The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-10-10

1t seemed he'd ever stay;
Till finally. in his old age
That lamb was led astray.
Some saucy "capers'' he did cut,
Twas shocking for to sec.
And next that friSky lamb appeared
AS ''MonSieur EricaSSee.
I;ut to assume a giddy guise
IN that old lamb was rash,
He humbly ended his career
As plain plebeian hash.
But Minnie couldn't shed a tear,
And wouldn't if she could.
Eut warbed GLORY hal Ia lu,
The lamb has gone for good.
What to Eat.
The late G. Z. Huntington. though he
never wore band on his hat Or a badge
on his breast to indicate who he was,
did great deal OF inspecting on his own
transportation lines, says the New York
Post. He once boarded an Oakland fer.
ryboat for San Francisco, and. being
hungry, strobe at once into the restaur-
ant and ordered beefstcak. Neither the
walters nor anybody else had an idea
who he was. and his steak was sent to
him, as it appeared to be to most OF the
customers, fried done to a crisp and very
"
looked around enough to satisfy himself
that that was about the style OF the cs-
tablishment. and then at his watch.
which told him that the cook had takei,
so long to spoil his steak that the boat
was almost due at the San Francisco
dock.
The only remark he made as he left
ing pile of money here" Nobody paid
any attention to him; but the proprietor
began to realize who he was on receiving
by the next mornings mail a few lines
from Mr.. Huntington to this general eff
feet:
The disparity between the food you
serve and the price you demand for II IS
so great that it is plain that your bust
ness must be extremely profitable. You
can, therefore, probably afford to pay
So per day per boat as easily as your
present rate. 81. The rate is raised ac-
cordingly.'
This is a great story. said the new
reporter. but | can't think of Il good
head for it. It's about IL trusted en-
ployer whose accounts We're found to be
crooked and when he was accused of i
dropped dead"
That's easy" said the snake editor,
helpfully; head it Died from Expos,
ure. philadelphia Press.
A Different Matter-Tom-'I paid Il
visit to Miss Sweety's house Yesterday,
and found her old man at home"
Dick-"Ha. What did the old bear
do? Kick you Out:'
Tom-"Oh, no. He was very polite;
asked me to call again"
Dick-"YOu don't mean it? Why, he
never lets anyone call on his daughter
Toni wasn't calling on her. | was
trying to collect a bill the old man owes
the firm. '-Philadelphia Press.
\ minister had his salary cut down
SlOO a year or so ago tand this was III
Western church, because his wife wore
Il handsomer gown than some of the
prominent women in the congregation.
The reason was given openly and the
matter found its way into public print
The fact that the wife's wealthy aunt
was the donor seemed to be of no CON
sequence, and the poor woman herself,
irritated and mortified at the publicity
given to her private affairs. succeeded
in persuadng her husband to withdraw
from the ministry Minister'S Wife
III the Ladies Home journal.
Catterson-"Look here, old man. Let
me tell you how manage my wife / al
ways give her money when she doesn't
want it, and when she does | refer to the
time when | offered it to her.
HattersGn-"That's fine scheme, but
it wouldn't work in my case
why nOt:''
well, I've never yet seen the time
when my wife didn't want money!
Harper's Bazaar.
Gratitude-Y Young Lady-"Give me
one yard of-why haven't l seen you
before" Drygoods Clerk-"Oh. Maud.
can you have forgotten me? /, saved
your life at the seaside last summer"
Young Lady (warmly)-'Why, of course
YOU did. You may give me two yards
of this ribbon, please. Boston Journal.
The Emperor of Germany is not pecu-
liar IN his dislike for long sermons, but
every victim of the lOng-winded preacher
is not privileged to speak his mind so
freely as William did OH one occasion.
relates the Chicago Chronicle. His mai
Csty few weeks ago said to Il celehrat-
ed but rather snowy and conceited Ger
man preacher:
Herr Pastor, please do not be offended
when | tell you that your sermons are
too long"
But, Your Majesty" replied the mas
tor, when [ get warmed to my subject
L forget everything and everybody and
get quite carried away, Your Majesty"
The Kaiser, who had had an hours
torture from the reverend gentleman that
very morning, CURLY answered:
Like you, sir, in one way-when you
preach | forget everything but unlike
You in another respect am not fortu-
nate enough to get carried away"
Fair Visitor-"SO you have really de-
cided not to sell your hOuse?" Fair Host
Yes. You see, we placed the matter
i'll the hands of a real estate agent After
reading his lovely advertisement of our
property neither John nor myself could
think of parting with such wonderful
and perfect home. "-Tit-B
The Chicago Evening Post certifes to
this instructive little sociological apologize:
Have you noticed" said the secretary
of the meeting to the treasurer, that the
little woman in the corner is the only one
who has suggested no beautiful theory
of child training?' "Oh, she hasn't
any" replied the treasurer "How does
that happen?' asked the secretary.
shes married and has children herself"
Cyrus Townsend Brady tells an anus
ing story in his "Recollections of Mis-
sionary in the Great West of a little boy
he knew on the frontier, who belonged to