The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-01-03


u n threw up his feet on the
opposite seat and told the
following story:
"Of course, didn't escape being a
victim of the rage for 'women's edi-
tions' which swept over the land few
months ago. The ladies of a local So
cicty for the amelioration of some
thing or other descended upon me and
l surrendered, took two pipes, pound
Of smoking tobacco and fishing rod
and decamped. leaving the Budget in
their charge for one week. with the
privilege of making all they could out
Of 1t. My printer was supposed to
stay. but. being by classification Il
tramp, and having a heavy board bill
hanging over his head by single hair,
he embraced the opportunity, two
hours after had gone. to walk away
down the railroad track. This left the
mechanical end of the office at the
mercy of the devil an inky imp called
'Tatters.' The ladies were Il good deal
disturbed at the detection of the print
er. but bravely decided to go ahead
with Tatters to get out the paper.
They called him into give him some
instructions. He stood before them
wearing. as usual, long apron stiH
with ink, paste and unknown substan-
ces the only thing which saved his
face from being in the same cond1on
as his apron was the fact that he was
in the habit of constantly twisting it
into so many shapes that the ink, paste
and unknown substances on 1t neva~
had time to stiffcn. His hair pointe /
in all directions, like that of jack
in-the-bov. and in his left hand he car
ricd "A section of IA column of wet type.
"'What aye you doing, Tatters?'
inquired the lady who was president
of the amelioration society. with some
dignity.
"'Throwin' in answered the imp.
Throwing in WHAT
TYPE
"'Into what
1.-The case. Think was THROWN 1t
into my hate
"The lady looked at him coldly and
he went on:
"'But I'm most through and you'll
hear me hollerin' for copy in bout a
quarter of a hour and he retreata1
into the composing room and slamm I'd
the door.
"The ladies We're indignant, but there
was clearly nothing to do but to Gr:1
and bear It, A few minutes later tn r. ;
came n most dismal, long drawn wall
from the other room, which. after sOlna
effort, they managed to interpret al;
the promised 'hollern'.' 1t was Col
lowed by the appearance Of Tatters'
head at the door.
What is ito asked the president,
who had been chosen editor-in-c chief,
a little sharply.
Copy returned Tatters. Did you
hink ] was singing the Doxolergy?'
There is no copy ready yet. Can't
'ou be doing something else"'
"'I can that" and he snatched off
.,is apron and started for the door. 4
can be going fishing just as easy as
not
"'Tatters" cried the frightened edi-
tor, springing before the door. don't
you dare to desert u.s. You stay here
till some copy is ready for you
''Tatters retreated and put on his
apron in an agitated frame of mind.
"A moment later ono of the younger
ladies, who had been appointed man
aging editor, took n roll Of daintily
written manuscript. from her handbag,
and said:
Here. Tatters, is something which
you can begin on
"Tattcrs took it, shifted, glanced at
It and said:
What is it, spring poetry?'
"'No: it's the essay that read at
CONNIE encement. We shall put it on
the fourth Iage
"'What. the editorial page shrieg-
ed Tatters. Put such CUFF as that on
the editorial page nf the Budget Not
much, and Re tossed the manuscript
on the table.
1--WE shall certainly do as we see
fit interposed the cditOr-in-chief with
great dignity.
~ rcsign.' cried Tattors. again tear
ing off his apron and throwing it be-
hind him, where II stuck in the city
editors lap, greatly to her dismay. i
resign my pesish. that's all. Here, if
you want it in ink, gimme pen.
1.emme write ii out in black an
white-"Dcar Madame: hereby re-
sign NV rossh. (SigneD Tatters."
Gimme per, ! saw
"ratters, be calm--act reasonable, :
said the editor-in-chief in soothing
tone. What shall we put on the edi-
torial page?'
Editorials, of course, he answered,
slightly Modified.
Ion what subject
Tariff n currency.
"'l'ut we don't know anything about
the tariff and the currency.
Neither does the boss, but he
writes two columns ,lout ,ep, o,ary
week. Eut If YOU can't do it write
about bikes
This struck the ladies favorably.
and one of them began writing an ar
ticle on the bicycle craze. while the
city editor handed Tdtters an item,