The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1900-04-04

mer and never sent back the ring.
The New Suit-But surely you don't
despair! You will see as much of the
world as formerly, viii you not?
The Old Suit-No; my happiest hours
are over now. For n time to come you
will do all the mngling necessary. lust
as L did when was young and hand.
some
The New Suit-But our master re-
members you, doesn't he?
The Old Suit-Only when the tailor
who made me reminds him of nv ex.
istence. When we lose our beauty we
are soon forgotten and neglected-noth-
ing remains Of us save an entry on the
tallor's ledger and moss covered and
unreceipted bill
Inc New Suit-Im afraid you take o
pessimistic view of everything, OLD
chap.
line Old Suit-Pressimistic, my boy:
pressimistic is the word. I've been
pressed so often that all my original
lines of beauty are lost. The creases
ana crows feet Of old age are over and
ABOUT me. I'm baggy kneed, wrinkled
up old has been. am being saved up
Tor rainy day-saved up for a rainy
day, that's ALL
The New Suit-Oh, but 1 say, old
chap, you
The Old Suit-There's no use talk.
Ing, my boy; am older than you, and
know from experience just what will
happen. You will be trotted out in the
bright sunshine and shown off before
an admiring multitude; will be trot.
ted out when it's raining cats and dogs
and soaked to nv innermost Innings
with shrink producing liquids. You will
be hung Up carefully with all sorts of
newfangled arrangements to support
you; l will be hung up at my uncle's
II my owner thinks he can get enough
on me to make the trip worth while.
You will be carefully groomed and
brushed every day; l will be thrown
down behind a trunk and left there e.
1ret my life away, until some day
tramp Will come along and will 60 to
Join the army Of the unwashed. Oh, it's
the old. old story of the survival of the
fittest! You are new and elegant
therefore the fittest. Twiggy vous?
The New Suit-Then there are many
happy days in store for me, you thinks
The Old Suit-Oh, yes; lots of them.
Pretty soon you will be taken out to
see all the lovely girls. our owner
knows, and probably you will be Der.
mitted to put your arm around some
OF their waists, while l shall be left
alone here in the darkness, with moth.
Ing to remind me of the good old days
except an unpaid florists bill in nv in.
side pocket.
The New Suit-I'm jolly we'll sorry
for you, old chap. am
The Old Suit-Don't mention it. Your
day of sorrow will come soon enough.
Your trousers will probably be the first
to get the turndown-mine were. By
the way, are you American or Eng.
lish?
The New Suit-English, old chap.
The Old Suit-I thought your tone
was trife resonant. And then those
checks are formidable and foreign In
appearance. We Americans run more
to stripes. How's the prince?
The New Suit-Very we'll, l fancy.
shall keep my trousers turned up, for,
doncherknow, he'll be reigning in Lon.
don one Of these days-ha! ha! Deuced.
ly clever. isn't it, old chap? l saw it
in Punch, and Punch says some beast.
ly clever things. remember another
The Old Suit-Pardon me. | don't
wish to be rude. but what did you
cost?
The New Suit believe our owner
promised to pay f10 14s. for me, and
blow me if I'm not worth it, eh?
The Old Suit (aside)-Yes, you're like
a singed cat-you're uglier than you
look. (Aloud) Well, he promised to
pay $46 for me-$6 down and the rest
when conv. nient. My tailor got the Sc,
but 1t hasn't been convenient yet 1
hope your tailor has better luck. OF
course. though. the copyright laws will
protect him. Sh-s-s-s-s-h, here comes
our owner. 1t is Easter morning, and
he Is going to take you out on the
A'Sh"0JS' Noou iuCA W you, uy DOy.
Put on a bold front. and don't scare
the cable cars
The New Suit-Goodby, old chap.
Very glad to have met you. I'll see you
later.
The Old Suit-About daylight proba.
bly,. l know him better than you do.
Look out for the boobies. and don't
get pinched.-New York Herald.