The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1900-08-22
Republican Lilliputians
Il, and Gulliver Reed.
FUNNY SIDE OF POLITICS.
3ory S. Heath Would Ostracize
the Man From Maine.
U1BuTE TO SPLENDID GENIUS

Dstter Than HIS Party--Peanut Pol
Mn In Regard TO Mr.. Dryan-Tcd-
~ n = noemcrang Candidate.
Joage Jackssn's Pointed Remarks
AGENT the Pe.sion once.
Especial Washington I.ettcr.l
What . pity that Jonathan Swift. the
MIGHTY dean Of St Patrick's. cannot
seeurn TO earth! Certainly the funniest
oing and the most preposterous that
- happened on earth since the LII.
opstans undertook to conquer Gull
uvee - the determination Of Perry s.
Heath et I'd omne genus to ostracize
Soomas Brackett Reed In the present
0mpaign- The unutterabie scorn with
Which that intellectual Titan must re-
Gnrd bis pygmy prosecutors needs the
nQrtous genius and mercilcss pen Of
Bwit 20 describe IL. 'Twould be worth
- years Of peaceful life to see big
Tom roll In 20 Republican headQuar-
nerU while Perry and his petty political
Ukates are In council as to how they
Hin bobbic the man from Maine.
Blcssed stars. how they would take
- cover. Set out. vamoose, skedaddle.
ahsQuatulaw!
The Lilliputians drew UP certain
Eegulations for the conduct Of Gulliver.
whom they called THE Man Noun
tain which regulations I commend to
Perry ct al. In their endeavor to tie
MP M. Reed. Here they are:
"Ffrst-The Man Mountain shall not
? depart from our donations without our
license under our great seal.
"Second.-He shall not presume to
come Into our metropolis without our
express orders. at which the inhabl,.
ants shat have two hours warning TO
keep within doors.
Z, Third.--Thc said Man Mountain
shall confine his walks to our PRINCIPAL
highroads and not offer to walk or lie
down In meadow or fleld Of corn.
"Fourth.-As he walks the said roads
he shall take the utmost care not to
unmple upon the bodies OF any of our
loving subjects. their horses or car.
riages and not to take any of our sub
Jects into his hands without their own
consent"
Most brilliant American.
Surely the ferocious Swift when no
wrote "Gulliver's Travels" must have
had In his minds eye the events now
uanspiring about Republican head
quarters. Unqucstionably Reed Is The
Man Mountain. and * would be awful
u ne should walk or lie down IN the
Republican meadows or fields cf corn.
end In the language of rule 4 for the
protection OF tho Lilliputlans our Re-
publican Man Mountain should take
tne utmost care not to trampic upon
the bodies OF any OF Perry's chums,
especially those Of Mark Hanna. WI.
Ham Acklr!ey and Teddy Roosevelt.
Thomas Bracket Reed Is easily the
most brilliant man In America. He Is
the greatest living Republican. His
most patriotic act was In rcsigning his
seat I'm congress. and with Il the speak.
ership. because he could not indorse
the un-Americnn policy Of the Nc
Hanuaitc administration. To his cter.
nal credit bc II said that he possessed
Independence enough OF soul to yolun.
tartly lay down the political office sec.
ono In power and Importance only 10
the presidency-chccrfu gave up its
cmoiuments-and retired to private life
because he loved his country better
tnan his party. No higher tribute could
De paid to bis splendid genius than
That he should be feared and therefore
mated by the pitiful dwarfs who are
now running the Republican machine
They haven't brains enough TO eompre-
hend The Man Mountain. they haven't
generosity enough TO admire him, they
haven't strength enough to tic him.
ana they haven't money enough to buy
him.
PeanSt Politics.
All decent men will agree that II is
peanut politics. to say nothing worse
OF II. to drag Bryan's domestic affairs
Into the campaign and parade the fact
to the world that Mrs. Bryan now EN-.
poys servant girl to help do the
work. whereas she formerly did II all
herself. 4 humbly submit that Mrs.
Bryan Is clearly entitled to have a
able to pay her. and the Republican
papers arc doing themselves no credit
'by trying TO use that fact to the preju.
dice OF her illustrious husband. No
'purer homo life has illustrated Ameri-
can civilization than that OF the Bry-
ane. They have not fouted their do
mestic felicity I'm the faces Of the pco-
pie. but have been content to live
quietly and modcstly-a thing greatly
to their credit.
IL had To come. IL was inevitable.
Webster Davis has been accused OF
plagiarism. That appears TO be a IA.
vorfte method OF campaigning with
9epublfcnns. u will be remembered
Fiat when Bryan made his astounding
speech ~ Chicago I'm 1900. which serv.
81 the double purpose OF securing the
nomination and the sdoptjon of the