davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-12-13
UMBRELLA BOYS.
The Useful Purpose They Serve
Rainy Days in HarIena-Cab-
mems Rivals.

Some of Harlem's small boys who have
to shift for themselves more or less
have found a new source of income. On
rainy days they wait at the foot of the
principal 81" stations with umbrellas
and convoy passengers to their homes
at the rate of a nickel a head "for each
three blocks or fraction thereof" Of
course, they viii not refuse more If it
is offered. but they cannot afford to
ask much more; for that would bring
them into ruinous competition with
the cabmen, or cause them to be boy
cotted altogether. The day that has
opened fair. but to live up to its prom-
Use, is the best for their business, and
the best time is Immediately following
the rush hours downtown. saws the
New York Post.
The chief drawback of the enter
prise is hat while the boy is looking
after one customer he is pretty sure to
miss several others. The profits are
too small to justify one youngster in
hiring others to work for him. and be-
sides they would probably prefer in
dustrial independence. One might own
several umbrellas. and intrust them to
patrons, but umbrellas are traditional
by unsafe to trust anyone with. If a
deposit were required for security it
might strain the confidence of the
other party to the transaction. An
other disadvantage is that so few days
are stormy: still fewer unexpectedly
so. But this is really as it should be.
from the umbrella boys viewpoint:
since if it rained every day all would
go prepared, and an umbrella would
become as much a part of ones outfit
as his hat.
One ~precocious urchin told the writer
whom he escorted that he always
made a dollar with his umbrella on a
good bad day-and the umbrella was
not worth half that-but deplored his
lot in comparison with that of the
newsboys and bootblacks whose occu-
patton is more continuous.
"But den.' he moralized, "dem per-
LESSONS is ~overcrowded, like all de
vest.o
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-12-13
p~ARAGRAPHIc

BY introducing subsidy legisla-
ton before anything else the repub-
ticans show their prediction for spe-
,ial privilege deals. - Indianapolis
News (Ind.).
It's a cinch that the ship subsidy
bill will be passed by congress if Mark
Hanna's bullwhip hasn't lost its crack
er and his biceps muscle its whip-swing-
ing cunning.-St. Louis Republic.
There are no trusts, according to
the assurances of hat most estimable
republican leader and manager, Mr..
Hanna. Why talk about regulating
hat which does not exist? Omaha
World-Herald.
The army increase to be asked
for by the president is unquestionably
needed. 1t is not needed by the repub-
lie, but it is sorely needed by the en-
pire, and a greater increase viii be
imperative in the near future. if McKin-
ley imperialism is to be continued as
the american" policy.-St. Louis Re-
public.
1t is more than passing strange
that some of the republican leaders in
congress should persist in pushing the
ship subsidy bill in the teeth of the op-
position of nearly all the people of the
country and in the face of the fact that
shipbuilding without subsidies is en-
ioying the biggest boom it has ever
known in America. = indianapolis
Press.
The republican majority of the
ways and means committee has ready
TO its hand answer to all the petit
TONERS for a reduction of the war axes.
The committee can say with perfect
truth: "You voted to retain in power
the administration which is response
BILE for the Philippine war. You can
not fairly object to paying the expense
OF that war" There can be no answer
to this statement.-Chicago Chronicle.
a trust asking for tariff protec-
ton and then forcing up the price of
its porducts on the people of this coun-
try whose government gave the protec-
ton is an object that is very offensive
to those who are thus oppressed. When
the people see how this state of affairs
can be ended It will be done, and Mr..
Hewitt is wise beyond his fellow mill
lionaires in seeing that 1t can best be
done If the scales fall from the eyes of
the rich before another French revo-
luton is provoked.-Utica Observer.
Three measures-the army bill,
the isthmian canal bill ard the ship
subsidy bill-are named by Senator
Burrows, of Michigan, as the chief OBJ
jects of republican solicitude during
the .short session of congress. They
cover a prospective expenditure of more
than $500. 0oo. 900. The taxpayers of the
country ought also to be full of solicit
fude. When these three measures shall !
have become laws a mortgage will have
been practically entered upon against
the whole property Of the people,
Dlj'.Ssinhia Record.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-12-13
PosT-ELECTIoN q
Remaan the same as During the Cnn-
paisn and Republicans VIII Ne
Held 40 Them.

eft is fortunate for the party in
power said President Mckinley, in
his late speech at Philadelphia, IF it
understands the true meaning of the
result of the elections"
Indications are that the party in
power, if the utterances of its party
inexperienced the true meaning.
Republican party organs as a unit
are placing upon the November cleo
tions constructions which are entirely
unwarranted by the results. They in
fer that the elections have put an end
to the issues of Imperialism n mill
tarism; that the American people are
pleased with the Philippine war and
eager that it be prosecuted to the
conquest of those islands by a resort
to the most violent measures.
They claim that the Hamiltonian
tendencies of the Mckinley admins
tration have been approved and that
the American people see attractions
in an English governmental system
such as Hamilton favored: that the
American people are in favor of grab
bling territory wherever a shadow of
ar xcuse to warrant such seizure
stands out. Some have even gone so
far as to assert that the American
people favor trusts.
None of these differences are war
ranted. The results of the election
show rather hat those who lead the
thought Of the American people are
opposed to all these policies.
1t may be said without any slight
of the population of the country dis
tricts of the nation that the cities
lead in public movements, not because
of greater meAtal power, but because
of greater proximity to h sources OF
information. In the cities, with re-
markable uniformity, the republicans
sustained great losses. In Boston
and New York republican majorities
were converted into democratic ma
jorities, and in all the big cities a sim
liar falling off in the republican vote
vas apparent.
The just inference is that those
who voted on the immediate issues in
the last campaign voted against Nc
Kinley.
Moreover, the republican party or
gans during the campaign did not de-
bate OF defend Imperialism, militarism
and trusts. Their labors were con-
fined to an agitation of the prosperity
which they declare had characterized
the administration of William McKin-
ley and to denunciation of the demo-
cratic candidate for his policies in
1896 and of the men who. they
charged. would form his cabinet
should he be elected. They made and
won on other issues than those put
forth as paramount in the democratic
platform.
Having carried the nation on the
issues they made, the American people
will hold them to those issues. They
cannot, after the election. make para
mount those issues which, before the
election, they ignored or denounced
as specters and bugaboos. The recent
policies of Mckinley. his Philippine
war, his increased standing army, his
British Nicaragua canal, his Hamil-
tonianism do not stand approved.
They are in suspense, waiting to be
passed on by the people when other
campaigns throw them to the front.
st. Louis Republic.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-12-13
SMITHS RECORD BREAKERS.
(From the Photo He Wished For.)

eff you are anxious to tell the whole
truth, which ] dosbt," said Yorker,
when Zuckmaier had finished, you
will add that while you were catching
that little string of yours 1 sat in the
same ano and pulled in just about
twice as many as you did"
Nearly every one of them we're
dinky rock bass" replied Zuckmaier.
81 might have had a wagon load of
those things if / had wished to use
a shovel"
at didn't catch half a dozen rock
bass all that day, and you know IT."
ST would advise you to tell the
truth and shame the devil, Yorker"
what + you fellows scrapping
about, anyway" asked Smith. "Un-
der the rules of the club it was pos
sible for a man to claim that he had
caught a thousand if he liked to. You
knew that a man who would bring in
any fish that were not needed, or that
were not record-breakers in point of
size, would have been lynched. and all
tales as to numbers were barred.
Now I had proof of my catch on the
day you speak of; 1 showed up the
fish and they were beauts."
"Do you refer to those two min
nows you called US over to SEE? '
asked Zuckmaier.
Doctor, I am glad that you are
here to-day. I have wished to tell you
about those two fish they refer to as
minnows. In reality they were the
record-breakers of the summer. Seven
and ia pounds, if 1 remember right
~. 1 caught them just off the grass
beds along the Twin islands, and
then pulled over to the main shore
and called the fellows over to see
what was possible at K~ah-pee-kog.
Those two bass were the pride of all
my fishing days, and I have always
been sorry hat 1 did not have I'LL
marks camera along so that I might
have had a picture of them"
II remember that day quite WELL"
said Ullmark, "and 1 also remember
the fish, but they were only little
fellows when compared to the one I
caught off Crown island"
you would not dare to say that If
I had a picture to prove my state
ments," said Smith.
"Oh, as for that, I think I can ac-
commodate you," replied Ullmark. ST
just happened to have the camera
with me that day and caught a little
snap shot hat 1 have with me. Here
it is"
And Ullmark pulled out of his pock-
ct a photo that showed Smith with q
couple of tiny ones hanging to the
end of a string which he was hold
ing up.
No, we did not GO to the football
game that day. No two members of
the party were willing to remain to-
gether longer than was necessary, and
each went his separate way to meet
again at Kah-pee-kog mex year.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-12-13
HEAVY TRUCKING.
How the Immense Loads Drawn by
Fifty-Horse Teams Are Put
ON the Truck.

~The passing of a great 80, 20, so
horse team. hauling a ponderous load
of so, IS or more tons, a great spec.
of wire cable, for instance" said a
man engaged in the business of heavy
trucking. according to the New York
Sun, Interests everybody that sees
It; no doubt people would all De
interested just the same in the pre-
liminary handling of the big spool.
including the loading of it on the
truck On which they see it hauled.
all that part of the work being done
on just the same broad and lofty
scale.
THE cable comes from Trenton.
At the mill the great reel of wire,
when al ready to ship, is swung with
a crane onto a a expressly built to
carry such reels. Arrived at Jersey
City this a is switched to the wa
ter's edge. where it is met by a float
ing derrick from this city, which lifts
the reel off the car and swings it
around and lowers it upon its own
deck. Then the floating derrick with
the reel aboard is towed over to this
side of the river, where it is to meet
the truck.
THE big truck alone. steel through
out. ard with broad-faced steel
wheels, weighs ten tons; with its load
t may weigh anywhere from so to 90
tons. Not every wharf, by any means.
would bear up that load within the
comparatively small space of the
trucks Wheel base. or hold up such a
load in motion on it; so we take this
load aboard. when we can. at a bulk
head, where the truck can stand close
to the waters edge and still on solid
ground. The floating derrick with
the load on its deck is brought along
side the buIkhead and the load is
picked up again and swung this time
around over the shore and lowered
onto the Platform of the truck.
That's the way they load a heavy
platform truck. The manner of load
iEg a high-wheeled swing-truck. on
which the great load is carried sus-
pended in chains from long beams
blocked up high above the axles is
quite different. This load might be,
for instance. a great boiler, or an en-
CINE, or perhaps a great steel shaft.
The load in this case would be depos-
tied not on the truck, but on the
ground. and the truck would be ma
neuvered over it. When they had got
the chains under it, the great team
soon to be engaged in hauling the
load would be hooked onto a block
and tackle properly rugged for the
purpose and the load hoisted clear of
the ground and to the height at which
- a. - 49,
swings. Then the team would be
brought around again to where it be-
longed to pull the load"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-12-13

A Ii newspapers print Thanksgiv-
n ing day stories on or just before
the date set by the president for the
observance of our special day of
Thanksgiving. 1t is right that they
should l never did believe in being
behind the times, ever though one has
to stretch the imagination a trife to
NIX things all up beforehand.
AT the same time l contend that
this Is not a Thanksgiving day story.
hat simply because a crowd of fish
ermen happened to meet together on
that day and tell of their exploits, or
fancied exploits, for the fisherman
never lived who could remember the
truth about the fish he caught for IL
hours at a stretch. does not neces-
sarily make this a story of Thanks
giving day.
The fact of the matter is thai there
was but very little thanks about the
whole proceeding. There was, how
ever, an abundance of -imprecations
and criticisms. The guests swore
mildly at each other and the presi-
dent, and one and all criticised the
kind hostess who had provided us
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-12-13
PITH AND POINT.

Nothing makes a busy man moTe
angry than to hear the good nature OF
a loafer commended.-Atchison Globe.
we cannot possess, to deny what we
cannot understand and to insult those
we enyy-Chicago Daily News.
The Bigamist.-Magistrate Are
you a married man?. Prisoner-I
should say I was-Tm the husband of
two women; that's why I'm here
Ohio State Journal.
Jones-Are you an optimist2" jolly
II think we're improving. The last
bank cashier who absconded took only
one-fourth as much as his predeces-
sor.'-Town Topics.
4 Fond Critic-Wife of His Bosom
"Lovely. dear, lovely! But I think
those sheep look too much like clouds
-er-that is-of course-darling-un-
less they are cIouds."-Life.
First Worm (gratefully)-'.So you
have gotten me a job as caretaker in a
hickory nut?" Second Worm face
tiousiy)-"Yes: that is the situation
in a nutshell."-Brooklyn Eagle.
Nell carbohydrates a telegram
from Jack Punter of the varsity team"
Belle-What's it say?" Nell-SIt
says: Nose broken. How do you pre-
fer it set-Greek or ?'"-Phila-
delphia Record.
Teaching a Kid.-"Papa," said Sam
my Snaggs. this story says that the
m~utineers were put in irons" Yes,
Sammy" But, papa?" We'll, Sam
my?" why do they iron prisoners?"
ITO take the starch out of them. Sam
my.'-Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-12-13
THE NEW VICE PRESIDENT.
Mckinley and Hanna Have Got Some
thing Pretty WoolIy acked
On to Them.

The incongruity of Mr.. Roosevelt'S'
election to the vice presidency has inn
pressed itself upon the press of the
nation, regardless of politics. Ths
vice president should be a ma of Dig
nifty, a good parliamentarian, a level
headed gentleman, who is willing TO
take a back seat; in short, he should
be all that Theodore Roosevelt is not.
Everybody is wondering whether the
vice presidency will reconstruct Roose-
welt, or whether Roosevelt will
try to reconstruct the vice presi-
dency. Tradition and precedent"
remarks the Atlanta Constitution,
have minimized whatever power once
rested in the vice presidential Office.
Good form DEGREES that he should be
conveniently absent most of the time,
so as to let the pro. EN-. have a
chance. On this point a friendly
newspaper says:
whether Mr.. Roosevelt win adapt
himself to this situation or whether
the mountain will go to Mahomet re-
mains to be seen. Mr.. Dcoley many
months ago told the suffering Hen
messy that when he read in the paper
of the vice president dragging two
senators out of the cloak room and
there thrashing them, he might know
hat his old friend, Teddy, was in Of
fee. Whether the wave of good fell
lowship that now ~pervades republican
circles win permit n such innovs-
tions on Mr.. Roosevelt's part is per-
haps an open question At all events,
as vice president he will be an inter
esting study" And the Waterbury
American offers this suggestion:
t'sWhile, however, the inclusion of Vice
President Roosevelt as a participant
in cabinet discussions and adviser on
national affairs might not add to the
smooth running of the cabinet ma
chine. it would doubtless be an ex.
perience of great value to Gov. Roose.
welt. It would teach him certain les
sons of patience, tact and diplomacy,
in which his chief is past master, and
of which he himself stands most in
need. If, as people now think. he il
the most likely man in the United
States senate TO succeed Mr.. Mckinley
in the white house in 1904, the latter
would be doing a valuable service to
the country by giving Teddy a chance
to find out practically what it means
to run a cabinet"
Mr.. Mckinley and Mr.. Hanna prob
ably realize full wei that they have
taken a boy to bring up; but as for
making the cabinet meetings a train
ing school for immature cowboy
a bull in q china shop
would not be q circumstance.-Albany
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-12-13

the day and the dish" said Zuckmaiex
again. 81 would change the month
What could be more appropriate than
She last Of August? A fellow could
spend the day fishing then, and would
have something to be really thankful
for. I tell you, the presidents we
have make me tired"
+. Further condemnation Of our chief
magistrate was stopped by the hostess
announcing dinner. and once at the
table the misdeeds Of the president
were forgotten.
"Ifyou had only known, Mrs. R"
began one member of the party; I
won't say who, for it was not a gra-
cious speech. "that the gentlemen
you are entertaining to-day T all
fishermen, men who delve into the
Canadian forests in quest of the
charming lakes filed with gamey
bass, / am sure that you would have
served fish instead of turkey for them
to-day"
Once at the table the hostess left
US. and one could not blame her much
for doing SO.
''Fy dear doctor" began Zuckmaier,
addressing DR.. Clark, 1T grieves me
yet when l think OF your having left
Us so early last summer. Why. man.
you missed the very best of the fish
ing. In fact, you only had a mere
taste of pleasure during the time that
YOU were with US. Now if you could
have but remained a couple Of days
longer and been with me the day 1
had such luck at the 'Narrows ii
would have been an experience you
would never have forgotten l caught
no less than rs elegant bass there in
one forenoon. 1 have often wished
that YOU might nave been in the
with me that day"
1t must be explained that DR..
Clark had not been able to stay
through the entire season at kah-pee-
kog. He was anxious to show Mrs.
Clark the beauties Of the Muskoka
district, and especially to take her
for a trip down the Moo river. and
for this reason had to leave a few
days before the remainder of our
party had.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-12-13

with a bountiful dinner of the regula-
ton Thanksgiving style. For these
reasons l contend that this is by no
means a Thanksgiving story, and that
I am not violating a long established
custom by having it printed wherever
and whenever I can.
1t happened quite by accident that
q half dozen members of the Kak-pee-
kog club should have per force of cir
cumstances spent Thanksgiving day
in the same town, and every man had
a different excuse for having done so.
It vas as early as Tuesday when
Smith showed up. He had come, he
said, to be present at a closing GU
sale of a wholesale clothing house,
but he sincerely hoped he would be
able to get out of town by Wednes-
day. He did not. When he called
at my office l expressed my sorrow at
his coming II such a time, as I had
expected to a a flying visit to my
old home in Iowa. But / did not go;
the railroad company refused me a
pass. DIR. Clark came in on Wednes-
day morning, but he explained that
he would be out again on Wednesday
night. He had been called to oficiate
at a surgical operation. When the
time came the patient was not in
condition to undergo the operation
and he had to remain over. Zuck-
maier, Ullmark and Yorker all had
various excuses to offer for having
been caught in the town over Thanks
giving day. But the fact remained
that we were there, and my hospita-
~ T--lIol- Isrl1- ;-~s4a1 NC - no--
take of a spread which she would fur
nish.
1t was further arranged that we
should have an early dinner, and that
after it was over we should go to the
football game, but III carefully
planned arrangements miscarried and
the football game had to get along
without us.
Even before dinner was announced,
promptly at IL, the discussion had
unite naturally turned to fish, to Kah-
nee-kog and to the beauties and at
fractions of the Muskoka region of
Canada in general, and Smith was
full of enthusiasm for u trip next
summer.
ST would like to be on the waters
OF h~dn-pCC-AOS AASAA AO" 0s
EST can sit here and see u old log
house rising from the top of Crown
island: I can see Fraser cutting up
that old pine log out in front; 1 can
hear the whizz Of the reel as the bass
strike. oh, but how I should like one
OF those bass for my dinner to-day!'
sThat reminds me-" said Zuckmaier,
ssthat / used to wonder often while
Cleveland was president that he did
not change Thanksgiving from Thurs
day to Friday and prescribe fish as
the national dish. If he had been the
fisherman the papers would have US
believe he was he would have done
that"
"Custom, my dear boy, CUSTOM"
broke in Yorker. eff any of the pres
;dents but had a mind of their own
we might expect such things, but they
haven't. I venture to say that out
side of New England probably the
change would be appreciated"
Even New England would not OBJ
iect to the change" said DR.. Clark,
who was born and raised there. New
Enplanders know a good DISH
Il would go further than changing
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-12-13
h King of Rats.

An example of the rare phenomenon
known as the king of rats which
consists of seven living rats mex
tricably bound together by the in
terlacing of their tails, was discov-
cred last winter at ~Chateaudun. in
France. According to tradition the
king of the world of rats and mice
is accustomed occasionally to en-
throne himself, adorned with a gold
en- crown, upon a group of rats with
tails entwined, and records of instan-
ces of this curious phenomenon
are no lacking in books of natural
history. It is said that the king OF
rats is formed only in winter, when
the animals crowd together to keep
warm and the rodent friends of the
unfortunate prisoners are credited
with feeding them out of benevolence.
N. Y. World.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-12-13
A Classic Effort.

A member of parliament, after n
long and tiresome speech in which he
went into the dismal depths of politi-
cal economy, whispered to a friend:
At endeavored to use nothing but
classic language throughout my ad-
dress" sand you succeeded admira-
BLY," said his friend. at was al.
Greek for our audience."-Littls
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-12-13

-Hanna's ship subsidy bill is moth.
ing but a deliberate robbery of the peo-
pie, and it is not to be wondered at
that some republicans are gagging at
it. In the days of its ~degeneracy the
republican party is getting more ana
more down to the single basic principle
of grand larceny. That is about ali the
party stands for to-day. - Memphis
Commercial Appeal