The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-11-30
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the loidy's purse when she dropped it?
Jim-Six months.-Tit-B Bits.
Returns: docs he get any returns
from his poetry?" Cali he does get.''-
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.
Il don't like to have my friends get
married in the fall" "Why not?"
1--we got all can do to buy my winter
suit. '-Atlanta Constitution.
Bitter Logic: Small Boy Gin fish mar
kct--Have you any dry fish? Fisher
man-Yes, sonnie. Small Boy-Well,
give them a drink, then.-Harlem Life.
Yes, he boasts that he has lived
nearly seventy years without ever hav-
ing been inside bank What is he
a bank director ?'-Chicago Times Her
ald
a Reflection: Mrs. Johnson-What
said to Mrs. Silnpkins was dat l didn't
b~leeb yo' husband ebbah robbed a hen
zoos IN his life. Mrs. Black-Yo' done
mean to insinniwate he amt got de
nerve?-Puck.
Il can't imagine why Stutterton mar
ried Miss Strongmind" ''Nor I. How
ever she's curing him of the suffering
habit" You don't say SOL" Yes; she
doesn't give him a chance to talk at all
now."-Cassell's.
A Quick Answer: paw. what is
stage fright" asked the boy, opening
his bag of popcorn. ''Stage fright:' re-
peated his father, pointing to veteran
of the chorus; why, there is ONE
Philadelphia Record
In Memoriam: II presume you car
~ memento Of some kind in that lock
ct Of yours?" "Precisely; it is lock
Of my husbands hair" But your hus-
band is still alive" Yes; but his hair
is all gone -Tit-Bits.
What in the world is the mattp
with the managing EDITOR" "He'B
worried because he isn't quite sure
that he ought to cut down football
space to make room for politics, or vice
ersa."-Cleveland Plain Dealer
False Idea: Mana ger--I would like
to have you make dramatic version Of
this popular novel. Playwright (Weari-
ly)-But that will necessitate my read
ing it. Manager-Not at all. We don't
want you to spoil the p!ay.-Bazar.
AS Usual: Assistant-Herc are more
dispatches about that battle in the
East. Editor-What do they say: AS
sista nit appears that both sides were
greatly outnumbeTed, but each defeated
the enemy with severe loss.-Harlem
Life.
DO you see that very ordinary-look-
ing man over there:' Yes; what Of
it," He's a man with history -
man with a history- What has he ever
done?' Nothing at all. He's selling
the history by subscription. "-Chicago
Post
I4ady-Some weeks ago I bought
plaster here to help me get rid Of
rheumatism Druggist-Wel1, ma'am.
hope it did its work. I.ady-Yes, but
now want something else to help me
to get rid of the plaster.-Boston
Beacon.
Wife Ito husband returning at 3 a.
M. )-What time is it, dear? Husband
One o'clock, think. O'clock strikes
three.) Wife-Why, it just struck 8,
sir. Observation-Disclosures my dear:
that clock must stutter.-Fliegende
Blaetter.
Allow did your automobile journey
turn out? B.-Beautifully! Although
| ran over two pedestrians and three
bicycles and knocked two wagons into
a ditch, my motor was not at all injured
and l arrived just on time.-Fliegende
Blaetter.
Jack Huggard-Mss Pechy's father
made a surprising statement to me last
night. Dick Danser-That so? What
was it? Jack Huggard-He sneaked
into the parlor and cried: "Aha! That's
the time l caught you kissing my
Philadelphia Press.
House Owner-You didn't pay the
rent last month. Tenant-No? Well,
I suppose you'll hold me to your agree
ment. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. agree
ment? Tenant-Why, when l rented
you said must pay in advance or not
at all.-Columbus (Ohio) State Journal.
A Young Wife's Sorrow: isabelle
writes me that life with her Hunga-
rian count is just killing her." "You
don't say! Has he already ceased to
love herT' mo; but he talks in his
sleep in his native language and she
can't understand word he says."-In-
Press.
Wife (who has been struck by a BIZ
cycle)-Neyer mind, dear. Don't make
a scene of it. Husband-What. Do
you think I'll let him go without say
ing what think? Wife-But I'm not
really hurt Husband-That doesn't
matter A little more and he might
have run into me.-Tit Bits.
Il suppose you would rather play
Hamlet than eat" said the admirins
young woman, who is given to COLO
quialisms. "Well," answered Mr..
Stormington Barnes, II never put it in
just that way. But your remark sue-
gests the alternative that usually pre-