The Worthington advance., 1900-09-28

ter father Of that turtle. Tn going TO
get up grand turtle handicap, open to
all Pike county turtles Of good reputa-
tion. That will increase my fame,.and,
If any benighted owners Of svagrant,
unframed turtles are looking for bets
they will be accommodated ~, I.
":You've made good thing Of It, al
ready warned him, and now is the
time to stop. Even a turtle tkatadopts
q joyous gauop as it, means Of travel
may go up against the real thing. It's
the pitcher that goes too often to the
well and the owner of sure things in
racing that get broken -
"But Eben wouldn't listen, and kept
booming up his turtle handicap scheme
until nearly every one of the boys had
. turtle entered. The committee in
charge of the race Handicapped Eben's
turtle back nearly half the distance of
the course, but Eben didn't seem to
care and kept plunging until he
brought the odds on his turtle down
from three to one to less than even
money.
"The day Of the race Squire Rogers,
who had been growing more and more
suspicious of Eben's galloping turtle.
managed. to get Eben in the tavern, and
filled him up with Pike county APPLE
jack. Eben had been toting his pre-
cious turtle about in a basket all day,
but, growing careless under the seduc-
tive influence Of applejack, he put the
turtle on the bar and let the squire
have a chance to examine it carefully.
The squire came out of the tavern fair
~ boiling with indignation.
"'No wonder that turtle gallops
when he's put on the ground Squire
Rogers sputtered wrathfully. That's
a regular electric automobile turtle.
Eben Brown has tucked tiny storage
battery under the back part of that
poor abused turtles shell. When he
puts the innocent creature on the
ground the circuit is complete, and,
tortured. by the electric current, the
poor animal has to gallop. 1t'scruelty
to animals and an outrage on unsus-
pecting men who thought they had an
easy thing betting against fat land
TURTLE
"Then an idea seemed to strike the
squire.
"'Seeing that abused turtle is used
to electric racing he sort of mur-
INJURED to himself, maybe it would be
cruel to take that battery out alto
gether, but it must be monotonous
for the poor creature to have it in
the same place all the time. I will
just tuck that little battery in un-
der the front part of his shell. That's
the least humane man can do to aid
a poor, dumb animal which has un-
doubted gifts in the sprinting line.'
$50, while Eben's attention was dis
tracted, Squire Rogers managed to
take out the little battery from the
back of the turtle and slip it under
the shell near his neck.
"At last the time came for the race.
All the other turtles were on the
ground, but Eben held his carefully
in his hand until the word was given
to start. Then Eben put the fat,
lazy-looking turtle on the ground and
watched to see it gallon,
"And that turtle did gallop. But it
was backward sort of gallop, as
if the animal was tryifE to get away
from itself. Eben, of course, didn't
understand that his pet was trying to
back away from the electric current,
which was getting in its work under
the turtles neck.
"'I've heard Of alternate currents,
said Eben, amazed like, as his turtle
backed out of sight in the bushes to
the rear of the handicap course, but
this il the first time I ever really
saw electricity working backwards.
The wonders of science are past find
ing OUT And Eben shook his head
like a man who has made great. sci.
entific discovery.
"Just then Eben saw Squire Rogers
doubled up with ribald laughter
Then Eben understood what had hap.
pened to his galloping turtle. For
church member and man who had
been professor of religion two score
and ten years, Eben's language was
fluent and shocking. But Squire Rog'
ers took 1t calmly.
"'I never dreamed such respected
} man as Eben Brown put that battery
in SO as to win a race unfairly re.
piled the squire. knowing you for g
kind-hearted person, thought you
would be pleased at my endeavor tc
make life less monotonous for that
big turtle. And judging from the
efforts he was making to trot back
wards as he disappeared in thu
bushes, my humane attempt to in
troduce variety into his life was meet
ing with unqualified success "-Bos
ton Globe.
MARK TWAIN, CAMPAIGNER