The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-08-12

The doings Of society at the fashionable
resorts ought to make what Artemus Ward
used to call mighty interesting reading;
but, someway. they don't. The irrepress-
ible "chiel.' who is forever around TAX
ing notes. faithfully chronicles every dance,
dinner. race. or engagement as it hap
pens. but when it is set down in black and
white. with the usual gaudily-colored addi-
lions. for all the world to read the think
ing reader-if a person of that superior
type ever hobnobs with society column.
cannot well help from rejecting on the
mcnotonously dull methods rich people
take OF throwing their money away.
Plainly what Queen Fashion needs is an
Edison or Marconi to invent some newer
ways of entertaining her votaries than the
cut and dried Dastimes that were prob
ably popular in the good old days before
the flood
There are women in the social world
whose cleverness shines cut with the bril-
liant glare of locomotive headlight. There
are other women in the same fold whose
intellects are as dim and fitful as the
chickering's of a blue headed match. 1t
would seem that the bright ones would
assert their superiority by doing original
things to outshine their less gifted sisters
but they don't They give dinners and
dances and things Just Tfke the antedi-
luvtn ladies' did-for all we know TO the
contrary-and just as their posterity will
likely continue to Do 10, until the end of
creation.
All of which is apt to set the aforesaid
thinking person to figuring out that, after
all. the pleasures of the work-a-day world
are about as satisfactory as those OF that
gilded kingdom whose sign is a four and
two naughts.
To be sure. there are always exceptions.
Everybody remembers the ball where the
guests dressed like vegetables and another
where they wore their clothes the wrong
way. Society was fully expecting some
thing equally exciting and brilliant when
it was announced. Some inventive genius
who ought TO form a rumor trust with Mr..
Sheng. OF China. announced the other day
al Newport that at the ball to be given
by Mrs Fish August q the heiresses OF
Newport would dance with bare feet on
dollhouse grapes at a dollar a pound. This
thrillingly exciting report was amended
next day so far as to substitute for the
heiresses group of imported peasant girls
in native costumes-the bare feet and the
dollar grapes to remain. 1t was to be called
vintage dance. and the young women
all of whom were beautiful-were to make
wine exactly as they were in the habit of
doing in their far-off. sunny home. Then
iconoclastic Truth stuck pin in the whole
affair. and now nobody seems to quite know
what is to happen except Mrs. Stuyvesant
Fish. and she won't tell. All Newport
knows, however that Crcssways will be
deliberately decorated for the occasion and
that whenever IT'S mistress entertains the
finest musicians and caterers are always
among the accessories that go to make her
hospitality thing of delight for the elect
OF Newport TO talk over from the night it
happens until the seasons end.
That Anarchist Of the social world-the
shirt waist man-has made his debut at
Newport. whether with success or not the
special" failed to state. He appeared in
an automobile on the fashionable driveway
at the official hour and deied the little
sisters and brothers of mammon by wearing
"a white china, silk blouse and a bow OF
light blue ribbon" As no casualties were
reported. it is TO be supposed that he lives
to try 1t again II is said by old year
after-year residents of the resort that near
Iy all of the time-honored customs of driy-
ing at Newport are giving way to the new
regime brought about by machines. Instead
of Bellevue Avenue being a pageant of
handsome equypages and mettIesome horse
flesh from 3 TO O'Clock in the afternoon.
many now 90 spinning and whizzlng late in
the evening around the Ocean Road. At
these driving parties in the moonlight NO
body wears a hat. Everybody laughs and
sings.
Everybody win agree that this is de-
cidedly more comfortable and interesting
than stiffening ones self up in fiuffs and
feathers and doing the afternoon parade
in the Avenue. just for the sake Of seeing
or. better. for the sake OF being seen The
outcome OF it all viii be the development of
two distinct driving sets. for the older cot
tagers. who naturally could not find much
real romance in driving about after their
usual retiring hour, are very likely to con-
tinue the routine that has served them
pleasantly for many years.
Despite the fact that the British Am
bassador and family are in court mourning
for the Duke of Saxe-Coburg- GOtha, word
comes every day from Newport Of the
handsome dinners given by notable cot
tagers liz honor of Lord and Lady Paunce-
fote. The details OF these banquets have
included The names of additional guests