The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1900-06-18

~
In this home of piety and Bible tex+s
too. Consider the words of wisdor, -,
| yon wall"
He pointed in a prophetic wav ond
the little mans gaze, following the di-
rection, fell upon a sign that rod
strawberry shortcake, 10 cents" The
h.lle man began to look bewildered.
oelleve you are lunatic," he be-
gan. rms man is crazy. Why is he
allowed to be at liberty hereo This Is
an outrage
Another outrage" said the man
wen more sadly than before. Don't
you think you'd better keep count of
lou might lose track. And I
rear you didn't quite understand aho,,.
tnat text. 1t wasn't the strawberry
shortcake one to which 1 referred hnt
the paper sampler just above II 0rnaN
mehted with the wisdom of the late
| Soioinon: He that is slow to anger is
800 .hah the mighty. and he that
city," mat 'aheth
by mighty effort the other cor+ro,
re- hiHlselt, and in voice of concen-
| tfdteo wrath demanded: "Bv what
right 90 you put your hat in nv chaira,,
Rlght? said the solemn man. ."Tba
right of possession. The RIGHT of t,ie
householder. The right of the tirSt s .lte
TIER. Also the right of eminent domain
Iaoeas corpus, non-Sequiter and the
ruling OF the Supreme Court that wbers
mans hat is his home is
he paused and looked at his opponent
| 70 see IL ne wanted any more The lii
| tie man gasped. The suddenness of the
legal flood had taken away his breath
| mere is the hat" continued his tor
! mentor, therefore l claim this chair
seat, bench, rest, support berth. stall
iaollat' perch, roost haunt resort and
| temporary domicile as nv own rs
tacto. in accordance with the afores,i a
! decision of the Supreme Court as cited
| in CO |i'eo
! Don't! Stop it, shouted the other
Am to be talked to death by a crazv
, ,aWyer, because L insist on my rights !?
rms is an outrage
This is three ouurages. nv dear cir
We Kept track, if you haven't"
| w hereS the Superintendent ~ oried
the little man wildly. Wen see wheth-
| er this thing win be allowed in a re-
spectacle place. Will somebody tell me
where L can find him?'
mes down at the other end of the
place, polishing up the Thou shalt not
steal sign" said the solemn man nm.
city. Don't worry him; it won't do
| you bit of good; he's deaf and dumb >,
Deaf and dumb" snorted the other
| rms is another of your impertinent.
! outrageous
outrage No 4. They have to have
a GEAR and dumb superintendent to
<eep him from being worried to death
py cranks. Nothing personal my dear
sir; nothing personal"
| am opposed to personal violence
sir, painted the little man Il am op-
posed to personal violence"
| les, yes, said the other soothingly
| L should think you would be Very
'ad for man of your build Likely to
| pflng on apopleXy; overeXertion bv a
at beg pardon-a plump person.
FOR a moment there was a dreadful
urging in the throat of the little man.
| t looked as if he might be going to
! ulnlsh a confirmation of the warning
| . 10 apopleXy. When he did speak
gam IL was with ominouS elaboration:
Sir, as l was about to say when YOU
Interrupted me for the third time
outrage the fifth" nurmured the
other.
i am opposed to personal violence.
~ sir IL you do not at once remove
your hat | shall sit on it,
"Oh, you wouldn't really do that"
'rotested the solemn man. for the first
ne losing his placid equanimity and
Shiblting symptoms of horror Il paid
for that"
ION tell me what you paid for it.
uon't care if it cost a million Take it
way. Take it back to the place you
OF 1t from. Get it out of my way. /
N going to sit down"
Il cannot believe that you would de
cent to such an action" said the other
ter long and searching look into
he little mans infiamed face. Some
in" in your face tells me that you
ave had n Christian up-bringing that
atheu tei.der lullaby; that you
yould not ruthlessly set your destroy
foo that is, your-er-ruthless
weight upon poor mans last hat.
annot believe it. As. the poet says in
s touching lines, 'Breathes there a
an with soul so dead"
This is the end" spluttered the en-
aged claimant of the chair. IF in ten
econds your hat is not ou> of that seat,
give you my word / will sit on it. l
7ill, as sure as my name is Smith"
Your rame Smith" cried the solemn
IN. Where have I heard that name
fore? Not my old friend John Smith.
10. no; this is too much"
The other only glared and gurgled.
My dear SIR" continued the solemn
IAN, a sweet smile overspreading his
ice. why didn't you tell me at the
outset that your name was Smith? 1
NOW your family so we'll. Hundreds
en-. Far be it from me to withhold the
eat of honor from a man who bears
hat sweet and rhythmic cognomen.
| Blessed are the Smiths, for they shall
Inherit the earth. Take my seat my
dear Mr.. Smith, take my seat
"Wha-wha-wha the devil"
Don't apologize. won't listen to it,
It's a pleasure to meet so urbane and
we'll informed a member of your dis
tinguished race. Take my coffee and
buns too. Mr.. Smith. Oh, you must, you
really must. insist. I offer them in
lieu of an apology. You will offend me
If you refuse
He took up his hat and set the viands
in it's place. Then he moved away,
murmuring happily to himself: ''To
think that / should have met a man
named Smith in this place. Wonders
viii never cease"
Suddenly turning, he came back with
the air of one who has forgotten some
thing important.
BY the way, my dear Mr.. Smith, l
must not go without warning you not
to overeat. 1t is extremely dangerous
for fat should say person of ro-
tund figure-to eat heartily when in