New Ulm review., 1900-04-04


~ .raks NJ, Chollys Oh. s.
8 = sior1ous msmosy. shroudsd thou1lh
It may u 81 tn facf Inst s1e seIdped'
TIE 1oloNine week with a1shoe Al nm
mef and dnessr sent back the er1n1
& The New Suit But surely you don't
despair7 You viii see as much Of the
world ~ formerly. will ron mott
The Old Suit-N0; my happiest hours
are over now. For q time to come you
viii do all the mingHng necessary, Just
as T did when was young. and hand
some.
= The New Suit-But our master re-
members you, doesn't he?
The Old Suit-Only when the tailor
who made me reminds him OF my ex-
istence. When we lose our beauty we
are soon forgotten and neglected-noth-
ing remains of us save an entry on the
tailors ledger and a moss covered and
unreceipted bill. &.
The New Suit m afraid you take q
pessfmistfc view of everything. old
chap. e
i The Old Suit-P Pressimistic, my boy !.
pressimistic is the word. I've been
pressed SO often that all my original
lines Of beauty are lost. The creases
and crows feet Of old age are over and
about me. I'm a baggy kneed, wrinkled
up old has been. / am being saved: up
fora rainy day-saved up for a rainy
day, that's all. -"
The New suit-oh, but say, old
chap, you-
The Old Suit-There's no use talk
ing, my boy; am older than you, and
l know from experience just what will
happen. You will be trotted out in the
bright sunshine and shown off before
an admiring multitude; will be trot-
ted out when it's raining cats and dogs
and soaked to my innermost Innings
with shrink producing liquids. You will
be hung up carefully with all sorts of
newfangled arrangements to support
you'll will be hung up at my uncle's
If my owner thinks he can get enough
on me to make the trip worth while.
You, will be carefully groomed and
brushed every day; will be thrown
down behind trunk and left there to
fret my life away, until some day q
tramp will come along and will go to
join the army of the unwashed. Oh, it's
the old, old story Of the survival of the
fittest! You are new and elegant,
therefore the fttest. Twiggy vous?
The New Suit-Then there are many
happy days in store for me, you think
The Old Suit-Oh, yes; lots of them
Pretty soon you will be taken out to
see all the lovely girls Our owner
knows, and probably you will be per.
mitted to put your arm around some
Of their waists, while | shall be left
alone here in the darkness, with moth
ing to remind me OF the good old days
except an unpaid florists bill in my in
side pocket.
The New Suit-Tm jolly we'll sorry
for you, old chap. I am
The Old Suit-Don't mention it. Your
day Of sorrow will come soon enough
Your trousers will probably be the first
to get the turndown-mine Were By
lish?
The New Suit-English, old chap.
The Old Suit thought your tone
was tride resonant. And then those
checks are formidable and foreign in
appearance. We Americans run more
to stripes. How's the prince?
The New Suit-Very we'll, I fancy. l
shall keep my trousers turned up, for,
doncherknow, he'll be reigning in Lon
don one Of these days-ha! ha! Deuced-
ly clever, isn't it, old chap? l saw it
in Punch, and Punch says some beast
ly clever things. I remember another
The Old Suit-Pardon me- l don't
wish to be rude, but what did you
cost?
The New Suit believe our owner
promised to pay f10 14s. for me-, and
blow me if I'm not worth it, eh?
The Old Suit (aside)-Yes, you're like
a singed cat-you're uglier than you
look. (AlouO Well. he promised to
pay SIG for me-$6 down and the rest
when convenient My tailor got the $6,
but it hasn't been convenient yet.
hope your tailor has better luck. Of
course. though, the copyright laws will
protect him. Sh-s-s-s-s-h. here comes
our owner. 1t is Easter morning, and
he is going to take you out on the
highways. Good luck to you, my boy.
Put on a bold front. and don't scare
the cable cars
The New Suit-Goodby, old chap.
Very glad to have met you. I'll see you
later.
The Old Suit-About daylight proba-
bly,. l know him better than you do.
Look out for the hobbies, and don't
get pinched.-New York Herald.
Br'er Rabbit In China.
fof 1ifo hill ir<