davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
l. q 2.
Sixteen to One.

Three attractive women were going
up town on a-Madlson avenue car last
evening" when one noticed the head
line "16 to II in a newspaper she car
ried ~
What does .16 to l. mean. any
how" she chattered - 49, -
= "Why, it MEANS said the woman
next to her, "that sixteen silver dol
lars would be equal to one gold-that
is, mean. that it will take sixteen
ounces of silver to make a silver dol
lar" =. III
Then she blushed and looked con-
fused, and demure woman in blue
dress who sat beside her .endeavored
to. help her out of the. tangle in this
wise: AZ 81
What they want is to make a dol
lar out Of both metals, part silver ard
part gold. It is sixten parts Of silver
to one of gold. I've forgotten which,
They call it bimetallism."
This solution was more satisfactory
and the conversation. turned into
other channels.-New York Mail and
Express. - >. go, .~s.s:s:: -. ~
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
Story OF a, Club.

/ An ! extraordinary account comes
from lDevonshire, England, Of a club,
found in q muddy pool; that had evil
IDENTIFY pushed it's way when young in
TO a cage-like space formed by the
roots of tree, and being unable to
escape, had grown into the shape Of
its close-ftting prison. Lack Of room
had caused the tail to develop only to
the extent Of a little deformed stump.
The back fin also had vanished and
the whole fish had been distorted into
the gnarled and twisted form of the
root cage, being hideous in appear
.ance, yet seemingly strong and
healthy. It is difficult to imagine how
a fish could get food for years under
such conditions. q
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
!. WASN'T A. PROPOSAL
But the Girl Was Thankful for Her

But the Girl Was Thankful for Her
Escorts Private Hint.
"a New Orleans girl tells this on her
self: She went up to the inaugural
ball at Baton Rouge in a party. Fer
4dinand-we will consider him as such
was with them, the dear fellow who
has been mice" to her ever since she
came out. but who has never commit
ted himself. Beauty determined to
evoke something besides admiration
from him at this last event OF the sea-
son and in aid of that purpose carried
along choice organdie evening gown,
cut Just right, and as fresh as a new
blossom. They had waltzed turn or
two and We're moving toward her chap
eron, when Ferdinand leaned forward
her and murmured in that only-for-
you voice that will revive fiutters in
the heart Of divorces: May l tell
you something's" Beauty was on the
point of telling him that it was not
necessary-that she knew. felt, all he
would speak, but no girl wants to miss
the joy of a proposal, so she dropped
her head and tried to be brusque. III
you want to- she said. '.You are sure
you Won't minG?" he went on. II don't
think shan,' she murmured, giving
him the upward slant Of the eye that,
in tie lexicon of Irritation, means
but why explain? Just then mamma
signaled with her fan-for they had
begun to waltz again-and Beauty
murmured, 'Not now; Just wait till
we resume dancing and permitted
herself to be taken. to her mother.
you have left one of your curls up
in its paper, my dear" explained nam
ma, soto voce. "Put your head down
as If I were talking to you and I'll
take it out" Mamma wss very good
sort Ito notice that marring detail and
: the papillote episode was over in a mo
ment She Joined Ferdinand quietly,
as if nothing had happened. They
moved along quietly behind an avenue
of palms. "And now" she said, a world
Of emotion in, her voice. His eyes
melted over her. tsIt's all right now"
said he: s"your mother took it out. .
Beauty says the whole social season
has been a dead failure.-New Orleans
Times-Democrat. - - -
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
Engli.h-Made Mummy Cloth.

Sir William Bailey. head Of the well
known: Albion works, at Stafford, told a
good story the other day. A certain
Manchester merchant saw a mummy in
Egypt and brought away a portion Of
the mummy cloth. This was handed to
buyer of a large Manchester ware
house, who was asked if he could tell
where it was woven. After examining
1t carefully with his glass, he said he
thought he could put his finger on the
mill where it was produced If he could
borrow the piece for a few days. After
wards he reported that it was made
where he had thought, near Oldham.
Manchester men are known to be acute.
Liverpool Post.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
Patent-Leather Boots.

Nice patent leather makes the neat
est of footgear, but It requires care to
keep In order. There is no better
dressing for It than q very little salad
oil. Before wearing new pair of
patent leather boots It is expedient to.
well rub in a small quantity of salad
Oil and then polish with soft cloth.
This is to prevent the leather IRON
cracking, as It sometimes does Pat
emit leather should never be dried by
the fire. for heat has a way Of causing.
the leather to hard len and crack.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13

Earmarl1s of the Tonsorin1 Artist.
'Ts this tonsorial parlor?" asked
the hard-feat ured man. thrusting his
head inside the door. IT,
Eyes, sir" answered the man at the
first chair. "Come in. You're next"
II guess not. You'll want to know
what makes my hair SO harsh, and try
to get me to have it: singed, and you'll
want to part it in the middle, and
charge me IS cents. think I'll hunt a
barber shop. Good-day. '-Chicago Trib-
une. i" I'D.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13


1887
moved it to
folows 55.
1T With satisfaction that hnd
sh has troubled with
seemed than
the remedies z#
Penna'
benefit to and
RENE
he o.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
She WAS Suspicioua.

'You will find me very little trou.
ble,'' remarked the prospective tenant
to the woman who had furnished
apartments to let. "In fact, neve:
leave a place but what my landlady
sheds tears y - ~ !.
.'I'm glad you mentioned it, rejoin-
ed the knowing female, otherwise !
might possibly have neglected to men
ton that my terms are strictly cash
in advance ..ss: 4 s.s-. l.. T..
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
PLEAsANT PRosPEcr.

Nervous Spinster-Little boy, did
you ever kill any snakes here?
Nice Little Boy-No, mum. We
saves 'em for the boarders. You can
find 'em most anywhere. The grass is
full of 'em. go -.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
A Peaceful Exit.

s"Did you have any words with your
mistress, which caused you to leave
your last place" +:
"Niver a wor-rd, mum. Shure an OF
locked her in the bathroom, and TUX all
me things, and shipped out as quiet as
yez pIaze."-Harper's Bazaar.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
Inst Like q Man.

Mrs. Growells- "Oh, dear, feel mis-
cradle again this morning"
Mr.. Growels m glad to hear It..
dear" ~ ~. ., 5E #. .s.= SIS S.
Mrs. Growells What! Glad to hear
that I feel miserable %
Mr.. Growells .'Yes, for woman Is
never happy unless she is miserable
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
Grounds Tor Approximations.

=vsE@SIrOuMd0 LOT Appre6ems1On.@ss5 9EIz=
# Fred-Do you know that i am half
afraid to propose to Belle. the more I
think Of it.
Dick-Pshaw, man! Why are you
faint hearted?
5 Fred Because. from what she said
last night, have got an idea that she
viii decline to accept me.
Dick What did she say
She said was poem 8 --
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
Very Little Space

!. ''',1y parents may come between u.s."
she faltered. ~ .,-. i.
eff they do,' he replied, holly, they
must be pretty small. =
And he pressed her still closer to his
manly breas Record.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
Too Serious For : Joke.


You Americans. said the London.
Foung man, as he stopped sucking his
cane. are always lnsinuating that we
Englishmen don't know what real
Joke is. Now, just hold your sides
while I go over this one which ! read
in home paper a week ago:
The Countess ID Lore, you were
at the grand dinner last night, were
you not Just a while ago heard one
Of those vulgar Americans make the
remark that this morning you had a
big head.
1.-THE Duke But, mlady, there's
nothing il it.
ss5 The American looked as sober as a
criminal court Judge.
ssWell?" he asked. Z
Don't you see,' explained the dis
gusted Britisher, poking the other in
the ribs with his cane, "the Countess
says some one accused her companion;
(ha!) Of having big head Cha! ha!D
and he declares (p-ha! ha! there's
nothing in it,
Yes. but - ~
''Blarsted idiocy, but what 2"
Her companion was Duke y ~
Eyes y s5s
And not any different from the
rest of the English. nobility e.
mo. But the joke, the joke! 1t is
SO adroitly put. In apparent inadvert-
ence" desperately the Duke admits
there is nothing in his head! Now, do
you see?'
Well, it is a little strange that the
Duke could make such a frank and
candid admission, but-where does the
joke come in ?"-Brooklyn Life.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
Great Discovery.

"They say Necessity is the mother
of invention Halton'
Indeed it is. Our fiat was so small
that we were forced to have combina-
ton folding bed and ice box It's the
greatest thing out. Why, when / went
to bed those sultry nights thought
I was sleeping on an ice berg
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
Good Nautical Training.

The Commodo How do you ac-
count for your friend being such a
good sailor, Miss Price? ssa
Miss Price-Oh, she has been stay
ing at a summer resort where there
were two hammocks and four eligible
men,. Brooklyn Life.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
Cause and Enec,

SIS Il wonder why the swe1lers have quit
inviting us to their parties?
1T suppose it was because we always
went. Chicago Record.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13

Loss Of hair, which oftea mars the prettiest face
prevented BY PA1KHR's HAIR BALsAN.
HISDKRooxxs, the bent cure for corns. 15cts. q
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
one Tbtnp We E.c.ne q.

One Thing We Escape.
Towson-There's no use trying being
up-to-date in slang. "
s YOrkrode-Why?
+ Towson-There is no Chinese equiva-
lent for Observation-Disclosures American.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13

Woman came after man, and has
been after him ever since; but he
doesn't give her many hurdles.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13

am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption saved
my life three years ago.-Mrs. THos. ROBBINS,
Maple Street S1orwich, N. Y. Feb. II, 1900 81
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13

Defined.
I. Mrs. Jones This paper speaks OF q
lobbyist as though It was q term Of
Sreproach.
q Mrs Plagore OF course. a. lobby.
list, take it, is one Of those deceitful
men who sneak out between the acts
for drink, claiming that they are
merely going into the lobby Philad ell
#phia Press sBsS
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
Would Do the Right Thing.

Vicar (reproving the inebriated par
ishioner), What would you say If you
were.to see me Keeling down the road
in a state Of hopeless intoxication?
81 wouldn't tell a soul, SIR = +
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
Failing or In Attent lions.

Harry, you must try to pay some
thing on DR.. Pitzer's bill IT,. =
Why, has he said anything about
it s. So
IS No; but when / go there now he.
doesn't sympa thize with me at all. - ~
Indianapolis Journal.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13

The greatest truths are the simplest;
so are the greatest men.-Anon.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13

When cycling, take . bar OF Whites Yu-
catan. You can ride further and easier.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13

PUTNAM $FADELEss DYES are
fast to sunlight, washing and rubbing.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13

& Heat what age do you think a girl
should marry? She-When asked.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13

Carriers Ink Is Scientifically ~
compounded of the best materials II your
dealer doss not keep it he can get it for you.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
A Novel Letter.

II The following unique epistle was
found on a suburban street car re-
Gently: -.
Dear John-This is wrote you to
let you know how all the family is.
John, we're dom purity well now, if
do say it myself. Your Uncle Jim had
the good fortune to lose his left leg on
railroad and got damages and is now
liyin' with us and payin' board, which
is great help to u.s. Your brother
Bill fell in a cellar in Atlanta an
broke his collar bone, for which he got
$50 and invested it ina gray mule,
which was cheap at the price. Your
grandmother has been cured of the
rheumatism an is now able to do the
family washin', and altogether, John,
We are well off and mighty thankful to
Providence, which always provides. -
4 Atlanta Constitution.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
al One-sided Arranr,e.ment

1909 "A UMe-SIueu TTaMg 9ineM
IN this country we give up more In
tips to various persons than we lose by
burglars
y es, and we cant have the con-.
ISOLATION Of firing pistols OF at them
as they get away. Chicago News.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13

y Benefit Of Missing-Word Contests.
Dimyel-The banks are very helpful
to children. in my opinion. ~
Tharpe-First steps to composition,
SO to speak.
Dimley-Exactly; they leave out
important words for the children to
supply thus: Father says it is ------s
hot today brooklyn Life. '..
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
Alone in Her Glory.
!. Otterwise Occupied.

Clerical Tourist--Do people worship
at your little church p
Village Mighty few. Most Of
1 the men falls asleep an the women
spends their time lookin st each
others clothes. Brooklyn Life. vs.;
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
sample Of scottish Reticence.
a story. Illustrating the reticence
# the Scots is credited To Ian Maclar-

Sample Of Scottish Reticence.
A story. illustrating the reticence
OF the Scots is Scredited tq Ian Maclar-
en-.
a train was ct a station. when a
porter put his head into carriage
and called out: .sss
Any one for sDoun Change here
for Doun! Any one for Doun ~
No one moved, and in a few minutes
the train was speeding along, not to
stop again for nearly an hour
Then an old scotswoman turned to a
lady near her and said:
I'm for Doun. but I'd no tell that
man SO. = ~. 555
Society Notes. %SSzzss5
1da-'Its is a wonder they do not
leave the doings of high society out
of the papers occasionally. am SO
weary reading them. =
May-""Ditto, dear" HI ..2.z zz
Ida-.'Th hen you have been reading
about ,Astor in London?''
.=z May----....No,EI have been reading the
automobile news from Newport
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
M0ther-in-Lawless.

He" Darling, will you be my wife?"
She Ian heiress)-"Are you quite
sure you love me for myself alone?"
He-"Certainly. Didn't you tell me
you were an orphan?'
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
just Two.

Brighton Hello, Burch. do you
hear Parker singing Just One Girl! - ~
j Burch he deuce you SAL! Why.
he told me this morning it was twI as. s =.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1900-10-13
The Point OF View.

The Point OF View. -, :
Viewed through an inverted glass,
Sometimes makes one see double:
Thus, four quarts of beer is apt
To make full peck of trouble.
The Grit-advocate., 1900-12-21
LADY OF BOokS,

Volumes


Volumes
One OF the most enthusiastic book
collectors among English ladies' is
Mrs. w. Hall Walker, whose beautiful
nome, the Gateacre grange, near Liv-
erpool. contains one of the most valu-
aoie libraries. In addition to rare
books picked up during her travels
throughout the world, and a friend
snip library, each book In which bears
an autograph, Mrs. Walker has the
most complete collection in the world
OF the relics and writings of the Sheri-
dan family, says the Philadelphia Led
ger. Her interest in these famous
Shertdans Is not purely literary one,
Tor she is the daughter of Algernon
Brinsley Sheridan of Frampton court,
Dorsetshire, and the great-great-
granddaughter of Richard Brinsley
Sheridan, author OF "The Rivals" Her
great-aunts were the beautiful Sheri-
dan sisters, famous in London as the
three graces-Helen, Lady Dufferin,
the Hon. Caroline Elizabeth Norton,
and Georgina, duchess OF Somerset,
granddaughter of the beautiful Eliza
beth Linley, whose portrait by Gains
borough justifies her great reputation.
Mrs. Walker is beautiful woman her
SELF and has inherited the wit talent
and the grace Of her famous ancestors.
On her mothers side she is the grand
daughter of John Lothrop Motley, the
author of The Rise of the Dutch Re-
public and. consequently the niece
Of Lady Harcourt.
The Grit-advocate., 1900-12-21
A Japanese woman's Loss.

My husband, Naomichi, went to Shi-
moharamura, Masudagori, Hida prov
ince, last night to see theatrical per-
formance there, and since that time he
has not returned to me, though it is
now past in the afternoon. very
much suspect that he is engaged in
his usual big spree at the seishuro
(teahouse), at the town above men
toned. Or it may be that he has
been kidnapped by the goblins Of the
Shichishu mountains. Or he may
have been drawn under water by the
water nymphs Of the Hida river. At
any rate, woman as l am, my heart Is
filled with great anxiety for his safety,
and I petition the authorities to take
immediate steps to recover for me my
lost husband.-Tokyo Times.
The Grit-advocate., 1900-12-21
The Now Lord Fairfax.

The new Lord Fairfax, the twelfth
of his line. is clerk in a banking
house in New York, and it is probable
that, like his uncle and his father be-
fore him, he will not use his title. The
latter gentleman was an M. D., and
though he lived the life of a gentleman
farmer. he was known to every one as
DR.. Fairfax" He never visited Eng
land and if he had one subject of pride
1t was not in his Scotch peerage, but
rather in the fact that George Wash
ington married into his family,
The Grit-advocate., 1900-12-21
SILK for Fishing Lines.

The production of what is known as
silk-worm gut for fishing lines is a
curious industry that has followed the
decline Of silk culture in the vicinity
Of Murcia, Spain. The grub is fed on
the usual mulberry leaves, but before
1t begins to spin is drowned in vine
gar, and the substance that wouln
have formed the cocoon Is drawn from
the body as thick silken thread. The
threads are treated with chemicals.
dried, put up in bundles of 100 and sold
along the Mediterranean.
The Grit-advocate., 1900-12-21
Deaths from Gun-shot Wounds.

Brig. Gen. George r. Sternberg, sur
geongeneral Of the army, has prepared
for insertion In his annual report some
interesting comments on comparisons
OF gun shot wounds received by Amer
lean soldiers in the Spanish American
and Philippine wars with wounds in
fiicted by the heavier bullets used In
the civil war The deduction drawn
from comparative records is that the
small caliber bullet of today is less
deadly than the old-time musket ball
The Grit-advocate., 1900-12-21

This is a true story Of a 17-year-old
GIRL, who suddenly leaped from poverty
to wealth through y will made by an
eccentric old man who made large
fortune in the butcher business and
then retired to Islip, N. Y. to enjoy
his ease. This good friend of the
beautiful heirsss, Miss Fannie L'Hom-
medieu. Of Islip, to whom he bequeath-
ed nearly one-half Of million OF dol
lars, was Mr.. Thomas E. Broadway,
the second husband of Miss Fannies
grandmother. He died in 1897, and
the will CASE has been in u.v >vurts
ever since.
More than seventy claimants ap-
peAred to contest the will, but at last
by tho decision of Judge Wilmot Miss
Fannie comes in possession of prop
srty worth 100000. She was always
The Grit-advocate., 1900-12-21
HE GAVE NOTICE.
EaglIsh Butler Felt Degraded by hA
Masters Ignorance.

Masters Ignorsncs.
Whether or not the famous sayint
is a true one. that mo man u . hero
to his valet" 1t is at least certain
that not all American social aspirants
can fulfll the ideals Of an English
butler. There is an American lady, .
great social favorite who has won the
confidence of dignified English butler
named Higgins. He has never been
in her employ, but he was at one time
in the service Of an acquaintance OF
hers, where he attracted her attention
whenever she called by addressing her
Is my lady" At length she correct
ed him, and he excused himself by al
leging a natural slip OF the tongue.
'Untingford," whom he had served IN
England. After a time he left his
place, and Lady 'Untingford's" dou-'
Bile did not see him for several years.
Then one day she and her husband.
who held a municipal Office, attended,
for reasons Of policy and gratitude.
large dinner given by wealthy but
come prominent through his public
benehcience. The dinner was mag
nificent, but the host was not at home
amid his elegance. His table manners
were extraordinary. He tucked his
napkin into his neck; he hopeiessly
mixed and misused the implements
laid out for the various courses; he
to ,.,ho int
glass and scrubbed it with the bit OF
lemon. OF course his guests ignored
these trifling errors. but there was ono
person present who did not Looking
up just as the innocent giver OF the
feast had done some especial violence
to etiquette, the lady beheld the as
tonished eye of Higgins fixed reproach-
fully upon his master. Then he saw
her, and his distress increased: he
knew she was accustomed to "igh
life," and would know just now ter
rible were the unfortunate mans mis-
takes. All through the long meal
Higgins kept glancing from his en-
ployer to her. with wrath, mortifca-
ton and entreaty in his look. Hab'
uAAeeIJ was plIeouS. lie lduJ w.
finally unable to keep her mirth ouA
OF her eyes, which danced with fun.
In happy moment Higgins perceived
1t: he realized that the affair was
passing of as joke; and in the i'm
mense relief Of the discovery, with his
eye still upon her, he solemnly ana
unmistakably winked! AS the guests
passed out when 1t was over, he found
chance to whisper confidentially,
while holding open a door: BEG par
don, my lady-mum. 1t was hall 500
ighly humorous, my lady-mum; but
your ladyship can see as Mr.. Blank, II
quite himpossible. It's a good place,
but leaves tomorrow. l cawn't stand
the degradation. my lady-mum!"-~
Youths Companion.
The Grit-advocate., 1900-12-21

good and affectionate to the aged rich
man, and the best Of it is she never
thought of gaining anything by it.
However she has been amply reward
ed for her sweet Kindness to an apprs-
ciative distant relative.
The Grit-advocate., 1900-12-21
To study Homestead Legislation.

The Russian government intends
sending an agent to the United States
to study homestead legislation, with
the view of its partial application to
the peasant communities,