The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1900-08-01
JOBSON AT VIOLIN.
He Thought Ho Was An Expert
in Producing Tones.

When Mr.. Jobson got home from his
Office one afternoon about a month ago,
he carried under his arm a long, coffin
like leather case, which he deposited with
great care on top of the piano
''Why, it's a fiddler exclaimed Mrs.
Jobson.
Wrong, as usual" said Mr.. Jobson
amiably you've another guess COM
ing. However, as 1t is not within the
range Of probability that you'd guess
correctly if you had a million coming I'll
just tell you what this is, Mrs. Jobson.
It's violin"
isn't that what T.
''No, Mrs Jobson, that isn't what you
said You said it was a fiddle"
What are you going to do with it?"
inquired Mrs. Jobson.
Well replied Mr. Jobson, with great
delberation, "I'm not going to kill it for
its hide and tallow, and I'm not going to
use it for kindling to light the kitchen
fire with. beg to inquire, Mrs Jobson,
what people who buy violins generally do
with 'em =
Try to play on them, I suppose" re-
piled Mrs. Jobson meekly.
TRY to play on 'em, eh?" said Mr..
Jobson, with the accent on the "try"
"Just you hang on to your sarcasm until
you need it. I've bought this violin to
play on"
But" said Mrs. Jobson, ST never
knew that you played the
I'm quite aware of that, Mrs Jobson,''
said Mr.. Jobson, fondling his purchase as
affectionately as if it had been an heir
loom and taking it to the window the bet
ter to examine its points" II may re-
mark incidentally that there are a whole
heap of things that you don't know, Mrs.
Jobson. I'm not in the habit of climbing
out on the caves and parading my accom-
plishments, like some people I've heard
tell Of, Mrs. Jobson. / may inform you,
however, that when you were wearing
dresses down to your shoe tops and be-
fore you'd begun to tuck your back hair
up under your hat I was able to saw on a
violin to make folks that heard me weep
or laugh at will
did you ever" exclaimed Mrs Job
son. "Then why have you never played
since we were mar
Because it's kept me too busy trying
to keep a home over your head, Mrs.
Jobson, that's why" said Mr.. Jobson.
I'm going to take it up again now, how
ever, and in about a month from date
there'll be some music around these parts
that'H hurt the suburban resorts by keep
ing all of our neighb0rs for blocks around
on their front stoops at night. You'll
accompany me on the piano. I'm going
to practice up by myself for few weeks
and then the Jobson parlor concerts viii
begin. / don't claim to be any Ysaye or
Joachim or Marteau or Sarasate or any
thing like that, Mrs Jobson, but if there
was any old thing I used to be able to do
better than another before my plunge
into matrimony made it imperatively nee
essary for me to toll and moil and slave
day and night in order to get and keep
home together, why, it was playing the
violin, that's ALL
The next evening Mr.. Jobson brought
home violin and piano collection in two
sections. The collection was made up al
most entirely of such choice classics as
"Champagne Charley mot For joe"
''Up In Balloon" Maggie May "Sil-
very Waves" "Down In Coal Nine"
'Elin Waltz" "Ten Thousand Miles
Away and other concertos Of the sort
that We're popular in the days of Mr..
Jobsons youth.
"Just you practice up the piano ac-
compartments" said Mr.. Jobson to Mrs.
Jobson handing her the piano part of the
classic collection, "and III go into train
ing in the spare room up in the attic for
a few weeks. and when I get into form
wen play these things together and make
the neighbors jealous"
For about three weeks Mr.. Jobson re-
paired to the attic room Immediately
after dinner, closed the door tight, got
out his 500 Cremona and performed
thereon until nearly midnight. He put
a mute on the strings to drown the effect
of his practicing, but for all that the cal
lous world win never know what Mrs.
Jobson suffered. Mr.. Jobson ignored
the sharps and flats altogether IN prac-
ticing and, as for time he was probably
of the opinion that time was made for
slaves. Mrs. Jobson dreaded the hour
when Mr. Jobson should demand her to
accompany him on the piano.
1t came one evening last week, when
Mr. Jobson brought his cigar store Gre
mona down stairs from the attic, opened
up the collapsible music stand and an
nounced to Mrs Jobson that the concert
would begin by q rendition of Mendels-
sohn's Spring Song" by the famous
and notorious Jobson family, who had
played before crowned heads bunko
steerers, porch climbers, etc.
Here the veil had better be drawn.
They hadn't been playing Mendessohn's
'Spring Song" more than two and one
half minutes before the gang of small
| boys began to assemble in front of the
Jobson homestead and to indulge in cat
calls Mr.. Jobson didn't hear the tumut
before his door at first. He was too busy
telling Mrs. Jobson that she didn't know
any more about playing piano accom-
paniments than she did about glass blow
ing; that she was all out of time, etc.
When the crowd in front of the Jobson
mansion had increased to about a hum
bred and odd, however, Mr. Jobson
couldn't help but hear the delighted yens
and shrieks and catcalls that came
In through the wide open front windows.
He stopped abruptly, laid down his VIC
lin, went to one Of the windows and look
ed out, pulled down the curtains and then
walked back and regarded Mrs. Jobson,
10