davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
sawdust Graduatcs.

Most of the circus acrobats and not d
few of the rough and tumble come
dians of the stage who have graduated
from the ring were reared and learned
the rudiments of their business in the
lumber towns of the northwest. In the
Cuisines" these are known as saw
dust towns" on account of the saw
mills, which are their chief Industry,
There are many of these in Wisconsin
and Michigan and several in Iowa that
have turned out the bulk of the aero
bats ans' tumhlcrs i'll the business.
In the "sawdust towns" the small
hsys have exceptional facilities for
learning to turn somersaults and hand
springs in the great beds of slw(lust
that surround the mills Soon they be-
gin to try the more difficult fcats they
see done III the shows that visit the
towns. After school hours they tun-
bic until it is time to so home and do
the "chores' From cut of them nj!
there generally rise two or three boys
who get the klack OF the acrobatic
feats. and these work in constant ri
valrN, each trying to excel the other.
One day alon. comes Il circus, and
the best boy tumblcr applies for a job
and shows what hn can do. Perhaps
he is given chance as Il .top mount
err or the top man in Il pyramid act,
because he is light and active. When
he gets older, heavier and stronger,
he may become an "understnndel," or
the man who holds Il mountain of mon
on his shoulders. And thus he gets
to the show business Exchange.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
Turtles Trained to Eirht.

You want to so to China to see ami
NAL fighting reduced to science.
There arc hundreds of young men in
the larger cities there who make Il liv-
Ing by training animals to fight and In
exhibiting their savage qualities to in
tercstcd audiences. They catch both
mud and swapping turtles, feed them
on raw meat and some sort of drug
that warns them up, and at the end of
six months they become savage enough
to fight n tiger. The jaws and teeth
are filed and slndpapered until the
mouth becomes a dangerous thing to
go near. The turtle is tantalized each
day with n piece of wood or a bunch OF
cotton until its temper reaches Il white
heat. When confronted with another
turtle that has been trained and badg-
cred In the same way, they go for each
other with distcndcd jaws, and there is
sure to be a fight to finish.
They have each been starved for n
week. Each is handled by his owner,
who has tcased 1t to the killing point
The two turtles are then placed in u
small ring, and only one comes out
alive. The fight lasts from one to ten
hours, and death generally comes only
when one of them has secured II throat
hold on his doomed antagonist-Cleye-
land Plain Dealer.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
He Bought n Section.

A Pittsburger who has money to
spare had to go east on short notice.
He Is Il man given to exclusiveness,
and he detests travelling in public
conveyance because lie is thrown in
with so many persons of whom he
knows nothing. When he does take a
trip, he takes statcroom wherever he
can get it, or, failing in that, il his
business is urgent, he takes section
In the sleeping car. He had little time
to make arrangements last week, but
his first thought was of stntcroom
He called one of the employees and
hurried him to the ticket Office.
"Gct a stateroom, IL you can," he
snid, "and, If you cannot, get a section.
You know what q section is-two
bcrths"
Eyes, sir" replied the man us he
started off.
He returned soon with the informa-
tion that there wasn't statcroom to
be had on the train.
"5ut got two bcrths for you, SIR"
he said, handing out two tickets.
He nearly lost his job when his en-
ploycr examined the tickets and found
one for upper 5 81 and the other for
supper S."-Pittsburg News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
He Wanted . Drink,

Some years ago Colonel Crisp was in
New York. and being in attendance at
4 certain notable political gathering in
Madison Square Garden was called up.
9n for 2 speech And did he accept7
Well, ratherl Running his fingers
through his hair, adjusting his vest
and pushing up his coat sleeves, he
started ln to sprinkle eagle feathers all
oyer the stage. Now, the colonel is .
stout man and has thirst in propor.
tion. IN the course Of his passionate
harangue be became very warm and
asked that some water be provided. In
compliance with the request diminu-
tive pitcher and dainty little glass were
brought and placed before him.
Colonel Crisp looked at it intently for
A few moments. and then .:What ia
thisy' he thundercd.
:W-w-watcr," tim!dly answered one
Of the vice presidents.
::Young man." beloved the colonel,
his hlllis nostrils quiyering with suppressed
rage. ''either bring me bucket and q
gourd or lead me to the branch kan.
sas City Independent.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
The Army In the Field.

The layman cannot easily realize the
vast amount OF material ns to food and
ammunition demanded by an army in
the field. n few facts and figures as
to this may aid to make it more tangi-
bic. Each man requires, Mt n mimi
mum, three pounds and a half of food
per day. Each animal should have at
least 20 pounds of food in countries
where grazing is not abundant II we
take, for purposes of estimate, only 15
pounds required to supply each animal,
leaving five pounds to be gathered from
the country by grazing and otherwise,
we assume Il quantity that may be con-
sidercd a minimum
An army of 100000 men would re-
qulre about 10000 animals for trans
portation of artillery, camp equipment,
ammunition, food, hospital and med
ical equipment. There should not be
less than 10000 cavalry. There should
not be less than 10000 animals avail
able Mt all times to supply losses. This
makes total of 100000 animals to be
fed. With this us basis we see that
the daily demands would be for the
men 525,O0O pounds and for the horses
1,350OOO pounds, or an aggregate OF
1,S75,O00 pounds. This is equal to
something more than S3G tons per day.
Captain Zalinski in Harper's Weekly.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
Admiralty weak ON Geography.

sTNs-s.e .AsS
During the Bocr war Of 1880 the ad-
miralty was hopelcssly ignorant of the
geography of South Africa.
The admiral in charge OF the fleet at
Cape Town received strict orders that
he was not on any account to lombard
the town Of Potchefstroom. Now, as
Potchefstroom is n good many hun
dred miles from the seacoast and lies
on the Moot river, which is barely 200
yards across and dry for three parts
Of the year, this order was superHu-
GUS.
During the same period the feet was
at Port Elizabeth, and the admiral
headed dispatches to the admiralty
from that seaport. BY the next mail
he again sent dispatches, but happened
to head them Algoa bay.
The admiralty cabled out asking him
what business he had to change the
location Of the fleet without instruc-
tlons. sublimcly ignorant Of the fact
that Port Elizabeth and Algoa bay are
one and the same place.
BY the way, the names Algoa bay
and Delagoa bay are derived from the
outward and homeward voyages of the
old East Indiamen who, on their voy-
ages to Goa, in India, We're wont to
call at Port Elizabeth on the outward
voyage and at Lourenco Marques on
the homeward voyage. Hence the
names Algoa ITO Goa) and Delagoa
lfrom Goa. Stray Stories.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
Tokyo Fire Walkers.

A Yokohama correspondent of the
indianapolis Press, who witnessed the
religious ceremony Of fire walking in
Tokyo. says: "There were present dip
lpmats and professors from the I'm.
Perial college and an Episcopal bishop,
and we think there is sufficient evi.
dence to prove that several japanese
women did walk through the fire. a
iopbting Thomas gathered up some of
the salt in which they rubbed their
feet, both before and after their hot
walk, to take away and analyze. An
other suggested that the bamboo pole
that was used to make the path was
hollow and may have contained sub
stance that sifted out us 1t was drawn
backward and forward that destroyed
the heat. The little 'amak' Of my
friend. when asked why the feet were
not burned, replied. Much pray, much
pray We have stated facts. The in
depreciation must come from those
vcrsed in the occult sciences"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
The Finger Nails.

In days when superstition was more
prevalent than it is now the shape and
appearance of the finger nails were
considered to have reference to ones
destiny. To learn the message of the
finger nails it was necessary to rub
them over with compound of wax
and SCOT and then to hold them so that
the sunlight fell fully on them. Then
on the horny, Transparent substances
certain signs and characters We're sup
posed to appear, from which the future
could be interpreted. Persons, too,
having certain kinds of nails were cred
ltcd with the possession of certain
characteristics. Thus Il man with red
and spotted nails was supposed to
have hot temper, Willie pale, lead col
ored nails We're considered to denote a
melancholy temperament. Narrow nails
We're supposed to betray ambition and
n quarrelsomc nature, while round
shaped mills were the distinguishing
marks Of lovers of knowledge and peo-
pie OF liberal sentiment. Conceited,
narrow minded and obstinate folk were
supposed to have small nails, indolcnt
people fleshy nails and those of a gen
tie, retiring nature broad nails.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
The sultan. BarDarou. cap,t.,.

European ladies' constantly run away
with the idea that Constantinople is a
civilized town and act accordingly.
Then they are astonished when some
thing disagrceable happens, and con
tinually one hears of ladies being hus-
tied, pinched or kissed by Turkish sol
diers. 1t must be remembered that the
soldiers are recruited from the widest
tribes In Asia Minor, where woman is
considered an inferior creature, who
must give way to man, besides being
trained to avoid him on all possible oc-
casions.,
One can easily imagine that such a
soldier is astonished to see a European
lady unveiled. boldly expecting him to
give way to her or at any rate not
avoiding him, and he naturally takes IT
to be an advance on her part. Ladies
have often told me they have been
pushed by soldiers into the gutter, and
! have nearly always found that 1t is
simply as have explained, that nei-
ther makes way for the other, with the
result that the lady, being the weaker,
comes to grlef.-London Telegraph.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
Tree. ana Landowners. In England;

BY the general laws of England oak
ash and elm are climber" il Not youn-
ger than 20 years, or SO old that a good
post cannot be cut from them. What
constitutes climber" varies slightly ac-
cording to locality, but when a tree Is
proved to be climber" person who
has only u life interest In the land it
grows upon cannot cut it down unless
1t be OH an estate cultivated solely for
the production of salablc timber" or
unless he hasaspecial agreement giving
him power to do so. A mere life ten
ant may not even cut down trees which
are not "timber," but which would at
the age of 20 years attain that dignity.
Botanists differ as to the poisonous
nature of New trees There are many
Instances both of their poisonous and
their harmless effect when browsed by
horses and cattle, but the partially
dried clippings of yew are certainly
most dangerous. III Il yew tree over
hangs 4 neighbor's land and his horses
cat the yew without trcspassing, the
owner of the tree Is liable to pay for
any injury the horses may sustain. On
the other hand, if the horses or cattle
cannot browse on the tree without put
ting their heads over the fence the
owner of tho horses must bear the loss.
Tor his animals have trcspassed.--Lo Lon
don Answers.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
The Arnh.. I.ittI. c.,,,. :.

In The Agricultural Journal of the
Cape of Good Hope appears an article
on the vitality OF wheat from Egyptian
mummy cases. II is often asserted that
samples of wheat from the same crop
as that which Joseph stored in Pha-
raoh's granaries has been taken from
mummy wrappings and, when planted,
has grown. This is very likely crro-
ncous, as the Arabs have n habit of
selling to tourists samples of grain
which have in all likelihood come from
the nearest field instead of from the
ancient tombs. Indeed in many in
stances this mummy grain" has been
corn, and, as corn was not known until
1T was brought from America, the
fraud is apparent.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
THE cRIMEAN WAR.
1t Was Started In Controversy
Over IL Door ISey

1t Was Started In Controversy
Over IL Door ley.
AS an Instance of what great events
can follow trivial happenings the
genesis of the Crimean war is inter
esting.
In 1851 Louis Napoleon demanded of
the sultan that the Latin monks should
have a key to the great door of the
church at Bethlehem; that they should
have Il key to each of the doors of the
Cave to the Nativity and the privilege
of setting UP there a silver star bear.
ing the arms of France
After n year of ar1uous negotiation
the Turkish government yielded, and
in February, 1858, the keys were hand
ed over to the Latin monks, and the
silver star was established in the sane.
tuary of Bethlehem
Unfortunately Emperor Nicholas, as
head of the Greek church, considered
this an infringement of his rights and
Immediately ordered 100000 men
across the Turkish frontier. At the
same time he demanded that the
claims of the Christian population of
Turkey should he secured by treaty
with himself, but the sultan refused
this, with the support of France, Aus
tria and Prussia.
The car then proceeded to seize the
Danubian provinces, proclaiming at the
same time that lie had mo intention
to commence war"
The central European countries at
tempted to secure a compromise, but
neither party would agree to their
mediation, and in October the sultan
declared war.
England and France Joined him, and
so from such slight beginnings sprang
the most mcrciless, bloody and fruit
less struggle of the nineteenth cen
tury.-New York journal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
He Was very Accommodating.

Apropos CT the ready comprehension
and native wit attributed to the sons
OF Erin. Patrick's compliance with the
caslomer's wish stands out in bold APP
position. Patrick was u clerk in n sub
urban grocery store. 1t was busy
season and the grocer was waiting up
on two or three customers at the same
time. He was In n hurry, and every
thing had to be where he could get It
without much trouble or he would be
delayed and probably lose money, SO
when he found that the pound weight
was gone he was bothered.
Patrick" he called out, "where's the
pound weight?"
"The pound weight, is it?" said Pat
rick complacently. "Sure, an it's Mis-
ther Jones has the pound weight"
"Mr. Jones has it? What do you mean
by saying that Mr.. Jones has the pound
weight? l thought the pound weight
said In the store. How did Mr.. Jones
get it?"
IAN shure, didn't yez tell me to be
perlite to the rigular customers?"
"Of course"
"Weli, thin. Misthcr Jones comes into
the store for a pound Of tay. An, says
he. whin ! asked him what quality Of
tay he would have, WHATEVER yez give
me- says he. give me the weight So
put the pound weight in the package
with the thy, perlite like, an It's him
self that's gone with Chicago
Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
cenplete E1ti.s.i.Anent.

Rupert-It was q strange case! He
left the club one night to go to the
epera and was never seen or heard Of
afterward.
Harold-Disappeared as completely
AZ Il the earth had opened and swal.
lowed him up, eh?
Rupert-More SO, IL possible. IN that
case he might have left his hat above
ground or there might have been q
crack left to show where he disap-
peared. but this fellow, mind you, dis
appeared as completely as II he had
married an authoress:-Puek.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
Unchanged.

The lapse of years makes quite q
difference in things, and Rip Van Win
kle was not to blame for feeling out of
place after his long nap.
Everything is new," he murmured
pitifully, the while n tear pushed man
fully away at his eyelid. Nothing is
like 1t used to be. Oh, for the sight of
something familiar!"
Wandering into store, he carclcssly
picked up comic paper, more to hide
his emotion than anything else. Sud
denly he gave u cry Of exceeding great
joy.
''The same old jokcsw lie sobbed joy
fully. Thc same old jokes" s!"-Kansas
City independent.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
SUITS OF ARMoR.
The Inst Battle In which rhcy We're
Worn by European Soldiers.

worn Oy european SOluieyN.
The last occasion, it is believed, on
which suits of armor were worn in bat
tic by European soldiers was in 1900.
The incident, according to chroniclers
OF the Napoleonic wars, took place in
that year, when II small French force
was holding the little fort mt Aquilla
IN the Abruzzi against rising of the
hostile pcasantl'y of the district.
The French We're not strong enough
to fight their way through the lines Of
their opponents, who outnumbered
them 20 to I, while, as the latter had
no guns, the Frcncllmen could hold
their position with confidence.
There were, however, left on the
space lying between the opposing
forces some dozen or so guns which the
belcaguered had not been able to take
with them into the fort.
An attempt was made by the besleg-
ers to remove these guns by means of
long rope worked by capstan plac-
cd In house a short distance away.
and, though their first endcavors re-
suited i'll failure, the French realized
that the ultimate capture of the ord
nance would seriously jcopardize the
chances of the fort holding out.
The necessity of spiking the guns
was apparent, but IL sortic in the face
of the Overwhelming musketrv fire of
the insurgents was out of the question.
At this juncture an idea occurred TO an
artillery officer. He remembered hav-
ing noticed, in making an inspection of
the magazine, some old plate armor,
and, selecting from the best preserved
II suits, he determined to try whether
they would not afford sufficient protcc-
tion for his men to attempt to work un-
der cover of their own guns.
Twelve stalwarts, therefore, marched
out clad in this cumbrous, unaccustom-
cd accoutcrment, taking with them the
necessary tools, and succeeded in exc
cutting their purpose under hail of
bullets from the bcsiegers.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
rrnil Hi.torinn. Of scvrc..

Only ~ miles southwest Of Paris,
Sevres is we'll known to tourists. Beau
tiful porcelain has been manufactured
here since 175G, the royalties and re-
publics which followed each other TAX
ing pains to have each period stamped
on the back of every piece made. Ini-
tials Of kings, the date aud often the
palace for Which the service was de-
signed We're placed plainly on the plate
Thus in this silent but most eloquent
way these frail historians indicate the
changeful, brilliant story of their na-
tive land.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
A Spree on sixpencc.

An excellent scotchman had for 81
years brought home his full wages
every week, says the Newcastle (Eng-
land) Chronicle. Once at the end of the
period he gave his wife sixpence less
than the full amount. This SO distress
ed the thrifty woman that she went to
consult the mccnistcr on the subject.
He tried to comfort her by saying that
sixpcnce in 81 years was not large
amount.
Its na the money am thinking Of"
she replied, but am fearing that Mac
has been taking to drink and betting.
maybe. and other worldly pleasures"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
Sheridan. wit.

Richard Brinslcy Sheridan was one
day dining with Lord Thurlow when
his lordshlp produced some fine Con-
stantia which had been sent him from
the Cape Of Good Hope. Sheridan,
who saw the bottle emptied with un.
common regret, set his wits to work
to get another.
Failing in his attempt, however, he
turned toward gentleman seated
farther down and said, "Sir, pass me
up that decanter, for must return to
Madeira since I cannot double the
Cape" Francisco Argonaut.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
A rlatt.rlng Endorsement,

Father Ito son who has recently en-
tered the practice of law)-Well, my
boy, are you making any headway in
your profession?
Son-Am I? Well. I think have a
right to consider myself an adept now.
Father-Indecd! What experience
have you had to justify that conf
dence?
Son-A man called me liar today,
and he was pretty good Judge too.-
Boston Courier.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
\ Great Truth.

II wouldn't do your kind Of work
even II could" said Rubberfoot Bill,
the sandbagger. '"This here thing Of
gettin a mans confidence an then
throwin him down is too low for me-"
1T amt me they have the confidence.
in," explain ID Greengoods George. "It
Is theirselvcs they are SO sure Of. SeeY
indianapolis Journal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
Accommodating Diseases.

Perhaps the record for school attend
ance belongs to n Walworth lad named
Thomas Ward, who was never absent
or late during his IL years Of school
life, beginning with his fourth year,
The local member Of the school board
for London tells the story that when
the proud boy received the attendance
medal for the eleventh year. which
had to be specially struck to meet his
case, the mother was questioned as to
how her boy had been able to make
SO remarkable a record.
"1Ias he had the usual children's
complaints" she was asked.
"Yes, sil..'' "a.
"rhe mcaslcs!" ,.;,. ysiad5,,,
Eyes, sir.' sNagzf
"Whooping cough?" ! a., a..-
''Yes, SIR"
"How is it. then, that he has never
been away from schoolY
"Wcll. sir, he had them in his holi-
days." was the interesting reply
Westminster Gazette.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
she Wa. Willins.

Young Binkins- you give me
your answer, Miss Ethel. want to tell
you that haven't penny can call
my own, but my father Is quite
wealthy. and only yesterday he said
our home was sadly in need Of wo.
mans guiding hand.
Miss Ethel-Well, you might mention
to your father that would not be
averse to accepting position as moth
er'to his only Chicago News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
In Size.

Willie Good-Pa, our teacher says
that "colleet" and "congregate" mean
the same thing.
Rev. Good-Well, youstell your teach
er that you have information that
there Is considerable difference be-
tween congregation and a collection.
Baltimore American.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
Proved His Case.

Miss Willing (after the proposaD-
But are you quite sure you believe in
second love?
Mr.. Woodby "a widowcr) Certainly,
my dear. Now suppose man buys a
pound Of sugar; 1t is sweet, isn't 1t?
Miss Willing Yes, of course. But
Mr.. Woodby-And when that's gone
he naturally wants another pound
and the second pound Is just us sweet,
isn't it2-Chicago News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
Hard Woods In Paraguay.

Quebracho is one of the profitable
woods in Paraguay. 1t yields an cx-
tract used for tanning leather. The
forests Of Paraguay are full Of 1t. The
export Of quebracho Is very considera-
bic, going principally to Europe, though
much is sent to the United States as q
product Of the Argentine Republic, be-
Ing shipped via that country.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-07-05
The real Puuzle of Life.

Fidelia-Flavilla, doesn't the great
mystery of our being fill you with awe
and wonder?
Flayilla-Well, to tell you the honest
truth. Fidelia, what to wear bothers
me moro than anything .else.-Indian-
hpolis Journal.