The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1900-07-05
A CURE THAT DIDN'T CURE
Herein Is n Lesson to All CareIeau
Young Wives Who object to
Tobacco Smoke.

mo, indeed, l wouldn't have my hus-
band stop smoking for anything" said
the bride of three months, as she set
her teacup down and brushed cake
crumb off her new lace jabot, relates
the Chicago Tribune. 81 tried to cure
him of it the first month we were mar
ried, but never since"
"Oh, why?" chorused the dainty fem
mime group around the tea table. WAS
he so cross and obstinate?"
'N-no, not exactly" returned the
bride, hesitatingly. ut was like this:
We took a perfect jewel of fiat in
the Wonderful, you know, to start the
honeymoon, and it was all a dream, ex-
cept for the horrid smoking. Freddie
never was without cigar, and it was
dreadful. Whenever l wanted to come
near him or curl his hair, there was al
ways one of the nasty things in his
mouth or hand, and l used to get burnt
sometimes. 1 coaXed and pleaded and
cried and did everything l could think
of to make him stop, and he wouldn't
for love nor money. He used to smoke
anything from funny little dark cigars
that cost something terrible down to
cent-apiece stogies. And he'd tell me l
didn't know anything about cigars;
that the happiest state in life was to
sit in an easy chair with one of those
ugly little havanas and smoke and
smoke and dream and let the smoke
curl up like a forest fire, and watch
the beautiful white ash get longer and
longer, until it dropped off, and then
you wanted to eat the stub, it was so
good. Think of that talk from hus-
band of month";"
Perfectly shameful" came a SYM
pathetic murmur from the rest.
SAT last 1 grew desperate, and one
day 1 found sample package dropped
at the back door. 1t was NiX-I-Gar, or
Sad On Smoke, forget which, but any
way it said on the label that it was
warranted harmless, and would cure
any case of smoking, and all you had
to do was to put some in the coffee
every morning and the person would
never know. Well, 1 put it away for
safe keeping and forgot all about it
for a few days; then one morning
when 1 was in a hurry came across
the package in the china closet, and
fixed the poor dear boys coffee with
a good big dose. He swallowed it like
lamb, and L was so happy, when all
at once he gave dreadful yell and
clutched his hair. sob, Freddie, dar-
ling, what is it ?' cried, jumping from
the table, because 1 thought it might
be fit or something. He tipped over
the coffee and gave another yell and
threw the plate at me.
"'What is it, woman?' he shrieked.
I'm poisoned, that S what it is. Muir
dered! Oh, Lord! Oh, holy Moses.
Stop standing there, you Lucretia Bor-
gia. You shan't witness my death
agony. Dash for a doctor, can't you,
before I turn into a CHASTITY corpse?
Oh, Lord!'
Il dashed all right. I was frightened
nearly to death, and after a time, when
the doctor had come and looked after
him and used a stomach pump on the
poor darling, [ went out to the kitchen
and hunted up that package that had
been warranted harmless. What on
earth do you suppose had given him?"
''Red pepper" said one.
Rough on rats said the hostess.
'Worse, worse" sighed the bride.
'Td mixed the tobacco cure with some
other sample packages that had saved
and had given the dear, precious dar-
ling a dose of washing powder, new
magic kind. No, he didn't die, of course,
but 1 just saved myself from divorce
by hairs breadth. He swore l tried
to poison him for week. l never say
word about his old cigars now, bless
his heart" and she smiled contentedly
and reached for another cup of tea.