West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1900-05-17
sALAMANpER vs.. eRuneE.
The Contro,ers, Grows More interest
tng and Warmer.


TO be anything ON, little scaly lizard. II
Ieould only be a had nigh, blow myself
up until would hook almost as large as
"Grudgc;' bn, then l would have TO DO
like 'Grudge," would be compelled to
do all the blowing myself. would like to
be large, bu, | never could gc, into the way
Of feeling large lie claims in his last
espis,le that he is doing as near right as he
can, but then the small boys say that he is a
United Bseihren preacher, and as yet he has
not been seen at Sabbaih-sehool OF at any
other church a, this place, except his own,
aud he seems to be very particular in pick.
iug has company and most always picks
company that no ono else would choose. |
do no, know how we'll he could fight devils,
hut anyone having his face would no, need
TO ieo' the most ferocious bloodhound in
existence. lie designaies me as large
lump II sin. aid says the more he rebukes
me the higher kick aud the less sense |
have. Well. I acknowledge to be little
dull Of apprehension OF otherwise nigh,
have given him more room to kick. II
seems as though there were elder men who
sized up racketS before did and they have
also used more severe criticisms than me
aud my noted gang. ON one occasion
minister aud class leader cencured me ON
account of seeing conspicuous member of
"Grnbs' family at the door of my place of
business, ia dark hour and by dark
house, hut was not in | may have been
out in the country "looking in a, some ones
window, but could no, convince them of
the fact, since they seemed to think that the
party and myself were previously in. not
outer darkness, but inner darkness. am
glad TO state that I was not there, since
horrible wretch as am, am not as hard
up for company as "Grudge" and his
family seems to be. lie seems to be worried
about my name, but am not an angel and
would hate to Try TO pass off MS criterion
aud have as bad name to follow me ms
that which follows him. lie is wonderfully
alert when It comes to using the personal
pronouns and always uses the big | and the
little u, like all shallow-minded people do.
and when it comes TO getting information,
he consults characters who are as ignorant
and as receptions as himself. II he were
seeking the truth he would go to truthful
people and find it, yet he seems to Ice a
little worried for fear he will get a truthful
revelation. consequently he cherishes the
careless use Of truthful assertions rather
than to use il right. lie says tina, "no
o'heer has ever come into his dwelling" but
we would remind him that the Bishops have
often been there and other bg-bups have
been SO numerous that the common pcople
have abou, all ceased to go to see him.
which often causes him to have the 6qets
when he misirusls the presence Of the rep.
tiles that he speaks of. lie claims that
do not understand plain english, but that
might understand spiritual rappings, but
always take il for granted that they are not
intended Tor me hut for the other fellow,
especially when they are made by
the good spirits C2) with whom am but
liule acquainted, and since my "noted
gang is near and dear to me, am not hard
up for company at all hazards. He says
he judges right aud perhaps that sometimes
he docs, and that may be the reason that he
always gives evidence Of tired feeling that
makes one go around like dronc, just like
he says guilty dog ought to 60.
lie claims that should be pitied on ac
coun, Of my ignorance. Well can boast
Of more ignorance than anything else, yet
can heartily sympa,hize with "Crudge" be-
cause he does not seem TO utilize any more
Intelligence than a water Drained infant.
Since do not claim to be coodie, he can
cast all the mud at me that he wishes, for
unlike him. ! would rather the good people
would think that | am little worse than
really am, for when Lueifer gathers In his
goats, may then have a chance To knock
out all opposing "Grudges." may look
little small to light savant o. but one who IS
three times armed by having the fight lust.
can stand before both the fostercd king and
his henchmcn. The scriptures designate
false teacher as the blind leading the blind.
ana since drudge" makes so many blum
ders with no one who can see TO helm him.
can always dodge him and be ON Inc safe
side. The scriptures also designate false
teachers as 'dumb dogs who cannot bark.
sleeping, lying down, loving 10 slumber
yea they are greedy dogs, each one seeking
MS own gain from his own corner. They
are shepherds that can not understand. .
How does this shoe TIT Mr.. "Grudgc ?" As
yet Grub has never gained anything more
than little notoncty, such as an ipnoramus
or Judas Iscarriot has gained. Like ali
ignoramuscs and bypocriies he loves 10
boast Of being attentive to his prayer book
and OF praying while standing IN the syna-
gogue.
The one who looked in at the window
while passing along the road, was not old
King David, and 'Grudge" need NOT fear
the same fate Of Uriah because the war In
the Philippines is about over and pcrhaps no
one coyets his betier-half nor do they need
to climb 10 the housc-tOp 90 satisfy their
curiosity, when people come out on the
street. and manifest evidence that they should
bc in the asylum. II is but little wonder
that landlords often tunes find excuses for
not renting and lady evangelisis frequently
give subsequent warnings. lie need moi
trouble himself about tellirg the people that
J ana huge lump of sin, because as paui
once confessed, am chief Of sinners. and
do not blame others for the weakness Of
my spinal column, caused by carving the
huge burden. ] am neither hot nor Like
warm, therefore I will not be spcwcd up
like "Grudge" is sure 10 be.
"Gmdge' has one hcnchmen who is so
los, to nature that he seems % think that he
can tell unreasonable yarns % an intelligent
person aud have him To- believe them. lie
can hoOd0 small boys and Grub. " but he
often causes wink5 among the more intel.
ligent. Babel is fallen, Is fallen She has
become the habiiation of al least one con.
cciicd, un lean bird
True there was az one time an officer al