Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1900-09-22
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

8 EA-TABLE SALAD. s
G~N~~-o~N~-~~~~~~~~~~~-~
Gone Dry--We are in receipt of the fol-
lowing inquiry: Dear editor: our COW
has gone dry. do you think we could sell
her for dried beefI ii so, whcar PIN
dianapolis News.
Provision for the future: Mrs. Bon
ney-"Six motherless children. you say:
And can't you find work." Tramp
| oh, they're not old enough for that
yet, ma am. "-BrOoklyn Life.
A serious pow-wow-"Hush. not so
| loud! We're having a conference of the
powers" Eth! Who is confprringf'
My wife, my mother-in-law and the
cook!"-Cleveland Plain Dealer
Charitable Old Lady-"Poor woman
And are you a widow?'
Beggar-"Worse than a widow, ma am.
Me husbands living, an l have to sup
port him. Glasgow Evening Times.
Il should have more faith in the col
lege woman" said a man, IF she spent
less time and energy in trying to prove
to us that partner parts greater
than the whole. New York Evening
Sun.
The following fragment of convcrsa-
ton tioated up the dumb-waiter of a GER
tain household the other day: "Yas'm."
said the voice of the coored waitress,
rs a sassiety gal, | isl scrubs my
teef'
Il notice that a bear took possession
of Canadian backwoods brewery the
other day" What did the employees do
quit the bruin" No; they rallied
and rushed the growler. '-Cleveland
Plain Dealer
"Belinda, if my salary were raised we
could be married tomorrow"
'All right, Augustus; I'll write your
employer an anonymous letter and tell
him we both think he is mean old
thing. Indianapolis Journal.
Old-Fashioned: McJiggcr - ~ see
Mr.. Barnpaws. the circus man. was mar
RED the other day. That was something
of comedown for him" Thingumbob-
why SoT The wedding was nothing
but one-ring performance. "-Philadel-
phia Press.
My dear" said Crimsonbeak to his
wife the other morning, Il wish you
would look over my wardrobe | was up
in my room little while ago. and the
only things I could find which had any
buttons on were my kodaks"'-Y onkers
Statesman.
Mrs. Won Blumer Dear. dear.
dropped my diamond ring OFF my finger
this morning, and l cannot find it any
where
Won Blumer-"Its all right came
across 1t in one of my trousers pockets"
-flarpcr's Bazaar.
What She Spent-Eusband- How
much lid you spend today?
Nife-"Se venty-sX dollars and seven
teen cents"
Husband Gronically)-"Was that aH?"
Wife with an injured airl-''That was
all | had. New York Weekly.
He-"Wasn't that you on the piazza
last nightT'
She-"No'
Then l wonder who in the world it
was | kissed?"
You can probably tell by going there
tonight at the same time. Life.
Mrs. Greenc-"When Charles comes
home late at night l always give him
a good talking to-"
late | say nothing, but let him do the
talking. In that way. you see. find ont
just what condition he is in."-Boston
Transcript
Dyspeptic Mother-"My son, have cor
rected you often for rapid eating. Now.
you have gobbed that banana at two
bites you will surely be ILL., AS punish
ment you shall not go out to play"
penitent Son-"Well, ma, if | eat an
other banana nice and slow mayn't ! 20
then|'-Life.
What's that? Some stranded
actor trying TO beat you out Of his
boardY' Hotel Proprietor-'No; those
fellows uOn give us any tfOuUIC. nat
one of those raScally millonaircs-paid
his bin. but he's trying to skip without
fleeing the help; they're on to his l.ttle
game, though. Harlem Life.
Mr. CorntoSsel-"B Blame f I On under
stand these here theater troupcrs.
Mr. Meddergrass--"W What's matter|
Mr. COrntossel-"Why, they advertised
this here drammer o Tn Back View o
Vengeance as havin' plenty o life in it,
an blame f they didn't kill sixteen peo-
pie in tn first act. '-Baltimore Amcri-
can.
Pat was talking with a cigarmaker,
who was saying that he supposed Presi-
dent Mckinley had smoked some of the
cigars he had made.
"Begorra. said Pat, IF yen had only
known which one il was whin ycz wurr
making it yez could have kept it a.
Sooveneer. "-New York Mail and EE-
press.
American Tenor who has been abroad
All, my man. you are an eye doctor. I
lnderStandT' OculiSt-"I am m oculiSt.
sir. Yes: well. what | want % know
Is whether there = any way - prevent
The eyes from filing with water while
singincF" None that I know OF. except
Ito steel your heart against the suTcrngs
u the audience. '-1it-Bits.
Father tmeaninglyl-"W VINO is the laz.-
est boy in your class, TommvF'' Tom
NY don't know. pa" Father
should think you would know. When al
he others are industriously studying or
writing their lessons, who is it sits idly