Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-06-16
MR. JOBSON is MUSICAL


flee one afternoon about a month ago he
carried under his arm a long. coffin-hke
leather case. which he deposited with great
care on top of the piano.
Why IT'S fiddler exclaimed Mrs. job
son.
Wrong. as usual" said Mr.. Jobson.
amiably. You've another guess coming.
However, as It IS not within the range of
probability that you'd guess correctly If you
had a million coming I'll Just tell you
| what this Is. Mrs. Johson. It's a VIOLIN"
Isn't that what l.
mo. Mrs. Jobsor. that isn't what you
said. You said it was a fiddle
But what is the diff"
Just the difference between a plaster of
paris half dollar and the real thing. or a
painted ship painted ocean and a
real ship wet water. Mrs. Jobson, that s
all. 1t I'D be gust as well for you to grasp
these little distinctions. A fiddle, Mrs. job
son, is $3.50 worth of Pine wood and var
nish and catgut, and it's performed upon
by griny persons with low foreheads. no
chins to speak of, and beady eyes set close
together, who otficiate al parior socials.
farm dances ard the like. violin is-er-
well, this is a violin. You've read or heard
of Strsdivarius victims. haven't you? Well.
I think this is one of en- Got 1t from
man who keeps cigar store. He had 1t on
exhibition IN his window. I'm sorry for
that poor cigar stnCe man. for l think l
did him right out OF his eye-tceth. Paid
him only SIS for 1t, and it's got all the ear
marks and warts and Tlolea of genuine
Strad Wouldn't be surprised if some ex-
pert 'ud come along and offer mo 5000 or
so. eco for that violin. any time. This tobac-
coniSt who sold It to may know a lot
about stogies and chewing tobacco. but he
a good thing when it comes to violns. and
Mr.. Jobson took the rather battered. home
Unlocking instrument out OF its ccse and
exhibited 1t with manifest pride.
"Nhat going do with 1T In
qured Mrs. Jobson.
"Weli," replied Mr. Jobson.' with great
elaboration I'm not going to Kill it for
its hide and tallow. and I'm not going to
use 1t for kindling to light the kitchen
fire with 1 beg to inquire, Mrs. Jobson.
| what people who buy violins generally do
with emp"
TRY to play on them. I suppose replied
Mrs. Johson, meekly.
TRY to play on EN-. eh?" said MFR. job
son. with the accent on the try Just
you hang to your sarcasm until you
| need it. I've bought this violin to play on"
But" said Mrs. Jobson IT never knew
that you played the"
I'm quite aware of that. Mrs. Jobson."
said Mr.. J0bson. fcndling his purchase as
affectionatey as if it had been an heir
! loom. and taking it to the window the bet
ter to examine its points. Il may re-
mark. incidentally, that there are a whole
heap of things that you don't know. Mrs.
Jobson. I'm not in the habit of climbing
out the caves and parading my accom-
plishments. like some people I've heard tell
Of Mrs. Jobson. I may inform you, how
ever that when you were wearing dresses
down to your shoetops and before you'd
begun to tuck your back hair up under
your hat, / able to on a violin to
make folks that heard me weep or laugh
at will"
did you ever. exclaimed Mrs. Jobson.
'Then why Fave you never played since
VIC We're mar"
Because it's kept me too busy trying to
keen a home head Mrs ,IOhSOn
that's why said Mr.. Johnson. I'm go
ing to take it up again now. however, and
in about a month from date there'u be
some music around these parts thatll hurt
the suburban resorts by keeping all of our
neighbors for blocks around on their front
stoops at night. You'll accompany me on
the piano I'm going to practice up by
myself for a few weeks. and then the job
son paror concerts will begin. / don't
claim to be any Ysaye or Joachim or Mar
teau or Sarasate or anything like that.
Mrs. Jobson, but if there any old thing
used to be able 20 do better than another
before my plunge into natrimony made it
imperatively necessary for to toll and
MOL and slave. day and night, in order to
get and keep home together, why, 1t was
playing the violin. that's ALL
After dinner that evening Mr.. Jobson
opened up the packages of bridges and
strings and keys and tail-pieces and chin
rests for the violin that he had bought for
the purpose of fitting the instrument up
anew. and went to work at it. None of the
| keys fitted and he had to spend about two
hours shaving them down with a bit Of
glass. The bridge he finally selected had
to be shaved. too and 1t was quite time
before Mr.. Jobson recolected that the
strings of a violin cant be passed through
| the keys when the keys are not attached to
the violin. Two of the strings snapped
| from too much stretching. Along toward
| II o'clock at night Mr.. Jobson had finished
resining the new bow, and he drew the bow
across the strings of his $50 cigar store
Strad with horrifying effect. The music
was like the mingled wailings of condemned
souls. Mrs. Jobson made the excuse that
| she wanted to put the cat out to leave the
room, and even when she was down stairs
| in the basement she put her fingers in her
ears.
my fingers are bit stiff. and my bow
| ing arm isn't what 1t used to be. from lack
| Of practice but you just wait till l get
| limbered up after few weeks, and you'll
| hear the sweet strains around this neck O.
| the Jobson woods all right said Mr.. job
son when he put his $50 Strad away that
night.
The next evening Mr.. Jobson brought
home violin and piano collection in two
| sections. The collection was made I'D al
| most entirely of such choice classics as
| champagne Charley mot for joe" up
| in Balloon" Maggie May "Silvery
Waves. Down in a Coal Mime ''Elfn
| Waltz" "Ten Thousand Miles Away and
other concertos of the sort that were popu-
lar in the days of Mr.. Jobson's youth
Just you practice up the piano accom-
pdIiiHeHtS. SAID MI JODSOn to Mrs. job
son. handing her the piano part of the
classic collection, land I'll go into training
| in the spare room up in the attic for few
weeks. and when 1 get into form We'll
| play these things together and make the
neighbors jealous"
For about three weeks Mr.. Jobson re-
paired to the attic room Immediately after
dinner closed the door tight got out his
500 Cremona and performed thereon until
nearly midnight. He put a mute on the
strings to drown the effect of his practic-
ing. but for all that the callous world will
never know what Mrs. Jobson suffered.
Mr.. Jobson ignored the sharps and flats
altogether in his practicing. and as for
| time, he was probably of the opinion that
time was made for slaves. Mrs. Jobson
dreaded the hour when Mr.. Jobson should
demand her to accompany him on the
piano.
1t came evening last week, when
Mr.. Jobson brought his cigar store Gre
mona downstairs from the attic. opened up
the collapsible music stand and announced
to Mrs. JobSon that the concert would be-
gin by rendition of Mendessohn's Spring
Song" by the famous and notorious job
son family, who had played before crowned
heads, bunco steerers, porch climbers, ETC.,
etc.
Here the veil had better be drawn. They
hadn't been playing Memberships Spring
Song more than two and one-half min
uteS before the gang OF small bows began