Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1900-03-08

Regard him as simply chump.
Chicago Record.
Snubbed for Fair.
He Ia diffident yong tailor)--Im sure
Miss De Courcey, would be only toe
glad to press my suit, if
SLe-Please don't talk shop, Mr.
Free Press.
Secret No Longer.
Wytte-The great inventor is dead
and his marvellous secret IS lost.
Wycke-Not at ALL l understand he
it 10 his wife.
Wytte-Exactly.- Philadelphia Press.
A WelI.Balancec Mind.
'What is well-balanced mind, I'm
Gle Theodore?'
well, it is a mind that can sympa-
Ihize with the upper dog in IA fight" -
Puck.
1er CapapiiItv.
Katie, do you think Miss Blank will
10 some shopping for me?'
"Yes'm, I'm sure she will. She's a
good buyer, but she's, no locker and
no picker."-Judge.
Premative Hardships.
Lillian - What awful, awful hard
Ahis our forefathers must have expe-
rienced.
Blanche-Yes, just think, they didn't
have olives.-Indianapol Journal.
Taught by Experience.
.Jones-A friend in need Is great
thing.
BOnes-Indeed it is.
Jones-Yes, indeed; | met one this
and he cost me $5.-Detroit
Free Press.
Woes of the Disobedient
Ethel Ito her younger brother, who
had been whipped)-Don't mind, broth
er, don't mind.
Brother between sobs)-That's just
what was licked for. Columbus (O.)
State Journal
His Wondrous Faith.
Hix--W Weeks seems to have lot of
faith in homeopathy, doesn't he?
Dix-Never saw anything to equal it.
Why, last summer when he had an at
tack of hay fever he married a grass
widow.-Chicago News.
Making Mountains of Mole Hills.
Papa" asked the British youth,
what is the difference between a
kopje and a mountain?"
"A kopje, my son, is the thing the
Beers take, and mountain is the
same thing when we try to take it."
The Dernier Resort.
Tharper-And how are you two get
ting on together!
Hornbill-I've tried everything to
make my wife happy, but it seems no
use.
Tharper-You haven't tried suicide
Life.
A Bad Habit.
Teacher-Thomas, / saw you laugh
Just now. Tell me what it was about?
TOMMY was just thinking about
Teacher - You have no business
thinking during school hours. Don't
let it occur again.
The Domestic Puzzle.
"How happily the Won Grootses
seem to live together"
"Yes. can't get Mt the secret Of it."
THE secret?'
"Of course; does he let her have her
own way all the time, or does she let
him have hisg''-Detroit Free Press.
Alone in His Creatn
Johnny Papa, If a man wouldn't
tell lie now like George Washington
lid would he be a great man like
was?
Papa-I don't know, my son. don't
think any of them ever tried.-Detroit
Free Press.
As to Ancestors.
Zone of my ancestors" said the
naughty Miss May Flowerstock, was
driven out of England for religious
Huh retorted the unassuming
Miss Jones, 1.-TWO of mine were driven
Dut of the Garden of Eden for the
same eason."-Philadelp Press.
An Economical Young Woman.
Alice-I thought you were going to
marry Miss Gruet?
Algy-Well, l guess not l proposed
10 her by letter and she accepted me
On a postal card.
Alice-She's just the girl you want.
You can bet she'll be careful Of your
A Sarcasm.
"How long will 1t take your hand
writing expert to prove that this was
written by that person." asked one
awyer.
ut may depend" said the other,
..i.e 4. 1lin.,ocnd 20 bn 1.x.Ii1.nl