New-York tribune., 1900-05-22
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

THE Boston Transcript notes the fact that
those trees which last summer suffered most from
the ravages of the caterpillar. and presented in
| the height of the a ragged. humilated and
| forlorn appearance, the first to be clothed
| with the beauty which conspicucusly belongs to
them in their true estate. while those which escaped
| suffering must wait longer for their
| nation
The Living Exemplifcation, Of Theory.-7"We
down dow his book And am willing to say the au-
Il am already believer" Mrs Hixson inter-
rupted You will insist on having lobster for
And Mr. .Hxon. mortified. grew very red
brooklyn Life
1.-The Chicago Times Herald" tells of a grumber
who has kept denouncing prosperity because
his salary not raised. About a week ago his
salary raised IS per cent But he isn't sat
sfied. In referring to the matter yesterday he
sad "Of course. The campaigns about to Open
They see they've got to do something to try to
make their side good. But they're not going to
brbe me. This is nothing less than a
villanous attempt to get my vote by paying for 1t
In underhanded way. It's outrageous as
saut my manhood, and I'm going to resent it
at the polls
senst9F @ Or Hoar is one of the wittiest well
inveterate punster. Not long ago he joined in
in tse Senate, and as they approached the entrance
to The Senate Chamber Mr.. Hoar motioned his
After you said the ex-senator. drawing back
polltely.
mo. indeed" retorted Senator Hoar 1.-The KS
always go before the wise."-(Cheago Record.
1.-The Philadelphia POST says .hat Charles ]
Bonaparte, of Baltimore, was once presiding at
the commencement exercises of Johns Hopkins
University. The address was to have been deliv-
cred by member of the faculty who was re-
markably absent minded When introduced he
stood up and confessed TO the large audience that
he had forgotten entirely that he was to make an
address; he recalled that something was on his
mind and he intended the night before to write
out speech. but instead of that it slipped his
memory, and he went to the opera. With that he
sat down. Mr.. Bonaparte and spoke these
three words: Opera non verba.' There was a
slight pause. and then a roar of laughter filled the
hall
Nav, whet's de difference between politician
and er statesman
Well, honey mushrooms good. amt it?"
"And .AAnnd a toadstoOd is pizen. amt it?"
and a!ey hhof look alike?"
tician."-( Brooklyn Life.
When the Rev. DR.. ]. r Ward was president of
Western Maryland College some of the students
stole the molasses from the kitchen and
poured streams of the treace down the whole of
the banisters that led from the sky parlor to the
basement. Dr. Ward got up very early the
morning. and he went down the steps he gath
cred handful of the molasses. The faculty sat in
solemn session, but an inkling could they find
to the identity of the misCreants. Suddenly the
humor of the thing broke upon the Doctor and he
said. Gentlemen. 1 may we'll confess I had a
hand in it,.
The Next Best Thing.-'I trust" said the new
member of the School Committee that you do not
hold out to your pupils the misleading hope that
each OF them may be the PRESIDENT"
NO indeed replied the dominic but I do not
think that err on the side OF improbabity when
/ teach them that each has good chance OF being
Presidential possibility. .'-( (Harpers Bazaar.
A French paper recently charged that an atlas
used in English schools contained a map of France
in 1910, showing the departments from Calais to
the Pyrenees as belonging to England" An Eng
lish schoomaster. James Heating, gives plausible
explanation. He says that this stretch of country
as belonging to England is shown in a school his
tory. and adds Our French friend has Willingly
unwttingy, transferred this map from a re-
mote past to Immediate future. The map in
question represents English territory in France at
the beginning of the reign of Richard / when the
whole OF the western side of France apperained to
England and its Norman kings. Note too how
easily the error is made-119o Is the date of the
map; transpose figure and 1190 becomes 1910
the date alleged
Didn't you steal that hOg?'' the rural Justice
inquired OF the thief caught IN the act.
We'll, sub, Mister Judge. mus admit dat l
outrun him"
And didn't you kill him?"
Well; sub, he did run 'gainst de butt er de axe
en- got his DEATH"
And you him, of course?"
We'll, Judge hit wuZ this way: De weather
,t; Wnz mighty hot hot en- arter he wuz dead hit look
en- smoked him. en- de fire wuz hot dat To-
could tu'n roun he cooked done: en- seein'
him in dat fix, dar wuz nothin let do but
Judge-all in sef-defence. II Rochester Post-Ex-
press