Graham guardian., 1900-09-07
THE SICK HUSBAND AT HOME.
A Transaction In Hats Complicated
by u Servants Zeal That
Brought Trouble.


full was going TO happen. OF course,
the mere fact that MIR. Broadway was
Ill was bad enough, but she knew
from experience that his inability to
attend TO business was not marker
TO the trouble that would be sure to
strike them in some form as re-
suit of his mdisposition. But even
her widest fancy could not conjure
up anything SO dreadful as what real-
ly did come to pass, says the New
I York Sun.
Mrs. broadway stayed at home all
the forenoon and dosed her spouse
I and plastered him and blistered him
MS dutiful wife should, but shortly
after luncheon she began to show
signs of uneasiness. Mr.. Broadway
had observed these signs before and
! learned their significance.
"had you intended to go anywhere
this afternoon. Kate?" he asked.
"Y-y-yes," stammered Mrs. Broad
way. Il did have an engagement with
Mrs. Harlem"
"Then just you go right along" said
Mr.. Broadway, magnanimously. Don't
stay here on my account. I'm getting
along beautifully. I'm spry as crick-
ell tins afternoon and would rather pre-
fer being alone SO as to cut all the
antics like and scandalize nobody"
Mrs. Broadway was a conscientious
woman. but that day pleasure tugged
at her with resistless force, and after
cheering MIR. Broadway with few
phrases expressive of conjugal affee-
tion she began TO array herself for the
outing. Before leaving the house she
came into the sitting-room to deliver
few parting instructions.
81 forgot all about that hat busi-
ness" she said, "but l guess you can
attend to it for me. You remember
that hat got last fall, don't you, JAS
PERI The black velvet one, trimmed
with pyramids of chiffon and TUFTS of
unciass,ned plumage. never did like
the tning, il was so frightfully unbe-
coming. | wore it downtown yester-
day and was conscious of looking so
much like flying zebra that deter
mined to get rid OF it. | stopped one
of those street solicitors for second
hand clothing over on Sixth avenue
and struck a bargain with him then
and there. He win be here for the hat
this auernoon. He's to pay three dol
lars for il. The hats in box on
chair in my room. When he comes
giye it to him, please, and be sure to
gel lie money. Don't let him go away
without that, whatever you do. He's
tricky. and youll have to watch him."
About four o'clock the clothes dealer
came Tor the velvet hat. Mr.. Broad
way Brought the bandbox from the
heoroom and handed it to the man,
| giugsriy.
a on may open it If you want to-"
he said, "but it's all right"
Thedealer was worldly-wise, heavy
browed. black-whiskered individual,
who looked as il he would cast
doubt upon the word of angels. He
was certainly suspicious of ldr. Broad
way, for he raised one corner of the
lid and peered cautiously into the
depths of the box.
"oh, yes" he said, quickly, "it's all
right" Then he paid over the So and
went away.
A little past six Mrs. Broadway came
home "0h, Jasper" she cried, the
minute she entered the hall door, ibid
my new hat come?'
"Your new hat, repeated Mr.. Broad
way mo, guess not. l didn't see
anything of new hat"
"Polly," said Mrs. Broadway, "did
my new hat Gomez"
"Yis, men," said Polly, "it did. set
it on Chair in your bedroom, and
you'll find it there now"
Mrs. broadway had dashed into the
bedroom and swept every chair and bit
of furniture in the room with COM
prehensive eye, but there was no band
box in sight.
"Ah, here it is in the closet" cried
Mrs. Broadway, an instant later.
Polly, your memory isn't half an inch
long, You never can remember where
you put things"
Hastily Mrs. Broadway united the
strings and lifted the lid. Then she
sank Down on the floor beside the box
and raised her voice in lamentatation.
The same old velvet scarecrow!"
she walled. "The same old chiffon, the
same old birds!"
Tine saints be praised!" said Polly.
II red up the room the minute you
slipped out. for didn't like the looks o.
that old box a-settin' on the chair.
But whin the new hat come put il in
the self-same place so yer eyes d light
ON II the very first thing"
Mrs. broadway was deaf to this ex-
PLANTATION. "And you gave away my
new hat, my brand-new hat to that
clothes man?" she said to Mr.. Broad
way, sternly.
mot gave II away, my dear. Igot SO
FOR IL" chirped Mr.. Broadway, bravely,
slapping his hands against his trousers
pocket and smiling at the chink of the
silver coin that issued therefrom.
"And II cost twentyl" said Mrs.
Broadway, tearfully. "I'm lost. I'm
ruined. I'll never be able to find that
wretch again this side of kingdom
come. What shall / do?"
Mrs. Broadway arose from her lowly
position on the floor, and then tow
cred angrily above the culprits. Polly
shifted uneasily toward the door.
~ hope you won't blame me, men,"
she said. I'm sure 1t amt my fault" !
"No," said Mrs. Broadway. benign
ly. ~ Cont. "He's the one to blame for
1t all -he--he. Jasper, the blunder is
yours. You were born to make mis-
takes, The next time you get sick +
hope honestly hope, you'n go down