The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1900-01-06

Got two?" sez he. "Who's got two?"
81 want to speak to you p" hol-
lored.
And | felt the false bangs on my iurred
actilly rise up as l stood tip.toed and
shouted.
81 owe you?" seq he. cts lie l
don't owe no living critter six-pence !"
'Let me come in" sez ], ''and l will
explain. For seed that Crimes boy and
Green's hopeful and the MARITIME boy was
all coming down the road and would be a
listening.
And stepped rite by him into the house,
he being rather clumsy with that wooden
leg of hisn, and moving slow, he following
me in, and went rite to bizness.
"Major,' seq |, drawing long breath
to fill myself full of wind, "have you ever
thought of marrying again?'
"Hey?' SEE he, pointing the trumpet at
me.
"Do you want wife," SEE |.
"Wheres my wife," sez he. "Why,
dang it all, Mary Ann Sloper, you know
they're all dead ~
''Do you want another" sez |, Citing
dsprit and feeling as if would give five
cents for somebody that would take pair
OF bellerses and pump some breath into me-
want q mother 2" SEE he "What in
natur should | want of mother? am
old enuff to take keer Of myself reckon !"
Land of compassion % SEE l. "Who
sed anything about your wanting mother :?
DO you want to change your condition ?"
And this time l screeched into that ea1-
trumpet so hard that the very plates in the
cupboard ratified and my ears rung for a
week afterward.
| never realized before what serious lob
it was to court deaf man. And Just at
that minute the door opened, and in come
that housekeeper of his, looking as mad as
a hornet that you have Jest trod into its
nest. | expect that, somehow or nuther,
she had wind of my being to the majors,
and had come home to see what was up.
"Pity sakes, Miss Sloper - she sez.
who'd ever thought Of seeing you 2" And
she was sweet as new milk, though she
hates me like all git ont.
Law ~ SEE l, "I'm glad you've come,
Marian for / can't make the major hear
nuthing | come over to see if couldn't
swap some eggs to set"
hope the Lord will forgive me for that
fib.
"Our hens don't lay no eggs" seq she.
And though that housekeeper-cri
never let on that she mistrusted anything,
its my opinion that she knowed well enufl
l was after the Major.
] went across lots to Abner Golding's.
Abner has got five small children and
all of them is wuss than Satan, that is, il
Satan was OF their size.
They all pitched into me az soon | went
in, and stnck me all over with molasses
and orange juice, and wiped their fingers
on my shawl and Jest about spite my
gown and fixings generally.
Abner, he was all doubled up with the
rhumatiz, and has to go around with a cane,
and the house smelled of arniky and lie OF
cedar and tansy, wormwood and goodness
knows what, enuff to choke ye.
made up my mind that, il ever l did
come there to live, I'd fummergate tht
house with old shoes and birthstone, and
see if couldn't change the smell.
unfolded my buziness to Abner, and he
smiled kinder shy, and seq he
'I'm sorry-but the Wilder Pendergas
spoke to me last week. And fust come fus
served"
Wal, got out of there as quick as
could, and struck bee-line for Simeon
Snasey's.
When | got in sight OF the house, seet
that the gate was boarded up and all tn,
winder blinds was shut. Could il be tina
Simeon was dead or moved away, and
had not heard of it? pulled at the gate
but could not stir it peg. Then | elm
over the picket fence, and tore pritty ngt
all the plating of the skirt of my gownt
on one of them pickets - consarn triet
the door, and knocked, and l tried tn
back door, and went to the barn and hol
lored mister Snasey?" with all my might
but only echo replied.
Then | come back to the house and tre,
to shove up some Of the winders. l lugge,
an old hencoop round to the front of tn
house and mounted that, and l guess
| should have managed to hoist up tn
| kitchen winder if | hadn't heern q voic
from overhead and looking up, | Sc
Simeon peeping out the attic-winder.
| "You can go home" sez he ; ''it aim
no use to stay. l shan't come down
| won't! You're the fifth woman that ha
! been here inside of week, and all OF ther
! TO git married | don't want no wife
! amt lonesome. am as happy as clam
| | can cook my own vittles and mend m
| own clothes. Go home If / was goin
| to marry, I'd never marry an old maid tina
| was bald headed and lank as fence-rail !!
| And he slammed down the winder. II
| could have got hold of him, I'd a-mad