The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-09-23
.TEIH CANTERBURY Tales
SOME PRODUCTS OF CRUISER
PERHAPS HUMOROUS
CHANCE FOR CHAUCER NO. 2
Fhe Products of the Brains Of Al
Quaint and Curious COIIec-
ton OF Genial Pre-
VuFicatOrs.

Chaucer being now some little time
dead. his mantle may be looked upon
as at the disposal of any one who be-
heves himself possessed Of great gift
for telling a good yale N strong and
humorous verse, says the Pail Mall Ga
Eette. 1t may be that one worthy to
wear the mantle is alive today and vain
~ casting about him for Il fitting theme
upon which, like a golden thread, to
string his pearls of rhyme. If that be
the case, would venture to suggest
that instead of celebrating the doings
and sayings of imaginary frequenters Of
q problematieal inn, the modern Cbaucer
seize upon the wardroom of a cruiser
and the denizens thereof He will find
a den inhabited by a quaint and curious
collection of genial prevaricators, who
will tell him tales until he realizes that
the fair ScheheFazade of Arabian Nights
fame, was suffering and tongue tied.
The poet will need to do little IN the way
of invention; he will require no magma
ton. The wardroom officers will furnish
all the rhyme. From Sub I'd mo. L
they are all truthful men (the marine,
or, IS he is called aboard ship soldier"
VIZ SuUSlelAlidlS every NOf0t5 III IdEt, L
am convinced the truth does not lie at
the bottom of a well, but under the table
of wardroom. 1 realize that a young
poet IS peculiarly averse to advice but
IF he VIII accept a hint, here it is. AS
titles to his various tales, use the ward
room nomenclature. For instance:
THE JUNIOR AsSASSIN's TALE
or oo,,rsa ox,o-,, ono I,r,- 81 Al,
doctor is called the Assassin, ard his
assistant the Junior Assassin aboard her
majesty's navy. In the particular case
of which 1 write the Junior Assassin
WAS sometimes miscalled THE Publ
can for he kept the wine bill of he
wardroom. Well. here's the Junior AS
sassins tale:
This morning one of the bluejackets
called on me, and holding out his up
turned palm, said: Would you look at
this ere. sir?' 1 looked, and saw a mum
her Of small glittering particles i'll his
horny fist
We'll. what are they and what of
them l asked.
Wat are they sir? Theys the gold
filings out o. my bloomin' teeth, sir
Ships biscuits. sir. 'Arder than the
pawn tones of Piccadiily. SIR =
The Junior Assassin paused
We'll what did You do for him."
asked.
Couldn't do anything for him at TIE
, moment Could only advise him to make
IS the best of it until the weevils got into
= the biscuits, when the eating is much
easier
Certified to by the marine officer who
was there and saw everything.
The chief engineer Gknown only as the
chief was a patient, long suffering man,
who had spent many nights sitting by
hsa hnd nf ,iri,n
boiler. which kept on bursting bIoodves-
sells and getting the death rattle In its
thousand threats. He had reconciled
sort OF spirit, knowing full well that
he would be called to stop leak at
thiTty-seven and half minutes past any
hour of the blessed night or day for the
TEST of his natural life His only envy
was the man who could sleep undisturb-
ed through the whole night. So he
told tale.
THE CHIEFS TALE
did you ever happen to meet Bui-
strobe, chief engineer of the Bombastfc?
No? Well, he had the placid, even, I'M
emotional temperament that would TO the
Lord we had all inherited. When I was
assisting him in the Provocation, L re-
member well one night sending d man I'D
to him TO report the gradual disappear
ance of the vacuum in our air pumps
Knocking at Buistrode's door, the man
sang out:
=" Please, sir, the vacuum is de-
creas4ng.'
'''rhe answer came back i'll drowsy
voice:
All right. Report to rae if it gets
lower
Half an hour later tbs tuan asa:n
raped at the door.
& The vacuum is much lower, sir
Very good. Tell me II it gets still
lower
-Afier another half hour:
:" Mr.. Bulstrode, the yaauuna's- soao,
An right; report to nc if 1T coares
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