davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

.sThere IS q youBg man in Chicago.
saws a local physician. who noE has
good business and bright prospects
eio received his start in life by secur-
ing s. that did not beloag 10 him. !
hardly Know under what TO class the
Incident Of obtaining the money. WIZ
let the story explain his actions
This goung msn a-rired il Chicago
one day without funds. but with plenty
of nerve and push. He wanted money
10 secure a meal and pay his room rent
until be could secure a position Be
liev,nc be could ind some man who
would help him If be told his story In
straightforward manner. he entered a
ci-ar establishment IN Dearborn street
He was about 10 explain his condition
ard ask for assistance until be could
get a position when the proprietor look
ea up with a fierce scowL He turned
10 his partner. aud they held = consul
tafion in whisper FOR few moments.
New, take this 81 and don't bother me
about that bill again. That's all you
win get. and now you can get out OF
this place 10 a hurry. exclaimed the
storekeeper.
The young man was pushed toward
the door with the money in his hand.
and. Try as he would the stor keeper
would not let BIN talk. Once IN the
street the bewildeis I fellow considered
the matter in every detail and decided
to keep tie money. This he did. and
month or so later he again walked into
the cigar store and told bis story and
returned the money. News
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

One day a naturalist lay motionless
on a fallen log in the forest and silent
~ watched an animal at play in the
grass near by. This was a large.
brown backed pouse. meadow
mouse. that had come out from his
home under the log aud when tired OF
play had sat Up to make his toilet.
Using his forepaws as hands, the
mouse combed The white fur on his
breast and licked himself smooth and
sleek. Satisfied 81 length with his ap-
pearance he began 10 search for food
He did not have far to go. for few
stalks OF wheat grew among the thick
weeds near at hand. The mouse was
so large that he could probably have
ben the stalk down and brought the
grain within reach. If not. he could
certainly have climbed the stalk He
did not try either of these plans. how
ever. for these were not bis ways.
Sitting up very straight. he BIT through
the stalk as high up as be could reach.
The weeds were so thick that the
straw could not fan its full length. and
the freshly cut eud settled down upon
the ground. with the straw still erect
and the grain out OF reach The mouse
again BIT the straw in two. and again
the upper portion settled dos-n. In
this way be tit OF i've lens lbs Of
straw before be could bring the grain
within reach Of his paws. These fore
paws were very skillful little hands.
and be defily husked grain and ate
1t. sitting erect and holding il to his
mouth as naturally as boy would
hold au apple.-Our Animal Friends.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

ssDirt is a giant hard to 6ght IN beau
tifal ireland The woman who had
never heard OF 'washin a live wan Is.
I think. equaied by another who came
TO nae lately about her sore leg
They tel me, doctor. darlint. that
washin might scotch the beat out Of il!
But ! wouldn't adventure 10 do il with
out askin your advice Not for the
worlds. I'm an ouid woman now. doc
tor. dear. an a drop of water has never
gone near my body
Il advised a gooily supply Of aque-
Gus fluid preceded by a thorough ap-
plicaiioB CT alkali and potash In the
form Of soap. and the old woman hob
bied OF quite sat fled with my scien-
uhc words
In Sallybog-in for years certain
old woman levied a weekly tribute on
chariiably disposed folk. All al once
A .nevvy' from America turned up.
called on her patrons ard after
thanking them for their kindness car
ried OF his mothers sister to end her
DAYS in comfort. But the widow Hool-
ican-pronounced 'HOolI'han'-did not
Law her homes across the water. She
soon reappeared. I couldn't stop In II.
misthrrss. dear she explained 10 a
lady. Me sisters sons a good bhoy.
but. between ourselves they would ha'
washed me TO DEATH Nineteenth
Century.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

There is nothing like a determined
spirit. = the old saying is. What
must be done can be done" The trou-
bic with most Of Us is that our minds
are only half made up
4 charming old lady called at car
penter's shop the other day bearing in
her hand a little basket.
Have you comfortable chair in the
shopz" she asked Of the carpenter
~ comfortable chairT' he repeated
doubifully.
Yes" she sweetly said. 81 have
come to stay until you have man
ready to go back TO my house with me
and do the work you have been prom
ising 10 do for three weeks. have
brought my luncheon and book. and
If you haven't comfortable chair III
have tie carriage cushions brought in.
I'm going TO stay here until get that
man"
The carpenter FASTENED 10 say that
be could go at once Just as well as not.
and the old lady carried him away in
triumph
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
nnnrer Of n.lna roo ohrletng.

The other evening. while attending q
lecture. Howard Tomkins observed. sig
ting three seats In front. man whom
he recognized as an intimate acquaint-
ance. Tomkins requested the person
who occupied the seat next 20 him 10
lean forward and poke the other lndi-
viduai with his stick. The polite stran-
ger at once oblig:ngly did So
When the disturbed person turned
his head a little to find out the cause OF
the poke. TOmkins discovered bis mis-
take-ilIat he was not the person he
had taken him for.
Fixing his attention steadfastly on
the lecturer and affecting complete IN
consciousness OF the whole affair. Tom
kins left the obIiging man with the
stick to settle with The other for dis
turbance There was. as may be readi-
ly imagined. a ludicrous and embar-
rassing scene. during the whole OF
which Tomklns evidenced the pro
foundest possible interest in the lee
ture.
At last the man with the stick asked
in aggrieved and Indignant tones:
"Didn't you tell me. sir. to poke that
man with my stick"
Il certainly did" replied the una
Dashed Tomkins.
Il wanted TO see II you would poke
him or not WAS the audacious an
swer.-Pearscn's Weekly.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

The Youths Companion SAYS fAa; th-
descendant Of New England i'gs.ia.
divine has 10 his Possession an old 81
mon written by his ancestor whici
shows that the preacher 0.l 40, trusl
entirely 10 the Impulse cf the moE.rni
when delivering his discourScS. Tn,
manuscript IS written in strange.
grabbed hand and pientlfully hpspria
kled with marginal references Read
slowly here" the minister admonishes
himself in onr spot. aud TO be- given
oct very lnud and clear is the sus-
gestion for another passage. Hurry
little. with ire" he wrote in severSl
places The most emphatic aud i'm
poriani Part OF the whole sermon i.
indicated by much underlined mar
gin2l note
After hearing stories of this sanity
old time preacher II is amusing fc
know that be deemed Il wise and even
necessary Al the climax Of his elo-
queuce 10 -yeh ike one Possessed"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

We all went one day. says W. ]. Still
man in The Atlantic. 10 Coney Island,
on the southern shore of Long Island.
since a popular bathing place for New
York. bui then & solitary stretch OF
seashore. with a few bathing boxes
and temporary structure where bath
ers might get refreshments.
We drove out In my brothers buggy.
and as at turn in the road caught a
glimpse of the distant sea horizon
rose in the buggy. shouting. The sea,
the sea-. and In an uncomfortable fren-
" caught the whip from my brother
hand and slaslIed the horse In wild de
iirlum. unconscious Of what | was do
ing. The emotion remains inefaceable
after more than threescufe years. one
of the N ost vivid OF my life.
And how ecstatic was the sensaiitn
of the pl,mge into the breakers. holding
fast to my brothers hand. and then the
race up the beach before the next
comber. trembling lest II should catch
me. as If II were a living thing ready 10
devour me. They never come hack,
these first emotions of childhood. and
though have loved the sea all my life
| have never again felt the sight OF II
as then.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

Earfe fzfoinetfe's Necklace.
II must have been in lS52 that Mey-
erbeer paid his last visit to London
and | saw him at one OF the PhiIbar-
ulonic concerts. which were then held
in the old Hanover square rooms
There was quite fiufter of excite
uenf when the little old man. looking
extraordinarily wizened and wrinkird.
even for his age OF IS. came inIo the
box noticed his piercing eyes and
hooked n0se and perhaps as much as
these a ma gnldcent brooch OF rubIes
and diamonds tha; blazed in the cen
ter Of his si,srf frilI. which be wore In,
the fashion Of 1922 The stones fash.
ell and glIttered with every one Of his
quick little bows to right and left. aud
the rubies connect themselves with a
tale OF his great predecessor in Paris.
the mighty GIuck-
After the FIRST triumphant perform
ance Of one of Gluek's operas the
queen sent for him 10 come 10 her box
TO receive her congratulations. Half
dazed with emotion. excitement sud
fatigue. the old musician. rising from
his obeisance. elapped his hands to his
eyes. crying with horror. BLOOD. blood
round tie queens neckr'
"It is only this Glnck." said Marie
Antoinetie. hastily snatching VI her
necklace Of rubies and holding she rip
pling gems toward him. and Gluck
looked again and saw the fair. white
throat rising unharmed and stainless
He died In i7S7.-Cornhill
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
SHOT cut of Turn.

A former member of the Gordon
highlanders relates the following anec-
1Ote in connection wish one of the
Sordons who fought in the Anglo Boer
war OF 1881: Just before the battle of
Laingsnek the hishlanders and force
Of the EOers were lying under cover
opposite each other. The highlanders
had been ordered to remain still and
hold their fire. Presumably the Beers
lad received similar commands. for,
with the exception OF one burgher and
one Gordon. who could not refrain
from taking pot shots at so much OF
each ether as they could descry. the
men on both sides were silent.
For some time the Boer and the high
lander referred TO conducted a duel
First the Boer would bob Up from be-
hind bis shelter. fire at the highlanders
cover and drop Out Of sight The high
ander would jump up. reply and then
hurriedly hide himself About 20 shots
had been exchanged in that way when
an exclamation Of pain burst from r1le
lips Of the highlander. His left hand
had been shattered by one Of the
Beers bullets.
That serves We RIGHT. Mackenzie. ''
said his sergeant. "Ye waur telrd tae
be quiet
''Hoot mea" replied the higb lander
Hoo did ken he was gaen tae shoot
GOT O his tUrnTr
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
oue,slon. and Answers.

school inspector well known for
his weight was trying 10 extract the
word flesh" from a class. His efforts
had failed hut. taking hold of his Fat
cheek between his thumb and forein-
ger. he pulled it out and asked:
WHATS this?'
The unheSltating answer came
promptly. Pork. sir"
The. same inspector was once giving
an object lesson on an umbrella. To H.
luStrate his subject he took his own
silk umbrella. which happened to have
a small hole In il.
What is this. boysT
An umbrella. sir"
''And what is thisY
''The stick. sir"
"And theseE'
"The ribs, sir"
with what is il covered:"
Silence.
Surely you know. What Kind Of an
umbrella r'ould you call ftT'
''An old 'un. sir"-Good Words.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
A coninrrr nt cnInmhn.

Our conjurer's appearance placed
him AT once above the suspicion Of con
ccaling anything uD bis sleeve. foI
sleeve he had none lis dress was a
scant white dr-lpery which began al
the shoulders and ended At the knees.
leaving both arms ana legs uncovered
Placing himself on the deck directly
in front Of rs with his 10y assistants
a little way OF on either side. he be-
gan operations
First be spread on the deck a small
cotton pocke, handkerchief. Thereon.
IN the form Of a small hilicck. he put
two handfuis OF loose friahle earth. in
which he planted the mango seed. This
accomplished. be dispatched a hoy
with tat tin for water. 10 the mean
time taking hooded snake from q
shallow basket and waving 1.-THE
while II hissed anyriiy and enlarged
its neek-over the little mound Of SOL
rs he did so chanting on a strange pipe.
The water fetched. be ssr.nElp,l 4 few
drops on the earth. thea covered Tie
heap with a small square Of fringed
tUrlsaa cloth.
After again repeating his ineania.
tons be lifted the top covering and re-
vea,ed n tiny green shoot. not unlike
tie frst appearance Of a bean above
tie ground.-BlackwOod
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
. S,o-x Abont yyI,h.rforce.

Before he became a bishop lie had
been archdeacon Of Surrey. and his old
archdeaeonry became a part OF his lat
er bishOpric of Winchester. At meet
ing of the clergy at Clnpham his chap
lain told him that an old DR.. -. who
had been many years in the diocese,
was yexed AT having been forgotten.
Yes" said the bishop: Il have not
the smallest recollection of him. but |
will make IL all right and win go out
and speak 10 him. Which is he?" He
was pointed out. and the bishop made
his way TO him:
"Aly dear DIR. -. ! have not had q
moment for a real conversation with
you need not ask bow you are after
all these years. Do you still ride your
gray mareT'
Yes. my lord. How good of you to
remember her" etc.
The chaplain. who was within ear
shot. said when he again came near the
bishop:
Then you did remember DR.. =
after allY'
Not a bit OF IL" said the bishop. Il
saw the gray hairs ON his coat. and |
Glanced the animals sex."-"Kegan
Paurs Memoirs"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
Scotch Frnnkness.

In a Pertbshlre village recently a
gentleman got out his violin to enter
tain some friends. says the Dundee
Journal After he had played couple
of tunes he paused for a moment and
said: Il hope you like the music. for
dinna pretend 10 be a fiddler. you
know, and | never win be. | always
remember what man told me when |
first began TO learn the fiddle. When |
started. ! thought was getting on
splendidly. but one evening as was
practicing as usual he said 10 me: Yea.
that's it. is't? Weel IL a the good it'd
dlers In Scotland were to be ta'en an
drooned + the moo there's ne'er hair
in your head Yould ever get weet'"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
Remedr For scIntIcn.

Here is a really old fashioned rene
dy. II is a grandmother's remedy.
and the grandmother who believes In
il is alive and recommends IL personal
ly. Il is for sciatica.
Take equal parts Of -four and red
pepper am mix with vinegar Make
Q paste of il and move il from place TO
place with the pain. And If that does
not help you then am mistaken >
concludes The grandmother. New
York Times
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
A Telephone Enigma.

"I recently heard" said the inquisi-
tive man who had the faculty of being
able to be in two places at once. THE
following conversation over the tele-
phone:
"'who are you, pleaseY
"'Waft.'
"'What's your name. pleaseY
Watts my name
"'Yes. what's your nameT
al say my name is Watt You're
Jonesr
a. no. I'm Knott
"'Will you tell me your nameT
"'Will Knott
"'Why won't your
." Il say my name Is William Knott
"'Oh. beg your pardon
"'Then you'll be in this afternoon If
| come around. WattT
Certainly. Knott
do you wonder they rang OF in de
spair and disgust ty'-Kansas City In
dependent
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

Amcng the few who have perfect
Epnius for silence is a certain wei
known artist whose reticence is the
amusement aad wonder Of all who
know him.
a friend who had dropped into his
studio one dag was vainly endeavoring
10 draw Mr. II. into conversation. when
the artists brother appeared in tie
doorway.
Hello. Tom said the brother.
Hello. john returned Tom. looking
up from his easel with a smile.
John wandered about the room for Is
minutes. turned over his brether,s lat
est work and then. going toward the
6oor. stepped long enough to say.
We'll. gOOdby. Tom"
'Goodby. John" was the hearty re-
jo'nder
Tom painted on for some minutes.
and then 10 an unwoafed burst OF conf
dence he said warmly 10 his amused
friend:
= tell yon. I was glad to see John.
Iiars1i'i seen him tscfOrr for a month -
London Answers.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

The clock on the Philadelphia city
hail is the highest In the world. II
has the largest dials. II the diaIs were
out of the way and tracks were laid
two trains could pass each other run
ming through the holes. The glass in
the four faces is fastened there by a
ton OF cement. The glass. If laid on the
ground. would make walk square
long and ten feet wide. The minute
hand viii finish each years journey by
completing 10 mile trip. IL Is ex-
pected that this minute hand viii
travel 10 miles annually for many
years TO come. The clock is strong.
md the minute hand Is phosphor
bronze and weighs go pounds.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
Say Nice Tb,nr..

We do not like to be told Of our
faults.
We do not want to hear references
to occasions when we appeared at a
disadvantage. Yet we deplore the prev
alence OF tiattery. We make all man
neY of fan OF our friends who display a
weakness for that social pest And yet
there are few of US who. If the fiattery
be not too freely administered. as
with a shovel" do not imbibe it greed
lily and pine for more.
Every one remembers the anecdote
Of DR. Holmes when he was enthusi-
astieaily applauded and TO a somewhat
exaggerated length.
Don't you get awfully tired of this
sort OF thing. DIR. Holmesy"
Not at all said the dear old man.
frankly. They never clap quite hard
or long enough to please me. pre-
sume that could stand 1t for hours. /"
Montreal Herald
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

How did the hero Of the story come
OUT he asked OF the lad who had
just rolled up novel and got UP TO
stretch himself
ale WIS 2 chump." was the reply
guns. knife. a broncho. a lasso and a
horilr Of nizen. and sii he LEI de villain
punch de breath ont OF him aud git
away wild de heroine and a million
dollars in cash."-Sew York Sun.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
Born tn Lend

You remember young Carpley. who
used to have an ambition to be an ac-
ior. don't your
Yes"
well. he's playing a leading role
now"
You don't say so. BY George. !
never thought be had II in him."
Hes with an Uncle Tom company
and leads the bloodhounds in the street
procession. Chicago Times Herald.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

Negroes are unconSciousIy humor,
Gus. The other day two roustabouts
were overheard talking. They met on
the levee after one had been absent
from the city for several weeks.
Hello. Bill: how is yery' said the
first.
We'll" was the reply. de doctors is
give ME up but de police amt Men,
pills Sclmitar.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

Mrs. Billings tasideJ-Goodness me,
Here comes Mrs. Spruce with her
smart looking husband. and here John
goes along by my side stopping and
shutting What shall ! do to brace
him up? All. I know. (Aloudl John.
John. Did you see that handsome girl
looking NJ you:
Mr.. Billings with alacrityl-NO,
Where? Where?-LondOn Telegraph
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

Bobsy Meade OF the colonial office
was anxious to have executions In
Malta carried out more humanely. So he
consulted Marwood. Marwood strong
ly advised the long drop" and ex-
planned his own process thus: There
was Mr.. Peace, a small man. gave
him six foot drop. and. hassure you.
sir. he passed hoff like summer
heve."-"That Reminds Me-" by Sir
Edward Russell.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
when nor.e. Go to slsep.

II is not generally known that at
least four out Of every ten horses do
not lie down TO sleep. The horse that
sleeps In n standing position rests one
leg at time. depending on the other
three to sustain the weight of his body.
The habit is n very dangerous one. On
ly i short time since fine horse in the
stables OF a big manufacturing concern
went TO sleep while standing in his
stall and fell heavily to the floor. break
Ing one of his legs. a great many
horses are permanently injured as a re-
suit Of accidents of this nature. and
there is no way of curing them Of the
habit.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

Critical IIusband-This beef isn't fit
10 eat
Wife, Well. told the butcher that
lf il wasn't good ! would send you
round to his shop to give him thrash
ing. and hope you'll take some one
with you for he looked pretty fierce.
and I didn't ike the way he handled
his big knife
liusliand-Humph: On. well. will
say Eve seen worse meat than this
London Fun.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
One Grateful D~.cendnnt.

This said the guide. lis the grave
If Adamrr
Historic spot, With reverential awe
nay. with feeling Of deep thankful
ness-ihe wealthy merchant tailor on
his first trip to the orient drew near
and east flower on the tomb
''Erring ancestor" be murmured. Il
should be the last man on earth TO re-
vile your memory. To your sin ! owe
my prosperity. Chicago Tribune.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
urndoo Confectionery.

Like the American girls. Hindoo girls
are passienately fond OF sweet things.
One of their candies-sadu-is very
much like our plain sugar candy. II is
made OF sugar aud milk and Favored
with altar OF roses Buddhikalial. or
hair of Buddha. is one of their most
popular sweetmeats. II is so called be
cHuse il is in fine long strings like YER
micclli This is made of sugar and
cream from buffalo's milk. which is ex-
ceedingly rich. The women pass most
Of their time exiting candy and gossip
Ing
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
THE CANDY OF BIRDS NEST

The Candy is prepared Of Bird's-nest. which
vas famous in all the countries. We made Il USED
with engines TO take the dirty away. and then
pct it into sugar, there is great Of sweetn'ss.
fragrance. and whitrnez. every old AID Young
man are ought 20 eat. Tor il make strong.
There are two kinds Of boxes. Of them the
price is two dollars and the other is four dollars
SOUTH CHINA wAH HsNG BIRDS MIST & Co.
No. l4T. Nsnking Road.
London Globe.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

In India there is more wealth than In
any country in the world. Gold. fat
rics. jewels and spices. for ages these
have been produced and found IN this
lani. One of the Indian princes owns
Jewels valued al sl5.O00.000.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
Draw N.

"Yes. II was drawn battle" be
said in talking the matter over with
his wife.
The G-year-old who was listening was
silent for moment. Then he asked:
What did they draw it with?-ChI-
cagO Post.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

The American consuls at ali foreign
ports have the lawful right to examine
Intending emigranrs for the United
States for the purpose Of ascertainlng
that they are ft for admission to this
ceuufry
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

opiician-I cannot sell you spec .acles
for your husband. lie must come for
them In person. What is the nature
OF his visual defect?
Woman-A . cent piece looks bigger
to him than a s. bank note to other
people.-Je~clers' Weekly.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14

The Korean woman is so little es-
teemed that she has not even a name
She is simply ''the daughter" or "the
sister" of So-and-so
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1900-03-14
Turn About.

Mrs. Weeds-oh. you remind me so
much OF my FIRST husband.
Mr. Weeds-l'm glad TO hear H..
You've been reminding me Of him so
osirn--Pbiladelphla Press.