Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1900-08-11
When POP" Dressed the Baby


Sleep that way while you can
The time'n come soon enough
When you have to hustle all day
And lie awake all night wonderin'
where tomorrow nights goin' to nnd you
OF course ole pop'n take you tff.t 4 70
Man that wouldn't take a boy your size
When he holds out his arms that way
And Fuckers I'D his lips like that
Would steal a horse fc S. -e.rfs
Come On, old man. les you and DOB now
Have whole barrel O. FUN. - VIZ %. 6
Come and sit down ~
On old pops lap Mamma said
She d got to get breakfast this morntn
And sent the old mar up to dress you
Amt that q whole big picnic?
Well / guess
Wen show EN- how to dress a boy
Wen show her that there's others
Well have the boy all dressed and washed
And combed I'D slick andN down to breakfast
Fore they get the pancakes on the stove.
And then well give EN- the merry ha-ha
Won't we. StubbyT Now, let's see;
Where does this nightie unbutton-in the backf
To kick IL was you, Stubby.
You amt very big. but you re goin' to be-
And they might jes' well be lettin you practice
Having your clothes made right end first
Now the other arm.
Whoop! There she comes!
Now, what's this? Some kind OF a shirtI
Do YOU keep this on all day7
Or does this come Off now7
aave you got substitute shirt for daytimef
Guess Wen take her of on a venture.
Here. take your hand out of your mouth
Stick up that arrn-So, therel
There we arel Gee. what a backl
You're a vest-pocket Sandow, that's what you
You're all right, stubby! You keep that shape
For 20 years and the world Is yours
Now sit I'D herei
Quit your doubln' up. How do you sposs
l can get anything on you that way7
Here's somethin' that looks like q shirt;
Les get into this a venture.
That's the wayl Good boy. Stubbyi
Other arm. now-no. not your foot-your hand
Hold on. now:
Wait minute till pop gets these buttons
Into the buttonholes
Whist the donnerwetter
Do they make these holes 10 blamed small fort
how can a full-sized man get q hold OF
Button like that7
These women folks don't use sense do theyf
Well. there's one In;
I guess that's buttons enough for a small boy
Itll have to do. anyway. What's all this?
Here seems to be three skirts and a hitchinS
All in one bunch. Yea. sit there and 600
What Go you know about trouble. anyway
What want to know n does this prize puzzle
Go over your head your feet
What do you carer You don't need to WORRY,
You set your breakfast whether
School keeps or not
But where do come In. heys
Don't you s'pcse want to eat. eoof
Hind side fors-wsii. whats the eisf '''
stand up now while give 'epa q twisty
Ali hands round promenade to ssstsi
There your are. my soni
Ten dollars reward for any old mamma
That can beat that Job of skirt hanging
Now will you kindly cease wigRlin
While match these buttons TO buttonholesf
Big button In a broad buttonhole,
Little button In a little buttonhole
And here's a button left over with no button
Now where does that button GOT
Open your mouth and stick out your tongue,
Le'me see If you swallowed that buttonhois.
There. there. stubby: pops only jokin'.
We got buttonholes to burn.
Now what do we do with that strap. do you
II you do. you cam, tell. can your
I'll tell you what 1 think. Stubby;
think that straps a superhuity;
It's too short to go round your stomach
And It's too long to go round your nscks
] guess we pass up the strap.
What's the sense havin' useless things
In n helpless infants wardrobe3
There's only one way this can o go OS Se.'
over the baby's head. Peek-a-bool
Ahi seven more buttons This Is a sood thinxi
I'm FLAG this dress covers Up all the Other
Mamma can't see what we didn't do.
Two stockings and two shoes NEXT ehf
Stick out your foot
Aw- quit bendin' your knee that wayI
Stick 1t out straight; hold her there nows
Never mind little pig went to market
That's all right when you're goin' to bed.
But this IL a matter of business
YIN you hold out that foot. or won't your
Don't put 1T in your mouth-stick It Quit
Now hold STILL
Ho-old still. now-ons. two, three
Heel on top, but guess thatn do; .,.
I amt goin' through all that again,
Not for all the boys in the Thirty-ssoona ward
aark! Hear that bell Subj
What does bell say1 ..
Bells says breakfast ready. Herr you ara
Only one stoctin' on Sit stu now quicki
Here goes little req shoe,
Right on little red stocking
- there any right an lsft to thsxe shoesf
Try this one anyway. Hurry up how,
I'm gettin hungry. You got to sit stu nov
An let me finish this Job right now
Or I'll begin to get huffy at you.
I can stand good deal without Eckin',
But you ought to have q little bit o. sense.
Grfnntn' like an ape there-Quit Il nowi
Stick them red toes into that nhos quicki
You think this Is good Joke don't youf
Well, II amt
] want Il understood t.
amt no nurse girl. not on your rra
One shoe on and one shoe on,
Diddle diddle, dumping my son John
That's shoes enough for boy your saza.
Let the other go till after breakfast
Come on, now, les go downstairs;
crab CRAB hold tight; that's the way; hug ole poD
Tight Here we go downstairs now
Down, down, down!
Hello. mamma, here we are aGainl
All ready TO eat.
Got your old breakfast ready1
What are you Laughing att Baby's bare fcots
or course. that's the way to come 6ownstaaxA
Always come with one foot bare. don't vet
Here. madam. take your child
I want to tell you right here and now,
That I've done this nursegirI act .
For the very last time-seef
You tend your own youngones.
Or get someone else to do it;
I'm not in the market any longer
What have you done with the papsrf
Great snakesi Is there any good rsA&sA
Why we can't have some hot cones
Once In two OF three years.
Anyway Chicago Daily Record
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