The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-03-02
FACTS AND FANCIES,

Different Ways:-::.They : sat and held ID
"Oh, don't know. You have to in
| whist. "-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Mr.. Tenderfoot- This bear meat
seems very highly spiced.' Cactus Char
cinnamon bear steak baltimore Amer
lean.
Foozle-''We dom, call them 'bunkers
then?' Foozle-"They'r so hard to get
over we call 'em kopjes. Baltimore
American.
"How in the world did Van Scribbler
get his poem published"
Didn't you hear? He wrote con-
ing that it be printed" -Judge.
II don't care for your poem, The Song
Of the Lark, - remarked the editor The
poet sighed YEARLY. '"To tell the TRUTH"
he replied, Il myself much prefer the lay
of the hen Philadelphia Record.
Escape Flats.-Quericus-" see;
the married men all have better halves,
don't they?' Cynicus-''Yes." Quericus
Then what do the bachelors have?'
Cynicus-''Better quarters!'-Puck.
A boorish young fellow from Fla.
Made a dash through a crowded inns ca. !;
Said lady from Me-,
As he trod on her tre.,
Il never met 4 man Who was ha.'
Philadelphia Press.
Hicks-"Was that your sister 1 saw
you with the other day?'
Wicks-"Not at that time. It was
only last evening that she promised to
bear that relation to me.''-Boston Tran
| script.
"Well, Saunders, what sort of weather
have you been having while I've been
away" Its been just shockin', missy.
Fust it friz, an then it thew; an then
it snew; an then it thew agin an friz on
it."-Punch.
when you married you thought your
n" @Tes.'' 'S"'s0o'
"And now!
''Now he reminds me more of demi-
| john."-New York Press.
There was fire on the stage of a
| New York theater the other night and
one of the chorus girls had her trunks
slightly scorched." '.Couldn't they be re-
moved in time?' mo, she had 'em on
l-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Who is the most remarkable man
mentioned in modern history?" asked the
| just made some speeches. "You can't in
about myself. "-Washington Star.
Mrs. Lakeside-'I saw something to-
day that called up vague recollection
of my first marriage" Mr. Lakeside
did you? What was it?'' Mrs. Lake
side-''My first husband; hadn't seen
him for years. -Philadelphi Press.
sPIONKOP.
Of the Kopje
Do they stOpje.
| Hark! popje!
| And kerfopje!
| Down they dropje. K.
| At the Theater.-Grimes-"Y ex.
cuse me, won't you? I've got to 60 out to
see man."
Mrs. Grimes (slipping bottle into his
hande"I thought I'd save you some trou.
BILE; so I brought that man in with me. -
l-BOstOn Transcript.
Teacher-"Who was the most patient
man?''
Tommy Figg-"solomon."
mot Solomon; job"
"Oh, 1 thought it was Solomon. He
was the man that had all them wives
/ wasn't he?''-Indianapolis Press.
Mr.. Hamm (the eminent tragedian)-
gov on the list of January Friend
Sand did you have long run?' "Well
no, we didn't have long run, but after
the second performance we had a long
walk-all the way from Glasgow to Lon
Edon. '-Tit-B Bits.
Poultney .Bigelow's admiration for the
Kaiser is well known. One person, how.
ever, who recently tried to joke with him
I about it did not get off unhurt. g You
remind ME" began Mr.. Bigelow
''Not OF the German Emperor cried the
person addressed. NO" was the reply
| 1.-THE Kaiser is gentleman" ,.r~
Harold is Bessler, the famous
inventor of the triple-expansion engine
| the autOmatic-doub1e-ba back ction-reversi
ble-rapid -fre-gun, the compound electro
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. the Rupert
But he looks distracted "Yes, he
can't invent a plausible excuse to give
hiswife, and he dasn't 60 home!' Puck
Miss Breezy see she's married
her seventh, and !! don't Z, think she care,
was at the engrayer's today when she
i left her order for her new visiting cards
She only ordered fifty p Philadelphia
j Press. 81 . 81. s s s.*s
hat is what I call a master stroke Z
he exclaimed. S.:zs s =55
oh, do read about it = said his wife,.
Its rather long. Look ut it for your
sell; It's one OF the cleverest strokes
i diplomacy
oh! diplomacy! thought it was
i semething about golf. s" Washingtor
Star.
Arthur Pinero, the dramatic author
according to an interview in the Paris
i DebAts, holds among his most yiluahl,