The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-10-14
THE FALL OF THE HANNAITE.

the Hannaite, and he rose up In the midst
Of the gathering Of the clans of the tribe
of Republican at the great council at tn {,
place st. Louis, in the land of the Mis-
souris, and said in loud voice: Here
have we man in our midst who will d.
even as we wish. and therefore let him be
our ruler
Thereon, the tribes present said sit is
good" and the dark-skinned men who
had come from the country to the south
Of the great Ohio River. waved
the five and .ten-dollar bills
with which they had been fur
nished by Mark, the Hannaite, and his
liege henchman, Grosvenor, the Prophet,
and called Mckinley, Mckinley" as
previously taught.
And Mckinley came forth, and it be-
came even as the naughty Hannaite had
said. And though there arose a great d.
vision throughout the nation. yet the
clans Of the Hannaites poured forth their
riches and ornaments. and made unto
themselves golden calf. and commanded
the subcaptains and the chief manufac-
turers. and the leaders Of the trusts. who
had all waxed rich with the sweat OF
it.
And the people did not harken unto the
voice of the young tribune of the West,
but did follow even as they were COM
manded, and Mckinley became their
President. And they gathered unto them
from the scribes and Pharisees many
men and made them secretaries of war.
commissary generals. postolfice officials.
and other chief officers over the people.
And Mckinley, the President, had not
long been ruler before there came forth
cry from the Cubanites, a people who
lived far to the south, that they were sore
oppressed. But Mark, the Hannaite, said,
Heed them not; they have no vote
gar Trust" But the people murmured
and said, Let us help them. for we re-
member our own days Of bondage under
George the Third"
Then many of the holders OF the long
purses who sat in the Street called Wall.
and who were content to clip the interest
off the bonds, said, Let the people go
to, and let US leave the Cubanites alone,
or we will have war, and our interest will
be lost"
But the voice Of the people became
louder and louder, and a great ship of the
nation was sent to the harbor Of the place
Havana, in the land of the Cubanites. as
token Of submission to the will Of the
people. But Mark, the Hannaite, had not
read the future through Grosvenor, the
Prophet, and cunning men of Spain blew
up the great ship Maine. Still Mark, the
Hannaite, called for peace, and the chie1
captain of the Navy said. ut Is trifie;
an accident; let US remember it no more
But the people said, Nay, nay" and they
uprose in anger and would not be stilled
Then Mark, the Hannaite. the President
and all the chief men of the Republican
tribe Joined in seeming harmony with the
plain people and went to war with the
oppressors of the Cubanites.
Now, at this time, there was great
hunter of bear and a broncho-bu who
longed with much longing to become Gov
ernor of the Province Of New York and
at length to become President of all the
nation. and he said unto himself at the
time of the beginning Of the war with the
Spanishites. 'Lo. here is my time arisen
And he went forth and donned his great
felt hat, and his clanking spurs, and
girding up his sword. said. "Lo, here an
l. the Goliah Of my people.
And he sent forth great inducements
unto the men who attended cattle. and tt
those who hunted and fished. and to those
who were athletes and said unto them
Make me your captain. even /. Teddy
the Rooseveltite, and l will do mighty
deeds.'
And the men assembled and became
rough riders, and made Teddy their chiet
hot tamale and recorder of his own his
tory. And they went forth to do battle
and at the field Of the hill called San
Juan. n the land of Cuba they met the
Spanishites and charged them, and Teddy
the Rooseveltite. rode in front and
eheered on his men (for is 1t not so set
forth in the writings Of Teddy for the
magazines?l and the Spanishites were de-
feated with great slaughter
And Teddy wrote long writings to the
people Of the province of New York, in his
own land, and said: II, the great and only
Teddy, won the battle with my braveness,
and to me should be glory and honor done
the people did even as Teddy had wished
and he became their Governor.
Now, after the war had been finished
and the people had begun to reflect upon
the conduct of their chief rulers, they
cried out and said, 10, We went to wal
with a great nation. so that we NIGH
free an oppressed people, and here thel
still remain captive"
And there were at thia time many wise
and good men who dealt liz paper writing
and who feared not the power Of the CHIEF
men of the Republicanites. And wher
they saw tina. the people had been foolet
by the doings of the Repubiicanites. the,
investigated and found great corruptnes:
among the leaders Of that tribe.
But the people said. Give us facts,
and, to pacify the rising wrath of the PEG
pie, Mark, the Hannaite. said unto Nc
Kinley, the President, let US make hast
and appoint a commission of men VIII
will be good to US, and let them white
wash our record so that 1t may be clean
And the commission appointed spen
much OF the peoples money in luxurious
travel, and drank fine wines and ate of thu
fat of the land, and tried hard to fnt
places where no evidence was, and t
avoid places where evidence could b,
found.
But the people yet clamored, and in or
der to throw dust into their eyes, Mark
the Hannaite, said. we must make them
concession. And in the third year of tn,
rule of Mckinley. the President. tn
chief of the Algerites was deposed ant
sent home.
Many other such doings also took p1ac,
during the remainder of the term of Nc
Kinley. the President, even Of Estes, tn,
Rathboneite, and the Neelyites, wht
waxed and were made rich with the fund
of the Cubanites.
Now. toward the closing of the reign
of Mckinley. the President, the people
Of the nation began to awake to the do,
ings OF their rulers, and said: "Lo. WI
slumbered. and We have been duped
We will arise or else we will become
like the people Of Cuba and Of Por;t
Rico and Of the Philippine Islands. W,
will have no Emperor to rule over u.s."
And they sent for the young tribune
the Nebraskan, who had before spoken il
their behalf, and said: Come We out an
lead us, ere We be lost
Now, when Mark, the Hannaite, dis
covered that his plans had became know
(for he was already sore because of tn,