davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
The Dead Walked.

In a Liverpool theatre some time
ago a melodrama was performed that
had a peculiar grim ending, for no
less than six of the characters at the
close of the fourth act lay dead upon
the stage. Then it was the curtain S
turn. 1t ought to have come down,
but it stuck badly. The dead be-
came restless. They peeped at each
other, wondering if they would ever
be released from their awkward posi-
tons. Then the audience began to
litter. 1t Uttered more. Then it
laughed outright.
The situation had become intoler-
able, when one of the dead arose,
solemnly faced the audience and rails
ing his hand beseechingly, said,
Friends, respect the dead p
Then he went back and lay with
his friends, and the laughter broke
out afresh. There was nothing for it
but that the dead" should solemnly
walk off one after the other.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
Pneumonia Prevented.

Among the tens of thousands who
used Chamberlain's Cough Remedy
for colds and la grippe during the past
few years, to our knowledge, not a
single case has resulted in pneumonia.
Thos. Whitfield & Co., 240 Wabash
avenue, Chicago, one Of the most prom
inent retail druggists in that city, in
speaking of this says: eve recon-
mend Chamberlain's Cough Remedy
for la grippe in any case, as it not
only gives prompt and complete re-
covery, but also counteracts any tend
ency of la grippe to result in pneu-
monia." For sale by Remnants Phar-
macy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
Polite 10 a Customer.

Apropos of the ready comprehension
and native wit attributed to the sons
of Erin, Patrick compliance with the
customers wish stands out in bold ap-
position, says the Chicago Post. Pat
rick was clerk in suburban grocery
store. 1t was busy season and the
grocer was waiting upon two or three
customers at the same time. He was
in hurry, and everything had to be
where he could get it without much
trouble or he would be delayed and
probably lose money, go when he found
that the pound weight was gone he
was bothered.
Patrick" he called out, where g
the pound weight"
"The pound weight, is it?" said
Patrick, complacently, Sure, an it's
Misther Jones has the pound weight. "
"Mr. Jones has it? What do you
mean by saying that Mr.. Jones has
the pound weight? l thought the
pound weight stayed in the store.
How did Mr.. Jones get it p"
can shure, didn't yez tell me to be
perlite to the regular customers ?"
"Of course"
"W.ll, thin, Misther Jones comes
into the store for pound Of tay. An {,
says he, whin asked him what quail
ity of tay he wud have: WHATEVER
yez give me, says he, give me the
weight. So l put the pound weight
in the package with the tay, perlite
like, an it's himself that's gone with
-
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13

Some time ago an old lady, as she
walked into the Office of a Probate
Judge in a certain Wisconsin county,
said to the Judge, care you the Judge
Of reprObates?"
81 am the Judge of probate, " was
the reply.
"Well, that's it, I expect" quoth
the old lady. You see my husband
died detested and left me several lit
tie infdels, and I want to be appoint
their executioner :"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
A Terrible Tragedy.

Several weeks ago Rev. John 81.
Wohl, pastor of the Presbyterian
church at Williamson, W. Va, Illus
trated a sermon with cartoon show
ing a dance given by the young people
of the town. From the ballroom were
pictured the various roads leading
downward. Nothing has ever stirred
up more comment in society circles.
Now the minister lies corpse and in
the hands of the law is his slayer, S.
Davis Stokes, member of an old Vir-
ginia family, lately candidate for
the State Senate in the district, referee
in bankruptcy, an Elk, Shriner and
a brilliant lawyer.
Until this unfortunate csricature
the men were the best of friends, each
recognized as leader in his field.
Shortly after the sermon Stokes told
Wohl that were it not for his min
isterial garb he would not hesitate
to thrash him. This provoked the
reply that Stokes need not be deferred
by that circumstance. Acquaintance
supposed the slight quarrel would
amount to nothing more, but Wednes-
day Stokes, who was standing in front
of the house occupied by the minister
talking to an acquaintance, was or
dered to leave the street by Mr.. Wohl.
An alteration ensued, and in less
time than it takes to tell it the men
were engaged in wordY quarrel,
Wohl standing on his porch, Stokes
upon the sidewalk.
So fast did the quarrel proceed that
it was almost impossible to distinguish
what was said, until the sharp "You
are liar !" fell from the lips of the
minister, who now rushed upon Stokes,
at the same time, it is said, drawing
from his hip pocket revolver and lev
cling it upon the lawyer. Both men
were now in the street, Stokes slowly
backing from hi, approaching assail-
ant.
The clear click of the pistol broke
the stiffness, and Stokes reeled and
fell to the sidewalk, drawing as he did
so his revolver and covering Wohl
with unsteady hands. The men were
not more than ten feet apart. Again
the preacher fired, and at the same in
slant was heard the report Of Stokes
pistol. The approaching crowd, which
now filled and surged through the
narrow streets, ,a W, when the cloud Of
smoke lifted, two men lying in their
own blood-one the minister dead
shot through the forehead, the other
the lawyer, pierced through the side
and seriously wounded.
Stokes was taken charge Of by his
friends, who at once surrendered him
to the officers. Mr.. Wohl had been
married less than year and but two
weeks ago became father. The fear
full tragedy has cast a gloom over the
entire county.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
Grand Celebration.
CENTENNIAL OF THE ESTABLISHMENT OF
THE SEAT OF GOVERNMENT. WASHING
TON, d. C. WEDNESDAY, DEC. y.
ONE FARE ROUND TRIP. BAL
TIMORE & OHIO RAIL
ROAD.

For this occasion the Baltimore e
Ohio Railroad will sell tickets from all
points on its lines east Of the Ohio river
at one fare for the rOnnd trip. good CO.
ing on all trains of Tuesday, December
llth also, for morning trains of We'd
nesday, December 18th, from all points
between Philadelphia, Cumberland,
Strasburg Junction, HagerStown and
Frederick, inclusive. All tickets valid
for return until December l4th, 1900,
inclusive.
For tickets and full information, call
on agents Baltimore Il Ohio Railroad.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
The Waldorf Kitchen.

In the greatest kitchen on earth the
finest dinners are cooked. Of course
that's the Waldorf-Astoria's splendid
great kitchen, deep down in the eel
lar.
1t occupies more space, has more
modern appliances, employs more chefs
and helpers and turns out more cooked
things day than any other kitchen
on the face of the globe. Really, 1t
is more like factory than kitchen.
In the first place, there are IA chefs
not mere scullions, but graduated
Chefs iplome, " as the French say.
There are IL more just to make sauces
and 10 to do nothing but fry things.
1t takes % men to make the soups and
cook the vegetables and 20 more for
the ice-creams and pastry. All told
there l8l men down in that big kitch-
en-, of whom do nothing but cook
meals for the other ia.
This big kitchen where they work
covers 10000 square feet Of space.
In it are two immense ranges, each
containing IS separate fires. Five
men constantly tend them, doing moth
ing else. These ranges take up 1000
square feet. Then there are 6 big
game broilers, big steel oven with
compartments, 8 bake ovens and a
pastry oven, 6 giant copper caldrons
for the vegetables, 6 steel broilers for
meats, Is coffee urns and dozens Of
tribes, heaters and chopping blocks.
Each department is separate in this
big kitchen. One Gordon bleu chef
watches over all. Instead Of stand
ing near red-hot stove he sits at a
desk and never goes near an oven or
a boiler. The roast cooks never both
er with pastry the ice-cream men
never look at vegetable. The soup
men would turn up their noses at a
salad-mixer, and the sauce-makers
grow stern at the thought Of opening
oysters.
This great kitchen can serve 800
persons for each meal and never get
fustered. This is the high-water
mark. Yet it could turn out much
more without getting upset. 1t can
cook soup for 5000, coffee for 5000,
roasts for 1000, salad for 200, 600
loaves of bread, 275 gallons Of ice
cream, 2,l0O dozen oysters, game for
5000 and other things for a brigade
1t isut anything to cook for a bri-
gade in the feld-the 5000 soldiers
get pork and beans and coffee and
bread, if they are lucky. But think
Of cooking for a brigade Of epicure. !
Each cooked dish passes through
four hands before it is served. The
scullion' do the preliminary work.
Then it passes to the table men, who
prepare it for the fire. Tie cooks
do the rest. Then the waters hustle
it upstairs to the diner.
Attached to this great kitchen is a
butcher-shop and a great grocery
store. Here everything is properly
kept, and when an article is needed
for the table it is drawn from the
store just a. anyone gets table supplies
at his bridesmaids. But this scheme
saves time and money. 1t takes an
order to get things, though. And the
average grocery store or butcher shop
isn't half so we'll stocked as those
that are adjuncts to the Waldorf-As-
toria.-New York World.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
Worlds Champion.

Il tried many remedies to cure piles, =
writes W. r. Smith, of Latham, H.,
"but found no relief till l used Buck
lens Arnica Salve. | have not been
troubled with piles since" It's the
only champion pile cure on earth and
the best salve in the world. 25c per box,
guaranteed by any druggist.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13

Nos. I. 3 and 9 run daily between Harris
burg and HageTstOwn.
Daily.
Daily except Sunday.
/. 90 Sundays Will leave PhiindsiphiA a.
49, p. m. A..
Pullman palace sleeping cars between . Nss
York and Knoxville, Tenn. on Trains w"
and 10 east. -,.
Through coaches TO and from lhllhd'pnN
on trains and 1 east and and west.
JF. BOYD, Superintendent
II. A. RIDDLE. GenI Pa Agent
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13

If you would have an appetite like
a bear and relish for your meals
take Chamberlain Stomach and Liv-
er Tablets. They correct disorders of
the stomach and regulate the liver
and bowels. Price % cents. Sam
plies free, at Remnants Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13

The Postofice Department is put
ting into practice the new rule which
bars from second-class postage privi-
leges newspapers and periodicals whose
list of legitimate subscribers does not
amount to so per cent Of the entire
iSSue
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
A Keen Clear Brain.

Your best feelings, your social posi-
tion or business success depend largely
on the perfect action of your Stomach
and Liver. DR.. Kings New Life Pills
give increased strength, keen, clear
brain, high ambition. a % cent box
will make you feel like a new being.
Sold by any druggist.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13

Ascum-So you have baby, eh? l
suppose you find that it brightens up
the house wonderfully.
Newpop-Well, l should say. We
have had this kid only three weeks
and during that time we've had the
gas burning at all hours of the night.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
Western Maryland Railroad.


Hap. X. X. at shippeDsburg. honol a
Western and Is. & o. kallrohds Al hAta,s
town, r. X. X. at Frederick Junction sbs
p. v. dB., ". q. and Is. A y. kAilroadsNOp
ion station. Baltimore. Nd.
MAIN LINE AND CONNECTIONS
Schedule In effect November %, wv
LEAVE HAGERsTOwE.
g.yA. NJ. For Wayncsboro and Chamo+f'
burg. ,,-,,,-.o,.
~ A. 81. Through passenger iof bAIl,.ly ~,
arriving Al lUE n. M. also ."
Gettysburg and Hanover.
sIgA.M. For ClearspriBg. Cherry kun 'Ls
WilliamspOrt. ..u.,,,x
II O5 81. Accom- OdatlOD Tor HhlpPtbs'-ss
l2.Us 4. NJ. For WilliamspOrt. Cieafsp'Hs
Cherry Run. .,tu
2.O7 T.. NJ. Mail for Baltimore, sf1'lbs 80.
p. M: also for Hanover Ah'
iO8 r. ". Fast Mail, arriving BsItiD'''
7.DO r. NJ. For ShippensbuTg. ,,,.,,v Rup
s.O5 +. N For Williamsport and 'bs"'
ARRIVE AT HAGEIsTOwE.
sGA.M. From Willismspor and CD'"
J.SOA. N. PROM Baltimore, Pat Mall
s.O2 A. NJ. From Shippsnsbufg'
I2.05 +. NJ. from Baltimore.
Il. rs A. NJ. From Cherry Rnp.
aus p. NJ. From sbIppeDsburg'
$40 +. N. From bippeDsburg' -. tain.
800 r. ". From Baltimore-ihf'usD .,
Altenwald Cut-OH-Leaye HagsTsV 10
Cham bersburg 5.57 A. VI. and ~, =, - A.
leave Cbambersburg for hagsts'"N
VI. and Z 10 r. ". -,
B.H. 3gIsyoLD. Gen. Pass. Asss''
IA. HOOD. Pres. and Gen l. A@N-
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13

The Baltimore and Ohio Railroad
is changing the color of its cars. with
the exception of the Royal Blue trains.
The new color is a shade of olive sim
liar to the Pullmans.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13

and checrfulneSS soon
disappear when the kid
neys are out OF order
or diseased.
Kidney trouble has
become so prevalent
that il is not uncommon
for a child to be born
afflicted with weak kid
neys. II the child urin-
atcS too often, IL the
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
Do Your Feet Ache and Burn d?

Shake into your shoes Aliens Foot
Ease. powder for the feet. 1t cools the
feet and makes tight or new shoes feel
easy. Cures Corns, Bunions, Swollen,
Smarting Hot, Callous, Sore and Sweat
ing Feet. Aliens FootEase relieves all
pain and gives rest and comfort We
have over 30. 600 testimonials. 1t cures
while you walk. Try it TODAY. All
druggists and shoe stores sell 1t, 25c.
Sample sent FREE. Address, Allen 5.
Olmsted, lie Roy, y. y.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13

Il suppose you will enjoy your
Thanksgiving dinner
I'll enjoy several hundred Of EN-,
answered the complacent citizen.
Not all at once ?"
Eyes. l run poultry farm.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
Women as Well as Men
Are Made Miserable by
Kidney Trouble.

Kidney trouble preys upon the mind, dis
courages and lessons ambition: beauty, vigor
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
A. S. cambridge 4 Co.

We wish to call your attfnt ,,l C y
following Popular and 5easonaC.s -
which we now have on exhibition
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13

Trains Nos. s ODD no Will run daily and
No. 2 thirty minutes late ON sundays Both
trains will stop at intermediate stations on
Sundays.
Daily.
Daily except sunday.
Leave sol No.S sos sol Soy
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13

urine scalds the flesh or if, when the child
reaches an age when it should be able to
control the passage. it is yet afflicted with
bed-wetting, depend upon 1t. the cause of
the difficulty is kidney trouble, and the first
step should be towards the treatment of
these important organs. This unpleasant
trouble IS due to diseased condition of the
kidneys and bladder and not to a habit as
most people suppose.
Women as we'll as men are made mis-
cradle with kidney and bladder trouble,
and both need the same great remedy.
The mild and the immediate effect of
Swamp-Root is soon realized. 1t is sold
e eyn. druggists sss o.. in d t51Iyr <,-ESs
sizes. You may have {. . u -
sample bottle by mail =ssss s ELI e
free, also pamphlet tell Home of s~aup Root
ing all about it. including many CT the
thousands OF testimonial letters received
from sufferers cured. In writing Dr.. Kilmer
& Co.. Binghamton. N. Y. be sure and
mention this paper.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
J. FLEMING, Agent.
The Jefferson County Mutual
FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY.
ESTARIISHED 1873

OFFERS to the people ofJeffersoniCounty
~ Insurance in a safe company at the actual
cost OF Insurance, which is much cheaper
than the rates usually charged and keeps the
money at home. Good risks from response
BILE parties are invited.
Executive Committee meetsevery Friday.
DIRECToRs-Jos.T rapnell, Henry b. Daven-
port Jas Garland Hurst, John w. Rider, w.
n. T. Lewis, K. Preston Chew, VIM. l.. VIII
son, Eugene Baker. S. w. Washington, II. L
Snyder ,Chas. T. Wilson, Jno. h. little, Jacob
g. Melvin. Z. G. w. Herr. Isaac 81. Strider.
JOSEPH TRAPNELL. President
Il B. DAVENP0RT...... Treasurer
LOCAL AGENTs-Middleway, j John G. Shir-
ley; Harper s Ferry, Chas. II. Trail; Shep-
herdstown, ]. ). Fleming; Charlestown,
Washington & Alexander.
a-The Secretary will, be found at tn Com
pany'sOfhce, Gibson Building, Courthouse
yard. In Charlestown.
K. A. ALEXANDER, Sec'y.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
MOORE & MOORE,
INSURANCE
AND
Real Estate Agents,
Charles Town, w. Va.

We represent a number of leading
Fire Insurance Companies and can fur
nish insurance at the very lowest rates.
We also represent the Penn Mutual
Life Insurance Company, of Philadel-
phia, one of the oldest, strongest, and
best companies doing business in the
United States. All of the policies are
incontestabe from date of issue, besides
having number of other valuable op-
tions.
We have some Fine Jefferson County
Farms for sale, ranging from 100 to 400
acres.
Respectfully,
MOORE e MOORE.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13

1t is said the Mississippi river and
its tributary streams are now lower
than they have been for nearly half a
century.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1900-12-13
The ShepherdStOwn REGISTER
AND INDEPENDENT

Baltimore & Ohio Railroad,
rhefollowing is the timeo,,-.,
81 shenandoah Junction. In 'sS,.,nusstoppins
EAsr-BoUNp.
NO s-lO;O5 \. NJ. 81. Louis o,,,
, Limited Express. Is,S. New York
NO t-lZ,2i +. NJ. Keyser and pai.,
Sommodation, via Oh more As.
DAILY except SUNDAY ~aln line
No. $50 p. NJ. Express So,
Daily. stops on sigma
NO. li-o.ii P.M Keysersns
Ton nodst'on. Via Wssr,ofe Ae.
A. =. nalIy except SUNDAY. Zion.
20 +o-S.SS 7. N. Washington Yv,-..-
New y Yo SE''a X. VIA Nheel.as s,{{
wEsr-BouNp
No. lS-'.SS A; VI. Baltimore An, O..
cent s AnSSlnmod aiou. Daily U 81;
So.E-ll.l9A. VI. Baltimo-a o.,.
cept 5 s AagHESSsmHmoda''ou. Daily ~.
NO. l-5.21 p. NJ. New YORK s,,
Limited Express. Conrs,... louis
y. & W. south. Daily With
No. 1-S.5b 7. NJ Baltimore an, NJ,
Plttsourg Express. Dary' 'eeias.
No local trains on SUNDAY
Train l. connects az Narffrsbr..
and D for the west Via Wherf.ug a., H,' D No.
ersburg. ana Park.
r. ID. UNDERWOOD. ~ INInc.
General Manager.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1900-09-13
TO BAR KRUeERss FLIGHT.
The King of Portugal, 1t Is Said. WIN Re-
fuse an AsyIana to- the FIeeing Trans
xaaI President.

London, Sept. S.-The news tele-
graphed from Lisbon that a mill
tary expedition 1000 strong is about
to leave the Nagus for Lourenzo Mar
ques has caused much speculation as
to the Portuguese intentions in South
Africa. Many people believe that
there is a secret agreement between
Great Britain and Portugal, which
viii enable the former power to ex-
ercise a long-cherished right of pre-
emption of Delagoa bay.
Others connect the Portuguese re-
Inducements with the intention to
refuse the Boer fugitives an asylum
in Mozambique, and the determine
ton of the Lisbon government to
no longer permit the Dutch forces to
draw supplies from Delagoa bay.
The English government is ex-
tremely anxious that the ex-president
should not slip through its fingers,
and Portugal would certainly be do
ing the British a very good turn if
she denied the old man an asylum
and so compelled him to surrender to
Lord Roberts. 1t is still more impor-
tant that supplies from Mozambique
should be cut off from the various
guerrilla bands, which are quite like
ly to remain in the field even after
the final collapse of Botha's army.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1900-09-13
A vAGRANT FROM BOSTON.
He AstOnished "a BaiIiR by His High
Flown Language in
Court.

Bailiff Kendig is recognized as something
of wit. The first prisoner to be subjected
to the laconic thrusts of the bailiff in the
police court the other day was William
Ross, says the Washington Times. The
charge against him was vagrancy, and as
he was arraigned kendig said, soto voce:
"A rolling stone gathers no moss" He
then added, that is a true saying" Much
to the surprise and chagrin of kendig, Ross
replied without the faintest semblance of a
smile:
why do you not quote that aphorism cor
rectly? As we say it in Boston it is: Amy
petrifed formation endowed with a rotary
motion shows no affinity for the collection
of lichenous PARTICLES
THAT will do from you,' said Kendig,
you are charged as vag. Are you guilty or
not guilty?"
Ross answered not guilty, but the evil
dence was, against him. Policeman Gordon
declared that he found Ross begging at the
Baltimore & Ohio railroad station. Ross
claimed that the only begging he did was
to beg the policeman to release him. Judge
Mills sent Ross to the workhouse for 60 days
In default of bonds in the sum of $40.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1900-09-13
TORTURED BY FILIPINos.
American Soldiers Nose and Ears Cut On
While on Skirmish Duty and Then
He Was Lett to Die.

Kenosha, Wis, Sept. IA letter
has been received from Joseph Ma
kowsky, serving in the Philippines,
which tells of the horrible death of
John Pears, of the Forty-seventh vol
unteer infantry, and of the way the
wounded man was tortured before his
death. Pears was selected July 4 as
a member of special detail of six
men for skirm1sh work. The little
party was ambushed by the rebels.
Pears was wounded and captured.
The leader of the band cut the Amer
lean soldiers nose and ears off with
his sword. He was then left to die.
Two days later three of the men who
were in the band that captured Pears
fell into the Americans hands. Mem
bers of the Forty-seventh tried to
lynch one of them, but officers pre-
vented it
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1900-09-13
PRESENCE OF MIND.
A Little Bit of BLUM That Failed to
Work with a Wide Awake
Man.

If there be one thing that more than an
other admire it is the having ones wits about
one-perhaps because l never had mine. To
be possessed only of Pesprit d'escaliers is
simply an aggravation, writes John Paul in
Harper's Magazine.
AS illustrative of ready-witted men re-
call an incident that 1 have often told but
never published. Let me do that now in
justice to one that is gone.
In company with the late j. R. Osgood I
once of an evening dropped in at Wallack' s
old Fourteenth Street theater. We could
get no seats, as there was standing room
only. At the end of the first act two or
chestra seats were vacant in front, and we
walked down and took them. Barely were
we seated when two gentlemanly-lookin
young men came down the aisle and ad-
dressed me.
BEG pardon, but have you checks for
those seats?'
1 was on the point of rising, when Osgood
replied: mo. Have you?"
They hadn't. 1t was merely bit of su-
preme bluff But how few would have had
the readiness to meet and parry it.