The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-08-19
BURDENED VITHANGUISH
Mental Torture Felt by a Car
Dispatcher.
The Shock Caused by Making an Err
ror-His Vivid Views of n Catas-
trophe Tint Seemed Certain TO
Follow "a Mistake on the Train
Sheet - The Meeting at Ludlow.

There were four of them and they were
seated in the corridor of the Midland Ho-
tel the other evening. smoking and talk
ing over the experiences of their younger
days. All of them were railroad officials
whose names are familiar the land over.
Z None was less than fifty years old and all
had reached the age when the hopes and
ambitions of life have either been realized
or laid carefully away, like faded flowers,
never to be looked at again, perhaps, ex-
cept with regret But the world had
treated them kindly and they had watched
each other climb up the ladder step by
step, steadily. perseveringly. until the top
had been reached and the long-delayed
and well earned reward had come.
1T is very easy TO get into the wrong
department of a railroad said one of the
group. a portly man with hair that was
snowy white. Il made that mistake in
the very beginning of my career. Went
into the operating department and it re-
CURED one of the seyerest lessons of my
life to teach me that didn't belong there.
Let tell you about it. The first position
of importance that ever held on rail-
road was as a dispatcher on one OF the
Western roads. In the hottest country the
sun shines upon in this hemisphere to-
day. 1t happened in Arizona The heat
was so intense that to sleep was utterly
impossible until nature became exhaust
ed. During the day the thermometer fire.
quentIy registered 100 and l remember
low We used to hold lighted cigar under
the instrument just as the overland pas
senger train pulled in at noon. with tou-
rists almost Frustrated. And many
hearty laugh We had. too, as they gazed
wonderingly at the thermometer with the
mercury up to the highest point. after
which they would send scores OF tele-
grams to friends in the East describing
the heat.
Il was working what We called the third
trick from miduiI,ht to o'clock in the
morning. Our Office controlled nearly 500
miles of track. ne had three mountain
ranges on our division, and every railroad
man knows what that means to dis
patcher. 1t was necessary 10 split all our
freight trains into several sections to cross
these mountains and as we had only few
telegraph offices, and those We did have
were far apart, we had to do some pretty
Close figuring to prevent delay to trains
This sort OF work Is sufficiently trying N
cool climate; in a land where everyone
was constantly on the verge OF collapse il
was rendered doubly hard.
One night in August went on duty az
usual at midnight, and received the trans
fer Of everything on the division. We open
ed z new train sheet at u O'Clock, and,
after checking of with a blue pencil all The
trains that had reached their destination,
l placed this new sheet over that used the
previous day. There was an order on the
hook to run regular westbound water
train ahead of time for a point at about
the middle Of the division. and at l O'Clock
started it OUT must have been half
asleep when gave that order to the oper-
at0r. for l neglected TO do what every de-
spatcher does. what l had done always be-
fore issuing running ordeTs-I failed to
look at the old train sheet. Had l done SO
! might still be a dispatcher instead OF
general manager. Now all of you know that
train running ahead OF time has the rights
of an extra only. Ten minutes after re-
ceiving the report of the departure of that
water train | glanced at the old sheet
What l saw sent the blood to my head with
a rush and dropped back in my chair lp-
less, for away up in one corner Of the sheet
saw that an extra was coming east. l
had sense enough left to call up the sta
tion from which the water train had Just
fingered in the yard and might still be
stopped by the swltchmen. But it was too
late. What could do? There was not an
other night office on that part OF the dvi-
sion, and two trains we're rushing toward
each other with nothing to warn them of
the wreck that 1 knew must occur.
II have heard OF mems hair turning
white in single night and have read of
others being driven mad under conditions
mr. fay uybfc oh
l lived for two hours that August night"
1t was becoming interesting. Several
outsiders moved their chairs closer to that
of the speaker and the clerk SO far forgot
his dignity as to join the group.
For 120 minutes" continued the ex-ds-
patcher, Il lived over every smallest detail
of my life. l followed those trains, men
tally, over every inch of the division.
knew just about where they must come to-
gether. II would occur on a sharp curve
where neither would see the other until
it would be impossible to stop. | could see
the agony on the faces OF the engineers
and the fremen as they caught one flash of
the headlights: and then came the crash,
the escaping steam, the grinding. and
creaking Of broken timbers. But over all
/ heard the cries and groans of injured
men, and every one of them was a friend
of mine.
FOR two hours l was obliged to con-
tinue sending orders 10 forty or fifty trains
on other parts OF the road and all the time
| was waiting for the message that would
contain the details of the collision. | tell
yoa. gentlemen" here the white haired
man rose to his feet. stirred by the recol- /
lection. Il wouldn't live that night over
again for all the world l couldn't tell you
in an hour Of all the thoughts that crowded
TO my mind as worked and waited. Near |
ly all the men composing the crews on /
those two trains were married: | knew (
their wives and their children | had
grown up among them. And before the /
break Of day. / thought. .hey would be /
willows and orphans; and l. | should never |
dare to look them in the face again. Fer !
haps the law would punish me. Here he /
idea occurred TO me that ! must escape;
It didn't matter where 1 went. / wanted |
only to go where / should not be seen ty |
those who knew OF my criminal careless
ness. Abou. O'Clock l had figured that |
In few moments should know the worst.
By that time / was no longer At to handle |
trains, and although l had said no word |
to my call boy, he knew that something |
was wrong and without consulting me |
awoke the chief dispatcher. | remember
ed seeing Johnny come into the office: |
then, ! may as well confess II, laid down |
on the counter, or someone put me there. |
The next thing knew was that water was
being dashed into my face and the chief |
was saying: Come old man, it's all |
right; they didn't hit, they met at Lud-
low,'"
The climax was dramatic. Every man in |
the party sat bolt upright to catch the last |
sentences, for the voice OF the general |
manager was husky with emotion.
II never sent another train order in my
life; | never shall, That" said the speak
err, as he arose and mOtioned to the clerk