Evening journal., 1900-12-27
Barnard Has No Earthly Use
for Dan Stewart
ADDICKS HORNS "SHINED up
GaSman Wants Them Put in Good
Condition for Expected Battle
ROyal
No charge for headlines
or signatures.
Addix Hedkwaters,
Wilmington, Dellywer,
December twenty-fore, two nav

Wilmington, Dellywer,
Desember twenty-fore. two nawts.
Mi Dere Mary Ann: This yere senny-
toryal situashun is CROWN mitey nigh
an the closer us Addix fellers gifts 10
hit the wuss hit luks. Arithmeuck
hain't no good, fer hit won't fetch the
result we're lCokin' fore Figger as we
kin there haint nuthin' Gums outten
hit but ateteen, twenty-three an
eleven on the start, an twenty-one,
twenty-five an nine on the wind up.
Hits mitey diskuredgin' to Mister Ad-
dix, hoos spent a hepe Of mummy tlyin'
to git twenty-seven. He's wurryiu'
gDod dele an chafiin' at the bit, an on
Shawn days he's even latherin', but
that haint releevin' the situashun nun.
Our fellers in Kent and Sussex
will stand without hitchin an
one or two of them in
Nookassels reasonably safe, but them
Reglers an Dimmokrats is the fellers
hoos blockin' the game Ef yu here
tell of emmy Dimmokrats hoo wants to
sell out to Mister Addix send there
names in bi wire, fer we're waitin'
apkshusly fer sumthin' Of that kind to
tsrn up.
CESS Mister Ahbitt, Of Milferd, is
goin' to be speeker pro TEN Of the Sen Il.
There hain't nuthin' to stop him but
Reglers an DlmmOkrats. He's a crate
feller, an no mistaik, an he noes hit.
Him an me wuz on a Dellywer rale-
rode trane week before last an he stud
up In the car an told us all how he
had rose in life an all on ackount OF
his sopeeryOr intelligens an nowledge
of the wurld. He allowed as how his
powers Of dissernment wuz bettern the
average man. He attraclrted a good
dele Of attenshun, an everybody in the
car stud up an TUX of there hats. He
reminded me a good dele Of that there
Methodist preecher hoo ust to stand NJ
in the pulpit an say: Once / wuz a
pore harness-makers apprentice-looh
at me now!" But he's a bully feller
Mary Ann, an wen the swellin' goes
down he'll be all rite. He's good-lookin
an wares his wiskers rite. Frum woi
l kin understand up yere the Regler:
an DimOkrats hold him in sech hi es
TEEN that they'll jest jump in an make
hit yoonannymus fer the uther feller
I've saw Mister Abbitt in the chare, an
he sertenly luks Mise.
Kernel Bernard's st.ll waitin'. There
sumthin pathetick about the lin
in these days. an the seeryus way
in which he takos this yere talk abou
him bein appointed kOlleckter Of por
fer the sitty of Wilmington. He wa
in a bizness phase on Markit stree
week before last solisitin' sum adver
tisln fer our family origin, and he toll
the feller as how hit wuz only a mat
ter of few days before President Mac
kinlee wud send his name to the SEM
fer kOnfermashun. l wunder eff Miste
AddiX has give him gold brick fe
his werk insted of shares in, the Ba
Stait Gas Kumpny.
1 met the kernel on Shiplee street
day or ? ago. an he's beginnin' to IN
eareworn an wesry. I sez, Dan, hOw'I
yu feelin'?" He sez, "Rite peert."
sez,"Have yu got yore kommishun yitl
He sez, Not yit. l sez, "HOw's that
He sez, "Yu see, Bill, the Hay-POnl
fOte treety. the Army Reorganizashu
bill, the OleOmargareen bill an Il
krismas hollydays got in the Sen
ahed of mi appointment, an the sen
ters seems to think as how they
more important But ef they only nov
ed how bad I want that offs. they
drop everything an send a dellygasht
over to the Wite House an rellwc
Mlnltl Md-hliAlet 10 put III uHluH lN j
konfermashun. I sez. "Hoos endorsi
yu, Dan?' He sez. Nobody but Mi
ter Addix-haln't that enuf?" ] 50
We'll, Of ll0rse, this yere haint
funerel of mine, but I'm thinkin'
how things wud cum yore way kwic
er ef yore letter of endorsement fru
Mister Addix WIZ approved an kou
tersigaed bi Kernel DoOpont" tn
made him about half mad, Mary All
an I wuz sorry I sed hit, fer wen
feller's Twin in a FOOLS parrydise hi
sumtimes shame 10 wake him up; I
hit jest cum often mi tung wthC
thinkin' seq. IL Dan Stewert wurk
fer yu or the uther feller?" He S
Don't never menshun Dan Stewal
name 20 me agin. He's a back numbe
l sez, "Hain't him an yu never 60
10 git dun chewin' the rag about Il
there AddiX mummy yu an
handled?" He sez. bill. there's s.
things a feller CANT forgive or for
an that's one Of 'hen Dilat /
Stewert akknse nlc o., dlin thing
ns-er dun. IN didn't ! akkuse him
doin things l moved he'd dun.