The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1900-11-01


A Yorkshire clergyman, the other
day, visiting poor man who had Just
lost his little boy, endeayored to con-
sole him. The poor man burst Into
tears, and In the midst of his sobs ex-
claimed: III 'twarna ag'n flaw A
should ha' liked to have t'little beggar
stoofed."
Prof. Simon J. Brown, the new astro-
nomical director of the Naval 0bservar
tory at Washington, occasionally In
dulges In bit Of humor. On one occa-
sion a colleague came Into his office,
and, nnding the professor standing,
said: rs 1t possible you work that
way1 cannot stand standing
That's peculiar" replied Professor
Brown. quickly; now. do you know. |
cannot stand sitting|
A visitor at a Columbia, Mo-, school
the other day asked one Of the lower
grade classes this question: What Ia
the axis of the earth?" IAN imagin-
airy line passing from one pole to the
other, on which the earth revolves,"
proudly answered a pupil. YES" said
the examiner, well pleased, land could
you hang a bonnet on lt?" Yes, sir"
Indeed! And what kind Of bonnetr
AN imaginary bonnet, SIR" The visit
or asked no more questions.
During the honeymoon Of Mr.. and
Mrs. Gladstone, it Is said that the
young member of Parliament said to
bis bride: do you prefer to know
nothing and to be free of all response
bility, or will you hear everything and
be bound to strict secrecy?" Mrs.
Gladstone was far too true a woman
not to choose the second alternative,
and she never betrayed the trust re-
posed In her-a course which naturally
compelled her often to appear indiffer-
ent or Ignorant of what was going on.
Indeed, at one time stories of Mrs.
Gladstone's obtuseness were widely
current In society. In lSS. an indis-
Greet lady asked Mrs. Gladstone how
her husband was bearing up under the
many vehement attacks made on him.
II do not think he Is much affected by
them" replied Mrs. Gladstone, for l
hear him every morning singing In his
bath" "He Is like a kettle, then" re-
piled the lady. (which sings when full
of hot water"-a retort which. though
1t may not have pleased the wife of the
premier, probably appealed to her sense
of humor
Edward Hanlan. ex-champion oars
man of the world relates a good story
of how he delivered speech after
winning his second race In England.
His first victory had found him unpre-
pared. He was ready for his second
with a speech, composed for him by a
newspaper friend. neatly copied out on
paper and stored away for use in his
coat pocket. When the crowd outside
the clubhouse insisted upon seeing and
hearing the winner, he was helped out
upon a window ledge by his friends.
and held there by the coat-talls and the
legs. The crowd cheered him wildly.
He was too confused TO speak. They
cheered him again. He threw out his
hand In gesture of helplessness. and
moved his lips in some lnaudlble num-
BILE of apology for his inability to de-
liver a speech. They could not hear on
account of the noise that they were
themselves making, but they encour.
aged him with generous applause.
lie saw his escape, and proceeded to
-hake his head and work his Inns in
Inc frenzy Of oratory. gesticulating
rloquently and smiling his thanks. The
noisy and good-natured crowd cheered
him to the echo, and his friends drew
him In from his precarlous position on
the window ledge. You carried that
crowd along In style" they congratu-
lated him; what did you say? We
couldn't hear you" Eyes, give us an
idea of your speech" the reporters nut
In. drawing out their note books. Han
Ian took the manuscript from his peck
ct. Here's the whole thing" he said:
do you want II allT" "Well, rather. ("
hey answered; that speech made a
t."
,ead crows are silent mem entoea