The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-05-23
WHITNEY'S MAN
AT THE MUSEUM
HE HEARS THE STORY OF THE
"HEADLEss ROOSTER"
The Queer Marine Accident-Up
Hill Work For the Salvation
Army-The Boom of Col. Pratt.
No Coal Digging at Herrick Center
This week-sliced Hop
bottom Girls Farewell Note.
Special to the Scranton Tribune.


Susquehanna, May Efficiently
Susuuehanna young man visited a
museum in New York city, and, APP
preaching a "shouter', a short, stout
man with a red face, asked: Has the
museum got on exhibition any of those
"headless roosters" the papers have
been talking about?'
See here, young fellow, don't yer be
so funny" said the museum man.
"Mebbe you don't know what them
ROSTERS is?' he continued, relaxing
somewhat, "Thev're frauds, they are
regular snides, and we amt a-playing
such games on our patrons"
What do you mean by saying
they're frauds?" asked the Susquehan-
ma young man, now interested.
II mean just what l say. They amt
no such thing as "headless rooster"
no more than a headless horse, and
don't yer forget it.
They're all fixed up. I'll tell you
how they're fixed. A feller takes
sharp knife and Sits off the ROSTERS
bill. Then he loosens the skin round
the top of the ROSTERS head and
stretches it down over the head like a
hood. Mebbe he cuts away some of the
flesh with the bill, but he's mighty
careful how much he taxes. Wot | say
you may take fur gospel. That's the
way them headless roosters is made.
I've seen it done. They tie the skin
tight over the top of the head, and it
gets well in two weeks and grows up
SOS to look as if the head had been
cut right off. When you stick ker'
mel of corn down the ROSTERS windpipe
he swallows it and pokes his stump up
for more. After he gets well the own
er trots him out and says the head was
cut off when a farmer was killing some
chickens for dinner, but this one didn't
die"
Right this way, gentlemen! Step
right in and see the fat woman,and the
double-headed boy!" The red-faced man
began to swing his. arms once more,
and the band started up a fresh
strain.
AS SEEN IN WICKED GREAT
BEND.
Some of our editorial friends are eX-
pressing fears lest Editor Whitney OF
Susquehanna, get some of his funny
yarns mixed up with the census re-
turns. There is no danger. When
Bro. Whitney gets his working pro-
clivities aroused on the census he Will
be dignified, accurate and methodcal.
People who have been fearful that the
returns should show that they had
become the parents of triplets, born
to them while away from home, visit
in friends in Gulf Summit, and SINH
lar items, will be disappointed. Every
thing in his returns will be truthful.
OF course it will be proven that the
population of Susquehanna exceeds
that of the county and that it is larger
than Carbondale but that will not sur
prise anyone, for the truth will out
through the census.-Great Bend Plain
dealer.
QUEER MARINE ACCIDENT.
Sergeant McGuffin, a Susquehanna
county soldier now stationed near
Manila, writes home to his mother
about a queer marine accident. While
a sloop was riding at anchor, the cooE
got out on the martingale to spear a
shark. He missed his footing while
striking a fish and was never seer
again; but two hours afterward the
first mate caught a shark fourteen feet
long. In the stomach Of the big fish
were found dolphin, one of the cooks
legs, and a gold watch and chain
They recognized the cooks leg because
1t was tatooed all over with anchors
and girls and things. Then the mate
went fishing again with large piece
of pork, and in two hours he caught
another shark with the rest of the cool
in him. Life in Manila, with such in
cidents. is not at all monotonous.
THIS AND THAT.
The Salvation army will soon com
mence operations in Susquehanna. Il
will march along a mighty rocky road
-F'orest City News. Ever see the
day, my boy, when the Salvation Army
had any other sort of road to travel
When it leaves Forest City and come!
to Susquehanna, it will be like march
ing from corduroy road in the wilder
ness upon asphalt pavement.
There recently passed through thi
section a queer old man, whose sol,
aim in life appeared to be to pain
startling legends upon fences, rocks
barns and guide-boards, like these
Prepare to be saved; and Seek Sal
walton before it is too Late" Mixed
with advertisements and other things
some of the legends made odd reading
Up near Burnwood the old man paint
ed this upon a guide-board at a cross
road: Sinner, you are going toward
He'll" The sign board right below read
ITO Forest City seven miles"
The boom of Colonel Charles C
Pratt, of New Milford, for state sena
tor, is growing beautifully.
In this connection, Bre'r Haines, o
the Honesdale Independent, claims tina
'Susquehanna county has an insatiabl
political appetite" Dear old Wayn
has a most heantifu annetite in thi