The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1900-09-26
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
May-"What became of that old
flame of yours" Pamela-"Papa put
him out. brooklyn Life.

flame of yoursf" Pamela-"Papa put
him out. ."-Brooklyn Life.
One little simple song we sing,
10 brides hut newly wed:
Just make the best OF everything
Especially OF bread.
Detroit Free Press.
"You can get any man to listen TO
you," said the Cornfcd Philosopher.
''if YOU talk to him about his own dog
or some other mans wife."-lndianap'
oils Press.
what did you say TO the lawyer
about breaking your fathers will IN
your intercstl" 81 told him | hoped
he would allow me reasonable per
cent. on what he got out Of it"-Chi-
cago Record.
Alas" said the Chinese statesman.
"it is China against the world!'
"That," said his friend, lis our only
hope. Singly, any Of the Powers
could whip us; but it isn't quite so Ger.
tain that they can do it together
Puck.
IL broke off with that girl becor-o
got afraid to marry her" "D.d
she show signs oC a bad tcmper?'
NO: but after we had exchanged
about q dozen letters she began to use
cheaper letter paper."-Indlanapoiis
| Journal
"The Chinese language is very pc.
culiar." Yes answered the worried
| looking man with the newspaper.
'When you hear word pronounced
you can't spell 1t, and when you see
n word spelled you can't pronounce it,
Washington Star.
We cannot take our wealth beyond the
This is lesson wise men all should
learn.
'Ts only fools and spendthrifts who be-
have
As though their money was but made
! to burn.
"Women beat the world" "What's
the matter now?' "When my wife
wants anything pretty to wear she
hints around until persuade her to
buy It; then after she has Worn 1t out
she pitches into me for encouraging
her to be so eXtravagant.
Record.
The eminent statesman was talking
his speech into phonograph. THAT'S
new idea" said one of the bystand-
ers. "Why does he stop every few
minutes and seem TO wait for some
thing?" Hes listening for the ap-
plause," said the other bystander.-
Chicago Tribune.
Mr. Tyte-Phist du the course of n
casual conversntiOnl-"W am glad
there's no smallpox in town, anyhow.
Still | am always afraid of it. By
tile way, doctor, what's the first thing
to do in a case of smallpox" Doctor
"Well, you first catch your smallpox,
you knOw."-Chicago Tribune.
Charming Maiden-"Then they went
to Woozey's, did they? All, that's a
delightful place. When friend asks
me to 90 to Woozey's I know he must
think IN awful lot of me, for they
serve the most elaborate and eXpen-
sive luncheons in the city" Helpless
YOuth-"Let's go to Woozey's, Miss
Quickstep. Tribune.
"The kind of man that wins" said
the necessary dlscOurser, sis the man
who goes after what he wants"
Not he" said the other half of the
humorlsts' dialogist team. "The win
ncr is the man that can sit still and
confidence people into bringing what
he wants to him indianapolis
Press.
Father (meaningly)-"Who is the
LATEST boy in your class, TommyT
Tommy-"I don't know, pa" Father
81 should think you should know.
When all the others are industrlously
studying or writing their lessons, who
is It sits idly in his seat and watches
the rest instead of working himself?'
Tommy-~The Observation-Disclosures
Evening Times.