davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10
WREN EARTH IS ALL KNIVES
Many Lost n Few FoundI Where
Does the Pocket Gallery Secrete
ItseIf,-One Mans Theories.

A nan with no particular liking for
statistics discovered the other day that
within a hundred years the farmers
of the country will be blowing knives,
sowing their grain in knives, reaping
It from knives, and all the while will
be buying knives for their own use.
According to his theory, what is now
soil must sooner Of later give way to
a solid bed Of cutlery. Earth, he says,
will become in time something for
only the miners TO view.
TIE man who discovered all this en-
tered a North side hardware store TO
buy a knife TO replace the one he had
lost the day before. Lets see." he ru-
minated, "this il the second knife 1
have bought in a month. In the last
year I've lost six, or was it seven?
Guess, come 70 think about II, 1t was
seven. Seven knives a year lost and
10 knives found. Wonder where they
all go2"
The hardware man was unable 10
enlighten his customer, and he left
the store ~brooding over the problem.
During the next few days he ques-
TONED 20 friends Only six Of them
had ever found a knife, and all OF them
had lost dozens Of them.
This set the Searcher for the truth
to thinking harder than ever. The
knives certainly did not go up In va
por, and neither did they become dis
integrated and return TO atoms. They
must, then, be swallowed by the earth.
Sooner or later the ground must he
come full Of knives. Then the man
who was now wild for truth took mis-
pencil and figured;
boy from Ave TO ten years Of age
loses average Of ten knives a year, to
tai Of so knives; IS 20 20 years Oess
csreless), loses average Of FIVE knives
a year, total Of IS knives; from then
on until death, say tput it smalD, he
loses two knives a year, which, II the
mar lives TO be 40 years Of age, means
40 more knives lost, or a grand total Of
IFS knives lost. All this time, perhaps
he has found five knives, which leave,
the total at 10"
Then the man with the pencil, just
TO be sure that his estimate was moi
exaggerated, cut his figures in two and
had for a remainder 90 knives lost II
an average lifetime, with no knire,
found. This was not considering tn,
girls and their lost penknives.
So the mar with the pencil, who's
brain was buzzing and who didn't dar,
carry his calculations any farther
c~ontented himself with the conclusion
that the time is bound TO come wher
the earth Is a solid bed Of lost kniyei
which nobody can ind-Cbicago Trib
n
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10

PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT.


Washington, March 6.-The senate
committee on the Philippines decided
Monday - report the bill introduced
by Senator spooner, of Wisconsin, for
control Of The Philippines. Senator
Lodge, chairman Of the committee,
made the report to the senate. The
bill is as follows:
That when all instruction against the
sovereignty n authority Of the United
States In the Philippine Islands acquired
from Spain by the treaty concluded a.
Paris On the 18th day Of December. p9s,
shall have beer completely suppressed
b. the military M naval forces Of ths
United States. all military, civil and judi
cial powers necessary TO govern the said
Islands shall. until otherwise provided BY
congress. be vested In such person and
persons. and shall be exercised In suet
name as the president Of the UniteC
States shall direct for maintaining ant
protecting the Inhabitants Of said Is
lands In the free enjoyment Of their lib
erty. property "~S religion.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10

A curious incident, involving the
question Of honor in pairing" is re-
ported from North Adams, Mass. A
citizen who desired to be out Of town
on election day arranged a pair with
another citizen Of opposite political
faith, the latter pledging himself not
TO vote. Citizen No. / went on his
journey, but citizen No. 2 violated bis
pair and voted for his candidate. For
this he was summarily discharged
from bis position in a prominent man
u~facturing establishment, the propri.
etors saying that they had no desire
TO dictate to their employees how they
should vote, but that they could not
regard as worthy Of trust or conf
dence any person who would dishonor.
ably violate his solemn pledge. This
so impressed the discharged employe
that he made a public apology for his
offense, saying that he did not at first
realize its seriousness.-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10
WAYS OF THE CANDY STORE.
Some stores Let Clerks Eat what
They Want-hen and Women
Who Like candy.

There Is an old story to the effect that
II is a custom in candy stores TO tell the
new clerk TO eat all the candy she
wants; the result being that she is
soon surfeited and wants no more candy
for a long time. The fac, appears to be
that, substantially, there Is no rule or
custom in candy stores regarding the
eating Of candy by the salespeople. 1t
10, Of course, required that they shall
not eat candy in the presence Of GUS
toners; IL might be possible that a
aew clerk who developed an inordlns;s
toDdness for candy would require a
gentle hint; but clerks are rot told
when they begin work that they may
or may o eat candy; nothing is said
about that at all; and they DO as they
please about il, and eat what they want;
governing themselves il is TO be pre-
sumed by discretion and common sense.
1t is also the common testimony that
people do not get tired Of candy BY be-
ing always in the midst Of it; and this
seems TO apply alike 10 those engaged
in the manufacture Of candy and the
handling Of it by wholesale, and to
the clerks engaged n the constant &C
tual handling CT candy in the sale Of it
al retail. Those who are fond Of candy,
men as vel as women, are not surfeited
by the sight Of il in quantities con-
stantly surrounding them; fit is good
candy they keep on liking it just the
same, and enjoy eating what they want
OF Il.
As TO whether men or women like
candy better there was some difference
in the expressed opinion. At some
places II was said that men and women
liked candy equally we'll; it was said,
Tor instance, that in a little company
Of men and wouen eating candy, the
men would eat as much as the women.
At one place where the opinion was
expressed that men, take them alto
gether, do not ike candy so well as
women do, II vas said that II a man
was fond Of candy be was likely TO be
very fond Of II, so that he might eat O
quantity Of Il at a time. II was every
where said that among children boyI
and girls are alike In their love for
candy; but taking into account ex.
presslous Of people outside the business
as we'll as those IN IT, the weight Of
opinion seemed 10 be that among grown
persons there are more women with q
Iweet tooth than men; that Ia 10 say
that men are not so fond Of candy a,
women.
While the customers n the candy
shops In the shopping districts Of the
city are almost exclusively women
there may be found candy stores a very
large proportion Of whose many Gus
toners are men. These shops are found
in the region devoted to trade ant
finance and occupations in which mel
are more commonly engaged and in
terested. These men, however, are buy
ing mainly for home consumption, II
city or suburbs; and in these latei
years there has been seen among h,
purchasers here an increasing percent
age Of women customers due to TIL
Increasing number OF women employed
IN that part Of the city.-Chicago Lntel
Ocean.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10
THE BOSS BARBER.
II 10 IL AIwnys Avoided by the Nan
Who Knows What His Pc
c~ullnritleH Are.

You're next, SIR" said the boss bar
Der, indicating q fat man who was
buried behind a newspaper. IN wait
for awhile" replied the fat man. I'm
In no hurry" As another man climbed
into the vacant chair the fat man leaned
over 10 another customer who was wait
ing his turn and conGded that he was in
a hurry, a deuced hurry, but be would
rather lose his turn than be shaved by
the proprietor Of the shop. 1T isn't
that have any grievance against this
particular barber" he went on, but
! shun ell boss BARRIERS as I would a
plague. In the first place, be pa,ronizes
you, and In the second place he Is In.
yariably the worst barber In The shop.
Then, too. Il takes him about twice as
long. He will lather one side Of your
face and then 60 over 10 the desk 10
make change for o customer who Ia 90
ing out, for be Ia generally his own
cashier. He considers Il bis duty to er.
change airy persiGage with each Gus
toner ~ he leaves the chop, and BY
the time he gets back 10 you your face
IL caked In cold lather This usually
happens four or Eve times while you are
getting shaved, and you may consider
yourself lucky II a salesman for O per
fumery or soap house doesn't come in
to talk up bis wares. In that event you
are bound To be kept in waiting for ten
or fifteen minutes, and when you are
finally shaved your peace Of mind is
destroyed for the rest Of the day. No
boss BARRIERS In mine. ! know EN- 100
well, and wait every tlme."-PhihdeL
phls Record
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10
A BULLFINcH REVIVAL.


In the usual course Of change in fash
ions, which affect the choice Of pes as
much ne they affect taste of dress, liter
allure and drama, that old fsvoriie the
piping buHhnch Is coming into high IA
for in New York just now. The bull
finch is "the parrot Of the temperate
zone" not because he ever learns to
talk, like his tropical prototype, but be
cause, having no wood notes wild Of
his own, he can learn to whistle human
music and often distinguishes himself
as a soloist.
A leading New York bird seller who
Is now doing a flourishing business in
bullfnches last week gave this account
Of the bullfnch revival: ''They used to
be favorite pets on the other side; |
don't know that they were ever before
very popular here. OF course, the bull
finch is not an American bird, but a ma
tive 81 Europe. Some Of those import
come from England, but more from Ger
many. As you know, a fashion like that
is generally set going by some notable
or another. In this case the German
kaiser is responsible. B~ullfnches are
a hobby with him; he has six Of them
that whistle Die Yacht am Rhein' in
chorus, and now some OF my men from
over there tell me he has a new bird
learning to whistle a song which has
lately become popular in Germany
Kruger Is a Bully Boy"
This startling indication OF the
kaiser's international tendencies, the
dealer said, has not yet got into print
on this side Of the Atlantic. But" he
added, we in the trade are far ahead Of
the papers on all that kind Of news"
The coRsignments Of birds are
brought over from Germany under the
care Of a regular professional "yogel.
handler" The great field for gathering
%bullfnches is said TO be the duchy OF
Hesse, There the birds are taken, IN
hedged, from the nests and patiently
taughtto whistle their little repertories
while they are still young. The old
story that needles are thrust into their
eyes to make them sing better Is ridi-
culed by the dealers, who say that moth
ing but petting will make a bullfnch
a good performer. you cant do any.
thing with them by punishment. Even
& cross word will upset a bullfnch and
make him sulky. As for putting out
their eyes, to say nothing Of the cruelty
Of II, II would ruin a birds appearance
and destroy his market value."-N. Y.
Tribune
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10
SABLE ISLAND PONIES
They Are said TO Resemble ThSss
Fouad on the Sculptures OF
NiaeVeh Islhnd-

Tie story o. animal life on Sable Is
land Il strange. Roaming the sandy
wastes are herds Of wild ponies guard
vd by patriarchal stations. These
ponies resemble the horses on the
sculptures Of Nineveh, and approach
the beholder seemingly out Of the
framework Of antiquity. They are
stocky and remarkable for their long
Names which in Instances have been
known 70 grow 10 the length Of three
yards. These ponies are the remnant
of a stock thought TO have been left by
some Portuguese fsheTmeu-~Portin-
gals the old records quantity call
them-who touched at the island 90
their fishing expeditions u even an
earlier date than Marquis &c ls Roche.
At one time there were from 400 TO 500
wild ponies Oh the island. bot their
number has been decreased By exporta-
ton, the severity OF the winters, and,
some people think, by the importation
Of improved, domesticated stations
which have made the stock less hardy
ard consequently more susceptible 70
death from exposure. Their are now
between 50 and 100 wild ponies and
about 81 for domestic use. Mounted on
ponies. the life-savers gallop over the
dunes and among the hillocks on their
long patrols, and the life-boats are
drawn to the scenes Of shipwreck BY
teams OF FIVE ponies, three 81 The shaft
ard two leaders. Some Of the wild
ponies are sent 10 Halifax every year or
two, and are sold az auction al an aver
age price Of from SIS 10 SIS.
The "PortinCailk" also stocked the
island with cattle, which increased so
rapidly that people from the mainland
made expeditions 70 the island and re-
turned with enough live stock to make
their trips most profitable. Atone time
the island was quite o%verruWwith rab-
bits. Then two rat.infested Norwegian
vessels were wrecked there and the
rats, swimming ashore, began to ex.
terminate the rabbits and 10 attack the
government stores, Cats were then i'm.
ported from Halifax to kill the rats, and
after awhile the cats increased so In
number that dogs were imported 10 Kill
the cats. Latterly the island was again
Overrun with rats from wrecked vessels
and another cargo OF cats wal imported
from Halifax. Once there were pigs OF
the inland; but they have been ex
terminated because they had becom,
ghouls feasting on the remains Of cast
Always. Death In its most horrid form,
Is always the burden Of Sable island
story.--Ainslee's.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10

The Zulu boy servants are much m.
preciaied In Afica, but they have dif.
heu'tios with the English LANGUAGE
Their special weakness Is The c%obiusion
OF the Letters 90" and r." As result,
Instead Of saying that "breakfas, n
ready they aunoJnce, to the astopi,b.
ment Of the stfBnger, "B!ack. faced
'ady' oaas'' They make excellent sery.
ants One particularly faithful boE
was always very careful as TO whom
be admitted into the house. One dsy
three visitors called, one OF whom bad
come without a card. lie ushered tbs
hrst two into tb, drawinQ.room. bnt
insisted on the other staying In tbe
haiL Two misseA," he explained. got
'ickeli you got no ticket. you wait ont.
side!" The wise 10y knew quite well
that be himself wouldn't be allowed IN
a saloon without a ticket; wbv. then,
should he admit white ladies 2-Londop
w.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10
The Editor. Mistake.

Editors have their troubles, One Of
these men who presides over the desti.
mes OF a western newspaper Is mourn
ing the loss Of two Aubscriber,. No.
J wrote asking how to raise bis twlns
safely, while the other wanted 10 know
how he might rid bis orchard Of grass
boppers. The answers went forward
by mail, but by accident the editor put
mem into the wrong envelopes, so that
the mar with the twins received the
answer;
lover them carefully with straw
and SET fire TO II, and then the little
pests after jumping In the flames for a
few minutes, will be speedily settled
And The man with the transformer,
was told to "giv. castor oil and rub
their guml With a bons,"-Columbiap.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10

II, the rht dir 'rurt Dis -hceS t7i
held him art booked lru- r17 ts low
inc ewes ard w-1iarei ir- vtat high
position BE- was a- t,tct Et en-
teredNseu-,h tirttlc0A Tho void
heekonef him fssris cAec-ei Bin
but The arriers slot % bins vas men
Sc, urau Tor tIa bad .l. booked
fast 10 him Win ftt.r i--- r-aup
his feet s,irrel 90 tie way -rc u1tnr
he lies Who would ti'rA that that
uneombed hair was orce toged with
b. a fathers fr-e-s WAC wouid
think that those b'oaied checks were
ever kissed by a mothers bps Would
o guess that the; thick tongue ~
made = household glad with It's limo
vent prottles Utter 10 harsh words
in his ear. Help him up Put the hat
over that once manly brow. Brush the
dust from that coat that orce covered
n generous heart show him the way
to the home that ouc reioiced 81 the
sound Of his foo-step end with gentle
words tell his children TO stand back
as you help him through the bah.
That vas q kind husband once and
anindulgenttather lie will kreel with
them no more as cree he did 81 family
prayers-the Httle ones with claspsd
hands LOOKING up into the heavens with
Thanksgiving for their happy home
Shake of the Sabbath breaker. OF,
turn your back upon these men. Shake
of the skertic. Shake OF the id,er.
Shake of the ~pleasurist. You may DO
this work Of 2 isction in politeness but
you NAV do IL firmly. You ? not IN
der any circumstances to lose all ther re-
membrance Of the fact that you are 8
gentleman and must always act the
gentleman. 4 young man said 20 a
Christian Quaker: "Oid chap, how did
you get your money!"
"Well,~ said the Quaker, y got it By
dealing in an article in which thou
msyest deal II thou vilt-civility."
Be courteous. be polite, but be firm.
Say No as il you ueaLtlt. Hyous say
"No" in a feeble way, they viii keep on
with their im~ploration and their temp
tation, and after awhile you will stand
in silence, and then you VIII say, after
they have gone on a little longer. Yes
and then you are lost.
Oh, turn your back upon the ban
quet Of sinl I call you to a better feast
to-day. The promises Of God are the
fruits. The harps OF Heaven are the
music. The clusters Of Eschol are
pressed into the talkards The sons
and daughters Of the Lord Almighty
are the guests, while standing at the
banquet TO pour the wicc and divide
the clusters and command the music
and welcome the guests rs a daughter
Of God, on her brow the blossoms Of
paradise and in her check the flush OF
celestial summer. And her name is Re
ligion. Her ways are ways Of pleas
G%ntness, and all her paths are peace"
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10
Not Many BibIe studer,,.

Young men, before entering one Of
the principal medical schools Of this
country are examined as to their gen
eral knowledge. One Of the questions
given 10 the candidates for one Of
these schools last year was. What are
the names Of the books Of the Bible?"
or 100 answers, only FIVE were correct.
Among the names Of the books were:
"philistrEes," Marcus Aurelius" and
"Epistle to the Fiipinos ."-Ladies'
Home journal.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10
MANY REBELS DEAD.
Gen. Bates Expedition to Southern
Lursn Fad Sens Hard Fighting.
Al Libuaaraa. Nsrth % New caeersa ta'
Easny ~. osssss "a aaa stsans Re
.isted our rrSsP. N = fsres
EaNc.rI NharsA

Manila March 6-Gen Bates eX-
petition 10 southern Luna consist
ing Of the Eorueth and Forty-hfth
regiments. a total Of $3.50 men, has
occupied Nueya Caeeres, province OF
south Csmarines; Daet province OF
North CamarineS and the neighboring
smaller towns The enemy resisted
az one point and two Americans were
killed, including Lieut. John T. TAI
leher, Of the FOrtieth regiment
On February 20 the expedition ar
rived At san Miguel bay, landed and
in three columns Immediately pushed
inland. eonverging upon Nueya Ca
ceres, and attempting to control the
enemy's routes 10 retreat. At Lib
msnan. north Of Nueys Cseeres, the
enemy was concealed in the rice field
and resisted a battalion OF the For
ueth regiment, which engaged them
at close quarters with bayonets.
After 20 minutes fighting the enemy
fed aud LiomAnan vas occupied.
The Americans buried g. Of the
enemy, whose total loss in killed and
wounded is estimated at 40.
From Lithuanian the expedition pro-
eeeded 70 Nueva Cseeres, the gunbost
Psraguz arriving ten minutes ahead
OF the troops. The town was found
practically deserted. The Americans,
daily scouting in the vicinity, report
that the enemy have retreated into
the mountains.
The insurgents around Legaspi and
Albay,. province Of South Camarines,
are harassing the Americans nightly
Foreigners doing business at Legaspi
are living in ships in the harbor or
in the American barracks.
Led ihto al Ambash-
Manila, March 6.-Lieut. Edgar F.
Koheler, Of the Ninth infantry. was
sho: in the abdomen and killed at a
village six miles north Of Tarlac.
where he went in search Of some hid.
den rifles. A Filipino, promising TO
produce the rifles, led him into an am
bush away from his command. The
soldiers in revenge burned the village
and killed "a Of the enemy.
The transport sheridan viii sail to-
day with 100 soldiers and convicts and
20 insane soldiers.
InsurGsnts Plan = Guerrilla Warfare.
Manila, March 5.-Reports reach the
Associated press from various sources,
including army officers and the heads
OF commercial houses with agents
throughout the island, Of continued
activity among the insurgents, who
are e%ndeayoring TO keep alive the
armed opposition TO the United
States and are planning to continue
the insurrection with guerrilla war.
fare On a large scale when the rainy
season begins.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10
OLD CUSTOMS IN VOGUE
soath caroIina Legtsiators S1iII Insist
IN hi Ponp and Ctrsaony
Of the Early Days

The South Carolina Legislature and
courts still maintain soEae OF the pic
turesque En glisb forms and customs
unknown in the younger states and
long aince discarded by othen Of the
Is ~odginalA"
Even her, however. some Of the nw
judges are getting Lax in their require
ments and do not insist or the pomp
and ceremony. The sheriff stu calls
at the judges hotel escorts him to the
courthouse, and accompanies him back
10 his lodging place when court takes
a recess, but the old judges required
that the escort wear q cooked bat
adorned with a flowing black ostrich
plume. ard that be carry a sword at the
carry" The small boys on the streets
we're edited by this solemn procession
four times a day during court week.
The reform judges elected in the last
few years have not encouraged thi, dis
play. Al q convention Of judges Just
held, however. q rule was made requir-
ing all gentlemen Of the bar aud court
officials to appear IN black habits" and
making it the duty Of the sheriff to en-
force the same. All the judges wear
flowing black gowns.
The house Of Representatives does rot
consider itself properly constituted un-
I'll the great mace Is suspended OF the
face Of the s-sakerE desk, over the
heads Of the reporters, and the same
holds good as TO the four-foot silver
sword In the senate. Recently when
the ssrgsant-at-arms had omitted to
hang the mace In the house the proceed
ings were stopped by a member who
called attention to the absence OF the
emblem, and a suspension was had
while the mace was being produced.
On occasions where there are joint as
ssnblies, and especially at inaugura
tons, tle sergeRntS-at-arms, the on,
bearing the mace, the other the sword
head the procession from the senate
chamber TO the house Of representa-
tveE. The speaker Of the house anC
president OF the senate follow immedi
ately after those officials in rich purpl'
and black silk and velvet gownt@hi
eago Inter Ocean.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1900-03-10

osiriches have only recently been do
mesticated in South Africa. Only so
were in captivity in 1865, ten years
later there were 2i,75l being cared for
~ Cape Colony, and in 1897 237,9 900.
The true wild bird still exists north OF
the Wal and Orange river, but is eager
" hunted FOR It's feathers, which de-
mnnd a higher price than those Of the
domesiioated brelhren.--N, Y. Sun.