The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1900-04-08

collie with his hair all matted and his
muddy feet leaving nastyiooking tracks on
the library rugs I spoke to them rather
sharply, and ordered Jawkins to kick the
dog out
But he's lost papa" said my eldest
Well. let him stay lost" responded.
rather gruhly
Il 'speck somebody uawfuh sorry 70
lose him." said Jack. my FIVE year-old.
was busy with my essay on The Milk
OF Human Kindness" so when Jawkins
tJawkins IS our general fact0tum-my
wife calls him the butier) dragged ,he
dog out of my sight l forgot him. Il seems
the children considered the dog as treas.
ure trove. and they took him out and lock-
ed him in the stable feeding him expensive
steaks. which they found in the larder. lie
disturbed my rest that night with his
I mournful bowling. and early in the morn
( ing went down, opened the stable door
and turned him loose.
Unfortunately, the treatment accorded
that dog by my children had been so gen
erous that the dog had sense enough not to
stay lost. For days ne continued to hang
around my place. making life miserable To-
me. and my wife watched my cheeks grow
sallow and my appetite diminishing with
unconcealed alarm.
1t was rather a relief. therefore. when
on the fourth day she brought me a copy
Of the News" and pointed trumphantly to
the following advertisement:
FOUND-A Scotch collie dog: evidently Of fnc
breeding. The dog has been at our house
for four days. Owner regain possession ct
the animal by applying in person. and proving
property. No questions asked Apply after
a. m. at 6932 \. Delaware ST.
Thanks. my dear I said gratefully;
do you think that will get rid Of him."
mot a doubt of it" said my wife.
Next morning. having finished good
breakfast and being just settled down 10
reading chapter twelve in Tupper's Moral
Philosophy there was a ring at the front
daorbell. and Jawkins said:
"A gent to see you. sir
SHOW him up" / replied, laying my
book down with a sign.
The individual who presented himself
and calmly took seat in my new Morris I
chair. smirked and said:
Il am the Rev. Theophilus Jubes of the I
Third Theosophieal Church. called in re-
gard to the following"
From his greasy garments he drew a /
dirty copy OF the News and pointed with /
a chubby forednger to the advertisement !
inserted by my wife
"Ah. - said |. Yes you want your dog. I
He is now tied up in the stable. JaWkins.
show this gentleman his dog
Yes, sir said Jawkins, leading the
Theosophist out
In a moment he returned BEG pardon.
sir. but there's three gents and a lady
waiting to see you, sir"
Indeed. said L; show them up-oue at
a time, Jawkins."
The first visitor clad in blue overalls
and carrying an odOr of stale fish about
his person, came hesitatingly in. looked
with a senile smile at the books on the
shelves blushed a little as his eyes
lighted on full-length statuette OF Psyche.
and said:
Il called about that dawg."
? ooh, yes l replied. Very sorry. but
the dog turns out to be the property Of a
minister. He is out in my stable getting
him now"
well, but-that's-my-daw reck-
IN. slowly drawied my acquaintance. 4
ed-that-ad-last- I-live-out-
At Broad-Ribple. I-lost-him-last-w
Tain t-no--minister dawg."
What color was your dog?" I asked
lm.
-grey-I-reckon," was the re-
ply
We'll. I'm sorry. but this can't be your
log. for he's black and tan
Wall" he replied. "I-guess-then-
faint mine Good -day-sir"
Good day" l reioined shortly.
But still he fingered,
Pardon me, l said, There are others
Waiting to see me"
"Yes-I-know Only 0nly-yOu-
tcOst-me-10- nts-to-come-in-
lere - from - Broad - Ripple II I
'Jawknsi" 1 shouted, show the next
nan in"
The next man was a COlOred man. who
vas evidently employed in the whitewash-
ng business. He was white everywhere !
kept on his skin, and he powdered lime
II over my apartment.
'Jes' called t see bout that dOrg. mis-
err" he explained with a grin.
Dogs gone" l grunted
mo, stree; no he amt. l seed that air I
a-wresting with the dOrg I
nd | done tOle i'm he'd better drap him. G
ase he's mine. n the dorg's out there
waiting fer me now"
We'll, hang it all go out and get him, Z
hen. 1 don't care who gets him, so long I
5 some Of you take him away" d
"All right. sir; that dorg cert My am
line. n Ise gwine to have i'm. p
Then a young lady with an abbreviated ?
hirt end an affected manner sidled into {
~ room. S
Thank you so much, she giggled. "for h
dyertising my FidO You know [ lost a
i'm while | was shopping in the Balti- n
lCre store last Friday. Dear little fell a
Nv. | do hope you've fed him. ! know
2 won't eat meat. We always give m a
OF bread and milk I'd like to pay you a.
n your trouble. and how much did the 81
advertisement cost. l suppose I'll have a
pay that" az
Miss" / said. there's some mistake. ia
le dog I've advertised is not named g
lido. | don't know what his name is. ] 10
1t it's not Fido. As for feeding him 81
cad and milk. this dog has eaten 81 re
orth of porterhouse steak" II
We'll I do think the police ought to get b.
ter these people who put misleading ad-
,rtisements in the papers. ! suppose IS
ey're too busy arresting gamblers TO in
~ any attention TO these confidence men; M
my brother were here he'd show you Dc
w To- ~
"Jawkins," shouted. show the lady eli
IT, Is
Beg pardon sir. said Jawkins. with a OF
spicion Of a smile There's seven boys T..
varying ages. about thirty-six men, OIL
ne women, and a policeman waiting in =.
e front yard to see you. sir. ] believe 81
s in regard to an advertisement"
90. Lord I CALCULATED show up the
ost respectable Jawkins" -,
1t was a middle aged woman OF hard
sage that came in, and took the most
chair in the place
Would you mind throwing that nasty
gar down" she said. looking at me from Of
ar her spectacles. Il cant abide smoke ma
Certainly. madam l said. throwing ma
fr.