The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-07-28
IN HOTEL CORRIDORS.

trip to this country remarked an old
gentleman who was chatting with a few
friends at the Copeland when first
came to this country Topeka was not
much Of town as remember it. We
camped here for several days before
going en- west That was my first long
trip IN a wagon, and have never en-
joyed a trip since as I did that one
We went to Dodge City and there were
many interesting and amusing incidents
to break the monotony of the trip before
we reached that place. 1 remember one
night we were camped at point sew
era1 days out from Topeka and were
Just sitting down to supper when a
man rode up and asked if there was a
doctor in our party. The only man who
could make any claim to the title in
our party was a fellow named Johnson
VINO was a sort OF horse doctor ana
went by the rather common and mis-
leading name of Doc The man said
that he was with a party eamped a, few
miles distant and that one of the drivers
was poisoned It was a freighter'S lay
out and he explained that the driver
had got in one of the boxes and taken
poison by mistake We all looked to
Doc to do something as there was not
a. regular physician within a hundred
miles and Doc arose to the occasion
He skirmiShed around among his medf-
cfnes, and in the chest that contained
such remedies as we carried, and fixed
up dose that was calculated to make
the man who had taken poison throw it
up He gave the concoction to the mes
man and also to pour a lot of lard down
his throat. I think thatu make him
heave it up he said, and that's about
all can do for him There amt no use
in my gOin' over We did not see any
thing more of the man until we got to
Dodge, and there one day Doc and 1
met him the street Doc stopped
him and said: Say, did that fellow who
at US and shook his head for an answer.
He didn't, said Doc Didn't that
medicine make him vomit2' The fellow
grfnned and said guess he did; he
vonited once before he died and twice
afterward- Oh, the medicine worked all
right
They used to tell story about an
eastern woman who made an amusing
blunder in piece she wrote for some
eastern paper" continued the old gen
tleman, which was due to her lack of
knowledge of western terms. There lived
in Colorado a man who had struck it
rich and besides becoming a millionaire,
had got pretty high up in the political
world Prior to his rich strike he had
lived in Kansas and was very poor. He
had very little education and, like most
people of that kind, he liked to see his
name in print and never tired of read
ing the stories that were written of his
humble origin, his early struggles and
his final step to riches and fame. His
wife was much the same as her husband
and any reporter who got in a good ar
ticle concerning them was almost GER
tain to receive a pleasant token of ap-
preciRtion in the shape Of a very re-
spectacle check and it is said that some
times the check required four figures.
Every person who lived in the west in
an early day knew what buffalo chips
were, because before the day of timber
and fences and gasoline and coal oil
stoves buffalo chips were the only fuel,
and every one who crossed the prairie
or homesteaded a claim built their fires
with them This eastern woman spoke
of was a journalist and she had heard
of the easy way in which the millionaire
was worked by the newspaper men, so
she determined to do a little stunt in
that line herself She was a. cOrrespOn-
dent for some eastern paper, and any
western story was acceptable, especially
when it related TO sucn people as the
millionaire and his wife. She easily got
the story of their life and wrote a
splendid account of it. She told how
they had toiled on a Kansas farm, had
fought grasshoppers drouth cyclones
and ehineh bugs and had finally been
driven from home by a foreclosure of
the mortgage She pictured their trip
westward across the prairie, driving a
team, and their final great
strike in the mountains She fairly out
did herself when she described the mil
Honaire'S wife and her home. In this
respect she distanced all previous rec
ords, and when the eastern paper. came
containing the article she thought she
would get the largest token of appreci-
alton that had yet been issued. A mark
millionaire and his wife and a little note
went along, probably containing a little
more gush, but no check came by re-
turn mail or any other mail. The east
ern journalist could not understand
wherein she had failed to please and
after a time, told of her venture to a
friend and produced the article for the
friend to read The friend was a west
ern man and while perusing the account
burst into laughter. He refused to tell
why he laughed, but said he didn't be-
vised her to keep away from Mrs. Mil
vised her to keep away from RS Mil
liOnaire. What he discovered was this:
The journalist had attempted to tell
in the article how the millionaire and
his wife had lived only on dried beef for
several days before making their strike,
and she had got tangled because she |
attempted to use a western term with
which she was not familiar Dried beef
did not have sufficient western tWang
for a piece that was filed with western
phrases intended for the eastern read |
ers, SO she made it read that they had
lived on buffalo chips which she believed |
meant dried buffalo meat Clipped. 1t
is needless to add that Mr.. and Mrs.
Millionaire were not pleased"
ct got fooled last week by ft1ckster."
remarked a travelling man at the Fifth |
avenue, land I don't believe I will ever
hear the last Of it. I was home and as
usual was hanging around home doing
nothing in particular A huckSter came
along the street selling fish and as 1
like fish I went out to see what he had. |
1t proved to be a job lot but among them
found some catfish which I did not |
think had been dead too long and in |
quired the price 1 was informed that |
it was seven cents a pound I picked |
out what I wanted and the man threw
them on the scales Seven pounds he !
said. Seven SeVenS is seventy-SeVen-
take it along for Seventy-fve-' L paid I
him the money and went into the house |
never giving the matter a thought. At |
dinner my wife asked how much 1 had |
paid for the fish and how many pounds |
1 had bought. I told her and she re- |
as 1 supposed she would, that |
she could buy cheaper than that at the |
market I said considered seven cents |
pretty cheap for fish Then, of course, |