The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-10-13
JObSOn Cleans House

Soo VI coD-
son ont evening recently, run
ming his right index finger over
the top of the frame of one of
the parlor pictures and then flick
ing a lot of imaginary dust from
the finger, "looks like a pig pen.
% you ever do any busting in this
plant? The dust's so thick all over the
establishment that my lungs are al
-caked up. And the whole outfits got a
general rundown. untidy. neglected
look. Of course, l know that your eff
forts to keep up with current fiction
make big inroads upon your spare
time. Nevertheless. | should think
you'd be able to snatch a moment here
and there for the purpose of endeavor-
ing to make your home look less like a
soubrette's rag-time fiat. How about
it?"
THE house was cleaned from top to
bottom this very morning." said Mrs.
Jobson, land if you can find a speck of
dust anywhere"
"Speck of dust anywhere, hey?"
broke in Mr.. Jobson, sarcasticaliy.
I'll wager you the finest box of jujube
paste or gum drops that can be bought
for money, Mrs. Jobson, hat l can col
.iect two hogsheads full of dirt in this
house inside of 20 minutes. The dirt's
everywhere"
Mrs. Jobson didn't vouchsafe any re-
ply to this extraordinary statement.
ITS nearly time for the fall house
cleaning" she said. however. land l in
tended to begin day after tomorrow.
And that reminds me of something.
You were so annoyed over the house
cleaning last fall that you told me to
give you at least two days notice be-
fore beginning to clean house this au-
tumn. so that you could have time to
look over the papers, find out where the
fish were biting the best and go away
for a weeks vacation. If you"
Mr.. Jobson walked over to where
Mrs. Jobson sat and gazed at her curl
ously, as if she were some new and un-
usual pathological specimen
Il said that. did II" he inquired.
skeptically. ITS a wonder you don't
go in for the manufacture of campaign
literature"
But you did say that" insisted
Mrs. Jobson, land you added that you
wouldn't remain around the house
during another fall house cleaning
for a million dollars spot cash.
YOU
"All right" cut in Mr.. Jobson. 81
oD1aI-, .I-&
ployed such an idiotic phrase. But
we'll let it go. This, you will I'M
derstand, is another year. And, as
it is another year, other conditions
prevail. This year I'm going to do
the whole job of house cleaning my
self"
Mrs. Jobson's features contracted
into an expression of alarm.
Surely" she began, you would
not think of doing anything so fool
ish, and getting everything upside
down and in a tangle, and overexert-
ing yourself. and"
That's all right about my getting
things in a tangle and overexerting
myself. Mrs. Jobson," said Mr.. job
son, loftily. 81 don't intend to per-
nit you to pick a quarrel with me
over this matter. AS 1 just an
nounced, 1 am going to undertake the
fall house cleaning job myself this
year. and I'm going to start in at
1t the first thing after breakfast to-
morrow morning.
This house hasn't had a thorough
securing since we've been living in it.
The so-called ho~usecleanings have
been the merest bluffs. Moreover,
the operation usually keeps the house
in a miserable, uncomfortable tur-
moil for q period ranging from a
week to ten days, during which time
YOU rush wildly about from room to
your head, looking like a person suf-
fering from a gunshot wound, and
broom in each hand, and the muck
and dust flying from n piece of
furniture to the other, and the meals
a couple of hours late, and
not fit to eat when they're at length
Now, I'm going about this
housekeeping job in a systematic,
business-like manner I'm going to
take the two days leave coming to
me, beginning tomorrow morning,
and if. at the end of the second day,
his whole outfit, from cellar to gar
ret, isn't looking like a new dollar
fresh from the mint then I'm an