davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
He Concentrated.

Professor Countemfast is small
man with a large mentality. His wife
IS a tall woman, who believes in the
power Of matter over mind. The pro
fessor had been absorbed the whole
evening in profound paper on the
mental characteristics Of people who
We're unhappily married. Suddenly
looking up, he remarked:
.My dear, are you aware Of the fact
that q mans brain weighs about 3l4
pounds"
'Humph! You've just read that,
haven't you?'
"Er-er-why-er-oh, yes; certainly,
Of course"
..Well, that article says a womans
brain is not SO heavy, eh?'
"Er-er-yes, it certainly does, but
"And it also states that Il woman'S
brain is of much finer quality, doesn't
it?'
"Er-er-wen, yes; you are quite
right, my dear"
''Now, listen to me. Just concen'
trate your 31a pound brain on that
scuttle and figure ou: how much it will
weigh after YOU bring it full Of coal
from the cellar" The professor meek
ly bowed his great head, and, as he de
parted for the lower regions in search
Of abstract information, he murmured
The man who thinks that mind is
superior TO matter is an illuStrious
idiotv'-Loudon Tit-BitS.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
That Low Animal, Man.

Instead Of the highest, man is IN
some respects the lowest of Me animal
kingdom. Man is the most unchaste,
the most drunken. the most egotIst!c.
the most miSerly, the most hypocrltlcal
and the most atrocious Of living crea-
lures. No animal. except man, Kills
for the mere sake of killing. For one
being to take the life Of another Tor
purposes of selfish utility is PAD
enough, conscience knows. but the IL
discriminate massacre Of defenseless
victims by armed and organized packs
lust for pastime. is beyond character
ization. The human species is the only
species Of animals that plunges to sucn
depths of atrocity. Even vipers anu
hyenas do not kill for recreation.
No animal. except man, babitually
seeks wealth purely out OF an insane
impulse to accumulate. and no animal
except man, gloats over accumulatlons
that are of no possible use to him, thar
are an injury and an abomination and
in whose acquisition he has committed
irreparable crimes upon others. There
are no millionaireS-no professional, le-
calized. lifelong kleptomaniacs-amons
the birds and GIadrupeds. No animal
except man spends so large part OF
his energies striving for superiority
not superiority in usefulness, but that
superiority which consists IN simply
getting on the heads Of ones fellows TO
crow-and no animal practices COM
mon, ordinary morality to the beings OF
the world in which lie lives so little,
compared with the amount he breaches
it, as man.-Humane Review.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
THE GALLUP FAMILY
AN EVENING OF ONE SIDED TEARS
AND LAMENTATIONS.

Mrs. Gallup Gives Her Silent Kus-
band Some Instructions and Ad-
vice About Her Own Funeral and
the Wife That WIFE Succeed Her.
copyright. 1900. by c. B. Lew!s.l
Mr.. Gallup had gone down town
after supper to hear the political news.
and it was 8 O'clock when he got back
homo. He had left Mrs. Gallup clearing
away the dishes and singing Happy
Day. but when he returned she was
lying co the lounge with her eyes
closed and the house quiet as grave
yard. He sat down after q glance at
the figure and laboriousiy united his
shoes and pried them OF and then
picked up the family almanac to see
what time the moon would be IN her
last quarter. Ten minutes passed. and
Mrs. Gallup uttered long drawn sigh.
Two minutes later she groaned. \
minute after the groan, as Mr.. Gallup
had paid 10 attention to her, she sat
up and said:
Samuel, you've come here jest in
time. l was afraid I'd hey to go with
out biddin you goodby, but you are
here. You hadn't been gore froIa the
house ten minits when went tc carry
the milk down cellar. l wasn't think
In Of death or anything Of that sort
when all to once heard voice sayin.
Git ready to soar away and become
an angel You may tell ME. Samuel,
that It was the vinegar bar'l workin
or that it was a-gurglin from the soft
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19

pamuel. AS MY Speerll VIII De nyln
around IN heaven, it won't make 10
great difference about my body. When
Mrs. Thompson died, she wanted
funeral to cost $3.50, but Pm not Mrs.
Thompson. You'll marry again, OF
course, and you'll need all your money
to fam out with. Second wives allus
fam. Yours will want new dishpan.
new curtains, new knives and forks
and as many as three new tabiecloths
the very fust thing. Speakin Of table
cloths, Samuel, I've made the last new
one last seven years. l don't expect
any praise fur it, but when your second
wife shakes one Gil 10 pieces in six
months you'll see q difference. What
kind of a second wife are you Soin to
marry, Samuel? You needn't be afraid
to tell me- fur there isn't a jealous hair
in my head. Will she be old or
young?'
Mr.. Gallup yawned and stretched and
thrust out his legs but he had nothing
to say.
''Mrs. Roedecker says you'll probably
marry a young chit Of II, and Mrs.
Jackson says you'll probably look fur
q widder with as many as five COWS,
but l amt goin to find no fault in
either case. On the contrary, kinder
pity you. Second wives allus smash
and break and bust things, and II you
say anything they'll sass back and pull
hair. You'll be rid Of me and my truo-
bles, Samuel, but there'll be times when
You'll sit down on the wash bench out
doors and wish l was back. Yes, you'll
acknowledge to yourself that l was
nardvorkin and savin and that l was
no hand to CAD about, but I'll be an
angel, and you'll hey to plug along the
best you kin without me. That's all,
Samuel, and I will now die and hev Il
over with.
She stretched out on the lounge and
folded her hands and closed her eyes,
and for ten minutes there was silence.
Then Mr.. Gallup yawned again, look
ed around and saw her there, and as
he rose up to wind the clock and go to
bed he observed:
You'd better turn the cat outdoors
and see If the kitchen window is fas-
tened up NJ. QUAD.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
He Doesn't Like Aauariums.

WHY any one should ever have de
sired to own or to visit an aquarium
is mystery. The view Of fish, except
when nicely grilled or when suspended
at the end Of a fishing line, is one OF
the most uninteresting of sights. Ihe
other animals when in confinement dis
play traits which are more or less IN
teresting. The lion has sense OF hu-
NOR and displays it in the most pleas
ing way when he devours the lion
tanner merwwhoo wwhhoo>h has entered too often into
his cage. The 6eSEsip n his thirst Tor
buns seems so much like ne human
boy that the spectator Of his antics
frequently feels an irresistible desire
to hit him with a stick.
But the fish has not a single inter-
esting trait. He will swim around the
tank in which he is confined with a
persistence which is maddening to the
nervous spectator. He never engages
in a genuine fight, but contents himself
with an occasional surreptitious bite
of an enemy's tail, which gives no true
satisfaction to the beholder. If he
happens to be large snake thinly dis
guised as an eel or an octopus or some
other alarmingly ugly fish, he Will
sometimes swim directly at the glass
through which the visitor is looking at
him and thereby give the latter mo-
mentary sensation Of horror, but the
average fish cares nothing for the pub
lie and treats his visitors with calm
contempt. An aquarium without fish,
like a seashore resort without the sea,
is unobjectionable, but an aquarium
with real water and real fish is the
dreariest object in nature.-W. L. Al
den in Pearson's Magazine.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19

s7,vEsAD TERRIFYING FITS OF SICKNESS"
soap. but know better. 1t was my
summons to go, and come right UP
stairs and begun to git ready. 1t wont I
disturb you much Il I die tonight, will
it?"
Mr.. Gallup didn't reply. He had
found the moons last quarter and was
deeply interested.
"I'ye never bin no hand to make you
trouble, Samuel" she continued, ana
I shan't begin now. If you'd rather
I'd die in the daytime, III try and hold
on, though I s'pose one ought TO ole
when the hour comes. Aebbe you We
bin thinkin that when l died you'd
hev to pay out great lot Of money
over the funeral, but l want you to
know different. I've never bin an ex-
travagant woman, and l kin git along
with q cheap funeral. l was reckonin
: I'D t'other day, and l was surprised
and pleased with the fggers. DO you
know, Samuel Gallup, that the hui!
thing. from fust to last, won't cost q
cent over S30?"
One Of Mr.. GalIup's eyebrows was
slightly raised IN questioning man
ner, but he made no verbal reply.
''O1ty $50. Samuel. and that lucluoeS
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
A FAMOUS LIGHTHOUSE.
Tillamook Rock, at the Mouth OF the
Columbia River.

COlUm b1a RIVER.
The most famous lighthouse on the
Pacific coast is that Of Tillamook rock,
70 miles south Of the mouth Of the Co
lumbia river, Oregon. The rock is 90
feet above the sea, yet at the time Mr..
Lord made one Of his photographs q
wave was breaking through crevasse
and hurting its spray higher than the
summit. On this day it was too rough
for the Colgmbjae,s boat to make a
ia1ding. Coal for the stahoa ~ sss.sSA ~ Is
hoisted In net sings, and the keeper
had to be lowered in cage or basket
and, suspended in midair over the sea,
report on the condition Of himself and
his assistants, as they were short Of
provisions, most of the supply having
been destroyed during storm.
From the side Of the rock heavy sea
at the height Of this storm tore of two
pieces averaging 63 pounds and hurled
them upon the roof Of the keepers
dwelling. With the weight Of the wa
ter these fragments made hole 26 feet
in area in the roof, flooded the building
to a depth Of over Ave feet and washed
out two walls, throwing three rooms
into one, an Improvement for which
the keepers were not especially CRATE
full. Pieces Of rock punctured the iron
roof IN 35 places. Although the focal
plane Of the lantern is 1876 feet aboyel
the sea level, II panes Of glass three3
feet long and three-eighths Of an inch
thick were knocked in by pieces of
rock which went through the lantern,
and the water put out the light The
building has now been raised six feet,
and thick concrete roof has been laid
on heavy steel Observation-Disclosures.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
Like a Cot ON a Wall.

A Scotch highland minister was very
fond Of commenting on each verse. as
he read it out. On reading the precept,
walk circumspectly," he said: "Ye've
all seen cat, my brethren, walking on
the TOP Of wall covered WI broken
bottles and bits of glass. See hoo it
lifts ae fit and then anither fit and hoo
slowly and carefully it puts it doom, to
keep clear Of the sharp bits Of glass.
And so, my brethren in this warld O.
snares and pitfalls, we should be like
the cat on the wall-we should walk
circumspectly."
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19

stories aboot niggers' haids-how hawd
dey is an how presumshus it becomes
er white man ter tempt ter break 'em
but lemme tell ye ye doan know
aboot it tel ye runs agin de real ting.
Me an dis feller wuz wo'kin togedder
putin up q b'iler, an a dissertation
arizebetween US, an All in de 'zuber-
asge Of me feelin's kicked wild all me
mite. WeN,-Ah reckoned ter strike
him on de haid, an All ID Deed All
did! Caught him squar'. He nevah
moved-no, sab. But de reaction didn't
do er ting but break tree of me toes,
an dat's what Ah'm here fo'-ha, ha,
ha! Huh, huhp' ...
And cheerful Rastus, with the broken
toes, laughed hilariously while the ply
sician readjusted the splints.-Detroit
Free Press.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
Tbouebt It Was q Proposal.

Scene, cab stand near London. La
dy, distributing tracts, hands one to
cabby, who glances at it, hands it back
and says politely, THANK you, lady,
but I'm married man." Lady nerV-
ously looks at the title and, reading
abide with me-" hurriedly departs, to
the great amusement Of cabby.-Spare
Moments
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
"Mr. Maximum"

The result Of an examination was put
I'D on the notice board Of a well known
cramming establishment, and one OF
the attendants was scanning the list
with as much interest as any Of the
breathless students. At the head Of the
list was written, "MaXimum 50O," and
when the attendants eyes rested there
on he exclaimed, "Why, that Mr.. Max
imum, he's always top, he is.'-London
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
A Gallant Clergyman.

It is said that the Rev. Sydney Smith
could be gallant as well as witty on oc-
casion.
"Oh, Mr.. Smith, I cannot bring this
flower to perfection" said a young
lady to him once as she showed him
about her conservatory.
Whereupon he took her by the hand
and said, Then let ne bring perfec-
ton to the flower"
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
The Hardest Head Yet.

Cheerful Rastus hobbled painfully
into the office Of the city physicians,
supported by two abbreviated broom
handles.
"Well, Rassy, how is the limb to-
day?" inquired one Of the young men
in charge.
"Torble, torble," replied Rastus, grin
ming like new moon.
"Ah tell ye," he said as the dressings
were changed, "Ah'Ze heerd all kln,s
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
From o Wife's Diary.

All, me!
Yesterday my husband exclaimed
"Parbleuw at golf.
This evening he has just exclaimed
"Hoot, monr' at my fete champetre.
How humiliating to be married to
such a clod Of man, with no soul,
none Of the finer sensibilities-Detroit
Journal.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
Close biance.

Mrs. Talkso's husband was reading
an advertisement which asserted that
"the mail is quick, the telegrapher Is
quicker, but the telephone is quickest,
and you don't have to wait for an an
sHer."
"Ah," he reflected, Gin one particular
that reminds me strongly Of Mrs. Talk
so."-Baltimore American.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
Explained.
has he money

HAS he money
"No."
Then he probably has family and
position"
NO; he is merely fine man.
Then why in the world is Maud
marrying him."
':For love. l understand"
well. l always did think Maud was
well, Queer."-Colorado Springs Ga
Zette.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
Not a Good Conductor.

"Well, sir" remarked the observant
passenger, after watching the conduct
or collect eight fares and ring up five,
"you need never be afraid Of being
struck by lightning"
"Why not" asked the trusted en-
ployee.
Because" replied the observant pas
senger. 'it is evident you are not q
good uctor."-Philadelph Press.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
A Midnight Escapade.

It was midnight as a laundering
knock came at the door Of room No. ~,
PheniX hotel.
What is wanted?" asked the occu-
pant as he sat up in bed with furlous!y
beating heart.
1--WE want you! Open this door,
Never
"Then t7ke the consequences
The man sprang out Of bed and hur'
riedlv dressed himself His face was
pale and his hands trembled, but he
shut his lips with q determination to
sell his life dearly. He heard foot
steps moving in the hal, >and presently
his door was burst from its hinges and
q dozen men burst into the room. They
found him standing with revolver IN
each hand and the light Of battle IN his
eyes.
ssYou may hang me-" he said in low,
tense voice, "but u Of you will go into
the other world before me-
sNho said anything about hanging?'
inquired voice.
"But you have come for that. Twelve
years ago in this town l killed four
men. You have recognized me and
have come for revenge.
"Not much, stranger. We don't know
anything about the four men and don't
want to. You live in Missouri, don't
you:"
"I do"
"Well, what we wanted to ash was
whether three of q kind beat straight
in your state"
"They do not.''
"Then that's all, and you can go back
to your snooze Sorry to have disturb
ed you, but we had q dispute ano
wanted to settle it."-NeW York Sun.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
Innuendo.

did you ever hear anything against
his honesty"
'No, suh," answered Mr.. Erastus
Pinkly. But he eats chicken mighty
reg'lar on Sunday, an he's allus got an
umberell when it rains."-WashingtoD
Star.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19

\ presidential elector in New York
receives the sum Of SIS for each day
in attendance at Albany, together with
40 cents per mile each way from MS
place Of residence by the most Travelled
route to the place Of meeting"
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19

Any one can ride prosperity and a
camel when they walk, but when they
run most persons are apt to be hurt.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19

We have without exception the incest and best selec-
ted stock of Millinery and Dress Goods IN Manning we
are carrying much nicer line and better grade OF goods
than has ever been carried in the Racket Store
You want to see line OF goods for Misses school
dresses and Ladies rany-day skirts.
Cur csc Crepons in colors are fine too
Ladies' 1t false economy 60 larger towns Tor your
dress goods and hats when YOU get what you want
here your door at from 25 to 80 per cent cheaper IMAM IN
larger towns We have the goods and have them IN snort
en- cths so as no two ladies will have dresses alike
We are the people trade with because we are the VIC
tors over high prices and will treat you right Nhen
you buy 10 yards of goods from you get 10 yards ana not
2 or s; therefore hear and do justice to yourself ana
nocke.- book.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19

Friends we the people to trade with. We will treat
you right and have the goods and goods that are right
and prices too We will save you money We don't handle
shod goods but all cean new goods direct from the man
uacturer to the wearer-no middle obbers profit;
you save that by buying from US.
Saving breeds riches; sngness means poverty" Buy
ing from us means happiness and prosperity to your house
hold.
We want your trade and will get part of it anyway
and if you will to us for what you want you can get
it, and in six months S. T. Trs Racket Store will be the
watchword of every man. and child in Clarendon and
the adjoining counties.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1900-09-19
It is useless to try to tell you what we have in
SHOES

AS we are too well known to the people. We carry
pee line to fit any size foot We sell the wonderful w L.
Owesev Shoes of Brockton Mass Every pair guaranteed
Young men, come to US for Patent Leather Shoes that
are guaranteed not to crack
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-06
THE PAY OF CONGRESSMEN.
How Thrifty Members Manage 10
Add to Their Incomes.

Washington Letter in New York Times.
Nominally the pay of a member of the
Senate or the House is 5000 year. Sen
ators and representatives in Congress are
on a level in this respect. which some SEN
ators regard as a great hardship, not be-
cause senators work harder than represen-
tatives but for the reason that The habits
soon acquired in the Senate are more ex-
pensive than those adpted by most mem
bers of the other house. But thrifty mem
bers Of both houses may increase their pay
considerably by making shift To take adj
vantage of the liberal allowances to men,
bers under the rules. Far Western men,
bers-all members, in fact-get 20 cents a
mile mileage once each session. In many
eases this adds about SiO) a year to The
net pay OF the member, as he does not
need to pay anything like 20 cents mile
for travel, and most Of them pay only thelr
Incidental travel expenses, as they enjoy
the "courtesies" Of the r. ads over which
they travel The average of gain in pay
may be 500 from mileage. Then latg'
proportion of the members take In cash
the stationery allowance of $40 each Ses-
sion Some members sell their seei allow
apces others dispose of their quu taS OF
documents TO other members or TO second
Evidently every member eXpeuda 500 a
month In clerical fees, for every member
makes a sworn statement that he does
and upon that statement draws me amount
allowed for such services said TO be re-
ouired 10 enable him 20 serve his constit-
uents effectively There IS no scrutiny Of
this pay. no roll on which the clerks ere
carried. and they receive their pay directly
from the member. An interruptions mem
her might add 10 his pay by something
ike 81 2)0 from such a source. Now ana
then assert Ions have been made that mem
bers require their pro,eges IN the service
TO "whack up" a part Of thcir pay IN
consideration Of securing the places thav
occupy. Such instances are tow " there
are any az an. but the charge has Been
made In several instances. determine
man might easily run his income up 10
5000. and n ne was willing 90 i've fru
gally might 80 home at the end az The
session with pretty nearly ln his i0.Oll IN
his pocket OF on bis bank account
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-06

sea island cotton, SIS. SS7; LII round bales
cotton, $50 769; 3073 square bales cotton.
$149, 2s9; 109 barrels rosin, $500. Cargo
various.
Per Norwegian steamship Bogstad for
Bremen.4,G64 bales cotton, $1S7,S74; $50
bales linters, Sc, 1876; ,450 bales upland, sos
1896; 2,31S tons Florida phosphate, $23. 1SO;
10i4 sawn pitch pine timber $3.50; 80
barrels pitch, $500; 736 sacks cotton seed
meal, $74S.-Cargo various.
Per British steamship Alton for Ant
werp via Bremen .-5,225 bales cotton, $249, :
S19; 1926 tons phosphate, $22 $50; 1850 bar
rels rosin, $3,645; $500 bales cotton, $119,-
III; 1,721 round bales cotton, $9O,226. AZ. -
Cargo various.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1900-04-06
shining Memoranda.

Charleston. S. c., April 5.-Arrived,
steamers Comanche. Pennington, Jackson
Vile and proceeded TO New York; Iroquois,
Kemble, New York, proceeded to jack
sonville; schooner William H. Sumner,
Pendleton, New York.
Sailed, steamer Ilsenstein Ger, Hamer,
Bremen.
Port Tampa. Fla, April 5.-Arrived
steamer Olivette, Smith, Havana, via Key
West.
sailed. steamer Mascotte, Miner, Key
West and Havana.
jacksonville. Fla, April 5.-Cleared,
schooners Edward G. Hight, johnson,
Baltimore: w. T. Donnell, Norton. Phil
adelphia; Robert A. Snyder, Guthrie Phil
adelphia Emily f. Northam, Penniwell,
Philadelphia.
Key West, Fla, April 5.-Arrived,
steamers Miami. Delano Miami and sailed
for Havana: City of Key West, Bravo,
Miami and returned; schooners A. -.
Merrill Jamaica; Goodwill (Br), Sweet
ing Nassau.
Fernandina. Fla. April 5.-Cleared.
schooner Laura c. Anderson, Harris, New
York.
New Orleans. April 5.-The steamship
Knight Bachelor, Pain, master, cleared
to-day for Cape Town, Africa, with 1872
mules for the British army.
Pensacola. Fla, April 5.-Arrived,
steamship Agnes (Nor). Halversen, Banes,
Cuba and Puerto Plata.
Sailed ship Dharwan (swedD, Lundall,
ST. Petersburg; bark Frigga (Nor), Wiese,
Buenos Ayres.
Cleared, bark Prospect CNo), Lawson,
GOo,e.