davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening journal., 1900-04-09
Humnn Nature.

Il can't understand Jenkins When
my salary was raised from S15 to $40,
he was the first to pat me on the back
and congratulate me-"
"Wellp
'Now that I'm getting $50 he hardly
speaks 10 me-"
''Well, you know jenkins is stlll get
ting Philadelphia Press
Evening journal., 1900-04-09
they Pay the Rent.

"rhere Is" says a traveller, "a stock
saying which they have at Queens
town, Ireland II is there the steamers
pick up the mails, which can leave
London - hours later than the boats
do Liverpool and overtake them there.
Frequently, however, delays occur, and
then the passengers kill time by going
ashore, and the native is always in
wait to sell them shillalahs and other
things. such as bog oak jewelry, canes,
etc, which are supposedly Indigenous
to and characteristic OF Ireland.
"Some Of the shillalahs are wonder
full and awful to look upon and have
no possible place in real life, their only
object being to take In the unwary
transatlantic traveller. One l saw there
had a head fully six inches in diam
eter with projecting knobs and roots
thickly covering 1t. 1t was so heavy
that to lift it was an effort and to car
ry It any distance without using a dray
a physical impossibllity. 1t was a
murderous looking weapon, and blow
from It on the head would have done
for s1y living thing, even darky from
Georgia.
"'Why,' l asked in my surprise,
what on earth do you use this forr
"'ThatY he rejoined. 'Arrah, that's
what we pay the rint with
1--WE got it yet."-New York Trib-
una
Evening journal., 1900-04-09
snnnIcIonn Arnuned.

Smith-Whats wrong. old man? You
look worried.
Jones-I am. You know I had my
life insured last week?
Smith-Yes. but what has that got to
do with II?
Jones-Well. the very next day my
wife bought a new cookbook. Pos
sibly it's all right. but it certainly looks
suspicious.-Chicag News.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09
Experlence.

Stage Manager-You say you have
had some stage experlencef
Miss CUSHION. yes. indeed! | took
the leading part in our church cantata
at home once, and-well, to tell you
the truth, everybody said l just played
my part too lovely for anything.--Co-
lumbus (O) State Journal
Evening journal., 1900-04-09
Caution. Procedure.

Colonel, IL you called a mann nar,
you would surely expect a fight. would
you not?" asked the stranger from the
north.
"No, sah," replied the colonel I'VE
don't call man liah down heah until
we have shot him fust. sab, so full OF
holes that there is nofght in-him. .aah.D
indianapolis Press.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09

According TO The Hawaiian Gazette.
there are ordinarily from 30 to 40 vari-
eties OF fish in the Honolulu market A
large percentage Of the natives make
their living by fishing.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09

A nations Gag represents its xover-
eighty aud is prominently displayed In
all army and navy battles. To strike
the fiag' is follower the national col
ors in token Of submission to. the op-
posing forces.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09
Amonr the PouItrr.

"Good morning. How do you do this
morning?" said the duck. meeting the
hen.
None of your business" replied the
hen. You are no doctor"
"Quackw squawked the duck angri-
ly.
That's what l said" cackled the
hen.-Detroit Free Press.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09

So Debs, too. has been nominated by
something or other for president. n
there is anybody who has not received
one of these nominations yet, let him
come forward. There are still few
Courier Journal.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09

In ages gene by there were snakes
In Colorado perhaps 100 feet in length. F"
The proximity of these prehistoric
monsters may account for the fearful
diligence of Westerners in hunting the
Octopus Journal.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09
WHAT DO you WANT

Advertise your wants IN the Evening
Journal. Employment wanted help
wanted. to let. for rant, for sale. board
ing. and lost and found ads. win be pub
llshed. three lines. one time. for a dime
thres times for a quarter
Evening journal., 1900-04-09
WHAT no YOu wANrf

Advertise your wants tu the Dvenang
Journal. Employment wante0. help
wanted. to let. for rent. for sale. board
ina, and lost and found ads. win be pub
lished, three lines. one tinaa. for . dime
thr@s tines Tor = ouAreee.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09
WHAT DO You wANTf

Advsrtise your wants IN the Bvening
Journal. Employment wanted. help
wanted. to let. for rent. for sale. board
ng. and lost and found ads. will be pub
hshed. three lines. one timc. for q dime;
,hFAs times for quarter.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09
wHAr 20 You wANrr

Advertise your wants IN the Evening
Journal Employment wanted. help
wanted, 10 let. for rent, for sale, board
Ing. and lost and found ads. will be pub
lished. three lines. one time. Tor a dimei
thrss timss Tor = uuarper
Evening journal., 1900-04-09

The democratic party is sitting up
nights to love the Constitution. Some
Of it's members, however, wouldn't
recognize the instrument if it came to
them as campaign document.--ln-
dianapolis. Journal. gt-ll
Evening journal., 1900-04-09
Less, sometfme~,:

We don't want to SAY anything
against the girls. but when sbue gets
married nowadays itl doesnstsseem to
make any more, houseWprk for the
mother than shejhad. before her daugh-
ter's departure-Atchisons Globe.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09

Each day in the year the owners Of
slot machines In New York city pur-
chase 1000 pounds Of chocolate with
which to fill the machines.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09
Hin Own.

Ostend (reading a book of poems)-
Pa. when was the romantic age?
pa-When / was 20. Ostand-Chi.
cago News.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09

A "conJuress" in India says she can
change from woman to man and back
again at will.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09

In the coaching days II cost from f5
TO &c to go from York to London.
Evening journal., 1900-04-09

There are no microbes on the Swiss
mountains at an altitude OF 1000 feet.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30

Trains direct TO track leave Sixth Street
Station at 1 aud 100 p. m
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30
<t,-.Isticn statemen-.
The British Tariff.

AS readers of The Times viii have learn
I'd from our news columns today, it is
stated on the authority Of a cablegTam
from the editor of the London Mail" that
the British Government contemplates piac-
ing a blanket customs duty of ten per
cent On all manufactured goods, This rad
zeal departure from the principle Of free
trade which has been held almost sacred
by a majority OF Englishmen for the bet-
ter part OF a CENTURY, viii be ascribed to
an Imperative necessity for extraordinary
revenue s7ue 70 the cost of the South afri-
can y7ar II TACT. however. 1t may be also
Ial.eTl as an aPportune movement on the
part Of the Conservative leaders, in the
direction OF al attempt to stem the tide
Of foreign, especially German and Ameri-
can, competition with British manufacture
ers in their ho.le markets
It's stated that President Mckinley is
eratified to think that the Government Of
his ally is about to adopt the system
with which his public career has been so
intima teIy identified No doubt he feels
That Imitation is the sIneerest hattery.'
Just how far the imposition of the pro-
posed tax may effect American trade with
the United Kingdom it is as yet too early
TO say. Experts WAC were consulted yes
terday seemed to think that the tax
would not amount to more than two and
a half millions per annum on our manu-
features, the bulk of cur exports to Grsat
Britain being IL the condition of raw
material Germany, it was said, would
suffer most of any country under the new
arrangement
As far as manufacturers in the United
States are concerned, We are unable at
present to see where they viii be partieu-
Iarly hurt Our own tariff wall is so high,
and our home market so extensive that it
SHOULD be easy 10 add the British tariff to
the price of goods sold in this country, and
thus, "a the expense e the American con-
sumner. provide 4 fund more than sufficient
20 carry on the war Of competition in
John Bulls territory. In some instances
The Dingley Tariff may not be high enough
10 make this course altogether safe. In
which case a Republican Congress can be
relied upon to afford relief. by adding the
equivalent of the British exactiou to pres
ent protection. Il VIII be Interesting to
hear from Germany On this sensational sub
5scf
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30

The british Disaster at DewetssiOrp.
Lord Salisbury has exercised wise pru-
| dence in postponing notice to the Powers
that Great Britain has annexed the South
African Republics. If BE had advertised
the alleged fact. the news of today might
be embarrassing to has Government. While
the Boers have organized forces IN the
field sufficiently strong to capture garri-
soned towns Ike Dewetzdorp, and carry
their defenders away as prisoners. 1t would
seem premature to assume that the war is
OVER and that all hostile operations OF the
part OF the burgl1ers save by guerrilla bands
have ceased.
-Four hundred men and few guns are
not much 70 lose under battle conditions
incident 20 a war Of respectable proper
tions. But, when the struggle is arnoune-
ed as ended, and nothing remains to be
accomplished but pacidcation in ACCORDANCE
with the scientific methods Of the Spanish
General NeyIer, l. sounds odd 10 hear that
a body of Beers under General De Vet.
believed by Lord Roberts to number TWEEN
ty-fve hundred men, has swooped down
On a British fortified post. and cleaned up
its garrison.
As We yentured 10 remark the other day.
even a small victory OF two to the credit
of the South African Dutch would 20
long way toward convincing Europe that
mediation CT something OF shat sort ought
TO be suggested 10 Great Britain. The
chances are that this Dewetsdorp disas-
ter VIII not=onIy affect the worlds opiaioa
in that direction. but wiz tend dangerous
II 10 bring the spirit OF rebellion in Cape
Colony 10 q head. Should the threatened
outbreak occur. and be met By the iTHpe-
rial authorities in their usual mercfless
manner. there can De no doubt whatever
that strong sentiment in favor Of inter-
vention would speedily develop on the 9th
er side of the Atlantic
As princes. potentates and powers
must have learned from recent experience.
there is a point IN the process of crushing
out the spirit of independence in a people
at which humanity revolts, and, as in the
| case Of Spain. sometimes does 50 with
/ force and arms The Beers have clearly
demonstrated the truth OF President Kyu-
gers declaration that the war is not
over. It might be well for England to
agree to that proposition and 10 consider
terms more merciful than those of uncon-
ditional surrender. to which she has con-
fined her offers. If the work OF devas-
tation and brutality TO women and chill
dren is allowed to so on much longer
in South Africa, It IS doubtful if the pres
sure of public opinion in favor Of inter
ference can be resisted by several lead
ing States not nov DESTROYS of trouble
with the British nation. IN suggesting
this idea, we have no thought Of incIud-
ing our own people ard Government The
Administration may feel compelled to
weyIerize the Philippines, and on that ae-
count We should think twice before heay-
ing rocks at our cousins
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30
Life in the VESTS Me4ropaii-
lFrom lie Clliease NeWs

@ Tom Nc IlIlIaea- NeNs-3
The nar=9sv zone OF security appears to be
steadily contracting n Ciiicago Tie tf1Ie nav
be at hand wien IL citizen VIII be safe U 20
yesterday IL looked IS though one invioIab-e
refuge remained The respectable citizen might
expect TO be held Un bHFgizFized II any me-
HeRt and N any place B5It 4 c.lrei.;l weighing
OF the evidence gave srot4pd ior the belief thar
II man turned thug ne was secure. Scrta;Iliy
there was 10 reason = suppose that he had any
thing n particular 10 fear from The police
and It was taken foF granted THAI. IL ne WnS
Tobber. he would not nc robbed. But eFea this
last sanctuary las been Invaded South CHI
eago maH told the court that he w.s fairly IN
vited 10 turn highgr3yuJB and that even wife
he see;rcfi 10 lCIid favorable consideration 10
the proposition ne rGthessIy robbed b.
singular coincidence another citizen a. abots the
sane hour, VAS rohesi by = hfghNsvTaIa IN
police guise.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30

The distinguished and versatile Prince
Tuan has Just received an accession TO
the forces with which he IS preparing
to renew the Chinese war on foreign
devils" Ten thousand of General Tuug
FCh Siang's troops have joined the Prince,
to whom. also. six rapid-fre guns have
been sent Arrangements for winter
campaign seem to be wel advanced. ana Il
is not improbable that the FIoWery King
dom may become again 4 source OF sen
sationaI news
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30
EngIand,s oldest Cattle Fair.


u
St Lnke's fair held at Bridgnorth. enioys the
distinction Of bring the oideSl statute cattle fair
IN England. On September Z. t26, King Henry
III granted . charter for holding this fair on
October ., and two following DAYS and until
the reign Of George III CIS20} il Va> eglstomary
to proclaim the iair by procession Of the
bailiffs clergy, alderman and corporation II their
robes and K5fa tie official Tegslia- NeWadays
the pleasure part OF 4he fixture IS limited te 2
roundabout. few swings and c0euanut sheets
but people feck int, ti5e old baro,ssh fro.s4 tc
surrounding villages This wear. in lie smith
under the hammer
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30

the hands of the President which might
lin some future Administration, of course
prove of questionable public policy
Heads of staff departments make oon-
tracts involving heavy Governmental ex-
penditure. With saeh club over their
heads, they might be coerced into doing
things which il is possible some officers
might hesitate to do The power to sus-
pend them by one executive order, and
then to retire them by another. concefy-
ably might be abused. Still its posses
sion by the Commander-in-C Chief would be
quite in6ltne with the tendency toward
executive instead of representative Gov
eminent, and. as that is manifestly pop
ular tendency. as illustrated in the late
Presidential election, there would seem
to be no reasonable ground for objection
to the proposition
The Root bill is not unlike the one pre-
pared by Mr. Hull. Chairman Of the
House Military Committee. the differences
being Of minor importance. IN fact. all
of the measures so far presented are near
Iy enough alike in a general way to sug-
gest that their friends and advocates
should have little difficulty in coming to-
gether and agreeing upon a bill which
can be passed quickly Current conditions
demand that some law for the reorgani-
cation Of the Army should be on tie stat
ute books before the end of the Fifty
sixth Congress.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30

In & despatch to his journal, referring
% the terrible typhoon at Guam. il which
one OF our auxiliary cruisers was lost. and
TO official remarks on Ire subject. the
Washington correspondent Of the New
York Tribune says IT IS regarded as
highly improbable that any officer has
been lost, and perhaps she destruction of
the Yosemite without large loss OF life
may prove TO be a blessing in Disguise
What does this mean Was the Yosemite a
vessel OF the Merrimac sort and therefore
a menace to somebody as long as she was
afoat2
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30
Honor1 COR wninc.
iFgon. lie Esaaellee Joarasi.

(Erorss he k-sflef5ct Journal
Tie reetine u In Na5ianai TRANCE IN Port
land nexT yen isat t!ie only honor that ttis
great body 5 likelF &c do esIr Siate IN 1901.
It seems 70 be conceded ilat State Master
Obediah Gardner OF Maine moss tSvcaseer % the
National Grange. viii be promoted ~ the masters
chair. position HAT he j sell Bttsd To grace
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30
10 Good En- Emergencier.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.l
These trousers are no good, : said the Chicago
man
+<Aad Why not2'' enquired the suave tailor.
->Because,' cried the Chicago man IN tone of
intense sarcasm you have actually gone and put
tans on he pistol poekets.o
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30
ostraeise Him.

From the SunlsIerviIle Jo,unaI)
First verkinernan Holder Is going to be mar
ned.
Second WorAileTnan-We I don't care.
First Werkingnan-D Don't YOU though. Hes
going to marry working girl, and she doesn't
belong 20 the union
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30
No Loss to the Dentist.

Patient-cfeat Scott doctor, I've swallowed
some OF that gold yeu are plugging my teeth
with
Deniist-Th3nk you Tor mentioning It I shall
include il in ny bill
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30
Good Reason why.

(From the indianapolis Jorrnal.)
'-AdeliRe and haven't spoken since last win
ter
What the msttfT2''
Why, she got i coat for so exactly like the
one paid So for.'
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30
CURRENT HUMoR.
Inclined to BE skepticaI.

fFronl Inc FhIladefphIa Press-l
1llIuliey -TTottsr brought home some very in
tcresting things from abroad. He's got a beautiful
marble tic that ne found at HeTculaneum.
Duns!ey-C Come off! You don Z mean TO say he's
wearing marble tile?
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30
IN THE HOTEL CORRIDORS.

The street car service in your city is
almost all that could be desired. saiaS
George a. Morgan, of Columbus. Ohio, at
the National this morning. but there is
one improvement that could be made, ani
I think it would be appreciated by the
travelling public. and that is for the
street railroad companies to Instruct
their conductors to call out the names of
the streets. I was impressed with this
last evening while in a Pennsylvania Ave
nue. car when at least a dozen passengers
enquired of the conductor the name of the
next street. 1 know such an order as
calling out the names of the streets
would be, perhaps. an additional hard
ship on the conductor, but then it would
prove of great eonvience to the passen-
gers. especially strangers visiting the
Capital of the Nation"
Hon. Pedro Parea. the delegate from
New Mexico. is at the Shoreham He is
accompanied by his wife. Delegate Parea
does not expect the House to act OF his
bill 10 admit New Mexico to Statehood at
the coming session of Congress, because
Of other important matters, which will be
pressed during the short session He
feels confident. however. that the next
Congress viii pass his bill, admitting
New Mexico to the Union.
R. B. Montgomery, of Milwaukee. is stop
ping at ChamberIin's He is here to look
after the interests of the brewers who
want Congress to reduce the tax on beer
The tax is too high said Mr..
Montgomery. THE tax was increased for
war revenue purposes, and now that peace
is restored the tax should be reduced TO
what 1t formerly was. 81 per barrel Beer
is now national drink. the same as it is
in Germany It is the poor mans beyer-
age The brewers did not complain when
the increased tax was placed on them and
they aid not make the. retail dealers pay
the amount Of tho increased tax as many
people imagined. II the Republicans are
sincere and want to repeal some of the
war taxes they viii reduce the tax on beer
instead Of taking it off of bank checks AMI
kilograms and express companies Th3
brewers have every reason TO believe that
they Will get some relief from Congress at
the coming session
Il have always advocated the building
of the Nicaragua Canal" remarked T B.
Cutting Of Detroit. at the Raleigh. this
morning. because 1 believe in the expan-
sion Of our trade. but unless the United
States can have absolute 1AatroI OF the
canal and can fortify it then I do not want
10 see it built. The Hay-Pauncefote Urea
y is Z clever British scheme the object
OF which is &c nullify the Monroe Doctrine.
ard the ratification of the treaty wouII
defeat the Nicaragua Canal bill for which
Senator Morgan has so long Iabored The
american people VIII never consent TO be
taxed 20 build the canal unless Uncle Sam
has absolute ownership of it,
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1900-11-30
81 snrc Cure.

fl7rosa The Cleveland Plaia s5csier.i
They ,lug1t to Try Ike chinese cure iog sueled
head on hat t0nceitcst BiRGtri'i5rIs.
whats tia Cn5ns.se cuFSs
-.TY,a $50
Evening star., 1900-06-30
U. v. U. ENCAMPMENT.
Committee of Arrangements Appoint
ed by COmmissiOner MacfarIand.

Committee of Arrangements Appoint
ed by Commissioner MacfarIand.
Preparations for the national encamp-
ment of the Union Veterans Union were
actively begun last evening, when a meet
ing of citizens was held in National Rifles
Hall. The gathering was the result Of a
call from the District Commissioners and
the president of the board, Mr. Henry B.
F. Macfarland, presided. The encampment
will be held in this city in October next.
Mr.. Macfarland addressed few appropri-
ate remarks in calling the meeting to or
der and told of the invitation extended the
veterans. committee of fifteen was
named to direct the arrangements for the
encampment and the entertainment of the
thousands Of guests who will be in WASH
ington at that time. subcommittee will be
appointed later. The personnel of the body
of fifteen Is as follows: Commissioner
Macfarland, Gen. A. M Legg, Mr.. John
Joy Edison, Mr.: W. T. Knox, Gen. George
H. Harries, Mr.. W. v. Cox, Mr.. c. V.
Pettys, Mr.. John Middleton, DR.. Frank T.
Mr.. o. G. Staples, Mr.. 1lyron NJ Parker,
Mr.. c. ]. Bell and Mr.. William o. Rooms.
During the evening Gen. r. G. Dyren-
forth, commander-in-chief Of the U. v. u,
made a brief address. in which he stated
he was receiving from forty to a hundred
letters a day from all parts of the country
telling of the coming of large parties of
members of the organization, their families
and friends. Gen. S. s. Yoder also spoke,
and Commissioner Macfarland closed with
an assurance of Washington's hospitality.
Evening star., 1900-06-30

planters. AS to our people working the crop
themselves l doubt whether they can do so
successfully in this climate. AS for me, l
grow tired very quickly, and 1 find that
most Americans must keep in out Of the
sun during great part of the day.
The Question of Titles.
AS to the prices of hemp lands, this de-
pends largely upon the location, the owners
and the title. In Mndanao the most of the
lands still belong to the government, only
a strip here and there about the coast being
under cultivation. In the province of Da-
vac, which is bigger than New Jersey, there
is not, / venture, as much cultivated land
as you will find in any one of Ohio'S eighty
eight counties. The rest all belongs to the
United States government. There are gov
ernment lands on others of the islands, and
among them wild lands. which could be
cleared for hemp.
The most serious question as to all lands,
however. is that of titles. 1 had a chat at
Zamboanga with Maj. Morrison. the judge
advocate, who has beer looking into such
matters. He tells me that in the fight
which the insurrectos of Mindanao had with
the Spaniards all the records were de-
stroyed before the Americans came, and
that the evidences of title in most cases
have been lost. He says, however. that all
notaries were required to report the deeds
they executed to Manila. and that from the
Manila records many OF the disputed titles
can be established. l find that the records
have been destroyed in the Island of Panay
and in other places, and The vice presidente
here tells me that but little of the land in
this part of Mndanao is legally owned
Even in the town of p1vao the most of the
people are but squatters. The Spaniards
did not question their rights as long they
paid the taxes, and it has been the same
with lands taken up in the country. 1t is
a question who really owns the big hemp
plantation which 1 visited. l am told that
the Chinese merchants have in the past few
months been laying claim to everything in
their reach at Cottabato and other places,
so that much OF the land now supposed to
have proprietors viii need to go into the
courts before its ownership can be definitely
established. FRANK G. CARPENTER.