Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1900-08-26
Taking Care
Of a Husband.

3 '''S'sNsTF!sTE!TvsF1r}sgs observation-disclosures
Mrs. J. Matrimonial Bliss has MT
gone out of town ya- and she isn't
Summing or economizilg either, as
she explained to an astonished fen,i-
nine friend from The country. whom
she encountered on the quiet side OF
the sodawater fountain the other morn
ing.
i am conducting fresh air society
and hot weather relief restaurant for
John Matrimonial Bliss, Esq, who is
far too good a husband to be left in
town to swelter by himself" began the
wearer of the black and white dimity,
stirring the compound in the long
glass while she talked. LAS rule
you know we take house somewhere
near town. and John runs in and out
on the train every day, but this year
the cottage we usually rent was sneak
ed from us by some INSCRIPTIONS Phil
adelphians. Nothing else available
was offered and John suggested that
should take the boys into the noun
tains and he would try to, give us a FRI
day to Monday visit twice month.
Risks some Women Run.
well, that determined me- AS
said before, John is a good husband, in
fact, he is just as near perfection as
man can be and remain a truly de-
llghtful companion and trustworthy
guide for a woman through this world
ly old world. So, then and there, l de-
cided that he was far TOO valuable to
be deserted in a hot city in the lonely
summer time. I've seen lots of excel
lent husbands irreparably injured just
that way. An otherwise affectionate
wife will reduce her house to the as
pect of retired graveyard, have the
worst servant in the bunch to do up
the hard worked mans room, break
fast any old way and trust to clubs or
restaurants to keep the poor fellow
from the desperation of loneliness and
starvation.
When she comes home in the au-
tumn she is amazed to find that the
head of the house has got a chronic
club habit Of dyspepsia, and either one,
you know, is the entering wedge for
mutual disagreement in the average
family
Taking all this into consideration,
l sent my boys off to their grandparents
on the fara, and l can say, without
boasting, that i have kept my man
happy and cool, we'll fed and free from
boredom.
Preserving Perfect Specimen
1T isn't one-half the difficult job you
would think l began by putting the
house in order and shut up the bed
rooms we had no use for, took up the
carpets, cleared away the curtains, re-
moved every scrap of superfluous brio
a-brac and got the furniture into COW
ers. | did not, however, reduce the liv-
ing rooms to the typical summer ap-
pearance of uninviting ghostliness by
bagging the chandelier and tying up
the pictures. Pictures and chandeliers
are none the worse for summer expos
ure when the rooms are kept shady
and free from flies, and where big
gaps were made by the removal of fra
gile ornaments. / filed in with pots
of greenhouse plants. The sight of
them, you know, cools the most heat
ed imagination, and as our house has
fairly wide balcony at the rear | had
a green and white striped awning
made for it, ran a line of flower boxes
\,
converted it into an open air break
fast room.
Having done so much, turned my
attention to the business of keeping J.
Nj. Bliss temperature, while in the
house, down to normal. | artfully in
quired from my lord about all the lit
tie devices used in the clubs and res
taurants for men, and / went them sew
eral better. We have electric lights in
our house, so there was nothing to
prevent my having electric fans. At
half-past five in the evening our man
comes with the hose and sprays down
the vines on the front of the house,
washes the steps and gives the back
yard a drenching. From half-past 8
in the morning until shutdown the green
blinds are closed, the sashes pulled
down, the blue Holland shades drawn
and not a ray of hot sunlight enters
the house.
Once a day all the hardwood floors
are wiped up with cold water, for l
don't permit broom or feather buster
to appear; the range is turned off and a
gas stove takes its place; the laundry
Is given out and candles and electric
lights take the place of other illun4-
mating mediums
Domestic Bar.
After / got so far | went down town
and bought valuable work on how to
mix soft and hard drinks, and now |
know that any woman who can read
and who has a thoroughly equipped re-
frigerator can produce cooling COM
pounds of infinite value. Many of
these hot mornings I've spent, cool as
a cucumber in, my pantry, shaving
ice, opening soda bottles, squeezing
lemons and tasting every ten minutes
until l got the Ceeret of mixing a cool
and stimulating beverage. I've learned
at least a dozen priceless tricks with
ice and liquids, and the value of ny
recipes lies in the fact that while the
result is delicious and cooling, / hardly
use any of the heating liquors and fer
mented things that, according to my
guide book, the barkeepers employ.
The Way the scheme Works.
When the first hot wave got to
town l set all the deadly machinery
of my scheme to work, and no carrier
pigeon or family cat is more infatuated
with his home than my John When
he drags up town at o'clock every
snare is laid for him. The floors have
had their cold water bath and the