davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28
O,Connell and Massey,

Laughter has been fatal to ut least
one bill in the house Of commons. In
the days of O'Connell Thomas Massey,
who was sworn foe to everything
that suggested popery, introduced n
bill to abolish the suffix "mas" from all
words in our language and to substi-
tute tide" thus converting "Christ-
mas" into "Christtide," and SO on.
When he had ended his Introductory
speech, C'Connell got up and said:
"Since the honorable member has such
an insuperable objection to the word
mas why does he not set good ex-
ample by anglicizing his own name
In that case we should be quite willing
to speak of him as Thotlde Tidey."
The house rolled with appreciative
laughter, and Mr.. Massey never rccov-
cred sufficient courage to speak Of the
bill again.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28
Theatres Free for 1901

The international Drama a
leading Theatrical paper desires
to arrange with some lady or gen.
tleman in every town in the Uni
ted States to send in brief week
ly report of the happenings of the
theatres in their town for the sea-
son of l900-l. For this service
they issue to the correspondent
their "Critic's Credential card"
which entities them to the usual
courtesies of Dramatic Papers
1.-TWO passes to each play). 1t is
not hard task nordoes it require
an experienced newspaper writer,
but they must have responsible
person who will not abuse the
privileges. The "Critic's Card
enables the correspondent to see
allplays that are presented during
the season without expense. Fol
full particulars address, Editorial
Dept, The Duane Publishing Co.
Publishers, % Duane st.. n. 7.
jy2
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28

Starvation never yet cured dyspepsia
Persons with indigestion are already
half starved. They need plenty OF
wholesome food. Kodol Dyspepsia
Cure digests what you eat so the body
can be nourished while the worn out
organs are being reconstructed. 1t is
the only preparation known that will
instantly relieve and completely cure
all stomach troubles. Try it If you are
suffering from indigestion. 1t Will GER
tainly do you good.
If Elliott s Harvey.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28

English tourist parties are commenc.
ing to arrive. The canal route between
Stockholm and this city is the popular
route and every steamer which comes
and goes is filled with travellers.
Tho heirs of P. A. Winslow, tho noted
botanist of this city, have donated the
herbarium to the University of Lund.
1t is the largest private collection in
Sweden.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28
Our "Arctic' soda water is simply
great" is the verdict of all who have
tried it. Central Drug Store.

If you want tLs cost laundry
W. TX that can be dons in Iowa;
take your bundle to Ed Bradley
agent for Eagle Laundry, Council
Bluffs. Remember the basket
leaves every Tuesday and returns
every Friday. If
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28
Saved HerLife.

Riggs-Hear about Mrs. Titewadd?
Told her husband she would kill her.
self IL he didn't buy her new bonnet.
Jiggs-What did Titewadd do?
Riggs-Got estimates on funerals,
found he could save 50 by buying the
bonnet and saved her life.-Baltimorc
American.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28
strnnre A6afr.

1T is shameful the way Marmaduke
McCorker has treated Miss Fitzper-
kins."
"What did he do?"
"Oh, he stimulated her to improve
her mind and then broke the engage
ment on-the ground that he was afraid
to marry woman who knew SO
much. Journal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28

Many man hes been insured
against Bright's disease, diabetes, or
other dangerous ailment by fifty cent
bottle Of Foley's Kidney Cure. G
Osborne.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28

A self closing door spring adds to
the anger OF the angry man who wants
to slam the door.-Chicago News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28
Unless food is digested quickly il

Unless food Is digested quickly it
will ferment and irritate the stomach.
After each meal take q teaspoonful of
K0dol Dyspepsia Cure. 1t digests what
you eat and will allow you to eat ali
you need of what you like. 1t never
fails to cure the worst cases of dyspep.
sis. It il pleasant to take.
tt Elliott & Harvey.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28

eff it isn't an Eastman it isn't a
Kodak" We are agents for ko-
daks and supplies.
] d Brown & Son.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28
Cheap lnourance,

The occupants Of balloon a mile
high command radius Of 9G miles.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28
CAsTozfA
Bear, tho The Kind You Have Always Bought
''s; :; l(1AzlzzSx
NEWS FROM Scandinavia
INTERESTING ITEMS FROM SWEDEN
NORWAY AND DENMARK.

Honors Being Heaped on King Oscar al
Paris-His Visit to tho American Pa.
vilion-Unique Swedish Celebration iu
the Big Woods of Mainc-Forest Fires
In tho District of krOoneburg-Great
Growth of Socialism in Norway-Pop.
ular Norwegian Actress Itetires-Gen.
oral Cronjc of Danish Descent-Mona.
mcnt to Queen Louise Unveiled al
Copenhagen.
PARIS, June 16.-The past week in
Paris has been the king of Sweden s
week. For this sovereign has been
taken everywhere where social life is tc
be seen, and in spite of his years he has
showed neither lassitude nor fatigue.
King Oscar II is very popular in France,
and as grandson of Marshal Berna-
dotto, he declared OH his arrival that he
was grandson of France, a compli.
ment which has given great pleasure.
On Sunday, at the Grand Prix, where
Semendria, Baron Schickler's tilly, beat
favorites of the Ephrussi stable, the
king was loudly cheered, and upon
leaving the paddock, was forced tic
stand up up in his carriage for 10 min
utes to salute the crowd.
On Friday the king saw the palace OF
electricity and the palace of illusions,
two marvels which the public will only
see for the first time on Sunday next
They were specially illuminated for his
majesty, who was charmed with the
attention.
Oscar visited the United States pavil.
ion at the exposition today and was re-
coived by tho American officials and
national commissioners. He inspected
the building and, noticing the Ameri.
can flag, said: 1--WE all respect that. .
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28
What He Would Ee.,

II don't think" said the observant
hoarder, that should care to propose
to girl addicted to photography"
"And why not" asked the cross eyed
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28
Preparing For a .Dewel."

One Of the most remarkable docu-
ments that have ever come under our
observation is to be found in the case
of ex parte Scoggln, Tex. App. SAG.
Mr.. Scoggin was under Indictment for
the murder of one William Gerard.
and an extract from memorandum
book in defendants handwriting and
found near the body ran US follows:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28

II should be afraid that she would
seize the opportunity to develop mega
tive."-Pittsburg acknowledgement.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-06-28
JOHNSON Co.. TX. Jan. "a. 1875.

JOHNSON Co., TX, Jan. "a, 1915.
Az this may bee the last pcnciling that may
ever do on Garth May heaven Bless me and the
man that going to fte. for we have been
travling to gcathcr some time and have fell out
bought the sum Of s25 and have agreed to fight
dewcl this Butiful night Of lord, and as one
Of us has to die May hcven bless US, as this is the
last half hour on earth with one Of us. heven
Scog- Bornd and rased in TX. Sincd by William
Jirod, Bornd in Illinois,
Mr.. scoggln's picty apparently
brought victory to him in the "dewcl,"
for his adversary when found appear
ed to have been struck behind the ear
by a 10 inch shell.-Law Notes.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19

ahzing the advantages of being pro-
tected by powerful nation. They are
all nominally Christians, though not
all of one sect. Most of them follow
the English missionaries, though few
are Catholics. A good many heather
superstitions and customs survive. The
women are the most virtuous savages
in the world, though their marriage
customs seem to more civilized nations
somewhat lax. The marriage relation
endures only so long as mutuallyagree-
able, when a separation is at once
granted. Several of the workmen who
are constructing the wharves have
formed alliances with the natives, who
make good wives and are extremely
proud of their white husbands. They
are industrious and make good house
keepers. There are many chiefs among
the natives and they are accorded GER
tain privileges and great Difference but
the paramount chief over all is Mounga,
a magnificent specimen of physical
strength, who stands six feet two
inches in his bare feet. His wife is
considered a fair type of an island
beauty.
The island is productive and yields
ample supplies of bread fruit, taro and
bananas, which constitute the princi-
pal articles of food consumption. The
waters also abound in fish, and the
natives are very expert in catching
them.
Besides the natives raise quantities
of pigs and fowls, which they sell to
passing vessels. The community is a
happy one, and quarrels are infrequent.
The climate is very warm and enervat-
ing, though the workmen employed at
wharf-building enjoy excellent health.
The distance from Apia to pango
Pango is So miles, though the two is
lands are only separated b. a narrow
strait.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

A single journal in Paris causes the
destruction of 100000 trees a year as
material for paper.
The orange business in southern
California now represents an invest
ment of about $44,OOO,OOO.
Thirty years ago there were only
about 25 explosive compounds known.
Now there are more than LOO.
In Camden county, Ga, saw and
grist mill gets its power from a wa
ter wheel operated by the flow from
artesian wells.
There are over 200 distinct muscles
in the human body, of which the best
of us keep about 100 in prime condi-
ton by proper use.
From microscopic observations it
has been computed that the skin is
perforated with 1000 holes in a square
inch. If the whole surface of the hui
man body be estimated at 16 square
feet, it must contain no fewer than
2,304,000 pores.
A celebrated veterinary surgeon
iHdb ulHe OuJ Ol zen Oh our
WORKOUT horses are only worn out in
feet Tor in legs, because of some foot
disease), and that all but a fraction
of that number owe their premature
age and incapacity to our system OF
shoeing-not merely bad shoeing, but
the iron or steel shoe.
During the volcanic eruption in the
Hawaiian islands, last summer, the
smoke rose to height of between
five and six miles and then drifted
away to the northeast. At a distance
of 600 miles from Hawaii it settled
upon the surface of the sea, and was
then carried back by the northeast
wind to its place of origin, where it
arrived fortnight after its original
departure and covered the entire
group of islands with it's heavy pail.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
EXPORTS OF LIQUOR.
Figures Which show the Quantities
Sent to Countries Where Mis-
siOnaries Labor.

An examination of the records of the
bureau of statistics, writes William Z.
Curtis in the Chicago Record, shows
that during the last fiscal year there
was exported from the United States
to all parts of the world 1862, 029 gall
Ions of distilled spirits, including
whisky, brandy, alcohol rum, wines
and everything else of that description,
of which 2,220,021 gallons were sent to
countries where American missionaries
were laboring. OF this quantity the
larger part was sent to Japan, and con-
sisted of pure alcohol, which is used
for manufacturing purposes. Out of
the total of 1865 gallons of dis
titled spirits sent to Japan only 662
gallons was brandy, 6,S17 gallons rum,
5,4O2 gallons whisky and 116 gallons
wine. Deducting the pure alcohol sent
to Japan, the total exports of distilled
spirits to missionary countries
amounted to S66,244 gallons. From
this also should be deducted 1882 gal
Ions of pure alcohol sent to Colombia,
log gallons to Venezuela and 800 gal
Ions to British Africa. The total bran
dy sent to missionary countries last
year was 20,944 gallons; the total whis-
ky, 244,91S gallons.
The total amount of malt liquor sent
to all parts of the world from the
United States was 1,433,799 dozen bot
ties, mostly lager beer. OF this 272, sol
dozen bottles went to missionary
countries. The following table in
cludes all of the foreign countries to
which missionaries are sent by the re-
ligious organizations of the United
States, and the exports of distilled and
malt liquors to each of them is given
for the fiscal year ended June 30, 1899:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
THE WATERS HAVE GONE OVER
ME-"

delicious as the opening scenes of life,
or the entering upon some newly dis
covered paradise, leok into my desola-
ton, and be made to understand what
dreary thing it is when he shall
feel himself going down precipice
with open eyes and passive will-to
see all godliness emptied out of him,
and yet not be able to forget the time
it was otherwise-t6 hear about the
pitiless spectacle of his own ruin;
could he see my feverish eye, feverish
with last nights drinking, and fever
ish looking for to-night's repetition
of the folly; could he but feel the
body of death out of which l cry
hourly with feebler cutlery to be de-
livered, it were enough to make him
dash the sparkling beverage to the
earth, in all the pride of it's mantling
temDt tiOn ~
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
County without Saloons.

The last saloon was voted out of
Isanti county, Mimi, in 1888. During
the last year of license the criminal
courts expenses of the county, all told,
amounted to $9j5.71; for the next year
the expenses dropped to $447.76, or less
than half; in 1891, to $347.99. In 1895
the liquor cases cost but S14.S2, and
in 1896, when many other counties
were indicting their officials for mall
feasance in Office. $40 represents the
entire criminal court expenses for the
year, and it was unnecessary to even
call the grand jury together.-Chris-
tian Work.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
in the making and putting down of ar
tifcial stone pavements.

in the making and putting down of ar
tificial stone pavements.
Maj. Gross was still engaged in this
business when the worlds fair began
to be talked of in the newspapers.
When he learned there was going to be
a Kentucky building he importuned
leading Kentucky politicians, with all
of whom he was on the best of terms, to
secure for him the privilege of estab-
fishing a restaurant and bar in the Ken
lucky building, where Kentucky dishes
and drinks could be secured. His en-
ergy and perseverance secured the con-
cession, and he was so successful in his
venture that he cleared above all ex-
penses something over $4,000.
The major proposes to make his
American restaurant at Paris as much
a feature of that show as was the Ken
lucky restaurant feature of the
worlds fair. At Chicago he was unable
to accommodate the vast crowds who
wanted to be fed on Kentucky fare, and
If he carries out his plans at the French
capital the major will make the Euro
peans open their eyes.
He proposes to have jet-black negro
walters, negro cooks and to set the IA
nous Blue Grass" dinner, making a
speciality of corn bread, which he will
serve in all styles. He will take along
one of the best corn bread cooks in
America, whose business it will be to
see that every piece of this kind of
bread goes on the table just right. He
will also have a noted negro chicken
cook. 1t is well known that nobody can
cook q chicken as well as a negro, and
he will make use of this fact to have the
most appetizing dishes prepared from
this luscious fowl. OF course he will
have all kinds of American dishes, but
he proposes to make specialties of corn
products and southern cooking.
Maj. Gross wants to make the restau-
rant american" in all that the name
implies, and he believes that when
Europeans eat his corn bread and see
how good and wholesome it is they will
want to know more about it and will
ultimately lay aside the hard, black
bread of the continent and substitute
the cheaper and healthier corn pone
and egg bread" of America.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
Educated in Print shops.

1t is interesting to note the num-
Der of eminent men of the present
day whose education began in a
printing Office. William Dean Howells
learned the trade in Hamilton, O.;
Amos j. Cummins has set type in
nearly every state of the union; Con-
gresham James NJ. Robinson worked
on the Fort Wayne (Ind.) Daily News;
Richard Watson Glider, the poet-ed-
itor of the Century Magazine, once
set type and did the press work on
the St. Thomas Register at Flushing,
L. l.. William p. Hepburn, Of Iowa,
used to be a compositor, and fast
and accurate one. So were Charles
b. lands, of Indiana; William IL.
Hinrichsen. of Illinois; George D.
Perkins, of Iowa, and a host of other
prominent men in the country.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
AMERICAN CORN BREAD.
Maj. Gross, of Kentucky, Proposes
to Feed Paris Exposition Vis-
itOrs on Southern "Pone."

Maj. Simon Peter Gross, the Licking
ton man who will have charge of the
American restaurant at the Paris ex-
position, is one of the most unique
characters in Kentucky. He is native
of Bavaria, where he was born about
30 years ago. He is said to have seen
service in the German army, hence his
title.
He came to Lexington about 25 years
ago and opened saloon. He was pros
porous until there was a shooting af-
ray in his place of business. At length
he sold out his business and engaged
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
when Kruger Was Young.

President Kruger was asked some
time back about the number of wild
beasts he Lad sain in his boyhood. and
said that he slew so many lions. ele-
plants, rhinoceroses and other animals
when guarding his fathers cattle and
sheep that he really could not remem-
Der the number. A story is told to the
effect that, when he was only eight
years old, he protected little girl
from the attack of beast of prey, his
only weapon being jackknife. His
father was famous among the Beers as
lion slayer.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
FACTS AND COMMENT.

Hazen, Ark, has gone dry" There
will be but four saloons in Prairie
county this year.
Of 100 men who entered one of the
state prisons in given time 5000 ad
mitted that they were drunkards.
Under the Indiana plan" 10 paid
~'evangelists" are devoting their entire
time to prohibition party work in the
Hoosier state.
Through the efforts of members OF
the Senior Loyal Temperance legion,
two saloon keepers of Ithaca, \. Y.
love been indicted and one of them
convicted for violation of the liquor
tax law. The other one is yet to be
tried.
The mayor of Philadelphia says that
hundreds if not thousands of women
in that good old Quaker city, women
of position and responsibility, are adj
dicted to the opium habit. ITO this
end" says Mayor Ashbridge, ''our
laws need to be radically amended"
DR.. John Madden, professor OF physi-
ology in the Wisconsin College of
Physicians and Surgeons, believes that
it is the province of physician, even
more than of the moralist or philan-
thropist, to do what he can toward
the suppression of alcohol.-North-
western Christian Advocate.
Out of 500 towns and plantations in
Maine, 437 effectually prohibit the sa-
loon. Out of population of G6l,0SG.
there are 406,s55 who never come in
largest cities, where the saloons are
outlawed, they are almost unobserved
by stranger not hunting for them.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
Henrtrending Cry of Charles Lamb,
One of the Brilliant Writers
of His Day.

The heartrending cry If Charles
Lamb, one of the mcs* brilliant
writer's of his day, should ring in
every young mans ears as a warning
against the first glass of any intoxi-
cant. He wrote:
THE waters have gone over me, but
out of the black depths, could I be
heard, 1 would cry out to all those
who have set foot in the perilous
flood. Could the youth to whom the
flavor of the first glass of wine is as
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
GREAT CLOUD TREE.
Striking Phenomenon of the Outbreak of
Mount Etna)

tive pine" or "cloud-tree~ directly
above the crater. A famous example
of these volcanic smolle-trees is that
which was seen standing over Vesu-
vius during the destruction of Pom
peii. But Etna is far mighticr and
loftier volcano than Vesuvius. The
verge of its great crater is nearly H.
o00 feet above sea level, and the "erup-
tive pine" last July rose more than
10000 feet above the crater. 1t was
finally blown off by the wind, hiding
the sun as it drifted away in an
elongated black cloud.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
Rnpid Time to the Orient.

From London to Bombay in II days
is the remarkable programme laid out
by the Peninsular & Oriental Steam
ship company. The journey will be
made by the British route. and in
wolves faster time than is usual on
Italian railways. The chief item is
the voyage from Suez to Bombay,
which is made at the rate of II knots
On hour.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19

Madison (Wis.) saloon keepers will
hereafter be compelled to close their
saloons promptly at midnight, draw
their curtains at the front and have
a light burning inside the saloon, so
that passers-by and the police can
see that no business is being done in
side, and keep the pla"e so closed and
subject to inspection until five o'clock
in the morning.-Union Signal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
GEM OF THE PACIFIC.
That Is What Our New Samoan Is
land Has Been Called.
Government Is Now Building a Wharf
ana Coal Sheds at PangO Pango
The Resources and Inhab-
itants of TutuiIa.

Pango Pango harbor on the island of
Tutuila, one of the Samoan group, is
a possession of great value to power
like the United States with worldwide
commerce and increasing interests and
responsibilities so diversified. Though
surpassed in extent by some of the har-
bors of Australia and China, there is
not one whose advantages are greater
and where the safety of fleet from
storms or attack is so assured or so
easily provided for. The island itself
is volcanic and the harbor originally a
crater. The dimensions of Tutuila is
about 10 miles in extreme length and
is one vast range of mountains, some
of them $500 feet high.
The harbor is an ideal one with O
narrow and deep entrance about one
third of mile in width. It's dimen-
sions are one by one-fourth miles, and
throughout its entire extent depth
of 40 fathoms is maintained. 1t is sur
rounded by high hills and the most
violent storms of that latitude do not
affect it.
The United States intrusted to San
Francisco firm the construction of
wharf 300 feet in length with face
of 400 feet, to be built of steel, which is
now under way and will be completed
In September. In addition coalsheds Of
corrugated steel capable Of storing
5000 tons are being erected and will be
II. L l.
Is making rapid progress.
The inhabitants of Samoa are said
to be delighted at the prospect of be-
coming attached to the United States.
The more intelligent among them re-
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-04-19
GREAT CLOUD TREE.
One OF the Most Striking Phenomena
of the Recent Outbreak of
Mount Etna.

Details of the sudden eruption from
the central crater of Mount Etna, last
July, are gradually coming to light
through scientific reports. One of the
most striking phenomena of the out
break was the formation of an "erup-