Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1900-09-07


did YOU attend the bail game yester-
II was there for Il wnile." Did
you enjoy ity "Knot holey."
Why did the police let rliat scorcher
go:' "He proved that he was taking
u brick of ice cream home to his Wife"
Chicago Record.
Isn't it delightful to be dining to-
gcthcr without Il chapcron:" II should
say so! Marriage is certainly IL great
economy."-Puck.
Cora-EIow do you know that is q
bargain-counter batllHg-suit she is
wearing: Mecritt-By the way it is cut
DOWNTOWN Topics.
Passing boasts: Gotham maid-We
have the la~t-dresscd man. Chicago
mail-Oh, well, we have the bcst-dress-
ed beef.-Chicago News.
Mrs. Winterbloom-Did you find the
mountain mir Intoxicating! Jagway-
Very; l didn't draw a sober breath
while l was there.-Detroit Free Press.
My wife," he said, proudly. has
been known rs the queen of hearts,"
w 0OupSs tlSS HilSnCASut ~ u
cause She took the knavc.'-Chicago
Post.
He-Your left arm is wonderfully de-
veloped. Miss Allstyle. DO you go in
for athletics! She-Oh. not at all. That
is the arm lift my skirt with.-Chicago
lew.
Artist-You don't seem pleased with
your portrait SIS IL summer girl. Sum-
mcr girl-No; you've made my shirt
waist stripes run the wrong way.-In-
dilnapoiis Journal.
shall l sing Because l Love You'?"
asked Mrs. barley. as she seated her.
self at the piano. NO." replied Mr..
barley, who is Il brute; If you love me,
don't sing.'-Tit-Bits.
.Flossy is so superstitious." "She is?"
"Ycs; when she wears her death's-head
hatpin she always wears her horseshoe
scarf-pin and her wish-bone hair orna-
ment."-Indianapolis Journal.
Little Elmcr-Papa, What is n poli-
tician? Prof. ~Broadhcad-A politician,
my son, is Il man who hungers and
thirsts to sacrifice himself for his coun-
try in times Of peace.-Puck.
Magistrate-You are charged with
talking back TO al officer, sir; have you
anything to say? prisonel-Dayvil n
wurd, yer lonor-Oi've sed too 1aooch
alreddy.-Ohio state Journal.
Jess-ls she really so aw-fully home
~! Tess-Well, l should say. The girls
V-hn rp,i,,0tn. y-iti, l,ny, N,na,ltp't Cl.
low Ler to figure in the composite pho
tosraph OF the class.-philalefphia
Press.
Wife-You q go to the club tonight
if you feel like it. dear. IIusbandE1 do
feel like it, but l shan't go. Wlfc-Why
not? Observation-Disclosures l intend to
have my own way for once.-Flicgende
Blaetter.
What did Freddy say when you
caught him coming out of the pantry
With his hands stained red?" "He told
the truth by saying that he had TANNED
his Observation-Disclosures Evening
Bulletin.
His daily duty: and they say you
drove the rich man to driEky Yes,
sir. but l couldn't help it," Couldn't
help it! What do you mcany' HE
| made me, sir. WAS his coachman."-
Harlem Life.
The Palmist-This line in yoelr hand
indicates that you have Il very brilliant
future ahead of you- Simkins-ls
that so? The Phlmist-Ycs, but this
| other line Indicates that you are too
slow to ever catch up with it.-Chicago
News.
Retort courteous: II see the villain
! IN your face" said the grutf lawyer
who was trying to intimidate n witness.
Very likely" was the calm reply; the
!; face of Il bright person, like II mirror.
is apt to cast personal reflactioLs."-
Chicago News.
Tcacher-5ohn, what are yo,:r boots
made of? Boy-Of leather. Teacher
J Where does the leather come from?
Boy-From the hide of the on Teacher
What animal, therefore. supplies you
!. with boots and gives you meat to eat?
Boy-My father .-Tit-Bits.
Violet record: Mr.. Inwit starting for
business)-l have 10 stop OH my way
to the Office to get Il ribbon. Mrs. Inwit
For whom, pray: MI. lnwit-For my
typewriter. Mrs. Inwit-I'd just like 10
see you buying ribbons for any type
writer!-New York Herald.
His expectations: what do you pro.
pose to do in connection with the com.
ing campaign" ''You know the old
saying, money talks" rejoined Sena.
tor Sorghum. 'Yes." well. l sup.
pose I'll be called on for n few speeches,
US usual."-Washington Star.
A slight inaccuracy: 'aIamma,' said
the little girl. her eyes wide with ex-
element. II do believe the minister told
IL story!" why. the ideal" said her
mother; you don't know what you are
saying But l do. mamma. 1 heard
papa ask him how long lie had worn
chin whiskers. and he said he had worn
them all his life.'-Indianapolis Press.
Out of the ordinary: II think we
-