The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-01-06
THEY OUGHT TO CONE.
A Girard, Kansas Editor Cordially
Invites the FillIpinos to
This Country.

Invites the Fflllpinos to
This Country.
4 Girard, Kansas, editor cordially
invites the Fiiiipinos to come to this
country:
"You do not know what gooG
thing you are missing by not wanting
to become citizens of this grand coun-
try of ours. There isn't anything else
like il under the sun. You ought to
send u delegation oyer here to see US
this land of the free-this land of
churches and 100. 100 licrnsed saloons,
forts and guns, houses OF prayer and
licensed houses of prostitution. mill
ionaires and paupers, theologians
and thieves. libertines and liars,
Christians and chaingangs, politi-
clans and poverty, schools and scala
wags. trusts and tramps, virtue and
vice.
a land where you can get a good
Bible for fifteen cents and drink OF
bad whiskey Tor Eve cents: where we
have men in congress with three wives
and lot in the penitentiary for hav-
ing two wires: where some make
sausage of their wives, and some
want to eat them raw: where we make
bologna sausage of dogs, canned beef
of horses and sick COWS, and corpseS
of the people who eat It: where we
put man in Jail for NOT having the
means OF support, and on the rock
pile for asking for a job of work:
where We license bawsy houses and
fine men for telling the truth on the
streets: where we have a congress of
400 men to make laws, and Supreme
Court OF nine men to set them aside:
where good whiskey makes bad men
and bad men make good whishey:
where newspapers are paid for sup
pressing the truth and made rich for
telling q lie: where professors draw
their convictions ard their salaries
from the same source, where business
ensists in getting property in ang way
| that won't land yog in the peniten-
tiary; where trust holds you ua and
poverty holds you down: where men
rote for what they do not want for
fear they will not get what they do
want by voting for it: where niggers
can vote and wtite women can't:
sEhere girl who goes wrong is made
an outcast and her male partner Hour
ishes as a gentleman: where women
wear false hair and men deck the
horses: tails: where the political wire
puller has displaced the patriotic
statesman: where men vote for IL
thing Cne day and Gus it three-hun-
dred and sixty-four days: where we
spend Eve thousand dollars to bury
d congressman who is rich and ten
dollars to put away workman who
IS poor: where to be virtuous is to be
lonesome, and to be honest is to be
called q crank: where we sit on the
safety-T&lve of energy and pail wide
omen the throttle Of conscience: where
gold is a substC nce-the one thing
sought tor-and God is the waste
basket for our better thoughts and
good resolutions; where we pay
S15. 900 for dog and fifteen cents a
dozen to a poor woman for making
shirts; where We teach the untutored
red Indian eternal life from the Bible
and kill him with bad whiskey; where
we put a man in Jail for stealing
loaf of bread, and in congress for
stealing q railroad: where the check
book talks, sin walks in broad day
light, justice is asleep, crime runs
amuck. corruption permeates our
social fabric, and the devil laughs
from every street corner.
Come to as, FilliesI We've got the
grandest aggregation of good things,
big and little things. cold things and
hot things, soft things and bard
things, all sizes, varieties and colors
ever exhibited under enc tent. We've
got more guns and more whiskey than
any two shows on earth. If you
don't come we'll fetch you: that's what |
our guns are for. Of course, when
you fellows .jine' us you will have to
stop eating each other. You will be
our meat then. Our people won't
stand to see lot of good meat wasted
that way. You can eat each others |
substance that makes the flesh. You |
can eat dog bologna or canned horse
meat 1t will be almost as healthy, |
and will expand our meat trade. -
Buzz Saw.