West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1900-03-15
cooNsKIN's REPLY.
Your JANr.


My Dearest and Sweetest 81 was won
derfully tickled to receive your long and
illuminated and illuminating letter. But
really, ! can't wait till ground hog day. |
might have to be out there. and not have
chance TO write.
am not in the habit of complimen,ing
people. don't think j, good idea, be.
cause il may make them vain and silly. So
don't never do il no iime-only semi
occasionally. But shall have to turn out
of my usual custom to compliment you on
the artistic taste and ability you display in
the floral decorations of the letter and en-.
velope. flower catalogue is simply no.
where in comparison with il. II you were
not going to keep house for me, would
surely recommend you to be an artist. If
we ever get hard up and the bank account
runs out, you can paint flowers anyway,
while pursue my customary employment Of
resting. But, dearest. if you keep on send
ing your love letters To- me in those cheap,
brown big envelopes that are only intended
TO mail circulars in, / shall have to get
cross. My other girls never treat me that
way. No kind of stationary is too good for
their use
have just finished reading the cutest,
sweetest kind of a letter from Matilda Scare
crow, one of my dearest friends. There
was cut flower in every sheet, and the en-
dearing words we're so plenty that have
them TO burn. Not her letter. though.
I'll keep that until-.) She is as even tenn.
pered as an angel, and she can bake, darn.
make her own clothes, tend garden, and do
everything else about well regulated house.
After | get through with this. am Just 90
ing to write her nice, long letter. am
not saying this to make you jealous
wouldn't do such thing for the world. But
when you speak of those emery fellows,
Tom, Dick and what's his name, it makes
me feel real ugly. Excuse me for using that
coarse word, but no other would fit the case.
You needn't make fun Of ne for misspell-
ing roomatiz 1t was the fault of my
cramped fingers. As for the dictionary, I
don't need it. | have it all committed to
memory.
Laying on Of hands is all right for kids,
but object to having hands laid on me and
then have to pay for it all. The rheumatic
will be all right, when this cold snap is over:
that IS, If our courtship doesn't last too long.
It's fact there's whole lot Of cranky,
ill-natured old bachelors at my boarding
place-aii but me. I'm all right, myself.
All rules have exceptions. you know, and I
am bright aud shining one--when I'm
newly washed up and there is something
particularly good TO ca; on the table. But
''there's no place ike hum," you know, and
am willing some gyrnI should relieve my
landlady.
met DIR. Pratt since read your letter,
but he wi1ked 50 wickedly out Of his off eye
that did not stop to get him to tell me a
yarn.
think it real mean in you to intimate I
am V. p. Of the Nation. had a good no.
ton to say some downright ugly things. II
IS my devotion to the interests Of science
that causes me to keep so many pets. Now
II you make fun of my snakes and purps,
I'lI not only be doggoned but I'll be dog.
cared If III stand 1t or walk il or run il. I
quoted you the old saw, 'I.ove me, love
my dog" Now I'll quote another. "I.ove
me, love my snake" Did forget to tell
you about one other pet9 Il is my alligator.
Tie follows me like dog. and he can snap
bfoomsiick as you would stick Of maoa.
roni. Tha, is, II you visit the kitchen often
enough to tell macaroni froa, potato peel.
ings. Ills name is democrat.
Il was another unfceling thing in you to
intimate that my biggest dog was the same
as that long cared jack rabbit, and that 7
had IL for company. But I'll remember you
for that, or my name is not Jerry Coonskin.
] won't say anything nov, because you
would say wasn'i gallant u was real
wicked in you to shield yourself behind
your sex.
When you turn me out to grass, J suppose
I can have my choice Of grass. SO I'll take
aspafa- grass. Ike vegetables anyway.
Ny prospects for the public secre,aryship
are 50 good now ihst am not going 10 ,ol.
crate any democracy in mine, even II have
70 60 back on the daisy. only mad4 4
lieye was on the fsnse politically 80 Is 70
get You safely ensnared. And As ny via.
n'og rays have accomplished lh,t 50 we'll, +
shah noe stand ap for the G. o. r., IN -,
] you show signs % going back 90 me. h