Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-08-12
as he got the chance he whispered to

as he got the chance he whispered to
me:
Don't say nuthin to Twin soul,
pap. but I'm comm around here to-
night and shake the town of Jericho
from center to circumference"
In what way" said /
Never you mind, pap. You jest sit
ready to feel the alrth tremble. aud
tomorrow mornin' you kin put 5000
more value on your house and lot"
Horatio is man who never gifts ex-
cited when he wakes up and finds a
COW in his garden. and FELT quite sure
he had sunthin big on hand He must
hev told about 50 other people what
he did me. as there was a big crowd
at the postoffiee at o'clock in the
eyenin, and all expected to hear Big
news. Deacon Spooner took charge OF
things, as usual, and as the crowd got
impatient he said:
1T is understood, teller citizens, that
Horatio Sparrow is goin' to launch q
thunderbolt here tonight, and it i1
with more than ordinary interest that
1 call the meetin to order. Stand out,
Horatio, and let's hear ell about it."
Horatio stood out. He looked pale.
but determined. He'd bin thinkin fur
week of what he was goin' TO say,
and he started off as smooth as grease.
"The drums are beatin' a wild alarm.
There is wavin' of flags, a marchin'
of men and wailin' Of women and
children. War is upon the land. The
life of nation is at stake 1t is an
hour when men are called upon to give
up their lives fur the sake OF prin-
ciple'
by John but that's flowery Ian
guage!" exclaimed the deacon as Ho-
ratio paused. IF Horatlo kin keep it
up fur an hour; I'm fur 'lectin him to
the next legislature.
"The farmer leaves his plow," con-
tinued Horatio, 'the merchant his
store and the mechanic his bench. They
march away to find the enemy and
fight him and die. Yes; they yield up
their lives that we may live on in
peace, and if we forget the sacrifice
we ought to wither away like bur-
dock in November"
Gentlemen" said the deacon as the
applause had subsidized, "up to the
present mint Horatio Sparrow has
knocked the socks off'n Henry Clay as
an orator, and am proud to know
that he is citizen of Jericho. Any
thing more, Horatio?"
Il jest want to call your attention to
the fact that Jericho has never had a
Decoration day parade" replied the or
ator. We hev never paraded and never
decorated, and / say it's a burnin
shame and ought to be remedied al
once"
BY John, but that's strong pnt!
shouted the deacon. Hang me if Ho.
ratio amt knockin things endways.
! No, sir; we've never had a parade MOI
decorated any graves, and we ouga
to be ashamed Of ourselves. Is it your
suggestion that we celebrate the day
this year, Horatio?"
That's my PINT, deacon"
And it's as strong as a log chain
! Yes, sir; we'll celebrate the day, and
| in order to make it a howlin success:
I'll agree to take charge of the parade. 2
But object to that" said Horatio
"Heyin originated this idea, | think its
fur me to ride on horseback at the
head of the purcession'
There was a painful pause, and then
Abner Jones, who was in fireman's uni
form, jumped Off the counter and said:
There shouldn't be no Jealousy
about this thing. Horatio would look
purity fine on his spotted horse, and
the deacon would be no SLOUGH in hi.
! cooked hat, but if there's to be any
feelin over it III take the job off their
| hands AS I'm foreman OF the fire