The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1900-04-20
His SPOKESMAN
An Old Joke Proved False.
hXET HATS the matter, June Bride

Wv groom You lock OUT Ol
SORTS" said Mr. Golden Wedding, as
they met on the Staten Island ferryboat
MY locks do not belle my feelings. ]
feel out Of sorts" answered the young
man, disconsolately.
What's the matter, young man?'
asked Mr.. Golden Wedding, cheerfully.
Mad because you couldn't go to the
front, or did that wonderful baby keep
you up all night?''
"Oh, if that baby howled from dark
till day | wouldn't get up to touch it.,
retorted June Bridegroom, in an in
jured tone. "No, the baby isn't bother
ing me and I've ceased to want TO go
10 the front. The fact of the matter is,
Mr.. Golden Wedding, I'm expecting
some interesting charges and attacks
and skirmishes at home this summer,
to say nothing of a little bushwhacking
and guerrilla warfare"
Tut, tut; tell me what's the matter"
said The old man.
"Fcllis-in-law," was the answer, de-
livered with feeling. They're coming,
my wife's mother, her two sisters, her
brother, who is a college junior, and
her 12-year-old brother, who is-wcll, /
was about to say the very devil him
self, but | won't. Yes, they're coming,
next week, and they're coming to stay
through the month. BY JCve, how [
dread it! But guess ought to stand
it since fOlks-in-law are necessary evils
| never could understand why some
of my married friends used to advise
ne as bachelor to marry girl, who,
like Topsy, jes' growed, girl without
relative in the world. | understand
now. You see know what am talk
ing about, Mr.. Golden Wedding. / had
'em for month last summer, and it's
awful"
Mr.. Golden Wedding fairly roared
Then he remarked: you talk about
your wife's relatives as if they were
jim jams"
I'm like the small boy who never
could see the difference between cause
and effect said June Bridegroom.
You're so we'll along in years that j
suppose your folks-in-law have all
died.
YES" answered the old man, with
a sigh of unaffected regret, "I'm sorry
TO say they are dead. The happiest
. memory of the past is the visits that
we used TO have from my fo1ks-in-law.
and Mrs. Golden Wedding says she loves
nothing better than to think over the
happy hours spent with her people-in-
law. L know you think me crazy, be-
cause nine men and nine women out
OF every ten run down their folks-in-
law. They begin to do this because
they think it is the proper thing to
DO, 1T becomes second nature with them.
and finally man and wife end by really
dlsilkIng each others relatives. That's
most unjust thing to do, and it makes
ne lar less comfortable and smooth for
4 couple. June Bridegroom. take the
ADVICE OF an old man and experienced
one In all points Of matrimony; learn
20 DE fond of your folks-in-law, and
leach your wife to be fond of hers.
You ask how? This way Do not treat
hem as folks-in-law. You know nv
VIE and l were married SO years ago
asst December. The term 'in-law' has
never once been used in our family in
elerence to our own relatives.
Ny mother was the dearest lit
lie white-haired woman in The
World. When l took my sweet
heart home for the first time after
our engagement was announced she
net her and said: You are my daugh-
er, dear, and l am your mother. You
nave just as much right in this home.
Iust as much right to our love as my
own daughter has, and / want YOU to
begin now to call ne mother. / never
want the term "in-law" to enter your
mind. much less pass your lips about
TINS Family, and want my son to feel
exactly the same way about your
parents and sisters and brothers. Let
tins ee one marriage in which no in
laws figure was amazed and so was