The representative., 1900-10-25

Boney Forks.
(which Is In the Stait NV Arkansaw.
September the 20furst, 19hundred.
Mister Editur: The Demockrasy Nv
the Forks il in line. 1t IL reddy tn
karry a torch, holler and drink red
likker. It has organised Demokratic
club and whetted Its appetight fur the
fray. Theare are nine kinds NV Demo-
krats in the club. but tina kin aul karry
the saim kind Nv q torch. march under
the saim banner, and drink the saim
kind Nv likker.
We met at the Skool hous last Satur-
day mite and had a harmonious meetin.'
We elekted old Deekin Parks chare-
man. The Deekin Is gold bug, wuz q
Cleevland Demokrat, and sinse he lost
the postofhce haz felt littel sore. But
he's aul rite now. He's agin imperial
ism and IL willin' tu vote fur Wilyum
Jinnings Brian, II he kin git the post
offs agin. which we ashure him he kin.
Lum Jonsin IL an eggspansionist, but
he IL one nv them kind Nv Demokrats
who want tn expand without expandin.'
He IL aulso reddy tn drink red likker
in the interests NV Demokratick sue
cess. Dal Sanders IL in favor Nv likkin'
hel out Nv the Fillippinos. but he sez
he will vote fur Brian If he kin run a
saloon In the bak end Nv the postoffls.
Providin' Brian is elected. Pete Jones
il opposed tn inkum tacks, but sez he
is willin' tn let that go If he kin git the
job Nv kerryin' the mail. Aul the other
fellers want IL the privilege NV dinkin'
likker, hollerin'. and skaring the mig
gers away from the poles, karryin' torch
lites and walkin' along behind the band
Wagon. On these turns the Demo-
krasy Nv the Forks IL united.
When Deekin Parks took the chare
he maid the follerin' meet littel speech:
Gentlemen: I thank you fur this
aggspreshun Nv confidence in selectin'
me tn preside over this meetin' 1t haz
aulwaze bin mi plezhure tn worship at
the shrine NV Demockrasy. 1t il tru
that the thing gifts tn wobblin' sumo
times and the old man haz tn grope
around in the dark tn find the shrine,
aud sumetimes when he finds it, it hain't
the same old shrine it used tn be, but,
thank the Lord, it aulwaze haz the
saim label on it, and force ov habbit
mi VySor N
Gentlemen, I'm Demokrat, and sints
mi ize air not az good az tha wunts wuz,
I'm fOllerin' the eggsampel Nv stitch
grand men az Hill and German, and
want tn sa that If Wilyum Jinnings
Brian IL elekted. and l get the oppint-
ment fur post moster, I'll sell postage
stamps at aktual kost, and If Mister
Sanders haz saloon in the bak end NV
the postofis, I'll see that every pint Nv
likker IL as good az evry other pint,
and that the per capita Nv pints IL in
kreased tn suppl the demand"
Tremendous cheers.)
The Deekin's perorashun wuz a graft
hit, and the cheerin lasted several
minits
When order was finally restoared, l
offered the following rezolushuns:
Whareaz, The Demockrasy NV this
nashun IL agin united in bonds NV peece
aud luv, and the Tammany tiger haz
agrede tn let the orator Nv the Platte
pull hiz tail; and
WhareaZ, The said orator NV the
Platte, if he is elekted, haz agrede tn
let the said tiger pull hiz laig fur Of
fishal appointments; and
Whareaz, The dadgummed Republi-
kins insist that the mummy questshun
IL an ishue in this campane; and
Whareaz, If us Demokrats agree with
the Republicans on that pint we will
looze the gold bug vote; and
Whareaz, If we don't agree with
them we will looze sub free silver
votes; and
Whareaz, We nede aul the votes we
kin git; there fore,
Be 1t Resolved, I. That we hoap the
tigers tail will be equal tn the Okla
shun.
Rezolved, g. That we hoap the gen.
telmans laig from the Platte will hold
out
Rezolved, 3. That we neither deny or
admit the allegashuns made bi the said
Republicans.
RezOlved, 4. That we maik so mulch
noize about imperialism that the voters
will forgit aul about the uther ques-
shuns.
Rezolved, 5. That we talk bak aul
the meme things we ever sed about the
gold bugs, and reserve them in our
open arms, and mingle our teers with
thairs
Rezolved, 6. That in behalf Nv the
prodigal Populists who hav returned tn
the hous uy,, THAR fathers. we kill the
fatted calf, eat the calf ourselves and
Civ them the bones, az an admonishun
that tina ort not tn hav strayed ava.
The rezolushuns wuz unannymusly
adopted.
cornmitty Nv yung men wuz ap-
pinted tn go intu the niger settlements
with shot guns and pistils the mite be-
fore the elegshuns, and bi firm Nv them
of neer the niggers' houses, announce