Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1900-06-19
HOMEMAKERS COLUMN.

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THE DUTY OF FINDING HAPPINESS
George Eliot, In letter to Mrs. Bray
writes, ~ am more and more impressed
with the duty of fading happiness"
We are oil occupied In looking FOL
happiness; the duty Of finding Il seems
TO occur to but few. Indeed, most Of
rs would be astonished TO learn tina,
duty and happiness bore any but the
SUNDAY School relation to each other,
the "be-good-and- you'll-be-hsppy" re-
lation which We are taught In our cradles
and begin TO disbelieve a. soon ~ we
receive our first lessons In worldly wis.
dom at school, when Tom whispers te
Dick, and Dick gets punished for the
offense.
Happiness we regard a. q wild bird
OF rare plumage. 10 the early morning
OF our life 1t fits around rs through
leafy bowers, never quite caught
though now and then we fancy we have
grssped the gorgeous thing for one mo.
ment, and we mean to hold Il tight, and
then-whirr 60 the wingh, and again
II Is fitting just beyond our reach, bu,
ever In our sight.
In age we see II, too, lowering always
before Us, but with soberer hues. We
look into the past and know that We
had It many times within our grasp, bu,
were too slow to seize II, or too dull Ia
| see It.. We look into the future, and
behold IL futtering over the heads OF
our children--who are blind, as We
were. We catch dim outlines OF Il,
faint and mysterious, beyond the deer
river, where we may not pass-yet.
But happiness Ia duty" tame
bsrnysrd fowl, that we should keep
ever at our door, and feed each day, and
teach to come at our whistle.
why" we say, "who can harness
Pegasus to the pillow, or act Cupid 10
tending the bsbyr Happiness Is rare,
very rare; we cannot expect to have II
In this workaday world and we
make great virtue OF being cheerful
and accomplishing.
OF course one can't be happy with the
toothsche; neither IL grief, real and
bitter grief, to be desired. But It Is
wonderful, when en- stops to think OF
Ii, how much happiness, real happiness,
cen be controlled; how Il could be sum-
moned and hidden to stay many times
when we LET II drift away.
In these days when everything Il re-
duced to a science, scientists have re-
duced happiness TO science also. Not
merely the science Of a healthy body,
which VIII naturally produce a healthy,
and so happy, mind, but science OF
props CATION, the sowing Of mental germs
which one may cultivate and multiply
to the exclusion Of opposing germs. II
we are habitually happy, the brain cells
which are active under that condition
grow strong and increase, and the longer
we maintain that attitude OF mind the
more the happy brain cells enlarge, and
the easier IL Is TO be happy In future.
This Ia not scientifically stated, but Il IL
the gist Of the matter put In everyday
words. The brain, like everything else.
responds to cultivation, and by sowing
the proper seed, nourishing II, and pro-
tecting 1t from adverse conditions, We
may raise almost any crop we like-joy
or sorrow, vice or virtue, knowledge or
ignorance.
We have long known that virtue and
knowledge must be cultivated, in order
TO weed out vice and ignorance; but II
Is n comparatively new thought that We
may plant laughter or tears, and reap
accordingly. Yet II we may teach q
child to be unselhsh, not Jealous
msny other things-why not to be
merry?
IL often seems as II busy mothers,
tired mentally and physically by the
endless demands made upon them,
found II sill they could manage TO cling
20 the garments OF weary Patience,
bidding her not desert them, while her
sister Joy is forgotten and turns away.
Yet children are essentially joyous be-
ings; they are born with fountain
Of happiness. ever bubbling and over
flowing In their natures; and surely
what has been so plentifully bestowed
In the first place might be cared for and
kept. One Of the chief requisites In q
nurse should be a cheerful, merry dis.
position. Yet how many poor little
youuglings pass years OF their child
hood under the shadow thrown by some
stern, fretful, or impatient nurse, who
perhaps means to be kind, is not act
lively unkind, yet never, from weeks
end TO weeks end, feels an impulse TO
play or TO frolic.
And the tired mothers. The day be-
gins with q rush; breakfast, school,
dinner, must NIL be accomplished at
certain hours; meantime the babies re-
quire thousand things done for them
baths, bottles, stitches and steriliz-
ing-one cannot catalogue the occupa-
lions that crowd each day. II she is Il
good and loving mother, she probably
finds n quiet hslf-hour somewhere to
read and talk with the older ones, TO
cuddle and kiss the tots; but II Is a
tired, subdued hour at the end OF the
day; restful, not enlivening.
The children learn that when they
want to shave fun" they must seek
other boys and girls out Of doors. Home
Ia place that IL good when one is Ill or
tired, but chiefly for being fed, clothed,
and improved 10. There Is not time or
strength left TO be merry.
And so In the home the happy brain
cells remain uncultivsted. Those with
which the children were born gradually
become worn and wasted, they are not
replaced, and the children settle down
into the same sort OF people their
mothers and fathers were before them ;
grave, tranquil. peevish, patient, fret
full, contented, as the case may be-but
few joyous or really hsppy. Cheerful
ness Is the most they hope for.
And we older ones, whose cells Of joy
have not been cultivated either, what
can we do about itg How help our
selves and the children? II is sad
world In many ways; sadder as we
grow older and bear not only our own
burdens, but the burdens also OF those
we love, or those we pity. Yet there is
still the "duty OF finding happiness"
IL is duty after all. There Is so much
out of which we might make happiness,
II we only realized It In time, and then
there are all these little ones. who must
be taught to be happy as well IS to be
good.
The faculty Of always looking upon
the bright side Of life, Of enjoying the
little things, OF getting happiness from
the morning sunshine and tranquility
from the soft-falling rain, that has not
been taught Us, we may teach our chill
dren. Ii Is wonderful to see what an
instantaneous echo fretful tone will
command, as we'll as how merry quip
will bring smiles and sunshine ut once
into the nursery. Our children, faithful
as mirrors, reflect ourselves. By and
by We may fluid that the reflection has