The Hawaiian gazette., 1900-10-26
SITUATION
ON HAWAII
The Politics Of the Big
Island.
WHAT NEWSPAPERS SAY
Tribune Comedies Wilcox an Even
Chance for Election and
Urges Hard Work.

IIILo. Hawaii, oct. 2O.-Robert VIII
cox, Independent candidate for Con-
Ercss from the Territory Of Hawaii, ar
rived in Hllo on Wednesday, says the
Tribune. He Will spend some days here
inoculatlng the Hawaians against the
views of Republicanism and other false
doctrines. He will then leave for Ho-
nolulu via Kau.
Mr.. Wilcox is not In appearance half
so dangerous Il man as one would infer
from his haole-destructive speeches.
When 1t comes to the English language
he is rather short on conversation,
though he has better command of the
language than one would suppose from
his hatred of the race.
However, IL he doesn't talk any more
when he gets to Congress than he did
when interviewed by the Tribune, he
will not prove very dangerous.
An open mass meeting was held at
the fish market on Thursday evening. at
which Wilcox, John Brown, Henry
West, DR.. Russell, and the candidates
of this party for the Lower House,
from this district. addressed the multi
sary for them to do In order to save the
country and bring glory upon them
selves.
THE VER-TONGUED.
Robert Wilcox stands n good even
chance of an election, says the Tribune.
He certainly will be elected II every
man who should have the interests of
the Territory at heart does not get In
and work to defeat him. The speech
to which we refer must be read to be
appreciated. 1t ls too wonderful and
unique to admit of description. AS n
travesty on party issues and bur
lesque on political aspirations 1t would
bring loud laughter to the lips of
brazen image and would convulse an
iron lamp-post with mlrth.
But as a grim reality, n presage of
what Hawaii may expect in case few
votes fall the wrong way in November
1t is anything but mirth-provoking. To
think that the Territory of Hawaii
should send to the American Congress
specimen of intellectual distortion
like this Is almost beyond belief.
One can imagine the sensation that
will run through the august Legisla-
tive body Of this Nation to which we
have been annexed, and the ripple of
interest that will pervade the galleries
when the chosen representative of the
electorate of Hawaii rises in his place,
and with more or less assistance from
some kindly interpreter. proceeds to en-
tighten our rulers upon the Territorial
needs. as follows:
Il am Wilikoki! was not born
from a block of wood appearance OF
the head to the contrary notwithstand-
ing). but from a brass foundry-that
is why l am here.
''All haoles are cockroaches; the rest
of them are snakes. Some snakes are
missionaries. and all missionaries are
snakes. So say let us kill all snakes
on general principles, and incidentally
all haoles.
Il am Willkokl, and the others
Were David and Sam. Before / left
Hawaii to come to Washington and tell
you haole3 what my people don't want.
we had big luau. and Sam and David
were In 1t. They were done to n turn.
Therefore ! say l am the only man
here who understands military tactics.
That being the case I want the Queen
restored, and Governor Dole and the
other haole cockroaches should be
dumped into Kilauea, because the
Board OF Health burned Chinatown,
and Hartwell and w. o. Smith helped |
overthrow the monarchy and annex |
Hawaii to the United States.
Jesus Christ and Wilikold forgive |
their enemies. 80 l will not enter into |
any argument with you here aboutthese ,
matters. You are all narrow minded |
haoles, and Hawalians hate all haoles, !
but If you will give us everything l ask |
for will try to hate you n little more. |
When l go back my people will give |
me a big luau, and / shall have more |
honor than anybody, and l will pull the |
whiskers of Dole and will do many |
things to all haoles and other reptiles"
We have tried to make this imagin-
airy speech as devoid OF logic and CO.
herence as one of Wilcox's own, but |
have not, we fear, succeeded. We have |
also tried to introduce the true Will |
kokian venom and malignity. and the |
peculiar prejudices to which he appeals |
In his addresses to the natives have not |
been overlooked.
POLITICS IN KoNA.
The war horses OF the Democratic and |
Republican parties met at Kailua on |
the lsland-circling trips indulged in by
them, says the Tribune. The Demo-
Gratis held the field first, and from the
wharf as platform they inocuiated /
the multitude with the doctrines OF
Thomas Jefferson. Bryan and McClan-
ahan. When the smoke from the fun
mel OF the Mauna Loa appeared on the
horizon. presaging the approach OF Sam
Parker Loebenstein. and other famous
Republican orators the Democratic
speakers launched out in anathemas,
branding them as menagerie OF
snakes, and warning the Hawaiians
against their deceitful wiies.
Presently the new missionaries arriy- Il
ed and set up their affairs. from which
they preached salvation OF a new and !.
improved brand. W. c. Aehi raised
his voice over against that OF IAltka-