Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-04-15
any expense fur. hair dye"


And also:
1T don't cost nothin' to sympathiza
with misfortune. and if you talk fast
enough they don't get no chance 70
ask fur a cash loan
And again:
GIVE your Teller men all credit fur
honesty, but look out fur coins with
holes bored through EN-.
l was thus feelin content and happy
and tryin to excuse Cain fur not hang
in on to hisself in that affair with
Abel, when l meets up with an old
clitter who's back was bumped IKE
camelS and whose legs was bowed fur
apart. l halted my outfit to 81 him
greetin' and mention the fact that IN
tegrity and a clean shirt hev never bin
defeated as a combina.i,,1. wheA he
says:
81 don't keer fur no integrity bizness
I'm man as can't be bluffed.'
LAS how" | asks.
"As by no critter who is luggin q
grasshopper around in bottle. I've
got sunthin here as will chaw your
hopper up in two minutes by the clock.
1aut up or shet up"
And with that he shows me a quart
bottle with beetle in it and wants to
bet me even up that he will do M
hopper | tried to explain to him that
my inseck was thing of peace and
that | carried him about that | might
study the ways of natur' and adver-
tise my bizness at the same time, but
he was wroth and called me names.
He contended that | WAS carrytn' that
hopper aound to bluff the territory of
Oklahoma and that it was fur him TO
call the bluff When he had offered to
bet me ten to two on his beetle | felt
a speerit of recklesssness ssteal gently
DER me- 1t is speerit which allus
steals DER the best of men when they
are offered big odds. l obeyed the
voice of the speerit and got down with
my hopper and minute later we had
them both in one bottle, AS the in
seeks begun to skirmish around l says
to the oil dheathen, on whose face
there was a smile of satisfaction:
art travelling about in hopes to
make the world brighter and better fur
them who sorrer and are heavy la
dened?"
"Not by durn sight" he answers
with all promptness. I'm takin' keer
of No. / and lettin' the sorrerful and
heavy hearted comfort themselves as
best they kim
But he who is without sympathy is
without friends"
Il don't want any, and you git ready
to hand over them 81. My beetle has
got your hopper on his back and is
thumpin' the life out O. him"
Fur a mint it looked as if my in
seek would be overcome and despair
was tuggin' at my heartstrings. But
of a sudden he rallied and put forth
his strength and it was not long be-
fore the end came That beetle was a
licked inseck. He had met the hop
per and was his'n. As the conflict
was ended | looked to see the old crit
ter beside me pay up and remove the
mangled remains, but he claimed a
foul and hit me on the venerable chin.
Without waiting TO remark that man
cometh up like a flower and is cut
down, / closed with him: and we
plowed up the earth. He was tough
and full lof ambition, but with the aid
of justice l laid him low and made
him pay up. His soul was too full for
utterance as / drove away, but mine
wasn't. | wiped my bleedin' nose with
tender hand and remarked to my
self:
"He who would undo his Teller man let
him beware that he is not laid low him
self"
And also:
BE not pulled up and vaingiorious and
re not overeager to look fur bluffs"
And likewise:
THE man of humility seeketh to avoid