The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1900-06-13

OF Marion, who was erasing the CRIME
from the sunburned face. After they
had been fed and entertained Marion put
quarter into the greasy hand Of each
into a chair, she exclaimed Mercy.
How the picturesqueness washed OFF,
Detroit Free Press.
Can you tell which mushrooms are
poisonous and which are not:" asked the
young woman.
Il caR," answered the young man who
never admits he doesn't know.
"How?'
by reading the papers next morning"
Tx.
Rupert--"It was a strange case! He
left the club one night to go to the opera
ard was never seen or heard of after
wardn' Harold Disappeared as COM
pletely as if the earth had opened and
swallowed him up, eh?'' More SO, if
possible. In that case he might have
left his hat above ground, or there might
disappeared, but the fellow, mind you.
disappeared as completely as If he had
married an authoress.
Sandy Brown. grocer il a snail VII
lagc in Ferfarshire, discovered bad
2-shilling piece, which his wife (who was
afflicted with weak eyesight) had taken
during the day, says Bits. Being
of a parsimonious disposition this an
Hoyed him greatly, and he determined
to pass the coin at the first opportunity.
The next day while at work he saw
Daft Jimmie" the village idiot, pass.
Calling him over, he said:
Here's a bad 2-shiling piece, Jimmie
| want you to go to Simpsons Ia rival
tradesman), and buy an ounce Of to-
bacco. You can keep the tobacco, but
bring me the change
Jimmie hurried off and soon reap
peared, and handed the delighted Sandy
his change.
Did Simpson no jalous onything?" he
asked.
'Ach," said Jimmie. II didna fash
gaen so far as Simpsons I just passed
it in yer ain shoppie.''
Are you the lady of the house?" asked
the boy, as the door was opened in re-
Spouse to his ring
girl 'p'' :" 'ne
Can | see the lady herself?"
Shes out. Is it anything in particu-
Not very. When she comes home, tell
her boy left word with you that the
back of the house was all ON fire and
ought to be attended to as. soon as con-
yenlent If she dent want to novel
Exchange.
will you please examine that dia-
mond," said man who had stepped into
q. Jewelry store, land tell me what you
think of it? II it is good stone l think
| will buy it,
The jeweler took the gem, which was
unset, and looked at it critically for a
moment Then, in confidential tones. he
isn't very coed stone. 1t hasn't much
fire; it is badly cut, and there is some
thing here that looks very much like
flaw" Then he held the diamond un-
der microscope and examined it care
fully, finally observing: No, it isn't ex-
actly flaw. but l shouldn't call it q
perfect stone: Now, if you want some
thing really fine, l have here
Excuse me-" the other man interrupt
ed; Il don't think I'll buy diamond to-
day. This is stone that one of your
assistants let me take on Saturday ON
approval. l deposited fS on it. Please
let me have my money. and we will de-
clare the deal off. '-Tit-Bits
Thomas *. Beecher, who recently died.
once prefaced a sermon preached at Plym-
onth, for his brother, with the startling
animation: 'All those who have come
here to worship Henry Ward Beecher
will now have a chance to retire: all
those who have come to worship God will
remain
The professor was hurrying with a
friend to catch train, when he stopped
suddenly and exclaimed, There. I've
come away and left my watch
Let's go back and get it." suggested
the friend.
mo, I don't believe we shall have
time" said the professor, and he drew
the lost watch out of his pocket. looked
carefully at the dial counted the min
utes and added: mo, there won't be time
enough"
Then he pressed on toward the station,
saying: ooh, well, | suppose | can get
along all right for one day without q
watch. "-Collier's Weekly.
Salesman-'The very latest Bible?
Yes, ma'am, this is it,
Lady-"It has place for family rec
ords? | supposed"
Salesman-''Yes, ma am, for all OF
them: Births and marriages and Deaths
Lad That's not the latest. | want
one that has place for divorces.''-
Philadelphia Press.
Have you heard that the engagement
between George and Emily has been
broken asked Clara.
Yes" replied Gertrude II went to
see Emily and she told me just what had
occurred. 1t is all due to her absent
mindedness. Her head was on his shout
ders and she wanted to suggest that he
should take her to the opera, and she
said:
Do you know, dear Frank?
Dear George he corrected her
fondly
"She sighed, and inadvertently said
Yes, to be sure: but how stupid of me.
thought this was "Wednesday night
George will sail for Europe next
week said Gertrude-Philadelphia
Call.
81 had horrible dream last night"
said Huddleson. when he came down tC
breakfast the other morning.
"What was it," asked his wife.
II dreamed that | was in purgatory
and was made to do all the things ] had
told my friends would do if l were in
their place" Brooklyn Life.
George w. Peck was running a little