The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1900-06-02
NEWSPAPER wA1Fs.

In the Cafe-Carte-I tell you. that
! water is q gentleman from head TO
foot. D'Hote-You mean from tip to
tip,-Chicago News.
Sometimes" said Uncle Eben.
when you does man favor he never
| fohgits II. He jes' laughs at you de
res o his life fob beIn' so ensy.'-
Washington Star.
Powerful.-"What slender little
| thing she Is. Yes. but you'd be sur
! prised II you were to see some OF the
big men she has thrown over."-Phila-
detphia Bulletin.
Grew on Him.-"Knave." said the au-
tocrat, chow earnest thou to be fool?'
Sire" responded the Jester, II began
| life among the wise men. "-Philadelphia
North American.
do you think there will be much in
terest In this political enterprises" In
terest!" repeated Senator Sorghum
"itll be more than interest. It'll be
dividends. '-Washingt Star
His "Jipson has failed IN ail
the newspaper work he has underta-
ken" Are they going to bounce him?"
| "Oh, no. They are going TO make him
| the dramatic critic. Brooklyn Life.
Where Ignorance Isn't Bllss-Law-
4 yar-Were you ever called to serve on
| jury before? Juror-No, sir. This is
the first time my intelligence has ever
been observation-disclosures News.
A Chicago Explanation. = Ella - /
hope my minister won't see me out rid
Ing in this automobile this sunday
morning. Stella-Why do you call him
your minister? Do you attend MS
oN,,,,,1, . U1IIe-Nn, hut he ALWAYS mar
ries me.-JudGe.
The eshments.-Mamma Ito
Bobby, just returned from an after
noon party)-What kind Of refresh
ments did you have. dear? Bobby-Li-
! quld. Mamma-LIquid? Bobby-Yes;
US fellers all skipped out and went
swimming
In the Ateller.-"There seems to be Il
decided difference between the pictures
Pensketoh makes now and those he
made before he was married. His wo-
men are no longer beautiful Well,
you see, he married his model, and nat
urally has given up the habit Of ideallz-
ing her."-ChIcago imes-Heraid.
The Virtuous Clerk.-"slgn your
name here" said the chief consplrator,
''nnd the money will be paid you at
once" Sooner than let my good right
hand sign that iniquitous document,
said the virtuous government clerk, u
would cut 1t on! But, fortunately, /
am laft-hauded." And he signed it,
Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
wedding Guest--Now that the cere-
nlony's over I'd like to ask you If you
/ know that your son-in-law is deeply in
debt? Mr. Stuckson Bonds-Heavens!
| No! Its face, I'm sure he simply
married your daughter so as to be able
to pay his dcbts.' why didn't you
tell me Of this bafore?" "I'm one OF his
creditors. "-Philadelphia Record.
The Spy system.--Tha municipal
campaign being now fairly open. they
! naturally spoke Of local politics. THE
/ light." observed the Lay Figure,
"saems 10 concern the employment Of
an officer in citizens clcthes to detect
violations of the liGuor law" Sort OF
a Spion Kop affair rs 1t were!" eE-
claimed the Unconscious fmbeCtte, With
glee.-Detroit Journal.
CONFERENCE.-The had our m!ssivings
what evidence have you we ASKED,
In all candoT, chat these savages are
sincere In their profession Of iasth?'
"They have already sent up one over
ture for a revision of the creed and
have another In preparation" replied
the missionary, with pnrdanable ar
OF triumph. of course, our doubts were
ut once silcnCcds-DetrOiL Journal.