Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1900-09-06
SrARBEAMS.


A financier is a man who can get a
loan from a bank without collateral.
Seneca: A brave spirit struggling
with adversely is a spectacle for the
gods.
1t is always better to make friends
of your creditors than creditors of your
friends.
Goethe Assure yourself you have
accomplished no small feat if only you
have learned patience.
The savage autocracy of Empress An
of China tends to confirm the report
that she was once a servant girl.
The quarrel started over pronounce
ing the name of Ii Hung Chang. Its
not Lee!" It's Lee!" "Lde!" Then
they got at it.
Sala Ben Mohammed, who says he's
the son of the sultan of Morocco,
whipped a hotel clerk at Springfield,
Mass. for calling him negro with
two g's.
The dowager empress full name is
Tzchi Toanyu Kangi Chaoyu Chuang-
cheng Shokung Chinhien Chungsth.
Yes, you're right; that's the way to
pronounce it.
No, Percy, prize fighting is not pop
ular below the equator. In fact, they
don't have prize fights there at ALL for
you know it it against the rules to hit
below the belt
after few swallows we had a lark
and a bird of a time" said Tanques.
Yes" retorted Beyrl Ause, is that
anything to crow over? What you
raven, about, anyhow"
Horace Mann: Generosity during
life is a very different thing from gen
crosby in the hour Of death; one pro-
ceeds from genuine liheralty and Oe-
nevolenCe, the other from pride or fear,
A leading physician of Kansas City
who was going on a fishing trip
thought of taking his negro servant
along. Sam, do you know anything
about aquatics?" he asked. Have you
ever rowed?" "Only on the kyahs,
sab"
In persuading their pastor to take a
vacation, the committee of a Kansas
City church wrote we all need a rest,
if only for a short time" Maybe they
did, but they might have broken the
news more gently to the minister.
1t was the little city boys first day
in the country. They turned him loose;
after time they found him playing
in the house. why don't you play
outsider" asked his mother Cause"
he said, "outside's so big it scares me-"
The latest hard luck story comes
from a man in Paterson, N. j., suing
for divorce. He thought he had won Il
a boarding house. Now he says she
discharged the negro servant and he
took the place. He had to arise at 4
and build fires for the regular board
crs and then do the "heayy work and
clean up the kitchen" He always ate
alone and at the second table. As the
man who had his toe bitten VILE in
bathing remarked: Il don't believe
that lobster has a very soft snap"
In China one chophouse has the sign,
"Shing un"-"EXuberant Grove" A
gamblers sign, Tin Gut Suen," is
translated into Tower of Heaven-Sent
Luck" A tobaccOnists shop went by
the name Of Man 30 Tsun"-"Ten
Thousand Joys Complete" A man who
sold soup had for his sign, Name man
shin "Elegand Accomplishment.
"Neun Duck" is the name of a firm that
sells miscellaneous decorative wares;
translated reads; Fountain of Vir-
tue Sing Fat is another, and
translated it reads, Fountain From
Which Riches Come Forth" ss'
The census enumerator at Laramie,
Wyo.. also runs newspaper, in which
he says; Tomorrow we will send to
Cheyenne for rebilling to Washington.
the census enumeration for district No.
Z We have all along in our mind
promised to pray to the good Lord on
the day He would take the job off our
hands and, ever alert to our promises,
we herewith comply; oh, Lord
thank Thee for the delivery from this
kind of a government job. I know
have all along prayed to Thee for a
Slice of the pap that is distributed from
the capitol Of the nation, but I did not
know that our dear government does,
perchance, paint sweet coating about
a bitter pill Forgive your poor, mis-
cradle sinner, Oh Lord. for ever ac-
cepting a job Of which he knew moth
ing, and let lightning not strike twice
in the same place. With the next job
from that place, Oh Lord give US our
daily bread at least and forgive US our
sins as we forgive those who led us
into temptation. Amen, Amen, Amen.