Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1900-09-08
THE TH|RT|ETH CENTURY

| am clerk in the bureau Of carpet
tacks, department Of house furnishing Of
ID continent formerly North America
Although my labor is credited to Guthrie
1.-THE governmental center Of d continen0,
l prefer to reside on G continent former
~ Africa by reason of its superior eli
matte advantages, as well as the greater
/ selectness Of its single tax areas
| Having recently finished my proportion
| of individual labor for the common good
| during the current year and received
| government tickets for the same. | de
| termined to devote my vacation to max
| ing a slow journey throughout the world.
| My first destination | had determined
| should be the newest continent of all
| continent ii formerly Antarcticana)-and
| the slow passage thither on an airship.
freighter was a novel sensation indeed
! Under the most favorable conditions a
! speed of over 100 miles an hour was inn
! possible, and the voyage, although en-
livened by numerous well told legends of
! ships that sailed on the water, seemed in
terminable. When we flew over the gi-
gantic system of mirrors that by defect
| ing the rays of the sun have made semi
tropical country out of this erstwhile.
ice bound coast, the air became rather
oppressive, but in a very few minutes
we had reached the elevated landings
Rapidly spreading my wing planes, I
jumped outward from the deck and soon
reached the ground in safety.
The moving sidewalk carried me rap
idly TO place of amusement, where o.
man informed me that company would
give a faithful reproduction of the Won
derfu American allegory entitled IN
Gle Toms Cabin" He then stated that
in the DAYS of Mark ADtoDv for MorL+
Twain, as he was sometimes enormously
called and Mckinley Bill immense au-
diences gathered to witness this pagan
spectacle and that thol sands of negroes
were torn to pieces ~ savage blood
hounds for the delectation of the assem-
bled populace. In accordance with the
, rudely drawn pictures to be found In
the extant copies of a curious publica-
ton called a comic or comic weekly the
part of Little Eva was played by wo-
man of advanced years, and the cakes of
ice were represented by specially con-
structed and labeled soap boxes.
On leaving the public theater ! kept on
the moving sidewalk for a few miles and
then stepped off and walked for fully 20
minutes on the roadway. This unaccus-
toned exertion was rather fatiguing and
as night was drawing near | made haste
to find a place of shelter.
On my right hand / noticed what look
ed like a human habitation, although it
was not constructed of cut glass with in
side shades. as is our universal custom.
The house, if such it could be called. was
seemingly built of painted wood, with
square holes in which few small pieces.
of glass were set. Attracted by the pos
sibility of an adventure, which of course
is very rare nowadays, | walked at
onca IN tba door and antarad 4
at the threshold ] met the owner and
greeting him cheerfully announced my
intention of making brief stay with
him. Much to my surprise he seem
ed to demur, but soon recovering his
self possession ushered me into a room
and introduced me to his daughter. |
was rather embarrassed to perceive that
she was dressed in the picture custume
of antiquity. but presumed that it was
merely done in a sportive mood. Yet
truly she looked a vision of loneliness.
There was something almost pictur-
esque in the braided hair, full skirt and
jaunty, huge sleeved waist, with czari-
ma collar, and although for practical
purposes our present universal dress is
much better adapted for both sexes /
cannot but wish that, in the bosoms of
their families at least, women might
deign to wear the beautiful costume that
historians ascribe to the Parkhurstians
period,
On engaging the young person in con-
versation | was astounded to fad that
her name was Gladys. Who could be-
lieye that this name of the past was
worn by native of the thirtieih cen
tury?
But my wonder was further increased
when, still wearing the ancient carb. She
v.bi ciptb al
placed thereon several vessels Of the
chinaware similar TO that now in our
school museums. Instead of receiving
their portions of the condensed food in
gluten capsules from the pubic food fac
tories this family had evidently returned
to the old time custom of preparing their
food themselves in primitive style.
Much as ! marveled at this, | took my
place at the table with the twain and
joined in their unique repast. Strange
as it may sound. the roast slices of meat
and vegetables boiled in water tasted
extremely well, but the trouble and time
required 10 prepare and eat them must
become exceedingly monotonous.
After the strange meal was over
Gladys father left us. and | engaged the,
maiden in conversation.
She was entirely dissimilar to all the
women Of my acquaintance. Aside from
the wearing of such strange drapery
her voice was low and even instead Of
having the usual wonanly hardness.
and her gliding walk and composed man
ner bore no resemblance to the manners &,
of the brusque. eXcitable women who
lead the van of advanced thought in our
world councils.
| When | ventured to ask his reasons for
returning to barbarism in eating and
dressing, he turned on me fercely and
said: "Young man. I'm tired of being
machine. I'm radical believe the
| good old days were the best, and I'm
working as a missionary 10 endeavor to
get the people to vote them back again.
| Astounded. stupefied ny this mad
mans rawlings, ! retired To my bed. but
not to sleep This benighted family did
not use the water mattresses, which.
|