The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-09-26


If whit" the foreign" newspaper
correspondent of this place ever goes
to Ararat, this county, and the people
there know he is within reach, some
thing will surely happen. In no other
place has he located such number of
freaks. monstrosities, and altogether
outlandish things as in that township.
The last yarn is about n man in that
locality who has never rode ten miles
on a railroad train, and has never worn
socks. collar or nccktie.-Susquehan
Journal
FLOTSAM AND JETSAM.
Tho Prohibtonists this year are 60
ing into the campaign with ardent
spirits.
"A fellow feeling makes us Won
drOuS"--blind.
When one man tries to do the work
of three, the work of the two remains
undonc.
If a man wants to give helping
hand to n struggling young man, let
him slip in four aces.
\ man who doesn't know anything
he gets.
There was man IN our town,
And he was wondrous wise;
lie made . stake because he
Nccr failed to advertise
How the father of this country would
stare to see the size of his family now
| adays.
Neglected graves arc not half so sad
as neglected poor people who will soon
need graves.
RAILROAD NOTES.
1t is said that some of the railroads
| will supply interpreters to the passen-
| gers what the names of the stations
are after the brakemen have called
| them.
some active Eric engineers in Sus-
quehanna have steadily pulled the
| throttle since the years 1S45-'46.
AS one result of the coal strike, SOW
! eral grade pusher engines in Susque-
| hanna have been laid of.
AFTER THOUGHTS.
Adam never had a mOther-in-law.
! The big head is a complaint peculiar
| to small men.
A successful farmer never tries to
| get whipped cream by beating his
| cows.
a laugh is worth a hundred groans
in any market.
RHINOCEROS ROAMED HERE
| ABOUTS.
| About a mile from Gulf Summit lab
| orels have been at work for some time
in making an excavation for blue
stone. Nothing unusual was discov-
cred there until the other day, when
the fossilferous remains of some very
large animals were found, and near
them fosslized portions of a human
body. What is peculiar about the find
is the location of these fossils within
stratum of shelly rock and earth.
with solid hagstone rocks above and
| below them.
The feet and part of the legs and
what is taken for the head Of Il large
animal indicate that they belonged to
| a creature somewhat resembling the
rhinocerous. The portions of the hu.
man body found are the trunk. with
the neck almost entire, and the
arms broken off at the should
or. IT is likely that the man ana the
animals We're once occupants of u cave
interlying the strata Of rock, and were
either placed there after death or were
overtaken there alive by an inundatior
of water and rock debris, and became
petrihcd.
MATTERS IN GENERAL.
Some man who has a genius fo,
statasmanshjp ought 10 discover 1
scheme TO avoid strikes.
Female blacksmiths begin by shoe
ing hens.
The man who doesn't know wher,
his next dollar is to come always send
it where his last went,
Man was created first. Woman wa
u sort of recreation.
The oyster is not what he used t.
be.-ENchange. He certainly is no
apt to be if he is kept too long.
one Of the curiosities to be shown a
, the coming Binghamton fair will be
, whole carload of coal.
A Lanesboro man last week caugh
a mud turtle Weighing sixty pounds
| Winter has few terrOrs for a man VIII
knows where his seasons supply 0
meat is coming from.
\ Stevens Point mans poultry ha
been stricken with some sort of III
, sease, and they are almost innocent q
, feathers. He has asked the villag
. sewing society to meet at his home t
d make pantilettes for his naked fowl
SOME NEW GLEANINGS.
If the coal strike is a "laster," Sus
quehanna people will place orders 70
hard wood and soft coal. The woo
acid factories have made great inroad
in the supply of hard wood in this sec
! ton during the past twenty years, ye
= there is a large amount remaining.
; Italian workmen from the Hudso
t river section are being brought by tn
l. Delaware and Hudson company I
work on the improvements being mad