The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-05-27
Mems Ways
Ella Wheeler Wilcox on
Their Goodness and Badness.

On the Goodness and Badness %:
Man." Ella Wheeler Wilcox writes in
| the New York Journal.
| Some time ago IN the columns OF the
| New York Journal I uttered the asser-
ton that Every man Is safe or unsafe
as a woman chooses 10 make him.
The statement has brought me an ava
| lanche OF letters. reproving and disap-
/ proving, criucising and commencing. The
majority are written by women, who take
| exceptions 10 my assertion One writer
says:
would you mind being more explicit
| in your next article? You must be aware
| that constantly sweet, high minded young
girls and women are insulted by the men
whom they unsuspectingly trust them
| sleeves with. 1 know many women not
yet q years of age who are completely
disillusioned in regard 10 men being gen.
| tlemen. 1t is unjust to your sex 10 say
We are to blame.
Il do wish. Mrs. wilcox. that you would
| refute the stereotyped old expression and
| the old belief on the part of men and
some women that a mans conduct is
what a woman makes it when in her
company. II is a fallacy."
Another woman writes me that would
change my ideas were TO be a 'pretty
widow for few years.
This reminds me of Oliver Herford's
bright epigram--"A little widow is dan
gerous thing
Men love danger.
Meanwhile I must adhere TO my state
ment. But 1 must partcularize-
The ignorant young girl. reared with
the idea that men are spiritual beings by
nature and education, IS liable to be
shocked into worldly wisdom If she asso-
ciates freely with the opposite sex.
II she is properly instructed by her
parents she can avoid many of these dis
illusioning experiences.
knowledge is power and protection, and
it is in no sense incompatible with limo
cence.
Man is q strange being. He is in some
things more complex than woman.
He is aggressive, he is immoral in ac-
ton, he is often selfish, and withal he has
paradoxical love Of the goodness he
seeks to modest.
In his secret heart-so secret he does
not always know it Is there-every man
hides hope that the woman he unlaw-
fully pursues will be strong enough TO re-
sist him. While he is using his most
persuasive arguments to overthrow her
scruples he is wishing she might prove
to him that she is invulnerable.
When she does prove so-like the
strange incongruous being he is-he goes
away and leaves virtue to be its own
reward"
But always the fact remains that he is
looking for the ideal who can resist him,
and that he always respects her (and US
ually leaves herr after he finds her
But there is one satisfaction in the ex-
perience to the woman who has been left
to wisdom and solitude-and that is the
knowledge that the one kiss a. man re-
members all his life is the kiss he did no,
get!
Woman is not as angelic always as she
thinks herself 1t would be better for
her and for the world if she were taught
from the beginning that she is half hui
man Let her believe that the divine
rules. but let her know that she, as well
as man, has the human side. too, which
needs TO be guided and guarded
Man knows she has, and he knows that
her education in these matters is a sham
and a deceit. He likes to introduce a
woman to her earthly self. and he Is Of
ten brutal inshis methods.
1t is then ne offends and fails.
Once let a man understand that a wo-
man understands all about herself, and
that she is discreet and prudent because
she wants to be so. not because she
lpnu-- No nd h. mill
situation with grace.
A man possesses an overwhelming de-
sire to impart instruction to the ignor-
ant
Woman IS taught TO hide, conceal and
lie about her natural and God-given i'm
pulses and emotions. and man knows
it, He knows. too, that curiosity is the
vulnerable point in her armor
Woman so often wonders what a man
will do next that she frequently finds
out to her sorrow.
II she had not wondered she need not
have sorrowed.
Woman is not responsible for mans
feelings or words. But she can control
his conduct when he is sober, not his
attempt at conduct, but his behavior.
A man may kiss a woman's hand or
even her cheek once against her will.
but he does not continue his trespasses
without cooperation.
This statement refers to civilized men
not to the savage brute
The school girl told teasy Tommy loud
" 10 '1et her alone"
After Tommy desisted from his teasing
she cried, stop letting me alone"
There are a great number OF these
grown Up school girls in society today
married and single
Woman sets the pace FOR man in
morals
ELLA WHEELER WILCOX.