davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
Not What she Expected

"What was the happiest moment OF
your lifef" asked the sentimental maid
en-.
.'Why do you ask?" inquired the prac-
tical matron.
"Oh, have a theory" replied the sen
timental maiden, that practically the
same causes contribute to the happiest
moment in every woman's life. | know
how it is in my own case. Last evening
Arthur told me- But first tell me about
the happiest moment in yours"
"Well," replied the matron thoughtful
ly, II think the happiest moment in my
life was about two years ago. | had been
without a girl for three weeks and was
just about discouraged when one applied
for the place That made me reasonably
happy, but when she said she didn't OBJ
ject to children. wanted only one evening
out n week and was willing to do the
washing. well-well, that was the hap
piest moment OF my life."-Chicago Post.
WAY Aim win one Eye:
Joskins-l say, old boy, this is my
first day at shootin. You might tell me
In confidence what people shut one eye
Cor when they're sightin anything.
Hoskins-Oh that's perfectly simple,
my dear fellow. Yon see. if they We're
to shut both eyes they wouldn't be able
to see nything.-Pick Me Up.
A Helpful sugGestIo..
kin yeou tell me, young felier." in
lu1red Mr.. Reuben Hay of Four Cor
ners. "Yhere hereabouts | kin git me q
good farmer suitY'
why. there's n good pharmaceutist
not two blocks away" replied the
young fellow blithely .-Harper's Ba-
Zar
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
The Preacher Was Glad She Swore.

The Preacher Was Glad She SwOre.
The daughter of a well known clergy
man in Washington had a severe at
tack of scarlet fever when she was 3
years old which resulted in deafness.
Up to that time she had been a regular
little chatterbox, doing her infantile
best to carry out the proverbial:
Being woman, she'll talk forever!
Upon her recovery her parents were
nearly heartbroken to find that she had
not only lost her hearing. but the pow
er of speech as well. Whether she had
really forgotten how to talk or whether
1t was obstinacy or lack of confidence
they could not determine, but despite
all efforts Of the best tutors the child
remained mute.
One day when she was nearly 10
years of age she was playing with a
cat, and with as much cruelty as
though she were of the sterner sex she
used it's tail as handle with which to
pick it up. The poor animal, not appre-
ciating the economic use of the afore-
said tail, inflicted deep scratch across
the chubby little hand.
Damn that catr' she said, fiinging it
down.
And her father. devout clergyman as
he was, clasped his hands and, raising
his eyes to heaven exclaimed:
Thank God, that child has spoken at
lastr'-Detroit Free Press.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27

Latin A mericnn md Pan-Amerlcan.
The press Of the various countries Of
Latin-America show cordial interest
In the Pan-American Exposition. Ii Is
recognized that their cooperation Is es-
sential to the end that the Exposition
may adequately represent the progress
of all the states and countries of this
hemisphere AS rule the editors Of
newspapers and other publications In
the countries to the south Of the United
States display a very favorable atti.
tude toward the enterprise. B. B. Lo-
peg, editor and proprietor Of La Core
spondencia de Porto Rico, has become
30 enthusiastic over the Exposition
that he writes to the Press Department
that he Is about to come to Buffalo to
see for himself the progress made in
the development Of the Exposition. He
will be accompanied by his family.
Many other editors of the Latin-Ameri-
can press have also announced their In
tention to attend the Exposition, and
inquiries are pouring in from these
countries regarding steamboat and rail
road routes Many editors and corre-
spondents from Central and South
American countries have already Wis
tied the Exposition grounds.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
HerCeIewtial Credentials.

"Put II down thar" said the old man
to the obituary writer, that she wuz
AZ an likely fer her age
That's down."
THAT she wuZ never known ter
speak a cross word, bein def an dumb
from childhood"
"All right"
THAT she is now at rest on Abra-
hams BOSOM But hold on! Amt
that whar Lazarus isE'
II think So
He paused moment as If in deep
thought. Then he said:
mo matter, Put 1t down that she's
thar. too. fer ef ever Lazarus sees her
comm he'll vacate an hunt another
restin place. Sides that, he's been thar
too long anyhow"-Atlanta Constitu-
ffon
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
ChristeninE the Children.

An English parson of a church In
Berbice, British Guiana, writes enter
tainingly Of his pastoral duties, In the
matter of christening the choice cf
name is left to the taste or fancy of the
parents. This leads to strange combi-
nations. He copies from his register
"Nannie Bellona," !" "Trank Locust and
"Whisky Emmanuel" OF earlier times
he tells the following:
One black man brought his Child, and
when the minister asked its name lie
said, "Seriatim ad Valorem."
On another occasion the parson ask
ed, "What is the name of the child?"
The father said, AK, parson." The
minister looked inquiringly at the man
and said:
But don't understand you"
"Well, parson," said the man, "my
mind gle me to go troo de New Testa-
ment | have had four boys. The first
was named Matthew, the second Mark,
the third Luke and the fourth John.
Now, this, the fifth one, Is to be AK
[Actsl, parson."
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
Architectural Oddities.

At Frankfort-on-the- Main there Is
one street in which two houses on op-
posite sides of the street lean over so
far that their roofs meet over the
street In one OF these houses Lord
Rothschild was born. In Paris. on the
other hand, it Is noticeable that the
builders Intentionally construct the
houses so that they lean backward
slightly to add to their stability. But
almost in the center of Paris there Is
one big stone building which leans out
fully 31a feet over the sidewalk. So
solid, however are the Paris buildings
that this one is claimed to be safe
Pearson's Weekly.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
INDORSED BY DEPEW,
SAYS THE "PAN-AM." WILL SURPASS
THE PARIS FAIR.

Tells Chairman j. n. Scatcherd the
Half Has Not Been Told OF the
Grandeur and Beauty of the Expo
SItion Mt Buffalo.
"Scatcherd, you did not praise 1t half
enough"
SO spoke the distinguished statesman
and famous after dinner orator, Sen
ator Chauncey NJ. Depew, as he stood
in the center of the grounds Of the
American Exposition at Buffalo
and gazed upon the beautiful struc-
lures surrounding him ON every side
and now approaching completion.
Senator Depew had come to Buffalo
to deliver an address. His first desire
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
A Flour Shampoo.

Rather a novel idea in the care e the
hair, says an exchange. Is -four slam
poo, which some hairdrcssers now Use.
The -four is sifted into the hair In hand
fuls The locks are then divided. into
sections ard brushed with soft br ush
until every particle of -four Is removed.
Two or three applications of the hour
are made each time, which removes a
quantity OF dust when brushed out
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
Proof to Her.

81 am quite certain that poor man
has seen better times" said Mrs. Gaz-
zam after giving breakfast to a tramp.
mo doubt" added Mr.. Gazzam dry
ly. "They all have"
"But this poor fellow didn't ask me
for broken victuals. He said 1t grieved
him to be obliged to apply for cola
tion."-Detroit Free Press.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
Tho Commercial Instinct.

Mamma-Tommy do stop that noise.
IL you'll only be good, I'll give you a
penny.
Tommy-No; l want a nickel.
Mamma-Why, you little rascal. you
were quite satisfied to be good yester-
day for penny.
Tommy know, but that was bar
gain day.-Philadelphi Press.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
SERVICE BUILDING.

of the domes. These sculptures in
staff will be conspicuous features of
the architecture Of this beautiful build
ing. Models in clay are first made of
the figures and from them reproduc-
tions in staff are cast.
The model of the eagle has just been
completed. 1t Is Of colossal size. In
the model nearly 10000 pounds OF clay
have been used, and each bird, when
cast in staff, will weigh fully two tons.
The sculptured eagle will measure
nearly 16 feet In height
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
DimCouraRInX.

"Its very discouraging," said the
young man. 81 confess that at times
considered myself genius
"But perhaps you are" suggested his
friend soothingly.
Impossible. explained my plans
to half a dozen hard headed, practical
men. and not one Of them seemed to
think that | was blamed fool."-Life.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
Am Unexpected Retort.

hWhere." asked the female suffrage
orator, "would man be today were 1t
not for woman?
She paused a moment and looked
around the hall.
81 repeat" she said. where would
man be today were 1t not for womanY
He'd be in the garden Of Eden eat
Ing strawberries" answered a voice
from the gallery.-Boston Traveller.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
A $4,000 A. O. q. w. Building.

men are planning elaborately to wei
come the members of the order to Buff
falo next year. The Supreme Lodge
has appropriated $1,000 and the State
Lodge $1,000 more 10 be used for the
erection and furnishing of a fine head
quarters building at the PanAmeriGan
Exposition. The Supreme Lodge will
meet In Buffalo next year. The build
ing Is handsome pavilion. with rooms
for rest. and the upper floor a great
balcony. with easy chairs. for all men,
bars of the order who attend the Ex-
nOSitiOn
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
Character shown by the Nose.

Here Is an article in the paper that
says a woman's character can be deter
mined by her nose"
"Well. there may be something in
that. but there's a surer way. No one
can make u mistake concerning wom-
ans character II he will look at the
noses of other women who meet her.
The extent to which they turn up at
such times shows just what she is or
isn't. 't."-Chicago Times Herald.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27

and to present through the medium -
an army of enterprising exhibitors n
true picture of nineteenth century de-
velopemnt. John G.. Milburn. an emf
nent lawyer of Buffalo, is president,
and the director general is William
l. Buchanan, who was director of the
departments of agriculture, live stock
and forestry at the Worlds Columbian
Exposition at Chicago and afterward
for six years United States minister to
the Argentine Republic.
MARK BENNITT.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27

Their Caller-I don't see why Count
Parchesi and his American wife should
quarrel.
Miss Davis-Their interests clash. do
they not?
Their Caller-Not to any marked de-
gree. She wanted foreign alliance
and he a foreign allowance, that's all.
Harlem Life.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
A WoNaH's Awful Peril

There lis only one chance to save
your life and that is through an Operat-
ion" were the startling words heard by
Mrs. l. B. Hunt of Lime Ridge, Wis.
from her doctor after he had vainly tried
to cure her of frightful case of stom-
ach trouble and yellow jaundice. Gall
stones had formed and she constantly
grew worse. Then she began to use
Electric Bitters which wholly cured her
ats a wonderful Stomach, Liver and
Kidney rsmedv Cures Dyspepsia. Loss
4sf Appetite, Try it, Only scots Guar
ANTE I'd. For sale by Paules & Cos.
Druggists.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
Tortured A Witness.

Intense suffering was endured by wit
ness T. L. Martin, of Dixie, KY, before
he gave this evidence, Icoughed every
night until my throat was nearly raw
then tried DR.. Kings New Discovery
which gays instant relief / have used
it in the family for four ysars apd re
commend it as the gfSatest remedy for
Coughs, Cold and all Throat. Chest and
Lung troubles 1t will stop the worst
cough and not only prevents but ahso-
luteiy cures Consumption. Price SOC
and S1O0. Every bottle guaranteed.
Trial bottles free at Paules & Cos Drug
Store.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
Hoxx yfmrnra weara the Rock

All who have been to Niagara know
that the cataract Is divided by Goat is
land, the larger portion Of the fall be
ing on the Canadian side Of the river.
This part is known as the Horseshoe
fall and was SO named because years
ago 1t was identical with a horseshoe
In shape. a few years ago V shaped
break occurred toward the New York
side, and since then other changes have
taken place, until today the Horseshoe
fall is more like It's original form, but
clearly shows the effects of the wear
ing Of the waters.
Many people fail to see how the falls
wear the rock away, and this is little
mystery until the exact conditions are
realized. The ledge OF rock over which
the water OF both the American and
Horseshoe falls flow Is of hard lime
stone It is all of 60 feet thick and
naturally very heavy. Underneath this
ledge Of limestone there are the shales
of the Niagara locality. This soft rock
Ia many feet thick. The rock of the
Horseshoe fall Is unprotected, and as
the water falls over the precipice and
boils in the river below 1t washes away
the soft shale beneath the limestone,
so that the limestone is left in shefiike
form, projecting far out into the gorge.
Observant visitors to the falls have no
doubt noticed this condition.
In the course Of time the shale foun-
dation of the limestone ledge is exca-
waited to such a point that the unsup-
ported ledge breaks away by its own
weight, and the crest line Of the Horse
shoe fall recedes so much farther.
Then the water attacks the newly ex-
posed shale, and in time the process
outlined Is repeated This has been 60
ing on for centuries, and it will con-
tinue until the falls Of Niagara are no
nore.-Philadelphi Record.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
Not 0nffe CIeQF.

Hinkly-I wonder what Stilson was
driving al this evening?
Holden-What did he say?
Hinkly-It was at the club, and l
was having a broiled lobster Stilson
suggested that was a sort of cannibal.
I'm half inclined to suspect he was
making fun of me, although don't see
how.-Roston Transcript.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
Told the Truth,

Mother-Now. George, ! shall tell
your papa to punish you severely fer
telling an untruth. You said you didn't
touch one of those six peaches. and
there is only one left. and | found the
five stones in your nursery.
Georgie-I told no story, mamma.
The peach | didn't touch is the one
bat 20 loF
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
The Gnft AnMYT@r.

"Therer' said the angry man. shoy-
ing a photograph, presumably of him
self. under the photographers nose.
do you know what that makes me
look likeY'
eff you mean what it makes you look
like at the present moment" answered
the photographer, surveying the face
OF the angry man carefully, 81 should
cay It makes you look as If you were
about to throw a t."-Indianapolis
PraSS
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
Reuinninw Early.

'Shall | have to get married when
grow up?" asked little Flossie one day
Of her mother.
"Just as you please, DEAR" answered
her mother, with a smile. Most women
do, however"
Eyes; l suppose SO" continued the lit.
tie girl musingly, land | think I'd bet,
ter start and look out for a husband
now. They say that Aunt Jane has
been at it for 90 years and hasn't
caught one yet."-Exchange.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
J. j. II ROW NJ,



Man Ito lawyerl-l've been badly bit
ten by dog. Can ! get damages from
its master?
Lawyer-Did you do anything to irri-
tate the dog?
Man-No.
Lawyer-Were you on its owners
premises?
Man-Er-yeS.
Lawyer-ln what capacity? AS
friend or
Man-Of course this is strictly conf
Dental.
Lawyer-Certainly.
MAXWELL, | was trying to break In
to his house.-PickMe-U
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27

The popularity of the capon seems to
be on the wane, says Maine Farmer,
and that by reason of the Improvement
in roasters the fancy Is now turning to
younger and more tender stock. There
is no call for debate over merits of one
or the other. The only thing to do is
TO follow the market and furnish what
the consumer wants.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
PRODUCTION of Nickel.
Worlds CHAMPION.

Il tried many remedies to cure piles,
writes w. R. Smith, of Latham, III.
but found no relief till ! used Bucklen &
ArHioa SalEe. | have not been troubled
with piles since. 1t s the only champion
pile cure ON earth and the best salve in
the world 25c per box, guaranteed by
Paules & Cos. druggist.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
TIE EAst Gold Cure.

one you can take without Interrupt
lion TO business. One that does Roo
effect TIE head or hearing like the con-
tinued use of quinine One that cures
speedily and leaves you feeling fresh and
clear headed. Such one in Kranse's
Cold Cure. Price 25c. Sold by Ross
man q Sons Pharmacy.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
no Need of Chasing.

Jeweler-This ring is 81 more than
the plain one on account Of the chas-
Ing.
Farmer-See here, mister, yew don't
haf ter chase me. I'm goin ter pay fer
what git.-Chicago News.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
A Keen Clear Brain.

Your best feelings. your social position
or bushes success depend largely on the
perfect action of your Stomach and
Liver Dr. Kings New Life Pills give
Increased strength, keen, clear brain,
high ambition. A % Gent box will make
you feel like a new being. Sold by
Paules & Cos druggists.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
West Indinnn VIII Attend.

Louis II. Ayme, United States Consul
to Guadeloupe, says that in the West
Indies the Pan-American Exposition IS
considered much more important than
the Centennial Exposition of 1876 and
that hundreds of natives are preparing
to come to 1t.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
A Helpful suggestIu..


''Didn't you start out with Il play
called Turned AdriftY" asked the
friend.
dian and repertory actor. Mr.. Barnes
Tormer but we couldn't get anybody
60 float il, indianapolis Press.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
The Point of View.

Miss WilIng-Do you believe II is
wrong to marry for money?
Parson Brown-Of course not. Five
dollars is my regular fee. - Chicago
News.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27

Mrs. Hayseed-Did you go to hear
the bowling dervishes while you were
In the city?
Mr. Hayseed-No. but went to Cous-
In Mirandas, and she's got twins
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
Colds Melt AWAY

if you use Krause's Cold Cure. Pre-.
pared in convenient capsule form they
are easy to take and effect a speedy
cure of the most obstinate cases. Price
25c. Sold by Rossman & Sons Phar.
uacV
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
Willing to Liaten.

Mr.. SLY love you more than words
ran tell.
Miss Sharp-Then let the preacher do
the talking.-Detroit Free Press.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
EAGLES AT THE EXPOSITION
Remarkable Decoration For EthnOl-
oEy Building Mt Buffalo

OEy Building Mt Buffalo.
The building devoted to the Depart
ments of Ethnology and Archaeology at
the Pan-American Exposition, which
is now approaching completion, will
have some remarkable sculptural dec
orations. Among them will be gigantic
figures of eagles and lions, which will
be placed upon eight of the 16 panels
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27

The infancy Of British manufactur-
ing was nursed by engineers from Hol-
land. who superintended tie erection of
wind and water mills.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1900-12-27
EARLY Football Players.

Football was for many years the ma
tional game Of Florence. The season
was from January to March, and the
ladies and gentlemen of Florence and
the populace as well were wont to as
semble on the Piazza Santa Gioce to
witness the game. which was called
"Calcio." from the word meaning ito
KICK" The last game was played In
l739.-St. Louis Globe Democrat.
production of Nickel.
A new process for the production OF
nickel has recently been announced In
France. 1t aims to produce pure nickel
from the nickel matte In but two aperr
atoms. The ore is first treated In a
Mauches converter to eliminate the
iron, and crude nickel is obtained.
which contains about per cent OF sui
phur. This crude nickel In turn Is
treated In an open hearth furnace. and
by the use OF special desulphuriZing
reagents the pure metal Is obtained.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1900-06-28
The Buff and Blue
Oahu College Annual

The first attempt at college annual
by Oahu College students is noat
volume under the title The Bun and
Blue" As the first effort It is sue
cess and as an established publication
Of the college 1t will doubtless be en-
larged and improved in future years.
Like all good ideas. the natural com.
mont is wonder that the students
have not thought to branch
out in this line of work
before. Its object as expressed
by the management" is to unity col
legc and represent the real college
life" No one acquainted with college
life fails to appreciate that a creditable
annual does more to keep alive the ac-
tive interest of alumni and attrac; new
students than all the catalogues that
could he issued
The Buff and Blue contains short
history of each class written in the
usual college annual vein and very
complete review of the literary. must
cal and athletic work of the under
graduates. which proves that the Puma
hou young men and women OF today
are keeping up with the high standards
their predecessors have set in the de-
velopment of brain and Drawn. Hug
trations are profusc including photo
graphs of President Hosmer. the
faculty, graduating class and various
athletic organizations. The usual
"grinds" are added as representing the
spice and comicalities that intersperse
the humdrum of the class room. The
volume is dedicated to retiring Presi
dent Hosmer whose name will ever be
associated with progressive end more
successful days of the college. The
editors are: Alfred l.. Castle Richard
A. Cooke, Harold |. Cruzan. lwglani *.
Dayton, NJ. Hester Lemon. Ethel NJ.
Damon, May r. Klucgel Florence Hin.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1900-06-28
RAISE WEST POINT STANDARD

Washington, June l5.-The Board Of
Visitors at West Point have completed
their work. The most important con-
clusion reached by the Board was a
unanimous recommendation that the
present the entrance examination is
envy be raised materially so as to ac-
cord with the first years work. At
present the entranjce examination is
framed under the old law, and is so
elementary that cadets readily enter
the institution. Once inside, however,
they are confronted with very diff
cult course, and 80 per cent drop out
the first year. This is humiliation
to the cadets who fail, and also q
source of confusion and expense, The
Board of Visitors felt that it was quite
unjust TO admit a cadet by an ordinar!
examination and then force him out o.
the academy by rigorous course.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1900-06-28
SANITARY RULES AMENDED
But Little BullneSS Done by Board
Of Health.
Publicity As Preventive Of Food AtUllerallOn
The Pantheon Saloon DSpensary
Building Proposal,

The first meeting of the Board of
Health of the Territory of Hawaii was
called for p. m. yesterday. Ten min
utes later all the members now in the
city held a private meeting in the for
mer Agricultural office, those present
being: DR.. Wood, DR. Emerson. At
torney General Dole, Geo. w. Smith,
+. J. Lowrey and L. c. Winston. The
absentee was Or. c. d. Cooper, now in
California.
At $3.50 the members returned and
DR.. Wood, taking the chair, called on
Secretary Charles Wilcox to read the
minutes of the latest few meetings of
the old Board.