The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1900-12-28
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
A College Joke.


My roommate Jim) and myself had
worked on some geology charts until
pretty late, and when we finally closed
the books Jim had promptly suggested
that we go down to the court for a short
game before retiring. l acQuiesced, and
we went down. A half hour of vigorous
exercises, and we were ready for the re-
freshing shower. This taken and follow
ed by good rub down, we assembled to
the main floor of the building. Natural
ly, both of US were in the best of spirits.
A full length mirror on the wall near
the doorway allowed us to see the main
entrance to the dormitory before any ono
who might be coming in could catch a
glimpse of US. No sooner had we closed
the door leading down to the basement
than the front door banged loudly. OF
course, we both looked toward the mir
ror, in which we saw the reflection of our
chum Elbert, immaculate, as usual, in
his dress suit and tile hat.
Lets put up a game on Ebert" sug-
gested Jim.
IAN right: what shall we do?" 1 re-
piled. HE is out in that rig altogether
too often" by way of apology for any
thing my mischievous pal might propose.
II have itp' exclaimed Jim. "Well
pretend he's full and that we happened
along just in time to carry him up stairs.
Come on. It'll be bully good stunt"
Ebert, by the way, although by no
means a total abstainer, prided himself
on his moderation and on the fact that
he had never been known to indulge too
heavily. On this particular night he had
been to some church affair early In the
evening and had dropped into the club
on his way home to play a few games of
billiards.
Qulckening our steps, we met our chum
just as he was beginning the ascent Of
the first flight. Hello, Ebert; out late
again?" "This will never do, old man.
"Have to tell Maud If you don't keep bet
ter hours, you old scampp what! Been
in the bargain! Oh, Gilbert, you're going
thuselah, but he's FULL" This last ex-
clamation from Jim, who promptly grab
bed the bewildered Elbert by the coat
sleeve and motioned me to do the same.
"What in Jericho Is the matter with
you fellowsP snapped Ebert. Come
up to bed without waking the proctor.
It's late, and I've got 8 o'clock rccita-
ton in the morning. For heavens sake,
don't make so much noisew This last
remark addressed to Jim, who was sing
ing and hiccoughing at the top of his
lungs.
Lean on me-" said the irrepressible
James "We'll get up all right with you,
old man, and we won't give it away.
Cad, but it's n peach you've got! Where
did you find it? Careful, now, careful;
we're going by Professor Towards
door,"
Suddenly the door of Professor How
ards room flew open, and the venerable
dispenser of Latin poetry gazed out ut
the trio on the landing. For moment q
look Of surprise fitted over his handsome
face. He knew of Elbert's much vaunt-
ed propricty. This look was succeeded
by broad grin. Get him up as quietly
as you can. boys, and give him plenty of
bromo settler. Man is but mortal. Good
night"
During the moment that the professors
door had been ajar we had pushed Gilbert
violently from one side of the landing to
the other and had drowned all his at
tempts to explain. He now became fu-
rious, aud his loud expostulations only
added 70 the din and brought more people
to the doors.
"NVhat'll you take for itF' Drunk
and dressed up" "Take him down and
drown him." These and a hundred more
like remarks were showered upon the
poor unfortunate as we lugged him along.
The uncertain light and the persistence
with which Jim crowded Elbert's hat
down over his eyes from time to time left
no chance for q doubt as to his condition.
Staid old graduates appeared at their
doorways in pyjafnas and bathrobcs and
stood there snickering as we bundled the
supposed jag through the halls.
These same fellows would have slam
med the door in disgust IL any Of the rest
of the top floor gang had awakened them
by coming homo half seas over. They
looked upon Gilbert. however, as almost
too good for his associates, and his fright
full fall from grace made him an object Of
derision. At last the top floor was reach
ed, and we let him so.
"Wel, you buffers, you've ruined my
reputation all right" said our suddenly
revived friend. "but I must confess it
was a good joke. was pretty mad
about the third floor, but I've cooled
down now. Come in and have a drink.
l shnn't try to square myself with How
ard and those stiffs down stairs, but do
call in our own gang and put them on.
It's too good to lose.''
ne gang WIS cllieu IN anu enlOyeC tue
joke hugely. Ebert was voted the best
fellow on earth, if he did come home
from church festivals jagged. and We all
settled down to game of cards. Things
were too much stirred up to think of
sleep that night.
The effects of that joke wcrc fcarfully
farreachinG. and | woldcr that Gilbert
did not cut our acquaintance. Maud
heard of 1t and would not he paci!ied I'M
til the whole floor went around and
swore that Ebert never touched drop
except fer mr,liciae. For the whole of
the rest of that year our poor chum was
always getting unpleasant reminders Of
the jag he didn't have. Not till Elbert
left college could the scdate crowd on
the lower floors BE- persuaded TO believe
that he wasn't rs bad as the worst of
the top Fighters. However. the fact re-
mains that | was never party to a prac-
teal joke that worked with better sue
cess.-Brooklyn Eagle.