The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-08-05
'TWASN'T MARK TWAIN
Audience Took Temperance Ia..
For Famous Humoris+

CNin NJ Clemens in Af0s1.o.-
Mark Twain is a good tallar a.,
variabIy prepares himself rbo,-l, NJ
skillfuIIy hides his prepararioD ne
method of delivery, which dero+ae ms
he is getting his ideas and phrases ,- o
he proceeds. He is an accomnr,~, ~
artist in this way. His peculiar -
of expression always seems coDroo..
with an audience, and a Iau5b -,
follow the most sober rpnl9rl, T.
singular fact that an audience - - d
IN laughing mood. when rhar g
enter the lecture room, they are -
TO burst out at anything ami 80
thing. In the town Of Colchester 90
there was a good illustration of -
the Hon. Demsham Hornet ha[-i--S,
most unpleasant experience. at 49,
pense ot Mark Twain. Mr. Crs-.-A
was advertised to lecture in The tow,
Colchester, but for some reason, 80
TO arrive In the emergency -ls
ture committee decided to enrr.,- NJ
Hornet to deliver his celebrated -
on temperance, bur So late in the 5a,.
was this arrangement made thar -
bills announcing il could be circure-a5
and the audience assembled. expeetfrr.
~ AAGOA -hlCAl n / u dill y % one
town knew Mr.. Clemens. or had 80
heard him lecture, and they enrerraFrel
the idea that he was sunny. and w.
TO the lecture prepared 10 laugh. Frsr
those upon the platform. excepting III
chairman, did not know Mr.. Ho~na-
from Mark Twain. and so. when haxyas
introduced. thought nothing of Tho
name, as they knew Mark Twain was
a pen name, and supposed his mi
name WIS Hornet
Mr.. Hornet bowed politely. Io0La5
about him and remarked IntlmpA~-
anCe is the curse Of the country Tn
audience burst into a merry laugh h
/ knew it could not be at his remark. and
[ thought his clothes must be aWrv and
he asked the chairman, in a whisper. +
he was all right. and received YES for
an answer. Then he said. Rum sIavs
more than disease Another, but louder
/ laugh followed. He could not under
stand it, but proceeded: It breaks up
! happy homes Still louder mirtH IF
is carrying young men down TO death
and helli Then came a perfect roar
of applause. Mr. Hornet began 10 get
excited He thought they were pOking
fun at him. but went on. We must
/ crush the serpent A tremendous howl
of laughter. The men on the platform
except the chairman, squirmed a they
1 laughed. Then Hornet got mad What
l say is gospel truth he cried. The
audience fairly beloved with mirrh.
Hornet turned to a man on the stage
and said: Do you see anything very III
diculous in my remarks or behavior
Yes, ha, ha. It's intensely funny-ha.
/ ha, hai Go on replied the roaring man
This is an insult cried Hornet. wildly
! dancing about More laughter. and cries
/ OF Go on. Twain Then the chairman
/ began TO see through a glass darby.
and arose and QuelIed the merrimen-
and explained the situation. and The
men on the stage suddenly ceased
/ laughing. and the folks in The audience
looked sheepish. and they Quit laugh.
! ing, too, and then the excited Nj. E0-.
net, being thoroughly mad. told then
/ he had never before GOT into a town
SO entirely populated with asses and
/ idiots. and having said that he left th.
hall in disgust. followed by the aud
fence in deep gloom"