davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10
wit of an Irish Judge

One day Lord Norris was sitting at
the Four Courts as lord chief Justice
OF Ireland, when young barrister
r trom the north rose nervously to
make his first motion. The Judge had
declared that NO ONE listening to him.
self would ever take him for anything
but an freshman, which was perfectly
correct. But Galway could not under
stand Antrim. The lord chief justice
leaned over to ask the associate where
the barrister hailed from.
County Antrim" was the response.
Then asked the lordship of the off,
eial: did we liver come across SIGH a
frightfu accint in yer lOif?"
At another time DIT fell to his lot to
hear a case at Coleraine i'm which dam.
ages were claimed from a veterinary
surgeon for having poisoned valu-
able horse. The issue depended upon
whether a certain number Of grains
of a particular drug could be safely
administered to the animal. The dis.
pensary doctor proved that he had
often given eight grains to man,
from which it was inferred that
twelve for horse was not excessive.
"Never mind yer eight grains, doch.
ter" said the Judge. Eve all know
that some poisons are cumulative in
effect, and We may go to the edge of
ruin with impunity. But tell me this:
The twelve grains-wouldn't they kill
the divil himself if he swallowed
them?"
The doctor was annoyed and pom
pousiy replied: II don't know, my
lord; never had him for patient"
From the bench came the answer !:
"Ah no, dochter, We nivir had, more's
the pityl The old bhoy's still alive
London Telegraph.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10
Facts Stated by
My Former
Patients.
IF You Are Afflicted With
Rupture Don't Fail
to Read them.
My Guarantee is Valuable Be-
cause You do Not Pay Me
One Cent Until You Are
Well,

/ present to the readers of this paper
. few testimonial letters and names of
former patients whom l have cured of
rupture, believing that the afflicted
would rather correspond with some one
who has been cured than read what I
might say about myself. They can more
fully investigate and convince them
selves as to the merits Of my treatment.
| could use this entire space singing my
own praises, but believe the state ent
OF those have cured will be more salts
factory to the afflicted. / will ask you
to write to any or all of them. If you
are satisfied with what they say about
my reliability and methods of treatment,
write to me or call and see me- Remem-
Der that in all cases / guarantee a cure
and do not accept one cent of money un-
til you are well. Consultation by mail
or in person is entirely free. will be
pleased to correspond with you regard
ing your case.
DIR. ERNEST HENDERSON.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10
DOCTORS MISTAKES
Are Usually Buried Six Feet Under Gruuud,
But Hene Are Two Executions.

When, after suffering two years with
what was called appendicitis, Mr.. John
Boland of 219 No. 18th street, Omaha,
was told by the leading physicians and
surgeons of Nebraska that he would
have to undergo an operation and have
a part of his antony removed, he
formally bid farewell to the world and
all he knew, for he had known of 9TH
ers who had travelled the same dan
gerous road. Just before he submitted
TO the operation he met a friend who
suggested that he try the new treat
ment-"Magnetic Osteopathy." He said
ne would not take the treatment, blu,
would consult with Prof. Kharas and
zee what he would do later. Prof
tAharas, as the originator of this new
tc.ence OF curing diseases without
rugs, feels the responsibility of life
nd death" cases, so he examined Mr.
i'oiand carefully-told him he had nc
ippendicitis at all. His trouble proved
D be simply nervo-muscular stric-
ire or the small intestine (duodenuru).
he professor SO accurately described
ine difference between the actual ex-
sting condition and an appendicital
condition that Mr.. Boland saw he had
been humbugged By the medical and
iurgical practitioners. and took
weeks treatment. costing him IS. at
he Kharas Headquarters in Omaha,
mo Is now sound and well and hard
1t work. He Is loud and enthusiastic in
praise of Magnetic Osteopathy and the
hharas System. He realizes that he
would probably have been a buried
mistake II he had followed the advice
4 the surgeons, for they very much
dislike to have their mistakes come to
lght, and when they chop into a mans
works and see that they were "off''
mere Is only one way to prevent the
World from knowing the result-"The
latient failed to rally from the opera
ION as we expected" etc. Every day
We read of their mistakes!
Miss Kit Distelhorst was EXPECTING
so to the hospital for an oDeration
he following day, when a relative sug-
esteo that she see Kharas She did.
he operation would have cost her
LEO. besides, had ii been successful
be loss OF two very important parts
4 her anatomy. and the surgeons gave
Ter very, very little hope for recovering
rom the operation at sill. AS q result
VI her coming to Prof. Kharas she Is
now sound and well. She took siA
weeks treatment. spent $50 and is. as
she aptly expresses it, "all in one
,iece yet" This mention of her name
3 made with her express consent, and
he will gladly inform any inquirer OF
he truth OF the statement who will
write her at her home. Poll Cass street
omaha, Neb. A long list of testimoni-
It's and positive proofs may be had by
writing Prof. Kharas. 1515-17 Chicago
treet. Omaha. Neb. Literature free
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10
perfect Health wi hout DO tors Bill.


The perfect and continual health OF
ones self and dear ones should be the
first aim of man. This may positively
be obtained without the cost OF one
cent for doctor bills, and 1 will be
pleased to send full particulars in my
little booklet free to all who ask for
1t. The public has been 'gulled" and
cheated until many think all offers OF
this character are fake, but when
you receive my little book you will
see that this is an honest offer.
have somtthing to sell, OF course, but
it only costs trifle and Is the grand
est scientific invention Of the age. 1t
cures disease by utilizing oxygen from
the air. making pure blood, the reby
removing the cause. I have not space
to tell you all about 1t here, but if you
will send me your name will be glad
to do so. Thousands of testimonials
from people whom it has cured. some
of them, probably, known 10 you.
Write today, as it will cost you moth.
ing and you can judge for yourself
after you read all about It.
WILLARD A. JONES.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

For twenty-thres years we have ma
speciality. During that time we have
parts of the United States. We prefer
they say, therefore have had printed
addresses of our former patients, viii
free. We treat nearly as many wome
timonials in newspapers. However, W
testimonials, which we will send, free
our books, in which you will undoubt
to the signers of testimonials. enclosin
Ry regarding our treatment, methods
for consultation or examination, ell y
you, guarantee cure, and do not ask
isfied you are cured. Below we menti
this year. Their testimonials are not
In the off,
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

There came loud knock on the
door. The mean man leaned from the
window.
who is there?" he demanded.
"We," responded two voices. "For-
tune and Opportunity. We knock at
your door,"
"Well, you are two chumps. Do
you suppose had that SO electric
bel put in for an oruament? Either
ring or move on"
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

1aE rOLLOWlN9 HAVE BEEN CURED
OF RUPTURE, AND ARE SELECTED AT
RANDOM FROM MANY HAVE CUREa.
IN WRITING THEM PLEASE ENCLosB
A. STAMP FOR ANSWER,
Mike Gaynor, e. Ewing St., Kansas City, Ka
A. r. Olson, Mcpherson. Kas.
Robert J. Brock county attorney, Manhattan,
\. Kent, 4ol Orchard St.. Chicago, III.
oscar Diilon. Dol Campbell St., Kansas City,
b. n. Mcdonald. Denison. Kas.
D. r. Dooos. 1920 N. 18th St., Kansas City Kas,
Young, 34iS Windsor Ave-, Kansas City, Mo,
J s Hammick. plumbing. 10 E. 9Th ST., Kan
Thos. Ba1o, Kansas City, No.
w. c. Peak, grocer, 81 Central Ave-, Kansas
N. s. WEIGH. care Goodlander Milling Co., Fl.
DR.. T. T. Parker. 1917 Brooklyn Ave. Kansas
City, Mo.
Herman Bagull. Kansas City, Mo,
VIM. Lynn, Ransom Kas.
d. g. Hartzell, 7le Felix st., 81. Joe, Mo.
Fred Harper. POLL Indiana Ave., Kansas City,
William weltman. 40 Lands Court, Kansss
Rev. F. Pfeifrer, sedalia. Mo.
r. ]. Champion, Armour Station, Kansas City,
1T: Wood merchant. Greenwood. Jackson
Chas T. Hummer. 4s4 Edmond St.. St. Joe Mo
Will Castor. u y. Spring Ave-. st. Louis, No.
FRED fnares, GIT Cherry ST., Kansas City Mo.
4. G Gem1fes 81 Kansas IIss City IN Mo-
Mo.
Thomas Mcmahon, 7o4 N 7th St., ST. Louis,
Mo.
4. W: Dement,. restaurant keeper 100 E. 18th
Child IL months old
g. F. Shaw assistant county surveyor linda.
pendence, Mo.
washington Baker, Hairs Summit, Kas.
Kas.
". l. Gray, stanberry, Mo.
w. T. Wingate, Amity Mo.
Earl Maxwell. Va,'ey Falls Kas
z. Sandy, 7a6 Kansas Ave Kansas City. Ras
James Mchockin. o32 Tullis Court, Kansas
City. Mo.
City, Mo.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

de the treatment Of rectal troubles .
cured thousands of people from at
that you would be governed by what
book containing the testimonials and
eh we will be pleased to send to you
n as men. but do not publish their ties
have a neat book containing their
to any lady requesting it. Send for
eddy find the names of friends; write
g stamp for reply, and see what they
and reliability. We make no charge
on just what the treatment will cost
for one cent Of pay until you are sat
on ew cases that have been cured
in our book, but we have them on 6le
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10
ooNoRRssMAN BOUrELLk.
Democrats viii Contest His Title ss
Nanf.

E1ts Seat.
A recent Washington special 90 the
Chicago daily News says: Another
attempt to keep a member elect our of
his seat will likely be made at the
Opening of the 57th Congress, which
b bound to be a hard fought battle.
and ONE that will stand absolutely
alone and without precedent, as was
the Roberts case in the last Congress.
The case ds that of Representative
Boutelle of the Fourth Maine district,
who was suddenly stricken down ~
q madady that deprived him of his
reason, so that he has since been con.
fined to the asylum. Although he Is
sadd to be slightly on the gain at
present, it has not been believed that
he would ever again be able TO resume
his seat in the House.
"And yet, in spite of all these facts,
Ais constituents have felt such a
strong sympathy for his affiiction that
they would not consent to replace him
with another man, but early last sum-
mer renominated him for his ninth
term in The House, and ait the election
recently held, they reelected him by
a majority of 10000. Now it is under
stood that the National Democratic
Committee insists that his opponent,
who was defeated by such small ma
1ority, shall contest his right to the
seat, ON the ground that at the time
Of his nomination he was incapaci-
tated mentally, and that being in that
condition he was not eligible to stand
as a candidate for that Office, and that
the election was therefore void.
mfr Boutelle was nominated and
elected upon queer grounds. 1t was
PANTY sentiment in favor of an unfor-
turSte man that caused his re-elect-
ton, but 1t was much more because
the Governor OF Maine desired his re-
election for personal reasons. The
governor hopes to inherit the seat al
ter Mr.. Boutelhe is through with it,
but as the people of the state insist
that he must finish out his term he is
not yet ready to take the new posi-
don. Knowing that 1t is the custom
IN that state to keep their congress-
men in office for long term of years,
the governor and his friends did not
wish to have a new man elected this
year for he would naturally desire to
hold on for some time, and thus would
be In the governor way when he has
finished his present duties and is ready
TO be a congressman. 1t was easy,
then, for the governor and his friends
to induce Mr.. Boutelle's friends to re-
nominate him, although it was not
probable that he would be able even
TO serve out his present term. The
case will be watched with much in
terest and the outcome can not now be
predicted"
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10
Why HI. Kicked

For reasons which will assert them
selves herein, the names of the partie.
who figure in this story can not b,
mentioned. Both were well known
actors.
They met on Broadway one day, amt
the following conversation took place:
First Actor understand you ar,
attacking my character among mn
friends.
Second Actor-What of it. 1 admit
4 said number of things about you
First Actor-That's just wbat In
kicking about. You can lie about me-
all you please, but you've got to quiz
telling things you have been telling.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

The launching of the first vessel at
the Nixon yard, Elizabethport, N. j.,
has taken place. 1t is torpedo boat,
painted green and named O'Brien, in
honor Of an Irishman.
The most satisfactory way to live
ON Is cents a day is in theory.-Chi-
.ago Record.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

An Irishman went to lawyer with
a case, but the attorney wanted a re-
tainer. The Irishman was poor, and
finally the lawyer said he would take
the case on a contingent fee.
It was settled, but the contingent
fee part of the agreement bothered
the client. He confided his ignorance
TO his friend Paddy, and asked for an
explanation.
AN it is the meanin' of contin-
gent fee yer after KNOWN? Shure,
I'll tell We! A contingent fee means
that it We lost the case the lawyer
gifts nothin'; if We win We git nothin'. .
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

w. w. Fluke, Of 1918 Oak Stree.
Kansas City, No., contracted piles
while In the army; was treated fifteen
years ago and had no return Of the
trouble until this spring, when, by
over-exertion he became again affliot.
ed. We gave him two treatments, free
and under date of May 8, 1900, he
writes that he is entirely well again,
and 10 daily praising God and DR.
Minor.-H afflicted, wr.te to him for
particulars OF his case and our meth.
DDS.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

t-tj3i5-. slssf
nix distinct 1skn1as whicA DISCHARGED
all the time, besides . had case Of
piles. He was entirely cured end
writes that he considers the cure per
maneEk Mr.. Wright IL Q cattlemas
much Of His tims being spent in ths
saddle and sway from home, 20 thai
leeesFe written (. him may net Ii
answered e. promptly a. they o&hs.
wise would be--H afflicted, write q
him for the r ticulars of his cas-.
and our me<hods.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

One OF the sparse population of
Juan Fernandez, Alexander Selkirk's
island, is a Swede who leads a her.
mit's life. He hardly speaks to his
neighbors and he subsists on the pro-
duct of a small garden and by fishing.
Spare Moments.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

10 whom it may concern:
This Will certify that have taken DR. Ernest
Hendersons treatment for rupture and that
fEd 1t entirely successful / have examined 4
number OF patients that he has treated and I
find that permanent cure has been made in
every case examined. I have watched this
treatment for some time. as have been in this
line OF business myself, having been an expert
truss hitter for number of years. I believe
this Is the most rational treatment of the day.
and that he will be successful in every case. [
would most heartily recommend anyone with Q
rupture to consult DR. Henderson
Very respectfully yours
JACOB WEITZEL, Independence, No.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

Peter Dalrymple Of IT. Scott, Kan,
had suffered for many ye&.s with q
complication Of rectal diseases, piles,
fistula and alterations, and received
only temporary relief from the treat
ment by various physicians. Mr.. Dal-
rymple, who L. a prominent and well
known citizen of Ft. Scott, writes
that he was not only cured by US, but
that the cure was permanent.-If a.
hicted write to him for particulars Of
his case and our methods.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

1t is useless to look backward and
long for the bright state of things
that viii never come again; burt the
course of true wisdom is TO look
forward, and if possible try to grasp
the aims OF God IN these wonderful
changes and seek to be what he would
have US DO be in their midst and in
the peril Of their administration.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

Another peculiarly is that the op
posite cliffs Of the hill have Opposite
magnetic poles. As the Dornburg IL
composed of basalt it contains much
iron. Tt is probable that the interior
of the hill are large iron deposits
possibly of magnetic iron, and thai
eralization oftheir widest ambitions
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

VIM 81. Keller, Hennessey, Ok, had
q nstula which extended out on one
side Of his hip, connecting with the
bowels abeut four inches from the
rectum. His was . very serious case
but after two weeks treatment he re-
turned to his home and went to work
at his trade, entirely and permanent
~ cured.-If afflicted, write to him
for particulars of his case and our
methods.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

The distance from New York to San
Francisco by water, around Cape
Horn. is 1860 miles. By the 18TH
main canal the distance between the
same points would be 1907 miles-a
saving of 10.753 miles.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

VIM. Ta>e Of Henrietta, Texas, was
cured OF a case of piles of over fifteen
years sta ding. He says he had spent
a fortune fl drugs and remedies but
got no relief until he came to us.-If
afflicted write to him for particulars
of his case and our methos.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

429 New Ridge Bldg, Kansas City, Mo.
AGENTS WANTED to sell INCAN-
DESCENT VAPOR GAS LAMPS. 100
candle power. NO TORCH. Quickly
lighted. Latest designs. Write STUDE-
BAKER GAS LIGHTING co.
Kansas City, Mo. A $50 Main st.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

Dr. Ernest Henderson kansas CITY. No
Dear Doctor:-I wish to state that can uoss
neartiiy recommend your rupture treatment
since early youth had been seriously troubled
with q right scrotal rupture that was pro-
nonnced BY doctors to be fncura BILE except pos-
apiy. oy dangerous surgical operation. Hear
ing OF your treatment determined to try the
same and am glad I did so. for, after taking
your treatment but three weeks am now sound
for 1t. ~ sAeina
II this letter viii do you any good would be
gao 70 nave You publish the same and hope
your treatment and be cured
Yours respectfully,
WIN. LYNN Ransom Ka
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

Arthur Saiger, S. E. corner 10th and
Walnut STREETS, Kansas City. Mo-, was
cured of very bad fistula after con-
sulting other physicians and trying nu-
merous remedies.--f afflicted, write
to him for the particulars of his case
and our methods.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

Perhaps one of the most conscien-
tious of royal diary keepers ID the
empress of Germany, whose daily
record no one ever sees, not even the
emperor himself. Each year a new
diary is begun and the old one. with
los lock clasp, is put away with the
preceding ones In an iron safe, which
Is kept locked.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

a. =. Foreman, Cottonwood Falls,
Kan., had q bad case Of piles and As
sure for over twelve years. Was con-
lined to his bed half ihe time. Tried
every remedy and numerous phyn.
clans. Was cured by us in four weeks
III afflicted, write to him for particu-
lars OF his case and our methods.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

In his annual report. the British
Acting Consul at Zanzibar mentions
the sale of pair of elephant tusks
lO1s feet from base to tip and weigh
ing 239 and 224 pounds respectively.
He describes them as probably larger
than any others hitherto found in any
part OF the world. The purchaser
gave $4,000 for the pair.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

Frank Strain, of Phalipsburg, Kan,
was troubled with piles thirty years
and cured by US in less than four
weeks. Mr.. Strain, ~ho O. probate
Judge OF Phillips county,, win answer
all inquiries If stamp IL enclosed for
reply.-H afflicted, write to him for
particulars Of his case and our meth.
ods.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

A democratic administration in.
creased the national debt by S262 600,
600 in time Of profound peace, yet
Bryan is inyeighing against . big
bonded debt.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

You don't seem to be able to stand
hot weather" remarked the doctor.
No." said the pessim;stic patient, eft
always worries me to think about how
cold it's going to be next winter
Philadelphia Record.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

o. II. Hayes, North Enid, Okla, was
entirely cured of bleeding piles of
long standing.-If afflicted write to
him for particulars of his case and
our methods.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

j. W. Nsttleship, Fayetteville, Ark,
was cured of rectal troubles, and in
his testimonial states that he has
gained twenty pounds since he took
the treatment.-If afflicted write to
him for particulars of his case and our
methods.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

Thomas Sweeney, Kansas City. Mo-,
had case Of piles. assure and fistua
Of long standing. Was entirely. cured
in a short time.-If afflicted, write to
him for particulars and our methods.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

"You all know lfistah Darby" the
colored orator said. Hes bus ness
man. Hes prominent citizen. He
runs de biler wroks. He dom employ
any niggahs, dafs all right, niggahs
KANT make bilersv
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

M. W. Bennett, Kansas City, Mo-,
was cured of fistula Of long standing.
Says he feels like ID new man and en-
joys better health than ever.-If af-
fiicted, write to hiI, 70: particulars Of
his case and our methods.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

w. Huttig, of the Western Sash and
Door Co., Kansas City, Mo-. was cured
of a bad case of rectal troubles.-If
afflicted. write to him for particulars
Of his case and our methods.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

B. S. Chambers, Kansas City. Mo-,
was cured of a serious case Of piles,
and advises all sufferers to take the
treatment.-If afflicted, write to him
for particulars of his cas- and our
methods.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

Socrates had some good, old-fash-
toned notions. AS he used to saunter
around III Athens he was accustomed
TO say: "a horse is not known by
his trappings. but qualities; so men
are to be esteemed for virtue, not
wealth.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1900-10-10

Hon. J. w. Bailey of Texas denies
The story that he has bet $4,000 on
the pending presidential election, and
says he has not wagered dollar ON.
amy election for fifteen years.