davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance., 1900-06-22
A GENEALOGICAL JOKE.
The Unique Basis Of an Aspirina
EnGlishman's Alliance with
Royalty.

The fruit that grows on the gene.
illogical tree is.generally dry, but not
always dry with humor. Occasionally
it develops little juice, which surely
should be carefully preserved. "Sylva-
nus Urban tells in the Cornhil1 Mag
azine a story which we gladly perpet.
uate.
A man applied to the herald's COL
lege for coat-of-arms. In such q
case it is pleasant to be able to bor-
row one from celebrated ancestor.
This man could not remember that he
had great-grandfather or a. grand
mother, even, and of course could not
mention any achievement by any of
his ancestors which could be used as
the basis of a coat-of-arms.
But the officer to whom he applied
was not easily discouraged "Have
you net done something yourself::" he
asked.>
Nothing, I fear," said the man, add.
ing as pathetic antithesis, that once
"being locked in Ludgate prison for
debt, fopnd means to escape from an
upper window"
''And how did you get down.
II got cord, fxed It around the
neck of King Lud's statue, and low.
cred myself down." .
"Just the thing! There you nave il
honor enough. Lineally descended
from King Lud. His coat-of-arms is
good enough for you" !. :
4 ..,.&. s~ :,f Food for Thought.
| The price OF horses keeps going up
says the Chicago Times-Herald, in spite
of the fact that Ladysmith and Mafe-
king have been relieved. 4 4#. ss.s. s# , Fl
The Worthington advance., 1900-06-22
He wou1d m R.++.-

Visitor to the Penitentiary-Now,
my man, when you are released hope
you'll turn over a new leaf.
Prisoner-I intend to. I've been
burglar, but I've made up my mind
that there's more money in forgery.
Harlem Life
The Worthington advance., 1900-06-22
The Biggest City.

. london is IL mics broad one way
and 17#the other, and every year sees
about 20 miles Of new streets added
to it.
The Worthington advance., 1900-06-22

It sometimes happens that the man
who knows his own mind doesn't know
much after all. Chicago Daily News. q
The Worthington advance., 1900-06-22
stonevall Jackson'x Calxe

II read an article recently about the
decline of the buclwheat CROP" said
Virginian. II know one man who will
regret to hear it," he continued. "He
was with Stonewall Jackson and Jack
son was fond of buckwheat cakes at
all seasons. This soldier used to be
detailed to skirmish for 'buckwheat
flour for Jackson, and when he9 sue
ceeded he made the batter and did
the cooking of the cakes. In that way
he became as fond Of buckwheat as
Jackson, and he tells me has never
missed having buckwheat cakes for
breakfast since the war. Although he
has servants he insists on preparing
the flour for the griddle. and unless
ne is indisposed he superintends the
baking of the cakes. For this purpose
he has small stove in his dining-roomr
and has his cakes hot as he%swants
them. He also has a, particular brand
Of sausage meat which prepared in
Virginia, and this invariably goes with
his cakes. If the buckwheat crop dis
appears first this man will 60 soon
after."-N.{Y. Sun. ge@s{::9rS II 8 Il,
The Worthington advance., 1900-06-22
VENERABLE WAR NURSE.
"M0ther Stewart" of Ohio, Celebrntei
Her EiEhty-FOurth Birth
day-Her Work.

Probably no woman in Ohio is bet
ter known than Mother Stewart" as
Mrs. Eliza D. Stewart, of Springfield,
is affectionately called, who celebrated
her eighty-fourth birthday ami
versary a few days ago.
''As a speaker on temperance sub
jects," said Woman's Christian Tenn
perance union officer the other day,
her influence upon her audience is so
powerful that she has been called a
Wendell Phillips in petticoats,' and
even now, from her invalid's couch, her
letters give inspiration to those who
are working in her beloved cause" :.
Among her most highly priced pos
sessions is framed certificate bearing
official signatures and testifying to
the valuable services she rendered in
the field hospitals of the civil war. She
has also pass: signed by Gen. Thomas S
and given to her in those days, ad-
mitting her through the lines at any
time. In her room is a framed copy
of the song: "Slcrman's March to the
Sea-" written and signed by the author.
Her war "reminiscences would fill a
large volume. She we'll recalls stand
ing on a picket guard in Athens, O..
all night, while the men were employed
in telling trees and building fortifica-
tions.
The British Woman's Temperance
association owes it's origin to Mother
Stewart" who also introduced the
blue ribbon pledge work among the
colored people of Virginia in 1878. Her
active work for temperance began in
1853 and continued until 1895. when she
went as delegate to the worlds
Woman's Christian Temperance union
convention in London, her expenses be-
ing paid By Lady Aberdeen
The Worthington advance., 1900-06-22
How Major Wharton Let Go
BY n. Quad.


(From the National Magazine, by Permission.)
The Worthington advance., 1900-06-22

disc" was hers. What was. hers was
also the majors. 1t didn't take Chi
cago lawyer and commissioner of
deeds two hours to complete the trans
fer, and it was happy, rejoicing wom-
an who went west on the ten o'clock
train. The proper thing to do was to
telegraph her husband again, and she
sent him a dispatch which lifted him
out Of his rocking chair, as he sat
smoking and chuckling in his library
at home. There wasn't much to it, but
every word pulled his hair on end.
."Congratulate your little wife! I have
bought the Paradise mine for a tenth OF
Its value, and have the deed in my pocket!
Home Thursday evening"
The major didn't sleep that night as
business, and men missed him off the
street for the next two days. He made
hundred attempts to figure out how
his wife had got hold of that mine, but
could arrive at no satisfactory conc.u-
sion. AS he waited for her arrival he
tried to make himself believe that it
was one of her little jokes. Two or
three times in their married life she
had attempted to spring jokes on him
They had been dismal failures, but per
haps she was not discouraged. The
man who tries hard enough to make
believe in anything can succeed up to a
certain point. The majors hair set,
tied down on the second day, and he ac-
tually caught himself whistling now
and then. but he refrained from going
to his office. He>even thought it better
not to go to the depot to meet his wife
It was all over within two minutes
after he had opened the door. to her
She fell into his arms with a giggle and
fell out again with a laugh. She fell
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14
TRADE FOLLOWS THE FLAG.
An OGiciaI showing OF Trade CondI.
lions That Proves the FHIIncy
of BrSnnitc Assertions.

The democratic party is never so
concerned as when the trade, manu-
facturics and commerce OF the United
States are i'm a houri>hinp condition
and labor fully employed at good
wages. Therefore the fact that Cuba.
Porto Rico and the Philippines for
mcriy afforded a market for over
$}2.0o0.0o0 worth of Spanish goods
per anmm. and that ~ reason of
close relations with Cuba. and SUI
prcmacy i'm the Philippines and Porto
Rico. this vast trade will now come 10
the United states and be paid. the
great bulk OF it. TO American work
men I'm United States factories makes
the democratic anti-imperillists at
their wits ends They have always
preferred 10 have the factories of this
country closed and the factories Of
Europe working overtime. When TO
the trade that is coming TO this coun-
try from Cuba, Porto Rico and the
Philippines is added that of Hawaii,
the race of the democrats and anti
imperulists SURPRISES all bounds. al
though the American wage worker is
very tranquil and pleased over the
outlook. The following figures from
the official report of the United States
b4rcau Of statistics. treasury depart
ment. for the fiscal year ending June
20 1900. are very interesting and in
structive In 1896 the United States
exported 10 Cuba $780, SIS. For the
year ending June 30. 1900, the exports
10 Cuba were S2G,jl3.613. an increase
Of nearly Si9,00O.O0O. In 1896 the
United States exports TO Porto Rico
were S21o20g4. For the year ending
June 30, 1900. they were S4.640.I Isl. an
increase Of over S2.0O0,000. In 1876
our exports to the Philippines were
SlC2 lu6. For the year ending June
30, 1900, they were S2.640, 40. an in
crease Of two and a quarter million
dollars. I'm 1896 our exports TO the
Hawaiian islands were $3.50 07. For
the fiscal year ending June 30. 1900.
they were S13,5O9.14s an increase of
S9.523.441. Here is a total increase of
over S33. 10000 in five years. over
S33.OOO.O 900 more in the year ending
June 30, 1900, spent among American
merchants. manufacturers and farm
ers than i'm 1896. the great bulk of il
going TO labor. These splendid figures
are steadily increasing. and when the
American farmer and wage worker in
the factories see the mighty market
opening up 10 them where the Amer
lean flag waves, the fake cry of inn
react on them who have raised il
merely in order 10 distract attention
from the scheme of free trade. rotten
money and ascent dollars.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

ssdO 900 600 i'm gold. payment for the
1 prod of American toll. The money
N eireula tioa exceeds that of any pre-,
vious time, being S2d-3s per capita
The stock of gold at command as
money in this country has increased
nearly so per cent since March 1,
1897.
Our diplomatic triumphs equally
with the victories of our arms have re-
bounded 10 our credit. Negotiations
for an open door IN China and later ne
gotiations whereby American G;plo-
macy was the key TO Picking have been
fully recognized by other nations. The
president has wisely withdrawn this
nation from an entangling alliance
with European powers in the govern
ment of the Samoan islands, securing
al the same time the absolute control
of the most important island of that
group, which is regarded as the best
harbor in the Southern Pacific. The
Hawaiian islands have been added TO
our posse ssions. "A government estab-
lished there. and the flag which the
democracy when in power had dishon-
ored again floats over those islands. an
enduring emblem OF our national SOW
ereignty.
As a result Of the war Spanish Cuba
was freed from Spanish rule and the
pathway paved for it's early independ-
ence. Porto Rico welcomed Gen. Miles
and his army. not as invaders, but as
messengers of mercy on a mission of
peace. We acquired unquestioned title
10 the numbered islands in the east
ern archipelago; by such acquisition
we were called upon TO exercise SOW
ereignty over so different tribes unlike
in language, customs and civilization.
The patriotic action of the president
has quelled an insurrection of the Tag
alos against our authority. and a
stable government is now being pro-
viGed which will recognize home rule
so far as the condition of the islanders
juStifes.
These are the grand achievements
which the administration of President
Mckinley has written on the later
pages of American history. These
facts of record in the annals Of the
republic and which have so greatly
prospere6 the nation and sheCsan added
and imperishable luster upon our
name. are ignored by the Bryantes as
unconsidered trifies. II the people in
November approve the American poll
icy of the administration by the re-
election of President Mckinley the ma
tion will be saved from the infamy of a
dcbaSed dollar. an impaired credit and
a Gishonorcd flag.
EDWARD S. TAYLOR.
Evanston, H.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

For Governor
N. .3AARON T. BLISS, OF Saginaw.
For Lieutenant Governor
= ORRIN w. ROBINSON, or Houghton
For Secretary of State
FRED VI. WARNER, of Oakland.
For State Treasure
- DANIEL Mccoy OF Kent
For Auditor Genera -
PERRY +. POWERS, o Wexford.
For State Land Com missioner
4. a. Will DEY. OF Van Buren,.
For Attorney General
HOaACE NJ. OREN. Chippewa
For Superintendent OF public Instruction -
DELOS VI. FALL. OF Calhoun.
For Member of state BOARD Of Educstiou-
JAMES VI. THOMPSON, OF Osceola.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

The tears of Senator Teller tl1w on
very slight provocation. He wept at 81.
Louis in 1896, aud the moisture took
possession oe his eyes az Kansas City
last month. If the senator will take the
pains to investigate conditions in his
own state he will ascertain that great
m ny of the men who have been follow
ing him have driol their eyes and re-
turned to the Republican fold.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

For Representative
JOHN w HOLMES OF Arcadia
For Judge Of Probate
ISSAC ;. >EAVER of Fulton.
For sheriff
JOHN IL PARISH OF Wheeler.
For Clerk
A EL9E2r p. LANE Of Ithaca.
For Treasurer
DANIEL L. SHARR AR Of Arcadia
For Register OF Deeds
ALBEIT IL. LOWRY Of st. Louis.
For Prosecuting Attorney-
JULIAS Is. KIRBY Of Ithaca.
For surveyor
e. ". REDHAN Of Bethany.
For Circuit nurt Com mission RS
MARVIN x. = ALFEt II Ithaca
FRANK No Mort OF Ithaca
For COrouers- ........,., 81.
MERRILL q. B\SSETf Of Elba
a. HOWE OF Wheeler.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

The Democrats certainly did great
stro<e of business az Ithaca Tuesday
One thing Is certain, a weaker ticket
could not have been nam d had they
tried. They attempted % swallow
everything aud lost sight of their nomi
nations.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

General Frsdiuand Q Latrobe, an old
line Democrat Who served as mayor OF
Baltimore for seven terms, declares that
Mckinley aud Roosevelt Will carry
Maryland by a handsome majority
Mr.. German declines TO Identify HIM
self with the B,yal campaign in that
state
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

If there is position within the gift Of
tn people that should be filed by cap
able business men aud men, of state and
national experience, it is the office OF
c lgressman In this respect a. 3, Oar
ragh is excalled by few in the state.
A vote for him means a vote for bus
mess administration, one of benefit 10 the
state aud nation
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

At the anti.R-puollcaa convention at
Ithaca Tuesday after the nominations
were made and an invoice taken OF
their weakness they did not dare u con.
time the work so they elected @. Nj.
Brown Democratic chairmln of the
county committee with power 70 APP.
point members IN each town aud boss
the Job from now on.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

The Republican convention of thu &c
ond representative district Of Montcalm
county unanimously nominated b. J.
Lowry, editor of the Howard City Rec
ord
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

Chairman Jones declares that the
Cotton Compress Trust, of which he is
a stakeholder and beneficiary, is author
lied by the constitution. We believe
the same claim was set up by the pro
motors of the T I'M many Ice Trust.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

The BATH ship Oregon Will come home
with patch on her hull. This was the
normal condition OF the American Ia
borer's trousers during the late Demo-
cratic administration
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

Some Of tle Democratic editors in he
county shell tears last week because our
county ticket was not made mp of farm e
ers. Will they please enumerate the
farmers on their ticket.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

The Texas Democrats are engaged in
lively internal rumpus. The "Boxer"
element is bent upon making trouble
and intervention by Chairman Jones'
forces may BE- necessary.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

Murmurs of dissatisfaction over the
Democratic county nominations are
heard all over the county and from
source very distasteful to the party.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14
EVERY PLEDGE FULFILLED.
Achievements of the Republican Ad-
ministration Are Without
Parallel.
AMERICAN INDUSTRIES ARE PROTECTED.

National Honor and Public Credit
Ably Upheld by President Mckin-
Iey-Diplomntic Triumphs I'm For
eign Affairs Honorable AcGuisi-
ton Of Valuable Outside Territory.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

Some recent events have tend ID 10
take the blrbed wire edges of of tn
word "militari m "
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14
SENnTORIAJ.
COUNT Y.

For State Senator Goth Senatorial District
HIRAM HIGH. OF Ovid.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14
Republican Nominations.
NATION Al.

For President
WILLIAM MCKINLEY. of Ohio
For Vice resident
THEODORE ROOSEVELT, OF New York
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14
Property In Pennsylvania.

The production of iron and steel in
Allegheny county, Pennsylvania i'm
the two calendar years 1897 and 1899
was as follows:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14
ESSIONAL
STATE

For Congress. nth District
A. Is. DARRAG n. of Gratiot.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1900-09-14

For Representative
JOHN w HOLMES OF Arcadia.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-09-10
NEWS FROM ALEXANDRIA,.

ALEXANDRIA. Sept 9.-Notwithstand-
ing the heat Of today. the churches had
excellent congregations. and the regular
pastors. most OF whom have returned from
their vacations, filled the pulpits. The
only ministers from abroad were Rev. E
c. Gilmore, who preached morning and
night at the Presbyterian Church. and in
the afternoon led the services at the Rail-
road Reading Room. and Rev. H. Shredder,
who oficlated tonight at the German Luz
;heran Church.
A number Of knights of Columbus from
Washington were present this afternoon
at the first installation of officers Of Fitz-
gerald Council. of this city. John Callahan
George Pulaski, J. F. Msrsden, j. Burns
George Boyle, and d. Normoyle of Wash
Carey, Of Norfolk visited the council al
Odd Fellows Hall, and State Deputy
Grand Knight Callih1n installed Grand
knight German. Deputy Grand Knight
Lennon, Secretaries Hanratty and Quinn
Warden Kelly, Chancellor Birrell. Treas
urer Mckinney. Lecturer Carne, Councillor
NormoFle, Guards Dryer and Downey, and
Trustees Sweeney and Carne. After the
close Of the exercises 4 collation. was
served.
Warrants were Issued tonight for Dicl
Burnett, charged with selling liquor on
Sunday, ard for two white men and col
ored man charged with gambling in a sta
bic near the Stone Bridge The cases viii
be heard by the mayor tomorrow.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-09-10
MANY ROADSIDE FREEDOM
How Fugitives From Justice May
Escape From the City.
The Case of Dorsey FouItz Recalled
-RniIroad DcpOts Usually Avoided
by the Sbrewd Crlmfna1-1raihs
boarded in the Suburbs - Canal
Toyypath One Route to Liberty.

One bright afternoon in early July, 1897.
\ murder was committed in the Second
police precinct, near the corner of Second
and n Streets northwest. Monk ROBIN
son. a negro barber. was the victim, Dor
sew Foultz. the murderer, and quarrel
over a woman the cause. shot from a
bulldog revolver ended Rob!ason's life and
made Dorsey fugitive. The police were
called. Robinson was hurried to hospital,
but death resulted from his wound. Mean
while Dorsey F0ultZ had disappeared, and
all efforts to locate the murderer have
proved fruitless.
Just how Dorsey Foultz escaped from
the city has ever been a mystery. There
are many ways, says veteran detective,
for criminals to get out of town. In CON
yersation recently, Detective Helan, one
of the most experienced sleuths in the
Police Department ana a keen observer,
gave a Times reporter an idea OF schemes
worked by escaping criminals.
Il was never specially detailed in the
FouItz case said Detective Helan, but
can readily see how escape might have
been possible. There are almost in
Vulnerable ways for avoiding the police
time is given the criminal. First, as
rule. the murderer. the burglar, or other
criminal thinks OF the railway depots.
BY taking Il train he can soon be many
miles away go to New York, Chicago.
Philadelphia, or other large city, and
there go into temporary hiding. Most
criminals are shrewd enough. however,
to know that first OF all. the depots are
closely watched. The detectives in this
city are always stationed at the depots,
ready TO Pick up stray characters. Grim
mails or suspicious persons Here, then
lies the danger of attempted escape by
train.
But a method frequently adopted,
and often successful, is that of boarding
a train in the suburbs of the city. Most
trains run quite slowly through the city
streets after leaving the depot, thus al
lowing persons to jump aboard. l recall
one case. although it occurred at Cum
berland Md. some years ago. of an at
tempt at escape by this method. 1t was
during the hunt for Searcy, the Aqua
Creek train robber, when detectives by
the score we're working on the case.
Some weeks had PASSED after the hold
IN and police everywhere were on the
alert Early one morning at Cumber
land A policeman saw two men. one
carving valise, dash from a small
hotel. run half block. and attempt to
board an outgoing express train bound
for the West. The men had misjudged
their sprinting ability. for the train d s.
tanced them and the policeman took
them into custody. They were held first
on suspicion. but afterward were identi-
fed, one as Searcy, the other as an ac-
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-09-10
A SUNDAY NIGHT BLAZE.
Loss of $500 by Fire In the Central
National Bank Building.

Fire of unknown origin broke out about
IL O'Clock last night on the fifth floor OF
the Central National Bank Building, cor
ner Of Seventh Street and PENNSYLVANIA
Avenue northwest. A loss estimated at
$500 resulted.
An alarm was turned in by the First
precinct police from box 1874. to which
engines 2, 4. 6. and Il responded, to-
getiler with truck c.
The blaze was discovered by Miss Maud
Sheetz, daughter OF the janitor of the
building. She notified John Bolden, a
Waterman, who communicated with the
police. The blaze was confined 10 rooms
II and IS. in the former of which 1t orig
mated. The apartments are occupied by
X. s. Bartell, an engraver. whose loss to
stock will probably be slight.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-09-10
CONVENTION OF PLAsTERERs.
Sixteenth Annual Meeting of the In
ternationaI Union.

The sixteenth annual convention of the
Operative Plasterers' International Union
will be opened today in this city. The
National Hotel has been made headquar-
tiers for the delegates. and the meetings
will be held in the commercial parloTs al
that place. It is expected that the con-
vention will remain in session for week
and two meetings vii, be held each day
until adjournment. The convention will
be called to order by w. D. Wilson, Ma
tional President Of the union, and there
viii be present about one hundred dele
gates representing forty cities and one
hundred and three affiliated unions.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-09-10

complete in the robbery. Later they
we're tried and sent to the Virginia peni-
Tertiary, where they are now serving
terms.
There are criminals who do not take
a train out of a city. These men often
leave by boat, go to Norfolk. Va, or
some other point, there intending to
start out without suspicion attaching to
them. Then we have known men to 90
up the canal, following the towpath on
foot, horseback, or, at times. on canal
boat, stopping at some point between
here anc Cumberland Nd. and taking
a train from that point to the West
Some criminals think it best to remain
in the city for several days after com
mitting a crime, thus hoping to let the
first excitement OF the tragedy die cut
and thereby increase their chances for
escape 1t would require many pages OF
a volume to explain the varied methods
used by criminals to escape from the
police