Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1900-08-10
STORIES OF THE TOWN.

A good one is told on one of the mem
bers of the city council, who has also
been a member of the school board. The
story proves that 1t Is difficult to die
tate TO a stenographel' over a telephone,
With all it's projections. The alderman
wished Il new bicycle ordinance drawn
up, and prior to a recent meeting called i
up Mr. Morse at the city building and
gave him an outline of the various sec
tions. The first section he wanted to
specifically state that the riding of BIZ
cycles on the sidewalks of the city is
strictly prohibited Then he proceeded
Ito kill the first section by saying in the
second:
Any person who does ride on the
sidewalks of the city shall dismount
when passing or approaching pedes-
trian or pedestrians.
The proposed ordinance has not been
presented as yet, az 1t has been sent
back to the councilman for repairs.
This story reminded one Of the city
totficiala of the Irish alderman who was
progressive and who was going to build
himself a monument in the shape OF
new city building. The resolution he
tlIIlIDuucSu was SUItletillIlS llh6 llIis
I :. Resolved, That tteMcity council pro-
lceed to erect new city building on the
t.siteEof the old structure, and that the
present building be torn down and the
material used in the construction Of the
new building so far az possible.
THAT the present building be occu-
lpied and used by the city officers until
7 such time az the new building is COM
4 pleted.''
And it was long time before the
Irish alderman could be made to UNDER
istand what his colleagues were laugh
NJ ing at. In Justice to Councilman Nc
TGsuir.. 1t should be stated that this was
one resolution he did not introduce.
i a s. Near-oldA Marshailtown boy who
Ireecntly visited the sra coast has theo-s
j, iies of HIS own. as have most children
Snf that age While at the seas'lore he
saw many varieties of sea monsters
& and it vas explained toshim that these
could live only in salt water. While al
4 the river With his father the other day
he submitted the following propositions:
Say papa. lets buy some barrels Of
salt and pour them in the river 30 the
whales will come. AS the shortest
i way to a satisfactory explanation Of the
/ lmpracticability of such a scheme the
father remarked that the Iowa river
water was so foul below the city that
Whales could not long survive in 1t.
A Marshalltown populist who had
/ never before been outside the state
ii Went TO Minneapolis TO spend his yaca-
gtlan. After finding cheap boarding
& house and satisfying the demands Of his
lsuppaute he strolled out on the streets,
4 gazed about him timidly. finally ap-
preached Il policeman Of the same spe-
sHcies his Weekly Palladium had taught
him 10 despiae as an enemy of the COM
Siinon people, and n1eekly asked:
Il Say. do you have any objections to
my taking in the sights of the city
1t The minion of the law sized the Mar
E.shalltoWn man up, concluded he vas
3 neither crazy nora dangerous anarchist
rand consented to the visitor seeing what
Ehe6could.
& He had just emerged from saloon,
6 this old veteran, and had started off
Il with SATISFIED air, when another vet.
who sal on a step near by, called out:
I..Whsre are you going. Blankson?,'
{s..Nhy. I'm going home Aren't you
READY TO go.a No. amt drunk
Il enougn yet
1t is told on a druggist not a thou
sand miles from Marshalltown that a
Il young lady called at his place of bus-
ness and wanted nickelss worth OF
a salts The young man wanted to know
q the kind desired when the y. |. blushed
Il and said she didn't know, but thought
,Eit was "somersaults.' The druggist had
q none in stock
NO HOPE OF RECOVERY
The Doctor said, but Ghamberlain's