The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1900-08-16
Wanted No More Science
MY RESPECTABLE
They Would Rather Turn Honest Than Go
Through Such IN Experience Again.


MY RESPECTABLE friend, Mr..
lyl Simbell, who had left the skilled
profession of HOUSEKEEPING for the
more humdrum but safer occupation
of coal dealer, is a man with a consid-
cradle sense of humor.
Il can tell you a story about me
and Andy and Patsy Darlington that
isn't bad, fun," he said to me one day.
1T was like this. Andy and me
often met at the Angel, in. Brixton,
and one day we were together and
pretty hard up. Well, in ONE Patsy
a fellow I never cared much for, al
though he and. Andy chummed to-
gether. We saw he'd something on his
mind, and 1 thought he wanted me
gone, but Andy would make me stop
for it. Patsy had been down near
L~eatherhead to see some friends, and
he thought he'd spotted a good thing.
"'Ever heard of Sir Miles Harold,
sir? O, you have. Well, then, you
know that he was nearly a millionaire,
if not quite. His father was q big con-
tractor, but Miles was ONE of them
scientific gents, always bothering
with chemicals and things of that sort
PATSY came down with the news
that it was a place worth cracking.
Sir Miles had got some splendid gold
and silver plate, and, as the house
wasn't we'll guarded, it was an easy
job.
"'You crack it, then, Patsy ses I.
TIM a bit superstitious about scientific
gents
"Tt's as easy as winkin',' he SEES.
The old fool thinks nothing but about
his playthings.'
ANDY looked, at me and winked,
and then told Patsy to dry up while
him and. me talked it over. Atlast we
decided that Andy should go down and
have a look at the job hisself, and if it
was all right we should go in partner
ship over it.
HE went the next day. He was
there a day or two and came back
quite enthusiastic, and. we set to work
at once.
1--WE hired a greengrocer's cart, with
a fast pony, to do the job with. Patsy
drove down to Leatherhead, and Andy
and me went by train. Patsy was. to
look after the cart, while Andy and me
got the swag, but the programme had
to be altered. The morning we set out
l slipped ON the wet pavement, and
came down on my arm. 1t wasn't
broken, but it was badly bruised and
my wrist was sprained, and I had to
be odd man out stead of Patsy.
II drew up outside the house as neal
to the grounds as I could get, and, my
chums went on. 1t was a capital night,
no moon, but starlight.
PATSY had marked a swing window
to the larder, and, being a slim chap,
he wriggled through and went round
to the dining-room window and let
Andy in.
"The best of the plate was keptin q
cabinet in the dining-room. It only
took Patsy a minute or two to pick
the lock, and Andy sucked, in his
breath at the sight inside. They were
busy storing it in the bag, when sud
denly the room blazed with light
electric light, Of course-and a quiet
voice said: please put your hands
above your heads, or ! must shoot
ut was such a knockdown surprise
that their hands went up almost by
themselves, and they screwed. round
their heads to see Sir Miles-a pale,
dreamy-looking gent, with a big fore
head-standing in a doorway with a
revolver covering them.
"'Don'tgive me the trouble to shoot.
gentlemen; it would make such a
nasty mess on the carpet ses he. Car
ruthers, bring me some cord.'
"a big young fellow stepped for
ward with a Laugh and began fasten-
ing their hands and. elbows together,
after which he hobbled their feet.
"When they were trussed up Sir
Miles commanded them to follow him,
and they shuf1ed along, with the
young chap behind. He led them into
the workshop and made them sit
down.
"'very interesting capture, Caruth-
ers,' said Sir Miles. 'Burglars?'
ayes, sir,'se Carruthers.
"'You are not very intelligent mem
bers of your profession he SEES to
Andy and Pat, 'or you would not have
come here. Carruthers, oblige me by
going outside and coming in. by the
window as these gentlemen did. I
want to show them how stupid they
WERE
eyes, SIR he ses, and he went out,
and presently a bell close to them be-
gan ringing softly. He is getting
through the window now ses Sir
Miles. And this bell'-pointing to an.
other-rang when you opened the
cabinet. You were exceedingly fool
fish,