The daily morning journal and courier., 1900-04-05
.FLOORW ALKER'S TRIALS.
EXAMPLES OF WHAT Il DEPA RT- M ENT STORE BE U BRUuMEL
 GOES THROUGH.
The Walking Directory-No Limit to Number or Characteristics of People He Daily Sets Alright.

The one with his chair drawn well
 back from the table and tilted com
 fortably against the wall while he blew
 clouds of smoke from the huge black
 cigar which was engaging most Of his
 attention was a reporter on one Of the
 afternoon dailies enjoying in a convivlal
 manner the only holiday of his busy
 year. His companion who sat on the
 opposite side of the same little round
 tab!e, enjoying potion of spiritus tru-
 menti, was a floorWallier in one of the
 large department stores and his appear
 ance as concerned dress would have
 rivaled that of John Drew at the an-
 nua1 ganbol of 'The Lambs Club"
 over the glasses they were talking
 shop" and debating the myriad cares
 that are attendant on both callings,
 Finishing a vivid portrayal of a days
 experiences on the hunt for the ever
 nimble commodity termed news" the
 scribe opened at his friend with
 "Well, what are the carking cares
 that weigh down foorwalllers and
 First and foremost" broke in the
 floorwalker, I've got to look pretty If did not possess the fatal gift of beauty l could not be floorwalker. l could be bank president, or a millionaire yachtsman, or railroad director, or a mine owner, or a chief of police, or a. newspaper man, or anything else great and good-but never floorwalker. Be- fore I slid into the ranks of the floor walkers I used to feel like chucking things at a foorwalker when l saw him. I objected to his pervasive pretti- mess. I wanted to rend him and dam age him. But since the exigencies of an unfortunate business career, added to the impecunious aftermath of a too joy ous youth, forced me into the battalion of naughty store paraders, I am changed. We must live The necessity may not be obvious, but we must.
 Besides looking pretty, it is part of my job to stand still on occasion and let people throw metaphorical rocks at me have learned now to catch 'em in my teeth and eat them, that is to say, I have learned not to talk back. When I first became a f1oorWalker l had no more mental equipoise than to inform the gentlemen shoppers who character ized me as a dummy and dub, and a stiff and a poppy dreamer, and hash eesh eater, and a lovely thing, and the lady shoppers who informed me that I didn't know any more about location of goods in the establishment where I am employed than their maiden almts in assachussets-I hadn't any more rein on myself than to tell them that right down the street, on the next block, two doors to the left, there was another in- etitution similar in all essential respects to our own. and perhaps a good deal better, where they could probably be served all right, and get anything they wanted, from bunch of figs to an at- tachment on the gate receipts. But no more! I came near losing my job. would have lost it had I not been so in- effably naughty and pretty that
 You mean that shoppers in this town talk at you in that"
 Precisely. That humbe-minded old gentleman Job that we hear so much about probably never held a fioorwalk- ar's job in a department store. If he had, his finish would have been differ l ent. He would have lasted about 20 | and then he would have run amuck and heaved potsherds and s. | cent. bottles of violet water and been hauled up before a magistrate, and got | ten thirty days.
 .Instances? Well, there was a man walked in to-day, looking mad. He | belted the storm door open-that's how could tell he was mad. Whenever I l see a mad-loolxng man coming in at the | storm door, or any other door, I know that his wife has sent him and I feel | for him, for I was not always floor walker. This man had a nip of cerise ribbon clutched in his hand and he made for me.
 Where do I go to get about 800 | sathoms of this stuff-enough to trim a waist that weighs one-eighth of a pound, hey?' he asked me, breathing hard.
 ' Ribbon counter. second floor up, ast counter to the left,' said I, and way he went. He came back in about i've minutes, still clutching his bit of .erise ribbon in his glove He looked nadder than ever.
 < Say he demanded walking up to ne, how many ounces of dope, troy weight, do you shove into your face in he course of a morning? I've been all ver the third floor. There's everything lse on earth on that floor except ribbon There's towels and tablecloths, and bibs nd coal Scuttles and mechanical toys nd pirated literature and fine combs nd soap and navy-blue rugs, and lunch ounters, and baby-blue-eyed girls and Il kinds O things up on that third eek, but I'll eat every yard of ribbon ou can find up there and do magi- ians turn for the benefit of the poor-.'
 T said the second floor up, you now said I.
 !" The devil you did!' said he. Don't ou s'pose I can hear?' Well, you know said I, you could l ave asked some of the clerls'up there 7here the ribbon counter was, and " Ask ern? Don't you s'pose I had l nough sense to do that? I asked em $ Il, and I've been everywhere in the l uilding except the boiler-room. Be- l ore they sent me out into the alley, or a , Larchmont or South Beach, I thought 2 might as well drop down here and see I ou, if only to find out how many hop | ills man with plastefed hair and a Z ink(carnation can absorb into his car $ ass before F o'clock, noon, and still ccp his feet Where's the ribbon coun- V ,r?' II