Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-08-22

way station was suddenly attacked Dy Il
tiger. made bold through hunger. The
startled assistant Immediately rushed to
the telegraph office and wired to the Eu-
ropean statiOnmaster at the next place
on the line, as follows: Tiger on the
platform eating stationmaster: please
wire instructions. Short Stories.
after | had watched a colored man
fishing in a South Carolina brickyard
up his hook said the traveller to a
Washington Post man. Il asked him If
he thought there were any fish there to
be caught
"'No, sab, 1 reckon not. he replied.
:" But you seem to be fishing.
8" Yes. sah.'
But perhaps you are not fishing for
fish,
mo. sab
Il waited ten minutes for him to ex-
plain. but as he did not | finally asked
him what particular object he had in
view.
"'De objick, sah,' he repeated with
out taking his eyes off the pond or NOV
ing the pole-'de objick of my tishin' fur
fish whar dere haint any is to let dc ole
woman see that | haint got no time to
pick UP de hoe and work in de truck
patch.
YES" the witness declared, Il could
give further evidence against the pIs-
oner: but. as kiplng says, That's an
other Never mind what Kip
Ling says" interrupted the magistrate.
The Chinee can testify for himself
when his turn comes. New Jersey Law
Journal.
Il want some more chicken said Bob
bic at the dinner table. Il think you
have had as much as is good for you.
DEAR said Bobbie's mother. Il want
more said Bohbie. You can't have
more now, but here is Il wiShbone that
you and mamma can pull. That will be
fun. You pull one side and LII pull the
other. and whoever gets the longer end
will have the wish come true. Why.
Bobbie, you've got it. What was your
wish?" Il wished for some more chick
en- said Bobbie. promptly. He got II
this time-New York Tribune.
THAT fellow Bumbleton is a deep one
What has he been DOING"
why. he got the new boarder INTO g
brisk controversy with the landlady over
the reasons fer woman's mental inferlor-
ity, and under cover of it he sneaked a
second piece Of huckleberry pie. Elk.
Grace Greenwood. in her lecture on
THE Heroic in Common Life" tells
story of the wife Of a member Of the
Arizona Legislature. whose house, when
her husband was absent on his leglsla-
tive duties was attacked by Indians. She
shot SIX. and the next day wrote to her
tackled the ranch. l have won the fight:
You need not come yourself, but send
some more ammunition.
81 told Miss Oldgirl the other evening
for q joke, that every time she lauSh".
1 wanted to kiss her.
Did she think You meant 1t:
"Wel, whenever l meet her now she
begins to laugh for all she's worth. :
Pick-Ae-Up.
Two Corrections.-From the Bowers
vile clarion: In our last weeks issue
the types made us say that Mr.. and Mrs.
spouse, were 'simmering' at Bleezecliff-
blythe River. 1t should have read sum
mering.
Later-The proprietor of Bleezeclff,
etc, has just called and tried TO whip
the editor As a result of this encounter
the hotel man is in the hospital and the
above correction is rendered null and
void "Simmering' is the correct word.
We will tell the truth let the chips fall
where they may.-Baltimor American.
Willie-"Say. did you propose to my
sister last night
Featherstone-"E h-Ah. Why, VII
lie?"
Willie-"' Cause everyb body in the hous.
has been guying the life out of her. De
troit Free Press.
President John Quincy Adams once as
serted that he would not give 30 cents
for all the works of Phdias or PraXi-
teles:" adding that he ''hoped that Amer
lea would not think of sculpture for two
centuries to come" On hearing Of this.
William Morris Hunt, the foremost
American painter of his day. dryly in
quired: Does that sum of money really
sculpture of those artists, or the value
which he placed upon 80 cents:'
Angry Wife-'It seems to me we've
been married a century. | can't even re-
member when or where we first met
Husband, (emphatically)-"I. can. 1t
thirteen at table.'-Tit-Bits
A pale and disheveled Frenchman who
had not found "a life on the ocean wave
all that could be expected. was sinking
into his steamer chair, when a passenger
asked, cheerily: "Ah, good morning,
monsieur" answered the pallid French
man, Il nave not breakfasted; on the
contrary
Politician boy, the door to every
successful business is labeled Push.
Thoughtful Youth-'.Isn't your busi-
ness successful one sir?''
Folitician-'Well, yes, [ 1atter myself
that it is very successful. Why do you
ask that?"
Thoughtful Youth-sBecause, sir. I see
your door is labeled Pull Detroit
Free Press.
Physician giving advice)-'Lastly, Nc
CORY, don't go to sleep on an empty
stomach
McGorry (who is ailing)-''No danger
av thot docthor: OF always Shape Oh III.
back. '-EXchange
The local paper Of Smithville. village
not far from Cincinnati, contained this
note the other day: ''There will be an ice
cream supper given by Mrs. Susan How
ard next Tuesday night, July 3, in the
Christian church grove, to assist in rails