The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-12-14


They say. are not the kisses
OF budding Misses
But soulful kris
From any Mrs.
Who knows what bliss is
And what kiss is,
And kisses
For sake Of blisses
And blisss
Sake.
., take
Your choice, remembering this.
\ Mrs.
Often kisses
The misses,
And sometimes, too, he misses
And misses!
st. Louis Post Dispatch.
The king-"You Merican, YOU, you?"
Robert Mackay-"Yes your majesty. I
am an! glad to say that l am an American
va halajaa Ku Fiji:'' (How do you
"Yoqr majesty, I am most pleased
with this beautiful island. Like the 9TH
er islands of the South sea, it is an
earthly paradise"
You ketch him o?"-(tobacco.)
Yes, your majesty (deferentially). l
have plenty OF tobacco-some fine old
Virginia leaf. Maybe your majesty
You give me bacoco, l give you big
pearl"
a pearl from king! The deal was
closed. Immediately l dispatched a man
to the hut where my trunk rcposed, and
told him to bring me all the tobacco he
could find But surely there was not
sufficient for a kings pearl, a priceless
jewel: | tried to demur-to change his
majestys mind, but he would not have it
otherwise. Presently the man returned
with three large boxes of long cut, and
bunch Of Manila cigars which | had
bought for moth determination. The
lot would have brought about ST in the
FIJI market, and [ reluctantly passed it
over to his majesty, who took it with
that cry Of delight that comes only from
the breast of the man who has found
muttered some unintelligble words in the
Fiji dialect, and from the deep confines
of his coat brought forth a thin ball of
cotton. He unrolled it with a particular
caution and picked up the pearl, white,
dainty, supreme. He held it between his
thumb and forefnger for a moment Of
head: placed it in my outstretched hand.
l shall never forget how, many months
later, when l landed in London, l went
to the purser and got my cherished pearl
from his strong box. was going to
have it mounted as a pin. l shall never,
never forget how the jeweler listened to
my story, clapped a .magnifying glass to
his eye, looked at it closer and closer
and closer, and then said, in tone that
pierced my heart:
My boy, this isn't pearl; it is fish
eye!'-Robert Mackay in Success.
He-'My dear, it is of no use for you
to look at those hats, for I have only a
few shilllngs in my pocket"
She-"You might have known when
we came out that 1 wanted to buy a
few things"
He-''1 did. '-1llustrated Bits.
"Now, SIR" said the cross examining
counsel, do you, on your oath, swear
that this is not your handwriting?'
I'm pretty sure it ain't,' was the re-
ply.
Does it resemble your wrting.''
II reckon not
DO you take your oath that this writ
ing does not resemble yours?'
Yes sir"
Now, sir, will you kindly let me see
a specimen Of your handwriting:'
mo, I WON'T
ooh! you won't, Ell? And why won't
YOU?
CduSe Can Nlltt Il lex Me-CD.
He (despcndently)- 'Our marriage will
have to be postponed. I have lost my
sltnation and haven any income at ALL.
She hopefully doesn't matter
now, my dear. We won't need any. I've
learned how to trim my own hats
Illustrated Bits.
A correspondent writes; Your story Of
Lord Portsmouth and the London cabby
has reminded me Of one which may be
new to you. A late Archbishop of Can
terbury, at an ordination service, spoke
dained against talking over the heads of
those to whom they ministered; and ad-
vised them to drop affectations of speech
and strivings after literary and other SUI
periority. To produce any effect, he said,
1T was necessary to descend to the level
of the hearer. The archbishop's coach
BY A few days later the archbishop
was being driven through London, and
his carriage got into a block. It was i'm
possible for the cOachman to advance or
retire. On putting his head out of the
window to learn the state of affairs, the
archbishop was mortified to hear his
the drivers who obstructed the way. The
s.! -! i! -.'
John! john gasped the archbishop,
aghast. ''What's this l hear?"
''All right, M ludv' answered John,
promptly and cheerily. II am following
your advice, and am letting myself down
to the level of these ERE folks. I'm talk
in to them in language which they un-
derstand. No use a-shootin' over their
'eads!''
Fred-'1 hear your cook has left you
What was the trOuble?'
His Sister-"Our kitchen is so small
that she had to put her bicycle in the eel
lar, and she thought the damp wasn'1
good for t!'-Illustrated Bits.
Mr.. Waller, an uncle-in-iaw of Mr.
Mckinley, tells the following story OF
the Presidents boyhood: On one occa.
sion, during visit of Mrs. Waller to the
home of her brother, William McKin
ley, Sr the President was lad of IL
or II years of age. He was student
at the time and was porting over his
Latin when his brother David, who was