davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20

"well, don't mind telling you. It's al
on account Of umbrellas"
cant see the connection" rejoined
the friend TO whom he was talking.
Didn't suppose you could. But you
will when have explained. You lose
an umbrella every once In awhile. don't
your. Put II down somewhere and
walk off and leave lt2'
"Yes; have had that happen to me
frequently
"Well, | used 10, but not since took
TO carrying cane. An acquaintance
In Chicago put ne ON to the scheme.
Get a cane OF some kind he said to
me one day, aud carry II every day
and every night that II doesn't rain.
BY that means you become so accus.
toned to having something In your
hand you are lost without 1t. Then
when a rainy day or evening comes
and you are compelled to carry an um-
brella about with you the benefit comes
In. Say you have gone into restau-
rant and when you come out the rain
has stopped. You walk out into the
street without your umbrella. Presto!
After you have taken perhaps dozen
steps you miss something Your cane
carrying hand Is minus the burden Il
usually bears. Back go your thoughts
TO your umbrella and back go your
steps to get II. Slmplc2 OF course II
Is, but the simple things oftentlmes
prove the most luable"rphlladel-
phia Inquirer
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20

and Hamesp This popular fancy has
been exploded by scientists. whose
work is TO explode popular fancies.
In tue first place. volcanoes are not
necessarily mountains. I'm reality they
are just the reverse-that is. lroles In
the earth's crust. Out of these are
thrown the materials which. accumu-
lating, form the heaps which we popu-
larly call mountains
These are, then, the result and not
the cause of the action. Neither are
they burning" as we understand the
term. There is no combustion, nor any
action we might reasonably call burn
Ing"
The action need not necessarily take
place at the summit for eruptlons are
just as frequent at the sides or even
at the base. The so called smoke" is
nothing more or less than the clouds
Of condenslng steam which are formed
on every OCCASION when an eruption oc.
ours.
Lastly, the "Hames." so called. are
merely the reflection of the mass OF
molten rock and material inside the
crater on the clouds of steam above,
thus appearing as a glowing light The
friction, too, set up by the motion Of
the materials causes electricity. and
hence the lightning discharges which
add to the Illuminating effect.-Pear.
sons Magazine.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20

Sut 1 assure you I'm very Dusy man.
] have TO go about all over my diocese,
and l haven't time to study like you
have. In fact, nearly all my study has
TO be confined to only one book. II be-
gins with a b Do you know what It
isT "The Bible. sir; the Bible" shout
ed the boys all together. mo" replied
the bishop, with a merry twinkle in his
eye. ITS called Bradshaw"
The other story is still better. On
one occasion when he alighted from
the train ut Wheatley, the station for
Cuddesden palace, an officious porter
rushed up TO him and asked. ANY arti-
cles In the van. my lordT Articles"
said the bishop grimly. Eyes, 80 arti-
cles." on hurried the porter and wor-
ried the guard almost out of his senses
by the way he searched the van and
detained the train. Presently he came
back TO the bishop with a crestfallen
expression OF countenance. There are
only seven, my lord" "Only seven7
All, you're Dissenter then, should
think"
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
New OId JaI.en.

"Is there any new joke under the
sunY asks George Augustus Suln. mi
English journalist aud special CORE
spOndent
IL doubt there being one very grave.
ly," he answers and tells two anec.
dotes TO support this skeptlcism.
An intelligent Greek who acted as
Mr. Sala's guide while visiting Athens
related TO him az n modern Greek Joe
Millerism the story OF lawsuit, A
deaf plaintiff sued a deafer defendant
before the deafest Judge In all Greece.
The plalntlff claimed so many hundred
drachmas for rent that wns due. The
defendant pleaded that he never
ground his corn at night. The Judge In
giving judgment observed; "Wcll, she's
your mother. after all. You must Keep
her between you"
"When I got home | found" writes
Mr.. Sala, this apparently up 10 date
triad of ludlcrous non scqulturs In a
collection OF ancient Greek epigrams."
There used to be told story Of Sher
idan Knowles, the dramatlst, who was
a first rate hand at Irish bulls. meeting
one OF twin brothers and asking him
(Which OF ye is the otherY
Mr.. Sala compares this with the sto'
ry OF that very ancient Jester Her
ocles:
"Of twins, one died. Skolastikos
meeting the survivor. asked him, Was
II you who died or your brotherr -
Youths Companion.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20

Mr., Gallup had finished the pitch.
fork testimonial and struck one where
a man had been blown up with
stump, and he was so interested that
he didn't hear her question. She
wept for three or four minutes and
then said
mo, don't 60 TO any unnecessary ex.
pense to lay away my mortal remains,
Samuel. AS my speerit win be hyln
around In heaven, II won't make no
great difference about my body. When
Mrs. Thompson died, she wanted a
funeral to cost $780, but I'm not Mrs.
Thompson. You'll marry again, Of
course, aud you'll need all your money
to fam opt with. Second wives allus
fam. Yours will want new dishpan,
new curtains, new knives and forks
and as many as three new tablecloths
the very fust thing. speakin of table
cloths, Samuel, I've made the last new
one last seven years. l don't expect
any praise fur II, but when your second
wife shakes one all to pieces in six
months you'll see a difference. What
kind Of a'second wife are you goln to
marry, Samuel7 You needn't be afraid
to tell me, fur there isn't jealous hair
in my head. VIII she be old or
Mr.. Gallup yawned and stretched and
thrust out his legs, but he had nothing
to say.
MRS. Roedecker says you'll probably
marry young chit Of II, and Mrs
Jackson says you'll probably look fur
a widder with as many as five cows,
but l amt goin to find no fault in
either case. On the contrary, kinder
pity you. Second wives allus smash
and break and bust things, and II you
say anything they'll sass back and pull
hair. You'll be rid of me and my trub-
bles, Samuel, but there'll be times when
you'n sit down on the wash bench out
doors and wish was back. Yes, you'll
acknowledge to yourself that l was
and savin and that | was
no hand to CAD about, but I'll be an
angel, and you'll hev to plug along the
best you kin without me. That's all,
Samuel, and ! will now die and hev II
over with"
She stretched out on the lounge and
folded her hands and closed her eyes,
and for ten minutes there was silence.
Then Mr.. Gallup yawned again, look
ed around and saw her there, and as
he rose up to wind the clock and go to
bed he observed:
YOU'D better turn the cat outdoors
and see IL the kitchen window Is fas.
tened up" NJ. QUAD.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
The HEApLEss HoRsEMAN.
An Incident That Happened In the
Franeo-PrussIan war.

II is a peculiar circumstance that
hardened and trained troops VIII go
through a long fight surrounded by all
the horrots that are inseparable from
war without iinching and with the ut
most apparent callousness, and the
same men will be struck terrified by
single trifiing incident
Every war OF any importance, paric-
ularly wars between civilized nations,
is prolific IN incidents OF trivial charac'
ter In themselves, but 80 unusual ana
unnatural that they appeal to the pat
ural instructive horror OF men more
suddenly and intensely than perhaps
the main terrors OF days OF carnage
and surrounding scenes or suffering
Such an incident is the one, for exam.
pie, which occurred at the battle OF
Worth In the early days Of the Franco
Prussian war.
In the heat OF the great battle wing
OF the Prussian army was charged Dy
the regiments OF French cuirassiers IN
the hope OF turning the wing and facil'
itating the falling back OF the French
infantry. But the cuirasslers were
driven back by the unfInching Prus-
SLAMS. Again the cuirassiers charged
and again they were driven back by
the wlthering fire OF shot and shell
For a third time they came down
again, and as the enemy waited Tor
them TO draw nearer horrible blood
freezing terror seized the Prussians
and for a moment II looked as II they
would turn and iy or be cut down
without defending themselves. But IN
a moment they had pulled themselves
together and beaten back for the thlru
and last time the gallant euirassiers.
The sight that terrified the Prussians
apDears nothing very much In black
ana white. II was a regiment OF cuiras'
siers led az a dashing rate toward them
by a headless officer sitcIAg upright 10
his saddle and apparently encouraging
his men after having been decapitaied
by a cannon ball.-Cincinnau Enquir'
ar
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
A Practical joke.

He was a wag and was passing
large drapers shop In Manchester.
There, drawn up. were three or four
vehicles, and among them was a closed
brougham with the driver fast asleep
on the box. Evidently the mistress
was inside the shop. without a word
the wag stole quickly up and. opening
the carriage door, carefully slammed II
20. In an instant the coachman
stralghtened himself up aud gazed up
the street as ii he had never seen any
thing more interesting 10 look nj In his
life. Then he stole look over his
shoulder and saw the wag standing
hat In hand. apparently conyersing
with some one inside the carriage.
Thank you, yes. Good morning" T"
said the practical joker and bowed
himself gracefully away from the door,
turning as he did 80 10 look at the
cOachman and say, Homer
Eyes. slri Tchl Get upP and away
went the brougham "hOme."
Where that "home" was, who the
mistress OF the carriage was or what
she did or said when she came out Of
the shop OF what the coachman did or
said when he stopped at the door OF
"home" and found the carriage empty
all that only the coachman aud the
lady knOw.-I1Ondon Tit-Bits.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
THE GALLUP FAMILY
AN EVENING OF ONE SIDED TEARS
AND LAMENTATIONS.

Mrs. Gallup Gives. Her silent Hus.
band Some Instructions and Ad-
vice About Her own Funeral and
the wife That VIII Succeed Her.
Copyright, 1900. by c. b. Lewls.I
Mr.. Gallup had gone down town
after supper to hear the political news.
and It was 8 o'clock when he got back
home. He had left Mrs. Gallup clearing
away the dishes and singing Happy
Day." but when he returned she was
lying on the lounge with her eyes
closed and the house quiet as a grave
yard. He sat down after u glance at
the figure and laboriously united his
shoes and prled them Off and then
picked up the family almanac to see
what time the moon would be In her
last quarter. Ten minutes passed. and
Mrs. Gallup uttered a long drawn sigh.
Two minutes later she groaned. A
minute after the groan, as Mr.. Gallup
had paid no attention to her, she sat
up and said:
Samuel you've come here Jest In
time. | was afraid I'd hev to 20 with
out blddln you goodby, but you are
here. You hadn't been gone from the
house ten minits when went to carry
The milk down cellar. wasn't think
in Of death or anything Of that sort
when all to once heard a voice sayin,
Git ready to soar away and become
an angel You may tell me, Samuel,
that It was the vinegar barl workin
or that It was a-gurglin from the soft
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
,.,gh,on ana ,he Poor student.

or LeightOn's hearty, eager helpful
ness many instances might be given
Here is one. After a certain prize day
at the academy a student was passing
through the FIRST room on his way TO
the entrance He looked the picture OF
detection aud disappointed wretched-
ness-poorly and shabbily dressed and
sinking away as II he wished TO pass
OF the place unDoticed. Millais ana
Leighton, walking arm In arm, came
along, pictures Of prosperity.
Leighton caught sight OF the poor
downcast student. Leaving Millais' he
darted across the yestibule 20 him anu
taking the students arm, drew him
back into the first room and made him
sit down on the ottoman beside him.
Putting his arm on the top Of the otto
man and resting his head ON hls'hand,
Leighton began 10 talk as he alone
could talk. pouring forth volumes or
earnest, rapid utterances, as n every
thing IN the world depended on his
words conveying what be wanted them
10 convey. He went on ana on. Ihe
shabby figure gradually seemed 20 pun
itself together, and at last when they
both rose he seemed 20 have become
another creature. Leighton shook
hands with him, and the youth went
on his way rejoicing.
Il Is certain that n other help than
advice were needed II was given. But
Il was the extraordinary zest and vital
lty which Leighton put into his help
which made II unlike any other. He
fought every ones cause as other"
agbt their OWn.-LOndOn Telegraph.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
A Charmed Life.

The scenery along the kentucky riy-
er above aud below Harrodsburg has
been Justly compared TO the highlands
of the Hudson. Towering cllffs hun
dreds OF feet In height impress the be-
holder. In Historical Sketches OF
Kentucky" an incident Is told of one OF
the highest Of these.
Jotham Strout was hoeing corn In the
bottom just opposite the ferry, when
his attention was attracted by rat
tllng noise above his head, Looking
up, he was staggered al seeing a man
tumbling down the fearful precipice,
now touching and grasplng az a twig,
now at root, without being able TO
check himself. Finally with a crash
Ing OF limbs, he landed In the top of
buckeye tree about 80 feet above the
general level Of the bottom.
Mr. Strout ran 10 the place with all
haste, dreading 10 find dead man and
not doubling he would be terribly In
jured II alive, for the distance the man
had fallen was 40 feet and from the
last point where he had touched the
rock 20 the top OF the tree where he
lodged was As feet
Fancy Mr.. Strout's surprise, then, to
find the man standing erect at the foot
OF the tree, feeling of his arms and
body.
"Are you hurt2" cried Mr.. strout
THAT'S what I'm trying TO find out,
my friend" was the answer. IT'S my
impression that am alive, but rather
sore"
Not a bone was broken, and despite
a few bruises the man seemed TO be as
sound as before the terrible fall.
"That fellow bore charmed life,"
was Mr.. strouts remark whenever he
told the story.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
rnnr I.errcn wen,hcr rronhet..


Though the tortoise Is an excellent
weather prophet, the fact Is known TO
comparatively few people Tortoise
farmers on the African coast notice
that even "a hours before rain falls
these curious animals prepare for II by
seeking the convenient shelter Of over
hanging rocks II may be a bright
clear, sunshiny morning but the farm
ers believe Implicitly In the tactics OF
the tortoise. who is seldom mistaken.
for the downpour Is certain TO come
within the time stated.
A pet tortoise would be practical
present to bestow on ones friends,
This curious prcmonltion of the 0p.
proach OF rain Is shared by many other
animals and birds aud may be- explain
ed partially 10y the fact that while rain
is forming the atmosphere Is incr6as.
ing In weight. but there mas also be
some need of moisture which males
them aware Of its approach or some
habits of life which make them thus
sensltive.-Chicago Record
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
A FAMOUS LIGHTHOUSE.
TIlIamOsk Rock, at the Mouth of th
Columbia River.

TIIIamOak Rock, at the Mouth of the
Columbia River.
The most famous lighthouse on the
Pacific coast is that of Tillamook rock,
40 miles south OF the mouth OF the Co
lumbia river, Oregon. The rock is 92
feet above the sea, yet at the time Mr..
Lord made one OF his photographs a
wave was breaking through Il crevnsse
and hurllng It's spray higher than the
summit. On this day 1t was too rough
for the Columbine's boat to make a
landing. Coal for the station had TO be
holsted In net slings, and the keeper
had TO be lowered In cage or basket
and, suspended in midalr over the sea,
report on the condition of himself aud
his assistants, as they were short OF
provisions, most OF the supply having
been destroyed during a storm.
From the side of the rock heavy sea
at the height OF this storm tore of two
pieces averaging 03 pounds and hurled
them upon the roof of the keepers
dwelling. With the weight OF the wa
ter these fragments made hole 20 feet
In area In the roof, flooded the building
to a depth OF over five feet and washed
out two walls, throwing three rooms
into one, an Improvement" for which
the keepers were not especially CRATE
full. Pieces OF rock punctured the iron
roof In 35 places. Although the focal
plane OF the lantern is 1875 feet above
the sea level, IL panes OF glass three
feet long and three-eighths Of an inch
thick were knocked I'm by pieces OF
rock which went through the lantern,
and the water put out the light The
building has now been raised six feet,
and thick concrete roof has been laid
on heavy steel glrders.-Chautauquan.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
"Most UnIaue."

One can hardly pick up a newspaper
nowadays without seeing the vile
phrase, most unique" as ut was the
most unique entertainment ever given
In Podunk valley" II a thing is unique,
IL is unique In the superlatlye degree.
II II is not unique In the superlatlve de-
gree, Il is not unique. To say that an
accident Is zone OF the most unique
that ever occurred" is abomInable.
Every singular" Is parallel solecism.
Exchange.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
Major General Tired Of Living
on Leftover Laurels. =:

ne wondered where they met the iirst
time, and Daisy In her poetlcal way
said she guessed II was In the gloam'
ing. Swigsby looked puzzled, and then
what do you suppose he saldr
"Give II up."
"Sald he guessed she was mistaken,
because he couldn't recall any apart.
ment house by that name."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
A speech That Made a Hlt.

Edward HAnlan, ex-champiOn oars
man OF the world. related a good story
OF how he delivered speech after
winning his second race In England.
His first victory had found him unpre-
pared. He was ready for his second
with a speech composed fOr him by q
newspaper friend neatly copied out on
paper aud stored away for use in his
coat pocket.
When tls crowd outside the club
house insisted upon seeing and hearing
the winner. he was helped out upon a
window ledge by his friends and held
there by the cOattalls and the legs.
The crowd cheered him wildly. He
wns too confused 10 speak. They
cheered him again. He threw out his
hand IN a gesture OF helplessness and
moved his lips In some inaudlble mum
bic OF apology for his inability 10. deiiy-
er a speech They could not hear on
account OF the noise that they we're
themselves making. but they encourag-
cd him with a generous applause lie
saw his escape and proceeded 20 shake
his head aud work his lips In a fine
frenzy OF OratOry, gesticuiating eio-
quently and smiling his thanks. The
noisy ana good natured crowd eheered
him 10 the echo, and his friends drew
him in from his precarious position on
the window ledge.
You carried that crowd along IN
style" they congratulated him. What
did you sayg We couldn't hear you.
Eyes. Give as an idea OF your speech.
the reporters put In, drawing out theii
notebooks.
Hanlan took the manuscript from hlA
pOeket Here's rye whole thing" ~
said. 'Do you want It allr'
We'll. rather" they answered Thai
speech made a hit. ."--Arg0naut.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
Aasious OaIy About oss ThIas.

The ghastly rider on the white horse
stopped at the gate.
Il am Death" bo said 20 the sick
man who was watching from the win
dow.
You are welcome" replied the latter
and added IN a whisper; m you value
your life. don't let my wife see you
tying your horse 10 that tree. she'd
never let anybody do that,"--Phliadel'
phia Press.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
LncI.InrIn Romnnne.

"swigsby hasn't particle OF ro-,
nance about him"
81 never thought he had. Any new
proof Of itY'
Eyes. He was calling on Daisy
Swlnnerton. You know Daisy. Little
thing, but full Of poetry, Swigsby said
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
T,,o Point. OF Dlmerence.

"The difference between the COW and
the mllkman," said the gentleman
with a rare memory for jests, is that
the COW gives pure milk"
There is another difference" re-
torted the nilkman-"the COW doesn't
give credit" t."-Indlanapolls Press
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20

Two stories are attributed In The
Railway Magazine 70 the witty bishop
OF oxford. He was once talking 70
some boys in a school and said 10 them;
sNow. my boys. ] dare say you think
4t's a very hne thing 70 be q bishop
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20

Might and right do differ frightfully
from hour TO hour. but give them CEN
turtles 20 try II IN they are found to be
Identical. Carlyle.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20

Our learning IL 20 long IN getting aud
% very imperfect that the greatest
clerk knows not the thOusandth part 0f
what he 10 ignorant Jeremy Taylor.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
WHY ne Carries . caas.

"You wonder why always carry =
cane except when l am carrying an
umbrella" remarked well known
PhlladelDhlan the other. afternoon
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20

Pleasure once tasted satisfies less
than the desire experienced for II tor
nents.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
WHAT ARE VoLcANoEsf
Thsy Are Not BaTning AountAins ~-
W. Understand That Term.

W nat dIt fVItNIV''3
Nine out OF every ten persons Wouiu
Immediately have an answer OF some
sort to the question above Tor nave
they not a lively remembrance OF nav
ing learned IN their schOolbooks tha'
"a volcano Is a burning mountain, from
the summit Of which are sent out smoke
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20

Pullman aud Toursia cars ON both
trains. Chair ears Sacramento 70 Ogden
and III raso, and tourist cars 10 Chicago,
81. l.onis, New Orleans aud Washington.
Connecting al San Frandisco with sew
erai gteamship lines for Honolulu,
japan, China, Philippines, Central and
South America.
See Mr.. w. w. skinner agent at Salem
station, or address
G.. u. MARKHAM, q. p. A.,
Portland, Oregon.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
Corvallis 4 Eastern Railroad
TIME GARD.

No. 2 For Haquiua;
Train leaves AihaDy .... .I2s45 D. IA
Train leaves Corvallis. 1850 D. m,
Train arrives Yaquina 6ii6 D. no.
No. ] Returniug;
Leaves Yaquina ........ 0'lO m
Leaves Corvallis e.........Il.3O a. IA
Arrives Albany ..... 1918 D. N
No. For Detroit;
Leaves Albany 49,. .... TOO a. M.
Arrives Detroit it..........I .Iis20 a. nv.
No. Z hetnfnlng;
Leaves DetfOit. 1910 n. "a.
Arrives Albany 6;45 D. m.
One aud two connect at Albany aud
Corvallis With kouthern Pacific tIains,
giving direct service - and from New.
port aud adjacent beaches.
Trains for the mountains arrive at
Detroit a. noon, giving ample timc
20 reach camping grounds on che
Breltenoush aud Santiam rivers the
same day.
IA 4 WALDEN, EDWIN grONR
TN.AP.A Manae
j. TURNER
kg ~. Albany.
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20
SOUTH AND EAST
Southern Pacific Co,
THE SHASTA ROUTE

Trains leave Salem for Portland and way
stations at 5 40 a. m. 7;54 q. m. and
The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1900-10-20

"rvE HAD TH1RTY-Two FITS OF SICKNESS"
soap, but l know better. It was my
summons TO go, and come right up
stairs and begun to git ready. 1t won't
disturb you much II l die tonight, will