Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1900-12-20
1T "HAS BEEN "
" A PEACH"

Tread lightly, dear reader, speak
low, for we are standing beside the
death bed of the Nineteenth Cent
ury The old man is about to pass
in his checks. Even now he fun
bleS with the sheets and smiles up
on his fingers ends. The death
rattle is in his throat and the flame
of life tlickerS fccbly in his fading
eyes.
We are sorry to part with the
old fellow, for he has been cork
cr in his time. Other centuries
previous to this one have plugged
along thru life aS best they could,
making no footprints and leaving
no spoor ON the sands of time To
speak of, but the Nineteenth Cent
ury has been II hummer. In his
youth he may have been giddy and
indiscrcet, but we should remcm-
Der there were no W. {. T. tiers
in those days to seize him 10y the
slack of his trousers and pull him
away from the primrose paths of
sin. In his youth he enjoyed but
few of the comforts and cOnVcn-
fences of life. His food was cook
ed in IA Dutch oven and he had To
light his pipe with flint. He
wrote his love letters with Il goose
quill and fastened his gallusrs with
a thorn. All! Little did he think
that before he passed off the stage
of action he would be wearing golf
suits, riding bicycles and eating
pie with II fork. Little did he
dream that before be passed up the
tiumc he would he wearing papier-
machc teeth and voting the Aus
tralian ballot.
When he was ushcred into the
world, hundred years ago, the
housewives leached their own lyc
and kept the flies away from the
table with a peach sprout. There
were no fly screens, no cook stoves,
no carpet Swecpers, no yeast cakes,
no baking powder, no canned fruit,
no insect powder, no shoe button
crs, no chautauquas, no spring
mattresses, no union suits, no
rubber shoes, no cucumber spoons,
no sewing machines, no toilet
soap, no clothes wringcrS, no
clothes-pins. Think of it, Our
great, great grandmothcrS, Il hun
dred years ago, never enjoyed the
luxury Of hanging out clothes on
wash day with "A twO-by-four Syca-
more clothcs.pin between their ru-
by lips!
y century ago there Were no tel
cgraphs, no railroads, no steam
ships, no telephones, no type
writers, no stem winding watches,
no barhcd wire fences, no dchorn-
ed cattle, no paramount issues, no
Mark Hanna. During the rcntu-
ry the shirt waist has been diScOv-
cred, the ycrmiform appendix has
been hunted tOitS lair, the micrObc
has been bred up to It's present
proud condition and is now stand
ard and registered, thrcShing ma
chimes have come into use and the
throw board has been invented.
Perhaps some of my readers do
not know what "A throw board is.
Did you ever take the down
row.
On il cold December morn,
When the frost was on thcpump-
kin,
And the slobbcr ON the corn!
If YOU did YOU can realize what
wonderful invention the throw
board is. II has abolished the
down row" in corn gathering
time and thus rcyoIutionlzcd the
morals Of the farmer boy.
II is Il solemn thing 10 stand 10y
the death bed of century. Some
Of Us, perhaps, will never see AN
other century croak Lrt MS then
be up ana doing, with heart for
any fate, still achieving, still pur-
suing, till it's time 10 pull our
freight. The Nineteenth Century
has lopcd down thru the shining
: corridors on the home stretch inn
PEELED by steam and charged with
electricity. Smooth down his dy-
ing pillow and gently wipe the
death damp from his brow. lie
has been the greatest century that
: ever came down the pike. He has
, brought to the world the rlpcncd