Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1900-01-11
VILLAGE IMPROVEMENT.
rssA Friend of the Ladies" Takes
Rambler 20 Task.
And loosely Cites a Thrilling Incident of
How a Man in the Post Office Was
Estopped From ExpectOrating
On the Floor.
DEAR MISTER ROBINSON: I

lantry of the rambling pen of the
Rambler in your columns. At
times, he, if Rambler he a be, IS
almost unknightly, or, if Rambler
be a she, singularly unslsterly, to
the ancient matrons, IN antique
frocks and sober honnets, and,
the sprightIy and nimble maidens,
in clinging gowns, and hats, with
amplitudinous brims below tur-
key-wing feathers, who all blend
in that beautiful equalization
The Village Improvement Club.
We have social clubs, with male
membership, all over the land,
where lemon juice is squeezed into
three parts of whiskey, two of
water and one of sugar. Why
should it be a matter for cynical
observation by Rambler, or auy
one else, if the Village Improve
ment Club request that a garbage
box, painted in Trilby figures,
overcast with dreamy conceits of
Moss roses, should stand in front
of the club house of the male
club as a receptacle and hiding
place for the discarded lemon peel
ing. which, otherwise, carelessly
thrown from the window to the
sidewalk, would remain SO ex-
posed as to annoylngly remind
thirsty pedes TRANS that drinks
had been served and that they
were not present.
| prefer my thanks to the ma
irons and the coy maldens of the
Village Improvement Club that
they have had such forethought,
in the inter est of that common
fraternity, that should prevail
among men, as to suggest provis-
ion for co~ncealiDg toe unvitaI rlnd
of the lemon, and thus sequester
the painful evidence of the invid-
iousness that is being daily made
between the man on the inside and
the poor, thirsty plodder or the
outside of the male club.
[ cheerfully endorse the anti-
splitting clause IN the By Laws OF
the Village Improvement Club. 1t
is we'll known that no member of
the club is, herself, permitted to
spit. Inasmuch, should any public
and miscellaneous splitter object to
the prohibition against private OF
official splitting, he has no jusI
cause for complaint, since the
Club itself, tne authority that i'm
poses the prohibition on this com.
mupity, is, under the penalty O
its By Laws, compelled to swal,
low its own moath-sap.
A few days ago, in Judge Fair
cloths post office, (kept by Mr.
Frank Dobsou,) a professions
splitter, who had sneeringly reao
the law against splitting, posted by
an elderly matron of the Club, OF
the inside walls of the Office, boil
as a legal warning and a mura
adornment, was just pickering hi
mouth to spit, when a distinguish
ed maiden of the Village Clul
suddenly entered, under the pre-
text of buying a postal card, bu
really as an official spy of tn
Club. The keen eye of the spy
woman, noting the twitching AM
corresponding contracting of til
lips of the professional splitter
and her agile apprehension realiz
ing that the whole puckerin'
scheme was preliminary to del
uging the floor and adiacen
wainscoting with tobacco spittle
she, at once, with the spryness 0
a tigress, sprang toward the in
artistic person, and, with Devil
dering celebrity, shot a look of in
dignation into his face. He wa