Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-04-08

uASueo do MI. DOWScA lufouCu Aof wv
mains.
HAS the mistress any complaint to
make OF the cooking?' she asked in
reply.
mot that / know Of. / was asking
you if you knew about phrenology. It
relates to the bumps on your head, you
know"
"And what of the bumps on me
head? Did the mistress ask about me
bumps when she hired me? II she OBJ
jects to them, let her give me notice."
my good girl, you don't understand
All of us have bumps on our heads.
BY feeling Of the bumps one can tell
a persons disposition. For instance,
one bump shows sweet temper; an
other shows self conceit, another shows
obstinancy an so on"
"But isn't me cookin all right?" de-
manded the woman.
Il said it was"
'%Then who's to care about the bumps
on me head, or me dispositions"
'sYou don't understand yet" contin-
ued Mr.~Bowser. by feeling Of the
bumps on your head l can tell you
you'll never feel of me bumps while
I'm alive!" interrupted the cook. "and
if you amt out of this kitchen in two
jiffs I'll walk off and leave you with
out a cook"
Mr.. Bowser retired. It was a ques-
ton whether he retired in good order
or not. He realized that Mrs. Bowser
had stood at the head of the stairs and
overheard all, and that he had made a
muss of it. She had smile on her
face as she entered the sitting room,
and that smile brought determine
ton to his heart to conquer or die.
"You-you probably advise me to
give it up, don't your" he asked.
"You might practice outside" she
suggested.
s"And so q Wilt" he retorted as the
red came to his face. II have set out
to post myself on phrenology, and by
the beard of my grandfather, I'll do it
or die!"
He walked out into the hall, clapped
on his hat and opened the door and
stepped out. There was a man hang
ing over a nearby gate. He wasn't a
tramp, but a workingman who was
sweet on girl working next door, and
was awaiting for her to appear. Mr..
Bowser called to him, and he came in
eff the street and asked what was
wanted.
would you like to earn couple of
dollars in about Is minutes?" was
asked
"You bet!"
Have you ever heard of phrenolo-
gy?"
eff I have, I've forgotten. Is the
gas leaking or waterpipe busted2"
"Phrenology has to do with the
bumps on your head / feel of your
bumps and read your character by
them. believe in it, but my wife
don't. / want you to come and sit
down for a few minutes while / show
her that l am right"
The man was willing. He followed
Mr. Powser in and was referred to as
a subject" Mrs. Bowser kept her
chair and became interested.
Now, then" began Mr. Bowser after
t7vc minutes spent in locating various
bumps, Il find your bump of musical
talent above the average. should say
that you can play On several different
instruments and have fairly good
voice"
Lord save you, SIR gasDed the
man, but / never could even raise a
tune on mouth organ, and as fo- sing
ing. everybody runs away when Try
it,"
Dir. Bowser flushed up and swallow
ed at the lump in his throat and dared
net look at Mrs. Bowser. After min
ute he continued:
= think you are inclined to be very
religious. Are you a Sunday School
teafher?"
Great Scots, No. Religious: Why.
L don't even believe in a hereafter,
I'm the man who ate up chapter of
the bible on bet"
but you reverence truth" persisted
,ir. Bowser, as his face began to pale.
"Mebbe do, sir, but they calls NE
The Red Hook Liar all the same"
And you are not tender hearted
that is, don't you love children"
We'll, I'm expecting to be arrested
to morrow for lambasting kid this
afternoon. Your henology. or what
ever you call it, don't seem to work.
gness your wife is right
1T never works unless there ara
brains under the bumps. fstify replied
Mr. Bowser. as he handed the man bis
81 and accompanied him 70 the dor.
When he returned. he stood before
LIS. Bowser and giared at her for A.