The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1900-08-24
CHAMP CLARK 5 LETTER
Republican Lilliputians
and CULVER Reed.
FUNNY SIDE OF POLITICS.
Perry S. Heath Would Ostracize
j the Man From Maine.
TRIBUTE TO SPLENDID GENIUS.

TRIBUTE TO SPLENDID GENIUS.
Thomas b. Reed Loves His Country
Better Than His Party-Peanut Pol
itics In Regard to Mr.. Bryan-Ted-
Judge Jackson's Pointed Remarks
Anent the Pension Office.
Especial Washington Letter.l
What pity that Jonathan Swift, the
mighty dean of St. Patrick's, cannot
return to earth! Certainly the funniest
thing and the most preposterous that
has happened on earth since the Lii
liputians undertook to conquer Gull
liver Is the determination of Perry S.
Heath ct i'd omne genus to ostracize
Thomas Brackett Reed in the present
campaign. The unutterable scorn with
which that intellectual Titan must re-
gard his pygmy prosecutors needs the
furious genius and merciless pen Of
Swift to describe it. 'Twould be worth
ten years of peaceful life to see big
Tom roll in to Republican headquar-
ters while Perry and his petty political
pirates are in council as to how they
will bobble the man from Maine.
Blessed stars, how they would take
to cover, get out, vamoose, skedaddle,
absquatulate!
The Lilliputians drew up certain
regulations for the conduct of Gulliver,
whom they called "'The Man Noun
tain," which regulations commend to
Perry ct al. in their endeayor to tie
up Mr.. Reed. Here they are:
"First.-The Man Mountain shall not
depart from our dominions without our.
license under our great seal.
'Second.-He shall not presume to
come into our metropolis without our
express orders, at which the inhabit-
ants shall have two hours warning to
keep within doors.
"Third.-The said Man Mountain
shall confine his walks to our principal
highroads and not offer to walk or lie
down in meadow or field Of corn.
'Fourth.-As he walks the said roads
he shall take, the utmost care not to-
trample upon the bodies of any of our
loving subjects, their horses or car
riages and not to take any of our sub
jects into his hands without their own,
consent"
Most Brilliant American.
Surely the ferocious Swift when he
wrote "Gulliver's Travels must have
had in his minds eye the events now
transpiring about Republican. head
quarters. Unquestionab1y Reed is The
Man Mountain, and it would be awful
IL he should walk or lie down In the
Republican meadows or fields of corn,
and in the language Of rule for the
protection Of the Lilliputians our Re-
publican Man Mountain should take
the utmost care not to trample upon
the bodies of any of Perry's chums,
especially those Of Mark Hanna, Will
liam Mckinley and Teddy Roosevelt.
Thomas Bracket Reed is easily the
most brilliant man in America. He is
the greatest living Republican. His
most patriotic act was In resigning his
seat In congress, and with 1t the speak
ership. because he could not indorse
the un-American policy Of the Nc
Hannaite administration. To his eter-
nal credit be 1t said that he possessed
independence enough Of soul to volun-
tarily lay down the political Office Sec
ond in power and Importance only to
the presidency-cheerfully gave up its
emoluments-an retired to private life
because he loved his country better
than his party. No higher tribute could
be paid to his splendid genius than
that he should be feared and therefore
hated by the pitiful dwarfs who are
now running the Republican machine.
They haven't brains enough to compre-
hend The Man Mountain, they haven't
generosity enough to admire him, they
haven't strength enough to tie him,
and they haven't money enough to buy
him.
Peanut Politics.
All decent men will agree that It is
peanut politics. to say nothing worse
OF It, to drag Bryan's domestic affairs
into the campaign and parade the fact
to the world that Mrs. Bryan now EN-
ploys servant girl to help do the
work, whereas she formerly did 1t all
herself. / humbly submit that Mrs
Bryan is clearly entitled to have 8
81 servant girl II she wants one and Ii
able to pay her, and the Republican
papers are doing themselves no credit
BY trying to. use that fact to the preju
dies cf her illustrious husband. NJ
sS purer home life has illustrated Ameri