davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
l4if5fzf;zz3 II n
Fond TrustfuIness.

"Josiar," said Mrs. Corntossel, I'm
sure you can't find no fault with Josh
sence we've been to town"
Il can't! He didn't get home till
four o'clock this mornin''
Il noticed it. lou know, you told
him you wanted him to be sure an be
out O. bed every morning before five
o'clock"
"Yes.'
"Well, the poor boys so skeered of
you that he's been stayin' up all
night, SOS to be able to keep his
word Washington Star.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
New Translation of n. 8 W

A clergyman entering upon the charge Of
new living not far from London resolved to
invite all his Pensioners to an "at home" ip
ofder to make their acquaintance and &C.
cordingly sent out cards to that effect 4
district visitor calling at one of the house,
was at once accosted in this way: ooh. miss.
L have been wanting so much to see YOU. for
my ,neighbor and have got an invitation
card, but we are so puzzled about the four
big letters in the corner. She says thew
mean: Reply soon, victuals provided but
Chronicle.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
MARCH AND APRIL
Are the Most Disagreeable Months of
tho Year In the North.

In the South, they are the pleasantest and
most agreeable. The trees and shrubs put
forth their buds and flowers; early veg
etables and fruits are ready for eating, and
in fact all nature seems to have awakened
from its winter sleep. The Louisville Il Nash
vile Railroad Company reaches the Garden
Spots Of the South, and will on the first and
third Tuesdays of March and April sell
round trip tickets to all principal points in
Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia and West
Florida, at about half rates. Write for par
ticulars of excursions to P Sid Jones, D. P. A,
in charge of immigration, Birmingham Ala,
or Jackson Smith, D. P. A, Cincinnati, o.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
True to Himself.

"Do you intend to spend the balance
of the century in this same idle, shift
less way, my friend?" asked the phil
anthropist, who had given him a
meager handful of sold victuals.
81 don't like that word balance ="
answered Tuffold Knutt, looking at
him with coldly critical eye. Rest
is blamed sight better word."-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
The Only Why Out,

Chemists sistant-Good gracious!
I have kept that woman waiting three
quarters of an hour. Iforgot all about
her prescription.
Chemist-You will have to charge her
a good tall price in order to make her
think you had lot of trouble in mix
ing it up.-Tit-Bits.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
Stolen Again.

"The moonbeams were stealing in
the henhouse door," read the rustic
child with the new story book.
What were they stealing?" leased
the youth in the blue jeans.
"Chickens!" grinned the rustic child.
Chicago Daily News.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
Wanted the Call Repeated.

Employer Ito collector)-See Mr..
Owen?
Collector-O. yes.
Employer-Was he annoyed at your
calling upon him?
Collector-Not a bit. He asked me
to call again.-Ohio State Journal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

Its a lessless' age" remarked SIM
pers.
What do you mean?" inquired Gales.
Here's couple who entered upon
loveless marriage, drove away in a
horseless carriage and received all
their congratulations by wireless
telegraphy. Baltimore American.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

Miss Skreecher-"I noticed that DR..
Brown, who sat next to you, was quite in.
terested in my singing last night
Miss Peppery--I don't think it was your
singing, dear. He turned to me when you
had finished and said Il never miss an
opportunity to study the tonsils; it's my
specially, you know."-Troy Times
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
Low Rate Home Seekers, Excursions,

The Missouri Pacific Railway and Iron
Mountain Route are now running series of
excursions to the West and Southwest.
Tickets on sale March 9th and goth, April
Sd and 18th, at very low rates Maps, fold
ers, time cards and illustrated pamphlets on
the various states mailed free on application
to H. G. Townsend G. p. & r. A.. ST. Louis.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
The Guilty Partner.

Tom-Here's a paper offering $25
prize for the best answer to the ques-
ton: why have L failed in bust
ness?" That's dead easy.
Dick-Well, why did you fail?
Tom-Because L had a partner
Town Topics.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

Shank-And, so, Skooper has organ
lied a class in mnemonics. He claim.
to be able to teach an unfailing meth
cd of never-forgetting
O'Shawe-What is his scheme?
Shank-Why, he induces each mem
Der of his class to loan him five dol
lars. That's all!-Puck.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
a Foolish Ouestiou

Mamma-My dear, Where have you
been all this time?
Daughter-Sitting up with a sick
friend.
Nonsense. | believe you've been in
the parlor all the time with that Mr..
Softleigh."
"Well, ma, he's lovesick. "-Philadel-
phia Press.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

Mr. Potwell-Now do look after the
dinner yourself, my dear. You know
the Guttletons are coming.
Mrs Potwll-But if l do, they'll be
sure to want to come again!-Brook-
lyn Life
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

The japanese government decided
some time ago to increase the price of
railway tickets by one-third. The re-
suit was loss instead of gain in re-
cpintS
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

Lizzie-Yes, the icemen, the coal
men and the hackmen were all there
but / danced only with the milkmen.
Mayne-Why, Liz?
Lizzie-Because they are the cream
of society.-Chicago Daily News.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
An Every-Duy Occurrence.

Smith--Chicago has robber who
drives about in cab.
Brown-That's nothing! I've been
robbed by cab driver many a time.
Town Topics.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
A Fnrced Accentnnce.

Mr.. Alderman - Young Hikoller
just asked me for Mary's hand and
told him to take her and be happy.
Mrs. Aldermann-Oh, John, how
could you?
Mr. Aldermann-Confound it, had
to! Tomorrow is election, and if I'd
kicked him out of the house I'd have
lost his vote.-Judge.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

Many young swell, grandly got-up,
With the ladies' makes hit;
He wears a three-inch stand-up collar,
With no shirt hanging on 10 it,
Ally Sloper
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
A Woman's Discovery.

Isabelle used to sacrifice myself
for other people,
Belinda-Don't you do it now?
Isabelle-No. I've quit it; people
seem to like me just as well, and
I know I'm more amiable and better
looking -Detroit Free Press.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

I've made but two great VOWS in ali my
life:
First at the altar, when took a wifel
The second when death eased our mutual
pain,
That would never do the like again,
Judge.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
Setting Himself Right.

"You don't dare put your arm
around Miss Passce's waist"
I'm not afraid of her-but I'm no
lemon squeezer. Life
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
OF the Same Mind,

The Artistry dear fellow! Ipaint
picture in two days, and think moth
ing of it.
The Friend-I am of your opinion
BROOKLYN Life.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
Her Literary Deficiency,

She could talk about the classics in a very
knowing way;
She was fine in mathematics and in art
made some display;
She was cultured and accomplished both in
poetry and song,
But whene'er she read a cook Rockwell,
she somehow got it wrong.
Washington Star.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
Judge.

Mr.. Uglymugg-Do you know, Miss
Stopper, l used to draw pretty well
myself when [ was boy
Miss Slopper-You'd draw pretty
well now, in a museum.-Chicago In
ter Ocean.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
He Was "Snooth."

Hes a very smooth man." they
said, with conviction.
Nor were they in error in the matter,
for he had just had a clean shave.-Chi-
caro- Post.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
Good Advice.

Here is a well-known proverb,
Revised to suit, the masses
If you in a stone house dwell,
Refrain from throwing glasses.
Chicago Daily News.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

"A man who will beat his wife" en-
claimed Mrs. Rivers, "is cruel!"
And she upset the chessboard.-Chi.
cago Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

isn't your neighbor, Blinkinoff, a
drinking man."
Il wouldn't like to give an expert
opinion on the subject. I'll admit, how
ever, that | saw him the other night
trying to drive spiggot into an ash
barrel, thinking that it was cider
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
A Friendly Suggestion.

Life is really not worth living"
Said the pessimist with SILVER;
"Old man." the optimist replied,
Go take something for your liver"
Chicago Daily News.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

The chii!iness of liquid air
Seems more like warmth, tits found,
To those who meet that frigid stare
Where Boston girls abound
-Elliott'S MagaZine.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

Kemp's Balsam will stop the Cough at
once. Go to your druggist to-day and get a
sample bottle free. Large bottles 25 and 80
cents. Go at once; delays are dangerous.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

Fifty-sevea new cotton mills have
been built in the south during the pas+
~ months.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

Some men need time locks on theih imag-
inatioD.-Chicago Dispatch.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

Some pretty girls are so vain that people
refuse to admit their good looks.-Atchison
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

We see her at the telephone,
We note her stormy frown:
She calls her husband up
And then she calls him down.
Chicago Daily News
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

Mrs. De Silke-I wish to give a
memorial of some kind to the church,
in memory of a relative. What would
you suggest?
Struggling Pastor-A-er-an ap-
propriately decorated er - new
church furnace. madam, and "a few
tons of coal.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

"But, Mr.. Simmons, you are so aw-
fully ugly"
"Yes, but opposites should marry"
Chicago Chronicle.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05
It's Real Fun Now.

Bobby is attending to his piano
forte lessons very faithfully of late, "
said the youths uncle.
Yes replied his mother. 81 don't
have any trouble with him about that
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

Jimmy with the peanuts)-A little
girl choked to death eating peanuts
the other day.
Jane-Well, she'd been Twin yet if
she'd known you!-N. Y World.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

A hit-or-miss policy usually has few strik.
ing features.-Chicago Dispatch.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-05

"Some of the neighbors complained
of the noise his exercises made, and ]
told him about it. Now he thinks it's
fun to Bits.
The daily news., 1900-02-14

Joy the benefits of office which the
voters of the party really bestow, in
accordance with states made up by
the party leaders. The idee appears
to be that those who do the voting
should have something to say about
the candidates they vote for.
The News does not believe in changing all
officers every four years as a matter OF
principle, but we wish simply 10 bring out
the fact that Offices are nothing in the
world but situations given out by the people
TO those whom they desire to honor or
trust. They are bonuses for fealty 10 party
principle and honorable business transac-
tions. And, being the property OF the pee
pie, can be given at viii to any whom the
people desire TO honor.
The repeated re-nO1ination Of state
officers 20 be their own successors :,
while eminently complimentary TO
them, argues TO the effect that the
party contains no others worthy or
capable TO take their places. There
mGv be others whom the people
would gladly honor, did they not
permit themselves to be governed.
in the convention. by those who
claim that "the interests OF the
party demand that incumbents of
long standing should succeed them
selves. The Interests of the party
is an argument, when thus used. that
really means the personal interest of
some political leader who regards
the denomination of an incumbent
as essential to his private plans.
The voters of the party are quite as
loyal to its real interests as any of
its leaders, and have quite as much
right as they to decide what that in
terest really is.
One OF the most democratic provisions OF
the state constitution forbids the governor
TO holi Office two terms in succession. and
it generally understood that his cabinet
viii 20 ont with him.
THE News ardcn;ly desires that
the constitutional provision affecting
the gOvernOrship shall be extended
to include all state officers. and fur
ther suggests that its extension to
include all county officers as well. i
a question which deserves the seri-
Gus consideration of every public
spirited citizen of the state. Exist
Ing conditions, with regard to both
state and county offices, warrant
the declaration that no better time
for the consideration of such a pro-
vision could be desired.
The daily news., 1900-02-14
THE MODERN WAY

Commends itself TO the well-inform-
ed, to do pleasantly and etfectually
what was formerly done in the
crudest manner and disagreeably as
well. To cleanse the system and
break mp colds. headaches, and fe-
vers without unpleasant after effects.
use the delightful liquid laxative
remedy, syrup Of Figs. Made by
California Fig Syrup Co.
The daily news., 1900-02-14
FiIIing state Differs.

The rotation in Office topic has
had long rest during the holiday
se4son, but the state papers are again
giving attention to it, and the ques-
Tions started at the last session of
the legislature about making "a
''clean sweep" getting new blood ''
IN the state administration and form
ulating an entirely new slate for
the coming campaign, promise 10 be
discussed quite generally from now
on 10 the assembling of the state
convention.
THE NEWS has heretofore cX-
pressed i;~ conviction that the clean
sweep" U"veE,u, would not be ez-
tended % include .he present incum-
bents of the comp:roi.er's AMI trc@--
urer's cl,lco-. partly because they Gr
not belong 20 :ha class ..a m,m5.,-
Of w.ica l.y- t,.. I.n.a ely r...
e!ect.3 a~ l...- oy.a --...-~or-. as..
parilr b.cH"-a aa h.t--- m.n f.-
their Ta-r.--.-" v--.t5...- r.n ..
found saE".... 3. s... --a-s. -
same can p. -..t ,t ...aa..--....... ..
WoMa..... .s..,- -... .. .. r.s
~ery:a- ..- t.irE ;.-.. ..-.. .. s..r..-
tAr.- as ~'a;. t..e....'. s..,a .+ .. .
serving IE.- El,.i i.r.: a.. r.a.r..
caeE age &. 81. ,@-t .... 81 .ce..'.r.
wlia tae "...-" ~F.. I.t-. .-
o 90
The daily news., 1900-02-14
PEOPLES STORE

Just arrived, large assortment Of
the ce!ehTated ''GTitfOn Brand" Of
Shirt Waists in dark and light per-
Gale. white lawn, etc. They are the
best in the land. Famous for fit.
style and finish. We invite your in
spection. 9f5t
The daily news., 1900-02-14
For Over EifrHYenra

-, ~ r. ~, " i NsLow's SOOTHING SYRrP has
n,T,b'-- - 10, 10! over hity years by millions oi
hothrrs iO7 their children while tes, b,,e' 80 ~
.o,,aF 80 trct success. 1t soothes the child
c,,itc ~, ire gums, Allays all pain. cures wind
ft wiii - - - pest remedy for DarrbPa
~ n.Glateiy. "a Sold by Druggists in sv.r,, .il-
Esr' ia 3L o. the world. Twenty-Five cents a hn,y
~, no. % 81 sSre and ask for Mrs WtnsjoW.s
WI HlH8 syrup and take 40 othsr kind
The daily news., 1900-02-14
Don't Pay $40 and So

Tor SEWtNG MACHINES when ,-
can 3uE tIr best make with 9Il o.
i.'t" Improvements az .. VI. Prv..
bir2aln Furniturc House. for fro.
: 80 20 - our household furu;tr-
= equally as cheap. Call aaI Sd.
The daily news., 1900-02-14
A Night of Terror.

Awful anxiety was felt for the
widow of the brave General Burn
ham of Machias, Me, when the doc
tors said she could not live tili morn
ing writes Mrs. ). H. Lincoln, who
attended her that fearful night. "All
thought she must soon die from
Pneumonia. hut she begged for DR..
Kings New Discovery, saying it had
more than once saved her life. aud
had cured her of Consumption. AZ
ter three small doses she slept easily
all night, and its further Use com
pietely cured her" Thi| marvellous
medicine i guaranteed 10 rurp al!
Throat. Chest and Lung Di-ea- a---.
Only -" and 81 OD. Trial bottles freo
st W. \. D'Al.mberte'~ dru- store.
Come and "ave your eye, Gt.oG
Wit. ,aa b"-: glasses hy u. n. vi.
cox 81 The Chicago Eye i.-.I,ut. az
-.Lee"~yu. the jewelers.
The daily news., 1900-02-14
Coffee, Coffee

u e call the nffc7ff0n of
ne &8Rer0j buJHc tn NE
I4ct TINT IRE hare one Of
the best eqtIipDed R0asfers
IN the South. and thot ne
cG51 furnish this dcZici0lls
6ereT0Ge at prices That
dety competition. We also
tG1Sh u, to remind you that our
C0Hee$ are 0Jtc0ys fresh
Prom the R0aSte.r UhiLe
otheTS are OIdGnd hare lost
their aroma, ours is fresh
and delicious.
Ne10 Orleans Grocery Co..
J.AS. M'HUGH
Fh0ne IO5. Pron-ietOr.
The daily news., 1900-02-14
PEOPLE %TOEF

J"-t "~rivrd. largo a--ortmen+ of
IT," o.. -hrnted 'GrilfoH Brand of
$50. tF1i-t- i'm dark aud Ii.a- per-
t't-. White lawn. etc. Ihrv ar. tho.
'.- iu an" land. Famous for fit.
-'N'"'u" finish. We invite your in
-. 'tipu. Of.
The daily news., 1900-02-14

TIE New Orleans Times-DemO-
c-at continues its quest for a suit
able southern grown substitute for
The wood pulp from which white
paper il now made, but it carefully
ignores all reference to the solution
Of the problem that has been made
by the Pensacola Paper Mill, in the
use Of pitch pine for the mauufac-
ture Of pup, by "A process which
eliminates the resin, heretofore the
chief obstacle to its use for such pur-
rOsrs
The daily news., 1900-02-14
AMONG The
POLITICIANS

Hon. w. S. jennings gubernato-
rial candidacy j. to be given a big
boom this week, Mr.. Jennings cOu-
sin, Hon. William Jennings Bryan,
is to visit him at Brooksville Friday
and remain al days as his guest.
From Florida Mr.. Bryan will go to
Columbus, Ga, where he is booked
to speak Feb. -. He NAV be in
duced to make two or three speeches
in Florida during his stay.
There were four candidates for
sheri1f at tie meeting OF the county
commissioners last night and each
reported his campaign proceeding
satisfactorily. Several of the other
candidates for that office were en-
gagged elsewhere. Il don't see what
all these fellows are trying 70 get my
office for" said George Smith, II
haven't said yet that did not want
it,"
1t is stated that Z. Ward will
not be a candidate flor reelection as
a member of the school board, but
his friend, Judge q. NJ. Gentry of
Bluff Springs will make the race for
the office.
1t is said that Prof. Tate will soon
enter the race for superintendent of
public instructions.
knowing ones say all the candi-
dates for sheriff have not yet been
announced. There are others.
The first mud singing" of the
county campaign took place early
this week. Candidate Mcmillan,
who wants all his friends to know
that he wants to be reelected clerk.
was out in his buggy in the rain
storm making a canvass amOoC the
country voters and came back with
his new suit of clothes badly spl&shed
with the sticky mud.
John q. Welsh is going to be an
active and valuable member of the
board of county commissioners. AL
though newly in office ne took hold
OF public affairs last night in Il man
ner that proves his ability To tackle
the knottiest problems that present
themselves for solving.
The question is being generally
asked: Who l. going to run for the
Legislature? THE NEWS i told that
a prominent young attorney Will be
one of the candidates.
The daily news., 1900-02-14

THE Lake City Reporter takes
some pains to show how thin is the
argument Of those who oppose the
movement for the publication of the
laws. 1t says:
Only the official organs Ct the different
counties would publish the laws should such
= provision meet with legislative sanction.
ot these there are forty-hve, according TO
car friends. in which to publish the laws
every two years. I be cost Of publication.
provided we have fair. equitable and in
tslligent administration OF government.
would be nominal.
The daily news., 1900-02-14

Dr. Eull's ton-h >yru9 will give immeGiat,
relief 90 q child suiiocat.ng with the dread.
tH' Group. M"th"-> keep 3 II~ r'l.auI- M q
icine always handy and il Will .ay. Won
many uneasy nOCT-. 1t cost. tut -,,.;s
The daily news., 1900-02-14
(EDAI: IRFES

) feet high. 81 cents each.
Ieet high. - cents each.
70 u high. - cents each.
Apply 10 \. J. Watkiu
-. 'ar" WV. Johnson 4, So<
Phone 81. ce'.iI pa
IrE LII. Nr.,,---. IL
The daily news., 1900-02-14

1t is said that Prof. Tate will soon
enter the race for superintendent of
public instructions.
The daily news., 1900-02-14

knowing ones say all the candi-
dates for sheriff have not yet been
announced. There are others.
The daily news., 1900-02-14

The question is being generally
asked: Who l. going to run for the
Legislature? THE NEWS i told that
a prominent young attorney viii be
one of the candidates.
The daily news., 1900-02-14

Try TIE NEWS Want Column
The daily news., 1900-02-14

1t is stated that +. Ward will
not be a candidate for reelection as
a member of the school board, but
his friend, Judge q. NJ. Gentry of
Bluff Springs will make the race for
the office.