The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-01-07
STORIES FRO[n THE C0TIlEDY Of LIFE
How Member the Reportorial Staff of Daily Paper
"Queered" His Assignment.

You understand that this interview
will be published In the morning?''
Eyes, and don't spare Fettersham's feel
ings. Feelings! He hasn't got any. I'd
just like to see him crlnge when he sees
the truth in cold print Let me see, you
said you were on the Chinook, didn't
you?"
''Yes'm."
Give it to him where the chicken got
the ak, young man.. That widow l. pton
will sing small when she sees his record
written up right from the kick off. Have
cigar. They are some Fettersham for.
got when he was bounced by the court,
and 1 brought EN- here to give away to
people. Good evening"
Outside the house Mr.. Biles boarded a
car for Fettersham's abode. He was In
great luck to find the gentleman at home.
and was received cordially. Mr.. Biles
explained his mission. and Mr.. Fetter-
| sham consented to endure the pumping
process.
But you won't get much of a story
out of me. my boy he said. land for
this reason. have always made 1t a rule
Of my life never to say anything against
a woman. Now, then, fire away"
"Well-ah-I have just come from an
interview with Mrs. F'ettersham-that IS,
Mrs. Grassyknoll that is now
"Ah. indeed!"
eyes,
"Yes?"
Eyes She-ah-she is not quite so ret
icent on the subject of your-or her-di-
vorce."
Talked quite freely. eh?"
Quite So''
What did she say?"
Il don't know that 1t would be fair to
tell you, but the whole interview will be
published in tomorrows Chinook. 1t was
for that reason that I called on you to
give you as fair a show as was afforded
Mrs. Feter-Grassyknoll."
You are very kind.
She says you are a hard drinker"
'Never was drunk in my life and have
not tasted a drop Of anything In thirteen
years"
You appear, Mr.. Fettersham, to be
gentleman In every respect, but Mrs Fet-
tergrAss-Mrs. Grassyknoll-says you are
very brutal In your treatment of animals
ane small people. Says you are violent"
Indeed. Do look it?"
You certainly do not She also accuses
you Of having induced her to mortgage
her house and lot and then stole the
money"
Says I stole money!"
Yes. and that you made her write
home for money to live on"
Have you ever seen the court record,
young MANI"
mo; everything was suppressed"
"Of course you don't want to get your
paper into trouble
"Oh no, SIR
do you know that I am now paying
her S1OO month alimony?'
II certainly do not But she said you
were expanding considerable money on a
certain Widow Lpton"
Never heard Of Widow Upton In my
life. See here, young man, where does
Mrs. Grassyknoll reside at PRESENT."
Mr.. Biles promptly Informed him.
Would you have any objections to &C
companying me to the place, merely as
witness?'
ST will go with you It is still early
In the evening"
The two men took return car and
were soon in the presence of Mrs. Grassy
knoll.
"Oh, the cat came back, eh?" said the
stately lady, looking over the head of Mr.
Biles and addressing Mr.. Fettersham.
Madam" said the latter, this young
man tells me that you have made some
rather serious charges against my per-
sonal character"
'oh. he's coughed everything UP, has
hep inquired the lady. Couldn't wait to
sting"
But you are certainly aware of the fact
that the major portion of the story, I will
compromise, madam. on the major por-
ton, was totally untrue"
Possibly it was exaggerated a tr!he."
"A tr1f1e! Did I ever steal anything,
drink anything or f1irt with any one by
the name Of Lipton?"
But you might have done all these
things
might have done them! Is it not true
| that you gained your divorce by my de-
fault in not making an answer to your
bill Of particulars?"
Yes, that Is true. But think what
1 might have proved In court in case
the-the-the thing had come to a show
down."
'Helen-"
Charlie"
] II mean, madam. you are well aware