Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-08-06

ncation and bulwarks of liberty seem
to come in jest right and hit the school
house ON all sides at once. | fur one
am standin neutral in this bizness, and
I'd like to hear both sides of the ques-
ton. Mebbe Silas Lapham, who lives
next door to the schoolhouse, would
like to make few remarks"
"As fur me-" says Silas as he rises
up, "Tm ag'in the idea of lightnin
rod. That there schoolhouse was built
ID years ago, and durin them Is years
we've had 70 thunderstorms. If she's
lodged 72, why can't she dodge 200?
Why can't she keep right on dodgn till
she tumbles down of old age? Forty
dollars fur lightnin rod means more
taxation. Thar's sich thing as an
emporium of education, but thar's also
sich thing as an emporium of taxa
ton. Jericho is out of debt and no
one kickin, but let the hand of eX-
cessive taxation clutch her throat, and
life out of her? I'm askin you to
pause and ponder afore it is too late"
"Slas, you've made pint and a
strong one" says the deacon when the
applause has subsded. "If the school
house has lodged - thunderstorms,
thar's no reason to think she won't
keep up the record. Yes, it's a pint,
and mebbe the lightnin rod man would
like to answer it."
81 don't think much of the pint"
says the man as he gifts up ag'in.
'Thars S0,000,000 people in these Unit
ed States, and because none of 'em fell
down stairs last year it don't foller
that n heap of 'em won't tumble down
this year. I've known man to go on
dodgin mules heels fur 16 years and
then git 'em both in the stomach at
once. Mebbe your schoolhouse will
dodge n hundred more thunderstorms,
and mebbe we will skassly hev sought
our virtuous couches this night before
a thunderbolt as big as bar'l will go
drivin through her and leave nuthin
but n heap of splinters to mark the
spot where your emporium of educa-
tion once reared its proud roof to the
blue vaults of heaven. l said $40 to
the town board today, but in order to
show my interest in the cause of edu-
cation and to prove to you that my
hand is ever stretched forth to uphold
the prestige of a nation of freemen
I'll make the price $3S."
Hes made pint, gentlemen-he's
made a pint" says the deacon as he
whacks on the stove and looks around.
''Yes, sir, when he talks about our
schoolhouse rearin it's proud roof to
the blue vaults of heaven he's made
pint, and I'm more favorable to the
lightnin rod than 1 was. l think this
crowd would like to hear from Enos
Williams"
"Im with Silas Lapham," says Enos
as he shets up his jackknife and gifts
his feet under him. I'm fur lettin
sartin things dodge or bust. They
wanted to insure the meetin house "a
years ago, but my advice was to let
her dodge. She's thar yit. I've got a
barn so years old, and she's never had
n lightnin rod or been insured-jest
had to dodge or bust all these years
and she's thar ylt. Seventeen years
ago, when l built my house, put a
bell on the front door. Nobody has
rung that bell to this day. 1t would
be the same If we put a lightnin rod
on the schoolhouse-you wouldn't see a
thunderstorm around here fur the next
10 years. I'm all right on the empo-
rum of education bizness, and can
see that thar schoolhouse rearin it's
proud roof to the blue vaults of heaven
as plain as If 1t wasn't 8 o'clock at
night, but l don't see no call to pay
out $3S. Let her dodge or bust"
''rhar's pint thar, Enos-thar's