davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17
CUTTING TO THE LINE.
a Teutonic Solomon who Dispensed
Justice According to His Own
Convictions.

The prisoner was held on a charge OF
possessing all to himself plurality of sew
en- wives, but the German judge was In
clined to let him go.
LASS eet is, yed," he said, looking down
ever his glasses, der effiitence is like dot
he has der pleurisy Of wives, aind't it, but
I'll led heem 60"
The amazement of the prosecution waa
immense. He was thrown into consterna-
ton. Getting upon his feet he blurted out,
in ill-conceaied surprise: Why, your honor,
on what grounds do you dismiss the case:
'fVell,'S said the judge, ION vat grounds!
Why, on der grounds outside der goort-
house, der grounds Everywhere
But why dismiss it, your honor, when all
the evidence tends to show"
"Vhell, der reason ees dot hof Won wife
off mine ownded, und he init a muldibiica-
ton off dem-he has troubles off hees own
enuff, yet, alretty. You are dismissed,
aind,t its" tAs
No, it was not the same man who was
held by the judge to be guilty OF trigonom.:
e.ry Just because he sported the luxury OF
three wives at one and the same time
Detroit Free Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17
WIT AvERTED A STORM.
The Capital Device of q Congress
nan to Cool His Wife's
TO- 90 T. Anger.

In the seclusion of the house cloakrooms
a story is being told on western member.
There are 357 men in the house. Three hum
dred and fifty-six are hereby released from
any connection with the story. The other
man-and the other mans wife-wiH recog-
nize the truth of what is here recorded.
The western member went home at very
carly hour in the morning. He had made a
night of it with some friends. He knew that
his conduct would be considered reprehensi,
BE by his better half, and SO as ..e assembled
the steps of his modest home he racked his
brain for some plan to avert the lady >
wrath. As he entered the hall he saw an
umbrella. Instantly il occurred to him that
the umbrella might BE- his salvation.
He carried the umbrella upstairs. Seating
himself on a chair in the corner Of the bed.
room. he raised the rain guard over his head
and then coughed loudly. His wife awoke
and saw in the dim gashght her liege lord
sitting solemnly under the raised umbrella.
what are you doing:" she asked in nat
ural surprise.
1T is three o'clock, my dear. said he,
sand am waiting for the Storm"
The congressman's ready wit saved him
from a Caudle lecture. lie is Worrying now,
however, to find an equally effective act for
the next time he stays out late.--W ashing-
ton Post
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

John +. Blair in his earlier days owned 4
western railroad along the route Of which he
established q series OF lunchrooms at which
employees Of the road were to be charged 50
cents and al passengers Is cents. Mr.: Blair
once dined ct one Of these places, and, con-
.luding his meal, laid down = half dollar.
lonS o't to od thi. road y" know that. replied
Mr.. Blair, "the road belongs to me. Chi
cago Chronicle
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17
Cheeri.w New,,

Efforts are being made to form cir
Gus trust. 4 peanut trust has been
in existence for some time past. but
at last accounts, says the Chicago
Times-Herald. the red lemonade bust
ness was still without New jersey
charter.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17
An All-Year Resort.

The Crescent Hotel, Eureka Springs, Ark,
opens March !, 1900. A most desirable, At
tractive and convenient resort for health
and pleasure seeken. Ideal climate, pure
sparkling water, best sccommodations.
Through Sleepers via Frisco Line. Write
for particulars to Manager Hotel or 70 any
representative of Frisco Line.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17
clea.li.e.. 1. the Dairy.

Cleanliness counts in no place for more
than in the dairy. The milking should b
done in . clan place; all vessels used should
be washed morning and night in hot water
With Ivory Soap, rinsed and well aired. Mix
should never Be kept in CELLAR with veg
stables, as an unpleasant taste will be inn
parted. Attention to these details will in
sure q supply of Wholesome milk and butter.
ELIZA r. PARKER.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

Gen. nxzen, tbs iirst Aesd Of the weather
hureau n. Washington, found it almoet i'm
possible to persuade the .snben Of con-
eress to vote for him the necessary funds
with which 10 carry out hin plans. One
spring. when the appropriatioo had been
THANKFULLY cut down by the economy-loving
chairmau of the committee, Mrs. Hszen was
3 guest at an afternoon reception 1t the
house OF one Of the cabinet members, where
the most detestable and uncomfortable wealth
er. untimely and unlocked for, was the top.
r. Of the moment. Al Mrs. Hasen crossed
the room to make her adieus she was vaylaid
BY the chairman Of the Offending committee.
IS this the best your husband can do for u.
IN the way Of weather." Mrs. Hassn looked
At him With a sudden fash in her eye., and
then answered. clearly and sweetly: Yes,
Mr. Blank, the very best-for the appropn-
alton" The discounted man ded, in the
midst Of the hardly concealed smiles Of the
surrounding guests--Argonaut.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17
one Inuepse AAvantaee.

If the Russian Academy of Sciences
prevails in having English adopted as
= universal language. perhaps. says
the Philadelphia Times. conductors
may uee il in calling OF stations.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17
~ ssessly sss.Esestsea.

- 9eeRely sssug9estson.
Husband> What's the matter With the
biscuits this morning:
Wife-It's the fault Of the yeast. 1t failed
"Why don't you ne IN alarm clock ?-
Chicago Evening News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17
There Are.

Paris washerwomen threaten -
strike. but there are people, says the
Chicago Times Herald, who will won.
der why any body should be worried q
such a prospect.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

The nest PPesePiptlo0 fer Ch111s
and Fever Is a bottle q 0sovxb TAsfeL.sa
CHILL TOXIC. It's simply iron and qnininein
atasteless form. No cuIo-no pay. Price SC.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

The affection Of old age 10 one Of the great.
est consultations of humanity. have often
thought what 9 melancholy world thi: would
world without the -Coleridee.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17
TIE Mystery Ct Dose at Sea.

It ID q puzxling fact that the decks Of sail
ing vessels show dust at night, even il they be
washed in the morning. and NO work 10 done
during the day. This is like indigestion,
which creeps on one unawares. However it
comes, the only way TO cure il il BY the use OF
never fails to cure dyspepsia in al ito forms,
a well as prevent malaria, fever and ague.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

Ajax may have defied the lishtaing, but
it isn't of record that he ever was fool
enough to trif3e with q trolley car.-kansas
CITY Star. A*& ID
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17
A Definition,

Little Mike (who has an inquiring mind
FODDER, phwot is autograph.
McLubberty promptly Autograph, is
ut. Sure, thot's phwot they wrote on yure
tombstone whin, yez are run over by wan
ay thin dommed harseless carriages!-Puck.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17
Free speech.

speech in congress with long, sonorous and
superbiy mcdulated citation Of passage
from Tac;.us, and then took his seat. No
sooner was he through than up sprang =
bury member from the west. He had once
been an Indian agent, and he began to pour
out vehement harangue in Choctaw. After
awhile the speaker called him to order. .!
don, see why my freedom Of speech should
from Massachusetts rum on, and didn't IN
derstapd the first word Of his lingo any bet
ter than he does NINE" The scene was COM
ical, but it struck the death knen Of further
classical quotations in congress.-N. Z. Tele-
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

Whenever you commend. odd your ~.
NM for Dang 30; i il this which distin-
gsishe: II: APPRECIATION Of : man Of sense
mirstion Of fools-Steele.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

II a man admires his wife, it il more i'm
portant than if the neighbors say she i .
lovely character.-Atchison Globe.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17
Editorial Comment.

"Poor old Jones, the grocer, died early
this morning" said the village editors bet
ter half.
"Huh!" exclaimed the local-opinion
molder, "he's been dead for years"
"Been dead for yeas!" echoed the q.
tonished wife. why. what do you mean"
"Just what l said, replied the '. e. ANY
nan in business who doean't advertise u .
dead oaa."-Chicago Evening News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

Boston spinsters have Nnnised to keep
married women from getti1 employment. :.
Eyes; they are determined 70 make ife hard
for man - The bitter end-s-AasyIaHd Jour
nal,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

The poetry Of childhood eonsists in sim
ulatins and forestalling the FUTURE. Just -
going back 70 some golden 40. Poetry i
always i the distance.-Ani2
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

This world y full u fool1. and b who
would not wish to 80 one must not oal3
shut himself up Alone bot also break ~
pg-tass.-Roilsas
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

man writes s,s e; e. 81. ss. Ses from sss
Don't argue with IN agent. Let hin talk.
Keep quiet. When he has run himself down.
say: II do not waat it, D. net ~ any.
thing elee,-Atchison Globe
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

Though a woman be homely or handsome,
modesty is her greatest charm-Elotts
Ma0a1inn
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

Mar%ha-"Do you think it would Be wrong
for me to kiss Mis- Pianefaee? Harry
mot II your eyes were shut, perhaps."-
Rostor Tf1nscript,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

ro Care . Cote IN one nay
Take Laxative Bromo Q,iinine Tablets. All
6rueRists refund n,oney lit fails . cure. sc.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

Men have even had hairbreadth escapes
from becoming baldheaded.-Chicaso Dr.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

All goods are alike to PUTNAM FADE
LESS DYES, as they color all fibefs at one
boiling. Sold by al druggists.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

Al soon a. man gets % old be has NO
begins to make him grief.-Atehison Globe.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17

A man that will hold you up can be ex-
pected to knock you dowA.-Chicago Dis
patch. s&
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1900-03-17


to be made loathsome as smallpox hos
pital. There are to-day influences
abroad which. if unresisted by the pull
pit and the printing press. will turn
our modern cities into Sodoms and Co
morrahs. fit only for the storm of fire
and birthstone that whelmed the cities
of the plain. se E9H
You who are seated in your Christian
homes. comprised by moral and reli-
gious restraints. do not realize the
gulf of iniquity that bounds you on the
north and the south and the east and
the west. While l speak there are
tens of thousands of men and wom-
en- going over the awful plunge Of an
impure life. and while cry to God for
mercy upon their souls cry TO you to
marshal in the defense of your homes,
your church and your nation. There is
a banqueting hall that you have never
heard described. Youkno all about the
feast Of Ahasuerus. where 1000 lords
sat. You know all about Belshazzar's
carousal, where the blood of the muir
dered king spurted into the faces Of
the banqueters. You know of the scene
of riot and wasxail where there was
set before Aesopus one dish Of food that
cost 100000. But speak cow of
different banqueting hall. Its roof is
fretted with fire. It's floor is .tessel-
lated with fire. Its chalices are chased
with fire. Its song is song Of fire.
rs walls are buttresses OF fire. Solo
mon refers to it when he says: "Her
guests are in the depths Of hell"
Our American communities are suf-
fering from tn. gospel OF free lovism
which so years ago was preached on
the platform anil in some Of the
churches of this country. I charge
upon free lovism that It has blightAd
The evening times., 1900-03-09

Prof Williston has him in fossiiized form
in the geological collection. and Prof.
Dyche has him mounted as he was cap
tured in the eastern part of The State sew
eral years ago.
About nine-tenths OF geO,ogic time had
passed when the formation from Washing
ton county, in Northern Kansas. thr ugh
diagonally and iTTegularly 10 q point where
Dodge City Eow stands. was formed. Al
the eastern part OF the State had been
land. the western part under ocean water.
The gypsum and salt beds had been formed
in Kansas long before this period The up
heavaI which resulted in the formation
OF the Rocky Mountains representing me
period in which Western Kansas has been
dry land is less than one-fftieth geO.Ogic
time. 1t was in this period that the Mis-
souri, and other rivers which flow in an
easterly direction from the Rocky MOuntain
slope were formed. Their banks we're
muddy and the animals which came 10
drink from them or the springs became in
bedded in the mud and perished. to be c-y-
cred up and preserved for the paleOntOlO-
gist.
Fossils Of the elephant species have been
found in nearly all parts of Kansas. They
are most frequently to be found. however,
in the western and southern parts Of the
State The Indian Territory. Immediately
south Of Kansas was, however. Their most
popular resort. In Lane county several
years ago Mr.. Charles SternbeTg discovered
in a small area not more than two or
three rods in diameter portions of a score
or more of these animals He also found
portions of the horse and OF a small dog
Everything goes to indicate that the spot
was the site Of some old spring. TO which
the different animals had come and died,
is the observation of Prof. WillistOn.
Various species of bison have been found
in the Wakarusa Valley, in Grove county.
along the Smoky Hill, near Wellington.
and at Manhattan.
An extinct species Of moose was found IN
Wyandotte county. on which is this label:
From the Ioess near Kansas City, fifty
feet from surface. Its teeth are larger
than any Of those Of the specimens of Iiv-
ing moose in Prof. Dyehe's collection.
The evening times., 1900-03-09
FAIRBANKS FOUND GUILTY
Convicted Of Attempting to Bribe
United States Juror.
The Man Charged With Having Tam
pered With the Ingbam-Newitt
PaneI-Sent to Jail by Judge Nc
PhersOn-His Counsel Contends
That the Verdict Was Not Just.

PHILADELPHIA, March 9.-After delib-
Grating less than an hour yesterday morn
ing the jury in the case of Henry J, Fair
banks, charged with attempting TO bribe
members of the Ingham- hewitt jury, re-
turned a verdict of guilty as indicted. Al
though the conviction was expected, wfen
the lame defence of Fairbanks Was taken
into consideration, yet Lawyer J. Joseph
Murphy attorney for the defence, claims
that the verdict was not just, and was
obtained solely because Judge Mcpherson
permitted District Attorney Beck to bring
out the past career of Fairbanks in cross
examination, when nothing of the kind was
referred to in direct examination.
1t was shortly after 10 O'Clock when
Judge Mcpherson began his short charge
TO the jury. He told the jury that there
was but little in dispute in the case, and
he also pointed out the fact that the evil
dence of Fairbanks was uncorrobOrated.
and therefore, not entitled to much weight.
However, he left ii for the jury to decide
the value TO attach TO the prisoners tesi-
mony. In conclusion the judge said that II
there was a reasonable doubt in the case
Fairbanks was entitled TO 1t, but II there
was no doubt ii was the high duty Of the
jury TO convict the defendant of what is
dangerous and despicable crime.
The jury deliberated less than an hour.
After the verdict had been rendered Dis
trict Attorney Beck asked that Fairbanks
be taken into custody at once. To this
Lawyer Murphy objected on the ground
that the bail ts5 .000) was sufficient and
that Fairbanks should be given an oppor-
fn ms ka for the
port of his wife. The judge. however,
ruled differently, and Fairbanks was given
into the hands of the marshal at once.
No sooner had the fate OF Fairbanks
been learned than Thomas ODea. who was
under s.. 600 bail. charged with similar
offence. was surrendered by his bonds
man. Germanco Negro. This also resulted
in 0'Dea being placed behind the prison
bars.
Speaking of the conviction of Fairbanks.
District Attorney Beck said Il did not
try the conspiracy charge against Fair
banks and O'Dea with the indictment
against Fairbanks alone. as the defen-
dants counsel objected to trying both
cases together. For reasons partly per-
sOnal and partly public. ! did not care to
try both cases at this term of cour; and
/ shall therefore try the conspiracy in
dictment at the May sessions.
This will involve the retrial OF Fair
banks on the charge of conspiracy. The
maximum punishment for conspiracy Is
two years. and that for crime Of at
tempting to bribe a jury, Of which Fair
banks has just been convicted. is one
year 1t is to be regretted that the pun
ishment for either offence is so light
Few offences are gravsr than an attempt
to corrupt a jury, and the maximum pun
ishment under either statute would seem
inadequate"
The evening times., 1900-03-09
HIS WIFE GOT THE REWARD.
A stray Terrier Found where He
Was Not Lost.
(FGom the Chicago Chronicle.J


Every police station on the west side
housed a fox terrier at o'clock last night
Some had two and even three. Many pO-
licemen turned their coal sheds into ken
nels. not caring TO place Oyerconfidence in
their fellows At Sis the favOrite breed
had lost its popularity. Dogs that were
welcomed earlier in the day were sent
forth into a cold and unappreeiative
world. many receiving rude farewells.
The rise. decline. and fall in the fox ter
rier market was due to a reward which
was announced early in the day. for the
return of a prize pug. telephone call at
the DespIaines Street station aroused the
desk sergeant from deep meditation. This
was the information;
II have lost my valuable fox terrier and
will give $500 reward for his capture.
Needn't look across the river for him:
would rather die than journey to the South
or North Side"
1t seems that the owner Of the dog took
his pride out for a stroll. He was fat ac-
cording 10 the police, and his movements
necessarily were impeded The dog. which
was in frisky mood tired of the snaiI-like
pace and at the first opportunity wrenched
away from the chain that had held him
and scampered joyfully away He went in
a direction opposite to home, and naturally
the master concluded that the animal was
bent on making new acquaintance. He
teIephoned without delay. Then he began
a search himself.
Tired and weary, he returned home at
o'clock to find the animal sitting quietly
in the window with an expression on his
face suggestive Of a laugh The lover OF
fox terriers took another trip to the tele-
phone.
Never mind the dog" he whispered.
MY wife has got the reward
The evening times., 1900-03-09
DECAPITAfBD BY A GAR
A Young Girl Instantly Killed by
a Trolley Railroad.
No Lights burning Where the Acci-
dent Notwithstanding at n High
Away i'm Terror To Escape the
Vengeance of an Angry Crowd.

NEW YORK. March 9--While driving
trolley car Of the Hudson Heights line at
a high rate of speed near Niles Avenue.
West New York, n. j.. at O'Clock last
night Benjamin Hill, motorman. ran
down and killed Bertha Engold twenty
two years old. within 20O feet of her moth
er's home, at Lincoln Place and Twenty
third Street. The victims head was sew
cred from her body Terrified at the sight
Of the accident. Hin jumped from his car,
and. although pursued by a threatening
crowd, succeeded in escaping arrest
Bertha Engold was identified by a bank
book OF the New York Bank of Savings
that was found in the pocket OF her dress.
Her clothing was dark but of good ma
terial She wore on her left hand gold
band wedding ring and a solitaire dia-
mond ring. She was well prOportioned and
possessed mass of rich brown hair.
Along level plateau for two miles the
trolley cars run on the new Hudson
Heights road. The line goes through pri-
vate property belonging TO the railroad
company at the point where the woman
was run down. There are rocks on each
side and there are no street crossings or
lights for a quarter of a mile. Pedes-
trians frequently walk between the car
tracks there to save long detouT.
While hurrying through this road last
night in order TO make the short cut to
her home Miss Engold was knocked down
and instantly killed. The electric car was
going at the highest possible rate of speed.
Ii shot out Of the darkness and felled the
woman without warning. No one saw the
rs rpdx Nn hpa rd her PAS
sengers in the car did not know what had
happened until they saw the body OF the
victim on the tracks.
BENJAMIN Hill. the motorman, brought
his ear TO an abrupt stop. Then with
cry of terror he jumped from the platform
and darted away over the rocks.
Don't let him escapel The woman is
dead" cried the only cool man among the
dozen passengers. Several men pursued
she motoman. He was last seen on the
brow of a hill. running south. He is be-
lieved to have taken the Forty-second
Street ferry TO this city.
Charles Lyendecker. the conductor, was
arrested and held. He. like the passen-
gers. did not know the accident occurred.
He said Hill was twenty-eight years old.
married. and lived in Hoboken. He has
been in the railroads employ about six
months.
The body Of the victim was taken TO
the West New York police station. and
later to her home.
The evening times., 1900-03-09
JERSEYS AGED TWINS.
said 10 he the oldest i'm the United
states.

NEWARK y. j.. March 9.-The recent
death OF an aged twin in the West leaves
Mrs Margaret Griffith. OF this city. and
Mrs. Sarah Griffith, of Morrisjown. as the
Oldest living twins in the United States.
They are eighty-one years Of age. Their
husbands who are both dead were broth
ers
4 peculiar fact in the fife OF Margaret is
that she married the same man twice.
When twenty-four years of age she became
the wife OF Maitland H. Griffith, a pros
porous young business man OF Newark.
For several years they lived happily. Then
there came a disagreement and the wife
secured divorce on the ground Of deser-
iicn. Soon after This Griffith married Miss
Sarah Baldwin. OF this city. and lived hap
PLY with her until her death, seventeen
years after the marriage. About a year
after her death while visiting at the home
Of his son and namesake in Newark, he
chanced 10 meet his former wife, and they
were married 10 each other again.
Both Of the aged twins are In good
health and in perfect possession OF all
their faculties