Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1900-11-15
SAVED HIS POSITIONS
QUICK WIT LANDED HIM SAFELY OUT
OF a TIGHT PLACE.

OF a TIGHT PLACE.
How Clerk Worked Up nn Excuse
That Was Gladly Accepted by His
Employees, to Whom He Had shown
Cross Inciyllity.
Its mighty hard for clerk to be
snave and polite all the time" said q
department manager in one Of the big
stores. IA clerk is like any other hu-
lun being. subject to headaches and
indigestion and fits of irritability, and
occasionally he will be little grutf
without Intending 1t. When / was
younger. Il few thoughtless words once
came near losing me good job, and
the way ! escaped being fired was
rather amusing. 1t happened like this:
III had charge OF the mems furnish
ings counter iii large clothing store,
and the pay being first rate and chance
of promotion excellent was naturally
anxious 10 hold on to the job. One
morning. however, l was feeling all
out of sorts and was just developing
an ugly headache. when a man came in
ana asked 10 see some cravats.
~ could tell from his general appear
ance he was from the north, and he
had curt, semisupercilious manner.
that irritated me Immediately If l
had been feeling well, would have
kept my temper, but my head was
throbbing, and when he paved over
the stock, finding fault with everyt thing
and sneering ut my statements as to
quality began to get crusty.
Finally couldn't stand 1t any Ion
ger. If YOU really want scarf 1
said, you'll find plenty here that, 1
dare say. are as good rs anything
you've been accustomed to wear Just
then happened to look up and caught
sight of Il tioorwallker standing in a
rear aisle and making frantic gestures
to me With his hands.
elf You'll wait n moment,' said to
the customer, wondering what the
dickens was up. I'll see If 1 can find
something else at the other side' With
that hurried over to where the floor
walker was standing. What's the mat
terY ] asked in a low tone.
Great Scott, man. he whispered.
that's the boss.
"The store, us should have explain
cd, was the southern branch of a New
York establishment, and during the
time ! had been there the head of the
firm had never before paid it visit in
person. Consequently didn't know
him by sight. and my blood ran cold
when l realized how hopelessly had
rammed my foot into it. During the
next five seconds l did some quick
thinking and among other things that
came crowling into my mind was the
fact that the boss had been married OIL
ly Il short time before. That gave me
an idea.
Pm going back whispered to the
floorwallker, and in minute or two
you send one of the boys to me with a
piece of folded letter paper
".What alc you up toy he asked.
Never mind said I. You do ex-
actly as l say. Let him just hand me
the paper and walk off. hurried back
to the counter and found my man look
ing black as thunder Sorry l said,
still as grutl as ever, but that's all we
have. If nothing in it suits you, you'll
have to go elsewhere
Very WE'LL he replied sarcastically,
and now let me give you small piece
of information. T.
"At that moment a boy handed me
the paper. ! tore it open, pretended to
read Il note. slapped my leg joyfully
and proceeded to do a double shuttle ON
the floor. The stranger glared at me in
amazement. What the deuce is the
matter with you| he growled. Are
YOU crazy or Just drunk
"'Ncithcr!' | cried. I am simply re-
licvcd. incXprcssivcly relieved and re-
joiccd! You must pardon this idiotic
exhibition. my dear sir, went on ear
nestly, and l hope you will also par
don my gross rudeness to you mo-
ment ago. was beside myself with
anxiety and didn't know what 1 was
doing. The fact is | said, With the
best imitation of dittidencc could
muster UP. the fact is, we have just
Lad new arrival out at my house.
It's boy. sir, and eyerything's all
right Aud really hope you will over
look
".Don't say a word he Interrupted
cordially grasping by hand. i apprcci-
ate your feelings, and your apology is
ample. Here's my card'
$50 that was the way got out of 1t, y
added the department manager, grim
ming, "but it was Il close shave, espe-
cially in view of the fact that was
and am case hardened old bachelor.
with a special aversion to infants. The
boss was very kind and cordial, and
whenever he came to town afterward
he never failed to ask how the youn-
ster was getting on. He doesn't know
any better to this New Orleans
Times Democrat.
Boston's Slave Market.
In the old colonial days Boston had