davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
NO WORK FOR HIM.
An Anti-Labor Apostle Hunts, Fishes,
and FiddIes.


Out In Missouri Is a man who, al
though he Is turned seventy years OF
age. has never done a stroke OF work
IN his life. Ii is in consequence of a
vow which old Shrinch Painter made
nearly sixty years ago that he has re.
mained in idleness.
Shrinch Painter lives IN Stone coun-
ty. Mo-. thirty miles south Of Spring.
field. His home is a hole in the side
Of mountain. Solid rock forms the
floor and roof OF this dwelling, and
the old man is very little burdened
with furniture.
Shrinch is an antl-labor apostle. Ii
is his conviction that the world owes
q living TO every one brought into H.,
and that labor Is a sin. He has made
q positive demonstration OF his theory
in his own case. for he has never
toiled. Yet he lives In absolute con.
tentnent. and has the natural happi-
ness Of the primitive Indian. He says
he has never suffered from hunger,
has never felt the need Of money and
has never weakened in his determine.
ton to abstain from labor.
The land on which the old man lives
belongs to him by right Of occupation.
1t consists of about one hundred and
fifty acres, and is all that Shrinch pos
sesses. OF course Il would be work
to cultivate the land, so it Is neglected.
Hunting, fishing and fiddling. ac.
cording to the old man. do not come
under the category of work, and he is
an expert at each branch. Almost all
his time is spent In the mountains,
where, with his old-fashioned rife, he
amuses himself by bringing to earth
deer, wild hogs, or quail. When he
gets tired Of this he goes fishing. and
numbers Of trout does he pull out OF
the clear mountain streams. Old
shrinch figures at every breakdown
held within n ten mile radius. and
those who imagine that the old man
is in any way hermit is very much
mistaken. For his services as violin
ist he makes no charge. and he would
be highly insulted if any attempt
were made to look upon his services
as work.
Whenever Shrinch visits Springfield
which is about once a year. the ques
tion Of hotel accommodation comes
up. He absolutely refuses TO sleep un
der a roof. A wagon yard and bun
die Of hay is all that he requires. AL
though he has seen railway cars. b,
has never been inside one.
The old man is not at all illiterate
for he can read and write fiuently an,
is a good talker. The following II
what he had to say when asked fol
the reasons for his strange mode o.
living:
"We are Gods children, and, o
course, God will take care Of us. III,
never intended us to work. When
was a boy and my father and moth
er wanted me to go to the spring TO
water, to chop firewoOd and to do 9th
chores l told them l would neve
work. They were grieved. They said
would never make my way throug
the world. told them I would hunt
fish and fiddle my way through.
have done it exactly that way for
long while, and see no reason to b
discouraged as to the future. l am pei
fectly happy, and expect to live to b
one hundred years old. 1t is work AM
worry that kill people"-N. Y. Herald
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
IN THE NICK OF TIME.
How the DarEey Knew His White
Folks.

One Of the old-time southern ne
groes went to Boston to make his for
tune.
After a week OF walking up and
down he found himself penniless and
no work in sight
Then he went from house to house.
"Ef you please, suh." he began.
when his ring at the front door was
answered, cant you give po' culled
man work ter do. or somepln' ter eat2"
And the polite but firm answer in
variably was. mo, mister-very sorry
but have nothing for you"
Everyone who answered his ring
addressed him as "Mr.." but shut their
doors and hearts against him
Finally he rang the bell az brown
stone front
A gentleman appeared and the old
man began
Boss. is starvin Can't you gim
me some vittles?"
"You darned. black. lxinky-heade,
rascal" exclaimed the gentleman
How dare you ring the bell at my
front door? Go round the backyar,
way to the kitchen. and the cookl
give you something-you black"
But Just there the old man fell OF
his knees. exclaiming:
Thank de Lawd, | foun my owl
white folks at las'l Thank de Lawd
foun' e'em-I foun' em!"-Atlantl
Constitution.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
HOW LAYTON DIED.
An Eye Witness Gives 4 Graphic De.
scrIptlon Of the Tragic Event.


shook hands with General Lawton
9nd chatted with him a moment He
was In excellent spirits and antlcipa.
ted an easy victory. My pony was
played out and utterly unable TO keep
up with the cavalry in the rapid move
ments ahead. therefore fell IN behind
Colonel Sargent, brave and kind OIL
ser. and wound down the slippery
trail with the infantry to the valley
below. Two high mounds overlooked
the rice field directly in front OF San
Mateo. and a small detachment OF IN
fantry was placed on each to give q
cross fire on the trenches over the
river and cover the crossing OF our
troops lt turned out afterward that
the river was too deep to ford at this
point. and these troops were then
brought up to the firing line In front,
which sllirted the river edge.
General Lawton had twice walked
up and down the line. every inch Of
his six feet four In that fatal yellow
coat exposed TO the enemy's view, and
one after another his staff had asked
him TO find a safer place. Just before
starting down the line Lieutenant Col
onel Sargent had asked him to find a
less exposed position. and at last Cen
eral Lawton eaid that he would go
back a bit in the rice field to a more
sheltered place, but where he could
easily be found by his stan and the
officers commanding. AS the general
started for his point of safety Lieuten-
ant Breckenridge was shot through
the upper part OF the right arm and
the back of his shoulder AS ne was
being carried off the field General
Lawton received his fatal wound.
Lieutenant Fuller. who was close by,
saw a bullet strike a pool of water,
and remarked to Captain King the pc
culiar angle at which the bullet
glanced downward Then he heard the
general say. I'm shot through the
chest" and rushed forward to his as
sistance. General Lawton stood for q
few moments clenchlng his fists and
straining to hold himself upright, but
suddenly he lost control and fell over
supported by Lieutenant Fuller.
DR.. Beasley. who was accompany
ing young Breckenridge of the field
ran over to the generals aid and saw
at once that the wound was fatal. Cap
tain King. who had been with Gener
al Lawton all the morning, bent ovei
his dying chief, who lay in Lieuten
ant Fuller's arms. In a few seconds
he lay dead, shot above the heart
Sydney Adamson in Leslies Weekly
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
Chances In War.

War is not such a dangerous game
as people think. In spite of all efforts
to annihilate each other, enemies do
comparatively slight damage. During
the Franco-German War, with its
scores of battles on a vast scale. only
10 1-2 men in each 1000 were. killed
and los wounded. while 1-2 per 1000
were missing. Thus any soldier en-
gagged had about nine chances to one
that he would not get n scratch, and
over fifty chances TO one that he
would not be killed. Most Of the
wounds received were slight-that Is
to say. one fourth Of all the wounds
were severe and three fourths were
slight. But It is surprising how small
a wound disables a man and knocks
him out Of the ranks.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
BLOOD.
People Who Poke into the Converse.
tion Of Others.

Brown Is a rabid Boer sympathizer
Not so Green; he waves the Union
Jack whenever the occasion permits.
and that is often. While White and
are just the plain antl-imperialists. but
without enthusiasm therefore non
combatants.
Brown and Green were at II again
yesterday at luncheon. Green had
brought home with him one OF the
noon editions of one OF the evening
papers, and tears fell from his eyes
as he read the Spion Kop casualty
list
Well observed Brown. Il suppose
Butler has fallen back again to bet
ter position, has he?"
"Oh. don't know sneered Green.
pushing the dish OF Dutch cheese
around the sugar bowl where he could
not see t.
Hes a sort Of natural born back
faller. amt he?" Brown pursued.
"Aw, gwan," interjected Green with
look Of annoyance. you amt got a
drop Of patriotic blood in yon--didnt
you descend from Englishmen?"
It was the suggestion OF blood that
caused White to put in a word. lie
shouldn't have done II. I foresaw the
result; he had no business entering
the war OF words at all. tried to kick
him under the table, but couldn't
reach him.
''Talkin' bout bein' patriotic on ac
count of blood" he observed. my
grandmother on my mothers side was
a Spaniard; my mother was born In
Greece; her father was an East In
dian, while my father was an English
man and was born in ireland. What
do you think of that for blood?"
Green's eyes glittered
II should think, he snapped. YOU'D
better take sarsaparilla for it."
Poor White gasped-but then he
had no business poking his nose in.
With that many strains OF differ
ent blood In YOU" Brown observed
calmly, but with no less sarcasm. "a
should think you would be flghtinl
with yourself all the time"
foresaw the result. Why viii peo
pie poke into the conversation OF 9th
ers, and fling about bits OF converse
tion that are not pearls?-Detroi
Free Press.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
Last Years shIpbuIIdInu.

The year 1899 produced 2,447, ,53s
tons of new shipping, Great Britain
leading, with 1,763,914 tons. The Uni
ted States followed. with 2SS,964 tons,
and Germany came next with 179, ,235
tons. One Of the remarkable achieve
ments of the year was the Oceanic.
one of the largest vessels ever built.
Another novelty was the steam tur.
bine torpedo-boat destroyer Viper,
which makes some 80 knots an hour.
A striking feature Of the years record
was the increase of tonnage built on
the Great Lakes. Seventy vessels, Of
1904 tons, were built on the Great
Lakes. On our seaboard 1913 tons OF
steel steam vessels were built, the
largest output in our history. -Balti.
more Sun.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
A smitten conseIenee.

Madame began the winter pill.
grim, do you remember that last Feb.
ruary that I promised TO clean the
snow out OF your yard?"
Yes. and then sneaked of without
doing IT," retorted the angry house.
wife.
But came back. madame;
tramped through a July sun to keep
me word. When reached your gate
the snow had vanished. but you told
me TO take the scythe and cut the
grass instead"
"And you sneaked on again. you
But me conscience smote me
OATS why tramped through ten-feet
drifts to finish de iob.-Indianapolis
News.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
HIs erudae AaaInst ROM.

"Ah, my friend" sighed the reform
er, rum causes lots Of trouble in this
world"
Indeed il does. agreed the listener
NO doubt you or would be hap.
pier were 1t not for the rum demon" 4"
went on the reformer
Indeed, we would" again agreed
the patient listener.
And how has it caused you unhap-
piness? asked the reformer.
Years ago woman told me that
IL stopped drinking she would marry
me-"
"And you could not stop?"
mo" roared the patient listener;
mo, did stop."-Baltimore Ameri
can.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
The Hero,s predIoamsnt.

Nowhere. it is likely does the
course Of true love run more smooth
ly than in grand opera.
BE minel" roared the hero. with
tolerable distinctness.
M-er-yuh-uh shrieks the
heroine, eliminating an arpeggio in
the upper register with a prolonged
trill on the in alt.
"Oh, this terrible uncertainty" pro.
tests the hero
The beautiful girl regards him
yearningly; she would speak, only
everything has to be sung in grand
opera, and then, too, her maideply
reserve restrains her more or less
Detroit Journal.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
The unIuekx Thirteenth.

Somehow the talk had drifted on
superstition. The red-faced man was
the last to speak: Gentlemen" he
said I've always been superstitious
since one cold night last winter. l was
feeling sA1--had had a little trouble,
and / M ~ ND my mind TO drown
my sorrow, for a time at least. l
went into &c first saloon I came
across, and stood at the bar and
down the thirtovLth my hands be-
came numb. my ie-s refused TO sup
Believe me or not hst l say there is
sOmethins pnc2lny H't strange in the
number is '-Incianc sn.is sun.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
NEw GRIMES.
Mans Lawless Ingenuity Giving the
Courts Added Trouble.

Mans Lawless Ingenuity Giving the
Courts Added Trouble.
Under the laws OF the land as they
exist at the present the theft Of a
lamp Is a larceny. II may be a Roman
lamp or q Greek lamp. an oil lamp or
an electric lamp. Whether Il consti-
tutes grand larceny or petit larceny
viii in certain states IN the Union de-
pend not upon its age Of newness, but
upon its market value. On the other
hand there is a great number of mod
ern crimes which could not have been
committed In ancient days because
the instruments for their perpetration
did not exist They are the outcome Of
modern civilization and they require
new legislation.
The tapping of n telegraph wire is
a modern form OF highway robbery.
In the old days the method was to
waylay the courier on his road and to
rob him OF his purse or of his mes
sage The formula OF the modern
highwayman is not stand and deliv-
err" but simmply Deliver And he
may get a message from the lightning
courier which may be worth more 10
him than a well filed purse. But there
is nothing to be gained by indiscriml'
nate tapping Il is some. special mes
sage or information that the thief is
looking for, possibly for its effect on
the stock market OF on other business
ventures. but the use Of cipher codes
renders the tapping Of telegraph
wires of little avail even in time OF
war, unless the code. as well as the
message, has been stolen. For the tap.
ping OF power or light lines the mod
ern highwayman comes in out OF the
rain. He can do his business better
indoors by attacking the electric me.
ter, confusing It's calculations and
thus getting more current than he
pays for. Such at least seems TO be
the Implication of recent statutes
Chicago Chronicle.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
The Murder In Literature.

But the old gray millionaire in the
problem story is by no means without
recourse.
Why do you murder me?" he ex-
claims. TT is not for you 10 commit
this mysterious crimel For you are
by no means the last person in the
book who would be suspected Of such
a thing"
The other is at once struck by the
force Of this argument and sinks
away first letting fall the glittering
dagger from his nerveless fingers;
while the millionaire felicitates him
self upon the accurate understanding
Of the literary proprieties.-Detroii
Journal.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
Making a Thorough Job.

The next morning after his spree
the young man with the aching head
was trying to put his desk to rights
when the proprietor of the establish
ment happened in.
What are you doing?" asked the
proprietor.
Il am cleaning up my desk" replied
the young man.
well. Wen make the job complete.
You can go down stairs and get your
time. Chicago Tribune.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
NextI

Miss Goldrox-You don't seem to
have much regard for Count Spaghetti
What do you know Of him?
Mr. Peppery-Nothing of my per-
sonal knowledge, but some OF my
friends used TO know him quite well.
Miss Goldrox-Then you never met
him before?
Mr.. Peppery-Oh, no. I've always
shaved myself-Philadelphia Press.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
Then She Wouldn't Tell Him.

She--I would tell you a little piece
of news Il ! were sure it wouldn't go
any further.
He-You are safe in telling me.
There never was a man who could
make a piece of news go further than
woman.-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
full Of Honors.

"still." said the old friend who had
called to converse with the venerable
sage. Sin your advancing age it must
be a great comfort TO know your fame
is secure"
Yes" replied the aged scientist Il
am told there is new disease and a
hve-cent cigar named for me."-Chi-
Icago Tribune.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
The Cheerful Idiot.

"Of course" said the Cheerful idiot,
" the bootblack in what is called a fe-
male barber shop is bound to be a
great society man."
Fl can't see why" said the shoe
clerk boarder.
why. because he shines in the so
ciety OF ladies. Indianapolis Press.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
In CAV Harlem.

Mr. short-what is that Internal
caterwaullng?
Mrs. Short-Why, that is the jani-
tors baby; the cutest little black
thing in the world.
Mr.. Short-Hes not so black that
It interferes with his being a little
yeller.-New York World.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
At the Front.

He was a newspaper man. Late
war news kept me downtown he
stammered. as he entered the house
at $50 a. m.
"Humph!" replied the wife. We'll,
wen make a little more war news
right here for the late edition. -
Philadelphia North American.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
The Roadside Idea.

Hungry Higgins-What is these
here progressive dinners the swell
aristocrats is havin'?
Weary Watkins-W'y, you git your
soup at one place. your fish at the next
place. your meat at the next place
AN dog-bit at the next placer
Indianapolis Press.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
Nature Helps the Beers.

Nearly the whole South African
plateau is covered with long, slender
grass. which, under the fierce sun, is
often as dry as tinder Nothing can
live in a veldt fire, and in its passing
it leaves a desert. Under the cover of
the smoke that arises the Beers can
utilize tha strategy for which they
are famous.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26

You're fat and you're sleek,
You're broad as you're long;
You're squeezing and pushing.
You know it is wrong.
You gourmand, you're gorging your
self with the dust"
OF others. who hope with this diet
you'll bust.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26

There are cannons with mouths
which have never tasted war-Yonkers
Statesman
Kentucky has become partisan even
in searching for a murderer.-St. Louis
Globe-Democrat.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
An Hlatorin Wreok-

Below the waters Of Monterey Bay,
California, lies sunken craft that
once helped to make history She is
the Natalie. which in 1915 carried Ma.
poleon back TO France from Elba.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
Couldn't Be a Craze.

Wink-Your friend Jones is one OF
the finest pianists I ever heard. Why
don't he go on the stage.
Minks-Wouldnt pay. His name is
too easy to pronounce.-New York
Weekly.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
statuary.

The Younger One-Oh. he looks
just like a Greek god
The Elder One-The only Greek
gods ever saw were decidedly hard
looking characters. - Indianapolis
Press.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
wHAr 10 Yon wANrr

Advertise your wants In the evening
Journal. Employment wanted. help
wanted, 10 let. for rent, for sale, board
ing, and lost and found ads. will be pub
lished. three lines. one time. FOR a d1mei
three times for q quarter.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26

Talking about throwing a big
blum" said the Observer of Events
and Things: what's the matter with
the fellows who are blasting the Pali-
sades? ?"-Yonkers Statesman.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
wHAr 10 Won wANrr

Advertise your wants IN the Evening
Journal Employment wanted. help
wanted. 30 let. for rent. for sale, board
ing. and lost and found ads. will be pub
lished. three lines. one time, for q dime;
thnss times for q quarter.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
WHAr no You wANrf

Advertise your wants 10 the Evendn9
Journal. Employment wanted. help
wanted. to let, for rent. for sale. board
ing. and lost and found ads. will be pub
nshed. three lines. one time. for a dime:
thfae times for q quarter
Evening journal., 1900-03-26

she-"shall go and hold your hand
in mine when you ask papa for me?"
He-''If you don't mind, I'd rather
you'd hold papa's feet. t.'-Yonkers
Statesman.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
The SEASONING.

Mr.. Tenderfoot-This bear meat
seems very highly spiced.
Cactus Charley--lt ought to be,
pardner. That's a cinnamon bear
American.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
Primitive Woes.

Lilian-What awful. awful hardships
our forefathers must have expert
enced.
Blanche-Yes, jurt think, they didn't
have olives.-India1apolis Journal
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
Everv other Mar KlIIed.

At the Battle Of Hastings "a. ID.
1865, the weapons being swords and
battle axes, 500 fell fatally wounded
out of every 1000 soldiers.
Evening journal., 1900-03-26
wHAr DO You wANTr

Advertise your wants fn the Bvening
Journal. Employment wanted, help
wanted to let. for rent. for sale, board
ing. and lost and found ads. vii be pub
lished three lines. one TINA. far a dime
three ttnaa for ouar0ak.
The Bellefontaine Republican. [volume] (Bellefontaine, Logan County, Ohio) 1855-1905, 1900-01-05
HandIing Foreign Mail.

No sooner has the ticker reported
the Campania or other big liner "off
Fire island" than veteran Of the
transportation department, accom-
panied by a few clerks and porters,
hastens to the foot of Cortlandt street
and boards the Postmaster General
the flagship Of the postoffice fleet. The
boat was built for this service. and is
equipped with spacious mailrooms
shoots for transboarding sacks, and
other expediting appliances. Steam is
up and she is off down the bay to meet
the big steamer. She makes fast to he1
sides, and the mails are received
aboard through the shoots, while the
clerks check and verify the number re
ceiyed ON sort of invoice called way
bill," prepared by the London, Havre
or sea postoffice.
Frequently the passengers are still
awaiting the quarantine doctor while
the mails are speeding on their way te
the battery, where the New York city
sacks are landed; then to the Pennsyl
vania railroad, then to the foot OF
Forty-secOnd street. where wagons
await the mails for the Grand Centra
depot. Thus great saving in time is
often made, while formerly the whole
mail went first to the docks of the sew
eral transatlantic lines. then by wag
ons to the general postoffice, then agaiI
by wagons to the different depots.-
Scribners.
The Bellefontaine Republican. [volume] (Bellefontaine, Logan County, Ohio) 1855-1905, 1900-01-05
skylark,. Glorio,.. song.

Need l say a word about the skylark
and its wholly joyous song? 1t In
spired one Of Jeremy Taylor's most
beautiful and best known passages
the lark rising from his bed Of grass
and soaring upward. singing as he
rises and hoping to get to heaven and
climb above the clouds; singing "as II
it had learned music from an angel as
he passed sometimes through the air
about his ministering here below"
And it inspired. too. one Of the finest
odes In the English language, Shelley's
finest work. bis supreme ode" But.
as may be said Of another ode, It Is
mot in tune with the birds song and
the feeling it does and ought to
awaken. The rapture with which the
strain springs up at first dies down
before the close into Shelley's ever
haunting melancholy.
Like Keats lode to the Nightingale,
1t Is no key to the birds song. 1t does
not teach us anything Of the thought
and feeling which inspired that CULVER
ing, ascending embodiment Of Joy, that
pilgrim Of the sky. hiding itself II. the
glorious light of the snnin1er hAaveuA.
Minneapolis Journal
The Bellefontaine Republican. [volume] (Bellefontaine, Logan County, Ohio) 1855-1905, 1900-01-05
A MethodicaI Doctor.

1.-THE most methodical man In New
Orleans is physician of my acquaint-
ance," said a druggist. "In one corner
of his bedroom are three valises stand
ingin row. Above them on a rack are
a travelling cap, an umbrella and a
shoulder strap holding mosquito net
ting and macintosh. The doctor has
large country practice. and he keeps
this equipment in readiness for sudden
out of town calls.
zone side of each valise contains a
set of tools, and so ON for a special
class of surgical cases. all different.
but the other sides are exactly alike.
Their contents consist of a change of
linen, copy of 'Robinsol Crusoe, a
bottle of Worcestershire sauce, pipe
and tobacco and a box of dominos.
Thus fortified, the doctor says he can
stand siege of two days on any plan-
tation in the entire south
"When he gets a hurry up call he
simply picks up the satchel that con-
tains the right Instruments and walks
off. He says that his system has saved
an enormous amount of valuable time
and several more or less valuable
lives. New Orleans Times Democrat.