Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-07-22

1t takes ait least two and half hours'
10 go the round of eighteen holes Won
may know the patient has got If fairly
well developed In this disease the
player not infreQuently dispenses with
lne services OF a caddy, which renders
MIN additionally slow. A large por-
cion OF the time is unnecessarily con-
sumed In taking up his stance-though
20 mt upon a perfect stance is not
Always an easy matter. Some days il
comes at once; like poet, nascitur
non MT, but ON others alack. you can't
stand as you would like, do what you
may. This happens to the best of
players now and again, but to our poor
inends 1t recurs ait each tee shot, and,
In addition, at most of their shots be-
tween the tee and the hole itself.
n have tenderly watched them,
planting first the right foot in adj
vance then performing a complete
wolfe face, and putting the left foot
In front; afterwards taking up posi-
tion yard behind and even a yard in
front of the ball, and then beginning to
Waggle. Ye gods what a waggle IL
is. Sometimes the effect Of
all this waggling seems really to cause
the tiXation of the eye on the proper
spot for good, well hit shot: bus
more frequently the eye gets tired. is
thankful to remove itself at the cri-
Olcal moment, and bad shot is the re-
suit
As an additional means of delaying
the green, there Is well-known
symptom, namely, that of not being
able to make up the mind as to which
is the proper club to play a certain
shot through lie green.
t2) Mendacitis anarithmetica.-
This is very strange complaint and
is by no means confined to either sex.
Women. indeed, seem to posses it. even
in more marked degree than men. but
then, dear things! they never were good
at arithmetic. The chief observable
symptom is total suppression of the
sense of strict accuracy, coupled with
an absolute inability to make two and
two anything more than three. Some
wonderful scores have thus been
achieved not OF malice prepense, but
OF sheer want of memory 1t is also
popularity of such patients that
though in reality perfectly conversant
with the rules they are ready TO for
get them whenever it may be condu-
Give to the making OF a good score for
them to do so. They will even. in
playing through the green, not be too
particular as to removing twigs etc.
upon which their ball may be actually
lying, and if such removal cause the
ball to roll out of its position, even say
for six or eight inches, they will not be
concerned or even disposed to incur
the penalty provided for each Illegal
performance. II you do not catch
them in fiagrante delicto, nothing is
said; II you do, they invariably plead
ignorance of the rule, even though you
may have on many previous occasions
called their attention TO and explained
1t.
I'm bunkers, as a matter OF habit
and precaution, they invariably leave
the truth outside-indeed, have seen
them after having landed their tee-shot
in the bunker specially provided for
such players, emerge, almost triumph
antly therefrom, after about FIVE or six
minutes solid hard work, and heard
| them say. with beaming countenance.
| as If flushed with triumph, q or if in
! very gracious mood, 81 when you
1 know really that these figures represent
! dozens and not units as they would
| have you believe. Finally, according
to their reckoning they may do the
hole--a DOGGY 6-in 5, and win II. as
| they think, from you; and when, as II
! by accident, you examine their ball,
point out at least 10 or IL separate and
| distinct mementoes of the niblick, and
remind them that the ball was a new
one at that tee, they frankly avow that
they cannot make that out. but perhaps
| il was 6 and not 5 after ALL"