Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1900-09-06
HOW TO MANAGE A MAN.
The Perfect System Has Been Evolved
by q Resourceful Little Woman.

All the women at the church social
had acknowledged their utter inabil-
| ity to manage their husbands, when
timid looking little matron who
had been ignored by the rest was OBJ
| served fidgeting in her chair, says the
| Chicago Chronicle. At last she spoke,
at first with hesitation, but growing
bolder as she progressed. MY sys-
tenn is an old one" she said. Its
| based upon the natural born con-
| trariness of the human male biped.
"We will suppose that / am just
| perishing for a new tailor made
| dress, although / have one that Jack
| thinks ought to see me through the
| season. Very well. / make up my
mind to have a new tailor made dress,
and | hunt around my women friends
to find out who has recently acquired
a stunning tailor made dress. l tell
| her my little scheme and she comes
| and visits me while Jack is home, and
she wears her new tailor made dress.
| She looks tremendously fetching in
| it, of course. When she goes | don't
say a word. | wait for Jack to say
what know he's going to say.
"By Jove, my dear he's bound to
| remark, wasn't that a swell rig,
| though. she had on? Say, | wonder
how much those togs cost-anything
within reach?'
"'O,' L say, '$45 or so, but I
wouldn't care for dress like that;,
it's too tight and too conspicuous,
don't you think?
"'No, | don't think anything of the
sort my brave Jack is almost bound
to say. Il think it's just the real
thing, and it's a wonder you wouldn't
dress the way ] want you TO dress,
my dear. Now, / like that dress, and
m blamed if I'm not going to have
you get one just like it, etc. Results:
/ get the dress, which is just exactly
the kind of dress l am perishing
| for.
"Another case. Supposing l am
| particularly anxious to see some the
atrical star who is going to be in
Washington next week and | feel
that Jack isn't very enthusiastic
about going.
1 see So-and-so is giving to be
here next week, Jack ! say, casually,
q never thought much of his--or her
acting, did you?'
Jack drops his paper and regards
me from a very great height indeed.
"'Now, my dear, that just shows
how vitiated you have permitted
| your thea trical taste to become he
will reply in nine cases out Of ten.
'So-and-so's way at the top in my
, estimation and ! wouldn't miss see
ing him-or her-ncXt week for any
| thing. What's more, I'm Just going
to take you along TO see if you can't
learn to appreciated etc, etc. Thus
| go to precisely the theatrical at
traction next week that I've been
waiting to come around this way all
| the season.
still another illustration: Sup
posing | want to go to the seashore
this summer instead of to the noun
tains. ! begin about now attacking
the seashore to Jack-not violently,
but in mild sort of way.
"I think it is stupid at the
| beaches / say to him, and | keep on
saying similar things until he bursts
| out with:
| "'That's a queer way to talk, isn't
it? If it's so stupid at the beaches
| then there must be millions OF stupid
people in this country that have all
kinds of fun at the seashore every
| summer. | don't know where you're
| going this summer, but I'll tell you
one thing, I'm going to put in my va
cation at the seashore.' Thus that is
accomplished.
The poor human male biped can't
help it; he's born contrary, but he's
so dreadfully, hopelessIy easy when
you know how to make out of his
very contrariness a tool wherewith
to manage him.
A Gentle Slap.