The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1900-03-19
lie IS COMING
DOWN THE PIKE.

The light Of battle CLEANS N my
Eye, and my maGiliafy muscles
/ can hardly VAN for Inc mlx-up.
Yes. an trained 10 thu
Minute ana loaded for bear,
And the trouble can't BERN
Any TOO soon to suit your Uncle Fuller
Ight1e IN be able 20 hold my
own this year the same ng
Othef yeaf8 For months have
Been prinnln' htyctif, and 81
Any man thinks amt posted
on any topic connected With
Trusts ana lnti-tk nanllon lel HIN
Qrapple with me and ind out
How Il feels % get Llted py
The Bcrun Of the neck and
Slgy-hoQted higher. By cfiminy jlnidns'
Than. old Guilderoy's Kite!
I'm the man that you'll see 8tondin'
On the corner al next summer
An fan p0mpin' the FRd-hot
Principles OF government BY tho people
Into some miagalded Whelp that
Darea 70 disagree With me, an
u he amt got AL his MP poeketB
Loaded with fGger5 a, Itatistiol
An party platforms, hen have
About az much show with me ~
A bllly-gOat q have with q traction %
BecuS. AZ I tell YOU, I'm fixed for
All Corners, All this winter WAile
Most men was out IN the cold
Dom the commpneht kind OF day labor,
was planted by the Kitchen stove,
Storm my mind with useful information.
Some OF ug have 10 study these
Great problems that confront the
People o the United Stateel and I'm
Witiih' that Il should be me, specially
When the mercury Is plaTtA'
Tag with the zero mark
So, when we begin TO discuss the
ThrObbln' issues next GUNNER III
b on deck, large Is lie and
Twice aa natural.
III lead my man on I'll ne begine
To think he has me cornered, an
Then I'll ask him what the
Republican platform had TO-.
Say on the subject O. trusts IN
The year 1885, an for him to
GIVE me the date that
Agulnaldo landed on the island Of
LuZon, and what did MCKINLEY
Say about the Philipeen in his
Message IN 1888, huh?
Then II ne can't do it--the chances
Bein that he can't, not haVih'
Sacrificed his time to study OF
These naytiohhl pnoblemA as ! nave
III turn loose on him good an hard.
I'll shake my fist under his nose
An ask him how he dares to pretend
To dispute rhetorical facts; I'll holler
Till I'm black IN the face;
may offer TO bet thousand 70
Hundred that I'm right I'll draw
A crowd. Yes, and I'll get holt
OF the fellow by the coat an
Not let him 90 TIL I've made
A monkey Of him, an got the
Whole crowd to laughin' at him.
Then IN be right IN Il IS long
As my voice holds out.
/ B'pose you noticed me four
Years ago this fall.
You prob'ly saw me iuat Tor
Minute as you was hurTyln' 10 80
To work. had my hat on the
Back o. my head an my hair down
In my eyes, an was saytn'
Few things to an old man with
Ny patriotic fell0W-citlzens that
Didn't have to hurry away to
Work IN the morning-all Of EN-
Being married-stood around and
Rooted for me.
/ ny you prob'ly noticed me.
An It may be you remember the
Kind Of talk put up. said the
Price OF wheat depended on the
Price OF silver, an the only way
10 lift our glorious country out OF
The dough Of financial depression,
BY thunder. was TO open the mints.
/ said we needed more money,
An said Il 20 you could hear
Me two blocks away. An the crowd
Was with me, every time.
They needed money. every one OF en-.
They needed It then an they need
1t now, an the sooner they get u.
Either by free coinage or dohRuont
The easier they'll be In their minds.
But to resume, said that our
Grand republic was IN the Internal NJ,
An, the farmer-Gee! How US fellowa
That hang out IN the ree.lunch joints
Here in Chicago, how we dove the farmer
The farmer must not get the
Double cross or be compelled 70
Wear a crown OF cockle-buFrg.
Yes, an know that silver dollar
Conthins EIElk grains OF 800 tnencSs,
Whatever that means. an that's
Why claimed that the crime
OF rs, attAelIin' the divine ratio,
Was 4 deafh-bloW to human happiness
Well, was good four years ago,
An I'm goln' to be good this year;
Only I've got a new speech TINS
Year I'm goln' to tackle single-hRnded'
An with only such help as
Can get from throat loEeugea, the
Problem Of trusts, or, as ! might
Say, nefarious combinations Of capital
I'm gcin' to demand competition
Not for myself. but for them that
Want to compete. propose TO PICK
Out q prominent corner, where
Can Jam street tratiic us much
As possible, an tell any one VINO
Has time TO listen that the
Goddess OF liberty Is beln' strangled
BY the unholy monster Of centraliEeo
wealth. 70
An I'm the only guy that can save her.
II she wants to be saved al
She has TO do Is hand me
A nice joh-withOut work
Then expect to talk good
Deal this year about the war
An the fruits Of victory an destiny
An trade follOWin' the nag.
Propose TO demonstrate that
The peace commissioners had no
Right to give away twenty million
Bucks belOngih' to US taXpayers
But since we have got the Phlipeens,
/ say, spread the light Of civilization;
7 q tl,a torch Of fFnpGOUHs M1fufl the
Flag frequently, an let ua make
Then TaEalos Just as Intelligent, renneu
And patriotic az we are.
It's our duty. It's destiny!
thought out that destiny busl1esS
Myself. an l expect to play
II hard ell summer, OF course
don't want TO shape up my
Views too strong on expansion I'll
] find out how the platforms reeai
But on the trust question know
Pm safe. The trust hasn't
Got friend on earth except
The people that are In the
Trusts, an they're % well nxed
They'd rather not have TOO many
Friends. ] can jump on tue
Rich and no ono viii say me
Nav. and therefore you may
Expect me back at the old
Stand, lRmbastin' the fury
Out Of the corporation magnato
An the stock manipulation that
II slowly but surely squoeEin tho
IIfe blood out Of US
Working people,
As heretofore, ! VIII ask;
"Why are the rich gettin'
Richer an the poor Rettin pooTerf"
II IL becuG the rich get out
And hustle while the poor
Stand around and try 10 save
Their country by tnikin' Of the
owls that menace our lnstltuuonsf
No! It's on account OF the
Trust. Four years ago Thought
II was somothin' else, but
Now know It's the trust.
An everybody else'll know It
This summer. too. II my
I.arynX Is equal TO tho strain. 49,