The National tribune., 1900-07-26
For foortecn years section boss,
An niver discharged a mon;
For the hight of my pride
Was a hand-car TO ride.
s ~ it'C 'rnIlN- nn lie the EnNnr" :"


Was a hand-car TO ride.
An it's Teddy, go lie the keyar."
don't know who was the author of the
above "pome," but he was "on 10 his job
all right, so far as section men are con,
cerned.
Perhaps some of the following skits may
explain why the section man has so many
jokes told at his expense. An autocrat OF
the most pronounced type, on his own baill-
wick, always ready and anxious 10 show
his "ath-ority," he bends in humble sub
mission to the superior power of the Road
master. The boss who rushed into the Sec
tion-house calling out, MARY Ami Mary
Ann, put on Your new rid dhreSs, the Road
masters a-comin',' reflected properly the
awe in which that official is held. Mary
AIMS practical answer was: TO the dlVll
wild the Roadmaster; sure, it's the Pay
master we want
Nothing delights the section foreman so
much as TO discover a broken rail or weak
spot in the track; then he will put out a
green flag, slow down the fast express, and
impressively motion his hand TO the dis
gusted engineer and command, go
Shlo-o-o-o-w!'
STORIES OF THE SECTION BOSS.
a section gang at the hand-car house in
the early morning. all speaking as one
man: Good mornin' boss" Good mornin.
n u.
boss" Take it off, and put it on agin':
do as l tells yezr' is good illustration of
track discipline. An excuse is always
ready for any delinquency. Not long ago
a high official of the general office decided
10 make a personal inspection on the line
He started out with 4 hand-car and had not
gone far when he saw a new track-bolt
lying on the ground. whats that bolt
doing there" he demanded sharply "Mr.
Curtis, God bless Your sowl, an did yez
find that bolt?' "Yes, l did, and | don't
want to find any more of them, either. ~
''Pon me sowl, Mr.. Curtis. had man out
tree days looking for that bolt"
Another foreman whose hand-car was
smashed by the fast passenger train, saw
The Superintendent coming up to investi-
gate. When the official reached the engine
Foreman Sweeney was smashing his
silver watch over the rail and cursing it
heartily: "Dere, dom yer, an dom the man
that made yeZ; Yell niver fule me ag'n'
Mr.. Blank, do yez moind that watch: onct
before it wint back on me, but" holding up
the battered fragments, sure twill niver
catch me agin!"
The Superintendent knew that it was
rank bluff, but the affair was so ridiculous
that he let it go. Sweeney remarked later:
Sure, S65 job bates a $50 watch"
by getting on the time of the mail train
boss had his hand-car smashed to flinders.
The locomotive front end was stove in. and
the headlight knocked off. The engineer
was indignant, and abused the section man
roundl:-, and wound up by saying: Look
at that engine" The trackman. his ewes
on the fragments of his car. replied: ''T'hell
wild Yer ould 'jine; look at the kyarr'
Mat Butler and Dannie Burke were rival
bosses on different sections. One Sunday
morning Mrs. Burke, with her by, came
TO town on the hand-car, passing over both
sections. To her friends Mrs. Burke re-
ported that "oyer Dannies section the
babby shlept all the way, ah-h-hl But
over Buthler's section the babby cried all
the way, ah-h-h!" insinuating thereby
that even the baby had cried out in protest
against Buffers rough track. The same
Dannie was somewhat susceptible to fiat
tery, and the min" of the gang utilized this