davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
And you really want my opinion in

"And you really want my opinion in
this question, Fred?"
Eyes, and I'm all attention"
"And you promise not to use my
views in your behalf?"
II promise anything and every
thing; am perfectly disinterested and
am seeking information only to benefit
my fellow men,"
Really? Such unselfishness is ex-
ceptional in one so young; but l sup
pose you have become imbued with the
statistical mania or thirst for ven
geance since your experience with the
census man."
my armor of good nature is i'm
penetrable tonight. Your keenest
shafts fail"
Gracious! What did you have for
supper? Well, then, l may as we'll
proceed with my dissertation-but
say, Fred, are you going to interview
any other girl on this question, too?''
"Well, you don't care if l do, do
your"
"Oh, no, Of course not; still, IL you
were depending entirely on me, you
know, l might try little harder to
give better IDEAS"
II yield, as usual. You can give me
your very best thoughts"
'Oh, thanks. First, you know, wom-
ems likes and dislikes change so
with age and experience. What period
of life do you want? Crib-age, sauce
age, manage or home-age?"
"Why not add rum-age and dam
age?"
Just because I'm talking about wom-
en- and not men. Now, will you try
to temper your sarcasm? But to con-
tinue, the first two ages are too youth
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28


A Frencnman in bioem1ontein says
that the English women there are re-
markable for the cheerful stoicism
with which they endure the anxiety
and discomforts of present conditions.
He INDUCES also, in other comments
that are interesting.
"One may observe among English
women" he says, "the same thing
in the matter of gracefulness that one
notices among the men in the matter
of politeness. There is no mean.
Either the English woman is extreme
ly graceful, pretty, elegant and even
recherche or else she is quite ridicu-
lous, ill dressed, sharp featured and
plain-the sort of woman for whom
there is no word in the French Ian
guage The great poet Heine wrote
once that, to a man who could see and
understand no woman was plain.
always believed him. Alas! l had not
seen certain English women, and
Heine could never have seen them
either.
All EHSilsH WoHdh WIN 10 Pi0''J
and clever possesses abundant charm,
but have seen French women by no
means pretty who have made them
selves so pleasing that they were to be
preferred to classic beauties. In Eng
land, however. when woman misses
being good looking the case Is hope
less. She knows not how to walk,
talk. please or narrate, and is COM
PEELED to take refuge in heroic endur-
ance of her plainness."
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28

A person bearing the same name as s
man who was charged at police court
in Ireland deemed it necessary to In
sert in the local papers an announce
ment that he was not the John Sulli.
van recently fined for drunkenness
The following appeared shortly aftec.
ward in all the papers containing The
announcement: Il, John Sullivan. who
was fined los for being drunk, beg to
return thanks to John Sullivan. Of
Ballykillin Lodge. for notifying that
am In no way connected with bis fam.
ily."-London Daily Graphic.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
What One Grain of Wheat Did.

Did you ever stop to think of the pos.
sibilities of grain of wheat? We are
SO used to seeing the field sown with
wheat and the crop come up and riper
that we quite forget how each little
grain does great work through the
summer days IN multiplying and add
ing to the farmers harvest. A farmer
near Phoenix, Ariz., planted one grain
of white Australian wheat, and at har.
vest time from it had sprung 1866
grains of large, fat wheat. He plant
ed ten acres of this wheat and harvest.
Cd 1T sacks, each weighing 13S pounds
The single grain spoken of produces
So stalks. so .ou see even grain oi
wheat helps wonderfully.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
A LOVE SONG.

The moon shines pale in the Western sky,
Like pearl set over a brow that
bushes;
There is many homeward bird in the air
And the hedges thrill with the thrushes.
Though my love be farther away from me
Than the East from the West or the
day from the night,
I have turned my face to his dwelling
place
And / bid him Good night" Good
night"
Though he less can feel my hurrying
breath
Than the tree the bird that Tits on its
bough,
Yet since the winds loves messengers be
They will bear him my kisses, l trow!
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
The Terrible Juvenile.

Pa" said William Jennings Bryan
Jr., balancing himself on the window
sill and making wild grab at pass
passing sparrow, haven't you got
down off your paramount issue OF
1882"
Il suppose so, my son." replied the
elder Bryan, hurriedly grasping the
boy by the collar and yanking him
back into the room.
II don't think you ought to have
got off, pa" said William Jennings
Bryan Jr., making a desperate effort
to turn handspring over chair. "Pa,
remount!"
Then it was that Bryan the elder
placed that boy across his knee and
but the rest does not concern us.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28

Mrs. Billikins-They say that only
people of unusual mental powers have
hay 'fever-that it is an affection which
only people of genius are likely to
suffer from.
Mrs. Wadhams-Oh, pshaw! There's
nothing in that theory. I never saw
anybody who had it worse than my
son-in-law has.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28

The trembling Boxer knelt before
Ii Hung Chang and strove to explain
matters.
II must have lost my head. l see
no other reason why l engaged in the
uprising, Son of the Blue Sky" he
walled
you are a trifle off in your gram
mar" interposed Ii. you should
say, 4 will have lost my head"
And the executioner stepped forward
at the proper STANDARDIZATION Amer
lean.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28

wick. "laid siege to the fortress; the
outworks fell one by one. and the cita-
del surrendered without discretion.
The progress was slow at first, but the
end came with startling rapidity. The
golden key unlocked even the most
exclusive portals. Mammon ruled SUI
preme. Never at any previous period
in English society has the power Of
wealth been so great"
Society, in Lady Warwick's opinion
and it Is very true one-has suffer-
ed revolution. "The former leaders
of society,"" she says, ARE elbowed on
one side If they cannot compete in the
display of mammon. Birth, talent,
service in the state, all have to give
way before this new power, which is
the more dangerous because it is SEN
sible of no checks, and acknowledges
but small responsibility"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
Settling the Land Question.

A collier wandering on some land
belonging to Earl D CHANGED to
meet the owner face to face. His lord
ship asked the collier If he knew he
was walking on his land.
"Thy land! Well, I've got no land
myself" was the reply, land I'm fore
ed to walk on somebody else's. Whaur
did you get it from?"
"Oh," replied the earl, 81 got 1t from
my ancestors"
"And whaur did they get 1t from?"
inquired the collier.
"They got 1t from their ancestors"
And whaur did their ancestors get
1t from?'
"They fought for It,"
"Ah, WE'LL said the collier, squar-
ing up to the earl come and I'll fight
thee for it."-London Tit-Bits.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28

o moon! shine first on my lips. and then
Go shine on the forehead Of him I love!
He will dream. perchance. that III angels
wing
Has Quivered his brow abovei
And sing. we BIRDS In his ears the song
My heart Is singing within my breast;
1t will thrill his heartstrings with ecstasy
And possess his soul with rest.
Xe. too, o fragrance of earth and flow
erS,
And voices of night In May!
Watch near him until in the eastern field
Blossom the roses OF day.
But thou, o wind! Lay close on his lips
The kisses thou hast In thy flight,
And he will stir In his sleep, and wake.
And whisper-"My heart-good night"
-Amelie Reeves.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
Most Discriminate.

For mercy's sake, Mildred" ex-
claimed Mrs. Highmore, shocked at
the neglige attire of her youngest
daughter, who had gone to the front
door to look at fire on the other side
of the street, don't you know you
never ought to appear in public with
your collar unbuttoned and your
sleeves rolled up except when you are
playing GOLF"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
Her Explanation.

"Your honor" said the lawyer, my
client acknowledges that she struck
the book agent with piece of gaspipe,
but she pleads that it was case OF
mistaken identity"
"How's that?" asked the Judge.
well. she thought it was her hus-
band. "-Baltimor American.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
Lively Function.

City Editor-"How did we come to
get scooped on that fire early this
morning."
Night Assistant-"There wasn't any
one here to send out on it but the So
ciety reporter
City Editor-"Well, why didn't you
send him?"
Night Assistant-"I did; and he
merely turned in half a column OF
names of those present. "-Philadel-
phia Press.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
AlsEmxn fE2f2sSA Sc.
10 5s&z4 Qf&}>HA$}&g;Y5YRR
The Lament of the Golfer.

The Lament of the Golfer.
The days are growing. short, alas!
The mellow autumn's here;
The grapes are crimson in the press,
The leaves are pale and sere.
The grass is yellow on the meads,
The hills are blue with haze;
The cider mill begins to hum
All, doleful autumn days!
Across the spreading fields the scent
or roses comes no more;
The fence Is bare that was so fair
With fragrant peas before!
The summers dead! The robin sings
Its farewell to the lark,
And oh it's such little while
From o'clock till dark!
S. E. Kiser.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
Cheated.

"Ah," said the groom, there 1t is!
Here's your friend Bardsley's wedding
present."
"Oh," exclaimed the bride who was
busy in her boudoir, what is it?"
IAN original poem of-let me see
five stanzas, with his book"
"Well! 1t seems to me that after
what 1 gave him and his wife they
might at least have sent us salad
dish or pickle fork"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
She Knew.

Little Nettie was learning to read
and part of her lesson ran thus: 1.-The
cat has a rat" Hugh" she ex-
claimed, "the man who wrote this
book didn't know much. Cats don't
have rats; they have kittens. Kan
sas City Star.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
Difficult Situation.

"Be as wise as serpent" we sug-
gested.
The distraught wife wept afresh.
of you but knew" she exclaimed,
"how extremely sensitive my husband
is to any impression even remotely
suggestive of serpents!"
Plainly, here was household
wherein peace could be restored only
by the exercise of the utmost tact
Detroit Journal.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
Clearly Defined,

Miss Olive (of st. Louis)-"Say,
cousin, what's a periphrasis?"
Miss Browning (of Boston)-"A
periphrasis is simply circumlocutory
cycle of oratoriacl sonorosity, circum-
scribing an infinitesimal ideality in
tered in verbal profundity."
Miss Olive-"Thanks. l thought it
was something like that. but l wasn't
quite sure
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
Power of Wealth in Society.

Power OF WeaIth IN SOcIety'
Lady Warwick has been discussing
the question of present-day society in
the pages of the Lady's Realm. She
lays stress on the capture of fashion
able London by what she calls the
merely rich" w. 81.
The birth of the new order is traced
to the death of the Prince Consort and
the Queens consequent withdrawal
from the capital and from social func-
tions. "Mammon," says Lady War
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
IT Depends.

THE New York Sun asks If man
with $4,000 income should play poker
with man whose income is 100000"
"Well. it seems to me it depends .
little on what kind of dealer he is
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
Another Syndicate.

Maude-"That is peculiar picture
YOU have in your locket."
~Clara-"Yes; it's composite photo
graph of my summer engagements"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28
PRIDE.

Ibid any of your ancestors come
over on the Mayfower?"
81 should say not! My ancestors had
money enough to pay their way on
boats run by steam!"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28

the latest quotation for chicken IL
Manila is.S1.25, and for beef beef SIS
a pound.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1900-09-28

Customer-"But where are the
holes?"
Dealer-"Holes, sir! What holes?"
Customer-"Why, any one who Is
donkey enough to pay $12 for this hat
is entitled to holes to let his ears stick
through"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08

A SPECIAL correspondent of the Baltimore
American, writing from Washington. says !:
"Great surprise is expressed in public circles
over the fact that Senator George L. yelling
ton has determined to turn traitor to the party
that took him up from obscurity and elevated
him to high places. Inquiry among party
leaders and those in touch with the party man.
agement develops the fact that in the future
Senator Wellington will be barred from all
caucuses Of Republican Senators and carefully
excluded from the counsels of the party, both
in and out of the Senate. While it has been
determined to take this action, thus branding
him for treason, the leaders do not believe
that his detection will have any perceptible
effect upon the result of this election. It is
generally recognized that the Senator's erratic
course has practically alienated him from
whatever following he formerly had"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08

THE NEW York Herald. paper which has
shown numerous signs of favor to Mr.. Bryan
and no particular friendliness to Mr.. McKin-
ley, sent one of its correspondents to call upon
Mr.. Bryan at Lincoln, Nebraska, to inquire of
him whether, if elected, he would make
payment in silver on all the Government
bonds that on their face. call for 'coin.'" To
the question he replied Say Mr.. Bryan de-
clines to be interviewed on that subject The
Herald says he lodged the question: and
has the following to say thereon: Although
he is now leaving the silver issue in the back
ground, there is no reason to believe that he
has changed his opinion on the vital question.
In view of the dangers pointed out by Secre-
tary Gage the people are entitled to straight
forward answer to the question put to Mr..
Bryan last night, and his evasion of ii must
detract from the claim made by his partisans
that he at least has the courage of his convic-
tions'n
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08

Hon. WILLIAM l.. WILSON, of Virginia,
who was PostmasterIGe in President
Cleveland's Cabinet, heartily approves of
President McKinley's foreign policy. In an
interview on Monday he said: 1.-THE action
of the United States in dealing with the diff
cult and delicate question comprised much
worthy of commentator and nothing for
criticism. The diplomatic course of the
United States alone of all the participating
powers has been open and statesmanlike and
above all suspicion of sel6shness. The ques-
ton of dealing with responsible Chinese
government and of securing an adequate in
demnity for injuries may somewhat delay the
withdrawal of our troops. This will be &C.
complished with patience and fair dealing.
The United States should not expect or de-
mand any concession of territory, and our
moral influence should be used to deter any
further dismemberment of the empire by
European governments. Peace having been
secured, commerce and modern civilization
will follow, and if the open door policy of
Secretary Hay be assented to by Japan and
the European powers growing and profitable
commerce will be developed"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08

The DEMOCRATIC apology for free silver is
that it is way down toward the tail of the
platform as though that were evidence that
they did not mean it, they are trying to fool
the country with falsehood, knowing it to
be such. If they do mean it, in the event Of
securing a Democratic House and Bryan's
election, they will not delay in commencing
to tinker with the tariff and trife with the
financial policy of the government.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08
Correspondence Baltimore County Union.
THE EMPLOYMENT OF TEACHERS
BELrAsr. BALTIC. COUNTY,. Sept. lth. 19O

Messrs. Editors II wish to say that heartily
approve of what THE UNION said last week in
regard to the employment of teachers who are
those who are. few days ago a teacher who
resides in Pennsylvania called upon me and re-
quested me to recommend the confirming of q
contract which he had obtained from School No.
Z, 9th district. This positively refused to do
l think it is treating our own teachers in q very
unjust manner to ignore their claims and APP
point teachers from other states and counties
and the city of Baltimore. So far as am con-
cerned wish to have it understood with the
trustees of my districts (the 9Th 9th and 8thD
that ] do not propose to appoint or recommend
any teachers who are not residents of Balti-
more county. JAMES B. ENsOR,
1Nr School Commissioner.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08

THE Outlook, weekly of high character
and absolute fairness, without political bias,
has this to say of the pending campaign:
-Four years ago The Outlook declared that it
was futile to attempt to defeat Mr.. Bryan by
- !. - .-...s -,,-,,o-N' =
M-- PEd6tis selfseeker, who is slowly Bhounce
iy consolidating his power by encroachment
upon the privileges of the people whom he
governs. These charges are SO grotesgue, in
view of Mr.. McKinley's Unknown character
as to be broadly humorous; they belong to
the illustrated newspapers, not to the domain
of public discussion. The fact of expansion
and the policy of expansion are realities which
are clear to every intelligent American but
the thing called Imperialism, about which SO
much is being said at present, is a thing of the
imagination; it has no reality, and for that
reason it has failed to make any wide impress
sion on the American people. Whatever may
be the faults of the American people, they
have an instinct for fact, and while they may
be often deluded, and sometimes for considera-
BILE periods of time, they are rarely perplexed
by specters."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08

THE PHILADELPHIA Record Topped toward
Bryan after his indianapolis speech, but flop
ped back after reading the Topeka acceptance,
remarking that Bryan was Populst in 1896,
and he remains Populist-the consistent ad-
vocate of cheap money and of all the visionary
socialistic schemes for the conversion of rep
resentative government into mob govern
ment." 1t is surprising that sound money
Democratic paper should have neededa second
lesson on this point
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08

OF THE election in Vermont this week the New
York World says that "the result this year
seems to show that about 5000 Democrats or
independents have again voted the Republican
ticket and about an equal number have moi
voted" The same paper adds, and the sug-
gestion deserves notice here in Maryland, par.
tisan ingenuity will, of course, figure out great
Democratic'gains in Vermont but it is best to
face the exact facts of the situation"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08

JUDGING FROM the following dispatch from
Kansas City, No.. the wheat crop of Kansas
this year must be something enormous: THE
extensive yards of the Santa Fe Railway Com
pany, in Argentine, are almost exclusively &C.
cupied with cars of wheat which it is impos-
sible to move. 1t was estimated that there
were twenty miles of wheat cars there. The
trouble is said to be due to the inability of the
Chicago division of the road to handle the
great influx of wheat from the various branch
lines in Kansas. The difficulty is not SO much
rom car famine as it is due to the lack of
notive-power to keep the lines cleared. All
tbe elevators are full, and the farmers are
ming wheat in big piles on the ground
the railroad stations"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08
Thomas J. Hunter, Attormey, 10,gso,., ND.

VXTILLIAM III. WHEELER, ASSIGNEE,
w rs. OLIVER COX, in he Circuit Court
for Bdlyinso7e County, ia Equity
ORDERED, by the Circuit Court for Balti-
more county, d TINS St5 day OF m l tnat
Wheeler. Assignee Trustee, for the sale of the
property described in the proceedings in the
unless cause to the contrary thereof be shown,
On or before the 1st day of October, 1900,
Provided copy of this order be inserted in
some newspaper printed and published in Balti
more county, once in each of three successive
weeks before the said LIST day of October, 1900
The report states the amount of sales to be
$930.00. N. BOSLEY MERRYMAN, Clerk.
True Copy-Test:
Sept. 8-4t.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08

IT is becoming evident that Mr.. Bryan does
not want much said about free silver before
the election. The American people, however,
are not so much concerned in what may be
said before election as in what will be done
after the election
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08

THE NATIONAL PARTY, new political Or
ganization, held convention in New York
city ON Wednesday and nominated Donelson
Caffrey. of Louisiana, for President, and Arch
ibald NJ. Howe, of Massachusetts, for Vice
President. A platform was adopted declaring
against both Mckinley and Bryan and affirm
ing the belief of the convention that all other
political parties are inadequate. The party is
pronounced as against imperialism, $50 called.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08

bridget DOUGHERTY EFT AL. rs.
ID ELLEN ROHE EFT AL, In the Circuit C0ust
for Baltimore County, in Equity.
ORDERED, by the Circuit Court for Baltimore
county, this 23d day of August, 1900. that the
sale made and reported by John f. Centrum,
Trustee, for the sale of the property described
in the proceedings in the above entitled cause,
be ratified and confirmed, unless cause to the
contrary thereof be shown.
On or before the 18th day of September, 1000,
Provided a copy of this order be inserted in some
newspaper printed and published In Baltimore
county. once in each of three successive weeks
before the said 18th day of September, 1900.
The report states the amount of sales to be
81, $4,000. N. BOSLEY MERRYMAN, Clerk.
True Copy-Test:
n. B0SLEY MERRYMAN, Clerk.
Aug. est.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08
.xTENsIyE PUBLIC SALE.
ID. Hopper Emory, Attorney, 225 st. HInJ
Street, Baltimore, Md.

CARAH j. CRIST EFT AL. US. GERTIE ".
y GERMAN EFT AL. in the Circuit coft for
baltimore County, In Equity. ~
ORDERED, by the Circuit Court for Bllti-
more county, this 9Th day of September. 1900 that
the sale made and reported by JamesH. Smith,
Trustee, for the sale of the property described
be ratified and confirmed unless ctuse to the
contrary thereof be shown, ~.
On or before the 1st day of October, 1900,
Provided copy of this order b. inserted in
some newspaper printed and published in Balti-
weeks before the said 1st day of October, 1900.
The report states the amOuntOf sales to be
$4,000. N. BOSLEY MERR YMAN, Clerk.
True Copy-Test:
N. BOsLEY MERRyMAN, Clerk.
Sept SIT.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1900-09-08

BRYAN is fond of pointing to the fact that
Lincoln always had great faith in the ''plain''
people, and therefore be trusts his cause to the
plain people. It should be:obseryed, how
ever that Lincoln never tried to fool" the
plain people.