Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-11-11

larnin at doolin' an at dhrinkin'.
Alexander tn Gr-reat who is full iv :
r-rum becomes angry at tn la-ad's !
popularity. Can We r-ride horse !
betther thin 1 cam? says tn monarch.
1 can make yeer majesty look like a !
feather bed on a camel says tn la-ad. !
'Bodsfish,' says tn king, but that was :
hot wan. Be me holy dome, me :
troth, exc, faith, tn American hands ]
thin out straight firm tn chain 4
DISH III bet ye,' says Alexander tn !
Gr-reat, eight millyon boboes that We
can't, says he. Done says Dauntless !
Dick. So they throts out Booceph'lus, !
that Hogan tells me was Alexander's :
horse, an he bucks tn monarch off
an breaks his collar bone 'Wotrotr \
exclaims Carries James Fox, candfish, J
but his majesty made a dent. He was :
horsed be his throne an now he's
thrown be his horse. This is tn first !
time this joke was liver sprung Now !
lave me thry,' says Dare Divvle Dick.
An he whit up to tn plug that was !
leapin' over tn tops iv houses an
breathin' fire like as though his nose
was tn blast at tn rollin' mills. I
been taught be George Wash'nton an 1
spoke to him in his ear some wurruds !
1 was taught be me faithful
Umimumimipapa, to-wit: 800 boss"
Thin suddenly jumped into tn saddle
as he was crouchin' at me feet an :
away we whit. Up Tottenham Coort :
Rood, beyond tn railroad thracks.
acrost tn Liffey, over Parlymint into
Cinthral Park, leapin' church spires
an even fixed stars, an crushin' in
our path dukes, duchesses, flower girls,
shop girls. polismen, editors iv news !
papers an kings. we flew but he cud !
not shake me off. He bueked an
jumped, rolled over like a puff ball.
sat first on his launches an thin on !
his head dove into tn river an foated =
undher wather FIR nanny miles but
he cudden't dislodge me. [ pulled tn
snaffle, loosed tn curb an brought
him to standstill on tn table in tn
tavern where I'd left tn comp'ny
Even thin he reached ar-round an
thried to bite me but l thrust me leg .
to tn hip down his throat an thin :
crookin' me knee, thrick | had been
taugt be Wilum Penn, | give him
cross outtocks throw that I'd larned
firm Cotton Mather an hurled him !
onto tn form iv his PROSTATE masther.
"A horse on Alexander" says Shakes \
pere laughin' heartily, an tn king
ordherin up a ton " sack, they :
pledged me health in hrimmin
shawmuts'
"Ye can see, Hinnissy, that this la-ad .
cudden't happen nowadays. He cud- :
don't find tn horses nor tn s'ciety, =
But he was good thin. L won't und-
hertake to tell We iv tn things he done )
IN detail to win TIL heart iv th' lovely :
girl who was tellin' him that she loved
MN through a megaphone He lined !
Paul Jones an sailed his ship acrost )
Scotland; he fought a Ciool a dav an =
come to in tn arms iv tn croal :
woman whose love he sought. Afther !.
stickin' all tn nobility in England with !
his soord, he come home an too,, :
charge iv tn REVOLUTION which he won =
IN canther Thin he sought out TIL !
woman he loved an she threw her :
arms ar-round his neck. an befr,re :
they cud be split out tn parson crept !
up BEND him an marrid thin. All !
these things he told to his gram :
daughter, who set thin down with her
own fair hand" :
His grandmother" said Mr.. Hen :
messy !
No. his gran daughter" said Mr.. !
Dooley. AN she believed him" :
Thin things cuddent happen" said Z
Mr.. Hennessy.
Anything cud happen that far
back, whin they wore romantic !
Clothes said Mr.. Dooley. sWhtn / :
come to think iv it p'haps It's til
iaiiors that makes tn difference. Whin :
they added foot-an' -a-half to tn =
length iv mems pants they took a mile :
off iv their Stories