The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1900-02-09

A day or so after Sir Lawrence Alma
Tadema, r. A., had been knighted, a
lady called upon him and Lady Alma
Tadema and expressed herself to him
as follows: "Oh, dear Sir Lawrence, |
am awfully glad to bear of the honor
you have received. | suppose, now that
you have been knighted, you'll give up
painting and live like gentleman!
A young minister who did not scruple
to fish for compliments, was once In
vlted to take dinner with douce old
elder, as retlcent as they make them.
Manipulate the conversation as he
would, the young man could not get his
host to say Sermon" and at last he
boldly introduced the important subject
by remarking directly, THAT was a fine
text had today" But the elder knew
his man. "Ou, ay, there's naethiDg
wrang WI the text"
Father Macklln, who married Mrs.
Hazen to Admiral Dewey at his rectory
in Washington, some time ago wrote 10
Mrs. Hazen when her quarterly pew
rent was due. In his note he said that
her pew, No. 61. in his church was get
ting mOldy, and he feared she might be
going to some other church than his.
On the wedding morning tsays the Phil
adelphia Press she reminded him of 1t,
and said: "Now, Father Macklln, could
you not say my pew Is Miidewey, In
stead Of that very ugly word"
Dean Hole, of Rochester, England,
tells of very innocent and gentle cur
ate who went to a Yorkshire parish
where the parishioners bred horses and
sometimes raced them. He was asked
to invite the prayers OF the congrega-
ton for Lucy Gray. He did so. They
prayed three Sundays for Lucy Gray.
On the fourth the clerk told the curate
he need not do 1t any more. why"
said the curate, ''is she deadT NO."
said the clerk, she's won the steeple-
chase" The curate became quite a
power In the parish.
Congressman John Murray Mitchell,
of New York, went to Sing Sing prison
a few days ago to inspect the place.
Upon leaving the prison he went to the
telegraph Office at the depot and handed
this dispatch to the woman operator:
Mrs. ]. NJ. Mitchell, Tuxedo, N. Y:
Have just escaped. Expect me home
tonight ]. NJ NJ" aren't you afraid
of being capturedT asked the operator
frightened almost to death. II trust
the Western Union Telegraph Company
to keep my secret" replied the Con-
gresham. Don't say word to any
body" 81 promise" said the little
woman. The Congressman concealed
a smile as he left the Office to board
the train for New York.
Algernon Dougherty, of the United
States diplomatic service, has qualities
of his own to account for his success as
well as being the son of the famous
"S!lver-Tongued Dougherty," Of Phila-
delphia. One of the rules of the aris-
tocratlc Partisan concierge Is that while
one may ride up in the elevator, one
must not ride down. 1t was Mr..
Dougherty who broke down this rule
In house in the Rue de Maturin. He
started down, and the concierge stopped
the elevator. "It Is forbidden" by
whom" "The proprietor forblds It,"
said the concierge. Mr.. Dougherty
drew himself up and said: Tell your
proprietor that forbid him to forbid
me anythlngr and rode ON down. And
now, even the timid maiden ladies on
the sixth floor play with that elevator
as though 1t were tame cat.
Col. Sheffield Phelps, owner of the
Jersey City Journal, was the richest
newspaper man in America several
years ago. From his father, the late
William Walter Phelps, he inherited a
fortune of several millions, but after
he was graduated from Yale he began
active newspaper work as reporter on
the World In New York. Once he was
sent to report the wedding of the daugh-
ter of Wall street man. The report.
ers were met at the front door by
servant who quickly separated them
from the guests and led them to the
hosts private room, where the banker
met them In person and gave them type
written slips containing the lnforma-
tlon they were sent for. Then cham
pagne was opened and the banker took
some cigars from a drawer In his desk.
Have one," he said to Phelps; they're
genuine conchas. import them my
self" Thanks" said Phelps, pleas
antly, as he took the cigar; "have one of