The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-05-30

eyes, we will call it the Great Amer
lean Dietary Sausage company" inter
ruIsed the major, land as purchasing
agent We'll deposit 100000 to your
credit to start on; salary to be paid
weekly or monthly, just as you elect,
and the dividends on the stock to come
quarterly. l need $40 to see my way
clear, but if you can't spare that sum
give me SIS. And there you are, sir;
there you are"
"But haven't got S."
Don't neglect this golden opportuni-
ty, my dear contemporary; don't do it.
The man who invented the Welsh rab-
bit made $3,OOO,OOO and lived to be so
years old. Angel cake brought it's in
ventOr $1,000,OOO while he lived and a
monument 40 feet high after death.
with dietary sausage. Peanut brittle
and lobster salad have already gone to
the rear Why, sir, any moment a tele-
graph boy may come in with tele-
gram from the president reading: Con
gratulations on your dietary; have
only eaten one barrel and am sure I
shall be renominated. Send another
by express The very next mail will
probably bring unsolicited testimonials
from a dozen actresses and four or five
senators. 1t is needless for me to tell
you that delays are dangerous. Time,
tide and the dietary sausage wait for
no man. If you haven't got S., I'll try
and make So do. Leave your name
and So
1.-THE Life Of Napoleon y
"Never mind the Life of Napoleon
my boy. Napoleon was a great man,
but Major Crofoot wasn't on earth
then. We are not delving in the past,
but digging into the future. Where
Napoleon made 500 you'll make 3d.
600. Let others conquer the world by
force of arms if they will, but we'll
conquer 1T by force Of dietary saul
sage. You've certainly got So about
you. want to get the organization
perfected today
Twelve only got dollar" STAN
mered the canvasser as he exhibited
the bill
"Well, I'll take it and make it go as
,far as it WILL" replied the major as
the greenback changed hands. You'll
feel safer for having invested money
in the enterprise. Stock will be ready
in about two weeks, and as soon as
we can erect and equip a factory
you'll begin purchasing stock. Yes,
I'll make the dollar do, and you'd bet
ter begin posting up on meats. When
we once get started"--
"But came up here to sell you this
bookr
"When we once get started, we'll
use up at least 1000 tons per week,
and you must be able to tell at a
glance whether the meat is juicy
enough for our purpose. That's all.
and there you are, and I'll send for
you when the papers are ready to be
signed. I think We'll make the ground
floor price on stock 20 cents, but maybe
we can scale that figure down little.
At any rate, there you are, and you
can have every confidence that your
canvassing days are ended. Turn to
the right, please, and good, day-good
day.
But listen a minute. l came up here
to sell YOU
"And don't give me away-don't do
it," cautioned the major as he pushed
his caller along. "Just keep mum and
saw wood until our patent is secured,
and then We'll jump on the whole
world with both feet and boom dietary
sausage even to the drawing rooms of
royalty. Ground door-S15,OOO per
year-golden opportunity. Don't miss
it,
A minute later the canvasser found
himself on the street. and when he was
asked what had ! oened him that he
looked so put out Ii, "pplied:
"Why, I went up u sell man
$3.50 subscription book, and I'll be
hanged If he didn't turn me out and
get my only dollar in cash besides!'
M. QUAD.