The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-05-11

~~o-~~~-~~Oo~~N~~~
Henry James was once praising the
work of a fellow author. "You are very
kind to him." said some one present,
"for he says very unpleasant things
about your work" "Ah," said Mr.
James, "but then both Of US may be
wrong!'
At time of crisis in foreign affairs,
the Princess Mary Adelaide, Duchess
of Teck, was seated at dinner next MI.
Disraeli. She was anxious to under
stand the apparent inaction of the gov
ernment, and asked him suddenly,
"What are we waiting for?" He took
up the menu, glanced at 1t, and gravely
replied: Mutton and potatoes. maam
During the Franco-Prussian war
well-known English correspondent was
sent to the front by his paper, and on
one occasion Won Moltke sent for him
and said: "Mr. -, on such and such
day the German army will perform
such and such a movement. Ii that
appears in the -" (naming the pa
peri you will be shot" The news did
not appear.
Sir Augustus Harris once settled the
pitch question in his own offhand fash
ion. A famous prima donna of his
opera company came to him complain
ing that the piano used for vocal re-
hearsals was too high, and asking that
it might be lowered. Certainly" re-
piled Drurlolanus, with bow; "here,
Forsyth, have couple of inches saWn
off the legs of this piano"
Prince Hohenlohe Is a strong advo-
cate of Emperor Williams scheme for
great ship canal which will connect
the interior of Germany with the ocean.
In discussing the subject with one Of
the agrarian nobles who opposes the
project, the latter said: your excel
lency, you will find the opposition to
be rock in the path of your canal"
The princes eyes twinkled as he re-
torted, "We'n initiate the Prophet
Moses, smite the rock, and then the
water will low."
The late Archbishop Of York CDR.
Magee) made an eloquent speech in the
House of Lords In opposition to Glad
stones bill for the dlsestablishment Of
the Irish church. Incidentally he said
that he could not regard it as consist
ent with the salvation Of his immortal
soul to vote for the bill" A moment
later, one peer who was coming into
the house inquired of another who was
going out. 'Who is on his feet nowT
The outgoing peer, who stammered, re-
piled: Archbishop MM-Magee IS
t-t-talking against the d-d-d-disestab-
lishment of the Irish church" What
does he say" "He says he'll be
d-d-d-d If he votes for the BILL"
When Representative Gibson, of Ten
nessee, was speaking In Congress one
day recently, 1t was observed that a
member sitting in neighboring chair
was fast asleep. This occurrence was
not unusual but for man who speaks
as loud as Mr. Gibson to have a sleep
ing neighbor seemed to his political op-
ponents good joke. So one Of them
interrupted Mr.. Gibson to report that
somebody near him was sleeping and
to suggest that he should speak lit
tie louder. Mr.. Gibson, who Is a men,
ber of the pension committee, promptly
retorted, as he turned toward his sleep
ing colleague, "If he cannot hear me he
ought to have pension for deafness" !"
Several stories of the quick wit and
brilliant repartee of Mrs. Craigie
c"John oliver Hobbes') are told In
Town Topics. Everybody knows the
old story of how Mrs. Van Rensselaer,
Cruger said she would prefer to be
kissed to death, and how, wien she
was pointed out to Mrs. Craigie at the
opera, that lady said: "She will never
find an executioner." The sequel, how.
ever, is not so generally known. & re-
ception was given for Mrs. Craigie, and
Mrs. Cruger wrote to decline, adding
that she would not express regret that
she already had al engagement, as II
so frequently proved disillusioning to
meet authors after having read their
works. On being shown the note Mrs.
Craigie remarked that, having read
the works of Mrs. Cruger one could
not possibly be disillusioned in meeting
her" Mrs. Craigie's verdict on 1.-The
Quick or the Deadg" was that the
reader was distinctly de trop. She was
asked what she thought of the passage
where the heroine returns to her home
after an interval Of two years, finds a
half-smoked cigar where her husband
had left 1t, picks it up and kisses it pas
slonately. Mrs. Craigie was asked II
she thought it true to life. "Wen, hard.
ly," she replied. 'the woman who
would have done that would have
eaten it."