Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-01-09

There are nine in town, but all are III
| the pen with you!''
1T was so,' continued the drummer,
land things might have gone hard with
| us had it not been for the fact that the
| judge was there. too but had just
| stepped out as the raid was made. Moth
| ing was said about it, of course, but he
| let us off with fine of 81 each and lot
OF fatherly advice, Washington Post.
Sue. lwho has just been asked to pla:
something on the piano)--"I really can't
| play anything"
"Tommy-'But, I say, Sue, why don't
you play that piece you spoke to me
Sue--"What piece"'
Tommy-''Why, that one you told me
to ask you TO play when we had COM
pany, cause you know it better'n any of
the others. | forget the namev'
Then Tommy was sent to bed.-Tit-
Bits.
1t costs nothing to be ordinarily polite,
even under adverse circumstances, and it
generally pays. A passenger in sleep
ing car, who was tired and sleepy and
wanted to go to bed, called out to a man
who had just entered the coach ard was
hurrying through it:
Say, isn't it about time to have these
berths made up?'
What do you take me for?' apgrily
replied the other stopping and coming
back. DO look like a sleepingcar con
ductor?"
No rejoined the tired passenger, look
ing up at him YEARLY. You do not. |
| beg your pardon. My observation is that
| a sleeping-car conductor is always a gen
tleman. Youths Companion.
The caution of some people in giving
an answer to direct question was well
Illustrated the other day, when a young
fellow, whose family were not noted for
very active habits, was asked: Il hear
that your fathers death was very sud
den?" Slowly drawing one hand from
his pocket, the Intercepted one cautious
ly replied: "Ay, it was unco' sudden for
him. | ne'er knew o my feyther bein'
in hurry before
General" exclaimed the Filipino Il
have just made a highy-important dis
covery" What is it, 4 am in
formed on undoubted authority that the
world is round What do we care?'
well. general. it might be well to take
precautions against retreating; so fast
and Unexpectedly collide with the en-
emy's rear guard. Washington Star
\ wel-known London alderman recent
~ took a cab to his residence, which is
near Il cemetery, and offered the man
Is pence, which was just his legal fare
and no more. Cabby locked ct the coins.
slowly deposited them in his pocket and
said, pointing to his horse Dye see
that little white oss with the short tail?''
Yes said the alderman, rather puz-
zled; what of him. oh nothing:
only | 'opes as the next time you're
brought here as it'll be by black 'oss
with a long tail. Evenin', sir
what on earth are you bringing all
those umbrellas in here for?" asked Mrs.
Van Fashion. as Mr.. Van Fashion puffed
into their bedroom with an armful of rain
interceptors.
Why, | thought that reception was
due tonight?'
Yes; and you are afraid the guests
will steal them, are you?'
Not at all. l am afraid they will
recognize them. Life.
y notice that one of the handwriting
experts in the Molineux murder trial is
a raiser of fancy fowls
That makes him familiar with the
style of handwriting that looks like hen
scratches, l suppose. '-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Mr.. Erdnuss (reading the newspaper
Der baber says dose smart boys in der
teatrical pizness hef found anudder play
to git money from der Christians"
Mrs E.-'What is it?"
Quo Nadis.'
$50. Und what actor hef dey got to
play Quo Nadis ?'-Metcalfe in Life.