West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1900-11-22
THE CAL LAMlTY CAME.
zsb's Wife Knew that Sonnet hing
Would Happen.
The Possnm Hunter Tells How lie Came
TO Have Lively Bear for Red
Fellow and the Result II Had on
Certain Opinions Of His.

s''" 'hS olu l'os>um hunter as asked him
Tor yarn, ''me an the old woman got into
jaw bout eoons. | held TO il tha, all
eoons orter hev bin bob,siled, an abe con.
tended that the Lawd made 'em as he
wanted 'em an did good job. We wasu',
mad at fust, but the mo- we talked the
meaner we felt, an biemby we got down.
right ugly. 1t was Sunday mswnin, an we
was goin off to preachin that day, bu, when
| go, my mad up said
"As long as I'm fur bobtailed coons an
the Lswd didn't make 'cm that way IL amt
no use fur me to hear preachin. I'll stay
home, an ye' kin 20 alone
81 reconed that would cool her OF bi,.
but II didn't. She chawed away at her
bacon fun awhile an then said
"Leb White, thars bound to be a calam.
ity around this cabin. Can't nobody find
fault the way 20 do without suu,hin hap.
PENN. I'm goin right along 10 preachin',
an IT yo' want TO ily in the face of Prov
idenee yo' must take the consequences
''Im eoniendin fur bo,ailcd coons, said
|. III all coons was bobiailed, they'd look
heap purifier AN git along a heap better
"bn, how kin they be when It's all Fixed p
''Dunno. but I'm conieudin.
"Then 20 keep on con,endin an see how
yo'll come out. Thar's bobtailed varmin,s
in the mountains, an mebbe yo'l git 'nuff
OF them beto' yo gi, through abusin Prov
idence.'
'lf she'd coaxed me bit, I'D hev gone
with her. explained Zeb. "but she'd said
all she meant TO. When she go, ready, she
started of through the woods an never even
looked at me. Ny rifle was out of order.
an my old dawg had run away, aud so
conidn't so strollin through the woods.
'ot down ON the doahstep an smoked a pipe
or two, an as 1t was a warm day begun to
feel sleepy. / went over and tumblcd ON
TO the bed, an il wasn't five minits befo' |
was sound asleep. The doah wss left wide
open, an bout the last thing | heard befo'
drapped off was the old mewl brayin in
the stable. Ia bin asleep an hour when
sunthin crowded me over agin the wall, an
woke up. ] opened my eyes to find big
bar on the bed with me. He'd found the
doah open an walked in, an, seein me
asleep, he sot out to hcv some fun. lie
didn u see me open my eyes, an took keer
to shet 'em ag'in arter one look Bef the
Lawd, but was skcered ! | felt the cold
chills creepin up and down my back, an the
sweat busted out ON me as IL was chopin
at big tree.
al had found fau, with the Lawd fur
not maxim bobtailed coons," continued The
old man as he reilled his pipe, can a bob
tailed bar had been sent in revenge. II
wasn't no use 10 think of jumpin no or
hghtin him. lie had all the advantage, an
II | made him mad he'd finish ne ND In a
mint. My game was to play possum on
him, but hope shall never hev sich an.
other Two hours while | live. That bar
wanted good time. lie was feelin good
natured, an he jest tried all sorts OF circus
tricks with me. He'd roll me over sg'tn
the wall with bang, an then arter a
chnckle he'd roll me back with flop. lie
didn't bite AZ all, but every time he put his
claws on to me they wen, through the cloth.
believe that yarmini turned me over 20
times befo' he got little tired of il. was
piayin dead all the time an didn't know
what mint he'd git mad an set out to finish
me. lie finally got thirsty an jumped off
The bed an went to the water pail on the
bench an Tapped away fur ten minits. I
had my eyes open all the time an was
anxious to git sway, but | was afeared Of
him. ] couldn't fight him barehandcd an
stand any show.
81 jest laid thar till the varmint had
qucnehed his thirst an looked around, an
then he come back agIn. The circus was
only half over lie was so rough at times
that almost yelled out with the pain, an
between the clawin an the skeer wasn't
much better than dead man. The mewl
smeli of bar an kept up tremendous
brsyin, an the old woman heard The noise
when she was yit mile away. Bimeby,
when the varnint had had show worth the
price Of admission, he settled down for a
rest. was then lyin with my face to the
wall, an he planted all four feet ae'in nv
back and kept up sori Of pufnn. lie had
me crowded sgi'n the cabin logs till could |
hardly breathe, an I had made up my mind |
that I'D never tree smother coon when the |
old women got back from preschin. The |
old mewl was kickin an bfayin, an she seen |
the tracks Of the bs'r leadin into the cabin. |
She stood IN the doah and got sight of the
varmnt on the bed, an she did a thing /
which no nan on these yerc Cumberland /
mountains would hev attempted. Thar was
no gun at hand to shoot with, an her only
show was to take that bar by surprise. 1
That's what she did She fiptoed no 10
the bed and fastened her fingers in his fur.
an, though b. was a hefty losd. she carried
him TO the doah an dumped him out. /
never knowed she was home diIshe pulled
the bar away. As dz up the as,onished
varmint was maxim fut the woods, while the
old woman hadn't even turned pale.
''wss--wss IL b'sf2 asked as she
took N her sunbonoe, an began to ol,uer
the stove.
"Of co'se,' she keerlersly replied
"An what did 20 do with him ?
jest dumped him outdoabs. Pears 70
me yo've bin hevin hssps Of fun. Mos, of
yof clothes hev bin clswsd of. the bed
quilts ehs~ed to rags. an 20 ar blood from
head to heel. Mebbe yo' was iesfnin tha,
bar Ia Of tricks
IL tried to set out Of bed to hug her an
pfsise her spunk," explained Zeb TO me,
''bui was so weak that fell down. She
never lei on to mind me, an had 70 help