The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1900-03-22
THE KICKER.

This country is blest with great mul
titude of chronic kickers. They have be
come kind of necessary nuisance, ant
Seem to have peculiar sphere Of theil
own, kind of work to perform tina
busy people have neither the time mol
inclination to indulge in-an irresistible
desire to kick. We would be at a loss
without them, our street corners would
be silent and deserted and thousands who
now spend their time i'm trying to argue
questions they know little or nothing
about, and listening to blatant agitators
who know even less than their hearers,
would be earning good support for those
who are dependent on them. These kick
ers are always against the government,
against the administration and against
every move tending toward progress.
They are only citizens in pretense, as they
never shoulder any responsibility or
countenance anything pertaining to the
support of the country, either govern
ment, state, county, city or neighborhoOd.
They oppose the administration in time
of war, and taxes in time of peace. They
never defend the country, and seldom
have anything that is worth taxing. They
grow in numbers in proportion as our
population increases, and hold the same
relative influence today they did when
the declaration of independence was
signed. Ifthey had had their way Wash
ington, and Jefferson would have been
harg ed as traitors. The stars and stripes
would never have kissed the sky, the
thirteen colonies would have been wiped
Oft the face of the earth, and the immortal
struggle for freedom and independence
gone down upon the pages of history as
an lmbecile instruction of rebels and
traitors. They have kicked against every
move made to enlarge the boundaries of
the thirteen colonies, up to the present
time. They kicked because the govern
ment didn't help the Cubans; they kicked
because we didn't declare war against
Spain; they kicked because we did de-
clare war against Spain, and because we
did help the Cubans. They kicked be-
cause we had one man out of several
thousand accidentally shot in the Spanish
war. They are now kicking both the
United States and England. They have
recently discovered the fact that old Eng
land is a blOodthirsty, cruel and heart
less nation; that her officers are a lot of
numskulls and her troops composed of
Canadians, Scotch, Irish, and that Eng
lish soldiers won't stand fire. That the
Beers are great people, very refined,
made up of philosophers, statesmen and
NapoleOns, and that Cronje looks like
General Grant. They would like to see
the English driven out Of Africa, their
interests confiscated and the ignorant,
filthy Dutch Beers hold the country
against intelligence, civilization and pro-
gress forever. If they had their way they
would call mighty potlatch in the Phil
ippine islands of all the niggers and ma
tives and have our troops with barred
heads and inverted arms march back and
forth before them, and after trailing Old
Glory i'm the dust, quietly withdraw,
begging their pardon for having overrun
their country with the men commanded
by Otis. Otis would be court martialed
and dismissed from service in disgrace.
They would like to have monuments
erected i'm the country to the honor of
George Washington Aguinaldo and have
him made king of the Philippines. They
would like to have war between this
country and England, a thing about as
likely to happen as the election of Bryan
to the presidency; and in case war should
be declared between this and any other
nation, not one of the chronic kickers
would be appointed to a responsible posi-
ton any more than a general would
mount a jack-ass instead of 4 war horse
to lead his army to battle. Nature in
tended they should always wear swad-
ding clothes, but ignorant nurses mis-
clothed them. SUBSCRIBER.