davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1900-06-21
No Such Thought.

Mudge-Say, Yabsley, lend me ten.
will you?
Yabsley-Lend you ten? Do you take
me for National bank?
Mudge-Of course l don't. / couldn't
borrow SO from National bank IL L
were starving,-Indianapolis Press.
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1900-06-21
The Business Sense Uncertain.

"Do you believe that literary ability
is hereditary?'
"Yes but ability to wheedle pub
fishers frequently skips generation"
Chicago Record.
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1900-06-21
Conscientious Johnny.
wrote

Teacher (suspiciously)-Who wrote
your composition, Johnny?
Johnny-My father.
Teacher-What, all of it?
Johnny-No'm; helped him.-Truth-
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1900-06-21
The Condition of Affairs.

GLOW do you find your neighbors? r.
incurred one man of another who had
moved into new quarter of town
about a month before.
81 don't have to-" was the reply. 1t
takes all my talents to keep them from
finding me."-Detroit Free Press.
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1900-06-21
LoYal.

Don't you thin kthat poets later
work is very deficient"
"Well," answered the unwavering
admirer, she doesn't want to write
high-class stuff all the time. He's got
to do something to show his versatile
ity."
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1900-06-21
The Best Man.

The Innocent-Why is the BRIDE
grooms supporter called "the best
MANI"
The Cynic-Because he is still UNI
wed and has the best of it.
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1900-06-21
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
AnnIied Force.

"Ah," the lover sadly sighed,
.Life is drifting with the tide!'
Came her father softly there
One swift kick-a swish through airs
Drifting, do you say, young Teller?
Then let that be your propeller"
Chicago Times-Hera1d.
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1900-06-21
A Cold and Selfish Nature.

Office Boy-Please sir, can l get OFT
My granma's awful sick.
Lmployer-No, Jerry; I'm going to
the game myself Chicago Record.
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1900-06-21
PROMINENT PEOPLE.

BILL ARP, in Atlanta Constitution.
The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1900-06-21

Tomorrow is her birthday,
And how the folks would stare
If she should dine at Gainesville
And l should not be there"
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15
The Currency Question.


to the Asiatic drain that has so effect
TALLY absorbed the products Of the
silver mines of the world throughout
ali past ages.
Such Americans as can be affected
by the use of the term existing gold
standard so that they will relax their
opposition to the Vaccinations of tie
gold combination are indeed pitiable
creatures whose unfortunate mental
organization would permit their chill
dren and mankind to be crushed un-
der the blight Of law-enforced none
tary contraction more cruel and wick
ed than anything that ever entered
the hearts of man.
\ gold standard can only be had by
paying its price. The price of a gold
standard is a condition of slavery to
the money kings for all debtors, tax
payers and wealth producers and the
overthrow of popular government and
the arrest of advancing civilization.
Ii this is too high price to pay we
need not pay it. 1t is for the Amer
lean people now to consider whether
they are willing to pay the price. If
they are, they will find excuses and
apologies for the administration AM
continue in the ranks of the repub-
hcan party.
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15
COLLECTED IN ADVANCE.
intended Visitors to the Paris Expo
sition Are swindled by an
AdVenturer

1t is impossible to recall feats of
stealing unusual things without men,
tioning the theft of the red-bot stove
with which ''Old Hoss' Hoey delighted
his audiences many, many times. But
IN France is man who did the real
thing in theft, and of such an uncom-
mon kind that he deserves honorable
mention in the list of his betters He
stole an entire house, not a vestige of
which remains above the ground. This
was part of his scheme to swindle Wis
itors to the Paris exposition.
NJ. Declem began by renting a house
in the Rue de la Tombe-Issoire. an un-
finished street in a deserted corner of
Paris, only stones throw from the
catacombs. Having acquired an ad
dress, he issued circulars, in which he
invited visitors to the exposition of
19OO to secure rooms in advance in a
hotel which on paper was a model estab-
hshment. The hotel, the prospectus
stated, was in course of erection in one
of the most delightful avenues of the
capital, and when finished would sur
pass in comfort the most modern and
fashionable of hostelries. This "sump-
tuous establishment"-to quote the
pectus-would have every con-
ceivable convenience from hair dress
er to a post office, from a drug store
with constant medical attendance, to
darkrooms for developing photographs.
On its fiat roof, ''in the Italian STYLE"
were to be cafes, bars and lounges, and
theater on the premises would help
to while away an unoccupied evening.
The restaurant, too, was to be marvel.
Every local and foreign style of cookery
was to be practiced in its kitchens.
BY the simple process of paying in ad-
vance visitors could benefit by all these
conveniences at rates so low that hun
dreds of confiding pleasure seekers were
induced to put their hands into their
pockets at once. Money orders poured
in to NJ. Declem by every mail, and he
lived extremely well on the preliminary
profits of his imaginary hotel. He was
not, however, of a saving disposition,
and he was anxious to get big round
sum with which to undertake the jour
ney necessary 10 put MIN at saIe d1S-
tance from the credulous people he
had gulled.
To get the cash he sold the house he
had rented to buyer of old building
material, who promptly demolished the
edifice and carried away its fragments.
All that was left was a shed, which De-
elem rented to inventor anxious to
test a new heating apparatus. The in
ventor installed two machines on the
premises, to the delight of Declem, who
Immediately got loan on them. This
was his last exploit. His vistims
had learned of the sort of hotel accom-
modation for which they had paid in
advance. There were complaints to the
police, who, when they came to investi-
gate the matter found that Declem had
fled.-N. Y. Press.
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15

clusively devoted to the society news Of
the day. Finally Miss Gilt announced
that she had broken her engagement
with him. 1t was not surprise to the
other boarders. Two weeks later she
announced her engagement to Smith.
Brown did not seem to be very much
detected then.
"Curiously enough from that date his
name ceased to appear in any of the
lists of those present. Brown went to
the same old places, and he examined
the newspapers eagerly the next morn
ing, but his name was not used. He
sent anonymous notices to the papers,
and they were thrown into the waste
basket. Then he tried to make up with
Miss Gilt, but she wouldn't consider
him at all. l had no sympathy with
him. He had brought it on himself.
Miss Gilt became Mrs. Knickerbocker
Smith three months later, and her hus-
band brought her TO New York, where
her fortune supports them both COM
fortably. 1t took Brown two years to
recover from his social plunge, and he
does not know to this day how Smith
| toppled him over. Smith was eternally
grateful, and every Christmas he sends
me a substantial reminder of my be-
friending him. | am perfectly satis-
| fed with the case. 1t had demonstrated
my theory that an itch for notoriety
was disease with certain people, and I
have always considered it a case worthy
| of being preserved in medical annals
| n. Y. Sun.
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15

Of July IA, 1890, that are also legal
tender for private debts, making owe"
geo, 100000 of debt-paying money in
the United States independent of the
gold standard. In Germany the sill
yer coin is legal tender for all debts;
the same is true in France.
Thus it will be seen that although
the mints are closed to the further
coinage of silver, the silver coin of the
world still possesses debt-paying pow
er and is as effective money in all
transactions as gold itself. This is
very far from a gold standard in
which gold alone would be the sole
money of payment as is designed BY
the money kings of the earth, and as
is proposed by the monetary bill that
the administration is now forcing
through congress.
The present time is considered an
opportune one to force this measure
because of the existence of unusually
favorable conditions. Following 1896
came two years in which America was
blessed with bounteous crops that
were sold at famine prices abroad,
which had the effect in addition To
| liquidating the annual demand of for
| eigners against us for interest insur-
ance and transportation accounts, to
liouidate portion of our foreign in
debtedress and cause us to import in
stead of export that metal In addi-
ton to this the recent gold discoveries
in Alaska and the discovery of cyanide
of potash as factor in the extraction
of gold has added greatly to our stock
of that metal. Under these eXtraor-
dinary conditions, so favorable to the
United States, the money kings pro
claimed prosperity upon the gold
standard, the ''eNisting" gold stand
ard, when as a matter of fact they
know that the gold standard does net
''eXist," and are putting forth a siren
uous effort to force bill through con-
gress to wipe out the debt-paying
power of 900 100000 of legal tender
money and put the United States upon
gold standard.
Manufacturers, merchants, farmers,
| laborers, consider what this means.
The Slight prosperity we have as a re-
suit of the extraordinary conditions
| herein enumerated results from an in
crease in the money supply which has
stopped the downward trend of prices
and has given them an upward ten
dency. The relief thus furnished is
relied upon by the money kings to
divert cur attention from the impQr-
tance of this subject and afford them
an opportunity TO consummate their
| iniquity.
The passage of the bill proposed, b.
the United States, and the adoption
of similar meas ures by France and
| Germany would cause a contraction of
the currency that would more than
offset any prospective increase in gold
that may be looked for during the
next decade. in addition to this the
gold combination are diligently push
ing the work of extending the gold
ftsrdqrd into Asia, thus subjectipg il
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15
Followed the Crowd.

The innocent, unlimited guest does
not always escape so easily as did an
Indianapolis man. This man, being in
London on bright afternoon, saw
many well-dressed people going
through the iron gates opposite his
boarding house. Accordingly, he
dressed up" and joined the process
sion He found himself inside a park,
and sat on the seats and enjoyed the
music. A young lady came and gave
him a cup of tea and he had q good
time generally. The next day at the
table some one asked what was going
on across the way the day before.
Mrs. Humphrey Ward gave large
garden party" said the landlady.-In-
CianaDOliS Sentinel
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15
And the Professor Ate 1t.

A professor of invertebrate zoology.
wishing to procure some trichinous
pork for purposes of experiment, went
to his butcher and asked him if he
ever got any measly pork.
Sometimes" the butcher cautious
ly answered, "but 1 always throw it
away"
WELL said the professor, ''the next
time you have any l wish you'd send
ne up some," meaning, of course, to
his laboratory.
The butcher, although somewhat
taken aback, said that he would.
Three weeks passed, when the pro-
fessor, growing impatient, again Wis
tied the store.
Haven't you found any measly
pork yet?''
'Why, yes," said the butcher, 81
sent up two pounds week ago"
A sicllly grin broke over the pro-
fessor's face. "Where did you send
it?"
"Why, to your house, of course" :"
said the butcher.-Argonaut.
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15
MISLEADING.
A False Note in the Argument in Pa,
half of the "Existing' Geld
Standard,

The money kings who contributed
SO lavishly to secure the election of
Mckinley have foreclosed their mort
gage upon his administration and pro-
pose to force legislation to establish
a gold standard. To make it appear
that their movement is not revolutions
ary they roll under their tongues.
with great JUNCTION, the term "exist-
ing" gold standard, thus seeking to
create an impression that the pro-
posed measure is an innocent one. pro-
posing 10 violence to existing values
of business conditions. If, saws the
National Waterman, the gold stand
ard existed at this time, in the sense
that the money kings want it to exist,
and intend to have it exist as the re-
suit of the measure they are now
forcing, they would possess their souls
iii peace, but the fact is that a gold
standard, in the sense in which they
intend to have it, does not exist in
this country or in any other, except
England alone, where gold is the sole
legal tender for all sums above 40
shillings. In the United States there
are 563,OOO,00O standard silver dollars
that possess the power to liquidate all
debts, public and private, except
otherwise expressly stipulated in the
contract. In addition to this there
ale 100000 of United States notes
OF greenbacks that are legal tender
for all private debts, and 100000 of
treasury notes issued under the act
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15
why "Bob" Burdette Is Not Chaplain.

Robert j. Burdette, fatter and more
joyous than ever, came east from his
California home the other day, deliv-
ering lectures along the way, and
ending with visit to his son, who is
attending one of the eastern colleges,
and who has some of his fathers gifts
in literature. Mr.. Burdette is thor
oughly attached to Pasadena, and
speaks of it in glowing terms. He is
pastor of a church there, and says he
greatly enjoys his work. While in
Philadelphia he received a letter
from the governor of California say
ing that he had his commission ready
as chaplain in one of the regiments,
and was very anxious to know
whether he would accept the place
"Of course you will take it ?" friend
asked. "Well, don't know" was his
response. "It all depends. Just now
1 am waiting for the war to close."-
Saturday Evening Post.
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15
OXEN OF THE TAGALS.
The CarabaO, or Waer Buffalo, Is the
Common Draft Animal of the
Philippines.

Among the strangest of these objects
in the Philippines which make one feel
that he is in foreign land is the cara
bao pronounced cah-rah- -bah-o), or wa
ter buffalo. AS the horses are very
small, the carabao is the draft animal
of the islands, and large numbers are
to be seen always and everywhere; in
the heart of Manila numbering along
the crowded streets to heavily loaded
carts; in the country splashing through
the flooded rice fields to the little one
handed plows, or drawing carts and
sleds along the highways. These carts,
drawn by single carabaos, are the chief
means of transportation on the islands,
and by them the supplies must be fur
nished to the troops at the front.
The name carabao is Filipino word,
which the American often corrupts into
caribou, but the carabao resembles
neither the American caribou nor the
American bison, which latter is not
true buffalo, while the carabao is. 1t
is large, heavy-set animal with
mouse-colored skin sparsely covered
with hair of the same color. 1t has no
hump on its shoulders, but carrying the
head so low makes the withers proni-
nent. The big black horns are long and
spreading and directed backward; in
some cases, however, spreading but lit
tie, perhaps survival of the wild state,
when the beast had to make its way
through thick underbrush.
They were formerly in the wild state
on the islands, and it is said that they
are still to be found wild in Mindanao,
in which state they are very formidable
animal. They are thoroughly domesti-
Gated, and are very gentle, though they
sometimes become stubborn, especially
when in sight of a pool Of water, for
they are exceedingly fond of wallowing
in water, submerging themselves until
only the eyes and nose are visible. The
natives work them singly, controlling
them by means of rope through the
nose.
The meat is very tough and of in
ferior quality. They give but little
milk.-St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15
Long Tenure Of Office.

1t is doubtful whether any institu-
ton in the world has such a record for
long tenure OF office on the part of
those directing it as has the Green
0lch observatory. That institution
was established in 1915, and in the 224
years Of its existence it has had just
eight directors, whose average terms
If office have been 2S years. The Har-
ward observatory has been established
&C wears. and has had but four di
rectors. The naval observatory in the
district. however, has in the 33 years
Of its existence had ten directors, ow
ing to the custom of detailing naval
officers in that duty ior a term of
three years each. This constant
change of directors, it has been
claimed, is responsible to large ex-
tent for the lack of continuity in the
work Of the naval observatory and its
consequent failure to meet the re-
quirements of a great national observ-
atory. although more money is spent
for its maintenance than for any other
like institution in the world.-Wash-
ington Star.
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15

the United States would be ahead $780,
100000 annual income on foreign loans.
Then were the government to open
its mints to the free coinage of silver,
with gold demonetized, without the
concurrent action of other nations at
the ratio of sixteen to one, every ounce
of silver in the commercial world would
90 to par within "a hours. Silver would
not come to our mints unless the rate
of interest exceed the current rate pre-
vailing abroad.
Then instead of $60,000,000 income on
foreign investments we would have so
per cent. more from a rise in the price
of silver to the extent of perhaps $780,
C00,000. This sum indicates the appar-
ent losses we are sustaining annually
from the utterly useless gold redemp-
ton feature of treasury financiering. l
said apparent losses. That is not all.
The interest charge of the 81 900, ,O00,0
Yields to investors $30,0000C0 more,
which could all be saved. Besides this
foreign income of $9O,OCO, 600 and do
mestic saving of $30G00000 annually
paid on the public debt, we could come
to the aid of Great Britain in her finan-
cial distress and incidentally promote
cur own industrial and financial we'll
being.
Each silver dollar would be as valu-
able in interest drawing as one dollar
in gold. Then why should owners of
silver bullion sell for 100 cents to loan
what they could send to the mint and
get 200 cents, and make 12, instead of
6, per cent by the transaction?
Would this not practically compel
the creditors themselves to bid with
the debtors for silver against the man
ufacture of plate and jewelry? Then
how could silver 60 below par?-Chi-
cago Inter Ocean.
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15
a UNIVERSAL CONSIDERATION

when the day is dull and busy and the air
is full of noise
We dream of prospects fair and far away,
Some place where all the sweetness and
the blooming never clogs
And the silent hours go drifting day by
day.
But voice-'tis more like conscience
speaks In most emphatic tone
And wakens US anew to discontents.
1t interrupts the dreaming and bids all our
hopes be flown
With How about the dollars and the
cents?'
oh. the king sat sadly musing of the won
drous good he'd do
When he somehow got his royal way at
last
And the jester vowed he'd wear a garb
which all the world would view
With deep respect. The motley far he'd
cast.
And the tradesman said he'd be a man of
fine and studious mfen,
And the scholar said he'd follow chosen
bents:
But they all were set to plodding through
the old familiar scene
By How about the dollars and the cents 2"
Washington Star.
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15
among the first nighter's as ]. Fred

among the first nighter's as ]. Fred
Brown. Miss Gilt's name was omitted.
Brown patronized her bit the follow
ing night. He was also rather super
cilious with the rest of US, and he hint
ed that his social engagements might
Interfere with his being present at dim
ner many nights during the season.
Smith then settled down to work in
earnest. He not only printed Browns
name among the list of those present at
all first nights, but he introduced it in
gatherings where j. Fred Brown was
unknown. Brown got extravagant. He
never missed an opening night. He
went to all semipublic dinners when he
was permitted to buy tickets. One
night he came down to dinner so
naughty that he could hardly notice
Miss Gilt. Smith explained it later. In
return for favor which he had been
able to do for woman she had sent
an invitation to J. Fred Brown for the
opening reception Of her big house.
She never had heard of the man before,
but she was on the outer fringe of So
ciety, and she was quite willing to enter
tain him. Brown spoke of the invita-
ton casually at the table, and said that
the hostess was an old friend who was
very ambitious socially. He supposed
that he would be bored to death, but he
felt it a duty to go. / happen to know
that he bought new frock coat for the
occasion, and that he was so excited
about it that he never went near his Of
flee that day. He was neglecting his
practice, and he was spending lots of
money on clothes. He was not quite so
attentive to Miss Gilt. This reception
gave him an opportunity to meet other
people who entertained. His name had
been printed so frequently that winter
that these people had vague idea that
he was a social swell and some of them
invited him to call, and others invited
him to receptions. j. Fred Brown was
now socially launched and c. Knicker-
booker Smith worked like beaver to
keep Browns name before the public.
1t appeared in every list of fashionable
names, and if Brown had gone to one
quarter of the places where the news
papers reported him to be, he would
have broken down.
Brown took all this notice from the
papers as his due. He joined two Sec
ondrate clubs. He even gave a little
dinner at the best restaurant in town,
and, thanks to Smith, all the details APP
peared in the next mornings papers.
The game was very interesting. Brown
was neglecting his practice, and he was
attending every affair that might tempt
the papers to print his name. He kept
all these notices in a scrap book. The
more conspicuous he became the less
devoted he was to Miss Gilt. The man
was badly afflicted with what l have
diagnosed as newspaper mania. had
observed it in other people, and 1 felt
a proprietary interest in Browns case.
Brown had it badly. He snubbed Miss
Gilt two or three times before the other
boarders, and she didn't like it.
Browns conversation was almost ex-
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15
TWO Made One.

Stubb-That is lazy tenant Grafton
has on his farm. Grafton told him to
put up two signs, one Beware CT the
Dog" and the other Beware Of the
Bull
Penn-Did the tenant obey the or
der?
Stubb-Not exactly. lie painted only
ore sign, and when Grafton went out
there he was astopished TO see Be
ware of the Bulldog."-N. y World.
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15
A FaCer.

AT children's charity entertain
ment collection was being taken up
and a little girl of six offered the
plate to wealthy man we'll known
for his parsimony. 81 have nothing
to give" was his surly response.
''Then take out something" said the
little miss. 'We are collecting for
the poor."-Kansas City Star.
The Winslow mail., 1900-03-15
Rusiness Acumen.

Old Hardcash-Isve decided to take young
Sharpleigh into business with me as soon
as he and my daughter get back from their
honeymoon.
Bullion Bonds-But thought you saw no
good in the fellow?
Il didn't at first, but I've changed my
mind [ told him he couldn't have my
daughter till he had at least $1,000 in the
bank. He got me to put it in writing and
then went out and borrowed the FL 900 on
the, strength of becoming my son-in-law.
Such business ability as that mustn't be al
lowed to go to waste. ."-Tt-Bits.