Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-12-29
OMAR NHAYYAM IDiOCY

AhS ciiioi INLAY ali luiut - IA eaS
land. Not few of him. as well quite
number of her. aff1ict their friends and
casual acquaintance right here In little old
Washington. The Omar Khayyam Idiot
may not, and tn all likelihood does not.
know Shelley's musical remarks with ref
erence to a sensitive plant from Keats low
murmurlng illusions to the nightingale.
The Omar Khayyam Idiot If large extracts
from Shakespeare's "CoriolanuS' or Rich
ard 1II'' were handed to him. or her, with
out the titles of the plays affixed to the
extracts, would in all probability not know
them from the illusions Of the great rag
time poet, Rudyard Kipling. But the Omar
khayyam Idiot is absolute pals and chums
with oriental literature. all right, all right
The Omar Khayyam Idiot makes mystic
rous illusions to the Rig-Vedas and the
Mahabarata, and he seems to know as
much about Haffz old HafZ did himself.
which really couldn't have been a whole
lot, at that, when the old sinners incoher-
ent utterances are taken into consideration
The whole truth Of the matter with refer
ence to the Omar khayyam Idiot probably
is that he, and she, has got hold of 40
cent copy of Fitzgerald's translation of the
Rubaiyat somewhere or another has men,
orized the thing from cover to cover like
the school examination young one who
shouts about the Assyrian coming down
like the wolf on the fold, and makes null
sance of himself and herself, simply be-
cause 1t is his, and her. nature to do the
same The Omar Khayyam Idiot, wearing
a sort Of dreamy. sympathetic smile over
your pin-headedness, nevertheless endeav-
ors to hurl bit of spirituality into your
coarse frame by explaining his, or her. con-
ception Of the esoteric. occult meaning Of
the old tentmaker'' verses-the Omar
khayyam Idiot always says the old tent
maker in familiar sort of way. as If his,
or her. ancestors who figured in the cru
sades, were pretty thick with Omar. Nine
out of ten Of the Omar Khayyam Idiots will
endeavor to tell you that when Omar refers.
as he does from beginning to end. to Wine.
with a capital w, he is merely singing
symbolically, it were, and that it isn't
Booze. with a capital B. that he means at
all.
If you happen to heave sigh when
you're overworked and tired and say by
jung! l wish I could take a day off and
skate out into the country! the Omar
Khayyam Idiot will regard you with
imbecile grimace and murmur something
about
"A Book Of Verses underneath the Bough,
A jug Of Wine. Loaf Of Bresd-and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wildarness''-
and when knowing all the time, of course)
you ask him. her. what the dickens that
gibberish Is. he. or she, regards you with
look of great sadness. And inquiries, rs it
really possible that you are not familiar
with your Omar?' The only thing to do
under such circumstances is to reply that
you don't know Omar well enough to Dor
row cigarettes and paper money from him
but such reply would throw awful loads
of sadness into the Omar Khayyam IDIOT.
If somebody you know happens to die,
and you mention the fact in the presence
of the Omar Khayyam Idiot, the latter will
always begin to gurgle something about
The Worldly Hope men set their Hearts upon
Tm mr., Ashes-or It nrGFpers: and anon
Lighting little Hour two-was gone"
IF you follow this right up with a quota
| ton from THE rose is red. the violet blue
the Omar Khayyam Idiots countenance
sumes such look of dumb pain that you
feel you have been brutal
When. in the presence of an Omar Khay-
yam Idiot, you happen to mention that you
are sorry you, staid out so late the night
before, and that, In short you have a
head. and that you think In the future
you'll be good. the Omar Khayyam Idiot
breaks out with something like
Indeed. indeed, Repentance oft before
And then. and tli"n came Srrinr. and Rosein hand
My threadbare Penitence aperes tore
If you happen to be walking under the
light OF the moon when there's an Omar
khayyam Idiot in the crowd it's better
than ten to one that you'll hear something
about
How oft hereafter VIII She and wane;
How oft hereafter rising look for
Through this same Gar'len-and for In vain.''
The Omar Khayyam Idiot is depressing
bnt he. she. Is harmless The Omar
khayyam Idiot pretends to take very
careless, unconventional view of life. par
tculary the he Omar khayyam idiot, and
he quotes the Grape. with an upper-case G.
increasingly as If the same were his only
solace. 1t seems to have been Of the
kindly old chap who lived over yonder In
Persia such long time ago; but the writer
hereof never yet met male Omar Khay-
yam Idiot who could get outside of two
consecutive high balls without becoming
Wabbly on his pins and beginning to talk
like a merry round Wherefrom 1t
would appear that the Omar Khayyam
| Idiot is whole heap Of bluff, and that
milk and graham waters are in reality
about his size.