The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-07-13

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A congressman tells the story that
being selected to deliver eulogy on
deceased colleague whom he had no
known, he consulted Mr.. Reed, then th'
speaker, upon what to say. "Say any
thing except the TRUTH" was the reply
'it's customary"
After a recent ecclesiastical gather
ing, as the clergymen were trooping
into luncheon, one of the most unctuOuS
observed: Now to pu. bride on our
appetltes." "Now to put bit between
my teeth" retorted the Bishop of Win
chester, DR.. Randall Davidson.
A gem from the records of Missouri
court, given in an address by Hon. Will
liam Wallace, is the following lucid
verdict in lunacy case: "We, the
jury, impaneled, sworn, and charged to
inquire into the insanguinity of Heze-
kiah Jones, do occur in the affirmative"
An autograph-hunter, who was very
anxious to obtain the signature of the
poet Campbell, 'adoped the familiar
strategem. Having come across a line
in one of his poems, the meaning Of
which appeared to be obscure, he wrote
short note to the author, asking him
to interpret the words in question. He
received the following laconic reply:
"Sir-In return to your note, send you
my autograph.-Thomas Campbell"
Sir William MacGormac, the presi.
dent of the Royal College of Surgeons
of London, is at times quite absent
minded. He Is an indefatigable work
er, and often to save time when study.
ing in his laboratory has light lunch.
con served there. Once his assist.
ants heard him sigh heavily, and, look
ing up, saw the doctor glaring at two
glass receptacles on his table. what
Is the matter, doctor" asked one of the
youngsters. Nothing in particular"
was the reply, "only 1 am uncertain
whether I drank the beef tea or that
compound am working on"
A short time ago some American la
dies who were visiting Rome, wishing
to attend Papal reception, made their
appearance in ordinary court dress,
having availed themselves to the full.
est extent of the decollettage. Pope
Leo was Mortified when he first noticed
them, and determined to take steps fop
its prevention In future. A certain well.
known cardinal was instructed by him
to inform the ladies of their breach Of
etiquette. The cardinal was a man of
the world, and realized that the matter
must be approached with the utmost
tact and delicacy; after due considera-
tlon he approached the ladies, and, ad-
dressing them, said: 'The Pope is old
fashioned and does not like decollete
dresses; but" he continued, waving his
hand lightly in the air, "for me | am
quite accustomed to them, you know,
have been so much among savages that
do not mind them" 1t was some lit
lie time before the ladies grasped the
ull significance of the cardinals words.
Camille Saint Saens, the brilliant
french composer, is extremely near.
sighted. One evening at Paris he was
It party, when the host asked him to
'lay something. He for long time re-
used to do so, but, being earnestly
PRESSED, he took his seat at the piano.
His hair was tossed back, his eve
,leamed with excitement. Now he
would bend over the piano, then he
would throw himself back; and all the
While his fingers would run over the
,eys as he extemporized in the most
'rilliant fashion. The company were
elighted. After an hour, pleasure gave
lace to WEAKNESS. Two hours after.
7ard some of the guests began to leave.
heir example quickly became contapi.
us, and by degrees nobody remained
4 the room except the master of tho
ouse (the hostess had long since gone
bed. Saint-Saens, more inspired and
lore tumultuous than ever, utterly nm.
onscious of the incidents around him I
layed on as fast and as frenzied &c
yer. At last, about 2 a. m. sae;ro
playing with more ardor
han ever, the master of the bouso =
overcome with fatigue hoI |
anne desperate, and, laying his hand
n the composers shoulder, said: "T
eg your pardon, my dear sir. but nrav
re you not little fatiguedY Saint. (,
aens replied, without leaving the mia.
0, Not In the leastr' and to show how
'esh he was, struck into a new imnroI
lsation with wilder enthusiasm than
yer. The host gave up, stole ont of
le room, and went to bed. At dsv:
reak Saint-Saens rose, gravely bowed o
the tables and chairs, and went bomo
ignorant that the chairs ana
bles had been for hours his only audi.
ice. >.