Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-03-09
The Fable of DiOgenes.

DlOgenes was born Az Is. Z, anC
has been dead a good many years. He
was noted for his trihing, shiftless
habits, but the people of Greece haC
not taken a tumble to him yet, anC
they called him II philosopher. Nova.
days they are called tramps.
But it was different in those days.
If man acted oddly and neglected
the common decencies of life, he was
not taken out behind the barn and
kicked into the middle of next week
as he should have been, but he was
calleda philosopher.
There are great many people yet
who have the same qualifications, but
We call them hoboes.
Diogenes wouldn't work, so he con.
cluded to go into the philosophy bust
ness, and found it very easy way to
make living.
His father had made up his mind to
try an experiment on Diogenes, hence
he never corrected him; but when
grown up folks came to the house, lit
tie Diogenes would stick in his CAB
when he had no business, and would
shut his father clear out of the CONVEX
sation. He did this to such an extent
that many of the neighbors were glad,
indeed, when he got the measles, in
the hope that he wouldn't get over it,
but he came out smiling.
Diogenes was more case of misap-
piled confidence on the part of his
folks than anything else. If he had
been licked within an inch of his life,
ever chance the old man had, he might
not have been u philosopher, but he
would have been a good deal more ac-
count as a bread and butter making
citizen. That was what got the mat
ter with Greece. They all wanted to
go into the philosophy business, and
none wanted to work.
Too much philosophy will ruin any
nation. If our country ever goes into
bankruptcy and finds it necessary to
make an assignment, it will not be on
account of the politicians nor the dem
agogues. 1t will be the fault of too
many philosophers.
Diogenes was too shiftless and utter
ly no account to have a place to live,
so he made virtue of necessity and
took up his abode in tub. He never
took bath except in the spring, Just
as the ice went out and the geese flew
north. When his clothes needed patch
ing he had to go to bed.
II he was ever married we never
heard of it, and we always feel like
congratulating the woman who didn't
marry him. The world owes its sym
pathy to any woman who marries a
philosopher.
1t is related that one day Diogenes
went forth with a lantern in quest of
an honest man. But we think that is
lie. That would have been too much
like work. If the story was that he
sent some one, there might be some
thing in it.
Diogenes was lazy lout of loafer
from choice, and the only reason he
was ever called philosopher was be-
cause he was cynical, sour, grouchy
old bear. A good many people get
their regulations the same way, who
have no other claim to it.
It's also related that Alexander once
called upon him and asked him what
he wanted. He said, 81 want you to
stand from between me and the sun
shine" But that is simply one Of
Diog's lies, because all loafers are also
tremendous liars.
Once upon a time he went to ban
quet given by Plato, unbidden, and
trampled upon his fine carpet with his
muddy feet, and said, "Thus | tram
pie on your pride, o Plato"
''But with still greater pride, o Di-
ogenes," said Plato, which shows that
Plato was on to him with both feet.
We believe this story because all
buns are likewise great feeders, and
i they are not hidden guests, they are
i'll bred enough and indecent enough
to go anyway. If Diogenes were liv-
ing today, the kids in the streets would
get him out of the notion of being a
philosopher, and maybe he would go
to work.
MORAL: Go to work.