davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

He only permitted the treatment -
cease when q large and very painful
boil appeared on Mrs. Jobson's neck
"Now that the medicines had its efI
feet" said Mr.. Jobson, with q triumph
ant expression, when she told him
about the boil, you can drop the treat-
ment. It's just as told you. The ap-
pearance of the boil clearly indicates
that you needed sulphur and molasses
the worst way, and if you were able
to view the matter from a proper stand
point you wouldn't take q new, crisp
ten-dollar bill for that boil, or twice
the amount, for that matter"
The boil caused Mrs. Jobson great
misery, and she had finally to call in .
physician to attend to it.
A few weeks ago Mr.. Jobson began to
complain to Mrs. Jobson of feeling
'.dopy" and "all gone" and "dog tired"
and as having that ''weary, not-fit-to-
live" feeling.
81 know what you want" said Mrs.
Jobson, with a twinkle in her eye. ITS
sulphur and molasses."
"Who, me?" said Mr.. Jobson, for the
moment forgetting his advocacy OF
that sovereign remedy last year. Not
much do /. / wouldn't take a dose OF
that derned stuff-er-well, it's all
right, of course"-Mr. Jobson had sud.
denly remembered the stand he had
taken for sulphur and molasses the pre-
ceding spring-"but it isn't what /
need. My blood's all right. I'm over
worked, that's all, shaving and toiling
to keep this establishment together.
Anyhow, sulphur and molasses is not
adapted to the needs of men. It's
woman's remedy. Nope, I guess I'll
drop by the doctor this evening on the
way up and have him look me over.
Mr.. Jobson did, call upon his doctor
who told him that he was all right, and
only suffering from mild attack OF
laziness, due to the balmy spring
zephyrs.
Last Sunday morning Mr.. Jobson be.
gan to feel of red lump on the back
of his neck. He didn't say anything
about it, but he kept feeling of it all
day. He got home from the Office early
on Monday afternoon, and he couldn't
move his head a quarter of an inch to
one side or the other.
"Why, what on earth is the matterT'
said Mrs. Jobson, alarmed, when he en-
tered the house with long face and a
heavy tread.
'Oh, nothing" said Mr.. Jobson, tex
cept that I've got triple-screw, quad
ruple-expansion carbuncle or tumor on
the back of my neck-that's ALL
LET me see," said Mrs. Jobson, and
she looked at the back of his neck.
"Why, it's only little, ordinary
boil" she said.
''Is, hey!" growled Mr.. Jobson.
"Well, # it's only little, ordinary boil
it's doing the thumpingest business
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04
ADVICE TO WOMEN DOCTORS
Chinese Minister Says They should
Go to the Orient and Learn
Medicine.

WI Ting Fang, the new Chinese min
lister to the United States, is veritable
genius. Besides being accomplished in
Chinese literature, and a statesman of
rare ability, he is linguist and a phil
osopher, says a Washington exchange.
He was the principal attraction at the
recent commencement of the Woman's
Medical college in Philadelphia, and, of
course, was set down for a speech.
''Since came to this country" he said,
Il have met women doctors, lawyers
and journalists, but until l received
the invitation to make this address it
had never occurred to me the women
had advanced so far as to have an in
stitution exclusively devoted to the
training of women for the medical pro-
fession.
II am particularly interested in this
institution, because of the Chinese girl,
who, after studying here. returned to
her native land, where she has since
made a great success. In China it il
generally believed that there is one
sphere for women and another for men.
The world has acted upon this belief
for ages. / am glad that women have
gained such a position in the medical
profession that they cannot be re-
moved.
There are medical works in the Chi
nese language containing medical
knowledge gained from the experience
and practice of long ages. 1t is great
pity that this contribution of knowl-
edge cannot be available to the whole
world because of the great difference
in language. The Chinese attach great
value TO the practice of medicine. If
the good people of the European ma
tions and of America had sent only med
ical missionaries to China, missionary
troubles would happen rarely. If you
were to ask my advice to-day, young
ladies, should say with Horace Gree
ley: Go west. young lady, step not
on this side of the Pacific, but go un-
til you arrive in China. Go to China,
if you find this country too crowded
in your profession. There is room
enough and work enough there for ali. -
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04
rATTooED WITH PORTRAITS.
Many Soldiers Have Portraits Of
Their Sweethearts Pricked
Into Their Backs.

The American soldiers leaving San
Francisco for the Philippines are re-
sponsible for an entirely new lovers
idea, says an exchange of that city.
They have the portraits of their sweet
hearts skillfully tattooed upon their
backs. "Prof" Jake Londella is the
man who makes living by tattooing
the faces of infatuated folks upon each
Others backs. Londella's business
brings him in contact with men, wom-
en- and children. Women are his best
customers. Says he, regarding his Pc
culiar mission:
During the war tattooed many a
soldiers photo upon his sweetheart'a
arm, and the soldier often had her
picture or name written by herself re-
produced upon his breast. Many Brit
ish soldiers have had the portraits OF
their wives or sweethear|s tattooed on
the back before going to South Africa.
1t is fad with the officers especially.
know one who has the portraits OF
two girls tattooed upon his breast
with their names beneath them.
"You would be surprised to know
how many women bare their necks and
arms for the needles. 1t is becoming
fad here just as it did in London years
ago.
'Yes, woman is usually scared when
che sees the instrument and ink, but
she gives me less trouble than a man
when she discovers that tattooing does
not hurt much after all. Last week
spent half day working on the arm OF
a bride-to-be. Years ago she had q
mans name placed there. 1 had to OBJ
literate it by filling in with flower de-
sign. She said it would never do for
the groom to know about the other
man.
"Here is list of the designs tat.
tooed upon the limbs not long ago OF
Mrs. Frank Caldwell, the actress:
Snake, horses. peacock, butterflies
flowers, anchor, parrots, ockatoo
checkered stockings, necklace, eagles
stars, flag, hearts, shields, leaves and
fan"
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04
An old tortoise.

The life of land tortoise is known
to be long one, and this is the time of
year when the suburban correspond
ents delight in telling of old stagers
with dates carved upon their shells,
which may or may not be authentic.
The first of the season came to hand
one day lately and deals with the expe-
rience of Lynford Knowles of Leeds
Point, Nj. Mr.. Knowles wanted to rid
his cellar of snails, and was told that a
tortoise would do the trick. After a
brief search he foundone on the Town
send farm, and cut into its shell was
the following inscription: ~. L. e. H.,
B.. 1872" If the date is to be relied
upon, the turtle must be at least IS
years old.-Philadelphia Record.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04
Men.

There are two kinds of succession
people in this world-those who spend
less than they earn and those who are
able to spend more.
The world owes every man living,
but the world is like the unspeaka-
BILE Turk in one respect. Hard work
is required to get what it owes.
A man who can't save anything out
of 800 month would be hard up If
he had $4,000 a year.
Many a man wants the earth and
at the same time is unwilling to NOW
the grass on patch of it 50 feet long
by 30 feet wide.
There are mansions in the skies for
the man who is merciful to the livery
horse.-Chicago Times-Herald.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04
PROFITS IN MARITIME TRADE.
Tramp Steamers Make More Money
Than the Finely Appointed
Ocean Liners.

1t is fact worthy Of note in Eng.
Dish maritime experience that the
great passenger steamship companies
are not those which are the most prof.
table sea-going enterprises. The Lon
don Economist has recently given the
net profits for several of these lines
for last year and the year preceding.
Thus the Cunard company paid in
dividends to it's stockholders in the
year 1898 three and one-half per cent.
and in 1899 five per cent. The Royal
Mail paid in each of these two years
five per cent, and we imagine that, if
they had been given, the dividend
showings of the p. and o. would not
have been greatly better than this.
The intimation is given that during
the present year profits will be less,
for the reason that there has been q
great advance in the price of fuel suf-
ficient in large company to almost
eat up low rate of dividend.
The tonnage that has proved most
profitable to British shipowners has
been that of the tramp variety, where
high speed is not an object, and where
it is not necessary to employ and pay
wages to those whose main duty it is
to tidy up the ship and polish the
brass work. There were quite num-
her of these English tramp steamers
that paid last year to their owners 20
or 30 per cent. dividend on the cost of
the same. OF course, part of this
income in shipping property has to be
set aside for depreciation and repairs,
but in the cases we have reference to
these dividends were earned and paid
after a seasonable amount had hceu
deducted to make good these two
charges
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

for little, ordinary boil that you ever
heard Oft"
s'Why, it's not half as big as the one
/ had last year," said Mrs. Jobson.
think sop growled Mr.. Jobson.
Perhaps it isn't big enough to suit
you? Perhaps you'd like to have it as
big as coffee cup!
But" said Mrs. Jobson, unable to
keep the twinkle out of her eye, "boils
are such good things, you know!
Aren't they better out than in? Now,
if you were able to view the matter
from a proper standpoint, you wouldn't
take a new, crisp ten-dollar note for
that boil, and"
Mr.. Jobson turned his whole body
around SO that he could gaze at Mrs.
Jobson sternly.
Nov, know was right in my sur.
mise" said he, hoarsely. II hesitated
before permitting myself to believe it,
but the manifect delight with which
you view my suffering compels me to
the belief that you are responsible for
my misery. 1t is difficult to conceive,
Mrs. Jobson, that you could be guilty Of
SO mean a revenge, but haven't par
ticle of doubt in life that you've been
feeding me a double tablespoonful of
sulphur and molasses in my coffee
every morning for the past three
weeks. Washington Star.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

Electricity has just been applied TO
the making of cigarettes and cut to-
bacco, and hundreds of hand workers
will eventually be displaced by the
innovation.
South Carolina is now manufactur-
ing all the cotton she produces. North
Carolina, Georgia and other southern
states are also turning out large
part of their cotton in finished goods.
To-day there are dozen large mills
and IT'S lace-making machines in the
United States. These machines rep
resent an invested capital of nearly
So 900, 900, and turn out annually
4,5OO, 900 pairs of curtains, valued at
S2O, 100000
Pennsylvania coal output is great
er than that of all other parts of the
country combined, equal in quantity
to the mine returns to Great Britain,
and larger than is taken from the
mines of all nations in the world ex-
cept the United Kingdom.
One of the largest works of mans
hands is the artificial lake, or reser-
voir, in India, at Rajputana. This
reservoir, said to be the largest in
the world, and known as the great
tank of Dhebar, and used for irrigat-
ing purposes, covers an area OF 81
square miles.
The Academy of Natural Sciences
which claims the distinction of hav-
ing been the first scientific body ia
issue a publication in the United
States, is shortly to resume the dis
tribution of its proceedings in print
ed form. Its esrliest publication was
an octave journal, begun in 1917, and
continued until 1872
1t is well-established fact that
plants can be improved by crossing
and judicious selection quite as sure
ly and effectively as the breeding OF
animals. The sugar beet may be
quoted as an example of what culti-
vation may do. The sugar beet OF
to-day actually contains about three
times as large proportion of sac
charine matter as it did q century
ago.
The average dietary of individuals
in different countries varies greatly
An English statistician, Mr.. r. F.
Crawford, finds that an inhabitant OF
the United Kingdom consumes much
more meat than a Belgian, French.
man or German, but in smaller pro.
portion of bread and potatoes. More
bread and less meat are eaten in Bel
gium than in any other country con.
sidered, while French peculiarity ID
the apparent small use of milk.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04
pUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"Sure, Pat, and why are We wearin'
yer coat buttoned up loike that on
warm day loike this?" Faith, yer
riverence, to hoide the shirt Oi haven't
got on."-Punch.
Mrs. Gallagher-"An' phwat'll Oh do
at all, Moike? This machine only
goes up to rs shtone, an Dim 16
shtone if Dim an ounce" Gallagher
-''Get on twoice, Bridget, an add up
tn totals. s."-Glasgow Evening Times.
A Falling Out.-"And why did you
leave your last placer" "Cook an me
had fallin' out, men," II don't see
why you should leave for little thing
like that "But we fell out O. tn
third-story window, mem."-Cleveland
Plain-Dealer.
"What will get here for lunch?"
asked the man at the restaurant
counter. There's the bill of fare"
answered the man in the white coat,
"you can order what you want. I'm
not saying what you will get."-Indi-
annapolis News.
S6A Ou uCl4 AhC which AAAoSAAA OOAAS
are poisonous and which are not 2"
asked the young woman. II can," an
swered the young man who never adj
mits he doesn't know. "How?" by
reading the papers next morning
Washington Star.
Old Gentleman-"Andh have you any
brothers or sisters, my little man?'
Bobby-"Yes, sir. got one sister an
one an a half brothers" Old Gentle
man "What!" Bobby Eyes, sir.
Two half-sisters and three half-broth-
ers.'-Philadelphia Press.
slave you reason to think the pris-
oner drinks?" inquired the prose
cutor. IL never saw him drink" re-
Piled the witness with engaging
frankness, 'but l remember he once
asked me why built my fence square
ly across the sidewalk, and then i'm.
mediately afterwards tried to walk
over two-story billboard."-Phila-
delphia Press.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04
0tte Ghrn1ttrle.
,coLFAx. LOUISIANA
RAIN.
LOUISIANA

There is nothing that sounds better
When lie in bed at night,
Than to hear the rain a-pelting
When / know the farm Is right:
Than to hear the lukewarm splashes
That would fairly sprout stone.
And / get up in the morning
Just to see how things have grown.
don't 90 much for thunderstorms.
They're apt to lodge the grain.
Ny taste Is for the steady,
Pouring, downright, all-day ram
That spoils the small potatoes.
Because it makes them grow
TIL they nudge and say: Roll over
And bulge out Of the row.
I own like to idle
When / do It for a shower
That earns more in a second
Than 1 can in an hour:
For it's good to sit and listen
TO the seeds a-pushing through
And besides, there's always cnorins
For the hired man to DO.
m Y Sun.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

1t is the crowning honor of the
Baroness Burdett-Coutts, who has just
celebrated her eighty-sixth birthday,
that the world does not SO much say
how much money she inherited, or how
much she is now worth, as how much
she has given away for the benefit of
her fellows. More than SIS, 900 900 is the
record of her beneficence, and there are
few that surpass it.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

Be patriotic and take Holiday trip o.
Independence day. Cheap rates IN every
direction are offered by the Chicago Great
Western railway. One fare and tnlr&
on sale July 3 and 4; good to return July 8.
For further information inquire OF amp
AGENT C. G. W., or address F. H. Lord,
q. r. T. A., ll3 Adams street, Chicago.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

PUTNAM FADELEss DYES do not spot,
streak or give your goods an unevenly dyeda
appearance. Sold by all druggists.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

~Pleasant ways For sumner Days.">
Ia the title of the Grand Trunk Railway
Systems new Summer Tourist Folder whichs
together with other descriptive Literature.
can be had on application to j.. d, burgls,-
City Passenger and Ticket Agent, 24o Clark
ST.. corner jackson Boulevard, Chicago.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

When most men cast their bread uponA
the waters, they have large dipnet ready
The Criterion.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

Does not sicken as the so-called tasteless+.
tonics. Pleasant to take. Price, so cents.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

The stomach has to work hard, grinding:
the food we crowd into it. Make its work
easy by chewing Beeman's Pepsin Gum.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04
wheels.

Mr.. Sappeigh-I believe I will visit ..
mind reader and allow him to experiments
with me.
is reading a bicycle advertisement.-baitk-
more American.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

May-ls she very extravagant?
Maud-very! She spends her money
so thoughtlessly that she is sometimes
obliged to be content with an interior
complesior.-Puck.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

In the game of matrimony every mans
should take the hand of good woman
Chicago Daily News.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

Many supposed pessimist is man who.
hopes others will deny his gloomy assertions.
indianapolis News.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

PorcupineA'Tm little, but if you think
you can sit on me. you'd better try."-N.Y.-
Herald.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

When some people lose their positions
they look around for sympathy instead of ..
new iob.-.Atchison Globe.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

I do not believe Piso's Cure for Consump-
ton has an equal for coughs and colds.--
John F. Boyer, Trinity Springs, Ind Fsb.-
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

To Cure . Cold I'm One Day
fake Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Ala
druggists refund money ifitfails to cure. &c.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

Don't try to condense the milk of humana
kindness.-Chicag Democrat.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

If you want chill remedy, buy one that.
is reliable Tasteless Tonics are not made-
right; the dose is uncertain. Try Yucatan>
Chill Tonic (improved). Price, 50 cents.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

7 Asst spring, when the crocuses ana
hyacinths were beginning to pop,
Mr.. Jobson harked back to the days OF
his youth in proposing method OF
treating Mrs. Jobson's annual attack
of spring fever, which caused her to
feel languid, heavy and depressed.
sIt's the state of your blood that
causes that 'dopy' feeling" said Mr..
Jobson. "Your blood's toothick. What
YOU want is something to thin your
blood. Member how the mothers OF
Young ones 20 or 80 years ago used to
make the shayers take tablespoonful
of sulphur and molasses for their
blood every morning before breakfast
as regularly as the spring came
round"
Eyes, remember" said Mrs. Jobson,
with shudder.
"well, that's what you want-sul-
phur and molasses," said Mr.. Jobson,
in his usual cock-sure manner. Il tell
you what, those old-fashioned RENE
dies were all right; and if the know-it-
all folks of the present generation
would only revert to what they call the
scld-fashioned' methods of their fathers
and mothers in the prevention and
treatment of disease there'd be q
O'a"eu s's.' ,ess sl.As - ~. ..n,.,5
anu .o' 'neee ~ W..
oe uI's,ns ~ .hS-.,,,t.-
wan'' mls' SoSs s.a.. 10 To-, ss;,n 80 - go
lequ'fe' anu VIZ. ,..!ssa :. ss ....;t
'nas you 'aAe ~, .I's ,,Ss ',s :. 49,.
u'apie ~ osesn.n !. s,,.sns,', n. :, dpsss
anu 'no'"s - n.ta srsa,f... fnr :
every iuo' "'"s 49, - - :
''lvn'n =. %. ""n ~" o.e
Win tnas 'o1
n'a0 @ oa.
me. = pvos I.S
su @ Win Oo.'' ~ " q s.o o Tan
.rl~ s s..a-,'ss,. s.a LII vi 80
49, ~, "ay rsr.. pss :s.,,s $50 .h.
1'oiy nss . Des ~ .n4ur' a.o ,na.. =. Is
q ~. :, oo''s-ne 'Io,e .ne .es. -
'ne s'pnui a ~ lNns
aus.T ,s,,. .Av aPpa r [ ~, sa-.s;s s:aa
"ou'u" oe /" ~ -
.lon 'na. yoo w ~ ~ " ~. s
o.s' -. ?, -, oy's -
sou n"ow 'na' e'ey Io'r "e na -
VIZ" - ,sp' n." on"
a. ."
.sa.s sa" ma. '. o.s Ia aaa .. au 'na @ s
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soou ~ yo.' ~ . oouso"' ana : aoA ~ :
y III. AZ. ~" -. = =. ss ~ .s ~. ~, !.
,ar pps. ~ - es 1,,,
'ooAou' - ,ai'ns lol youl n,n -
y. eoaP'e - poan.s :. sa'pu. oA
ny "ay sp ~ 'A's 49,
nv 1 "e '.e 1'y yo' ~, 81
e Jug " as.no" ms.
'aney s'iup ~ oono'nons' le"en me- ou,
su.al o'u,.'me ,:l nlo.ass.s.anu We -
niA .ne "euicine up .o-n'gnt' anu you
g., ~ = " ' =
s.,r. . - ..
o,, - .s
s..a. - - : 'S-'' 'o'-o -
AZ 81, ..., -, r. 80.
s.,pls. 30 w, - :. =
-, 80. ~ .a. ','.a..s ~ !. van m'.n !,
.... s 90 sA'..'sn e",s as . -, ing eo.'
y'se ~ nv ioose ~ = lie ~ =. e' e'o,sl. !,
1.aTs a-y srs
1 = IN su'Pnu: :. a',.. ''.ass.s r I, ,n,e s.
.n.,ss ..s !" 10y aAa IL! =. 49, az. @
ea :. e ,:,' v,s :. ~. 1r. ras. ,nas uon ~
M ~ A vas IVY
Use. :. ee' " 10y on .P',.s nuin
.ns, - o ~. .s' ~, =, i'nc "ne'
-,sr. o,,t go u,.s,.3,.o, :. s,, ,.aas - s.ns
pbur and mol.ssss rya rot ar r;rh.
thin. Mrs. Iohson an,s ro,,,,, S. as,., - -
me and thanL mo for s,,,rras.;rr; - -
ron ahont /. uonth fron' ,o, -
yo,,,n ~ fss,;rr 80 n.'n., .n.. .',,, %
want 20 co Ont On - .hs | &c.. 80 s;a..va,,. :.
and ;un,, tbs sL;,n;nr rsr,a s..;.,, -, -. :. :
little Girls and ,,lav ;o.Ls "a hsan 80
hag With ,amr ' ~ "''
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04
Az IYlpstration.

An Irishman was telling me that Irishr
men are creatures of impulse. An lr1eh--
said. "and be afther standing him dhrinks
the next."-London Pick-Me-Up.
The Colfax chronicle., 1900-08-04

Halrs Catarrh Cure
l. taken Internally. Price 75c.
The oasis., 1900-04-28

this city went to see the sights at Santa Anita accompanied by an Amer ican woman. After they had seen a part of the town, the woman told an officer that her companion had about 5000 in bank bills in his pocket and asked protection for him as a number of rateros were after his money. The officer asked the couple to accompany him to the police station to deposit the bills until they were ready to re- turn. They did so, but on arriving at the station, the American found out that the money was gone and at the same time the woman disappear ed. The police are of the opinion that the woman had combination with the rateros to fleece the new conner and unow they are looking for ner. The American does not speak word of Spanish and through an interpreter he said he had a large sum of money with him, but he could not say whether he lost it or 1t was stolen from him.