The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-03-25
A BACHELOR GIRL OF 1900.
Her Name Ought to BE Victory Ammo
DOmfni.


''1f you want a name for the bachelor
girl said the woman who knew. Il adj
wise you to call her Victory Ammo Dom:
mi. She is typical of the age, and is 60
ing to do as she pleases no matter how she
! does it or what it is. She may want broiled
ham for her breakfast She has the ham
and the fire Skewer. toasting fork, broiling
rack are all consplcuously absent Does she
therefore go without her tit-bit? You know
not letter in her book if you think so.
The uses of a hairpin have long been eX-
allied by mere men. To the bairpin she has
added hatpin. Upon the tip of her long
est, strongest, most priced in windy weather
she cooks her meat as deity as a statesman
cooks a tariff bill.
"She is as inconsiderate of the self-re-
speeding burglar as her age is of folk who
take themselves too seriously. When the
burglar comes in at dead of night she does
not sit up and howl, any more than the
world howls at the arrival of mighty re-
formers She sits up all right. but it is
merely TO tell the knight of the jimmy that
he has made a mistake in his vocation or
his latchkey, and, either way is guilty Of
very bad taste. Sometimes she makes di-
rect attack more commonly flank move
Intul ny tdlhiiB 10 HtT cat. ne DuFSidi,
poor man. seldom gets nearer than the en-
try. bachelor girl apartment is bound to
have an entry. The profe ssional enterer has
no trouble at all with the lock. 1t is when
he gets inside that he loses himself and
his courage in the multifarious tangle of
hangings and bamboo poles and swinging
tinkly things. Terror turks in the unknown
not infrequently he flies in fear lest his
dark lantern touch off some Internal ma
chine masquerading as an ornament.
"Macaulay said the Puritans objected
to bear batting, not because it hurt the
bears, but because 1t pleased the people.
When the bachelor girl smokes. it is not
because she cares for tobacco. but because
smoking displeases some people whom she
likes to astound. She does not mean, of
course TO do anything wrong or unlady
like-she only feels that she must live up
to her liberty-which those people would
restrict, il they could. You see, at bottom,
the bachelor girl is the most feminine
thing in the world.
"A chafing-dis supper is a sort of Med
der River to Victory Ammo Domini. since
it is there she achieves the most notable
triumph of ways over means.
"A chatting dish. you know. is a fetch
which rewards only the yotaries who give
it single minded devotion. The bachelor
girl is too facile TO be single minded. What
with lectures, art. literature. keeping up
with the play houses. thinking out her
frocks, and sympathizing with budding
genius is it any wonder she forgets some
times that Newburg lobster requires a dash
Of sherry, or that a Welsh rarebit cannot
make up with beer for a lack of cayenne.
But what of it? When chafing-dish vic
tins takes their lives in their hands, she
smiles at them, fully persuaded that moth
ing really matters so long as her appear
ance is unconventional enough to be dis
tinctly artistic. l do not say she is wrong
The longer / live the more reason l see in
the Berkeleyan contention that there are
no things, only the names of things. The
bachelor girl is a sort of unconscious hyp-
notist. whose power is rooted in her vic
torious faith in herself"