Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1900-09-26


That makes the visions
| Which we see,
Correct it.
! Please. this very day,
And hold your skirts
/ Some other way.
Willis: m ]. hampton in Philadelphia North
! American.
When THE Rogers Brothers in Central
Park opened in Philadelphia Della Fox,
| it is said. received quite us much of an
ovation as the twin stars themselves.
| The gags perpetrated by the brothers,
/ however. seemed to quite stir up the qui-
ct Pennsylvania city.
A bunco steerer is supposed to have
sold Central park to the brothers. two
eullible Germans. The Rogers brothers
feel some considerable responsibility over
their property, and post the following
| rules:
| Nurse girls must report al babies who
/ stop to talk to policemen. Don throw
stones at the pairs under the trees Don't
| talk In the presence of the horses: they
carry tails The wild animals will be
| let loose to play with the children every
| Saturday. Couples making love must
beware of the rubber plants" And so
''All the banners on Broad street are
for Mckinley and Roosevelt" remarks
Gus Rogers.
But banners don't VOTE replies the
aStuta Max.
No: but they show which way the
wind blows" responds the first.
! Here is another bit of philosophy: L
don't need no friend says Max to his
| brother; I can spend my money on my
| SELF
says Gus. who's going to tell you all
| the bad things about yourself:'
| And another: There's storm brew
| ing" says Augustus.
I wish it was beer" replies the thirsty
| one
Once" says Gus. Il was with a ship
wrecked crowd in an open boat at sea.
| After drifting about for ten hours we
saw a lighthouse. Oh, but we We're
glad; all but two men,"
Didn't they be glad of the light
house," asks the babelike Max.
| No" replies little brother. ''They
were Nixon & Zimmerman, and they
don't like light houses
inquiries Gus: What's corporation -
! If you owe 4 man money, you have
| TO pay him. yes? says Max.
Yes" says ingenious Gus
Well. you ain't corporation
Gus says the other one. your sis
ter Maggie is crazy about kissing"
How do you know"
L got it from her own lips
L am afraid said the poet to the
editor, that you don't exactly grasp the
depth of the ideas expressed in my blank
verse.
Perhaps not said the editor They
may be beyond nay mental reach
L think you wrong yourself" said the
poet kindly Let me test the point.
Here is. a line at random: She swiftly
passed him down the silent way. and in
her path a subtle perfume fingered
There. that doesn't seem confused to you,
does it?'
Not at ALL replied the editor brisk
| ly, that's easy. You are simply trying
| to say that gasoline automobile went
down the pike"'-Cleveland Plain Deal
er.
Coin the whole way. mister?' in
Qulred the passenger with the green
necktie, as he took out his snuffbox. pre-
paratory to settling himself for a cross
examination.
! The party Intercepted eyed him atten-
lively, then replied
No; L get out at the third station.
am going to collect some money due to
me for groceries supplied. You see. am
a wholesale grocer. The business was
left me by my father: am married and
old. I am exactly twelve years and nine
months married. | live in a semi-de-
tached house, rented at ZIG. My wife is
fair, and weighs twelve stone. She was
a dairymaid before | married her. and
has been vaccinated twice. My bank
book is worth $500. | was educate at
public school,
The man in the green necktie had a
dissatisfied look as he inquired:
What did your great-grandfather do
for a living?'-London Answers
Hilton-''We hear a great deal about
the corrupt French stage; but l should
| think it ought to be especially pure
Tolman-"And what brings you to that
| thinking?"
Hilton-''There have been SO many
vile plays taken from the French that it
does not seem possible the French can
have many naughty plays left. Boston
Transcript.
In an examination Of divinity students
for ordination, IN England, one candidate
was so poorly equipped for his mental
struggle that the bishop ordained him on
ly on his promise to study Buffers
Analogy" after ordination.
The student was the guest of the bish-
OPP; so the next morning, when he depart
ed, the reverend gentleman shook his
hand cordially and said, as he did so:
"Goodby:. Mr.. Greedy; don't forget the
Butler -
L haven't my lord was the surpris-
ing answer. Il just gave him five shil-
! lings. "-EXchange
Harriet-''When 1 said, Speaking
about husbands what made you stop
me?'' Carrie-"Because | was afraid
YOU would offend Mrs. Menniwed. She
| has lost no less than three husbands, and
she is very sensitive on the subject,
therefore She is afraid that people will
| think they were lost through her care