The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-09-25
in HOTEL CORRIDORS.

that was the real thing" said gem
tleman who had just returned from that
city One frequently reads witticisms
in the papers credited to the Irish, but
10 De nearer of a witty reply and
know that 1t is not a studied effort, as
SO many bright remarks which are
palmed on as spontaneous are, is quite
different thing. and is naturally ap-
preciated more. I was riding in a. street
car, one OF the kind with an aisle in
the center. The car was crowded and
several passengers were standing in the
aisle hanging to the straps At one
stop an Irish woman got on Her ma
tionality was plainly visible in her face.
she looked at the passengers who We're
way through the car and took up her
stand directly in front of a big man
who was evidently Of the same nation
atty. After standing holding to one
of the straps for while. she turned her
head towards the Irishman and said in
Snapplsh tone: sYe're no gintleman.
The big man paid no attention and when
she saw that her remark did not have
the desired effect, she broke out again
with: Ie,re no gintleman to sit there
an let a lady shtand before We. This
remark brought no response from the
man, who did not d6ign to notice her,
but devoted his attention to the signs.
The other passengers Uttered, for she
had attracted the attention of every one
excepting the one she wanted. She
could not stand to be ignored, and al
" -
pizen I'd give We The big Irishman
turned his eyes upon her and gave her
a searching look from top to toe. Well
he said, and there was q seriousness in
his tones; well, if wur ye're husband
I'd take it gladly You can imagine
the effect on the passengers who were
interested listeners. She didn't get the
seat.
Ed Johnson. a travelling man who
lives in Topeka, is responsible for this
story. He said: Not long ago / was
out in the western part of the state
stopping at small hotel in one of the
ShOrt-graSS towns. The hotel was filled
and when new guest who was a trav
cling man arrived, the landlord had no
place TO put him, so he went out and
made arrangements at a private resi-
dence for a room for the night. He
came back to the hotel and carrying the
young mans grips escorted him to the
house. The young man came back to
the hotel and got his supper and then
staid down town until quite late. When
he got ready to retire he went to what
he thought was the house, but, as has
frequently been done before, he got the
wrong place. The door was unlocked,
and he went in unconscious of his error.
He began to undresS and had Off all
his clothing except his shirt when
woman in the next room who had been
awakened by the noise he made in
tramping around. screamed and then
shrieked .Burglarsi' He heard some
oaths in a mans voice. and as the door
to the adjoining room opened he d1Sap-
peared through the door leading to the
street. A few rose bushes and the fence
offered no obstruction. He dashed
through the bushes, took the fence as
easily as the champion hurdle racer
could have done it and sped through the
night like q meteor. When he reached
the hotel he burst in on the sleepy land
lord, who thought the man was drunk,
and was trying to give an initiation of a
Greek statue in search of a clothing
store When the young man got back
some of the breath he had lost in his
wild flight for safety he told the land
lord that the man at the house where
he had gone to sleep had tried to assas-
sinate him. A little questioning re-
vealed the fact that he had gone to
go to the house. explain the matter. and
get the young mans clothing and grips.
He got some vaseline to rub on the
scratches caused by contact with the
rose bush and escorted his guest to the
right house. where the young man re-
tired to dream of his wild dash in the
interest of punctureiess hide"
IT see the story is going the rounds
of the papers that John D. Rockefeller
is afflicted with a stomach that refuses
to digest what he eats" said a gentle
man at the Copeland. 1.-The statement
is made that he can eat nothing but
crackers and fresh milk or a bit of por-
ridge. and that he can drink nothing but
milk and lukewarm water. He is also
compelled to work with a hoe in the
fields and take other exercise such as
walking. The editors are using this as g.
subject on which to write editorials in
which they ask, What profiteth a man
to have millions if he be cursed with a
refractory stomach?' They also tell
how much happier is the man who earns
SO per week and has a stomach that
can digest anything. They add that Mr..
Rockefeller would give half his immense
% IN he nh IN q haQ ~
hard working, well regulated stomach.
This may be all right. but there are
lots Of people who would like to be
slaves of indigestion and boss of the
Standard Oil at one and the same time.
The average man has got to do so much
work in this world to keep the wolf from
the door, and IL is a question with
them where to get the work to do. I
who have families to support would
rather be followed about by a doctor
than by the wolf Of famine. / don't be-
lieve the Rockefeller story. If he was
why don't he let the doctors fix his
stomach2 1t has been only short time
since these same papers Were telling how
the expert surgeons in Europe and
America had removed stomachs from
people who continued to live and be
happy. 1 should think Rockefeller would
take chances on that or at least en-
courage the surgeons to continue their
experiments on other people until they
had got it down to safe operation He
has money enough to establish a hos
pital where diseases of the stomach only
could be treated and picked surgeons to
carve and investigate in his interest. In
time they might be able to cure him or
learn how to remove the Wornout stom-
ach and replace it with a good able
stomach without inconvenience Rock
efeller should jump right in and in the
interest of the rest of humanity who
have bad stomachs do all he can to get
well. He has both the bad stomach and