The daily sentinel., 1900-07-30

When China gets her just deserts
From small Japan again,
Twill know just how and where it hurts
To look like 80 ven.
-Gazoot.
In place of crying over spilled milk it
is better to chalk it up to profit and
loss.
Probably the principal reason hen
lays an egg is because she is unable to
stand it up.
A good many people whose grammar
10 ordinarily all right still go around say
ing "sa achet"- bag.
A Chicago man has discovered cure
for insomnia in the shape OF eight grairs
Of morphine taken just before retiring
The fact that grasshoppers arc eating
up the Nebraska corn crop is another
blow to the present Imperialistic admin
istration.
The fact that Hobpken astrologer
has predicted the election of Bryan will
no doubt cause Consideration in the
ranks OF the republican party.
At q dance at the Armory the other
night the wife Of one of our enterprising
local milkmen was becomingly and sp.
propriately attired in watered elk.
When fellows wife begins to spoon
around he takes it for granted that it is
only a forew srning Of the near approach
OF the time when he will be requested to
fork over.
Simultaneous with the arrival OF q
train load Of sewing machines in town
comes the issuance OF more marriage IL
censes than has been known in Mesa
county in many years.
An article on "Can Rich Man Enter
Heaven" is given prominence in a recent
issue Of a yellow journal, but it is not
likely that many Grand Junction people
will be particularly interested in it.
After patiently waiting for nearly two
hours for the corpse to put in an appear
ance at an Alton, ILL.,. funeral the other
day, the guests reluctantly retired with
out seeing what they had figured on.
Harry Hull and Bertha Thing were
married in an Iowa town the other day
and like all other new married folks they
will no doubt imagine themselves to b
the Hull Thing until tho edge wears of
Railway baggagemen are now in ses-
sion at Milwaukee for the purpose oi
forming q national organization and the
dear passsngers' trunks will probably
hereafter be handled more independently
than ever.
| A sock claimed to have been worn
once by Robert Burns was recently sold
at auction in London for $16 43. There
are people right here in Grand junction
who would readily dispose OF a whole
pair at half the price.
The Chicago police declare they will
stop flirting in the city parks at all haz-
yards" and prominent paper Of that
city rudely suggests that the example
would be a good one to set to others who
are tempted to do the same thing.
1t 10 stated of certsin prominent 90
ciety young lady that every time she
opens her mouth she puts her foot in it,
and tho only question to arise as regards
the truth Of the statement is about the
respective sizes Of the organs referred
to.
Aguinaldo was killed in yesterday g
issue Of the Kopjvills Excuse in une type
at the bottom of column next to . pat
ent medicine advertisement Such care
less disposition OF news in which the pub
lie is 80 profoundly interested should be
severely reprimanded by the State Press
Association.
Closely following the statement that
Tsrrs Haute, Ind. has q Mushroom
Club" composed OF swell society people
whose object is to go on mushroom hunt
ing expeditions, comes the report from
Paris KY, Of tho organization Of COM
bined Toadstool aud Pussy in the Cor
nsr society.
The Aurora Borealis poet OF the Ga
zoot started to write dfty-four verse
poem like this but never got beyond tho
first stanza:
There was young man from out west
Who started to pull down his vest;