The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-11-23

A Scottish peasant, boasting of hi
relationship to the Duke of Argyll, ex
plained the connection in this way
'The Dukes piper's sisters wee laddi'
has wee doggie that's ain brither tC
my aunt's wee laddie's doggie."
The night clerk of leading hotel Of
Washington, D. c., says that last win
ter Southern Congressman came tc
him and demanded that his room be
changed. When asked what displeased
him, he replied, angrily: ''Well, that
German musician in the next room and
| don't get along we'll Last night he
footed away on his cIarionet so that |
thought never would go to sleep.
After | had caught few winks l was
awakened by pounding at my door
| What's the matters? | asked. If you
please, said the German, dot you would
schnOre of der same key. You vas go
from B-fat to G, and 1t spoils der
moosic'"
The following excerpt from Margaret
Macauley's little volume on her broth
er, which was printed in 1864 for pri-
vate circulation, shows Macaulay's cat
like ability always to fall on his feet:
"One day Tom said jokingly that there
are some things which always inclined
him to believe in the predominance of
evil in the world Such he said. as
bread always falling on the Duttered
side, and the thing you want always
being the last you come to- Now. |
will take up volume after volume of
this Shakespeare to look for Hamlet"
You will see that | shall come to it the
last Of ALL The first volume be took
up opened on Hamlet. Every one
laughed. What can be a stronger proof
of what ! said? cried he; for the first
time in my life | wished that what |
was looking for would come up last,
and for the first time in my life 1t has
come up first"
A newly engaged clerk in the employ
of the Standard Oil Company was sent
to work in small room that contained |
health-lift. Every morning at about
~ o'clock, when this clerk was partic-
ularly busy with figures, a small. black
man, quiet and difident in
manner, entered, said Good morning "
walked on tiptoe to the corner, and ex-
erclsed for a quarter of an hour IT
became bore to the clerk, who at last
)ne day, remarked with considerable
neat to the stranger: How do Won ex-
Dect me to do my work properly while
iou are fooling with that blasted ma.
'hine? I'm getting tired of it. Whv
lon't you put 1t where it won't worry a
person to death?" II am very sorry if
lnnoys you," said the stranger. flnsb.
ng; Il will have it removed at once f.
porter took it away within an hour
few days later the clerk was sent for
y MI Flagler, whom he found in earn
st conversation with the small black
nustached man. The latter smiled at
eelng him, gave Flagler some instruc.
Ions, and left the room. "Will YOU fell
le who that gentleman ISL" the vouno
ian asked, a light beginning to break
pom him. "That was Mr.. Rockefel.
y, was the reply. 1t was the CLERKS
rst acquaintance with the head of the
reat corporation by which he was EN-.
loyed.
An interesting story is told apronos
reporters zeal to obtain news from
lie Chinese legation in Washington. y
:. regarding affairs in Pekin. He was
enterprising young fellow sent bv
S editor to take the place of the recr.
r Washington correspondent who
as away on his vacation, and he had
'ent the whole morning in the vicinity
the legation endeavoring to Dick nm
not knowing that the mos+
rect way would have been to 600
mister Wa himself, who is Invariably
nd about granting interviews Ha !
AS about to abandon his project wbon f
intelligent-looking and well-dressad d
lnaman came down the steps of the 4
cation and responded so pleasantIr 70 8
greetings that he bombarded him
tn a whole list of questions, TO which Q
polite Celestial repeatedly an. t
erred: Dun know, dun know. NJ 4
lily, quite desperate at his insbilitv u
make something out of what he D
'ked upon as a rare chance. n WALL
th one of the legations secretaries
asked, appealingly: "weu snrelv
u know something of the dowsgor o.
press; what do you think Of her,, {
le no thinkee," responded the chino cl
N; me washee," and with this mart a
announcement he disappeared ipto 81
aundry near by, of which ne tnrned W
to be the proprietor. d
Dead Ancestors in China. "