davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Cause for Apprehension.

And it seems that "Bath House John
was very much worried.
Did you sleep well? inquired "Hinky
pink."
Yes, but 1t is this Barbara Frietche
business that worries me.
llsRarhara FrietchieT
Yes, II they continue to shattel
history the people of the next c%entur.
may refuse to believe that ever wore
. green dress suit.-Chicago News.
For burns, injuries. piles and skin dis.
eases use DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve
1t is the original. Counterfeits may be
offered. Use only DeWitt's. Ireland's
Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
YOUR FACE

Shows the state Of your feelings and
the state Of your health AZ well. I'm
pure blood makes itself apparent in .
pale and. sallow complexion, Pimples
and Skin Eruptions. II you are feeling
weak and worn out and do not have q
healthy appearance, you should try
Acker's Blood Elixir. It cures all blood
diseases where cheap sarsaparillas and
3o-called purifiers fail; knowing this,
we sell every bottle on 4 positive guar
antee.
For sale at Ffscher's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Looked Like Laundry Checks

Messenger Ito British general, in
China)-General we have just captured
a bearer of dispatches, but we can't
make out the dispatches. .
British General-Are they in cipher?
Messenger-Cipher? No. They're
in Chinese.-Chicago Tribune.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
A I.atAr Ambition.

Elderly Adviser-My dear TREND, !
have read your book, A Woman of
Quality, with pain. 1t is strong, but so
infinitely coarse and disgusting! Why
did you write such q story?
Distinguished Authoress. 1 wanted
to show the critics who said my Little
Lord Fondleigh Roy was too soft and
nambypamby that I could do something
entirely different If l felt like it.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
The Solemn Butler.

When my maid told me that she had
seen the butler smiling behind the
pantry door l was aghast.
1t was brandy, l think, said the girl.
| cannot describe the relief | now felt.
But the reaction from the nervous
tension left me very weak.
Oh, Mary! I sobbed. How you
frightened me! l thought you meant
that he smiled literally!-Detroit Jour
nal.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
The Old Mans idea.

The son wrote home from college as
follows:
Dear Dad-I expect to graduate this
month, and will need 500 immediately.
Send check at once.
The old man replied:
Dear John-Tines Is too tight. | send
you q p~ost-ofice order fer $40. Jest
graduate $40 worth an come home an
60 to plowin!-Atlanta Constitution.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Dangerous Machine.

You know l ride a very old-fashioned
bicycle. It's such q good and trusty
machine that l hate to give 1t up, but
think | shall have to lay it aside now
and get a modern one.
What's the matter with it now?
An automobile took fright at 1t this
morning and ran awayt-Chicago
Tribune.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Objection PROMPTLY Met,

When we have our picnic, said Bess-
sic, we are going to ask Clara Upton to
60 along as chaperon.
Chaperon! exclaimed Johnny, with
supreme contempt She isn't much
more than a little girl herself.
Well, Indignantly rejoined Bessie, we
can call her a si%s-erone then can't we?
Chicago Tribune.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Undaunted.

Stubb-That fellow Maroon is a
clever artist. You know In moving his
Foyhunt a large hole was punctured in
the anvas
PENN suppose the painting was
ruined?
Stubb-Not at all. Maroon tells
people there is no hole there. That it
is a realistic fox den.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
THE BEST REMEDY FOR STOMACH
AND BOWEL TROUBLES.

THE BEST REMEDY FOX STOMACH
AND BOWEL TROUBLES.
II have been In the drug business for
twenty years and have sold most all of
the proprietary medicines of any note.
Among the entire list I have never
found anything to equal Chamber ain's
Collie. Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy
for all stomach and bowel troubles"
a y o. w. Wakefield, of Columbus, Ga.
This remedy cured two severe cases of
cholera morbus in my family. and I
have recommended and sold hundreds
of bottles Of 1t to my customers to their
entire satisfaction. 1t affords a quick
and sure cure In a pleasant FORM" For
sale by A. c. Ireland.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
RTB

When the quantity of food taken is
too large Or the quality too rich heart
burn Ii likely to follow, and especially
10 II the digestion has been weakened
by constipation. Eat slowly and not
too freely Of easily digested food. Mas
hours elapse between meals and when
you feel a fullness and weight in the
region Of the stomach after eating. in
dlcating that you have eaten too much,
take one Of Chamberlain's Stomach and
Liver Tablets and the heartburn may
be avoided. For sale by A. G. Ireland.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14

1t has been demonstrated by expert
ence that consumption can be prevent
ed by the early use Of One Minute
Cough Cure. This Is the favorite reme-
dy for coughs, colds, Group, asthma,
grippe and all throat and lung troubles.
Cures quickly. Ireland's Pharmacy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14

When you want a modern. u%p-to-date
physic try Chamberlain's Stomach and
Liver Tablets. They are easy to take
and pleasant in effect. Price, Is cents.
Samples free at Ireland's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14

The law holds both maker and circu-
lator Of a counterfeit equally guilty.
The dealer who sells you a dangerous
counterfeit Of DeWitt's Witch Hazel
Salve risks your life to make a little
larger profit. You cannot trust him. De-
Wits Is the only genuine cure for piles
and all skin diseases. See that your
dealer gives you DeWitt's Salve. Ire
lands Pharmacy,
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
No Longer Friends.

Tess-You and May used to be very
chummy, but you don't speak at all
now, do you?
Jess-No. just before Easter we
foolishly agreed that we would %candidly
criticise each others gowns and hats
when we go them.-Philadelphia Press.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Political Advice.

My boy, said the Willy Politician,
tals the advice of one who knows, and
do not seek that office. You will find 1t
only an empty, bare honor.
Besides, said the Willy Politician,
after the young man had thanked him
and left, | want that Office myself.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Rio Grande & Santa Fe
AND
Denver & Rio Grdnde r. r.
Time Table No. 50
effective May 10, 1901

Connections with the main line and
branches as follows:
At Antonito for Durango, Silverton
and all points In the San Juan country.
At Alamosa with standard GAUGE for
La Veta, Pueblo, Colorado Springs and
Denver, also with narrow gauge for
Monte Vista, Del Norte and Denver
Creole and all points in the San Luis
valley.
At Salida with main line STANDARD
gauge) for all points east and west in
Guiding Leadville.
At Florence with f. & c. C. R. R. for
the gold camps of Cripple Creek and
Victor.
At Pueblo, Colorado Springs and Dem
YER y It'll all Missouri river llues for all
points east.
New Reclining Chair Cars between
Santa Fe and Alamosa. Seats free.
Through passengers from Santa Fe
will have reserved berthS III standard
gauge sleepers from Alamosa II desired.
For further Information address the
undersigned.
T. j. HELM, General agent.
San.a Fe N. NJ
3 K. HOOPER, G. p A..
Denver, Colo.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Let This Re q Warning.

An Atchison woman, who three days
ago was considered the most popular
woman In town, has not M friend left;
instead Of sympathizing with her friends
as she has heretofore, she began telling
them her troubles. -Atchison Globe.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
A N

a UL bAONDNTI
viii often cause q horrible Burn, Scald.
Cut or Bruise. Bucklen's Arnica Salve,
the best in the world, will kill the pain
and promptly heal 1t. Cures Old Sores
Fever Sores. Ulcers. Boils. Felons
Corns. all Skin Eruptions. Best Pile
cure on earth. Only Is cts. a box. Cure
guaranteed. Sold by Fischer & Co.
druggists.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Suggesting the Combination.

What will you like for dinner today
Henry?
Anything you please. l feel too blue
to care what | eat.
You feel blue-and you look yellow,
I'll cook a mess Of greens for you.-
Chicago Tribune.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Did Not Atm at Perfection.

He-A maid must not expect such
lovers as she finds in books. Few men
are paragons.
She-Oh! l should not expect a
paragon. 1 should be satisfied with a
lover, young, hondsome, brave, noble,
and unselfish.-Puck.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Gratis.

officer Sully. OF wish OF hod
tropics on me ar-rum.
Officer Sullivan. Shure, thor's
miny a poor dlvil behind tn bars thot
wud be willin' to give ye'er a few av his.
Chicago News.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Stripped Him.

The Pug-Yoq look sour.
The Rplldog-And l feel 50. The
bpy.is using my muzzle IS q baseball
mask, and the girl Is wearing my collar
o. . belt.-Chicagn News.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
AcKER's DYSPEPSIA TABLETS ARE
SOLD ON

raising Of the food. distress after eat
ing or any form Of dyspepsia. One lit
tie tablet gives immediate relief. q
cts. and 80 cts.
For sale at F1scher's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
MOKi TEA POSITIVELY CURES SICK
HEADACHE,

Indigestion and constipation. A delight
full herb drink. Removes all eruptions
If the skin, producing a perfect COM
plexion. or money refunded. Is cts. and
q cts.
For sale at Fischer's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14

Have you caught the murderer? asked
the chief.
No, replied the detective enthusiastic
ally, but we've discovered q brand-new
sweat.bo stunt!-Philadelphia North
American.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14

One Minute Cough Cure is the only
harmless remedy that produces lmme-
date results. Try it. Ireland's Phar-
macy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14

There are nc better pills made than
DeWitt's Little Early Risers. Always
prompt and certain. Ireland's Phar-
macy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
His Normal Condition.

You reckon the majors goin' to run
fer office next wear?
Coin to run? Why, sakes alive, man
he hain't never quit!
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14

DeWitt's Little Early Risers ase ia
nous little pills for liver and bowel
troubles. Never grippe. Ireland's Phar-
macy.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Erin TO the Front.

Larry-Th' iude's potent ltthers how
London toes.
Denny-Yis, but they hov cork soles.
Chicago News.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
ACKER'S ENGLISH REMEDY WILL STOP
c0llGh

At any time, and will cure the worst
cold in twelve hours. or money refund
ed. rs cts. and so cts.
For sale at Fischer's drug store.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
rHE NATURAL cENTER.

From this brief sketch and the excel
lent accompanying map, 1t will be per-
ceived that the capital city Of New
Mexico is 80 fortunately located that II
ought to command the trade Of nearly
all the mining districts Of the large and
resourceful region indicated, besides
the steadily increasing volume of bust.
ness incident to its being the official and
political center Of the territory.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
Choice PRAIRIE OR MOUNTAIN GRAZING LANDS.

Well watered and with good shelter, interspersed with hne r
raising grain and fruits. In size of,racts to suit purchaser.
LARGE PASTURES FOR LEASE for long term OF years, +
shipping facilities over two railroads.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1900-07-14
FARMING LANDS UNDER IRRIGATION SYSTEM.

In tracts 20 acres and upward, with perpetual water rights-chear
of 40 annual payments with 7 per cent interest. Alfalfa, Grain a
kinds grow to perfection.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-07-08


take him long TO find that the captains
hobby was farming. and this subject he
introduced at all hours of the day and
night. especially when he thought the old
man was in need of being cheered UP.
We crossed THE line" few days after
his appearance. and he declared that Nep-
tune should come aboard taking his black
paint shave with delightful good humor:
while was guilty Of making a slight cold
the excuse for not following his example
We enjoyed the fine weather until reach
ing the latitude off the mouth of the Rio
de la Plata, where we had several DAYS of
heavy gales. MIR. Lazareete had been a de-
lightful companion before. but none of us
fully appreciated his worth until the ship
was rolling and plunging in the heavy seas
of the South Atlantic
He seemed to be everywhere 1t once
comforting the captain, whose old nerves
refused to stand the severe strain %: rough
weather: lending the sailors a had with
ropes helping the cook tc tie his pots and
pans on the galley range. He was a pleas
ing combination of leading man. first light
comedian. and general utility-while the
writer played the part of walking gentle
man.
The afternoon that We spent in sight of
Cape Horn l went to Mr.. Lazareete's
room to get a book ] had left there
Thinking he was on deck | opened the
door without knocking. He was sitting on
the bed gazing intently at a box that
He looked up. giving such a start that
the box and its contents fell to the floor
Before my bewildered eyes diamonds were
shining from the pine boards like stars
from cloudless sky.
Mr.. Lazareete burst out laughing At
last he managed TO say: My dear fellow,
now you startled mel | had no idea 1t
was you. Help me to pick up these little
pebbles. and then I'll explain" When all
were in the box. he continued: Well,
DID man, you've found me out at last-the
truth Is. I'm diamond fiend. | hadn't the
'ilshtest reason for not showing them TO
you. but you fully understand the danger
d letting their presence become generally
known. was going TO take them to Brazil
20 show them to my cousin, who has long
wanted to see them. Risky baggage for a
',owaway. wasn't 1t? / flatter myself it's
rather fine collection" He looked af-
ectionately at the glitterlng stones as
hey lay in their bed OF black valvet
This sudden revelation made his adven-
nre seem more like the Arabian Nights"
han ever. When was able to speak ex-
iausted my stock Of adjectives in ststving
o express my admiration.
After that our conversation dealt largely |
With diamonds. Many were the anecdotes
ie told; indeed. there was some tale CON-
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-07-08
GILBERT DEXTER.
alias WILLIAM HARRINGTON.
alias MR.. LAZAREETE.'
New York Evening Post.

(From the Detroit Free Pre.a1

TfoHi inc DetrOit fFee PreS.)
When the old gentleman came from his
comfortable home in the country to spend
couple of weeks with his prosperous son
in Detroit, he anticipated the time of his
life
His first discomforting experience was
when he attempted to thread the mazes of
u newfangled set of stairs in the uucer
tain light of the evening He became
mixed, thought that he was down when he
was not. took false steps that Jared his
head. said things that had not passed his
lips for. forty years and finally came down
with thud in passing from a landing rug
to the polished floor. Il wouldn't give 10
cents for those blanked Internal Stars.
was his greeting to his SON
But they cost me $500"
Don't care If they cost you eight mil
lions What in thunder's the sense OF pa
rading all around the house to get from
one story to the other. taking chances of
getting lost or breaking your neck? I'd
tear them out If had to put in a ladder.
Darndest fool thing l ever saw"
His next vigorous protest was against
the delays and uncertainties OF 2 course
dinner We wanted things right in sight
so he could set his stakes and eat accord
ingly. He was wrOih on coming down at
$50 to find that the cook was not even up.
and went down town for something to
stay his stomach. He wouldn't have
high buggy for a gift. if anybody banged
his horses tail he'd shoot. and the idea OF
having whole family to look after the
barn Infatuated him.
I'm going home" he announced on the
morning of the third day
What's the matter, father?"
81 wouldn't give my barn well for your
whole doggone water works. Where's my
hat?"
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-07-08

'.You must go with me. Pancho. I'm
sorry. but I must do my duty"
81 say no go," cried PaiSise. his eyes
blazing with excitement. you think a
Parco 90 to jail?"
..it'll be all right. Pancho old mar II
you're not guilty you can easily prove it,
"Geeltyi You mean no hold up stage?
You want me say that? I no say 1t. / did
hold him up but I not geelty. How is II
when the damned griDgos take all Pancho
got? The gringos geelty. Ell? What you
say? Pancho no bandolero. Paucho only
take a little OF what is take from him.
But no uses talk. Everyone say Pancho
geelty. 1 no care. Nina ala, dead. You
see down there? They take Helala to the
When they put Helena mie II he grave.
Pancho die too. You watcl senor-you
See
The procession was entecine tae grave
yard.
But won't allow you to ill yourself"
''You not allow" Pancho laughed de-
risively. But you make mistake Pancho
no keel himself. Helena mia say that is
wrong-say es maio. not do what Helena
mai say not do. You keel me. senor"
II kill you:''
"Si. senior. you keel me- OIL keel you.
I got right 10 do that"
But, Pancho. Pancho.'' Howard almost
screamed. as he saw in the others face the
sudden resolve and the plan to effect 1t.
you must not make me do it. No. you
will not Pancho. Think Of Helena. Hell
ena would not want you to do that. She
would want you to live and be Parco."
AS he pleaded for the other mans hfe he
became fearful Of his own nerves.
Pancho had turned his face in the direc-
tion OF the little cemetery. and the people
standing around the open grave. Even at
that distance his eyes were fixed upon the
coffin which was being gradually lowered.
To him came the cadence OF the last notss
OF the bells Suddenly he wheeled about
and his hands dropped from the rock above
his head upon which they had been rest
ing Now!" he cried as he made a mo-
ton to seize his gun.
The Mission bells were still, but the shot
from Towards gun reverberated through
the hills.-The Argonaut.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-07-08
His Dog Knew Him.
(From the Philadelphia Record1

IL
There are persons in this city. and quite
a number of them, too. who make liv-
ing by stealing pet dogs and cats and then
turning UP with them when reward is
advertisedp Near the corner of Eleventh
and Locust streets a valuable bulldog,
known as Harry, is domiciled. He is a
powerful brindle. and the owner. until
lately has been willing to wager that no
person would have the nerve to steal him.
The other day. however. he disappeared.
and for while was given mp for lost. One
day. while the owner was despond-
emily thinking of his lost pet, a loud COM
motion was heard on the outside
On going to the front door the owner
was astonished to have a powerfuI-looking
black and white bulldog leaped upon him
with every manifestation of delight. de-
spite the fact that he was attached to a
chain at which big man was Juggling.
The surprised resident was about to close
the door. when he noticed something
strangely familiar about the dog On closer
inspection he saw that the brindle spots
had all been stained black. ana that the
delighted animal was Harry. The dog thief
hastily dropped the chain and did not walt
to give an explanation. He had evidently
forgotten where the dog had formerly lived
and had ventured too near
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-07-08

was clear enough, certainly: he gave facts.
dates, and names without a shadow of
hesitation, and yet the Irishman scratch
ed his head in the manner of one sorely
puzzled
Now see here. me boy" he began at
length, wan of us two must be mad,
and, faith. I'm thinking that ones not me.
You say it was Bill Harris fwhat you
knocked on the head, afore ivir l came to
the place. Now that may be; but, faith, it
was Bill. Harris and me we're havin' a
cup of thay togither no longer ago than
the last night. So fwhat in the Twin
wide world div we mean by sayin' ye've
killed him? Or ilse, fwhat. in the orea-
ton of cats, does he name by comm aloive
agin? Tell me that. me son''
Jack tottered to the one chair the office
contained. and sank down in it, his breath
coming hard and hoarse. He tried to spj ak.
but his dry lips uttered no sound. Tee
lrishman. being good-heaited fellow. got
him a glass of water, and held it to his
lips while he drank.
Now see mere. me sonny" he continued
scothingly, III jist tell ye fwhat it all IS.
You and this man hev quarrelled. ard
we've got dhrink-and Internal bad dhrink
it is here. me son-and thin we've had tad
drames. Praise the Virgin We all hev
our bad drames at tonnes. and come out
av'em agin. Bill Harris, behave me, has
had his own drames, too He drames him
self into fallin' an the edge av his own
saw that he was carryin' wan day, atore
ivir | came here, and SEE he to me. SCI
he. Pat Maloney. sorra anither such dhrinS
as that will l take in all my born days.
for ut's cost me sore head. and a SO; e
heart into the bargain For he SEE he
were blind with drink, and run his hsai
down on his own tools. So kape your heart
up. me bhoy. for divil word of this story
do / behave.
Still like one in a dream. Jack num-
hed out few words of thanks, clappei
on his hat. and tottered out again. The
Irishman watched him setting off at a hall
run down the street, ard determined II
follow him. For by the living lingo" he
said to himself whoever he is, he's a
shingle short. and / wouldn't hev la IN
come av ut
So. locking his door. and putting the key
in his pocket. he followed at a respectful
distance. and saw his man make straight
for the sawmill. Scratch his head rd-
er than ever. he followed. And then
wonderful thing happened. He slw Bill
Harris come out. and stand gazing as If
,petrfied. Then he heard his man c,y
'.Billi"
why. Jack. Jack. cid mani" was the
answer. and then and there the two me
flew into each others arms, lis. for all
the wurruld loike pair OF swate school
girls" said the onlooker TO himself Teen
he turned bck.
Be jabers.' was his inward CONNIE mt:
"but / never saw the loike, and nivir
nivir will agn, unless live to the age of
Methuselah, and thin I'll be too blind to
emily til. E. Smith. in Loagmans Mag
aZiue
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-07-08
Can Obliterate Itself.

The sea cucumber, one OF the curious Jelly
bodies that inhabit the OCEAN. can practically
efsce itself when in danger by squeezing Itself
into crack not to be visible to
the naked sys.