The Virginia enterprise., 1900-10-26
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The dominant sex: He-"You haven't
the brain of j goose" She-"Have
ou?"-IAdianapols Press.
Irish cook Ito milkman)-"What
makes you come so early of late? You
used to be behind before" ."-Life
May-"Alsy and Pamela had fall
ing out last night" Clarence-'What
was the cause?" Maya hammock"
Harlem Life.
Pretty big: "Blowhard has big
opinion of himself" How big?"
We'll, he's beginning to imagine he's
annoyed by camera fends. ."-Puck.
Mother (at the door)-If you children
are not quiet in five minutes you will
have to go to bed. Small Voice (after
pause)-What time is it noW?-Judge.
Did he gain anything by his visit to
the Paris Exposition!" Yes; he says
he gained a better appreciation of the
Chicago Worlds Fair."-Chicago Post
er-in-law-"How like his father
the baby isl" Mother-"He's certainly
like him in some ways. He generally
keeps me up half the ht!'-Punch.
| Nimrod-'Pat, did you ever catch
frogs?' Pat-"Faith, an Oh did, SIR
Nimfod-''What did you bait with?"
Pat-''Begorry, OF bate 'em with
shtick. ."-Chicago News
|
Off His Mind: Didn't you feel dread
fully when you lost your headed
umbrella?' mo; I'd expected to lose it
for so long that was glad when it was
gone. ."-Chicago Record.
Your Uncle Toms Cabin seems like
brand-new play" "Of course; we've
fixed it up so Eliza crosses the ice on
an automobile, chased by lot of Box
rs."-Detroit Free Press.
Provision for the future: Mrs. Bon
ney-"Six motherless children, you say?
And can't you find work?" Tramp
"Oh, they're not old enough for that
yet, ma'am." m."-Brooklyn Life.
Did it with slam: II am willing to
do anything," said the applicant for
work. "All right" said the hard-heart-
ed merchant; please close the door be-
hind you when you so out."-Somer-
vile Journal.
Might Have Been Worse: "Tco bad,
old man, about your wife running
away. "Oh, it might have been worse.
l wonder that she did not take me
along to look after her trunks. III
dianapolis Press.
He helped him out: "And your step
father told you to get out into the
world and earn your own living? He
should have given you Il helping hand
He gave NE helping oot."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
memento of some kind in that locket
OF yours?" 'Precisely; it is a lock OF
my husbands hair" But your hus-
band is still alive" Yes; but his hair
is all gone.'-Tit-Bits.
Safe: Mrs Won Blumer-"Dear, dear,
l dropped my diamond ring off my fin
ger this morning, and l cannot find it
anywhere" Won Blumer-"It's all
right; l came across it in one of my
trousers pockets. ."-Bazar.
Vocal Possibilities: do you think,
professor" said musically ambitious
YOUTH that I can ever do anything
with my voice?' "Well," was the eau
tious reply, lit may come in handy to
hOller with in case of fire. re."-Answers.
Are you old enough to vote" asked
the tourist in North Carolina. Il dunno
erzackly what my age is, boss," replied
the colored man; ''but kin tell you dis:
l allus was old enough to know better
dan to try to te."-Washington Star.
A Peaceful Exit: did you have any
! words with your mistress which caused
you to leave your last place.? "Nivcr
Il wor-rd. Sure, an Oh locked her in the
bathroom, and TUX all me things, and
shipped out as quiet as yez plasc."-
BaZar.
College Student-How did you come
to lose the game? Captain Varsity
\ine-Why, their pitcher and catcher
had a set of signals that we couldn't
possibly understand or get on to; they
kept calling out to each other in Latin,
you know!
Its shape: what is the shape of a
ship going to pieces on stern and rock
bound coast?" asked Gaswell Of Du-
kane. Every bad shape, should say;
what shape would you call it?" a
wrecktangle." - Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
You told me to come and begin work
to-day" said the new boy. "Oh, yes"
replied the druggist, you may begin
by catching flies and putting them on
those sheets of Sure Catch Fly-Paper'
we're displaying in the Window
Philadelphia Press.
why do they have those glass cases
with the ak, hammer, crowbar, etc. in
on these cars" asked a traveller on the
railroad going to New York "Oh,
! To ~,