davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02
PITi AND POINT.

Blobbs-''I understand that den-
lists now not only extract teeth but
insert them" Slobbs - "HumphI
Ny dog can do that"
"Have you and your neighbors
called on each other yet?" ''No; but
l heard our cooks calling each other
names over the back fence"
''Did you have any trouble select
ing name for the baby2" ''Nore at
all; there's only one rich uncle in the
family ."-Richmond Dispatch.
81 haven't seen you out lately"
said the walking stick. "No," re-
piled the umbrella, 81 am still keep
ing lent. philadelphia Bulletin.
Two souls that to a single thought give
birth.
Abi How they do agree.
She thinks he's all there is on earth.
Alasl and so does he.
Philadelphia Press.
Poeticus-'T There are no geniuses
in attics nowadays" Cynicus -"No,
most of them seem to have got down
to business aud are running eleva-
tors"
Tommy-"Dad, have smashed a
French plate window. Will you foot
the damages?" Dad-"You young
scamp 1 will begin by footing the
damager."
Jerry Pontoon, tell us something
about Oliver Cromwell" (Which
version, ma'am?" "I don't under
stand" Magazine or history?"--
Chicago News.
Jack-"There must be something
terrible about paint-box." Ida
"Why SOP" Jack because it is
the only thing that will make some
girls turn red" F"
Stella --'I was awfully nervous
when Jack proposed" Maude-
"Was it such a surprisep" Stella
"No; I was afraid some one would
comein and interrupt him. "-OhIcago
News.
'Thet woman is q shoplifter, said
the hoorwslker to the detective; 'she
will take anything she sees" 'I
spotted her the other day." re-
sponded the detective; 81 saw her
take the elevator.
"My wife doesn't seem to be pro-
crossing, doctor, remarked the anx-
ious husband. "No," returned tho
physician. "When she gains a little
strength she uses it all up telling
people what's the matter with her."
81 want to marry your daughter"
sail Foxey." "Have you spoken to
her yet?" asked the father "No,"
replied the suitor. "You see,
want to get your refusal, so that
will have something to work on. -
Philadelphia North American.
Iobo-"Hev yer got any kind of a
job you want done, lady? House
keepei -"Tm sorry, poor man, to
have to disappoint you" "Dat's all
right, lady. 1 jest wanted ter find
out if 1 could take a sleep in de next
lot here widout bein' world by offers
of work"
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02
A Nurserx NIeasure.

The yard measure is a new and
semi-useful nursery accessory. OF
course, the baby could be measured
with a common, everyday footrule or
a tape measure, but the fastidious
mamma thinks growth is too i'm.
portant a subject to be treated in a
matter of fact way, and she measures
Teddie's or Marjorie's inches with a
long, broad, fiat piece of wood which
has inches and feet plainly marked on
one side and pretty pictures and
verses painted on the other side.
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02
BORROWING THE BABY.


"Good mornln'. My ma sent me
To asst you how you was,
An hope you're well-you know at n
Th' way she allus does.
My ma-she sez, you're strangers,
But then she kind o. thought
She'd like to borry tn baby
AZ you folkses as got.
''My ma sets by tn winder
An watches you and i'm,
An kind o. smiles an cries to wunst,
Cause he's like baby Jim.
Who's Jim2 He was our baby
We named him after pa.
Say, en- we borry your baby
A little while fer maj
~My ma she sez she wouldn't
Mind IL your baby cried
She sez Z d be like music
Since little Jim has died.
She sez she'll be good to him,
An she'd like whole lot,
II we en- borry the baby
AT you tolksee as got"
Josh Wink, in Baltimore American.
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02
Sentiment and nnsIness.

The junior partner, on the other
hand, believed in mingling sentiment
with business, and suggested this
form Of advertisements:
"Let Us Eat, Drink and Be
Merry"
Table Supply Department, Ground
Floor.
"For To Morrow we DieW
Coffin and Tombstone Departm snt
in Basement.
''Take the Elevator"
Etc, etc.-Puck,
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02
THE MATERNAL cocKRoACH.
Apparently Believes in the MaIthusian
Theory.

Apparently Believes in the MaIthuslan
Theory.
Harvey Sutherland writes as fol-
lows in Ainslee's Magazine: The
mother mosquito may launch her sill
very boat of forty dozen eggs on the
still waters in the early morning and
then sing the happy hours away while
she seeks her one chance in three
million TO imbrue her pumps in warm,
red blood, but the mother cockroach
remembers who she is and of what
long lineage she comes, and does her
sixteen eggs up in a nice, neat case,
which she carries about with her till
she feels the thrill of life within it,
Then she helps the little ones rip
open the crinkled seam of the valise
and teaches them their first lesson Of
economy by eating up the empty egg
case. They remember it when their
baby clothes burst off them and they
come out, white and soft. They do
not send their cast-of garments to
sufferers by food and famine; they
eat them. Mother cockroach broods
the little ones and protects them. In
deed, know of no more touching
spectacle than a happy cockroach
home with all the little ones playing
around, climbing over Uncle George,
or sitting on Uncle Harry's back, or
cuddling under mother or Aunt Eliza.
(The names, of course, are fictitious,
but the fact may be easily verified
The progeny of a pair of early
spring house flies will number 2,000,-
900 before the summer is ended, so il
is calculated, but under the most ia
vorable conditions there will not be
more than one brood of sixteen cock
reaches in season. 1t used TO be
thought that it took the young from
four to five years to grow up, but that
was too extravagant a guess. Obser-
vation shows that the Croton bug ma
lures in from four and half to six
months, and specimens Of Periplaneta
Americana, the standard american
oockroach, Matched on July II, be-
gan to go out in society between March
ii and June II of the following year.
In the colder climates they retire
from active business to winter quar-
ters, where they hibernate.
Being so few in family, it is evil
dent that the life of a cOckroach is a
good insurance risk as compared with
that of the fly, the moth or any other
of the six-legged tribe. Why? In
all these millions of years since the
era of the Coal Measures he has
learned how to live. He is smooth;
he is agilei he is thin, hard to catch
and easy to hide. His eyes may not
amount to much to warn him Of the
approach of foes, for they are bent
under, like his mouth parts, so that
he may see what he is eating, but his
antenn@ are a hundred joints in
length, sensitive to odors, but espec-
tally to jolts and jars, which are what
sounds must be to an insect. The
old Romans called the cockroach lu-
cifuga, fleeing the light but the old
Romans did not observe closely or
they would have seen that it was not
the light that the insects fed from,
but the one that carried it. Flash
light on them all you like. They do
not object. But take a step, whose
tremor is conveyed to the walls and
floor, and sets their antenn@ to sway
ing and the scufiling of their wings
shows how anxious they are to get
away and under cover.
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02
Beautlrul Doors OF the white House.

For years the two beautiful doors
at the entrance of the White House
have been grained in imitation of
black walnut, but in the spring clean
ing this year Colonel Bingham or
dered the paint scraped of so as to
have them done over. To the aston
ishment of everybody, it was discov-
cred that the doors were of solid ma
hogany and of beautiful grain. Col.
onel Bingham ordered them restored
to their original native condition, and
is now trying to find out what fool
had them painted. Washington Cc
respondence in Chicago Record.
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02

will aid our troops in locating nd
whipping the guerilla bands, although
it is certain that they are always aware
of the plans and prospective move
ments of these bands.
Even to-day there is not native in
Manila, friendly though he may pro-
fess himself to be, who will breathe q
word as to Aeuinaldo's whereabouts,
yet there are doubtless thousands who
know exactly where he is, and many
who doubtless are in constant com
munication with him.
The list of our losses by bolo men
and ambushes in the occupied dis
tricts since January ! is rather start
ling.
A list which I have selected from
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02

insurgents deem it imprudent to offer
opposition. When the column has
passed, they come out of the woods
and fall upon the little bands of strag.
glers and outposts and signal corps
men.
From now on the guerilla methods
must be met by smaller and more mo-
bile forces. General Lawton, with
his great experience in this method of
waging war, would have been quick to
adjust himself to the new conditions.
General Bell is pre.eminently qualified
for the kind of work that will now
have to be done, while General Funs-
ton, whose Cuban experience has fitted
him well to meet the new conditions,
will undoubtedly adjust his tactics to
meet those Of the insurgents.
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02
Chameleon Postal Cards.

Italy is essentially the land of post
cards. The latest postcard is shot
with various colOrs, so that the hues
change if the card is regarded from
different angles. The colors, more
over, are made OF sensitive chemical
ingredients which are effected by
changes in the weather to the extent
of altering their colors.
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02

placed on the wagon frame and so de-
signed that the wagon bed, with it's
contents, may be removed from them
30 the wagon frame, as soon as the
scale readings are taken, thereby re-
moving the continual strain and wear
on the balancing levers while the
Wa0nn ia in naa.
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02
A Genuine "Horse Marine. :"

When war breaks out, bringing
with it hurry call for cavalrymen
and mounted infantry, the efforts of
recruits to master horsemanship in
so short a time are In licrous. To
avert this a dummy horse has been
invented on which unaccustomed
soldiers may practice mounting, dis
mounting and other equestrian feats
which require long practice. Such
dummies are carried on transports and
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02

the recruits go through daily drill
with them, thus learning, by the time
they reach their destination, the rudi.
ments Of horsemanship and rendering
their subsequent lessons on real
horses less awkward and slow. The
"silent steeds" are of the average
height of the army troop horse, and
the saddle and other accoutrements
are of the regulation cavalry type.
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02
Nerron. rnsrrr Of sheep.

The sheep possesses q less degree
OF nervous energy than the horse, OK
or pig, but it is capable Of enduring
great extremes of heat and cold with
less inconvenience, and possesses a
more vigorous digestion than those
animals.
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02
Tslerraph Lines in RhedesIa.

Rhodesia's telegraph system, in
cluding transcontinental line, consists
OF 2635 miles Of lines, with 3163 miles
Of wires. The police telephone sys-
tenn consists of 261 miles of telephone.
Exchanges have been opened at Sails
bury and Buluwayo. There are sixty
two telegraph offices in Rhodesia.
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02

troop commanders, and then the first
troop. Each cavalry regiment con-
sists Of twelve troops Of 100 men each,
the regiment being divided equally
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02
/ EAMPAIGNIKB IN
The PHILIPPINES.
Ambuscades Have Cost Americans
More Relatively Than Regu-
lar Warfare.

John I. McCutcheon, the Manila
correspondent of the Chicago Record,
writes as follows in regard to the
progress of the war in the Philip
The suburban citizen., 1900-06-02

the fles OF daily paper, and doubt
less fen from complete. shows that
about forty men have been captured
Aly The insurgents in the last forty
Daily camera., 1900-04-03
a FEAST OF MUSIC.
Boulder !. to 70, in Musical Treat. of I.
High Order.

Boulder is to R4vel In Musical Treats of a
Ugh Order.
Leadville isl have May festival,
but Boulder cs& vie with her IN musical
attractions fofk khe next few weeks. First
in Importance perhaps is the opera
"Pinafore" Which is to be given two
nights in ApnE the 10TH and 10th. or 2Ist
depending toy last date upon the Kan.
sas-Colorado debate. No one who has
enjoyed the !"Mikado" and PIRATES Of
Penzance" wiH fail to hear this opera.
1t is very funny and very pretty. The
details of prlcs and place and time will
be given later.
On the 4th of May the Choral society
will give its final concert. The program
is to be varied and interesting. The
Utrecht Jubflate by Handel, the com
position written to celebrate the signing
Of the peace of Utrecht. The Fligh,
of the Holy Family by Max Brusch and
the Peer Gynt Lutte by Grieg, rendered
by the orchestra. Mrs Robinson will be
the soloist. The ladies chorus is a new
feature and the full chorus work is al
ways enjoyed.
On the 27th of April or the nth OF
May, depending again on date of debate
will occur the spring concert of the
Ladies Musical club. The program will
consist of the cantata by Keinecke, "rh
Enchanted Swans" and solo work. Den.
yer artists are being corresponded with
and local singers will appear.
On the 18th Of May at the preparatory
school concert will be given Beethoven S
first symphony. Commencement con-
cert will be an unusually brilliant event
this year for at that time one of the bes1
tenors in Oratorio work is to be intro
duced to Boulder.
Finally and firstly too, is school O
music recital on Friday OF this week a
z o clock, at the preparatory school, giver
by the pupils of Mrs Robinson, Mis-.
Browne and Mr. Farnsworth to which all
are invited. 1t is hoped that all music
lovers will bear these dates in mind.
Daily camera., 1900-04-03

FoUND-A serpent shaped silver ring.
Owner apply at this office.
Daily camera., 1900-04-03
|B|hISle|S
/ Repu|Sed
Ano1HfR HARD SCRAP.
Battle in Which 5000 British were So.
vefely Repulsed.

Battle in Which 5000 British We're So
yef;'y Repulsed.
Pretoria, April 3-There was heavy
fighting Yesterday between Brownfor'
and Bloemfon.fin an the federals re-
pulsed with seat losses 5000 British
troops. onshf arrival of $4,000 British
reiniorcemen.l the enemy were forced
to retire. *
Mafeking, pril 3-Colonel Plumer
has had to retife with loss. No de.
tails. ti
Bushman, Kop, April 3-The Beers
are still holding the Bloemfontein water
works in spite ck the severe shelling.
Bloemfontein. April Sit is reported
tha, French encountered strong Boer
commando coming from Ladybrand and
the British have almost decimated the
enemy. Particulars have not been
received.
Daily camera., 1900-04-03
Pleasant Reception.

Fifty young men enjoyed the hospital
ity of DR.. and Mrs J. M Wilson at the
parsonage last evening. They were mem
bers of three classes of young men in the
Presbyterian Sunday school. A we'll
prepared programe discussing the life
and influence of John Ruskin added to
the enjoyment of the evening. Alter the
serving of refreshments the boys had a
good social time. Many were surprised
that they could have such splendid
time without their lady friends.
Daily camera., 1900-04-03
GRIP HAS THE TUNNEL.

Big Mogul Bore At EldorA Closed by an
Epidemic,
ia. Gil6llan of the Mogul tunnel was
in town today. The new Village Belle
vein as cut by the tunnel, he says, has
been stripped for 100 feet and shows up
all along this distance. 1t is fine body
of ore.
'Just at present." said Mr. Gil6llan,
"Eldora is suffering from an epidemic of
the grip. Five OF our principal men are
down with it and so general is the cpl
demic that have been compelled to
close the tunnel down"
Daily camera., 1900-04-03
Porto RIC0l
Bill P0SSCd
THE BILL PASSED.

A rarin on Porto RicAn Goods Pushed
Through by tho Trusts.
Washington. April 3-The Porto Rican
bill as adopted by the house, passed in
the senate this afternoon, 40 to 81.
Mr. Mason of Illinois, declared that the
bill was unconstitutional.
, The amendment by Mr. Lindsay, pro
viding for free trade with Porto Rico,
was first defeated. Then Mr. Foraker
pressed to vote the house measure as
1t p .ssed the latter body. BY the terms
of this bill tariff of Is per cent of the
Ding 'ey tariff is provided on all imports
from Porto Rico.
Daily camera., 1900-04-03
TOM PRAISES TOM.
"Thomas jefferson" tho subject Of an Ad.
dress by Thomxs N. Patterson.

"Thomas jefferson" tho Subject of an d.
| dress by rhomxs N. Patterson.
Masonic temple hall was handsomely
decorated with flags and potted plants
and from the proscenium the likenesses
of Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson
and William Jennings Bryan, the trinity
Of Democratic saints. looked down benig-
nantly upon throng that filled all the
available space of the large hall 1t vas
the Boulder County Democratic society's
tribute to Thomas Jefferson and right
worthi!y did Hon. T. M. Patterson. the
orator of the evening, extol the merits of
the founder of the great party.
Upon the stage beside Chairman c. B.
Ward and Mr. Patterson, were Judge !.
r. Atwood, Capt. D. H. Nichols. Hon.
Henry A. Drumm, Post Master Coates,
Justice Sperry o.. Sunset. B. F. Bounds of
Magnolia, N. d. Mckenzie, Professor
W. V. Casey, Hon. Elbert Greeman and
Deputy District Attorney James D.
Merwin. representatives Of the demo.
cracy. the Silver Republicans and the
Populists,
Miss Berlin first sang about the glories
of "SunIy Tennessee" presented so
charmingly as to elicit on encore, her re
sponse being with When was Little
Baby" Miss Berlin was in excellent
voice and pleased the audience I'M
mensely. The same may be said of the
quartette, composed of Miss Berlin. Mrs
Davis, Mr. Fonda and Mr. Wilcox, which
sang Good Night" so finely as to receive
a vociferous recall, The music and the
speech by Judge Atwood. who told some.
thing of the aims OF the Democratic
society, put the audience in excellent
humor.
Mr. Patterson was slow in getting down
to his theme and pleaded lack of prep
aration. He is busy man and the ex-
cuse was, doubtless. genuine. However,
those who tarried until the end of his
two hours of mastery discussion Of the
schools of Hamilton and Jefferson were
pleased and instructed. The last hour
of his discourse was eloquent and peal
after peal of applause punctuated his
sallies at the administration for its treat
ment of Porto Rico and the Filipinos
and there could be no denying the gen.
uineness of the pro Boer feeling which
his criticism of the "Christianizlng"
policy of Great Britain evoked.
Jefferson said Mr. Patterson, was a
teacher in the school of freedom. His
treatment of the financial question show
ed that the democracy is now following
the footsteps Of Jefferson, in favor of
st rict construction of the constitution
and as against privileges to a special
class-the bankers-for which the Ham,
ilton school was the apologist.
He asked if Colorado should cease to
fight for free coinage since the Demo
cratic party in its conventions from
Maine to California, with only two or
three exceptions, had declared for free
coinage without awaiting the consent of
any other nation. He charactlzed such
a position as advised by Wolcott. as
cowardly and declared the democracy
of other states was fighting the battles OF
Colorado and Boulder county.
The speech ran the whole gamut of
national politics and was punctuated d
with sharp sallies and terrible invective.
| 1t was great speech.
FoUND-A serpent shaped silver ring.
Daily camera., 1900-04-03
SUCCESSOR TO ROBERTS.

Democrats Replace Mr. Roberts With a
Democratic Congressman.
S It Lake, Utah, April king (Dem J
for congress is elected over Hammond
(Rep by probably 1000 majority. His
majority in Salt Lake was 754 and out
side precincts heard from, covering half
OF the state. up 70 1899 show Oh major
ity for King. making his total majority
I.267.
Daily camera., 1900-04-03
THE QUEEN ARRIVES.

Wet ria Cheered by her subjects in Ire
land,
Dublin, April 3-The royal Yacht
bearing the Queen Of England arrived at
2 o'clock this afternoon. Owing to its
arrival earlier than expected the notables
were not present TO receive the queen
though h thousands Of enthusiastic citizens
hocked to the bay and cheered wildly.
Il continues to rain all over the island.
Daily camera., 1900-04-03

No pains have been spared to render
the grand military ball of the Knights of
the Golden Eagle at the armory next
Friday night an affair worthy the name
and the order. Don't fail to attend.
Daily camera., 1900-04-03
LONG IN DENVER.
Serr tary OF the Navy Passes Through For
Colorado Springs.

Colorado Springs.
Denver, April 3-Iohn u. Long, secre.
tary of the navy, arrived here from Wash.
ington this morning en- route for Colora-
do Springs to visit his daughter, who is
very i'll with tuberculosis. Secretary
Long defended the Porto Rican tariff bill
as a worthy relief measure and said it
wou ID surely pass the senate this after
noon. Is
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1900-06-14
The Spau|ding Commencement
Opened
JOANNA PARKS FIRST
Was the Winner of the High
Place.

The annual commencement of the
Spaulding High School began last
evening with the prize speaking con-
test which was held ut the opera
house. The body of the house was
filled with admirlng friends of the
young people who took part in the
program, and of whom they were
Justly proud for each and everyone of
the participants was credit to the
institution which they represent and
Barre can we'll boast of possessing one
of the very best High Schools in Yer
mont.
The exercises last evening were
opened with prayer by the Rev. f..
M. Fuller and then Principal O. ID.
Mathewson introduced the speakers.
Miss Maude Lillian Ayres recited a
sketch entitled "Sombre''. She told
the pathetic story of the love of the
DpdulSll IlldluCu Am Va, lOl bCl pCC
and depicted the exciting bull fight
in vivid manner. She has an excel
lent voice and her articulation was
especially fine.
Arthur Howe Daniels possesses one
of the principal attributes of an ora
tor, that of making his listeners in
terested in his theme and compelling
attention. He is an easy speaker and
every word was carried to all parts of
the house. He acclaimed selection
from Hoge on "The unconscious
greatness of Stonewall Jackson.
Miss Gladys Edna Barron was set
down as prize winner from the mo-
ment when she made her graceful bow
to the audience. She is an imperSon-
ator of character sketches who has
made an enviable reputation since
her first appearance on the stage.
In the selection entitled "a Narrow
Escape" she appeared at her best and
she could be excelled by few profess
SIGNALS. Her portrayal of the excit-
ing Indian raid brought tears to many
eyes.
Miss Joanna Reed Parks told GLOW
The LaRue Stakes Were Lost. That
she was prize winner there was no
doubt in the minds of anyone of the
audience for she was beyond criticism
and was one of the leading favorlteS.
Her whole soul was in her work and
she displayed rare talent as an clo-
cutionist. 1t was indeed one of the
best exhibitions ever given by an
amatuer in this city.