The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1900-04-05

AL ulnDr IN NolunSueHn hIeiy u
Royal Academician stated to the com
pany the curious fact TINT sugar aud
sumac are the only two words In En-
glish where su is pronounced as shu.
There was much interest shown In the
discovery. when Rudyard Kipllng was
heard from the other end of the table;
But, are you quite sureT
The late Harold Frederic once sat
next to Cecil Rhodes ut dinner just
after the latter became famous, but
was not introduced. Rhodes was ST.
lent and kept his ruddy face turned
down toward his plate. "Who," said
Frederic, "is that - fool that | sat
next to at dlnnerT Tableau-moruti-
cation Of one OF the shrewdest OF Lon
don correspondents.
A member of one of the great Lon
don political clubs once lost his UNI
brella, and put up a notice In the hall
requesting the "nobleman" who had
taken II TO return II when he had done
with It. The committee. In due course.
desired to be Informed why he had
ascribed Its possession to a peer The
member biandly referred them to the
rule, which said that the club was
composed OF ''noblemen and gentle
men," and added that no gentleman
would have taken his umbrella.
The pastor of a colored congrega-
ton was warming up to the climax OF
his sermon. and his auditors were wax
ing more and more excited. Il wahns
yer, o my congregnshun" exclaimed
the exhorter, II wahns yer against dc
sin Nv crap shootin'. wahns yer
against de sin Nv whisky drinkin'. an
de sin NV chicken raisln', an l wahns
yer, my breddern, against de sin NV
melon stealin'p A deyout worshiper
In the rear of the church jumped to his
feet and snapped his fingers excitedly.
"Whuffo does yer. my brudder, ra'r up
an snap yo' fingers when | speaks NV
melon stealin'r' asked the preacher,
"kaze yo' jes' minds me whar ief'
nah oyercoat," replied the deyout wor-
shipper as he subsidized into his seat
A professor of invertebrate zoology.
wishing TO procure some trichinous
pork for purposes Of experiment, went
to his butcher and asked him II he
ever got any measly pork. some
times" the butcher cautiously answer
ed, "but I always throw It away"
WELL" said the professor. 'the next
time you have any. wish you'd send
me up some," meaning. OF course, 10
his laboratory. The butcher, although
somewhat taken aback. said that he
would Three weeks passed. when the
professor. growing impatient, again
visited the store. Haven't you found
any measly pork yetT "Why, yes"
said the butcher, 81 sent up two pounds
a week ago." A sickly grin broke over
the professors face. "where did you
send itr "Why. to your house. of
course" said the butcher.
Senator Pomeroy used to tell Of
local preacher In Kansas who had
forced himself upon the stump after
Lincoln's nomination and demanded
recognition of the party for his sery-
Ices during the campaign. He said he
would like to be sent MS minister plen-
ipotentiary to England or France. and
when told II was impossible insisted
upon being appointed consul at Liver
pool. Finally, being assured of the
impossibility of getting what he
thought was about his due, said:
Senator, can't you think of some place
that would suit meT YES" said
Pomeroy, 1--WE thought of place that
would suit you and that you would
suit, and that there Is n possibility of
getting for you. It's an Indian agen-
cy." IAN Indian agency? What's
thatT queried the preacher. "Well.
you are to look after the welfare of our
red brothers, and see that their sup
plies are properly and honestly dellv-
cred to them" 'What Is 1t worthT'
"One thousand FIVE hundred dollars
and perquisites," replied the Senator.
"Perquisitesi What perquisites?"
swell, you see. my friend, the gov
eminent contracts for so many head Of
beef cattle averaging about SO many
hundred pounds. Now, In delivering
these cattle. they are to be counted
while being driven into the Enclosure,
and II yearling should happen to slip
In now and then you are not to make
too much fuss about II, and there you
will find your perquisites. Think II
over" 'I'll take It," said the reverend
gentleman; 1--WE already thought IL
over. and do you know, Senator,
think veal is n blamed sight better
than beef for Indians, anyway"
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