Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1900-08-23

r
want to keep 1t to hit the crowd with
tonight l want the biggest, bustinest
crowd to gather here tonight that the
town of Jericho has ever seen. Give
every man notice as he drops IN today,
and along about 7 o'clock III hey the
fire bells rung and the horns footed.
Tel 'em it's big thing, pap; tell 'em
it's sunthin that's bound to Jump this
town over q ten rail- fence and make
city lots wuth a thousand dollars
apiece
There was good deal OF excitement
around town that afternoon, and when
night came the crowd at the postoflce
was as big as the time when war was
declared ag'in Spain. Most Of 'em
thought Bill Lapham was goin to de-
ciar war ag'in Mexico or Canada. and
everybody was lookin pale when Dea-
con Spooner called the meetin to order
and said:
rSone of freetiyBs we isvv sothess.fi
here tonight to hear some remarks
from our esteemed feller townsman,
William Lapham, and we kin take II
that them remarks will go beyand
geese and goslin's. Make your pint,
Bill"
"My pint is this" says Bin as he
draws a long breath and steps out to
git room. I'VE ar now in the midst
Of the turmoil Of q political cam
Daign. Somebody Is goin to be elected.
/ aiIi't sayin who it'll be, but the gold
en- opportunity fur which Jericho has
sighed is at hand When the newly
elected official takes the oath Of Of
fee. he will be escorted to and fro"
"That's k'rect" says Deacon Spooner
as Bill pauses fur breath. ''The speak
er amt through yit. but he's made a
pint already When he refers to the
turmoil of campaign. It's not only high
flown language, but strong pint. Go
ahead. Bill"
That escort VIII not only do the pres
ldent proud" continued Bill, 'but
every man in It viii be mentioned by
all the papers In the United States.
They'll speak of his wife and children
and town aud home, and he'll be a big
man fur the rest Of his life. He kin be
elected sheriff without opposition, and
If any one runs agin him fur the legis-
lature they'll be showed under. What
Pm here tonight fur is to ask the ques-
lions: Why not organize the Jericho
GuardsY And why shouldn't the
Jericho Guards be that escortT'
There was yellin and whoopin fur
the next five minits, but when the dea-
con could make himself heard he said:
TITS pint, gentlemen-six or seven
p'ints. I've read all the speeches ever
delivered by Henry Clay or Daniel
Webster. and both Of 'em put together
never made the pints our Bill Lapham
has. Bein hev the floor. I'll say
favor the idea Yes, sir. I'm with It
heart and soul want my name TO
go down fust fur the Jericho Guards,
and I'm even willin to sacrifice myself
and be captain Of the company. S'posin
we hear from Abner Jones on the sub
3ectn
II s'pose it's known In this town that
my great-grandfather was killed at the
battle Of Monmouth says Abner as
he gets off the counter, though l aInt
braggin about It IN Jest say that
I'm willin to die fur my country any
time I'm called upon. and If Pm elected
captain of the Jericho Guards I'll
promise that no invader shall set foot
on these shores and live for FIVE min
tts.1
"Thar's pint IN thai" says the dea-
con as be looks a bit put out. when
o mans willin to die fur his country,
that's pint In his favor, but of course
we want to bear from other patriots.
How is II with you, Moses PlumberT
Does any man here doubt that I'm
willin to die fur America" 2" asks Moses
as he draws himself up. MY great
grandfather didn't die at Monmouth
but the blood of them seven uncles Of
mine that fell durin the civil war flows
ln my veins. and my watchword Is