The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1900-12-13
HIS QUEER CALLING.


who had just narrated rather remarkable |
story of adventure.
my occupation was never officially |
classified" replied the little man, smilingly, |
"but / suppose might have been termed !
professional vandal-an expert defacer of
public and private property"
"A what?" exclaimed the questioner in
amazement, and in response to a general de. |
mand the dapper stranger proceeded to ox.
plain himself more fully. 81 can best make |
the matter clear" said he. "hy telling Won
briefly how | came to invent the business
In the summer of '92 happened to be in
certain large northern city, out Of work and
badly in need of money One of the local
merchants was flooding the place al the time
with all sorts Of advertisements for a new
shoe, which was then a trade novelty. and
seeing his announcements at every hand |
conceived bright idea.
'In front of magnificent pubic library.
which was the pride of the city, was
statue of Shakespeare, seated in a chair with
his legs crossed. He was supposed to be in
an attitude of reflection but he was also in
the attitude of man trying on a new pair
Of shoes What will you give me- | asked /
the enterprising merchant, If put one Of
your shoes on Shakespeare's raised foot. an
other in his hand and banner on his shoul.
der prOclaiming the merits Of the goo0sF
IN give you $780, he whispered, but no
guarantee aginst lynching took the con.
tract, and next morning the whole city was
aghast at what the newspapers called "a
fendish desecraton of a noble work of art >
OF course the merchant promptly denied all
knowledge of the affair, and the exploit was
generally attributed to larking college stu.
dents
MY scheme, in few words" continued
the dapper man, was TO put up advertise
ments in strange, unexpected and forbidden
places, and the row that invariably cnsued
gave my patrons species Of publicity that
was absolutely unique. They could always
stand from under by simply denying con-
nection with the affair, and it was then Ger.
tain to be set down to unknown practical
jokers. In such business it was, OF course
impossible to lay down any fixed rules; the
work in each case depended entirely upon
circumstances.
you may remember, for example. the
terrific uproar that was occasjoned by the
mysterious appearance of q baking powder
'ad on the marblehoored roturda Of the
state house in one of the North Atlantic
capitals. The facts as afterward developed
by the senate investigating committee, were
very strange and puzzling. The rotunda had
been freshly scrubbed it seemed by an old
lrishman, who had done a particularly neat
and thorough job, and dozens of people who
passed through it during the next two DAYS
testified that the marble was absolutely
stainless. On the third morning, however,
curious dark spots began to appear and soon
resolved themselves into letters. They grew
blacker and blacker, and by room the baking
powder 'ad' loomed out in all its glory, %
MI u+iIa T. :. l,,
climax it was found that the disco,oration
extended into the marble fully an eighth of
an inch, and later on cost the state nearly
$1,000 to have it removed by a sand blast.
The matter has since been arranged with
the authorities, so | don't mind telling you
that while the innocent old Irshman was
scrubbing the hall he quietly traced the let
etrs in coiorless solution Of nitrate Of
silver. That chemical, as you probably
know, becomes black after being exposed to
the ligh, for a certain length of time. The
identity of the honest scrubber | will leave
you to imagine.
Another coup that attracted wide atten.
tion at the time was the ineXplicabe pres
ence of a 90.foot streamer flying from the
pinnacle of one of the tallest church spires
IN the United States and bearing the name
OF a well-known patent medicine. 1t was
discovered one bitter cold morning in Jan
uary and created profound amazement for
the temperature stood at five degrees below
zero that day, and it was panifesty impos-
sible for any human being to have scaled the
sleet-coated spre. The pinnacle was ex-
actly 1856 feet above the pavement, and The
newspapers advanced all sorts of weird the
ories, including the use Of kites and airships,
10 explain how the streamer was attached.
The congregation was furious, but it was i'm
possible to get the thing down until the fol.
lowing spring, and it remained a standing
'ad.' for nearly 100 days. The explanation
OF this singular occurrence was absurdly
simple You see everybody had forgotten
about humble steeple.jack who had as
cended the spire, away back in the preceding
April, to reglld the metal work at the tip.
This steeple-iack carried with Kim, under his
blouse, tightly rolled strcamer and a small
wooden box. lie attached both to the side
Of the pinnacle and fastened down the
Streamer with a bit of wire which passed
through hole in the box. Inside the latter
was some simple mechanism operated on
the thermostat principle, and so adjusted
that when the mercury in a small ther-
mometer fell to five degrees below zero 1t
formed an electric connection and released
the wire. After these things were quietly
arranged, the steepe-Jack regiided the top,
came down, got his pay and disappeared.
The rolled streamer and box We're entirely
too small to be observed at that height, and,
moreover, they were partly hidden by some
ornate scroll work. There they remained,
unseen and unsuspected, until that bitter
night in January, when the thermometer.
for the first time in the year, fell low enough
10 make the connection and release the
fastening. A gale was tearing through the
upper air and the streamer instantly whirled
out to its full length, exactly as the tightly
wadded colors break from masthead in a
yacht race. They discovered the trick wher
they removed the bunting, but in the mean
while it was one of the biggest mysteries
Of the day.
The dapper stranger lit fresh cigar anc
Tor awhile silence reigned. Then mar
tom Chattanooga spoke up
Il beg pardon" he said, "but it strike.
NE as yerv-er-sinpular that | never hearC