The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-04-11

returning from continental tour, on
which he had long set his heart, he was
narrating one evening TO his friend. the
doctor, how he had visited 1.-THE majestic
Lake of Geneva and trodden the banks
of Blue Leman," relates the New York
Tribune.
Excuse me-" interrupted the doctor.
Lake Geneva and Lake Leman are
synonymous"
"That, my dear SIR" replied the farm
err, Il know very well; but are you aware
that Lake Leman is the more synony-
nous of the two?'
Mrs. Greene-"But how came you to
marry him? Did you think he really
cared for your
Mrs Blew-"Oh, l ana certain of that.
If he had not loved me. he never would
have told me SO many lies to get me-"
Mrs. Greene-"And you find him great
ly changed since you were married."
Mrs. Blew-"Yes and no. lie lies as
much as ever but / suspect it is for love
Of some other woman. boston Tram
script.
Speaking Of schools, an English bishop,
making a tour Of this country, visited
one Of the local schools the other day,
says the New York Tribune. After con
graduating the teacher on the fine ap-
pearance of her little scholars the dis
tinguished clerical stood up to say
word to the children. The subject OF
lis discourse hung before him in an en-
craving Of the Father Of His Country,
mounted upon fine white charger, that
adorned the wall. Pointing to this por-
trait the bishop said:
WHO can tell me the name of this
fine looking SentlemanT
No one responded for at least min
ute; but, encouraged by the visitor, lit
tie fellow in the back part Of the room
finally held up his hand.
"Who is it, my son"' asked the bishop,
kindly.
Buffalo Bill. SIR" lisped the little
American, which so excited the visibility
of the visiting dignitary that he precipI-
lately left the school without finishing
his remarks.
President John Quincy Adams once
asserted that he would not give 80 cents
for all the works of PhidiaS and PraXi-
teles, adding: Il hope America will not
think OF sculpture for two centuries to
come" When some one quoted this TO
William Morris Hunt, he asked. dryly:
Does that sum Of money really repre-
sent Mr.. Adams estimate of the sculp
ture of those artists, or the value which
Banks (jauntily)-'Hello, Bostwick.
Setting out your wife's flower beds?'
Bostwick (evilly)-"No. I'm digging
up twenty-dollar gold pieces for the chill
dren to play with. What g fool imagin-
alton you've got, anyway. New York
Press.
''See here" yelled the theatrical man
all -: IL l,,,,
don't your
Il do replied the modest author.
And you claim to be realist?''
well. I've introduced the old Oaken
bucket and the barnyard fowls, and all
that
The manager tore his hair.
But where is the mortgage?' he
shr.eked: who ever heard of a farm
house without a mortgage that the way
ward son comes home and lifts off in the
last ct?'-Phladelphi Inquirer.
In his book en- the Soudan campaign
Winston Churchill, the Dispatch's CORE
spondent in South Africa, tells this story
about Gen. Lord Kitchener. He ordered
field telegraph to accompany the flying
column to Abu Hamed.
But" said the officer in charge, 1--WE
have no spools to unreel the wire from,
no saddles to carry it: no"
Without a word Kitchener walked to
where the coils of wire lay. Some don
keys stood near by. Selecting the small
est. he took the little animals hind legs
in his left hand and put them into the
coil. He lifted the wire up until it passed
around the donkey's back, hanging be-
tween the fore and hind legs. He caught
the loose end of the wire, and smacked
the donkey with the other hand. The
beast moved forward, tripping and STUN
IL 4. xl
wind. Then, still without word, but
with a wave of the hand that said:
There's your field equipment" Kitch
cner then walked away.
Mrs Belgrave Ton the Bermuda boat)-
Are you one of the stewards?'
Bill Rolling marin. I'm cap'n of
tn top
Mrs Belgrave-" nice. Bring it
and spin it for little Chaunccy. won't
YOU? He's almost bored to death =
Harlem Life.
A curious Scotch rhyme concerning the
calculation Of Easter runs as follows:
First comes Candemass,
And then the new mune,
The next Tuesday after that
Is aye Fasting cen.
That moon out,
And the next at it's height
Then next Sunday after that
Is aye Pasche right.
It is said that this rhyme has never
been known to be inaccurate before, but
if it is worked out for this year it will
be found that it places Easter day or
April %.
More Apt than Kinda distinguished
diplomat from the United States of
America, q very genial and sociablc be-
ing,-~soon after his arrival in London
made the round of the sights-Mme Tus-
saud's among the number And what
do you think of our waxwork exhibi-
tion?' asked a friend. Well" replied
the general, ''t struck me as being very
like an ordinary English evening party"