Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1900-04-25
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@NQDENTS !

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very tart reply to Mrs. ]. Coleman
Drayton, whose name was much in the
public mouth a few years ago, at the
new years german. He had been pratt
Ting to the lady for some time. when
anxious to get rid of him, she snapped
out: Now. trot along. Mr.. Lehr; you
are entirely too lady-like for me-"
Whereupon Mr.. Lehr replied: Il am
sorry can't say the same for you, Mrs
Drayton."
A Russian once told Archbishop Ben.
son that he saw In a police court in
Russia a priest brought in, in undress
of purple. and the court, magistrates.
and all, knelt and a police serge ant
kissed his hand. Then, rising, the mag
istrate said: You nasty, drunken bea
SO you were drunk again yesterday. I'll
make you remember 1t this time" The
priest was led out to an adjoining yard
his clothes torn OF, and fifty lashes
given him; when he was brought back
half f-fainting, all knelt down and re-
ceived his blessing
G. r. Glenn. superintendent Of publ.c
instruction of the State of Georgia, one
day explained the powers Of the X-ray
machine to a gathering Of darkies at
school commencement. After the
meeting was over a negro called him
aside and wanted to know il he was In
earnest about the machine. Mr.. Glenn
assured him that he was. "Boss,
wants ter ak you eff er niger ct chick
en- kin you look in him an see chick
en?' "Why, yes, Ephraim," said MIR.
Glenn. "Well. boss, l wants ter Ak you
one mo- question. Kin you look in dat
nigger an tell whar dat chicken com .s
from?"
Lady Randolph Churchill has inher-
tied the wit Of her father. "Uncle
Larry" Jerome, as she demonstrated
upon one occasion to an eminent Brit
ish politician. He was somewhat an
noyed at the campaign she had made.
and said: 81 really don't understand,
madam. why or how 1t is that Ameri-
can ladies refuse to enter political life
in their own country. but overwhelm
rs here In England" THAT 10 because
you have never Travelled in the States.
The men there are 20 intelligent and
patriotic that they do not require the
services Of our sex IS An educating
force"
John Clerk, afterward known a. Lord
Eldin. was limping down the High
street Of Edinburgh one day. when he
heard q young lady remark to her COM
panion. THAT IL the famous John
Clerk, the lame lawyer" He turned
round and said, with his mot unwonted
coarseness," "You lie, ma'am! I am q
Lord Justice Braxneld. too, appears to
have failed in courtesy to the fair sex;
for, when told that q brother judge
would not sit that day, on account Of
having just lost his wife, he, who was
lifted with a Xantippe. replied. HAS
he? That is a guide excuse, indeed;
wish we had a the same"
When William Jennings Bryan first
went to Nebraska he was hired to take
the stump against Thayer, who was
running for Governor, and said some
hard things against the candidate.
"Thayer was elected" Bryan is quoted
as saying In the Chicago Times-Herald.
after he took the Governors chair he
was called to be toast-master at ban
quet at which l was set down for a
speech. I did not care to go to that
banquet did not wish to meet the
Governor. I remembered all that had
said Of him. and I felt cheap. But
went and sat there through the early
proceedings quite uncomfortable. Final
ly 1t came time for the Governor to call
upon me. He rose from his seat, with
the program before him, and slowly
said: Mr.. Bryan-Bryan.' Then he
slowly turned his eyes upon me and ad-
dressed me: DO you speak or singr
That is all ever heard from Governor
Thayer as to what he thought of my
campaign speeches against him."