Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1900-04-21
{Communicated).
Man as Monopoiize- of Great
Privilege.

question:. w nat. SOllcll Senllclnen 10
marry them2 Certainly. Why not?
Have not ladies prefeences which they
have u natural right TO Indicate as we'll
as Gentlemen? Is there any good rca-
son why ladies should not have the
privilege to choose. as we'll as refuse?
Strange how firmly rooted false notions
become by education. Custom is pow
erful law-makcr. but not always Il just
one. He Is particularly .dcspotic In his
conduct TO ladies and winks at many
improprieties committed by gentlemen.
! He opens TO man Il wide field for in
dustry and tho accumulation OF wealth;
TO woman he gives seven by nine
room In which she may labor in perjury
until she can obtain absolution by mar
ria5c. And then, TO crown all. IL she
wishes to marry the old tyrant COM
mands her to walt and accept or refuse
such offers as may be made. while to
man he gives the exclusive prerogative
tween her suiiorS. If she have more
than one: but 1t Is often synonymous
with "a choice between two evils,
while man may select from n hundred
or a thousand. Women, In justice to
themselves and their female posterity.
should rebel against this despotism as
did our revolutionary fathers against
British tyranny In colonial times. En-
perorS and Kings do not monopolize
desrotiSnl. Custom. though not him
self n dcspot. is often despotc. and
women are the most patient and un
complaining victims of tyranny. How
many women" says Or. Davis "have
wished themselves men?" because SIM
ply that a ridiculous custom deprivcs
women OF social freedom. What Won
dcT that some strong women-na lures
have burst the bonds and steeed their
hearts gainSt the shafts of ridicule and
derlsion? How low must be the social
cf fnI, .t.ti1 In ct 1ial Inc
OF woman? She has TO liberties to first
manifest her preference TO some kim
dIed spirit OF the opposite gender. No,
in1ced If woman should visit a
man first and inform him Of her love
/; toward him, the whole community
would al once conclude that such n one
is no better than she should be. Rob-
cN Southey. the poet. who, perhaps.
would have laughed n t the proposition
OF giving ladies' the right tn ask the
hand of gentlemen in marriage. once
said that the risks Of marriage arc far
geatcr on the woman's side" 'Wo-
men," he added. have so little the
power of choice that it is not. perhaps.
fair to say they are less likely 20 chonsc
well than we are" He further said:
II know of nothing which IL good and
sensible man is so certain to find (if he
looks for iD as a good Wife | am
equally certain that there Is nothing
which n good and sensible woman
would so certainly find, If she was al
lowed to look for it. as n good hus-
band. ! deny that their opinions con-
corning men are less accurate than
mems opinions OF Their SEX" as has
been asserted Neither sex deserves
greater credit for judging of human
character. especially before marriage:
but women, as rule. are gifted with
keencr perception than gentlemen. The
female sex would not get cheated Oft
ener In marriage than the male sex, if
the former enjoyed the same prer0ga-
tive to choose that the man arrogates
to himself.
Manage as they may" says Nichols.
girls must wait for offers. and be the
.achoice generally of a very narrow cir
'Sclc-and there is always A. great temp
tation to accept the first-for fear OF
never having another" While this fact
must universally be admitted, there is
not n single good reason which can be
urged against giving to ladies the right
to manifest their preference; but many
may be adduced in favor of allowing
them the valuable privilege. 1t fire.
qnently happens that an aristocratic
lady's true counterpart is among the
ranks of the humble. and while he
would not dare TO approach her with
a proposition of marriage. she must
not no matter how strong her affection
for him. because custom forbids such q
breach OF propricty
Many instances OF this kind have
come to my knowledge. A man in cir
cumStanccs OF afilucncc feels no delica-
.cy in proposing to n woman in
humble life: but IL their circum-
stances are revesed. he fears his aspl-
rations may be treated with scorn if he
assays to offer her his hand in mar
.fiage. fIe thinks himself the recipient
of great favor If she treats him with
nnttanncS and attention
think her conduct toward him Is ac-
tuaied by Il desire that he should pro-
pose marriage. So bold step on his
part might forfeit even her friendship.
and he chooses rather TO remain sure
in the possession of this than to en-
counter Standardization and her dis
pleasure. possibly. by soliciting her
love. She perceives his difiidence. and
wishes she might for one moment.
avail herself OF his prerogativc. But
she hesitates. She. too. may mistake
his sentiments, and II SO. and she
Should propose. what would the neigh
bors say? How people would laugh.
Mon tbs roll on. and she: failing to make
him understand her real sentiments, be-
slows her hand OH some worthless fop
who has more money than brains. and
who has the bravery to offer himself
because he hourishes in the same circle
OF society that she does. She accepts
becau she may hot nave nctter or
fer. and perhaps because he has sis
Ter she loves. even If she does not love
him: and therefore she considers the
family connection happy one. This Is
no fancy picture. Every observer knows
that instances of this kind are of fire.
qucnt occurrence.
1t Is all wrong that the gentlemen
have world full OF fair ones to select
from. while ladies can only choose be-
fween two three or half a dozen Stnpid
admirers who may offer themselves
There is no reason that 1t should be SO,