Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1900-04-20
RULES N|1AA STRONG RAND
KING LEWIS ARMSTRONG, WHO is
THE SOVEREIGN OF A NEW
JERSEY TOWN.
He Settled All Disputes-CaIled to
the Throne by the People, Whom
He Regales With Water Melon
Parties, Camp Meetings and 9th
er Harmless Amusements.

For many years the colored settlement
of "Timbuctoo," on the Rancocas turn
pike, two miles below Mt. Holly, has
enjoyed or rather submitted to a NOM
inal form of government that would
appear to be entirely r~epugnant to our
republican institutions. 1t is, in fact,
o limited monarchy, with a hereditary
sovereign in the person Of Lewis B.
Armstrong, who has for many years
enjoyed the title of King" The first
man who occupied the throne was
David Parker-"King David as he
was known from one end of the county
to the other-and a wise ruler he was.
For over forty years he Dossed the af-
fairs of the municipality in a way that
pleased his constituents and gave great
delight to the white politicians on the
borders of his kingdom. King David's
word was law. He settled all disputes
that arose, and when one of his sub
jects came home from Mt. Holly on
Saturday night with an extra load Of
applejack and attempted to break up
housekeeping the King did police duty
himself and walloped the Offended in
fine style.
At the close of the Parker dynasty,
which was brought about nearly 20
years ago by the sudden demise of
King David, due to an overdose of
scrapple, his subjects decided to call
Lewis B. Armstrong to the throne,
as he had long been identified with
the commonwealth, was we'll posted on
all legal matters, a natural born orator
and the owner of a horse and wagon
in his own right. The latter consid-
GRAFTON was perhaps the most power
full one, and the result was there was
not a dissenting vote. For a long time
all went well. King Lewis handled
his people with rare judgment, his
scheme being to keep them amused
as much as possible. He gave water
rcelon parties frequently when the sea
son arrived for that delicacy and al
way kept a bottle of liniment under
his throne for use in the event OF any
of the brethren getting the collie from
overindulgence. Then when the camp
meeting season opened he would Sc
cure irst-class talent and for weeks
the entire population lived in the
woods, sang hymns, ate chicken and
ra1 a good time generally until the
nights began to get too frosty, when
they would break camp and return to
the settlement with enough money
realized from the basket collections 10
IiIGI the religious department in good
shape all winter.
Recently 1t was decided to put the
O-cto Church under the charge of the
african Conference, as this was
thought to be a good move, and would
: -Sult in having a preacher always
E-tailable. King Lewis offered no OBJ
2stion to the plan, as he had been
~9wd enough some time previous to
. to buy up a mortgage on the
Irch, which he thought would give
4 the necessary pull" in the event
any attempt on the part of the con-
ance to oppose his wishes. Then it
9 that the trouble began. Some of
; newcomers in the kingdom were
, 5posed to buck against the King in
the conduct of the affairs of the church,
which made him all the more deter
mined to rule the temporal as well as
the spiritual affairs of his bailiwick.
Finally a faction was formed against
the King, and the preacher stood in
With the faction. The altar committee
wanted to paint a red dado around the
coal scuttle and change the lock on
the boal bin. King Lewis vetoed both
propositions and locked the preacher
out of the church. For a while there
was no religious consolation distributed
in the kingdom, but a truce was final
ly patched up and business was resum-
ed at the old stand, only to be rudely
disturbed a few weeks later at the
opening of the cunning season in the
fall, when some of the members want
ed to present the preacher with a
hound dog and a double-barreled gun,
as he was very fond of hunting and
the rabbits were numerous.
"'Twon't do" was King Lewis's an
swer. YOU'D better pay the debt often
de chorch fore you go buyin' dogs en-
guns for de preacher. I'll give him a
dog myself and you kin hand de gun
money over ter me"
When the preacher learned that King
Lewis had headed off the testimonial
he resigned and departed for a more
promising field of labor, and for a con
siderable period the Bucto Church was
without a pastor.
AFinally another was secured, and all
Ient we'll until the recent night watch
Services, when some one stuffed the
sections overalls in the chimney and
smoked the entire congregation out.
In trying to locate the blame for this
another quarrel ensued, which reached
D climax last week in a rattle for an So
gold watch. which is said to have been