The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10
DER GERMAN COBBlER.
He Opens n Free Museum In Connection
with His Cs5bler shop.

with His Co5bler shop.
/ Hans Jacobs" says dot fat butcher
[ 10 5ue, 4 likes 70 see an honest man get
I along, uad 80 ] shall DO you some favors.
| You shall open museum In half your
cOtbitr. shop. She shall be a fre. mus
/ cum Der laCies und stildrsUs Will come
I b. hy der t0usand, und you shall hat so
uoogh CobhiinS dot you Will employ Ten
men. You yhas a good cobbier, but you
cont know how to do peesness in Amer
/ lea"
How shan I get some museums?" I
says.
Il shall cif her 20 you for nottings 20
help you along. ! haf some plaster fig
Ur,s uHd stuffed animals in my barn. ind
you shall take EN- Uud make der cele-
I bgatec Hans Jacobs Free Museum. In
one year YOU vhas d rich man"
Well dot seems poorly nice. ind I
make my cobbler shop In two pieces ind
set GOD dot museum in der back room |
put Jop more ash ten signs in der win
dcrs. Urd when she opens ocI- Ger vhas a
big crowd on nand. Eaferybody WAS de-
lighted ind says he vhas a big success,
/ On der second day ! vhas feeling good
when a man comes in und locks at my
stuffed wolf ind says:
"Ehel, Why don't he grOwl and slump
az meg'
How can he growl when he vhas
sead?' l says.
"Oh, he vhas dead, eh? Well, dot vhas
some nice swindlts on der poobiic, Who
cares about some dead VOLTS? l come
In here TO see some life VOLTS, ind / pro-
uounce you a deCeiyer"'
/ try TO explain TO him. but he shumps
at dot wolf ind kicks him all oafer der
museum, ind when he goes oudt he shakes
his fist at me und says he shall go by
der law und make It hot for me. | haf in
dot museum a plaster bust of Christopher
Columbus He vhas life size und so nat
ural dot eaferbody believes he has shust
discovered America some more. In two
hours man comes in and looks at Co.
Iumbus for a long time. Den he comes
OafeT by me und says:
who vhas dot old duffer Oafer deTe?'
"He vas Christopher Columbus"
What vhas his game
He don't hat no game. He vhas der
man who found America You must hat
read of Columbus in history"
Don't try some games on me-" says dot
man as he splits on his hands. Il know
dot teller When | vhas in Chicago, l
cash a check for him, und dot check vhas
no good. For three years l vhas ready 10
knock his head of, ind now he must
look oudt."
But he vhas only plaster" / says.
How can you fight NIT a plaster man?'
IN show you how he says, und he
WALKS COP to Columbus ind strikes Oudt
bid. bang! ind her head goes rolling on
der floor 1t takes me ind der old vo-
mans und my son, Shake, und my brud-
Ier-in-law, Carl, to put dot man Oudt,
md he SAYS he shall neffer die till he
comes back ind breaks Columbus into
feefty pieces.
some peoples understand und vhas
pleased, but some Odder peoples don't
know about history ind makes trubbles
| hat two ladies in DOT day who look Al
nv figure Of Cleopatra und compliment
me highly In two minits after dey WAS
gone d young man comes in nit his hands
I'm his pockets und his hat on his ear ind
looks at Cleopatra for life minits. Den he
says:
"Mr. jacobs, who glf you leaf to make
dot figure
Nobody gifs ne leaf. She vhas Cleo
patra, ind l borrer her Of der butcher
"Oh she vhas Cleopatra. Vhas she Well,
YOU yhas a peach of a man! Look here.
row. but she vhas a girl names Schmidt
ind she breaks my heart fer loot Of her.
We yhas TO be married in two weeks
when she runs AWAY nit n fakir. She
gifts me pains. but | loot her still, und
you shall take her oudt of here"
But you vhas mistOoken. Don't you
read of CloOpatra?'
'Nener! No girl dot loot can be made
8 Ia
melted cop into some mortar"
IND he takes dot Cleopatra under his
arm ind walks oudt, ind l don't catch
him.
one of my best figures vhas Shake
speare. / yhas very proud of him. More
ash one UCUsand people praise my Shake
speare, but a man comes in und says:
Il like 10 STE dot wax figure OF Capt
Kidd"
But l don't hat any" says. DO you
belief dis vhas some pirate museums?"
He walks around till he comes to Shake
speare, ind den he shouts at me:
How vhas it. you old liar? Who vhas
dis but Capt. Kidd"
He vhas Shakespeare"
Don't try 10 deceive met II dot figger
wasn't Capt Kidd. den l vhas blind. You
vhas a nice Old rascal TO put a pirate on
exhibition before some innocent shil-
Grens"
Il tell you he vhas Shakespeare"
"Und / say he YhaS d pirate. 1t vhas
my dcoty by dot pooblic TO knock his
head or, und il you put him on again l
Will knock yours o1!'
IND dot man hauis off ind knocks my
Shakespeare by der middle Of next week.
ind den he kicks my stuffed fox sky high
und throws my anaconda out of der vim
dow. / don't get OafeT my feelings when a
redheaded man comes in und looks all
around Und yells:
"Ha, Ia, We shall see how ! can lick
him in two rounds 10 still standI'
Who NhaS doJ?' | says.
Dot scrapper whom you calls Apollo
He Yh&s OaieT dere Und you watch how |
land on his JAW. l hat come TWO miles 10
lick him."
But he vhas plaster" l says. 'Nopody
can fight nit plaster man
You vE-s mIstooken. He vhas cham
pion, but put him oudt NIT a left hook
IND dot SCIapper squares off ind
ShunpS around und strikes Oudt, und in
one mint Apollo VhaS knocked into sefeu
pieces. una l VhaS hit two times on der
nose. l lock UOp der door of der museum
una send Tor der butcher. und | tell him
my story. He don't blame me at all He
picks COP der pieces und pats me on der
Meier mind. Hans CHRISTOPHER Co.
lumbus suffered. Sheorge Washington
suffered Uud you Will be a great man und
build oop a great peesness If you keep al
il long enough
Copyright. 1890. BY c b. LeTis)
HyPhcnaIed Politics.
From the St Louis Republic.
The Germdn-American vote against i'm
ri -.