The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-10-13
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Mrs. Starvern-That Mr. SIopay has
skipped out without paying his board.
Mr.. Starboard-Well, that should be
relief to you. You've often declared ne
was an elephant on your hands.
Mrs. Starvem-I should say he was
an elephant, for he's taken his trunk
with him.-Philadelphia Press
Gee whizl That blamed watch is
stopped again. What an awful liar that
jeweler is
whats the matter?"
81 left the thing for him to fix He
charged me 81, and said it would work
like charm new
9sWell, he doubtless meant a watch
charm. "-Philadelphia Press.
ct see yer movin' out, boss" remarked
a very disreputable looking Weary
Willie. who had stopped to watch the
operation. rs dey anything you don't
need at might take2"
Yes snapped the crusty suburban
tie, tossing a bundle into the van, a
bath!''-Standard and Times
woman said the lecturer at the in
formal meeting, lin the east is only a
domesticated animal
We'll" said the foolish man that
wanted to make complaint, she lacks
a lot of being domesticated animal
The The ladies' present in large numbers
glared at him Observation-Disclosures
Press.
He thrust the sealed letter through the
window, and put down two O.. cents cents 4,o
We'll, what do you want?" asked the
stamp clerk, gruff1y-
IAN automobiles please" he replied
sweetIy.-P North American.
But. suppose" one of the spectators
said, 1.-The parachute should fail to open
after you have detached it from the bal
loon-What then? ?"
the daring aeronaut. I'D come right on
down. Chicago Tribune.
May Putter-Everyb ody's talking about
the way you let Jack Huggard kiss you
on the links yesterday.
Belle Hazard-Well, couldn't help it.
| if he could have just one kiss. yelled,
| "Forei" and he took them.-PhIadelphla
| Press
''That man. remarked the great detec-
| tive, lis undoubtedly a vegetarian of the
most pronounced type.
How do you make that out?'' queried
ssOh. that's dead easy replied the g.
d. HE has carroty hair, reddish cheeks,
a turn-up nose and a sage look
cago Daily News.
Zones, you never get done talking
''Wel, somebody is always 1nterruptlnB
me ''-Indianapolis Journal.
THAT New York widow who visited
| the Adirondack woods attired in reddish
brown garments might have known she
would be shot at for a deer"
of course she might. No doubt she
has been taken for a deer many times
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The watermelon's waning, and
It's joys win soon be gone;
But, all, dear natures lavish hand!
The pumpkins coming on.
Chicago Record.
How can I prevent damage by wheat
weevil?'' asked the old farmer
The Populist 'answer-to- queries man
looked at him scornfully.
Vote for Bryan, of course" he said
Chicago Evening Post
Il am a man of few words,'' said the
busy citizen.
Il am glad to hear it, answered the
caller, with a superb bundance of assur-
ance. i've got whole lot to say to
| you, and the fewer times you interrupt
me the better I'll be pleased Washing
ton Star.
Mrs schoppen-Oh, myl look at that
rug over there isn't it perfectly hid
Mrs. Price-Horriblel Such wretched
| colorsi
Dealer Ga moment later)-Inotieed you
| looking at that rug, ladies. It's a great
bargain; only s125, and it's genuine
/ antique.
Chorus-Oh. how perfectly lovely
Philadelphia Press.
She-I wonder why it is that SO many
| old maids have fat bank accounts?
1 H@Probably for lack of anything
else, they husband their resources
Brooklyn Life.
| City Nephew-Wwhat do you think OF
] DIR. PillSDurV DnySlclanY
| Farmer Hayroob-Safest doctor any
where in this part of the county-nearly
always off f1shin' when he's wanted
Judge
do you know" said his confidential
clerk, breaking it to him as delicately
as he could. chat some people accuse
| you of leading a, double life?"
| "By George, 1 dol" exclaimed Mr..
| Spotcash the eminent merchant. Il
work twice as hard any man in my
employ. Chicago Tribune.
..Fellow citizens of the JUNGLE said
| the monkey, various as our interests
may be, can't we find some platform on
which may all stand?"
That's right put in the elephant
Let us denounce menageries!"-Puck
JinFs-The coIoners wife had such
temper that she drove the poor man to
drink.
Binks-seeing that they. live in Ken
lucky 1 don't think that is so awful.
Jinks-Well but it was to drink
water-Detroit Free Press
She The Browns called on US last
week. you know.
He-Yes.
Don't you think it is about time we
should retaliate? '-Indianapol Press
tsJulia's engagement is broken"
Dear mel How did it happen27
ssWell, it was one of those awfully hot
nights; Jack dropped his last cigar, and
she stepped on indianapolis Jour
nal.