Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-04-10

returning from continental tour, on
which he had long set his heart. he was
narrating one evening TO his friend. the
doctor, how be had visited 1.-The majestic
Lake of Geneva and trodden the banks
of Blue Leman," relates the New York
Tribune.
Excuse me- interrupted the doctor
Lake Geneva and Lake Leman are
synonymous"
THAT, my dear sir" replied the farm
er, Il know very well: but are you aware
that Lake Leman is the more synony-
nous of the two"'
Mrs. Greene-"But how came YOU 70
marry him? Did you think he really
cared for your
Mrs. Blew-"Oh, I am certain of that
If be had not loved me, he never would
have told me SO many lies to get me-
Mrs. Greenland you find him great
ly changed since you were married."
Mrs. Blew-"1es and no. He lies as
much as ever, but | suspect it is for love
Of some other woman. Boston Tan
script.
Speaking of schools, an English bishop,
making tour of this country visited
one of the local schools the other day,
says the New York Tribune After CON
graduating the teacher on the hnc APP
pearance of her little scholars the dis
tinguishcd clerical stood up to say Il
word to the children The subject of
craving of the Father of His Country.
mounted upon fine white charger, that
adorned the wall. Pointing to this Dor
trait the bishop said:
Who can tell me the name of this
tne-looklng gentlemanT
No one responded for at least a min
ute; but, encouraged by the visitor, lit
tie fellow in the back part of the room
finally held up his hand.
Who is it, my SON. asked the bishop,
kindly.
Buffalo Bill. sir, lispcd the little
American. which so excited the visibility
of the visiting dignitary that he precipI-
lately left the school without finishing
his remarks.
President John Quincy Adams oncc
asserted that he would not give % cents
for all the works of Phidias and Praxi-
teles, adding: Il hope America will not
think OF sculpture for two centuries to
come" When some one quoted this TO
William Morris Hunt, he asked dryly:
Does that sum of money really repre-
sent Mr.. Adams estimate Of the sculp-
ttlTe Ol iHOSe dIIlSlS, OF the N2lQc winch
he places upon 30 centSy'
Banks Gauntily) Hello, Bostwick.
Setting out your wife's flower beds?'
Bostwick (evilly)-"No. I'm digging
up twenty-dollar gold pieces for the chill
dren to play with. What s fool imagn
alton you've got, anyway. New York
Press
-:o:-
ager, YOU call this play a rural drama,
don't you
Il do" replied the modest author.
And you claim to be realist?'
We'll, I've introduced the old Oaken
bucket and the barnyard fowls, and all
that"
The manager tore his hair.
But where is the mortgage? be
hr.eked: who ever heard of farm
house without mortgage that the way
ward son comes homo and lifts off in the
last act|'-Philad elphia Inquirer.
In his book Gu the Soudan campaign
Winston Churchill, the Dispatch,s CORE
spondent in South Africa tells this story
about Gen. Lord Kitchener. He ordered
a field telegraph to accompany the flying
column to Abu Hamed.
But" said the officer i'll charge, 1--WE
have no spools to unreel the Wire from,
no saddles TO carry II. no
Without word Kitchener walked to
where the coils of wire lay Some DON
keys stood near by. Selecting the small
est, he took the little animals hind legs
i'll his left hand and put them into the
coil. He lifted the wire up until it passed
tween the fore and hind legs. He caught
the loose end of the wire, and smacked
the donkey with the other hand. The
beast moved forward tripping and STUN
bling over the wire, which began to I'M
wind. Then, still without a word, but
with a wave of the hand that said:
There's your field equipment" Hitch
ener then walked away.
Mrs. Belgravc Ton the Bermuda boat
Are you one of the stewards?'
Bill Roling-"No, marin. I'm capn of
tn top"
Mrs. Bclgrave-"How nice Bring it
and spin it for little Chauncey. won't
you? He's almost bored to death =
Harlem Life.
A curious Scotch rhyme concerning the
calculation Of Easter runs as follows:
First comes CandlemasS.
And then the new munC,
The next Tuesday after that
Is aye Fasting cen.
That moon out.
And the next at its height
Then next Sunday after that
Is aye Pasche right.
1t is said that this rhyme has never
been known to be inaccurate before, but
if it is worked out for this year it will
be found that it places Easter day on
April %.
More Apt than kinda distinguished
diplomat from the United States of
America, very genial and sociable be-
ing, soon after his arrival in London
made the round of the sights-Mme Tus-
saud's among the number. And what
do you think of our WaXwork eXhibi-
tion?' asked a friend. "WelI' replied
the general, ''it struck me as being very
like an ordinary English evening party"
-Tit-RitS