The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-01-07
HuMoRs OF THE WAR.

If the stories that come from South
Africa be true there are some rare jokers
in the Boer army. 1t has been said that
war is hell" but for the jokers, standing
on the very brink. it to have no
terror. Bullets may be whistling past their
heads and lyddite causing miniature earth
quakes all around them, yet. they coolly
go on inscribing messages on empty shells
and then fire them into British camps. The
joking began at Mafelzing. where Boer
artilleryman threw a harmless shell into
the English fort. 1t merely carried the
compliments of the sender, stating that he
was coming to dine with Colonel Baden
Powell. The dispatches have never told
what reply the latter made, but 1t is pos
sible the colonel turned the joke by forcing
the artilleryman to keep his promise, for
sortie was made soon afterwards and a
Mafeking. Not long ago another joker
hurled Christmas greetings for Cecil
Rhodes into Kimberley. This was not the
shell that Strengthened the kinks In an
cid Kaffir woman's hair, and denied her
iron kettle. The latter incident happened
soon after the siege began. when picnics
were being held and the ''uncrowned king
Of Rhodesia'' was giving daily banquets,
as If to show his scorn for the price that
had been set upon his head The kettle,
it will be recalled, was broken into bits and
sold as relics or mementoes Of poor Boer
Workmanship.
Like a catchy song. or an expressive
slang phrase. the she'll joke spread with
rapidity. until It had permeated every Boer
lager and even scaled the kopJes where
mas the batteries around Ladysmith had
at least dozen dummy shells ready for
their humorous mission, and, IL reports
have not been exaggerated, they were all
thrown into General Whites beleaguered
camp. Some contained merely the seasons
greetings. but others were filled with En-
glish plum pudding and CONNECTIONS. One
sarcastic Boer, evidently knowing the
Gordon about the town was complete, is
said to have asked: Tommy, why don't
Rhodes, Cecils brother. who received the
query, for he and DR.. Jameson are re-
ported to have escaped from Ladysnith
few days later, thus turning the joke on
the Beers again. So many harmless shells
had fallen In the towns by New Years
| they had become a drug in the curio mar
ket and the price had dropped from s5
to thirty shillings.
Numerous other humorous incidents have
been reported from time to time. but not
may be ignored by the future historian
as altogether improbable. For instance,
there is no reason to believe the Beers in
| tended to fix the value of member of
the English nobility when they demanded
| the release of Viljoen, q convict and horse
thief, in exchange for Lady Sarah Wilson.
| 1t is also doubtful whether they really
photographed the inquiry: "Why is Rob-
erts coming? What has Butler done!' This.
| so soon after Buffers reverse at Tugela
river, would be satire worthy a pasquin
of ancient Rome. Neither is it probable
the Beers signaled Rats" in reply to the
question as to how they liked lyddite, for
the word smacks more of the Bowery than
the Transvaal 1t is possible. however. that
General Joubert, Kruger's man OF blood
and iron, did preach to his soldiers on re-
| turning to the 'front.' for the Boer has q
strange way Of mixing religion with fury
and hate, as evidenced by some of Dom
Paul's ante-bellum interviews. The report
that many of the Boer guns were smuggled
across Portuguese territory in collins sug-
gests tragical joke, for guns often pro-
vide occupants for caskets. The Afrikander
| who, just before the war broke out, sent
boxes of rifles marked ''testaments' from
| Cape Town to Pretoria, probably got his
idea from our own Knights of the Golden
Circle.