Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1900-03-22
OJACK MEDICINE.


Ill INV nv
In his speech recently delivered at
the Kansas Day banquet Hon, E. W.
Hoch, of Marion, in seeking to Illus
trate the many and wonderful rem
edies with which the populist party OF
Kansas have sought to cure the ills
of the body polite made decided hit
He likened the party to the old doc
tor who had put into long black
bottle little bit of every medicine
known to materia medica. The pa
tent no matter what his ills, received
dose from this old black bottle, be-
cause it had in it something which
was good for every disease. Below
we print an extract from the speech:
"And so these quack doctors OF pop
ulism have an old black bottle, which
is now in my possession, and which |
desire to properly label and turn oyer
to George W. Martin tonight for per-
manent preservation among the GU
rios of the state historical collection
Into it they first dumped the Omaha
and Ocala platforms. Then Mrs,
Ilmery's infamous Seven Conspira-
cies' was dumped in. Then lgnatius
Donnelly's rotten Caezar's column of
putrid human skeletons went in.
Then Edward ReIamy's fascinating
upas, Looking Backward, went in.
Then s. S. Kings hateful 'Bondhold-
ers and Breadwinners went in. Then
S. NJ SCOTS silly 'Sub-treasury' went
in. Then Labor Commissioner ToddFs
s00-page lie that Kansas farming
doesn't pay, went in. Then Dostors
socialistic hereses, went in. Then a
job lot of octopuses and red dragons
were thrown in. Then the now peni-
tent PETERS 2O,OO0,000 red, white and
blue aluminium university went in.
Then Otis 7,00O.OO0,O00 silk paper abb
solute Observation-Disclosures
don't-take-it-money went in Then
John Davis interminable anti-fat sta
tistics went in, Then Jerry Simp-
sons proposition that we make a
geological survey of the mountains
and base our monetary system on the
ore in the mountains went in. Then
Credentials Topolobampo tomfool-
cry went in. Then Dunsmore's bald
pate with the revised arithmetic
stamped on it went in. Then Level
lng's rebellion went in. Then Gen.
| Artz's gasoline gun and gorgeous uni
form went in. Then Senator" John
Martins 'time honored principles,
badly dilapidated, went in. Then Webb
| McNalfs tleet-footed Old Fluke' went
in. Then his lightning calculators.
| all Foote, went in. Then lot of
pussy cat scandals went in. Then
Mrs. Leases celebrated ant-corn rem
edy went in. Then the scrap iron and
imaginary rolling stock of the aurora
boreulis-no-terminal- t-either-end rail
road went In. The other fiat RENE
dies too numerous to mention, as the
sale bills say. went in. Then all the
other idiocies the human mind is ca
pable of conjuring went in. Then the
old bottle was labeled shake well be.
fore taking. And they say the God
dess of Liberty was sick, and heaven
knows she was by this time, the Kan
sas part of her, at least, though we
now know, in fact we've known all the
time, she was suffering more from
doctors than disease. And thest
quack doctors couldn't agree what
was the matter with her; and so they
held her in their unholy embrace, ant
forced their old black bottle to hel
sweet lips, and doped' her with thai
internal embalming fluid. And thel
even our best medicine men got be
wldered for awhile. and held con
sultation, and in desperation aske'
each other What's the matter will
Kansas Matter enough, Too muel
matter. Nothing but matter. Al
kinds of matter except gray matter
That was the matter with Kansas"