Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-10-25
STORIETTES.

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The grand duke of Mecklenburg
was one day gambling at the Dober-
an tables, and was betting ON the
same numbers as rich master-pot-
ter, who stood next to him. Both
having lost their money, the grand
duke inquired: "Well, potter, what
shall we do now?" oh" replied the
master-potter, "your highness will
screw up the taxes and 1 shall make
potsl"
Justin Mccarthy and some friends
We're talking once about member
of the house of commons. A lady
who was one of the company said it
was pity for the sake of his personal
appearance that he had such very
large ears. "Yes," said L. p. 0'Con-
nor, the brilliant parliamentary and
platform orator, land the worst of
it is that while they are too large for
ears, they are too small for wings"
A party of Americans were sitting
on the upper deck of a Rhine river
boat, enjoying the charming scenery.
One was reading aloud from guide
book about the various castles as
they came into view. just as the boat
was passing one of the finest old
buildings, a woman in the party cx-
claimed to her companions: "Why,
that old castle is inhabited. See,
there are blinds at the Window"
"No," said man standing by her
side, Ithose are the shades of their
ancestors"
Thomas Wilson of Washington was
once arguing case of some import
ance in the United States supreme
court, and was dwelling upon propo-
sitions that were known to and ac-
cepted by every law student in the
country, when he was interrupted
by the late Justice Miller, saying:
Can not the counsel safely assume
that this court understands the ru5i-
ments of law?" Il made that mis-
take in the lower court" retortei
Mr.. Wilson, "or this case would not
have been here on appeal"
1t was once usual for Highland
shepherds to take their dogs into
church and leave them outside the
pews. Two shepherds at enmity sat
on opposite sides of the aisle one
Sunday. and, soon after the sermon
began, the dogs, one n collie and the
other not-seemed to enter into their
masters quarrel. The shepherds eg-
ged on their dogs in undertones, and
soon there was a real fight in pro-
gress. Most of those in the imme-
date neignborhood craned their
necks over the pews to see how ne
encounter was coming out, and not
few were standing up. The minis.
ister's patience was ultimately ex.
hausted, and so he called to his
hearers" and said: '-Ah, weel, my
britherin, see We are most interested
in the dog fight than in my sermon
and so I'll close the buike-and Iii
bet half crown on the collie!"
While the late General Palmer
was military governor of Ken.
lucky, disturbance occurred in
Emall town in the interior, and il
MS necessary for him to go theirs
at once. There was no train, no ear
riage, no buggy to be got; the only
vehicle available was big, gi.ded
circus chariot left by some stranded
show company. He didn't like it.
but there was nothing else to do, so
he got in. The general cut great
dash as he drove through q small
town. People turned out in droves
to see him pass. When he left tho
town behind and reached the plants.
tons, the negroes saw him AMI stared
with open mouths. They followed at
respectful distance, until presently
they were Joined by an old white
haired preacher, who, on seeing Gens
eral Palmer in his magnificent char
lot. raised his eyes and his arms on
high. and, in voice that stirred all
within hearing, cried: "Bress de
Lord, de day of Judgment am come
an dis gemman am de Angel Gabriel
hisself. Bredren. down on yo' knees
an pray, TO yo' hour am hyart"