The Portland daily press., 1900-05-08
THE NEW NEIGHBORS.
Give Jobson a Chance TO Indulge I'm n
MonOlogue.

"New neighbors, eh 2" said Mr.. Jobson
the other morning as he paused on the
steps of his house before setting of for
his Office and nodded toward the furni-
ture vans backed up to the curb of the
new house on the left that had only re-
Gently been completed.
$50 observe" said Mrs. Jobson. Then
Mr.. Jobson went on down town about his
business.
When he came home that afternoon, he
had 1t all made'up for Mrs. Jobson.
Met the new neighbors, of course, by
this timeY' said he to Mrs. Jobson al
most as soon as he Lid hung his hat and
coat on the rack. tr
well, l haven't been H.
Not met them YETI exclaimed Mr..
Jobson in well simulated tones of sur
prise. "Why. that's funny. | expected
to find them here for dinner when | got
home Not losing your neighborly grip
on anything are you. Mrs. Jobson"
"Now, you know that
"Well. well, well"' said Mr. Jobson.
"a whole eight hours have passed since
the vans of the new neighbors' truck hove
to on the horizon, aud you haven't got
real chummy and thick with 'em yet!
| hope you're not ailing. Mrs. Jobson!'
please don't be so rid
| "Anyhow, il didn't find them all here
at dinner | surely thought you'd be in
| there on terms of unbendable friendship
| with the female boss of the house when l
| got home Why, aren't you wasting val
liable time? Surprising they find they
| don't like the house tomorrow morning.
say, and move away, and there you'll be
you won't have known them and had
'em running In here in sets Of fours when
/ wanted to read my paper, and
"If you'll only let me-
But Mr.. Jobson wasn't doing any let
ting. He had the whole thing all thought
out and rehearsed, and he didn't want to
| overlook any chances.
Thought I'd find the young ladies Of
| the new family-are there any young la
| dies-in here anyhow" he broke in,
| telling yNu how they were going to have
| their new spring foulards made or asking
| your advice about their pinheaded beaus.
| Can't be possible that you haven't al
ready succeeded in inspiring them with
| confidence and learned the whole history
| of their lives from their own lips dozen
| times over, can it? Has the lady at the
| head OF the new plant next door touched
| you up for little snip of tea until the IL
| comes yet? Not leaned over the back
fence and asked you for the loan OF your
hatirons, you say. yet? Why, you really
| can't like your new neighbors, Mrs. Job
SOM
''How fond you are becoming of the
sound of your own
"Did the lady who runs the new plant
| tell you that great sorrow rests on her
/ life by reason of the fact that her hus-
band Is so lacking in regard for the high
err and nobler that he eats lemon me-
| ringue pie with tablespoon and falls to
sleep after dinner and SHORES? She didn't
| tell you that yet, Ell? Oh, but she will,
though. Give her time. S'pose you told
| her that your man didn't care much
about Nirvana and Delsarte and reincar-
nation and the influence of environment
and tiddledywinks, either. Ell? That's a
| great sorrow on your life too, isn't it? l
s'pose you told them how to hang the
| pictures up, Ell? And told 'em all about
the rest of the people on the block-whom
| to cultivate and whom to knock? Did
you say anything while you were in there
about that perfectly lovely family that
moved In three doors to the right that
| you got on terms Of indissoluble thick
ness with 20 minutes after the last NOV
| ing van had moved off and that you got
sore on aud decided wouldn't do inside
| of three or four days? Didn't mention
| anything about that crowd, eh! Did
you tell 'em about that other delightful
couple who moved into the neighborhood
last fall. the feminine unit of which told
me the first day after you met her was
the most abused and lovable thing that
ever hit up n concrete pavement-the one
that came in here every evening and told
| us how N. q. her husband was-a man
that I've since found out was mighty
| good fellow? Didn't touch upon that
| nejghbor, Ell? Didn't