The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
Mr.. BowsER's TRlBUlaTIogs.
He Gets Another Whiri at the Bike, with
the I.gal Result


While the Bowsers were eating DINER
the other e-eaiHg a Package was left al
the d9or. ami n trey aejournes. IrunI tina
table II the fsmilT sitting room sfr Bow
ser opened II and brought forta a sweat.
CT. rsiT nf knee pants. helt, and a pair
Ct bicycle shoes and stockinsg.
who are they fory" asked Mrs Bow
ser. as he displayed the articles with a
smile OF satisfaction.
They won't ~ YOU. ana I diin't buy
them FOR the cook he replied
But II they are for you. what on earth
do you want Of EN-? Three different times
within the last two years have you al
riost killed yourself trying 10 ride 3 bike.
You VIII never re able to Go Il II you live
70 be a thousand years old"
Won't I? And why not. please? An.
the only person in the United States
VINO can learn TO ride a wheel7'
''Hou-ycu are too fat" she PROTESTED
, too tat. and your legs are too short.
You are what they call clumsy. / dent
Soy Il 10 hurt your feelings. but you
Exactly. Mrs. Bowser.' he interrupted.
Il understand your motive. You don't
want to hurt ny feelings, but you DO want
TO convey the impression that am an old
ThlnOceTos on wheels or an elephant on
skates. I thank you very much, and
viii remember il OF you
But on have tried the bike and been
almost killed"
I'm CARELESS, casual way I have tried
the bike. | tried it as a novelty and not
for my health. / had no interest or am
b.uOn. Odds was the difference to me
whether ] ran up a tree or over an ice
wagon Ny failures were not failures.
simply fell of the bike and staid or -
And Is 1t your health this timer" she
asked.
Purely question OF health. Mrs. Bow
ser. l am going to ride the bike TO save
doctor ana drug store bills Brown has
kindly volunteered the use of his wheel
ana l have Joined the Zephyr Cub. We
take orr first spin this evening Each
spin saves a Doctors bill. Have You any
thing more u say?'
Nothing more"
Then | will 90 upstairs and get into
this suit"
Ten minutes later he came down rigged
out as a Zephyr. Mrs. Bowser was an
noyed and perturbed. but when she caught
slSnt or him she had 20 laugh. II was as
If bicycle suit had been put on a cider
barrel. The cat came In from the back
yard and took one look at the Zephyr and
then made dive under the lounge.
something seems 10 appeal to your
sense Of humOr," sternly remarked Mr..
BoWser as he sat down TO put on his shoes.
/ was thinking of Zephyrs." replied Mrs
BoWser as she choked back a laugh.
Very Kind Of you, and you shall be re-
Warded in due time. l might have known
just how you would act about it, When
ever the question of my health comes up
you are so set and obstinate that only
one conclusion can be reached You long
TO be a widow"
Il hadn't heard that there was anything
wrong with your health"
And why hadn't you? Simply because
l am one OF those men who can suffe- for
years and years and never make a com
plant. If l should tell you what the doc
tor told me the other day you'd be aston
ished. Perhaps ii will be news TO you TO
hear that have been on the edge Of the
grave for the last three years"
But now you are going to get away
from the edge?'
Il am"
BY running your bike into a curbstone
and being sprawled all over the side
Walk?"
DJ thuhder, woman, shouted Mr..
BcWser. as he sprang up and danced
around, do you want TO aggraVate me
till l do something desperate? When did
l ever run a bike into the cur5stone?
When did / ever sprawl all over the side
walk? l understand your motive IN seek
inS to discourage me, but the plan won't
work. / snail so out on the bike for 4
spin. As a member OF the Zephyr Club, /
shall be AT the front. l viii ride and ride
ard ride l viii not only ride for the
sake Of my health, but | will gambOI
around to set revenge on you Every
evening for the next three months-fnr
the next three years, ten years. viii
take a ten-mile spin"
Mrs BOwsar sighed, but said no more.
tie mad no sooner left the house than
she looked ABOUT to see that there We're
-sHW puB 'uLOqS}LBq 'IoqdWB0 '&pugIq
tard in TIE house. Brown was waiting
with the bicycle at the gate, and he said
to Mr. ROWser:
You have fifteen minutes yet before