The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1900-03-07
GUYS Weather Hindsights.
Observations Taken on the
Wee-nee-Long's Legisla-
tive Ambition,
1. blows, and it SHOWS, aad lis cold stormy
weather-Hez. 4: is

IKE II UOu Cdio q iCo'o0', Wv Pei
chance by the time this gets to press
you may be sweltering and tanning
for fresh air, or the devil may be
freezing; who knows Well have to
ask Long Long predicted the three
SHOWS in January, and they got here
though one of 'em made rapid run
to get in on time and had to lay over
He also prophesied one more snow
and i. is also here On time, aud on
the earth and on our 6rewood too.
drat it. We asked the o!oomln' :
black what would come next, and be
answered, damphino. whatever that
means. Our present winter resort
was built in the summer and in the
"open work" style of architecture
and, as cold storage plant, is bril-
lian. success. If it's present tempe
rature can be preserved until summer
we'll rent it out as refrigerator, 80
doggon US.
Doggon the beautiful snow, the
'ceitful, treacberous, cruel snow. it
reminds us of some people, so softly,
silently, sweetly, unmercifa', Ugh !!
the little fine colds threads of air
direct ..from GTeenland's icy noun
tains'' search down through the mar
row aud CONCEAL the very fervency Of
our piety-tbat is-well, we don't
know the exact spot where our piety
is worn, but this weather would
freeze the microbes of original sin
Bed is sometimes, most generally
always the most comfortable resort,
but tonight the prospect is not pleas.
ing, for we are lone and disconso-
late pilgrim among this vale of tears,
and snow, and slush, and general Gus.
sedness, and are sure that the tempe
rature of the sheets would shock
polar bear, or an almanac We don't
object 10 beer on ice, but do object to
an ice cold bier as bed to sleep on.
We are forlorn and desperate and
have determined to resort to the jug
10 little brown jug. don't we love
thee ]" This jug contains hot stuff
boiling hot, corked up and rolled
under the kivver, la warming pas
and makes more pleasant bed tel
low than some we've had also beats
a brick-io your hat tomorrow morn
ing But cur fire is losing energy
our 6ogers are numb. aud we feel
like 33d degree chill and must hunt
the Jug Goodnight Should there
be any rigid, but superb'y majestic
cadaver discovered in the morning
it's US Gnv
Lster-We escaped and tbawed by
changing climate We didn't travel
but changed right here and more
rapidly than Florida special
Later-Changed again wind now
boxing compass from every point at
same time and if there was few
more points 'twould box every one
of 'em We'll bet on the wind.
Later-Wind knocked out in 365th
round Lost one bet but gained
some in weather which is amiable
and smiling but we place no trust
in smiles of weather or women
Later-Just so Pouring down
rain water, pint blank as
it did .sin the 60Gth year
of Noah's life, in the second
mouth, the seventeeth day of the
month when the biggest shower
beat the record There's nothing
dry and no one here has sense
enough to keep out Of the dampoess
Nary dry thing not even a dry
nurse
But it fatigues our patience to
keep run of the weather Well
relinquisb the task to Loug Long
clains to be too light for heavy work
and too heavy for light work, and is
hunting an easy, restful job and bas
decided on going to the Legislature
He has submitted few specimens OF
home made bills which be would
introduce just to keep him awake
when bis peanuts gave out GA bill
to require every full blooded, thor
ough bred yaller cur dogs tail TO De
cut off within two inches of his
backbone without license" Long
says he debated some time which
end of the dog to cut of, but con-
ciuded to start at the :aii end until
be could work on the Legislature to
eu. off t'other end He also states
that the clause "withcut license"
is obscure. but be IS only following
much precedent, ga bill to require
all running works of vehicles to be
built on the rotary disc harrow
style," ga bill to charter all public
roads as maca dam turnplkes to 60
into effect Immediately . "A bill to
abolish road work, a bill TO pros