The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-12-28
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the trolley party? Daisy-Oh, lovely!
We ran across eve: so many people l
knew.-Smart Set.
Mrs. Jones-Don't trouble yourself to
see me to the door, Mrs Smith. Mrs.
Smith-No trouble. Quite a pleasure,
assure you.-Tit-Bits.
| His Total Eclipse: The Cynic-Ah!
poor man, he's gone over to the silent
majority! Jones-Dead: The Cynic-
No. Married.-Smart Set.
Mnister-So you saw some boys fish
ing on the Sabbath, my young man. Did
you do anything to discourage them?
Small Boy-Yes, sir. l stole their bait.
tx.
Teachcr-And why should we endeav-
or to rise by our own efforts? Johnnie
Nlse-'Cause there's no tellin' when the
alarm-c!ock will go wrong.-Baltimore
American.
Guide referring to the Egyptian pyra-
| mluS)-lt took hundreds of years to
build them. O'Brien Ghe wealthy con-
tractor)-Thin it Wor gover'min job
eh:-Tit-Bits.
Casey-So the boss fired Cassidy for
being drunk? And how did he know he
was drunk? CostiSan-Whoy, tn >:om
fool Wint and fell six shtories widout
hurting himself.--Judge.
Reward of Merit: Nellie-Gracious
How do you manage to knit so much in
SO short a time: Ninette-Every time
10 ten rows, give myself a chocolate
! cream.-Chicago Tribune.
In the Census: New Yorker-It is
estimated that China has a population
Of about four hundred Millions Chi
cagoan-By cracky! wouldn't that make
a scrumptious suburb ?-BaZar.
A Great Joke: Il heard a joke at the
theater last night" What was it,"
| 'Oh, | can't remember, but it was a
| corker: have to laugh every time
think Of t."-Columbus (Ohio) State
Journal
Brothers in Misery: Wife-Strange
how many great men have been mar
ried to shrews. Now there's Socrates,
Ducrer, Luther, and Husband with
| a sign)-What Il genius must be then!
-Jugend.
! Field for IN Anti-cruclty Society: The
Wife, do believe would fall dead if
you were to come home early some
evening. The Brute-Y0u will have to
offer bigger bride than that-In-
| dianapolis Press.
We All Wonder: Little Clarence (who
has an inquiring mind) -Pa! Mr. CALI
pers-Uh? Little Clarence-Pa, how
does it come that Mr.. Windbagger, who
declares that there is no freedom of
speech in this country, talks all the
tmc?-Puck.
''And you say you have made a for
tune by your pen:' said the earnest
young man with the literary look. Yes,
SIR replied the comfortable person;
land I deserved it; it is one of the best
fountain pens ever put on the Market
Washington Star.
Evidence Of trutnfulness: Judge Ito
female witness)--Your name, madam?
Nitness-Matilda Murphy, sir; aged
sc. Judge-Well, really! Go the jury:
Gentlemen, you Will be kind enough to
believe everything Miss Murphy has to
say.-Phladelphia Bulletin.
Excuse me, sir" said the man in the
next seat. ''''but your cigar is burning
a hole in your paper" THAT is all
right responded the other; Il am just
burning out the price of those electric
seals at to-morroW's bargain sale. You
phia Record.
Won Blumer-What's the matter: You
look sad Dimpleton-I feel sad. This
morning 1 deceived my wife for the
first time. Won Blumer-Oh, is that all?
Pooh. You'll recover Don't let that
worry you. Dimpleton-But it does.
old man. She caught me at it--Detroit
Free Press
Precautions: 'Talk about absent
mirdedness! jenkins is the NEST :b-
sent-minded beggac know" whats
he done now!' why, he wrote the
combination Of the safe on a piece to
paper to keep from forgetting it, and
then locked the paper in the safe to
keep from losing it"-Denver Times
His little game: She-You know that
check for one hundred dollars you gave
me? Well, they refused to cash it, The
teller said that you only had seventy
five dollars in the bank. He-Ey Jove,
I'm awfully sorry, dear. Shc~Oh, it
was all right; I deposited twenty-five
dollars, and then they gave me the
mOney.--Life.
She-To live with you, dear George,
on a desert island-to be always near
you-that would be my great joy hence
forth. He-You dear girl. md that is
really all you ask for? >he-1es. IT
there is one other thing l should; like
when we're married, it is that you will
take box ut the opera for the season.
Will you, George dear:-Pick- MeUp.
4 choice Of terms! Here's another
man who got away with some money
| that didn't belong to him." said the