The Princeton union., 1900-02-22
By Philip &. Hubert. Ir
.& Copyright. 1898
W by j.. P. Lipp!Ccott Co.

1t sometimes seems TO me as IL Ma
turc had a keen sense Of humor, and
loved now and again to play little jokes
upon her victims. We arc apt to think
of Nature as stern, majestic. unrelent-
ing, pitiless. But us she really so?
Animals have no sense OF humor, so it
is said, although I have seen a dog play
tricks upon IL cat that set a whole room
full Of people in Il roar OF laughter.
These however, We're clowns farces,
while Ma: ure plays serious jokes. For
instance, is it not an exquisite joke to
implant in the bosom Or the brain OF
u man born to play the melancholy
Dane the notion that he is really fitted
to do the comic policeman and convulse
the audience by sitting down in his
wife's pumpkin pies? That used to be
the height of the comic mans comic
achievements when was a boy. Ihave
seen even Warren do it at the Boston
Museum l don't want to say how many
years ago. Nature gives Il man the
physical and mental outfit for an un-
hertaker, and at the same time drop
of poison which impels him to play the
clown. This is her little joke. 1t is a
despicable trick both upon the man
and upon the community called upon
to witness his 1nisfortunes. l speak
somewhat feclingly because | am only
too sure that Nature played little joke
upon me when she filled me with the
idea that | was born to be a detective,
whereas, as Il matter Of fact-but that
is my story.
was still very young man, as are
most men when the detective fever
seiZes them, at the time l entered the
employ Of the Morning Gazette as re-
porter. l had no advertised and ac-
knowledged speciality. [ felt myself a
journalist, and everything pertaining
to journalism was my field. Neverthe-
less, If there was one thing hoped and
perhaps prayed for, it was that some
tremendous crime might come to light
through my exertions. When the police
Of New York, or perhaps Of the coun-
try, or even Of the cont inent, or of two
or three continents, acknowledged
themselves beaten and baffled, should
proceed to delve and think until the
criminal was landed in Jail solely
through my delying and thinking.
Such things had happened.
There was a reporter named Bangs
OH i Philadelphia paper who had
achieved fame and fortune by tracking
u supposed murderer for three months,
night and day; that he nearly succeed
ed in getting the wrong man hanged
ho nr:S- ScfN .t,,v,
and not his fault. HIS newspaper ac-
knowledged his enterprise and reward
ed it. He got it into his head that a
certain man, who happened to be per-
fectly innocent, was a criminal, and
having formulated 4 brilliant theory
he worked it out so well, he piled his
damning evidence so high and found SO
many facts to fit his theory, and if they
didn't fit made them fit, that, as l say,
he came near hanging his victim, and
thereby won the admiration Of the
whole newspaper profession Of his
town. This splendid achievement led,
of course, to emulation. For Il long
time all the Philadelphia reporters
went about with the idea that every
stranger they met was deep-dyed vii
lain, and worked upon the theory that
all men were guilty until they had been
proved Innocent
ADother noted case occurs to me:
that of cporter-this time from Bos-
ton-Who stood one day at the ticket
window of q railway station buying
q ticket for the suburb where he lived
when another person asked for a ticket
for Quebec in so peculiar a voice that
the reporters detective instinct began
to work. The mans hand shook SO as
he held it out to receive the ticket that
tho big diamond on his little finger
CLEANED all the more. Between his feet
he hugged a fat valisc. Everything
pointed to the defalcation of at least
a mil]ion-nervous man, ticket for Can
ada, big diamond, fat valise. The train
was to start in six minutes. The re.
porter wrote a hurried note to his CHIEF
telling him that if big bank defalca.
ton came to light that evening he had
the man and was going to track him te
his lair.
He managed to get berth near hi:
victim, who snorcd for eight hours
probably a ruse-while the reporter re
mained on the alert. When they reached
Quebec the man turned out to be tn.
clerk Of big jewelry firm; he had beer
to Boston to buy diamonds, and wa.
perhaps nervous about thieves. Tha
reporter went home feeling that he hat
done his duty; for if there had been :
defalcation that man must have bee,
the defau1ter. 1t is of such stuff tha
detectives-especially newspaper de
tectives--are made; men who stop a
everything and can make somethin,
out of less than nothing.
70 return to my own adventures i,
this exciting field, was highly delight
ed when one day the managing edito
of the Gazette called me into his room
and closed the door.
"Mr. Seymour" he said, "you ma,
not happen to know it, but the Gazett
has recently been imposed upon in
most shameful manner. Did you rea
the story in last Sundays supplement
called 'Daisy's Quest'?''
"Of course" + returned. L made j