Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1900-08-21
Exiles in a Far Land
SS7S n SIS '7S

~ Two young persons, man ana Vile,
living comfortably in Washington, de-
cided about two months ago that Wash
ington was not of sufficient size for
them. Likewise, they mutually con-
clnded that Washington was slow.
Furthermore, it struck them both at
one and the same time that there didn't
seem to be anything doing" in Wash
ington, and the male person OF the
couple referred to the capital of the
nation as a burg of no speed whatso-
ever worth mentioning and alluded to
it in caustic terms as being all right
in its way, but Sleepy Hollow OF that
in all of which the wife of his BOSOM
conceded with him.
"All of which," said the male person
OF the couple, naturally leads up to"
New York, of course" replied the
wife of his bosom.
Whereupon, after patronizing their
Washington friends a whole lot, in
deed, and telling their Washington
friends chat they were sorry to leave
them behind in poky old place that
didn't know it was alive like Washing
ton, and declaring in loud and specific
terms, subject TO no misconstruction
whatsoever, that New York would be
good enough for them for the remain
der of their natural lives, they depart
ed for New York. AS they sped out of
the station on the train they reviled
Washington unto each other and re-
marked that Washington wouldn't do,
and that they were tickled almost fool
ish at the prospect of arriving within
matter of five hours or SO at point
where they would have every oppor-
tunity to get run for their money.
Arrived in New York, this pair of
Washingtonians, man and wife, hest
tated not to express themselves as be-
ing deliriously happy.
Its the only town, amt it?" said
the male person, beaming upon the
wife of his bosom.
"The only town." she echoed.
Look at this blaze of lights" said
the male person, pointing his cane at
the bulb-electric sign over the Broad
way pugilists' saloons and the Broad
way restaurateurs' polite-robbery es-
| tablishmeDts; don't see blaze of lights
like this down in little old Washing
ton, do you? Real thing, this, isn't it :?
Plenty of action here, isn't there?"
"Oh, lots" replied the wife of his
bosom.
Great to be in the madding crowd,
once again, isn't it?" he went on,
pointing out the surging throngs of
beautifully dressed bunco steerers and
other promoters rushing hither and
yon in their anxiety to nail good
things" in advance of each other.
Don't see people like this in the little
old place down there, do you?"
No" she replied with so much con-
yiction, as it were, that he had to look
at her closely to see if she were really
enjoying herself.
Clever bunch, aren't they?" said
the male person of the couple when
they took their first table d'hote dinner
at the Blue Dog restaurant, pointing out
the disheveled artists, the gay and glad
some shoe clerks, the ladies with great
sorrows and futures behind them mot
to speak of their prismatic hair and
their ineradicable complexions), the
imaginative and imaginary writer's,
who toll not, neither do they spin; the
pale versifiers with T. Chatterton
make-nps, against whom Ito hear the
T. Chattertons) all publishers are
leagued in one vast, cruel conspiracy;
the "alienist" physicians, whose prac-
tice consists in the writing of LON
brosoistic vaporings for the New Yorl,
Sunday saffrons, and all the rest of the
merry, mirthful, pint-ef-zinfandel-red-
ipk-on-the-side "Bohemiaps" Tortured
word). Gree, flowing, unconventional
natures they have, haven't they? They
put away the petty restraints of civil.
ization as if the restraints were not
you perceive. Childish, bland. brilliant
lot. hey? Don't see folks like them
down in the little old place on the
Potomac, do your"
NO" replied the wife Of his bosom
with an accent so clear and distinct
that he had to look at her again in
order to ascertain, if possible, If she
were really entering into the jovial
happy -go-lucky spirit of the occasion.
II wouldn't be back in Washington
for big money, would your" he in
quired, in order to force her to put her
self on record once more.
'Er-no,"' she replied, in tone that
didn't seem to have any vast amount OF
heartiness behind it.
"Of course, though" she said, after
awhile, with forefnger placed bit
wistfully to her lip: Washington
looks beautiful at this season, doesn't
) it?"
20, yes" said he, deprecatingly; "it's
a pretty enough little old place
around this time of year, particularly
it'll do to spend week or SO in-trees
all in foliage, lilacs and snowballs and
things in bloom-all that sort O. thing
We never said Washington wasn't pref
ty, did we? But it's so slow-wonde,
how we managed to live there con
tentedly as long as we did, don't you?'
"Ye-er-ye-es," answered the wife
of his bosom, but her eyes seemed to be
far away.
Look at this zoo, now" said the
male person of the couple to the wifi