davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

Cecil Rhodes organ of jingoism, the
London Daily Mail, has correspon-
dent at The Hague who says that
President Kruger sis elated by the re-
cent Boer successes and scornfully re-
fuses to talk of peace" He is naturally
elated over the Boer victories but is
anxious for peace with independence.
'1r. Kruger has become stiff-necked,"
says. the correspondent. Not more so
than he has been from the beginning.
He knows his rights, and his motto is
Liberty or Death
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

William J. Sewell, Republican sena.
tor from New Jersey, who has been
unanimously renominated by the lower
house of the legislature, is a native of
Ireland, being born in the county of
Mayo. General Sewell was gallant
soldier in the Civil War. and has al
ways remembered the land of his birth.
At present he is one of the chief exc
cutives of the Pennsylvania Railroad
company, and is universally respected
in political and commercial circles.
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

The Beers captured squadron Of
British yeOmanry the other day and
after the prisoners were relieved of
their horses and military equipment
they were released without parole.
That shows the lofty contempt the
Beers have for the numerical superior
ity of their adversaries. In "civilzed
warfare" it used to he the rule to
slaughter prisoners whom the captors
were unable to hold, unless they gave
their parole. The British would Ger
tainly Shoot Rocr prisoners If condi-
tons were reversed, but the Beers are
more humane and magnanimous than
the AnglO-SaXonS
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

The British colonial troops or I'm.
pcrial ycomanry are clamoring to go
home from South Africa. The Cana
dams have already come home. and
they are not in a hurry to so back
The enthusiasm was knocked out of
them at Paardeberg by. Gen. Cronje
and his unerring marksmen. The Brit
ish government offers the colonials in
South Africa an increase of % cents
a day if they stay to fight the Beers
Surely. they did not so as mercenaries
but as loyal subjects Of Victoria. They
have had a surfeit of fighting during
the last twelve months and want to ge
home to rest on their laurels
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

Bishop McGoldricE of South Dako-
ta,' says an eastern exchange, "up-
held Archbishop Ireland's view on the
army canteen." 1t is Bishop McGol-
rick, of Duluth, who is meant by our
valued contemporary. The bishop of
South Dakota is Rt. Rev. Thomas
O'Gorman, who is now in Europe The
name Of the amiable prclate Of the
Zenith City contains no "a. 1t is
spelled McGolrick.
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29
We're Foster. the philanthropist who

We're Foster. the philanthropist who
furnished over 1000 national schools
in ireland with wooden flooring for the
benefit of the children's health, died
in Belfast, Ireland, on Dec. q. He
was Irish, but born in Copenhagen
in 1919. At one time he was in the
British diplomatic service in South
America. Many of the Irishborn read
ers of the Irish Standard remember
seeing We're Foster and will pray for
his eternal rest, though he was not of
their faith.
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

Lieutenant Colonel Parker. of the
United States army. who is admins
tering the affairs of $4,000 Filipinos
in a province of Luzon, says in The
Outlook that these people are most
ambitious for education and most de-
sirous Of a knowledge of English. or
Americana as they call it." He for
gets to mention what was said by Cen
eral Joe Wheeler-that ninety per cent
Of the Filipinos are already able to
read and write in the Spanish Ian
guage. Colonel Parker ought to en-
plain what he means by education.
Acquiring a knowledge Of "Aneri-
cano" is but small part of it.
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

The Beers are real savages, don't
mas presents on the way from 'merrie
England" to the young and cultured
aristocrats in Methuen's camp. Now,
what do you think of that? Such men
are not fit for freedom! 1t is supposed
that De Vets husky huntsmen sang
a hymn of praise to Santa Claus for
sending such nice things to them for
Christmas Day.
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

The following fictitious telegram
from Lord Kitchener to Empress Vic
toria appeared in the esteemed Mime
apolis Journal: "Dear Queen: Two
hundred thousand troops isn't enough.
The Beers have at least 5000 men IN
der arms to my certain knowledge"
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

Another call has come from London
for 1000 Canadians to go to South
Africa to join Baden-Powell's Trans
vaal mounted police. None but first
class shots and riders are wanted. The
pay will be $40 per week and every
thing found. We hope the Kanucks
will stay at home.
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

In a recent Sunday issue of the New
York Sun a writer under the nom de
plume of "Catholicus' berates Catholic
editors on their many shortcomings
and deficiencies. 1t is easy to criticise,
but evidently "Catholicus" has never
edited a Catholic paper himself. When
it is remembered that the Catholic edi-
tor not only writes and clips but takes
proof of everything in the columns Of
his paper, the wonder is that he gets
out such good paper rs he usually
does. He is very busy man, and
instead of being censured he ought to
be heartily encouraged in his laborious
aud eNacting duties.
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

Archbishop Ireland gives an emphat-
ic contradiction to the story that he
has been appointed as an envoy of
President Mckinley to investigate the
condition of ecclesiastical affairs in
Cuba. absolutely falsc-absolutc-
ly!" exclaimed his grace when inter
viewed by a reporter on his return
home from Washington.
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

Theoretically sealed by Wall Street
spectators during the recent cam
paign, has pompously given his pro-
found views on "the rehabilitation of
the Democratic party in his character
istic style to the Saturday Evening
Post. Grover thinks the Democratic
party has simply wandered off after
strange gods, and that it's great need
is a return to first principles. What
ever the party may do it will never
return to Grover, whom it repudiated
in 1896 with the supremest contempt.
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

A. Happy New Year to Ill our sub
scribcrS and patrons in the great
northwest. and wherever they may be
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

Rev. NJ. j. Henry. of the Irish I'm
migrant Girls Home, New York, has
sent an annual Christmas greeting to
the friends of the institution in the
shape of happy little poem com.
mencing thus:
Two glorious flags we fondly Irvine,
The Stars and Stripes. the Green and
Gold.
Columbia's peace and battle sign,
Old Erin's banner of the bold.
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

Mrs. Cobwigger-When men turn
around in the street 10 look after wo-
man. it shows that she has pretty
face. Cobwigger-That's so, my dear.
And when women turn to look after
her it shows that she has pretty
dress
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

and as Il result of the revelation of
secrets. \ nation may not with i'm
punity indulge in a Jameson raid.
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

Grover Cleveland. the Sir Oracle Of
Gray Gables, whose lips were kept
The Irish standard., 1900-12-29

Visitor-1s there anything I can do
for you? Prisoner-You might send
me file of newspapers-or any old
file.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
SATI RDAY, OCT. 81. 1900.
DOG STOPPED TRAIN.
Early Morning Amusement of a
Colorado Bloodhound.
IL Worked Wei for n Long Time, But
at Last the Engineer Tired of
the Trick md Dog and Lo-
connective CoIIided.

Somebody in the vicinity of Hazel
ton is lamenting the loss of large
and valuable bloodhound The ami
NAL engaged in fight the other
morning with the locomotive which
hauls the No. flyer from Denver to
cheyenne, and was literally bumped
of the earth. Despite his share in
the tragedy, Engineer Mike White,
who handles the flyer, is not to be
counted among the dead bloodhound's
mourners. On his return from Chey-
enne, replying to an expression of re-
gret for the fate of the dog. Engineer
White vented grin of deep satisfac-
Gon and said to Denver Republican
reporter:
what could the blamed brute ex-
pect when he went so far out of his
class?''
or some time before the UNEQUAL
Co hat took place the late Hazelton
ali. hound had indicated a decided
Rsd riolent antipathy toward Mike
Nv . engine. AS the flyer slipped
ftow. out of Hazelton in the early
hacruiny, with a clear track ahead
r1he ears of Engineer White and Fire
anan Bolthoff suddenly would he as
sailed by deep and hoarse: Wool,
wool, woor-r; WOW, WOW, wowi"
Then from some covert by the side
OF the railroad there shot streak of
slate-colored dog, and the bloodhound
came bounding down the track, right
between the rails on which the wheels
OF the train were turning. Neither
the weird howlings of the locomotive
whistle nor the physical demonstra-
ton made from the cab window by
Engineer White sufficed to check the
dogs career or turn him of the flyers
right of way.
Prior TO recent Tuesday morning a
shovelful of hot cin6ers. followed, by a
combined onslaught on the part Of the
train crew, sent the hostile blood
hound off bowling to such distance
that fair start could be given the
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
STOPPING THE TRAIN.

train before the brute returned to at
tack it. On this last and fatal occa-
sion, however, he changed his tactics,
and the sequel was deplorable.
The flyer already had been in
trouble on that morning, on account
OF live distractions. Passing a way
side ranch house a stop was made to
avoid slaughtering a flock of MORT
bund turtle doves that crowded the
rails and tracks. This incident did
not sweeten the temper of Engineer
White, and he was gloomily antici-
Pating the slate-colored bloodhound
as the train ran into Hazelton. In his
nneasiness he even whistled few
friendly dog calls, in the hope that
the bloodhound might make a prema-
ture appearance and be disposed of
before the train started. But, no, the
bloodhound showed up in his own
time and usual mood.
The train was stopped again. but
instead of barking at the engine until
ne was attacked, as he had been do
Ing, the dog this time retreated az the
engine slowed up, and from a safe
vantage point ahead continued to
bark furiously at his elected enemy.
Another start was made, and as the
wheels began to spin down came the
bloodhound, apparently intent on
charging the engine. The cow-catcher
almost brushed the nose of the brute
before the train was brought to a
Standstill. But he was far up the
road before the train crew had
sVTarmed out to attack him.
The second delay was filled up with
y serious consultation between the
conductor, engineer and fireman.
Nike White was heard to say: CT be-
heve the cuss imagines that my ma
chine is gutter; full of yellow, you
know; won't come to the scratch. But
I'll show him"
With tail erect and hair all abristle
che misguided dog bore down for the
last time upon his strange antagonist.
But there was no slackening Of the
speed.
"Bolthof." said the engineer, sthi,
train Is going TO Cheyenne to-day,
whatever becomes Of that dog. Stoke
ap."
The fireman shook his head and
booked out in time to see the object a
Ais commissration collide with the
oowcAtGAer, head frat. Then, 90 che
triumphant locomotive sped past ths
scene OF the brief enoasntsr, xirsm an
Boltho0 wetsAad . slats-eoiorsA mas
describe . HaraSeSa eAsouxh sAs sis
aad assA sa 90 vfasfsA sssts . Ne
fanes freN % SefisseA AsHek.
-As IA sk ssszxseR xsese. MAss'
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27

Teaeher-I am sorry 10 say il,
Henry, but your composition is not
worthy of you. The rhetoric is faulty.
the logic weak, the statements are
based upon INSTRUMENTATION, and the
style is lamentably crude.
Henry-My! Won't my dad be mad
when / tell him that?
Teaeher-But you can tell him you
did your very best.
Henry-Did my best nothing. Dad
wrote the whole of it hlmself.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Painful interference

Don't triie with me. Miss Nc.
Curdyl" pleaded the young man, des,
perately. wait till 1 have finished
DO | need to tell you. after ali these
weeks, how completely and absolute.
iy your image fills my heart? Have
YOU not seen? Do you not know
Have | not betrayed myself by my
looks, by the tones OF my voice, by
the eager joy that lights up my
features whenever you appear? Must
l-put in words the feelings [ can nc
more disguise than ] can"
Mr.. Whitgood," interrupted the
young woman. ARE you in earn.
est?"
Glycerine McCurdy," he said, draw.
ing himself up with injured dignity
do you think I'm doing this on a
bet |'-Chicago Tribune.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Good ssws for tie Unemployed.

W mt her in the north. lam
IN touch with those who need help,
can find out who is unreasonable ard
unjust. l have steady demand for
good women 90 cooks. chamberms i'd 8
spo general ervants, and often for
good indoor and outdoor men servants.
pay ycur fare to which is added .
reasons able amount for expenses and
fees. take no orders under any cir.
cnmsrsnces frem disreputable houses
and bells of that kind, and the best
protection Is afforded the respectable
girl who respects herself
Send one stamp for information to
+. q. 8. PBREeRINo,
Albany, N. Y.
In care Of the Spectator.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Not Surprised.

Il have been meditating. as the old
philosopher did," remarked Willy
Washington, who was doing his best
TO be interesting. II have been alone
with my own thoughts. and l am
afraid l am getting morose and cyni
call"
Well, answered Miss Cayenne, 81
am not at all surprised. 1 should
think being alone with your own
thoughts would have precisely those
results. "-Washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
No Proof.

Poiiceman-Here. your honor. are
the tools l found on the pris'ner-a
jimmy, a center-bit. dark lantern.
an piece of lead pipe. wrapped in
paper to look like a bundle of clothes.
Prisoner-Your honor, you will not
let an innocent man be convicted on
such fimsy evidence as that, l hope ?
The articles he speaks OF are nothing
but my bicycle lantern and repair kit.
N. Y World
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Getting On

Yes, the Murklesons are coming
up fast in society"
Il haven't heard anything abou,
their daughter marrying a nobleman,
and they don't seem to be entertain
ing any very prominent people,
That's all true enough, but they've
begun to call their summer cottage a
bungalow.'-Chicago Times-Herald.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Something He Could Recommend

Il WISH" said the housewife who
had grudgingly given him plate OF
cold victuals, instead of thanking me
you could tell me of something that
will drive away cocl1roaches."
Ever try this pie on 'em. ma Fam ?r
lugubriously inquired Tuffold Knutt.
Chicago Tribune.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Merely an Amateur.

Heiress-But you see, you paint pic
lures to sell. 1t would never do fo1
me to marry a man who works foI
his living.
Artist-Darling, no one could ac-
cuse me of working for living. I've
never sold picture in my ife.-N. Y.
World.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
No Chance to Succeed.

Il don't see how you can expect to
be success as a star in emotional
DRAMA" said the theatrical manager
to the society woman with dramatic
aspirations.
''Why not?"
why, how do you expect to get the
necessary advertising?" he demanded
You tell me you are actually living
with your husband. "-ChicaPo Post.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
The stock Gave Ont

Wife-How did you get along while
was away9
Husband-I kept house for about
ten days, and then 1 went to a hotel.
"A hotel? Why didn't you go on
keeping house?"
Couldn't. All the dishes were
dirty."-N. Y. Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
A Syllable Criticism

Mr.. Jingle-Do you consider my
verses erotic?
Miss Gabby-About one-third.
Mr.. jingle don't understand you.
Miss Gabby-They are partly erotic
that is, the second syllable of that
word describes them. - Baltimore
American
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
HelntnE hin Ont.

when was Louisiana osded, dad2'
"Eh? Seeded9 Why. s'poss IL all
depends on what they expect to grow.
Don't AJAX NO moro such fool Ques-
siona. Plain DoaleP.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
UnnnrdnnnhIe

Mrs. Winks-Why do you hate Dea-
con De Goode so?
Mrs. Minl<s-He lost patience with a
crying baby in railroad train.
Most any man will do that"
Yes, but it was my baby."-N. Y.
Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Different.

Last year you were able to give me
something for the poor" gently ex-
postulated the collector.
$50 I was" answered Mr.. Celfboss,
"but at that time I was not in bust
ness for myself. Life.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Not In serious danger.

Doctor-Your wife is very i'll, and I
have my doubts as to her recovery.
Husband-Oh, she'll pull through all
right. Her dressmaker sent home n
new gown yesterday, and she hasn't
tried it on.-Tit-Bits.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Her End of the Contract.

MY husband, the professor, works
all the time on his theory to esta blish
perfect harmony between man and the
universe"
DO you assist him ?"
Dear me, no; I've got all can do to
keep cook in good humor-he's ALWAYS
late TO his meals Chicago Record.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27

Farnser-Ah, you young rascali /
caught you that time.
Boy (whose descent from the tree
has been accidentally retarded)-No
you didn't either. This ere tree
caught me nearly an hour ago.-Gold-
en- DAYS
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Per.onnIIr Intarented.

"How do you feel on the subject of
imperialism?
az don't think women ought to be al
lowed TO boss US men around the way
they do.-Chtoago Record.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
TrufhfuI.

Old Lady-And how did you come to
join the Salvation Army. my good
young man?
S. A. Recruit (frankly)-It was the
only way could get the public to
stand my cornet playing, ma'aml-
Puck
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Virginia Union University
Richmond
Theological
Seminary.
Way|aRd
COLLEGE.

NAGNIFICENT TIE
New Fine light
commanding Location Border of
Large Faculty OF Enthusiastic and Able Professors
Lectures by Distinguished Scholars Educators and Preachers
COLLEGE DEPARTMENT,
many Electives Courses leading
Bachelor OF Science and Bachelor of
a,
Hebrew Greek to-
6r o. Dvn and English leading
ton desire to tit themselves for the ministry.
Thorough
course
ana noble
and
and use of tools dmachin
advantages
Ft manners habits and character receive special attention
examination classification
s45 Term begins Wednesday, S:45 a. Catalogue and
'"iNnei inlornauon on application to THE PRESIDENT
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Song Not from the Heart.

Miss Gushy-Ah, professor, It was
easy to see that your singing was
from the heart
Prof. Won Growle-No, madam, id iss
vrom der diaphragm. Der tones iss
nod goot ven dey vrom der heart iss.
Baltimore American.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Mean of Her.

King Old Man-Why are you crying,
little boy?
Little Theodore only went to
wish my sister many happy returns
on her thirtieth birthday, and the
mean old thing boxed my ears!--N. Y.
World.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
The Mermnid. Favorite.

She-The rarest fish, 1 believe, is the
ribbon fish. It is an inhabitant of the
great depths Of the ocean.
He-I suppose the merm aids are very
partial 20 this specimen.-Yonkers
Statesman
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27

neer Mike White caused the blood of
the dog to be washed from the cow
catcher--"for the sake Of appear-
euces"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27
Joy I'm Prospect.

The watermelon's waning. and
Its joys will soon be gone;
But, an. dear Natures lavish handl
The pumpkins coming on.
Chicago Record
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-10-27

Dora--What . quantity Of zics you
threw sfte< che bridsi
CiArs-sksTi nsed IL before he rsts
HE sssasy raissd.-a. 7. Weekly.
The Lamar register., 1900-06-27
church Services.

CHRIsT's CHURcH-Services the 3rd
Sunday in each month at 7:45 p. m.
in the Odd Fellows hall. Holy COM
munion Monday at Z a. m. Every
body is cordially welcome.
w. H. HAUPT, Rector.
U. p. CHuRcH-Presching next
Sabbath at | l a. m. and s p. m. The
subject in the morning will be '.De-
spising the Birthright," and in the
evening Preparation to Meet God"
81. NJ. JAMESON.
BAPTIST CHURoH-Sunday school at
9:45 a. m. Preaching by the pastor
IL a. m. At night Rev. John w.
Crooks, corresponding secretary for
state missions, will speak on ''Baptists
in Colorado" illustrating his address
with stereopticon. It will be in
teresting. Prayer meeting Thursday
night at home of Brother Landon
The Lamar register., 1900-06-27
DIR. S. w. BILLINGsLEA, M. HI.

Myers. Business meeting Saturday
at 2:3O p. m. at opera house. There
will be a social at the pastors home
Friday evening.
P. A. EUBANk, pastor.
At the Methodist church next Sun
day morning the subject for the ser
mon will be obedience to the Divine
CALL" in the evening christian Git
izenship." The hymns to be used
are numbers 726. 725, 593; 1913, 1873
and 2Z5.
CHURCH Of CHRIST "The Two
Adams" is the subject next Sunday
morning. "The first man Adam was
made a living soul; the last Adam
was made quicKening spirit" In
the evening at s O'Clock we will dis
cuss from u Scriptural standpoint,
"The Sabbath or Lords Day." If
we keep the seventh day we areunder
Moses in lieu of Christ. All invited
CLAY I. RUNYoN, Pastor.
The Lamar register., 1900-06-27
WHILE WILL NOT TAKE

a where
edies and DOCTORS readiness
all circumstances administer the afflicted
cas- a Else