davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-18
Especial to Tho Post.l


New York. February 1T.-Atwood Violet
& Co. say of cotton
Out Of visible supply In America today OF
LA, 607 bales. 295, 954 are on shipyard await
Ing clearance. therefore. have been sold and
paid for and proceeds in the pockets OF it's
recent owners. The same is true doubtless OF
10000 bales moro now en- route to seaooard
and dor-estic mills. Northern spipners' TAX
ings and Southern consumption aggregated
last season 3,5iS .0G0 bales. While this be9son IL
will aggregate at least 100000. tho increase
already for the Two having been 227.Oo0
bales. Their aggregate so far is 2,4s3,OJ0.
leaving further requirements to August 81
next 100000 bales. Then again exports
from American after this time last year So re-
S.7O7 coo bales. but there Will not be snta-
eitnt from this CROP to export within 1000 700
of It. Tho Liverpool stock today is $4,000.
against l,671 900 last year Continental stock
$4,000. against $4,000. Amount afloat for
Europe sos $50. AGAINST 53S 49, But exports
to date are still 100000 behind last year,
The visible supplly1of other than American
Is only 226.300 bales against 29i .2O last year.
averaging 400 pounds each. II the above hg-
ures do not impart still more confidence to
the Southern spot holder we hardly know
what could produce such result.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-18

NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. per key. $4,000
4.25: BLASTING powder sl.s5 per key drop snot.
per sack $685. buck $3.50.
BACON-Ixtra snort clear. In sacks. 7AQ
fssc; regulars 7AQStsc: boxed i4c higher.
smoked bellies sNaSlAe; New York salt bel
BAGGlNG AND TlES-Less than car lots,
from Houston: Bagging, 2-lb 7G97Mc; 2k-ib
7Aq7%e;. Arrow ties sl.soal95;
CANDY--Sticls. wrapped. basis "a. 6h46&c
rer Id; SPECIAL sizes lsc higher
ANDLES-Star. .uil weight. l2hc: Gran
tic. full weight l1%c; Electric lights lie.
CEMENT-Portiand s2.75qS'25; Rosendalc
" c.oFFFEE-Rio. fair. s1sa1oo; prime 1o4a
1910: choice iU&@llAc: peaberTy lac; Cor
dova 12c. Roasted eoffees; ,Arbuekie's Ariosa.
basis l00-lb cases. 10. soc delivered; S6-lb cases
10 roc delivered; Lion. loO-ib cases. l3.OOc !;
Ae cyRsACKERs--A b soda. bulk boxes &c;
lib cartons Tiae; ginger snaps SCI creams
Sc; stage planks 61sc cakes and iumbles lic
fLOUR-Texas Star Mills: Tidal Wave
81 10; Sea Fairy $50; Sea Nymph $50: Sea
Jewel $50: rye h9Hr S.Go; num i T.
roin,s Quarter seeks are zoe higher than half
sacks and wood lie higher than half sacks.
FARiNACEoUs GooDs-Grlts, hominy and
cream meal. in barrels. So 55I2 Is; pearl meal
in 40-lb sacks. STOOL, so per Dbl of four
sacks. Scotch oats 80; Fslends' oats 50. so.
Columbia oats $40 Hawkeyo oats s2.lO.
leaf 7Sd7So; 5t-ib. cans &c higher than
tierces; lu.lb cans &c higher. 5'lb cans Mc
higher. BIB cans lie higher.
HAMS Standard ilh9llhc: picnic hams
TMoNEY-In barrels 5oa60c psr gallon: in
e0-lb cans extracted, 5UGs: In to,ab 9l1le
In 12.lb cans. extracted. 5lsd1c' pound acc
LiME~nnlk 81 90 per barrel; coopered sl.25
MoLASSES-Reboiied, fair lesaGisc; p,1ms
s0felc cLcice 2iEI2Gc; fany new crop syrup
S.GS3c: ire new crop syrup 45c
E-Enid Modal 81 20. Maklol!R 81 80.
Eagle $500. Empire 81 80.
PfCKLEs-Five gallon kegs SD: 10-gailon
kegs SO 90: lS-bbls 81 90; pints. American
style. s5ae0c: quarts. American style 81 25
iS-gal. s2.Opd2 rs: 1-gaL American style
Sc, l591S %. 1-gal.. HexaRon. s5,0n.
RICE--Extra fancy head 6n6kc; choice 5I
5jsc: fair 4Ib05c: fancy imported ShQSAe.
RCPE-Sisal. basis 7-l6 l0&e, Manila lie;
cotton rope Toe.
sALT-Liverpool. coarse s5a9oc fine s5eG
81 90; Louisiana coarse SIC; 1ne 90c; hbs,
2S-ios. s2.25 e0-5s $3.50: !0o-3s 800; 70-4s
SALT FIsH-Mackerei. No l in io-lb kits
81 .0eei1. To- half bills 81 so. tubs 50 ocasa 80:
mustard 81 l06f4.25 imported Gillette LraT
quarters sl1 so: fancy sprats. quarters 500
STARCH-Standard goods: Pearl. IN fe-lS
boxes Ssi Q37sc; Royal Gloss. bulk. S&4Ssc.
starch $40 pfr H. 20 and 40-ib boxes.
sUGAR-Quotations are for small lots. Spe-
oial prices are given on carload orders Starc-
ard sranulated l1-lSc; cubes ana powder -
Tide Louisiana yellow CHARMED. fancy oAT
Sssc: choice 5}sd5Ac; Arbuckle's Rib and BIB
packages. 55sQ6Me.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-18
New York Cotton.

New York. February 1.-THE cotton mar
ket opened easy. with prices to points low
err. and displayed more or less weakness.
following the call under pressure OF long
stuff. prompted by unfavorablo cables. The
customary support from the orders from Eu-
rope were not so numerous and were IN part
restricted by limits. Tho bear faction was
more reliant and even yentured to increase
it's obligation on the theory that the turnlns
point had been been reached. Wall street
ard other investment interests sold for prohts
pretty much throughout the short session
Reviews of trade were very much confused
II was very evident that Southern markets
were in position to hold their u own WIN .h Tn9
estimates the Might of foreign spinners was
believed to have been relieved but tenn
porarily by lato purchases the statlsnSoi ST
uation everywhere was strong, whiie the
short account here and IN Europe was de-
clared to be prodiglous Other SIDE was an
advance of llkc with no reaction. extreme
tinldity in outside speculative circles ana an
absence of bull leadership. The market Ior
futures closed very steady, with prices mel
| TO points lower.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-18
KANSAS CITY.

HIdIFNl HupVIItu VIII WIFI hui JNtTIHbHI
eorBfad hogs IN demand market bare.
KANSAS CITY.
Kansas City February II, -cattie-Receipts
for tho week i2o0o; unfayorabie weather
i.lated prices: iibsral receipts Friday caused
reseticn and plfces today are the same as
last weeks Quotations: heavy native steers
feeders s.5oGp5. IS. butcher cows and heifers
o.2sa5.oo: Gamers 2.5eG3.2o; fed Western
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-18
LIVE STOCK.
HOUSTON.
oal,es,on, Texas. February 1.-THE A. p

oaiN eston, Texas. February 1.-THE A. p.
Norman Live Stock company reports tho mar
ket as follows:
Beeyef~-
Choice per b.. gross. .....,.., 3ifM "a
Common. per ib.. gross......,. q az
Covs--
Choice. per b., Gross......... AKA sh
Common. per h.. gfoss........ 2A4 .
YeHrllngt--
Choice. per h.. gross. ......... 3ikG az
Common. per To-. gross......... q ga
Cslyee--
sss5ss '' g: I'll 81 ei ssss;.: ia 81
Hogs $50 10 200 lbs
Cornfed. per h.. gross. ...... q ~
Mnstf q. per h.. eross,,....... 3 n 81
a lieht demand Tor good beevos and COWS,
I mari 81 Etfnnfipd With egtxev and yqarliDa 4
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-18

DATES-i-lb packages ioc; scsib boxes &c.
IISs-gslifornis Ritc; impaired i5gsso.
PEACHES-Choice new stuck W; standard
sMc
RA1siNs--Callforpis. sscrown. L. l.. boxes.
RS. A-box L. L.eralsins e5V75c: 2-cfown
De W, u isins. SOTO boxes, 7sle: s-crown L,
N. srs.sihs terfb boxes, SHc
PRrNEse-cat ifornla, to-6os, 7te; eo-7os, &c;
sessQs. &c; S0-oos. ssxr. g0-lo0s, Be,
NITs=-BraEll. Zee per ib; hlberts, sicily,
1851; Naples l24c; walnuts lifll5c; peanuts,
fancy hand picked sac: No, Sc; almonds.
Tarpgona. Ice per ID in seeks peoans, un.
screered. slsu7iae; better grades, SGgc;
italian chcstnuts ioc
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-18

wGRE-Galvsnled Glidden $40; waukesan
s4s5
NAILS--S410 base. Advances for common
over base; Cd, zoe; I'd, 45e; 40 and sd, S0e Cd,
2oe, Sd 10c: Tod and t6d. 81. Quotations are
for less than car lots.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-18

houston 49, Gov This week. $500
G GToss reee.pts i6s days in 1859 3S3,-l
SIoss oaipts i6q DAYS in 1861. !, 2oa, loo
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-18

other spot mnrkeu.
t;alyeston-spots closed stesoyi pi''s' W.
changed. v Mtds,,ne SIS
Low crdinary'-ess Good middling. s 1916
Coco ordinary. y 1915 .iadiins iair al
- o,lsans-spots closed quiet and steady'
prices ,, Snuus 1915 Mlddiing ISIS
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-18
GRAIN AND HAY.

Carload lots. I. o. b. cars from miliers
dealers charge from store 5qloc more per 100
lbs on bran. 2d3e ner bushel on oats and corn
and l0Ml5c per 100 lbs on hay.
BRAN-per 100 rounds, 72d73c.
RICE BRAN--Per 100 lbs. SOC
WHEAT sHoRTs-Per 100 lbs e5aLo5.
CORNING, sacked 4iiaG45hc
CORN CH0PS-MiXed and pure SSdS5c.
oATS-Good No. Texas 3OdlSSc: OFF or no
grades 25q2Si5c: Kansas white No. 2 37I3sc
No. white S59s6c; slightly stained 50SsG
91Rc.
HAY-Aitalfa N4.5oIi5.o 90 per ton; timothy
$50: North Texas and Territory s9o00lo.OQ
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-18
CANNED GOODS,


CANNED FkuIrS-Pnneapples. 2-lh, eye
less and coreless SJ.s502.00; Glib extra grated
s2.QQu2.2o 2-lh standard, sliced, $3.50; pears
2.lb standard, zoe: peaches, 2-lb standard, slot
di.3e; standard S25Il 80: Glib seconds Sill,
sl;i5i s-lh standard $3.50; 2-lb pie sl0o9l TO-
5-lh pie Si.l5Il. 20.
CANNED VEGETABLES--Tomo ,oes, an
full weight s5I90c; 2-lh full weight e51I70c,
okra and tomatoes, alb, 9oc; Lima beans, 2-is
fun weight 75e: string beans. 2-lb full weight
7te: a No. l.stringless beans, alb full weigh
$780, red kidney beans, 2-lb full weight Sie
marrow fat peas. Glib full weight 81 1901 %;
early June peas, fancy. a-lb full weight si.so
American petit pois peas, fancy alb full
weight sl.65Ti75, asparagus. California, W.
10 5000 corn, Auburn cream. 2-lb full weigh
Sl.ioal.l5; A No. ], 2-lh full weight 81 .oS1l;io
Blue Ridge, 2-lb S0dS5c.
CALIFORNIA FRUfT--Extro standard 2M.
ID peaches, lemon cling slsoTe.0Q yellow
Crawford sl.s5&l.so; black cherries s2,10Ge, Is
white cherries S9I0Iei5 apricots si7Sl
iSO; strawberries $l,s5; piums 81 351i 40;
grapes slS5ai 40; seconds ioc per dozen less
than extra standard prices
CANNED MEATs-Corned beef. lib sl.e5;
2-lbs $40 Potted ham, quarters 55c; halves
l,oo. Lunch tongue, lib $40. Vienna sau-
sage, k-lb CSC.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-18

APPLEs--New York stock. a.Bcd;s 20; mi.
nois stock, $3.50, Missouri stock, $3.50.
81 .50di.75
,COCoANUTS--Per sack. sa,50ff4. 90.
T lEMoNS--Fancy Messins sG0s. 81 .o0f7s. 80
oRANGEs-Callfornin hudded 81. 50a2. IS
choice navels. s256Gs.0o.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1900-02-18

UNION.
Quinine. 44I4Sc per ounce In bottle NOR
phine. ss.Sod2.50 per ounce; cocaine s5.T5 per
ounce; borax. sisc per pound In ,e1-pudni
Packages copperas, Sl.AG per pound Id bar.
packages; epson salts, .i.50 per hundred in
barrels; alcohol. $500 per gallon. sulphur
s2,65 per hundred In barrels; alum. eve per
pounc In barrels; salipetrc, &c per pound 10
barrels; eamphor, 60d62c: wood alcohol S.l5.
gum opium, 1910; powdered opium. si.s5;
carbolio acid. zoe per pound bottles
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-03-31

Russian correspondent sends us
ietails of very interesting and anus,
ing tale told by Russian veterinary
surgeon who was sent into the IRA
district to buy horses and hay for the
peasants of the famine-stricken prov.
inces. He had to 60 mostly with the ma
tives (kirghis). who are half-savage,
but who, nevertheless, were found to
be extremely honest and absolutely
trustworthy in all buying and selling
some of them even offering to give
horses for the starving peasants. Quite
different story has the surgeon to tell
of the Ural Cossacks, who did their
level best to cheat him in the most
barefaced manner and on whom no re.
lance was to be placed. And yet these
Cossacks are very religious snd so sim.
pie in certain respects that a swindler
succeeded in selling them quite num-
Der of tickets -Paradisel The vet
Urinary surgeon saw several of these
tickets, which were marked First
rows" and sold at IS rubles, back seats
bringing considerably less.-Com1ner.
cial Intelligence.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-03-31
SHE WANTED AFAMILY CREST
Worn Affair Would Meet Her
Requirement..

She should have had a page IN
Burke's Peerage, and at least chap
ter in the Almanac de Gotha. But she
was so naive and pleasant about it and
apologized in such profuse fashion
when her mistake was made clear that
all felt like clubbing together and pre-
senting her with "a crest" She drove
up to a prominent jewelry establish
ment.
There was the light of set purpose
in her turquoise eye as she trailed up
the aisle, diffusing a glimmer of ex-
pensiveness from eight-karat earrings
and her new sealskin sacque that be-
spoke unlimited profits in the brewery
business. The buttons boy at the door
slowly recovered from an overdose of
''boquet du diable'' as she passed. Her
destination was the heraldry counter.
II want to see what you have in the
way of family crests and coats of
arms" was her first remark, and she
pulled off her gloves, displaying the
price of several first-class mortgages
on her somewhat stoutly built fingers,
as though she were determined to fin
ish her shopping right there
The clerk looked doubtful for an in
slant, and then his hesitation was
overcome by her assurance, and he
fastened to lay before her the com
plete stock of productions, thinking
that the lady had probably forgotten
what her crest looked like. and hoped
to place it.
my, amt there LOTT" she re-
marked as she sorted out and inspect
ed the various insignias, upon which
the bluest of blues base their claim to
social prerogatives and family trees.
The clerk agreed with her and looked
mystifed.
With her most engaging smile she
said to the clerk: wont you please
help me to select one. can't seem to
pick one l like, and you know 1 want
the very latest"
There was pity and commiseration
in the salesman's face as he explained
in low voice that they didn't know
any latest" and that family crests
were the property of the few, the envy
of many and could be bought only
with the crimsonest of blood relation
ship.
She did not lose her poise or nerve
for an instant. Instead she pulled off
her gloves, resumed her diamond
studded cardcase and remarked: How
very provoking" and disappeared in
the garish sunlight that was showing
up all kinds of people on Chestnut
Observation-Disclosures Inquirer.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-03-31

snorts were more prodigious than on
the morning before, and when he
! emerged from the bathroom his lips
were blue and his teeth chartered.
"You are chilled through" said Mrs.
Jobson.
"We-we-well, wha-wha-what if /
amp" chartered Mr.. Jobson. 'If-f-feel
l-like-br-r-r-rough!" and Mr.. Jobson
rolled under the bed clothes and COW
cred himself up TO the head. 1t took
him Is minutes to get over shaking,
and then he got up and put on his
clothes.
On the following morning, when Mrs.
Jobson woke him up for his plunge,
Mr.. Jobson came to with start, gath
cred himself together, regarded Mrs.
Jobson with grave austerity, and said:
MY bath is ready, 10 it, Mrs. job
son? Well, it can stay ready. It's
pretty near time for you to begin to
do little thinking with regard TO some
of your methods, Mrs. Jobson. You
saw to what a condition that cold bath
scheme of yours reduced me yester-
day morning, and yet it seems to have
aroused no sympathy within you. You
calmly come to me this morning, wake
me out of sound, health-giving slum.
Der, and tell me that You have another
one of those deadly cold baths of yours
ready. Mrs. Jobson, revolt. I'm
pretty easy to get along with, but when
you try to foist fads upon me that are
obviously designed with a view to
getting me under the ground before the
crocuses begin to pop and the collec-
ton of my life insurance by the time
the spring styles are on exhibition in
the shop windows, you overstep The
mark, Mrs. Jobson-you overstep the
Observation-Disclosures Star.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-03-31

The prince of Wales has not that con.
tempt for trade which many lesser So
cial parsonage possesses. At the Marl-
borough club one evening, an intimate
of the prince asked him how he liked
the idea of having relations in business
Ian ailusion to the two brothers of the
marquis of Lorne, one of whom Is ca
stock broker, while the other is in
tea trade. If - would have me-" az
swered his royal highness, mentioning
q shopkeeper on huge scale, II would
go into partnership myself with him
observation-disclosures Times-Herald-
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-03-31
PoET-cooK WAS TOO NAUGHTY
But She Speedily Met Her Match In a
Woman Who. Writes for
Newspapers.

A South side woman who write:
poetry also runs a fancy cooking es
Establishment. Both occupations are
managed with fine impartiality, and
the right hand never knows what the
left hand does. The cooking establish
ment is never even remotely referred
to by the lady's friends and calling &C
quaintances. One unconventional call
er did get as far once as saying:
"Oh, Mrs. b, please send me
three dollars worth of your chocol-'
my secretary, if you please" inter.
jected the poet-cook hastily and
haughtily, and the two women have
not been on speaking terms since.
A newspaper writer who knew moth
ing of these esthetic distinctions wrote
an article on Fancy Cookery" and
mentioned Mrs. B. as talented ex-
ponent of the womanly art. A few
days afterward the poet-cook and the
newspaper woman met in a tearoom
downtown.
1T seems to me have seen your
face before" said the poet-cook-
The newspaper writer has a poor
memory for names and had to confess
herself at loss.
"Oh, now l remember" said the
poet-cook, reddening, you are the
person who wrote that horrid article
in which you called me a cookl Me
a cook!" and she greaned. "Yes, /
know, told you about it, but 1 never
thought you would use the names.
] thought when 1 first saw you that
there was something peculiarly disa-
greeable in my recollections."
Il am very sorry you look at it .hat
way" said the writer, and they talked
it out over the teacups.
swell, 1 suppose that you'll always
think OF me as an unpleasant, fault
finding creature" said the poet-cook
as they parted.
"Oh, no." rejoined the newspaper
writer, merely as woman of rather
narrow outlook. You know when do
any work I'm not ashamed of it, and
when I'm ashamed of it / don't do it.
That's all, thank Chicago Inter
Ocean
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-03-31
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

LandA in extensive areas are leased
in Rhode Island to be overfiowed foa
use for oyster beds.
A system of preventive incubation
against typhoid fever is under extensive
trial in India and South Africa.
Prof. Mau, the profound student OF
Pompeiian antiquities, proves conclu-
sively that Pompeii was a well-paved
city A years before the birth of Christ
A Thracian triumphal car has been
dug up on the slope of Mount Rhodopus,
near Philioppopolis, in Bulgaria. All the
metallic fittings of the chariot, includ-
ing bronze decorative figures, and the
harness for one horse, were found to-
gether with human remains. The car
belongs to the fourth century after
Christ.
Radium, the new X-ray illuminant
obtained from pitchblende, acts on
Photographic plate through Opaque
bodies without the aid of any known
form of energy. Its radiance, though
the most powerful of the kind known,
is invisible. This new element was
discovered by French experimenters
after the introduction of the Roentgen
rays.
Representative Bartlett, of Georgia,
says that hundreds of small cotton mills
are being erected all over his state, and
every city, town and village is now try
ing to raise money for such purpose.
An enormous amount of capital from
New England and other parts of the
north is being invested in the same
kind of enterprises, and he thinks that
very soon the people of Georgia will
manufacture all the cotton they raise.
A method of using the heat of the
sun in place of coal has been perfected
by DR.. William Calver, of Washington
city, to such degree that it is now
proposed to make a practical test of it
on large scale. 1t is the intention to
use the power thus provided for irrigat-
ing purposes in The arid lands of the
southwestern portion of the country.
Broadly stated, DIR. Carver's method of
drawing heat from the sun is by the
use of mirrors, which are so arranged
that the heat is gathered up and TO-
cused at one point.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-03-31

There is the real Russian sable, which
runs into hundreds of pounds; there is
the real musquash sable. which comes
to something like 6 20 for coat lining;
there is the real rabbit-skin sable, a
trimming of which comes to % shiII-
ings; and there is the real ox-hide sable,
which costs about half a sovereign. A
lower grade still is real eharwoma1's
sable. cape of which involves an i'm
mediate expenditure of from three to
five shillings, according to quality
National Magazine.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-03-31

II will" she exclaimed; 81 will not
live with you another day!"
you'll leave me, will you?" he calm.
ly asked.
"Yes, will"
"When?"
Moonlight off-this minute"
you'll go away?"
"Yes, SIR"
II wouldn't If were you.-
but l will, and defy you to prevent
me. / have suffered at your hands as
long asNI can put up with it,
"Oh, ! shan't try to stop you," he
quietly replied. '1'Il simply report to
the police that my wife has mysterious
ly disappeared. They'll want your de-
scription, and I'll give it. You wear
No. shoes; you have an extra large
mouth; you walk stiff in your knees;
your nose turns up at the end; eyes
rather on the squirt; voice like "a"
wretch! you wouldn't dare do that."
she!screamed.
Il certainly will. and the description
viii go in all the papers,
They glared af each other moment
10 silence. Then it was plain to be
seen that lie had the dead wood en- her.
-Ohio State Journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-03-31
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS

Bogie-'Tn tracing the antiquity Of
gold, l see they are finding many gaps"
Stogie-"Yes, another case of missing
inks."-Town Topics.
Square Meals. - sYes, there wasn't
much variety, but we had three square
meals day." "What did you have?'
SODA crackers" = Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Wickwire-"Look here! This is the
fourth time this morning you have been
in here asking for the price of meal"
Dismal Dawson-"Yep, I am the alb.
sent-minded beggar, don't We know"
indianapolis Press.
Curious Old Lady-"How did / you
come to this, poor man?" Convict-"I
was drove to it, lady," Curious Old
Lady-"Were you, really?" Convict
YES, they brung me in the van, as
usual."-Philadelphia Press.
Didn't Laugh With the Rest.-Jones
What were the boys all laughing so
heartily over?" Brown-"Smithg got of
one of his jokes" Jones-"Why didn't
you laugh with the rest?" Brown-"It
was on me."-Coiumbus State Journal.
Consoling Suggestion. - Harriet
Men are so tickle! Fanny's husband
fell in love with her at first sight, and
now he hardly looks at her." Nellie
"She ought to be glad of that Evident
ly he does notwish to be disenchanted:"
Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Fogg-"Have you read the news
papers to-day, Martha?" Mrs. Fogg-
mo; can hardly say have read them;
I have just gone through them" Mr..
Fogg-"That's very awkward express
sion; it sounds as though you were
speaking of my pockets. st. Louis Re-
public.
'Hold on dere," said the English foot
pad to the American he Nsd stopped
I've got right to search you'll" "You
have!" exclaimed the astonished Amer
lean. ''Why, sure! Amt dough contra
band of WARP" And the footpad took
the large and luscious roll of bills from
the Americans starboard locker.-Bal-
timore American.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-03-31

The pastor of church in Washing
ton, on leaving his study, which is in
the rear of the church, saw a little girl,
a friend OF his, talking to stranger.
What was that man saying to you,
Madgew asked the minister, as he came
up to the little girl.
"Oh, he just wanted to know if DR..
{. was the preacher of this church."
And what did you tell him ?"
Il told him." she said, with dignity,
that you were the present ercum-
brance. "-Youth's COMPANION.