The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-08-29

The imitation people-how they haunt us
everywhere-
The imitation singer, with n note that
brings despair;
The imitation wag who scorns all wit cx-
cept his own;
The imitation monarch on his imitation
throne
The imitation statesman, with his strut and
vocal roar
The world is moved to sadness by all these
and many more.
But when one longs for comforts garb in
days so fercely hot,
The imitation shirtwaist mans the tough
est of the lot. Washington Star.
-:O-:
Every student Of nouns. pronOuns and
verbs knows the necessity of transpos-
ing language for the sake of ascertaining
its grammatical construction. The fol-
lowing shows twenty-six different read
ings of enc of Gray's well-known lines,
yet the sense is not affected:
The weary plowman plods his home
ward way.
The plowman, weary, plods his home
ward way.
His homeward way the weary plow-
His homeward way the plowman,
weary, plods.
The weary plowman homeward plods
his way.
The plowman, weary, hcmeward plods
his way.
His way the plowman, weary, home
ward plOdS.
The plowman, homeward, plods his
His way the .plowman, homeward,
weary, plods.
His homeward, weary way the plow-
man plOds.
Weary, the plowman homeward plods
his way.
Weary, the plowman plods his home
Homeward. his way the weary plow-
man plods.
Homeward, his way, the plowman
weary plods.
Homeward, his weary way, the pillow
man plOdS.
The plowman, homeward, weary plods
his way.
His weary way, the plowman home
ward plods.
His weary way, the homeward plow-
man plods.
Homeward the plowman plods his
weary way.
Homeward the weary plowman plods
his way.
The plowman, weary, his way home
ward plods.
The plowman plods his homeward
weary way.
The plowman plods his weary home
ward way.
Weary the plowman his way home
Weary his homeward way the plow-
man plOdS.
Remember DEAR" said the venerable
father, as he sent his youngest and most
petted daughter to Girton, that all my
hopes are now centered on you. Remem-
Der in all your struggles for intellectual
supremacy, your triumphs, that a good
name is rather to be chosen than great
riches
II will, father" replied the weeping
girl. and the train bore her away.
Three years later the girl married a
man who bore the name of Gander-
shanks.-LOndOn Answers.
did Mr.. Sloman really propose to you
last night?' asked the first summer girl
Yes replied the other. He told me
l was the only girl he had ever loved
The idea. What did you say to him.
Told him to GO get a reputation, of
course. '-Philadelphia Press.
He came in breathlessly; hurrying like
one who bore important news.
"A butcher in the marked dropped six
ty feet!'' he exclaimed. 40
rs he dead: How did it happen? Tell
us about it,
No, he isn't hurt a bit"
That's remarkable
They were pigs feet.
Chronicle-Telegraph.
IT GENERALLY DOES COME TO PASS.
We ask dear friend, when we find him
alone,
For his private opinion, mayhap,
And if it should chance to agree with our
He's a mighty intelligent chap
But if his advice isn't what we expect,
Or, say, if it should e'er come to pass
Our own cherished notions he'll calmly re-
We declare him an adjective ass.
Pick Me-Up.
Mamma-"Now go and say goodnight
to your goyerness, like a good little girl,
and give her a kiss
won't give her kiss
Mamma-'"That's naughty! Why
won't you give her a kiss?"
Little Puss-'Because she slaps peo-
pies faces when they try to kiss her.
Mamma-"Now, don't talk nonsense,
but do as you're told"
Little Puss-"Well mummy. if you
don't believe me-ask papa"'-Punch
1T seems funny to hear you admit
you ever had stage fright said the first
nighter. 1t was at the beginning of
your career, of course"
NO" replied the great actor. ''it was
during my last Western tour. The man
appeared at the stage door so suddenly.
and flashed his revolver so eXpertly that
the shock nearly killed us passengers. p
Catholic Standard and Times.
--:O:-
There was little doing in society yes
terday.
Mrs. Van der Blk Smith ordered veal
outlets for dinner. She was exQuisitely
gowned in gray.
The j. Cantilever Bridges sat on their
front porch Mrs. Bridge wore checked
Bingham trimmed with very old lace.
Miss Bridge and Miss Gladys Bridge
were in pink and blue, respectively.
Mrs. III. Chatterbox Chatterbox-J ones
had her luncheon carried to her room
She wore red, with a corsage bouquet
of natural t1owers.-Detroit Journal.