davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1900-02-28

MI. L. IL. mason IS our authorized agent
at Clayton, Del, and will receive new sub
criptions and receives monies on old. AL
news items left with him will receive proper
attention: Subscribe now; only $1.O0
year in advance.
CLAYTON.
items of Interest Cleaned From the Doings
in and About Town.
Preaching and communion service at
Bethesda NJ. P. Church next Sunday
at 2.30 p. m.
A business meeting of the Epworth
League of st. Paul NJ. E. Church will
be on Monday evening.
The Rite of Holy Communion will be
observed at st. Paul's NJ. E. Church
next Sunday morning.
The Quarterly Conference of Clay
ton Circuit, M. P. Church, will meet
in Clayton on next Saturday at 2. p.
m.
The Official Board of st Paul NJ. E.
Church will meet Tuesday evening,
the last official meeting this conference
year.
The Ladies' Aid Society of Ewell's
NJ. P. Church will meet at the parson-
age tomorrow (Thursday) afternoon,
to work on the quilt.
Mrs. H. Seiders will give supper at
her residence on Saturday, March 10th,
in heinterest of Ewell's M. p. Church.
Refreshments for sale. The public is
cordially invited to attend.
Rev. W. w. White will preach at
Salem NJ. P. Church on next Sabbath,
March the 4th. at 2.3O p. m. Hymn Sc
lections, AL, 495, 215. Pentecostal
hymn 1913.
Mrs. r. H. Matlack, State Secretary
for the Woman's Foreign Missionary
Society, will address the congregation
of ST. Paul M. E. Church next
Sunday evening on the subject of
missions. Mrs. Matlack was former
resident of Smyrna.
Rev. W. o. Hurst of Odessa, form
erly pastor of st. Paul's NJ. E. Church,
gave a lecture last evening on ''Brains"
before fairly good audience. The
frigid cold weather had much to inter
fere in drawing out large crowd, but
those who heard him, speak highly of
the manner in which he treated his sub
ject.
Rev. J. E. Nicholson, pastor of
Ewells M. P. Church, will preach next
Sunday morning on the Sunday
School Lesson; sermon and commun
ion service at night. Sunday School
at2p.m. Members meeting Wednesday
at 7.30p.m. to vote for delegate to the
Annual Conference. Teachers meet
ing Saturday at p. m.
Miss Ray Cats, daughter of Mr.. and
Mrs. James Cats, near town, was
united in marriage to Mr.. William
Amwake of Camden, N. j., at 8. 80
o'clock Thursday morning last by the
Rev. DIR. W. F. Corkran. The cere-
mony took place at the home of the
brides parents before few relatives
and friends.
The Clayton canning factory which
has been under the control of John I
Perkins has been sold to Mr.. G. w
Baker of Aberdeen, Md. 1t is the il
intention of running it under mucl
better management than heretofore
H. G. Arthurs of Kenton, and M. L
Nudge of this town, are looking ou
for Mr.. Bakers interest and making
contracts for the coming year.
LenteD services will be held at Trim
ity Church as follows: Wednesday s
morning prayer and litany, 10 o'clocl
a. m, evening prayer and address Of
the Holy Communion at 7.30 p. m.
Fridays, morning prayer and litany
1Oa M, evening prayer and confrma
tion instruction, 7.30 p. M, Satul
days, morning prayer at a. M, even
ing prayer and address at p. m.
The promotion of T. g. Metz to th
SUPERINTENDENT office as announce
Smyrna times., 1900-02-28
The $3.50 Winter RuSSet

Box Calf and regular Calf Skin
will go at $3.50 during this offer.
Smyrna times., 1900-02-28
Ladies', Misses and Chill
dren'S Shoes
Crawford Shoe

We have the sole agency for the
Crawford-they are the best and
most up-to-date shoe on the market.
The Irish standard., 1900-11-17
Flaherty's Wit.

One day last week, John Mulcahy,
a Chicago lunatic climbed on the top
of the wall of big building and an
nounced to the people below that he
was going to jump off. A crowd gath
cred in the street and several men
started up the scaffolding to prevent
the lunatic from committing the mad
deed.
"Don't come up here" he shouted
to the men who were climbing the
scaffold. "I'm going to jump, and
you can't stop me-"
But Mulcahy did not jump, nor did
the young heroes who so valiantly
climbed to rescue him prevent him.
1t remained for the quick wit Of his
best friend and neighbor to drive the
crazy idea from his mind and induce
him to come down.
Just as the men were nearing the
top Michael O'Flaherty, who lives ut
81 Rawson street, and who has known
Mulcahy as a dreamer and dangerous
man for long time, appeared on the
scene.
"Come down, from there" shouted
O'Flaherty.
"No, Mike" cried the aerial puzzle,
come up here with me and we'll have
a fine jump down"
This seemed to frighten O'Flaherty,
but he remembered joke he had read
years ago and shouted with all the
voice he could summon:
"Pat, don't make a id fool of your
self. Any idiot can jump off build
Ing. Come down here with me, and
we'll have fine jump up"
Mulcahy faltered and stepped back
from the narrow ledge on which he
stood. His friend kept shouting argu-
ments that the leap meant certain
death and that 1t would be much more
sensible to Jump up than down, II he
really had to jump somewhere.
The Irish standard., 1900-11-17

the very pick of all the fighting Beers.
l regard the Boer army as much bet
ter now than it was at first
OF his experience with the British
force Mr.. MacQueen said: 81 was al
ways in great awe of the Gordon High
but in war and in camp I
found them most lambiike and gentle.
One big Gordon was cooking his sup
per outside Pretoria, supper for him
and his chum consisting of two hand
fuls of -four. This he baked into two
cakes or 'bannocks,' as he called them.
1 asked him what lie was fighting for
and he said: I've naething against
thae Boer bodies, but It's orders, man;
it's got tae be dune We see.' This poor
chap had not had a piece of bread for
six weeks.
''The Coldstream guards were big,
hearty lads. put a question to
boy: why are you
fighting?' His reply was: They say
it be fur flag an queen, sir, but be
fightin' for Il livin' for me an me
wife an choild. They gle me one and
tuppence a day, but sixpence O. that
so to my wife. But if ever get back
at home, sir, the impyrial army will
ha' to do without me.'
"The colonials are by far the best
soldiers in South Africa and the Cana
dians are the best of the colonials
These men are regular Are aters-very
much like our Observation-Disclosures AS
far as could make out the Canadians
were out here for the fierce desire Of
Il good big fight and for the glory Of
the empire. These are the most thor
oughly- imperialistic men of the British
forces in South Africa.
The New Zealanders and Australi-
ans are like the Canadians, but far
more republican. Thus in Beira, in
the tent of an Australian captain, 1
heard one of the most eloquent eulo-
gies of the Beers / ever heard. This
captain said to lot; Of us from the
German boat: '"rhe Beers are per-
haps the bravest men alive to-day
We have no instance in modern times
of farmers who have so heroically de-
Tended their homes. Even the Alneri-
cans under Washing ton did not have
the terrible odds against them, and did
not infiict such slaughter on the en-
emy. am down here just for a vari-
ETY.. It's good pay, and gives us a
chance for honor, and also a chance
to look at the farming prospects Of
South Africa. and of Rhodesia in par
ticular."
The great excellence Of the British
army is it's colonials and Highlanders
But it's overwhelming weakness is in
the physical and mental weakness Of
its officers. Many of them could not
command troop of barnyard fowls
Drawn from the so-called British aris-
tocracy, they have in many cases no
notion whatever of what a rough and
ready soldiers life should be. To put
such pitiful nobodies over big, strong
Highlanders is a crime for which Eng
land may yet pay with her life. They
came to Dundee with bathtubs and cut
<,v4 "a
pimpled dandies. The Beers are so
ignorant that they had no fear Of such
high sounding names as the Kings
Royal Rifles, the Imperial Light Horse.
They had never read about the "Black
Watch" and the Northumberland
Fusileers, and thought it was no sin to
cut up the one and to imprison the
other.
The Irish standard., 1900-11-17

A man saw for the first time a
school girl 60 through her gymaastic
exercises for the amusement of the
little ones at home. After gazing at
her with looks Of interest and COM
passion for some time he asked boy
il she had fits.
.No" replied the boy, 'Them's
gymnastics.'
"Ah, how sad" said the man. "How
longs she had 'em?"
The Irish standard., 1900-11-17

''Get outv' commanded her father.
Don't ever let me see You here again. .
Very WELL" replied the confident
7oung man. "Your daughter can tell
-ou the nights l am to call. and you
can arrange to be ont until leaYe.''
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-09-04
Blum. In the Director.

T. you pick up that interesting annu-
al, the city directory. you will find it
filed with bluffs. Here is man down
as superintendent. You know he is
only the foreman of a labor gang. An
other is designated as general mana
ger. Three or four men are subject to
his general management, or, as his
5-year-old-son, who inherited his pro-
pensity to bluff, put it, hes the head
man of three other fellows" Over Oh
this page is another chap who is given
as the political editor of newspaper
of some political Importance. Don't
believe it. He's merely a reporter as
signed to gather political news, and ev-
erything he writes is carefully "eulted'
by another man with title Of much
less Importance. This man down in
the book as a merchant sells shoe
strings and collar buttons in a cubby
hole between two buildings made avail
able when an alley fell into disuse.
Mime. Blanque, modesto" is merely
Mrs. Blank, dressmaker, making a
French bluff for which she collects aft
er the cutting out and fitting are done.
But what is the use of picking them
out? The directory is filed with them
-Pittsburg Press
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-09-04
withdrawing a juror,

One particularly amusing incident
characterized Congressman Burton's
early experience at the bar. For some
reason it became necessary to request
continuance in a case in which he
was counsel. After Mr.. Burton had
explained why there should be n con-
tinuance the court told him simply to
withdraw a juror and the case would
be marked continued For the moment
the young attorney was snonplused,
but after glancing at the court to salts
fy himself that the judge was in earn
est he walked over to the jury box,
eyed the jurors for an instant and then
firmly seized large, portly German
and endeavored with no little effort to
drag him out of the jury box. In the
midst of the general laugh which fol-
lowed, the court came to the rescue of
the discounted young barrister by ex-
planning that the term was simply
technical and need only be written on
the docket.-Saturday Evening Post.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-09-04
He Prayed Hard.


An old man in Georgia named Jack
Baldwin, having lost his hat in an old
dry well one day, hitched a rope to a
stump and let himself down. A wicked
wag named Neal came along just then
and, quietly detaching bell from
Baldwin's old blind horse, approached
the we'll bell in hand and began to ting
a-ling.
Jack thought the old horse was com
ing and said: "Hang the old blind
horse! He's coming this way sure, and
he amt got no more sense than to fall
in on me- Whoa, Ballp'
The sound came closer.
Great Jerusalem, the old blind foo
will be right on top of me in mint!
Whoa, Ball. Whoa, haw, Ball!'
Neal kicked little dirt on Jack S
head, and Jack began to pray:
"Oh, Lord. have mercy on-whoa,
Ball!-a poor sinner Pm gone now;
whoa Ball Our father who art in
whoa, Ball! - hallowed be thy - gee,
Ball, gee! what'll do?-name. Now l
lay me down to siege, Ball" Just
then in fell more dirt. ooh, Lord, if
you ever intend to do anything for me
back, Ball. whoa! - thy kingdom
come gee, Ball! Oh, Lord, you know
was baptized in Smiths mill dam
whoa, Ball! no: up! murder! whoa!"
Neal could held in no longer and
shouted a laugh which might have
been heard two miles, which was about
as far as Jack chased him When he got
out.-Atlanta Journal.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-09-04

from the height, and three gun bat
terry opened on the Barbarian" The
reception to this was saucy display
of Yankee bunting. Then shore bat
terry joined in the shooting. The Wyo-
ming gave the guns at the shore full
broadside, and this drew the fire of oil
the batteries.
MacDougal was in strange waters,
and the japanese pilot gave advice
which if followed might have led to
disaster. He insisted that the Wyo-
ming should remain well out in the
channel for fear of getting aground.
But all the enemy's guns bore on the
channel Captain MacDougal knew
the iron steamer as a. commercial ship
and that she drew more water than the
Wyoming, so he took chances with the
ships and the shoal water and dashed
in in true Yankee style.
Opening briskly with his pivot and
broadside guns. the brave sailor shift
ed the course of the Wyoming from the
center of the channel to the harbor so
as to pass between the iron steamer
and the other vessels. When the Amer
lean got abreast of the bark, the latter
opened with three guns, which, Mac
Dougal answered, then passed on to
the brig. The brig let loose with her
four 80 Founders, but the Wyoming
sailed steadily on, pouring shot right
and left into the brig and steamer.
Both Japanese ships were cut by hull
shots. but they continued to maHeuver
for battle
After sailing out Of range Captain
MacDougal turned to look the scene
over. The steamer still showed fight.
and he turned the Wyoming back over
her course, keeping the steamer out
side, as before. All this time the
American ship was under the fire of all
the Japanese guns. In passing the
steamer the second time the Wy
oming's guns planted 10 inch shell in
her amidships, just above the water
line. Something exploded inside the
stricken ship, for volumes of smoke
and steam poured out Of every opening
in her works. Two more shells were
sent home into her hull, and she drift
ed helplessly on the waves, the Ameri-
can crew cheering wildly. Her boiler
had exploded, thus adding to the havoc
caused by the terrible Dahlgren shells.
Having put the steamer out of the
fight, the Wyoming turned inshore to
settle with the bark. brig and land
batteries. Behind the batteries lay the
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-09-04
some English Laws.

If you deposit money in bank and
leave it theru for over six years with
out adding 70 1t, drawing on it or deal
ing with it in any way, it comes under
the statute of limitations and is lost to
you forever.
Suppose you bought gold ring and
without saying anything about pay
ments or delivery you turned round to
examine clock and a maybe flew in
and carried off the ring it would be
your loss. You would have to pay the
jeweler, while he need not give you
another ring. If you bought horse
and said you would call for him in the
evening and if the stables were burned
and the horse destroyed before you
called, you would have to bear the con-
sequences. But if anything remained
to be done to the property purchased
the seller would be responsible. Sup
pose he undertook to put a nail in the
horses shoe or suppose the jeweler
said he would polish up the ring, then
the loss would fall on him, not you.
II you wrote from London to miller
in Bristol Offering to sell him a cargo
of wheat at 80 shillings a quarter and
he wrote letter accepting your offer
and posted it the same day, the con-
tract would be completed. Suppose,
now, the letter got lost, you concluded
that he was not going to buy and you
sold the cargo to some one else, you
would be liable for damages to the first
buyer, and the worst of it is you could
get nothing out of the postmaster gen
eral.-London Answers.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-09-04
A SpurEcOn Pun.

Charles Haddon Sturgeon, the non
conformist preacher, was a great pun
ster. One day while an invalid at Men
tone he was walking by the seashore al.
a time when the Mediterranean was
raging furiously. Suddenly he inter-
rupted the conversation and asked,
What are, the wild waves sayingy'
and then he gave his own witty an
sWer to the question, Let us (s)prayv'.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-09-04
Effect of paternal Example

Mr.. Tucker, who sometimes goes
cunning, was trying to teach Tommy
the meaning OF the word brace" as
applied to game
Now, Tommy" he said, IF you
should go hunting and kill 20 pleas
ants. for instance, how many would
you say you had bagged?"
Fifty" replied Tommy. = Chicago
Tribune.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-09-04
y ANKEE AND YELLOW
WAR ovERAN OPEN DOOR AND RIGHTS
OF FOREIGNERS.
Sspan's Patriots" Told Outsider. to
quit the country-Then They Fired
ON an American ship-A Man-o'-
wars Great Guns Settled the Case.
[Copyright. 4 1900 hx q d. Kilmerl

|NCLE SANS
marine fighters
made, their de-
but long ago as
the scourge@ of
yellow fanatics,
and the circum-
stance in con-
nection with the
Boxer outbreak
in China shows
a plain instance
|of 1.-The bitter bit. :"
Japan is now
fighting for the
rights of foreign
! ers in Oh ma
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-09-04
Improving His Time.

so youawere in Paris"
EYES," answered Mr.. Cumrox. "Mrs.
G. and the girls wanted to CO."
Did you visit all the points of in
terest?"
Il should say so. We Went TO more
places in week than we could learn
to pronounce the names Of in six
months. "-Washington Star.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-09-04

THE WYOMING IN ACTION WITH THE BARK.
with in the shape of an iron steamer
mounting four guns. This ship, for
merly the Lancefield, lay in front of
the bark and brig, with her cannon
trained upon the main channels. All
told the Japanese ships mounted 20
guns, chiefly "a Founders. The Wyo-
ming carried four 80 Founders and two
10 inch guns.
AS the Wyoming hove into view of
the Japanese sentries, rounding point
In the straits, signal guns We're fred
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-09-04


Commander of the Wyoming.]
town of Simonoseki, and sMacDougal
tossed few shells over the housetops
to serve as an example. The Japs new
er forgot that lesson, and after the
ports We're opened again they had but
one comment to make on the visit of
the Wyoming in 1868. That was. "Oh.
those great guns"
When the Wyoming got abreast of
the brig on the return trip, the latter
was sinking. MacDougal steamed
ahead and finished the bark, which
came out Of the fight completely rid
died and useless for war purposes.
With his port guns he pounded the
land batteries until out of range, then
took account of his casualties to see
whether the satisfaction was ample
If not, he would go in again.
The Wyoming came out with two
shots through her hull and 20 to 80 dis
tributed in the smokestack and rigging.
The Japs evidently had not played at
random, and their shots spilled good
American blood. Captain MacDougal
lost four killed and had six wounded.
But. considering the odds in guns and
men. the Wyoming had vindicated
American honor. The iron steamer was
entirely destroyed, and 40 of her crew
We're killed or disabled. Many Japanese
gunners We're killed in the batteries
and the nation was so grateful for the
sacrifices and valor which marked the
event that Il was nlaced i'm the calen-
dar as the first deed of arms in ia
pan" And it required just 20 minutes
for Yankee captain and a Yankee
crew to write that chapter in yellow
history.
The peculiarities of the yellow
heather" were shown throughout in
this affair with Prince Choisou. The
powers whose ships had been fired up
on sent a fleet to threaten SimonoselS'
and obtained an indemnity of $3.00O,00o
in Mexican money. The experience at
Simonoseki opened the eyes of the anti
foreign element to the power of the
"barbarians," and there was Il radical
change in Japan. The tycoon tried to
punish Choisou, but was defeated and
driven from power. After many con-
fiicts government by mikado or
emperor was established and the for
eign governments invited to send repre-
sentatives. Foreign tars behind mod
ern guns had no little to do with the
revolution of sentiment.
GEORGE l.. KILMER.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-09-04
EXCURSION RATES
c. & N. w.

Railway Farm Lands for Sale. In
Northern Wisconsin on the North
Western Line. Low rates and easy
terms of payments. About 100000
acres of choice farm lands. Early
buyers will secure the advantages of
locations on the many beautiful streams
and lakes, which abound with fish and
furnish never ending and most ex-
cellent water supply, both for family
and for stock. Land is generally we'll
timbered, the soil fertile and easy of
cultivation. Chicago, Milwaukee, ST.
Paul, Minneapolis. Duluth, Superior.
Ashland and numerous other thriving
cities furnish good markets for farm
produce. For further particulars adj
dress Geo. w. Bell. Land Commissions
err, Hudson, Wis, or G. 81. McRae, A.
G. P. A., ST Paul, MINI. 65-5
Excursion tickets to County Fair at
Holstein, Iowa. via the North Western
Line. will be sold at reduced rates Sep
TENDER l. to g., limited to Septembe I.
Apply to agents Chicago & North
Western Rsy.
Excursion tickets to County Fair at
Carroll, Iowa, via the Northwestern
line, will be sold at reduced rates, Sep
TENDER 8 to IA, limited to Sept. Is.
Excursion tickets to County Fair at
Ogden, Iowa, via the Northwestern
line, will be sold at reduced rates Sep
TENDER 10 to IA, inclusive, limited to
Sept. Is.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-01-04
LACE AND LINGERIE.
A FavOrite Trimming of the Season
for Chamber Linen as Well
as Clothes.

Lace is the trimming this season for
every kind of gown, wrap or lingerie,
and the plain materials mostly selected
for dressy toilets admit of its extensive
use. Black laces are for the most part
made by the shuttle, while white ones
are often a combination of shuttle and
needle.
Old laces are made of pure linen
thread, in the natural colors, which all
artificial coloring has failed to initiate
The exquisite shade of this ancient
thread softens the complexion just as
blonde hair does fair face, and no
amount of washing in tea, coffee or 9TH
er preparations can give to modern lace
the creamy tint which makes the old
thread so becoming.
Venetian and Chantilly laces are pref
cradle for entire robes, but unless lace
dress is handsome it is not at all desir-
able.
Lace has invaded the household de-
partment, too. Sheets and window
shades are now trimmed with it. Lace
letters, initials or monograms, as well
as figures, are inserted in tablecloths,
napkins, and all bed linen. But the
lace of lace, which irresistibly appeals
to every feminine heart, is the old speci-
mems found in grandmother's boxes
quaint collars, berthas, jabots, f1ounces
and handkerchiefs. These are the laces
for which bureau drawers, unlocked for
years, and old chests stored away in
musty attics are being ransacked now.
N. Y. Tribune.