The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-08-10
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per. LOU are probably better off with
out it.
! Some people have so much patience
with themselves that they never Sue
coed in anything.
Jinks-There's one good thing about
| spoiled children. Binks-Whats that?:
Jinks-One never has them in ones
own house.
II don't see what you like about this
fiat: Clara swell, Clarence, it is the
only one we've looked at that fits our
Navajo rug."-Chicago Record.
A false front: PA, our new dog is
| awful d'ceitful." How, Tommy"
"Why, when he barks at people he
Wags his ail.'-Chicago Record.
+ Teacher OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES wrote
your composition, Johnny? Johnny
MY; father. Teacher-What. all of it?
Johnny-No'm; helped him.-Truth.
: Fair Painter-I, hope you don't mind
my sketching in your field? Farmer
LORD no, missile! You keep the birds
off the peas bettern a. ordinary scare
! crow.
Sure, Pat, and why are We wearin'
yer coat buttoned up loike that on
warm day loike this:" Faith, yer riv-
erence to hoide the shirt Oh haven't got
on.'-Punch.
"Now, honestly, Maud didn't Jack
propose last eveningY why, y-e-e-s.
But how did you guess?" II noticed
that you didn't have that worried look
this morning"
Real Cruelty: "Oh, mummy, do come
and speak to Johnny; he's tWcading on
all the worms in the garden 'How
Unkind" Yes. and he won't let me-
tWcad on any.'-The King.
\lsitor-Nhat WAS the matter with
the man they just brought in? Doctor
Stuck his head through a pane of glass.
Elsitor-How did he look? Doctor-His
face wore an injured expression.
= Curious Villager-Ay, Sandy, an sc
wis wounded at Mayersfontein: Whit
wis ye struck VII? Sandy (tired of an
.s"ering questions)-I was struck wi
wonder when kent l wisna killed.
baby is: fond of you? Papa-Fond OF
me? Why, he sleeps all day when I'm
not at home. and stays up all night just
to enjoy my society!-Brooklyn Life
Magistrate-Do you mean to say such
a physical wreck as he is gave you
that black eye? Complaining Wife
Shurc, yer worship. he wasn't physi-
cal wreck till he gave ne tn black
eye. - r III
F. "Papa," said Willie, why did YOU
buy a golf coat?' TO play golf in my
son. said Mr.. Willis. Did you need
it," OF course l did" "Then 1 need
a topcoat to%play tops in. I seen 'em
advertised."
Teacher (endeavoring to explain the
meaning Of the word harness. )-What
does your father put on the horse?
Small Boy CHS face brightening)-
Please, sir, e puts on all e can if e
thinks it'll VIM
At the Summer Hotel: "Who is that
good-looking young waiter who is toss,
ing the plates across the room? Is he
IL Stttltut, tOO. les. ne uOluS the
record in Harvale for discus throwing"
cleveland Plain Dealer.
\ Natural Reaction: Hi Tragedy
understand the audience last night
was very cold? Lowe Comerdy-They
were at first but when they began to
rccollect that they had paid good money
to see the show they got hot-Philade}-
phia Press.
Earmarks of Literary Ability: Did
that critic write any favorable com
ment on your novel, Belinda?" Oh. yes;
he said my father had once met tie
Prince of Wales and that we had al
ways moved in the best society"-In-
dianapolis Journal.
A Feminine Butter: And now, chill
dren,' said the teacher, who had been
talking about military fortified tons.
can any Of you tell me what is a but
tress:" please, ma'am," cried little
Willie, swapping his fingers. its
nanny-goat!" -Philadelpha Press.
Mrs. Brown-1 must be going back to
the city at once; I've had three letters
from my husband in two days. Mrs.
Gray-Why, you poor dear! l know
just how you feel; two would be suspi-
ciously attentive-but three! I really
am afraid he has been doing something
very reprehensible.-Brooklyn Life
The following birth notice recently
appeared in the columns of a Kansas
paper: Born, to the wife of Jim Jones,
a boy. The boy favors his old dad in
several ways, viz: He is bald, has a
red nose, takes to a bottle like bum
blebee to lump of sugar, and makes a
lot of noise about nothing. Selah"-
Exchange.
The Virtuous Clerk: "Sign your name
here" said the chief conspirator, land
the money will be paid you at once"
*'Sooner than let my good right hand
sign that Ubiquitous document" said
the virtuous government clerk, Il
would cut it off! But, fortunately,
am left-handed." And he signed it
Cleveland Plain Dealer.