Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-06-10
JOE.
The Man Who In Guided by Intesrity
Always Comes Out On Top.

women and children at 10 cents a take,
the mayor there asked me to remark
a few things fur the benefit of morality.
| am but a humble pilgrim, with no de-
sire to put myself forward, but l stood
on the steps of the court house and
feelin'ly observed:
"He who would conker the world
must first lick his wife"
And also:
"He who waits to find a white crow
fur luck will be brought to grief by
the sight Of a blick cat"
And again:
that stitch on the fence and waiteth
fur her to bring along a sack of flour
will go without bread"
And likewise:
"A man without ambition is a stone
in the highway. fur his Teller men to
stumble over. A man with too much
ambition gettetht into Jail at our ex-
pense. Teach myself moderation, and
thou shalt imbibe wisdom"
When | had finished my remarks, a
man of scrambled appearance APP
preached me and shook my HAND and
said:
Stranger, may l take it that thou art
a pilgrim travelin from ATARI"
you kim" says I.
and that your object is to make the
world better, while at the same time
you are dom a leetle bizness on the
outside"
That's me-"
WAL, / don't believe in it. Bein
full of virtue, integrity and truth don't
pay 2 cents on the dollar. It's wisked-
ness that makes big dividends and
helps a Teller to hev good times, and |
kin prove it. The game of poker is
sinful, amt it?"
Alas, it is, though it enticeth,"
IF you'll come over to my cabin and
hev a few games with me, I'll knock
your integrity bizness into a cooked
hat"
was in the town of Weepin Wil,el
as a shinin example of morality. but
yit this thought occurred to me:
Integrity should never miss a
chance to deal a blow at vice"
And also:
The first step toward reformin a fell
Ter man is to bankrupt him."
And likewise:
"He who SCOTS at virtue should be
restrained"
Hevin thought these thoughts. |
made up my mind that | was the in
strument chose n to put the old man
on his back, and after feedin nv boss
and lookin to see if my bottled grass
hopper was safe l fined him in his
cabin. He had the keerds before him
and 500 at his right hand, and thar
was a look of triumph on his face,
And yit that he might not give me a
too sudden shock he puts on a balmy
look and says:
He who kin shed tears with his fell
Ter man kin make the world better"
And, not to be outdone in politeness
by the b~ald-headed old r~eprobate, /
worked up a smile and replied:
And he who reacheth the human
heart through words of sympathy
lifteth up the fallen"
Yes, that's all right" says he, "but
how about this game? Hev you any
CASH."
Il hev," says l, as l pulled out a wad
which would hev bin a weepin of de-
Tense ag'in an elephant.
Then git down here, and we'll be-
gin, and 5if l don't prove to you that
vice rides on horseback and drinks
champagne, while virtue goes on foo
and looks for duck ponds, then my
) name amt what my mother called me-
1t was with a determination to up
spotless the reputashun of integrity
that | sot down and cut fur deal an6
got it. When we had filed out hands
we put on looks of humility, and he
sighed a little as he said:
"He who seeketh truth findeth only
a stone at the end of his Journey"
Not t be outdone in any pint, / bel
$40 on my hand and observed:
The wicked flee when no man pur-
size, and thar is no rest fur them"
He threw down his keerds, and we
had another dead. This time he won
his money back. For half an hour wi
toved with each other and made ready
fur battle, and then the climax came
| saw him slyly manipulate three aces
and thar was a smile on his face as he
picked UP his keers. Providence had
however. given me four queens that
right champion the cause of integri-
ty. and | was not afraid. He saw me
and raised, and / saw him and batter
ed his figgers. and thar came a minute
when we had our all on the board
Chen he called. and we showed our
hands, and he was a scooped man.