davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03
DANGER IN CHEAP GLASSES.
A Great Many Eyes Ruined by At
te1npts ut Economy

A Great Many Eyes Ruined by At
te1npts at Economy.
Looking back now TO the time when
the itinerant quack doctor and the
wandering dentist spread misery and
destruction over the land. we wonder
at the ignorance or carelessness Of our
fathers in trusting their teeth or even
their lives to hands so untrUstworthy.
A very similar thing is done today by
people who buy spectacles or eyeglass-
es from men who sell them on the
streets or have their eyes fitted by op-
ticians r.ho have no qualifications for
doiag tiie work.
A surprising number Of people buy
their glasses from venders on the
streets. They get glasses for 80 cents
which seem TO them just as good as a
pair they would pay s. for having
made on m oculist's prescription. and
they think they have saved money.
Glasses acquired in all sorts of ways
by Inheritance or exchange from a
friend or even glasses found on the
streets are used to the detriment. even
to the destruction, Of the wearer's
sight.
People seem to think glasses are
ike clothes said an old oculist the
other day. and if they are fairly com
Portable and look well they ask no
further questions"
Another way in which people dam
age their eyes is through carelessness
in trying to remove dust or cinders
from them. They try themselves. a
friend tries rub. the nearest drug
store and the nearest optician are call
ed on. all before an oculist is consult
ed. The result is that the eyebGn IS
often badly rubbed and scraped. and
in many instances permanent injury Is
done.-New York Evening Post
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03
IL Paid to ne Cheerful

A manufacturer OF KensingtOn tells
this true tale: Fifteen years ago
was very rich. but ten years ago there
came a time when il seemed that I'd
surely fall. One day when a smash
appeared a certainty | walked down
Chestnut street toward the wool ware
houses. blue. blue as indigo. but
braced up and put on a cheerful air
Just then a man knew came in and
said:
SAY. Bill. what makes you always
look SO cheerful? Don't you ever have
any trouble at ally
"'Oh. yes said |. jollying a little;
hut 10 look blue doesn't 60 any good,
etc.
We'll this fellow said. I tell you
what I'm going TO do. I've got $4,000
lying Idle. and I'm going 10 get you TO
invest il for me You're so well of,
so lucky in business always. and So
blamed cheerful I'm sure nothing ever
fails with you. and | want you 10 in
vest this money any way you please,
and won't even ask you how you did
invest it,
well. took this mans money. II
was just the amount my tottering busi-
ness needed 4 year late- times and
prices were vastly better. and ] paid
the $4,000 lack with interest at-what
do YOU think?-9 per -Philadel-
phia Record
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03
ana Chilh ror Ench Hour.

Henry Bloch. business man or
Brooklyn. eats breakfast at half past
Rosie. goes to breakfast at - rlin1tcs
TO Gabriel and retires for the night at
Achilles. Mr.. Bloch has y children.
. girls and 3 boys. He is fond of his
family and In order that he might al
ways have them in mind had watch
made with the miniature photograph
OF one Of the children in the place OF
each Of the hours on its dial Thus
where the figure : would be on an or
binary watch dial the pretty face or
his daughter Rosie looks out. The face
Of the boy Gabriel represents l o'clock.
that Of Freda o'clock and so on
around the dial. At his home Mr..
Bloch has a large clock, on the dial OF
which the figures are represented in
the same way.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03

Here = what caught reporters eye
IN a two minutes study of the streets
OF New York on q down town corner.
on the sidewalk. three urehins. evil
Of face. fndustriously shooting" craps.
From the doorway Of a frowsy saloon.
ten Yards away. a gray haired woman
issuing with u jug Of beer. though il
was only 10 o'clock ia the morning.
A burly icenan and 4 negro roustabout
discussing. loudly and with much pro
family. the advantages Of each others
Jobs. A whir and rattle Of wheels
and an undertaker's wagon drives up
TO the door of Z modest red brick
tenement. 4 white coffin. three feet
long. is brought out and received by a
venerable old man. with a flowing
white beard. who comes 10 the door
coatIess and in slippers You then
notice for the first time the knot OF
white ribbon on the door handle The
old man tucks the diminutiye caske-
under his arm and retires within. fol-
lowed by the undertaker's men He IL
solemn. but fearless. There is a
story there somewhere-the slippered
patriarch in the final stage Of life per-
forming the last dolorous offices for
one lost in its beginning.
And over on the dock are the hue
and hustle. the scurry and scamper in
cidental 10 the getting to sea Of the
great ship Sharp are the contrasts Of
a town-New York Commercial Ad-
vprfiSer
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03
FIRST AMERICAN PATENT.
Granted nj Boston In 1cfs and Ca''
ed a Monopoly.

c-o,tea nj Boston In 1cfS and Cai-
ed a Monopoly.
To the general court Of Massaehu-
setts belongs the honor Of granting the
first American patent. This was N
164s and was then designated as a
monopolv. II was confined TO the re-
zion controlled by Massachusetts. an,l
the one issue apparently included all
the invention Of the inventor connect
cd with engines that depended upon
water for their motive power Ihe
limit of the monopoly WAS IL years
and the court not only retained power
10 forbid expectation. but 10 prevent
exorbitant charges upon the public Tor
their use.
The natent was issued in this form;
..JENKES MONOPOLYE,
AT a cpneralI COurte at Boston the
9th of the 3th Mo 1G4S- The cor't con
sidince We necessity Of raising such
manufactures Of engins- Of mills TO 90 by
water for speedy dispatch Of much
worke with few hands, and being suiii-
ciently informed Of ye ability Of ye pc
tition to peforme such workes grant
his petition (yet no Othr per sen shall
set up or use any such new invention.
or trade for II yeares without ye IL
cense OF him the said Joseph Jenkesi
so farr as cOncernes any such new in
vention. * so il shall be alwayes in ye
powr Of this cote TO restrain ye eX-
portatlOn of such manufactures x ye
prizes of them to moderation if oeca-
sion so require"
This inventor, Joseph Jenkes. or
jerks. as il would now be spelled.
came from Hammersmith, England.
settled in Lynn in 1913 and died in
1GS2-S3. aged 81. He was a black
smith and machinist. made the dies
for the coming Of the -Pine Tree
money and built the first fire ergine in
this country, altogether n man of great
inventive genius and the ancestor OF a
large number Of descendants. One OF
his sons removed 10 Rhode Island
where he built several miils.-Boston
Transcript
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03
The nIood Red hammer.

Royal and national colors vary with
nations and times. but since Cain slew
Abel blood red has been the sign of re-
volt. In the earliest revolt known 10
history. when the Persians rose against
their king 1000 years ago. they were
led by blood red banner. and during
the riots which took place In Paris the
men in the blood red caps We're follow
ed by the mob.
y blood red flag waved over Bunker
Hill when the Americans fought US for
liberty. and it was the emblem OF the
German peasants in their great upris-
ings in 1924. 1892 aud 1525. Blood red
was the color of the trade union flags
dL.'ing the middle ages. and il formed
tie background OF the emblem of the
Swiss confederacy In 1915.
Through the whole of French and
eTeTy other national history those
striking in their own ways for liberty
have worn the blood her cap and hail
ed the blood red banner as their leader.
Ii is 4 curious fact that never has L
monarch chosen 1t as his color. IL has
been left sacred TO revolutioniSts.-
don Answers.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03
A COLONY OF YoNsoNs.
Many of Tint Name In Business In n
Wisconsin Town.

Naay of Thnt Name In Business In a
wisconsin Town.
"Up In the central part of Wiscon-
sin" said a Chicago travelling man who
had got tired talking about the trusts.
there is a town that is inhabited al
most exclusively by 'Yonsons.' The
name of the man who keeps the hotel
is .Yonson.' the drug store on the cor
ner is owned by 4 man named 'fon-
SON the proprietor of the establish
ment that uses our goods is a Mr..
'Yonson.' and | noticed when l was
riding up town from the station that
the grocer and the butcher were both
'YonsOns.'
What's the matter hereY said to
the bus driver Haven't You any peo-
Die in this town who don't belong to
the "YonsOn" familyT
"'Vall. Az tank dare been Won or
two. he replied.
"'What's your nameY ! asked
"'Yonson.' he replied.
81 was about to make some further
INQUIRIES as to the 'YOnsOn' family.
but at that moment we passed the pub
lie laundry. and. looking at the square,
red sign above the door, l read:
"'Yip YonSon. Laundry
Inside the Chinaman who owned
the concern was busy ironing and per
hitting his pigtail TO hang down his
back. l am almost convinced now
that some of those 'Yonsons' are
frauds. Chicago Times-Herald.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03
PAID BY UNCLE SAM.
some OF the odd Expenses the Gov
ernment Has 60 Bear

ernment Has 60 Bear
Every one knows that 1t costs almost
S4O0,000.O0O a year TO run the United
States government in times of peace
and that the department of war and
the navy. the Indian and pension bu-
reaus absorb the larger part OF this
amount. bur in the course of years q
large number of dependents upon Un'
Gle Sans purse have come into being
Of which the general public knows lit
tie.
Such. for example. are the interna-
tional bureau for the repression OF the
African slave trade. located at Brus-
sells. a highly laudable Institution. 10
the expenses of which our government
contributes 500 Il year; the interna,
tional bureau OF weights and measures
also at Brussels. TO which S2.210 is con
tributed. and the International Geodet'
ic association. the expenses OF which
our government shares 10 the extent
Of $3.50 yearly.
As a leading member Of a group OF
nations specially interested in humane
and philanthropic work we subscribe
S325 year to lighthouse service e1
the coast Of Morocco. about $500 to
be divided among citizens of other
lands for service rendered TO ship
wrecked American seamen. SEQ year
toward maintaining a hospital for sail
ors nt Panama and $1,000 for keeping
and feeding American convicts impris-
oned in foreign countries.
Among the unfamiliar purposes in
the home country for which money is
appropriated from the federal treas
ury is the maintenance of tile Wash
ington monument, costing Sli.520 an
nually. and the provision Of artificial
limbs for soldiers calling for S547,oO
a year.-Leslle's Weekly.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03

Scenery that acts, II Wagner had
wrought DO other revolution on the
operate stage he would deserve our
gratitude. Take Cor purpose Of com
parisou the vessel in "LAfricaine'
and the ship in the first act OF Tristan
and Isolde" The former shows the
section of q vessel rs neatly divided
into various compartments as box O.
seed samples If the scene is well
done. IT, when the double basses begin
TO rumble and the ship begins
10 roll. the women shrek In their com
partnents the priests pray in theirs.
and the savages whose canoes would
surely have been swamped in the
storm. supp0siag they could have been
launched at all. climb over the ships
side and massacre everything in sight
well. we see the cleverness Of it and
are entertaiced. but hardly horror
stricken or c -.icoIne by terror.
on the other hand. the ships deck
In Tristan" with its group Of silent
men near the helm and its passion
torn woman in the foreground. the dis
tant horizon line suggesting the sea Tar
more effectively than a whole platoon
of mechanically worked" waves pos
sibly can. creates Illusion and atmos-
phere. and forms as much a component
part of tie music drama as the sing
ers and orchestra. The ship in
"L'Africaine" is a clever bit Of stage
mechanics: the ship in Tristan" is
scenery that acts.-Gustay Kobbe IN
Century.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03

Henry Keyes of Nermont was life
long Democrat Governor Mattacks-
or Judge Mattacks-was for a brief
period 4 Democrat also. After he get
TO be 4 judge he soon became 4 Whig.
While holding court n St JohnsbUry
he occupied room at the leading ho-
tel. which. as was usual during court
time. was dun. Late at night Mr.
Keyes arrived and wanted a bed The
landlord informed him that every bed
in the house had two in it except the
one that was occupied by Judge Mat
tacks
Go up and tell him that Henry
Keyes wants TO sleep with him"
The landlord went up. raped at the
judges door, and told him l.sS GRAND.
Henry Keyes." said the judge half
asleep; Henry Keyes or Newbury.
Demccratg Oh. yes. I've had il once.
Let him in."--San Francisco Arsonaut.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03
But the Negro Always Tries TO Keep
His Heels Cool.


His Heels Cool.
1t has often been said that the ca
pacity Of the negro race for enduring
neat has never been fully tested. An
incident related by a dairymaE living
on the outskirts OF the city seems TO
bear out this assertion.
This dairyman has a young negro
boy who looks after the cattle and
does chores around the place. The on
ly effect that the heat produces in his
case is desire TO slumber. The dairy
man had n young calf in the barnyard.
and as the sun was pouring in on the
poor animal his wife sent "Carlina"
cut to turn the calf loose, so that he
could seek 4 shady spot. After wait
ins an hour for his return the house
wife went 10 the barnyard to inyesti-
gate There she found both boy and
calf curled up in the hot and stifiing
barnyard The calf was dead from
the effects of the sun. but the boy was
slumbering peacefully by its side
While a negro can stand any amount
of heat on his head he loves to cool his
heels. II Is a common sight in the
winter to see n negro boy on a frosty
morning with his head bundled up TO
keep out the cold and at the same time
walking uncOncernediy along the
frosty ground In his bare feet. One Of
the hottest places in the city on hot
day is at the lumber wharfs OF the
Florida Central and Peninsular rail-
road. When the men knock off for
noon. they frequently take a nap with
their faces upturned to the rays of the
blazing sun. At the same time they
get their feet under the shadow OF
some friendly lumber pi!e.-F;Orida
Times Union.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03

4 bland and ratronizing New Yorker
vas passing through n raw and new
hamlet in the west. which its proud
founders had dubbed b City and
were sure would soon become a thriv-
lng hive of human beings Addressing
4 lank and lazy youth who was l0ung-
Ing at the door ef one Of the rude shan
ties that passed for a "shoe empori-
I'M" the New Yorker inquired sarcas
tica.ly:
who is that important looking gen
tleman with the red flannel shirt: =
That's Sam Peters" was the proud
reply. Hes just opened the new post
Office"
And the tan person with no col.
lar:"
Hes Long Mike. Just opened a gro
cery store"
And the plump individual with the
bald headE-
Handy Jim. Owns the new saloon.
''IndeedT' said the New Yorker.
Your city seems to be pretty wei
started. should suppose there was
nothing let for a stranger like mysel,
to open"
"Oh, | dunno" drawled the lanky
one. We amt got no loonattic asylum
yet. You might start that" - New
York Tribune.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03

When | lived ut Newport. r l.. from
1864 10 1873. says Colonel I. ". His-
ginson. in The Atlantic. there was 4
constant procession of foreign visitors,
varying in Interest and often quite
wanting in it. | remember one eminent
literary r.an who. IN spite Of all cau-
tionS TO the contrary. appeared at a
rather fashionable day reception il
what would now be called a golf suit.
OF the loudcst possible plaid. like that
Of the Scotch cousin In Punch who
comes down thus dressed Tor church
to the terror OF his genteel cousins In
this case the visitor also wore Il spy
glass of great size, hung round his
neck. all through the entertainment
Another highly connected English
man. attending an evening reception
given expressly for him. came into -he
parlor with his hat and umbrella in sls
hand. declining 10 be parted from,
them through the whole evening.
which suggested TO 4 clever Newport
lady the story OF the Snowman who
exhibited a picture of Daniel in the
lions den and pointed ont that Daniel
was TO be distinguished from the lions
by having a blue cotton umbrella un-
der his arm. Ia this case. the lady re-
marked that the conditions were re-
yersed. since il was the lion that car
ried the umbrella.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03
Auenrtres. .fnthrn

There is 4 girl in town who. being
both bright ard pretty. has 4 good
many admirers. but the most ardent Of
all happens 10 be a pudgy old grass
widower. with two grandchildren and
q red nose.
Naturally she has 10 stand 2 good
deal OF guying on his account and
skipS him rs much as possible. So
much, in fact. that the poor man had
10 chance &c plead his cause in private
and alone and so was at last driven 10
the use cf pen and paper.
Here is his production. It is recon-
mended TO all bashful lovers for its
brevity and beauty. as well as busi-
nesslike construction;
Neitie, I want 20 know my fate. You know
that ! love yol. VIII you marry me2 II 50,
speak TO me ah1ut H. 7 think the wcrld Of you.
Give me chance, Nettie. Yours truly.
BLANKETT D.sH.
And would you believe it? That
heartless maiden hasn't spoken TO
him about it yet.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03

An American farmer near Guadala-
jara convinced his Mexican neighbors
that oxen can do more work under
American yokes. so generally used in
the republic. The American brought
several modern yokes from the United
States and used them with success.
The curiosity of his Mexican friends
was aroused. and they proceeded Ia
ask questions.
well" said the American. when
you lssso steer and the lasso gets
around his neck what do you do?''
Turn him loose" was the reply.
''WhyT
Because he's too strong for Us that
way"
That's it," answered the American.
'His strength is in his neck. not in his
horns
The Mexicans saw the poilr. and
now yokes of United States manufac-
ture are generally used in that neigh
borhOod.-Modern Mexico.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03

The Cleveland Plain Dealer tells this
story Of the Virginia haciwoods: \
white minister after coa1ucting ser
vices al colored church asked al OLD
deacon TO lead in prayer The lusky
brother in his fcrveat appeal asked
tiat 4 shower OF heavenly grace lie
permitted 10 fAll upon lis white friend
lie said:
20 Lor'. give him &c eye Of de
EAGLE dat be may spy out our sins afar
OF. Weld his hans TO de Easps
plow: tie his tongue 10 dc lines OF
truf and nail his ear TO de goSyrl pole,
IN. O Lor. bow his hail WY down
an benin his knees. an bis knees
way down-ah in some lonesome dark
an narrow valley. o Lor'. whar much
prayer is needed 10 be naae-ah. Arn
'noint him Ovah wid lie blessed lie uf
de kerosene Of salvation. N sot h..a
on fab Wild de match Of faith made
perfec'-amenr'
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03
Corvinr the Yo.emite yaIley.

In a recent article on the origin of
the Yosemite valley. Professor W. +.
Blake-a most adequate authority on
the subject-remarks that the gorge. so
grand and impressive. is. in fact. only
a minor feature Of the glacial workings
above it through hundreds Of square
miles OF the Sierra. Professor Blake
thinks that the ice must have filed the
gorge. and much above il. to a thick
ness Of 5000 feet. and with pressure
upon the floor Of the valley Of 10000
pounds to the square foot; the ire
mendous force of such weight. on the
under surface OF which was a broken
mass of rock. Ike diamonds in a drill.
grinding. planning and cutting. can
scarcely be imagined: for untold ages.
too. this mighty force was at work.
polishing the face of the country
through which it passed.
The character Of tie Yosemite rocS
being granite. close grained and verti-
cal in structure. with points Of easy
fracture. il would appear that, as the
great mass of ice bore down upon this
vertical rock. it was broken and knock
cd over by The moving ice. taking OF
AT the places Of easy cleavage. Thus.
according to Professor Blake. the prec-
ipice was formed, and thus is explain
ed the dome shaped SUBMITS of the
mountains there.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03
noy BabIe. and c.,, Lie.

Cities are more favorable to women.
for statistics show that more boy
babies die under months in cities
than girl babies. Families. according
TO the statistics. are larger in cities
than in the country. There are more
marriages IN proportion to the popuIa-
ton In cities than in the country. and
also more divorces. The foreign popu-
lation in cities is being eliminated. and
in 20 years from now we shall
practically have nothing but American
cities.-St. Paul Globe.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03
HI. Re,,eax

The other day a little stenographer
in down town office begged some
workmen who were putting up new
telephone not to place it so high on the
wall as they were doing
You see" she said. Il have 20 use II
as nuch as any one. and | am so short
that | can hardly reach it,"
''Ch. well miss. said the humorist IN
charSe Of the work. .yoa can raise.
your voice. can't youy'-Boston Tran
script.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03

The atmospheric ocean surrounding
the earth is frequently disturbed by
gigantic waves. which are Invisible px-
cept when they carry parts of the air.
charged with moisture. up into n coIier
atmospheric stratum, where sudden
condensation occurs. In This manner
long. parallel lines of clouds some
times make their appearance AT n great
height. marking the crests Of a ripple
of air waves running miles above our
heads.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-01-03

A young and newly married coupe
We're entertaining their friends. and
among the guests was one whose con
tinued ruderess made him extremely
Objectionable 10 the rest Of the com
pany. His conduct. although most un-
bearable. was put up with for some
time. until at supper he held up on his
fork a piece of meat which had been
served to him. and in 4 vein Of intend
ed humor he looked round and re-
marked:
''Is this pis:"
This Immediately drew forth the re-
mark from a quiet looking individual
sitting NJ the other end Of the table:
(which end of the fork do you refer
to?'-Spare Moments.