Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-05-01

~~~~~~~~~~"O~<S~>~O
Rev. DR.. William Bliss, of Pasadena,
Cal, is the head of a new school of po-
litical science, Of which the chief fea-
lures are direct legislation and the
initiative and referendum. His lead
ing followers are college men and ped
agogues. One of them said lately to
a Los Angeles woman: 81 do not under
stand why DIR. Bliss friends should be
exclusively learned men-especially
scientists" "Why, Tom Moore ex-
planned that long ago." was her quick
answer; .they have turned from the
bliss Of science to take up the science
OF Bliss"
Oliver Wendell Holmes enjoyed that
humor best which was of his own pro-
duction. On one occasion he was hold
ing forth at great length on the SUBJ
ject of cannibalism, and having wound
himself up to the proper pitch he turn
ed suddenly to Thomas Bailey Aldrich,
who was sitting near him, and asked:
"Imagine! What would you do If you
were to meet a cannibalY' 81 think" :"
Mr.. Aldrich sweetly replied, that
should stop to pick an acquaintance
with him." This rejoinder cast such
a gloom over DR.. Holmes that during
the rest of the dinner his conversation
was limited to monosyllables.
In one Of his farces, Glen McDon-
ough had written two or three lines
to be spoken by a chorus-girl. The
cvix 70 hoe
teur, who looked well and would do.
At the rehearsal the girl made her way
to McDonough, who held the book, and
said: "Mr. McDonough, have a line
in the first act and one in the third.
Couldn't you write me one for the sec
ond act, tooY McDonough thought a
minute, looked at the girl, and said:
"Yes; in the banquet scene you enter
and say, Here is the ham," "Oh, do
1 bring the ham on with me?" mo, my
dear; it is not a speech, 1t is a confes-
sion."
A travelling American made a visit
to Greyfriars churchyard at Edinburgh.
The sexton, was q man of Aberdeen
shire and his heart was in the high
lands, plainly. The visitor had been
at Greyfriars before and said to the
sexton, as the old man pocketed his
fee: Il have seen your highlands since
1 was here last" "Oh," said he, with
inimitable highland infection; land
had We never been there beforeY
mo. 1 have never been in Scotland be-
fore. live in America" "Oh! 'Tis a
graund country. that" America? 1t
is, indeedv The old man looked up
in utter surprise. "Nay, nay" he said,
impatiently, 'the hielands. A graund
country
Illustrative Of the dirtiness of the
Afghan, 1t Is said that on one occasion
General Roberts captured a native
who was so exceptionally dirty that it
was thought necessary, for the safety
of the whole camp, that he should be
washed. Two Tommy Atkinses' were
told of for that purpose. They stripped
the prisoner, and scrubbed him for two
hours with formidable brushes and a
large quantity Of soft soap. Then they
threw down their brushes in disgust
and went to their captain. "What is it,
men?' "Well; sir" they replied, some
what excitedly, "we've washed that
ere Afghan chap for two hours, but it
warn't any good. After scrubbing him,
sir, till our arms were like to break,
blessed If we didn't come upon another
suit of clothes"
1t was great thing for an under
graduate to be taken for a walk by the
late Prof. Jowett, and some Of the
young men were quite overpowered by
the honor. One such. after they had
been on the road half an hour, ven-
tured to remark: mice day, professor" !"
"Do you really think so?' was Jowett's
far-away rejoinder. Another half-hour
passed, and the boy stammered out:
"Nice road, professor" do you really
think soY' Jowett again rejoined. The
matriculate wanted to run away, but
he was q moral hero, and In another
half hour managed to say: "Clouds
seem to be filling up with rain, pro-
fessor," to which he again got the
crushing answer: do you really think
so?'' The young mans sufferings were
at an end, however, as they were now
back at the college grounds, where
Jowett turned to bid his companion
good-by. well, young man." he said,
1--WE have been walking for several
hours, and everything you have said
has been as stupid as it could possibly
be-" do you really think SOP re-
piled the young man. The professor
=
then, with genial smile, warmly
grasped his hand. There was no lack
of conversation in their subsequent
walks.
Get over your little annoyances by
recalling how trivial they would seem