Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1900-08-25
SLIPS OF THE TONGUE
THINGS THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN
SAID DIFFERENTLY.
Errors Into Which C1ergymen and
Others Are Sometimes Led by Bash
fulness or Absent Minde dness, or a
Little of Both.

! Mainly About People has collected the
following curious slips of the tongue:
fashionable congregation was once
startled by hearing the reverend gen
ueman announce that they were about
to sing Hymn No. 35S-From Iceland's
Greasy Mountains" After this they
listened with equanimity when they
were reminded that they should not
covet their neighbours house, nor his
'oss, nor his axe" Preaching before a
varsity congregation on the Queens
diamond jubilee, he remarked, impress
slvely: "Now, my brethren, you have
queer dean, very queer dean, a
very queer dean indeed" AS it was
widely known that he had recently a
serious difference with the dean OF his
college, the slip was intensely enjoyed.
The same reverend gentleman once
assured his hearers that they all knew
what it was to have "a half-warmed
fish" within them. "a half-formed
wish" he meant. On another occasion
be referred to Bon the BAPTIST" Feel
Ing dimly that there was something
wrong, he tried to correct matters:
mo, no; mean the BAPTIST Bonn'
Another dear old college gentleman
had occasion to reprimand an under
graduate who had wasted two cOnsecu-
tive terms in youthful folies. After
lecturing the delinquent severely in his
queerly high-pitched voice, the dean
finished by saying: 81 am sorry to
have to speak so severely to you, but
l am credibly informed that you have
broken many rules of the college; you
have been incorrigibly lazy, and, to
cap it ALL you have deliberately tasted
two worms"
Are you fond of music, Mr.. ----?"
"Yes," was the divine's answer, but
l don't know very much about it. |
don't think l have a very good ear; in
fact, the only two tunes l really know
are God Save the Weasel and Pop
Goes the Queen"
And this reminds one Of a dinner
tale. The stage was dessert. Hostess
What will you have, Mr. Jones?
There are nuts, oranges, figs" Mr.,
Jones-"Pigs, fleasr'
At the licensing session held n GER
tain WeSt-country town recently the
chairman, dealing with the statutory
limit OF bona tide travellers and getting
his expressions little mixed, referred
to it as being "three miles as the flow
cries. A limb of the law who was
engaged in the case yentured to cor
rect his worship. With a deferential
smile, this exponent tried to amend the
phrase: Your worship means as the
fly crows'-or rather" he added hasti-
ly, las the cry fowsr" No one was
sufficiently rash to make further at
tempt.
1t would not be fair to mention the
name of the modern Mrs. Malaprop,
who recently made the Quaintest faux
pas. The conversation turned on q
forthcoming fancy dress ball, to which
all the house party was going. She
was asked what dress she proposed to
wear. I'm having a dress copied from
an old French print. It's the period
Of the revolution. The picture Is one
of Marat being murdered in his bath
by Charlotte BronteP' 1t would have
been most impolite to correct her, and
40 one ever knew whether it was mere
ignorance, confusion of ideas, or alb
sence Of mind.