The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-10-07
HOW THEY MAKE USLAUGH;
SAMPLES or THE JOKES N coHE.
DAMS ARE NOW USING.
Dinicu't 60 Discover the Humor IN some OF
Them Though They Sound All Right EnouEn
when Told on the stage By q Comedian.

Dinicu't 60 Discover the Humor IN some o'
Their Though They Sound All Right Enough
when Told on the stage By q Comedian
New Yon.ors find much amusement Just
now In the music halls and vaudeville shows
about town. While they often come race 70
face with the stage jokes Of their ooyhood' The
starcotvped conundrum from the patent medi-
cine mans almanac or the stories they hearu
In the corner grocery days, they una muoh
that Is now and really witty. Most OF the funny
savings look nat in print. but the ridiculous
manner in which they are uttered and the
horseplay which accompanies most OF them
eprye 10 carry them on with more or less suo-
cesa The following Ia 40 popular Just now
that n ia being told in half a dozen New York
theatres nightly and has been in use for sx
months:
First Comedlan-My sister has great luok.
She was down TO Asbury Park this summer
and got a slOo pearl out Of an oyster,
second Comedian That's nothing. My sister
cor a diamond necklace this summer out OF
a lobster at Narragansett Pier.
Mason and Francis. a sketch team VINO
Niayr1 At Proctor's Twenty-third Street Theatre.
openad the programme with a sketch In which
the stage sthng showed the exterior OF a ooun-
try inn. THO man OF the team appears as a
farmer. The won an appears AZ the waitress.
After a little by play the farmer announces
that he would like some dinner. Many OF the
diahes he orders are not on the bill OF fare.
Finally. re SAYS he would like 10 have some
hard ciled potatoes.
W. haven't any, replies the girl. We
d1nt expect you .
well, then says he. -gve me q couple or
ioose eggs"
Haven't any u again the answer. We
didn't expect you.'
Well asks the farmer. didn't the hens or
poet me either2" and she answers:
mo. II they had. they would have been laying
for you
you're a wonder
you ought TO see my sister
where Is she7"
Doing a skirt dance in Aladdin
you ought to see my sister. Shes doing q
shirt dance In q laundry,
Walter Terry and Nellie Elmer. q SONG and
dance team, WIN appear later on. discuss matri-
monv. The girl finally sgys:
what kind Of a husband do you advise mo
TO get?" He replies;
Get a single man, and let husbands alone
Two men. billed as Smith and Csmpben.
talking comedians amuse the audience with
''!1 21rt gong to buy my Uncle Tom a candy
"'4Wiy' He might not IKE II.
NNaI III he 0On ' n " - " --
Don't stTins anything ike that on me- Did
you bear about my irleho'
NJ. a corser.-
Yes. he's got a Job in q bottling worhs.'
..R9 you know your coat don't ~ your
60 on. Us almost a conyulsion--
! met your yif' yesteTd1y'
No she didn't oven her mouth
That couldn't have been my wlio.
That's the only way I get the dust out
"ssy, do you know started in life a. a bare
Won. Ifil tel! you right here I wa-n's s"'~
WIZ !.VWeeIhio' 1T I'm we'll fixed now. I got a Job help:
ING nv M father. He's the superintendent OF
a n tory andhas a thousand men, under him.
That's nothing; my father had o"" men
under him.
Yes. when he went up in the balloon in
Wen, my father wa a soldier He was the
first man TO enlist In the izst Ipswich hesl-
""There's no such regiment, Don't tell that
to any one who knows snythfns
At Miner tRBiowery Theatre a team announced
Comedy. Joke about the motherSln-law the
IheT even go back to their grandparents
Campbel-My grandfather was so smart
Nv hhN" nv We
ne CSatSfiHaeld-who told him; tho sheriri
died Sf% up 2ad $50 WORTH Ts Of e9IE4l in Ter teeth.
ta1laeld-Thatl,S an awful lot OF money
sO ciaGm I4 sRe VEIL We. won't talk Obou. our
dead relatives; but did you hear about me
ne other night mot 4 D NJ Ina; w who CoS Of
sing longer than | could. took up the bet
and i sang Annie Laurie for two hours and
u TTaui1old-D,d Won yIn7
Campbel-Noi he sang Tho Stars and
'iItR 9ter on In the show Coulter and Starr,
negro comedians. get into an argument and
~ saw q deaf and dumb man run over this
Starr-Ah, go on. How could that he?
Coulter-lt's a fact; one OF his hands was
'U sstSSrrr-weI, its strange how, people viii
Eei In the way OF cable cars ana De fd'eI so
lie died at the age Of w.
COulter-Mlne died at 1876.
oossuIterGYes, 100 Eighth avenue.
Al the Broadway Music Hall De Wolf Hopper
and Lillian Russell chan each other FOR the
HopperISay. Lillian, just think OF va down
here at Weber 4 FIELDS. Why did you leave
Miss RusseuEIn tell you some day-some
a. they leave the stage Weber and Fields
come on. In n small wagon, which IA referred
Field don't like dose moving sidewalks.
You are liable 20 pass yourself mitout knowing
W,ber-Never mind: are you glad you
came 10 Paris 10 spend your vaccinations
Fields--Mcbhe, What did dot follow mean
by giving Us dot tip on der horse which did
Web,r-I didn't know what he meant. but
What no meant We got.
Field,-But he gave US a guarantee dor
horse would vim,
Webar-Yes, but when a horse loses him's
guarlntea runs out. Und he we're such a NICE
boilns horsa, but he stood dero yhen der race
commenced and waited, He wouldn't run.
Fields lie vas ashamed TO run init dem
Other sipbs.
Wcbrr ycl, Why did, you want to pick out
such n Aigh-toned horse?
Firlds-Scvcr mind. We viii make a million
doll1ra q dlv here.
Web4r-Den We will stay two days.
Webar-I would like to get my money In
surad so dot When spend II ! could get II back.
Enter Dave Warfeld rs the Hebrew.
Waraold-l want TO know II lost when l
bet'ed sOmeting?
T~iNlds-Mobbe, tell MS.
w,-Aeld-Do YOU know about military
Gods
"r-n'"
w~r1"ld-vhat must a man h. before he
-" Nurl'd hN init militarvs honors?
N,lgr-A Cartpin