Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-04-01

Copyright. isoo. by Q 3. Lewis.)

Eaid the old poSSum hunter as l aShco
him for yarn mo and tho old woman
got into a Jaw about 'coons. I held to 1t
that all coons orter hev bin bobtailed,
an she contended thet the Lawd made EN-
as he wanted 'em an did a good job.
We wasn't mad at fust, but the mo- we
talked tho meaner we felt and b.meby we
got downright ugly. 1t was Sunday mawn-
in an we Muz goin of to 'preachin' that
dey, but when I got my mad up 1 says:
AS long as I'm fur bobtailed coons an
the Lawd didn't make en- that way, it
amt no use fur mo to hear preachin'. I'll
stay at home, an yo kin go alone
Il reckoned that would cool her or a
bit, but it didn't. She chawed away at her
bacon fur awhile, an then said:
" Zeb White, thar's bound to be calam-
ity around this cabin Can't nobody find
fault tn way yo' do without sunthin hap
PENN. I'm goin' right along to preachin'
an If yo' want to fly in the face Of Prov
idence, yo' must take the consequences
." I'm contendin' fur bobtailed coons,
said L. II all coons was bobta.led, they'd
look heap purifier an git along heap
better
" But how kin they be when its all
fixed?
= Dunno. but I'm contendin'.'
!" Then yo' keep on contendin' an see
how YOU come out. Thar's bobtailed var
minis in the mountings, an mebbe yo'n git
'nuff of them befo yo' git through abusin
Providence
IF she'd coaxed me a bit, I'd hev gone
with her." explained Zeb. But she said
all she meant to- When she got ready, she
started OF through the woods an never
even looked at me. My rife was out OF
NJ olt had
SO / couldn't go stroIlin through the
woods. sot down on the doah step an
smoked pipe or two, an as it was
warm day began to feel sleepy. 1 welt
over an tumbled onto the bed, an it
wasn't five minutes befo' I was sound
asleep. The doah was left wide open an
about the last thing heard befo I drapped
Off was the old nrewl brayin' in the stable.
I'd bin asleep an hour when sunthin'
crowded me over agin the wall, an
woke UP. I opened my eyes to find a big
bar on the bed with me. He'd found the
doah open an walked in an. SEEM me
asleep he sot out to hev come fun. He
didn't see me open my eyes, an took keer
to shet em Tin after one look. Befo the
Lawd. but I was skeeredl / felt the cold
chills creepin' UP an down my back, an
the sweat busted out on me as If i was
chopin at big tree.
IT had found fault with the Lawd fur
not maxim bobtailed coons." continued the
old man, as he refilled his pipe, IAN a
bob tailed bar had bin sent in revenge.
1t wasn't no use to think of jumpin up or
fghtin him He had all the advantage,
an If made him mad he'd finish me up
In mint. My game was TO play possum
on him, but I hope l shall never hev SIGH
another two hours while 1 live. That bar
wanted a good time. He was feelin' good
natured, an he Jest tried all sort of circus
tricks with me. He'd roll me over ag in
the wall with a bang, an then arter a
chuckle he'd roll me back with flop. He
didn't bite at all, but every time he put
his claws on to me they went through the
cloth. I believe that varmint turned me
over so times befo' he got tired of it. 1
was playin' dead all the time an didn't
know what mint he'd git mad an set OUT
to finish me. He finally got thirsty an
jumped off the bed an went to the water
pail on the bench an Tapped away fur
ten nllnts. had my eyes open all the
time an was anxious to git away. but
was afeared of him. l couldn't fight him
barehanded an stand any show.
II Jest laid thar till the varmint had
quenched his thirst am looked around,
an then he come back ag'i in. The circus
was only half over. He was so rough at
times that I almost yelled out with the
pain, an between the clawin, an the
skeer.
wasn't much better that a dead man.
The mewl smelt o. bar an kept up ire
nlendous brayin', an the old woman heard
the noise when she was yit a mile away.
Bimeby, when the varmint had had show
with the price of admission, he settled
down fur a rest 1 was then lynn with
my face to the wall, an he planted all four
feet agin my back an kept up a sort of
purr.n'. He had me crowded ag'in the cab
In logs till could hardly breathe, an
made up my mind that I'd never tree an
other coon when the old woman got back
from preachin'. The old mewl was kickin'
an brayin', an she seen the tracks of the
bar leadn' into the cabin. She stood in
the doah AM got sight of the varmint on
the bed, an did thing which no man on
these here Cumberland mountings would
hev attempted. Thar was no gun at hand
TO shoot with, and her only show was to
take that bar by surprise That's what
she did She toptoed up to the bed an
fastened her fingers In his fur, an though
he was hefty load, she carried him to the
QOdH oil uulHpcu MIN oul L never klOWeu
she was home till she pulled the b ar away.
As 1 riz up the astonished varmint was
maxim fur the woods, while the old wom-
nm hadn't even turned pale.
"'Was-was 1t a barr I asked as she
took off her sunbonnet an began to clatter
the stove.
"'Of co'se,' she keerlessly replied.
" An what did you do with him?'
:" lest dumped him outdoahs Pears 10
me yo've bin hevin heaps of fun. Most of
yor clothes hev bin clawed off, the bed
quilts chawed to rags, an yo ar blood
from head to heel. Mebbe yo' was larnin
that bar lot of tricks?'
II tried to git out of bed to hug her an
praise her spunk," explained Zeb to me.
but 1 was so weak that l fell down. She
never let on to mind me- an had to help
myself up. Bimeby / got over to cheer
an dropped into 1t an asked:
" Did you find the preachin, and was it
good2
Powerful good she answered, but it
wasn't bout coon or bars. Anything
wantin of me befo' ! puts the kittle on?'
/" I'm wantin yo' to help me doctor up
bout TO hundred scratches, an I'm also
wantin to be forgiven fur my remarks bout
coons.'
"How Is it. zeb?' she said as she
turned on me. When the Lawd dun put
long tail on a coon, was II fur the likes