The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1900-08-17
HUMoR in ENGLISH SIGNS.


Apt Quotations Used by Tradesmem
to Attract Attention.
There is quite a harvest of wit and
wisdom to be cleaned by the observant
eye from the notices with which
tradesmen seek to attract custom, and
! 1t might also be worth the while Of
out of the way things to make col
lection of these wayside gems, many
of which blush almost unseen Many
of the cleverest of these notices which
the writer has added little by little to
his collection consist of really witty
adaptations of well known quotations
and proverbs.
An enterprising cycle dealer in q
Yorkshire town, whose name is Net
tie, turns his prickly cognomen to
business account in this singularly apt
quotation from Henry w. tout Of
this nettle danger l pluck the flower
safety" while costumer in the same
town, whose sympathetic name is
Love, informs his customers in let
ters half a foot long that Love hath
large MANTLE" If capacity be vir-
tue in nantes, Mr.. Love deserves to
have a large sale.
provision merchant, again in
north country town, turns the same
name to useful account by this an
nouncement, which "speaks for itself"
George Herbert says Love is a per-
sonal debt but this Loves terms are
strict cash.
| Business rivalry often develops quite
| unexpected resources Of wit and wis
dom in men of business A few
| months ago a grocer and provision
dealer called Little had a practical
monopoly of the custom of a small
town in the Midlands, when, to his
natural annoyance, rival settled in
the place and opened shop under the
name of John Strong. Within a few
days this dignified protest appeared
in the outraged grocer's window: MAN
wants but LRtle here below Gold
| smith,. But fAe newcomer was man
of at least equal learning and powers
of quotation, for on the following day
this supplementary notice appeared in
his window: Nor wants that Little
long" (Goldsmith).
A similar story is told of two rival to-
bacconists, the latest conner of whom
was named Farr. He opened fire on
his opposite rival by placing in his
window this notice: 1.-THE best tobacco
by Farr." Within few hours his RI
walls window blossomed into one large
announcement: Far better tobacco
than the best tobacco by Farr."
Perhaps smarter still were the rival
| notices of two watchmakers, one OF
whom was called l. Wise. Mr.. Wise
had adopted as his business motto, "He
is Wise that's wise in time" To this
the newcomer retorted by this quota
ton from Wordsworth: HE is oft the
wisest man who is not Wise at ALL
Many business men make attractive
advertisements by humorous play on
their names when they lend themselves
to this purpose The proprietor of a
wayside inn in one of the home coun-
ties makes clever use Of his name,
Day, to attract custom. On a swing
| ing sign, under a highly colored pic
ture of the rising sun, appears this leg
end in gilt letters:
Won't you come into my parlor,
Gentle stranger, pray,
For your have to travel farther
To pass a happier Day
Another publican who boasts the Gu
riously inappropriate name of Isaac
Drinkwater has adopted this motto:
Il. Drinkwater, but my customers
drink the best of ale"
Mr.. Knott a draper in west coun-
try town, makes this appeal for Gus
tom: MANY diapers are extortionate
in their prices. am Knott" And not
many miles from Mr.. Knott is village
tinker whose name Is Dunn and whose
modest motto is, What is done is done.
but it's not well done unless it's done
| by Dunn"
| BY no means the least clever of these
humorous trade announcements was
| that of a bookseller called Hart who
| supplied for many years all the books
used in local grammar school. Mr..
| Harris business motto was this couplet:
Who in liies race would fain a good start
| Should always get his 'books by Hart
London Tit-Bits.