davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29
Her Peculiar Way Of Looking.

And you feel sure that my daughter
looks with favor upon your suit? in
qnired the aged parent.
Well, replied the youth with engaging
frankness, l don't want to be too sure
about 1t. OF course, you are aware that
your daughter squints, Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29
Check ON tho Tiger.
York Journal.
His Comb

riedY
II don't know her name, but I know
she was Irish"
"Oh, that accounts for It,"
Accounts for whatY
"The sudden cessation Of his talk
about the Anglo-Saxon being destined
to rule the world."-Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29
Driven Ia It.

Isit true that Bilson came of the At
lantic liner In full evening dress?
Yes; he had to get his new diamond
studs through the custom house.-Chi-
cagO Record.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29
Those Muller.

General White says they haven't q
trace Of those runaway mules"
"No, Of course not. They took the
traces with the rest Of the harness.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29

Lisping Lover-Thallie, II you don't
love me, thay tho; but, II you do love
me and don't like to thay tho,
thqueethe my handth!-Tit-Bits
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29
Iucurable.

Cholly-Yaas, sevewal yeaws ago l
fell deeply in love with a girl, but she
wejected me-made a wegular fool Of
me.
Molly-And you never got over it?-
Tit. Bits.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29
No Malaria in California

Inspiring air, constant air, constant
sunshine, equable temperature, and out
door recreation in endless variety. More
delightful than the Mediterranean. The
shortest journey, finest trains and best
meal service are by the Santa Es route
d. 8. Lurx, Agent,
Santa Fe, N. NJ.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29

Mrs. Plat (a~ngrily)-Oh, you think
you know . lot, don't you?
Mr.. Plat (calmly)-Well, | ought to,
my dear, I've been In the real estate
business nearly thirty years.-Chicago
News.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29
steel Die stampinQ,

A large number Of faces and design
for Office stationery, as we'll as some so
different styles of paper, can be seen at
tae New Mexican. Delivered at easter
prices.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29

Pine al Pilss-I hear the mills IN
America an running night and day.
Acknowledgements o IRE wN.-Amer-
ican Nconomiat.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29

She-I think the railroads should be
fined for running open cars these cool
nights.
He-You ought not to complain. 1t
gives girls a good excuse for having to
be hugged.-Yonkers Statesman.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29
"sToP THEFT"

It is All old trick among the light
fingered fraternity to divert attention
from themselves by raising the cry Of
stop thief" and so putting the public
OH a false scent.
There is a certain kind of advertiser
who is expert in similar methods. One
of his tricks is to tell women that it's
"~revolting" to write to a man in con-
sultation about disease. "Women
should write t a woman" The remain
der of the advertisement invites women
to write for advice, and is carefully
worded to convey the idea that the ad-
vice offered is that Of a physician. But
a close examination shows that there is
no physicians advice offered and the
whole clarnor of write to a woman"
is raised to divert attention from the fact
that the woman offering advice is not a
doctor, and therefore not competent to
give medical advice
For the advice Of an unqualified
woman is just as dangerous as the
advice of an unqualified nan
Women who are sick can obtain medi-
cal advice free by letter, by consulting DR..
R. V. Pierce, chief consulting physician
of the Invalids' Hotel and Surgical In
stitute, Buffalo, N. Y. As an expert i'll
the treatment and sure of female dis
eases DR.. Pierce takes the highest rank.
In over thirty years. experience he has
treated half-a-million women and of that
great number ninety-eight per cent. have
been perfectly and permanently cured.
tents guarded as a sacred confidence.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29
Ant illustration.

~Have you any Of those corporation
bicycle stockingsT asked the young
mar In front Of the counter.
II don't understand you," said the
man behind the counter.
II mean those without any solos,"
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29

Sue Brette-Did you say Blghead
was at work on a new piece?
Foote L~ighte-Yes; he expects to
have it finished this winter.
II think I see it's finish right now"
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29

Yeast-Wil these automobiles go ell
ther way?
Crimsonbeak-Oh, yes! know a fell
low who got one. 1t came home last
week on credit, and this week it went
back.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29
Notice for Publication.
Homestead Entry No. l470.1

January IL, $780,
Notice 10 hereby given that the following.
named settler has fIed notice Of his intention
10 make final proof IN. support OF his claim,
kegistor or Receiver at Santa Re. New Mex:
~, on February Il, 1900, viHs Manuel Madril
Tor the lots 1, :. ; and 8 and - = NV y Of sec.
IL names The following witnssses.to prove
hi1 e~onSlnppus. rseadsn6e upon and eultivA.
don OF eald land via;
I. EssSpisieoA endQval. a 0al!stSc. \, -; y.
fssbs I'D 1zlpoitosio0 sasss' & dsi.ssso. 3: Y.
N AANunI =. Qx1no.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29

He-Inventors are responsible for
many things which are simply out of
sight.
She-That is so.
But they haven't invented a flying
machine that has got there yet"
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29

Mrs. Cr1msonbeak-I see a fellow out
In Philadelphia has been sleeping for
two weeks.
Mr.. Crimsonbeak-I suppose he'll
wake up some day and find himself
famous.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29
BY THE
MEXICAN
CENTRAL
RAILWAY

you can reach the
very heart Of Mexico.
The Mexican Central
Railway Is standard
gauge throughout and
offers all conven.
ences C: modern rail-
way travel. For rates
and further inforMA
ton address
b. j. KUHN
Conf Ast. Ell Paso. Tex.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29
Willinx 10 ohMge.

willing to Obllge.
"Waiter, l can't get my teeth into
this steak"
$50 the last gent said, sir, but I
thought It was the fault of IL teeth.
Get you another. sir?"-Pick Me up.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-01-29
JokELET'ssI.'.

A Few Flashes of Wisdom Grouped
by n HumOrist.
Wheeler-Thc bicycle has taken the
place of the horse, has it not?
Sprockett-Oh, yes, in a way. The
now takes it out in blowing up his
tires.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

The Committee on Public Lands, to whom was referred the bill for the preservation of the prehistoric monuments, ruins and objects on public lands, has reported that there arc situated in Arizona, Col Orado and Utah, large number O. f monuments and cliff dwellings, which are the work of prehistoric man. The bill proposes to set apart and reserve from sale, reser- vatiOns containing these monu- ments to the extent of not exceed ing 329 acres to each reservation and provides that each reservation shall b. surveyed. It places these reservations under the caxe of the Secretary of the Interior; who. shall make rules and regulations rela' tive to the same. The various ar eh@ological societies are very much interested in the preservation oi these runs, and the only practical way they can be preserved is by creating reservations of the land surrounding each ruin, and provid- ing q penalty for any destruction of the samc-
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

Thomas Jefferson, under whose administrator all the vast western territory of the United States wss acquired, may yet have a state named in his honor. Represents tive Moore of Tennessee has intro duced bill providing territorial form of government for the Indian Territory under the nane of Jeffer- son Territory. The object ot the bili is to give the people of the In- dian Territory, home rule and do honor to Thomas Jefferson by giv- ing his name to the only morgan ized territory embraced within the grand domain secured thru his wis dom and statesmanship.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

There are a great many applica tons being made for posts as car riers for rural mail delivery. by men who have no clear idea of the qualifications required. All car riers must be able to read and to write, De energetic, furnish horse and buggy and be willing te travel twenty miles or more each day rain or shine, give bond to the a. mount of $500, and be satisfied 10 receive in return 2 salary of $40t 8 year.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
4 SONG FOR THE NOBLE.

Love for the noble woman
 Who strokes the soldiers head, Who leans as a sweet, white angel
 Above the soldiers bed, Who kreels and who prays beside him. Who closes the soldiers eyes. Who spreads the loved flag o'er him
 When the weary soldier dies. Cheers for the noble woman
 Who opens her palace door To the lame and the sick and the hungry Who gives of her worldly store That others who toll. who suffer
 By flood CT by fire may know That God on His throne still watches And judges the high and the low. Praise for the noble woman
 Who visits the haunts of sin. To teach and to win where angels
 Alone might hope to win: Who puts away worldly pleasures,
 And labors that others may live To her all terrestrial glory!
 All the honor men have to give! And cheers for the noble woman
 Who hides no jewels away, Who compiacently pays her taxes
 AS the law would compel her to pay! She smoothes the rough road of the toiler. She eases the burdens that bear On the sick and the fame and the hungry. And the Lord up above is aware! The sightless. the orphaned. the helpless May cherish her name with the great. Who stand for their homes and country. Whose duty is first to the state! He is noble who falls while preserving The rights that are precious to you - Iris noble to do just your duty
 As an honest citizen. too!
 g. E. Riser, in Chicago Tirnes-Heraid.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

There are many curious things to be seen out on the Colorado Des- ert,- which section IS likely to come into prominence within the next few years, owing to the large irri' gation project now under way there. Among other things, you may travel there for many miles in a depression 200 feet below sea lev el. There are also strange mud volcanoes where hot water bubbles up from the bowels of the earth Another curionS fea .ure of the des- ert is- the COW tracts, which stand almost & foot high. These tracks are generally male during 6 ram storm, and IS the ground is then soft, it is compressed where the cat tie step on 1t. It hardens aS il dries and tho wind blows tho sand from around the tracks, leaving them standing m some places fool above the level of the ground.
 I. A. Times.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
A GREAT COUNTRY.

J, A. Troutman ef Topeka. Kan. is credited with the best speech de- livered at the recent session of the trans-Mississppi congress.
 He said that in 1856 Texas ceded territory over which it asserted d"- minioN to the United States for Sl0, 000.000. In 1890 tho cows of the State of Texas gave inilk enough at 10 cents a gallon to pay that purchase price and leave Sl 800, 900 for ''pln money"
 ''In 1903 Thomas Jefferson paid Napoleon Bonapart s15, ,OO0, 900 for Louisiana. The hens that cackle around the plenteous barns of the Louisiana Purchase" lay eggs c. nough every year to more than re,
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

In company of s. F. Mcguire and R. o. Hogue, two very hungry looking but excellent men, the ed itor visited around and about and in SpringervIlle last week. In our journey thitber we halted at the ranch of Henry Barrett Esq. for monday rest and refreshments; we found no one at homo but waited till the Mcssrs Barrett came in. In the meantime we explored the sur- roundings. Mcguire discovered 8 snake at the milk house; he also discovered some most excellent sweet milk. Hogue, guided by in- stinctive g-nius and craving ap- petite, located the pantry of the de- serted castle and found quantity y of things good for the ''inner man. The editor discovered that he also had 3 good appetite. By right of conquest and discovery we claimed the milk and the pantry supplies. Mir. Barrett has cosy headquarters and IS continually improving them. He has good system of irrigation by which the shade trees and the | n ,,o
 During our stay at SpringervIlle and vicinity the kind hospitality of tho people was put to severo test and 1t was not found lacking. On Wednesday, Mir. Gustav Beck CT [ took us out to the lake 10 fish. The results may seem extremely "fshy" 10 those unacguainted with Springerville's opportunities plsca- torial. hut they are nevertheless true, as told here. With one pull of the seine, Messrs Becker and HOgue in the boat and Mir. Bradley, "Mickey" Wahi and tho o9ltor on the bank, making the drag, 2l7 fish aggrcgatlng nearly 500 pounds were landed, while scores of trout and other fish escaped by leaping over the seine. MT. Becker also favored us with a musicale n the evening, over 100 latest selections on the graphaphone. Messrs Hogue and Maguire learaed one number, and are thinking now of"taking the road as barnstol mers." Ehey on their return. assisted by the editor, who held two ugly looking guns in readiness 10 quell 6 riot sang for the Herald force. Had it not been for the guns, it would have been 8 most excellent tune for them to take the road"
 The Saffelt hotel is good place for hungry editor to stay while visiting and fishing-and in fact for any one else.
 The stores would do credit to any western city, in stock, arrangement management, courteous salesmen and amount oi sales annually. And they advertise in the the Herald a highly commendabln business characteristic.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
Something Silly.

Sturdy Sammy Sampson sought sweet Sally Stevens society so solici. tousIy-several social societies sev. erally said sententiousIy: "Sallie's sure y secured Sammie! Sallie's Sammie's sweetheart Sammie's Sallie's slave! Society shah soon see something start Iing!"
 Saturday Sallie sat sewing steadily, singing softly. Suddenly seeing Sam mics shadow, she seized scissors, shipped savagesy, still singing softly.
 Sammie said, slyly: Sweetheart, sing Sammy something sadly sweet"
 Sallie started-seemingly surprised saying: Sammy Simpson, stop saying such silly stuff. Spoony sentiment sounds soft. Say something sensible" l"
 So Sammy straightway said: Sweet est Sallie, set something soon." Sallie serenely said: Say Sunday" Surely, sure," shouted Sammie, supremely sat- isfied.
 Sequel: Sammie Sampson's safely se- cured. SalEe Stevenson's settled. Sam mics suited. Society's satisfied. - Bos- ton Journal.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

Helen Gould and Andrew Carne. gic will place money at the dispos al of 8 great sanitarium project which is now being promoted in the east by w. H. Geer of Chicago and Scott McKeown, who own large tract of land in Pima county which they will use for Inc big sanitari' um.
 The proposed sanitarium will be located on the land owned by these gentlemen, which is close to Tue son.. The budding will accom- modate 800 patients at the start, and it is proposed to widen the scope later SO as to makO'it the lar gest saniIarium Tn the country Citizen.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

1t remind ed one of old times to see Mir, John Dubois, of Schultz, making a full hand at the dance Thursday evening. He and ye ed, rtor used te set the pace at the "baiIes" in the early days when over-aIIs and blue shirt constitu- ted dress suit and board floors were eRIy memory. Those were gIadson+O days. John; those days oi cid, those days of gold and gore -Ariz. Blade.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

q. s. Consul Schuman at Mainz has informed the State Department that Prof. Winkler of Giessen has discovered an extremely simple preventive against the spred of the hoof and mouth disease. Doctor WInkler claims that if the we'll boiled milk of afflicted cattle be fed to healthy animals for period of about eight days, the latter will enjoy immunity from the disease.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

The Senate Committee on Mili- tary affars has recommended e bill for erecting a monument to the sol dicrs who fell at the battle of Tal- hdega, Alabama, in fight with the Indians in 1913. General Jack son first became widely known thru this battle.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
ARIZONA SEA PORT.

It is reported on good authority that a new steamboat will in a few weeks be placed on the river to ply between Yuma and the Gulf Of Cal ifornra. Tho boat will be run in connection with & limo of small ocean steamships, tho first of which made trip few days ago from San Francisco and will arrive in Yuma the last of the present month The wonderful lain eI aL and agri- cultural resources of the country bordering on the gulf is attracting tho attention of the outside world and only needs proper transports ton facilities to insure immediate development,-Prospector.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

Representative bandis, who was one the most determined opponents of Mr. Roberts of Utah. in the lat ter's fight for his seat in congress, has offered an amendment, which has been adopted, to the Deficiency Bill, approprlating s2,OOO for Mir. Roberts expenses. This the usual amount allowed in contested cases,
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
Hi. rruthful Statement.

"You told me-" she said, tearfully, ''that was the only girl you ever loved"
 ''It's true," he asserted.
 Hut 1 have just learned that yon were once engaged to Maud Mug gins"
 Well" he replied, ''I never told you that you were the only girl I ever thought l loved, did I%'-Chicago pOQf
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

After the repeated failures the House has at last adopted bill which 1t is hoped will prevent the exterminatIon of our game birds. h gives the Secretary of Agrleul ture power over all game killed ir one state and sent into another foI sa4e or in order to evade the local gamo laws.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
Irhumaa Conduct.

"What do you think!" said one sensa- tional actress. My latest husband re- fuses to help advertise my next produc- tion by letting me get divorce"
 Outrageous" said the other. If there were any law in the country that fact would of itself constitute sufficient ground for separation. ."-Washington Star
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

The Senate Interstate Commerce Committee has been hearing argu- ments on Senator Pett grew's bill for government ownership of the railroads, by Judge Lewis and Mr. Busk, b ,th favorable to govern mental control.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

A senatorial muddlc IS on, the tapis m Montana. Senator Clark resigned and was ediately ap- pointed by Lieut.. Gov. SPriggs, while Gov. Smith was absent from the State. Gov. Smith npon his re- turn, appointed Maginnis ot Helcna. The onestion is, who's senator!
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

Steamer cos. complain that pat ronagc has fallen off, but the pass pori division of the State Depart ment has been rushed almost tc death during the time.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

Attorney Hubbard of the great Raw firm e4 Logan, Demond and Harby, of New York, IS recent arrival in Prescott, from southern Erlzona, where he went on mining busincss.-Courier.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

It took s25, ,6O0.23 to run the Co., chisc county government during the last three months ending April lst.-Range News.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
Did Him Good.

Doctor-Ah, the little one looks pretty we'll; the pills seem to have helped him. How did you take them, Johnny?
 Johnny-With my air-rifle; shot sparrows with them. doctor.-N. Y. World.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

About 1900 head of cattle were shipped from Stafford this week, tho price paid being s15 for yearlIngs, SIS for 2 year oIds and $2l for 3 year olds.-Guardian
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
Another MindReI,exes

Pa, what are allied forces?"
 A mans wife and his mother wher ne attempts to say good word for the woman In the case. Now run upstairs and play with your little hose cart."- Chicago Times Herald.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
Then She wantedIt, Too.

Mrs. Wilful-My husband told me if I didn't like this brooch, you'd ex- change it for me.
 Jeweler-Certainly, madam. I'll be only too glad, as four different ladies Of your set wanted it.-Jewelers' Weekly.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

c. Nj. Funston, editor of the Co eonIno Sun, was elected Grand Master of the Exchequer at the late sessron of the grand lodge, K. F.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
A HnPRain.

May-How on earth did you come to accept him?
 Fay-0h. he looked so cheaS when he proposed I couldn't help taking him!-PhiIadelphia Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
What Erery Army Needs.

No army is complete without press censor, says the Cincinnati Enquirer. Fe gains more victories and reports fewer losses than any other sort of an efficer CT soldier.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
A Mfa4AkR.

Gladys-I thought you said he was rich?
 Mildrcd-Oh. not I merely said he had more money than brains.-Chi- cago Times-Herald.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
What Did She Meanf

Slowboy-I am going to kiss you tonight when I go.
 Miss Willing-Don't you think tt time you were going 9-Chicago Daily News.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

The Supreme Court has affirmed the constitutionslity of the inheri- tanee tax.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

imbursc the United States for it's O. riginal investment.-RosweIl Rec ord.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
SATURDAY, MAY 70.

Congress will probably adjourn on June 1Ith, if not sooner.
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26

Lord Potsoftin-Do you know what happened at your dance last night? |? No? We'll. I'll tell you, I'm going to take away your sister. Does that sur prise you?
 Tommy-No fear! Why, mother said it was to on about your popping; Sis said it was sixes; dad laid to against and I had a bet on at evens!-Ally SiODer
The St. Johns herald., 1900-05-26
In Vino YeritRs.

A corkscrew boasted of Its pull Unto a bottle that was full. The bottle said: You must confess It's owing to your crookedness. Chicago Record.