The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1900-07-06
LORD MORRIS.
Stoies of Witty Irish Lawyer Now a
DISTINGUISHED Judge.

Stoes of Witty Irish Lawyer, Now a
Distinguished Judge.
representative of one Of the old
families known as the Tribes of Gal
way" Lord Morris has never lost that
mellifuous brogue which distinguishes
West Of Ireland folk This characters
tic provides the groundwork for at least
two stories told of him. On one occa-
sion the noble lord, twice an occupant of
the Irish bench was present at we'd
ding in company with Judge Keogh.
Morris was lamenting that he had for
gotten to throw an old shoe after the
bride and bridegroom. whom Keogh re-
marked: Throw your brogue after
them it will do just as we'll. AT an
other time Lord Morris was sitting at
the -Four Courts as Lord Chief Justice
of Ireland when young barrister from
the north rose nervously to make his
first motion The judge had declared
that no one listening to himself would
ever take him for anything but an Irish
man, which was perfectly correct. But
Galway could not understand Antrim.
The Lord Chief Justice leaned over the
bench to ask the associate where the
barrister hailed from. County AM
trim" was the response. Then asked
his lordship of the official did we iver
come across SIGH a frightful accnt in
the course Of yer loife?"
When Lord Morris first went the Con-
naught circuit, where he had practised
before his elevation to the bench at the
early age of thirty-nine, he gave many
specimens of his native wit. AT one
assize town the judges arrives late, and
the grand jury after being sworn in
sent down a true bill in very simple
case, intended to fill up the spare time
of the court for the heel of the even
ing. 1t was a case of the abduction of
a small farmers daughter by shop
keeper, who could not arrange the mat
ter of doWry to the satisfaction of his
sweetheart's relations. The accused
had met the maid near his shop, and
had kept her. half resisting, half con-
Senting, on his premises, in company
with an elderly female relative. The Of
fence was therefore, only of technical
character. Charlie O'Malley made a
wonderful speech for the prisoner, in
the course of which he told the frieze
coated Jurors that they were the most
intelligent, high minded and naturally
gifted men he had ever addressed. JUS
tice Morris when the proper time came
said to the jury: you have seen my
friend Mr.. O'Malley's amusing perfor-
nance. Dismiss it wrom your minds,
and don't go home to your honest wives
with peacocks' feathers in your hats to
proclaim the distinction he piles upon
you. I am compelled to direct you to
nd verdict Of guilty in this case, but
you will easily see that / think it is a
trifling thing, which l regard as quite
unit to occupy my time. 1t is more val
liable than yours. AT least, it is much
better paid for. Find, therefore, the
prisoned guilty of abduction, which
rests, mind We, on four points-the faith
er was not averse, the mother was not
opposed, the girl was willing and the
boy was convaynient." After the YER
dict the judge sentenced the prisoner to
court. Then, turning to the sheriff. he
said: Lets co. Before the boy
was clear of the dock the judges head |
appeared again. Marry the girl at /
once he said, land God bless you
both"
One day it fell to the lot of Lord Nor
IT'S TO near q case at COleIdllle, III WHICH
damages were claimed from veterina- |
ny surgeon for having poisoned valu-
able horse. The issue depended upon !
whether certain number of grains of a |
particular drug could be safely admin
istered to the animal dispensary /
doctor proved that he had often given
eight grains to man, from which it .
was to be inferred that twelve for a
horse was not excessive, Never mind |
yer eight grains, docther' said the
Judge. 1--WE all know that some poi
sons are cumulative in effect and We
may go to the edge of ruin with impu-
nifty. But tell me this: The twelve
they kill the divil
himself if he swallowed them?" The
doctor was annoyed and pompously re-
Piled IT don't know My Lord; new
er had him for a patient From the
bench came the answer: "Ah. no, doc
Their, We nver had, more's the pity.
The old bi1oy's still alive"