Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1900-11-08

CRIED OUT FOR THE NOON TO TAKE a DROP
boss of the earth and owner of all the
planets above? Your humble slave as
sures you that the sun, moon and every
star viii hustle to do your bidding"
Thanks, Remshcn. l must be a
daisy for sure. Not being clear on the
subject, I haven't given much atten-
ton to celestial matters, but now I
think I'll give them a whirl. If q feI-
Ter is going to be boss at all, he might
as well be boss on wheels"
THAT is true, 0 akound, and when
you get ready to command the moon to
come of her percl1 will issue proela
nation and gather the people"
Old Remshen was q fawnlng syco-
phant on skates. he had q good thing
and wanted to keep it. He had said
the same fulsome words to his master
a hundred times over, but nothing had
come of it except to make his position
more solid. A day or two after the
above conversation and while he was
going around the palace with molas-
ses grin on his face the bell Jingled,
and he was called into the presence Of
his master.
by the way, Remshen, DO you re-
member our little conversation the 9TH
er day?' querled the akound.
"Can q slave forget his masters
wordsY asked Remshen as he lifted
his hands IN protest.
'Tye been thinking. I'm q heap of a
feller, and you know it, and l know it,
but there may be man or two on the
outside who differs with us. l want to
do something big to knock 'em all out"
''Will it please thee to behead thou
sand men?'
''Well, yes, 1t would, but as it is just
about tax time we'd better leave their
heads on their shoulders until they
have paid in the sugar. think III go
for the moon, Remshen. She'll be full
tonight, and I'll order her to come
down to earth"
"But, O ruler, she might be damaged
in the fall" protested Remshen, begin
ming to quake with fear.
'1'u look out for that. Wen spread
a feather bed for her to light on. Just
issue a proclamation for the people to
gather on the east side of my palace at
10 o'clock tonight"
"The moon, o ruler, is sometimes OBJ
stinate," suggested Remshen as he felt
pain. "She has even been known to
disobey mighty potentates."
"But she'll tumble for me, or I'll
know the reason whyl Is it not in my
title that 1 am owner of all the planets
above? Get along, old boy, and issue
that proclamation. When my subjects
discover that can wallop old Luna
around at will, there'n be no more
kicking about high taxes"
Old Remshen was boxed up and
couldn't say another word. He went
away and issued his proclamation and
then beseeched the grave Of his father,
the bones of his mother and his lucky
stars to send a dark night to knock the
experiment ON the head. He was look
ing bilious when night came and the
old York state cheese arose in all her
glory. Everybody in town was out,
and the odds were five TO one that the
akound would win. At the hour named
nc oppe1ASu oh tHE Sttps VI HIS IEilace
and lifted his hands and cried ont fer
the moon to take q drop. Ii was a
dead failure. He cried out again and
again, but the moon continued her gait.
"Remshen,' said the boss of earth
when he realized that he was knocked
out dismiss the populacc and come
with me-"
The populace went away with their
tongues in their cheeks, and when the