Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-04-14
Mr.. JOBSON GOES FISHING

l
evening last. what would you rather do or
go a-fishin'?''
Mrs. Jobson wasn't familiar with the
phrase. and she had to pass.
Yes, l am sane, went on Mr.. Jobson
observing Mrs. Jobson's puzzled look. ''Y on
are liable to railroad me across the Eastern
branch to the big government institution
sooner or later, Mrs. Jobson, but I'm sane.
all right. Here's what / mean: This is the
beauteous spring season. Therefore it is
the foolish season for fish. Fish bite in
spring in the upper Potomac. Likewise.
| nature is now assuming her lovelest robes
L propose that We get skifr tomorrow
| morning, row ten or fifteen miles up the
| upper Potomac, drink in the beauty of the
unfolding LEAKAGE, and catch barrel OF
fish. I'll do the rowing"
Mrs. Jobson kept at her honiton lace work
very indus trousy.
Aren't you afraid there might be some
danger in rowing now that you have grown
SO stout, and she began, after a pause.
"Oh, that's it, interrupted Mr.. Jobson.
You are of the opinion that it is my pur-
| pose to get You in a boat, pull her out to
the middle of the river and scuttle her; or
| else you think that don't know any more
about rowing than l do of the Higher and
Nobler-one or the other. Mrs. Jobson, L
| never won any diamond SOULS for rowing
and L don't pretend that l can beat a Nor
| folk boat down to Old Point in an outrigger;
but l can row. Mrs. Jobson-you don't want
to let that fact get away from you; can
row, all right. And 1 can fish, too. And
when you're throwing out jibes about peo-
Pile getting stout and puffy and things like
that. permit me to remind you that the
passing of the years is not leaving you
exactly so sylph-like as you were when
came along and rescued you from single
blessedness. l may not be quite so Slim
Jimmy and quick on my pins as l was a
couple o years ago, but If can't pull the
both of US up to where the falls begin on
Pptnmap a
breath, and then turn right around and row
you back again against the tide, you can
present my name for membership in the
Fat Mems Club, that's ALL
Thus it came about that shortly after .
o'clock on Sunday morning last, Mr. and
Mrs. JobSon, with a plethoric basket of
lunch. appeared at the foot Of one OF the
Georgetown streets, where Mr.. Jobson
rented lines and snkers and bought enough
bait to fit out a Gloucester fishing smack
for the Great Banks, and negotiated for
boat.
Il don't want any Of your tubs" said
Mr.. Jobson to the boatman. Gimme a
shipshape looking craft, that's got some
style about it-none Of these here clumsy
outfits that look Ike Dutch frigates In a
gale o. wind"
well. I'VE got some nice outriggers,"
said the boatman. looking Mr.. Jobson over
out of the tail of his eye, "but they're a
bit hard to manage If You amt used to
'em, and
Are, hey?" said Mr.. Jobson. "Well. if
there's any one thing that can do be-
sides smoking and not playing on the cor
net. It's just toying with an outrigger.
That's what I had in mnd-an outrigger.
Gimme the longest and lowest and rakish-
est one you've got in the barn, and you'll
see whether l can manage it or not"
But interposed Mrs. jobson, after she
had made some furtive gestures to the
boatman, haven't you often read Of acct
dents with that kind of boat, and aren't
they"
DO we do business, and do I get that
outrigger?" said Mr.. Jobson. severely, to
the boatman. who had no alternative. but
manded of him. Mrs. Jobson got into the
stern-sheets with many misgivings and
with the look. of one who is breathing silent
prayers. but Mr.. Jobson stepped in with
the air of a deep water, heavy weather
cox'un of a pirate captains gig.
Just pass me those oars" he commanded
the boatman, and then the boat was showed
off. Mr.. Jobson dug the right oar into the
water as if it was an oyster tong, and fan
ned the air with the left The boat careened
to the right, and Mrs. Jobson emitted lit
tie scream of alarm. Mr.. Jobson glared at
her. Then he dug the left oar into the
water. as if it trying to make sound
ing at that particular spot. while he welded
the right oar as if it were a cricket bat.
The boat listed to the left, and again Mrs.
Jobson emitted little scream of fear. hold
ing tight. Mr.. JObson glared at her
some more. pulled out his handkerchief and
mopped his face, and said deep things in
his throat.
This darned machine Is out Of order" said
he. 'or else You have put job on me with
the boatman, Mrs. Jobson. / suppose you
came over here late last night and fixed it
all up with him-arranged 1t SO that We
should both be dumped the dock, and
the boatman is to rescue you and let me go
to the bottom. Then you collect my in
surance money, pay your accessory in the
crime. and
Hey. there!" yelled the boatman; catch
this line. will you?"
Mr.. Jobson caught the line the boatman
threw him, and the outrigger was pulled
back to the float.
They're bit hard to manage. as told
you" said the boatman. Don't you think
a plain skiff is what you WANT"
Mr.. Jobson regarded the boatman and
Mrs Jobson savagely.
What I want" he said. sis some kind Of
boat that will go through the water-not
machine that Is purposely cranked up and
fixed for the purpose of sending people who
try to row it to a watery grave. If you've
got that kind of a boat haul it out; that's
ALL"
The boatman deposited Mr. and Mrs. job
son in a safe-lookng skiff of the fiat bottom
kind. handed Mr.. Jobson the oars and this
time Mr.. Jobson contrived to get the boat
away from the float without catching more
than half a dozen crabs. The tide was run
ming out. and by the time Mr.. Jobson had
pulled the skiff halfway across the stream
he began to pant and snort and puff like a
small steam tug pulling at an ocean steam
ship. The boat meanwhile was rapidly
going down stream with the tide Mr.. job
son mopped his perspiring face and gazed
coldiy at Mrs. Jobson. who was hanging on
to the gun'ls with pale countenance
You just did this to hurliliate me.
didnt you, madame?" said Mr.. Jobson'
picking up the oars and pulling hard fer
the opposite shore. Its just pie for you to
have your husband made to look cheap in
the eyes of the riff-raff. isn't it?'
II m sure / don't know what you"
on, no; you don't know anything about
it, snorted Mr. Jobson. You didn't rock
that outrigger with your two hands so II
wouldn't work as soon as began to row in
1t, did you? And you didn't wink to that
ooatman to pick out the heaviest tub of a
gaiieon that ever crawied through water to
make it appear that l was shy in rowing
ability, did you?"
MI Jobson, wen be down TO the Long
bridge soon If you don't take the boat fur
ther up the stream said Mrs. Jobson
noticing the rapid drift of the skiff down
stream. land then
Let 'er drift out to sea- madame" said
MT. Jobson, in tone of deadly GOODNESS:
IT would serve you right for forming an
alliance with a murderous boatman to-,
Then MIR. Jobson went at the oars and
| xlt.,r