Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1900-01-24
AhEeDG1E
NND
lNpEHT

John I. Blair. In his earlier days
owned q Western railroad along the
route of which he established q series
Of lunch rooms. at which employees OF
the road were to be charged so cent?
and all passengers Is cents. Mr.. BlaiI
once dined at one Of these places. and
concluding his meal, laid down hall
dollar Hold on!' cried the cashier
you don't belong to this road" u
know that" replied Mr.. Blair. 'the road
belongs to me-"
The skipper Of sailing vessel had a.
passenger an estimable but not very
courageous minister and two careless
young men given to mischief. A severe
storm came up, and although the young
men were frightened enough. their ter,
ror was nothing to that of the poor min
lister, who was indeed a pitiable object
See here, SIR" said the skipper at last,
with kindly severity, do you want me
to think you're more afraid Of going to
heaven than those young men are o!
going to hellT'
During the Congress Of Vienna each
of the several monarchs present was
the guest Of some nobleman. On one
occasion Baron Rothschild was invited.
He modestly went to take his place. no;
among the more exalted guests. When
they discovered Rothschild, however
they all arose and saluted bin, except
the King Of Prussia. Some one asked
the king why he did not salute the great
European banker. Did not?' he re-
piled; well, suppose it was because
l was the only one who did not owe him
anything"
The Senate has always been con
trolled by lawyers, and Blaine was at
disadvantage because he did not be-
long to the profession. The law-lords
were disposed to disparage and fout
him, but he was disrespectful to the
verge Of irreverence. "Does the Sena-
tor from Maine think l am an idjit
ddioD?" roared Thurman, in reply to
an interrogatory Blaine put to him one
day in the Pacific Railroad debate.
Well" beloved Blaine, that depends
entirely on the answer you make to my
question:
Probably the easiest college examina
ton on record is that recorded in the
Life Of Dean Llddell." Christ Church
was the resort Of many gentlemen com
moners who passed on their family. no,
their scholastic attainments. Still. they
had to be examined, and one Of them,
who had haan set to attend a course Of
lectures on the atmosphere, came before
Ioshr----- ~--.-- inquiry into
:. - human unoc-. ,ssiing. well,
Mr.. -" said Gordon. what is the
atmosphere composed OFF, After much
hesitation the man replied, Zinc"
THANK you," said Gordon, that will
do. Good-morning."
While at Harrow, Dean Vaughan was
returning home late one evening, when
he caught sight Of boy who ought to
have been fast asleep in bed. As soon
as the boy saw the dreaded figure he
ran for dear life, with DR.. Vaughan In
hot pursuit. He succeeded in catching
the boy by one of his coattails, when
there was a sudden wrench. and the
youngster was off again, leaving a coat
tail in the heads hands. The master
made sure that he would now find out
the culprit next morning, and did not
pursue further. But next day, to his
blank astonishment, every boy of the
sixth form had only one tail to his coat.
An old Irish laborer walked into the
luxurious studio of an artist, and asked
for money to obtain a meal. He ex-
planned that he had just been discharged
from the county hospital, and was too
weak to work. He was given a quarter
and departed. One of four young ladies,
art students, who were present, said:
Mr.. Madder, can't we hire that old
man and sketch himY Madder ran out
and caught him, and said: IF you
can't work, and want to make a dollar,
come back to my rooms. The young
ladies want to paint you" The Irish
man hesitated. SO Madder remarked:
1T won't take long, and It's an easy
way to make dollar" 'Oi know
that" was the reply. but Oh was
a-wonderin' how tn divil Ord git tn
paint off aftherward."