davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
HE PROBABLY PASSED.
plicant for Examination for
Color Blindness.

In railroad circles a new story is going the
rounds, says the Kansas City Star. The
Burlington not long since issued an order
requiring all its section foremen to report to
an oculist on a certain day and have their
eyes examined. One afternoon after those
present had undergone the examination
and the eye doctor was about to close up
for the evening messenger boy rushed IN
with small package neatly tied up in tissue
paper and which proved to be glass eye.
The following and evidently hurried scrib-
bled note was attached:
"Quincy, Ill.-Oye inspector: Dear Sur:
The day befoor yesterday, at nune, / got
word to cume down and have me ise looked
into for culur blindness as We call it. had
forty-fve ties and ten rales to put down be-
Won't the sand cut, an as jerry Sullivan. an
Dominick Coolly hav bin indishposhed since
the wake that was holded the ded corpus
of Danny doherty, me hands wor tue short
to spare me- Twas lucky that the rite oyee
that wuz first in me he'd were nocked out
wild pix, an me glass oye, that is purfect
fgger NV the oye that was not put out, is
sint to you fer denomination. l cud. spare
the glass oye better than the oye IN me he'd,
an if she is euler blind III git me one what
amt Yours thruly, Mike Donohue.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19

within something less than eight min
utes Mr.. Jobson had 20 of her matches
over on his side of the table, and his
face was laced with expansive smiles.
Easy, easy, my DEAR" said Mr.. job
son, indulgently, after catching Mrs.
Jobson in a peculiarly raw bluff, in
which she tried to chisel him out of
jackpot he opened himself, after she
had drawn four cards. you'll find
it just as well, at first, to play for
what your hand is worth, and no
more. Bluffing's one of the fine, in
side points of the game, and it's only
done by old-timers who know how to
measure up their opponents, and to
whom the ordinary bluffless game of
poker is only baby-play. Just you play
for what your hands are worth, and
maybe your feminine luck'll pull you
through-although I am constrained
to renew my offer to cash every
match you possess at the expiration
of the stipulated time with a brittle
new dollar of the realm"
1t happened to be Mrs. Jobson's deal
just then. She picked up her cards
and studied them quite closely for a
long time, until Mr. Jobson's impa-
tient 'Well?" seemed to arouse her.
"Well, suppose l may as well play
for one match" said Mrs. Jobson,
doubtfully, with finger at her lip,
''although-did you say that if the
cards run in sequence-that is, three,
four, five, six and seven-you call it
a straight?''
"Yes," said Mr.. Jobson, inwardly
gloating, for he had pat full hand.
''Well, I'll see what L can draw"
said Mrs. Jobson, discarding one, but
Mr.. Jobson raised it before the draw,
and she reluctantly stayed along.
"It's your bet," said Mr.. Jobson,
after Mrs. Jobson had served her.
when he said he'd plan along with the
ones he held.
Mrs. Jobson hesitatingly put one
match in the center of the table.
Lets see," said Mr.. Jobson, that
leaves you with 30 matches, doesn't
it? Well, I'm sorry, my dear, but I'll
just tap you. Put them all in
Mrs. Jobson pushed all her remain
ing matches into the pot, with an ex-
preston of quiet poignant misery on
her face. Mr.. Jobson counted out 20
matches from his pile, and then start
ed to haul the whole pile down.
king full, my DEAR said he, with
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
DaIDS!s DED9Ie Of Of PBET|Dg BnI7|5g tc5s7s1 toE9ZeE
The Cuban Affair.

Postmaster General Smith is now
squirming to dodge responsibility for
the Cuban postal scandals. After four
weeks Of public discussion of that
rauseating affair he comes to the front
with a claim that he recommended re-
trenchment and reduction of eXpendi-
lures as far back as last January. Al
though this is evidently an after
thought on the part of Mr.. Smith, it
might be accepted with better grace
were he not guilty of an outrageous at
tempt to mislead the public as to the
extent of the Cuban defalcations. In
an authorized interview he states that
these defalcations will be found to be
less than 100000. In making this
statement he knowingly and purpose
ly ignores the fact that Neely and his
confederates stole $500, 900 worth of
stamps and disposed of them and that
the $4,000 of defalcation is in excess
of the stamp stealing referred to. Mr..
Smith further ignores the fact that for
nearly year Rathbone, the head of the
Cuban postal service, was given abso-
lutely unlimited authority and that he
failed to make a single one of the
monthly reports for which the regula-
tions called. Mr.. Smith also ignores
the fact that under his control several
scores of postal employees have been put
in office and retained there without any
warrant of law. 1t is also a further
fact that a treasury expert who dis
covered and called attention of his su
perior officers to these irregularities
was promptly reduced from $4,000 to
$1,000 and warned that if he dug any
deeper into these matters he would be
discharged.
But Postmaster General Smith need
not feel lonely nor humiliated. There
is not department under this admin
istration which cannot develop rotten
ness quite equal to that Of the post
Office department. The only anxiety
of the thieves and looters is that they
shall make the books balance. No mat
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
AN UNEXPECTED RESULT.
1t Was the Mother and Not the Daugh.
ter Who Accepted His Com
pIiments.

"Say," said the man with worried look,
edo you remember giving me lot of ad
vice on how to conduct my own love affairs
about two months ago."
"Yes,." replied the maj. with the wise ex-
preston, relates the Baltimore American. :
'Told rue if l wanted to win the girl /
should make love to her mother?"
'Uh-hph."
"Said Il l could get the old lady on my
side all had to do was to toddle around
with ring and say: 'When? to the girl." !"
The wise man nodded.
"Said for me to compliment the mother
on her youthful appearance" continued the
worried man, "and give her jolly about
how sad 1 was that the young ladies of the
present were not to be compared with
those of the past?" 49,,
eyes. Yes. You won the girl, | suppose?,,
eyes, 1 did-not The old lady has sued
her husband for divorce and me for breach
Of promise"
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
FIGURES SHOW
DfEcOntent with the Administration
Made Manifest by Recent
State Returns.

The political complexion of the next
house of representatives is problemat-
ical. In the present house the repub-
licans are in a majority of 26 over the
combined opposition. Of the total
membership, 43 were elected by plur-
alities of 1000 or less, of whom "a are
republicans, Is democrats and four
populists. These republicans were
elected as follows: Indiana, four; llli-
nois, three; California, Iowa, Maryland
and West Virginia, two each; Alabama,
Kentucky, Massachusetts, Minnesota,
New Jersey, New York, North Carolina,
Ohio and Virginia, one each. The dem
ocratic list is as follows: New York,
four; Kentucky, Ohio and Pennsyl-
vania, two each; Illinois, Maryland,
Massachusetts, North Carolina and Vir-
ginia, one each. Of the populists, two
are from Nebraska and one each from
Kansas and North Carolina. 1t will be
noted that for the republicans the
greatest number of close districts is in
Indiana, and for the democrats in New
York
Expansion, the trusts and the war
tariff will come up for discussion, and
republicans must be prepared with
both offensive and defensive tactics.
While the republican party is appar-
emily in a better position in the ex-
treme west than it was in 1896, the
situation in the north and middle west
is sufficient to cause concern. The
sound money democrats were willing
to support Mckinley or Palmer in the
last campaign rather than permit Bry-
an to become president, and to inaugu-
rate a free silver policy. These demo
Gratis are now hostile to Mckinley and
not so averse to Bryan since congress
deprived the secretary of the treasury
of the privilege of disturbing the gold
standard. The disposition of the sound
money men may not affect the electoral
vote of the eastern states, but it is like
ly to cut some figure in the congress
sional elections. There seems to be
considerable discomfort with the adj
ministration in such states as Ohio,
Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Iowa and
Minnesota, growing out of the colonial
questions Republicans may treat this
with disdain, but if they ignore it they
may awake on the morning after the
election to an unpleasant realization.-
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
Upset His Plans,

did you ask papa?" she questioned,
eagerly.
''Yes, and it's all off," he responded,
as one in a dream.
''Why, did he refuse?"
"NO, but he said when | asked to
take you away from him L was asking
to take away the light of his life; +;
that the home without you would be
a prison cell"
well, all papas say that, you big,
tender-hearted fellow
Il know" he responded, huskily,
'but it isn't that
''What is it, then?"
Cant you see? He expects me to
take you away from home, and |
wouldn't have the nerve after he
talked like that to stay-and- -er-
well, don't you see?"
Il see," she answered, coldly.-In-
dianapolis Sun.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
Wanted-An Americon svstem

Instead of a system which would
chain our nation to the gold standard
and compel it to participate in all the
disturbances which come to European
nations. we demand an American fnan-
cial system, made by the American peo-
pie for themselves. to be secured by the
immediate restoT alton of the free and
unlimited coinage of gold and silver at
the present legal ratio of sixteen to
one, without waiting for the aid or con-
sent of any other nation.-Extract
from Platform Adopted by Nebraska
Democratic Convention.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
ssmbo and the Freshman.

An American writer tells good story of
his college days. 1t relates to a negro, gar
dener, jolly fellow. with whom the boys
used to have considerable sport. Sometimes
One day in spring Sambo had been burning
the college green in order to get rid of the
old withered grass. A freshman came along,
and. thinking to have some fun, shouted:
"Say, there. Sambo, you ought not to burn
that stuff
"Why" inquired Sambo. -
Because" replied the freshman, "it'll
"WelI, massa,' retorted Sambo, "dat's all
right. Yes, dat's all right. Never you fear;
dat ERE grass'll come up and be as green as
you areI"-London Answers.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
Singing the Evening Hymn.

The following words are given
verbatim as spoken by an old woman
in the parish on the occasion of my
first visit soon after [ became rector:
"The old man and me never go to bed,
sir, without singing the evening
hvmn. Not that I've got any voice
left. for / haven't, and as for him, he's
like a bee in bottle; and then he
don't humor the tune, for he don t
rightly know one tune from another,
and he can't remember the words,
neither: so when he leaves out word
I puts il in. and when | can't sing
dances, and so we gets through IL
somehow w.''-"Lighter Moments" by
Bishop Walsham How.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
AN OLD MANS DARLING.

The hair is white that sweeps across
His deeply furrowed brow;
The head that once was proudly poised
Droops forward feebly now.
He swings no jaunty cane, but leans
Upon heavy stick,
And, as 1 watch him come and go,
I notice that the step is slow
Which once was light and quick.
Her hand is laid upon his arm,
And love lights up her face,
When he, with trembling gallantry,
Still helps her DER the place
Where small obstructions chance to lie,
Assists her up the stair,
And. after fifty years have run
Their course. still looks on her as one
Who needs his aid and care.
A smile oft plays around her lips
When she accepts his aid,
For only loving, gentle hands
Has Time upon her laid;
Her eyes are bright, her step is light,
But he, with ancient pride,
Must guard her and assist her still
Must be her knight-as down the hill
He totters at her side.
IS. E. Kiser. in Chicago Times-Herald.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
Too Anxious.

It was at a wedding, and as the soon-to-be
welded couple walked down the aisle of the
little church embarrassment was plainly
written on the face of both; but when, in re.
either of them knew of any reason why they
should not lawfully be joined together, there
came boldly forth from each the answer II
do" the evident embarrassment on their
part was changed to one of real on the part
of the clergyman.-Harper's Monthly.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
Rook Agent with an Inspiration.

Irate Gentleman (angry at being dis
turbed You book canvassers make me so
angry with your confounded nerve and i'm
pudence that | cannot find words to express
my indignation.
Canvasser Dumping with enthusiasm)-
Then, sir, am great help to you. have
here the very thing you need-a dictionary
of the English language, containing all the
words and slang phrases known, and only
two and six. Take it, and you will never be
at loss to express yourself again.-Ciga.
rptte.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
Joke Was on the Lawyer.

Barrister-I was deceived in regard
to that man whom | defended on a
charge of embezzling half million.
Friend-You found he was guilty?
Barrister-No, confound it. He was
innocent, and hadn't a ha'penny to
paw me with.-Tit-Bits.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
"ITs YOUR BET" SAID MR.. JoBsoN.

'ITS YOUR BET" SAID MR.. JOBSON.
a smile, spreading out his cards, land
it's only 25 minutes since we started
to"
II win, don't I?'' said Mrs. Jobson,
innocently, showing her four sevens,
and Mr. Jobson's jaw fell.
Tried to lead me to believe you
were drawing to a straight, hey?" said
he, as Mrs Jobson drew down the
matches.
"Well, isn't that part of what you
call bluffing?" asked Mrs. Jobson, with
a twinkle in her eye.
"Huh!" was all the reply Mr.. job
son vouchsafed.
Two minutes later, on his own deal,
Mr.. Jobson caught two pairs, aces up
on sevens Mrs. Jobson caught an
other one to her pair OF fours in the
draw, and she displayed them when
the showdown came, with all of Mr..
Jobson's matches in the center of the
table. Then she smiled merrily.
"a hundred dollars, please, sir" she
said, reaching out her hand.
Mr.. Jobson rose from his chair with
great dignity.
Madam" said he, looking at her
sternly, "far be it from me to wrong
fully accuse you. But when, in a
spirit of good nature, 1 suggested
about han an hour ago, that we might
derive mutual entertainment if |
taught you the value of the hands in
poker, L was not aware that you were
already an expert at the game-that
in brief, Mrs. Jobson, you were moth
ing more nor less than what is known
a short-card player L will not ven
l O hazard to
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
A Shaky Sysfe0n

If our money system is so shaky as
10 be affected by an English reverse in
South Africa, tell me, republicans, what
will become of it if England ever takes
a ration of her size and goes at it in
the same way?--W. j. Bryan.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
n.nk Notes WON'T Do.

If we have money enough, why have
we been given more? Ana II we are 10
be given more why should 1t not be
real money and not somebody's prom
Use TO pay?-W. J. Bryan.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19

There is one fact which seems to
obscure the minds of many persons
on this point. That is, that new
processes now enable much more
gold to be extracted from given mines
than formerly, or. to be more exact,
make it possible to utilize ores of
lower grade. But a moments clear
reflection makes it evident that this
consideration influences only the alb
solute amount of the metal, and not
the relative quantity in successive
periods. While we may expect that
more gold will be obtained in the
next ten years than would have been
procured without these processes.
there is nothing about these processes
which tends in the least to limit f1uc-
tuations. Whether more or less gold
will be obtained depends still on
causes which are almost wholly acci-
dental, and there is every reason to
suppose that fluctuations in gold pro-
duction will be as violent, as erratic,
and as unexpected in character in
the future as they have been in the
past.-H. II. Swain. Ph. D.. in Money
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
If Is Too Swift.

The Chicago Tribune calls at
tention to the fact that the cigar
shaped railway train appears to be no
mere pipe dream.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
REVELING IN PLUMBER.
A Monopoly of Get-Rich-Quick Con-
Germs Established by New
Currency Law.

The true inwardness of the repub-
lican currency bill as a source of enor
nous profit to the banks and security
spectators is now undisguised. A
prominent Wall street banking con-
Germ unblushingly issues an open circu-
lar to the people of the United States
inviting them all to come in and sub
NIT to robbery.
SAYS the circular:
Dear Sir: The effect of the currency bill
which has recently become law is so far
reaching and seems to be so little appre-
ciated that we take the liberty of calling
your attention to it. 1t contemplateS an
augmentation of the circulating medium
which is not generally understood and the
effect of which will be, in our opinion, to
greatly enhance the value of all interest
bearing securities
The salient features of the bill are as fol-
lows:
1. The unequivocal maintenance of the
gold standard.
q An issue of $S4O, OOO, 900 of 3O-year two
per cent. gold bonds against which banks
can issue currency for the full face value
of the bonds deposited up to their capital.
3. A reduction of the tax on such circu-
lation to One-half per cent.
4. The right to increase circulation at
any time to the full amount of the capital
of the national bank issuing such circrl1a-
s. The establishment national banks
with capital as small as $4,000.
WNN Z G2htAI GS SllQU Qs &-Q0M
g. The Immediate possible payment in
cash by the government of about $50, ,O0o, 900
as a Communication for the retirement of the
present threes, fours and fives.
Herewith we present statement of the
profit in issuing national bank circulation
against the twOS at log, for the arrange
ment of which we are indebted to promi-
pent banking house in this city:
'"TWOS" AT LOG.
Table showing the percentage of income
realized on the actual cash investment:
$1,000 ''twos'' would cost at 1O6. -. S106, 900
Less circulation issued against
same .......................... 100000
Actual cash investment. ............s 5000
On which income would be received as
follows:
Interest on 100000 'twos" per annum.. 81, 900
Less tax one-half per cent. 500
Less sinking fund to retire pre-
MUM, to be improved at / per
cent. 1UI
Less expenses, cost of printing,
etc. .......................... IO0 .-o,
Net income OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. .$1,293
Equivalent to 21.55 per cent. on invest
ment of $4,000.
Add the interest on 100000 bank
notes and multiply this single transac-
ton by the entire amount refunded
and the public will perceive the extent
of the robbery for the benefit of the
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
E0SE q lR{ EaHG! 6H( iii S66IiHS d

begin an 1nVestiga ton into that mat
ter the first thing tomorrow morn
ing, Mrs. Jobson-the first thing to.
morrow morning!"
Then Mr.. Jobson climbed upstairs to
bed, and Mrs. Jobson leaned back in
her chair and smiled. - Washington
Star
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
SUBSERVIENT TO TRUSTS.
The Administration Has Shown Its
Favor for MOnOpOlistic
Combines.

The republican party is the begetter
of the greatest monopoly of all-that
which gives the home market into the
absolute control of few favored man
ufacturers The whole principle of
trusts is conceded in that action. The
various particular trusts dealing IN
specialties are only offspring OF the
general trust which the republican
party has created and tenderly fos-
tered 1t is unlikely to interfere with
them in any destructive fashion. 1t
dares not. They support its life, as 1T
supports theirs. It has no other motive
or occasion for continuance compar-
able with that of serving the mercen-
airy 4varice of the trusts 1t will go no
farther in seeming hostility to them
than they permit it to go they make
no ODDoGiHOD TO ODZ 9OTf IT nakf--De
no opposition to any sort dt Hlake-UeI
1ieve anita agonism that Will strengthen
it at election time, but their negative
will be imperative and conclusive
against any course that is dangerously
hurtful.
All persons who are well Informed in
ests in business understand this per-
fectly. A Mckinley administration
will haul down the flag in the Philip
pines as soon as it will cease to be the
protector of trusts. 1t would haul
down the flag in the Philippines if the
trusts wanted it hauled down and
would find some fine phrase Of patriot
ism and humanity for justification! OF
its ton Herald.
The issues to be decided are not
simply who is to administer the high
est office in the government for the
next four years, but what that office is
to be, and upon what principles it is
to be administered. Is the president to
be the servant of the people, or their
master? Is he is be a constitutional
president, controlled in all respects by
the rules and limitations of the consti-
tuition, or is he to be, so far as relates
to extensive and widely-spread terri
tories belonging to the United States
and more than 100000 human beings
proclaimed to be subject to our SOW
areignty and jurisdiction, an oriental
<espot, fettered by no rules of the con-
stitution (since they are held to have no
application, governing like the shah of
Persia or the negus of Abyssinia, ac-
cording to his own sweet will and
pleasure ?-Baltimore Sun.
There are but two parties this
year-the democratic and republican
and every man who withhoids his
ballot from the nominee of the Kansas
City convention bestows it upon Will
liam Mckinley, gives it for the further
enthronement of Mark Hanna and for
the subversion of every principle ka-
cred to Americars.-Lafayette Qnd.)
Journal.
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
Republican Pretense.

The hollowness of the republican pre-
tense of opposition to trusts was illus
trated by the action of the ma ajority on
the proposed constitutional amend
ment followed by the almost unani
nous vote of the house passing amend
ments to strengthen the Sherman anti
trust law.
The republicans refused to permit
the democrats to have either voice or
hand in shaping the constitutional
amendment. It's defects, its amb biguities
and it's weakness were properly shown
up by the democratic speakers, yet the
republicans were obdurate and pre-
ferred to have it considered as parti-
san proposition. AS a result the
amendment was badly defeated, as the
republicans intended it should be. La
Dor leaders went to Chairman Ray, of
the judiciary committee, and to Repre-
sentative Littlefield, of Maine, the au-
thor of the amendment, and proposed
that labor unions be specifically eX
cepted from it's operation. But they
were refused, though it was plainly
demonstrated that unscrupulous
judges could take advantage of the Ian
guage of the amendment to suppress
every labor organization in the coun-
try. 1t was also pointed out that
farmers alliance or benevolent asso-
citation could be equally brought under
the ban of judicial construction.
The republicans showed surprising
willingness to allow the Ray bill,
amending the Sherman act, to come to
o vote in the house. They were finally
coerced into accepting an amendment
proposed by the democrats excepting
industrial organizations from its opera
tion. Thus amended it went through
with practically unanimous vote, al
though several of the republican lead
ers made themselves conspicuous by
opposing the amendment referred to.
The necessity is manifest when it is
explained that the Sherman antitrust
law had been twisted by unscrupulous
judges in numerous instances to apply
to labor unions, while the trusts at
which it was aimed were permitted to
go scot-free.
But the republican willingness to
pass the bill through the house found
its adequate explanation when it
reached the senate, where Senator Pet
tigrew moved that it be placed upon
the calendar for immediate action, but
Senator Ga11inger, of New Hampshire,
a republican, moved its reference to
The Winslow mail., 1900-07-19
Actual cash investment. .....
Net income 81, 2

Add the interest on 100000 bank
notes and multiply this single transac-
ton by the entire amount refunded,
and the public will perceive the extent
of the robbery for the benefit of the
no