New-York tribune., 1900-05-06
GLEASON'S TRAINER OF HOMES"
WHEN HIS HEART IS WEAK HE RIDES FEW
MILES ON HIS FASTENED sTEED


Patrick j. Gleason, the erstwhile emperor OF
Long Island City. glanced at his watch and, rising
from his seat, left his office and retired to his
living apartments in the same building. few
moments later his massive form blocked the door
way. clad in costume which looked like cross
between the habiments worn by golf players and
those of a bicycle racing
The startling appearance Of the big ex-Mayor
nearly caused the other occupants of his Office to
fall off their seats in sheer astonishment. When
they had somewhat recovered their faculties, one
of them Counsellor Tom Burke, timidly inquired
the of the ex-Mayors strange attire.
'An didn't ye iver a gentleman in riding
costume before?" demanded the honorable Patrick,
he adjusted his harness and looked paned
Surely you not going to ride horse, with
your heart in the condition that it is said the
Counsellor when you know that any little excite
ment might bring fatal attack?'
Me heart is it?" replied the deposed burly chief
tain; sure an I know it has always been the
biggest thing about me modestly), but 1 am not
going ride horse to-day. but bicycle"
BE tn great horn spoon!" exclaimed an old Of
flee retainer, IAN it's not wan ev thin divils In
vntons that yes going to trust yerself on?'
It's that an nothing else. sure said Mr. Glea-
son, as he walked over to a corner of the big
office and pulled the cover off curious looking
object which stood there. 1t looked like a bicycle,
enough, but it appeared to be fastened to the
floor by means of a wooden frame.
BE gob an they've fixed ii so it can't away
wild ye at any rater' exclaimed the old retainer
facetiously.
An it's that ignorant that We Ye ought to
he houldin high position in the English army, "
mumbled the ex-Mayor. with the assistance of
the entire Office and several chairs he finally
succeeded IN mounting the strange machine.
While this is a bicycle, proudly said the former
monarch of Long Island City from his throne
he gazed bengnantly on his astonished subjects.
at is not one CT thin common vans that you fell
lows ride in the streets. This is gntemins BIZ
cycle-wan that he ride in the sacred precincts
of his home away from the common herd"
An what moight be tn name NV it?' tmidly
inquired the old retainer.
It's a housewarmer-no, "a trainer of homes" q"
answered Mr. Gleason. he worked valiantly to
get his large feet into the toe clips.
1T looks more loike a breaker up uf homes then
ennythng else" resumed the irrepressible old re-
tainer as he edged off toward the door.
''Th divi take you, anyway" ansry replied the
ex-Mayor What difference does it make what
the name is. It's trainer. that's what it is,
and I'll show you how work it
With that he began moving his feet and the
pedals flew around at great rate. He kept it up
for about two minutes, and, when he brought the
I've ridden two miles,
BE Be-! tn mither of 81 Patrick, ye haven't moved
Look at the eycometer! Look at the cyclometer!''
Sure tn ould mans gone clane daffy an no
mistake echoed the old retainer, as he shot out
sumed his pedalling. After bit he stopped again.
pulse. He counted the beats until they reached
forty-two, then putting the watch back in his
pocket. he began pedallng again harder than ever.
After keeping it up for time he finally stopped.
and, watch in hand, took another census OF his
pulse. This time he counted forty-fodr, which
seemed to give him great satisfaction as he got
or the home trainer. saying that that would do
for the present.
BY the time the burly ex-chieftain had changed
appeared in the Office, he found it filed with dyed
in-the-wool members of the Clan Gleason. The
annxely depicted upon their faces showed con-
clusiVely that the news spread about the town
by the old retainer had had it's effect
There was only one thing left for the ex-Mayor
to do. and that was TO follow his usual custom in
such cases, and make a speech. This he did and
in it he told his hearers that while his physicians
had insisted that he had heart trouble as we'll as
about every other disease that man was heir TO
he had come to the conclusion that he knew much
more about the condition of his anatomy then the
doctors did
Now. me friends he continued from a close
study OF meself. / know a good deal about
mese!f than most men know about thmselves and
tuck to the bicycle for me health nothing else.
Ye needn't think that am turning into dude or
that you'll be seeing me play golf next.
Il may not be top / was, but |
have not got down to that yet. But YOU see me
blood don't circulate like il should There's always
times get blue from the lack of it. 1t is when the
blood don't properly circulate that l ride the
When me pulse gets down to forty I feel that
/ an am IN a dangerous condition: All 1 have TO do
then IS 10 Jump on me bike and ride like Oud Harry
until II gets up 70 forty-three or four and l am
a new man. That's what doing when was
counting the beats of my pulse he the watch. |
tell you boys II Is big thing, and if any of YOU
have a weak heart you had better try it,
A pig shout greeted the ex-Mayor at the end Of
his speech after which the Clan Gleason dispersed
right after all. despite the tale of horror told by
his retainer