Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1900-05-26

see him. Minks-How? Winks-He
never looks like one.-New York Week
ly.
Doctor-And the twins? Are they
well? Papa-Quite well, thank you.
How do they sleep" "In day and
night shifts"
A woman can never carry out her
resolution to snub another woman IL
she meets her when she has on her
new hat.-New York Press.
"Going to the Paris show?" mo.
compromised with my wife, and we're
going to stay at home and study
French.-Philadelph North Ameri-
can.
"War can always be avoided" assert
ed the%ecturer. The man in the back
row laughed scornfully. Evidently"
be said, "the speaker is not married.
Chicago Post.
Joe-Aren'e you rejoiced that out
door sports have begun againY "Out-
door sports? oh, say-you don't mean
It's time to beat carpets again, do your
Chicago Record.
Bookkeeper-Your wife Is at the door.
sir, and would like to speak to you
moment. Mr.. Sellers-Yes; Just see
what my balance at the bank Is, will
you?-Harper's Bazaar.
! Eyes, madam" sighed the ash man,
II have seen better days. l was once
an ice man, but was fred" "Ah,
see," said the lady; you were reduced
to ashes" -Philadelphia Record.
"Marie, after we are married what
course shall you pursue to retain my
love" "Oh, Harry, l shall spend an
awful lot of money on fine clothes and
look just as pretty as can."-Chicago
Record.
Mans obiter dictum: He-There are
two periods in mans life when he
never understands a woman. She-In-
deed, and when are they? He-Before
he Is married and afterward.- Golfers
Weekly.
Mrs. Tucker-Tommy, what makes
you SO late? Tommy-Had some words
with the teacher. and she kept me In
after school. Mrs. Tucker-You had
words with the teacher? Tommy
Yes'm. l couldn't spell 'em.-Chicago
Tribune.
I'm glad to see the snow disappear
ing" he said. 81 suppose that you are
thinking of the horrible crossings 1t
makes" mo, not exactly. There are
several bad boys in our neighborhood
and they don't care who they pelt with
soakers."
Bibbs-How Is it Jones has thrown
np South Africa. l thought he volun-
teered? Dibbs-So he did, but he al
:ered his mind. Bibbs-What made him
do that? Dibbs-He got to know that
his mother-in-law was going out as a
nurse.-Pick-Me-Up
'"Thurston Tompkins says he Is In
poverty through no fault of his own"
How does he make that out" "Why,
be says he was born with expensive
tastes, but without sense enough to
earn the money to keep up with them"
indianapolis Journal.
81 didn't know you intended to move
this spring" I'VE don't. But your
wife told me she was out looking at
houses all day yesterday. "Well, that's
true enough; but don't you know there
Is a vast difference between looking
at houses and looking for houses ?"-
Chicago Times.
She-Oh, Harry, did you mail that
horrid, hateful letter l wrote papa? He
must have sent this 500 check the day
[ wrote it. He-Yes, | mailed it; he's
got it by this time. She-That's you!
Whenever 1 give you a letter to mail
that'll get me in trouble. you go right
off and mail Indianapolis Journal
Mrs. Ats really extraordinary
My nurse tells me that gentlemen are
always stopping her in the street to ad-
nire my little girl. Mrs. BLOW love
" she must be! Mrs. A.-Oh, don't
know. OF course l think her pretty,
because 1 am her mother. Mrs. B.
Oh, meant the nurse. dear.-Punch.
The Farmer-Why don't you work.
The Tramp-D' yer tink everybody In
lie world is crazy? l never worked in
me life, but don't owe anyone cent,
while l s'pose you've bin workin' since
yer was able ter drive a cow; an I'll
bet dey's mortgage on yer farm dat
keeps yer hustlin' ter pay de int'rest
hnEPuck.
A benefactor: James" whispered
the good woman, there's a burglar In
the parlor. He stumbled against the
piano In the dark. / heard several of
the keys struck" "An rightw said