The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-02-02
Mr.. Jobson Gets Dinner
VIZ HEN Mr.. Jobson got home from
w his office at five o'clock the other

WHEN Mr.. Jobson got home from
w his Office at five o'clock the other
afternoon he found the front door
locked. Concluding that the catch had
accidentally dropped, he got out his
latch key and opened the door. He
was surprised to find the vestibule
door locked, too. Mumbling something
about the ineffcacy and imbecility of
modern patent locks, he used his latch
key on the vestibule door also, and en-
tered his abode. He had hung his coat
and hat on the rack before he noticed
the queer, lonesome silence that broods
over a house the occupants of which
are all out. Mr.. Jobson was visibly rat
fed.
"Jane!" he called to his wife, some
what commandingly from the bottom
of the stairs, at the same time mutter-
ing something about women who stay
upstairs primping all the afternoon.
But there was no reply. Mr.. Jobson
went to the head of the basement stairs.
"Lily!" he called to the black serv-
ant. Lily replied not.
"Well, here's deuced pretty motel"
calculated Mr.. Jobson, spreading his
legs out in the hall and looking savage.
"What's the meaning of it, I'd like to
know? Man comes home from toll
and drudgery at his regular daily hour
and finds his home as deserted as q
northwestern boom town church. Wife
gadding the streets, servant off attend
ing some five o'clock tea and parlor So
cial, and no more sign of dinner than
of elephant tracks! And I'm so hun
cry that I could eat burro stuffed
with firecrackers! Now, this is the
worst yet. I'm willing to do as much
and to stand as much as the next man
for the sake of peace and quiet life,
and to keep my home together, but I'll
be eternally fibbertgibbeted if this
isn't too"
The situation bore so heavily upon
Mr.. Jobson's spirits that he couldn't
finish the sentence. He set to work
thinking out schemes whereby he
could exhibit his displeasure. He was
in two minds as to whether he would
receive Mrs. Jobson upon her return
with fiery and sarcastic illusions, or
greet her with solemn, martyr-like dig
nifty, displaying evidences of grief and
disappointment too profound for ade-
quate expression. Mr.. Jobson felt very
much abused. He looked around to
see if there was any note of explana-
ton tackled to the top of the bureau,
or resting on the mantel, or stuck in an
easel on the piano. There was no note.
'Nope," unused Mr.. Jobson, when he
had finished his search, there's not
even line of explanation. Just plain
case of heartless, callous indifference.
And after the way have toiled and
moiled-"
The thought was almost too much
for Mr.. Jobson's composure. He COL
lected himself, however, with great ef-
fort, and decided upon course to pur-
sue. At first he reflected that it would
be a good scheme for him to write
short, jerky! note addressed to Mrs.
Jobson, stick it up in some prominent
place, and then depart for wild, tu-
multuous time of it downtown, return
ing at three o'clock in the morning in
a night-liner and an aggressive frame
of mind. But he remembered that the
last time he had chosen this method
of exhibiting his displeasure over q
fancied grievance he had hardly been
able to drag himself around for week
afterward.
"Too much of a boomerang that way"
thought Mr.. Jobson, deciding not to
have recourse to the tumultuous plan.
II know just what I'll dol" he sud-
denly thought, and he proceeded i'm
mediately to put his scheme into oper-
alton. He took off his coat and elab-
orately rolled up his sleeves. Then he
descended to the basement kitchen.
He lighted all the burners in the gas
range, coming perilously close to blow
ing himself to eternity in the opera
ton, and started in to cook dinner for
himself. First he dumped about half
a pound of coffee into the pot, and, FILL
ing it up to the top with water, put it
on to boil. Then he dug around for ma
terials wherewith to make himself
some corn bread. He ranged all the
AAolCAAdAS dOOuC AAl1ll Ou TIC kltCQcn
table, and within five minutes he was
in corn meal, molasses and other things
up to his elbows. He put great many
ingredients in the corn meal, and even
looked at the Worcestershire sauce and
the cayenne pepper. He managed to
get the pan into the oven after 30 min
utes of exhausting labor, by which time
he was sight, as, in fact, was the whole |
kitchen. Then Mr.. Jobson carefully
sharpened the bread knife and hunted
up the bacon. He cut off three half
fnch-thick slices of the bacon with the |
bread knife, incidentally gashing his
left forefinger pretty badly. After 60
ing upstairs and binding up his slith-,
cred finger, he doggedly returned to
the job of getting his dinner !
b
y, 5ee.