New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1900-06-10
GOOD NATURE SAVES HIS LIFE.
A FEW INCIDENTS FROM THE EXPERIENCE
OF A CENSUS MAN


United States" was all he said he pushed
past the tenant and marched with his hat on into
the sitting room and down. United States"
ne repeated Census; come. cough up
Yes said the tenant, "of course; but isn't it
a warm day for much cheerfulness and energy"
You're the right sort" he responded Thank
God. I'm cheerful yes. thank Cod He wiped
his face. IF I weren't I'd be dead, and it's hard
10 be a cheerful corpse There's gang of takers
round the office now, each tryin TO be the first
TO hand in his resignation, and it's ten or twelve
dollar day Job that. Why? Because they're
serious Jolly EN- up; jolly EN- up. It's the only
way 70 get along.
Say, you don't know what this business is until
you've tried IT he went he opened his book
Il can manage the men, but the women On,
Lord Who's the head of this house7'
We all are" said the tenant. This is bach
elor joint. and equality frugality and calamity
dwell herein You may put s at the head He
pays the bills and occasionally pay him
"An right" said United States. How old is he7
Where he born? When? Nationality? Pa
rents? Married. Single? Widow wdower'
How many children? Business2"
You may search me- said the tenant aghast.
We don't usually spend time discussing
these matters of vital interest"
We'll. you can guess. can't your returned the
agent Come be man. try hard How old do
you think he might be-"
Henry's age went down as thirty-one and hts
birthplace and his parents nationality settled
by similar processes of reasoning. The other ques-
tons accurately answered. except
month his birth.
Ever hear him say anything about Christmas
trees?' asked United States. and Henrys natal
month promptly became December. D. the
other inhabitant disposed of in the same way
ANY else?' said the agent OF the Govern
ment.
There's the housekeeper," answered the tenant.
tenant wendell his way toward the kitchen Car
rte" said he. addressing by that sylphIike name
the autocrat of the household, an sold German
woman, whose English IS inmitabIe. Carrie.
here's the taker"
''Not dat replied Carrie u atn'd got nod
dings for him. Might well he same as come Cd
der day. I tell him aind live here"
After the necessity of the case was made plain
10 her Carrie appeared and favored United States
with description OF her former welded life
her sojOurn farm. the kind OF crops raised
The advantage of East New-York as a dwelling
place and why she left IT for her present place
winding up with Of how the servants
in the apartment below. whom she characterized
briefly dose devils bothered her The ten
ant leaned back in hts chair and laughed and so
did United States. but he managed 10 extract IN
formation enough 70 satisfy him and closed his
You see" he said. IT'S always the women who
sTPDd OF h aans ts mGrpns and hey
we're maxim sunday school recitation. But the
women are terrors Now, in place ike this
the sixth floor, II go down TO the floor below
and the woman down there Il say to me Did you
come from the floor below? and ! say. Nom
begin at the top. Then she says Could / see
how old that woman is that lives up there? and
say No m. 500 fine and a years imprisonment =
the penalty for that information and size says
We'll, II l tell you how old I you won't show
II TO the woman below, will you? I say or
course not and that's the way goes.
1 ran across an lrshwoman. this morning" he
Went on, and she corker. on my soul
thought was goin 10 have a fall from a fourth
story window. She big round as barrel
and six feet tall Il she inch. Who's the
head OF this house, said I. I am she
doublin' up that like a prizefghter's
and stretchn' it till her fist right under
my nose am she said, my little man and
don't you forget it I shan't. I sudden
death right there. Are you married. said l. I
am. said she. worse luck. and you may put down
in that scrap basket of yours that husbands
l. I have said she; they're husbands. and
just as much use 10 me as ne is How old are
you? said !. How. old do you think I am? said
may be less than thirty I'm forty-fve.' said she
though, if I hadn't jollied her I'd certainly have
lost my life.
II was over here in - ST." he continued, and
a woman in a hotel met the door OF q
room. Married. single widow? I asked. You
may well put NE down widow, said she Grass
or under the sod said I. He's the turf said
she. That's the way il goes All kinds You
But il pays 10 be coed natured. II II wasn't FOR
that d be dead Much obliged TO you. Good morn
ing