davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
Easy to Beat Hotels.

"Hotel men give out that they warn
each other by circulars about dead
BEATS" said the slick looking man with
the high hat, "but don't you let that
stop you If you want to live high for n
week. Few men like to publish the
fact that they have been done up. It's
the easiest thing in the world to beat n
first class hotel. All you want is a good
suit of clothes and plenty of cheek. A
grip with few shirts and collars is as
good as a trunk.
you drive up in style; you register to
get the best room in the house; you
bulldoze the clerks and threaten the
servants. A checkbook is n good thing
to show, but you pay for nothing. You
talk in loud voice, you make plenty
of kicks, and you order the best wines
Of the house will fall over each other
to make it pleasant for you! You don't
pay the first weeks bill. on the con-
trary, you are indignant and demand
an apology. When the second week is
due, your drafts have not come.
"You will be worked out of the house,
but with gentleness and apologies.
They don't want n row, and they don't
want notoriety. You'll be forgiven If
you'll only go, and if you take up your
quarters for the next two weeks right
across the street no one from the hotel
will give you away. When man beats
us, we like to see him beat our neigh
nd ,rnnfaal
work, with no kicks or hard times, and
there is always room for one more in
the profession. "-Detroit Journal.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
Millions Given Away.

1t is certainly gratifying TO the pub.
lie to know of one concern in the land
who are not afraid to be generous TO
the needy and suffering. The proprie
tors of DIR. Kings New Discovery for
Consumption, Coughs and Cold, have
given away over ten million trial b IT.
ties OF this great medicine; and have
the satisfaction of knowing that il has
absolutely cured thousands of hope
less cases. Astlmus, Bronchitis,
Iloarseiless and all diseases of the
Throat, Chest, and Lungs aJr surely
cured by it. Call on A. H. Roberts,
Druggist, and get free trial hottie.
Regular size SOC and 81. Every bottle
guaranteed. or price refunded
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
/. rru,hfuI NOMENCLATURE.

In a certain household the true and
only Vermont maple sirup has never
lost its sweetness, and several times a
week from the head of the table pater-
familias pours out judiciously meas
ured quantities of 1t on the plates or
his children. To give piquancy to the
ceremony he always explains that this
time he is going to give Bob an ostrich
and Maize an antelope, with something
else from the nursery books for Teddy.
One day the latter small philosopher
was seen to regard the various plates
for a considerable space of time In ST.
lence. what is it, EdwardT' his
mother asked.
Muffin" replied the hopeful Il was
just finkin that me an Bob an Maize
allus seems to get birds an snakes an
fings wiz skinny legs, but pop, general
ly gets ELEPHANT or hipperpotamus."
New York Commercial Advertiser.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

to you ana TO t;eiP lift that gigantic
mortgage, but later on decided that
bluff would be the game to work. You
saw my bluff and went one better. 1t
was you who brought her upY
"Yes, SIR"
"And you gave my side whiskers
awayT
Eyes. SIR
"Well, it was my own fault. Office
gone, whiskers gone, typewriter gone
and the redheaded woman camped on
my trail. am financially ruined, Sam
mis-. and can't say that l have even
saved my honor. However, here's my
hand, and l bear you no i'll will. If
die, shall forgive you; If live on, it
will be great moral lesson to me-"
That afternoon Mr.. Rasher, the agent,
called me into his office and said:
"Sammis, has your wounded dignity
been healedS"
Eyes, sir
Then don't take any more redhead-
ed women up in the elevator. Such lit
tie affairs as that in room 6S cause Cos
sip and hurt our business"
Just at present our building is as
quiet as a graveyard, and hope it may
long remain so. Something may bob
up at any moment, however, but If 1t
does it will not be the fault of
SAMMIS, the Elevator Boy.
NJ. QUAD.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
CARRIED Her Point and Pet.

1t is said by cynic of the mascu'
line gender that a man never yields
when he knows he is in the right nor
a woman when she is equally certain
she is in the wrong. In an Amster-
dam avenue car the other day, while
the conductor was forward collecting
fares, a woman, followed by large
English bulldog, entered and seated
herself.
Madam" said the conductor, dogs
are not allowed in these cars"
II am going to Fifty-seventh street
Here is my fare" was the answer.
II cannot take it, madam. 1t is as
much as my position is worth to LEI
that dog ride in this car"
Here is my fare"
81 must enforce the rule. 1t would
be better to get off quietly; otherwise
l shall have to call an officer"
ave taken the dog in these cars be.
fore"
"Only dogs that can be carried are
allowed to ride in these cars"
"Come, darling, get in mothers lap
she said to the beast, and after consid-
cradle efftht she succeeded in drag.
ging darling" upon her knees. She
flashed a look of scorn at the con.
ductor and exclaimed, "Now, aren't
you ashamed of yourself"-New York
Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
Appropriate.

At Chalfont, st. Giles, England,
stands remarkable monument, erect
ed by Sir Hugh Palliser to his
friend, Captain Cook, the celebrated
navigator One of the most singular
visits to this monument occurred
in 1865 when Queen Emma of the
Sndwich Islands went in company
with Bishop Wilberforce. People in
the district still recall, with amuse-
ment, how the village band, wishing to
greet her majesty with an appropriate
tune and not knowing the Sandwich
Islands national anthem, tootled forth
1.-THE King of the Cannibal Islands"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
School Report.

For the fret half Of the spring term.
Number enrolled ,26; Pupils neither
absent nor tardy Myrtle Darland, Mary
Kerwin, Katie Kerwin, Myrtle Menden-
hall, Alice Lieb, Tommie Kerwin, Willie
Kerwin, Eddie Trunnell, Floyde Trun-
nell, Peter Smith, George Darland and
Owen Davidson. Absent but not tardy;
Soren and Tilda Sornsen, Willie, Henry
and Lennie Miller, Hans and Carrie
Smith, Jessie Hethcoat, Ellen Kerwin
and Elsie Darland. HAL MANTz,
Teacher
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
HE BEGAN ALL RIGHT
BUT THE NEW TENANT DID NOT CAR
RY OUT HIS PROGRAMME.

He Thought He Could Bluff the ONCE
Elevator BOY, and There Is Where
He Made an Awful Mistake--The
Boys Strsry of HIS Revenge.
Copyright 1900. by c. B. Lewis.l
A few weeks ago, when Mr. Rocka-
way, the kodak agent, moved into room
6S, he took an early opportunity to say
to me:
"Sammis, there are owners of sky
scrapers, and there are agents and jan
itors of skyscrapers, but the elevator
boy Is the real boss"
Yes, sir; he is" l humbly replied.
"If he stands In with the tenant, that
tenant is all right; If he don't stand in,
then the tenant might as well hunt for
another office. want to stand in with
you, Sammis."
Eyes, SIR"
"You are widows son. Here's half
dollar to cheer your mothers lonely
heart. You are trying to pay off the
gigantic mortgage left on the estate by
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

"a little fellow" says the Kennebec
Journal, ''thc Oldest in a family of little
ones, whose iather worked away from
home winters, had occasion to visit his
grandparents for few days. On his
return he found another little membe-
His remarks will show that he was
both surprised and indignant: We'll, IL
you haven't gone and got another gosh
darned kid! Won't my father be mad
when he hea'' of itr"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
ALL ATE THEIR HUSBANDS
Utter Failure of n Costly Experiment
to Make Spiders Weave SILK.

to Make Spiders Weave SILK.
AS long ago as the beginning of the
eighteenth century the idea of using
the thread that the spider spins from
its body as substitute for the thread
unwrapped from the cocoon Of the silk
worm was preached, but with little
practical result. An Englishman, Mr..
Rolf, secured 10000 feet of silk thread
from % spiders in two hours.
OF late some experiments have been
conducted by curious persons to ascer-
tain which spider produced the best
and largest quantity Of silk, for 1t has
been demonstrated that it is an excel
lent substitute for that of the silk
worm. Spiders from Paraguay and
Argentina, from India, China and Aus
tralia, were tried, but the best results
were secured from the spiders of Mad
agascar.
1t was found that after laying her
eggs the fep'ale spider spins most free
ly. Six of these were selected and con-
fined for the test. From one 1000
yards of thread were secured In ten
days; from the second, 1850 yards in
seven days; from the third and fourth.
450 yards in four days; from the fifth.
1,400 yards in IL days, and from the
sixth, 1900 yards in 81 days.
A German manufacturer was SO de-
lighted with this test that he made
elaborate arrangements for having a
spider silk mill, importing a large num-
Der of the spiders from Madagascar
to Germany. All went well until the
females had laid their eggs and be-
gun to spin, when all at once the males
were found 10 have disappeared. Their
larger feminine companions had grown
so fond of them that each female spi
der had eaten her mate. This catas'
trophe ended the costly experiments
Washington Post
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
The First Umbrella.

To prove at what date the first UNI
brella was made is a seemingly hope
less task, but we find records of their
use among the Greeks and Romans
not alone as protection from sun or
rain, but as a distinguishing mark of
royalty. BY the time Of Queen Anne's
reign they had become quite common
simply as a protection, but they were
all imported until about 1902, wher
the manufacture Of them was begun in
England.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

ID. T. McFadden died last night
shortly after midnight at his home three
miles north and two miles west OF this
city. His death was due to weakness Of
old age, he being along in the seventies,
fastened by a complication of diseases.
He has been in poor health for num-
Der Of years past but of late had been in
exceptionally good health. A few days
ago he had sudden attack and gradu-
ally faded into Inconsistencies and
then death. Two brothers of the de-
ceased, one from Audubon and one from
Oskaloosa are here, called by the sad
news. The funeral services will take
place tomorrow at noon from the house.
Atlantic Telegraph.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
Working Night And Day.

The busiest aud mightiest little
thing that WAS ever made is DR.. Kings
New Life Pills. Every pill is sugar
coated globule of health, that changes
weakness into strength, listnrssness
into energy, brain-fag into mental
power. They're wonderful ia building
up the health. Only % cents per box.
Sold by a. HI. Roberts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Professor Simon ]. Brown, the astro-
nomical director of the naval obserya-
tory at Washington, occasionally in
dulges in bit of humor. On one oc-
casion colleague came into his office
and, finding the professor standing,
said: rs il possible you work that
way? | cannot stand standing"
THAT'S peculiar" replied Professor
Brown quickly. "Now, do you know,
cannot stal.d sitting"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

There is going to be an eclipse Of the
sun next Monday, May %. 1t will be
total in a portion of the southern states,
but here at the greatest observation,
which will be at TAT a. m, about two
thirds of the face of the sun will be
hidden. The eclipse commences at 6:45
and ends at S:45. Be careful and don't
look at the sun too much or you will
injure your eyes.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
Wanted n stone.

"Have l not always been generous
with you in the matter Of household
expenses?" he demanded.
EYES," she replied bitterly. Il ask
ed for stone and We gave me bread"
Then he realized that he would hav"
to get her the diamond she desired be-
fore there would be peace in the fami-
ly.-Chicago Post.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
Strategy In the Pulpit.

How did you gather such large
congregation of old and middle aged
peopleY' asked the young minister OF
the old one.
Il advertised a sermon to the young"
was the latter's reply.-Chicago News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Rev. VIM. Graham, the new minister
having the Presbyterian appointment at
Old Hamlin recently vacated by Rey.
Regan, preached in the Presbyterian
church in this city Sunday, Rev Hink-
house exchanging pulpits with him.
Rev. Graham comes from Hastings,
Nebraska. Previous to being there he
was stationed in the Black Hills.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Mrs. Henry Gray is visiting relatives
in Guthrie county. She expects to go
to st. Paul in few weeks where her
husband now is and where they will
make their home.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

The delinquencies Of Mary Ann or
her equivalent are a tabooed subject
among Japanese ladies. To discuss
servants would be considered by them
p decided want of good breeding. They
may talk of dress, the theater, music
and variety of interesting things,
but their domestic tribulations must
never be referred to-Raltimore News
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Ravens Poulty Food is positive cure
for chicken cholera, roupe, gapes and all
disease of poultry. 1t regulates the
bowels, blood and digestive organs, pro-
duces bone, muscle and larger fowl, and
makes hens lay eggs in winter. Young
chickens will grow rapidly free from
disease. When fed to fowls it will pre-
vent all disease and make fine birds.
For sale by Riddlesberger Il Fay, Poultry,
Audubon, Iowa.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Matt johnson and Martin Larsen
went to Chicago with stock last Satur-
day night.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

G. d. Booton has been appointed post
master at Viola Center in place of F. E.
Fenton resigned.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

J.B. Scofield returned to his home in
Creston Friday after a visit Of several
DAYS with the A. L. Bates family.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

A. j. Bailey formerly a resident here,
but for the last year living near Fonda,
visited friends here Monday.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

VIM. and Thos. Cochran were attend
ing to business in the south part of the
county the latter part Of last week.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Fred Blume was attending to bust
ness in Atlantic last Friday and Satur-
day.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Sheriff Anderson has a nice team Of
driving horses, buying them this week
down near Anita.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Mrs. E. E. Beemer, of Rodney. arrived
in the city Monday for visit with
friends and relatives.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Mrs. ID. @. Mott is in Des Moines this
week attending the Mothers congress as
delegate from the Mothers Club.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Mrs. Hattie Cahil returned from a
weeks visit at Ross Saturday.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

A large number of Extra citizens were
up Friday as witnesses before the grand
jury.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Dan Kerwin returned Saturday from
Victor where he purchased carload of
calves.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

The officials of the G. & N. W. Ry.
paid Audubon visit Tuesday evening.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Special attention given 10 the trial OF
cases, settlement Of estates and the
drawing OF all legal papers.
CossoN A Ross.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Editor Murphy, of Grinnell, was in
town Monday.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Mrs. Frank Andrews and son, Pearl,
we're Audubon visitors Saturday.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

Chas. Wilkins was attending TO bnsi-
ness in Carroll last Friday night.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

E. Bilharz and family are the possesors
of an elegant new carriage.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

&C. Donaldson, of Audubon town.
ship, is in town to day.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
The Local News.
AUDUBON AND VICINITY.

vern Culver was quite sick Tuesday
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24
Comprehensive,

On tombstone in an old New Eng
land church. ard there is an epitaph
which never fails to bring a smile to
the face of the reader:
ITO the memory of Ann Sophia and
Julia Hattie, his two wives, this stone
is erected by their grateful widower,
James j. Rollins. They made home
pleasant. "-Woman's Journal.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-05-24

! consider it not only pleasure but
duty owe to my neighbors to tell
about the wonderful cure effected in
my case by the timely use of Chamber
lain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy. l was taken very bad with
hux and procured bottle of this
remedy. A few doses of it effected a
permanent cure. | take pleasure in
recommending it to others suffering
from that dreadful disease. -. w.
LYNCH, Dorr, w. Va. This remedy is
sold by A. II. Roberts, druggist.
Old newspapers for sale at this Office
at 5 cents bunch of two dozen, II
Cañon City record., 1900-08-23

going Republican this You figure out o
1885, made OF being silver party
Bryan Mckinley only 26os6 Colorado
1898 Democracy still pretended silver but Thomas elected
majority Me- Bryan the county elections
the than ohe
party Sentiment been changing rapid rate and that the mash
found opposed silver
will be longer Democratic fusion state
Cañon City record., 1900-08-23
Praised American dalla.sry.

General Dorward, commander of
the British troops in China, pays the
following high tribute to the Ameri-
can troops that participated in the
severe fight before Tien Tsin, July
18th. He said:
The American troops formed part
of the front line Of the British attack
and so had more than their share of
the fighting that took place. The
ready and willing spirit Of the officers
and men will always make their CON-
mand easy and pleasant and when
one adds the steady gallantry and
power of holding exposed positions
which they displayed on the 18th
instant the result is soldiers of the
highest class.
Cañon City record., 1900-08-23

Tom Thumbs wedding, the Brown
les and Wax Dolls Irritation and Drill
"a new and very popular entertain
ment, will be given in the NJ. E
church on Friday night August 81,
1900, for benefit of Ladies' Aid. A
large number of little folks will com.
prise the cast, under the direction OF
Miss Bessie Morse of st. Louis.
Cañon City record., 1900-08-23

d. L. Westover, wife and daughter,
arrived in Canon City last Saturday
from San Francisco and were the
guests of Mr.. and Mrs. James P.
Chapman until Tuesday, when they
departed for their former home in
Michigan. They will also visie in
New York before their return to the
coast.
Cañon City record., 1900-08-23

Mr.. John Menoher of Gravity, Iowa,
an old time friend of Albert Shank,
is in the city and will remain for
several days a. his guest.
Cañon City record., 1900-08-23
Worth = Dollar . Bu.he,.

A South Dakota Statesman's view
of the value of wheat and silver.
Thomas B. Baldwin, the we'll known
Iowa Republican leader. was at Red
Rock, S. D., when the Democratic
presidential candidate made q speech
there couple of years ago. He re-
lates the manner in which the Scan
dinavian governor of South Dakota
introduced Mr.. Bryan to a crowd OF
constituents. Wheat was command
ing 81 per bushel, the highest price
in years, and the governor having
some notion shat Bryan would make a
comparison between silver and wheat
sought to do the same thing. He
said:
"Ay tax gret plaisure in stsndin
on sam platform by gret statesman
lax William Yannings Brayan. LAX
odder Rret statesman, Ay bane study.
in gret kvestions un' Ay have sam
conclusion lax Master Brayan. Ay
tank silver and wheat boat ajax,
boat bane worth dollar bushel. .'-Ex.
Cañon City record., 1900-08-23
A. Others See Us.

II MIR. Bryan is defeated in No
vember he will be held responsible for
the disaster to his party. A few
months ago the outlook for Demo-
cratic success in the presidential con-
test this year was most encouraging.
Candor compels the admission that
the overthrow of McKinleyism and
Hannaism is less probable now than
it was before the Kansas City plat
form was adopted.-Baltimore Sun,
Oem.)
Boston Transcript-Eastern Demo-
Gratis returning from Kansas City are
laboring hard to convince those whom
they encounter that silver is not the
paramount issue, and that imperial
ism is. They had a free silver en-
vironment there, but on returning TO
the East they found themselves in a
chilling atmosphere of CONSERVATION
and criticism.
Take away the appeals to the pre-
judices, the evil passions and the ig-
norance Of voters, and will some one
tell us what would be left of the
Democratic PLATFORM = Salt Lake
Tribune.
Victor Record-Silver Republicans
have nothing to thank Colorado Demo
Gratis for. Every member of the dele
cation voted against Charles E.
Towne for the vice presidential nomi-
nation. Nothing but . straight
Democrat is good enought to hold
Office. The only sphere of usefulness
for Silver Republicans, from Demo-
cratic standpoint, is to vote the
Democratic ticket on election day.
Richmond (va.) Dispatch (Dem)-
But We are in for it, and there is NO
use cry ing over split milk. All we
can do is to trail along in ranks and
obey orders and hope our generals
and things know their business better
than We suspect them Of knowing it
and try to believe things viii come
out al right in The end. But Do rot
|lisseA fUr.usto shont. for Ne ars not
shouting. We don't feel like shout
ing. This isn't our year to holler or
our night to howl.
+ + +
The Democratic plea that the 16
to plank was inserted in the Kansas
City platform to fool the Populists is
not calculated to inspire confidence
on the part of the other voters. A
party that will practice deception
upon one class Of voters will not hssi-
tate to enlarge its field in that par
ticular line.-Ex.
+ + +
Elect me to the presidency. The
senate is safely Republican, and it
would be impossible for to do any
harm to the country during the next
four years" Does the country want
a chief executive who is compelled to
make such plea in his own behalf7
Exchange.
Cañon City record., 1900-08-23

Miss Ethel Brown is back from hel
visit with relatives and friends q
Kansss City.
Cañon City record., 1900-08-23

Mr.. Joseph Baker, father Of Geo,
A. Baker Of this city, is seriously III
and there seems to be little hopes oi
his rscovsry; be 4 sighty-six ysars q
|agS.
Cañon City record., 1900-08-23

5. T. Amber Of Monte Vista, VA
transacting business in Caion City
last week.
Cañon City record., 1900-08-23

Mrs. Joseph W. Milsom pleasantly
entertained few friends last Thurs
day evening At dinner In honor Of the
fifty-seventh birthday Of her mother,
Mrs. L. d. Elliott.
Cañon City record., 1900-08-23

The Handy q McGee Mer. Co. have
six desirable lots that they wish to
ell. also one dve-room houas. 4
Cañon City record., 1900-08-23

W. S. Jones, a respected citizen of
this place, is lying critically III at his
home in South Canon. MIR. Jones has
been i'll for long time.