The Pacific commercial advertiser., 1900-12-19

can hear him as well as tn others
Vice Is tn on'y thing talked iv at tn
church socyables an tn mothers meet
ms; 'tis raysolved be tn Insomnya |
club that now's tn time to make |
hyin wedge again tn divvlish hurd. |
gurdy an meetins are called TO burn |
the polls in lie f'r NOT arrestin' tn Grim
inals who sell Vegetables at tn top ~
their lungs. Some San invints an an
Twice cocktail. Lectures is delivered
TO small bodies iv preachers on how 10
detect vice so that wan can palm
on countherfeit vice on thin an make
thin think it's good. TIL polls be-
comes active an whin tn polls is ac-
tive tits a good time f'r dacint men TO
wear CERTIFICATES outsides iv their
coats. Hanyous monsthers is nailed
in tn act of histin' in shell of beer
In German Garden: husbands waits
IN tn polls station TO be r-ready to
bail out their wives whin they're ar
rested fr shopin' afther o'clock; an
there's more joy over wan sinner ray
turned to tn station sthin fr ninety
an nine that've rayformed.
"Th boss crusade is havin' tn
time iv his life all tn while. His
pitcher is in tn papers ivry mornin'
an his sermons Is directhry iv
lpiaces iv amusement. He says TO him
lsilf: Tn improvin' the wurrul an me
name will go down to tn ginerations
as tn greatest vice buster iv tn Gin
chry. whin I get through they won't
be enough crime left in this city "a
amuse a stranger firm Hannybal
Missouri. fr twinty minutes he says
That's where he's wrong. Afther a
while people gets tired iv tn pastime
They wants somewhere to go nights
Most people amt vicious. Hinnissy
an IL takes vice to hunt vice. That
accounts fr polismen. Besides tn
horse show or tn football games ol
. something else excitin' divarts theil
attention an wan day tn boss crusad
, er finds that he's alone in Sodom
/, Vice amt so bad afther all. I notice
!. business was betther whin twas ram
pant says wan la-ad. Sure YER
right SAYS another. I haven't sol,
n single pink shirt since that mai
Markers closed tn faro games say
y he. TIL theatyre business amt wha
= II was whin they was more vice. say
T. another. This amt no Connecticut vii
i lage.' he says. so tits no use thryir
u to inthrajooce soomchury legislation 4
y this impeeryal American city he say.
% where people come pursooed be Il
;. Sheriff. firm iv'ry corner iv tn wur
ruld.' he says. 'Ye can't make laws e
q this community that wud suit Me-
r. England village he says. where h
r SAYS. tn people ar-re too civilized
J. be immoral he says. Vice he say
al goes long way tow'rd maxim Iii
20 bearable.' he says. A little vice no,
iC Aa -
he says. Who's this Parkers. ann,
how, intherferin' with tn liberty iv n
individooal. an he says. maxim
hard to rent houses on tn sid
sthreets.' ne says. I bet we II We invi.
r tigate ven find that he's no beth.
> thin he shud be himsilf.' he saws A,
L tn best Parkers gets out iv II is to I
able to escape firm town in a wig a,
false whiskers. Thin tn captain iy II
polls that's been a-spendin' his vacs
tion In tn disthrict where a man has ,
" De ROCKY Mountain sheep to be a n,
ilsman, returns TO his old place. mn
~ up his hat on tn rack an saws. Ca,
~ rity. III anybody calls We can tell hi
, 10 put In an anvelope an lave II in "
box. An II we've got n good ma
mandy / wisht ye'd sind him over a
nave MIN punch tn Bishops head. II
ul Grace is gettin' too gay
VI AN there We ARE. Hinnissv r.
~ crusade Is over an Vice is rampa
again. I'm afraid. me la-ad. that I
frinds iv vice is too sthrong In m
wur-ruld Nv sin rr tn frinds iv wa
chue. tn good man. tn crusader. on
10 works at tn crusade wanst in Fl
years. an on'y whin he has time
N. spare firm his other jooties. 'Tis pa
40 time rr him. But tn definse iv vi
~ is a business with tn other la-ad q
IN he nails away at 1t. week days an Su
days, holy days. an fish days, morni
IN noon an night"
rr They ought to hang some iv tn
ile pollyticians," said Mr.. Hinnissy. a
rat grily.
tn We'll" said Mr.. Dooley, "I do
m know. I don't expict TO gather ca
her lilies in HoEan's turnip patch, W
,ps shud I expict TO pick punches iv sp
ink less statesmen firm tn gradooat
be class iv tn house iv correction?"-F.