The Irish standard., 1900-03-31
SOME WITTY REJOINDERS
From English, Irish, Scotch and French
Celebrities.

The following retort is recorded OF
MIR. Maurice Barrymore. Once at the
Hoffman House bar, New York, an
English stranger interfered with the
conversation of a knot of friends by a
long TRADE against all things Ameri-
can. He finished by an attack on our
spelling.
"Why, you can't even spell correctly
in this COMPOUNDED country. Honour,
h-o-n-o-r; labour, l-a-b-o-r. What do
you think of that, Barry?"
WELL replied Barrymore, slowly
and distinctly, cas- far as I should Judge,
where honor and labor are concerned,
U would never enter into the question. +"
1t is said that when Thelwall was on
trial Tor high treason, during the evil
dence for the prosecution, lie wrote the
following note and sent it to his coun-
sci:
Mr. Erskine, l am determined to
plead my cause myself" Mr.. Erskine
wrote under it, "Ii you do you'll be
hanged. " "Tl,en," was Thelwalls inn
mediate reply, GIL be hanged if I do
There is celebrated reply of Mr..
Curran to a remark OF Lord Clare, who
CURLY exclaimed at one of his legal po-
sitions, cob! if that be the law, Mr..
Curran, may burn my law books"
Better read them, my lord" was the
sarcastic and appropriate rejoinder.
Dean Jackson, passing one morning
through the quadrangle, met some I'm
dergraduatcs who walked along without
removing their caps. The dean called
one Of them and Asked
do you know who am?"
mo, sir.
GLOW long have you been in COL
'egc?'
Eight days, sir"
cob, very WE'LL" said the dean, pup
Dies don't open their eyes till the ninth
lay"
Herbert Spencer on one occasion had
little argument in which he got de-
cdedly worsted. One day a small boy
happened to be in the company of the
philosopher when number of crows
flew BY "What an awful lot of crowsp
exclaimed the juvenile. The express
sion did not please the great writer. II
have yet to learn, little MASTER" said he,
severely, chat there is anything to in
spire awe i'll few crows"
Gail right, old man. was the pert re-
ply. 81 did not say lot of awful
crows-I said all awful lot OF crows"
A dissipated and unmannerly noble
man, presuming upon his mobility,
once asked Sir Walter Scott, who sat
opposite him at dinner, what the diff
ference was between Scott and sot
"Just the breadth OF the table," retorted
Sir Walter.
The politeness OF Charles II. was re-
markable, and he could convey re-
buke in the style OF a wit and gentle
man. When William Penn stood be.
fore him with his hat on, the king put
off his. "Friend Charles" said Penn
"why dost thou not keep on thy hat?'
1T is the custom OF this place." replied
the monarch, "that only one person
should be covered at time"
Charles XII, King of Sweden, wa:
once riding near Leipsic when peas
ant came and knelt before him to re-
quest justice from grenadier who hae
carried away his family's dinner. TIL,
king ordered the soldier to appear.
els it true" said he, with a sterr
countenance, "that you have robbed
this MANI"
"Sire," said the soldier, II have no
done so much injustice as your majest.
has done his master. You have take,
from him kingdom, and I have takel
only turkey from this fellow"
The king gave the peasant ten ducats
and pardoned the soldier for the bold
ness OF his witty retort, saying to him