The Washington weekly post., 1900-03-13


lLS TO sleep within five minutes. AS soon
as ha strikes the bed the family cat, rats
ard nice walk about on tiptoe, and the
grocery wagons. butcher carts and fire
engines never pass his house If it can be
avoided. The small boy who would dare
Utter one ''coo-ee"' in front Of his house
after 10 O'Clock at night would realize that
he was taking his life in his hands. He
got into his berth in the sleeper expecting
the usual results to follow. but somewhat
10 his surprise they didn't As is usually
the case, two or three men were not ready
70 turn =, and they began discussing poll
tics. Every word was audible from end
to end Of the car. For about ten minutes
Mr.. Bowser wondered over their impu-
dence. For five more he was amazed at
their disregard of the rights OF others.
Then he jumped to the conclusion that It
was personal matter, and he called the
porter and said:
This is a sleeping car. l have gone to
bed to sleep. Those men must either
shut lp or get out"
Yes sah," replied the porter. and he
went off about his business, instead Of
conveying the message. He had been on
a sleeping car long enough TO know that
the twenty-fourth didn't feel sleepy. The
discussion continued for ten minutes.
Then Mr. Bowser poked his head out be-
tween the curtains and exclaimed:
Are you fellows going to keep that
chatter up all night! How does it happen
that you didn't take the hog train?'
There was as exchange of cOurtesies.
The language was vigorous. Mr.. BOwser
was derided and dehed but his dander
was up and he called the porter and con-
duCtOr and insisted so strenuously on his
rights that the political discussion came 10
an end. As a windup, however. MIR. Bow
ser was called a crank, kicker, and a
cheesehead. and was advised to go off and
die in a lonely spot by himself. There
had been seven or eight minutes of COM
parative quiet, ard his eyes were closing
in sleep, when a man in the opposite
berth began TO snore. Ten seconds later
the snore was repeated and ornamented
with a gurgle.
by the norm spoon, but that's got to
stopr' exclaimed Mr.. Bowser as he sat
up and poked his head out. "Here-you
over there-stop that Internal bazoo of
yours, Porter come here and rouse up
that critter across the way"
two more SHORES and three long drawn
groans before the dig in the ribs broke
in on his slumbers. Then he indignantly
demanded to know who had dared to dis
turb him.
You were snoring" explained Mr.. Bow
ser.
We'll, what of it? Is it any business
of yours?'
You bet it is. If you want to make a
| hog OF yourself get off and take stock
train"
The jaw lasted ten minutes, and as two
thirds of the passengers siGed with Mr.
BOWser, and as the snores diminished 10
signs ana gasps, he felt that the victory
was his. This time quietness brought
sleep, but sleep only lasted forty winks.
| The wall Of a child brought Mr.. Bowser' 5
| eyes open; a second wall sat him up, and
third caused him 10 eXclaim:
| Have | got 10 murder some one in this
car before l can get an hours sleep.
/ Where's the mother of that young 'un
/ thar she don't stop his noiser
MY little boy seems to be ILL.," replied a
| female voice
Seems TO be i'll! Don't you know wheth-
er he is or not? If he's sick get up and
attend 10 him. If he's only dreaming give
him cuff and wake him up. By Jackson,
but why the law allows a woman to cad
| about the country with a child can't un-
| derstand."
And / thought he was such a nice
| good-natured old man. murmured the
| woman as she petted and hushed the child
| 10 sleep again.
| This time there was no sleep for Mr.
| Bowser. He had got so mad that his eyes
/ wouldn't close, and he tumbled around ana
| wished he was home so that he could say
| something 20 make Mrs. Bowser feel bad.
| He was ready for another fracas when the
! train drew up at a station. He heard LeO-
| pie talking, baggage trucks rumbling, aud
man passing along and striking the
wheels with a hammer. Up on end he
| came and called 10 the porter. and when
| the man had arrived he was actOsted with:
What in the name of the ten tribes has
] happened now? What are all those peo-
1 ploe gaDbIng abOut2'
| It's the people al the depot, sah," was
| the reply.
! Yes, but are the people at the depot Fl.
! lowed 10 WhOOp and chatter and scream
! and wake up every sleeper in the cars?
! Beautliuly managed road, thisi What's
| that rumbllnG and banging and crashing?
I l-p1AA4- AR - b1SSGSF
| 'Oh, IL iSl In order 10 load up few Old
| trunks they must buJsle and bang and
| bump and stand everybody's hair up, I'd
! like 10 talk 10 the manager of this road
/ about five minutes And what's that dun
/ derhead pounding on the wheels for?"
! ''Testin' EN-, sab"
/ We'll, Ia like 10 test him! By smoke
/ but the people Of the United States are
/ the biggest fools on earth TO put 10 with
| such impositionsi I'll sue somebody 10.
/ morrow for &0000 dana ges"
! There was Vet another cause 20 kick
/ The train hadn't left the station ten miles
! behind when there was a bump on The
/ floor OF the car. followed by yell One OF
| the children had fallen out Of bed
| In the name OF mercy what's that
| almost hoWled Mr.. Bowser, as the cur
| tains parted again.
! Look here, old man" answered a mas.
! Culine voice. you seem worried. Why
! don't YOU shut up ani go 20 sleep?'
! Because I've got 10 murder seven OF
I eight people before III be allowed 10 gC
To sleep. And don't you tell me TO shut
up"
The man put his head out and gazed al
/ Mr.. BoWseT Then ne advised him 10 eat
/ a bran mash. soak his head and hang OF
. 10 his chin. Mr.. Bowser reDlied n kind
/ and added a threat 10 lex MS fellow pas
| sengeT II he had 10 pursue him around In,
globe 20 find the occasion The Whole cal
| was in a row before ,he conductor coult
be brought in As a peacemaker. and Mr.
/ BaWser was one OF the half dog "A who
/ dressed and sat I'D for the next three
/ hours and gIared around him and nut
tered under his breath. At O'Clock In tn,
! afternoon he entered his own house ant
/ flung his satchel on the floor
] How did YOU get home 80 soon% askct
Mrs. E8wser in alarm, And Is mother
I better or worse
4 didn't get TO Concord" he replied
| You didn't? Then she Is dead, You go
| d telegram
| I got nothing. The Internal old rail
| road undertook 10 bulldoze me aroun'
and deprive me OF my rights and
| wouldn't stand H. ] got of AT junction
and took the first train back, and III b,
I hanged II / don't see 4 lawyer to-morros
and start about four hundred dana 9
| suits"