davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-04-14
WHY SHE DIDN'T MARRY.
Some of the Reasons a Woman Gives
For Remaining Single.

Miss Catherine Goggin of New
York given the following reasons for
remaining single:
because he might not be an orphan.
Because he might like tides.
Because he might be fond OF using
pet names.
Because he might part bis hair in
the middle of his head.
Because he might demand an item
lied account of household expendi-
lures.
Because dinner would. have to be
taken with the same person every day.
Because marriage would Iecessitate
daily letter writing, when either he or
she might be away.
Because all the good men seem to
be married already.
Because he has not proposed.
1t is likely that the whole story is
told in the last reason given. This
incident reminds one OF the story Ct
the man who went into a saloon in a
western town and was at once asked
to join in a game of poker. Turning
to the crowd the stranger remarked
politely: Gentlemen, l haye just
~thirty-two reasons for not playing
poker" ''What are they was the
immediate response from several
persons. The first reason u.s." re-
marked the obiector, 81 have no
money; the next is ''Oh h-lr'
said one of the crowd, ''never mind
the other 81 reasons: the one you
have given US is enough"
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-04-14
Don't Worry About the Editor.

Gebang: A rumor is being whis-
perad about that Ben Adams will go
out OF the Democrat and that another
editor, eve a worse one than Adams,
will have the rudder. Is it possible?
Bro. Gebang, all things are pos
sible except that the DEMOCRAT will
be edited by a monkey And Who
ever edits this paper will be a person
who knows more about the require
ments OF the position than he does
about brushes and paint pots. And
another thing Bro. Gebang, the edi-
tor will not be a person who is revel-
ling in a large mental calm and is
afioa: without rudder or compass in
a wide shoreless sea of intellectual
stagnatiOn. Do you catch on
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-04-14
Glorious News

Comes from Dr.. D. 3. Cargile, of
Washita, L. T. He writes: -Four
bottles of Electric Bitters has cured
Mrs. Brewer of scrofula. which had
caused her great suffering for years.
Terrible sores would break Out on he
head and face, and the best do IS
could give no help; bu. her cur is
complete and her health is excellent. ~
This shows what thousands have prov
ed-that Electric Bitters is the best
blood purifier known. It's the sup
RENE remedy for eczema, letter, salt
rhcum, ulcers. boils and running
sores. 1t stimulates liver, kidneys
and and bowels, expeis poisons, helps
digestion builds up the strength.
Only 80 cents. Sold by l. Ben. Miller,
Druggist. Guaranteed. 4
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-04-14
stockholders Meeting.

The annual meeting of the Southern
Missouri & Arkansas Railroad Com
pany will be held at the Office of the
Company, northeast corner of INDIE
pendence and Spanish streets in the
city of Cape G%irardeau, Missouri, on
Tuesday, May sth, 1900, at 9 O'Clock
in the forenoon, for the purpose of
electing Directors for the ensuing
year and for the transaction of any
other business that may properly
come before said meeting.
E. +. BLoMEYER, NEWMAN ERB.
Secretary. President.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-04-14
The Appetite Of a Goa,

Is envied by all poor d~yspeptics
whose stomach and liver Ire out of
order. All such should know that DR.
Kings New Life Pills, the wonderful
stomach and liver remedy. gives a
splendid appetite, sound digestion
and a regular bodily habit that in
sures perfect health and great energy.
Only 25 cents at 1. Ben Miller's drug
store. 4
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-04-14
For Sale.

\ farm containing SO acres in high
stale of cultivation two miles west of
the city of Cape Girardeau or the
G0rdonville road. Good house and
outhuiidings, barn 12x2I feet, two
g"oa cisterns and a splendid orchard
OF fine fruits. For further particulars
call on Louis Oswald, Cape Girar-
dcau. Mo. iunl
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-04-14
FRIDAY.

What is it? \ cure for Coughs,
Colds, Group, Whooping Congn,
HoarseHess, Sore Throat, and al
Bronchial Affections of the Throat,
Chest and Lungs. so doses for 30
cents. Money refunded il it fails to
dissatisfaction: we mean DR.. Sim
mons'Cough Syrup. For sale by all
druggists.
Citizens generally will regret that
Judge Frank Burrough will not be a
candidate for reelection to the office
of Judge of the Common Pleas Court.
Having been selected as general at
torney of the S. NJ. & A. r. R., he
cannot give the time 20 the duties Of
the bench that they demand. Judge
Burrough will leave the bench with
the knowledge that he has done his
duty, and possessing in greater meas
ure than ever the esteem and good
will of his fellow citizens.
Elizabeth Thomas, colored, died at
her home in this city yesterday at the
age of g. years. The deceased had
been a citizen OF Cape Girardeau for
many years.
Gebang says that Frank Dunlop
was ''threshed" by two men. Wonder
what the yield was? Gebang should
give full particulars.
Ed Craig, son of Capt. ]. NJ. Craig,
has returned home. He has been at
tending the st. Louis College of
Pharmacy and has passed an exam
ination before the state board.
Postmaster Bierwirth is having
some painting and general cleaning
up done at the postoffice.
The Democrats of Jefferson county
will send delegates to the judicial con-
vention at Cape Girardeau, instruct
ed to vote for Judge Daniel Dillon
for Judge of the st. Louis Court of
Appeals.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-04-14

cotton. Each package colors all
fbers. Sold by ". 81. Coerver. 1t
THURSDAY.
The work on the new roof of the
S~tufaivant Bank building was finish
ed yesterday and the workmen re-
turned to st. Louis this morning.
There was q heavy frost last night
and it is believed that much damage
was done to the fruit.
a large delegation will go over to
Jackson from here Saturday to at
tend the convention.
Money to Loan on Improved Farms
as security-s250, $500, $3.50. $1,000.
$3.50 and $3.50. Also several we'll
improved Farms, Dwellings and
Building Lots For Sale Cheap.
II. S. DEANE,
102 Main ST.,
Cape Girardeau. Mo.
Summers & Tobler have had a new
floor put in their place on Main
street.
Mrs. John Taylor has gone to jack
son to spend a few days with her
daughter. Mrs. Clarnece Grant.
Arrangements are being made for
very elaborate Easter services at the
churches next Sunday. There will be
decorations, music of an unusually in
teresting nature. discourses etc If
the day is pleasant the churches will
be well filed.
A resolution was introduced the
other night in the city council of
Cairo. looking to the purchase by
the city of the waterworks plant. 1t
is not at all likely hat the plan will
meet with favor AT the hands of the
council. as a number of cities that
have tried this experiment have found
they have a large sized elephant on
their hands.
DR.. Simmons Sarsaparilla effect
ually aids weak, impaired and debili-
atted organs of both sexes. Its action
is quick and lasting. Fifty cents and
so doses.
Cairo will have a city election on
April Il, and judging from the tone
of some of the papers of that village,
it will be a warm one.
An invitation is extended to the
public to attend the revival services
now in progress at the Themis street
Methodist church.
One of the matters to come before
the county convention at Jackson
Saturday will be the selection of a
chairman of the Republican county
central committee. VIM. Regenhardt,
who has filled that position for so
many years has resigned, and it will
be difficult to secur as efficient q man
in his place.
Leon j. Albert and Z. z. Blomeyer
went to st. Louis yesterday.
On the last trip of the Grey Eagle
she loaded about LOCO ties and took
them to st. Louis, Those O re-
manning piled along the levee will
follow just as soon as the boat can
take them.
The officers at Jackson are still
busy investigating that attempt at
rape which occurred there about ten
days ago. The authorities have Of
fered Il reward for the guilty party
and it is thought he will be brought
to justice.
Certainly you don't want to suffer
with dyspepsia. constipation, sick
headache, sallow skin and loss of APP
petite. You have never tried De-
Wits Little Early Risers for these
complaints or you would have been
cured. They are small pills but great
regulators. VIM. Il. Coerver.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-04-14
The stave factory at Jackson was
destroyed by fire last Saturday.

The stave factory at Jackson was
destroyed by fire last Saturday.
When the price of ice goes up there
will be some kicking among the con-
sumers. There is no use kicking.
The cost Of producing ice has in
creased and as a consequence the
price of ice must 60 up.
Fred Regenhardt went down TO
Thebes today to do some stone work
on the foundation of a new building
being built for the Cape Brewery &
Ice Co.
KIDNEY DISEASES are the most
fatal OF all diseases. Foley's Kidney
Cure is a guaranteed remedy or mouey
refunded.
Robt. T~iermenstein Ia gone into
the poultry and produce business at
Jackson.
Tony kammer went out today with
his pay car to pay off the employees
along the line of the S. NJ. & A rail-
road.
Uriah Jones, Hezekian Brown and
John Peter Smith will testify to the
wonderful curative properties of DR..
Simmons Cough Syrup. Sample bot
ties free. Satisfaction or money re
funded. For sale by allduggists.
Ste. Genevieve News: Word comes
to this Office that the railroad con-
struction gang will soon resume work
on the Flat River extension up the
Saline. The work of grading was
begun some time past, but on account
of the many railroad builders bob
bling up on every side, who were deter
mined to build this same road, the
work was quickly dropped until the
storm had passed over, and now we
are glad to hear that they are to con-
tinue from where they left off.
Old fashions in dress may be re-
vived, but no old-fashioned medicine
can replace Chamberlain's Collie,
Cholera and Oiarrhoea Remedy. For
sale by l. Ben Miller.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-04-14
WEDNESDAY

sale by 1. Ben miller.
WEDNESDAY
Pilots Matson and Gibbons of the
Rees Lee, and Harry Crane of the
City of Sheffield, have sent reports
of the channel from ST. Louis to Cairo
to the Mississippi and Ohio Rivers
Pilots Society.
John A. Tatum, a we'll known
steamboat man died Sunday at his
residence in st. Louis.
The work on the new gravel roof of
the Sturdivant bank building will be
completed today.
Cheatham's Chill Tonic is peculiar
ly adapted to persons in enfeebled
health and invalids. 1t assists di-
gestion and is a perfect strengthened
appetizer. Satisfaction or money re-
funded. Put up in both tasteless and
bitter STYLES. 50-cent,size.
Bowersville Clarion: Next week
we will begin running this paper
as Captain Kidd would have run it.
Delinquent subscribers may expect a
cali from us with their accounts stuck
in the muzzle of a six-shooter. Other
wise this paper will be running as the
sheriff would run it.
Merchants who have straw hats on
exhibition in their show windows
would better hide them until winter is
over.
Are you lacking in strength and
energy. Are you nervous, Respondent,
irritable, bilious, co%nstipated and
generally run down in health. If so,
your liver is torpid, and, and a few
doses of Herbine will cure you
Herbine has no equal as q health re-
storer. L. Ben Miller.
DR.. Russell of Birds Point is in
the city today.
Z. II. Engelmann has been elected
president of the Merchants Town
Mutual Insurance Company.
Capt. Schuchert is having the
Opera House treated to "a coat of
paint and otherwise improved.
Richardson & Slavick have secured
the agency here for the Fairbanks
Morse gasoline engine.
Evil after effects never follow tn
use of DR.. Bells Peppermint Chill
Tonic. 1t is a pleasant liver laxative.
1t makes rich. red blood. 1t makes
stout, sound bone. 1t makes flesh. It
makes rosy cheaks. All OF this cures
chills so they stay cured. Dealers
guarantee il.
Jake Lind is still laid up at his
home in Cairo with a severe ease Of
infammatory rheumatism. He seems
to have grown worse since his return
home.
W. NJ. Kimmel left last evening for
Memphis where he has a position in
the service OF the government.
Natural Gas: An Arkansas editor
has this n OF putting himself
thoroughly before his readers: "AlI
persons knowing themselves indebted
to this office ale requested to call and
settle. All those indebted to this Of
fee and not knowing it are requested
to call and find out. All those know
ing themselves to be indebted and not
wishing to call are requested to stay
in one place long enough for US to
catch them. All OF those not indebted
are requested to call and become in
debted."
The "Bicyclist's Best Friend" is a
familiar name for DeWitt's Witch
Hazel Salve, always ready for emer-
gencies. While a specific for piles. it
also instantly relieves and cures cuts,
bruises, salt rheum, eczema and all
affections of the skin. 1t fails
VIM. II. Coerver.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1900-04-14

Don't forget if you use Putnam
Fadeless Dyes you don't have to send
for a package for wool and one for
cotton. Each package colors all
hbers. Sold by ". 81. Coerver. 1t
THURSDAY.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1900-12-05

only fr,m ambush has shattered both
the mental and physical systems of Off
GERS and men. Officers Of both the
army and navy, who went from here in
the full vigor of health not MANY
months ago, are broken down in BODY
.and are almcstimbeciles. Nothing has
been said about it, but some of thom
are now being brought home to their
sorrowing families. It is very pretty
to talk about o soldiers duty and n
s0idiors pride, and it is very pretty to
read the eloquent flights of the expan-
sion statesmen and orators who dis
course on the subjectat the long range
distance of eight to ten thousand miles.
Every z;oS%' aI;ai then also the country
is favored-with extracts from the lot
ters of some fire-eating soldier in the
Philippines who is as one in q thou
sand. AT the same time the President
and tho War and Navy Departments
are fully aware almost the entire body
of our forces in the Philippines would
be glad to come homo to day if they
had the sanction of superior authority
SO do 80. The strongest social and
personal influence is constantly exerted
to secure Q hcmeward order for officers
ID the philippines, and the President
himseif is frequently appealed to. Not
one or these appeals is needed, except
in the cases where the pitiable condi-
ton OF the officer renders him men.
tally incapable.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1900-12-05
South Carolina M. E. Conference.

The 10th annual session Of tho
South Carolina conference Of the Meth
odist Episcopal Church, South, was
held in Chester last week, Bishop Har-
grove presiding.
The conference adjourned last Mon
day, tho reading Of the appointments
by the presiding bishop being the last
act of the session.
The nsxt annual session will be held
in Columbia.
The following are tho appointments
for the Greenville District for 1901:
Presiding Elder. j. B. Wilson.
Anderson, st. Johns, j. b. Campbell.
West End, 0. NJ. Abney. Orrville and
Anderson mission, b. NJ. Robertson.
Easley and Bethesda, w. E. Wig
gins.
Foutain Inn, G. C. Leonard.
Greenville, Buncombe Street, G. II.
Harmon. Highland and City Mills, j.
w. Speake. st. Pauls, NJ. b. Kelly.
Greenville Circuit, T. White.
" Greers, J. C. Roper.
Mcclure, j. w. Bailey.
North Pickens Circuit, sapplied by
c. L. Mccain.
Pelzer, T. G.. Herbert.
Pendieton, Il. z. Stackhouse.
Pickens, r. r. Dagnall.
Piedmont, Peter Stokes.
Reidville, J. w. S,,ell.
Seneca and Wnlhalla, G. F. Clark
son.
Starr and Iva, l.. L. Inabinet.
Townville, supplied by S. M. Jones.
Travellers Rest, B. G.. Guess.
Walhalla and Newry, supplied by C.
w. Burgess.
Westminster, d. w. Keller.
West Pickens, j. p. Attaway.
Williamson and Belton, A. j. Cau-
thren, Jr.
Williamson Circuit, j. Nj. Rogers.
Assistant Sunday School Editor, T.,
F. Beatty.
WILLIAMSON Female College, s. Ian
der.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1900-12-05
Sincere Thanks. !

Coon HOPE, s. c., Dec. 4th, 1900.
Mr.. EDITOR: Permit me to acknowl-
edge with sincere thanks through the
columns of THE STELLIGENCER the
reception Of Il beautiful and tastefully
worked silk and worsted quilt, present.
ed by the ladies Of Good Hope Church
on the evening preceding Thanksgiy-
ing Day. Three of the elegantly
wrought squares were from friends of
tho "Gr0ve" A. r. p. Church, and the
quilt as whole was the suggestion of
q good mother in Israel, Mrs. Asenath
Sherard. of the Generosteo Church.
May the Chief Shepherd reward ench
contributor for her kindness, remem-
bering His own words: 'Inasmuch ns
these my brethren ye have done it unto
me-" Gratefully,
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1900-12-05
Interesting Fact.

1t is an interesting fact that among
GOO, ,000, 900 passengers carried, only 2O8
persons lost their lives on steamboat
vessels within the jurisdiction of the
United States during the last fiscal
year, Of whom A were passer gers and
162 members Of the crews. During the
same year there were 1893 boiler explo-
sions on land, which killed 29S persons
and wounded 456 others. This shows
that it is safer to go to sea than to stay
on shore, and demonstrates the vigil
lance of the steamboat inspection Scr
vice, which has 0,253 steamers and TO-
600 boilers under it's charge Gen. Dn-
mont, the inspector general, in his an
lua. report cOmmends the skill and
carefulness of tho masters, Iilots and
engineers in the American merchant
marine, which, he says, is not surpass-
ed and hardly equaled by that OF the
navlgators of any other nation in the
world.
Of the SOC, 200, 900 passengers carried
upon the railways of the country 221
were killed nild S,345 injured. Of the
employees 2,237 were killed and 38,749
were injured, and of others-tramps,
in trains. $50 were killed and 6, 18S
were injured, making a total Of 7,188
persons killed and 1880 injured.
The danger of railway labor is great
or than that of the military service,
and more railway employee were killed
and injured In proportion to their num-
bers last year than soldiers in the Phil
1ppines. In coupling and uncoupling
CARS alone $40 men were killed and O.
9S8 were injured. One out of every All
railroad employees in this country was
killed during the year and one out of
every % was injured.-IYm E. Curtis
In Chicd0O RecOy1
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1900-12-05
FROM THE NATIONS CAPITAL.
From OH O'0s Correspondent.
WAsHIN&FoN, D. G., Dec. s, 1900.

l. q \
WAsHINGfoN, D. G.. Dec. 8, 1900.
Congress isiin full blast. The grea,
committees OH Ways and Means, Rivers
and Harboisas Merchant Marine, Reap.
portionment and Agriculture have each
most important measures on which
they desire action at this eeaaion, md
each is now crowding for consideration
for its bill. And the Nicarauguan
Canal bill and correlated Hay Paunce.
fote abomination, and treaties with
Nicacaa.; s sa and s,es.: 22;ca:, vii, have to
be considered, to say nothing Of fifteen
great appropriation bills, it will be
seen that the session will be busy
one. SO busy will it be that renppor-
tionment and ship subsidy are both
likely to be allowed to go over. to the
next session. Certainly, If the Demo-
Gratis care to make q fight against
them, as they certainly will against the
latter and probably will against the
former unless it is drawn to suit them,
their passage can easily be prevented.
The same is. true of the Hay -Paunce-
fote treaty, bnt the Democrats will be
chary of lighting that, although they
will vote against il, because If they do
so they will probably be held responsi-
bic for the delay in constructing the
Nicarauguan Canal.
On army legislation, there will proba-
bly, be little OF no opposition, unless
the Republicans attempt to force
through some measure fastening O
standing army on the country. The
Democrats, tits understood, will stand
ready to give the President whatever
army he wants, If no viii consent TO
have it go out Of existence when the
Philippine situation will permit. If
the Republicans insist on the Root bill,
however, a fight is certain. Secretary
Root has sent a letter to the Military
Affairs Committee asking Congress to
authorize a regular army whose mini
mum force shall be about 59, 900 and
whose maximum shall be o little over
$4,000. The actual number ct any time
between these limits is to be fixed by
the President, who will increase it or
reduce it by enlisting or discharging
privates, the regimental formations re-
naming unchanged. Five regiments
OF cavalry, i've of infantry, five of
artillery and two battalions of en-
ginecrs are asked in addition to the
present standing army of 20, 900 men,
the minimum force of each being as
now provided by law. The Secretary
says that experience with volunteers
has shown that by placing experienced
officers ut their head they become re-
markably efficient in a very sk.csSS ttiisne,
but that the experiment has been q
most expensive oEs for the country.
eciHP i1I 70 WHAT would nave been the
case had the same number of troops
l
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1900-12-05
BY CLINKsGALEs & LANGsTON. i

Deen raised for three years service as
regulars. This excess OF cost arises
from the necessity for sending these
regiments many thousand miles away
from home for q short time OF service,
during which the allowance are much
greater than would be the case if their
service extended over three years.
The Democrats will certainly oppose
this bill unless the right OF the Presi-
dent to increase the army to tho MAXI
mum is made cena:.iesisa!! Oh tho tho exist
ence of war, in the Philippines or
elsewhere, and is not left to his mere
whim.
The Republicans will again make q
e!;;t. ;a.tt passing tho reciprocity treaties
negotiated last winter butt allowed to
go over until after the election, owing
to the protests Of people whom the
party managers did not dare to ignore
at. that time. The chances are, how
ever, that nothing will be accomplish
ed. In fact, we might as we'll strike
reciprocity out of onr national policy,
although it has been prominent in Re-
publican platforms for many years.
Tho history OF legislation on this subs
ject demonstrates that while we, asa
nation are in favor of the principle, we
are opposed to the practice. One Of
the first reciprocity treaties ever made
in the United States was negotiated by
General Grant with the republic of
Mexico, nearly twenty years ago. and
If it had been allowed to go into effect
we would now have q monopoly Of the
trade of our nearest neighbor, which
amounts to something like $3.50, ,O0O, ,O0O
year; but through the influence of
the cattle growers. fruit dealers and
iead-ore producers of the northwest,
Congress refused to enact the legisla-
lion necessary and it was allowed to
die. During the same administration
of President Arthur, commission sent
to South America initiated reciprocity
treaties with all OF. the republics except
Chile, Bolivia and Paraguay. The
commission had just reached Brazil
when President Cleveland came into
office and called it homo. When M..
Blaine came into power, the movement
was revived and fourteen reciprocity
treaties were made, but as soon as the
Democrats again came into power they
were revoked, The Democrats frankly
say that they do not believe in recipro-
city, and the Republicans claim to do 30
in the abstract but find some fatal OBJ
lection to each particular case as it
comes up.
Despite the efforts of the War De-
partment to conceal tho truth by oft
repeated deDials. reports whose authen-
ticity is not open to question show con-
clusively that mental and physical
disorders amongst our soldiers in the
Philippines are increasing most alarm
ingly. The terrible climate of the
Philippines. the despondency produced
by homesickness and the continued ex-
perience of dealing with foe fighting