The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-11-25

bored listener 10 q WINDY speech. Turn-
ing TO a felow-su6erer he said. DO
you knew that speaker "No." was
The answer. II de-, said the Bishop
he speaks under many aliases. but his
name IS Thomas Rot
How much DO you charge for 3 room
in this hoteI? asked q traveller OF The
proprietor Of a slx-story hotel in Ger
man town.
on the first floor ten marks. and cash
higher floor O mark cheaper
well the hotel is not TAI enough for
mes'
Once when Ten1yson turned Up in OK
ford during the long vacation shs AJAX
Nuellers asked HIM to dinner and break
fast. The dinner did not SO on Weu be-
cause the fish sauce was not % Che
morning was s. domestic catastrophe fer
the hostess, who saw hin whip Oh the
cover OF the not dish only d eNcl2lm.
iMutton chops-the staple 81 every bad
inn ia England IL was 10 the Pro
fessor. toe. 5hat Tenuyson 6eclaEed that
the only advantage ~ the laureateshlp
was that he generally received the liver
wing OF chicken.
'Boni, said Anna CasteIlans. thought
fully. as she looked up from a stack OF
bills and tapped Der large front testa
with a much-gnawe5 aencl. here Is
c8ndlesick Ia this bric-a-brsc blll that
is set down at S2e59. and ] know the
price they asked for iJ was only 50"
Alas. Anna said Bonl and he look
ed down at her With eyes from which
tear-drops as big as marbles were burst
lu%
What IS it7' cried Anna. n alarm.
Little did i think" replied Boni In
broken voice. chat you would ever bar
ter your faith in the honesty az human
nature for a paltry $500
And he turned aside TO conceal hls
manly grief
When "Oom" Paul tirs- visited England
according to the New York Evening Post.
he was the object OF mach concern 10 his
fellow passengers on board the liner
from Cane Town, many IL whom We're
consumed with curiosity when they noe
tlced his absence from the dinner table
for the first four days out On inquiry
they found that the careful Transvaaler
spent the dinner hour en- deck. where ne
ate biltong and biscuits. When asked his
reason. he testify replied II have no
money to fool away on expensive e8tl8g
like you Englishmeu." The correspond
emit who tells the story. and who was on
board az the time, adds: you should
have seen the old man trying to make
up for lost time when il was explained
to him that his passage money included
his meals on board
G x
John Burroughs. az q small dinner IN
New York last winter. told this story Of
W. D. Howeils
-f-r. a -.
give a copy OF enc OF his books. which
had just been published. 10 a distant rel
alive. When acquainted with Afr. How
els intention. the prospective recipient
was delighted beyond measure Mr.
TIowells, wishing 20 give stln more pleas
ure, took up his pen and dipped il in
the ink.
"shan I write in it7' re asked tsuta-
lively
The distant kinsman blushed, and then
said awkwardly: oh If you please Mr..
Howells. Ia 50 much rather have a fresh
copyP'
Mr. Burroughs ayers that he got the
fresh copy without any trouble, and
that ne has had none since.
*
A certain mans wife was much trou-
b1ed with the thought that the house
would be broken into. Her husband. be-
ing kept awake at night by her anxiety.
hoped TO cure her Of the deiusiCn by ar-
ranging WIKI a man be knew 10 enter the
house and pretend 70 be a robber. while
he would satisfy his wife by going down
and soaring him away by firing his re-
volver. The man agreed, and received
small fee for his trouble
On the night I'm question the wifa heard
some noise. SO aroused her husband.
who crept downstairs with his revolver
All was quiet, but he boldly entered
the dining-room and. crying Hands upt'
fred his revolver into the ceiling Sti1
not a sound with a sudden feeling ~
anxiety be struck a match. and found
every particle OF pate and valuable
things gone
The man had come early and made the
most of t.
81
There is 2 certain clergyman whose
usually tripping and eloquent tongue rurs
on the track occa sf0naNy. so 10 spea g.
and betrays him into amusing mistakes
and plumbers fn the course If MS pulpit
oratory. such a mistake occurred enc
sunday evening NOT long ago. and this
younger and less serious members % his
CONGREGATION are laughing over II ret
The preacher had occa sion 10 refer 90
the text: Set Thou nav feet In large
place" several times in the course ~ ths
evening prayer and sermon. and perhaps
he had grown a Battle tired ~ that par
ticular phrase. OF feared that BIS listen
ers had. So. whrr n che course 81 chs
after-serrn0n prayers. he deeire5 80 ccn-
vev the same idea gain he employed a
different SET Of worHe 10 fhie purpose
Thou knowest. O Lord he PRAYED
therefore. "how small end mean aid
crowded ara The places Wheress Don