The St. Johns herald., 1900-10-20

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 And to think that this document should be indorsed with
 'The plaintiffs claim is for damages for breach of promise of marriage"
 'Imp1dence!" shrieked the writted one. There can be no evidence"
 There he was doomed to be mistaken. The trial came on, and the court was packed with those good natured friends who find the keenest delight in the miseries of Jonathan and Pythias.
 The evidence given by the plaintiff and three young typewriters was of the most. startling character.
 Three bonny, bright eyed city sylphs had each the self-same tale to coo forth.
 If we quote Jane Robinson we quote the other two.
 Jane Robinson (called)-Our tele- phone is in direct connection with Shocks & Bellby's, where Miss John son is employed. l also know Mir. Ster- rimer's voice as coming through the telephone quite well. On the 3Oth of August, at the request of Miss John son, stood by our telephone at 3:3O D. m. precisely. l can recognize the de- fendant's voice through our telephone quite distinctly. I heard him say: "Dear Rose, love you for your beauty and virtue. Be my wife, darling; l should glory in your love, and glory to make it known to all the world"
 Further examined, the witness con- tfnued: 'I took it down in shorthand. We have also Ibersen's new phone ln our office, and the words were trans mitted into it direct from the telephone. No, there could be no mistake what ever as to its being MT. Sterrimer's voice. Yes, Miss Johnson did tell me what she has already stated in her evi- dence, that she concealed the end ot her receiver in a bouquet of roses, and that MT. Sterrimer had spoken into 1t that she had meant him to do so, as he was always making proposals of marriage when no witnesses were by"
 When the last of the three typewrft- inp witnesses had finished Phineas Buz< fuz, o. C., opened large wooden case.
 "This," said that learned counsel for. the plaintiff, lis one of the famous phonos, with all the latest improve ments of the great American inventor, Ibersen. With your lordship's permis- sion, and to make use of somewhat vulgar phrase, I shall now proceed to turn on the tap"
 The court listened in breathless ex- pectation. Out came the undoubted tones of MT. Sterrimer, uttered in mys- terious falsetto-forte whispers:
 "Dear Rose, love you for your beau ty-"
 The rest was almost drowned in laughter, in which the learned judge himself took part.
 The laughter had only for few sec onds subsided when MT. Buzfuz treat ed the court to yet another surprise. A large frame, six feet by two, draped iR' linen, was held up in front of the jury by the plaintiffs solicitors "out- door common law" The covering was raised. Horror for the defendant! Yes, naught else but a most splendid Cherony's photo enlargement of the defendant clasping the plaintiff to his bosom.
 My lord," said the learned counsel, "this is the age of science. By the aid of kodak concealed in a cigar case on the mantel shelf, provided with a heightened tube, of which the pneu- matic ball was placed on the floor be- meath sheet of newspaper and touched by the fairy foot of my fascinating client, the condition of the defendants feelings and treatment of the lady are here clearly depicted. Allow me to state that it was only out of regard for the shrinking modesty of this ill-treat- ed young lady that this evidence was not produced by mutoscope."
 When order had been restored the ex- cellent Buzfuz, O. C., was to be seen in affable consultation with the opposing counsel.
 "Your lordship," said he, "may we request an adjournment with view to possibly amicable settlement?"
 ''It would certainly be in the interest of both parties" said his lordship, smil- ing sweetly.
 That little settlement cost Mir. Ster- Timer the small sum of s 500 sterling, exclusive of costs. Still, fate showed some little kindness to him. He hap pened to hold 5000 worth of shares in the Ibersen's Monograph, Limited. The advertisement caused by the dis play in open court was so good that the shares went up like Mir. Brooks Thurs day night rockets. So he lost nothing in particular after all.
 As to Miss Rose Johnson? She in- vested her 500 in running a private money lending show for the benefit, or the contrary, of smart typewriters.- Chicago Times-Herald.