New-York tribune., 1900-05-28
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

A streetcar conductor of Chicago the other day
stopped funeral procession in order administer
thrashing to the driver of the hearse. The driver
had persistently refused to out of the tracks
to allow the to pass. and upon being invited by
the conductor visit the carbarn in order take
licking at some future time when both parties
to the dispute should be at leisure. he proposed
to settle the matter at once. He climbed down
from the hearse. knocked out in the first
round and the blockade was lifted.
'I 119 years DID, said the visitor. You OBJ
serve that M my ~ step is firm ! read fine print with
to excess X, SIS, and I'd smoked eigarettes and
..Iisten!" Numbered the other. 81 have all my
Then the editor burst into loud. incredulous
laughter and pointed out that the age of miracles
was past.-(Detroit Journal
soldier in the Philippines from Kansas writes
home Il don't see how any fellow over here
go back on a girl at home. for have learned how
to appreciate any white girl, the like of which
never see here, and when think of breaking my
promise lowell, guess nit.'
Il repeat, gentlemen" said the orator ''the In
huence of the press has departed. Give way there,
you fellows In front. and stop crowding the re-
conditions?''-C Philadelphia North American.
Mrs. Edward D. Winsow the wife of the United
States Consul-General at Stockholm. Sweden.
the first woman to operate automobile IN that
city. Her machine is of American make, and is
propelled by electricity. There only four of
the vehicles now In in King Oscars capital
although the roads and surroundings peculiarly
adapted for the sport
Her Unfashionable Figure.-Emma-I must go
right away to sa cure 1ofnr in Masasn6ad5
mo doctor; my dressmaker."- -(F1iegende bat
ter
Statistics compiled by the German Government
show that the oak is more likely to be struck by
lightning than any other tree. The beech Is the
most seldom struck. and next in exemption is the
pine. OF the lightning struck trees upon which the
calculation based IS per oak, p per
cent fir. 10 per cent pine and per cent beech.
Stranger to shabby individuaD-Are you the jani-
Shabby Individual-No. sir The gentleman with
the big diamond pin and silk hat who just went
Then you of his assistants suppose?'
Yes suppose I'm the owner of the build
ing.'-(Chicago News.
Mr. President" said Bishop Stevens at the re-
cent General Council of the Reformed Episcopal
Church. in Baltimore IT smoke and I shall con-
tinue to smoke. don't believe the of tobacco
is bad it has been described: believe it is
all piece of will worship. God has said
anywhere that shall be ministers of His
Gospel If do it. God provided for every
need IN nature. and thank God for my cigar"
was Mrs; out RFske10hnny did the doctor call while
Little Johnny (stopping his pIay)-Yes'm He
felt my pulse an looked at my tongue. and shook
his head. and said II was very serious case, and
ne left this paper. and said he'd call again before
night.
Mrs. Briske-Gracious me, 1t wasn't you I sent
him to see; Ii the baby.-(Pick-Me-Up-
committee of Charleston g. C) citizens will
go to Washington In the interests of the pro-
posed South Carolina Interstate and West Indian
Exposition. TO be held IN Charleston next year.
The city will raise $3.50 OO and it is hoped tha, the
Government will appropriate s2Soooo more
The housewives in certain section of Omaha
would much like to interview the kindly faced
and eloquent gentleman who recently sold them
Bermuda lily bulbs They have few things TO say
to him, and prepared TO say them in proper
style.
The kindly faced and eloquent gentleman ques-
ton recently passed through this section Of the
city and gathered up goodly quantity of shekels,
being current coin of the realm. In
turn therefor he left bulbs that warranted
produce lilies that would cheer the hearts of the
beauty.
His customers have choice lots of well de-
veloped onions which they will dispose OF at ruin
Gus prices.-(Omaha World-Herald.