The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1900-12-14
THINGS SAID ;
BY CHILDREN.
Bright, Apt or Literal Remarks
Made TO Teachers.
SOME QUEER DEFINITIONS.
Remarkable Interpretation OF a Passage
Prom The LADY Of the Lake others
Ara Equally HUMOROUS

The teachers OF the Brooklyn, n. y,
public schools have considerable fun over
the strange things that happen when the
specialists come around with new lodges
In physical culture or clay modelling but
they have 10 devote so much time TO the
fads added 10 the course OF study that
they say they fnd the children back
ward in arithmetic and spelling, just as
they are in Chicago.
In consequence of this they say many
OF the children reach the grammar
grades without knowing the meaning OF
words that appear I'm their sehoolbooks.
To prove this several of the teachers
have collected patches OF ludicrous ans
swers TO questions put TO the children.
For example. I'm one OF the schools in
the Bedford district of Brooklyn teach
er asked a little boy 10 give the definition
of the word effeminate.
The boy shouted out:"A man who parts
his hair in the middle and sings In the
Cleaning.
The teacher smiled and said: MY dear
child. where did you hear that?''
The boy replied: There was a young
man at our house on Sunday night and
he had his hair parted in the middle
and he sang the song In the Cleaning.
When he went away my sister said he
was very effeminatc"
one OF the teachers IN the boys High
school was testing the memory of the
pupils after they had for lesson the
story of the Lady OF the Lake" one of
the boys was asked 10 describe the eli
max which tells OF how Ellen Douglas
went TO ask the King TO pardon her
father.
IL will be remembered that she was told
that she would know the King from the
others i'm the room because he would be
the only one there with covered head.
The teacher read these uines:
On many a handsome gsrb she gazed,
Then stood bewildered and amazed;
For all stood bare within the room,
Fitzjames alone wore hat and plume.
IN HIS LANGUAGE.
Now" said the teacher, II want you
10 write this is your own language
And the boy wrote the following:
When the knight brought Ellen Dou-
glas into the room everyone in there was
stark naked excepting Fitzjames, who
only had on cap and plume"
In one OF the schools situated In the
Pickleville district or Brooklyn, where the
ma jority OF the pupils are of German
parentage, a teacher asked boy In the
primary department TO give the definition
OF the word treat" the sentence being.
I'VE must treat people we'll" Every boy
I'm the class raised hand and all shouted
I'm chorus:
'I know, teacherv'
We'll, what is it?''
Citing beer" yelled the crowd.
mo. IL don't" remarked another boy;
'ft means Citing beer and bretzels when
your aunt comes TO see your mother"
In another school where the teacher
asked little girl TO define gimp" the
girl answered:
That's the name of a beggar man what
begs I'm our bakery"
one of the Brooklyn high school boys
was asked to give the feminine OF hero
and he promptly answered "shero."
In one of the south BrooAyn public
schools a boy who was asked TO write
what he knew about Robert Burns wrote
this:
Robert Burns worked al his trade as a
free mason and when he was not work
Ing at his trade as a free mason he work
ed on poetry"
A teacher In one OF the Williamsburg
schools asked small boy to give the
definition of greedy.
when you don't leave none for your
brother" he said
IT was I'm n night school class i'm Brook
lyn that the teacher asked N any one
knew the meaning OF the word fable.
Dots when you ask somebody 10 do
you a fable und you say you will do a
fable for him some day" answered a
German boy.
1T names when yer git old and fable"
said young Irishman.
''No, IL don't, teacher" remarked the
tough boy OF the class; "a fable is Il
fake"
In the Pickleville district the children
arrive at school laden with food which
they begin TO eat as soon az they are
assigned TO their classes, and IL generally
takes some vehement protests from the
teacher TO convince them that school is
not continuous refreshment scheme.
one little maid last week sat calmly
eating an apple while her teacher with q
stern eye on the culprit told her that re-
cess was only legitimate time to eat app
pies.
When the lecture was over the little
maid, unabashed, raised her hand and
mildly asked:
Where shall I throw the core?"
IL often happens that the children in
the Picklevile schools tell the teacher
what they are going TO have for dinner
and ask: "Wil I bring you some sauer-
kraut and beer2' Of course the teacher
is compelled 20 decline with thanks.
Some OF the children tell the teacher
that they are not learning rapidly
enough and one who said this added:
My mother went 60 the highest school
I'm Germany and she was in the highest
class ON the top floor when she only was
in school three days"
a girl IN one OF the Picklevile schools
who ha been attending that school for
six months suddenly broke In on her tu-
tor by saying: Hey. teacher. when are
you going 20 gin 10 learn me?"
In one of the parochial schools the nun
teacher explained To the siN-year-old son
80 "a contractor that God made the world
Did he make the streets and the
world.
"pld he make the streets and the
h.-,cs md the country places?" asked
tiN puuiL
yes" said tho nun. '1Ie made every
thing
"Whew" exclaimed the contractors
heir. what lot ~ dagoos he must