davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30
BRIGHT BITS.

-Sarcasm.--''Well send you these cir
them and deliver them to-day?" Good
ness, yes; Wen send them to you yester-
day If you say so.''-Chicago Record.
-Watts-"What do you think of Dom
Paul's declaration that the English will
never reach Pretoria?" Potts-"I doubt
the correctness of his prophecy. John
Bull has been in the reaching business a
good many years. indianapolis Press.
A Far-Sighted Citizen.-Dickey: Is a
diplomat a politician who knows what to
do, Uncle Christopher?
Uncle Christopher: No-no-Dickey;
a diplomat is politician who knows what
he intends to do after other politicians
have done what his first move was in
tended to make them do.-Life.
For the Best.-"Everything happens
for the best" said Senator Sorghum
What were you thinking Off"
Porto Rico. When 1 think of how
much we are going to get out of that ISL
and I'm more convinced than ever that
Spain was neglecting its opportunities and
deserved to lose it."-Washington Star.
I'VE come now said the campaign
orator, pausing a moment to take drink
of water, 1--WE come now to the marrow
of the subject" How do you know 1t
is the narrow" interrupted jeering aud
itor near the door. IT feel it in my
bones, retorted the orator. Hereupon
the enthusiastic crowd cheered for five
minutes, to the great and overwhelming
confusion of the other fellow.-Chicago
Tribune.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30

weights and textures of cloths suited to
the American market might not suit that
of China, and the methods of packing for
transportation that would be best in this
country would not be best there. Differ
ences exist between the wants of the ORR
entails and of the Occidentals, in almost
every line of manufactures. The color
of the paper in which package is wrap
ped will often determine the sale of the
contents in China.
Besides being economical the Chinese
desire to have full assurance that what is
offered to them is good thing. For that
reason they demand to see it, They were
opposed to steam railways until they had
seen one; now they are in favor of them,
and many miles of railway are being con-
siructed in the kingdom. And this rail-
way construction Will greatly increase the
demand for American machinery and iron
and steel products. According to the
opinion of Minister WI. the appointment
of a commission of American business
men to visit China and study the wants
of the people would have very beneficial
effect. And then, he says. the Ameri-
cans SnOuld eSldDllSn cOnmSrclal mus
Gums in two or three of the large Chi
nese cities, in which should be displayed
the articles which it is desired his peo-
pie shall purchase. In that manner the
Chinese would be able to see for them
selves, and judge of the merits of the
goods offered. Fair prices and square
dealing, says the minister, must be the
rule, and when confidence is once in
spired there is no telling what it will
lead to-
Minister WI, in concluding his article,
draws attention to what he regards the
injustices of our exclusion laws, and gives
it to be understood that if we were more
liberal in our treatment of the Chinese,
we might expect closer and better trade
relations with them.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30
A State Flower.

There has been more or less talk in this
country for a number of years, especially
in public school circles, about national and
state flowers, but it is left to a Capitol
Hill man to contribute a wad of knowl-
edge to the discussion that is but little
short of marvellous in It's profundity, says
the Washington Star The other day he
went into his library, where he found his
youngest son busy over his SCHOOLGIRLS
Hello, jack" he said to the youngster,
what are you doing?"
Studying my lesson" responded the
boy.
What lesson, for instance?"
All of them"
Have you learned anything new to-
day."
yep"
"What?"
For one thing I learned that the state
flower of Minnesota is the moccasin
flower"
1.-THE moccasin f1ower?" repeated the
father, inquiringly.
That's what"
well, WE'LL" he mused mostly to him
self. 1.-THE moccasin flower; and I'm shot
if I didn't think 1t was the wheat -four ."
The boy Immediately wanted to know
what kind of a blossom that was, but the
father offered no explanation.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30
ROOSEYELT,S PLANS.

Unless Gov Roosevelt has an unusually
level head he is in danger of becoming
puffed up with the idea that he is big
ger man than the country really thinks he
is The leaders of his party, If reports
are to be credited, are begging him to ac-
cept the vice presidential nomination on
the ticket with Mr.. Mckinley, and he is
telling them he will not-that he does not
think the vice presidency is very big
office, anyway, not as big as the governor
ship of New York. He wants a renomina-
ton, not so much because he desires to
fill the office of Governor of New York
two years longer, but because he is con-
WINGED that If he continues in that office
for another term his chances for getting
the nomination of his party for President
four years hence will be greatly improved.
He does not think the vice presidency is
a good stepping stone to the presidency.
All things considered, his chances for
reaching the presidency by way of the
vice presidency might be better than the
way he seems to have chosen. The indi-
cations are that the Democrats will be
united in New York next fall. Should
that be the case, the chances are that he
would not get a second term, even though
he should succeed in getting renomina-
ton If ex-senator Hills candidate for
Governor, Controller Coler of New
York city, should be nominated by
the Democrats 1t is probable that Gov.
Roosevelt would have a taste of defeat.
His majority two years ago. when his
war record was fresh, was very small.
ID is true he might be defeated as the
candidate of his party for Vice President.
Indeed it begins to look as if the people
were getting tired of the Republicans,
and were preparing to give the Democrats
a chance. But to be defeated for the
vice presidency would not injure his
chances for getting the presidential nom
nation of his party four years hence so
much as to be defeated for the governor
ship of New York. A man who fails to
carry his state has not much of a claim
on his party for presidential nomination
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30
Fitted Him.

The travelling eye doctor came along,
says the Lewiston Journal The man of
the house was out in the barn sorting po-
tatoes for seed. His wife told the doctor
that she guessed her husband wanted
some glasses, for he had been complain
ing about his old ones So she went out
and called him. He came slowly in through
the shed walk, busting the CRIME off his
hands.
Yes, said he to the doctor, 1T have
been havin' quite tussle with them eyes
of mine. Guess I've either got to have
some new specs or git tongs to hold my
paper with. Haint got much ready mon
ey just now. Jest got up March HILL We
see, and it's seed and fertilizer and all
that to buy. But trot out yer glasses,
mister, and Wen see if we can trade
So the doctor opened his case and conf
menced TO try on the glasses. An each
was fitted on his nose the farmer looked
graveiy onto the page of the weekly pa
per and then off al the wall. mo, that
amt It YETI he would say.
At last he seemed 10 get discouraged
Il don't believe we've got anything in your
stock" said he. that's goin' to do me
any good. Guess we nights we'll stop
tryin'. -
Quoth the doctor. "weu, try these. It's
the last pair we haven't tested. If they
don't fit We'll sail it a bad job And he
carefully placed the glasses astride the
farmers nose and passed the paper over
to him.
The farmer read awhile in silent delight
and then looked at the doctor Com
plete!" cried the farmer ecstatically. Il
haint seen so we'll to read for years
These are Jest what 1 call fust-classw
m glad I suited you" said the doctor
as he tucked 50 in HIS vest pocket and
FASTENED away. 81 thought I could fix
you before we got done. 'And he did
fix me-" said the farmer telling about the
matter the other day. when 1 went to
look at them glasses after supper, blamed
if didn't find that they We're nothin' but
jest bows-not a speck of glass in either
side of EN-. 1t cost me 50 to find. out that
my old eyes are pretty good to read with
after all
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30
FREAK COINAGE.

From time to time there arises
Statesman" with a brilliant idea for pre-
venting gold and silver from parting COM
pany in value in the coinage. "Fasten
them together" says the statesman; "tie
them fast each to the other, then it will
be physical impossibility for them to
part company" During the last half
century or so numerous suggestions of the
kind have been made. The latest of the
series comes from Senator Boies Penrose,
the genius who at present solely repre-
sents Pennsylvania in the upper house of
Congress. Some advocates of this phys
ical solution of the problem of the pre-
cious metals have said, put ring of sill
yer around a disc of gold; others have
said, melt the two together and form an
alloy, and from the alloy mint dollars.
Penrose is an adherent of the latter plan.
Probably he thinks wicked people might
cut the ring of silver off from the disc of
gold, and thus defeat the purpose OF the
clever scheme; therefore melt them to-
gether," says Penrose in a bill which he
introduced into the Senate last week. The
bill provides for the free coinage of dol
lars, half-dollars and quarters TO be com
posed of three-fifths gold and two-ifths
silver. This, it is said, would produce a
metal of brassy color. which might be
easily initiated at great profit to COM
terfeiters. They might leave out all of the
gold. substituting copper, and make a coin
that could be detected only by me,allurgl-
cal experts.
This Penrose bill recalls TO the Philadel-
phia Record that as a matter of fact, one
Of the "tie-them-together" propositions
actually got so far along as to be sent TO
the mint for experiment. and a number Of
sample coins were struck. That was i'm
1878. when the Crime OF 70" was new and
there were strenuous calls for justice 10
poor stricken silver. A Pennsylvania
man mote that he was a native Of PEN
roses state) inventeda mixed metal which
ne called "goloid" composed OF 10 parts
gold, 1867 parts silver and d parts cop
per. The stun was patented. and the
Pennsylvania man owned the patent. Ney-
crtheless Congress authorized dies to be
made for the coinage of money from "go-
loid." and several coins were actually pro-
duced. Probably the majority OF them
were remcted. upon the failure Of the ox-
pertinent. but few OF them are retained
by the treasury department az souvenirs.
Following this attempt AZ q "bi-mefalilc''
coin iherc hay. bocn introduced iuto Con.
greas several bills proposing something -
the same sort bat none ~ them ever rot
~ Gar along as the 'gol9ld' scheme. And
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

MISUNDERSTANDING Commandery, No
', K. t.; South End First District Club
Special Notices-Grand Tableaux and
High Glass Specialties Thursday Night,
May 8; VIII Be Sold Tuesday, I. D. La
Roche, Auctioneer.
Business Notices-sir Henry Cigars,
Henry Solomon & Son, Wholesale Dis
fributors; E. & w. Laundry.
Auction Sale-Investment Property, by
J. D. LaRoche Auctioneer.
First Clothing Picnic This Seasonal.
H. Levy & Bro.
Don't Forget the Place-Daniel Hogan.
Legal Notices-In the Matter of Savan-
nah Shoe and Dry Goods Company, Bank
rupt.
Wait for the Grand Excursion to Jack
sonville-via the Florida Central and Pc
ninsular Railroad.
ne-Anheuser-Busch Brew
ing Association.
Steamship Schedule-Merchants' and
Miners Transportation Company's Steam
ers.
Our Specialties-Lindsay & Morgan.
FinanciaI-Atwood, Violet & Co., New
York.
Mineral Water-Crab Orchard Water
Medical-Hood's Pills; Horsford's Acid
Phosphate; Ayers Pills; DR.. Hathaway
Company; Hostetter's Stomach Bitters.
Cheap Column Advertisements
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30
EngIishmen and Jokes.

Speaking of the inability of some worthy
people who reside in the British isle to
appreciate a joke let me tell you of what
happened in Southern France one evening
last winter. says writer In the New
York Mail and Express. 1t was after din
ner at one OF the hig hotels in that city,
and a little company of tourists sat smok-
ing and telling stories. When my turn
came repeated the advertisement sent to
a Boston paper. This was the way the adj
vertisement ran:
Found--A fine sealskin glove. Owner will
confer a favor by leaving the other glove
at this Office.
They all laughed except the English cler-
gyman. His face wore a puzzled look, and
one of his friends, noticing 1t, said:
Don't you see? Man found a glove,
doesn't offer to return it, but wants the
owner to send him the other. See?'
Yes" said the clergyman, evidently
not reasurred. "but then don't you see the
advertisement would enable the owner of
the lost glove readily to get on the track
of il %
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30

The MORNING NEWS is published
avery day In the year, and is served to
subscribers in the city. or sent by mail,
at zoe a month. $500 for six months. and
$50 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS. by mail. six
times a week without Sunday issue,
three months, $50; six months $500; one
year. $500.
The WEEKLY NEWS. 2 issues a week.
Monday and Thursday, by mail. one year,
E00.
Subscriptions payable in advance Re
init by postal orders, check or registered
letter Currency sent by mail at risk Of
senders.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column local or reading notices
amusements and cheap or want column,
10 cents a line. Fourteen lines of agate
fype-eQual to one inch square in depth
Is the standard of measurement. Contract
rates and discount made known on apph-
cation at business office.
orders for delivery OF the MORNING
NEWS to either residence or place of
business may be made by postal card or
through telephone No. 30. Any irregular
fly IN delivery should be Immediately re-
ported to the office Of publication.
Letters and kilograms should be adj
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, q Park Row, New
York city. H. C. Faulkner. Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30

Mabel must have been visiting in some
large city, and her sister Anna was at the
train to greet her upon her safe return,
says the Detroit Free Press. They Rugged
each other with fond delight and imme-
0iately began TO discuss various topics of
mutual interest
sand, o. Mabel" exclaimed Anna, sud-
denly, why didn't you let me know when
you got that SIS mother gave to me to send
you"
"Why, dear answered Mabel, with sur
prise, 81 didn't get it,
Didn't get it?" cried Anna.
70 mo dear
well" exclaimed Anna, Indignantly
'I sent it by money order. And she con-
tinued, IT have the receipt right here for
the money"
And then the dear girl fumbled in her
purse and drew forth the order which the
postal clerk had given her for the money
and which she thought was the receipt.
The girls kissed each other again and
decided at once to proceed to the Postoffice
and demand satisfaction of Uncle Sam.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30

There have been suggestions that ex-
Senator Quay of Pennsylvania would run
amuck" among the members of the ad-
ministration, in revenge for his defeat of
last week-for the opinion is still very
strong that the administration had hand
in defeating him. But Mr.. Quay says he
will do no such thing. This is no time
for revenge he says. 1--WE have a
national campaign before us, and there is
too much at stake to pursue a policy of
that kind Evidently Mr. Quay has no
idea of quitting politics. Already he Is
forgiving his enemies, no doubt with a
view to using them later
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30
1t Was Alive.

A laughable incident occurred yesterday
in the Statuary Hall of the Capitol. says
the Washington Post:
One. of the Capitol policemen sat in a
chair in one corner of the hall. He had
MA eyes closed and looked like a wax
e. His black mustache seemed to be
a. ,cial, his cap was down over his eyes,
his uniform was bright and clear. Two
young men, strangers in the city, and
visiting the Capitol for the first time, re-
garded the quiet figure with considerable
interest. They approached It, but it did
not move.
Il wonder if began one Of the young
men to his companion.
YES" said the ether, interrupting him,
IT think It's one of those Eden Musee
figures. Let's see'
Taking pin from his coat lapel, the
visitor deftly inserted 1t into the police
mans knee.
The wax figure came to life
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30

1t is a medicine for weak women. 1t Is "a
purely vegetable medicine and can be-
taken by the most delicate. Kidney Dis
eases, rheumatism and all diseases of the
Blood, Stomach and nerves soon succumb
to it's wonderful effects upon the human
system. Thousands of people in Georgia
recommend 1t. Price $1.e0.
QUAKER PAIN BALM is the medicine
that the Quaker Doctor made all of his
wonderful quick cures with. It's a new
and wonderful medicine for Neuralgia
Toothache, Backache, Rheumatism
Spralns. Pain in Bowels; an fact, all pain
can be relieved by 1t. Price 25c and soc
QUAKER WHITE WONDER SOAP, a
indicated soap for the skin, scalp and
complexion. Price 10c cake.
QUAKER HEALING SALVE. a vege
table ointment for the cure of letter. &C.
zema and eruptions of the skin. Price
l0c a box.
FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30
Rabies Mt the Play,

II. c. Barnabee tells story about Il
baby which made the hit of the evening
at certain performance OF Patience, -
in which he took part:
There was young couple up in the
CALLERS. and they had the baby contingent
along My thunderous tones repeating nv
lines, Where the dust OF an earthly to-day
So the earth OF the dusty Tomorrow
awakened the baby. and il began to cry
loud and long. Then came my lines. AIS
a little thing OF my own, | made the
most OF them, and the house caught on
and yelled itself hoarse. At a later per-
Torrance another baby made an uncon-
scious hh. He made such noise crying
that he had the middle OF the stage for
about hve minuiesi then came my lines.
Oh, hollow, hollow, ow;'-whlch he
probably was"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30

Twenty-Five hundred school children of
Windsor, Ont, will send two delegates to
Manila with resolution of sympathy for
Aguinaldo. The delegates are to start on
the Queens birthday, May %. This is in
response 10, or rather in retaliation for
the message of sympathy sent to Presi-
dent Kruger of the South African Repub-
lie by the school children of Philadel-
phia; and it is just about as sensible, and
no more. Wen show the Yankees" said
the secretary of the school board, that
two countries can play at the sympathy
game" "a
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30
LEGAL NOTICES.

~-~~~-~-~-~~~-~-~~-~~O~S~
IN the District Court of the United
States for the Southern District and East
ern Division of Georgia. In re. Savannah
Shoe and Dry Goods Company, bankrupt.
Under and by virtue. of an order granted
by A. H. MacDoneh Esq, referee in
bankruptcy, sealed bids for the purchase
of the stock of goods of said bankrupt
will be received by me at my office, 10 Bay
street, east. Savannah, Ga, until 10 O'Clock
a. m. on May 8, 1900. The right is re-
served to reject any and all bids.
GEO. S. HAINES,
Trustee of said bankrupt.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30

GEORGIA, CHATHAM COUNTY
Notice is hereby given that I have made
application 10 the Court of Ordinary for
Chatham County, for leave to sell all the
real and personal property, consisting OF
lots Nos ~ and Q0) in C. ]. Hulls sub,
division of lots, numbered % and (S) ana
80, In Screven ward, Savannah, Ga. Also
an interest in a bond for title from Chat
ham Real Estate and Improvement Com.
pany to Dora Price, to eastern portion OF
lot No. 9, section z, of Cuthbert ward N
Savannah, Georgia; belonging to estate OF
Mrs. Dora Price, deceased, for the pay
ment of debts and distribution, and that
said order will be granted at May term,
1900, of said court, unless objections are
filed thereto. GEORGE DERST.
Administrator Estate Dora Price
April Z, 1900.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30

The Maritime Canal Company. whose
concessions for an isthmlan canal have
been revoked by the Niearaguan govern
meDt. says % will ASK Uncle Sam 10 step
iD ana see that we are not deprived ~ our
rights" These rights" in all probability.
the company hopes 20 induce Uncle Sam
not only ~ save. but 20 purchase from f.
81 several million dollars profit. II our
government D. 70 go Into iand-grabbine
~ business. b. the way me grievance
81 fhe Maritime Company migbt AFFORD "a
90 opportunity 10 beuryo.muy sssimilafo
h'"s'Ss1s an1 rasis ifiea. and tlus rs.
'pofr al esnns - cg9te ntiga respelt lng
k4Elis " Bay fgr ise csBsL
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30

Edna May. the chorus girl who has so
quickly become a star of the footlights,
finds it difficult TO secure a divorce from
Fred Titus, the bicycle rider. This is ex-
ceedingly disgusting to Edna, who is now
in London. If she had her divorce, it is
said she would stand a fine chance of
marrying duke, or at least a lord.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30

Admiral Dewey thinks the fact that he
will oppose" Mr.. Bryan at Kansas City for
the Democratic nomination for President
ought TO be sufficient to show where he
stands on political questions. Is it to be
inferred from this that the Admiral wish
es it to be understood that he is opposed
10 free silver and in favor of expansion?
That would appear to be about the size
of IL.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-30
CURRENT COMMENT.

THE New York Journal of Commerce
Qnd) says: lone of the unexpected re-
suits of the new currency law is the sur
render of large amount of bonds by in
dividual holders for exchange for the new
twos. 1t was not supposed that this ex-
change would be advantageous to any one
except for the purpose of securing circu-
lation. Thus far, however, $44, 100000 of
Old bonds in individual hands have been
offered for exchange. Rather more than
half of this quantity is believed by the
treasury to be in the interest of banks.
but something over $2O,OO0.0OO appears to
be the result of the preference of indi-
vidual holders for ihirty-year bonds over
bonds that will mature within the next
few years, even though the long bonds
carry but per cent interest"
The Philadelphia Record Dem.) says:
Those who know the Ohio senator best
simply shrug their shoulders when told
that he paired against the claimant be-
cause he was convinced of the unconsti-
tutionaisy of Quay's appointment. Two
years ago. when Hanna voted to seal Cor
bett of Oregon. his constitutional scruplee
had not developed. But airs well that
ends well. 1t is a shame to inquire too
curiously into statesman motives when
he happens to have done the right thing"
The Nashville American Dem) SAYS:
"Whlle the platform adopted by the In
diana Republican Convention fights shy Of
the name Of Porto Rico il 'unhesitat-
ingly' approves OF the policy OF gthe ad-
ministration and the legislation enacted by
Congress IN regard 10 our newly ac-
qulred possessions This was done TO on
set the claim that Indiana Is n doubtful
siate, but II may result In adding 20 the
Republican discomfort In the state"
The Washington Post Qnd) says: IF
Admiral Dewey submits 20 a non-union
Chicago reception the position OF Presi-
dent Mckinley viii be rather delicate
II wiz be- recalled that the President IA
IN honorary member VI che Chicago Stone
Cutters Gnion."