The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1900-02-28
COULDN'T HELP 1T.
An Old Yankees Yarn of Better Days
Was Pure Fiction.


An Old Yankees yarn of Better Days
Was Pure Fiction.
An old man was saving wood In Il
Maine village the other day. lie had
taken 4 job and was putting in his best
licks.
A man who was going past stopped
and looked over the palings Of the
fence.
Kind Of tough work. isn't it. uncle?"
asked the passer.
The old man Strengthened up and
strolied the sweat Off his forehead
"Waal, middlin tart" said he Sort
OF takes holt of my lumbago once in
awhile. | don't suppose l should mind
1t SO much il it hadn't been for The
TACT that | had money once and didn't
Lave TO do such things rs this"
us that so? Had money!"
"las, that's right. You remember
the time they built the branch railroad
through hcre?"
''Surcw
"Wanl, was doin pretty we'll that
time. and subscribed TO the stoc,;
Kinder thought there might be a
chance to make Il little something ont
of the deal. But the first thing
knowed they called for an assessment
of the stock. They come round to rc
and wanted my assessment.
How much be it, says L.
'SiXtyfour thousand five hundred
dollH rs says they.
"NVnal.' says 7. that's rather Il stiff
haul on man. but I'll pay it. But |
give We notice now that ye better not
call on me again. for that will just
about take the last cent 1 got And
for fact when went homo and went
into the old chist and counted out my
money that was Jest what 1 had to a
cent. But the road never amounted to
anything. Never got q cent back FOR
all that money I put in. And here |
am sawin wood for Il livin."
When the stranger got down to the
store and stood warming his hands at
the barrel stove, he remarked upon the
sad case OF the old man saving wood
up the road.
"That man never had Il cent ahead IN
all his life" remarked the storcl. .cepcr
"IIc's allus sawed wood for n livin'
well. what did he want to tell suc
Il thundcrin story rs that for:" asked
the stranger.
"Wa-a-al," replied the storcl,ccpcr
yankees have to sorter keep in prac
ticc for what may come up. Jest hav
to do 1t.
"Whcn you drive along. you'll proba
bly, SEQ an old fellow up here workin
round in the barnyard. He wears Hor
ace Grceleys for whislers and q straw
hat winter or summer. You'll know
with him n little while. He's keepin
in practice too"
The stranger did SO.
They fell into talk Of the corruption
Of modern institutions and of the diff
Guilty Of believing those who are en-
gagged in business operations.
'"Two weeks ago." said the old man,
II was shinglin the Methodist par
sonage down the road here n ways, and
the elder come out and says he, "Thes
big bank in Boston failed
"'National bank?' says I.
National bank says he, and he
gave me the name.
"Waal, sir, for awhile never was SO
scared in my life. jest jumped right
down Off the roof Of that parsonage
bout so feet. Was 30 excited I never
felt 1t.
81 run all the way home. I rushed
into the bedroom. Wife come a-runniL
after me.
'Tor the land sakes.' says she, 'be
yoG crazyf
Equity near it, says 1. The So
and-so national bank Of Boston has
failed up, and it's jest like. my luck to
have lot Of bills Of that bank in tho
chist here And threw the chist
open and reached down for our box. !
opened it. Waal, 1t didn't have a sin
gle bill on that bank-nor any other
kind of bill either. Never felt so re