The age-herald., 1900-10-01
SKETCHES FROM
 EVERYDAY LIFE

OOH huOns IdQ d QlNOrCe. What was your wife's name?" Sue"
 "Did she sue you or you sue herr" "She sued me-"
 "Who got the divorce?"
 1.-The lawyer"
 Did the decree allow you to marry again?'
 "Sir?"
 ''Well, reckon he's all right Give him a license.'
 Two street gamins were playing in the sand left by the workmen engaged in paw ing Second avenue. One of the boys in the ebullition of youthful spirits seized handful of sand, poured it down the oth- CTS back and ran. The other boy had stumped toe and couldn't run, so in true prize fighters style he took it out in talk. You're a thief!' he yelled, as the runner disappeared down the street
 You're a paper thiefv'
 "A dog thiefr'
 "A hog thief"
 "A banana thief.
 "A goober thiefn'
 Then in one final burst of vituperation: "All sorts of 8 thief!''
 
 The street gamin never ceases to be in- teresting He knows everything and can do anything, from smoking cigarette butt at the age of five to turning backward summersault at the age of ten. The gamin in the South is usually "coon' and not possessed of the same degree of wit as his French or English prototype. Victor Hugos Gavroche is the ideal of the French gamin. He passes along the gutter and splashes the polished boots of passer by.
 "Scoundrel," exclaims the gentleman, ferociousIy.
 Have you a complaint to make, sir?', answers Gavroche.
 "Yes; of you" says the gentleman. "The office is closed" remarks Gavroche. T receive no more complaints today"
 
 The Birmingham gamin is ostensibly a bootblack. This keeps him from being ar- rested as a vagrant One or two "shines'' day will keep him rich. It is impossible to walk the streets without hearing the con- tinuous cry of Shine? shine?" and having a deriding finger pointed at your boots. There is something peculiarly irritating in this, something particularly offensive in be- ing pointed at. It is bad enough to have guilty conscience and know that your boots need polishing, but to have the attention of the public called to 1t by these persistent shoe-shiners is intoerable.
 The only way to get rid of them is to throw a cigarette butt In the crowd in the hope that some of them will get killed in fighting over it. What has become of the cigarette girl, or rather the pictures of her which every cigarette package used to contain? Is this a fad which has passed away to return no more, along with the cigarette button, or is this but an evidence of the stinginess of the trust? Everything is getting stingy nowadays. The free lunch counter is on the wane, where it has not entirely passed away. There used to be time when maps were made of the free-lunch routes, and gentleman could travel at his leisure nickel or two day. But now all is changed. and the tourist who relies on the free-lunch counter had better stay at home and buy his groceries on credit.
 Extract from Answers to Correspondents: ''When I go to sleep at night I have hor- rible dreams. What must do?"
 'Sleep In the day time."-Ex,
 
 When 1t comes to getting married, per- haps just as good way as any is to stand on street corner, watch the women go by, and when one comes along whose ap- pearance is preposessing and who seems otherwise to be the right one, step forward and politely and deferentially ask her to marry you. This, if the girl acquiesces, saves world of trouble. Something quite similar happened recently in Illinois. A pastor of church was unmarried, and found that this fact was handicap in his church work. The married women could not take him into their confidence and the unmarried women were too shy, thinking that any show of interest in the minister would be construed as being too bold Some of the elders in the church notising this, suggested to the minister that he get mar ried. Barkis was willing, so a brother clergyman to whom he made known his dilemma invited him to his house and in- troduced him to several young ladies. In less than two days the minister was en- gagged and shortly after married. The ad- vantage in marrying in this way is that the groom always gets an account of it published free of charge, while the bride
 
 
 man recently went into barroom to take a drink He had a red beard that reached to his waist. It was the pride of his life. It had taken 43 years to grow It. He would have left it at home when he went travelling if it had been possible. It was also matter of economy to him. He did not have to buy collars or cravats. He took drink, when some men who were standing by asked him to treat them He refused and one of them reached for ward with razor and cut off his beard. The man was arrested for doing business as a barber without license and fined ten dollars. The hairy man left for home to grow another beard. The only thing that worried him on account of Its loss was the fear that his dogs would not recognize him when he got back.
 "There Is one thing will never get recon ciled to-" said a man recently. "and that