Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-02-17

ueHCt lndI dS any OIneT-
Did he find anything wrong with your
meter? inquiries the man behind the desk.
Wonderful Meter.
did he? Not on your natural did he!
The meter struck him as being such
beauty, such rare piece of perfect mech
anism of its kind. that 1 had all l could do
to keep him from mailing 1t for exhibition
purposes at the Paris exposition. Said that
that meter of mine was such gem of ac-
curacy and precision-that it only happened
once in lifetime that a man in his BUSH
ness had a chance to see such a lallapoloosa
of d meter-that he'd just like to take it
up by the roots and pack 1t away with
him.
"'What're you going to give me in ex-
change-a double-back-action meter thatu
land me in jail or force me to live out in
the woods with my family 1 asked him.
Well, said he. L couldn't undertake to
promise you that you'll ever get as perfect
ly magnificent meter as you've got on
your staff now-one so perfectly. beatific
ally accurate?
We'll. concluded to stand pat with the
meter had. rather than to fly to meters L
knew not of, and your government gas in
spector reported to the company that that
meter of mine was just q baby-that it was
a George Washington gas meter. and
couldn't lie. And, say, look at this bill for
last month, will you? Oh, no, the govern
ment gas inspector isn't in cahoots with the
gas company at all. is he? Oh, no.
-" men It's IN His FaVOr.
That, by the way. is the inevitable deliv-
erance of all householders, male and fe-
male. who get an adverse verdict at the
hands of the government gas Inspector
that the government gas inspector is Tin
cahoots with the gas company" In grace
tul contrast to the persons who believe or
state this are those who have got a favor
able decision at the hands of the govern
ment gas inspector, and who walk away
from the gas office with s. or $40 rebate
in their wallets. These latter are so ex-
allied in their praises of the government
gas inspector that they unhesitating,y de-
clare that there ought to be government
gas inspector on every block, handy and
convenient.
Then there Is the type of gas office COM
plainant who gazes through and beyond
the man behind the Complaints desk
when he makes his entrance.
What can l do for you, sir?" asks the
man behind the ''complaints'' desk.
You can't do me at ALL is the reply.
Il want to see the president of the COM
pany this time
rs it in regard to a bill?"
Wants to See the President.
That's what it is. I've got through
singing my little song at this desk. I've
been wheedled and bamboozled and pa
Gated and had the wool yanked over my
eyes too often at this desk. Now want to
want to see him quck.'
But he's not in the city, you know, just
Eow; and, anyhow, he knows nothing of
the details in individual cases. and Il
Then where's the board of directors or
the secretary and treasurer or the heap
much that's the boss around these works
in the absence of the president of the COM
rany? I'm through with the understrap
pers; now l want to have personally con-
Quoted talk with the real people-the big
guns: Show EN- to me-
This type of man is pretty hard to deal
with, but the man behind the complaints
desk, by the exercise of diplomacy and
tact, generally fetches him to a state of
mind where he'll submit his grievance with
out the personal hearing of the stockhold-
ers in the company, with the president pre-
siding. In addition to these male types of
compliments there is the man who tells
the complaint entertainer where all day
light thieving gas companiesll be when
Billy Bryan gets into the White House; the
man who fiercely demands that the gas be
totally shut off from his premises and
then, after the same has been done, re-
turns to the gas office and almost precipi-
tates riot: the man who gloatingly claims
that. while he's kept every gas burner in
his house going night and day during the
past month. just for experimental purposes,
his bill is nevertheless s. less than it was
last month. and host of others.
Nor is the life of the man behind the
complaining desk made one grand. sweet
song by the women compliments.
Lovely Woman Complaint
Il just think this bill is the most scandal
Gus thing L ever heard of. so do is the
usual feminine method of opening the at
tack on the complaint entertainer. Just
to think-s4. 6J-When I've been using gas
the past month just as If 1t was pure gold
right from the mint, I've been so stingy
with the gas that my husband has several
times gone downtown at night. saying that
he couldn't see to read his paper at home.
And here. in spite of all my economy, is a
bill for four-sixty-fiye, It's perfect, living
shame. declare it is. and if / Were a man
I'd be ashamed to remain in the employ of
such bold robbers, so l would Moreover, I
do not intend to submit to such imposition
indeed, | don't-Td rather burn tallow cam
dies, or pine torches or have 10 other light
at all than the latrobe fire. than to endure
such outrageous trea tment." etc. etc.
Sometimes the assertions made by the
women compliments are funny enough.
Il just know that that man you sent
up to look at my meter acted sptefully
and reported that the meter Was all right,
simply because my little boy made faces at
him when he was looking at the old meter"
said one irate lady.
One lady discovered. after living in a
fat for nearly year. that during all of
that time she had been paying for the
gas consumed by burner kept burning
al! night in the public hall. The state of
mind that this young nlatron was in when
she turned up at the Complaints desk
was something extraordinary to look upon.
ScyIla and Charybdis.
But demonstrated the man behind the
desk that is a matter between you and
your landlord. The gas company is, of
course, compelled to charge for the gas
registered as having been consumed
through each meter
"Oh. yes, lots of satisfaction I'd get from
the landlord-he's just as brazen high
wayman your old gas company" was
the parting shot of the indignant young
woman.
The man behind the Complains takes
a good deal of genuine and kindly interest
in complaints who approach him in the
right way. A poorly dressed, somewhat
pinched-loOking young woman handed him
bill for 81 and some odd cents not long
ago-a bill altogether out of proportion to
the size of the little house in which the
woman lived with her husband and fam
lily.
1T Is very hard to have to pay this"
| said the little woman meekly 1T takes
| up nearly all of my husbands salary for
week"
The bill was of course. found to be alto
| gether wrong, owing to a too industrious
meter, and it was scaled accOrdingly 1t
/ would unQueStiOnably have been adjusted