The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-08-17

49,
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OEnef Slfl. BrldSet-INat was my in
! tenshun, any way. l want to know the
kond ov /: woman ye are"-Bazar.
Financial Tommy: Ma-Tommy,
you seem to love pa better than you do
me. Tommy-Oh, ma, | don't mean
to; but ye' see, pa allus has his pockets
full O. nickels.- Journal.
| Flavilla-There are only two kinds
of bachelors. Myrtilla-And who are
they: Flavilla-Those who are too
timid to propose, and those who are
too courageous:-Indiana Journal.
| School Teacher-What little boy can
tell me where is the home Of the swal-
low: Bobby kin, please. School
Teacher-Well, Bobby? Bobby-The
home Of the swallow is the stummick.
| -Tit-Bits
Highly Colored: Lady-You have
been drinking rum. Sandy Pikes-Not
drop, mum. Lady-But how did you:
nose get so red? Sandy Pkes-From
| drinking circus lemonade, mum.-Chi-
! cago News.
| Adjoining the Nursery: Mr. Brcktop
! (who has hit his thumb with a hammer)
| - ~ iii Mrs. Bricktop--
john Remember the children! If you
! must use such language, why don't you
spell it:'-Town Topics.
Il nebber could IN stan'.' said Uncle
| Eben, why it is dat finds so much
| mo satisfaction in marchn' fob miles,
hollerin' 'hurrah,' dan l does walking
| few f'lrlongs benin mule, suyin'
'gidicp. "-Washington Star.
do you so away this summer, Mrs.
| Noods?' "Oh. yes; we spend two
weeks in Michigan with my people, and
two weeks in Ohio with my husbands
people; then we come home and let
them visit s."--Indianapolis Journal
Smith-If there is anything l dislike
| it is Il shallow man. JOHes--Yes, but
there is one thing in his favor. Smith
Ia like to know what it is Jones-A
shallow man doesn't require rs much
watching rs deep one.-Chicago
News.
In England they say I r.,.n stands
for otiice. In this country We say
man runs for Office. Why is this?''
well. tie principal reason is that if d
man stood for office over here he'd
never get one.'-Chicago Times Her
aid.
Wife-Oh. John: | was shopping at
Joblotz to-day, and saw just the
sweetest thing there Husband
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. That's a great
scheme of Joblotz to have mirrors
all through the store-Philadelph
Press.
Tried to Obey: Papa-Aha! You have
disobcycd me. Willie-l tried not to.
1t isn't my fault. Papa-Not your fault.
ell: Willie-No, sir. You said, Don't
let me catch you at that again." an |
done my best not to let you.-Philadel-
ph;; Press.
Early Ambition: "Oh! NAH good
ness" exclaimed little Abe Lincoln
Snow. II visit wuz laik de little boy
in dis hyar storybook.' "Whuffer?'
asked his mother ''Kase hit SEE he
went to bed wifi de Chickens '-Phila-
delphia Press.
Equivocal Comment: This said the
funeral DIRECTOR" is the very latest in
caslsets; what do you think of it:''
SWELL" said the cigar man from next
door, after Il long study Of the article,
I'd hate to be seen dead in it."-In-
dianapolis Press.
Cupids Bunker: The Tiftington-
Smith wedding is Off" How dreadful.
What's the reason"' "Oh, Miss Tiffing-
ton wanted her name in three sizes
larger type than his on the announce
mcnt cards. and he wouldn't have it,"
Indianapolis Journal.
Consistent, ut Any Rate: "Why,
Dolly, where's Marie? 1 thought you
We're playing circus" ''Well, she got
mad and went home, cause l wouldn't
give her any peanuts. I was the mon
key and she was the tiger, and tigers
don't eat peanuts. "-Bazar.
\ shop-keeper wrote to one Of his
customers as follows: Il am able to
offer you cloth like the inclosed sample
at half 4 crown a yard. In case I do
not hear from you, I shall conclude
that you wish to pay only two shillings
a yard In order to lose no time, I &C.
ccpt the last mentioned price. Tit
Bits.
HodoWn-I understand your wife in
sisted on drawing the plans herself for
your new house. Jigsup-Yes, she's
busy over there now. Hodown-Oh, l
thought she had finished. She told nv
wife she had all the closets laid out.
Jigsup-Yes, but now she's got to put
the rest of the house around them
Philadelphia Press
Client don't think you ought to
charge so much for your services. You
knew from the start that it would be
impossible for you to win the case.
Lawyer-And for that very reason /
ought to be paid more than I ask. It
takes talent to abstract matter for ar
gument from 4 case which has nothing
in it.-Boston Transcript.
oh. we had the lov-1iest arrange
ment at our church soc,ery last week!