The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1900-07-28

ments of the Presidency. That rule was
followed at Kansas City but it was thrown
into the waste basket at Philadelphia.
Teddys Flying Trip Through the
'sSun flower State and How Hanna
Called Him Down.
Correspondence of the Democratic Advocated
PORTLAND, MAINE, July 49, 1890.
Says Teddy to himself need vacation. am
tired of being bossed around by Tom Piatt ana
as western railroad offered me free fare if would
don myself out in my Rough Rider suit and stand
out on the platform the train passed the cities
en- route and wave banner with the railroad adj
vertisement thereon and say something about being
candidate for vice president the railroad manager
thought they could afford to haul me free, provided
1 shoveled coal for the engine between stations.
So | accepted the job, as you know Your own
Teddy never refuses anything. Well, we were
spinning along speech making, &c, when one day
| was summoned to the Long Distance Telephone.
l says Hello! who is this? A stern voice on the
other end from Marx Hanna, who says Hellol is
this you Teddy? | says yes Mark. What the hello
do you mean by talking so wild about war, &c Are
you not aware that this election is no ream, that
we have all the light we want at hom 10 win the
election lail. Win
us Put cork in your mouth and keep il closed;
come TO Cleveland at once until can put pad lock
ON your mouth like my office boy, VIM McKi nley.
See how nice have him trained He ouly few
the coop once when he said something about
plain Duty once in his message about Porto Rico
But he took it all back the day and said it was
only one of his jokes; thai he did not mean word
of it. Just then the telephone was switched Oh
50 Teddy goes TO Cleveland, meets Marx Hanna
Here is part of the conversation overheard
Now Teddy you must take OF that Rough Rider
suit and broad brimmed hat aud don I talk such
mouse. &c and at such random as you viii rain a.,
says da~,.
~Ic..I.ucver stand tor this says Teddy % The
idea OF me Governor Of the Empire state knackiing
to cattle lHyer in politics, never says Teddy
Don't H. too hasty. says Mark. Why did you mol
spring n, l6 10 l on them and tell them the ooun-
try would 90 to wreck and that Bryan an an
archist. sc.
Tha, is Just what | did give them aud they ail
guyed me until / got red in the face. SAYS Teddy.
Tney kept ON giving me the laugh and asked me II
| took hem for set Of Jay Haw kers. aud ihai
about tie only part Of the country that the 10 10
/ would Fort would be you, Marx aud your gang II
YOU hs1 To buy US many votes this year as you did
ia $3.50 They kept hurting such remarks IS this at
me and kept ON giving me the laugh 50 much, and
/ was So embarrassed Al last some boy says
wave your big hat Teddy and dazzle yodr saii and
dance around rag time one Of those to Toe one Is
two step dance This was good ad,ice, IL ST The
/ crowd to laughing aud gave me a chance 10 sneak
out the back wsy aud get into that was await
| ing me Now II am to abandon nay big hat aui
K.ush Ridins suit says Teddy, the jig is np, aRi
/ ms show will be no good becanse am a failure a.
I yote.2etting by making speeches Look at ms ifp
| through Maryland when toured for COY Lo~nie
II makes no difference says MARI, the suit must
90 You must b. dude 10 lend dignity To our
| n,onarchial form of government which Ne are tFy
ing 10 shove on the people In the L. ; II wou'i y
safe for me TO make any speeches outside ~ Mime
sofa PeHusy iyanIa and Vermont sAys Teddy Ihis
IS Too much Tor the Governor Of New YORK 9" he
bossei around IN this way Father Piat' is not 'u
Il with you. Marx. Give me my hat says Teddy,
must be going Your hat has just blown out Of the
window says Marx. l know you are stubborn
boy Teddy bat let NE plead with you thsg Is uot
sale for you venture out There i brfa'-H.iic
xhiriwind passing over the couusr3 Il Jon cent
ure out you viii be swept a your feet Ike yoar hat
Was blown away iusta moment ago b iscinsrstic
gale that is getting in shape Tor November uaia
VIII l.. very stormy piacc this fall siFa,si lash
/ lived saneS here else. says Mars cnahicat!Aiiy
This something terrible Teddy, agn ufnsia the
old saip Is leaking
The Democrats never before la ihsir history put
forward such American policy ia their platform
it appeals 10 them ia such cuEmon s-.issc way
Teddy that The people arc GA % as AMI Ne O."
tim tam them IS we have 10 the past We don't
seem 10 BE- able hold them la lac BY giving thca
Ss.Us Jobs. Sats Marx. Look al Webster Davis A.
sssani Secretary Of ihc interior ant hest Of others
driniug from rs. II It keeps up Al this rate. says
Marx we can't cvea hoAi Mckinley lea nae. BE- wiil
d. II.
via cali him up BY phone says Aark Hello
Is ih!s Canlous Is Mckinney In. Yes. sis lnc 'sys
Mack,
have a surprise for you Macs. szys Msgt Pos
flnr years yoa have beeu my olioc boz, nos
want To promote yog - - my secretary VIII
sctd down delegation composing u Henry cab
taxe Lodge Curnbarf bliss. Chat4ys Emefgrncy
smith aud Others 10 Inform you Of yoar nouilss'loA
o. the position There Il course uiti l. some ucws
paper rctarer. around Jolly thea along. give theta
an they want 10 drink snd biil 70 raei and tszss
taet tiliuE you arr the "Rea ThtgE aSa that y5l
ase really running for presiicRt OF course Sva
know n in be president bat This Is conaien'ial %
not get iuio the fafers, b'ss>e you elt knoA
ttst the public know sne - we'll tssAt ovaia no'
l-a eleclsi constable in my usri Yon tnoW uc
viii dlve ths money in treasury Smeig " q There
i, any len amer the ship subsidy tsEeaii BID -
passed. That Is all al pFyscnt - gg.si-b AscA
Iazi a minute. Msrk says MACK iow atm o. give
the boys their beer, sc. Will have souac iese9's'
and preachers 70 tea on the day the deieEztloa cousc
down aud yoa knoa what roasting viii get
Thls Philippians Roast Is aboat all can siaui 81
present. - Mhat an 70 dos inst Is easy says
Marx % like they dodowu ln Prohibition AaIur
serve the teer ia tea pot aud give the suesisa cup
AMI saucer that will ''cm. says MARI. Hni
they will ali leave ia good hamor Jolly them
along leed them on knaut and cabbage % any
thing you have you want 10 get rf u. bat don
max any speeches. II you will do thts, Macs ali
wlll be well for awhile Al least Uill send s1snr
one down 10 sol your yari Mack. - don't worry
II they irample the gTass down la your yari as you
have home la Washington until next March. theu
We y ~ all go up salt River 1t makes no never
mindS says Mark,
Just then made noise. being crsmFcd into such
close quarters in Marx Hannz's Office while over
hearing his talk over the phone. sc
Marks keen and eagle eye heard aud espied
me and said was one OF thoss cruel Democrats
who was going 10 help to slaughter him ihis fall
said l Was ani that the majority Of the people
thought likewise. aud that they could not fool the
people any longer; that they were gettiug their
eyes open and that he. Marx would b. driving one
OF his cos carts next year iastead of bossing the
oceupant OF the White House. This made him mad
50 he threw ME out the Office. Thus ends my sIory
SAN sCRoGGtSs