The suburban citizen., 1900-08-25
THE KIcKERS.

Now a word or two about the kickers.
One Of the Washington dailes on Mon
day of this week published an article
occupying more than two columns of
space with a flash heading:
Scores of Complaints" "An I'M
preston that Washington is a Com
munity of Kickers."
In the body of the article it was
shown how it is that "the people Of
Washington belong to a community of
kickers." And here are some Of their
kicks:
They kick about muzzling their dogs
They kick about paying the dog tax
They kick about tagging their dogs
They kick about the smoke nuisance.
They kick if the mill is idle and no
smoke pours forth from its chimney.
They kick if cock crows
They kick if a dog barks.
They kick when hen jubilates over
the egg she has laid.
They kick about the noise of the
huckster.
They kick if the huckster fails to
come.
They kick about the noise made by
the garbage man.
They kick if he misses his daily visit
and then kick when he comes
They kick about the ash man
They kick about the weather.
They kick for rain, and then when it
does rain they kick because it rained
too hard for some and not hard enough
to suit others.
They kick if the Government fails to
reimburse them for any little damage
done by Il storm.
They kick about paying their taxes.
They kick if neighbor has cabbage
for dinner.
They kick about smells from a neigh
boris cellar.
They kick about weeds that are al
lowed to grow on vacant lots.
They kick for the removal of snow
from the sidewalks and then kick
when they are forced to remove the
snow from their own sidewalk.
They kick. about every smell that
arises in every section of the city.
They kick because dogs are not i'm
pounded and then kick about how cruel
it is to impound them.
They kick about the neighbOr's par
rot.
They kick about fast driving.
They kick about gatemen at railroad
crossings.
They kick about everything pertain
ing to steam railroads. In fact, Ar,
ticle / Of General Orders, issued for the
guidance of all loyal members of the
Amalgamated Association of Kickers
makes it compulsory on members to
kick about the steam railways during
each one Of the three hundred and
slxty-fiye days In every year.
They kick about oyercrowded street
cars.
They kick if they don't get a trans
fer at every street and alley crossing.
They kick because they can't kick
when there is nothing else to kick
about.
And the strange thing about it is
that the daily papers take up the cry
in behalf of this great body Of lxickers
and in the interest Of certain rowdies,
and have the audacity to ask Governor
Smith, of Maryland, to interfere and
declare the Columbia Pleasure Park a
nuisance. They have also had the
brazen-faced effrontery to ask Judge
Merrick to assist in closing the place
up. Things have reached a pretty pass
If the Maryland authorities consent to
turn themselves into a lot Of jumping
jacks simply to please the sensational
dailies of Washington and a lot of
kickers and rowdies who can't behave
themselves any place except in jail
Messrs. Gregory & Schultz are in no
ways interested in the building or
grounds where 1t was intended to have
prize fights The ring adjoius their
place, but is outside the fence and on
another mans property entirely
Mr. Gregory is very much Interested
in the Chesapeake Beach Railway. He
gave them between three and four acres
Of ground without receiving or asking
a cent in return, but the Pleasure Park
is in no way connected with the Chesl-
peach Beach Railroad. Messrs. Greg
Ory & Schultz have recently added sew
eral thousand dollars TO the taxable
valuation of property in the county,