davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
Day Of Thanksgiving.

The deepest note of Christmas is
thanksgiving. The angels sang its first
Te Deum for all men to learn. And our
Christmas prayer shall be: Give us
day by day this days doxology; teach
our common lives 10 sing 'Glory 20
God. ~. II. Darlow,
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
Couldn't Rely on Him.

"He's most unreliable man" she as
serted.
"Why do you say that?" asked her
dearest friend.
"He asked me to marry him, and ]
said: No. and the mean thing never
asked me again."-Chicago Post.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
No Choice.

Mr.. P. Lugugly-AIiss Jones said last
night that l was "two-faced." Do you
think so, Miss Sharp?
Miss Sharp know you are not, Mr.
Lugugly. If you were you would al
ways wear your other face, I'm sure
Memphis Scmitar.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
His SDecinlty.

Mr.. Hix-Anyway, you can't ac-
cuse me of contracting bad habits.
Mrs. Hix-No, indeed! You in.
variably expand them.-Chicago Daily
News,
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
One Enough.

Friend-Got lawyer?
Prisoner-One.
Friend-Why don't yer git two?
Prisoner amt guilty 'nough fer
that.-N. Y. Weekly.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
Tho Tent NJ Mnuuars

"What well-bred girl Miss Pop
per is.'
"Yes, she is, and she'd act like a
lady if she was clerking at three dol
lars q week. Indianapolis Journal
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
Tn to Date,

Enterprising Advertiser - Pardon
me, sir but l heard you tell the gentle
man who just left that you "would
wash your hands of the whole affair"
'Well?"
"tn case you do may hope that you
will try my patent soap"-N' Y
Weekly.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
A Hint for simpkins.

Mr.. Simpkins-Give me kiss, Bobby,
and run up and tell your sister Jenny
have brought her box of chocolate
Bobby-Oh! When DR.. Dashing calls
he always gives the sweets TO me and
the kiss TO Jenny.-Tit-Bits
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
The Harvesters.

The youth who sows wild oats, 'tis true,
Must reap as he hath sown;
But then his father ought to do
Some thrashlng of his own.
-Philadelnhia Press.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21

Jobson-I have a claim against the
government. What lawyer would you
advise me to retain?
Friend-It doesn't matter whom you
select, only so he's young.-N. Y.
Weekly.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
Takes His Pen in Hand.

Her right name is Penelope,
But "Pen" she Is TO some;
And often, when the gas is low,
A Pen-holder l become.
Puck.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
worth Something.

Brooks-Your time isn't worth
much, is it?
Hawkins-Well, fellow just let
me have ten dollars for two days
Town Topics.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21

Mrs. Gotham-The paper says an In
diana state board is trying to prevent
the marriage of idiots.
Mr.. Gotham-What nonsense! They
soon get over it.--N. Y. Weekly.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
AccnnnfeI Enr

Blinks-Mr. and Mrs. Titwlllow seem
to get along amicably.
Peterby-Yes; Titwillow is pcace-
at-any-price Brooklyn Eagle.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21

"Lester, dear" said Mrs. Giddings,
anxiously, to her husband, 81 don't
like that cough of yours"
"1'm sorry replied Giddings, "but
it is the best ] have" e."-Tit-Bits
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21

"A No I've tramped d
"a ~SA4c//U/ through m l 6
WT12I///////T and miles and
I've handled gloves and ties and trash
galore.
The girls are all disposed of-any stun
That looks expensive's always good
enough
But you men, who grow humorous a. a tie
And mock us for the poor cigars we buy,
(This wisdom isn't crlbbed from out the
pater's-
For my enlightenment, see comic papers)
You Know smoking cap would make you
mad;
Please, is there anything you haven't had
Just mention any trife you prefer
What is It that you want for Christmas, sir
And will bless you with my latest breath
Most cordially. your friend,
Elizabeth"
Dear Girl" he wrote,
I'm sorry that you're harassed,
Although you've made me frightfully EN-
barrassed.
Each Christmas of my life I've been Sc
haunted
BY all the awful things haven't wanted,
l hardly can believe the tale is true
lHdt III at idst 10 nave tnlnB, 40.
In fact. your letter really seems to say.
You are to dictate. ] am to obey.
So poor, rash child, no longer demur;
These are the little trifes prefer;
lmprlmus them Two certain eyes of blue
That tell unbid the hidden thoughts OF you
Second: Your strong. young hands aler
to lend
Their tender strength to help and hold {
friend;
And third: That laugh Of yours that ring
as gay
AS happy bells upon a holiday;
And fourth: Your sweetness, tender
ness and truth,
The glory and the gladness of you
youth.
Dear little Madam Santa Claus, line
To tell me II this present may be mine.
oh, child be generous this Christina
day,
And your petitioner will ever pray
The right to sign himself, with swee
intent,
Always your grateful. glad
Recipient"
-Theodosia Pickering Garrison, In N. Y
Life.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
hu it we
Republican

Gilson-I understand that Gilchrist's
wife has left him.
Willets-Is that so? What was the
trouble?
Gil .n-She asked him what he was
going to give her for a Christmas pres
ent
Willets-Yes?
Gilson--He said he had decided to let
her get her teeth fixed.-N. Y. Press.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21

"Ah! Marriage is like lotteryw
"Yes; like a church lottery! When
you do get prize it doesn't amount
IN muchl"-Puck.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
Way on.

He-A fortune teller told me yester.
day that | would marry you.
She-Why didn't you pay little
more and 90 to good one ?--Puck.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21

"Why do you say he is man OF i'm.
patience, fortitude and endurance?"
Because he has endured his own So
ciety all these years."--Chicago Post.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21

They talk of old romantic days
when, through the shining dew, the
mikmaid sped across the mead. Well,
here's some milk made, too. - Chi
caro- Daily News,
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21
The Only Way.

Flatte-I thought I'd practice on
my cornet last evening, but to save
me couldn't get the right pitch on
it.
Bratte-Couldn' you get the wins
dow open?
"What's the window got to do with
it?"
"Well, the right pitch would have
been through that" = Philadelphia
Record
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1900-12-21

Father-Do you use thermometer
when you give him his bath?
Nurse-Sure Oh do not. If tn baby
turns blue, Oi know tn waters too
cold, and If he turns red Oi know it's
too hot.-Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
Extreme Afrectation.

A young man whose battered suit
case was red and pink and yellow with
the labels of European hotels boarded
street car and said to the conductors:
ST 60 six blocks. How much?"
"Oh, only a nickel" the conductor
answered. But the young man hand
ed over Is cents. saying, Buy yourself
a glass of beer and cigar on me.
The conductor gave thanks for the
tip and added. "Just back from Eu-
rope, hey?" And to his interrogation
the young man nodded assent.
Ont on the back platform afterward
the conductor described the episode to
couple of passengers. HE asked me
what the fare was for six blocks" he
said, "and then he gave me tip. 1t
was case of fake Observation-Disclosures
He has just returned from Europe,
where you pay by the distance on the
street cars and where you tip the con-
ductors, and he pretended to forget he
wasn't in Europe still.
"He thought I'd question him about
his strange conduct, and | would have.
too, If the trick wasn't an old one to
me. Here and in New York. especially
| in New York, you are constantly run
ming up against people who forget and
work European customs on you. They
| do it so you'll know they have been
abroad."-Philadelph Record.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
An old Time English Election.


The only contest which occurred at
Cation within historic memory was
curious enough. Sir Mark Wood, who
had been one Of its members for sever
al years, had as his colleague in the
parliament of 1912 Sir William Con-
greve. the inventor of the famous Con
grove rocket" The latter resigned in
1916. and the baronet wished his own
son to fill the vacancy.
There were only three voters in the
constituency. Sir Mark. his son and his
butler. named Jennings. but as the son
was away and the butler had quarreled
with his master an opportunity was af-
forded for singular revenge. Jen-
nings refused to second Sir Marks
nomination of his son and proposed
himself. and a deadlock was averted
only by Sir Mark coming to terms with
the refractory butler. whose nominal
tion he seconded in order to induce him
to act as seconder to his son.
Matters being thus put formally in
train. Sir Mark arranged with .Jen-
Mugs that the formers vote should be
alone given, and the final state of the
poll at Cations only known contest
stood thus: Wood fTory), L; Jennings
(Whig), O.-Westminster Gazette.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
Settlers Excursion.

Commencing October 16 and contin-
uing each Tuesday thereafter to and
including November p, 1900 and on
Tuesday February l2,to April 81, 1901,
the Northern Pacific Railway Co.. will
run Service Settlers Excursions to all
points on it's lines in Minnesota, Man
itoba and North Dakota, Little Falls,
Aitkin and west thereof from st. Paul,
Minneapolis, Duluth and the super
iors, and from Chicago, ST. Louis and
the east.
These Settlers rates one way and
round trip will be reduction of from
twenty-five to forty per entbelow any
thing now offered the travelling public,
and it is confidently believed that
the road, the towns and country con-
tiguous thereto will be greatly bene-
flied. q. S. FEE G. r. A.
I ). w. Ward Local Agt. St. Paul.
Il
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
i i i
Just Saved HIS Life.

1t was thrilling escape that Charles
Davis Of Bowerston, o.. lately had from a
frighlful death. For two years severe
lung trouble constantly grew worse until it
seemed he must die of Consumption. Then
he began to use DR. Kings New Discovery
and lately wrote; ut gave instant relief
and effected permanent cure" Such
wonderful cures have for rs years, proven
its power to cure all throat, chest and lung
,tronbles. Price soc and 81 90. Every bot
tie guaranteed. Trial bottle free at Fiesler
& McNeiee's drug store.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
August Flower

cit is surprising fact," says Prof. Hou-
ton, that in my travels in all parts OF the
world, for the last ten years. | have met
more people having used GREEN'S August
Flower than any other remedy for dyspep-
STA, deranged liver and stomach, and for
constipation. find for tourists and sales
men, or for persons filing office positions,
where headaches and general bad feelings
from irregular habits exist, that Green's
August Flower Is grand remedy. 1t does
not injure the system by frequent use. and
is excellent for sour stomachs and indiges-
ton" Sample bottles free at Hanson &
Emerson.
Get Green's Prize Almanac.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
Brave Men Fall.

i Victims to stomach, liver and kidney
troubles as well as women, and all feel the
results in loss OF appetite, poisons in the
blood, backache, nervousness, headache and
tired, listless. rundown feeling. But there's
no need to feel like that. G.. W. Gardner,
of Idaville, Ind, says: Electric Bitters are
just the thing for man when he don't care
whether he liyesor dies. 1t gave me new
strength and good appetite. can now eat
anything and have new lease On life."
| Only so cents, at Fiesler & McNeice's
drug store. Every bottle guarantee.
z. B. Wood, attorney, went to st.
Cloud last Saturday morning and
transacted legal business. He return
ed to Sank Centre on the night train
and drove up here Sunday morning.
He went down to settle up the West
estate and made the settlement salts
factory to all the heirs. Todd county
Argus.
The property involved Is the L. L.
West estate residence and grounds in
this city.
4. + i
The mo effective little liver pills made
DeWitt's Little Early Risers. They never
grippe. Hanson & E merson.
= i. i.
"About five years ago was troubled with
catarrh OF the lower bowel" says c. T.
Chisholm, 484 Dearborn Ave-, Chicago, and
although consulted several eminent ply
sicians who prescribed for me, found their
remedies allied to in any way relieve me,
and the trouble almost became chronic.
After suffering several months, one day
concluded to try Chamberlain's Collie, Chol-
era and Dlarrhoea Remedy and beg to
assure you that was most agreeably sur
prised to find alter taking two doses of the
remedy that was completely relieved of
the disease that had cost me so much lrou-
BILE and annoyance. / am thankful to say
that have not suffered from it since"
For sale by Hanson & Emerson.
j. !. i.
Ia man with a cork leg calls on any
ofour lady readers representing him
self to be an agent of a fashion maga-
zine and offers years subscription
and silk waist for ST., they will be
one dollar ahead by having nothing
to do with him. He is fraud. He
carries no patterns, but has his GUS
toners select from samples. He gets
the dollars and his lady buyers get
left.-Long Prairie Leader.
Yes-but how is she to know? Try
it with hat pin?
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
f 4 Il

II you have an appetite like a bear and a
relish Tor your meals take Chamberlain's
Stomach and Liver Tablets. They correct
disorders of the stomach and regulate the
liver and bowels. Price, IS cents. Sam
plies tree, at Hanson & Emerson's drug
store.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
Fraa OF charG;s.

Any adult suffering from cold settled on
the breast, bronchitis, throat or lung trou-
bles OF any nature, who will call st Hanson
& Emerson's. the Corner Drug Store, will
be presented with sample bottle OF
Boschee's German Syrup, free of charge.
Only one bottle given to one person, and
none to children without order from par
ents.
No throat or lung trouble ever had such
sale as Boschee's German Syrup, in all
parts Of the civilized world. Twenty years
ago millions of bottles were given away.
and your druggists will tell you its success
was marvellous. 1t is really the only
Thoat and Lung Remedy generally en-
dorsed by physicians. One IS cent bottle
will cure or prove its value. Sold by deal
ers in all civilized countries.
Get Greens Prize Almanac.
I. + +
Brakeman Neal Griffin met with a
bad accident at Larinore last week
Thursday night. He was making a
''rush" run up the side freight car
when the top hand rail pulled out and
he was thrown to the ground with
great force, striking on his hips across
the iron rail. No bones were broken,
but he was badly bruised and Jared
and 1t will be FIVE or Elk weeks before
he will be able to get out. His father
was notified of the accident and he
went to Larimore at once and brought
his son to Melrose, arriving here Sat
urday night. Mr.. Griffin returned to
his work at ST. Paul.
!. + 4.
How's This!
We offer One Hundred Dollars Re-
ward for any case of Catarrh that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. J. CHENEY & CO., Props,
Toledo, o.
We the undersigned, have known F.
J. Cheney for the past l5 years, and
believe him perfectly honorable in all
business transactions and financially
able to carry out any obligations made
by their firm.
WEST & TRUAx, Wholesale Druggists,
Toledo, O., WALDING, KINNAN &
MARVIN, Wholesale Druggists, To
ledo. o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken inter-
nally, acting directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system.
Price, 75c. per bottle. Sold by all
Druggists. Testimonials free.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Senator Nelson has intr oduced a |
dill authorizing the quartermaster
general to pay to George F. ,Brott,
OF minneapolis, for logs taken
by soldiers at Fort Abercombiet dur
ng the Indian wars in the earlysixties.
He also presented petitions from citi-
,ens of Minnesota praying for the i'm
orovement of Red Lake river; also
lrging reduction of the war revenue
AK on legacies and,the exemption of
academy of Owatonna from
payment of such tax.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
Paid Dear For His Leg

B. D. Blanton Of Thackeryille, Texas. in
two years paid over 100000 to doctors to
cure running sore on his leg. Then they
wanted to cut it off, but he cured it with one
box of Bucklen's Arnica Salve. Guaranteed
cure for Piles. IS cts. box. Sold by
Fiesler & McNeice druggist.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
nxrent OF Florist industry.

The florist business In the United
States is by no means an unimportant
industry. 1t is estimated that the re-
tail value Of flowers sold annually is
$40 SOC, 900 and Of ported plants $10,-
OO0, 200. There are no less than 10000
establishments In the United States de-
voted to the growing Of plants under
glass. Chicago Chronicle.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
Artincial Eye.

Artificial eyes are supplied to all the
world from Thuringia. Germany. Near
ly all the grown inhabitants Of some Of
the villages are engaged in their manu-
facture. Four men usually sit at Ia
BILE, each with gas jet in front of him.
and the eyes are blown from gas plates
and nodded into shape by hand. The
colors are then traced in with small
needles. no set rule being observed in
the coloring, and as every man uses his
own fancy no two artificial eyes there
fore are exactly alike.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20

Music Is sometimes divided into two
classes, sacred and .profane. For par.
ticulars as to profane music. 60 to Q
sacred concert. Boston Transcript,
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
How to Cure Group.

Mr.. r. Gray, who lives near Armenia,
Duchess county, N. Y, says: "Chamber-
lains Cough remedy is the best medicine !
have ever used. It is a fine children's rem
edy for Group and never fails to cure"
When given as soon as the child becomes
hoarse, or even after the croupy cough has
developed, it will prevent the attack. This
should be borne in mind and a bottle OF the
Cough Remedy kept at hand ready for in
slant use as soon as symptoms appear. For
sale by Hanson & Emerson, druggists.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20

The 4-year-old son of Aaton Nathe
of Meirs Grove died last week Of after
affects or diptheria, and the funeral
was held in the evening. Other mem
bers of the family who were sick with
diptheria have recovered.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
An Unhandsome Trick.

First Suburbanite-I hear that Koo-
bins new bull dug up the ground,
broke down the fence and tore nearly
everything to pieces in the barnyard
this morning.
Second Suburbanite-Yes. Some fell
low went there early and fastened a
pair of red spectacles on the animals
eyes, Chicago Tribune.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
Pnsumonia prevented.

Among the TENS oI tnouSauus WHO nave
used Chamberlain's Cough Remedy for
colds and la grippe during the past few
years. t6our knowledge, not single case
has resulted in pneumonia. Thos. Whit
field 4 Co., ago Wabash avenue, Chicago,
one of the most prominent retail druggists
In this city, in speaking Of this. says: ''We
recommend Chamberiain's Cough Remedy
for la grippe in many cases, as it not only
gives prompt and complete recovery, but
also counteracts any tendency Of la grippe to
result IN pneumonia" For sale by Hanson
& Emerson, druggists.
4. + +
Eccentric Testators.
Joseph Dalky takes the opportunity
afforded by his Will of insulting his
son-in-law In terms which doubtless
had pungency once, but which are
hardly comprehensive to the modern
reader: II give to my daughter, Ann
Spencer. guinea for a ring or any
other bauble she may like better; give
to the lout. her husband, one penny to
buy him lark whistle. and this legacy
I give him as q mark of my apprecia-
ton of his prowess and nice honor in
drawing bis sword on me Eat my own
table,. naked and unarmed as was.
and he well fortified with custard."
A grewsome legacy Is that Of Philip
Thicknesse: II leave my right hand, to
be cut or after my death. to my son,
and desire 1t may be sent to him In
hopes that such sight may remind
him Of his duty to God after having so
long abandoned the duty he owed to a
father who once affectionately loved
him."
Another father seems apparently to
have begun his will with the determi-
nation of Furnishing an unruly son, but,
as the fairy stories say, all ends hap
PLY. We refer to the will Of Richard
Crawshay, the founder of the famous
Welsh ironworks. 1t runs thus: ITO
my only son. who never would follow
my advice and has treated me rudely
in very many instances, instead Of
making him my executor and residuary
legatee (as till this day he was) j give
him O00."-Chambers' Journal
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
4 + 4
A Keen Clear Brain

Your best feelings. your social position or
business success depend largely on the per-
feet action Of your stomach and liver. DR..
Kings New Life Pills give increased
strength, keen, clear brain. high ambi-
ton. A IS cent box win make you teel like
anew being. Sold by Fiesler & McNeice,
druggist.
Turkish women do not come into con-
troll of their private fortunes until aft
err marriage. After that they can dis
pose OF one-third of 1t without the hus-
bands consent.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
5000. s xsss sss to G. ah ns-

man to look after our growing
business in this and ad joining
Counties; to act as Manager and
Correspondent, work can be
done, at your home. Enclose
self-addressed, stamped envel-
ope for particulars to II. A.
Sherman, General Manager,
Corcoran Building, opposite
United States Treasury, wash
ington, D. G. IA
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20
=. + Il

DeWitt's Little Early Risers are dainty
little pills. but they never fail to cleanse the
liver, remove all distractions and invigorate
the system. Hanson & Emerson.
4. i i.
Lucas Kells went to Minneapolis to-
day. His daughter Mabel will return
with him on Saturday.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-12-20

The Great Northern is hiring tele-
graph operators as brakemen on its
western passenger trains. 1t is said
to be cheaper than keeping Operators
at flag stations where they see no one
except the passengers Who fly past on
trains.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-12-15

has matured its seed, land may be
plowed and sown, preferably to COW
peas or Japan clover, which should be
harvested in time to allow the rescue
grass to start again with the first au-
tumnal rains. Excellent volunteer
crops may be secured in this way for
several years.
Its nutritive value is high. Compar-
ing the chemical analysis of the grass
with those of rye and oat fodder, it is
found that it contains larger per-
centage of protein and fat than
either. Its nutritive ratio is lie, show
ing it to be well balanced ration for
stock.
Experience has shown that, though
rescue grass can not be offered as a
pcnacea for all the troubles of the
o. Ithern farmer, as was first claimed,
it can be safely recommended as a
valuable addition to the winter for
age plants of the south, either for
hay or pasture.