New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1900-08-28

II is recorded of Thomas Figg a postman at
firing. England who has just retired on pension
that IN the course OF forty years of service ne
has walked 10000 miles.
Bthel-Mamma. don't you think women o should ID
look after their husbands digestions when they
Mamma-Certainly. dear.
praeffse MAXIM SS Life
Richard H. Edmonds. the Editor Of 1.-The Manu-
facturers' Record who has recently made a tour
through Mexico says: while the manufacturers
are making enormous profits the laboring classes
are paid in silver worth, OF course, only half as
much as gold L.aborers get from 20 or so cents TO
81 day in silver the latter figure being for higher
class workmen equal TO 20 3 cents to 50 cents
day in our money. This ability to employ laoorers
on silver basis and sell the product on the basis
Of cost in the gold countries Of the world Is natu
rally causing a tremendous increase IN the capital
going into manufacturing. Laborers employed at
these wages work from sunrise to sunset, and
when crowded work at night without extra pay,
and never strike organize into labor unions
Under these circumstances II Is said that the
manufacturers and capitalists OF Mexico are max
ing vast profits. which would astonish American
business men. Stimulated by these conditions.
company is being organized in Chicago to pur-
chase the Durango iron property with view to
greatly increasing its output. while many Western
capitalists especially the big mining operators OF
Colorado and California. now investing in
Mexican mining and industrial undertakings"
Nimrod-Pat, did you ever catch frogs?
Nimrod"What ala You bait with?
Pat-Begorry, OF bate EN- with sthiek.-(Chi-
cagn News
There is a little settlement OF New-Hampshire
people in Kiowa County, Col Among other things
they brought with them the New-Hampshire aver
sion to using any more words in conversation than
are absolutely necessary. Two Of them met the
road recently and INDUCED in the following dia-
logue:
''Mornin'. ST."
"fornin', JOSH
"whatd you give your horse for hots9'
"Turpentine."
"Mornin'."
"MornIn'.'
few days later the men met again. and here's
the way hard luck story told in mighty few
words
''Mornin', ST."
"Mornin', Josh"
"what'd you say YOU gave your horse for botsr''
'"Turpentine."
KILLED mine
Mine. too.
''Mornin'.''
"Mornin'."
I'D be willing" said the chronic dyspeptic. Ito
Invent plano with common sense keys only
What do you mean by common sense keys?''
the blamed thing up."-Phiadephia Press.
The Rev. Abraham Iris. of Howard, Kan. ex-
postuates with The Kansas City Star for re-
porting rainmaking experiments. on the
ground that such experiments are contrary to the
Bible. which declares that He sendeth rain on
the just and the unjust" He says that for man
to usurp one of the prerogatives of God is bias
phemy.
WHEN THE CRITIC WENT ABROAD.
oh, he criticised his country
And the way affairs were run;
He upbraided those in office
For the bad things they had done;
He swung his arms. declaring
And he tore his hair and fretted
And he clawed the air and fumed
I'VE are going down and backward"
He announced IN wrathful tones:
I'VE are robbed and we are plundered
We are starved star ed to o skin and SoPes'
We only toiling slaves.
Going down shameful gravesl''
Then he sailed away to Europe.
Where he heard a scofer say:
Is before the world to-day!
How misgoverned. how besotted!
Whereupon the noble Yankee
Licked him till he couldn't stand!
Chicago Tmes-Herald
When Sir Richard F. Burton In 1863 was sent
a special mission to His Majesty Gelele King
of Dahomey he bore with him. among other gifts
from Queen Victoria. richly embossed silver pipe
with amber mouthpiece The King told Burton
that he liked his old red clay and wooden stem
pipe better than the one. and that II Queen
Victoria wished really to please him she would
send him carriage and pair OF horses and
white woman. The Kings return presents TO the
British Queen consisted OF native pipes and to-
baccO for her smoking. loin cloths for Her
Majesty 10 change while travelling. and an UNI
brella. 20 be held over her head while drinking
These gifts, however. never reached the Queen,
having been lost in transit.
NTH Amy; and to-day of all days. Don't you know
WiHe-Yes hut mamma this "a a raligtous ais