Smyrna times., 1900-08-22
MELON JAGS ~ "
" ~ IN SLOWBROOK.

johnson unwound what looked like
string, and let one end go into the
liquor.
1--WE just couldn't stand for that
and out of the woods we rushed. and
Johnson's secret was out. The old
fellow had been growing that melon
en- whiskey diet, just as he had read
about, and he had certainly got a
whOpper.
"He was mad clear Though, but we
just laughed and watched that melon
OF course we told others, and people
for miles around came to see john
sons melon. 1t brought so MANY
people that johnson built high fence
around it, and charged 10 cents to see
1t. The people had to stay some
where, and the hotel had to build on
four-stOry addition. Twonew stores
started up, and we got 300 new set
tiers.
'Then agricultural professors from
Washington and the colleges began
to come around, and our women folks
took to pink teas, and began playing
golf. Things were on the boom, and
johnson had just built a new hours.
and had money in the bank, when we
were all startled one morning by the
news that the wonderful melon had
ceased its gyrations. And ceased she
had; the old man wept and tore his
hair, and fairly soaked the ground with
whiskey, but it was no use. That af
ternOOn we held cutting bee. There
were half dozen professors and all
kinds of smaller fry, and every one of
us had to pay S..
"Old johnson couldn't kept up the
nerve to do the cutting, so one of the
city dudes handled the knife. Well,
for about an eight of an inch he cut all
right, and then he struck the toughest
sort of cutting he ever tried to do.
That rind was just like sole leather
and about three inches thick. 1t took
three hours to get it cut in half, and
when it did fall apart, all inside where
the red meat should have been was
pale amber color, perfectly transpar-
ent and dotted all over with little white
spots, while the seeds were bright red.
One of the professor chaps said it
looked like a drunkard's stomach
However that might be, it looked
mighty scary, and none of us would
taste the thing for a long time, Just
stood looking at it like lot of fools
At last fellow from Washington got
up courage, and, cutting out piece,
tasted it. Well, you never saw such
change come over a man in your
life. In less than a minute he was
quoting Shakespeare, in three minutes
he was acting like ship in a storm,
and in five minutes was sleeping of
one of the most beautiful jags ever
saw. One of the chaps present was
revenue man, and he wanted tc
seize that melon right there; said it
conficted with the revenue law. Thai
just woke up johnson, and he told
him to produce his old law covering
melons, and of course he had him tight
enough then.
ut was agreed that each one pres
ent could have piece of melon to take
away with him, but that all the seeds
should go to the old man. In cutting
up the melon some Of the seeds fell
on the whiskey soaked ground, and
no sooner had they touched it than
each and every one of them began to
do the greatest stunts in tumbline
l ever witnessed. Well that Just
made us wild for the seeds, but John
son had about all of them in big
bag, and only about three of us were
able to get any, and no kind OF threats
pleadings or bribes would make hin
give up. With the end of the melo1
all the city people began to leave, anG
the boom kinder left the town. There
was nothing else talked about foi
months but Johnson's melon, and ht
was elected Mayor and was pointed
out to all the new drummers whC
struck town.
"The incident rather died out unit
the next spring, when Johnson bull
ten-foot board fence all around I
ten-acre lot and posted it all over will
signs about trespassery. We jus
knew what that meant, and it wasn'
three days before all the boards in tn,
county had been bought up, and oi
every farm you'd see Q fenced lot, ant
knew right off what was behind tina