New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1900-06-06
THE CENSUS MAN.

THE CENSUS MAN
Are you ready for the census?
Have you studied your ancestors
For dozen cycles back?
Have you counted freckles?
For you know you'll have to tell 'em
When the census man begins.
Have you added up the children?
Have you figured up your cash?
Did you find button
Are you Gld deaf ff of fq bn6 6e of n na9
Do you toe out in?
All of this you'll have to answer
When the census man begins.
Do you lisp or squint or stanmer?
Ever had the whooping cough?
Are you handy with the hammer?
Ever do a stunt at golf?
Are you fond, of rcheckered neckties?
Ever fall and bark your shins?
Did you swear? You'll have to tell IT
When the census man begins.
-(The Bismarck Tribune.
The police of Paris earned wonderful reputation
for courage a short time ago. A wild beast thew
reported, that had bitten untold numbers was
wandering about the streets The ravages COM
mitted by the creature might have been ncalcu-
BILE had not two gendarmes rushed in and de-
stroyed the monster with their swords. The mon
ster now appears to have been a poor frightened
armadillo.
His Strategy.-'T am going to sea," the young
The young girl gasped. 20, Harry-er-N1r Tim
Then he knew what he had feared to ask in so
lam am going to see'.he repeated-."your father
she fell upon his Observation-Disclosures Press
The German Emperor has commanded the cele-
bration Of the Tooth anniversary of the first mining
operations in Germany. These were begun in the
Harz Mountains, the principal minerals being sill
yer and copper. The Emperor himself will at
tend the celebrations which will take place at
Hettstedt, in Saxony. where the first mine is said
to have been opened, and will also visit Eisleben a
large copper mining centre, where Martin Luther
whose father miner there. was born
Blarney.-Tommy Caught in the acD-I-I nust
say, gran'ma that these preserves is Jest like the
ones mother useter make.-(Brooklyn Life.
Engineers several of the big Western lines
are preparing to lead a campaign against the use
Of more than one engine in the drawing OF a train
The main objections to double headers" are that
they increase liability to accidents In which the
engineers of the second engines almost always
killed. and that the dust and cinders are esneciaIv
injurious TO the eyes of the crews of the second
engine.
She-How happy you must be.
She-You're in love with yourself and without
rival on earth.-(The King.
The Spanish Minister of Fine Arts wishes to have
the country provide a subsidy of $40 900 wear for
national theatre. and King George of Creeca
in Athens, Both countries are poor but can afford
theatres bettep than war the outlay being less and
the return. though intangible. more likely to he
found advantageous.
Teacher (suspiciously)-Who wrote your compost
Johnny-My father.
What, all Of it?'"
Nom; l helped him. -CTruth
As a result of a quarrel some chickens
which refused TO lay eggs. residents of Corey-
Vile. Kan, have become involved in a remarkable
lawsuit Jason Brophy the plaintiff AYERS that
his neighbor. Needham Weeks presented him ten
hens and roosters in February last and as
sured him that the hens would lay upward of sixty
eggs a week. Brophy fed and cared for the chick
for ten weeks. 'devoting most of his time TO
them, to the letrlment of other interests" but
the hens failed to lay any eggs The plaintiff al
leges that he unlawfully deceived by the de-
PENDANT and seeks to recover slO0 damages for his
wasted labor and for his expenditures for chicken
feed.
A Bargain.-Nowtt-Tve got United States
dollar of 1927 I'd like TO dispose of What's it
Numsma distributing
Nowitt-That so? 1 thought there was pre-
Numismatist-No There are lots of them in cir.
eulation. However seeing it's you. I'll give you
Nowitt An right. I'll take it-(Catholic Standard
and Times.
Kansas City young woman who is going away
for the summer, has announced the fact to her nu-
merous young men admirers with the added note:
IF you have anything to say speak early and
avoid the rush
on the hurricane deck of the ark do you ever
think OF going into politics.
head out of the mizzen- to- gallan sail III did
think the floating vote would be all ia have TO
And silence brooded the space of the waters
while, while JaPhet tried to figure out what his papa