The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1900-04-29
HAD KICK COMING.
A Citizen Who Failed to Properly
Post Up.
washington star.

He took his stand at the near side
Of the street as usual After about
four minutes a two-car train came
along at full speed. The man, who had
been glancing over the headlines Of his
paper, folded it up and placidly waited
for the car to stop for him. 1t didn't
stop. 1t went by like an ice yacht,
there being few people crossing the
street at thar hour as the train
whizzed by the man waiting at the.
corner OF CorcOran and Fourteenth
streets, the mOtorman shouted some in
distinct directions and pointed TO the
other side of the street.
The man looked mad
What's the matter with that infer
nal idiot, I'd like to know" he growled.
| And what the dickens was that he
yelled at ne? You'd thinklthe darned
old train was going to fire. If there's
any one particular thing that makes
me hot all over it's TO have a car
shoot by me this way and leave me
standing like blasted hobo that's been
ditched from a hog train! I'd give
$3.50 to have that condinged motor
mans number I'd take a day off to
go to the superintendent of the line,
and if 1 wouldn't burn that dog goned
but / suppose they'd tell me the
trains were bit late on the schedule,
or some such fuzZy-wuZZy excuse as
that, and I'd get famed, like every
body does that goes up against bloat-
ed corporation"
Thus the man stood and growled to
| himself, looking all the time up toward
the curve at Florida avenue for an
other train. The looked-for train curl
ed around the curve presently, and in
few moments II was at r street. The
man at the corner of Fourteenth and
CorcOran streets stroked his NOUS
tache and prepared to swing himself
aboard. He was surprised to. observe
that the mOtorman made no move to-
ward shutting off the power and put
ting on the brake. The car shot by
him, and again the motorman pointed
across the way and yelled some things
that couldn't be heard by the citizen.
owing to the rafting of the cars and
the buZZing Of the power.
Then the citizen turned purple with
wrath and the veins stood out on his
forehead. What he said can't be set
down. He shook his fist at the train
growing smaller down Fourteenth
street, and he raved and tore around
like a man whose good thing horse
has been left at the post. He whirled
around and jumped up in the air and
all but -frothed at the mouth
"Oh, you da6-binged coyotesi" he
I'shouted, shaking both fists at once, as
if he had the whole board of directors
of the line in front OF him and was
giving them what was coming to
them. You'll get yours, all right Just
wait, dod-gast you'll hope congress'll
reduce the fares on your line to Is of
cent a ride, consarn you, and make
you run the cars every twelve seconds,
night and day. and then wind up by
taking your franchise away, anyhow,
on general principles, you hyenaS! oh,
you
Well. the citizen just stood there and
worked himself up to the verge of apo
pleXy. rehearsing the things he was
going to pour into the ear of the con-
ductOr of the next train when it came
along and he got aboard. He was go
ing to find out the numbers of the two
naotormen ahead, and he was going to
blow the gaff on them to the boss of
the line if it was the last act of his
life. If they thought they were ~oing
to make d monkey and a pin-he. q out
Of him, they were up in the air, mats
all, and if he didn't get even with
somebody, then he didn't know the
multiplication table, and you heard
him shouting, etc. No one really did
hear him shouting, for the streets were
still deserted, but if anybody had been
by and seen and heard him, he'd no
doubt have been put down as a fugi-
tive from the large government foolish
house across the eastern branch
He was still breathing fast and hard
when another train bore down on him
from r street. This time the man was
going to see to it that the motorman
should have no excuse for not stopping.
He raised both arms and tagged the
train like a freight brakeman on the
top Of a cabocse tackled on to a train
of thirty-Seven cars But it was no go.
The motorman didn't choke off the
power nor did he give the brake airy a
twist. Instead. ne pointed down the
street smiled simultaneously and pro-
nounced a number of indistinct words
The car continued on its charted
course.
To look al the citizen then you'd have
thought that he'd been marooned on a
desert isle, or that he'd been clinging
to raft in the middle of the Indian
ocean and steamer had just passed him
by and declined to pick him up. But
he was too mad to say anything He
just looked it all. After a while he
managed to articulate:
"AH right. It's ell right. The next
trainll stop-In bet five hundred bill
lions on that-Or I go to a slab in the
morsue, one or the other. Oh, frabjous
day! Calico, callayi" He didn't use
these latter CALCULATIONS exactly. but
they'll serve TO give an idea Of his
state OF mind.
When, a few minutes later the next
train gained the little rise at the corner
Of r street. the citizen deliberately
spread o. his newspaper in the mid
Ole of the track and sat down thereon,
clasping his knees with his hands. Then
he looked around calmly, seeming to
be quite oblivious to the swift APP
prOach of the train. The motOrman
changed his footbell and shouted. but
the citizen seated in the middle of the
track seemed to be immersed in a
study of the signs over the shops on
| Fourteenth street. The car came to a
halt about five feet away.
Hey. die want TO git run overt" ex-
claimed the mOtorman. wrathily.
But the citizens mad made him
speeches.. He rose from his sitting
posture. walked back, and swung onto
the platform of the first ear, just as
the conductor was pulling the bell The
motorman was growing, IF a cop'd
seen that duck, he'd ha' been pinched,
all right"
When the citizen sat down in the
| car. ne pulled the conductor over to
him.
L would about two thousand words
with youi" he muttered in a tone of
subdued ferocity. 4 want you to make
me a personally conducted explanation.
here and now. how it was that three
pulp headed, pollywog- Drained imbe-
Giles employed by your company to run
trains, deliberately disregarded my
signals and whizZed by me like as if
they were making UP time on cannon
ball expresses, and why they
Die wait for EN- on the nearside of
the street," Interrupted the conductor.
with an amiable grin
Where else would I wait for them!o
shouted the man. where the
But the conductor, still smiling cheer
fully, was pointing 10 a nice new sign
81 in, he e