The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-12-23
Fun Of the World.


Perfectly Harmless
< sg
The Rev. H. . Rawnsley. in the most
recent book about the Tennvsons. quotes
an old servants memory OF the lacre-
ate's youth:
ar Hatred. he was q 'dacious one
He used 10 be walking up and down the
carriage drive hundreds Of times a day.
shouting and halloaing and preaching.
with a book always in his hand. and
suca a man for making sad work Of bis
olothesi
I am told by city correspondent
writes Labouchsre IL London Truth
that n old Jewry last week a party of
}workmen were 10 be seen ousNy en-
gagged. on behalf Of the city fathers. in
relaying the asphalt Of the roadway.
while NOT very far behind them, and
proceeding in the same direction, were
tae min.ons Of the postmaster Eeueral
as diligently taking 1t Up again for the
purpose Of laying the pQstodice tele-
phone wires
Mrs Duncan Stewart described Lady
Beaconsfield as originally a factory g.ri
Mr. Lewis first saw her going 10 her
factory beautiful and with haze feet
He educated her and married her. died
married Djsraeh. When asked why she
married her second husbsnd she wou 4
say. as if il were a feather in her cap.
Ny dear he made love to me while my
first husband was alive. and therefor
I knew that he loved me.
A little boy and giTl. whose mother
was i'll and inaccessible. were overheard
by their aunt holding the following "a
thetic consultation on the subject 81
their nurses uukindness to them.
what shall we do2 said the girl
hopelessly. I'm COINS to ask father TO
send nurse away" replied her brother
sturdy What shall YOU DO II he
won't2' Then. I'll ask God to help
US" But. perhaps God won'g send her
away" Well then, said the little
chap in desperate earnest. "Tu see
what the devll can Go FOR us"
< x
met an old negro, George. by name.
and after the usual salutation. the old
negro said his health had improved since
I had last seen him Said i.
Uncle George how did you get rid
of your rheumatism"
The old man replied. well. boss, III
tell You tes' zaCtly how 7 curhd r. I
heard a fellow say il YOU go and find a
place whar a hog rubbed and ef you rub
dar an squeel Ike a hog your rheumatz
would leave YOU. So. I went and rubbed
what hog rubbed and sQueeied same
as a hog, and, boss. amt had no
rheumatic since"
* x &c
The two friends met after brief sepa-
ration.
50 you are married, are you2"
Yes"
It was SURPRISED to hear It,"
II thought you would be-"
''Who is the bride?"
Miss Thornton"
Wasn't that the girl you met at the
seaside?"
Yes"
you got engaged to her there7"
Yes"
But I always understood that seaside
engagements didn't count"
Il thought so, too. but I have learned
differently. Good-by."
"Good-by."
gg gg
Col William Jennings Bryan-by the
way, it makes him furious 10 be called
Colonel-tells many funny stories about
his experience as an editor on the
Omaha WOrld-Herald. His particular
newspaper chum was r. L. Metcalfe
who is now the managing editor Of the
UdUET
tive on the platform committee al the
Kansas City convention.
Bryan says himself despite his new
that he viii edit and
manage a weekly newspaper that he
was not q glittering success ia the cd
torial chair. i went nearly crazy try
ing to make a politician out OF Met
calfe," be AYERS, and ] know Metcalfe
was ia the same tx from trying to make
an editor out Of me-"
ID
A Durham farmer was travelling q
London to consult "a lawyer, when the
fear struck him that ne had left certain
important papers behind He made a
hurried search Of his bag.
IF I did leave those papers" be re- I
marked, I'm a fool"
The search proceeded. and moment /
later he said:
81 believe it'll turn out I'm q foolt"
Just as he was examining the last !
bundle Of papers, he exclaimed.
i believe itu turn out Pm fool''
A man on the other side of the com I
lowered his newspaper for a (
and said. slowly. and delioer-
ately.
"obIge. me, sir. By laying a little I
money that same way for me"
X
Mrs Kendall is nothing II not impul- 4
siveiy genial. and the TturbabilitF 4
Of certain characters has often "a curl 4
1usly irritating effect upon her She was [
shopping one day az certain weli-knowu .
stores. and having completed her pur- .
,hases. took leave Of the assistant who .
had served her with a friendly Good /
morning" There was no reply In chat .
hard working damsera busy career there
81
zentlenesses Of life Say good morning
ana smuei" exclaimed Mrs Kendai. inn
1etuousiy The girl stared in mute
irnazement Then 7 shall remain here
until you do" said the great actress
he most persuasive but set iu fhs frn-
st tones This was too much for ihe
-irl Good morning she said. ard
lurst out laughing. From that honr
Mrs Kendals appearance a. the store
q QUESTION was the signal for an out
lurst or genlahty
gR
TIE "5oots" ~ an hotel ln Leeds na8
invented new srster ~ calling sleepy
-uests ITS very simplicity 81 lta ssrreme
.ttraction.
The otser night Newspaper nan 0ert
3 the hotel ard eng DESTROYS - Berg
.-ffa5 ~ an early neur teft trEt~fr' cas
sith aoots sarr6sa thaf eferFfa nE
would ~ aU rieHt fhe scribe ard
le1t EarlT next morning ~
.er mar sas dlsaree3 vy fatn
.Es1.. - senaased sharply
.rve rot IN Important message fer
1 sal3 f5a gT ln att11s caf-
Tsunng snt1 ~ r9rafaes fses fae
rrfsr f-uae9 ost - bed trttle1 errors
ee COOK al unlocked taa s