davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13
BulIfroE or Conscience.

care you one of the officers of the
treasury department" asked the man
with the bloodshot eyes.
81 am assistant secretary of the
treasury" was the reply. What can
I do for you:'
"We!l, it's rather a confidential bust
ness, and l don't want it to go any
further, but I've come to pay the gov
eminent some money that 1 guess
owe 1t fairly. / came back from Eu-
rope some time ago with some dutiable
goods concealed about me and got past
the revenue officers with them. 1 fig
ure that 1 beat the government out of
about Sc. and I've come to square up
and get the matter off my mind"
"Well," responded the assistant sec
rotary, 1--WE have what we call a con-
science fund, and as this seems to be
a case of Conscience
81 don't know that it's my conscience
that troubles me-" said the visitor. but
I do know there's a big bullfrog that
stays in a pond near where live, and
he keeps me awake, night after night,
with his internal cough up, cough up"
and I've got tired of it."-Chicago Trib-
une.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13
Speaker Reed. Retort.

Growing tired of his chair one after
noon. Speaker Reed surrendered it to
another member and sat down beside a
western Democrat.
my, what a large hand you have!'
remarked Me- Reed, looking intently at
the enormous paw of his Democratic
friend, who was writing n letter.
Yes, SIR" said the member, and
am proud of it. l worked on n farm
for SO many years that my hands grew
large, as you see them
The speaker held up his small and
shapely right hand, smooth and white
as a woman's, and said:
well, 1 thank the Lord I never
worked on n farm"
The member replied, You are prob
ably going to run for the presidency
some time. Mr.. Reed. and if you do I'll
placard that statement all over the
country. And what could you do about
it,"
The big fellow unused awhile and
said:
Nothing-except to brand you as an
internal liar"'-Success.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13
Nwk.1 tn DO with Them. i.

/SJust before Montana becamer o
state" said a citizen Of Helena, .'the
Clark-Carter contest occurred, n and
most bitterly was 1t fought out Any
thing that could be turned or twisted
into a campaign argument was sought
out and brought to the front. Commits
sioner Sparks, at that time head Of the
general land Office, had made a ruling
that thereafter no trees less than eight
inches in diameter should be cut down
for agricultural or mining purposes in
territory belonging to the United
States.
This ruling had aroused storm Of
indignant protest in Montana and had
straightway assumed a prominent
place as one of the main issues in the
Clark-Carter campaign. l was speak
ing one night at Bozeman, and, as was
natural, / attacked this ruling Of the
land commissioner and showed, at
least to my own satisfaction, what in
jury and injustice it did to both farmer
and miner, and so / worked up to what
fective peroration by asking the ques-
ton, What my fellow citizens, can
the farmer do with eight inch treesF
1.-THE answer to this had previously
invariably been silence, but this time
a shriIl voice in the rear of the hall
blurted out, Why, split 'em. of course,
We COMPOUNDED foolv and / sat down
amid the ribald and derisive jeers of
that vast audience."-New York Trib-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13
A Frank Contention.

An old Ulster woman who had made
money by selling whisky in village
on fair and market days was visited
when she lay dying by a minister, to
whom she spoke about her temporal as
well as her spiritual affairs.
and so, Molly" said the minister,
you tell me you are worth all that
money!
Indeed, minister, am" replied Mol
ly.
"And you tell me-" continued the
minister seriously, that you made it
by filling the noggin?'
INA, na. minister" exclaimed the dy-
ing woman; Il made maist of it by not
film the nogginv
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13
A HOBO ON A TRAIN.
HE Brief Interview With q Brake
man and the Conductor.

HE Brief Interview With q Brake
man and the Conductor.
al spent several hours in a small
country town not far from here a few
days ago." said a young professional
man OF this city, and to kill time
Joined the usual group in the corner
grocery store. One of the crowd was
a freight brakeman, and he told a
story about tramp who was stealing
a ride on the bumpers during his last
run.
1.-The conductor seen him first he
said, and when he came back to the
cabOose he said, says he: "Bill, there's
blamed ugly lookin hobo on the
trucks behind the first car. Suppose
you go up and fire him off, "An
right, cap" says /, and starts front.
When 1 gets to the first car, 1 looks
down, and, sure enough, there was a
big. greasy hobo squattin on the
edge, holdin on TO the brake iron. Hi.
therew says I. what d'you mean by
tryin to beat the road? We're goin
slow now, and you hop right orr The
hobo reached around into his pocket
and pulled out a gun about a yard long.
When he pointed 1t at me, it looked
ike Il piece OF SIONepipe- lou ITeChle
nosed baboon," says he, IF you don't
go bout your business real sudden, I'll
cave your face in! Skipv' says he. 1
skipped.
when 1 got back to the caboose,
the conductor says, well, Bill, did you
fire the hobo?'' No" says 1, Il didn't.
In chattin with him. says, At found
out we was kin, and 1 didn't really
have the heart to bounce the poor fell
lerr' well, I'll do it myself, them
says the conductor, gettin hot, and
away he goes over the tops. Pretty
soon 1 could hear him comm back
lickety split, on a dead run. He slid
down the brake iron like streak of
creased lightnin and dropped into
the caboose seat all out of breath.
did you fire him?" says 1. NO" says
he, sort OF faint. why, how was
thatF' says 1, pretendin to be surpris-
ed. well, I'll tell you" says he, con-
fdential. Its funny, but, d'you know,
when we got to tall1in, found out he
was some kin to me too" '"-Chicago
Inter Ocean.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13
A FISH-CATCHING FISH.
He Has n Mouth One-third the Size
of His Body


| Most remarkable of strange fishes is
| the angler fish, whose very name seems
n paradox. The fishing fish is never
| theless reality and a stern one to all
| that approach those awful jaws of his.
With body the color of mud he gen.
| orally lies in the shadow of some rock
on the bottom of the sea, waiting mo-
| tionless for the approach of his prey.
He is provided with an odd kind of fin
| just over the mouth, and this is held
| out in front of him to give warning of
the coming of something to be swal-
lowed. One taken alive was expert
mented on, and it was found that If
this projecting fin was touched with a
stick, even though the stick did not
come near the mouth, the jaws closed
convulsively. This shows that the fin,
by some provision of nature. closes the
jaws as soon as it is touched.
The mouth is tremendous, growing
to the width of foot when the whole
fish is only three feet long. One of
these anglers was caught not long
since, and, though 1t was only % inches
long a fish - inches long was found
sticking in its throat The angler Is
provided with peculiar teeth set in
double or treble rows along the jaws
and at the entrance of the throat.
Some of these teeth are a foot long.
He is not a pretty fish to look at, but
he attends strictly to business and will
swallow anything that touches his
warning fin, whether 1t is meant for
food or not.
All kinds of things have been found
in the stomachS of anglers, from bits
of lead and stone to fish almost as large
rs the angler itself. This is without
doubt one of the most peculiar and in
teresting fish in the whole ocean.-St.
Louis Globe Democrat.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13
Force ON the Piano,

1t has been calculated that a mini
mum pressure of the finger Of one
quarter Of a pound is needed to sound
a note on the piano and that at times
a force of five pounds is thrown on a
single key to produce a single effect
Chopin's last study in minor has a
passage taking two minutes five sec
onds to play that requires total pres
sure estimated at three full tons.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13
nan Candidates Wore white.

The word candidate" is from the
Latin "candidatus." Literally it means
white robed, and it was thus called be-
cause in Rome those who sought office
wore a glittering white toga. Fancy,
If you can, all our modern Americans
dressed in accordance with their polit-
ical ambitions. In some sections there
would be no such thing as dark suit
of clothes. Washington would simply
be one shining center of universal
Saturday Evening Post.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13
I'm a Rad Ell

GadZooks Qn restaurant)-Don'tl let
US sit at that table. l gave the waiter
a tip yesterday, and he will expect an
other today.
Zounds-Well. how about this table?
Gadzooks-Won't do have never
feed the waiter, and / would doubt
less expect me to begin today.-New
York Tribune.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13

You can't make girl with a new en-
gagement ring believe all men are
alike, and after she has been married
ten years you can't make her believe
they are not.-Chicago News.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13
Thaf.a All.

'T hear that BelIingham has married
money" said Perkasie.
'-It's a false report" replied Rotting-
dean. He married a cashgirl DE
troit Free Press.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13
Physicians.

On1oe TremAnn block. once hour 9 20 Il
o. NJ, to and to p. m 'I'hone No. l0o2
Rock IIlAnd, Ill. Might calls answered from
once.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13

Month of the perfect love.
Month of the perfect leaf
The mellow mourning dove
Thine only note Of grief
Oh, let hide within thy shade 4 sorrow past re-
lief
Thou. unto whose employ
AL natures arts belong.
Fragrance and warmth and joy,
Admit to thy throng.
thou cans. not dull the pang, but. oh, tune every
chord % sonGi
Walter Brooke in June Century.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13

til we have failed TO make somebody
else do II for us.-Indianapolis Journal
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-06-13
High LIE.

When a man who lives in a boarding
house has govt, the landlady assumes
an air of great importance.-Philade
phia Record.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-04
COTTON LETTERS.

New York, April 3-Hubbard Bros. & Co.
say: The expected reaction occurred In
Liverpool to-day, our cables stating a
better tone existed there after the open
ing decline. Selling orders from that mar
ket were responsible for the break here af-
ter the opening call. which caused local
selling. Efforts were made to check the
decline, which were unsuccessful, and
turned the local sellers into buyers, Cius-
ing the recovery of the entire decline, Au-
gust reaching cents. Receipts at the
ports are heavy but very small at the
interior towns. Local traders are look
ing for rather more of a rally in Liver
pool, as the large portion of the exports
go to the continent rather than to Liv-
erpool. The in sight movement this week
will be heavy on the inclusion of the ship
ments TO the Pacific slope. Weather con-
ditions are favorable for planting prepara-
tions throughout the cotton belt. Rain is
indicated for Arkansas only Tomorrow.
New York, April 3-Murphy & Co say;
Cotton in Liverpool declined 1-S2d on spots,
with sales of 10000. Futures declined
3-64d during the forenoon reacted and
closed 2-64d above yesterdays prices This
market opened irregular, to 10 points up
on old crop and to Z on new crop posi-
lions, then ruled easier on realizing new
crop deliveries in Liverpool. relatively
frmer than this market. as Southern op-
orators are not disposed to buy far months
owing to expectation Of increased cotton
acreage and larger drop If weather con-
tinues good. The cotton goods trade Il
very quiet with an easier feeling. Re
ceipts are fairly liberal this week and
the come in sight may reach 125, 600,
against 5000 last year.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-04

proved ana enlarged upon con-
stant.y during the twenty years siuce
twenty years OF the most extensive
practice enjoyed by any specialist in
this country. Or. Hathaway's great and
uniform success is due to. this individual
system Of regiment.
Exclusive Treatment.
In spite OF hundreds Of requests yearly
from doctors IN ali parts of the world
asking for the privilege OF using DR.
Hathaway's method OF treatment, he be-
lieves II wiser &c allow none beside him
self the knowledge Of his remedies. as
he is too well aware Of the mischief
which may he done by the unskillful use
OF any system, never mind how perfect.
Blood and skin Diseases.
DR.. Hathaway's treatment for blood
diseases in whatever stage cures all
forms OF ulcers, sores, blotches pimples
etc. and not only restores the skin and
scalp TO their natural condition. but so
purifies the blood nat the disease IS per
rnanently and completely driven from the
system and all this without administer
ing poisonous or dangerous drugs.
XaricoceIe and Structure.
His treatment Of Varicocele and STRIFE
ture is a method exclusively his own and
in 20 per cent. Of all cases results In a
perfect and permanent cure. No opera
ton Is required and no pain or incon-
venience are experienced by the patient
The expense Of this treatment is much
less than that Of any operation. or hos
ntai or institute treatment, and is both
safe and sure, restoring the organs to a
condition OF perfect. normal health.
consultation Free.
DR.. Hathaway makes no charge for
consultation and advice at either his
office or by mail.
). NEWTON HATHAWAY, VI. ID.
DR.. Hathaway & Co,
25A Bryan street. savannah. Ca.
ONCE hours-9 70 y m, to and 10
D. N. Sunday % TO p. M
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-04
COTTON FUTURES.

New York. April 3.-The course Of the
cotton market to-day was varied, with
each side subject to periods OF nervous
ness. The strength Of the Liverpool mar
ket was surprise and our market OPEN
ed steady. with prices 1 10 points higher
in consequence Shorts were excited buy
ers throughout the call A quick reac-
ton in the English market led to local
liquidation and prices fell rapidly to
level. lG3 points under last nights fig
ures. On the break bears resumed their
aggressive trading. attacks principally at
the summer months. Near midday the
market once again made a sudden shift
and quickly recovered from the depres-
sion. with noon figures showing a net rise
OF sal points. on the rise reports came
in through houses having European con-
nections to the effect that the selling
movement had abous run its course in the
English market. as most OF the weakly
held long stuff had been eliminated. A
bullish semi-weekly movement report
added to the better feeling in the mid
afternoon, while predictions for waning
interior receipts kept the late marke<
steady. Trading was only fair. The mar
ket closed quiet and steady at net ad-
vance Of 4dii points.
New York April 3.-Cotton futures
opened steady at the advance and closed
quiet and steady Prices as follows:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-04
ITCHING SKIN.
HumOrs, Boils, Pimples
Bone Pains, Swollen
Joints, Eczema.
Cured by B. B. B.-TTial Bottle
FREE.

Does your Skin Itch and Burn? Dis
tressing Eruptions on the skin so YOU feel
ashamed TO be seen in company? Do
Scabs and Scales form on the Skin. Hair
or Scalp? Is there a cons ant desire TO
scratch? Have you Eczema? Skin Sore
and Cracked? Rash form on the Skin?
Prickling Pain in the Skin? Boiis? PIN
pies? Bone Pains? Swollen Joints? Falling
Hair? All Run Down? Skin Pale? OLD
Sores? Eating Sores? Uclers? All these
are symptoms of Impurities and Polsons
in the blood. If not corrected they fire.
quently lead on to Deadly Cancer, Eat
ing Sores or Chronic Ulcers. Take B. B.
B. Botanic Blood Balm) at cnce, because
it makes the blood Pure and Rich. B. B.
B. has a peculiar effect-dlfferent from
any other remedy. B. B. B. drains the
Impurities, Poisons and Humors, which
causes all above symptoms, from the
blood, and in this way a real, permanent
cure is made. Then the sores heal, Itch
ing of eczema stops forever, the skin be-
comes clear the breath sweet and the
blood pure and rich. B. B. B. is the only
teheuy tAdt VIII actually cure ali opstl-
nate. deep-seated Blood Diseases. 1t is
made for that very purpose. So if Salves.
Sarsaparillas or mild remedies have failed
you, don't give up hope, for B. B. B. is
just the remedy YOU have been looking
for. Give il a trial. For sale by druggists,
81 per large bottle; six large bottles Qull
treatmenU, So. Complete directions go
with every bottle. So sufferers may let
it, trial bottle given away. Write for
it. Address Blood Balm Company, 156
Mitchell street, Atlanta. Ga. Describe your
trouble and Free personal medical advice
given.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-04
MISCELLANEOUS MARKETS.

Racon-AIarket IS steady. smoked clear
sides, SIC; dry saited clear sides. SC; bels
lies. SIC: sugar-cured HANG. l2Ag13izc.
Lard-Market firm; pure in tierces. TIC:
D-pound tins, TIC; compound. in tierces,
exc. 50-pound tins, s7sc.
Cheese-Market firm: fancy full cream
cheese lac for 25-pound average.
Flour-Market steady; patent. 49,
straight. 800; fancy, 56; family. $40.
Corn-Marke- steady; white, Job lots,
5sc; carload lots. sc; mixed corn. Job lots.
tic; carload lots, SIC.
Oats--No. mixed, carload, &c; job Iors,
1Q3sc; white. 39c, carload: 40c. job lots:
white, clipped, (57 to ~ Popnds). 3sq42c-
Texas rust proof oats. Job lots. ssc; car
load, Ale.
Southern seed rye. s1.15.
Bran-Job lots sc: carload lots, soc.
Hay-Market steady: Western, Job lots,
s7I4c; carload lots size; Eastern, none In
market.
nigh wine basis si.z3ls gallon.
Meal-Pearl. per barrel. s2.45; per sack.
S.15; city meal. per sack. borted, 81 %;
water ground. Sl.O8: pearl grist. Hud-
nuts, per barrel. & CO. per sack, $40.
Sugar-Equality Prices-Savannah quo-
tations: Cut loaf 5.S3c; crushed, 5.83c;
powdered. 5.53c; xxx powdered. 5.5sc;
standard granulated A. 543c: cubes. s. sc:
mould A. 5.Gsc diamond A. 543c: confec-
TONERS a. she; white extra c, 4.9sc: ex-
ira G, I SIC; golden c, 4.73c; yellow, sc.
Coftee-Flrm; Mocha. 26c; Java. &c: Pea
berry. 13ikc; standard No. /, i2c; No. ..
MIC; No. 3. 1lAc; No. Z. lie; No. s. 1Okc;
No. s. 9ssc; No. Z, 9lzc.
Onions-white. Sl2Jll1.50 crate; ss.7514o
BARREL red. 81 .s5al.75 per barrel-sack; yell
low, 81. S502OD
Potatoes-Northern, firm at S2Ood2l5
Parsnips. Carrots and Beets-s2 50azu
per barrel.
Pess-Black-qyed, Sl.&d2O per bushei.
Potatoes-Northern, firm at 500.
Beans-Navy or peas, s2.50d2 10 per
bushel.
Bananas-Sl. 25d2.z5
Lemons-Market firm az s3.o0d3z5 box.
Oranges-FlOrida. none: California Heed-
Ing. s225; California navels. s3.o01s. 30.
Cocoanuts-Market steady. sz.75lgaO0
100.
Apples-Red varieties, sL5og5.oo %
rel; russets, S4.ou459
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-04

Morning News Office. April g.
The feature of the market to-
day was the drop in grades
that brought on considerable trading Up
wards of 400 barrels were sold, and the
demand for lows was such as to keep the
trading moving along briskly had not
about all the offerings been absorbed.
Spirits turpentne closed firm at 5S1s cents,
with reported sales of over 500 casks. Re-
ceipts continue on a small scale, and un-
less something unforeseen helps the move
ment the chances are that very little
stuff will be received during April, as DOM
pared with the receipts same time last
year. The cotton market closed quiet and
unchanged, with no transactions report
ed. The demand is very light. 1t is re-
ported that less than 5000 bales remain
in factors hands subject to sale, The
wholesale markets were steady and active
The following resume of the different
markets will show the tone and the QUO
tations at the close to-day:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-04

over 4o0 visitors went 10 Pensacola Sat
rrlay 20 see The three monster fighting
naahines Of the Unitel States navy, the
New York, Texas and Machais.
Jacksonville Metropolis; The Sanford
Chronicle is the only paper in the stale
thli seems to think ex-senator Calls can
aaary for Governor really means danger
20 other aspirauts. Well, the Metropolis
Is eff the opinion that the old man will
Peg bee much bother this year to any one
IN any party.
D'ytona, Halifax Journal: The sight Of
I erand eagle being mauged ard fed u
1e chickens by a taXidcrmisl last W ok
made us wonder how long the war Of ex-
animation viii be permitted TO 60 on in
\ I2i do. WIN IL only cease when nothing
i leit TO shoot? This grand bird had a
pro d Of wings Of seven feet
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-04
THE RICE MARKET.
NAVAL STORES.

Spirits Turpentine-The market for tur-
pentine closed firm to-day al 53iz cents
Several buyers were in the market fer
supplies which gave things some life, and
caused ira nsactious TO run up to a good
total II is stated that most OF the stun
bought was for domestic shipment. but
II is understood the demand is both for
egn and domestic. The receipts to-day
were SO casks. sales, SIS casks. and the
exports none.
Rosins-The feature Of the rosin market
to-day was the decline OF cents on
grades II and below. which was posted 1t
the Beard OF Trade at the opening call.
Pales were posted as nominal, mediums
quiet ard lows firm. The receipts were
2O34 barrels. the sales 45l barrels. ard
the exports none. The following were the
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-04
COTTON.

While there was an Improvement in the
New York future market to-day, due to
The better Liverpool advices, the spot mar
kets were in the main unchanged. The
Savannah market closed quiet and IN
changed. with no tran,ac lions reported.
There is apparently no demand at present,
and until one springs up things are apt 10
remain at a standstill, as is the case at
present. The receipts to-day lacked one
bale of being 200.
The following were the official : OF
quotations, at the close of the market, az
the Cotton Exchange to-day;
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-04

On being asked the other day to what
he attributed his long life and excellent
health. William NJ. Eyarts replied Il
don't know unless i is that I never took
any exercise" The questioner regarded
this as a joke, of course. but il is a feet
that the ex-senator objects 10 any ply
steal exertion and often hires a cab to
avoid walking a block.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-04
COUNTRY PRODUCE.

Poultry-The market is steady. Quota
tons: Half-grown, SOd35c per pair; three
quarters grown. 40d45c per pair; full
grown fowls (hens), 55li60J per pair; roos-
ters, Zoe per pair; turkeys. H.25lJ250 per
pair: geese, 75cGsl.00 per pair; ducks. coo
per pair.
Fggs-The market is firm az 12113c.
Butter-The tone of the market ID
steady. Quotations.: Extra diaries, BIC:
extra Elgins, &c.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-04

and the exact
position of the
diseased condi-
lion determined.
DR.. HathaWa
is a specialist in
the best sense
Of the word-he
treats special
diseases in q
special manner
# his own-a
system studied
out years ago
while in college
a n d hospital
Dragtfce and inn
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-04
DRY GOODS.

New York, April 3.-There has been no
relief TO the monotony of the market for
cotton goods In all departments the
current demand is quiet from the home
trade and export business in coarse brown
cottons limited. Prices are without
change at fret hands in any direction,
and although the general tendency IS
slightly in favor of buyers, 1t is not more
so than usual in dull period.