davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
Dear, Ingenious Soul.

Miss D~oveday Ito her companion on
the sofa)-They are a good looking
couple just leaving, are they not?
Mr.. Wiggiebrane-Yery. Then, af-
ter a long pause and deep introspection)
Il don't mind being plain. Do you.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14

Msggie-Say; Jimmy, wot's Lent?
Jimmy-Dat's when der rich folk don't
eat meat.
Maggie-Geel 1t must be Lent oil the
time Wild us.-Types.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14

Nasal Catarrh quickly yields to treat
ment by Ely's Cream Balm, which is agree
ably aromatic. It. is received through the
n~ostrils, c~leanses and heals tho whole sur.
face over which it diffuses itself. Druggists
sell the Soc. size; Trial size by mail, 10
cents. Test it and you are sure to continue
the treatment.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
DYSPEPSIA CAN Be CURED BY USING
AckER'S

Dyspepsia Tablets. One little Tablet
will give immediate relief or money re-
funded. Sold in handsome tin boxes at
rs cts.
For sale at Fischer's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
Good Enough For Thorn.

Potter-I see they are using castor oil
on weakly house plants in the east.
Dlggs (who has to lug his wife's flower
tubs around the house q half dozen
times q year)-Good enough for EN-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
SICK HEADACHE ABSOLUTELY AND pERmA.

nently cured by using Moki Tea. A
pleasant herb drink. Cures constipation
and indigestion, makes you eat, sleep,
work and happy. Satisfaction guaran-
teed or money back. Is cts. and so cts.
For sale at Fischer's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
How Cute of Him!

Miss Pechis-Everybody seems to
think I'm the picture of mamma. Do
you?
Mr.. Gallandt-Well, l should say a
very f1attering Observation-Disclosures
Press.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14

Doctor-Your wife Is q very sick
woman, and l have my doubts as to her
recovery.
Husband-Oh, she'll pull through all
right. Her dressmaker sent home Q
new gown yesterday and she hasn't tried
It on.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
RED HOT FROM THE GUN

RED HOT FROM THE GUN
Was the ball that hit G. B., Steadman,
Of Newark, Mich, in the Civil War. II
caused horrible Ulcers that no treat
ment helped for 20 years. Then Buck
len's Arnica Salve cured him. Cures
Cuts, Bruises, Burns, Boils, Felons
Corns, Skin Eruptions. Best Pile cure
in earth. Is cts. a box. Cure guaran-
coed. Sold by Fischer & Co., druggists
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
A Taking Miss.

Fred-Miss Budding certainly has a
taking way.
Bert-Um-yes; she has yer prom
ised to take my name.-Philadelphia
Bulletin.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14

"Dear me, how do you do it? You
don't seem to have o bit Of trouble keep
ing your cook"
"Of course not, you see there's such a
| nice policeman on our beat. "-Philadel-
/ phia Bulletin.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
An Important Matter.

elizabeth scared US all nearly to
death by sending back q telegram"
Had she forgotten something's"
"No. She wired US not to eat all the
apple butter while she was gone"
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14

May-You didn't go to the thea tire
with your Cousin Tom after all 1
thought your fiance had no objection.
Mable-He hadn't. That's why I did
not go.-Judy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
The Origin of Golf.

"Who originated golf?"
II suppose Darwin did when he began
looking for the missing link."-Phila-
delphia Bulletin.
EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER. USE
Acker's English Remedy in any case Of
coughs, colds or Group. Should it fail
to give immediate relief, money refund
ed. Is cts. and so cts.
For sale at Fischer's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14

If troubled by a weak digestion, loss
Of appetite, or constipation, try a few
doses OCT hambeETAOI CMFWY WY
doses of Chamberlain's Stomach and
Liver Tablets. Every box warranted.
| For sale by A. C. Ireland.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
Up Axainst Trouble.

"Shall l tell you how to test your in
fluence as head of your familyP"
Eyes; I'd like a pointer or two"
"Try to regulate your wife and daugh'
tiers on reading novels.'-Chicago Re
cord.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
Love of Change,

Milliner-"This hat will last you sew
eral seasons, Miss Flyhigh."
Miss Flyhigh-"Oh, I don't want that
kind Of a hat; show me n that won.
be fit to be seen in about four weeks"
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
The Grown Up Curfew.

well, what did your civic club do to-
day?"
I'VE passed a beautiful resolution to
have a law made that no married man
can be out after 9 o'clock without carry
ing a written permit from his wife,
Chicago Record.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14

Cleanse the liver, purify the blood, In
vigorate the body by using DeWitt's
Little Early Risers. These famous little
pills always act promptly. Ireland's
Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
He Still Waits.

Ham Lett-Are there any long waits
In the piece you are now playing?
Sue Brett-Rather. I've been watt
ing 10 weeks for a chance to look at my
salary.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
No Prospects Of Reform.

What is a delusion, pa?"
We'll, a delusion is your mothers
idea that when she has gone shopping
for all the articles she wants she will
STOP"
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14

II think DeWitt's Little Early Risers
are the best pills in the world" says W.
e. Lake, Happy Creek, Va. They re-
move all obstructions Of the liver and
bowels, act quickly and W grippe.
Tre1and's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
Feminine Wit,

Mattie-Loss of sleep, you know,
means loss Of beauty.
Helen-Indeed! How long have you
been troubled with insomnia?
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
TESTIMONIAL FROM OLD ENG

II consider Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy the best in the world for bron-
chitis," says Mr.. William Savory, OF
Warrington, England. 1T has saved
my wife's life, she having been a mar
tyr to bronchitis for over six years, be-
ing most of the time confined to her
bed. She is now quite WE'LL" Sold by A.
G, Ireland,
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-04-14
0sttans Hack on Her.

For the last time, I ask you, he Missed,
will you give up the notion thai you car
recite melodramatic poetry?
Never, replied the woman, his wife,
pale but resolute.
His face grew terrible to behold.
Then, he cried in q voice vibrating
with passion, II shall assume that ]
can tell Irish dialect stOries!"
Now she grovels at his feet, and i'm
plores him to be merciful but In vain.-
Detroit Journal.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10
DIDN'T SEE MR.. BENNETT.
Experiences of a sunday Editor Who Went
t0P Paris.

From the Fourth Estate
Many stories are told along Park Row
concerning the eccentriclt!es o. James
Gordon Bennett. but few are more char
acter!stic Of the editor than the follow
ing:
The Sunday editor Of the Herald had
offended the editor IN some way and ne
ordered his dismissal by cable.
Mr. Reick, the city editcr, did not want
70 lose the man because he had been with
the paper a number Of years had done
excellent work, and vas an admirable fell
low. He therefore interceded with his
chief and pleaded for the Sunday editors
retention on the Herald, send MIN over
10 ne and ! will show him how 70 become
good sunday editor, Was tie answer
Mr. Reick received.
Mr.. Y. was ordered 10 sail a. once AM
report at the London office as soon ~
possible He only had time 20 pack =
gripsack and reach the pier betOrc The
--ea Ter sailed.
On arriving n LoaIon ne found a mote
telling MIN 10 proceed 10 Pa:.s. Mr. y.
kCrr.ed on 10 the capital. whore another
message told him 10 call UrCu Mr. Ben
On arriving at ne county house IN the
early evening. ne sent bis card 10 Air
Bennett, who requested him 20 make MIR
self comfortable, and hs would see nm
- GRITTY.
A cold lunch was served FOR Mr.. ks
benefit while NJ Bds waiting. One hour.
two hours. three hours passed and not
word from Mr. Bennett. At midnight h
was stlll waiting.
Worn out with his long and hurried
journey. the Sunday editor fell asleep n
has chair, and did not awake until the
morning sun stEeamed In through the
windows
After breakfast had been served he Wa
handed a noe ordering him 20 20 %
HaVrs and report on board Mr. Bennett
y4caL Again the iucki-ss Nj X BOARDED
the train and was whirled away 10 the
seaport town.
The captain Of the yacht had steam CO.
Ehen he arrived, and told him that Mr..
Eenaett had placed the yacht a. his dis
po&al for trip % Marseliles The sun
day editor rad th.s best OF everything g.
eat and drink on tOard the yacht and o.
cupied the best stateroom. He Wss tar
owner OF the yacht Cor the time being
" hen the yacht arrived al Marssllies ne
y a. ordered 20 report a. the Hera,d cfii-r
IN Paris. From thence he vas seat to
London and there ne received Iusfrlc-
lions 10 60 back % New York and report
70 Mr. Reick
instead Of returning 70 his old position
az blpo week, however. he Was made as
slsiant city editor st = salary Of 81
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10
Planned to Trap Bears.

and nurseries are all right in their way.
but I don't believe you can ever make
them popular with Pike County wildcats.
Planned to Trap Bears.
Nonsense. deacon, says Hiram in
patiently. It's not a training school for
teaching the bear cub OF wildcat kitten
idea TO shoot that I'm after. mean 10
bring my active intellect and Justly
famed powers Of miFaicTy into play. Down
al th- end OF the Big Gulch l will build
a Ten with "a little door 10 IT, Then ]
viii git uP a tree and initiate the crying
Of a bear cub in distress. The call will
s-om TO come from the pan. Any mother
. ear that hears il will hike for that pen.
and won't rest until she mas explored the
inside. Once inside, that bear will stay
Until she is exchanged for shekels for
the begefi- Of Hiram Lamrson. And the
same scheme viii work all right with the
wildcats Once let me get my plan IN
working order and any famine in the wild
animal supply can promptly be averted 5y
applying 70 your Uncle Hiram
Il was more than shocked al the moral
callousness Of the man and the way he
giCated over the prospective breaking up
Of happy. If belligerent. families Hiram
LaTpsOn, / said 10 him sOlemnly. it's
playing on the tendeTest emotions OF
mother bears that you are proposing. It's
using the mother love Of unwary wild
cats to draw them into captivity. You
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10
The Chinese Trouble.

From Harper-s weekly
Who hat has studied the past history
and who knows the things the Gaines
have brought forth III matters Of art, let
tiers. stdteCr2ft. and religion. can say
that the Celestial Empire is fit only ~ be
parce.ed out among our superior selves?
No intelligent American AZ least will take
this stand. He is more likely 70 adhere 70
the sentiments expressed Dy Lord Charles
Beresford N his informing and prophets
monograph The Breakup O! China, q"
that all that Is needed n the emergency
which exists and which be predicted. *
honesty Of purpose and a determination
on the part OF the powers 70 preserve the
integrity Of the Chinese Empire Lord
Charles has little hOTe Of the powers out
side OF those dominated by the Anglo
Saxon idea, however for he goes on 10
say. "iuVestiEa lions on the spot have con
WINGED me that the maintenance Of the
Chinese Empire Il essential 10 the honor
as We'll a. the interests Of tie Anglo-sax-
on rae. and / hope that when the Brit
Ism and American people are acquainted
with the facts A. a whole they viii ID
similarly convinced.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10
Understood Animal Nature.

" It's no wild animal vaudeville enter
tainment / am going 10 get up. deacon.
he says. earnestly. Ny plan is based on
the understanding Of wild animal nature
l acquired sitting around in the woods en-
warm summer days when prejudiced OBJ
servers thought / ought 10 be blowing
My muscles weren't very busy then. 10
be sure, but my intellect was working
overtime
i was clean puzzled TO see how Hiram
was going 10 catch either bears or wild
cats by means Of ventriloquism or MIN
icTy. After making me promise not 70
give his plan away, he unfolded his
scheme
During these spring months what are
Pike County animals busiest aboutg' he
asked
Most Of them are devotlug their ener-
gies 20 looking after promising families
OF cubs said J.
To be sure, deacon. 10 be sure an
sWered Hiram, with the air OF d man who
has gained an important point in an ar
gumenL Now take the case with bears
VIII an old bear, an experienced bear
wander into any trap devised for the
catching alive OF unsuspecting brui IS?
But II bear thinks its cub Is in the trap
IL viii blunder righ; ahead, and % be
trapped and exchanged for good money
for the benefit OF an intelligent but over
modest. hunter
Even taen 1 didn't see through H
rams plan ! don't see / argued. how
you are going 10 get your cubs Even the
youngest ard least suspicious OF bear
wives or mothers wilI look with doubt On
your plan OF starting bear creche wiki
her cubs and lis certain no wildcat is
going 10 commit her kittens 70 the tender
mercles Of Hiram Lampson. Day schools
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10

for wildcats and bears. He offered good
prices. but the boys, knowing the litficJl-
ties Of the case didn't take much inU-.gst
in his scheme. So every one was surprised
when Hiram Lampson, who has the repu-
tatiOn Of being the LATEST man in the
whole county, spoke up and allowed he
would furnish the agent with bears and
wildcats enough to meet the demands Of
any ten ciTCuses.
1 amt so foolish as l look said Hi
ram, when / demonstrated with him.
Who is the best ventriloquist in this
county,
You are l responded
And who is the best mimic? he ask
ed
You are, Hiram Lampson, I answer
ed him, impatient ike. And you are
the biggest fool, too. Do you propose to
give an entertainment for the benefit of
Pike County bears, and charm them so
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10

doHs. grind seeds, rub face paint ard
bruise woody tissues 70 aid In breaking
sticks for house poles or mesquite roots
Tor ha-poons, both being afterwards fn-
ishef By firing. The pebble Is discarded
when sharp edges are produced by use or
fracture Their houses are mere tempo
rary shelters, and not dwellings in any
proper sense. Sometimes they are OF
stones piled up and rooted with a huge
turtle shell %
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10
The Boys Clothing.

Froa hzrqrr baE2r-
boys clothes should be comfortable:
his shoes large enough. his collars well
fitting. his suits neither TOO heavy nor
TOO thin for the weather. Fashion should
have little 10 say 20 him. He must own
some Saltable Taiment for church or the
occasional party, but ordinarily be should
not Be- required 20 wear clothes which
prevent MS playing ball or marbles when
the fancy SEXES him. His health will suf.
Ter less from the contact with the muddy
earth than from following the IDEAS q
the mother who requires leathern Ieggias
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10

from ankle TO hip one winter and bare
knees and Scotch kits the next. II Is q
serious mistake 10 demand spOtless cloth
ing from d boy. His temper suffers from
being fused over. l. * we'll enough 10 be
en- prince on occasion. but for most days
boys should be permitted 10 wear cloth
ing which Will not be injured too easily
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10
United to Ayenge DespOiler
of Happy Homes.
HOW HE TRAPPED THE ANIMALS
Initiated Cries Of the Young aud Thus Cap.
tGred Various Specimens for n Circus
But, by Thus Tampering with the Tender
est Maternal Emotions for the sake of
Cold Commerce, Hiram La mp.on Incur
red the Enmity olthe X emaining Animals.

1.-THE intelligence of Pike County animals
being famed all over the country" said
Deacon Todgers, Of Kentucky. empnati-
cally, no one was surprised when the
agent for a U.g circus came early this
spring trying "a collect live animals IN
general, but with a special yearning
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10
WILD SERI GANNIBALS
Traits Of the Most Untamable
of American Indians.
THEY LIVE on TlBURON ISLAND

Race Of Indians on an Island In the Gulf of
California Who DO Not stop Growing
Until over Forty Years of AEe-PeopIe
Who Lack the "knife ~eHsc." Not Know
ina What a CuttinE Instrument is-a.iants
la stature aud Wonderful Runners.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10
IiyphcnaIed Politics

From the st Louis Republic
The Germdn-American vote against i'm
perlaliSm, mllItarlsm. and toryism will de-
feat Mr.. Mckinley for reelection 10 the
Presidency OF the United States.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10

that they viii be willing to let you sell
them 10 any circus agent who happens
10 be IN the vicinity? Your undoubted
talents may amuse a Sunday school class
but they won't carry you so far along the
Pike County Bear and Wildcat Theatrical
Circuit, which it seems 10 be your inten-
ton to organize
Hiram looked quite hurt at my flow of
r~sSTD
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10
The Weekly Post
Clubbing List for 1900:
MAGAZINES.

WIZ fhsu trr rataa
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10

and nurseries are all right in their way.
but / don't believe you can ever make
them popular with Pike County Wildcats
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-07-10
$50 Magnificent Photographic Views

Of the Exposition grounds, buildings. exhibits.
tainS. forests, valleys, rivers, and plains kiosk
arets, towers, and domes; paintings, statuary.
and grand combination OF the progress and
FORTY-TWO NATIONS. The greatest, mo
instructive OF all the Worlds Fairs.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-01-16
STRANGE CONFESSION.
/ hlet Wanted to Return Money
stolen from a Bank Which
is No More.

Racine, Wis, Jan. 12.--[ Special. IA
strange thing happened at the St. Pat
rlcks church parsonage shortly before
dusk last evening. Rev. Father Trant
was seated In his library, when a large
and burly-looking man came to him and
said that he had confession to make.
The stranger then toldc Father Trant
that he was just out of prison, sent there
for crime he had committed 1t was
his earnest desire to lead an honest Chris
tan life hereafter and before starting in
he desired to relieve his conscience of a
load that weighed it down
Some years ago he and his partner had
robbed bank and got d large sum of
money. His share was $4,000 and his
partner had something like $4,000 This
money he desired to return to the owners.
but he did not know what to do as the
officers of the bank were dead and the
bank had suspended. He said he had the
money buried Il short distance out in the
country, that he would go out and dig it
up, and that at midnight he would re-
turn TO the home of Father Trant and
turn it over 10 him.
Father Trant Immediately informed
the police Of the mans strange actions
and conversation. believing that perhaps
it was q job ON the part Of the stranger
to call at the hour named, do him harm
and rob the house of what he could get
Officer Schumacher was detailed on the
case and he visited the home of Father
Trant before midnight and remained in
the vicinity all night, but the stranger
failed TO put in an appearance. The Off
GERS are inclined to believe that the
stranger was some tramp of unSeund
mind AMI that he called at the home of
Father Trant and related his delusion.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-01-16
FINDS RUNAWAY WIFE.
Whitelaw Farmer Has His Spouse
Arrested in Evanston, Ill.
THEY ARE RECONCILED
Money Taken by Woman is Returned
to Husband and They Gro
Back Home.

Chicago, H., Jan pa desire to see a
little more Of the world than is discern
IDLE from within the borders of a little
Wisconsin town led Mrs. Frances Yep
perez of WhitelaW to leave her home,
taking $500 of her husbands money,
and come to Chicago. A woman, said by
the police to be nun, Sister Edmunda,
from the convent in the neighboring town
of Boyd, was her travelling companion.
They had only three days observation of
part Of the world and OF Evanston, for
yesterday afternoon Mr. Zepperer found
his wife in that city and caused her ar
rest on charge of theft.
Repentance then came quickly to the
young woman and she begged her hus-
band to forgive her and take her home.
Iepperer and expressed sorrow for her
part III the affair, declaring that she
would return to the convent and never
leave it again. The police joined in the
efforts to placate the husband, who at
first was disposed to be unreenting.
Mrs. Zepperer finally broke down and
wept bitterly. This overcame the waver-
ING. husband and there was an affecting
little scene. Il forgive you, DEAR" said
Mr. Zepperer, Il fancy you have seen
enough of the world to satisfy your long
ing. We will go home on the next train y
The charge against the woman was
stricken from the books at once She re-
stored to her husband the S25OO less a
small sum she and her companion had
expended for sWeetmeats and some
knlckknacks in Chicago 4 little while
later the man and the two women were
on the way back to Wisconsin.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-01-16
SWINDLE THE STATE.
Made to Pay More than Deceased
Animals, Which Are Killed,
Are Worth.

Fond du Lac, Wis, Jan. 13,-[Spe
cial. l-"There are many cattle owners
in Wisconsin who are cheating the state
every day by taking advantage of the
offer to pay for cattle killed because of
infection by disease" This statement
was made this morning by State Veter-
marian Clute who is here on official bust
ness
You see,'' continued he, when cattle
is condemned by me, appraisers are APP
pointed to determine the value of the
animals to be slaughtered The cattle
owners influence these appraisers and the
result is that the state is forced to pay,
in many cases, almost twice as much,
and oftentimes considerab bic more, than
the killed animals are worth. In one
county an animal worth $40 was killed
by my order and the state paid S43 for
it,
Mr.. Clute was called here because of
the prevalence of lumpy jaw among cat
tie in this county. He says that this
will be his last trip out to attend to that
disease owing to the breaking out Of
worse diseases among Dane county cat
tie. He states that lumpy jaw is not
Conta 0iOuS