The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-04-20
HE KNEW THE SEX.

Maxwell was in love, and like all first
attacks, II was a serious case. 1t was
of the kind that made him forget the
hours for meals, and even the exist
ence of his fond parents was a vague
thing in his mind.
Aside from his neglect of his par
ents, Fred forgot he was a member of
a Juvenile base ball club; his cherished
foot ball courted spider webs in dark
corner of the basement, and he alb
sented- -mindedly gave away all of his
marbles to his little cousin. And even
his new watch was inspected only two
or three times daily. But he was in
love, and the first time at that.
And then, one day, the bright tints
on the sky of his early love changed to
a gloomy, dark woolly green sunset.
and his bubbling affection was pierced
by many pangs of jealousy. His sweet
heart began to show signs of fickle-
ness; she proposed to shake him. be-
cause he was what the boys were
pleased to specify dead SLOW"
In his distress Fred turned to his
bachelor uncle, who was versed in the
ways Of the world and most things in
1t, and in him the boy found a sympa-
thetic and cheerful listener, whose SOL
emn countenance never once betrayed
line of mirth while the tale of woe
was unfolded.
you see," Fred explained, "Deloise,
who Is my girl, was at party last
night and Charlie Mack was thick with
her. There were lots of games with
forfeits and she paid several with him,
but l didn't say nothing until, during
a game of 'postoffice,' heard her and
Charlie canceling stamps outside the
door like everything. Afterward l told
her it wasn't fair, and she laughed at
me. Then we went home"
did you kiss her going homer" his
uncle inquired.
mo; didn't have a chance"
Were you not alone with her?"
"Yes, but"
did you kiss her after you reached
her home?"
NO"
why didn't you?"
"Well, the electric light is too bright
near there"
"Humph! Isn't there a tree or a
telephone pole in front of her house?"
Yes, but what"
Couldn't you have sneaked the girl
into the shadows and kissed her as she
wanted you to?"
But how do you know she wanted
me to kiss her?'
His uncle gesticulatedto high heaven.
| Didn't you notice that she looked up
to the windows and remarked that the
! folks were all in bed and asleep?
| Didn't she scan the street closely and
then edge softly into the darkness of
the electric light shadows and become
silent as if she had some great prob
lem on her mind?"
II believe so, but l didn't think"
| "Of course not. you are not a
chump, but you are atrociously young.
"And today" Fred hurried on, for
he was anxious to get away from the
memories of the previous night and
opportunities lost, "she sent me note
in school with another one from
Charlie Mack, and-but I'm going tc
lick HIM"
What for" his uncle asked.
For trying to steal my girl"
90 But how do you know he is at.
tempting such grand larceny? And are
you sure you can whip him?"
Fred produced two notes in answer
| W tHe AISl queStlon anu Siihcu ah Hi'
last.
Deloise's letter:
Dear Fred: ! have got an offer from Charli
Mack, asking me to be his girl, and | may ac
cept him if / don't get any more. | won't de
eide, though for two or three days Didn't W
have a fine time at the party? Are you goin
to Berthas party Saturday night? I've go
to get my history lesson, good by. Yours wit
love. Delose
Her succinct "offer" from Charl
Mack:
Dear Dcloise: Please accept the offer of bein
my girl. Yours truly,
Charlie Mack
"Now what am l to do?" Freddi
asked, but his uncle had suddenly dis
covered a frog in his throat and gon
choking from the room.
Thursday night Freddie again cam
to his uncle with a letter in his han,
and fearful countenance. His unc,
took the letter and read:
Dear Fred I've accepted Charles offer b,
cause it came first and am going to Bertha
party with him Saturday night. Are you mad
'"mle and tell me so if you are mad
l must hurry now and get my rhetoric lessor
Good bye. In haste, Deloise.
p. S.-Be sure and let me know il you are ma,
Young man." Freddie's uncle begar
after he had read the letter, you POS
sess a prodigious quantity of love an
, deplorable absence of finesse. Thi
J young woman, true to the instincts q
her sex, is leading you a chase, an
you now have the chance of givin
her "a run for her money Take you
, pencil and I'll dictate a letter whic
, you'll afterward copy and send to he
tomorrow in school,"
: my Dear Deloise," her uncle dictated, 81
all means go with Charlie; he is a good fellow
and | hope you'll go with him a long tim
Mad? OF course not Why the idea! shouldn
, think of minding a nttle thing like that. A
ways your friend, Fred Maxwell
,, But, Uncle George. l don't under
: stand it," Freddie protested.
, "I dare say you don't" his unc
: retorted But the girl will. She
c several years in advance of you
e comprehension"
Friday night Freddie informed h
uncle that Deloise walked beside hi
from school and scarcely noticed hi
< accepted fellow" Sunday mornir
: he came bustling into his uncle's roo
c with beaming face and eXcitemei
: sticking out all over him.
IT went home from the party wit
= Deloise last night, and Charlie Mac
is awful mad. He took her there, ar
! sat beside her all the evening. 81
y. followed me all around, and we a
[ supper together. Charlie followed I
home. but we ran around the hous
n and / kissed her when we got in Il
doorway. And she said she was on
joking about being Charles girl"
Uncle George smiled-a peculii
; smile. He knew the sex.
Before the church bells had clangt