Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-03-18
Perfectly all right-couldn't be bet

worth of stock, believe. That stock
ought to have given you dividends OF
at least $1,000 year"
"But it didn't, major. The whole
thing busted up, you know"
"Ah, l remember. 1t was not bust
up, but the Hand Organ trust was con-
solidated with the Great American
Antiblizzard syndicate. l haven't the
books here. but if my memory serves
me right l presented you with 100000
worth of stock. If your annual income
from that stock has reached the sum
of $1O,00O-if you have been enabled
to purchase :
But I never saw any stock pro-
tested the landlady. "You said some
thing about it one day, but a week
later you claimed that you had drop
ped the scheme for a better thing.
You owe for ten weeks"
"Let me see," unused the major-"let
me see. Did l drop the Hand organ
and Antiblizzard trust for a surer
thing? All, it comes back to me! Yes;
we let 20 of it to take up and push to
success the International Nursing Bot
tie monopoly. Object was to control
the manufacture and sale of all the
nursing bottles in the world. Any
mother who refused to buy one OF our
bottles had to feed her infant from
trough. Each and every one OF our
bottles was provided with squirt
gun. and when the infant wasn't I'LL
ing up on milk he was squirting at
flies and developing his marksman-
ship. That monopoly was capitalized
at $50, 60o 600, l believe. You were let
in on the ground floor AS my land
lady l took you in first of all. My
dear woman, if your dividends on that
stock
But 1 haven't had any. That was
another of your schemes that busted"
The major looked at her for a mo-
ment in doubt and perplexity, but then
his face cleared, and, reaching for her
hand, he shook it heartily and ex-
claimed:
my dear woman, what business
head you have on your shoulders
what a head 1t is no wonder that
your landlord never has to come twice
for his rent and that the fame of your
table has spread abroad through the
land. Let me assure you that | am not
only satisfied with everything up to
date, but l mean to continue on with
you indefnitely-for years and years.
But you must pay. 1 can't run my
house unless my boarders pay
while perfectly assured that the In
ternational Nursing Bottle monopoly
would pay 20 per cent. dividends said
the major as he walked about, 1--WE de-
cided to drop it for a better thing. You
must know the difference between 20
and 40 per cent proft-you surely
must" $50
"Of course do"
Then l needn't go into details. You
will see at once why we went into the
Physical Pick and AK Handle syndi-
cate 1t was the difference between 20
and 40 per cent That organization
was perfected only three days ago, and
l have seized the earliest opportunity
to come in on the ground floor When
Major Crofoot gets hold of a good
thing, he remembers his friends. Not
only have you as my landlady fed and
lodged me on the best in the land,
but"
But you are behind ten weeks" she
put in.
But, my dear woman, you did not
stop there. You showed your conf
dence in my integrity by allowing my
Indebtedness to accumulate until it has
finally reached the figure of $40 Where
can such another landlady be found
Who will point me out another such
case of financial confidence? But you
shall be rewarded. People who repose
trust in Major Crofoot cast their bread
upon the waters to have it returned
20 times over. You will remember
that this is an interview of my own
seeking Had 1 not sought it you
would have let the bill run on for
weeks and months yet"
mo, 1 wouldn't" exclaimed the wo-
man. I've been trying to catch you
for the last two weeks"
But I sought the interview" Sc
renely continued the promoter. 4
brought about this meeting il order
that we might balance the books. My
dear woman. you are a stockholder in
the Physical Pick and Ak Handle trust.
You are in on the ground floor. l have
set aside for you $4,000 worth of stock
at 10 per cent. of its face value. That's
81 600. You know how it is when a
man strikes a blow with pick or AK
He grunts. We make all our handles
hollow. They do the grunting and
save the mans vitality-makes the la
Dor 10 per cent. easier. and every la
borer wants to work II hours per day.