The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1900-12-01
HE MAKES ME A NEW SIGN.

III hHao WI d Il 6tJHs
horse racing und boxing matches. In a
leetle time der pooblic Will call you
der sporting cobbler,' und customers
vhiii come till your shop can't hold
EN-"
l can't make oudt how she yhas, but
der butcher explains und explains, und
he says he Will make all my signs for
me. In two days l vhas ready, und he
makes me a sign which reads: SHARK
ey VS.. Jeffries. Two to one on Sharkey,
Come in und see dot dead game sport
L vhas pleased NIT dot sign. He looks
like peesness. Maybe it vhas sefen
minits when a man comes in und SAYS
Hello, cobbler, but | didn't know
you vhas, some sports. So you Will bet
two to one on Sharkey, eh?"
81 WILL"
"Vhell, dot vhas good enough for me,
und l put oop one t'ousand dollars.
Trot out your money, cobbler."
"But l hat no money"
"Hey? Don't you bet two to one on
SharkeyY
"Of course I do. Maybe l bet fife or
ten to one on him, but l don't put oop
some money. 1t vhas to make pees-
ness for my shop. Do you need some
patches or your shoes?"
81 Will put some patches on your
eye" he yells at me, und if my wife
don't come in der shop l belief he mops
me all oafer der floor.
/ goes by der butcher und tells him.
und he says:
"You don't seem to be oop on scraps,
und so you had better go by baseball,
| Will send you oafer a new sign, und
don't you let nopody bluff you"
Dot sign he reads, "St. Louis, 0; Chi.
cago, 2; Brooklyn, $780," In two min,
it's after she vhas oudt more as feet
teen boys vhas whooping ind yelling
by der door. Den a man comes in und
says:
"Cobbler, What in blazes do you mean
by dot sign In der vindow!"
Il mean she vhas all o. X" | SAYS.
but how do you make oudt dot
Brooklyn vhas $50? What do you mean
by dose fggers?'
Il mean dot l like $50 peoples to
bring me some shoes to be repaired"
"Oh, | see! Maybe you vhas a funny
man. So vhas l, und let me tell you
dot | q knock your eyebrows off in
ten seconds. | vhas a peaceful man.
und don't hit you, but you must look
oudt for my brudder. He vhas for st.
Louis, und If lie comes along und sees
dot sign you vhas a corpse in two
minits.'
When l goes by der butcher und tells
him, he says der figgers yhas all right,
but maybe it vhas shust as well to let
baseball alone und go by horse racing.
All der baseball peoples vhas cranks
und Jealous of Brooklyn, but it vhas
deterrent about horses. He makes me
a sign which reads: Here vhas your
tip on der races: Play Comstock for
hrst.' Dot sign vhas red und blue und
vhas beautiful, und he vhas only shust
hung oop when a boy IN in und
says:
"Cobbler. how you get dot tip on der
races?"
dot vhas my secret" | says.
"Vhas he straight"
II vhas as straight as somepody's
leg"
"Den | put a dollar on him und vhas
mooch obliged to you. Tomorrow !
Will bring you some shoes to mend"
Dot makes me feel good, but in fife
minits dot plumber comes in und looks
at me und says:
"Cobbler, you vhas either some fools
or some rascals! If you look in der pa.
per. you Will see dot Comstock broke
his leg three days ago. What vhas
your leetle gamer
II like to be der sporting cobbler und
get some customers"
"Vhell, you vhas more like der Jack
ass cobbler, und you Will drife peoples
AWAY! If you hat some sense in you
head, you Will take down dot sign"
goes by der butcher again. und he
looks trubbled in der face as he SAYS
to me:
"Vhell. maybe we make some mis-
take on Comstock, und we shall try
something's else. Let me make you a
sign aboudt football, und if some man
comes along und says anything you
must brace UP to him.
He makes me a sign which reads;
by u private wire-Yale. G.
Harvard, TO-" don't feel very happy,
but put COP dot sign und wait. Poorly
queek a man N along und reads
und says:
Why, cobbler, how vhas dis?"
She vhas all o. k" l says.
But yhas it some football gamer"
"Of course"
DOT vhas VERY funny. I look in
der papers all der time und don't see
no Football NIT Yale ind Harvard. Let
me 20 oudt unl ask Innesn