The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-05-20
Mr.. DOOLEY ON
MARRIAGE AND POLITICS
Copyright. 1900. by R. H. RUSSELL

'T see." said Mr.. Hennessy that wan Nv
thin New York joods says a man in polly
tics oughtnt to be marrid."
"Oh. does hep" said Mr. Dooley. well,
it's little he knows about it. A man in pol
lytics has got to be marrid. If he amt mar
rid where'n he go FIR another kind iv
throuble? An where'n he find people TO
support? An unmarrid man don't get along
in pollytics because he don't need tn
money. Whin he's in tn middle Nv a
prim'ry, with maybe twinty thirty Nv tn
opposite party on top Nv him, thinks he to
himsilf: What's tn good iv' fightin FIR
job? They'se no wan depindant on me
FIR support an he surrinders. But mar
ried man says: What'n happen to me wife
an twelve small childher If I don't win
out here to-day? An he bites his way
to tn top iv tn pile an breaks open tn
ballot box FIR home an fireside. That's tn
thruth Nv it. Hinnissy. Yell find all tn big
jobs held be married men an all tn timpry
clerkships be bachelors.
eth reason tn New York jood thinks
marrid men oughtn't to be in pollytics is
because he thinks pollytics is sport. An
SO it is. But it amt amachoor sport,
Hinnissy. They don't give We ptwter
mug with ye'er name on 1t FIR takin'
a chanst on bein' kilt. 'Tis Professional
sport. like playin' baseball FIR Twin or
wheelin' a thruck. Ye niver see an anna
choor at anything that was as good as
a professional. TIL best amachoor ball
team is beat be a bad professional team,
a professional boxer that thrains on book
beer an Swiss cheese can lam tn head of
a goold medal amachoor champeen that's
been atm moldy bread an dhrinkin'
wather fr six months, an tn Dago that
blows tn cornnet on tn sthreet FIR what
amy wanl throw him can put tn figure
eight around Dinnis Finn, that's been TAX
in lessons FIR twenty year. No, sir. polly
tics amt dhroppin' to tea, an it amt
wurrukin' a scroll saw or maxim a garden
in a back yard. IT'S gettin' up at o'clock
in tn mornin' an r-rushin' off to wurruk
an comm home at night tired and dusty.
Double wages FIR overtime an SUNDAYS.
$50 mans got to be married to do II
well. He's got to have a wife at home to
make him uncomfortable if he comes in
dhrunk. he's got to have little prattlin'
childher that he can't sind to tn Young
Ladies' Academy onless he stuffs ballot
box properly, an he's got to have a
sthrong desire FIR to live in tn avnoo an
be seen dhrivin' downtown in an open car
redge with his wife settin' beside him
undher fred parasol. If he hasn't these
things he won't succeed in pollytics-or
rackin' pork. Ye niver see big man in
pollytics that dhrank hard, did We? We
niver will. An that's because they're all
marrid. Tn timptation's sthrong, but fear
ia stronger.
9Th most domestic men In the wurruld
ARE politicians. an they always marry
early. An that's tn sad part Nv it, Hinnis-
sy. A pollytician always marries above his
own station. That's wan sign that he'll be
a successful POLITICIAN. TIL throuble Is,
tn good woman stays planted just where
she was, an he goes by like fast thrain
by whistlin' station. Dye mind OLeary.
him that's a retired capitalist now, him
that was alderman, an drainage thrustee
an state sinitor FIR wan term? Well, whin
I first knew O'Leary he wurruked down on
a railroad section tampin' tn track on
wan-fifty day. He was sthrong, willin'
young fellow, with stiff right-hand punch
an schamin brain, an annywan cud see
he was intinded to go to tn front Tn
aristocracy Nv tn camp was Mrs. Cassidy,
tn wildly lady that kept the boardin'
house. Aristocracy, Hinnissy, is like rale
estate. matter Nv location. I'm aristoc-
racy to tn poor O'Briens back In tn alley,
tn brewery agents aristocracy to me. his