The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-11-03
In HOTEL CORRIDORS.

1nOIIS0SlEe
said a railroad man, and have heard 10
farmers blowing into bumblebees, nests
and I have myself caught DumOie DeeS
in their homes and tried to capture
them When a boy I played on a COM
mon that was planted in clover and lit
tie honeybees would sting my naked feet
daily, but I had an experience with
wasp a few years ago that VIII cause
his sting to hnger in my mind forever.
I was station agent in a little town in
western Kansas at the time and, as all
agents in small towns where there is a
competing line, was very obiglnS
and was on the lookout for any business
I could find. had a reputation for be-
ing polite and obliging and f1attered my
self that I picked up a little business on
account of it. There was a lady visiting
in the town who was quite a social IA
vOrite and she wanted to go to Louisi-
ana to visit some friends-she had mon
ey and put in her time visiting-sO she
talked with me about the route she
should take and the connections she
would make. There was one connection
in Louisiana could not learn from the
time table and had to write about it It
was some time before received a reply,
but I think that woman stopped me on
the street at least twice a day and came
to the station once BESIDES TO inquire
about the connections and talk the trip
over. I got awfully tired of it, but that
is one of the trials of an agents life,
however, it has nothing to do with the
wasp. One day in the fall, 1t was
beautiful warm day, she stopped me on
the street and made the usual inquiry
which led into a rehash of the ground
we had talked over numberless times
noticed several WaSpS crawling around
on the sidewalk as they do in the warm
fall days after q cool night, but paid no
attention to them. One of them crawl
ed up my trousers leg while the woman
was talking to me and / was smiling
and talking pleasantly. It got pretty
well up; in fact, it got up as far as it
could go handfly and I suppose moved
my leg. The wasp may have been stiff
with the cool weather, but his basebur-
ner was working all right and when I
moved he stuck his retaiator into me-
grabbed my trousers where the wasp
was, gave a yell, like a Comanche IN
dian and without stopping to say a
word to the woman, who had screaned-
when jumped, ] started on a dead run
for my home which was a few doors
away AS I entered the front gate, I
threw of my coat and vest and took off
the rest of nv clothes in the house As
I removed my trousers the wasp flew
out and I saw what the trouble was I
had thought it was a rattlesnake or
something equally as bad. had been in
the house but a few minutes when the
neighbor men raped at the door and
when my wife, who was almost chOked
with laughter, answered their call ask
ed if they could be of any assistance.
They explained later that the woman
had told them that / had suddenly gore
mad. My wife told the story on me and
when the woman finally bought her
ticket and left she could not refrain
from laughing in my face through the
ticket window I assured her however |
that was not going to the asylum for
awhile
They were talking Of the Galveston
disaster, when one of the men said: "Of |
course have great sympathy for the
people there, but, like everyone else, I |
DO not feel the same as I would if l had
had personal friends or relatives in the |
city was never there but once and |
a favr 1r,x~ No
whom got acquainted with was like !
myself, a visitor, and the thing in the |
city which interested US both more than |
any oJher one thing was a monkey !
which belonged to a barkeeper in one Of |
the many saloons. / do not remember |
now the barkeeper looked but I can re-
caIl that monkey very distinctly He
was large-much larger than any I had |
ever seen do not recall the breed of |
monkey he was, but I think he came |
from Java He was a most intelligent |
brute and I remember that nv friend |
remarked that he was the intellectual /
superior OF his master. The saloon was |
not very public one and patronage |
was not very brisk while we were there |
Out on account of the monkey we made /
up Tor the customers who did not drop |
AZ. Inc monkey was sitting on the bar !
When we went in and of course it at /
Iracted our attention at once We called |
1or cocktails after talking awhile with \
the barkeeper about the brute and he /
asked US If We thought the monkey
could mix the drinks. OF course we /
lauSned at the remark, but at the Vori /
from his master that monkey flew
around and proceeded to mix two cock
talls IN the most approved fashion. They |
were nne and Of course we were greatly |
surprised The barkeeper assured us \
mat the monkey could mix any drink |
we would call for providing. of course.
llat we did not ask for drinks that were |
known only in certain LOCALITIES He /
could mix any drink that was
known nationally. We tried him /
ana the monkey did not
receive one sign from his master He |
Mould SIMPLY repeat after Us what we /
ordered and would then say Mix it up. |
JACK and the monkey would proceed |
20 mix He made gin fiz, mint julep, /
Ed r1cky, sherry cobbler, lemonade, milk |
punch and made them all Of the very /
nest have seen few professional mix |
efs VINO could fix up drinks in the man 4
ner that monkey could We did not |
attempt to drink all we ordered, but |
would taste of the drink and then call |
Tor something else The monkey was a 1
great source OF profit for the proprietor, /
who told US that he had about COM |
pleted the monkeys training, and when 1
standard high priced cigars he intend |
ed taking the animal to New York and |
opening up saloon where he expected /
to make all kinds Of money on the 1
strength Of having a monkey barkeeper. /
He said that he had spent less than a l
year teaching the animal all it knew. /
l have never heard Of the monkey since |
l left the town and don't know what /
became Of it 1 expect, though. that it /
took to hard drink and filed a. damp I
ana undesirable drunl1ard's grave, for /
II was very fond Of bSes~at the time I
was there, and could or a bottle Of
beer and dispose OF She contents very
handily''
This year is not as prolific in the |
production Of idiots who make odd bets