The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1900-08-08
QUEER LOVE AFFAIRS

Is of it," she says when questioned, and she
says it with an appealing smile and an
apologize touch of color that set one think
ing Make is the only name in the world
worth having, after all, for it happens once
in awhile that a queer girl is a dear girl,
too. That's the way it is with Make
She's a coquette for one thing There's
nothing queer about that in itself. Other
girls who are not queer have had love af-
fairs and played one against the other and
liked one for awhile and preferred the other
for awhile, and murmured how happy they
could be with either. But with other girls
there's generally man in the case. Per-
haps Make is the only one on the list who
has been flirting with two or three rooms
all of her queer little life. She was telling
the rest of us about it one day.
"You don't know what it is, girls" she
said, "to grow up as an only daughter in
large house. It's one constant series of
choosing and having to reject good things
because there are more than you can use.
It's lots simpler when there are others to
claim their share and you have to wait
your turn and accept what comes to you
Take it in the case of rooms. ] can dimly
remember a beautiful, peaceful time when
/ was little girl, before it had ever occurred
to me that | could occupy any room except
the little one with the south bay window
do believe, too, that I'd have been perfectly
satisfied there to this hour, only | was told
one day that if I'd prefer the immense front
room | could have it. That had always
been our guestroom, but mamma said the
only daughter had a right to choose, now
she was growing up. You'd think I'd have
been quite dazzled, for that front room
has a fireplace and large alcove and
oil hut Of IiIn't
slider it at all. My natural impulse wa,
to be true, you see 1t was not until was
undressing that night and hanging some
of my things in the wardrobe and some OF
them out in the hall closet that began to
think about the advantages of that front
room. slipped into my best dressing gown
the one | only wore on state occasions
and | trailed with a new majesty down
the dark hall and into the silent, great
guestroom. I'll never forget how | felt
as / stood there on that threshold. The
place had always awed me, anyway-it was
so large. ! had admired it from afar with
out the slightest feeling of relationship to
1t. Now it was different. / went softly in
and lighted the gas and closed the door,
looking about me with timid possession.
81 remember that night so plainly | can
hear the rufles of my silk gown swishing
HCTOSS LUdU HOOTJ Cdu reel the ClOSe ar
of the shut-up room and see the bed with
its pink canopy. / drew the easiest chair
in front of the CRATE and sat down, resting
my slippers on the andirons all in Ian
guild, leisurely way, quite new to me. There
was no fire of course, except in my magma
tion. From where ! sat l could see myself
in long mirror. / was IA then, and | had
been climbing trees and sliding down BAN
listers all my life / believe | had never
thought about my looks until that night,
but how | studied my pose in that mirrorl
l was enchanted with the way the loose
sleeve fell back from my bare arm. Prob
ably twas a scrawny enough little arm,
but l know / thought it was beautiful
I delighted in my slippers, too, and thought
my feet the prettiest things in the world
as l saw them in the glass. Everyone
thought I was in bed, but there sat until
midnight. Then stole back from the clan
destine meeting with my new love and faced
my modest, faithful lifetime companion
with the guiltiest feeling had ever known.
1t was all go natural and everyday, there in
the little room. / felt that l had come out
of dream of fine ladyhood to find myself
Just IA, and felt quite out of place in that
dressing gown. So / had it off IN trice,
but as l turned to hang 1t up the ward
robe seemed smaller than usual and / won
dered how many hooks there were in the
closet of my new room. For yes, / had
decided to go.
Next day all my knick-knacks were
moved, and how out of place they did look
In the new settingl There wasn't any real
welcome for them or for me, and every
thing was so cold and matter of fact that
l began to think / was like a person who
marries for money or for title. | couldn't
80 to sleep in the great, canopied bed, and
finally l crept back into my shorn, sad
little room to see how 1t felt. How the
little walls Rugged me as l went in! / cud-
died up on the broad sill of the bay window,
and the moonlight shining through the nus
lin curtains sent polka-dot shadows playing
over my white night dress, just as I'd al
ways loved to let it do. There was no put
ting on silk dressing gowns to visit the
room, you'll notice. Just as / was wonder
ing whether my brothers would laugh IN
endurably if moved back, my head nodded,
and the next / knew it was broad daylight,
and / went scuttling back to my grand apart
ment for fear some one should see. Oh,
of course I stayed in the large room. There
was a certain pride about it, and, besides,
there were the closet and the fireplace.
But | think my first love knew that my
heart stayed there, even though, for rea-
sons of state, I chose the other room. The
fact is, the large room never really sym
pathized with me unless l was in vain
or arrogant mood, and many and many
moonlight night found me in theslittle bay
window with the spirit Of the little room
comforting my heart.
Finally l went to college for a year. l
was too late in arriving to get the room
l wanted, and the one l lived in was just
makeshft That room and l never pre-
tended to love each other. 1t was mere
matter Of business between us. But before
came home in the summer / fell des-
perately In love with another room, and
we were engaged to each other for the next
year at once. 1t was bewitching place.
1t had tower window with seat running
all around 1t. I sat there for an hour one
day planning the times we'd have together
when I came back in the fall. I dreamed
Of serving tea In that tower with an orr
entail lantern over my head and 400 pillows
for background.
well, / came home for the summer all
coated over with intellectually and filled
nil he 4laA IL. H.