The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1900-11-07
his. GALLUp's LasEHTs.
no" a Locking Glass aud Black Cat
Brought Her TrcubIe

a. was dlttf supper and Mr.. Gallup had
gone out TO feed the pig and see that the
hehhOuse door was closed for the night
he had performed tlese duties and was
on his way back to the kitchen door
when he heard MIS- Gallup utter a long
drawn shrek He gave no start of alarm:
neither did he increase his pace. As a
matter Of fact, he stopped to roll barrel
farther away from the path. When he
reached the doorstep. he put down the
swirl pail In its accustomed spot to q
hairs breadth. entered the kitchen 10
wash his hands and hang up his hat and
| II was several minutes before he entered
the sitting-room. Mrs Gallup was lying
on the lounge. He did not look directly
at her but he knew she was there. He
asked 10 questions, but he was satisfied
| that she had one Of her ''spells' on. He
sat Gown, with great jar. In his favorite
chair, pulled of his boots. with a grunt
for each boot. and, selecting a book on
Fowls and Their Care" from the shelf
| began 10 read. He had read the book fifty
times before, but had become interested
In the statement that speckled hens were
more liable TO the pip than white or black
ones. when Mrs. Gallup recovered con-
sciousness-that is, she opened her ewes
uttered a sigh, and fetched a groan, and
sat up. She fully expected Mr.. Gallup
would ask her what had happened, or. at
least, look in her direction, but lust then
he was busy with the poultry books state
ment that a red rag tied to the tail of a
wOuld-be sitting hen will scare her out of
the idea. When a long two minutes had
passed, Mrs. Gallup concluded that some
thing ought TO be said. and she began:
Samuel, | want TO talk to you a few
minits before | perish. You know | hey
bin eXpectin' to be summoned any day
for the last ten years, or since that COW
kicked me over the heart. While you were
out feedin' the hog. the summons came. I
caught sight of the back of my head in
the loOkin'-glass jest as strange black
eat run across the kitchen floor. That
was the way Mary Arm Davis and Hammer
Sly received their summons, and there
amt no doubt that I'll be in heaven be-
fore sunrise"
Mr.. Gallup scratched the back of his
neck with one hand and held the book
with the other as he read that some
geese had been known to live to the age
OF hfteen years, but he had no remarks
TO offer.
l don't want 10 annoy you while you
are readin," continued Mrs Gallup, as
the lounge, 10 use as handkerchief; "but.
as never died before. / think you kin
bear with me a little. The first thing TO
be done after I expire, Samuel, is to hev
me laid out. The nayburs will cheerfulIy
do that want to be dressed in that gray
dress you bought he six years ago. Be
particular about that, because it's the only
one l ever had that fits me across the
shoulders. / don't want to go TO heaven
IN dress all hLnehed up. / want to hey
my hands folded and a pink hollyhock in
my nngers. / shall try to expire with a
smile on my face, so as to look nv very
best, and if my mouth is shet nobody will
notice my old teeth. Samuel, are yod fol-
lerin' me?'
He wasn't He was following the author
Of the poultry book where he stated that
ducks were strangely influenced by music,
and had been known TO go to sIeep when
a fiddle was being played. Mrs. Gallup
toyed with her tears for an interval and
then said:
That's all about me. Samuel. You
needn't git up no big funeral or go to any
big expense. The rest is about you. Even
If you don't marry ag'in within four
weeks, you'll want soft soap fur the win
ter. The soap grease is down cellar In a
49, anu ~ az EOOu cDdD grease dS any
body ever had. When you are bilin' your
soap don't furgit to lay a sassafras stick
across the kittle. l think you'll hev TO
buy a new tablecloth some time before
spring I've made the last one do fur two
years, but it's beginnin' TO go. It's got
three holes right in the middle However.
if you don't marry you won't mind a holy
tablecloth. You know about the wash
biler don't yOu?"
Mr. Gallup refused TO answer that ques-
ton by even lifting his eyebrows. The
statement that gander had been known
20 commit suicide through disappointed
love interested him to the exclusion of ali
else.
THE biler leaks in four different places, |
Samuel. and has fur two years, and Pm
afraid you'll hev 10 git it mended. I'd
hev tried 10 hang on 10 it fur another
year If hadn't bin gOin' to- die, but now |
us my duty 10 tell you. And I'm afraid |
your second wife Will want you 10 git her !
a new wahboard. I've made ours DO fur |
nine years, and il only cost Is cents at |
nrSt, but it's beginnin' 10 crinkie and no. !
body kin be blamed fur it, Now, let's see |
Mrs. Taylor owes me two cups OF brown |
sugar. II she cries much at my funeral !
you needn't ask her fur them, but IL she |
only sheds tear or two she must pay |
EN- back. Then Mrs Jackson has q fac |
iron Of mine with broken handle Shes |
bin sayin fur a year or two that shed /
bring il back but she hasn't done IT, ~ |
amt good fur anything as a Aatiron, bat |
you want il 10 crack hutternuts with 1
Samuel, DO you remember when the |
preacher ate supper at Joe Whites? II |
was two years ago this fail / think ana
just about the time I fell into the cistern' 4
Mr. Gallup did not open his mouth in re- /
ply. He had reached a chapter In the !
book wherein IL stated that roOsters /
CTaWed in the early morning not 10 vel /
come daylight. but 10 scare poiecats away /
and he was 0bliviOus OF al else.
well, what | was gOln 10 say" con- /
tinued Mrs. Gallup, as she wiped her eyes /
was that ] believed she soTrered a nut
meg Of me on that occasion 10 make a l
custard and has never paid Il back If
she lends you any chairs FUR the funeral I
and seems to feel real bad that I'm gone /
YOU needn't mention about the nutmeg
but IL she don't you might jog her about /
ii. l owe Sarah Ann Johnson q pinch OF I
bakin soda, and ] owe Melissa Farewell 1
some ginger, and l want you TO pay Ii as 4
soon as I'm buried. You'll find mayWeed I
smaTtWe6d. catnip. and spearmint hangin' I
up In the garrett and in the old sugar bowl |
on the top shelf In the pantry is the stick
in salve and the mutton taller In ease /
YOU git a sore heel. That's all. Samuel 1
I'm ieaYin everything so you'll heY no
trouble, and now and then, even when
you are playln' checkers with your second
wife, hope youl think OF me. hope-I
Al this point she broke down and
sobbed. but even had she laughed instead
Mr. Gallup would not have remarked m 4
He was reading a statement that in olden
times hens used 10 lay eggs as big as
pumpkins and that one such egg hitting i
temperance lecturer In the collar plexus i
would have caused instant death. The /
sobs finally worked OF, and Mrs. Gallun /.
said
Never mind what hOpe. I've cot nv 1
summons. put my house in order, an i 4
now I'll expire. GoOG-by, Samuel. ami
good-by all"
She turned and stretched out on the 4
lounge and vas heard from no more
After Mr. Gallup had read OF brakes who +
died OF hOmeslckness- OF geese who formed
personal attachments for cows, of heHs
who learaed 10 know a farmers whistle {
from a lightning rod mans topical song,
he closed the book and rose up with "a 4
"hO-humf and looked arouSd. Airs Gal /,
up was sound asleep, and be nas 70 funk /
her three times on the chin 10 rouse her i
up and let her know that IL was past bed |
time.