davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31
A Gentle Hint.

George" said Mrs. Ferguson, as they
went to dinner, Il wish you would tell
Benny, in some way so it Will not offend
him, that he takes too much sugar in his
coffee. 1t ISM! good for him and / know
his mother wouldn't allow it,
Benny" said Mr.. Ferguson, a few
minutes later, turning to the young neph-
CIV who was visiting him, you don't mix
quite enough coffee with your sugar.
Chicago TIL une
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31
Best for the Bowels.

No matter what ails you. eadache to
a cancer. you will never get we'll until
your bowels are put right. CASCA-
REFS help nature, cure you without a
grippe o. pain. produce easy natural move
ments. cost you just 10 cents to start get
ting your health back. CASCARETS
Candy Cathartic. the genuine. put up in
metal boxes. every tablet has G.. G. c..
stamped or it. Beware of limitations.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31
SPINNING WHEEL.
THE MAN BENEATH THE BED.

THE MAN BENEATH THE BED.
What cosmic whim has fathcred him
Or made his tribe exist.
Cannot he tod by Scion old
Or learned ethnologist;
He seems a dream, yet myriaGs deem
Him to life's vigor bred,
And by the score are looking for
The man beneath the bed.
InQuiring mind Of womankinG
Industrious search doth wage
Night after night to bring to light
This rumored parsonage,
And though with will they're hunting stll!,
Their efforts have but led
To hope uncrowned: they've never tCunu
The man beneath the bed.
This is a time when acts sublime
Are due to sex of Eve
And who shall say, in coming day
What deed they may achieve?
Will one Of her. to Christopher
Columbus genius wed,
Win need of zeal, and yet reveal
The man beneath the bed:
Boston Co-rier.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31
Giraffe Skins.

a good giraffe skin is worth from $40
to $50 in South Africa today, and much
more in Europe. On their hunting
trips 10 Or Is years ago it was a common
matter for one hunter to kill 40 or 80
giraffes in one day.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

vicar. But Of course fresh bans must
be published. Ak \ pause. Mr..
s., paid ZEE half crown for putting
up those bans. Shall l have to pay an
other half CROWN" NATURALLY. If you
change your mind so late in the day you
must expect to pay for it." All" A
long pause. Then, with sudden resoU-
ton, LAW, well-leave en- be as 'tis!'
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

An Egyptian contemporary says:
Oar whole island is now girdled with
golf courses. All the world is no longer
stage. but golf links"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

piso's Cure cannot be TOO highly spok-
cn of as cough cure.-J. w. OBrien,
800 Third Ave-, n. Minneapolis, MIMI.
Jan G. 1900
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

4 lady went into a pastrycook's shop
the other day. On the counter were dis
played all sorts Of toothsome dainties.
The only attendant was little girl
about 10 years OF age.
Isn't it q great temptation to you, my
dear?' asked the lady, ''to see all these
nice things? You must always be want
ing to eat them
"Oh no. ma'am,' was the answer:
cit is enough for me to see them made
illustrated Bits.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

During the present century 400
human lives, S125.00O0O0 and 200 ships
have been lost in fruitless efforts to find
the North pole.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31
HailStOnes.

Hailstones begin their fall as drops OF
rain. These get frozen into ice by cross
ing cold current Of air on their way
down
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Carriers Ink is just as cheap as poor
ink and is the best ink made. Always
use Cortpr'S
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Lambeth palace, in England, con
ta;ns examples of every style OF archi
lecture since ITO.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

The date palm has been successfully
introduced in Australia.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

rlTC Permanently Cured. No fits nervousness after
III first days OF DIR. klnie's Great Nerve Re
for r Il ZEE 81 90 trial bottle and treatise.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Sir Henry Howorth, a British NJ P,
is writer Of note in his own country
and a great student. His History Of
Mongols" took many years Of steady and
arduous inquiry. And thereby hangs a
tale which, it is said, he has often told
against himself.
One evening when taking in to dinner
a lady who had been lightly primed as
to his great subject, there was a strange
conversation. L understand. Sir Henry,
that you are fond Of dogs; so am |!
Dogs, madam? | really must plead
guiltless know nothing at all of them -
Indeed. And they told me you mad
written a famous history of Mongrels!'
Askit-'Is Loafer lazy man, TelGt
Lazy? Why, he has killed so much
time he is ashamed to look clock in the
face. Baltimore American.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Wi,ton-"Do you know. In II guam
cary"
Tilton-"Well. what is it:''
Wilton-"Dr. Bloss gave me some stuff
fo.. my appetite. and it was so effectual
that il cost me nearly twice as much %
i've as before. What puzzles ME IS
whether | ought to pay the doctor or he
ought to pay me something. boston
Transcript.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Many Chinese use their hollow idols
as savings banks.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Unsatisfactory from the Start-"Well,
what about the new neighbors:" On,
Edgar, it was the meanest moving in |
ever saw. Everything was boxed and
barreled up SO l couldn't see thing they
Free Press
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Fishers FIayoring Extracts are Endorsed
by pure fool la and the u. S. government for their
PUnIrY and STRENGTH, A. j. Hilbert Co.. Mw
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31
A OIERY.

A bibulous fellow named Nat,
Who was just getting over bat,
Viewed his busted chapeau,
Crying: I'D like to kneau
Who it was threw the brick a tho h0.''
Philadelphia Record.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31
Beware of Ointments for Catarrh
that Contain Mercury

A man working a 14-inch radius
crank, S hours day, whose wage is 20
cents per day, can produce horsepower
hour at a cost of So cents.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Two well-dressed gentlemen visitin g
London strolled in the vicinity OF d hand
some new structure.
Nv onder what this is?' queried one,
casting his eye about for cornerstone.
'.Ah. there is an inscription Oh the wall.
Latin-funny place to put it. Post No
bills Let's see. I've forgotten most OF
my Latin. What do you make out of it:''
The other adjusted his eyeglasses,
critically surveyed the inscription and
returned:
but 'nobils' gets away with me. Nobils,
nobils-no. I'll have to give It up. Let's
inquire next door"
Thereupon they sought out the intel
igent custodian of the building, and put
their question.
What does that there inscription
mean?' the man repeated after them in Il
plying tone. ct means just exactly
what it says, and 40s fine into the bar
gain if You go posting any bills about this
place."-Tit-Bits.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

At the Christian alliance and mission
airy meeting in New York Sunday: "A
lady gives herself and property" said
the reader: If it's the woman / think
it is remarked Rev. Mr.. Simpson.
she's worth a good deal more than her
property Now, asks John Smith, was
Mr. Simpson sarcastic or merely compli-
mentary?
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

A wag seeing a door nearly off its
hinges, in which condition it had been
for some time observed that when it
had fallen and killed someone it would
probably be hung.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

The Hamburg American line has
awarded a contract for a steamer 75G
feet long to a Belfast firm.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Mamma-"Ethel, must really forbid
you touching that lobster-you know it
does not agree with you" Ethel {resign-
edly-"Very We'll mamma, but it does
seem as if everything in this world that
Life
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

California stands fifth among the
states as an oil-proGucer.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Standing on the banks Of the Potomac
Lord Colerdige one day asked William
NJ. Evarts: rs it true that Washin",on
threw a silver dollar across the PotC-
Eac?' 1T is quite possible replied M
Evarts, thoughtfully, for a dollar in
those days, my lord, went farther than il
does now. But, indeed. Washington cid
better than that-he threw sovereign
across the Atlantic''
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Dyeing is as simple as washing when
you use PUTNAM FADELESS DYES.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

A rubber tree feet in diameter
yields twenty gallons of sap, making for
ty pounds of dried rubber.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Some instances Of unconscious humor
are given in the new number of the
Leisure Hour. Here is one Of them
The bans between two parishioners had
been published for the first time ii q
country church. After the service the
prospective groom come to the vicar:
Mr.. s., | want to speak to ee
About those bans-can I have EN-
changed?" "Of course, if you wish, ;"
was the surprised reply. You are not
married yet, or legally bound in any
way 'sAh!''-with a sign of relief
that's what I wanted to know. You
see, I've been thinking it over: and. seem
ing to me, I'd rather have her sister"
'You can please yourself replied the
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

TO CURE COLD IN ONE DAY
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Al
druggists refund the money if it fails 10 cure
T. w. Groves SIGNATURE is on each box. IS.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Friend-"How does il come. Pushing
ton, that you, who have so frequently de-
nounced monopolies and combinations,
have sold your factory TO the trust?''
cred that the best place 20 fight the octo-
pus is from the inside''-Life
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

The Squire (sympathetically) Tim
very sorry to hear that your husband is
at the point of death, Mrs. Hodge, but
you must try and be cheerful, as you
know it will be all for the best
Mrs. Hodge-'Ah. yes, indeed, sir;
it'll be a blessing when he's gone. I'll
be able to live in comfort then, as I ave
i'm in four different clubs. JUDI.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

II thought you were working on
Krank's new house, said the house
painters friend
Il was going to- replied the house
painter, $ but I had a quarrel with him,
and he said he'd put the paint on him
SELL
And did he do it?''
Yes, that is where he put most Of IT.
Answers.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31
GERMAN TURF AS FUEL.
It's Utility Now Being Considered on
Account of Dear Coal,

At the present price of coal the use of
turf as fuel in Germany commands spe-
cjaI attention. Hitherto all attempts TO
use turf as fuel and for the production
of gas on large scale have failed, for
the reason that no means existed TO DRY
it cheaply and quickly, nor could it be
pressed into small volume. Turf con-
tains about 70 per cent. of water, of
which it loses very little in ordinary
drying" 1t Is now proposed to reduce
the turf to pulp and destroy the Eber, at
ter which the mass is easily dried, get
lent charcoal. There is no reason why
this turf coal should not be used for cleo
trio stoves and in the manufacture of
carbide of calcium.
In dstilling the turf COAL paraffin, am
monias and a strong Illuminating gas are
tives a heat equal to that Of 1926 per
cent. of the best coal has been attained,
while il shows only 2.62 per cent of
ashes, thus being equal in purity to high
grade Derbyshire coal. The cost of con
verting turf into coal has been calculat-
ed at 81 cents per ton.-Consul Hughes.
Beware of Ointments for Catarrh
that Contain Mercury,
as mercury will surely destroy the sense of
smell and completely derange the whole
system when entering it through the mu-
be used except on prescriptions from repu-
table physicians, as the damage they will
90 is tenfold to the good you can possibly
derive from them. Hairs Catarrh Cure,
manufactured by F. J. Cheney IL Co., To
iedo, O.. contains no mercury, and is taken
internally, acting directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system IN
buying Hairs Catarrh Cure be sure you get
the genuine. 1t is taken Internally, and
made in Toledo. Ohio, by F. j. Cheney 4
Co. Testimonials free
Sold by druggists, price 75c per bottle.
"A man working 14-inch radius
crank, S hours day, whose wage is 20
cents per day, can produce horsepower
hour at cost of So cents.
The Hamburg-American line has
awarded a contract for a steamer 80
feet long to a Belfast firm.
A rubber tree 4 feet in diameter
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Mr. andMrs OF
ickly child
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31
Boss-'Pat. have you watch %

Boss-.'Pat, have you watch?'
Pat-"Nlver a wan, SCR, and phwat
would l do wild il?
g BOSWELL, / want you to report at
the office at half-past II. But, anyway,
the bells ring at noon. and you can come
half an hour before. -Fliegende Blaet-
ter.
He Understood His Business-First
Beggar-'Why didn't you tackle that
lady? She might have given you some
thing Second Beggar-'.I let her so
because [ understand my business better
than you. [ never ask a woman for any
thing when she is alone; but when two
women are together, you can get money
from both, because each one is afraid the
other will think her stingy if she refuses
This profession has to be studied. Just
like any other, if you expect to make
success Of it, see.-Harlem Life
It was after dinner at the house Of a
man whose hospitality was greater than
his resources, and a guest, who had been
asked for the first time, approached an
other who was not such q stranger
Can you tell me-, he inquired. ''it
there is place close by where one can
get something to eat when one has dined
here ?"-Illus1rated Bits.
At the Christian alliance and mission
airy meeting in New York Sunday: "A
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31


At small seaport town star actress
of the third magnitude appeared as Ju-
let.
4 cannot do justice to myself. she
said to the manager, IF l do not nave Il
liMelight thrown on me when i appeal
at the balcony.
I'VE amt got no limelight miss, but
I think we could get you a SHIPS blue
light" replied the obliging manager, and
10 this the lady agreed.
The lad who went to the shop to buy
the bluelight brought back a signal rock
ct, which was given to him by mistake.
The prompter took the rocket in good
faith.
Roemeo-"He. jests at scars who never
feels a wound
Juliet appears Prompte- lights a
match.)
But. soft. What light through yon-
der window breaks?"
This was the match lighting the fuse
Arise, fair SUM-
The sun, or rather, the rocket. did rise
with terrific hiss. Juliet was knocked
off the balcony, the fly borders We're set
sulphurous smoke. while the audience,
which was fortunately a small one, made
a stampede to the doors.
Since then Romeo and Juliet has al
ways been looked upon in that town as q
dramatic work that could not re wit
messed without personal danger.-New
World.
Little Charlie Cat supperl-"Grandnls
60 your glasses make things look big
ger?''
Grandma-''Yes, dearie. Why"
Charlie-"Oh, l only thought if they
did, maybe you'd take 'em off while
you re cutting the cake. '-Polichinelle.
Football is my game" remarked the
gridiron
'Hoot, It isn't in it with the golf, )"
answered the tea caddy.
Baseball for me- retorted the pitcher
"Prize-fghtings mine said the mug.
Cards for me- suggested the poker.
Me, too said the coffee-pot and the
cooks kitten in chorus.
"Pshaw. Yachting's the only re-
marked the gravy boat.
Target practice for me- replied the
range.
Curling" whispered the upstairs
maids tongs.
Ladies' said the potato masher.
Hunting" limited the pcacher.
Booze" hiccoughed the water tank
New York Commercial Advertiser.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Barber-"Shall l take little OF the
ends OF your hair eff. sir?' Customer
Yes: l think you had better take it off
at the ends. unless you can get it out Of
the middle GLASGOW Evening Times.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Tenant-'I think, sir, something
ought to be done to my cellar. It's con
stantly full of water
Landlord-"At $40 rent would YOU OK
pet it to be full OF champagne: -
Ic;tere Welt.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

Wife-"How would you like it if l
spent nearly every evening in the week
at meeting of some secret society,"
Husband-"It couldn't be secret socie-
". Elsa, if you belonged 10 it.''-Carica-
Turol.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

As the close of a performance given as
a benefit to John Brougham. the actor
and dramatist. one of the audience threw
upon the stage a purse Of gold. Brough.
am picked it up, and. after examining it.
said: Ladies and gentlemen. circum-
stances compel me to pocket the Insult:
but docking GRIM Il should like to see
the man who would dare to repeat it.''
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

RsNzE.. WHEN WRITING TO ADVERTISERS
@O@ please say you saw the Advertisement
in this paper.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-10-31

manl-''Pair Of gloves?'' Cabman-
Yes, miss Lady Assistant-"What
is your NUMBER" abman-"Fifteen
hundred and n;nety-three, miss'-Tit-
Bits.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1900-04-28
Vice Consulate
DE LA REPUBLICA DOMINICANA EN- PONCE

AVGSO q los Captta1aes de 6atQWeS y q
cata4atOS patedG l1atereSdr.;
Con ell prop6sito de propender adn
mas favorecer la corriente inmigra.
toria a la Republica dominicana, ell
Gobierno ha resuelto 10 siguiente:
IL. Librar de los derechOs de puer-
to a los buques afectados a conducir
inmigrantes.
Para clio Sc necesita hacer pr6via
declaration en- este Vice ConsuIado.
90. Los inmigrantes deben ser en-
realidad gentes entendidas en- las la.
bores de la vida rural y habitantes de
eStd iSL0.
%. Deben estar provistos, cada uno,
de un certificado favorable, U5t0 ct
nnor5betS, y de hygiene personal.
Mediante este certificaeo Sc expe,
dira pasaporte g1'0tuttO por este Vice
COnsuladO.
Ponce, 81 de AbriI 1900.
JULIAN DE LA RoCHA.
Vice Consul
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1900-04-28

...rdo Al veoindario en- ese dfa entire
Il... - tods clase de iiversiones.
N General Davis dara el 80 del que
IS uns reception en- Ell palacio de la
Tapitsuia General.
n Battalion de Infanterfa puertorri-
.,aTo hara los honores al Gobernador
EyiI habi6ndose dado ordeneS para que
: enouentren en- esta ciudad suS fuerzas.
0s todas estas festss sera gran Mars.
,b,ll. Mr.. Buchanan.
FI Avuntamiento de San Juan dis
me tambi6n festas en- obse4uie del
Eobsrnador Civil.
Ia prensa de Ponce tendrh I'm repre-
,.ntante Official eL las ceremonias del
10 de Mayo.
Tales son las primeras impresiones
-,s tenemos de los preparativos que Sc
5isponen en- San Juan para festejar la
.s,tslaci6n del regimen civil.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1900-04-28
Ell OBISPO EN- YAUCO

FL Martes por la tarde hizo su entra
4, On este pueblo ell Reverendo Padre
Blepk. nuevo Obispo de esta Diocesis,
,sompshado del estimable sacerdote
r1ertorriqueilo padre Berries, del padre
Iopsz, del Vioario y Parroco de Pom
"a : Guayanilla respectiVsmente.
i invitaeion de nuestro querido Pa
rroeo el Padre Pieretti, numerosas per-
,o1ss fuerou recibirle a la estacion
5sl ferrocsrril, aoomps7iandole luego 4
"A IgIesia despu6s d la casa de don
Lpess Golirella, guien obsequio con es-
plendidez los ilustres huespedes.
Por la noche Ell padre Blenk dirigio
On Ell temple su palabra los muchos
sopcurrentes que alll le esperaban; Y,
.11oue. oon la difcultad propio del que
no posee bien IN idioma, logro intere.
,sr a los oyentes.
FL Microbes por la msfiana dijo misa
en- Is capilla del hospital, y distribuyo
Il communion, recIbiendo mas tarde en-
,u casa hospedsje variss seforas y Sc
6oritas que forman parte de la Junta de
Bsnefcencia de este pueblo.
EI Obispo quedo tristemente impre-
,ionsdo de Ia espantosa miseria que rel
ns en- esta localidad, distribuyo aigunas
lmosnss 8 los pobres, y telegraio al
Gobernador dindole cuenta de la desc
lsci6n de ests comarca.
A la una de la tsrde salio en- coche
para Guayanilla, desde donde siguiS
1isje para Ponce. Sc nos dice que que
as muy satisfecho del recibimiento que
&C le hizo.
III CO7TespOnsGL.
Ysuco, Abril 81 de 1900.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1900-04-28
CREDITO Y AHORRO PONCENO

Los seflores n. Canals y Co de ia
yuya, han dado aviso esta Seeretarfa,
de habGrseles extraviado ell tftulo de su
acci6n no 1919, y solicitan un duplicado.
Sc hace publico ell extravio, los
efectos del artfculo "A de los Estatutos
de la Sociedad.
Ponce, Abril 25 de 1900. Ell Score
tario, j. O. PdsdreU. l. N. alt
En- ell dep6sito municipal de Guaya-
nllla han ingresado clnco potrancas
como de a 6 cuartas de alzada, y un
potro pequeno que segdn Sc dice, lie
fueron extraviados IN negociante de
ganado que en- union de otros animales
las hacfa ccnducir de transito por aquel
pueblo en- la presente semana. 2-3.
Ayiso hoy por iniciales los seno-
res G. que vive en- Guayaniilla y
a L S. que vive en- Adjuntas, que Isl
dentro de ounce dias no me satifacen,
10 que me adeudan, publicare sus
nombres en- estas columns, hacienda
constar Ell origen de la deuda.
Adjuntas, Abril 27 1900.
2 3 GractG Michel.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1900-04-28
NOTICHAS

In una gsoetilla publicada aver, re-
ferente a Ia causa, euyo juicio oral Sc
reanudara en- la proxima semana, Sc CO.
meti6 ell error de comprender entire los
acusados d don Lito Cardona, que ma
ds tiene que yer en- este proceso.
Hacemos ests aclaracion para salts
facci6n de- citado amigo.
Eu Arecibo Sc preparan para celebrar
Is traditional fiesta de San Felipe.
Que Sc diviertan.
Con rumbo s Washington ha embar-
cado en- la Habana ell marques de Apez-
teguis, natural de Cuba, para hacer
presente al ministro de Espafia en- aque-
lis ciudad, su deseo de continuar con
ssrysndo su nacionalidad espanola.