The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-08-25

SsdrllnB eyes and cnaIterlng teetns
came staggering up the companionway-
he doors." he Shrieked, in abject ter
ror. They are actually all right They
| close readily "Merciful heaveni"
gasped the captain, and lost his head.
Detroit Journal.
"oh. my friends" exclaimed thee earn
est old man who was talking, think OF
the futurel What will you be doing
| fifty years from now?" Waiting for
| news from China conjectured a reck-
less young person in the group.-Chi-
In 1s5O.-A Clubbist-"Come ON. fell
lows. let's get out of here quick. Here
What of it?' He'll be sure to tell
some of his tiresome old stories about
| the good old times when this country
was republic Life.
Apologies All Around.-Mrs- Niblick
you mustn't mind my husband, Mr..
| Won Bunker, if he swears terribly while
he is playing golf" Won Bunker-'.Arld,
| you mustn't mind me, Mrs. Niblick, if
| I take the words out of his mouth =
Brooklyn Life.
His Metre.-Mrs. F1oodyer-"Oh, Mr.
| Bats, how I enjoyed your lovely vol
une of poemsl'' Batts-"You're very
| kind. indeed! Do you like the Alcaic
metre?" Mrs. Floodyer-"Alcaic petreI
| Oh, I see, you want to change the sub
! ject. Modesty is the crown of genius.
| But really / cannot say. Does it save
| much gas?''-Brooklyn Life.
The Rational-"Run away and go
swimmingl" whispered the Tempter to
the Modern Boy. Nationally or I'M
| rationally?' asked the latter. t'Unra-
/ tionally, of course said the Tempter-
Il don't know how snivelled the Mod
| ern Boy. and turned again to his books.
| This gives you some idea of the great
work the Froebel associations are do
| ing in the interests of the higher moral
| ity.-Detroit Journal.
Leadership-'she is one of the lead
ing women here, I am told "Oh, yes,
she leads her husband dogs life.
| Detroit Journal.
Much More Likely.-'Is there any
thing about golf in the Old Tesla
| ment?" mo, you'n have to read up in
profane history for that.
Plain-Dealer.
Evidence Against Hints he a
| drinking unan?'' Il infer So He is said
| to be passionately fond of yachting and
| goes on many long cruises Chicago
| Evening Post
! ble-Husband-sI don't see
why you have accounts in so many dry
good stores" Wife-"Because, my dear,
it makes the bills SO much smaller
| Harper'S Bazaar.
| A White Ribboner-"She's a strong
| advocate of the temperance cause, isn't
| she?' Yes indeed. She never even en-
/ tertains a doubt, because doubts are so
| often dissipated. ''-Philadelphia Evening
| Bulletin.
| Quoted.-Returned Delegate-'I made
| two speeches at the convention. Did
| you see me quoted?'' Constituencies
1 saw by one of the papers that a lot
of you were selling at $500 apiece. New
York Weekly.
The Elephants Plank-.Fellow-c
zenS of the Jungle" said the monkey,
various as our interests may be, can't
we find some platform on which we may
all stand?" That's right" put in the
elephant. Let us denOunce menagerieS!
Puck.
There is a rurnpr on the Bourse,'
said the Chamberlain, that the Circas-
the hard winter!" "a roorback!" said
the Sultan. Somebody is trying to in
fate the price of wives in CONSTANT
nople. Detroit Journal
Where Whoever runs this
paper remarked the walrus, who had
picked up an old copy Of the New York
Diurnal, dropped by a polar relief ex-
petition, lis a lobster" whats the
matter?" asked his mate. why, he
says: Under the circumstances should
you go into the water after a meal
Where are We to get it then ?''-Philadei-
phia Press.
Dick Wittington-If I go on a yacht
cruise you and Aunt Abigail will be
worried about me all the time.
His Sister Ruth-Not at all. Nothing
ever happens to a drunken man.-Life-
Jones-Great Scott! has that man been
in an explosion or a railroad wreck?
Brown-Neither. He's a census enum-
orator who showed up smaller popula-
ton in his town than 1t had ten years
ago.-Detroit Free Press. "A
You can't believe all that you see in |
print said the skeptical citizen.
81 should say not answered Mr.. |
Meekton- Some things are too prepos- |
terouSly absurd Why, only the other |
day / saw a piece about a man who |
made fun of his wife's cooking. Wash |
ington Star.