The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1900-12-22

One day in presiding at table at his
country home in Windsor, VT, with a
swarm Of grandchildren about him,
Senator William NJ. Evarts is said to
have asked: what is the difference
between this goose before dinner and
me after?" After muchs futile guess
ing, he answered, in quiet glee: Now
the goose is stuffed with sage, and
soon the sage"-pointing to himself
will be stuffed with GOOSE
The Rev. Mr.. Alcott of Elgin, ILL.,,
II of Abraham Linceln's Springfield
acquaintance, tells of seeing him com
ing away from church unusually early
one Sunday morning. 1.-THE sermon
could not have been more than half
way through" say Mr.. Alcott, 'His
son Tad was slung across his left
arm like a pair of saddle-bags, and Lin
coin was striding along with long and
deliberate steps toward his home. On
one of the street corners he encounter
ed a group of his fellow-townsmen.
Lincoln anticipated the question which
was about to be put by the group, and,
taking his figure of speech from prac-
tees with which they were only too IA
miliar, said: Gentlemen, l entered this
colt, but he kicked around so l had to
withdraw him.
When Senator James Stephen Green
of Missouri boarded at the National
Hotel at Washington, D. c., he was
very popular with the guests of the
hotel. Chairman r. r. Hit of the COM
mittee of foreign relations, found out
that Green was not much of a church
goer, and insisted that the Senator
should mend his ways in that regard.
One Sunday he was late for dinner.
The women asked him why. 81 have
been attending divine worship" re.
piled the Senator gravely. ITO what
church do you 60, S%enator?" asked a
woman. 81 don't know answered the
courtly Missourian. who preaehed?'
they asked. Il don't know he said;
Il walked up the avenue, turned up
Fourth street, and entered a church
on the left-hand side" This was an
Episcopal church. "How did you like
the service?' asked another woman
at appeared to me-" answered the
Senator, that there was too much
reading of the journal and too little
debate"
In the early days of steamboating on
the Ohio river they had only stern
wheel boats, and old Commodore Nc
Cullough of Cincinnati conceived a
scheme to build and launch a palace
"side-wheeler," which would by grace
of her beauty and size run the stern
wheelers out of the trade" He car
ried his ideas to a successful and beau
tiful finish, and sent her on her initial
trip, and she came back $500 loser.
The natives along the river would not
ship on her, nor would they ride on
her. nor trust their live stock on her.
They couldn't see the wheel go
round" So the Flora Belle made trim
after trip, burning from $500 to 81, 200
worth Of coal and taking in perhaps
5000. The newspapers took it Up, and
it was street talk about what a FROST
the Flora Belle was. At this time the
old National Theater was the bon ton
theater of Cincinnati, and it's gallant
men and lovely women thronged the
performances. One night the commo-
dore attended a performance of one of
those Bertha, the Sewing-Machine
Girl' dramas, with a ''hyperbole" hero
inc, and there was n scene in which
the lover proposed marriage. $40"
said the heroine, Il can never be your
wife, Harold. You are wealthy. YOU
are a millionaire, while I am only a
poor sewing girl. If I marry you all
my friends will say 1t was for your
money, and I love you, darling, for
yourself. Get rid of your money, nv
darling. and I will be your WIFE" And
she made her exit in tears. The lover
walked up and down the stage, wiring
ing his hands. "How," he cried, .how
can l win her? How can l get rid of
my money!" That was the old commo-
dore's cue. He rose up In the center Of
the parquet and shouted: Buy the
Flora Belle"
All a man has to do in order to make
other men believe he is wise is to give