The daily sentinel., 1900-08-01
Seqtiqel S1orteakes.


NOT ooLulBINH.
There's young lady in Fruita
Who tried hard to learn to toOta
Horn. So hard did abe blow,
That the people, you know,
Heard it clear over in Utah.
In the coming political campaign it
has not yet boon discovered who is to
furnish the rocks for the middle-of- the
road.
Notwithstanding the fact Mckinley
and Ii Hung Chang wore both in Can
ton on the same day they never spoke to
each other.
The report of a LaPlata county hun
tor catching COW in bear trap 10 no
more wonderful than tho Bosr trap
catching q John Bull.
It was probably not 20 mseh the sd-
mission fee a. it was the frille that
caused certain citizen to eabls home
from Paris for more funds.
That local professional man who does
not know enough to 20 in when It rains
has no use for an abno, NAL quantity OF
brains in this arid climate.
The fact that more coffee 10 used in
the United States than in any other
country may be abundant grounds for
the assertion that We are the mcst nsrv-
Gus people on earth.
At tho rate entries for the Pie Eating
contest arc being received by the Peach
Day Contest Committes it will b only
matter Of short time before the list
will be full and entries closed.
No doubt the rsrort that Dom Paul
has shaved his whiskers OF will cause
the boastlul war prophet to accuse him
of tacking them on behind preparatory
to forming an alliance with ths heathen
devils
A recent dispatch states that dog
meat 10 not sold In Germany and .
poor down trodden sausags loving public
will look forward iu eager sxpsetaney to
that day whom it shall b tree In this
county. too.
A Boston boy had . small wire nail
removed from his vsrmiform appendix
the other day. He must hav4 bssn eat
ing plsnksd sAad .-tpatss1. Aoes
likely 1t was . miniature Asssichusstt
| 10y pike that caused the trouble.
With the present prospects it 10 NOT
likely that Grand junction will care T.
bid on tho remains of that ons-horss an
l tod ~ H.
cd amongst the Mexican Aztec ruins BY
an inquisitive New York scientist.
II all the ice-cream- soda necks in
town should turn into rubber and the
rubber should turn into golf balls new
and thriving industry might be estab-
lished such 20 will pale into insisnia-
cameo the ambitious desirous OF enthus-
iastic smelter advocates.
In view Of the fact that Hon. Bsnja-
min Harrison asserts that he will under
no circumstances express his political
opinions An expectant public will eager
ly await the decision of the postal auth
critics a. to whether they shall be allow
cd Transmission through the mails.
According to . recent dispatch .
brand new form Of itch has made its sp-
pearance in the east and physicians are
at loss to account for its origin. Prob.
ably if the real truth were known it ID
only Al inkling of what wouldbe ONCE
seekers will DO compelled t. scratch.
after the coming fall campaign 10 over.
An inquisitive public was enlightened
as regards the suspicious circumstances
surrounding events at the Gazoot edi-
tors house the other night whom they
read the following in his paper the next
morning:
There's nothing half 30 sweet in life
As loves young dream.
But man awakens from it with
The kids first scream.
The following blind poem was picked
up in front Of Thompson's jewslry store
yesterday: There was . young woman
named Mae. hcpped up and got married
one dae; but she couldn't nsks bread
that was lighter than lead. and nov
there's the dickens to pae. Tho fellow
she married was Pete. . terrible fellow
IL - h>A