The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-06-12
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

why is it" said the visitor, that
some of the men who really have the
least influence in public affairs get up
now and then and make the longest
speeches."
That's easily explained" answered
Senator Sorghum. Such man can
afford to talk. He doesn't know any
thing that he is afraid of giving away
Washington Star.
Julius. we must begin to talk about
our summer trip"
That's so, Julia; the sooner we be-
gin talking about it the sooner 1 can
get you convinced that we can't afford
to go anywhere. Chicago Record.
He-"Yes, dearest. I have loved be-
fore we met; but let US not dig up the
past"
She-"Oh all right. then; if you don't
want to dig up the past, why, let's not
dig up the future, either Life.
Yes, I was defeated by the bosses,
and I'm glad to come out of the
struggle with my life
What have you got to. show for it?"
Nothing but a flattered pocketbOok
and a few brown blOtches."
What are the bOtchaS2'
Some kind of mud they threw at me
that won't wash off Cleveland Plain
Dealer
ct doesn' speak to him no mo-" said
Miss Miami Brown Indignantly.
DE gemman dat sent you de candy"
asked Miss Juliet Julep.
"Da's de gemman. He said he wah
gwineter send me sumDin' 'proDriate
an when / done open de box dar WASH
muffin in it but chocolate drops. -
Washington Star.
All at once Amphion seized the Tyre,
the gift of Mercury, and began to play
And even as he twanged, and the peo-
pie OF the Thebes began to stir rest
lessly in their slumbers, for it was yet
early. the stones that lay around in
heaps, waiting. perchance, for the COM
Ing of the pavement contractor began
to move in obedience to the mysterious
power Of the music--so-called-and ar
ranged themselves rapidly into a wall
inclOsing the hapless city.
why" asked Zetluus, conquering for
a moment the tired feeling that pos
sessed him, why do you surround the
city with a wall?'
Because answered Amphion, leer-
ing frightfully, Il don't want any OF
my audience to escape"
And he played on.-ChlcagO Tribune.
Mr.. BIT is hard to tell a woman's
age by her looks"
Mrs. BIT should hope so. Why.
this old hat of mine MAKES me look like
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Bulletin.
she's a remarkable actress. ISM
Very Why she's been on the stage
eleven years, and never lost a diamond
nor a husband yet-Philadelphia Bull
letin.
Drink to me only with your eyes!'
he cried.
An right" she replied. Il will i
youth furnish the eye-water. Phil
adelphia Bulletin.
You seem to have a great taste 70
poetry" remarked the copy hook, OBJ
serving the Office goat shifting aroun
the editors waste basket"
Yes" replied the goat. but 1 Xix
my poems well done, and I seldom fin
that sort here"
"Huhl' exclaimed the copy hook, 9Th
well-done poem that comes to me
very rare. "-PhiLadelphia Press.
Uncle John" remarked Dick, "is tn
finest after dinrter speaker know Of"
Why" said his friend, with some as
constituent. I never heard he had an
ability in that direction at all"
well he has. I've dined with hil
several times at various places. and al
ter dinner he always says: That's a
right. my boy, I'll pay for it Go
lier's Weekly.
II am sorry to hear your house We
burned last night, Ruggles. But it We
insured. wasn't it?"
Yes. That's what hurts the wors
I'm a stakeholder in the company thi
insured it. and this makes the fou
teenth loss since last week. "-Chical
Tribune