The Houma courier. (Houma, La.) 1878-1939, 1900-05-05
TEN THOUSAND WEDDINGS
saint Curioun and HumOrous Rem-
tnisceuees Of an OLD English
Parrish Clerk.

-
assisted at no less than 10000 mar
riages.' The ~chronicler has wisely pre-
ferred to remain anonymous, for, look
goa, mesdames and mademoisenes what
ought fate to have in store for a man
who not only ~confesses to- have given
away 1,13O brides, but proceeds to re-
peat the process, with, it must be adj
United, the bridegrooms as well, in
"Cupid's Pupils?"
Truly, I do not think that the author
would ind women altogether as Shake
Epeare describes them, soft, mild,
pitiful and flexible" if some Of the
brides in question knew that he had
thus ruthlessly torn away the veil and
laid bare their tender secrets to the
gaze Of an amused public. Ones belief
in the shrinking maidenly modesty in
s~eparable from the ideal bride is some
what shaken to find that in some cases
the banns were put up by the lady UNI
Known to the happy man, and that out
Of 100 consecutive entries in the banns
book % couples attended together, IA
were given by the men, and no less than
IS by the expectant brides!
The ladies were evidently seIF-pos-
gaeEsed and businesslike, for the par
ish Clerk makes no mention of their
Introduction Of themselves, but the
men-clumsy and awkward as ever
seemed n and all to indulge in at
telnpts at humor to conceal their nerv-
ousness. For example:
Come to commit suicide-I mean put
up the bannsS
Want to enter u names for a hang
ing match, and we want to be prayed
for.
There also seems to be a considerable
amount of trouble in getting accurate
information from both brides and
bridegrooms regarding names and
ages. In one amusing instance young
lady was unable to spell her lovers
name, and the family gravestone had
to supply the information. That the
gentler sex is always in a hurry to
change names is an accepted tenet of
the male creed, but possibly few meet
with so blunt a rebuff as the young
lady who, on being asked her name
when the couple called about the
banns, gave the she was 4x-
Pecting'to bear. The young gentleman
instantly turned toward her and said,
cOrrectively: You ain't-yet," COW
ering the girl with bushes and con-
fusion.
Many eccentric characters, of course,
figure among "Cupid's Pupils" one of
the oldest perhaps being a widow who
had only buried her husband four
months previously, and upon giving
notice for her second marriage wished
that her poor husband" could know
of her intention to take another, che
would be so pleased" Another indi-
sRiduaR perhaps not altogether .singu-
lar in this respect, suggested that "k''
should be substituted for "v' in a GER
tain portion of the marriage service,
which would then have. read that the
couple should live together as long as
they both should like.
Bridesmaids, too, do not seem to be
alwaysthe quiet, Unobtrusive assistants
one would expect; and instances are
here recorded of some who have taken
upon themselves to rearrange the we'd
ding group at the communion rails, or
keep the ring out of sight, while others
have thought it their duty to give the
bride away, or even dress exactly like
her, with veil and orange blossoms, so
that the embarrassed bridegroom
scarcely knew which to marry.
Among some of the more curious
weddings at which the author gave the
bride away were those contained in
the following extract:
Two spinsters, one aged 20, to two
men in a dying condition.
A spinster pauper from a workhouse
to a wandering tramp.
A widow to a gypsy.
A spinster of rs to a jet-black negro
and within the space of 70 months
one young lady to two husbands.
Men seem to come out very badly at
weddings, their courage oozing out at
their finger ends, when it comes to
taking the bride officially by her hand,
some indeed so that they have scarcely
been able to articulate!
"a few of them,' says the clerk,
"have been as ridiculousIy ready to do
the brides part as neryously as they
performed their own calling them
selves Sarah Jane, or any name men
toned by the clergyman. In another
ease the bridegroom allowed an ON
nous pause to follow the introduction,
I, Thomas,' but the bride was in no
mood to tolerate unnecessary pauses,
and instantly instructed him to pro-
coed. Her spirited command was Take
thee, Eizabeth-go on!' And Thomas
took her"
Joseph's intellectual capacity was
limited, and he spoke thus; Il, JOS
eph, take thee, Jane, to my wedding
wife, to have and to co. while another
had special intentions respecting his
brides future: 81, William, take thee,
Susannah, to my wedding wife to re-
serve and to behoId!''
Other r-ecoIections, all of them Gu
rious or interesting, many of them
amusing, are to be found within these
green covers, and the chapters are
short and bright. There is no necessity
to go below the surface of that book,
or regard the author in any other light
but that of one who desires, as he avs
to be o recorder of realities. There is