West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1900-04-12
BowsER's TROUBLES.
During the Last Hard Freezing
He Went Skating.
But Came 60 Grief as Usual and
Saw Several New Stars and n
Half Dozen Comets.

~'b"' III an hOut OI 50, Dut tns
other evening he got up from dinner
to put his overcoat on and max,
ready to go out.
"Is it your club night ?" queriet
Mrs. Bowser.
81 may go around to the club, ,
he evasiyely answered.
perhaps there's a ward caucus
or something ?"
ayes, mebbe."
Mrs. Bowser didn't press the sub.
ject and after an interva! of five
minutes, Mr.. Bowser turned to her
with
"I'll tell you where Pm going.
I'm going up to the park with
Barnes. He's been at me for a
month. He wants me to show
him trick or two"
ga trick or two about what ?"
'Ice skating. He's got it bad,
you know. He's been out every
night since the lake froze over"
"But you-you don't know any
thing about ice skating" protested
Mr.. Bowser.
Excuse me, madam" replied
MIR. Bowser, as he drew himself up,
"but beg to dispute you. / don't
say that | have had any great prac-
tice, but I've looked into the theory
carefully, and ! think / can show
Barnes and all the rest of 'em a few
wrinkles"
care you going to take an ambu-
lance and surgeon along ?"
"'That will do, Mrs. Bowser.
You'd oppose me, of course, but
don't try to be funny. lam going
to the park. / shall put on skates
and cut pigeon-wings, figure Fights,
Grecian crosses and all sorts of
scrolls 1t will not only be an out
mig for me, but it will take'the stiff.
ness out of that left knee. You
needn't sit up for me-"
eff you are badly injured, l sup
pose they will take you to the
hospital and notify me ?" she
queried as Barnes rang the door
bell
Mr.. Bowser choked back a hot
reply and put on his hat and passed
out, but before settling down for
the evening Mrs. Bowser got out
the camphor, the brandy and a roll
of plaster and placed them on the
stand in the hall where he could
find them on his. return. AS a boy
MIR. Bowser had "shot the skate"
to some extent, and he had conf
dence that the lapse of 80 years
would make no difference in his
curley-kewing about. That conf
dence grew larger and more liberal
every minute as he journeyed along
with Barnes, and he was not half
way to the mark when he gleefully
and conidentially observed
"I'm not after a prize for fancy
skating, but | think I'll open the
eyes of the crowd little before Pm
through. I'll play off at first, but
you watch my zig Gags when get
down to business. I'm pretty heavy
for swan or a gaelic, but think
| can cut few dodges-just
a few"
1t was a moonlight night and the
park lakes were crowded. 1t was
not until Mr.. Bowser saw the lam
that he felt any loss of confidence.
Most of the skaters were young
people, and moving with grace and
agility, and it suddenly occurred to
him that he might have grown a
little rusty in IS or 20 years. He
was wondering if he couldn't work
that left knee off on Barnes as an
excuse when bad faced young
man who was looking on as a
spectator turned and said
Don't yer put 'em on, old
man"
what do you mean, sir ?" de
manded Mr.. Bowser.
"Don'r put on them skates. Yer
too fat and logy Yer might roll
down hill in bar'l, but you can't
cut no pigeon wings on the ice"
Mr. Bowser got mad all over,
and from that minute his determi-
ton was taken. He would skim
that lake as the gull skins the sea,
only with a good deal more grace,
and after the Swimming act was over
be would make that bad faced
young man beg his pardon for. the
insulting words.
"Iow are you going 90 work it 2'
asked Barnes, as the skates we're
adjusted and all was ready.
"ileIl work it wild a aip.nop and
a DUN dun" put in the bad faced
young man. "Say, Gully, when