davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
MUSICAL.

Unquestionably the great musical
event of the season was the Pittsburg
Orchestra concert on Tuesday evening
last. Music lovers are not likely to
soon forget the magnificent work OF
Victor Herbert and his men. For the
soloist, the occasion proved a veri-
table triupmh. Regarding Mr. Merck.
as the soulful artist. or the virtuoso
of the cello. his work was thoroughly
delightful and rightly received with
great enthusiasm.
The Register has heretofore remark
ed that no one outside OF this office
is authorized to receive musical CON
stributionh for the Register or to guar
antee their insertion In this paper.
A contrary impression is current. and
the usual result is that the Register
is the last paper served. and we spe-
officially decline to reprint such mat
ter previously given 10 other papers
in advance Musical news intended
for the Register should be sent by the
parties interested directly to the City
Editor of the Register, and not to
others.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

pining on Distant Shores. because he
would not Warm Up, and whose Pride
Jar, was now scalIy-hooted 70 the
TEN full Of Hard Knots.
His Pulse pounded like Steam Riv-
eter. Every Chandelier in the Room
became a revolving Pin-Wheel Some
and had built a Fire under him, and he
was lowly Broiling In an Agony Of
Confused Happiness. She treated him
to more White-Hot Emotions In Ten
Minutes than he had found IN Years Of
Travel
All that night he followed Daisy
around Ike Trained Collie. and when
he saw her dancing with vealy sopho-
nores and p:nninr Flowers On them he
went out into the Conservatory. where
ne upset Flower Pots and gnawed the
Geraniums
Next Day he wrote a Note and sent
Orchids and called her up on the Phone
and walked past the House two or three
times. He could not Eat. and he had TO
put Cold Water on his Temples and
take Nerve Food.
He called every Evening unIes she
headed him of with some Excuse.
Usually he found her with several
Half-Baked Johnnies. whose CONVEX
Supplement. He was Appalled, TO learn
that Daisy regarded them as Funny.
Daisy did not care whether a Man had
been around the World or only as far
as Indianapolis, SO long as he could
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
WONDERFUL WORK
Upon the Ears of Miss RocIxefelIeR
by an Eminent Vienna Surgeon.

Upon the Ears of Miss RockefelIeR
by an Eminent vienna Surgeon.
NEW YORK, December PA dispatch
to the World from Vienna says:
The first details of the treatment OF
Miss Alta Rockefeller. daughter of John
D. Rockefeller. the American multi-mil-
lionaire. for deafness by DR.. Isador Null
Ter, have been made public. In lecture
before the Society of Physicians, DR.. Null
Ter said:
When Miss Rockefellers case was
brought to my attention it was so grave
that all known methods had been tried
unavailingly, 1 was forced TO invent new
methods. which have fortunately sue
ceeded. These were two in number.
The first was to introduce a small gold
plate into the ear, fashioned into the re-
quired shape. This was placed between
the ear drum and the chain of small
bones which transmit the vibrations to
the internal ear This improved the pa
tents hearing so much that she could
hear the ticking of a watch, something
she had not heard for years.
The second new method was to re-
place the destroyed portions of the tym-
panum, or ear drum, by myringoplasuc
means Here again l inserted small gold
plates This was tried only after every
known method had been used in vain,
Two months ago the patient came to
Vienna for the continuation of her treat
ment, which l have now carried to an
unexpected point OF success"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
HIS PROTEST..

Yes, it's me,
S. Claus, Esq,
Purveyor of toys. bric-abrac and
Everything else under the sun.
And m tired of my job.
Every year it gets worse and have TO
Run my sleigh-runners off getting
through
BY Dec. %.
Perhaps people think it's a good thing
Fitting over large tracts
OF frosted scenery
Like a kind of
Bearded COrYphee
How would anyone else like to carry
About 100000 NOah's arks
Around on his shoulders,
TO say nothing of 300 900 CO., 900 dolls
And 1000 600 carloads of
Miscellaneous and assorted nonsense?
10 say nothing Of showing OFF
Iii a few million department stores and
Spending my evenings
IrisEing around making
Joyously idiotic remarks in peoples
Parlors.
Besides which have to keep up that
Painful expression which the artists have
Designed to indicate
JOVial laughter
I've been wearing that laugh
Iill, my face has warped that way
And | can't stTaightcn it out
And what DO | Get for it all?
Not q blame thing
The grown-up people kick because I'm a
fraud,
Just as if | didn't have to
BE a fraud in order to be at all.
And the children blame me
When the NOah'S arks
Break the red paint
Sucks off the toy COW
And for about $40 days Of the year
I'm expected to 20 back to some heather
Place up north and be chummy
With walruses and polar bears
And keep mum.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
CHARTERS GRANTED.

Special to the Register.
CHARLESTON, w. VA, Dec. e.
Secretary of State Dawson has issued
charters to the following corporations:
The Edison Jr. Photograph Compa-
ny, Of New York City, for the purpose
of manufacturing, selling, licensing or
otherwise dealing in all kinds of cleo
trical appliances, patents and inven-
tions. Capital Stock subscribed $1,000,
and the privilege retained of increasing
the same to $4,000. 900. The incorpo-
rators are Timothy Hurley. of Brook
Ign; Herbert f. Rider, James d. Wog-
lon, Irving ID. Baldwin and Victory L.
Sawyer, all of New York City.
The Cleveland Gold Mining and
Dredging Company of Cleveland, Ohio.
for the purpose of acquiring. holding,
working, operating and selling placer
gold mines and lodes of gold, silver and
copper bearing ore, in the State of
Montana; also acquiring and using wa
ter, water rights and mills incident to
the treatment of gold bearing earth.
and gold. silver, and copper bearing
ores in the said state OF Montana. Cap
ital stock subscribed is $50, and the
same to 100000 The incorporators
are Edward Albright, w P. Sherman.
| w. A. KnowltOn, c. o. Bartlett and II.
| w. Trappe, all OF Cleveland, Ohio.
| The Gold Valley Exploring Company,
| limited, of New York City. for the pur-
| pose of carrying on the business OF min
| ing and refining, milling. purchasing,
| selling and otherwise disposing of ores
and mineral substances. The capital
! stock subscribed is 81 900 and the priv
| ilege is retained OF increasing the same
to 81 000,0 00
| The Keystone Of Oregon Gold Mining
and Milling Company OF New York
City, for the purpose of mining gold,
silver, copper, coal, iron ore. fire clay,
| limestone and other minerals: erecting
! mills for the reduction Of ore, and deal
| ing generally in minerals and lumber.
/ The capital stock subscribed is $500.
and the right is reserved to increase
, the same to 100000.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
Copyrighted, Robert Howard Russell.


Once there was cold-blooded Tourist
who had been Everywhere and seen
Everything His Suitcase was Paper
ed with Foreign Labels.
He knew more about the Old World
than does the Wise German who writes
the Baedeker Guide Books and can tell
you the Price of a Schnitzel at the most
remote Hosiery in the Duchy of Brat
wurst
He had seen so many Sights that now
nothing could Move him. Everything
under the Shining Canopy had become
Dun and Ordinary. He was a Track
Sore Performer, who had overlooked
nothing except the North and South
Poles and a few Whistling- Posts on the
Jerk-Water Division of the Fremont
and Elkhorn.
When this Hardened Traveller
came back to the Inland Town in which
his Family had been set up as the
Sacred White Cow for several Genera
tons, it was not because the Burg ap-
pealed to him, but because he had Done
the World so Thoroughly that all Towns
looked alike to him. 1t would be a
case of Negotiating whether he squatted
in Vienna or Council Bluffs. for he had
run the Gamut of Excitement and was
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

When the whole Country was having
its Quadrennial Epileptic CONFUSION,
known as the National Campaign, he
did not so much as remember the
Names of the Candidates.
He went to an Arena To see a Cham
pionship Battle between two Grand Lit
tie Boys who did 133 at the R.ngside. 1t
was Twenty Round Quarrel full Of
Gore and KnoCk-Downs, but it never
gave him a Tingle. While the Saloon
Men were shrieking to the Participants
to Beat his Block off and Jam him in
the Kisser the jaded Traveller sat and
read a little Book of Sonnets that he
had Picked Up in London. After the
lid had been carried out of the Ring.
looking like Hamburger Steak, the
GlobeTrotter looked up YEARLY and
asked what the Score was. 1t was the
same as Cricket to him.
Even at a Foot Ball Game he was
Calm as a Craven Image. He never
Batted an Eye when the Peerless Half
Back went down the Field like a
forked Flash of Lightning, leaving the
Gridiron strewn with writhing Giants
who were sure to get their Pictures in
the Paper, with Toss-Up between the
Obituary Column and the Sporting
Page. At the Supreme Moment, when
the Hero threw himself catapult like
across the Linear of Whitewash, and
ten thousand Partisans got up on their
Hind Legs and yowled like Coyotes and
the Girls squealed and fell between the
Chairs and loosened their Back Hair.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

called her a good sizable Broiler. The
GlobeTrotter had seen whole Flocks OF
the Same Kind coming out OF Candy
Stores and Wednesday Matinees. In
Budapest and Paris he had passed up
Dozens who had her beaten a Block
And vet she was It,
She sort Of scrouged over to make
room for other Young People and her
Elbow happened 10 tuch lightly the
Dress Coat OF the Cold Storage Propo-
Sition. He felt a couple of Volts enter
his System. and he began to Curl like
an Autumn Leaf He had hunted
through Mesopotamia and Matabeleland
for a New Sensation without getting i,
but he found il good and plenty then
and there on the queer Sofa He had
heard Of the Magnetic Girl or the
Georgia Wonder. but he had not be
leved that any living Maiden could
send the Current cracking into him.
for he was Non-Conductor and Insu-
lated besides But Little Daisy. the
Coming-Out Girl, did the Trick without
Effort.
He started to Talk to her. but it was
Goodby to the Careless Ease Of Manner.
for he was in a Trance. She held 10 a
Button on his Coat and looked up into
his Eyes and chirped about the Favors
and the Wax on the Floor. and he felt
himself waited away in Fleecy Cloud,
with two thousand angels lowering over
him and playing Rag-Time on jevelled
Mandolins. He, the Cast-Iron Veteran,
who had left strange, dark Women
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

it was then that the Human Ice-Box
sat there regarding his Finger Nails
and wearing the small dry Smile OF the
Chap who is DreadfuIy Bored.
He was undoubtedly .he Champion
Wet Blanket. 1t seemed that nothing
short Of Electrocution would have sent
a Thrill up the Back Of His Neck He
could lean up against a Hot Water
Pipe and have it Stone Cold on the
Count of Ten.
He had what People who know a lit
tie French call an Awful Case of the
Ennui Nothing interested him and
nothing displeased him. He was
Supremacy Indifferent He was the
kind that gets up and saunters
out of the Theatre when all
of the Common Run have Goose
Pimples up and down them and their
eyes bulging out. wondering whether
the Heroine is going TO Come Back at
the Nobleman with Dirk or accept the
Money and Fly with him
One Evening he went to a Party be
cause it was too much Trouble to send
Regrets He sized up the Assemblage
with a Fishy eye while seated on a
Moorish Divan, made in Grand Rapids.
Mich. Near him sat a Young Thing
with a Baby Stare, whose Braiu-Thing
ran about four TO the Minute Her
Photograph may be seen in front OF
any Gallery. She was not a World
Beaten as 10 Shape, Style or General
Get-Up. She was Young, but not too
Young The Market Man would have
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

as Calloused as a Stevedore. What he
had Been Through WOULD make a Jules
Verne Narrative sound like one of the
Elsie Books written for the cultured
little Girls of Cambridge, Mass
He had been mixed UP in so many
Stirring Adventures that it was about a
Tie between him and Roosevelt
He had fought Bulls in Seville and
hunted Big Game in India. He had been
Shpwrecked in the South Seas and
escaped over the Coral Reefs with the
Maintaining Sharks nbblng at his
Toes. The West River Pirates had
given him the Run in China. He had
stopped a Grizzly Bear in the Rockies
ming and put the Black Shroud on the
Wheel at Monte Carlo and broken Win
dow Glass at Port Said.
And now he returned to his Old
Home. that had no Attractions except
a Free Reading Room and a Basket
Ball Team. He felt that he had Played
his String and gone his Length. He
was what one might term Blase, al
though it is not hard to be That in a
town which pronounces it Blaze.
He seldom came off of the High
Horse or let down from the Pose. He
did not Cotton to the Humble JOYS OF
Middle Class Americans. 1t was a mat
ter of Pride with him that his Pulse
never jingled and his. Temperature
never scooted UP to Fever Heat. ANY
Show of Emotion was regarded as VuI.
gar.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

spring Jokes that would make her Gig
gle.
The Man OF the World was in a Fine
Box. Like the Fellow in the Song. he
couldn't tell why he loved her, but he
did. He loved her 50 hard that he
looked wind out Of the Eyes and went
around with his Hair muszed Up, which
was very Amusing to little Daisy, for
she could not see him az all except as a
Good Thing when she ran short on
Violets and Chocolate Creams. His
Record as a Traveller did not make him
any Stronger with her. The Aplomb
that comes from meeting the Ripping
Swells on the Continent never Touched
her at all. She simply wanted a nice,
gaDby Boy who could take Firm Hold
and do the Two-steD for Hours at a
time
The Globe-Trotter went Nanny He
followed her in the Street and tried 10
Scare her into an Acceptance BY threat
ening to Shoot himself Whenever he
broke into the House he wanted to
lean against her and Cry. He got 20 be
a Pest and they had 20 Blacklist him.
On the Day that Daisy married the
Low Comedian OF the Amateur Ora
matte Club the Globe-Trotter tried 10
jump of the Railroad Bridge His Hair
turned White in SIX Months At pres
ent he lives as a Hermit in the Old
Manse. but sometimes ne is encountered
late az night Jibbering to himself.
MoraI.-Somewhere there is q Daisy
waiting with Battery UP her Sleeve.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
complete a female servant. 1t looks
very much as though the mistress of
the cat would obtain judgment, with
costs.
ABOUT TEA.

1t will interest the lovers of the cup
that cheers but does not inebrlate-
that is to say, the tea drinkers-many
Of whom pay very handsome prices FOR
their favorite drink, that the average
value of the importations of tea for
1898 was but 1425c, and for 1899 but
1880 The imports for 1898 were 81
$4,000 pounds, valued at S7,822,952,
and for 1899, 6S,913,73S pounds, valued
at $685. 647 These figures show that
much of the tea drank by Americans
at fair prices must be imported at
cost of from &c to 12c or 15c per pound
while the retain price ranges from
minimum of, say, 25c UP to one dollar
and above. For the first nine months
of the current year the average value
was but 1880 per pound. The infer
ence is that year by year China is
palming off upon us an increasingly
inferior article, with no dimunition in
the price to the consumer. And yet
there is a duty of ten cents per pound
upon tea which at 1880 is a tax of 81
per cent upon the public. With that
tax removed there is no reason why a
fair article of tea. as we know it in
America, could not be sold for 15c per
pound and still pay a fair profit. IL is
very doubtful if any tea costing SOC
per pound comes to America, aside
from that imported by Chinese and
Japanese for their own use. and yet a
dollar a pound must be paid for a good
article, and much more for what is
claimed to be fancy. 1t may be equal
ly interesting to know, as indicating
good tea-rsomething really fine-that
800 per pound has been paid at auc-
ton in London or at the rate of S6.25
per ounce. Such tea costs soc per cup,
and is worth it, if one can afford it.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
THE STATE UNIVERSITY.

Ii is very mucn to the shame and
discredit of our State that the Uni
versity at Morgantown should have
fallen into the hands of the political
spokesman, and degenerated into mere
vehicle for the promotion of partisan
ship. Its Regents and the administra-
ton should have a much higher con-
ceptio nof the particular trust repo5ed
in them, ana yet the recent action OF
the Regents confirms the previously
well-grounded suspicion that professor
ships have fallen to the low estate of
mere POLITICAL rewards, and that poll
teal belief has become sufficient
ercunds for either removal or appoint
ment. We read Of summary dismis-
sails for no other apparent cause than
to make room for a political favorite,
and of the acceptance of resignation,
with a continuance Of pay for some
months to come The first is wrong;
the second is worse. II the services
OF tutor can be dispensed with, why
continue his salary for months to
come? Why not declare the professor
ship vacant, and save the money? If
partisanship is to be the test of capac-
ity, to mould the immature minds Of
our young men and women, why not
announce the fact boldly, and declare
that professorships in the leading edu-
cational institution of the State, main
tanned by the people of the State for
a common benefit, have become
simple rewards for party SER
vices and a means to a political
end? 1t is a fact to be deeply deplor-
ed that the State University manage
ment has sunk so low as to be mere
trucking appendage to the State ad-
ministration, and point of origin for
alleged ISLANDERS, and yet it has only
dropped to the level OF other institu-
tions maintained through appropria-
tions of public funds collected from the
whole body of the people, and passed
from the high station it once occupied
to become the refuge of favorites and
the rendezvous of claimants of places
in payment of political debts. To this
condition has the University of West
Virginia come at last. Its present
status is to DE regretted and deplored.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

One prominent lady Of Paris, resid-
ing near the Grand Opera House, has
brought suit against her nearest fe-
male neighbor for libel on a cat. The
party defendant was in the habit Of
receiving numerous presents of game,
which was invariably hung UP in a
certain open window, from which it
as regularly disappeared in a most I'M
accountable manner. The victim
blamed the thefts upon her leighbors
cat. The asseveration of feline cupid
ity was strenuously denied, and suit
was brought, since when it has devel-
scienceless butchers boy and his &C
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
CHRISTMAS CHEER.

Washington Star
| knows de 'possum's waitin
TIL l come aroun' his way,
So Is fixin' up de oven
Fob his comfort, Christmas day.
An l reckOns Mistah Rabbit
VIII leave footprints in de drif
III hab a-plenty comm
When l hOllers "Christmas gift
I won't git no piano,
Ner damon studs an things.
De norf win Is my SANITY Claus,
I'll welcome what ne brings.
! won't be melancholy.
Fob de clouds is boun' to liz
I'll hab a-pleuty comm
When | hollers "Christmas gif!'
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
CURRENT POETRY.
''''''A'N'''l'
THE SWEETEST MUSIC.

If all this worlds sweet music
Should be withdrawn away.
Till hushed the harmonies of night,
The melodies of day,
Our sense of lonelieSt silence,
OF heartaChe keen and strong,
Would come because we heard no more
A child's young voice IN song.
We'd miss the grander music.
But not with grief the same
AS if no more along life's way
The children. singing. came
For God inspires their singing
And in each joyous note
We hear the songs His Angels sing
Come from a child's sweet throat
RIPLEY d. SAUNDERS.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

washington Star.
He quotes a great deal of poetry"
said the young woman.
Then | shouldn't bother about him Z"
answered Miss CAYENNE. He is prob
ably not serious A man never quotes
poetry except when ne is too lazy TO
count"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

And keep his spirit bold;
And rue-ah bitter herb of grace,
faint not the chalice rim,
Though you must spice our stirrup-cups
Till all the worlds are dim.
From Yesterday to Nevermore
The road runs murk and drear-
The wan old graybeard may not halt
Where lights shine bright and clear
Yet fiout him not with passing bells,
For all his days are few;
Fill him, instead, a stirrup-cup,
With wine, and myrrh, and rue.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
ALL ABOUT CHRISTMAS.

The Armenian church celebrates Christ
mas on January L.
The Eastern Church formerly observed
Christmas on January 6.
In Spain ii is believed by the common
people that the ants hold religious ser
vice on Christmas day.
In all the States Christmas is a legal
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
A Subsidy Defined.

Denver News
Il see so much in the newspapers about
subsidies. What does a subsidy mean.
John?"
"A subsidy. Mary is where l give you
$50 for going to see your mother instead
of having her come to see you"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
The How.
Chicago Post.

Chicago Post.
Did you ever get religion?" asked the
reVivalist.
We'll. I should say so-lSS pounds OF
it," replied the man.
"A hundred and thirty-eight pounds Of
religion." cried the revivalist. How did
you get that?"
The only way that a good many men
ever get religion" was the reply. L
married it,"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
CHRISTMAS JOKES.
An Established Habit.

Il wonder what Della will send us this
year"
You needn't wonder about that; for
three years now she has sent US Tenny-
sons poems"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
A Martyrs Choice.

for Christmas
Get me a couple of hundred collar
buttons, so l can keep up with the way
you and the girls borrow mine"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
YeIps of Distress.

Boston Globe
Does it make you any happier to know
that there is a fleet with $500 tons Of
coal down the harbor when you are
scraping the bottom Of t'e bin and the
last load delivered isn't paid for yet?
A restaurant not many miles from The
Globe office charges five cents for cup
Of hot water served with a mCal. There
are various ways Of getting rich.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23
As An Accommodation.

Are you going to hang up your stock
ing on Christmas eve?" asked the boy 5
uncle, patroniz!ngly
Il suppose So" answered the modern
child, still more patronizingly. Father
and mother seem to expect that sort of
thing and it would be pity to disappoint
them"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

The two rival voting machine com
panies have consolidated with a cap
ital of s1,OOOOOO 1t is entirely posi-
BILE that in the years to come We may
be compelled to vote in a trust con-
trivance.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-12-23

Charley, you can't buy presents for all
those people with So cents; you'n have to
cut down your list"
''WeI, cross off the gran'mas."