St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-10-27
The Coffin-Maker Of Lima
A True Story Showing There Is Romance
N Even in Undertaking.

hOWN with the Gutierrez! Dio.
Dy Lbertad! Down with the
Gutierrez rascals. Viva Fulano J
Tall"
Thus. roared the. mob-at least the
larger half of it-from one side th<
Piazza Mayor. From the other came
the answering yell:
Down with Fulano Y Tai! For GOO
and Liberty! Vivian los Gutierrez!
Then they fell upon one another
They fired leaden pellets into each
others hides-for the love of liberty
They jabbed bayonets into each others
bodies-for the love of God. And with
musket-butts they dashed out each
others foolish brains-for the love of
Gutierrez, Fulano y Tai. And present
ly there were more of the Fulano Y Tai
Gutierrez, and these, being of sudden
convinced that God was on the side
of the larger mob, determined to look
out for their own liberty. So they in
continently took to their heels.
Then there was great shout. The
remaining moiety of the mob hurled
their greasy caps into the air. The
'Generalissimo of the Patriotic
Forces" as he called himself, Don
Fulano y Tai, tossed into the air his
plumed shake. The mob roared ap-
proval. The Generaiissimo Fulano Y
Tai then -seize' his greasiest private.
fell upon his neck. called him brother
in-arms." and kissed him. The mob
melted into tears. Each man seized his
neighbor and imprinted malodorous
kisses upon his lips. When they had
recovered breath-scme little time aft
er-they roared again:
'Dios = Libertad! Long live Fulano
y Tai. the savior of his country"
The generalissimo raised his glitter
ing sword. Wow. my brothers." said
he, there is still work to 6o. We
must storm the governmental pal
ace ~
"Aye!"
I'VE must hang Gutierrez
"Aye!"
And we must seize the mint"
Like a mighty wave the mob swept
out of the Plaza Mayor. carrying their
leader before them like cork.
In little while the public buildings
were in their hands. In little while
longer Gutierrez was killed, his body
carefully mangled, and then drawn by
a rope to the top of the highest
steeple of the grand cathedral. Then
the bells rang forth paeon, the
priests chanted Tc Deum. For was
not the country free? And was not
Fulano y Tai proclaimed president?
Of surety. yes.
And then the shop-keepers took their
shutters down.
All, bah: Commerce is not patriotic
On the Plaza Mayor the next morn
ing there were many bodies. They had
been patriots doubtless. but they had
got on the wrong side. Therefore they
were scarrion, and to be cordially de-
spised of all good Fulano men.
But they looked unpleasant Their
glazed eyes stared at you with dis
agreeable fixity. The lips Of their gap
ing wounds had n dumb eloquence
which worked upon the feelings. The
mob had gathered to despoil them; it
ended by pitying them.
'.Ah, Dios!" said woman. why not
bury them, too, as well as our own of
last night?'
''True. true" said the mob. IAN ex-
cellent idea. We viii bury them
Herr Won Grelk uttered his first word
since the revolution began: AYE, aye.
neighbors," said he. tis the Christian
thing to do. Por Ell amor de Dios, let
us bury them!"
Eerr Won Grelk was a coffin maker.
1t is needless to say that he was a
German. He was an Undertaken, and a
thriving one. And he had many coffins
always ready. For in the pleasant
Spanish--American countries to the
south Of US there is often need Of cof-
fins. And of many coffins. And of cof-
fins about the fit Of which there is lit
tie heed. For, look you. there are
many things which cause sudden
death Earthquakes sun-strokes.
highwaymen. And once in awhile
patriot liberates the country And
then there is need of many coffins.
So Herr Won Grelk advocated the
burying of the unpleasant corpses.
The mob approved of Herr Won Grelk.
and called him brother" And Herr
Won Grelk WINGED, but said nothing.
For they were good customers. So the
mob carried out coeins. And it carried
out more coffins. And when a patriot
could not be squeezed into his coffin,
they would come and get longer one.
And in a short time Herr Won Grelk had
no more coffins.
Then he spoke. -My brothers" said
he. I'VE have done Christian thing"
True" assented the mob.
I'VE have decentIy inferred our enc
my. Now. who i to pay?'
PAY" The mob was amused
mcbs have a keen sense of humor.
"Pay! Que hombre! Is not Herr Won
Grelk patriot?'
Herr Won Grelk admitted that he
was.
did Herr von Grelk wish to occupy
one of his own coffins?'
Herr Won Grelk could think of moth |
ing more unnecessary to his happiness. |
The mob was grimly humorous: If
the Senor won Grell: should change his |
mind at any time, they would be hap
py-
Senior Won Grelk never changed his |
mind. He had but jestcd when he
poke Of pay.