The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1900-06-10
Fun of the Word

other member of the house One OF the
| best in his reoertory is the tale OF The
| darkey and the 'pcssum which WIS told
/ in the senate cloakroom the other day
apropos OF the patronage Senator De-
pew is supposed TO enjoy but which is
quietly absorbed by his senior colleague.
negro epicure caught a fine. large
possum, skinned. dressed, and hung 1t
Before q blazing fire under spreading
/ tree and while il was baking 10 a deIec-
ao.e brown lay down on the ground and
went 10 sleep beside It, About the time
the 'possum was done q slick little dar-
key happening that way stole the pos
sum and ate it up. Then he took the
bones and laid them down in front OF
his sleeping brother, creased his tips with
'possum grease and smeared 'possum
grease over his fingers. When the
owner of the 'possum awoke he looked
about dazed and surprised TO find his
piece de resistance gone, but the bones
lay in front OF him. he saw the grease
upon his fingers, and tasted II upon his
lips is il pos Bile he said. Il dun
eat dat 'possum when I was sleep? I
smell 'possum, tas' 'possum, an dar IS
de bones. 1t sartainly Go look like I
mus hab eat him, but 70 God dat daT
'possum run hab less feet on my con-
sutton dan emmy ole 'possum 1 ever
did eat befo'."
z z x z
II stopped over in Nevada on my way
East" said William Percival OF San
Francisco. at the Hoffman House, in
New York, ITO look after some mining
interests 1 have there and al Carson
City a man told me a capital story. a
mining strike had been made in near
by portion Of the state which turned out
to be of such premise that respecta-
BILE camp soon sprang up around 1t. The
two principal mine owners were respect
lively an Irishman and Jew and as a
delicate compliment 10 these leading cit
liens the rest Of the miners left il to
them 10 bestow name upon the new
camp The two had many conferences,
but could not reach an agreement, for
the Irishman stood out for name taken
from the Emerald Isle. while the jew
was for one that would be suggestive
of the chosen people. The rest of the
miners finally became restless and
threatened to name the camp them
selves if an end was not put to the de-
lay, and this led the pair to compromise
and name the new camp Tipperusalem.
Rather neat and suggestive name,
don't you Think"
x x q
Dr. David Ward. the richest man in
Michigan and known as the David
Harurn OF that stale, left fortune OF
So, eco when he died the other day.
One day last summer he went into a
distant part of his pine-land empire and
discovered a man cutting down trees
Here was a chance for this David Ha-
rum sort of an old man and he did not
let it escape.
rs this your timber?' asked the old
cit N a fine hir
the woodman had just felled.
NO" said the chopper, resting TO chat
awh lie with the stranger.
Whose is it?''
"Oh. it belongs to old Ward. He owns
all this timber"
Are you cutting it for him."
NO; just cutting up my winters
wood
Ward would be mad if ne knew you
were cutting it, wouldn't he?" asked the
little old man.
Would he be mad? Well, l should
think he would. He's as stingy about
his pine as if he needed it all"
Have you cut much of it?'
Yes: I've got about eight cords of it
slowed away"
"Wher've you got it?' asked the old
man in the same squeaky sort Of voice.
The woodman showed him where Il
was hidden. Ward began to cackle and
grin and as he started away he said:
Much obliged; I'm old Ward"
A committee called upon him for sub
scription to the capital stock of the
building company.
I'VE will call the opera house The
Ward" said the chairman Of the COM
mittee. 'It will be a monument TO your
generosity. and besides helping the
t4-tIE ia a n Measure n
the people
Il wouldn't have anything to do with
building an institution where working
people could spend their money so fool
ishly," he said dryly.
"Oh, all right, Mr. Ward. You'll help
US, then, to build our new Baptist
church. won't you?'
You know when Christ was on earth"
began Ward.
Yes. yes" said the chairman. drawing
closer.
You know Christ was very poor
Didn't have dollar and he didn't 20
around asking people for money. He got
along first rate, too
u EgR
Sam Bedford relates a good joke that
occurred al Calhoun, Kentucky. this
week in Judge OWENS court a case
was on trial. and the Judge was being
worried by a young man who kept NOV
ing about In the rear Of the court room,
lifting chairs and looking under
benches
Young man." Judge owen called.
you are making a great deal Of unnec-
essary noise. what are you about?"
your honor replied the young man.
4 have lost my overcoat, and am try
ing to find it,"
We'll" said the Judge. people often
lose whole suits in here without making
all that disturbance"
sag
\ Chicago girl writes 10 a friend about
her hero, who is a soldier IN the Phil
ippines. she says: Il got a letter from
-. He Is getting along splendid He
has been assigned 70 the guard-hoVse for
five DAYS. Says II is a pretty hot place.
but then, you know. he never shri-ks
from his duty. ia and I are naturally
proud to hear OF his promotion"
Sz gg
A little girl vas taken TO see the bap-
tism n a BAPTIST church. She was very
much Interested n the ceremony and
seemed devoUtiy impressed The aext
Gay her mother found her staining b.
q washtub alled with water and heard
her say. 10 her doll "In the name q
the Father. son. and in the hole he
goesi" AID then gravsly duckiug &
When President Kruger was las; IN
he received viHsg from tie
Duke q AbercoTn. IN the course o.
which his grace informed OcTn Paul th7t
he himself bad been for years a member
% TIE British loWsr house. and that hls
father had been lord lieutenant q Ire
land The president evidently consf5ere5
that rs guests present rank was 4 great
rise n lcfe. for Ee exclaimed, AssuIy. (
str5n s-af'u fse,s NfFlr- ny father s-aH ole