The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1900-08-10

coed in anything.
Jinks-Thcrc's one good thing about
spoiled children. Binks-What's that?
J!nkS-One never has them in ones
own house.
Il don't see ,:';>at you like about this
flat, Clara. swell, Clarence. it is the
only one we've looked at that fits our
Navajo rug. '-Chicago Record.
A false front: Pa, our new dog is
awful dceitful." How, Tommy"
''Nhy, when he barks at people he
wags his tall -Chicago Record.
your composition, Johnny: Johnny
My father. Teacher-What. all of it?
Johnny-\o'm; helped him-Truth.
Fair Painter-I hope you don't mind
my SkrtchinS in your field: Farmer
lcrd. no. missile. You keep the birds
Oft the peas bptter'n n ordinary scare
crow.
"Surc. Pat, and why t!e We wearin'
yer coat buttonru up lu;kr that ON Il
warm day loike lhiS:' .'Fai1h. yer riv-
| rrrn'r to hoidc the shirt Oi haven't y>t
on" --punch.
"\oW, honestly. Maud, didn't Jack
propose last evening" "Why. y-e-r-S.
Eut how did YOU guess" Il noticed
| that YOU didn't have that worried look
this nlurniny.''
N'A! Cruelty: "Oh> mummy. do come
ANA speak to Johnny: hes tW,'adinC on
all the worms in tn" GARDEN" How
Cnkinl" Eyes. and ne won't let NE
tW":h on any, The King.
Ni>i1or-Wh:1 WAS the matter with
the man they just brought in: Doctor
Stuck his head through Il pane Of glass
Visitor How cid Er look: jnr1or-~ll.s
fac" wore an injured expression.
Curious Nilla=rr-.\y. Sandy, an ::e
wis wounded 1T Navtr>Iunttin: Whit
wis Hr struck VII: Sandy ttirtu Of an
| s"erin@ uueStionS)-l WAS struck WI
wander when kent | Wisna killed.
Evidence: Friend >':pro>r the
! baby is fond Of You: papa-Fonu OF
me: Why, h" sleeps Ill day when I'm
not at home. and stays up AL night just
Ma=iStratt~-Do YOU mean to say such
| 4 physical wreck as he is gave YOU
that black eye: Complaining Wife,
Shurr. yer worship. he wasn't 4 phH>i-
cal wreck till he gave ne tn black
eye.
'Iapa." said Willie, "why did yuu
buy 4 golf roat: ''To play golf in my
SON. said Mr. Willis Did YOU need
it, "Of course ! did, "Then need
topcoat to play tops in. l seen 'em
advertiscd.'
Teacher (end"avorinG TO explain the
meaning Of the word ''harneSs" )-What
does your father put on the horse:
Small Boy (hiS face hriyltcniny,-
Please. sir. e puts on all e can if e
thinks it'll win.
At the Summer Hotel: "WEo is that
GOO>l-lOOkiNy Young waiter who is toss.
ing the plates across the room? Is he
I, student. tOo:' ''ItS. He holds the
record in lIarva!e for discus throWin3"
cleveland Plain Dealer
\ Natural Reaction: Hi Tragedy
was very cold: Lowe Comertly-Thpy
were 1T first. but when they began 10
rrroll'ct that they had paid good money
| to see the show they got hOt.-phiaupl-
phia Press
E;slmar!iS Of Literary Ability: Did
that critic write any favorable con-
mrnt on your novel, Erlinua:' On. yc::
he said my father had once met tie
Prince Of Wales and that we ha, al
ways moved in the best socirty"-ln-
lnnapolS journal.
\ Feminine Butter: And low, Chill
dlrn." said III" teacher, who had brcu
tallliny ;>D>ilt military Notifications.
"cHn any Of YOU tell me what is Il but
:r">>:" "llr:;Sr, ma am" cried little
Willie, Swapping his fingers Its Il
nanny goat: - Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. BroWn-I must be going back 10
the city ut once; I've had three letters
from my husband in two days. Mrs.
Gray-Why, you poor dear! l know
just how you feel; two would be su<pi-
ciou>ly attentive--but three. l really
am afraid he las been doing something
very reprehensi bic. -Brocklyn Life.
The following birth notice recently
appeared in the columns of a Kansas
paper: Born, TO the wife of Jim Jones,
a boy. The boy favors his old dad in
several ways, viz: He is bald, has {,
red nose, takes to a bottle like bum
blebee TO lump Of sugar, and makes a
lot Of noise about nothing. Selah:"-
Exchange.
The Nirtuous Clerk: Sign your name
here" said the chief conspirato-, "and
the money will be paid you at once"
Sooner than let my good right hand
sign that Ubiquitous document" SAID
the virtuous government clerk, Il
would cut it off! But, fortunately, l
am left-handed." And he signed it.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
An old gentleman wanted to catch Il
certain train, but before he had got to
the station the train had started Hi,
hi: party of sixty wants to como OH
IL;