The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-11-23
SPINNING WHEEL.
OL-FASHIONED APPLE SASS.

\Othin like 1t. IL you please,
In the line o luXuries
Fur the table: nothin kin
Rival it ;n' hope to win!
Nectar O the gods? Why it
Hasn't got no show to git
In the same tOngue-ticklin class
With OF fashioned apple sass!
IN the days of OF lang sync
That Oh mother dear . mine
sed to make it good an sweet
huff fur amy god to eat!
Butter up IL hefty slice
OF her bread so white an nice
SinoCtn IT down as slick as class.
Ihtn pile on the apple sass!
Didn't kcer fur pie nor cake,
Dldnt sort o never take
Kindly to no fancy deal
Made for trimmin' off meal.
Nothn' didn't never fit
II our apprtites like it,
Nothin never seemed to pass
Muster like that apple sass,
Our prcSidin' elders then
WA; our eppTrureS, an when
hey would come their Judgment stood
rs the law regNrtlin food
an | can't ferGit how theT
setter smack 1heir lips an say:
Sister. guess VUu'l! have 10 pass
Ne some more that apple S;,*>!
Nilnmen claim to make it VII.
l'u' it's Jest counterfeit
Filled with spice an stuff That kills
All the apple TASTE an fills
Us OF fcllers full o cuss
When ,bey fash III front of us
This new fake they try to pass
or as good Oh apple SASS!
-Denver Evening Post
-----:O:---
George had been working Ill the sum
mrr to ge1 a place in tho brass band as
Il cornet player. and just as his hopes
seemed to be on the verge ct fuliillmcnt
she me: him on his way home from the
postotiirc, and, linking ner arm lovingly
in his. walked on in silence until they
REACHED the popular walk.
There she stopped III the long shadows.
and said:
"Georrge, I wish You wouldn't play the
cornet in the new band.''
"Why not?' said he, in snrpriSe. 1T
is the place OF honor. and I yet Il great
deal Of attention by it. GEAR"
Eyes, / know she said coaXngly. 1T
is SO nice to have you noticed by every
one, and all 'that, darling. butt
She paused and hung her curly head Il
little lower.
But vhat:" said he sharply.
"floWlng the cornet ma kcs-makes -
her voice sank to a pouting whisper
makes the lips so stiff and hard:''
She won.-Answers.
\ timber merchant was sitting in his
office one day musing sadly over the gen
eral depression in trade. when quiet
looking young man entered.
DO YOU sell beechwood?' asked the
stranger.
Yes, SIR replied the timber man. ris-
ing with alacrity. and hoping devoutly to
book Il large order: I'VE can supply it
either in the los or the plank
~ hot
said the young man. shifting his feet un-
easily. # just want a bit for fiddle
bridge. '-Tit-Bits.
Hiram had returned home from college,
where he had won high honGrS rs a stu
dent OF the ancient languages, but he
fell down. one day when his sister, a
demure young girl in her teens, asked
him to translate Il sign she had seen in
front OF an opticians office, which read
thus:
coz svLTU sABo rTYO UREY rs.
Hiram struggled manfully with it for
several minutes and gave it up.
1T isn't good Latin.' he said. There
are some words in it that are Latin, but
the others are either wrong in termina-
ticn or are barbarismS from other Ian
guages, and, taken as whole, it doesn't
make sense
That is what ] said.' rejoined ais sis
ter. but Keturah. ont in the Kitchen.
translates it without any trouble. SHE
says it means Consult rs about your
eyes,
Whereupon Hiram co]]ap@rd.-Boston
Herald. "
Il have two suits for my two boys,
says Philadelphia man, lone new and
expensive; the other very Old and ugly
and worn. They own these suits in com
mon, and the boy who gets up first in the
ward: Both boys are fond OF dress, and
so this scheme works we'll. The minute
l shout Boys, get up they spring out of
bed and make a rush for the new suit.
Sometimes they reach it together, when
there will be a hot fight over who's to
wear it, and | have to come up and re-
store order with a hairbrush.'
"While travelling on the continent las:
SUMNER said a gentleman who has just
returned from European trip, Il on
evening on arriving at an inn in Austria
| sent him to enter my name i'll accord
country The man replied that h. had
already anticipated my wishes and regis
tered me as All American gentleman Of
MEANS.
but how did you write my name:
| asked.
~ can't exactly pronounce it, but
copied it carefully from your portman
teau, sir
but it is not there l said, Bring
me the book
1.-THE register was brought, and on look
ing at it what was my amazement a.
finding, instead of a very plain English
name Of two syllables. the following por
tentous entry: Monsieur Warranted
Solid Leather "-Washington Star.
Stubb-"What became Of the Alpine
,limber-that fellow who could scale thu
stcepest ledges?''
Penn-"Contincd at home with a
broken ankle"
Stubb-"Ah! then he fell over a noun.
tain range ut last!'
Penn-".No; he fell over 4 kitchen
range while trying to corner Il mousse
Philadelphia Record.
II alters was agin these race tracks
an now I'm more opposed TO 'pm than
ever" exclaimed Mrs. Sapmnd, throw
ing down the morning paper
why SOP mildly inquired Mr. Sap