The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1900-08-09
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Wanted No More Science !
They Would Rather Turn Honest ThanGo
Through such an Experience Again. n
my RESPECTABLE friend.
az 5IS SlS'iS' az az az az ~ "a

pf coal dealer, Is man with consid.
erable sense of humor.
81 can tell you a story about me
and Andy and Patsy Darlington that
isn't bad fun" he said to me one day.
ut was like this. Andy and me
often met at the Angel, in Brixton,
and one day we were together and
pretty hard up. Well, in comes Patsy
fellow / never cared much for, al
though he and Andy chummed to-
gether. We saw he'd something on his
mind, and l thought he wanted me
gone, but Andy would make me stop
for it. Patsy had been down near
Leatherhead to see some friends, and
he thought he'd spotted a good thing.
Ever heard of Sir Miles Harold,
sir? o, you have. Well, then, you
know that he was nearly n millionaire,
II not quite. His father was big con-
tractor, but Miles was one of them
scientific gents always bothering
with chemicals and things of that sort.
Patsy came down with the news
that it was pace worth cracking.
Sir Miles had got some splendid gold
and silver plate, and, as the house
wasn't we'll guarded, it was an easy
job.
"'You crack 1t, then, Patsy ses |.
I'm bit superstitious about scientific
gents.
Its as easy as winkin',' he ses.
The old fool thinks nothing but about
his playthings.
ANDY looked at me and winked
and then told Patsy to dry up while
him and me talked it over. At last we
decided that Andy should go down and
have a look ut the job hisself and if it
was all right we should go in partner
ship over it.
He went the next day. He was
there a day or two and came back
quite enthusiastic, and we set to work
at once.
I'VE hired a greengrocer's cart, with
q fast pony, to do the job with. Patsy
drove down to Leatherhead, and Andy
and me went by train. Patsy was to
look after the cart while Andy and me
got the swag, but the programme had
to be altered. The morning we set out
! slipped on the wet pavement, and
came down on my arm. 1t wasn't
broken, but it was badly bruised and
my wrist was sprained, and had to
be odd man out stead OF Patsy.
Il drew up outside the house as near
TO the grounds as | could get, and my
chums went on 1t was a capital night,
no moon, but starlight.
Patsy had marked swing window
TO the larder, and, being a slim chap,
ne wriggled through and went round
to the dining-room window and let
Andy in.
THE best of the plate was kept in a
cabinet in the dining-room- 1t only
took Patsy u minute or two to pick
the lock, and Andy sucked, in his
breath at the sight inside. They were
busy storing it in the bag, when sud
denly the room blazed with light
electric light, Of course-and a quiet
voice said please put your hands
above your heads, or l must shoot
II was such a knockdown surprise
that their hands went up almost by
themselves, and they screwed, round
their heads to see Sir Miles-a pale,
HTeamy-looking gent, with big fore
head-standing in a doorway with a
revolver covering them.
'Dontgive me the trouble to shoot,
gentlemen; II would make such
nasty mess on the carpet ses he, Car
ruthers, bring me some cord
"A big young fellow stepped for.
ward with a Laugh and began fas,ten'
ing their hands and elbows together,
after which he hobbled their feet.
When they were trussed up Sir
Miles commanded them to follow him.
and they shuffled along, with the
Young chap behind. He led them intt
he workshop and made them sit
down.
Very interesting capture, Caruth>
ers' said Sir Miles. 'Burglars?'
Yes, sir ses Carruthers.
You are not very intelligent mem
pers of your profession he ses tt
ANDY and Pat or you would not have
come here. Carruthers, oblige me by
gong outside and coming in by the
window as these gentlemen did. l.
want to show them how stupid they
were
Yes, sir he ses, and he went out,
ana presently bell close to them be-
gan ringing softly. He is getting
through the window now,' ses Sir
Mites And this bell'-poipting to an
o'her-'rang when you opened the
ceolnet. You were exceedingly fool
ish.'
If you'll let us go, sir ses Andy,
speaking his politest, well never be
IooiIsh no more. You're too clever a
gent for US, sir
Carruthers,' he ses when his man
O"ue in again, this foolish person sug-
seS's that ! should let them go He
uoes not know how well timed this
.Isi1 ls' A capital opportunity for
"SSlhg my new battery, Carruthers.'
Carruthers screwed up his face
i don't think / should, SIR ses he.
Why not?
., n might kill them, sir.
-, ~ ses Sir Miles, as careless as you
Pease, they're lusty fellows; and, be-
~ues, they broke into nv house,