Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1900-08-17

l
Don't complain If you lose your tenn
per. You are probably better OH with
out 1t.
Some people hive SO much patience
with themselves that they never sue
coed in anything.
Jinks-Theress one good thing about
spoiled children. Binks-What's that?
Jinks-One never has them in ones
own house.
~ don't see what you like about this
fat. Clara" "NNell, Clarence, it is the
only one we've looked at that fits our
Navajo rug."-Chicago Record. |
n false front: PA. our new dog Is
awful d'ceitful." How. Tommyy
"vvhy, when he barks at people he
ways his tail."-Chicago Record.
Teacher tsuspiciously)-Who wrote
your composition. Johnny? johnny
My father. Tcacher-What. all of it?
Johnny-No'm: l helped him.-Truth.
Fair paintcr-l hope you don't mind
my s%ketcling in your field! Farmer
I.crd. no. missile. You keep the birds
OF the peas tettel'n n ordinary scare
crow.
Sure. Fat, and why are We wear.n'
yer coat but:onal up loike that on a
warm day loike this?" Faith, yer riv-
erence to hoide the shirt OF haven't got
oa."-Punch.
Now, honestly, Maud, didn't Jack
propose last EVENING" Why. y-e->s!
But how did you guessY' II noticed
that you didn't have that worried look
this morning."
Real Cruelty: "Oh. mummy. do come
and speak to Johnny; he's tweading on
all the worms in the garden" "How
unkind.." Yes. and he Won't let me
twead ON any."-The King.
Visitor-What was the matter with
the man they just brought in? Doctor
Stuck his head through II pane of glass
VisitotHow did he look? Doctor-His
face wore an injured expression.
Curious Villager-Ay. Sandy. am ye
wis wounded at Magersfontein? Whit
wis We struck wi? Sandy (tired of an
swering questionsh was struck wi
wonder when I kent l wisna killed.
Evidence: Friend-I suppose the
baby is fond of you: papa-Foud of
me? Why, he sleeps all day when I'm
not at home. and stays up all night just
to enjoy my socie:y!-Brooklyn Life.
Magistrate-Do you mean to say such
u physical wreck as he is gave you
that black eye? Complaining Wife
Shure. yer worship. he wasn't q physi.
eye.
Papa said Willie, "why did you
buy a go!. coat?' 10 play golf in my
son." said MIR. Willis. Did you need
it:' 'sOf course l did" 'srhen 1 need
n topcoat to play tops in. I seen ZEN
advertised"
Teacher (endeavoring to explain the
meaning of the word "larness'D-What
does your father put on the horse?
Small Boy Ciis face brighteningl-
Please. sir. e puts on all e can If e
thinks it'll win.
At the Summer Hotel: "Who is tlk1
good-looking young waiter who is toss
ing the plates across the room? Is he
q student. too!" Yes. He holds the
record in Harvale for discus-throwing."
cleveland Plain Dealer.
A Natural Reaction: Hi Tragedy
I understand the audience last night
was very cold? Lowe Comerdy-They
were at first. but when they began to
yecollect that they had paid good money
to see the show they got hot.-Philadel-
plia Press.
Earmarks of Literary Ability: Ibid
that critic write any favorable com
ment on your novel. Belindaw OF. yes;
he said my father had once met the
Prince of Wales and that we had al
ways moved in the best society."-1n-
%1ianapolw Journal.
n Feminine Butter: "And now, chill
:lren," said the teacher. who had been
.alking about military Notifications,
can any of you tell me- what is a but
tress:" 'IRease, ma'am," dried little
Willie. Swapping his fingers. SITS a
Observation-Disclosures Press.
Mrs. Brown-I must be going bach to
The city ut once; I've had three letters
srom my husband in two days. Mrs.
Gray-Why. you poor dear! l know
Just how you feel; two would be suspi-
,iousy attentfve-but three! l really
am afraid he has been doing something
very repretensilhe.-Brooklyn Life.
The following birth notice recently
appeared in the columns of a Kansas
paper: Born. to the wife of Jim Jones,
q boy. The boy favors his old dad in
several why's, viz: He is bald, lms a
red nose, takes TO n bottle like a bum
blebee to a hump of sugar, and makes a
lot of note about nothing. Selah!"-
Exchange.
The virtuous Clerk: "sign your name
here" said the chief conspirator, land
the money will be paid you ut once"
"Soo1er than let my good right hand
sign that Ubiquitous document" said