The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1900-09-20


town. shan't ask you to break down
and weep. Samuel. but If was you
I'd shed tears. I not only deserve 'em,
but all the folks will be watchin you
to see IL you are affected. You've got
six handkerchiefs almost as good as
new. and you won't run short even il
you shed tears from both eyes. Don't
you think Pm right. Samuel?'
She. wiped her tears and held back
her sobs and waited for a reply. but
none came. Mr.. Gallup was reading
how the life of man who had fallen
on pitchfork had been saved by
Persian stomach bitters. and his ears
were closed.
LAS to buryin me In the back yard.
of course you kin do as you think
best. In one way 1t will save you SIS.
and in another it'Il take up ground
fur cabbages. You'll marry ag'in. Of
course. and your second wife will want
hammock out under the trees. Meb.
be she'll object to my grave. If was
yoEt second wife, wouldn't object to
your first wife's grave, but I'm differ
ent from most women. You'd better
think the thing over purity seriously.
And there's another thing, Samuel. A
long time ago I told you that If you
ever got married ag'in I'd haunt you.
was mad and said more'n l ought
to. OF course could come back as
ghost and roost on the footboard of
the bed and keep you awake nights,
l.; .J-o
you most to death when you come
down after cider. but I'm not that kind
Of woman. Right here and now I
want to tell you that I'll never haunt
you nor your second wife. Don't you
think I'm purity good, SamuelT"
Mr.. Gallup had finished the pitch
fork testimonial and struck one where
stump, and he was SO interested that
he didn't hear her question. She
wept for three or four minutes and
then said: ~
"No, don't go to any unnecessary ex-
pense to lay away my mortal remains.
Samuel. AS my speerit will be fyin
around in heaven, it won't make no
Mrs. Thompson died, she wanted
funeral to cost $3.50. but I'm not Mrs.
Thompson. You'll marry again. Of
course. and you'll need all your money
to fam out with. Second wives allus
fam. Yours will want a new dishpan,
new curtains, new knives and forks
and as many as three new tablecloths
the very fust thing. 'Speakin of table
cloths, Samuel. I've made the last new
one last seven years. | don't expect
any praise fur it. but when your second
wife shakes one all to pieces in six
months you'll see a difference. What
kind of second wife are you goin to
marry, Samuel? You needn't be afraid
to tell me, fur there isn't a jealous hair
in my head. Will she be old or
young?
Mr.. Gallup yawned and stretched and
thrust out his legs. but he had nothing
to say.
Mrs. Roedecker says you'll probably
marry young chit of II, and Mrs.
Jackson says you'll probably look fur
a wilder with as many as five cows,
but | amt goin to find no fault in
either case. On the contrary, l kinder
pity you. Second wives allus smash
and break and bust things. and if you
say anything they'll sass back and pull
hair. You'll be rid of me and my trub
bles, Samuel. but there'll be times when
you'll sit down on the wash bench out
doors and wish was back. Yes, you'll
acknowledge to yourself that l was
hardworlSin and savin and that was
no hand to CAD about. but FL be an
angel, and you'll hev to plug along the
best you kin without me. That's all.
Samuel, and I will now die and hev it
over with
She stretched out on the lounge and
folded her hands and closed her eyes
and for ten minutes there was silence.
Then Mr.. Gallup yawned again, look
ed around and saw her there, and as
he rose up to wind the clock and go to
bed he observed:
You'd better turn the cat outdoors
and see If the kitchen window is fas-
tened up NJ. Guam.
. :