The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-22
ALL SHORT OF WIND.


Look here, pap" said Squar
Johnson as he dropped into the post
Office one day when I was alone I've
got a scheme on hand that II do more
to boost the town of Jericho to the
top of the ladder than 40 miles of
new sidewalk. Yes, sir, it's boomer,
and if it's carried out you'll see the
price of real estate jump so per cent.
He waited fur me to git my breath
and then lowered his voice and con-
tinued:
"Pap, I've notice written out
fur all patriotic citizens of Jericho to
assemble at the postofice this evenin,
and I'll post her up on the door. l
want to spring it on 'em all Of sud-
den. 1 want to see 'em turn pale
and their hair stand up. Just say
to all inquirers, pap, that Jericho is
comm right to the front like a steer
goin fur corn field"
/ wanted to know what the scheme
was, but the squar winked and nod
ded and looked mysterious and went
off without giving his secret away.
There was a great deal of curiosity
durin the day. Some thought the
squar had balloon ascension in view
in order to attract public attention to
our new cooper shop, and others had
it that he had found way to dodge
the state tax, but it was all guess
work. There was a tremendous
crowd on hand when evenin came,
and the squar went around rubbin his
hands together and smilin all over
his face When he had got the
.>.-s>szA5 -4s<..-fya al ..A, the pitch where
everybody wanted to die fur liberty,
he called the meetin to order and
said:
"Feller freemen of Jericho, we hev
here a beautiful town, salubrious
climate and a populashun to be proud
of. We hev the best of water, the
lowest of taxes and skassly any use
fur doctors. We hev the telephone
electric doorbells and a town pump.
A stranger would look around him
and say we needed nuthing else.
But we do, and that is why hev
called you together here tonight. We
need jest one thing more to put Jer-
icho on the pinacle, and that is a
brass band"
"By John, but he's made pint !"
said Deacon Spooner as he whacked
Oh the counter with his cane. tYes,
sir, Jericho needs a brass band to
boost her, and I'm with the squar.
Let us hear what Moses Hopkins has
to say about it."
"As / take it." said Moses, "a
brass band plays tunes, and I'll like
to know in advance what sort of tunes
this band is goin to play. If it's 60
in to play The Sweet By and By, ;
then I'm in fur a band. If it's goin
to play hi-diddle-diddle tunes, then
I'm agin it."
"That's pint as fur as it goes" I"
said the deacon, ''but it don't go fur
'nuff. Enos Williams, you was in the
hog buyin' bizness fur twenty years,
and you ought to know about brass
bands. What d'you think of the
idea?"
'.That depends" said Enos. 81
don't go much on a brass band that
toots its wind all over town and
wastes it on the air. If we had a
band that would come down to the
depot to meet me as l come in from
Tarrytown, then think I'd kind of
like it."
"By John, but he's right, and he's
made pint p shouted the deacon.
81 don't see the pint, !" said Squar
Johnson as he colored up "Why
should our brass band go down to the
depot to welcome man who hain't
never done anything in particular fur
Jericho Enos is a good 'nuff man
in his way, bnt did the outside world
ever hear of him? Was he consult
ed about buildin the new sewer or
paintin the town hall? Has he ever
laid awake nights thinkin how this
town could be boosted to the topl"
"Enos, he's knocked your pint
out and made one ag'in you," said
the deacon, "but we'll hear from
some of the rest. How is it with
you, Jabez Fowler!"
II can't exactly say till I know
what the band is goin to do, replied
Jabez. my old woman is mighty
fond of brass band tunes which lift uI
the heels, and if the bandit come
over to my house three times week
an give us sunthin lively I'll chip in. y
!, "Mebbe I'm mistaken in this
crowd" said the squar as he looked
around in serious way. "Mebbe
this is crowd composed of freeborr
Americans whose forefathers fought
at Bunker Hill, and mebbe it's made
up of men who'd steal the statue o
Liberty and sell it fur old junk. Tc
say that am astonished does not hall
express my feelin's."
"That sellin the atatue of Liberty
is a pint, and strong one, sale
the deacon, ''but what we want is {
free expreshun of opinion. Jubt
Hornbecker looks as if he wanted tt
say sunthin."
t'I'd like to ask the squar," sale