Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-06-23
RED TAPE IN ENGLAND
SOME ELAGR1NT CASES BROUGHT
OUT By TAB WAR.
The Fiend ut lRrgd In Soath Africa-
O1oialisn eta K1mbeRley-F0f.
age for O-YaSht.

| From the London Globe. 81
| A mouth or tvs ago the commanding Of
ficer Of a volunteer corps. desiring to have
| the services OF a Worthy and respected cler-
| gyman as chaplain, sent in his name to tho
| war office. In reply he received form of
printed questions as TO age, birthplace,
character and Qualifications Among them
| was the following: Has the applicant ever
| been in prison. and. If SO. for what Of
| feEse?" The idea of crime in connection
| with his reverend friend seemed so absurd
| to the colonel that he left the question un-
answered. Red tape. in the person of a war
| office clerk, looked at it in different light.
| The blank in the form suggested to him
| only one thing. and that was official. 1--WE
| note that you give no answer to Question
| No. -" he wrote to the colonel. I'VE hope
this does not imply that the person you
name has been convicted. We shall be
glad of definite answer on this point"
Here detachment from ideas is merely
| ludicrous. 1t has, however. another side.
Early in January a battalion was ordered
to the front which was short of officers.
| The colonel. knowing that the twin battal-
ion in India was exactly the reverse, wrote
! to the war office explaining the circum-
stances and urgently requesting that the
| full strength of his command might be
made up by an exchange, the officers being
sent direct to Durham. In great anxiety he
waited a week without a reply. Inc day
before he left his own letter returned
to him, and across 1t red tape official had
| scrawled in blue pencil: This application
should be sent in duplicate" The battalion
therefore, sailed from Southampton short
| of officers. with perhaps unfortunate con-
| sequences In the field But red tape knows
nothing about actually, its limits are
bounded by form.
Even in South Africa the red tape fiend is
| at large. When communication was first
established between Kimberley and Lord
Methuen's column on the Modder river it
| fairly outdid itself. The town. which had
already borne some of the rigors of the
siege, was naturally anxious to hear news
| of the relieving force, or. at any rate, to
receive some acknowledgment that 1t was
invested by the Beers. Greatly to its dis
appointment and Indignation this was the
first message flashed to Colonel Kekewich:
Please inform the remount department,
Weinberg. what is the number marked on
the left hoOf of horse supplied to Sergeant
O'Gorman." To the depressed garrison of
Kimberley this message sounded like mock
cry of their sufferings, but it was merely
display of red tape.
On the authority of Mr. Rhodes another
story is told of oftciaism in Kimberley it.
self. Throughout the siege the military au-
thorities failed to record the death of a
single colonial though locally raised forces
were the main strength of the garrison
Nevertheless, in the Kimberley garrison
orders occurs notification to the effect
that Mule No :. having died. is hereby
cashire Regiment" To red tape a transport
animal of the regular army is of more con-
sequence than many troopers and officers
of irregular corps
An official not so long ago went some If
tie distance from London on public bust
ness. On ms return he sent In bill of the
expenses he had incurred on the journey.
one item was the small sum of threepence
opposite which. for want of a better term
he wrote porter" To his establishment
the bill was returned to him with an init
nation that no allowance was made for
liquors. He explained that he paid the
money, not for drink. but to a station
! porter for carrying his bag to the train.
This was satisfactory; nevertheless, to
save future MISUNDERSTANDING. he was
asked to fill in the item porterage.
When peg to hang overcoat on is
needed In an ordinary office. either one of
the clerks puts it in or a workman is asked
| to do it. Such simple and direct methods
! find no favor in a world ruled by red tape.
| as the following incident illustrates. The
| necessity for row of pegs on the door of
( a room In public building having arisen.
an application to that effect was sent in to
! the board of works. 1t was returned on
the ground that the wrong department had
been consulted. The engineering depart
! ment at Woolwich was next tried, and
| with better success. for in due course an
| official travelled up to London, at consider
| able cost to the taxpayer. to see what was
required to be done This was the prelim-
| mary to business. which. after some delay,
| appeared in the form Of mechanic, who
put up the pegs. Thus a small job, which
| might have been done for a few pence
cost as many pounds in the interest of red
| tape.
A colonial official. who held an appoint
ment In a protectOrate. was offered an
other in the western Pacific, which he ac-
cepted. To get over the ground he had
been given an allowance for horse, for
| age and groom. an allowance which, 1t
| was decided. was to be continued In his
| new sphere of work. Unfortunately a
| horse was not required in group of wide
| ly scattered coral islands, neither was for
| age nor a groom. He. therefore. asked the
| red tape fiend in Downing street If he
might keep a small yacht instead. as
| otherwise 1t would be impossible for him
| to get about. Permission was readily
| granted. and the western Pacific official
| reckoned without red tape. In making out
| the schedule of his expenses he wrote
down so much for the wear and tear OF the
yacht, and much for the skipper. Months
later 1t came back to him with the irate
| demand Of red tape clerk as to whether
he supposed that the government provid-
| ed him with a pleasure yacht. In Justify
ing himself he pointed out that unless ne
| hired man to look after his yacht 1t
| might be stolen on his frequent absences
inland. and in any case he required some
| one to keep 1t clean. He had merely used
the word skipper for want of better term.
| The explanation was perfectly satisfactory,
but he was thereafter requested to write
| yacht so much. forage so much. II was
more convenient.
| Fortunately, when red tape comes in
| contact with common sense it is red tape
| which goes to the wall. A good story Is
| told of a American military secretary who
| devised a system which compelled every
one who went on business to Gen. Banks
| to procure a ticket from a member of the
staff. the presentation of which at the door
| gained his admission. One day burly
| colonel of an eastern regiment came to the
door of the private office at headquarters
and requested that his name be given to
1 L. ,nyr
asked "a ticket!'' echoed the colonel. with
scorn. NO. sir, I haven't" You can't
| enter here without one" was the reply.
| Sir" said the colonel, when Gen. Banks
becomes a puppet show, and I have %
cents to spare, I'll buy ticket to see him
not before" He was admitted.