davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
The Tnmnhuc or Tomnhnw,s

Tanahac eventually came to desig-
nate the war hatchct" of the Indian
supplied by the military commanders
of the whole continent in equipping the
warriors on the many expeditions in
which French and English were con
stantly engaged, and was furnished
the Indian allies of the English in our
war of independence.
This weapon was either In the form
of spear or hatchet blade on one side,
while upon the opposite side there was
a cuplilie cavity, with small hole OK
tending into the eye of the weapon, in.
to which n tough handle of wood was
fitted IS inches or two feet In length.
The handle was perforated almost its
entire length, and below the hollow of
the bowl it was bored at right angles
to this perforation. a suitable stcmholc
for the passage of the tobacco smoke
when the implement was in use as a
pipe.
The tomahawk pipe was not only at
tractivc and popular in trade, but, like.
the earlier trade pipe, was given as q
present at councils and ratilications of
treaties. 1t was pipe, hatchct AND
q mace or hammer all in one and mn.
swered an important military require.
mcnt in lcssening the weight ard in.
cumbrancc of the warrior, who other.
wise would have tcnaciously lssld to
the stone pipe, which in itself was
heavier than the tomallawk. - Smith
sonian Institution Report.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
Cards ON the Cars.

Cards nre not played as much on
the cars as they used to be-" said the
commercial traveller. "a few years
ago it was Il common sight to see three
or four games, whist, euchre, poker or
seven up, going on in car, and wher.
ever four or five drummers were gath
cred together there was sure to be a
lively game of draw in progress. Sub
urban trains We're turned into whist
clubs, and morning and night the COM
muters We're engaged in rubber.
but all this has been changed. Now.
ndays it is the hardest thing in the
world to get upa game of any kind in
train. Ask Il stranger if he would like
to take 4 hand at whist or euchre, and
he will freeze you with q suspicious
look. And, what is worse, he is entire-
ly justified in his suspicious.
I'm the last ten years the railroads of
this country have been the harvest for
gamblers, bunko men and short card
experts. They have worked the field to
the limit, from New York to California
and from Vermont to Florida. They
have worked all kinds of flimtiam
games, until now 1t is almost impossi-
bic for n man to flash deck of cards
In the smoking compartment of a Pull
man without the atmosphere growing
dozen degrees colder. "A man who has
been bitten once doesn't care to have
the experience ated."-Pochester
PoSt-ExpresS.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
s,yinll,nr n HANK

few years ago IL we'll dressed man
presented himself ut Il certain national
bank and laid down a check for SO, 600.
1t was signed by a we'll known whole
sale whisky house, and upon the back
We're the words. Identification waiv-
cd" AT the same time we'll dressed
man entered the office of live stock
firm at the stockyards and asked if he
could wait in the Office, as he expected
telephone message. lie was told that
he could, and he took q seat near the
telephone.
Down in the bank the paying teller
was asking who the holder Of tho
check knew. He said not many firms,
us he was stock dealer, but if the tell
CT would call up Mr.. Smith of Jones 4
Smith, the we'll known brokers Mt the
stockyards, lie would find out that he
was all right. The teller called for the
plumber, and when the ring answered
he asked for Smith. The man on the
end said he was Smith, and he at once
gave Brown, the holder, the amount of
the check.
When 1t was discovered that the
check was n forgery. there was an aw-
full kick, as Smith said Brown was as
good as gold. Smith declared that he
had talked TO no one, and the result
was an argument between Smith and
the bank teller. No one knew about
the accomplice answering the phone,
and the result was that Smith took his
account from the bank, and no one
ever know who it was who answered
the tclephone.-C Cincinnati Enquirer.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
In New York. New Rich society

A salient feature of the reign of the
new rich is the habit of estimating a
mans success in life solely by the mon-
ey he has acquired. There are gather-
ings Of society in New York where IL
the question were asked about fellow
citizen, "Has he been successfulW the
answer would be in the negative had
the person inquired about not accumu-
lated wealth. No matter whether he
had served his country as soldier,
statesman or philanthWpist, had led
the youth Of his generation as college
president, had been an educator of the
people in school or pulpit, had achieved
wide renown as a jurist, had written a
great book. had held multitudes cn-
thralled by his poetry, had painted no.
BILE pictures. had advanced science or
surgery, had created n leading news
paper or magazine! Nothing of all this
tells. lie is not Success" because lie
has not piled up dollars to faunt in the
worlds facet Saturday Evening Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
Vampires Not Dlood.ucker..

Mr.. James Rhen, who Is engaged in n
special study of bats, says that it is a
fallacy that the vampire is blood
sucker. Travellers and story writers
are responsible for the story of the ter.
rible bloodsucking vampire bats of
South America. Nearly all general
writer's on this subject agree with
them as to its criminal record, and they
all concur in laying the blame on q
large grotesque looking bat With an
enormous leaf nose, the Vampyrus
spectrum. This bat is common In
South and Central America and, from
his great size, being about two feet
across the outspread wings. is n sug-
gestive and repulsive enough object TO
impute the blood loving habit to.
AS matter of fact, this is some
what useful animal and is totally inno-
cent of these charge, the bloodsuck-
ers being two much smaller and rarer
bats. The front teeth Of these two lat
ter are enormous lancets occupying
over half the tooth row Of the animals
and possessing very sharp edges, which
can easily penetrate the human skin.
The teeth Of the big vampire on the
other hand are simply adapted for a
diet of insects and fruit. The true
bloodsucking bats are much rarcr than
the vampire.-Philadelp Record.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
Mr.. Aliaferro TalI.f.rro.

i suppose" said n government clerk
to the man across the table, "that vol
have heard of the Virginia family of
Derby which spells Its name En-
roughly, as well as the Chumleys
of England, but came across one the
other day that I'll bet hat you never
heard Of. The subject Of the sketch
was Virginian or claimed that he
was, and he was so youthful and un-
sophisticated that guess he was tell
ing the truth. Children and fools, you
know, have weakness in that regard.
Il met the young fellow on train
between Richmond and Petersburg,
and we struck up quite an acquaint,
ance. He told me his name was Tolli-
ver-Olivcr Tolliver-and l very natu.
rally asked him If he spelled his name
as did the famous f. f. v. Taliaferros,
and he said lie did and seemed to be
proud Of it. was rather proud to be
friendly with one Of the name mysel!
and made myself extra agreeable
when he left me at way station
and bade me goodby, he rendered ME
his card and told me he hoped would
not forget him. didn't look at the
card till he had gone, and, would you
believe 1t, the young fellow had his
name spelled to match, as 1t were, and
1t appeared thus, Mr.. Aliaferro Talia.
ferro,' which, in my humble opinion,
was getting Oliver Tolliver down pret.
ty fine. Don't you think SO tooY'-
Washington Star
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
An Enpllshman,. Manners.

Note, as has long been noted, that
the only manners the Englishman cares
nboat are what our country cousins
call stablc manners" He can Law cnor-
nous stress upon these without SEEM
Ing TO thaw out, for they really cx.
press nothing, and meticulous nicety
In tho forms Of eating and drinking
plcases his innate sense of refinement
and chimes in with his dislike for maxi
ing mess. Yet n certain Frenchman
may not have been far wrong, after all.
In saying that 1.-The English would sure
~ not frown so upon mans moppinc
up sauce with piece of bread IL they
themselves had ever had any sauce
worth mopp!ng up" 1t may be that
the EnSlishman's perfection of deport-
ment mt meals comes in part from n
lnck of temptation to do otherwise.
But the truth is none the less apparent
that the complicated conventions re-
earulng what to do and what to avoid
at table that obtain in England do
not IN any way involve that outward
espressivencss which the Englisbman
abhors, He can obey them without
prejudice to his impassivity. And this
cult of impassivcness, of self rcprcs-
Zion, Is essentially Spartan-that of the
6aYaEc.-Scribnpr'S
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
cut TheIr Sentence. shor,

Many people in every walk of life.
and particularly travelling men, seem
to have u craze for abbrevlation. On
almost every page of the hotel register
may be found some unique freak. of
abbrcviation.
Two Authorizations that have been
noticed are "N. o." and ~. o." Any
where but in the residence column Of a
hotel register they would be very puz-
zling. or course it is easy to under
stand that the 90" means Ohio, and as
there is but one town in that state that
begins with ~" GAINESVILLE, and but
one the name of which begins with
"X." Nenia. 1t is easy to understand
the abbreviations. and they save lot
Of time and ink.
"11wortll" is not so easy to under
stand perhaps, but when "Kansas" is
written after it is easier. Another
puzzling abbreviation is 40" but
when 1T is chattanooga. TO-" it is not
hard to read. Columbus is usually
written Coils" and Chicago ego"
The final "h" in the old fashioned way
Of spelling Pittsburg. which has been
almost entirely dropped elsewhere, is
usually used in the abbreviation which
most Pittsburlers write ('Pgh.' y nowo.
[ays.-Chicago Chronicle.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
The coloncl,s Ro,nanca.

Colonel" said the romantic girl,
Stell INC how you got that scar upon
your left check. Oh, just know it
must be a thrilling story. Was it made
by a bullet or saber thrust? prefer
q saber thrust. IL seems SO much more
like the knighthood of old. You can't
soc bullet coming, and there is no
way to escape it or combat it, but when
your enemy rushcs ut you with his up.
lifted s:lbcI there is the possibility Of
pallYing his blow ana cutting him
down. That seems much more manly.
even IL the victor in the fray does re-
ceivc wound or two, than to just be
laid low or TO ky the enemy low by
bullet that cannot bc secn There is
no bravery in shooting a man, but
there is something lSGlghtly in meeting
another face to face With sword.
Your SCAR looks like cne that was left
BY glearnins blade, and I'lsnow that
your enemy must at least have been
rendered hors &c combat Tell me all
about Ii. colonel-wicn 1t happened
and how. am SO interested In wu,
storics."
"Yes." he replied. 81 agree with you
fully about the sword and saber bust
ness. There isn't much bravery iN
shooting a follow, and there is some
thing knightly about standing up and
thrusting and parrying With blade.
But got this wound while acting us
IN innocent bsstander at a Chicago
strike riot. 1t was a brick. Chicago
Times Herald.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
NO. IL
All About a signuturc.

Tellers and clerks of savings banks
have a rare opportunity to study llu-
man nature. All sorts of people, with
many strange notions of the methods
md purposes of banks, come before
them. A teller of Boston savings
bank tells true story of good Irish
woman who came to the bank to open
nn account.
"Please write your name on that
line" said the official, pushing toward
the woman Il book and pen.
'Do ycz want me first name?' she
asked, taking the pen in her hand.
Eyes, your full name and middle
initial If You have any,"
''Do yez want me husbands namey'
'Ies, his last name, but your own
FIRST name"
"Oh, me name before was mar
ried?"
"No, your given name-Ellen or
Bridget
"sure. then. me name is naythcr
wan o. them!''
''Well, what is it then?"
"Sure, it's Mary"
Every we'll. There are others wait
Ing for you. SO please hurry and wri e
your nalne."
"Ah, sure, do yez want the 'Nlrs.?'"
mo, never mind that. Now go
ahead"
"Ah, sure, mister, would, honest,
but We see I can't e!"-Youth's
Companion.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
A Gift Not Annreciate,.

Two well known clubmen were stroll.
Ing along Chestnut street the other aft.
ernoon when young fellow of rather
sporty attire stopped them and at.
tempted to borrow SO. "I've got to
have it tonight, and I'll give 1t back to
you tomorrow" he said.
The man addressed looked dubious,
and his friend. who was not acquaint-
ed with the would be borrower, moved
away, apparently to be out of earshot
of the conversation.
II don't think l can lend you the
money today" said the clubman.
"Come on, there's a good fellow
coaXed the other. you'll get it back
tomorrow, sure"
mo; i won't lend 1t to you," was the
ieply, "but I'll tell you what will do.
II you're SO devilish hard up, I'll give
you So"
call right; give it to me-" was the
Wblushing rejoinder.
you've got it already" said the
csNbman. "Do you remember the five
you borrowed from me three months
ago? Well, don't bother about paying
thAt back. Nice dny, isn't 1t? So
long!" Then he rejoined his friend
"Io the last two years that fellow has
borrowed $50 from me at various
times" he Philadelphia Record.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
A Lake Tint Eat. Bont..


A strange lake exist. in the center Of
Sulphur island OFF New Zealand. 1t is
80 acres in extent. about II feet in
depth and 15 feet above the level of the
sea.
The most remarkable characteristic
of this lake is that the water contains
vast quantities of hydrochloric and sui
phuric acids kissing ard bubblng at q
temperature of ITO degrees Il.
The dark green colored water looks
particularly uninviting. Dense clouds
of sulphuric fumes constantly roll off
this boiling caldron, and care has to be
exercised in approaching this lake to
avoid the risk of suffocation. On the
opposite side of the lake may be seen
the tremendous blowholes, which,
when In full blast, present an awe in
spring sight.
The roar of the steam as it rushes
forth into the mir Is deafening, and
often huge powders and stones are
hurled out to n height of several hun-
dred feet by the various internal forces
of nature.
A boat can be launched on the lake,
and II proper care be observed the very
edges of the blowholcs may be safely
explored.
Some idea of the strength Of the acid
saturated water of this lake may b,
gathered from the fact that boat al
most dropped to pieces after all the
passengers had been landed, as the
rivets had corroded under the influence
Of the acids.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
The Origin of rhmni, PARK

The origin of the name of Phoenix
park has puzzled many scllolars unac.
quainted with the Irish language. The
manor was called in the Irish vernacu.
lar Flonn-uisge pronounced flnnisIsc,
which signifies clear or fair water, and
winch, artlculated in the brief English
manner, exactly resembled the word
paGnix. The spring or well so called
from which the park derives its
name still exists close to the Dublin en-.
trance of the viccregal lodge. 1t il
situated in glen beside the lower
lake and is one of the romantic objects
Of the park London News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06

Very few soldiers who have seen
much service escape what Is called
battle heart
The ordinary state Of the heart III
healthy people is one Of irrltability,
but in the soldier of five or six years
service the irritability is so great that
T. constantly affects his temper.
The soldier wears such tight clothing
that his heart has not room to beat
freely, and the perpetual struggle to
do its work under difficulties injuries
1t. The soldiers trousers are tight at
the waist. His coat Is buttoned as
tightly as possible and very often he
squceZes himself With belt.
Then when OH the march his chest
Is compressed by the weight of his
knapsack, cantccn, great coat and
heavy cartridge belt.
If you watch q company of soldiers
when they are doing a long march,
you will observe that most Of them
have flushed faces. red ears, red noses,
swollen necks-showing that the heart
Is greatly ovcrtaNed. Some, on the
OlACi l1tiAiSl, Ale Jillc, WHICH proves lusll
their hearts are not equal to the work
thrown on them.
When. after very long march, tho
men have to deploy into fighting order,
and perhaps rush n hill. very large
number break down altogether. Their
overstrained hearts never become
really strong and healthy again
AnSArn1.c
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
The Tramp's Advice,

She was standing on the front porch
reading the story paper, which had
just come in the mail.
Madam" said Mcandering Mike
"did | see you brush away tear jes'
now!"
"s'posin 1 did," she returned. "Its
no business Of yours"
II spoke in kindness, lady. You amt
treatin yerself right to cry an read
both Mt once. It's double strain on
yer eyes, an you might rs well listen
to my hard luck stories an save yer
eyes exclusively fur de wecps. If you
likes touchin stories, lady, here's yer
chance to have 'cm brought to yer
door, an you needn't pay 50 n years
subscription in advance, neither. It's
de chance OF yer life, lady, to trade off
cold victuals for pathos. ."-Washington
Star.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
He Saved the Bridge.

'At uarpers Ferry on one occasion
the flood in the Potomac was so great
that it threatened the destruction of
the costly railroad bridge, which was
seen to shake in Its unsteadiness," said
former Governor Thomas G. Jones.
when everybody present was looking
each moment to see the bridge go
down, President John w. Garrett OF
the Baltimore and Ohio railroad arriv-
ed upon the scene. Approaching the
necessity of instant action, he gave an
abrupt order for loaded train of
freight cars standing on side track to
be run with the locomotive on to the
bridge and kept there.
But, Mr.. Garrett, that Is train
load of silk said the local superintend-
ent.
81 don't care; run out the cars!
commanded the great master Of rail-
roads. 1T would be easier to pay for
the silk than to build new BRIDGE
''The silk train was run on to the
bridge, and the structure was saved.
The silk was being sent by rail across
the continent from San Francisco, Mt
which port 1t had been received from
China and japan. Garrett was a great
man, one of the greatest Of those who
have aided in the material development
of America. In emergencies he was
very resourceful, as was demonstrated
IN perhaps n small way by the Har-
pers Ferry incident" Birmingham
Age-Herald
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
The NIixfnIe

"Thc other day" said Jones, can old
woman bounced into our office, display
ing notice that we had written to
her to the effect that a quarter tax on
some property of hers was due. She
sworc she had paid it. had the books
to prove that she had not and suggest
ed that she had made mistake.
She declared that she had not and
said, Don't you ever make any mis-
takesY
II assured her that did not and
joliingly added:
The only mistake ever made was
when l was married.
"She looked at me second and then
said: No; Your wife made that mis-
take '"-Detroit Free Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
A Dlnner Of Mule and A.,e cr.....

a OAhn0e Oh Mule and Axle Grease.
The following is an incident of the
siege Of Ladysmith narrated by Sir
William MacCormac: "An officer re.
lated an incident which will serve to
illustrate the lengths to which things
had gone as regards food. A shell fell
into the mule lines one afternoon, kill
Ing one mule. In spite of other shells
following the first one in rapid success.
sion, SO as to make occupation of the
spot very dangerous, the men in the
vicinity made a rush at the mule like
90 many ravenous creatures, cutting OF
the flesh With their clasp knives in
great chunks. They then in safer quar-.
ters built fires, toasted the meat and
swallowed it ut once. To make them
more palatable the men fried their bis.
cults In the axle grease provided for
the carts. The want Of fatty foods
and vegetables was greatly felt. In
spite Of all their hardships nobody ever
thought Of giving in. The general in
quired as to how many horses in the
camp could carry their riders six miles,
In view Of sortie being made, and the
answer came back that only 12 horses
in the whole camp could do it."-Lon.
don Lancet.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
shoppin. In Scotland.

1t has been said that the Scottish
dialect is peculiarly powerful in Its
use Of vowcls. and the following dja.
logue between a shopman and Gus.
toner has been given as speci.
men. The conversation relates to q
plaid hanging at the shop door:
Customer QnquiriDg the materially :
Oo7 (wool0
Shopman-ay, 90 yes, of wooD.
Customcr-A' 90? (all woolD
Shopman-Ay, a 90 Eyes, all WOOD.
Customer-A' ae 90? (all same wool? p
Shopman-Ay. a ne 90 Eyes. all same
wooD.-London Telegraph.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
Why So Many Young, Men Fan.

cone trouble with many young men
Who start out in business is they try to
do too many things at once," says Het-
ty Green. The result is that they
don't know as much as they ought to
about any one thing, and they natural
ly fail. The trouble With young men
who work on salaries is that they're
always afraid of doing more than
they're paid for. They don't enter into
their work with the right spirit. To
get on and be appreciated young man
must do more than he's paid to do.
When he does something that his en-
ployer has not thought of, he shows
that he is valuable. Men are always
willing to pay good salaries to people
who will think of things for them.
The man who only carries out the
thoughts and ideas of another is moth
ing more than a mere tool Men who
can be relied upon are always in de-
mand. The scarcest thing in the world
today is thoroughly reliable man."
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-09-06
Peace Mt Any Price

Two old Indies were next to each 9th
or In station bus. One of them wish
ed to have the window shut. the other
TO have 1t open; the conductor was cali
ed to decide the question. One said IL
1t were open she would catch cold and
die; the other said il it were shut she
would die Of apoplexy.
The conductor did not know what to
do, when an old man. who had been
sitting quiet in corner, said:
"Open the window, friend; that will
hill one of them. Then shut it, and we
shall be rid of the other and have
some peace"-London Answers.