The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1900-09-05
BILL. ARPs coNuNDRUMs.
HE ANSWERS THE SCHOOL GIRLS
Gives Some Interesting Puzzles and
Says the Best Part OF Parental Infa
10 to Please the Little Ones.

not cat corn when 1t Ia strewn around
the circumference OF q circle. They
say that their presiding elder couldent
tell, and advised them to ask me.
supposed 1t was conundrum, or that
there was some catch in the question
u catch like the one, Why will aguinea |
pigs eyes fall out IL you hold 1t up by |
the tall ? AS the guinea pig has no |
tail, OF course, his eyes are In no dang
or. But q lady friend who raises geese
assures me that she has often seen
them tempted with corn or other grain
strown thickly round circle, and they
will, not venture near 1t but IL scatter
ed, they will, after careful inspection,
approach and eat. What the circle las
TO do with 1t Is past my ken though we
do know that geese march In straight
lines and the wild geese fly In straight
angles. A goose is very suspicious
fowl, and is always on the lookout for
danger. A goose hasent much sense.
In fact, a goose is q goose; but their
devotion to each other when mated Is
beautiful. How faithfully the gander
will stand by his mate while she sits
on her nest. She plucks the down from
his breast and covers her eggs. How
gallantly he escorts her to the grass
and escorts her back when she leaves
them for food. How tenderly they care
for the brood when 1T comes, and never
leave them until feathered and grown
There are no divorces nor grass widows
In the Anserian family-what q pity
we are not all geese.
But, speaking OF conundrums re-
minds me OF how lady caught me
yesterday when she asked me how the
water got into the watermelon, and as
l proceeded to eXpound the chemical
processes that all fruits and vegetables
had to go through, she stopped me and
said: "Oh, major, the water gets into
the watermelon because 1t is planted
though, by asking her why was al
elephant like lady's belt. When che
gave it up, said, Because there is u
rb' In both" why" she said, "thore
is no 'b' in elephant There is d
b. In both,'" said l, "'B.o.t-h you
can't spell both without q b." 1t
takes little time to see that. And
there Ia another conundrum that was
classic when | was young
"Charge, Chester charge-On, Stanley, ON?
Were the last words Of Marmion.
Had but been in Stanley's place
Tears would have moistened Chester's
face"
The smell OF an onion would have
brought a tear or two, reckon. Now
let those sweet school girls strain
their minds over that, and then let
them search the scriptures and tell me
this. There Is reference made in the
old and new testaments to person
who died as no other person ever died; {;
whose body never saw corruption,
whose name Ia never spoken and the
material OF whose shroud is found
In every household. There is no catch
In that-it 10 fact. Ask the presiding
elder.
am indulging in these thoughts to
please the children, for that Is the
biggest and best part OF parental life,
and Ia what the world is working for.
Sometimes cannot help Illuminating
upon what pleased me when | was
young and my mind was expanding
into knowledge day by day. How did
strain over the problem OF the fox and
the goose and the bag OF corn. And
there was the elephant puzzle, where
an old man died leaving eighteen ele-
plants to his three sons-one to have
half OF them, another one-third OF them
and the other one.ninth. But before
seventeen wouldent divide even at all.
So they consulted wise old nabor
who had but one elephant He gener.
Ously drove his one Into the herd OF
seventeen and then divided them, Civ
Ing to one OF the boys nine, to another
six and to the other two. This took
but seventeen, and 80 he drove his
own elphant back home again. How
is that? Wasent he q smart old fellow
to satisfy the boys and save his ele.
phant?
But by and by these school children
advance In their teens and begin to
choose sweethearts, and the boys brush
their hair more carefully and the girls
cast glancea that are shy and sly and
read poetry and mark the loving pas
sages, and flowers grow lovelier and
the birds sing sweeter and the world
grows brighter, and the days Of loves
young dream have come. Delightful
days, delicious memories-even an old
man loves to revel in them. No won
der the poets wrote 80 tenderly Of love
and the novelists made it the chief sub.
ject OF their story. ] was Illuminating
the other day about compiling and
publishing bOok--a little book that
could be sold for less than a dollar, a
book OF gems-poetic gems by the best
authors, and urging every parent to
buy 1t for the children, for it would
help to mould and refine their charac.
ters and give them pleasure and COM
fort all their lives. My good father en-
couraged me to commit to memory some
OF the sweetest poems that were evor
written. | can repeat The Hermit {"
now, and "Gray's Elegy" and Gen-
evieve" and "Byron's Address to the
Ocean" and Hohenlinden," and such
as these were an inspiration to mo as [
grew to manhood" II were teaching
school l would have the boys and girls
to recite them. What book of gems
could be made OF selections from the old
authors, such poems as have not becn
written In fifty years and could not be
written now. What poet could ap-
proach such beauty OF language and
sentiment as that verse from Gray
Full many gem OF purest ray serene
The, dark unfathomed caves of ocean
bear
Full many flower is born to blush un-
And waste it's sweetness on the desert
air."
or those two verses from Goldsmith
beginning,
And what is friendship but name,
charm that lulls to Sleep
or his sad Marning to the weako- sex
When lovely woman stoops to folly
And learns too late that m en- betray,
What art can soothe her melancholy,
What charm can drive her grief away;
The only art her grief can smother
And stifle every burning sigh
And bring repentance to her lover
And wiring his bosom-is to die"
Then there ia Tom Hood,s GO SONG NJ