Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1900-05-04

I'm out for this sixteen to one!
can Mandy sorter sneered. Says
she:
lou let this here gold standard be.
An don't you git to rantin' here
An thinkin' you're an orateer.
A. jumpin' up and jarrin' round.
An knockin' all my bread batch down.
Jes' grab that saw an bacon rind
An try If they don't ease your mind.
An when you've sawed some kitchen
wood.
Go hunt that speckled chickens
brood.
See that the COWS is MIXED an fed;
The cart put in the wagon shed,
An take that swill out to the hogs
An groom the horse and feed the
dogs
An grind them butcher knives o. mine
An put that fresh pork in the brine,
An empty out these suds an tie
This wash rag on the line to dry.
An git som garden truck for sass
An turn old Dobbin out to grass.
Benjamin, when them tasks is done,
You'll find they're nigh sixteen for one
This politics." says she, els bosh."
An | jest stared, I did, b'gosh.
Well, me an Mandy split right there.
l said it was my lot an share
To help 'lect Bryan. For says I,
It's only right that l should try
To muzzle these blame plutocrats-
The everlastin', thievin' rats,
An say the farmer fore he's broke
Beneath this here gold standard yoke!
Then Mandy says, says she: Look
here.
We've farmed it o for twenty year
We've allus had our fill O. grub
An though we've had a real tight rub
Sometimes to make ends meet, we've
got
A middlin' farm. a house an lot,
A cellar full o meat an SIGH,
An though we can't be counted rich
We're eatin' hearty every day;
An while we work, there amt no way
For honest folk to live an not
DO something to earn what they've
got
But twas no use, for when I'm sot
Pm softer than a freckle spot.
We had some cash, an | took that
An give the farm to Mandy, flat.
She cried q little, but staid firm.
B'gosh it sorter made me squirm
To leave her. But l hated worse
To see that blamed gold standard
curse
A CROWN viler every day.
l felt as though l couldn't stay.
An so l went to 'lectioneer
For Bryan, as an orateer.
B'gosh l made the dragon squirm
And siZZle for a slightly term.
| took my share of hard old knocks,
Now speakin' from a dry goods box,
Now in a stuffy little hall
Without no local aid at all.
But say! pulled the dragons tail
And made the plutOcrats turn pale.
| told the boys to up and arm
From every house and every farm.
With Bryan ballots, pile EN- on,
And bury gold sixteen to one.
| screeched out half a vocal chord
An stomped an howled an fumed an
Till all the boys they cheered an
cheered
The noisiest you ever heerd.
An on election day. says l,
'B'gosh, the dragons fur'll fly.
He's wrOngeu and rouDed an stole an
sinned,
But now, b'gosh, I've got him skinned
Well, you know how it was yourself.
They laid poor Bryan on the shelf.
Mckinley was the president.
My cash was jest about all spent,
The plutocrats all seemed to thrive;
The drafted dragon still alive,
B'gosh | wasn't half so brash.
counted up my little cash,
An, says l, Ben, you've lost your
farm.
Not done a cussed bit of harm
TO that gold standard. You're a
chump,
An up an awful hollow stump!
l didn't dare go home, b'gosh,
Afeard that Mandy d laugh and josh.
| stuck her out for nigh a year
An then l made a slightly steer
For the old farm. snooped about,
A watchin' Mandy in an out.
She'd sold a smart account O. wheat.
Her farmin' couldn't we'll be beat.
The house was painted fresh an white
An all looked spick an span an
bright,
An mellow in the settin' sun.
B'gosh, that air sixteen to one
Jest clean forsook my mind. My eyes
Was fearful, an I heaved SIGH signs.
Soou, says 1, III p1uCOcidL
On earth has SIGH a farm as that
An then, b'gosh, 1 stood an cried;
An Mandy, lookin' round her, spied
Me standin', weepin' in the road.
Like lightnin' she run out an throwed
Both arms about my neck. An then:
You dear old, lost old, foolish Benz
We went inside, an SIGH a feast!
No dragon d. no other beast
Has ever ate SIGH grub. At night,
The bed so clean an pure an white!
B'gosh, when l crawled into that
Says I, Ben, you're a p%lutocrat!
Il see, b'gosh', said Uncle Ben,
That Teller Bryan's round again
A Vaughn Of his jinglin' jaw
%Expoundin' his idees of law.
An Mandy says, SO cunnin' like,
Say, Ben, shall we hitch up old Pike
An drive to town tonight! Says 1,
is Bryan goin' to speechify?' ts
She nodded, shakin' like, with fun.
Says Not by-sixteen to one.'
UNFORTUNATE.
If I should be transported where
Woro dQ1icooioc ,,ar o