The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-12-02
PRESS AGENTS ROUND TABLE.

Harry Elmer, manager OF the Hanlon S
''Le Voyage en- Suisse" which will be this
weeks attraction at the Columbia has been
engaged in the theatrical business long
enough to become very well acquainted
with the divers devices resorted to by the
fierds who are always on the lookout for
passes to the show In an odd moment
he has put his experience in this line into
verse, which. if not good enough to entitle
him to the title of poet laureate of the the
atricaI profession, will serve to illustrate
the troubles of an advance agent. Listen
10 Mr.. Elmer's jeremiad:
Wherever look and wherever / turn;
In whatever direction ] go.
Che question and only confronts me:
Can't you III me all right ior The shoy!"
Tnr transfer man pockets his contract,
And AYERS ''tIa; you won't find this FIRM slow;
We've got n good truck N trailer.
Can't you tx me all RICH; for the ssiow!''
The baggage man weighing my trunks says:
"A hundred 81 eNcoss or 80;
What's The name of the troupe you re ahead Of?
Can't YOU fix all right Tor the show.''
The genial, ohliSiu= hotel clerk
liurmDrs he >aars 10 YOU low.
III yoT room doesn't suit you III change X;
vi course, you'ii t. me ali RICH, for the
show
The porter who brings in my trunks sars:
.-fo' de lawd, yousc trouper, knox,
I kin tell 'ens a n1e oil. by gollr;
KANT yo' Tax ii.e az, boss, 10 de sliow:"
The waitress xho calls Of the menu.
In tones coahdentially low,
''Roaa veal, lamb. and all kinds Ct pic.
And say. mister, can't yoa liz ne up for
.cur show
And nights in folr-i,li sluinler
greichedly toss 10 and fro,
While lesions OF spectes all chorus.
CAN'T you fix all right lor The sii9w?''
Kind heaven VIII even st. Peter
Shout. wbel ] pass up nom below,
Say. wh:n is the company coming,
Can't you fix is all right ioT the skowg'
Joseph Burns. the promoter of publicity
for Way Down East this weeks attrac-
tion at the National Theatre. AYERS that
Odell Williams, the Squire Bartlett OF the
Lottie Blair Parker piece, has discovered
that good Intentions dc other things be-
xides gave a place not often mentioned in
polite society. Mr.. Williams, as is quite
well known, Is troubled with considerable
extra ayoirdupols, and il was with a view
10 decreasing his weight that he sought
oIe Of the more famous Of the German
SPAS last summer. According TO Mr.. Bcrns,
IL was just before Mr. Williams was ready
10 return TO this country 10 resume his
work with the Way Down East organi-
cation that he met two American friends,
Mr.. and Mrs. A. II. Bronson, Of New Or
leans. Mr.. Bronson is as diminutiye as
Actor Williams is ponderous.
The newly-found friend OF the player
did not need the waters OF the spa, but
his wife did, or thought she did. which is
The same thing, so he confided her 10 the
care OF the Squire Bartlett Of the stage.
When the two got 10 the spring house
the lady concluded she did not want any
OF the water, and cat down or bench
and waited until Mr.. Williams had taken
his usual two gallons. On his coming out
he saw the lady was almost in tears and
German officer was strutting up and down.
Sinking ut her. Mrs. Bronson at once
grasped the arm Of the big actor AMI de-
manded protection
1t was then Mr.. Williams displayed at
once his chivairy and indiscreticn. He