The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1900-12-13
All :'1pkE;iR5:

makes yon come SO early OF lhles AV0
used to be behind before. Life.
May-"A1gy and Pamela had fall
ing out last night" Clarence-"What
was the cause?9 Maya hammock
Harlem Life.
Pretty big: "Blowhard has a big
opinion of himself" "How bigT
well, he's beginning to imagine he's
annoyed by camera fends. Puck.
Mother lat the door)-If you children
are not quiet in five minutes you will.
have to 90 to bed. Small Voice after a
pause)-What time is it now?-Judge.
did he gain anything by his visit to
the Paris Exposition" Yes. he says
he gained better appreciation of the
Chicago Worlds Fair."-Chicago Post.
Slster-in-law-"How like his father
the baby ISL Mother-"He's certainly
like him in some ways. He generally
keeps me up half the nlght"-Punch.
Nlmrod-"Pat, did you ever catch
frogs?" Pat-"Faith, an OF did, sir"
Nimrod-"What did you bait wlthY
Pat-"Begorry, Oh bate 'em with a
shtick. Chicago News.
OF His Mind: Didn't you feel dread
fully when you lost your gold-headed
nmbrellap NO; I'd expected to lose it
for so long that was glad when it was
gone. "-Chicago Record.
''Your Uncle Toms Cabin seems like
braud-new play" "0f course; we've
liked 1t up so Eliza crosses the ice on
an automobile, chased by lot of Box
ers."-Detroit Free Press.
Provision for the future: Mrs. Bon
aey-"Slx motherless children, you say?
And can't you find work." Tramp
"Oh, they're not old enough for that
yet, ma'am. "-Brooklyn Life.
Did it with a slam: Il am willing to
do anything" said the applicant for
work. "All right" said the hard-heart-
ed merchant; please close the door be-
hind you when you go out."-Somer-
vile Journal.
Might Have Been Worse: TOO bad,
old man, about your wife running
away. "oh, it might have been worse.
wonder that she did not take me
along to look after her trunks. In
Annapolis Press
He helped him out: "And your step
father told You TO get out into the
world and earn your own living? He
ahouIl how ,rfvan va, a halpfug hand -
HE gave me n helping foot."-Cleye-
land Plain Dealer.
In Memoriam: 81 presume you carry
q memento of some kind in that locket
Of yours?" Precisely; it is a lock Of
my husbands hair" But your hus-
band is still alive" Eyes; but his hair
is all one."-Tit-Bits
Safe: Mrs. Won Blumer-"Dear, dear,
dropped my diamond ring off my fin
ger this morning, and cannot find 1t
anywhere" Won Blumer-"Its all
right; came across 1t in one of my
trousers pockets. Bazaar.
Vocal Possibilities: DO you think,
professor" said a musically ambitious
youth, that l can ever do anything
with my yoiceY "Well," was the eau
tious reply, sit may come in handy to
boiler with in case of fire. Answers.
Are you old enough to voter asked
The tourist in North Carolina. 81 dunno
.rzackly what my age is, boss" replied
The colored man; but kin tell you dis:
allus was old enough to know better
Ian to try to vote. "-Washington Star.
A Peaceful Exit: Ibid you have any
words with your mistress which caused
you to leave your last place." "Niver
4 word. Sure, an OF locked her in the
bathroom, and TUX all me things, and
shipped out as quiet as yez plase."-
Bazaar.
College Student-How did you come
to lose the game? Captain Varsity
Nine-Why, their pitcher and catcher
had set of signals that we couldn't
possibly understand or get on to; they
kept calling out to each other in Latin,
you know!
Its shape: 'What is the shape of a
ship going to pieces on stern and rock
bound coast?" asked Gaswell of Du-
kane. Every bad shape, l should say;
what shape would you call iti' "A
wrecktangle." - Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
you told me to come and begin work
to-day" said the new boy. "0h, yes"
replied the druggist, you may begin
by catching flies and putting them on
those sheets of Sure Catch Fly-Pape'
we're displaying in the window. =
Philadelphia Press.
"Why do they have those glass CAGES
with the AK, hammer. crowDar, etc. in
On these cars" asked a traveller on the
railroad going TO New York. "oh
those are put there to use in case any
pne wants window open," replied the
racetious manufacturers Statesman.
Artless Thing: Charming Maidel-
Then they went to Woozey's. did they:
All. that's delightful place. WheE 3
friend asks me to go to Woozey's
know he must think an awful lot of rae
for they serve the most elaborate and
expensive luncheons In the city. Help
less Youth-Let's go to Woozeys, Miss
ouickstep.-Chicago Tribune.
Father (meaningly)-Who Is the It'll
EST boy in your class. Tommy? Tommy
Il don't know, pa. Father SHOULD
think you would know. When all the
others are industriously studying OF
writing their lessons. who is 1t sits idly
in his seat and watches the rest, Instead
.i-inor himaaIf2 TommY--I a