Little Falls herald., 1900-11-23
TOLD OF THE FORCE,

THIEF KIPLEY went into detective
~ headquarters few nights ago to see
how the pitch game was progressing. Call.
ing Detective Sergeant Woodbridge aside he
said:
"Now, IN play your hand, Woodbridge,
and l want you to so down on State street
and round up the pickpockets who are work
ing in the crowds about those calamity
how.ers."
"Pll do it, Chief" said the detective ser.
geant, and thereupon he went out into the
back room to 'make up" Presently ne came
out wearing an old wool hat and faded
suit of ancient garments.
"Well, guess I'll 60 down the line and
take rubber at the tall buildings" he said.
The chief expressed his admiration as no
eazed with pleasure upon his proteges get
np." Much pleased with himself, Wool
bridge crossed the door softly behind him.
Half an hour later Woodbridge came back.
He was somewhat crestfallen and ne wore
the look of man who had spent all day
digging in vain for q. groundhog In dei''
cate way he Informed the chief that ther"
were no pickpockets to be found anywhere
about.
The chief looked him over quizzcally and
noticed that the detectives watch chain
was dangling from buttonhole IN his vest
"What timeNs it, Woodridge:' he asked,
abruptly.
"Wel-l," drawled the investigator as he
reached for his watch pocket, "lt about!
''Yes, | think it is, answered the ch1e1'
*'R-'~ rever mind. Don't go back after 1t.
Some one might steal your shoes"
And Woodbridge said the moral was:
"Never overdo a thing
Unsophsticated and with the bloom. OF
,, innocent youth upon his tace, Jim Hatn'
away came to Chicago from little town IN
! Indiana. He expected, Of course, to make
a record for himself and to 60 home some
; day and be the pride of the village.
One snowy, cold night last winter ne was
on his way down Wabash avenue to MS
! room. when he ran into the muzzles of two
! revo}vers. 1t excited him greatly to be re-
]ieyed unceremoniously of his week wages
and his silver watch-the watch that ia
ther had given him when he took the prlzs
| in spelling.
Tn his turbulent haste to get to the Har-
rison street police sta ton to report his mis-
| fortune he failed to keep his weather eye
out anu was StIuch W q >i"iN S'A ~s
| car.
As is usual in such cases he got little salts
| faction from the police, 80 he sat close up
to the radiator nursing his lame knee ana
! hrooding over his troubles His success
| hadn' been exactly what he anticipated and
the pleasing vision he had pictured OF him.
self Al the pride of the village was growing
DINNER and DINNER every minute. Finally
he was aroused from his revere by a po-
: Ece1nau who came in shaking his overcoat
and stamping loudly on the floor to RID MS
shoes Of snow. -, .,
'Don't stomp 50 hard, my FRIEND" said
J Hathaway, looking up.
, "Why not?" roared the big policeman. ,
because the crust between this place and
; he'll is awfu'ly thin!'
| And the policeman said the moral was:
! ''The advice Of some,is good"
"Jerry" Harrigan is the police sergeant
who does the late watch at the central de-
! tall There is little work, as rule, for the
man on the last watch, and during the last
five years "Jerry" has devoted his idle mo-
ments to the conscientious consideration Of
! psychological and scientific subjects.
!! He does not pose as the learned pig" OF
the department, but he has digested Herbert
, Spencer's First Principles" and ne can
reel off paragraph after paragraph OF MAX
| Nordau's degeneration"
! O'Hoolihan left his beat the other morn
ing and came into the station to report sick.
! He had the tootache and he was making
. terrible ado about it. Jerry. got up from
his desk and walked out into the squadroom
where QHoolihan was holding his head in
his hands and moaning softly. -
/! "Don't take it so hard, O'Hoolihan," said
"Jerry,' consolingiy. Don't you know
! that pain is the greatest blessing mankind
"what?' roared o'Hesiihan, .Eraisht.h'
ing up "Ah, jerry" he added, almost in
wall, as he sank back to his former posi-.
tion, don't kid sick man. It amt right"
'I'm not kidding returned "Jerry;'"
! warming up to his subject. Then he put h1s
foot up on the bench, uplifted one arm and
began thus to deliver himself:
.I tell you pain is our guardian ANGEL"
O'Hoolihan groaned. Jerry continued:
."Pain is our monitor, which shows us
daf&E Ind warns US to struggle against it
or flee from Z. Pain is therefore our best
friend, the preeerver Of our life, tPe source
Of all our in tsfsest enjoyments-!"
"Ah but / am enjoying this!" y.
"Wait minutes tow. Pain, remember,
incites US to effort to e2antefact its causes,
and this effort, understand; is associated
with the highest display Of 6't capabilities,
and it affords US that delight Which always
attends the active expression, OF our indt'
viduality"
"Fer hiven', sake: Are ye wound up tes
eight days or "a hours" :
Listen, will you? Isay. without pain our
life would not last for moment, for We"
**I'm good fer ten years, then! VIII ys
shut up?" -:..,
keep still, can't you! A painless in
tuitive perception Of what is injurious to u,
you see, might not be powerful enough to
spur and arouse us to action and in that
case we might not always respond in sufn-
we would be easily vanquished by the
enemies of or exiEtencef"