The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1900-04-14
The Fable OF DiOgeneS.

less habits, but the people of Greece
had not taken a tumble to him yet
and they called him philosopher
Nowadays they are called tramps.
But it was different in those days.
If a man acted oddly and neglected
the common decencies of life. he was
not taken out behind the barn anG
kicked into the middle of next week
as he should have been, but he was
called philosopher.
There are a good many people yet
who have the same qualifications,
but we call them hoboes.
Diogenes wouldn't work, so he
concluded to go into the philosophy
business, and found it a very easy
way to make living,
His father had made up his mind
to try an experiment on Diogenes,
hence he never corrected him; but
when grown up folks came to the
house, little Diogenes would stick in
his CAB when he had no business,
and would shut his father clear out
of the conversation. He did this to
such an extent that many of the
neighbors were glad, indeed, when
he got the measles, in the hope that
he wouldn't get over it, but he came
out smiling.
Diogenes was more a case of mis-
applied confidence on the part of his
folks than anything else. If he had
been licked within an inch of his life,
every chance the old man had, he
might not have been a philosopher,
but he would haye been a good deal
more account as bread and butter
making citizen. That was what got
the matter with Greece. They all
wanted to 60 into the philosophy
business, and none wanted to work
Too much philosophy will ruin
any nation. If our country ever
goes into bankruptcy and finds it
necessary to make sp assignment, it
will not be on account of the poll
ticians nor the demagogues nor the
Doodle aldermen.
1t will be the fault of too many
philosophers.
Diogenes was too shiftless and ut
terly no account to have a place to
live, so he made a virtue of necessity
and took up his abode in a tub. He
never took a bath except in the
spring, just as the ice went out and
the geese flew north. When his
clothes needed patching he had to go
to bed.
If he was ever married we never
heard of it, and we always feel like
congratulating the woman who
didn't marry him. The world owes
its sympathy to any woman who
marries philosopher.
1t is related that one day Diogenes
went forth with lantern in quest
of an honest man. But we think
that is lie. That would have been
too much like work. If the story
was that he sent some one, there
might be something in it.
Diogenes was lazy lout of a loaf
er from choice, and the only reason he
was ever called philosopher was
because he was a cynical, sour,
grouchy old bear. A good many
people get their regulations the same
way, who have no other claim to it,
1t is also related that Alexander
once called upon him and asked him
what he wanted. He said, 81 want
you to stand from between me anC
the sunlight. But that is simply one
of ldog's lies, because all loafers are
also tremendous liars.
Once upon a time he went to q
banquet given by Plato, unbidden,
and trampled upon his fine carpet
with his muddy feet, and said
thus | trample upon your pride, o,
Plato!"
"But with still greater pride, D
Diogenes," said Plato, which shows
that Plato was on to him with both
feet.
We believe this story because all
buns are likewise great feeders, and
if they are not hidden guests, they
are i'll bred enough and indecent
enough to go anyway. If Diogenes
were living today, the kids in the
streets would get him out of the
notion of being a philosopher, and
mavhe he would 90 To work