davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09

his lead, but Id like to near from
Lish Billings on this matter"
''It's purity late" says Lish.
"How purity late?'
"Why, Jonas has rented his barn
ag'in and got 81 deadhead tickets, and
here's one he give me. How's that fur
a pint"
The meetin stood appalled, fur min
1t, and then Deacon Spooner looks
around and says:
'Jonas has got 20 tickets left, and
that means he has 1G more to give
away outside his family. Fellow coun-
trymen, do you take 1t that this meetin
has pledged herself?"
"No, no, no." shouted the crowd.
as it the opinion of this meetin that
Jonas Teachout ought to be wrassled
withT'
mo, no, nor
"Then I'm appealin directly to Moses
Harper. Moses, will you withdraw
them remarks about the blight of de-
struction, the allurin colors of vice
and innocence weepin under a black
berry bushY'
81 might" says Moses after little
reflection, "but / want to be let down
easy"
at shall be done I'm offerin the fol
lowin resolution to be voted on: Re
solved, That circus pictures on a barn
may or may not affect the moral
standard of a community, but we are
willin to chance it this year All in
favor or ag'in will manifest 1t in the
usual way"
The resolution was carried with
whoop, and the crowd piled over itself
to get outdoors and look around for
Jonas Teachout and beg fur deadhead
of the last NJ. QUAD.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09
THEY TOOK CHANCES.
ALL WERE WILLING TO RISK THE CIR
Gus POSTERS AGAIN.
Pap Perkins, the Jericho POstmns-
\ ter, Tells the Arguments That
Were Used, the Ptnts That Were
J Made and How the Decision Game.

Were Used, the P'tnts That Were
J Made and How the Decision Came.
copyright. 1900, by c. b. Lewis.l
1t was Moses Harper who begun 1t.
Some one told him that circus adj
vertisin wagon was slowly but surely
approaching the town of Jericho, and
he let It be known that he would show
up at the postotfice in the evenin and
have sunthin to say to interest the hull
United States. Nobody could guess
whether Moses had found a new way
Of gittin hired man up at o'clock in
the mornin " was goin to experiment
on CROWN broomsticks, and the crowd
was holdin its breath when he showed
up. Moses didn't lose no valuable time
tryin to find out whether Porto Rico
belonged to the United States or to a
tobacco trust, but put on his spectacles
and said:
'CitiZens of Jericho--The tocsin has
sounded, and we are here tonight to
counsel together in the cause of moral
ity. Last year, as most of you know,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09
Normal Institute.

Up to Wednesday evening 131 were en-
rolled at normal. This is little but not
much below the usual enrolment. 1t
seems to be the experience all over the
country this summer that normals are
not so largely attended as heretofore.
Good times seems to be taking few OF
the teachers into other lines.
Superintendent Farquhar and his in.
structors seem to be succeeding we'll with
their work. Prof. Rockers enforced
absence has thrown little more work
on the other instructors. Supt. E. d. Y
Culbertson, of Ames, is conductor of the
institute. He is one of the strong
educational men of the state. Prof @.
T. Wright, of the Adair schools, Prof.
Woods and Prof. Lancelot, both of whom
have taught in normals here before, and
Miss Carrie E. Forgrave, of Perry, who
teaches primary methods, constitute the
very able corps of instructors. Follow
ing is list of the students:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09
Trust.

Though clouds with evil portent loom
And lightnings menace me in wrath,
Still will / fear no sudden doom,
God in his mercy makes my path
Though tempest torture me with fear
And sorrow shadows with pail
Still Is the great All Father near
Eyer to hear my faintest call.
And though my hardened heart should break
And all life's sunshine turn to rain
Still will my soul no cutlery make
The father breaks to make whole again.
VIM. REED DUNRoY,
Written at Audubon, July 30, 1900
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09
By n Modern EsOp.

In the days when Children under
stood the language Of Everything a
Boy was telling his Troubles to the
Eggs.
'srhey always Beat me-" he Com
planned, unless l am Good"
"They will not beat u.s." observed the
Eggs, unless we are Good"
Moral.-T,.ere must be some Mistake
in those Jokes about Omelets.-Balti-
more American.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09
Red Hot From The Gun

Was the ball that hit G. b. stead
man Of Newark. Mich, In the civil
War. 1t caused Nhorrible Ulcers that
no treatment helped for 20 years.
Then Bncklen's Arnica Salve cured
him. Cures Cuts, Bruises, Burns,
Boils, Felons. Corns and Skin Erup-
tions. Best Pile cure on earth. 20 cts.
a box. Cure guaranteed. Sold by A.
Roberts, Druggist.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09
Long Lightning Conductor.

Bavaria boasts that it has the longest
lightning conductor in the world. 1T
rises some yards above the top of the
meteorological station on the Tug
Spite, the highest point in the German
empire, and runs down the side of
the mountain to the bottom of the Hol-
lenthal, where there is running water
all the year round. The length of the
rod is five and half kilometers, nearly
three miles and half
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09

At school one day teacher, hav-
ing asked most Of his pupils the diff
ference between an island and PENN
sula without receiving a satisfactory
answer, came to the last boy.
II can explain it, sir" said the bright
youth. First get two glasses. Fill
one with water and the other with
milk. Then catch a fly and place 1t
In the glass Of water. That fly Is an
island, because II is entirely surround
ed by water. But now place the fly in
the glass of milk, and 1t will be a
peninsula. because 1t Is nearly sur
rounded by water"
The boy went to the top of the class.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09

my gracious! cried the sympathet-
ic girl. "Your dog seems half starved.
He looks as If he hadn't had anything
to eat for a week"
Neither he has, poor fellow!' replied
the college student. 81 forgot all about
him."
''Why, where was hep
Locked up in my study room"--
Philadelphia Record.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09
Nothing In n Name.

"Where have you been until this
shamefully unreasonable hourT
"Been sitting in quick repair shop,
my dear waiting for my only pair Of
shoes" cleveland Plain Dealer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09

1t is unfortunate that every ones
memory is best in retaining things it
would be more genteel to forget.-Atch-
ison Globe
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09

A philosopher says that every failure
is a step toward success. This ex.
plains why some men become richer
every time they fail.-Chicago News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09

If eggs would only grow on egg
plants, the incubator would do the
rest-and the poor old hen would have
to retire from business.-Sioux Falls
Argus Leader.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09
The following have been v

The following have been visitors at
different sessions of normal:
DIR. Robbie, of Audubon; J. A. Crow
aud wife, of Dedham; Mr.. Jones and sis
ter, of Clay county, formerly teachers
here; Mabel Swaney, of Gray; Miss Soar
and two lady friends.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09

Good chairs are the most difficult
pieces of old furniture to find. They
received harder use than other pieces
of furniture and consequently wore
out quicker.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09

You will never find any other pills as
prompt and pleasant as DeWitt's Lit
tie early risers. E. Prick & Son. :
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09
His Strategy,

81 am going to sea-" the young man
said and paused.
The young girl gasped, 80 Harry-er
Mr.. Timidr' She could not conceal
the tears in her voice.
Then he knew what he had feared to
ask in so many words.
Il am going to see," he repeated,
"your father tonight, If you will give
me permission" Then she feh upon
his ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Press.
always try to keep yourseiI wen TO
the 'front.'" said Senator Sorghum to
the young man who is studying poll
tics.
You mean l must be among the first
to advance new ideas and promote re-
FORMS"
mot exactly, but you must be among
the first to claim credit when the trick
Is done and everybody is applauding"
Washington Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09
HIRED GIRLS PROGRESS.
Fable Showing Wisdom of silence
Concerning Some Things.

| 1lRED 6lRl'S HRO0HcSS.
Fable Showing Wisdom of silence
Concerning Some Things.
Once upon a time there came into the
city from the country girl. The girl
wandered from her happy home to Sc
cure employment among the wealthy
families of the city, and when she
made known the fact that she was
willing to work many persons sought
her and implored her to engage witt
| them in domestic pursuits. The girl
was overwhelmed with offers, but final
| ly made a selection and settled in n
| family that valued her services very
| highly. The girl was happy until one
day her employer met a neighbor, a
very dear friend, and told her of her
| good fortune in finding the country
| girl. And This neighbor met another
very dear friend and told her of her
other friends good luck, and thus did
it become generally known that there
was a good ''hired grip in the neigh
borhoOd.
| And from that time on the mistress
day the very dear friend gave the girl
| $150 more week than she was earn
ing in her first place, and in this man
ner did the girl become happy Ggai!-,
| while her mistress and the very dear
friend ceased to be on speaking terms.
| And then the girl became unhappy
| again until the other very dear friend
hnr Of III o1Uanna Of 81 nd
| the other dear friend and the first dear
| friend ceased to talk over the back
| fence. And then the good girl wore
| fine dresses and fine hats, and one day
dashing young man led her to the
| altar, and now the three friends and
| the poor country girl are all very
happy.
Moral.-Don't talk good about your
hired girl-DetrOit Free Press.
Dachshund Tragedy.
"Stimler's collar button rolled under
| the bureau"
Eyes"
"And he 'sicked' his dachshund after
it."
"Go on"
THE bureau is heavy and stands
close to the floor"
proceed"
"The dachshund is the thinnest
dachshund that ever breathed, and he
could just squeeze under the bureau"
"Well?"
well, the dachshund reached the
collar button and at once swallowed it.
1t stuck half way down and thickened
the dog so that he couldn't pull himself
past the lump. SO Stimler had to call
in the janitor of the fiat, and they lift
ed the bureau off the dog"
What about the button?'
"Stimler said he'd let the dog keep
the button. He might need it."
"Need it?'
eyes, in case somebody collared him"
| Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09
Chairman Republican State Gel
Committee.
Gems From the Speech of Temporal

Gems From the Speech of Temporary
Chairman Roach.
Let no Populistic visionary tell an
Iowa audience that the career of "Old
Business" closed in an attempt on the
life of the nation for which he lived and
died.
Under the splendid leadership of Les
lie M. Shaw, Iowa has become the ban
ner sound money state in the west.
Opposed to our Doagnificent ticket, we
have a voice from Nebraska, and re-
minisCence from Illinois.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09

the exception Of the money plank, took
only fifteen minutes, discussion Of this
plank occupied the attention of the COM
mittee for q half dozen hours. Think.
ing men will notice that, for a question
which is not paramount" much time
was wasted on this subject, and they will
also remember that Bryan by the exer.
else of an unparalleled show of bossism,
compelled the convention to adopt his
platform of l6 to /. This is Mr.. Bryan
platform, and this alone. No other
feature is paramount with him; 10 to
is Bryan, and Bryan is 10 to l.
The statement that a Republican
United States senate will prevent the
contamination of this Bryanistic plat
form for at least five or six years, is not
borne out by the facts. 1t is absolutely
true, that should Bryan be elected this
fall, it would be necessary for him to
carry a sufficient number of states,
whose Legislatures will elect United
States senators next winter, to make the
United States senate practically tie on
the money question, and in two years
from now, should suci a misfortune &C.
cur this fall, the senate would be Bryan
istic.
Thinking men should carefully con-
slider the situation, and see that their
votes are given to the Republican ticket.
II. o. WEAVER,
Chairman Republican State Central
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-08-09

Old newspapers for sale at this office
at 8 cents a bunch of two dozen, tt
Daily camera., 1900-03-30
THE ENDS NOT YET.

All signs in the Transvaal seem to in
dicate that the war is to be the bloodiest
in recent history. Those who have look
ed upon the Boer reverses in Natsl and
the Free State as sounding the death
kaell of the South African Republics
may be right, but they are wrong if they
think these republics will die without
putting to hazard every expedient and
force they can command. President
Kruger Is made of stern, unyielding stuff
and be has the confidence and affection
of his people to a greater degree than
did George Washington. Indeed. from
the start Washington, greatest of leaders
and noblest OF men, was under mined by
envy and cabals. There was no dis
tioctive religious zeal to center upon him
the affections OF the coons,s. In the
Transvaal Kruger is looked upon as The
inspired representative Of Jehovah and
the burghers will rally around him to a
man. In the mountain passes they will
meet the British invaders audit will be
many months before the hosts Of Roberts
and Butler can reach Pretoria, if, Indeed
they ever reach that capital Hereto
fore they have been fighting on the lev
el, open veidt. but now comes warfare
peculiarly favorable TO the shlrpshoo,ing
mountain scaling Boer and though mum
bers and wealth of resorces must count
in the end we look for struggle endur
ing man months and involving the loss
of several scores of thousands OF comha.-
ants in the struggle.
Daily camera., 1900-03-30
Story of n Slave.

To be bound hand and foot for years
by the chains of disease is the wors. form
OF slavery. George D. Williams, Of Man.
chester, Mich. tells how such a slave
was made free. He says: "MY wife has
been so helpless for FIVE years that she
could not turn over in bed alone. Af,er
using two bottles of Electric Bltters. she
is wonderfully improved and able to do
her own work." This supreme remedy
for female. diseases quickly cures nervous
ness, sleeplessness, melancholy, head
ache, backache. .fainting and dizzy spells.
This miracle working medicine is a god.
send to weak. sickly, run down people
Every bottle guaranteed. Only 50 cents.
Sold by Streamers Drug Store.
Daily camera., 1900-03-30
Sheriff. Sals.

By virtue Of = certain writ Of execution, lien
etc, issued ont Of the clerk Office Of the district
court OF Boulder County and State Of Colorado,
and to me directed: whereby am commanded
to rake the sum Of two hundred aud twelve
and twelve-hundredths dollars ({2l..l2) and
costs Of suit, the amount OF a certain Judgment
recently obtained against O. H. Krueger in "a
vor Of The West Boulder Lumber Company out
Of the lands, tenemsnts. goods and chattels Of
the said 0. H. Kruger, have levied on the fol-
lowing property, toWit:
All the right, title and interest Of o. H. Krue.
ger in and to the west ten feet of lot four az and
the east thirty feet in lot five (5) in block seven
ty.6ve as, Of East Boulder as plated in the
County of Boulder and State of Colorado.
Therefore, according to said command. shall
title and interest Of the above named o. H.
Kruger in and to the above described property
on Wednesday the 4th day of April, 1850, at 10
O'Clock . M, at the south front door Of the
county court house in Boulder, Boulder County
Colorado.
Dated at Boulder this 9th day Of March, 1900.
THOS. j. SIPPLE,
Sheriff of Boulder County.
ALPBEUs WRIGHT, Plaintiffs Attorney.
CAMlRA-First pub. Mar. 8, last Aprilf. 1900
Daily camera., 1900-03-30
$500 REWAROi

We will pay the above reward fol any
case of Liver Complaint. Dyspepsia,
Sick Headache, Indigestion. Constipation
or costiveness we cannot cure with Liver.
ita. the Up.To. Date Little Liver Pill,
when the directions are strictly complied
with. They are purely vegetable, and
never fail to give satisfaction. 25c. boxes
contain 100 pills, Ioc. boxes contain 80
pills, SC. boxes contain IS pills. Beware
of subs,itutions and limitations, Sent by
mail Stamps taken. NERvIrA MED
ICAL Co, Co. Clinton and Jackson S,s,
Chicago. Ill. Sofd by Chss. T. Gilbert
Prescription Druggist. Post Offioe Block
Boulder, Colo.
Daily camera., 1900-03-30

Republican patty splits. So vide spread
Is the displeasure OF the people of the
west and northwest that it is now posit
lively stated by leading Republican news
papers that not one congressman who
voted for that Infamous bill 10 tax an
integral part OF the Union can be re elect
ed. In IndiaLa ex.President Harrison
and General Lew Wallace have sound
ed an unheeded note of warning. In
Illinois the Chicago Inter Ocean and
Times Herald, strong administration
papers. have appealed TO Caesar in vain.
Hanna will not hear and Mckinley, who
prated in his message of "our plain duty"
to give free trade to Porto Rico, because
of the proclamation of General Miles
when he invaded that islam :, dare not in
terfere. Oxnard demanded fer the
Sugar trust the price for his great con
tributions to the. campaign of 1896 in
money and votes and Oxpard vas but
the representative of all the trusts for
they stand shoulder to shoulder in their
crusade for protection, the mother OF
trusts. Il appears from the Washington
Post. an administration paper, that every
newspaper of consequence in the grea,
northwest-Wisconsin Minnesota, the
Dakotas--is denouncing this measure
bitterly, but congress goss merrily along
and the bill which shows that we pro
pose to maintain our new acquisitions as
colonies, instead Of as members of the
union, will be bullied through. The era
of Imperialism has begun. What think
the people of it?
Daily camera., 1900-03-30
Plain DUTY or Plain p.rildy.

Republicans in Washington still pro.
pose to 'compromise" with Porto Rico.
They put forward various schemes to 81
lence the protests Of the people on the
one side without offending the sugar ard
tobacco lobby on the Other. Not one of
these schemes is more than political
expedient. Not one of them pretehds
to be more Yet as political expedients
they are all bound to prpve absolutely
futile.
"Our plain duty is to abolish all Gus.
toms tariffs between the United States
and Porto Rico and give her free aceess
to our markets. said the president on
December s. Those words have been
imprinted indelibly on the national con
science. They cannot be wiped out by
any trick or subterfuge or expedient.
They mean that Porto Rido must receive
absolutely free access I'd our N n'kets."
without halt or hindrance, or plain
duty" must be fouted.
mere can be no mlddlei way, no com
promise. Either the Republicans in
Washington break faith OF keep i, fu'hll
their promise or repudiate il, hold fas, to
their platform or desert it,
That is the naked truth that no pre-
lenses veil, that no excuses can distort.
On it line Republican psE.y will D. ap
proved or condemned nexs islI, aud all
the words that can be spoken will not
bury II out Of sight.
Plain duty or plain perhdy-which
shall 1t te?-Chicago Inter Ocean IRE
publican)
Daily camera., 1900-03-30

Timely information given Mrs. George
Long. of New Straitville. Ohio, prevent
ed dreadful tragedy and saved two
lives A fightful cough had long kept
her awake every night. She had tried
many remedies and doctors but steadily
grew worse until urged to tfy DR.. Kings
New Discovery. One bottlf wholly cur.
ed her, and she writes this marvellous
medicine also cured Mr. Long of severe
attack of Pneumonia. Sudh cures are
positive proof of the matchless merit Of
this grand remedy for curing all throat
chest and lung troubles. ohly soc aud
sIco. Every bottle guaranteed. Trial
bottles free at Steamers Drhg Store.
Daily camera., 1900-03-30
Notice to the Ladies'.

Mr. and Mrs d. Lewis have engaged in
the ladies' tailoring business and are
prepared to do all kinds of ladies tailor
ing in the latest designs. Our Satosial
Art Productions Of Ladies Fashions are
from the John J. Mitchell Co, Fifth
avenue, New Yoik, whose reports are
the leaders. We have entered this work
and understand it thoroughly and will
guarantee all work. We also wish 10
state to the gentlemen that We will do 10
gen,leman's tailoring at this house at
any price. This is for Ladies' Tailoring
Exclusively. MRS L. LEWIS,
D. LEWIS, Gutter. Manager.
7oI5 18th Street
Daily camera., 1900-03-30
A Work of Necessity.

A minister Of rural parish in Scot
land observed one OF his flock shooting
a hare on the Sunday. When ca,eehiz-
ing day came round he questioned him
as follows:
John, do you know what a work OF
necessity is?"
Fine that" said John.
We'll, do you think shooting hare
on Sunday work of neEessity?"
ut is that" said John.
How do you make that out?"
"Weel, ye see. il mich be ava on
Monday" was Johns rejily.-Tit-Bits.
Daily camera., 1900-03-30
I'VE suggest to the Denver committed

I'VE suggest to the Denver COMMITTEES
- he Festival of Mountain and Plains,
ce Il seems Denver is unwilling to
acoeeributc enough for the annual holo
canst. that the rural towns, such as Boul-
/ ~. Lonsmont. Greeley and Fort Collins.
naeht be solicited. We're all anxious
sller an opportunity to see the same old
raae sad blow ourselves for Denver's
Pass the hat this way. please.
Daily camera., 1900-03-30
To Batchelors.

For sale complete outfit, 6 gool as new,
it takes few dollars only, no piano nc
installment furniture to pay for. Fine
location close TO mountains, and
good neighbors. Can BE- 6xei up
good enough tor anybody. Four room
house, fruit trees. Can rent the up stairs
for enough TO pay the rent. Addre SIS
P. O. box 83z. before Sunday if you want
such chance. No idle questions an.
sweTed. 3oIs
Daily camera., 1900-03-30
Are You Protected

II not call and see us. We underwrite
for Caledonia. of Scotland. German AL.
lance, Of n Y, Manchester. of England,
Royal Exchange Assurance, Helvetia
Swiss, Northern assurance, N. Y. Plate
Glass, Orient. Hartford, Conn.,. also the
old reliable Continental, of N. Y, for
farm risks. WARREN c. DYER,
Real Estate and Insurance.
Camera Building, Boulder.
Daily camera., 1900-03-30
No Capital |

Mr.. Grumpps-The Ladies' Journal
says woman should make herself as
attractive TO her husband after uar-
riage as she did before
Mrs. GrumPps-Huh, Ny father all
ways gave me plenty OF m4ney to make
myself attractive with. hou don't
n. Y. Weekly.
Daily camera., 1900-03-30
Mntter of Cnltc.

Mildred from Philadelphia)-You
don't seem u ike Evelyn.
Penelope from Bostonl l-She shows
lack of proper culture. This morning
she said she was going to take tramp
up the mountain.
"Well?"
Penelope-Do you not think she
might choose as her escoft one whose
social status is more in keeping with
her own IN. Y. Press.
Daily camera., 1900-03-30

II used Kodol Dyspepsia Cure in my
family with wonderful results. 1t gives
immediate relief, is pleasant to take and
is truly the dyspeptic's best friend" says
E. Hartgerink. Overisel, Mich. Digests
what you eat. Cannot fail - cure. Gil
bert Bros.
Daily camera., 1900-03-30

Mrs Harriet Evans, Hlnsdale, Ill
writes. Il never fail'to relieve my chill
dren from Group a, once by using One
Minute Cough Cure. l would not feel
safe without it," Quickl, cures coughs,
colds, grippe and all throat and lung
diseases. Gilbert Bros.