Griggs courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., Dak. [N.D.]) 1885-1902, 1900-08-09
Wanted No More Science
"a alS aS ~ ~ a ~ AZ az ~ n S
Thev onld l;aih.t Turn Honest n IN &C
TAroutIl sl.olI ~. kAl.I!,Mo. Ar..!.

more humGrum but safer occupation
Of coal dealer. is man with a consid-
cradle sense of humor.
Il can tell YOU a story about me
and Andy and Patsy Darlington that
isn't bad fun" he said to me one cay.
ut was like this. Andy and me
often met al the Angel, in .BriXton.
and one day we We're together and
pretty hard up. Well. in comes Patsy
a fellow l never cared much for. al
though he and Andy chummed to-
gether. We saw he'd mething on his
mind, and | thought he wanted me
gone, but Andy would make me stop
for it. Patsy haG been, down near
Leatherhead' to see some friends, and
he thought he'd spotted a good thing.
"'Ever heard of Sir Miles Harold,
sir? o. you have. Well. then, YOU
know that he was nearly millionaire,
if not quite. His father was a big con-
tractor, but Miles was one of them
scientific gents, always bothering
with chemicals and things of that sort.
PATSY came down with the news
that it was a pace worth cracking.
Sir Miles had got some splendid. gold
and silver plate, and, as the house
wasn't we'll guarded, it was an easy
job.
"'You crack it. then, Patsy ses l.
I'm a bit superstitious about scientific
gents
''It's as easy as winkin',' he SEES.
The old fool thinks nothing but about
his playthings.'
ANDY Looked at me and winked.
and then tod Patsy to dry up while
him and me talked it over. At last we
decided that Andy should go Gown and
have look at the job hisself. and if it
was all right we should go in partner
ship over it.
He went the next day. He was
there day or two and came back
quite enthusiastic. and we set to work
at once.
I'VE hired a greengrocers cart, with
a fast pony, to do the job with. Patsy
drove down to Leatherhead and Andy
and me went by train. Patsy was to
look after the cart while Andy and me
got the swag, but the programme had
to be altered. The morning we set out
l slipped on the wet pavement, and
came down on my arm. 1t wasn't
broken. but it was badly bruised and
my wrist was sprained, and l had 10
be odd man out stead of Patsy.
II drew up outside the house as near
to the grounds as l could get. and, my
chums went on. 1t was a. capital n ght :,
10 moon, but starlight.
PATSY had marked a swing window
to the larder, and. being a slim chap.
he wrggled through and went round
to the dining-room window and let
Andy in.
The best of the plate was kept in a
cabinet in the dining-room. it. only
took Patsy % minute or two 10 pick
the lock. and Andy sucked, in his
breath at the ST. ht inside. They We're
busy storing it in the bag. when sud
denly the room blazed With light
electric light. of course-and quiet
voice saiG: Please put your hands
above Your heads. or ! must shoot
at was such a knocl1Gown surprise
that their hands went up almost by
themselves. and they screwed round
their heads 10 see Sir Mles-a. pale.
G.reamylooking gent. with q big fore
heaG-s1anGing in a doorway With a
revolver covering them.
Don give me the trouble to shoot.
gentlemen: it would make ys:ch a
nasty mess on the carpet SEES he. Car
ru1hars. bring me some cord
"A big young fellow stepped for
ward with a laugh and began fast en-
ing their hands and elbows together
after which he hnbbleG their feet
when they We're trussed: up Sir
Miles commanded them to follow him
and they shuttled along. with the
young chap behind. He led them into
;he workshop and made them sill
down.
"'Nery interesting capture. Caruth.
ers.' said Sir Miles. 'Burglars?'
eyes. sir SEES Carruthers.
GU are not very intelligent mem
bers Of your profession.' he ses tc
Andy and Pat. or you would not HAY,
come here. Carruthersl oblige me by
going outside and coming in 10y the
window as these gentlemen did.
want to show them how stupit, ,he,
were
"'Yes. sir he ses, and he went out
and presently bell close to them be
gan ringing softly. He is getting
through the window now SEES Sill
Miles. And this bell'-pointing to an
other-'rang when you opened the
cabinet. You were exceedingly fool
ish'
""If you'll let us go. sir. SEES Andy
speaking his politest. well never b,
foolish no more. You're too clever
gent for us. sir
'Carruthers.' he ses when his mar
came in again. this foolish person sug
gests that l should let them go. IL
does not know how we'll timed thi
visit is. a capital opportunity TO
trying my new battery, Carruthers.
"Carruthers screwed up his face.
"l Cont think l should, sir, ses he
"'Whv not?'
"'It mi ght kill them. sir
"'O.' SEES Sir Miles. as careless as vo,
please, they're lusty fellows: and be
sides. they broke into my house.
Poor Andy and Patsy. sir. We're in