The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1900-06-06

Twas first established between Kimberley
and Lord Methuen's column on the Mod
der river it fairly outdid itself. The
town, which had already borne some
of the rigors of the siege, was naturally
anxious to hear news Of the relieving
force, or, at any rate, to receive some
acknowledgement that it was ~investet
by the Beers. Greatly to its disappoint
ment and indignation. this was the first
message flashed to Colonel KekeWich
"Please inform the Remount depart
ment, Wynberg, what is the number
marked on the left hoof of horse sup
piled to Sergeant O'Gorman" To the
depressed garrison of Kimberley this
message sounded like mockery of then
sufferinge, but it was merely a display
of red tape.
On the authority of Mr.. Rhodes, an
other story is told of officialism in Kim
berley itself Throughout, the siege the
military authorities failed to record the
death of a single colonial. though local
ly raised forces were the main strength
of the garrison. Nevertheless, in the
Kimberley garrison orders occurs no.
| tification to the effect that Mule No. -
having died is hereby struck off the
strength of the North Lancashire regi-
ment." To red tape transport animal
of the regular army is Of more conse-
| quence than many troopers and officers
| Of irregular corps.
| An official not so long ago went some
! little distance from London on public
| business. On his return he sent in a bill
| of the expenses he had incurred on the
! journey. One item was the small sum
| of threepence, opposite which, for want
of better term, he wrote porter" To
his astonishment the bill was returned
to him with an intimation that no al
lowance was made for liquors. He ex-
planned that he paid the money, not for
drink. but to a station porter for car
rying his bag to the train. This was
satisfactory; nevertheless to save flu
ture misunderstanding he was asked
to fill in the item as porterage.
When peg to hang an overcoat on is
needed in an ordinary office, either one
of the clerks puts 1t in or workman is
asked to do it. Such simple and direct
methods find no favor in a world ruled
by red tape, as the following incident
illustrates: The necessity for row of
pegs on the door of room in public
building having arisen, an application
to that effect was sent in to the board of
works, 1t was returned on the ground
that the wrong department had been
consulted. The engineering department
at WoolWich was next tried, and with
better success for in due course an Off
cial travelled up to London, at consider
able cost to the taxpayer, to see what
was required to be done. This was the
preliminary to business, which, after
some delay, appeared in the form of a
mechniac. who put up the pegs. Thus
small job, which might have been done
for few pence, cost as many pounds in
the interest of red tape.
colonial official who held an APP
pointment in a protectorate, was offered
another in the western Pacific, which he
accepted. To get over the ground he
had been given an allowance which, 1t
was decided, was to be continued in his
new sphere of work. Unfortunately
horse was not required in a group of
widely scattered coral islands neither
was forage nor a groom. He, therefore,
asked the red tape .fiend in Downing
street If he might keep small yacht in
stead, as otherwise it would be impos-
sible for him to get about. Permission
was readily granted, and the western
Pacific official gayly took up his new
duties. But he reckoned without red
tape. In making out the schedule of his
expenses he wrote down 30 much for the
wear and tear of the yacht. and so much
for the skipper, Months later it came
back to him with the irate demand of Il
red tape clerk as to whether he Sup
posed that the government provided
him with a pleasure yacht" In justi-
flying himself he pointed out that un-
less he hired man to look after his
yacht it might be stolen on his frequent
absences inland, and in any case he re-
quired some one to keep it clean. He
had merely used the word skipper for
want of a better term. The explana-
ton was perfectly satisfactory, but he
was thereafter requested to write yacht
so much, forage so much. 1t was more
convenient!
Fortunately, when red tape comes in
contact with common sense it is red
tape which goes to the wall. A good
story is told of an American military
secretary who devised a system which
compelled every one who went on bust
ness to General Banks to procure a
ticket from a member of the staff, the
of which at the door gained
his admission. One day burly colonel
of an eastern regiment came to the door
OF the private Office at headquarters and
requested that his name be given to the
general Have you ticket?" be was
asked "a ticket" echoed the colonel
with scorn. mo, sir, haven't" "You
can't enter here without one" was the
reply. Sir" said the colonel when
General Banks becomes a puppet show.
and have twenty-five cents to spare, |
III buy ticket to see hinl---not before"
He was admitted.-London Globe