davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
THE sECTS AND THE WORLD

By Cowper.
 Thus says the prophet of the Turk: .sGood Mussulman, abstain from pork; There is a part in every swine No friend or follower of mine May taste, whateer his inclination, On pain of communication Such Mahomets mysterious charge, And thus he left the point at large. Had he the sinful part expressed, They might with safety eat the rest; But for one piece they thought 1t hard From the whole hog to be debarred, And set their wit at work to find What joint the prophet had in mind. Much controversy straight arose. These chose the back, the belly those; But some 'tiS confidently said
 He meant not to forbid the head, While others at that doctrine rail, And piously prefer the tail. Thus, conscience freed from every clog, Mohammedans eat up the hog. You laugh-'tis well; the tale applied May make you laugh on t'other side. Pronounce the world" the preacher cries; we do," multitude replies; While one as innocent regards A song and friendly game of cardS And ene whatever you may say Can see no evil in play;
 Some love a concert, or a race: And others shooting and the chase. Reviled and loved, reneunced and followed, Thus, bit by bit, the world is swallowed; Each things his neighbor makes too free,~ Yet likes a slice as well as he: ss5s With sophistry their sauce they sweeten, ll-quite from tail to snout 'tis eaten.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
HAS HAD ENOUGH WAR

Iondon-The Duke of Marlborough will shortly return from the war. He promised the Duchess when leaving that he would return in six months, if the war was not finished before. He has overstayed that period, as he was unwilling to come until he had seen fighting. This he has now done at the Zand river.
 The Duchess came up to London from Blenheim this week. Her children will fol- low next week. She is residing at Warwick house, which she has taken for the season.
 Work on the new mansion In Curzon street, for which the site was cleared be- fore the Dukes departure, has been stop- ped, pending his arrival home. The foun- dations have been excavated, but building has not commenced.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
LUTHERAN SYNOD
Rev. J. B. Greiner of Virginia. Was
 Elected President

Charlotte, N. C., May H-The United Lu- theran Synod, which represents the whole south, today elected Rev.. J. B. Greiner, of Rural Retreat, Va, president for the next two years.
 Two sessions of the synod will be held daily, and it will likely take until Satur- day night or Monday to transact the busi- ness of the body. At night addresses will be delivered by the members on important subjects.
 The Lutheran bodies south of Mason and Dixon's line belonged to the general synod until 1862, when the civil war caused a split The southern synods then organized a general synod south, which has since been merged into the body now in session. the United Synod of the Lutheran church.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
BoerS in America

The Boer commissioners have arrived at time when their cause at home is on its last legs; for no one believes, not even Genral Botha or President Kruger that can be stayed.e The railroad is nearly re- paired, and supplies will soon be poured into Kroonstad, and then the march to Pretoria will be begun. The United States has no territorial rights in South Africa, as she has in South America. This coun- try is ready at the drop of hat to inter- fere if European nations meddle with af- fairs in South America, but in South Africa we would be out of our Jurisdiction. The Boer commissioners will therefore have to content themselves with individual expressions of sympathy and opinion. These will not of course help the Boers in material sense, however consoling they may in an immaterial sense.
 But the commissioners can inspect the districts that have been offered to their countrymen when the foot of the Briton treads their home soil. They can go to Missouri and Kansas and Arkansas; but if they are wise they will turn to the gar- den spot of America and the world. We need scarcely say that that garden spot is geographically known as North Alabama. It extends from Fruithurst on the east through Birmingham to Tuscumbia on the
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
GENERAL wnErLnR sPR1NTER

From the Augusta Chronicle.
 General Joe Wheeler, 1.-the and agile as panther. stepped jauntiy from a car on Capitol Hill and tripped off toward the big building at a lively gait. A mddle-aged congressman, an unidentified Alabama ad- mirer, and a fat squat reporter, large of girth and of jowl, tried to keep up with the little grzzled old fighter. The sun was boiling hot and the asphalt walk had be- come soft and spongy under the blistering sky. The general quickened his pace from the start, and before he had made half the distance he was running. The unidentified Alabama admirer gave up the chase in a jiffy. The fat, squat reporter soon followed suit. The middle-aged congressman found 1t convenient to halt at the nod of a friend who going in the opposite direction. General Wheeler dashed on into the big journalist had sufficiently regained his breath to articulate he said to the unidenti- fled Alabamian: "If General Wheeler ran that fast in his pursuit of Agunaldo I don't see why he didn't catch him. How does the old man manage to keep so active, any how?' The question onis .St-ysified the Alabama visitors admiration for the fam ous little general Gosh, man!' calculated the Alabamian between gasps. Joe Wheeler takes bath every day."
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
Also a Wage Famine

London, May H.-The secretary of state for India. Lord George Hamilton, presid- ing at meeting of the Indian section of the society of art today, referring to the terrible effects of the famine, said:
 ''It must not be forgotten that it Is a wage famine as well as a food famine. Therefore, it presses more heavily on the people than before. and 1t is the duty of the government to try .S multiply and diversity the industries of India. With this view the Indian government was piac- ing dentracts in India wherever possible, not with brokers, but with actual pro- ducers."
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
OUR ARM0R PLANT COMING NEARER

From the New York Journal
 The Armor Plate trust is not going to have everything it's own way in congress Yesterdays action of the senate was not all that the opponents of the trust had hoped for, but it was vast improvement on the proceedings of the house. The sen- ate adopted an amendment to the naval appropriation bill allowing the secretary of the navy to contract for armor for all the ships under construction or authorized at a price not exceeding $445 per ton, and in the event of his inability to buy armor at that rate permitting him to pay not more than $545 per ton for the amount needed for the Maine, Missouri and Ohio, and requiring him at once to proceed to the construction of a government armor plant. The vote on the adoption Of this amend ment was g to 19 But this does not rep resent the strength of the armor plant proposition in the senate, for the nineteen opponents of the amendment voted against it becaise they wanted the plant construct ed immediately, regardless of what the tsust might do Hence it nay Dc said that the senate is unanimously in favor of put ting tho government in position to make it's own armor if the private manufacturers refuse to come to terms.
 It is not at all likely that the house will stand out against this senatorial unanimi- ty. majority of the representatives want a government armor plant themselves but by committee juggling their desires were suppressed at the time of the original pas sage of the bill. And if the house should try to strike out the amendment the sen ate would undoubtedly refuse to yield. In the debate on Saturday Senator Tillman recalled last years contest, when the house insisted on striking out the senate provis- ion for an armor factory, and significantly remarked
 "I had it in my power as an individual there were only eight hours from then until F o'clock on the 4th of March, when the session would die-to have made the house come to our terms or defeat the ap- propriation bill. Senators on the other side, leading senators, came to me and said: "Tillman, let this thing go through, and next winter we will establish an armor factory l will not mention any names l simply say that some of those senators promises to me That, however, is their lookout and not mine."
 Tillman is not the man to be taken in a second time in the same way The armor plant will stay in this time or the re- publican members of congress will have to give up the idea of an adjournment before the meeting of the republican national convention in June.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
Census of Cuba

The war department has published the re- pamphlet This pamphlet shows that the six provinces of the island contain 1,572, ,797 inhabitants. It is estimated tht the island lost directly and indirectly about 100000 peo- pie on account of the wars that resulted in separation from Spain.
 l The density of population is 357 to the square mile, or about the same as the state of Iowa. and for that matter of Ala bama Habana province is densely popu- lated, having 15S inhabitants to the square mile, but pastoral Puerto Principe province has but six inhabitants to the square mile. All the provinces except Puerto Principe are well populated.
 The cities in order of population are; Ha- bana containing 2S5,9S1 people; Santiago, 43,09O; Matanzas, 36,374; Cienfuegos, SO,OsS; Puerto Principe, 25 1O2, and Cardenas, 21,94O. There are seven other towns which contain each more than 10000 people. The propor- tion of urban population is about three per ceill. greater lndn IL IS III tHe oHlleu States. The island is full of towns, there being ninety-nine containing 1000 or more inhabitants each.
 The municipal district is the political unit in Cuba, there being no city boundaries. The municipal district corresponds to county in Alabama. For the convenience of government the municipal district Is divided into barrios or wards. Each dis trict has municipal council which governs the district, subject to the governor of the province and the military governor of the island The councils secretary is, how ever, appointed by the military governor of the island The governor of the province or the military governor of the island can at pleasure suspend remove all officers of the municipal districts
 The 132 municipal districts are punched into six provinces, over each of which an officer of the army presides. The governors of the six provinces are of course in touch with the governor general, who is also an American army officer The entire govern heh' Would De essentially or a military na- ture if the Mark Hannas of the country would keep their fingers out of the pie The recent rascalities were unearthed by officers of the army, and if really honest govern- ment is desired in Cuba the American part of it should be exclusively of a military nature. The civilian official from Ohio is not to be trusted away from home and if is best not to trust him freely at home
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
An Exchange of Foreign Ports

good story, apropos of the visit of the Japanese prince is being told in Paris about a former Japanese embassy which came to France to arrange about three free ports which were to be opened to trade in Japan and France respectively, says the Shipping World. The French minister for foreign affairs chose Yokohama, Yeddo and Han-Yang. The Japanese ambassador Japan signhed that she had selected the three French ports of Havre, Marseilles and Southampton. The French foreign of- flee went into fits of laughter at this blun- der, and pointed out that Southampton in England.
 We are perfectly aware of it. replied the Japanese ambassador "and Han-Yang is in Koreai'
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
FRIENDLY RIVALRY

From the Anniston Star
 Of course Birmingham is larger than An niston,-but Anniston is growing and so is Birmingham. Both have advantages pos the interest of the two are closely allied There is of course spirit of rivalry, but it is of the friendly sort, and each re- joices in the prosperity of the other Here's to Birmingham and her street fair.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
The Reason Why He Fought

No ecclesiastic is better known at the front in the Boer war just now than the bishop of Natal. From the beginning of the campaign he has kept pace with the move- ments of General Buffers army in order to minister to the living and perform the last offices for the dead. Asked by an off, ficer high in rank if he had ever heard before of an English bishop on a battle- field, his retort was:
 .'Did you ever hear of an English bishop whose diocese was invaded by enemy?'
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
REFLECTIONs OF A BACHELOR
From the New York Press.

From the New York Press.
 Half of the average woman's "excuses'' are only reasons"
 People can never fall so deep in love that their ears won't stick out.
 When a woman is in love she can never pass a knock-kneed cat without getting tears in her eyes.
 You would think by the fuss some women make that they expected you to believe they had never been kissed before except " theu mothSiSs %S{T% ktG .,---S n.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

nominee for that office, is at the Morris, where Hon. William J. Sanford also Is stopping.
 Hon. John V Smith of Russell, state solicitor for the Third judicial circuit, is in town.
 Colonel Albert Fillmore of Elmore is visit ing his daughter, Mrs. Anderson, in this city.
 Clyde Shropshire of New York is at the Morris
 J. P. Tabb of Baltimore is at the Morris
 Representative Wallace of Madison is in town.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

Spain's weakness is basic She clings to a plan that calls for a small educated class and a large mass of illiterates There is no hope for country made up in that way Alabama should take warning.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

The Khedive of Egypt is coming to this country, and the country will welcome His Serene Highness, but he should remember that outside of Utah and our province of Sulu harems are not popular in this coun- trxy
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

President McKinley's carpetbag politi- clans in Cuba will soon do their core spondence from the jails of the island, ex- cept those that escape and cannot be ex- tradited.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

The missionaries not yet justified in making contracts based on the s9O, 900 the Turk owes them. He may conclude to owe 1t several years longer.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
HOW TO FOOL FEM

From the Atchison Globe
 Some of the women are complaining that the initiation fee of s5 to the Golf club is excessive. Make it $4.9S and they will decide if is very reasonable
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

The capital of the Orange Free State is here today and there tomorrow. No capi- tai appropriations are required under such circums tances.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

Chicago politicians are trying to ascer- tain whether Son Harrison intends to run for governor against Son Yates. The Son business is very popular in Illinois.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

The ofice-holders are the most conspicu- ous patrons of republican conventions. Southern conventions are simply gatherings of them.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

The Philadelphia messenger boy will have to be faster than his town or messenger boys in general if he beats Lord Roberts into Pretoria.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
THE SIX LEADING ACTORS

From the New York Sun.
 Probably the six leading actors of the world are Constant Coquelin, Friedrich Haase, Henry Irving, Jean Mounet-Sully, Ludwig Possart and Tommaso Salvni.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

This year, in the regular succession, it is again the turn of the democrats to car ry Indiana. In a straight fight upon living issues they would certainly do it. There is no state in the union where the Porto Rican policy of the republicans in con- gress evoked such bitter and lasting hos tility in that party as in Indiana. rPresi- dent McKinley's retrocession in civil serv- ice reform has alienated from him the inde- pendent vote which helped to give him the state four years ago. The Nicely defalca- tion scandal further discredits the admin istration.
 But Indiana is a sound money state It has enormous industrial, commercial and financial interests dependent upon sound and staple currency. Its plurality for Me- Kinley-three times as great as the aver age majority in the preceding five elections was repeated in 1898. The chairman of the Indiana state democratic committee recently warned the headstrong national leaders that a 16 to 1 platform would Close the party ten votes for every one it would gain" in that state.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

The Cuban postal funds were footed on the American plan, the old Spanish plan being both slow and comparatively unre- muneratiYe.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
SHORT STORIES
 OF THE DAY
No occasion to Advertise

There are probably no two men in AL bany so nearly alike and so much unlike as ex-Governor David B. Hill and Governor Theodore Roosevelt, relates the Saturday Evening Post. Both men are fighters. al- though their methods differ. Both are brave and eloquent, and each received his office from a political party with which he in many respects differed. The two gover- nors often meet. and there is usually a little quiet fun between them when they come together. Both men have the gift of saying sharp things. Not long ago the New York newspaper men gave banquet at Stanwix hall in Albany, and among the guests of honor were the two governors. Colonel Roosevelt came first. He wore an evening suit and his famous brown sombrero made famous by the Rough Riders. It was a combination cos tune at once original and picturesque. Among the last of the guests to arrive was MT. Hill, who was conventionaily at- tired even to his silk hat.
 "Ahr' exclaimed Colonel Roosevelt In his peculiar staccato manner, as he grasp ed Mr Hills hand, now we have with us a real Albany swell. Governor Hill is the only man here tonight with silk hat
 i've got slouch hat myself returned Mir Hill softly, but I left 1t at home. I've given up wearing it since I went out of the advertising business"
 Then dinner was announced, and the re- mainder of the evening passed pleasantly.
 Sympathy that Was Wasted
 A little girl of or years with big blue eyes that were full of tears, came to Belle vue hospital, New York, the other day, says Leslie's Weekly. She carried cat in her arms The cat had been wounded by a street car, and one leg was badly mangled. At the gate the girl told Tom. the big policeman, that the cat was hurt.
 q want a doctor to hep it' she said.
 Tom took her to the receiving ward, where there was a doctor who had nothing else todo.
 Here's case doc," said the policeman.
 q ain't a. the doctor began. Then he saw the girls eyes. Let me see,' he cotinued.
 Pretty bad" was the doctors comment Then he got some knives, little bottle of chloroform, and some bandages. You must help me- he said to the girl.
 She aided bravely, though it made her very pale to see the sharp knives ampu- ta ting the leg. In few minutes it was all over and the cat was partly recovering from the anesthetc.
 Now you can take your kitty home with you," the doctor said.
 'It ain't mine," the girl said. q des found it. Now % take care of it. Dood- by"
 The policeman and doctor made faces at each other then sent the cat to the So- ciety for the Prevention of Cruelty to Anil mals.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

Beauty is only skin deep, and the homli est man in congress has been renominatet for a fifth term.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

Spanish colonial officials were angels alongside Ohio politicians of the Mark Han na stripe.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

MT. Hanna's carpetbaggers need diseipin- ing inside penitentiary walls.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

All northern towns received liberal slices of the high May temperature. Birming- hams climate is in the summer resort class.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

The social ostracism of the trust mag mates does not proceed apace-not by a large majority.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

Butler. 25o miles away, is trying to bea Lord Roberts to the goal.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

Men pass from politics to the lecture plat form. but no one has been able to reverse the process. not even John James Ingalls,
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

Mark Hanna's Cuban squad needs relief much more than Mafeking does.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

Postal Agent Medley is heeled for a big legal battle. The Cubans furnished the money.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

The Cubans are receiving several lessons in practical politics
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

Even Butler has learned the turning method of advance.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

The American politician is at his worst when carpetbaggng.
The age-herald., 1900-05-18

Rathborne is the full flower and blossom of Hannaisn
The age-herald., 1900-05-18
ANOTHER PENDULUM STATE

T 1NIW IU1h
 Indiana, like New York has swung from one party to the other with the regularity of a pendulum. This is the record of the last seven presidential elections:
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-24
THE KIRON CHRONICLE

Another railroad accident occurred
near Kiron Tuesday night About
three miles west of Klron the east
bound freight had four cars and the
caboose derailea. The occupants
OF the caboose were the conductor, one
brakeman and safe agent, W. j.
Jamison, of Council Bluffs. All were
badly shaken up and bruised consider
ably but no one was seriously hurt
The cars and track were demolished
fairly we'll. This makes the fourth
mishap near Kiron on this road.
Peter Naslund went to Pomeroy Ia,
Wednesday morning, where he expects
to remain for a period of time.
Miss Ella Miller visited Boyer Tues
day afternoon accompanying a friend
who had visited her and now being on
her way home to Denison.
j. Turnblad and family of Dow City,
are guests this week at the home of
John Erickson.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-24
BUCK GROVE LETTER

Dr. Carr was business visitor in
town one day last week. 6
Bertha Miller went to Denison last
Sunday.
S. Peterson goes to Des Moines next
week to visit friends and attend the
fair.
Roy Wiblishouser of Denison, spent
Sunday last in town.
Marie Gigax is home from Denison
where she has been visiting for the
past week.
Mrs. E. Thew went to Denison Thurs
day to visit a sister whom she had not
seen for thirty years.
Bicknell Brothers left the fore part
of the week for Lake Okoboji for a
three weeks outing.
Byon Iseminger is building a barber
shop on the corner of Main and Hagen
streets.
MIR. w. Hawkett is working for j.
| Welsh in til. shop at present.
Henry Tillett and wife have been
enter. aiming friends for the week past
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1900-08-24
How to Have Genius Rewarded.
The artist was heWailing his luck.

The artist was bewailing his luck.
my paintings are gems" he said.
Even the critics admit that, but l
can't get any prices for them"
"Of course not" returned the man of
Ehsiness. You see, the trouble with
you is that you are alive, and genius
is rewarded only after death. Now,
If you could arrange to die''-
But how could profit by that?''
demanded the artist.
"Let me fnish,''' said the man of
business. "If you could arrange to die
temporarily, your fortune would be
made. Just make me the executor o.
your estate. drop out Of sight for
awhile and you will haze both fame
and money. The trouble with you arr.
lists is that you have no head for bust
ness. Now the moment you are gone
you will be written up and lauded, and
all the pathcs of your struggle for rec
ognition will. be brought out, and PEG.
pie will just fall over themselves to
get your paintings. Just give me a
chance to kill you off, and I'll have you
rolling in wealth. Chicago Post.