Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-03-24
BY R PAIN.

4 BY BARRY PAIN. *
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What was the matter with you the
other day." l asked.
what day.? he said snappishly.
Yesterday, l think. You We're going
down Bond street in a hanson. You
were without a hat. Your face was
dusty and your nose was bleeding. Your
collar was
"Stop" he said. "Ill tell you about it.
Are you a fool?"
NO" l replied.
you're fairly clever?"
"Certainly. In fact, that understatea
IT,"
"Then it will be a warning to you. 1t
was cleverness brought me to the condi-
ton in which you saw me. I've been get
ting cleverer and c~leverer of late. Mind,
I've signed off now. I'm going to be as
big a fool as other people in future, but
do get On with the story"
Il say that it was a dirty trick of Jen-
nings to run away like that. And those
silly books about Theodore Hook and
other practical jokers ought to be stop
ped, and"-
"You're too incoherent. Begin at the
beginning"
THAT'S what l was doing, more or less.
II l hadn't read that stuff about the man
betting that he'd make the utter stranger
invite him to dinner and winning it, I
could have kept quiet, but after that I
bout m y o,sp. nln,,o. sIono Mid rv
idea about the ticket inspector wasn't
bad, though that wasn't WHAT
"Tell me about the ticket inspector
first"
"Oh, that was at Baker street. saw
there was an inspector on the hunt, and,
having a first class ticket, l got into a
second class carriage. My idea was to
tell him that l hadn't got a second class
ticket, but was quite willing to change in
to the third. Then he'd say that l could
not do that and should have to pay the
excess, the difference between second and
third. Then l should have replied that l
wouldn't pay and that I would change.
Then when he tried to stop me from get
ting out / should have shown him my
first class ticket. SeeT
YES"
Cant you imagine what a silly goat
that inspector would have looked? Well,
he came to my carriage, and he said,
a second class ticket, but Then he in
terrupted me. He said Show your tick
ct, please speaking quite civilly, as il he
were being patient with a child that
couldn't understand. Then l had to show
it. and he didn't seem surprised or anus
ed or panied. He said, Thank you,' and
went on. Other people in the carriage
smiled a good deal, and l rather fancy
they were smiling at me. These things
don't work out the way you have planned
them beforehand. That was what was
wrong with the signaling in the park"
What was that"
"That was what brought ME to the
condition in which you saw me yester-
day. I had seen the soldiers signaling in
the park. They fool about with flags
and notebooks, and crowds come round
and get %frightfully interested. Well, my
Idea was to do some bogus signaling that
didn't mean anything and take in the
crowd. l meant to write to the papers
about it afterward, so that the crowd
would know they'd been fooled and get
mad with themselves. That's the last
thing, by the way, l aver do with Jen-
nings. l told him about it, and he was a
good deal amused and said he'd Join in it.
We put on blue serge suits and yachting
caps. so that we looked official, with a dash
of the navy about it. We had no flags,
because we thought it would be more fun
to signal with our arms and legs, but we
both carried laundering big notebooks.
We took up our position in the park
about 80 yards apart and took care to be
near a path where plenty Of people would
be passing. Jennings signaled first. He
stood on his left leg and worked an i'm
aginary bicycle with his right. Then he
raped his knees together sharply twice
and finished by striking his chest with
both hands alternately very quickly. l
thought / should have died of laughing,
but l controlled myself and pretended to
take down the meaning Of all the signals
in my notebook.
"Then it was my turn to signal. l did
a windmill action with my right arm and
bell pulling with my left. Then l covered
my left eye with one hand and stamped
with my right foot. l threw in a few
more eccentric movements, and Of course
Jennings pretended to record them. BY
this time each Of us had a little crowd
around him. At his end it was almost
all children and nursemaids, but at mine
there were a good many ablebodied park
loafers. Jennings always has all the
luck, as you'll see.
"Well, it was a regular bean feast and
went beautifully. When the crowd asked
me questions, l told them not to talk, as
II interrupted the signaling, but after q
few minutes a big, interfering kind Of
man came up. He was very Quarrelsome
and partially intoxicated, but l fancy
that he knew something about signaling. |
He had not watched US for half a minute
before he said we were not signaling at
all and that the whole thing was a plant.
I began to feel a little nervous. Then he
snatched my notebook and Of course saw
that there were no genuine entries in it.
l moved away, aud that crowd, which
seemed much annoyed, moved after me.
Jennings, seeing there was trouble on,
bolted at once in the most cowardly way
instead Of coming to help me, and as he
had only nursemaids at his end he was
all right"
But you were noty"
1.-THE police got me out Of the park in
the end and put me into the hanson In
which you saw me. I can't understand
why the crowd lost its temper over a
harmless little joke like that, but it did.
Anyhow, I've done with these smart
tricks now. In future you'll kindly re-
member that I'm just as big a fool as
anybody else"
/ promised not to forget it.-Black and
White.
OVERRIDING 1t.
"Some folks" said Uncle Eben, lis so |
skyaht fob fear dey's gwinter hide dab