The age-herald., 1900-10-12
SKETCHES FROM
 EVERYDAY LIFE

gressman is a fair, smiling infant, and the Senator a cynic of eighteen months-an ugly brat, ready to yelp. That Congress- men often do the baby act is true, and it is also true that some of them have the baby face. A lady was recently introduced to Senator Beveridge. What" she exclam- ed, "are you a Senator? Why you look like beardess youth" Madam" replied the Senator, '' that is not remarkable, shave" But to speak of our Senators as ugly brats, ready to yelp," is truly dread full. The United States Senate is not beauty show a baby show. And 70 speak of their eloquent orations and flow ing sentences as yelping is a woeful lack of respect for that august body-I mean a woeful lack of respect for money, for that is what the Senate is composed of now-a- days. Money talks but never yelps. Only dogs yelp and Senators are not dogs You can pat them on the back but they resent being rubbed on the head.
 q was as soft and tender as you once," said the ossifed man regretfuIly.
 What hardened you?" asked his sympa- thetic young friend.
 T think it was listening to the conversa- ton in ballet girls dressing room," was the sad Seply.-Town Topics
 Can anything good come out of Besse- mer? one iS tempted to ask after seeing the dummy and cars that do come out of that smoky town. One of the dummies on thls line is comparatively new, the other is in- comparably old. If the smoke of every fur mace in the Birmingham district was con- densed on this dummy it could not be made any blacker. It looks like ''nigger'' dum- my. The cars, too, are valuable as relics They should be preserved and sent to expo- sitions to be placed by the side of a Pull man, and labled before and after"
 The company operating this line is not to blame for these Noah's arks. They did not build them, but found them, when the line came into their possession. This line 1t is said does not pay, but the present company is making efforts to substitute trolley cars for the job lot of equipment now in use.
 There is a greater variety of street cars in Birmingham than any city in the south. They seem to have been bought at various times from different makers. You rarely see two of a kind They are as different as two peas Did you ever see two peas alike?
  a kind, stop drinking and go and consult occulist.
 You get your moneys worth, however, on the Birmingham cars You can ride for miles and miles, going sometimes as fast as passenger train, and all for the sum of five cents-the price of a beer or the cost of a church collection. In summer the only way open to people in the south to get cooled off Is ride on the trolley car. This is cheaper than mountain breeze and just as cool.
 Some one was asking the other day why a girl riding on an open car preferred to ride backwards.
 Can any enc give correct answer?
 
 A farmers wife was recently buried but it was arranged to preach the funeral ser mon at a later date When the day came the sermon was preached, and as the con- gregation was about to disperse the farm CT walked up to the altar railing where he was joined by a young woman. The preacher then, having read the burial for the dead, proceeded to read the burial for the living, and they were made man and wife This is a nice custom for the min isters, for they always get fee at mar rage ana never at d iuilSld di' AhSy ehuS can kill two women with one stone.
 A new song may possibly be on the road. The Chicago Opera House was packed Mon- day night to witness the debut of Miss May de Sousa, who was to sing a new song of Alderman Coughlin, popularly known as Bath House John. All the city officials were present, the council having adjourned in his honor and to listen to his song, called .Dear Midnight of Love-" Some of the First Ward Democratic Club sang in the chorus. The chorus Is as follows:
 Dear midnight of love, tumpity, tumpity. tum; dear midnight of love, tumplty, tum- pity t-u-u-m"
 In describing the song the Chicago Times Herald says:
 'It didn't seem to matter a bit that 'revels" was pronounced to rhyme with ''dwells," and that the song recommended flowing only as doves" Just who Dear Midnight" is was not revealed The chorus said, Your face is so sweet" and the poet plaintively walled, Why did we meet?' and tho band played.
 Then there were cries for the author, and the Alderman stepped bashfully on the stage. He was cheered. and he blushed. His
  CT things he said:
 "Gentlemen, Friends and Lades-I cer- tainy appreciate this ovation. It Is an am- bition any young American ought to be proud of thank you from the bottom of my heart It is with great appreciate-my colleagues here who have came to honor me can tell"
 The Alderman was nervous, like all young authors, but he went on bravely.
 "On behalf also-the kindly thanks have tIoA ha to n his bashfulness and confusion)-"On behalf of Miss De Sousa, thaink you very kindly again and I appreciate"
 The words, however, have little to do with the song. If the music is good. we will all soon be singing, Dear Midnight of Love-"
 In connection with singing and singers it is said that Milward Adams, the manager of the Chicago Auditorium and his charm ing protege, Fanchon Thompson, have ami caby adjusted their theatrical differences and that Miss Thompson will sing this sea- son at the Metropolitan Opera House in Nrau, Vorlr Mir Adar,S admits that the req