davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15
Quashing m AIibi.

Defense Advocate-Sir, the officer
charged with being intoxicated while
on duty is above the breath of suspi-
cion.
Police Commissioner - Sir, your
statement is ill-timed; the accused is
even at this moment munching cloves.
Judge.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15
Degree. of knowledge.

Mr.. Crimsonbeak-I suppose you
think man who would deliberately
blow out the gas KNOWS very little?
Mrs. Crimsonbeak-I shall say 1
did!
well, you know, after he has
blown out the gas he knows less
Yonkers Statesman.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15

"Those acrobats are very fresh,"
Said Miss Magee to me;
80, some are fresh and somersault,"
Said i to Miss Magee.
philadelphia North American.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15
A Difficult Rule.

"a bird that can sing but won't sing
Should be made to sing" his part;
The man that can't sing but that will sing
Should be stopped right at the start.
Judge,
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15
On the Safe Side

Don't say that Belinda's business schemes
Have not an iota of reason or rhyme
When l tell you she always burns her re-
ceipts,
Lest the bills be presented second time.
-Tudpe
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15
Bringing Him to Terms.

Blanche-I shall quarrel with him
tonight as matter of necessity.
May-What for?
Blanche-He hasn't been as devoted
to me lately as he ought.-Detroit
Free Press.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15
The Price of Fads.

Jane buys old things continually;
On new ones, too. she's bent;
And 'twixt these crazes, as you sec,
She never has a cent
Chicago Record.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15
Little In II.

1t sometimes happens that the man
who knows his own mind doesn't know
much after all.-Chicago Daily News.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15

Fanny-Now, when I'm asked to
sing, l never say: 80, can'tr 1 al
ways sit down at the piano
Annie-And let the audience find it
out for mselves?-Cigarette.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15
Not Appreciated. A

'I've lost my heart" the milkmaid sang.
And the farmland said: "B gosh.
/ reckon twouldn't make folks sad
Eff you'd also lost your voice"
Chicago Daily News.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15

Mrs. Snobington-We had meant to
call long before this, really, but with
the best intentions, somehow. we al
ways kept putting off the evil day
Punch
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15
Tommy,s Axersion.

"Tommy, let me help you to some
of this new dish, It's called"
"Never mind what it's called, auntie
Is it a health food?"
"No."
"Then I'll take me."-Chicago
Tribune.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15
A strnrrIer in the Rear.

Mrs. Crash-Is Mrs. Dash a society
woman?
Mrs. Cash-Well, yes; twice re-
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15

my little sisters got er new doll
wot squeals Wen you press it,"
"My mudder's got er new doll wot
speaks weder yer press it er not!"
IN. Y. Journal.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15

On the wings of the lightning
The Truth may fly.
But II never will quite
Catch up with the Lie.
Chicago Tribune.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1900-06-15

Mrs. Crash-Twice removed?
Mrs. Cash-Yes; she knows n lot OF
people who know n lot of people who
are in society..-Puck.
The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903, 1900-11-03

should appear. He is an elderly man
who looks like an old sea captain, one
who mas spent his life battling with
the storms and riding them out; get
ting into port safely voyage after
voyage by reason of seamanship, cOur-
age and a good ship. He may not
have been ON the ocean much. but his
face has the likeness of those who
ride the salt waves. Old, determined,
American, he was one Of the Spanish
commission, who accomplished the
treaty which Mr.. Bryan resigned from
the service to induce his fellow
democrats to ratify and has since
attacked from the stump. SEN
ator Frye related some OF the diff
culties of making that treaty
and explained the American reasons
for the cession of Porto Rico. the
withdrawal of the Spanish from Cuba
and the cessiOn to the United States
of the Filipino Islands. His recital
was 50 interesting. MS style so graphic
and positive, that he accomplished
the really difficult feat of satisfying
an audience which had come to see
one man. with quite another one.
Men and women are but cd children
and a story told by gifted sailor,
who has actually been a principal in
fights on sea and land is as breathless-
ly listened to by four thousand as by
four little children around hearth,
at bedtime when the lights are low.
But Senator Frye was simply doing
his duty, for when the face of Senator
Hanna hogan to shine in the southern
doorway the dear old salt instantly
withdrew carrying large store of
affection and appreciation with him.
The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903, 1900-11-03
Gibbs.

These Federation notes by an Omaha
woman in the Woman's Weekly are re-
printed because many views OF one
occasion are always interesting, because
| like Miss Fairbrother's crisp style.
because in my own report l forget even
to mention the inspired little address
delivered by Mrs. Sawyer. and because
criticism is good for Us and may assist
the program committee OF the next fed
Grafton and the speakers too to avoid
this years mistakes:
The women do not like the informal
ballot. They must have committee.
An amendment was introduced doing
away with the informal ballot and max
ing the presidents OF all the clubs a
committee on nomination II women
will not be sensible and cannot see that
the informal ballot is the only Amer
lean way, there is no doubt that the
large committee composed OF all the
presidents will make good substitute.
1t will be a caucus pure and simple,
but the women won't know it. The
only difference between the committee
and a regular caucus is that in the first
instance the club elects woman to be
president and che goes down to :he
state federation and votes in caucus.
By the other method the club would
10 Nh2
numerical strength OF the club. to 60
into caucus and represent the club or
the delegation. 1t is difference with
out a distinction. but it keeps the
dreadful word caucus out OF the
meeting. These things are all humor.
GUS, but the majority rules, and with
out caucus an informed ballot is an
lmpossibility. II women could only
The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903, 1900-11-03

Italian skies ever were and the sun
shines three hundred and fifty days
in the year, but the walks are nearer
than the skies and the eyes must
guide the feet through sights which
sicken the soul and smells that
wrench the stomach.
The council has been repeatedly i'm.
pOrtuned to pass an expectoration Or
dinance but without effect. Such an
ordinance has been passed and is eff.
fective in New York city. which is
controlled by Croker, who cannot be
accused Of a-fastidiousness.
1t is not the street commissioners
fault that the epidemic Of diptheria
in Lincoln is not wider spread. The
microbe-infested and soaked wooden
blocks have been used to fill up holes
in Sixteenth street near the q street
school and other streets. Three cases
of diptheria are reported from one
room in the Q street school. 1t is not
the fault of the street management
that the youngest born in every house
is not gasping for breath. The street
commissioners plan and purpose was
doubtless not murderous but economi-
cal. Its effect however would be as
fatal as HerOd's edict if it were not
for the dry healthy climate and the
obstinate health Of the blessed little
children of Nebraska.
The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903, 1900-11-03
Cleanliness.

The City Improvement Society met
on Thursday in the parlOrs Of the
Unions Commercial club. Although
neither the membership nor the at
tendance of this society is as large as
it should be, the meetings are always
interesting and lively. The protests
against the condition of the sidewalks
is repeated fOrtnightly. When wO-
men can vote it is certain that there
will be cleaner walks. An occasional
NJ. Gait may have lonesome spells.
get discouraged and let the fire go
out, but what of it, if men and women
can walk on clean pavements? 1t has
frequently been claimed by country
politicians that the moral tone in
Lincoln is lower than in any other
place in the state excepting Omaha.
1t is certain that physical surround
ipgs have an effect upon manners and
morals. The walks Of Lincoln would
disgrace frontier mining settlement.
The young boys of the high school are
set an abominable example and it
is the frequent complaint of parents
that Lincoln is discouraging place
in which to bring up boy. Around
the First National Bank crowd of
loafers is allowed to stand from sun.
I'D 20 shutdown. Some Of them are
respectfully dressed and all of them
are orators and tobacco chewers who
use saliva to emphasize their periods.
They are frequently joined by police
man who has not courage enough to
ask the loafers to move on. The con-
slant sight of these idle dirty men is
demoralizing to youth who easily get
az idea that life is one long loaf, and
chew. The expectorating crowd is
smaller on the Eleventh and y corner
but it is not less addicted to chewing
and splitting. Women are large tax
PAYERS in Lincoln and there is great
iuiustice in allowing few hundred
men to make the walks impossible for
them. Women Of Lincoln who pay
their taxes, and have for thirty years,
are obliged to go to banks grocery
Ctores, dry-goods stores, the postoffice
tcetera through filth, that if men
wore skirts, would be cleaned off the
walks and stay cleaned of. This is a
beautiful city. The sky is blue as
The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903, 1900-11-03
D. E. THOMPSON'S SENATORIAL
CANDIDACY
And the Legislative Ticket.
Shall Perfidy be Made Profitable

Shall Perfidy be Made Profitable?
d. E. Thompson was a candidate for
United States senator in 1899. and for
weeks sought the nomination in re-
publican caucus. As coon as he was
defeated in the caucus and Judge Hay
ward was nominated, Thompson en-
tered into a scheme with the fusionists
for the purpose of defeating Hayward
in the legislature. The agreement
which he made with democrats and
populists under the name Of fus;onists
has been repeatedly published. Mr..
Thompson is again candidate for sena-
tor, and in view Of his candidacy here
are few
Pertinent Questions to Republicans:
When D. E. Thompson, as a republi-
can, went into a republican caucus dur
ing the legislative session Of 1899, and
there sought 20 become the party's
candidate for U. s. senator. did he not
become in honor bound to abide by the
result OF the action of that caucus,
whether that action was favorable or
unfavorable to his candidacy?
After that caucus made Hon. M. L.
Hayward it's nominee, did ID. f. Thomp-
son, in seeking by a combination with
fusionists, political enemies of the re,
publican party, to defeat the will Of the
caucus and prevent the election Of its
nominee, act the part Of high-minded,
steadfast, and faithful republican. or
the part of perfidious, unfaithful. and
unworthy candidate for Office. who. to
crafty his ambition, would voluntarily
place upon himself and willingly bear
the brand of treachery to the party
whose representatives had supported
him for the office to which he aspired?
Is man whose political action is thus
biackened by such an act Of party dis
loyalty, unredeemed by single virtue,
entitled to the support Of decent, self
respecting republicans for high and
honorable position, the acquisition of
which must in effect operate as an en-
dorsement Of his unworthy conduct in
the attempted betrayal Of the republi-
can party?
Inasmuch as John j. Trompen, Rich
ard O'Neill, Arthur W. Lane, John III.
Mockett, Jr, Clifford r. Tefft, E. j.
ShaIIhorp and Charles 7 Warner ara
The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903, 1900-11-03

10 one who proved recreant to the
republican party and offered to betray
it into the hands Of the enemy shall be
allowed to receive the support OF the
legislative delegation from Lancaster
county. elected by republicans. will not
treason to the party be encouraged
rather than condemneds
So long as the above named candi-
dates are pledged to vote for d. f.
Thompson for United States senator is
it not the duty Of every republican to
refuse to support them for the purpose
Of showing that the action OF Thomp-
son in attempting by collision with
fusionists to defeat the nominee OF the
party is not endorsed, and that his
treachery is execrated?
Does the fact that recently these can
didates have published card in which
they state that they are republicans,
aud will 60 into caucus upon the quee-
ton IT senator and stand by the result
of the caucus, warrant republicans in
voting for them? Who. aside from him
self, pretends that d. E. Thompson is a
republican? Do not his actions speak
louder than his words? Did he not
take his senatorial candidacy into q
republican caucus tuo years ago and
keep it there for nearly sixty days. and
when rejected did he not attempt to
defeat the caucus nominee? When
these men stand pledged to vote for
Thompson is it not evident that they
are far from condemning his action?
Are men who have no higher concep
ton of party fealty worthy Of the sup
port of Observation-Disclosures.
The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903, 1900-11-03

know that caucus Is the only thing
which stands between the voter and
monarchy in this country they would
have more respect for il; but the mo-
ment the word caucus is spoken TO an
ordinary woman she is expected 10 be
very much surprised. aud in fact, dis
gusted, 50 that it must not be men
toned. But "a rose by any other name
will smell as sweet" 80 it does not mat
ter A committee OF all the presidents
will do, and after awhile, in four or five
centuries. things will get easy.
The Nebraska Federation OF Wom-
ems clubs took quite step upward aud
onward this year. for il was admitted
by all that the most interesting and best
day was the day devoted to practical
subjects domestic science, the schools
and industrial questions. 1t was long
day. too, beginning at nine o'clock in
the morning and lasting until ten in the
evening. with Mrs. Platt Decker Of
Denver, and Chancellor Andrews OF the
State University, as the best OF the
wine.
Mrs. Mary Moody Pugh of Omaha,
covered herself with glory by giving the
women a bright. interesting program in
the forenoon with several short papers
which were all inside the time limit
and in the afternoon one OF the bright
particular stars was Miss White OF
Wayne, who made perhaps the most
telling speech OF the whole federation.
The applause was so great that her
time was extended by unanimous wish
and her brightness. wit and common
sense all combined to make her a favor
lite, il not the favorite.
The city Of Lincoln was in its best
bib and tucker and the weather man
smiled and kept bright days on hand in
unlimited quantities every hit of the
time. There was only ore fault. and
we will mention it first in order to get
it out Of the way. The church where
the meetings were held was SO chilly
suffered from lack of warmth every
forenoon. 1t was positively beastly on
the platform in the drafts and it was
an unanswerable conundrum on all
sides, "Why could there not be little
warmth. il only for short time in the
morning?"
The place of meeting was inadequate
to the crowd but larger than the WON
ems voices, SO that could not be called
fault. Why can't women learn to talk
out loud when they must talk? or
course, a woman who stands before two
tunored OF her sex is in danger, there
is no doubt OF it, and it is always a
miracle when she gets out alive, but the
danger ia not lesseaed by making every
woman in the house either pity her or
hate her.
Miss French made very dramatic
entrance into the Federation, just at
the right time, as Mrs. Appersan said.
when we had a long, tiresome business
session and needed a change and some
thing pleasant to see and hear. Her
good stories, told as only a story teller
may tell story, made everyone laugh
and laugh long and heartily, so that she
must have felt herself real blessing.
The election OF officers was as har-
monious as such things usually are, in
fact, it was more so. The women voted
to sustain decision which one of their
number pronounced supplementary
and then wished they had not done so
The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903, 1900-11-03

each and all pledged to vote for ID E.
Thompson for United States senator, 10
not vote for these men an endorse
meut OF the action OF Thompson in bolt
ing the caucus and attempting TO de-
feat its nominee?
The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903, 1900-11-03

Inasmuch as John j. Trompen. Rich
ard O'Neill, Arthur W. Lane, John III.
Mockett, Jr, Clifford r. Tefft, E. j.
SheIlhorp, and Charles ]. Warner are
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1900-05-25
MODS THICK AT ST. LOUIS.
One Boy Killed and Three Men and Girl
Wounded in One Day.

One Boy Killed and Three Men and Girl
Wounded in One Day.
st. Louis. May 22.-One boy was
killed and three men and a girl were
wounded yesterday as a result of the
strike. The dead person is Martin Zika,
Is years Of age, struck in the left
breast by bullet fired from street
car, and intended for riOter in the
act of throwing a stone. The wounded
are Clarence e. Mullen, mOtorman, shot
in upper portion of left arm; Minnie
Kruger, IL years of age struck in left
thigh by glancing bullet not serious;
two rioters seen to fall during fight at
Thirteenth and Herbert streets be-
tween mob of $50 men and the police.
They were carried away.
Zika was shot late in the afternoon
while standing in the door of his home
at Zoo Geyer avenue. A mob of sew
eral hundred men had surrounded a
car Of the Tower Grove line and was
threatening the conductor and motor
man. A few stones had been thrown
when shot was fired from the car,
the bullet striking Zika full in the
breast. Conductor Farley and Motor
man Drake were arrested by the police
pending an investiga lion.
There were mobs and riot and resist
ance to officers all over town where
the company was running its cars. No
day since the strike began has been
more turbulent than yesterday, but
the Transit company put on an in
creased service. Nothing definite has
been done about the proposed sympa-
thotic strike
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1900-05-25
STATUE OF GEN. GRANT.
Gift of the Grand Army Unveiled in Ro
tunda of Capitol.

tunda of Capitol.
Washington, May 21.--The statue of
General Grant, presented by the Grand
Army Of the Republic to the nation,
was unveiled in the great rotunda of
the capitol. The statue Of the pre-
eminent chief of the Union forces in
the civil war represents the contribu-
tons Of thousands of his comrades of
the q. A. r., none of whom was al
lowed to subscribe more than Is cents,
and is the result of a movement start
ed shortly after General Grants death
at Mt. GregOr, in July, 1885. 1t is the
work OF Franklin Simmons, an Ameri-
can sculptor. OF marble of heroic
size, it stands on a granite pedestal
emblaZOned with a bronze seal Of the
q. A. K. and represents the grim, old
hero in the full uniform Of a general
equipped for the field with top boots
and gauntlets, his cloak over his left
arm, his right hand resting on the hilt
Of his sword,
The unwilling took place shortly be-
fore noon in the presence of Mrs.
Grant, Mrs. Sartoris, Miss Sartoris,
the officers of the G. A. r., Speaker
Henderson and Senator Frye, presi-
dent pro tenn of the senate. The fact
of the unwilling was kept secret and
only a few outsiders witnessed it.
There were no ceremonies. Miss Sar-
toris, attired in white, drew the Ian
yard that uncovered the statue. Mrs.
Grant inspected it critically and smiled
her approval. The party then repaired
to the hall of the house, where the
ceremonies occurred
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1900-05-25

Feeding tests carefully conducted at
our experiment stations have demon
strated that proper proportion Of
cornmeal fed with skfmmilk has given
so much better results when fed to pigs
than either fed separately that it is
good policy to go to the expense of
grinding the corn and mixing with the
milk instead of throwing out the corn
in the ear and giving them the milk to
drink. In one of the Wisconsin farm
ers' institutes when Professor Henry
reported the result Of his experiments
on this subject one old farmer after a
little mental calculation exclaimed,
"Well, always knew bushel of corn
to barrel Of milk made good hog feed,
but l did not know it was the best"
We have all of us known that skim
young pigs, says a correspondent Of
The Prairie Farmer, but few of US
have fed it to the best possible advan-
tage. Calves can be raised on skim
milk and f1aXseed or f1aXmeal so that
they will be as large at year old as
those raised on whole milk. Where
the seed can be obtained at reasona-
BILE price it is far better for this pur-
pose than the meal, as it contains more
Of the elements that have been taken
out of the milk by skimming. One
quart of seed put in one gallon Of wa
ter and boiled for an hour, then slight
ly thickened with either wheat -four or
buckwheat flour, can be used to warm
up the milk for six or eight calves, and
if these calves are early taught to eat
a few oats they can be kept growing
right along. When the calf that has
run with the cow is weaned, it has to
learn to eat and will lose most of it's
butter fat, while the other Is IN better
condition to face winter and will fire.
quently come out the better animal in
the spring.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1900-05-25

Paris has always been France. All
the great movements of the country
have been centered here, whether Do
litical, religious, social, literary or ar
tistic. So that any attempt to trace the
history of the city launches one imme-
diately into the study of the nation,
while an effort to master the history of
the French people sends one to Paris.
One realizes this particularly when he
comes to study the lives of her great
men and women. They may have been
born in the south or east or north or
west, but to rise to the first rank they
were obliged to seek the capital 1t
was there they sought instruction,
formed relations, began their careers,
played their parts.-Scribner's
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1900-05-25

"Bruddren and sistahs," sternly said
good old Parson Woolimon after the
collection had been taken up upon a
recent Sabbath morning, before the
hat was done parsed I expounded the
request dat de congregation contribute
accawdin to DER means, and l sho eX-
perforated dat yo' all would chip in
magnanimOusly. But now, upon ex-
aminin de collection, l finds that de
concocted amount contributed by de
whole posse oh yo' am only the signifi-
cant and pusillanimous sum of sixty
free cents. And at dis junction dar
amt no 'casion for yo' all to look at
Brudder Slewfoot what done circum-
ambulated de hat around, in no such
suspicious manner, for, in de fust
place, Brudder Slewfoot amt dat kind
Of a man, and, in the second place, l
done watched him like a hawk all de
time muhself. No, siXty-free cents was
all dat was flung in, and | dess wants
to say dat, in my humble opinion, in
stead oh cOntributin accaWdin to yo'
means, yo' all contributed accawdin to
yo' meanness. De choir will now ia
vor us wild DER regular righteousness"
--Harper's Bazaar.