The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-12-09

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creature in every wornan's career.
h Modern Fable of the Two Wive.
who Talked About Thefr Husbands.
Once there were two Married Couples
who had organized a Quartet so as 20 have
some one else 10 look az now AID then.
Mrs. A had a Way OF reading the Riot
Act to the Other half of the Domestic
Sketch. She was constantly rcbuking him
for making Bad Breaks in Company. When
he bought Striped Shirts OF the Georgia
Minstrel Pattern she told him that he had
the Sartorial Instincts of a Crap Shooter.
She asked him why he wore his Hat on one
side of his Head just like a Common
Rough. How she would get after him II he
forgot TO speak to the Ice Cream Man when
she had invited some one TO Dinner,
1t seemed TO him that he had made more
Errors and fewer Hits than any Player in
the Matrimonial League. His Percentage
was about .02S.
But this same Mrs. a when she talked
to her Friends said that. although VIII
might be Thoughtless now and then. the
same as all Men, he had a Heart too Big
for his Body and one OF the Sweetest
Natures hat ever came down the Pike.
She said that If other Men were as re-
liable as her Will there would be no de-
mand for Private Detective Agencies. She
said that Will had a Disposition that il
was a Comfort TO tie to, and IL was a Great
Blessing for any Woman with Nerves 10
be anchored to a Steady Man who never
few off the Handle. She said that she was
glad of the Chance TO play Clinging Vine
to his Sturdy Oak. and she didn't care who
knew it. When Mrs. A fell TO Cracking Up
her Husband she talked like a Press
Agent.
Mrs. b was Different. When she and the
Wage Garner were by themselves she
would Fondle him and make him Declare
that he still Loved her, whether it came
Natural or not. She would hold him by
the Hand and call him her Handsome
Boy and lead him TO think that William
Fa~versham and Henry Miller were not en-
titled to quite all of these Mash Notes
scented with Heliotrope.
An Hour later While talking CONFIDENTIAL
ly with a roomful of Women, with the In
Outstanding that il would not go any
farther, she would say that she had a
Secret Sorrow. She said her Husband
lacked Soul, and Feeling. and Imagination.
and a few other Items not essential on the
Stock Exchange.
Her Wings and His Wings were not
Mates. When size wanted 10 Soar I'm the
Rarifed Realm OF Sentiment and cut
Didoes among the Clouds he would haul
her back to the Plowed Ground by some
Allusion to Liver and Bacon.
Although she had tried 10 grow Pinions
on him and encouraged him TO DO her kind
OF Swoops, he preferred 10 Ice OF the Earth
Earthly. Consequently her Life was as
Empty as a Bass Drum. In attempting to
get an Affinity she had made a miscue
and was up against it.
Under the circumstance she would have
to make the best OF a Bad Bargain and
hide her Grief from the World unless some
one should Ask her about it.
1t came about that one Evening MI. and
Mrs. A went to call on Mr.. and Mrs. d.
The two Men were in BIS Room silently
inspecting some Old Bindings when Mrs.
A and Mrs. B came into the Room adjoin-
ing and began TO compare Husbands. little
rocking that the Men could eavesdrop.
When A heard Mrs. A catalogue his Viz
tues and say that he was one in a Thou
sand he was surprised but Pleased. When
Il heard Mrs. b say that she was con-
demned to a mere Existence with a Sordid
Money Grubber who had no more Delicacy
of Feeling than a Domestic Animal he also
was Surprised. but not pleased.
The two Men walked softly out Of the
Room and went for their Hats.
MY Wife is stuck on me after all" said
A. I'm a Case of this Kind there is only
One Thing to be done. Come with me 10
the Club and 1 will open a Keg of Nails
II am with you" said i very gloomily
IT must Drown my Sorrow So they went
on a loot of the High-Lonesome Variety
Moral-AnythiDg for an excuse.