The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1900-05-01
A WOULD-BE COUNTESS
BY JOHN WINTHRUP GREEN.
Copyright 1900 by John winthrup Green.)

would overlook it,. We We're \ little
family party. and we were by our.
selves on d little balcony, and he
would take advantage OF the occasion
TO say that in seeking the hand OF the
fair girl before him he WaS melted OK
love alone. He was forfy-five years
old and lonely. He wanted 10 love ana
be loved. Money 10 him was as the
cObbleStOneS in the street. He had
estates in SARDINIA. i'm L~ombardy and
in Umbria. He had castles in Tus-
cany. Naples and Sicily. He had gold
mines in the Alps. silver mines in the
Carnics and lead mines in the Apen-
mines. And as 10 his social standing.
who could desire more than TO be the
cOntidant of the ruler of the land?
The old county was a sleek liar.
and it was entertaining 10 hear him
talk. but at the same time one coull
not help bat pity the father and feet
provoked at the daughter. The aged
lover was still exploiting when he
suddenly pitched forward out of his
chair. The girl screamed ont and ran
away To her room. and | was for
bringing a doctor as quick as possible
when Saunders protested:
Hold on a bit. The old vagabonl
has only tainted away. Let's see what
he is made OF.
We went to work. and the results
We're TRANCE enough. brought
soap and water from mn room and
the first thing we took off was a false
brow. We got enooh enamel
off his face to reveal a
score Of wrinkles. and it was
discovered that every tooth in his head
was false. Under his wig was a shiny |
pate and his back bone was stiffenel
with a corset. | believe that it was
the tightneSs of the corset that had
caused his faint. There was something
still to come. His right leg was sup
ported at the knee with a brace. and
q nose which had been broken YVES
neatly trimmed up with wax. Whea
we had taken the old fellow all to
pieces he was a queer sight to look
at. and 1t was hard to tell whether
the heap on the chair or the heap on !
the floor was Count Padova. He had
partly revived before we GOT through
and he cackled away like an old hen.
And this, orOaned Saunders. as
he pointed to the heap on the chair.
this was to be my son-in-Iav, This
was VIA my daughter was to marry
IN order 10 be called a countess. !
want her here.
He was back with her in \ mo-
ment. | lifted the count to a sitting
position. and he was chatterino Of
love and castles as the girl got sight
Of him.
What have YOU DONE shrieked
the daughter, as she turned from the
spectacle 10 us.
We've simply taken him apart.
replied the father. "and the best part
OF hIm is on the chair there
When the Would-be countess had
tied we sent for help to get Count
iadoVa TO his room. He had to be
handled with care. Any sudden move
might nave pulled a limb or his head
III. There was considerable hilar,rr
among the servants, and it was left
them to glue the pieces together
AGAIN and make a man. When morn
NO came he had disappeared. and he
lad not even left a farewell note he
lInd. \ day later Saunders said TO
Lord. man. but I feel like dancino
hornplpe. There is to be no conn
ess IN our family. Ellen has written
Q a Young lawyer in Chicago and sand
,es 10 his proposition and we are
making ready to scoot for home. Come I
tut and have three drinks and a hul- /
with me-" I