Willmar tribune., 1900-03-21

that, but I've spent matter of $s5
more for fertilizers since took the
place. What you throw into that there
wagon don't do nobody no good. It
don't hold it's shape long enough to
pass fer a. tatur and get paid for as
SIGH; it jist grinds up inter dust and
shakes out of the wagon on the road
to town."
Lem retorted: 'Uncle Peter, don't
you reckon you git even on that with
what mud you bring in off the road in
wet weather?"
The hoe had been bought at the store
where the pleasant and outrageous
town of Lombard now is. When it was
new Uncle Peter used to treat it like
fne-tempered razor. He never al
lowed hired man to use it, and he
used to bring it in with him from the
field at noon and stand it up in the
kitchen, where he coul id watch it while
he ate his dinner. When the years
work was done he would give it a coat
of axle grease to protect it from rust
and then would lock it up in the tool
shed.
In course of time, however, the hoe
grew dull, and Uncle Peter had to take
file to it. After the third filing he
let Lem jackson take it to hill up the
beans, and Lem got tired and leaned
on it too heavily.
Uncle Peter took it very had. He told
Lem he would just as soon have had
him haul off and slap him in the face.
The hired man offered to pay for the
hoe, and Uncle Peter said that was the
least he could do. He held back $1.65 of
LENS wages, figuring Is cents for
wagon hauling from Lombard. Then
he nailed up the fracture in the handle
and swathed it with wire, and, handing
it to Lem, told him to use it more care
fully in future.
II dunno but I ought to charge you
fer my time a-fixin' it" remarked Uncle
Peter.
The hired man said he'd like to know
how he made that out, and 'accordin'
to the way he fggered the hoe be-
longed ter him."
II amt a-goin' to argyer with you
about it," said Uncle Peter, with dig
nifty. "The hoes mine. bought an
paid fer it. If it was yours I'd still be
entitled to charge you for repairs, but
I didn't say that would charge you.
I only said ought to charge you and
so I ought. BY gum! I b'lieve I will
charge YOU"
''When you get man that'n do
things like that you've got mighty
mean man." said Uncle Peters brother.
in-law.
II used to pity his women folks" he
continued. "Ife had right nice wife
and as saving as woman need be
but she wasn't saving enough fo1
Peter. He'd go nosing around in the
pantry and figuring with them on the
laundry soap, and he'd pick up a scrap
of something or another that he didn't
think ought to be thrown out and pack
it back into the house and say: See
here, M'rier; these blamed spen' thrift
ways of yours had ought to be quit At
the same time he never got mad OF
mean before company. When there
was company at the house, his wife told
my wife once, she used to sit and just
look at him and wonder if it could be
that she was mistaken about him after
all.'
About this time something usually
occurs to break the thread of the mar.
rative. It seems to work the same way
with the nephew, so that a nobody in the
suburb has ever heard the story of the
hoe in it's fullness. Both father and
son start in good faith, but the tempta.
tion to digress is too much for them
They cannot resist telling about the
time that Uncle Peter insisted on the
utilization of the water in which Aunt
Maria boiled the potatoes he in.
sisted that potato soup was palatable
and nutritious article of diet, and
would by no means be convinced that
it was at least necessary to peel the
potatoes before boiling them, holding
the peeling of potatoes to be sinful
waste. A hundred instances of their
relations frugality tempt them to
daily in side paths from the straight
and beaten track. The hoe has been
filed down to a stub since it was last
delivered to the hired man, and
there is rumor that man in the
subdivision named Wheeler was told
that a neighbor came by night and
borrowed it, but beyond that is moth
ing but the most vague surmise. It
is agreed, however, that Uncle Peter
is a pleasant, chatty old man. In
fact, he seems to be liked outside OF
his family.-Chicago Daily Record.