New-York tribune., 1900-05-09
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Two William McKinleys are on Uncle Sans pay
roll. One draws salary of si.166 month
President, and the other 500 month as engineer
in the Louisville Custom House. There are forty
eight Bryans. and three of them We're Christened
William. There used to be two Grover Clevelands
in the public service. but there Is only
He Is assistant farmer the Fort Peck Indian
Agency, and receives salary of $3.50 month.
Simple Prescription-"I could save more money"
break away from my friends. A fellow can't be
boor and cut all his acquantances without reason
4 will tell you what to do said the with
the brindle mustache Buy a dog
find Tars e0g he@ of his
intelligence. You just can't help It. In this man
In a recent number of "The Manila American
the Gorilla Grand Opera House advertises the
event of the season THE Geisha,' with ''all the
original scenery, dresses and effects from Days
Theatre London The scale of prices is given as
follows Boxes. hold four. s12; orchestra stalls,
sS upper circle, behind boxes, s. and gallery ST. all
Mexican money. Doors open at 6, overture at Z.
carriages at $780,
What cried the labor leader as he entered the
No" replied his wife calmly You will recall
s::What has that to do with it?"'' he demanded,
MY eight hour watch expired at o'clock this
afternoon" she answered-(Chicago Post.
The German geologist, Heinrich Schmidt of Jena.
has figured out the various periods of millions of
years which convey meaning to most minds.
into parts corresponding to parts of day. This
gives him these results: The first of the world,
the archaic or eozoic. occupied the same period
toward the whole age of the world do 12 hours,
2s minutes and AS seconds toward day. The
paIeozoic age the equivalent of hours.
minutes and 30 seconds The mesoZoic age equalled
2 hours 9s minutes and Sc seconds. The quarter
nary equalled to minutes. and finally. what we
are accustomed to call the history of the world
Ghe history the last 5000 years. amounts to only
five seconds.
Your lawyer made some pretty severe charges
"Y-e-e-s; but you ought to see how he charged
me."-(Creen Bag
1T is expected by those who have been investi-
eating the subject" says the Washington corre-
spondent of THE Chicago Record" that the
Government of Nicaragua Will ask not less than
s. 900, 900 gold and perpetual percentage of the
profits of the proposed canal consideration for
lease of strip of territory twelve miles wide.
as called for by the Hepburn bill The Maritime
Canal Company in their contract agree to give
S. 100000 and share of the receipts. and the
Cra gin Eyre concession calls for sSC000O In stock
and one-half of the net receipts after the payment
of per cent dividend upon the stock If the canal
Is built by the Government of the United States.
as proposed by pending legislation no stock will
be issued. and 1t is doubtful whether Congress
would consider it good policy for our Government
to go into partnership with Nicaragua"
Mamma-Why did you let him kiss you?
But haven't told you you must learn TO say
'No'?"
THAT'S what I did say. He asked II I'd be
very angry If he kissed me'-CTroy Times.
Business who purpose visiting Paris had
better brush up their French little; 1t may save
time which is money. and many wicked words.
well known Wall Street man the other day had
been spending the entire afternoon writing. Civ
ing his repre- most important instruc-
tions about a big he preparing for
the market, and which meant matter of 100000
to him. Looking at his watch he found he had
just time to get his letters off by taking them
himself the chief postofice. Downstairs he
went, two a time, jumped into a carriage and
told the to drive him to the poste at a galop.
OF they went grand pace, but by unknown
way. and arrived with just minute spare.
Great his surprise to find himself taken care
ence OF their chief The he tried to explain
the worse he ioundered The coachman came up
and only made matters worse. The Wall Street
had long lost the post and his temper and
his polite vocabulary. and within ace of
being sent to ChaTenton madman when the
cew to the mystery found. He had told the
coachman to drive his hardest 'au poste' (the po-
lice station. instead OF "a la pose (the postoce)
Apologies all around. but that corner came
off
He-What a splendid girl you arel Do you really
think there another person In this world jolly
you aref
She-Oh, l don't know. l may be a Jolly indi-
yidual, but think you're jollier.-C'hiadephia
Press.