Waterbury Democrat., 1900-11-03
AS YOU LIKE IT
Some Stray Leaves From A Reporters
 t--r Note Book.

Some Stray Leaves From A Reporters
 .4,r Note Book.
 In about one week people will be paying their election bets. The follow ing is one of the many unique wagers that have been made during this cam paign: If Bryan be elected Judge will repeat without charge every adver- tisement of at least quarter Of page in it's industrial number. In clrcu- lar letter making this offer Wlllet t. Cook, advertising manager of Judge, sends fac simile autographs of pronl- nent republicans who ordered the 1n- dustrial number in quantities."
 When George Fred Williams was talking about Porto Rico in the audi torium Friday night and asked the au- dience to imagine themselves the in habitants of Porto Rico, and likened the presidents who sat behind nm on the stage to the congress of the United States, eX-Postmaster Charles c. Commerford leaned back in his seat and remarked to a reporter who sut | near him that he had a mind to move | that Mckinley be impeached for his | disregard for the constitution in plant | ing the flag where the constitution can- | not go, and declaring war against | China without the consent Of this | body. and give the whole shooting match Hail Columbia for their inhu- | man treatment of the Filipinos. Tt | may be the only opportunity of our I life,''> he said, his sides splitting with | laughter, ito be heard in the White House. Go over and ask Congress- man Witkowski," pointing to Benja- min Nitkowski, who occupied a seat across the way, If he'll second my motion.' Its a big jump for the whole of us,' said F. B. Kelley. look ing over his shoulder and winking at | August Fiege when the speaker told the crowd to consider themselves con- | greSSmen.
 | Talking about the personals that ap pear in the daily papers, particularly the New York publications friend of the As You Like It man produced the following which he thinks are about as good as any of them: A German publisher inserted in many newspapers a ''personal saying that a rich poble- man of high rank desired to marry a lady who resembled the heroine of a novel that the publisher had just | brought out. Sales were immense, oX- | tra clerks were hired to handle the an- swers to the fictitious aristocrat adver- 1 tisement. This recalls q similar strata | gem of q Yankee tailor in Buenos Ayres. He announced that a young woman of beauty and fortune wished as q husband q man of pleasing pres ence and honorable character It was important that he should be stylish | dresser The Argentine swells did not stop to think that beautiful and wealthy girls do not, as a rule. have to seek husbands through the personal | column. The replies were numerous | and afforded to the tailor a fine list for circular distribution. He reasoned that the young men who would snap at such a bait could scarcely fail to be good customers. Several years ago , wag in Paris published in several jour nals the following: Leave the city at once. My husband has discovered ev- erTthing." That day the trains to Bel giun were all overcrowded.
 There was a Halloween party in town "Wednesday night that none of the reporters got hold of, and it was a good job for some parties who took part in it. The crowd consisted of q dozen or more couples, and after try ing different games they concluded to go out and have some sport with the neighborS. They had not gone far when they met an old man with what they supposed to be a pail of beer in his hand. and one of the girls "stumped" him to set 'em up. The old gentleman was not in the right frame of mind for fOOling and passed on nut tering something which one of the dap per young fellows regarded as an of fense. and he wheeled after the man with the pail and took him by the coat collar and wanted to know what he had said Then the whole crowd. girls and all, hocked around and started to pull the young man away. but before they succeeded the old fellow had emptied the contents of the pail. which by the way happened to be quart of molasSes. onto the gallant youngsters head. and stood at one side of the s,re2t cursinS and swearing like a mad man. Meanwhile the molasses was tHckllng all over the young fellows head and face, and the girls got so ex- cited over the affair that they ran back 10 the house, screaming as if they were being pursued by spook, leaving the molasses man to take care of himself as best he could.
 Dr Croffut of Washington. D. C.. who spoke here during the present week for the democrats, is good talk CT and capital story teller. When he had the audience almost spellbound so that any thing he might say would have evoked applause, he thought it a good time to spin one of his yarns. He was telling about a fellow named Smith who is doing some missionary work in this state for f1ie republicans
 and quoted one of Smiths remarks
 which was to the effect that trusts in themselves are not bad. Well" he exclaimed, looking about him as if he
 had heard that the hall was going tc
 topple to the ground, "who ever heard of such a saying. Trusts are not bat in themselves. That's true, that:
 true, but the trouble with them is tha they don't stay in themselves. The, are far reaching and the people of thi 1 fry hnm nmi1 Ia