Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-01-25

4
is reproduced from the De Soto cor
responsiveness to the Hillsboro Republic
can: s.Mrs. Reyburn. who has beer
keeping the Acme hotel, has flew the
coop. She left Sunday for st. Louis
and the house is now vacant. The
lady either forgot or purposely lief
without telling her creditors about it
Monday morning couple of furniture
cars drove up in front of the house
and were soon loaded with furniture
that had been bought on time pay
ments and not paid for. Everything
that was loose was hauled away with
the exception of Col. Gene Rankin,
and had it not been that he was we'll
armed he would have been kidnapped.
This is another case of beat, aud to
say that it was carried out to perfec-
ton is mildly expressing it. Milk
men, butchers, country gardeners,
| grocerymen, chambermaids and waiter
girls all suffered alike" Mrs. Rey-
burn, it is understood, is now employ
ed as saleslady in one of the depart
ment stores in st. Louis.
Notwithstanding the very Indictment
weather the farmers meetings at the
courthouse last Friday attracted quite
good attendance. W. w. Haywood
was chosen as chairman of the meeting
| and q. e. kaesemacher, Secretary.
y. F. Murray, President of the State
Horticultural Society, delivered lee
| ture on the adaptabilities of this Sec
ton for fruit growing. Mr.. Murray
seemed to think the possibilities in that
respect could not be overestimated.
He was followed by G. A. Atwood, who
made an interesting talk on the culture
of straw berries. L. B. Chandler. of
Pennington, spoke of Fake Fruit
Agents" At the afternoon session
resolutions were adopted urging the
organization of a local society to fur
Their horticultural interests in this sec
ton. The following were appointed
as committee to take preliminary
steps: j. B. Follett. 6. w. Farrar, Sr.,
A. K. Sutton, Mrs. H. O;Brlen and Mrs
John Newman. The evening session
was enlivened with a song by Miss
Julia Andrews, a recitation by Mrs.
Markham, also one by Mr.. Mayor. Mr..
King, the freight agent of the Nilsson
RI Pacific, also favored the meeting
with an interesting talk. The occasion
was generally counted a success and it
is hoped will help to bring this section
to the front in fruit growing.
The REGISTER hears a good Joke
on a man who doesn't live more than
a thousand miles from Ironton. The
man in question, is a young man, pop
ular, and numbers his friends by the |
hundreds. He is a model young man,
too, and while not protesting to be a |
"teetotaller." is generally regarded as
one, all the same. You've seen that |
kind OF men, haven't you? You know, /
a wee bit better than they really are?
Understand? All right, we'll go
ahead. Well, this young man is
married man, and recently entertained |
a number of his relations. After din
ner, things were somewhat slow and |
just to relieve the monotony the host |
thought little liquid refreshment
might be relished by the guests-"by |
she guests" you understand. So he
journeyed to saloon nearby and pur-
chased a couple of quart bottles of
beer. The accommodating man be-
hind the bar insisted on wrapping up
the package, but the young man said
ssnever mind the trouble; | can put a
bottle in each of my overcoat pockets,
thrust my hands in the pockets, let the
neck of the bottle project up my coat
sleeve, and should l happen to meet
any one they will not even suspicion
that l have any beer in my possession"
And so the young man left the saloon,
a quart in each pocket, and the necks
of the bottle hidden from view by the
friendly coat sleeves. He had pro-
ceeded but short distance on his way,
however, before he discovered in the
road, in front of him, a minister of the
gospel from a neighboring town and
another gentleman, who had come to
to the community for the purpose of
holding divine service in a nearby
church. The young man realized in
a moment that he was ''up against it,"
Avoid them he could not, aud to meet
them meant to shake hands, and to
shake hands meant to remove the
friendly coat sleeves, and expose to
view the bottles which held the foam
ing beverage. There was but one
course TO pursue now, however, and
the young man proceeded on his way.
And sure enough. as they met, the min
lster insisted on shaking hands, which
exposed to public view the bottle in
the right hand pocket; this, perhaps,
would not have been so very, very
bad. but the other gentleman, also
friendly, did not wait until the minis
ter completed his hand-shake, and
grasped the young mans left; this
brought the second bottle TO the broad
light of day-the neck of quart pro-
truding from each pocket, standing
out in bold relief, and the young man
is certain they could be seen mile
away. simultaneously three faces
several attempts at clearing
the throat, an untelllgible word or
two about the weather and the trio
moved on-the two to the church,
doubtless bordering as they went on
the duplicity of human nature, and
agreeing that people, like things, are
seldom ''what they SEEM" while
the young man quickly thrust his
hands in his overcoat pocket again
and wendell his way homeward, think
ing, as he went, that the s.best laid
plans o. mice and men gang aft agley!"
It's safe to gamble that the next time
that young man makes a purchase at
the bar he'll let the accommodating
man who makes the sale wrap up the
Coods ~