Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1900-11-03

II know sorne-h hing I won't tell. sang
;hc widow h-oarder's little girl, as Little
girls nave done ever since language was
Never mind. child said the Savage
Bachelor, You'll get over that habit
when you se; older. indianapolis Press.
She-When. I go to get an ice cream So
da I generally get three.
He-Nhy is shat?
Shovel, l first take The flavor | or
dcr,d last. and then go back and take
the ones changed my mind abou;--In-
dianapolIs Journal
Mrs. Goode-You are the sixth man who
has asked me for something 10 eat today.
The Tramp tsadlyl-I s'pose %. II de
some OF usll have to go TO work.-Brook
lyn Life
That candidate backed OH, and
wouldn't accept his notification
What allied him."
Tie said he wouldn, imperil his coun-
;ry'S destiny by becoming presideR; on
the thirteenth ticket in the field. In
ulanapolis Journal
what have YOU been eating" asked
The doctor as ne tried TO diagnose his pa
tents complaint.
Nothing bu. 4 little honey. doctor"
"Ah. knew you had been INDUCING in
sweets.
Then its case Of honey"
NO its a case of hives. Exchange.
Mis-, Joh1son-Oh. yes. he Eel in love wifi
me. at sight l; was at the masquerade
bail yo' know.
Miss Jacks0n-t-m. Now / undahstand
How was yo' disguised Judge.
philadelphia census totaI would have
been 4 great deal bigger but for one
hing.
when the census man went around he
WAS 50 good ndtursd that Nc hated To
Mako people up 70 be counted. '-Clcve-
land Plain Dealer.
Anonymous-"B eIinds. If my salary
n raised ~D1tlI l.. married
row.
IAN rish. Augustus: III write your
employer an anonymous. letter and tel!
him We both think hc is q mean old
thing. Indiana polls Journal.
Reared HIMSELF suppose YOU had 4
careful rearing. Mr.. Courtney
NO; ! didn't have any rearing az All.
my parents exhausted all their discipline
Bill."-Dctrolt Free Press.
"Oh. no; 4 true poe; writes poetry BE-
cause he can't help it,
"A true poet writes poetry because no.
body can stop him. Chicago Record.
Look at Dobbe''
VIVA; is he doing
Riding i'll an automobile with a horse
shoe pin on."-Chicago Record.
Have you called On Penelope since she
got hack
Yes; but III have p 90 again"
why"
She rot started fir, in telling her sum
MGR experiences ana ulGn get 4 word
in cigewise about what I'd been doing all
'-ChicaGo Record.
Il presume YOU carry a mcmcnto o..
some kind in that locket OF yours?"
Precisely /; is lock of my husband ;
hair
But your husband is still alive"
Yes; but his hair is all gone. '-Atlan-
Ia Constitution.
Her disbelief lie says he il from
New York. said one youTg woman.
Yes" answered tbs other. II can't BE-
lieve IL Why not" He. talked WITH
me five minutes without saying anything
was fierce or characterizing anybody a.
4 lobster Washington Star.
Simple and Satisfactory. Dick and I
What's the arrangement" Dicks GO
ing TO feed him and take care OF him and
| m going to exercise him. Chicago Re |
cord.
He Knew Sabbath School Teacher |
trying 70 inculcate love of TRUTH |
Now. Willy suppose you were 10 prom
ise your mother that You would come |
right straight home from Sunday school, |
b. doing? Willy Naters-Goin swim |
min, ma lm.-Puck.
!, Musical Instrument Tin Peddler |
who has me- with an accidentl-What |
viii do now Efrey wheel OF my wag-
on is broke. Summer Boaruer tconsoI- |
the tins in The wagon just |
AS II is. and perhaps you can sell il to I
one OF the boarding house keepers for q !
York Weekly.
Father twho has helped his son with his |
home workl-What did the teacher say |
when you showed him the sums? Johnny \
He said | was getting more stupid every /
Evening Times.