The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1900-10-04
sToRYErTEs.

sTORYErTEs.
IS a school boy at prize exami1ia-
ton furnished the following biogra-
ply Of the patriarch Abraham: SHe
was the father of Lot, and had two
wives. One was called Ishmale and
the other Hagar. He kept one at
nome and he turned the sother into
the desert, where she became a pill
lar OF salt in the daytime and pill
lar Of fire by night"
Cyrus Townsend Brady tells an
amusing story in his .Recollections
OF, a Missionary in the Great West"
of a little boy he knew on the from
tier, who belonged to family who
had trained him to believe in the
deep-water form of baptism and was
experimenting with the household cat
and bucket of water. The animal
evidently did not believe in immer-
sion, for she resisted, bit and scratch
ed until finally the little boy, with
his hands covered with scratches and
with tears in his eyes, gave up the
effort to effect the regeneration of
the cat. "Dog-gone you'll" he cried,
go and be an Episcopal cat if you
want tot"
When Bob" Taylor was governor
of Tennessee he was noted for being
as tender-hearted as a woman, and
the way The pardoned out convicts
was something awful. He was watt
ed upon by a committee of the legis-
lature, who very fatty and in no un-
certain way told him that this whole
sale pardonlng must STOP" Gov
nor Bob looked at the committee,
tapped bell, asked for his pardon
clerk, and when he came said: make
out pardons for every man in the
penitentiary." The clerk bowed and
withdrew. Then the governor looked
at the committee, who were staring
as if they thought he was going mad.
Gentlemen" he said, finally, 81 am
governor of Tennessee, and if this
committee or any other ever again
seeks to interfere with my consti-
tutional right to pardon, I'll sign
every one of these pardons which the
clerk is making out. Good morn.
ing"
During a recent heated spell, Car
dinal Gibbons of Baltimore and Arch
bishop Ryan of Philadelphia took q
run down to Atlantic City, and on
arriving made themselves known to
none. but went to a bathing house
incog. Clad in the shapeless bathing
suits that are furnished hapless
strangers, they soon issued forth,
with broad trimmed straw hat tied
dignity down upon the head of each.
In spite of their shapeless costumes.
however, there was something dis
tingue in the appearance of the two
men. and so it happened that some
of those in the throng that huddled
along the beach gazed at them with
mild curiosity. One home-like coun-
try woman, evidently on her first
sea shore visit. was especially inter-
ested in watching the two men, who
were enjoying themselves with con-
stantly increasing gayety. At length
the dignitaries heard her say criti-
cally to her husband, in what she
thought safe aside: "Well. the old
man, he looks kinder thin and peaked,
but the old woman-seems to me she's
quite hearty and strong!'
1t once fell to the lot of Lord
Norris, always wit and now a dis
tlnguished judge, who had never lost
the 1nellif1uous brogue of the west of
Ireland. to hear case at Coleraine,
in which damages were claimed from
veterinary surgeon for having pois.
oned a valuable horse. The issue
depended upon whether a certain
number Of grains of a particular
drug could be safely administered to
the animal. The dispensary doctor
proved that. he had often given eight
grains to a man, from which it was
to be inferred that twelve for horse
was not excessive. Never mind yer
eight grains. docther," said the Judge;
eve all know that some poisons are
cumulative in effect. and We may go
to the edge of ruin with impunity.
But tell me this: The twelve grains
wouldn't they kill the devil himself
if he swallowed them?" The doctor
was annoyed, and pompously r4
piled, II don't know, my lord; never
had him for patient" From the
bench came the answer: "Ah, no, doc
Their, we niver had, more's the pity!
The old bhoy's still aloive."