St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-06-02
REVERSING THE PROCESS.
Billmore How to Successfully Pro-
pose to a Young Woman.

/ BtIImOre HOW IN SuCceNStuIly FfO~
pose 10 = Young Woman.
Harold Fillmore, arc you asking me
to be your wife"'
/ II think what have been saying &
you is fairly open to that interpreta
ton. Maud Wintergreen. Didn't l dc
It right?"
She tapped her foot on the floor i'm
patiently.
NO. sir
''vhere did i miss it," he asked
humbiy.
"Eserywhere. You seemed to be
hedging. You tried to shoot so as to
bit if / were a deer and to miss if
should prove to be
''0h. but you are dear. you know
1 Don't interrupt me. sir. When
you propose to woman. propose to
4 her. I've great mind to show you
how il ought to be DONE" ~
Il wish you would take the whole
business off my hands. Maud. I'm no
good at it. and I'll promise to say the
right word when you've"
| Don't be a coward as well as a
bnngler. young man. Listen, now. !
am the love-stricken youth"
"All right. You're Harold Billmore." !"
Not at all. This is purely imper-
sonal affair. You are the coy maiden"
"Yes, I'm Maud Wintergreen. Go
on"
"Don't be any sillier than you are
naturally. Desiring to enthrone my
self in the heart Of young woman 1
first"
THAT sounds too much like giving a
newly initiated candidate in a secret
society the proper directions for en-
tering lodgeroom. But 60 on"
If you interrupt me again with any
remarks like that, Mr.. Billmore, this
lesson will come to an end. Begin by
no, sir, sit little farther away. You
are acting entirely out of character"
so was. ! humbly beg your par
don. i forgot. Go on"
IF you want to marry girl go and
tell her so in manly way. Don't you
suppose. if she has any gumption. she
has found out your little secret long
before you have made up your mind to
speak?'
Then you have known all the time
Maud, that L"
y .'Once again, sir, keep yaYr distance
and let me do the talking"
Then tell me just what I ought to
haxe said. Maud-that's dear girl"
swell. remember. now, / am sup
posed to be a young man making dec
laration of love to young woman. i
say to her: Lucy or 'Mehitabel,' as
the case may be"
mo, no! You say to her: Maud
/ insist on that"
Let it be Maud, then, il it will keep
you quiet. But this is only supposi-
titious case. just the same 1 don't say
to her: Maud. do you believe in love
at first sight?' or Maud. do you think
you would marry the right fellow If he
ever came along?' Nor do i put my
arm on the back OF her chair as if by
accident"
Il didn't know was doing that.
Maud"
Take your arm away from the back
Of this chair, sir. Neither do hem and
haw-"
20. but didn't do that! i may have
gasped little. but what could you ex-
pect from a fel-'
Il think I could stand up squarely
before her. like . man. as | am doing
now-sit down. sir! You are the listen
er in this conversation and /
should look her straight in the eye, like |
. man. and say to her: Lucy"
NO. no. Maud"
Maud. then. for the sake of the il |
lustration. Maud, 1 love you!' |
''But how would that sound? Maud.
l love you! Sit DOWN."
4 should say: Maud, love you!
VIII you be my wife,"
Maud, Il love you! VIII you be my
wife,"
"Yes. that is what | should say, sir.
If wanted girl to marry me-"
The young man bounded to his feet.
every good" he said. *That is what
YOU would say if you were Harold Bill
more! Now listen to mel"
"But protest."
.'Stand right there! Don't sit down!
I'm doing the talking. You. speaking
Tor Harold Billmore. have said you
loved me. and have asked me to be your
wife. ]. speaking for Maud. Winter
green"
THAT isn't fair. now. told you"
Il know what you told me = as the
Young man. Now I'm acting as the
girl. For all practical purposes / am
Maud Wintergreen. / would like to
'ay to that awkward youth: Harold.
have known for long time that you
owed me. Do you think / would have
accepted your attentions month after
month if did not intend at last"
"Yeu have no right to say anything
ike that. Is girl supposed to take
I for granted"
'Don't interrupt me. have not
inished my answer yet. Harold re-
,ly. You are good and worthy young
nan You may not know exactly how
o make proposal of marriage. in the
most approved form. on account of
ack of previous practice. but your
leart is right. Here is my answer
will whisper it in your ear: Yes. Har-
Id. l will be your wifen"
Then of a sudden. says the Chicago
tribune. there was lightning change
i characters. and Harold Billmore
ras the young man again. II
His arm stole around her waist. her
cad slowly sank on his shoulder, he
ent his head downward. and
p! P-ff.
A Page from Macbeth.
Talk about numbering Sleep"