Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1900-11-30
rsSsS SStsA.aees;s,s~ = @a
RiTj Nf271 MI;
- |aSSSS 6S: IS"

youT'-lndianapolis Press.
Irish cook Ito inilkman)-"What
makes you come so early of late? You
used to be behind before" Life.
May-"Algy and Pamela had a fall
ing out last night" Clarence-"What
was the causeT Maya hammock"
Harlem Life.
Pretty big: "Blowhard has a big
opinion of himself" "How big?'
"Well, he's beginning to imagine he's
annoyed by camera fends." Puck.
Mother (at the door)--If you children
are not quiet in five minutes you will
have to go to bed. Small Voice (after a
pause)-What time is it now?-Judge.
did he gain anything by his visit to
the Paris Exposition" "Yes; he says
he gained a better appreciation of the
Chicago Worlds Fair."-Chlcago Post.
Sister-in-law--"How like his father
the baby Isl" Mother-""He's certainly
like him in some ways He generally
keeps me up half the nightp- Punch.
Nimrod-"Pat, did you ever catch
frogs" Pat--"Faith, an OF did, sir"
Nimrod--"What did you bait with 2"
Pat-"Begorry, Oi bate em with a
shtick. "-Chicago News.
Off His Mind: Didn't you feel dread
fully when you lost your gold-headed
umbrella" mo; I'd expected to lose it
for so long that was glad when it was
gone. Chicago Record.
Your Uncle Toms Cabin seems like
a brand-new play" "Of course; we've
fixed it up SO Eliza crosses the ice on
an automobile, chased by lot of Box
ers."-Detroit Free Press.
Provision for the future: Mrs. Bon
ney-"Six motherless children, you say?
And can't you find work?" Tramp
"Oh, they're not old enough for that
yet, ma'am. Brooklyn Life.
Did it with slam 81 am willing to
do anything" said the applicant for
work. "All right" said the hard-heart-
ed merchant; please close the door be-
hind you when you go out. ut."-Somer-
vile Journal.
Might Have Been Worse: "Too bad,
old man, about your wife running
away. "Oh, II might have been worse.
! wonder that she did not take me
along to look after her trunks."-In-
dianapolis Press.
He helped him out: "And your step
father told you to get out into the
world and earn your own livlngY lie
should have given you helping hand"
He gave me a helping foot Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
In Memoriam: 81 presume you carry
a memento of some kind in that lociet
of yoursT Precisely; it is lock OF
my husbands hair" "But your hus-
band Is still alive" "Yes; but his hair
is all "-Tit-Bits.
Safe: Mrs. Won Blumer-"Dear, dear
| dropped my diamond ring Off my fin
ger this morning, and cannot find II
anywhere" Won Blumer-"Its all
right; | came across 1t in one of my
tiON9SiS DbNhtlSs
Vocal Possibilities: "Do you think,
professor" said muslcally ambitious
youth, that can ever do anything
with my voice% "Well," was the eau
tlous reply, "lt may come in handy to
boiler with in case of fire."-Answers.
"Are you old enough to vote?" asked
the tourist In North Carolina. 81 dunno
srzackly what my age is, boss" replied
theNcolored man; "but kin tell you dis:
allus was old enough to know better
dan to try to vote. e."-Washington Star.
A Peaceful Exit: did you have any
words with your mistress which caused
you to leave your last placer" "Niver
4 wor-rd. Sure, an Ol locked her in the
bathroom. and TUX all me things, and
shipped out as quiet as yez plase."--
Bazaar.
Its shape: "What is the shape OF a
ship going to pieces on n stern and rock
bound coast2" asked Gaswell of Du-
kane. Every bad shape, should say;
what shape would you call lt?" "A
wrecktangle." = Plttsburg Chrslicle-
Telegraph.
"You told me to come and begin work
to-day" said the new boy. "Oh, yes"
replied the druggist. you may begin
by catching flies and putting them ON
those sheets OF Sure Catch Fly-Paper'
we're displaying in the Window
Philadelphia Press.
Artless Thing: Charming Maiden
Then they went to Woozey's, did theyi
All, that's a delightful place. When a
friend asks me to so to Woozey's
know he must think an awful lot of me,
for they serve the most elaborate and
expensive luncheons In the city. Help
less Youth--Lst's go to Woozey's, Miss
Qulckstep.- Chicago Tribune.