The Washington weekly post., 1900-11-27
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eight hours a day imhibing jokes. Ire
spective Of age or condition, he devoured
every one that was presented 20 him.
bat ncne Of them aroused a laugh or
smile. and the day OF his funeral drew
on apace.
McVickers was about ready 10 give ~,
in despair. when one evening a tall. lank,
individual with gnarled and bitter coun-
tenance. stole softly into the room.
MY name Is Blodgett." ne announced
In a rasping voice. II have a joke that
will make YOU laugh"
Well. let's have it," said Mevickers,
wearily.
''The price Of my joke is ten thousand
dollars" responded the stranger.
Then / bid you good day" said Nc
Vlckers.
Listen 10 me-" said the man, drawing
nearer. You are suffering from an over
indulgence in cheap Jokes. Your sense OF
humor has become deadened through ex-
cesslve stimulation. Nothing can help you
now except an absolutely new and original
joke OF the purest and most exquisite hu-
NOR. There is but one such Joke In exist
ence, and / am the owner and inventor OF
u. ] have devoted twenty years OF ny
life 10 lis production. and I refuse TO part
with Ii for less than $1,000"
Ten thousands Gollarsr' repeated Nc
Vickers sadly. Perhaps. sir, you think
Tn crazy"
Il don't think anything about IT," re-
piled the man. 81 came here simply 10
tell you that my name is Blodgett-An-
drew Blodgett--and that / have a joke
that will make you laugh. I don't ask
you 10 buy 1t; but as you may change
your mind in the course OF a week I shall
drop In again al the end Of that time"
and he glided out as noiselessly as he en-
tered
BY the time the week was up McVickers
was looking forward eagerly 10 the dp-
pearance OF his strange visitor. II had
become painfully evident that the hun
dreds Of jokes he was daily consuming
were but aggravating his condition. and
he felt now that his last and only chance
lay In the ten thousand-dollar joke of
Andrew Blodgett The doctors insisted
that If he did not laugh within the next
few days he would certainly collapse and
already three funeral directors had sent
him cards
II was not until the tenth day that
Blodgett reappeared. McVickers greeted
him with outstretched hand. Il have re-
considered my decision" said he. Give
me your joke. and If il makes me laugh
I'll give you $1,000 and a music box to
boot
Those terms are not agreeable to me-
responded Blodgett. coldly. Il do not
want music box"
1T plays twelve tunes without stop
ping" interposed McVickers.
And / must have the money in ad-
xva
capabilities of the music box
But supposing the joke fails to tickle
me?' inquired McVickers, timidly.
II dent care to argue the matter" an
swered the man with a heartless snap of
his jaws. when you place in my hand
100 Sle1 bills l will tell you the joke.
have a reason for insisting on this con-
dition, which you may appreciate later
on"
Very WELL" replied McVickers, reduced
to the last stages of desperation: 'call in
Tomorrow morning and you shall have
things all your own way; only for mer-
cy's sake make me laugh"
Determined. however. to see fair play.
ne invited a number of his friends to be
present as witnesses Of the transaction:
and, accordingly, at the appointed hour
his room was well filled with guests ex-
pectantly awaiting the arrival of Andrew
BlOdgett. with his marvellous Joke.
When he arrived the money was duly
delivered to him in the presence Of wit
nesses, and after deliberately counting it.
he handed McVickers a receipt and placed
the bills in a small satchel.
Then a hush fell upon the assembled
company as each one leaned forward
eagerly to catch the words of the ten
thousand dollar joke. ''Will Mr.. McVick-
ers step into the next room with me for
a moment?' said the inscrutable Blod
gett walking toward the door and mo-
tionihg to McVickers to follow. "You
alone have paid for this joke. and Won
alone shall hear it," and the next moment
the two disappeared into the adjoining
ROOM leaving the guests both Indignant
and abashed.
several minutes passed without a sound
save Tor the low murmur of Blodgett's
voice Then suddenly there burst forth
such roar of laughter that every man
sprahg 10 his feet in startled surprise.
and a moment later McVickers staggered
back into the room holding his sides ana
sNihg vent TO peal after peal OF uncon-
trollable mrth.
His friends hastened forward and crowd
n
the uproarious merriment and Wrinoing
his hands numerically in wild coneratI,-
lation. but each time he opened his month
1t was only TO sputter for an instant and
then give way TO a paroxysm of hilaritv.
and the more he laughed the more his
friends laughed, until the house rang
with chorus of wild and hysterical
rirth. And in the midst of the comrro-
ton the mysterious Blodgett stole awav.
From sheer exhaustion McVickers final
~ sank upon a sofa. '"reli us the ioke,"
cried his friends. Tell US tie joke9"
"Oho. it's the greatest joke, Ohio, OHIO.
oh, OH sobbed McVickers, slapping his
knee and endeavoring in vain 10 control
himself. ''The funniest thing you ever
oho Ohio. Ohio. no. no. ha, ha, ha,.' and
bending over until he was in danger az
falling off the sofa he broke forth again
into perfect shrieks of laughter.
In vain he wriggled and stamped his
feet. He could not stop. He grew red
and then purple in the face. The tears
CoGrsed down his swollen cheeks His
body shook and heaved with convulsions.
lie swayed back and forth. dealing him
self resounding slaps first on one knee
and then on the other, while his voice
rose - piping falsetto until 1t died away
tn feeble squeak
Then suddenly the commissions stopped
de dropped back heavily upon the sofa.
His laughter ceased and he remained calm
and motionless. The joke had been too
much for his feeble strength.
a ruptured blood vessel told the story
at the autopsy, and Timothy McViekers
was duly laid away with a remnant Of
his ten-thousand dollar laugh still lurking
about his mouth in the form of smiling
wrinkles.