The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1900-06-29
JUST ICE JOHN
POORLY PAID.
His Court Brings a Big Revenue to
the City.
FOREIGNERS IN COURTROOM.
A Chinaman and a Turk Wrestle With
the Problem of a Water Meter and
Leave With Poor Opinion
Of the Law.
Justice John Is the poorest paid man In
,a city Government, when measured by

Justice John is the poorest paid man in
the city government, when measured py
results.
People who make a nuisance of them
selves, and lie around in the cutters IN
public view without any feeling Of pride,
count themselves disgraced If they have to
go TO Jail, and manage to raise money to
pay fine when they cannot get credit at
the undertaker's and thus it is that Justice
John raises a big revenue for the city.
His court is not only self-sustaininG, but
helps q long way towards paying the city
expenses.
He WAS a LAWYER.
The Great Dispenser worked along strict
lines of law yesterday, settling the
mnutest points according TO the most pre-
else shadings of Blackstone and the
statutes.
He even undertook to cite authorities
and referred to decisions bearing on the
points in the case with the ease and man
ners o. an old chancery lawyer.
Sarah Jackson. colored. was charged with
breaking and defacng the property OF
Sanford Lyons. Sarah was trying to tell
her troubles to policeman when her case
was called and Wore her best worSted
shawl to court though the thermometer
WAS trying to climb up through the Win
dow.
After mastering the mysteries of the
swinging gate she sough: out the kindly
looking reporters and addressed her appeals
TO them, obliv!ous of the Great Dispen-
ser and his stern demand to kiss the,
book
SHE WAS NEW
Il was evident that Sarah had never been
to court before and her very awkwardness
was in her favor with the Great Dispen-
Sc.
what did you do to this nigger?" de-
manded tho terror Of evil doors.
Il was just trying to get water, sar.
Yes. saar. replied the curtsyng Sarah.
THE CASE UNFOLDED.
Tho answer opened up to the experienced
understanding OF the Great Dispenser a
vista o. the whole case and his dia gnosis
Q. the situation stamped him in the mind
OF the Simple Sarah as a man gifted with
second sigh.
You and this man live in double ten
ement?" "Yaas. sar'
There is a fence between -
''Yaas Sar"
And a gate in it,"
''Yaas Sab; OATS right
''And the well is on his side?'
"Yaas Sar."
And he nailed the gate up to keep you
from getting water, and You broke II
open?"
Vas Sab; dat he did,
And then the Great Dispenser declared
that anybody who would try to keep
another from getting water this weather
ought to go to jail; and informed Sanford
Lyons if ne put another nail in that gate
he would hang him without trial by jury,
and the people marveled much at the
greatness of the just Judge
WATER BY PRESCRIPTION.
But that was not the only water case.
Nachen DaSbane;,1a VA chs nv WING
Al WI with taking city waite" without
license. VIII Nac!len is an unutterable
Turk, and as hard to get money out of as
an Armenian indemnity from the Sublime
Porte. ]
Nachen has a high disdain for water,
and only takes it by prescription of the
city ordinance.
Wing Au WI runs a laundry. and spits
a great deal Of water over the clothes
ne washee, washee-
A water meter registers the liquid that
flows into the building occupied by the
Mahomedan and the heathen and Wing
Az WI wanted Nachen Dachenien to pay
one-half the bill.
The Great Dispenser declared it was a
personal matter between them: that his
court had nothing to do with it.
The children of the Levant and the
Orient left with high contempt for a
tribunal that couldn't settle a little case
like that.
FIVE DOLLARS WORTH.
Mr.. j. T. Bradley was charged with as
saulting, striking and beating j. z. Stone.
Mr.. Bradley not deny the soft inn
peachment, but plead provocation.
The Great Dispenser and Mr.. Stone
failed to agree with him, and Mr.. Brad
ley paid $500 fer the difference of opinion.
Since the Instructions in the Giligan
case, self defence hasn't a leg to stand on
in Hizoners court, and a man had better
hire a policeman or bring along the office
boy to do MS talking.
". S. Gregory. who was charged on
second warl--nt that he did unlawfully- and
feloniously take, steal and carry away
$3.50 in United States currency, the prop
erty Of Mrs A. D. Atkinson. of the Lex
inston Hotel was bailed for his appear
ance Tuesday, 1t was stated that the
matter was adjusted after the first arrest,
but the shortage was found to be greater
than at first supposed and the second war
rant was issued
TO THE GRAND JURY.
Arthur Barnes (colored) about sixteen
wears old was charged With maliciousiy
and feloniously cutting Robert Tanner,
colored boy, a Mayos factory January
l4th. with a knife. The cut reached from
Roberts ear to his nose and came near
destroying the eye. A witness testlIled
that Arthur told him beforehand he was
going 10 cut Robert Tanner
Arthur was sent to the grand jury.
Dick Jones (colored) was charged with
stealing a ham from the store of Hechler
Brothers. Dick declared Use done ruined
wia dat.charge agin me- and plead 10 be
allowed to leave town. He was given so
days.
Not a single one of the Great Dispensers
constituents had the nerve to get inSoxi-
Gated with the Thermometer on a strike
for higher reg ster and there was not
case Of drunk on the docket.