Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1900-01-05
BoDKIN AND THE MOUSE.
The Disasters of a Determined Canaf
paiEn Against FOur-Footed
Household Pests

Nehemiah Bo6kin. banker, philanthro-
pist and economist, the other morn
ing after breakfast, at the same time
glancing knowingly at his wife |
There's no use talking" repeated Bod
kin, in a patronizing manner, this
house has got to be rid of the multi
plicity of perambulating, little four
legged cusses, otherwise known as
mice, that infest this place from cellar
TO attic. I tell, you, Mrs. Bodkin, there
aas got to be a stop put to this non
sense, or else the neighbors viii accuse
US of running a rat incubator and doing
our best to infest the neighborhood-
But, madam, this rat problem is about
90 be solved and at the hands of Nehe-
miah Bodkin."
'Why, my DEAR" interrupted Mrs.
Bodlin, who knew only too well the re-
suits of following her husbands eco
nomical streaks, were you not aware
that there are men who hire out as pro-
fessional ratcatchers who could clear
our house of the pests in n few hours,
and"
Not another word,' broke out Nehe-
miah, at the same time endeavoring to
increase his stature and casting wither-
ing chances at his wife he almost
-oared: DO you expect me to pay out
good money to professional good-for-
nothings. who couldn't catch a rat
afterit had been stricken with the blind
staggers? No, Mrs. Bo6kin, have de-
cided to attend to this matter myself,
and shall not call in any outsiders
either"
With this remark, Bodkin arose from
the table. He crossed to the opposite
side of the room and opened the door
into the vestibule just in time to see
tiny mouse dodge through the grating
in the hall register. All the ire in Bod
kin was at once aroused, and rushing
| over to the register he slammed the
shutter to with such force that he near
| ly lost his balance. Resuming his
| equilibrium, Bodkin surveyed the
scene with a look of evident superior
| ty. He had trapped one of the little
| pests and now he had a chance to get
| square, and also to show Mrs. Bodkin
| that when Nehemiah Bodkin said he
J was going to rid the house of rats there
was no fooling about it.
| Closing the doors leading into the
vestibule, Bodkin donned his overcoat
and gloves, the former to keep out the
! cold and the latter to protect his hands
| from gore. He considered that that
particular mouse would be past history
in about the smallest fraction of a
second. Then selling a poker from
the kitchen he repaired to the scene
of conflict. Mrs. Bodkin had in the
| meantime discovered what her hus-
band was up to. She had heard the
racket in the vestibule, and surmised
that operations were to be begun al
once. Taking up a position at the
head of a stairway, Mrs. Bodkin had a
commanding view of the situation
from behind a convenient portiere.
With a look of determination on his
countenance, Bodkin stalked oveI- to
the register and prepared to dispatch
the offender on first sight. He fe
moved the grating quickly, out jumped
the mouse, and kerwhack sounded the
poker as it came in contact with the
hardwood floor, where the mouse haC
. been a short time ago. But hi:
mouseship hadn't given up the ghos
> by any means. 1t just whisked about
that vestibule like a streak of CREASED
lightning. finally taking up position
in the shelter of one of the massive
, legs of the hall stand.
Bodkin, finding that he had no
knocked the mouse into smithereen
at the first whack, became furious
and swore that the next blow would
| put the finishing touch on that NOUS
and no mistake. Turning about, h
espied the mouse under the stand
the animal being in the act of wink
ing the other eye, or at least BodkiI
thought so. Holding the poker higl
above his head, Bodkin prepared TO
q magnificent finale. The poker de
scended with terrific force, struck on
of the carved legs of the stand, re
bounded into space and proceeded t
knock over the chandelier globes
Bodkin, in the meanwhile was per
forming an acrobatic feat on the foo
with a fleeing mouse and Mrs. Bodkil
as the only witness.
Bodkin recovered himself in an in
slant, grasped the poker from a mas
of broken glass and hurled it at tn
| fleeing mouse, the only result being t
smash the umbrella holder. Now, Bod
kin was mad in earnest. Great bead
of perspiration stood out on his broN
and sulphur laden currents of atmos
phere were being exhaled in all direc
: tions, while the poker was whackin
here and there, breaking the glass i
the hall stand, hacking the paint an
: plastering and leaving destruction i
o its wake. Just then, however, tn
s mouse got in the way of piece of fly
t ing debris, and it was all over.
Bodkin was triumphant, and wavin
y the dead mouse aioft, he called for hi
e wife, who thereupon emerged frol
o her position at the rear of the Do
r. there and came timidly down til
IL stairs.
l. Behold what might hath done
was his SANITATION 0An5 now Nal,