The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1900-08-26
HOTEL CLERKS KNOW THEM.
Guests Indicate Their Character by
the Way They Register.


the Way They Register.
New Orleans Mmes-Democrat
Funny how few men take the trouble
to write their names legibly on a regis
ter, remarked the man behind the coun-
ter at one of the big hotels to a reporter.
Look at this page, and this, and this!
HOW many signatures do you see that
you can read off-hand and be certain
you're right? Not one in four, I'll bet!
Now look again and note the number of
mere scrawls that nobody could possibly
decipher. A good many guests make that
kind of chicken tracks on a page merely
to be thought important. They have an
absurd idea that a bad signature indi-
Gates q person Of consequence, which is
due to the fact, I suppose, that men of
wealth often use a fantastic hieroglyph
in signing checks and drafts. There is
some common sense in that practice, be-
cause the scrawl generally includes some
peculiar turn or twist, known only to the
cashier Of the bank. and is protection
against forgery. But to deliberately
place an illegible signature on q hotel
register Is not only a silly affectation,
but a serious MISUNDERSTANDING, of
course, that the writer has no reason for
wanting to conceal his Identity. The chief
object Of a register Is to furnish informa-
ton to the public, for, as far as the house
Is concerned, the guest is at once enter
ed on the private ledger behind the coun-
ter. But the probabilities are that he
has friends who would like to learn of
his presence. and if they are expecting
him they will drop in and look over the
arrivals to see whether he has reached
the city. The mail carriers and express
men, the district messenger boys and
a good many others often consult the
book IN regard to matters Of Importance,
and you may rest assured they waste
precious little time untangling knotty au-
tographs. chronic scrawler is apt to
subject himself to some very serious an
noyances through the failure of people
to find him"
but how about fellows who can't
writer" asked guest who had listened
to the clerks little homily. Don't they
sometimes make a scrawl for a bluff?'
Yes; I've known that to be DONE" re-
Piled the clerk smilingly, ''but not often
man who can't write finds it very diff
cult to make even a scrawI, and he gem
orally gets out Of registering by throw
ing the blame on the pen I can't use a
thing like this he will say, haven't you
a broader stub?' Nothing in the rack
will anTwer and, Knowing by that time
how the land lays, I volunteer to regis
ter for him. Hotels entertain a good
many people who can't write and the
bad pen comedy is enacted quite fire.
quently. OF course, the clerk has to be
very careful not to let the guest suspect
that he is on the the dodge, for such
folks are very sensitive about their
educational inf1rm1ties I once knew a
man who paid s., 200 a year solely to keep
hotel clerks from knowing that he
couldn't write his own name He began
life as a day laborer, drifted out West
and made fortune through leasing a
supposed worthless mine in Montana.
When he accumulated about $15O,0O0 he
sold out and started in to travel and have
good time. He was naturally shrewd,
but he had never had a particle of
schooling, and lodging registers at new
hotels became the chief worry of his life.
AT first he used to tie up his hand in a
handkerchief and pretend it was hurt,
but he realized that the trick was pref
ty transparent, and at last he employed
a young newspaper man at 800 a month
to travel with him as his secretary The
examiner never sent or received any let
tiers; he didn't care for reading, and the
'secretarys one and only duty was to
sign hotel registers. They would walk
in together and the young chap would say
deferentially: Shall I do the registering
for us both, colonies? IF you please, his
boss would reply, and he would there
upon write: Col. = and secretary, Mon
tana.' Then he could go off and play un-
til they got ready to leave town. 1t was
the softest job in the universe. He held
it for several years; In fact, until his
patron succeeded In drinking himself to
DEATH"