Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-12-29
ANAWkWARD PREDlCAMENT


"One afternoon last week." said an ami
able youth who draws government wages
for toiling and moiling in the State De-
partment, II started down to my taiior's
with a coat that he had sent up to me on
the night before and that didn't fit me.
went down to leave the coat with me
tailor and have him fix it over where It
didn't fit / wore the coat beneath this
long and wide Raglan I've got on. hate
to carry bundles, and SO l didn't want to
wrap up another coat and carry 1t along.
to put on when I took off the misfit coat
to leave with the tailor. So l decided to
wear the coat down to his shop. leave II
with him and then pull my Raglan on over
my shirt sleeves 1t wasn't cold. and the
Raglan comes up high around the neck,
and l didn't intend to stop anywhere ex-
cept the tailor's shop, where I'd have to
leave off my overcoat. and l figured that
the scheme would work all right.
so l took the coat my back to the
tailor's, had him mark 1t up with chalk
for the necessary alterations, pulled on my
Raglan over my shirt sleeves and started
back home, strolling out street. First
person l met was a girl l used to know
and be pretty soft on over in old Philadel-
phia. She was just getting into carriage
in front of a shop with her mother. l
hadn't seen her for more than year-not
since the announcement of her engagement
and we had been school children together.
She seemed to be pretty glad to see me
when l went UP to the carriage, and so
did her mother. and the young woman. sec
onded by her mother, insisted upon my
getting into the carriage, driving to the
hotel at which they were stopping, ana
having bite to eat with them-they had
been driving and shopping all the morning
and said they were starved. l remembered
my shirt sleeves under my overcoat. and
of course. had to side-step the invitation.
/ wanted to go along with them just the
worst way in the world, but knew that
i. impossible, rugged out as l was.
and they called me sulky and bear and all
kinds of other things for firmly "9chr1ns
to accept their cordial Invitation. I know
1 seemed like pg-headed sort OF propo-
sition and an migrate besides for refus ny
to accept a nice. cordial, snug little invi-
tation like the one they extended to me.
but 1t couldn't be helped. l couldn't dine
in my shirt sleeves, could l?
Il had hardly seen their carriage turn
the COLI er when l met a lady with whose
husband / am on close poker and otner
telms and at whose house l often visit.
My, but l am glad l ran across YOU!
she exclaimed. looking so delighted that
was quite puzzled. 1 am down town 1or
the purpose of buying my husband mack
intosh for his Christmas present, and L
haven't the slightest notion what SIZE TO
ask for, you men are such great, nukihs
things. and you are just exactly MS SIZE
that when you were horrible. dlssipated
bachelors and roomed together you used to
often wear each others clothes, and you
shall march straight to the store with me,
sir, this instant, and try on every mackir-
tosh in the place. until 1 find one that L
think Jackll like
Nice wasn't it, and me in my shirt
sleeves? Well, | don't know how | man.
aged to wriggle out of that. Told her.
believe. that | was rushing for d train that
was due to start in seven minutes, or some
thing like that, but | am certain that she
didn't believe me- and that she thought me
simply an ugly, unaccommodatlng dub OF
the most grabbed description.
My next miserable adventure was when
I met four rafting pretty girls of my &C
quaintance who are studying art at the Cor
coran School Of Art, and who live In deuced
cozy bachelors apartments together, not
far from Lafayette Square. Well, they
were all bound home from an afternoon
shopping, and they were nice enough to
ask me to accompany them to their apart
ment studio and have dish Of tea with
them. Two of them said their brothers, In
Washington on a visit, would be there. and
they said we'd have a bally joyous time Of
it. Well, there 1 was. wasn't L? Wouldn't
that jar your mothers ounce preserves?
I'd have given prlmissory note for $f0O
pat to be able to go along with that nice,
sweet, hgh-grade bunch of young women.
whose cheeks were like the roses, but how
the dickens could pull off my overcoat in
the artistic bachelor apartments Of a
bunch of nice girls and show EN- that 1
was In my shirt sleeves? Wouldn't they
have Immediately arrived at the determine
ton that l was a counterfeit? | had to
pass that invitation up, too best could,
and they all looked reproachfully at me. as
much to say they'd me farther be-
fore they'd ever extend another nice little
invitation like that to me.
Next two l met were middle-aged man
and his wife, bowling goou people, the both
Of EN-. whom I've been cultivating ever
since my arrival in Washington. They've
got as pretty home on Vermont avenue
as you ever put your foot in. Well. the
man clipped me on the shoulder and said.
cheerily:
Hello. there. son. g. to've met you
We've decided to dine down town. and we
want company-weve covered pretty nearly
every subject under the sun ourselves this
afternoon, haven't we. my dear?' address,
ing his wife. Come on down to hotel
and We'll eat
Great again, wasn't it? When I turned
that invitation down, too, as I, Of course,
had to, the man glowered at me like a man
will who feels that he's been rebuffed in a
way-and then 1 went back to my board
ing house and sat down to the regular old
boarding house dinner, Of which I am be-
coming SO weary that I'll have to get
married out Of sheer desperation one of
these old days. The next afternoon l went
down town with all of my clothes on, but
nary a person did 1 meet who was kindly
enough to offer to take me somewhere or
other and feed me-"