davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05

forced in the POPULATIONS and in prac-
tice. Complaints of extortion or want
of courtesy should be listened to with
care, and ruthlessly punished when
proven. All the elements entering into
remuneration should be considered
II Is unjust to ineumhents to send
them abroad only to have fees cut off
without notice, just as they have fairly
ADJUSTED themselves to their income
ana surroundings. Generally speak.
ing when attention is directed to IN
abuse, the first inclination of both
Congress and the department is to be
reduce or abolish the fees. without so
much as thinking of the effect or the
equities Nearly everything in the sys
ten has developed by the failure of
congress to provide proper salaries
and the fees now existing should he
abolished only after compensation has
been provided by an increase of
salaries.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
hn WAS WORSE.

Rough and harsh as he was Nicholas
l., car of Russia, had measure of
chivaIry in his disposition. While
driving through the streets of st
Petersburg on one occasion he caught
sight of an officer in his household in
the act of upsetting an old beggar
woman, whose hands were raised in a
prayer for aims. The officer was quite
unmindful of the august witness of his
act, and was rather pleased when,
few hours later, he was summoned to
the imperial presence. Nicholas soon
undeceived him, and in the presence OF
dozen courtiers cut him to the quick
with his indignant reproof Enough"
said Nicholas. finally; you will walk
up and down that corridor all night.
and every time you turn you will say,
in a loud voice, 4 am puppy! am
puppy THE Argonaut.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
LEErLE LAC GRENIER.

Leetle Lac Grenier she's all alone
Right on de mountain top;
But the cluod sweepin' by, will fin tam
to stop.
No matter how quickly he want to go,
So he'll kiss leetle Grenier down below
Leetle Lac Grenier she's all alone
Up on de mountain high,
But she never feel lonesome. cos fos
wy?
So soon as de winter was gone away
De bird come an sing to her ev'ry day
Leetle Lac Grenier she's all alone
Back on de mountain dere,
But the pine tree an spruce stan
ex'ry-w'ere
Along by de shore, an max her warm:
For dey kip off de win an de winner
storm!
Leetle Lac Grenier she's all alone,
No broder, no sister. near,
But de swallows will fly, an de Deeg
moose. deer
An caribou, too, will go long way
To drink de sweet waters of Lac
Grenier.
Leetle Lac Grenier, l see you now
Onder de roof of spring.
Ma canoes afloat, an de robin sing,
De lily's bgginnin' her summer dress.
An trout's awakin' up from hees long,
long res.
Leetle Lac Grenier I'm happy now,
Out in de ole canoe.
For I'm all alone, ma chere, wit you,
An if only nice light rod had,
I'd try dat fish near the lily pad!
Leetle Lac Grenier! Oh, let me go.
Don't spik no more,
For her voice is strong lax de repid's
roar
An you know you self I'm too far away
For write you now-Leetle Lac
Grenier.
DIR. w. Ii. Drummond.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05

said that it could never replace the
horse in cavalry, but some of the evolu
tons of Captain Gerard's men snow
that they may be wrong after all.
One of the exercises consists of the
regular cavalry drill, known in Eng
land as cutting the Turks head" A
dummy head is placed on a post and
the horseman. while riding at full
speed, cuts it off by blow with his
saber. The French cyclist soldier does
the same, and it is not an easy matter,
either, as an unguarded shift in the
saddle causes bad spill.
The bicycle is just beginning to get a
toothold in the regular English army.
but 1t has been employed in some of
the volunteer regiments for year OF
more. Innovations move slowly in
conservative England, but the bicycle is
certain to obtain recognition, as a
large majority of the minor officers are
enthusiastically in favor of it, and
point with envy to its progress in the
French and German armies.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
THE SUEZ CANALS TRAFFIC.

Returns of the Suez Canals traffic
in 1899 shows continued increase of
business and profits. The number of
steamers traversing the canal was
$3.50, aggregating 9,S93,022 tons, and
paying the company 17,510,142 in tolls.
This was an increase of 16 in number
of ships, $4,000 in tonnage and 81, $780,
600 in receipts. In 10 years the ton
mage has increased by 100000 tons
and receipts by $3,430,000. The users
of the canal represent all civilized
nations, England leading with 6,62S,767
tons and Germany following far in the
rear with 1,051, 149 TONS Other nations
are simply 'not.in it" as respects ton
mage. The United States had 64,S01
tons, Japan PIG, 1863 tons, France SOL
142 tons, Russia 1887 tons, Italy 1872
I'll tons.
The success of the Suez canal is sup
posed by some persons to prove that the
Nicaragua canal will be similarly use
full But the circumstances are as un-
like as possible. The Suez canal is in
the shortest trade routes between the
hundreds of millions of Asia and the
hundreds of millions of Egypt, Europe
and western Asia, whereas the
Nicaragua canal connects merely two
wide oceans. 1t is a shorter distance
from New York to India or China via
the Suez canal than via the Nicaraguan
route. The Suez canal has at present
no railroads to compete with, whereas
there are 10 railroads to compete with
the Nicaragua canal. 1t is Europe that
makes the Suez canal pay and Europe
will continue to find it the shortest
water route to the eact. An important
fact il the sea-leyel character of the
Suez canal as compared with the
broken and dangerous character of the
navigation of canal having many
locks. ~,'.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05

ter, he is still its enemy, as Tar as ne is
personally concerned, as he has said on
several occasions that he would never
learn to ride a wheel as long as he was
able to mount horse. But he is too
good a soldier to allow his personal
animosities to interfere with his judg-
ment.
Another leading European military
authority, who has announced himself
as favorable to the use of the wheel Ia
the army, is General Plioutzensky, a
distinguished Russian soldier. As yet
Russia has done nothing in the way OF
employing the bicycle, but the intro
duction will be made in short time,
it is believed, nov that the car mas mad
an opportunity of seeing the work OF
the regular French soldiers on the
wheel.
Germany, always on the alert to I'M
prove its military status, has been ex-
perimenting with the wheel for nearly
ten years, but has not progressed as
much as France. The competition De-
tween the armies of these two nations
however, will probably do more to per-
feet the wheel for military purposes
than anything else. France and Ger
many have the best war balloons the
world over, and the best trained
pigeons for carrying dispatches. Ger
many has the finest kennel of trained
war dogs for use in the battlefield Z
hunt up the wounded, and while Frame
is beaten in this respect, she has tn
most practical submarine boats.
every movement in military flair
made bysthe one is taken up by tn
othsr sand improved upon If possible
So 4 is quite natural to depend upol
tie military rivalry between Franc
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05

and Germany for the perfection of the
army bicycle.
Many modern war contrivanceS have
originated in the United States to be
perfected in Europe. The most notable
case of this kind is the war balloon.
To Gen. Fitz John Porter of the north
ern army in the civil war of the United
States belongs the honor of first using
the war balloon, yet many of the Euro
pean powers have superior systems of
aerial navigation to that employed in
the country where the first practical
test was made.
Captain Gerad, a young officer of the
regular French army. has done more
for the progress of the military bicycle
than any one else. He is an inventive
genius of rare order, having COM
plete knowledge of the science of me-
chanics, and to his fertile brain and en-
thusiasm is due the clearing away of
many obstacles which seemed to make
the use of the military bicycle an i'm
possibility.
A full battalion of regular soldiers
have been assigned to him, and these
are drilled daily on the bicycle. They
go on long rides through the country
and are put through the evolutlons of
war times Rapid firing machine guns
are carried on several types of wheels,
including tandems, double tricycles and
the regular bicycle. These guns are
rugged in various ways in an effort to
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
FEES SHOULD BE ABOLISHED.


Fees, whatever their amount or
character, should be reduced 10 the
lowest possible limit consistene with
dignity and fairness to local officials
in other countries, and should belong
to the government, says George f.
Parker In the Atlantic. The fee sys-
tenn Is dangerous and unjust. Il is
full OF temtations at all times, and
even more than usually so when appll-
ed by officials too remote for proper
supervision or risk of public exposure.
Even the fees for court commissions
should be turned 'into the treasury
All advice, whether TO citizens at home
or to strangers, to merchants or emf
grants, whether by letter or in person.
should be made part Of the consult's
Official duty, to be rendered gratui.
tously at all times. Inquiries abou,
estates should be freely and fully
answered under strict regulations. II
there is business in them, 1t should be
referred to lawyers, Endorsed by the de-
partnent on one side, and by the con-
SUI or the mayor OF the town on the
other' all officials being prohibited
from sharing in fees under any circum-
stances. These are matters Of grow
ing Importance and interest. They
cover important duties, in which the
utmost patience and care should be en-
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
PRESIDENTIAL LONGEVITY.

II President Mckinley were as old as
William Henry Harrison at the time
when the latter took Office there would
De scramble among statesmen and
polltlclanS to accept the vice-presi-
GENITAL nomination, as it would be al
most certain case of waiting for dead
mans shoes. Harrison was 6S. He
cled less than two months after the in
auguration. Taylor was another old
chap with a short lease of life, going in
at 64 and dying at So. McKinlev's
shoes are very warm and comfortable
yet. He is just pass 81, and according
TO the actuaries' table has a reasonable
expectation of 1515 years of life. His
health is excellent. BY the American
experience table he will live over 10
years. 1t does not appear to an am
bilious man that there is any likelihood
OF the president dropping off in the
next four years, therefore the vice
presidency goes begging, says the New
YORK Press. Look over the list of our
presidents and see what fine age each
arrived at excepting. of course. the
iew who were taken off by the hand OF
the assassin. Washington was 81.
John Adams 80. Jefferson SO, Madison
80, Monroe 70, John Quincy Adams So
jackson rs, Van Buren, 70, w. Fl. Harri-
son %, Tyler II, Polk SO, Taylor 65
Fillmore "a, Pierce Ga, Buchanan n
Johnson So, Grant SO, Hayes II, and
Arthur So, while Cleveland still lives
at 90 and Harrison is 81. Where else
VIII you find such a record? Possibly
inc explanation rests with Admiral
Dewey's statement that the presidency
is a mighty easy billet.-pittsburg
News.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
THE BEAUTIFUL SUGAR-MAPLE
TREE.


To native New Englanders there is
no tree around which cluster more
fond memories than the sugar-maple.
When we see her shading the occu-
pants of the benches in the city parks,
as graciously as she shelters the lambs
which gather at her foot In the New
Hampshire pasture, she reminds them
of "sapping-time," and awakens
visions of the old moss-grown sap
house around whose sunny clearing
the snow melted early rhe opening
in the forest was frlnged above by
delicate budding branches against a
haZy spring sky, the little brook ran
beneath the softening snow-drifts
which remained, or sang in the shad-
owy glade where the liverwort and
trailing arbutus grew. Chlpmunks
frisked about the wood-pile, whit the
bluebird uttered such CHEEKY notes
that the hard work of carrying brim-
ming pals of sap was forgotten, and
the whole thing seemed a frollc.
Every spring when the naples bios
som in the park, these memories come
baSh' MI DiiIlOuBHS Speaks OF
'motherly old apple trees, which have
seen trouble" This description seems
to me to apply more truthfully to the
sugar-maple. 1t is true that apple
trees are not often neglected, yet 1t is
no uncommon thing to see the horizon
tai branches of an old tree resting
serenely upon props, and its decaying
trunk bound about with iron bands to
make it's declining days as COM
Portable and fruitful as possible. But
the old sugar-maplo has truly seen
trouble, for the iron has literally en-.
tered her soul, springtime after spring
time. While her life-blood Is dripping
into the bucket from the auger-holes
in her trunk, she hangs out her deli
cate fringes of bloom, and does the best
she can with the sap which is left to
mako foliage and new wood.-FranR
French in Scribner's.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05

discover the best method for distribut-
ing their weight and that of the am
munition.
On the regular safety the rapid firing
gun is fixed between the handles. and
it is an easy matter to perceive that
charge made by a couple of hundred
men riding abreast and armed in this
way would be more deadly than a
charge of twice that number of cavalry.
The tricycle., or military duplex safety,
as it is called, is thought of favorably,
for the reason that the space between
the two rear wheels is well adapted to
the carrying of ammunition. The gun
is rugged on cross bar between two
saddles and is easily manipulated by
one of the riders.
Another machine in use is a tandem
bicycle rugged with two rapid fire guns
The entire weight of the guns, ammunl-
! ton and wheels is less than 200 pounds
OF course, marvellously fast time can
not be made, but two men can propel
the wheel a greater distance and in
much less time than would be the case
with ordinary artillery.
French and German army officers
concur in the belief that the perfected
military bicycle will afford a means for
the rapid movement of light artillery,
and all the efforts just now are con-
centrated in that direction. The roads
of most of the European countries are
very fine; in fact, are ideal for the BIZ
eyclist, so it is quite possible that the
next great European war, when it does
come. will see thousands and tens Of
thousands Of soldier cyclists, charging
each other with rapid fire guns blazing
and sabers flashing.
The opponents Of the bicycle have
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
GENESIS OF JOKES.
Philadelphia Records Contributions 10
Smiles of the Day.

A girl may be the picture of health
without being painted.
The suburbanite who borrows his
neighbours lawn mower is usually bor-
rowing trouble.
No man can hope to succeed as
pawnbroker unless he takes an interest
in his business.
Hoax: What purpose in life has an
old maid?" Joax: "a cat. That's
usually purr puss."
The most disagreeable person IL
sometimes the one who agrees with
everything you say.
Nell: you look as though you had
dent in your face" Belle: "Tve
just been to the dentist.
Some people insist upon hiding their
light under a bushel when a thimble
would be quite large enough for the
purpose.
Wigg: They say the cycling craze
is over" Wagg: Yes, the fellow
who takes his girl out on tandem
must take back seat"
Miss Oldgirla 81 came honestly by
my complexion" Miss Caustique:
"oh, didn't mean to lnsinuate that
you hadn't paid for it."
Cynicus: You would make good
photographer. Sillicus: why,
never took a picture in my life" Cyrir
Gus: Il know, but you have the gift Of
flattery."
Mrs. Buggins: ut looks like rain.
think you had better take your UNI
brella. What nonsense! Haven't we
any borrowed ones?"
The kissing bug again is here,
Which means, without doubt,
Though rather early in the year,
The summer girls about.
Tell me the old, old story
She said, as she held his fist.
And the yarn he spun was the good
old one
OF the only girl he'd ever kissed.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
BANANAS AS FOOD.


Banana lovers will be delighted to
know that their favorite fruit contains
" per cent. Of water, 2.14 per cent Of
heterogeneous matter and % per cent.
OF saccharine substances. 1t is the %
per cent. Of sweets" in the banana
which makes 1t nutritious food. A
Mexican chemist has been comparing
bananas with wheat and potatoes for
food and has arrived at the conclusion
that for the same space and under the
same conditions Of cultivation the pro.
duction Of bananas is forty times that
OF potatoes and 100 times that Of wheat.
he mas figured out that the area Of
land which will raise enough wheat to
feed six men will produce enough
bananas TO feed $50 men.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
SUDDEN ToorHACHE EPIDEMIC.

since the reference in Fridays "Bliz-
zard" to the Oil City dentist who gave
to a patient a drink of whisky. which
he claimed was 30 years of age. there
seems to have been a sudden outbreak
OF an epidemic of toothache in this
vicinity Severl inquiries as to who
the magnanimous dentist is have al
ready been received at this office, Of
which the following are samples:
Editor Blizzard-Who is the dentist
that Is giving away 30-year-old booze
with the extraction of every tooth? /
nave several bad teeth. Yours in
haste. sufgarar
Editor Blizzard-Would you kindly
give me the name Of the dentist in this
city who keeps a supply of 3O-year-old
whisk on tap?
strict confidence observed on my
part.
Yours respectfully,
Mistur Editor have had a iumnip
toothak for three weeks and I think I
could stan to have EN- yanked II
could get pull or two at sum fus-clas'
mixer. Who is the chap that keeps it?
-.
=. 81 amt a drinkln' man. nat.
churly
we can only say In reply to these
anxious correspondents that it would
De quite unprofcssional to disclose the
name OF the dentist in question. BE.
sides that, we, too have some neglected
dentists work that will have 70 bo
attended to very soon.-olI City Biz.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
FEMININE DIPLOMACY.

Young Physiclan-But Isn't 81
week rather exorbitant rent for such
a small room?
Landlady-Oh, dear, no; not for
doctor.
Young Physician-And why not for
a doctor, pray?
Observation-Disclosures this is a very un-
healthy house, and there is never a
week passes but what half dozen of
my roomers are ill.-Chicago News.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05

european military authorities have
been at variance concerning the practi-
cal use of the bicycle in the army. but
it seems now as if the clouds of doubt
were lifting and that official steps will
be taken by the leading generals of the
great powers to bring the wheel into
regular use.
No less person than Lord Wolseley,
commander-in-chief of the English
army, has come to regard the bicycle
as OF immense value to the military OF
the Kingdom. Yet not long ago he was
Violently opposed to it. For that mat,
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05

Blobbs: Has your epileptic friend
gone away for his health? Slobbs:
Not yet You see every time he starts
to go he has fit" Blobbs: Sort Of
goes by fits and starts, eh?"
Art collector: Here is a very old
painting, and as you will see. 1t is
somewhat obscure. | should like ID
have it restored" Artist: Eyes, sir.
From whom did you steal--I mean, to
whom shall restore it?"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
WHERE TO FIND MERCY.

Counterfeiting was once punishable
by death in England, a fact which led
judge, in passing sentence on man
convicted of that crime, to say, II can
hold out to you no hope of mercy here,
and must urge you to make prepare
ton for another world, where / hope
you may obtain that mercy which a
due regard for the credit of our paper
currency forbids you to hope for now. y
Tho Argonaut.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
CHANGED HIS MIND.

Critical Husband-Thls beef isn't 1T
to eat.
Wife-Well, I told the butcher that
II 1t wasn't good would send you
round to his shop to give hifp thrash
ing, and / hope you'll take acme one
with you, for he looked pretty fierce,
and didn't like the way he handled
his big knife.
Husband--Humph! Oh, well. I Will
say I've seen worse than this.-ScrapA
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
FAIR WARNING.

The Husband-My dear. hear that
Mr.. Highfyer is flirting with you.
The Wife-Well, what Of II? When
he gets tired OF it. don't come to mC
to me and expect TO be sympathized
and expect to be sympathized with.
Smart Set.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
MATTER OF TASTE.

The Wife-This paper says II you
wash your hair in tea 1t will darken 1t.
The Husband-Possibly. But / pre-
ter to have my tea darkened some
ether way.--New York World.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
COTTON MANUFACTURES.

The New York Journal of Commerce
finds 20 new cotton mills started in the
South last April, with 113,300 spindles
and capitalization of s2,500,00. The
consumption of cotton in the Southern
mills since September has been los. OO7
bales, as against an increase of but 65,-
442 bales in Northern mills in the same
peroid. Southern mills took this
season 80 per cent. of the total con-
sumed in this country. lew Southern
mills produce fine goods, but in North
Carolina there are new mills that use
Sea Island cotton and make fine yarns
for the mercerlzing trade. The manu-
facture of wadding and towing is being
extended and knitting mills multiply
rapidly. South Carolina still leads In
the building of new mills, but Texas
begins to go largely into the manu-
facture of cotton. The founding Of
schools for textile instruction is a
prominent educational feature in tho
South at present. The manufacture of
textile machinery is about to begin.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
A LONG DESCENT.

OR Parkhurst thinks our Sunday
laws should be amended 50 that a
man could buy tobacco on that day."
That's a long descent from Puri-
tan views"
They believed That men who smoke
now will smoke hereafter. "--Cleve-
land Free Press.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1900-07-05
THE MILITARY BIKE
GERMANY AND FRANCE PERFECT
ING THE WAR WHEEL.
WELLESLEY ALSO FAvORS 1T

Russia Will Shortly Introduce 1t in Her
Army-Prospective Importance of
the Soldier Cyclist in the Next Euro
pean War-A Look to the Future
May Replace Cavalry.