The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-03-22
THE COOKS FIRST CRABS.
She Had Never Tried to Cook the
"Beasts" Before and Never
Would Again.

Here, Bridget said the kind-heart-
ed boarder, ARE some crabs. l heard
your mistress say that she was fond
of them. VIII you cook them for
herr"
Sure and l will, responded Bridget.
taking the strong paper bag, contain
ing the collection from the hand of
the boarder.
And it's much obliged the mistress'll
be to you, sir and Bridget started
upstairs to show the prize to her
mistress, who was ill ic bed, while the
boarGer went to his room on the top
floor.
Now it happened that Bridget, in
the course of her varied cooking eX-
periences, had never before come in
direct contact with crabs. She sup
posed, very naturally, that the little
beasts were dead, the same as the
other animals had been which she had
prepared for the tables of her various
mistresses; and, consequently, she
had not the slightest idea of the hid
eous crawling life contained in the
bag, which she held so carelessly in
her arms as she entered the room of
her mistress. The crabs, however,
We're only abiding their time.
Num-" she said, here's a prisent
the ginerous -Floor-Front gave me,
with the direction that l be after cook
ing thin for the Mistress" and she
held the bag close to her bosom by
of na1linoc of 10
tents.
What are they, Bridget?" inquired
tie mistress.
Grabs, - replied Bridget, with a
broad grin. "Oh, it's foin warm
heart the p-Floor-Front has, num-"
"Why, Bridget" said the mistress,
anXiously watching her careless hand
ling of the bag, don't you know that
crabs are alive and can pinch?"
Sure, mum, and you'll be after
making jolly, even if you are SICK"
and Bridget's smile broadened.
why, I've baked bushels of the dar-
lint little beasties," and by way of
showing her familiarity with the ami
mails she opened the bag and thrust
her nose into it to have a good look
at them.
Now it happened that an exceeding
ly large, long-armed and strong-clawed
revengeful old crab had pushed him
self to the top of the pile with
in the bag. His black beady eyes
caught sight of Bridget's plump nose
He did not know what it was, but it
certainly looked as though it was made
to pinch.
The nose came closer and closer.
Suddenly, the long arm shot upward
and the strong pinchers closed with
a snap around the red end
Holy mither!!!" and with a veil
that made the window panes rattle in
the house across the street, Bridget
leaped up into the air, hurting the bag
of crustaceans violently from her;
but not until another of the "darlint
little beasties" had fastened hold on
the little finger of her right hand and
two more had gripped the neat white
collar she always wore around her
neck.
The bag fell on the bed, in front of
the sick woman, burst open and about
dozen of the hideous crawlers start
ed for shelter underneath the friendly
bed clothes, while a couple made a
scurry for the sick woman's long red
hair, which was unfastened and Law
ON the pillow around her head doubt
less installing it for seaweed
Nava1, in, oil l.;
fame, did woman get out of bed as
quickly as did the screaming mis-
tress, and when she jumped she
Knocked the crabs sprawling in every
direction all over the ROOM
The Top-Floor-Front and the French
dancing master in the back hall room
came downstairs, two steps at a time.
and CALAMITY rushed to the ladies' res
cue.
The instant they opened the door
Bridget. with a yell that would have
made the hair of a Comanche Indian
stand on end, bounded out. knocking
the little dancing master fiat on his
back, and made a dive for her bed
room in the basement. Fortunately
the shock of the collision broke the
hold of the crabs and they fell to the
floor.
The mistress stood screaming on
the top of the comfortable, a fringe of
crabs hanging to her nightgown and
a couple dangling from her long red
hair. The moment she caught sight
of the kind-hearted boarder she fell
fainting into his arms.
The two men secured the crabs and
placed them in large tin pail. Then
the kind-hearted boarder started out
to hunt up Bridget.
He found her in her bedroom. with
her head under the bed clothes. mum
bling prayers and counting her
beads as fast as she could make her
fingers fly. When she saw the kind
hearted boarder she leaped to her feet
and shouted:
"A ION man you are, you dirty
blackguard to be after frightening
the siven wits out of poor goirl with
your nasty spidery crabs, with the
deevil's own grip in their toes. Get
Quit" and she hurled an old shoe at
his head.