Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1900-07-25
HES MADE A PINT"


ucation and bulwarks Of liberty seem
to como In jest right and hit the school
house on all sides at once. fur one
nm stnndin neutral In this biZness. and
I'd like to hear both sides of the queS-
ton. Mebbe Silas Lapham, who lives
next door to the schOOlhOuse. would
like to make few remarks"
"As fir me-" says Silas as he rises
up, I'm aG'in the idea Of lightnin
rod. That there schoolhousc was built
13 years ago. and durin them 13 years
we've had ~ thunderstorms. II she's
lodged ~. why can't she dodge 200?
Why can't she keep right on dOdgin till
she tumbles down OF old age? Forty
dollars fur n lightnin rod means more
taxation. Thar's sich a thing as an
emporium of education. but thar's also
sich thing as an emporium OF taxa
ton. Jericho Is out OF debt and no
one kickin. but let the hand of eX-
cessive taxation clutch her throat. and
how long would 1t take to strangle the
life out OF her? I'm askin you to
pause and ponder afore 1t Is too late"
"Silas. you've made a pint and a
applause has subsidized. If the school
house has lodged - thundcrstOrms.
thnr's no reason to think she won't
keep up the record. Yes. it's q pint,
and nebbc the ligbtnln rod man would
like to answer it,
81 don't think much OF the pint"
says the man as he gifts UP ag'in.
'Thnr's SO.OOO.OOO people In these Unit
ed States. and because none of 'em fell
down stairs last year 1t don't fOller
that heap CT 'em won't tumble down
this year I've known n man to go on
dodgin 4 mules heels fur 1G years and
then git 'em both in the stomach at
once. Aiebhe your schooihorse will
dodge 4 hundred mere thurierstorms,
and mabbe we will skassly hev sought
our virtuous coucl,cs this night Eeforc
4 thunderEolt as big as q Ear'l will so
drivin through he:. and leave Eutllin
but heap OF splintcrs to mark the
spot where yorr emporium Of cduca-
tion once reared its proud reef 10 TIE
blue vaults of heaven. l said $40 to
the town board today, but in ORDER to
show my interest in the cause OF edu-
hand is ever stretched forth to uphold
the prestige Of a nation Of frcemen
I'll make the price S3S."
"He's made pint. gentlemen-he's
made n pint" says the deacon as he
whacks on the stove and looks around.
"Yes, sir. when he talks about our
schoolhouse rearin It's proud roof to
the blue vaults of heaven he's made q
pint, and I'm more favorable to the
lightnin rod than l was. l think this
crowd would like to hear from EnOs
Williams"
I'm with Silas Lapham." says Enos
as he shets up his jackknife and gifts
his feet under him. 'Tm fur lettin
sartin things dodge or bust. They
wanted to insure the meetin house "a
years ago, but my advice was to let
her dodge. She's thar yit. I've got a
barn so years old, and she's never had
q lightnin rod or been insured-jest
had to dodge or bust all these years
and she's thar yit Seventeen years
ago, when I built my house, l put
bell on the front door. Nobody has
rung that bell to this day. 1t would
be the same If we put a lightnin rod
on the schoOlhOuse-you wouldn't see a
thunderstorm around here fur the next
15 years. I'm all right on the empO-
rum Of education bizness, and l can
see that thar schoolhouse rearin it's
proud roof to the blue vaults Of heaven
as plain as II 1t wasn't o'clock at
night. but ! don't see no call to pay
nt hnr l,,pct
'Thar's a pint thar. Enos-thar's .
pint" says the deacon as he hits .
cracker barl with his cane. "Yes, sir,
thar's q good deal in your theory about
dodgin. When all the cows around
here was hevin the lump jaw, q feller
offered to protect mine ag'in It fur g.
said I'd let her take her chances, and
she come through all right. obsarve
Moses Forbush among the audience.
the schoOlhOuse. mebbe he's got SUM-
thin to say"
'I amt ag'in lightnin rods" says
Moses In his slow way-'T'm not ag'in
'em fur what they are. It pears to
me. however, that we'd better begin at
the bottom instead Of the roof Thar's
about 20 hogs nestin under the school
house. and thar's about 20 holes in the
noor. sorter like the idea Of a light
min rod, and I sorter like the idea Of a
new floor and drivin the hogs out. One
idea sorter balances the t'other, and /
don't want to cast my vote either way"
You hevn't made a pint" says the
deacon, but nobody expected you to-
n <rI
an emporium Of education, bein you
got the job Of buildin the fence and
hev seven children goin to school"
Eyes. l think I do" replies Moses.
"Pve allus felt that 1t was my duty