The Washington weekly post., 1900-12-18
MR. s0wsER's IRIBuLATloss.
it Was Creased TreBser. that spelled n
tappy fsentus

had book In heT hands. Mr.. B0wser the
evening paper, end the family cat lay on
the hearth rus and puried and chucklsd
ana decided that she had a soft snap for
the winter. Without cold winds blew ana
snownakes :ell, within were warmth ana
cheer and eontentment. BY and by Mr..
BOwser felt the influence, aud he looked
up ifom his paper and said:
Well. now. but this IS home, What
reasonable man could ask for more than
this7''
Yes. IL is cory" answered Mrs. Bow
ser
How man can leave a freside Ike
TINS 10 hang out at club is more than
cSn make out. II all men had homes
Ike this. there would be nothing but hap
piness IN married life. Why can't all
wives be like you?"
Mrs Bowser took the alarm az once.
Every Wife knows that her husband is
dangerous when tcO good. She started 10
say something about a neighbor's child
being sick, but he interrupted her With:
les, l suppose so; but II Is probably
owing 10 the mothers carelessness. | was
thinking to-day that | was not half
thankful! enough for the blessings that
surround me. Do you know that II
hadn't married just the right sort Of wife
might have turned out bad. bad MANI
i am glad and satisfied that you ar,
happy, she replied. but don't you think
II Greadtul the way some OF the coal-cart
men use their poor horses? One was going
past mere to-day, when"
Know nothing about coal cart
horses,' he chipped in. but / do kno,y
that l have the incest little wife IN an
Inc weird. Where would | be tonight
but Tor you and this scene OF comfort
ana happiness? Put away your book and
lets talk. / presume you think there are
tlines when / don't fully appreciate you.
out even when / get mad and storm
around l never lose sight OF your many
good qualities. And, too, you know 1 am
always sorry for giving way to my tenn
per. IL is awfully good Of you TO over
look my failings."
Mrs. Bowser was in for II. and there
was no escape. She couldn't faint away,
and she could think OF no excuse to get
out OF the house. She therefore smiled
and replied:
We get along as well as most folks.
what Is the news from China to-dayg'
Yes, you are always willing 10 over
look my faults" he continued as he reach
ed out his foot and toyed with the cat.
"and l want you 20 know that | appreci-
ate it to the fullest extent Didn't you
say something about new dress the 9TH
er day?''
IF 1 did. 1 can wait for & month or
two more
There is no need of waiting a day. In
the morning l will give you $50 for a new
dress. AS you may need other things |
think I'll make IL SO. Never be afraid
to ask me for money. I've been thinking
we ought to so out more. What is II
prevent us from going TO the theater
twice a week this winter"
II should like to go at least once
week"
"lt shall be twice or three times. and
we'll get up card parties for the other
evenings. Would you like to keep sec
ond girl?''
"Oh. no. You see. there is so little to
do, and the cook has lots of time to help
upstairs"
IF you want one. just say so. don't
want you to think you are tied to shs
house. And how about new carpets and
1--WE don't need any"
Thanks to you. and | appreciate Il. BY
George, but when / remember how many
rows | have raised over nothing at all
wonder that you haven't been driven tn
get divorce. L expect there are plenty
Of women who would have Drained me
with the poker. Can you ever forgive
me?'
Mrs. BOwser was determined TO change
the subject and avert the calamity. and q
bright thought came to her.
You took a pair of trousers TO the
Tailor the other evening to be pressed"
she said as she rose up.
yes, and has he sent them home%'
They came up this afternoon and are
N that bundle over there. / wonder II
here are any buttons missing?'
The package was united, and Mr.. Bow
ger held them up to view. He had taken
-hem TO the tailor to have the creases re-
lewed, and the tailor seemed To have
made an excellent job OF it. Mr.. Bowser
Vas about to lay them aside, with a nod
IF satisfaction, when ne gave a sudden
start or surprise, and the smile his face
had worn during the last half hour was
eplaced by a look of sternness.
What Is it?" she asked.
He took the leg OF the trousers and
stretched 1t out at arms length an!
'qulhted along the crease like a man look
ng along the edge of a board.
You took this package in?" he asked.
Is ne finished squirting along the leg.
Yes"
,ers?'
hem?"
What Is wrong with them?" he re-
lealed as his neck began TO grow red.
III you were the sort OF wife you ought
o De- you'd know what was wrong with
heHl. you'd have known IL hours ago
ma brought that tailor 10 book instead
u assisting him In his chicanery."
But what is it?"
can't your eyes tell you? Look along
hese creases. Do they follow a straight
Inc or do they wabble and crook?"
They seem TO DC straight" replied
drs. Bowser. after squirting.
But they are not, and 1 believe yoI
lave known IL for hours. See there.
These creases are at least three inches
'ut OF true at the tottOm, and what wifi
'e the effect when put the trousers ony
will look to be a bow-lcgged man. OF
curse, and Of course that was the plot
By thunder, woman, but things have
cine 10 a pretty pass."
Mr.. Bowser. how silly you are"
''Oh. yes; oh. yest Because / don't
want 10 look like q man straddle Of "A
'arrei l am silly, How much did you
ave 20 pay the tailor to carry out this
conspiracy with you? And when sou had
made me the laughing stock OF the neigh
orhoOd what other scheme did you have
0 work? II would have been sweet
rusic TO your ears TO hear the boys
houting, Old bow-legged BOwseF. after
ne on the street"
II wish you'd be reasonable" said Mrs.
,0wser. ar she tossed the trousers on the
Junge 'One minute you praise ne. and
yerything Is all right. and the next
Never he interrupted as he kicked ..
he cat. Il have never praised you and
ont mean 10. There will be no theater
nd no card parties. A wife who'll con-
plre against her husband ought to be sent
D State prison take my trousers 20
ailOr 10 be creased. You sneak down
fter me and bribe him 20 squeeze tns
reases 20 that / will be an object OF rid.-
nle. Why don't you poison my Coffee