The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-08-31
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Gay i was there for While.' Did
you enjoy it?' "Knot holey."
"Why did the police let that scorchcr
go?' lie proved that he was taking
Il brick of ice cream home to his wife,"
Chicago Record.
isn't it delightful to be dining to-
gether without a chaperon?' Il should
say so! Marriage is certainly a great
economy" -Puck.
Cora-lIoW do you know that is Il
bargain-counter bathing-suit she is
wearing? Merritt-By the way it is cut
DOWNTOWN Topics.
Passing boasts: Gotham maid-We
have the best-dressed man. Chicago
maid--Oh. we'll, we have the best-dress-
ed beef-Chicago News.
Mrs. Winterbloom-Did you find the
mountain air Intoxicating? Jagway-
Very; didn't draw a sober breath
while | was there.-Detroit Free Press.
My wife," he said, proudly, 'has
been known as the queen of hearts,"
NO doubt they answered: 1T was be-
cause she took the e."-Chicayo
Post.
He--1our left arm is wonderfully de-
veloped. Miss Allstyle. Do you go in
for athletics? She-Oh not at all. That
is the arm lift my skirt witll.-Chicago
Artist-iou don't seem pleased with
your portrait as Il summer girl SUM
mer girl-No; you've made my shirt
waist stripes run the wrong Way.--ln-
dianapolis Journal.
"Shall l sing Because l Love You'?"
asked Mrs. barley, rs she seated her.
self at the piano. NO." replied Mr..
barley, who is a brute; IF you love me.
don't g."-Tit-Bits.
"Flossy is so superstitious." She is:'
"NeS; when she wears her death s-heau
hatpln she always wears her horseshoe
scarf-pin and her wish bone hair orna-
ment. '-lndianapolis Journal.
Little Elmer-Papa, what is poll
tician? Prof. Broadhead-A politician,
my son, is a man who hungers and
thirSts to sacrifice himself for his coun-
try in times OF peace.-Puck.
Magistrate-You are charged with
talking back to IN officer, sir; have you
anything to say? Prisoner-Dayvil Il
ward, yer honor-Oi've sed too mooch
alreddy.-Ohio State Journal
Jess-ls she really so awfully home
ly? Tess-Well, should say. The girls
who graduated with her wouldn't al
low her to figure in the composite pho
tograph OF the class.-Philadelphi
Press
Wife-Iou can go to the club tonight
if you feel like it, dear. Husband--I do
feel like it, but shan't 60 Wife-Why
not? Observation-Disclosures l intend to
have my own way for once.-Fliegende
Blactter.
What did Freddy say when You
ca'1ght him coming out of the pantry
with his hands stained red?' "He told
the truth by saying that he had damned
his fingers. "-Philadclphia Evening
Bulletin.
His daily duty: "And they say you
drove the rich man to drink?' Yes,
sir, but l couldn't help it," "Couldn't
help it! What do you mean:" He
made me, sir. l was his coachlnau.'-
Harlem Life.
The Palmist-This line in your hand
indicates that you have a very brilliant
future ahead of you---- Simkins--Is
that so? The Palmist-Yes, but this
other line indicates that you are too
slow to ever catch up with it.-Chicago
News.
Retort courteous: 81 see the villain
in your face,' said the gruff lawyer
who was trying to intimidate 4 witness.
VERY likely" was the calm reply; the
face of 4 bright person, like Il mirror,
is apt to cast personal !et1tctions."-
Chicago News.
Teacher-Johll. what are your boots
made Of? Boy-Of leather. Teacher
Where does the leather come from?
Roy-From the hide Of the OK. Teacher
What animal, therefore, supplies you
with boots and gives you meat to eat?
Boy-My father.-Tit-Bits.
Violet record: Mr.. lnwit (starting for
business)-I have to stop on my way
to the office to get a ribbon Mrs. Inwit
--For whom pray? Mr.. InWit-For my
typewriter. Mrs. InWit-Id just like to
see you buying ribbons for any type
writer!- -Ncw York Herald.
His expectation: What do you pro-
pose to dc in connection with the COM
ing campaign?" You know the old
saying, money talks,'" rejoined Sena-
tor Sorghum. EYES," well, | sup
pose I'll be called on for 4 few speeches.
as usual '-Washington Star.
A slight inaccuracy: Mamma" said
the little girl, her eyes wide with ex-
element. II do believe the minister told
Il story!' why, the idea!' said her
mother; you don't know what you are
saying" But do, mamma: l heard
papa ask him how long he had worn
chin whiskers, and he said he had worn
them all his e."-lndianapolis Press.
:: Out of the ordinary: Il think we
ought to give this wedding a display
head on the first page" said the city
editor ''0nt Of thp ordinary i~ it1,,