The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1900-11-08
SAID BY THE BARBER


structionist who gets shave, shampoo
and haircut on Saturday night when the
line of Next" is long drawn out is hated
by the philanthropic who take advantage
Of such times to get merely light shave.
Another species of nuisance now preempts
the barber chair in the person of the indi-
vidual who wishes to have his whiskers
"staked out" Although the eskimos and
the Laplauders have no whiskers to shield
them from the winters blast, many men in
habiting zones where the climate is less
rigorous consider it safeguard to grow
boards during the winter. These men are
now in large and active evidence, their face
resembling the upholstery of haircoth fur
eiture that has experienced hard service.
This is the time when their friends do not
know them and their families bear the brunt
Of suffering
A barber seldom resents being inter
viewed, for as a class BARRIERS are not notori-
Gus for reticence. A barber will willingly
furnish advice in family matters and legal
affairs, will discuss the influence of trusts
the advancement of science, theological dog
mas or ward politics with a freedom that
metaphorically floors the helpless victim
pinioned in his chair and quivering under
the fire of questions and the scrape of
bershop you have certain literature thrust
into your hands. 1t is freely illustrated
with anatomical studies of the most revolu.
tionary kind. Then you are pulled back in
the chair until it is evident that you are
thoroughly uncomfortable. There is
choking sensation at the throat as the ton
sorial artist pushes a rough towel into your
shirt to make a watertight joint at the
neck Then you get rubbed and lathered
and lathered and rubbed until the epidermis
almost slips its moorngs, and you wonder
why all the BARRIERS are not given osteopathy
diplomas During this time you have been
showered with a column of questions, set
in sohd nonpareil, that you are poweress to
answer. Next comes the swish of a razor,
that may lift out hair Indian fashion, ac
companied by the query: Does it cut all
right" You may bleed like Bozzaris but
you are bound to close your eyes, silently
nod assent and reserve your verbal kick"
"Well," haid a local barber to a stalwart,
stubbily- patient whose head had
just lost its hair by reason of a cyclone clip
per, don't you want those staked out for
the winter?"
The loss of hair revealed a white steak
vividy contrasting with coat of tan above
the collar line, and the barber regretfully
called attention to it, suggesting the advisa
bility of allowing the beard to cover as
much of the face as possible. A man does
not look his best with a close-cropped head
and growth of alfalfa-like whiskers, but
as it lies in the power of barber to make
man look like a monkey or a demigod, it ID
best to let him have his way without argu.
ing the question.
"How do you want it staked-like tenor
or like a prince?"
"Well," responded he Of the lost hair,
show the mischief am | to knowy'
easy" responded the shaper-up of heads.
Gust look 'em over"
He thrust into the apron-covered hands
Of the visitor the inner cover of periodical
Illuminated in high colors with faces and
heads of notables showing whisker growing
and hair-parting in variety "They are
published every spring and fall, explained
the barber, like any other fashion-plates.
You don't suppose we cut hair any old way,
regardless of style, do you?' asked the bar
ber, with a superior sort of grin.
Il supposed you sized up man." replied
the customer, ''and made your alterations
accordingly. In other words, you broadened
out a hatchet-faced man and made dish
faced party look reasonably symmetrical
sort OF on the square.
81 guess you want those whiskers of
yours set out in Dick Croker fashion," said
the man with the razor, as he pointed to
the face of the Tammany leader. 'the
David b. Hill 'sideburns' are fine for a man
with high forehead, must say" contin-
ued he, reflectively, as he gazed at the sage
of Wolfort's Roost.
''Do your customers come and request to
have their hair cut and their boards
trimmed after the fashion of certain celeb
rities?" queried the man in the chair.
Certainly, that's why we must keep post
ed. What would be the use of barber
schools? Any horse clipper can cut hair. If
you want to keep up to date you must study
not only hats and collars, but facial fix
lures and hair arrangements. You don't
want customer to look like criminal if
you can make him appear like statesman.
Why, Mayor Harrison is as proud of his
Hair as he used to be of his bicycle. We are
having calls for the man of destiny cut ever
since he gave out the cue last week.
1--WE once had a lot of demand for the Alt
geld clip, but that was when he was gov
arnor. The Tanner style means trouble if
The party has not got long hair; his hair
urls like Sandows. The baldheaded men
AXE to Chauncey Depew's style of whis-
5ers; some folks call 'em surgeons sponges,
md young doctors ike 'em immensely; the
Few doctors always start practicing with
Fhiskers, you know. Lots of new preach
rs thinks it gives them weight to have
Talmadges'
''If you look about you you will see a lot
# smooth-iaced fellows wearing their hair
sort Of roll over the collar. They are