davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-02-17
See 1hrough Th.m Th.n

"Mr. Grave" said the editor, you'd
better call In the services of a carpen-
ter, and have the bill sent TO the Office. !"
What do want with carpenter ?''
demanded the humorist.
Have few windows put in your
jokes."-Philadelphia North American.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-02-17

MRS. CARRIE CHAPMAN GAIT.
suffrage for nearly half a century and
declined reelection to Office. Mrs.
Blake, who had been urged by many
OF her friends to become a candidate
for the Office, withdrew her name be-
fore any nominations were made. With
the exception of the president, all Of
the old officers were reelected.
The retirement of Miss Anthony
caused genuine and heartfelt regret
among the members OF the association,
and when the announcement OF the
vote naming her successor was made,
many of them went.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-02-17
HAD HIM THERE.

"Whati call this blooming fare?
You're far from q gentleman, mister"
"Jusso; but I'm pretty close to a
blackguard. Ally Sloper.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22
Ten Dollars for a "Strad!"

English connoisseurs of violins are
just now discussing the reality of a
"Strad" which, it is alleged. has been
rescued from the shop in the Midlands
of pawnbroker who did not know its
value. According to the story, says
the Lon don Daily Telegraph, an itine-
rant musician was unable to pay his
bill at an inn in Wolverhampton and
left his violin instead.
The landlord took it to a pawn
broker and raised little money on it,
and gave the owner the ticket, so that
he might redeem it when his services
were financially more appreciated
than up to then they apparently had
been. That consummation never ar
rived, and as Boniface could play a
little he purchased the unredeemed
fiddle from the temporary holder for
$40 and played on it for his own
amusement. Everybody was struck
with its peculiarly rich tone, and at
last, acting on advice, he submitted it
to experts, who declared it to be real
"Strad." Inside was found the in
scription, "Antonius Stradivarius,
l716." This remarkable fiddle will
no doubt form the subject Of many
more discussions
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22
Brakeman Was Disguised.

An incident took place not over 100
miles from Coldwater not down on the
time card. AS No. 15 was pulling out
of the station a brakeman noticed a
woman running across the park toward
the train. He supposed she wanted
to get aboard and pulled the bell cord
and stopped the train. He jumped
off the car to assist the lady aboard,
but he had no more than struck the
ground when man jumped off be-
hind him and ran toward the woman.
He beat the brakeman there, threw
his arms around the woman, kissed
her and ran back to the train. When
the brakeman recovered his senses and
realized what had happened, he threw
his hands over his head and yelled in
disgusted tone of voice, "Is that
all?" 1t was a case of where a man
forgot to kiss his wife before leaving
home, and little thing like holding
up a passenger train did not daunt
the woman. She wanted to be kissed
goodby. Coldwater Courier.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

The spectacle of the absent-minded
man frantically going through his
pockets in vain search for his trans
fer ticket while that valuable sky-blue
document dropped gracefully beneath
his mustache was hugely enjoyed by
the passengers of an uptown car the
other evening. Even the stolid con-
ductor caught the joke and betrayed
an amount of patience which should
have aroused suspicion on the part of
the victim. Finally, when the trans
fer threatened to be entirely de-
molished, the conductor mildly indica-
ted its locality to the embarrassment
of its owner and the delight of his fell
low travellers. Presently the absent
minded man reached his corner, and
as he got to the rear he stuck his
head back into the door and fred a
parting shot at the conductor: eta ia,
old boy. That's all right. The trans
fer was week old, and / was Just
chewing off the date. New York
Commercial Advertiser.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

No one can meet and talk with the
English people and not be thoroughly
convinced of their admiration and
friendship for Americans. They have
really an exaggerated idea of their
capabilities and achievements, and of
the wealth and power of the co ntry.
Uncle Sam has proved an equal match
in what John Bull considers the great
est objects of life-making money and
winning battles. He now regards
America as one does poor relation
who has come into fortune. The
ties of kinship have suddenly become
strong. England fears but one danger
"a coalition of European powers.
France and Germany, or Russia and
France, might threaten her supremacy.
SIN that case"-I have heard this
said again and again-''of course we
should expect the United States to
come to our assistance and fight by
our neutrality-suspicious. New York
Sun,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22
TOO GOOD AN ACTOR.
The Man Who Interrupted the Speaker
Overdid His Part.

Ahe MAN VINO interrupted the Speaker
Overdid His Part.
II know I oughtn't to give this
away" said a New Orleans politician,
"but it's too good to keep. The other
day happened to drop into the office
OF one of our campaign orators and
noticed the manuscript of a speech
which he proposed to deliver that
night lying on his desk. Without
thinking any harm I picked it up, and
IN running my eye over the first few
pages was surprised to find the thread
OF the argument interrupted here and
there by voice from the audience,
which asked impertinent questions.
In each instance very pat answer
was written down, and I saw at once
that little comedy had been pre-
pared in advance to show off the
orators skill at repartee. I laid the
manuscript down and said nothing,
but that night I went out to the meet
ing to see the fun. Knowing exactly
where the first interruption was going
to occur was on the alert when the
place in the speech was reached, and,
sure enough, up popped tough
looking individual and fired of
question No. l. I must admit the
scene was we'll acted. When the
question was asked the audience
laughed and then waited eagerly to
hear what the speaker would say. For
a moment he seemed embarrassed and
disconnected, and then, just as every
body thought he was completely cor
nered, he suddenly Strengthened up
and shot back reply so apt and witty
that it turned the tables in n twink
ling. The effect was electrical, and
the whole house went wild. I snick-
cred in my sleeve and waited for in
terruption No. 2, which passed off
with equal eclat for the orator.
''In fact, the scheme would have
been great success if the interrupter
hadn't played his part too well. He
was so extremely natural and gave
such fine imitation of a hobo bent
on breaking up meeting that when
he started in the third time big
policeman grabbed him by the neck
and put him under arrest. He tried
to protest, but it was no go, and in
three minutes he was on his way to
Jail. After the meeting was over the
orator hoped into cab and hurried
down to bail him out. / understand
he was pretty sick of his job, and un-
less substitute can be found the rest
of my friends speech will probably
be made without repartee trimmings"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

that assignment and I've decided not
to keep it."
' nst as you please" Mr.. Black
sal. indifferently. ''But what's the
matter? Why won't you keep it?"
He glanced suspiciously at Mark.
"Well, 1 can't make out that it be-
longs to me. 1 can make it sound all
right, but somehow I can't make it
feel right"
This time Mr.. Black smiled, the
same queer smile. Mark opened his
mouth to speak, but Phil gave him no
chance.
"You gave the chance to me, Mr..
Black, and L give it back to'--he
paused the fraction of a second. 1t
was Mark that smiled this time; Mr..
Black was scowling-''to John War.
ner. 1t really belongs to him."
Mr.. Black unconsciously drew a
long breath.
''Warner shall have it," he said, in
his usual business tone. Then he
surprised Phil by suddenly shaking
hands with him. "You'ye come
through it WE'LL" he said cordially.
Hasn't he, Appleton?"
But Appleton had not waited to an
swer any questions.
cit will do your father lot of good
when he knows about it," said Mr..
Black, still holding the young fellows s
hand.
"Father? Oh, he won't know any
thing about it," Phil said in half
wistful, half shamed tone.
won't hep" Mr.. Black laughed
out. "Well, perhaps. He was will
ing that should make the test, but
he told me just how it would turn out.
He was sure that his boy would come
to no real harm-yet. Now go back
to your work, and after this-well,
such father as yours is just about
the best adviser young fellow can
have"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

let it go at that. Those people will
tell their readers about my praise
worthy industry and my wonderful
sagacity and my indomitable energy"
He laughed contemptuously and
took up the letter again. ''What do
they mean by an inspiration? he
asked himself. ''I wonder whether
reading what I write about myself
will make any boy beginning life
pattern himself after me. If I thought
So"
He became thoughtful and pressed
his pen into the blotting pad until he
broke the nib. At last he raised his
fist and brought it down on the table
with bang.
''Ill draw the line here" he ex-
claimed. ''This is the jumping off
place. I ought to be able to afford to
quit this sort Of thing"
Whereupon he folded up the CUB
lisher's letter and, taking up the
carnelian and gold pen, wrote on it
for the instruction of his secretary:
INIT. "-Kennett T. Harris, in Chi
cago Record.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

"The schools in the majority of our
cities have so far overcome the habit
of resorting to corporal punishment
that the school room now assumes the
atmosphere of a pleasant and urbane
assemblage of well-mannered family
in the home. The air of freedom and
polite behavior takes the place of the
suppressed and sullen mien of old
times. The significance OF this upon
the formation of the future citizen in
a democracy is obvious" observes
United States Commissioner of Edu-
cation Harris.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22
LYooITE is A FEARsoME THING.
The Destructive Explosive Which Great
Britain is Using In Africa.

The Destructive Explosive Which Great
Britain is Using in Africa.
General Joubert has protested to
General White against the use of lyd-
dite, on the ground that its use is q
barbarism, intolerable in ''civilized'
warfare.
Lyddite is made by treating carbolic
with nitric acid. 1t is therefore picric
acid. But picric acid is so enormous
ly explosive i'll its impulses as to be
incapable of use or even of safe han
ding. In the manufacture of lyddite
picric acid is subjected to secret
process which renders it as safe to
handle as ordinary gunpowder with
out in the least impairing its terrific
explosive force.
Lyddite is the most destructive ex-
plosive that can be handled with safety
by its user. Ounce for ounce it is
from five to seven times more destruc-
tive than nitro -glycerine and from
forty to tifty-six times more powerful
than the best gunpowder.
1t is safe to handle, and no other
high explosive is. 1t gives off no
sickening fumes. 1t can be fred from
ordinary guns without danger of ex-
plosIon from concussion.
A shell full of lyddite thrown into a
regiment produces the same effect as
dynamite exploded in stream full of
fish-plus blood and mangling and the
sounds of creatures in anguish. New
York World.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

In the current number of the Nince
teenth Century Mr.. Baillie-Grohman
says British rifle shooting suffers by
the Britons preference for long range
shooting. He points to the defeat of
the English team at the recent in
ternational rife match in Holland. Out
of eight competing teams Britain was
fourth in the prone position, fourth in
the kneeling position, and a bad eighth
in shoulder shooting, thus receiving
the seventh place in the aggregate.
This is due, he thinks, to the British
neglect of shoulder shooting and shoot
ing at short ranges. He contends that
the British long distance shooting
borders perilously near upon fancy
work" He advocates the formation OF
rifle clubs on the analogy Of local foot
ball and cricket clubs.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

The New York Press merrily says;
"Chighte, Choinge, Choga, Chrecage,
Cigaigo, Czikago, Dsicago, Gaceco,
Gigaga, Hicago, Kikago, Schikka,
Schogio, Schichaco, Shkago, Siicago,
Stikago, Sugargar, Tschicago, Tchigo,
Tezhiago, Zhtigo. The postal author
tiles dumped these various ortho-
graphic curiosities on as many letters
into the Chicago bag and found they
all fitted" This is graceful ac-
acknowledgement of the fact that Chicago
is practically the whole thing, and the
postal authorities know it, adds the
Chicago Times Herald.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

Too many young men are educated
to do the things that they are not fitted
to do. Boys should rather be taught
to use the tools that they will be most
likely to need in their life-work in
order to support themselves and those
who will be dependent upon them for
their living, and largely for their hap
piness, thinks Coils P. Huntington.
This is an age of specialties, and those
who confine themselves to one kind
of work and become as nearly perfect
in their particular line as it is possi-
BILE for man to become, are the ones
who will succeed best.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22
THE RETURN TO TIE OLD TOWN,

D the little old town that left one day,
Because 1t was quiet, still
Has the name that 1t had when I went way.
And stands on the same old hill;
But the ones that were dear In the little old
town,
With its one wide street running up and
down,
Have ceased to sit on the porches where
The ro 'es were trained to climb;
they have ceased to sew and to whittle
there,
As they did in the dear old time.
The little old church with its wooden sheds
Still stands as 1t stood of yore;
But the ones who knelt and who bowed their
heads
Ars worsilipiug there no more!
And the little old school whore [ carved nv
On the homemade desk stands just tho
same
But the boys who are batting the ball to .day
Aud the little maids, fair aud free,
Are not the children who used to play
On the common there with me!
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

Derby, Conn, steps to the head in
the list of novel causes of strikes.
Thirty girls in factory there stopped
work because one of the employees per-
sisted in eating limburger cheese with
her luncheons-and as the factory
happened to be rushed with orders,
the strikers won, and the limburger
cheese luncheon was banished.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

The little house, so dear so dear.
Stands just where 1t used to stand;
But not for many and many a year
Has the latch ooeyed her hand
The hand IN which my hand was laid
When my.trst few faltering steps wore
made
And In the little old parlor there,
O'erlooktng the little lawn,
Another sits in her easy chair
And hears the clock tick on.
o the little old town that left one day.
Because it was quiet, still
Has the name that it had when went
away,
And stands on the same old hill:
But the friends that I've Travelled "back
home" to see
Are gone or else are but strangers to
ms,
And over the doors of the little old
stores
Are ma mes that | never knew.
And the dream that was dear of the "oid
home" here
Can never. alas, come true!
S. L. Eiser,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

1t passes comprehension that we
should at this age be using horses to
artillery over $50 years ago. The
obstreperous, balky, stampeding mule
is used by Great Britain in the Trans
vaal war. Instead of sending hospi-
tai ships, Lady Randolph Churchill
would end the war sooner by provid-
ing the conservative South African
"Brits" with few automobiles capa-
BILE of climbing mountains and draw
ing loads of 5000 pounds. We can
make them. New York Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22
Studying Hlsop in Central Africa.

Probably HEsop is not so much read
in our own country as he used to be,
but there Is chance for him yet in
Central Africa. The report of the
London Missionary Society relates
that at Kawimbe an "Esop class" is
conducted by the native teachers on
Sunday afternoons. Sometimes, "
says the report, "the lessons they
draw are very good and helpful, and
contain more Christian teaching than
the fables themselves would warrant. +"
Birmingham (England) Post.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22
THE MERRY SIDE OFLIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

Getting Down to Business-An Assertion
Refuted-His Suggestion-Tit For Tat
-Progress - Practical Advice - Pats
Example-An Anecdote, Etc, Etc.
Her eyes were red, her nose was black,
She flung her arms in mir;
She wildly waved her loved ones back,
And hurried here and there.
The smoke. and steam curled round her
head,
She rushed that way and this,
As II her senses all had fed
And things were all amissl
Anon across her nose she drew
Her sleeve and licked her thumbs,
And then, with little more ado,
Began preserving plums.
Chicago Times-Herald.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

California promises to become one
of the leading manufacturing States
in the Union. Its backbone, the
Sierra Mountains, is the home of in
Vulnerable streams, which are being
harnessed to generate electrical power
thirty to forty miles for light and
power purposes.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

The difference between women who
belong to clubs and men who belong
to clubs is that the first are supposed
to have views on every subject and
the second are not supposed to have
views on any subject.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

A German inventor is said to have
discovered smokeless, noiseless and
odorless powder. If this be true, its
use should be made compulsory on
the glorious Fourth.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

The cities and towns which used
voting machines at the recent election
knew the results long before the poll
clerks in other places were well under
way with counting the ballots. And
there were no marked and defective
tickets to fight over.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22
An Anecdote.

An Anecd0te.
"William," said the schoolmaster,
"you should always dot your is and
cross your u.s."
''And so would, in sooth, replied
the youthful Shakespeare, gazing
doubtfully at his manuscript, "if I
could tell which is which. Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

Mamma-'"Fhe baby is learning to
pronounce the names of things quite
distinctly"
Papa-"Yes; - and in command
ing tone. Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

Cyclist-"]'m run down. doctor "
Facetious Doctor-"Well, you've
run down a good many people in your
time. SO it's only tit for tat. Fun.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

The Singer ''Wyhen I get encored
shall bow like this"
The Pianlst--"Oh, never mind
that. Do practice something you will
have need to do. Pick Me- Up.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

She-"Very few people know how
to shake hands properly"
He-"Well, there are other forms
of greeting, you know"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

Incidentally the automobile will
prove potent ally in the good-roads
movement.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

"What is fraction?"
"a part of anything, sorr."
"Give an example,"
1.-The sivinteenth Of November. -
Melbourne (Australial Weekly Times.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

THE FORKS OF TILE ROAD.
An Episode in the Business Life of
Young Man
o succeed, hunt
t1N.N4S,.Nt.lNa NaIA.IEsIMLM

, succeed, hunt
for the finger
board when you
come to the forks
of the road. Find
it. S t u d y it.
Then C b o O 8 Q
your way"
A wise man said
that to his son,
and he remen-
b g r Q d it one
t r o u b | 9 d day
long afterwards,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

Little Charley-"Papa, will you
buy me drum for present?"
Pater-"Ah, but, my boy, you will
disturb me very much if do"
Little Charlie-"Oh, no, papal
won't drum only when you are asleep"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22

Early marriages are less common
than they used to be, and they will
probably be rarer still in the future.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22
An Assertion Refuted.

"Wadsleigh says h1 never make
mistakes"
'Hm-ml That's one of 'em."
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-01-22
Good International Law.

Jabbers-'I tell you, old man, it's
terrible thing when your wife quar-
rels with her mother and the old lady
lives with you. Which side do you
take?"
Havers- -"Neither. T preserve an
alarmed neutrality. "-Harper's Bazaar,
His Last and Convincing Argument.
Canvasser - 81 have here
work"
Master of the House-sT can't
read"
Canvasser-" But your children"
Master of the House (triumphantly)
ct have no children; nothing but
cat"
Canvasser-"Well, you want some-
thing to throw at the cat."
He took the book.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1900-11-03
DRIvATE SALE.

The undersigned, agent, has for sale the
following described properties
Dwelling house, No. 43, on Liberty IT,
street, Westminster; frame, part brick -.
and part weatherboarded; 3 rooms and wide
hall on lst floor; G rooms and bath room on
I'd floor; cellars under whole building; gas and
water; well arranged in every respect
Lot No. Al, Liberty street; good newly
built stable in rear on alley.
Three lots on Fair Ground containing from
2 TO q acres each; now in grass; WILDE sold
separately or jointly as desired.
Also farm Of SO acres, short distance from
the city of Westminster; improvements are
large brick house, stable and other outbuild-
ings. This land is Of good quality and in
good condition; well watered, &c. Will sell
hin whole or any part Of it desired. There
are several fine building sites upon il.
Terms TO suit.
Z. LYNCH, Agent,
sept 80 If Westminster, Md.