The daily sentinel., 1900-11-28
Se3ti3eI SborteakQs.
TOMORROW AND FRIDAY.
With hopes gone astray
This existence is vexed:
We're thankful one day

This existence Ia vexed:
We're thankful one day
And dyspeptic the next
-Buggville Gazoot.
Wonder il that s5O,OOO,OO0 cattle trust
will water its stock, too?
The man who has found place where
he can get trusted for a turkey, has
something to be thankful for.
That Kansas county that boasts of
having more pigs than people is probably
getting things mixed up.
A. bank cashier who takes Is years to
steal 22Ol 900 is not 30 swift as the up
to-date train robber who can secure an
equal amount in ten minutes.
A dispatch from Toledo tells OF widow
who "beat man with an umbrella most
numerically, breaking six ribs" but
neglects 70 state whether the broken
parts were OF the victim or of the I'm
brela.
Wm. thinner, Clinton, Ia, man,
claims to have voted for James Monroe
in 1920 and to be l02 years old, despite
the fact that he "chews and smokes Wig
orously and has persistently read the
papers from childhood"
The loosenees of the present divorce
laws is indicated in the case OF that
Omaha woman who secured divorce
because her husband, in order to keep
the snakes out OF his boots at night had
persisted in going to bed with them on.
"Was bald six years. says patent
medicine Advertisement, referring to the
careful observer will no doubt find Nels
will have been bald seven years, one year
hence.
Octave Mirabeau, the celebrated
French author, has written book in
which he finally solves the troublesome
servant girl problem by advocating the
doing with them altogether. Sim
pie as it may seem, this solution has
never been thought of before.
BLUE MICROBES.
When you're feeling blue, please hide it
Squech it, il you can;
| 'Tis germ, which-woe betide it !
| Skips from man to man.
--Buggville Gazoot.
In the Peter Sells divorce case now
pending at Columbus, Chic, a servant
girl testified that she rubbered through
the key hole OF Mrs Sells apartments
one night when the old gent was away
with the show, and, metaphorically speak
ing, she saw whole circus inside"
A dispatch from Stockholm states that
Prof. Nathorst has offered a reward of
600 crowns for each of the remaining ten
buoys taken by the Andree Arctic bal
Ion expedition. This offer is no doubt
made with the suppostion that the find
ing OF the buoys will reneal the where
abouts OF the old man,
The editor Of the Kopjevills Excuse
thinks the old saw about lightning not
striking more than onceiin the same place
is knocked pizzle end up because it
struck a certain New Jersey church
steeple five times in five consecutive
years.; but close investigation would
probably reveal the fact that it struck a
different shingle each time,
Burglars entered the private apart
ments OF Baltimore lady who had for
two years been bed ridden with rheum-
atism. and now she says it was "the mir.
aculous working of God through faith"
Skeleton key manipulators will find in
this regular seal-skn sacque cover to
justify them to pursue their favorite cal
ling.
In yesterdays issue tho editor OF the
Gazoot becomes sentimental and elects
the following from his foozle headed dice.
box: "The Grand Junction weather mans
persistency in keeping up the white flag
during the recent rainy weather should
be an object lesson for US to continually
wear oue "sunshine face" and help to
drive away the rainy days from the lives
OF the more unfortunate whom we meet
from day to day"