Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1900-10-12
PRIOR TO HIS SPEECH
THOMPSON AND HIS FIRST AFTER
DINNER EFFORT.
Sensations of the Tyro In Post-Pran-
dial Oratory Before He Begins-Biu
of Fare Scarcely Noticed and Other

(He takes his seat at the table, and
steals glance at his toast lst)
Third from the last speaker-and
twelve-coursed dinnerto be lived through
first. Great Caesar! Well-Maybe III
die before we get to it. Hope 50, I'm
sure.
Elegant oysters, but no taste to 'em.
Perhaps it's my tongue-it feels sort of
blurred
Soup looks all right, but l don't seem
to notice it as it goes down.
Ladies and Gentlemen-no, no,
mean7-"Mr Toastmaster and Geutle-
men, Wonder if | look pale? Feel
! pale, I'm sure. Glad l got fish bone
in my throat just then. 1t changed the
current of my thoughts for a time and
eased up some of the pressure on my
brain. Besides, it headed off the man
on my left from asking me questions
which haven't mind enough to spare
to answer-'There's a little story that
comes to my mind as l rise to address
| you BY the Lord Harry, how did that
story begin? Suppose IT shouldn't come
to my mind!
"Is this game? Shouldn't know it
from chicken feed. Am l eating like a
civilized being or am l ramming it
down the way used to do when l
knew a thrashing was waiting for me
after dinner? Wish that idiot across
] hn toh In OF ln rti no
of my hair so often. Wonder if got
it crooked, after all?
USED the wrong fork for my oysters,
1t becomes evident. Got to use oyster
fork now for the roast. Glad my wife
isn't here; glad I've got one thing left
to be glad for. There can be no ques-
tion that the issues which are involved
in this matter of'-that's not right.
There can be no issue involved in this
question which is not'-By Jove, but
this room is Internally hot There can
be no question involved in this issue
oh, which way does the confounded
thing go?
while l eat this salad Pm going to
think this thing out calmly. l certainly
know this speech by heart; I've gone
to bed and got up with it too long to
forget it now. There's no use in my
getting ratified. There can be no ques-
tion that this matter involves issues
Confound it, why can't that man let
me alone? He may have nothing to do
but eat his dinner and ask fool ques-
] nf yha hox ~,
their minds.
by Jove, we're getting pretty we'll
through. My mouth is as dry as saw
dust; nothing seems to moisten it up.
Never knew l had palpitation of the
heart-but l got it now, sure. I'll see
the doctor In the morning if I'm alive
which doubt.
"Guess l won't smoke; don't think
could hold my hand steady to light up.
I'll have to take out more insurance if
I've got heart disease-if can get any
company to take my risk.
"Great heavens! We've got to the
toasts. First man looks as calm as
mud. Wish could just look that way,
whether l said much Of anything or
not. But l don't. l look all colors-
blue, just now, think.
Second man up! Three more before
me. Wish l could go home. Afraid
forgot to applaud No. l. Must remem-
ber that this time.
1.-TWO more! If my knees shake like
this l can't stand on my legs. that's
all. see my finish; l shall fall over
and be carried out and thatll be the
best thing that could happen-so long
as nobody gets onto 1t. One more!
George Thompson, when that man sits
down you've got to get up. Oh, why
can't / go home? I've had enough of
this ! believe Pll-I'll run away
nowl
Hes getting through! The questions
involved in this issue The issues
involved in this question-ladies and
Mr.. Toastmaster and Gentlemen: AS |
rise to address you-as rise to address
you a little story comes to my mind
My mind! It's perfect blank--abso-
lutte. He's sitting down! Oh, | wish
/ was being hanged-I do, l do! Mr.
Toastmaster and Ladies'-or being shot
for deserter or being wrecked on a
barren island. Now it's come! He's
calling OH mel They're looking at me,
| know my neckte's under one earl
know it-but can't help 1t now; it's too
late-everything's too late. Here go
Speak, George Thompson! Speak, you
foolr'
(Aloud) "Mr. Toastmaster-L-l-
Gentlemen-"-Trut