davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
UNCLE DAvIp.s BoARpERs.


We've been tal1in' summer boarders-they
come down week ago
Thought we'd make little extry, kind
of on the side, you know
Had piece put in the paper. SOS to let
the people see
Jest what kind of commoda tons we
could give emma and me-
Purity soon we got letter from some
people up in town,
Sayin' they had read about us, and they
bring the children down.
Ma and me done lots of plannin' when
we'd got the bargain made,
AS to how we'd use the money that the
summer boarders paid;
says: Ma, you've got to spend 1t buy
In clothes m things you need
But she shook her head decided and she
answered: mo, indeed!
You've been wantin' new buggy m the
barn needs roofin too
won't touch a single penny, but leave
1t all fer you.''
There is purity Mrs. Plimley, with her
little bits of feet,
That, somehow, you're always seein', and
her smile so awful sweet,
And there's Plimley with his golf sticks
n his coat as red as blood,
And their little darlin daughter like a
rose Jest in the bud,
And. besides them three. another-if I'd
saw him first vow
We'd of took no summer boarders and
we'd still be happy now.
First WI lei run OFF the wagon, smashin'
thin all up. but oh
Little While didn't do It! He's SO inno-
cent, you know.
Then we found the turkeys cripplsd-hit
II r.k1 ~ 80 III.
Couldn't blame sweet little Willie-all he
hasn't is the wingsi-
There's dozen broken winders. m the
pumps all out of gear.
And the chickens run fer cover since
dear little Willie's here.
Gates. somehow, keep comm open, so the
pigs go tearin loose
In among the corn n taters, rootin'
round to beat the deuce!
Guess our fruit'll be failure from the
way it's droppin' down
Lord! l wish these summer boarders had
to hurry back to town.
Barn most caught afire Nonday--burned
a ton Of hay. but, oh,
Little Willie never done It! He's too good
for that, you know!
Worst thing happened, though. when
AAAAS5, WttAA AAS leu 3COat OhAs WSiie
out
To the pasture. where the cattle had beels
left to browse about:
He was busy knockin' golf balls when
our Jersey bull caught sight
OF that coat and come a-tearin' down the
hill with all his might
There was bags and golf sticks flynn
with man up in the air
Little Willie'd be an orphan If the fence
had not been there.
Well, the Doctors very hopeful-thinks
he'll pull the patient through
Hc has bruises most all over and q
broken rib or two;
And they say I'll have to settle-it'll be a
whoppin' BILL
We've got through this kind of business
me and ma have had our fill
l don't wish those town folks blasted =
that, you know, I'D be a sin.
But I've got big sign painted: mo
MORE BOARDERS TAKEN IN"
IS. z. Kiser. in Chicago Times-Herald.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
Fun TOR the conrt

A prolix and pompous Missouri law
yer defending an ebony negro, was se-
lecting jury of white men. He had
asked numberless needless questions,
when the judge said: Come,
now, Mr.. c.. you will be ex-
amining the jurors teeth next.
Hurry along. Let's get through
with this nonsense" ''Well,' said the
lawyer, ''just one more general ques-
tion. Are any of you in any way re-
lated to the defendant at the bar?' An.
other Missouri attorney, in divorce
suit. set up in the wife's cross hill the
fact that the husband undertook to
poison her without just Case
and Comment.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
MAKES DEATH PAINLESS.
The Cuban Garrote Is Reported To No
a Humane Method of Execute
ing Criminals.

PRESIDENT Mckinley, in answer &c
the request of the senate for informa,
tion as to the garroting of Porte
Rican criminals under American rule
has sent to the upper house letter
from Military Gov. George w. Davis
giving that high functionary's opin-
Ion of the garrote as an Instrument
for inficting official death. Accord.
ing to his idea, says the New York
Times, it furnishes a much easier and
less revolving method OF execution
than hanging. Says he, in letter ia
President Mckinley, in answer to tina
inquiry of the chief executive:
when the present military gov
ernor came to this island for duty, he
found the local laws, unchanged re-
specting capital punishment, and when
the occasion arose to carry into effect
sentence of the courts which ye,
quired that the criminals suffer the
capital penalty, careful inquiry was
made as to what the statutes provided
as respects the act itself of CARROT,
ing, which is the only mode of execu-
ton known to the island save that Of
shooting to death with muskets in
certain cases under the laws of war.
II inquired into the matter Of
mechanical details, how the iron col
lar was applied, and the physiological
effects of the instrument. This in
vestigation satisfied me that between
garroting and hanging the former was
less barbarous and revolving and in
sured almost instant death to the vio-
tim. The convicted criminal is seated
and lashed in chair, in the manner
in which the victim is secured who is
to be electrocuted. Passing up behind
the chair, and part of it, is heavy
post to which the iron collar is fixed,
the latter is hinged and made to in
close the neck of the man. Through
the post, and secured to the collar,
works q rapidly threaded screw, by
means of which the collar is drawn to
the rear. The screw is worked by .
strong handle, and by single turn
of it, occupying but the fraction of a
second, the collar inclosing the neck
of the victim is pulled to the rear
vertebrae instantly. The shock com
pletely paralyzes the man, and death
is immediate. There may be some
twitching of the muscles, but no other
movement, and not drop of blood 70
seen.
"From the moment that the subjecs
Is seated in the chair he is completely
covered with mantle, so he can see
nothing, and his features cannot be
seen.
ut was my understanding that the
executions were to take place in the
Jail yard. but this was not done for
the reason that the space was report
ed to be. inadequate; therefore the
executions were in public.
''If the occurrence was to be repeat
ed during my command, I should In
sist that the great mass of the public
should not see the spectacle, but / re-
peat that execution by the garrote Ia
far less inhuman and revolving than
execution by hanging"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21

Large sun spots, astronomers say,
caused the extreme heat this summer, and
doctors declare nearly all the prostrations
were induced by disorders ofthe stomach.
Good health follows good digestion.
Kodol Dyspepsia Cure digests what You
eat. If you have indigestion or dyspepsia
it will quickly relieve and permanently
cure you. Eli T. Reynolds.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
Good Plain English,

''Fhe man whom you saw me talk
ing with this evening dared to kiss me.
! can assure you spoke my mind to
him in good plain English"
"What did you say to him?"
II warmed him that the next time he
did ! should be obliged to rebuke him."
m. Y. World.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21

The progressive nations Of the world
are the great food consuming nations.
Good food well digested gives strength.
If you cannot digest all you eat, you need
Kodol Dyspepsia Cure. 1t digests what
You eat. You need not diet yourself. II
contains all of the digestants combined
with the best known tonics and recon-
structives. 1t will even digest all classes
of foods in bottle. No other preparation
will do this. 1t instantly relieves and
quickly cures all stomach troubles. Eli
T. Reynolds.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
she Had No Chance.

Miss Gilgaf (reading)-A girl IN
Pennsylvania has saved an express
train from destruction by taking or
her red petticoat and waving it as q
signal.
Miss Tenspot-O, dear. could never
do anything heroic like that.
"Why not?"
because don't wear red petit
coats."-Detroit Free Press.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
The Awe-InspIring Flunkey

When Queen Victoria was at Bal
moral. some time ago. she visited an
aged cottager. and. on leaving her.
said: You viii now no longer be
hfiaid of me. and I shall expect you
to pay me visit" "Ah, ma'am," she
replied. its not yerself I'm fright
ened at; it's them grand servants."-
Little Chronicle.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
CostIy Rahha4..

"There is man in New York who
has paid $500 for Belgian hare. What
do you think of that for foolishnessfs
"Oh, that isn't SO foolish. I know .
man who can trace the loss of $1,000
directly to one hind foot of rabbit
that hethought was going to bring him
luck In poker game. Chicago Times
Herald
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21

Judge-Have you anything to say
before the sentence is passed2
Accused-One thing, your honors
Consider the youth of my attorney.
Remember how hard he tried and show
what consideration you can for him. !.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
Az II seemed ta Him,

Now. the two had loafed all morn
ing and had caught nothing.
Fish run In schools. understand"
said one.
They do" added the other.
At that moment the one raised his
hook and looked at it.
This must be vacation time" he
added.-Harper's Bazaar.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21

Liver tronbles quickly result in seriou,
,a'Lpliea;;oas, and the man who neglects hi:
!iver has little regard for health. A bottle
OF lSrowns' Iron Bitters taken now and the,
viii keep the liver in perfect order. If tn,
di,easc has developed, Browns Iron Bitter
WIN cure It permanently. Strength and
vitality will always fellow ils mse.
Hrowns' Iron Bitters Is sold by all dealers
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
Arousing Hin,.

Mrs. Dimpleton-It is time to giva
the baby his milk and the dear httlos
soul is asleep. ! want him to wake
naturally.
Dimpleton-That's easy. I'll snorel
n few times.-Puck.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
ORPHANS, COURT.

The Stated Meetings of the Orphans
Court Of Cecil county will be held on th
second Tuesday ofevery month. Executor.
Administrators and Guardians, want,n,
their accounts stated, will please bring i,
their vouchers few days before Court.
Test: r. E. JAMAR. Register
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
NOTICE

BIZ THE oapHAss' CouRT FOR cEon. COUNTY,
January l3. 1000.
ORDERED, That all Administrators, Ex
ecutors and Guardians that have not state
an account within year. come forward an
do the same. or show cause to the contrary
or they will be cited up.
Test: r. E. JAMAR, Register
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21

Cobwigger = What is it that Is
troubling Freddie so much?
Mrs. Cobwigger- Joined two Sum
day schools and they are both going
to have their strawberry festival on the
same dRy.-Iudge.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21

"She has been in New York society
for several years now. and no breath
of scandal has ever been attached to
her name"
"Ah, well, she's young yet."-
Brooklyn Life.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
Just suit Them.

Ida-There was controversy about
the kind of bricks to use In our club
house.
May-Why not bricks of ice cream2-
Chicago Daily News.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
To Be Considered.

Coin to New York. Silasa You
ought to run over to Paris"
Il might, if understood French
"Well, not understandin' 1t, Silas.
you might be harder to bunco.' PUCK.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21

The most dainty and effective pills
made are DeWitt's Little Early Risers.
They are nne4ualed for all liver and
bowel troubles. Never gripe. Eli T.
Reynolds.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
Cure Cold In Head

Kermott'S Chocolates Laxative Quinine easy
to take and quick to cure cold in head and sora
throat.
Eli I. Reynolds Pharnnev.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21

To prevent consumption quickly cure
throat and lung troubles with One Minute
Cough Cure. Eli T. Reynolds.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21

well, there's good time coming, !"
remarked Easyton. cheerfully.
"Yes. replied Botkins. "My wife's GO
ing away. too. Town Topics.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21
Sized Him On.

Charles-Did the tailor take your
measure?
Algy-I guess he cid. He said Id
have to pay in advance.-N. Y. journal.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21

Mrs. Robinson-Aay has alteredsince
she married Freddie. She used to be so
pensive.
Mrs. Jones-Now, suppose, she's ex-
psnsive.-The King.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21

Poisonous toadstools resembling mush-
rooms have caused frequent deaths this
year. Be sure to use only the genuine.
Observe the same care when you ask for
DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve. There are
poisonous counterfeits. DeWitt's is the
only original Witch Hazel Salve. 1t is a
safe and certain cure for piles and all
skin diseases. Eli 7. Reynolds.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-09-21

DeWitt's Little Early Risers are prompt
palatable, pleasant. powerful, purifying
little pills. Eli T. Reynolds.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1900-11-01
A BIG OUTPOIRING
OF the Democracy at the Op-
era House Last Saturday
Evening-A Highly Sue
CeSSful Meeting.
Fred Ikeler ESQ.,, Delivers an
Eloquent Speech.

The Young Mems Democratic
Club, an organization composed Of
the representative young voters of
Bloomsburg held a highly successful
meeting in the Opera House Saturday
evening. The speakers were to be
Iohn G.. Harman Esq, and Fred
Ikeler Esq, but at late hour in the
day, Mr.. Harman was called away,
and the Club had not sufficient time
to secure another to take his place.
The meeting was called to order
and Clem r. Weiss chosen chairman.
After making few remarks in regard
to the need of cooperation on the
part of every democrat, he introduced
Mr.. keller as the speaker OF the even.
ing. This gentleman's appearance on
the platform was the signal of tum-
ultous demonstration, and as he stepp.
ed before the foot lights he was cheer
ed to the echo. Mr. Ikeler is too well
known to need any further comment
here, suffice it to say that his speech
was a splendid one, polished, logical,
scholarly and gentlemanly, and held
the close attention of the large audi
ence. His arguments were lucid
and at the same time beyond contri-
diction. Especially effective was his
reference to the Bloomsburg Brass
and Copper Company, at one time a
prosperous industry of our town. But
its prosperity was short lived, it fell a
victim to the trust, its doors were clos
ed, and the buildings are gradually
gong to decay. Republicans can adj
vance no argument in rebuttal to this.
The plant stands, with extinguished
furnaces, and barred doors as a wit
ness to the .ruthfulness of Mr.. Ikeler's
assertion. The speaker scored many
other points, but lack Of space pre-
vents further comment.
The Buckhorn and Bloomsbury
Bands were In attendance, and the
music enlivened the occasion and was
greatly enjoyed. The meeting was a
great success in every way and the
young men are to be congratulated
for the admirable arrangements and
the successful result of their efforts.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1900-11-01
The Ballots,

The ballots for next Tuesdays cleo
ton are printed and delivered to the
commissioners. They are IS inches
long, and IS inches wide, and are
printed on good book paper, better
than is used in most counties of the
state. Being so large, the paper is
not quite as heavy as usual, as a
heavy paper would make too much
bulk and the ballot boxes wouldn't
hold them. A tin straight edge is
furnished each district, and the cleo
ton officers can use this, or cut them
with knife. Complaint has some
times been made that the ballots are
not perforated enough, but if they
were perforated so that they would
tear off without a straight edge, they
would fall off of their own weight. 1t
mas also been complained that the
pencil point punches through the
paper, but one can punch through a
card board unless you have solid
surface underneath. With proper care
there will be no cause for complaint.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1900-11-01
Rev. NJ L. Smyser Dead.

On Saturday evening Rev. M. l..
Smyser, presiding elder ofthe Altoona
district OF the Central Pennsylvania
Methodist Conference left his home at
Bellefonte to attend an Epworth
League convention in Altoona.
In the evening he preached in the
Eighth Avenue church. He went to
bed shortly afterwards and Monday
morning was found dead in bed. He
was 90 years of age.
Rev. Smyser was appointed to the
pastorate of the Bloomsburg Method
ist Episcopal church in 1877, and
served two years. In 1879 he was
transferred by the conference to Ber-
wick where he remained for two years
at the end of which he was made pre-
siding elder of the Danville District.
He was an earnest worker for the
cause of God, and was admired and
loved by all who knew him. A wife,
two daughters and one son survive.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1900-11-01

Tile Democratic maj0rity in Ms
county aoiW be at least s5oo.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1900-11-01
DEMOCRACY
Was in Evidence at the Court
House Tuesday Evening
The Spacious Court
Room Packed to
the Doors.
The Issues Discussed by Hon.
lanes Stranahan.

Though sufficiently spacious for all
ordinary purposes, and plenty large
enough for the purpose tor which it
was intended, the Court loom was far
inadequate to accommodate, with
even standing room, the crowd that
sought admittance Tuesday evening
to hear Hon. James Stranahan, of
Harrisburg, discuss the issues con-
fronting the people in the present
campaign. 1t was truly Democratic
night. The street was crowded with
them. They came from various Sec
tions of the county.
The Buckhorn Band arrived about
seven o'clock, followed by goodly
procession of vehicles. A little later
the Bloomsbury Band made its ap.
pearance on the street, and as the two
organizations lined up in front of the
Court House the march for admit
ance began. The supply of seats was
soon exhausted and the isles, too, were
crowded to the doors, while many were
unable to get to the top of the steps.
The meeting was called to order by
County Chairman c. A. Small. B. F..
Zarr Esq, was elected chairman, and
J.. X. Bttenbender and Harry Fine
secretaries, and the following gentle
men named as vice presidents:
Hon. James I. Fox, Lincoln H.
Body, A, B. Black, c. w. Snyder,
John Knies, J. S. Williams, Andrew
Evans, c. T. Vandershce, John Tracy,
James MacEwan, John G.. Freeze Esq.
George w. Sterner, Paul Harman,
Charles Savage, VIM. Hartzel, DR.. J.
c. Rutter, Harry Derr, w. C. John
son Esq, w. A. Evert Esq, c. M.
Terwllllger, l. J. Hess, VIM. Yost,
Robt. Buckingham, Freeze Quich, T..
T. Freeze, Peter Jones, Harvey Gig
er, Warner Mifflin, John Welliver, J.
G.. Harman Esq, J. B. Robson, w.
H. Fisher, VIM. Krickbaum, M. L.
Hennessy, DR.. T. c. Harter, c. A.
Klein, w. H. Henrie, w. w. Black,
J. c. Rutter Jr. and E. F. McCabe.
Before introducing the speaker Mr..
Zarr spoke for few minutes. He
touched upon the most important is
sues of the campaign. His remarks
were we'll received and he was loudly
applauded.
Hon. James Stranahan of Harris
burg, was then introduced. He was
cool, collected, and talked easily and
freely. He pointed out the many
flaws IN the Republican system of
government, and with convincing
arguments he showed the incomptency
and incapacity of that party. Not an
issue was left untouched. The speak
er gave considerable time to the plea
of prosperity and pointed to the great
coal strike. as evidence that the Re.
publicans are endeavoring to fool the
voters. If prosperity really exists to
such an extent as claimed by Re-
publican orators it is certainly thinly
spread, as nowhere can it be seen.
When he concluded he was loudly
Cheered.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1900-11-01
Y M. O. A. Evening Glasses.

On Monday evening of each week,
beginning promptly at 1880, the follow
ing branches are being taught under
'he direction of Prof. Samuel Purse:
spelling, reading, arithmetic, and
grammer.
On Thursday evenings book-keep-
ing viii be taught by Prof. Derr.
a number of young men have en-
rolled and are availing themselves of
shese privileges, but there is yet room
.o' many more. Any desiring to JOIN
,nese classes are invited to call at the
T. NJ c. A. Office for particulars,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1900-11-01
DRANK POISONED TEA.
An Attempt Made TO Take Human Life
Without Any Apparent Motive.

A diabolical attempt to take the
life Of Emanuel Hummel was made
by an unknown party, or parties,
Tuesday night, or early Wednesday
morning. Mr.. Hummel is employed
as night watchman at the Magee Car
pet Works. About half-past one
O'Clock he turned down the lights and
started on his rounds to see that ev.
erythng was all right. Returning, he
found the lights turned on and burn
ing brightly. 1t aroused his suspicion
for a moment, bur little thinking that
anything was wrong, he sat down to
eat lunch. He took few swallows
OF tea, but the application of the bev-
erage to his tongue revealed a pecul.
lar sweetsh taste, and he threw the
remainder away. He then started
for his home, on North Iron street.
Scarcely had he arrived until he was
taken violently i'll. The family physi-
clan. Dr. J. c. Rutter, was hastily
summoned, and to his quick response
MIR Hummel probably owes his life.
An emeuc was administered, and the
patient was soon out OF danger.
1t is evident that the purpose of
the base act was to poison Mr.. Hum
mel, but it was impossible to deter
nine what kind OF poison had been
employed, as he had drained the can
and there was none of the liquid lett
to analyze.