The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1900-11-18
.MODERN FABLES" by George AIDE.
TIE Modern Fable Of the .Skfff;e6}
Widosver Who Cried TO Ser Himself BookS
Some Thirty Years - II - ). ). A e
"MODERN FABLES, /" by George AIDE.
Copyright, 1900. by Robert Howard RUSSELL

once upon Time there was Self-Mace
Citizen who manufactured Patent Churn.
He had been married for thirty-four Years
and had three Children, who were Grown
Up and Married. He had Grubbed along
all his Life. In his Youth he never had
gone High Rolling because he had been
learning a Trade. His Compensation con-
sisted of Board and Clothes and Yarn
Comforter every Christmas. After he got
Married it was Case OF planting all the
Small Change so as TO be there with the
Rent Money on the First
In Time the Churnmaker got the Grape
vine Twist on Adversely and Won Out. He
had all kinds of Collateral and they began
to be Pleasant to him at the Bank He
could have written his Check for Six Fig
ures, but he never did.
He continued to live in the same Modest
Style and his Habits seemed TO be Fixed.
He never ordered any Hothouse Grapes for
fear they would spoil his Appetite for
Prunes He used Bone Collar Button and
Ready made Bow Tie that fastened on
with an Elastic.
One Day was the same as another TO him.
He would arise at half-past and go out
mometer Then he would have his Fried
Steak and two Cups of Mothers Coffee, and
start for the Factory to go through the
Mail and try to put Compress on the Pay
Roll. The Women along that Street could
set their Clocks by him. for he always
came home to Dinner just at ten minutes
past IL. After he had disposed of the Roast
Beef and Trimmings and had his Wedge of
Pie he would feed the Horse again and try
to estimate how much longer the Coal was
going to last. Then back TO the Place
where the Churns were made. At half-past
he would return for Supper. When they
had Company they called ii Tea. In the
Evening, if there was no Grand Army
Campfire or Prayer Meeting, he would
hold down n Rocking Chair in the Sitting
Room. He seldom wore Coat around
the House. He had a Pair of Velvet Slip
pers, worked for him by his Daughter-in-
law, and when he put them on in the
Evening he groaned with Satisfaction. He
would sit and read Churn Literature until
half-past 9, and then ne would turn out
the Cat, wind the Clock. fix the Damper on
the Furnace and connect with the Feath-
ers. At half-past 6 next Morning he was
up TO repeat the Routine.
After thirty-four Years of this he found
himself Widower. For a Time he moped
and dropped around by himself, and the
Blacklist Clothes he could get were rot half
Black enough. Although he still lived at
the House, he took his Meals cut at a
Boarding House conducted by Lady who
had driven her own Carriage at one time,
and said SO at every Meal
III M
taste right. 1t was still and lonesome In
the Sitting Room, and he felt lost under the
altered Conditions. One Evening II was so
Creepy around the House when he tried to
read that he went out for Walk AS he
strolled it occurred to him that it had been
Many Moons since he had taken the Night
Air with any Regularity. 1t seemed rather
strange TO realize that if he wanted TO he
could stay out as late as the Owl Cars and
come Home with the People who Work
lille you' Sleep. For the First Time since
his Bereavement he felt the Gloom lifting.
He had to acknowledge that the sense of
Liberty gave him a new kind of a Thrill.
His Better Judgment told him that mas
much as he was his own Boss and had No
body to keep Cases on him he might as
well Perk up and not overdo the Pining
Away. So he kept on Walking until he
came to the Temperance Billiard Hall,
where he rang in some Students from
the Shorthand College and learned to play
Bottle Pool. Once in a while he would
give Quick Start and have an Impulse to
get Move on himself, for the knowledge
that he was as Free as the Air had not
thoroughly soaked in on him yet.
In few Evenings he overcame this
Jumpy Feeling and stopped looking at
Clocks. He learned to make Follow Shots
and play for Position and leave a hard
Set-up for the next Player. When he had
Chalk all over his Clothes and was bang
ing out Three Cushion Shots to keep from