Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1900-11-14

The dominant sex: He-"You haven't
the brain of Il goose she-"Haye
ouy'-Indianapolis Press.
Irish cook Ito milkmam What
makes you come so early of late? You
used to be behind before. Life.
May-"Algy aud Pamela had a fall.
ing out last night" Clarence-"What
was the cause?' Maya hammock"
Harlem Life.
Pretty big: "Blowhard has big
opinion of himself" "How blg?"
'Well, he's beginning to imagine he's
annoyed by camera fiends." Puck.
Mother (at the door)-If you children
are not quiet in five minutes YOU will
have to so to bed. Smah Voice (after a
pause)-What time is it now! Judge.
"Did he gain anything by his ylslt to
the Paris Exposition" "Yes; he saws
he gained n better appreciation of the
Chicago Worlds Fair. Chicago Post.
Sister-in-law-"How like his father
the baby Isl" Mother-"He's certainly
like him In some ways. He generally
keeps me up half the nightv'-Punch.
Nimrod-"Pat, did you ever catch
frogsT Pat-"Faith, an OF did, SIR"
Nimrod-"What did you bait with?"
Pat-"Begorry, Oi bate 'em with a
shtlck. News.
Of His Mind. Didn't you feel dread
fully when you lost your gold-headed
umbrellaT' mo; I'd expected to lose 1t
Tor so long that was glad when 1t was
one.'-Chicago Record.
''Your Uncle Toms Cabin seems like
brand-new play "Of course; we've
fixed 1t up so Eliza crosses the Ice on
an automobile, chased by lot of Box
ers.'-Detroit Free Press.
Provision for the future: Mrs. Bon
ney-"Slx motherless children, you say?
And can't you find work?' Tramp
oh, they're not old enough for that
yet, ma am. Brooklyn Life.
Did it with a slam: II am willing to
do anything" said the applicant for
work. "All right" said the hard-heart-
ed merchant; please close the door be-
hind you when you go out."-Somer-
vile Journal.
Might Have Been Worse: 'Ioo bad,
old man, about your wife running
away. "Oh, it might have been worse.
l wonder that she did not take me
along to look after her trunks."-In-
dianapolis Press.
He helped him out: "And your STEP
father told you to get out into the
world and earn your own living? He
should have given you helping hand"
HE gave me a helping oot."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
In Memoriam: Il presume you carry
a memento of some kind in that locket
of yoursY Precisely; 1t is lock OF
my husbands hair" But your hus-
band is still alive" Eyes; but his hair
is all gone" ."-Tit-Bits.
Safe: Mrs. Won Blumer-"Dear, dear,
l dropped my diamond ring off my fin
ger this morning, and | cannot find 1t
anywhere" Won Blumer-"It's all
right; l came across it in one Of my
trousers pockets. ."-Bazar.
Vocal Possibilities: DO you think,
professor" said a musically ambitious
youth, that l can ever do anything
with my voice?" "Well,' was the eau
tious reply, sit may come in handy to
holler with in case of fire."-Answers.
Are you old enough to voteY asked
the tourist in North Carolina. Il dunno
erZackly what my age is, boss" replied
the colored man; ''but kin tell you dis:
allus was old enough to know better
dan to try to vote. e."-Washington Star.
A Peaceful Exit: Did you have any
words with your mistress which caused
you to leave your last placer" 'Niver
wor-rd. Sure, an OF locked her in the
bathroom, and tux all me things, and
shipped out as quiet as yez plase."-
Bazar.
Its shape: "What is the shape of
ship going to pieces on stern and rock
bound coastr asked Gaswell of Du-
kane. "Very bad shape, l should say;
what shape would you call it?" "A
wrecktangle" = Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph
"You told me to come and begin work
to-day" said the new boy. "Oh, yes"
replied the druggist you may begin
by catching flies and putting them on
those sheets of Sure Catch Fly Paper
we're displaying in the window
Philadelphia Press.
| Artless Thing: Charming Maiden-
Then they went to WoOzey's, did they?
, All, that's delightful place. When n
friend asks me to go to Woozey's
know he must think an awful lot of me.
for they serve the most elaborate and
expensive luncheons in the city. Help
} less Youth-Let's go to Woozey's, Miss
Quickstep.-Chicago Tribune. >
Father meanngly)-Who is the lazi-
est boy in your class, Tommy? Tommy
. i don't know, pa. Father--I should
: think you would know. When all the
others are industriously studying or
writing their lessons who il II sits idlv