Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-04-17
SPINNING WHEEL.

Which the same it is Kalamazoo.
o, kalamaZoyZle-maziZ
Mazazzle-maZeeZle-
That liquid, harmonious, easy, eupnOnlous
Name known as Kalamazoo.
Where it got such a name | can't tell you
But I've heard, and l doubt not it's true
There's mixture of Greek and of Choctaw
and Greek
In the makeup of Kalamazoo.
Yet although the name is so soothing,
The winters don't take the same cue
They're rasping and rigid, they're frosty
and frigid.
Those winters in Kalamazoo.
1t stood twenty eight below zero,
And lasted whole month or tWo
Ny wniskers | froZe, and my nose and my
That winter in Kalamazoo.
In fact. twas so cold for a season
The very air seemed to turn blue:
Though people who knew said that this
fact was due
To the swearing round kalamazoo.
Those same people also informed me,
And swore that the statement true,
When it thawed out in spring that these
swear words, i jing,
Would explode over Kalamazoo.
There were days that 1 wished most de-
voutly,
when 'northers'' from Canada blew,
For a skin made of leather to stand the
cold weather
They had around Kalamazoo.
O. KaiamaZouzle-m
MaZa wZe-ma ZiZZle- mazoo.
With your name i smtten but | got
frost-bitten
When l tackled you, Kalamazoo.
Denver News.
It was plain that the man at the cor
ner table in a Congress street restau-
rant had INDUCED in several appetizers.
He handled his utensils unsteadlly anu
made a lavish use of the condiments,
tipped over the catsup and spattered
SOUP freely on his pie. Yet he bothered
no one so no audible objection was made.
Suddenly, after taking a couple of s pS
of his coffee he made a grotesquely WY
face that was in accord with his rye
breath. and blatted out:
"Phwat tn divvle is tn matther wild
this coffee?'
4 waitress quickly reached his elbow
and inquired solicitously as to the cause
Of his criticism of the coffee.
"Whoy," he said, that shtuff tastes
loike it wor mixed wild vinegar ur mebbe
sprayed wild paris green
did you sweeten it?' coyly asked the
waitress.
Did OF sweeten it? Whoy, put tree
phwat taste it how
Where did you get the sugar." in
quired the fair young waitress, trying
hard to repress smile, as her suspicious
began to take form.
'Phwere did Oh git it? Whoy. out iv
thot shugar bowl, iv course. Phwere
wud Oh take sLugar Turnout iv salt
cellar?"
She reiterated safe distance before
she explained matters.
THAT BOWL said she, contains horse
radish.''
the victim, as he meekly paid his bill and
went out for Il bracer.-Detroit Free
Press.
The tall, dark Kentuckian advances
and shoots the other Kentuckian twice
through the lung. At this the other Ken
tuckian regards the tall, dark kentuck-
ian perplexedly.
He seems to know me-, says the
ether Kentuckian to himself, 'but | de-
clare l can't place him. And his face
seems familiar, too.
However, he will not be outdone in the
observance of the conventional amenities,
and accordingly he draws and sends a
bullet or two into the tall, dark kentuck-
ian.-Detroit Journal
Foster St John had heard his coun-
try's call He had made all arrange
ments looking to springing to arms upon
the morrow.
Maude Smiths heart was heavy at
parting. Would Foster die upon the field
of battle, or would he be assigned to the
commissary department and come back
to her rich and respected?
These were the thoughts that tortured
her, yet wrung from her no sign Of pain
Foster St. John suffers also.
~ will soon forget me- he saws
sadly
Not on your tintype," replies the
brave girl. LAS if it were not enough
that | love YOU, [ am going to lend you
So to cinch this remembering business"
All, how practical she is. And yet
how beautiful tonight, in her gown of
soft, clinging-
But that will do for another story
Detroit Journal.
A wealthy man was once exhibiting
proudly to a younger acquaintance a ia
BILE which he had bought. He said it
was 800 years old. THAT is nothing
remarked his young visitor. Il have in
my possession table which is more than
5000 years old, Three thousand years
DID, said the host. THAT is impossi
BILE. Where was it made?' Probably
in India In India? What kind of a
table is it?'' 1.-The multiplication tablen'
-Tit-Bits.
1.-The worst mishap in my experience
said a lawyer of Norrstown, occurred
during my district attorneyship, says the
Philadelphia Record. Il had prosecuted
and convicted a cOunterfeiter of 5-cent
pieces, and ON the evening Of this triumph
[ took a pocketful of the bogus coins
home with me.
THE next morning, it being market
day, my wife got up early, and filled
her purse with the counJerfeiter's nick
els; which she distributed with a free
hand among the marketmen in return
for their wares
when | discovered what she had done
| nearly tainted. What dreadful thing
it would have been to say that ], a dis
trict attorney, after convicting a coun-
terfeiter, had then stolen his false coin
and passed it among my fellow citizens!
lon the other hand, what a shameful
thing to say that my wife had the habit
OF rii1ing my pockets while | slept
IF the thing should have leaked out
I'd never have heard the last of it,
-:O:-