La Junta tribune., 1900-07-25
PRIVATE JONI Atl9n.

congress. And after these two
misfortunes private John Allen"
was invited to respond to toast at
banquet and the toast was ga
Statesman Out OF Job"
With much solemnity Mr.. Allen
in peculiar drawl said in substance:
"This toast to you seems funny
But to me it is solemn fact cruelty
embalmed and thrown at my head,
it is disaster canned and hove at
me for the edihcation OF those who
delight in reviling the misled and
the unhappy.
"Why am | out of job2 DUR
ing the compaign OF 1896 l followed
our peerless leader, the equal Of
Webster and Clay, Calhoun and
Cass consolidated in an intellectual
trust. AT one hundred and thirty
four separate places made a
speech OF which the following is a
correct report. | will edify you
with some OF my prophecies
Among them said.
"If Mckinley is elected and the
gold standard is maintained, dire
disaster, grim catastrophe and
gaunt famine will career howllng
through the land. Wheat will sell
at forty, corn at ten, oats at fifteen
cents bushel, and cotton at four
cents pound. Everything my
friends, the plain people'-if ]
may quote the lofty language Of
our inspired and peerless leader
produce will sell for nothing or be
given away and boot paid those
who will condescend to take it; and
all the things the poor mana
friend always to our peerless leader
has to buy will be raised to an
altitude greater than Pixies Peak.
Fellow citizens, the gold standard
is conspiracy to rob the toiling
millions. 1t presents US future
filled with blood crushed out Of
labor by the plutocratic chariots OF
diabolical greed and devastating
gold
"Now that speech was made in
good faith. was meekly follow
ing our peerless leader. My
prophecies were his prophecies and
! humbly emuiated his wondrous
powers as delineator of calami-
ties to come. But gentlemen we
little know the power Of Mark
Hanna. He got under the markets.
He lifted up corn, wheat, oats,
cotton, beef, pork, wool and po-
tatoes. But he did not lift poll
ticians, like our peerless leader and
myself who had made forecasts Of
the immeasureable wreck and ruin
which would inevitably follow the
gold standard like shadow. MOI
mol 'our peerless leader and were
let down to price level lower than
ever predicted for corn. The de-
mand for statesmen out OF a Job
has been over supplied and in sack
cloth and ashes we gaze with
streaming eyes upon furnaces
afiame, shops humming with the
orchestra of saw, hammer, anvil
and plane, and our ears are as
sailed everywhere under the malign
power Of gold, Hanna and Nc
Kinley with the monotony of the
sounds of contented industry and
hymns OF comfort from happy
homes.
"Thus that eminent and popular
brand Of hysterical and emotional
craftsmanship, SO pulsatingly and
vociferously typified by our peer
less leader and myself, is quite
generally out of job. The gold
standard and prosperity in the
United States are to populism, to
sixteen-to one and other vagaries
as Paris green to the codling moth,
cats to rats. robins to worms, and
the hne-tooth comb in the hair of
the head Of . vermin- afflicted ur-
chin. But again we march after
'our peerless leader who still in
spires us by precept and by lofty
and holy example to hunt job"