West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1900-12-13

row about it. Under any other cir
cumstances l wouldn't do it, you
know"
"Ot course not. Go at once.
You may be able to save America
and get back home in two hours;
but, if not, don't think of me. As
an American woman, also born in
the State of Connecticut, am also
willing to make sacrifices. Put on
your hat and oyercoat and 90 right
along"
Mr.. Bowser went. He had heard
during the day that numbers OF
electors in his ward were wavering,
and the idea had come to him that
if he could bring these IS or 20
waverers over to his side liberty
might continue to do business at
the old stand for another four years.
His mission, then was TO hunt up
the wavering, and he found two of
them on the first corner. He knew
them for waverers the minute he set
eyes on them. They had that
thirsty, dubious and uncertain look
never seen with man who has
made up his mind and can't be
turned aside by mad dogs.
eyes, boss" they replied as he
addressed them, ode fact is we
don't know exactly how to vote.
We did think of votin' to bust dis
country all to smash, but deere
wasn't no beer in it. We's ready
now to save America, but we must
wet our throats."
"You shall wet them, gentlemen, "
said Mr.. Bowser. "Not only shall
you wet your throats, but when the
country has been saved | shall take
care that your efforts become
known. If you will step in with
me, gentlemen.
They stepped. They no; only
wet their threats and called Mr..
Bowser good fellow, but they
accompanied him on his travels and
hunted out other electors who were
wavering. The number was some
thing of a surprise. There were
three or four on every corner and
FIVE or six in front of every saloon.
Some few got over wavering after
one schooner of beer had been dis
posed of, but in the majority OF
cases it took two to stiffen their
spinal columns and brace their legs
for the shock of battle.
Mr.. Bowser would have preferred
pop or sarsaparilla, but his crowd
of patriots objected. In their
opinion, no man capable of saving
the country would turn to baby
drinks in the face of peril. He
therefore took beer, and if he lives
to be 1000 years old he will never
be able to remember whether it was
IA glasses or II barrels he drank.
For two hours he labored in the
vineyard as John Hancock labored
before Selling the goose quill and
affixing his signature to the Declare
ton of independence. Over Ioc
waverers were brought over anc
nailed fast, and the number woulc
have been doubled if his none,
had held out. He had spent hi
last cent when his family butche
happened to run across him anC
said
"See here, Bowser, YOU hav,
done enough for America and haC
better go home"
"Ish er country shaved ?" h,
anxiously asked
"She is"
"Bulwarks of liberty all rize ?"
"All right. Come along home
1t was an hour past midnight
but Mrs. Bowser and the cat wer,
still sitting up. Mr.. Bowser wa
steered through the gate and left {,
find his way up the steps. The,
lodged and wabbled a great deal
but he finally beat their tricks, ant
Mrs. Bowser opened the door 70
him and helped him into the sitting
room. AS he sat down on a chat
his head fell to one side, and h
stuck out his legs"
DWELL, is America to live on ?
she asked, after looking him over
America is ali rize-all rize,
he replied, as he tried to brace up
"And you saved her ?"
'I-have-shaved-her ="
"Then III 60 to bed and sleeI
content"
She left gas JET burning and lei
him as he sat. She had gone u
stairs when muGdled though
struck him that she would have
holt on him If be didn't say some
thing, and he called out: