The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-02-11


my feet l might
First Usher: If The old gentleman's
collar looks like that during the cere-
mony it'll break up the church Left, left,
LETT
Third Usher: That's what'you get for
not wearing them attached Did you
hear the old chap objecting to our turn
ing up our trousers? l guess he thought
he was running this thing.
Fourth Usher: He made Tom turn his
down, but Tom turned them up again.
The old man didn't know, you know
First Usher: Just the kind Of a man
that would wear collar buttons-isn't he ?
Left, left. left Get in the game, fellows,
and look pleasant. We're near there.
The music stops. There is a fiutter
and then a silence
The Clergyman.
This man and this woman having come
As a proof of how closely the domestic
problem touches the sensibilities of those
most nearly concerned in its workings l
may say that no other theme, says Ma
rion Harland in the Pittsburg Dispatch,
had drawn 10 my desk so many letters.
A significant circumstance in this con-
nection is that these letters are, without
exception, from the pens of educated peo-
pie who know how to think and how to
express their views In good, nervous Eng
Hsh. The first is from a woman. 1t be-
gins judicially and wakes warm and spicy
under her clever fingers. l quote but a
few sentences
"At present the attitude of employer
and employe seems to be one of armed
neutrality. May l ask you to make an
appeal to the servants? ! do not recall
that l have ever seen this done. Entreat
them not to make us regard them as
necessary evils-not to be servants; to dig
nifty their calling. Increase their seIf-re-
spect and remove the odium that rests
upon the larger part of them"
After forty years of active housewifery
in this, and in other lands, l may claim
the right to put oh record the confident
statement that consideration for the COM
fort of the servant" pays in more ways
than one. If | were sure that ingratl-
tude would always follow the consistent
practice of kind words and kind actions
toward those in my employ, the fact of
my duty to be human and considerate
would not be altered. Gentlehood and
Christianity constrain me never to speak
ansrily to an inferior who cannot IAN
swer back without impertinence To
scold servant is always, and everywhere
mean and vulgar. Mean, for the reason
l gave just now, for the reason that you
my fellow housewife, forbid your boy to
fight a smaller playmate. 1t signifies moth
ing that your maid is yirago who thinks
herself your equal. and says as much In
her fury You know better, and so, at
heart does she. Vulgar, nasmuch as you
consent to meet her ON equal grounds
when you fly into passion and quarrel
with her. If you would have your SER
want girl remember her place, see to it
that you do not forget yours, and, at the
same time. hers.
1t is impossible in this day of speaking
tubes, registers and portieres, for a wo-
man whose hearing is acute, not to catch
many words that are not meant for her
ears Such was the query addressed by
a new cook to a housemaid who had just
entered upon her sixth year of service
with me:
rs She" (the generic "SheO zone of
the kind as will give and take?"
THAT is, will handy invectives when the
blood OF both is up.)
"Indade, and she isn't! So you'd better
not try 1t on. Leastways" -refectively-
she's never give me a cross word. and l
Take it for granted she wouldn't take
one"
The speaker was a shrewd reasoner. 1
laid away her conclusion in a safe
place among other nuggets of homely wis
dom.
one of the most instructive domestic
object lessons and one of the funniest l
ever saw was brought about by the APP
peal of a young housekeeper from the I'M
comfortable insolence of cook, to the
youthful 'matron's mother, who lived
with her. The cook held the whiphand
by virtue of the circumstances that her
new month had still three weeks to run
If she were discharged on the spot she
would claim the months wages by an
iniqutous law which the cunning and I'M
principled wrest to the employers de-
struction and their own emolument. The
angry (or artfuD domestic actually fol-
lowed the alleged mistress into the sitting
room where the mother and l were seat
ed.
Mamma said the prosecuted creature.
eyes wide with trouble. can you get Mary
to take an order? She will not listen to
me-"
20 yes" began the referee placidly.
looking steadily into the face inhamed
with anger. Mary will listen to reason.
Probably. she. did not, quite. understand.
you'-dropping each word as If it were
an ice pellet, and setting a comma after
il. Mary" with studied gentleness. Il
think, you, did, not, quite get, Mrs. IS
meaning. She would like TO have you do
so and so, putting the order into the
simplest language, never taking her eyes
from the red face articulating distinctly
aud as pleasantly as If both were in the
best possible humor
I could hardly believe my senses when
I saw the termasant listen respectfully,
drop courtesy with a meek Eyes, men, 3"
and leave the room, subdued.
Part of the miracle was wrought by per-
sonal neutrality-suspicious. 1t was chiefly
the effect OF thorough self-command and
practical knowledge of human nature No
one is fit to give orders TO or to control
another who is not mistress of herself.
Many OF these reported burglarios." re-
marked Detective Lombard. to the De-
troit Free Press, the other evening are
peculiar affairs In many cases they are
the greatest fakes that ever happened
hut it is always hard to prove that and
we must take the facts as they are re-
ported and look solemn. / remember one
case that | was sent out to investigate
several years ago. A woman reported
that a burglar entered the house through
the window, pointed a revolver at her an
demanded her money, which her hus-
band had given her earlier in the day.
Il turned 10 the woman when / was
sent up to investigate the next day. and
asked her TO describe the burglar She