davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
WEARING EYEGLASSES.
The Knaclk Of Balancing Them Pro
erly on the No.e

The Knack of Balancing Them Prom.
erly on the Nose.
A young man who had purchased q
pair Of eyeglasses at 4 local opticians
the other day was complaining to the
clerk that he couldn't keep them on.
"They are continually falling off," he
said, land are really getting to be a
first class nuisance. Don't you think it
would help things If you frightened up
the spring little?"
''No. l wouldn't advise you to alter
the SPRING" replied the clerk. Its SO
tight now that it is soaring your nose.
If you'll only be patient for a few
days, think you'll learn to wear these
glasses all right. Come in at the end
of the week, and If you are still having
trouble with them I'll fit you out with
pair of spectacles."
What do you mean by learning to
wear those eyeglasses?" asked a man
who happened to be standing within
earshot after the customer had walked
out. "Is it trick that has to be ac-
quired by practice?"
Certainly it is." replied the clerk.
wearing eyeglasses is something that
has to be learned, just like riding a b.
cycle-in fact, the comparison is pretty
good, because both are simply feats of
balancing. The shape Of the nose has
very little to do with It," continued the
clerk, "and isn't worth taking into con-
sideration in selecting pair of glass
es. But II man has nose like the
prov Of an armored cruiser + couldn't
make eyeglasses stay there at first at
tempt. Until he acquired the knack of
keeping them in place by balance they
would be falling off every time he
made a sudden movement, no matter
how tightly he screwed up the spring.
Once the trick is mastered, however,
there is no further trouble. People
who wear eyeglasses habitually and
who may be regarded as experts keep
the spring very loose. The glasses rest
on the bridge Of the nose as lightly as
feather, but, they never come off.
once saw nearsighted man fall down
two flights of stairs and get up with
his glasses still firmly in place. How
is it done? Dear me, don't know!
How do people learn to walk the tight
?-New Orleans Times Democrat
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
His Free Library.

A Main street secondhand book.
store was the scene of an amusing lit.
tie comedy the other day. A ragged
urchin, who had crept in unnoticed
pulled dog cared book with a gilded
title Of love and adventure from the
rack and, after lingering it for a mo.
ment, became Immediately absorbed in
the thrilling tale.
When the bookseller caught sight of
his impecunious visitor. his first i'm.
pulse was to chase the boy away. On
second thought, however. he left the
youthful reader to his pleasure. AT
length the time for closing came
around, and the old man set about
bolting the shutters.
The noise awoke the urchin from his
dream. He lingeringly closed the book
and. siding up to the proprietor. asked
with all the assurance of his gutter
training, "Say, mister, what time dyer
open morrer?'-Hartford Telegram.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
Addressed the Jury.

A man who had never seen the in.
side of a courtroom until he was intro
duced as witness in case pending
in one Of the Scottish courts. on being
sworn took position with his back
to the Jury and began telling the story
to the Judge.
The Judge. in q bland and courteous
manner, said:
address yourself to the Jury, sir"
The man made short pause. but,
Notwithstanding what had been said
to him. continued his narrative.
The Judge was then more explicit
and said to him: "Speak to the jury,
sir. the men sitting behind you on the
benches"
The witness at once turned around
and making an awkward bow said
with perfect gravity:
"Good morning. gentlemen."-Buffalo
1Courier.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
THE ENoAa'EMENT RlNa.

Fso1ltaf Ways In Which II c.uae.
= 1Sa1g Wo0aA to Act.
DID ynu ever have q chance to oh.
serve, :nebserved, q young woman's
conduct toward her newly aconired en-.
sagement ringa
II feels SO strange upon her; hand
tnat she cannot refrain from examin.
ing It q dozen times an hour, always.
however. on the sly. On the first nieht
she sits up an hour later than usual to
admire 1t boldly in the seclusion of her
own apartment. A frequent kiss is ad-
ministered to the shining band and it,
ghttering gem, and during the night
she dreams that 1t has fallen into a
stream and awakes clutching the fin.
ger to assure herself that the precious
pledge is still secure.
Then. on the following day, she wears
1t only In secret. taking care to trans.
fer 1t to her pocket at table and when
In the company Of intimates, but place
her among strangers or among casual
acquaintances who cannot be inuuisi-
tive. and how bravely will she flaunt
the token before their eyes, as one who
should say:
Il may not be the loyeliest creature
In the world, but you will observe that
have landed my fish,"
Gradually it assumes its place in her
daily life. and her bushes grow less
violent with each succeeding explana.
ton OF Its significance and each ex-
travagant description of its donors at
tributes. But before it finally becomes
q part of herself, as it were, she must,
of course, leave 1t a dozen times at
least upon the washstand and suffer in
consequence dozen violent attacks of
palpftatton of the heart until it Is re.
covered.-London Answers.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
THEY DYE THEIR scALPs.

For Beauty After the Head Has Reen
\ Shaved Perfectly Smooth.
+ A French explorer has discovered
the vainest people in the world. By q
curious coincidence they happen to be
also the ugliest. They are the Pa
houins. savage tribe Of the western
coast of Africa. The main occupation
*of these people is the adornment of
their persons. AS the Pahouin's cloth.
Ing ts Of so light character as not to
incommode him he bestows a good
share Of his thought upon the adorn.
ment OF his body. which he tattoos in
elaborate designs done in red or blue
Or more fanciful effect is obtained
by tattooing in relief by injecting un-
derneath the skin the Juice Of q plant
which produces permanent swelling.
Sometimes the face and body are also
tinted with dye, red being the color
most in demand.
The same methods are used in adorn-
ing the face, especial attention being
given to the nose. Many Of the Pa
houins after tattooing or painting their
noses pierce them with long. slender
bones. Others after piercing the nose
attach to it string Of colored pearls.
Both men and women concentrate
their efforts on their hair. Their inge-
Ruity, which is shown in the construc-
hon Of scores of different headdresses
Of bone and metal for the men of the
tribe. chiefly the warriors, is illustrated
) in far greater degree by the coiffures
of the women.
The extreme Of simplicity in the Pa
houin women's method in making
themselves beautiful is to shave the
head till 1t is smooth and round as q
ball and then to color it with q dye
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
A Catalogue.

'Miss Mary" said the sable maiden,
eve 'spect to have an en'tainment at
| our chu'ch mex week, and I got to
speak piece. was Jest goin to asst
you II you had a book with some oh
them pieces INF"
"Why. yes. Dora, I have book Of
recitations. What kind Of a piece do
you wantY'
"Well. l was thinkin OBJ somep'n in
de nature OBJ a catalogue"
"A whatT'
"a catalogue-yo know. a piece with
one person a-talkin and mother one
answerin 'em back. Has you got a
piece like dat? I'd like it fust rate."-
New York Tribune.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
NOTICE OF EXPIRATION OF THE TIME

NOTICE OF EXPIRATION OF THE TIME
~ OF Redemption. Office Of County
Auditor. Richland County, ND
To unknown In whose name the following
described land Is assessed:
You are hereby notified that on the 9TH day
of December A. D.. 1897. the following sle.
scribed real estate. situated in said county.
to-wit: Lots 14-l5-18l7.1s.19 1920 2l-29-2S.24 and
ss. block l, Riverside Addition to wahpeton,
was sold for taxes due thereon for the year
1876 as provided by law. that the amount for
which the same was sold was a 20, that the
time of redemption from said sale. allowed
by law. will cxprc on tho 2sth day of Dccem-
her 1900, or within ninety days after the pub
lication of this notice. That the amount
required to redeem said land from said sale is
seven 15lGo dollars In addition to the
amount above stated, as necessary to redeem
from said sale. the cost OF publication of this
notice must he paid. together with such IN
terest as may accrue from and after this date.
In witness whereof have hercuntO set my
hand aud seal ut Wahpeton, in said county of
Rtchland, this 4th day Of Sept. 1900.
lSEAL. NJ. A. WIPPERMAN.
County Auditor, Richland Co, N. D.
(First Pub. Sept. 9. l90O.)
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
Jurgen & Formaneck are sell
ng not hing but reliable goods in
clothing, gents furnishing goods
and shoes. All going at bottom
nricea
NOTICE OF MoRraAGE SALE.

Notice is hereby given Il tha. .',.t that certain @
mortgage. executed and delivered BY
Carl Hermes and John Kramer mortgagora to
the Advance Thresher Co.. IAN incorporation
company mortgagee, dated the S6th day Of
August. A. D., 1895, and dled for record In tho
once Of the register OF deeds Of the county of
Richland and state of North Dakota. on the
9Th day of August, A. D. 1896. Will be sold at
the front door Of the pOstofhce ln the city of
Wahpeton, in the county OF Rtchland and
state on North Dakota, at the hour of o clock
p. M. on the e2nd day Of September 1900. to
satisfy the amount due upon said mortgage
on the day of sale.
The premises described in said mortgage
those certain premises situated in the county
Of Rchland and state Of North Dakota. and
described as follows, to.wit: One 10 horse
power Advance engine straw burner with
friction attachment No. s4S3. One 36x56 Ad.
vance separator No. 92S1 with belts. tools and
fixtures belonging to the same. One main
drive belt $50 feet 2 inch 4ply. One tank and
pump with suction hose. One tank and
trucks. One Advance wagon loading elevator
and bagger, bags from either side with
Forsyte patent wefgher. There will be due
on such mortgage at the date of sale the sum
of S1987.1s.
Dsted at wahpeton. N. D., this 18th day of
September 1900.
ADVANCE THREsHER Co., Mortgage.
FRANK B. SCHNELLER.
Agent for Mortgagee, Wahpeton, N ID.
tFirst Pub. Sept IS, 1907
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
SOMETHING ABOUT ARMIES.
Artillerymen Were Once Regarded
~ Mechanics, Not Soldiers.

Arti1lerymen Were Once Regarded
~ Mechanics, Not Soldiers.
Until the time of Charles XII of Swe.
den the artillery was not considered Q
part Of the army. The men serving in
it were not soldiers, but regarded as
mechanics. The officers had no army
rank. Charles MI gave artillery off,
GERS rank and regularly organized the
artillery into companies. The hattie Of
Pavia demonstrated the superiority Of
the gun in the hands of the Spanish
infantry. The musket carried two
ounce ball and sometimes brought
down at one fire two or three mailed
knights. The French sent a flag Of
truce to demonstrate against the use Of
such barbarous weapons.
Alexander had four kinds of cavalry
the cataphrnti, or heavy armed horse;
the light cavalry, carrying spears and
very light armor; the acrobalista. or
mounted archers, used for outposts, pa
trolls and accommodating duty, and the
dimachoe, or troops expected to act Ell
ther as cavalry or infantry. Alexander
the Great reorganized his fathers ar
my. The file or lachos of 1G men was
the unit; two files made a dilochy;
two dilochies made tetrarchy; two
tetrarchies q teXiarchy; two of these a
syntagura; 16 Of these a small phalanx;
four of these a tetra-phalangarchy. 9TH
erwise known as large phalanx.
The Greeks attacked in q phalanx,
the spears interlocked and shields over
tapping. After the first onset the spears
were dropped, and the day was decid-
ed with the sword. The cavalry at
tackled the enemy In the rear. If possi-
BILE. and. in case Of victory, undertook
the pursuit.-Pearson's Weekly.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
Trouble Ahead.

Married Man-And you are engaged
to Miss Blankie?
Young Friend-Yes. watched her
q whole day on the railroad train and
became SO interested in her that fol.
lowed her up. got an Introduction. and
now we are to be married.
Married Man-Was she travelling
alone?
Young Friend-No. She was with
her mother, and her kindness to her
mother is what captured me.
Married Man-But, gee Wilkins,
old man, she'll go on being kind to her
mother.-New York Weekly.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
NOTICE OF EXPIRATION OF THE TIME

NOTICE OF EXPIRATION OF THE TIME
~ Of Redemption. Office Of County
Auditor. Rich'and County, N. D.
.,ho,,; 10 unknown NIX owners IN whose name the
You are hereby notified that on the 7th day
of December A d.. 1897. the following dc.
scr,slcd renl estate, situated in said county,
to.wit: All the lots of blocks ~ 93 ~ s5 ti SO
1894 Ks -aa6.:S 394O4l of Hubbard u Tyler's Adj
dition to Wahpeton, N. d.. was sold for taxes
due thereon for the year 1876 as provided by
law. that the amount for which the same was
sold was ST. 90, that the time OF redemption
from said sale. allowed by law. will expire on
the 9TH d,y of December 1900 or within ninety
days after the publication of this notice.
That the amount required to redeem said land
from said sale s o. dollars per lot. In addition
tn the amount above stated. as necessary to
redeem from said sale. the cost of publication
oil this notice must be paid, together with
such interest as may accrue from and after
this date.
In witness whereof have hereunto set my
hand and seal ut Wahpcton. in said county Of
Richland, this 10Th day Of August. 1910.
(SEAL. NJ. A. WIPpERMAN,
First Pub. Aug 30. 1907
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
Not the Conventional woman.


But I don't know you, madam" the
bank cashier said to the woman who
had presented a check.
But this woman. instead Of saying
haughtily, Il do not wish your ac-
quaintance, SIR" merely replied. with
an engaging smile:
"Oh, yes, you do, think. I'm the
'redheaded old virago' next door to you
whose 'scoundrelly little boys are al
ways reaching through the fence and
picking your flowers. When you start
ed down town this morning, your wife
said: Now, Henry, If you want din
ner fit to eat this evening. you'll have
to leave me little money. can't run
this house on the city water and 10
cents day'"-
Here's your money, madam" said
the cashier, pushing it toward her and
coughing loudly.-Chicago Tribune.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
What the Tot. Said.

Here are some sayings Of children
reported by the Chicago News:
when small Bobby had worn his
first pair Of trousers for an hour, he
went to his mother and begged to have
on his kilt again. What for? she ask
ed. Because replied Bobby. 4 feel
so lonesome in pants
"a mother recently had occasion to
leave her little 4-year-old son alone at
home while she made brief call in the
neighborhood. Did you get lonesome,
dear? she asked upon her return. Yes,
mamma replied the little fellow. 4
felt just like widower without you.' +"
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11

STATEOF NORTH HDAKOTA-COUNTY OF
- Richland
In district court. Fourth judicial district.
Mary Cochran and VIM. L. Cochran,
plaintiffs.
w. H. H Pierce. Martin Merkley and Susanah
Albrant, defendants.
The State of North Dakota TO the above
named defendants:-SummoDs
You and each of you are hereby summoned
and required to answer the complaint of the
PLAINTIFFS copy of which has been filed in the
Office of the clerk of the district court, In and
for Richland county, North Dakota, and to
serve. serve copy of your answer to said com.
the city of Wahpeton, North Dakota. within
thirty days after tho date of the service of
this summons upon you, exclusive of the day
of such service; and in case of your failure
to appear or answer as above required, the
said plaintiffs will take Judgment against you
by default for the relief demanded in the com.
plant.
Dated Aug. Both. 1900.
FREFRKs & FREERKS aud A. j. BESSIE.
Plaintiffs Attorneys,
WahpetOn, N. d
First Pub. Sept. 6, 1907
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
A Secret of Youth.

One night at reception which Sem
aAor Beveridge and attended soon aft
Er his election the hostess said in mock
surprise:
care you Senator Beveridge, the SEN
Ator from Indiana?"
The senator bowed modestly.
"It hardly seems possible. Why, you
are a mere beardless youth"
MADAM" replied Mr.. Beveridge with
rout smile. II shave."-Saturday Even
~ing Post.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
No Use,

Catterson-Look here. old man! Let
me tell you how manage my wife.
always give her money when she does
not want it. and when she does l refer
to the time when l offered it to her.
Hatterson-That's a fine scheme, but
1t wouldn't work in my case.
"Why not?"
"Wcll, I've never yet seen the time
when my wife didn't want money!
Harper's Bazar.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
Paraxuay Tea.

When the yerba mate. or native tea
!. Of Paraguay. is cultivated. the seeds
: are treated to an acid bath before
planting. This softens the hard shell
which surrounds the kernel Of the
seeds aud enables them to sprout in
three or four months. II planted IN
their natural state. 1t requires three
or four years for the seeds to germi-
nate.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11

The average man will pay so cents
to see a show Of fireworks and neglect
to look at the sunset, which he can
see almost every night for nothing
Louisville Journal.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
TIE Retort Proper.

The Collector-Here it is Tuesday.
and you haven't paid a cent on that
watch. You promised to have the
money for me Saturday.
The Young MAXWELL. it is only Fri
day by the watch. 1t Is that much
slow.-Indianapolis Press.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11

"The baby has his fathers nose,
don't you think?" Z
Nonsense! Nature could no more
reproduce that nose than she could re-
produce q Turner sunset" - Detroit
Journal.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11
Diplomacy Wins.

Ardent Snitor-I lay my fortune at
your feet.
Fair Lady-Fortune! I didn't know
you had money.
Ardent Suitor-I haven't much, but
1t takes very little to cover those tiny
feet.
He got her.-London Telegraph.
The Wahpeton times., 1900-10-11

Something very similar to the 'tele-
phone was used in China 1000 years
ago.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1900-04-03
~GbiIdren's Column.
cow MY BOY WRNT DOWN

u0W MY BOY = DOWNs
Is not on the laid Of battle,
", was not with q ship &C sea,
fate far worse than either
mat stole hiU away from me.
r[os ehe death In the tempting dram
Tbet the reason and senses drown;
az drank the alluring poison,
And thus my boy went down.
n,vn from the heights Of manhood
n the depths Of disgrGce and sin;
01Tn to q worthless being,
From the hope OF what might have
been.
r,r the brand Of q beast besotted
IA battered his msnhood's crown;
r1roueh the gate Of q sinful pleasure
Ms poor, weak boy went down.
IT'S only the same old story
That mothers so often tell,
Uith accents Of infinite sadnf se,
Ike the tones Of funeral bell;
Bnt I never thought once, when /
heard it
Ishou d learn its meaning myself;
T thought he'd be true co his mother,
thought he'd be true 80 himself.
Ant. slssl Tor my hopes, all deIusionI
Alas! for his youthful pridel
AIssl who are safe when danger
Is open on every sidel
on can nothing destroy this great evils
No bar in It's pathway be thrown,
IN save from the terrible maelstrom
The thousands OF boys going downs
National Temperance Almanac.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1900-04-03
OF LIFE.

What Ho does we know not now,
but We shall know hereafter. I re-
member on a glorious day Of all but
cIoudless sunshine passing in view Of a
well-known line of bare and msjes5ic
doRns, then basking in the full beams
of noon. But on one face Of the hill
rested q mass Of deep and gloomy
shadow. o. searching for it's cause, /
az length discovered one little eptCk Of
cloud, bright as light, aOating in the
clear blue above. This iT was which
cas- on the hillside that ample track of
gloom. And what l saw was an image
of @ lristion SORROW. Dark and cheer
less often as it is, and unacc -untably
as il passes over our earthly path, in
heaven it's tokens shall be found 6G2
it shall be known to have been but ,
SHADES of tn g brightness whose name
ia Love ID AN Afford.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1900-04-03
A "JiNGO."

The English language is capable of
many queer t visits and turns. An Amer.
lean and an Englishman were once dis
guessing the history Of their respective
countries. The American b0asted that
his people had repeatedly beaten the
English in war.
"Wbatl The English beaten9 !
would have have you understand, sir,
that the English are the cream of all
the fighters in the worldI" answered
the Eaglishman.
Whipped cream, then, I guess!'
said the Yankee Sci.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1900-04-03

A Texas judge was robbed of a horse
not long ago, and the thief. being ap-
pretended, was brought before him for
trial. The judge eyed the prisoner
with deep satisfaction for a minute or
so, and then delivered himself of the
foI flowing: o wing to a~personal preju-
dice, the court will not hear this case
It will be tried by the bailifg, who will
find a verdict in accordance witch the
facts. In the meantime" he added,
impressively. 1.-THE court will go out
side and get a rope and pick out q
gnnd tree "-AFonraut
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1900-04-03
CONFESSION ARoUsRs SUSPI.
CION.

II dunno" remarked Piute Pete.
I'm beginnin' to feel kind o. doubtful
about that case"
"Y3 mean about that boss thief we
j9s' tended to2"
"Yes."
"But he confessed"
II know it. An it wasn't tell he
confesstd that I had doubts. Tnere
amt no circumstances wha somever
under which I'd take his word for any.
thing. "-WashiDgton Star.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1900-04-03
Read These Offers! Why Not Gel
a Copy Free!

To any paid up subscriber, or to any
pereCn sending US 81 on his subscrip
ton, we will send a cnDy OF this GREAT
work for only TEN CENTS EXTRA
To any person sending us 80 m IN
new subscriptions, or 81 in renewals
mot ones nwp) or will send q copy or
work FREE OF CHARGE.
Order TODAY. Address,
THE PROGRESSIVE FARMER,
RALEIGH, n. O..
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1900-04-03
Opinion, d Noted Critics.

Exceedingly amusing. "-RoSe
e. Cleveland. Delicious Hu.
NOR. "-WtlI Carleton. 80 ex.
cruciatingly funny, we had 70
sit back and laugh until the tears
came = Witness. Unqueg.
tionably her best. Detroit
Free Press. 'Bitterest satire,
coated with the sweetest of ex.
hilarating fun" -Bishop New.
man.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1900-04-03

"The reading of this book will search
many a heart, and ought to leads to q
simpler, holier, and more fully conse
Grated Christian life. Sunday School
Times.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1900-04-03
$4,000 CASH

was paid for the copy right Of
this work, and until recently 10
was sold at 50. 80, but lately 10
put it within the reach OF every
body it has been published Ia
somewhat cheaper form. Il 10
printed from new type, and on
fine paper.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1900-04-03
A NOTABLE BOOK.

1t is seldom the case that an audienes
which has listened to a long course Of Lee
lures covering several weeks, unanimously
requests its repetition. Such is the casS.
however, with the course Of lectures delfV-
cred by Professor George D. Heron. q
Iowa College, in Willard Hall, Chicag0.
last fall. and which has Just been 70
peated to immense audiences in n Of tha
largest halls in Chicago.
These lectures have just been published
in book form under the title o" BErwEBW
CESAR AND JESUS" They touch every
p~resent-day question by laying the founda-
ton upon which the settlement Of all q
them must rest. This book is Of special
value to preachers. teachers, Fetormeras
and professional men and women.
It's price is IS cents in cloth, 20 cents b
PAGER Address
The Progressive Farmer,
RALEIGH. N. O.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1900-04-03

TO CURB A COLD In ONE DAY.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tab
lets. All druggists refund the money
IL it fails to cure Z. W. Groves sig.
nature is On each box. $50