Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1900-01-08
NEW GRIMES AND PENALTIES

NEW GRIMES AND PENALTIES
What would Draco and Scion think Of
some of our laws? They did not agree
on matters of Jurisprudence. Draco
stands as the type of excessive severity
in criminal law, and Scion, though all
his law may not dur the modern test,
stands as the father of wise and benign
legislation. But what would these an
Gent legislators think after reading, as
the writer has done, 10000 pages of legis-
lation in the forty-five states-all of it
less than two years old. Suppose, for
instance, that Draco took it all seriously
and imagined that all the laws we pass
ed were meant to be enforced. Sup
pose they really were enforced and that
the Greek laW-giver should make a tour
of the prisoners and jails Of the United
States. Imagine him asking a score of
convicts why they had been convicted.
IT, said a Virginian, rode a horse on
the sidewalk through an u~nincorporated
village, and am in prison for sixty days"
''I," said another Virginian, killed a
partridge on the End Of February in Cum
berland county, and am in prison for
thirty days" III" said a California wo-
man, lam a nurse, and l neglected to re-
port to a doctor hat a balby's eyes be-
came inftamed within two weeks after
birth. l am in prison for six months"
''I,' said a Tennsseean, " 'lobbled' with
the le gis,ature." You mean bribed lt?'
asked Draco. "Oh, no, l just 'lobbled,'
but l did not address my arguments
Solely to the Judgment and so l am in
l fnr Exya rc - ~ Alonyc fvvnr1 tho
same state curled mis- mustache: II fell
in love with a young lady at a Tennes-
see bcalding-school. In a rash moment
| ventured to loiter on the opposite side
of the street, and I threw a kiss TO her.
Now I have thirty days to serve in the
county jail" ...s
by Jupiter!" exclaimed Draco, 1T is
all Merry well for you to swear by Jupl-
ter,'' said a man from New Jersey; but
l made a mistake Of swearing by the
name of Jesus Christ, and so I have two
years to serve" 81" said a New York
man, ''tampered with an automatic bal
lot machine and for the next five years l
shall labor for the benefit Of the state"
IT," said another New Aorker, "Was call
ing on a friend in the upper story of a
Of my advertising circulars down the let
ter-chute. Unfortunately, l had forgot
ten to address them. So l got five
days" 81" said a New Jersey man Bit
terly. did not drop my ad. into a let
t%er-chute; / wish l had. l made the
and l am sentenced to three years for
d%istiguring the landscape" LAS to adj
vertising.' said a lawyer from Wash
ingten, Il ventured to solicit divorce bus1-
ness by an advertisement in a newspaper
and now l shall read my newspapers IN
Jail for the next six months" H." can
go you one better" said a Pennsylvania
criminal. II thought it would be a
compliment to my country to print my
advertisement on q picture OF the Ameri-
can flag. The court thought differently.
and / am in seclusion for six months
You ought to live in South Dakota.
said a %bystander. II did the same thing
and l got off with a f~ive-doliar fine. But
be thankful you do not live IN North Da-
kota." said another criminal. Il ven.
l might promote trade by lessening com.
petitions; now l have ten years IN which
to reflect upon my duc
IT." said a Wisconsin man.. sold some
impure ice, and I shall spend the winter
in the county Jail" well, you hav
II ventured to sleep in my bakery. M,
first offense cost me $50 a night, which
ate up all the profits. The second Of,
Tense cost me 800 a night, which wa:
still more disastrous. For the third of.
Tense | had to pay $3.50 a night. And
now, to eve things up, l am lodging 81,
months in Jail at the expense OF tn
state .It all happens in the course OF
business said a Michigander. II though
1T was all right to buy an empty beel
bottle stamped with the brewers name
my mistake cost be ninety days in JAIL
l.'You got off easily" said a Florida man
"for 1 got a year for smashing a bottl'
Fsimilar to the one you bought" well
be thankful you don't keep a boarding
thouse in Virginia. / failed to put up a
sign which the law said must be in larg,
tRoman letters not less than one incl
square, saying: Imitation Butter Uset
Here and now I am a j~ail-Ooarder my
self for six months" In Virginia they
use the letter of the Roman law. Blu
what would Justinian say OF it's spirit?
Perhaps, to close the interview, which
might go on almost indefinitely. We cal
saving: "Well. you are all low-gradt
criminals. You are nothing but mis-
~demeanants; we have the honor to b.
felons." You are perhaps murderers.'
said Draco. his face Frightening at thu
thought of some crime with which hi
was familiar. Yes, we are both muir
derers. l murdered some fish with dy'
namite-a Greek word. you know-anG
am in for three ear And my frieni
here murdered some trees without ths
consent of the owner, n he also is in
for three years"
Would Draco think the world hat
grown worse, and would he note 1t a.
an occasion for modern thanksgiving,
that the Americans live under mildel
llaws?-"New Grimes and Penalties" by
Hon. Samuel J. Barrows In the January
Forum.