The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1900-01-04
p sst z .esgs.ie ; IS. 80
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Help. help cried the man who was
being robbed. Calm yourself" said
! the highwayman, Il don't need any as
sistance. - Exchange.
An art criticism: shed lock better
without 50 much powder and rouge on.
Yes. She isn't so bad as she's paint
ed. "-Phlladelphia Bulletin.
-. Mrs. Oatcake Creadlng newspaper
There are 1900 Poles in Philadelphia.
E. Farmer Oatcake-GraciOus What
4 place to raise beansi-Phlladelph Rec
ord.
house, We'll. | understand they
usually keep one until the landlord In
sists on having the rent. '-Philadei-
! phia Bulletin.
i Freddle-Its always In damp places
where mushrooms grow. isn't II. papa !
Papa Yes. my boy. Predicts that
the reason they look like umbrellas
papa It'd Bits.
: Physician giving adylce)-Lastly, Ne
j Gerry. don't go TO sleep ON an empty
Z w nv 20 ~
danger av thot, docthor: OIL always
Shape on me back.-Bazar.
An Expianation.-"You referred to
your friend as dead game sports
MANI" Yes; he always buys his birds
; In the market. Dead game Is his spe-
cialty. Washington Star.
Mugglns My wife insists upon hav-
ing the last word. Bugglns-You're
lucky In the bright lexicon Of my
iwife's vocabulary there is no such word
as last Philadelphia Record.
The Missionary-My errlng brother,
have you been Christianized? The Ma
;tive-Not completely. They have COB
bled all my land but still have my few
othes.-lndianapolls Journal.
Don't be afraid, Willie, Tigers al
ways roar when It's time for them to be
fed" "Oh, amt afraid, grandpa.
/ Papa makes IA worse row than that
when dinners late at home. - Jugend.
Lady of the house Ito applicant for q
did you leave your last
place." Servant--"Once | was caught
listening at the door" Lady-"Oh,
what did you hearr'-F liegende Blat-
ter.
How did you manage TO escape hay
fever this year, Clara" Il didn't.
Papa managed It," How" He said
he couldn't raise the money TO send
me to the mountains. New York
World.
Bride Throwing her arms about the
bridegroom neck)--You are my prls-
oner for life. Bridegroom It's not i'm
'prisonment for life, love; it's capital
unishment.-Sydney Town and County
journal.
Mrs. Wiltby-'I am afraid baby isn't
well. dear" Wlltby-"What makes
you think SOP Mrs. Wlltby-"He
hasn't had anything the matter with
him SO long that I'm getting real wor-
'ried. Puck.
An eyasive answer: Banker-"Before
j accept you as suitor for my daugh-
ter, | should like 10 know how yon
stand politically Now, | am for gold"
.Suitor-"That's what I'm after, sir."-
Town Topics.
The Military Obsesslon: Superinten-
'dent--Yes, and where did John the Bap-
list live? Scholar-In the desert. SUI
'perintendent-Quit right. And what
do we call people who live In the deserti
Scholar-Deserters.- Brooklyn Life.
Tired Tootstrong Madam, will you
please help ii poor, homeless man out
iof his troubles!" Madam (who was
raised In the MISUNDERSTANDING
Would you rather be shot or hit on the
head with an -Norristown Herald.
Mrs. Bugg-"if you keep on being so
unreasonable l shall just have TO 20
home and live with mamma" Mr..
Bugg-"Stay. my dear, cannot be I'M
reasonable enough TO conslgn you to
such a cruel fate. "-Philadelphia Bull
lletin.
Jones called up his first wife at the
'seance last night, and what do you
think he said to herr" said Smith.
i"Goodness knows" replied Brown. He
asked her il she would give his second
wife her recipe for mlncemeat. Pick
,Me-Up
The Parting: She-Henry, dearest,
4 have at last discovered that | love
you. He-Ah, you have heard, then.
that my uncle has died and left me
$4,000. She-Sir, after that remark we
must part forever! heard It was fifty.
Judge.
Deacon Black-Dis amt no pussonal
iqueschun; but II man steals a chick.
ling am it propah 70 him ter say grace
befo' he eats IL! Deacon Johnson
iShuah. Amt he got two reasons ia
tank de Lawd-fo' de chicken an 70
not glttin' eoIched?-Puck.
Nailed: r-In-"Tlat kind OF
coat. sir. we have sold up TO date for
fifteen dollars; we are now offering
them for five" The desired customer
And you've got the gall To openly adj
INIT that you've been gougng people to
that extenti"-Leslie's Weekly.
She Wished to Break II to Him Gent
ily: Il have decided. she said. ITO re
turn your ring" He, however. was {
letting woman get the better ct him
You needn't bother" he replied, Il buy
them by the dozen. Chicago Posi-.
Playwright-"I haven't dared to ask
vet whether my tragedy ~ a success
or not, but I've just glanced at an ac-
count which says there wasn't "a dry
eye in the audience" Manager grim.
lyl--"Yes; here is another account that