Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-09-01
MhaEHlNOS ~ ~.
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1 don't know was the caution given, with
magisterial severity. L ask the question in
my official capacity, and you're bound to
answer it under OATH
with a contemptuous snort the witness
gave his name and the questioning pro-
ceeded.
:" Where do you Hve?
Wal, l snum.' CALCULATED the old man.
Why he continued. appealing to the laugh
| ing listeners. I've lived in this town all my
life. and SOS he. pointing to the justice
an, begosh, to hear him go on you
think
'Slencer Numbered the irate magistrate
Answer my question, or I'll fine you for
contempt of court
Alarmed by the threat. the witness
named his place of residence, and the ex-
animation went
- What Is your occupation?'
Huh"
What do you do for livingr
on git out squire. Just as If you don't
season an saw wood wintersv
As private citizen l do know It, but
as the court 1 am not supposed to know
anything about YOU explained the perspir-
ing justice.
Wal. squire remarked the puzzled
witness. 'ff you know somethn' outside the
court room and don't know nothin' in 1t
you'd better get out an let somebody try
this case that's got boss sense
The advice may have been good, but it
cost the witness $10.'
X X
1t was warm day. 1t was In fact, q hot
day. Ii was excessively hot. 1t was so ex-
cessively hot that if any one had referred
to 1t in a profane manner his remarks
would have been thankfully received, not
to say applauded to ths echo. Nobody in
the Office had on any more clothes than the
stretched to the limit. Even the naughty
and reserved financial editor had a large
drop of perspiration on the end Of his
Grecian nose. Just as the religious editor
made a remark not fit for publication in his
Sunday column a man with a muff1er
around his neck came bustling into the
sanctum.
Can I see the ice cream editor?" he in
quired of the man nearest to him.
Haven't got one" said that man with a
gasp al the uneXpectedness Of the inquiry.
Got anybody in charge of the frappe de-
partment?"
mo. We have no such department"
Where's the editor of the Arctic Circle
column
I'VE have none"
Got no regions-of-everlasting
ice department?
"Got'ny farthest-north reporterT'
mo"
Got coldest-day-o man?"
mo"
Got a refrigerator editor?"
mo"
Got a wy-mantle-covering-t the brown
bosom-of-the-earth MANI"
No"
Got a beautiful-snow poet?"
No
Got itter-blfzzard -howling -out-of-the-
north column"
mo"
NO"
He gazed critically around into the steam
ing faces turned toward MIN in varying de-
grees of establishment.
Huh he calculated, this is helluva
office, amt it," and then he went out as
Unexpectedly as he came In.
X X
The girl in the golf suit was several years
the senior of the girl in the net shirt
waist, and not nearly SO plump. The DIFF
ference in their years made 1t natural
enough for the net shirt waist to be max
ing a confdant Of the golf suit.
Il want to ask you something very I'M
portant" said the net shirt waist when she
had the golf suit off to- herself under the
trees beyond the summer hotel where they
| were staying.
Every WE'LL responded the golf suit.
I'm listening"
DO you know Charley Sproat very
well?"
II suppose I ought to; we were school
mates together"
us he reliable?'
81 should say he is. He has risen to
an important place in the house where he
is employed, and he has only been there
five years.
''Oh 1 don't mean that way. I mean
socially" and the net shirt waist nearly
twisted a rib out Of her parasol.
Socially" queried the golf suit, not
! quite comprehending.
Yes; you know. He has been saying a
great many things to me lately"
What kind OF things?"
Very tender things. He proposed to me
/ last night"
"Oh, did hep?
Yes, he did; and 1 want to know II he
| knowing Charley as I do" said the golf
| suit, seriously. IT should say he was in
! earnest and really want to congratulate
| you. my dear"
! protested the net shirt waist.
| Haven't you accepted him.
"Of course not. l didn't know anything
| about him, and l asked for day to con-
| slider"
well. he's all right and serious enough,
| l promise you"
! The net shirt waist drew a long breath
! Then I don't accept him." she said eff
/
| engaged not to him. for 1 like him bet
| ter than any of the others. but 1 most
| surely will not have any serious engage
ments until after l am twenty-one. I don't
| believe in early marriages. Thank you
| ever so much for telling me. Yonder he
| comes now; I'll go and fix 1t with him be-
| fore d.lner. By-by."
| "Br'er Johnson" said the elder of one
| Of the colOred churches to the recently
| appointed pastor, what does yo' think oh
| de cOngregashun?'
We'll. Br'er Jones. sence yo' asks me,
| I mus say dey Is er scrubby-lookin set"
| why, what does yo' mean, Brer John
| son? Dey has mo- camp meetin's and get
'Itgion oftener dan mos eny congregashun
| in de town.
| Oats jes' II, Br'er Jones, dat's jes' It.
/ Dey has done wore out de seats OBJ dey
| pants backsidin' and de knees er prayin'
fer fo'gibeness. Life.
INSPECT!