The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1900-01-15
M'KEE'S BIG INVESTMENT.
His Calf Grew Into Cow and
He Had an Elephant on
His Hands.


A problem which has caused James
Mckee, of Brooklyn, many a sleepless
night and worried him into state bor-
dering on nervous prostration was hap
PLY solved recently. The pigs in the
clover puzzle was an easy proposition
compared with the one which bothered
Mr.. Mckee, and which was also a diff
Guilty with relation to live stock. The
problem concerned the removal of
COW that had been domiciled as a calf in
McKee's back yard and had grown too
big to be taken out by way it had
been brought in or by any other avenue
of egress from the premises.
Mckee bought the calf about year
ago from a butcher who was leading it
to slaughter. Goats were common in
the quarter, and Mckee calculated that
the calf would prove an innovation in
the way of pet. So he led the little
animal home and installed it in the
back yard, to the delight of his own
children and the envy of those of his
neighbors. He took the calf through
the front door of the house and the
hallway, which is the only manner OF
getting into the yard in the rear.
This back yard is bounded on all
sides by tall tenements, and there is
not so much as an alley leading from
it to the street. But the situation OF
the, yard never entered into McKee's
calculations with respect to the future
of his new pet. One day he decided to
sell her.
A German butcher from Hunters
Point called to look the COW over. The
animal was fat and sleek and the
butcher decided to buy it.
"But how get her owid?" he asked
of Mckee, seeing only the narrow hall
way leading to the street through the
house.
Then for the first time realization
of the situation dawned upon Mckee.
''Holy smoke, but I never thought of
thatl" he gasped, gazing helplessly
about
The butcher shrugged his shoulders
Suddenly, however, a brilliant idea
struck him. He procured a tape meas
ure, took the measurements of the COW
and then measured the width of the
hall door Then he did some expert fig
uring. Finally be reached a conclusion
in the matter. He decided that if the
COW could be reduced in ayoirdupois to
a certain degree she might be showed
through the front door. So he gave in:
that the cow was not to be
fed for several weeks, and then left.
Then the neighbors took a hand in
The game. and many and divers were
The suggestions made to Mckee for get
ing the COW out of the yard. One pro-
,osed that a tunnel be dug under the
louse. another that a balloon or a der
rick be pressed into service, and still
mother that the house be moved out Of
he way. But Mckee acted upon none
if these brilliant ideas.
The COW had lost much weight. ard
vas led through the back door without
rouble, but it was still too big 10 rass
through the front door. and there il
tuck. The butcher on the outside
pulled and tugged until be got red in
he face, and the Mckee family on the
inside pushed until they were exhaust !
d. but the COW held fast in the door
Eay. Finally the butcher got an ak
nd chopped away on either side Of the
ow, and the animal AT last was
queezed through.
"The next calf that I buy" re- +
marked Mckee. wiping the sweat from s
is brow, "will be a rabbit. ."-phiiadel-
hia 7unnfrer