The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1900-05-21

If you fail you may look a fool for five
seconds-they won't give you longer to
think about it-and even then you will
be no worse off than you are now
For five minutes they smoked ciga-
rettes in silence. Suddenly Tommy
Smith gave wriggle in his deep arm
chair, and sat up, with the first smile on
his chubby face that had appeared there
that morning. While devsing juggles
for his friend he had been perfectly
solemn; indeed, they both had been.
After all, as has been stated they were
at the turning point of their careers.
by George!" said Tommy Smith,
I'm much cleverer chap than you,
Joskin. I've got it. How big was the
bump on your head?'
CAS- big as house or a hens egg, to
judge from what it felt like
Half an inch high?" asked Tommy.
"Rather!"
"And the shovel?" A new waiter had
made up the fire, and forgotten that the
heavy and grimy iron implement he
had used was not part of the usual
Smith had picked it up and was thrust
ing it toward his friend. las big as
that?" he asked.
Il never saw the shovel" said Har-
old Josynghame; "the police told me
about it afterward. l knew all about
the bump, though, by then-I couldn't
get my hat on
'Joskin," said Tommy Smith, present
ing the handle of the club shovel, "be a
pal. I'm as near as a TOUGHER a quar-
ter of an inch under height, rather
more than less. Put bump on to my
head half an inch high, and I'm
through the medical like a hot knife
through butter.'
Mr.. Josynghame took the shovel and
looked at him admiringly. MEAN it?"
he asked
Rather said his friend. "I'll take
it sitting, though. Look sharp, before
any one comes in" He sat upright in
his chair. gripping the arms of it and
clenching his teeth. go on. I'll shut
my eyes, if you'd rather"
Sprang The shovel came down on
the skull of Mr.. Tommy Smith with a
sound like cracked bell, muffled, He
gave little gasp.
Harder, old chap" he said, blinking
and little more in the middle. Can't
--you-swing-it t."
Spang! 1t descended again, and Tom
my Smith gasped and turned red first,
then white. A member of the club had
opened the door as the blow fell. He
gasped, too, dropped cigarette in an
amber mouthpiece fully four inches
long, recovered 1t much damaged. and
retired precipitately under the impress
sion that two of his fellow members
were settling an affair of honor with the
fire irons after drawing lots. He was a
gentleman of honor and discretion him
self. and he felt that he had no right to
intrude or to mention it to the commit
tee.
spoke.
"All right" he said at last, with an
uncertain smile and his friend looked
relieved. II saw a hatful of stars that
time. ! should think that would work
it. I'll sit here-fve minutes. Then
We'll start. When we're once there the
longer the beggars keep us waiting the
better | feel my hair sitting up al
ready"
Ten minutes later as they were get
ting into hanson, his friend inquired
how he felt.
II suppose I've got a headache" he
answered. i've never had such
thing before; but the bumps rising
beautifully"
And did they pass their medical?"
And did they otherwise satisfy their ex-
aminers as to their fitness to hold COM
missions in Her Majesty's army? l can
only say that that night short. square
built youth journeyed from his club to
ladging-house in Jermyn street, on the
roof Of four wheeler, after offering to
carry the cab on his back down Picca-
dilly, and that the butler at Josyn
ghame House, Knightsbridge, had to
help one of the younger hopes of the
family up stairs and tell his lady moth
er that much work had made Mr. Har-
old a bit dizzy.
OF their subsequent careers ! know
nothing. Either or both of them may
have toiled up the hillside at Glands
laagte or fallen before the first wither-
ing voley at Magersfontein But I
know this, that under other names and
circumstances and at different times
each of them passed board of medical
examiners by the methods I have de-
seribed. | know it, because I was told
so by two of my friends. AS, however,
one of my informants soon after telling
me passed beyond the reach of examin-
ers in Afghanistan, and have forgot
ten the name of the other, I might al
them and claimed credit for an orgi-
nality that I do not possess.-Pall Mall
Gazette.
ON THE MOVING SIDEWALK.