davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

This story was told recently at a
smoker given by the alumni of the
University of Michigan at Chicago.
"A young man and his wife, not long
married" said the reIator Of the Incl
dent. lived down on the South Side.
where they had pretty little two sto
ry brick. one OF their wedding pres
ents was Il large clock which told the
hours and the half hours by means Of
the cuckoo's cry instead of by the
usual chimes or the sounding of Il bell.
One night the college fraternity OF
which the man was member gave a
banquet and it was accordingly late
when he arrived ut the front door of
his home. He thought that discretion
was the better part OF valor, so that
when he got inside he began TO remove
his shoes before going zip the stairs
Unfortunately he was not very happy
in his execution OF this act. for one
Of the shoes slipped and made noise
that could be heard all over the house.
A moment later his wife's voice came
from the head of the stairway.
lis that you, CbarlesY
"'Yesh. dear
"'What time is 1t. Charlesy
bout II.
"'And then. said Charles IN telling
the incident atterward. that blamed
clock began 10 cry out. But II cuck.
coed only three times. and | had TO
stand there lbe fool and cuckoo the
other nine. detroit Free Press.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08
Arson Academy,

The winter term closed last Friday
with rhetorical exhibition by the
sophomore class at Cara bassett hall in
the evening. The most pleasing selec-
ton on the programme was the one
entitled zone from Many" being com.
posed of selected paragraphs from the
pieces that preceded it on the pro-
gramme. This was the work of the
preceptress, Miss Helen F. Simmons
The programme appears at the close of
this article. The large audience was
delighted with the dumb bell drill by a
division of young ladies and an Indian
club drill by division of young
gentlemen. These drills are regularly
performed by all the students during
recess time at the academy, but
of course the school has to be
divided into classes to produce the most
effective work. The four teachers have
worked hard and conscientiously and
successfully. The new teacher, Miss
Ida st. George, Is great acquisition,
particularly in her special department,
the French language and literature.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

Sterling is derived fIbm the name by
which the dwellers in EASTERN Germany
were known In the twelfth and thir-
teenth centuries. THEY were called
Easterlngs. The purity not only of
their money was very famous. but that
of their silver specially SO, and coiners
and silversmiths were fetched from
those parts to improve the quality of
our own manufactures.
SO far back as 1897 two counterfeit
ers, who sold spurious silver articles
bearing a simulated royal lion and the
goldsmiths marks, were sentenced to
stand in pillory at Westminster, With
their ears nailed thereto and with pa
pers above their heads setting forth
the nature of the offense for which
they were so disgraced. After this
degradation they were publicly march
ed to Cheapside, put In the pillory
there, and had each one ear cut of,
finally being conducted back to the
Fleet prison and having to pay fine
of 10 marks each.
1t seems that In recent times the rec
ord price for Elizabethan silver was
f70 los. per ounce. For old articles in
this metal the sum usually obtainable
ranges from rs to Eli per ounce, ac-
cording to the artistic workmanship
displayed on them.-London Telegraph.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08
Peace In Kentucky.

The contending parties in Frankfort,
Ky on Tuesday, reached an agreement,
which appears to be giving up of the
case by Republicans for the sake of
peace, as follows:
First-That if the General Assembly
In joint session shall adopt a resolution
ratifying their recent action adopting
the contest reports seating GOebel and
Beckham, the cuntestees, w. S. Taylor
and John Marshall, shall submit without
further protest.
Second-That all parties shall unite
In an effort to bring about such a modi-
fication of the election law as will pro-
vide for non partisan election boards
and insure free and fair elections
Third-That the conditions shall re.
main in status quo until Monday, the
General Assembly meeting and adjourn
ing from day to day until that time.
Fourth-rhat nothing shall be done
to hinder or prevent joint session of
the General Assembly for taking action
on the ratification of the resolution.
Fifth-That the state contest board
shall meet and adjourn from day to
day until Monday without taking any
action on the contests for minor state
offices. This postponement is suggested
in OF der that the action of the General
Assembly on the ratification resolution
may be first taken.
Sixth-That the state troops shall be
removed from the state apitol at once,
though with all necessary precaution
for the public safety This matter is
to be under the direction of General
Dan Lindsey of Frankfort.
Seventh-That the Republican Off.
cials and officers of the State Guard
shall have immunity from charges OF
treason, usurpation, courtmartial OF
any other such offences.
The agreement was signed by seven
leading Republicans and seven leading
Democrats.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

IAN amusing thing that we frequent
ly see at the White House." said one
of the attaches there. lis the mailing
of letters in the White House letter
box by visitors to the city. All visitors
to Washington go to the executive
mansion, and many Of them notice the
letter box In the vestibule just before
entering the east room. Some Of them
decide to mail letters there, believing
that these letters will contain the
stamp of the White House OF course
1t would be great thing for a distant
at the White House.
The other day an intelligent looking
woman, accompanied by several grown
daughters asked me to lend her a pen
ell. | beard her say, Won't it be love.
ly to mail them letter from here and
let them see that we've been to the
presidents homer She proceeded to
write for some time, secured an enyel-
ope. addressed it and then proudly
dropped the epistle in our letter box.
She went off with a radiant face. She
was sure that all her neighbors and
friends for miles around would hear OF
that letter mailed from the White
House. and she would be besieged with
inquiries on her return She'll learn
her mistake. The letter box here does
not differ in any way from those Oh
the streets. Washington Star.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08
Made IL II BuriesQue.

Franklin Fyles recalls some amusing
first night experiences in his article OH
THE Theater and Its People" in The
Ladies' Home Journal. One he relates
is of Laura Don, now dead: she had
the role of an Egyptian princess in
Fresh, the American 1t was intend
ed that she should be seriously and
sentimentally impressive, while the
late John T. Raymond. the star Of the
company, should be contrastingly com
ical as the lover But the audience
would not have 1t so. Nor was it any
thing In Miss Don's appearance, for
she was beautiful. nor In her acting.
for 1t was clever, that made the people
the author. The quick witted woman,
seeing that she could not control the
audience, resolved to humor it. by an
exaggeration of speech and manner
she turned the part into burlcsque,
and it was always after acted in that
way"
Mr.. Fyles also tells that lin 'Cleopa-
ira as produced by the late Fanny
Davenport, general should have Civ
en- to his queen an impetuous account
of a battle which he had won, But he
stood wordless. silent. stuck fast You
have come to tell me Miss Davenport
said and then went on with the MARIA
tive which he should have spoken"
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

In Iceland the natives dinner usual
ly consists of dried fish and butter
The fish is ling or cod, which, When
caught, is split open and then hung On
the lines by the seashore to dry in the
cold winds and hot sun When thus
preserved. they will keep for years.
being as hard AS the neither milestone,
When wanted for dinner the fish is
well hammered by stone mallet and
then cut up into strips. In this state
1t is eaten, but il Is said that IL
needs an lcelanders teeth To gct
through the meal The butter is not
spread on the fish, but the TWO ar,
taken alternately, first a mouthfuI of
fish, then Il mouthful of butter /,
may easily be supposed that the Ice
lander is thankful To have his jaws
well creased after every mouthtul OF
the tough luurscl
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08
Only Two Loads.

AT the close of the war" said @
southern representative today, "a great
many negroes in the south refused to
leave their old homes. My father gath
cred his former slaves about him and
told them they were free and must
leave him. Some went and others re-
manned. Among the latter was an old
darby named Eph, who swore he would
not leave, but would stay and take his
chances All right, Eph' said my fla
Their. Just take four or five acres and
go In ON the three and four plan
IAN what am dat, massa, TO de
Lawd's sakep
Why, II you raise three loads of
corn you must give me one and you
keep two.' So Uncle Eph went to work
and raised a crop. At harvest time my
father rode over the farm and noticed
that Eph had cut his corn. Seeing the
old fellow, he rode up and asked him
why he didn't do as he had agreed
about dividing the corn.
"'Well, massa, yoh said If | raised
free loads of corn | wuZ to glib yoh one
an take two loads myself, an done
only raised two loads. Washington
Times
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

II Is not alone on questions Of hand
writing that handwriting experts are
rallied upon to testify Thumb. impress
slons, around which Mark Twain In
"Puddin' head Wilson" built his ingen-
lons story, have sometimes formed
the basis of very convincing testimony.
Conan Doyle said that Caryalho's de-
auctions In the case of the robbery of
$4,000 from package of the Ameri-
tan Express company. for nicely of
reasoning and extraordinary coinci-
aence. eclipsed anything any one ever
iared put into fiction.
In 1894 Asa Guy Quincy WAS tried
On the charge of stealing large sum
Of money from the express company.
1t was proved that Quincy had opened
the safe where the package had been
placed, taken 1t out and deposited 1t In
another safe. 1t was found that d
large sum was missing.
The evidence was purely circumstan-
tial. The envelope containing the mon
ey bore upon 1t, however, thumb Inn
preston. Mr. Caryalho testified that
the impression on the envelope and
several Impressions OF Gurney's
thumb correspondent exactly and CON
tended that there were no two thumbs
In the world alike. But such evidence
was too subtle for the rural jury which
tried the case. and the prisoner was
acquitted.
1t is to be recorded as a tribute to
the accuracy of Carvalhos testimony
that Quincy soon after confessed
Chambers Journal.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

Boston Journal Now Senators and
Representatives in Washington are say-
ing that they have cause to know that
the opposition to the Frye shipping bill
is in large part inspired and paid for by
some of the subsidized foreign steamship
interests, which are In mortal dread Of
losing their present monopoly of 80 per
cent of our ocean carrying-s business
worth TO them at least $3.50 900 900 a
year. Besides their immense earnings
In freight and passenger money, Euro
pean shipowners In this contest have the
added advantage or huge subsidies from
their Governments. One single British
liue, for instance, the Peninsular and
Oriental. receives ali annual subventiOn
of 81 $50 297, or considerably more than
Is paid by our Government to all the
ships under the American flag. Two
German steamship lines divide 81 320,-
420 between them for their East Indian
service.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08
Care Of Dairy Utensils.

Never neglect the care OF the ch1ru.
Slight negligence II this direction may
cost you the price Of many pounds Of
butter.
After churn has been some time out
Of use it sh nd be Thoroughly secured
with salt and repeatedly scald-d before
being again employed.
Nothing will penetrate the crevices OF a
churu like hot water, and it neecs to be
al a boiling temperature WHEN applied
There Is no hing gained in patching up
old utensils abou, home dairy or manu-
factory. Like farming tools, the apparatus
Of a creamery or cheese factory generally
deteriora,es more quickly in value from
neglect than from practical use il It's es pc
cial sphere.
The greatest care should be taken TO ex-
puDge every item OF salt or briny water
from the iron work OF dairy utensils
Rigid dying By both an absorbent cloth
ana heat will do this satisfactorily. |
have known SIS curd mill to be so erod-
ed by rust as to be nearly ruined.
BY proper care it could have been made
to run 10 years without repairs.
1t is important 10 keep butter tools
scrupuously clean, how much more impor-
;ant is it to be rigorous in the treatment
OF milk uteusi S.
In private diaries it would be well to
emulate he methods in vogue in milk
shipping stations and creameGies.
First. after rince OF cod water, the
cans and other timed utensils are washed
i thoroughly with warm water. changing
the bath frequently 10 keep it clean
/ Now follows the coup &c grace, the
deathdesling blow to bacteria and spores.
This is the scaiding process.
Where GOOD steam pressure can be
obtained, superheated steam i, he best
agency to employ, ~hirlipg The caas
rapidly while it is apples TO every part Of
the interior.
On the farm. however, water if used
while boiling will be effective enough to
render utensils asceptic.
Do nor scald milk receptacles by pour
ing The hot water from one TO the other.
1t cools TOO rapidly to be effective on even
the second can so treated
We should always bear in mind that
the fungi and bacteria inhabiiiug milk
vessels are OF microscopic character, and
seams which appear clean to the naked eye
may in reality be tetming with millions
OF these vegetable organisms.
This subject is as important in winter
as in summer, as the dairyman who does
not consider it so will never make sue
cess at butter production in cold weather.
Treat your GARY apparatus and utensils
so well that when they finally become
useless it will not be by the erosion of
rust. but through good. honest. clearly
friction in the path OF trade.-.4mrrtan
CHiftGto,
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

We believe in politics of the party
style In its proper place but it is run to
extremes In legislation In Congress.
Hardly an important question arises but
party lines will be drawn upon it. Re-
publicans are In power in both branches
and direct legislation, but the opposi-
ton, as rule, seems to act as though it
was In duty bound to oppose every
measure coming from the party in pow
er, whether 1t is good or bad. Division
along party lines is apt 10 obtain in
committees and 10 the Senate and House.
IL Is refreshing to be informed that
there Is one measure upon which there
la no party division, In the committee at
least. That is the Nicaragua Canal bill.
The Senate committee, of which Senator
John T. Morgan of Alabama is chairman,
has reported unanimously in its favor.
The committee is made up of five Repub-
licans, three Democrats and one Popu-
list. This unanimity ought TO cause
favorable action In Congress and secure
the ultimate construction and opening
Of this important waterway from the
Atlantic to the Pacific. Our new rela-
lions with other nations and our extend
ed interests In islands in the great
Pacific, make this canal almost, IL not
quite, an absolute necessity. 1t Is a
national, not party project, and we are
glad it Ia taking this character.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08
.,errold'H wit.

The English have been accused for
so long of dullness In their humor that
several stories related of the eminent
wit Douglas Jerrold may not be out
of place as showing that the charge is
sometimes untrue. Ii appears that at
a dinner one gentleman who had been
eating a dish of sleeps head with
great gusto exclaimed as he laid down
his knife and fork. "Sheep's head for
ever. say T." There's egotlsm." said
Jerrold.
Sometimes through a Joke. Jerrold
conveyed good advice or Il word of
warming He was enjoying "A drive one
day with joyial spendthrift behind i
pair of grays. We'll. what do you
think of my graysY asked his impecu-
NOUS friend To tell you the truth
replied Jerrold, 81 was thinking more
of your duns"
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

Hon. Arthur Sewall has just returned
from Honolulu where he visited his SOD,
Harold Sewall, and was for time quar-
antined because Of the Bubonic plague
prevailing there. He is reported as say
ing, publicly, that Bryan would be re-
nominated by the Democrats and that
Mckinley would be reelected President.
wisdom for one to arrive at this conclu.
sion, but it must be strong case to
cause the Democratic candidate for vice
president of 1896, to publicly proclaim it.
1t is strong case, indeed.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08
A Difference or Opinion.

The fat man Is sure he has paid his
fare to the conductor. He is positive
on this point, because he had only
nickel, and 1t has passed from his pos
session.
The conductor Is also positive, with
no actual proof therefor that the fat
man has not contributed his mite to
swell the Golfers of the corporation
He demands the fare
The fat man for obvious reasons re-
fuses.
He announces In bleat Of rage that
he'll see the conductor and the corpora
ton elsewhere before he yields.
The other passengers are wild with
Joy. They have no particular love for
the corporation, they do not know the
fat man, and II they met the conductor
again they would not look at him
Passengers seldom do. They are loyal
Americans.
Behind the fat mans underlying
principle there is knowledge of a six
mile walk, an angry wife, cold sup
per and a neglected euchre party. He
hhhouhceS hSdln thut NJ VIII see INT
conductor elsewhere. He does.
He sees the conductor in the street.
The fat man Is with him.
The fat mans hat is in the gutter,
his coat is torn and myriad packages
are strewn over the field of battle.
The car and the conductor fade from
sight, and the fat man gathers up his
bundles for the six mile walk
VIII he sue the corporation for $500
600? He will not. He remembers that
he spen+ the nickel for a Queen Of the
Backwoods cigar.-Chicago Democrat
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

\ town that has played It's part iU
history for more than 100 years ou-l1
TO be forgiven for being II little ~ir"p,
by this time, although lis new ur-A
bors may be inclined to poke fun at it
1t Is told that Bladeu>burs gNr
chant was doing in his store one day
when little girl came in with pitcher
and asked for quart of molaS>es. The
merchant yawncd, stretched himself
opened his eyes aud then said in an in
jured tone;
well. Amt there nobody What sells
molasses in Bladensburg but me|'
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

by local applications, as they cannot reach
the diseased porti-r OF the ear. There is
only one way to care Deafness, and that
is BY constitutional remedies. Deafness
is caused by an :nhamed condition Of the
mucous lining OF the Eustachian Tube.
When the tnbe gets inhamed you have a
rumbling sound OF imperfect hearing and
when il IS entirely closed Deafness is the
result. and unless the Inflammation can be
taken out and this tube restored to its
normal condition, hearing will be destroy
ed forever; nine cases out Of ten are
caused by catarrh, which is nothing but
an inhamed condition OF the mucous sur
faces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for
any case Of Deafness Caused by catauhl
that cannot be cured by Halls Catarh
Cure. Send for circulars, free.
F. J. CHENEY y Co.. Toledo. o.
x Sid by drugg SITS, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

st. Louis Globe-Democrat Hoke
Smith, of Georgia, puts the blame for
the Kentucky tumult just where it be-
longs. when we come to look at the
state of semi-revolution that exists In
Kentucky we can not escape the con-
clusion that Goebel and his confcderates
are responsible for it," This is the judg.
ment of one of the foremost Democrats
10 the South. II is the verdict of a man
who was Secretary of the Interior in
the second Cabinet of President Cleve-
land. Ex-Secretary Smith voices the
opinion OF every sane person in the
United States, Democrat, Populist and
Republican.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

LEBANON LODGE No. 1l6 F. & A M.-ChsrIes
Farrand, Master; {. A. Ward Sec; r. g.
Dantorth. Treas. Regular meetings Saturday
on OF before the fun Of the moon.
CfDAR CHATTER No e. o. +. s. Blanche T.
Ward. Worthy HatTons Maud A. Carr SEC
Lu'y :. Hutsey. Treas. N, etings third FrlGay
evening OF each month at Masonic Hall.
QUIsNEBAssETT LODGE No Jos l. o. D =
". X. Deyereux, Noble Grand. 4. ". Wing, SEC i;
L. X. Folsom, Treas. Meetings Monday even
inRs at 80.
SOMERSET LODGE No. III REBRKAH-Mrs.
jeanette johnson. Noble Grand; Mn. Mar
arr. Recording Sec; Ms A. o Pred ric,
Treas. Meetings md and sth Friday evenings.
Echo LODGE 1903 KNIGHTS OF PYrBIAs-Leon
Tal lor, {. c; Ellis Tobey. X. of K. * s.; Z. B..
Nlcserson, Master Of Exchequer. Tuesday even
ings at X r. Hall.
OLD POINT LODGE No 314 |. o. c. TN c.
Holt, {. T.; W. + frown Sec; Alfred futile.
Treas Regular meetings Thursday evenings IN
Grange Hall.
SOMERSET GRANGE No. Il p Of Holm
Pierce, aster. l.. H Tobey, sec; Elem Miller.
Treas. Meetings Thursday evenings on or be
fore full OF the moon and two WEEKS after
BATES Posr No. Is g. A. R.-stewafd Wiug,
Commanders II. II. Cross, Adj; II. + Hale.
Quartermaster Meetings nrst Tuesday even
ings in Grange Hail.
THE VILLAGE IMPROVEMENT socfETY-Mrs
| j. W Hathaway, Pres; Mrs Fannie Husses,
Sec; Mrs ElecIa =. 1obey. Treas. Meetings
nrst and third Friday afternoons Of the month
OosooLA ASSEMBLY, No. 81, Pythian SISTER
hood-Mls. H. burgess, { c Mrs. l.. II.
Burgess. X OF Il. K <. II IS 4. S Jeweft. Mis-
| ire S 81 Exeh, quer Meetings every other
Monday evening al h. Z hall.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

The latest information from South
Africa is a special despatch received at
London frem Spearman's camp, dated
Wednesday, states: "Our further adj
vance is at the moment prevented as the
Beers eufillade us from their positions
on Spion kop and Doorm kloof. Our
casualties, although estimated at $50,
are tlifling, considering the great i'm.
portance of the movement just conclud.
ed" IL is hard for one at a distance to
see wherein the great importance of The
movement, lies.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08
ouick Mn Hint

Mr.. Slyman, the bookkeeper receiy-
ed a present of $40 from his employer.
He expected more and was greatly dis
appointed. He dropped the money on
the floor in the presence of his employ
er, as If accidentally. and stopped TO
pick II up
Did you find it allf" asked his EN-
ployer after few minutes
NO; | found only $10r-Flegende
Batter.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

Two new stories of well known
lady whose daughter occupies the high
est social position Of any American
woman abroad; She wrote to her gar
dener the other day to pay special nj
tention TO her prize "incarnations," y
sculptor was pralsing the beauty of
her daughter. Yes, Mary is haui
some" said Mary's mother. IAN artist
admired her so much that he made !,
bust of her arm and hand."-New l",&
Commercial Advertiser.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

Prospective Bride know It's fool
ish. doctor. but to crafty a natural Gu
rlosity will you please let me see the
form of service you intend to use in
marrying usg
The Rev DR.. Fourthly-It will not
be necessary my dear young woman.
/ never use the word obey in the
marriage service. Tribune.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

The ice embargo on the Somerset
railroad is a decided disad vantage to
is the stopping Of transportation of
pulp now by rail to the pulp mills at
Madison at Solon, and the shipment of
their products from these mills.
Other parts of Maine were similarly
affected but hardly in the degree that
the towns along the Somerset road are.
The Somerset reporter., 1900-02-08

The chamois is usually identified
with Switzerland hui the animal is
less cuhin'il thVfr than in any Other
country witch Il iuhahitS Austria Is
tlr real lurVa- of the channels. where
they are most plentiful.