The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-10-07
HEY WANT QUEER BOOKS
SOME HUMOROUS REQUESTS MADE
BY READERS TO IL
BRAREANS
A WITTY PAPER BY MISS Jesse
1t WAS Read Before State Library
Association at winona and De-
scribe@ Difficulties by Her
end Her Assistants.

At the recent session of the State Lii
brary association at Winona Miss EIesse.
OF the ST. Paul library, gave very in
teresting paper on the humorous SIDE Of
library work and the funny questions and
queries made at the delivery desk The
paper was heartily received, as those
present had had experience along the
same line and had been forced to keep
their faces straight when they were in
e.lned 10 burst opt l;.ugaips before the
face of the innocent question:
Miss Hesse said:
Ii was DR. Holmes who
'sWrote some lines once on time
In wondrous merry mood
And thought as usual men would say
They We're exceeding good
SO good they We're that for
''Ten days and nights with sleepless eye
/ watched that wretched man
Ard since / never dare TO write
AS funny as l can
Remembering this sad plight of my es-
teemed friend I naturally '-onc uded that
under no condition would | be induced
TO indulge in my usual vein, but hence
forth and forever assume The serious
solemn face of the clew...
The penalty we amusers of mankind
that no matter how ardliously we labor
to make ourselves truthful retailers Of
lifes various phases, we are always
judged to be INDUCING in our natural
whimsicalities and never no, never, are
we given the credit Of IN honest tear.
Be this as 1t may, / stand Hef0ra you
pledged to tell the truth, and cEly that
often too earelessly handled attic e.
If there are those present who
thought dainty little fictions would be
the mental fare, the chairman is at lib
erty to ask me to refrain from further
speech till they have made their exit.
All, what lovers of truth have we here;
as an actual fact I myself new feel
somewhat out of place
There are several reasons for the mis-
takes made in requests for subjects, or
books in the different departments Of IL
brary work Probably that very thing
which libraries are intended to decrease,
ignorance, is the most note verify; care
1essness in reading or hearing cont1 butes
its share, and then, too, the Eninten ,ional
error causes ones risibles te indulge their
propensities. but always behind the kindly
shelter of the stacks.
Certain il is that tine library gives the
touch that makes the world akin, and the
form it assumes is the new book The
twiStings and turnings which its title
undergoes at the hands of patrons sur
passes that of the author unable to de-
eide whether far-fetched ALTERATION, or
juNtaposed eonsenants, causing ones
mouth to assume d lock-jawed look, will
be the surer te attract public attention.
The large healthy woman who asked
for ''Jaundiced Mary caused an inter
nal explosion OF which she was unaware
The inquirer fer Esther, Queen of the
d'JrberVilles. should not only receive a
nigh mark for ingenuity. but be recon-
mended for SO well recollecting the char
acters in the great Human Mordecai
Afasueras drama.
At last new benefactor has arisen,
and III bis train comes the long-sought
for sixth sense 1t was he who informed
us that; SO much pleasure and benefit
had beenzreceiVed from the first volume
that lie could scarcely wait for the sec
ond one of DaFwiTs Origin OF Spices
In ST. Paul we know the we'll dressed
lady with diamonds on several fingers
VINO being Informed that a fine IS due
on her book, ostentatiously informs us
that she does not mind paying, Oh, no!
but she is sure that the calendar is
wrong. and 4 minute afterwards adds.
1hat is just why so UP TO Minneapolis
for my book they only fine two cents a
day Minnie has tried that way of at
1raeting a floating population since the
Mississippi refuses te make her the head
ef navigation.
Speaking of navigation suggests the
little boy vine asked for Miles Standish
III Africa. This was only a mistake in
name, but the -afl-eonIPrising- knowledge
Of sthe- person who asked for a book of
travels in no particular country, but he
had heard that it was a delightful book,
bias its equal in the statement of the pat
trol that be had received letter the day
before iEclosing half of an envelope,
and he desired d. book which would tell
him what ii meant. That society woman
vino said that there We're just two peo-
pie whom she wished to meet on her
next visit TO Europe, the Prince of Wales
and Shakespeare. little thought that a
child would in senlewise echo her remark
by asking for 4 book Oh Hamlet, but not
by Hamlet
This unusual interest in the great ones
OF the earth probably is accountable for
the Re 4Gest for IN High Places when
Parker's Seats Of the Mighty was the
desired novel. Poorly arranged houses
OF worship are blameable for the I'm
seen Choir. THE Acts Of the Apostles
have had an unexpected addition in the
Red Acts, or as some attempted, with
not better success, Red Ratchet"
when a pious-looking woman asket
fer Santa Claus on a bum
All this unusual tumut so upset
French patron that he blurted out ''da
play to much noise for nothings"
Shakespeare says: Sharper than
sepents tooth it is to have thankles
child" So thoroughly had the opposit
dictum honor they father and tn,
mother" been inculc&ted that a ehildisl
patron, desiring to hasten the snail-lik
hours of the sick room Informed al
attendant that his mother was not a
all well, and he wanted a good book 70
her-a detective or ghost story.
Shortly after this little man who ha
outgrown the inanit:es of the moderl
fctionists, inquired for story basted o.
English history.
A former visitor of the juvenile room
was overheard belittleing a companion
continued reading of that literature, %
don't take those baby books, 1 rea
about where people marry; but [ wis
writers would not use such difficult lang