The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-09-30
NEW CROP OF gags. .

Some of thelatest jokes heard from the.
stages Of New. York theaters have the
merit Of being new, and are worth re-
production, as the following samples will:
show, says the New York Telegraph;
Gus Rogers to Lee Harrison, Walking
Delegates of the Snow Shovelers' Union:
What are you doing in , the park in
August
I'm looking around to see that there
is no work being done against the regu-
lations of the union"
You can't find snow In Central park
In August"
You never can tell what you'll find in
Central park.
soubrette- This rain is good for the
farmers; It VIII bring everything up out
of the ground
Chief Joke Passer-T hope mott I've got
two amives buried.
AT a country boarding house,
iGuestAC an II have q sirloin steak
B. Fl Keeper-I'n1 sorry we can't give
You sirloin steak; we weren't expecting
you.
Can I have a couple of hard boiled
eggs?' H. ~
mo, there amt no. eggs"
Weren't the hens expecting me eth
err"
mo. OF. they'd have been laying for
you.
FirstsJester-Do you love your wife?
Second Jester--Love her? I should say
1 did love her, love her SO much I
couldn't live without her.
Whats the mater? Everything in her
nan1e?''
Monologist-I was talking with the
manager about the song Just sung.
asked him if he didn't think it would be
better for me to walk off after that song.
No he said, you'd better run of. /"
THAT wasn't as bad as a song I sang
out in Denver. Tie manager told me to
go and sing it and he'd let me know If
it would do He was better Pleased with
it than I had expected he'd be.
HE told me it would do before I had
sung Two lines. He just looked out from
the side of the stage and said: That II
do I was glad he was so easily satisfied.
That song made one man in the au-
dience so remorseful he tried to commit
suicide. He fired at himself twice, but
missed himself both times. He was an aw1
ful bad shot. 1 know that because those
bullets didn't go anywhere near him.
Both of them went about an inch from
my head
Hank wouldn't see anybody abuse me-
While the brakeman was hammering me
N the eye Hank went round on the other
side of the car so he wouldn't see him.
Scene in a railway lunch room.
~''Wiu that fried chicken set well on
those six boiled eggs I've just eaten?"
''She ought to. She set on 'ern for two
weeks before she died"
''Have you got a good job?"
"Out of sight I'm working in the
tunnel
DO you ever get out?"
Oh yes. They let me out to vote
Regulation for Central park after It has
been purchased by the Rogers brothers;
Throwing stones al the pears under the
tree viii not be permitted.
The wild animals viii be let loose every
Saturday to play with the children.
No child will be allowed TO play with
the tiger more than once
Parties spooning on the benches viii be
careful of the rubber plants.
"a man in my part Of town dropped
fifty feet from window to the side
walk
Heavens! Killed instantly, I sup
pese?''
NO: he wasn't hurt
.'How's that?"
'"rhey were pigs feet.
my wife is fire dancer
Good business; where is she playing
this week?"
ooh. she's booked for the season at
one place"
"Where is she?"
Dead
Did you ever see my fat butcher?'
THAT great big fe!low?'
Yes"
1'oh. I know him wen. Gigantic fellow.
Wonder what he weighs?"
"Meat"
One member of team" whe declares
he is an actor engages the other member.
who says he IS not an actor, to take part
with him in the presentation of a me!o-
drama.
There are sixteen acts to the plav.s
he explains. ..and / kin you once in each
act"
DO you think l win lastr'
flor. an ir.to,.eSti..or ,,.i- ,,,a l., ~ f5,.4