Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1900-07-23
lTzIsIlIEIEITl5I5IETElE ElEIEElT1Ill1@2lEll2GE
A Golden Heart.
i BERTHA NJ. CLAY.
z.-zz-z-z,=z=,zz=,z=z
BERTHA NJ. CLAY.
7=E7zJ JIfzIIzTTzTaTlIlEl NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.


wife were-that little daughter had
been born to them that they were a
model couple-she so tender, he Sc
proud In those days I had many cor
respondents in this neighborhood, and
my brain was fired by these home
pictures. I felt that I must see him or
die. [ wanted to heap burning re-
proaches on him, to make him wretch
ed by seeing my Indebtedness, to
show him my great misery, that the
sight of it might chill his happiness.
Let me be truthful. l hungered to look
on his face, to hear his voice, to touch
5as hand! Never did thirsty mart
pant for living streams as I for one
look at the man I loved!
"Oh, blind, mad folly! AS well
might hungry man try to eat stone!
| thought that looking at him would
Stake the thirst of my fever, would
cool the fire that burned my brain. I
wrote to him, telling him that l had a
| favor to ask him. l begged that l
might see him, prayed and implored
him to meet me. l told him that l
would wait at the white gait near the
| coppice. I went to Deeping by train;
no one recognized me. At eight o'clock
| was standing at the coppice gate,
wondering with doubling heart if he
would come.
"The night was fair and brilliant. I
remember the odors from the trees,
oe 1, ~ II
murmur of the brook. I remember
Oh, heaven, would that l had died then
and there! Look at me, child, with
your fathers eyes. With a kindly
light those same eyes rested on me
that night so long ago-there was no
reproach in them, no anger, no con-
tempt
ST trembled when I saw his shadow
on the grass, trembled when he spoke
to me. He held out his hand in all
kindness to me-"
my dear Lola he said, you should
not have done this I wanted to see
you.' l cried to him. How can you be
SO hard and cruel to me? I have been
longing for a glimpse of you. How can
you scold me? My very life was fad
ing because I could not see you My
dear Lola you must not speak to me
in that fashion, he said. You must
remember your own self-respect, also
that I am married to the woman I
love- The poor man who begged the
crumbs from the rich mans table
asked only for the crumbs, not for the
luxuries. l am the same. I ask only
for what you have to give-your
friendship and kindness; I cannot live
without Them 1 replied.
"'You are cruel-cruel!' I cried at
last I came to you in deep distress,
and you tell me only of your own
happiness!' He stopped abruptly. You
are right, Lola he said, I am selfish
horribly selfish Then he tried to con-
sole me. All I next remember is
that we walked away from the light
of day, and that my heart was full of
burning hate toward Dolores.
1--WE walked where great boughs
shaded us; but did not notice the
place. l told him that the one de-
sire OF my heart was to come back here
and live near him where l could some
times see him, talk to him, make him
what he was once, my best friend and
adviser. All, me! He was not willing;
he who was all the world to nae re-
fused me this small crumb Of comfort.
Where we were walking the grass was
thick and long and the branches of the
trees dropped low; he pushed them
aside with careless hands. 1T would
not do, Lola he said. L would do
anything to please you or help you;
but the step proposed would not be
prudent. Your best plan would be to
go far away, my dear child. I have
done you evil enough; Heaven forbid
that I should do any more! Try and
forget me, and fill your life with new
interests. l am grateful for your
love-I could not be otherwise; but
you must, if you wish to be happy,
overcome it. Even were what you con-
template acceptable so far as you and
are concerned, it would not please
Dolores. Dolores would not like 1t;
| Dolores would not I interrupted
him with a fierce cry-'How cruel you
are! Will You think of no one but
| Dolores! You stab me over and over
again with that name Dolores I
must think of her. he said; and what
| followed was my fault. My words
startled him; he seemed suddenly to
remember that we were out together
alone, that it was late, and that he was
| distant from home l saw him give a
quick, startled glance around him; he
seemed to be considering which was
the shortest path across the wood.
Come this way, Lola he said. And
we left the long, straight path on
which we had been walking and cross
/ ed the green. I saw that I had dis
tressed him. and my hatred of Dolores
] increased. Think of me at least, with