davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09

Laurence Hutton is preparing vol
ume of papers to be called "a Group OF
Players and Other Sketches"
Hervey White, author of "Differ-
ences," has two new books ready for
pubiica on-"Quicksands," novel,
and a volume of short stories.
Gelett Burgess is to call his new col
lection of verse, consisting largely of
lyrics from that defunct eccentricity,
''The Lark" by the title of "a Gage of
Youth" Some hitherto unpublished
verses are included in the volume.
Like forensic eloquence, judicial hui
NOR is something peculiar to itself. Re
Gently Justice Day, of London. electri-
lied the court by asking, who is Sher-
lock Holmes?" 1t is a kind of tradition
with her Majesty's judges to know
nothing of popular literature, or of af-
fairs that are known Of everybody.
Who knows not Sherlock Holmes?
Well, Justice Day does not, and there is
the humor of it. The counsel who re-
piled to the question explained that
Sherlock Holmes" was the name Of
a book, which it is not. 1t looks as if
the counseTwas determined to be in the
humor, and not show more knowledge
than the julge. That DIR. Conan Doyle's
hero who solved so many mysteries
should become mystery himself is a
pleasant circumstance.
In August expired the copyright in
Balzac's works, and whatever may be
the views of his fellow-authors as to
the iniquity of robbing the dead author
of his copyright the natural man will
welcome with some not unnatural sat
isfaction the prospect of varied choice
of new editions. Till recently the only
choice lay between the rather bulky oc-
tavo edition and the cheap and handy,
but exceedingly Imprinted and ill-look-
ing little yellow volumes. Latterly,
however, his publishers have vouch-
safed a rather better-looking cheap edi-
tion in 1-franc form, which, moreover,
had the additional advantage of con-
tanning at the end of each volume a
table showing in what other novels of
the "Comedie Humane" the characters
of that volume reappeared. Only those
who have tried to trace for themselves
through that mighty maze the complete
history of Balzac's various heroes and
heroines can fully appreciate the boon
of this help.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
A Thunder Shower.

60 HE sun was shining brightly
when Lucy Manning went down
town, and it was oppressively
hot, but she looked dainty and cool in
her crisp ruff1ed lawn and white hat.
Having bought few yards Of ribbon,
a shirtwaist, marked down to half"
and an ice-cream soda, she started
home. The trolley car was almost
empty and she took corner seat near
the front.
Suddenly the sky grew dark, light
ming flashed, thunder roared, and rain
came down in torrents. The conductor
struggled nobly with the curtains, but
before Lucy's were down she was wet
through. She looked at her gown sor-
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Vanished Wall Paper.

Vanished wall paper has many ad-
vantages, and especially in a dirty.
smoky town, for it can be washed with
soap and water and be perfectly clean
without any expense. For halls, bath
rooms and children's rooms vanished
paper.or painted walls are recommend
ed; the former is especially durable,
and if the varnish gets shabby another
coat may be applied. After case of
infectious illness in a house where ex-
penses have to be considered, one fully
appreciates vanished room The
walls once washed with proper olsen
fectants, the great expense of repap-
ering is saved, the first outlay in this
treatment of the walls is decidedly
heavy, but it yields excellent interest.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Bird Music.


In his "Recollections of an Old Mu-
effect produced by violinist on fam
lily party of Indians who occupied the
front seats at concert in Topeka, Kan.
l was told there was a father with
six sons In the party, all very large,
broad-shouldered men. They filed
quietly into their seats, preceded by a
local guide, in whose hands they SEEM
ed like good, docile children.
One can never know what they
thought of us, but one can do something
in the way Of Inference. They sat quite
immovable in their seats, with their OK
like eyes fixed on our party while we
played serious music. No shadow of
emotion could be seen on their coun-
tenances.
The fifth number of the program was
violin solo by Mr.. Schultze, and for an
encore he gave little caprice, entitled
.The Bird in the Tree" The moment
Mr.. Schultze began this piece the In
dians were all alive, their eyes sparkled
with pleasure, and they nudged each
other with their elbows; and when the
little bird melody and limitations of
bird-singing began they looked all
around the ceiling and the walls, doubt
Jess expecting to see singing birds fit
ting about.
Not seeing any, they looked at the
violinist and began to understand that
le was the magician. The surprise, and
almost incredulity, depicted on the
faces of these children of nature was a
rare show in itself. At its conclusion
they jumped up and down, just as little
children do when something unusual
pleases them.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Bg@d![92y|aszZ, Z,
R}Y1MwSER2lS

Laurence Hutton is preparing vol
ume of papers to be called "a Group of
Players and Other Sketches"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
STRUCK EDUCATED cHINAMAN
The Mistake of a Green Reporter in
Getting an Interview.

The Mistake of a Green Reporter in
Getting an Interview.
Numberless are the tricks whicl
| newspaper reporters play upon one al
other to-relieve the somber grind OF
their calling. Two young men employ
ed on morning paper in large city
were detailed one day to call upon the
resident Cinnamon and "intervicw'
them respecting some immigration
measure then pending in Congress. One
of the two reporters was a beginner and
the other, an experienced man, natur-
ally assumed the management of the
assignment.
Billings" he said, after they had in
vaded several laundries without any
important result, "here Is a tea store.
l wish you would go in and talk with
the proprietor. I want to know what
he thinks about Cinnamon voting. I'll
go and pull off an interview with the
man who runs this cigar shop next
door. Remember to use the very SIM
plest English at your command
The young reporter went inside the
tea store, took out his notebook and
thus addressed the proprietor, who hap
pened to be alone at the moment:
John, how? Me-me-Telegraph
John! Newspape-savyy, John? News
pape-print things. Un'stan'? Me want
know what John think about Cinnamon
vote, see? What John think-China
man vote-all same Mclean man? Sav.
w, John? Vote? What think?"
The Chinaman listened to him with
profound gravity until he had finished,
and replied:
'"The question of granting the right of
suffrage to Chinese citizens who have
come to the United States with the
avowed intention of making this coun-
try their permanent home is one that
has occupied the attention of thought
full men of all parties for years, and it
may become in time one of paramount
Importance. At present, however, 1t
seems to me there is no exigency re-
quiring an expression of opinion from
me upon this subject. You will please
excuse me-"
The young reporter went outside and
leaned against a lamp post to rest and
recover from a sudden faintness that
had taken possession Of him. His COM
rade had purposely "steered him
against" one of the best educated Chi
namen in the United States.-Youth's Is
Companion.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
when Missionary Boxes Are al

When Missionary Boxes Are an Insult.
: There have been missionary boxes
sent to the heroes and heroines of the
church, fighting her battles in the van,
that have done more harm than good,
in hurt pride and damaged self-respect.
To a lady and gentleman use the
terms advisedly-were sent clothing,
old shoes, old hats, old collars, cravats,
gloves, fit only for the rag gbag. Ashamed
to send them anywhere else, the donors
sent them to the unknown missionaries,
and as everything that came to the
church to be sent was jammed in with
out care or discrimination, the arrival
of the box partook of the nature of an
insult to these heroic, gently-bred peo-
pie. Fortunately this state Of affairs
is not often found; 1t ought never to be.
Ladies Home Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09

process Of tasting oil the soups, sauces
and made dishes-advising when his
palate suggests little more salt here,
a pinch of herbs there, a dash of sugar
in this entree, a suspicion of onion in
that salmis, etc. This done, he pockets
his fee of twenty-five dollars and drives
on to the next dinner-giving patron who
has hidden him to his feast in this
strange fashion. His nightly list COM
prises many houses all through the
London season.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
OF the opposite side of the tube extends

OF the opposite side of the tube extends
rying a flexible ball can be attached.
The extremities of the tubes forming
the. teeth are preferably slightly fused,
SD as to form around them small thick
ened rings to prevent their scratching
the scalp. The nozzle is of such
length that it can be held firmly be-
tween the thumb and forefinger, while
the bulb can be placed in the palm of
the hand and squeezed with the other
fingers to force the liquid through the
teeth on to the scalp. The inventor of
this appliance is Henri P. De Vogel
II Surbiton, England.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09

rowfully; the color was running; it was
ruined. She minded the gowns plight
more than her own.
what pity" she said to herself; 81
was sure that it would wash"
Just then tall, good-looking young
man appeared at her side.
.'Good-morning, Miss Manning" he
said; pardon me if offer you my over
coat You will catch cold in that thin
gown, am afraid"
Lucy drew herself up haughtily. "No,
thank you, 1 shall do very well as
am"
But insist" and Lawrence Fulton
dexterously wrapped the coat around
her. Then he sat down on the same
seat, but so far away as to be almost in
a puddle. Lucy eyed him furtively.
Il don't care if he does get wet"
thought she. 'Mean thing. l wonder
how he happened to have his overcoat
with him this hot day."
Presently her conscience began to
trouble her. "Mr. Fulton" she said,
'why don't you sit farther over this
way? You are in the wet
81 am perfectly comfortable, Miss
Manning, thank you."
That's absurd" answered Lucy.
'You are almost in a puddle"
sit doesn't matter" said Lawrence
Nothing matters now," he added, half
under his breath. But Lucy heard him,
although she gave no sign.
The car sped three blocks, but neither
of the young people said another word.
At Superior street Lawrence arose,
. bowed, and left the car.
Goodness" exclaimed Lucy, almost
aloud, "he has left his overcoat" But
the car was already at Chicago avenue.
When Lucy arrived at her getting off
place the rain had ceased. She emerged
from the overcoat much-bedraggled
object. 'sI feel like freak" she said
to herself, impatiently, as she walked
two blocks in her wet and spoiled
finery, with the heavy overcoat on her
arm. The sun had come out again and
added to her misery.
Arrived at home, arrayed in dry gar
ments, and, happily, feeling none the
worse for her wetting, she ruefully
surveyed the oYercoat.
ST suppose I must send it back; he
will never come for it after last night" !"
She shook it out preparatory to fold
ing it, and long white glove fell to the
floor.
"Why, there's the glove lost last
winter at the McDonald's Dance" Lucy
cried "Stupid boy, to take it and car.
ry it around" But her heart softened
a little. "That was the night after he
asked me to marry him. o, we had
such a good time at that dance"
Lucy, have you heard the news?'
cried younger sister, bursting into the
room. "Grace Anderson is engaged to
Mr.. Worthy"
Lucy gasped. "Who told you, Molly ?'
"Grace herself. She was here this
morning. l can't stay to talk now. I
want to tell Frances" and the impetu-
Gus young lady whisked herself away.
"And to think-to think that I sent
Lawrence away because thought that
he and Grace were-were too much
together Sam Worthy is Lawrence's
best friend, and of course he was nice
to Grace And he wouldn't tell Sans
secret even to clear himself. o, dear,
dear!'
''Mr. Fulton, ma'am; come for his
coat" said maid, at the open door.
''I'll see him, Nora"
Lucy gathered the great coat in her
arms and carried it to the drawing
room.
Miss Manning" said Lawrence, as
he came forward, why didn't you send
it down by Nora? 1t was inexcusable
for me to leave it on your hands, but
forgot ~ about it"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
COMB 70 APPLY cuRATlvEs.

English Device for Treating the Scalp
with Liquids.
With the use of the appliance here
illustrated curative essences of solu-
tions can be applied to the scalp with
out moistening the hair above the
roots. The back of the comb consists
Of curved metal tube closed at both
ends by screw shoppers, which can be
removed to facilitate cleaning. The
teeth are SO many tapering tubes,
screwed or soldered into holes in one
side of the back, and from the center
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09

A great deal is said about the notori-
Gus lack Of moral courage in men. The
women are nearly as bad; when WON
an is carrying package of dry goods.
and goes into rival store, She nearly
always hides it.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Mistress and Maid.

."Of course, Susan, if you intend to
get married, that is your own busi-
ness" said the mistress to the cook,
''but you mustn't forget that marriage
Is very serious matter"
eyes, ma'am, I know it is, some
times" remarked the domestic, "but
maybe I'll have better luck than you
did o-Tit-BitS,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
A singular occunation.

There is a celebrated cook in London
about whom it is said that he makes
an income of over ten thousand dollars
year. He is attached to no house,
but in his own brougham sets out
toward evening for the house of some
rich man who is going to give a dinner,
at which every dish must be above
criticism. Here he alights, and, max
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
iNGS HERE AND THERE
Jokes and Joke1ets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-Sayings
and Doings that Are Old, Curious and
LaughabIe-The Week's Humor.

Old Lawyer-How'd I get my start?
Well, shortly after I was called to the
bar rich uncle died and came into
possession of cool hundred thousand.
Young Lawyer Gin surprise)-But 1
never knew you had a rich uncle.
Old lawyer didn't say I did; it
was a clients rich uncle who died.
Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Was Too Mile

"rm writing to Sam about his hay
fever"
.Why, what Of it p
sWhy, when he was here thought
he made too much fuss about it; now
I have it myself, want to tell him that
he didn't make half fuss enough
Indianapolis Journal
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Ideal Happiness.

She-What was the happiest moment
of your life?
He-Well, think it was one evening
last week when entered the parlor Of
my boarding house and saw strange
sign on the piano.
She-Indeed! And the sign?
He-"Closed for Repairs
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Hts Idea of institutions.

The Orator-My friends, the trusts
are engaged in dastardly attempt to
destroy our institutions!
Weary Watkins-Well, l hope they'll
stop at tearin' down the penitentiaries
an leave the porehouses alone.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Mistaken identify.

your honor" said the lawyer, "my
client acknowledges that she struck
the book agent with piece of gas
pipe, but she pleads that it. was case
of mistaken Identity"
"How's that?' asked the judge
swell, she thought it was her hus-
band."-Baltimore American.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Tabloid Restaurant in Paris.

A restaurant for concentrated food is
to be started in Paris by an enterpris-
ing French chef. The happy diner will
enjoy a menu of tabloids. From the
hors d'oeuvres to dessert his entire
meal will be presented to him in few
square inches.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09

Failed to Turn It Down.
Tess-I never saw anyone so slow as
Mr.. Timrus.
Jessie is slow, isn't he?
Tess s-Awfully. We were sitting in
the parlor last night, and he suddenly
said:
IF you could only see how much /
love you Pm sure you'd let me kiss
you" / told him 81 couldn't see it in
that light and he just sat there like a
stick.-Philadelphi Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Can't Touch Him,

Smythe-My wife dropped in to see
me at the Office to-day and
Browne-Sorry, old man, but my wife
saw me before left home. l haven't
a cent to lend.-Phi1adelph Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Siberian Gold.

There are now about 10000 miners at
| work in the gold mines of Siberia The
grains of Siberian gold are said to be
on an average larger than those of any
other part Of the world.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
oysters Must Have Salt.

Oysters cannot live in the Baltic Sea.
The reason is that 1t is not salty
enough They can only live in water
that contains at least thirty seven parts
of salt in every 1000 parts of water
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
should Have Suspected.

Towne-That was a rather disreputa-
ble-looking man you just spoke to.
Browne-Sir. That was my brother.
Towne-Oh! beg pardon. 1 might
have known that.-Philadelph Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Nothing Doing.

Biggs-Hello, Boggsi Just the man
wanted to seei I'm just back from the
Paris Exposition, and
Boggs-Sorry, old man, but haven't
got cent?
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Equivoca1.

"Rastus, are you really as fond of
watermelon as they say you are?"
'Who, me? Watermelon 4 des
can't a-bear 1T in my sight!"-Indianap-
oils Press. -
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
"Great trouble in dis world is, dey is
Took After Pana.

Sister-in-law-How like his father the
baby is!
Mother-He's certainly. like him in
some ways. He generally keeps me up
half the night.-Punch.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Sad Fate. of Ancestors.

81 tell you, golf is going to be the sal
vation Of the nation. 1t is going to
make athletic men and women out of
our puny offsprings and lengthen our
days by decades"
"But our ancestors didn't go in for
golf"
...And where are they now Dead! All
dead!'-Boston Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Knew the Gun.

Sympathizing Friend-Weren't you
awfully scared when you saw that the
fellow took aim at you with gun?
Pawnbroker's Mani was at first
until 1 recognized the weapon as one !
had sold the day before. Then l saileu
in and knocked the stufing out of him
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
OF Longing.

Darling. you ought not to be seasick
yet. We are not nearly out of sight Of
land. Look and see!''
81 see it, mamma. That's
what makes me want to die!''-C Chicago
Tribune
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
The Difference,

"The difference between the COW and
the milkman," said the gentleman with
a rare memory for jests, sis that the
COW gives pure milk"
There is another difference" retort-
ed the milkman. ''The COW doesn't give
credit. indianapolis Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Had a New Start.

McJigger-Jigsby' turned over new
leaf. He says hereafter he's going to
work with will.
Thingumbob-Yes, he has to; he was
left out of his rich uncle's.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Both Felt the Loss.

Watts-I think l feel as bad as Nudge
does over his losing his job.
Potts-1 feel worse-he has already
touched me. for $40. = Indianapolis
Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
No Matches Needed.

Mamma, 1 heard somebody to-day
say that matches were made in heavi
en-; how about that?'
Il believe that is the fact, Willie"
"Well, what in thunder do they want
matches there for if there's going to
be no night there?''-Yonkers States.
man.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09

Bess-They say Maud Goody kissed &
man at the Joneses' lawn party the
other night.
zJack-That's true.
Bess-How do you know?
Jack-I had it from her own lips
Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
No End to 1t,

Amateur Sportsman-Is this good
place TO hunt for reedies?
Native-You bet! You could hunt here
straight ahead for a week.
Amateur Sportsman-You don't mean
1t, really?
NativAYes, cause you'd never find
any.-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
On Her New Dress.

"Here, waiter, you have charged for
three consommes instead of two" Eyes,
sir; there is the one I spilled on mad,
Ame's dress. journal Amusant.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Her Preference.

Jaek-Don't you think that woman,
as rule, prefers man who is her
master?
Ethel-Not at all. She prefers one
who thinks he is.-The Smart Set
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09

Mrs. Won Blumer-Dear, dear,
dropped my diamond ring off my finger
this morning and 1 cannot find it any
where.
Won Blumer-It's all right, came
across it in one of my trousers pockets.
-Harper's Bazaar.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09

Little girls and boys don't know
what trouble is. Why, you can pull
their teeth with a thread!
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Old Sea Dog,

There are SO many barks on the
sea-" remarked the girl who was lean
ing over the rail-
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Not Exactly.

When man drinks like a fish it
doesn't follow that he's in the swim.-
Philadelphia Record.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Not the Sa me.

Friend-Did Fortune smile on you?
Rejected Suitor-Well, she gave me
the laugh, if that's what you mean
Syracuse Herald.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09

! A boarding house keeper who buys
the best butter, never gets credit for
anything but butterine.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09

Experience is the pay a man gets for
making fool Of himself.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
AS to Popularity.

Summer Boarder-Your charges are
exorbitant
Landlord-Jes' so.
."But you advertised popular prices"
Eyes, they seem to be popular The
house is full right along."'-New York
Weekly.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1900-11-09
Too Many Cooks,

Aunt Malindy laid down her rolling
pin, set her hands on her hips and de-
iyered herself of this proud bit of wis
dom:
Great trouble in dis world is, dey is
too many people who don't know
enough to be fust cook an knows too
much to be second."-Indianapo
Press.