to cut Salt Lake City from his
route. The attractions of the place.
including the Mormon Temple, Taber-
nacle and Church institutions, the
Great Salt Lake-deader and denser
than the Dead Sea in the Holy Land
the picturesque environment and the
warm sulphur and hot springs, are
greater to the square yard than any To-
cality on the American continent.
The Rio Grande Western Railway,
connecting on the East with the Dem
yer & Rio Grande and Colorado Mid
land Railways and on the West with
the Southern Pacific Central Route)
and Oregon Short Line, is the only
transcontinetnal line passing directly
through Salt Lake City. The route
through Salt Lake City via the Rio
Grande Western Railway is famous all
the year round. On account of the
equable climate of Utah and Colorado
it is just as popular in winter as in
summer. Send &c to J. D. Mansfield,
253 Washington St., Portland, or Geo.
w. Heintz, Acting General Passenger
Agent, Salt Lake City, for a copy of
"Salt Lake City-the City of the
Saints
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
"1Ke Prudent Man SetteM
They We're Not Capons.
HlaZ2a lE3:lll:l1zH1

Waiter, l asked for roast chicken,
but I did not wish one with legs as
large as teaspoonP'
.'Yas. sab, ah know, sab, but desc
yere chickens is roasted in special
way, sab. Yo' see, they're Matched in
one of desc yere inkubattors. When
they grow little, sab, they re shifted
to one end of the instrument m baked.
So when we have a great many ohdahs
we has to take 'em earlier, and they
doesn't get SO much chance ter grow,
sab. That was the case with youahs,
sab.
Waiter, it is with great solemnity
that affirm that you happen to be the
greatst prevaricator 1 have ever met.
Bring me a half-dozen more of those
chickens that 60 to roast early. See?"
Call.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
HoMEsPuN PHILOSOPHY.
Observations of Commonplace ThinGs
by the Atchison Globe Man.

Observations of Commonplace ThinGs
by the Atchison Globe Man.
Every man hates the consequences.
Oniy a very wise man can take the
world easy.
Some men never go anywhere, ex-
cept when there is a fire.
If you want to be forgiven for lying,
tell lies that are interesting.
Tears have been greatly overdone:
crying is becoming ridiculous.
When man can get fun out of his
business, instead of going out Of town
for it, he is all right.
There Is a good deal said about "for-
ever" by lovers; meaning, probably,
some time next week.
There may be some gain In casting
bread on the waters, but there Is more
in throwing bait In.
Some people take q notion to be your
friends, the same as some people take
a notion to be your enemies.
Those people who are always visit
ing" to avoid paying board. accept
some very funny Invitations.
After the first baby arrives man
mas IL more ulluculI u get Sy uiPdlAy
from his wife when business Is dull.
An elderly woman who Is admired by
her elderly husband, in spite of the
storms of life, is always worthy Of it.
These days, when you speak of a
widow, people want to know whether
she is cemetery or. court house
widow.
A doctors favorite charge against
another doctor is that he learned all he
knew while acting as errand boy Mt
drug store.
One of the funniest things in the
world is to hear quiet, timid little
woman trying to entertain a man who
is very deaf.
When a woman sends her children
out of the room when another woman
calls, it means that she regards the
caller as a gossip.
A woman cannot keep moth out Of a
few old duds in a single closet, but
think of the genius of men who keep
moth out of clothing stores!
When a man dies who has been mar
ried twice, there is always some curl
osity as to how his widow feels at
burying him beside his first wife.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
Captains Paget Under Fire.

It was In this fight that shrapnel
shell struck the road within ten inches
of the foot of the British naval attache,
Capt. Paget, and lifted five Wisconsin
volunteers off their feet and knocked
them down. For moment Paget was
lost to view in cloud of dust and
smoke, from which no one expected to
see him reappear alive, but he strobe
out of it untouched, remarking In
tone of extreme annoyance: There
was she'll in the Soudan once did ex-
actly that same thing to me-" His tone
seemed to suggest that there was
limit to any mans patience. A few
minutes later a solitary tree beneat.
which he was sitting was struck by an
other shell which killed two and
wounded three men. Paget, who had
been in a dozen campaigns, took it all
as a matter of course, and assisted one
Of the wounded men out of the range
of the bullets from the side of a steep
and high hill. The sight did more to
popularize the Anglo-American alliance
with the soldiers than COULD the weight
lest argument of ambassadors or states
meQ-Scribner'S
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
The Ark Not Found.

Little might it be thought that the
Emerald Ise was suspected of entomb-
ing any relics of Bible times. But the
imagination of some one has been more
active and eccentric. In County
Meath there is Royal Mound of the
Hill of Tara, on which, for 1000 years
the kings of Ireland were crowned. A
gentleman named Glover, who has
obviously developed some strong symp-
toms of British Israelism, was con-
WINGED that the Ark of the Covenant
lay buried beneath the mound, and,
consequently, proceeded on subter-
ranean expedition in search of the lost
treasure. But, after expensive excava-
tions, which the landlord permitted
and the board of works had no legal
power to prevent, and after weeks of
fruitless search. the fancied explorer
gave up his quest.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
COLLECTS BILLS FOR DOCTORS
Man Whose Business 1t Is to Make
Patients Pay Prom pity.

Man Whose Business 1t 1s to Make
Patients Pay Promptly.
There was nothing remarkable about
the appearance of the man Neyerthe-
less, one Of the party felt himself called
upon to say that he probably had the
most curious job Of anybody In the city.
He's business manager for doctors"
he explained.
There's nothing new in that" was
the retort of another member Of the
party. 81 know of number, Of physi-
clans and dentists who pay certain
sum each month to have their bills
made out. The man so employed goes
to their Offices for day or two. writes
up their books, makes out their bills,
and mails them. Sometimes three or
four doctors having offices In the same
building will employ one man among
them for this purpose. Members of
these professions are notoriously poor
business men, and some of them lose
about half they make owing TO that
fact.
But this man." persisted the first
speaker, docs even more than that. He
has taken up that idea and carried it to
its logical conclusion. He has an office
of his own, and all bills are payable at
that office. He takes the books of his
clients to his own office. makes out the
bills, and collects the money. or course
he has to be man of standing. in
place confidence, but he is all Of that.
and he does just the work physician
needs to have done. For some reason
doctors bill is the very last that most
men pay. The average citizen will pay
his grocer or his butcher or any other
tradesman with reasonable promptness.
but will let his doctor wait.
Now. this young man of whom am
speaking simply conducts the financial
part Of the doctors business on bust
ness principles. He does just as much
as merchant would do and no more.
The first bill is followed by another and
if that receives no attention he goes
out as collector and presents the third
In person. But he says, the mere fact
of the bills being sent out on time and
followed up with reasonable prompt
ter requesting that they receive early
attention, has had wonderful effect
in increasing the number that are paid
promptly, for, after all. the doctors are
largely responsible for their own trou-
BILE in getting pay for their services. The
young man is not a lawyer, and he
never sues for the money. He does
not pose as bad-debt collector. never
writes threatening letters, and never
resorts to bulldozing tactics. Yet, as l
say. he has been most successful and
has proved himself worth far more to
his clients than they have to pay for
having their business affairs method
ically conducted. After he is through.
If he has failed to get the money, it
rests with the doctor to decide whether
he wants the bill put into the hands OF
lawyer, and he has the further salts
faction Of finding out.fn much shorter
time than ever. before just what bad
1ebts he has on his books. Chicago
inter Ocean.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
TRAIN THE LEFT HAND.

English Plan for Doing Away with
Writers' Cramp.
An English writing master of repute.
named Frederick Falconer. had long
puzzled over the question Of how to
provide a remedy for the distressing
trouble known as writer's cramp,
which lays hold of the wrist and hand
Of a man who is compelled to do much
writing, and forces him to stop work
and rest until the cramp departs. Now,
nature does not usually provide an in
Fiction for which there is no remedy,
so argued Falconer.
Like a fash came the solution of the
problem; and now all the teachers of
writing, bookkeeping and clerks in
England are saying to each other:
why did we not think Of that be-
fore?" Falconer's line of reasoning was
simply this: Nature has provided man
with two hands.
When he insists on using only one for
some particular purpose, such as writ
ing. nature steps in and raps him over
the knuckles for his foolishness. In the
case specified the rap over the knuckles
is called writers cramp." Since writ
ing first became an art, men, with the
exception Of few persons naturally
left-handed, have written with the
right hand only. Falconer's PROPOSE
tion is to have the pupils at the Eng
lish schools taught to write with either
hand. Provided their education in this
direction Is begun early enough. there
Is no reason why the left hand should
not be used to guide the pen as well as
the right. Then good-by to writers
cramp. When the right hand becomes
stiff with too much handling of the pen
the writer only needs to shift the pen
to the left hand.
What folly" says Mr.. Falconer, ''to
train boys and girls to use but one
hand. No wonder that the left is al
most losing its usefulness. Why are
not carpenters trained to saw with the
left hand as well as the right, ball-play
ers to throw with either arm and sol
diers to shoot from either shoulder?
Fancy training a child to walk with
one leg only. Yet this is just as sensi-
BILE as to allow him to grow up using
only one arm"
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
Canadian Roa,men-

An English army officer who visited
Canada some years ago, tells how he
was ferried across the st. Lawrence at
Quebec one January day when the river
vas full of moving ice. Under such
circumstances the passage Of a river Is
kelly to turn out q pretty lively ex-
erience.,-
Huge fields OF ice were hurrying
lown the current, and looking at the
distance between my side and the other.
/ could hardly see how we were to
escape being knocked to pieces. How
ever, resigned myself to my fate and
o my French-Canadian crew: and they.
i've in number. as soon as was ready,
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26

Lockwood Washington
America As the of her
Peruna Medicine Company, she
have used your Peruna both for myself and mothe Mrs.
Hannah Bennett her SSh and find invaluable
remedy for cold catah diseases; good
for feeble and old people, those down. and with
unsrune" Yours truly. BELVA A. LOCKWOOD. .
attac
catah the pelvic There hundred of ~ of the
they ALL This
sickness Health
Medicine Cumbus Ohio.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
saxiue to thu Last.

'You have only an hour longer to
live, !" said the physician, solemnly, to
the wealthy miser on his deathbed. els
there anything you wish attended to
before you pass away?"
Yes, answered the stricken man
in faint, yet eager tones. ST am glad
you spoke of it. Send for the barber
at once and have him shave me before
] die. I only have to pay him SO cents
for coming in to shave me now, and the
regular price is one 81 for shaving a
dead man. Might as we'll save that
half-dollar while I'm about it. New
York World.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
rh . RrookIvn Rridpe.

The greatest suspension bridge In
the world is the Brooklyn bridge,
which also leads the world in the num-
Der of its daily passengers. Its length,
including approaches, is $3.50 feet, the
distance between the towers $50 feet.
the weight of the structure is 6,74O
tons, its cost was over $15, 100000. The
bridge cars carry over 100000 peo-
nile every year.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
Followed the Crowd.

The innocent, unlimited guest does
not always escape SO easily as the In
dianapolis man named by the Sentinel.
This man, being in London on bright
afternoon, saw many well-dressed peo-
pie going through the iron gates oppo-
site his boarding-house. Accordingly
he dressed up" and joined the process
sion. He found himself inside park,
and sat on the seats and enjoyed the
music. A young lady came and gave
him cup of tea and he had a good
time generally. The next day at the
table some one asked what was going
on across the way the day before.
Mr.. Humphrey Ward gave large
garden party said the landIady.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26

Professor Tieman, who died in Ger
many recently, was an eminent chem
ist. He made two noted discoveries,
one an extract used largely in place of
vanilla, and the other the production of
an odor of violet that is SO near perfec-
tion that florists now use it to spray
odorless violets, thereby giving them
that matchless perfume that makes the
violet the most popular flower of the
day. His vanilla substitute is said to
be an exact copy of the true vanilla ex-
tract and impossible of detection save
by analysis, and not always then.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
The Ruling Passion,

The clergyman had finished and the
organ was pealing forth the sonorous
rapture of the Mendelssohn march.
Zone moment, George" said the ra-
diant bride, and, facing the audience,
she raised her exquisitely bound
though somewhat bulky prayer book in
her daintily gloved hands and pointed
1t directly at the brilliant audience.
There was sharp click.
''All right, George" said the bride,
''come along"
And as they marched down the aisle
she showed him that the supposed
prayer book wasn't a prayer book at all.
1t was q cameral
''It's my own idea, George" she
whispered. "Clever, isn't it?"-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
A Dwarf Oueen.

Probably the smallest monarch IN the
world reigns over the Hindoo vassal
state of Bhopaul, and governs a people
of more than 100000 souls. This
dwarf is woman, Djihan Begun by
name, but, although she is about 50
years old, she does not appear larger
than a child Of 10. Her diminutive
size does not prevent her. however,
from holding the reins of government
with a firm hand. and in her realm quiet
and order are supreme.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26

Aren't you afraid the law will take
us in hand for gambling ?" said the
timid man who had just been persuad-
ed into making an election bet.
"Never mind" answered the conf
dent politician. Even if it does,
you're all right. They wouldn't send
you to Jail for making that bet.
They'd send you to the insane asylum. 4"
Washington Star.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
when Their Hearts Were Full.

Overhead glittered the stars of a
cloudless sky in June, and the full moon
beamed enchantingly on landscape in
repose. Not 4 breath ruf1led the leaves
of the trees, says the chronicler in the
along which Bolivar Pyke and Buena-
vista McCorkIe were vending their
way slowly homeward from meeting
Of the Gyrogeosophistical Society. Not
a ripple stirred the surface of the ro-
mantle frog pend on the left, in whose
bosom was mirrored the glorious firm
ament, and not a sound came from the
suburban farmhouse on the right,
whose inmates were sleeping the deep
sleep OF deliverance from the trials and
labors which beset them by day.
"Boliyarp' exclaimed the maiden, as
something by the roadside rejecting
the pale radiance of the moonbeams
caught her eye, "what is that on the
groundY
at it.
Its nothing but snail, Buenavista,"
he said. '"The beauty Of the night has
tempted it forth. 1t is wonder" he
continued dreamily, that all inanimate
nature Is not out for moonlight stroll.
The night is too lovely to be spent in
doors, even in restful slumber that tired
Nature exacts after day of incessant
toll"
The enjoyment Of the wondrous love-
illness of the evening seemed too deep
for words, however, and in silence the
young people proceeded slowly on their
way, communing only in that voiceless
yet eloquent language that expresses
itself iHsa glance of the eye, pressure
of the hand, or softly breathed sigh.
Long had they walked on thus in
ecstatic silence, when the gentle girl
again spoke.
Bolivar" she said. ST think see an
other snail there on the ground"
The young man stopped to inspect it.
Raising himself and slightly quickening
his faHering steps, he said:
''No, Buenavista; 1t is the same snail"
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
A Georgia Literary Blowout.

From the the Whitsett Courier: The
closing exercises of the Literary club
were highly successful. Perfect order
was preserved without the attendance
of the town marshal, whose children
were laid up with measles, from which
we sincerely hope they will recover
soon. There was high tumbling by o
stranded circus performer, wrestling
match in which nobody was hurt, after
which a delightful hot supper was
served, consisting of more than we
have space to mention. It was said
that the sheriff overate himself and had
fits, but the report is false, for we were
personally present until daylight, and
we positively assert that all went
merry as marriage bell.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
British Army Eve Teses.

OF the candidates for the British
army who fail to pass the tests four
out of five are rejected because Of de-
fective vision The eyesight test con-
sists of being able to count correctly
with both eyes, as well as each eye sep
arately. number of small black dots
exhibited on card ten feet from the
candidate.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26

The o. R. & N. and Oregon Short
Line have added buffet, smoking and
library car to their Portland Chicago
through train, and dining car service
has been inauguarated. The train is
equipped with the latest chair cars,
day coaches and luxurious first-class
and ordinary sleepers. Direct connec-
tion made at Granger with Union Pa
cific. and at Ogden with Rio Grande
line, from all points in Oregon. Wash
ington and Idaho to all Eastern cities.
For information, rates, etc., call on
any o. R. & N. agent, or address W.
H. Hurlburt, General Passenger Agent,
Portland.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
The HeInful Prime.

Prunas afford the highest nerve or
brain food, supply heat and waste, but
are not muscle feeding. They should
be avoided by those who suffer from
the liver.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26

A new rival to Niagara Falls is pro.
jected at Newfane, N. Y, where So
foot dam is to be erected, and large
number of factories are to be erected
preliminary to making it, as its pro-
lnoters say, the greatest manufacturing
town in America operated by cleo
tricity.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
Mos. Expensive Drug.

a London specialist says the most
expensive drug is physostigmine. an
ounce of which would cost nearly
$1,000. 1t is prepared from the Gala
bar bean and is used in diseases of the
eve.
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26

By local applications, as they cannot reach the
diseased portion of the ear. There is only one
way to cure deafness, and that is by eonstitu-
tlonal remedies. Deafness is caused by an in.
famed condition of the mucous lining of the
Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets in
hamed YOU have a rumblng sound or imper-
feet hearing, and when 1t is entirely closed
deafness is the result, and unless the inf1amma-
tion can be taken out and this tube restored to
Its normal condition, hearing will be DESTROYED
forever; nine cases out OF ten are caused by
catarrh. which is nothing but an infamed
condition of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness Caused by catarrh) that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for
circulars, free.
i. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
Sold by Druggists, 75c
Halls Family Pills are the best
Union gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1899-1900, 1900-01-26
An Excellent Combination.

The pleasant method and beneficial
effects of the well known remedy,
SYRUP OF FIGs, manufactured by the
CALIFoRNIA FIe SYRUP Co., illustrate
the value of obtaining the liquid laxa-
tive principles of plants known to be
incidentally laxative and presenting
them in the form most refreshing to the
taste and acceptable to the system. It
Is the one perfect Strengthening laxa-
tive, cleansing the system effectually,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
gently yet promptly and enabling one
TO overcome habitual constipation per-
manently. Its perfect freedom from
every Objectionable quality and SUBJ
stance. and its acting on the kidneys.
liver and bowels, without weakening
or irritating them, make 1t the ideal
laxative.
In the process Of manufacturing figs
are used, as they are pleasant to the
taste, but the medicinal qualities of the
remedy are obtained from senna and
other aromatic plants, by a method
known to the CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP
Co. only. In order to get its beneficial
effects and to avoid limitations, please
remember the full name of the Company
printed on the front of every package.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP co.
SAN FRANCISCO, CAL.
LOUISVILLE. ky. NEW YORK, N. z.
For sale by all Drusgists.-Price SOC. per bottle.