The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-06-03

The press agent is an Indispensable
feature OF the theatrical business. To
define the stern press agent" one
might say: He is a person who. makes
much out Of little, and something out of
everything; he has imagination in the
place of conscience; an eXtravaga"t
vocabulary, and would have been a
writer Of fairy tales if fate and a
meTcenary age had not made him a
press agent. I have never met Il real
press agent-that is, of the kind one
reads about, but I have often pictured
my first interview with him. He would
rush in hurriedly and in response to
my Good morning, would probably
plunge into his interview without any
preliminary. and say: Have you ever
seen Nile. M, in whose interests
am travelling this season? No? Well,
then you may look forward to treat
which viii surpass anything you have
ever dreamed Of
Or, if it is a comedian he is exploit
ing. he would say: 'AU other fun
makers rolled into one have created
but the faintest shadow of a laugh by
comparison. assure you that after
one look at him, you viii laugh for a
MONTH"
As a matter Of cold calm fact. the
press agent one meets is usually a
quiet, polite sort of person, who I'M
ostentatiOusly pulls reams of closely
typewriter matter out of his pocket
and diffidently remarks:
You may be able 10 use a little of
this. II may give you a small amount
of desired information"
OF course, there are different types in
ola in oil s-Ah Ar.-..o
If you are a woman, they sit down and
try ''jOllying. They say that they
have heard OF you. o, yes, years ago.
The compliment is doubtful, and YOU
look surprised. Then they are en-
barrassed. and founder about, but try
10 square it by saying that a line from
you is worth more than a column from
anyone else.
One never to be forgotten ornament
to his calling was not content with or
binary conversational flattery. but after
he had taken his departure, sat down
and put it on with a trowel." in
epistOlary form. Given in hOmeO-
pathic doses. the contents Of that letter
would have Kept a reasona bic persons
head in a state of self-satisfactiOn for
year. Given all in a lump, il made
one feel like committing suicide for
giving a man, and especially a press
agent SuCu an impression OF RulllDlllIN.
The whole thing proved to be a desper-
ate Irritation with fate, myself being
its handiest representative at that
time, for two weeks after the show"
went to pieces and the fiatterer him
self, with al his company, was strand
ed. All of which goes to show that
woman is not necessarily an easy mark
and 2. smooth tongue does not cover a
multitude of ort-comings
What q place this earth would be tf
the press agents dreams came true. 1t
was not so very long ago that we were
told some particular play made strong
men weep and women faint at every
presentation. Now picture to yourself
the huge enjoyment of an evenings en-
tertainment where strong men pro-
ceeded unceremoniOusIy to weep and
women to faint. If the men were all
weeping and the women all fainting,
the task Of the actor would be rather
a thankless one, to be sure, and those
who were able to remain suDernatur-
ally calm during the demonstration
would probably find their endowment
seriously maTred. Advertisements for
tragedies will soon contain this line:
"A line of ambulances will wait in
front during the entire performance.
and perhaps when we are sufficiently
advarced in civilization, each theatre
viii have a physician as a regular at
tache OF the house.