The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-07-23

In announcing that the Arizona Kicker
has the largest circulation Of any daily
or weekly publication on the face Of the
globe, and that its weekly purchase Of
white paper keeps fourteen factories run
ming day and night the year round, we
have no intention of indulging in false
hood. We are simply copying the style Of
certain Eastern journals and giving civili-
cation a push upward.
Last week we had men working in our
private graveyard for several days, and
now the graveled walks are in good
shape, the grass cut and benches provid-
ed for all who wish to enter and sit down.
The number of graves and tcmbstones is
the same as last year-fourteen-and we
sincerely hope we shall not have to add
to it during the next twelve months.
Tuesday afternoon last Mr.. Peter Mar
tin and Capt. Dale had an argument on
Apache avenue as to what a neglige shirt
was One coptended that it was a shirt
that hadn't been washed for two months
and the other that 1t was a shirt with
four or five holes in 1t. Hot words had
passed and pistols had been drawn when
we happened along and settled the ques-
ton, and both men shook hands and be-
came the best Of friends again. Neglige
means neglected, and we had neglected
three or four bad. rips In our outfit Of
shirts.
Last week when we undertook to con-
vince the Blue Front drug store that ad-
vertising always pays, Mr.. Sheridan
started to draw his gun on us. Four sec
onds later the muzzle Of our pistol touch
ed the end of his nose. He came down
gracefully. In this Issue will be found his
tWO-COluTn cd
vised to go to him for anything wanted
in his line. Aside from being a little I'm
petuous Mr.. Sheridan is a tiptop fellow
and an honor to the town.
Our esteemed contemporary is out with
an item this week in which he says our
Jealousy Of him has put him in fear of
his life, and that he may apply to have
US put under bonds. Ye gods! Jealous
of a man who tried running a saw mill
in Nebraska before he became editor and
made failure of It'll Afraid of his life!
Why, there Isn't coyote in Arizona
that'd harm an old man with his head
twisted to one side, his back bumped up
and his knees rubbing each other as he
Wabbles- alongl
We would like to say again for the.
benefit of certain people that the post
office at Giyeadam Gulch closes at 9
O'Clock p. m. Up to midnight we are
willing to hand out mail to any one in a
rush. but after that hour we don't pro-
pose to get out of bed for any one in the
United States. Throwing stones through
the windows or shooting bullets through
the front door won't eXnedite mail de-
livery, but may bring a shot or two in
return. We are a public servant right
enough, and this postoff1ce belongs to
the people, but we have figured it out
Z l. 80
EN- is to sleep between midnight and
o'clock a. m.
The coroner of this town has been try
ing for a week to find out the difference
between the rib of mule and the back
bone Of a man and is still delving at the
mystery" This Is the third or fourth
time we have been obliged to call him an
ass, and If he doesn't pause in his mad
| career he'll be hunting for another job
before he is many weeks older.
Some six weeks ago we announced that
Jim MURDOCH formerly Of this gulch,
had been neatly and thoroughly hanged
by a vigilance committee in New Mexico,
and that we wereEglad of it. Three days
| ago James walked in on US to say that
| our article had hurt his feelings AS he
explains tt,I' he was hung all right
enough, but tafterIthe crowd had depart
| ed the rope broke, and in the course of
a day or two he got his breath back
| While we do not feel that we owe him
any apologys wei will express the hope
that he has profted by his lesson. The
| ropes used here never break
We have known Mai Bob Wharton for
six months, and we have never met him
that he didn't boast Of the lightning way
| he could pull gun. Yesterday he got
| into trouble with a stage driver and had
an opportunity to beat electricity all hol-
| low. He knew what was coming, and
| yet before he had his hand on his gun
! the driver had him covered and was max
| ing him eat dirt To cap the climax the
majors revolver hadn't a cartridge In it
when it was taken from his pocket. Why
certain people In this town don't carry
clubs instead OF guns Is something we
can't make out.
! We could have electric light in this
| town but for old Jim Shaw and Peter
Haines. Both of them are down on cleo
| tricfty in every form, and have sworn
that they will shoot out any electric
plant and the owners with it OF course,
! as mayor of the town and working for
| its best interests, we could turn around
and shoot Jim and Pete, but we prefer
| to let things glide on as they are for a
| year or two more at least.
RRTEF AND pointed