Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1900-08-25
; FACTS AND FANCIES.

Tommy what's the differences
between a tragedy and comedy?' Tom
my'S Pop-"Fhe way it's acted, my son"
Philadelphia Record.
II don't know his politics. He merely
said he was anthem " We'll, what
can that he but antiDemocratic?"
1T might mean 'anti-DemijOhn.' Phil
adelphia Press.
Have you ever seen the door of Con.
gress:' inquired the ambitious youth.
ooh, yes" said the traveller: why"
Il merely want to know whether it's
mark Push or Pull Philadelphia
Press.
\ Western paper prints the following
singular card of thanks:
Mr. and Mrs. Heays hereby wish to
express their thanks TO the friends and
neighbors who so kindly assisted at the
burning Of their house last Monday even
ing
Mrs. Soothing-'I am afraid you're
going TO buy drink with that dime
gave YOU"
Bill Bumpers-"Ye didn't size me
gauge Teddy. Ten cents don't buy me
no drink: Il jist gifts me Il TASTE
Denver News
An orderly who happened not to know
the commander-in-chief. for whom he
was hearing a dispatch. asked another
orderly in a loud voice, where's 'Bobs' q
In reply the CHEEKY voice of Lord Rob
crts answered: Here am, my lad
What can | do for YOU"
The Topeka Plain Dealer. A colorod
man paper. says it once heard preach
or say: he fe' part Of de house will
pleasc sit down, 70 de hind part cannot
see de 10 part if de 10 part persist in
standing befo' de hind part. to de utah
obSclusion Oh de hind part by de 70 part"
He-"Two weeks ago would you have
believed it possible that we could hc sit
ting here by the sen 50 close together and
50 much in love-
She-'Oh, yes
But yen didn't even know me then
No. But knew myself. Smart
Set
We know one boy who has had a good
zine this summer says the Goodland
News, We met him on the street the
other evening. He had his arm in splints
foot was tied up. He walked on the toe
Of his lett foot in order 10 avoid a stone
bruise'
Gidden-"Your' lawn always looks in
fine shape. How do you manage it?''
Wartner-' Easy enough. have two
growing boys. and | tell them every day
that they mustn't NEEDLE with the lawn
mower or the garden hose The result
Is that my lawn is well shorn and well
watered all the time. Boston Tran
script
What. you've taken up the illustrated
postal-card fad!'
Yes. but only since took to riding
the wheel. You see. when I'm riding |
haven't the time to study the beauties of
the scenery. so | just buy the ncture
cards, Send them home and enjoy the view
at home at my leisure. -Fliegendc
Blaetter.
Down in Southern Georgia two widows
were cond0lIng with each other over
their troubles. In telling of the last
sickness, and death of their husbands.
one said: My man, poor Teller, jes'
then jcs' died for the want Of breath"
The other replied: wall, mine didn't;
he drawed his breath to the very last"
She was radiantly happy as she passed
into the ballroom after paying her re-
spects to the hostess.
How do you do, my dear?'' the latter
had said to her. Il hope you do not feel
as weary as you look"
'Ah" exclaimed the fair woman af-
terward, communing with herself, how
charming | must look tonight '-Phila-
delphia Press.
At the Literary Reception. Old Hand
There 20 two authors, Snooks, the
author Of The Harp of the Passions.
and Saddler, who wrote The Carriage
Enthusiastic Young Woman-"W Which
IS the one with the flashing eye and the
dark locks clustering about marble
Old Hand-"That's Standardization
Transcript.
Living in PenciI-Sharpcning.
4 bright boy in the district Of New
York has a long list Of customers whose
pencils he keeps sharpened, and who al
50 patronize him 80, new pencils. He
has patent sharpener, and goes from
store to store and Office 20 Office. aud he
makes between 50 and 81 a week work.
Ing four or five hours a day.