davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17
The Young rlan Was Out OF Luck,


Story Of AN unlucky youth from
the Wichita Eagle: AT Meade, Kan
sas, a young man visiting there
from the east took his girl into the
country on tandem. One of the
tires went down fourteen miles out
and the young man tried to get a
farmer to haul him and the young
lady to town. II was 40 near night
the farmer wouldn't do il, but in
vited the couple to- stay all night
There was only one spare bed and
the family already had visitors,
With the prospects of sitting up all
night staring him in the face, the
young man proposed a game OF
pitch. The farmer sailed in, won
the city dudes money and made
him husk corn the next day to pay
for hauling him. the broken wheel
aud the girl to town.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine
Tablets. All druggists refund the
money IL il fails to cure. +. w.
Groves signature is on each box. 25c.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

The Baxter Sash & Door Company is
making an elegant set of store fixtures for
Will Prices fine drug store in Joplin.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17
TO PATRONS.

On, and FOREVER after, Feb
uary, 18th, l will have my residence
in the Blood property.
Ring the door-bell at north en-
trance for night calls.
DIR. STRYKER.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Are you nervous, run down, weak
and dispirited? Take few doses of
Herbine. II will infuse new energy
aud new life into the exhausted
nerves, the overworked brain or
muscular system, and put a new
face on life and business. Price SOC.
A. r. Kane.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

II you want the very incest sale
bill that can be printed. and at rea'
sonabie prices, too, come to this of'
flee. We don't lay down to any
body on fine job printing, and es'
pecially sale bills.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

II had dyspepsia for years. No
medicine was as effective as Ko-
dol's Dyspepsia Cure. II gave i'm.
mediate reliet. Two bottles pro-
duced marvellous rsbults." writes
L. H. Warren. Albaay, Wis. 1t di-
gests what you eat I'D cannot fail
to cure. Dewitt & Thompson.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Will McElhiney went to lola, Kansas,
Sunday evening Will is figuring on en-
eaging in business in lola
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17
Il Wasn't q joyful Wedding

Last Thursday nice looking
young man. apparently about Il
yesrs old, and a strawberry blonde
and slender with a determined
"dou,t care a cuss" look. were before
Judge Radley to be married says a
Girard, correspondent in the. Pitts
burg Headlight. She looked five
years the, young mans senior,
although che gave her age as Is,
They. both gave. their residence as
Texas. but rs there was "a Parsons
officer keeping cases on the affair.
the probably never saw Texas. The
Young. man took the matter very
much to'heart AND could. not have
believed any harder if'all of. his
frienda had died at once. He fin
ally got.bis cry out and stood up tn
the rack,to take his medicine. After
the ceremony the young man told
the bride that. she had what che
wanted, she could make what she
could out of it," and he walked out
of the court room and left the'bride
aud officer to go their own way.
After the doctors failed TO cure
me of pneumonia used One Min.
ute Cough Cure and three bottles
cured me. II is also the best rene.
dy on earth for Whooping cough.
1t cured my grandchildren of the
worst cases." writes Jno. Berry. of
LoganRort, Pa.'I, is the only harm.
less remedy that gives immediate
results. Cures coughs. colds, Group,
throat and lung trouble. IL pre-
vents consumption. Children like it.
Mothers endorse it. Dewitt d
THOMPSON.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

d. S. Freeman. an old citizen Of Col
umbus, died at his home in that place
last Friday evening.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

The Empire Theatre Company played
at Miami on Monday, Tuesday and
Wednesday nights of this week.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve ia un-
eaualled for piles, injuries and skin
diseases. 1t il the original Witch
Hazel Salve. Beware of all counter
feits. Dewitt Il Thompson.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

A Mr.. Dowell of Salina, Kansas was in
town the fore part OF the week to see some
thing abou, putting in a telephone ex'
change
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Will Jones. who has been visiting rela'
tives in this city and Galena, has returned
to his home in Fort Smith, Arkansas.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

We have made arrangements
whereby we can offer the NEWS and
the Kansas City Weekly Star one
year for the exceedingly low price
of ST.. Take advantage of this offer
at once. II is liable 10 be with
drawn at any time.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

w F. Sapp has leased his fine new
hotel at Galena to Messrs. White & South.
worth of Litchheld. III. The building
will be opened March i.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

The output Of the penetentiary twine
plant will be sold direct to the farmer.
The retailers will not be permitted to
handle il at all.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17
SEED OATS.

have two hundred bushels oi
good oats will sell for seed. Was
never wet or heated in stack. q
cents per bushel.
]. BANNING.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

The NJ. X & T Railway Company is
figuring on extending its line from Min
eral Junction to Galena via Cherokee.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Nervous children are almost al
ways thin children. T he ~put-door-
boy. Ia seldom nervoue. Whites
Cream Vermifuge is the beet pre-
ventive Of nervousness. Itetfength-
ems the system and assists 70 that
sort of flesh, which creates strength
and power of endurance. Price 25c.
A, r. Kane.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

You can help anyone whom yon
find fuffering from inilamed throat
laryngeal trouble, bronchitie,'
coughs, colds, etc. by advisinE the
use Of Ballard's Horehnuud Syrup;
the great remedy for coughs and
colds. Price 25 and 30 cents. A. r
Kane.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Mrs. T. B. McElhiney returned the
latter part of last week from an extended
visit with her daughter. Mrs. F. W.
Wardwell, in Oklahoma City. Oklahoma
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Simmons & Youse, who have been
drilling well for Al Dively. have found
plenty OF water The well is now about
t,o feet deem
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

meet have indigestion. Tell 'em
about DR.. Caldwells Syrup Pepsin
at Dewitt & Thompson's.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Miss Ruby Willis went to Girar
Thursday to visit relatives and friends.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17
3 miles southwest of Baxter

W. J. Turley returned Saturday
from Kansas City where he bought
lot of goods for the implement
house of g. X. Gould.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Fresh Oysters served in any style
and for sale at Mrs. Meyerding's.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Master Claude Bacon has accepted a
position in the drug store Of Dewitt &
| Thompson.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

For SALE.-A span of heavy draf
mares 2 and 8 years old. lnquir,
Of Is. D.. Owens. Baxter Springs
Kansas. IT
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

When in Miami eat at the Oxford,
east side of Main street. Meals and
lunch served at all hours. Oyste :s
any style.
L.F. MUEHLsCHUsTER Prop.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17
TELEGRAM!
St. Joseph, Mo. !.

St. Joseph, Mo-. Feb. Is. 1900.
John M. Cooper. Baxter Springs, Kansas
I have bought s5 10000 worth of
Staples consisting of Mus1ins, Sheetings.
ca1iooes, Peroa1es, Ginghams, Ticks.
Denims, etc. all at from 10 to 90 per
cent below the present market price.
Make room for same.
,Chas. F. Noble.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Bring your produce TO {. c. Gaba
and get groceries, fresh meats or
CASH.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Masquerade ball Thursday night, Feb
22-Washington's birthday.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Parties knowing themselves in
debted to the Cheshire Grocery Co
will nlease call and settle.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Don Fenton's line of wallpaper is
a dandy.- Look Il over.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Miss Simpson left Champaign,
Ill,, for Chicago and St. Louis the
first Of February to get the
Spring styles and up.tO.date
novelties in Millinery.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17
To Cure a Cold In One Day

Fresh Oysters served in any style
and for sale at Mrs. Meyerdings.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17
Home Money
a. to-.
Loan ON Farms.

Loan on Farms.
Interest aud principal payable ~
Gaiena, KAN, OF .C0iumbua, Kan.
F.E. COLvIN.
aThe Bonded Abstracter."
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Remember w. E. Brooks sale next
Wednesday, Feb. Al.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17
o. per cent Of the People you

Hot chilli-the best-at all times
at Mrs. Meyerdings.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Let Don Fenton get hold of your
fine linen II yon want i properly
iaundered. He takes iu washing -
agent for the Fort Scott Steam
Laundry.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17
I|sssl;| !'IIi13|:g|zzE7
Chas. C. Gaba, Sole Distributor.

IL had bronchitis every winter for
years and no medicine gave me
permanent relief till began 10 use
One Minute Cough cure. 1 know it's
the best cough medicine made
Gays J. Koontz. Cory. Pa. II quick
ly cures coughs. colds. Group asth-
ma, grippe. throat and lungtrouble.
II is the children's favorite remedy.
cures quickly. Dewitt & Thomp-
eon,
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Hale Sturges and Erred L. Cowles, pro
prietors of the Joplin Herald have bought
the Joplin News and will consolidate the
two papers as soon as the necessary ar
rangements can be mades An up-to-date
plant will be installed in about two weeks.
Messrs Sturges and cowles will give the
people of Joplin first class newspaper,
for they know how to dol it.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

We received a letter this week from
Ben Patton, who left here about three
weeks ago to accept a position with the
Swift Packing Company at Kansas City.
He says he works only seven nights in
each week and gets full pay for the re-
manning nights.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Galena is to have free mail delivery.
The streets are now being named and the
houses numbered. The free delivery sys;
TEN will probably be inaugurated abou'
Apr;t
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Onion sets at Fribley's.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

A fellow once advertised TO prevent a
shotgun from scattering. The charge was
twenty-five cents. A man sent the money
and received the following answer: "To
preven, a shotgun from scattering, use
only one shot"
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Don't forget Peter covert's sale next
Tuesday, Feb. 40.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

John w. Roley, better known'as Little
Mace" has been sentenced to the peni'
ten,iary for three years for assaultine
Deputy Marshal Rowder Of Empire rity
some time ago. Little Mace" has been
a nightmare to the people of Galena and
for many moons.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

Among the bodies ut soldiers to be
brought back from the Philippines for
burial in the United States will be that of
Troy E. Fairchild OF McCbne. A brother
lives in this CITY
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

NJ. E. Milford. who hasibeen connected
with the vinita Chief,ian for the past six
teen years. has retired from that paper
The other partner, Mr. d, NJ. Marrs. is
now sole proprietor.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17
FOR SALE!
A BIG BARGAIN!

Residence property of
six rooms; lOOxl42 feet
of ground; barn; coal
house; buggy shed; cow
barn; hen house; els.
tern; fruit and shade
trees. In fine neigh.
borhood. Price $500
cash if taken at once.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

The law allowing stocE shippers pass
to market and return has been decided un-
constitutional. A shipper may have a
pass to market but if he wants to come
home he must either pay regular rates or
ualk
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1900-02-17

DR.. A. ]. Thompson. dentist.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1900-01-26

-,-.-. L--D
LADIES - I'E TWO WeeNS nave ha"
nothing OF IN ft~E 20 give )" oI nave
had no letter. 1ol''N may tGll Ho"
that throu-a tie NoteS OF rs ,h" "i1'eIz
the DIVISION as 's,Eth up :uS "3IN %
gettlnS tne les LH'IthLe ~" III 12o,r 7I'o' -,
pass bill proFidIn& 10Y Il nome Ior
our dlS7 Died ana ho1netr,N NoHie,' etdte
veterans Nl;A that Fni III view l nave
appoint a committee 70 70. Z" ~ ''&chSoD
when We ar S'.s 10 ;l1 ~, m ~, wee
Is mace up o. o''t ~ t1Io-l '->> a. Z
Comm tSee %.'u 'aI ioi1IT in c,is '"l!leS,
Mrs. II. II. a3'SSall q ii",12 N,tI1n=o ,tt;t
ana NY, 1,'55" ;E I,'.n '.l,,' af T,cf-
Eta MlIcheii '~'l -A'!"l0 - ,I +
son nhin5 'oIi' oii 'l''t AZ tIo Jaw ha.r We
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1900-01-26

-
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1900-01-26

.
..>...::.f:.Ga.
.r.l4.
@r,,]. y. N"inmi~ ''r"S- Mrs. Al ''"I..'.'.' 'sF"
H.: Il t"E i '"r.''1, H'',. J.,' .'.'' IL" .'h-
,...,r,. .-.T., .......,,e,.r r...>r.; y
MIS- +. i. nAr It Al, '':'.i '.';. "*> >..'' An
y ;;,.,.,,.f pr,.if.,- Nf.s ,.,,,. N.j7,r.
"' ..!.,' ""a'nP. fr"N. Mss Ah":' ,>.-''1t.S"'y
:. '"t'&. Pres. MISS Mary l. No..", @rrE
Mr. i'2Fl" Man >.l' i'r2%. HIa- J.. '...aol.. -
!. F, Caphlrnn". President. Mrs u, n. Nc.
.,~-,, -r-.y :, .,.,,,,,o. 7,r...f4.,, ,r:..
.'" city N"@ ~a"" Hut!"", Prceidc:;. Mr., ) {
f... r,r,;,rr, I-.:t.. y r,,r r..,,s Mr..
~vt1l1 MIS- W. = Far,-h nrc>ilc:.,. Nj, ". y.
e. NJ; J>noie n. HOW H. 'rr'i3vH' Miss J2T
= II ''>''.' ''' '''N'''''''' Mrs
., ,.,- - ,.-, p.,.I,.. ,.. I'LL,
" 20. Holly Springs Miss IAlq ! Pryor,
rF
Ia 80 ~. ,,'''' = .,'''5,N' ''>..'''''
Mr.. Si"NH.H. 'Fe>l"t
lime :. Howe. Pre- Il lca.. Mrs Josie X. Sal
,...., ,....
fi >Ir@,,, "I'. I, '''@'' H. "'''N 'S%,
shown itself 10 be :, failure by tn" fact
that the more tie state gives for pen
>iuns the less th4 really needy veteran
9e7s. the pension role growing more
rlp.ily than the pension funi. That Our
homeless veterans have shOWu lhtir de
sire to be cared Tor in a home by the
fat that several have gone from this
state to ohter states Homes. Some have
died there; some left of own accord. I
suppose (bHcause k30," it to be a facJ
in one instance} because they improved
enough to be seIf-supportin-. and some
are still there. That Mississippi should
He ashamed to AK those veterans to
wait longer. Age ana suffering poverty
can wait, they dcJadHd OCr attention
R03c, before Death steps III to do his
work. This Division viii have done
great work if we can influence our leg
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1900-01-26
027' "a @@-o =HHloovAlll. a. SALE, Sale
-z DLE
I1 tire Stock.

These goods must be sold as We move about
March lSt, into the stOrehOuse recently OC-
oupied by ,. J. Treadwell.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-08-01

senator Butler once had Il bill appro
prlatlng $4,000 to build n monument OF
the Moorc's Creek battlefield, Nortl
Carolina, which was an especial object
of Senator Wulcott's fun.
can the senntor tell me the date o
the hHttleY lie asked MIR. Butler
1T 'as the first battle OF the Revo
luton, % days before the battle OF
Lexington" was the reply.
bat cannot tho senator tell me the
day and the yearT persisted Mr.. VOL
colt
Mr.. Butler was stumped. IL can tell
the senator tomorrow" lie finally re
marked.
"Thrn," replied Mr.. Wolcott, 81 will
let my objection stand until tomorrow
nlso +"
A few minutes later Senator Wolcott
relented, and Mr.. Butler made another
effort to get the appropriation agreed
to- This time It was Senator Lodge
who objected.
"Oh, don't object, Lodge" said VOL
colt in II stage whisper; hell put the
date Of the battle forward year II
you ure Jealous on account OF Licking
ton"
But Mr. Lodge continued to object,
and the monument bin remained on the
calendar. Washington Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-08-01
want that band to foot me off and foot

want that band to loot me off and foot
me home agin."
"There may be a pint" said the dea-
con as he scratched his ear "but l
don't skassly see 1t. Mebbe the squar
wants to say sunthin further about
liberty and Bunker HillY'
I'm sayin," replied the squar us he
heaved a long sigh, that patriotism
ana love of country seems to be dead
ern doornail In these United States.
Mebbe there's man In this crowd
aside from mo who'd be willln to shed
his blood that our glorious republic
might be saved from ruin and desola-
shun, but If thar be can't name him.
You might as well dispense to your
homes and tell your wives and chill
dren that Jericho Is doomed"
by John, but what pint what a
plntf' whispered the deacon. BE
fore we bust up and go to ruin, how
ever, I'd like to hear from Reuben
White. Reuben's bin as far west as
Detroit, and he ought TO know what In
fluence brass band has ON town"
1.-THE influence of IA brass band is ac-
cordin to the leader" said Reuben.
"I've seen 'em where they Jumped a
town right TO the front In four weeks,
and I've seen 'em where they killed
things dead in two. The leader wants
10 be Il pecooliar sort of Il man. He
wants TO be born fur the place, same
us Washington was. He wants to be
ready to die ut two mlnits' notice or TO
live fur hundred years"
And mebbe you think you're that
munY querled the squar as he pound
ed on the counter with his fist.
81 do | know L am. I'm the only
man In Jericho as kin lead band to
success and make the town hump her
self I'm self sacrihcin critter, az
you all know, and II this meetin thinks
best
But the meetln shouted him down,
and 1t wns five minits before Deacon
Spooner could make his voice heard,
and then he said:
"There's more p'ints bobbin up here
than you kin shake a stick at. but we
mlght as well hev one more. S'posin
we hear from Lish Billings He's the
VhiN mum III JcithO Nho nil pihS uh
an accordion. What d'you say, Lish Z"
There's mighty little to be said and
nuthin to bust up the country" an
swered iish. "Do any Of you sons of
Bunker I'm know how much wind 1t
takes TO blow n brass hornf'
Nobody did. and hush fell upon the
crowd
at takes ten pounds, reckoned by n
lung tester" said Lish, land you'd
want an extra pound fur walkin up
hill. There was II lung tester man In
! town two weeks ago, and every son of
ns handed over n nickel and took u
blow. We bowed and strained and
! bowed and RUDE White was ono OF
'em WHO bloWed n sole off his boot
and ylt no man reached seven pounds
Whaf you goin 10 git your wind 10
blow them hornsH
There WAS painful silence while
| you could count hundred, and then
| Deacon SpOouer said:
'By John, but Im goin homo and
tell the old woman that | don't know
beans when the bags united, and the
rest of you'd better do the same
thingW IA. QUAD.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-08-01
Ihn Nnr,. sIn.,x

The Indian name Sioux. as 1t ap-
pears In such town names us Sioux
Falls. Sioux city and Sioux Rapids, Is
usually pronounced 800" but some
times, In the east chiefly, that simple
pronunciation Ii not known com
mitteeman not long ag0 visited u school
In New England, where he henrd the
pupils say "Si-ox" with complete as
surance. At favorable opportunity
he quietly spoke to the teacher Of the
error. saying. "You know, II IL 500 "
whereupon she asked the attention Of
the school and solemnly announced
"You have all been pronounclns this
word wrong It Is not 'Si.ox,' but 500
OK. The committeeman lacked the
courage to pursue the subject further,
Exchange.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1900-08-01
COULDN'T FOOL HIM.
This Man Knew IA Steamboat When
He Saw One

He Saw One.
The agent of one of the ocean steam
ship lines. says the Chicago Tribune,
told the following story of st Louis
mun who got Into New York the day
after the maiden arrival of Il great
liner:
After gazing at the vessel from the
pier the st LouiSan said to the man at
the gangplank.
Purity good sized steamboat"
shes liner, ocean liner" was the
lofty reply.
She's purity high up, amt she?"
ocean liners have to be But when
she Is under way she doesn't look SO
high"
"Hcr chimneys amt very high.
though"
You mean her tunnels No; they
never make them high for liners"
Hinges on en-
"NeYer heard of hinges on funnel"
How does she get under the
BRIDGE
What BRIDGE
why, any bridge Steamboats, out
our way have hinges on their chin
neys, and when they come to the
bridges over the river they lower the
chimneys, and she scoots under Ike
she was creased"
The man at the gangplank observed
the st. Louis man with lofty indIffer
ence
'She aln't got any Warehouses; on
her sides nor none at her stern" re
marked the st. Louis man after he had
made further inspection.
Liners have propellers," said the
man at the gangplank. and his nose
turned UP yisibly.
well, I'll bet she can't run. 1t takes
two wheels and bow like an arrow
head and IA seant hold to give II steam
boat speed. sonny. and don't you forget
It. II this steamboat was to get into
the Mississippi. she'd go hard aground
first clip
Il have told YOU this Is not n steam
bout"
"Shucks! You can't gimme that
saw pieter of her In one of our news
papers before left home, and the
printin under II said steamboat hC
you think ST Louis editor don't know
u steamboat when he sees oneY You're
not on to your job yet.