The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-06-21
Old Sport is Upset
By Banf1a and Brown

Here's another letter from the Old
| Sport, said Johnny, tossing bulky en-
/ velope across the bar. Up in the left
hand corner Of the cover were the initials
% S" traced over the picture of big
! Philadelphia hotel. The first part Of the
missive was typewriter, but the we'll
known caligraphy of the Old Sport came
| in after the first few lines. He explESned
! this unusual feature right at the place
where he first started in for himself.
4 hired one of these here steenograph-
eTs to do this for me-" he wrote, but she
was so dern ignorant 1 had to quit her.
/ Why, Johnny. she actooaly wanted to
I know whether highball was one word or
/ two. I stood that all right, but when
| she asked me if wasn't ashamed TO
pack a poor kitty around in my grip,
J where it was liable to smother to death.
I just laid down my hand entire
! " Young woman says I, you don't
| seem to savoy none. Your glasses is on
/ straight an you may do for coarse deal
| in such as falls to your lot here in orsii-
nary times. But when it comes to a
/ real bang-up eddicatiOn, sech as would
fit you for the higher walks of life YOU
/ amt deuce high. I find I can dispense
with your services an will act as my
own amanuensis. 1 says.
Did you get next to that word 'aman-
uensis,' Johnny. 1 picked that up in Bos-
| ton and fetched it along with me for
| ballast. If they don't charge me excess
| baggage on it I'll trot it out to Salt Lake
and show the lads there somethin' real
good.
In my last letter I told you about the
large, icy nit Tommy got when he tried
| to go into Marks carriage. Johnny. the
| half has not been told you. We don't
| cut no more ice here than a one-legged
man at a sickin' match. Tommy looks
rich as cream out in Utah. an I'm free to
say he acts the part but there's men here
| that could buy him an sell him twenty
times a day an then wonder why they
| couldn't get rid of their loose change.
"Oh. we're up against the real thing
my son, We're up against it proper 1 see
right now we amt got no more chance
! TO git away with the permanent chair
manship than a amatoor has 10 punch
Jim Jeffries out in round. Tommy was
| pretty bot under his shirtband when ]
gets him to the hotel the first day. He's
dead SORE an he's sayin' he'll learn these
cheap stifts thing or two. He tells me
to open headquarters regardless, and
does.
We has three rooms on the parlor fIoor
| Of the hottest tavern in this mans town
| I decorates 'em in cut poker chips an
ported faro boxes. The sideboard is
stocked with as good a line of booze as
| could be got an then l starts out to round
up the gang The first man I looks III
/ is Mark. I know he's deaIin' the game an
/ he's the main eneeze. As soon as sends
my card in he comes runhin out
g My dear Sport, he says. I'm glad to
see you How is Charley Goodwin an
Lindsay Rogers an them other friends
of mine out Salt Lake way?'
II tells him they're all right an then
suggests my play to elect Tommy per-
manent chairman. Well. Johnny. Mark
! lets out a laugh that jars the tavern
! 'Lemme see, he says, chueklin' so he car
hardly talk, didn't I<earns bolt the last
convention? I owns up that he did. an
| Mark laughs louder thar ever.
'Derned if I don't like his gall he
says Here's a man that ought by all
rights to be settin way back in the wagon
where the mud would fly over him. but,