The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1900-01-19

to him next time | needed medical
advice. Aftor tho first trip I got n
little bit wiser, 30 | won't to tho sa-
loon and got tho liquor ten times
cheaper, with sandwich and Il hunk
of bologna thrown in to stop up the
aosophagus and prevent the liquor
from coming back in u fit of disgust
to give the bar and tho country bad
reputation, as it were.
| have now arrived at that pccu-
liar mental condition whore Il man is
just about as willing to die, as he is
to lake any moro medicine ut war
prices. If n tailor would promise to
mako mo suit Of shoddy clothes for
$25 he would never bo able to collect
tho money until after he had fur
nished tho clothes. Ho couldn' t
como and feel my chest, and look
down into my stomach, and pound
my ribs, and make mo stick out my
tongue, and tell him how bad | feel,
and then 90 off and get drunk and
afterwards suo for the price Of a suit
Of clothes never got at all.
Bat Il doctor can. A doctor can
pound you all over and tell you that
you are very sick man, and promise
to cure you up sound in very few
months; and aftor you arc dead and
gono to place whore the doctor is
not needed (nor wantcd), ho can sue
your widow and collect pay for cur
ing you of tho disease that killed
you before ho got chance to run up
a doctor bill big enough to scoop all
your little possessions.
There must bo easily 1000 infall-
bic consumption cures advertised in
tho daily papers, and moro than TO-, =
| 600 infallible catarrh cures, and 49,
600 liver regulators, and $4,000
blood medicines; and still SIX out Of
ton people you meet aro afflicted
with catarrh, ono out OF twenty in
tho first stage Of consumption, and a
majority of tho remainder have bad
blood or bad liver or bad digestion
and all Of thom paying the doctors
moro or less for making diagnosis
Of their symptoms and prescribing
drugs that are sure to euro or kill
Agcs ago tho medical profession
prescribed harmless herbs and barks
and roots, but tho human soon be-
camo proof against their effect, 80
tho doctors had to use strychnine
and arsenic and bclladona in order
to kill the patient and tho disease.
And now people arc getting so used
to poison that tho fraternity arc Sc
riously thinking Of using dynamite
and nitro glycerinc, and in short
timo it will bo dangerous thing to
kick sick man, or embrace sick
woman, or box sick boys ears, or
jolt n sick baby on your knee, OF
throw q double barrel bootjacl at a
sick tom cat; for tho sick will always
bo on the point of exploding and
blowing their nurse into an adioin.
ing State and scattering shrods Of
WOODEN night dress from tho sicl
room to tho outer limits of their con
grossional district, or wordr to thai
effect.
Still, after all, most of tho doctors
success depends on the faith of hil
patients. Tho Africans arc perfectl,
satisfied with their voodoo man, th,
German with his witch killer, tn,
| Christian Scientist with his faitl
cure fakir, and the newest crop O
fools have their mind hoaler, whil
tho common folks arc still satisfied
with pills and powders and Latin
prescriptions; and there is but DUR
little difference in tho death list, O
in the number Of octogenarans VIII
have survived the blunderu of thei
wise mon and tho inclemency of tn
weather and the cook.
l believe there will como a tim
when people will know what to oat
and how to cat, and when to cat, an
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