New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1900-03-18
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

THE Liverpool POST says that firm in Liver
pool. being delighted the idea that of it's en-
ployes called upon join the reserves at once
volunteered to pay half his wages his wife his
absence. At the end of the month the woman ap-
peared. and the moiety given her.
"What?'' she said. -Four pound?'
Yes. replied the senior partner that Is exactly
half; sorry you not satisfied"
1T isn't that I'm not satisfied. Why, for years
he has told he only got 16 shillngs altogether
and-and-f the Beers don't kill him will"
Dear met exclaimed Old Subscriber, the paper
seems to be made up almost entirely of essays and
lit must have been Sheidonized suggesfed q Con on
slant Reader.-(Chicago Post
Major John Msap. of the Salvation Army who
has Just returned to San Francisco from the Phil
ippnes. says: II was astonished at the cordiality
shown by the men wherever appeared among our
troops in the Philippines, and the headquarters of
the Salvation Army which established IN Manila
was quite favOrite lounging place for the soldiers
1t my good fortune, too TO be of service on
the firing line, and very proud of some letters
which have received from various officers testify
ing to that fact Before the hostilities commenced
I good terms with Agunaldo but na tn
rally, after war had been declared between our
forces. had no further opportunity of improving
the acquaintanceship When partial peace has
been restored to the Philippines there will be n
very fruitful field for Salvation Army work In that
archipelago"
At Last!-sir George white-I hoped to have met
Sir Redvers Butler. V. C-Couldn't help IT, Cen
eral Had so many engagements!-CPunch.
Colonel Ward discourages the hope of Californians
that they may find market for their light wines
in the Philippines. The Filipinos he says are
welded to vino" concocton of anise and fuse,
OIL No light wine will appeal to a vino appetite
lanes" Whispered the good woman, there's
piano in the dark. I heard several of the KEYS
"A" Al right" said James. TN go down."
on: James, you're not going to do anything
,o Certainly NOT. I'm going to help him You
house without assistance do you?'-(Phiiadelphia
1t is told of retired farmer that after returning
from Continental tour. which he had long set
his heart. he narrating one evening 10 b,s
friend. the doctor how he had visited the ma
Jestic Lake of Geneva and trodden the banks or
Blue Leman."
Excuse me-" interrupted the doctor. Lake
Geneva and Lake Leman are synonymous"
That my dear sir" replied the farmer ct know
very well; but you aware that Lake Leman "a
the more synonymous OF the two?"
Indignant Patron-You advertise to cure con-
sumption don't you?
DR. , Quach. X <ss;o sir never fail when my in
Indignant Patron My took your medicine for
Or. 4uack-My Instructions not followed
told him to take 1t for two years.-(CoIumbus
Journal
when there IS DEATH for the afflicted family 10
insert card of thanks in the local paper The
peculiar wording of notice of this kind that an
peared in a local paper OF Venango County Penn
inadvertently reflected upon the good neIghbors ~
follows: Il wish TO express my most heartfelt
thanks the minister choir. neighbors sisters
and brothers of the various orders and all those
who kindly assisted in the sickness and loss OF
my Wife
Sir Robert Peel once going through n ,io,,-o
OF prominent Englishman who famous for
saying sharp things. -N'
How wonderfully like said the friend ..yo,
the culver his lips N
Yes replied Sir Robert, land the arrov,s con,
Ing out OF it'-(Youth's Companion.
THE Philadelphia Ledger says that "a h,c,s-,,
ogst asked woman who did not usually bo,,a =.
go on very dirty streets II he might made a. -
pertinent OF her skirts. II was co,,n.
lively one. and received daily brush,,o ~
found on part of the skirt binding at the ber, 81
following small menaGerie: Two hundred .bo,,1
germs. many bearing diphtheria p2eunonIa 80
tonsilitis; also collections OF typhoid and consrr
ton microbes"
. II reckon de time IS comia' when dar u,or. - -
hghtin tall, said Miss Miami Brown W." "e no
81 dunno bout dat" answered Mr. Fra..u.
Pinkley, H'astuS
bein' tuned to plough shahs?' "e s"ordS
Yes | know bout de swords Pm, a. l.,
muffin bout razzers do it?'-(Washington S'ar say