The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1900-04-04
WHY GEORGE LEFT HOME.
The Young Man Solves Mueh-Moot-
ed ones ION Beyond Question
or Doubt.

"Alaude," inquired the young hus
band, as he entered her room after
hard days work downtown in tn,
bank, ''Maude, where are my ragge,
slippers, which you made for me be
fore we were married, and have beer
too busy since shopping and function
ing to replace?"
'Under the sofa, where Fido was
chewing them to-day"
''Maude, my clothes are all awry in
the closet. Could you not spare time
to arrange them? Maude, while / dc
not expect you to ply the needle with
your deft, be-tliamonded, lily-white,
taper fingers, my white raiment and
socks might at least be sent to the
woman who mournfully sings the song
of the shirt"
my dear, try and earn enough to
employ valet"
'Maude, your maid has given notice
the third maid in one month. I
allow you lady's maid. You are so
delicate. You weigh only 145 now and
see the doctor but three times q week"
Darling! could not bear her inn
pertinence, and the way she wore her
hair"
''Maude, you struck me for $50 yes
terday, the second Xxx have coughed
up this wrek--to-day is Wednesday.
You viii certainly develop into real
Tottie Coughdrop."
''Only the price Of two hats, sweet"
"Maude, you have dragnetted me to
the theater eight times in two weeks;
total cost, $2S.75. On all of the re-
naming nights we have gone some
where, where the dollars and l sang
q sad refrain as we parted"
Darling, would have more use for
$4,000 year than your poor little
$4,000 salary"
''Maude, has your new woman, rea-
soning brain been impressed that on at
least one night in the week I'd like to
stay home, smoke, read, lounge around
and kick the dog? Social functions
are tiresome bores as steady racket"
"Stay home night in the height of
the season. Never!"
"Maude, your extravaganza Is not
only running me, but will drive me to
drink and to chess and checkers.
Maude, +"
oh, George, please have them raise
your salaryl Then you will not make
such tiresome remarks"
"Mnude, you are not giving me a
fair shake of the glad hand. try to
do all can for you"
What's that? Do you, indeedl Did
you stop at the florists and order my
violets? Did you pay the dressmaker's
bill and buy Fidos new blanket?
Where is my daily ave-pound box OF
bons bons? And that box OF evening
gloves / expressly requested you to
bring tonight? Even my magazines
are forgotten!
"Of course, George, you did notpay
the carriage bill. and we must 60 in
a cab to Mrs. Whitecat's reception
hand me my curling ironl You are
forever complaining of my .extraya-
gance, yet confessed last night TO
spending SO cents at one time for ci-
garsl You know that / have only
five evening gowns, seven street gowns,
eighteen hats and three give me the
pairs of gloves.
You objected to new pair of shoes,
saying that had eleven pairs by actual
count.
George, when told you wanted
mother street gown you swore- yes,
You did And your dress suit but three
seasons old and wanting a new oneI
That's right, step on Fido in your
'rutal ragel Come here, poor, dear,
little Fido. What do you think mar
led you for? You don't know and
Ion't give a-what2 Why do you kick
be sofa pillows2 Oh. because your
egs don't hinge backward and you
ant kick yourself? Yesl strike me-
tand back Oh. yes. you were.
leoreel You were going to strike me;
lou are gentleman. are you. and you
Vould not lRmbast your wife even il
be did need the spirited application ,
I stuffed club OH George. Just /,
'anted your hat2 Here il is, and" ,
This is why George left home
Washington Star. !