The Winslow mail., 1900-03-08
A Lessen in Temperance
Smith Finds a Use for Stuffed
Rattlesnake.


n
of Brooklyn, a fine specimen of
the diamond-back rattlesnake. 1t was
dead rattlesnake, though it didn't look
it; in fact, it was only the skin of the
reptile with the head attached, but all
the diabolism of the live creature was
expressed in the thick, fiat head with
two glittering black pinheads doing
duty for the eyes. 1t was really very
fine skin, and Smith thought with
pleasure how well it would look on the
wall of his study, but upon taking it
home he found that his household re-
garded it with mingled emotions. When
he appeared with it in his hands Mrs.
Smith ramped around the room as if it
were a mouse that was confronting her
and threatened alternately Mysteries
and a return to the home of her ances-
tors. Bridget, the maid, who had come
upstairs on the run upon hearing the
excitement, retired via the front door
TO the middle of the street, where she
informed an interested public that Mr..
Smith had come home to dinner and
brought the devil with him; while the
the deceased reptile, Skinned up the
back yard grape arbor in a perfect
abandonment of horror, and spit till
her whiskers whistled.
This snakes all right in its way"
said Smith, ''but I'd rather have my hap
py home, and it don't look as if the two
were compatible. I'll give it house room
a RI txrn ho1 10
some bachelor apartment"
With some difficulty and after repeat
ed assurances that the object of her ter
rors was quite dead, Smith persuaded
Bridget to return to the house and her
duties. Mrs. Smith was somewhat rec
onciled by learning that at any time
the serpent could be turned into hand
some belt for herself, if she so desired,
and consented to try it first as wall
ornament for a time. The cat refused
TO come back, but that night sat on the
back fence and told all the other cats
about it until the neighborhood quelled
their comments and interjections with
handy bric-a-brac.
Upon arriving at his Office the next
morning Smith found note from his
friend Bixby, setting forth a sad case,
to-wit, himself. BiXby had recently re-
turned from the arid south, whence he
had brought large fund of informa-
tion regarding the noXious insect and
repiilian life of the region, Il reputation
for a leaning toward revolver practice
and an abounding thirst which all the
11,1s-
quench-he hadn't tried the other kind
BiXby wrote:
Dear Smith: I've been going 1T for the
last week or year or something. Been try
ing to put the R2i2es law out of busineS:
by drinking all the booze before Sunday
I'm pretty much on the aboriginal bum il
consequence. They haven't got me yet
but l saw one of 'em last night. 1t haC
long, pink, wriggly cars and / thought i
was an eel till L saw the hoofs on it, It
been lowering around all this morning ani
I've been trying to chase it with ammoni.
cocktails for l know if it ever gets nea
enough to say Tag I'm it. If you've go
room in your place for head like barre
1 wish you'd take me to Brooklyn tonight
need a change of air. oh, my boy; Nv
been on a toot that would make the Ange
Gabriers trumpet feel like a busted penn
whistle. I'll be at your Office at five, wit
or without assistance, as the case may be
Yours hurriedly, BIXBY.'
At the appointed hour Bixby arrived
in cab, and when ne saw him Smitl
sent word home to Mrs. Smith that sh
had better invent and accept an invita-
tion to dine and speEd the night at he
aunt's. Not that BiNby was intoxicated
lie was sober and sorry for it. Afte
dinner, Smith judged, there might b
trouble Upon their arrival he ex
planned Mrs. Smiths absence and Blk
by suggested cock tails as a starter be
fore dinner. His friend persuaded hin
to tackle the bathtub instead of
bracer. and after cold bath and som
fresh clothes Bixby said he thought b
could eat something. with little helT
All the help that Smith allowed hin
was one long whisky and seltzer, where
upon Bixby locked unutterable re
Proach at the dispenser of sparse hos
pitality, but was too polite to protest
After dinner BiXby was nervous. Smit1
suggested club. They went. Ore gam
of billiards there showed up Biyby'
condition in its true light He tore tw
holes in the cloth and nearly put on
the markers eye in trying to score thre
on the play. Then he demanded drin,
not loudly, but 50 fervently that hi
hest krew there WAS nothing else for i