The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1900-06-16

wife. She proposed to know the age
of Mrs. X, and having been married
for several years he gracefully sue
cumbed to the inevitable and at ran
dom said "Thirty-one." "O-o-oh"
was the remark which greeted his re-
luctant statement. "Well of all things
in this world and she's fOrty-five if
she is a day" and down went a note
in the red-covered memorandum.
"Now, did Mrs. Y tell you she had
been divorced?" was the next a. >ry.
The census man seemed to be thin =
ing very hard. He couldn't really l.
member, was his final venture in an
swer to this question. But that wasn't
satisfactory, and finally he intimated
that she didn't confide such a family
secret as that. Down went another
note and an ominiCus expression ac-
companied the writing thereof.
"Did Mrs. A. say whether she was
married or single?" demanded his in
terlocutor, and realistic idea of what
must have been the inner sentiments
of certain of his victims that day, sud-
denly appeared to the unhappy census
man. He thought she said she had
been married, he fin lily replied and
his wife wrote some more and made
the foot-note aloud that she wondered
some women would dare to turn out
the light at night.
Thus the inquisition went on with
queries as to whether a certain neigh
bor's house was paid for, and next
morning this particular census man
resigned his position, giving as rea-
son for the step that he thought SO
much talking was bad for his lungs.
The day following his wife had small
thimble tea, and the general local
knowledge that will now be found diff
fused in that neighborhood would be
worth q page Of statistics in the re-
port.
WI at is puzzling the eX-enumerator
at the present time is whether it was
| wise thing in systematically falsify-
ing the returns as he did in that mem
orable catechising process. Wouldn't
| it have been better to have the truth
| disseminated as it was confided to
| him? Yesterday he heard that Mrs.
| X. must be a very different sort of
person from what she was supposed
! to be, to thus preVaricate about her
| age, and other facts about people in
| the vicinity were more or less distort-
| ed, according to the half-desperate re-
plies he had made. He had been afraid
| to betray the trust reposed in him, but
it is now a question as to whether he
hadn't made matters worse by con-
cealing the truth. He is firm in the
belief that no married man should take
census statistics, and he is now plan
ming to leave the city for the sum-
mer.
I have for a long time held to the
| opinion that milk wagons and ice
wagons should be equipped with rub
| ber tires. There should be a regula-
| tion demanding this the case of the
| former, at least, although regulations,
except as evolved by the Mems union,
don't seem to regulate IN this city.
| There are those newsboys, they begin
| their shrill bulletins of Sunday "pi-
pers" at 6 o'clock in the morning and
| pursue you to the very Vestibule of
| the sanctuary with their importuni-
| ties, The mayor told them to keep
STILL but acting on the principle of
| the small boy, whC declared that he
| didn't say his prayers the night be-
| fore last nor last night, ana he wasn't
| going to say them tcright, and then
| if nothing happened to him he wasn't
| ever going TO say them any more,
| they've discovered that nothing has
| happened to them and they propose TO
continue disturbing people on the
Lords Day very early in the morn
| ing.