The Afro-American advance. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1899-19??, 1900-08-18
| Mr.. JObSOn'S Vacation


wv Mrs Jobson from the seaside
last summer he stood forth and de-
clared himself on the subject Of sum
mer trips.
sThis is the last" he announced.
'No more of these idlotic hot-weather
jaunta for me. / haven't been com
Portable n minute since / left home
Washington's pretty good place TO
live in. 1t suits me winter and sum
mer. and the next time let anybody
drag me away from my own home for
a month or six weeks during the slz-
cling weather. the one that does the
draRRing~-he or she--is going to be
told few things | didn't want 10 go
in the first"
why" put In Mrs, Jobson. you
know that you were talking about go-
ing 20 the beach with anticipation for
weeks before we"
"No. wasn't. Mrs, fobson," inter-
rupted Mr Jobson. IL didn't any
more want TO go 10 the beach than
wanted TO 60 to Jail. and you're evil
IDENTIFY suffering from an atrophied
memory when you say otherwise |
wanted TO stay home and be coul-
Portable. but | was wheedled and BAN
boozled and coddied into killing of with
you To swnrminR. teeming summer
resort, where / had to Sit on a red hot
hotel porch and talk pretty to lot Of
people that | had nothing In common
with and that probably despised me in
their Utmost souls, aud where ! had TO
Haundaw npaonI Ia Ina-nftA aaA tvut.r
every day because oil the rest of the
gang did IL, and where had 20 20
along on cruises In saiIhoats and get
sick every time you nodded to me that
you wanted to 20, and where | didn't
get proper meal OF vlctuals during
my entire stay, and where | had 10
push you around In a peramhulator
and look as II liked IT., just because
all the other imbeciies down there
with strong healthy. iO0-pound wives
perambuiate their wives. and where |
felt In general like salt mnekerel in
the bottom OF barrel. It's taken me
a good many years 10 get this home
together. and"
well, I am sure | would be per.
fectly content Ca remain at home all
the year around" said Mrs. Johson
Don't you remember that suggested
last spring that we remain ut home
this year and get new porcelain
bathtub instead Of hpenmng the
money for trip, aud have the house
painted all over, and get new chif.
fonier and a modern refrigerator"
"fou have a gifted imagination,
Mrs. Johsou." said Mr. Jobson. ats
wonder 10 me that you didn't take to
the writing Of fiction la early life I'D
like TO accommodate you by remem.
boring all that, but my msmory Isn't
as elastic as II might bs convenient for
you 10 have II, | do remember, how.
ever, that you began TO tinker with
material for new bathing suit as
early as the month Of March. aud that
you began Co read the seaside adver.
tisements In the Star paper before the
iilaes began Co show up on the mar.
ket stands. and that you began To yet
letters from hotel keepers down at
the beach, In response To your secret
inquiries AZ to terms, long before the
month of May dragged to its close,
and that when the hrst bot dag in
June happened along you began 20 pant
aud TO look wistful and TO remark that
you'd never suffered SO much from the
heat before, aud Ia tell the that you
thought needed change aud the
salt air badly, and 80 on"
Didn't You say two weeks before
we started that you pltied folks that
had to remain In the boiling city all
summer, and"
"lsoiling city. Mrs. Johson?" ex-
cialmed Mr., Johsan, "Nnu never
heard me make use ~ such a term In
your life with reference 10 Washing.
ton. All this talk about Washington
being a hot city In the summer is
moanahiHe. It's cool enough for ME,
anyhow. aud the next time YOU com.
menee 10 look wiAtfnl before the sum-
mer'a half begun. I'll send you to the
seaside. all right, but I'll stay at home
myself. I've had all the summer re-
sorting want in mine /"
This WIS the way Mr. .iahson de-,
ciarcd himself upon bis return from
the seaside last year. II may be re.
marked that, In attrlhuting TO Mrs
Jobson wild. understandable desire "a
20 To the beach Mr.. Johson was. al
usual. just tribe beside the mark
However .itwAs settled thing from tbs
time Mr.. Jobson issues his pronuncia.
mento on che subject of summer trips
that there would be no summer trlE
for the Jobsons this year. Mrs Job.
son WAS content with that understand
ing She had never been particularly
fond OF the hotel existence and the In
cekaant dressing and nsuHging about
of seaside resort.
Frequently during the winter, whes
triends Of the Jobsoas would ask then
where they were going when the SUM
MGR came again. Mr.. Johsen wcfsld ex
patlate AZ great length and with much
feavor upon the compleie lanaey ol