The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-03-04
mr. TIN DOOLAN OF CACHE
RELATES POLITICAL HISTORY

| He louDged into the Office of the manag-
/ ing editor, and after tho usual business
greetings had been exchanged and The
preferred chair accepted, he remarked.
as he noticed the managers inquiring
glance: No. I'm not a shpring poet, nur
l haven't amy jokes wild case hardened
pints, to sell. I'm jist pla-ain Timothy
Doolan. T. J. D., an, I'm down firm
Ca-ache county. where they grow wheat
an Dimmycrats anonymously as me
rrind Alma Ildr' dge nd say.
I've TUX in ali tn sights iv ye'er great
CITY, IT m Patrick Hinry Lahnia 10 tn
Plnitentiary. and be way ~ divarsion I
dhropped in to go over tn polittycaI
situwa-ashun wild ye.
It's gittin' rale injyable to a Dimmy-
crat to see tn Raypublican leaders pom
dherin' over tn problim iv, If two an
two make four an tn people iv this
state can't be fooled any more. where'n
IN Raypblican parity sit off at?'
Their histh'ry's beginnin' to bother EN-.
It's this way, ye see; When Mark
Hanuay finds that O'Brien gifts 5000 ma
Jor1ty in Utah, he sens fr Patsy Lannan,
an he says 'Ye'er the Republican party
iv Utah amt YEP he says
us. says Patsy. Z m tn Sa-ame' he
says. Well says Mark, 'Yeer a da-am
bright lot he says, TO be givin' tn whole
cheese TO that man o Brien,' he says, an
presentiR ye'er frinds wild tn rlnd, he
says. That's a good dale more than ye'
prisinted me wild, anyhow says Patsy
OH yis. I undhershtand' SAYS Mark
Well he says. come into me private
Walt he says, an bring tn coal hod Wild
ye,' he says, an wen soon shtraighten
matters OUT he says.
''Whin they come out Patsy he ships tn
coal bod to Utah be Express, an folly's
hos on its thrail. Mark goes to tn train
W1d him an he says. 'Raymimber, Patsy.
that O'Brien's da-am fool, he says, an
tn silver issues dead he says. An
Patsy he says. 'Divil a line iv me part'u I
ferg1t," he says, Jist kape ye'er eve an
met, he says, an see if I don't shtraigh-
ten tn kinks out iv' things whin I git
back, he says
SO ne comes home, an he invites John
Hinry an Arrtie an Ba-arch an tn
rist' Nv tn lads round TO tn Triboone
orihce, an he says, Me infayrior
crathures,. an polittycal subaltherns. ne
says I've como straight m tn throne
at Washnton,' he says. an I've talked
wild tn king he says. an wud We behave
1t, he says, he converted me to sound
money, he says. Not gold buggery,' he
says, but list plain sound money. 1t
TUX powerful argymint to do it, he SAYS,
but Marks tn laad that can argy,' he
says, an Ia shtumped me so bad wild
his noquence,' he says, that I was con-
WINGED, and brought tn argymint home
Wild me- he says
SO Well abandon tR silver fallacy,
he says, an whoop things up FIR Mark,
! he says.
p" Tn divil.' says John Hurry. amt we
shtandiR FIR a principle he says, in
votn wild tn Dimmyerats Fr fret silver?'
he says.
" Principle be jungswiggled,' says
Patsy. 'Phwat tn diviPs tn use iv haxin'
principles that don't bring in amy in
Unrest? he says. 'Ye talk loike a Dimmy-
GRAFT he saws.
" But phwat tn divil viii ye do Wild
ye'er paaper? says LinSey. we've bin
| boomin tn Dimmyerat platforrum to
! beat tn band he says. PhwatH We say
about it now?' he says. We won't say,
! says Patsy, wen ixicute mastery re-
trate,' he says, it on'y takes a little
strathegy he says, an me hoired man
is a Goodwin at that business he says.
An thin they sinds fr GudWon an