Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1900-07-05

me III give you 30 or w days 10 square
up"
"But how con there be anything com
ing to your protested the landlady.
I'VE can't tell until we have figured
My dear woman. my treasure of Il
landlady, let me say at the very outset
that am perfectly satisfied with your
table, and as for my room kings have
had far worse. II you will kindly &C
over the past in your memory you will
admit that have not made one single
kick; satisfied. my dear woman, per.
fectly satisfied"
"Then the bill Is all right?"
Perfectly all right-couldn't be bet
ter. Let Inc see. When l organized
the Universal Hand Organ trust | let
you In on the ground floor for $50,00O
worth Of stock | believe. That stock
ought to have given you dividends Of
at least $4,000 a year"
"But 1t didn't. major. The whole
thing busted up, you know"
"Ah. remember. 1t was not bust
up, but the Hand Organ trust was con-
solidated with the Great American
Antiblizzard syndicate. haven't the
books here, but If my memory serves
me right presented you with 100000
worth of stock. If your annual income
from that stock has reached the sum
of $10,000---if you have been enabled
to purchase
"But ! never saw any stock" pro-
tested the landlady. you said some
thing about 1t one day. but n week
later you claimed that you had dropped
the scheme for n better thing. You
owe for ten weeks"
LET me see," mused the major-"let
me see. Did drop the Hand Organ and
Antiblizzard trust for surer thing
All, it comes back to me! Yes; we let
20 Of 1t to take up and push to success
the International Nursing Bottle mo-
popoly. Object was to control the man
ufacture and sale of all the nursing
bottles in the world. Any mother who
refused to buy one of our bottles had
to feed her infant from trough. Each
and every one of our bottles was pro-
vided with squirt gun, and when the
infant wasn't filling up on milk he was
squirting at flies and developing his
craftsmanship. That monopoly was
capitalized Mt S5O.O00OO0, believe.
You were let in on the ground floor.
AS my lundlady took you in first Of
ALL My dear woman, If your dividends
on that stock"-
But / haven't had any. That was
another of your schemes that busted"
The major locked Mt her for mo-
ment in doubt and perplexity. but then
his face cleared, and, reaching for her
hand, he shook it heartily and exclaim-
ed:
my dear woman. what business
head you have ON your shoulders
what head! 1t is no wonder that
your landlord never has to come twice
for his rent and that the fame of your
table has spread abroad through the
land. Let me assure you that | am not
only satisfied with everything up to
date, but l mean to continue on with
you inde6nitely-for years and years"
"But you must pay. l can't run my
house unless my boarders pay"
"While perfectly assured that the lp-
ternationsl Nursing Bottle monopoly
would pay 20 per cent dividends" said
the major as he walked about. 1--WE de-
cided to DIR op 1t for a better thing. Iou
must know the difference between 20
and 40 per cent profit - you surely
must"
"Of course | do"
"Then | needn't so into details. You
Will see at once why we went into the
Physical Pick and AK Handle syndicate.
II was the difference between 20 and
AZ per cent. That organization was
perfected only three days ago, and
have seized the earliest opportunity 10
talk with you about it, You are to
come in OH the ground floor. When
Major Crofoot gets hold of a good
thing. he remembers his friends. Not
only have you as my landlady fed and
lodged me on the best in the land,
but
"But you are behind ten weeks" she
put In.
But, my dear woman, you did not
stop there. You showed your confidence
In my integrity by allowing my indebt-
edness to accumulate until it has final.
ly reached the figure of $40. Where
can such another landlady be found?
Who Will point me out another such
case of financial confidence? But you
shall be rewarded. People who repose
trust In Major Crofoot cast their bread
upon the waters to have 1t returned
20 times over. You will remember
that this is an interview of my own
seeking. Had l not sought it you
would have let the bill run on for
weeks ana months yet"
mo, I wouldnt!' exclaimed the wo-
man. ''l've been trying to catch you
for the last two weeks!'
But sought the interview" Sc.
renely continued the promoter. II
brought about this meeting in order
that we might balance the books. My
dear woman, you ara a stockholder In
the Physical Pick and AK Handle trust.
You are in on the ground floor. have
set aside for you $4,000 worth of stock
at 10 per cent of It's face value. That's
$1,000. You know how 1t is when
man strikes a blow with pick or AK.
He grunts. We make all our handles
hollow. They do the grunting and save
the mans vitality-makes the labor 10
per cent easier, and every laborer
wants to work IL hours per day. In
six months we shah he supplying the
world profit of 10 cents In every han
die and 1,OOO,00o,0o0 used every year."