Gloucester County Democrat., 1900-08-16
GHEAl llIAIIK.SIEIIER
Republican Lilliputiatls
and CULVER Reed.
FUNNY SIDE OF POLITICS.
Perry S. Heath Would Ostracize
the Man From Maine.
TRIBUTE TO Splendid GENIUS.

Thomas Il. Reed Loves His Country
BETTER Than His Party-Peanut Pol
itics In Regard to AIr. Bryan-Ted-
dy II a Boomerang Candidate.
Judge Jaek.onsa Pointed Remarks
Anent the Pension Office.
Especial Washington letter.
What pity that Jonathan Swift, the
mighty dean Of ST.
return to eartlft Certainly the funniest
thing and tie most preposterous that
haA haIpened on earth since the Lii
iilssKians undertook to conquer Gull
liver is the determination Of Perry s.
Heath ct i'd omne genus to ostracize
Thomas Bfackett Reed in the present
campaign. The unutterable scorn with
which that intellectual Titan must re-
gard his pygny prosecutors needs the
| furious genius and merciIess pen of
Swift to describe it. 'Twouid be worth
ten years Of peaceful life to see big
Tom roll in to Republican headquar-
ters while Perry and his petty political
pirates are in council as to how they
viii bobble the man from Maine.
Blessed stars, how they would take
to cover, get out. vameose. skedaddle.
absquatulate!
The Lilliputians drew up certain
regulations for the conduct of Gulliver.
whom they called .'The Man Noun
tain" which regulations / commend to
Perry ct al. in their endeayor to tie
up Mr.. Reed. Here they are:
"First-The Man Mountain shall not
depart from our dominions without our
license under our great seal.
''Second-He shall not presume to
come into our metropolis without our
express orders, at which the inhabit-
ants shall have two hours warning to
keep within doors.
Third. The said Man Mountain
shall confine his walks to our principal
highroads and not offer to walk or lie
down in a meadow or field Of corn.
Fourth. he walks the said roads
he shall take the utmost care not to
trample upon the bodies Of any of our
loving subjects. their horses or car.
riages and not to take any of our sub
jects into his hands without their own
consent
Most brilliant American.
Surely the ferocious Swift when be
wrote "Gulliver's Travels" must have
had In his minds eye the events now
transpiring about Republican head
quarters. TnquestionaBIy Reed is The
Man Mountain. and it would be awful
If he should walk or lie down in the
Republican meadows or fields Of corn,
and in the language of rule 4 for the
protection Of the Liiliputians our Re
publican Man Mountain should take
the utmost care not to trample upon
the bodies Of any of Perry's chums,
| especially those Of Mark HaaRa. VIII
liam Mckinley and Teddy Roosevelt.
Thomas Beackeft Reed is easily the
most brilliant man in America. He is
the greatest Irving Republican. His
most patriotic act was IN resigning his
seat Ia cor gress. and with it the speak
ership, because he could not lndorse
the tIEA nlef'tcan policy Of tie Me-
x tt4A4s - Af&9 SSAt7
nal credit be it said that he possessed
independence enough OF soEl to volun-
tarily lay doNn the political Office sec
ond IN pesgcr and importance only 60
the presidency eAeerfully gave up its
emolnments -and retired 10 priyata life
because be loved his country better
than his party. No higher Tribute could
be paid 10 his splendid genius than
that he slouia be feared aud therefore
hated BY tie Ditiful dWarfs who are
now running the Republican machine
They hayen't brains enough to compre-
hend The Man Mountain, they haven't
generosity enough TO admire him, they
haven't strength enough to tie Linn.
aud they haven't money enough to buy
him.
Peanut Politics.
All decent men viii agree that it is
peanut politics. to say nothing worse
of it. 10 drag Bryan's domestic affairs
into the campaign and parade the fact
TO the world that Mrs. Bryan now en-