Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1900-08-04
Wanted No More Science


- % <<A0h - ANttrC - - NIX 4OI the
more humcrum but safer occupation
OF coal desler, Is a man with a conssd-
cradle sense of humor.
- c2n tell YOU n story about me
and Andy and Patsy Dslxngton that
isn't bad fun" he said TO me one DAY.
at was ike this Andy and me
often met at the Angel. In Brixton.
and one day we were together and
pretty hard up Well. in comes Patsy
fellow l never cared much for. al
though he and Andy chummed to-
gether. We saw he'd something on his
mind and thought he wanted me
gone. but Andy would make me stop
for 81. Patsy had been down near
Leatherheac. 10 see so1re friends. and
he thought he'd spotted a good thing.
Ever heard of Sir Miles Harold.
sdr2 Q. yea have Well. then. you
know that he was nearly a millionaire.
II rot quite. His father was a big con-
tractor. but Miles was one % them
scientific gents. always bothering
with chemicals and things OF that sort
Patsy came down with the news
iha; II was a pace worth cracking.
Sir Miles hs6 got some splendid gold
AID silver plate, and. as the house
wasn't well guarded. IL was an easy
Job.
You crack IL. then. Patsy ~ l.
I'm a biz superstitious about scientific
gents
Its as easy as winkiu'.' he ses.
The old fool thinks nothing but about
his piay;hings.'
Andy looked a. me and winked.
and then tod PATSY - dry Up while
him and me talked &; over. At las; We
decided that Andy should SO down and
have look al the Job hissc.f. and II Il
was az right we should go In partner
ship over il.
He went the next day. He was
there a cay or two and came back
quite enthusiasts. and we set 70 work
al once.
We hired a gree ngroccr's cart. with
q fast pony. 20 Go the Job with. Patsy
drove down 20 Leatherhesd. and Andy
and me went by train. Patsy was 70
look after the cart while Andy and me
got The sWag. bus the programme had
10 be altered. The morning we set out
! slipped on the wet pavement, and
came down on my arm Il WASN'T
my wrist was spraine6> and 1 ha6 10
be odd man out 'Stead Of Patsy.
+ drew up outside the house rs near
20 the grounds as ] could get. and my
chuus went on. IL was a capital night.
10 moon. bat starlight.
Patsy had marked . swing window
10 the isrder. and. being a Sim chap.
he wriEgied through and went round
20 the dining-room window and Jet
Andy in.
The best % the plate was kept 10 q
cabinet IN the diuinr-room- II ONLY
took Patsy q minute Or TWO 10 pick
the lock. and ANDY sucked In his
breath AZ the = sight inside. They were
busy storing Il IN the bag when sud
denly the room blazed with light
electric Light. % course-snd a Quies
voice said: Please put your HANDS
above your heads or ! must shoot
1t was such a knochtoWu surprise
that their hands went up almost by
1hense and they screwed rounf
their heads 10 see Sir MIles-a pale.
dream y-Iooking gent. with & big fore
heac-standing in a doorway with a
revolver covering them
Don't give me the trouble % shoot.
gentlemen; Il would make such
nasty mes on the carpet So be. Car
ruthers. bring me some cord
"A big young fellow stepped for
ward with a laUgh and began faszen-
Ing their hands and elbows together
after which he hobbled their feet
When they were trussed up Sir
Niles commanded them 10 follow him.
and they shufled along, With the
Young chap behind He led them into
the workshop and made them 81
down.
Very interesting capture. Caruth-
ers.' said Sir Miles Burglary
Yes. SIR rs Carruthers.
-'You az not very intelligent mem
bers OF your profession he So 20
Andy and Pat, 'or you woule not have
come here Carruthers. oblige me BY
going outside and coming IN BY the
window a. these gerslemep did.
want 20 show them how stupic fney
were
Yes. sir he ses. and ~ went out.
and presently a bell close 10 them b.
gan ringing softly. He - geitinc
through the window now ses Sir
Miles AND this beFl'-poinsing 10 an
other-'rang when you opened the
cabinet You were exceedingly fool
ish.'
~-It you'I ct ~ go. sir So Andy.
speaking his polltest. s'we'I never be
foolish no more. You're TOO clever a
gent for as. sir
'Carrutbers.' ne ses when HIS man