The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-11-29
HUMOR or THE DAY.

ITO make money requires genius
said the magnate to Chicago literary
friend.
1T does''
Il have made many millions. There
fore I must be as great a genius as
Shakespeare.
Perhaps you belittle yourself. 1t has
been limited that Shakespeare did not
actually write all his plays"
"Oh, that merely heightens the SINH
larity- 1t has been limited that I did
not actually earn all my money!
Washington Star.
There is one thing like about you"
said the intimate friend. "and that is
your lack Of vanity You don't pretend
to be the greatest actor the world has
ever SEEM
No answered Mr.. Stormington
Barnes, thoughtfully, but 1 would be,
if the world would only come to see
me."-Washington Star.
''Adeline and haven't spoken since
last winter
whats the matter?'
actly ike the one 1 paid $25 for"-In-
dianapolis Journal.
How beautiful the autumn leaves
arer' exclaimed Mrs. Rlykins.
Yes" answered her husband resent
fully IF they weren't 50 common we'd
be paying 81 or So apiece for them as
ington STAR
This campaign shows one thing, any
way, and that is that the Prohibitionists
are declining
"Oh, I don't know, I've met lots of
them that used to decline who accept
your invitation now everytime- ''-Phili-
delphia Press.
Billson-I understand your wife was
an imperialist.
Hen Peck-No, she was a scroggins-
Jane Scroggins-but it amounts to the
same thing.-Cleveland Plain Dealer
Uncle Georg-Excuse me, Carrie, but
can't see now you came TO take up
with young Dumleigh- He's a perfect
dough head.
Carrie-But he's got the dough.-Bos-
ton Transcript
visitor-What a naughty, overbearing
child that little freckle-face isl
Teacher-It isn't his fault; his mother
is a cook and his father the janitor of an
apartment house.-Brooklyn Life
Love may be blind. and yet, alas!
It's sense of smells acute;
For though you've had but one small
She'll know-and you're a brute
Philadelphia Press
What say goes remarked the I'M
conscious humorist as he sent a tele-
gram to his wife announcing that he
would not be home to dinner.-Philadel-
phia Record.
shall I order up a column Of troops?''
asked the mandarin
"A stickful is amply sufficient" glib
bered the emperor ,Kwang Su-
Being of weak mind his majesty
deemed this jest sufficient not only to
manifest his contempt Of the foe, but
likewise to bolster up the grotesque pre-
tense that the Chinese originated the art
of printing.-Detroit Journal.
Bacon-when you are in the city drop
in and see me.
Egbert-Why, I thought your office
was on the eighteenth floor?
And YOU want me to drop in; do you
suppose III be in a balloon?"-Y onkers
Statesman.
Deekin-I see you going out with the
can every once in a while. Why not
get it bottled and keep it in the house?
Eslder~No, it isn't. I used to think
so, but the last time the minister called
ing two "empties. Exchange.
HE has a very breezy manner, don't
you think?"
he takes in airing his views. ''-Philadel-
phia Press
watts-Read about that Chinese
prince committing suicide by swallowing
gold?
Potts-Yes I suppose he was one of
those men that couldn't swallow silver
Indianapolis Press.
Mr. De Trop Cat the door)-Is Miss
Mabel at home?
Maid-No. sir; but she says If that's
box of candy she saw in your hand ye
might Fave it.-Philadelphia Press.
She said she loved him with all her
might,
No wonder he was elate.
For she was a lady in weeds bedight,
And the widows mite is great.
Philadelphia Press
when you were in Rome did you DO
as the Romans dO?'