The Virginia enterprise., 1900-10-26

due Silas Scott, fer carryin' a dee
he wears out the one he's got on; also a
pair of boots an a shotgun.
C'Ef keep on ;.-runnin' fer office III
lr dead broke an in ,he hans OF Il lc-
>ti>e1 before long! ')-At.an:a CoAstit,l>
tion.
Ii!c Presbyterian Review tells o.
Scottish minis er who minded the Lord
il a prayer. "For, as Thou knove>t men
uo NOT gather grapes OF thorns, no; It's
g. ,he national emblcm.' 'This delicate
reference 70 the thistle as the national
r!nheHl OF Scotland is dciciou>,' says
he Review, ''but how it would have sur
p *"I the writer's OF the fo:lr Gospels"
Seldom has there nccn a man mere fer
t:.s. in suggestions. than Mr.. Mo0iy. but
i1 was alw*ys his desire to- find OF the
itr 1T other men. On one r.'>asi~n. ut
rir:tiny o. Il hoard OF Sundays hcol
| r!a:lu.yrr>. one OF. the members mad, il
! vrl; novel proposal.
T.,rnin= uni"kl y to Il very su"cc*Scu!
*:1 &. .ntrntcnt vino happened to be i,tr,-
cnt. Mir. Moody asked:
~; hat &c you think ahout that:''
- think 1t Il most excellent idea. Mr..
No;>>iH. and | may say that we have been
aiming; to do that very thing fos two
years, replied the superintendent.
'IS that so?' said Mr.. Moody "Tlcn
don "ou think it is about time You
fire! - advance.
>i,?onS-"The ether day I went ont
walking with my best girl aal after we
Got !; block or so from the house ! dis
covered that | had COME OF without my
hat Spi=ginS-'W:at did you 'lo"'
oh: lost MY head and then | cid not
I,,,l
At a dinner party a young man was
once talking rather fool>hly ;bou1 Oar
wn and his books. speaking very ton~
trmptuovSly of them. and he said Ia the
Bishop OF Winchester CWilbcrfurvc;:
M lord; have you read Darwin< last
book on the descent of Manu. Yes, I
have" said the bis mop: whe:eupo2 the
young man continued: 'What NONSENSE i!
is, talking Of our being descended from,
apes! Besides, | can't sec the use of surI.
stuff. | can't see what differences ii
would make to me if my grandfather
was an ape NO." the bishop REPLIED
II don't see that it would: but it must
grandmother" The young man had NJ
more to say
Friend-"I wonder Ethel, that you al
lowed that Frenchman to kiss you in
the conservatory" Ethel-"I couldn't
help it, why couldn't you?" Be
cause l can't speak French" ."-Weekly
Telegraph.
The gentleman from Philadelphia was
strolling on the beach at Atlantic City
looking for shells for his little girl. AS
he tells the story in the Record, "aonS
! came one OF those old idiots who ask
questions with their mouths which their
eyes could answer. He smiled upon me
and said. Zine day: isn't it? Are you
saying the first thing that popped into
my mind; I'm looking for set of false
teeth | lost while in bathing.' He ex-
pressed his sympathy, and then his face
ut up as his eye caught sight OF a pink
and white object on the sand. We'll, l
declare! Here they are now' he cx-
a set Of false teeth lying right at his feet.
l was too surprised to do anything but
grab them and put them in my pocket;
The funny part of it is that | never had
tooth, pulled in my life. 1 wonder
whom that false set belongs to-"
An English sentry once stopped car
riage which was out of order on the
night of a court ball. A lady put her
head out of the window and remarked
that she had the right to go on, because
she s was the wife of q cabinet minister.
ply; "but | couldn't let you pass even if
ister.' ''''''
A party Of Americans were sitting on
the upper deck of a Rhine river boat, en-
Joylng the charming scenery. One was
reading aloud from 4 guidebook about the
Sfl lac hnx~
Just as the boat was passing one of the
1lnest ola buildings. woman in the par
ty exclaimed to her companions: "Why.
that old castle is inha hitcd. Sec, there
are blinds at the windows' no." said
a man standing by her side. "those are
the shades OF their ancestors"
Ministerial Friend ION visit)-'I won
der what makes your mamma so happy
today? She is singing around all over
Little Nell-'I dcss she's thought Of
sometin' to scold papa about when he
comes home.''-Tit-B Bits.
"Our landlaG:," remarked the man
boarder, us the most stingy woman I
ever met; always looking out for number
| One.'
"Oh, WE'LL" replied the man who makes
4
widow who was thrown upon her own re-
! sources, and"
Not at all. If she was a widow she'd
be looking out for number two''-Phila-
delphia Press
Markleigh-"Your office seems badly
m4ssed up; Have you no janitor?''
Barkleigh-'We have one. but since
he became faith curist he has been civ
ing the office absent treatment "-Bai-
timOre American
Miss Margaret Fish, who studied at
Bryn Mawr college last year. and has
returned to her home in Brookline.
Mass, stepped into a Chestnut street
store few days ago to make some ar
rangements regarding her furniture.
''Good afternoon, Miss Fish," said the
salesman, bowing deeply, Il just dropped
you a line''
He was not conscious of any humor in
| the situation until the college girls laugh
accepted it.-Philadelphia Bulletin.
| Teacher-"Now, children, suppose this
classroom We're suddenly enveloped in
| flames. and eScanQ ont off u,ho+ 1,,o,,lI