The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1900-09-01

Farmer Skinfint-No, street I'm
goin' tew Civ up the paper.-Brooklyn
Life.
You're very unobservant," comment
ed his sister. She's beer laughing in
her sleeve all the time you've been talk
ing to her."
Swhat.' he cried. "In that bali cos
tune? Chicago Post
when you asked me to marry you"
h said regretfully, you made an
oversight"
sIn what way?" he demanded.
We'll, you told me how much you
loved me, but you neglected to say how
much you loved your club I didn't
realize that I was to have a. rival"
Now, is there anything meaner h
q sarcastic woman?" he asked himself
as he started for his car.-Chicago
Post.
American Manufacturer-Here's an
order from China for 100000 cart
ridges.
PartnerlGoodl That means Uncle
Sam will want 10, 100000 cartridges to
fight these with some of these days.
Chicago Tribune.
.'That man who just left US" said the
British visitor, tells me he's very ac-
tive in politics"
'Humphi' exclaimed the American,
hes merely a ward-heeler."
But is not a ward-heeler a type of
Politician"
You might call him a type. He's a
Observation-Disclosures Press
"Bidlinger says he'd learn how to
swim if he could only overcome his
ugnanc to the water"
I'D advise him to m over
coming it by a frequent resort to the
MISUNDERSTANDING Plain Dealer.
Deacon Goode-They say your son
has been very successful in the minis
try.
Deacon Goode-He has brought about
a great many conversions.
The Practical Mani don't know any
thing about hat. He has accepted three
calls within IS months, and got a big
raise each time.-BoSton Transcript.
tits funny how marriage changes a
man." said Spriggs' caller.
Yes" replied Spriggs dreamily. cit
used to be that 1 was devoted to base
ball and football and basketball, and
now l give all my time to baby's
bawl," and he arose hurriedly and went
into the adjoining room.-Detroit Free
Press.
Mrs. Icekold-Do you drink rum?
William Walker-Ah, w'ot a relief it is
to listen to a sensible question like dati
All de society ladies I meet has such a
monotonous way o. sayin', DO you play
golf?" Have you met de prince ?" Are
o off fer de Paris expersition?" Do I
drink rum? Sure, lady. Have you a bot
tie on your hip?-Judge.
Copyreader-Here's a four column
story on germs in drinking water. What
shall I do with it?
Editor-Kill the germs.
Copyreader-Kin the germs?
Editor-Yes; boil it down.-Syracuse
Herald.
At the Seashore-"Dear me! There are
those n1oa Ga nf 0nOnIn No mot on tho
train; we don't want to be bothered with
them, do we?' No; and we can safely
go on the plan that they don't want to
be bothered with Us. Indianapolis
Journal.
Matter of M~obility.-The Lay Figure
had spoken of his automobile. IT expect
ed to enjoy it much" the Lay Figure
was now saying, but the tickle weather
has prevented" I'm other words" OBJ
served the Unconscious Imbecile at once,
"a mobile autumn is not suited to an au-
tomobile!"-Detroit Journal.
my record speaks for me-"
No, gentle reader, it was not a public
dare to a lot of accusers-
1t was a Observation-Disclosures
American.
Il uppose he considers himself the
star of the organization"
"Start" echoed the manager, YEARLY.
@ANS OS6 L ~ C4p1G L E11G
thinks he's the sun."-Washington Star.
MI. Gooph-Have you 1.-The Travels of
Baron Munchausen?"
Bookseller-No- But we have 1.-THE
Messages of Ii Hung Chang."-Balti-
more American.
You'd naturally think, wouldn't you,
that SO much singing would tire my
daughters voice?"
"Oh. I don't know. It seems to me
that a little sin DINO -n111 - e-4c-
change."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Did you and your wife have a good
Fine! Lost our trunks and didn't
have to bother being dressed up
Chicago Record.
Mrs. Wilderkin-I do believe nv hus-
band would run a block to look at a
pretty woman.
Mrs SweetIeigh-You shouldn't blame
him for that. It's only natural for peo-
pie to wonder at things they are not
used to seeing-Chicago Times-Herald.
.Householder-Do you know, I sometimes
think that gas meter cheats me?
Gasman-Well what of it? Wouldn't
do t?-Boston Transcript.
vii you meet me here at 4 o'clock?'
asked the office cat.
q. ..H don't Thin think Gan" replied the clock.
Philadelphia Press.
Don't you dare kiss me-" she said
warningly.
why, wasn't thinking of such a
thing" he said.
Wen. I was" she replied hrmly.-An-
swers.
you contend that oIeomargarine is just
as good as butter, don't your
It's better" answered the dealer with
proft."-Washington Star.
Is my investment a paying one?
That's what it is, dOg-eone i'll
1t seems as thoagh I'm Ter done
With paying assessments pm it.
Philadelphia Press