The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1900-01-31
CHATS AND SKETCH ES
About Town and Elsewhere.

ADOub lOMn anu ElSeMHcTts
Condolences of great minds.-Rab-
elais makes a preacher compare the
sound of convent bell to that of
fox's tail in fur cap. Aud the Rev.
DE-. Backus, President OF Union Oh.
lege, coming into chapel after the bell
had stopped, was heard to remark,
soto Uoce, THAT bell don't make any
more noise than lambs tai in fur
cap"
The five points of Calviuism" have
been thus defined:
l. If you seek Religion you can't
find it.
2. If you find it you don't know it.
3. Ii you know it you han't got it.
d. If you've got it you can't lose it.
5. If you lose it you never had it'll
-.
In the pslmy days of Calvinism a
candidate was being examined for the
Presby erian ministry. The examin-
ers were Rev Drs Smith and Jones;
the former strict Cslvinist, and the
latter an "Arminau." The young
man had passed well, and DR.. Smith
said to DIR. Jones, II will now put the
test question, and if he answers cor
rectly shall be satisfied" Tu ping
to the candidate, he demanded, care
you willing to be damned for The glory
of God?" The young man hesitated,
stammered, and failed to answer.
CDR. Smith," said the other, "let me
put the question" II have no objec.
tion," said DR.. S., "to your putting it,
but shall insist on its being answered
as l have put it," "Well,' said the
other, "let me put mine" And 30 he
asked, "Young man, are you willing
that DIR. Smith should be damned for
the glory of God?" 81 havn't the
slightest objection in the world" re-
piled the candidate.
-
Apropos of nothing: Isn't it about
time for the city authorities to issue a
statement about the alleged case of
restitution across the river? Accord
ing to the "Manifold Letter Writer"
(whose postage-bill would support a
small family,) the clergy, churches,
and citizens of Montpelier are sitting
idly by, while person of rank, in re-
duced circumstances, is dying of cold
and hunger. II this is true, it is dis
grace to our civilization. But if it is
true that the innumerable begging let
tiers bring in a handsome sum, then
something should be done to clear the
good name of our community; and if
false pretenses are being used to raise
money, that should be looked into.
We are under the impression that
there's law about that.
70
Brevity is said to be the soul of wit.
If this is 80, then Talleyrand, the great
French diplomaist, was wit par eT-
cellence. A man who had opposed
Taleyrand in politics, and had led,
moreover, VIGOROUSLY prodigate life,
sent for him during fit of hypo-
chondria, and complained to the diplo-
matist that he was Suffering the tor
ments of the damned! "Deja?"-(Al-
ready?) said Talleyrand
To lady who had just lost her hus-
band, Talleyrand addressed a note of
coincidence, in tWo words: "Oh! Ma
dameW In less than year she mar
ried again, and then his letter of con-
graduation was "Ahl Madame!"
81
When Lord Dudley of England mar
ried a rich and beautiful lady who had
been courted and Tilted by Lord Fowls,
in the height of bis connubal felicity
Lord Dudley wrote TO the Duke of
Dorset: "I'm the happiest dog alive,
Buckley" To which the Duke replied,
"Every dog must have his day, Dorset"
Brevity, by some, is declared to be
the soul of speech. If this be so,
then the Dutch State Senator who W 8
presiding at a Washiugton's birthday
celebration in Pennsylvania was an
orator. Rising from the chair of state,
he thus remarked: "Mine Fellow Citi.
zens-Seventeen hundred and seventy
six years ago this y, General George
Washington-whom l wear in my but
ton-hole-diedl'
There is "a fitness of things" which
was forcibly illustrated in the location