davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
IUNGENT PARAGRAPHS

Hc-"You needn't be angry. could
have kissed you two or three tiTnes
then IL Id wanted to-" she-'ies, ]
know il ~. Y. Press.
Make a sentence contain.
ing the word pursuit. Bright Boy
(who reads the papers)-"Nere ten
dollars, now $3.50 per suit.
pima Record.
Gas@ell-''I hear that women bar.
bers are becoming quite numerous in
some places. 'Dukane-'Well. most
women possess the conversational
qualification. Pittsburgh Telegraph
Short Road to Popuiarity-Hingso-
THAT doctor is very popular with so.
ciety people, 'JingsO-'Yes; he givei
Latin and Greek names to sick head.
aches and the like. e.@Syracuse Herald.
Willie-"Sow that sister IS going tc
marry Mr.. jerks why is it called an
engagement. pa?,M Mr.. Undrethum-
"Probdbly because the real battle
comes lat, my son."-Philadelphis
Press.
VisitGr-'What a dreadful smell OF
smoke" "Hostess-"O, il is only George
burning his weeds. as he calls it,"
Visitor-''I didn't know he went in for
gardening Hostess-''Neither does
he lie has been smoking some cigars
| gave him last Christmas. Judy.
Negroes are unconsciously humor.
Gus. The other day two roustabouta
were overheard talking. They met on
the leyee, after one had been absent
from the city for several weeks. "IIel-
10. Bill. How Is yer?" asked the first.
We'll, was the reply, "de doctor is
give me up, but de police amt
Memphis Scimitar.
Couldn't Say It.--Mrs. Rambo ION
the inside of the front door )-''Absa
lon. you have been drinking aglin!"
Mr.. Rambo Ton the outside) mo, m
dear. /" Mrs Rambo-'Say Prompt
payments patiently pursued produce
Mr.. Rambo-"Prompt
patiently prosued pos"
Mrs. "Absalom, you can go
up to your room by way OF the back
door. ~ Memphis Commercial Appeal.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
A Diplomatic Pus,

One almost forgets how long ago Il
Is since the muzzling order was arst
issued, bat shortly after the inception
OF that order a housemaid attached
10 a foreign legation took n pug dog.
also attached" 20 the same legation
out for a walk. She was stopped by a
constable who asked her why the dog
was not wearing a muEklc. The house.
maid replied that the dog did not pos.
seSs a muxsle. because Il was a diplo.
matte dog, The constable responded
that the dog was dog. and that he was
not a fool. The constable tonk the
name and address OF the houNemaid.
\ few days later a summons arrived at
the legation. The heuzemald did not
present herself at the court, aud the
magistrate imposed fine on her. At
last the foreign minister went to the
marquis Of Salisbury about the mat.
ter. The result was that all the on
clals connected With the ease were
reprlmanded and ''note" was ad.
dressed from Lord Salisbury 20 all the
legations in London, ia which note
Lord Salisbury said he had the honor
10 call attention To a certain order en-.
Titled the "muEzling order" by which
II was enacted thar all dogs. when
taken into public places, should wear
a muEEle over their head.-@Chamhers'
Journal.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
Could Change His Mind.

Prof Hendershott is well known in Pitts
burgh as man of affable temper, and it is
rare that he shows even impatience. One
day while travelling on a suburban trolley
car to call on friend, he asked the con-
ductor to transfer him 10 the city street
cars at a certain point. Soon afterward the
car stopped and he was surprised to see out
side the very friend he was seeking, He
started to leave the car, when the conductor
accosted him. "You cant change for your
fessor passed him, taking no notice. Cant
change cars here, | tell you" snapped the
conductor again. The professor, deep in
conversation with his friend, merely waved
his hand to signify that the car might 90
on without him. Here" cried the man
in brass buttons, angrily, don't | tell you
that you can't change cars at this place"
Then the good old professor answered with
severity: but | can change my mind at
this station, can't I?'-Golden Days.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

Judge Clark, OF the North Carolina
supreme eaurt, had ~ open court at
Oxford one winter When he got 10
Henderson he found deep snow on
the ground aud the railroad from that
place 10 Oxford In those days did not
run IN such weather So the Judge set
out In buggy. with q driver whose
customers had Heretofore been com
mcrcinl tourists. He took the Judge
for n drummer, and tried to beguilc
the tedum by talking over the hard.
ware line. Not finding him exactly
well posted on that he took up the
dry goods business. Not doing much
better with that he succcssiyely tried
him on notions, groceries. liquors and
Others. Having exhausted all the
lines" he could think OF. he finally
asked; "lou are n drummer, are you
uotF' "Yes," said the Judge. II am
somewhat In that line" well. what
Is your lineP' said the driver. III am
a drummer for the state peuiten.
tiary." The driver, saying 20 himself.
half aloud; "lou are the first one In
that line that ever came along here"
drove the rest of the way in silence.
When the conveyance drove up to the
hotel In Oxford the landlord ran out
to greet his guest. When the driver
heard his passenger called Judge" the
point dawned on him. and he dashed
around the house, scattering a cloud
of snow with his wheelS,-N. Y. Trib-
unp
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
SCORE FOR THE MENU.
He Guessed mt the French and struck
Nothing But EGGS and
TOothpicks.

Gilson-Next time take girl to a French
restaurant l won't be so alfred smooth.
/ don't care durn whether she believes
| talk French in my sleep and take French
newspaper, or whether she thinks | don't
know a French poodle from dachshund!
Willets-What's the matter now?
Last night thought if I'D go right down
the card and pick out something every
couple of inches I'd strike 4 about right.
Ii there's one thing / can't eat it's hen
fruit. Well, the first round we got was
soup with dropped egg in it"
"Well, you didn't have to eat it!
"rhe next prize package | drew was a
plain omelette. fought shy of it and said
/ was waiting for the real solid dishes.
Yes"
"Well, next got eggs broiled in butter
and then egg sandwichesl / couldn't play
off forever, and had to eat EN-
Poor old chap!"
"Then | got mad and jumped clear to
the last thing on the list for dessert And
what do you think the waiter brought usy
Toothpieksp-N. Y. Press.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
POSTED ON FINANCE.
She Gave Her Sister Club
Members.

''It is simply impossible TO keep posted on
everything said club woman to a Daugh-
ter OF the American Revolution.
Yes, indeed, it is" admitted the ID. A. X.
"Bnt sometimes, il you are not quite posted,
you can wriggle out of difficult situation
without seeming so very ignorant. For ex:
ample, was Just saved by my presence OF
mind at ID. A. II. meeting the other day.
Prof. Sparks, OF the university, you know,
read lovely paper on 'Goyerneur Morris,
Finaneier Of the American Revolution.
Who is this Governor Morrisg said q
friend Of mine from the Fortnightly club.
Seems TO me | never heard of him
''fhere were half a dozen Women around,
and | was frightfully embarrassed. never
had heard Of Governeur Morris, either, but,
you know, d. A. 4. is supposed to know all
those things.
%, don't you remember sal. Nor
ris was the man who financed the govern.
ment ard borrowed a lot Of money to do it
Thank you, said my friend from the
Now. the fact is, you know. DEAR" con-
tinued the ID. A. r., Il really knew nothing
of it whatever, except that Prof. Sparks
subject said that the man had financed the
government, and l knew if he did that he
must have had to borrow a lot of money
Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
Chances In War.

War Is not such dangerous game as
people thlnk. In spite Of all efforts to
aunihtlate each other, enemies do com.
paratiyely slight damage Duriug the
Franeo-ierman war. with It's scores Of
battles on a vast scale, only i9t. men
Ia each 1000 We're killed aud los
Wounded, while 4's per eco were miss.
ing. Thus any soldier engaged had
sbou, nlue chances 10 one that he
would not get a scratch. aud over fifty
chances TO oue that he would rot be
killed. Most of the Wounds ctived
we're Slighi-that Is to say. one fourth
OF all the wounds were severe, and
shrve-toarths were slight Hut IL is
surprising how snsll 4 woEud disables
a man ADD knocks him out o. the
s4nka.. Cincinnati. Enquirer.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
WOMAN WHO DIDN'T WORRY.
She was a member Of a club

She was a member OF club
Whose motto vas: "Don't worryP'
And daily TO her lowing hub"
She sweetly said: '.Dan't worryl'
Your hair" ahe tod her mate one dag
Is falling out and getting gray-
How fast tbs seasons pass away
But never mind-Don't worry
I'VE haven't much put by she said.
For rainy days-Don't worry
The hopes we used to have are dead.
Our plans are wrecked-Don't worryi
A few years more and you'll be told
To step aside because you're old,
And then some younger man will hold
The place you fili-Don't worry
.'They tax US more from day to day
And year to year-Doni worry
They'll take our little home away,
And drive us forth-Dont worryi
Your overcoat will never last
Another year-its style Is past
My sealskln. too is going fast,
But what Of that7-Don'f worryl
when You arc IS and
Am 50-there. don't worry
Well have no hope but just to die
And be at rest-Dou't worry
There's nothing for us on ahead,
No help to be Inherited-
Wen have TO beg our daily bread,
But never mind-Don't worry
Day after day she took his hand
In hers and said: 'Don't w0rryf"
She kept his woes before him, and
Implofed him not to worry
From dawn TIL dark she hHrped away,
And, worried and worn out, one day,
His spirit fleeing, heard her say
Unto his corpse: Don't worry
--S. Il. Kiser, In Chicago Times@Herald
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

your things on after dinner and vel
60 down and have a look at it. It's
made out o some kind o black stun
with a lot of this here frizzy why
spangley stun spIatteFed all over tbs
waist and slirt-I dunno If / can give
you any idea of it, but I'll bet hat
you'll like il. We can look It oyci
this evening. and tomorrow you can
60 down and buy IT, tn just about
fit you, | should say, from the looks
of It.
Mrs. Jobson was stunned.
why, you darling old-"
"By the way, you might as well tog
out in your best tonight, said Mr.
Jobson, interrupting her. Got a
couple of seats for the theater, and
after the show well have bite at
well. any place you want to go. Well
just make little night OF it. How =
that ?'
Mrs. Jobson went upstairs and put
on her things in trance. She WAS al
most in tears.
''f don't know what in the world I'd
do II anything was the matter with
the dear, lovely old
Here her mind wandered into specu.
lation over the strange happenings OF
the afternoon and evening. She got
herself up In her best, and when she
descended the stairs Mr.. Jobsou, him
self decked out in his evening clothes
rewarded her with gaze OF admira'
tion.
"By Jove. you do look nice, my
dearl" he exclaimed, quite enthusias
tically. "I'll bet there won't be q
woman in the tbeater looking half 50
spick and span" and he gave her q
regular old fashioned kiss.
Mrs. Jobson spent the next few
hours like a woman in a dream. The
play was excellent, and Mr.. Jobson
was the soul of good nature. lie said
clever things to her, and even made
surreptitious love TO her between the
acts. After the play they went to the
hotel cafe and had Newburged lob.
sters, with sparkling liquid accompani.
ment. Then Mr.. Jobson put her into
IA stylish rubber-tired hanson, and
they bowled home.
my dear" said Mrs. Jobson, plead
ingly, "won't you tell me now why
you've been so perfectly love"
A foxy expression crept into Mr.. job
sons face, which she caught ms the
hanson passed under an are light.
''Well, III tell you, my dear" said
Mr.. Jobson. ~ was rummaging in the
trunks In The storeroom last night,
wasn't ~ Member that navy blue
serge suit that | wore when we went to
Atlantic City last summer2 Well, n
digging through the pockets Of that
suit found two twenties and a ten
that you'd overlooked. The bills were
in an inside pocket OF the vest. /
missed that money when We were down
at the beach, but | thought I'd lost il.
and so ! didn't say anything about It
to you. Well, seeing as how you'd over
looked nil that renl surc-enouRh
money" concluded Mr. Jobson, with n
crafty smile II thought that you were
entitled 20 good time out of il, my
how. and"
Mrs, Jobson's face during this re-
cital was study.
well" she said calmly, when Mr..
Jobson hcsItated IN his enjoyment of
the situation, II have had perfectly
lovely time and have no complaint to
make. but those two twcntics and the
len were the bills that you gave me to
put In the bank the day before yestcf-
day. didn't 90 to the bank. because il
was rnlning too hard. and | put them
in that vest. for safe keepingl"-Wash-
lngton Star.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
HOu'a ThisR

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any case OF Catarrh that cannot be cured
by Halls Catarrh Cure.
+ j. Cheney & Co, Props, Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned, have known +. =.
Cheney Tor the last jyears, and believe him
perfectly honorable IN all business transac-
tons and financially able 10 carry out any
obligations made by their firm.
West & Truax, Wholesale Druggists, To-
lcdo, O.
Walding, Kinnan & Marvin, Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo, o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces Of the system. Price 75c per bot
tie. Sold by all Druggists. Testimonials
free.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
0,43IIettcr. a nay.

The John A. Salzer Seed Co. La Crosse,
Wis. received 6,i3l orders Feb 20. which 10
monster day, but they expect to double
this number by the middle of March. The
firm is having great trade in its specIalties.
potatoes. speltz, Bromus lnermis. Rape, Big
Four Oats, Three Eared Corn and earliest
vegetables. There is a wonderful demand for
onions. cabbage, peas and bean seed this
year Early Bird Radish and Lightning Cab
bage, the earliest of this kind in the wide,
wide world. are having tremendous sale.
The firm above mentioned is a large adyer-
tser and use weekly newspapers-that tells
tho atory
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
Map Puzzle Educator.

Is Iowa as large as Maine? Which is the
Pan Handle State? What state is bounded
by four straight lines? These and many
other questions relating to the geography
of our own country, answered by the map
puzzle sent out by the Chicago Great West
ern Railway. 1t is dissected map of the
United States printed on heavy cardboard
and the puzzle consists in putting the pieces
together so as to form a complete map. 1t
will be found interesting and instructive TO
old people as well as young. II will be sent
TO our readers sending 10 cents to F. II. Lord,
G.. Z. and +. A., Chicago Great Western
Railway, Chicago, ILL.,, mark envelope "Puz'
Zle Denariment."
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
WOE,kinQ
Women

arc Invited 20 write 10
Mrs. Pinkksasss for free
advice about fIseIs. health.
Mrs. PlnItlsasss IL q Wo-
II you have painful
periods, baoka0hes Or
amy Of the more serious
MS Of women, write to
Mrs. PinkhaBss she has
holped ssHififudes. Your.
letter wifi DO sacr0ckIy
confidential.
LydIa e. PInkhansss
Vegetable COMPOUND IL
known wherever the Eng
fish language Es spoken.
Nothing else can possf-
bly, be so sure 20 help suf-
fer-irg women. No other.
sssediOiBe has helped 50
many.
Ronsomhor fhEs when
sosssefting else 10 sug-
Nosfeds
Mrs. Pfnkhans,s ad-
dress Es Lynn, Mass.
Her heiping hand 10
always oxfsfreEclsed %
suffering sxonsen.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

All families should provide them.
selves with a copy of DIR. Hartmans free
book entitled winter Catarrh." This
book consists of seven lectures on ca.
tarrh and la grippe delivered at The
Hartman Sanitarium. 1t contains the
latest information on the Treatments
catarrhal diseases. Address DR.. Ha-.
man, Columbus, Ohio.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

At dinner in rockingham lately, royal
acadcmician stated to the company the Gu
rious fact that sugar and sumac are the
only two words in English where su is pro-
nounced shu There was much interest
shown in the discovery, when Rudyard Kip
table: But, are you quite surey'-Chi'
cago Chronicle.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
HnnrIeaa nncheInr.

"What did Mr.. Cummings say to you
last night, Clara, when he was trying to but
ton your glove?'
Why, he said any man who made gloves
that wouldn't button easier than mine ought
to give up the business"
We'll, dear. take my advice and don't
waste any more time in that direction
Stray Stories
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

Any man who wishes perfect health
must be entirely free from catarrh. Ca
tarrhiswell-nigh universal; almost om-
nipresent. Peruna is the only absolute
safeguard known. A cold is the begin
ming of catarrh. To prevent colds, TO
cure colds, Is 10 cheat catarrh out of its
victims. Peruna not only cures catarrh,
but prevents it,
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
n@inen,l, sn,I,f.r,er,.

Mrs. Caller You have had the same
physician long tiine. haven't yous
Mrs. 0roeetee-Teu years.
Mrs. oalier-lIe must be srry salts.
factory.
Mrs. Grooeree- lie Is; he always ia Asu
his pay IN groceries from our stofe.--
Detroit Free Press.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

The international & Great Northern rail
way are sending out a map of Texas, Mex.
leo and surrounding territory that is an ex
cellent production OF the map engraver's
art. both artistically and geographically. The
map is made on an unusually large scale, and
is as near perfect as to details as it is pos.
sibie to make it. Mr. ID. j. Price, general
passenger and ticket agent of the system
at Palestine, Texas, is sending copies oi
this map TO anyone who asks for it and en-
closes seven cents in stamps to pay postage
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

Charged TO Account --Fa,her-"You'r al.
together too extravagant, sir. Now, what
did YOU pay for that suit you've on you!'
Son-"oh, say, pop, YOU must think I'm q
chump. Detroit Tree Press.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
Low Rate Home seekers EIcurslons.

The Missouri Pacific Railway and Iron
Mountain Route are now running a series Of
excursions TO the West and Southwest.
Tickets on sale March 9th and goth. April
3d and nth. at very low rates. Maps. fold.
ers, time cards and Illustrated pamphlets on
the various states mailed free on application
to II. c. Townsend, G.. =. 4 I. A. ST. Louis.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
Was n suIcIdeF

Brakeman-The trainboy dropped dead in
the baggage car few minutes ago.
Conductor-Poor fellowi Heart trouble,
/ suppose.
II don't think so. He had one of his
own cigars in his mouth at the time
Chicago Evening News.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

Hon Geo Kersten welnown Justice the Peace Chicago
"T uas afflicted whh eatarh for nine years. Ny caarh uu
located chiefly my head tried many 7utoat aUaA
applied to SeOeral doctors, but they able me-
learned of the remedy Peruna through daily newspapers A
taking the remedy for 10 eeks uas entirely consad nv
permanent has been and half years since as
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
Yeu can aa., Anen.. Pond. rn.e rREE.

Write today IN Allen Il Olmsted, Leroy,
n Y, for n FREE sample OF Aliens Foot
Ease, a powder 10 shake into your shoes. II
cures chilblaius, sweating. damp, swollen.
aching foet. IL makes New or tight shoes
easy. A certain cure for Corns and Bun
tons All druggists and shoe stores sell it. 25c.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

She (after the proposal)-"You know
papa is not rich" He (philosophically)--
"Oh, well, I'd rather take his chances than
mine Harlem Life.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

Piso's Cure is wonderful Cough medi-
Blake Aves,. Brooklyn. n. Y, Oct. NJ, 'p4
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

First some first served isn't saying how
weli,-Chieaso Dispatch
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

Thirty minutes is all the time required I,
dye with PUTNAM FADELESS DYES
Sold by all druggists.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
To Care a Cola In one nay

Wee are the psopls-,hs BuAhmen.--Ya
Record.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

You can't tell how strong affection is by
its sighs.-Chicago Dispatch,
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

Fortify Feeble Lnngs Against Winter
with Hale's Honey Of Horehonnd and Tar
Pixies Toothaehe Drops Cure in one minute
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

One vice gathers others like a rolling
snOwhAll.-Atehison Globe.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

A frog would leap from a throne Of gold
into a puddle.-Publus Syrus.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

The proper sire for lazy individual h
exerclse.-C hicago Daily News.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

Take Laxative Bromo Qulnine Tablets. All
druggists refuad money ifit fails 10 cure. &c.
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10

READERS OF THIS PAPER
DESIRING TO BUY ANYTHING
ADVERTISED IN ITS COLUMNS
SHOULD INSIST UPON HAVING
WHAT THEY ASK FOR, REFUSING
ALL SUBSTITUTES Oh INVITATIONS
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
IA IRON f1ouhTAIh Reg1s

Ths worlds sAnftarsun and An-Ys&r- RouBd Pe~
Resort. rssshed enly via this hns. Eegast b -
snehme 1csnsrys Dslightfal Cliratss HsaisI =.
spring. Pullman Buffss essping Cars ufthsui -,
from ~ Loufs Hsdncsd Round Trip Rats .. -
round from al coupon points in ths q o s1d - =.
erYor descriptive and Illustrated psnpslsL- -
cuup&nys AGenta. or H c. TQWNeENp. -
PasssnGsR ana T1eks4 AGsnt. ST. LOUIE. ~
The Afro-American advance., 1900-03-10
rHTs KNIYr rrTAM1

Jsns Eesa rke Tslsag TAnxesS =
lFkH rrepAy faEsEta, Fkl SazFse.
ias cNetAee EAR SeQe4 FaWEkt
ale. h<ss stast WarfAatsA knlfe util
fefNaA cf4efi aE the aaoSs eol ielrttlt
NetA ka saxtar 1seaa nrawn 81 -
The sun., 1900-01-17
WANT WILLIAM j. BRYAN.
People Of Milford Write to Mr..
Handy Asking for Speech From
the silver Man.

Former Congressman i. Irving Handy
yesterday received a communication
iromSDr. George Il. Peasanton, OF Mil
ford, in which Dr. pleasanton told how
disappointed the Democrats Of that place
we're that William j. Bryan would not
speak there during his visit TO Della
ware.
Mr. Handy said yesterday that he was
Just as disappointed as Or. Pleasan-
ton.
~ am especially anxious that Mr..
Bryan should speak at Milford" con-
tinued Mr.. Handy, "but il cannot be
arranged on account OF the trains. Mr..
Bryan speaks the night Of the 25th in
Harrisburg, and TO 20 to Milford in the
afternoon and come TO Wilmington IN
the evening would be too much ior him.
In October received petition from the
people OF Milford asking that Mr.. Bryan
speak there on his visit to Delaware. It
has been found impossible to select Mil.
ford. Smyrna may be reached and re-
turn made on the came day in time to
speak here at night, hence Smyrna was
selected"
The sun., 1900-01-17
SALISBURY R|DICULES STREET AND SEWER DIRECTORS

The Street and Sewer Directors de-
mand that the Wilmington City Rail-
way Company remove from West Sixth
street all rails and crossties placed there.
At meeting yesterday OF the directors
a resolution was adopted requesting the
Wilmington City Railway Company to
remove the rails and repaye Sixth street.
The company was given four days in
which to remove the rails and put the
bed Of the street in proper repair. In
case the Wilmington City Railway Com
pany fails to comply with the order the
street commissioner was ordered to pro-
coed with the work and the cost Of il to
be charged up to the company.
Without the slightest hesitation Preei-
dent Simmons passed judgement on one
Of the points now pending in the Court
OF Chancery. He said yesterday that the
department had not given the city COM
pany the right to use the street, as il had
been the custom Of the department for
the conditions TO be accepted by both
parties and in the case in point the CON
dtions had not been passed upon by the
board or submitted TO the railway com
pany.
Willard Salisbury counsel FOR the Will