The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-03-21
SPINNING WHEEL.
A LAY OF THE ANCIENTs.

And / would fain repeat the name
And deeds of those well known to fame
Chief orator in all those scenes
! warrant was great Demosthenes,
Who made his speeches to the throaS,
Without q stutter, all day long.
While wiser far than all his mates
/ IN just as sure was wise Socrates,
Who taught here. fearless of the lip
he got when living with Xantppe.
And living still within his means
Was economic DiOgeneS,
Who, having found an honest man,
Had snapped his lantern for fan
wandered to the ballroom floor,
And there | saw fair Terpsichore,
Who danced amidst a hundred maids.
None sweeter than the sweet Pleiades;
And none to me were quite SO nice,
Among them all, as Eurydice.
In that department where abideS
The court Of justice, Aristides
Was seated on a front bench high,
And spoke to me as | passed by.
And busy still upon his deeds
OF science was great Archimedes
Beyond the limits of the schools,
Among the athletes was Hercules,
The strong man of the show, you bet,
And one 4 fellow can't forget;
Alongside, dressed in. steel-trimmed frills,
] saw the warrior bold Achilles,
And near him weeping, in a robe
VI s0mber shape, sat sad NiObe,
A lady who has wept so much,
It makes one cry TO think Of such.
Now wandering on, my sight reveals
The famous sculptor PraXiteles:
with chisel drawn, he's making terms,
l Ween, to sculpt another Hermes.
And thus | wandered in my dream
And met at every turn stream
OF famous and illustrious shades
Inha biting the realm of Hades.
Who seemed to be quite satisfied
And showed me round the place with pride
w lillian j. hampton III New l0rk sun
When Isaac Van Alphen. the, postmas-
ter-general of the Transvaal and a warm
fri Of in, I,
try in attendance on the postal congress,
he had an amusing experience which he
still likes to refer to, relates the Sat
urday Evening Post. Walking arm iii
arm with friend near the Pennsylvania
station i'll Baltimore one day, the dis
tlnguished foreigner was approached by
policeman, who announced that Van,
Alphen had been ordered to appear be-
fore the coroner to act as a juror.
BY what authority do you ask this!'"
by the authority of the state Of Mary
land
Il acknowledge no such authority"
said Van Alphen, the humor of the situa
ton breaking upon him.
You acknowledge no such authority"
repeated the policeman with amazement.
What do you mean"
Well" announced Mr. Van Alphen
nonchalantly, Il am q resident Of Pre-
toria in the South African republic, and
l don't acknowledge the authority of the
state of MARYLAND in this instance.
Pretoria, South African republic.'
echoed the policeman, puzzled for a mo-
ment, but finally he begged Mr. Van
Alphen's pardon and walked away, say
ing audibly, We'll, you're about the
whitest coon / ever saw"
Little Lou-'Mah nanny wants ter
know eff yo' got any stylish color dyes"
Drug Clerk-''What does she want it
for?''
Little Iou-'.She done got de misery
in her stummick, an the doctor say she
must diet: an she say if she hab ter
dye it she want it some han some color
Judge.
An old worthy in the town of H
made it his business to call OH people
whom he knew to be i'll or confined to
the house. and, in addition TO expressing
sympathy in the orthodox manner, read
portions of Scripture BY way of consola-
ton. On one occasion he took as his
lesson the first chapter of Matthew He
got to the second verse in safety. but
casting his eye down the page he was
rather taken aback at the list of names
Not having exactly received a universe
ty education he was in 4 fix. Rising
grandly to the occasion, however, he ex-
claimed: "Hoots, ay, an they a begat
ane anither doom tae ABBOTT the middle
o the chapter" and proceeded Oh his
way rejoicing.
An East Indian prince, on his first visit
to this country, suffered SO continuously
from cold that he contracted pneumo-
MIA and died. He was cremated, and
after being some ten minutes in the;
crematOry an attendant opened small
slide in the side of the furnace to note
the result. The prince was sitting bolt
upright on the Slab and shouted, shut
that door.'-Life.
Col. James Hamilton Lewis, the brill
liant Democrat, who served in the last
Congress from the state of Washington
and now the Pacific coast possibility for
vice-president, basks frequently these
days. in the light of the capitol. Col.
Lewis i'll former days has given the
House examples of his negro dialect sto
ries-he is Virginian by birth-and now
he is telling one ON Senator Hanna. The
skeleton Of the story is old, but Col.
Lewis declared to a group of listeners a It
the capitol that the new flesh and blood
entities it to be called original.
The other afternoon" said Col. Lewis,
standing on the rear platform Of the New
York limited smoking one of his Havan-
as-Iately sent from one of his Cuban
dependencies-the colored porter of the
Pullman. just as the car was pulling out,
most graciously tapped the senator on
the shoulder, saying:
Boss, you CANT stan out there
Why can't / stand out here?' re-
sponded the senator. What is a plat
form for if not to stand 0n?'
''Ihe porter looked him over, replying
quickly:
EFF dey's any one gemman in de
United States dat knows dat amt SO, |
Boss Hanna, you is de man-de platform
is ter git in on de cars, and when yer
done got yer berth yer keeps off de plat
form, 'cept when yer goes ter git anud- |
der berth. Washington Post.
"Pa. s'pose that when Adam an Eve
We're hustled out O. Paradise they went
with rush, didn't they?" Pap sighed |
Il suppose So" he said. Kan, per-
haps?" Perhaps And Cain ran
ahead" Maybe So THAT was the
original Cain rush. wasn't it, dad?''-
Cleveland Plain Dealer
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