Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1900-10-10
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O!aa vHtMs1N
You seem to like his attentions. Why
don't you marry him?" Because like
his attentions. Brooklyn Life.
My wife is helping run one of these
; rummage sales" "Well, don't YOU like
it!" Like it? oh, yes; lived all
last week on ham bone, and this week
suppose shall have to subsist on let
tuce. N-lndianapolis Press.
Automatic grand opera: Mrs. Brown
@t Mrs. Smiths tea)-Oh, dear. that
dreadful Miss Smith is singing again.
wonder what started her? Tom
broWn aged OIL dropped penny
doWn her back when she wasn't look
ing.-Chicago Journal.
must confess to great deal Of
| esotism," said Willie Washington. SIN.
deedF responded Miss Cayenne. Eyes.
think about myselfentirely too much"
.oh, that isn't egotism. That's merely
the usual human tendency to worry
over Observation-Disclosures Star,
Where Is the American section?"
asked the visitor to the Paris show.
oh, monsieur" replied the polite at
tendant, re Americanes! ley are
such great peoples--and we lofe them
SO much-it is all yours-effery Sec
tion!'-Philadelphi North American.
Solitary Angels: Mamma-It is very
naughty to tell lies, Eva. People who
DO SO don't so to heaven. Eva-Did
70 uever tell lie, mamma? Mamma
No, dear, never. Eva-Won't you be
fearful lonely in heaven, mamma, with
only George Washington ?"-Collier's
| Weekly.
| Inc mature maiden who was prepar>
| ing to go downtown to have her pho
tograph taken. surveyed herself criti-
| cally once more in the mirror. 81 think
prefer to do my own retouching," she
SAID, opening another JAR and reaching
tor the necessary implements.-Chicago
Tribune.
Were you interested in the piano re.
cital! asked the musician. "Well. an
swered Mr.. Cumrox, lit was a little
SLOW at first; but after l caught the
spirit OF 1t and got to guessing with the
othefs whether 1t was time to applaud
or only rest, it got to be quite =
game. "-Washington Star.
III tell you how you can find ou+n
said her big brother. Next Tuesday
is his birthday; make him a present Of
box of cigars like you gave me Christ.
mas. But how will that prove his
ioVe! asked the innocent maid. "If
ne smokes them himself he loves you:
II he gives them away he doesn't."-
Chicago News.
Did you say this was a comic onera
war;" asked the Filipino soldier who
came can. INTO camp with flag of truce.
mat remark has been made" "Weu.
our general says he's willing to take
you at your word. He wants to know
II you can fix the show up so there will
De FEWER marches and more dialogue"
Washington Star.
Dear me" she said, 81 wonder what
mas become of that household journalY,
He didn't say word. There was an.
other recipe in 1t that l wanted to
try" He smiled. for now he was as.
sured that he had done wisely, when
he burned 1t. Even good-natured
man may grow weary of having ex-
periments tried upon him.-Chicago
Post.
Now, boys" said the teacher to the
juvenile class in history, "who can tell
me what Gen. Washington said to his
lieutenant while crossing the Delaware
amid the floating icea" Il can" replied
a youngster at the foot of the class.
Wen, Tommy. what did he say2"
queried the teacher. ''He said, How'd
you like to be the Ice manY" replied
The incorrigible Tommy. - Trained
Motherhood.
ABOUT tne
said; 81 have had no troIu1ae zag! 90
How do you manage it?' they asked.
II take my two boys with me-" And
can they really help you?" Can they
really help me-" she exclaimed; well,
should say so. One Of them played
right tackle on his college football
team and the other is champion catch
as-catch-can wrestler of his Glass;
Chicago Post.
Yes, George, you very distinctly
said in your Sleep is 1t my anteY
Now, what did you mean by thatY
"Mean? Why, that's simple. was
dreaming was boy again, waiting
for Christmas. And when another boy
asked me If didn't know who Santa
Claus was, l said, questioningly, is it
my auntie? The dear old lady brought
me up, you know" "Oh, you darling,
big-hearted boy."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
~ suppose" said the woman who
had sampled every kind of candy she
could reach by thrusting her arm over
the protective railing, and finally had
bargained for five cents worth of but
terscotch, "all this is adulterated. You
couldn't sell it so cheap If it wasn't"
Yes. ma'am," returned the salesman,
solemnly, Its all adulterated. That
butterscotch you're getting. for in.
stance, has mighty little butter and
not a bit of Scotch. Chicago Tribune.
She had asked the advice of the fam
lily physician. "Old Mr.. kreesus has
weak heart, hasn't hep she inquired.
YES" replied the doctor. "a very weak
heart. He is likely to drop off after the
slightest excitement" ..And there is
no doubt about his wealth?" None.
He is very rich man." 1.-The reason
inquire is that he has asked me to BIO
his wife," said the frank young wom-
an. "Indeed!" Eyes. am glad sent
for you. know now just what to do"
"Yes?" yes" said the noble girl. 1--WE
will have very quiet wedding follow
ed by large and exciting reception.
Thank you so much. or."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
First Known to the Chinese.
One of the greatest Chinese discoy-
or;as wac n kind of iron orn ,,,l,iob n.