Evening journal., 1900-04-04
HUMoR OF THE DAY.
eeoreIe Tells How Pa Spent Day
on the Farm.

on the Farm.
Me and the pupp and nav and paw
and little albert went out in the coun-
try a Satardy to Visit unkle Henry's.
Unkle henry is maw's bruther and
wunst him and Her was little boys
and gurls like me and little albert and
Cnkle Henry Sed nav Neost TO Run
around in Her Bair feet and Cline
trees and Fan out of the Hay In the
Barn and skin the Cat jist like Boy.
I'm offel sorry / Herd that about nav
Becos / Can't hardly keep on Thlnkin
She's a nangel emmy more. Wisht She
would Of Bin a nice little gurl With
Dimpuls in Her Cheeks and Curls
Down her back and always kept Her
Dress Clean and Didn't never make
shoots OF people. Sumtimes when
think about it l almost Haft TO Weap.
Before we went paw He was tellin
us all about the CRATE things he ust
TO DO when He lived on Farm. It's
wonder people Didn't come from
miles around to See paw.
So when we Got out paw He thot He
would Sho us how to milk n COW and
Unkle Henry Give him pale and a
Stool with only One Laig what paw
They was a nice Sad looken cow
what was all Black with a White
Stripe around WHARF Wimmin Waire
thare corset and Unkle Henry told
paw she was as Gentle as n lam. so
paw took of his cote and cuffs and let
inaw Hold them and pulled up His
Sleayes and Set Down on the Stool
with one laig and Held the pale Be
tween His nees and Grabbed Hold
/ with Both Hands
The furst stream shot out WHARF
| paw wasent lookin fer it and went all
over His Best pants and nav she Be
gln TO jaw and Told him he couldn't
afford to Go and room His close jist
TO sho Off.
"Oh Don't make n Fuss about moth
in" paw says. "That won't hurt. You
can take it out with little gas lean.
You Couldn't expect n person what
was all out of practus to Set rite Down
and do this as good as if He was Keep
In at it Every Day. But I'll Be all rite
IN a minute or two"
About that time the COW wanted ia
mock a fly off Her side, so she switched
around and got her tale mixed up with
paws mustash and paw He had tC
spit as Hard as he Could fer quite O
while, and he fergot to milk.
Then he begun agin and His hand
glipt and the Stream Hit nav jist be
low the Ear and run down inside OF
her collier. Nav she yelled and Drop
pew's cuffs, and the pupp thot it wat
the Cows folt so he made a Grab a
her heels and the Cow Slept on paw
foot and the stool with one laig wen
over Backwards and the milk wha
paw happened to Git in the pale rul
under His vest when He was layil
thare with his feet in the air and
Look on his fails what made me Thinl
of the Dying gladdyator In the pick
/, ture.
"Oh. paw" nav hollered. "why wa
/. you sich a fool as to try itI'
"Git away from me-" paw sed whe
nav wanted to help Him to Git M
: IF it haden't of Bin fer you this wouC
; ent of Happened. If you would hav
stayed in the House Where wimmi
Z belong they wouldent Of Been no trul
q ble."
j. BY that Time he was on his feat
the pupp was Lookin up in His fa
= and wagin His tale kind Of pleasaI
and paw Hauld off and Give a kiC
D Mt Him. But the pupp wasont thar
i MAlNA paw = ANNN ANNNNNA-AN- h+-- Ai%NA'
T. and the Straw He was standin an W;
= purity slippery.
u don't know whether the damal
Y TO paws pants or His shoalder Blai'
was the most turrable.
Ennyway he was nodul looSin 81
when we got Him to the House NJ
a nav Had to almost Weap every tin
l. She looked at His pants. He only wO
e them wunst before. So he had to Go
o Bed whilst nav was tryin to Git Il
e milk off and SOW them so the lail
5 would stay together poked my HI
il In the Room WHARF he was laying rec
v in the Bible to pass away the Tin
and Says:
Paw"
WHAT paw asst.
Il Bet l no How you can git rich
les than if YOU Discovered n Gold mine
"HowT he says.
"By Bildin Il Fence around Yours6
le and Chargin folks to Git in Every tiT
H you try to do ennything."
~ ~ l could tell by what he said that
u. was lucky paw Couldent come outsiC
NJ -Georgie. in Chicago Times Herald.