The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1900-10-12
KANSAS CLIPS AND COMMENTS

hANSAD OIlI y AMI OOm mENlO
A bunch of funnyness fromthe Wav-
erly Gazette; "Quenemo has about as
much use for two papers as hog has
for hustle"
Newspaper dom, of New York, says
that for Is years the job of Secretary
ST State in Kansas has been held by
newspaper men.
A Galena merchant had glittering
arc light put up at the rear of his
store. Humphumph! You're wrong.
He runs dry goods store.
Mixed with the sublime.and instruc-
tive features of the Salina fair were
numerous touching things. Sixteen of
these we're corralled in the city bastile
one morning.
McPherson's school professor says
he will run the risk of bringing lee
ture course to town if enough. people
will sign an agreement to pay before
hand so there will be no risk.
A Kansas man in New York heard
an improbable story and said, "I'm
from Missouri" A New Yorker over
heard him, misunderstood and re-
TudTk6us w eli, L DS dSudiuCu w
own it.
Out at Quenemo they have revived
an ancient custom with slight varia-
ton. They held big barbecue then
baby show. The ancient savages
ate the cooked kids and then
worshipped the golden calf.
The fact that A Wise Woman elect
ed TO stop at Cherry vale has satisfied
Cotfeyville and Independence that she
is travelling under an assumed name.
The Peabody News has inside infor-
nation tnat there are 1000 marriages
| in the world each day. Thus lavish
! ly does Nature provide raw material
for the divorce factories.
The Atchison Globe declares that if
women must wear some dead animal
on their hats they should wear dog
tails. thus showing that they had
helped rid the world of pest.
The Neodesha Register has wearied
of that prolonged fake about all Neo-
desha people being physically bean
| poles and prints list of thirty-one
citizens who weigh over 200 pounds
each.
Whenever the Marion Headlight
wants to be particularly funny it gets
out a German edition. The Peabody
News declares this superauous as the
/ paper would be a pulling wonder in
any language.
Oneida item in the Seneca Tribune:
! Clarence Gilkerson came to town the
other day with his hair white. lnves-
LEGATION disclosed that he had been
putting his head in lower barrel
hallooing papa" 1t is girl.
How times havechanged. At Wichi-
ia the other day a farmer standing
on the street watching the parade was
thought of the loss but worked over
time keeping the matter quiet and re-
fused to tell his name.
Emporia society has come to a halt.
All the girls are baking bread in the
hope of becoming experts so they can
win the prize at next years street fair
for the best loaf. The Gazette prom
ised to print the winners name and
picture and do it's best to get her a
husband within a year.
A Kansas woman received a meek
looking cat by express in response To
the advertisement in her local paper;
"a lady in delicate health wishes a
useful companion. She must be do.
mesticated, musical, an early riser,
amiable, of good appearance, and
have some experience in nursing"
The editor of the Chanute Times was
calling at the home of a friend, 9
working man. "Oh: yes, we have
prospered IN this country, but the
} robber tariff is grinding out ourlives
, Why, I'm taxed on this carpet, OF
these pictures, the furniture, tina
piano, on the sewing machine. Inevel
paid taxes on such things in England. ;
And the meek wife joined in, "No
/ John, you never paid tax on sucl
things in England, we didn't have an,
of them"
Topeka Capital: A short-change
2 with a circus worked Florence MAJ
e for four dollars. The man went to tn
marshal and put up roar. The mar
shall went to the manager of the shoN
and put up hot talk. sob, yes,
said the manager, 81 have the $4here
u, The fellow was honest about it an
. came to me with the money as soon a
he found what he had done and re
IL quested me to find the owner" Tn
:, Bulletin says that on hearing this tn
=, marshal fell over themonkey cage in
"a swoon. Friends carried him to shad
J. spot and he has been trying eve
Is since to find out where he's at.