The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-08-26
Va OOSIOA A0O1I ISOS to Be Alone

had the choice of leaving this world or
staying in its most endurable dark cell,
and I chose to stay. Doubtless it was the
pusillanimity of a man of the world. The
only result that is worth telling is this
that, if a man manages it properly, he
can rob the dark cell of all its horrors
! and get comfortably out Of the world
without bothering the undertaken. But
| why pursue that figure any longer? The
dark cell belongs exclusively to the pu-
nitive side Of mans hallucination MY
! experiment was at first very much like
the dearth of midnight for the glare and
! shock of the world had been shut off,
But no sooner had I accepted the loss
obediently and the dark of isolation had
| encompassed me than the stars came
out one by one and, as my little world
receded, the universes whispered to me
across the eternal gaps. These sibylline
voices are very restful when your ear is
once purged Of the artificial cIang and
has recovered its primal vibrations.
LOOKING FOR NEPENTHE.
Had been an artist or an entomolo-
gist my equipment would have enabled
me to defy the ennui of solitude But.
alas, was neither. could not come to
nature like the gifted robber, who steals
her secrets and Jugs them off to his gal
lery like so much plumber, with the HER
oglyphs rubbed off. That admirable ma
rauder whose mission it is to inform ma
ture how TO do it is sustained in swan1ps
and deserts by a missionary fervor.
had not even the warrant of that other
n ,a
nature with a gun, and kills even when
he cannot eat, with a robust masculine
joyousness. That superior quality which
in the entomologist is called analysis.
and which can box the compass Of a bug
when he is properly pinned down, with
the dismembering acumen Of a musical
critic who tears the quivering semi-qua-
vers from symphony and lays them
out to dry in a criticism-that wonderful
gift has been denied me. T was myself
pinned down by nature to dull. obedi-
ent synthesis. I was born 50 barren Of
the divine mastership that I believed
most musical criticisms were the at
tempt to explicate an implication-that
music was not made to be analyzed Or
explained, any more than a prayer. but
to be accepted and obeyed. Such spirit
as nHhe would never have conquered the
earth acknowledge it. The only ques-
tioHis, could such a spirit understand the
earth, and would the world say anything
confidential to it? I was under constitu-
tutional bonds not 70 interfere, but to
listen. I was looking for Nepenthe.
Something said to me it is not drug,
but an adjustment. Perhaps it was the
doctor. I was not to disturb anything in
the laboratory.
dare say I astonished my new en-
vironment both Of animate and inanimate
nature. Perhaps it was not accustomed
to such a spirit as mine. Now that 1
look back at the experiment, I can fancy
nature saying: What have we here? Is
this our lord and master, or has an in
valid Francis Of Assist come out of Wall
street; does not want to put our birds in
cages and our flowers IN a herbarium 10
corrOborate his own theories; does not
want to cut anything down or tear any
thing up: can he be entirely human?
Perhaps when he dies, If he ever should,
he viii refuse TO be put in a casket and
viii let us get at him, atom by atom,
and lift him benignly along in our pro-