davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-03-15
TIE THOUSAND-DOLLAR BILL
AnrsTtRY the UNITED STATES rKrasuRr-a snoKr
By LEONARD oUrRAN

words about It! That's what I would
do, mind that"
Wilton laughed lightly.
"The bundles ofrubbish: ninety-nino
or a hundred bills; what would It mat
ter to Uncle Sam? And ! should SEND
each of you $3.50. Think 1t over. dad
Think 1t over? shall never forget
this talk of yours, Wilton. A crime
conceived is half executed. May I
never hear more of this combination
of yours, in joke or in fact, will be my
prayer from this day to God In Hea-
ven."
And shaking his head angrily, the
father strobe into the house.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1900-03-15

Judge-"Have you anything to say
before the sentence be passed."
Burglar-"Yes'r; If I'd know'd that
spinster lady had a dinner bell under
err piller things d come out diff'r'nt."
INDIANAPOLIS Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04

sBah!" cried old iestyman. angrily
- he finished the report OF a case In
which school-teacher had been fined
for thrashing one of his pupils. bah!
things have changed since my time.
nasure you. Boys were boys then. and
nc, afraid Of good licking. and they
go, one pretty often. | can tell you.
Wh5, sir, I've had my back Scared with
wea!> tor six months at time"
''YoN must have looked a pretty pic.
ture, 1 ahould think" remarked u fel.
low clutman.
IL was," said Testyman. briefly; "a
picture by one Of the old masters"
And the old fellow chuckled grimly ns
he toddled away TO the card-roon.-
Ally Slipper.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
THE BEST OF ALL.

For over fifty years Mrs. wSsLOw's soorH'
ING SYRUP has been used by mothers for their
children while teething. Are you disturbed NJ
night and br roken Of your rest by sick child
suffering and crying with pain Of cutting teeth!
II so send at once and get n bottle Of mrs. Win
slows Soothing Syrup for Children Teething.
Is value is incaIculable. It will relieve the poor
little sufferer Immediately. Depend upon Il.
mothers. there Ia no mistake aboutft. ncures
diarrhca. regulates the Stomach and Bowels.
cures Wind Collie, softens the Gums. reduces
Inflammation. and gives tone and energy TO the
whole system "Mrs. winslow's Soothing BY
children teethir~ 's p'eSsant TO the
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
COULD NOT KILL THE HOBO.
Rusty Rufus Was on the Pilot Milk
Ing a Cow After Running Into
o Herd.

"It was way back in the '70s," said
an old engineer. II was pulling the
limited east from Council Bluffs to
Chicago over the Rock Island. The
night was bitterly cold. We had gone
about 20 miles out, and had stopped
at night Office for ORDERS. and had
started up again, when the fireman
reached over and said: There is a
hobo on the pilot; saw him get on at
the depot 'Sure' l asked. Go out
on the running board and see if he's
there yet The fireman did as he was
information that the hobo was still
there.
"Well,' said /, it's bitter cold
night, and If he can stand it out there
/ am willing he should ride with me.
And on we went toward Chicago, with
cid Ell barking like sixty at the low
joints ahead and forgetful of our head
end passenger on the pilot.
"By and by, by the faint glimmering
of the headlight, thought saw ahead
what seemed to be a bunch of cattle on
the track. AS we approached it the
bunch seemed to grow larger. 1t was
now too late to do anything. so just
pulled her wide open and old 211 hit
that bunch of cattle 'ka-bif.' To para
phrase the language of Tennyson, who
glides into raptures of admiration over
the charge of the Light brigade at Bala-
klava, there was just simply cattle to
the right of us, cattle to the
left of us, but none any more in
front of us. After it was over our
thoughts reverted to the hobo on the
pilot. Go out and see IL he is still
there said"
"Well," said an old brakeman. under
whose feet the frosts of many winters
had cracked as he wended his way in
the dark over many long train of box
cars, and who had been listening to
the story. "Well," said he, "was he
killed?"
"No." replied the engineer. "There
he sat, as large as any hobo could sit,
on the pilot with an oyster can milking
one of those burned cows."-Topeka
Capital.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
SLEEVES IN SUMMER.
The Latest Are Made to Counter
balance Tightncss of the
New skirts.

Sleeves are becoming an objective
point in the costume. This is probably
due to the extreme tightness of the
skirts and the desire to increase the
width of the shoulders as u counter
balance. Plain sleeves are becoming
only in perfectly-formed woman, and
hence the efforts of the modistes to in
troduce them have failed. Among the
sleeves seen on eight imported gowns,
the first sleeve is that of an apricot
colored satin. 1t is cut in point upon
an epaulette of mousseline de sole. The
bottom is cut out in points upon puff
fing of mousseline. There is a vine of
embroidery at the top and at the hand.
The second sleeve is that of plain cash
mere gown, and is made elegant and be-
coming by tucks. The third sleeve is
that of wool challie. 1t is cut in two
plaits on each side under rosette; the
top is open upon plating of mousse
line de sole, with small ruches. The
fourth sleeve is that of silk poplin
gown, with guipure insertion and
ruches of mousselne. The fifth belongs
10 tailormade gown, and the sixth is
tha: of mauve wool. cut1nto several
parts and fastened down by buttons.
The seventh sleeve is that of gray
poplinette gown, the edges finished
with ruches of mousseline de sole. The
last sleeve, of black satin, has the up
per part covered by guipure. which is
framed by loops of ribbon.
Sleeves will in the near future form
still more important part of the
gown than they do even now.
AS to the tight skirts, there is some
thing almost shocking about the
swathing lines which now SO unequiv-
ocally reveal the entire figure of fash
ionable woman. She has divested her.
self of every possible morsel of inside
drapery which it isgiven her to discard.
and wears her frocks meat" to quote
big man milliner, over combinations or
long woven vests which reach to the
knee, where they are joined by lace or
silk founces.
OF course, this new skirt, fitted as it
is without single wrinkle over the
back, when trailing a foot or twp in
length over green lawn or velvet pile
carpet, is all very well; but how alb, ut
the half-attempted, 'half-accomplished
version OF the country dressmaker.wh
Just misse. the right curves and
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
HOUSEHOLD HELPS.
A Budget of Valuable SuEgestions
for the Aid OF the busy
House wife.

The passion for old-time things has
brought into fashion the homemade
rag carpet, but there are more artistic
ways of having it woven than the ever
lasting stripe. A handsome carpet is
solid centerpiece of maroon. The
warp should be colored the same shade
as the rags, and all may be colored at
home, il desirable for economy's sake
with diamond dyes, and to utilize both
light and dark rags very handsome
border is made of shaded red and
orange woven in the old-fashioned
stripe. Another style is to have very
heavy warp used twice as thick as for
ordinary carpet; color it several de-
sired shades. This produces a very
pretty checked carpet, weaving in the
rags in stripes.
No variety of greens is more valuable
than the dandelion, and when proper
ly cooked it is tender and finely fla
vored. Wash thoroughly, put into boil
ing water and cook for one hour; drain,
cover with salted boiling water and
cook two hours longer. Drain again.
cut up fine, season with one saltspoon
of pepper and one tablespoonful of
butter and serve with the following
sauce: Rub the yolks of two hard
boiled eggs until smooth; add one
saltspoonful of salt, one-quarter as
much white pepper and two table
spoonfuls of thick cream. Beat thor
oughly, then gradually add one cup
full of vinegar; stir until dressing is
the consistency of cream.
Apple jelly equal to the finest ounce,
currant or crab jelly is made in the
following manner: Take apples, wipe
and slice them; use seeds, skins and
all; add sufficient water to cover and
cook until SOFT strain through a
cloth, taking care not to squeeze. To
every pint of juice allow half the juice
of lemon and pound of sugar. Boil
the liquid 35 minutes over quick fire
before adding the sugar. Allow all
TO come to the boil again, then remove.
The pulp remaining in the cloth may
be squeezed through it, and with lem
on and sugar added in the same pro
portion as in the jelly makes most
excellent marmalade.
For mutton steak purchase two
pounds of mutton from the shoulder;
this can be had for half the price of
steaks. Have the butcher trim it care
fully and chop with two knives until
fine. Add one-fourth of pound of beef
suet chopped fine. Make into steak
to fit your broiler, and broil over n
clear fire. Season when done with a
teaspoonful of salt and fourth as
much paprika. Place on hot platter,
dot with butter, using tablespoonful.
Pour around it tomato sauce.
To prevent things in the oven from
being burnt or becoming too brown,
basin or pie dish of water should be
! put on TIE lower shclf ." shst the
steam caL rise.
Mildew n led by dipping
| the article -. sour buttermills and
laying them in the sun to dry.
Never throw away beef marrow
save it, andlle it be chopped with suet
when making boiled pudding.
Cinders, If saved and wetted with n
little water, make very hot fire for
ironing days.-Troy Times.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04

81 always form my opinion of man
frou, my impression at first sight Of
him." observed Rivers. "and seldom
haye to change it. Now. that fellow
who has just gone out took an in
stan: dislike to him when.he came IN,
and nothing will ever make me think
differently of him."
81 noticed he had bill against you,"
remarked Brooks.-Chicago Tribune.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
HAD $1,000 BUT WAS HUNGRY.
How n Lucky Tramp In Chicago Got
the Name of BEING an Hon
est Mnn.

"rve slept under shed with the
thermometer way below zero" said
the tramp, ''and I've gone two long
days with nothing to eat, but I'm tell
ing you straight that when | once had
$1,000 in my pocket / was worse off
than at any other time | can remem-
Der. / had Just been let out of the
bridewell in Chicago, and was begging
on the streets and being turned down
on every hand, when l picked up a
$1,000 bill on the sidewalk. ! thought
1t was dollar, and you bet made a
hustle to get down side street. When
] lodged into doorway and made out
that | was thousand dollars ahead
of the game the sweat started from
every pore and my knees knocked to-
gether. l was regularly seasick for
ten minutes, and my heart thumped
away until l thought it would breal,
out.
THAT $1,000 meant heap for me,
you understand, but / was so excited
that it was two hours before ! could
do any planning. The first thing was
to buy new suit of clothes, and | en-
tered store and picked them out.
When | exhibited that $1,000 bill the
clothier ran to the door to call n po-
liceman. got away by close squeeze,
then realized the situation. Tramp
was, | couldn't get it changed at
bank nor use it to make me more
comfortable. If it had been a ten
could have had lodgings and Il bed,
but I'm telling you that | walked the
streets rs hungry as a shark, and slept
at n police station and in lumber
yards.
"Undcr the circumstances the bill
might rs well have been n piece OF
brown paper. | tried all sorts of
lodges to get it busted, but it was nc
90. Every time | showed it | ran the
risk of arrest. | offered butcher $l00
to get it changed, but he refused 10
have anything to do with it. I'd have
sold it for half price and been glad to-
but there was no such thing as max
ing deal. Finally, in despair, | went
to one of the newspaper offices and
looked up the advertisements for the
week past. The loser had advertised
and went to his Office in big build
ing and gave up the bill. The reward
was $50, but he counted out ten dol.
lars on top of that and said:.
- wouldn't have believed there was
such honesty in the world. You could
have kept the bill as well as not
''IIe took down my name and all that
and gave the affair away to the report.
ers. They wrote me up as the Honest
Tramp and had my picture in the
papers, but you may guess didn't en-
JOY it over much. / had $50 in place OF
$1,000, and as for honesty, it was al
bosh. returned the bill because had
to, hungry and dead
q, uI a.. uoh . nIpN ssner, "
in for the night l'In not looking fol
vant more big finds. Something with
figure g on the corner will just
about fit my vest pocket. "-CLicagc
Inter Ocean.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
Somewhat Ambiguous.

A gentleman lately dismissed clever
but dishonest gardener. For the sake
Of his wife and family he gave him u
character. and this is how he worded
it: 81 hereby certify that A. b. has
been ny gardener for over two years,
ard that during that time he got more
out of my garden than any man ever
employed. d."-Tit-Bits.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04

Tommy Brown--Is your big sister en-
gagged To Mr.. White?
Susie-No, an guess she don't want
to be.
Tommy Brown-Did she say so?
Susie Green-No. but she knowed he
was comm tonight, an she eat onions
at supper.-Carhoic Standard and
Times
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04

She-I suppose you are aware, Fred,
that an engagement is a serious thing?
He-Oh. yes. Why. some of them lead
to u.arriage.-Town Topics.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
sano..s lnverer.te Besxar..

An American who visited the Steven
sons in Samoa relates that the Samoans
have practice Of begging. They bold
" ask for whatever they may covet
wherever II may be found. The novelist
-ame tired Of this practice and there
said one day to Samoan friend
'~ed him v~,cktie.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
A D.Iicote CompIIment.

Mrs. Matchmaker-Mr. Wise, take
it from your interest in my daughter
Pearl that you're gem connoisseur.
Mr.. Wise-lt's due, madam. to my
great aiiniration for mother of Pearl.
Jewellers Weekly.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04

Mrs. Jones-Your mother was tell
ing me to-day that when you were
born your grandmother predicted that
you would marry wisely and happily.
lones-What good joke on my
grandmother!-N. Y. World.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
Imitation Declined.

Jason-Come home and take dinner
with me tonight. old chap-will you2
Thayer-Why-er-
Jason-Oh, but you must come. My
wife's had some fool friend there every
night for two weeks, and want to get
even.-Judge.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
More wonderful,

"Yes," she said, II have a daughter
who is married to an earl"
''Humph." ne returned. THAT'S
ynethin'. I've got Eve daughters mar.
ried to men they picked out themselves,
and don't have to support any of EN-"
Chicago Times-Herald.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04

Mai. Goodfellow-So he called you
liar, drunkard, Il card sharp and a
chicken thief. did he?
Maj. Hottbun-Ile did. sub! but when
he went further and said was not a
gentleman, drew on him to wunst.
suh!-Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04

A little babe. beyond doubt.
Is bald until his hair comes out;
And. later on. in manhood when
His hair comes out. he's bald again.
L. A. W. Bulletin.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
Hume for Him,

Goslin-I lose my head SO readily.
done her know, Miss Amy.
Miss Amy--How fortunate! One of
these times you'll get another.-Har-
lem Light,
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
COncett.

Mrs. Spatts-.l wouldn't marry tn,
best man livirg il had 1t to do Ovel
again.
Spatts-l wouldn't ask you again.
Brook lyn Life.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
She couidn't Throw.

Mdbel-They say she fairly threw
herself at him.
Jack-I don't believe It. She would
have missed nim If she had done that.
N. Y. Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
A bad Art Eject.

DuU MI EueCt.
II can't go out to play golf with Miss
Booster any more"
"Why not?"
"The stripes in my golfing suit are
horizontal and hers are perpendicular"
Chicago Record.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
In,nosxiLla tn Dauht.

''How do xnow this is i5-year-old
whisky?"
Here is ths written guarantee. sir.
Of the man Who invented the process
for aging it."--Chicago Tribune.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
The philosophcr.

The big chair trust has been per-
fected."
"Well, there's still the ground to sit
on" ."-Cleveland Iain Dealer.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
Csually the Wny,

Tommy" said the teacher. what is
meant by nutritious food?"
Something 10 eat that amt got nj
taste 10 L." replied Tommy.-Tit-Bits
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04

yVANTED-SEvERAL BRIGHT AND HON
w est persons to represent US as Managers i'm
this and close by countless salary 5000 % year
and expenses. Straight, bona-fide, no more
no less salary. Position permanent. Our refer
ences, any bank in any town. II Is mainly Of
flee work conducted ut home. Reference. En-
close self-addresscd stamped envelope The
DOMINION COMPANY. Dept. 3, Chicago e-2S-l g.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04

Miss Pinchblow-Do you think It is
possible 10 get good idea of Europe
in six weeks?
Miss Fiddle back--Oh. no! should
stay eight If were you.-Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
Her side Of the Question.

Upon his wheel he scours the country,
His wife al nome bicycling loathes;
Fer next day it's her dirty duty
30 scour the country off his ciothes
Judge.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04

$50 they finally fro@e johnson out Of
the company, did they?"
"Yes. And never saw n hotter man
in all my life. e."--indianapoli Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04

ssI.: ss.1 y Ys sDSsS e. il1Ss' loI's :.s5 : ss;: 3;
VII send you any sss pssss "a
by freight, z. o. b., subject e
examination. vsu esa ssanulns
e q yeer fFsighl 1sps( and II yor
find tt the equal Of any an
proof combination Socf iror
and steel safe made and sksuI
ecs-tAlr1 tie prsee sbssvsl b
0ehess ~ the slns siss ~ igrs6e.
pAy your freight aGest eui
speelal fhetsey Ds1ee as1
se Tturn ~ st our oxponeo
$500. loO.IA. ssuilsstiss
. so0.lb o1Aes 81 sfars ssSss.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
D....v and us,,hty.

We can't haze roses all the year.
So nature b as things planned:
But strawbep ries-as fondly dear.
May be preserved and canned.
Detroit FREE Press.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04
Solid Trans to Northern Michigan.

The Chicago. Milwaukee st. Paul Railway
is now running solid trains OF palace sleeping
cars, dining cars (serving meals la carte)
ago 20 Calumet, Houghton, uoncock and other
points In the copper Country without change
of cars with direct connection ior Marquette
Negaunee. lshpeming etc and passengers from
the East, South and Southwest will find this
m ost desirable route.
All coupon ticket agents SCI via the
Chicago, Miiwaukes & st. Paui Y. 81,
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1900-01-04

TT witl ordsF, otherwf
1o Wo WI return y
IN. IN 8. - = y. .'.'' .
New-York tribune., 1900-05-06
CLIMBER or COMMERCE PORTRAITS

RECENT ACQUISITION Of LIKENEssEs OF AMOS
p EMO AND CORNELIUS VANDERBILT.
Two new portraits were added 10 the Cham
Der Il Commerce gallery recently. and now oc-
c--v ranspicuous places in that notable collec-
ti.-. They are life size paintings Of Amos r
Emo. by Eastman Johnson, presented to the
Chamber by his family, and Of Cornelius Van
6--tLt, By Daniel Huntington. The Vanderbilt
portrait which was presented by his widow, is
OF -a-ee-qUarters length and shows Mr Wander
bit seated a. q window in his house. The Break
ers al Newport The left arm rests on the
crimson sofa on which he IS seated. and the
right hand holds a copy Of the Metropolitan
Museum II Arts reports. over the gray bust
ness suit which was AIr. Tanderbilts favorite
dress he artist has painted a dark fur lined
Cvercoat
The Chamber Of Commerce gallery now has
tie portraits Of three generations Of the Van
de-aI- family. Jared B Flaggs painting Of
Commodore Cornelius Vanderbilt and Eastman
Johusau's replica OF his portrait OF William H
Vanderbilt were given TO the Chamber by Cor
neius Vanderbilt in 1881. and hang over the
door which leads 10 the small meeting room
New-York tribune., 1900-05-06

pher, electrician. stereotyper, printer and en-
graver. They are reliable. steady hands. who
take pride in their work" These workmen
are all low caste Hindoos, and only a few are
Christians. The best man in the concern, who
acts as general foreman, receives SO a month
for his services but he is the only one whose
pay approaches the princeIy mark The other
skilled workmen receive from 50 TO 81 a month
for eight hours work day and the boys and
helpers are cOntented with 81 and 81 20 a month.
The people who work for us" said the mis-
sonary, are not Christians. but they conform to
the regulations OF the institution, one Of which
is that every working man must attend prayers
every morning. The people assemble in one of
the large rooms. and after prayers go to their
respective places, and to that extent they are
Christians"