davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"How long ago is it since the peace
conference was held?" "Oh, three or
four wars ago."-Town Topics.
Caroline-"Charlie's awfully nice,
anyway, and he's well to do" Marc
line-"Does he own soda Fountain"
-winona Lake Qnd) Assembly Re-
view.
81 hear she's writing story about
the Georgia Crackers "Yes; but
she's getting so awfully English late
ly she insists upon calling them bis
cults "-Philadelphia Record.
TheGolden Rule.--He-"Wny is 1t that
a girl wants to kiss every baby she
sees?" She-"To show that she is
willing to do unto others as she would
have others do unto her, suppose
N. o. Times-Democrat.
Foyer3"You seemed to enjoy the
vaudeville show hugely last evening"
Lobby-"It was terrible" Foyer
"But you laughed as though you'd
| die" Lobby-"Yes; / couldn't help
thinking how funny it was that
should sit there and be tortured.
Boston Transcript.
A Measure of Success. = Friend
"Oh, by the way, have been curious
to know whether you were successful
with that strange patient you were
treating last winter. Doctor-1 was
partially. He has paid almost hal
of his bill."LCatholic Standard ant
Times.
Noah Tall - whats the matter
You look mad" f. 2. Mark-'I an
mad. bought a pet monkey for m.
boy yesterday, and the beast died thi
morning. The dealer simply swindlet
me-" Noah Tall-"Ha! you shoul'
have consulted somebody before buy
ing it, Next time you want monke.
send for me"-Philadelphia Press.
: Bulls" are not confined to Ireland
At a meeting of Stirling parish coun
Gil the other night the following ex
tract was read from the minutes: Il
was reported that the nutritious die
allowed was not benefiting the pa
tient, so it was not given to him.
The minute was passed in solemn s.
lence.-Glasgow Herald.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27
DOG BARRIERS AT WORK.
Are Kept Busy During the Season
When TOwser Ii ShOrn
of HIS Hair.

This in the season of the year when
the dog gets his annual hair cut.
Some dogs-a great many, in fact
go without hair cut altogether, but
there are hygienic reasons why 9TH
ers are subjected to the capillary clip
ping. In the summer some dogs go
to the seashore, where they take up
a burden Of sand fieas. Then they
scratch, and in scratching make flesh
wounds. Then the dog il taken to a
veterinary, who takes of the hair. SO
that he may better treat the torn
cuticle. Other dogs, with long, thick
hair, have their hair cut in the sum-
mer for comfort, says the New York
Times.
There is about the same amount OF
pain to the dog in having his hair cut
as there is to the human being under
going similar treatment, but the dog
makes lots more fuss about it. In a
veterinary establishment uptown the
other day a French poodle was under
going his yearly tonsorial operation,
and he carried on over it as much az
if he were having tooth pulled. He
protested with. plaintive bowls against
the removal of his coat.
"Ow, ow, owl" he seemed to ex-
Gain; sit isn't that this thing hurts,
but it's the indignity of being held
down and sheared like sheep that I
object to-"
The hair came off in large, thick sec-
tions, and apparently there was
enough of it to start a mattress fac
tory when the job was finished. 1t
took the poodle several minutes to re-
alize that it was the same dog after
| the operation was over. The absences
| of weigh. puzzled him, and he wasn't
sure whether he was a dog or half q
| dog. Also there was an unaccounta-
BILE GOODNESS about the sheared part
of his anatomy. But after two OF
three shifts of investigation he shook
himself, whisked his tail and skipped
about as If satisfied that it was all
right.
1--WE average about two dog hair.
cuts day this time of year." said the
veterinary in whose place the dog re
ferred to parted from his shaggy
locks. "What do we do with the hair
Well, that's funny part of it. There
is a demand for the hair. People
come here to get it, saying it's good
for rheumatism. don't know how
they use it, but / believe they make
some sort of covering out of it. Any
way, we find no trouble in disposinl
of the hair"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27

There will be pig crop of wild honey
in Texas this year. The heavy rains of
the spring months carpeted the broad
prairies of that state with wild flowers.
and the bees have been gathering their
sweet harvest all summer, going home
from every journey to the fields with
their honey bags crammed full. The
'sbee hunters" are now searching for
the hives. There are few trees in the
country so the bees make use of small
caves formed by shelving rocks along
the water courses. One of these caves
that has been undisturbed for years
may hold several barrels of honey. The
"bee hunter" follows bee (which, ~ il
well known, takes 'bee ine') ~ far
as he can see him, then stops until the
pext one comes along laden. In this way
he finds the hive. Each man has his
own way of getting the honey. The
most successful of the bee hunters are
those that the bees will NOT sting. just
why bees will not sting some people the
bees only know.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27
A vAGRANT FROM BOSTON.
He AstoAished n Bailin by His High
Flown Language In
Court.

BailiH Kendig is recognized Is something
of a wit. The first prisoner to be subjected
to the laconic thrusts of the bailiff in the
police court the other day was William
Ross, says the Washington Times. The
charge against him was vagrancy, and a.
he was arraigned Kendg said, soto voce:
"A rolling stone gathers no moss. de
then added, that is true saying. Much
to the surprise and ehagrin of kendig, Ross
replied without the faintest semblance of a
smile:
"Why do you not quote that aphorism cor
rectly? As we say it in Boston it is: Any
petri6ed formation endowed with a rotary
molten shows no affinity for the collection
of lchenous particles.
"That Wilt do from you" said Kendig,
"you are charged as vag. Are you guilty or
not guilty.
Ross answered not guilty, but the evil
dence was against him. Policeman Gordon
declared that he found Ross begging at the
Baltimore & Ohio railroad station. Ross
claimed that the only begging he did was
to beg the policeman to release him. Judge
Mills sent Ross to the workhouse for go days
in default of bonds in the sum of $40.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27
At HiIIsboroush Fair
Deinu an Extract from ''Ebea Holden:
Tslo Of the North CountYp."
: Bp IRVING BACHELLER.
&<$<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

..rben Holden; Tale Of the North Coun-
try" by Irving neutrality-suspicious. by
Lothrop company, Boston--is tale TO De
sure, but SO faithfully does 1t depict the
scenes of Che day and locality from which
II n taken as to read more like history.
The common places OF existence IN nortn-
ern New York In the forties and mites are
90 woven into charming story as 70 make
the tale appear more as reality tnan as
a well-written bit of fiction. 1t Is book
Of many Sides The curious tales OF Uncle
Eb. with which he was want to amuse MS
little orphaned nephew, Is side that APP
peals to the children. The descriptions OF
the methods of living. Of the incidents
which brought to the hardy sons OF harder
pioneers their joys and sorrows Is OF IN
terest to every student of America
growth, while Uncle Eb. with his quaint
sayings and his good American sense Is as
clever q characterization as 1t would be
possible to find.
The following extract from the book de-
picts the scenes at the county fairs OF that
time and locality. and at the same time
gives the reader glimpse OF Uncle ED:
I ATE in August Uncle Eb and l
II took our Black Hawk stallion to
the fair in Hillsborough and showed
him for a prize. He was fit for the
eye of king when we had finished
grooming him, that morning, and led
him out, rearing in play, his eyes
flashing from under his broad plume,
20 that all might have last look
1t him. His arched neck and slim
barrel glowed like satin as the sum
light fell upon him. His black name
few, he shook the ground with his
hoofs playing at the halter's end. He
hated harness, and once in it lost
half his conceit. But he was vainest
of all things in PARKWAY when we
drove of with him that morning.
All roads led to Hillsborough fair
time. Up and down the long hills we
went ON q stih jog. passing lumber
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

A well-known economist has figured
out that out of SO chief national in
dustries In q given year only 20 gave
men work 300 days in the year.
At the Pasteur institute in Paris
% PAS persons have been treated from
1ss5-when the institute was estab-
lished-to the beginning OF 1900. VI
these 103 died after treatment.
Gen. Strejelbinzky, the greatest OF
Russian geographers, died recently at
the age of rs years. His Measure
ments Of the Surface of the Russian
Empire" is not only the standard for
all maps of Russia, but has been
model for other works in that depart
ment of geography.
Some curious facts are set forth
concerning trees in an article by Mr..
Frank French. A single oak OF good
size is said to lift 1913 tons of water
during the months it is in leaf. This
moisture is evaporated and rises to
form rain clouds. From this estimate
of the labor of single oak we can
gain some idea of the immense force
which the forests exert in equalizing
the evaporation and precipitation and
preventing periods Of inundation and
drought.
Experiments in France have shown
that chimney SCOT is valuable, both as
| a manure and as an insecticide. Its
fertilizing properties are particularly
| noted in gardens and meadows. M
Dasserre, wine-grower in southern
France, AYERS that chimney SCOT kill
the phylloxera with the rapidity of .
stroke of lightning, and at the same
| time endows the vines with extraor
binary energy of growth" Other ex
perimenters, however, have not found
It effective in the case of phylloxera
although it kills many kinds of lar
vac.
The plan of using floating nets Il
reduce the force of waves at sea or a
the mouths of harbors is being teste'
by Baron d'Allessandro, an italian liv
ing in Par.,. Such nets form a crus
over which the waves cannot climl
and under which they become mucl
fattened out. A net lately made j
800 feet long and 50 feet wide, wit
square inches of ~ inches, the ma
terial being waterproof hemp, and tn
weight being less than half an ounc
per square foot. This was anchore
at the Port of Havre to prevent som
unfinished hydraulic work from
heavy surf.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27

Notwithstanding his income, John d. 1
Rockefeller lives with the utmost sim
plicity. His table does not abound in
luxurious food. His abodes are plainly
furnished. Yet he has more money
than monarchs who are surrounded by
gold-laced functionaries and are hur-
ried abroad in carriages ornamented
with solid gold. This quiet man, at
whose feet great universities are called
into being and schools and colleges
take on new life, has the wealth of
Croesus, the touch of Midas and the
worldly wisdom of Solomon.
Those who wish to get an idea of the
figures upon which the estimate of
John d. Rockefeller's wealth is based
need first to turn their thoughts to oil.
Mr.. Rockefeller owns about one-third
of the 500, 900 900 stock of the Stand.
ard Oil company.
The stock pays dividends of 4s per
cent. year, which would give him an
annual income of SIC, 00O, 900.
Aside from that he has an enormous
income from iron interest in the Mesa
ba range. He has the controlling inter-
est in a feet of steamers upon the great
lakes. He has large and select blocks
of stock in gas and electric companies
in the principal cities of the United
States. The Standard Oil company
helps him to control gas and electricity
in almost unlimited quantities.
Nj. Rockefeller's interest in railroad
properties are extensive. He practical
~ owns the Missouri, Kansas & Pacific
railroad. The stock is cheap, yet the
bonds pay interest. 1t is generally I'M
derstood that Mr.. Rockefeller has stock
in the Missouri Pacific, the Chicago &
Northwestern, the Chicago, Milwau-
kee & St. Paul, the Delaware, Lacka-
wanna & Western, the New York Cen
trail. the New York, New Haven & Hart
ford, the Pennsylvania, the Union Pa
cifc, the Baltimore & Ohio, the North
ern Pacific, the Chicago 4 Alton, the
Chicago, Burlington & Quincy and the
National Transit company. He also
has stock in the National City bank.
the Farmers Loan and Trust company,
the Amalgamated Copper company and
scores of other mining properties are
on his lists.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27
rhe FAN of babylon.

"Now, children said the Sunday school
teacher, (which of you can tell me why
Babylon fell?" go,
There was a long silence. The little ones
bent over and. looked at one another and
drew long breaths, but none of them said
anything.
length. I'm surprised! Isn't there any
little boy or girl in this class who can tell
WIN Babylon fell? Isn't there any one OF
YOU who can think of any reason why Baby
lon should have fallen?"
Then a boy with large brown freckles on
the bridge of his nose and thumb with
blackened nail put up his hand :, -,
"Ah," the sweet-faced teacher said, II
Thought some of you must know, if you only
Mopped to think. What was it, Percy! -,
Mebby he stepped on banana peel
Percy suggested Chicago TimesHerald.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27

faces and shot themselves weary In
= reckless contest of skill and endur-
ance. A great, hulking fellow, half
drunk and . bit quarrelsome, came
up, presently, and endeavored to help
Alb hold his rife. The latter brushed
him away and said nothing for mo-
ment. But every time he tried to
take aim the fellow jostled him.
Alb looked up slowly and calmly, his
eyebrows tilted for his aim, and said:
go off, tell you" Then he set him.
self and took aim again.
The man, aching for more applause,
grew more impertinent. Alb quietly
handed the rifle to it's owner. Then
something happened suddenly. 1t
was so quickly over I am not quite
sure of the order of business, but any
how he seized the intruder by the
shoulders, flinging him down 80
heavily it knocked the dust out OF
the grass.
Alb turned quietly to the range.
"Hedn't orter T. come an try Z
dew my aimin'," he said. mildly, by
way of protest; II won't hev it."
Then he inquired about the score
and calmly took aim again.
The stallion show came on that
afternoon.
"They can't never beat the boss"
Uncle Eb had said to me.
"'Fraid they WILL" / answered.
They're better hitched, for one
thing"
But they hain't got the ginger In
EN-" said he, Ger the git Jpn git. II
we can show what's in him, the
Hawk'll beat 'em easy"
II we won / was to get the prize
but / had small hope Of winning
When 1 saw one after another pranct
out, in sparkling silver harness
adorned with rosettes of ribbon
housekeeping, beautiful creatures, a
of them-I could see nothing but de
feat for us. Indeed, i could see VI
had been too confident. dreaded
the moment when Uncle Eb shoult
drive down with Black Hawk in I
plain leather harness, drawing
palmer buggy. 1 had planned t.
spend the prize money taking Hop
to the harvest ball at Richards, AMI
! 1 had worked hard to put the Hawl
in good fettle. 1 began to feel tn
bitterness of failure.
"Black Hawk! Where is Blacl
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27

wagons with generations enough in
them to make respectable geneal-
ogy, the old people in chairs; light
wagons that carried young men and
their sweethearts: backwoodsmen
coming out in ancient vehicles upon
rseling, creakirg wheels to get food
for a years reflection-all thickening
the haze of the late summer with the
dust of the roads. And Hillsborough
itself was black with people. The
shouts of excited men. the neighing
Of horses. the believing of cattle, the
waiting Of infants, the bowling OF
vendors, the pressing crowd, had be-
gun to sow the seed of misery in the
minds of those accustomed only to
the peaceful quietude of the farm.
The staring eye, the palpitating heart,
the aching head, were successive
stages in the doom of many. The fair
had it's floral hall carpeted with saw
dust and redolent of cedar, its dairy
house, it's mechanics hall. sacred to
farming implements, it's long sheds
full of sheep and cattle, it's dining
hall, it's temporary booths of rough
lumber, it's half-mile track and
grand stand. Here voices of beast
and vendor mingled in chorus of Gu
pidity and distress. In Floral hall Sol
Rollin was on exhibition. He gave
me . cold nod, his lips set for tune
as vet inaudible. He was surveying
sundry examples of rustic art that
hung on the circular railing of the
gallery and trying to preserve calm
breast. He was looking at Susan
Bakers painted cow. that hung neal
us.
every descriptive" he said, when
pressed him for his notion of it.
Rod Bakers sister Susan made tibet
COW. Cite tew dollars an fifty cents
every fair time-wish was dewirg'i
well."
That's one of the most profitable
cows in this country" said. Looks
Roc5 deal like new breed"
sYes," he answered soberly. thel
he set his lips, threw a sweeping
glance into the gallery and passed on
found Alb Thomas at the rih'
range. He was whiting as he CON
sidered a challenge from Tip Taylor
TO shoot a match. He turned ana
'shefted" the rife, silently. and thel
he squinted over the barrel two o.
three times.
'Dunno but what III try ye once
be aid. presently. sjest { see"
onee siaSted. they grew red in thst
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27
"G.LANa rHERE~ HE SHOUTED.

Hawk?" said one Of the judges,
loudly.
Owned by David Brewer, o. Fara-
way" said another, looking at his
card.
Where indeed was Uncle Eb? /
got up ON the fence and looked all
about me anxiously. Then heard
a great cheering up the track. Some
body was coming down, at q rapid
pace, riding splendid-moving ami
NAL, knee rising to the nose at each
powerful stride. His head and flying
name obscured the rider, but l could
see the end of rope swinging in his
hand. There was something familiar
in the easy stride of the horse. The
cheers came on ahead of him like
foam before breaker. Upon my
eyes! 1t was Black Hawk, with moth
ing but a plain rope halter on his
head. and Uncle Eb riding him.
"G'lang there!" he shouted. swing
ing the halter stale to the shining
flank. "Glang thereI" and he went
by, like q fash, the tail of Black
Hawk straight out behind him, it,
end feathering in the wind. 1t was
q splendid thing to see that white
haired man, sitting erect on the fly-
ing animal, with only rope halter
in his hand. Every man about me
was yelling. I swung my hat, shout
ing myself hoarse. When Uncle Eb
came back. the Hawk was walking
quietly in crowd of men and boys
eager to feel his silken sides. ]
crowded through and held the horses
nose while Uncle Eb got down.
Thought 1 wouldn't put no luther
on him." said Uncle Eb. "God's gin
i'm good nun harness"
| The judges came and looked him
over.
Guess hen win the prize. al right
said one of them.
And he did. When we came home
that evening every horse ON the road
thought himself . trotter and went
speeding to try his pace with every
thing that came up beside him. And
many a man Of PARKWAY. that W,
passed, sent up shout of praise fol
the Black Hawk.
But was thinking of Hope and
the dance at Richards. / had plent,
of money now. and my next lette,
urged her to come home ct once
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27
WHY Yucatan Chill Tonic (improved) i

Why Yucatan Chill Tonic (improved) ID
Superior to all So-Called Tasteless Tonics
Because it is acceptable to the most delicate
stomach. Does not sicken, nauseate or pro-
duce bad taste. Each dose contains the
same proportion of medicine. Half the
medicine does not stick to the bottle. No
shaking of the bottle required-the compo-
nent parts are thoroughly assimilated. 1t
has pleasant taste. Formula Quinine, Iron
and Pepsin. Drives out Malarial Poisons!
Purifies the Blood! Strengthens the Nerves!
Produces hearty appetite! The Best Tonic
Known! Price, 80 cents. Cure guaranteed.
For sale by druggists.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27
RICHER THAN ANY KING.
Greater Than That Of Any
Monarch.

If the real possession of wealth gave
sovereignty to a man John D. Rookie
TELLER, of the Standard Oil company,
would be the mightiest potentate on
earth. His annual income is greater
than that of all the sovereigns of Eu-
rope combined, says the Chicago Chron-
icle, as the following table will show:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27

An insect known as the ground hor.
net il doing considerable damage to
lawns in some south Jersey towns.
Ahey bore through the ground htss
nolA
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27

She-Take care, Alfred; that isn't the
remedy for seasickness. Don't you see the
bottle is marked poison"
He (groaning)-That's the one want
N. Y. World.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27

The Best Prescription for Chi1ls
and Fever is bottle of GROVES TAsrELEss
CHILL Tonic. tits simply irop and quininein
atasteless form. No cure-no pay. Price 5Oc.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27
HalI's Catarrh CuEe
L taken Internally. Price 75c.

Don't allow yourself to become melan1
choly Laugh once in awhile. whether yo9
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27

His Idea.-Nephew-"This hotel is run
on the European plan." Uncle Josh
"How's thats Do they charge Americans
twice a. much - anybody else?-Puck.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1900-10-27

The letter P, like the selfish friend. b
first in pity and last in help.-Chicaso DAILY
News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1900-11-16
CHILDREN LOVE PETS.
Most Boys ana aRirls Are willi.E to
& Share the Good Things They Get
with Their % uinb Friends. ~

Children a. q >ruie love their pets
and are willing to share whatever they
may have-t to eat with them! The lit
tie girl in the picture, however, seems
to be an exception. Ia =: 7@.ss 4:
I suspect her dog at one time had
been very greedy and probably swal.
lowed her whole piece of cake at one
gulp. and now she is. furnishing him
by not giving him any. %,ss
One little boy I know doesn't want
to- eat anything unless his dog can
share it with him. -" -.
All good children love animals and
want to be kind to them. .....-.~
I read of q little girl who loved he1
dog so much she insisted upon q lamp
being kept burning in the room where
he slept for fear he would be lonely
and afraid ~ 80 =
Another little girl, whose mother in.
sisted upon drowning q superauous
lot of kittens, urged that the water
be warmed SO the little things would
die more comfortably.
A pretty story is told Of the prin.
cess OF Wales, who from the time she
was little girl has loved animals and
had them about her. At her home
4Sandringham palace, is dove-cote
where number OF beautiful white
doves are kept, Whether these pretty
birds are preening their feathers or
their little tree or nesting in thei1