The daily morning Alaskan., 1900-07-15
HEAD FIRST IN Al. ,RRRL.

HEAD FIRST IN A ,RRKL.
didn't know exactly how to meet Il,
but finally took or our coat and sailed
into the crowd. 1t was the medicine
needed. We got a few thumps and
bangs, but in the course of half an,
hour the strike was over, the union dis
solved and the agitator taking a walk.
We are for liberty. equality, high
wages, shorter hours aud all the rest
Of it. but the man who sets out to run
our business has got to lick us first.
We were told on Tuesday that the
physical and mental wreck whom we
are obliged by courtesy to refer to as
our esteemed contemporary had threat
ened again to shoot US on sight-being
about the hundredth time in the last
two years-but we were by NO means
prepared for his wonderful feat of
Wednesday. He actually did stop us
on Apache avenue and pull gun. For
some time we were In doubt whether
he would shoot us or himself: but. find
ing that he was liable to accident, we
picked him and his gun up and deposit
ed them head first in barrel In front
Of SINNERS grocery. The editor re-
manned there, with his heels in the air,
until some one extended a helping
hand. We shall never draw gun on
our esteemed. We may jab at him
with a toothpick, yell at him in low
bass or barrel him up, but his life is
safe with us.
The events of the past year as affect
ing us personally have kept us from
feeling homesick.. On New Years day,
1899, we had IL occupants of our prl-
vate graveyard, which is the only edi-
torial cemetery In the world. During the
year we were obliged to add two to the
number. In both instances we hesitat-
ed and hung back until it became
matter of painful necessity. 1t Is need,
less to add that we were fully exoner.
ated by the coroner's jury and that we
paid all funeral expenses. In the year
we delivered II orations, five political
speeches and seven lectures. Two at
tempts were made to assassinate us,
and we were twice held up and robbed.
Four different men shot at us in our
sanctum without serious results, and
we were the direct cause of five bad
men leaving town for good. For a
small town Giveadam Gulch Is lively
one. A young man who wishes to be-
gin an editorial career cannot do better
than to make his debut here. Each
and every day brings its little incident
or adventure, and every time a bullet
perforates his hat or cuts bhtton
from his clothes he finds himself in.
cited to renewed efforts. We were laid
up for few days on two occasions by
stray bullets and were obliged to craw-
fish on two or three more; but, on the
whole, we had a good time and made a
gain on the struggle for fame.
1t is needless to, say to our readers
that the course Of The Kicker for the
coming year will be onward and up
ward. We shall make 1t even more
redhot as a political organ, We shall
probably advocate a. war with Mexico
and demand, annexation Of Canada.
We shall have dark horse" of our
own for the next presidency. We shall
do our best 10 bust three or four trusts
and speak many encouraging words to
Sunday schools. Now and then. when
the stage breaks down or food car
ries away a bridge. we may get out OF
ink and paper and be obliged to issue q
half sheet. but that nalf sheet will he
corker We have always led in poll
tics and shall continucto, head the pro-
cession. We are hustler from Sun
day morning TO Saturday night. and
Uncle Sam ma. continue to depend up
on: us to help boom North America up
into the tree tops and keep up q yell
ing. No weekly newspaper In Ameri7
ca will be more, in evidence for the
next II months, and in our most insin-
uating manner we would observe that
now IL the time to subscribe We don't
issue but one day In the week, while
dailiss come out seven times, but we
give you more than your moneys
worth and never tangle you up on the
political situation. M. QUAD.
Rat Tail Tend0ns.