Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1900-04-14
HUMOROUS ITEMS.

to our Sunday school. john John Ma
Iee-"Me tiaidee Clistian hoodlnms
smashee head. New York Weekly.
Hello, Nike, do you find much TO d.
''Yis. I'm jest after cuttin' down
trap and tomorrow III have to cut II
Up.
\ Condition. Net a Theory Politicil~
The question is, What shall We Do
with our new possessions: YOunghub
III tell you what, J. de with mine; j
walk the floor nights with it, Harper
Bazaar.
The Brokers Wife-"What kept Zen
downtown so late today
The Broker-"New typewriter"
'.Slow. is she:''
Well l should say not" -Yonke.s
Statesman.
What is an exit. pa
Exit. Freddy: We'll. it is Latin
placard hung around on the walls in M
alters and opera houses to keep peonle
from thinking they smell fire. Indian
apolis Journal.
The house is afre." cried the tenor.
THE audience must be dismissed as
quickly as possible. All right r.
Piled the manager. Say n0:hing ahoa-
lhr fire. Go out and s.ng '-philadelph'a
North American.
her two or three of your tiatirOnS?' S.
won't iron anything rough with the
will she, little boy?' Nom. She jul
wants TO heat 'em and iron the ice oil
the front steps.
We don't hear you sing nowadays.
Miss Medicine
My physician has strictly forbiddou
me 10 practice
Does he live in your neighbOrhood
New York World.
Lady with high hatl-'I beg your par
don, but | forgot my opera glass. Would
you kindly lend me yours just a mo
mentE' Tyrant man tin the seat behind
Very sorry, madam. but l need il To
sit on. New York Weekly.
II could regulate that weather man If
| had half Il chance"
How would you 90 about it?"
why, if he had TO keep the sidewalks
cleaned off he wouldn't be - lavish at
handing out snowstorms. "-tlt Stat
journal.
The Pullet-"What are you sitting On
! the water trough growing that way for,
over nothing?"
The Shanghai-"There's a strange CO.
chin looking through the fence, and I'm
making a naval demonstration. New
York Press.
Madam. am soliciting for home
charities. We have hundreds of poor.
ragged, vicious children like those at your
gate and -
Sir, those children are mine" and The
slamming of the door could be heard IN
the next street. Weekly Telegraph.
Il s'pose it's all right" said Mr.. Cum
rox. But it doesn't seem fair" What
doesn't seem fair?'' For Matilda to
: old because | want to eat dinner in
my shirtsieeveS. / don't make any fuss
about her party dresses, an they haven;
any sleeves at all."-W Washington Star,
The doomed man shuddered. "Therc
will be no music when | march to the
Scaffold%' he asked anXiouSly.
They treasured him.
There was a march played when !
was married. he muttered. II could
not bear to be reminded of that."-Ncw
York Press.
The Wires Were Crossed-Hotel man
(who thinks he is calling down his butch
erl-"Say. l am shy a heart and liver.
eight ribs and shoulder. Now, | want
| 'em right away" Railway office (which
has been connected by mistakel-, Sorry.
sir. but the wreck has heen-eieaHeslsl ,n., :
Baltimore Americans.
Two men were walking down Wiscon-
sin street the other day, when one Of
them. looking up at the place in the
tower of the Pabst building. from which
the clock was recently removed, said t.
the other:
Il wonder what Bunde u Upmeyer in
tend to use that room in the tower for:
Why" replied the one addressed,
they are going To do all their high art
engraving up there.
.Iack-"How did You come out on that
/ bulldog pup you bought
Dick-''lost over 100 per cent. on the
transaction.
Jack-"Oh. | guess not. \ hundred
per cent is all You can possibly lose"
Dick-"Thnk so. do you: Well. |
paid SO for the pup and then had L.
give boy 81 to.take him out and droRu
him. If that isn't 40 per cent loss III
~. ~. ~. ...- :. :. ~.