The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1900-04-20
HUMoR OF THE DAY.
Little George QueSes His Father on
Philanthropy.

Phllaitropy.
at was Lucky Thing fer Colum.
bus that He Come Over here and dis
cuvered this country when He did"
paw Sed when we was Gathered
around the family Surcle mite Before
last
"Why?" NAV asst Him.
"Becos," paw Told Her, eff Emmy
budy Come over Here looken fer a
place to land now Do you no what
Would Happen? J. Peerpon Morgan
Would Be thare when the Crate Dis
cuverer pulled up to the dock and say:
I Halt to Be harsh with you. Chris,
But this belongs to sin dycate what
l have jist formed, and if you want
to Tie Rope to the Western hemas-
feer you Got to pay the skeydool
price,"
who is j. Peerpont Morgan?" nav
asst. II Think herd that name Some
WHARF Before"
He is the man who let's God press
the Button" paw Told her, "and he
Does the rest. He blows the Whissel
fer the peepul of this country in the
mornen and shuts the Gates at mite.
He owns millyun doller yot and Has
privut car and Cant eat Sweet things
Becos thay make Him too Fat, that's
who He is. Every mite when He goes
to Bed he neels Down and prays:
Now Lay me Down to sleep
Il formed Anuther trust today
pray the Lord my sole to keep
Give Got anuther under way;
II l should Die Before l wake
Qll Git it thru without Doubt)
pray the Lord my sole to Take
(And bar all other people Quit.
my Sakes," NAV Says, 'it's jist
turrable, amt it? l wunder what
makes him Do it? | should Think
He would Ruther Take a vacashun fer
a while and Let Sumbuddy else try to
Run the Firth fer few weeks jist to
See If thay could Do it,"
WELL" paw Says, I'll tell you How
It Is. He Don't think it Would be rite.
You See, He is a philantherpist.
Every few Days He gives a Horse
pittle or a morfen asylum to Sum-
buddy what neads one in THAR Bisz-
ness. If he Woulden't keap maken
a million Every week er two How
could He do Sich kind deeds fer the
poor?"
WELL" NAV Says, "mebby that
mite Be So, after all. So we Ottent to
to Blame him too Harsh"
NO" paw anserd. Il spose the pee
pie what would Git Sum of the mummy
If He wasent Taken it all mite Look
after the orfuns and Bid the Horse
pittles IL thay Had a Chanel, and
now mebby Sum of them need it
Themselfs. But How does He no?
He Can't take no Chances BY lettin
people Run things on thare own Hook.
Even if He does keep Gettin Richer
Takin in Five boilers what other
folks Can hardly Spair and givin away
thirty sents of it to Help the Sick and
the Orfuns. When a man is Filan-
therpist he can't Set around lettin
other people give away what thay
think thay kin afford. He hast to
Take it away frum them and Divide
1t Up amung the Poor and Keep about
ninety ate pur sent fer His trubble."
"Well," nav told him, 81 Don't see
stitch a man GIFTS emmy rest Out of Life.
l should think he Would Be worried
all the Time fer fear the Bank mite
fale and He Would Loose the MUMMY"
Before paw got Chanel to tell us
emmy More about it little Albert Come
in and sed the pupp was Haven Fite
with Morton's Dawg in the alley.
Paw beat me to the Dore by Neck,
and | guess He would of Got to the
fife furst too only the man what was
putten in Coal fer the Hendersons
turned Around the Corner with His
Wheal Barra jist as paw Got thare
Coin the Other way.
When l Reached the place the Man
had one Arm Loose and paw Was
tryin to Git the Handle of the Wheal
Barra often His Neck. Both of Them
was Spitten Coal out in the alley and
Lettin it Go to Waste. GEORGE.
in Chicago Times Herald.