Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1900-03-13
WHAT A CIGAR DID.

N+-'''S A 4 ,
WHAT A. CIGAR DID,.
4 TERRIBLE tNARN'No TO AL MEN
WITH FLOWING MusTAchEs. ,,tJ Il.
T. Il wi 7I2& t t,&t
Hew N u.l1alry I>aiviA.al HaArHis
: 4: SinGeA se3Da%ly,Thst He. shaved It
Or ConDlstsly ana suceseAeAs In
Maakils ~ AvvfaI hit. Ss2 z zls51's's&5 ~
In lighting the short stub OF, o. cigar
the vast end man with the huge, flowing
enustaehea absentznindedly, burned away
bbont halt an inch Of one, end Of that hir-
suite adornmeat@ He studied the effect
msthe glass. hi Ef.5i($ @ %!4V tts3sI5 1t s3f9s3
.H1t makss5my dial look, iopsided." h.
mused lit gives! me the appearance az
having q lit to starboard. It hooks In
'nbthius. doing o. the port side ~ M,
map. - sstand sinT ,dsnsers so1, eaFeenino
to- the right IN The 6tst squall that strikes
me. 4 III ssti that hight side trimmed 70
match the. lett, sade. the WHOLE opfotN
look stubby and brfstly, o Il New XoE1
cop, Wherefore III have the whole dl.1a,
ed thing; shaved Of. and Il ! make . lit
annongs MY, friends, and relatives th4t
way: III keep It Of altogether. I'm sooA
looking enough anyhow TO- 60 without 4
mustache. Anyhow J. understand it, IT,
distangy; kink to 30 mustacheiess nowa-
days.i' ii jy1@ ..i.,;tt :: = !: .44,.,,, ~ =,
The man had worn mustache for 20
Jears-ever since that remote day, when
That had made him 20 proud and exuh-l
~ Asn< 4<>lA
his upper lin, and he'd worn the mos
tache ever since. His wife had nevsk
seen him without, Q: mustache. -! r.:
The man chuckled inwardly ~ he ted
his barber to take of the mustache. -,
There's an extradftioa treaty NV
with Canada, you know" said the bar
Der fainiharly. .'.' =.
"Oh, I'm not fixing to elope with my
firms ROLL" replied the man. "l'm just
curious to ascertain what brand Of manly
beauty possess without this breeze In
viter, that's ALL.
EWhea the operation was over. and the
man rose mp In the BARRIERS chair, he
studied himself in the glass dubiously,
jogging his head from side to side.
what do you think Of it?' inquired
the barber.
II think I'll camp here until after
dark" replied the man.
But this was impracticable. So hs
went forth.
''Hello. there. Jim," said he to the first
friend he met.
= His friend gazed at him out of the tail
Of his eye in passing.
"Ha, ha! Don't recognize me, hayT
said the man, with forced glee.
His friend wheeled and examined him
carefully. Then he put his hands to his
sides and shrieked with laughter.
"What the dickens is the matter with
you, anyhow, you idiot" inquired the
mustacheless man, trifle miffed.
'Oh, nothing" replied his friend, be-
tween gasps. "Nothing at all-except
that if l had that face I'd black up"
"How are you, Tom p said the barber
ed man to the next friend he met.
Friend No. 2 looked at him coldly.
"Guess you're mistaken, aren't your
he said.
The mustacheless man laughed hol-
low, doubtful laugh. His friend recog-
nized the laugh and Immediately execut-
ed a realistic imitation Of 4 man just hit
BY Krag bullet. Then he fell up against
an awning pole and reared; 49,. ~ !.
"Walk backward. old man. and maybe
you won't be pinched this time," he said,
when he had recovered himself some
what. "You can slip out into the cdln-
try after dark, and keep out Of sight Of
the authorities until it grows again."
Friend No. 3 suggested that he have
his face trimmed.
Friend No. asked who had broad az
ed him in the talker. 4
Friend No. s informed him that he was
a dead ringer for Soak" McGuffey, the
noted second story man and all around
boarding house sneak.
Friend No. 6 said he reminded him of
Charles Bigelow, the comedian.
Friend No. Z asked what had bent his
countenance.
:'If had mush on me like that, I'd
ask for receiver and go into voluntary
liquidation" said friend No. 8.
why don't you get drop shutter for
that?" asked friend No. 9.
Massage is good for improving face,
understand" suggested friend No. 10.
"Say, you'd make a hit in vaudeville
with that" said friend No. II.
"Every man his own Mammoth cave"
said friend No. H.
The shades of evening found the mus
tacheless man leaning up against tree
box in. the neighborhood of his home,
wondering whether he'd better 60 in or
not. He tipped coin.
:Heads l 60 home; tails give myself
up as vag," he muttered.
Heads won. His wife opened the
door when he purposely rang the bell in
stead Of using his latchkey. He stepped
forward to bestow the usual salute. His
wife screamed for the servant.
"How dare your she cried. retreating
down the hall. MY husband is right up
stairs. and''-
swell, what do you think of me?" ask
ed the mustacheless man, trying dismal
~ to be jaunty.
She recognized the voice. She regard
ed him with establishment, open mouthed.
Then her face puckered, and she raised
her handkerchief to her eyes.
"Does it look so bad. honest ?" he asked
her when her first torrent. Of grief was
spent. |
''Bad?" she replied between sobs.