The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1900-05-09

NOW, remember 70 look sad when YOU
give me away-and don't seem to
hurry. Oh, | forgot what l have to
say.
IIapa-Just repeat = = this collar! (!
Repeat what the clergyman says-just
humble it.
The Bride-I simply won't say
Obey | told Tom so last night.
shall say "Love, honor and be gay"
He said if did he said he'll stop the
ceremony.
Papa Well, done stop it, under
stand. This thing has cost me more
than was ever worth. l have
mortgaged everything l own, and
The Bride : Don't you care; Tom 3
rich. Get off my gown, pa
Papa-This collar will give me spo-
plcxy!
The Bride-IIold your head away
back. and it simply cant slip up.
And, OH do look sad, pa, please, or
Tom will think you are glad to get rid
Of me.
THE BRIDESMAIDS.
First Bridesmaid Look at the Van
Styles, in their old spaDgled gowns.
Walk slower so we can see all the peo-
pie.
Second Bridesmaid There's Fanny
Foolsom. I'm going to smile and bow
all the way. 1t looks horrid to be too
stiff.
Third Bridesmaid Look at poor
Tom! lie doesn't seem bit happy,
does he? l wonder if he really does
care for her.
Fourth Bridesmaid you think
the pins are pretty?
First Bridesmaid Rather. hate
pearls, though. l think Pinky
might have had diamonds; they're Sc
small
Second Bridesmaid But the bou-
quets are superb. Let's hold them up
high.
Third Bridesmaid Tom paid for
them, you know. He's dear boy. He
used to send me such lovely flowers!
Do you really think he's happy? He 8
80 pale.
Fourth Bridesmaid They always
pale. This is the third time I've been
bridesmaid, and I have always noticed
it,
First Bridesmaid-L Look at that lit
tie Mrs. Widowton! She's per-
fectly wild at Tom g. marrying
Pinky. She had her eye on him her
self.
Second B. M.-Look at Pinky pa 5
collar. Isn't it funny?
Third B. M.-Have you seen the
going away gown? It's dream.
Fourth B. Nm m. Turqoisc blue
cloth and sable.
Third B. M.-Poor, dear Tom. He
certainly does look unhappy.
THE us;iERs.
First Usher-Look at EN- all rub
bcring. Say, get in step. Left, left,
left-slow! That's it. You got it.
Now keep it.
Second Usher-Look at poor old
Tommy up there! You'd think he'd
lost his best friend.
Third Usher-Glad its him and not
me. Say, 60 slow. This ism t two
step. Oh, my head.
Fourth Usher-It's a terrible mis-
take TO have bachelor dinner on the
night before a Wedding. I'm surprised
that we're here at all. Who took Tom
home?
First fishery You can search me, 1
didn notice. What's your rush, old
man? You're not playing golf. Left,
left, left.
Second Usher-1fyou' d only keep #
my feet might
The music stops. There is aut.er
and then silence. Then the clergy
man pronounccs sentence.
LosT-NIany golden opportunities
hsvo been lost by those who suffer
rheumatism. By taking Rheumacide
now they will be permanently and
positively cured. Sold in Anderson
by Ev. rs Pharmacy.
- Little Bob-I know what makes
Mr.. Nicefello's mustache so stiff. It's
mucilage. Mamma-Nonseuse. Lit.
Bob-Yes, it is. He kissed sister
in the hall and they could hardly get
unstuck.
The ladies wonder how Mrs. B.
manages to preserve her youthful looks.
The secret is she takes Prickly Ash
Bitters; it keeps the system in perfect
order. For further particulars call on
Evans Pharmacy.