Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1900-12-15
FOR SATURDAY SADNESS
BY DIOGENES.

bI DlOSENbo.
You may hitch your wagon to star,
but please give me an electric car.
with the prospects Of building oper-
atoms without end in Honolulu's bust
ness quarter during the twentieth CEN
fury. the first Legislature might well
consider II builders ought to be allowed
quite so much obstruction Of public
convenience as they now create.
The writer who concludes that Haw.
is the proper abbreviation Of Hawaii
must be related to the citizen of Wyan-
dotte who dated his letters "Y&." Hav.
would in time be cut down to the sten-
ographic sign for laughter. which looks
like ? with whiskers on II. Haw. haw,
haw!
Honolulu missed electric car traction
by being just year previous with the
mule charter. Now II looks as II Ha-
wall may miss telegraph cable by
not getting 1t before Marconi has APP
peared with a cheaper mode of electric
communication. Invention these days
would seem to be having a continuous
race with convenience. You may buy
today a thoroughbred watchdog, that
will be subject for cajolery. poison
and colic-not to mention the dog tax.
Tomorrow the chances are your nelsh-
Dor will have a taxable rubber dog
with a Photographic bark and electric
fangs. capable of being directed with
torpedo-like precision at footpad IN
its owners path or a trespasser on his
threshold. You would feel dog gone
cheap.
A prophet In the Ladies' Home Jour
nal gives. among other blessings OF
the twentieth century. the extermina-
ton Of mosquitoes at centers OF popula-
ton. II this isn't enough to make the
present Honolulu generation jealous NJ
posterity. nothing else will do it. With
mosquitoes wiped out. though. what
would there be left OF disciplinary
AGENCIES for strengthening OF the
communitys moral stamina? The ans
wer to such a question might well be
that the discipline Is rather overdone
in the mosquito scourge Why else is
leniently with the vice of swearing
and new-coming pulpiteers early drOr
1t from the category OF mortal sins:
Mosquitoes and cursing are simply
cause and effect.
II we can save taxes by doing with
out municipal government, we can
save a good deal more by getting Con-
gress to abolish the other kind of gov
eminent We now have. We can save
heaps Of money besides by going back
to grass houses-providing we can finl
grass to steal for building them withal
When the Canadian Tories held
sway in the popular branch of the Do,
minion Parliament, as well as in the
life appointive Senate-which. in that
party's eighteen years Of straightawa,
power they packed with their superan'
nuated partisans-they went back to IN,
raw times of Yankee politics to find I
scheme Of perpetuating their power
They found one to their hand in tn
"Gerrymander." Last winter the III
beral government, fully empowered b,
the peoples voice, undertook to abollsi
the "Gerrymander." What the thiul
is may be understood by the people o
Hawaii when told that II Is as II tn
Independent party here supposing tina
II had the power with Its legislativ
majority to change the boundaries o
electoral districts, should do so and, a
one of the changes made, should cary
= off corner of the Fourth and add
to the Fifth, and vice versa, so tina
enough Republican voters should b
taken from the Fourth and enough IN
dependent voters taken from the FIT
iboth together to destroy the Republi
lean majority in the Fourth without Ell
dangering very much the Independent
majority in the Fifth. That would b
a "Gerrymander." Former electio
returns would indicate accuratel
enough for the purpose the parts {
districts to be transferred. Well, tn
Tory-packed Senate threw out tn
measure, which simply proposed
= restore the ancient electoral landmark
!. The returns Of the recent general ele,
ton for the gerrymandered PROVING
of Ontario prove the party fidelity ,
the Tory Senators in rejecting the bill
With popular majority of but 1886
total vote of 377,552 the Tories cleo
ed 50 members out of 81. That is, wit
a popular excess of only 0.S7 per Gel
they elected an excess of G0.i3 per Gel
OF members. The Solid South shouI
take OF its hat to the Solid Tory Sena