The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-11-29
STORIES OF THE STREET.


Thanksgiving day is the time whel,
! most of the turkeys in this country for
get to breathe. It's a great day and Doc
ley wasn't the first man to find that fact
meet their maker via The Stomach
Route. It's a great day and Dooley
vast the first man to find that fact
out. Everybody celebrates Thanksgiving
Every man, woman, child dog cat and
| fowl-eXcept the turkey of course-can
make pig Of himself or itself without
anybody having any kicks coming. It's
the unwritten law Of the land which Of
tentlmes Is much more forcefu than
statute law. The poor, forlorn individual
who doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving. IN
less he be too poverty stricken, is of
the Kind who doesn't know when pay day
comes around. He's foolish
Talking about Thanksgiving, a wear ago
today, there was a young married couple
living in st. Paul that had determined to
celebrate the day la mode. They had
made elaborate preparations weeks be-
forehand The Benedict had boughten
new dress suit and the young and
blushing wife new dress. They were
going to the best hotel in town-yes stree
and order the finest meal in sight.
WE'LL dinner time found them in the
hosiery. The waiter with a. ceremon-
1ous air, handed the lady a menu card.
There was turkey and cranberry sauce
and OK tail soup and red head duck and
boiled pigs feet and fried halibut steak.
au Burre Noir, and picked lambs ton
que and Clipped beef and pineapple pre-
serves, and thousand and one other
items on the card. The young wife was
embarrassed and so, too, her husband.
Everybody looked at them as much as
to say:
You just got married.
The menu card dazzled them beyond
expression and, as a way out of the
difficulty, the wife said:
I'll take some ham and eggs, If you
please"
Me too" echoed the hubby.
Poor Mr.. Turkey" said man at the
Ryan hotel last night; ''he sweIls up like
Essop's frog before THANKSGIVING only
TO be irreparably punctured when the
Hateful day arrives. When he is being
killed, he gobbles like mad After he IA
killed we gobble him and then, to add
insult to injury, we gobble about it after,
wards and say we got on the outside Of
SO much turkey. He is the greatest
martyr, year in and year out, this coun.
try has got.
Gentlemen, you are talking about
turkey and stutfing and cranberry sauce
and the like. I want to tell you that !
once paid $50 for a turkey, a common.
shadow of a pedigree and a dead one
at that. It's gospel truth
l was in New York. was about to
leave on an outgoing boat for Liverpool.
had been drinking a goodly quantity OF
mildly insinuating wet goods. The very
fact that they were mild made me care
less and, before [ knew it, 1 felt cog
in my internal machinery out of place
Try as 1 would, 1 could not prevent
something inside taking all kinds Of
fancy, gymnaStic exercises. Another
fleeing quarter of an hour and I was
looking for trouble.
"a friend came along and asked me to
come up to his room and have some
turkey. When we got up there he went
out after something and, thinking to be
funny or for some other reason,
wrapped the fowl up, put it under my
arm and made for my coat. l got on
all right-but I got off again. A police
man seemed interested in my welfare
and was strongly DESTROYS of my COM
pany Well, I didn't want to miss my
boat and my Junk of a one-tiue friend
couldn't understand that 1 had just
siIhply flown off at a tangent because
of drink, so the only way to do was to
make proposition.
I'll give you SIS for the fowl
mo. You ought to be soaked.
Ten dollars, and just a shake of his
head.
'sWelI, he kept it up and I had to keep
on bidding until he cried, sold at the
$50 mark"
Two sisters" recently commenced
their first hospital work in a local in
stitution. They We're both young and in
experienced and, consequently, more than
ordinarily conscientious and enthusiastic.
AS though Fate wished to thwart their
ambitious desires for a time, they were
both stricken down with typhoid. One
of them recovered more quickly than the
other and soon was around and about.
One day she sauntered into the room Of
her co-worker, eating an apple.
go give me bite of that apple" tbs
sick one said; "I'u be well by Thanks
giving and then I'll give you a beautiful
present"
80, but sister, if I gave you this apple
you would die and then how about the
PRESENT."
Today both the sisters will eat Thanks
giving dinner with the rest Of the hos
pital workers