davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07
A HUSBANDS LITTLE PLAN.


II Amuseg HIS VIE, ana IL DOeeAV
Hurt Him mt All.
st can't imagine why so many married
people quarrel about money, said
man yesterday who was telling his Sc
crets, as men will do, on a trolley car.
MY wife and l never have a disagree
ment over funds, and while the plan we
pursue is my invention, it's not copy.
righted, so perhaps it may help you.
This is the way it works: When l Pc
ceive my salary, take out about 81 aid
hand the remainder directly over to MY
wife.
There, my DEAR say. it will take
about one-fourth of that to pay our bills.
The rest is yours, and have so much
confidence in your judgment and discre-
ton that l know it will be expended
wisely
AT first she was a little fustered al
this mark of confidence, but now she
takes it more calmly.
About the next day I go to her and
say: 4 find l am little short, Nan.
Could you let me have So? I'll pay il
back next week
"'Of course l can, and you shan't pay
it back at ALL she cries Indignantly. The
moneys yours
"'Nonsense.' say, with stern air Of
probity. 4 gave it to you; therefore it's
yours. II you don't allow me to pay il
back I'll never borrow from you again.
Every well.' she meekly acquiesces,
and the matter drops, never to be re-
opened. During the week make two OF
three more touches until I'm afraid
spend the larger share Of the surplus.
You can't imagine how this method
pleases even as intelligent woman as
my wife. Why, just the other day I
heard her telling Mrs. Smith that she
handled every bit Of our money, and
when that imaginative lady reported il
among our friends that my wife doled
out my car fare and lunch money to me
every morning and that was all of my
salary I was allowed to spend. Nan heard
the rumor and came to me with the most
contrite little face you ever saw to ask il
I was sure l had all the lucre I wanted.
1t made me feel a good deal like dog.
but the plans a good one. just the same"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07

down to nothing, and instead of three
square meals day he began to fill up
vacancies by eating his own stock-5
cents worth of candy for breakfast and
a smoke for dinner. Besides that, Long
Shorty. one of our special brand of
toughs. thought that the man on the
bridge was having more than his share Of
prosperity. One morning. late in Deem
Der, Long Shorty put two heavy timbers
across the river behind the man on the
bridge and began to build a house on
them beams. He planked over his floor,
set up his frame of scantling and began
to fill in the walls, then went to the city
council and told them that he intended,
at his own expense. to lay down an extra
sidewalk to cover the space over the riv-
er between the bridge and his new saloon.
Or course that meant sweeping away
the man ON the bridge, shanty and all, by
permission of the city authorities, so
sent one of my deputy marshals to see
how the Britishcr felt.
"Oh. that's all right" says the man on
the bridge. Long Shorty rests one end
of his bridge timbers on railroad land
and the other end on private house prop
eriy. If get his timbers sawed off at
both ends. the gentleman will have to
swing his saloon with ropes"
What from?"
1.-THE Clouds" says the Britisher, and
gave my deputy a cigar.
Now. if that y0ungster had kicked up
fuss. and gone after Long Shorty with
a gun. I'd have let them worry it out be-
tween themselves, but the man on the
bridge, although only an alien and ten
derfoOt with nothing To live on but his
nstiv" grit, WAS the only law abiding in
habitant in my district So | went to
Dan McPhail and says |. Dan. | guess
I'm going TO have my spring cleaning"
Good gracious" says Dan, so we set
to work making out list Of the proposed
exilcs, gamblers. huns. crooks. ETC.. who
would never be missed from Amber, to
the number of %. We called a session
of tho vigilance committee. posted
gnard around my little calaboose and ran
in the gentlemen one by one, until we had
n full house Then we started the whole
bunch-25 head-and herded them with
stock whips and chunks of ice through
the streets toe the municipal boundary,
where we turned them loose with re-
mark that the world was all before them
where 20 choose One or two who OBJ
jrcted we chncked into the river to cool
off. but for tn" most part they went like
lambs including Long Shorty. who I'M
derstood that I'd plug him full of holes
if he ever showed his ugly mug in Am
Der Gulrh.
Going back into town | interviewed
the man on the bridge who had stuck up
a crazy poster suggesting a necktie social
or lynching bee. which was officious of
him and might lead to harm.
Take that down." said l, wondering
if he'd thank me for running his enemy
out of the country-but not a bit of it.
"All right" says the man on the bridge
curse his check! 81 see that the people
has risen in its might for vengeance on
the evild"crs. Where did you hide?-
London Black and White.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07
THE SECOND LOVE.

''Ssme day, when am gone she used to say.
you'll bring another here to take my place
And VOW you never loved me anyway,
And she'll be young and have pretty face.
And all that l, alas have helped you save
Will only be for her enjoyment then,
And you will be her foolish, willing slave,
. The unsuspectng Jest of other men!''
He heard her doleful plant and labored on.
She used to kiss their little one and sigh:
"What griefs will come to you when am gonel
All, but for you would not fear to diel
Poor little one, how can l leave you here
To be abused when am gone above
To hear your father call another Dear
And zee him give another all his loveP'
A little mound is green upon the hill,
And thrice the winters SHOWS have drifted Their
Above one who is lying cold and still.
Dumb to the petty griefs that people share.
Another has the key that opes his door;
All that he earned another shares today;
The child he worshiped misses him no more,
And there is much the gossips have to say.
S. E. Kiser in Chicago Times Herald.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07

A curious case of literary vandalism is
recorded among the curiosities- of the
British museum reading room. The pro-
tagonist was a man who hated Coleridge
In the library is a collection of books
that once belonged to Coleridge. They
contained an immense quantity OF
pencil notes in the poets hand. 1t was
the self imposed task of this particular
reader to go through each day few OF
these books and rub out the notes.
Could any revenge on society be more
complete in IT'S simple way? Was ever
the work of vandalism carried out after a
more Quietistic fashion? Now. if any
one has occasion to go into this inner
library to consult book he will be
watched. very unostentatiously. but eff
fectively. The man who dealt with the
Coleridge notes was the unintentional
first cause of this espionage.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07

There are many fine epigrams and
proverbs in Spanish. Many of them can
not he translated so as to preserve the
tersencss and aptness of the original
Following are a few of long list printed
by Modern Mexico which are frequently
heard in the sister republic: 'Hr who
never ventures will never cross the sea-
There's no gain without pain" File:
cannot enter closed mouth" "Echind
the cross is the devil" "A cat in gloves
will never caf,.i. rats" ITO thc hungry
no bread is dry" "A book thar is shut
makes no scholar" "'rhr good lnnudrcSs
washes the shirt ii.st." IN" evil viii
endure Il hundred wears" When the
river is pasSe, the saint is forgotten"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07

In the personal Recollections Of Suth.
erland Edwards" English music critic. is
an amusing story abont Cruikshank.
who had become violent teetotaler in
his old age. One day Cruikshank seized
a man who was trying to pick his pocket
and. not content with giving him in
charge. administered to him lecture on
the evils of intcmperancc.
~ feel sure" he said. that You have
been dcmoraiiZed and ruined by the love
of drink. |. on the other hand. have not
touched drop Of Intoxicating liquor for
the last % years"
What" cried the Mortified prisoner.
"I'vc let myself he took hy Il tectotaler?
Why. if I'd known you was a water
drinkcr I'd have knocked your bloomin
head off"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07

"No. Sweet girl graduate is q sore exc
preston for me-"
"Why should it be-"
''The sweetest one Of them I ever saw
was my landlady's daughter. She used
TO collect the board bills. Temper! The
late Mrs. Xantippe was an angel COM
pared to her. And sarcasm! That girls
tongue would make q man want to hus-
tie off somewhere and pawn his only suit
of clothes. She never had any sympathy
for man. Shed have taken the very
socks his mother knit him for board.
And yet you never saw a sweeter high
school graduate than she was. And
what do you suppose the subject of her
essay WASP"
"Well. what"
""The Sweetness, Gentleness and
Broad Charity of True WomanhOod! w.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07

A Yorkshire man who had scoding
wife met mate ono morning who lOo6-
ed rather sad and asked him what was
the matter. The other said. I've lost my
old misSus."
To this the former replied. ''I'll swop
my wick nm for your dead I'm and pay
4 funeral expenses too" Mole Book OF
Bishop How of England"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07
Sarcastic.

A French journal reports certain nm
popular and tiresomc author as saying to
mn acquaintance:
81 should like to do somcthin" which
no one has ever don" before and which
no one will ever do again"
Easy rnough." said the acquaintance
"Rut what shall | do"
"Write a favorable notice of one Of
Jr,lr books"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07

After consciousness returned the doctor
said to him. "Mr. Poe. you are extreme
~ weak: pulse very low: ! will give you
a glass OF today"
He answered. "Sir. II thought its po-
tency would transport me to the Elysian
bowers Of the undiscovered spirit world
would not take it."--Sartain's "Remi-
niscences Of an Old Man"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07

Lawyar-Nr!l. madam. LEI Us under
stand each other What do yon want :.
divorce for?
Fair Cli"nt-Can ged one vor abouC
&lI-ChicaEo Tribune p
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07
Fishing, Grabbing, Rowing and
Sailing,
otter Point, Bush River, One MILE
Below Abingdon, Bush River.

Having I'VE haul d all of my
Boats am prepared to accommO-
date Fishing and Sailing Parties
of any number.
Lines, BAIT, &c.. always ready, and expert
fenced trusty men. who know the fishing
grounds. to accompany parties. rites nt six
or more, 25 cents per head. Less than six. FOR
sail boat and man, 200 rer day Trot Line
and Bait, 81 extra. Row Boat, 30 cents per
da,. FishInR Lines and Rnds rec If charpe.
rabs cooked on the shore without extra
Charge.
L'rge uarties will rlease let me know In ad-
vance of their arrival. so that i may have
ev, rytbing read for them.
Parties wrnrnR Fish Dinner or Supper can
lie upp'ie" 1T so cents each, by giving u day +
p-eYtnIIs no'ice
-sw-The Stphm LA'rpch America" fer par
tbs OF Iweivc or ess, 81 per day; over thar So
JOHN p Light.
Abingdon 2. O.. Hartford U0., Md.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07
Poetry as a safety valve.

Verses fulfill highly important func-
ton in the prevention Of nervous strain.
The use of pen, ink and paper blows OF
the mental steam. -nr. Andrew Wilson
in ';Mind ar1 p, T."
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07

Asia Minor was the CHIEF opium mar
ket until the twelfth century, and from
then on it was gradually distributed all
over the globe. The Chinese obtainso
the drug in the thirteenth century. =
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07
NECTAR.

In 4 golden bowl brew
Leaf Of rose and violet dew,
And the essences of things
Natal to Pierian springs
(Bird song. brook song. breeze a-blowN
Sweets that in dream gardens grow;
Spray that lcaped the harbor bar
Amorous of the twilight star;
Bubbles of delight that float
From a seraph's liquid note;
Bloom from joys low bending bougk
Cupid. drop a kiss-and now,
Sweetheart, here's health to thee;
Drink the draft. sweetheart, with me!
Clarence Urmy in East and West.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07
The Eais and lntsllieencer
10 Published Every Friday.
AFINNEY s. DASHIELL.
srERMs.-sl.oo A Year in adv.no &c

Transtent AdusrtSsen,e nts.-One Square, 3
Insertions or less $1.50. Each subsequent In
sertion % cents. Longer advertisements IN
the same proportion. space equal to six
lines makes a square. Figure work double
price.
Obituaries and Personal Communications
will be inserted at 10 cents per line.
Yearly Advertisements at Specie, Rates.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-09-07
SuhscliDtiDn Books 0Dened.

At Il meeting of the Directors of the Bel All
and Havre de Grace En- ctrc Railway and
Power Company, held ut Havre de Grace, May
scription to the Capital Stock of said com pany
he opened to the public at the Off "a of Noble
l.. Mitchell, in Rel Air, and ut the FIRST Nniinna
tank Of Havre de Grace. on June Is. 1900, III
10 a. NJ. The par value of the stock will be
twenty five dollars, $50 per share.
By order of the Board.
w. BEATTY HARLAN,
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1900-04-12
GREAT BOER VICTORY
General Dtwet Deal q Decisive Blow
TO the British.
SIX HUNDRED SLAIN.
Captured Nine Hundred British With
Twelve Wagons aud That too
With Slight Los plumor
also Badly Whipped.

london. April ia dispatch to The
Dlly Mail from Baudfort, dated Sun.
day says:
Yesterday General Dawct inflicted
the third defeat of the British within a
week at Moorhat-iontein, killing and
wounding CO. Hc capiurdgl with l2
wagon-, losing dy1 Blcrs killed and nino
wounded"
Tho Daily News has the following
from Pretoria, dated Monday. ~ way
Of Dslaga Bay:
III Is ON inlly announced that a bat
tlc ha, been fought south ~ Brandfort.
Ia which coo British troops wcro killed
and wounded and $40 takon prisoners.
Tho Daily Mail publishc, the follow
ing dated April 10 trom Lorcnzo Mar.
qurE
"The Ncihcrland Railway company
prDtc,,os % have rcroiycd o telegram
reporting a Boor victory nur Kruou.
stadt. the Bucrs capturing rO0 British. %
Commenting on this the Daily Mail
remarks:
There j. MccrI,ltinntcin alcut hvo
and half miles southeast pf Krcpnstad,
hut % the rcIprt be- true, tins c.,n hardly
bc the place.
Saturday, fight nclr Nafoiing WINS
conducted on C0luucl Plumrr's side
under great difficulties. being IN tho
proximity Of the ipr anrer. whence
rcuiorccnont. cuuld b. promptly sont
20 tAc burgticrs and thcp was little
cover available f1r the Brtrh when tho
fight bcrnu tho plain beinglmt .par,ely
wuuded, aud the milway culanlmcnt.
th" chicf protection. beug uuly two fcct
high. Tho men behaved calamity how.
evcg. and the officers wcro mcxrcmiGn.
ally clnspicuOu, in the affair
With the vxrup,un of % few ruguds
lrod bv % British Maxim gun at Bana.
nhltbuma. thc ur n bDih sides was un.
iirgly by rifles Hall Of the British ul.
hcaV wcro moro or lss seriously
wounded
Colonel p'nWrr wound wa, in his
right auu. llt. hurr vaa shot Colonel
Bullr lud Cuum EH, wcrn wounded
CaInnsl rumer, mdrrly IS missing.
Sergeant ihlar Manning of thr Fifth
daguu uuuls. who tlt upile duti.,
OF mlpt'y. did r.t l.Ht work
G.ufl.u rrHr t-..v.. Mia shot HaIT
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1900-04-12

Tyler Tex. Apl ll.-A diastrou,
wreck occurred on the international aut
Great Northern railroad here iu which
ihe i.rmm. j. J. Lyons. WIS instantly
killed. Ho was buried several feet IN
ihe cual from the engine tondcr and it
took over three hour ~ hard labor 20
recover fhc hody Engineer b. H. E,k.
Uman's beg was broken iu two oascs.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1900-04-12


IHdylnith. April iO - The Beers open.
ell fire ihi- morning early. sending she'll.
into thg British camp at Elaudsiaagte
from Positions widely srmmicd. The
SHELL dld no damage Tir iupp> moved
out % nconuoiier aud found the Boer.
In strong force and wril fortified. One
naval 90 inch gun replied 20 the Beers
who have again placed a "LOng Tom
In position.
When the Eoers commenced sholling
the British they were drilling aud one
private was killed and another wounded
lbslurc Che soldier, c1um ho Withdrawn
irmu uugo. Then the naval brigade
'orened iira and drew q hoaV Blnr fusil.
ade auI two of thc cui = pniIpmel' (,
gunner wore killed. The naval men
stuck Oh thrir Positions however. and
the Btr unmn,ked .iN epu.. including
% llIu.lnder nud shell. ir.l all over the
British mmp, After a thrfr hour,
bnmmrlmout the british frr ,Llrkcn-i
nnl tuc hIrg.sr, cleared irm Che kopIr
on tAa night when British shells lit on
the sll' occupied hv their gan.
Another command wa, seen moving
toward thr British loit apparently with
on intention OF aanaug fhom but But.
ish shells forced them % retire British
advance picket, continually ,nired, but
few casualties have been reported In
the afternoon the naval brigade again
fired iaw shells &, o. Wuoud q hldy
Of Bpers are gathered southwest ol
Elandslngtc with thr apparent intrn-
tion % cutting the British lines of c0in.
muuiaiion. General Glory dIrectrd
tudays operations Gcucml Euler
visited E.andslaagto
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1900-04-12

Ottnmwa. Ia April O Andrew New
man. a prosperous farmer residing IL
Clarke county. Missouri. committed sui
eide hv drowning His BODY was lying
face downward In a pond ou his farm .in
which fhe water was only lG uchc,
dccp Dependency over illhoalth d
HScubcd as the ousp fur thc deed.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1900-04-12

United states Iury came VIA tr..
Cruz A few weeks ago the first party
~ 33 were admitted here and other.
were then expccted 20 follow u is be-
heved the rigid inspection on the Atlantic
coast sent them this way They are
going % Oklahoma.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1900-04-12

f'ii remains a. bu seen. though best m.
formed opinion here inrlincs 70 the b..
hei That the Bocr. are not likely 20 back
up their protest with action that would
buns them into hosiiliiics with still an.
other power.
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1900-04-12

LondHn, April O The BERLIN CORE.
spnndcut of the Duly Sew. assert, that
the l'sichmann. who Is credited with
having iri ihe H'er. a. koruprri l..
certainly the American military attalhe.
Captain Carl i,ricumunu
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1900-04-12

Ahwnl North. April 1.-THE British
ln-, lr No" fighting no Wrpourr Tuesday
w1. DO killed aud % wounded Fghung
wu- resumed to-day The British anu
An..linr their own well
Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1900-04-12

Eru>pl, April il.-Dr L.yds has
LEFT lirus-nl, ~ confer with tho B.,ef
peace commits, s,lnncrs
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1900-03-02
Complimentary Card Party.

Miss Eva James entertained her
married lady friends with a delightful
card party Tuesday afternoon. 1t was
indeed delicate and pretty way to
show her appreciation of he many favors
which these friends have heaped upon
her since her debut into society, and
the execution was as beautiful as the
Thought was kind and lovely. The first
breath of spring seemed waited to us in
the southern datfodils and ianquils with
which the sitting room was decorated,
while the stately American Beauty
blended its fragrance with that of the
modest hyacinth and violet in the dining
room. Graceful vines aud handsome
candelahrae added 10 the scene, and
electric lights served to bring out the
full beauty of all. An interesting game
OF euchre was played in the two rooms,
Mrs. Rockwell winning the prize, a
superb bunch of pink and white roses.
A delicious menu Of two courses was
served after the game. The following
ladies were present: Mrs. r. G.. Spar
row. NIrs. ". z. Morgan, Mrs. Joe Whit
tborne. Mrs. John Ruhm, Jr., Of Mt.
Pleasant. Mrs. John W. Frierson, Jr.,
Mn. A. z. Morgan, Ms. Alex Titcomb.
Ms. Chas. Parker, Mrs. James Ded-
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1900-03-02
& OAKES,-
Professional Undertakers
and Embalmers.

We carry everything our line o
business calls for, whether it be the
most expensive or more modest in
its cost.
Our stock is bought to accommo-
date those in distress, and our prices
are neither for the rich nor the poor,
but to suit the occasion-for those
favored of fortune, or tor the humble
home where cruel Death has made
his always unwelcome visit.
Our business motto is to do as we
would be done by" and to CoNsoI-
ENTIoUsLY discharge ALI. sacred
trusts committed to our care.
Whether night or day, telephone
calls will be promptly attended to.
Office, Citizens Telephone No. 1870.
A. BARR, Residence,
Bell Telephone 333.
JOHN A. CAKES, Residence,
Citizens Telephone No. %.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1900-03-02
Attention. Farm 1rS!

This is the month you want to buy
the largest portions of your Field Seed.
And don't forget that we are headquar-
ters for everything in the fed seed line.
See our Glover, Timothy, Blue Grass,
Orchard Grass, Red Top, Burt Oats,
etc, before buying elsewhere, and we
are satisfied that when you see tn grade
of our field seed we will sell you We
also have full and complete line of
groceries, which we sell cheap. All Or
ders for field seed or groceries receive
prompt attention.
Pell Phone 307 Citizens Phone 107
FrierS0n n Embry.
Cakes Building, Cor. 9Th & S. Main SITS.
Ash Shingles,
Good stock Of white ash shingles.
j. p. STREET g. Co. If