The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-02-14
SPINNING WHEEL.
TOM AND PET.

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TOM AND PET.
''our queen wears glorious crown, and
gorgeous robes of state"
Dom Paul wears a shocking bad hat, and
garments of ancient date
Our queen has golden scepter. On her
empire the sun never SETS
Dom Paul has a pipe for a symbol. He
rules whatever he gets.
Our queen has hosts of foot and horse, in
khadi, and red and blue
Dom Paul has an army of farming men,
in miscellaneous hue
When Tom sticks Pet with his bay'net, or
Piet plugs Tom with ball,
Tommy hurrahs for his queen. and PETER
cheers loud for Dom Paul.
Piet helps Tom when he's wounded, prayS
Ger his grave when he's dead.
When Pet is down Tom lends hand, and
joins when his service is read
NO rage or hate 'twixt Piet and Tom. The
moment the battle is done.
But sorrowing kin, on either side, mourn
father and brother and son.
tlghtlng for empire, or fatherland, neither
guilty of wrong,
Poor Tom ard PET for slaughter meet
How long, Lord, how long!'
Our queen cannot be blamed for this. She
always hated war.
Dom Paul kept peace as long as he could
He never thirsted for gore
Tom and Piet:
who brought us here in battle array?
Who forced us to mangle and Stay?
We wonder and fight. Let historians tell
Who should get bilets on Judgment Day
For quarters in deepest hell.
George Crouch in New York Sum-
A devoted Cleveland uncle took his
very small nephew out in the country one
bright day not long ago, and his friend,
the farmer, suggested he should go out
and hunt for eggs, relates the Plain
Dealer. OF course the small neph-
eW went along. The uncle knew
where to go, and, though he is fat and
scant of breath, managed to gather a
number from all sorts of hiding places
Presently he stopped and picked up a
bantam's egg. The small nephew saw it.
Put it back, unk," he shrieked, don't
90 see Eat one isn't ripe YETI
-:O-:
Did you ever ask a flagman a question
about some other subject than one con-
nected with the railroad? The fagman.
who always smokes q pipe, will set his
teeth hard on the stem, will look up the
road, then down the road, then up the
road again. He will not look at you
For two full minutes he will not give
any indication that he has heard your
question or that you are in existence He
will then look UP the road and down
the road again. This time he may take
his pipe from his mouth. but he will not
lock at you. He will work the tobacco
down into his pipe with his forefinger
and look up the road again. Still ne will
not look at you. He begins. however. to
give a faint sign that he has heard your
question. A minute later, looking down
the track, he may ask you to repeat your
question. You want to know where John
Brown lives. He looks up the read again
takes several strong pulls ON the pipe
and gaZes long and earnestly down the
road. He has not as yet looked AT you.
"Phat Brown is it p the fagman may
then ask.
John Brown"
It's Jerry Brown you want?"
mo. John"
rs he wild the Big Four?"
NO"
Still the fagman continues to look up
the road and down the road. He takes
his pipe from his mouth, never looking
at you, never giving q sign that you are
in existence. and says: If he isn't wild
the Big Four. how the divil should I
know him ?'-IndianapOlis News
-:o:-
The old man was sleeping sOundly, al
though the morning sun was well up in
the sky.
Cit up dar, LAS said the old wom-
an, giving him vigorous shake.
The old man raised himself in bed,
rubbed his eyes, then, jumping to the
floor, began to fail his wife with the
brOomstick.
What you beatin' me fer?' she gasped
Don't ak men' he exclaimed, excited
~, 'ain't | done toP you time and ergin,
never ter wake me wen | dreamin er
money atlanta Constitution.
-:O:-
The Scots of Topeka, Kas., gave them
selves dinner on January 25, the ami
versary of the birth of Robert Burns,
and this is the bill Of fare that they
tackled:
Cookie Leekie. Tattle Soup.
FIRST COORSE.
Tay Saumon wi Butter Broo,
Finnan Haddes,
Buckles and Iimpets.
yellow Fush' frae Aberdeen wi reekit
SECOND COORSE.
Scotch Collops frae Hielant Nowte,
Stewed Paitricks wi Puddock Stules.
Great Cheftain'' fair fau your honest
sonsy face.
THIRD COORSE.
Sleeps Held wi slowed Tatties,
Stuffed Bubbly Jock roasted,
Mealy Puddins an Sweeps Grayats.
Beers snOut stewed an stewed
Soo's Shout
Tatties peel, daub and eat.
Tattes Champit
Dashed NeepeS an SoOricks.
Maybe wee DOnaP.
FOURTH COORSE
Tripe in daubs sole your shoon.
Dramuch and Soor Dock.
Thin enough to droon rattens in.
FIFTH COORSE.
A cup O Lipton's half-a-croon.
Tairts O. hairy grG2ets an arreis.
Tremlin John an q wheea ither Ora
things.
Gasca Tupenny Pies an Shortbread.
Partan Pies an whangs O. Kebbuck.
Curny Bannocks an Scenes.
Golfers Jeey an Sweeties-
Maybe a bid Donals tae keep a doom.
"We're playing railroad train" she
said as she pulled her fathers paper
away "and I'm the conductor. Ticket