The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1900-12-15

Cuticura and CASTLE, Centennial ant
Dilemma, Virchus Mary and Judas Is
CARROT! What a martial ring in Eman
ual Macmillan SMALL WHAT NOR,
improbable, and yet delightful, thar
to find Samson and Delilah living ii
sweet content beneath one roof, ant
George and Martha Washington linked
In matrimony, while their son Para
bles " dings and dongs at the wife
washin' business, kas there ain nc
money cen it,"
JEFF Davis and Abe Lincoln were
twins, as are Septimus and Octavius.
Among the rich and well-to-do, names
seemed to have been given with view
to daily use. Among the poorer class
es, the children each dragged around
a couple or more wildly romantic
names, unfit for this worlds wear and
tear. Absurd enough, yet pathetic.
Too poor to give aught else, mother
can give names richly and aboundlnglv.
One whom questioned told me that
she was dissolute widow by choice.
She had had no end Of chances since
she buried her husband, but she was
one of them that believed that when
you are lucky enough to get out of q
trap, it showed mighty little gumption
to walk into another. "And you want
my diseased children ?" she asked.
" I've got four of them" After setting
down each bill of particulars, she re-
marked that she didn't see what use
had for the dead ones. | replied that I
had no manner of use for them. swell,
what did you take 'em for? Didn't
tell you they were diseased {? +" with a
look of plying contempt for one who
was so ignorant of her own language. I
apologized for my stupidity, elimi-
mated the " diseased" and pursued my
quest for the quick.
Another seemed to anticipate each
question with a nervous do-your-worst-
I'm-prepared air. WE'LL" she said
when it was all over, is that all? And
you don't really ask people if they have
false teeth, or dye their hair, or bow
their legs, or have hereditary diseases,
or any of their family are in the peniten-
tiary?" l assured her that the govern
ment was not collecting family skele-
tons.
Others forced their family skeletons
upon me. heard hard truths about
erring, lazy and stingy husbands; hard
er ones, still, about sons wives; and
had explained why so many of their
daughters stayed single. 1t was lit
tie wearisome to be invited SO often to
become the confidential adviser of their
domestic difficulties. Several asked
me to find good positions for them, and
q number of mad0nnas of the pots, de-
scendants of. Milesian kings, whispered
10 me between the door and the gate |
hat they had fallen from once high |
estate, and now served when once they |
Used to command. The ladies all at
their fallen fortunes to hus-
,and and whisky combine.
1t passes understanding why so many
should have supposed that the /
census had no use for young babies.
Why, he's only four weeks old! You
urely don't want him?" asked one of
hese. Only>the sense that must up
old the dignity of a great nation kept
ne from replying in the vernacular,
All kids look alike to me-"
tive called to take the census, was
~ greeting to an old, kind-faced NAM
~, who sat in her low, -bottomed
1air before her cabin door,. She was Z
lsy with some work in applique-the
Ijusting of huge, sprawling red patch i
to pair of Paris green trousers
(" Fuh Gawd sake, honey, yuh sholy
n CINE to TEX wot leettle de ole
man got lef'?"
The negroes, with all their absurd
accuracies, fitted more easily into the
nsus than the Germans of the lower
lss. An interview with these was
set with prickles and thorns. They
re exasperatingly dense, dogmatic
d determined to get the truth about
smselves out of themselves, no mat
how painful the process. Without
ingle exception, every German,
en- asked about his nativity, claimed 4
rope as his birthplace. To him Eu-
'eswas Germany. This i fancied on
a variant of that national egotism of
ich the Kaiser is the ultimate ex-
lent, so happily hit off in the satir-
s 6 Me und Gott."
he delightful, lovable Irish were glad
proclaim themselves from the " old
ntry." The Chinese were as close
uthed as though the census spelled
que incubation and the partition of
ma, while the dagoes swept you off
r feet with flood of Incompetent
e non-information. l had exper-
,e with people from whom questions
to be extracted with a corkscrew.
My one person refused to answer a
lie question. He said that in the
rse of his life he had answered
lsands of these vain and searching
stions, and no good had ever come
!. He had never won lottery
ct, nor even received a bag of seeds,