El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1900-05-19

A Tale OF SChlnderhannes Applied
To the Present Political Mix-O Up
Democrats Dumb And Some
Other Statesmen Talking Too
Much-The Cuban Postal Delin-
ouents-A Constitutional Study
And Some Remarks About the
Electoral College Horseless
CARRIAGES Looking For Horse
special Correspondence of the HERALD.
WASHINGTON, May 12.-Once up
on frosty night Schinder-
hannes stole 300 peddlers. Why he
stole peddlers and why he stole 300 OF
them L don know and my desk copy
of the Compendium of Useless Inform
alton is silent on the point. Anyhow
he did and then he had his troubles
thereover guarding them single hand
ed. It is automatic that one man can
not surround three hundred captives
all by himself unless he is Irish and
Schluderhannes was not-he was
Greek by descent, I think, from the
name. But he was inventive and also
malicious. wherefore he made the
prisoners take off their boots and pile
them in big heap, mixing it up thor
oughly. The peddlers spent the night
worrying over chilblains and cold toes
without a thought of getting away.
Next morning they were . disheart-
ened gang, clothed in profanity az
with a garment but without any special
enthusiasm over anything earthly.
But Schinderhannes had q remedy for
that; he turned them loose on the pile
OF boots. Each of the peddlers
happened to be q poor but grasping
man, and he stopped thinking about
the desirability OF seeing the pearly
gates of the New Jerusalem open wide
for him and concentrated his thoughts
on getting the best boot possible, first
~. and getting the next best boot pos
sible secondly. Without further notice
the air was full of kicking, screaming
Hebrews and boots, big boots, little
boots, high boots, low boots, jack boots
and game boots, any and every kind of
boots, with q few shoes thrown In and
around for good measure. The end
result was q caravan of profoundly dis
satisfied men getting back to town
with mismatched assortment OF foot
wear And Schinderhsnnes counted
the end worthy the means.
I'm afraid Schinderhannes has sent
his al form back here to Washing
ton and stolen the political boots of
congress. Anyhow up at the capitol
is struggling mass of politicians, not
a man of whom has all of his
regular political footgear on and all
of whom are disgrunted thereat. The
repu blIcans who normally would be
promoting the Nicaragua canal and
the justly celebrated Monroe doctrine,
in the senate are cluboinR both,
(knifing both is better term) In the
interest OF the Hay-Psuncefote treaty,
while Morgan, a democrat, uomfnally
at least, is fighting for them. In the
house it's the other way around. The
democrats are advocating the dis
franchisement of our "brOther in black"
down south, but weeping over the
taxation without representation" OF
the maroon tinted gentlemen in Luzon
and Porto Rico. Also their mouths
are filed with wild enthusiasm for .
man named Bryan, q Nebraskan L be-
lieve he Is, but their hearts aren't-not
any. The republicans are equally en-
more so maybe, for Mr..
II you take current talk at
face value.
One evidence OF the general mix up
Is the vice-presidential situation.
Theoretically everything is cut and
dried for the nomination of Mckinley
and Bryan by their respective crowds |
md neither side will admit for . |
that there ia any controversy |
aboutf It. That's the best way to en-
sure its happening thst way, Of course.
But in order to maintain public in
;erest in the Kansas City and Phil |
adelphia unparalleled aggregations.
which tends to fade under the belief
that they will be hippodromes, we are |
ioing our best 10 ''sic'' on everybody |
accessible Into free for-all scram BILE |
for the vice-presiden nominations.
VIII erefore there's more row per cubic |
nch over the rear end nomination |
han was ever known before. The In
Il pient candidates are all coyly willing |
except Roosevels. He isn't-pot by |
several maj ority. There is q stupid |
New York paper called the Verdict,
.un with battle-axe style Of humor and |
neat-axe cartoons, which has a clever |
hing for once. II is big picture of |
.he uica< nraSidantial cali hnftin0 I'M