davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
THURMONT Frederick County, Maryland Thursday September g. 1900


William NJ. Evarts dearly loved
joke-so dearly, indeed, that once, when
secretary of state, he came nigh upon
being the death of one Of his subordi-
mates. A consul in the West Indies
wrote home stating that his health In
that climate was bad and asking for a
transfer. At that time there happened
to be a vacancy In northern Sweden,
and to it the astonished and dismayed
consul was transferred instanter by
Mr.. Evarts. 1t was not what he had
barganed for, and, as an icebound
winter was change that would have
meant translation for him to another
sphere, the secretary finally relented
and gave him berth elsewhere.
At one time In the department Of
state new elevator man had been en-
ployed who did not know Mr.. Evarts
by sight. In his car was conspicuous
sign to the effect that by order of the
secretary of state smoking was prohib-
ited. Late in the day the secretary
boarded the car In company with fa-
nous senator, the latter smoking ci-
gar. The new man promptly touched
the smoker on the elbow and said,
pointing at the notice, Cant you read
that sign?" Mr.. Evarts promptly tore
down the offending notice and, turning
to the elevator man, said: what sign?
l don't see any," The attendant sus-
pecting something, wisely held his
peace, but he followed the pair out
and asked the guard at the door who
the little chap with the large head
WINS. The guard told him.-New York
Trihuno.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
The Hiters Bit.

"See that party with the jag sitting
In the corner of the carr" said Il con-
ductor who was riding to the car barns
In Il Zoo and Eden park car to the con
ductor in charge Of the car.
"Yep. Hes got heavy bundle" was
the answer.
"Well, take this counterfeit half dol
lar with YOU when you collect his fare.
a passenger passed it on me month
ago. If he gives you dollar. you can
shove 1t on him."
The conductor Of the car took the
lead half dollar, entered the car. and
the man with the jng held out silver
dollar and received the counterfeit half
and ~ cents in change.
"Woricd like CHARM" said the con-
ductor as he reached the platform.
Here he comes now. He wants to
get off"
The drunken man wabblcd TO the
door and unStcadily descended from
the car.
"Now We'll split up" remarked the
conductor Of the car as he drew the
dollar from his pocket. And as both
Of the conductors gazed at the silver
dollar they gasped in unison: Were
up ag'in It. It's n counterfeit dollar
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
THE
NEW YORK WORLD,
Thrice a Week Edition.
8 Pages a Week
i56 Papers a Year.
FOR ONE DOLLAR.
Published Every Alternate Day
Except Sunday.

The Thrice a.Wcek edition of the New
York World Is first among all weekly" pa
pers in size, frequency CT publication, and the
freshness, accuracy and variety of its con
tents. 1t has all the merit of great Sc daily
at the price of II dollar weekly. Its political
news is prompt, complete accurate and I'M
partial as all its readers will testify 1t is
agains, the monopolics and for the people.
1t prints the news of all the world, having
special correspondence from all important
points on the globe. 1t has brilliant illus
trations, stories by great authors, capital
humor page, complete markets, departments
for the household and womcn's work and
other special departments Of unusual inter
est.
We offer this uncqunlcd newspaper and
The CATOCTIN CLARIoH together one year
for $1Gj
The regular subscription price Of the two
papers is - 90.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06

Stark naked savages, with long,
creased plaits of hair hanging down to
their shoulders, were perched on every
available inch of the carcass, hacking
away with knives and spears, yelling,
curslng and munching, covered with
blood and entrails: old men, young
men, prehistoric hags, babies, one ana
all gorged or gorEing, smearing them
selves with blood, laughing and fight
ing. Pools of blood, strips or hide,
vast bones, blocks Of meat, individuals
who had dincd not wisely but too we'll
lay round in bewildcring confusion.
and in two short hours all was finish
ed. Nothing remained but the great
gnunt ribs, like the skeleton of ships
wreck, and few disconsolate vultures
perched thercon.-E. S. Grogan Before
the Royal Geographical Society.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06

It was on q Seventh street car that q
well dressed man carried his hand to
his Jaw now and then and uttered a
stifed groan. After bit fellow pas
senger had his curiosity aroused and
brusquely queried:
"ToothacheW
"Yes"
'T've been there and know oil about
It. If she's holler and has the jumps,
1t amt no usu fooling around. What
you want to do is to 60 to dentist"
"Um! Jerusha, but how 1t actesw
"Go right to the dentist and have 1t
yanked out. Man with the toothache
always feels a little scared about hav-
ing it yankcd, but that's NIL imagina-
ton, you know"
"I'd rather be shotv' groaned the suf-
ferer.
"Oh, pshaw! Go to some dentist
who gives laughing gas. He'll give you
gas and take the tooth out without
your knowing It, I pledge you my
word that 1t won't hurt any more than
pairing off n finger nail"
"Um! What a liar! G'way from
me-"
"Why, man, l pledge you my word
that you'll never
Don't talk to me! know all about
It! I've been dentist myself for the
last Is years!"
"Oh, you have" growled the other
ns he backed away. well, that's diff
fercnt. 1t will not only seem to you AS
IL your blamed old head was being
pulled Off your shoulders, but your Jaw
will ache two weeks after, and I'm
burned glad of 1t too!'-Washington
Post
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
Not To He liacnurnGe z e d .

Polite society" Is often at its wits
end to devise means of getting rid or
people who are not wanted as callers
or visitors but who will not take a
hint, for polite society cannot say IN
SO many words, II do not want you to
come again" A French paper repeats
this dialogue between two ladies:
"And so you still receive that dread
full Nine. Comeagain"
impossible to get her to take hint!
Do YOU know, the last time she called
never offered her Il chair!'
"And what was the resultY
"Result? Why, the next time she
came she brought folding camp
Stoolp'
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
by a Modern I1sOp.

In the days when Children under
stood the language Of Everything
Boy was telling his Troubles to the
Eggs.
"They always Beat me-" he Com
plained, "unless am Good"
"They will not beat u.s." observed the
Nggs, "unless we are Good"
Moral.-There must be some Mistake
In those Jokes about Omelets.-Balti'
more American.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
1887 1887 THE sun. 1900 1900
BALTIMORE, MD.
The Paper of the People, For the
pie and With the People.
Honest in Motive Fearless in Expression
Sound in Principle.

A newspaper is an educator there are all
kinds Of educators, but the man who spends
money judiciously and libcrally is better able
to impart his knowledge than the man who
has little or nothing to spend
The Sum is the highest type of newspaper.
Tile Suns reports from all parts of the
United States are unsurpassed
Tile SIMS cable service is the finest knOwn;
the troubles in the Philippines and in South
Africa demand competent correspondents
and vast expenditure of money and labor in
getting the news. When you get The .SVn
you get news and intelligent presentation OF
facts with it. as well as carefully prepared
articles of fcditorialwritcrs )fhighest standing
When you read daily paper whose principal
recommendation is its chcapness, you get the
dregs- generally very poor dlegs at that.
BY mail so cents a month; six months So;
one year, So.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
TRAINS GOING EAST.

Leave Rocky Ridge for Emmtsburg at
S26 and 10 50 a NJ, and 8 81 and 6 3G p N.
Leave Edgcmont for Waynesboro and
Chambcrsburg at 05 Il m, and for Ship
pcushurg at II 80 a NJ, and 30 p IN.
Leave Hagerstown for Cherry Run and
points on Potomac Valley Railroad at 10
IL m and II 0S and s 0S p m.
Leave BrucevlIle tor Frederick at 8 80, 0 81
and 10 40 m and 8 3S and so p M, and for
Littestown, Taneytown, Wrightsvillc and
Columbia at AZ IN and 8 As pm.
Daily-ail other daily except Sunday.
tStops to land Passengers from Baltimore.
Nj. HOOD B H. GRIswoLD.
cienl, Manager. Genl Passenger, Agcn
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
Possible Examination of 1t,

IL wonder what's the matter with
Willie jenkins? He's been getting into
all sorts Of mischief of late, especially
Thursday afternoons"
"Oh, that's easily explained. That's
the afternoon Mrs. jenkins goes to Il
mothers meeting to discuss the proper
method Of child education and disci-
pline." "-Chicago Post.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
Where He Didn't study.

my gracious" cried the sympathet'
ic girl. Your dog seems half starved.
He looks as If he hadn't had anything
to eat for week"
"Nelther he has, poor fellow" replied
the college student. IL forgot all about
him"
"Why, where was heT
LOCKED up in my study room"-
Philadelphia Record.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
To Swallow His Own Advice,

IT had horrible dream last night
said Huddleston when he came down
to breakfast the other morning.
What was it?" asked his wife.
II dreamed that | was In purgatory
and was made to do all the things l
had told my friends l would do If l
were In their places. "-Brooklyn Life.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
prnctiCnl ApplicntiOn.

certain minister during his dis
course one sabbath morning said, "ln
each blade of grass there Is Sermon
The following day one of his flock
discovered the good man pushing q
lawnmowcr about his yard and paused
to say, well, parson, I'm glad to see
you engaged In cutting your sermons
tw-ChicagO News.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
The Baltimore Weekly Sun.

The Best Family Newspaper.
All the news Of the world in attractive form;
An agricultural department second to
none in the country, Market reports
which are recognized authority;
Short stories, complete IN
each number; An interesting
womans column and Il varied and attractive
department of household interest.
One dollar n year. Inducements to get
ters up of clubs for the Weekly Sun. Both
the Daily and Weekly Sun mailed free Of
postage in the United States, Canada and
Mexico. Payments invariably in advance
A. 5. ABELL COMPANY,
Publishers and proprictors,
Baltimore, Nj.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
Preferred to Have Her Talk.

They were exchanging "reminiscences
Of pleasant evening.
"And what did your wife say when
you got homcf" asked one.
Nothing" answered the other.
Nothing? Well, you were In luck
"Oh, ! don't know. I'd rather dodge
words than some other things. New
York Mail and Express.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06

CaUedts and Re Issues secured; Trade Mark
and Copyrights registered; Opinions given a
to validity and infringement of patents; As
stgnn'entS, Contracts, etc, prepared and rccor-
ded and all business in the Patent Office in
the UNITED STATES and all FOREIGN
COUNTRIES promptly and carefully pros
ecuted. Upon receipt of model or sketch or
photograph of invention with description, |
will advise as to patentabilty free Of charge
Main offices directly across from Me U. S
Patent Office, and attention is specially called
to my perfect and long established facilities
for the most vigorous and successful prose
cution of applications for patent and for
tending to all business entrusted to my care
in the shortest possible time Rejected cases
specalty.-FEES MODERATE and cxclu-
tiye attention given to patent business. Book
ofinfornation and advice, and special refer.
snces, sent without charge upon request.
j. e. LITTELL,
attorney and CounseIl0r in Patent Causes,
Washington, D. c.,
Opposite L, s. Patent Once
YsHtton t5js Paper
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
lhrlOritY.

always try to keep yourself we'll to
the front" said Senator Sorghum to
the young man who is studying poll
ties.
"You mean must be among the first
TO advance new ideas and promote re-
forms"
Not exactly, but you must be among
Che first to claim credit when the trick
Is done and everybody Is applauding."
Washington Star.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06

II eggs would only grow on egg
plants the Incubator would do the
rest-and the poor old hen would have
to retire from business. ss.-Sloux Falls
ArgusI Leader.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
Western Maryland Railroad,

Sc. ..:,s.sss;ss:s :Sss Zts;.s4SaR
C'chcdule in effect June "a, 1900.
TRAINS GOING WEST
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06

The parson adds one to one and the
sum Is one; the divorce Judge sub
tracts one from one and two remain.--
Chicago News
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
/. A. DIpFENDA AL,
DIiA IIIGIS IN
WINES and LIQUORS,
EMNITSRUIsG, WE'D.
ENI NEITSRUKG, WE'D.

Buys direct from the Manufac.
turer. Distilled from carefully
selected grain, therefore is strictly
pure and guaranteed free from
any adulteration. Sold at reason
able prices.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06

For some reason the man who has
no money to buy food Is never seized
with desire to acquire fame by break
Ing all records for fasting. .-Atchison
Globe.
Catoctin clarion., 1900-09-06
Volume XXX
THECATOCTIN CLARION.
CHAS. E.'CASSELL,
Rp1ToR AND PUBLISHER OF
OFFICE-MASONIC BUILDING
East Nam Street.

TrRMs.-THE CArocrIN CLARION is published every
Thursday morning, at SI,oo per annum III a"''h'e
otherwise $12s will be charged. The publishers as
sumes the risk of remittance by mail. NO subs'rip
,ons received for less than Six months nor any paper
discontinued until arrearages are paid ADVERTISE
ments we'll displayed at the following rates
One four nser.lo"s or pssston SO
two months,... ......,...... ZOO
three morths ....... .,...... 2so
six months ,.,.',.5'oo
one ycar,....... t'So
Twelve lines constitute square.
"a liberal deduction made to yearlyadvertisers
Local or special notices cents a line
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1900-01-03

50 well acquainted and in touch with
the wild land interests.
Just now we can do nothing but lay
out our work that will begin in April
and look over our figures to refresh our
memories so the work will be easier
Librarian Carver received a full set
Of typographical maps Of the United
States, Tuesday, 50 far as it is possible
to obtain anything Of he sort. These
are valuable records and are similar to
those that will be made up from the
work in progress by Maine at present
The five following companies, Tues
day. filed certificates of incorporation:
The Brooklne Zinc and Lead Min
ing Company. organized at Portland
for the purpose of mining. with $3.50. 900
capital stock. of which nothing is paid
in. The officers are: President. H. j.
Seager of Brookline. Mass: treasurer,
:. w. Bowker of Brookline. Mass
Certificate approved. Dec. Is. 1899
Hasty. Hammett Benner Company.
organized at Portland for the purpose
of conducting a wholesale millinery
business. with $4,000 capital stock. of
which $500 is paid in. The officers are:
President, II. !. Hammett Of Portland,
Ne; treasurer, Edward Hasty of Port
land. Maine. Certificate approved.
Dec %. 1899
The Victor Enclosure Company. or
ganized at Saco for the purpose of
manufacturing electrical devices. with
$4,000 capital stock. Of which $3.50 is
~
5. a. Bemis of Springfield, Mass:
treasurer. G. +. Munder of Springfield
Mass. Certificate approved, Dec. 2S,
1899
The Enterprise Machine Company,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1900-01-03

for qualification practice, under the
rules governing the same, We're com.
panles B of the LIST and l. of the 2nC
regiment.
1ST REGIMENT.
The following soldiers made quail
fcation scores.
Captain f. \. Chaplin, Co. Il. Port
land sharpshooter. Score, los.
Lieutenant Il. G. Parker. co. Il,
Portland, sharpshooter. Score, 1O7.
Sergeant lie Roi Syphers. Co. b.
Portland. sharpshooter. Score, 1l3.
Sergeant r. G. Mcdonald, sharp
shooter. Score. 100.
Il. c. burlington, Co. Il, Portland
sharpshooter. Score, is.
FIKST-CLASS MARKSMEN.
Private w L. Hatch, co. b. Port
land. Score. 60.
Albert Peterson, 90. =. Portland
Score, co.
MARKSMEN.
Private VIM. ". II. Futz. 60. +.
Portland. Score. 30
EXPERT REVOLVER ARKSMEN
Captain L. \. Chaplin, 60. +, Port
land. Score, u.
Lieutenant Il. G. Parker. co. b.
Portland. Score. 60.
SECOND REGIMENT.
Company l.. Houlton.
SHARPSHOOTERS.
Sergeant II. NJ. Perry. score. 105.
Sergeant +. q. Smith, score, 10I.
Corporal Geo. l.. Clark. score, i'll.
Corporal VIM. Glenn. score, 10J.
FIRST-CLASS MARKSMEN.
+. II. Kinney, score. 81.
MARKSMEN.
Lieutenant f. y. Peabody, score, 81.
Corporal l. +. Wallace, score. &c.
Private j. f. DiCkerson, score, y.
Private I. J. Brown, score. 81.
Private Geo. McIntire, score, Sc.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1900-01-03
AMUSe M EMS.
Uncle TOMS Cabin" Toniqht.

The mere fact that the play to be
presented, this evening. in Meonian
nall is "Uncle Toms Cabin" assures
a great audience and a good time to
those who go. There is nothing new
in the play either in its name or in the
plot. but there is always something
new in the way in which the Stetson' S
aggregation presents it. They have
the genuine colored people who make
the plantation scenes exceedingly real
istic In addition to Uncle Tom $
Cabin" which is used as q vehicle to
carry along the long list Of sweet sing
ing chorus and s0loists Of the colored
people. and the clever comedians, there
is Il great cake walk a feature which
is always pleasing.
The Journal might give press notices
of the performances as they impress
themselves upon the minds of the press
in other parts of the United States
where the company travels. They go
in their own private cars and it is man
aged something after the style of a
circus body, with the well-knoWn Leon
Washburn, the circus manager, in
charge.
Already the sale of seats has begun
and like on every other year when this
company has visited the city they will
probably be greeted by a good crowd.
/. is not as though this was the first
visit of the company. They have been
here before several times and their
work is known. only they claim to have
now specialties and attractions never
before presented here
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1900-01-03
Fire and
Cafarv.h

If there is fire in your cellar you put it out
with water. If the flames are in the kitchen
you use water again. If the fire is located in
the second story, water is the agent to subdue
it. If in the attic, water is still your saliva
ton. Fire is fire, and no matter where To-
Gated, water puts it out
Your body is house of many stories. 1t is
lined throughout with a marvelously sensitive
MUCOUS membrane. Whenever this mem-
brane becomes irritated or inhamed, the result
is Catarrh. When you catch cold, you have
Catarrh of the head, or eyes, or ear or nose
Bronchitis is Catarrh of the bronchial tubes
Pneumonia is Catarrh of the air cells of the
lungs. Consumption is Catarrh of the lungs.
Heartburn and Dyspepsia are Catarrh of the
stomach. Kidney troubles are Catarrh of the
kidneys. Biliousness is Catarrh of the liver.
Leucorrhoea is Catarrh of the pelvic organs in
women. Almost everyone has Catarrh in
some form.
Pe-ru-na is the name of a medicine that
cures Catarrh in any part of the body, the same
as water extingushes fire i'll every part of
house. 1t is long tried specific for Catarrh
in every complication and phase 1t restores
the delicate pink membrane that lines the in
side of the body to a perfectly normal cond-
ton, and thus makes the sick well. 1t is
universal remedy for that universal disease
Catarrh. 1t is the only true Catarrh cure
known to medical science -..,.s.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1900-01-03

In fifteen minutes with only cake of Ivory Soap and water
you make better cleansing paste than you buy
Ivory Soap Paste will take spots from clothing; and clean
carpets kid gloves slippers patent enamel leather
Shoes leather BELTS painted woodwork and furniture
special value Of Ivory Soap in this form arises from that
be used with damp sponge cloth many articles
that cannot be washed because they will stand appca
ton of water.
DIRECTIONS FOR MAKINGT and
shaving
thoroughly dissolved in not well
HocrH soA~ntc ocncssA
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1900-01-03
Concert in City Hall. Ian. 8.

The New York Herald says of Mr..
Handel Hastings. who is to appear at
city hall, Augusta, Jan. 8, with the
Callahan grand symphony orchestra:
The name of Handel Hastings is new
to the American public; but it is safe
To say it will soon be a household word
all over America. His rendition Of the
difficult and ever popular TOreador's
song from Carmen was positively an
artistic treat"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1900-01-03
State Of Ohio, City of Toledo. SIS
/ ( ttg..S ('ntnf,r

Lucas County.
Frank J. Cheney makes oath that he IS
the senior partner of the firm Of r. J.
Cheney 4 Co. doing business in the City
of Toledo, county and state aforesaid.
and that said firm will pay the sum OF
one hundred dollars for each and very
case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by
the use Of Halls Catarrh Cure
FRANK j. CHENEY
Sworn to before me and subscribed in
my presence, this 9Th day of December,
a. D. 1886.
tSeal) a. W. GLEASON.
Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally
and acts directly on the blood and mu-
cous surfaces OF the system. Send for
testimonials, free.
F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 15c.
Halls Family Pills are the hest
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1900-01-03
A Card.

We the undersigned. do hereby agree to
refund the money on a so cent bottle of
Greenc'- Warranted Syrup of Tar ii II
fails to ,ure your cough or cold. We also
guarantee a 2F-cent bottle to prove sat
isfactory or money refunded.
Blwd.tch & Webster. Kinsman & Co.
F.NCourtemanche. OK. Partridge.
Arthur Tetrault. Temple Pharmacy.
John Coughlin. Augusta
a. 3. Hutchinson. Hallowell
Robinson & Co. Chas. Ward & Co.
C. H. Beane. Gardiner.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1900-01-03
PADEREWSKI.

Only Recital city Hall, Portland,
Wednesday afternoon. Jan. >. Reserved
seats, $3.50 and SIN Admission, $l.00. On
St Half fare on all railroads to ali hold
ing "padcrcwski' tickets. Telephone ll9
does div
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1900-01-03

The railroad commissioners will be in
session. today, at their office.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1900-01-03

The fish and game commissioners
have appointed a hearing to be held III
Newport. at the Shaw House, on Mon
day. January s, on the petition for
closing Sebasticook lake to ice fishing.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1900-01-03
AMMUNITION.

Acting under orders of June 2%rd
from Your office. appointing Col. r. I.
Harrington. Maj. W. Q. Peterson anu
cant. w A. Paul a board TO test me
enokeless powder manufactured LOT
use in the United States Springfield
rifle. the board convened at the state
rifle range at Augusta. Saturday. july
/. ana in the presence OF yourSell anu
Gen. w. s. Choate. tested the SMOKE
less powder manufactured and furnlsh-
I'd bv the Latin & Rand Powder 80 Oh
New York. The report of the board W."
made 10 YOU under date of July b. 1871
As stated in the report. we fouhd the
povtier satisfactory and well htted III
usn in the Springfield rife we dld
MOI advise its use the past season. l"l
the reason that the State had SuiiIcieiit
ammunition for the guard on manu-,
~ insisting of cartridges ana uilliA.'
ammunition. We did anticipate th'
use of il in 1900 but inasmuch as tiic
expenditurc of ammunition on hahd w
mast season was small, ! would adN iSo
that the guard continue I" use wv
ammunition which the state Is ho"
nrovided with.