Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1900-10-22
A POLITICAL DIALOGUE.
HANNA AND A WORhINGMAn ~
THE EFFECT OF THE
ELECTION.
PERTINENT QUESTIONS ASKED.
What VIII Happen IL Bryan Wihs'
According to Hanna-The WorA
fnEman's RetOrt.

W,oijlRkINGMAN-Mr. Hanna. have
come to you for advice. There are all
sorts OF terrible things predicted IL
BRYAN is elected, and | want to know
what you think about 1t. You love the
workingman so much that | feel ] can
rely on what you say. May ask you
q few questions about points that are.
not clear to me?
Hanna-Certainly my man. l will
answer you with pleasure. What /
don't know about the. future, as we'll
as the present, isn't worth knowing.
Besides. my chief purpose in life is to
keep the workingman's dinner pail full.
/ would go without my dinner sooner
than he SHOULD go without his. Speak,
my friend, I will clear up all your
doubts.
Workingman-Thank you, Mr.. Han
ma, knew you would help poor work.
ingman out of his difficulties, even If
Colonel Roosevelt does say that the me-
chanic and the farmer are inferior to
drunken cowboys! Since you refer to
the full dinner pail, | would like to
know if the farmers will all stop grow
ing wheat and corn and If all the -four
mills will shut down if Mr.. Bryan
should be elected?
Hanna-Certainly Who will want
to eat If Mckinley loses? Everybody
will feel too sad. Besides, there will
be no sunshine or rain to make the
wheat grow Providence belongs to the
Republican party and it won't nave
anything to do with this country if it is
so sacrilegious as to vote against the
party of duty and destiny"
Workingman-That is very convinc
ing. had not thought OF that. Then,
! suppose, Mr.. Hanna, all the butchers
would close up, too, and We should have
no meat but what was left of the can
ned beef from the Spanish war?
Hanna-Unquestiona ALI the beef
cattle would die of grief because they
had no Republican administration to
embalm them, and all the hogs would
go out of business because they care for
nothing but the full dinner pail.
Workingman-How about clothes?
Will wooden mills close if Bryan wins?
Hanna-Yes, sir; everybody will
have to do without clothing | would
like to know who would want to be
seen with clothes If Mckinley is beaten.
Moreover, even if they wanted to, they
couldn't, because the sheep wouldn't
grow any wool. The Republican party
has made the wool industry OF this
country. and American sheep are too
patriotic not to remember that fact.
The sheep are naturally with the Re.
publican party, for they belong to the
class that was born to be fieeced. They
have been crying all during the cam
paign, Bah! Bah. Bryan,
Workingman-I suppose, then, that
the boot and shoe industries, including
rubber manufacturers of all kinds. will
also shut up shop if Bryan is victor
ious?
Hanna-What foolish question! If
Mckinley isn't in the White House,
who will want shoes or gum boots, even
if the snow is up to your knees next
winter.
Workingman-Will the carpet weav
ers, the wall paper concerns and the
furniture factories quit work if Nc
Kinley becomes has been?"
Hanna-Well, l should say so, If
Bryan is elected who will want carpets
or wall paper or furniture?
Workingman-Will the tobacco fac
tories shut down if Bryan wins?
Hanna-You bet! Who would want
to smoke if the Republican party loses?
l know l wouldn't.
Workingman-Wil the hat factories
bAOoO Ill vase VI ID yam ouCCCoS.
Hanna-Of course they will. If Nc
Kinley is beaten that will be conclu-
sive proof that voters have lost their
heads, and what use will we have for
hats?
Workingman-Wil the manufacture
ers of street cars go out of business if
Mckinley does?
Hanna-They certainly will. Every
body will have to walk in that event,
for what patriotic capitalist will make
cars if Bryan is elected and, besides,
nobody will have nickle to pay fares
with.
Workingman-Will the people of
foreign countries buy our wheat, our
corn, our bacon, our farming imple-
ments, our steel rails and the MANY
other things we have been selling
them?
Hanna Qmpatiently)--Why, you
talk like a child! How could they,
when we wouldn't have any to sell. l
have already told you universal frost
would settle down on everything
general paralysis would occur. And
even IL it didn't, England, who Is one