Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1900-04-27

les.
"Dc you ever pay any attention to
thc weather mans predictions! y Ives.
by reading what he predicts l can
nearly always tell what it isn't going
to do"
Mrs. Gadd-You do not show your
age ut all. Mrs. Gabb (delighted)-
Don't 1! Mrs. Gadd-No; l see you've
scratched it out of your family Bible
New York Weekly.
n Capitalist.-'Do you see that dogy'
"Hes; but what is there so wonderful
about hing Hes worth fifty thou
sand dollars.." Good gracious. How
did he save the money!'-Lifc.
Mrs. Thinkhard-Of late years the
spread of intelligence among all classes
has been simply wonderful. Old bach
elor-ies. notice there has been a
great falling off in the number of mar
riages.
At Rchearsal.-Stage Manager
What! You laugh while you're sup
posed to he dying? Actor-Certainly.
AT the wages you pay. why shouldn't
death he greeted with joy?-Eliegende
Rlaetter.
What is am exit. papa:' "Exit.
Freddy! Well. 1t is IL Latin placard
hung around on the walls in theatels
and opera houses to keep people from
thinking they smell ire.'-lndianapo-
lis Journal.
she-TEey've got "A new girl at Hi
rams. lIe-IS that so? Can she cook
amy better than the last one they had?
Ahe-Wt" hardly: this one is only
about tw, r-four hours old.-Phiiadel-
phia Hecofu.
Would Affect His Tradc.-Mack
O'Rell-Yes. he is always afraid the
sun may suddenly drop from its posi-
ton. Luke Warmc-Is he IL scientist!
Mack G'Reil-No: n parasol manufac-
.urer.-Chicago News.
Burly Trump-Wot's TIL good of II lit
lie dog like that? Mrs. Rural-To keep
off trainps. HE. he! Wot kin that
little critter dog lie can bnrlS: that
will wake up the his dogs under the
porch" Yes, mum. Good day,
| llluIll. NEW lOtN w eOEIV
Papa" said Benny B%loobumper, "I
saw two had boys dipping cents. and
after Il While they Went away. ano
when they had gone l found II penny"
Did you play yourself. Bennyy' asked
Mr.. Eloobumper. mo. papa '.Tler
YOU were an in-a-cent by%-stanue..,-
Far.
Pat. l thought 1 hired you to carry
bricks up that ladder by the day"
"Ye did. sor." We'll. I've been watch
ing you. and you've only done it half Il
day today. The other half you spent
coming down the ladder" "Oi'll thry
to be. dom bettl,er to-mOrry, sOr."-
Harlem Life.
II hope my explanation is satisfac-
tory" said Mr.. Y~ounghusband. as lie
concluded n long narrative as to why
he had been detained down town until
1 a. III. We'll" yawned Mrs. Young
husband. your xcu is fairly good,
but it's not as good as fatler used to
inake."-Chicago News.
"Henry," said she. disconsolately,
you didn't give me IL birthday gift"
by JOve! that's so" said Henry, but
You see. you always look so young that
1 can't realize you ever had birthdays"
Then she was happy, and he smiled the
mean. subtle smile of II man who has
saved money.-Boston Traveller.
"Algernon is very interesting" said
the stockholders daughter. what
does he talk abouty' inquired her
father. why, he's ever so well post
ed in Shakspearean quotations."
young woman" said the financier,
sternly. don't you let him deceive you;
there amt no such stock on the mar.
ket."-Tit-Bits.
At u country fete n conjurer was
performing the old trick of producing
eggs from II hat, when lie remarked to
a little boy: Your mother can't get
eggs without hens, can she:" "Of
course she cam" replied the lad.
why, how is that:" asked the con-
jurer. "Slle keeps ducks" replied the
hoy, amid roars of lnughter.-Tit-Bits.
Look here" said Mr.. Dobbs to the
house agent, my wife will be calling
to-day, and l want you to tell her that
that house we have been looking at is
TAKEN" But. my good sir" protested
the agent, cit isn't taken.' 1T will be
them" answered Mr.. Dobbs. II am
taking 1t now. Mrs. Dobbs can't make
up her mind. but she'll want it directly
she thinks she can't get It,"
The volunteer in the Philippines
wrote home to the old man as follows:
Father, l need $50 Immediately. Lost
another leg in battle yesterday" And
this was the reply he received from the
old man: "James-As this is the fourth
leg you've lost-according to your let
ters-you ought to be accustomed to II
by this time. Try and wobble along on
any other legs you may have left.
That's all 1 can say to you!"-Atlanta
Constitution.
The angel Gabriel was in the &C. Of
r0iSing the trumnat tn his Inns for tha