davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
EREN BREWER,

('Eben Brewer. the first United States
postmaster in Cuba, was a hero and a
Hear the story OF Eben Brewer,
Never a Drawer soul and truer
In the plunge of the shot and shell!
Never a nobler mercy
When Santiago fell!
Not against the proud Castilian
Went this citizen-civilian
With the dreams of conqueror:
He was simply man of the million
Caught in the net Of war;
To and fro from grim Baiquiri,
Over the treacherous trail and dreary,
Bearing news from the motherland,
Tolled he, gallant and stanch and CHEEKY.
Lending lifting hand.
Holding the tropic heat trife
where the troopers strain and stihe.
In the rush Of the forward track,
Out of the range Of the deadly rifle
Bore he the wounded back.
Then, while the weary soldiers slumbered
He, where the crowding cots were cum
Ceaseless, followed his high behest;
And through the days and nights he num-
bered
Never an nOur OF rest.
II 1t strange that the mortal reaver
Swiftly swept him-the fatal fever
Out of his self-forgetful part?
To the breast Of the Great Receiver
fastened his hero heart
Such as he, with no thought of BOOTY.
Draining the stirrup-cup of duty,
Though the dregs be as bitter gall.
Halo their lives with a veil Of beauty:
Let US honor them all!
Clinton Scotland, in Youths COMPANION
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Seeing by Wire.

Nearly two years ago it was an
nounced with some sensation in most of
the daily newspapers that certain
Jan szczepanik had invented an appa-
ratus for seeing by wire, much in the
same way as one can hear by wire
through the medium of telephone.
The publication of his patent, in due
course, however, revealed nothing more
than the old selenium cell idea of ply
sicians in a dress of no very startling
novelty, and it was fair to surmise that
Szczepanik was no different from the
many working at this enticing problem,
except in so far as he had been indis-
Greet enough to make a premature an
nouncement of success.-London Elec-
tricity.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
PUNCENT PARAGRAPHS.

Mistress-"Have you washed tue
ffsh?" Bridget-"Shure, mum, an
what's tn use? Isn't it. right out av
tn water, ?"-Ohio State journal.
Teacher-"What happens when q
mans temperature goes down as far as
it can go?" Smart Scholar-"He has
cold feet, ma'am." Christian Register.
"Say, I never heard two men hold
such exactly opposite views on the same
point. Who are they?" professional
medical experts" - Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
singleton-'Do you agree with the
doctors who consider kissing danger
ous?" Benedict-"Oh, yes" Singleton
what dread effect do you think is
likely to arise from it?" Benedict
Marriage. "-Pearson's
Harduppe-"You advertise that you
buy books. What'll you give me for
this one" Dealer-'We don't want
anything less than whole library"
Harduppe-'Well; this is my whole Ii
brary.'' '-Philadelphia Press.
Professor-"Mr. Drone, I am aston
ished that you cannot remember any of
the quotations called for in to-day's
lesson. Can you recollect any quotation
of any kind?" Student-''Yes, sir.
ANY fool can ask questions.' "-Boston
Transcript.
Seeker-''That's quite fine horse
you've been buying. What have you
named him?" Sageman-"Great Bar
gain" Seeker-"Ah! Great Bargain.
eh? Then it was another of your shrezvd
investments?" Sageman-"Oh, that
had nothing to do with the name. I
call him Great Bargain because my wife
can drive m."-Boston Courier.
This conversation took place at the
public library: "Can you tell me where
the genealogical room is?" asked the
pleasant-faced old woman of the polite
colored attendant. Pathological room,
ma'am? Vas, ma'am. The gin'ral room
is up one flight, ma'am, and the logical
room is up two flights, ma'am. Vas,
NATURALIZATION Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Saturn'S Satellite.

The latest discovery in the southern
hemisphere is the satellite of Saturn.
discovered at Harvard from the exam
ination of Photographic plates taken
at Arequipa, and only made known to
astronomers a few months since, On
three photographs of Saturn taken in
August, 1898, Prof. w. H. Pickering
detected faint point of the fifteenth
magnitude, which had relative motion
among the neighboring stars. Further
examination showed that this tinv
point, which no mortal eye has ever vet
beheld, must be satellite of Saturn:
and study of all the photographs now
available shows that the body revolves
about Saturn in about II months. at a
distance of 1000, 900 miles.-T. ], J. See.
in Atlantic.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Too Obliging.

The ameerof Afghanistan must sure
~ be very obliging man, if a story told
of him be true. Not many years ago
a queens messenger, or some other Of
fetal, was on his way to Cabul, when
he had the misfortune to be robbed.
He was in NO way injured by the rob-
bers, but the British government pre-
ferred complaint, which came duly
to the knowledge of the ameer. NJ
reply was received, and the months
passed. At last the ameer wrote, an!
his letter showed the earnestness of
his desire to oblige the queen. "The
matter you MENTION" said the letter.
'has been thoroughly investigated, and
not only have the robbers of your mes
senger been put to death, but all their
children, as we'll as their fathers and
grandfathers. I hope this will give
satisfaction to her majesty the queen"
Nevertheless, it is doubtful if it did,
Youths Companion.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
An Egyptian Flower sho-

Under the patronage of the khedive
of Egypt, who is rare lover of garden.
ing, an exhibition is to take place at
Ghezireh, Cairo, on March 20 and 81
and April i, 1900, at which Americans
are especially invited to be competitors.
A programme in very good English has
been prepared, which may be had by
addressing w. Wilfred Carey, secretary.
Kasr-el-Doubara, Cairo, Egypt. Carna-
tons, lilies, pansies, phlox, stocks, vio-
lets, roses and "any good thing not
specified" are among the special arti-
cles to be exhibited by florists, for
which silver medals and sums of money
are ofered.-N. Y. Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

A great building to house all the So
cieties composing the Scientific alli-
ance of New York is proposed.
The two great material conquests
which mark the nineteenth century are
the building of the Pacific railroads and
the digging Of the Suez canal.
A medical paper directs attention to
the curious fact that scarlet fever has
never been observed in epidemic form
in the tropical or subtropical regions of
Asia or Africa.
In GAINESVILLE, Wis.,, is a pearl button
factory which turns out thousands of
the finest quality of buttons. Tons of
Mississippi clam shells are used in pro-
ducing the buttons.
1t appears from British consular re-
ports that Morocco offers consider
able field for the engineer. There are
at present no roads, railways, tele-
graphs, canals nor harbors.
India has perhaps a greater variety of
plants than any other country in the
world, having $4,000 native species,
| while the flora of the entire continent
of Europe only embraces about 1000.
American bottles are preferred to all
others for the export trade, and espe-
cially in warm climates where Ameri-
can and English goods come into close
competition. American glass is said
to stand tropical climates better than
the English, the reason being that it is
| better annealed.
The South Kensington museum is
constantly adding to the collection of
scientific instruments and models of
old-fashioned machines. We learn from
Industries and Iron that they have now
made large number of additions of
modern machinery and tools, such as a
coal gas purifying house, Belleville
boiler, launch engine, water-tube
boilers using liquid fuel, a transform
er, steam turbine, etc. Many of the ma
chine models are shown in motion.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
MONUMENT TO INDIANS
Erected In Cemetery at StockbridEe,
Mass, Where Many Are
Buried.

A new Indian monument has recently
been erected in the cemetery at Stock
bridge, Mass, where many Indians con-
nected with the old Congregational
church and with the town affairs, are
buried. This is the inscription upon
it: I'm memory of Good. Capt. Konka-
pot, Peter Pau-Quau-nau-peet,a and many
of the Housatonic Indians, 1734-1900."
Konkapot was one of the three distin-
guished sachems of the Stockbridge In
dams who signed the treaty made under
the superintendence of Sir WilliamJ ohm
son, his majesty's superintendent of In
dian affairs in America at Fort STAN
wix, now Rome, N. Y, on September 30,
1868. By this compact all title to lands
lying east of the Hudson river, Wood
creek and Lake Champlain as far north
as Otter creek, excepting some land al
ready sold to the Mohawks, was re-
leased to the Stockbridge Indians. The
| aboriginal surnames of those who
| signed the contract were beside Konka-
| pot, Naunaumphtanuc and Unhaunaun-
walnut.
Konkapot was the leading Indian of
the Stockbridge tribe. His cabin stood
on knoll on the east side of the road,
few rods from the brook which still
bears his name. He received the COM
mission as captain from Gov. Belcher,
and it was his desire to be instructed in
Christianity, which led to the establish
ment of the famous Indian mission.
His wife and daughter were members of
the church organized by John Sergeant,
the missionary to the Indians, to whose
work the mission chimes given to Stock
bridge by David Dudley Field are me-
mortal, Mr.. Fields grandchildren being
lineal descendants of Sergeant. Fifty
two Indians united with the Congrega-
tional church between the years 1874
and 1889, the last to join being Capt.
Yokun. When the first sacramental
supper was celebrated in Stockbridge
June 4, 1898, the Indians and Americans
Partook OF the communion together, it
being, so far as known, the first occasion
when such an event occurred.
Peter Pauquaunaupeet, the other In
dian whose name appears on the new
monument, was a famous character.
and familiarly known as 'Sir Peter.''
He was deacon in the congregational
church with Timothy Woodbrid pc from
1888 to ITO, during the pastorates of
Rev. John Sergeant, Rev. Jonathan Ed
wards and Rev. Stephen West. "sir
Peter" was a man of great intellectual
ability and graduate of Hanover COL
lege, New Hampshire. He, together
with Konkapot, Quanaukaunt and Au-
taumut governed the tribe of Stock
bridge Indians for many years.
The stockbridge people are much in
terested even now in the history and
traditions connected with the tribe of
Stockbridge Indians. It would seem
that from the time John Sergeant came
among them, in 1874, they progressed
more rapidly toward civilization than
any other tribe in the country. They
were industrious farmers, frugal and
temperate, and examples to their white
brethren in piety. The members of the
Field family were deeply interested in
Ithem.-N. Y. Times.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Her Point of View.

"Darling,' exclaimed the happy hus'
band, otter the minister had pro.
nounced them one, II am not worthy OF
your love-
"Of course you're not" she replied.
"but at my age girl can't afford to let
even an opportunity like this 60 BY
Chicago Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Coins Five for q Cent.

The smallest coin now current in Eu-
rope; and at one time having the least
value, is the Greek lepton. The lepton
is, according to the decimal monetary
system, current in all countries belong
ing to the Latin union. Some idea of
this valueless little disc may be gath
cred from the fact that the lepton is the
one-hundredth part of drachma. The
Greek drachma usually passes for the
same value that franc piece does, that
is, it is about equal to about 20 cents of
our money.-Boston Globe.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Prejudiced Axainst 1t.

Friend-Pat, what do you think Of
this new-fangled ''absent treatment"
that we hear so much about nowa-
days?
Pat-Begorry; OF don't think much
OF it, Oh was absint only one night
recently and the tratement Oh re.
ceived from the wolfe of me buzzum
upon me return was discredit to the
family. 1t cured me all roight, but Oi
Cont care fer no more absint trate-
ment in moine, tank YEN. Y.
World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Trying to Please Employer.

Mistress-I am surprised. You say
you were married six months ago, d.
vorced three months ago, and remar-
ried to your husband last night.
Domestic-Yes'm. You see, at the
6rst place he had they wanted a mar
ried man, so we got married; but the
next place they wanted a single man,
so we got divorced, and I came here.
Now he's found place where they
want man for gardening and wife to
cook, so we got married again, and I'm
going there with HMM. Y, Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
PICKPOCKETS' GAINS.
According to This Account 1t II q
Fairly Remunerative Calling
In the Aggregate.

The amount of money which pick
pockets take in annually is probably
greater than that of any other special
lists in crime. It would be idle to say
how large it is, but it is a well-known
fact that thousands of dollars are stolen
by them at big public gatherings to
which they have access. 1t was report
ed, for instance, that at the recent con.
federate soldiers reunion i'm the south
100000 was stolen by pickpockets, and
almost every day in the year one reads
in the newspapers of a big ''touch"
reaching into the thousands. I think
it is a conservative staement to say
that in lifetime the expert pickpocket
steals $4,000. Multiply this figure by
1900, which have given as the number
of frst-class grafters in the country
and the result reaches high up into
the millions. Like other professional
thieves, the pickpocket throws away
his money like water and very seldom
thinks of saving for old age, but prac-
tically all successful mobs have ''fall
money" ian expense fund for paying
lawyers, etc., when they get arrested)
of from $4,000 to $4,000 each carefully
banked, and know of one pickpocket
who is the owner of some very valuable
real estate. A good illustration of the
rapidity with which they recoup them
selves financially after period of rest
or a term in prison is the story told
about one of them who returned to this
country penniless after pleasure trip
to Europe. The man related the in
cident to friend of mine. "Didn't
have red, he said. II tackled saloon
keeper knew for a couple of thousand.
How long do you think I was paying
him back? Three weeks
If the pickpocket knew how to save
his money and could invest it well his
children might some day be our mil
lionaires.-Isaiah Flynt, in Independ-
ent.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Putting Him Next.

Bunco Steerer-Ah! isn't this my
old friend, Joshua Squanch, of K,'-
hack?
Farmer Hornbeak-Wa-al, no; not
exactly. But all the same, young
man, you've struck a good thing in
me if you jest work it up right
Puck.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
A Clever Professor

Mr.. Johnson-Dat phrenologist am
. very clevah fellow! He told me dat
nah bump OBJ honesty was de biggest
he evan saw!
Mrs. Johnson-Yes; and den he hit de
silvah dollah yo' glib him to see if it
was q good one!-Puck.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Evil AsaOciatiOna.

II understand" said Mrs. Kostique,
shat you have been seen promenading
with my husband; is that true?" The
governess drew herself up defiantly.
''Yes, it.. is" she replied. ''Well, Miss
Primer" the other continued, calmly,
IF you wish to remain here you'll have
to keep better company."-Catholic
Standard and Times.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
SOUTH AFRICA'S PLAQUES.
At BuluvayO Boots DevOured by
Ants-Ravages Of the
Rinderpest.

South Africa imports hides, wool and
mohair, and the ranchmen would revel
in riches were it not for the various
pests that decimate his flocks and
herds. The most deadly one is the
rinderpest, a cattle plaugle which in the
last ten years has been slowly creeping
from Cen trail Africa southwark, leaving
wake of whitened bones. In travelling
through Natal saw so oxen lying dead
about spring where they had tum-
bled one over the other, so suddenly
had the disease attacked them. It was
almost impossible then to get an I'M
tinged piece of steak at restaurant,
though the proprietor resented any
such charge, and plethoric German
traveller who called in loud tone for
''roast rinderpest'' in the railroad cafe
at De Aar Junction, Cape Colony, had
to be picked up in fragments. DR.. Koch
and other eminent specialists tried in
vain to stop this plague. The country is
now recovering from it slowly.
Another pest is the tsetse fly, an in
sect resembling our common house fly,
OuV IAA &C lAAACo 0S AoASCs 1lS O1Ic Will
kill a horse, cow or any other domestic
animal in about ten days, but, strange
to say, does not affect a wild animal
or human being. A less dangerous
but more troublesome pest is the white
ant, which is about one-quarter of an
inch long and ubiquitous in many parts
of the country. They live under the
ground, and can only be routed by kill
ing the queen, which sometimes reaches
the size of one inch in length. This in
sect is particularly harassing in Rho
desia. At Buluwayo my-traveling COM
panion inadvertently left his boots on
the floor after turning in at night, and
he arose next morning to find the up
pers carefully separated from the soles.
Lucky you didn't leave your clothes
on the floor" was the hotel keepers
only consolation. These ants will eat
through anything but metal, and for
that reason much of the building is
done with corrugated iron. The ant hill
is one of the conspicuous landmarks in
travelling over South Africa.-Ainslee's
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Hereditary Garments,

Tommy-Pop, what is the meaning
Of ''hereditary?'
Tommy's Father-Anything that de-
sends from father to son.
Tommy-Then your old clothes that
ma makes over for me are hereditary,
amt they?-Philadelphia Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
And GEORGE Said eyes,

Maud (earnestly)-I want to ask you
a question, George.
George (also earnestly)-What is it,
dearest?
Maud (still earnestly)-1f you had
never met me, would you have loved
me just the same?-N. Y. Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Not Hunting Trouble,

Popleigh-Say, old man, come up to
the house tonight; we are going to
have little time-going to name the
baby. My mother-in-law and baby's
uncles and aunts are going to be there.
wish you would come.
Benthere-You must excuse me, Pop.
leigh; never mix in family quarrels.-
Pnck
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
PaDer for :JOkerS

Mr.. Funniman-I see kind of paper
is now being made from seaweed which
is transparent.
Mrs. Funniman-Why don't you get
some of it to write your jokes on, so
that people could see through them?-
Yonkers Statesman.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
How to BE Beautiful.

"You advertised, I believe, that you
would tell women how to be beautiful"
II did"
swell, I'd like to know how
"Certainly, certainly. Two dollars
Thank you. The surest way is to be
born beautiful. Call again some time"
IN. Y. World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
His Warm RetOrt.

Several women entered the car to.
gether.
"Get up," said the fat man to the
thin man, "and give a lady your seat"
Fat men always think they are priv.
ileged to remain seated.
''Get up YOURSELF" retorted the thin
man, "and give two ladies your seat"
Chicago Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Good Noae for News.

"Henry," whispered the maiden, in
some embarrassment, as they stood in
the hallway, where the young and
handsome reporter was preparing to
say goodnight. cts dreadful of me,
I know, but I've been eating onions"
"Great Scott, Fannie!" he ex-
claimed. "You don't think that's q
scoop on me, do you? I knew that
as soon as I came in."-Chicago Tri.
bune
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Significance of the Cypress

The cypress, which is regarded by uf
as an emblem of mourning and death.
has been from ancient times associated
with births, marriages and rejoicing.
in the east. In the Grecian archipelago
when daughter was born . grove Of
cypress trees was planted by her father
as her future portion, q dowry which
increased with the years.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
1t Would Seem So.

Its long lane that has no turn.
ing" remarked the man who owns q
book of popular quotations.
"Now should Think" said the other
fellow, ''that long lane would be more
likely to have turnings than short
one."-N. Y. Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
A Heroic Remedy,

DR.. Squills-How did you cure that
man of fits?
DR.. Pills-1 had nothing to do with
the cure. He moved into fiat, and now
he hasn't room to have q fit.-N. Y.
Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Plenty Of Lions ut Chicaxo.

There il man in Connecticut who is
building an ark and preaching that the
world il soon to be visited by another
flood. When he gets ready to purchase
his supply Of lions, says the Chicago
Times-Herald, he will find the stock at
the Lincoln park zoo both elegant and
complete"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
DrOD.LetteF0.

Some drop their his and some their g's.
But few until forced will drop their e's.
You drop an "O!" when you meet surprise.
And when embarrassed may drop your Is.
When you are stung you will drop b,
And possibly with it great big d.
But with one drop-letter, oh, never fail!
The letter your wife gives you to mail.
-T,,6na
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
LiRhf,

Mrs. Crowley-My husband always
tries to make light of things.
Mrs. Ainsley-And yet it is common
gossip that he manages to keep you in
the dark.-Chicago Times-Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
A Glorious Example.

A Glorious Example.
All, he was poor and friendless when
He bravely started out;
But we'll he won his way with me,
And died, at last, of govt.
Chicago Times-Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Would Talk Too Much.

Yeast-Won't you and your wife join
our Whist club?
.Crimsonbeak-No; the doctor says
must keep my wife as quiet as possible.
-Yonkers Statesman.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Che ouI uo-ar~o

"Do you KNOW" he said, that every
time I look at you have thoughts Of
revenge?"
"Why?". she gasped.
Because" he answered, revenge is
sweet"
Then she told him she thought to-
morrow would be as good time as any
to see papa.-Chicago Times-Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
An Inquiry.

IT'S on warmth, so we are told,
That friendship oft depends;
Why is it, then, though cash Is cold,
It has so many friends?
Chicago Daily News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
A 90Npaf

Did you rise high, oh man Of note,
Because of your superior might?
NAY, nay" Quoth he, Il simply float
Because I am so very light"
Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Alackl AlaSl

AS they skated they looked at the starr
There were a million or more;
Their heels flew up-and they observed
A few they'd not seen before.
CHICAGO Daily NWS