davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
THEIR EXPENSE ACCOUNTS.
the Outlays of q Bishop and
q Drummer.

At the Methodist general conference re-
gently held in Chicago certain members,
both lay and clerical, freely criticised the
large expense accounts of some of the bish-
ops, relates the Chicago Chronicle. They
were charged with extravaganza, and told
that they had no right to live like princes
while serving the Lord. Bishop McCabe has
felt personally aggrieved by these criticisms,
and has published reply. He declares that
his own annual travelling expenses average
less than $3.50. The bishops bill certainly
looks modest. He states that a commercial
traveller to whom he showed his account
laughed long and loud" and said: 'sThe
house for which l work allows me eight
dollars a day for travelling expenses. This
comparison unquestionably is most favora-
BILE to the bishop. One is reminded, how
ever, that there are certain necessary items
of heavy expenditure to the account of a
successful drummer which are escaped by an
itinerant bishop. If Bishop McCabe were
obliged to treat his constituents as literally
and as frequently as the average CONNER:
cial traveller he might find an allowance Of
eight dollars per day none too ample.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

Paris has a population of 3,000,00e
persons and only 10000 are Protest.
ants.
Chicago presbytcry reports total
decrease from last year of s14 in the
membership of it's churches.
Felix Hogenmiller, who is now rs
years old, has taught school in the
same room at Ste. Genivieve, Mo-, for
more than so years.
Bishop Montgomery, of Los Angeles.
Cal, who mas been appointed an as
sistant to Archbishop Riordan, of San
Francisco, by the pope, is q native OF
Kentucky, and is popular with Prot
estants as well as Catholics.
Oxford has among it's undergradu-
ates a married Lancashire millhand,
% years of age, who worked his way
into the university by studying after
factory hours, with the help of free
libraries and university extension lee
lures. He has won scholarship
worth ESQ year.
Rev. E. F. Lawrence, secretary of
the Church Society for the Promotion
of Kindness to Animals, intends to
visit Washington for the purpose of
presenting his ideas to President Nc
Kinley. He hopes later to secure audi
ences with the car, Emperor William
and the heads of other nations, being
convinced of their cooperation. The
Swiss government will be asked to
summon the signatories to the Geneva
convention.
Rev. DIR. Samuel L. Gracey, United
States consul at Foo Choo, China, in
his lifetime has combines the func-
tons of politician and clergyman. DR..
Gracey was born in Philadelphia in
1885. After obtaining an education he
was for 80 years pastor of Methodist
churches of considerable prominence
in and about Philadelphia, Whining
ton and Boston. He was twice elected
to the Massachusetts, legislature from
Salem.
Prof Du Bots, one of the leading
negroes of Atlanta, who is doctor of
philosophy of Harvard and who has
been collecting statistics of the educa-
ton of the negro, says he found that
there are 2,414 negroes in the country
who have received degrees from an ed
ucational institution of some kind, in
GLIDING 235 women. Reports from
these show that they have, on the
whole, been successful and have an
average assessed valuation of property
of $4,000.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
WAS NOT ASKED AGAIN.
One Occasion When the Piety Of .
Michigan Politician Was Not
Conspicuous.

NJ. E. Chittenden, the Michigan politician
who died recently, dearly loved joke. His
own initials, IN. f. C" he always insisted,
stood for Methodist Episcopal church, which
organization, could it have secured him,
would have acquired very lively member.
Mart" as Mr.. Chittenden was familiarly
called, relates the Chicago Chronicle, par.
TALLY lost his hearing some years ago and
communication with him thereafter was one
of the fine arts. Being the. agent OF
the Standard Oil company for a large terri
tory, he travelled considerably, and on GER
tain occasion fell in with q couple Of friends
at Hillsdale, who invited him to 60 with them
to dinner at the house of a resident &C
quaintance. One Of them quietly said to the
host: "Mr. Chittenden is an exceedingly
pious man and likes to have the food blessed
before partaking. You must invite him to
ask the blessing.
Accordingly, when all were seated, silence
fell upon the company, while the host turned
to Mr.. Chittenden with will you ask the
blessing?" -.
Up went Chittenden' hand to his ear, with
his usual, quick, nervous gesture, as IN
listening attitude he responded in Z tone
more decided than unctuous:
eve grown 80 ALFRED deaf lately that II
you've got anything to say to me you'll have
to say it devilish loud"
A roar from the two friends disclosed to
Chittenden and the astonished host that
they had been the victims of a practica! joke,
But "Chit" enjoyed it amazingly when he un'
derstood what had happened.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
THE SCIENCE OF TRAVELLING,
Lines to a Man Who IL
Wide Awake.


"There are ways and ways of travail
ing" remarked a Philadelphia man
whose business keeps him on the road
good deal, particularly between his
own town and New York, relates the
Washington Star. ut used to be that
when I wanted to go over to New
York, or rather was compelled to go,
for l never wanted to, took the
first train going that way and went
But don't do that way any more,
simply because have learned bet
ter way. You know every trunk line
has other roads connecting with it
that is, not as part of it, but using its
tracks for their own trains. For in
stance, the Pennsylvania has a Chesa-
peake & Ohio train over it to New
York and an Atlantic Coast line train
from the south by way of Washing
ton; then, there's Pittsburgh & Fort
Wayne from Chicago, and Pan-Han-
die from Cincinnati, each and every
one coming out of different terri
tory, in all of which / have business
49, VI ISIS. 4hCIC 49, III duulllOu u
these trains, the usual and regular
Philadelphia trains, local and other
wise, all going to New York and all
good enough, but not all to suit me at all
times. Sometimes want to see some
body from Kentucky or Virginia, OF
from Georgia, or the Carolinas, and
instead of getting on any old train
out of the Broad street station, /
wait for Chesapeake & Ohio or an
Atlantic Coast line, and going
through the sleepers am always sure
of finding some southerner or other
who can tell me what l want to know.
If want to post myself on Cincin-
natl and Ohio, or Chicago and the
west, I take one of the through trains
from those sections, and I always find
what l want. 1t used to be dull rid
ing when I didn't know any better
than to take a local train loaded with
my own kind of people, but uder
the present system my trips are not
only pleasant little excursions into
the south or west, but they are FIRE.
quently valuable to me in the point.
ers I pick up. The same opportuni.
ties are afforded IN other cities for
travellers to get trains that mean
something more than merely getting
them to their destination, but TIL
venture not one traveller in 50 thinks
of it, and he goes breakneck for the
first train that leaves the station.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
PRESENCE OF MIND.
Work with q Wide Awake
Man.

If there be one thing that more than an
other admire it is the having ones wits about
one-perhaps because l never had mine. To
be possessed only of Iesprit d'escaliers is
simply an aggravation, writes John Paul in
Harper's Magazine.
AS illustrative of ready-witted men re.
call an incident that have often told but
never published. Let me do that now in
justice to one that is gone.
In company with the late j. r. Osgood ]
once of an evening dropped in at Wallack' s
old Fourteenth Street theater. We could
get no seats, as there was standing room
only. At the end of the first act two or.
chestra seats were vacant in front, and we
walked down and took them. Barely were
we seated when two gentlemanly-lo
young men came down the aisle and ad.
dressed me.
beg pardon, but have you checks fol
those seats?"
I was on the point of rising, when Osgood
replied: mo. Have your"
They hadn't. It was merely bit of su
preme bluff. But how few would have had
the readiness to meet and parry it.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
The Parrot AZ 4 Gymnast.

Boys and girls who have watched
parrots have seen them perform some
curious gymnastic feats in their cages
The birds were long thought to have
invented these performances in order
to vary the monotony of cage life. Mrs
Mandsley,wife of a Central American ex
plorer, says that parrots and macaw,
perform still more wonderfully on tn.
trees when in state of freedom thar
hey do in captivity. They vault and
swing and hang by the beak or toes and
balance at dangerous angles. They
seem at times to be showing of" be.
fore admiring audiences, and they vie
with each other in acrobatic trick,
which are truly clever and require closs
calculations of distance.-Little Chron,
icle.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
R.,. ph,,,pp,.. Jewels.

The rarest eorals in the world are to be
found in the Philippines, and have now
become American property. As precious as
this jewel is, there is still rarer one, and
thateis the jewel of health. 1t may be pos
eessed by any one, who will keep the diges'
ton active and the bowels regular with
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, the king of all
remedies for Indigestion, dyspepsia, con-
stipation, biiousness, belchlng, heartburn
and sleeplessness. Try it.
With Reerets.-."The true editorial spir.
it." said the old-tmer, "is declining. Il
guess you're right" agreed the struggling
Iuthor 'It certainly doesn't appear to be
accepting. '-Philadelphia Press.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

Why Yucatan Chill Tonic (improved) ID
Superior to all So-Called Tasteless TONES.
Because it is acceptable to the most delicate
stomach. Does not sicken, nauseate or pro-
duce bad taste. Each dose contains the
same proportion of medicine. Half the
medicine does not stick to the bottle. Nc
shaking Of the bottle required-the compo
nent parts are thoroughly assimilated; II
and Pepsin. Drives out Malarial Poisons!
Purifies the Blood! Strengthens the Nerves!
Produces hearty appetite! The Best Toni,
Known! Price, so cents. Cure guaranteed
For sale by druggists.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
That Funny Feeling.

'Da amt no feelin'," remarked, Uncle
Eben, "dat can hold er candle to de per-
culiar sensation dat melts in er mans soul,
meanders down his spine an trickles out
at his heels when he done lays down er
6ve-dollar bill in payin' fo' er ham an de
grocer hans him back jes' 1887 in change"
Chicago Evening News.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

Often the only difference between the la
borer and his employer is that the for
mer is mere bread-winner while the lat.
ter is a mere ough-winner.-Puck.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

If you want good digestion to wait upon
your appetite" you should always chew .
bar of Adams Pepsin Tutti Fruit.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
The Disaster Forca.ter.

PA, what is a political croaker?"
well, he's q man who believes thu
country will go to the dogs il b,
doesn't soon get into good fat OF
dee. Detroit Free Press,
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

Towne-"You never saw anybody as mad
as my wife is. She bought me a necktie yes
terday." Browne-"And you made some
sarcastic remark about it and wouldn't wear
it, eh?" Towne-"No; put it right on and
told her it was beautiful. You see, she ex,;
pected I'd turn it down, and then she could
keep it for herself" -Philadelphia Press.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infalli.
bic medicine for coughs and cclds;-N: w.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

The Best Prescription for Chills
and Fever is a bottle Of GROVES TAsTELEsa
CHILL Tonic. tits simply iron and quininein
Rtasteless form. No cure-nQpay Price, SOC.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
A dreadful Coudition.

Jinks-The colonePs wife had such tenn
per that she drove the poor man to drink.
Binks-Seeing that they live in Kentucky,
don't think that is SO awful.
well, but it was to drink water."-De-
troit Free Press
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

The trouble with the air castles girls
build is that they are all parlor and music
room, with no kitchens NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Globe
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

His Idea.-Nephew-"This hotel is run
on the European plan" Uncle Josh
"How's that! Do they charge Americans
twice az much as anybody else?"-Puck.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
What NE Wanted.

She-Take care, Alfred; that isn't the
remedy for seasickness. Don't you see the
bottle is marked poison"
He (groaning)-That's the one want
n. Y. World.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

There is an unfortunate time in mans
life when he feels too old to become gay,
and too young to 60 to bed early.-Atchison
Globe.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

Don't allow yourself to become melan
choly. Laugh once in awhile, whether yo1
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
All
Women
Know

That ordinary treatment
falls to reIjeve painful
periods.
HseyknowkydK AL Pink
nan, g Vegetable Com
pound will and does and
has, more than any other
medicine.
Every woman knows
about Mrs. Pinkhan,IS
medicine.
Every woman knows
some woman, Mrs. Pink
han, has cured.
But nine women cut Of
ten put off getting this re-
liable remedy until their
health Is nearly wrecked
by experiments Or neg
k0cf!
Then flbey write 10 Mrs.
Pxi1lk1al1, and she cures
them, but Of course II
takes longer to do So
D0nY delay getting heLp II
YOU are SICK.
She has heLped q million
women. Why not y0u2
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
1t Came Natural.

Mrs. Johnsing-Mah lands! Dat chile cam
be mo- den fo' mont's ole an walkin' eroun'
like er full grown man! How'd yo' larn him
Mrs. Jackson-Why, Nose begin whistlin'
a cakewalk de odder day, an OATS de ~
sult.-Puck.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

Il il surprising what strong case .
loafer can make out against an industrious
man.-Atchison Globe.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

Thirty minutes is all the time required to
dye with PUTNAM FADELEss DYES. Sold by
all druggists.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

The desire for fame has betrayed many
An ambitious man into committing lndis.
cretions that forever ruined his reputation.
Chicago Daily News.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
Wouldn't rhi. Jolt You.

Mr.. Wabash lat the ball)-Is your pro-
gramme full, Miss Olive?
Miss Olive (of St. Louis)-My goodness,
no! I've been waiting more than an hour
for some one to come along and take me
down. to supper.-Chicago Evening News.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18
LOW-RATE EXCURSIONS,
Via Missouri Pacific Railway ant
Iron Mountain Route.

To points in the West, Southwest and South.
east, at half-rates (plus 5000 for the round
trip. Tickets on sale Tuesdays, September
4th and 18th, October I'd and 10th, Novem.
Der 9th and Goth, and December 4th and 18th,
1900. For full information, land folders,
etc, address any agent of above lines or H.
c. Townsend, G.P. 4 T. Agent. 81. Louis. Mo.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

The letter P, like the selfish friend, Il
first in pity and last in Chicago Daily
News.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

To Cure . Cold In One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Al
druggists refund money if it fails to cure. Csc
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1900-10-18

Halls Catarrh Cure
Is taken Internally. Price 75c.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1900-05-26
THE PALACE WAITED.
A Builders Suggestion That Chang
ed the Plans OF n Pope.

ed the Pinns OF n POPE.
At time when there was great suf-
fering among the people from lack of
food and when famine in its worst
form was threatened Pope Alexander
VI had made arrangements for the
erection Of a magnificent palace. The
best architects had been employed, and
the plans had been submitted and ac-
cepted. and an accomplished builder
had been sent for to come from Venice,
a man whose work had won for him re-
nown and who was known to be a just
and upright man.
The builder had arrived. and at an
appointed time he waited upon his no.
illness to receive the plans and make his
estimates. There is one thing yet to,
De done" said the pope. There has
been no proper inscription or legend
thought of to be placed over the main
entrance of the palace 1t should be
put above the great gate. You have
had experience. Do you think of an
inscription that would be Appropriated"
IF your holiness would pardon me
for the liberty. might suggest one
most appropriate at this time
You are pardoned in advance" said
the pope, smiling. Now. what shall it
beg
Sovereign pontiff. let it be thus:
Command that these stones be made
breadr"
The pope was visibly and deeply af-
fected. He paid the builder muniicent-
" for his pvDpnspS of coming and CO.
ing, and instead of building his palace
he fed the hungry ones of his children.
Weekly Bouquet.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1900-05-26

Whitman's grandmother was
Quaker and the bard had been all his
life used, Quaker fashion, to sitting in
the house with his sombrero on if it
suited him to do so. One day, with a
friend, he entered the gloomy and half
empty precincts of Trinity church,
New York. and took a back seat in the
obscurity and for a moment forgot
to remove his hat or was probably just
about to do so when an ofiicous verger
stepped up and requested him to take
it Off.
Walt a man of immense pride, not
seeing fit to do so instantaneously or
being very slow in his mental proc
esses. was taking the matter into con-
sideration for a second when the
verger knocked the offending hat off
his head. Walt picked up the huge
felt and. doubling it together, smote
the fellow vigorously twice or thrice
with it ON the head and slowly left
the church, the red faced sexton fol-
lowing and threatening him with the
law.-Boston Transcript.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1900-05-26
AMERICAN IN SOUTH AFRICA.
Their Open Letter to American Ma
tionaI Conventions and Ameri
can People.

Special Gable Dispatch TO the New York Sun.
CAPE Town. May 16.-A number Of
Americans residing in South Africa are
sending an open letter to the American
national political conventions and to the
American people, it begins
1--WE. therefore, differing upon the mer-
its of the controversy eliminating in the
present war, entirely agree that the cause
Of humanity in Africa would be best
served by our fellow citizens in America
observing strict neutrality. AS Republi-
cans and Democrats we deeply regret the
efforts now being made in cur country to
drag this unhappy matter into politics,
recognizing that such course can bene-
fit neither belgerents, but is calculated to
prolong the strife by raising false hopes.
I'VE appeal to ali the political parties
in the United States in the name Of hui
mainly to refrain from cruelty playing
with the matter for political purposes,
believing that there is not, has not been
and never will be the slightest chance Of
our country departing from its traditional
policy by intervening in this foreign quar-
rel. We are convinced that if this truth
were fully realized in South Africa, as it
must eventually be, tho war would s2on
terminate and thousands Of life would be
saved Hence, we earnestly appeal to
the men of al parties to eliminate this
matter from the coming campaign"
The letter ended by saying "A large
majority of the Americans here desired 10
express sympathy with England, but to
o5tain unanimity we agreed to eliminate
all expressions of opinion on the merits Of
the war"
The letter is being signed by the most
influential Americans in the colony.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1900-05-26
PRODUCE.
General Markets,
Corrected erern nrtaon bn Alez. Eorl

New ofk. May Is.
FLOUR-State and western more active and
steader; Minnesota patents, S3.60a3.s5: win
ter straights, S}.i5a3.55; winter extras, S2.55a
2s5: winter patents, S36Oa3.s5.
WHEAT-Fairly active and stronger on
higher Paris cables and foreign buying, in
face of northwest rains; July, 72a72 5-l6c.; Sep
TENDER, 7256a131sc.
RYE-Steady; state, 5Sa59c, C. i. f., New
York, CARROTS; No. western, Gle, f. o. b..
af0at.
CORN-Also firmer on cable news, wet.
weather west, local covering and lighter coun-
try offerings; July, 4214a4@ 7-l6c.; September,
4219a42a4c.
OATS-Dull, but steady; track. white, state,
2Sa341ec.; track, white, western, 2Sa3i19c.
PORK-Steady; mess, Sl2al275 family,
Slla1A50.
LARD-Firmer; prime western steam
7.27kc.
BUTTER-Firm; state dairy, l5al9c.; state
creamery, l616a20c
CHEESE-Easy; fancy, large, white, 934c.:
fancy, small, white 9a9Ac
EGGS-Steady; state and Pennsylvania
l4al4l6c.: western. loss Off, l31aal4c.
SUGAR-Raw steady; fair refining. 3 1850;
centrifugal, o6 test, l5-39c.; refined firm;
crushed. 5.55c.; powdered, $500.
TURPENTINE-Steady at 5116a59c
MOLASSES-F Firm; New Orleans, 44a55c.
RICE-Firm; domestic, 41saG16c.; Japan,
i3la45sc.
TALLow-steady; city, 45sc.; country, 434a
SIC.
HAY-steady; shipping, 7Oa75c: good to
choice, sOa9Oc.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1900-05-26

Gossipping seems to be the order of the
day Gossip has made hell on earth.
Gossip has parted many husband and
wife. Gossip has blackened and sulIled
he character of many girls. Gossip has
parted many lovers who would have been
happy had it not been for it, One little
msstep or indiscretion will cause gossip
to arise with new strength and start on
her mission. Her did we say ? We ought
not to, tor we have male gossipers, and
as rule they are ten times as venomous
as female Though hard to believe by
some people,. A good healthy gossiper,
either religious or sinner, is about as
mean and low and dangerous as the
meanest thing on earth and should be
cassed with the brute species.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1900-05-26

Several years after the close of the
civil war a reception was held in
Lynchburg. Va, to commemorate some
national event. says V. Halsey in Lip
pincott's Magazine. Many men were
there assembled who had fought in the
war. Among them was major of a
Massachusetts regiment, who, meeting
General Jubal Early of the Confeder-
ate army, cordially greeted him.
Pointing to his own decorations, the
major said. "Ah. general, you see we
have all the crosses now.
Yes" replied the old general IN
olden times they hung thieves ON cross
es. Now they hang crosses on thieves"