The daily morning journal and courier., 1900-03-05
THE MARRIAGE QUESTION
TIMELY DISCUSSION OF ITS MANY
 PHASES BY DR. GILBERT,

He Thinks That Prof. Sumner Was Nils
 reported in Ills Utterances on the sub
 ject--IIis Own Estimate is That Ninety
 Per Cent. of the Marriages Are Happy
 Ones.
 Are Most Marriages Happy or Un.
 happy?" This was the topic discussed
 by pr. Gilbert in the Trinity M F.
 church last night. In the course of his
 remarks he said:
 The purity, sanctity and happiness of
 married life is one of the most import
 ant of all possible questione. The home
 IS the cornerstone of our civilization.
 Its institution is as ancient as history.
 It is not likely at this late day to be
 superseded. No substitute for marriage
 is proposed by it's critics. The subject
 should not be discussed fippantly, as
 too frequently it is in the press. It is
 too solemn for that. The whole subject
 has been brought forward by newspa-
 per comments on an alleged utterance
 of Professor Sumner that ninety per
 cent. of all marriages turned out unhap-
 pily I cannot believe he said just that
 and I am convinced he has been misrep-
 resented. have it from one who heard
 him that what he really said was that
 not ten per cent. of young people ever
 realized their ideals in marriage. This
 may well be, for their ideals may be too
 visionary and romantic for the actual
 world. But they do realize a better
 thing-a deeper love, regard and trust
 for each other as they stand together
 in the battle of life.
 This whole question is reopened peri
 odically. A while ago all periodicals
 were discussing whether marriage was failure. In the lack of real sensations we must manufacture them; the news columns must be filled. When anything of real interest comes up such morbid artificialities disappear. Some years ago the debate was on "Is Life Worth Liv- ing?" But we go on living and marry ing just the same Indeed, marriage Is like life itself, of blended joy and sor- row.
 Who has sufficient information to say dogmatically that most marriages turn out unhappily? Has any house-to- house canvass ever been made and the census bNNAi widest of guesses The answer depends on the temperament, experience or mor- al status of the speaker. If he is pes sfmistic he will be gloomy or sarcastic like Thackeray, who as cynic must have 1ie fling. If he has had an unfor- tunate married life he gets comfort in believing that most men are in the same boat with him. If he is loose in con- 1,,a l,1 r,,l oil When such debates are on, the hysteri- cal and soured whose ventures have been disastrous rush into print The happy and contented are not heard from. The divorce courts expose a good deal of scandal in high life, but the null titudes of peaceful homes that never | get into court are in the vast majority. | Deductions from such publicity are fa- tally erroneous. Novels and plays deal | with adultery and marital infelicity, as if these were the ordinary and not the exceptional in married life. They make a wrong impression.
 The minister, going into so many homes, has more than ordinary facili- ties for knowing the true condition of affairs. Serious disagreements cannot generally be concealed. Sometimes he finds trouble, but on the whole my esti- mate would be that ninety per cent. were happy rather than the opposite. We are advancing in our civilization all the time-in the quality of marriage with all the rest. In proportion as cul- ture and refinement prevail, married life is lived on higher plane of thought and conversation.
 It would be unfortunate for young men and women to think otherwise and to take Punch's advice seriously to those about to marry-"Don't." The true idea of marriage is that of partnership in all the joys, hard work sorrows, suc- { cesses and failures of life Tlfere is a sublime pathos in two going side by side ( through life flor better for worse, for ; richer for poorer in sickness and in ' health." Life has it's seamy side. En- l gagged couples may put it aside as un- pleasant to contemplate, but afterward ( when it appears will rejoice in the I struggle and victory together. The { question as to who is the head of the g louse does not disturb the sensible man I o-day. The two stand together as ! quals, consulting, reasoning and find t ng a way out of every difficulty. Young women who expect to be supported in S dleness are getting rarer. Those who an loll in luxury after marriage are lot to be envied. The happiest are hose who commence with little work t nd plan together for, support, home O nd children. e Some of the causes of marital unhap- e iness can be easily named. First in t onsiderate haste, acquaintance and a ourtship too brief. No one should en- il CT into such a serious thing "unadvis- f dly, but reverently, discreetly and in he fear of God" Frequently young h eople act as though it were first-class p )ke. o. Next false motives; such as vulgar fl esire for cash for it's own sake. Gen. s rally the rich marry the rich. If you " ot rich girl and didn't love her you P 'ould soon despise yourself and her. " he would soon taunt you. If you al larry out of your sphere you will con- ol .ant1y feel strange with other ideals gi nd practices about you. Maud Muller cl nd the judge would have been badly W lated. Actresses and coachmen are fo ot congenial partners. You might be m eated with contempt by the superior ce ,mily If you marry for station the romised prominence may fail If for D