The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1900-12-01

and love, familiarity in the home, if it
does not breed contempt, engenders care
lessness and forgetfulness, and even posi-
tive lack of proper respect Nine men
out OF ten are proverbially gallant toward
the women of Their. acquaintance They
are particularly attentive when marriage
is contemplated. They VIII put them
selves to endless trouble to crafty their
desires and plan for their enjoyment. 1t
is in the commonplace life of the home
lit IS amid the daily care and worry, that
the tone changes and the temperature
goes down. Without any deliberate inten-
ton to be disreJpectful or cruel, many a
husband falls into indifference, and then
into coldness and only realizes when it
is too late how far he has unconsciously
drifted from the ardor of his first affec-
ton. The trouble is not that the home is
destitut of Injuries or that the wife
lacks dress money, but that, slowly,
imperceptibly, married life has lost its
brightness, its sympathy, its romance. The
graces and courtesies which made the
days of courtship idyllic have given place
to neglect and Indifference Therefore
the saying of Shakespeare that Men are
april when they WOO, but December when
they are welded" There is no little truth
in the current witticism about the signs
of the umbrella. THE umbrella protect
ing the woman, while the man gets the
-ipp!ngs, courtsnlp: the man enjoying
d,
woman getting the dripping, marriage
The wife should ever stand to the hus-
band as the representative of her Sex:
the fact that she is his wife is only an
additional reason why she should receive
the reverence which every gentleman pays
10 Womanhood. The woman who stakes
her happiness for life on a mans affec-
ton is more than his wife: she is a woman
to be reverenced and honored, one to
whom he is bound to show himself as
scrupulously deferential as he would to
the first lady of the land He honored
her before she was his wife. He saw
in her his ideal of all that was noble
and lovely and queenly. He showed her
every mark of respect of which he was
capable Now that he has lifted her up
to the throne of his heart, shall he honor
her less? Surely not less, but more and
more, as time goes on, if he be true hus-
band and manly man.
The husband owes it to his wife to be
large-hearted man. He should never be
tyrant. playing the petty despot in his
home. There is no surer mark of a small
man than this. You may have read the
story of the husband and wife who got
: into a serious difficulty at the very be-
: ginning of their married life over the
question as to whether the sheets should
be made of cotton or of linen; she in
> sisting that they should be of cotton, and
, he that they should be of linen 1t came
9 very near breaking up the home The
{ young husband told all about ii to a
4 friend. And how did you settle it?' his
{ friend asked. well, we compromised at
: last" he answered, and" rubbing his
hands gleefully he said, 1--WE compromised
Z on linen God have mercy on the hus-
{ band who insists compromising in
t that way! I heard the other day of man
/ In this city who although he and his wife
have been married nearly a quarter of q
Il century will not allow her to alter the
n hour of a meal ten minutes, or to make
/ the slightest change in the household ar
e rangements without the consent of his
u lordship. God have mercy upon his little
: soul, that is, if he has any soul at all tc
:! have mercy upon. Every husband should
e be as far in him lies, large-hearted man
l. Again, the true husband owes it to hi.
l. wife to make himself more and more
AZ worthy of her love. Love has been the
z inspiration that has lifted many a mar
l. from lowly position to lofty heights o.
N worth and power Many youth of hum
ID BILE origin has worshipped at the feet o.
l. a maiden far above him in social stand
Id ing. and inspired by his affection ha:
is made himself worthy of her and then wo,
n her as his bride. Yes, every true-heartet
at husband will seek to be worthy of tn,
pr wife he has already won. For her sake h
j: Will reach out after the noblest achieve
te ments and strive to attain the lofties
in heights of character. To her.he is tn
Re ideal of all that is manly, and he shoul'
Id seek to become every day more worth,
TX of the homage she pays him. Every pos
n, sibility of his soul. should be developed
to every latent power brought out ever,
is fault eradicated every hidden beauty o
N the soul allowed to burst into bloom. Sh
lie looks to him as her ideal of manhood
I'D and he should see to it that the ideal /
IS never marred-that he never falls by an
unworthy act of his own from the higl
lie pedestal in her heart to which she ha
Id raised him. Few sins are worse thai
fe those by which man brings shame an
Us disgrace upon himself, for. beside the sor
lie row he brings upon his wife, he crushe
he in her heart the fair and noble image o
manhood which she had enthroned there
Oh It is the mockeries of marriage that W
~ see all around us that give point to tn
III Scorn of the cynic who asks. ''Is not mar
ne riage failure?" And well he may ask ii
K for domestic life on such terms as we Sc
~ it in many a home, is a failure. How
Ae often see husband and wife. begin
lie ming their career under the happiest con
" ditions drifting apart, until to all intent
DC and purposes they become stranger
TX though living under the same roof. Their
at are many tendencies beside those whicl
IN 1 have already mentioned which lead t
this result. At home, if anywhere, a ma
10 should be at his best, but there he is ofte
u at his worst. In the presence of his wifi
n and children, he is morally pledged to b
the most entertaining and agreeable; bu
as this, brusque and unapproachable. H
ought to feel that there is no place lk
home. His chief delight should be foun
there; but how often he seeks his pleas
ures elsewhere. preferring the small gos
sip of the club aor lodge-room to inter
course with wife and children. leavin
them to themselves until they are home
sick in the midst of their own home
Have you never been in homes where tn
tn children evidently did not know how t
kiss their fathers,-they went about il
when they had to do it, so dryly and awk
wardly; and where the very atmospher
suggested that the husband never toll
&c the wife but once that he loved her. an
= then he was eXaggerating? 1t was a VIC
~ man who wrote these words: Men, yo
- to whom a woman's heart is entrusted
- can you not heed this simple prayer
- Love me and tell me sometimes I?
a. Nathaniel Bowditch, author of the famou
of Navigator" added to his fame bv for
% mulating this law for the married life
g Whenever she came into my presence,
a he says, speaking of his wife, IT tried
IL express to her outwardly something @
AZ the pleasure it always gave me-" A nav
!, 1a