davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
A VALUABLE WILD BEAST.
The Gorilla IL Hard to Capture and
Always In Demand.

AT the present time there is no wild
animal in such great demand for exhibit
ton purposes as the gorilla" said a deal
or in all kinds of wild beasts in New
York to the writer the other day. "A
full grown gorilla stands about + feet u
inches high and is worth from 81 200 to
81 800. They sell easily for such prices,
owing to the fact that they are rare and
very difficult to capture. Chiefs in the
interior of Africa have been offered large
sums il they would succeed in catching
one of these beasts. Numbers OF little
gorillas have been captured at various
times, but they have always pined away
and died in a short time. The chief diff
Guilty about the capture Of the gorilla is
that he lives in very unhealthy districts,
where fevers prevail
"a white man has to fight the climate
as we'll as the animals. In addition to
the well known ferocity of the gorilla, he
is regarded with superstitious awe by
the natives, who have legend to the eff
feet that this terrible beast carries away
the women to the jungles. They also re-
gard the gorilla as endowed with super
natural powers. Two men sent out last
year by a well known German firm that
deals in wild beasts persisted in the wlds
of Africa while seeking gorillas.
1T may seem surprising to an Ameri-
can, equipped with all the appliances Of
science for the subjugation Of the animal
kingdom, that it is almost impossible to
capture and cage gorilla But if his
fearful strength is considered and his
wonderful shyness it will prove to be not
so much a matter of surprise Mt all. All
kinds of suggestions have been made to
hunters with regard to the devices to be
used, such as traps, pitfalls and like APP
planes, but none Of these has proved
TO be successful
zone of the largest gorillas ever cap
tured belongs to the geological gardens
in London. The animal stands 4 feet
inches high. 1t is so valuable that offers
of 1,S00 and $1,000 have been made
without acceptance. "-Washington Star.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
Chicago Dialect.

When teachers or principals % 'he
Chicago schools misuse the English
idiom, twist up their grammatical coA-
struction and slide into bad colloQuiIl-
isms, it is simply a lapse into "Chca-
geese The district superintendent, II
schools came to this opinion at their re-
cent cabinet meeting after they had con-
sidered the charges OF school trustees
that the teachers do not understand the
language and cannot use or teach II cor
rectly.
Whatever faults there might be in the
school English the superintendent dec
cided to be the result of local dialcei.
When a teacher says that ain t or 1t
don't" splits her infnitives, uses adj
jectives where adverbs should be used,
ends sentence with a proposition, ASS
where something lis at" places mod-
flying clauses out of order, forgets the
conjugation of her verbs or does any Il
the other things of which trustees COM
plain. it is simply lapse into local dla-
lect, according to the supcrintendents
Spelling is not taught in the primary
grades from textbooks" said Suporin-
tendent Sabin, but it is in the elemen-
tary grades. When the teachers use bad
English, they simply lapse into Chicago
dialect, in which they were brought up.
They are nearly all Chicago born. '--Ghi-
cage Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
willing Testim ony.

'How do Won like your new typewrit-
err inquired the agent.
It's grand was the immediate reply.
81 wonder how | ever got along without
it"
"Well, would you mind giving me a lit
tie testimonial to that effect?"
"Certainly not DO it gladly" So he
rolled ~ his sleeves and in an incredibly
short time pounded out this:
After Using the amtonating Backac-
ton type writ, or for tire emonth and
Over, | unhessttattingly pronounce it
pronoce it to be al even more than the
Manufacture Claim? for it During the
time been in possession j. tn rec month
ri id has more than paid for itself in the
saving Of it an dlabor.-John $ Gibbs"
There you are sir"
Thanks" said the agent and most
quickly went away.-Columbian,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
TOO MUCH INTRODUCING.
what nm EnGiishman Has TO Say
About our Method.

at took me some time to grasp the
American point of view in regard to let
tiers of introduction said au English
traveller, chatting over American charac-
tcristics. when we give man letter
of introduction at home we consider that
we are vouchng for him socially, finan
cnllv and every other way, SO, needless
to say. it is never done except among rel
ativcs or the closest friends. Here you
don't seem to take the thing seriously.
when | was in Washington last week,
| was introduced to very pleasant gen
tlcman in the real estate business and
CHANGED to mention that | was going to
Nashville next day. oh, indeed. he said.
Then I'll just give you line to an old
chum of mine there And Immediately he
took pad of paper and began writing.
BY the way he remarked after jotting
down few words, L didn't catch your
name exactly. What is the proper spell
ingY
"'rhe idea of stranger giving me n
letter of introduction to an intimate
friend when he didn't even know my
name struck me as very strange and
amusing However. took it with thanks
and later found the Nashville man a very
charming fellow. When | left, he in
sisted on giving me n note TO n friend in
Memphis, who proved equally charming
aud who in turn supplied me with an in
PRODUCTION TO a prominent clubman here
in New Orleans.
"Thc last letter l haven't presented
and don't intend to, because it contains a
glaring though inadvertent MEASUREMENT
in referring to me as an old and cherished
friend of the good naturcd gentlemen Of
Nashville and Washington. The process,
as you see has bull. me up an entirely
fictitious character. and. pom my word. l
can't understand why such friendlnebs is
not continually ana outragcously abused
by impostors I'm sure it would be on
our side of the water New Orleans
TimeS-Democrat.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
A New Use For Balloons.

NJ. Letorey, French architect, has
applied the captive balloon to the clean
ing or decorating of cupolas, high roofs,
towers / monuments. The balloon can
be raised or lowered from wagon by a
windass, and it can be steadied by stays
from the side OF the envelope 1t has two
platforms, or "nacelles." one on the top.
the other underneath and these commu-
nicate by a ladder up a central tube.
The balloon scaffold." as it is called,
might be useful and safe in many opera
tons, such as now require steeple jacks
for example, the wrcathing of Nelson $
column and also in wireless tclcgraphy
rs an aerial tation.-London Globe.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
In the Wrong House.

Some of the delegates TO the recent
Methodist general conference in Chicago
had difficulty in finding the churches and
other buildings in which the afternoon
committee meetings were held. One
afternoon a group of delegates who We're
looking for the First Methodist church
building, in which committee meet
ing was to be held, wandered into
the beautiful building of the Central
Young Mems Christian association, in
Lasalle street. They opened various
doors on the first floor, looking for their
brethren. and finally got into the nata-
torium, with the huge swimming bath
Immediately before them. Surely there
is some mistake about this" said one
of the delegates, as he looked at the big
pool This isn't Baptist confer
.nce
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
How Gas Eats Up Air.

A significant hint in behalf OF the use
of lamps is found in the fact that in for
lists greenhouses they are used exclusive
ly. Gas is deadly to plant life, while
burning kerosene is not Where one is
boarding and must sleep in the same
room in which one sits during the evening
lamp should invariably be used. The
same rule holds good for the family sit
ting room and for the rooms in which
children are studying.
An experiment involuntarly tried by a
mother recently demonstrated the effect
of the ordinary Illuminating gas on the
air Of an apartment. In Il hall bedroom
a single jet was loft burning unnoticed
for an hour or more the door and win
dow being shut. When the room was en-
tered suddenly, the air, or want Of it, was
so overpowering that the person recoiled
and could not cross the room either to
open the window or put the gas out until
the door had been left open for a minute
or two.--New York Post
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
MARRIAGE IN FRANCE.
Laws That Render Elopcments az
Very Infrcauept Occurrence.

Elopcments are of very infrequent oc.
currcncc in France, a fact that is due in
large measure to the peculiarly Of the
French law pertaining TO marriages. Not
only must the contracting parties up to
any age have the written consent of their
parents, but also In case Of the death OF
their parents they must obtain the con.
sent of their grandparents.
Here Is case instanced by n CORE.
spondent whose friend Suzanne II. was
engaged to Henri 5. Both were orphans,
yet it was several months before the GER
emory could be performed because of the
number of papers and certificates which
were necessary for the celebration Of
their nuptials. No less than If certii-
Gates were absolutely Indispensable, and
Suzanne, as well as her iiancc, was
obliged to show in default of their par
ents' presence or written consent:
First her fathers death certificate;
second. her mothers death certificate;
third, her fathers fathers death ccrtii-
cate; fourth, her fathers mothers death
certificate; fifth, her mothers fathers
death certificate; sixth, her mothers
mothers death certificate; seventh, her
own birth certificate. Several months
elapsed before all these papers could be
got together
When at last all was ready, Suzanne
b. appeared at the marie and inquired
when she might be married. Have you
the consent OF your conseil de familleY'
0amily counsel, who regulates the af-
fairs of orphans and minors) was the
question. "No; my parents died intcs-
tate" "Then you can't be legally mar
red." But have no conseil dc famille."
"Well, then get one as soon as possible,
was the reply.
And poor Suzanne was forced to write
to all her relatives in all corners OF
France. many of whom she had never
seen, and ask them to come up to Paris
to form conseil de famille. After much
expense, worry and trouble, not to speak
Of lawyers fees, etc, the various mem
bers Of the conscil de famile were at last
collected together to give their consent to
the marriage of Suzanne and Henri
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
ITS SHORTEST STREET.
Boston's Citi,ens Fail to Locate II
when Questioned

To the casual visitor Boston has all
ways been peculiar for two things-its
crooked streets and its short ones.
Yet the native Bostonians could, very
few Of them, give you offhand the nama
Of their shortest thoroughfsre. They
make daily use of its convenient brevity,
but they never really think about it.
\ man who was stranger to the city
recently tried 10 get the correct answer
to the question, What is your shortest
street," The hotel clerk didn't know
and referred him TO policeman. The
policeman didn't know and sent him to
the postoflice. The postoliice people
were ignorant and directed him to tho
city hall. In that building the same
process continued until he landed in the
city engineers Office. There they got
down one Of the large aliases or charts
upon which the city street plans are
autographed
He went over this with rule while the
number Of pairs Of eyes watching over
his shoulders increased rapidly. Every
body in the Office grew interested.
An engineer of the city corps Of enCi-
neers dropped in, got down another atlas.
scanned several of its pages carefully
and finally laid his rule along Salt lane,
so,,aro
trbot i tho sbor+os+ tborougbfare-iuet
tou raat l., ior,,,h Nh,,+ IL is no, cIoesiesd
ne s.ron,
Than ,,o,.;,, bic -ro+r;col ,ro,s,,r;,,
r,,Io 49,, tbo nIon tov,rd tho rigbt M.
wont nr.
"IIora 10 >tarsh.u s+roo+ r,rrir, from,
Ir,ra,o- e. t,,ia,, s,roo, h,,, 49, - ;s IN
feot lon, ond onIy = nortion - II ba. boc,
oooo-to1 L,. ,bo oit, IL l. BOO a do,,h+f,,i
vov H., which 70 sottlo tho o,ost;o,. ,o.
looyit,c, ,hoso from tho hest ~ nv howl.
adao could sor ,t,t stoddorJ streot
ca,7noct;nc C,orr, and t1ouerd streets in
.ho n.ost ond 80 tba tow j., +ho sbor,os,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
He Kent the Ring.

A story comes from South Africa
which speaks well for the constancy Of
the British soldier Among the wounded
brought in one day from Potsgieter's
drift was a man of scanty clothing who
held something in his closed hand He
had kept his treasure in his hand for
some eight hours. He showed it to the
sister at the hospital. 1t was ring.
In explanation he said, "My girl gave me-
this ring. and when ! was hit | made up
my mind the Beers should never get it,,
SO | kept it in my hand ready to swallow
it If was taken before our stretchers
could reach me-"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14

man was no great shakes, and kin do a
heap better, but what I'm sorrerin over
is that they hain't found his body and he
has ST. in his pocket!
l stood there fur mint and looked
down upon her grief stricken form and
tried to find some sayin appropriate to
the occasion. Not bein able to hit one
] went back and climbed up on my wagon
and drove off. The town of Juba Hill
was almost in sight. and was gradually
recovern my usual speerts when I come
upon Teller man seated under a tree
by the roadside He was not weepin,
but his countenance expressed grief and
sorrer, and knew that all was no. well
with him.
Hath found the world cold and heart.
less? ?" I asks as l look him over and
smiles ut him in a brotherly way.
You might call it that way" he an.
swers after a long time.
How hath man wronged you and
brung heaviness to your hearth
at was done at poker, and Juba Hill
was the place. Two days ago l entered
the town with a song on my lips and 5000
in cash in my pocket, and l am now dead
broke, and my speerits are low. ! sat in
a game with the mayor himself, and he
was my undoin."
"Was 1t bluff" 1 asked.
'Never a once 1t was that he held the
better hands. My straights and Pushes
and full houses went fur nought. Even
when l held four aces he raked in the pot
with royal flush"
Then l know that he was a tenderfoot
from beyond the river aud that the ways
of the woolly west We're too willy fur
him. 1t was my duty as a consider of the
unfortunate and a friend Of sorrer to do
what I could fur him. and sat down be-
side him and entered into game which
was without pot In an hour he was
prepared to unhorse the enemy who had
brung him low, and, mountin to my
side, we drove into the town of Juba Hill
together. With the $40 lent him as a
stake. the refreshed pilgrim hunted up
the mayor and scooped him in as fish are
landed from the sea. He held nuthn
lower than three kings. and tours were
his whenever he desired. With tears of
gratitude in his eyes, he restored my own
to me, and the size of his Doodle was that
Of horses leg. When be had silently
departed from the sleepin town that he
might not be toyed with by the satellites
| of the mayor on the morrow, | retired to
my couch to indulge in that refreshir
slumber which clear conscience allus
brings, and as pulled off my boots
found myself hummin a song of peace
and good will, NJ. QUAD.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
In Polite Latin.

The rising poet had recited several of
his efforts to the fair young girl, and, as
rising poets usually do, he paused for
comment.
Truly" said the maiden, you are the
best specimen of Homarus americanus
have ever seem"
The rising poet was even more visibly
proud than usual until he looked in the
back of the dictionary and learned that
"Homarus americanus" was the scientific
name for lobster.
This is the result Of allowing our
daughters to read the classics and talk
slang too.-Baltimore American.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
One Mhnle With Teeth.

Speaking of whales an old whaler says
there are 81 kinds, but one of which has
teeth. The others are provided with 800
layers Of bone in the jaws. On this bone
are hairs an inch long, which separate
from the water a small germ the size of a
wheat grain. called brett. This is the only
food on which the huge animal lives. He
says that the throat of a whale is but the
size of mans fist. The mouth however,
will hold 20 people, and it is on this ac-
count that many think the whale takes
in hundreds of barrels of water. Although
the ear of a whale is but the size OF fn-
ger tip he says he has known them to
distinguish sounds at distance Of 10
miles.-Denver Republican.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14

Here is the latest anecdote concerning
the Prince of Wales: A young lady was
presented TO him at Il social function,
and, not knowing how long she should
talk to him, She navely requested him to
tell her when she should leave him. son
the contrary" said the prince, ut is for
you to tell me when you are bored"
Later his royal highness asked where
the young lady was born.
AT X. have lived there all my life"
How many years did you say you
lived there" inquired the prince.
IL am bored, sir" said the lady quiet
ly.-London Chronicle.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
In sympathy.

did you say that you love to watch
the buds of spring unfolding on the trees
and to hear the merry birds chipping as
they hop from bough to bought" ask
ed the man with a cold cast Of counte-
nance.
Yes" said the enthusiast. "That's
what ! said, | suppose you have no sym
pathy in such matters"
Eyes, | have lots Of It. was just about
to show my sympathy by telling you one
of the best remedies for coughs, colds,
sore throat and hoarseness that the drug
store can produce. w shington Star. ,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
AN ATTRACTIVE IMITATION.

He--A funny thing happened up at the
Blimhers the other night May Rhmber.
you know. Is quite whistler, and she
walked over to the piano and sat down,
and was Just going to whistle her best
piece
She--Nes, go on.
He-Charlie I.inseed was there, and he
didn't know about her whistins talent,
And so when she looked up at him with
her mouth all puckered he thought it was
an invitation and he kissed her.
She-Dd he? Was-was II puckertd like
Ithis?-New York Mail and Express.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14

Joseph W. Holden, who died at Otis
field, Me-, recently, was the Professor
Holden who for many years preached
the theory that tho earth was Nat, He
started life as farmer and was very
successful. He was at one time trial
justice and at another a member OF the
state legislature. He got his notion OF
the carth's fairness 10y sitting up several
nights and noticing that the water in his
millpond did not run out when, according
to other theorists, the globe was upside
down.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
Rnlirfin six iiour,.

Distressing Bladder and Kidney Diseases
relieved in sin hours by New Great South
American Kidney Cure" 1t is great sur
prise ON account of its exceeding prompt
ness in relieving pain in bladder, kidneys
and back in male or female. Relieves re-
tentlon Of water almost Immediately. II
you want quick relief and cure this is the
remedy.
SOLD by w. ]. Henderson & Co., l72 COL
.lege ST., Burlington, VI
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14

Starvation never yet cured dyspepsia
Persons with indigestion are already half
starved They need plenty of wholesome
food Kodol Dyspepsia Cure digests what
you eat so the body can be nourished
while the worn out organs are being re-
constructed. II is the only preparation
known that will instantly relieve and COM
pletely cure all stomach troubles. II is
certain to do you good
j. w. O'SulliNan, w. p. Hall +, r.
Parker. Z. Gosselin, Bellrose Pharmacy,
u. r, Crandall, Winooskh
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
Following Instructions.

"Young Sammy Spender is carrying
out his governors wishes faithfully. isn't
he?"
"How's that?"
"Why. the old gentleman left instruc-
tons in his will that after his death his
dust was TO be scattered to the Winds
Life
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
Rcstrained by Consistcncy.

"You are enough to drive a man to sui.
eide" exclaimed the husband.
Then why don't you go and hang
yourself" tauntingy asked Mrs. Vick-
Sem.
Because" he howled 81 have been all
my life opposed TO capital punishment"
Chicago Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
Happen In Boston

"It,uks," he said taking the cigar. 81
will smoke this after dinner"
But it was so vile that he smoked It
while sitting on front seat In the grip
car on his way home.
For what was he that he should fy in
the face Of long established custom?-
Chicago Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
THE RETORT OCULAR.

Prcshy terian-Now the time limit is
abolished, how viii you Methodists get
rid Of clergyman when you don't like
him.
Methodist-Oh, | suppose We shall have
to cut off his pay and stdrve him out, as
you other scots do.--Indianapolis Journal.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
That Was Different,

"Never mind" said the comforter to
the detected lover. Don't let one re-
fusal deter you. Ask her again. A wo.
mans no often means yes"
"A woman's no may sometimes mean
yes" replied the rejected one, "but am
convinced that a woman's nit means
no."-Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
A Good BeRtnninH,

Mrs. Newbride-You know, John, you
promised to let me have all the pin money
l needed.
Mr.. Newbridc-Ycs, dear. and you shall
have it.
Mrs. Newbrde-Oh, you sweet thing!
Well, saw pin today with diamonds
and pearls in it, and ! do want it so.-
Philadelphia Press.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
LOVES DUPLICATES.

love you. loyc you, love you, dear,
More than my tongue can tell!
in all the world, though far or near,
There's none | love so we'll.
And though e.. others, now and then,
say these words, It's true,
How can fellow help 1t when
They so resemble youl
Nixon Waterman in Woman's Home Compan.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14

"Jonas Junius employs two lawyers
constantly"
why two?"
HE gets business advice from one, and
hen he consults the other about how
much he ought to pay of the first ones
pills" -~Chieago Record.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14

Quinn-Now. the question is, who did
sink the Spanish fleet?
De Fonte-I hope YOU are not going to
bring that up again.
Quinn-OE, no; that is down to stay
Chicago News.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14
Plausible,

"1he trouble with this TOOTH" said the
dentist, probing it with a long slender
instrument, is that the nerve is dying"
at seems to me, Doctor" groaned the
victim, ''yOu ought 10 treat the dying
with little more respect"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1900-06-14

Tailor-I think it suits you to q 7.
Customer-Well, | don't. It's too loose,
and | want il to be like the letter f.
Like the letter +! How do you meanT'
~ want you to make it fit. "-Phila-
delphia Record.