Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-05-12
JOBSON'S SPRING TONIC |

Last spring. when the crocuses and hya-
cinths were beginning to pop. Mr.. Jobson
harked back to the days of his youth in
proposing method Of treating Mrs. Job
sons annual attack Of spring fever, which
caused her to feel languid. heavy and de-
pressed.
| Its the state Of your blood that causes
that 'dopey' feeling said Mr.. Jobson.
| Your blood's too thick. What you want
Is something to thin your blood. Member
how the mothers Of young ones twenty or
| thirty years age used to make the shavers
take tablespoonful Of sulphur and mo-
lasses for their blood every morning before
breakfast as regularly as the spring came
| 'round?'
Yes. I remember" said Mrs. Jobson.
well. that's what you want - sulphur
and molasses.' said Mr.. Jobson. in his
usual cock-sure manner. Il tell you what,
those old-fashioned remedies were all
right; and il the know-it-au folks Of the
present generation would only revert to
| what they call the 'old-fashioned' methods
Of their fathers and mothers in the proven
ton and treatment Of disease, there'd be
| a blamed sight less sickness In the world,
and lot O. these doctor people would be
driving drays for living; What you want
and what I'm going to see that you take
| for this lassitude, attributable to over
| thick blood ia sulphur and molasses, in
tablespoonful doses, every morning before
| breakfast for a month or So. When you
get through with that treatment you won
| recognize yourself ,
| THAT is probably true, I'll be SO covered
| with boils," said Mrs. Jobson.
"Boils?" exclaimed Mr. Jobson: wen,
what better luck could you possibly have,
/ l beg to inquire, than to get lot OF Dolls
the more the better? II the sulphur ana
molasses treatment caused the appearance
| of the boils. wouldn't that be dead-cer.
| tain indication that you were in need OF
the treatment? Boils, Mrs. Jobson? Don't
| you know that every boil We have is worth
a crisp, new $40 note. and cheap at the
| price? Boils? You've heard that OLD
| adage about their being better out .hah
| in?' 1 know what's good for you. MIS-
Jobson and I don't know how you'd pos
sibly make out If L didn't happen to be
constantly on the lookout in caring for
your health. I'll get a couple o pounds OF
| sulphur on my way up from the ofhce TINS
! afternoon and during the day you can get
| a big jug of old-fashioned moiasses-none
o these fancy syrup concoctlons, renleli-
| Der. but regular old-time black moiasses5
| and Well mix the medicine up tonight, ana
you can begin taking it tomorrow morn
| ing"
"Why, aren't you going to take it. too?'
inquired Mrs. Jobson in tone of surprise
ME take it?' said Mr.. Jobson. What
/ for? What do 1 want with it? I'm feeling
| as skittish as yeariing colt just turned
loose in a field of red clover. l don't need
|
phur and nlolasses three times day and
| enjoy it. Fact is, l feel rather sore over
| the fact that l don't need it, l ike IT,
When 1 was a boy l used to get up early
on spring mornings, SOS to be the hrst IN
| line when my mother was ready to dish us
youngsters out our matutinal doses OF sui
| phur and molasses. I've got the right
| thing. Mrs. Jobson, and youil come TO me
| and thank me for suggesting it to you about
| a month from now, when you'll be feeilns
| SO good that you'll want to go out on the
| front sidewalk and jump the skipping rope
| with the little girls and play jacks ana
| bean bag with en-
| notwithstanding all of which Mrs. Job
son didn't look particular cheerful over
the sulphur and molasses prospect she
| we'll remembered how, as a little girl, She
had often been tempted to run away from
home and become great opera singer or
something because her old-fashioned moth
| er merciessly forced her and her brothers
and sisters to gulp down every morning
| during the first month or so OF spring
| heaping tablespoonful Of the sticky. gritty,
sour-tasting sulphur and molasses concoc-
| ton. She recalled how 1t had always put
| her teeth on edge and the aftermath OF
| boils.
| But when Mr.. Jobson brought home a
| big package Of sulphur that afternoon she
| lodged no protest. Mr.. Jobson mixed the
| mess himself In a big crockery pitcher he
saw to it that she swallowed a big table
| spoonful of the awful stuff the next morn
| ing before DTedh1dSl dHo CNSAy iiAot tAAiiS .
| thereafter at the same hour for couple OF
| weeks He only permitted the treatment to
| cease when a large and very paln1ul DOH
| appeared on Mrs. Jobson's neck.
| Now that the medicines had Its enect,
| said Mr. Jobson with a triumphant eX-
preston, when she told him about the boil,
| you can drop the treatment. It's just as
| L told you. The appearance or the Doh
clearly indicates that you needed sulphur
| and molasses the worst way, ana II you
| were able to view the matter from proper
| standpoint you wouldn't take new, crisp
$40 bill for that boil, OF twice the amount
for that matter"
| The boil caused Mrs. Jobson great misery,
and she had finally to call In a physician
| to attend to it.
| A few weeks ago Mr.. Jobson began to
complain to Mrs. Jobson Of feeling "dopey
| and "all gone" and dog tired and as
having that weary. not-ht-to-live' feenng.
| 81 know what you want" said Mrs. JOB
/ son, with a twinkle In her eye. IL 8 sui
| phur and molasses."
| who, me?" said Mr.. Jobson, for tine mo
ment forgetting his advoc acy OF that soVeT
eign remedy last year Not d m@a a2 3ut
orwell, it's all right. of course
Jobson had suddenly recalled the stand ne
| had taken for sulphur and molasses the
| NV blood's all right I'm overworked that S
| ali, shaving and toiling to keep this estab,
| lishment together. Anyhow, sulphur and
molasses is not adapted to the neeos OF
IL. d
guess I'll drop by the doctor this evening
| on the way up and have him look me over
Mr. Jobson did call upon his doctor. who
| told him that he was all right, and only
suffering from a mild attack OF laziness'
| due to the balmy spring Zephyrs:
| Last Sunday morning Mr.. Jobson began
to feel of a red lump on the back Of MS
neck. He didn't say anything about 1T. but
he kept feeling of it all day. He got home
| from the office early on Monday afternoon.
and he couldn't move his head quarter OF
| an inch to one side or the other.
| "Why, what on earth is the natter" said
| Mrs Jobson, alarmed when he entered the
house with long face and a heavy tread:
"Oh, nothing" said Mr.. Jobson. except
that i've got a triple-screw. quadruple-ex-
pansion carbuncle or tumor on the back OF
my neck-thats ALL
Let me see," said Mrs. Jobson, and she
looked at the back Of his neck.
| why, it's OILY little, ordinary boil"
i she said.
rs. hey?' growled Mr.. Jobson. We'll. If
| it's only little. ordinary boil it's doing the
| thumpingest business for a little. ordinary
| boil that you ever heard Of"
| why, It's not half as big as the one 1
had last year." said Mrs. Jobson.