Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1900-11-09
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! AON SWIM " lihC allCnllOuS. w NY
don't you marry himY' Because like
his attentions. Brooklyn Life.
My wife is helping run one of these
rummage sales" "Well, don't you like
it?" Like it? Oh, yes; l lived all
last week on ham bone, and this week
l suppose l shall have to subsist on let
tuce."-lndianapolis Press.
| Automatic grand opera: Mrs. Brown
tat Mrs. Smiths tea)-Oh, dear, that
dreadful Miss Smith is singing again.
| | wonder what started her? Tom
Brown aged d. dropped penny
down her back w4an she wasn't look
ing.-Chicago Journal.
Il must confess to a great deal Of
egotism," said Willie Washington. "In-
deed?' responded Miss Cayenne. "Yes.
| think about myselfentrely too much"
"Oh. that isn't egotism. That's merely
the usual human tendency to worry
over tribes. Washington Star.
The mature maiden who was preparN
ing to go downtown to have her pho
tograph taken, surveyed herself criti-
cally once more in the mirror. II think
l prefer to do my own retouching," she
said, opening another jar, and reaching
for the necessary implements.-Chi
Tribune.
Were you interested in the piano re-
citaly' asked the musician. wen, an
swered Mr.. CumroX, "it was a little
slow at first; but after l caught the
spirit of it and got to guessing with the
others whether it was time to applaud
or only rest, it got to be quite q
game."-Washington Star.
III tell you how you can find out"
said her big brother. Next Tuesday
is his birthday; make him present of
Il box of cigars like you gave me Christ
mas But how will that prove his
love?" asked the innocent maid. IF
he smokes them himself he loves you;
If he gives them away he Doesn't
Chicago News.
Did you say this was a comic opera
warp asked the Filipino soldier who
came into camp with n flag Of truce.
That remark has been made" well,
our general says he's willing 10 take
you at your word. He wants to know
if you can fix the show up so there will
be fewer marches and more dialogue"
Washington Star.
Dear mew she said, 81 wonder what
has become of that household journal?"
He didn't say word. "There was an
other recipe in it that l wanted to
try" He smiled, for now he was as
sured tina: he had done wisely, when
ne burned it. Even good-natured
man may grow weary of having ex-
periments tried upon him.-Chicago
Post.
Now, boys" said the teacher to the
Juvenile class In history, "whO can tell
me what Gen. Washington Said to his
lieutenant while crossing the Delaware
amid the floating icer II can" replied
youngster at the foot of the class.
well. Tommy, what did he say?"
queried the teacher. HE said, How'd
YOU like to be the Ice manY" replied
The incorrigible Tommy. = Trained
Motherhood.
Il don't see why people gr0wl so
about the crowds of shoppers" she
said 81 have had no trouble at ALL"
How do you manage it?' they asked.
Il take my two boys with me-" And
can they really help you?" Can they
really help mel" she exclaimed; well.
| should say so. One of them played
right tackle on his college football
team and the other is champion catch
as-catch-can wrestler of his class
Chicago Post.
Yes, George, you very distinctly
said In your sleep, rs 1t my anteY
Now, what did you mean by that?p
Mean! Why, that's simple. was
dreaming | was boy again, waiting
for Christmas. And when another boy
asked me If | didn't know who Santa
Claus was, said, questionlngly, is 1t
my auntieT The dear old lady brought
me up, you know" "Oh, you darling,
big-hearted boy."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Il suppose" said the woman who
had sampled every kind of candy she
could reach by thrusting her arm over
the protective railing, and finally had
bargained for five cents worth Of but
terscotch, "all this Is adulterated. You
couldn't sell 1t so cheap If it wasn't"
"Yes, ma'am," returned the salesman,
solemnly, Its all adulterated That
butterscotch you're getting, for In
stance, has mighty little buttpr and
not bit Of Scotch."-Chicago Tribune.
She had asked the advice of the FAM
lily physician. "Old Mr.. Kreesus has a
weak heart, hasn't he?" she inquired.
YES" replied the doctor. "a very weak
heart. He is likely to drop off after the