The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1900-08-02
SToRIE !;

When ceproved on one occasion FOR
not attending committee called to
consider the paving of st. P:lul's
church-yard with wood, Charles
Macklin, the noted Irish actor, said:
"Oh, you lay your heads together.
and it will soon be DONE"
When Queen Victoria was at Bal
aged cottager, and, on leaving her,
said: "You will now no longer be
afraid of me, and | shall expect you
to pay me visit. "Ah, ma'am," She
replied, cts not yerself I'm fright
ened at, it's them grand servants.''
of England, once asked a boy in a
rural school the definition of the word
pilgrim "a Pilgrim answered
the boy, is a man who travels from
place to place." 81 do that" said
the Inspector; "am ! pilgrim The
answer came: NO, sir: a pilgrim is
a good man"
Handle is said to have had such an
appetite that on one occasion he
ordered dinner for three at a hotel
and presented himself alone to en-
joy it. Shall serve dinner, sir,
or wait for the company" said the
waiter. ''Company?" said Handel,
wat company? l am re company;
serve re dinner, PERSISTENCE
General de Gallffert one day, in
the corridors of the chambers of dep
uties, was talking to friend, wh,-
he suddenly heard cries from the
chamber of "Assassin. Assassn!"
With a laugh. he said to his friend:
They are calling for me-" and with
perfect calm he entered and called
at the top of his voice: VOLTA! No-
ila"
Among the many stories told late
ly in connection with the late Duke
OF Argyll is one concerning dis
tinguished officer of the army who
called on the duke at Inverary Cas-
tie, and was told by the servant that
he was not at home. where is hep"
asked the officer. Hes AVA. AVA. :"
was Donald's hesitating reply; Jaw
washing himself" The duke was at
a sea side watering place.
When the gallant Welsh captain,
David Gam, was sent forward by
Henry the Fifth to reconnoiter the
French army before the battle of
Agincourt, he found that the enemy
outnumbered the English by about
five to one. His report to the king
is historic: There are enough to be
killed, enough to be taken prisoners.
and enough to run away This
quaint forecast of the result of the
battle at once spread through the
camp. and doubtless every yeoman-
archer of the valiant company felt
an inch taller. We know that it was
almost literally justified by the event.
Poor Cams dry humor was equn
by his courage. He was killed while
in the act of saving the life of his
prince.
A Shelby county justice of the peace
whose residence and civil district adj
join the Mississippi state line. had
abnormal appreciation of the respon-
sibility of the Office, and never lost
an opportunity to exercise his pre-
rogative of demanding that pea. "a.
preserved. One day his son ."
hired man got to fighting on a
stretch of the farm near the fence
se"arated the two states. The
old gentleman mounted the fence,
and, with an air of authority, COM
1nanded: In the name of the state
of Tennessee l demand peace" Just
then the fence gave way - -
went down with the fence, ~
=" the mississippi side, he yelled to
his son: "Give 'em HI, Billy! I've
lost my jurlsdlction!"
During the honeymoon of Mr.. and
Mrs. Gladstone, it is said that the
young MEMBER of parliament said to
his bride: do you prefer to know
responsibility, or will you hear
secrecy?" Mrs. Gladstone was far
too true woman not to choose the
second alternative, and she never be.
trayed the trust reposed in her-a
course which naturally compelled
her often to appear Indifferent or ig-
norant of what was going on. In
deed, at one time stories of Mrs.
| Gladstone's obtuseness We're widely
current in society. In 1885 an indis-
Greet lady asked Mrs. Gladstone how
| her husband was bearing up under
the many vehement attacks made on
him. 81 do not think he is much af.
fected by them," replied Mrs. Glad
stone, "for 1 hear him every morn.
| ing singing in his bath" He is like
a kettle, Them replied the lady,
which sings when full of hot waters
"a retort which, though it may not
have pleased the wife of the premier.
| appealed to her sense of humor.
Wise is the individual who backs
his friends and faces his enemies.
A soft corn is nearly always a hard
thing to bear.
Better throw stones at random ia tn.
er than idle words.
When the mist turns to rain the
umbrella is very often missed.
HALF-RATE EXCURSIONS
TO UTAH.
While there are tourist rates to Salt
Lake City and Ogden and return in
effect every day, special opportunity
is Afforded to visit the worlds greatest
sanitarium and health and pleasure re-
sort through series of cheap excur-
sions to leave Chicago and St. Louis,
August 7th and 21st. These excursions
leave Omaha, St. Joseph, Kansas City.