davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01
Charles Lamb Had His Little Jokes.

Charles Lamb Had His Little Jokes.
The Rev. David Macrae in English
Humor: A pretentious poet got his
verses submitted to Charles Lamb by a
friend just before the poet was to meet
Lamb at dinner. Lamb found the
verses to be feeble echoes of other
poets, and when the author arrived he
was seen to be as empty as his verses.
This awakened Lambs spirit of mis-
chievous waggeiy. AT dinner he said
in the course of conversation: That
reminds me of some verses | wrote
when | was young" and then he quot
ed a line or two which he recollected
from the poets book, to the lattcr's
amazement and indignation. Lamb
was diverted immensely, but kept per-
iectiy serious and quoted more lines in
connection with another remark. beg
ging the company to remember how
young he was when he composed them.
The author again looked daggers at
him. Lamb capped all by introducing
the first lines of Paradise Lost" cor
mans first disobedience, etc.) as also
written by himself. which brought the
poet to his feet bursting with rage.
He said he had sat by and allowed his
own little verses" to be appropriated
without protest, but when he saw Mil
ton also being pilfered from he could
sit silent no longer. Lamb reveled in
telling this story. On another occa-
sion Lamb was brought into contact
with retired cheesemOnger, who aped
nobility and dsliked any reference to
the trade by which he had made his
fortune. A discussion arose about the
poor law and in its course the cheese
monger said haughtily: You must
bear i'll mind, sir, that have got rid of
all that nonsense you refer to as the
milk of human Kindness Il know
it," said Lamb; you turned it all into
cheese"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01
New York Letter.


Germs of disease, brought over the
Atlantic or from the Caribbean, wheth-
er of the dread yellow fever or of the
more dreaded bubonic plague. at the
port of New York find their progress
effectually barred For at least three
years the health authorities at quar-
antine have been fully prepared to
fight all kinds of infectious disease.
Constant experiments have been go
ing on in the meteorological labora-
tory. Numerous serums have been
produced by the incubation of animals
and important discoveries have been
made in the use of gases for the de-
struction of disease germs Improved
apparatus has been obtained for the
application of disinfectng agents, and
the use of formaldehyde gas in the
place of the old-time sulphurouS ACID
has been long step forward.
All ships arriving at this port are
boarded by deputy health officer from
the Charles f. Allen. If the ship has
come from an infected port, or il any
of her passengers or crew show signs
of contagious disease. the vessel is o.
dered into quarantine and completely
isolated. The first step then taken by
the health officers is to destroy all
germ life on board the infected ship.
For this work the James w. Wads-
worth. a small sidewheel steamer. has
been deliberately fitted out. The Wads-
worth, equipped with a complete steril-
izing plant, is moved alongside the in
fected ship. The passengers and
crew, with all their baggage and per-
sonal effects, are assembled on the up
per deck of the Wadsworth thence
passing down companionway to the
disrobing rooms in the stern Each
persons clothing is made into a sep
arate bundle for which a check is Civ
en-. All then pass into the bathrooms
These suites of rooms are in dupii-
cate, so that male and female passen-
gers may be treated at the same time
with the most perfect secluson and
privacy. The whole interior of the
boat with which infected passengers or
crews come in contact is enameled
with porcelain
Inc bathrooms are divided into
stalls, where each person. occupying
his individual cell" is treated to a
shower bath of weak solution OF
chloride of mercury, which destroys all
germs that may be present on the sur
face of the body. While this has been
going on the clothing has been steril-
lied by the action of superheated steam
in large steel vacuuE chambers in the
central department of the boat. A
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01

steam, formaldehyde gas and sulphur
dioxide gas are blown in sufficient
volume and strength to search out
every crevice and Granny of the wood
work. After period of six or eight
hours the ship is completely opened up
to allow the noXious fumes to escape.
All the decks and woodwork are
washed down with solution of BIZ
chloride of mercury. This work is
done with scientific thoroughness by a
body of trained experts. AS a further
precaution, after the foregoing pro-
cess of disinfection has been completed
samples of all materials from the
disinfected ship which might possibly
carry contagion are carefully exam
ined in the psychological evidence of
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01

The astronomer explained that he was
hurrying home to meet his wife and
friends; that to be detained in such
fashion was tri1e absurd, especially
as he was Sir John Herschel Sir
John Herschel." echoed the officer. He
laughed. and the crowd took up the
cry. In the end poor Sir John had to
send for friends who could vouch for
him. With many expressions of re-
greet, the police then allowed him to
depart. He was late, very late, for
dinner, but the worst of it was that
with an excellent excuse, he did not
care to communicate it at the dinner
table.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01
Baiieys Laxative Tablets Cures C0nstipa-
tiOn. "a

The active principle is cascara sa-
grada, plant found in California.
1t does not do the work for the bowels
but makes the bowels do their own
work. 1t gets the bowels back in the
habit Of doing their own work, and
after they have been reused into a
state Of healthy activity, and the liver
and other organs also, they will con-
tinue on without medicine. They
will cure sick headache, billiousness
and liver troubles and constipation
and remove poisonous matter from
the system. Put up in 10 and % cent
packages. For sale j. I. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01
A NEW FAD IN DESIGNING.

One of the latest fashions among ar
tistic and talented women is design
ing in stained glass. In New York
city society of arts and crafts was
recently formed for the designing of
decorative windows by women. The
success of this society may be judged
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01

In that greatest of businesses, mod
ern warfare, machinery continues to
play an ever greater and more i'm
portant part. Time was when the sol
der dug his trenches with a spade
bayonet, and tedious and difficult work
st was. In up-to-date warfare all this
is changed. for hereafter progressive
nations will use the steam trench
maker, a picture of which is shown in
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01

the accompanying illustration. This
huge steam pillow for cutting trenches
was invented by Col. Templer of the
royal engineers, and is being made use
of for the first time by British officers
in South Africa. This pillow is hauled
by large traction engine and can turn
up several miles OF trenches in few
hours.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01
nrauInr a Fine Distinctlon

Laurence Gronlund, the soclallstlc
writer who died few weeks ago IN
New York, was a thorough pessimist.
One evening, after he had denounced
the modern industrial system in saw
age terms, friend remarked: 1T is
not so bad as Russian despotism, is
it?" mot quite; the former is the
worst possible; the latter the worst
conceivable"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01
Iabor-Saving Device.

From the New York Journal: Mrs.
Tanque-Don't you get awfully tired
waiting for your husband to come
home evenings? Mrs. Lushe-Oh. |
never sit up for him. l have a phono-
graph in the hall which starts talk
ing as soon as he opens the door.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01

germs, which is usually from six to
eight days.
The disinfection of the passengers
and crew having been accomplished.
the attention of the officials of the
Wadsworth is turned to the sterilizing
OF staterooms, hold and cargo. All
bedding from the staterooms and
crews quarters, all table linen, car
pets, rugs and hangings are treated
with superheated steam in the vacuum
sterilizing chamber A portable for
maldehyde gas generator is then car
ried on board and the staterooms and
saloons are filled with this gas. the
most powerful disinfectant known.
The hatchways of the ships hold are
carefully battened down and live
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01
TITLED nv Old Methods.

The soil of Egypt at the present day
is titled by exactly the same kind OF
plow that was used 5000 years ago.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01

Albuquerque, N NJ. has the record
Of the greatest number of sunshiny
days in the year Of any town on the
American continent
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01

The mud picked up by the wheels
does not increase the speed.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01

hatchway in the
deck opens into
I h IS disinfecting
room, and any OBJ
jects like bedding
which it is desir-
able to treat in the
retort with the
bundles of cloth
ing are pitched
down from above.
An iron cradle is
drawn out of the
steam chamber,
which is loaded
with the objects in
fected.
When this is
showed back into
place and the OPP
ening made fast the
steam is turned on,
subjecting the arti-
cleS to a heat of
gao degrees Fair
enheit. All articles
of clothing which
might be damaged
q destroyed by the
action of steam are
diSinfected w it h
formaldehyde gas.
which is sure death
to all germs, and
does not injurious
ly affect fabrics.
Passing from the
bathrooms the pas
sengers We
their clothing, and
are transferred to
II o f m a II island,
where they are de-
tanned during the
period of incuba-
ton of the disease
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01

PHYSICIAN-F. M CRoNIN NJ. d. @
once over ZieglerS hardware store east
of court house, Lancaster. Calls in city AID
country promptly attended.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01

Japanese mills prefer American cot
ton because it has longer staple than
that from any other country.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01
Official 9Directorp.
LAWYERS.

A TTORNEYS-LowRY & CLEMENTsoN. z
Practice in all courts. Prohating of estates
and real estate collections sTecialty. OhtCo
over Basford'S store in front of court house.
Branch Office at Fennimore.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01

PHYSICIAN GoDFREY,tM. D.
ONCE over Postofflce, Lancaster Resi-
denCe two blocks northwest Grand Central
hotel.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1900-02-01
PUBLISHED ON
Z THURSDAY.

For over fifty-eight
years q National Fam
lily papeI@ for farmers
and villagers, whose
.
readers have represent
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1900-08-09
Mr.. Aliaferro Talinferro.

II suppose" said government clerk
to the man across the table, that you
have heard Of the Virginia family Of
Derby which spells It's name En-
roughly, as we'll rs the humleys
Of England, but l came across one the
other day that I'll bet hat you never
heard of. The subject Of the sketch
was Virginian or claimed that he
was, and he was so youthful and un-
sophisticated that guess he was tell
ing the truth. Children and fools, you
know, have weakness III that regard.
II met the young fellow on n train
between Richmond and Petersburg,
and we struck up quite an acquaint-
nnce. He told me his name was TOLL.
ver-Oliver Tolliver-and l very natu
rally asked him II he spelled his name
as did the famous F. F. V. Taliaferros,
and he said he did and seemed to be
proud Of 1t. ! was rather proud to be
friendly with one OF the name myself
and made myself extra agreeable.
when he left me at a way station
and bade me goodby, he rendered me
his card and told me he hoped would
not forget him. didn't look at the
card till he had gone, and, would you
believe 1t, the young fellow had his
name spelled to match. as 1t were, and
1t appeared thus, 'Mr. Aliaferro Talia-
fcrro,' which, in my humble opinion.
was getting Oliver Tolliver down pret-
ty fine. Don't you think so tooT-
Washington Star.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1900-08-09
Iamnirea NOf BlOOdSnckerA.

Mr.. James Rhen, who IS engaged In a
special study of bats, says that 1t Is
fallacy that the vampire Is a blood
sucker. Travellers and story writer's
are responsible for the story Of the ter
rible boodsucking vampire bats Of
South America. Nearly all general
writers on this subject agree with
them as to its criminal record, and they
all concur In laying the blame on a
large grotesque looking bat with an
enormous leaf nose, the Vampyrus
spectrum This bat Is common in
South and Central America and, from
his great size, being about two feet
across the outspread wings, Is n sug-
gestive and repulsive enough object to
impute the blood loving habit to.
AS q matter Of fact this Is some
what useful animal and Is totally lnno-
cent of these charge, the bloodsuck-
ers being two much smaller and rarer
bats. The front teeth Of these two lat
ter are enormous lancets occupying
over half the tooth row Of the animals
and possessing very sharp edges, which
can easily penetrate the human skin.
The teeth Of the big vampire, on the
other hand, are simply adapted for q
diet Of insects and fruit. The true
bloodsucking bats are much rarer than
the vampire.-Philadelphia Record.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1900-08-09
THURM0NT Frederick County, Maryland Thursday August 8, 1900
A Lake That Eats Boats.

A strange lake exists In the center OF
Sulphur island off New Zealand. 1t Is
30 acres in extent. about IL feet IN
depth and Is feet above the level of the
sea.
The most remarkable characteristic
Of this lake Is that the water contains
vast quantities Of hydrochloric and sui
phuric acids kissing and bubbling at q
temperature Of 40 degrees r.
The dark green colored water looks
particularly uninviting. Dense clouds
Of sulphuric fumes constantly roll of
this boiling caldron, and care has to be
exercised in approaching this lake to
avoid the risk Of suffocation. On the
opposite side Of the lake may be seen
the tremendous blowholes, which.
when In full blast, present an awe In
spring sight.
The roar of the steam as It rushes
forth into the air Is deafening, and
often huge powders and stones are
hurled out to height Of several hun
dred feet by the various internal forces
Of nature.
A boat can be launched on the lake,
and II proper care be observed the very
edges Of the blowholes may be safely
explored.
Some idea Of the strength Of the acid
saturated water of this lake may be
gathered from the fact that boat al
most dropped to pieces after all the
passengers had been landed, as the
rivets had corroded under the influence
Of the acids.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1900-08-09

Admiralty Weak ON GeOgfaphy.
During the Boer war Of 1880 the ad.
miralty was hopelessly ignorant Of the
geography Of South Africa.
The admiral In charge Of the feet at
Cape Town received strict orders that
he was not on any account to lombard
the town Of Potchefstroom. Now, as
Potchefstroom Is good many hun.
dred miles from the seacoast and lies
on the MOoi river, which Is barely 200
yards across and dry for three parts
Of the year, this order was superdu-
GUS.
During the same period the fleet was
Mt Port Elizabeth, and the admiral
headed dispatches to the admiralty
from that seaport. BY the next mail
he again sent dispatches, but happened
to head them IAlgoa bay.
The admiralty cabled out asking him
location Of the fleet without instruc.
tions, sublimely ignorant Of the fact
that Port Elizabeth and Algoa bay are
one and the same place.
BY the way, the names AlgOa bay
and Delagoa bay are derived from the
outward and homeward voyages Of the
old East Indiamen who, on their voy.
ages to Goa, In India, were wont to
call Mt Port Elizabeth on the outward
voyage and ut Lourenco Marques on
the homeward voyage. Hence the
names Algoa Ito Goa) and Delagoa
(from Goa).-Stray Stories.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1900-08-09
In New York's New Rich Society.

A salient feature Of the reign of the
new rich Is the habit Of estimating q
mans success in life solely by the mon
ey he has acquired. There are gather
ings Of society In New York where II
the question were asked about fellow
citizen, HAS he been successful?" the
answer would be In the negative had
the person inquired about not accumu-
lated wealth. No matter whether he
had served his country as n soldier,
statesman or philanthropist. had led
the youth of his generation rs n college
president, had been an educator Of the
people in school or pulpit, had achieved
wide renown as a jurlst, had written
great book, had held multitudes en-
thrallcd by his poetry, had painted no.
BILE pictures, had advanced science or
surgery, had created leading news
paper or magazine! Nothing of all this
tells. He Is not success" because he
has not piled up dollars to flaunt In the
worlds face!-Saturday Evening Post.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1900-08-09
The Sultan's Ba rbarOus Capital.

European ladies constantly run away
with the idea that Constantinople Is
civilized town and act accordingly.
Then they are astonishcd when some
thing disagreeable happens, and con.
tinually one hears Of ladies being. hus-
tied, pinched or kissed by Turkish sol.
dIers. 1t must be remembered that the
soldiers are recruited from the widest
tribes In Asia Minor, where woman Is
considered an inferior creature, who
must give way to man, besides being
trained to avoid him on all possible Oc-
casions.
One can easily imagine that such a
soldier is astonished to see European
lady unveiled, boldly expecting him to
give way to her or at any rate not
avoiding him, and he naturally takes II
to be an advance on her part. Ladies
have often told me they have been
pushed by soldiers into the gutter. and
have nearly always found that 1t is
simply as l have explained, that nei-
ther makes way for the other, with the
result that the lady, being the weaker,
comes to grief.-London Telegraph.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1900-08-09
Powder Burns In Shooting Cases.

fOWOeF ShOOtIuB SubCOs
Powder burns have played a curl
ously important part before the courts"
remarked New Orleans lawyer who
has a large criminal practice. "Their
presence or absence Is often depended
upon to determine proximity in mystic
rious shootings, and they have fire.
quently settled the question OF suicide
or murder where the fact was In doubt.
II was interested In a case Of that
kind In the early days OF my practice
and prevailed upon n prominent sur
geon of this city who Is now dead to
ascertain for me by practical expert
ment upon body In the dlssecting
room exactly how far away the ex-
plosion of pistol would produce burns
and powder marks. He used 30 cal
iber revolver and found that the flame
of the discharge made distinct burn
ut u distance Of 2h feet, and powder
marks were left at distance Of more
than two yards.
"Of course the grains were not actu-
ally driven into the skin, as they are at
shorter range. but the marks were
clearly discernible and could not be
easily removed. was surprised at the
result, and it satisfied me that many
erroneous conclusions had been drawn
from such evidence In the past. 1t Is
generally supposed that the weapon
must he held almost against the skin to
leave traces Of flame and POWDER
New Orleans Times Democrat.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1900-08-09
Church Directory.

Reformed Church-Rev. G. A Whitmore
AS or. Sunday School $50 a. m. Divine
Services alternate Sundays, 1890 a. m. and
7:45 p. IN.
Guild every Sunday evening, GAS. Mid
week services, Wednesday 7:45.
Lutheran Church Rev. w. S. T. Metzger,
castor. Services Sunday 10 A. NJ. and 500 P.
IN. Sunday School,, P. " Prayer Meet
ng, Wednesday, pm.
United Brethren Church-Rev. William
Daugherty Pastor. Regular Services by
appointment from the pulpit.
Glass Meeting every two weeks at 10 a. IN.
Prayer Meeting every Thursday evening.
Sunday School Pm.
Mite Society S"mi.monthly, Wednesday
Monthly at Parsonage.
Moravian Church: Rev. M. F. Oerter, Pas
tor. Sunday School every Sunday, a. IN.
Preaching services will be held every other
Sunday as heretofore. alternating morning
and evening at 10 ard $50 respectively.
Methodist Episcopal Church - Rev.
w. L. Orem Pastor Services every alter
nate Sunday at 10 A. M and 700 p. NJ
Sunday School at 8 A. NJ. Prayer Meeting
every Wednesday evening at 730 p. NJ Ep
worth League at $50 everv Sunday.
81. Stephens Church, Protestant Episcoal
Rev. Ernest McGill Rector. Services
every Sunday at 400, p. NJ, at Walkers
vile at 1890 a. m, at Thurmont,
SERVICE Saturdays at 400 p. m
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1900-08-09
He Was Worry Accommodates.

Apropos of the ready comprehension
and native wit attributed to the sons
of Erin. Patrick's compliance with the
customers wish stands out in bold ap-
position. Patrick was clerk In a sub
urban grocery store. 1t was q busy
season and the grocer was waiting up
on two or three customers at the same
time. He was in q hurry, and every.
thing had to be where he could get 1t
without much trouble or he would be
delayed and probably lose money, 80
when he found that the pound weight
was gone he was bothered.
Patrick" he called out, where's the
pound weightT'
1.-THE pound weight, Is it2'' said Pat
rick complacently. "Sure, an It's Mis-
ther Jones has the pound weight"
"Mr. Jones has IT. What do you mean
by saying that Mr.. Jones has the pound
weight l thought the pound weight
said in the store. How did Mr.. Jones
get it?'
IAN shure, didn't yez tell me to be
perlite to the regular customersT
"Of course"
"Well, thin, Misther Jones comes into
the store for pound Of tay. An, says
he, whin l asked him what quality Of
tay he would have, 'Whativer yez give
me- says he, give me the weight 30
put the pound weight in the package
with the tay, perlite like. an it's HIM
self that's gone with it."-Chicago
Post
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1900-08-09
THE
NEW YORK WORLD,
Thrice q Week Edition.
- Pages a Week
i56 Papers a Year.
FOR ONE DOLLAR.
Published Every Alternate Day
Except Sunday.

The Thrice Week edition of the New
York World Is first among all weekly" pa,
pers in size, frequency Of publication, and the
freshness, accuracy and variety of its con
tents. 1t has all the merit of a great Sc daily
at the price Of dollar weekly. Its political
news is prompt complete accurate and i'm
partial as all its readers will testify. 1t is
against the monopolies and for the people
1t prints the news of all the world having
special correspondence from all important
points on the globe. 1t has brilliant illus.
trations, stories by great authors, a capital
humor page, complete markets, departments
for the household and women's work and
other special departments of unusual inter
est.
We offer this uncqualcd newspaper and
THE CAToCTIN CLARION together one year
tor 81 6j
The regular subscription price Of the two
papers is 81 co.