Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-10-20
THE JOBSONS' GAS RANGE

ati. OSDoStNo INV tNHiN09
Last fall Mrs. Jobson remarked to Mr..
Jobson that she would like to have gas
range-that gas ranges were SO convenient,
and so on.
Gas range, hey?" replied Mr.. Jobson at
that time. Wouldn't an ivory and gilt piano
SET in the dining room wall do you? Or
wouldn't you like nice pair of cobs, now,
and a 5000 T-cart, with red running-gear?
What's the matter with few thousands of
dollars worth of Meissoner's paintings? By
the way, there's 5000 prize bull dog for
sale in New York, l see; think you'd like
him? I tell you what'd be a novel idea:
Take the carpet up in the parlor and inlay
the parior floor with gold dollars, quar-
ter of an inch apart. Think you'd like to
buy few of the Romanoff sables? Can't L
purchase a little ready-made trust of some
kind or other for you? Y might as well
have these things. you know. They're in
the market, and what's the use of letting
anything stay in the market? Hey?"
Well said Mrs. Jobson, Its SO easy to
get breakfast on gas range. All you
have to do is to touch a match to
"Oh, it's the easiness of a gas range that
curdles your imagination, is it? said Mr..
Jcbson. L spose you'll be demanding that
L have a moving sidewalk put in this house
next, Ell? Wouldn't you like to have an
adapted cash register in the kitchen? d We
need wireless telephony in the management
of this household? No? That's queer!
What's the reason you haven't made a
stand for an X-ray apparatus before this?
Convenient, hey? Sos spare s. note a
pretty convenient and handy thing to have
around, Mrs. Jobson, and, with your kind
permission, I'm going to have one or two
Of those useful pieces of engraved paper
clinging to me right along, whether you
banker for everything comprised within the
pages of the complete Patent Office Gazette
n nnt IL fnc on oh 4.
il such a frightfu task, then, for you to
stand around and watch the girl broil me a
chop and boil ME an egg in the morning?
Because, If you really think you're over
worked, why, Pll try and find some means
But gas range makes dirt at ALL ~
interrupted Mrs. Jobson, while a coal range
makes dust and smudge. and sometimes it
doesn't burn, and the ashes get over every
thing, and one time the oven is too hot and
another time it is too cool, and
| That's all right" cut in Mr.. Jobson but
coal cook stoves have been here a long
| time. and the coal range suits me all right.
| III buy you a whole bunch of toy balloons
and Noah's arks and tin soldiers and auto
matte spiders and things like that Mrs.
Johson, but I'm not a subscriber to this
| theory of modern household science. and
guess you'll have to trudge along your
Wearisome. abused path without a gas
| range. l know you've got an awful lot to
| endure, and that Mrs. kaystreet is of the
| opinion that You really Cughtn't to take 80
much from a brute of u husband who has.
in addition. a roll of fat on the back of his
neck-but the Jobson plant is going to drift
| right along without any gas range all the
same. and that's all there is about it. Now
| ! wish you'd kindly permit me to read my
| Star paper in neaCe."
| This. as stated above happened last fall.
On Tuesday last Mr.. Jobson got up I'M
usually early, for he had an early appoint
nent to keep down town. The servant girl
was late. and 50 Mrs. Jobson hustled down
| to the kitchen to get breakfast. She had a
| sad time of it with the coal range fire. She
couldn't induce it to burn either by cajoery
| or fattery for fully twenty minutes. and
| the clouds of smoke that it emitted pene-
| trated to the rooms above and brought Mr..
| Jobson down to the kitchen.
What you trying to do. smudge out mos
| quitoes?" inquired Mr.. Jobson, chesrfully.
| Looks like an oil works on fire down here.
| What's the troube?'
ooh, nothing" said Mrs. Jobson. 1.-The
kinding wood was a bit damp, that's all.
| and
..Look a-here. Mrs Jobson." interrupted
Mr.. Jobson. whats the reason you can't
manage to keep yourself a little more up to
| date. Ell? Why will you persist in sticking
| to things that We're worn out and deader' n
I gnats thirty or forty years ago? Why. in
/ short. haven't you got a gas range for this
kitchen, instead of that miserable old con-
| traption, that was probably in use in the
| age of the cave dwellerS?
| Mrs. Jobson did a bit of "a pid thinking.
| bI, uOll Ilhc EdilStS, SHE Sdlu,
pettishly. These new-fanged things don't
! appeal to me. Moreover. think they're
! dangerous gas ranges. I wouldn't have
! one Of EN- around.
'Oh you wouldn't, hey?" said Mr.. Jobson
| kind of a lofty way you've got of putting
| the matter, isn't it? Surprising I'd have
| one of 'em around. what'd you do about
/ it then, beg to inquirer
We'll" said Mrs. JobSon, II don't know
! anything about gas ranges. whereas know
! all about coal ranges, and"
There are a whole heap of things that
/ you don't know anything about that you re
| going to learn about one of these days
! said Mr. Jobson. land one of 'em IS gas
| ranges. I'm getting mighty tired of having
| this house smoked up from cellar to garnet
| four or five times a week by that contrap-
| ton of the middle ages that you burn coal
| in, and, whether you like the idea or not.
| Tn going right down town this morning
and buy the finest gas range that ] can get
| for money. If you object to using 1t. why.
| then I'll use it myself, that's all. If you're
| content to sit down and live like people lived
| in the days of Charlemagne why that's
| your business, but I'm going to have some
| comfort as long as I'm around here, and
| one of the things that I'm going to have to
| add to my comfort is a gas range. It'll be
| uD here along toward 10 o'clock this morn
| ing and I'll get my own breakfast on it to-
morrow morning..
Mrs Jobson executed a skirt dance with
| out music two minutes after Mr.. Jobson
had left the house, and now the Jobson
| breakfasts are prepared on gas range.
| -