The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-16
| Mr.. JobSon on Rabies
IRON the very beginning of the dog

HAO-A luc very DeS inning VI luc Jug
muzzling agitation Mr.. Jobson
was opposed to it. 1t should be said,
in passing, that Mr.. Jobson belongs to
that exceedingly large class of house
holders who begin by bitterly resent
ing all new local ordinances, only to
wind up by shouting the praises of the
same from the housetops.
Huh" said Mr.. Jobson to Mrs. job
SOL when he first read of the move
ment to make the muzzling Of dogs
compulsory in the district. Now it's
suggested that all of our pups and
dogs shall have their heads jammcd
into traps! What do you think of such
Dalderdash as
IL understand that it is movement
tending to protect the public" VEN
tured Mrs. Jobson. ut seems there
have been so many mad dogs that
''Oh. you believe in the scheme, then,
Mrs. Jobson, l see," cut in Mr.. job
son. well, 1 might ha' known that,
seeing that 1 think it's the rankest
imbecility ever heard of. Mad dogs,
YOU say, Mrs. Jobson? Let me tell
you something: If there were half as
many mad dogs running around loose,
swapping and snarling, as there are
mad human beings, this earth would
be hcwling bedlam and unfit to live
in within just ten days! All this talk
about the millions and octillions of
mad dogs that're rearing and roaring
around, trying to get bite at"
"But, as [ understand it," mildly
suggested Mrs. Jobson, lit is simply q
measure of precaution, taken to pre-
vent the spread of rabies
"rhere you're at it again, Mrs. job
son!" said Mr.. Jobson, throwing down
his paper and jumping up and stamp
ing around. There you 60 canting
on another one of those subjects that
you know just as much about as know
about Turkestan! Rabies! Madame,
will you be good enough to devote
about four minutes of your valuable
time to lucid, graphic, terse ex-
PLANTATION, for my low, common, be-
n:ghted benefit, of what the rabies is?
Is it like mayonnaise dressing, or does
1t resemble in it's general outlines that
mouchoir receiver you made me for
Christmas? Is it peculiar to North
American dogs alone, or can the COM
mon, domestic, house iaguar of Hon
duras get it and gloat over it? Is it
served cold, with hard sauce, or is it
fetched in, piping hot, with cheap
cooking brandy flaming over the top
OF it? Did you learn all about rabies
at the same time that you picked up
Honiton lace work, or did you get
your wealth Of information about it
FROM
"Why, it's simply what I've read
about the disease that" began Mrs.
Jobson.
"Oh. it's what you've read about it,
is it?" said Mr.. Jobson. "Wel,, if
you're going to embark in the bust
ness of believing everything you read,
Mrs. Jobson, you'll be so inflated after
awhile that you'll go right up into the
air without pinions! You'll be believ-
ing about those frogs that hop out of
solid pieces of coal, weighing 6,9s5.45
pounds, said pieces of coal having
formed themselves about S1,275 wears
ago"
But l thought that rabies was just
as well-defined a. disease in dogs as"
"As pneumonia, or the measles, or
the mumps. in the human species, Ell ?"
interrupted Mr.. Jobson: well, lust
to set you right in that matter. I'll
inform you that there's no such thing
as rabies-that rabies only exists in
the heads of lot Of wild-eyed fanatics
that all scientific men of reputation
simply grin from ear to ear when thew
read these newspaper accounts of dog
bitten human beings shuddering and
frothing at the mouth-that the rabies
is among us to about the same extent
as-the dodo, the jubjub bird and the
Jabberwock! Rabies is boyle man,
with which to scare infants in arms.
but as for"
what ails the creatures, then, when
they begin to growl and
What ails 'em!" bawled Mr.. Jobson.
MADAME, there were times in nv life.
long before met you, when was hun
CRY and cold-starved and freezinp-
and 1 want to tell you that did a
whole heap of growing myself! Just
because lot of poor, neglected, kicked
around stray dogs happen to be try
ing the best they know how to pick
up precarious living in this commu-
nifty, and because one or two of 'em
have become so sore and wrought up
over the situation that they've given
audible manifestations to their senti-
me~-s in the premises, lot of long
haired scientific, or alleged scientific.
cranks bob up and claim that the whole
population of the District of Column
bia is in danger of determination from
mad dogs! I'll tell you
Just then Mr.. Jobson's next-door
neighbor dropped in for talk about
the bill for pensioning civil employees
and Mr., Jobson turned to him.