New-York tribune., 1900-04-16
GRADATToNs OF sNogBERy.


I detest snobbery in others" remarked a So
ciaIy prominent woman recently land va. s,d
i hard to avoid the nputatton myself In regard
10 the associates Of ones children at school for in
Ce q" Is most difficult 10 know what is best to
DO OF course, II goes without saving that gen
eraI courtesy and kindness are essential inzredj-
ents OF good form but when It comes TO the point
oI making intimate frtend3 tell my girls that IT is
much better TO keep with ones own set
Ihls may sound snobbish, and I dare say 1t is
out 1t is not on account of social position that
give this advice but by reason of the complications
that may arise through such friendship. The real
snobbery would come later on, If old friends were
cropped because they did not belong to what is
termed society It is almost Impossible for a girl
after she comes out 70 find the time even II she
has the inclination, to be intimate association
with one whose pursuits entirely different
My Oldest daughter who is inclined to be demo-
cratic was somewhat indignant that disapproved
of her intimacy with schooImate whose parents
: did not know
" think it is perfectly absurd to have class dis
ttnctions in America, she exclaimed indignantly
Why. mamma, Tilly Brown is nice as I am in
every wey-in fact. much nicer-and just because
her people not in what you call society" you
want me TO give her up! I think ii is too narrow
minded for anythingr
i saw that there = as no Use reasoning with the
child or defending my position in the matter. so
thought would try cEe experiment.
cry Well Mary / answered; I may be wrong
in my view Of the subject viii give you full per-
mission do you like about IT, but there must
De no half way. If you take the Brown girl as a
t[-ehd you must act Just as your sisters do with
their friends and put her or an equal footing
with yourself You must accept her invitations
she accepts yours and be introduced 10 her family
ard friends just you would naturally expect her
10 become acquainted with yours. In
you you know you will come out, and then # you
dropping her, for thai / would truly call sha bby
and disloya. In short. If you take her an init
mate friend, you must do 1t without patronage or
"M!ary thereupon assured me that she asked for
rcthing better; and l told her TO ask her friend
70 a small girls dinner that was on the tapis for
the following week. noticed this literal TAX
ing Of Mary al her word rather surprised her and
imagined she exactly pleased at the pros
pect, but she made no sign, and the invitation
$ u ~ Il ana No N -rli que curse curse accepted ~ -
my swell" friends, she called themT I
ere of her sisters 'sle is always At me now with
& M f4t sh4II say y 70 your swell friends 2? What
ought 10 wear 10 sult your SWelt friends, etc. -
OF course cannot tell her IL sounds vulgar. but
this Tor l knew II was the beginning or the end
The night Of the dinner arrived and in
pretty and not badly dressed but there was an
indehnable something about that different
After dinrer the girls were chatter1ng together
and laughing over their mutual interests, and. al
leave the others TO trv TO entertain her ~
''As I had expected, the next week there
invitation from the Browns asking Mary go
with them TO a matinee ana TO take luncheon I
after our conversation there was no alternative
but 10 go on her return she came into nv room.
'Mamma' she exclaimed. I want 10 tell you that
see you were quite right never spent a more
common boy!-with a friend Of his who was much
worse than he Mrs Brown jOked at the table
about the "beaus,' q she called them. and they
put between the two at the theatre I
many people I knew, and they all looked
prised. and 7 did feel ashamed-I couldn't help ii.
I ha5ed myself for IL, Mrs. Brown and Tilly
We're kind they could be, and had got Up the
toward the last, and I expect Tilly feels ready
as do 10 be less intimate, although I Ike her
very much and hope We will continue to be
friendly.