The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1900-02-04
MAY IRWIN'S TALE OF WOE.
PEOPLE VIM THINK HER FUNNY
AND MONT BELIEJE n DEL fCaiE.


~rsle that chair My furniture has all 10
Ia big and strong; but some OF It is more com
to,,,b than the rest. II the bent wood furni,
,ure comp MES depended upon me for a living
they'd 60 out Of business. Give me a good pad
dad chair. big enough 10 hold all II me and low
enough 10 let me put my fee, on the floor. | couldn'
be aesthetic II ! tried so what's the use OF trying
May Irwin settled herself in a chair that met
her requirements, and demonstrated that II she
couldn't look aesthetic, she could, at least look
uncommonly jolly and comfortable.
Il suppose you want to talk abouthumor. Some
times | hate that word. There are times when
think that having a sense Of humor is The most
tragic thing thatcould happen toh woman. That's
ungrateful, though, for mine has saved my life.
Oh, often. It's the only thing tina, keeps me
alive. Ifitdidn't seem so funny that being funny
should be so tragic, I couldn't keep this thing
up I'm not we'll Probably you think that's
funny, too. II isn't My doctor said, last night
that no one but a physician could possibly be-
lieve that an evenings acting could take the
life out Of a person that, 1t takes out Of me. Even
when I'm well, | give every particle OF my vitality
10 my audience, and at the end Of the evening
am as limp as one OF those dummies in front Of
tailor shops when they pull the stick on, of IT.
Then everybody says that acting is no effort
for me Much they know about II! ! suppose
they wouldn't believe that, nowadays. when
I've landed my last Joke, and the curtain goes
down upon my very humorous self. | stumble
into the dressing room and cry for half nm hour
before can get ready to 60 nome That's funny
too, isn'tit"
The actress gave the infectious chuckle lhat
has enabled her to push the immortal Washing
ton hard for first place in the hearts Of his coun-
try men. Her tale Of woe appeared to amuss
her in spite OF its sadness
Il can produce witnesses who have seen me
do it. They thought il was the funniest hing
they had ever seen. Oh, I'm a success as a com
edy actress, even in my darkest moments It's a
terrible thing not TO he able To help being fat
and Jolly. I've played through nervous chlls
this winter, turned my back to the audience, 10
hide the way my face was working and my teeth
chattering, and gone on with my lines and got
my laughs. But. bless you no one ever believes
I'm tired and used up You member the first
act Of Sister Mary don't YOU You know my
husband forbids my seeing a caller, and | say,
What shall | tell him | can't send word I'm
sick. He wouldn't believe it, He'd come ON
up to see how Hook when I'm sick introduced
those lines one night when | was feeling perfectly
desperate and wondering how ! could ever pull
through the play They expressed my situa
lion exactly. For the las, two months, every
time I've come to the end Of the second act where
I sit down on the floor, you know I've felt as II
I wanted never to get M again, I'd like Just to
sit there, with the feathers in my hair. until Judr
ment Day. I'm afraid I'll Try it some night
but, so far, I've pulled myself together for the
last act Luckily there isn't much required
Of me in ii.
Il don't know how I'd get worked up for the first
Two acts, III IL weren't for that LITTLE scene with the
servant who has been discharged. That thing
Is funnier 10 me every time II happens, and It al
ways starts me of we'll, no meter how glum I've
been feeling You see, my own maid does that
little act, and she's having the time Of her life
It's her ,hrst appearance On any stage and she's
So proud OF her dramatic career that I'm afraid it
will spoil her for domesticity. \, first We had
alot Of talkee talkee IN the play about a discharged
servant and We didn't like II decided that II
would be much better and put the whole thing IN
a nutshell II We could have the servant lust
founce across the stage and wither US with a
glance, We blocked II out that way, and then il
occurred to me that I'd have my maid Gussle do
the act ussle Jones is the name on the pro-
gramme and after the opening night one Of
the critics said in his paper, that Miss Gussie
he thought some young actress had backed up
Tor the part The sudden fame almost killed
to what | was telling. I knew the girl would Try
the thing II | told her 10 do IT that's always
enough fI her No matter what | told her TO do,
she'd have a try at it She's the best maid that
weather. Nobody else could get along with her
couldn't get along without her She's Jewel
and she's o crank. ! don't mind the Crankiness
az Az dop pay any, attention b IT. know her too
well, Why I've had her with me for years. and
know her backward \ few days before the
play opened ! said a. Cusse:
There's a rehearsal ut II. | want you to be
at the theatre
She went down and We told her exactly what
We wanted her to do.
NO you understand Just what to dog
She did it jus, as she would have s.ued M +
mp IN my sleeve for me. II was all in the days
work. 'She does Il we'll, too, doesn't she? iut
the way L goes Of all depends on the mood
sne ISM lhatS what amuseS me 50. | can tell
the minute she steps out from the wing, wha, she
thinks about me. You see it is her golden oppor-
unity In private lie she never dares resent
ANYTHING and show me how she feels about 10
hut on the stage, that's her cue; and tell YOU She
g;ets IN her work sometimes, II say or do some
thing that puts me on her black books. She lust
hayes up her wrath and sCOrn until that evening,
and lets them of at me az she goes by me- ON the
stage. lfalrly shrlvel up under her look. and she's
such a 10y TO me that she always puts mo i'm tim,
for the first two acts, II she'sina very good humor
toward me the scene doesn't go off with any
snap at all, She isn't half saucy enough, 80 |
about $40 every evening. / couldn't drsg her her
of the stage now. I've fixed myself ThereIl
be no use in any ones furnishing me- a play, IN
Gussie It's a pity she isn't as funny TO the audi
ence az she is 10 me-
do your own lines seem funny 10 YOU" asked
the reporter.
Indeed they do. There's no Use in trying To do
an aci mt doesn, really appeal To me ms am using
.But after a long run, Surely your sense Il
humor Lsnt elastic enough to stretch over y whole
lhdts all you know about IT, In the FIRST
pace, the Jokes aud scenes aren't the same. The
"rlSlnai play could hardly recognize itself at the
end OF our season, New possibilities, new situa-
night II l stuck 10 one unchdnging version
rRht along Ia le queered In no time. The mo
ment an act becomes mechanical With mo niIsi
change II in some way. As soon as | know n song
10 wen 'hat can give II Just AZ usual and yet all
the tlTne he thinking Of other things It's lime Tor me
=" drop u ana look up something else. II myself
don fnd what m doing amusing and arsnrtlur
my hold upon the audience is gone. The Scenes
hon ! dptcal To me- the same way twice in sIcrps-
sion. and ! try them in any old way that occurs T.,
me az good: ] don't suppose there IS ever A Der.
Torrance where keep Ia my lines
Doesn z that demOrali1r yuUr SuppnrlF"
sually until they get used 10 me N.v
recruits almost haze nervous prostrn,ion ut first.
Poor things, They 90 through t0rtures ~ en-.
pense, wondering what viii de- nrNt Imsi.
ways good 10 them. though gn ahead and heye
fun with myself, but | always lead LprL n, tI,ar,
and give them their cues. don I dare do any tIi,'y
else. Its the rareSt thing imaginable Ia ind soma
one VINO VIII enter INTO my mood ana play unin
me I'm very fond of one Of the women IN M
PRESENT company but my excursions outside The
INES always have the most disastrous effect ,rrr
net strike her dumb, deaf and hind She ms
improved about II, though. told her th,, uLna"1T
she found me talking things she had never bae,d
before she must forget all about the audien md
IMAGINE me were together al nome. and tbst .La
must say whatever ordinary thing She would ssy
under those circumstances, no matter how i,I'n?7,"S
ana nnlmDOTtQnt II might IN. '''''lH |