davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09

ed Stage Presence. They expressed Sur
prise that she should be attempting TO
Sing when any Girl of Average Intelli-
gence could learn to pound a Typewriter
IN four Weeks. They wanted 10 know
who was responsible for her Appearance
and said il was a Shame to String these
jay Amateurs
Lutte read the Criticisms and went into
Nervous Collapse. Her Mother was all
Wrought Up and said somebody ought to
90 and kill the Editors. Father bore il
gr:mly. Before Lutte was COnValescent
he had all the difficult Italian Arias cart
ed out Of the House. The Cello PLAYER
called one day and he was given minutes
10 get out OF the Ward.
By the time Oliver looked in again Lutte
was good and ready 10 pay some Atten-
ton 10 him. She is now doing a few quiet
Nocaiizations for her Intimate Friends
When some one who has not heard tells
her that she has NOrdica stopped and that
she Is good enough TO go out in Opera,
she asks some one TO open Window and
let In the Cool Air.
MORAL-When in Doubt. try II on the
Box-Office.
Copyright, 1900. by Robert Howard Rugsen)
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09


UP little Come around the corner and
ride I'D and down a few times. You've
ridden before, haven't your
a lew times"
When they had turned the corner and
were out OF sight Of the house, Mr. Bow
ser made mis- beginning. He had heard
an old rider say that confidence was hdlf
the battle. He summoned al his comb
dence and jumped into the saddle After
4 good deal Of ClaWing he got one pedal
but the other kept out Of his way, and
The bIke wabbled and lodged around ani
finally banged into the curb and sent the
rider over the handle bar. Brown looked
a him obviously as nc got up and rubbed
his bruises, but lr. BOwser was grit
I'm a little out OF practice. he said
i'm explana ton but il Will come out al,
right in five minutes. You don't think
I'm too fat, do YOU? Mrs. Bowser says
FRA too fat and my legs are too short,
but III show her before l get through.
Lemme try again
Take her right out in the middle Of
the street and resolve 10 conquer or ole.
When YOU once get On, keep your head
After two or three vain efforts Mr. Bow
ser reached the saddle again. and. % his
intense surprise, his feet struck the pedals
and he was on 4 bike sometimes does
this in its eCcentTicity. Il ne had been
left 10 himself n might have w3bbied
and twisted TIE length OF block and
banged I'D AGAINST the shade tree on the
feet when the sixteen members OF the
Zephyr Club turned IN on the block
Brown yelled and Bowser yelled. When
the sixteen Zephyrs saw something Sab-
bling all over The street, they also yelled.
but the yelling did no good. Mr.. BOWser
tried 70 fall of OF jump on, OF get on. but
six or seven festive riders struck him IL
chorus and with exceeding u12nimity-
and What Brown saw was a dark cloud
lowering over the street with human
bodies and parts Of broken wheels ascend
ing and descending and Whiriing around.
Ms. BoWseT and the cat arrived before
the performance was over. As they
watched the cloud IL drove away. and
men and women limped 20 the curb ard
sat down Mr. BOWssr was left alone
among the wrecked wheels. He was lying
on the broad Of his back. and the look on
his face was Ike that OF A man being
burned alive az the stake. They picked up
the body and carried IL along and logged
IL into the house. and as they backed out
they said 20 Mrs. Bowser.
His heart beats Yet. and you may pos
sibiy save him, but II You do he should be
confined in a iuuatic asylum all the rest
OF his days A man Ike him Is a danger
20 the whole town and should not be al
lowed 20 run az large"
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
SHARP WORK or DETECTIVES.

Chief WiIkie. in Leslie's Weekly
We knew the Office boy had a key, and
IL must be secured from him without
arousing suspicion. Operative William j.
Burns, an officer with a brilliant recorI Tor
clever work during almost a score Of
years in the service. evolved o scheme
that worked to a charm.
one OF the younger operatives made K
his business casually 10 meet the office
boy on a number of occasions; once in a
crowd standing about a street fakir: cnce
at fire in the neighto-hoOd. and again
riding few blocks with him on the tall
board of a wagon after work until the
boy learned to know his face One day
when his acquaintance had reached a
proper stage OF development. the boy was
met by the officer, apparently by chance
as he was leaving work. a bundle was
under the operatives arm.
Hello, sCnr'
Hello"
Say, how do you ike your job?''
Purity fair. Why?'
We'll, | was just wondering A friend
or mine is going 10 take q show out on
the road. and he needs ten BOYS about
your size 70 take part in one Of the court
scenes. | was thinking maybe you'd do
II you'd like to CO."
The boys eyes gliStened He was a
bright young chap. with all the charact P
isJlcs OF the up-to-date Office and .rrtnd
boy and general factOtum.
The stage? Ne? In a minute, II they's
anything in It,"
Ten week OF you're all right"
Gee! How can We find out If it's a
Easy. Come along with me 70 the no.
Tel IN going to see the marager and
I've got one Of the sample costumes with
me"
On.they went 10 , Market street hotel
where the ambitious yOunester was AIKEN
10 second floor loom. Here the COS tune
was disclosed-feshings. purple velvet
trunks pink silk dOublet Il Dlus5 can
OF dark green lined with bri 1T pink. ana
q cap al sweep pg Cstr.ch plCme Afr
er a rev moments CHEATING over the spls1-
dor OF the Ta-menr. Of came his str,eI
clothes. and on vert the pages coSt,Ir0 -
WIEN the cap was adjusted 70 his satis-
faction, and he admired himself for sDoa
moments IN The mirror MS comma Mon
broke In on his line o. thought
come up 10 TIE nI8uaECr'g IOJm and let
MIN see how you look"
And IN minute or two thew were IN n /.
managers room on th= next floor A thev
LETT the apartment an officer gtspD u from
q closet. took q bunch q keys rom The
lad trousers, saw that there was but me
Yale on the buUcI. and hustled dogyo 10
the basement where a lOcksmi,h with d :
HI was III waiting. In four minutes q df-
plicate key had been fled and tn orisf1st
was back IL tile pocket where II b-lon "a
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
SMALL H0N0RS" MEN.
no" Foreigners Discover Whether a yis-
itor L. an EngIishman.

nor is an Enslishman.
From London Truth
The peril Of the moment are the Small
Honors" men. When Artemus Ward Wa
IN London he had the following CONVEX
sation with the landlord Of the inn al
which he was staying:
Is the strange being an Americana
He is
"A general?"
mo
"A eoloneI%
No
"A major%
Not a major
"A captain
He is not
Not even thar? aflen-decsiyelv-ha
Is not an American"
On the continent they row e-nploy n
similar process to discover whether a
visitor is an Englishman.
is the stranger a X. C. B.?"
"No."
rs he K. C. S. II"
"No."
rs he a K. c. l. e.?
He is not"
rs he K. C. V. or"
"No"
rs he X. c. NJ G. ?"
He is not
Not even K. c. NJ. G., Then he is
certainly not an Englishman."
IL Is the object Of ali governments 10
make the people believe that those who
are IN authority are capable and distin-
guished men; and, therefore, now that
We nave less great men than ever before
IN cur history, the small ones are made
aruhcalIy important by having promiscu-
Gus letters added 10 their names If Is
a curious contrast to this that the lead
I lns members OF the House OF Commons
reIuse 70 accept such honors. IL is fuJJyy
llihe that the prOmiscuous distrihUtion
OF Alphabetical distinctions, and the man
fracture OF spurious celebrities. I" should
pe stopped. The Great Little Men of
which will certainly one dsv h. ,,,,,,zaS
by some cosby historian
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
Getting in Her Work.

long plaintive Notes out OF II, you could
feel that he had a soul for Music. Lutte
thought he was Great but what Lutie's
father thought OF him could never get
past the Censor.
Lutie's Father regarded the Musical
Set as Fuzzy Bunch. He began to think
that in making any Outlay for Lutie's
Vocal Training he had bought a Gold
Brick. When he first consented his Hope
was that after she had Practiced for
about one Term she would be able 10 sit
up 10 the Instrument alone in the Dusk
before the Lamps were lit. and sing.
When the Corn is Waving, Annie Dear
zone Sweetly Solemn Thought" or else,
'Juanita.' These were the Songs linked
in his Memory with some Purple Even
lngs In the Happy Long Ago. He knew
iAey were CEestluts. and had been Called
Ia, but they suited him. and he thought
that a. be had Put Up for Lutie's Les
sons, be ought 20 have some kind or a
Small Run For his Money.
Would Lutle sing such Trash? Not she
She WAS looking Tor difficult Arias from
The italian. and she found many a one
that was difficult 90 Sing. and probabiv
more difficult 60 Listen To. The Voice
began 90 be- ErTatic. also. When Father
wanted to- sit by the Students Lamp and
READ h.s ScT,bEer.s, that was Just when
Lutte wanted 10 hammer the Piano. and
DO. her whole RoUerJOlrs. But when thew.
really wanted her TO sing before Com
TaEy b. was Ike pulling Teeth. She would
hang back and have 10 De CoaNed. II
She didn't have Sore Throat. then the
Piano was out OF Tune. or else she had
l"it her Notes al the Studio, or maybs
che just couldn't sing without an Accom-
PIANIST. But after they had Pleaded hard
enough, and every body was embarrassed
aul sorry they had come, she would
SauEteg toward the Piano timidly and
sort u tFlne with 10 for awhile. and say
they would have TO make allowances
ard then she would Cut Loose and worry
the whole Block.
The Company would sit there wearing
the ParLoT Face and after she got
through lhey would come To and tell her
AoH Good she was.
She made 20 many OF these Drawing
Room Hi,s with the Friends Of the Fam
liy That there vas no Holding her Sn,
billed herself as "a Nightingale. Often he
volunteered her Services al Soirees and
cub Entertainments. and nowhere did she
meet with q True Friend 10 take her aside
zEd tell her that her voice was all right
81 she wouldn't Try 10 sing with H.
No. Lnue never got out u hes Dream
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
COULDN'T EJECT The WIDOW.
Her Big New o IndInn nd Too Many for the
| OEieer.
linaen ChrnrInlA

From the Chicago Chronicle.
The discontinue OF a landlord by a
widow and her big Newfoundland doe de-
lighted jewellers on Dearborn avenue. he
tween Michigan and Indiana streets. YES
terday. The landlord owns several flats
on the west side Of the street ane wished
TO lease the ground floor OF one for sa-
loon. He was baked however. by q
clause in the Widows lease Aceompanied
by pseudo constable wearing a tin star
or size intended TO strike terror TO anv
ordinary woman, ne assembled the stairs
70 the tenants apartment and told her he
had come 10 eject her for n-paymen.
OF rent.
Sic EN-, Bruno yelled the widow. and
scarcely were the words spoken before the
NeWioundland WIS upon the intruders
VINO had not advanced far from the head
C. the stairs. At the END of a moment Of
wild confusion, during which a few bites
We're distributed by the canine guardian.
the two men rolled headlong in pictur-
esque CONFUSION TO the bottom of the
steps, whence they retreated TO the near
est drug store and called for arnica.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
The Old DRrky Broke IL Gently.
Ernm Tie 81 Louis Republie.

From the ST Louis Republic
When Thomas T. Crittenden was gov
ernor Of Missouri he had a colored hostleT
who always stood much In awe OF his EN-
plOyeF. one OF his traits was that he was
unduly apologize about tTifies: but one
night when the governors fayor.Ie horse
died the old negro was in q dire dilemma
and the case apparently was beyond the
mans power OF palliatiOn. He wandered
airnlessiy a bout the stable yard for a long
tine. fearing 10 break the news to MS
employer Finally he mustered sufficient
courage 10 approach the governor When
be had turned his hat around several
times in his hands and had swallowed
equally a. often. he said;
Guy ner, that yere black boss o yours
amt a-gOin' 10 live berry long" The gov
ernor looked IN surprise and asked.
What makes you think that, Beng'
''Kase he am dead" the negro said. Ia
eOnically-
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
BULLETIN BUBBLES
om he Philas.l5hia Bgllstia.

Prom lie Philadelphia BgIletIn.
Under hFe-doEu IN the furnace.
The shoplifteF AUST have asrysa a seal
hsiiFold handa regard TIE gzy traia a. an ne.
csnmDdstioE."
some people would Stare If they had {. live On
tsed for thought
The mermaid IS q girl xbo has 10 u.s ,sr =.
Saterprosf
The bell boy Is not exactly soldisriy. .l,hsash
he zoss 20 the --Fro1ts''
When the esnntbsI esichss missionary. hs con-
siaen him "a good taiag'
Il does sem Il baak o1eiain ought 70 a.
knsSledgs the sf1eisncy q female ''tsIIsrs"
II nan Ia h0uss of clay TIE topper kao~. VIA,
u Is 70 have 4 full hsuss
In EheelsriEhE'a eosssaiisr tkers should -
no trouble N hndlng Spokesman.
The aired EiFl has re fear n shoFteslaK hsr LIE
u ffsgusntiy taxing dag o.
TIE motto Of ssEle unruiy chlessa s.sns 70 b
''Neve- mind"
some one suggests that Ne EFits II. "A kiss "a
tbs lips i wsrth two On the cheek"
tailor doesn't Eest Fogsity sFsry tine be faces
Prince AIbeTt-
Even vhsa the Ssn.sE pat On their most esesl-
lsts gowns thsy oOssssF themselves 'ersssss for
The eeezsl0n."'
When two bind people fan in love. thsy AZ
change ssarls ''gnslsA; aaa Ensss1~
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
The Modern
Fable of Lutte.


Until she made bold sashay with Con-
cert Company. 1t was her Professional
Debut. Father fixed IL up for her. ne
Bfibed TIE Manager
The idea Of anybody paying Good Mon
ey % hear Lutte sing struck Father as
being almost good enough % Print But
be knew that she wouldn't b Happy IN
81 she gOt it-and she Got II right Were
the Newport Lady wears the Rope Of
Pearls.
On the First Might the mean old Crit
les who didn't know Father or Mother
and had never been entertained at the
House, came and got IN the front row and
def.ed Lutte 70 come on and Make Good
Next morning they said that Lutte had
B.0w-Holes ia her voice. tha; she hit the
key only once during the Agony and then
fell OF backward. that she was a Ham.
and her Dress didn't it her and she lack
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
wait Rain, ga, TO Tr, on HATS.

From the New Orleans Tines Democrat.
A great way this for testing the becom-
ingness OF anything New Orleans girl
in mind always waits for the yet. murky
warm day upon which TO select her hats
Most OF us befrizZ ourselves before under
taking the ordeal OF selection and putting
on hats getting a rather biased effect on
our appearance. IF ] can look well Ia a
hat on a day when nv head Is a razoF-
back, with its quilts OF straight hair, the
hats a good one, and ! know that I'll al
ways look Well IN Il and a perfect dream
when my hair viii keep In curl"
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
REFLECTIONS or = BACHELOR.

FEoE the NeE Y5Fk Pres
No woman ear resist long falling in love win
man that can haks her think &c has Eot some
mysteT1 about hin
ven ie~ women ever refer 70 3 brby by lis
proper aaI2s. They call u = we newcomer or
something romantic lac that
4 Hlan never taxes the public iato BIS confidence
sbost DE gneeEci0tles. but even Tie l.19--.--.
e.fls VII scar eolored ribbon strung Ia the ascks
OF the thi1gz tbsy sezr uad.r1esff
"onisn seEr EretIy uldercistnes t.lee in rt.s.
.iFes-the hrsi seek after tteY sre born sB5 ~
AIl Sfrs after tLey arr E.zuied Both tines ~,
poor mothers make thea for fiieia
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
TdE CHINESE LANGUAGE IS LOGICAL.
Ii Is Exceedingly simple When You I'm.
deTsTand the Characters.


dersTand the Characters.
From the Ladies' Home Journal
Every word in the Chinese language has
logical reason for its existence and Pc
culiar formation. and each word consists
of either one individual character or a
number OF them combined in order to
make a complete word Take the word
field, square divided into sections or
lots When the word man is written bv
the word field the combination makes the
word farmer Indicating the avoCation of
man who Is associated with fields ana
agriculture Sui more suggestive Is the
Chinese word for truth, sincerity, faith
fulness. honesty. Ii is formed by the
combination of d man and word thus eX-
pressing that one form of honesty con-
sists in man standing by his word The
v ord for box is indicated by square haV-
ing four sides OF equal length, while a
prisoner is literally a man in q box. a
fact which Is often grewsOmely illustrated
in China when a criminal is sentenced TO
death ard is carried 10 the place Of exc
cutiOn in a square box.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
why Not Tr, ThIs In America,

From The Eagle and the Serpent London.
Ia common with others, sc feel that
there are a good many People living who
ought 60 pass on 20 their reward Ne
AK our readers 10 submit list Of twelve
living men who ought 10 commit suicide
Tie editor has not the slightest personal
objection 10 heading the list The reader
VINO submits the list nearest tho average
HlI receive this paper iOg years post tree.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
tn. ~srsassas Tile.

Prov ths Ss~ Ysfs weekly.
New Reporter tlisrd 0atl-ro-day Is Sat
urday. and you knoa that ihis State nos
has a Saturday half-holdaY i8w WHICH
City Editor--By links. 1 nearly forgot
st. Rush out and get up q hye-c0lu 'na
article on how The day Il being oessr. cd
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
The six Nation. VILLAGE.

II may surprise many readers 10 lear
that within thirIy miles Of the rre,,ga
CT the Pan-AmeTican Exposition. in ggg-
iaio. ias dances and other pagan cerelno.
nies Of the Indians o. the Iroquols cor.
feceraey are prscileed much as they vs,.
when what Ia aow known as the Niasara
frontier was. 50 far az the white MAJ
Was concerned. wilderness unknown ana
unsxplofsa- Among The pagan remnants
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-10-09
The Price.


Frsn Life
N0dG-It took me an hour yesterday 70
convince my wife tha; / was right
Todd-You succeeded, theag
"oh, yes but she hasn't spoken to me
since"
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1900-12-31
RoUoHNEcK CALCULATES.
Figures Out Old Eagle Eyes Estima'
of His Own Ttulsh

Figures Out Old Eagle Eyes Estimate
OF His Own Finish.
A switchman out OF q Job dropped
down In El Paso not long ago. look
ing for work. He was a reckless look
ing specimen and bmnt-spoken-a ty-
pical ''rough-neck."
There was a funeral procession pass
lng the crossing az he stood talking
20 a couple OF railroad men.
who's soin' 20 the graveyardf" he
asked irreverantly.
"Bill smith," was the reply
Who's Bill SMITH" was the NEXT
query
Guess you don't know Bln sEhth.
He was one OF the oldest engineers In
town. stranger. u must be over twen-
ty years he's pulled train out o. here.
Everybody round here knows old Bill
Smith. He's got the biggest funeral
ever given any man in this town.
Roughneck watched the long line OF
carriages moving slowly up the street
a moment. The line extended four
blocks down the street. with more
coming around the corner. He shifted
his tobacco. and taking q shot at q
spike in the opposite rail tnat started
a flood down the crossite. exclaimed:
''Humphl Know whatd happen n
that oil eagle-eye should wake up7 II
he'd ait up and take a look around
the curve at the drag he's puilin.' he'd
throw her over. call brakes. cut and
double up the hill. That's what he'd
do"
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1900-12-31
BRITISH DEFEAT +!
Helvetia Garrison Cap
tured by Beers.
Gov. Murphy Going to Wash
lngton for Arizona.
The Emperor Of China Has Accepted
All the Demands.
COLE WEATHER IN COLORADO.

London. Dec. Si.-Ths war once has
received the following dispatch from
Lord Kitchener: Pretoria, Dec. 3o.-
General Littleton reports our post at
Helvetia captured yesterday morning
by Beers. About Atty were killed and
wounded, and 200 taken prisoners. Col.
Kitchener reports that he is following
with a small force in track OF the enc
my, Helvetia being reoccupied by
Reeves. who has been reinforced from
Belfast. Helvetia was a very strong
position on the Mschadodorp- Ly nden-
berg railway, held by a detachment of
the Liverpool regiment. Am asking
for further information"
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1900-12-31
PESNsYLvAsIA Politics.
Republicans and Fusionists Are wrang-
ling over Organization.

Harrisburg, Pa, Dec. n.--House
democrats and anti-Quay republicans
held separate caucuses at II o'clock TO-
day to discuss plans for fusion on or
ganization OF the house. Should fusion
be effected, II is regarded probable that
Gen. Vim. ii. Koontz, an anti-ouay
republican. VIII be a candidate for
speaker. Insurance Commissioner Dur
ham, a stalwart republican leader, this
morning said that the stalwar.s would
organize the senate and house and Col.
Quay would BE- elected United states
senator on the first ballot without the
aid Of a single democrat. Senator Da-
vid Martin. anti-Quay republican. and
National Committeeman Guffey. were
lust as positive that fusionlsts would
organize the house. to prevent Quays
election Committee OF democratic
members waited upon Senator Wash
burn, populist. to-day, and asked him
II the report that he would attend the
republican caucus and be bound by It's
action, was correct. The senator said
he would. Indications are that Col.
Guffey vii be the choice OF the demo-
cracy for senator.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1900-12-31
AFTER THE KIDNAPERs.
Big Rewards win Be offered for Cor
viction of Cudahy KidnaPers-

Big Rewards win Be offered for Con-
viction OF Cudahy Kidnapers.
Omaha, Neb. Dec. I.-Mayor
Moores to-day made the following
statement:
bullets or no bullets, intend to OF
fer a reward for the arrest OF the Gu
dahy kldnapers. That last letter from
the kidnapers puts such serious
coloring on the case II is not right to
expect Mr.. cudahy to continue his Of
fer of $4,000 reward for the arrest and
conviction of the men who stole his
boy,
II have wired the governor. urging
him 70 offer a reward. A special meet
ing OF the council has been called for
this afternoon TO consider the advisab-
ility of appropriating $4,000 for any
person who may bring about the con
viction OF the kidnapers. The county
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1900-12-31
A BENIGHTED HUNTER.
Unsasiness Caused by Rev. Giadney' Who
Was Away on Hunt.


Great excitement reigned throughout
the city last night for an hour or more.
1t was announced that Rev. L. l..
Glsdney. pastor of the Methodist
church, was lost in the Carrizo noun
tAlns, and searching parties were or
ganized and sent out In every direc-
ton 20 ind him. Rev. Gladney's horse
got away from him during the day
and left him to return home on foot
which threw him two hours later get
ting home than he told his family he
would return. Many expected some
accident had happened to the minister
Some that he had accidentally shot
himself, or had fallen on the rocks and
had sustained injuries which disabled
him. etc. However. about o'clock he
returned home on foot. as tired and
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1900-12-31
Cho.tnU Chinese.

Berlin, Dec. S1.-Count Won walder-
see reports to the war office under
date OF Pekin. Dec. 25: The Chinese
who fed south were pursued by a
squadron TO Sc Kien. 100 kllometers
southwest OF Pekin, where the Chinese
scattered. Grueberg's column seized
great quantities OF munitions. quick
firing and Krupp guns. Mauser rifles,
etc. at Selma Chet, twenty-one kilo-
meters east OF Paoti Hsien, which was
abandoned b the fleeing Chinese.