Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-02-27

Work on Don't you worry. Faith guards
uove is its watchword and its love will
atone)
Past shores Of its peace sorrows waves
shall not sweep
Here dream if you will, dear, but
Don't
Go
Sleep.
-Esta Garrett in an Exchange
Il was over in New York the other
day." said an official to a Washington
Star man, land l had an experience
which rather incines me to the belief
that the elevator boys of that town
ought to esta blish a spelling school fund
for general and individual benefit. | was
in building occupied by publishers, and
the elevator had disk over each gate
with a hand pointing to the different
numbers on it showing where the cage
was at any given time. The chara cters
on the disk were 'S-1-2-3-4-o-6, and L
was Stumped on the ).
What is the S for on the disk? |
inquired of the boy, or young man, when
"'S?' he repeated. as if he were hear
ing of it for the first time.
Yes, S. / said. L understand the
the So
.''Oh, yes he exclaimed, as he caught
the idea. The Sum see
OF course, the S. Why. that stands for
cellar. of course. That's when you go
down below the first floor, you know
But somehow I didn't know, and later
| was informed that the S stood for
street, or the street floor
-:o:-
Diner-"In your opinion, which is the
proper time for tipping waiter, before
or after one has eaten?"
Waiter-"I should say, sir, before be
has eaten.''
"Diner-"But after he has eaten, if he
has been well served, he must feel better
satisfied with himself and therefore be
inclined to be more generous"
Waiter-"But he won't have so much
money. boston Transcript,
The poetical waiter in the Ninth street
restaurant got into quite little trouble
yesterday, says the Philadelphia Rec
ord, customer of the Bowery type being
the. instigator. The latter ordered a
half dozen fried oysters, and Immediately
the following was floating through the
air:
Fry six on q plate;
| want the best can be had.
Hurry don't make me wait:
The mans unhappy and sad;
But just there it was interrupted by the
customer with: Soy, dyer mean me?
Doncher call me names in poetry, fer
I'm deaf onto yer. an if yer cum out
side I'll make yer feel unhappy an sad
yerself" Then reaching for his hat, he
said: Now, yer kin jist cancel that or
der an go -" But the sentence was
interrupted by the waiter with:
My dear sir, It's but joke
| always talk that way:
And I'm sorry that spoke
Forgive my words and stay.
If you go I'll get fired,
So come and take your seat
Eat your fries without cost.
For | Will stand the treat.
This subdUed the customers wrath, and.
coming back to the table, he said I'll
take yer at yer word" After finishing
the oysters he produced a flask and in
vited the waiter to pull one, but the offer
was refused with this pOetical reply:
/ stopped drinking years ago.
But thank you just the same.
On runs account / am so low
| may have had some fame.
The fiery stuff I'll never taste
The rest of all my life.
1t caused my brain to go to waste,
And it made me lose my wife.
The reason
But the customer had gone.
-:O:
How is that speech?" asked the pom
derous statesman.
Fine. 1t was concise, lucid and inter
esting. You made every point perfectly
clear
DO you mean to say you understood
it right :away"'
well, I'll have to take it home and re-
write it; that's all. If people fully under
stand what you have to say the first time
you say 1t they are mighty liable to think
you're not deep. ashington Star.
The father of the family lay sick with
a combinatio of lumbago and spring fe-
ver and all the children stood about the
bedside watching the old man as he dis
posed of the breakfast that had been pre-
pared fer him by the nurse, says the
Memphis Scimitar.
The 3-year-old contingent, of course.
wanted some of the breakfast, and I'M
restrained by any scruples Of modesty,
she reached for the tray.
Help Yourself" said the father, as he
saw the fodder seize the salt cellar.
It'll do you good"
What is this, papa asked the little
enc. preparing to go against the salt.
Try it and see.
Il know what it is, she said.
''WhatY
IT'S sugar" and she pushed handful
into her mouth.
Then there was a grimace.
THAT sugars sour" she said.
-:o:
Il was coming from Cincinnati 70
Washington on the Chesapeake & Ohio
train the other day, remarked Represen-
tative Shattuc of Ohio to a writer on the
Washington Post, when four or five
sturdy Kentucky farmers came aboard.
They took seats near me and at once en-
tered into a discussion of Kentucky poll
ties. From that they digressed to ma
tional politics, and then to the individual
lty of Senator Mark Hanna
Wal, Jim, what do you think Of
him| inquired one of them.
i like Hanna replied the farmer to
whom the question was addressed. He's
the felier who makes the things that han