The sun., 1900-08-05
eor EVEN WIN TRs CHAMPION LIAR.
Natives Of Anityvilie Arosssd by the Ease
with which He Beat Their Best stories.

AMTYvItIE. L. j., aux "e
| OF this town are like all 0aul. inssmuoh as uiey
! are divided into three parts There ~ inc
| part devoted to business pursuits. comprising
the industrious natives and commuters. the part
made ND Of independently wealthy summer
residents and that most interesting ana eA-
tensive part made up Of independently lazy
/ natives. In consequence Of this dasshcauoh
| every newcomer to the town Is at once prop
| er,y tagged and labelled for future reference
But sometimes there are dihiculues In the way
of classi tying. and the result is much gossip aho
some annoyance TO the third class VINO 20 no'
care to bs dlsquisted about anything
This season they have been much troubled
| about A newcomer who refused TO be olassed
! and seemed intent on nocking by himself al
| q UNIQUE and untrammelled liar. but at last
thew are even with him and their Joy is great
| He has been the subject Of practical joke
that can only be wiped out by the liberal apph-
cation Of beer in the right spot
But before telling the joke II may De well 70
explain some Of tho things that justified such
extreme measures To begin with. he had
| moved into town too early In the spring to be
a true summer resident. and as he apparently
, did nothing and had no visible means OF Sc
curing credit 1t hardly seemed wise to class him
an n native To increase the guessing he oc-
rasionally became afflicted with spasms OF
comrnuting and went into the city every day.
And whom he talked 1t was only TO cap the big
gest stories they could push up against him.
One night after his arrival the corner gro
cary gang began To regale him with their best
stories Of shooting on the Great South Bay.
Thry each told their best stories and led up to
the crowning lie Of the locality which tells Of
q cagy old hunter who always goes out to shoot
wild geese with repeating rife
You know Of course that wild geese fly In
the shape of a letter v" said the prime liar
"Oh. yes" said the newcoiner cheerfuuy.
-Well. Amxi Ketohester used to have his de-
coy goose 90 placed that when the wild ones
were lighting he could send bullet along osne
leg of the and then whom the birds swung to
get away he would send second bullet through
the second leg. and he never missed gettn
every bird in every flock that came honkin
along"
We'll, I suppose that way IL all right for
wild geese, said the newcomer. but 1t amt
patch on what used to do with wild ducks up In
the Canadian Northwest when the Canadian
Pacific Railroad was being put through.
was employed by gang OF 200 men TO keep
them In rations, and tell you had to hustle
until noticed the way that wild ducks tower
up into the air as soon as they are scared. You
have all noticed II. l suppose.
They all acknowledged that they had. for
wild ducks on tho Great South Bay have record
for towering at the rate OF hundred feet
second when the hunter rises in the blind and
then flying three different directions at once
at the rate Of two miles minute.
WELL when / got onto that hunted up
place where there was tree on each side OF
stream where the ducks we're plentiful. Then
l put out my decoys and stretched q hshnet
across between the trees about twenty feet
from the ground. When everything was ready
/ got into my blind and waited. 1t worked
lust as thought IL would. for when l showed
myself to the ducks when they we're lighting
they lowered right up into that net and all / had
to do was to take one of those pruning shears
that are fixed on long pole and snip on the
heads OF the ducks and let them tumble down
into my little boat. OF course that way OF
getting ducks could hardly be considered sporty.
but when man has couple OF hundred mouths
TO provide for. and all those mouths capable Of
cusslns. he can't be so all-hred nice about
game laws and such things"
The disgusted hunters rolled on the boxes
and barrels at the conclusion Of this yarn and
passed out into the night. The next time he
paralysed them was with story about man
eating shark that had acquired the liquor habit
by eating convivial fishermen, and how he
finally caught him by cumming for him with
demijohn OF whiskey, As might be expected,
he gave himself airs after downing all the local
liars In this way. and that Is what makes his
One night last week he went to the store look
inQ very much the worse for wear and IN reply
hlE
he was suffering from malaria.
Probably II Is the water that Causes IL.
said sympathetic listener. r.,.,.
That's was ! was thinking myself, SAID the
newcomer Does any one know how long the
house am in was vacant before Gamer"
Fully a year" said some one. 49,
Then that's what's the matter. Ihe water
In that well Is stsgnant and II ought to be
pumped out"
Several men almost fell of their seats at this
remark. but the prime aaI: & whose WHO sTesv
You are dead right there; It's no wonder SIeisr
have malaria Hng YOU ont hG? It's
a wonder you haven't got something worse"
We'll IN just have that, attended to to-mor-
row" and the newcomer ieit the gang 10 mug
Next morning that guileess stranger went
out and hired man TO come ana pump Ou, MS
we'll Ths man areSa M sS 20 TUe OF OF e one Who
knows the habits OF the people he failed TO pIt
In an appearance After kicking for a couple
OF DAYS the new conner got mad and went around
for a whole day hiring every man who seemed
to need work, In the hope that at least one would
show up on the following morning But ne
result was the same. No one came lhet. IKE
the lark In that excellent fable IN the old school
reader he decided to do the work himself
Getting up with the earliest commuters, he
took down an eaveuongh nom the side or
hi, cottage and fixed II so that 1t passed iron,
the jump over the sink out through the bnck
door Then he started to pump, me lump
up u pailful Of water In about twenty-five
strokes Before noon the stranger was stripped
TO the limit and pumping Tor dear HE.
His little pump kept right on cheerfully spit
ting up water and showed no signs oi sucking
air. Bsters developeo on his palms and
with one hand and then with the other. Then
he held both hands stin and jumped up and
down as he used to when boy In the country
working an old-fashiOned churn. But still
there appeared to be no limit to the water
In his well But he 10 gritty man and hav-
that well dry II 1t cost leg just, how long
for the gang got thirsty In the evening and
came up to the house. where they could hear
the pump churking mon0tonously. The prime
llar knocked at tho door and the newcomer
"Well. what is it'" he snarled.
."Oh. nothing to get mad about. said the
visitor suavely. but ! Thought you might
in what y0u are doing"
"Breaiins the law. What are yon talking
about? Can't pump out my own well without
Its being any body else's business"
Il don't know about that said the other
In a concilatory tone. You see the Brooklyn
haa aaI thA IA