The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-10-05
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uOu you udily ulun because IKE
his attentions. "-Brooklyn Life
My wife is helping run one of these
rummage sales" well, don't you like
it?' Like it? Oh, yes; I lived all
last week on ham bone and this week
l suppose shall have to subsist Oh let
tuce." -Indianapols Press.
Automatic grand opera: Mrs Brown
(at Mrs Smiths tea)-Oh, dear, that
dreadful Miss Smith is singing again.
| wonder what started her? Tom
Brown (aged 81 dropped a penny
down her back when she wasn't look
ing.-Chicago Journal.
Il must confess to a great deal OF
egotism," said Willie Washington. IN
deed" responded Miss Cayenne. Eyes.
| think about myselfentirely too much
"Oh, that isn't egotism. That's merely
the usual human tendency to worry
over trities. '-Washington Star.
Where is the American scction:'
asked the visitor to the Paris show.
"Oll, monsieur" replied the polite at
tendant, ne Americanes! ley are
such great peoples-and we lofe them
so much-it is all yours-effery sec
ion!'-Philadelphia North American.
Solitary Angels: Mamma-It is very
naughty to tell lies, Eva. People who
DO so don't go to heaven. Eva-Did
|yo never tell a lie, mamma? Mamma
No, dear, never. Eva-Won't you BE-
fearful lonely in heaven, mamma, with
only George Washington ?'-COlliers
Weekly
The mature maiden who was prepar-
ing to go downtown to have her pho
1oSraph taken, surveyed herself criti-
caliy once more in the mirror Il think
l prefer to Go my own retouching,' she
said, opening another jar, and reaching
for the necessary implements Chicago
Tribune
"Werc YOU interested in the piano re-
>i,al: asked the musician. well, an
>wcrcd Mr.. Cumrox, 1T was a little
slow 1T first; but after l caught the
spirit OF it and got to guessing with the
others whether it was time to applaud
or only rest, it got to be quite Il
game. Washington Star.
II tc!i you now you can ind out
said her big brother. Next Tuesday
is his birthday: make him Il present OF
box OF cigars like you gave me Christ
mas. But how will that prove his
loVc:' asked the innocent maid III
he smokes them himself he loves YOU;
If be gives them away he DOESN'T
Chicago News.
'l'hi You say this was comic opera
war;: asked the Filipino soldier who
came into camp with a flag OF truce
'That remark has been made" "Wel!,
our general says ne's willing to take
YOU 1T your word. He wants to know
If you can fix the show up 50 there will
be fewer marches and more dialogue"
Washington Star.
DEAR me- she said. Il wonder what
has become Of that household journal:'
He 0iunt say word. There was an
other recipe in it that I wanted to
try.' lie smiled, for now lie was as
surcd tina; he had done wisely, when
he burned it. Even good atured
man may grow weary Of having cx-
peril!cn1s tried upon hm.-Chicayo
Post.
"Now, hoys," said the teacher to I'll:
Juvenile class in history, "Who can tell
me what Gen. Washington said to his
lieutenant while crossing the Delaware
amid the floating ce:" Il can replied
a yOuuySter at the foot CT the class.
'"Ncll. Tommy, what did he say
uueried the teacher. He said, How'd
! iva NO
the incorrigible Tommy. 49, Trained
Motherhood.
Il don't see why people yroWl s.,
about the crowds OF shoppers" she
said; Il have had no trouble at all
How do you manage it, they asked
Il take my two boys with me- And
can they really help your Can they
really help me!'' she exclaimed; well,
l should say so. One Of them played
right tackle Oh his college football
team and the other is champion ca,rll-
as-catch-can wrestler OF his Glass;
Chicago Post.
Yes, George, you very distinctly
said in your sleep, is it my arte*
Now, what did you mean by that"
Mean? Why, that's simple. was
dreaming l was a boy again. waitin:
for Christmas. And when another boy
, asked me if didn't know who Santa
! Claus was, l said, questioninsly, is it
, my auntie? The dear old lady brou3nc t
f. me up, you know" "Oh, you darling.
big-hearted boy."-Clevcland Pla IA
Dealer.
, Il SUPPOSE said the woman WHO
had sampled every kind of candy she
could reach by thrusting her arm over
the protective railing, and finally had
Y bargained for five cents worth of but
: terscotch, "all this is adulterated. You
t couldn't sell it SO cheap if it wasn't"
0 Eyes, ma'am," returned the salesman.
: solemnly, Its all adulterated. Thas
; butterscotch you're getting, for in
j stance, has mighty little butter and
not bit of Scotch. ''-Chicago Tribune.
She had asked the advice Of the FAM
| ilv nhySician cold Mr. Erooc,e hoe :,