The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1900-07-19
! MIR. LIMKINS' TOAST !
Z Trom the Wausau, Wis, Philosopher, Re
printed by Special Permission.)

i have something u say w you' Nv
down that paper; want your whole at
tention.'
Mr.. I,jmkins reversed the cross of his
legs, and shifting his paper slightly SO
as to cover his face, continued to read.
81 want you to wake up a little con-
tjnued Mrs. Limkins. You are the
most stupid man in this town. You
come home from the office at night, eat
YOUR supper, smoke, read your paper
and go to bed; eat your breakfast III
the morning and go to thenttice. You
come home again at night, eat your
supper. smoke read your paper, go to
bed; and so it goes day after day. |
don't get dozen words out Of you day
in and day out, and you do not even
want to listen to me, when | talk. If
want to 90 out anywhere in the even
ing. I have to go alone. You have al
WAYS some excuse for staying at home.
If | invite my friends here, you have
usually some business that takes you
out. Ny friends never see you with
me, and hardly know have husband.
"This sort of life may suit you, but.
it does not suit me. You have your
business and other things to interest
you during the day, | suppose, while !
am shut up here in the mouse; and
when you come home in the evening !
want something else besides supper,
smoke and Tribune. Now ] intend to
make a change" Here Mrs. Limllins
deftly took the paper from Mr.. Linn
lxins, ard rolling it up in her hands.
proceeded to use it to point off her re-
marks.
Mr. Limllins yawned submissively,
dumped the ashes from his cigar into
the silver card tray, and settled himself
as comfortably as possible to wait for
the end. Mr.. Lmkins had heard these
remarks many times before; he knew
the story from beginning to end, and
also knew it was useless to try TO es-
cape any part or defend himself III any
way. Experience had taught him that
it was best TO sit quietly and take it
remaining silent to the end
"Silas," continued Mrs, Limkins.
shaking the crumpled Tribune at him
viciously. II have made up my mind
not to stand this sort of thing any long
er; all my friends take their husbands
around with them and | have decided
to bring YOU out"
Mr.. Limkins said: ooh" and grew
nervous. Mrs. Limkins was evidently
more determined than usual, and he
began to fear that she had some sort
of scheme up her sleeve that would
disturb his comfort.
The Daughters of the Revolution
and their husbands are going 10 have
banquet next week" said Mrs. Linn
bins. There will be several toasts and
Ihave arranged TO have you respond 10
the toast Our Sons "
Great Scott" exclaimed Mr.. Lin
kins, waking up and staring helplessly
at her.
II will write out your speech" said
Mrs. Limkins, paying no attention to
his interruptions; ''all you will have to
do will be to commit it to memory and
repeat it at the banquet"
NO, by thunder" said Mr.. Limkns,
with considerable heat. ''If | make
speech to your Daughters of the Revo-
luton 1t will not be any womans make
up, can tell you. TO begin with,
haven't time to monkey with any such
nonsense; but if did would make my
own speech--and | wouldn't have to
write it out first, either Do you think
/ can't make a speech? Why, | could
make a speech that would knock out
anything any of your Revolution
Daughters husbands could do-just
off-hand-Jim Perkins, Lem Stubbms
or any of the rest of them. Mebby, you
think because there are n lot of stuck
up lawyers and professors in your set,
that | can't trot in their class. Some
day I'll fool you, Mrs. Limkin8." And
putting on his hat, Mr.. Limkins blus-
tered out of the house leaving Mrs
Limkins in doubt as to whether he
would, or would not, carry out her
plans.
This was just the sort of impression
Mr.. Limkins wanted to make on Mrs
Limlins, for from the very first mcn-
ton of it, he was rather taken with
the idea of making that speech but did
not want to appear too willing. Mr.
Limkins belonged to a class of men
who go through life with an idea that
they are born for better things. Ever
lastingly thinking that they could have
shone in some other fellows place If
they had had the opportunity Men
tally sure that they have a natural tai
ent for some calling of which they
know absolutely nothing.
Mr.. Limkins welcomed this oppor-
tunity as something he had always
longed for; but he wanted Mrs. Linn
kins to think he was doing it under
protest.
AS Mr.. Limllins strobe along in the
moonlight, he felt particularly salts
fled with himself and he made up his
mind that his speech should be mas
terpiece. lie would make Stubbins
and Perkins turn green vii envy. With
that speech he would make a lasting
reputation. Mrs. Lim'<ins should know
nothing about it in advance; he would
make it a complete surprise to her.
And then how proud she would be of
him: and how muph If wOuld add to his