davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe., 1900-05-07
BISHOPS FUNNY STORIES.
"Reminiscences of Ciergymen and
PaPislioners.

London Morning Post.
The late bishop of Wakefield was
remarkable man in many ways, distin-
guished alike for deep, earnest piety. un-
falling cheerfu1ness and strong sense
of humor, and possessing to a marked de-
gree the rare gift of gaining the love and
esteem of his flock. He loved to hear d
good story, and throughout his life made
1t practice TO enter the most amusing
incidents and anecdotes of his experience
in notebook.1The bulk of the anecdotes
relate to persons connected with the
church, whether bishops. Wears, curates
or humble vergers,I but they are none the
less amusing onethat account. Many OF
them center around Wilmington, the
Shropshire parishof which the bishop was
rector from 1851 tol1S79, and Of his parish
toner's he has several quaint stories. For
instance: 81
1.-THE following words are given yer
batim as spoken by an old woman in the
parish on theR occasion of my first visit
soon after l became rector: The old man
and me never go to bed, sir, without sing
ing the evening hymn. Not that I've got
any voice left, for l haven't; and, as for
him, he's like a bee in a bottle; and then
he don't know one tune from another, and
he can't remember the words. neither; SO
when he leaves out a word puts 1t IN,
and when L can't sing dances, and so
we get through 1t somehow.
The Saint Paul globe., 1900-05-07
BRANCH OFFICES.
WEATHER FOR TODAY.

NinneSota-Fair in northern portion;
showers in southern portion Monday;
warmer in southeast portion; Tuesday
fair; cooler in western portion; winds
mostly fresh southerly.
WiaCousiu-Fair and warmer in north
ern, probably showers in southern por-
tiou Monday; Tuesday fair; fresh east 10
south winds.
Iowa - Showers and thunder storms
Monday; Tuesday fair; easterly winds,
becoming variable
North Dakota-Fair Monday; Tuesday
fair; cooler; south to west winds
South Dakor3-ShoWers and thunder
storms Monday; warmer in western por7
tion; Tuesday fair variable winds, be-
coming westerly
ST. PAUL.
Yesterdays observations, taken by the
United States weather bureau, st. Paul,
I. 4. Lyons observer for the twenty
four hours ended at I O'Clock last night.
-Barometer corrected for temperature
and elevation.
Highest temperature observation-disclosures. 73
Lowest temperature NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. IS
Average temperature NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. 90
DdilY range ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. 70
barometer ....-... ~. 81
Humidity o.. ........,................. AZ
I precipitation .....-----.... .-..-.....-... U
Z p. IA, temperature NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. Il
Z p. m, wind. southeast; weather partly
cloudy.
RIVER BULLETIN.
Danger Gauge Change in
station Line Reading. p Hours
st. Paul --........l4 81 OIL
The Saint Paul globe., 1900-05-07

Yorkshire clergyman, We are told
had to pay dear for his good nature in
taking an incumbaflts S place at short no.
tice and preaching a. borrowed sermons,
"A. shy, nervous clergyman near Brad-
ford was about to help friend by read
ing the prayers when message came to
say that a neighboring incumbent was
taken i'll. and to ask for help. the rec
tor could not do so, so the friend had to
be sent, but. having no sermon with him,
he borrowed one from the rector, who
wrote a clear, good hand. He selected
one we'll written, of which the subject
was The Value of Time and meant to
read it over on the way, but eventually
did not do so, as he sat beside a servant
who drove him over. So it happened thai
he had to read it for the first time in the
pulpit He got on very well til he CO n ,
to a sentence saying that, as the parish
possessed no church clock, it was his in
tention to present one. He was too nerv-
Gus to omit the sentence, and I was as
sured at Bradford that he did actually
present the promised clock, which cost
60"
Here are other Yorkshire stories in
which the comic is mixed with the patilet-
ic:
ga Yorkshire clergyman the other day,
visiting poor man who had just lost his
little boy, endeavored to console him. Th =
poor man burst into tears, and, in the
midst of his sobs exclaimed: If 'twarna
agin t'law A should ha liked to have
little beggar stoofed.'
GA clergyman visiting dying man OBJ
served him putting his hand out of the
bed and eating something from time to
time, so he said he was glad to see he
could eat little, when the man. with a
fuany look. said: They are my funeral
biscuits. The missis went to the town and
bought them, and she's out today, and
I'm eating them.
The Saint Paul globe., 1900-05-07

curI papers:
The Saint Paul globe., 1900-05-07
Here is another story:

/ ness, he added, We nave had no occasion
for them sort of books for Many long
year-never since the old COW was so
! bad
But his curates and clerical friends arc
| responsible for even more .droH stories
| than the laity provided during his rector
| ship, one of which deserves quoting:
THE first time that Archdeacon Wick
| ham visited this deanery as archdeaeon
l drove him to a parsonage, where the
| incumbent insisted upon his inspecting
! everything. In the garden is little pool,
and over this pond we beheld a strange
| erection of posts and planks, with sort
| of saddielike seat on the top On the
| archdeacon asking the incumbent what
| it was, he explained with great delight
! that it was q capital contrivance by
| which you could take exercise and make
| yourself useful by pumping water to the
! church, where he had just been building
| a transept. So, saying that he would
| show us, he clambered up, sat down on
| saddle, smiling, and began to work the
| treadles eagerly. Unfortunately, however,
| the work at the church having been just
/ finished, the pipe which had conveyed the
| water to the Workmen had been cut off
! just above the surface of the water. The
| consequence was that he Immediately pro-
| duced a jet of water which shot straight
/ upward and almost lifted him off his seat,
! entirely upsetttng the archidiaconal gray
! ity. AS we returned to the house the in
| cumbent begged the archdeacon to go into
| the back yard and smell the pump, which
he said stunk horribly. The archdeacon
protested that he had no authority over
| pumps, but he would take no denial and
| when he got itno the back yard he said:
| Now, Mr.. Afchdeacon, if you will put
your nose to the spout, 1 Will pump The
archdeacon, however. was quite equal to
the occasion. and said: No, 1 depute
the rural dean to put his nose to the
! spout, and 1 will receive his report, and,
if needed, pronounce an ecclesiastical cen
sure. "
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1900-09-21
WANTED FOR EMBEzzLEMENr.
U. M. Henderson Sought by Greeley
Colorado Marshal.

d. F. Camp city marshal of Greeley,
Colorado. has sent out descriptive cir
eulars of u. M. Henderson, more COM
monty known as MACK" Henderson.
The marshal has written at the bot
tom of the circular: I'VE think this
man has gone to your city; look out
for him."
The circular in full reads as follows:
"One hundred dollars reward. Want
ed for embezzlement. U. M. Henderson,
known as Mack" Henderson. This
man has been clerking In a bank for
the past fourteen years; has also been
In the sheep business, which we think
he Will engage In again. Is a baseball
player, and takes quite an interest In
the game. Is a bicycle rider. the pho
tograph herewith taken some two years
ago with bicycle suit which Is a good
picture. May grow full beard. Has a
hacking cough. and II talking, will al
ways be clearing his throat and spit
ting. Is good talker and may claim to
have money. Description: Age 81
years; weight $50 pounds; height feet
0 inches; dark complexion. dark hair
and mustache; hair shows a little gray.
Has the appearance of a business man.
dresses plain but good; does not drink
to excess; may gamble some. We will
pay the above reward for his arrest
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1900-09-21

Say About Doan's Backache Kid
ney Pills is Good Proof for
Honolulu People.

When we see it ourselves
When our own ears hear it
When our own neighbors tell it
When our friends endorse it
No better evidence can be had.
It's not what people say in America,
Or distant mutterings from Austria
liza.
But, it's Honolulu talk by Honolulu
people.
There Is no proof like home proof.
Can you believe your neiShbors?
Read this statement made by a
citizen:
Mrs. Grace Dodd of 524 Young street,
this city, informs us: MY sufferir gs
were of complicated nature; l had
enlargement OF the liver according to
the doctors diagnosis, and besides
this was troubled with severe pains in
the right side, and lame back.
had these backache pains for two
years, and so severe were they at times
that hey prevented me from sleeping.
All the medicines / tried were OF no
avail until got some of Doan's Back
ache Kidney Pills at the HOLSTER
Drug Co.'s store. and used them. The
benefit obtained was wonderful; the
backache was entirely relieved and I
cannot be too grateful for this since I
now enjoy good sleep--one of the chief
of Natures blessings"
1t Is important to get the same
medicine which helped Mrs. Dodd.
DOAN'S BACKACHE hIDNEY PILLS.
Therefore ask for Doan's Backache
kidney Pills.
Doan's Baekache Kidney Pills are
sold by all chemists and st5rekeepers
at 80 cents per box. six boxes $3.50, or
will be mailed on receipt of price by
the HOLSTER Drug Co., Honolulu
wholesale agents for the Hawaiian
Islands.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1900-09-21
Will Receive n Medal,

Commodore George Beokley II TO have
n medal after all His friends who put
up the Job un him Monday by giving
him leather medal. used the rawhidl
as preliminary presentation. to be
followed by a more elaborate one. The
order has been given for the token
and as soon as competed IL VIII be
placed on show Possibly on the return
OF the Kinau the medal will be handed
over with due Formally. The boys"
OF the boat clubs feel that the commo-
dore performed n life saving duty In
picking up the two capslzed rowing
crews, and that their thanks should De
extended to him In n tangible shape.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1900-09-21
TO REGISTER
CH|NAMEN
Collector W. Haywood's
Big Task.
WILL EMPLOY DEPUTIES
Task viii Occupy Nearly Fifty Men
For the Next Nine Months
or More.

Within few weeks Collector William
Haywood of the United states Internal
Revenue department wiz take up n task
that viii occupy him for the better part
OF the next nine months According to
the terms of the Organic Act every Chi
nese in the Hawaiian Islands must be
re gis tered according to the laws of che
United States before June 18th, 1901, and
this task falls to the lot of the internal
Revenue department so Mr.. Haywood will
have It on his hands.
When 1t remembered that there are
about es.COO Chinese in the Islands and
that every man and woman and child Of
them must be registered. photographed
and given Identification cards, the size Of
the task will be appreciated. The United
States laws are very strict on the matter
of Chinese immigration, since the passage
of the Chinese Exclusion Act. and In the
States any Chinese who has not his GER
t.iioate when an officer of the Chinese
bureau happens upon him is liable to in
s'.rt deportation. 1t will be the same
81 lne Islands after next June. Until that
time the Chinese in the Islands are given
to he here but after that they must have
their certificates or they will he liable TO
be cent back to the Orient by the first
boat that comes along.
Some time ago Mr. Haywood prepared
drafts of the blanks necessary for the task
of registering the Chinese and these are
expected to arrive by the next steamer
and then the work of registering will he
gil, at once. 1t will require large force
Of deputies and Mr.. Haywood will employ
from forty TO fifty men.
Under the Hawaiian laws Chinese who
CO me to the Islands We're required to reg
lister. but that does not prevent the United
States Government from requiring them
to he once more registered and the
United States law Is stricter than that
of the Islands on the subject. Each Chi
nese will be looked up by one of Mr..
Taywoods agents and he will then be
photographed and list of any identfica-
ton marks on his body made. Then he
will be given a certificate, with his picture
pasted in IT, describing who he is. how
long he has been in the Islands and
what his business is. This paper will he
his protection when the agents of the
board come around and If it is lost and
he cannot prove his identity to the salts
faction of the bureau lie will have no re-
source but to go back to China at public
expense.
When he wishes 10 pay a visit to the
Orient he will have to go to the office of
the Collector of Customs ami thereN OBJ
tain permit to do so bearing his photo
graph and identification marks. and every
means will he taken so that this paper
may describe him and him only, lest he
should decide not to come back and try
to sell it to some brother Celestial. These
papers command high price among Chi
nese at home and many times great risks
will he taken and much money expended
for their purchase so anxious are the Chi
I.rf, -, Ia, tl,, 1s,,, ff
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1900-09-21
CUTS AND BRUISES HEALED.
QUICKLY HEALED.

Chamberlain's Pain Balm applied to
cut. bruise. burn. scald or like injury
VIII instantly allay the pain and will
heal the parts in less time than any
other treatment. Unless the injury Is
very severe 1t will not leave a scar.
Pain Balm also cures rheumatism.
sprains. dwellings and lameness. For
sale by oil dealers and druggists. BEN
son, Smith e. Co.. Ltd. general agents.
Hawaii Territory.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1900-09-21
Pacific Hardware Warehouse.

The contract for the erection of the
Pacific Hardware Company's ware
house on Merchant street has been let
to the Concrete Construction Company
and II. +. Bertleman. The former com
pany wiz do the mason work. aud the
latter the remainder. The contract ~
Tor 81 80. divided as follows: Concrete
Construction Company, Sl,lj0; IL. +.
Bertieman. Sl.l0O.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1900-09-21

aud detention IN any Jail until we can
get paper and come fnr him Wire any
Information. or of the arrest to me az
my expense"
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1900-11-24
GUILTY OF MANsLAUGHTER.
Man Who Gave Indians Wood Alco.
hol Is Convicted.

Butte, Nov. 23.-Charles Verona, Il
tailor, who caused the death of Kan
astee, a Cree Indian woman, and two
Chippewa bucks, on the 18th of Feb
ruary, by furnishing them quantity
of wood alcohol, which they drank,
was tonight convicted of manslaugh.
ter by the jury that tried him. The
jury left his punishment to the court
Judge Clancy will pass sentence on
the verdict Saturday. The trial was
concluded and the case submitted to
the jury at 500 p. M, and they were
out until 10 o'clock before they agreed
on verdict. 1t was stated that the
difference among the jury was as to
the penalty and they finally agreed
to leave it to the court. Soon after
leaving the court room they agreed on
verdict of manslaughter. Veronas
defense was that the Indians told him
that they wanted the alcohol for
cleaning purposes and not for drink.
ing.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1900-11-24
Kruger Will Be Given
Great Reception
UPON REACHING PARIS
Cries Uneomplimentary to Friendly Pow
ers Will Not Be Permitted,
Say the Police.

Paris, Nov. 23.-The peaceful but
enthusiastic manner in which the
president Of France greeted the arriv-
al of Mr.. Kruger, yesterday, and the
warm welcome extended him in the
cities as he passed through today,
all occurring without any forceful
demonstrations, has made Mr.. Krug-
er feel confident that his reception
here tomorrow will be very pleasant
incident. M. Lepnow, president of
the police, said today:
"We have full confidence in the
people in Paris, and count on them
not doing anything likely to CAUSE
diplomatic complications, however,
the police have the strictest orders
to permit only cries which are com
plimentary to Mr.. Kruger, and they
will not tolerate any cries uncompli-
mentary to neighboring and friend
ly nation. Any person issuing un-
complimentary cries will be arrest
ed" Mr.. Kruger will arrive at the
Lyons railroad station at 1O:4O a. m.
where he will be met by a commit
tee representing the Beers, deputies,
senators, etc. After short in
formal reception he will be escorted
by way of the Grand Boulevards to
his hotel, which is situated on d
prominent boulevard. His trip
through the thoroughfares will be co
incident with lunch hours and many
stores will close for the rest of the
afternoon. There is certain to be
an immense concourse of people along
the entire route. At every point in
today's journey President Kruger was
greeted with the widest enthusiasm,
and great cheering was the order.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1900-11-24

In breadmaking on large scale
less than third of the old time is
now taken. One thousand pounds
of dough for biscuits is rolled, cut
and prepared for baking in three
hours and Sd minutes as against 81
hours by hands.
In the first half of the present
year one of the London banks made
profit of $1,S50,yv0, and another
cleared over $1,200,OOO. Three more
ranged from $1,150,t,o down to $780,
900, the smallest figure being equiva-
ient to $l,300,OOO. Banks that do as
we'll as that are extremely scarce in
the United States, if any such ex-
ist At least ten English banks, not
including tn bank of England,
made profits of more Ian 100000
apiece in the first half of the present
year, and they averaged about $780,
900.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1900-11-24
FOR NEWS, TAKE THE BEE.
WILL ENCOUNTER OPPOSITION.
Clark Will Have Fight Before He
Gets His Seat.

Washington, D. CIV. A. Clark.
the Montana millionaire who aspires
the senatorial toga will encounter
opposition when he presents himself
for the second time for admission to
the United States senate. The death
of his political adversary, Marcus
DAILY, and the control of the Montana
legislature by the Clark host insures,
on the surface, easy sailing toward
the coveted prize. But there are
hidden reefs and shallow spots which
Clark will have to navigate before
gaining his port. The senate com.
mittee on privileges and elections,
which listened to the evidence of
election frauds and bribery by means
of which Clark obtained his first Gre
dentials, will first decide upon his
fitness as United States senator be-
fore passing finally upon his second
set of credentials.
Clark will be elected senator to fill
the vacancy caused by his resigna-
ton, forestalling peremtory expulsion
as result of the disclosures made be.
fore the senatorial inquisition. Mon
tana politics, according to the illum-
nations presented before the commit
tee on privileges and elections, is
deeply tinged with corruption and
the taint of bribery Although there
does not appear ground to dispute
the Clark majority in the new Mon
tana legislature, which assemblies in
January, there is much doubt as ia
the admission of Clark on account OF
the bad ordor which attaches to his
name. He confessed openly when
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1900-11-24
TO WIPE OUT VICE.
Bishop Potter Suggests a Vigilance
Committee for That Purpose.

New York. Nov. 30. - Bishop
Henry c. Potter today delivered an
address God AMI Liberty" in st.
Pauls chapel, in which he suggested
the organization OF vigilance com
mittee of $4,000 reformers to cleanse
the city of vice. He favored a cen.
trail committee of three or five men,
under whose orders the public com
mittee should act. The bishop said
in part: In New York there should
be organized vigilance committee
such as that in San Francisco OF
25,OOO men, sworn to obey and en-
force the laws, day and night Men
three weeks, when a little innocent,
5-year-old girl was rayished in brOal
day light, practically under the eye
of the police, calls loudly for such
a vigilance committee We shall not
redeem the city, Een and brethren
by emotions; we shall not redeem i
ny ueluuCldClOu, we snail not re-
deem it by pessimism that wraps its
garments around it, and turns it's
back on it. There are burning with
zeal and high sacrifice in this city
today great multitudes OF men and
women. They are of different r.
ligion, but they must forget that. They
most all of them must forget that
are of different political affiliatiou:
and having reached that point where
five men whom all OF us trust and be-
lieve in-there are hundreds of them
we should say to them. Now, then
tell us what you want us to do, where
you want us to stand in relation to
party, our church and our organiza.
tion for the betterment of New York.
We will trust your Judgment, we will
follow your lead and your work IS
done"
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1900-11-24

cancer. He went to Chicago, wnere
he had an operation performed. He
came back to Helena few weeks
ago and remained here until about
10 days ago, when he had to again
submit to an operation and fastened
to Chicago. He held the position of
territorial auditor under Governors
Hauser and Leslie, being the last to
hold that position under the territor-
ial regime. For many years he was
prominently identified with the A. o.
U. w., having held the position of
grand recorder for this state for sew
eral years One child, a son, living
here, survives him. He was 50 years
of age.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1900-11-24
"A SERIOUS
DIVERGENCE,
The Powers Are at Lopqer-
heads In China.
RUSSIA'S BOLD FACE.
Refuses to Withdraw Her Troops or
Give Up the Railroad As
Promised.

London, Nov. pa serious diverg
ence has arisen in Pekin," says thy
Tein Tsin correspondent of the Daily
Mail, wiring Wednesday, Japan
United States, Russia and France IN
vor demanding milder punishment
than the execution of Prince Tuan
and others, while Great Britain, Ger
many, Austria, Hungary and Italy de
mand no less than death penalty
Until decision has been arrived al
this divergence will interfere with the
general negotiations Another re
markable feature of the situation is
the sudden bold face of Russia, who
now declines either to withdraw he,
troops from the province of Pechil
or hand over the railway as promised
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1900-11-24
FOR NEWS, TAKE THE BEE,
MORE JAPs.
N. P. and G. N. Have Contracted for
| 1000 of the Brownies.

1000 Of the Brownies.
A resident Of this city, railroad
man, who is considerably interested
in the employment of Japanese by
railway companies, recently wrote tc
a friend on the Pacific coast, asking
him what the conditions there are
and has received the following reply:
"A short time ago Jim Hill and
Mellen of the Northern Pacific were
here, and from what l picked up and
remarks the chief dropped, | think
you will see more Japs In Montana
Idaho and Washington than ever.
have also heard that just as soon as
it was a sure thing that Mckinley
was elected the officials of the Great
Northern and Northern Pacific
signed contract regarding supplies,
ETC., and promised to use 1000 more
Japs. This contract, of course, was
with the Oriental Trading Company
l had a letter from Jim West today.
He says that the Great Northern has
several Japs hustling around the
shops. Now old boy, get out of the
west, for Jap will get your job in
side of two years. or course, it is
just a chance that some of the laws
that have been a dead letter for SO
long 4 time will be dug up and bus
mess done. Here is chance for
unions to get in little work. Will
they? Time alone will tell If they
do not, l see the white mans finish,
unless he's rich, and that does not
get you and I."-Great Falls Tribune.