News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1900-06-20

needed this money before you would
have asked for it. Not having any
need of it and having perfect conf
dence in my financial integrity, you
have held the bill till this date. Ex-
actly ten weeks and SO"
Eyes, sir, $70," replied the landlady
as she moved about uneasily.
"While it is only trite," continued
the major as he looked the bill over
again, sit should be paid and the books
balanced-that is, if there is any
thing coming to you it should be paid
at once; if there is anything coming to
me I'll give you 80 or 60 days to square
up"
But how can there be anything COM
ing to you?" protested the la1dlady.
"We can't tell until we have figured.
My dear woman, my treasure of a
landlady, let me say at the very outset
that l am perfectly satisfied with your
table, and as for my room kings have
had far worse. If you will kindly go
over the past in your memory you will
admit that l have not made one single
fectly satisfied"
"Then the bill is all right?'
Perfectly all right-couldn't be bet
ter. Let me see. When | organized
the Universal Hand Organ trust let
you in on the ground floor for $4,000
worth of stock, l believe. That stock
ought to have given you dividends Of
at least $1,000 a year"
"But it didn't, major. The whole
thing busted up, you know"
"Ah, / remember 1t was not a bust
up, but the Hand Organ trust was con-
solidated with the Great American
Antiblizzard syndicate. l haven't the
books here, but if my memory serves
me right presented you with 100000
worth of stock. If your annual income
from that stock has reached the sum
of $10000-if you have been enabled
to purchase
"But | never saw any stock" pro-
tested the landlady. you said some
thing about it one day, but a week
later you claimed that you had dropped
the scheme for better thing. You
owe for ten weeks"
LET me see" unused the major-"let
me see. Did drop the Hand Organ and
Antiblzzard trust for surer thing?
All, it comes back to me! Yes; we let
go of it to take up and push to success
the International Nursing Bottle mo-
nopoly. Object was to control the man
ufacture and sale of all the nursing
bottles in the world. Any mother who
refused to buy one of our bottles had
TO feed her infant from trough. Each
and every one of our bottles was pro-
vided with a squirt gun, and when the
infant wasn't filing up on milk he was
squirting at flies and developing his
craftsmanship. That monopoly was
capitalized at $50,000,000, | believe.
You were let in on the ground floor.
AS my landlady | took you in first Of
all. My dear woman, If your dividends
on that stock
"But / haven't had any. That was
another of your schemes that busted"
The major looked at her for n mo-
ment in doubt and perplexity, but then
his face cleared, and, reaching for heI
hand he shook it heartily and exclaim
cd.
my dear woman, what a business
head you have ON your shoulders
what head! 1t is no wonder thai
your landlord never has to come twice
for his rent and that the fame of your
table has spread abroad through the
land. Let me assure you that am no
only satisfied with everything up t
date, but l mean to continue on will
you indefnitely-for years and years.
"But you must pay. can't run m!
house unless my boarders pay"
"Whlle perfectly assured that the In