The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-01-10

There are nine In town, DuC all are III
the pen with you"
land things might have gone hard with
us had it not been for the fact that the
judge was there, too, but had just
stepped out as the raid was made. Moth
ing was said about it, Of course but he
let us off with fine of So each and a lot
Of fatherly e."-Washington Post.
Sue (who has just been asked to play
something on the piano)-"l really can't
play anything"
Tommy" But, I say, Sue, why don t
YOU play that piece you spoke to Mo
aboutw
Sue-"What piece?''
Tommy-"Why, that one you told me
to ask you to play when we had COM
pany, cause you know it better'n any of
the others. forget the name"'
Then Tommy was sent to bed.-Ilt-
Bits.
1t costs nothing to be ordinarily polite,
even under adverse circumstances, and 1t
generally pays. A passenger in a sleep.
ing car, who was tired and sleepy aud
wanted to go to bed, called out to a man
who had just entered the coach and was
hurrying through it:
Say, isn't it about time to have these
berths made up?"
what do you take me for?" apgrily
replied the other stopping and coming
back. do look like sleeping-car con
ductor?'
ing ND at him YEARLY. You do not. |
beg your pardon. My observation is thar
sleeping-car conductor is always a gen
tleman." Youths Companion.
The caution of some. people in giving
an answer to direct question was well
Illustrated the other day, when a young
fellow, whose family were not noted for
very active habits, was asked: Il hear
that your fathers death was very sud-
den? Slowly drawing one hand from
his pocket, the Intercepted one cautious
ly replied: "Ay, it was unco' sudden for
him. l ne'er knew O my feyther bein'
in hurry before"
General" exclaimed the Filipino. II
have just made a highly -important dis
covery" What is it," L am in
formed On undoubted authority that the
world is round What do we care?''
'Well, general, it might be we'll to take
precautions against retEeating SO fast
that we will make a complete circle
and unexpectedly collide with the en-
emy's rear guard. Washington Star.
n well-known London alderman recent
ty took a cab TO his residence which is
near a cemetery, and offered the man
Is pence, which was just his legal fare
and no more. Cabby looked ct the coins,
slowly deposited them in his pocket. and
said, pointing to his horse: Dye see
that little white 'oss with the short tailg''
YES" said the alderman, rather puz-
zled; what of him?'' ''Oh, nothing:
only | 'opes as the next time you're
brought here as it'll be by black 'oss
with long tail. Evenin', SIR
''What on earth are you bringing all
those umbrellas in here fOr?" asked Mrs.
Van Fashion, as Mr.. Van Fashion pulled
into their bedroom with an armful of rain
interceptors.
Why, | thought that reception was
due tonight?"
Yes; and you are afraid the guests
will steal them, are your
Not at all. am afraid they will
recognize them. Life.
u notice that one of the handwriting
experts in the Molineux murder trial is
a raiser of fancy fowls
THAT makes him familiar with the
style of handwriting that looks like hen
scratches, suppose. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Mr.. Erdnuss (reading the newspaper
der baber says dose smart boys in der
teatrical pizness hef found anudder play
to git money from der Christians"
Mrs E.-''What is it?'
Quo Vadis.'
$50 Und what actor hef dey got to
play Quo Metcalfe in Life.