Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1900-05-19
Mr.. JOBSON'S NEW CLOTHES

began to arrive. They came with such
consecutiveness and close continuity that
Mrs. Jobson barely had time to open one
bundle and examine the contents thereof
before a wagon would pull up In front of
the house and disgorge another bundle.
All told. there were about nine Of them.
When Mrs Jobson had opened them all
and spread the contents all around the
room there was but one conclusion for her.
She tottered into chair and covered her
face with her hands.
THE poor old boy Is so overworked that
he is losing his mind" she said to herself
with conviction. He is going completely
off his head"
The more she looked over the contents of
the bundles addressed to Mr.. Jobson the
more she was convinced that Mr.. Jobson
was on the verge of mental dissolution.
Here is a partial list of some of the things
in the bundles:
A bold. imprcssionistic. plaid suit Of
clothes, with checks not quite so large as
paving stones but nearly so-a suit. in fact,
a la the renowned Chuck Corners.
A cream-colored sombrero. with slate
gray scarf wrapped in many folds around
the sides.
A pair of patent leather oxford ties. of
extreme ultra bulldog shape. with half-inch
extension Soles.
A fancy west. with blue. red, yellow and
green polka dots studding the same.
Six pairs torrid silk socks, of more va
rieties of tints than were ever seen in any
covenant in the skies since the beginning
of the world.
Three neckties Duff scarfs, to be exacO
that would make any Burne-Jones color
scheme look like a gray morning in a
m:asmatic swamp. etc. etc.
This unused Mrs. Jobson. sorrowfully.
lis the final symptom. l will have to go
away with Mr. Jobson for long time. He
must have 4 rest. Perhaps he will grad
ually regain his faculties if he gives up
the cares of business for at least four
months
She was still sitting in the midst of the
opened bundles when Mr.. Jobson came in
whisting. He didn't look like a man with
dimmed faculties at all. He appeared 70
he pretty iaunty. as a matter of fact Mrs.
Johson sat and regarded him sorrowfully.
"Oh. the things have come | see, SAID
Mr.. Jobson. in quite unusually good
ratured tone of voice. How dye like en-
Mrs. JobsOn?"
Mrs. Jobson rested her chin In her mana
and made no reply.
Great suit. isn't it?" said Mr.. Johson.
picking up the coat and holding 1t out at
arms length. piece of English goods that
struck my fancy Little lively in its con-
ception but chaste at that, don't you think
at is lively" replied Mrs. Jobson. with
mournful glance at her husband
"Ah, and the shoes.'' said Mr.. Jobson.
picking one of the bulldog pedals up and
holding it out. Nov. that's what | call a
sensible piece of footgear. don't you?
Roomy and yet stylish It's taken me
long while to come around to this shape of
shoe. but I'm going to wear 'em now for
the rest of my life. Just a little-er-pro-
nounced in their general design. perhaps,
but neat-distinctly neat-don't you think
SOP"
They are pronounced" said. Mrs. job
son. shifting her chin to her other hand.
And these sockS,'' said Mr.. JobSon, pick
ing up pair that looked as if they had
been dipped in purple, red green. black.
orange and pink dyeing watts: they're Just
the caper for low Shoes aren't they? Err
but rich. rare and racy. as it were-be-
fitting the hot weather season. Like emf"
Mrs. Jobson was compelled to pass this
time
"Oh. here's the hat. too said Mr. job
son. picking the sombrero out of its inclos-
ing handbox and putting it on his head and
regarding himself in the mantel glass.
I've been wanting a hat like this for
years. but I've been holding back for some
reason or other. It's got a prairie look
hasn't IT.? Now. If you don't call this
weeping, breezy-a big. whole-souled, roll
licking ha,. then 1 don't know what you'd
call it. Mrs. Jobson. that's all'
ITS breezy and rollicking," said Mrs.
Jobson, in choked voice.
Dye like this vest?'' inquired Mr.. Job
son, picking up the fancy waistcoat and
looking it over admiringly. characteristic
looking thing. don't you think? And these
ties-l couldn't help but buy these ties
I've been wearing in the way of ties-eh?"
Yes, they are very different" said Mrs
Jobson
Mr. Jobson took off his cuffs. mopped his
forehead and stood off and regarded Mrs
JobSon.
1t is plain to perceive madam" said he,
mat you do not approve of my purchases
That's all right. | didn't expect Won would
am long past the period when | would ex-
Fect you to approve anything | do on my
own responsibility. | had no idea in life
mat you would take kindly to these articles
l have bought for the purpose of adorn-
ment, and l am not disappointed, there
fore
Here Mr.. Jobson cleared his throat in a
very stentorian manner indeed, and went
on:
sen. as sort of silent protest against the
idea That seems to possess you that your
husband IS an old man. You have been
picking out all of my articles of apparel for
good many years, and you've gradually
got me reduced to an aspect of extreme de-
creplt old age so far as my raiment is con-
cerned Madam, you care mistaken Your
husband is not an old man, or ANYTHING
like an old man Not much is he Mrs
Jobson. Your husband is just as skittish
and lively as he was before he was broken
Cor thought to be broken to matrimonial
harness. and he revolts against the black
ana the salt-and-pepper and the dull brown
suits you have been forcing him to wear
for some years now, not to mention the in
dlVldual black socks and the COMMONPLACE
cravats and the hats like everybody else
Wears-fn fine. the mediocre raiment that
you have been thrusting upon him! He re-
volts with both feet, Mrs Jobson. and
hcnceforth and forever he's a-going to ar
ray himself just his own fancy die
tates! He is going to decline to be made an
old man of until he begins to feel old. II
your re not too old to wear cerise silk shirt
waists and tight-ftting fouIard dresses COW
cred with morning glories. Mrs. Jobson,
then I'm not too old to sport something
besides white-and-black effects myself and
II you intend to sulk over it, why Just YOU
go ahead and sulk madam-just you sulk"'
Mr.. Jobson wore his weird new makeup
when he went for solitary walk on Sun
day afternoon. Mrs. Jobson excused herself
from going with him on the plea that she
had violent headache. Mr.. Jobson didn't
meet any of his friends in the progress of
MS walk. but he excited a great deal of
remark on the part of other Sunday after
noon pedestrians. Many of them, in fact |
turned about in their tracks to gaze after
Mr. Jobson's portly. flamboyant figure and
small boys punched themselves
and hurled such derisive remarks at him
as Look at his old sportlets with the Buff
falo Bill id!' and Get next to his aged
with the Willie-boy make-up.'
and so on. Mr.. Jobson looked bit drawn |
and haggard when he got in from his Sun
day afternoon walk about two hours before |
Mrs Jobson expected him, but he didn't |