The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1900-08-15
GUYS Political and Spiritual
Manifesto.

Mr. Editor: We've been expert.
enoiOg strong symptoms of the pre-
vsiliDg epidemic. eetch for some time
past. aud it has now progressed into
Q we'll developed case and we can
hold iu no longer and are impelled
to announce ourself as q candidate
We solemuly engage to abide by the
democratic primary Especially az we
cant do another burned thing any
way and I'll give bond secured by
mortgage of our assets (including
bsoksets) for the faithful performance
thereof. We think the executive
board should let ne in for half price
ct this date. which we'll pay down
in hard. cold. spot cash, (soon's we
sell some ootton.) Not being 80 for.
tunate a. Walt Whitman we're not
able to appear before those sturdy,
brave. intelligent, bightoned, cultur-
ed and refined sons of toil-and guns,
the one hat. wool. gsllus sovereignty
We did procure a drseted wheel, q Ia
Walt, and have been broadcastiug
ourself over ten acre patch in our
efforts to "gi. there" until there's
scarcely ten inch patch of our whole
skin left. Adams fell was nothin'
to those we've bad, but then be want
running for Office. Under these ad
verse circumstances we've resolved
10 Issue an address to our below ed
constituents and fellow sovereigns
and will beg them to closely and
critically oomps-, our u,terances,
sentiments end promises with those
OF our competitors for Office aud vote
for us accordingly.
Fellow citizens We've set 10
nights giving the serious and pray
erful consideration of our prodigious
" vacuous head to the ponderously
momentous issues which are convui
siDg our continent from Nsdir to
Zenith. and from the Wateree Swamp
to the Crick Some of these aues
tions Of mighty import have extended
their tentacles over the whole State
aud your only protection is to extend
your own prehensile organs, the
almighty ballot. and grasp them to the
best OF your ability, aud We promise,
1t elected to Office. to grasp any and
everything within our reach, 90 belp
me. (AppIause)
We believe in oil men being born
free and equal. or % free and equal
% they oan- also rich. In regard to
wagon tires we're . unit and slways
have been end expect to die 90, IN
less you prefer us to become some
other numerical. If elected we'll
enact law to keep all tires off the
sidewalks of roads for the benefit
OF the poor, while the vehicles
and rubber tires o: the rich shall
be allowed full privilege of same.
also present q bill aud pass q nact
requiring oil tires to be ct least az
wide as every man can conveniently
afford We believe in good roads
and not too long nor sandy nor billy.
slso low taxes and exemption of oil
qualified registered voters from road
work aud oil other Objectionable de |
msnds upon them-uutil after the |
primary. We believe in reinforcing |
Tho chain gang from oil voters op. |
posed to us and now ct largo and |
more qualified to handle spsde thsu
} ballot
We fully recognize the value aud |
Importance of the sheep and egg 10.
austry and the mad dog scare and |
will do oil in our power to promote
The same consistent with your ioslien
able right to raise and keep az many |
string bands Of ysller mongrel cur
tail cur dogs as every man may zee
fit aud can't feed These are our
honest campaign sentiments because
we're fully alive to the fact that If We |
tread on your cur-tsil dog you'll cur.
tail Our vote
The subject Of education is q very
serious and q very nice Que Educa
ton commenced in the Garden of
Eden with two scholars and they
skinned mighty close to learning too
much iu one lesson, and in proof of
tho mighty progress Of education
we'd remark that had Adam and Eve
been up to date scholars they'd have
threshed down the tree of life, clean
ed up the garden aud every fruit aud
bad enough to picnic on outside Til
they could have raised another crop
However, educstiou progressed very
rapidly, as evidenced 10 the case of
Jacob who commenced bis mundane
career by grabbing his elder twin
brother Esau's heel before he himself
bad gotten clean into the world, then
grabbed his birth right and held
sinch on him ever thereafter. also
euchered his dad in law as beautifully