The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-09-26

start a fire in the stove an fetch buck
ct uf water an fill the kittle an clean
out the ashes an empty the swill bucket
an feed the stock an hurry back ter
breakfast Atlanta Constitution.
There was once Woman whose Hus-
band Business Kept Him in the City
during, the Summer. Among, those Hab-
its CT his which she Proposed to Reform
was that OF Going Away on Little Trips
on Sundays: IT is not a Suitable Occu,,
patton for The Sabbath" she said, land
Against my Principles" SO the Man
stayed at Home and Read the Sunday
Papers. OF this, however, she Disar--
prcTed. 1T is Debasing INTELLECTUALLY
Principles" SO the Man gave up the
Sunday Papers and Sat and Smoked all
day. But this she Did not Permit vely
lnilg 1T is an Unwholesome Habit and
saa Expansive One she said; ''bt sides,
it is Against my Principles" On the
Next Sunday the Man purchased a Tick
et..toas Manhattan Beach, and left his
in his hand. Sunday is a Hard Enough
Day without so Many Prime pies" he
said $50 she lost the chance Of Reform
ing Him. This Fable teaches us that
Man was not Made for the Sabbath
Harpers BaZar.
Wife (who has been struck by 4 hicy-
cle)-'Never mind, dear. Don't make a
scene Of it,
What! Do YOU think III
let him go without saying what | Think
Wifo-"But I'm not really hurt
Husband-"That doesn't matter \
little more and he might have run into
me. '--Tit-Bts.
The Scottish American says that
minister IN Scotland asked an urchin
who was standing looking in ut one of
the Sunday school windows now he
would like to join the Sunday school and
grew up 4 good man.
What sort o Sunday schulz is't?
'StablishedY'
Yes" said the clergyman. 1T is con
nected with the Established church. Are
you not coming in?'
Ma" replied the boy. Il tried the
Established kirk Sunday schulz last year,
an only got twa fardin oranges an
peck O sweeties at the Christmas tree,
sac I'm gaun tae gle the Free kirk
trial this year"
A good story is that of the clergyman
who, while preaching extemporaneous!y
touched on the subject Of miracles. Some
people, he said. had difficulty in accept
ing the miraculous stories of the Bible.
as, for example, the story of the speech
that Balaams ass made to his master.
Looking solemnly at the congregation
the preacher hammered in his contention
with the remark: why should not God
make an ass to speak-He made me to
speak
Apropos of the trouble the Shah is
causing at Ostend, Il story is being told
by the Belgian Times of the first visit Of
Nasr-ed-Din, the father of the present
monarch, to the King of the Belgians at
the Queen surrounded by her ladies in
waiting, the Shah said to the King,
our harem, sire?'
The question took the King so much
by surprise that he did not for a moment
reply, and the Shah, taking his silence
for consent, looked critically along the
line and added, mildly but decidedly:
You will have to renew 1.-THE Lon
don Express.
Not long ago an Arizona rancher post
ed the following notice OH a cottonwood
tree, not far from his place of abode.
My wife Sarah has left my ranch when
[ didn't Do Thing 100 ner, and | want
it distinkly understood that any Man as
takes her III an I\eerS for her on my ac-
count will get himself Pumped SO Full Of
Led that some tenderfOot will locate him
for a mineral claim A word to the wise
is sufficient and orter work on fools
-.0:-
The other day an amateur nurse in
South Africa went up to a doctor and
asked him what she must do.
You should have learned that before
you came here" the doctor replied. DO
anything that wants doing"
The nurse went up to handsome but
wounded Highlander and said:
will you let me wash your facc"'
Yes, but hurry up. I've had my face
washed six times since breakfast, and
there's two more ladies I've promised to
wash me- But hope to get snooze be-
fore tea. London Spare Moments.
''Bur-rds is intelligent" Mrs Branni-
gan observed as she encountered her
friend. Mrs O'Flaherty. 'Ye can tache
'em anything. Ne sister has wan that
-.