The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1900-07-20
THE GRAY PARROT
Icopyright, 1900. by W. W. JacObs.l
By W. W. JACOBS.

India docks. The small and not over
clean steward, having placed every
thing he could think of upon the table
and then added everything the chief
could think of, had assiduously poured
out two cups Of tea and withdrawn by
conversing between bites and inter-
rupted occasionally by a hoarse and
sepulchral voice, the owner of which,
being much exercised by the sight of
the food, asked for it, prettily at first
and afterward in way which at least
compelled attention.
That's pretty good for a parrot"
said the third critically. Seems To
know what he's saying too. No, don't
give it anything. It'll stop If you do
'There's no pleasure to me in listen
ing to coarse language" said the chief
with dignity.
He absently dipped piece of bread
and butter in the thirds tea and, losing
it, chased it round and round the bot
tom of the cup with his finger, the
third regarding the operation with an
interest and emotion which he was at
first unable to understand.
you'd better pour yourself out an
other cup" he said thoughtfully as he
caught the thirds eye.
'I'm going to- said the other dryly.
''The man l bought it Of" said the
chief, giving the bird the sop, "said
that 1t was a perfectly respectable par
rot and wouldn't know bad word if
it heard it. hardly like to give it to
my wife now"
Its no good being too particular"
said the third. regarding the other with
an i'll concealed grin. That's the
worst of all you married fellows. Seem
to think your wife has got to be
wrapped up in brown paper. Ten
chances to one she'll be amused"
The chief shrugged his shoulders dis
dainfully. 81 bought the bird to be
company for her." he said slowly.
Shell be very lonesome without me,
Rogers"
How do you knowr inquired the
other.
h'AiS oAii NOs was tlC ACplys
"When you've been married as long
as l have" said the third, who, hav.
ing been married some Is years, felt
that their usual positions were some
what reversed. you'll know that, gen.
orally speaking. they're glad to get rid
of you"
"What for?" demanded the chief in a
voice that Othello might have envied.
"Well, you get in the way a bit"
said Rogers, with secret enjoyment.
"You see, you upset the arrangements.
Housecleaning and all that sort of
thing gets interrupted They're glad
to see you back at first and then glad
to see the back of you."
"There's wives and wives," said the
bridegroom tenderly.
"And mines a good one," said the
third, Registered Al at Lloyd's, but
she don't worry about me going away,
Your wife's 80 years younger than
you, isn't she?"
twenty-five" corrected the other
shortly. "You see, what Pm afraid OF
is that she'll get too much attention"
"Well, women like that" remarked
the third"
"But / don't, dash itv' cried the
chief hotly. "Wben l think of it, GO
hot all over-boiling hot"
''That won't last" said the other re-
assuredly. "You won't care twopence
this time next year."
"We're not all alike" growled the
chief "Some of us have got finer feel
ings than others have. l saw the chap
next door looking at her as we passed
him this morning"
"Good heavensp' said the third
wildly.
81 don't want any of your blanked
impudence," said the chief sharply,
"He put his hat on straighter when he
passed us. What do you think OF
| thatT
Cant say" replied the other, with
commendable gravity. "It might mean
anything"
IF he has any of his nonsense while
I'm away, I'll break his neck" said
the chief passionately. Il shall know
| of IT,"
The other raised his eyebrows.
"l've asked the landlady to keep her
| eyes open bit" said the chief. MY
wife is very young and simple. SC
that 1t is quite right and proper for her
to have motherly old body to look
after her."
Told your wife" queried Rogers.
NO." said the other. "Fact is, Rog-
ers. I've got an idea about that parrot
I'm going to tell her it's magic bird
and will tell me everything she does
while I'm away. Anything the land.
lady tells me shall tell her got from
the parrot. For one thing. don't want
her to go out after Z of an evening, and
/ she's promised me she won't. If she
does, shall know and pretend that l
know through the parrot. What do
you think of itY'
"Think of it," said the third. staring
at him, think of it? Fancy a man tell
ing grown up woman a yarn like
that"
''She believes In warnings and death
watches and all that sort of thing.
said the chief, 80 why shouldn't she?'
well. you'll know whether she be-
lieves in 1t or not when you come
back" said Rogers, land it'll be q
great pity, because it's a beautiful
talker and the best swearer ! ever
heard"
What do you mean?" said the other,
81 mean it'll get it's little neck
wrung," said the third.
"Well, We'll see," said Gannett. al