The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-03-02
Words of True Sympathy.

Il never know just what to saw to
people who are i'll sorrow, so l never saw
anything if I can help it," sayssa writer
in the New York Telegram. and the
more feel, the less | cam say. 1 can
write note of coincidence quite easily.
for the stilted phrases slip easily from tho
pen, even when l know that they are
useless, for they never comfort the least
little bit. But when I am face to face
with bereavement l am dumb, although
my heart may ache. Still, it makes little
difference; words don't help people in
grief And if they did. all could say
would be. 1 am sorry"
say
That simple phrase carries with it more
true sympathy than dozens of stilted ex
presslons. When we were in sorrow. and
felt as If we were numbered by the aw.
full loneliness of our grief, that seemed
ours and ours only, what did it mean to
rs when our friend came, and, putting
her arms about us, sobbed, ''Oh, my dear,
| am so sorry-so sorry That genuine
unprecedented outburst brought SYM
pathy that softened grief, although moth
ing could lessen it. 1t is mistake to-
think that so-called letters of coincidence
do no good.
Of course, they cannot relieve sorrow.
but to the grief-stricken there is great
comfort i'll knowing that somebody cares;
that the thoughts and prayers Of friends
are with her who walks in the valley of
the shadow of death. And to one in sor-
row the world in general seems such a
heartless, careless place.
Let us not feel that because dozens
OF other people may have written letters
or spoken phrases Of pity to the bereaved
friend, our little note or word is unnec-
essary. 1t may be just the touch of SYM
pathy that will soften the rebellious grief
and bring much-needed tears; it may be
Just the drop of sweet in the cup of bit
terness that, but for that tiny drop,
would be intolerable.
Best Way to Deal with Your Maids.
Even the woman's clubs are turning
their attention to the servant question.
and it seems to come naturally under the
department of domestic science. What
solution will be made of this vexed uues-
ton, which grows constantly more per-
picking, none can foretell.
All conditions are changed, and it is
not strange that this follows the lead.
While, probably, women are no less de-
voted to their homes than they were in
the old times, their relation to them has
altered somewhat. The Introduction of
modern methods and Of labor-saying de-
wees has, in measure, emancipated tn,
no1sekeeper from many duties which she
and her maids performed together.
There is no more spinning and VIEWING
IN the home. The. factory does it SO
much more quickly and so much mora
cheaply, too, that the average woman
cannot afford to indulge in homespun.
The ready-made clothing establishments
render the visits of the tailoress and
seamstress no longer necessary, and the
mistress and maid no longer sit down to
needleWOrk together.
In considering the question of domestic
service and commenting on the changed
conditions there is tendency to Law The
fault Of it all upon the domestic la6orer:
Importance enough is not given to the
altered conditions of service, the changed
attitude of the average woman to her
own household labors, brought about by
the very state of things indicated above.
There is no longer the community Of in
terest that there was under the old
regime, and that in itself changes the at.
titude of the mistress and the maid.
largely into the relationship, it is now q
most unimportant factor, and the engage
ment for service is, or should be. made
on the strictest business basis =
Today the housekeeper who is the most
successful with her maids, gets the best
work Of which they are capable, and
keeps them the longest is the one who
manages on the strictest Of business prin-
ciples, without trying to establish sympa-
thetic relations with her help. When
they are hired their line Of duty is fully
explained to them, and this line is inflex-
lble. The mistress no more expects the
girl to do work outside her own depart
ment than her husband would expect one
Of his employees to do the work Of an
other in a different line. If the work is
not done to suit, the mistress firmly, but
kindly criticises it, and suggests other
the domestic&is sent away at the expira.
ton of her period Of trial, but there are
no words, no repr0aches, no nagging.
Usually the girls, liking her attitude.
for it is one which not only commands
their respect for her, but ministers to
their own self-respect, try their best to
kind, Knowing that the result will Be