The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1900-08-22
HuMoR IN ENGLISH SIGNS.
Apt Quotations Used by Tradeamen
to Attract Attention.

Apt quotations Used by Vruuesmen
to Attract Attention.
There is quite harvest Of wit and
wisdom to be cleaned by the observant
eye from the notices with which
tradesmen seek to attract custom. and
1t might also be worth the while OF
out Of the way things 20 make q COL
lection OF these wayside gems, many
OF which blush almost unseen. Many
OF the cleyerest OF these notices which
the writer has added little by little to
his collection consist OF really witty
adaptations of we'll known quotations
and proverbs.
An enterprIslng cycle dealer in O
Yorkshire town, whose name is Net
tie, turns his prlckly cognomen to
business account in this singularly apt
quotation from Henry w" "Out of
this nettle danger pluck the flower
safety" while n costumer IN the same
town, whose sympathetic name is
Love, informs his customers In let
ters half foot long that "Love hath
large mantle" If capacity be vir-
tue In mantlcs, Mr.. Love deserves to
have large sale.
A provision merchant, again In q
north country town, turns the same
name to useful account by this an
nouncement, which speaks for ITSELF"
George Herbert says Love Is per-
e0nal debt but this Loves terms are
strict cash."
Business rivalry often develops quite
unexpected resources of wit and wis
| dom In men of business. A few
months ago a grocer and provision
dealer called Little had a practical
monopoly Of the custom of n small
town in the Midlands, when, to his
natural annoyance, n rival settled In
the place and opened shop under the
name Of John Strong. Within few
days this dignlfled protest appeared
In the outraged grocer's window: "AIau
wants but Little here below" Gold
smitD. But the newcomer was q man
Of at least equal learning and powers
, Of quotation, for on the following day
this supplementary notice appeared In
/ his window: "Nor wants that Little
long" (Goldsmlth).
A similar story is told of two rival to-
bacconists, the latest conner Of whom
was named Farr. He opened fire on
his opposite rival by placing in his
window this notice: 1.-THE best tobacco
| by Farr." Within few hours his RI
walls window blossomed into one large
announcement: Ear better tobacco
| than the best tobacco by Earr."
| Perhaps smarter still were the rival
! notices Of two watchmakers, one OF
whom was called I. Wise. AFr. Wise
had adopted as his business motto, "He
Is Wise thnt's wise in time" To this
the newcomer retorted by this quota.
tion from Wordsworth: "He is oft the
wisest man who is rot Wise at all."
Many business men make attractive
advertisements by humorous play on
their names when they lend themselves
to this purpose. The proprietor Of g
wayside inn In one Of the home coun.
ties makes clever use of his name,
Day, to attract custom. On swing.
Ing sign. under highly colored pic.
ture Of the rising sun, appears this leg
end in gilt letters:
Won't you como Into ray parlor,
Gentle stranger, pray.
For you'll have to travel farther
To pass q happier Day.
| Another publican who boasts the GU.
riously inappropriate name Of Isaac
DrInkwater has adopted this motto:
~. Drinkwater. but my customers
drink the best Of ale."
Mr.. Knott, draper in a west coun.
try town. makes this appeal for GUS
tom: "Many drapers are extortionate
In their prices. am Knott" And not
many miles from Mr. Knott !s 9 village
tinker whose name Is Dunn and whose
| modest motto Is, what is done is done,
but It's not we'll done unless It's done
by Dunn"
By no means the least clever Of these
humorous trade announcements was
that OF bookseller called Hart who
supplied for many years all the books
used In local grammar school. Mr..
Harts business motto was this cOuplet:
Who IN lies race would fain good start
Should always get his ''books BY HART
London Tit-Bits.