davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
"Writ sarcastic"

The Argonaut
During last Thanksgiving week poul-
tryman of the Northwest sent several
barrels of fat, dressed turkeys to a Ger
tain commission merchant. who is an ex
tremely close buyer and never fails
when he receives a consignment to claim
an allowance for something alleged to
have spoiled on the way. Heretofore he
had dealt exclusively in live fowls, and
probably the correspondence clerk got
things mixed. AT any rate, the shipper
was astonished to receive a letter by
return mail, running about as follows:
Dear Sir; We regret to advise you
that four of the turkeys in your corsign-
ment OF November reached here dead
Please make deduction for same, and
return correct amount Yours truly
The poultryman communed with him
self and replied thus: 4a.
Dear Sir: am sorry to. say 1 find
it impossible to make concession request
Ell. l have established a rule requiring
all customers who desire live dressed tGr-
keys to notify us in advance, so VIC can
send them in heated cars. Turkeys with
our feathers and insides are liable to
catch cold If shipped in the ordinary man
ner. The mortality among dressed tur-
kys was very large this year. Yours
moQrnfully."
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
SUNDAY GLOBE CHANCES.

80 -
A little more snow would have made
the Christmas holiday week an ideal
one in. the matter Of weather.
-..s-5 = -
1t will be Senator Towne until about
Feb. 1, in any event. The legislature will
net--vete. for senator before Jan %, and
If there. is az contest the election may
not take places for Esome time
q1.IS-o=-
Ira D. SanIsey sthe evangelical singer,
is. home fremIEnFape. He will soon be-
gin a tour ofc theii cities of the country
ito gather singers ito. begin a revival of
the old fashIDneds kind. He says sing
ers must feela religious music in their
hearts or they sc8nnot rouse devotional
feeling in etaers.se5ts plan is to cult
vate the American voice. in the interest
of ChristiantyG sff
20. o4-o--
Christmas ssas5 celebrated this year,
for the frstfltfmei on a general scale
among the Utah Mormens Joseph Smith
Christmas Day was not accurately
known, and they f&ould not celebrate on
an unknown day.
Dr. Sargent. director of Harvard uni
versity gymnasium, has invented a new
gymnastic apparatus, The machine is
a whole gymnasium. in itself. It con-
sists OF pair of levers connected by
four adjustable rods, with sliding seat
and a sliding foot: rest, which are in
turn connected by a power applying rod
ito crank Or gear or sproeket wheel.
The machine can be adapted to the pro-
puisioR' of tricycle. a, boat, a scuIl
canoe Or a simple gymnastfo machine.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
LORD BEREsFoRD,s DEATH.


In the death of Lord Beresford the
British nation loses a great sailor and
a patriotic man. No doubt his death
will do little to arouse public feeling in
England at this time. owing to the alb
sorpt1on of the British people in the.
cares of the war now prevailing in South
Africa. Among the American people his
loss will be nourned as that of a man
of intense conviction, who was animated
by the laudable wish to draw together
the two great branches of the English
speaking race in the closest alliance, in
war as we'll as in peace.
The contributions which Lord Beres-
ford made III the periodical publications
of the time as to the true relative posi-
tons of ENGLAND and the United States
in the Orient, and the addresses which
he delivered on the same subject from
the public platform, all went to prove
the intensity of his convictions on the
subject of the needed cooperation OF
England and the United States in COM,
mon world policy
To the labors of Lord Beresford was it
due in great measure that his govern
ment became specifically committed 10
the policy of the open door When
what was, known as the .'sphere of in
f1uence' agreement was reached by the
interested nations, Lord Beresford was
engaged in his propaganda for the open
door in the United States. And whetII-:
er warranted by the facts or net, the
agreement, coming as it did, was ac-
cepted by the friends of Beresferd and,
doubtless, by the admiral himslf, as be-
ing III some sense a Reputation of his
doctrines.
There may be no connection Between
this circumstance and his subsequent
subsistence. But it Is the fact that he
practically disappeared from the public
stage after his return to England, and,
indeed the regrettable report of his
death is the first circumstance since then
to call his personality to the attention
of the American people.
AdIllfdt 60reSlOru came OIL q uSHCIilS,
as well as of diplomatic, family. The
Beresfords have played prominent part
for several generations in the affairs of
the British empire, especially in eonnec-
ton with British ascendancy in Ireland.
It's members always showed the courage
of their position, and of their convictions,
if they had any. in anomalous situations
they were made to occupy toward the
bulk of their countrymen. The man
himself was more than worthy of the
traditions of his family, and, so far as
circumstances admitted, of the traditions
of the British navy. His death will be;
a subject of regret not only to the Brit
ish public. and to all Americans who
knew him personally, but to all men who
were familiar with his laudable efforts
to adjust the great problem of China In
the way which he believed would be most
consonant with the honor and interest
of the American and the English peo-
pies
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
Acc OF Hustling ProgFess.

NEW YORK Herald
: The ags is progressive, productive. ma
terialtstic. 1t aims not at the ideal, but at
the practical, not at the highest develop
ment of the few, but at the highest hap
piness of the greatest number. Its OBJ
ject is the welfare of the average man,
and It naturally desires that he will get
the benefit of its exertfons before he dies.
Therefore the age gets move on" and
breaches the gospel Of hustle" The re-
suit IS beneficial to the average man-to
the greatest number.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
That Full Dinner Pail.
philadelphia Times.

TuIIdutIpIIId I IIIIOo-
Prosperityadees not appear to be quite
so widely diffused among the mill hands
as they were led to expect before the
election. So many mills are shutting
down Just now as to leave something
to be- explained. OF course we shall be
told Of temporary trade conditions that
neeesitate this action. But, then, We
were told last fall that it was not trade
conditions, but Mckinley, that made
prosperity, and that if we reelected hira
we should have good wages for at least
four years more. The full dinner pail, it
would seem, was for campaign uses
only.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
auarreling over the Spells.

Madison Press.
The leaders Of that noble band Of pa
triots which was SO lately engaged in
the work of saving the state from the
hands of the fusionists are now busify
engaged in the more glorious work of
quarreling over the spoils from senator
down to custodian of spittoons at the
state capitol
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
Root SPOKE the rruth.

Washington Times.
We congratulate Secretary Root upon
his honest and manly defense of the army
canteen. IT takes courage In these times
for a public man to stand out openly
against the efforts of fanaticism and
hysteria to demoralize the army. When
Mr.. Root says that these misguided
people" who are endeaVoring to secure
the establishment of Illicit whisky dives
on the outskirts of army posts ':are doing
Satin's work he speaks no more than
the truth.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30

of life, or avoid the. theological hell after
death? Is religion to lift life. or to es-
cape the pains Of death? 1t should be
: proposition so plain that he VINO runs
can read, that if this world is managed
Alright, the next viii take care of itself
Such facts aseithess above are enough to
staertle the m8st skeptical to the truth.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
MYSTERIOUS SHOT
That Fatally Wounds an Enginecr
Duty in His Dab

on Duty in His Cab.
Tennyson (I<y.) Special New York World,
For twenty miles Engineer Mat HenseI-
man, of the Louisville, Evansville q St
Louis railroad, sat in his cab gripping
MS lever with gaping bullet hole
through his left lung. AS the train pull
ed into Tennyson H8nseIman raised his
arm arm to pull the lever. Immediately be
began TO cough up blood, and in a fews
moments pitched forward UNCONSCIOUS.
Until the hemorrhage Hanselman had
feIt no pain ether than sharp twitching
IN the left side How he received his
wound is mystery. At GerryyiIle, thir-
~ miles, from. here, he got off his engine
to take orders, There was nothing the
matter with him then
The. fireman declares that he heard no
report of gun, and that Hanselma an
never knew when the bullet struck him
The ball entered the breast between tho
seventh and eighth ribs and cours ed
downward into the stomach. There is no
broken glass in the cab, nothing to show
Where the ball entered. HanseIman will
dle lie is not known to have had any
enemies.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
Has Nothlng to Do with fthe case.

Memphis Commercial Appeal.
There is one suspicious thing about the
defense in the Booz inquiry. Why has
so much pains been taken to prove that
the dead cadet was a coward2 If there
has been no hazing at West Point and
Booz did not die of injuries received in
the hazirg process, why not eonfne the
defense TO the establishment of these
facts? His pluck or lack of it has moth
ing to do with the case and the injection
of such an issue is confession of weak
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
McCIearyis Vote Proved 1t.

Farmers Leader.
McCieary said that the people "do not
understand" and they admitted the corn.
He got the largest majority ever given
O. congressman in Minnesota that had
an opponent
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
STATE PRESS COMMENT.
why Not consult Reese.

Hutchinson Times.
Well, anyhow, Gov-elect Van SAINT
is good at keeping secrets A good
many wouId-bes are guessing hard-and
the captain won't give away what he
will give away.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
THIS WORLD FIRST.

Rev. c. H. Mead, of New York city, in
a lecture before large audience at New
Haven, Conn, under the auspices of the
Congregational club, on Christmas eve,-
is quoted as saying:
Sunday schools give tco much atten-
ton to preparing their members for the
life to come, instead of for this life, in
which the young are constantly beset with
pitfalls. From friend Of mine, Rev
side, 1 have learned that there are at
present. more than SEQ young girls of ex-
cellent Christian families, of tender age,
who are living with Cinnamon. Twelve
of this number are daughters of clergy
men.
In other words, New York city alone
furnishes apparently as many daughters
of Christian families to live with China
men life of shame, as the churches of
the entire United States send to China to
save Cinnamon from the wrath to comes.
New York city is only a small part Of
the United States, and the Chinamans
den is only one, and among the least
in number and influence of the institu-
tons for the breeding of vice and crime
1t is safe to say that for every daughter
of Christian family sent to do mission
airy work at home or abroad, there are
a hundred or a thousand sent TO swell
the ranks of the wretched in the haunrs
of vice. The point made by the rever-
end lecturer, therefore, that more eff
fort should be directed to saving the
young people of the Sunday schools from
the pitfalls Of this life, rather than so
much stress upon preparing for the life
to come, is well taken.
What hell can one conceive of IN the life
to come worse than that which confronts
the children of Christian parents in the
dens of our modern cities? If the hells
of this life are taken care of. what cause
is there for fear and anxiety IN regard
TO the hell of the life to come? Witch.
after all, is the true aim and mission
of Christianity-to destroy the real hell
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
For November.

Ernest Hopwced superintendent circulation of the ST. Paul
Globe being duly depes actual circulation
the ST Paul Globe for November herewith correctly set forth
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30
FURTHER PROOF is READY.

The Globe invites any every Interested at any fine
make full scrutiny of its circulation lists visit its
and mailing departments check and keep number
papers printed and the disposition Of the sam.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30

hundred years ago, according to his
tory, Thomas Jefferson rode to his in
auguraI ceremony on horseback. 1t is
now proposed that Mr.. Mckinley go to
his in horseless vehicle-an automobile.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-12-30

New Year coming on apace
What have you to give me?
Bring you seattle or bring you grace,
Face me with an honest face;
You shall not deceive me:
Be it good or ILL., be it WHAT you, viii,
1t needs shall help me on my road
My rugged way to heaven. please God.
Christina Rossetti.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-12-15
"A, CHRISTMAS ~TRUCE;
The Story Of an American Boy In
Paris.
BY ZOE ANDERSON NORRIS.


| standing OK this sole audience. mus
| between much telling Of stories and mora
| laughing at them our friendship appeared
| 10 be cemented. To be planted squarely
upon a sure and firm foundation. but it
/ is about just such things as that that you
| can never tell.
1t was over next to nothing that we
quarrelcd. the simplest thing in the world.
1t was this: The first time | saw him he
came into the dining room with his head
shaved close. Il went into n barber
shop" he told us. land look what the
man did to me! 1 knew enough French
to start him, and then I didn't know
enough to get him to stop"
That struck me as hilariously funny.
Even the foreigners laughed when it was
translated to them. So it happened that
in writing back l mentioned Doddy and
related this anecdOte of him.
How could l know that they would
hand my private letter over to an edit or
and that the editor would proceed prom pit
ly to publish it? How could l know even
that the papers. always ON the lookout
for a CLINT of fun. would copy the little
story here. there and everywhere. and
that in four or five weeks time those
same papers would appear upon the ia
bles of every American reading room in
Paris, and, worse still. that numerous
friends of the boy would hand him cop
les and laugh? For. alas. / had given
his name.
This was my first intimation of it. /
was sitting III my room mending my glove
when there came a knock at the door.
"Entrez." | called out in my newly ac-
quired French. The door opened, and
there stood Doddy.
l sprang up, threw the glove aside and
ran to meet him. glad. as / always am, to
see The boy from Milwaukee.
Come in! Come i'm l cried. II am
dead lonesome. Bring your mandolin
and let's have jig. l have learned the
piano accompaniment by now"
But there was never an answering
smile on the boys cOuntenance. He faced
me with a look that struck cold to my
heart. The smile died on mine. l start
ed back as if | had had a blow and
stared. Could this be my dear old bod
dy?"
Il should like to see you for one mo
ment." he said in Il manner as cold as his
face and in the firm. severe tones of Il
full grown man.
why. certainly" l gasped. "for two
If you like. Wherein the little kitch-
en- that isn't used or in the hall or out
in the big hall. with the concierge look
ing on?' For there was no salon. and the
precision Of Doddy's manner Gale, for Il
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-12-15
THE STORE DETECTIVE.
At Times He Makes II Unpleasant
For Others Than ThieNes.

At Times He Makes IL Unpleasant
For Others Than Thieves.
A young woman who sings in a church
choir in this city was in one OF the de-
partment stores the other day when
the detective employed there stopped
beside her and, pointing to a woman
with long cape and bag at an adj
joining counter, said:
."JuSt watch that woman work"
The singer saw the woman take two
articles from the counter when the
shopGirl was not looking and drop
them into her bag.
"Why. she is stealing" she said.
"EeS." said the detective. and if you
will follow her To the next counter with
me you will see her take more things"
The singer was interested. and she
walked along With the detective. Two
more articles were dropped in the bag.
and then the detective arrested the
shoplifter. She made the usual scene
and protested her innocence. The de
tective asked the singer If she would
step back TO the office with him and
corroborate his charges. and she went.
unconscious of further trouble. There
was no doubt as to the Shoplfter'S
guilt. She came OF n respectable fam
lily, and she convinced the singer that
she took the articles not because she
needed them or the money that they
would bring. but because she had the
shOplifting habit.
When these facts were settled. the
detective thanked the singer for her as
SiStance and told her that she must he
in the police court at q o'clock on the
following morning as witness. 1t
was the singers turn IL make Il scene.
She protested against being dragged
into 4 police court and said that such
notoriety would seriously injurc her in
her work. The detective insisted ard
had the charge against the Shopliftcr
not been withdrawn before the case
reached the court the singer would
have been ore of the witnesses. She
denounced the detective and the store
which employed him for imposing On
its patrons in that fashion. and she is
going to make il her business hereafter
to keep out of the way of store detect
ives. Had the singer been forced to go
to court her punishment in the consc-
quent notoriety would have been al
most as hard as that inflicted on the
shoplifter-Ncw York Sun.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-12-15

| .lvt. L sat waiting for him in my roOm-
1 waited Il long time. l had has cigarette
case in my hand ready. for after Christ
| mas day OF such loneliness was deter
mined, If possible, to make friends with
him again. I was afraid of going TO
sleep and dreaming the day all over again
otherwise.
At last I heard his latchkey in the
door and his footStep in the hall. 1 wait
ed until he should have had time TO light
his candle; then. softly opening my door.
l went out and halted, looking at him.
He was standing 10y the heavy mahog-
any table 1pon which fiickered his candle.
l haven't much pride when il comes To 4
question Of happiness or unhappinesS. IL
lowly manner l approached him. He
started at seeing me. but glanced up with
out smile His ia in the light Of the
candle hurt my heart.
Won't you forgive me. Doddy:" l i'm
plored. u will never do it again-nPv-
er, l promise YOU
| closed my fingers over the cigarette
case l was afraid to give it to him just
vet-afraid he might fling it back at me
or bang II on the floor, for Doddy was
so young that l often wondered how his
mother happened to let him stray 50 far
from home.
What sort of Christmas have You
had:' l ventured. talking high and light
ly. as if nothing at all had happened.
''Cnustmas..' he repeated, and the tone
was enough.
Did YOU get any presents?" 1 asked
him after a moment of silence, though his
manner hardly invited Interrogation. 1t
left ne under the impression. on the con-
trary, that he was carefully weighing his
words, perfectly aware of the fact that
they would eventually appear in some
American newspaper at so much per.
They have forgotten me- he said by
and by. Il haven't been over here six
months. and. by Joye. they have forgot
ten all about me-
They hadn't The mails had been de-
layed. That was all. But the day had
passed.
Opposite the table is a big carved chair.
He went over to it, doubled himself up
in a diSconSolate heap there. clasped his
two hands about his knees and dropped
his chin on his young breast. which
heaved.
hesitated for one moment only. Then
l went to him. took his head in my
hands, drew it back. bent forward and
kissed him.
With a sob he threw his arms around
me and gave me Il bear hug that took
away my breath.
Quit l cried. You are killing me-"
He Rugged me all the tighter. Looking
up radiantly. he whispered: Lets forget
those people back there. They have for
gotten Us. Let's be married. you and |.
and live in a little Hat and bc happy ever
after"
Would you marry a penny a-lmer?"
I asked.
Don't be mean" he commanded,
frownin".
BY this time l had rescued myself.
stood II little way off.
Il Will marry You. | told him from
there. when YOU have got to he rs old
as l am and as young as YOU
But that will never be- he objected
wistfully.
"Of course ,nt. foolish" l had arriv-
ed at my q Anyway" | concluded.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1900-12-15

| salon or something, If possible, even more
| impressive.
| This is no joke said he, and there
| was not the twinkle of a laugh at the
| corners of his mouth or in his eyes.
| Look here
Reaching in the pocket of his vest, he
| produced Il slip cut from a paper and
| thrust il at me. | took it wonderingly
| and read a scrap from my letter with the
account of DOddy and his cute little hair
| cutting joke. l read to the finish. then
| looked up at him.
| We'll, what of it ?" 1 inquired.
! '.What of it," he blazed. Nothing.
! only they have been pokinc the thing al
me the whole day long; nothing, only
| l am the laughing stock of the establish
! ment. 1 am the joke of Paris. the boy
who didn't know enough French to get
! his hair cut. That's all, That's ALL
| ''Oh. DOddy, Oh. Doddy." l sighed.
| And after a time. very humbly, Il didn't
| mean it that way" l explained. 1T was
q private letter. l never expected it to
/ be published. How could 1 know that it
| womb get into the hands of an editorf"
You ought to have known" he storm
| ed, since you write. You writers, you
have no respect for the private affairs of
people. so you make money out of them.
you publish anything. Nothing is private
, To you. Nothing is sacred
'Doddy." 1 demonstrated. that was no
private affair. You said it right there at
the table with a dozen listening. Didn't
you?''
Il did he acknowledged deiantly.
, but do You suppose l thought once of
your The accent on that you" came
near bringing the tears. Il forgot you
were a penny-a-liner: that you were sit
ting there taking the thing down. con-
graduating yourself that you were to get
so much n word for it
"A penny a liner so much a word"
= penny-a-liner doesn't get much u
word even.
'Doddy." said presently. quite calmly.
too. considering everything. Il didn't get
a cent for that anPcdote, not n red cent.
IL was n private letter not intended for
publication. Won't you believe that|
"YOu can't believe anything these peo-
ylc who write say" he declared. They
mix their lima ginatiOn up with facts
that they get 50 they cant tell the truth.
You know it. And now see what you
have done. You have made me nOtori-
uus. 40 you suppose 1 want cheap news
paper notoriety like that! l hate it.
hate it,
was stricken to the duSt-mute. In
storm of anger he flung himself out Of
the room and slammed the door.
After that he sat dumb and unforgiv-
ing at one end of the long table. and |
sat silently at the other. 1t was impOs-
sible to catch his eye. lie refused by 50
much as look 10 reveal his c0gnizance
IF my existence.
Then Christmas day approached. We
had arranged for the day. Doddy and |.
We had prepared to ward off homesick-
ness. to certain extent at least. He
was to make me Il present. and l was To
make him one
There is Il little bust of Napoleon in
a shop down i'll the Rue St. HonorC that
| want" | told him. "You get it for
me. and | will buy you cigarette case
in the same shop. They cost about the
same morey. Is it go?'
ITS Il go" answered he, and we shook
hands on it