Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-01-02

round the house. scattering cloud of
SNOW with his wheels
Wife-"Do you think Tommy disturbs
our neighbors with his drum"
Husband-"Tm afraid so; the man
next door made him a present of a nice
new knife today. and suggested that
Tommy should cut open the drum and
spend the money that is inside lit
Bits.
The Chinese minister, Wa Ting Fang.
has achieved a great reputation for
bright speeches and quick wit, and some
OF his friends were telling a brand-new
story about him the other day that
showed his power of ready response. 1t
WAS on big iunllet to the West not so
very long ago, says the Washington
Star, and he was one OF a large party
made UP OF otcialdom. the Congress.
the diplomatic corps, the press ct al.
At little station that seemed to have
been dropped upon barren wilderness
by a passing cloud the train stopped and
crowd of townsmen gathered about the
car platform where he was standing
Whats the population of this place."
he asked of one of his party who was ac-
quainted with the state.
.One thousand.
How many mem?
'One hundred"
And women
mine hundred"
He gratefully acknowledged the in
formation, reflected for a moment.
walked inside the car, gathered up some
IF his belongings and began giving each
member Of his party handshakc.
why, what are YOU shaking hands
forT' some one asked
This town." he answered. quick as
flash. has 900 women and only 100 men.
This is where I get off. Goodby.'
What do You propose to do with this
mani said the stranger in Crimson
Gulch
we amt goin' to do nothin' to him."
said Rattesnake Pete. only jes' show
him that we don't feel under no obIiga-
tOns whatsoever. We're going to take
him ont an stand him up in a wagon
under Il tree with Il rope around his neck
An then we're goin' to drive off an not
have any more sociability with him. =
Washington Star.
What a nice little thing he is. Mrs
Rooney" said the district visitor. as she
patted the child's cheek. ''YiS mim he
is that same returned the proud moth
err This IS the time when ideas are
all formed, Mrs. Rooney" continued the
lady visitor. When we are children our
characters are formed by what goes on
around us. But if we have good parents
who try to bring us up in the proper
way, we escape the evil influence of bad
surroundings. And | am afraid that
some of the people in this neighborhood
are not very good" Mrs. Rooney re-
manned silent. The visitor coughed and
went ON. "Of course you are bringing
him up properly, and showing what he is
to do when he grows up?" ''Av course,
MINI, answered Mrs. Rooney. confident
~. Why, it was only last night Oh hid
him UP to the windy to watch his father
bate Il p'hcemin in the strate''
What on earth are YOU bringing all
those umbrellas in here forT' asked Mrs.
Van Fashion, as Mr. Van Fashion puffed
into their bedroom with an armful of rain
interceptors.
Why: thought that receptions was
due tonight
Yes, and you are afraid the guests
will steal them, are you?''
Not at all. | am afraid they will rec
OgniZe them. Life
When its limited express trains were
put on few years ago the Lake Shore
Hallway company decided to charge extra
for the privilege Of riding on them. aud
John Newell, who was president of the
system at that time, gave orders that
be hOnored on the flyers says the San
Francisco Argonaut 1t was not intend
ed, Of course, that the complimentaries
issued to high officials Of other roads
should be void on the fast trains, but
through an oversight Il yearly pass was
sent to d. w. Caldwell, president of the
Nickel Plate, which bore on its face the
words: Not good on Lake Shore limit
ed trains. A few days after Mr.. Cald-
wells pass had been issued Mr.. Newell
received an annual pass on the Nickel
Plate, with the following endorsements
Not good on passenger trains
Once upon a time an Arab approa ched
his camel in much anxiety of spirit
This, Camelv' he said, lis the last
straw! AS you know, it is supposed to
break your back, but I'm going to take
the responsibility of feeding it to your
Accordingly the camel partool1 of the
straw. and presently died of indigestion,
complicated With appendicitis This ia
BILE teaches how hard it is to thwart des-
tiny.-Puck.
a rather good story is told on Con-
gresham Brosius in connection with a
visit to Baltimore, made some time ago