The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1900-08-10
BEFORE HIS SPEECH.
Preparing for Few Impromptu
After Dinner Remarks.


Grace S. Richmond, in Truth.
(He takes his seat at the table and steals
a glance at the toast list)
Third from the last speaker, and a
twelve-course dinner to be lived through
first Great Caesar! Well-maybe I'll die
before we get to it. Hope So I'm sure.
Elegant oysters. but no taste to EN-.
blurred
Soup looks all right but don't seem
TO notice 1t as 1t goes down.
Ladies and Gentlemen'-no, mol
mean-"Mr. Toastmaster and Gentlemen
Wonder If ! look pale. Feel pale, I'm
sure. Glad l got a fish bone in my throat
Just then. 1t changed the current of my
thoughts for time and eased up some
of the pressure on my brain. Besides IL
headed off the man on my left from ask
ing me questions which I haven't mind
enough to spare to answer There's q
little story which comes to my mind as /
rise to address you. By the Lord Harry,
how did that story begin? Suppose II
shouldn't come to my mind?
rs this game? Shouldn't know ID from
chicken feed. Am | eating like a civil
lied being or am 1 ramming 1t down the
way used to do when / knew a thrash
ing was waiting for me after dinner? Wish
that idiot across the table wouldn't look
at the parting of my hair so often Won
der II | got it crooked after all?
Used the wrong fork for my oysters,
1t becomes evident. Got TO use oyster
fork now for the roast. Glad my wife
isn't here; glad I've got one thing left to
be glad for. There can be no question
that the issues which are involved in this
matter Of That's not right There
can be no issue involved In this question
which Is not BY jove. but this room
is Internally hot! There can be no ques-
tion involved In this issue Oh which
way does the COMPOUNDED thing go7
While | eat this salad I'm going TO
think this thing out calmly / certainly
know this speech by heart; I've gone to
bed and got Up with 1t too long to forget
1t now. There's no use In my getting
ratified. There can be no question that
this matter involves issues Confound
IT, why can't that man let me alone? He
may have nothing to do but eat his din
ner and ask fool questions of men who
have something on their minds
by tove, we're getting pretty well
through. My mouth is as dry as sawdust
nothing seems to moisten IL up Never
knew | had palpitation of the heart-but
i got IL now, sure. I'll see the doctor In
the morning, If I'm alive--which | doubt
Guess l won't smoke; don't think I
could hold my hands steady 10 light up
I'll have to take out more insurance IL
I've got heart disease-if / can get any
company to take my risk.
Great heavens we've got to the toasts
First man looks as calm as mud Wish I
could just look that way. whether said
much OF anything or not. But / don't L
look all colors-bIue, just now, / think
Second man up! Three more before
me. Wish ] could go home. Afraid for
got TO applaud Number One. Must re-
member that this time.
Two more! II my knees shake like this
can't stand on my legs. that's all. see
my finish; / shall fall over and be carried
out, and thatll be the best thing that
could happen-so long as nobody gets onto
II. One more! George Thompson, when
that man sits down you've got to get up
Oh, why can't i go home? I've had
enough of this. l believe Tll-IlI run
away-NOWi
He's getting through The questions
involved In this issue. The issues in
volved in this question--Ladies and.
Mr.. Toastmaster and Gentlemen AS rise
10 address you-as l rise to address you.
little story comes to my mind'--My
mind! It's a perfect blank-absolute He's
sitting down! Oh. wish l were being
hanged-I do, do! Mr.. Toastmaster ana
Ladies'-or being shot for deserter, or
being wrecked on barren island Now.
It's COME! He's calling on ME! They're
looking at mel / know my necktie's I'M
der one earl know lt--but / can't help
ID now; It's too late-everythings too late.
Here / go. SPEAK, George Thompsoni
SPEAK. you foolr'
ALOUD. Mr.. Toastmaster-L-l-and
GonfIemen---b