davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1900-08-02

Wanted-A good delivery horse.
Apply to Z. S. Lopez & Sons.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
CHOATE AND THE BABY.
The American Ambassador's Nall
Head Wit in an Address in
ENGLAND.

Lately. at. the opening of free library at
Acton, England, Hon. Joseph II. Choate,
the American ambassador to Great Britain,
delivered an address, and caused much
laughter by his impromptu references to a
baby who persisted in distracting the at
tention of the audience by making it's voice
heard at the most inconvenient moments,
says the San Francisco Argonaut. The first
Interruption occurred early in the speech.
Mr.. Choate was saying: "There is a spe-
cial provision for children in your library,
and I think when men come to make a
choice of residence in Acton they will
not forget that fact" Here the baby
screamed in such manner as to drown the
words OF the speaker: There was some dis
turbance, but Mr.. Choate said: Don't be
disturbed by the baby. Nobody knows bet.
ter than my Lord Bishop that out of the
mouths Of babes and sucklings cometh wis.
DOM" Things went fairly we'll after this,
the baby appearing to be flattered by the
reference, until Mr.. Choate was saying:
HThere: is book with which all of you
Here the baby walled loudly. Except, pos.
siibly, the baby-are familiar" the ambassa.
that of the making of books there is no end.''
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
CREDIT SHE DIDN'T SEEK.
Embarras2ing Position Of an Absent
Minded Woman Who Had Made
a Mistake,

"A lady who keeps summer boarding
house at the seashore near Boston went
down the other day to look the house ever
and find out what must be renewed. She
found numerous umbrellas left by former
boarders, says the Boston Transcript, and
tying them together, she took the bundle
to Boston to have them repaired. She
stopped in at Hovey's and laid the bundle
on the floor at her feet at the counter.
When she had made her purchase, she for
got her umbrellas, and absent-mindedly
picked up an umbrella lying on the coun-
ter, thinking it was hers, or not thinking
at all, and started off.
Then the owner of the umbrella, WON.
an standing next her, seized her and said
brella!" Of course she apologized, feeling
much cut up about it, and went on forget.
ting in her fuster her own bundle of UNI.
brellas. The next day, on her way to Cam.
bridge, she went to Hovey's and readily
recovered her lost package of umbrellas,
which had been kept for her. On the cal
for Cambridge she noticed lady cycling her
very closely. Presently this lady leaned
forward and said to her, with elegant EN-.
phasis:
"You seem to have been more fortunate
to-day!"
It was the lady whose umbrella she had
taken the day before.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
COSTLY THINGS.

In 1885 tulip bulb was sold in Hol-
land for $4,000. It weighed 200 grains.
The most expensive municipal hall
in the world and the largest in the
United States is the city building Of
Philadelphia. The largest clock in
the world is to be in it's tower.
The most costly book in the world
is declared to be Hebrew Bible now
in the Vatican. In 1912 it is said that
Pope Jules II. refused to sell the Bible
for it's weight in gold, which would
amount to 100000. That is the great
est price ever offered for book.
The costhest paintings of modern
times are Meissonier's 1874" and Mil
let's 1.-THE Angelus." NJ. Chauchard
gave $4,000 francs ($17o, ooo) for 1914"
and 10000 francs ($15o.Ooo) for '"The
Angelus." Mr.. Henry Hilton in 1887
paid 5000 for Meissonier's "Fried-
land, 1907" and presented it to the
Metropolitan Museum of Art.
The state capitol at Albany, N. Y,
is the costliest building of modern
times. Nineteen million six hundred
thousand dollars have been expended
on it to date. The capitol at Wash
ington from 1893, when its corner
stone was laid, to- 1878, had cost, in
Guiding its expensive furniture, its al
most annual alterations and repairs,
less than $13,000,O00. l.. .3= Il =
The next to the highest price ever
=. = b
paid for q horse in the world was
$1O5, 900, for which Axtell, the trotter,
was sold in Indiana at the age Of
three years. On January II, 1892,
Arion was sold by Senator Stanford
to I. Malcolm Forbes, Of Boston, for
$4,000. That beats all prices.
Charles Reed, Of the Fairview farm,
Tenn, gave 500, doc for the great
stallion st. Blaise, at sale IN New
York IN October, 1891.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
Twain at the Telephone.

While living at his home at Hartford
Conn, Mark Twain was one morning deep
in the composition of some humorism from
which unexpected good deal, when he was
fosd to thf h telephone ID: a the yam
but in few moments was informed that the
party at the other end of the wire wanted
him. Provoked at the interruption, Mark
went to the telephone, and, after ethelloing'
for some time without an answer, he used
some language not. generally seen in print
but which was certainly picturesque. While
thus engaged he heard an answer in aston
ished tones and recognized the voice Of an
eminent divine whom he knew very well
ems. Il didn't hear what ts YOU said. Nv but.
Ter has been at the telephone and said he
couldn't understand You.o
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
A LITTLE NONSENSE.

PA, what had a teller orter do
when he gifts water on the brain?'
"Oh, dry up."-Indianapolis. Sun.
No Fatted Calf for Him.-The Par
son-"Why don't you return to your
father?" The Prodigal-I don't like
veal."-San Francisco Examiner.
Farmer-"Do you think much but
ter is healthy?'' Gardner-"Yes, il
De healthy, provided it is strong
not healthful." -Boston Transcript.
Observation-Disclosures just got up
and gave his seat to that woman, and
she never thanked him." McSwatters
-"She's his wife."-Syracuse Herald
Old Gentleman-"I guess you don,
like to go to school, my little man, do
you?" Small Boy-"I don't mind d.
goin' AMI don't mind de comm. It's d.
stayin' dere in between dat jars me-
Philadelphia Record.
Age.-"Now, I distinctly recall the
last total eclipse of the sum-" re-
marked Mr.. Homewood. "It occurred
in 1869, you will remember, Miss
bceCuWOOu. SdlU MISS Beech
wood, freezingly; and Mr.. Homewoo6
wondered how he had put his foot il
it this time-Pittsburgh Chronicle
Telegraph.
''Can any of you tell me what 6
fountain is?" asked the teacher Of
the juvenilt class. II can," said q
little fellow at the pedal extremity
of the class. "Well, tell me what q
fountain is" said the teacher. 'It's
a lot of rain squirted through a hole
in the ground" was the prompt re
ply.-Pearson's Weekly.
School Examiner-"Some of ou1
greatest discoveries, my dear friends
have been made by simple means. You
have all heard the story of how Ben
jamin Franklin went out in the storm
and caught the Ii htning?" PRODIGY
eyes, an I heard you tell pa thi:
morning that you caught thunder
when you came home from the lodg,
last night Richmond Dispatch.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
War Notes from China.

The imperial arsenal at Sing-Hi is run.
ming nights, making metal shields with scare
heads on them.
Pnef Bung buying yin all the re- Ts
guard.
Twenty stands of frecracker guns have
been seized in the province of Taka-Nip.
Handles are being fitted to thousand doz
en- enameled toasting forks.
Two hundred assorted kites in the shape
of demoniac dragons are to be sent up tc
brighten away the foreign dogs.
Twenty-Five thousand war gongs are be-
ing laequered in col9Es and provided with
upon as soon as the white devils appear and
are expected to throw them into blue
panic.
There is a, brisk demand for Canton mat
ting bombproofs with rice paper prayer:
eummed on them. These are certain te
turn aside the shells from the invaders
heavy siege guns.-Cleveland Plain Dealer
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
Her T1p OF No Avail.

A determined woman from the west Wis.
tied Washington not long ago for the pur'
pose of interviewing member of the cab
met on subject of interest to her. She
called, as it happened, just at the time when
the frauds in the Cuban postal department
were made public, and the majority of the
presidents advisers, absor bed in consider.
ing the matter, had given instructions that
they were not to be disturbed.
$50 you refuse to take my card to the sec.
retary?" asked the determined lady of the
messenger.
1T would be against my orders, and ]
don't dare to-" replied the messenger, po'
litely.
The visitor turned away in high dudgeon
but happy thought occurred to her and she
retraced her steps. "Here my man." she
said, insinuatingy, "here is SO cents. Now
/ will you take my card in?''
I'm paid bigger salary than that to keep
your card out, madam" responded the
darky, shaking his head.-N. Y. Tribune.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
AUSTRALIANS FREE LUNCH.
Country Are Politely and Plen-
tifully Served.

The free lunch system of the United
States is a thoroughly American insti-
tuition, but transplanted to Australia
it fourishes at least as luxuriantly as
its parent in the great republic. There
a person purchasing a glass of beer at
an inn or restaurant may supplement
it, free of charge, with a cut from q
joint or choice of dishes, says the San
Francisco Examiner.
In this particular bid for custom
Australia has, of course, the important
advantage of meat at next to nothing,
althoughs it should be added, your Sgd.
ney or Melbourne restaurateur charges
you quite as much for your meal as it
would cost you at an establishment of
similar character in London or Paris.
The injury, therefore, that has been
worked upon the ordinary caterer by
the rapid extension of the free lunch
business may be gagged from the fact
that there are at present in Sydney
several first-class hotels where, by pur-
chasing sixpenny drink, you may
partake of cold luncheon the equal OF
which, if eaten in a restaurant, would
cost several times the money-without
the drink.
1 Here there is no indiscriminate self.
help by the patron, no spelling Of the
symmetry of the sirloin by hungry and
inexperienced carvers, no ruthless
wrecking of the lobster salad by selfish
solicitors of lobster without the proper
proportion of lettuce. Here you are
attended to at a handsome cedar coun-
ter, and whatever you may fancy, and
as much of it as you care for, is served
by the walters in attendance. From
dsh to cheese, everything is of the fin.
est, seeing that it represents the sur.
plus, not the remnants, Of the admir-,
able dinner served upstairs the evening
before at five shillings. H.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
MONEY LEFT TO A MOOSE.
PrOvisiOns in q Will for thu Animal's
Old Age Made by an Adj
mirer.

A few years ago the Flasg brothers.
of Rangely, Me-, came upon baby
moose starving in the forest. Whether
the mother deserted it or was fright.
ened away by the hunters, the babe was
there alone. Taking him home, the
two boys built him pen and gave him
milk to drink. Faithfully did they
care for their charge and he, in CON-
pensation, grew in strength and stat
ure, says the Boston Globe.
Then Mark Remission bought him
and reaped harvest in small coins II
the local shows and fairs. Mr.. Kennis-
ton also had black bass that would per-
form tricks, but the gem of his collec.
ton remained Mr.. Moose. Among his
many accomplishments was his ability
to turn off fast mile on the track. 1t
was no uncommon occurrence to see
him hitched into sulky tearing down
the home stretch, his awkward, shamb.
ling gait evoking hearty applause from
the grandstand.
It was now that Mr.. Moose came to
figure more prominently in the affairs
of men. Heretofore he had been mere.
ly an entertainer. Now he was to reap
more everlasting rewards. The game
wardens of the Rangely section decreed
that he should be liberated and re.
turned to his native wilds. But as Mr..
Remission had paid money for his
mooseship and had been frequently of.
fered good money for the same, the de-
mand did not meet with immediate &C.
quiescence. Nor did the moose wish to
change his style of living.
The white mans burden was easy to
bear and the feed was beyond reproach.
The liberty of the village was his. The
most choice meadows were his stamp.
ing grounds. And from the Remission
farm some three miles from town the
unbroken forest stretched away in a
never-accepted' invitation.
Still the game wardens insisted.
Then Israel R. Bray, man of property,
died and left in his will the sum of ST.
600 to be expended in giving the moose
the advantages of civilization. When
once this fact became known the mat
ter was dropped, and Mr.. Moose had
only to live in dignity and ease until
death claimed him as her own.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
The
Pi1khan1


Is q proud and peoskass
record. IL Is q record Of
cure of constant con-
quest over obstinate Ills
Of women; Ills that deal
out despair; suffering
that many women think
Is W0I,1al,:S natural hos,L-
faBo; disorders and dis
placements that drive out
hope-
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
JaDau Anxious.

Japan has become alarmed over the emf
grafton of many of her residents to this coun-
try. 1t is stated that they are lured here by
misrepresentation and then turned adrift.
delude people into believing that any other
medicine is equal to Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters for stomach disorders. In the Bit
tiers lies safety and surety. It is worth its
weight in gold in all cases Of indigestion, con-
stipation, dyspepsia, malaria, fever and ague.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
Best for the Bowels.

No matter what ais you, headache to a
cancer, you will never get we'll until your
bowels are put right. Cascarets help nature,
cure you without grippe or pain, produce
easy natural movements, cost you just 10
Cascarets Candy Cathartic, the genuine, put
up in metal boxes, every tablet has G. G. G.
stamped on it. Beware of limitations.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
MetamOrphOsed.

It takes only little thing in a translation
to make it 60 wrong. The missionary who
vernacular the good old hymn: Crock Of
ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in
thee" was taken off his feet when he heard
his converts singing with pious fervor:
Every old stone, split for my benefit, let
me get under one of your fragments."-
San Francisco Wave.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
Ravares OF White Ants,

The white ants Of Manila are fond OF
wood. They bore holes from the out.
side, enter in thousands and eat articles
Of furniture until little is left but mere
shells. Sometimes they devour the legs
of chairs, SO that when 9 person sits
.lown the chair crumbles under him
and he suddenly and ungracefully land,
IN the hoor-N. Y. journal.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
Reaentlnx an Inault.

Mars, searching among the stars for one
who would love him for himself alone, had
assumed a modest disguise. Thus he wooed
Venus, and told her of his love.
care you serious?" she asked, cautiously.
MADAM" he cried, 'you insult me-"
For Sirius, as every one knows, is the
Dog star.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

To Cure a Cold in One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money if it fails to cure. Csc.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
His Sole Object.

Stranger You say old Zeke only had a
knife when he was tackled by the grizzly.
Did he live to tell the story?"
Native (disgustedly)-That pears ter be
the only thing he did liv fur, doggone it,
Philadelphia Record.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

IT don't enjoy my meals any more" an
old fellow said to-day. II ate up all the
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

"Well," said the street car conductor, as
he rang up another fare, 'I'm not much of
a politician, but I'm generally for the
ticket" -Indianapolis News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

PUTNAM FADELEss DYES do not stain the
hands or spot the kettle. Sold by all drug.
piStS.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

Carter's Ink II Used by the
greatest railway systems of the United States
They would not use it if it wasn't the best.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
DO Your Feet Ache and Burnt

Shake into your shoes, Aliens Foot-E Ease,
z powder for the feet. It makes tight or New
Shoes Feel Easy: Cures Corns, Itching,
Sweating Feet. All Druggists and Shoe
Stores sell it, Csc. Sample sent FREE. Ad.
dress. Allen S. Olmsted. LIE Roy, N. Y.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

Indigestion is bad companion. Get rid
Of it by chewing bar of Adams Pepsin
Tutt Fruit after each meal.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

Piso.s Cure is the best medicine we ever
1sed fol-. all affections of the throat and
,ungs-Wm. 0. Endsley, Vanburen, Ind,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

It's when man is completely down that
be is really up against it.-Indianapolis
News,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

, In politics, the wise man layeth pipes
lille the fool only spouts.-Detroit Jour
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

One Of the funniest things at an amateur
concert is the sad faced girl in clinging
black dress who walls comic song.-Atch.
ison Globe.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
AlWaya Dresaed Ur

80 Always Dressed Up.
If all were rich, no doubt 'twere best, in
some ways, we suppose; but, oh, how sad
to lose that zest we feel in Sunday clothes
Indianapolis journal. i -. - =
. No place il SO worthless that it has not
some loafers. Washington Qa.) Democrat.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

The. circulation of the blood is an af-
fair of the heart.-Chicago Daily News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

Do not stone the baby when you rock the
cradle.-Chicago Daily News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

The crowbar opens but it never Closes
Chicago Daily News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
DENMARK.

An Englishman was sunstruck while
walking on the streets in Copenhagen.
He fell down upon the stone pavement,
and his injuries from the fall were seri-
Gus.
The Gyldendal Publishing Company, of
Copenhagen, has commenced the publica-
ton of an edition of Bjornson's works.
But the first two numbers are so
wretched, from a typographical point of
view, that the work must be done over
again, or the subscribers will cancel their
contracts.
The managers of the leading theaters
of Copenhagen have raised the admission
fees about Is per cent.
The fifth of June, the fifty-first ami
versary Of the ratification Of the consti-
tuition of Denmark was celebrated extern
sively throughout the country, the wealth
err being very fine. Realizing that con-
sistency is a jewel. the conservatives did
not turn out in great numbers on this
particular day. But the liberals largely
made up for this deficiency. AS on many
former occasions, Woodrofflund. Copen-
hagen, attracted thousands of people who
were treated to all sorts of enjoyment,
including addresses by several leading
public men.
The rat war in Copenhagen has been
very ably written up by Emil Zuschlag,
a civil engineer. The war lasted Is weeks
and the number of rats killed during that
time was 100000. The bounty paid for
each rat was 81 cents and the city gov
eminent spent $500 on the war. The
author does some very interesting fgur-
ing. He claims that the damage done by
the rats is about one-fourth of one cent
day, which would make $3.50 day or
$91 $50 year for the 100000. And still this
does not include the natural increase OF
the pest. 1t takes no genius to see that
the money invested in the attempt
brought handsome returns, and the Cop
enhagen rat war has attracted more OF
less attention in all large cities, for they
are all infested with rats.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

Halls Catarrh Cure
Is a Constitutional Cure. Price. Use.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
Cream Custard Free.

All Grocers are giving, with package of
Burnham's Hasty Jellycon, a loc package
of Burnham' s Cream Custard. Hasty jelly
con is the finest Jellycon preparation. No
cooking or baking. Dissolve in hot water
and set away to harden. Flavors: Orange,
Lemon, Raspberry, Strawberry, Wild
Cherry and Peach. Order to-day.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

WHEN WRITING TO ADVERTISERS PLEASE
state that You saw the Advertisement In this
paper.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1900-07-18

A. N. K.-G 1
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1900-06-22
CLUB STANDING.
ORDERS TO MIlITIAMEN.

The following order issued from the
office Of the adjutant general Is of great
interest to all enlisted men:
To indicate service, all enlisted men
who have served faithfully for one term
of emil stment will wear as a mark OF
distinction upon both sleeves OF the
blouse. below the elbow. diagonal
half-chevron of gold lace, one-half an
inch wide. stitched upon piece Of cloth
of the color Of the blouse. and extending
from seam to seam. the front end near
est the cuff. and half an inch above
the point OF the cuff.
In like manner an additional half
chevron will be worn above and parall-
eled to the first, for each three years OF
enlistment and faithful service. Dis
tance between each chevron TO be one
fourtn of an inch.
Commanders of companies will see
that the men in their commands wear
only the service stripes that they arc
entitled to under existing orders.
General order No. IA. announces the
granting of the application OF Capt
Edgar II. Barker. Battery A, Light Ar
tillery, to be placed on the retired list
and gives his military record: July &.
1878. appointed Marker. First Battalion
Infantry. Second Brigade. r. l. NJ.
April 21. 1880. appointed corporal Bat
terry A. Il ght Artillery. r.. II. I. NJ: Oct
2. 1882, commissioned second lieutenant, /,
June 2. 1885. commiss oned first lieuten-
ant. and so borne until June 2. 1891.
when he was commissioned captain. .
served. as captain In Battery A, Li~
Artillery. II. II. I. NJ. until June I. 1900
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1900-06-22
IM,UaiMrE COMPANIES AFFECTED.

New York. June 22.--InquIries at the
New York offices OF several British in
surance companies which are said to
have large risks In China, showed that
most OF the railroad. manufacturing
and commercial interests OF European
capitals are fairly well inquired. and
that many members OF the diplomatic
service OF the western nations carry n
certain amoupt OF life insurance.
The marine insurance companies,
particularly those insurlng craft enter
inR Chinese waters. are also affected.
No demands for insurance against
war risk have been made at Lloyds.
London. by shippers and consienees.
yet. although a number Of inquiries
have been received.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1900-06-22

Thir question arises IN the family ev-
ery day. Let US answer II today. Try
Jeii-O, n delicious and healthful des-
sert. Prepare in two minutes. No
ir water and set to cool. Flavors:-
Lemon. Orange. Raspberry and Straw
te--y. Get . packaRs at your grocers
eooay. 10 cta
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1900-06-22
SMALL SCORES.
Gross Wind Prevented Any
High Marks at The State
Rifle Range Yesterday.

The weather was not at all good for
shooting at the state rifle range yester-
day and the scores were small as re-
suit. The wind blew almost dead
across the range all day and at vari-
Gus times II was practically impossible
to hold rifle on the bulls eye for q
second at a time.
At the two longer ranges not a single
run OF 20 was made until nearly six
o'clock.
Private Prescott made the best score
yesterday getting three to start with
and then keeping inside the four rings
the rest OF the time.