The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1900-09-05


With Strong Sense of Humor :
Play a Joke on the Man with tn
Cigarette.
One Of the two men who boarded n
smoking car of the Rock Island gnbrrba
train had been visiting Chinatown on hi
way over to the station. This 79iab
have been deduced by a close obsarve
| from the long packets Of f1amino va,
million that stuck out of his breast nocke
and from the bamboo stemmed nino tbo
a wrapping Of newspaper onIv half CON
cealed. The two men settled tbamsoI17o
In seat on the shady side, opened tn
window in front of them and produce,
cigars. One Of them struck match
and they both lighted their cigars from
it. ''-' = u
AS the man who held the match SHOOT
it preparatory to throwing it out of th,
window the man from Chinatown said
Hold on. Keep that for a moment ,
opening one of the red packet,
drew 10Th two punk sticks and lighted
them. No6Sdy seemed to notice the
action He locked around for place
to stick them aE1 after searching IN
vain for crack in lSe seat in front i'm
serted them in the bano of his compan-
ions straw hat.
In moment or two the srIcSS began
to throw out delicate wreaths or aro-
matte smoke, and a man in the scar in
front shifted and looked around uneasirv.
The man from Chinatown grinned and
nudged his seatmate.
The train pulled out Of the station
and the current Of air from the omen
window blew the smoke from the burn
ing punk hither and thither, and as it's
sphere OF influence widened the shifts
became more general. When the con
ductor came around to take up the tick
cts, TWO or three men asked him what
the road was burning for fuel 81 had
an idea that the directors might have
approved of a plan to utilize old rubber
oYershoes and obsolete wool mattresses
compressed into bricks" said one pas
senger sarcastically.
i smell something, sure. enough" said
the conductor but 1t seems to me like
feathers dipped in wood alcohol If any
Of you want to come into the baggage
car, I'm sure you're welcome. It doesn't
seem so strong there"
You'd better lock up your little red
ak and bottles Of fire extinguishing
dope, suggested the man from China
town, looking about him. The next in
slant he touched the conductor on the
arm and winked to indicate a young man
three seats back who was smoking a Gig
arctic
That's what the trouble is" assented
the conductor.
When he got around to the cigarette
smoker, he asked him what brand he
used.
"Rameses No. 49," said the young
man, with grateful appreciation of the
conductors interest. They're good"
I'D try either No. 8 or No. SO if 1
were you," said the conductor mildly.
Il think they must have made mis-
take and given you No. 13. l don't be-
lieye they're going to bring you good
luck"
why not?" asked the young man.
Because OF the way they SMELL" said
the conductor.
You can't tell what there is In them
things" remarked a passenger who was
smoking a spotty, greenish brown cigar
that burned in an irregular wedge on
one side.
"See here" said the young man wrath
fully, STRENGTHENING out pair of broad
shoulders, these cigarettes have got to-
bacco in them, but l don't care if it's
hay and oakum. l smoke 'em because. I
want to smoke 'em, and if there's any
body that thinks he can tell me what I
want to smoke he'd better try it right
now"
Il see that the railroads are forbidding
their men to smoke them," observed the
man from Chinatown in a rather loud
tone Of voice, whereat the young man
half raised himself in his seat and then
sank back again and sent stream of
smoke over toward his tormentor. An
other stream doated back from the punk
to meet it, and the young man saw it
and the punk at the same instant.
IF you took them sticks out of your
friends hat it would seem less like
hop joint in this car" said the young
man.
And then the friend had to take them
out because the passengers earnestly re-
quested him to, and the man from China
town laughed and said that he ought to
have known better. AS for the young
man, he lighted fresh cigarette unchai- I
lpDQoO. --(J CHICAGO Rooord