davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
The ntsnc.. OF the ocean.

Some people gratefully reflect that
we owe tho clouds and the tides and
the winds TO the .'Mothcr and Maker
of men," but these are less numerous
than the folks who would like to
know what we should do for soles
and cod and maclsercl il there were no
ocean. Yet think only how big. it is.
If You divide the whole globes area
into II parts, the sea covers eight of
those, with an average depth of 2,OG0
fathoms. Try to imagine 12, 600 feet OF
solid. perpendicular sea water lying
upon eight-eleventls of the entire
planet!
A patient mathematician has been at
the pains IT, Inform us that this bulk
of brine would weigh one and n half
million million millions of tons. For
the most part this vast body of water
thus set down in figures as 1,50o,OOO,-
OOO.OO0,00O,00O tons-is of the same
composition everywhere, and as every
body knows, carries great quantities Of
ocean salt.
But that same salt Is itself singularly
complex. Not only are there in it
chlorldes and sulphates of sodium.
potash, magnesium and lime, which
are familiar to many, but 1t contains
also silica, boron, bromide iodine, flu
orlc acid and the oxides Of nickel, CO.
bait, manganese zinc, silver, lead, cop
per, aluminium, barium and stron-
tium. Arsenic and gold are also found
In 1T, along with those rare metals lithi-
um, rubidium and cnsium.-London
Telegraph.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
The Prince and the cnpt.,n.

The admiral commanding the British
Mediterranean squadron some 20 wears
ago, writes correspondent, gave a
dinner to the captains of the fleet ut
Malta. BY G:45 most of the captains
had reached the flagship, been received
on the deck by the admiral and usher
ed below. Next the Duke of Edin-
burgh arrived. The admiral received
him, and. keeping him In conversation.
continued to pace the deck. All subse.
qucnt arrivals We're duly ushcred be-
low to the saloon but still the admiral
kept the duke on deck. At last it oc
Cured to the duke that the dinner hour
had been passed, and he venturcd to
inquire If his host was waiting for
anybody.
Yes" replied the admiral, 81 am
waiting for the captain of the -
Instantly the duke took the hint, call
ed for boat and made posthaste for
his own ship. lie alone among the
captains of the fleet had turned up in
mufti, forgetting or not knowing, that
the dinner was official. On his return
to the flagship in the quickest time on
record and in full uniform the gallant
but infieNible admiral was still pacing
the deck, and dcprccating his royal
higlness' profuse apologies conducted
him to dinncr. l believe, concludes nv
correspondent, the admiral was Sir
Michael Culme Seymour.-M. A. p.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
\ DOSE OF JUSTICE.
LADLED OUT WITH A LIBERAL HAND
sY JUDGE HokE.
The Court Con.ider. the Case Of Art.
soma Som. General Bad Man, and
Disposes of 1t without the Ala Of
Advice From His Lawyer.

copyright. 1900. by c. B. Lewis.l
"This yere case," said Judge Hoke,
as he called the court to order, zap
peals to me not only as the legally
elected and only jestlce of the peace fur
the county of Cold Chuck, but to every
man In these diggin's who carries n gun
and is supposed to hev the sand to take
keer of hisself 1t is the case of Arizona
Sam versus Pete the Haif Breed,
and Sam is the complainant see he's
got lawyer yere to CAB fur him, but
that lawyer won't hev no talkin to do.
Let us begin Mt the beginnin. Ari-
zona Sam strikes this town year ago.
He has yell like fog horn and he
weighs 200 pounds. He wears two
guns and knife, and he bites the
tops off dozen beer bottles to show
that he was born in cyclone and era
died in a hurricane. Tie was sized up
fur bad man, and fur months and
months he's bin cock Of the walk. /
can't remember that he's killed any
body, but that was bekase everybody
swallered his bluffs and stepped around
softly. He has detied the vigilance
committee and he has bluffed this court,
and it'll astonish We to find out jest
what sort Of o critter he is. Yesterday
mornin he starts over the hills fur Tin
Cup City. On the way he meets Pete
the Half Breed. Most of ye know
Pete and most of ye hev heard that
he's got no backbone. Pete was ridip
his cayuse and Sam was hoofln It.
When they come together Sam holds
up his hand and says:
"'Git off'n that boss!
"'What furY asks Pete.
'Bekase want him.
But he's nine
"Then Sam calls him string Of
names 40 rods long. He abuses Petc's
father and mother and all the rest of
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
Would Come ANYHOW.

The Rev. Father Staunton Of the we'll
known Church of st. Alhan, Holborn.
is humorist in lis way and often tells
with inimitable effect . droll story In
the course of his sermon which sends
through the congregation q gentle rip
pie of merrimcnt. On Sunday he sat
irizcd the ambition Of certain people
to use words of which they did not
know the meaning. Many of them
were fond of sticking the letters I'D.
W. in all sorts of places instead OF
using the plain. homely English phrase
God willing He knew one gentle
man, rather shaky in his Latin, who in
n letter 10 4 friend wrote II will be
With You ID, v. on Monday, but any
way on Tuesday. London Telegraph.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
ORIGIN OF THE TERM "MoB"
Used In 1t. First Meaning In Time Of
Chaucer

AS indicating the populace, proven
bially tickle ard easy to be moved mo-
bile, from Latin mobllis,, the express
sion the mobile people" is as old as
the time of Chauccr but in its later
sense, that of the disorderly crowd.
and In Its contracted form, ''mob," 1t is
not older than the postrestoration pc
riod. In Roger North's Examen. 174O,
reference is made to the Green Ribbon
club. lGSO-2, and the writer adds:
~ nla:' 's~ote tllat.etale rabble fist
changed their title and were called the
mob In the assemblies of this club
first mobile vulgus, then contracted in
one syllable" 1t was used hesitating-
ly at first by Dryden C'Don Sebastian"
l690l. Durfy commonwealth Of Wo-
men," lGSS) and Shadwell C"Squire Of
Alsatia." lGSS). and Richardson points
out that Dryden uses both mobile"
and mob" In the sense of rabble, the
former in the stage directions as the
common word. the latter as if it had
not long been introduced.
In I'LL The Spectator instances
mob" as an example OF the popular
tendency to curtail many of our words
in familiar writings and conversation
The verb Ito mob" derived of course
as above, does not occur until the pc
riod Of Horace Walpolc, many years
later. and Shakespeare's expression.
the nobled queen" c'Hamlet'), refers
not to the mob" (mobile), but to the
hcaddrcss in disorder Boston Tran
script.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
Ant Shareholders.

Many of the large rcd ants are slave.
holders, and. oddly enough, their slaves
are Invariably black, much as is the
case with the human race. When
slaves are desired by a colony of ants.
regular army of invasion is formed.
and sllirmishcrs and scouts are sent on
ahead to discover Il nest of black ants.
This having been found. the warrior
nnts-insects quite different from the
ordinary workers, With powerful Jaws
set out to Invade their neighbours ter
rltory and carry away the eggs and
plp;c to their own nests. A fierce bat,
tie cnsues. but the invading ants arc
always victorious.
On returning to their own colony the
young of their defeated foe are taken
into their nests and carefully treated
until they arrive ut maturity, when
they become the willing bondsmen of
the conquerors Of their parents. doing
nll the hardest work of the community,
even to the length of feeding their cap.
tors The latter, however, is not en-.
tircly Il needless humiliation to subject
them to, as some species of slavehold-
ing ants are Incapable of feeding them
selves and would die of starvation In
the midst Of plenty were it not for
their slavcs.--Kansas City Independ.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
Addrenwcd the Jury.

A man who had never seen the In
side OF a courtroom until he was intro
duced as witness in case pending
In one of the Scottish courts, on being
sworn took position with his back
to the jury and began telling the story
to the Judge.
The Judge, in n bland and courteous
manner, said:
address yourself to the jury, SIR
The man made n short pause. but,
notwithstanding what had been said
to him, continued his narrative.
The judge was then more explicit
and said to him: Speak to the jury,
sir, the men sitting behind you on the
benches"
The witness at once turned around
and making an awkward bow said
With perfect gravity:
Good morning, n."-Buffnlo
Courier
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08

Charley Alexander for Recorder, ran
400 ahead of his ticket,
The election was as full of surprises
.s limburger cheese is full of bad
,dor.
The Democrats were full of hope,
snd believed that this year, at least,
We would mop the ground with our
opponents, but we didn't mop-to any
alarming extent There is no place
left for Democrat to hang his harp
on, and he will have to 60 out and
aerd with the cattle like old Nebuchad.
nezzar did. Well, grass isn't bad
liet, after all-it's better than nothing.
Ii there is anything that Demo
;rat can get consolation out of we
haven't discovered it.
1t is like taking med,cine-'sit's He'll,
,ut the directions say take It,"
There is no use growing over spilled
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
A Case of Color nl,ndae,,.

"Yours is Il perpleSing case" said tho
oculist. "Yon call red purple and refer
to nile green as turkey red.'
"Ies," replied the visitor, with con-
tented smile. Il fancy was born that
way"
"It's the most aggravated case of col
or blindness have ever encountered
In my professional experience"
That's it. want you to write me
out statement to that effect Never
mind what the fee is. You see, my
wife has lot of samples she wants
matched, and she'll ask me to tackle
the job some time next week for GER
tain"
And then the oculist had his suspi-
cions.-Pcarson's Weekly.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
THE ENGAGEMENT RING.
Peculiar Ways In Which 1t Cause.
Young Woman to Act.

Peculiar Ways In Which 1t Causes
q Young Woman to Act,
Did you ever have a chance to OBJ
serve, unohserved, young woman's
conduct toward her newly acquired en-
gagement ring?
1t feels SO strange upon her hand
that she cannot refrain from e.Kamin.
Ing 1t dozen times an hour. always,
however, on the sly. On the first night
she sits up an hour later than usual to
admire 1t boldly in the seclusion Of her
own apartment A frequent kiss is ad.
ministered to the shining band and its
glittertng gem, and during the night
She dreams that 1t has fallen into a
stream and awakes ciutching the fin
ger to assure herself that the precious
pledge is still secure.
Then, on the following day, she wears
1t only in secret. taking care to trans
fer it to her pocket at table and when
In the company Of intimates, but place
her among strangers or among casual
acquaintanccs who cannot be inauisi-
tive, and how bravely will she flaunt
the token before their eyes, as one who
should say:
Il may not be the loveliest creature
In the world, but you will observe that
have landed my fish,"
Gradually it assumes it's place in her
daily life, and her bushes grow less
violent with each succeeding explana-
tion of Its significance and each ex-
travagant description of its douor's at-
tributes. But before 1t finally becomes
part OF herself, as 1t were, she must,
OF course. leave it dozen times at
least upon the washstand and suffer in
consequence dozen violent attacks Of
palpitation Of the heart until it is re-
covered.-London Answers.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
u There is any Consolation i'm that Pl
Point il out.
1t Might Have Been Worse, But We
Don't See Row.

milk, especially when you have NO
milk left.
VI course we want your sympathy
but don't offer it for q month or tw,
till the effects of the election wears
off.
The msjorlty rules.
Charley Hllard is 8bont the onls
Democrat west of the Mississippi tina
is elected.
Hanna said there was no trusts, bu'
he didn't seem TO strike it Bs far as
the voters were concerned. They
seemed to trust the republicans.
1t hadn't ought to be very difficul'
to organize an artic expedition today.
The republicans don't seem to know
when they get enough when they ge
started
Now would be good time to pa,
your s'bscription-to the Democratic
papers
lngersoll claimed there was no hell
He ought to have lived until the re.
turns came i'll this morning, and Ii.
would have changed his mind.
When you think of us Democrats
please keep your handkerchiefs IL
your pocket.
The third ward is about the only
place where there was the least BIZ
of consolation for Democrat.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
Why She WI. Right.

Haydn had u peculiar way OF deter
mining the time in which a piece of
music should be sung. On one occa-
sion Il female singer i'll high esteem Mt
court had been appointed to sing one
of Haydn's compositions. at the re-
hearsal she and the conductor differed
as to the time Of the music. The mat
ter was to be settled by referring it to
Haydn himself. When called on to
decide, he asked the conductor il the
singer was handsome.
Very" was the reply. "and spe-
cial favorite with the prince"
Then she is right" replied Haydn.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
Son Stayed In.

Because Mr.. X. q. Morehouse OF
this city attended meeting in Chicago
of fathers of ll3 students of the Culver
Military academy, Indiana, dismissed
last week, it was reported in the Chi
cag0 papers that his son was among
those dismissed. 1t proves that Rex
Morehouse was one of the ninety two
who stayed in the college. Ills father
had friends, however, whose sons were
among the ll3 dismissed for taking
part in Halloween prank, and he ac-
cepted an invitation to attend the
meeting with them World Herald.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
THEY DYE THEIR scALps.
For Beauty After the Heal u.. p..,
Shaved Perfectly smootb


A French explorer has discovered
the vainest people in the world. BY a
curious coincidence they happen to be
also the ugliest. They are the Pa
NOUNS. savage tribe of the western
coast of Africa. The main occupation
or these people is the adornment Of
their persons. AS the Pahouin's cloth
Ing Is Of SO light character as not to
incommode him he bestows good
share of his thought upon the adorn-
ment of his body, which he tattoos in
elaborate designs done in red or blue.
Or more fanciful effect is obtained
by tattooing in relief by injecting un-
derneath the skin the Juice of plant
which produces a permanent swelling.
Sometimes the face and body are also
tinted with dye. red being the color
most In demand.
The same methods are used in adorn-
Ing the face. especial attention being
given to the nose. Many of the Pa
houins after tattooing or painting their
noses pierce them with long, slender
bones. Others after piercing the nose
attach to it string of colored pearls
Both men and women concentrate
their efforts on their hair Their ingc-
nuity, which is shown in the construc.
ton Of scores Of different hcaddresscs
of bone and metal for the men of the
tribe, chiefly the warriors, is illustrated
IN far greater degree by the coiffurcs
of the women.
The extreme Of simplicity in the Pa
bouin women's method in making
themselves beautiful is to shave the
head till 1t is smooth md round as q
ball and then to color it with dye
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
oNlY A CROOKED CENT.
When the Young Woman Thought Il
Wes Gold. She Got Nervous.

WEs Gold. She Got Nervous.
The car had just rounded dead
mans curve at Fourteenth street,
when daintily clad young woman
swishcd something out Of her hand
which as it struck the street was fol-
lowed by a sharp metallic sound.
What w,s that you threw away, my
dear?'' asked her companion, another
girl about the same age.
Money" laconically responded tho
throwcr.
Money" continued her companion
IN 81 Mortified tone of voice. why, it
sounded like gold"
My gracious" shrickcd the thrower.
"Havc thrown away one of those
soldpiecss:"
Ey this time several of the passen-
gers had arisen from their seats and
were locking i'm an indignant way at
the conductor for not stopping the car.
llr. however. was one of those high
coliar,d. stoical young men who bos,
things OH the Broadway cars. and thu.
excitement created by the money
tllrower did not cause him to turn 4,
ing as mcrrily along as Broadway cars
ever do howl. and it was getting far
ther and farther AWAY from the mon
ey. One or two of the passengers We're
about to jump off the car, but then
they thought better of it and turned
their gaze anXiously OH the young wo-
man. who was hunting frantically
through her purse. Just as it seemed
the strain would he too much for the
excited passengers to bear longer the
fair thrower looked up smilingly at her
companion and murmured sweetly:
It's all right, my dear. 1t wasn't a
goldpiecc after ALL"
what was it. then?' asked the Sec
ond young woman
"Only a crooked penny" replied the
thrower. II always throw away crook
ed pennies for luck
Then both girls softly giggled. while
the other passengers. looking both fool
ish and disgusted. resumed their seats.
New York Tribune
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
MACHlNIsTs TALK OF
STRIKE.
10000 Men May Be Affected

The International Association Of
Machinists, which has membership
of 10000 men, threatens strike for q
wage advance of 10 per cent which
has been demanded by it. 1t appears
that the National Metal Trades,
which is the organization of the man
ufacturing machinists, misunderstood
the agreement entered into last spring
At the time of the previous strike for
nine-hour day, and purposes to re
duce the pay of the men when the
new time goes into effect. The ma
chinists of the country want ten hours
pay for nine hours work.
This announcement was made yes
terday by P. j. Conlin, president of
the Trades and Labor assembly, who
IS member of the board of arbitra-
tion of four members of the associa-
tion of machinists. He was summoned
to meeting of the board in Washing
ton next Monday morning. The
other members of the board are A. w.
Holmes, of Toronto, Can; Hugh
Doran, Of Chicago, and j. j. Donnelly.
of Boston: Mr.. Conlin will stop at
Chicago and Proceed thence with Mr..
Dorsn. He will leave here Friday
morning.
at was the purpose of tho previous
STRIKE" said Mr.. Conlin, "to secure q
shorter working day. We expected
too that we would be given the bene-
fit of the prosperity of the country,
and be paid the same wages after the
change of hours as before. The agree
ment entered into which settled the
strike in the spring was for nine and
9 half hour day after November 18,
1900, and for nine-hour day after
May lS. 1901. The first date is at
hand, and We find that our wages are
to be cut, and that after May 18 we
will be paid for only nine hours. The
international Association of Machin-
lists therefore has made demand for q
10 per cent increase. 1t is to consider
the adjustment of this demand that
our board of arbitration is to meet
Sioux City Journal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
NOaehleed.

To stop bleeding at the nose, cut
some blotting paper about an inch
square, roll it about the size Of lead
pencil and put 1t up the nostril that Is
bleeding. The hollow in 1t will allow
the sufferer to breathe The blood will
fill the space between the tube and
the nose and will very soon coagulate
and cease to flow.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
A Secret af Yanth

One night at a reception which SEN
ator Beveridge and attended soon aft
er his election the hostess said in mock
surprise:
"Are you Senator Beveridge, the SEN
ator from Indiana?"
The senator bowed modestly.
ut hardly seems possible. Why, you
are a mere beardless youth!
MADAM" replied Mr.. Beveridge with
out smile. II shave. Saturday Even
ing Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
Mexico,s Rainy Season.

What they call the rainy season in
Mexico comes only in the form Of
showers, which fall in the afternoon.
These showers usually occur every
day, but sometimes there will be two
or three days Of perfectly clear wealth
er. There is no steady downpour, how
ever. as in most tropical countries, and
In Mexico the rainy season is regarded
as the finest season of the year.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
A CatnIoeue.

Miss Mary" said the sable maiden.
1--WE 'spect to have an en'tainment at
our chu'ch mex week. and l got to
speak piece. was Jest goin to ast
you II you had book with some oh
them pieces in?'
"Why, yes, Dora, have book OF
recitations. What kind of a piece do
you want?'
"Well. was thinkin OBJ somep'n in
de nature OBJ catalogue"
"a whatY'
"A catalogue-you know. a piece with
one person a-talkin and mother one
answerin 'em back. Has you got Il
piece like dat? I'd like 1t fust rate."-
New York Tribune.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
Serving the Public.

Wunn-But IL you insist that the
man who works for the public good
without hope Of gaining gratitude is
a crank, what do YOU call the man that
expects gratitude?
Tuther-Him? Oh. he's just a plain
fOol.-Indiannpolis Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08
Paraguay Tea.

When the yerba mate, or native tea
Of Paraguay, is cultivated, the seeds
are treated to an acid bath before
planting. This softens the hard shell
which surrounds the kernel of the
seeds and enables them to sprout in
three or four months. II planted in
their natural state. 1t requires three
or four years for the seeds to germi.
nate.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-08

AL w. Martins beautiful produc
tiOn of Harriet Beecher Stoves legacy
to posterity Uncle Toms CABIN will b.
the attraction at the New Theatre
Tuesday evening, Nov. l3 MIR Mar
tin has spared no expense in providing
his attraction with a lavish amount
of the best scenery that two of the
most noted studios in the country
could supply. The settings are taken
from actual scenes in the far south
and are marvels of beauty end accur-
steness almost transporting one to the
fragrant orange groves and cotton
fields of Sunny Dixie Land. Among
the most prominent scenes is st Glars
louisiana home, showing the typical
plantation house and the surrounding
grounds with its Magnolia trees and
wealth of tropical vendure-Legrees
Red River plantation with the fields OF
cotton IN full bloom. the ice gorge or
the Ohio river which enabled Eliza aro
her child to escape their pursuers, {.
wild bit of Kentucky mountain seem
cry known as the Rocky Pass and b
most gorgeous transformation il
twelve scene called the Celestial CITY
10 add to the realism a large troupe
of colored performers is carried also
donkeys, oxen and horses. The cast is
IN the hands of good reputable dram
attic artists and nothing has been over
looked to make this the best produc.
tion of "Uncle Tom" the stage has
ever seen.
A Pleasant Social Function
On Monday evening Mrs M.Olm-
s,ed entertained IN the charming
manner for which she is noted, a
little company of friends in honor
OF Mrs Blinkiron who has been
renewing old acquaintances during
the past week in our town. The
/ home was decorated with potted
plants. The guests were Mrs
Blinkiron, Mr. and Mrs L NJ KeI-
logg, Mrs Henry Warner Mr. and
Mrs Charles Warner and Miss
Harriet Warner the refreshments
we're eumptuous and elegant. A
delightful evening was passed by
those present. Mrs Blinkiron de-
parted Tuesday morning for Oak
land Neb. to vista daughter after
which she will return to her home
J in Los Angeles, California.