Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1900-04-30
His Best Hope.

Piled the other man, SaYaSely. .-Chl-
cago Tribune.
His Best Hope.
"Can you give me no hope?" he
wildly cried.
YES" sweetly smiled the young
girl; ''if you go out very quietly papa
may not hear you"
Not Very Consoling.
Humorist-"The editor makes fun
of my jokes"
Spacer-"Well, don't see that you
have any kick coming. That's more
than you are able to do"
The Spirit of Research.
''Ma, oh, NAL"
'What is it, Georgie?"
"If you had married somebody else
sides pa would l ha' had red hair or
black hair? indianapolis journal.
Company For Dinner.
Tommy Jones-'I didn't eat half
enough dinner"
Jimmy Brown "What'd you have
fer dinner?"
Tommy Jones-"Company." Ohio
State Journal.
A Discreet Retreat.
"My French professor went home
and wrote to me that he couldn't teach
me any longer except by mall
''Why not?"
He said my pronunciation threat
ened to ruin his"
The Wrong Line.
'It's too bad" said the condo!ing
friend. ST thought you were right in
line of promotion"
NO." mournfully replied the man
who had lost his job. 81 was right in
the firing line. Chicago Tribune.
In Thorough Subjection.
Mr.. Meeker, who had gone to the
front door to answer the postman's
ring, put his head inside the door of
the room where his wife was sitting.
cts letter for me, my dear" he
said 'tShall 1 open it?"-Chicago
Tribune.
He Would Invite Trouble.
Mother Stop pounding your little
brother. Margie. What do you mean
10y treating him in that manner?"
Margie-"Well, mamma, told him
we had better play we were engaged,
but he would play we were married."
Philadelphia Press.
The Trail of the Sleuth.
First Detective-"T was a very
neat piece of work How did you
guess that man was u woman in dis
guise?"
Second Detective-"I asked him
why he was sitting there and he said
Because. '"-New York Press.
Hard to Remember.
Miss Pepprey-" "Why, she doesn't
look as if she knew her own name"
Miss Newitt-''She doesn't, half the
time"
Miss Pepprey-"R "Really?"
Miss Newitt-"Yes, you know she
snarried Polish nobleman. "-Phila-
delphia Press.
One Style OF Satire.
''This cartoon of yours has certaik
element of humor in it," remarked
the Paris Scavengeur.
YES" answered the artist. II
tried to supply that"
''Well, don't do it again. 1t de.
stroys the artistic symmetry of your
work. You must try to learn to bs
vulgar without being funny"
Explained.
''I must confess to a great deal Of
egotism," said Willie Washington.
"Indeed?" responded Miss Cay.
enne.
eyes. think about myself en-
tirely too much"
'Oh, that isn't egotism That's
merely the usual human tendency to
worry over triAes. Washington Star.
Sure Test.
"Are you sure she is as gentle and
patient and amiable as she seems?"
asked the friend
''Not quite sure" answered the
young man who is in love, "but I'm
going to find ont
"How?"
I'm going to get her to call some.
body up over long distance tele-
phone and then watch her.
Danger of "a business Education.
''This love letter that you wrote to
me-" she said, and then paused in.
quiringly.
"Well, what of it?" he asked.
81 rotice," she answered, ''that it
has been manifolded."
Hang it allp' he explained, as be
jammed his hut down on his head and
started for the door; 'I never did be-
lieve in giving woman business edu-
cation. Chicago Post.